Determined Society with Shawn French | Adversity & Mindset - Relentlessly Pursue Your Goals with Erik Allen

Episode Date: November 14, 2022

Whether you want to start a business, learn a new skill, or just have more meaningful relationships in your life, you need to be relentless in your pursuit of whatever it is that you want. Improving your skills in any area of life requires staying consistent and even being willing to not be very good at first. As long as you know what you want and stay on the path to reaching your goals and finding your purpose, you will get there. Today’s guest is an incredible example of what it looks like to get off the path of destruction and pursue a life of meaning and purpose.   Erik Allen is a man of integrity, work ethic, and determination. He grew up with a complicated childhood and a broken home. Erik had to raise himself from the age of 14 and unfortunately, found trouble along the way. He was empty and tired of settling for less, and eventually he gave his life to Christ, leading to everything changing for him. He and his wife are committed to breaking the cycles of addictions, depression, abuse, and divorce by continuing to strive for improvement through honest and open communication, gratitude, and goal-setting. Today, Erik is an entrepreneur and host of the Erik Allen Show podcast where he highlights Entrepreneurs, World Changers, & Success Minded People. Erik helps entrepreneurs get known and noticed online and he has a message for you today.   In this episode, Erik shares his chill-inducing redemption story of being kicked out of his childhood home and the path of pain and self-destruction that led him on, and what eventually caused him to turn his life around. He also encourages others to continue to pursue their spouse and what it looks like for him and his wife to set an example of a healthy and loving relationship for their children in an effort to break the painful cycles they were both raised in. Erik offers inspiring words of advice to anyone wanting to pursue a big goal or improve in any area of life, and how to find a work-life balance as a parent on the pursuit of greatness. Tune in for more!   Key highlights: ● Erik’s redemption story ● How he met his life and decided to give his life to Christ ● Erik’s advice to couples to pursue their spouse every day and what it looks like to model a healthy relationship ● How Erik got started in the space and how he helps podcasters and entrepreneurs ● Why numbers don't matter as much as you think when it comes to podcast sponsorships ● Advice Erik received from Ed Mylett: “CANI” - Constant And Never-ending Improvement ● If you want to get good at something that you want to do, you have to be great at what you're doing  now ● Setting big goals: whatever you want to get better at, you need to submerge yourself in it, become obsessed, and be relentless in your pursuit ● Stacking wins and gratitude ● Dealing with guilt as a working parent ● Why you should share other people’s content online ● The importance of surrounding yourself with people that are living the life  you want to live   Quote from the episode: “My desire to be successful is bigger than my desire to sleep.”- Erik Allen   Connect with Erik Allen: Instagram: @erikgallen Facebook: Erik Allen Media Twitter: @ErikGAllen LinkedIn: Erik Allen YouTube: Erik Allen Media Podcast: The Erik Allen Show   Connect with Shawn French: Instagram: @theshawnfrench Website: theshawnfrench.com Facebook group: The Determined Society Twitter: @theshawnmfrench YouTube: The Shawn French --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/shawn-french/message Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

For some people listening, their fun might be something different. What advice would you have for them to chase doing what they get the most joy out of? Man, constantly be pursuing your goals or dreams and your purpose. Straight up, always be fighting for that. When I talked to Ed, he said an acronym, Canny, C-A-N-I, constant and never-ending improvement. And when he told me that, I was like, oh, my gosh, like, I need to always be improving in whatever it is that I'm passionate about, whatever it is that I'm chasing, I want to always be improving. What is up, everybody? It's me, Sean Frinch back with another bombshell of an episode,

The Determined Society. Before I get to the introduction of my guests, I want you guys to take a moment, follow the show, subscribe, whatever the hell it is, leave a review and submit a comment. I want to hear what you have to say about the show. And my only other ask is that you share this show out to your socials and tag me and my amazing guest today. if you got anything out of it. Even if you think we're a bunch of tools, share it out. We don't care. We just want to hear some feedback.

So without further ado, I'd like to introduce a really new friend of mine, and I can actually see myself doing a lot of things with this individual because of his story. Imagine being a young man at 14 years old and having to raise himself. I mean, what kind of voids does a young boy need to fill at that age? And what I found is a lot of times,

And especially in my guest case, you, you, you fill those voids with some bad activity and possibly go down the wrong road. And that's okay because America loves stories of redemption. And I want him to tell his story of redemption. So you can hear it first and foremost here on the Determines Society podcast. So without further ado, Eric Allen, what's up, baby? Man, thank you so much for just having me on your show. It's such an honor to be here, Sean. And absolutely an honor to call you friend, man.

