Determined Society with Shawn French | Adversity & Mindset - Embracing Grace and Self-Compassion: The Power of Affirmations and Identity wth Matthew Headden

Episode Date: May 2, 2024

In this conversation, Shawn French and Matthew Headden discuss Shawn's progress in his fitness journey and the importance of making consistent, healthy choices. They explore topics such as the mindset around food and the concept of earning indulgences. They also touch on the significance of grace and self-compassion in the process of self-improvement. The conversation emphasizes the need for balance and moderation in nutrition and exercise, as well as the importance of setting up triggers for positive habits. In this conversation, Shawn and Matthew discuss the importance of creating triggers and reminders to stay on track with healthy habits. They explore the idea of using small physical actions, such as push-ups or squats, as triggers for certain behaviors. They also discuss the power of reciting affirmations and reminding oneself of their identity and values. They talk about integrating healthier food choices, such as sweet potatoes, into their diets and finding ways to make it enjoyable and a family activity. They emphasize the importance of focusing on non-scale victories and the overall journey rather than just the outcome. They also express gratitude for each other's support and encouragement. Key Conversation Points Making consistent, healthy choices leads to improved physical and mental well-being. The mindset around food should shift from earning indulgences to enjoying them in moderation. Practicing grace and self-compassion is essential for personal growth and self-improvement. Setting up triggers and backup plans can help maintain healthy habits while facing roadblocks or challenges. Creating triggers and reminders can help us stay on track with healthy habits. Reciting affirmations and reminding ourselves of our identity and values can be powerful motivators. Integrating healthier food choices can be made enjoyable and a family activity. Focusing on non-scale victories and the overall journey is more important than just the outcome. Expressing gratitude for support and encouragement is important in maintaining motivation. Key Sound bites "There is food and joy in our drink, we're commanded to do that." "You deserve to fuel your body with whole foods." "The answer is love." "If I put my bag down, then I do five push-ups. If I put my clothes away, then I do five body-weight squats." "What would this version of me look like, even though I don't feel like him right now?" "What if we chopped up sweet potatoes, did them in the air fryer, now you're all eating sweet potatoes together."   Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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Just know I'm a go for mine because I earned it. They watch and I know it's time. I confirmed it. A whole society determined. What is up, everybody? I am your host, Sean French. And we are back and we have something special today. My buddy, Matthew Haddon, is here with me.

He is my nutritionist and he is my online strength coach. And he's doing so many amazing things to help me get back to fit in my journey, in my body, in my mind and even spiritually. importantly. And what I thought I wanted to do is share this journey with you. We've been doing Instagram lives and it's been going really cool, getting a lot of cool engagement and, you know, helping people. But I thought it would just be really cool if I created a segment. And so every week, you're going to be listening to my boy Matthew putting me through a live coaching call. So with that being said, I hope you guys enjoyed. If this inspires you, continue to turn in, tune in and,

you know, quite frankly, share it with people and bring them to these segments because we're out here to make an impact. And so without further ado, Matthew, welcome to the show. What's up, brother? And I do what an honor. It is not only just to work with you and then the other clients that I have the honor of helping, but to hopefully give some insight and feedback, because there's so many people out there struggling with their health, with their fitness, with their weight, with their confidence. And if this could help at least one person, brother, you know that's everything to me. So let's do it.

Dude, I love it, man. Thanks, man. Thank God I've had a good week for those you that are listening. So this might not be too painful. But go ahead, man. Let's roll. Do it, man. So as you know, each week for those of you, since you all haven't heard this before.

Each week, I like to check in with my clients and ask them a series of questions. I have a little their data for the week. But the first one is this. What did you do well this week, brother? Oh, like literally everything. Like literally everything. Follow the script to the T, the playbook, man. Like I like the one thing for me that the, okay, so I had a business meeting on Monday night.

