Determined Society with Shawn French | Adversity & Mindset - Living EVERYDAY with Kelly Siegel

Episode Date: December 19, 2022

Kelly Siegel is a successful entrepreneur, Author, and podcast host of Harder Than Life. Over the last 20 years, he has been the CEO of an IT Security Company, National Technology Management (NTM) and is now applying everything he has learned in life and business to helping become their best selves. All too often in life we succumb to certain mind-altering substances such as alcohol and drugs. Kelly Siegel is no stranger to that fact. He was the life of the party and if he was there, YOU knew it. Kelly is larger than life and he partied as such. Four years ago on New Year's Eve, he cut it loose one last time. Once Kelly rang in the New Year he set his drinking chalice down for the very last time. He is now alcohol and drug-free and living his ultimate life. Listen in as Kelly chronicles his journey to living a more enriched and fulfilled life with the focus on the ones he loves the most. Key Highlights: Becoming available and creating space Kelly's road to sobriety Discussion about the release of his podcast, Harder Than Life (January 2023) Kelly's Book, Harder Than Life (coming soon) How to live EVERDAY Being grateful Removing the chip on your shoulder to achieve true happiness Meditation's role in his life How having a busy mind affects your sleep and everything else Connect with Kelly Siegel: Instagram: @kelly.siegel.71 Website: Harder Than Life Connect with Shawn French: Instagram: @theshawnfrench Website: The Shawn French Twitter: Shawn French YouTube: The Shawn French   Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

way that the universe just in God just puts people in your path. Just like, okay, now you guys are ready for each other. Right? Like you guys are on this. What do you see? It's hard to interrupt. He calls it being available. It's saying no to a lot of things to create space and availability for yes.

I used to, I'm coming up on four years. I don't drink or do drugs. Before that, I was so busy having fun, living life, thinking that it was the best thing in the world, I didn't have time to meet Shawnee. I didn't have time to say, I want to come see your, your, your, your kids. I want to come see your family because the second I would be in Florida, it was party time. Yeah. Now it's like, dude, I'm going to be there.

I'm going to be present. What is up, everybody? Welcome back to another episode of the podcast, the Determined Society. Man, I got a special treat with you here today. I just spent about 20 minutes talking to my boy before we hit record. I'm like, well, shit, man, we better go and hit that button. just so the audience gets the most value out of this episode. We want to save some for you guys.

Before I get into introducing my guest, if you could, go ahead and subscribe to the show and leave a written review and show some love. I want to hear what you think about the show. But I'll get into today's guest. Today I have with me someone amazing. I call him the Big Seagull, because we know a lot of Seagull, but he is the Big Seagull. He's chuckling on the other end here because it's a little inside joke. But, you know, this gentleman went from childhood abuse to a multi-million dollar CEO of a big IT firm.

He is a future author coming up soon and a future podcast host coming up soon. And we'll get into all that. But hey, today, welcome my boy Kelly Siegel to the show. What's up, man? Well, no knock on to Little Siegel, our boy, Craig. But, yeah, it's funny how the universe aligns and gets people together. And I'm absolutely honored to be here. And I appreciate it, Sean.

And, yeah, we could talk for, for days, which, you know, we made plans to meet up in Florida. And I can't wait to meet you in the family and in person. So this is the beginning of a long lasting friendship and relationship. And I'm looking forward to helping you and giving back in any way, shape, or form. So fire away, buddy. I appreciate that, man. It's great to have you on the show. I know that, you know, we were supposed to meet.

For those of you listening, get a little hurricane things he needed to tie up because he's one of those things we call snowbirds. So he wasn't here during the hurricane. He came back down last week and we were supposed to link up. But I got a little too busy for him. And that's okay. But, you know, next week it'll be on and we'll get to see each other in person. And you're right, though, man, you know, the way things come together, the way we all come

into each other's paths. It's, you know, it's really amazing because we met through another group. And, dude, you just bring a lot of loving energy to the world. and I just, I had to have you on. So, you know, it's my pleasure. Well, I tell you, it's, I'm just grateful to be here and grateful to be in Florida. It is snowing. I'm in Michigan today.

