Determined Society with Shawn French | Adversity & Mindset - Redefining Success: Embracing Self-Assurance over External Validation - Sergio Nazzaro

Episode Date: November 20, 2023

Does this sound familiar? Are you constantly seeking external validation to feel good about yourself? You've been told that relying on others' opinions will boost your self-confidence, but deep down, you know it's not working. The pain of feeling inadequate when validation is scarce is eating away at your self-worth. It's time to break free from this cycle and discover the true path to self-assurance. My special guest is Sergio Nazzaro Sergio Nazzaro, a highly experienced performance coach, joins us on this episode of The Determined Society. With over ten years of expertise in his field, Sergio has garnered a reputation for his profound insights and transformative coaching methods. His personal journey is equally remarkable, as he overcame challenges such as PTSD, a failing marriage, and even a heart attack, to build a thriving seven-figure business. Sergio's commitment to authenticity and truth-telling sets him apart, as he encourages individuals to break free from the trap of seeking external validation and instead cultivate self-assurance from within. Through his unwavering dedication and genuine approach, Sergio has become a true inspiration to men seeking personal growth and empowerment. Join us as we delve into a thought-provoking discussion on the importance of self-assurance and the pitfalls of relying on external validation. Prepare to be inspired and empowered by Sergio's wisdom and insights.   In this episode, you will be able to: Boost your self-confidence and embrace your unique beauty by learning about body dysmorphia and self-love. Take a transformative step towards personal growth by overcoming self-hatred and cultivating self-acceptance. Discover how your self-perception can have a significant impact on your relationships and learn strategies for building healthier connections. Unlock the power of self-acceptance and self-love to create a more fulfilling and joyful life. Explore the difference between seeking external validation and finding true self-assurance, and discover the benefits of relying on your own opinions and beliefs. Boost self-confidence and embrace uniqueness. Embracing one's uniqueness and boosting self-confidence is a crucial aspect discussed in the episode. Rather than seeking validation from external sources, individuals would be better off focusing on their distinct qualities that make them stand apart. Enhancing one's self-belief not only fosters personal growth but also diminishes the need for external validation, which aligns with the episode's theme of seeking self-assurance versus external validation. Purchase my book on Kindle- Unstoppable- https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CNLD1VF3 Connect with Sergio: Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/sergio.nazzaro/ Website- https://becomethestandard.live/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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Sean. dot French at the Determinedsociety.com. for more information. See you inside. What's going on, everybody? Welcome back to another episode of The Determined Society. Let me remind you,

if it's the first time you've ever listened to the show, hit pause right now, go follow the show, and put on your seatbelt because we have an amazing fucking guest today. I have with me my boy, Sergio Nazaro. He is a performance coach with over 10 years of experience.

Sergio's inspiring story on how he overcame PTSD, a failing marriage, and a heart attack to create a cessation. seven figure business. This dude's a badass. He holds it down with his wife, Lizzie, one child and another one on the way. This dude is a true inspiration to men. He and I go back and forth a lot on Instagram. And it's just always really cool to see somebody who is real and doesn't give a shit about what other people feel or think about him. And he puts it out there. So I respect him. Sergio, welcome to the show. Dude, thank you for having me. Like, I feel like I know you so well.

and yet this is the first time we've actually got to sit down and have a fucking conversation. So I'm stoked. It's weird, dude, right? Because, like, we, we had a show before. And I had to cancel. Then we didn't get back on the books until now. But it's funny that you mentioned it because I, you know, you turn on the camera today. And it's like, I've seen you like a billion times that we've had these conversations.

I think it's like we do have very parallel energy. Like, you know, we are, you know, we hit people right between the eyes with what we're saying. and it offends a lot of people. But you know what? So what? As long as it gets them to move in their life, right? 100%. I look at it.

It's like, hey, man, I'm just here to wake people up. And at some point, it's going to be a little bit polarizing. And that's okay because my intent is pure with what I'm trying to do. No, it's true. You know, you talk about, you know, the, you know, polarizing, the view, right? I mean, like, people just, they need that sometimes. Like, I need it. Like, there's been times where I've watched some of your stuff.

It's come across. I'm like, oh, shit. Like, man. that hit me right there that hit me like i need to do more right now i need to get out of my own way because what i'm struggling with right now and i'm you know we've had this conversation we'll get to it but i never lie on my show i never lie on social media what it is is what it is right i always tell people where i'm at i don't really worry about if they're going to look about look at me like less than because i'm being honest dude i'm struggling with the gym right now man i had this injury and i just i continue

you to like go on a Sunday and a Monday and then I'm out right so let's talk about you know to start like how important that is in your life dude because you know I truly believe fitness is the gateway to a lot of other shit in your life yeah to make it better so why don't you walk the audience through your routine and why it's important to you yeah man I think before we hop into that just your injury like where is it what is it because that's kind of telling yeah dude so I had um I had an Achilles injury. Okay. And then recently my right shoulder's all jacked up.

I got three tears in it. Yeah. So, you know, I have a subscap tear, a super splenatus tear, and a suspected labrum tear. Yeah. So the labrum will put me out. So yeah, dude, like when things like that happen to me, like I just go into the shitter. Yeah. I don't make good choices because it just, I want to do shit right.

And if I can't do anything right and I can't lift heavy, then I'm just embarrassed to be even in there. Yeah. I think, you know, from my routine, right, that's kind of like come back to this question. Then we'll kind of wrap it around to the shoulder thing. For the longest time, I would put my body through the ringer. I mean, for 12 years, I was doing CrossFit. I competed at regionals a few times. Like, I was in it.

