Determined Society with Shawn French | Adversity & Mindset - How He Lost $300M and Came Back Stronger

Episode Date: June 2, 2025

Serial entrepreneur Derik Fay joins Shawn French to share the raw, unfiltered story of how he built 33 companies from the ground up after growing up in poverty. From losing $300M and facing betrayal to defining what true leadership and integrity look like, this episode is a masterclass in accountability, resilience, and long-term vision. If you're an entrepreneur or dreamer, don’t miss this. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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Message privately with everyone. Learn more at WhatsApp.com. If there was a mashup of all the times on my show that I said, I should have listened to my wife. This would be probably the fucking intro to it. She said, keep being yourself and you will end up where you belong. Yeah, over a long enough time horizon, it's factually true what your wife said. Everyone wants to talk about how do I scale my business?

It's not about getting bigger. You have to get better before you get bigger. And if you get better, everything just gets bigger on it. And it sucks because it's a long journey. What is the expression? Everybody overestimates what they can do in a year and underestimates what they can do in 10. It's 10 years. If you're 18, that means you're 20.

If you're 28, it means you're 30. If you're 30, it means you 48. Who gives a shit? Sean, French, what up? I put my all and everything I'm doing. Up until it's done, I'm me for the entirety. I'm putting overtime. I'll be working.

Just know I'm a go for mine because I earned it. They watch and I know it's time. I confirmed it. A whole society determined. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to another episode. I am your host, Sean French. Today I have with me a good friend, Derek Faye, who is a serial entrepreneur,

been an entrepreneur for most of his life. In 2002, he founded 3F management, which is a venture capitalist company, and this guy has built over 30 businesses and helped them exit successfully with 7, 8, 9 figure payoffs. He is a dude that, you know, I hold dear to my heart, good dude. And the thing that I love about Derek is he started from nothing. He was born into poverty and made his way. And by 2003, he was worth some amazing, obscene amount of money. But the thing that I love about him mostly is you would never know it. Humble dude.

Super excited to have him on the show. Derek, welcome, buddy. My friend, we finally did it. Dude. We totally have been trying for, what, three years? Three years. So it's funny because I walked in. I walked in the team's like, you got Derek today, right?

I was like, you jace did. And I'm like, yeah, man, he's like, dude, long time coming. Holy shit, man. How long did that take? I was like, well, you know what? Man, I could think of it like that. Yeah. Right?

Because, you know, we've been talking about it for quite some time. him, hey, let's do this. And then it just didn't work out. And then, but what I really boiled down to, I was like, no, this is when it was supposed to happen. Everything happened. You know, because now the show is in such a different place than it was three years ago. I'm like, why burn the interview if it doesn't need to be where it's at right now? So I'm Jack to have you on at this point, man.

Sometimes, Sue, the easiest things are the hardest things to get done. Yeah, dude, seriously. Yeah, we'll do it, we'll do it. And then, you live like 20 minutes from each other. And, you know, it's almost like, I see people. in, you know, West Virginia more than I see you. So it's just like, it's crazy. But dude, so what's been going on, man?

Well, first, thank you for the last part of the intro because the thing that I pride myself the most, which is you said that you wouldn't know it. And because of where I, and we'll get into all of this, because of where I started, a lot of my peers don't act in accordance with what I think a successful man should act. And so thank you for that compliment.

What do you think? Let's go, let's dig into that one. Let's unpack it. Like, what is the disconnect, right? Because, you know, they don't act in accordance of what a successful man looks like. Yeah, well, everybody's opinion is different on that. Sure. But I think, in a nutshell, I think fast success creates no appreciation and, you know, a slow success for guys like us who came from nothing.

And although it may seem like I'm an overnight success, if you're an overnight success, we know the truth. Yeah, dude. It was not years, not a decade. It was decades of ridiculously hard work. And just like working out or hitting a baseball or riding a bike, there's a muscle memory to success. What I mean by that is someone that has put in the years,

we understand and remember what it was like to be without, do not have, at least for myself, I was looked down on it at a period of my life. I was told I was ridiculous. I was told I could never do it. So you better believe I would never do that to somebody else. And so that for me is what a successful man is. Rinse takes your laundry and hand delivers it to your door, expertly cleaned and folded.

So you could take the time once spent folding and sorting and waiting to finally pursue a whole new version of you. Like tea time you. Or this tea time you. Or even this tea time you. Said you hear about Dave? Or even tea time, tea time, tea time you. So update on Dave. It's up to you.

We'll take the laundry. Rinse. It's time to be great. Oh, that, man. And I agree with that because I look back at the beginning of my journey and building the show and building the brand. It's like there was so much noise surrounding the fact like, who the hell are you to do this? That's right.

Right. Right. Who are you to do this? Like, what gives you the right? That's right. And at some point, I thought to myself, like, they might be right. They might be. True.

but it's not any of my business or what they think about what I'm doing. I'm going to execute this the best of my ability and we'll see where it ends up, man. Because you know, you mentioned something interestingly like I would never treat somebody like that because that's how I was treated. When I was starting like, like man,

there's a lot of different people that come to me now. And a lot of times when you grow to a certain point, you say, oh my gosh, my DMs won't stop. Like I, everybody wants something for me. You're complaining about the things that you always wanted. I love it. Yeah, I do. I love when somebody on the other side of the world goes, dude, like, can I talk to you?

What a great compliment. I'm like, absolutely. This is great because I get the opportunity to help them see things differently. Yeah. Because a lot of times when you start, especially now because it's so visible as social media, there's so much noise in people telling you you can make $100,000 in 30 days. Right. Which isn't true.

Typically. it's not, right? Like in most cases, that's right. In most cases, you have to have a portfolio in different things moving in certain areas in a flow

and in everything like that for something like that to happen or a fine-tuned business that has massive flow, massive systems. But, you know, I like to be there for those people who call me

and say, it's been five months. I've tried everything. It's a dead end everywhere. I said, dude, five months. Exactly. Yeah, that's not a long time. It feels like an eternity when you're in it, though.

It does. Right? Like, if you think back to when you just started, yes. How did you, did you ever have moments like that where you sat there and said, I feel like it's been forever, but then you had someone else come in and tell you like, hey, man, look, you're just getting started. Yes and no. So I've had those moments and still have those moments, but I didn't have, and this is not, I didn't have anybody. Everybody has influence. Everybody has. But, you know, but. You know, I'm going to age myself in 46. It wasn't like it is now where there were coaching seminars and mentor. It wasn't what it is. In fact, entrepreneurship was a curse word. You were a fool if you wanted to be an entrepreneur. Like, how dare you want to do something so silly?

Yeah. And so it was just completely different. And it's funny, you say the five-month thing, there was a, for an example, there was a space that I was negotiating on when I was building the gym franchise that I'm familiar with. Yep. I negotiated on that space for four and a half years. Every six months, I went back. It was still empty.

I said what I wanted. We got closer. So the delayed gratification. And then fast forward to about a week and a half ago, I've got a partner in my credit card processing company. And they were freaking out because the deal was taking more than 30 days. Like there's no way this is going to happen. It's been 30 days.