And this is what really caught my eye, dude. Like I felt really good about this and it was something that I've never done before. And what I thought was going to be a two hour meeting turned into my new business partners, which I can't announce yet, you know, but I can't tell everybody. But is, oh, no, you're not going home. You're going to hang out and we're going to get to know each other better. And, you know, we're going to have some fun. And so we went out to this awesome dinner.

And brother, I didn't eat any of the crap. I had my blackened Corvina and a little bit of the quinole that was on my plate. And then I went back to the room. I had a diet Pepsi and some water and I went to sleep. And so for me, that's what I did really well this week. And what it did, man, is it helped me make decisions the next day and the next day because the one thing that I think everybody can appreciate is like when you go out of town, it's like, fuck, bro, all bets are off, right?

Like, you know, okay, I'm at this restaurant. It's just one meal. But then what tends to happen is the next day you wake up and the bad decision or the decision you made out of alignment of your goal the night before goes into your next big decision. So for me, man, it was just like, I felt really good about that, man. I'm like still geeked up on it. And it's really paved the way for a really good week for me.

I love that, man. And there's several things to look at, right? In the past, we. And you went out to eat, right? It's a special occasions. It's a business meeting. It's a thing to celebrate. So we treat each one of those as such.

Every time we go out to eat from your past, it was, you know, you would say, well, this is a special occasion. So I'm going to eat this. I'm going to do what I want. I'm going to maybe have a drink, whatever it may be. This time you didn't. And yet it feels like more of a celebration. And it's one thing that so many people struggle with. And we'll do this a little bit differently than we would if we were.

just doing our weekly check-in, but so many people struggle because it's going out to eat, and there's a business meeting here, and there's a business meeting there, and there's a work trip here and a work trip there's a trip there's a trip. Like, if you do it all the time, if you're going out to eat all the time, if you're at a business meeting eating out all the time,

it's no longer a special occasion. It's a lifestyle. Yeah. And you realize, to your point. Go ahead. Sorry, yeah, to your point, man, like it does feel more like a celebration, right? Because it was me staying true to what I wanted to do. And I also want to clarify something to do.

Like, let's keep it like normal. Like to just keep it like, keep it how we normally do things because I want them to get the flow for our conversations. You know what I mean? Yeah. This is a coaching goal. Right. Right. You're right.

I want them to know what you're all about, right? Yeah. So that's what you do well. And normally it's what are you proud of yourself for? So I know you're proud of yourself for taking those foods and sticking to what you said, but why does that make you so proud? Like, why does waking up and doing your workouts like you did every day you said you were going to do it, even though you had to move one day, making up or choosing those foods, not having the drinks, and then having a great breakfast the next morning too. why does that make you so proud of yourself and how is that helping you man i just think that

when i i'm going to put this when i fall through with what i say i'm going to do i'm a better father i'm a better husband and i'm a better businessman and i have i guess more patience and less anxiety and so for me like that's why it's important man because the moment i I started taking control of those decisions. And I want you to be clear, bro, like, I am not losing vigilance. Like, I am still, like, I know exactly, I can tell you right now what I exactly have left for the rest of the day. I have 893 calories and 58 grams of protein left.

And I know I have baseball. Okay. So I know my wife's going to want to go somewhere to eat. So I'm working in my mind. Okay, if we go to the Mexican restaurant, hey, can I get some yellow rice? I know probably only to eat a quarter of it. And I know, hey, the chicken, like literally. don't cook it in anything.

Like, I'm already starting to think of ways that I can still go and have a meal with my family, but not ruin my deficit, right? So I, dude, I just think that it's just, it's awareness, man. So the vigilance is important. Like the moment I take my eye off of what might could happen if I slip, is when I get weak, right? And I just think that I'm never going to be a hundred percent clean diet. Right now I am.

Right. But like, I don't know. In a month, I might want a piece of cake. I'm going to eat a piece of cake. But I want it to be earned, not just because I want it. Let's look at that, right? So we don't want to become, I don't want you to become so like over the top where it's like, okay, I can't have this.

