Determined Society with Shawn French | Adversity & Mindset - Living A Legendary life w/ Larry Hagner

Episode Date: February 11, 2022

In this episode Shawn French sits down with the creator of The Dad Edge Podcast author two books, Larry Hagner. Larry is a husband and a father of 4 energetic boys. Why did I want to have Larry on my show? That’s a very simple answer. He epitomizes what a man, husband and father strives to be on a daily basis. Men want to be strong leaders in their household and strongly desire for it to be centered around love. All too often we fall short due to patience and ego. Larry’s mission is to teach the skills necessary in order for all of us men to have legendary marriages and relationships with our children as well as TO LIVE LEGENDARY LIVES. Tune in to learn more about Larry and how you can support him in his mission. Connect with Larry: IG- @thedadedge Website: www.thedadedge.com Connect with us : https://linktr.ee/Shawnmf32 --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/shawn-french/message Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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I didn't really see that coming in. And it's here. Now what do I do? It's like, it's not just trying to like scramble to get that under control. But when you have somebody who's ahead of you or a community of people who are ahead of you in these things, dude, it makes life 10 times easier. And it makes it so much more fulfilling because now you have a, it's like seeing the matrix.

It's like, okay, my son's going to be 16. he's going to be behind the wheel of a car at the end of March. These are the things that I really need to be looking out for. Who are his friends that he's hanging out with? Are they drinking? Are they smoking weed? What kind of girl is he dating? Are they going to, you know, is he going to be at a party?

You know, is this girl want to get in the back seat of the car with him? I need to start talking to him about preventative things, right? Like all these conversations need to start happening now and not after the fact. And he's like, oh, yeah, dad, I drank and drove last night, you know, when you could have gotten ahead of those things. And this is no different. What's going on, guys? You are here for another episode of the podcast of Determined Society. Today I have a very special guest, someone that I truly look up to.

I've been following for a little bit over a year now. And what I've learned is this guy gives out so much valuable information to empower men to become the men that they are striving to be. Amazing husbands, legendary fathers, empower them in their men. emotional, physical, and spiritual journeys. I have with me an author of two books, a husband, a father of four energetic boys, the creator of the podcast, the dad edge. Larry Hagner, thank you so much for being here today, man.

I'm excited. What is going on, man? It's good to see you. Thank you so much for the amazing intro. Yeah, energetic. Like that's definitely an adjective, man. It's like a frat house around here. Dude, it's funny because, you know,

I obviously follow you on all the social platforms. And I have a son, I have three kids. I have a son who's eight, a daughter who is five, and a daughter who is three. And energetic is, is chaotic. It's controlled chaos in my household. And, you know, I look at you and I admire everything that you do and the information you put out there for men and young fathers because it's super necessary. And, you know, when you talk about that adjective, energetic, you know, walk me through that because I watched a video of your household last night.

I was like, oh, my gosh, this guy. It's amazing. That is a typical night, my friend. I mean, it's so, yeah, I've 15. 14, 8, and almost six now. I'll have a six-year-old as of two weeks. So, yeah, I mean, like our Sunday yesterday, we just really enjoyed, excuse me, some family time with the boys.

And basically, we hardly left the house the entire day, except for me and my 14-year-old, went to go train yesterday. And like literally, we were watching football as a family. You know, we played, we had connect four out. We had Uno out. We had trouble out. My other son's doing homework. My other son is doing drawing.

My other son is playing this other game where he's trying to, I can't remember. I think it's called traffic jam, but it basically you have to like get this car out of like traffic, but you have to like use your mind and logic. You can only move things certain ways. And it was just mad chaos. And we got the dog in there too. And it's loud. And there's dishes everywhere.

There's stuff everywhere. There's food everywhere. and it's just like that's our house. It literally looked like a frat house last night. So yeah, that's awesome, man. I saw all these games.

You know, I saw the, the game on in the background. You're almost, I would think, what is it? You're almost six year old was just mowing down on popcorn on your couch. And,

you know, those are moments that, you know, those are the moments that you look back on and realize those were actual memories. Yeah. And at the time, time, it's like, I know how I would be. I would, you know, I look around, I'm enjoying the,

the control chaos with the family. I'm looking around like, oh my gosh, I'm going to have to clean this up in a second, right? But the reality is, you know, kids, they're not going to remember how clean their house was. They're not going to remember how regimented everything was. They're going to remember all the cool memories that they created with you and your wife. That is so true. You know, they, they, they, I was just having a conversation with a, with another guest who came on the podcast last week. And he was joking around saying like, I don't even know if my kids know exactly what I do. Nor do they probably even really care. Like, they just want to know like, hey, am I around like at nighttime? Like, what do our conversations look like? Do we spend time together? All those things. And yeah, you know, my wife and I, my wife and I are pretty tidy people, you know, like we try to keep the house clean. It's virtually impossible. It's like a treadmill of dirt at all times, you know, that you're cleaning up. But my wife and I have talked a lot about this. And that is, you know, it's, it's memories over a clean house.

Right. And it's still orderly, right? There's still. But at the same time, there is going to, this is what we keep saying. There's going to come a day where there are no more shoes on the ground. There's going to come a day where there are not backpacks on the ground and popcorn in between your couch couch cushions and socks on the floor and no kidding around. I say this out loud.

Sounds crazy. Half eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on the bathroom sink. I don't even know how those get there, but they got there. And, you know, our house is going to be quiet. And our house is not going to be loud. And it's going to be clean. And I'm not looking forward to that at all. In fact, I got a really heavy dose of that a few months ago where my wife,

I think my one son was, my oldest son was, he was like off with friends. And then she had the other three boys at her parents' house. And she's like, hey, enjoy your time, you know, here at the house. And it was the first time in years, like years, my house was quiet. Like, I mean really quiet to where like, I was like, oh, I just watched TV. I turn on the TV. And what I realized going through the TV is I was like, I don't know any of these shows that are on, not one of them in a movie.

Like, I can't remember last time I knew. the latest movies that were out. And I found myself like literally twiddling my thumbs. And it was one of the most uncomfortable feelings that I ever had. So that moment of silence that we all yearn from, that we all yearn for, right? When our kids are just so loud and it's crazy and it's, it can be obnoxious.

It can be annoying is that the sound of silence is deafening. And it's lonely. And it gave me a real smack in the back of the head of like, I'm going to turn around and this is going to be my life. And I can either be annoyed, right, with all the craziness and the chaos and the popcorn and the half eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on the bathroom sink and, you know, or I can embrace it and enjoy it. And because to be really honestly, this sounds like super simple, right?

The shit that happens in my house is hilarious. Like if you look at it that way, it can be hilarious or it can be annoying, right? Or it could be both. But if you really look it through the lens of like, oh my God, this is like really comical because there's only going to be a few seasons of my life where, you know, my four, I'm going to walk past my 14 year old and he is literally going to tackle me. And I'm going to fly over the back of my couch like I did last night. And we're both laughing her asses off. My wife is like, my God, would you two stop it?

