Determined Society with Shawn French | Adversity & Mindset - Powerful Thoughts with Tyler Todt

Episode Date: November 28, 2022

All too often, we get into a comparison mindset and analyze our life and accomplishments in regard to what we see other people doing, but what if instead of comparing, we cheered each other on? If you get out of the dark corners of social media, you can meet and connect with people you relate to on deep levels and experience a sense of mutual respect, growth, and learning from one another. That is what you are going to get from today’s conversation with Tyler Todt.  Tyler Todt coaches and leads people to better their habits, health, energy levels, and life. He is a certified trainer that loves helping others reach their goals and create an intentional life full of purpose, energy, and passion. Tyler’s mission is to help others uplevel their life so that we can all win together. As a husband, father, and Christ follower, Tyler knows the significance of being mindful of what we allow into our lives in terms of what we absorb on social media, and who we are surrounded by. In this episode, Tyler and Shawn get real about the fact that our society is too focused on how much money people are making instead of being focused on what kind of person they are. Valuing character, goals, and growth is far more powerful than always being focused on how many digits someone has in their bank account. While finances are a huge part of life, they are not everything, and we all need to take a step back and ask ourselves if our priorities are in the right place. Are we being present and intentional spouses, parents, friends, and members of society? Tyler encourages us all to find our balance and stay mindful of what is important in life. Surrounding ourselves with other people that share these priorities, whether it be in person or even on social media, will lead to a more uplifted society where we all want to see each other win.  Key highlights: Introduction to Tyler and how he and Shawn met Too often men get into a comparison mindset Getting out of the negative and dark places of social media Health is the new wealth Society is too focused on money and how much you make, not how you are working to be a better person Relationship building 1:1 We’re not confined to the people in close proximity anymore because we can find our tribe online now Being mindful of your circle and who you interact with Making the choice to seek out other people that are wanting to go to higher levels Modeling behavior for our kids because they are always watching Giving yourself permission to rest and prioritize balance in what Tyler calls a “b-day” Being mindful and finding your balance so that you are still giving time and attention to the people that matter most The problem with scarcity mindset and feeling like we need to do and respond to everything right away Connect with Tyler Todt: Instagram: @tyromper Twitter: @tyromper YouTube: Tyler Todt TikTok: @tylertodt Connect with Shawn French: Instagram: @theshawnfrench Website: theshawnfrench.com Facebook group: The Determined Society Twitter: @theshawnmfrench YouTube: The Shawn French Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When it comes to what your family eats and drinks, you know your choices matter. You're the expert because you know what fits your life. And getting it right starts with good information. That's why America's beverage companies are sharing more information about our ingredients at good to know facts.org. No spin, no judgments, just the facts straight from the experts for more than 140 beverage ingredients. Visit good to know facts.org. It's always important. I want people to listen to this one. Listen to your gut with people. Too many people are so focused on growing their seven, eight figure businesses. But are they a seven figure, eight figure husband or father? You're kind of trained as a man to kind of find your worth. If you just have a sample of a thousand guys that just meet each other for the first time, what's the first question? Probably 90% of last. What do you do? And what they're insinuating by that is how much do you make? How much do I need to respect you? It's not like, hey, have you led your families on any adventures lately? What are you reading and studying? How are you growing. It's always important to know what that person values first. What's up, y'all? Welcome

back to another episode of The Determined Society. Today I have with me a good buddy of mine. I met him through some mutual friends, Jim McCool, Tim Reeves on a social platform. And I've really been impressed with his story. You know, Tyler Toe has a story that every American man I feel can relate to in college, chasing money, chasing women, in the bars, having some drinks. And then all of a sudden, in the middle of chasing all the shiny things, he realized that most of it is a freaking nightmare. And so I have with me today a reformed, a self-development guru, Tyler Toe, who was five years into his journey.

He has a Christ follower, a husband, an amazing father, a speaker, and a coach. an amazing, an amazing retreat leader. Welcome to the show, my man. Brother, Sean, it's an incredible honor to be here, man. You're a man that I've really admired, you know, before we even knew each other, I followed you on Instagram. I got a lot of inspiration from you. And now that we've gotten to connect, man, I feel on a lot of levels we're like the same person just living across the country. I really admire you and look up to you, man. So it's an honor to be here. I appreciate that because I feel like in good relationships. And I feel like men don't really do this enough is give other men credit.

right and and be forthcoming with the admiration of another man i think you know uh the the the the manly society is broken because i could seriously look at you and and say like man i really admire who you are as a man uh you know a husband and a father like dude like you i mean like bro you you you have it figured out and i know that you have your days like everybody does but um you know the respect is is more than mutual brother i appreciate that man. And I think that's a good point you make right off the bat that, you know, too often, I think men especially or maybe women too, I don't know, but you know, you get kind of this comparison mindset or whatnot. Whereas, you know, man, you shoot me a text like, oh, look what I'm doing

for my baby girl today. And I'm like, dude, you're killing it. That's the greatest, man. You know, and I think we go back and forth on that stuff of we both want to be excellent fathers, excellent leaders, excellent men. And so why not just get to learn from each other, man? There's no better way, right? Yeah, I totally forgot about that. You're talking about when my daughter had her sixth birthday and there was a princess thing. I'm like, dude. And that's funny because like, guys, people listen to the show. I need you to understand something here.

