Determined Society with Shawn French | Adversity & Mindset - Navigating Fame: Kelly Chase's Inspiring Path to Prioritizing Mental Health

Episode Date: December 18, 2023

Join entrepreneur and reality TV star from Netflix Love is Blind, Kelly Chase as she confronts her deepest insecurities and fights to reclaim her worth, inspiring listeners to prioritize mental health and self-care in the face of overnight fame and social media pressure. My special guest is Kelly Chase Kelly Chase is an entrepreneur, social influencer, podcast host, speaker, and reality TV star, best known for her role on the hit Netflix show Love is Blind season one. With over 400,000 followers on social media, Kelly uses her platform and voice to inspire others to chase life and make the most of their journey. She graduated from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition as a certified holistic health coach in 2013, and her journey into personal development has been a significant part of her life, leading her to develop her brand, Chase Life with Kelly. Through her own experiences and growth, Kelly shares valuable insights into overcoming insecurities, prioritizing mental health, and finding self-worth. The longer you are with yourself, the less you will consume and feel inferior or like an imposter. Anxiety really decreases once you start tuning into yourself. - Kelly Chase In this episode, you will be able to: Embrace personal growth and cultivate a positive mindset to unlock your full potential. Navigate the complexities of fame while maintaining mental health and well-being. Prioritize mental health to achieve balance and fulfillment in your life. Discover the power of self-value and self-care for lasting happiness and success. Recognize your worth and conquer insecurities to live authentically and confidently. Prioritize mental health and well-being. Prioritizing mental health and well-being is the foundation for overall health, happiness, and success. Amidst the challenges of fame, it can be beneficial to balance professional responsibilities with self-care practices. Kelly Chase’s personal story serves as a reminder that even in the face of external pressures and expectations, it is crucial to nurture   Navigate fame while prioritizing mental health.  Navigating fame can be a challenging process, often leading to feelings of being overwhelmed or compromises to mental health. Kelly Chase, a former reality TV star, discussed the panic and anxiety she felt after experiencing sudden fame. However, she highlights the importance of implementing a robust self-care routine and prioritizing mental well-being amidst the pressures of fame. Chase encourages individuals to recognize the importance of taking time for self, including digital detox and periods of reflection, which can allow for emotional processing and improved mental health. Connect with Kelly- IG- https://www.instagram.com/chaselifewithkelly/?hl=en Connect with Shawn- IG- https://www.instagram.com/theshawnfrench/?hl=en   Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When it comes to what your family eats and drinks, you know your choices matter. You're the expert because you know what fits your life. And getting it right starts with good information. That's why America's beverage companies are sharing more information about our ingredients at good to know facts.org. No spin, no judgments, just the facts straight from the experts for more than 140 beverage ingredients. Visit good to know facts.org. I'm like, hey, if you put away your phone for like 24 hours, I bet like your whole like nervous system will like be more grounded. Like you will act really feel better if you take a detox because you are consuming all this information.

That is your subconscious is picking up. It's running 95% of us is running on autopilot from our subconscious mind. So we are consuming unconsciously all this information that is actually creating all these insecurities and fears and limiting beliefs too and these stories about ourselves that we're not worth it or we're doing something. wrong or we should be doing this, we're supposed to be doing this, or we, whatever. And it's like, you know, if we can just take a break, I think that it's so healthy for our mental health. Southwest Florida is one of the most beautiful places on the planet to live. For those of you that are thinking of moving from other states to come to Florida, or even just moving to a different part of the state, I want you to think of a big, beautiful, luxury home. Contact legacy luxury

builders. They are a family-owned and operated luxury residential construction company. As a family-owned business, they believe in the power of building not just homes, but legacies. Contact legacy luxury builders. The nightmare feeling like you'll never measure up of constant second-guessing and self-doubt. It eats away at you and destroys your confidence. I've been there too. Feeling like I didn't belong on the field with my teammates, but it doesn't have to stay that way. I used to compare myself to everyone around me. I thought that no matter how hard I work, I'd never be as good as the other guys. It killed myself, believe. I now help athletes develop an elite mindset, so comparison no longer controls them. We teach techniques to cut out the negative self-talk and unlock the full potential.

Imagine stepping into the box when it counts the most and feeling totally confident in your ability, feeling invincible instead of insecure, ready to seize the opportunity instead of shrinking from it. That's the mindset I help athletes develop. Don't waste another minute on comparison and self-doubt. Take control of your mindset and become the confident, unstoppable competitor you were meant to be. Liam or comment below to get started with Edge and transform the mental game. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to another episode of the podcast of Determined Society.

I have with me an entrepreneur, a social influencer, a podcast host, a speaker and reality TV star, best known for her role as a cast-made. on the breakaway hit Netflix show. Love is Blind Season 1. She has over 400,000 followers on social media, and she uses her platform and her voice to inspire others to chase life and make the most of where they are in their journey. Kelly Chase, welcome to the show.

Thank you. I'm so happy to be here. I'm Jack to have you on. I'm grateful for our friend, Kiera, mutual friend, Giarra introducing us and getting us where we're at right now. Absolutely, me too. I love connections all about it. Dude, it's crazy.

It's crazy. Everybody's just so connected like that one degree of separation, right? It's you just never know who you're in front of and who's in your realm and who you can network with. So it just makes it so much fun. I agree. Totally. So how's your day been? I know it's been a long day and we're both winding down.

So talk to us. Yeah. Yeah. It's been a long day. We have. So I work full time also on top of all the things you just mentioned. I feel that. Oh, my God.