And looking forward to work with you further, man. Oh, bro. I mean, hey, the feeling is more than mutual. You know, that's the cool thing about the social media thing. Excuse me is that, goodness, sorry guys. I don't know what's going on my voice this morning. But, you know, you get to meet so many cool people if you choose to really open up and find the light in social media. And you're one of those bright shining lights.

And we met through a mutual friend. And just for the moment, like, I'm like, hey, bro, you're like, let's connect. and then I get this amazing video message from me. I'm like, oh, dude, this is my guy. This is my dude. So, again, honors all mine. Come on, man. So you got an interesting background, dude.

A little bit. I mean, like, let's get into it, right? Because, you know, there's a lot of things. And it's so funny because if you look at all the greats, they usually have some type of story. Sometimes it starts with jail. You know, I'm not. going to lie. I may have spent an evening at one point. But you know what, man, here's the thing.

I feel that those stories are ones of stories of redemption. And America just loves those stories. So why don't you take the listeners briefly through your background and kind of how I introduced you and what it means. Yeah, you know, I mean, I grew up in a typical household is what I thought, you know, played Little League, went to Sunday school. My dad would literally take my best friend, Dave and I, and throw us in dumpsters behind stores when I was a kid and say, go find treasure. And that was like a typical Saturday morning, like for me and my buddy Dave. Dave is still my best friend today, you know, 35, six years later, man. And so he just laughs at that.

But, you know, when I was 11 years old, my parents got a divorce. And I didn't know anyone who had gotten divorced, didn't even understand what that word was. And so it was a shock to my system because my mom immediately gets together with this guy who's very physically abusive. I mean, I watched her get the snot kicked out of her, man. hitting her in the head with a cordless phone when those were a thing, you know, and here I am in the middle of my sixth grade year or something like that. And watching this, I'll go down. I'd call the police.

They'd show up. My mom wouldn't press charges. It would just happen over and over and over again. It's a cycle. Totally. Yeah. And, you know, so they did the smart thing. My mom got pregnant.

And then, you know, I grew up in eastern Washington state. And they decided to move us to Stevensville, Montana. So small town, Bitterroot River, 1,200 people in that town. And the property they moved to had this five acres, beautiful pond on there. And the house they moved into had three bedrooms. There's one for them, one for my little brother who's a couple months old at this time. And then one for my sister who's four years younger than me. And they said, Eric, you could live in the garage.

So I literally had a plastic tarp down the middle of the garage. And my bedroom were you? We moved up there when I was 12. So, yeah, so I was basically out in the garage at that point, I think. And so it was the middle of my eighth grade year. So maybe I was a little bit. maybe I was 13, 12, 13, somewhere in there. But I had plastic tarp down the middle.

My bedroom was on the one side of the garage. Luckily, my half had a fireplace on it. So it'd keep me semi-warm through the middle of the winters of Montana. But, you know, the abuse continued, man. And it was even more so up there because we were further away from police where we were at. We were actually off the highway. So we weren't in the town. And so I remember there was a night when I was brushed my teeth.

They came home arguing one night. nothing was different. It was like craziness. I'm brushing my teeth. And I felt God in that moment, they go, man, you got to look around, you got to turn around. And so as I turn around down the hall,

it's the pantry to the garage door where my room is at. When it comes to what your family eats and drinks, you know your choices matter. You're the expert because you know what fits your life. And getting it right starts with good information. That's why America's beverage companies are sharing more information about our ingredients at good to know facts.org. No spin, no judgments, just the facts straight from the experts for more than 140 beverage

ingredients. Visit good to know facts.org. And I see this dickhead on top of my mom, boom, boom, boom. And I was like, dude, I got to stop this guy. So I walked up behind him, I grabbed a cast iron pan, and I swung as hard as I could and split the back of his head open. He turned around and he's like, what then he did that? And I took another swing and I split his forehead open.

And, you know, here's the thing is I did that. He's bleeding all over. I'm thinking I'm the hero. The cops finally show up, take him to jail. The next day, my mom starts putting plans together. And I basically was kicked out of the house at that point. That's what you did. Yeah.

