Determined Society with Shawn French | Adversity & Mindset - How to overcome CHILDHOOD TRAUMA with Dr. Robb Kelly

Episode Date: January 22, 2024

In this conversation, Dr. Robb Kelly discusses the importance of treating the cause, not just the symptoms, of addiction and mental health issues. He emphasizes the role of childhood trauma in shaping our behaviors and beliefs, and highlights the need to address past traumatic experiences to achieve lasting recovery. Dr. Kelly shares strategies for changing neuro pathways and beliefs, including creating positive daily routines and visualizing success. He encourages listeners to believe in themselves, ignore haters, and surround themselves with positive people. Dr. Kelly also emphasizes the importance of being a leader and making a difference in the world. In this conversation, Dr. Robb Kelly and Shawn French discuss various topics related to personal growth and self-improvement. They touch on the importance of recognition and validation, the challenges of interactions in modern society, the power of kindness and generosity, not being afraid to offend others, taking responsibility for our own emotions, and more. Dr. Robb Kelly shares valuable insights and advice throughout the conversation.   Key Moments: Treating the cause, not just the symptoms, is crucial for lasting recovery from addiction and mental health issues. Childhood trauma is often the root cause of addictive behaviors and negative patterns in adulthood. Changing neuro pathways and beliefs is possible through positive daily routines and visualization techniques. Believing in oneself and taking action is key to overcoming imposter syndrome and achieving success. Surrounding oneself with positive people and ignoring haters is essential for personal growth and happiness. Being a leader and making a difference in the world requires embracing challenges and taking risks. Recognition and validation are important for personal growth and self-esteem. Interactions in modern society can be challenging, and it's important to navigate them with kindness and respect. Acts of kindness and generosity can have a positive impact on both the giver and the recipient. Not being afraid to offend others can lead to authenticity and personal growth. Taking responsibility for our own emotions is crucial for healthy relationships. Dr. Robb Kelly provides valuable advice and support for those seeking personal growth and self-improvement. Connect with Dr. Robb Kelly: Social Media- https://www.instagram.com/addiction_doctor/ Website- https://robbkelly.com/ Work with Shawn: https://calendly.com/shawnmf32/strategy-call?month=2024-01 Join Athlete Narrative: https://ambassador.athletenarrative.com/shawn-french-join       Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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It's time to break away from the crowd and stand out. Start your athlete narrative today. What's up everybody? Welcome back to another episode. I am your host, Sean French, and today I have with me one of the most amazing and world-renowned recovery specialist, Dr. Rob Kelly. What's up, baby?

What's up, Sean? Hey, guys, good to see you all. Hang on to your seats because this is going to be a shocker. It is going to be a good one. I'm actually surprised it hasn't happened. I know. We have so many people in common and, you know, it's like, I see you everywhere. And I'm like, why haven't we connected yet?

And then, you know, you shot me a DM or someone on your team did. I'm like, dude, there's a sign. Let's rock. Let's rock this baby. Let's do it, man. So, hey, man, how are you doing this? Is it morning where you're at afternoon? Where are you at?

It's 12 o'clock. Okay. Oh, so you're central time. It's good. That's cool, man. That's cool. Well, look, I'm super grateful to have you on. You've been on a number of my friends' podcasts, such as Jillian, Redell, you know, Kelly Siegel.

And what I really love about a lot, what you're talking about is not about addiction. Your theory about treating it, right? Not the symptoms, but the cause. So let's get down to it and talk to the audience a little bit about that because I don't think they know what's coming for. Well, the thing is, a guy sat at home, is most things around alcoholism and addiction, living a good life's child of trauma is wrong what you've probably been told. And the reason why I say this is over 30 years and 8,000 patients with a 97% success rate, it's all about a neuroscience, man.

You know, it's not the alcohol and drugs. Alcohol has 1% to do with alcoholism and the same with every other addiction, you know? So what's the real cause? You see, I know the problem, yeah? So I'm not going to go to a treatment. and they remind me out an alcoholic, alcoholic, here's some alcohol, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. What's the problem? Why can't I stop drinking? Why am I a menacing society when I take alcohol or drugs into me? Why am I depressed most of the time? Why am I isolating? It's all that still.

Child of trauma is the gateway drug, not marijuana. Child of trauma. Everything you do today will, it goes back to what happens to you in the past, everything that you do. You know, like, you know, if you date a certain guy, go back and see, what your caregivers were like. If you self sabotage your relationship because you don't think you're worthy, go back and see what the caregivers told you. So by doing this, we found that our success rate ballooned. In that's all fact, we do 25% of our work pro bono. Everybody in my company must carry a pro bono when I get that other way. I deal with A-listers. That's my job. So I deal with them and then obviously 25% I carry a pro bono. But yeah, the real truth, has been hidden. If we can't give you a pharmaceutical drug and they can't stick you in the hospital

or treatment for 30 days at $100 million a week or every day charge you, nobody wants to know. My biggest thing is there is a solution out there where you can fully recover from that crap that you're going through. Dude, I just love your energy, man. I just got to tell you that before I get into what I'm going to say. Absolutely freaking love it. You know, I'm thinking about certain things in my life that I do now as an adult, right? Like a lot of times I was part to get in really good shape and I'll sabotage a shit out of myself by, you know, binge eating or I'll use a day that it was a bad day, right? Or it was a good day. So I'm going to celebrate and I find my comfort and celebration in food. And it's something that, you know, it's been one of those things that's happened to me