But yeah, but I really enjoy what I do. I actually work. I'm a sales rep marketing, account manager, that type of thing for an orthopedic company. But I work with more like attorneys and chiropractors that work in the personal injury motor vehicle accident workers' comp space. So I was out driving around meeting with all of our respective referral sources today and just not. all of them obviously, but about, normally I do about six the day and today I did like 12 or 13. Necessarily meet all 12 or 13, but I had to make the stops get out of the car, walk, you know, do the thing and knock on doors and they're locked. They're locked. You know, and then I was. I feel you on that one. As you know, I'm also in medical and I have other things that going on as all the other things that I'm doing as well.

so I can relate to the grind, the exhaustion, but also the purpose that that sits behind it, right, to help others. And I just love your brand, Chase Life with Kelly. That is really awesome. Can you talk to the audience a little bit about how that originated and just how it just really catapulted maybe even after Love is born? Yeah, absolutely. So I actually went through the Institute for Integrative Nutrition in 2012, graduated in 2013 and that program set me up to become a holistic like a certified holistic health coach.

In that program, the last five or so months of the program, you're in addition to learning still the health components of everything and just, you know, educating yourself on nutrition and whatnot. They also start you, they get you prepared to like launch your own coaching business. So essentially they're like, you have to come up with a name for yourself. And I could have been like Kelly coaching with Kelly or something. But I wanted something a little jazier. So an ex-boyfriend actually came up with my name, Jace Life.

That's cool. I'm like, I attribute that to him. But yeah, I just stuck and I created, you know, an Instagram presence. I was posting things on Instagram and Facebook pretty consistently since 2013 for the most part. And I did, once I went on Love is Blind, I got done filming that and everything. And I just really leaned heavily into personal development. I had started probably the year before we filmed Love is Blind with the personal

development stuff, but really like actually worked with like a one-on-one mindset coach post-filming. So that is when everything started to really go deeper with me on that journey. And now I just feel like I can add so much more value to whether it's clients or friends or family that I'm talking, anybody that I'm talking to, because I just have a different awareness of life more so. And like really, I mean, what the mindset coaches have done for me is just really help me have awareness into my limiting beliefs and the things that were keeping me stuck, those

blind spots and helping me see that I can actually like, okay, there's the awareness of the block. How do we move through it so that we can expand and evolve into that next level version of self that I think most of us are craving to be. come, but we don't know how because we've got all the limiting beliefs keeping us back. So it's been really neat to just, yeah, just continue. I mean, I still study the work. I do mindset work every single day still, and I love it. And again, I just feel like the way that I show up in this world is different because of the tools and the concepts and the ideas that I have studied now and

been taught, I guess, over the last four or five years since we got done filming that show. So it's been really cool. Has it been that one? Yeah. We filmed in 2018. So, yeah, five years ago. Wow. Well, I mean, I guess so because we're, you know, coming up on season six here, right?

So. Yeah. It's flying. It really does. Yeah. I'm cool. I just want to everybody to have that, like, idea of they can really, like, become a better version of themselves and, like, create a life that they really,

crave. So that's kind of my two little taglines with Chase Life. Dude, I love it, man. I love it. I mean, that's what this show's about, right? It's about personal growth. It's about getting through those adverse moments and becoming a better person on the other side. And, you know, I'm a mental performance coach. So I take mindset very seriously. And everybody has blind spots, right? Let's talk about that really quick. We have blind spots in limiting beliefs. And a lot of times, though, most, I would say 99.9% of the time, those blind spots are reserved for people within your life that can actually see them, right? But in your case, you were on camera, right?

So how was that, like for you watching all that? Because, I mean, in this household, you were loved. Straight up. You were loved. I know you caught a lot of flack after the show. But I mean, you grew so much. But how was it seeing those quote unquote blind spots and limiting beliefs show up for the whole world to see? Yeah.

I honestly, it was very challenging for me because I, and I would speak on this too, although, you know, Netflix didn't love this when I was like speaking my truth. But, you know, they obviously they create a narrative and a lot of what the show did, you know, display for us was very true to me and everything. They just spun it out there at the end. But, you know, they had filmed it in 2018 and the show aired in February of 2020. so what, 16 months later about, that they aired the show. And I had done, like I said, I hired that mindset coach like four weeks, I think after we got

done filming. And I had worked with her for four months. I worked with other mindset coaches. I was constantly diving into like masterclasses after masterclasses, reading my own personal development, journaling, trying to like really work through my own stuff. And so I was, when I was watching the show back, I'm like, oh, my, like, who is? Is she? Like there's, like, wow.

You know, like I felt like I, because I had been doing some personal development work for a year, you know, leading up to the filming of the show, I felt kind of confident then and that I had like all this emotional intelligence and everything. But it's like now I have so much more awareness. And even in 2020, it was so much more awareness than I did in 2018. So it's like me watching myself. It was really humbling and interesting. And then obviously because of the narrative that they were painting about me, it was, I almost felt like I was going through like an identity, like crisis in a sense. Because, you know, when you start going through personal development and undoing all these beliefs about yourself,

you're actually kind of learning who you actually are underneath all the, like veils of everyone else's opinions and thoughts and stories and beliefs, right? So it's like I was learning who I was while the world through watching me on television was was telling me who I was. And so, you know, when I'm getting DMs or comments and I'm like, no, you don't, that's not the truth. You know, that's not who I am. Like, oh, my gosh.

And these people are just attacking you. And you're like, but if they knew the real me, you know, they're just, they see a character online and I'm like oh my god you know maybe that's why I was never a big reality TV person to begin with um I just said yes to an opportunity but I never really like I don't even think I've watched an entire season of any reality TV show ever you know besides my line now but you know it's just it's wild how it really like although yeah I do all this mindset and personal development self-love work like how one comment can just spiral you into a deep dark hole and and you're like, oh my God, the world hates me.