You had three months left in my freshman year of high school. So I went and lived with my buddy forest. He lived with his dad. And I slept on hardwood floors to finish out my eighth grade year. And then moved back to live with my dad in Washington State. That incident basically put me. on a path of destruction for the next 10 years, man. So, you know, my dad, he rented a house for him and I.

He'd go stay with his girlfriend. I'd see my dad in passing a couple times a month. You know, he'd put 20 bucks in a cup for my lunch money and put Hungerman Meals in the freezer and cereal milk in the house, right? And so got into drugs and drinking and, you know, partying really early on, 18 years old, senior in high school, got arrest for having a bong, which is funny now because it's now legal in the state of Washington. But in 1998, when I was a senior, it was illegal.

And, man, so then two weeks after graduated, my dad kicked me out. I woke up to a post-it-note on a bathroom mirror that said, you can't comply with House where it was you have 48 hours to get out. So between 18 and 21, I moved 21 times, lift off credit cards and ended up making a move to Seattle. And by the time I was 21, I was $28,000 in debt and I had to file bankruptcy, man. And, man, it just got crazy from there. Dude, I have, I have, I have, I have like chills.

Okay. And here's why. And this is what, for the people that are listening, of the show. I love these interviews and I love connecting with people like, like you, Eric, because everyone has a story. And all too often, we sit there and we walk around our daily lives and think we're so much different than everybody else walking around. Like, nobody has it worse than us. You know, everybody, you know, that person's lucky. People may look at you and be like, oh, you've had all these amazing guests on your podcast. That's a lucky motherfucker. But what,

but what they don't understand is everything that went on in your child. build the man that you are right now in order to put you in places, not just to be an amazing husband and father first and foremost, right, but also an amazing entrepreneur, podcast host, and coach. So my point of this rant is for everybody listening, everybody has a story, and it is your job on a daily basis to seek those stories out so you can understand people better. Now that I've heard Eric's story in almost completion, and I'm sure that's the Reader's Digest version, it automatically tells me why you're as successful as you are. Oh, thank you, man. I appreciate that. Dang, man. That is a powerful story. Yeah, it was pretty wild for sure,

man. It was pretty wild and, you know, making that moved up to Seattle was pretty insane, but, you know, I always wanted to get into music business. Don't know how to play anything, but I just wanted to be in the back of it, right? Like, I was like, I just want to be in the music business. So, you know, I ended up landing a job with Universal Records and literally showed up for six months, didn't get paid every single day, just showing up, just stuff and posters and things like that. And then I ended up getting hired on.

The problem was living up my dream of being in the music business, but I was living a rockster lifestyle. So it was at two to three concerts a week, open tab, craziness. You know, I was living that rock star lifestyle. My one year anniversary got laid off. This is during the days of Napster. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you know, so back in the day, man.

And I was a guy on the bottom of the totem pole. So got laid off working at night at Starbucks one time. And I was a night manager at Starbucks after that. And a girl walked in who doesn't drink coffee. And she said, hey, man, we got this cool college age event down at our church. Would you be interested in going? You know, I'm depressed. I have no friends.

I'm basically an addict at that point to drugs and alcohol. And I'm like, man, she's good looking. What time do I need to be there, right? You know? And so I go, yeah, what time to be there? So I show up and I end up running into these guys that I knew from five, six years earlier. I was like, dude, what, what are you doing here, man? And I'm clear on the other side of the state from where I grew up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, and so I think in that moment, God started to plant a seed. And it was a month later, is Easter 2004. I went out and I parted with this band. I was managing. I woke up Easter morning, my buddy's basement, surrounded by probably 15 other dudes. And I felt in that moment that God was like, dude, you're going down this path. It's going to end your life real quick.

And so I decided in that moment that I gave my life to Christ right there and then, man. And I quit cold turkey, drugs, drinking, cigarettes, everything in that moment. And I called that girl up. I got her voicemail. I said, hey, happy Easter. Thanks for inviting me that church event. Maybe I'll see at the store sometime. Well, a month later, we were dating and now we've been married for almost 18 years.