year, over year, over a year. And I'm wondering where that comes from. It has to be something from my childhood, right? And I'm fighting like hell right now because I'm on a roll again. And for the first time, I don't crave anything like that. Like, I'm not, I, I feel like I'm finally there, right? But I'm just wondering. You know, because I can remember. Anybody out there ask yourself when you say, God, there's a bad day today. Was it really a bad day? Or was it five minutes you spread all over the day? Well, the trauma again, some people, because of their background and upbringing, need to be in the drama and trauma place all the time, because that's their added way of communicating with people. And if it isn't chaos around then, then you feel left out and it feels

weird. You know, the reason why the basal ganglia is our repetition strengthened confirmed part of the brain. It's like a pilot needs 10,000 hours in the air. Just the same thing over again. And almost it can land a play blindfolded. That's our repetition thing. But what happens with certain people are not alcoholics and addicts, just childhood trauma victims and stuff that we go through in our life, like growing up really dirt poor, what happens is we start on our track and everything seems to go good and then we're dieting, we're training, now we're looking good at 10 to the hour, bang, we self-sabotage. And that will happen all of the time until you go back to the scene of the crime and clear that up. It's like a girl, you know, a young girl, 6, 7, 8, 9 in the household

where the father is an alcoholic and causes chaos. So it comes in most nights. he's drunk, he has an argument, he fist fights with the wife. There's a couple of things, this is really interesting, a couple of things that that girl learns at an early age, is one is to listen to the key going in the lock. If the key goes straight in, she can stay. If it jiggles around a bit, she has to run and hide. So she sees these on a daily basis.

So as children, what we see is how we feel. Watch a sad movie, it feels sad. But what we hear, we believe to be the truth. So what happens that young girl, she goes into a teens and gets a boyfriend, she attracts with her energy the same guy that will end up violent and probably drinking too much because that is the norm when she's grown. So the fact that if she does be somebody who's really kind and generous to her,

she will self-sabotage that relationship because she doesn't think she's good enough to be in that relationship. You got me thinking about something here. And I want to ask a question, right? So all of these things, we have to go back to the scene of the crime to understand what the symptom is, why, you know, at the very core of us, why this is going on. Would that be something like timeline therapy? How would one go through some shit like that to even remember because I don't remember? Yeah.

I don't know. Right. Well, obviously, timeline is good. We use tools like brain spotting and, you know, stuff like that. Because what happens with brain spotting, for instance, is it's through the pupils into the subconscious brain. And so we're seeing things with the eye movements that they don't recall, but we do this procedure a couple of times, then that memory is recalled. You see, what happens is everything we see here, feel touch, good news, bad news, whatever, is stored in the subconscious brain. Okay, this is all the bad stuff that we can.

And we try and hide that away so we don't need it. And here's it today. There's a conscious brain today. Yeah? So what happens is the pre-fundle cortex wants to come up with a solution. That's its only job, by the way. Come up with a solution as quick as possible to my problem. The only problem with that is it doesn't have to be the right solution. So what happens is this when I start to get too busy.

I don't know what I'm doing. Give me an answer. Go straight to the subconscious brain, but all that crap, you waste of time, you know good, relapse, eat more, you're useless, you never fit in. And it keeps going back there. Okay? So this guy here, the conscious brain, so 24 hours at a time is not an AA thing, guys. goes back way before that.

What we need to do is try and get the conscious brain here coming from the pre-fodal cortex to that. We see, this is what happens. You get up every morning, routine, do the work in the morning. And I'm going to give you some things like, change your day tomorrow. Okay, so what happens is I get up in the morning and I do my mirror work, my teeth work, my breathe, I get all that, and I walk out of the door like this. This guy is good.

This guy is going to get 24 hours in and do what he can. This guy is the guy you want to hang around with, But have a guess who wakes you up tomorrow morning. It's this guy. That's why reposition strengthened confirms with any routine or anything you want to do in life. And then we're getting to the mind. It's crazy. What you can achieve, what you've been told you can't achieve.

So the circuitry of the brain will self-sabotage and you'll become what's known as an imposter syndrome. Yeah, I think that's a lot when people get started and, you know, I know I felt this way when I started my podcast, it's something I always had wanted to do. And then when I started, I had that feeling of like, what do I even have to say? Who is even going to care? And, you know, the people who know me know what kind of jackass I was back in the early 2000s. Or, you know, it's like my credibility, I feel wasn't there, right? And then I got into that imposter syndrome, right?

And I had to really work through it. I don't feel it anymore. But like before? Dude, that shit. That shit was hard. And that's the stuff that stops us, guys. You know, that's the stuff that stops us, you know? It's just the time's never going to be right, by the way, guys.

If you think about dating that girl, buying that house, I'd do it now. Just like you're never ready to have a baby. It just happens. Same thing with life, man. And we'll get into it later. And it's like, you can have anything you want. Without anything you want to put your mind to, you can have, you can hold. There's no doubt about that.