Yeah. That's hard, though, Kelly, because you're sitting there in 2020. Like you said, 16 to 18 months after you were done filming, this show comes out, right? You've already, there's already like multiple versions of Kelly that have evolved since then because of all the work that you're doing. So to go back and watch it is mortifying enough, right? Because I always believe, though, if we're not embarrassed or a little bit queasy by the version of us a year ago, we're not growing, right? I can look back at some of the first videos I've ever did on social media or even the first shows that I recorded for my podcast. I'm like, ew.

Like, who is that guy? I don't like him. I don't like him. It's not who I am. You know, but when you're going through that, like, describe to the audience that feeling because a lot of people do feel judge on a smaller level, right? How did you cope with that? Because, again, you're looking at, the world is looking at and judging a woman who was that in 20, 2018, it is now 2020, right? Well, now 2023, but then 2020, it's not even the same version of

you. So how did you work through that? And how did you make sense and find the way to love yourself? Because that's a lot of heat. Yeah, it is. I mean, honestly, it was ongoing. I mean, I was still experiencing the effects of it up until this year. I mean, it really was. Like, there were times, like, I can recognize, like, there were certain times maybe I was. was posting something online that not to say it was inauthentic. I mean, I made it mine. I customized it to make it mine. But maybe it was an Instagram reel or a post that was inspired by something else that I was watching. And but the, and a lot of people do this and they can and they're in their authenticity and they're in their truth about it. However, I believe

the way that I was doing it was because I was getting influenced by, oh, that person got a lot. of engagement on that post. I should do something like it. And of course, yeah, it would get a lot of engagement, of course, because it was like a trending thing or whatever. And I'm like, okay, but it felt, you know, weird to me in a sense, although it like boosted my ego, but it fed my ego for a minute. And then I'm like, okay, now what? You know? That's the thing. I think we've all done something like that similarly. Like when we start our personal brands on social media, I can remember acting in certain ways and in speech patterns that can be me, but not necessarily be what I put out there to the public. And I did it. And I didn't like it. And I, and you know, it wasn't that I was

being, you know, disingenuous because anybody who, who has known me forever and you can even ask, you know, Kiarra, like, I'm very authentic. What you see is what you get. But we're just trying to figure this thing out, man. And I mean, I've caught heat on in your comment section. I'm like these like I'm not even respond this is clearly about like this is just somebody trolling her and you know but like how how was I mean because you're a normal person right and people forget that right and then the mental health aspect of being out there for everybody to see and then your DMs be open for business how how did that I mean truly how did that impact you early on because I would imagine that once that show went live, your social media is all your accounts.

Oh, they did. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, I had a. It's like overnight stardom, right? It's like. Yeah.

I mean, if I could do it again, I would have hired people to help with social media as well as like having like a public like an actual PR publicist. I had brand managers that I was working with. But. And they were fine. But having an actual like. publicists to be like, do this, don't do this. Hey, you know what?

They created this narrative. Let's work with that narrative and like blow you up even more. Like you take that narrative and make it your own and claim it. And, you know, but while also helping people to understand the real you and like, you know what I mean? So I just wish that I had, you know, had the financial support to be able to do something like that. I mean, I didn't. I mean, yes, we got paid for the show, but like I was in debt and I was struggling paycheck to paycheck at the time when the show aired. I'm like, I don't have extra money to just throw out a PR agent and like hire this whole team of people to like help me out with this stuff.

So yeah, it affected me significantly in a lot of ways. But, you know, I actually, because I was working, I was working full time. And I wound up resigning from the company. that I was working with a year after the show aired because I was so burnt out. And again, I was not in a good space financially to leave at the time. And granted all the brand deals that were coming through, great, paid off my debt. I was like, great, we're debt free, finally. But it still wasn't enough.

Anyways, I had two panic attack, panic, anxiety attacks, whatever you want to call on. I had never experienced it before. I just knew that that's what it had to be. Valentine's weekend of 2021. So a full year after the show aired, literally through the day that the show aired, the first episodes I experienced. I woke up at like 6 a.m. Saturday and Sunday, Valentine weekend.

And I was like heart racing. I was like, what is happening? Couldn't like calm my thoughts. And it was really frightening for me. And I took a whole week off of work. And I told my parents, I was like, I mean, my parents kept saying, why don't you like, let go of like your business stuff for a while like let go of the coaching stuff and just like you know if a brand if like an influencer thing comes in then take it but like just focus on your

nine to five right now the thing that is giving you the consistent income although it's pennies it is paying your bills you know and I was like I can't I literally cannot go somewhere for 40 hours straight a week right now like I have been doing it plus everything else for the last year I just had these like panic attacks nervous breakdowns I don't know what they were I was like I can't. And I went back to work for like a week and a half, I think. And I was like, can't do it. And I immediately just signed off. And my parents, because I spent a week with them. And I was like, I'm going to do what I feel like is in my best interest. Not what you feel is in my best interest. So I quit my job and I didn't work for two weeks. Like I didn't do coaching. I didn't

do influencer stuff. I literally like, and I was barely on my Instagram. Like I would go on and maybe check a few things and then get off. And I just like watch TV. go for walks, sit in nature. It was, and I cried a lot because I just held all these emotions in because I was constantly busy from when that show aired. And I just never had time to really like sit with myself. So I cried for like two weeks straight. Yeah.

No, still like, thank you for sharing that because I want the audience to really dive into that, right? You're talking about this whole evolution of this panic attack or anxiety attack, right? And, you know, for those of you listen, and, you know, while she was trying to deal with things, she was still holding a lot of things in, right? You're holding a lot of things in, like you just said, you're going to your, to your, you know, nine to five job. You're building your brand on the side. You're taking influencer deals. Like, listen, all of us that don't have that type of, I guess, attention on us because we weren't on a reality TV show.

