Determined Society with Shawn French | Adversity & Mindset - Good Grief with Lori Miggins

Episode Date: October 24, 2022

Tragic Loss: In this episode Shawn French sits down with new Author, Health & Wellness Coach and Grief expert, Lori Miggins. As we all go through life we experience tragic and massive losses of friends and loved ones. A lot of the times it is frowned upon to grieve in an open and honest way due to the fact that those that are closest to us may judge our experience. You will hear things like, it has been 3 years shouldn’t you not be crying or it is time you move on and live life. Why is it socially unacceptable to grieve continuously? Today’s guys has dealt with this judgement through the loss of the 2 people closest to her. Just imagine losing your parents within years of each other to tragedy… Here is a peak behind Lori’s story and what we discuss on this show…. Daddy’s Little Girl: There is no love and bond like one of a Daddy and Daughter. Trust me, I have three children. A son and two beautiful daughters. While my son is everything to me, my daughters have me experiencing emotions and empathy that I never knew was possible. Lori and her father had that same type of bond. He was her best friend and someone she knew she could always count on. Even though her father was loved by her and her family, he struggled mentally and emotionally for years. He took multiple attempts on his life until…he was successful. Lori lost her father to his own hands only days after she married her amazing husband, Robert. Her father was at her wedding and fully engaged into the experience and love that his daughter was receiving at the alter.She recalls pulling up to her parents home and only seeing police and first responders. What she learned was her worst nightmare had been realized. Her father was gone. Her world came crashing down and luckily she had Robert and her loving mother to get through all of this. Eventually, she began to heal from her nightmare and life began to get back to normal. Until….. A Mothers Love: It wasn’t very long after Lori lost her father that she lost her mother. To everyone’s knowledge her mom was in perfect health. No signs of sickness or anything. Quickly after Lori and her family learned this news, her mother passed away. They soon learned that her mom had undiagnosed stage 4 cancer. Losing a parent is never easy but losing both parents in a tragic way is something one can never prepare for. After this life altering event, Lori struggled with grief once again and it quickly brought back all of the feelings of losing her Dad as well. It was like pouring salt in an unhealed wound. Here she goes again and turned to amazing husband for support to get her through. Lori’s Response to grief: Lori knew she needed to help others not only acknowledge but express their grief. She dove into writing in a journal daily about her grieving process and what she learned along the was the importance of giving equal attention to things things and people in her life that she was grate for. After a while, the gratitude took over and she proceeded to to inspire others in her life. She quickly became stronger mentally and physically so much so that she launched a successful health and fitness business. To this day Lori manages her grief while showing her children what a true inspiration she is. Her grief journal titled Good Grief launches November 3rd. Make sure you listen to this episode to learn all about it. You can learn more about Lori's grief journey on her podcast: https://goodgriefpeople.libsyn.com You can learn more about Lori's health and wellness journey and how she can help you at: www.LORIMIGGINS.com Connect with Lori on Instagram: @lorimiggins --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/shawn-french/message Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

So this is more of a working journal. I do have some of my story in here, but really it's page for page where you can sit and think about your loved one. And each day you're prompted to think about them, different things that remind you of them. So you have a safe space for you to be with your loved one every single day and give them the attention that they deserve, to keep them alive. You know, I want to acknowledge you really quickly. This is hitting me differently because I post I am with you. So I appreciate you sharing this. And, you know, there's a lot of loss in my life as well.

What is up, everybody? Welcome back to another episode of the podcast of Determined Society. I am your host, Sean French. And guys, before I get into introducing today's guests, I want to remind you the fee of the show. The show is free, but I need you to share the show. I need you to like, subscribe, whatever the show. fuck it is and leave a review. All right, on Apple, on Spotify, it doesn't matter. This show has helped so many people propel in their career, but also has helped the audience get through things that

they normally wouldn't be able to get through prior to listening to the show. So please, do the right thing, subscribe to the show, share it out, leave a review. So anyway, let's get into today. I have with me a really good friend. Her name is Lori Miggins. I was introduced to her from a good friend of mine, Lori Brabric, and I'm going to tell you, this woman here is like my equal. She's like my sister. Her and I literally think the same thoughts, speak the same sentences, and literally our lawn guys show up at the same freaking time, and she's in a completely different state. And for those of you that are listening, won't know that inside joke, but literally that everything that happens in Lori's life seems to happen in mine.

