Determined Society with Shawn French | Adversity & Mindset - Parenting Challenges: Balancing Providing and Setting Boundaries with Steve Wiltz

Episode Date: May 27, 2024

In this conversation, Shawn French and Steve Wiltz discuss the challenges of parenting, the importance of vulnerability and self-expression, and the impact of their content on others. They share their experiences as fathers and husbands, navigating the pressures and expectations of family life. They also touch on the need for external validation and the fulfillment they find in making others laugh and feel understood. The conversation highlights the importance of communication and understanding within relationships, as well as the constant learning and growth that comes with being a parent. The conversation covers various topics including selflessness, humor, insecurities, appreciation, and parenting. Shawn and Steve discuss the concept of selflessness and how it is often driven by personal satisfaction. They share their favorite jokes and the importance of humor in their lives. They also talk about their insecurities and the challenges of being fathers. The conversation highlights the need for appreciation and understanding in relationships. Overall, the conversation is a candid exploration of personal experiences and perspectives. Key Conversation Points Parenting is hard and comes with its own set of challenges, but it is also rewarding and fulfilling. Men often struggle with expressing their emotions and seeking support, but it is important to prioritize mental health and open up about struggles. External validation is a natural human need, and it is okay to seek approval and recognition for our efforts. Communication and understanding within relationships, especially between spouses, are crucial for navigating the pressures of parenting and pursuing personal goals. Making others laugh and feel understood can have a profound impact on their lives, and it is a fulfilling endeavor. Constant learning and growth are necessary in both parenting and content creation, and it is important to adapt and evolve with changing circumstances and platforms. Selflessness is often driven by personal satisfaction and the desire to help others succeed. Humor plays an important role in coping with life's challenges and connecting with others. Everyone has insecurities, and it's important to acknowledge and manage them. Feeling appreciated is a significant aspect of relationships and can strengthen bonds. Parenting can be challenging, and it's important to find a balance between providing and setting boundaries. Sound Bites "You make me laugh today. I haven't laughed in weeks." "There are very few things that are actually selfless in this world." "I see you. I am proud of you." "Nothing is ever truly selfless, right? We're excited because we have value to give that makes us feel good." "We do things for other people because it makes us feel good and we want to help them and see them succeed, right?" "The real reason that women get yeast infections is so that they can understand what it's like to live with an irritating..." Connect with Steve All Links- https://beacons.ai/rippletime/ Connect with Shawn LinkMe- https://link.me/theshawnfrench   Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Sean French, what up? This one luck I let the pain inspire me. I'm from all and everything I'm doing. Up until it's done, I meet for the entirety. I'm putting overtime. I'll be working. Just know I'm a go for mine because I earned it. They watch and I know it's time.

I confirmed it. A whole society determined. What is up, everybody? Welcome back. I am your host, Sean French. And today I have with me a hilarious dude. Someone I have met on the internet and he is freaking hilarious. He's become a good friend.

And he provides a lot of comedy relief for a lot of parents, husbands, fathers, all that good stuff, man. So I have with me today a dad, a husband, a mortgage lender and all around funny son of a bitch. My boy, Steve Wilson, what's up, baby? How you doing, buddy? Oh, dude, I'm great, man. It's just great to see your face. Jason, we're finally having this conversation, which is long overdue and much needed. We've been trying to connect on this for quite some time.

Bro, I look back at my text. I think it dates all the way back to maybe November or December. I mean, it's like, how shitty can we be in reconnecting and getting something on the schedule? Maybe this kind of rolls into that whole we are a million different things and trying to prioritize and all that. It's not easy. No, it sure isn't, man. So, you know, I just, I'm excited to, to share you with the audience today because, you know, like I said, prior to recording, you, you are bringing some funny things to, to all platforms. And, but listen, man, before we get into all that, just for those who may not know who you are, why don't you give the audience a little bit of a synopsis of who you are, what you do and what you're bringing to the world.

Hey man I like you said I'm a dad I'm a husband been married to my beautiful bride for 16 years coming up on that

um got two little girls create content and I I'm a mortgage lender sharing all the time it's kind of the same thing

as creating a contact just always that mind just never stops right and neither do people who want loans or need questions to answer. Exactly, man. It's funny.

How did you come up with the idea of telling funny jokes and having your bride in the background? And what you told me yesterday was interesting. Like, she doesn't know what's coming, right? She doesn't know what is being said. So her reactions not only look genuine and hilarious and priceless all the same time, but now I know they're truly authentic. So walk me through that whole process and how do you decide?

I did to start bringing that to the platform. You know, I learned, I mean, I'm probably been doing this for, gosh, I don't know, three years, a little over three years maybe on social media in general. And it didn't start with, definitely didn't start with the jokes. My main thing when I started was mental health. I think I was doing some healing, going through some shit, and figuring out of that. I've always been pretty introspective and very self-aware and being able to try and I started sharing that, just being vulnerable.