I was in the thick of it. And I knew my outer limits. Like, I could disconnect my brain from my body and just fucking push through the pain. And I think a lot of that came from some insecurities. Like, as a kid, I got bullied a lot. And so I got into lifting weights around 12, 13 years old, simply because, like, I was, was tired of being fucked with. And that's kind of, I've carried that chip on my shoulder for so long till I got to the spot where I was pushing so hard and I had these underlying deep securities

that I was carrying with me that eventually my body started to break down and I ignored it. And, you know, first it was my heart, then it was my shoulder. Most recently it was my elbow that it got hyper extended from doing some. I saw that. Yeah, doing some stupid shit. I hired a coach. I have two coaches. one of my one coach's name's Tim Adams and he's he is magical in the way he works but one of the things he continues to ask me is hey have you looked at the spiritual meaning behind what your injury represents and I was like no oh shit and so I looked into my shoulder pain and I looked into my elbow pain and the elbow was a big one he's like where do you feel like you're going backwards in your life which to me hit me right in between the fucking not like eyes I'm going from a

seven-figure real estate business to a brand new coaching business. I'm taking a step back. I was top dog and now I'm at the bottom of it. And so yeah, I'm in the gym wanting to work out because it's really important to me and it has a massive impact on the way I show up in my business. But the same thing that you're going through, these injuries continue to pop up and it's my body trying to tell me something. That's why I asked. Dude, enlighten me. This has got me geeking out, right? I'm excited. What does the shoulder mean? Dude, I think so I know the left shoulder, the last time I checked was like your ability to receive because that's your feminine energy, right? So I have a tough time receiving energy and being able to do or receiving anything, being able to do anything with other people. So I don't ask for help. Mine is the right. Mine's the right. Yeah. Dude, we're going to have to do like a Google search. Small dick. Yeah. Yeah. I think it means you have a small dick. Last time I checked. Exactly. Yeah. This one's not going to be for a, I should do it pretty. like a warning on the show notes.

This one has extreme language. I started to clean it up for a little while because I heard people were saying, like I would really love to listen to his show, but he's too nasty sometimes. And, you know, I want kids to be able to listen to me because of what I do with, you know,

the athlete. So, but this show, they're just going to have to deal with our foul mouths. So yeah, I'm interested in this, man. Yeah.

I'm wondering what my body's trying to tell me. Yeah. So I would spend some time looking at like, what does the right shoulder represent? look into it, see if that kind of starts to align with any of the other problems that you're having. I know that when my wife and I were struggling, I had back problems and back problems and ankle problems, I believe, represent like you're, do you feel like you're being supported? And I wasn't. I didn't feel like I was being supported at all in my marriage.

And it wasn't her fault is the fact that I was showing up kind of like a shell of a man. And so it forced me to look into my marriage and in resolving some of this pain and frustration. because your body is going to store these emotions in certain spots. In resolving that, it opened up a lot in me that I was able to then, you know, get back into the gym and be more thoughtful about what I'm doing and realize that my marriage impacts my body. So there's a, it's a, there's some like, I believe in this stuff. Even though sometimes it sounds like, you know, do lay off the LSD, it's more so like,

hey, I think something's actually going on. I get it, man. It's funny because like your body's always going to tell you a story, right? So for me, I've been really tired lately. like my eyes hurt I feel like I have a constant like dull headache I'm like wow so I'm going to research this if you have a link

you know shoot me a text or something like if whatever I can go to look at it so I don't go down the wrong rabbit hole and it says I have cancer or something WebMD I don't want to go yeah I'm not going to fucking WebMD dude oh my God but dude you've had some health scares in your life man you you had a heart attack yeah dude I uh it came on the back of

I was I was just became an entrepreneur and I don't even say an entrepreneur dude I was just in sales I was selling homes I thought I was an entrepreneur I was just in sales um and I was trying to build this business you know not sure what it was going to look like and then me and my wife or my fiance at the time we were fighting nonstop to the point where we called off our wedding and we had to get a couples therapy it was a disaster man and like it was just stress after stress after stress and I found myself in the hospital um doing a stress test because I was having these chest pains for over a year. And it was like debilitating. I had to like lay down in the bed for an hour or two. And then I would get back up and just get back into work. You know? And my wife is like, hey, you need to go get a test. And so I went in and did it.

And I'm on the stress test doing my thing. And I'm at the VA. And they're like, this is the, this is one of the longest stress tests we've seen. I was like, well, what's the longest? I want to beat the record, obviously. And I'm sitting there. Of course. And yeah, nothing happens.

So I'm walking to my car. And I'm supposed to leave for me. Mexico the next day with my real estate brokerage as like a, you know, like a presidents club thing. Well, yeah, yeah, walk into the car, heart attack symptoms are induced. I'm like, fuck, all right. So I go back into the hospital. They pull some blood and they, they basically admit me to the, to the ER. And I was having a heart attack. And so they went in. They did an angiogram on my, you know, my artery, found out that my widow maker is like 60% clogged. And, and, And doesn't run in my family.

Nothing happens. When they took the thing out for the angiogram, I almost bled out. They actually had to hold me down on the table to stop my wrist from bleeding out. So there's like these two things going on. So I come out of this surgery. I'm in the hospital, right? And like I'm in recovery. Finally come to, it's probably like, you know, a few hours later.

And then the cardiologist comes in. And somehow I convince them to let me out. And I get on the flight the next day and head to Mexico. Wow. That's smart. Yeah, I mean, just super. Did you have fun in Mexico? I had a great time. I showed up. I didn't realize I had hospital tape on me.

People, it looked like what I imagined when Jesus was resurrected and everybody was like, yo, what the fuck? Like I walked out and I was just like ripping shots and people are like, are you okay? I'm like, I'm here. Are you going to die this weekend? Yeah. I'm here. It was one of those things though, like in all honesty. It was like, I, it's one of those moments where I have to prove to myself that this isn't going to stop me. And I think it was a little too fast.

And I didn't want to deal with it. But, you know, it is what it is. I'm alive. So were you suppressing, like, certain emotions during that time? Like, and then when you got back from Mexico, did it start to become a little bit more real? I think what I was suppressing was my inability to communicate with my spouse. You know, I felt like I was walking on eggshells. I felt like it was a moment where my, where my heart was like, you know, man, we're not doing what we're supposed to be doing right now.