It's snowing like crazy today. It is freezing cold. And I'm wondering, as you see the tan, I'm wondering what, I'm rethinking all my thoughts of why am I here? Yeah, I mean, like, like, seriously, I mean, but for those of you that are not watching, you know, watch this on, on video, my man's wearing a V neck, a short, sleeve v neck and it's snowing in Detroit and I'm in Florida and I have a long sleeve shirt on rolled up with the cuffs. It's like we are switched here. But no, man, I mean, I've never been to, I've never been to Michigan. Well, you're not missing much. Are you a Lions fan? Shut it. What are you? A brutal Lions fan. Oh, man. We grew up watching it is absolutely,

you know my boy jason wallers probably the only person that is more of a lion's fan than I am but I had season tickets in the family for over 50 years they literally raised the ticket prices when we went 0 and 16 25% I'm like I can't do it anymore it is

brutal but as much as you try to be lions free we're still rooting for them it's the ultimate underdog story man it's the world is against them it's against against against it gets and then they'll eventually figure it out. Dude, it's funny. Do you like hold any, I guess, animosity to the fact that, you know,

your quarterback fucking leaves. And then year one wins a fucking Super Bowl. What happened to Justin Verlander, too. So yeah, I did. You know, we went on an impressive run in the early 2000s where every, you know, the Red Wings were renting. The tigers were winning. The Pistons won. And So we were very lucky. So did it stink? I was very happy for Matt Stafford. Of course. Now it looks like it's funny.

We just talked about the universe and how it works out. So he's hurt and then they're on the decline. It looks like the lions are going to pass them. So it could be a win-win where they won the Super Bowl last year. They're going to tank this year. And we got a high draft pick. And then it works out. It's nice to see a win, win, win.

But yeah, it's brutal to watch. As much as we try and I try to be lions free and not watch it, I get sucked in and I watch them and I'm a die hard. But I said that, you know, when they do ultimately make the Super Bowl, which they will one day. Of course they will. In my life, I'll be there with Bells on, rooting them on. But I'll make this commitment with you.

I'll go with you when they make it. Yeah, we could be in London. Who knows. Yeah, we could be. It's crazy because I remember like, you know, growing up. I mean, I grew up in the San Francisco Bay. I'm a. When it comes to what your family eats and drinks, you know your choices matter.

You're the expert because you know what fits your life. And getting it right starts with good information. That's why America's beverage companies are sharing more information about our ingredients at good to know facts.org. No spin, no judgments, just the facts straight from the experts for more than 140 beverage ingredients. Visit good to know facts.org. fan. It always bothered me when the Niners had to play the Lions because Barry Sanders was so flipping good. Bro, you got to remember, we literally retired early. The two, the arguably two of the best, one of the best running backs and one of the best receivers to ever play the game. They

retired early rather than us to keep playing for this franchise. So it says a lot. But you know what? That's the definition of, you know, your shameless plug is the name of my book and the name of my pocket is harder than life. Yes. And it's the people that and the organizations that persevere through against all odds

that just stay the course and keep plugging away. And if you look at Dan Campbell, that guy keeps a positive attitude when everything is doom and gloom. And if everybody did that, this country would be a lot better place. Yeah, I mean, that's, I mean, we can go like on a trilogy on that statement right there. That could be like three fucking podcasts, man.

I mean, like, seriously, like this country would be a better place if. I mean, I think everybody in this country can literally write down a thousand different fill in the blanks to that one, right? I think the, I think the biggest one is compassion and empathy, right? And and being able to just like you said, like Dan Campbell, to push through the adversity. Compassion is a big one, man. And I have it up in my, in my bathroom where I look at it every day. It's, I can't remember who did it. It was one of, um, said gurus or somebody's things.

It's love everybody and tell the truth. Um, and I just, it's literally what I live by. Love everybody and tell the truth. Um, I was just going to say to you, compassionate love is very important. But telling the truth is, is up there too. And really the truth to yourself. If you think about it. It's, oh, I'm going to start this diet tomorrow.

Oh, I'm going to make another sales call when I feel better. It's it's just that what do they say? You fall to your daily habits, not rise to your training. So you can see it here. If you're those that are watching, everything with me is consistency, man. Discipline and consistency daily. And then it's funny, the harder you work for the longer you work, the luckier you get. Well, it's like compounding results.

It's just like interest. Like it's fucking, it's like if you, if you go out in sprints and you're super intense out the gate, you're going to get those results a little bit quicker. But you may burn out a little bit quicker too. But if we're consistent over time,

right, small actions, small actions, compound, compound, compound, result, result, bang. There's the breakthrough. That's the thing that people talk about. Like, oh yeah, it only took me 15 years to be an overnight success. I've been in business for,

25 years and this is the first year that we've actually really, really won. I mean, we, we kicked butt and took names. And it took, you know, we're overnight success after 25 years. So it's amazing. It's amazing. And it just says a lot about you as a person, but because you've been through that adversity in your life as a child, right? So you know what it is to persevere to through things and come out of it.

A lot of people and a lot of business owners would sit there and say, all right, 24 years in. This shit ain't working. Let's cut bait. Let's go do something else. And then they would have broken through on year 25. Yeah. What are they?