A lot of sometimes, like, I feel like my life is a freaking retent reality TV show. But like, we still don't have time to breathe and move on from from certain events in our lives. So I really love what you did there because, and if the audience, I didn't really catch it, you know, you went against the grain. You said pretty much your parents, I love you, but you really don't know what I need right now. And I'm burnt out over everything. So I'm taking two weeks. I'm going to cry. I'm going to walk.

I'm going to be in nature. How important was that decision? the inflection point in your growth right there to to honor kelly and just yeah oh yeah yeah how uncomfortable was it it wasn't it was uncomfortable but i also was like i don't care like i don't care like i'm totally just surrendering like god'll show me the way kind of thing like i i don't know what's next i don't even want to like promote my brand right now like i didn't i didn't know what was next and it was interesting um Yeah, that was February or the beginning of March, I guess, when I had left the job.

You know, we get our like tax return. All this money that I thought that I was going to have to owe the IRS didn't have to owe. And I was like, there you are, God. There you are. Hey, buddy. You just save me a little bit longer. Yeah, exactly.

Thank you so much, big guy. Yeah. So it was really interesting. And granted, you know, I don't necessarily, like, I mean, even. today I was like, I do enjoy the job that I'm doing right now. But like, I always, you know, like there's something about the surrender and like letting go and just like being like stepping fully into the unknown. And today I was driving around and I was like, you know, I wonder what would happen if I just was like, I'm just kind of done again. Like I'm just done. Like, because, you know,

they always say too, it's like, okay, we'll let go of things not serving you to create space for new things to come in. Right. So I'm like, okay, well, if something in, my life is not totally serving me. And again, I was just having a moment. I was fine. But I'm like, okay, well, what if I just quit my job? Not what I'm going to. I really do like it.

Anyone listening, if you work with me, I really do like my job. I'm not quitting. It was just like a moment. She's not quitting. She's not quitting. She's not quitting. It was the thought that came in. But I was like, it was more of like, I don't know even why the thought came in,

but I was just thinking to myself. I'm like, okay, if that, you know, if I was able to do that then and let go, Like we, we just don't practice that enough. And really, we don't have enough trust that something is going to come in. And then we just fear. And then everything is fear-based. And then you're attracting that. Man, that's impactful.

Because, like, when you're talking about that, I'm, like, going through a lot of different things. I've gone through my whole 2023, right? Like, again, this show's great. You know, my brand is growing. Everything's going fantastic. You know, but at times I get into the scarcity mentality. I'm like, this isn't enough. Like, I'm behind, right?

And then I start playing that comparison syndrome, all the things that I tell my athletes, my clients not to do. But the reality is, is we're all human beings. I'm not telling them these things because I'm better than them or because I'm on the top of the mountain, right? I'm telling these things I struggle with them. And I know these landmines that I want them to step on, right? But the reality is, man, like, I can't think of more.

I mean, like, I can't think of any time in the whole 2023 where I didn't have those thoughts. I didn't I mean like I'm I thought to myself well how much further would my brand be if I just went and got about 500,000 dollars to a million dollars you know went out and got an angel investor built my brand walked away from my W2 job would I be more happy would I be living my purpose every day and the reality was is absolutely I would right but then there's another layer to it right three children a wife that's going wait a second you know your brain. brands growing, let's park this, do your job too. But then when the person like us, right, you're in this, there's times where you feel like, I don't know about you, but I feel like I'm just trapped in doing something I just don't want to do. Like I, you know, like I want to be out there in doing what I feel my purpose is. And I think that the most important and one of the most impactful things that you said is just trusting and letting go. Right. Like I've got to let go. You have to let go. The audience has to let go of all the expectation and just pray and just understand and give God the space and time to work. Exactly. Yeah. Because if we're constantly not doing that, not to say it's not, you know, prayers aren't working. Manifestations aren't working. It's just we just have so much fear. And the more that we, it's funny because like I have conversations, you know, my mom sometimes. And I'll be like,

mom you just have to like let go I am I have I'm like well if you did then you wouldn't be having this conversation with Mary like you got to trust and like you have so much faith in you know there's so many people out there that you know they're devout religious creatures and very much Christians and they're like oh yeah yeah but then they're like so lackminded and so fear based and I'm like if you have that much trust in God you will trust that he will provide like let go and let God do his work yeah you know and it's hard too like I can empathize with it right because there's a lot of times where I just feel I have to force force force force and those are the moments where my energy level goes down I don't want to do an interview and interviewing

is my most favorite thing to do like right now I'm playing this is fun this is like this is my energy, right? And also, when I force things and hold on to them really, really tight, I start to spiral, right? My mental health gets worse. And I'm one of those individuals that has to be extremely physically active in order to be really chemically balanced. I'm just, that's just who I am and it is what it is. However, when I get super overwhelmed, the first thing to go and suffer is the gym. The second thing is my nutrition. And I'll be sitting there at night.

I'm just slamming chocolate. I'm like, you're going to hate yourself in the morning, dude. You know? So like when you're going through these things and as you're picking up on what I'm saying, what would be some of the tips that you could give these individuals that are struggling getting up out of bed and moving their body and kind of giving back to themselves? I think the biggest thing is really, recognizing what your why is.

That has been mine. And like, because if you don't, if you don't feel like you have a purpose for doing something, then it doesn't give you that much motivation and ambition to do it, right? I recognized this year, even, that I was not, like, I was starting to get, like, very, like, seeking external validation, acceptance, love, all of that. And then I looked at, I kind of, like, did an audit. And I'm like, oh, well, Kelly, you haven't really been working out. You haven't been, like, you used to go on walks every single day and you have not been doing that at all.

