Determined Society with Shawn French | Adversity & Mindset - Dominating life and relationships in Growth Mindset with Brian Covey

Episode Date: October 17, 2022

In this episode Shawn French sits down with a high level entrepreneur, husband and father, Brian Covey. In this conversation Shawn and Brian dig into the Growth Mindset and how it is paramount for success in being a quality person and professional. Brian went from a professional soccer player to an executive in one of the largest mortgage providers in the country, Loandepot. He is also a loving husband, soccer dad and a mentor to many. You’re not going to want to miss this impactful conversation. You can connect with Brian at: Instagram: @thebriancovey Twitter: @thebriancovey Website: www.Briancovey.com Podcast: The Brian Covey Show --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/shawn-french/message Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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Message privately with everyone. Learn more at WhatsApp.com. It's your core beliefs about yourself that drive your thoughts that drive your action. I started to share my beliefs. And in a way, it required and forced me to get clarity about what do I believe? Do I believe this or do I believe that? Then as you start to share, you have opposing views.

I welcome that. People like, oh, the haters, this, that, and the other. Look, I welcome somebody with an opposing view or new information. This gentleman right here was a pro soccer player. Now he's a soccer dad, family man. amazing executive for one of the largest mortgage companies in the whole country, uh, top rated podcast and a creative disruptor. I have with me, Brian Covey. What's up, my man? Sean, dude, how about that intro, bro? Bring in the energy. Hey, dude, it's, I'm feeling

it, man. You know, I got, I got this handsome guy, fit guy on the other end. I got to bring something. So, so happy to have you on, dude. Likewise. I'm excited to jam with you and add value. I think both of those. We do have a lot in. And that's what we find in life. The more we get to know people, slow down a little bit, realize we all have a lot more in common than we thought, and we can help each other accomplish a lot bigger goals in our life. So I'm excited to jam.

Yeah, man, it's so funny because it's talk about the commonalities here for a second, right? You played soccer. I played baseball, right? And, you know, it's like when you got out of playing soccer, you wanted to grow into business. And it was like, hold on, hold on, Brian. You don't have any experience. You can't work here.

So it's like, well, I can't get experience unless someone gives me the opportunity. And then someone took a chance on you in the mortgage industry, right? To help you grow your business because you like finances and you love people. And you wanted to do something a little different. And so you found your way in the mortgage business. And it's funny because no one would hire me except and now this is like almost like a curse word. But remember AmeriQuest? Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God. They hired me. And I got into loans. and then once I realized what was going on, I rolled. I took my real estate salesperson exam and I went to a brokerage. So for all of you, mortgage and real estate professionals, as soon as I was smart enough to know that I was ripping people off, I took off. So, but that's the, you know, the very strong parallel here.

It was a lot actually started at Wells Fargo Financial. So similar type of operations and that we would do the furniture financing and debt consolidation. and you would have double-digit interest rates and APRs in the 20s. So when people tell me today, rates are high or this is high, I'm like, bro, it's relative, right? Like, it just depends on what you've seen in life. That's a good lesson for all of us in life is you haven't seen the extremes on one end to the other. You don't always have the best perspective of what's there. But it taught us both, I'm sure like you.

I was on cold calls, pounding the phone every day and selling to people twice my age, trying to teach them how to manage their money and what would be the right product. Yeah. And explain it why they should work with me and cold calling. So lessons learned in the trenches. That's funny because you, what was it, the power hour?

Yes. You get on the power hour, you're not allowed to breathe or look anywhere else. It's just like, dial the phone and, you know, do these proposals for these people. I remember I was selling a ton of 228s.

Oh, yeah. Right? And, hey, great news. You're going to save you a thousand bucks a month. going to consolidate all your debt. And you're going to get a $27,000 tax right off. How does that sound? And that's the fees.

So basically what we're telling people is, hey, we're going to take an additional almost 30 grand away from your equity to roll it into this. And, um, you know, again, you can't get out of it for two years.

Yeah. You know, um, but, but hey, you know, after that two years, it's going to go that, that index is going to climb,

baby. and you're going to be hurting. So I'm glad we got out of that, man. That's right. That's right. We learned. Yeah. So, do tell the audience a little bit about yourself for those that may not know you.

Give us a brief little background into your, into Brian Covey. Oh, man. Well, I love one, thanks for having the show again because I think this is where we get to learn a lot about not just ourselves, but connect up with other people. And a lot of people probably relate to my stories. It's similar to many of yours is I was the younger brother. My brother was five years older. than me. And so a large part of my early life, learning to play was like trying to chase my older brother and his friends, which are bigger, stronger, faster, you know, all those things.

And that taught me some resiliency early in my life of when you compete with people that are bigger, stronger, faster than you, you do tend to acclimate to their level versus playing down. I don't know that I helped my brother other than being kind of a nuisance and chasing him. I grew up on the soccer field, man. My dad and those that follow. Professional soccer, professional sports, probably a member of Pele. Well, there was also Kyle Rote Jr., who many people know one of the great American footballers here, soccer played with Pele. He was actually at our church and was one of my first soccer coaches.

