Determined Society with Shawn French | Adversity & Mindset - Focus on Improvement and Trust the Process with David Fales

Episode Date: December 5, 2022

We have heard it before, but often need a reminder: Comparison is the root of unhappiness. With the prevalence of social media, it is so easy to get caught up in comparing our journey to someone else���s when we aren’t seeing the struggle it took to get them there. The world is craving more authenticity, and that is exactly what you will get from this conversation with David Fales. David Fales is a former NFL quarterback who played for the Chicago Bears for 7 years. After leaving his hometown of Salinas, CA, David went to play football at the University of Nevada and eventually made the difficult decision to leave the team and transfer schools. In this episode, David explains what his mindset was like in this transition and what he focused on to continue improving as a football player, eventually becoming drafted into the professional league. David gets honest about navigating life after football and transitioning to the business world. Through sharing his story, David encourages us to focus on what we can control, and choose one thing at a time to improve on. Through doing that, trust the process and know that if you put the time and reps in and do not settle for anything less, you will reach your goal. We all have limiting beliefs that can hold us back from reaching our potential, but it is important to learn to shut those out and realize the opportunities that lie ahead if we put in the work. Tune in for David’s story and inspiring insight. Key highlights: David’s background, his decision to leave his college football team, and his journey to the NFL The importance of focusing on one thing we can control and continue to improve in that area Being yourself and surrounding yourself with people that appreciate you for who you are What are the thoughts and beliefs you are telling yourself that are holding you back? The parallels between life and sports The comparison problem with social media  Knowing your goals and reverse engineering how to get there The power of networking and connecting with people The responsibility we have to be an example to our children and the next generation   Connect with David Fales: Instagram: @fales10 LinkedIn: David Fales Connect with Shawn French: Instagram: @theshawnfrench Website: theshawnfrench.com Facebook group: The Determined Society Twitter: @theshawnmfrench YouTube: The Shawn French Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

If you don't truly love the process, like, I don't care what it is. You can want that macro result of being on top of the mountain, but if you don't like all this shit underneath the ugly water, the mud, the blood, the sweat, just the adversity, it's never going to come to fruition. If you haven't developed the skill of, like, getting really good at something to a high level and understanding that it takes time, and then honestly, like, I enjoy that. Like, I like the process. It's very similar to, like, how I got really good at football.

It's like, the result wouldn't be as good if you didn't understand the, process it took to get there. What is up, everybody? Welcome back for another episode of the podcast of Determine Society. I am your host, Sean French, and I have, once again, a special treat for you guys. But before I get into it, if you guys could please, please, please go subscribe to the show, leave a written review, five star, hopefully, and let me know your thoughts. You know, we're not monetizing the show right now or running ads.

So I would love to hear your feedback. And without further ado, I'm going to just get right down to business because it is 9, 10 p.m. in Florida. And I want to first of all thank my guests for having such flexibility today. We've had to push back the time twice. But we're here and we're excited to give this. So my guest today is a former seven-year quarterback out of Salinas, California. He played in the NFL for seven years. And right now he's navigating life after football and using the skills that he learned there to raise a four-year-old daughter, a two-year-old son, and really just be an overall amazing human being and tackle his business and his after sports career. Great thing about my

guest today is he is married to his eighth grade girlfriend and you do not hear that very often. So David Fales, man, welcome the show, brother. Man, Sean, I appreciate it. Thanks for having me. Yeah, glad to be here. Dad, dude, I mean, look, man, like we connected on the gram and, you know, I think it was within probably like, man, about a week. I was like, dude, it's legit, man. I'd love to have a conversation with this guy sometime soon. And, you know, kind of here's story and brother here we are man we're getting done so we're doing it yeah absolutely i'm appreciate to reach out yeah man you we uh funnily enough for the listeners you know david and i grew up like not too far from each other like you're you're more monterey right like in that area

yeah i'm like selenis monterey yeah gotcha you're a little north i'm the east bay i was in the east bay dude i grew up in uh what was it uh conquered yeah yeah i was born in walnut creek yeah yeah yeah Concord is that that's the Dela Salle? Yeah, bro. Like, dude, so I went to Ignatia Valley my first three years, like the redhead stepchild right behind Dela Salle. And then I transferred to Clayton Valley in my senior year. But yeah, man, like, that's it.

Dude, that's my hometown, Concord, California. Yeah. My high school played them kind of when they were on there. And at the end of, like, their first long streak. Yeah. It was fun to play them. They got after us. Yeah, dude.

They were dope, dude. They were so good, man. But, dude, you're no. stranger to good football. Like I said, you're NFL quarterback for seven years. But the one thing that was really cool, I mean, we'll just start, you know, light and just talk about your time at San Jose State, man. I mean, like that, dude, that was like the first time you guys were ever ranked in the college or whatever, the top or whatever it was. You guys finished 11 and 2. Was that your, what year was that for you? Is that your senior year? No, that was my junior year, but it was my first year there.