I love and I respect her so much. She's a fitness coach. coach, but more than that, she is a brand new author and she has an amazing book launching tomorrow. Tomorrow is October 25th. So she's going to talk to us about that book, but it is called Good Grief. It is a grief warrior's journal. Now, Lori has experienced some tremendous loss in her life and she's out here to help others get through their grief. So Lori, welcome to the show, sweetie. Hello.

Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it. can't wait. Absolutely. Listen, you know, I meant every word, you know, you are an amazing individual, and you and I literally have the same brain. We have, we have done so many amazing collaborations in the recent past, and you literally can predict what's on my slides or my talk points, you know, five slides ahead. So, you know, I really respected. And when you told me you were, you know, writing this journal, I instantly got super excited. And I knew I want to to highlight it. It was just a matter of when. And the stars really just aligned, right?

But, you know, before we get into that, why don't you tell the listeners a little bit about your background? Sure. All right. So I am 46 years young and a mom of three. And I consider myself a grief warrior. And basically, I coined that term because I was hit with two tremendous losses. and I'll talk about that in a little bit. But, and I like to say that I've overcome it. I don't think we ever really overcome grief, but we learn to live with it. And if we want something badly enough,

we can get through it and we can push our struggles aside and move forward and propel forward towards our goals, towards our wellness, towards being better no matter what happens in our life. And one of the things I love about your podcast is the name of it. If you're determined to be better, like you can literally do anything. You can get through any struggle.

And I don't need a red carpet, but I can tell you right now that my grief is, like I look back at my own story and I can't believe when I talk about it that it's actually me. I'll probably be done with this podcast and like totally crumble because it all comes out. The first time I told my own story on my own podcast, I have a season of my own podcast called The Good Grief People.

and my second episode, I shared my story completely from start to finish. And it was the first time I had shared my story completely from start to finish. I've shared little bits and pieces on my social media platforms, but never really sat down and shared the entire thing. And at the end of that, I just like broke down. And it was like a cleansing breakdown. And I've taught some of my fellow grief warriors that it's good to do that. It's good to let it all out. It's good to get it off your chest.

And it's good to cry. Like it is scientifically proven that when you cry, you're literally releasing and cleansing your body and getting it out. And a lot of people that struggle with grief, they struggle with it so much because they think they can't talk about it. And other people think they can't talk about it. And really, when you're struggling with the loss, the one thing you want to do is talk about the people that you lost because you missed them so much. So that's really, when I put this together, it actually came together. a little bit by accident, but just to share my story, like I said, I'm 46 years old. I lost my dad in 2011 to depression.

So in other words, I lost him to a mental illness where he tried to take his own life several times and was successful on the third time. And I was very, very upset with him. One of the first times he tried was the day after my wedding. And I go into this in a little bit more depth on my podcast, but he absolutely adores my husband. It wasn't, you know, it wasn't bad. A lot of people were like, oh, my gosh, the day after your wedding, it was more like he saw everyone he knew at our wedding. And the next day it was just the emotion and the overwhelm.

And I remember driving back to my home, to my parents' home the day after my wedding. There was so many cars there. I was so excited. My new husband, I went so excited. Everybody was there to see us, right? And I walk in and they were there because my dad was at the hospital because he had to take his life that night. So my... When it comes to what your family eats and drinks, you know your choices matter. You're the expert because you know what fits your life. And getting it right starts with good information. That's why America's beverage companies are sharing more information. information about our ingredients at good to know facts.org. No spin, no judgments, just the facts, straight from the experts for more than 140 beverage ingredients. Visit good to know facts.org. After wedding feeling went from, oh my gosh, to survival mode, what the hell happened? So I spent that day in the hospital, I'll never forget holding my father's hairy arm. And he had a, he was in the Navy, which one of the reasons why there's an anchor on the front of my.