I can't have this. I can't have this. I can't have that because you know, right? Like there is one way to lose fat and that is to achieve a caloric deficit, right? Despite all the other noise that's out there on the internet. But we want you to be strong, happy and healthy, right? All of those together. Because if you're miserable on the way to your fat loss,

then you can't be strong, happy, and healthy if you're miserable on the way. And you'll never stick to it if you're miserable. So, yeah, we're enjoying our family. We're enjoying what's truly important because that is a big priority with this. priority being the strong, happy, healthy version of you is supporting those other priorities, your business, your family, your faith, all of those things. So it's like, how can that look? Even a little simple swap, like, if I'm going to have the chips, then I don't get the margarita, right? If I don't get the margarita, then I can have the chips. Like, those little simple swaps

are like, hey, cook this without the oil and the butter, right? Just like you said, and that's powerful. How do we integrate, you're integrating the fitness into your life, not the other way around before you were trying to fit everything around fitness and that's not your number one priority it's to support your other priorities. So I applaud you in like yeah. Thank you.

And man, look at the anxiety thing for a second. Right? Like why do you think your anxiety is going down and it's because you're doing what you say you're going to do? An anxiety like we think anxiety is a bad thing. It's not a bad thing. It's just your brain telling you something needs to change that prolonged anxiety is bad because your brain's

telling you something needs to change and you're not changing so now the anxiety is going down because you're doing what you said you were going to do and you're doing what you know need need to do so naturally anxiety goes cool we're doing the right thing now we changed it like how cool is that I think it's awesome but I think the other thing I think the other thing that's happening too man is there's if you look at my logs my food logs there's a lot less processed food there's a lot less processed food in there so i'm getting a lot more carbohydrates from you know berries or bananas or something like that and i think of like dave's killer bread now with a little bit of butter as a nice little you know reward in the morning but not something i do every day right like today i got

home from the gym, I'm like, okay, I'm going to have a, like a big tub of yogurt that's high protein and a banana. I'm good. Taste good, right? And then I move on from it. And then, you know, it's just, so just it, it, like, yeah, man, I think there's a bunch of reasons why the anxiety is decreasing. I think another big thing is I'm implementing the running again, the walking and all that

kind of stuff. So I'm constantly moving around. Yeah. in that workout that I told you was going to be a nice little simple thing on the yoga mat that you're like, I hate your gut, right? Dude, that was brutal, man. Well, look at this too, man, because, you know, when we look at the biblical principle of this, right, we are supposed to find food enjoying our drinks.

So I want you to have the cake. I want you to have those things because that's what life looks like. Like, if you go to like a birthday celebration for your son and you don't have cake because there's guilt or shame or because you want to lose an extra pound, like you're missing the dad-gum point. But now you're getting it, right? Which is there is food and joy in our drink. We're commanded to do that. But without that side of there's guilt and shame,

then that's not joy any longer. Yeah. So we don't earn our food, right? But we just, what about this perspective? It's like you don't have to earn it. But you do deserve to fuel your body with whole foods, with those fruits, with those vegetables, and we meet and then in moderation we have those other things.

So would it help you if we shifted it from I have to earn. It's like, no, you deserve to do this. And then you'll feel better. Then you'll get more energy. Then you'll lose the fat. Yeah, bro. That one's a tough one for me. Right.

That one's a tough one for me. And I'm not saying no that I cannot commit to that. But what I'm saying is, and this is why I'm so glad we're doing this on the show now because more people get to listen to it. Right. Like we all have these old programs, right? like why am I going to eat the piece of cake if I'm still 224 pounds? Like what's the freaking point?

Now I'm over my calories for the day. Like that that doesn't serve what I want to do, but also just maybe that perspective shifting like, you know what, I'm going to have a small piece of cake ties me over to a point where I don't fall off completely. So long term, yeah, I may have been, I may have not had that calorie deficit that day. but the next day I wake up, energized, I'm in the gym on a Saturday at 7, I do my walk, I do my lift, and then I hop in the sauna, and now I'm dad for the rest of the day. There it is.