Night is darkest just before dawn. Well, that's good news over here, man. Because some days it feels like I'm in a fucking foxhole, man. Keep plugging, bro. Because I tell you, I just put a post on this. I think you saw it.

But I heard this twice. And I'm going to butcher it, but I'm going to get to the thing. It's if you, if they drain Lake Michigan. down and they started filling it up of the law of doubles. I think it's called the Monroe effect or something. So you put one ounce in one day, two ounces the next day, four ounces.

And you did that every single day. It would take 85 years to fill it back up. But after 10 years, it would be just puddles of water on the floor on the base. After I think it's 60 years, it would be five feet deep. After 80 years, there still would be six to 10 feet. that need to go fill in the top so the moral story is it's the very end where you make the most rickin the most gains and you got to believe you're making invisible progress every day and just don't give up invisible progress it's that's fucking big i've never heard that one before

well you've been seagull you got maw it's now called seagull now that's a really good one man because I think that a lot of times with individuals whether it's fitness whether it's you know business a sales any type of job or even in a relationship you're trying to get better in right it's like you don't see that progress every single day but what I'm hearing you say is you have to have faith that there's that invisible progress being made that's awesome I listen to a lot you know what got me started in this whole person I was I read all of John Gordon's books and he always says it really well faith over fear. Most people are governed by fear. Both of them are in the future. It's future and hasn't happened yet. So if you can decide in one, let's believe faithfully that good things are

going to happen. And the funny thing about it is when something bad happens, and you hear this all through personal development, well, it's happening for you, not to you. So I can look back on my life and everything bad that happened was re-pointing me in the right direction. I mean, So the success that I'm feeling now is from day one of the pandemic. March 20th, 2020, Michigan shut down. I revamped the company with a team.

We put in EOS. I tripled down on personal development, started reading extra, meditating, doing everything. It just took things to the crazy level. While everybody was drinking and using it as a reason to sit home and we don't have to work, I doubled down on the company,

on my personal development. Three years later, boom. Like overnight, we're freaking fixed. And now we're going to, just coming up, my birthday's coming up on Thanksgiving. Oh, no way. Yeah, we're going to have a little fun down in Florida. So I just had the best year of my life,

personally and professionally, and next year's going to be even better. And I don't even mind putting that out of the universe because I know my daily habits, my daily freaking motivations, my daily intentions are so in line that there is, just no way for me not to take the next step.

And as you know, got a podcast launching, got a book coming out. I still got a successful company in cybersecurity that's nationally known. And my whole intention is to just help people. Dude, that's amazing because we talk about the pandemic and that's when you double down on yourself.

That's when this podcast was created. That's when I began my journey. And it's funny because, like, you know, our boy Craig, that's when he started his. And here you are. This is when you started. It's funny the way that the universe just in God just puts people in your path. Just like, okay, now you guys are ready for each other. Right?

Like you guys are on his path. What do you see? It's hard to interrupt. He calls it being available. It's saying no to a lot of things to create space and availability for yes. I used to, I'm coming up on four years. I don't drink or do drugs. before that I was so busy having fun living life thinking that it was the best thing in the world

I didn't have time to meet Shawnee I didn't have time to say I want to come see your your kids I want to come see your family because the second I would be in Florida it was party time now it's like dude I'm going to be there I'm going to be present I'm going to be playing with your daughters I'm going to be wanting to frickin throw the football with your son it's just life it works out for you and you guys got to make good choices and I spent so much of my youth uh not even youth man I'm for I'll be 47 so take away four years that's 43 I don't feel like I started living until I was 43 I used to run around drinking going who lives better than us well everybody everybody crazy things I've done I went to Copenhagen Thailand and I was at the full moon party

twice. I've been, I've met celebrities. I've done everything you could possibly do drunk. And I remember half of it. Half of it. Now I'm sober and I live every life. I get out on my boat in, in the ocean. And by the way, all my Florida, my Florida house was bought and paid for with alcohol because I quit alcohol. And what do you know? I have all this extra money. I put the house in Florida. Now I do a ton of business in Florida. I've met a bunch of friends down that I only know me as being sober and life is is great and even though the hurricane comes through, it's just like the hurricane coming through. Dude, I would come down. I'd get on the boat, go to Fort Myers Beach, look, see how riffraff he is. See people puking at the, at the freaking Lonnie Kai. It was just

disgusting. You know what? The universe comes through and cleans it up. I feel terrible for businesses, but they will come back bigger, better, stronger. So as, as, you. As, you. As, you. As. As. You know, you live in day tight compartments, the next day is a better day. And a better day. And you build on that. And in a year or two, when Fort Myers Beach is rebuilt, well, you and I'll be saying, I go, remember we're on that podcast? And we're laughing about it.