If you truly decide to get out of the dark corners of social media and get into the light of social media, you, you will meet people that you can relate to more than people that you live next door to or that are related to. So a little bit of a background. I have never met Tyler in person. In fact, he lives in Nevada. Las Vegas, if I'm, if I'm correct in that in that general area. But I knew that he would appreciate that video of my daughter's birthday party. It's knowing your audience, right? It's knowing

your friends. I showed it to my wife and my daughter, man. They both liked it too, man. No, it's so cool like that because you learn so much about people just by seeing how they operate on social media. And granted, you can tell if someone's being real or not. But it's, it's really cool because I've gotten the opportunity to know your background and to know what you're like when you're not on social media. And it's pouring in to others, specifically your family. Yeah, man, that's definitely the biggest priority. And you know, you alluded to a little bit in the intro, I kind of chased the other things there for a while. And those led to just a place of very unhappiness for me. And I really started to realize about five this years ago that,

you know, man, whether we have a $25,000 chandelier or no chandelier, that doesn't really affect my overall happiness. But what does is how intentional I am with my day, how I'm taking care of my body, my mind, my soul, the relationships I'm cultivating. And really, it's really cheesy and cliche. But a lot of these things, man, you know, money can't really buy you a lot of the most important things in life, you know. And so I feel like the richest guy in the world, man, because every day I get to wake up surrounded by people that I absolutely love and love me back and get to pour into a lot of other people and choose how I use my day and what I'm going to work on. And so, yeah, man, I just feel incredibly blessed at this point in my life.

Dude, that's a great point, man, because I think all too often in society, right, we can get caught up on the things, right? Again, you know, self-admittedly, I still have that little bit of the issue, you know, like I've always wanted a Cadillac escalate. It's my dream car. I know it's a thing. You know, I probably shouldn't spend my money on it. But you know what I did. I ordered one. But that's all I want.

You know, I'm not that guy that's going to go out and buy the Rolex. You know, I'm not the guy that is, you know, needing the designer clothes. Like, bro, I got this shirt at Target, bro. I don't even, you know, I don't even care about all that stuff. But it's really cool because, you know, there's, and I want the listeners to really take this part in. because what you said was so powerful is, you know, hey, whether I have a $25,000 chandelier or zero chandelier, it's not going to dictate how happy I am in my life. And guys, the chandelier, for those of you that don't really like chandelier chandeliers, it's a metaphor. You don't need the shiny stuff in your life.

You know, you need your health, which is the new wealth. And you need those who are next to you, every single day your family to love and respect you in the utmost degree. That's how you dictate success. And I think too many people out there, and we can touch on this right now, are so focused on growing their seven, eight figure, eight figure businesses. But are they a seven figure, eight figure husband or father? And I think society probably almost, you're kind of trained as a man to kind of find your worth, you know, even if you just kind of, you know, probably have a sample of a thousand guys that

just meet each other for the first time, what's the first question? Probably 90% will ask. What do you do? And what they're insinuating by that is how much do you make? How much do I need to respect you? How much, you know, it's not like, hey, have you led your families on any adventures lately? What are you reading and studying? How are you growing? You know, what kind of splits you do at the gym? How you keeping yourself healthy? You know, it's usually what do you do? And I think society, you know, we've seen 100,000 commercials at this point in our life probably selling us, well, if we got the mansion and the Lexus in the driveway and the Rolex on the arm and the Gucci on, well, then we're happy, right? But man, it's just a facade most of it. And, you know,

again, man, if you want a Rolex, that's your dream watch or you got the car. Everybody has their thing, right? I like shoes, to be honest. My son's in a pair of Jordans. You know, they're not super cheap, but dude, I like, that's a splurge, right? But day to day, I'm saying, you know, stuff is not going to dictate my I'm just going to choose to be happy wherever I am. And I think that is a daily choice that we can focus on. It's so funny because I'm listening to what you just said. And one of the very first things you talked about is like, hey, what are what is the first thing that men ask about what do you do?

I can confidently say, I know that's not the first question you ask. That is the last question I ask. Yeah. And I think that's awareness, right? because somebody like us that has kind of like chase things and all that, we know what that really means in how that can, you know, allow people to feel possibly or, you know, give permission to feel.