That's the thing. That's what strong, healthy, and empty looks like. So that mentality that you had before is served you at some point, right? But where did it come from? Like, that's going to be part of your homework this week. Next time you feel that way, that you feel like, man, I have to earn this or whatever, write down where that came from. Like, dig into it.

Like, just figure that out and say, okay, is that still serving me and the man that I want to become, the person that I want to become? And is that serving the life that I want to live for the rest of my life? Wow. Because could that actually be what got us, part of what got us to where we are now in the first place? Yeah, I can see that. that, right? But then the other thing, the other layer to it, dude, is like, shoot, man, I don't want my daughters thinking they have to earn something because I don't want to create

that body dysmorphia in them, nor my son. My son isn't, you know, absent from this, or I guess you would say, completely safeguarded, right? They're all learning from me. But, you know, yeah, man. I just think that I know where it came from, but I want to write it out. Okay. We could talk about that, you know, part next week. So you guys get to, you know, you hear I have homework. And so if I don't do it, you guys can kick me in the ass over DMs, whatever. But, but yeah, man, I just think that, you know, looking at it long term, right, is, special because what I've been most scared of, brother, and I tell you straight up is like when I So I have to earn it is because I haven't trusted myself.

I haven't trusted myself to have that small piece and then not turn into another walk to the pantry. Or like the next day have all the pancakes and maybe a donut, right? So maturing through this and growing through it is like, okay, well, when you enjoy a piece of cake, well, cool. It's an isolated situation. Then tomorrow you wake up and you do what you're what you're good. going to do, right? You do what you said you're going to do. And so in the past, I haven't been confident or trusted myself in that. You didn't understandable. Very understandable. And I think so many of us struggle with that. I know you struggle with that. And that's a hurdle, just a roadblock.

What if we shifted? This is another way to build proof in yourself and to also teach your children how to eat in moderation because there's going to be times I know you're not like, you're just like, man, I don't have the willpower or the dedication in myself. We all feel that way. And yeah, power is fleeting. With that said, when you feel that way, do you think it would help you to say, you know what, I do want to show my kids that this is part of the healthy lifestyle to be able to enjoy the cake, but not to binge on it?

So then you're leading by example. So what if you use that? Like, I deserve to show my kids what this looks like, right? In the same way that when you're saying, okay, kids, I'm not eating this meal because that's bad for me, right? I'm eating this salmon because it has healthy fats that are going to help my brain and my body function properly. It has protein to help me be big and strong and recover, right? And I'm going to eat this rice or this quinoa or this sweet potato because it's going to give my body the nutrients and the energy that it needs.

I'm going to eat these vegetables because it's going to make my gut work better and help my body be healthy and strong and fight off getting sick. And then, you know, look, I am going to have a little piece of cake. because I want to enjoy this with you guys, but I'm only going to do it every now and again in moderation, because if I eat it too much, then I probably won't feel very good. If you phrase it in the same way that we might explain that to our children, do you think that might help you as well?

Absolutely, man. And it's funny because you were talking about, you know, my children and, you know, the binging, and I know you didn't mean to imply this, but I wanted to clarify for everybody here. And this is something that I think can resonate with people. I think. I don't know. If not, whatever. But for me, my children have never seen me binge. Never. So, like, when we get pizza, it'll be like two pieces of pizza.

We have cake. It would be one piece of cake. But when those jokers would go to bed, that's when the Gremlin would come out, bro. It's just like, all right, cool. Another piece of cake. Maybe I'm going to go get, you know, two more pieces of pizza because I can't eat like this tomorrow. So I'm going to eat all of it tonight. Right? And then tomorrow I'm going to start over and it's going to be fine. And it never really was because I woke up the next day. And I was sick.

Like physically, like my insides hurt. I had a headache. My neck was tight. Body didn't feel right. I mean, now I wake up. I'm tired. Dude, I'm not going to lie. I mean, the last two days I woke up, I was tired.