And, you know, attracted the crowd and started, I saw the impact that I had there. So I was doing a lot of that, probably a good shit, man, I don't know, two years of that. And, I mean, they garnered a pretty good reach out of that. Doing the dad thing, we started these little smile cards with my daughters and started handing those out with just a message for people. And I still do that. just here and there not quite the same concentration, but that was a lesson and like everything you do creates a ripple, which is why my name on TikTok is ripple time.

I'm kind of slowly moving stuff in order to be more to move my name base, just because I think it's more than that one I know is also that that's just kind of the path that people take, and so much of it I think comes down to just observing what else works. right like what I think works on the platforms and that's where that whole idea came from we started doing you know a lot of that in the beginning was empathy and being highly empathetic and being like a dude and be able to share that and then doing my wife's funny reactions to songs or like tidbits of songs and she just laughed and I'm like okay well that's funny and then eventually

I don't know. I don't get a chance to consume as much content as I wanted to anymore. Seems like I get so much stuff sent to me than normally I just pick through my messages. That's a lot of the good videos anyway. But there's this Emily chick and she's the one who does is straight dead pain. And I'm always thought, I love making people laugh. And I'm pretty funny guy. I would agree.

Right. So, you know, that's just kind of my job. Deliver style too. And so when I started doing that, mixing in dad jokes, and now I do, you know, some of them are kind of raunchy, some of them are just tons, you know, it's all about just being flexible. And you can never, I just don't think you can always be the same, right? This world changes it so damn fast that you kind of have to keep up with it at the same time and find yourself and find your crowd.

And the people that you want to sit at your table with, you know, and it helps people. It gets them away from the daily life sucks. Yeah. Dude, I want to touch on something, man, because I think it's something that, you know, there's not a lot of men out there doing. And I think more are starting to. But you talked about how you were going through your own struggles, right? In your own growth, you know, talking about mental health and all that kind of stuff. Like, man, like as men, we don't really talk about shit like that, man. And it is hard. And there's times where I have just felt like on an island all by myself. And although I have an amazing wife and three beautiful, children, sometimes there's times where I go through things where I just feel like I'm the only one. When it comes to what your family eats and drinks, you know your choices matter. You're the expert because you know what fits your life. And getting it right starts with good information. That's why America's beverage companies are sharing more information about our ingredients at

good to know facts.org. No spin, no judgments, just the facts straight from the experts for more than 140 beverage ingredients. Visit good to know facts.org. Like there's a magnifying glass on my ass and I am the only one on this island and I'm struggling, dude, right? And it's gotten better. But I think it's, I think it's something that, you know, I really, I really find important. So, you know, how did you find the courage to do that? Because for the, for those of the people that are listening now that may be going through struggles. They, they sometimes feel like they can't talk about them because, you know, if they do, then they're exposed.

And if they're exposed, they're weak. And if they're weak, no one understands them and no one respects them. And it's actually the complete opposite, right? Yeah, I think so, too. Yeah. You can be vulnerable. I mean, we grew up the week, we don't work off the same age. grew up in that same generation where you just didn't talk about shit.

My dad was just a hardened criminal when I came to emotions, right? Yeah, I think, I don't know. I think when it comes down to being a man per se in today's society, you can be gentle, but you also have to be able to flip and be fierce. Yeah, yeah. And I don't know when my flip that switch. it really was per se. It seems like it was years ago because I've really been at that

like I'm going to get on stage in quite a while. It's quite a while. And I just get so tired of song or stuff being hidden. I'm like picking through stuff. And so I figured, you know what? Hey, I'm just out in it out there. They're putting it out there. Take you to leave it.

You really begin to understand or realize how little people actually really truly care when you understand that they can only see everything from their level of perspective. Yeah. So we never know what's going on with someone else, right? That's a great point.

And it's funny because you talk about our generation. You almost have to be a hardened criminal to, you know, if you talk about your feelings and your emotions, man, I remember being a kid in hearing like, boys don't cry. You know, you're a man. I'm like, I'm 12.

Like, I have some emotions here. I'm fixing a cry here. Like, I don't like what's going on. And I think what's important is, and to your point, you have to understand when to lead with sympathy and empathy and love and just straight up kindness, but also as a man, when to flip that damn switch. And it's funny because, like, I talk to a lot of fathers and a lot of entrepreneurs. And the ones that understand it the most, the specific dynamic. We're talking about gentle, kind, empathetic, sympathetic, loving, et cetera. And then flip are the dudes that have daughters.

And bro, you know that's a special fucking job, dude. Being a father of girls, I mean, I have my son. He's 10. And then I have a five and seven year old daughter. And there's times where I, dude, I fail miserably. For instance, this morning failed massively, right? I think I failed twice this morning. just to be up front.

So first time I go into my son's room and he's like literally got his, you know, he's got a little bunk bed. And he's got the little trundle thing underneath with all his clothes. And like this joker is ripping all of his clothes out of, I'm like, bro, what are you doing? He goes, I need my spirit shirt. I'm like, bro, it's Thursday. He's like, no, no, no.