Like this is great that you're crushing real estate, but I think it was my first sign that I wasn't following what I was supposed to do. And I wasn't having fun in life at all. It was just, I was one-dimensional douchebag. I was just focused on making money because I'd never made money before. I had done it my first year. My second year, I was like, dude, if I can make more, this would be great. I think that's the first experience when you start to have that type of success. And so I think it was one of those moments when I got back, I hired a coach and we started to explore these things.

things and work on some deeper, deeper issues. How long ago was this, man? 20, give me a sec, probably 2018, 2019. Okay, so not too long ago, right? No, about five years ago. Yeah. Five years. And how long, now, when did you stop doing real estate and when did you start your

coaching business full time? So I'm in that transition right now. Right. You're in the transition. Yeah. So I've been doing real estate all year. I've been building this coaching company. I haven't made the jump yet because, you know, similar like what we talked about financially

is just not there yet. But at some point, I got to go all in on coaching. So I've been running two businesses this year. And, you know, I'm paying the price right now. Ro, it's crazy you say that because, you know, and for the audience listening, like this is what you're about to hear probably the next five to 10 minutes out of Sergio myself is going to tell you so much about this business and what it really looks like. All right.

And so that you guys can deduce when you're being. being bullshitted by somebody else that says you can walk out of your corporate job and become an entrepreneur because you flip that tab on your Instagram and you're going to make, you know, six, seven figures right away. It's not the way it is, right? He's a very successful man for, you know, he's a veteran, you know, killed it in real estate, seven figure business, and he's still not comfortable yet in switching over. And, and the reason is, is because he wants to do what's right by his wife and his children. If it were just him, I can tell you right now, he'd be fucking gone, but gone.

Like, same with me. I would not be in corporate America right now. But it's important because, you know, you said, like, financially, it's just not there right now. Do you know how many people out there on the internet that are lying about that very, very thing that you were just honest in front of thousands of people on? Dude, people try to still get me on it. Like, you know, I get bombarded with these ads being like, you could become a coach and make seven figures in your first year. And you're right. there's a possibility that that could happen, right?

Yeah. I also know that making my first $100,000 was fucking ridiculously hard. And that thing is, it's like this massive identity shift because as a 9 to 5 employee, even if you're, you know, you have like an entrepreneurial position in your job or your sales and you're running your own shit, the moment that that security is gone, you are faced to, you're faced with the music. It's like whatever you hunt, you kill it. There's no systems.

There's no backup. You've burnt the boats. Get ready because like it's going to be the biggest mental endurance race too. Because I walked out of real estate top dog, top 1% of 1% in the country. Yeah. Now I'm a nobody again. And I'm like, fuck, dude. And I mean, the self doubt and insecurity and crying and like all of it this week.

I'm just like, fuck, dude. What are we doing? I it's so funny that you post that the other day. I literally broke down on my car that day. It is, it is so hard to be an entrepreneur, right? And then trying to build your own business,

you know, while you're in like you said, that entrepreneurial space with your W-2 job as a salesperson or whatever. Like, dude, it feels lonely as hell, man. It's hard, dude.

And I can tell you, you talk about that first six figures that you make. I mean, I'm approaching it too, you know, and I've done it quietly. and very, you know, I would say enthusiastically, but also very insecure, very scared. And, you know, a lot of people wouldn't look at you or look at me and say like, wow, these guys are scared.

They're sad. They are, they are lonely. And dude, this is a fucking lonely space, man. With all the stuff going on with, you know, people paying for engagement, paying for likes, paying for the comments. I can look at your page right now and I can look at my page and you can see that it's real. Yeah. We don't do that. There's there's post that there's there's you put some shit out there, dude,

that I'm thinking like how does this not have over like 3,000 likes and like a million views? I'm not bullshitting you. I appreciate that. Your videos are fucking incredible and we're going to talk about that offline fucker because I don't know how you do these videos and I need to switch mine up and I like your style. So but but dude like some like a look, you know, two to three days later. And you have a handful of likes. And just so do why. It's just like,

but we're not out there paying for it. Guys, you guys listening need to understand that you need to start following and engaging with people that aren't trying to fucking pull the wool over your eyes. Yeah. I mean, all these big people that these people like, they,

you know, what, 75,000 likes in 10 comments? Yeah. It doesn't make sense. Come on. It doesn't make any sense. No.

And like, I'm so, you know, there's a point there where I was like, dude, maybe I should just like buy the clout for a second so I could like, you know, look cool. And then in my head, I was like, but that's going to dilute everything that you're trying to do. Like if you're going, if your foundational principle, Sergio is to stop lying and tell the fucking truth. And then you're going to go out and, you know, make it appear different.

Well, then that's not the game. Because the reality is, right? Like, I'm not a big dog yet. Could I be sure. Is it going to happen? There's no guarantee. But what I will say is that. I will not, I will, the good and the bad you're going to get it all.

And for some people, it's so curated. It's so plastic. It's so fake that their information is great. But just knowing that they did that, to me, it takes them down a few notches. You know, it's funny. I'm like listening to what you're saying is like, you know, can I be a big dog? Sure. Will I be?

I don't know. It's not guaranteed. It's not guaranteed that either one of us will, but I can tell you what, we will be. Right. Like we're that, we're that those newcomers, right? And in 10 years, we may be sooner. But I'm looking at it as in decades now because I'm just so tired of getting excited about one little thing and then being let down. How many times in your early journey as a coach have you gotten so excited?