And that I think was one of the best years San Jose had. And maybe one of the highest, they were ranked. We were 21. We finished 21. But I always say, like, it was such a perfect situation for me because I was in Monterey, which is like an hour south. These guys had kind of been going through it the last couple years. Remember they were like five and six, I think the year before.

They were even worse than that the year before that. But they had been kind of like setting the foundation, building the culture. And I had also been kind of going through my grind to an NPC of the junior college in Monterey. So I only had Indiana State. And then the day after Christmas, some of the coaches came down, working out just because I had decent stats, like they had to do their due diligence. Ended up really liking me, offered me last minute. And it was like a perfect situation because they had all been playing, built the foundation. They just needed somebody to get them the ball. And it was a really fun year. Yeah, dude, I mean, I could imagine, bro. I mean, you guys lit it up

that. We were like 11 and 2 or something like that. Really, really cool year. I did the junior route, the junior college route for myself as well. And, uh, man, I tell you what, that, that was, that was some fun times in Juko. You know, you don't remember the gravity of like what's going on. Like, you know, sophomore year in Juko, you think you're invincible and it's just like, bro, I'm going anywhere I want. And, uh, you know, then you realize like years later, like, shit, man, thank God I win somewhere. Because that could have been like it for me, you know? Yeah. Those are pivotal times, man. It was like, because I got a scholarship to UNR, Nevada Reno out of high school.

Yeah. And I always tell people, because it was Kaepernick's junior year when I was there. And they were doing really well. And I shouldn't have been there because they were running that offense with Kaepernick. And I am not, I ran a 4-9. He runs like a 4-4 and I wasn't going to be that guy. So I ended up bouncing back. And like I thought I was going to be that guy.

It's like I'm D-1. I'm going to bounce back. And then I'm going to ball out at JC and then get my division one offer it. And my first five games, I was rotating with the guy who had been starting the year before. So I was like, did I just mess up? Like, I'm, yeah. I had my school paid for now I don't. But it was a really crucial time for me to just learn how to compete, kind of control what I can control.

And then it was one of the funnest times I've had. Like, I enjoyed it. It was super fun. And I was in Monterey, driving Highway 1 every morning to school, which I took for granted, which was so nice. When it comes to what your family eats and drinks, you know your choices matter. You're the expert because you know what fits your life. And getting it right starts with good information.

That's why America's beverage companies are sharing more information about our ingredients at good to know facts.org. No spin, no judgments, just the facts straight from the experts for more than 140 beverage ingredients. Visit good to know facts.org. Yeah, that's beautiful. I think, you know, the one thing that I really loved about that little, little story there was you had the, you know, your college paid for at UNR and you're like, all right, I don't fit into the system. I don't run a four for like, like cap does. Bounce back, go to Jucco thinking you're going to dominate right away and you're rotating in and out with with a dude that was there before. It was like that time, it was probably one of the first times like you said, like, whoa, shit, did I mess up? Like, what am I doing here? You know, I don't even have my school paid for now. Like, what is this going to mean for me? And, you know, can you walk us through your mindset of getting from that mindset there to kind of ascending out of that and understanding what you needed to do and how you perform so well?

Yeah. That time really kind of laid the foundation on how I was going to compete and move forward and kind of control what I can control in a lot of other situations moving forward. But I hadn't really competed at that level yet. like I was good at high school and I had to compete with some other kids, but not to the extent where I was rotating like half a season and how to figure it out. So I got to a point in training camp or maybe it was even the offseason where I was like, I am worrying about so many things that are out of my control, out of my control. Like, what is he doing?

What's who am I playing with? Just so many things that I couldn't control it. And I had started, I got introduced to Mind Gym by Gary Mack. and that I that kind of I started doing some of the stuff that he talks about in terms of like visualization and like creating this highlight reel for me and I was like wow this stuff works but on top of that I also was like I'm going to stop worrying about 10 things that I need to get better at and things and happen my candidate of control and like let's pick one thing I can get better at

like maybe it's my three step drop and if I dial that in everything else is going to kind of play itself out um and then I was less anxious. I was less worried about everything. I was just out there again, having fun and focusing on one thing that I knew I could control. And if I handled that, everything else was going to be good. So eventually, I ended up starting halfway through the season and got another, yeah, got San Jose after the next year. But that really helped me kind of moving into San Jose, because also when I first got to San Jose, I was rotating with the two other quarterbacks until the week of Stanford, week one. So then there was like the same thing. And I kind of, I had already

done it two years ago before. So I was primed for that. But it was literally kind of the same situation. I was just like, I'm going to enjoy this, like pick a few things that I can control on every day and get better at and let everything else just happen. Dude, it is such a metaphor for life, bro. Like, like, really think about that. There's not a whole lot of kids in junior college, baseball, football, basketball, or even students, you know, at that age that can literally remove the emotion of the situation and go, okay, I can't control those five things. So I'm going to pay attention to the few things that I can control. And I'm going to execute and focus on those things. That is huge, man, because what happened there? And this is why I'm so glad you're on the show,

dude, because my listeners love this kind of stuff. Right. It's like, okay, what can we do to control the situation? Well, you can't control who you're playing with or, you know, what that dude's doing over there. The only thing that you can do is focus on your, you know, your, your, your, your drop or whatever you need to pre-step drop, your execute, that's your deal. And if you can take care of your side of the street, it is going to remove every single bit of anxiety that you have throughout the same, throughout every single day. That, to me right there is so powerful because if you wouldn't have been able to understand that at that point, you would have been done at San Jose State. Really think about that because you wouldn't have had the tools, right?