And he's getting this look like he's about to cry. And he goes, I need my spirit. shirt because we earned field day. I'm like, bro, you're telling me now. Like, you're literally telling me now. We're walking out of the door in 25 minutes. You didn't think to tell me yesterday so I could email your teacher, get a shirt there, bring money in, yada, yada, yada, right? And so I can be strong with him. And it looks at me and he goes, well, I just found out yesterday. I'm like, so why are you telling me today? I say, here's a shirt right here. He goes, that's not the right one. I go, that's the one you're wearing. Like that is literally the one you're wearing, dude. Can't help you.

Don't bring me something that I can't fix. I apologize to him. I was like, hey, maybe I was a little bit hard on you, but you have to understand that you got to get better at communication, man. And that's something we're working on him with. So it wasn't just about that one specific incident. There's been multiple times. It's like homework. It's like everything like, oh yeah, by the way, I have this project I have to do. It's due tomorrow. Like, dog, it's. 8 p.m. on Sunday, you know, and then the other, the other one was, you'll appreciate this one. My daughter looks at me like she saw a ghost. And she goes, dad, this is my seven year old. Dad, mama took my hand sanitizer and the sanitizer that I have, I don't like how it smells.

I was like, don't. Like, I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this. I'm like, we're talking. I said, I felt like that, that old clip like playoffs. playoffs we talk about playoffs i was like hand sanitizer hand sanitizer we're talking about a scent of a hand sanitizer here and her face was just like and i'm like i apologize her i was like listen i was probably a little hard on you but really like understand alina that i can't fix that you you know and you're looking at me like one of our animals just died it's hand sanitizer but like i don't know i'm off on a tangent but like those are hard moments dude yeah i got two girls ma'am I think that

God is teaching me some some patience you know my God man one's 12 going on shit out of all 25 oh no my 5 year old is like almost 32 yeah yeah yeah I'm on then you're probably going up 25 also because she's got a little sister

same thing so yeah I feel you man and it's hard to to be that tough and consistent because that's where I am. I'm like, here, boom, this is what it is. There's no reason in, it's sitting on something that you can't fix, you can't change it.

So, like, let's move on, let's get it by now. Let's just go. Let's go, go. And then I said, wallowing it. And I'm just like, that's not how the shit works. Yeah. But to be able to back off me, like, okay, fine. So they're nine and 12.

Yeah, granted I got 30-something years, you know, on them. Some experience, you've got to remember that. So, yeah, the girl thinks it's definitely a whole different. Dude, and it's funny because like the whole message, you like I'm really, I'm hoping what the audience is getting out of this is being a parent is hard. It is hard. It is the most rewarding, I guess, title, job blessing I've ever had. But at times, you know, and I think this is something that men don't talk about enough. Women do.

Moms do. Moms are overwhelmed. They do a ton that nobody sees behind the scenes. a ton but dads have a different pressure too and i have a lot of effing pressure on me and it almost seems like those moments where i'm already feel like i'm in the pressure cooker now the fucking hand sanitizer is missing now the now the shirt isn't there and it's almost like you know it's an internal reaction i'm reacting based on what's going on in my mind and quite honestly it's not their fault you know and i and i fail in those situations and

And it's like you said, you know, you feel like God is, you know, teaching you patience. I feel like every time I miss out on that opportunity to show that next level of patience, he's going to hit me with something else really, really soon. And I better be ready and I better be ready to perform that patience. Like, do you ever feel that way, man? And then it's bigger. It's always like you start out of a little thing. And then all of a sudden it's something way worse.

Damn it. Yeah. Just right last time. Right. Like, sure. No, I fail all the time. And my daughter, my 12, real. Because I think you you're learning with your oldest and your youngest, your parent, more, right?

You've got to experience it. So I try to explain that to my oldest. It's like, we used to get it. And just all out, shabby match. Shally match is right. I do that to my nine-year-old, but that's a whole different reason because she's got a different attitude. Yeah. Yeah.

And then I would back off. Reflect on it. Kind of apologize. We're back to good. And she's like, you'd always do that. You know, in the moment or whatever, we see. start shouting and then you come and you apologize and said, well,

you don't apologize and I'm learning. So what are you learning? You think you're right. Well, family, you're not. So, yeah,

man, this, this parenting job is bullshit. They didn't, this bullshit. They didn't give us. They didn't tell us. I feel like kids need to come with an IFU like medical products do,

like instructions for use, right? And parenting. It's like, where is it, dude? Because, you know,

I, and this is something that I really admire my wife about for she early on right she would have those massive reactions now it takes her forever to have any type of outburst or for her to lose her shit for me it's still raw right and um and she says to me all the time she was maybe like how do you not see this like this is what happens like you have to have a longer fuse you have to have a bigger base level or or foundation of of patience and good energy so that way they they come to you and they're comfortable and i've been doing a better job of it but i but i always feel dude and this is something that

i know all parents can appreciate i always feel like man i really fuck that one up like i dig i'm not even close and and the only thing i can say is like he's still working on me man i know I'm cursing, but, you know, I still, you know, I'm not perfect. But, you know, I believe that, you know, God is really working on me and I, and I feel it in so many different aspects of different aspects of my life. But this parenting journey, man, it's hard, man. It is, I, I always feel like no matter what I do, they're looking at me, right? They're looking at my reactions.