Like, right? And the dogs barking at us. And I'm like, this is the best, man. This is the best. That's some cool shit, man, because, you know, I'll be the first to admit. right? I will be the first to admit that a lot like you when you had your first child in 2006, my son was born in 2013. And I quickly realized, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. And this whole time I'm sitting here every single day, as a father and as a husband,

I'm learning throughout these moments. And there are certain moments where I fall short of that just allowing the joy of what's happening, like you're getting tackled, right? There's sounds like if someone, if like my son jumps on me or my daughter jumps on me and I'm in this zone to where I'm super worried about, you know, building my business. Who do I have on the podcast tomorrow? How many coaching programs have I, have I sold today or whatever it is? I'm going to miss that moment. It's very true.

I'm so done with that. Like, you know, it was one of the biggest reasons what I was just like, oh my gosh, I'm going to reach out to Larry and see if he, see if it responds because I perceive you as a dude that truly does have it together in that category, right? What's that journey been like for you? It hasn't been pretty, you know, it's been, and when you say the journey, I'm guessing maybe the work life integration.

Is that more what you mean? Work life, yeah, the work life integration. and the ability because, you know, I've done my background. I did my homework, right? And early on, you were, you know, the patience was, was, was, was, was slim, you know, quicker to anger. And I feel like that's something that I've been working on the last few years. Sure. Yeah. And, you know, patients, here's the, here's the interesting thing. Patience. So we, we set ourselves up for failure as fathers and even parents, really, women are not, you know, they're still, included in this category, right? But if you really think about what patience is, first of all,

we set ourselves up for failure because we have this perception. I don't know where this perception actually really comes from. I honestly, I have a theory on it. And I think the theory is this, is that being a good father is so intimate to us and it's so important. Like, listen, a guy can take or leave a job, right? We actually are, we actually have a pretty heavy identity tied to what we do as a living as men, but we tie way more of our identity to how we show up as a husband and father, right? But we're pretty quiet about it, meaning like it's insanely important to us, right? But yet we don't necessarily know how to navigate it to optimize it, right? So we're kind of quiet about it. We're kind of like stealth about it. Like, maybe I'm going to try this. Like, man, this is like

really, really hard. I don't want to tell anybody it's hard. You know, at the same time, like, I really want to do it well. I don't know really what that even really looks like. So we have this, perception when we become parents that somehow, some way patience is supposed to naturally just come easily. Right? Well, it's our kids. I love them. I should be patient with them. And if I'm not, I'm a broken, horrible weak man, right? That's not true at all. It's not true at all. You know, patience with your kid, a lot of, I had a really good friend of mine. He's also one of our coaches, runs one of our call teams in the alliance. He said, when your patience runs out, that's usually when your skill set of whatever it is you're dealing with has also run out. And that's very

Very true, right? You're frustrated with what's happening externally. Like maybe your kids acting out, right? Or they just talked back to you. They just did this or that. And now you're like, oh, crap, I don't know what to do about that. And then like all of a sudden, then we're triggered internally. It's like, I'm not really sure what to do about that. But I know I'm getting angry, getting very, very angry and I don't know what to do. So therefore, boom, it just comes out in like a controlling sort of rage, right? And what we don't really realize is that patience is no different than emotional resilience. it's just packaged up and branded just a little bit differently. So there are ways, all the Navy SEALs I've had on the podcast, all the special operators, all the mental tough coaches, they all, if you really look at what they have said in the podcast, is it's all the same themes. You can't expect a Navy SEAL to be put right into battle going from just a Navy, whatever he is.

I'm not sure what the rank is. And then he's a SEAL the next day. And then you put him in this hardcore mission. And suddenly he's supposed to be. incredibly mentally tough, emotionally resilient, and even physically up to the challenge without going through buds. Like it's all through buds that he starts to learn like, oh my gosh, it's all about team, right?

It's all about asking for help when I need it. It's all about, you know, in order for me to dig deep, I have to test myself to know that I can actually be resilient in this space, right? And being patient with your kids is no different. So I'll give you a quick example here. And this came the variety, the variety of things that I teach, There's seven skill sets within patients that I teach. And all of them just sort of came from different avenues within like these

special operators or mental tough coaches and whatnot. So in other words, in order to be more resilient, right, or to practice more resilient, you've got to be very guarded about what it is that you're going to consume or take in, right? I'll give you a great example. Most people, they use their phones,

right, to wake up in the morning. They set their alarm that way. all you have to do. Now, what happens is, is all you have to do is what most people will do is they will automatically start checking their phone within 15 seconds of waking up, right? You don't have to look far. I just swiped right on my phone. I have no idea what it says. And then there were two. The FDA gives full approval to Moderna's COVID-19 vaccine. I'm not sure what that means. why the Omicron wave has spiked so sharply and then and then decline so rapidly.

And what's in store for the Ukraine and Russia? So it's like I haven't even opened my eyes for 15 seconds and I'm like, oh yeah, there's COVID, right? Oh, yeah. What does that mean? What does that mean? What does full approval mean? You know, does this mean more mandates? Does this mean mess?

Yeah. And what about Omicron? Like, what does this mean? Is the decline? Is there something I should be alarmed about? all of a sudden like I'm triggered, right? Right. I haven't even gone to my text message to see how far behind I am there,

my emails or my boss just might have emailed me or whatever. Suddenly we're triggered. And I like to call that the domino effect. Once you're triggered that early in the morning and you're in this sort of beta state of mind, you know, when you first wake up, your brain is truly not ready for that.

That's why like if you look at like the Navy SEALs and buds or even green or any type of even basic training, one of the first things that they do is they wake them up. at 4.30, 4 o'clock in the morning and they come in like with firecrackers, like in the trash can, right? They come in hanging trash cans, right? They come in with like gunfire outside their thing. They're waking people up in this crazy triggered state so it's practice that they can be more resilient. Now, what I always tell guys is you got to be very guarded about what you're taking in that first 60 minutes of you being awake because you can either start

decimating your patients or you can start building it. So I'm a big fan of like morning routine, right but the other thing too is there are things that we can do one of them i teach is never ever have expectations around how your kids are going to operate now i say that with caution okay that doesn't you want your kids to act a fool i'll give you an example that i personally fall you know victim to a lot dinner time for me is it is like a sacred time it's the it's the time where i'm not working anymore. We've all come together to gather as a meal. And I just want to, I want it to be positive, right? And I want it to be fulfilling. And I want each kid to go around the table and talk about the things that they went through during the day, the things that made them happy,

the things that challenged them, all these things, right? And I want us to laugh and have a good time. And it's like that 10% of the time, right? I have, I mean, listen, you've got six people in your family, one of them is bound to not be happy. Okay. And it's, it might be the littles. And the littles are, you know, the littles are talking over people. They're acting a fool. They're spilling stuff all over the place. They're pissing their older brothers off. My wife is like, guys, come on. Just calm down. And you're just like, God bless. I just want to have like a nice meal with my family. Like what, what's got to give to have this, man, right? Yeah. So what I've learned is, is, you know, I have to go in with the expectations. I'm like, okay, my kids are going to act like functioning human beings, okay,