But like, I'm like, okay. Like, it's a 20 minute driving out of the new gym. So I'm sure I'll wake up. I got pre-workout. So let's wake up. Right. And it's just a little bit more, I guess, manageable because of the types of foods I'm eating and what I'm excluding right now from my nutrition. But if we look at that, right, what are we excluding? It's instead of still often people struggle with it, I know you have.

So it's, well, what can't I have? No, what can I include more of that's going to make me want these things less than this perspective too, right? you're doing this because you love your family because you love what you do with your work, right? And this will help you be a better, more present father, a better, more present husband. This will help you function better and more energetically and show like the more authentic real version of you with your business and your work, right? So then when we shift that over and you go to get that because you will have the urge,

right? It's going to happen. When that third piece of pizza, the fourth piece of pizza, just ask yourself, Do you think it would help to say, is this acting out of love for myself? Right? Because I won't care what the question is the answer is lot, right? Like, and if people will say, well, you deserve to have that, don't know, you deserve to have that slice of pizza. Well, right now that doesn't feel very loving to myself.

And let's use this thing, right? Did you know that Girl Scout cookies outsell Oreos in the. the three months the Girl Scout cookies are out, they outsell Oreos for the entire year. I can believe it. They're good. But why? Because when they're limited, they're only a small window, I believe two and a half, three months. So when they come out, people binge them. Is that any different? And when you say, I can't have pizza, then you binge it because you think it's off limits or you're not going to be able to have it again. And he just the thing, dude, if you had a slice of pizza, does it say it's 400 calories

and you have 2,300 to eat today, you can have one every single day. If the rest of your diet was full of nutritious foods and lower calorie nutrient-dense foods, you would still have 1,800 calorie or the nutritious foods to play with. Yeah, yeah. So might that not be the best option? No. But does it take a little bit of that dishes off limits? Because it's not.

Well, I just think it, you know, it takes away the demonization of it, right? And so, like, as we know, when we tell someone don't do something, we don't do something, we're going to go do it, right? Like, there's a big temptation to go do it. So if it's something that's, you know, you don't look at things as like, okay, that's an evil food, you know, then, hey, you know, it shifts the perspective for sure. Yeah, dude, like, there's not cheating on your diet, man. And the only way for you to cheat on your diet is for you to like eat a piece of pizza or an acclare in bed naked with a woman that's not your wife.

That's literally in my book the only way to cheat on your die. You're free. That's a problem. That's a problem. That's a problem. We got a whole lot of problems. Right. But like it's amazing, right?

Like what we're working on like I want you this word is grace. Yeah. There's grace. It's like, why is it? Like, God can consistently show you grace and love, but then you struggle to give yourself grace and love when your creator can do it so freely. I think that's a good lesson for everybody right now, right? I think everybody rewind that part and go listen to it.

And again, this is what we believe, right? This is what we believe. And, you know, I think everybody should believe in something. For us, it's Christ. Other people, it's the universe. other people, it's, you know, other things. But for us, we're Christ followers. And sometimes my language doesn't suggest that.

And I'm sorry, guys, but I am human and I am flawed. And, but my language is getting better. But I grew up in a baseball dugout, all right? So leave me alone. But, but, you know, yeah, I mean, like, that's the thing, guys. Like we have, in order for us to be the best versions of ourselves, right? And for me to be the best version of myself. And this is kind of where, you know, this journey with you, Matt,

is so beneficial for me because it is really working on that G word, grace. It's because something I just traditionally haven't given that to myself because it wasn't raised around that word. I don't, you know, I was never given grace. So. Yeah, and that can go into a whole other lesson, right? And a whole other talk, like where people struggle with it because they've never been

given it. Why they struggle with trust, like if they have our. faith. Like understanding that God loves us no matter what because they were never loved no matter what, that their love was based upon performance. Ours is not. Ours is not, bro. And so, like, I just think that that's so powerful.

So let's move forward from there. Roadblocks did you encounter or can you foresee coming over the next week? Because life's getting crazy. Oh, man. there were not roadblocks this week other than the travel coming back on Tuesday and then needing wanting to be present for my family. So I moved the workout. So I think that, you know, that's the potential roadblock is when I travel is, okay, need to make sure there's a gym around. If not, what kind of body weight stuff can we do?