And look how beautiful this place is now. And that's what's the American dream. We come back stronger, better, and hopefully together. You know, I keep, I don't want to make it a political podcast. But man, this left and the right. no matter where you're at, we're all part of the same airplane or same bird. We need both wings to fly. So why are we trying to crash this plane?

Oh, man, I love, I love where you're going with all of this. There's so many great things in that whole fucking monologue there. First and foremost, I want to acknowledge the whole fact of, you know, Four Myers Beach in a year or two, right? It's going to be built up like a clear water beach. It's going to be the most beautiful fucking thing ever. And that is just like when you are torn. down to the studs as a person because I've been there, right?

You're torn down to the studs. You're completely destroyed and it takes time. And you think, man, this is the worst thing. My life is done. And then slowly you start to come out of it. You start to build a little bit and more and more and more. And then boom, you look around or I look around. It's like, the fuck, man.

Like I did this in the last five years. I haven't even stopped to fucking like acknowledge what happened, right? Like the house that my children live in, you know, like all that kind of stuff. It's like, and it's the same thing with other catastrophic things. Like it will all get better. And I feel terrible for the people that lost their lives, for the people that lost their homes. And that is something that I mourn for that every single day because I see it still. I see the piles of shit everywhere.

Oh, man. It was horrible. It's everywhere still. You know, but the reality of it is, those people on the beach are going to come back even bigger, battered stronger because that's what we do here. And as far as America, we are too dumb to see past our fucking noses. It's like, oh, I'm pro-Biden. So fuck you, Trump. I'm Trump.

Fuck you Biden. And the left and the right. and the right and everybody's fighting. What they don't understand is they're taking their hands and ripping into the heart and soul of America and ripping it out and stomping on it. Because like you said, it takes both wings to fly this plane. And if we don't, if we don't come together, it's just going to get worse. Well, here's what we forget.

And first and foremost, nothing gets solved without communication. So and then when you communicate, We all too often try to, we talk to convince instead of listen and be heard. And then on top of it, we, what is it? We need to start with what we agree on. Not what we disagree on? Let's, so what do we all agree on in America? We all want America to prosper.

We all want to be the leaders in technology, in education, in be the best country. Let's start there and work our way backwards. and we'll find that the things that we disagree on are infantile, are smaller. And then if we just focused on those things, I don't think anybody in this country wants to give handouts to anybody. No. No. I think even the people that need assistance are like, hey, man, I want to work.

I want to feel, I refuse to believe anybody is lazy. I'm sorry, I just don't. I don't think that that's the American way. So if we just focused on what we actually agree on and work outside from there, and all it's going to be is, okay, how do we get there? And that's probably what we differ on is how do we get the American dream? And some people are going to say, hey, man, you grin and you grin and bear and you pin your ears back and you go do it. Some people are going to go, hey, we need to share, we need to give.

We need to do it. Yeah. However we do it. Let's just do it. Yeah, let's figure it out. It starts with communication and talking, not disparagement. and screw you and cancel culture and, you know, yelling at each other. And it is, yeah, that's too much.

You know, I mean, again, dude, like, we're on this now. And I want to shift years after this. But, you know, it's, it started with COVID. It was the, it was one of the very first things on a global level that was happening in that, that the United States of America could display their difference of opinions. And it spiraled out of control. like it I mean it was bad it was like mask no mask vaccine no max and it's like dude do whatever I mean fuck do you man like you know I just I feel it was like the opening right I mean

two years later it's the fight still going on you know like you got you've got the left fighting or you know fighting with the right the right fighting with the left like guys listen Okay. It's it is what it is right now. Okay. Like you two groups right here that want to keep causing that division and that turmoil and the toxicity like, bro, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's all's fault. Well, the scarier thing about it, Shawning, is that is the censorship that's going on. The people that think that they believe social media is everything. You know what? Social media is programmed to feed you what you already know. And if you think that that's the truth and you're the, then man you might be part of the problem yeah it is those algorithms to keep feeding you things to sell you things realize that there's a whole other world out there i make sure and i listen to other uh podcasts that maybe not look at the world like i do i don't keep feeding myself with the same stuff

because i'm not i'm the first admit i'm not always right man i make i make mistakes like i'm human and and i want to see from other people's perspectives You know, where I'm going to, where I'm always going to draw the line is I don't believe in victim mentality. I just don't. If I believe in that, I would still be a poor kid in South Warren, Michigan or dead are in jail like most of my high school friends. And I just refuse to allow that. Yeah, man. There's so much more to life.