to some degree, right? I do have manners, right? Right. But I can't put the expectation of like, this is going to be the most epic dinner ever. Because what I'm doing is, is I'm setting myself up for expectation, right? Which is the antithesis. It's the complete opposite of what we call curiosity and appreciation. Like I could sit down on that dinner table and my 14 year old or whoever might have just had the worst freaking day of their life. And they're in this head. space of like, I just need my family right now or I'm in a really bad mood. I'm going to take it out and on all of you. And then we realize, wait a second, what's going on with you. You help us understand what, you know, and then, but being tied to that expectation, I always tell guys,

be very vigilant of something going wrong. Be very, be ready for, not, not, don't expect it, but be ready for it, right? And once you're ready for it, you'll have, you'll be prepared to respond accordingly, not react because my expectations are not being met. Like, when I sit down at dinner, I'm like, okay, I really hope that this is going to be a positive experience. But I'm also well aware that my six-year-old, my eight-year-old are going to be acting like morons. Okay. I'm going to be ready for that. And I'm going to, and I'm going to respond and not react in a rage.

It would you please sit down, eat your food, be quiet, right? Instead of like, hey, man, like pull up your seat, you know, eat over your plate, right? But I think that you need to be prepared for things like that. The other thing, too, is this, is that you also have to be very, very, very, prepared to know skills. Like, listen, the Navy SEALs are really big on mantras, right? That when, when life is getting freaking horrible, right? And it's like treacherous and they want to give up. Mark Devine came on the podcast. He is, you know, he's the founder of Unbeatable Mind and He wrote the book, Unbeatable Mind and Seal Fit and all these things. He still uses this mantra to this day.

He's like, when life is hell and I am getting cut open and salt is being poured open in my wound, looking good, feeling good, I ought to be in Hollywood. He's like, it's that mantra that brings me back to no matter what is going on outside of me, I am anchored and I'm ready, right? I am not completely raging out, losing all logical thought and emotional resilience because of what's happening out here, right? He's like, you can't go to battle unless you have that mindset. And ours, the way we interact with our kids is no different.

And so the good news is I'll finish here. is that you can learn these skills, right? And if you feel that patients should come naturally to you, you're not alone. But for the love of God, if you're listening to this podcast, and that's the way you're feeling from this moment on, I want you to make an oath to yourself,

all your listeners, do not put that expectation on yourself anymore. Just simply be like, hey, I just don't have this part of my life mastered yet. I'm going to go learn some things on emotional resilience and patience. And I'm going to be a student. It's not going to come naturally. and that's okay.

Man, I want to tell you something. I am just, I'm smiling this whole time you're talking because I feel like you're literally telling me, hey, Sean, stop with your expectation bullshit. Because I'll wake up every morning at 4 a.m. Right. Monday through Friday, I'm up at 4 a.m. I'm out the door by literally 424. I get in my truck and I'm heading to the gym, right?

I got to get my workout in. I got to get my mental space in the right way. And then I'll leave the gym and I'm in this good mental space, right? I'm super creative. I'm open. I am johnning things down on my iPhone notes for, you know, videos I want to put out all these different types of things and how I'm going to help my clients, et cetera. And then I walk through the front door and I'm expecting everybody to be on their best behavior. And I walk in and it's like a freaking bomb blows up.

Oh, yeah. Daddy. Alina did this, dad, me and did that. Bobby's being me and I'm like, shit. Like, right then, what I've done is I've already set myself up for a failure, right? By expecting the house to be in this frequency that I'm in right now. And what I believe, what I'm hearing you say is, you know, come home without that expectation. Just knowing like, hey, your kids might be acting like morons and complete imbeciles when you walk through that door. Like, just be ready and be constant and anchored so you can get through that moment in response,

not reaction. That's what's all about, man. Just be ready, right? Be vigilant. You know, it's like you don't kick down a door without thinking that there's going to be chaos on the other side, right? If you're in law enforcement or you're in the military, right? quite frankly, it sounds kind of crazy, but your house is really no different. You're going to

walk in the door. There could be chaos going on, right? And the minute we expect like, hey, I'm going to walk in and my family's going to greet me. It's going to be sunshine, rainbows and unicorns and this stuff. Man, you're just setting. You're ready to literally just have your expectations handed to you in a bag, right, that isn't so pleasant to hold on to. Larry, this is incredible because like I feel like just naturally I go into that space, right, to where I'm expecting, you know, dinner time to be amazing. Because what we like to do at our dinner table, right, we sit down and we eat every night. I'm grateful for this, right?

We do the grateful thing. My kids call, can we do the grateful thing? Can we do the grateful thing? And then like my son will start, my son will start. my three-year-old, she's the boss of the family, right? She's boss baby times 100. And so, okay, I want Bobby to start. Bobby, go.

What are you grateful for? And he starts talking and she starts interrupting. And then it's just, and I'm watching this. I'm like, okay, cool. And then at one point in the meal, we all get through the grateful thing. By then I'm starving, right? And then I finally get a chance to connect with my wife and have, you know, maybe like a 20 second conversation with her and the kids will just not let the shit happen.

Right. And what I do is I get super frustrated. Right. I was like, oh my God, I'm trying to talk to your mom. Like 20 seconds, can you just stop talking? And really, like, I'm just not preparing myself for that moment. Right. Like really, if it's a 20 second conversation, can it wait until 745 when the Joker

are asleep? Yeah, it really can't. The problem is where I go into it is like, well, I've waited all day to talk to my wife, right? Because I'm doing this in my other, in my, my corporate career until I'm able to do this full time, right? And then my wife is working. So throughout the day, we don't really have that time for that exchange. So, I mean, all of this stuff, man, is, is, is hitting home. You know, and I'm glad we're talking about it on this podcast because as I mentioned to you, the majority of my listeners are men like 25 to 43. We're all going through this. And part of my mission every single day is helping men speak up for themselves because men have

their insecurities, their limiting beliefs. They want to make more money. They want to have epic relationships with their wives and their kids. They want to lead, as you would say, legendary lives. but we don't know how to speak up, right, and be open and honest with how we feel. So I'm loving that we're having this conversation because I feel like so many men are going to get a lot of out in this episode, listening to, listening to how you go through your day as far as it pertains to patients. Yeah, and I would love to sit here and tell you that I'm freaking fantastic at it, right? every day, every day, there's a mistake.

Every day, there's a high point, every day there's a low point. Some days I am better at, you know, really digging into that skill, you know, that I used to have basically no skill at. And then there are other days where I'm not. But I will tell you this, the one thing I have learned is that I'm much more aware. You know, I call it, I call it seeing the matrix. And when it comes to, when it comes to patient, I am much more aware when I feel a trigger coming, right? It's almost like when Neo is able to, you know,

basically predict what Morpheus was going to do next, right? Just by, and it's no different that when you, when you exercise these resilience muscles, right? And you learn how resilience works. And when you learn how patients works, a lot of it has to do with the fact that we lose our patience because we've been triggered, right? Or we, and here's the sad part too,

sometimes we've been triggered all day, right? And it's that tiny thing. It's the milk that spilled on the table that sent you over the freaking edge. And unfortunately, your kids looking at you like, wow, my dad's an ass. Like he yelled at me for spilling the milk. And what he doesn't realize is his son, you know, gosh, I'm sorry. It actually wasn't you spilling the milk. It was the 20 other things that happened before that that I was dealing with.