It's always important to know what that person values first, right? That's a relationship building 101. That's what I love. Hey, have you taken your family on India Adventures lately? What a cool conversation. Yeah. Hey, what do you do to stay active? You look great, man.

What do you do? My God, give me your serious. Like having those types of conversations is very, you know, you can do them in a genuine way. And then ultimately you learn what people do. That's right, man. Yeah. It's, you know, most of us, you know, for a long time, at least I went to an office for six years. And, you know, if you asked me what I did, yeah, I ran a bank. I ran the, manage the largest bank here in America, JPMorgan Chase, a branch, you know. And people would ask me what I did. And yeah, you know, that, but it didn't really interest me. You know, that's just what I did to pay the bills until I create the side hustles to do what I really wanted to do. Right. And so. I've made it a point here these last couple years. You know, I dropped my daughter off at school and scooper up a lot. And I see other dads there. And it's kind of like a friend filter for me now. I know how deep of a friendship we're going to have.

I got two like best buddies here that I met through dropping their daughters off. And both of them right away. One of them asked me, you know, what are you reading right now, Ty? And I just knew I'm going to get along with this guy, man. We had dinner party at his house a few nights ago, you know. And, you know, another guy asking me, and he's like, man, I'm side hustle. I'm trying to create this thing on Amazon. What do you think about this, Ty?

I, you know, I, you know, and it's like, you know, they didn't ask me. They don't care what I, you know, what I do. What do you, how do you pay the bills? It's like, what are we working on? What are we growing? What are we learning together? You know, the other guy invited me to my tie boxing with them, you know. That's cool.

I've been a couple times. It's been cool, you know, but yeah, I seek those relationships out now quite a bit more because I think it is, you know, and you alluded to it kind of come full circle from what you first talked about is, you know, we're no longer confined like we once were, maybe 50th years ago from human history to where you were just kind of friends but their neighbors, man. And you hope to have cool neighbors because if you don't, you know, but now with social media, man, you know, I can find a tribe of like-minded men like yourself all over the world, man. And I can, I can choose to who I'm going to follow and curate a positive

feed and interact with these people and grow with them right alongside them. And that's such a powerful thing if you seek that out. Now, it doesn't happen by coincidence, you know, for the time I was probably 25 to 34, brother, I was following freaking, you know, Nancy Pelosi on Twitter. And, you know, so it was just these toxic, I was following politics and reading these hateful comments. And I thought the world was, you know, going to hell in a handbasket. Yeah. You know, it wasn't until I got very, very mindful of my inputs, what was coming in and surrounding myself by following people like you, like a Zach Hamel, like a Gia McCool. He's really positive people that are putting great things out there every day.

And then you start to connect with those people. And you just see your life just start to go up and up and up as you do that. Man, that's a great point. I feel like when we get out of that, you know, constrictive environment of just, okay, your neighbors or your friends or whatever. Granted,

I have great neighbors, dude. I have some, you know, no knock on the neighbors. I like my neighbors too. Like I have, like I have specifically probably three that I love.

Like I love them. They're completely different than me, but I love them, right? And I spend time with them because I know I'm safe there. And, but, you know,

when you talk about getting out of the constructs of just your neighborhood and, you know, The one word came to mind was catalyst, right? Is like, who is the catalyst for this relationship? Well, I have two catalysts for this relationship that you and I have. I, I messaged Gia McCool on Instagram, right? I was like, I really want to have you on my podcast. I just absolutely love your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your,

your perspective on the dark side of modeling. And we went back and for, I went back and forth with their management for a long time. And what I found out today, day is, you know, they kind of said like, hey, don't work with this guy. Did, you know, like, you know, like, hey, he's too young. He's too new. You know, you know, and she's like, I got a good feeling about this guy. Hmm.

And me and her are close, you know, and we're friends. And then I met Reeves who introduced us. And it's like, he said, I think he said something like, I don't know, man. Like, I think having Tyler Toad and, you know, Sean, French on a podcast would probably melt microphones. He's like, I think the world will be too much positivity. The world. Yes, that's what it was.

Yeah. Those are both great people, man. And yeah, shout out to Gia because I feel like this is a lady who has, what, nine million followers across social media. And she's the most humble person I think I've ever talked to. She'll like, dude, I got, I got buddies on Twitter that were just starting to grow and literally had 80, 80 followers. And Gia's got nine million.