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Is it, we could buy a house in Touloum? Get optioning those options. We could lose everything. Or let's do a little. a little research. Get your head in the trade and make the investment decision that's right for you. Learn more at finra.org slash trade smart. And I share that because he was that first coach, that we all have that coach or that teacher or someone in our life early on. Maybe it was a Sunday school teacher. And they birthed a passion for something that maybe we do today or we still love.

And you talked about me being a soccer dad, like, yes, I got to play college and was on the Olympic team for a while, the U.S. national team for a while, all these cool things. I say, wonderful. But what it birthed more importantly was a love of the freaking game. And I still love to compete today, whether it's business, helping my kids compete, whether it's in how do I build my brand and run a successful podcast over there, right? Like all those things today, I've learned that when you do things that you love, I think it was Kobe that said it first.

I've heard Kobe say this before is when you really love it, when you really love something, you're willing to do what's not required, you're willing to do the extra whether no one's looking or everybody's looking and it's a big game. And so that's been a large part of my journey, 21 years now, financial services. And I am consistently, Sean, like you, I've seen and studied, I'm reinventing myself. I'm on this path of learning and growing every day, surrounding myself with great people. And I believe, one of my core beliefs is, God is uniquely gifted all of us with some talent, skill, experiences in our life. You may not know why that was happening for us,

but now we're able to unwrap that and use that in the world. And so that's how I show up every day. Three beautiful kids, 15, 13, and 7. My wife and I just celebrated 20 years being married here outside of Nashville, Tennessee. So that's my world in a nutshell, making a difference in the impact. I love it. Well, first of all, happy belated anniversary.

That is amazing. And yes, he does have a beautiful family, guys. Is he, you know, father of three, beautiful children, beautiful wife. You know, I just absolutely love your energy. And you talk about growth mindset a lot, right? But the thing that I really love most, and it's just like subtle things that you do. I mean, to be quite honest with you, man. And I don't know.

I think, you know, we connected on Instagram. You know, you follow me first. And, you know, I was like, okay, we're connected through Ken Jocelyn. I think it was. Yeah. And I started just really digging into you, man. And I'm like, you start, you're doing this gratitude, like, daily. gratitude and you're putting it out there and you're leading from the front and there's so many things

that go on throughout all of our days and you know again man like i am not good enough at this and having that self-awareness that someone like yourself and and that i have is like it's almost like that growth mindset almost sometimes can be an achilles heel right because it's like i'm acutely aware of what i suck at and um you tell me every day through facebook of what i am terrible at right? Indirectly. And, but it's, it's one of those things where I get caught up, man. I mean, I'm, you know, very much human and I'm very good at a lot of things.

But I tend to get so wrapped up on results, results, results, results. Because we're athletes, man. Yeah. You know, there is, you know, we talk about, you know, actions over results, you know, and things like that. And that is great. But when you're an athlete-minded individual, how many assists did you have? How many goals did you have?

What's your record, right? What's your resume of winning? So I can tend to get stuck in that. And it's always nice to read your post because they do recensor me. So thank you. Thank you. Gratitude was an interesting one. I'll tell you the story of actually had a colleague of mine that works with us in our recruiting department and helps with business development things.

Remember she was sharing with me. She's like, man, wouldn't it be cool? if you did like this 30 day gratitude challenge, I'm like, honestly, there's days I'm not feeling real grateful about stuff. And they're like, that's exactly why you should do it. And I remember that voice in my head of, am I going to do it or am I going to cower down to my feelings, right, that we all have.

And I'll tell you what I learned that was unexpected through that. Sean, I appreciate you sharing that because sometimes we don't get to hear about the people we impact, right? And we post things and we get a little bit of a benefit from it from going through the exercise. And it did cause me to think. and to pause and to have some reflection. But this time was different. There were several people that reached out that actually I admire,

that I go, wow, I never thought I could impact someone on that level. And so I'll tell you, one of the biggest takeaways that I was very unexpected was when guys like you or a couple of other people that I admire and I go, wow, they have a lot that they have accomplished, right? And they're saying, man, this really made a difference in my life. how many times do we not take that action, make the phone call, do what we thought, because we're like, you know,

nobody's really going to get anything from this. That's not why you do it. You do it to show up and to serve. And what I've found when we show up, it's often in those times where we hesitated or we thought less of ourselves, it's those limiting beliefs. It's often in those times that when we step out and go do it,

that then the picture becomes clearer. And so for anybody listening, I would say, if you're feeling that tug or that, that kind of intuition of I need to go do this or that, show up to that mastermind, go to that conference, hire that coach, whatever. Yeah. You should do it. That's a great point because, like, if, you know, for those folks that have been, you know, paying attention to me for this whole journey and, you know, I haven't really said it in a long time. But I used to say all the time, make the call. you know, because I'm, you know, a high, you know, very successful sales rep in corporate America, as well as doing this business. And I stay there because I want to be able to be in the trenches every day so I can help the salespeople and organizations grow.