And unfortunately, the spilling the milk was the last straw. But, you know, I will say this. it's never it's never perfection you know it's it's it's no different you know last night as you and I are recording this right uh the 49ers and the rams played right uh the chiefs and uh the bengals played and on the and on one of the last drives of the 49ers and rams last night was you know the the quarterback for the 49ers got run down he got he he was getting cornered he's either going to be sacked or he had to lob it to somebody unfortunately he did a really crappy lob and they tipped up and boom, Rams intercepted it, won the game.

So, you know, that's to say that, but if you look at how that guy performed throughout the entire evening, there were minimal mistakes. Minimal mistakes, right? The odds of him being successful were high, right? And it's no different in baseball. It's no different than anything, right? There comes a time where, you know, Connor McGregor knocks a guy out and there's a time where he gets his butt kicked, right?

It just is what it is. the secret really is is to train yourself to these strategies of being more, more patient, more resilient. Also really understanding like, hey, what are your triggers? Like for me, one of my triggers is repeating myself to my kids. Like, dude, I hate even saying this. I sound like my own parents, but if I have to ask you to do that one more time, you're going to have your phone taken away.

Or if I have to ask you this one more time, you know, it's not going to be pretty. I don't like that. And I also don't like when the same as you. I'm trying to, we're trying to have a conversation and there's always someone who's trying to speak over somebody and interrupt, right? It's just, it's like maddening to me. And, you know, but I also realize that I, I'm triggered by those things. So when the, when I sit down at the dinner table, I'm, I'm preparing myself. This is probably the way it's going to go. And I need to be ready for that. The other thing is this too is that we're all human. What I think is most important are after action

reviews. So if you have a bad moment with one of your kids or you have a bad moment with your wife, whatever it is, go back and reverse engineer what actually did happen. Like, so for instance, the night the dad edge started back in 2011 where I spanked my four-year-old son who's 14 now, he hit the ground. I'm not proud of that. I always told myself, I'm never going to put my hands on my kids. I had a horrible day that day. A lot of challenges came my way. At the time I was a medical device sales, I'd just gotten word that I lost my biggest customer, you know, and it was going to be a huge financial impact. And that was hard. I was, and I, my wife and I weren't really on point with our communication, our marriage and all the stuff. And I think at that night, you know, I came on with a bad day.

She and I got into a Tiff. And then my son acted out and boom, right. Now, if I went to back and reverse engineered all those things and I was like, okay, where did all these things happen? How did I not handle things the best way I could? How could I have done things a little bit differently, you know, what would I have done? And it's, it's in those, it's in those analysis that you start to really learn how you operate, how you, how you're operating, right? And then to, you know, prevent things off at a pass when you start to see things go down the same road. Like, I mean, listen, there have been times when me and my wife will have a challenging night or whatever and be like, hey, can you give me 10 minutes? Like, just give me 10 minutes. And sometimes, man,

you know, for me or my wife, it's literally going into our bedroom, me putting on my headphones and just breathing, you know, for like five minutes just to catch my breath, right? And just to do some Wim Hof breathing or just to get myself back centered. Sometimes it's like, hey, give me 10 minutes. I'm going to go for a really hard run. I'll be back in 10 minutes. My wife will do that too. And sometimes it's just allowing that other person or yourself, that space and that grace to be like, let me go put my oxygen mask on for a few minutes so I can come back better. Otherwise, this is just going to keep getting out of control.

This is, I mean, this is exactly what everybody needs to hear, right? And I think when you're talking about, you know, taking these necessary timeouts, right?

Is it asking the right way or in a non-confrontational way? Because I think there's a lot of times where I ask, like, we'll walk away, right? I'll walk away. Where are you going? I'm like, well, I'm taking time. That's not the proper way to let the mother of your children know that you're going to take time. How can I expect her to receive that well? How she sees it is her man's walking away from her. What she says or what she's

feeling is not important to him. And really, the better way is to say, hey, listen, let's just let me take 10 minutes. I'm going to put my headphones on. I want to bring. read a little bit. I want to come back better. You know, why don't we do that all the time? Well, the ego kicks in, right? And it's the need to be right. It's the need to want to win the fight. Well, you know, when you win the fight or you have that need to be right, all you are, all you turn into is the asshole in that in that moment, right? And I truly value everything you're saying. And when you saw that hand gesture, when you said medical device, I'm a medical Oh, are you? I am. I am. So I know exactly how that feels. You come home, you know,

you've been dealing with surgeons all day and a case didn't go the way, you know, your product didn't do what said was going to do. And you know that it was user error, but you can't say it because the general surgeons. And it's just like, you're blackballed from the OR at that point, right? So, like, I feel that. And, you know, I didn't start out quite how you did, um, as far as your you know, the dad edge, but it's a really amazing share. And I appreciate that because, you know, I grew up with, you know, if you act out, I'm going to, I'm going to, you're going to get the belt. I'm going to whip your ass. And it was a lot more bark than it was bite, you know, but and I, and I always thought that when I had kids, I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm a spank. And I turned out

fine. And then once my first born was here, I was like, there's no way I'm ever laying a hand on hand. And, you know, and I still haven't, but, you know, sometimes my reactions to them when I have a bad day is even worse. Because it's psychological. It's like, why is dad so mad? Why does dad not want to talk to me? Why does dad not want to play with me? And, you know, I guess we can segue into like one of the most important questions I have for you because I was really just impressed with what you're doing with your oldest son right now. In fact, that's how I finally took that step to interact with you on your, on your post and then even send you a direct message because that's one of the things that I feel that I struggle most of it. is getting out of my own way and in the frameworks of my day to create this epic memory with either one of my children. And here you are, right? And I'm going to let you share it. But you're

literally preparing to compete for bodybuilding show with your oldest son. Talk to us about that journey. Yeah. So he's actually not my my oldest. He's my secondborn, but they're so close in age. So my 15 year old is, my 14 year olds my second. So, you know, it's amazing, right? Four boys. All of them are so different. And I've got fascinating connections that are very unique to each one of them. Luckily, my, my oldest one is very, very active. He's a runner. And so he does track and cross country. And then he also plays musical instruments. And I can't, I can't play a musical instrument to save my life. I've tried, you know, and I just, I'm just, I'm terrible at it. And I've been working at it.

But he and I, you know, we have running in common. And we also, we also have some of the things too, like the way we talk is like, so we're both like very empathetic human beings. And we, we talk very well together. Now, my 14 year old is, is he's very athletic, very strong, very determined, very stubborn, in a good way, bad way, too. very introverted and will literally die before he gives up on something. Like he's literally that way, which I think is amazing.