And so that's the dichotomy between a young entrepreneur and a seasoned entrepreneur. And I don't. You can, you can, just like a dad telling an 18-year-old boy, hey, son, if you do this, this is going to happen. It doesn't matter. You have to experience it for yourself. Yeah. Otherwise, it doesn't really, it doesn't marinate. It just doesn't sit with you the way that experience gives you that insight.

I agree, man, because it's like, you know, deals that take 30 days, that's transactional. It's arbitrageeering, in my opinion. You know, and so when we look at, you know, like you said, four and a half years, to negotiate your space, right? And then from that point, it grew massively. You were very successful in your exit and everything like that. And I think it's to the credit of, you know, I read something on you is just you see things differently.

Like you're able to pick up on things that certain people aren't able to pick up an entrepreneurship and deal structure, et cetera. Can you talk on that for a little bit? Where it came from or how I look at things. Oh, man, both. Yeah. I mean, I think it started with my childhood. childhood. And so, you know, not to get too, too much into the weeds, and this is not a victim

statement, but it's a part of my DNA. I had a very, very difficult childhood. And when I say difficult, single mom, poverty, section 8, horrific abuse, like all of the reasons you could imagine to not become something. But it taught me a lot of things. It taught me resilience, but more than anything to answer the question, I started looking at the world completely different for completely different reasons than most people do. You know, a lot of kids, most kids, almost all kids at that age, I'm not worried about a lot of things. They're not worried about how do I talk to this adult so that he doesn't hurt me. You know, he walked in the door is that look on his face mean that he is intoxicated or not. And how do I respond? And so, you know, it took me years to really think through

this. And I believe that's really where I started to be able to read individuals, read situations, and interpret them in really, really quick time. And that has served me incredibly well throughout the years. And I think the second part is, I accept absolutely nothing at face value. And so when I say I challenge everything, it doesn't mean I'm that guy that's you're wrong. In fact, I always, in the one to say,

you know what you might be right. I enjoy, I'll always have a position. I'll always have an opinion and I'll always share it, but I'm always the first person that if you give me compelling evidence to the contrary, to go, that's fantastic. Let's go that direction. Okay.

I lost my train of thought there, but I think those are the two components that have kind of added up to me being called the deal structure guy. You know, so like if I'm brought in to be a shadow CEO or if there's a board deadlock, you've got a group of individuals highly educated, highly opinionated, and they all have one specific direction that they want to go. And as you can imagine, it's just a traffic jam. And so I'm very good at seeing through the noise and allowing everyone to feel heard, but gently, I'll just call it, purting sheep into the direction. You know, the loudest voice in the room almost never wins contrary to popular belief. And the guy that doesn't speak doesn't either. So there's a delicate balance to deal negotiation and communicating with people. And I teach my children, both my daughters, the number one skill in life is knowing how to speak to them.

and that doesn't really have all, it's not so much about what you have to say. Like I can sit with somebody at a bar, as I often do, and say, if we talk for 30 minutes, I talk for two minutes, and they leave that conversation saying, I like and trust that guy. Why?

Because you listen to the individual, and you bounce back and you follow the rhythm of what they want to communicate. Everybody's so intent on giving. Let me show you what I know. let me show you where you should go versus sit back, let them, let them get it out, and then it's a slow guidance. It's interesting because we're the same age. Yep.

You know, and I look at, you know, the things that you said about your background. There's a lot of parallels with mine, right? So, you know, I was pretty much raised the first nine years of my life by my mom and my grandma. And then, you know, later on, my mom remarried and became my dad, right? You know, it's like, he's my dad. But there was also a lot of. activity going on, you know, like when I was super young, going to churches, coming home with

boxes of food. Right? Mm-hmm. And not only that, once my mom met my dad, who was in the Navy, they would have parties constantly. So I was around all these adults. And I was trying to navigate, if I look back, I'm trying to navigate how to speak to everybody.

Sure. Right? And understand a world concept when I'm, you know, in my... Child. Yeah. Yeah. baby, and I'm sitting there in an apartment or, you know, and then eventually a house in my little play teepee hanging out and there's kegers going on and I'm sitting there hiding because I don't know

what's going on. That's right. Right. And I don't understand it. But what happened as I grew up, I was able to have conversations with anybody. And this was a skill that was back when my dad was reading me the riot act like, yo, dude, if you don't make it in baseball, what are you going to do? You don't have any other skills. You can't work with your hands. And I, you know, they used to make me angry. for a long time. Now I, now I embrace it and I, and I thank him for it because all he was trying to do is make me aware of maybe my shortcomings and what my skills were, which was baseball. But I said to him, I'm like, this is what I said to him in high school. I go, well, no, like, people like me and I can speak to anybody. Yeah. A very good conversation. He goes, you don't.

Incredibly undervalue skill. Right. But at that time, there wasn't this. Right. It's like, you can't make a living out of that, Sean. Like, what are you going to do? And so, anything that I did, whether it was coaching baseball, being a teacher, then working in payroll, then the medical industry, it was all this test. This is, this is the pre-work for this. So like, I see things differently, too, from a very creative standpoint on relationship-based stuff. Like, I always felt that if I can find relationships that are, the reciprocity levels high, I could survive. I can grow something.

That's right. And that's what's going on here. So like I see a lot of parallels and just the, you know, young boy trying to figure it out, like trying to understand adults, how to communicate. I think it, I think it served me. Absolutely served. You know? And you, and you crediting your father is an incredible trait that I treat that I see very,

very rarely, and I just call it accountability. Like, no matter what happened to a, you know, us, what happened for us, whether it was good or bad. We have control over what we do with it in the future. And I don't hear that spoken to enough. So, good for you. Yeah, I mean, I think there's, you know, and I've been caught up in the other side of it, too. Like, you have to go through it to get to it.

Dude, it was. I mean, I was. It was funny because I was at Jason's deli with my family, you know, my three kids and my wife. Yeah. And it was, I remember the day. It was September 28, 2024. Okay. I had talked to my dad in years.

He texted me. Hey son, happy birthday. I'm like, my birthday's in a month. Well, he's early to the party. He's really the party. I was like, dad, I was like, hey, thank you. But today's in my birthday. October 28th's my birthday.

Yeah. And he goes, yeah, October 28, 1979. I said, no, 1978. But I'm like, what's up? And he goes, well, I'm in the hospital. You know, I just, I wanted to wish you happy birthday. I think really what was going on at that point, because at first it triggered me.

Sure. Then I got curious, like, what's going on? Yeah. And he goes, well, I'm, you know, I have an infection. I potentially might have to have my foot amputated. So this guy sitting in a hospital bed, potentially about to lose his foot, which he didn't. Thinking about me, wishing me a happy birthday, I could take it as he doesn't know when my birthday is. Or that he thought enough that he needed to wish me a happy birthday because he wasn't going to be able to that day because he's up his foot amputated.