I'm, I'm still living proof that I can do it. You know, so just like you, you're not just a coach. You also do the deal every single day. And I think that's what makes you great. And as a coach is that you're actually. doing it every single day. You know, but it's just one of those things where make the call, man, because you never know.

And it's, and it's just like you said, the thoughts over feelings, you know, and I, and I know, Ben Newman also says it. It's like, you know, standard over feelings. Oh, yeah. You know, feelings, you know, action over emotions, whatever it is. Everybody's saying the exact same thing, but everybody has a different delivery of it. Yes. You know, but that is so true, Brian, because it's like, you.

If we sit there every single day and we only move when we feel like it, all of us would be 350 pounds. We would have no money in our bank accounts because I know you enjoy sitting there watching Netflix at times too, right? Sit there. I'm going to put my hand in a bag of Doritos and binge eat and binge watch all day. I'm going to be happy. But tomorrow, I'm going to be worse mentally because of it. And, you know, I can tell you firsthand. You know, the last week here in Florida has been brutal, man.

You know, it's, you know, we were displaced, we evacuated, we came back and nothing is, nothing is the same as far as just the flow of your day. I mean, we're blessed where we're at, you know, we, we were very close to all the carnage for those who are listening, but we're okay. My mom's trying to put the pieces together with her home. We don't know what it looks like yet. She's in Northport. She's with me, though.

But like, just being back in the gym today, like I didn't want to. Yeah. But I tell you what, tomorrow I'm going to be better for it. you know and and dude like i i just love that so much you know it's uh it's something that i feel if we can master at least 80 to 85 percent you know i think that we would all be better off you know huge so what would you say for those people out there right now that um are saying like yeah you know i just don't know if i could really do that my emotions are too strong what would you tell those people so i'll come back to the limiting belief that i think i'll

walk you through a progression that'll actually help you that helped me. But when you're saying that, man, I couldn't help the think back. I had a mentor when I was working in corporate America at Wells Fargo. And I'll never forget when Cliff shared this with me, he actually wrote it on a whiteboard one day, right? So we're in the meeting room. There's all the leaders together and we're talking through. And I believe it was around 2011, 2012. And so we're coming out of like the worst housing crisis we've ever seen. Things are still pretty slow, not going great. And I remember we got together and Cliff wrote on the board, this powerful statement, I'll never forget, and I share it to this day, and it is you can act your way into a better way of feeling faster than you can feel your way

into a better way of acting. Meaning, if you take action, like you going and working out this morning, you felt better after you did it. That's the feeling that came from taking the action. many times what we do is we sit on the couch. We're sitting in our office and we're waiting for that moment. Like I'm going to have enough courage in a minute. I'm going to get myself hyped up. Yeah. But if you took the action, what I know is success breeds more success.

And in sports, you and I both learn this playing at high levels. I mean, Sean, when you had a great hit or a great catch or a great play, something that went well, your confidence went up, shoulders went back a little. A little bit. Put me in the game. coach. And for each of us, look, we're in a game. There is a scoreboard to life. Whether you realize it or not, there's a scoreboard. The good news is you get to determine that scoreboard and what you say success is, unlike sports, where it's just black and white. Yeah. But I share that because I'm going to walk you

through what has helped me. And this was a change in belief for me that actually, I think for a lot of us, what's holding us back is not the actions we're taking. I think a lot of people jump to, hey Sean go do this Brian go do that that's important and I think that that's something we should recognize and address but really let's back up a few steps and for those I don't know my dad's a psychologist so I grew up around not only a sports psychologist but my dad was a pastor like had some unique upbringing into how the brain works this was a breakthrough for me is actually what's determining what we do today the core is your belief it's what you believe about yourself about what you're about to do,

about if you do this, then this will happen. So I'll walk you through this, and this is a very simple way to think about it, is I used to think and believe that everybody that made it successfully, for example, that they just got lucky. Like, they didn't have to work as hard as everybody else, right? They just got lucky.

Maybe their parents had money. They landed that promotion that, ah, they just got lucky. They hit that one, you know, jackpot in their life. Well, that's not true. Everybody's successful, I know, has worked hard. So here's how this goes is you start with your beliefs. And if you believe something, the only way to change that belief is new information that comes in. And then you can realize, well, maybe that's not true.

Maybe this is actually a possibility. And what if it were true? So you can change your belief, which then changes your thoughts, which then changes your actions. So if you really frame that up, what I'm saying is it's about who you are and what you believe. because out of that will become your thoughts, which then become your actions. And so I can look at someone and go all the way back to what they believe and tell you what the output will be as a result of that.

When I changed that paradigm and I wasn't so focused on the results, the actions, I got focused on what do I believe? Who am I? Well, I'm someone that shows up and I work out every day because I believe working out serves my family and myself and my team and the benefits will be there. I do the actions.