My life is what you make it. So, you know, that's just the shameless plug of just don't believe everything you see in here. I mean, I tried to Google a couple of the proposals here in Michigan, and they just fed you what they wanted you to hear. You couldn't get the real truth. Yep. That's not America. You know, it's just, it's people got to, I mean, when we had the pandemic,

they should have, they should have shut down social media. They literally, we should have a button that says, hey, we can't disseminate it. Because look at all the, remember when they said for a hot minute, that the you had to wipe down your Amazon packages. You could go to the grocery store. Like I laughed so I had to go if whatever this virus is transfer, it can be on cardboard.

We're fucked. Yeah, we're fucked. We're fucked. Because if it's that's anthrax. This is like anthrax. You are fucked. And you know what? I got a news flash man. There's a thing that was it Momental Maury, man. We're all going to die. Yeah. I got a news flasher. We're all going to die.

So and if people says, oh, we only live once. They don't know you live every day. We're going to die once. To live every day. Love it. And if the universe says it's our time, it's our time. You know, it's a good point. You know, it's funny because I'm sitting here,

just talking about time and, like, things coming in alignment. Like, when I asked you to come on the podcast is because I just loved your energy. And, like, we have had conversation. Like, dude, this would be a fucking badass show. It's going to be very dynamic. We're going to exchange energies. It's one of your favorite things to say. It's going to be amazing.

But I didn't realize. at the time that it was super timely. You were literally, your book's coming out in January, called Harder Than Life. And then you have a podcast that you're launching as well coming out in January, harder than life. Like, dude, let's talk about the book. Let's talk about the podcast. Let's let everybody know about this thing.

Yeah, it's a little, it's different, Sean. I own an IT company, National Technology Management, and during the pandemic, I decided to write a book. And it was supposed to be for cathartic. It was just, hey, let me get these thoughts. out of my head and I want to legitimize. I made a lot of money with buddies from drinking. And since I quit drinking, I lost a couple of customer, lost a bunch of friends. And I said, I got to get this out of my head and on a paper. And in the process of writing this book, my publisher said, this is fire. And I'm like, yeah, that's what I pay you to say.

And they're like, no, no, they're like, everybody that's read this is like, you've got to do something with us. So then I read it after it was done and went, oh, okay. So there was some real vulnerable things. And it was hard. There's some things in there that are just going to disgust you about how my family, my mother and my stepfather treated me. It's just disgusting. Some of the things are just wrong. But you know what? They did the best they could and I forgive them. And it took a lot of therapy and a lot of work. And really the final straw was during the pandemic is I just I hit a wall and I just sat there and I went I found this hypnotherapist and I did this hypnotherapy over Zoom and it was the final final thing that pulled everything out of me

and I finally stopped sabotaging my life. It started with quitting the alcohol and then I had all these feelings. I'm like, what are these feelings? Remember, I was a functioning. drunk. And I say drunk because I believe an alcoholic and I'm not trying to knock alcoholic anonymous. I just was it. I quit cold turkey. One day I was in Key West on New years, 1119 and I said, I'm done. Toasted New Year's, set it down and I walked away. And that's it. Haven't picked it up since. So if I if I was powerless over alcohol, then I wouldn't have been able to do that. So I started feeling feelings of that. I'd never felt before.

And I'm like, what is this? And after processing them and going through it, I realized I needed to take the next step. And then I wrote a book about it. And it was just all about, you know, you just, I didn't feel like I was love. I didn't feel like I was lovable. So I drank. Everybody loved drunk Kelly. I was the life of the party.

And I was entertaining. I could see how you would be. I could see how you would be the life of the party. Oh, funny story. So I bought a, I bought a house and fly. Florida and I was on a boat with some with my builder and they're all having fun and drinking and we're coming back in and music's playing and I'm dancing and bouncing around on their boat and I'm with somebody and and the builder looks over and goes this is this if this is how he is

sober how was he drunk? You don't want to know. So you know what? It's just being honest and vulnerable and realizing that there's a good story here. You know, my mother and my stepfather were physically emotionally abusive. they were they were alcoholics i don't say this to anybody feel bad i just want them to understand that that uh you know i i am truly harder than life i mean my mom the things she did is you'll hear read about the book the things she did she stabbed my stepfather we she was it was insanity

jesus it's like the eight mile over there bro it was a it's where i went to high school off of eight mile we went to high school with m&m m&m was was in it's it literally was that movie was very much like our life. Wow. And I'm grateful. I'm grateful to get up it. You know what? The truth is when I graduated high school, all my friends went to work. I just wasn't ready to work. I wanted to go, I wanted to go party and I wanted to go see the world. So I went to Western Michigan University, joined a fraternity and went, there's a whole other world out here. Calamazoo, Michigan is in between Chicago and Detroit. So then I'd go to Chicago all the time. I'm like, oh my God. There's so much more.

out of this world. I want to go have fun. And boy, did I. I, you know, like the tracks like, I was a, I was a drunken, uh, drunken slut. And boy, I forget attract everything that walk in. It was fun while it lasted. But now I'm living the best life in congruency. I love looking in the mirror. You know, you, you listen to Eric Thomas. She says, get out of the window and look into the mirror. And I hated who I was in the mirror when I was drinking. And even, I'm not talking about there. It didn't have to be drunk. I'd look at it.