So at that point, I realized something, man. like I really have to drop the bullshit. That's with my dad. Like, let's leave out all the things that I disagree with him about how, you know, he did things with my mom or things that he said or maybe words that he, you know, the word that he broke to me.

Sure. Many times. Very core level is my dad. So, you know, I don't think I understand work ethic without him. Sure. Because I don't think it would have been there.

Yep. You know. So like, same for me. That was the level for me. Yeah. Like that was a telling moment, you know, to your point of like, yeah, there's responsibility now, but for years, dude. Oh, I was a victim for a minute.

Oh, man. By a minute, I mean a reasonable period of time. Yeah. Yep. Because when you go through stuff, at least for me, I won't speak for anybody else. I felt like the fact that I had just survived meant I was special. And that was enough. Now the world owed me something.

Yeah. And that didn't work out. Doesn't because the world doesn't give a shit what happened to you. It's cold and it's heartless and it's unfortunate, but it's just factually true. And it really bothers me because I have siblings and family members and friends, and we all know lots of people who spend their entire precious life living as a victim and losing out on all of the beautiful things they probably could have done because of something that happened years ago, decades ago. And this is not me being insensitive and saying, you know, just let it go because it's not that easy. Trauma lives with you forever. but you do have the choice to push it aside and use it as something that makes you rise versus an anchor that pulls you down.

It's crazy you say that because, you know, I'm going to speak about it freely here. My mom when she was eight, she was driving in a vehicle with, you know, her mom, which is my grandma. Yeah. Her dad and her brother. So my mom was six, her brother was eight and, you know, her dad, you know, I don't know how old he was, probably in his 30s or 40s. And, you know, coincidentally, I looked just like him. and they were hit head on drunk driver killed my grandfather, eventual grandfather, and my uncle. My mom and grandma were thrown from the car

and my mom woke up in the hospital to the news that her father and her brother died in the car accident. Now, you know, there's that trauma is still so raw for her. And, you know, as, you know, growing up, it was always, don't talk about it because you'll upset Cindy, right? And so my mom grew up in this bubble to where now she doesn't know how to deal with it. It still impacts her and now she's in her 60s. And it's so difficult because I know she wants to take control,

but she just doesn't have the correct amount of tools, right? Yep. So, and it's also funny because, you know, when my grandma passed away in 97, from pancreatic cancer. We were at our house, you know, the normal stuff, you know,

you go through all the pictures and stuff, and I see this, this book, and I open it up, and these are pictures of me that I've never seen before, dude.

Sure. And it's a, one's me looking through a tree. Okay. Like, peaking, smile at my grandma, I'm wearing a purple sweater. The number's 32.

I'm like, interesting, very interesting. I'm like, my number's 32. Huh. I'm going to go, Seth, for this is, this is wild. Number meaning in baseball. Baseball, yes. Number 32. Purple didn't ring a bell then. Yep. You know, I was going into my freshman year of college, a junior college.

And, you know, then we go to the funeral and do all that. And, you know, I'm the pallbearer, which is mortifying for me, right? And she was being. buried next to my grandfather, Bobby Lee Doster. Mm-hmm. He was born in 1932. I picked that number. Everything sticks with us.

He was a catcher. Yep. I looked just like him, and his friends saw me play in junior college and I played just like him. Yep. Ended up going to play at LSU. There's the purple. There it is. Wow.

It's not surprising to me. I think if you really look back, everything that we're going through in some way gets through to who you become. I've had very similar experiences, but it's a great story. store. Yeah, it's just weird, man. I mean, I, you know, same thing with my father, you know, my mom, my grandfather. It's, and now with my children, I don't want to say genetic memory, but I will say that it's, it's almost mystifying to me what can be passed on. A very, you know, aside to what you just said, because I was younger, my grandmother until she passed at every event would tell

the story that her grandson, me, between the ages of, say, seven and 13 or 14 because we would do these skits at Christmas. The kids would get up and tell a horrible joke or sing or whatever. Everyone would have their skill. And I would get up in front of my family and tell everyone that when I get older, her words exactly, I'm going to be a multimillionaire. I'm going to move to Florida. And I said, I'm going to own a golf course.

I moved to Florida when I was 22. My first big project was a hospitality project in Fort Myers, with Trune Golf and I became obviously a multimillionaire. And so many times over. Well, you know, one time is enough. Yeah, exactly. More is just more. But so it is funny like these little things, but it also goes for the bad stuff too.

And so, you know, people have asked, how did you or maybe you too, how did you separate the good from the bad? And I don't know that I've got a good answer other than the fact that it, you just have to. this is a good segue into speaking about overcoming adversity right because you're talking about you know everybody talks about discipline you know and all that kind of stuff and doing the things that we need to do every day to move forward in life but to separate the good from the bad right doesn't matter like if we're really trying to go for something you know talk to the audience about you know how to get out of your how you get out of your emotions at certain points in the time

and still run the play man because I think that's where people struggle Well, for me, it's just, it's all about internal narratives. I have what I refer to as an absolute delusional confidence. And don't confuse that with ego, although I have probably as big an ego as any man you've ever met, but that's a gift I give to myself. I give humble to everyone I meet. You know me long enough to see it. A lot of people say it. They're all kind of, you know, not really living that path.

But my entire life, I've, I talked to myself relentlessly. You hear these guys talking about it, but I really, really have, even from a young age, I've created this reality in my mind as a young boy that really didn't exist. In fact, it was so far from the life that I was living. I tell James about it all the time. Like, if it was, if you watched my, if you watched a movie about my life, you would think, there's no way that could ever happen. That guy with those limited skills, with no formal education, could have never come.

from that point to this point. It doesn't seem real. And so when I look at that, it, I ask myself these questions and it really has all come down to my internal dialogue. I tell, and this is still true today. It's like you don't get to a point in life and all of your problems are fixed. And it sure isn't fixed by money. It is a constant everyday work. I suppose until the day that you're not able to think anymore until you're gone. I would assume. There are Still days multiple times a week where I'll say something to myself. And I say a lot of time, sometimes you have to tell yourself to shut up. And I do it constantly.

I'll say what I would consider a form of weakness. Like, oh, God, I'm exhausted. I'm not going to the gym today. And then the other voice in me will say, get your ass up and go. And I've just programmed myself to combat. I call it the cheerleader and the challenger. I've got both of them in my head. And they're fighting all day long.

They work in synergy. And if I had to pick one thing, that would be the difference in my life. See? So you're about to make a trade based on a friend's text. But which you do you listen to? Is it, we could buy a house in Tulum? Get optioning those options. We could lose everything.

Or let's do a little research. Get your head in the trade and make the investment decision that's right for you. Learn more at. finra.org slash trade smart. I'm in alignment with that, right? Because every single time there's something that I need to do. Like if I'm, you know, I need to get up at 4 a.m. to go to the gym and I wake up and my body's hurting a little bit. Your first voice is like, go back to bed.

It's like, man, you don't have to do that. Like, what are you doing? That's right. Your beautiful wife's next to you, sleep an extra two hours, man, you can go later. That's right. But if I do that, I'm breaking my word to myself. That's it. And what else am I going to short change?