They're looking at for leadership. And for the most part, I do a pretty damn good job. But man, there's just moments where I just feel like I just don't have this figured out. And I don't know if I'm ever going to. Yeah, I had a big, long conversation with a couple of buddies of mine. They're realtors we were talking about you brought up, you know, I swear I'm going to do that. I swear from my kids, that's no secret. They call me out nothing.

I said, you know what? If that's the worst thing I do, like, I'm going to do way worse shit. Like, you can find whatever you want to pick me in part with. I said, but they are, I guarantee you, my chances of going up having one an end of days is 90% greater than what I was. She were walking to the church tours all the time. Oh, 1,000%. So I had no problem with that.

And my wife and I disagree on that here or there, but it is, that's, you know, I also feel like when you talk about that pressure, I mean, that's something that we, I don't want to say we do it to our cell, but it's there. Man. Pressure for me even than making videos. Dude, I make a solid amount of money on this. Like, now they're gotten this. See?

Not to get where it is. I never even thought this was going to be something. And so when I'm like, all right, Chris, and we're making the video and she's sitting on the couch. She was like, here. Like, she's like, I look like, yeah. I'm like, you look great. Yeah, that's a great, babe.

Come on. Come on. What do you need to look good for? What the hell? You're in the corner of the couch. You already got your trophy husband. What are you worried about? What the hell?

I'm going to get the shirt, man. And so I'll get angry about it because I'm feeling that like, okay, I kind of keep this wrong. Like, it's always continuous. We're always doing something. But then I probably didn't ever share that with her like, okay, here's where we're out of everything. This is why I want to do what I want to do. I don't share the line up.

Yeah, I think there's a big thing, too, when it comes to, to the pressure. Like, you know, thinking, I want to go and do these different vacations and trips and all this stuff. I'm like, you get to, where's the money from? Right. Yeah. This is my clan, but I never shared my plan. So so much of stuff that I think we all go through, met and women alike is, is self-inflicted because we either don't communicate enough or we have an expectation. Yeah. Expectations. Yeah. I can't stand in expectations. We all have them and I still have them too, but you know, you get a lot less stressed out when you're, when you're not lower those.

We just don't even have. You just able to realize that works itself out. You know, it's funny because, you know, my wife and I, you know, she's involved in my business too and we're going through a lot of things behind the scenes right now and, you know, a rebranding, a relaunch, like a whole bunch of cool things that are just going to be amazing. And I think from the wife's standpoint, it's like, you're still just my husband. Yeah.

You know, you're still just her husband and the father of her children. So like there's times where they just want the sanctity of the family. They don't want a camera around. They don't want to talk about your video. They don't want to talk about what's new with, with a determined society brand. They don't really care, right? They care, but they don't.

All they want is the man that they married. And it just so happens that after they. married us, we found this talent that we had, this gift to where, sorry, this is just what it is. And, you know, I had a really interesting experience the other day. I went on a date night with my wife. We went to Cooper's Hawk Winery. It was great. We had a glass of wine and, you know, a nice meal. And we did not talk about our business once. That was really cool, man. And so, you know, I, I don't know. You just brought that up, but I just kind of feel like I feel that too, right? It's like, oh, you want to talk about this shit again? Or we're going to do this video again.

And I don't, I don't really include my wife in anything like video wise or anything like that. Early on, I had a bunch of like imposters like copying my account, right? Downloading my videos and my pictures of my children, my family, and making fake pages and going and trying to sell cryptocurrency. to people or Bitcoin or whatever the fuck, right? Widgets, I don't know. And, you know, once I got verified, that stopped, right? And, and, and so for me, I'm like, yeah, I'm never. I am not, I do not want to put my kids on my grid, you know, unless like my wife collaborates

with me on something like a gymnastics meet like last week, like, I'll do that, right? But, but dude, I just think that in this space for those creators that are, that are going to listen to this and there are listening right now is it's super important to be able to not just include your family but also understand where your spouse is coming from because that's because for you where the way you read is like you don't get me like you don't understand what I'm doing you want to go to Fiji next year how am I going to do that I'm not saying your wife wants to go to feed but I'm just saying like what wife doesn't want to go to Fungi Fiji let's just be honest right but like I want to go to Fiji but I'm I'm not doing this because I'm in love with hearing my

voice or producing stupid reels and putting it on Instagram. I'm doing them because there's a bigger purpose here, right? And if I feel as if my wife would receive the messages I receive on a daily basis, whether it's an email or or a DM or a text message, how that show changed their life or that joke or or, you know, made them feel like they weren't alone. Like, dude, that is worth everything to me, right? Because it's all about impact. I 100,000% agree with that. Because I get the old time.