That's really cool. I was wondering what the anchor was for. That's really neat. Those of you that are going to be watching and listening or watching this podcast on either Spotify or YouTube, you'll be able to see our cover. It's really, it's really awesome. Yeah. So he, so he was very nautical, very into boats.

So I am too. And I actually got an anchor tattoo on my foot matches my brother. But the day after my wedding, he tried to take his life. And I remember sitting in the hospital holding. his arm like I was the roles were reversed all of a sudden I was the parent he was the kid and I was like how is my biggest fan my biggest rock my biggest supporter now so weak and he did not take his life that night it wasn't until months later where he did um and so when I lost him my mother and I were just like he was the rock of our family he was like the son of our solar system how would we

go on without him. And my mother and I actually became even closer than we were before. My father and I were extremely close. And after losing him, I am realizing more and more that that was not normal. Not all daughters are as close with their dads. I had no idea. I just thought everyone was. And it's amazing that once something's gone, you appreciate it even more. So when I lost my father, my mother and I became even closer. We grieved him together. Totally different types of losses. She lost her husband.

I lost my father. But we grieved the loss of him together. We became so much closer. My mom never got over him. Like never. She never, never dated. She never, they were high school sweethearts. And then three years later, I unfortunately lost my mom unexpectedly to undiagnosed breast

cancer. and it's October. So Pink Tober, very big month for me to remember my mom. We lost her in October and it's breast cancer awareness month. I can talk about this openly now, but it was hard at the time. My hands are shaking a little bit. But she did not like doctors. She probably had the breast cancer for some time. I mean, when you have it, that bad, you know you have it. But my younger brother found my mom and she was on heart thinner, blood thinner medication and she actually let out. And my poor younger brother found her. And because she hadn't returned a phone call of mine from Friday night and I was like,

something's weird. So my brother went over there Sunday and my life completely changed. I thought it changed on May 26th when I lost my father. But on October 4th when I lost my mother, my life was 50 times worse. I was like, again, like, how does this happen? How does, like, literally the carpet get pulled out from under me again? Like, what am I going to do? And about a year before I lost my mom, I had poured so hard into my own health.

And I had no idea that I needed to get back on track with my own fitness and nutrition, that that is what kept me going and getting through losing my dad. So when I lost my mom, I just poured right into that again. I mean, I could have gone into, you know, alcohol or drugs or done some crazy stuff, but I decided to just continue to take care of myself, continue to share what I was going through because by sharing my own story, I was helping other people. They were coming to me for health and fitness. And then a few months later, I'd find out that they were struggling with losing their mom,

or they were struggling with losing their dad. Or they were saying, oh, my gosh, thank you so much because of your story. I now have communication with my father and I hadn't speaking to him for five years and now we're together. And it's those kind of things and it's those kind of reasons that I started, that I continue to show up and share my story. But with the launch of my book, I started doing something years ago called gratitude. And it's so cliche, right? Everybody does mindset development. Everyone has a journal. Everyone does gratitude where you sit down and you're grateful about three to to five things in your life every day. It's a great way to start your day. High achievers start

their day like that. But something I started doing about three years ago was instead of just writing five things I'm grateful for, I put a line down the middle and I wrote five things about my grief that I was grateful for. And I know that sounds crazy. Like how can you be grateful for losing your parents? I was grateful for the things that kept them alive. Because when you lose someone, you don't lose them unless you stop talking about them. You can keep them alive. by talking about them, by bringing them up, by remembering them every single day. So every single day in my gratitude journal, I was writing things like a Neil Diamond song that makes me think of my dad or, you know, baking, you know, banana bread with my kids that

makes me think of my mom or just random things that make me think of my parents, the sunset, the birds, the cardinal, like there's a million things. But every day I would try to think of at least five things. And that's what sparked me to come up with this grief warrior journal. It's a place where you can remember your loved one and comfortably get it off your chest and out of your brain and living somewhere as like a memento for you to remember your lost one. So this is more of a working journal. I do have some of my story in here. But really it's page for page where you can sit and think about your.