Everything. throughout the rest of that day. So people think it's disconnected. No, no, no. One decision is going to lead to the next one and the next one. And if you can win, decision number one, by the time you get home from the gym, because we've had this conversation, you know, like, I'm at a point in my life. I have to go early, right?

And if I do that, by 6.30 a.m., I've got like a few different wins, man. And then the next task is so much simpler for me to complete, the hard ones, the hard conversation with business partners, the hard conversations with the kids and your spouse, like all these things become very doable because you're executing discipline in every single area of your life. And I just think that people,

and I know it's a generalization, right? But when people come to me and say, like, how do you do this? Because like, I just can't get up that early and go do it. I'm like, no, dude, you're telling yourself a story. You're letting one voice win. That's right. Don't listen to that voice.

That's right. prove them wrong. That's what's keeping you where you're at. That's it. There's too many people doing that. 100%. And I had a really interesting conversation. This was at the Sugar Shack.

I went there a couple weeks ago. First time I've ever been. It was actually really great, really great. Not sponsored by Sugar Shack. No, absolutely not. It can't be if you want it to be done. Price is right. That's right.

And a friend of my fiancé was there, a highly educated man, really great, charismatic. And instantly thought he was just an entrepreneur. he was telling me that he works at a company, he's been there for 25 years, he's cultivated all of the relationships, he has all the contacts, he laid out a business model,

and I'm like, you're gonna crush. He goes, and my wife told me I had to do it. So he had the wife's buy-in, and he goes, I just can't do it. And I said, let me recap.

And I listed all of the positives, and I said, so why can't you do it? So he looked at me. It's kind of like an awkward moment of silence, but I'm really good at sitting in silence. It'd be surprised how much comes out of silence. And he just said very quiet.

First time the whole night he was really quiet. He goes, I'm scared. And I go, I know of what? And he goes, what if I fail? And I go, 100% agree. I said, just do me a favor. Do this every single time you say, what if a negative. Sit in it, absorb it.

But then counter it with what if I don't. Every time you say what if and it's a negative, give yourself the opposite side. And over time, that's always going to win every single time. And he looked at him, he goes, you know what, man, maybe I'm going to do this. Whether he does or doesn't, that's not the point of the story. But even I still have that what if negative. But it's always outdone by the what if positive.

So funny, dude. Those thoughts go further in my head every day. Of course they do. Like I always think, what if this dries up? Like, what if this starts to suck? Right? If you're sitting that too long, you're dead. But then I go, then I laugh, I go.

It ain't gonna. That's it. Because we're gonna keep growing, we're gonna keep doing this. And like, what if it's massively successful, right? And I started thinking- It takes off in a way you could never imagine, but you stopped.

Every conversation is your, what if this is the conversation? Correct. You don't know. People don't know. And the cool thing that I love about that story that you told. And this is one thing that I wish I was there.

I'd have been like, Dude, you could be scared, but the one person that matters other than how you feel about yourself is your partner, your wife, and she's saying go. Go. Honor her. That's right. Go. That's right. Because if you don't, you're telling her you don't trust her.

He believes in you, man. But worse, you don't trust yourself. Oh. And in my humble opinion, if your wife doesn't think you believe in yourself. It's a weak position, bro. It's a bad spot. It's a very bad spot, right? There's a lot of risk in everything with this kind of stuff, right?

As you know, I left corporate American, you know, January of 2024. in all of 2024 is white knuckling it. That's right. I mean, like, at the end of 2024, before the, I mean, and James and Mike and all of them, no. Yeah. Like, before this took off, in December of 2024, I was taking interviews for leadership positions to go back to corporate America.

Because, like, I got to bridge the gap somehow. That's right. And then it didn't. In other way, that's not weakness. No, it's not, right? I'm thinking like, okay, I have a family. I have to make, okay, because I have to make sure this is, that's right, you know.

We have a responsible. Yes, I have to feed my children and they need insurance and all that stuff. So it was funny. They passed on me and they said, you're no doubt the qualified leader. Yep. But they're internal and we need to get the position to them. We'll circle back to you in three months when we have more head count and we'll do it. And we can split the team.

I was like, all right, I was bummed about it and thinking like, oh my God. What if I, what if this happens? What if that happens? And I think like, what if I just execute the next interview? And I kept doing that long enough and then it exploded. But that mindset is everything. And I think that's an overlooked statement that you made and grossly undervalue. Like, if that had happened to me, I would have said, that's probably the best thing that could have ever happened.

Like, whenever anything negative or bad happens, I instantly go. go, this happened because it was supposed to because now the next big thing. And all of my partners in business when they, when they first get into business to me, it mystifies them. Like this is the biggest deal. The company is going to 10x. It's unbelievable. Funds are escrowed. Oh, we got to do a sign. And then it falls apart. And everyone's like, oh, my God, what are we going going to do? And go, no, that's great. Because the best deal is the one that falls apart. It's the best deal. Because it was never going to work. And so if you look at it like that, And people are like, well, how do you continually cultivate whatever level of success I have over a 25 year period of time?

It's because you just got to sit back. If you execute correctly, if you treat people well, if you stay in the game and you stay positive, you never lose. Long term. I've lost plenty of times momentarily. Absolutely. We can talk about some big ones. That's okay, though, right? You've got to take the position that, A, it's my fault.

It's my fault that didn't work. Maybe I didn't present myself well at the interview. Maybe I didn't have what they need. I can fix those two things. Like distress is really, in my opinion, not having control. The feel of, oh my God, someone else's control of my life. Accountability and take that control back. Even in a bad situation, feeling in control is a million times better than feeling like,

I don't know what to do. Well, it's a power position, right? It's a position of power and confidence, right? So, like, if we, if an audience listening and watching, if you take one of the situations you're going through right now and you give it so much power to impact your emotional state negatively and eventually impacting your physical health, you're letting it win. That's right. But if you sit there and say, all right, like, Jocco says, good. Yeah. Good.

Now what? But now what? Like taking that and turning it into a positive, right? Because one of the things that people say is like, well, look, you know, it's easy for you to say. I knew you were going to say it's easy for you. It's not. Well, it wasn't. Right.

Nothing's easy until you do it enough time so that it becomes easier. Dude. Not easy because I don't know there's anything that any successful person does that is really easy. I hope not. Cultivated. It's practiced. It's pattern recognition. It's duplicity.

It's all of these things that on the surface looking at someone that's doing it looks, that's easy. Well, there's nothing easy in, well, there's a lot of things easy in my day now, but it took 25 years to get there. Because there's systems there now, right? There's a lot of internal system and external systems. Exactly. Right.

And there's a lot of failure built in. And there's a lot of lessons built in. Yes. So now what easy, I mean, you know, what's easy? What's easy? Like, whatever. Like, it's just execution. Yes, exactly.

It's like, okay, you know, these things that were hard for me before. I just deal with them quicker now. That's it. You know, and that's all it is. So that can be, you know, titled easy.