I wouldn't have made it. I don't know if I would have got through junior college. That's it, man. Like, that's the thing, dude. And, like, that's why I love sports, you know? And I know one of your biggest things is, like, what sports has taught you. See, I played baseball at a high level. I played at Louisiana State University.

Played at LSU from 0-1 to 03. And I got there and I thought, you know, like, this is great. I belong there. And as soon as I walked on campus, I turned into a fanboy. It's like that paradigm shift in the wrong fucking direction, right? It was like, oh, my God, these guys just won the College World Series last year. Oh, my God, there's so-and-so. He scored the winning run.

Yeah. Oh, he hit a bomb, you know, in game two. It's like, it's like, wait a second. I wasn't able to control what was going on around me because I was focused on everybody else. And I was comparing myself. And as we know, comparison is the root of all of you. man. It will destroy. Yeah, it'll completely destroy you. So learning that at a young age like you did, man, I feel like that's probably what led you to be successful at San Jose State. And even getting to the NFL for seven years, man, like, I didn't learn that. Yeah. You know, I mean, it's crazy. Yeah, yeah. Like in the last two years, I've had a lot of time to kind of reflect on how I got good. I think for so long I was in like hyper speed mode, whereas it was high school, college, NFL. And I feel. And I feel like, I everything was happening so fast and you don't even,

you do when you're in it, but not to the extent that I do now have like an appreciation and an understanding of what I've learned. And because I think sometimes even now I'll get caught up and like worrying about stuff I can't control or like trying to just bite off stuff that's too big. And it's like, all right, let's like, let's break this down. What,

what can I control? I want to make a certain amount of money or I want to have a goal like, all right, let's, let's chop that in half or chop that in a quarter and like, how can we achieve that? I think I was fortunate also to have. have some really cool mentor mentors in my life and role models that helped me, like instill those foundational skills.

I had a quarterback coach that hooked up with me in my freshman year and he still. I still talked to him to this day. But he like really taught me like every day. Like, we're going to get better at a three step drop today. We're going to get better at throwing out on the run today. And I think like I had that ingrained in me. And sometimes when you kind of get away, I would get away from my coach a little bit and go to another team.

It's like you kind of forget and lose sight of what got you here. And it's kind of easy, especially when you go from like high school to college to NFL. You think you got to reinvent the will to kind of get there. And sometimes you do like not. They always say like what got you here isn't what's going to keep you here. And that's true sometimes. But also you got there for a reason. So like don't, don't change everything.

Because I think sometimes I would be the first guy to like reinvent the will because it's not going to keep me here. Yeah. But there's there's some stuff that that I need to keep that got me here. That makes sense. That makes it makes a lot of sense, man. because I think that, you know, people do that in their professional life all the time, right? I see it, I see it in the corporate and the sales environment constantly, right? People get hired because they are qualified to do a job, right?

And their skills got them from that point, from, you know, a point way over here to this specific point in time. Maybe it's an opportunity at a really big corporation to make six figures or whatnot. And then when they get there, they shit the bed, right? because it's like, oh my God, they go into Vaporlock and they just can't perform because they're trying to be somebody they're not. They're trying to reinvent the wheel, so to speak, like you're saying, and like be the corporate robot, read off the brochure and not bring them themselves to the party. You know, it happens in sports. It happens in business. It happens in entrepreneurship.

And it's like one of those things like, listen, we know we need to focus and get better every single day. But to your point, let's work on this one thing today. right? Like know what you're getting into on a day-to-day basis and just hyper-focus on it and get better. Yeah. Yeah, I've kind of gone through that too because I'm in sales now in the corporate role. And I think I was trying to fit in and be something that I had, I guess I wasn't. Because it was a new environment.

I've been playing football all my whole life. I'm like, I have no idea how even how to work my laptop right now and set all this stuff off. And it's like, what is this thing? Yeah, yeah, all the tools that come with it. I'm like, what is going on? And I think it's just, you said something there. It's like where you try to be somebody or not. And my brother, when I was going through the interview process, told me something.

It's like, dude, if they don't like you, you don't want to be there anyways. Like, just be you. Yeah, because that's who you don't, like, you're not going to be somebody else the entire time you're there. So just like, be who you are. You're enough. And that's going to be good. You're here for a reason. And then he's like, you played in the NFL for six years.