You know, you have all these, you know, prospects that you've spoken to, you know, and you know they're going to hire you, you know. And you look at Lizzie, you go, baby, if even three out of these five hit, that's like a 25. thousand dollar month and then none of the motherfuckers yep and then you go back to then you go back to what's wrong with me yes yeah because it's got to you yeah right i mean i hear you it's like maybe i'm just not as good as x y z person that's you know seems to launch something and then a thousand people just want to buy it yeah and you know i i was telling this story the other day I had an opportunity to go back and speak at, you know, my brokerage at some of their business planning meetings. And one of the things that's going on in the real estate market in a few different markets right now is just like the dynamic shifting.

And, you know, real estate agents are feeling the pressure. Mortgage lenders are feeling the pressure just because of what's going on. And I told them, hey, listen, I came into real estate in 2017, and I had immediate success, right? I'm talking why it's seven months of no sales. And then it was like I won rookie of the year. And then within 24 months, I'd made my first million dollars. Right. And so it's insane.

It's insane, right? But what they didn't see is that from 2002 to 2007, I was in the Air Force Academy, getting my dick kicked in and learning how to time management. From 2007 to 2013, I was learning leadership and how to be an officer in the Air Force and how to project manage. in 2000 end of 2013 they didn't see me struggling with PTSD and alcohol abuse and addiction and going through therapy and then starting my own personal growth pattern they didn't see any of that all they saw was this polished product that walked into one of the hottest markets of all time believed in

himself and realized at the moment that I'm not selling homes I'm actually selling myself as the process as the guide that's why it took off and they just saw the immediate success so with what we're saying it's like yeah there's a little bit of a gestational period here for us to grow yeah you know it's funny brother because i'm sitting here and and i went from working with athletes to telling myself a story that i couldn't work with them because there's no money there and then i switched to entrepreneurs i'm like and then i realize none of this is hitting like none of this is working like i'm getting clients here and there i'm making money but not the type of money that i want to make doing this right because I want to be done with corporate America at some point.

And when I made that move back to athletes, it's almost like the world was like, oh my God, thank you, Sean. And then I launched the athlete community. I have 15 athletes in there, but I'm not marketing it yet. Like on my story school, have I done an ad? No. Do I have a system in place? No.

Do I have a funnel? No. I don't have any of that in place. And so to me, it tells me something. Then I met someone through one of my friends, they helped me out with this. And they reach out to people on LinkedIn. We're building out the athlete community. Hey, got a guy that wants to talk to possibly has an athlete for us.

Is SEC baseball player, dude? Signed, you know, one-on-one client. Every month, recurring revenue. An amazing kid. He's going to be a draft pick, right? And then I just get, you know, thrown a second rounder. you know, a 66 pick overall signed for almost a million dollars. It's funny how the gestational period just even feels better when it's something that you love.

Yeah. And it's something that the public, though, sees in you. And to my point is to piggyback off what you're saying, it's like, now I'm selling me, not a program. Right. I'm selling my freaking story because I've been through it at the highest level of baseball in college at LSU. I've failed there.

So I can talk to them about that. And it does pull on some heartstrings. Yeah, I think there's myself, man. Yeah. And the way that, you know, I've thought about this is there's people to my left. And those are the ones that I can look back and be like, dude, I've been through what you've been through. I know what it's like to thrive in your business and struggle in your marriage. That's my clientele.

It's men that are going through that in sales. We'll talk about that in a second. And then there's guys to my right that I look up to. Those are my coaches. Those are my mentors. And the more experiences I get, the more. the more of a gap there is in the left-hand side because more things open up that I can speak to because I've gone through it.

So right now it's this amount and eventually it'll be larger and larger and larger. Well, let's talk about that, man. I want to lead the audience down that path. So that way, if there's a ton of men that listen, that they are struggling with their wives, that they know where to go, right? So if, you know, once you start working with a man that is struggling in their marriage, they're doing well financially, maybe, but they're just struggled. communicating with their wives. Like what's what type of what's your what's your coaching process like and

how do you walk them through it? Yeah. So there's four domains that we work in. There's your body, your health and your fitness, your being, which is your spiritual connection and your connection with yourself, your relationships, your marriage and your kids, and then your business. We've got to look at all four of those to kind of figure out where we are at. Most, most individuals are good in one domain. Like they're crushing it in their business. Maybe they got some fitness going on to. very few have it in all four and so when people come in my first question is well what do you want in your marriage most men can't even explain that dude i just want to get divorced i mean i don't fucking know like i want to have more sex with my wife it's like okay so we get them to start to

think about that but i know that they have no idea so then i really kind of go into well tell me what's going on and we start to uncover the pain of what's going on in their marriage you know do They feel like they're constantly fighting. I ask them how their marriage is impacting their business. I was like, you know, it seems like you're doing well. Do you feel like you're getting held back by your marriage? Like what happens if nothing changes in your marriage? What does the impact to your children?

To your health? And so once we can start to see like this full, like this full court picture of what's going on from all different angles, then we can start to build out like, okay, well, what do you actually want now? And we build out each domain because I am. know that if we work in their health and fitness, which creates discipline, consistency, and commitment. And they bring those three things into their marriage where they're disciplined and they do what they say they're going to do without having their wife tell them. They're certain with who they are and they're consistent with what they do. Their wives now look at them as like the

men who can lead the family. That's, that's true, man. That's an important thing because there's a lot of dudes that when they, they don't know what they want of their marriage. The first thing that they're going to say is either they just want to end it or they want to have more. sex. Yeah. But what does that really mean? What does that really mean? It means they don't feel that they're being heard and they want more intimacy.

They want to feel closer to their wives, right? And again, like, how do you get closer to your wife? Like, how do you fix some of the things? Well, a lot of the times you can fix your marriage. You can fix anything if you fix your fucking self, right? And I'm not saying out there you're broken, but, you know, like you said, the four pillars. Very few people have four. I don't have four.