loved one and each day you're prompted to think about them, different things that remind you of them. So you have a safe space for you to be with your loved one every single day and give them the attention that they deserve to keep them alive. You know, I want to acknowledge you really quickly. This is hitting me differently because how close I am with you. So I appreciate you sharing this. And, you know, there's a lot of loss in my life as well, not with my parents just yet. you know, but that's obviously inevitable, right?

And the one thing that I'll tell you is I want to go back to the very beginning of the interview. When we started speaking about, you start speaking about it's okay to cry. The one thing that I feel that people in this world need to do a better job of is acknowledging that fact, that crying is a release of energy. Crying is what is going to heal us. crying is what's going to get us to make different movements in our life. And then after that release of energy, you have two routes you can go, right? The one is, what am I going to do to get better and be successful in my life and how am I going to lead my family? Or the other route is going to a dark, deep depression and don't do shit.

What I admire about you most is what you have created in your life from that point on. You've built an amazing fitness business. You have an amazing physique and you have an amazing mind. And that is done through the motivation or the drive and determination that you received through losing your parents. Can you speak on that a little bit? Because I think, you know, people need to hear this part of it. This part of it is what has made you. and and as sad as everything is,

those two events created Lori Megan's. I know it's crazy because in the beginning of when you start, you know, a health and wellness business, you're asked to share your story and I had no idea what my story was. And my story was unfolding. Just like everybody's story is unfolding. Every single glitch in the road is part of your story.

And you literally have the, like it's up to you. what you do with it. And I could have just stayed quiet. I could have let this knock me down. I could have let this keep the 30 pounds that I had to lose. I could have, but instead, I decided to get in the best shape possible. And not only of my physical, but my mental, because I know that it runs in my family. Mental illness runs in my family. It runs in a lot of people's family. They don't even know it. Mental. Here's well. Here's well. And it's a thing that people don't talk about. And it's as normal as anything else. Like mental illness is a cancer.

It is a cancer just because you can cause cancer too. Let's be honest. Totally. Totally. And for a long time, I was angry with my dad because I just wanted to shake him and be like, snap out of it. And it's not that. Like depression is a clinically diagnosed like a cancer. And just because you can't see it, they cannot snap out of it.

And my poor father struggled for so long. He was such a successful man. He was everyone's best friend. He would light up the room. He would be so fucking proud. of this right now and the fact that I am like making a journal that can help other people because of my loss of him. And if it sounds selfish, it's not at all.

But my father was such a giver. So to share his story to help one other person, I already know I'm doing the best that I can with his story. And then with losing my mom, I mean, like I said, I can't believe that I don't have parents anymore. I was so close to both of them. I feel so bad for my three children. But we make the best of it. My three children know my parents better than most grandchildren that have grandparents here still. Because of the way I talk about them, because of the way I bring up holiday traditions,

and my mother's handwriting is literally on every gift she ever gave me, which I love. And recipes and things, and I talk about my parents all the time. I'll say a story, and my daughter will be like, you told me that around. And I'm like, good. I'm so glad there's another telling. But I keep them alive because it's the one thing that people need to do more when they lose someone. I think it's accurate. I mean, I'm sorry, I think.

I know. Right. Because a lot of times, you know, my mom went through something earlier in her life. And I don't want to completely share it on the air because, you know, that's her story. But, you know, when she grew up after that traumatic event, it was almost like, don't talk at a, Don't talk about it around Cindy. Don't talk about it. It's going to make her sad.