You haven't even really been moving your body that much. You know, nutrition was like, okay, but I just, I'm something that was all off. So you just have to get really clear with your boundaries and know that, again, I'm, I'm a workaholic too. Like I said, I mean, I do a lot of things, but it is checking in with yourself in the morning, in the morning, in the middle of the day in the afternoon and the evening and giving yourself that like hey you know what like the work is going to be there tomorrow still like it's okay you are more important than your job you're more important than your husband or your wife like you you're significant of your children even like i'm going to say it you are your biggest priority and if you are not because everyone everyone

has a big problem with that and they're like that's so selfish to think about yourself and not tune into your, you're not not tuning into your family. You are, but if you're not, if you're not helping yourself, how are you going to help and serve your family? Like, you're not going to be able to show up as your best self if you're completely on empty. Yeah. I mean, I, I'm popular opinion. I agree with you 100%. I'm sorry. Like, I, I mean, I think there's a negative connotation to the word selfish. Selfish doesn't, isn't necessarily supposed to mean like you're a piece of crap, right? You don't care about people. Being selfish and take care of you first and foremost, especially as me as a husband and a father,

they're not getting the best version of me the last two months because I'm not pouring into myself physically anymore. Right. I'm overwhelmed. And like, dude, this is what I love about my show. I am 100% honest with my guests, with my audience. Like, I am just overwhelmed right now. It's like, you know, I feel like I'm in that spaceship or all the stars. like Star Wars, all the stars are coming out of me. And I just can't, I, you know, I just, like,

literally, I just feel like I can't do much else, right? And there has to be that reset. But for me, like, pouring into Sean is going to make me better for my children and for my wife. So those people out there that want to sacrifice or be that martyr for their significant other of your children, like, you're hurting them. Like, you are not helping them. You are hurting them because you are showing them that they do not need to value themselves first. Exactly. And what do we tell our children? Know your worth.

You see all over social media. Know your worth, girl. Hey, bro, know what you're worth. Well, if you're not pouring into yourself and you're not acknowledging it, how the hell are you going to know what you're worth is? Yep, exactly. You know, like, it's just, I don't know. Tangent.

But it's funny because you said something else about, you know, the motivation. You know, it's funny because like mindset and mental performance is something that I'm all about, obviously. And everybody talks about you need to feel motivated to do something. I don't think that's true, right? I don't think in order for people to do something and move, right? So let's the new year. They want to be fit. Let's talk about that.

That's the biggest one out there is the new year. Now they're motivated to move, right? So they get there and it just sucks. They don't like it. They quit. What people fail to realize is that motivation is the thing that comes after you've already started. Yeah, absolutely. You have to create that momentum.

You have to create that motivation. I'm not motivated to wake up tomorrow and go back in the gym. Actually, I'm dreading it. But I know I have to because I'm well enough to me now, right? I told you before we record, I've been battling COVID for a week. But I'm going to get up and I'm going to go, even if it's just going to the gym and walking on the treadmill. for 40 minutes. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I don't want to, but that move right there and then maybe followed up with a good post workout meal and then another good meal and another meal

and you stack up those Ws. That's where the motivation comes. What are your thoughts? Yeah, I agree with you on that. I definitely agree with you. I mean, I think your motivation comes from creating the discipline. You know, something else I was going to say, you know, so many people or they either say they can't work out in the morning or, you know, they can't get up, you know. And I'm like, I mean, 10 years ago, yes, I started working out in the morning. And I even taught spin classes at 545 in the morning. And now, like, yeah, I'm a morning person. I like the morning time to do my workouts because I know if I schedule a workout in the evening,

hey, what did I tell you when I got on here? I'm tired. I don't want to go to the gym. I did to go to the gym in the evenings for a long time, but I'm like, I'm tired. And I feel like when I move my body in the morning, that immediately, like, I'm going to eat something healthy after moving my body. Like, I'm not going to eat a French toast or a donut. I mean, unless I, like, forgot to eat and I'm running around or something, you know, but it's still, like, I want, I am more disciplined and motivated to continue my health journey when I start out with a healthy. practice. And it may not be, maybe it's not moving your body in the morning or going to the

gym or whatever. Maybe it is just meditating and just being with yourself. But as long as you are pouring into yourself first thing in the morning, I think it does really set the tone for the rest of the day. Granted, you're going to get sidetracked. Something could, you know, come up and, you know, totally throw you off off things. But yeah, I think, yeah, I do agree with you in the sense of like the motivation comes from actually creating the discipline to make things happen. I myself, I don't, I will not go to the gym at night either. I mean, there's too many people there. There's too many people.

And I'm exhausted. I want to hang out my family at night. You know what I mean? So it's like if I don't do it in the morning, I ain't going. You know, because if I go during the day, that means I'm not working. Right. And so that's, you know, we're an outside sales. I mean, there could be a little bit of that.

Yeah. But, but, but, but, but, I mean, I mean, it's got to be few and far between, right? You create those moments to where you can break away at lunchtime, which wouldn't be a bad practice, you know, to do a lunchtime workout wherever you're at, throw your scrubs back on and go out there in the field. That's fine, like whatever works. But, you know, I just think it's super important for us to understand that. And again, this is something that, you know, I wanted to bring up. People are going to social media too often to, how can I put this?

they're going to social media to make up how they feel about themselves. They're waiting for one of these big influencers to tell them that if they don't do X, Y, and Z, that they aren't, you know, they're not crap. Like, I think we've gotten out of hand here, right? I think we've really lost touch. I mean, there's entrepreneurs out there saying, if you don't have six-pack abs, I'm going to fire you. Like, it's almost disgusting. So, you know, it's really hard.