I don't have four. I mean, come on. Let's be honest. You know, my marriage is great, right? you know my my relationship with my my physical self right now is not good relationship with my kids is amazing and my business is starting to peak but what if what if I dialed back into the gym right because it's a decision for all those people psychoanalyzing me right now like surgery already knows what I'm going to say this is on me like I know it like I know it I am perfectly fine

with saying that I am messing up right now. I'm focusing in a lot of different other areas, and I'm using that as an excuse to justify that I'm not going into the gym. Why do you more sleep? I'm tired. So this is on me. But imagine what my business would look like.

Imagine how much greater my relationship would be in my wife. Imagine how much greater my relationship would be with my kids. It's like we don't need to overcomplicate this shit. And, and surgery, you said something earlier, They're like you went through a time where you're just punishing your body. It doesn't need to be that way. Nope. It needs to be you just keeping your word with yourself.

So for someone who's really out of shape coming to you, how do you get them started to get even wanting to walk in those doors at the gym? Because that shit's scary for someone who doesn't go, right? Yeah, it is scary. I mean, it can be terrifying. I'm scared to go back. Yeah. A lot of it's like, okay, well, let's figure out where you're at right now.

okay like what's your background what do you have like what are the skills that you have and we just start there a lot of times we have to go get some basic you know information get like a dexas again get some blood work done and so that they can get the information that they mean like i'm not equipped to read that type of stuff but what i do know is that once they can see visually where they're at well then now we can start to create a plan from there and i have resources that i bring in i have a nutritionist i bring in i have a fitness coach that i bring in because that's their specialty and I want to work directly with them. My part is to help them understand that once we get clear on what we want, then we have to make an emotional tie to why we want it. For most men, just going into the gym to get in shape, like you're like, dude, I don't like whatever. It doesn't matter. But when I can say, okay, well, what happens if you continue to eat the way you're eating

and working out the way you want to work out? I was like, how's your marriage going to look like in five years? Like, do you want to fuck you with the way you? the way you look right now. Most men would say no. No, right? And so I was like, you know what happens if you start to work out and you start to lead your family that way?

Your wife is going to have a lot of resistance at first if she is, if she's not in shape. And then she's going to continue to have resistance until she starts to go in and she starts to work out because she wants to keep up with you. So we have to create that emotional tie there. And so for most men who have been out of the gym for a long time, it's, we have to find something that you enjoy doing. You could just be walking. It could be skiing.

It could be hiking, whatever it is, an activity that you enjoy. Let's just get some consistency, right? Maybe three days a week. And then we can start to add because I can't take you from zero to a thousand. I just got to get some little wins for you first. That's a great point. That's why I asked you that question because a lot of times people, when they're starting something new, they go from zero to a thousand and then they get burnt out really quickly.

I'm that guy, right? But I mean, I am starting from a baseline. And again, this has only been going on for like a month or two. Like I, you know, of me kind of just being very inconsistent. But, you know, if you have somebody that's never ran before, you're not going to tell them, hey, I need you to go run two miles. You're probably going to start with walking. Get them really good at walking. And then you're going to go, okay, let's pressure test this a little bit.

Let's put a weight vest on when you walk. Okay, but now two weeks from now, you're going to run a mile. And it's going to suck. But that's all you're going to do is you're going to run a mile and you're going to feel better. Yeah. We don't have to complicate it. We can make it very simple, right? Yeah.

Instead of drinking six sodas, let's drink four. Yeah. Like, these aren't massive changes, but four sodas down to three sodas, down to two sodas. It's going to have a massive impact on your weight over the course of two months. Or five pieces of pizza to two pieces of pizza. 100%. I mean, pizza is tough to give up, man. I'm sorry.

Dude, as an Italian dude, I love pizza. I love it. That's like a Friday night in my house. It's a pizza. You know, your hands is tough. hanging out with a fam. It's pizza. We had pizza last. Yeah, that was good. Nice. I love it. We try. What kind of pizza did you have? We go to Mellow Mushroom. Oh, that place is delicious.

Place is dope. The place is dope. We used to go back there. I probably shouldn't talk about this on the air. But, you know, at the end of every homestand in Louisiana out there in Baton Rouge, they had one there in the college town. And that would be the place we went on Sunday nights after we just swept somebody and has made them look silly. They're on the plane home. It was a bus back then because it was after 9-11. So no one was flying except a long we flew to College World Series. We flew

to Long Beach that year but we drove everywhere else. Like buses eight, you know, 18-hour trips. Like we had like little cocoons in there. Anyway, I'm going off of the tangent. But Bellumusha place was jumping, dude. I mean, if I

if I'd have to tell you off air about the type of shit that happened in that place, you're like, oh, that happened at a restaurant. So I'm just like, yeah, it actually did. Dude, I played hockey. I can play, I played hockey. I know what's up to you. Oh, yeah, you know, yeah. It was, it was nuts, dude. They would close that place like around 10 and we'd be there until three. They would let us stay. It was nuts, man. It was crazy. It was crazy. That's funny. But yes, that's the kind of pizza we had. And we try to, we try not to buy a ton so we don't have leftovers. Yeah. You know? Because if there's

leftovers in the house, like, sorry. Like, that's just one thing that I can't lay off of. There. Can't lay off the pizza, dude. That's my vice. My vice, man. Yeah. I can't believe we've been talking already for a half an hour. Dude, it doesn't feel like it at all.

Dude, I feel like you just logged on. I know, I know. God Almighty. Dude, you got another kid coming, man. Dude, yeah. I think that's, you know, that's an interesting piece that I've been running through my mind recently, right? So we've got another kid coming in March.

My wife's a stay-at-home mom. And we've been exploring a lot of stuff recently in our marriage. You know, her and I went, toe to toe for a few months there. We were struggling again and, you know, pregnant women. This is not going to go for a while with you, but you don't make a lot of sense sometimes. And I've realized that. Do they have to be pregnant to not make sense?