No way. Yeah, for sure, dude. Dude, my drop minute, 957. Good Lord. That's amazing. You don't hear stories like that very often anymore, man. Yeah, pretty cool, man. And we're actually both born and again.

exactly 1.41 p.m. on a birth certificate. Different days, several years, but the exact same minute. That's insane. It's so funny because everybody talks about, you know, and we've, we've heard a mutual contact talk about, you know, a man needs a woman to, you know, like a, like a scenario, like someone to save and, you know, like, or they, or they get depressed, right? I think it's, I think it's, I think it's both, right? I think, you know, there's, especially in my experience, right? So when I met my wife, I was at the very lowest of the low. Like, I couldn't pay my truck payment. couldn't do anything. You know, I was going through a transition in my life,

and I was just busted, bro. And this beautiful Latina woman showed interest in me, and I don't know why at that point. I truly don't. You know, and I take it for granted every day because I'm an idiot. And, you know, we start, you know, talking and dating, and she's my best friend of my wife now. And, you know, without her, like literally,

everything that I have is impossible. Because she has given me that added confidence that I didn't, I wasn't raised with. I was always raised with, you're too fat, your ears are too big, your teeth are fucking stupid, you're slow, you can't play. If you don't play in the major leagues, you're never going to be anything in your life. So that reserve, you know, that confidence, you know, is something that I have to work for every single day, just like everybody else. But when, but there's, there's also a depletion of it in some way. And she has given me that.

And through that, she's taught me how to be a better sales professional. She's taught me how to be a better father. You know, I still have a lot of work to do in all those areas, especially being an amazing husband. But dude, it's like, you know, hearing that story and I love it because it's just like I wanted to draw that parallel to like, hey, you know, you know, men need women. Yeah. Women need men. And that's my, for those of you listening that don't agree with that philosophy and you, like, hey, bro, I got you.

I'm on your, whatever you choose in your life. Fine. But for me and my experience is, you know, I needed her just as much as she needed me. Yeah. Yeah. And your wife did the same thing for you. That's so incredible. Yeah.

It's a cool story, man. She came from a broken home as well. So we kind of just connected. We knew exactly what we didn't want in marriage, but we also didn't get taught how to have a good marriage. So we spent the first five years just getting to know each other and going through some of the yuck, you know, and things like that.

And, you know, being married for almost 18 years, not every day or every year is rainbows and sunshine, man. Like you said, we have to as men constantly be working on getting better as a husband, getting better as a father.

And, man, really have to be pursuing our wife. on a daily basis, man. And so that's what I think has helped us, at least, you know, in our marriage, we decided that when we said we do, I do, like, we meant it. And so we're breaking the chains of divorce, addiction, rejection, abuse that came from both of our sides of our family.

And, you know, we look at our parents, both of our parents have been married and divorce six plus times. And we're like, nope, that's not happening. It's stopping right here. There's going to be no more divorce in the Allen tribe moving forward. We are putting our foot down and it's not happening. You know, it's very interesting because you talk about modeling behavior, right? Modeling, you know, good relationships.

I didn't have that either. You know, my biological father, just like, you know, your stepdad beat the living piss out of my mom. You know, I was two, apparently. My mom was in the hospital in the intensive care unit. Of course, I never, I don't know because I don't remember it. But I only remember being around my biological father maybe three times. And each time was like this weird feeling, right? or, you know, saying nasty things about women, like, oh, you know, using the P word in front of a six-year-old, like, bro, like, what are you thinking?

I didn't know what it meant, but I knew it was nasty and bad, you know, and then I remember just being held down because of these things on my nose. And, like, there used to be two or three of them, and he would hold me down and just pinch and just pop them. And to this day, I cannot stand when my face is touched. Yeah, yeah. Wow. It triggers me to a point where I just, I want to punch you. And it doesn't matter who you are. Yeah.

And I'll repeat, it does not matter who you are. I want to fight you. Yeah. Because it brings that back. But so then she, you know, got married to this dickhead named Dominic who broke her arm, right? I saw that. Okay. And then married my, my stepfather who ended up being, you know, the father figure in my life from 10 years on.

We don't have a relationship anymore because, you know, he's narcissistic. And, you know, a lot of my, I have a lot of issues with men. We didn't see that way. Sure. Right. So like, you know, just to hear all that and just to see how similar our backgrounds are, you know, I didn't have that modeling behavior either, right? I had, if you disagreed, you yell and scream. The only way to live and be comfortable in your day-to-day life was either to scream, to disagree,

and win the fucking argument. Yeah. So it's something I battle, man. Mm. You know? Yeah, that's tough for us. Like, I mean, even throughout, you know, my kids are nine and 12.