You know, and Sean, people do you say to me years ago, okay, well, I can't be president of the United States. just trying to be smart. Forget your political views for a second, guys. We had a freaking businessman running the country with no political experience whatsoever. Word. You tell me, you can't do anything you put your mind to because it's just not true. Yeah.

You know, I'm pretty headstrong in a lot of things, Rob. And I think it comes from being, you know, a former division one athlete. And I was a baseball player at Louisiana State University. And I felt big time with my mental performance mindset, just not, good enough. All I heard in the background was, if you don't make it to the major leagues, you're not going to be shit because you don't have any other skills. See, that was a narrative that my father put out there that I chose to buy into. My fault, right? 50% my fault, maybe even more my fault. I can't fault him for having his limiting beliefs, right? I mean,

like, whatever, they are what they are. But as time went on, man, like, I just realized that where I'm at right now, I say things and people look at me like I got too freaking heads because I know where I'm going. And in fact, before we hopped on our call, I'm talking with a gentleman, one of my good buddies, Kyle Butler. And we have a lot going on with, you know, certain big sports groups and, you know, there's going to be a lot of different. There's going to be some changes in this show. And it's going to blow up. You know, we're, I can't even say it on the air right now because I don't want to let it up. But the bottom line is, is where I tell certain people that, they're like, how are you going to

pull that off? It's like, dude, it's already done. What are you talking about? It's not about if it's when. Exactly. It's now. Right now. The time is now.

You know, it really is. And I have a saying for them guys is says who. I've been, I've been, you know, you can't do this. Says who? Well, that's the marriage way. It says who. Who's saying this shit that I don't like? We're going to change it.

You can't build a multi-million, a hundred million dollar company have to come out of the streets. Said who? You know, don't. There's been plenty of people that have done it. And it's also our environment. You hang around nine depressed people. Guess what?

You've become the 10th. Same with successful people. And again, if only people knew the power of the mind that leaks into the brain, leaks into central nervous, it leaks into our actions and thought patterns going forward, you would be literally mind blown. this is how people move towards success and achieve their goals I mean if you're sat at home listening to this and let's say you want to be a health coach you go

well I do that says who what do you mean you can't do it anybody can do anything it's 2024 you can make a million dollars on your computer these days I mean come on get out what I mean you know what if a fail or what if you succeed you know that what is funny What if? How about that? How about that? And it's funny because I know the audience is sitting here at home or in their cars right now listening to this or maybe getting their pump on in the gym. I'm like, okay, that's great, Dr. Kelly. Like, but how? How do I get started shifting my perspective of my paradigm to feel like, okay, I can make an impact in those, you know, between the six inches between my ears? How do I bring that outward? A lot of things we do our patterns. I get up in the morning. We do this. Today's going to be really hard. because we tell ourselves it becomes really hard.

So a lot of it is internal dialogue and the way we set our mind up in the morning. We set our mind up to control our brain. So it's really important that, you know, let's say you want to be a coach. But, you know, you see another people do it. Take steps forward. Check the course or whatever it is, you know, get the website name, buy it and then practice in front of the camera and then start believing and then patterns coming. If you get up and do the same thing every day, you're stagnant.

Stagnant people in my industry die. Literally mean die, although they can do, but they die. I knew a friend of mine, he died at 34, but he lived until he was 65. It's miserable now. It's like change your patterns in the morning, change your routines. And then 100%, like in the morning when you go up tomorrow. Okay, so let's say we have a coach at all now that wants to be, but he's a little bit too scared he can't do it. Let's change the neural pathways tomorrow morning. Okay, get up in the morning.

One of the reasons why people don't, no one ever has wake up laughing in the morning. Nobody ever has woke up laughing is lack of oxygen. So on a normal circadian rhythm sleep pattern between the hours of two and five in the mornings when we're into that repair, it's also when most people die of natural causes. Okay. We only breathe 25% of our lung capacity and capability. We want to get that straight away. Resence of oxygen. When oxygen is present is the lack of disease. So every cancer's growth, everything that we suffer from, growing our body in a hypoxic area. Okay. So if I don't want you to do it tomorrow mornings, get up and I want you to take 20 exaggerated breaths in. Do 20 of those. Hold on to the bed because you're going to go a little bit dizzy.

and let's saturate the brain and every single cell in your body, it's saturated with oxygen. Now you're headed, now you're awake, now you're ready to go. Okay, you're going to the bathroom, stand six feet away from the mirror, because if you get close up to mirror, the pupils pick all the blemishes that we have. Guys, when's the last time you went in the office and said, hey, buddy, how you doing? Nice to see. Six foot away from the mirror where the blemishes disappear and say,

I love you 10 times. Let's store that subconscious brain and then let's change neural pathways. If you brush your teeth with your right hand, press your left for a week, right for a week. Left for a week, right for a week. That will permanently change and route neural pathways and brain pattern. So all of a sudden now you've broke the pattern. Now what can I do? I can't express enough, guys, anything you want to do, literally anything you want it. You want to become CEO of that multi-billion-dollar company. that is possible. The only reason why that guy's doing it and you are not is he knows and believes he can do it. See, I'm a big, big believer and don't have a plan B.