I don't understand women a lot of times. Like, that's why I fuck it up so bad. Right? I try so hard and I love her so much. But, you know, we're going toe to toe about this and we're trying to figure out, well, you know, what needs to change. And what came out of this is like, you know, she's a lot. afraid that when the second one comes, she's going to be so overwhelmed with the things that she already has to do and me trying to grow this business. And I was like, oh, dude, let's just talk about

it. Let's adjust our tasks list on like, who's responsible for what? I can take on some more, right? If that's going to alleviate some of the stuff for you, because I have a little bit of extra capacity right now. And so bringing number two on, like, I don't know even know what to expect, but what I do know is that we are working through our stuff in our marriage right now to figure out how to prep for it. How many do you have? Do you have two kids? I have three, dude. What advice do you got for me going from one to two? Well, okay. So one to two seems like a nightmare at the time. Yeah. But I can tell you from two to three is an absolute shit show. It's a clown. There's clown shoes. There's a circus.

There's an elephant. It's just the craziest thing ever. How old your daughter, right? No. We're going to have two boys. The son. You have two boys. Well, we're going to have two boys. Wait, so you have one boy. You're going to have two boys. Okay. Okay. How old your boy? He's 18 months. They'll be 23 months apart. Oh, dude. So you've got it bad. Okay. So here's what's going to happen. Your son now. So your son now. Yeah. Again, he's, did he sleep well when, you know, or was it, did it take time to crib train him?

Yeah. Okay. Okay. So here's what's going to happen. For I want to, I want to give you a little bit of peace of mind. your second's going to sleep. Good. It's going to be calm. He's going to sleep. Okay. But your oldest, when the baby's born, he's going to love his brother,

but he's going to regress, and he's going to act like the baby. Interesting. He's going to cry. You know, like, pick me up, do this. He's going to want to be the baby now. Yeah. Because he's going to get a little bit of jealous.

But, but you know what, bro, it's beautiful. You know, you still have man. average. You're good there. What's hard is, what's really hard is when you have a third because then you have one in kindergarten doing homework, you have the baby that needs to be fed. And then your middle child's like, what about me? Dick bags? I'm going to go break something. I mean, and, and so that was hard. But it's a lot of fun, dude. It's a lot of fun. And they're close enough to where you're going to get to see them grow in the relationship, which is pretty damn cool. But yeah, no, dude, it's going to be hard. Yeah. I mean, listen, I'm stoked. I think there's some,

there's some nervous energy around how do I continue to grow this business and support my family while this happens. And here's what I know is that like, I feel like, you know, I've recently just kind of reconnected with God. Like, I don't give a shit what you believe in. But for me, like, I was braced Catholic, hated the Catholic church. And so now I've still believed in God. And so like, I've been really tapping into this recently, like a spiritual, you know, universal connection. And there's just this calm presence of knowing that like this is the pressure and the focus that I need. So in a lot of ways, I'm nervous. In a lot of ways, I'm just like, dude, this is, this is what is required for me to have that backwards pressure that I need to

continue to push me, if that makes sense. No, it makes sense to me because I've, I've seen enough from you. And I'm not worried about you. Like, you're going to be just fine. You're going to, you're going to grow. You're going to absolutely grow. And no pressure, no diamonds, bro. That's right. Right.

And I think, like pressure. And this is a good, this is a good point because you're going through something right now. And I'm feeling pressure in my own way. But like pressure is a blessing. Pressure is a gift. It is not something that we are experiencing because we're being punished.

Right. So this is the audience, like for the audience, I want them to realize that, you know, if you're going through something right now where you feel this amount of pressure and adversity. This is your gift because this is what is needed to pressure test you to get

to that next level of where you want to go. So look at it that way. Right. So, you know, in your, in your case, you know, having your second son come in and having that, you know, a little bit of nervous energy, but it's also going to propel you, I think, to be even more efficient than you already are to provide what you need to provide. I bet you your business grows, 50% at least. Yeah. What did they say pressure is a privilege? yeah yeah so it doesn't feel like it doesn't feel like it right no not at the time at all but like you overcome things right and that's that's why i love podcasting because it's like i'm having this great conversation with you and a lot of the things i'm saying is built on my own perspective

of what i'm going through right and it's really cool that way because i'm thinking wait a second like i need to get back in it man because this is this is my pressure test yeah and if i don't do it It means I'm giving up on my business. I'm giving up on my family. I'm giving up on my wife. And I think, and I don't know how you feel about this, but a lot of times I have to tie something catastrophic to me doing something. Like, okay, if I don't go to the gym, like, what if I get cancer and die?

Then my wife is a widow and my kids don't have a dad. You selfish bastard, get off your ass. I'm like that. I don't know about you, but I'm like that. Yeah, I think for a long time I was doing that, right? And I don't know if it was like these massive things, but I was doing it. I was building everything out of lack. Like I had to prove everybody else wrong.

So I would go to the gym so I could be, you know, be in the best shape out of everybody. So I could tell people that I outworked them that day, all of these things. I think that was the chip that I ran with. And that's a powerful energy to run with until, and this is just a recent realization, until I realized that I, in doing that, it is predicated on you getting external validation. from somebody else to say, hey, that voice that you've been using as the energy for you to create all these things that you're creating, I see it. But nobody's ever going to say it. And so you're constantly searching for it. The moment I switch to, I'm building this for me,

because this is just who the fuck I am. Now I can create from this place of abundance and I don't need any validation. Doesn't mean I don't seek it. I'm human, right? That's, I mean, look at social media. I checked that thing and be like, damn it. Didn't do what. But what I am saying is that like where I'm building now from, I'm trying to build from a place of like, hey, this is just decades. This is me doing it for me. Right. And I don't need anybody else to tell me like, hey, you're doing a good job. I already know I am. Absolutely. And you know, like, listen, man, that's, that's the thing. We all look at these vanity metrics because for anybody says, like, I'm not doing this for the likes. I don't really care. Well, then you wouldn't be on social me. You'd be at fucking B&I at your local restaurant on Tuesday mornings trying to get business.