And it's a stupid joke thing. And they say, oh, my gosh, you make me, you made me laugh at a week's or what. And you took the time to send the message. I always am pretty appreciative. And I always pointed out. I respond to as much stuff with the can. Because, yeah, they took the time. It ends up in the gym.

It's a little bit of validation. self, you know, self, to like on our side to get that good feeling out of it. But, you know, somebody took the time to be like, hey, yeah. I mean, I've been struggling. I had been fighting or whatever and you have to make us left together. And that's the only time we're left together. I can't stop. Yeah.

But I mean, bro, that, you know, yeah, it is, it is like that self-fulfilling thing, right? Where you get, we have that need for that external validation, right? Which I think is normal. I think that people that say they don't seek outside approval, they're lying. They're full of shit. At some point, we always do. Right. So, like, for those people, I always ask them, like, okay, when you go to work, like, do you care what your boss thinks of you?

Well, absolutely. Like, well, that's external validation. If you didn't give a shit, you wouldn't give a shit. Well, they could fire me. Well, what do you care if you don't care? Right. You know what I mean? So it's like, we're always looking for that.

And so, you know, from my end, when I get those, it's just like, okay, cool, what I'm doing. isn't just a hobby. It isn't just me talking on a microphone. It is me impacting the world in a very small scale, right? Of whatever it is. And to your point, if you can save one marriage, if you can save one marriage by your by your videos with your wife and that's the only time they laugh together, it's going to bring more smiles, more laughter in other areas and you are the catalyst. I'm sorry, that is God's work. Northwest Florida is one of the most beautiful places on the planet to live. For those of you that are thinking of moving from other states to come to Florida

or even just moving to a different part of the state, I want you to think of a big, beautiful luxury home. Contact Legacy Luxury Builders. They are a family-owned and operated luxury residential construction company. As a family-owned business, they believe in the power of building, not just homes, but legacies. Contact Legacy Luxury Builders. Yeah, I enjoy it too. And I'm sure you get reached out to by people where I'll pick apart.

Some of the friends that I fell out there and be like, hey, try this with your video. We're not working with our soccer club up here and on their social media stuff. Like, you just got out of this. I love, I can do this 24 hours of day. I can be so obsessed with the analytics and what works, what doesn't work, what's about shirts. Like this shirt in general, it's purple. Whatever reason I had this thing I just found this morning. It was just being kind of a shirt. This shirt does really well in videos. I don't know why. I don't know what it is, but colors, all sorts of sex seem to affect things a lot of times.

Being able to share that with someone because, like you said, I think we all, we all need that. I don't believe there are there are very many things that are actually selfless in this world whenever he's always such a selfless person and such a selfless act I was like bullshit

yeah you have an agenda he felt good about it that's why he did it yes he cared about you and yes he did that but he's not selfless let's let's step or step first okay you know aside from jumping in front of a car

to save a child or something like that pretty thoughtless but everybody needs everyone needs a fulfillment I get out of people you know I stretch myself a stupid thing and my mind doesn't stop just like you just right around

and yeah taking a step back and that's why every once in a pretty heartfelt one with Chris and she never sees those coming either which I think her even better right but we do the day and that thing and I think that's extremely important

that stuff. Yeah, no, I agree. It's funny because you were talking about colors of shirts. I had someone tell me, don't stop wearing black. I'm like, yeah, I'm not going to stop wearing black. Your videos will do better if you don't wear black. I'm like, well, you know, it's kind of the brand, right? Like, I don't, but, but at the same time, it's like, you know, I think it's just,

it's always this weird, like, you never know what's going to do well, right? You just never know. You never know. Like I posted something on Facebook. Like I said, I don't know who needs to read this, but I'm proud of you. You know, and the caption was, you know, like I see you. I am proud of you. If you are facing challenges and you are pushing through them with sadistic termination and you are doing everything you can.

I see you. I am proud of you. And it did well on Twitter. It did okay on Facebook. But it blew up, you know, on Instagram within 30, minutes and it's just you know like everybody's blow up is different i'm not searching to go viral i just think that you know there will be when the shift happens as far as the content that'll bring a different audience and that'll bring more engagement that'll bring a different aspect of it but but for me

it's like doing doing something that i love and then having people reach out ask for help and because you mentioned you know going back to the soccer club you're helping them Based on your successes, your failures on this platform, you're able now to go help somebody, right? I had a fitness coach reach out to me from Louisiana and goes, dude, I can't figure this out. Why are these not doing well? Like, how do I do this? You know, I'm like, well, dude, like, first and foremost, you're not engaging in the community. Like, you expect people just to come to you.

Like, you have to go out there and make friends. Like you, you like this is the first time I've locked eyes with you on in a live situation, but like I would probably do anything you needed. And because we've, we've established a relationship. And we're and for the people that were listening, like we were laughing yesterday. We were on the phone because I don't see his content anymore. He doesn't see mine. You know, it's like so when we're able to help, I mean, yeah, nothing is ever truly safe. Right.