I'd look. My face was blotchy. I'd make stupid decisions. I wasn't congruent. I wasn't authentic. I would make excuses. And, you know, I'd miss a sales meeting. I'd miss a sale because I'd say something stupid because I was hung over.

Luckily, I was a good dad, you know. And truthfully, I had a kid when I was 32. And that saved my life. It gave me the reason to at least slow down. and then at 43 I quit. And now I'm going to get, now the sky's the limit. I'm just going to give back and give back. And there's,

and there's no animosity to my childhood. And, you know, there's a lot of stories that I look back on my stepfather who was just nothing was ever good enough for him. He made me a man. Yeah. He made me a man. He made me a tough mother scratcher. The reason, if you see me on video, I'm a big boy.

I'm two foot nine, 220 pounds of muscle. The reason why I'm this is because my stepfather was six. foot to 265 pounds and always wanted to beat me up. And literally, damn, you're killed me one, several times, both of them. Damn, they're killed me. Well, guess what? I'm big. Nobody's ever going to put their hands on me again, ever again, and nobody ever has since.

So it's a great icebreaker that I walk in, damn, you're a big boy. And I have these 22-inch arms and it's like, people are like, whoa. And I'm the nicest guy in the world. I'm going to avoid. You would never, you could never make me angry. Never going to get mad. I'm never going to get violent. It's not going to happen.

It's amazing, man. It's amazing. And you know what? Once you give up that chip on your shoulder and once you really look at yourself and stop sabotaging yourself, life gets ridiculously good. Monday, I wake up in Florida, beautiful home on the water, jump on a plane, first class, home, Michigan. John,

come home, pick up my daughter. I get to sleep in a beautiful home in Bloomville Hills, Michigan. Life is great. I'm grateful,

but it's from the choices I've made that allowed me to do this. No, but I didn't get here by winning a quiz show. Now, is somebody looking out for me?

Yes. I have been in some drunken crazy rager freaking situations that I probably shouldn't have lived through. There's been times, I literally,

I still struggle a little bit with my birthday. my mom when I was eight years old beat the living crap out of me on my birthday she was drunk she didn't know hey man it's it's tough but it was happening for me yeah and and and i'm not i'm not sitting here asking for sympathy it's not easy to say those things but i'm getting better and better and better with it so people understand i'm not sitting over here putting on a front i'm not putting on fake this this really happened and i get and there's more stories it's just it's it's and i'll get into them and they're in the book.

I don't want to steal everything. Don't. I want to read it fresh. We're going to wrap with people. And we're going to talk about how people exemplify harder than life capabilities. I'm big on the no drinking and no drugs. I think that we lean on these as crutches way too often. I did it.

I thought I had it under control. And little than I know I wasn't living. And I was masking something. That's what they are. Alcohol, sex, drugs, even cannabis. If you're going to choose one or the other, though, man, take cannabis. Ain't nobody getting arrested for drunk driving. You're not beating your wife.

You're going to get hungry. Yeah. And you're going to think spiritually. But I'm big into my daily routines, my daily habits. You know, I do everything that probably you do. And I win from it, you know, meditation, workouts. You see my videos. I post at 430 in the morning.

I'm at the gym at 4.30. every day. I don't take any days off. Once in a blue moon on the travel days from Florida to Michigan, I get a little slammed because they land and I got to go to work. Other than that, man, day in, day out, trying to get a little bit better every single day. I love meeting new people. I mean, Johnny, we're going to have a good time together. Oh, absolutely, man.

I can't see you next week. It's like next to be fun. It can be great. We're actually doing Thanksgiving on Friday. So like Wednesday or Thursday, bro, like, you know, like we're Friday. I don't give a shit. Like, I'll make sure I have enough food. So how things work out too is, so there were three houses in a row that were built in Florida.

And I got to pick the house. I picked the middle one. So somebody on the one side of me is from Minnesota, Midwest, awesome. People on the other side of me, downriver, Michigan moves in. They've become family. We do everything together. That's incredible. Her name is Kelly.