So he's played football for the past five years. He's been, you know, a fantastic athlete. He's 135 pounds and he plays on the offensive line. He is the lightest one on his line by 50 pounds minimum. And but he's, he's insanely strong and athletic and he's got a heart of like, I will never give up. So he played all last year on the offensive line, did really well. So this is his last year, you know, putting on his middle school football uniform.

He's been playing for five years. He's getting ready for freshman football next year. And we were, his birthday is on January 1st. So we've had the same tradition as a family. We watched a big apple drop. We play games. We, you know, we, my wife and I have a few drinks. We all eat terrible, you know, all this stuff.

And then he at midnight, he blows out a candle. And then the other thing, too, is we, we have, we have. asked the boys, you know, on New Year's Eve. We're like, hey, what are we doing in 2020, right? What are we going to do that's big? How are we going to make memories? How are we going to make experiences? Like, what are we going to do as a family? How are we going to connect all these things? And my son, it was funny. He, uh, I did bodybuilding for from 1995 to 2011. I did 12 shows. Never the biggest guy. I'm 160 pounds when I hit the stage. I just try to get as lean as I can. I've always actually done surprisingly well in shows, but it's not because I'm the biggest.

But 2011 was the last time I competed. And back in June of last year in 2021, we went on a family vacation. And we were at this pool. And Mason was like, you know, he's like, dad, like I'm really into fitness and how I, you know, like how I want to lift heavy weights and do all so of the stuff. I'm getting ready for football. He's like, I want to do a bodybuilding show like you used to do. And I'm like, wow, man. I was like, I don't think they have bodybuilding shows for kids who are 13.

He's like, well, why don't you Google it? And I googled it. And I was like, holy cow, man. like there's actually four of them not far from where we live and they're in 2020 he's like when's the first one i was like april 30th 2002 he's like okay he's like we should do that i'm like okay yeah cool football season hadn't been started yet i'm like this will be here today gone tomorrow sure and you know he goes through football season and then new year's eve he's like hey i've been thinking a lot about this um i want to do that show and i want you to do it with me and i'm like dude and i'm sorry but

i don't i don't care who you are or what your kid calls you i'm you out on something like that. I'm like, you can't say, you cannot say no to that. And you can't. You can't. And here's what I'll be really real with you on. Since most of your men, or most of your audience are men, though I think they'll really resonate with this message. I just went to, I know I'm kind of segueing here, but this next point's important. Over the past several months, what I've noticed in my own life is that something was missing and I didn't know what it was. And I just couldn't put my finger on it.

I'm kind of like you. You know, I rise early in the morning, work out, do my thing. I'm always into self-care. I eat pretty clean, all these things. But I noticed there was something missing. And I went to this Squire program, which is a ride of passage. It's a 15-hour crucible for a man and his son. It's out in California.

I took my oldest to it. And it's a lot. It's physically, mentally, emotionally, taxing, you know, to go through this with your son. It's not easy. But one of the things that they said is, Every single man, young man, old man, whatever, you need three things for fulfilling life. And if one of them is missing, two of them, or all three of them, life feels really often terrible.

Every man needs to battle to fight, an adventure to be had, and a beauty to love. Now, the actual term is beauty to rescue. I personally, I don't like beauty to rescue because I feel like if I'm going to share that point with my kids, they're going to think of a codependent relationship. I need someone I need to save. I don't save anybody. you need someone to love. So I thought about that and I was like, wow, I really don't have an adventure to be had right now.

And I certainly don't have a battle to fight that's big that makes me uncomfortable. So I thought to myself, I was like, okay, I was like, I will do that with you. And the coolest thing about doing that with him, honestly, is the five, six hours I spend with him, pushing heavy weight in the gym. I mean, listen, I'd like to sit here and tell you I don't care how I do at the competition, but I'm way too competitive to tell you that. And I do care. And I'm dieting hard for it.

But what I really have enjoyed and I'm filming it and I'm taking photos of it and I'm documenting it is this journey with him, right? To see this young man like push himself and he's pushing himself hard. I don't have to hardly do it. And to have that time with him, right? And the cool thing, I love these like subliminal messages that are being sent while we train together. because I will purposely push myself during sets to where he's having to lift weight off of me, right?

I mean, like when somebody's spotting you, you're going to go those extra two or three reps, right, or whatever it is. And when I'm doing bench press, I mean, I'll look at him and be like, I'm going to shoot for five, you know, on this, on this set. I'm going to try to get to seven since you're spotting me. And I will get to the point where I cannot physically push the weight anymore. And this kid is the one pulling it off his old man, right? and I do the same for him. And I think the message that really sense is, you know, hey, you're never too young to be a support for your old man.

And as your old man, I got you. I support you. I'm here to push you. I'm here to challenge you. And I'm also here that when shit gets heavy in your life, I'm going to help you. Right. So it's been quite a journey. He's not really dialing in his diet yet.

I am. He doesn't have to. He's already at like 7% body fat. So he's, I mean, he's going to look good either way. Yeah. But it's been cool, man, to just walk this with him. I think it's impressive. You know, in addition to everything you just said of what the subliminal message is, what it also signifies is it lets him know that you are there right there with him,

modeling the behavior that you want him to have in life. Because all too often, you know, parents like, you know, growing up, you do as I say, not as I do, like all that kind of old school mentality. when really modeling is so important, right? Our children are going to grow up and do and be and have the way that we associate and project onto the world. And you're right there doing it with them. And it's impressive.

And I'm not, you know, and I'm honest, I'm watching the whole thing, right? I'm watching your weekly progress picks. Dude, you're getting shredded. I'm trying, man. The body is a little bit more stubborn at 46 than it was at like 36. Yeah, I feel you on that, man. I'm 43 and it's like, it's just that way. Yeah.

No, there's there's really no, there's really no explanation in the, the, the, the scientific or what they say is once you hit 40, it just, it is, right? And, but I just, it's, it's impressive, man, because, um, the, the launch, the launch part of the conversation was, you know, basically making epic memories with your children. That's what this is about. And we cannot do that without patience, right, without preparing or, you know, preparing for that moment when you walk through the door where it may not be what you expect. And then also to get inside your children's heads in a sense. And I don't mean that in a bad way. I mean it in a way of like every one of your children, Larry, like different things. And you're finding a way to build memories and relationship.

in their own way. Yeah. It's differential. And I think it's so important. We cannot parent our children the same. They're different human beings. Totally different. Yeah.

And I think you have to really, as, you know, I know, I know one of the things you want to talk about was like how you, how you create like these memories, right, in these moments. And there's a few ways I think it is so important to be able to do that. And one of the ways we go about it, And it's right in line with doing this bodybuilding show is experiences over stuff. That's a mantra in our family. Experiences over stuff.

I'll be real honest, man. I drive a shitty car. Yeah, I actually, I should say this, my 15 year old is getting ready to drive in a month. So for the first time in my entire life, I went ahead and bought a new car. I'm actually leasing a car. So I'm not even buying it. But I've always wanted a Jeep. I went ahead and I put an order in for a Jeep, a Wrangler.