And I know you deal with this when you're working with your clients because you get someone that's brand new to this space, right? They want to get better, but they see everything that goes on on like Facebook or Instagram, telling them what time they should wake up. Right. Like if you don't wake up at 2.45, you don't want it bad enough. Right. Right. No. So how do you instruct your clients? How do you mentor your clients that are having a hard time, you know, adjusting to what's real and then what's on Instagram? Good question. I tell them to stop consuming stuff on Instagram.

I'm like, hey, if you put away your phone for like 24 hours, I bet your whole like nervous system will like be more grounded. Like you will actually feel better if you take a detox because you are consuming all this information. That is your subconscious is picking up. 95% of us is running on autopilot from our subconscious mind. So we are consuming unconsciously all this information that is actually. actually creating all these insecurities and fears and limiting beliefs too and these stories about ourselves that we're not worth it or we're doing something wrong or we should be doing this

or we're supposed to be doing this or we whatever and it's like you know if we could just take a break I think that is so healthy for our mental health um but in that regard too it's just helping them to identify hey you know what a lot of people aren't really showing every like you're not seeing their life on social media. They are posting the highlight reels. And yeah, you are going to get those ones that are vulnerable and they'll be crying on their Instagram like myself. I do that.

We're showing things that are against the trends, you know? For one, I don't do this all the time, but I will go on there and I point out that I have wrinkles in my forehead. Every girl in America doesn't have wrinkles in her forehead anymore. We're like, you were 40. You were supposed to have wrinkles in your forehead, ladies. Sorry. But you're supposed to have wrinkles.

It's okay. It's a natural part of life. We're okay. And there's just so many, you know, which is fine. If you do Botox and all the things, do it. But I want people to remember what real is. Yeah, I know. Absolutely.

It's so funny. You're talking about wrinkles. And yeah, I've got wrinkles. You know, I'm 45. I think I'm 45. I might be 46. I don't know. I forget how old I am.

That's pretty sad, isn't it? I'm 45, dude. I think I'm 45. So it's funny because my son, he's 10, and I'll sit down on the couch. And I wear a hat a lot, right? And, you know, he comes up over me and goes, oh, my God, dad, you're balding. I'm like, whatever, man, whatever. Because I don't think I am.

That Joker took a picture of the top of my head. It took my phone. I'm like, oh, boy, I'm getting old, man. This is like real. This is real. I want to back up to something because I thought it was powerful. We've talked about limiting beliefs a little bit. It's come up like some words.

But like, where did your limit? What is your limiting belief and where did it come from and maybe from who? A lot came from my childhood. I mean, most of it. So between the ages of like zero and seven, zero and eight, that's when our subconscious is wide open because we haven't formed our conscious mind yet. So a lot of things,

that's when they say children soak up things like a spouse. It is literally like that because they have no other choice and we don't have the reasoning mind yet. So we're picking up on stories. We're seeing things on television out in the public. What our parents are telling us, how we're watching our parents interact with each other. Like, what does love mean between your parents? Your parents are arguing all the time. But then they stay together for 30 years.

It's like, oh, love must mean arguing. Love must mean this. And then you're like attracting very similar behaviors as well. I read this book. It's called Getting the Relationship You Want. It's a therapy book. But they teach about the Imago therapy, and it is basically helping you to identify with your partner, like feeling more safe and heard and seen with your partner. But basically what the book was saying is that we have like a blueprint in this energetically and in our subconscious because of, again,

everything that we saw and whatnot and consumed, we basically have this like blueprint that we attract, we attract our parents oftentimes, nine out of ten, nine times out of ten, we are attracting that. And let's say you're like, I hope I'm never, I'm, I hope to God, I'm not like my dad. I hope to God I'm never like my mom. You're probably going to attract a partner who's just like your mom or just like your dad because you haven't done the reprogramming and affirmation, whatever it is, like you actually haven't rewired that energetic component in you to attract different. So, and a lot of that goes to actually reparenting yourself and doing a lot of inner child work. And then you can start.

The inner child work is, that's interesting because like I can sit here and I can tell you the thoughts or what I heard from, you know, five to eight. What are some of the things that you heard, you know, in your own mind from five to eight that made up those limiting beliefs? Yeah. I think a lot of it was probably more so like, I mean, what stands out. And maybe it's just because I brought more awareness of this, but like money mindset stuff, you know, like money doesn't grow up on trees. Like or, you know, when you're watching a show and where you see someone in public, that's like really, really wealthy. like very wealthy and maybe a parent said something about it like oh they're just showing off you know

they just say something very critical or judgmental and then so your subconscious mind as a five-year-old takes that oh rich people are flaunting their stuff like oh they're just showing off their money or what you know and it's like that's not true there's a lot of very wealthy people that look like they just rolled out of bed and but you would and you would never know they had a lot of money you would never know. You would literally never know. It's so funny because, you know, like, for me, for me, it was not good enough. Right. Right. It was the, you know, if you don't. Yeah. I mean, that was just rang constantly, right? And I still hear that. When it comes time to perform, I have to put myself in a completely different space. Right. Even when I started this show,

it's like, who are you? Yeah. Like, who are you, right? Who are you to do this? And there's there was a lot of, you know, people that I asked to be on my show, bigger influencers that that came at me for that, right? And they said they would eat me alive on my show and that I wasn't, I wasn't anything. And here we are, you know, a couple years later. And no marketing, no strategy, but top two and a half percent. That's amazing. You know, it's, it's, it's tenacity, right?

It's the grind. It's the work. It's the amazing guests like yourself and the, the open. in free conversations is what makes this show. So I always have to dive into when I'm feeling poor like that or feeling in that broke, broke mindset of I'm not good enough. I'll go back and listen to my shows.