But, you know, for the people out there that haven't really, you know, acquired that skill yet, it's just you have to practice it. Like,

the first time? Yeah. Because your subconscious is screaming. Like, don't do that because your brain is wired to protect you. Agreed. And the moment you disobey

those programs is when your dome gets just fried. Yes. And then you move, right, and say, okay, I'm going to do something differently. I'm going to take this as a positivity. Or I'm going to go to the gym or have the hard conversation. You're like, oh, shit.

Yeah. That wasn't that bad. Agreed. Well, it's never as bad as you think it is. Yeah. And then I could do it again. That's right. And again.

Yeah. You know, there's a level like you're talking about, like, skill and, you know, the art of conversation in business. There's overcoming adversity. there's an intellectual aspect, obviously, too. But I think there's a high level of determination, too. And, you know, the show is called the determination. Well, yes.

So, like, what would you define determination in your words? In a word, relentless. I like to say relentless accountability. But in just a word, I'll go with relentless because we've already talked about accountability. And it doesn't mean you have to know when to also jump shit. That's a fine, part two, and that is so difficult because you have to put that, to get into a big position,

you have to have a bit of an ego. Yeah. And so then to be able to tell 100, 200 employees, hey, I'm your CEO, I'm your founder, things aren't going well. This is your last paycheck. That crushes your ego in a way that I can't really articulate. And I've been there. I've had to do it.

You know, I had a $300 million loss in 2022, and I had hundreds of employees. It was a source of great pride. And I had to do a call with all of my employees and tell them this was the last paycheck you guys are ever going to get. Okay. So that's an important thing to dig into, right? So as you just said, it was, you know, that right there was a hard thing to deal with. This just wasn't, forget the money. forget the fact that the business shut down

and you have to go on to the next thing, there's people's lives involved. How did you, because you're a good human being, you have a heart, how did you filter through that and how did you make that right in your own mind and just kind of like, hey, you know, like collateral damage. Like it's not as insensitive as that, but like this is part of it.

And now I have to work my way through this. What was that process like for you? Well, the reason behind it, maybe we'll circle back. The answer is accountability. I'm going to keep using these two words because really if I have two words in my life, that's one of the big words. But I made sure that everyone was paid for everything that they did.

And that meant taking a greater loss than I had to. I made sure that all of my vendors were paid, even though I didn't have personal guarantees on everything. And so I honored the reputation that I had built. So for me, I felt like I had done everything. I needed to do. I cleaned up my mess. And not everyone does that. And I'm not saying that people that do it or don't do it or right or wrong, but for me, it's the right thing to do. And because I did

that, the call went incredibly well. People were sad, but they were safe. And so that's my responsibility as a leader to take supreme accountability because I take accountability when I win. I stand on top of that with my arms up in the air. They're the opposite. But if you're not standing in front of your losses, then you are, I'll go far as a say, you're not just you're not a good leader, just not a good person. Fact. And then if you wonder why your career isn't going the way that it is, or if you wonder why I can have a couple major losses and still have people line up to stand by my side when I'm

doing something different, that is the reason. To me, do you know what, you know what I think about when you're talking about that? Integrity. Absolutely. I mean, you know, yes, accountability, relentless. but like I think there's a high level of integrity in that right so you know as we go through hard things in life you know losses you know shutting companies out people losing their jobs it's all very sad it is those those emotions though and the in the blowback is is manageable

if you handle it with integrity I agree and you did that right so that's something mean everybody's happy. No. We're satisfied. Right. But you have to clear the deck. That's the thing that you can control, though. You can't control how somebody else filters the information, takes it in, and uses it

and their mind, right? And some people may even disagree with it. But I feel really good about the way I behaved. And the part of this story that I think is important to hear, it's one thing if you build a company and you make some poor decisions or the market shifts, the reason in this case, my very best friend of third, best friend of 18 or 19 years, godfathered of both my children, performed a massive act of fraud and did a bunch of things that put our company in a position that it couldn't recover from. So I was well within my legal right to just go,

I didn't do it. Yeah. And not pay the vendors and walk away and throw him under the bus, potentially even put him into prison. But I sat back and thought about it and I just stood in front of it because it, you could argue it wasn't my fault, but everything's my fault if I want to be that leader. But it sure a shit wasn't anybody else's fault. Right. So yes, I agree there. Integrity, like, integrity is not something you get to choose when you show it off.

integrity is not just for moments when you want to go on social media and give someone a big tip. Integrity is when you tip somebody big every single time you go out to the point where people know you. Like integrity is every day. Integrity is not just when people are looking and it's the hard moments when everything about being that man of integrity really hurts. It hurts financially. It hurts emotionally.

but when you do it, it doesn't just change people's perspective of you. It changes your perspective of yourself. And so in one of my biggest losses, I found probably the greatest source of pride in myself. I love that, dude. Something great came of it, right? It did. And it was one of those things that you may not have known you needed that. But when it came.

Massive less than a lot of different level. Yeah. I mean, to me is like getting a great sense of pride in something and how you handle something, especially in the case of your partner and, you know, the godfather of your three two girls is you stood in front of it. Yep. You could have sidestepped it. Yep. Right? But you did it. You hit it head on. And I think one of the biggest things that I've learned in this journey and all the conversations that I've had with successful people like yourself,

it's like everybody massively successful takes those emotions and the things that are really shitty and they put their face right in front of that shift. Like you lean into it hard and that's what we've done here. It's like, you know, everything that I've done here, it's like, you know, everything that I've done here, like I have to lean into all the shit. Like, as bad as it hurts, I mean, there was moments, you know, back when you first met me and met the boys,

you know, like, some people say this off, but for me, it was just my emotions. Like, in between filings, I would be sitting at my desk crying. Because I was, I felt alone. Yeah. I felt that there wasn't any viable,

real business for people to come in, and invest in and for me to make money. My wife always told me this. And I foddered tooth and nail. And like, it's like, if there was a mashup of all the times on my show that I said, I should have listened to my wife, this would be probably the fucking intro to it,

is she said, keep being yourself and you will end up where you belong. You will end up where... It's a little profound. And I'm like, yeah, it doesn't work like that here. It doesn't work like that here in this, businesses, it's hard, it's this and that. Like, I need this, I need that. She goes, everything that you're talking about, sure, eventually that will come. Sure. But the best part

about your business is you and you don't get it yet. Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah, over a long enough time horizon, it's factually true what your wife said. You just stop too soon. Yeah. And for me, it was like, no, I came up for air. Yep. You know, there was a point in, I think maybe 2024, I took a four month, four month break. What's wrong with that? I didn't have. I didn't have perspective. Yeah. You know, it was, it was one day I was, you know, as you know, it used to be in the house and, you know, the family had to go upstairs.

They couldn't make a sound. Don't walk too loud. Don't talk to daddy. And then my daughter was like, my youngest was four at that time, just wanted to see her dad when she came out from school. But they got to come through the back door. They got to go upstairs. And, you know, one night, you know, some type of argument happened between me and my life.