And I'm like, yeah. It's like, it's easy to sometimes. forget that. And I always say that too. Even when I was in the league, there was almost like two people within me. It's like the guy I was Monday through Friday and I was like terrified. I was unsure of why I was here. But I think that's why I was so good because I would work so hard Monday through Friday to show up for Saturday or Sunday depending on college or NFL.

But then there was like a switch I could flip game day where I'm like, it's go time. Like nobody out here is going to beat me. like and I think it's a combination of like the trust I have with the players every all the work we put in together I know who I'm going out there with but um it's a it's a mindset and mentality and it's something I've been like kind of navigating I think in this pivot into regular life is like how can I be that guy every day and it's like a choice and it's being intentional about that and really kind of dissecting like what are the thoughts and beliefs that I'm telling myself that are preventing me from being that guy yeah yeah so that's that's that's been interesting. No, it's a really good point, man, because like, you know, and I always believe it too. Like, I work so hard, you know, reping out whatever it is I'm doing, whether it's the podcast, whether it's my, my business or my nine to five job. I work so hard because I fear the other side. Like, I've lost everything before and I'm not going back there, right? So I work so hard and I work, sometimes I almost work scared. And then when it shows, time, it's lights out. I don't think about anything. It's tunnel vision. It doesn't matter. Right. So you work all week for that one moment. And the one thing that you can do in your corporate career now moving forward is you can treat every single task like a practice plan. Okay, from this point, this point, we're doing these drills, right? You execute them. I'm going to

get real good at this. Okay, I wasn't real good at that. Here was the good things I did, but I could improve on XYZ. So all right, tomorrow I'm going to improve on that. But I'm going to to move on to the next, to the next rep, their next revolution, right? And then bang, when it comes down to that closing table,

it's game over. That's game time, right? Yeah. Sales, well, actually, life and sports are so parallel.

And, you know, I, a lot of times people look at me, like I have two heads when I talk about how important sports are at a very high level.

And it's almost like people get really triggered when I say that. Sorry guys that are listening that didn't play a high-level sports. I'm not saying that you suck at life. I'm just fucking telling you. We learned a lot about life a lot earlier. Okay.

The shitting fair, right? What would you say to somebody if they asked you, hey, what did sports really teach you about life? I think, again, as I've taken time, I'm like, success is translatable in all areas. Like, the formula is the same. It's just you've got to kind of dissect it and put in those principles. And I think it's like being a quarterback, it taught me so much. I said to learn how to get good at something. I just kind of like, look, how did I start?

I got with a coach and I grinded like five days a week, two hours a day, and developed a skill until I was one of the best. And then you got to be like, there's all aside from like being able to throw a ball, you got to be able to communicate, learn, and develop and adapt. I think like the leadership skills that it taught me that I didn't even realize what were happening. I was never a raw, raw guy. And I was like, I don't still need to be a raw, raw guy in this second half of or whatever, this next chapter of my life. Like I can lead by example because that's what I always said when I was playing.

Like I when I did speak, it meant something because all the guys that were around me knew I was doing all the right things. And it was credible because sometimes you see those guys even now. Like on IG or in life, people are just talking. And I'm like, are they really that guy? I don't know. But the people who do know you if you are on there, they do know you're that guy. And that's who you want to be anyway. So, man, like how to compete, like how to handle a bad day.

Like, do you shut it down and not show up? And I think I have to address those days a little bit differently now than I did in football. Because I think there were a lot of bad days I never addressed because I couldn't. I couldn't take the time to address. I had to like put that one in the back and we'll be. not think about that ever again because I got to show up and keep my job. So that's not how I necessarily handled today, but like you still have to perform and take care of your family and whatever it is. Like I can't just take a month off because I'm not feeling it. There's just so many

things. The communication, like being able to, especially in sales, like being a quarterback, I was communicating to linemen to receivers to with my coaches, with everybody, you're essentially like a head coach on the field and then being able to perform. in high pressure situations. There's like so many things like that playing it at a high level, like you said, is, um,

has helped me now. But they're like, I think there's a lot of things when I first got out that I will, again, I, I guess essentially sports taught me this, but like I'm not going to attach who I am to what I'm doing with the identity thing. Because that was,

that was something that was tough when I first got out like that really. Yeah. For like the first year where I was kind of going through it. And there's a lot of stuff I, wasn't ready for. And I'm realizing a lot of guys kind of go through that. Yeah. So that was that was really interesting. Yeah. Dude, those are all great lessons. The two biggest takeaways from me that I want to share with you. They're very interesting. At the very beginning, you talked about if you had to get really good at something, you worked your ass off and it was like something you

did for five hours straight until you got it right. Why is it that do you think that people in business or that are transitioning out of sports and into sales environments? And it was, etc. There are some people that don't take that same grit and desire into that different arena. It always confuses me. Because if you know it works, right, there's so many different people. Why do you think people sit there and say like, hey, you know what? Hey, I had all these results as a quarterback or as a, you know, middle infielder at Division I baseball. It's because I eat, sleep, and drink that shit. But where's the translation lost? I'm just thinking this now. I think like when I was younger, it wasn't as easy for me to have access and visibility into like what