I'm getting that. But, you know, I needed a car anyway, but I was just like, you know, just one time, just for three years, just for 36 months of my life, I want to drive the car that I want. And that's fine. But, but like we shop at TJ Max. We shop at Marshalls, right? The kids don't have name brand clothes unless we find it on sale. Christmases are the same way. We have a minuscule budget for each kid.

But then we take the money and we do something we can experience. but you know kids will forget within five minutes something that they have like a widget of some sort right but they will never forget my my son and I have been talking about this um every time we train we're like let's let's go in this gym today tonight and let's let's leave it all out leave it all out on the bench of the table let's leave it all out there right because when you're 60 When you're 60 years old, Mason, and I probably won't be here. Maybe I will. I don't know.

But you're going to remember doing this show at 14, us together, right? Mm-hmm. And we're going to remember putting in all the blood, the sweat, the tears, and everything that we had into that moment that you and I got to co-create together. And, you know, I want, as Jessica and I, my wife and I, as we navigate life with these boys, that's really the search. That's really what's on our radar is like, let's do things that these kids will remember for a lifetime.

And I'm not talking about like extravagant trips to Hawaii or something like that, but I'm talking about like, let's go explore. Let's go caving as a family. Let's go floating as a family. Let's go cliff jumping as a family. Let's, you know, let's do like so we're also going to go, I think, to Yellowstone. We're going to try to hit Yellowstone this year. Oh, nice.

A few places in Utah. Last, you know, a couple of years ago, we stayed in a tiny house, you know, and we explored the surrounding area of where we were staying at. And it's just like little things like that. We're like, oh, man, you remember we did that? That was as crazy. It was so much fun. And I think that that's, that's a pivotal thing when you're a parent is like, there's plenty

of stuff out there that we can pour onto our kids. But what are experiences can we share? I'm almost hesitant to let my wife listen to this episode because she's going to look me straight in the eyes and she goes, I told you so. Oh, boy. Right. So like, but no, it was just because, you know, we, again, modeling, right?

I grew up a certain way. It was like I had all the new shit, right? And we did things, but it was mostly me playing baseball. So I played baseball all the way up through Division I. I played at LSU, right? I was a catcher at LSU. So it's like it was never like experience over things. It was like my father was so insecure, right?

And it felt like he had to one up his brothers because that's how they were raised. Like we always had the new shit, right? And my wife grew up in Ecuador, you know, third world country. And, you know, it's experiences with your family. over material things. And I'm glad you said that. I'm really glad you said that because it's one of my struggles. And I know, I know it's something that I need to really subscribe to because my kids aren't going to remember the Pokemon that they had or the, you know, the, I mean, the cool frozen castle at five. They'll forget that shit when they're 15. They'll almost be embarrassed that they

had it. Right. So it's like, this is, this is all awesome. And I, and dude, I could literally talk to you all day. And I know we're, you know, kind of running on our time budget. I know you're busy, man, you got things to do. But you know, I have a couple more questions for you. Yeah, man. I got turning a time. Okay, cool. Like, what's some of the advice that you could give young fathers in their journey of fatherhood, like right off the back? Oh, man. That's a big question. And yeah, and I'll answer it like this. here's a great perspective. You're in medical device sales. Who do you work for? Comment. Oh, okay, comment. Yeah. So I worked for Cardinal Health, Care Fusion. I worked for Smith

and Nephew in there for a little bit too. Here's what I'll say. I want all of your listeners to think about what it is you do for a living. Because men can identify with that really easily. We have some guys who are in the military or former military, right? We might have some guys who are cops and firefighters. We have guys like yourself who are in sales, right? right? Anything that we do and we do well, we've been through training, right? And we've also been what we call, you know, continuing education, right, to constantly refine the skills. I don't know about you, but when I first got my first taste in medical device sales, they certainly didn't throw me into the OR with scrubs on and be like, best time of your whole life to go figure it out. Be like,

no, you need to, you first of all, you need to understand what, what is the sterile field? What does aseptic delivery mean? Why do you wear a mask that? this way. This is how you don a mask. This is how you put on a gown. This is how far you can get from the sterile field. This is how you can instruct your, your surgeon. I went through three weeks of home study, three weeks of away training, another three weeks of home study, and then another three weeks of away training where they basically simulated the OR, right? There was no way that they're, right. There's no way. And that was that was for my first gig with Cardinal Health, which was surgical drapes, gowns, buffon, cover, all the all the non-sterell

apparel and then all the sterile packs and all that. And even for that, which is kind of considered more of a commodity, right, you still had to really know your stuff because you told the, the surgeon the wrong way or aseptic delivery improperly, it's like you screwed up the entire sterile field. Well, you know what? Being a father is no different. And here's the, here's the thing that's a miss. We're not necessarily supposed to know how to do it. And that's the perception we have. well, I'm a man and now I'm a father. So just by natural DNA and instinct, I should know how to raise this kid, flawlessly.

And if I don't, I'm broken. I'm weak and I'm this. And I'm certainly not going to ask for help because then I'm really letting other people know that I'm broken and weak. And what I'll tell you is do away with that belief whatsoever. Like literally give yourself a break. Understand that your profession as a father is no different as a profession you do for a living. And I want you to think about that for a minute.

if you are new to fatherhood or you're going to be a new father or maybe you've been doing it for a year and you've been struggling with it, think about what you do for a living and how much time, effort, energy, and resources you've invested into honing that craft. And then I want you to really think about how much time, effort, energy, and resources have you honed into the craft of fatherhood and being a husband. Most of us will plan for the birth of the child more than we plan on raising the child. Most of us plan the day of the wedding more than we plan the marriage, right? and that's unfortunate because there are skills in each one of those things. There are things that you need to learn and do that are essential and critical to your success.

And I'll also say this, critical and essential to your sanity. You will drive yourself completely crazy and emotionally crazy if you are just meandering your way through it or are doing it blindly or doing without any guidance whatsoever. So I'll tell you this, get a mentor, get a coach. join a mastermind. And I know that probably sounds self-serving, but I say this all the time, that if you are not doing those things, if you are not in a community or an environment where people are trying to sharpen each other, like, listen, if you're a medical device sales, I have no doubt, you're calling your boss, right? Be like, hey, man, like, how can I do this better? Like, what do you think, right? Or you're calling your coworkers be like, man, this customer just said

this. And I'm trying to figure out how to best position my product. I'm not really sure what to do. what do you think I should do? And we're always asking for advice. Like, how can I be better? How can I do this? How can it? But when it comes to fatherhood or marriage, it's like, oh, my God. Like, I don't want to tell these guys that me and Jessica,

haven't really connected that much or our communication isn't on point or I'm losing my patience with my kids. Like, listen, open up the conversation. I'm a huge fan of like counseling too. A lot of people think that, well, if I go to marriage counseling, you know, we're broken. We're not meant for each other. Oh, my God. No.