And close my eyes, lay down and put myself in a place where I don't know who I am. I don't know where I'm at. And there have been multiple times where I've got done with one of my shows. I'm like, wow, that dude was smart. And it was me. I completely detached myself from the interview, right?

So, you know, for the, for how do you work people through those limiting beliefs, especially the inner child? I mean, that, that is tough. It is tough. Yeah, before I answer that, I will say, so I want to say that that's more of like, almost like this like secret limit, the sneaky limiting belief, the I am not enough, right? Yeah. Yeah.

And I want to say that it is, again, nine times out of 10, that. is the limiting belief that everybody has about them. And that's why it is showing, oh, all right, you know, I'm falling off the wagon with my health. I'm, you know, I can't seem to like have a relationship, like, whatever the case may be. And it's like when we get down and we like, you know, just unwind and like peel back the layers, it always comes to, well, I didn't feel enough, you know, or I was all, you know, I was always competing for something, you know, competing for my parents' approval growing

up or, you know, whether it was that they were the single child and so they were like singled out and their parents, you know, laid into them. Like, you need to make a, you know, straight A's and blah, blah, blah. And it's like they were always trying to prove themselves because they, otherwise they felt not enough. Or on the flip side, maybe they were competing for sibling, like sibling rivalry, that kind of thing as well. There's a lot of that, you know, for me, something that was discovered a year ago working with a coach, we kind of started peeling back my onion layers and I do have a sister and so the coach was asking me she was like were you competing for your sister's attention you know with your sister for attention from your parents

and I was like no I don't ever feel I never felt that way at all but what came down to it I was like you know I was I did sports I was on the cheerleading team I did homecoming I was prom queen like I was in acting like I did things and um and she was like okay let's lean into that more she was like what happened you know when you and I said well I was seeing I was 18. People knew who I was because I was this, this, and this. And so like I said, these last few years since the show, I felt just as of recently probably more, more like myself. Whereas the last three years, I have felt so just wishy-washy and all over the place. And I want to say that it's because I, that storyline of I'm not enough kept popping up. Like, you know, you have the world like hating on you and you're like, but you don't even know the real me. Like I'm like, I need to be seen.

Oh, well, maybe if I do this, then they'll see me. Maybe if I say this, then they'll know who I am. And so it was very like everything that I was doing was running on conditions versus you're born worthy and you are enough because you're enough. Not you have to do something to be enough or you have to be seen to be enough and be more valued in people's eyes. So I feel like just having that, my own testimony of that, I can really speak to and help other people identify what they're not enough missed. Like what story came from that. Yeah, I get that because I can seek outside approval, right? It's about being seen.

But for me, it's men because I felt like it's my biological father left when I was two, right? Then my mom remarried and it lasted for like a hot minute. And then she remarried again to, you know, my stepdad, who was a part of my life from the time I was eight, seven and a half, eight all the way through. We don't speak now. That's by choice, you know, but I always felt like I wasn't enough because I was always disappointing men. So when men challenge me, I just, it's really strange, right? Because, I mean, I'm pretty confident. But at the same time, like, disappointing a male figure.

year terrifies me. It's so strange, you know, and that's my opportunity for growth. And I'm starting to, the last year or two, I've really started to dive into it, really hardcore, getting to the bottom of it and try not to give a shit, to be quite honest. Like, because I'm going to disappoint people. I mean, it is what it is. I'm not perfect. And I think that for me, not feeling enough and feeling like I had to chase that perfection

was just an opening loop that would keep playing and just disappointment and disappointment and disappointment to a point where like if I'm even in that mindset, how can I ever be proud of myself? Yeah. You know what now go back to so you're talking about like the whole world hating on you. What's the worst thing that you saw? Like what is the worst thing that anybody ever said to you that just that just broke you? I think it wasn't necessarily that what, well, I mean, yes, it was bad what they were saying,

but I think it was just the quantity, the volume of receiving. Like, if it was just one message, it wouldn't have been a big deal. But, like, because I'm like, I don't know those people. They don't know me. But it was like, it hit my, you're not enough button. Let's put it that way because they would say things. You know, I mean, I did get like some people like, you know, you're gonna

like you should die bitch you're gonna die like you're gonna die alone like he's so much better off without you like you know you played him and then blah blah like you just played him you just wanted to get cloud for TV blah blah blah

but I think it was you know more of the like he's better off without you and I'm like F you don't even know me and And, you know, we weren't meant to be. That's the bottom line. You know, like, we actually did have a relationship.

And it was cut short. And not by TV and production, by human choices. And, you know, so that, I think, was the biggest thing, just receiving those. And I still get it. Like, every time a new season comes out, I'll get, like, one message because people go back and watch the show. Or it's new people watching the show and they'll start from season one. and I'll get those random messages and they're like, oh, he's better up.

Girl, he's already moved on with his life. Like, you should too and blah. Like, all right, guys, I have. They're like, dude, that was like five years ago. I have and I'm happy for him and I love her to death. Like, she's like the sweetest. His wife is so nice. You know, I'm just like, but yeah, I think just receiving so many messages like he's better off without you.

Like, oh, oh, like he dodged a bullet with you. And I'm like, oh. Oh. Ouch. No, I don't think so. You know, here's my, here's another question. Like, I'm like listening to this. Like, it's one thing to get these messages, right?

But did it impact the way you operated in public? Yeah. Because you don't know if people recognize you. Yeah. I still, not as much, but I do. I mean, yeah, I mean, granted, COVID happened when our show aired. So we weren't out in public too much for that first year. But, or for that first six months, let's put it that way.

