Determined Society with Shawn French | Adversity & Mindset - Building Confidence

Episode Date: December 23, 2021

Throughout our lives our confidence is chipped away by self-limiting beliefs but those beliefs are no innate. They are created people closest to you tearing you down and you starting to believe that shit. In this episode Shawn French tells his story and gives you a simple activity that will build your confidence over time. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/shawn-french/message Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When it comes to what your family eats and drinks, you know your choices matter. You're the expert because you know what fits your life. And getting it right starts with good information. That's why America's beverage companies are sharing more information about our ingredients at good to know facts.org. No spin, no judgments, just the facts straight from the experts for more than 140 beverage ingredients. Visit good to know facts.org. What's up guys, good morning to you. Here we are again with another podcast, The Determined Society.

This is Sean French, your host. Before we get into it, I want to take care of some business first. Please, if you are listening to this episode or any of the episodes that I've recorded prior to this one, and you truly find value, enjoy it, whatever it is, please share it with your friends and family. Share it on your social media. Share it in your stories. The only way I'm growing right now is through word of mouth. and it's the only way that I want to know you guys with dumb ass ads throughout my episodes.

I know you guys don't want to hear that and I don't want to do it. So please share the message. Today I want to talk about confidence. You know, confidence is something that I believe kids are born with and then somewhere along life, you know, through friends or maybe even family, someone that they love and trust, someone that's close to them, helps chip away at that confidence. And as we grow into our adolescence, into our teenage years and early adulthood, if we don't figure out how to build that confidence back up again, we're left to being adults that do not have any confidence and, you know, have to or get to raise kids and have a wife or a husband.

And, you know, having a lack of confidence and having a family and trying to hold a career down and, and building a life is very, very difficult. So I want to tell you my story a little bit. And this is not a sob story, guys. This is information, okay? So I grew up in Concord, California. And, you know, I wasn't, I don't have the best genes, I would say, right? Healthy eating and exercise and things like that were not a part of my childhood.

I didn't see my dad or my mom get up and work out, right? I didn't see them trying to feed us healthy. And that's why my wife and I do the best we can to feed our children nutritious food. And they see me working out all the time. Typically, when I get home from the gym in the morning, they're waking up. They see me sweating. They know the deal. So I feel like when they grow up, that's what they're going to do.

Anyway, I digress. I grew up in Concord, California. And growing up, I was pretty good at baseball. I ended up going playing Division I baseball at LSU. And nothing after that. I was just done with it. But as I grew, you know, I started getting into my 11, 12 year old, you know, time frame. And my dad started telling me, hey, you're looking a little pudgy.

Hey, you know, you've got some love handles there. What's up with that, man? Look at your tits. What the fuck? And so that went on, right? That went on my whole life. even into July 4th of this year, he piped off to me. He's like, hey, it looks like you still got a little bit of side fat.

Like, dude, come on. Like, that's a separate podcast. I'm done. But the bottom line is constant chipping away, right? And what I realize is it's because that's how he feels about himself. He's a hot mess. I mean, hot mess. I mean, that guy hasn't.

I'm not going to go there. Never mind. You guys know what I'm saying. So anyway. I'm hearing all these things, right, about how I'm pudgy, I'm slow, I've got, you know, all these different things. Now, it's one thing to tell somebody, tell an athlete, hey, listen, you know, I feel like if you work out and we, you know, work on your speed and we do what we can to burn some fat, you're going to perform better. Would you like to perform better? That's a great idea.

Yeah. Let's do that. but when you when you constantly berate somebody especially when they're working right if if if someone is running and doing the things they can and you're still saying like hey you still look like shit or you're not perfect then what is that going to do to the confidence level of that of that young boy or that young girl right so years and years of this on top of that constant making fun of my ears constantly making fun of something about me. Like, for example,

if you do not make it in the major leagues, you are not going to amount to anything in life because you don't have any skills. You cannot work with your hands. You can't even change a tire. You can't do this. You can't do that. You can't.

You can't. You can't. You can't. So what is the first thing that I think of? Right? Because I didn't have the tools to work through that then. I had zero emotional intelligence. shit i didn't have very good emotional intelligence until i met my wife six years ago i mean think

about that right i had to work on that but back then i had no shot all i thought was like damn dude you're right i'm a fat piece of shit with big ears and i'm never going to make anything out of my life that grew a lot of resentment in me okay and so as an adult i've struggled with weight because my inner core beliefs are telling me like, bro, you're fat. You're a piece of shit. So like when you are getting in shape, I'm going to do something to sabotage your progress because how you really truly feel about yourself is X, Y, and Z. Guys, that's, so I'm coming from a place of I know how it feels.

If you're out there struggling with that, because I'm here for you. DM me at Sean MF3-2 on Instagram. I'm here. I'm listening. I want to help you. I want to work with you because I know how that feels. I go through it. I fight it.

Why do you think I'm up at 4 o'clock every morning going to the gym? This is not about me becoming Mr. Fitness or me trying to have a fitness brand. This is me working on my mind. That's what most people don't get about me. You know, they talk about why are you doing this? too much. Can you just chill out? No one should tell anybody anything because they don't walk a mile in their shoes. They don't know the demons that that person is dealing with on a day-to-day basis. Guys, this is something that I think about non-stop. So what do I do? I try to build my confidence on a

day-to-day basis, right? So let me get to it. Yes, I did make something out of myself. Very successful sales career. I have a beautiful family. three amazing kids gorgeous wife two amazing puppies i got to mention my puppies because if i don't my wife probably won't listen to this episode we'll actually find out if she listens to this episode if she if she references this comment anyway so medical device career very successful right i i've i've sold anywhere from insurances HR payroll mortgages to medical device. I've succeeded in everything I do.