everybody was doing, I guess, or or these pros. I don't know. I think now it's, it's easy to get lost in like seeing the results and not seeing all the work that was put in. You see whatever your NFL player is doing and you want to be like him and you don't realize this guy has been doing so many things to get to where he is. Anybody who's successful, you just kind of see the result and you don't really see it. I think you're able to see a lot of those results more now with social media and the access that we have. Oh, yeah. You know, like I think and people are like, oh, I want that. And I mean, everybody wants that. It's fine, but you just don't have an understanding of how much time it took for somebody to get there. And then maybe you quit because it's, it's like,

oh, I'm never going to be. I don't know what it is. But if you haven't developed the skill of like getting really good at something to a high level and understanding that it takes time. And then you all, honestly like I enjoy that like I like I like something that I've been talking about a little bit on Instagram and I'm going to talk about more but like I got into working out like and and I liked it because of the similar thing of of setting a goal and just being able to like grind away and see the results but it's very similar to like how I got really good at football it's like

the result wouldn't be as as good if you didn't understand the process it took to get there you know There it is. There it is. The process, right? It's something that I think is hard for a lot of people. You know, the process, when they lay out a process, they know, let's say something's going to work. I need to make these many calls today. I need to set this many appointments. I need to close this many per month. So then you can back through your metrics and see what's going to work for you. And, you know. But if you don't truly love the process, like, I don't care what it is. You can want that macro result of being on top of the mountain. But if you don't like all this shit, underneath the ugly water, the mud, the blood, the sweat, the tears, and, like, just the adversity, it's never going to come to fruition. And what you mentioned about social media, like, look, everybody listening, I want to be very, very clear. The people behind social media profiles, like myself, like Dave, and all the other individuals

that you see out there have actual lives that they're producing actual results, right? So he was a NFL quarterback for six years. I played Division I won baseball. I've been a high level sales individual for multiple corporations, all the receipts, all their acrylic awards, all the trips, everything like that. But yet, you don't see that, right? People don't see that, right? That's LinkedIn.

If you want to know who somebody is professionally, go to LinkedIn. That's going to tell you. It should tell you, right? It really should tell you. But, like, you know, the access you're talking about social media is it's so. easy to look, you know, to click that damn app on your phone and scroll and see everybody who's doing so much better than you, right? Well, we don't know how long it took that individual to get there.

You know, so when some people are coming up to me and be like, hey, man, you're blowing up on Instagram or you're blowing up in your business, man. It's like almost happened overnight. I'm like, yeah, okay, overnight. Yeah. Doesn't feel like overnight. It feels like I've been working out for 2008 when I lost everything. I started to talk about that.

More recently, like, if you go back in the last couple of weeks, I'm like, all right, cool, I'm going to let it all out. People are going to know who I am. I want people to be able to connect with me more because I want them to know, like, hey, there's real people out here. And I'm just not going to talk about all the good shit, right? Because there's a process that went on for me to get to where I am. And trust this, I am grateful for I'm at my life. I have a beautiful wife, three beautiful children, an amazing house, a great podcast, a great business, a great nine to five, right? A bit with a nice title and a lot of great responsibilities.

I'm grateful, but I'm not satisfied. Yeah. And so whatever the process needs to be for me to do certain things in this world and this life to achieve that macro result that everybody wants, I am willing to go through all the shit in between. Yeah, because I think you have perspective and you take time to really assess what you want. that's something I've done in this next chapter too. I realized when I was in the NFL, like I had this dream. I wanted to get to the NFL, but I never really dreamed past the NFL. And that was kind of a weird thing too. It's like, ah, you know, I was like, oh, man. And it sounds, it sounds crazy to say, but because everyone's like, football's going to end.

And everybody told me that in high school, college, and NFL. And you know it. But when you're in it and I'm just trying to hang on, it's like, yeah, it's not ending today. I'm not like I'll I'll have an idea of what I want to do and get exposure to different spaces but like I'm I football was my dream when I was a sixth grader I was writing letters to yeah drew Brie's home Brady like um so yeah and I think um I'm I'm in this next chapter kind of thinking with the end in mind a little bit you know I don't want to because I realize like okay I have the skills to to do what I want but I'm I don't want to look back 20 years from now and think like, man, you idiot. You just did the same thing. You just grinded because you'll see some people that like I went to a Tony Robbins event. This guy had sold a company for billions of dollars and was like trying to figure out what he was going to do next. Like he was kind of lost almost.

And I was like, man, it's just, I realize it's not just a me thing. Like there's so many other people that go through this. And it's got to be bigger than all of that, you know? And that's, yeah. It's a purpose. David, it's a purpose. And when we find our purpose, it doesn't matter. There's no money, right?