So that's how it moves through. It's actually a paradigm shift for many people. They might miss that subtlety, but it is huge. Wow. I mean, I guess we could drop the mic on 17 minutes into our conversation. I'm not going to, but dang, bro. Like, that's it right there. It's your core beliefs about yourself that drive your thoughts, that drive your action.

Now, you know, here's the thing, you know, taking it a step, and I know this is what you're saying, a step further for those that are listening, If you are having bad results in your life, whether it's fitness, whether, because that's not everything, it's part of it, right? It's all connected, in my opinion, right? How you, I don't even think it's an opinion. It's science. Okay, let's just say it.

Like, if you are failing in fitness because of a certain mindset, you're probably failing in other areas of your mindset. You're probably waiting for that paycheck every single month, right? Like, hey, can't do that yet because we have to wait for this commission check to come in. That's a belief. right that caused a thought that is creating action whereas you know if you're if you want to create something different in your life think bigger think differently because then you're going to act in accordance to what is brewing inside right and that's something that is very difficult at times like

even for me you know i'm not going to i would never sugarcoat anything and i tell the people that i work with and i'm i'm very honest and raw about who i am right and i struggle with some of those things at times right and it's when i'm on a high you cannot stop me you know you can you can't you can try but you will fail uh but if if something tweaks like let's say a hurricane and now i'm wide open bro i'm wide open for a lot of different things and like right now to be fully transparent and we talked about this at a you know at a decent length prior to hitting record is, you know, here in southwest Florida, we're going through a lot of different stuff as far as Hurricane In goes. And while I've been blessed, my routine is still way off.

So it leaves me open for a lot of demons to come in. Yes. Right. And I start listening to those, I don't want people to think I'm crazy, but the bad voice, right? Like, hey, this isn't going to work because of this. Then I start believing in. I start thinking a different way. And I start acting or not acting as a result. Just it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, I'm rambling. I think a lot of us, this will pass by. And so, is, is, is what's helped me and what I share on social and what we were talking about earlier, you know, Sean is, I started to share my beliefs. And in a way, it required and forced me to get clarity about what do I believe, do I believe? Do I believe? Do I believe, this or do I believe that? Then as you start to share, you have opposing views. I welcome that.

People like, oh, the haters, this, that, and the other. Look, I welcome somebody with an opposing view or new information because even this year, I had new information brought into my life about investing. Great area for all of us to get more knowledge. I believe this area was not a great way for me to invest. I'd only invest in single family. I'll just tell you. And I had someone come and say, hey, Brian, have you looked at multifamily? If you looked at tax strategies on how you invest? No, I haven't. I didn't believe that's what I should be doing.

I believed I should be doing this. New information required a new belief. And as I listen to you, I think we're all similar to what you're going through is in hard times, our beliefs will get challenged. That's when you need to double down and go back to who am I at my core. And I think about this is the powerful question that's helped me through this and through the storms in life. that look, you might be following the mortgage of real estate business this year.

Suffice to say, it's been a challenging year. So I bet it has. Yeah. So I'm focused on who I'm becoming. And if I were to have my life in a year, five years, what is that version of Brian? And I'm not guaranteed this amount of time or that amount of time. Am I going to look back and say, today I won the day?

You know, and Ben Newman's helped me with this. I'll just give him credit is really got me the athlete. to stop focusing on this long range. And while I have a year or a two year or five year goal, I've learned how to attack the day. Today. And that comes back to your beliefs because then you'll see your priorities

and you'll start to see holes. Now what happens is, for many of us, we ignore it. Just like you said, like you hear that voice. Like, oh, I don't really need to do that. I can go binge watch. I can go do that. Look, every time you're making these choices, These are votes for that future self that I believe,

when I look back at yesterday, did I do the work? I can't go back, but I want to be proud of that the next day. So today, what are the things you need to do to win your day? You know what they are. You don't need somebody to tell you. You might see somebody to help you organize them, but look, you know what your priorities are. You just have to go do them each day, one at a time.

As you stack days, look, I have found there's a lot we can accomplish when we stack days, weeks, months, there's results. That's where people fall off and they have to start back over. Yeah. You know, it's interesting. It's the second time his name has come up. You know, Ben Newman. He's one of the greatest.

You know, the phrase attack your day, attack the day in, you know, and do the work and everything like that is pretty simple. I mean, when you really, you know, people say like, oh, just attack my day. Okay, cool. But like what people don't understand is when you get in your day, something's going to happen. Right. Something's going to happen family wise or, you know, something in your business is going to seem like a forest fire. But you got to put it out like right now, right?

But like if that's not what is on the actual docket for like that hour, you, it has to wait. Yeah. You know, perceived force fires aren't really forest fires. Okay. There are distractions away because you don't want to do the damn assignment. That's what it is. Oh, I'm too busy. So the thought of, and I want, you know, the listeners to really take from this is when we say attack the day and do the work, it is exactly that.