What can I do to try to train other energy systems like you said while I'm on the road? whether it's an interval run or something like that or, you know, an elevated incline walk, whatever, there just has to be a plan. And I think that that's the opportunity, not to shut it down because I'm on the road, but to like, okay, well, how can I bring it with me? Right. So I'm going to give you a few quick tools and a few quick questions. You know me.

So number one is going to be obviously you have backup workouts. right? You have quick 15 and 20 minute workouts in there. You have your body weight workouts. So no matter where you are, you always have something. So I'm going to give you another one. You know I love this, cue craving response or reward if this, then that. Okay. So do you think you would help you to set up triggers instead of a bad way to set up good ones? Where for instance, if I check into a hotel and if I put my bag down, then I do five pushups. If I put my clothes away, then I do five body re squats. Not that those are going to do anything physically,

but do you think that they would help serve you mentally to remind you that you're not on vacation? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's a good point. And it's funny because yesterday, one of my partners called me and, you know, I used one of yours. He's like, what are you doing?

I was like, well, I'm walking. I was like, my buddy always says, if he talks, then he walks. And so we're talking. And I still have 4,000 steps to get in. So I'm walking. And I walked around the neighborhood for, you know, 15, 20 minutes. And then I got back and I looked.

I'm like, oh, gosh, I'm closer than I thought I was. And I was already over my count, right? So, yeah, the triggers are something that I've been thinking about. I love yours. I don't want to take yours completely. I want to work my own. But like, but yeah, do those triggers. Like when you check in, you know, 10 pushups, you know, put your clothes away, 10 body squats.

Like whatever, you know, whatever it is. that's pretty cool because it just also it also reminds you what your identity is like or like what you do this is something that you do no matter where you're at no matter what damn zip code you're in you're doing it so i like it there it is and it's creating that identity like we've worked on in previous sessions who is sean frick found fringe not somebody that's trying to get in shape that has an awesome show that's growing that is trying to be the best five he can like no from my understanding sean french is a loving father who loves helping and serving other people who is creating the determined society to do that who's also a strong happy healthy

christian man we align our actions with that so when you have that the decision fatigue do you think it would help you just to recite that and say okay what would this version of me look like even though i don't feel like him right now absolutely it helps and i've and i've used that lately, right? I've used it lately. You know, I didn't, I don't want to get out of bed today. I want to sleep, man. You know, you would be both. My sister lost in town. We went to bed late, like 11.

I don't want to wake up. No. No, I get it. Next question. How are you willing to improve this week over last week? What's your declaration for the week? More greens and more sweet potatoes. I don't watch. I don't think and I can see your face. You know, because that's what you're thinking.

Like, I'd like to see more of this. I know. Not really. It's your go, not mine. My job is to meet you where you are, not where I want you to be, bro. Like, I mean, greens are a good idea. I mean, I hate, I do not like broccoli.

Yeah, yeah. Well, how not that look? How might you integrate those? Would it be more? Yeah, I think that's pretty good. How might you integrate those? Let's be specific. What it be?

How might you integrate those easier, right? Reduce friction. Yeah, so I think for me, like for dinners, it would be the asparagus. Okay. And broccoli once in a while. I love rice, so that's hard for me to give up. But I also do like sweet potatoes. So I think that doing them in the Instapot,

the day before and then having like a day or two of them that I can just pick from would would would help me tremendously because I do that with the rice I just don't do that with the potatoes for some reason it's weird what if you so there's no need to give up rice what if you did this do you think it might be helpful because obviously to integrate this with your children do you think that they would enjoy sweet potato fries oh they love sweet potato fries but if we chopped up sweet potatoes did them in the air fire now you're all eating sweet potatoes together you know it's crazy. I thought the other day I was like, I'm not going to buy a sweet. I need to go buy an air fryer. I don't have one. I need to get one. That'd be great. That or just do them in the oven,

broil them in the oven, right? Now, not only are you integrating the sweet potatoes, but you're integrating them with them. So it's something fun you can do together. Maybe you and Mia can make them together. Now we've got quality time. Now you're raising them up in the way of the world. Now you're doing all of these things. Now it's not about fat loss. It's about how can I improve. Do you think that would help you integrate that? Instead of saying, I need to eat less rice, wait a minute, what if I can give my kids something that they enjoy and spend quality time and be healthier and feel better all at once? Well, I would massively consume sweet potato fries. It'd be great.