We're excited because we have value. to give. That makes us feel good. Same thing when we do stuff for our kids. Nothing's ever truly selfless. Right. And that's a triggering topic, dude. I was talking to somebody else about that. I think maybe, dude, I don't know when it was.

I don't know. I don't think it was you, but it was another man. I think it was my buddy Sergio that we did a show with, that I did a show with. I don't know. And people were like, that's bullshit. That's bullshit. I got so many text messages.

Like, dude, how can you? you say there's no selflessness. I'm like, well, because there's not. There was one person that was selfless. That was Christ. Yep. You know, so I'm sorry. I don't want to hear it. It's just the way it is. We do things for other people because it makes us feel good and we want to help them and see them succeed, right? Stumbus. I didn't. But it's never just for to move. It always is, dude. But what's the favorite joke you've ever said? favorite joke that you and you let's lighten it up let's let's uh your favorite uh punchline joke that you've ever done i don't even know i could have so freaking ready up um just whenever

i can really take your buy surprise like and these are ones that i'm just recycling i think this one was wrong shit did really well facebook bandit yeah that was on instagram but it was like the real reason that women get yeast infections is so that they can understand what it's like to live with an irritating come. I died. It's not my joke. I'm just seen it. And I have this list, right? But, you know, I'm doing this thing.

It's in a realtor's office here too. And putting out like an online education thing on social media stuff. And I'd have to told them. Help anybody. And I do help a couple different ones. and I keep me in to put a Facebook group together to do some things for them a lot. But my, they asked me to title it and I said, my title was,

do you like an artist? That's actually a really good book. But the continuation of it was that you don't have to read that the way you just simply have to put your own spin. Mm-hmm. And you'll get so many haters out there because you're not saying anything different than anybody else up there. I'm, you know, most of my, a lot of my stuff I actually do come up with, but I'm sure someone else is, yeah.

Mm-hmm. And that's the thing. People are going to hate, they're going to hate. But the biggest thing is just taking action. Yeah. Taking action. Be polar. That's all how piss off the people.

That's the one thing that I don't do well enough. But it's coming. It's coming. It's coming. You just shift. You know, to me, it's like, I wanted in, and for those of you listening, right, you know, I do have a polarizing personality. I just haven't used it.

You can tell I'm very edgy. Here's my thought process behind it. I have worked for almost four years to build a community of people who love my show, love my content. I feel like being polarizing right off the bat alienates a lot of people. I think that you have to give, just like in any relationship, it's a relationship, piggy bank.

People in your community, I'll call it my teammates on Instagram, right? Like I hate the word followers. I hate it. I just can't stand it. Like it's a locker room for me. Like I like bantering in the sandbox like it's a damn baseball dugout. Right.

And those things are coming. But I just always felt like, okay, I need to build that trust first. So that way people know who I am. Now I feel like enough people that listen and consume my stuff, know my heart. And so now when I go off on some things, right, it's going to be received a lot more openly, I believe. Yeah, I think that's a really good point, too. Like, I think I have a teammate base. I think I had a teammate base of like 260,000 just TikTok, but then Instagram and Facebook really didn't.

I didn't put this content out there when it was the emotional, the empathy stuff. And so those people knew me. And I do things here and there to raise awareness or raise a bunch of money. And I helped a better. Power washing business started less really. It's funny because my wife worries about this as far as like, what do you think? Like, could we do less raunchy stuff for, can we do less this? I'm like, why?

Yeah. It got mine and whole thing. And I'm not trying to change my wife at all that's about her. She is like being, I hold her in the highest regard now as well. but I really wish that she could just share in this freedom with me where it's she don't just don't fucking care I know who I am and I need to

and I meant to do video about it like listen like you guys see 30 seconds of my video being doing some stupid ass joke you have no clue you know yeah you see what you want to see or you see what I want you to see because it does well yep I can talk I'm the deepest freaking thinker and I can get real be done lots of rapids and stuff for a long long period of time if i choose a shift content that way i will i'll lose people up here's that's good but but see the point is though

you've you've gained that respect and trust by from so many people when you do shift to that it's going to be oh i can't wait to see what he's doing now right because they're already bought in and i think that's important to but but it's funny because it's kind of the opposite in our house like I care more than I think my wife does. You know, like my wife is very secure in who she is. And I didn't grow up in a household that was built on confidence, man. You know, like I, you know, I love my mom. She's, she's great.

We have our issues, right? But, you know, my biological father was gone by the time I was two. My father, that was my father of my whole life was, you know, my mom remarried. and, you know, there was a lot of leading by fear, right? And if you don't play Major League Baseball, you won't be shit because you can't do anything with your hands. And you can't do this. You can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't. And that brings a lot of insecurities, right?