And what it created is this, don't talk about your feelings. Don't show your emotion. And all that did for her was completely hurt her throughout her life. And it's still, it still hinders her today. And it's like, there's almost times where like, and I've told her this and I'll say it on the air. It's like, I have to father her sometimes. And that is hard for a son. But at the same time, it's not her fault.

fault. What is her fault is not taking care of it early enough, right? She has to own that. But there's too many people in this world telling their children or telling their friends or loved ones, hey, don't talk about it. Don't talk about it. It's just going to make you sad. Bury that shit. And all that does is create disease. Because disease, when you break the word down, is dis-ease. There's a dis-ease in your body. And the only way that happens, and we're all gills, of it is, you know, creating the anxiety-filled situations over shit that doesn't fucking matter, right? Or, or just worrying so much that we worry ourselves sick.

And listen, I'm not, I'm not, I'm preaching to the choir here. I am guilty as fucking charged. I will worry myself so sick and paralyze myself to a point where I have to work out intensely for a week straight in order to break that shit. You want to talk about a sickness? like I've always told everybody on this podcast, I'm going to be real and authentic. I'm not going to paint myself in this picture

where I don't have issues. I got fucking ton of them. And I do this because it's therapeutic for me. You know, and a lot of times I'm coaching myself through situations when I'm coaching others through situations. But I think that's what brings the genuine love and care. You know, but to,

we went off in the weed. I went off in the weeds there for a second, but, you know, the big point of that whole story for the people that are listening is you have to talk about things. You have to sit there and you have to open up and allow yourself to hurt. You have to lean into the fucking suffering because if you don't, you cannot grow from it. At what point did you realize, Lori, that you're like, okay, this hurts so bad, but I have to lean into these feelings because if I don't, I'm not going to be good for my husband or my children. Yeah, I just think you have to step away from yourself and when you're in the wellness industry, I mean, you're in the wellness industry too. You're, you're, you know, making people develop their mindset and feel just amazing and move forward. You've got to believe that you can propel forward from anything. You have to also know that there's no right way to grieve when it comes to grieve. There's no right way. There's no wrong way. There's only your way. And you have to figure that out. People ask me all. You know. the time. Should I go get a grief counselor? Should I do this? Should I do that? And I'm like, you need to figure that out because my first grief counselor, I did not gel with at all.

She was terrible. She was awful. She had no, like, it was just. And then my second one was amazing. Absolutely incredible to the point where I graduated from grief counseling. She was like, you're better. And it's not something that you're better from, but I was doing things and the homework she was making me do. And part of the things that I have in my grief journal are some activities and exercises that she put me through that helped me move forward rather than just being in a state of depression. Because when you lose someone that you can't imagine your life without it. I mean, let's face it. When I was 38 years old, I lost my dad and three years later I lost my mom. That's not normal age to lose your parent. And I had no way to get ready for either one.

like a lot of times, you know, and I'm not saying any grief is easier because that's another thing. When someone comes to you and says, oh, I know exactly what you're going through. I lost my 80-year-old grandma. No, you don't. All grief is different. I feel for you, that's a horrible, horrible type of grief, but there's different types of grief. And when you have an 85, 90, 95-year-old grandma, you know what's going to happen eventually. When someone's diagnosed with something, you know what's going to happen eventually.

like I said, not looking for a red carpet to be like, my grief is the worst because it's not a club you want to be the president of. Yeah, like trust me there. But it's definitely, you know, something that you know that you know that you have to move forward from. You know that you need to grieve your own way. And you've got to do better with your life. So the only way to do that is to find things that make you feel. better. Find things that can help you. So for me at the time, I was, you know, looking, I was doing gratitude. I wasn't doing grief gratitude, but I was doing gratitude. I was doing health, wellness,