So they've seen my wife and I argue. They've seen us get into heated discussions. Here's the cool thing, though, is we've told them since day one. They'll never see us get a divorce. And, like, they see the real us. They see us disagree. They see us fight. They see us argue.

But they also see us make up. They see us slow dance in the kitchen. They see us kissing in the kitchen, right? And then they go, oh, right, but they know that this is a safe spot. We've made a decision. We're not getting a divorce. We're going to work throughout whatever we got going on. We're going to work it out and we're going to move on.

And so I love that we've been able to do that with our kids and they see that. And then they see us make up. And they're like, man, mom and dad, they're not going anywhere. I love it. I love it. And that's a cool thing because, again, for the listeners, I want them really take this into account is how your job. children are benefiting is not just from a safe environment now, but they're going to be able to create that safe environment for their future children. And that's what the importance is, because

if we don't change, we don't break the cycle, just like you said, you're breaking the Allen cycle or whatever to the cycle of divorce. Yeah. You know, like, dude, like that shit continues, right? Your kids are going to do what you do because that's how they learn and that's how they wire their brain, their limbic system, everything, right? It's just natural. One thing, I want to cover one more thing and then I want to move on to what you're doing now and you know because you're doing some amazing things and you know I definitely want to highlight that um you know you mentioned you know constantly pursuing your wife every day I agree with that you know it's really really difficult though you know because you know you get you know things involved you get you know work stress

side hustle stress podcast stress right client stress um you know the algorithm on instagram stress that's a joke but it's fucking true um you know but um you know I also feel it's equally as important as your wife to pursue you. Yep. Totally. And I think what happens is I know what happens is in my marriage. If I feel like, you know, my wife's not pursuing me, like I'm fucking, you know, probably like, hey, okay, stand off, you know. But the thing is, it's like, I'm always going to lose that battle because I, I cherish my

woman, right? So it's like, but like, I think that happens on both ends. And I really, I truly feel it's important for, you know, whether you're married or in a long, you know, committed relationship or a new relationship. or a new relationship that you love so much, man, just do your part. Yeah. I agree, man. So we started kind of implementing this thing, you know, a while back.

But we, it's, we call it the five or five. And basically when I get off work at five o'clock in the afternoon, I'm going to try to shut everything down. So I put my phone away. My family time is very important to me. So after five o'clock, I'm done. Like, I'm not going to respond to messages unless I have an opportunity, but I really don't try to bring out my phone during the evening. But when I get off work, I know she's had a long day because

she's at home with the kids or, you know, she's volunteering at their school or running errands and things like that. But I take five minutes, five for five. So within five feet. So I'm up close within that five foot circle of her. And we just take five minutes just to unload, man. Like, how was your day? Like, what are we doing? Like no kids, just her and I talking about the day. Like we, that's a daily thing that we have to do. It allows us to have those, that moment to kind of let stuff out, to talk about things that happened throughout the day, because obviously I'm working. She's running around and doing things. It's really helped in that. Now, she also, like you said, she has to pursue me. And so we make that conversation. I actually bought a journal,

a hardcovered journal, and I have it in the bathroom. And every morning when I get up, before I leave the bathroom, I write a message in that book for her. I dated it every single day. The entire year, I'm writing, hey, babe, man, you're awesome. Thank you for amazing dinner. night. Thank you for, you know, helping our kids with their homework. Every single day, I write a message in that and I close it and then I put it in. So she sees that every single day. Now, the benefit of that is also from a man's perspective, I'm, my wife, she knows what my like triggers are for love, right? So she's like, yeah, she'll get close to me. She also, you know, does a daily flash, right? So I'm, I love that, right? Like, I'm like, hey, hey, right. So like, bring it, bring it, right? You know, like, make it fun, man.

You're just sitting in the Mardi Gras. Right. Totally, dude. So, like, I know that if I'm pursuing her, guess what? I'm going to get that daily flash, right? And so that's exciting for me. Like, we make it fun. And you have to really do that if you want to make your marriage successful, man. Dude, this, it's so funny. I just want to acknowledge this interview, like in the middle of it. Like, I was already excited about this interview. I'm excited about all interviews. I'm not going to lie because it's an opportunity to get to know somebody a little bit better. Totally. But, like, dude, this is fucking amazing. Like this is some great stuff for the audience to apply to their life in real life, right? We haven't even gotten to business or anything like that, you know, of what you're doing. But, you know, this is a very impactful conversation. I'm not surprised.