And especially if they're homemade, right? There is. Now, see the difference in your attitude right there? It's like, man, I need to do this, man, like versus, man. man, this is going to be fun. Like, this is, see the difference and shift there between, right? We hear people say it all the time. Like, well, I get to do this versus I have to.

That said so much it makes me want to like perform physical violent. But it's like, no, like, how can I integrate this? How can we make this fun? I hate a dude. Teamwork makes the dream work. Get out of my face. Like, it really isn't system's hardy bared at it. So, yeah, I feel you.

But it's a good thing. Okay. Eat more fries. You're welcome. Yeah. Thank you. Eat more fries. Now, what can I do?

Obviously, we have your new workout program in there. I'm going to monitor all the measurements, everything like that, and make any adjustments that I'll shoot them over. What can I do better to support you this week with any challenges you might have on me. You do great, man. I don't have any complaints. You're always there for me. We have the most amazing continued communication throughout every single day, and I love it. I think the only thing I need from you is the supplements for my blood work. Shoot those over today. I need to get those. Today is Friday. Today's check-in day. Today's the day. I'm going to shoot

over all suggestions, make any modification. So all of that is. is ready and I'll be sending it here at about two o'clock so that's when I send everybody's stuff so exciting yes so excited I'm not I'm not doing that I just nobody wants to hear that nobody wants to hear my voice track on the air like that right now by the way can I just throw this out there even though we didn't like talk about it because what we focus on is the habits and the things and the lifestyle changes and the modifications as a byproduct of those things and feeling better and all of that, I'm pretty sure your weight dropped like two pounds this week in the process.

Three, three pounds. I just wanted you to say it. I just wanted you to say it. So, isn't it cool? Yeah, we're not focusing on that, though, Monday. Like, we're not focused. Yeah. I mean, I do, like, from not even a, not even a full week, though.

That was only like four days. I know. I wanted you to say it. But it didn't it different? How we're not focusing on the fat. That's a byproduct of making these changes instead of the focus. Yeah. I mean, I'm like,

no, absolutely. And like, dude, like people don't realize three pounds can can be a good deal of weight, right? Like it doesn't, if you pick up a three pound weight,

you're like, okay, that's not much. But like, I don't know, man, my pants and my clothes, my shirts are fitting differently.

So, like, it could be one pound if my clothes are fit and differently, I'm happy. It's very interesting. So there's going to be weeks because anybody hasn't listened to this before. Like, I put you in maintenance at first to figure out where you were, where I needed to move your calories. And then also to establish habits to establish identity, like to do those things, right? It's hard to do all of that when you're trying to like focus on like a million things at once. But let's say this is, there's going to be.

be weeks where it's half a pound. Or let's say it's weeks where it's a pound or it doesn't move at all. That's where we're going to focus on the non-scale victories, like energy, like feeling better, like doing what you said. But think about this. Like, is that three pounds all fat? No. Let's say a pound of that is fat. Two pounds is water, two pounds is and whatever. If you, I'm going to leave you with this one for the week. Let's say next week, you look at the scale and it's you're down one pound. In the past, that would not have been enough. but that's focusing on the outcome, which we're not doing any. But it's also this.