And I'll be the first man. And this is something too, man. So many men are like, I don't have any insecurities. You're a freaking liar. You're a liar. I have a ton of them. I may manage them better than maybe the dude next to me, but don't get it twisted. They are there.

They are there. And when I'm open, I was on my friend Ali and Demisha's show about three or four months ago. I think it might have been maybe three months ago. And I was sharing how I felt personally in high school. And my friend Ali was a freshman when I was a senior. She goes, oh my God. I never saw that. I saw you as popular.

I saw you as confident. I saw you as well put together. I'm like, yeah, I was an insecure kid, felt like I was fat, not good looking enough, worried about my ears, worried about everything. And I felt that was overcompensating. But that's not what came out. Yep. You know what I mean? Like, there's a ton of insecurity still.

Yeah. Yeah. I just, I don't cheer. and I don't. It doesn't want me insecurities act. Exactly. Exactly.

And I'm not, I'm not challenging you on that at all. I'm just saying like, yeah, like for people to say that they don't have insecurities, that's crazy to me. You know, but like my wife,

absolute 12 out of 10 smoke show Ecuadorian, like gorgeous. And early on in her life, her dad said to her, you are going, going to be so beautiful, but your confidence needs to come from your brain. And my wife, like, if she is anything, she has that hubris around her cerebral abilities, right? And that's, that's attractive to me. It's like, you look like that and you, and you're like your brain's your

most attractive asset. Like, yeah, like spend the rest of your life with me, please. Right. So I don't know where we're going with that, but it's, it's, you know, it's just one of of those things, man. It's just, it always just comes to my mind. I think about it a lot. You know, it's just, it's just interesting to me. You know, I think, no, I love where our conversation goes back and forth and forth. I think that's the biggest thing. Like, I see my wife, you know, like, that she does not. Yeah. I mean, I, I think she's amazed at all in her worst moments. And I think that women in general, you know if you look at it they get

the last surgery or Botox or whatever she gets her nails done she gets her lashes done this shit it's not for me her is hell not really yeah yeah it doesn't make you know does she look good with the abs she looks as good with it without abs

yeah and so you see all the different relationship stuff that's always on there and one thing I picked up on and this would have to be all the time back but somebody had somebody's talking about the fact that if women marry men for their potential when men married women for who they are in that long. Wow. And I think that that is just, I just felt that because I didn't, when we got married, I was like, okay, she's going to be.

Yeah, she's going to be amazing. They can be a lawyer or she can be a doctor over. You're like, she is amazing. Yeah. And I feel like that women, in general enough, that polarizing thing, sure, but I think people, really think of you really look at that pretty damn true well i mean dude i provide down the road right yeah i mean look dude if i were to sit here and tell you that i felt my wife married me for the man i was then right how could she of how could she of yeah you know i was about and this is what's funny

like i locked her down i was like 250 pounds that is shit like what are you thinking you could have anybody. And she's like, you have the best heart and you're the most genuine dude I know and you're an amazing father. Like, I think you're it. And you're going to be a provider. You know, and whereas with her, I was just like, she's everything I wanted in that moment. Like already. Right. And so that's, that's interesting, dude. See, see, guys, he isn't interesting. He is a very deep thinker. He's very deep. Because I've never thought of that. But yeah, I mean, I mean, dude, she didn't marry me for the dude. I was back then.

There's no way in hell. She can say whatever she wants. There's no way on God's green earth that I ever deserve her. I still fight to deserve her. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. You know? You were talking about to another quick left term, but the same kind of arena.

I really failed. And this was a week's gone out like my oldest. I don't remember what we were doing, just scoop around. she wanted me to stop and I was just go over there and it turns into this massive bike and she starts calling on stuff from I don't even know why or whatever you know kind of hold on to things and I just I lost it and I was like you guys had no idea what goes through I had a day and I'm trying to tell the phone girl that no one cares what a man what a man feels like until it turns into anger and you can all of a sudden point fingers at hand

and I think there is so much truth to that but I'm sitting there trying to blast this on my 12 you're like a dumbass like she don't know she understand it yes but is there really in that moment the right thing and I just it was I was yelling she was yelling and I mean it was bad but it's when you do do a lot of thinking like that and you're you know you're pretty self-aware about self same as you you need to determine society right it gives it tumult to it i know how your mind works so at least a little but just from the name of everything you do with i've seen the friends come trying to tone that down is not easy no it's not and dude it's funny because you you brought up something with your 12 year old

and every father has her trigger like you know i i i've said this very inarticulately at times like you have you guys have no clue how much I fucking do like I I'm there's not many fathers that wake up in the morning while there while the kids are getting ready does the lunches does the breakfast does the waters does the coffee blah blah blah blah blah blah and you know it's a lot because I also have my stuff my phone doesn't ever fucking stop dude like my email's blowing up like even since we've been on this call, I've gotten like 20 texts. Yeah. Like, you know, if it's not my payroll business that I own, it's my brand.