Go to me. In fact, go to marriage counseling. as a preventative measure. Like I honestly think in order for you to be successfully married, I think what would be so amazing for everybody's, you know, sanity and guidance is if you had a meeting, if you had a counseling appointment with a marriage counselor, you and your wife,

every three months, or at least three times a year, every four, right? Just to be like, hey, this is what's going on. How can we, you know,

talk about things that are ahead? It's like that productive pause. we don't go 25,000 miles without an oil change, but we'll go years without any guidance in our marriage. And then we wake up and we're like, I don't understand why she's not into me anymore. I don't understand why we don't have a connection anymore. Well, you've burnt out the engine. You haven't gotten any oil changes. We don't expect these things in any other area of our life.

But for some crazy reason, our society and the way we think is we expect that here. And that's not the case. So what I would tell you is get around people that are ahead of you in this. Like I love the fact like in our community like I'm raising teenagers now, right? We have guys in the community who have raised teenagers and they're like, hey, they're 15. Like, hey, 16, dude, these are the things you need to be thinking about. And you need to be thinking about them now before they turn 16, before they get behind the wheel of car, before they have the girl in the car with them before they're at a party and

there's alcohol and there's drugs and then they get behind the wheel. Are they going to call you or are they going to drive that car? These are the things you need to think about. And I'm like, oh, man, I didn't think about that because as the last thing I'll say is this, as fathers and husbands, what we do is we tend to be more reactive. You know, it's like, oh, it's like, oh, man, we're now in this stage. I didn't really see that coming in. And it's here.

Now what do I do? It's like, it's not trying to like scramble to get that under control. But when you have somebody who's ahead of you or a community of people who are ahead of you in these things, dude, it makes life 10 times easier. And it makes it so much more fulfilling because not. you have a, it's like seeing the matrix. It's like, okay, my son's going to be 16. He's going to be behind the wheel of a car at the end of March. These are the things that I really need to be looking out for. Who are his friends that he's hanging out with? Are they drinking? Are they smoking

weed? What kind of girl is he dating? Are they going to, you know, is he going to be at a party? You know, is this girl want to get in the back seat of the car with him? I need to start talking to him about preventative things, right? Like all these conversations need to start happening now and not after the fact. He's like, oh yeah, dad, I drank. and drove last night, you know, when you could have gotten ahead of those things. So, and this is no different. Yeah, man, I mean, it's, it's super important. And, you know, I want to address something, you know, it's not self-serving. It's needed. And if, and if men don't seek these things out, like, I, my listeners, like, I'm going to be 100% transparent with my listeners. I've already

reached out to Larry and his team. Like, I'm going to talk with Larry after this, after this show, to possibly have a discovery call for me joining his. program so I can learn from him. Everybody needs a coach. I have a physical transformation coach. I have a business coach. And I would love to have Larry as one of my coaches to make him my third coach. So for those people out there that feel like you can do this alone, maybe you can't. But maybe you can be just a little more effective in getting with people that have been through this that are ahead of you, like Larry said, to help you achieve your goals. in your marriage and being a father.

I think it's super important. You know, because it is. I've gone years without that coaching, right? And now I'm sitting here with two coaches because it's time. It's past time, right? I mean, I'm 43 and I'm looking to build something here. So the more people I can have in my corner that have done that, been there, done that, that I'm in alignment with, too, guys.

that's the other thing that you have to understand is finding people that you're actually in alignment with and that their energy speak to you and not just hire somebody because person X, Y, Z says they have this person or that person is super famous. We need to find people that we can connect with that understand what we're going through. And what better way to hire coaches that have been exactly where you're at. Yeah, I totally agree. I'm a huge, huge fan of that. And I'll share with you just a couple of reasons why. We have this quote and it says,

you can go alone and go fast or we can go together and we can go far, right? And then there's another quote, and neither one of these are my quotes. A guy by the name of Aaron Walker came on the show and shared this one quote, and it's isolation is the enemy of excellence. Like we can actually get to unbelievable levels if we allow people to be our guide, right? Or if we allow to, if we're allowed to be a part of a,

if we're a part of a community where there's crowdsource wisdom of experiences. Like, listen, I'm no different than you. Like I, I practice what I preach. I'm always paying a mentor at sign. I'm always paying a coach. Like, you know, I've done 12 shows. I know how to die it down.

And like I have a client of mine who, who, you know, I basically reached out to. I'm like, hey, man, I'd like to, I'd like to work with you on the, on these, and these last 13 weeks to help me dial this in, right? And he's a competitor. He does this for a living. He's like, yeah, no problem, man. I'll give you free access to my thing.

I'm like, nope. Nope. I was like, do not do that. I was like, I know myself. And I will take it more serious if I have skin in the game. And if I have, every Sunday I have, I have to hit accountability and tell you where I'm at. Don't let me do this on my own.

It'll be disastrous. Okay, now I'm a pretty disciplined person, but I won't be as disciplined if I know I have to answer to somebody. So it's really important. And the other thing I'll say is this. I'll share this really quick story. I think it'll really hit home. You know, you have coaching clients. I have coaching clients. And I was really, I was really unaware of coaching. I would say when I first started this, especially back in 2015. And I always knew like a coach would be powerful in my life. But I was really, I didn't really know what that looked like because I never worked with one. And I'll never forget the very first time I joined a mastermind back in 2015. It's a funny story. I joined a mastermind

called Iron Sharpen's Iron. I was with Aaron Walker. He had bought and sold, you know, eight different businesses over the course of his life. He's in a 60, I think he's 60 now. One of Dave Ramsey's closest friends. They've been in a mastermind for over 25 years together as participants, like the two of them. And, you know, I really wanted some direction with what we're doing here at that edge. And at the time, I just had the podcast. I had no clue what the hell to do. Not a clue.

And I watched Aaron. I knew he had this group. And what he basically helped was Christian businessmen grow their business. And basically surround yourself with other uberly successful Christian businessmen to help them as well. So I met with Aaron. And he was just like, yeah, man, he goes, here's the deal. He's like, you can join one of our Monday groups. It meets at this time.

You got these 10 guys in the group. they're all highly successful. You do really well in it. It's $600 a month. You meet once a week. And I'm like, what? $600 a month. And at the time, I had no revenue in that edge.

You know, it was just a hobby. It was actually costing me quite a bit of money. And he's like, I was like, I don't have your revenue to support that. He's like, okay. And I was just like, well, I can't afford it. It costs too much. And he's like, he just kind of shook his head and smile. He goes, Larry, look, I, you know, you're young.

He goes, I'm just going to tell you this. you know, if you come in, if you decide to work with us, it's going to cost you $600 a month. It's going to cost you an hour of your time a week. But what you're going to get is you're going to get some real know-how and you're going to know exactly what to do. You're going to know exactly what to do next, how to build it. When you have questions, we're here for support. We're going to hold you accountable to go do these things.