If you gained a pound a week, would you be pretty pissed off? Massively mad, unless I was on a bulk. So then why would losing a pound a week not be enough? No, I just think that, no, I mean, I think it is. I mean, for me, as long as I'm moving towards where I need to be, right, I think that's the, that's the most important thing, man. Like, you know, for me, you know, today I was what, two. 224. And this is something too that I want people to realize, man, like a lot of people get

weirded out once they hit that 200 mark. Dude, at 215 pounds, I look like I'm 190. I want everybody to realize that. Like, everybody's body is different. If I get down to 180, I look like I haven't eaten a meal in seven years. I can't be 180 unless I have a massive amount more of muscle on me, out more of muscle. Sorry, guys, that was not even English. I don't know what the hell that was. But yeah, do you like, as long as I'm moving towards that 205, I'm happy. And what does that look like? So when just to forecast the future, when the scale doesn't move, right? What can we focus on? What does that look like? Does it look like showing up? It didn't move.

it didn't move in the wrong direction either. That's it. Cool. Am I still doing, am I still showing my son that even if she doesn't get the outcome, he wanted to keep going and keep trying? Am I showing, do I have more energy so that I can, because there's something you said that.

I'm going to hear this, okay? Because you told me to do, say whatever we would only say, even your wife sees a difference in how you're showing. on that has nothing to do with the scale weight it has everything to do with doing the daily things you say you're going to do reading a bible every day moving more eating whole foods like how powerful is that it's massively powerful man and you do we all we all want to make our partners happy man you know like we want to know that i mean nothing's more disappointing to me is when my family is disappointed in me so and you're showing up

That's where I'm at, man. You've showing up. You've been showing up for everybody else in the world, for the determined society, for your listeners, for your readers. And I'm just, it can feel selfish, right?

I know you've mentioned this to me before to take this time and show up for you, but it's not selfish. It's how you continue to show up for everybody and give back the way you do. Same bad time, same bad. on next week.

Yeah. Yeah. We might be able to pull off a Monday, but, but I'd like to pull it back to Monday if we can. But since it's Friday, we can't because we just did it. So, but, but, but,

all right, man, well, look, everybody, um, you know, this is just a glimpse and inside of kind of what Matthew and I talk

about daily and what I'm doing in my life. And I just want you guys to understand one thing. If you have, you know, tried to lose weight or get leaner, get stronger, whatever your journey is in fitness and in health. And you've had bad experiences with people because they've cut your calories and everything so low that you just are miserable and you're just, you hate everything around you. I really, I'm going to put Matthews link to, you know, all his socials here. Like, just connect with them. And if you ever so feel inclined, and again, I know this sounds like a promotion and it, and it freaking is.

Let me be very clear. I am promoting Matthew right now. So in this moment, this, this actual statement, go to him. If you feel so inclined ever to explore training, hit him up. It's not a fit. It's not a fit. But he's changing my perspective around things. And so I'm grateful for him.

And, you know, share this episode. or this coaching call, whatever the hell you want to call it, y'all with someone you love. And I hope it helps you out. So Matthew, love you. Thank you. Love you too. And you made me tear up on that. I didn't expect that at all.

You know me, man, I just want to help. And if I can say one last thing to everybody listening, you're worth making little small changes in children for yourself. It's not selfish. You're worth it. You're worth being a version of you that you were created to be. you're worth consistently showing up every day and being strong, happy, and healthy, you're worth it. I don't care. I understand that people may have told you you're not.

There may be proof to the contrary that you're not, whether it's some ex-husband or some teacher or some parent. I promise you you. I promise you. There it is, y'all. Well, listen, we will see you back here next week. And then, of course, do not forget to tune in to my regular scheduled Monday. Monday morning show. We're growing.

We're going to be doing some fun things. And y'all are going to like some things that are coming up down the pipeline very, very soon. It is here now. So I love you all. And I want you guys today to chase down your dreams and everything you want in your life with that sadistic determination. Peace. Shout French. What up?

One luck. I let the pain inspire me. I'm all and everything I'm doing. Up until it's done. I'm me for the entirety. Put it in no fatan. I'll be working. Just know I'm a go for mine because I earned it.

They watch and I know it's time. I confirmed it. A whole society determined.