I'm not surprised at all. We've had previous conversations, you know, on your show that's, you know, incredible. So I just, you know, I'm just, I'm loving this, man. So thank you. Yeah, thank you, man. I appreciate it, dude. Yeah, man. So, dude, like, you're dynamic, brother.

Okay, you have, you know, Eric Allen Media. whether it's helping somebody create a podcast, whether it's doing cool videos for entrepreneurs. You know, tell the audience, like, because, I mean, there's a lot of people listening that may, you know, need your services. So, you know, tell everybody what you do and how you came about it. Yeah, you know what? It started with Top Radio May.

It was an apparel company I had in 2012. It ended up failing. And then I started a podcast because I didn't want to give up the name in 2017. I had no idea what I was doing on podcasting, right? You know, like, I just wanted to interview MMA fighters. ask them why they want to get punched in the face. That was literally the only thing that I thought. That's dope.

And so I was in a walk-in closet for almost my first hundred episodes of recording, bad lighting, bad microphone, like didn't do any editing. And someone says, well, how can I listen to it on Apple? And I said, what the hell is that? Like, I didn't even know what Apple was, man. And so I started researching and getting better and like going, how can I make this thing better? And so 2018 come across Ed My LED online. I'm like, oh, my gosh, this guy's beliefs, values, everything I'm aligning.

roll up, you know, down the couple months down the road. I end up winning the Ed my lap max out community challenge that he issued to his million followers by submitting a one minute video and tagging him. I want a phone call with Ed. Change my life forever. It was because of Ed that I started my other podcast. It used to be called the Bearded Biz. I had a big long beard at the time. But I changed the name to the Eric Allen show because my wife's smarter and she said, hey, you should probably change that name.

So, but anyway, so that opportunity with Ed really opened the door for me to have. massive conversations with so many other people. So prior to Ed, I had Sean Wheeland on my show. And then it was Ed and that was Tim Story and Bedris Cooian and Brad Lee, Jim the Ricky Morris, Dan Caldwell. I mean, just name a few of the people that have been on the show. Like, they have all changed my life in some way just by dropping nuggets. And so I interviewed those guys, man.

Eric Alameda is about the podcast. It's about me doing videos for brands. So I've worked with 50 brands, 50 plus brands on doing how to videos. explainer videos box opening videos i love doing that stuff and so i just be able to do that and sometimes it's like from vitamin water to you know weird crazy bouncy balls in the backyard with the kids right like so i i'm all over the place but i also do some audio narration so video or audio books i've done that i'm writing a book right now my own story and man and then podcast yeah i coach people on how to podcast like how do you get started like what do you need to do so i i take the seven years or five

gosh, five years that I've been podcasting and say, hey, let's crunch this into an hour or two hours. And let me help you get started. Where to host it, how to host it, how to promote it, how to get ranked and reviews, how to lock, how to lock in those big names. And then through my course, the video version allows them to do it self-paced, but they also get a 30-minute strategy call with me. And then, or they can just do a live coaching.

So I offer both. And then, yeah, man, that's where we're at right now is just continuing to pursue that and work with brands on a sponsorship for the show. And yeah, I'm so, I'm fired up because I love podcasts. I love, like, talking and having these conversations, man. So I'm all over the place. You know, it's funny because this is like, honestly, like, and I feel like someone's going to kick me the nuts for saying this,

but this is my favorite thing that I do. Yeah, I love coaching people. Like, listen, like, dude, like, as you know, I love coaching sales professionals. I love getting, I love changing, helping them change their life. That's the funest part. Like, someone's like, hey, I only make 80 grand a year and like, I can't afford this for my wife.

We need to go on a vacation. We haven't done any years. Like, well, what if I help you make 160? Can you go do that? And then getting that video or that call of them crying because they just booked their flight because they are making the money that they can. Right. And, you know, so just really getting people to discover what they have inside of them already

and just executing those habits consistently, even when they don't want to. But more than that, the podcast. This is my baby. For so many years, I wanted to do a podcast and overcomplicated it. And to your point, you know, like you used to do it in the closet with bad lighting, no fucking microphone. Like, brother, you and I are so, we're like twinning bad. I know it's probably a 16 year old girl thing to say. I love you.

But we're turning hard, bro. I twin with you. Because like, like, dude, do you know where my podcast started? Where? Oh, you're in your car. In my car. Dude, shut up. That's awesome.