You would not be on social media building it. You know, the other thing, it brings up a good point, actually. I think people are looking at this the wrong way. And I know I did at the very, very beginning. And when I started doing, just like I said before we hit recording with the record button, my buddy and I that I played ball against, I mean, ball with at LSU, he's an agent. Now we're teaming up. And he's referring players. I'm, you know, employing him, right, to do so. Like, that's a network. That's how you grow your business.

And what do you have? Because a lot of people that listen to my show are creators, right? They want to do something like this. What kind of advice would you tell them about that maybe even the traps of trying to grow your business online? Yeah. I mean, it's another mental game. You have to figure out, I think that one of the biggest things is you have to figure

out who you're speaking to. And that's a hard one. I think one of the conversations that we had, right, about sales, where we going back and forth because I was talking about medical device sales and real estate and I was lumping everybody together, which we can talk about here or offline because I'm always curious about that. That was the moment that I had made a pivot and I had come back and I was like, I'm focusing on people in sales who are struggling in their marriage.

And so that was the first time that I had let something out of my mouth about these types of individuals, us, us. And it didn't fucking land, man. I got to, you know, you hit me up and like, we're boys that you can talk to me like that. I got it from all angles, man. I was getting my fucking dick kicked in. And it was hard. And what came from that?

Well, what came from that is like, okay, my intent was okay. My messaging was off. Let me, let me polish this up a bit and get back in the arena. But that never would have happened if you hadn't chiseled away. and somebody else hasn't chiseled away. And like you guys were all giving me this feedback and then I had to process it. So for people who are trying to build, a lot of this is you have to be willing to take a shot. And it doesn't have to be perfect.

Dude, I'm going to tell you what. I've been shot at many times, right? Like at the very beginning, the way you're speaking, you're intimidating people. You need to back the fuck off. You know, you're saying fuck too much. Well, don't listen to this episode then. you know but like but but i mean yeah and when i and when i mess it when i wrote on for you it was more of like a second like wait a second like i felt comfortable i i'm never that guy

that goes to someone's post unless and and and gives my true opinion you know because like what do i have to gain from it right like i'm not going to sit there and get a pissing match with somebody but i was like no i like this guy a lot i'm like i'm going to push back on this motherfucker right now because I knew that energy in your video was so much different than anything else that you had put out. I'm like, okay, he's frustrated about his elbow maybe, but I don't know, but I'm going to be like, I'm going to hit him. I go, because I agree that medical device people, real estate agents, they're not entrepreneurs. I did not agree with middlemen. I thought that is where you missed. Yeah.

because it took to me being a middleman or something like that. I understood what you were saying. I'm like, this dude sold over a million dollars in real estate and he's taken powerful away from what the fuck he did. You know, and I'm like, yeah, no,

I don't like that. I liked what you were trying to say. Yeah. And it's okay that I disagree with you. 100%. Well, but that's, you better,

you better pipe up when I say something that you don't agree with. I will. But that's, you, Sean, that's not right. But that's the beauty of this, right? is like we are two things happened. One, I said some things that were extremely controversial that pissed a lot of fucking people off.

And it was incongruent with everything I had said. When I went back and rewatched, I was like, damn, dude, like, you think you could have been, you think you could have been putting people down anymore. Like this wasn't a Wii game. This was a, you were pointing fingers. Everybody else like, you're a fucking, you're a middleman. You're a pussy. And it's like, no, no, no, no, no.

I get it. what I was trying to say, the packaging was off. So that was one of the things. It's like, yeah, I'm speaking truth at the time, but it got misconstrued because I didn't deliver it well. You come back at me with truth. Instead of like trying to, you know, hey man, you might want to try it this way. You're like, nope, I'm going to come right at your fucking neck.

And I appreciated that because that's the way I kind of respond. I was like, oh, okay, like, damn, all right, got it. Let's go into this conversation. Now I'm getting phone calls. And I appreciated everybody who kind of like, came to that because the way I looked at is like, if you didn't give a shit about me, you never would have said anything.

100%. I mean, that's it. Like, that's it. Like, I don't spend my time, you know, giving that kind of feedback for someone I don't care about. You know, and I wish more people were like that, dude. And again, I, like, the last message you sent me was like,

you know, this is why I hate, you know, like social, media or texting. Like, Sean, if we were talking on the phone or on a podcast, you would find that we are in agreement. And I'm like, he's right. Because I knew your overall message. I said, like I said, I agree. They are not.

Realtors and medical device people are not entrepreneurs. Now, you can blur the line if you have a tax ID number, right? and you are, I guess, a independent rep for like a distributor. You're kind of building your own business, but it's still not your product. Right. Still not your product. Right. And you can have entrepreneurial tendencies and habits and practices, but you're not an entrepreneur.

And listen, if anything, that's okay because you can make a shit ton of money being the person in the middle selling shit. Yeah. Right. It's so funny because, like, it's so funny because me and, I don't know if you know this about me, but prior to medical business, I was in payroll. I sold HR and payroll for years, about seven years. And one of the accountants that I worked with that never referred me to business, like really cool dude out here in Cape Coral, Alex Evers, awesome guy.

He loves college football. We used to go back and forth because my LSU Tigers are always beaten up on his Florida Gators. And it happened again last weekend. And we happened to have lunch. this past week planned it that way so I could laugh at his ass but no so he's been trying to get me he's like man I really want to build my payroll department I really want to build my payroll apartment I need you you're the best I'm like brother well then how much you got like what are you gonna like what do you

got he's like no I want to give you 50 50 ownership I'm like oh so you want to build a business he's like yes I'm like so I signed off on the papers right so now not only my building this I'm building a payroll company. So I can sit there and say that's entrepreneurship. Yes. But, but let's go a step further. We're going to white label somebody else's software. So you're using, you see my point.