You can scale a company and you can sell it for a billion dollars. But if you're that rat and you're that dude or that woman that wants to keep pushing because it's inside you, like, you have to keep going. You will die on the vine if you don't, right? And I think that like having the end in mind and nowhere where you want to go is a super powerful tool, brother. because you know you'll be able to see it in the distance and now you can reverse engineer what you need to do to get there right and it's almost like always people always ask me like hey like what are you chasing i was like man like i fail out it every single day but i'm i'm chasing the dude that when i when i die god introduces me to who i'm supposed to be who his vision was for me and if i if i go to heaven and i

don't know or recognize who i'm supposed to be that's my biggest fear in life gosh that is i sent it all the That's my hell. Like, if I, 30 years from now, I look back and think about all the things I wish I would have done, like, that is a scary place to be. So scary, bro. And it's like every day, dude, like, you know, and you can appreciate this. You're a husband and a father. It ain't always pretty. It ain't.

You know, you get mad at your wife. You and your wife have arguments and then your kids, you know, you have a two and a four. Luckily, y'all are still working man to man. So I don't even want to hear your racket over there, okay? you can conquer and divide. Once you throw a third one in there, you're in zone and you are done. Oh, man. Yeah, there's talk numbered.

You're done, dude. But like, but it's not, it's not, it's not pretty, right? It's like, you know, especially, you know, you had your, your two-year-old, right? Your son, right in the middle of the pandemic, right? And so, like, that was 2020, right? Yeah. I mean, dude, like that is, that is a hard thing to navigate, right? And that was probably right when your transition happened too.

So all these things, these big life moments are coming. And it's almost like for somebody like you and I that hold the end game in mind of who we want to become. And there's all these obstacles that can get in our way every single day. It's almost like, oh my gosh, do you like, I failed today. Because I like I can literally sit there and tell you today like I failed today. You know, like there's so many things that I could have done better. You know, in my relationship with my wife or my kids. It's like I got irritated with my six-year-old today.

Yeah. Because like I was like in the middle of like 70 different calls, you know, all these tasks. And, you know, she's their home from school because it's Thanksgiving week here in Florida. They get the whole week off. And it's like, daddy, daddy, I'm like, what? I'm like, oh my God. Like what's wrong with me? So I'm on a rant.

Sorry, ladies and gentlemen. I'm on a rant about it. But that's the thing, man. It's a hard process. Yeah. I think there's a balance to it though because I don't know if we'll ever get. that out of, you know, like, sometimes I, I don't, I don't want to always walk away because I think there will be in the way we are high achievers. Like, there's always going to be something we can get

better at. And it's not like I was in, in football, it would, it would, um, hurt me during the week. And then eventually, like, I, I, I've corrected however I needed to to feel good about going into the game. But it's not as easy when I'm walking into the house feeling like shit or whatever I did or I'm anxious because I don't think I did enough to help us out or whatever. And when you kind of get perspective. It's like, oh, you're actually doing all right. Like, chill out and enjoy your family. And but I think you said something earlier, too, that helps you just being grateful. Like, you can be, once you take that grateful mindset and our, it's like a healthy anxiety in terms of like wanting to get better. Yeah. There's a balance there. But when you have that, that grateful perspective,

it kind of just shifts everything. Um, something I've noticed in the last year. No, absolutely. You know, I'm going to tell you, man, one of the things I need to get better at is, is filtering that. Because a lot of it, dude, there's days where it's not a healthy anxiety for me. my mind will not stop. You know, I can attribute that to being a catcher, right, at a very high level. It's like I was always aware.

Like, I'm always looking around in baseball. I don't know if football's the same way. I play football one year. I'm a big bitch and I quit because it hurt. Like I got, I played freshman football. And I'm like,

yeah, bro, I'm a sack. Quarterbacks can be great. And second practice ever. I shoot through a gap and the running back blew me up. I'm like, nope, nope,

No. I have like a promising baseball career. I'm like, these guys are stupid. I'm not, I don't know what these people are thinking. It was like the worst pain ever. I'm like,

bro, that was terrible. And, you know, as a catcher, it was you're always looking around. You're always seeing if everybody else is where they're supposed to be. You're looking for a sign.

You're trying to pick somebody else's signs. And so my brain never stopped. And, you know, even now on a day-to-day basis, I don't think it, I don't think it does stop. I, um, I don't like it. I'm the same way. And my, my wife, I feel like, where are you right now? And I'm like, oh. Oh, man. Yeah. And, uh, I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm like, I've been on and off with meditation and like just trying to be

present and like putting whatever I'm thinking about to the side just because I'll get like locked in. She's like, you are in another planet right now. I'm like, yeah. And then she, but she knows and we've, I've been doing this with her forever. She, uh, I, kind of communicate it to her and she'll give me some grace, but it gets old when kids are throwing the picture a little bit for her. So yeah, dude, I mean, I feel that, bro, because, you know, being present, you know, as a father and as just as an adult is extremely hard. But when you're severely, I say severely, but when you're severely driven to provide this amazing lifestyle for your family to a point where you never have to worry about going on that great

vacation. Do you don't even need to check the bank account? There are certain sacrifices in order to achieve that, right? Or investments in yourself that you have to make. So I don't know if they're sacrifices. It's for you. It's an investment. We're not taking anything away. But dude, there's those moments, man, where you're not present. And that's the hardest thing for me, you know, and it's humbling. Because when I realize it or my wife's like, hey, you're not, can you be present? Like, what's going on? You know, I initially, get upset. It's like, well, I got all these things in my mind. Like, what? I mean, like, how could I not be elsewhere right now? Yeah. But it's, but dude, like, it's something that I haven't perfected.