She shot my buddy a DM and encouraged him just for no reason. just not selling anything, just saying, hey, I love your tweets. Keep going. You know, like, what kind of person does that? It's just an amazing human. And Reeves is one of the best people I've ever met to, man. He came on my first retreat. I feel like that guy's like a brother to me, man. I just absolutely love this guy. Yeah, no, those are top-notch individuals. You know, you know, G and I, we, we speak very frequently. In fact, we were, I was on the phone with her before we started recording the show. I'm like, Gia, I got, like, I got Tyler like one minute. Like I got to go. But it's just it's it's the it's the human aspect, right? I think that,

you know, having people around you that are good people, like you're able to like have access to other good people. And you know, with that, it's always important. I want people to listen to this one. Um, is listen to your gut with people. And I use my wife for this, dude, because, you know, like I'm that dummy. I'm that dummy would be like, hey like babe this guy says he can verify me for 200 bucks and she goes Sean Sean that's not true yeah you're probably right you know so I think you know having people like Gia my wife your wife and Reeves um a healthy circle allows us to filter out some things and and dude it just it just it brings a lot of creativity I learn from all you guys daily

man same and i think you know both of us being you know wanting to be excellent dads i think what do we tell our kids a lot right you are who you hang around hey you know my daughter's only seven but you know we're already starting to have those conversations of you know if if you're going to hang around the kids that are you know getting getting a's in extracurriculars in the robotics club playing sports being active uh you know you're just more likely to do those things but if you're hanging around kids who i don't care i don't like this i don't want to but sooner or later you're going to be talking like that too, you know. And I think we're mindful of that when we're kids, but we need to apply that to lessons as we grow in age, too. We always need to be mindful of our circle. And I think too many

people, especially men out there, they get in these maybe toxic type work environments, right, where that's just the only people they really interact with is some of these people that are constantly complaining about work, complaining about their wives, complaining about their job. They're not, they're not getting after it. They're not going to the gym. They're not doing all these right things. And so, you know, if anybody out there is listening to this now, you got to make that choice to go out on social media and seek those people out or find other people in your community, whether it be a men's group, a church group, whatever that might be, and find other people that are wanting to go to those higher levels in life. And man, you know, if you hang out

with 10 people like that, you'll soon be the 11th. You know, it's just pure pressure is a real thing. It's, it's so interesting because, you know, the, I just learned so much more about you, the more we have interactions. It's like, you're talking about robotics club with your daughter. You're talking about all these different things. It's like, you know, like some people are like, hey, you know, like, where are we going to go play on a playground? I think that's cool too. You got to get your kids out and play. But like, you know, what are we teaching our children, right?

When my kids, you know, see me doing this stuff, like my son freaks out if he sees me on YouTube, right? Like, freaks out. Like, there's times where, you know, my wife will open up her phone when she thinks the kids aren't looking or I will. and you know I have two pages on Instagram I have my podcast page and then I have my my regular page my regular page is obviously astronomically bigger but if I come up oh my God my dad you're like the point there the thing that I love about that is when the kids see me and my wife do really cool things it gives them the permission to do the exact same in their lives. And that is what I'm all about. I want to create something so special. And then I want my kids to

come behind me and embarrass me because there's so much better than me. Man, you just hit the nail on the head right there. I think that should be every father's dream, right? And man, you know, I look back to my own childhood, Sean. And one of the best memories I think I have is being about an eight or nine year old boy. And my dad was training to qualify for a Boston Marathon. And my dad, good shape. You know, he came from a really rough childhood where his dad wasn't around a lot. He was a war hero, but he brought a lot of that stuff back with them. Right. So I'm going to be like a really present dad, you know, and I'm going to be in shape and make sure my family's healthy and all this stuff. And I vividly remember my dad throwing me on his shoulders, you know, I had to weigh 60, 70 pounds and sprinting up and

down hills. And my dad's saying, I got one more. I got one more. You know, getting after it, right? And I remember thinking, like, I'd see some of these other dads and they were telling stories. Well, back when I was in high school, I could do this, you know. My dad's never been that kind of guy. He's 65 and he's still pushing him. I talked to him yesterday. He's in retirement. He's working at a farm, the farmland that he owns, actually, learning how to to harvest crops and he's like, dude, I've learned a thousand new things this week. It's been amazing, you know. And I think we can give that gift to our kids to show him, man, my dad's a lifelong learner. You know, to the day he takes his last breath, which I hope is 35 years from now, I think my dad will still be learning new things, reading, applying those things, trying to get better at all these things.

And, you know, I think that's what rubbed off on me a lot. And I hope to do the same thing to my kids, right? Like, they need to see dad pushing himself every day, not hearing stories about what dad used to do in high school. Yeah. But what is dad doing today to get better? And again, kids are going to see that and they're just more likely to do what you do. You know, my daughter asked me to come, can I do a circuit with you, Daddy? Can I pick a couple songs? Can we go out and do a circuit?