nutrition, and, you know, seeking a counselor at the time and doing things to better myself. You can't stand still in anything in life that you're struggling with. If you're trying to move forward and better yourself and be a high achiever in anything that you're doing, you've got to move forward. And if that means you need to invest in yourself, like my grief counselor was not free. My medical insurance did not cover that. Like that's an elective thing that you just do on your own, like going to get a massage. Like that is just something that you do. And massages are great. And, you know, maybe you need one of those. But you've got to be willing to invest in yourself to be better than you were before. And that's really what, you know, what I talk about all the time is

you have to put in a little bit if you want to get a lot out. If you stand still, you're only going to stand still. If you want to move forward and get better, you've got to move forward and get better. It's totally up to you. Like, you literally get to write your own story. You get to do what you want to do today. And I say this all the time. Like ask yourself every single day, what kind of person do I need to be today in order to succeed and be better? And then the answer to that, become that person. every single day just become that person. Mike drop right there, minute 22. I mean, look at it.

You know, that's one of the things that you and I speak about via text and voice note. For those of you listening, Lori and I are the kings and queens of voice notes back and forth to each other. We go hard as shit on those things. And we leave two minute ones. And we listen to every single bit and we respond. The thing that I really love, and like I said before, we talk about. about this frequently is if you want to better yourself in life and you're going to have to invest and it is one of my biggest pet peeves is when people do not invest in themselves it's like Sean

we need your help I can't sell ice to a fucking Eskima right now I need you I'm like okay do you want group do you want one-on-one let's talk about what you need right oh that's too expensive I can't do that I'm just I'll come back to you when I make more money. I'm like, if you were making money, you wouldn't come to me. Right. And so to my, to my point is like, you know, you investing in yourself is just as far as the grief counselor, that's one thing. But investing in yourself to create a grief journal to help other people, that shit wasn't fucking free. I'm sorry. You, you have a publishing agent. You have, you have a launch crew, which I'm a, I'm proudly a part of. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much.

Okay. Get off me. I have some serious street credit. but you know like that wasn't free you know so I just I don't understand the mindset of people that don't want to invest in themselves you know they have that broken ass mindset and you know I don't want to give a give too much away of that right now but you know where do you think that comes from um as I sip in my one of my poo mug in my coffee I don't know guys the dishes are freaking dirty my late father was uh a go-getter. He was a top salesman in his industry. And he always made me feel like I could do whatever the heck I wanted to do if I just worked at it. And he was my biggest fan. And so when I had

this idea, I was like, this is a passion project. I'm not doing this to like, you know, make a gazillion dollars off of a book. But I believe that this is going to help people because it's helped me. It really is a passion project. And if I help one, person with this journal, then it was worth it. But I already know I'm going to help a zillion because it's helped me so much. And there's nothing like this out there. I've done my research. I've looked for it. So I created my own and I was using it for myself. What I was looking for, you know, you go on Amazon and you search for all the things, which by the way, you'll be able to get this on Amazon. You can just search for Good Grief Journal. But you can also go to my

Instagram and I'll have it there tomorrow because that's when it's. launches. But I'm excited for this to get this in the hands of people because I've simply just talked about it and people are like, I can't wait to get this for so-and-so, or I can't wait, I want three copies because this person, this person, and this person. And can I have one now? And I'm like, okay, there's a lot that goes into publishing a book. I had no idea. You have an idea. You meet with your publisher, your editor. You put your project in your brain comes out into this beautiful, I don't even, like, I don't even have it yet, but I will. And it's, it's incredible and I just can't wait for it to help other people like it's helped me.