And that's not because I'm someone special. It's because every day I'm trying to change the narrative that's going on in my mind by doing the hard shit first. By doing the things that make me feel uncomfortable, meeting new people, making that phone call. That's why some of the things that you guys see on my social media, I say, make the call. Dude, just make the call because you just don't know.

Right. So that's what I've done. I've been a successful baseball. coach and I still coach kids right and now I have a the determined society this podcast I have a business I I've built a networking group I work with clients on mindset and weight loss etc I've done a whole lot with my life and and I've I've taken my story that the feelings of insecurity and the lack of confidence and I've worked on them and and I help people build that up so to me everything my father said to me is false but I had to work at it and I'm not telling you this as a sob story because everybody has a story everybody has their shit there's there's zero

reward in that the reward is in what you do on a daily basis to overcome that shit and if you're not doing anything to overcome it you're just spouting off poor me whatever on social media it's going to get you a lot of likes, but it's not going to get you any respect. It's not going to get you any reward. The reward is in the work, the work that you do within yourself so that you can be successful in life. And guys, success is different to everybody. And we'll get into that on a separate podcast.

But I just want to be very clear. It is different for everybody. So how do we build that confidence, right? How do we build it? One, I think you need to stack, you need to stack wins. You need to stack Ws all day long. And how do you do that? One, you set up an alarm on your phone, right?

And entitle it whatever, whatever connects with your why. Mine says, your kids need you healthy. And dude, that's real. My kids need me healthy. My kids need me around. How can I be a father if I'm not healthy? If I can't chase my kids around, how am I going to be there for them? So for me, alarm goes off 4 a.m.

Your kids need you healthy. It connects with my Y. I see it. If I don't get up, that's an L. That's a loss. But when I get up, it's a win. So 4 a.m. stacking a W.

Go to the gym. It's a W. Get home. eat something good for myself, that's a W. Get started with work. That's a W. Post things on social media to grow my brand. That's a W.

Compliment a stranger. That's a W. So you guys get the drift, right? I'm stacking Ws all day long. The more wins we can stack up, the better off we are. Because what it does to us subconsciously, it tells you that you're a winner. Every single day. you're stacking up win after win after win after win.

And, you know, the one thing I did notice is the times where I stack up wins all day long and then in the evening, if I posted an L, a loss, that next day for me is very, very difficult because I'm creating a different trend. I'm creating a trend of losing or not doing what I'm supposed to do, right? And, you know, it's not the gym for everybody, guys, right? It could be you need to get up and read a self-development book. You get up and spend one extra hour playing with your kids before they go to school, making them breakfast.

That's a win. That should build your confidence. You're being a great parent. So don't get it twisted. This is not about fitness. This is about building confidence the way you need to build confidence for you. Whatever I do doesn't work for everybody. Whatever you do doesn't work for me.

point blank period right so we stack wins all day long and you do that day after day week after week month after month year over year and then what do you have you have a confidence you have a confident sense of being you walk around taller your body feels different because you're making choices that tip the scale towards winning you are consciously deciding to to win to do what's right for you so guys, if you're feeling that you don't have any confidence and you just can't get up, just move. Look, see, move.

Don't think. Say, okay, if you're feeling like you need to get in shape, then wake up early and go do it. Wake up, go do it. Eat good food afterwards. Eat good food the whole day. Those are wins, right? Because that's all that matters is how we feel. Right. How we feel inside about ourselves is projected unto the world.

It's projected to your spouse, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, whatever, your kids, your dogs, your cats, strangers. You're going to project out in the world how you feel about you. That's why you see all these people spouting off on social media are so angry. And they're, F this, F that, F these people, right? Dude, they're talking about themselves. They ain't talking about those people, right? We're projecting to the world how they feel about them. To me, that's not a confident individual.

That's someone that's insecure, right? So my message today is stack those wins, write the wins down, right? Write them down. Show yourself what you won at throughout the day. Journal it. Because listen, if you're not tracking it, then you truly have no idea how much you've won that day. Small wins matter too, guys. It doesn't need to be a big win, right?

It could be like, I drank a gallon of water. That's a win. The benefits of a gallon of water a day to your body, tremendous. When? I did not eat fast food today. For some people, that is huge. For me, I just don't do fast food anymore. I just don't like it unless it's in a pinch.

And I try to do the healthiest thing possible. Right. But for some people, waking up and going to McDonald's every day as part of their life. Right? they get that sweet tea or they get that diet Coke or Coke. If you just don't drink sweet tea in the morning, that's a win. That is a win. Write it, the freak down.

And take inventory every single day of how much you win on a day-to-day basis and then look yourself in the mirror at night and say, dude, you are a winner, period. Look how much you won today. What the world says about you, what your loved ones say about you back in the day, or your friends, that don't mean shit because you have the evidence that you're a winner. All right, guys, listen, share the episode. I'm out.