You know, why is that? Well, she sees Daddy going out and doing circuits and pushing himself. So she wants to do it too. This hits hard. This hits different for me. And I'm going to tell you why, right? So when I grew up, I didn't have that. You know, I had, you know, my, my father, my biological father didn't want anything to do with me.

and then my my stepfather who's my father but we that's a different podcast um but you know it was hard work it's not good enough it's not good enough it's not good enough he was blue collar so i didn't have that upbringing of hey what are you reading right now what have you learned today you know um that's not how it was brought up so for me as a father like i'm the cycle breaker And a lot of times, you know, my wife will, you know, say like, hey, listen, you know, you need to give yourself a little bit of a break here. Because unfortunately, you growing up, you didn't have those role models like that. Like my mom's amazing. I love my mom.

Love her to death. She's actually here for almost two weeks because of the hurricane, like, dropped her off on Sunday and like almost cried because I, as frustrating as it was having her here all the time. Like, now I miss her like crazy. But I didn't have, like you said, like it rubbed off on me. I have a lot of bad habits that it rubbed off on me that I constantly work to overcome. And so my wife will come back and say, like, hey, you know, you need to be a little bit, you know, give yourself a little more grace because in spite of your upbringing, you know, like look at what you've done. And so I would say it's not any easier for you or harder for me.

It's just that for people out there, like this is a journey every day. it's a decision and I think that if you don't have those amazing role models of that one more like uncle Ed Milette says that one more I got one more in me do that one more call read the book build the robot whatever it is to grow then you have to be that trendsetter in your family because now your kids are looking at you so you have to do and act differently and I'm going to tell you something here and this is something that I want to share you know to this audience is that's sometimes is painful because it stretches me to a point where I'm going into the unknown. Like, I don't know what that feels like.

So sometimes it physically and emotionally hurts. It's worth it because it's my kids. But, you know, it's just something that I wanted to share with you right there. That's super powerful, man. And bad props to you because, you know, your kids were going to, they're going to honor you so much for that, man. I mean, I honor my dad. And I tell my dad this.

I've written in letters. And, you know, I just. hug him every time I see him and just say thank you, man, you know, for being, I know it's hard to break cycles, right? Like we are usually we just, it's something like you're 300% more likely to be obese if your parents are. You're 400% more likely to smoke if your parents did. All these things, we kind of just take with us into adulthood. And so for you to pause there and say, that's not going to be my story. I'm going to be that present locked in dad that's throwing my girl a birthday party that looks like she's the, you know, like, is this a key thing

yet? What's going on here? But I think mad props to you for doing that, brother. Your children will truly honor you for that for the rest of your life, man. And probably even beyond, your legacy will live on even after, man, because of that. It's powerful. I appreciate it. And just like you said, like, you know, my parents aren't in good shape. You know, so it's something I battle.

You know, my internal temperature on fitness is very, very low. It's set out like 60 or 70. Right? I'll get, I'll get some momentum. And then I'll, like, like, I keep referring to Ed Milet's book. You know, I don't want to take credit for what I'm saying. This is his words. It's like, you know, if your internal internal temperature is set at 75, then you

cannot burn out 100, right? Whether it's business or whether it's, whether it's fitness, you will find a way to self-sabotage to cool yourself down to that 75. You know, and a lot of times, that's what I do with fitness. Fully transparent, like, I'll do the work. I'll get, I'll work out. But then one thing will throw me off. the hurricane or now my gym isn't open 24-7. So it's like the opportunity to cool my

temperature gauge back down instead of burning at that hundred. So, you know, it is a, it is a thing, man. You will, you will default to what you grew up watching. That's even more powerful and more reason I think for guys like us than to give our kids that gift, you know, to to teach him to be on fire all the time and to set that standard higher, right? So that when they get adults, They can hopefully do that. And then, you know, even our grandkids, our great can't kids can benefit from that. Yeah, let's talk about that real quick because, you know, we talked a little bit before we hit record about always pouring into others and living a high energy life and in coaching and giving and giving and giving. What has been your experience on how that actually takes a toll on your emotions and kind of your own personal energy? Yeah, man, that's been a very work in progress.

And you alluded to how your wife is kind of a cheat code for you. we joke about this too off camera that without my wife, man, I would have never accomplished anything that I have been able to accomplish at this point now. I mean, she, I give her permission and she gives me permission that, you know, she'll sometimes sit me down and just say, Ty, I love you. You're going too hard. You look like you're burning out on both ends. You know, you got to give yourself a day. You've got to give yourself some rest. And so I've really worked hard with her and I've really journal a lot and try and stay mindful that, hey, man, when like people, I don't think quite understand this unless you have a really big social media following that it's a lot of energy transfer, man. You know, like, dude, you're putting your life out there. You're putting a lot of energy into all these things you're doing. It's not just as easy as maybe for some like anonymous accounts that just, you know, copy paste off one platform, put it onto another. But yeah, when you're kind of sharing your life and every day what you're doing, it does take a lot of energy. And then, you know, I got one-on-one clients, group coaching. A lot of these things where I'm pouring into guys all day. You know, guys are hitting PRs. We're hyper.

up about it. I'm constantly pouring into other guys. And so, yeah, there is that tendency that I have to say, and ultimately for me, it comes back to faith. And I look, and my wife will say to me sometimes, you know, we're reading about Jesus a couple nights ago. He went in the wilderness by himself. He didn't need to do that. He's, you know, I believe the son of God and he didn't need to, but he did that to model it for us. And so I've been pretty intentional where I have two afternoons every single week, where as much as I might want to sometimes, even if I'm feeling I'm like at 100, I just take off.