It is very simple, but it is a difficult thing to employ if you don't understand what the work is. Okay. And how you find what the work is, you sit there and you find your long term goal. What's my five-year goal? What's it going to take me to get there? And then you reverse engineer. I'm okay, okay. I need to talk for me.

If I'm building a sales performance coaching business, I need to speak to 10 salespeople a day. Period. Yep. Period. Like, at least, like, that is my non-negotiable. So for me, sitting here and complicated, well, how am I going to talk to five salespeople?

Because that's what happens, right? People will do that. Like, how am I going? Well, where do I go? Like, we have these amazing tools. You know, if you have LinkedIn, you have premium, you have sales navigator. filter your search to sales professionals.

You know, filter it to, you know, if you want to coach at a corporate level, go after the CRO. You know, the CFO, talk to these people. Shoot your shot, bro. Or sis, you know? Yes. But like, just do it. That's how you, what you're talking about, stacking those dubs, stacking it over and over again. So guys, quit complicating it.

Yeah. Just move. So I'll give you a tip that helped me is, you know, this market's changed a lot. I think of like seasons and sports, like, you know, you're on the road for a little. bit, then you come back, play some home games, and I just, I love relating to sports. But this season has required me to take a step back almost every 60 days and go, where am I? Sometimes it's been 30 days where I'm like, okay, I need to write down, where am I needed the most? Where do I drive revenue?

Where does my team need me? How do I create wins on the team scoreboard, right? So separate from Brian's scoreboard, but for the team, how do I contribute to my team? And collectively do we score points? if you're not writing down where those areas are, like you were very clear about it. I'll make 10 contacts there. I got very clear about this is the number of recruits I need to talk to every day.

It could potentially join our organization. This is the amount of top producers on our team today that I need to call, check in, recognize. This is the amount of outside business development, real estate agents, builders, financial planners. When I got clear about that's where I'm needed, I'm not an underwriter. I'm not a marketing person.

There are people that do those jobs wonderfully at our organization. great. I'm going to let them do those roles. That's what they're going to do. I'm going to coach, encourage, support them. But where does Brian contribute to the organization? Because if you can help people create wins, your team's going to be unstoppable. Some people won't like it because it creates a little bit of that competitiveness and like people are seen. And then you know are people contributing or not. If you haven't done that exercise, write down those things get very clear. And then what happens is each day, I know at the end of my day because I struggled with this, Sean.

Like, I would end my day and I'm like, hell, I don't know if I did enough today. Do I need to make more calls? Did I score the right amount of points? Like what happened? Achievers. And I saw that, you know, we probably all seen the video that's out there

and the guys talking about basically, like people that are high performers always worry about did I do enough? Like, I'm wired that way. I'm just wired. I could do everything on my list and still feel like I could have given more. Yeah.

There's a way to bring that in and it be a healthy competitive drive versus drive you to insanity. Dude, that's really, it's really funny. You say that because I had a conversation with my really good friend, Stephen Campolo yesterday. Hey, Stephen, I went over to his house. And, you know, a lot of times when he and I are kind of going through some stuff will like, hey, man, I need you for like 30 minutes. You know, it's my homeboy. One of my closest friends. Go over there.

And I'm like, look, dude, this is where I'm at right now. and I'm not liking it and I need to change it and I need you to tell me if I'm losing my mind. And he just goes, here's what I'm going to tell you. You work harder than anybody that I see in the social space. Everybody wants to talk about doing the work, coaching, whatever. Like you're actually doing, I'm seeing it. He goes like, like, bro, like sometimes your work ethic makes me feel like, like I'm lacking in that department.

I was like, well, I appreciate that because I don't see it that way. And to your point, I go, I'm not doing enough, Stephen. And I have that very unhealthy

attachment to the specific subject. You know, am I doing enough? Like, I can look back and I, my agenda can be full from, you know, 9 a.m.

to 5 p.m. And I'll be eating dinner. I'm like, I, thinking, I didn't do enough. you know so that's that's something that I struggle with me that's really good too that's that's the athlete that's the dog in us man it's it's it's it's what's gotten us to where we are and I think

what I've come to believe is there's a next level of you know I think it was uh Jordan Peterson or somebody shared this right and it's like you want to be a dangerous man but be at a control it and I want to be dangerous in the sense of I'm so highly competitive that I will show up and I will not quit in a workout. Like I'm sure you're like this. Yesterday I was in the middle of a workout. And I use as an example because I like workouts because they test me mentally. So I know when I get in a battle in business or sales or negotiation or a difficult conversation,

I know that I'm not a quitter because in that workout yesterday, I didn't want to pick the bar back up. I was exhausted. I was literally to the point of failure. I remember telling myself, okay, shake it out, walk over, count to three, pick up the bar and go. Magically, I get five more reps, right? And it's like there's times that you just need to tell yourself, okay, this is what we're doing.

We're going to go here and to be able to tame that and kind of ride the edge, so to speak, of I'm not going to go so far as people like, oh, you're just working so hard. You're going to burn out, blah, blah, blah. No, like I actually thrive on the fact that I like to do more. I like to create wins. I like to create success. That's how I refuel my tank. And you're like that.