After that, yeah, like, I mean, and even still to this day, like, I, it did create social anxiety for me. Because, yeah, I'm like, people are looking at me and or, and this sounds egotistical, but I'm like, are people looking at me? Like, do, like, do they know me? Like, are there people that recognize me? And when I would catch someone looking at me, I'm like, okay, are they looking at me? they just saw me on TV, or are they looking at me because they think I'm cute? Or they looking at me because I'm wearing something weird? Like, so it was a, it was actually a lot of social anxiety.

And again, too, now, like, when I go places, I'm kind of scanning the room. Like, and it's, it feels almost anxiety, but also ego like, oh, who recognizes me? Yeah. But I mean, like, I love being recognized. I'm like, give me attention. No, of course. I mean, like, when I go out in public and, you know, I'm not, I've never been on a. you know, reality TV show.

But I mean, I've interviewed a lot of people and I am out there on the internet. And, you know, people, people do come up to me and they go, hey, you're the, you're the guy. You're the guy. I'm like, I'm not. Huh? Like, love your content. I'm like, thanks. I appreciate that.

But I mean, in your case, I can, I can absolutely see going into a public place, especially like at a nightclub or something. My daughter's waiting at me. Hi, baby. Good to see you. Good to see you. She's got face paint. Like she's Rudolph right now. Oh, that's cute. She's talking now.

Do you want to come say hi? Okay, come on. My little one's going to make a podcast appellant. Okay, you got to say hi. Say hi to Kelly. Hi. You look so cute. Say thank you. All right, go with mom. Okay. Give me a kiss. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So, but no, because looking around like when you're going into public, right, it's like, and the way people came at you,

like to me, like it would be terrifying. I can completely understand how you would get social anxiety. Yeah, yeah. I didn't think my life was in danger or anything like that. I just, you know, so I never had the social anxiety like I thought my life was threatened.

It was just like weird because I'm like people do recognize me. And, you know, it's funny. Like even in my career now, I'm out meeting people. And I've had multiple people. And even in the last week, They're like, you look really familiar.

And I had to say it yesterday. I was like, did you watch a show called Lova's Blind? They're like, yeah. And I'm like, I'm D. Kelly. And they're like, oh, my God. They're like, that's exactly how I know you. Goodness gracious. Yeah, I'm that girl.

That's me. That's me. I'm like, I remember faces so well. So I'm like, I know I've never met these people. I know that that's where it's from. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

No, I'm a pretty good. face person too. You know, I can, my facial recognition, I'm like, I know who that person is. If I see somebody once, I'll remember that face, right? Like, it never goes away. I might forget a name or two, but I'll never forget a face. But look, we're winding down. I need to land a plane here. I just want to thank you so much for coming onto the show. And I think that, well, I know what my listeners got is, you know, peek behind the curtain to Kelly Chase and the things that you dealt with, you know, before the show and then even after Love is Blind aired. But what would you say to somebody right now that is going through just to land the plane here?

What's the one piece of advice you would give somebody that is going through something similar that just feels that no matter where they turn, doors are being shut in their face and that I'm not good enough or you can't do it. Program keeps popping up on their feet. Yeah. Tune into yourself as much as you. you can create that you know even if it's moving your body for three minutes just do really like self-care like even write out so that you have radical awareness of this like what did you like to do when you were a child did you like to draw did you like to paint play hopscotch whatever it is go to target get some chalk and go play hopscotch like literally go do the things that you did when you were

you are dancing your living room make a fort with your pillow and your couch like go do the things that you did when you were a child because when you were a child you didn't have too much going on. Like, you know, yeah, you're consuming a lot of the stuff, and that's where all the stories are coming from. But if you can get, like, connect back to your childlike self and your playfulness and really start to just take care of yourself, go get a massage, like go sit in nature, go for a walk in nature,

really disconnect from your phone as much as possible. And really create like a little self-care routine for yourself. And it could be 10 minutes. It doesn't have to be like three hours. But, you know, the longer of that, the more that you are with yourself, the less you will consume and be feeling inferior or like an imposter or just have any fears altogether. And that anxiety really is going to decrease once you start tuning to yourself. Because you're really like when you're doing so much for you,

you're really crowding out the things that just don't matter. Dude, I love it. I can just see building forts. Yeah. Like this is that. Like God, I got to build a fort, man. I got to build a fort. But listen.

Thank you so much, Kelly. I'm really jacked up to have this connection with you in this conversation. Just thank you for taking time out of your night and pouring into my audience. We appreciate you. Thank you so much. I appreciate you guys. All right, guys. Until next time, stay determined and go chase your dreams, y'all.

Peace out. Southwest Florida is one of the most beautiful places on the planet to live. For those of you that are thinking of moving from other states to come to Florida, or even just moving to a different part of the state, I want you to think of a big, beautiful, luxury home. Contact legacy luxury builders. They are a family-owned and operated luxury residential construction company. As a family-owned business,

they believe in the power of building not just homes, but legacies. Contact legacy luxury builders. The nightmare feeling like you'll never measure up of constant second-guessing and self-doubt. It eats away at you and destroys your confidence. I've been there too. Feeling like I didn't belong on the field with my teammates, but it doesn't have to stay that way. I used to compare myself to everyone around me.

I thought that no matter how hard I worked, I'd never be as good as the other guys. It killed myself fully. I now help athletes develop an elite mindset, so comparison no longer controls them. We teach techniques to cut out the negative self-talk and unlock the full potential. Imagine stepping into the box when it counts the most

and feeling totally confident in your ability. Feeling invincible instead of insecure, ready to seize the opportunity instead of shrinking from it. That's the mindset I help athletes develop. Don't waste another minute on comparison and self-doubt. Take control of your mindset and become the confident, unstoppable competitor you were meant to be. The end more comment below to get started with Edge

and transform your mental game.