I just unplug. I might fire off a couple tweets from the drafts, but not be on social media at all. And I won't book anything with clients. I won't book anything with content. I'll just be. And I kind of took that from Zach Hamill. He was my coach for a really long time.

I guess this is awesome, man. Oh, he's, yeah. I saw that you hired him at one point. And so then I followed him obviously, right? And I like what he, it's a real dude, man. he's a beast. Yeah, he's just awesome.

So he calls it B-Day, and that's where you just be as present as you can, around the people that you love. And to me that it fills me up just to take my kids to the park for four hours, push them on swings, laugh, fart around, have a little picnic, never look at my phone, come home. Then I feel like, man, the next day I wake up, I'm recharge and ready to go. And so I think just being really mindful around giving yourself permission to take a rest. I think for guys like you and I probably, and maybe other people listen to this,

We consider ourselves high achievers. You know, early in my life, man, I, you know, I found poker when I was 20. From 20 to 24, you know, I made seven figures playing poker. And it was unbelievable. Bro, I played 14, 15 hours a day, seven days a week. That's just my work ethic. You know, I basically told people, I don't care if you're smarter than me. I'll outwork you, you know.

And I think I had that tendency with Twitter for the first little while, too. I don't, I don't care if you're a better writer than me. I'll tweet more than you. I'll engage more. You know, I'm going to grow. I'm going to do this. I'm going to accomplish these goals. I set out to accomplish. But I think it's finding that perfect balance, right? And live in your

ultimate, your best life. Again, it's, I'm not competing with other people. I'm just trying to live my best life. And so you got to schedule in and be very intentional with that rest. Otherwise, I do think you just tend to burn out. And I've definitely experienced that. Something I've worked really, really hard on the last few years. Because, you know, in those poker days, man, I was pretty, I was a disaster of a human, you know, like there was. I mean, bro, I was winning a lot of money, but I was losing it everything else. you know, just because I had no balance. And so worked really hard to find that balance.

Dude, that's powerful, dude. Like we keep saying that word powerful. We're going to have to name this episode, like powerful thoughts with power to or something. Because, like, you know, when you talk about having a B day, like, I feel like this, this show is happening for a reason because this is something that is going on in my life right now. I'm not giving myself that time. time to do that. So what's happening is like these moments where my children are still not back to

school. You know, like today I've been on calls all day. It's Thursday. I have to do that, man. You know, but like, you know, maybe Saturday, you know, just turn off the phone. Block off the schedule, turn off the phone because I'm not doing that. And I think that's one of the reasons sometimes I hit these lulls that we talk about in that burnout and frustration. So thank you for sharing that me because it's a you know i love when i have guests on that can actually give me like tremendous value that i can now go apply in my life you know right i i knew getting into this conversation there's going to be multiple things for me that is a huge takeaway dude because i again i repeat you know i've always told my audience this like i'm always going to be real i do not do that

i'm not always the most present i'm the most driven i'm the most determined But a lot of times that could help me, but it also, that hurts me. That's my Achilles heel. And if I'm real honest, man, it's the same. You know, it's always a work in progress. I think I started on the end of being about a 0% good at this thing, you know. Yeah. I mean, I even remember this is hard to admit because I want to be the best dad.

And my message is always being present. But I remember when I first got, you know, 4, 5,000,000 Twitter followers. I was still working a full-time job, 45 hours a week, 48 hours, 50 hours a week, right? And then I'd get home and I'd be trying to run my side business to grow to get out of that, you know? Yeah. And there was one night in particular, man, I remember my daughter had to ask me the same question like four times. And I was just, I was buried in it trying to create and grow. And I remember my wife kind of bringing it up to me and saying, you know, this can't be a thing. I appreciate your work ethic. I appreciate everything you're bringing to the

family. I appreciate it. But, you know, we got to figure this out. She's like, you know, and we just started of doing a thing where I would pull off to the side of the road before I got home. And I would catch up with all my stuff for 10 or 15 minutes, get my tweet out, get whatever I needed to be done, respond to a client. And then I'd come in and be fully locked in with the family, right? And so we always have this saying that like 30 minutes locked in with them is better than three hours not being present. Oh, 100%.