If you were, and Arnold Schwarzenegger told me this many years ago in the 70s when I met him, he says, don't have a plan B because if you have a plan B, forget a plan A. And that seems to be working. When I met Arnold, he told me he could hardly speak English. He's within the late 70s. He just had a movie come out called Pumping Iron Underground Movie. And he was shown in Manchester And I was good enough to pick him up

And he told me three things He said, you know what I'm going to do In broken English He said first of all, I'm going to be a governor Of a state In America And hopefully California, L.A.

We're like, okay, Well, that's crazy But that's not going to happen And the second thing he said He's going to become the highest paid movie star in the world Well, obviously that's not going to happen because he can't speak English. So that was unhaffable.

He fell off the couch listening to that one. But the third one was interesting. He said, I'm going to marry into the Kennedy family. Check, check and fucking check. And I never forget that. And that's what I've done going forward is have used that mythology of check, check, check. You really can't do anything you want to do. It's amazing.

So for the audience there that may have missed it, I want to go back over those three things, right? So in the morning, lack of oxygen, right? So take 20 big exaggerated breaths. And I want you to hold on to your bed because you're going to be out of balance. Fill those lungs up, right? And then go downstairs or go to your mirror in the bathroom, stand six feet away and say, I love you 10 times. No other affirmation. Don't get the brain confused.

Yep. Yep. Just I love you. And again, like that one's important enough because I'm going to tell you it sounds very simple. But that shit's going to be hard for a lot of people to look because you know what you did the night before. right you know and you're looking at your past instead of the present in that moment right and that's the problem so you know guys the i love you's the 10 i love you's i would imagine it would bring you to your to your knees and some tears right at the very beginning um and then you know opo

brushing you know you're righty you know switch it up brush your teeth with your left hand that's cool stuff man really cool stuff you can share from the norm you're changing and you're rerouting your pathways that take you down the same place with the same result every single time. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's also a really good story about on a Schwarzenegger too because,

you know, there's a lot of times where, you know, we all, when I started talking about doing my podcast, people laughed. People laughed.

They laughed their ass off. I'm like, well, all right, cool, good for you. Because I know where this thing's going. And I started in my, my VW Atlas.

I started it in an SUV, right? And then we got into the den in my house. And then we had a son, And then we had a better sign in a in a in a background now the shit's about to go on tour I said it. I said it. So you know that there's the notice guys. There's the notice and it's going to be fun. I'm not thinking if it happens or how could it happen. I think that's where people get they get so locked in Dr. Kelly on well how. Well, how. Bro, fuck the how. Just go focus on the process. Put it out there. No, that's what's going to happen.

And eventually, a door is going to open, and you better be ready to sprint through that son of a bitch. Yeah. And here's the deal, guys. They've been opening around you all the time, but you've never seen it. You're not in your closed in this, like having blinkers on all the time.

When you start doing these routines and doing the oxygen and amongst other things during the day, all these doors you'll see open and go, oh my God, opportunity, opportunity, opportunity. If you're a God guy like me, Every single day I see miracles. Every day I see miracles. Never saw them when I was drunk or miserable or depressed or bipolar.

Never saw them then. You get in this state of mind and higher power, universe, Uncle Jimmy, God, whatever you want to call it, has a connection. So how important is that? When you reroute neural pathways, it's called neuroplacidacy, reroute them, get a connection with some spirit because it's very important. Your DNA changes. Why is that important? You're not the same guy when you came to us and when you leave. That's very important.

We let go. You've reborn again. You get new energy. You get new focus. And, you know, it's really important that you do succeed. Whatever success looks like for you. Because I can tell you one thing, guys, I've been poor and I've been wealthy. And obviously, I choose wealthy every time.

But it won't buy you happiness. It's an inside job. So when you're walking around on a daily basis with that internal dialogue going on, Unless you voice what you want to do, this internal dialogue will control. So this is saying, you know, you can't do that. Or you're going to speak so many wasted time. Says who? That's what I do.

I just like, I love it. Of a sudden, I can hear. Says who and I'm ready to go? Because left of these devices here, I'm going to be locked up at home in a one-bedroom, rented apartment, not shaven for six or seven weeks, drunk, pissed off, anger at the world, and eventually died. that's the alternative for anybody. I never want to get anybody to 80 or night and go,

oh, if only I would have done that. You know, it's like, no, no, no, do it. What's the worst can happen? I signed a deal in Dallas, Texas, on my medical offices there. It was something like, I don't know, a million dollars for so many years. And the guy come up to me and he said, how are you going to sleep at nighttime? That's a lot of money to owe.

And I said, what the hell can they do to me that I have already, done to myself and not into it. What do you do? Take Christmas away. And when you get into that mindset, you push yourself beyond your belief. And then what happens, like when you get rich, get the car, or when you become the best father, or when you become the best son, what happens is it becomes normal. You know, we get that new car. We can't stop looking at it. And then we just drive it. We get a new house. If I can just earn 10 grand a month, when you start earning 10 grand, it becomes a working part of the mind. It's no big deal. And you have to get, you have to preempt to the mind. So what we do with our patients when they come around and they want to be wealthy is I take

them to the dealerships and they drive that 9-11 or that Rose Roy's. We're going to the million dollar houses. We're priming the brain, remember? So what happens is when we get them there, they're not going to turn up at the house and go, oh my God, oh my God. No, the brain's going to go, oh, oh, I remember this boy, this is you. And we go on forward because we will sell, self, I don't think can afford it. I'm not too sure until all that will ruin you. You know, it's so many things to unpack there in all amazing. I pray to God that I can remember all of them.