So it's nice to, it's really nice having this conversation with you and, you know, it's realizing. That's why I love the show. You know, I'm telling you before we hit record, because you're having a nice conversation. Like, literally, if I could do this 24-7, you know, like, this is the all I had to do was record podcasts with amazing people like yourself. That's what I would want to do, because in the process of that, again, process, where I learn every single time I do an interview, like I have so much in common with so many of my guests. I'm not going to say all of them.

Some of them, like, I can't even, I haven't even released. But like, you know, it's mind opening, man. I mean, how many, I've recently started doing podcast more and just being a little bit more conscious and present of the conversations I'm having with people because, fortunately, like, the last two or three months, I've had a few events that I've been able to attend and, like, be around some high-quality individuals and have some really cool conversations.

But, like, these podcasts, like, how, when do you ever have an hour conversation uninterrupted without your phone, without your kids, without, like, anything? I'm like, I've, I've, yeah, you don't. Like, this is one of the longest conversations I've had this week and you're, and where, and are you diving into this in-depth stuff? Yeah. You're not worried about what's going on. You know, you're not, you know, looking at your phone.

Dude, it's like the only time I can put my phone. I do not disturb and not feel weird about it. Yeah. I mean, I do it at night now, right? Yeah. But like, dude, that's the thing. It's like, it is so, it is so difficult as an adult or even just even as a parent to, to have that even uninterrupted time even talking to your wife.

Like, I don't know how it is. No, like, I don't know. Yeah, I mean, like, bro, it's like, and that's a frustrating point, right? because, you know, it's something's always interrupting. It's like, and again, to your point, that's why I love doing the podcast for those reasons. It's like, I learn a ton about other people and just, and learn about how much I have in common with all these folks. And then, too, it's like the only uninterrupted conversation I ever have. It's so powerful.

Just like, I think I, when I got out of the league in the last year, as I realized, like, networking is huge for many reasons. Like, you meet some really cool people and then you naturally get. connected to other people. It's all about half a bit, at least is who you know. And I think this is a big part of it, just being able to connect with people. Sure. And I, yeah, I really, this platform is cool. And I listen to podcast all the time and you get to understand and hear people at a really in-depth angle. So it's awesome. No, it truly is like, bro, like that's the other thing as far as like networking. This is the one of the best ways to network. Because even if you're at a networking event or you're at a conference. You're not having this one-on-one here.

So, like, the people that I have on my show that I vibe with, like, you, we're probably going to be friends after this. Yeah. You know, like, that's the way this works, right? But to your point, the networking, man, it's just, this is one of the biggest networking opportunities that I've ever had is having a podcast. Yeah. You know?

That's awesome. I've, uh, I've had so many conversations. And I'm, I'm getting something in the works in terms of the podcast. I'm like, I've had so many cool conversations with people like yourself. And I'm like, if I would just record these and wherever people are in stages of their life, career, whatever, like, whether it's pivoting out of football or getting in the sales or being in football, like, man, if I could just record this and be like, hey, go listen to this one. Like, this will help you out.

And then be able to connect them with that person as well as huge. Yeah, dude, having conversations with people and being able to bless somebody else's life because of the conversations you've had prior, you know, that's purpose. That's, you know. And for me, when I, look at things like what is this conversation going to do for for me and the other person like can we help each other move forward and if we can help each other move forward in our career and have a great conversation but how can we help somebody else after that those are the conversations that i that i love

having you know i i value those right because you learn like again man i keep going back to learning about people like you know you had your own journey when you exited the nfl you know you went right into corporate America and I respect the hell out of that. You know what I mean? And we're getting, we're like, I could talk to you all freaking night, dude, because it's a cool, it's a chill vibe. It's like we can go on and on and on. But like, bro, we've, we're already up to the 40 minute point. So we're going to start landing the plane here. I want you to get back to your family. I'm going to go

put out on some Netflix before I have to wake up and go to the gym in the morning. But, you know, I want to, I want to commend you for what you're doing out there, focusing on your transition, but the one thing that I love most about you, David, and I just want to acknowledge you is the fact that you're focused on being a great dad and a great husband. And I have to ask you, because I remember my eighth-grade girlfriend. I would have never remarried her. Dude, talk to me about that. That is so amazing that you are married to your eighth-grade girlfriend.

Yeah, it's, it is crazy. we lived around the corner from each other and her dad didn't know that we were that we were a boyfriend and girlfriend. We were friends at the time. And it's so crazy because I'm like, she was 13. My daughter's four.