They don't know time. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And so that's what I've really tried to focus on. I can still do better. 100%. Man, there's definitely still days.

bro, you know, I got four or five clients reaching back and hang on one day. Hang on. Hang on. Hey, I think we can all do better at that and especially as men that are driven. We want to succeed and do these great things. But again, it goes back to being mindful and finding that balance. I think till the day I die, that's something I'll always work on and always be trying to move the needle farther, you know, but by no means do I have this solved, you know? Yeah, man, that's the growth mindset. It's funny because like, well, my wife and I implemented is like, you know, every Friday, she's like she has access to my calendar. She's my business partner.

So she goes in and she took Friday at 2 p.m. Crossed it off. Done. Like you cannot. She was at your time to unplug. Now when the kids go to bed, if you want to crank up the computer, cool.

But you know, it's not her controlling my schedule. That is her helping her husband because she needs me present too. That's the one thing that we've been talking about is like the kids need us. The kids need us. No, our wives need us. And we need our wives.

it's equal. We need each other. And there's a lot of, you know, narrative going around like we don't need each other. Women don't need men and men don't need women. That is all a lie. That is what society wants you to believe. We are built to be together and to need support and to give support and to be and to serve other people. And, you know, so, but what we do on a daily basis and I'm maybe 50% better at it now is at once, once five o'clock hits, I'm not responding to anything until my kids go to bed. Good for you. Yeah. It's awesome. 50% better, Ty. I'm not telling you that I'm, well, I'll still look at me. Dude, you're doing it. I'm like, what do you want me to do? It's John. He needs me. Dude, it's Ty. Like, we're doing this thing here. It's my guy. It's like,

but that's the drive. And that is the, that's also a scarcity mentality. I want to call myself out on it because that, unless something is burning down, that could literally wait two and a half hours. That's right. You know, so, you know, it's, it's amazing. I just, I love having these types of conversations because, again, like I said, it helps me grow. And it helps me be more aware of like, hey, there's more people out there like me that

struggle with this. Yeah. What you said too, man, I literally just got. kind of chills off the scarcity mindset. My wife and I were just talking about this, man, three or four nights ago where I kind of had this self-awareness that, you know, I'm running these retreats now. But when I get back from a retreat, man, if I'm very honest, I need a day or two. But like last time I got home, you know, it's seven, eight guys. I'm pouring into him for four days. We're pushing our body. My guys called the death march. We did an 11.5 mile march in

107 degree heat. And then we worked out that night. You know, like, we did that right in the middle of 75 hard. Yeah, it was brutal, man. So I got back and I, you know, I wasn't probably the most present best dad for a couple days. You know, now I make good money on these retreats. It's a big part of my business, things like that. But, you know, I was talking to my wife about it and I was saying, well, I feel like I need to do like five or six retreats a year because who knows if Twitter or who knows if all this stuff. And I called and she kind of said exactly what you just said is do you not, number one, trust God to provide, you know, that that's just such a scarcity thinking, you know. And so I just kind of eliminated one.

I fired one off to a guy who I do him with and said, hey, man, I'm going to do four this year. I'm going to do one a quarter and I'm going to prepare and I'm actually going to fly my folks out for a couple so that they can watch the kids for a couple days when I get back. And I'm going to go into this with better systems so that, you know, I'm not letting the people that love me the most down. But that really hit home about that scarcity mindset of, you know, if I truly believe it's meant to be and I'm doing all the things I can write. Yeah. You know, the doors will open when they're supposed to open. I love it, man.

that's a great point. You know, it's almost like, hey, do I stay out there an extra day just to recover before I go home? You know, because, you know, because you run into a dangerous situation there is, you know, you pour into all these men and you help them in their lives. And all the while you're teaching them or, you know, coaching them to be present with their family. Then when you get back, you're not present with your family. And it's just like, wow. Like, wow, the shoes on the other foot now, right?

And it's, but like, what people have to understand is, you know, as coaches, we coach people because we have experience in what they are having problems in. We should, like a lot of times when I, when I do coaching calls, I did a group coaching call the other night. And this, this fitness company reached back out to me like, wow, that was amazing. Thank you so much. You were on fire. The passion was just insane.

I go, I said, well, you know, the best coaching calls is when you're coaching yourself. And they're like, what? I'm like, yeah, I'm like, I've been struggling lately. Like, that was therapeutic for me, you know? And, you know, I think that a lot of times when we're going through our programs and doing things, it's like it's also because that content relates and it sticks because we have that life experience with that, right? And that's where being authentic, I think is everything online.