The first one I want to write everything down, Sean. You're just so, dude, I'm just so like entranced by what you're saying. I'm like, I have my pencil in my hand and I'm not even writing. You know, going back to what you just said about believing yourself, you're never going to be ready. And I tell you what, Monday, I resigned from corporate America. I have had the most amazing and fulfilled week that I've had in very many years, Dr. Rob Kelly. I tell you, I feel at peace, you know, there is a level of anxiety, but I understand where it's coming from. And I'm working in spite of it. And I've had a massive week for my business, you know, a massive week.

and it feels great and it feels great to know that I finally freaking bet on myself and it goes back to what you're saying I was never going to be ready there's always going to be a reason an excuse my wife being afraid but the bottom line is like

I don't want to die at 45 and live until I'm 85 boom there you go that's a great amazing information guys you know you'll never be ready you don't want to die at 45 and live till 65. You just don't want to do it because when you step out of that comfort zone,

for which, by the way, there are no champions or successful people built in the comfort zone. So we need to step out that and have a plant A. Again, if you want to build a card detailing company, it's simple to become a millionaire doing that. You know, learn how to do it, go forward, get a website, get some clients, get them to do reviews and spread and spread and spread. but believe that this is your niche. Everybody has a niche in life.

And yeah, we can join America. When you work for somebody else, you never fulfilled. I'm sorry, guys, but you just don't. I love my job. Brilliant. I love that. But do you really? The only reason I'm going to work is to earn money.

When you branch out like you have Sean and I have, we don't do it for the money. The money you don't have to worry about, it's going to be there. It's like when we step out and do stuff for us and do stuff because we want to do it. help people because we want to do it. Miraculous things happen. Never seen it not happen in the 63 years I've been alive. Never seen it not happen. What I've seen happen is people pull away and start businesses with that internal dialogue and learn behavior from families like you're a piece of crap. You're never going to do it. This is not going to work well. Guess what? If you're telling yourself that the brain will pick that up, the brain will wrong with that. They're here and now. The 24

hours at a time before the body goes into repair and three parts of the brain reset every 24 hours today is the day you don't have time guys most people that we interviewed on deathbed from families they all said one thing i thought i had more time you don't have time ladies moms and when's the last time you said i was waving little johnny off to to play school to kindergarten next minute and waving him off to college you don't have time yeah man you know it's crazy like When we were talking about, I mean, first of all, yeah, I mean, I have a young family. I have a 10-year-old, a 7-year-old, a 5-year-old. And my 10-year-old's going to middle school next year because it starts a fifth grade around here at a certain school.

And he's going to be playing middle school baseball. Where that time go? I always think like 10 years old, he's 10 years old. Daughter's 7. No, daughter, that's 5. Am I showing, am I being the example for them? Right? Am I being the example?

And today it was funny because I was thinking that as they're, I'm, I'm helping them get ready for school. I'm making their breakfast. And I'm like, I wonder what they're thinking, right? They see me doing these shows and they see it's a really funny moment. My son has his own Apple Touch or he's like iPod Touch. Starts running down the hallway freaking out. Dad, dad. I'm like, dude, what's going on?

What happened? You good? He's like, you're on Google. I'm like, wait, what? I'm like, what are you talking about? He's like, you're everywhere. You're everywhere. I'm like, stop it.

Let me see. And, you know, he hit Google and I'm like, huh, ain't that some shit. Like, you know, you don't have time not to do it. My point of what that is, is when I first started this, is the only time I ever Google my name and I didn't even come up. Now it's everywhere. Page one, you don't have time. Messy action is great action.

The other thing is when you're talking about neuroplasticity and we're talking about rewiring the neuropathways in our brain through the strategies like brain spotting and and some of the clinical things that you do. I think it's also important when you're working out and when you've got some oxygen going into your muscles and your brain and the blood's flowing, man, put something good in your ears. Put something amazing into your ears. You don't need the music, what you need, you know, some music is good, but like what you need is something that's going to feed your soul. And I was listening to, you know, day, I ran into the podcast of Lewis Howes and Ronner Byrne.

And one quote stuck out to me. And that show was, I mean, that interview with Rhonda Byrne. And for those of you that don't know they're listening, she created the documentary, The Secret. What I didn't realize is when she did that, she did it all on credit cards. She was broke. She was broke. And when I watched The Secret, I'm like, man, this is the most powerful thing.

This person must be a billionaire. Now to hear her story like 20-someodd years later, she was broke? She did it on credit cards. And the other thing was, they said, and you kind of touched on earlier, about happiness as an inside job. And to take it further, money doesn't bring happiness, but happiness brings money. It's crazy. That's what they said in the show.

And it just, to me, it reinforced the fact that I got to put some really good personal development stuff in my dome while I'm lifting these weights and getting stronger. I need to really be strengthened in my mind in this time. I'm not messing around with the rap music that I like or the country music that I like. Like, man, let's use this time as my act of meditation. Yeah, I mean, from baby is what we see is how we feel and what we hear. We're believe to be the truth. That's how we learn.