So like I get it. And it's like, okay, well, fine. Is it really entrepreneurship until we create our own software to run the payroll, to hold, you know, to float the money and push it out to the tax pay? you're splitting hairs there but like I can tell you I wish we had two million dollars right now to do the front of our own software

I don't want a white label somebody else's I want my shit right but but dude it was such a the audience is like what are they talking about but guys what we're talking about is respectfully disagreeing with somebody and you sons of guns in America over the last three years has forgotten

how to do that yeah you're soft you can respectfully oh my God it's crazy isn't it Yeah. It's nuts. It's like you can disagree with somebody and be respectful about it. And that's what we did. Yeah.

So what's your Instagram handle, by the way? Tell the audience. I'm going to put it in the show notes, but I want if, you know, like what? Yeah, dude. It's to be, what can they say? Yes. It's Sergio, S-E-R-G-I-O dot Nazaro. And is in November A-Z-Z-Z-A-R-O.

So, Sergio. And he's a handsome guy. He's a handsome. He's a beautiful man. He's a fucking beautiful guy. What else? Yeah, dude, become the standard.

Become the standard. That's right. Yeah, man. It's all about, listen, I believe that you can have it all in this life. You know, you're a dad,

your husband, your, you're in sales, like you're doing the whole thing. Like, I believe that no matter how old you are, you can be fucking jacked. You can be in good shape.

You can have a connection with yourself that you know yourself better than you ever have. And if you believe in God or whatever you believe in, like, you can tap into that power and have it guide you. Your marriage can be on fire. Your kids can call you a hero and you can make a shit ton of money all at the same time. That's what I'm after in this game.

Yeah, same. It's inspirational. And you said something, connection with yourself. Now, I want to blow the audience's mind here. So I want to ask you a question. Okay. Do you believe you should be working out and getting in great shape and leaned up because you hate your body? Or should you be working?

out, eating right, getting in unbelievable shape because you love yourself no matter what, which is going to create more impact in your life. If you love yourself, like hates it. That's it. Hate it's a tough thing to do, man. Yeah, see, see, that's funny because when I go to the gym, and again, vulnerable moment, it's because I hate something about myself. And so I never get to that point where I'm completely shredded.

I'll get, I'll get leaned up. I'll get down to like, you know, 19, 20%. and I'm like knocking on the door to get down to 15 and then I'll just self-sabotage because I'm coming from a place of hatred. And again, nobody else is going to sit there and tell you this. Guys, no one else is going to sit there and they tell you their exact issue.

They're going to say, I love myself. I never doubt myself. Oh, look at me. I have a million fake fucking followers. But, you know, it's, to me, I fall short because I don't come from a place of love. I can do it for a little bit. But then I'm like, oh, I hate this part about me.

I hate this little. edge corner right here. So I wanted to ask you that question because I had a feeling you were going to answer it the way you I guess my question to you is like, what's the biggest lie that you're telling yourself about your body? That I'm enormously fat. Okay. Like I'm in no, I'm like like you do like it's body dysmorphia.

I have that. I have that to. It runs really. Yeah. I mean, I think everybody does probably. Yeah. Yeah. So that storyline though, right, that you're over.

overweight and you're obese like if that stays your focus well then you're always going to operate out of hate towards your body you already know this i don't have to tell you this yeah there comes a point though where you know at least for me it was a shift when i realized like oh me going to the gym is actually a form of self-love me eating food that makes me feel good and look good as a form of self-love also me having a piece of pizza and crushing a beer, Madelo, because they're delicious, is a form of self-love, right? So, like, it's your ability to reframe it and see it from a different perspective. Because at the end of the day, you know, the way that we speak to ourselves is going to be the way that our children see it,

the way our wives sees it. It's the way we speak to other people. And even though we can put it on as sales professionals and chipper up and have the conversation, if that energy is out of alignment, Sometimes clients can feel that. Yeah. No, it's good, man. I'm glad you said that.

And you're right. You know, how you think about yourself and the things that you truly buy into on a moment-to-moment basis, that's how you're going to show up, right? So everybody's body and like finances or whatever is a physical representation on the perspective and how they view their finances and their bodies in themselves. So well said, man. This has been an amazing show. Did you go to get host?

amazing thank you brother yeah great guess i don't dude you know it's so funny people ask me what do you think you're really good at i'm like hosting a podcast it's pretty much it but no i mean i feel like i am better at a lot of other things but when someone compliments me man on my hosting abilities that that means the world to me again seeking outward you know um acceptance but it's my art dude it's my art right like you know just like i complimented you on your stuff. I love your content. Appreciate that. Even the post I hated I loved. I mean, straight up,

dude. Like straight up, bro. I still respect the art. That's fucking great. Oh, my gosh. So, dude, so the audience, how can they work with you, man? How could they hire my boy Sergio to

help them out? I think the first step is, just go follow me. You got to get a, you got to get a to see if I'm even the something that you want to eat on a regular basis, you know? I might be, I might be the last thing that you want in your life. But if you come in and you're like, it should probably be the thing that they should, you know. Yeah, yeah.

But if you come in and you watch long enough and all of a sudden you're like, hey, this, I like this. All you got to do is there's a link in my bio. Go click on that quick video for you to watch and an application. We'll take a look at it. If it makes sense, then we'll move forward. Love it. Love it.

You heard the man, go check him out on a social media handle, follow him along, click the link in his bio. You can get his Instagram link from the show notes, so don't worry, guys. But I want to thank you once again for tuning into another amazing episode with an absolutely incredible guest. And please, we want to hear what you think about this episode. So leave a nice written review. Hopefully it's a five star. But tell us what you loved about the show, what you got most from the conversation from

Sergio and myself and share this episode with your friends. You know, we have a couple of ads at the beginning of the show, but we don't break up the show right now to advertise other brands. But so our growth is depending on you guys sharing the message. So please share this episode with someone you love. And until next time, guys, be determined and do what you got to do to get to the next level in your life. We love you.

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