I'm like, you know, the gist. of it was like, like, what do you, like, I'm doing this for you guys. She goes, you ask yourself a question. She goes, are you? And I got so mad. I was triggered. Yeah, man. You get mad.

And I didn't. When the truth comes, you get mad. Right. And it wasn't that I wasn't at the core of me, but I was, I was displaying it differently. Yep. Right? And the outward version of it.

And I, you know, my emotional regulation was a lot worse than. And I exploded. Yep. And she goes, okay, we're going upstairs. when you're done throwing your fit, we will have a conversation, why don't you go for a walk, whatever. Is your wife a therapist?

No. Okay. She's just a spicy Latina. You bet Jackie, you know, Jackie. So I just, you know, go for a walk or a lift and I'd come back and I just, I didn't have perspective. I was so worried about the revenue,

so worry about what I needed from somebody else to make this thing go. I was like, I can't record another show until I have perspective. Yeah. In the moment I have perspective, I recorded it again, and it's been week after a week. There hasn't just one, there hasn't been one delay. In fact, now we're two episodes a week, right?

So, but I work through those things, you know, those hard points have just taken a deep breath and coming back better. What a great. You know, I just said this summer the other day, talking about scaling a business, but the same thing with yourself. It's not about getting bigger. It's about getting better. Mm-hmm. Everyone wants to talk about how do I scale my business? I'm going to have two locations, eight locations, 12 locations.

It's not about getting bigger. You have to get better before you get bigger. And if you get better, everything just gets bigger on it. Internally, externally, everything. Everybody wants to skip all the hard works, all the steps. Like, we're not, I'm not, you're not, whoever is not successful because of what you see today. You're only successful because of all of the other horrific stuff that you had to push through to get here. You know, man.

You just got to become better. And it sucks because it's a long journey. Like, this social media nonsense, I talk about it all the time. Like, it's just, it's not going to happen that way. It just isn't. No. And listen, it doesn't mean that it hasn't happened for some people. But fast money leaves pretty quickly.

It's a long journey. And, you know, I think, what is the expression? Everybody underestimates what they can do in a year and underestimates what they can do in 10. 10 years. So someone says, what do I, how much time do I really need to put into whatever the thing is? It's 10 years. Like, that's the number. Now, is it maybe seven or four or six?

Yes. But in your mind, you need to commit to 10 years. And if you're 18, that means you're 28. If you're 28, it means you're 38. If you're 30, it means you 48. Who gives a shit? It doesn't matter. It's not a long time.

Dude, it's funny because, you know, I look back at it, right? Yeah. And there was moments where I think this should have happened already because of everything. I was so naive when I got into this space and I believed everything I saw on social media because that's just my heart. Like why would somebody lie about this stuff? It doesn't make any sense.

Just because the type of person I am, I wouldn't do it. So I'm very honest with my journey, right? Of all the shortcomings and all the other stuff. But like, you know, I started thinking in terms of, okay, wait a second, decades, right? Like, where am I going to be in 10 years? So right now we're having conversations. like me and my team every Tuesday morning at 9.30, we have a team call.

My nephew, J.T., was there and watched the whole thing today. We're talking about things now that are five years out. Sure. So, like, in five years, I'm looking for this deal. That's right. It's 10 years. Yep. It's 10 years.

Sorry, nine years. Yep. Will it happen sooner than five? I think so. Yeah, maybe. But if not, that's fine. That's right. But the better part of a decade is what you really need to build something massive.

I agree. And for people listening, that doesn't mean that you, I want to be whatever in 10 years. You just sit and wait. Like an astronaut. It's been eight years. I call it reverse engineering. So if my big goal is 10 years, now that shows me how to reverse engineer and what I need to be doing as soon as even tomorrow. Like you take out a piece of paper and say 10 years, nine years, seven years, five years, three years, one years, one month.

And you build out that model. I did this as a young man. I built out what I wanted to become. and I did it systematically. Just like if someone said to me, and this is where my delusional conference come, can you do this? And if I don't have the skill,

I know I can do almost anything in 90 days. Because if 90 days, I need to do this thing, I need to run a whatever, a five-minute mile. Day one, I'm going to go run a mile and see what my time is. And now I know I've got 90 days and I can track my progress every single day. And you can do that with any skill,

any goal, anything you want to do in life. it only seems impossible when you sit there and you look at the top of the goal and go, geez, there's just, you know, it's just not even, it's not even possible. But it is when you break it down into small steps. Because what you're talking about now, right, is getting a base level. That's it. Where am I today? Where am I at right now?

That's right. And then like planning out your strategy and then your daily strategic activity to get to that 90 day goal. And so let's talk about like, you know, you look at that big goal, right? Like the five minute mile. you're never going to get it. You're never going to get it unless you run that mile that day, that day one. In 12 minutes or nine minutes or whatever. Yeah. And then start your process.

And then every single day, the micro movements. Like, okay, maybe I need to, oh, I need to have less food here, more food here. That's right. Implement this. Do some sprints. Maybe some cross-training days to rest. And then you start to get better. And so you're seeing all of your work on a process that you're sticking to and being disciplined.

And then all of a sudden you hit that goal. And everybody goes, oh my God, you run that. You hit five-minute mile. What's the feeling? I go, not as good as this stuff. That's right. Because that's where you're made. That's it.

My daughter's boyfriend said something to me. This is like about a year ago or at the dinner table. And he said, oh, you were an athlete one day or one time. Yeah. I was so offended. One time? First of all, I'm always an athlete. I was so affected by that statement.

So I went right out. Adam. I go, pick a sport, pick skill, let's go 90 days. I said it. 90 days. Dinner's over. So he goes, basketball. Well, I go, you're six, seven. Like, let's get real. Yeah. But I'll still accept if that's the only challenge. Yeah. So I use this example now because it happened. He said, well, run a mile so he can go as fastest. So I go, perfect. Done. Now I ask my daughter, like, what is he? Because he runs. He doesn't crack. And he, I think it was like a six, six, six minute, five second mile, whatever was. So I'm like, okay, I might be in trouble here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I did that. I ran my mind. I'm not a runner. I'm a body. I'd work out. Yeah, I lift heavy thing.

I've put him down. That's it. Yeah, exactly. And I think my first one was like 9.13. I was like, oh, man. Oh, man. But you know what? This comes to me being little sociopathic and relentless when I get locked into something,

which is a skill. My next day was 9. Instead of 913, it was 9.11. And I just. Cut cutting off seconds, second, seconds. I always thought we won't get to whether I beat him or not. I do want to know your time. You're going to tell me your final time.

Well, I didn't beat him. But I went from 913 to like 637 or 642 in 90 days. And he will never call you an athlete a long time ago ever again. Well, it did open up a lot of trash talking, which has been really great for the relationship. Regardless. I think the example is in there. you know, this, the idea that every day you can be, and people underestimate the value of an inch,

the value of a second, the value of whatever it is. And I have built a career on that kind of model. This is where I want to go. This is where I am. What do I have to do to get that? And I think it might have even started with baseball. This is something you probably can.