I'm like in nine years. Like I'm about to deal with this potentially. Like it's crazy. But yeah. She's on the other foot now. Yeah. And I mean, it's been interesting because we've known each other

through so many different chapters and phases of our lives and it's stuck together and it's so cool and I'm very appreciative of her of her and it's like all the times in my career she's been a rock for me but even more so now because like I she has never seen me like this she's seen me where I was confident I was that football player I was a guy but the guy I was for a moment there like and she still hung by me um it was super cool I just kind of reminded me like essentially a little bit who I was and supported me for that. It was awesome. But she's,

yeah, she's a beast. And being a mom is a tough job and she's crushed it. Yeah, being a mom is tough, dude. Women are better than us, man.

I don't care what anybody says. They're better at like 99.9% of the thing. Like, quite literally. Yeah. It's, so have you always, I mean,

were you guys together from eighth grade on? We had, we were off, uh, for like a half a year in college, a half a year in NFL. Like, yeah, probably a year total, not in the 17, or what is it now? It's like 19 years, yeah. That's incredible, dude.

That's awesome, brother. I love that. I love that. That's really cool. She's awesome. She's great. We, uh, it's funny. You said that you're going to have to deal with that in like nine years with your

daughter. It's funny because I posted like a little story on IG last. Last night, my daughter, my three-year-old, almost four, comes out, you know, and she goes, I said, who's your best friend at school? And she goes, Blake. And my wife goes, why? And she goes, because he loves me. I said, huh?

I was like, get upstairs. She goes, okay. She runs upstairs. It's like, I'm thinking like, this is like beginning to be anxietizing for me because she's three. She's got a long way to go. But I have a six-year-old, right? And so I'm, I'm going to be dealing with this soon.

I think it's going to be like, I mean, 11 or 12 where, you know, boys are going to be coming. I'm like, I don't even know what I'm, I don't even know what I'm thinking. It better not be, you know, five years. Locker and lock her in a room. Man, yeah, it scares me. Yeah, it scares a hell out of me, man. But I'm just trying to like set that, that example and be the bar for her, for who she evaluates guys that she lets into her life.

That's, I do think about it, but I'm also like, yeah, I want to be that guy that she's like, well, that's what I think a man's supposed to be. You're not even close. So I'm not even going to waste my time. And I'm like, dude, bro, that's like the most impactful part of the show right there. Like,

as fathers, we get to have the opportunity to show our daughters what a man is and what they should be tolerating in their life and in their relationships. And for our sons, we set the bar of who they need to become. And hopefully better than, like, I want my son to be better.

than me in every facet of his life. Like, I will get no appreciation out of my son being equally as good as me. I want him to be 17 times the man I am. And that's the amazing opportunity that we have as fathers. You know, so. Yeah. Kids give you so much perspective. Like, in conversations like this, it's like, it starts to click, right?

You're like, oh, wait a second. I'm like, this is the amazing opportunity that I have. Let's try to not get lost in the fucking weeds every day, right? Like, when we think about the opportunity we have, but listen, man, I got a couple more questions for you. Again, this has been an amazing conversation. I hope the audience is enjoying this as they listen. And two big questions, man, probably two most important questions that I can ask you. The first one is, how can my audience best support you?

You know, I think I'm trying to be more active on IG And just kind of share my story And it's And it's not going to hit everybody But I think the people that it does hit It does it resonates with And so if they want to follow me on IG

And share that Because I'm going to start kind of Share my story a little bit more And eventually turn this into the podcast And share those conversations So we're in the beginning of those works right now. Well, do, that's easy.

I mean, all your links will be posted here in the show, you know, the show notes so they can read that, click on you, and it'll take you right to your page where they can follow you. And guys, I really encourage you to, me and David, like I said, do follow each other. We found each other a couple months ago, I think. Maybe not even that long ago.

And maybe a month ago, he followed me. I'm like, oh, this dude looks pretty cool, man. You always get these random follows, right? but dug into his page. I'm like, oh, what you do right here? Hell yeah, man. Let's roll. Be friends with this guy.

So definitely, definitely hit the follow button on him and listen to a story. And he's out there to make the world a better place. The final question I have is how can I best support you, man? You're doing it, man. I appreciate you having me on here and just being able to share my story, this conversation. And just this relationship. So I appreciate it. Just having me out here.

Absolutely, brother. Well, if there's anything else that you need, you know, you could just hit me up, dude. You got my number. Yeah, I will. And I'll do whatever I can for you, brother. But all right, guys, well, listen, man, it's getting super late. And we are going to close this bad boy out. So I just want to remind you, if you enjoyed the show, please share it out.

Tag me and my boy on your socials. We'll share it back to our stories. But more importantly, guys, throw out a written rating on Apple or, you know, Apple podcast or Spotify. subscribe to the show and do everything you can to take this podcast from top 10% globally to top 1% globally as quickly as possible. So without further ado, guys, happy Thanksgiving week. Y'all take care. Talk soon. This episode is brought to you by LifeLock.

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