She's awesome. We, it's just everything in my life. works out. It's, it's, it's, it's, I call myself the chosen one. I'm Jewish. Jesus was Jewish. Hey, I'm not saying I'm Jesus, but you don't see me in the same room, us in the same room, you know? Exactly. Exactly. Now, I mean, I, I truly love the story. And I can't wait to read the book, man. I, I, I need a signed copy, obviously. Um, but I, I'm excited to sit down and read it and, you know, listen to your podcast and really dive into it because you've shown a completely whole different dynamic. I mean, I already knew.

you're a great person. We were already friends. But there's some things here that I'm listening to that I could truly benefit from. I don't meditate. Like, I'm going to tell you something, dude. Like, the worst part about me is my mind does not stop ever. Like, ever. It is, it is disgusting.

It is my biggest strength and my biggest Achilles heel. More so the latter, right? So if I'm even sitting there in bed, or waking up my mind is never not on. It just goes and goes and goes and goes. And so it, it, it,

it, it, physically exhausts me. Uh, you know, I've been there, done that man. And I,

I, I don't, you know, I was talking to literally somebody, uh, an hour ago and they're like, oh, it's the best thing in the world.

Like, it's really not. You, your mind needs to have a break as well. It's a prison. It affects you sleep. It affects your focus. So, you know, nothing works for everybody.

There's, there's, it may work. It may not, but I would definitely try it. I use the call map and I do a guy in 10 minutes at least. I do notice I struggle to because my mind shutting off. I'm, I'm constantly thinking about how can I amp up this progress? How can I do more at NTM? How can I serve more? How can I be a better father?

What can I do to, be a better American. What can I do to be just better at everything I do? So if I do when I, when I meditate, I don't feel the effects, but what I don't feel is also I don't feel discombobulated. And I don't feel off. If I miss it for a day, which I have it in a long time over over 60 days, I think I'm sure, because it tells you, the app tells you how many days in a row you do. If I miss it, that day I feel off. Yeah. But do I feel great while I'm doing it? No, some days it's hard. Yeah. When I do it for longer than the 10 minutes, I get a benefit.

Just got to shut that brain off. And the whole concept of doing that is, is like working out. It's your straight, you're working your brain muscle. And it just gives you a little bit of time to focus. Now, I also journal. So if meditation doesn't work for you, try the journaling. A lot of the journaling just gets out of my head into something so you can just go to sleep.

The only thing I still absolutely 10010% struggle with is my sleep. I sleep six, six hours max. And even then it's interrupted. I'm 47. I get up in the middle of night to pee. No matter what doctors I've gone to, I get up. And if I could just sleep seven hours straight, I think that literally I would take over the world. But as far as stress and worry, I don't have any of that.

And fear, I fear nothing. Usually you'll see me with a hat. I don't, I'm not, we're not in control. Like surrender and allow the universe to, to give you its gifts. And you do most of that. I would, I would tell you to try the journaling and try the meditating and see what happens. It's not for everybody.

But I do the journaling. It's funny because like, I never have a hard time falling asleep. Like, I'll fall asleep. Like, my wife will make a joke. Like, I think my husband is narcoleptic. He falls asleep all the time when we're watching TV. I'm like, it's fucking 11. I'm falling asleep.

I wake up at 4. You know, so like I'm, I'm going to fall asleep. Wait a minute. That's only five hours of sleep. Are you? Yeah, I don't get up sleep. I'll get up sleep. Oh.

I'm getting up sleep. Uh-uh. Well, then we're, we're brothers from another mother. Yeah. There's shit, dude. I just, my problem is if I,

if I could sleep seven, if there were seven hours of sleep, I woke up six hours on the nose every time. I think it was the other night. I slept for eight hours. Oh. But I was sick. I'm sick.

So it was like I didn't feel great when I woke up. I still don't feel great. Like I feel like absolutely garbage right now. You know, so I'm like hoping tonight or tomorrow I can feel better, you know, because I want. If you read,

you ever read Denny of Joe Dispens's work, how you manifest. And so he believes that you can breathe into these sickness. And I'm not, can you last night I tried it? I had a little stomachache. I went out to dinner and then I had to go visit some friends. I just didn't, I felt all day yesterday.

I was off. So I pulled over and I just did some breathing into my stomach. I felt better. I woke up today. I was right as the weather. Interesting. Yeah, I don't. So many people claim it.

I just, I do it just because I, I steal things from everybody. I think it's a good thing. It's like a puzzle. You put the people. Well, try that calm map because you have the day. It's a daily calm.

This lady comes on for 10 minutes and guides you through. it and you know i see the benefits cool cool i'm reading jay shetty's book right now and he you know he's if you've followed any of his i have it the was i think like a monk no that's a i have to think i think like a monk i'm looking at it right now yeah that's what i'm reading right now and he you know he lives then they got the daily jay where he does seven that guy's just brilliant yeah no he's he's next level brilliant he's well i mean he went to be a monk for three years. Yeah.