Like, how do you get better hitting? We'll take a thousand swings. How do you get better feeling? Take a thousand ground balls. So it's that simple? I just have to do the thing over and over and over and I get better. And that was ingrained into me. Hey, you know, your time is down.

Well, shit, I got to do sprints after practice. Or I get to run more. Like, it's just, just you need to do the thing. It brings a certain level of confidence, right? When you, when you're out there executing something every single day, you gain a certain confidence that not a lot of people have. Yes. Right?

Because you're putting something out there. and you're doing the hard thing and staying disciplined and doing it when most people are like, all right, well, I did it five days in a row. Right,

I'm never going. I'm, well, no, or just, I'm tired. Right. No.

Who cares? No. No, you do the thing, right? And it's so funny because a lot of people, they focus on the,

well, how do I do this? Like, what do I need to do? It's like, yo, take initiative and just run. Just,

you know, or, you know, that the kid out there that, doesn't have the proper instruction, right, to field a ground ball a thousand times the correct way, but goes and does it,

is going to outwork and beat the person that has the skill because once that person gets even close, a good coach can make that person into a superstar. Because they'll outwork them any day of the week, right? Action beats in action 100 out of 100 times. Yeah. That's it. And we're going through that now with my daughter who's 18,

you know, the next stage of life. I'm going through all of these very profound thought, things I never thought I would with, you know, Sophia turning 18 and, you know, my whole life, you know, you turn 18 and get out and go figure out the world. And now I'm a father. I'm like, I don't remember being scared. And I'm not scared from my daughter,

but I think to myself, I don't feel like I'm done parenting. I feel like now this is a whole new phase of parenting that should be occurring. and it's really, it's really interesting to go through as an entrepreneur and she has huge ambitions of being an entrepreneur

and taking dad out and showing me what's up. That's great. Doing all those things and so I'm going through this balancing act of how much is too much help, how much is not enough,

I am still her father, I'm not her boss, I'm not this, and so, you go through these phases in life that are very interesting. Those are interesting points And like I've got, you know, six, seven years before Bobby gets there, right?

And I have a year old daughter and, you know, a six-year-old daughter. But the thing that I'll tell you about this specific child, Sophia, you said it on Air, so I'll say it is, is I don't think you have to worry about her. Oh, I know. Because I remember having a conversation with you, and this is something that I want to share with the audience, maybe a year or two, maybe two years ago. Okay. You bought her her first car. Yeah. And, and, you know, she could have probably went and picked, like, I want that Mercedes.

I want, you know, this BMW. In fact, I offered it. What does she want? You made me choke up. I say one of my proudest moments as a father, maybe as a human being. She said, I thought about it, and I know that you'll buy me in Mercedes or BMW or whatever,

but I want this car. She showed me. Now, it was a Chevy Equinox, not a cheap car by any standard, but by the measure of what she could have simply by asking for it, I would say a humble choice.

And I said, okay, why? And she said, well, I thought a lot about it and I don't want the kids at my school to think I'm a rich,

spoiled kid and the first time I get a nice car, I want to be the one that bought it. I mean, I'm done. I did my job as a parent.

Do you see my point? Like, that's the thing. That was probably one of the turning points because that's, I think it's probably when I met you, maybe a little bit before that. But then I, we had that conversation and I'm like, hmm, wow, that, that's, that's a good dad. Like, obviously, somewhere along the lines, that awareness was instilled in her.

And it, and it created a bigger, you know, greater respect for you. So that's a pretty damn cool story, man. And like, that those are the people, those are the types of individuals that go out and know that the world doesn't own. shit. That's right. And they work. And they work, they work, they work. And then they end up on top because they're willing to do the small things. That's right. You know? Wow, man. So she's, I share one more since I'm a proud dad. She, she's sourcing companies that potentially I can invest in and she can run. And so she brought me a $75 million tech company that was for sale. A little, you know, ambitious. Yeah. But the point of the story is I looked at her and I chuckled.

and I said, I made a mistake. I said, what do you know about a tech company? She looked into my soul, grabbed my soul by the neck and said, what does that matter, Dad? Because I've taught her so emphatically to get in the game and figure it out. If I had written the check, she would have had zero hesitation to walk into a $75 million tech company like, I'm the new CEO and I'm figuring shit out. So it's a skill man

That's a gift pro that's a good story I might call it crazy In fact most do She's not going to college She's chosen not to go to college She has chosen to repurpose her tuition That I was going to pay To go towards the first company that she chooses

I asked her what company she wants And she said I'm too young to decide So she's looking So it's levels of maturity that I'm not even sure I have at 46 But it's But it came from somewhere. And trust me, I don't deserve the credit.

I don't think any parent deserves or doesn't deserve where their kids end up because there's evidence that you can be an incredible parent to have a horrible kid. And have a horrible parent become an incredible kid. And so that's me just not taking anything from my daughter. Right. Had influence from me for sure. She's seen me persevere and struggle and succeed. Sure. She also could have just been a spoiled brat too.

So that's her. That's not me. When it comes to what your family eats and treats, drinks, you know your choices matter. You're the expert because you know what fits your life. And getting it right starts with good information. That's why America's beverage companies are sharing more information about our ingredients at good to know facts.org.

No spin, no judgments, just the facts straight from the experts for more than 140 beverage ingredients. Visit good to know facts.org. So that brings up a topic, right? So the American way, societal norm, do good in school, get good grades, go to college, you know, graduate from college. Yep. You know, in some aspects, it makes sense. If you're going to go play sports, you got to go to college unless you're going to get drafted.

Like, cool. Yeah. But there's more and more entrepreneurs now that are becoming more comfortable with their children saying, I don't want to go to college. I want to build business. Sure. That, like, I'm okay. Like, for me, like, like, for me, like, if if, you know, my kids go, like, and they, they see what this is and this continues to grow,

I don't want to go to college. I want to learn the family business. I want to start something on my own. I'll be like, all right, dope, let's do it. Yeah. Now my wife, on the other hand, you know, comes from, you know, Kito Ecuador, a third world country, right? And the only way out of Kito was for her to get straight A's in this public school so she could get to the states. So there's a different value structure there.

And I respect it. But, you know, it's becoming increasingly. normal for children that want to learn entrepreneurship, stick around, don't go to college and they learn. Yeah, I've always taken the position of how about we just let the kid decide what the kid wants for. How about that, huh? What an amazing thing. How about that? And I've gotten a lot of criticism by everyone, my old partners, administration at schools.

I don't want to say that I don't care about education because I think there are parts of education that are essential. And I'm not defining education as book smart, street smart, just education in general. But all I really want from my daughter is for her to be incredibly happy. And if that means that she is a Fortune 500 CEO, awesome. That means she's a Starbucks barista and she's incredibly happy. Awesome. If that means she's a mom of three and her husband is supporting her, awesome. Like I've never had, I've had incredible hopes and dreams from my.

daughter with no specificity ever. I like it. Right? And I think that's a mistake parents make is they decide who their kids should be or worse, they decide who they can't be. And like we talked about kind of come full circle, stuff sticks with you. So my whole life, my girls have always, hey, dad, what do you think I should do? What do you think of this?