I'm excited. I mean like I know I'm getting one. I know I'll get one from my wife and I'll get one from my mom. So you can count me in for three copies. You know, I think what you've done here, I know what you've done is you've created something that everybody can relate to. You know, again, people want somewhere where they can go and already made template to where, you know, hey, this is the recipe to exercise your grief, to get through your grief in a, in a constructive way. Because what I found is people complicate things, right? People will sit there and like, well, how do I, how do I do this? Like, I don't know how. Somebody show me what to do. When really they already know what the fuck to do in their minds, but they're complicating it

because they don't believe in themselves. So, you know, I really love, I really love what you've done here and in 100% you led with passion. I mean, and again, you know, nothing you ever do, Lori is motivated by monetary gain. And that is why you have been so successful in your business. And that's why you're going to be very successful as a published author. And I truly believe, I truly believe that this is only the first book for you. And I also believe that you will begin to crank up that podcast again because every minute that you don't I'm going to hold you accountable right on the air

right. I'm always going to be there and be real. If you don't do that podcast again, you're taking from somebody. I've already been asked my people for a season two. So I'm excited. We're going to launch this and then maybe we'll lead into that. But exactly what you just said about people know

exactly what to do. They just don't take the time to do it because they don't have have the time. When they would make the time, then the rest of the day would actually be better. And that's the whole point of this journal is like literally five minutes every day, five minutes. And I know I've mentioned high achievers a lot here. But like if you want to be the best version of yourself, we're not competing with anyone else. Maybe you are. Maybe you're competing for, you know, some rank in your job or whatever. But like the person that you should be competing with is yourself. Be better than you were yesterday. And something like this tool, this good

grief journal can help you be better with your grief. Because right now it can guarantee you that you're not being good with your grief. You're not giving it the attention that it deserves because you don't think it deserves attention. Grief is a whole lot of love with no place to go. That's what grief is. And this journal allows you to put the love in a place. Instead of it building up and feeling like a weight literally on your chest and your shoulders and you're moping around, you're getting it out every day in the journal and you've faced your grief. You've given your grief attention every single day, give it a little bit of attention and it won't bother you the rest of the day. And when it does bother you, you can be like, I already gave you the attention today. I'll get back with you

tomorrow. And then tomorrow, you give it the attention again. It's just like every thing in life. Your dog needs attention every day. Your grief needs attention every day. It's part of you. once you have it in your life, it's never going away. And this allows you a place for it to live instead of on your shoulders. I love it because it's a way to manage it, you know, an effective way and in a constructive way like we mentioned before. And it's funny because you mentioned like, you know, we're talking about, you know, you know what you need to do, right? And I mentioned it and then you echoed it. But that goes for everything in life.

People aren't doing what they need to do on a daily basis because they're fucking avoiding it. You know, because it's too hard. Or, you know, I don't know how or is this going to work. So the only way you know is by putting it into action. You know, it's the same thing with sales, right? You know, as far, you know my methods on sales coaching. Like, this is what you need to do. And you know what?

This isn't rocket science. This is proven. Just go do it. But people like to talk their way out of everything. And that is true for grieving properly. That is true for their career. That is true for starting their business. It is true for writing their book.

it is true for you guys out there listening when you start a podcast and be an influencer of some type in the world and help people, you will talk yourself out of it. The other thing that people like to do is get permission from other people. Fuck that. Like, fuck, they don't know you. Like, your own parents don't know you the way you know you. Get out there and do you. Live your life because we never know what it's going to end. We need to be living in the moment right now. Life is not something that you can just be reactionary. You have to take action on a daily basis. And that's one of the things about you, Lori, that I see on a daily basis is that you take action and everything in your life. You take action in your marriage, first thing in the morning.

Like, let's rewind. That is the most, that is the one, that is the very most thing that I admire about you is what you and Robert do at five o'clock in the morning. Like, that makes me want rip this whole podcast studio out, go build a studio somewhere else and build a wait room so me and my wife can work out together. I mean, you're leading from the front and I appreciate you for that. I applaud you. Thank you. I appreciate it. I mean, it's definitely not easy one thing at a time because you can't, like people always say, oh, you have your shit together. You have this. And it's like, it's a work in progress. You can't, people are like, okay, I want to do what you're doing. And I'm like, whoa, that's a lot of things. Let's get started with like one thing, right? Let's do this.