Yeah. That's like the sign for me to actually pick up that book. Full disclosure. I started reading it. Tim pages in and I'm like, yeah, I can't do it. Really?

Because not because it was bad. So Jay, like he's actually fucking listening to this, right? But it's not because I didn't like it. It's because it was forcing me to realize that I needed to slow my mind down. I couldn't do it. So I was like my mind was in 17 different places

when I was reading that book. It was nuts. So you're on to something right there. Meditation and reading. So I have no problem falling asleep. I just have a problem staying asleep and then sleeping more than six hours. And I'll figure that out. But you know what?

That's the only thing. I caffeine up. I live and die by coffee. Any given time, you'll see me with tons and tons of coffee. But I eat while I train. You're talking in your videos. Dude, I wake up in the first thing in the morning.

I got to get things off my mind. and life's good. I get excited to see what's next. Every single day I'm excited and grateful. Yeah, man. It's just being present is everything. All you can control is right here, right here, right now. If I worry about tomorrow, it isn't going to help it.

If I freaking regret from it, it's not going to change it. Right here and right now and just being who you really are. And meaning what you say, I live and die by the four agreements. If you haven't read that, you got. I highly suggest to read that. That's my mantra book. And I read at least 10 to 30 pages a day because I just, I want to feed my mind. That's good, man.

That's a good one. Look, dude, we're going to land the plane here, right? I can talk about, I can talk with you all day, but they'll probably turn it off and it wouldn't come back to it. But let me ask you two more questions, man. What can my audience do to best support you? Well, we go to Instagram, follow him on Instagram. We got some great posting, some great content. It's Kelly.

Segal that's spelled S-I-E-G-E-L-S-E-L-71. And we got harder-than-life.com. Go over there. When it's out, it'll be all over social media. The book's fire, man. It's not like anything else that you've ever read. It's raw. it's it's real it happened I've given my email address if anybody wants to reach out to me I want to be

available because yeah frankly Sean we talked about this before what I'm doing is I'm not doing this for the money so to speak I want to give back to charity a portion of every single dollar I bring in from heart of the life is going to charity I I grew up poor and and I'm under privilege and I want to give back so so other kids won't have that issue so portion of every dollar goes goes right to charity. I will be posting all that stuff every year for the rest of my life. It's, it's my purpose,

not my passion, is to give back. And I'm going to have fun doing it, man. And I'm going to help a lot of people. A lot of people reach out to me for the, for the alcohol. I struggle with that because I just walked away.

But I'm going to help however I. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. Dude. I appreciate people like you that, you know, want to help and get back.

So other people don't have that struggle or at least they have assistance while going through that struggle. So nobody's alone. No, absolutely not. And it's funny because I'll say this. Then I'll get to my final question is you are just like me. I give out my personal information more than anybody that I know.

I think people are you giving people your cell number? I'm like, fucking why not? What am I doing this for? If I don't give out my personal number, if I don't give out my email, then I'm kind of leading the wrong way. here. Like, I'm doing this because I want people to contact me, you know, and that's not going to

Google me really easily and you're going to get it anyways, because I've been doing this for 25 years and it's saying, you know, I had a conversation with Howard Schultz from Starbucks, and he was the same way, literally, just found him on, called him and he's like, Kelly, I want to talk to you. No shit. His best advice was rollout EOS. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Unbelievable. Well, listen, man, what can I do to best support you? Uh, man. Uh, man. just your friendship and your love and the support. I'm actually going to ask you the same thing because I want to make sure. I'm going to put this out there.

I want to make sure you come on my podcast so I can support you. That'd be great. And, you know, just have some good chocolate cake for when I come down to Florida next week because I'm okay. I'm a chocolate junkie. I'll share it with your kids. Are you,

are you related to me? Like, seriously. My brother from my mother. I'm done. I am done when you throw a chocolate cake in my face. You don't think that that, that one, the fucking P. F. Changs.

They got that big, that big piece of chocolate cake. Oh, my God. My daughter and I, you can look at my postings. We get that and go to town on it. Dude, that thing. Oh, my God. That thing is so good. Oh, like it's my job. Oh, I love it. I love it. Well, dude, I love you. And

you heard it, guys. He did give his Instagram handle, but don't worry. It'll be in the show notes so you can go and click on it. And it'll take you right to his link so you can connect with and have some fellowship with him and exchange energies. And don't forget to go to harder than life.com, pick up that book, listen to the podcast. And with that being said, Kelly, my man, thank you so much. And enjoy the daughters tonight this afternoon, buddy.

Absolutely, my man. Peace. Talk to you. Dude.