Like, that's how athletes are wired. it's then really figuring out strategically, where do I replenish that and get the energy back? Is there certain areas of my day I started to write down? I'm losing energy during this part of the day because of these conversations or these people or these activities. Either eliminate it, automated, or delegate it out. Right?

Pretty simple. It's a basic clocking and tackling. Bro, I love that. First of all, I want to acknowledge that, right? It's like everybody's going to have an energy, at certain points of the day. Until you said that, I didn't even think of that, right? So thank you is, you know, I would have the middle of the day, lull, like right around

230, like I'll be like, boom, I'm done. And I'm thinking, is it my nutrition? Is it, you know, did I not have enough caffeine? I need to look at what happened before that drain. What was I doing? What was, what kind of conversations was I having with what kind of people? Oh my God, thank you. You know, I do.

That's, that's, you're incredible, dude. I absolutely love you. And it's when you were talking about in the gym, it's, it, I immediately went to my thought process this morning. And I'm, and I'm sure that that you have felt this way and you don't have to share it if you don't want to. But this morning, I realize this. I'm not mentally strong enough right now. I got to sharpen my sword again. I was like, that is where everything is coming from right now.

I'm not mentally tough in this moment right here, whether it was because of the last week, whatever it is, it's like, okay, way to acknowledge it. And I think a lot of coaches and like a lot of people in our space, influencers, whatever we're called is nobody wants to admit they're not mentally tough. Yeah. Right.

It's like, listen, you could be mentally tough one moment and the next moment, it's gone. Right? So I realized, dude, and the gym will do that to you, Brian. The gym will do that. It'll tell you where you're at. And I was like, dang it, man, Sean, you know better than this.

Game on. Okay, here we go. Pony up. So now, now we go. So I don't know if you've ever felt that way. Yeah, a lot. And as you're saying that, I was thinking about this, is it kind of goes back to that standards over feelings when when I'm still, as I say,

it's one thing to know it. It's another thing to kind of own it. And I've had that conversation with myself about standards over feelings. And I'll tell you, the time this year that I thought about right away, I don't know why it came to mind, when the market shifted after Q1, rates jump up 100 basis points, another 100 basis points. I realized, dude, I got soft the last couple years on some things. I got soft on my prospecting. I got soft on some of the blocking and tackling of sales and marketing.

I got soft on some of my routines that I needed to have around our team and specifically there. And I remember going, I was actually talking my 15-year-old daughter, right? My birthday was coming up in August. I'll never forget towards the end of May. I was like, you know what? What's the one thing I don't like doing? And my fitness was on point and all that. I like a good challenge.

I think a good challenge for a period of time, 30, 60, 90 days, 75 hard, for example, all of those shorter sprints. And I remember my daughter and our talking. I was like, hey, you know what? My birthday's coming up. I'll be 45. And I'll, you know, I should probably run like, I don't know. I'll run like 50 miles.

By the way, I don't like running anymore. Like being a soccer player, I ran enough. Yeah. I don't want to run anymore. Yeah. A thousand miles a game. Oh my gosh. So I like CrossFit type activities, lifting some weights, doing that.

So if you know anything about like, if you follow my stuff, that's what I would prefer. But what was going to test me? And I realized I wasn't mentally strong. So I went to what sucks? What do I know? not like to do what will challenge me and push me immediately outside of what I know is comfortable because I can go show up to a workout today it will test me it will push me I'll have a good workout but is it really challenging me making me mentally stronger so I went on the journey

end up actually doing over 125 miles in two months running which by the way I haven't run 125 miles in the last 10 years probably combined beautiful stupid goal crazy ridiculous at first it was going to be 100. And my daughter's like, well, you might as well just do 120 or whatever. I was like, okay, let's go for it. So I share that with you because there's something in your life today you're probably avoiding. And the other side of that temporary pain, that temporary discomfort, I like working out

because it's a very quick turn signal indicator feedback. If I can suck it up during that, guess what? The rest of my day, I've voted, my confidence is high, and I can say to myself, with certainty and confidence, Brian, you're the type of person that shows up and you meet a challenge right in the ring in the middle of battle. Go do it. Get it this morning. You're ready. That's it. Like, don't overcomplicate that stuff. It's funny because, like, you're sitting there, like, and you're, it's like we're, like,

speaking, like, telepathically speaking, you know, and like, you're in my, you're in my head is, you know, I was sitting there in the gym. I was like, okay, you're not, you're not men'sly tough. So what's that mean? You need to work on it. And then I sat there and I just go, oh my God, no, I don't want to. It scares me. And then 75 hard pop back in my mind. I'm like, all right, dude, you got to do it again, man. It sucks. I don't like doing it. You know, the first time I did it, I loved it because it was new. Now I know what I'm getting into. The first time is the easiest. Like for people, I'm sorry. And people are probably going to send me a lot of hate messages off this one. That's okay.