I think you can tell the people, you know, usually pretty quickly, who's just tweeting in a platitude and trying to gain followers and who's actually sharing life. And, you know, I mean, I put a tweet out a couple days ago that just said, yeah, I was in a couple weeks of struggle, man, of a slump, what I would call a slump, you know. And it's so cool, though, to be able to have a real relationship with my clients and to tell them, yeah, man, I'm struggling right now, too. Here's the things, you know, today is a battle. Let's go at it together. And, you know, I think the thing I'm most proud of probably with a lot of my clients is day one, dude, I tell them, I'm not a guru. If you want somebody else, it's going to tell you they have all the answers,

I am not that guy. I'm trying to get better every single day. I still struggle. I still battle. I want to think that I sucked. When I look back every six months, I want to be like, well, what I was doing then, I've gotten way better at. Whether that's faith, fitness, finances, whatever it is, I always just want to be growing. And if we can get that same mindset for you, then that's a big W, right? But I'm not going to sit here and say, well, you've got to do this from a high and mighty seat because I make every mistake in the book too, right? I'm just, I'm waking up every day with that mindset to get better. Love it, dude. I mean, there's, I mean, man, we're, we got to land the plane here. I could sit here with you for hours on in. This could be a Joe Rogan style podcast.

You know, but I, I want, I want to give, um, the opportunity to my audience to best support you. So if you could, would you please allow them, um, the information so they could do that? Yeah, I appreciate that, man. You know, I've been on Twitter now for almost three years. We've got about 84,000-ish teammates on there. I don't call them followers. We're teammates, man. So come join me at Tyromper.

I'm posting more on Instagram now. I'm trying to be like my brother here, Sean, and grow on there too. I'm trying to be like him on Twitter. Trust me. But yeah, you know, I'm at Tyromper. And then putting up a lot of content on YouTube now, too, multiple videos a week. I'm sharing similar faith family kind of kind of stuff, mindset stuff over there.

And at Tyler Tope, just my name. So yeah, come support me on any of those platforms. I'd be super grateful. Shoot me a message always, man. I always get back to you. Maybe not in the same day if I'm taking a B day, but I'll always get back to you at some point. And I really appreciate everybody that's tuned in.

And I hope, you know, we are able to provide some valuable information for somebody listening out there. Oh, we definitely melted the microphones, bro. Don't you worry about that. This has been a very impactful and value-filled episode. For those that are you listening, don't worry, as you may have already noticed the links and everything he said right now is in the show notes. So just click it.

I'll actually link on his name to his website so you can go check out his content, his books, all the stuff he's got going on. I mean, I think you would truly benefit from pouring into my boy. So the most important question, in my opinion, is how can I best support you? Man, just the same way. I love the fact that we can text each other every now and then, that we can, you know, you fire me off in your Instagram story. I told you right before. If you ever got a tweet fired over to me, you know, let's let's, I'm just at this point, man, for me in my life, you know,

I'm a middle-aged guy, about to turn 39. I'm all about impact, right? And so people that have a similar mission, I feel like you and I have really a similar mission, man, you know, even talking to you before we hit record, you just want to help. You're like, dude, it fires me up to help a guy go from 80K in sales. Maybe he's just getting by and he works with me for six months and now he's doubled or tripled his income and his life and his family have changed and his mindset's changed. And, you know, to me, that's what fires me up more than anything, too, is, man, just seeing the light bulb turn on with a client or seeing somebody remove a couple bad negative habits that are holding them back and start to believe in themselves and see that vision for where

their life's going to go and walk into their destiny, man. There's nothing that fires me up more than that. So I just always want to, you know, anything I can ever do for you, brother, I'm always here. And I hope you know that's mutual. You could fly to Vegas. Our house right across the street is for sale. Your reload package. Your reload package is terrible, man.

You said you were going to pay me. We were having this competition for those you that are listening during the literal hurricane. I was evacuated in Miami and he's telling me that I could move to Las Vegas that his neighbor has their house for sale. I'm like, what's your reload package? Well, first he started with all pay. It's a tough sell to my wife. You know, my buddy, Sean, he's going to have to pay him 50 grand. We're going to have to pay him 50 grand. I don't know.

That's a tough. We're Twitter friends. On the bird app. It's cool. Oh, okay, honey. Give the guy 50 grand to relocate. But no, I do see myself, you know, figuring out a way to get out to you at some point. Or hopefully, you know, you coming out here at some point, too.

And, you know, us having some time together. I don't think God would allow us to be living in the same. state much less the same neighborhood. Pretty wild, man. We'd be really messed up for those neighbors. We would get kicked out. But look, guys, if you got anything out of this episode, I should have said this in the beginning,

but please share it out. If you are not already following the show, please hit subscribe, you know, leave a review, leave a rating. I want to hear from you. And when you share this to your social platforms, tag me and tag my boy tie. I'll definitely share it back to my socials.

All this being said, guys, I just appreciate you listening and taking the time to really hear a high-level conversation with somebody that I respect and love a great deal. So until next time, guys, you guys be real, be determined, and go after your dreams.

Do not go to bed tonight without taking action on something.