It's the same as adults. I watch a funny movie. I feel happy. I watch a sad move. I feel sad. But what's going in here is feeding my mind, which programs my brain. Okay. So if I'm hearing bad stuff, I mean, what?

worst even internal dialogue pertaining to what I'm listening to, then I'm going to start believing that. So positivity is very, very contagious. You know, being successful is very, very contagious. But if you're on 40,000 a year and you want to earn 60, hang around the guys that earn 60, you'll soon be this 10th person that does it. It's a mirroring part of the brain.

We pick up on this stuff. We move forward, have a plan. Don't have a plan B. Execute. End of story. That's it. and stay in the moment. You've got to be awake all of the time. You can't just go through life mundane with the same old pattern. No, stop for a second in the morning. You do all your routine,

do journal at a night time, do your left hand, not your right hand, your right hand, the vice of person, whatever your dominant hand is, and your life will start to change, because it was always meant to change. And if you're listening to this podcast, you was always meant to listen to this podcast. You see, there's patterns in everything we do. There's a cycle in addiction, it's a cycle of becoming famous. It's a cycle of becoming wealthy. You know, the cycle becoming the best father in the world. There's a pattern to it and a rooty and circuitry to make sure we get there and stop listening to people.

You know, when I have two haters of all the millions of people, it's half it's good. When my two haters start paying my mortgage, I'm going to start listening to them. Until then, says who. Says who? God, it's so good, man. So good. Says who, right? And, you know, haters.

I mean, guys, I want you understand something. We've talked about this on my show many times, but I want to reiterate it because Dr. Rob Kelly just touched on it. Haters are going to be the people that aren't doing even close to the amount of the stuff that you're doing. They want to throw shade so you fall down the ladder so they can climb. It's the classic crabs in a bucket, man. You know, what you need to do is you need to bring your internal voice. You need to turn that shit up so loud that you can't hear anything because everything that I've done. You know, I left teaching.

You know, I was an exceptional student education teacher and a baseball coach. And when I left it to sell payroll about 10 years ago, people laughed at me. Like what? You're doing what? I guess he thinks he's going to go make all this money. Guess what I did. And now I own my own payroll company. Right?

And now I own this company. And they're still talking. It's okay. The only person that needs to believe in you 100%. percent y'all is you yeah how would you how would you you know because that's a hard one to do right how would you instruct them to begin what's a what's a tip besides the stuff that we've already talked to remember guys there's two kinds of people in this world people that love you for who you are and the people that want to be you once you get that mindset you understand it's repetition

with everything repetition you know dialogue but don't you have scream it out but say loud in a day it's going to be a great day today this what I'm going to achieve today not this is what I want. This is what I'm going to achieve today and make everything positive, but do it over and over and over again. You know, eat a little bit better, rest a little bit better. You know, you need 20 minutes of exercise. Dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, endorphins are the four chemicals

that need to happen every day to get you happy and get you in the right mood to succeed. You have to remember, though, that serotonin and dopamine are created in the gut. So you have to, you can't eat McDonald's all the time and expect to get to the peak performance, it's not going to happen. So there's certain things, but it's that belief. Don't put the bricks on your imagination, guys. I've seen thousands, hundreds of thousand miracles on a, you know, through the years, but I see miracles every day with people who think, thought, I don't know too much, you know.

The most, you tell someone that can do it, the more they start to believe, you know, surround yourself with the good people. Don't surround yourself with, don't have nothing to do with negative. people. Look at J.K. Rowland. How many times was she turned down? First billionaire author female. Look at the Beatles. How many times were they turned down? Your biggest pop stars in the world. You know, if you turn down for anything, guy, you'll realize this. Something better is lingering here. You know, I want to get that. Something's better lingering here because there's patterns to everything and a spiritual connection and energy connecting to this that's going to

take you to a better place. If you're happy over here in this comfort zone, brilliant. Stay there, love you to bits, do what you've got to do. But listen to this, guys. This isn't about you. This is about being leaders. This is about taking people to another place. Everybody can be a leader.

So if you're okay in this comfort zone, stay there, buddies. I'm talking to you at home who thinks, I wonder if it's me. Yes, it's you. Get out. Get it done. Be a leader. Start believing. Start walking like a leader. eating like a leader, sleeping like a leader, you know, imagine yourself in a movie,

being the hero of the movie. I had to do that at the beginning, but I was out of swast. I walked into my car and going to work and, you know, people started treating me different. When I started loving myself and believing me, I could do it, people joined in on that. Oh, wow. I was in Dallas. I lived in Dallas for 12 years before coming here four years ago. I was thinking writing a book, all my guys showing around me, said, ah, you know,

an author of you. I mean, come on, never wrote a book. I came here four years ago, a new set of guys, my friends, and I said to one of them one day, I'm thinking around in a book, this was a reaction. Holy crap, you've not wrote a book. Oh, my God, I would read that. Oh, you need to do that. Guess what? I wrote a book. And this is important for you to understand, guys. You can't stay in stagnant water and expect to swim with the dolphins. Get out of that pond, get into this bond, start living life to the full. People around you will appreciate that. I love that, man, because, you know, I can look at my middle daughter.