We can talk about it, guys. We can work through this. The first time you do 75 hard is the single most easy time you will ever freaking do it because you're ignorant to what it is. The second time, the third time, it's a little different story. Now I'm going, okay, like, sticking to the gym, this is number four. This is number, this is day one and number four. And, you know, the trick this time is, you know, to do it differently, to do it better

than I did it the last time. And when I do this, like the first time I did 75 hard, my business blew up. You know, I went into medical business. People don't know this. I went into medical sales two weeks before the pandemic. I had never been in an OR. And my training got canceled.

And so I was like, well, I see I'm fat and I don't know if I'm going to live. I don't know what COVID is. Right? So I was like, I got to do something. I got to buy into a program. I got to spend some money. I got to figure this out. Then I'm scrolling.

And then I see something with 75 hard. I'm like, this is a guy that I followed, you know, for years. And I'm like, all right, cool. Like, if he's going to put this out there, I'm going to try it. And, dude, I, I sword. Like, I literally, you know, over quota, had no business, you know, achieving that, right? Because I was brand new, no real training. and, you know, here we are, you know, so I know what I need to do.

And when you said it, it's just like, thanks God for confirming that. Appreciate you. I knew I shouldn't have this guy on my show. You know, it is that we started the conversation. Remember back about we're a lot more alike and the longer we actually spend time with people and engage in quality conversations like this, it's like a mirror. It's like a reflection. These are the moments in time, though, that we have a decision to make.

This is where champions are made. You know this being a great athlete. This is the gap I talk about often is the greatest thing I'm working on right now that I coach with our team and mortgage and our real estate partners is we all know there's, I believe we all have this intuition of I need to go do this. I have this sign or something in my life ago. I need to go do that. The difference between champions and those that are just this kind of average is the amount

of time between when they know they need to do something and they go take action. Like the average, Brian, we'll wait a couple days. Hey, you know what? This whole like New Year's resolution is going to be coming up soon for people. I'm going to wait till January 1. That's horseshit, guys. I'm sorry to stay that way. Come on. You're going to wait for this. Now we're going to wait for that. Like, no, and I remember, so I'll give you great example. When I was talking about the running, what did I do? That very same day where I recognized I was ready for the challenge and there was a new version of Brian. It wasn't the Brian of years ago. Put on some running shoes and I went and did a three mile run. And by the way,

I probably walked five or six times. I couldn't even run three miles. So what? I had a starting point. Are you willing to get in the game and suck at it and do the work? Well, guess what? After a while, Sean, I'll just share this for people's. After those two months, I could run six miles. I got to seven miles with one stop midway. I'm not a great athlete. I'm not running fast. I'm not bragging about that. I'm just saying mentally we can do things. We put our mind to it.

And imagine in 60 days if I could learn to do that and I didn't like it. What could you do in your business and your life and your marriage and your finances and your faith? Like, where do you need to grow? Yeah. I love it, man. And it's like you said, it's the difference between people and the time span of when they take action. Like I know for myself. It's like, well, you know what?

It's Wednesday. Let's start this off on a Monday. Like, what's it matter? What is, what is the day really even matter? Raib, you know you need to do something out there. And you're listening to this. You know, we're about 40 minutes in. So if you guys checked out by now, it's sorry for you.

Is, you know, let's be real. Come on. Like, taking that action right away is going to dictate whether you're successful or not. And it's going to say a whole lot about you. Are you real? or are you full of shit? And we've all been full of shit. So, like, I'm calling myself out.

I've been making a lot of excuses in my mind of, you know, over the last, you know, four or five months not to do 75 again. Oh, you know what to do. You're fine, man. You know, dude, just clean up your nutrition, bro. Go get your workout and do a nice cardio, light cardio afterwards.

No, I'm, that's not where I thrive. I get caught up on all these things. People telling me like, hey, be careful. You'll deplete your muscle. Fuck, whatever. Whatever. Take your anabolic window in your muscle deterioration and shove it up your ass.

Like, it's time to roll, right? And then just just watch. So it's just, you know, the cost of inaction is, is way more. Yeah. Than actually doing it. Than the cost of admission, I guess you know.

I love it. Conversation with somebody the other day and we were talking about this is very similar what we were just talking about. What came out of that, though, is a lesson I'll share with everybody is what I recognize with them,

and this happens to me too, is I was not giving myself permission. And this person was not giving themselves permission to go become the person they wanted to be. He told me all the reasons why I don't have time for this. Oh, I can't do that. Oh, I've got to go do that. You know, great example.

I'll just use this one real life. Like my kids play sports. They do soccer. I remember last year I was struggling to get some of my workouts in and I wanted to challenge myself and do two workouts a day. Well, as they're at practice, I'm not the coach at their practices most of the time.

there's a track around the soccer field. I decided, you know what? I'm going to grab a couple dads. We started to walk. We started to jog. Started do some push-ups, air squats. So you're doing an extra workout while you're there. And there's no excuses, right?