why this journal is so great because it's five minutes. Five minutes a day do this. Then what other areas in your life do you need help? Do you need help with fitness? Do you have weight to lose? Do you want to get healthier? Do you want to spend more time with? Because I can tell you right now, when I gave my grief, the attention that it needed, everything else in my life got better. And whatever it is in your life that is holding you back, give it the attention it needs, and everything else will get better. my marriage was actually suffering at one point because my grief was so heavy and it was taking over and I was and I talk about this on my podcast. I was expecting my husband to fill the shoes of my dad and my mom and that was not fair. That took me a long time to realize that like he can't do that. He's my husband. He's not my mother. He's not my father. So it was like I had lost two best friends, but like I still had the one right next to me that was my best friend. Why am I meeting him up about it? So giving my grief the attention that it deserved really helped our marriage and we talk about it. And he, you know, he's the typical person on the other side.

And if you're listening to this and you know somebody that's suffering with grief, he didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to act. And when you're around someone that just loses someone, the best thing that you can say is, I don't understand what you're going through. But if you want to talk about it, I'm here. Because I can tell you right now, they want to talk about it. They do. They don't want to keep it inside.

And if they don't want to talk about it yet, that's what this journal can do. They can talk about it with themselves. They can open up the journal and they can write and get it out in the journal and then maybe talk to you. It's going to be a great gift too. For someone that you know is struggling and you don't know what to get them, I get I get asked all the time about books. And I have a list of books that will help you get through your grief. But this is going to be one that you can give as a tool, a working tool to help them, right now because there's a lot of books out there that help you with grief that they're not ready

for i have a friend that just lost someone last week and her friend was like what book should i tell her to read and i was like nothing it is way too fresh she needs to live each day but this would help her right now oh absolutely absolutely i'm excited i'm excited laurie this has been amazing i cannot wait for this to come out um for those of you listening to this show I will put it into the show notes, but you're going to be able to get it on our Instagram and on Amazon. So, you know, again, it'll be in the show notes where you can just click it and go buy it. Really, really, also, too, people in Southwest Florida, this also might be good for you. I mean, we just went through some tragic losses.

A lot of individuals lost loved ones here, did a hurricane, they lost their homes, islands that were the staple of southwest Florida tourism like Sanibel Island, Captiva, Ford Myers Beach, all gone. This is something, too, that you guys could pour into to help you manage what you're going through. So I want to acknowledge that, too. Grief could be a loss of a house. It could be anything.

So loss of an island, loss of culture. So my love and respect goes out to everybody. that was affected by this hurricane and affected by tragic loss of their loved ones. And with that being said, Lori again, thank you so much. We're going to land the plane right now. I have two quick questions for you. Don't have to be long answers. But how can my audience best support you?

Oh, my goodness. I'd love for you to go follow me on Instagram at Lori Miggins. That's it. Just one, my name, no periods, no underscores, no slashes. and buy this, buy this journal for someone. Get a few copies. It'll make a great Christmas gift. But share this because it's helped me so much.

And I know it's going to help you or them. I love it. Very simple. Now, how can I best support you? Just our friendship. I feel like I've known you for years and we've known each other for about four, five, six months. Yeah, something like that. I don't even know if it's that long.

but it seems like we've been in each other's lives for years. Continue to teach people to be determined. Like I literally love that word because I'm a mom of three. I used to be a teacher. And teaching the world to be determined to move forward with whatever the heck they want is what life is all about. Don't just sit back and watch life go by. Actually make choices and be determined to do what you want to do. Go for it.

If it's been a little thought in the back of your head, like get that thought and like move forward. Do what you need to take action, whether it's to give your grief some attention or freaking go for that huge goal in your business or fix your marriage or whatever. Go for it. Because the only person that can do it is you. I love it. I love it. You heard her. And I commit to that for sure.

So all right, guys, listen. Thank you so much for listening today. Don't forget to go to her Instagram. Hit follow. Again, it'll be in the notes. buy her journal for yourself and for whomever else may need it. Until next time, guys, I love you so much. Be good.