And almost zero percent of the time do I give a straight answer? Sometimes it frustrates them because it has never been my job to teach my daughters what to think I've always looked at it as my job to teach them how to think. And so hot button topic, like when it came to religion, my children had chosen their own religion. When they were very young, I gave, I talked to them about options. I said, there's Christianity, there's Catholicism, there's Buddhism, there's atheism, there's the Big Bang, there's all of these things.

And we got these deep conversations about each of them. Because who am I? And this is going to be trigger for a lot of people, but I have my. my beliefs, but that does not mean that that is what my child's belief has to be. And that's so much more than me just saying, I don't want to want to make a decision for my kids. I'm trying to teach them from a very, I taught them to a very young age how to analytically think about topics and decide for themselves. I empowered my kids at an age that most kids aren't empowered at 18, 19, 20, 30. Like, wow, wait a minute. So I'm little, but I still have the power to think through a topic and

make a decision for myself, I think it fundamentally changed the way that they think. I would agree with that because I, you know, the education system here in America is designed to just base the students worth on how well they take a test. They don't really teach them how to think. I agree. Right. And it's funny because you mentioned religion and I'll probably trigger some people with this too. But like, you know, I'm just going to say it because it's real. It's raw. you know, my wife said at one point, we have to get me, we need to get me a baptized. I'm like, why? Yeah.

She was, well, because, you know, she's. My family did it to me. Yeah, I go, but she didn't choose it. Right. So, like, I'm always big. I'm big on and not poo-pooing Catholicism. Like, I respect it. But, like, you know, for me, it's like, someone needs to choose that.

I agree. You know, because then they own it. That's right. Like, I made my choice in college. I own it. Yep. right? And I want to give the opportunity for my children to do the same thing, man. So it's like, again, that is a hot topic and a triggering thing. Because we're not debunking anything that we don't,

or we don't believe in it. I'm just like, people have the right to make their own decisions. They should. That's right. And a lot of people will say, well, a child's too young to make a decision. Well, there are a lot of other things that we're allowing children to make their own decisions about that we won't get into. But this now I want to. Well, but again, I think it's, for me anyway, it was way bigger than religion or way bigger than this. You know, the thing I did that is hotly debated is I taught my children to challenge authority. And now, respectfully. Of course.

So, you know, if a math teacher, take an example from like fourth or fifth grade, treated them unfairly, my daughter was the one that would respectfully say, I don't think the way that you're treating me is fair. and the school called me and she was in trouble for it and I adamantly disagreed. And it's happened so often that they've just stopped calling me. They've done called Derek. They're so happy.

She's graduating. She's like, she's out of here, dude. They're out of it. Thank God. She makes too much worldly sense. Too much worldly sense. It's funny. So, because, you know, my little one will come home.

Yep. She's very empathetic. Yep. She feels everything. She's just incredible. Yeah. Very talented. And she'll talk about something

that happened during the day. And she goes, she's sassy. I don't think I was treated fairly there, and I think it was wrong. It's great. And I think, I think I need to say something. And my wife goes, honey, when you go and you say something to your teacher or if someone treats you poorly, I don't care who it is,

say, I don't, I feel there's another way we can talk about. Like, I don't like how I feel when you talk to me like that. Yeah. Can we try again? Like, she's six. It's huge. But, like, dude, I'm with you on that, though. But so many people squash that.

And if you don't think that that presents itself in your child when they're an adult, when they're afraid to speak up for themselves in really important situations, you're dead wrong. Yeah. You're going to incorporate situations. They're going to be used up working on weekends because they can't draw the boundary. Or with their partner or with their friendships or whoever. Yeah.

And so, I mean, a little bit of a tangent there, but it all does kind of tie in, too. Yeah. No, I love it because, like, this conversation has been, like, a wide variety of things, right? It's, it's about giving value and not judging what value we bring to the audience. And we talked about business. We talked about losses. We talked about process, accountability, all these different things. And we hit on parenting and, you know, how to, you know, overcome certain things.

And, and, dude, it's just been an amazing conversation. I just, you know, I don't want to leave the conversation. conversation without you talking a little bit about 3F management though. So can you talk about that a little bit? Because there's a lot of, you know, this show was an entrepreneurial show for so long until we switched to, you know, a different category. And we, and we've hung on to the audience. So, you know, there might be somebody out there that needs 3F management. Yeah, well, I'll try to make this as concise as humanly possible. I started 3F management in 2002. I called it a venture capital firm because it sounded fancy.

Really, it wasn't a venture capital firm at that point in the sense that I wasn't bringing in other people's money. I was building brands from the ground up. And I built over 30 of them, which when I say it every time, it seems incredible to me that that's true. I just exited my 33rd company two weeks ago in Texas. And then at the end of, say, 2019, I had owned 100% of all the companies. And so I had a lot of great people that worked with me because no one has ever worked for me.

Everyone has always worked with me. and that's been a mantra of mine for my entire career, and it's been very meaningful to people and to me. I like that. I decided that I wanted to start bringing in JVs. And so every company that I own for the past three or four years, I have not owned 100%. I've had really strong operational partners

and a variety of success, you know, for a variety of reasons. But that was kind of the benchmark. And so we gathered over the course of a three-year period, about 46 different brands and companies. And over the past 12 months, we sort and sold. And the reason that we did that is, as you can imagine, 46 different entrepreneurs, 46 different personalities. And a lot of times when they hear, whether it's my name or a founder or 3F manager

or venture capital, they believe that means you're going to get our resources, our time, our energy, our connections, and you're going to sit back and the company's just going to explode. And now that sounds silly to an entrepreneur, but it is so true. And so that's a lot of words to say that we are once again changing direction. We're going to now, I was just building and then I was just JVing. And now we're going to have a nice mix of both building corporately owned assets and being very choosy with the entrepreneurs that we partner with.

And so that's kind of the next iteration. We are agnostic to industry. I don't care what you're doing. I care how you're doing. I don't care how much money you may be making. today. I care about who you are and you fit in my ecosystem. And that's 3F management. I love it, man. I love it, dude. Thank you so much for coming on the show, man. Conversation at the gym. I know. Seriously, it's like this thing on. Hello. So everybody that just

listened to the show, watched it, do us a favor and share the show with somebody you know, love and trust that will get a lot of value out of Derek's stories and the things that he has explained that help him become as successful as he is in his life. So we appreciate you. Share the heck out of it. Until next time, stay determined. Telling I meet for the entirety. I'm putting an overtime. I'll be working. Just know I'm a goal for mine because I earned it. They watch and I know it's time. I confirmed. A whole society determined. The time is a little song from CarMax about selling a car your way. You want to sell those wheels. You want to get a CarMax instant offer. So fast.

Or like a month? Want to keep tabs on that instant offer. With Offer Watch. Want to have CarMax pick it up from your driveway. So, want to drive? CarMax. Pick up not available everywhere. Restrictions and fee may apply.