And in probably a year from now, your business is going to look completely different than it is now. He's like, and you could also not do a thing because you feel. feel cost too much. He goes, but here's what I invite you to think about. There's a cost to doing life, right? There's a cost. And he goes, and I like to think of that as an investment. He goes, but there's also a cost in not doing anything. And that's opportunity cost. And I was like, well, and at first, I was like, what do you mean by that? He's like, well, here's what I mean. I want you to imagine your life 12 months from today. You and I are talking 12 months from today. You did nothing different and you just kept going. And I want you to think about what, you know,

if you got no guidance in your organization, no guidance in your podcast, how that would impact your marriage, what would that do to you with your kids and that kind of thing? And I really want you to think about what, what would it be happening in 12 months? And I was just, and I just kind of pause and he goes, you got 24 hours get back to me. And either way you land, totally fine. He goes, and if you decide not to move with us, here's what I'll tell you to do. From this day forward, look at anything that you invest in as a cost of doing something and a cost to not, because there's both. I hung up the phone.

I called them back in about 11 minutes and I said, I'm in because what I knew in that moment was the opportunity cost was way greater than actually being like, hey, I'm going to do this, right? And I realize, well, that edge is not going to even happen because I'm going to run out of capital, right? This mission will completely go away, which means I'm probably going to get stuck and roped back into the same old habits with my kids, not being patient.

I'm not going to constantly learn through the podcast. I'm not going to constantly share. It's going to be this massive, it could even impact my marriage. And that's when I knew, like, this is now an easy choice. And what I can tell you about is when you're investing in something like that, especially at the time, that felt very high to me, right? And what I'll tell you is that it made me show up. It made me like literally have a seat at the table.

and want to take in as much knowledge as I could, as much action as I could, and just learn, learn, learn, learn, and implement and implement and implement. I took it very seriously. And because of that, I swear, man, without that moment, without that tough love from Aaron,

I would have told, you and, well, first of all, we wouldn't be talking. But second of all, I'd be telling my friends, you know, yeah, I had this good idea once and I let it go.

It's powerful, man. And guys, I really want you to taking that in because this is a this is a man that has created a podcast as you heard as a hobby and this has spun into creating this legendary life with his wife and his children first and foremost and it's become a business to someone where he coaches people coaches groups he's wrote two books I mean you know this is an all in a matter of how many years six years I mean it actually started you know, in 2011, so it's been 11 years.

But then in 2015 is when I started the podcast. Yeah, I mean, so guys, you know, this is something that I want everybody to take in because this conversation with Larry has truly opened my eyes to a lot of different things just about who I am as a person, father, and husband. And, you know, I'm looking forward to a furthering relationship, hopefully friendship down the road with Larry and guys hold on to people that you know can help you get to where you want to be in life not because of their status or whatever it is, their juice and their social circle, but because they give a shit. That's the most important thing. And, you know,

some of you guys are going to watch this on Spotify. You can see the video. You'll see that Larry gives a shit. For the people that are watching this on Apple Podcast, flip over to Spotify and watch it. because you're looking at a true dude from a flyover state that has made it happen in his life and in his family's life. And with that, Larry, I got a couple questions. Yeah, man. One, where can, so it's two-term questions. Sorry, my dog's, that's all right. Where can my listeners find you? And how can they best support you? So they can best, the best way to find me is the dad edge.com. Everything we're doing is the dad edge. So Instagram, the dad edge, the dad edge.com, YouTube, the dad edge, Facebook. You can find our

page of the dad edge. I even just recently opened up a TikTok account. I swear to myself, I would never do that, but I've hired my boys to manage that account for me, which is, which is cool. I was actually shocked how many fathers are actually on TikTok looking for resources. Yeah. And, and so we, I literally just created one last week. I think, where yeah we have like four followers right now but that will grow I'm sure but I'll follow you right when I get off of this thing man there you go um but yeah that's that's that's that's the best way to find me you know if if our if our mastermind is is something that you know is on your mind and heart we have uh dad edge alliance that's our flagship program then we also now we created uh another

program we've we've had uh now for years called that edge accelerator which is for business owners So we help men with their businesses. We help men with their marriages and with the experiences with their kids. We have coaches for literally all three of those categories in that group. I'm one of them. I'm the marriage guy. And then we actually have a CAO, which is our chief accountability officer. And it's Jake Herbert.

He is a former Olympic wrestling legend. All you have to do is Google him. And you'll see why he's our chief accountability officer and one of our coaches. But yeah, that's the easiest way to follow me. That's awesome. That's awesome. And how they can support you is through followership, being a part of your community, looking into your masterminds. And it's something that they're interested. Fill out your application online. It's really, really simple, guys. Type in the dad edge onto your search engine.

It'll take you right to the About Me page. It's really cool. You can learn more about Larry there and you can find the application. More importantly, man, the most important question of the show is how can I support you? Oh, man. You know, just, here's, here's the best way you can. So here's a way you could support now, right? Which is if you learned anything from this podcast and obviously talking to you, Sean, or talking to anybody in the audience, I think what we forget a lot is that people watch us and people listen to us. And if we stand up and we lead, you know, so if you took anything from this particular podcast that you, that you learn. Maybe it's a skill within resilience or patience. Maybe it's just something as simple as I'm not going to check my phone for 60 minutes

after I wake up, right, and get my thoughts on my head and my heart right. Maybe it's something, but it's being able to just share one thing or share it by just simply exemplifying it, right? Because people are watching you. And then, you know, the other thing, too, is that, you know, we tell this guy, we tell these the guys in our mastermind all the time. And if you come and do life with a Sean, it's no different, that you're going to operate differently when you're in our community, right? You're going to operate differently within the workplace, within your own mentality, your own emotions, your marriage, with your kids, the whole nine yards. And what we tell men to do is operate and be very, very proud of how you're operating

because there will be people coming up to you saying, man, what are you been doing lately, man? You just seem different, right? And that's when we always tell guys like, this is not just for our guys who come and do life with us. we're trying, the big picture here is we're trying to change the world. We're trying to change the mind and the heart of men to give them the resources they need to be successful because what we're really doing is it doesn't just stop at our generation of fathers.

You know, what we're doing, the actions that we're taking, like you have three kids. I have four boys. These boys are going to learn what it takes to be successful based on how we've operated in their life or we're giving them a fighting chance. And so it doesn't just stop with us. A lot of guys are like, well, if I, if I, you know, do coaching or a mastermind or do this, do that. Isn't that selfish? I'm like, man, it's actually one of those unselfish things you can do because you're setting up

success for your own marriage, your kids, your grandkids even. It's way bigger. It doesn't just stop with us. So just knowing that other people are watching you. And if you take anything from this podcast or any podcast that you listen to and you just make these small pivots, make sure that you share these pivots with other people so that we can all be better. Love it, man. Well, you heard it from the man. He had the dad edge himself, Larry Hagner. Guys, if you got anything out of this show, please share it with anybody you might think.

Tag me on social media. Tag Larry on social media. I want this message to get out. I love you guys. Larry, if you could, hang out for a bit. If you got a couple more minutes, I'd appreciate it. Guys, we're out. Thank you so much for listening. You guys have a beautiful day.