The other day I had someone asking about this. I don't have a lot of time to do this. And I said, hey, I'll give you a challenge, bro. I'll give you a challenge right now. Why don't you do 100 burpees against me for time? We'll send our times to each other. Well, here's a deal. You need to be under 10 minutes to do that.

One, you can do that. we're going to work on getting your time down. You have something to compete against. You're telling me 100 burpees in less than 10 minutes, you don't have time. You don't have a life. Like, if you don't have 10 minutes for yourself, you go do something,

you're saying, oh, I don't have time to go get a workout. I need 30 minutes. I need an hour. No, no. If that's where you are today, instead of cheating yourself of doing what you said you would do, I've gone to that workout. I hate it, but I love it.

Because it's simple. It requires no. No equipment. Yeah. Nothing at all except me to say, I'm on a clock, set your phone, turn on some music if you need it, drown out the pain and go. You versus you, baby. And that's the thing. It's like if you're worried about time, if you're worried about time in your day because you have newsflash for people that are listening, we both have very successful careers.

We're both coaches. We're both podcast hosts. We are both authors. We both have a wife. We both have three children. Dude, you have the same amount of 24 hours that we do. Here's the difference. The prioritizing.

So for me, in a normal day, I collapse time. I will work out when my kids are sleeping. I will wake up at 4 a.m. Everybody thinks I'm crazy and I'll be in the gym by 4.30. Nah, man, it's just because, like, I don't want to take time away from cooking my kids' breakfast. I don't want to take time from packing their lunch. I don't want to take time from seeing their faces in the morning. That's selfish.

right so for me i'm just like okay i'm gonna do it up 4 30 in the morning and then if i can get one of the midday cool if not when they go to bed i'm gonna go out and i'm wrong create the time you know i mean i just listen man we got to land the plane here i've i've really enjoyed this brian i mean like look dude i can probably do a jo rogan style with you and go for three freaking hours if i if i needed to and it would be amazing um but i you know a couple more questions man uh they're very, very simple. I want to ask you, how can my audience best support you? You know, this is a journey we're all on together. And what I have found is like-minded people, if something resonated with you today and you're like, dude, I love that. The easiest way is

just connect up on social with me and let me know something resonated with you, something you liked, something that has touched you or helped you improve your life. For me, that's fuel. I I love that, and that's something that inspires me to then know, okay, if this landed, let's go do more of that to help more people. And so drop me a message, engage in the content. That will then be a nice trigger for me to know who you are. Let me support your journey as you go through. So that's all I'd ask is, look, in this world, I think we're in this together,

and our experiences can help other people. Like I shared earlier, I really believe this, that God is uniquely gifted us all with experiences and certain talents that and skills we've worked on, right? They may have been given to us here, but we've worked on them for years. And if I can help and serve other people, I think that's why we're here on this earth. Guys, listen, I love it because most people want to ask that question,

it's go by my book, you know, check out my course. This gentleman right here has plenty to sell you, okay? And he talked about just engage, just show him that, you know, what he's doing, made an impact on you. So I appreciate you for that. So here's what I'll say, guys, if you're looking to buy a home, if you're looking for a refinance, you need to go to Loan Depot. All right. You need to check out my boy, Brian Covey, go to his website. It's going to be linked to his name. When you click on the show notes, it's going to take you right to his site.

See what he's got going on. This guy's incredible. Most importantly, man, what can I, what can I do to best support you? You have done it today. You know what I love about these is a lot of times because we both do the other sides of this, right? Where you're a host and then you're a guest and all that, what I find for people is, you know, my journey over two years ago, gosh, two and a half years ago, almost three years, starting the show was really to bring value to people. I never knew there would be this whole other world opened up to meet amazing people like yourself, but you realize you're not alone in the journey. Some people are wired a little different like we are. And when you surround yourself with those people, you did it. You got me to think. You got me to move emotionally.

you got me to think about some stories and people in my life that made an impact on me that I'm thinking I'm going to reach out to them later and say hey I was able to share that moment what you taught me dude that's it and then just making a collective impact together one of my friends another Brian shares that all the time is like when when people come together that are like-minded and have a big vision of how we can change the world things happen and so you're doing that I appreciate it man uh listen guys um you heard my boy take a peek out of stuff, make an impact on the world. If you got anything out of the show today, do me a couple of favors.

One, share it to your platform and tag me and Brian will share it back to our social, right? That's what we do. And the other thing is, is like, like and subscribe to this channel, to this podcast, you know, and leave a review, right? I thrive on it. I want to hear your feedback. For those of you that do listen to my show and try to contact me on Instagram, you know you get a response for me every single time. So with that being said, guys, I love y'all,

and stay tuned for some more great shows. Take care. Rinse takes your laundry and hand delivers it to your door, expertly cleaned and folded, so you could take the time once spent folding and sorting and waiting to finally pursue a whole new version of you, like T-time U. Or this T-Time you,

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