And this morning, she got upset because she was trying to build like a little fort out of pillows for my youngest daughter's little panda stuffed animal. She wanted to be so special. And it kept falling over. And she got really like in her, in her feelings and depressed that she couldn't fulfill this surprise for her sister. And the rest of the morning, she's like on the couch just like before we left. And she's like almost in tears. And I asked her, I go, how do you feel right now? She goes sad.

I go, no, I can say that. But how does that feel good or bad? Like, walk me through it. Well, it feels terrible, daddy. I go, well, how do we get there? How do we get there? Because, well, I can't build this fort. I go, okay.

You had a bad moment. And this goes back to what you said earlier. It was it a full day or a bad five minutes, you know, spread. across peanut buttered all over your whole day really and it's really bad moments that we allow to perpetuate our whole beingness and that's where things get really really tricky and you know by the time i walked out the door and got her in her car seat she was fine but like dude like that right there like that that is happening everywhere we need leaders to help people out of that that to me you know a lot of parents can look at that and say well my daughter's just in a bad mood to me i

could not drop her off at school like that. Yeah, I just couldn't do it, man. Really important. And you're programming, you know, people to be successful and you're telling you about an early age and your kids and everything. You have to do that in the world. You know, remember when men used to build monstrous bridges and, you know, all starting to work at it permanent.

What happens to them guys? I don't see them guys on a regular basis. I see the guys out there that want to, you know, sit at home, play video games all day. then get a job that just sits in front of the computer all day. I don't see leaders, you know. And I don't want to cause any controversy in the show, but when you start having cry rooms in offices, there's something wrong, someone, you know, that's why I've got to get.

Is there cry rooms and offices? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it's just like, you know, listen, I see a therapist 30 years on, and I will always see one because it's my time to vent or say what I've got to do is for. Sure, of course. Go see one, you know, but American needs to stand up.

See what this is going on around here, you know, and start leading stuff again, start building monsters, things, start creating, you know, teams and communities. And, you know, I hate to say this because I don't like the Beatles, but they all right. Oswe need his love, you know, that love, you've got a leap from the top. Nobody's going to take that lead. I'm the guy on the elevator in the morning with 20 people. Everyone's looking different. I'm the guy that goes, okay, who's a 10 out of 10 today, guys?

They're all joining in, but they need that one. otherwise I'm walking around blind all day compliment people guys come and bed three people every day nobody does that anymore you know I remember in my girls one nurse just joined and one nurse had been with it since the beginning and he said did you see that guy coming he was suicidal you won't speak to anybody Dr. Kelly spent an hour with him he come out he was laughing he was hogging the girls doctor Rob Kelly is amazing isn't he and the nurse said yeah he is have you told him that oh

I mean, oh, no, I wouldn't. He already knows, obviously, yeah. Nobody knows. Not telling shit. If you think someone's good, tell them the good. You know, we're missing. I got this. It happens all the time, man.

When someone comes, you know, I had an interview with one of my buddies on his show the other day. And, like, after recording, he's just like, man, I just really admire you. I was like, huh? He goes, you know that, right? I go, well, now I do. I didn't know. Like, I don't know how people view me.

You know, I know what I'm pushing for. single day, right? But, you know, to your point, even opening doors for people is like weird now. So, and it's especially weird at the gym. Like, I'm going to tell you, like, the gym has turned into something to me that it's almost kind of unbearable at times. You know, the girls are barely wearing any clothes. You know, I'm a 45 year old man. I got three, you know, a beautiful wife, two beautiful daughters and a son. I'm there to work out, period. And a story. And so when I'm walking out, I hold the door open. But this young girl is probably like five steps behind me.

And she goes, well, thanks, but I'm not interested. I'm like, me neither. I just open the door for you. It's the right thing to do. And by the way, I'm married. Like, what are you talking about? Like, I just open the door for you so you can exit. It's the right thing to do.

And it just blows me away. Like, I'm like, I'm thinking like, holy shit, that's where we're at. It's a door. It's a door. I've done that. People's walk in. I say, thank you. I mean, they turn around.

But, you know, somebody said, you don't have to do that. And I said, I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for me. I need to do these good things every day. I need to be kind, courteous. I need to act accordingly, dress accordingly, and speak accordingly. That's just the way I'm in my life because I have to. Because this deal is life or death for me, you know?

These things I do. I bless somebody, Sean, and only because I can. Bless somebody in monetary every single day I leave the house. I don't care who it is. You get some money up there. Even at the signal like, oh, you're them guys. You're just going to go buy drugs with it. Good.

That's what I would do if I was homeless. Or says who. Exactly. You know, it's just like there's so many people want to, you know, give their opinion. Just, I mean, a friend of mine is a comedian. And after the show with this girl watch, I said, that joke was offensive. And he said, no, no, no. You found it offensive.

doesn't make it offensive. And I was stood there with my mouth wide open. Oh, my God. Because we're listening to that person. That one person, I have millions of people I saw this guy. That one person, we listened to that person. And then we distort ourselves internally of being that guy that went too far. It's not true.

Yeah, I agree. I'm sure. I'm sure I've offended many people for taking a friend. I used to get and look at my Googles. I don't give a shit. I honestly, if I've upset you on this radio show and you're in the program,

call your sponsor, you know, call him. I'm going to shit. I really don't, you know. What I say is truth. Why?