It's, it's something. And then to go out there to the car when I have warm breakfast from my five year old. And she goes, I don't want this. I'm like, what the fuck? Like, I'm just like, that's the way I feel inside, right? That's the way I feel inside. And I know I haven't been cursing a lot on my show lately, guys, for you as you listening, but this one is just you're going to have to deal with it because this is what goes

on in my mind. It's like, it's the, you don't appreciate me. Like you don't appreciate me. Like yesterday was one of those moments. I stayed quiet and it festered and I walked in and then my wife called and then we got into it because I subconsciously took it out on her. And I had a condescending tone to me. Right. But the thing is, is like, I'm like, What did you want? I wanted avocado toss. I'm like, well,

freaking sorry, okay, this isn't Sunday brunch. It's Tuesday or Wednesday, whatever day it was. It's like, but those moments. Yeah.

You brought up feeling appreciated. I think to me, that's my love language. And that's just how I feel about it. Like, yeah, I don't care. You can tell me you hate me all day long.

We're going to get in scoffs, whatever. But if you, if my kids, and they know, this a little bit. They don't always remember it. Just simple thank you. Hey, Dad, I see. Appreciate you. Same thing for my wife. And we've got this conversation

part I'd have multiple times because her love language is totally different. And so trying to meet each other in there where I have to show her definitely that she showed me is a constant battle. Yeah. But gosh, man, for I think any man in Jack, it's just, do you see it? And yeah, do you see me, right? Do you see dad? And let me, I don't want people listening to think that I have ungrateful children because I don't.

They're amazing. And a lot of my listeners do know my children, right? That I don't say a lot of my listeners because there's much more now. A lot of times when I talk about this, like I remember back when only 15 people were listening. It's not the same 15 people. But like my, my youngest that I got so mad at yesterday. She's my most grateful. Oh, thank you, Daddy.

You're such a good Papa. But there's those moments where I'm just like, what the, like, I don't know. I made you an egg sandwich. Eat it or don't. Like, starve. Stard. Starve. And then, Daddy told me to starve.

I'm like, oh, God, dude. But, but dude, it's like, it's those moments where, you know, looking back at us like, you know what, honey. You're right. I know you would really love avocado toast. The fact of the matter is I just didn't have time today. And I don't have avocados. So maybe over the weekend, but enjoy your sandwich. If you don't want to eat it, that's fine.

Hey, give it to mama. Yeah. And that would be the perfect response. And that's how I wish I would respond. Yeah. And that's right. If you realize it after the fact, but in that moment, man, it's just, Jesus, little mother.

Yeah. Well, we're still animals. Yeah. We have that savage, dude. I'm sorry. I got that little savage in me. And it's just like, all right, cool. Like, you don't like that shit.

Make your own damn breakfast then. Yep. Go eat the garbage at school. To this, driving you this morning. You can walk. Yeah. You want to find your ass.

Put on your shoes, girl. Yeah. Get there. Oh, we're up. We're up both ways. Bitch, let's go. Yeah. I love it.

I love it. Look, man, I appreciate you. And we got to land the plane here. But I just thank you for. for hopping on here. You know, it's funny. You mentioned the conversation's going, you like how it's going left, right,

and all over the place. It's kind of what I love because that's real life, right? And what I try to do with my show is bring certain things out in my guests that my audience can enjoy and truly connect with them on. And I think we accomplished that today, dude. I truly do. I appreciate you. I feel like I got to know you much, much better.

And I think there's going to be some more stuff we can do down the road together. We'd love to have you out here when we get the relaunch going. We can do some funny things, some fun stuff. But just thank you, dude. Thank you. Real quick, before you go, why don't you, and I'll put the links in, but why don't you tell everybody where they can find you? Oh, man.

You can find me all. Don't give them your address. Don't give them your fucking address, dude. Don't be a dumbass. I thought that's what you matter. I was getting visitors. They're like a bit of the door. Hey, where's ripple time at?

Yeah, right. Yeah, ripple time on TikTok, Facebook, Steve Wilts and Instagram. I flip Instagram with Steve Wilts. YouTube is under a ripple time or Steve Wilts. Honestly, man, and you know this. You just search your name. You ever do that? Yeah, it used to nothing come up.

Now it's like, holy shit, I got a thing on the right hand side now. That's cool. Yeah. Knowledge panel. I didn't even know what that was. Right. Look, Ma, I made it. I'm huge now, mom.

I'm huge. There's like two things written about me, but it's there. Fuck it. Yeah, exactly. It's a little thing. It's on my life, off tap. Absolutely, it's a little things, right? And I got all the little things.

So, but look, man, I appreciate you, dude. And audience, those you listen in, just go check my boy out. And he also does mortgages. He's one of the best mortgage brokers in the state of Michigan. So if you ever need anything, make sure you do it. nationwide everywhere everywhere go hit them up i love y'all until next time stay sadistically determined peace out right that down southwest florida is one of the most beautiful places on the planet to live for those of you that are thinking of moving from other states to come to florida or even just moving to a

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