There might be a cry room at their office. Yeah. I'm the wrong person to tell me you. Yeah, dude. You know, I think we're all responsible for our own emotions and how we feel,

man. I mean, you know, and I think that at times, we can all, I can definitely get away from that, and especially in a marriage, I felt this way when you did this.

And I'm really looking at it. We all want to feel validated in a relationship. We want to be heard. But look at it, it was never about her. Never about her. That is my interpretation of what happened. That's on me, man. That's on me.

Right. So, hey man, I was going to land a plane a little bit here. This has been such an amazing conversation. I truly enjoyed it. I knew it was going to be a good one, but this has been one of the most fun, energetic, and just badass episodes that I've recorded in a very long time. And I think what makes it that way is your ability to be so kind and courteous like you mentioned, but also to bring so much good information to the listeners, man.

So what I want to do right now is two things. One, I want you to leave them with, you know, maybe a quote, or maybe just a piece of advice. And then, too, tell everybody how they can find you, be a part of what you're doing, and root for you every single day. First thing I want to say to you guys is, you know, just believe, first of all.

But secondly, I want to say to you that if you're at home and you're never going to amount to anything, you kind of never be tall enough, blonde or if rich and off thin enough, that syndrome, but everyone's told you to a piece of crap. First of all, I want to apologize to you because somebody's put that there.

Okay? So listen to this real careful, guys. If you're at home in that position now, you're almost at the edge, the jumping off edge. 214-600-0-210 is my personal cell phone number. Text me, and this is what's going to happen. As soon as I'm free, I'm going to call you back. We're going to have a 15, 20-minute pet talk.

That will change your life. And do you know if it doesn't? I'm going to send you $100 for wasting your time. Never set the $100 next. Secondly, Robcally.com, I spell my name with two bees. If you're just listening and are not watching guys.

R-O-B-B-K-L-O-Y.com. Go on, you know, if you can't afford a book on there, let me know, I'll send it free. You know, it's not about the money. RobkellyFoundation.org is on there, really big into that. And what different about that is,

you donate $100. When we go out and we give that $100 to somebody for whatever reason, that guy I've given it to will call you the donator and let you know where that's got. So I don't do this. Most people do these for building the business and hoping that they'll get some clients. I don't want any money. I've got enough clients. It's nothing to do with that. I'd rather spend 20 minute phone call with you to change your life than hear of your suicide next week. So come on, guys. Dr. Rob Kelly and any search

engine in the world, put that in. I'll come up all over the place. Let's chat. Let's tweet. Let's talk, man, and make this world a better place because you at home, listening to this, thinking I can't call is who I'm talking to. Make that first call, make that first text. You can tell you, man, I must be one of the few guys like yourself. I don't want something from people. I want something for people. I want you to be better than me, you know. I want to raise you higher, but earn more money, be more respected.

stuff that I've got to, I want you to be here and I'll do whatever it takes to help you get the patient or no patient, you know, we're always advertising on Facebook, who needs $100 today, with $200 change your life, we do toy drives, we do all that stuff to give back. And that is my key, Sean, is giving back when I stop doing it. I love it. I love it. Say the number one more time for them. 614-214-20-0-200-2-1-0-0-2-0-1-0-0-0-0-0-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0.

zero that's my person it's not my secretary it's not my assistant it's not front desk yeah it's me so just text me uh just let me know i'm i know you busy but i don't as soon as i'm free i'll text you back and we'll arrange at times to call each other maybe a zoom i'll change your life man in 15 minutes i'll change your direction period otherwise that's great i'm gonna i'm gonna text you because i'm i'm gonna be friends with you because i'm gonna text your ass i mean like that's vomit actually. But look, man, thank you. Thank you again so much. Um, an audience, you heard it. Don't, don't sit there and be too prideful not to reach out to this man, right? He gave his number two times on, on this show. And I want you to take advantage of it if you're feeling those dark days.

If you feel like winter is not just coming, it is here. And it's a never ending winter. I want you to reach out to Rob Kelly. And I love you. And I know he does. And we appreciate, and we appreciate you for listening and be sure to share this show with somebody that you know that it would resonate with and until that time guys be determined talk to you soon southwest florida is one of the most beautiful places on the planet to live for those of you that are thinking of moving from other states to come to florida or even just moving to a different part of the state i want you to think of a big beautiful luxury home contact legacy luxury builders They are a family-owned and operated luxury residential construction company.

As a family-owned business, they believe in the power of building not just homes, but legacies. Contact legacy, luxury buildings. The nightmare feeling like you'll never measure up of constant second guessing and self-doubt. It eats away at you and destroys your confidence. I've been there too. Feeling like I didn't belong on the field with my teammates. But it doesn't have to stay down. I used to compare myself to everyone around me.

I thought that no matter how hard I work, I'd never be as good as the other guys. It killed myself before. I now help athletes develop an elite mindset, so comparison no longer controls them. We teach techniques to cut out the negative self-talk and unlock the full potential. Imagine stepping into the box when it counts the most and feeling totally confident in your ability, feeling invincible instead of insecure, ready to seize the opportunity instead of shrinking from it. That's the mindset I help athletes develop. Don't waste another minute on comparison and self-doubt.

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