I remember that. I told you about that on your show. Like, dude, like literally, like, I, I, I downloaded Anchor. I just search YouTube. I'm like, I'm done with this. I need to start a podcast. Yeah. And, you know, Andy Ficella inspired me.

I listened to him way back to MFCEO. So I'm an OG, Andy. You're probably not listening, but come on. Where's the love? For real, seriously. But, you know, the thing is, is like, you know, I didn't know how to do it. And there's so many people out there that don't know how to do it, right? And so I did it on my own, right?

And you did it on your own. And now you can help individuals. you know, do that, right? And I think there's huge value in that because if, if somebody is listening right now that wants to start a podcast that has a cheat, they can go, I don't want to say cheat code, but kind of like shorten the process. Yeah. Frustration. I think it's valuable. I know it's valuable, right? Yeah, totally. Because I'm about to launch something like that myself, you know, but it's like one thing at a time, right? It's like, you know, so many programs we're going to get diluted here. but dude it's like to echo what you're saying the the joy that I get from my podcast

yeah is ridiculous you know like and you mentioned sponsorships talk to me a little bit about that talk to the audience like what do you mean by that yeah so I I don't I didn't want to fill my show up with just a bunch of ads but I also need to be able to support my show yeah and so I find brands that have similar interest values beliefs as myself I'll either reach out to them of Instagram DM is is the key I think for anything booking guests or sponsorships but at least starting conversations but so sponsorships for me it can be collaborative it can be like hey I'll hook you up with this product and we'll do the swap one of my main sponsors is a local massage place out here where I live in cordalain Idaho and the lady hooks my wife and I up with a free couples massage

every single month. And it's fantastic. And so I'm like, dude, I will do a swap. She started actually with a $100 sponsorship way back in the day when I was only charged $100. But then she was like, hey, let's just do a swap. And I was like, heck yeah, dude. And my wife's like, finally after five years of your podcasting, I get to benefit from one of your sponsors. Right. So it's like, but yeah, I mean, sometimes you can work out things where you're just doing a trade. Sometimes it's monetization. Here's the thing that podcasters get hung up on though. They think that they have to, have so many downloads and so many listeners to be able to get a sponsorship. And it's absolutely not true.

I have never looked at my, I didn't even look at my numbers until last year. Or I just don't, I don't pay attention to the number of downloads. Because I do podcasting because I love it and I'm passionate about it. I could care less if it's one person or 5,000 listen to the show. But when I would talk with sponsors, I never talk to them about numbers.

That's not the value that I'm bringing. What I'm bringing them is top-notch professional. sponsorship mentions and I post out to my social media and I do a lot for my sponsors and I make sure that they feel that love and every single show and they get a shoutout during the week and just random shoutouts like that's the value that I'm bringing. Not many people can say they had Ed Milet and Sean Whelan or Bedros Coley on their show. So I can say, look, I've brought these guys to my show. I'll guarantee that my guests are going to be as big or bigger in that area. So let's put your name out there. And so that's how I approach. sponsorships and man it helps monetization my show when I started my podcast and I told my wife I will not take any money from my salary and put it into podcasting 100% of the money I put into my show is made from my show and so that's just something that I've been able to do but yeah if you're a podcaster man sponsorships help and the best way to do that is just reach out via Instagram DM and say hey are you

open to a conversation about having a sponsorship or sponsoring my podcast you know I that's something I need to get better at I'm not going to lie I got like it's It's so funny because I feel like people, you know, you know, nowadays have to puff their chest up and, you know, act like they can have their shit together, right? That is the thing that I struggle with. I don't have any sponsors right now. So every, so everything, so my podcast is funded by what I make in my business. And so, you know, if you hit a lull, it gets a little dicey, right? Because, dude, like, I put a show out every single week. Yep.

And I'm not going to stop that, right? Because it's consistency. And, you know, if you've watched my show or listen to me. my show, you know, there's production value there. You know, there's nice music. There's, you know, editing. There's a lot of different things that go into it that I'm not doing. They got to pay somebody for, you know, because I'm not going to sit there and do all that because I'm not, dude, I'm not, I'm not that guy. But it just, you know, I'll screw it up. I'll screw something up big time. But I just love hearing this, man, because, you know, you have such an offering for people

that can relate to. And, you know, with your personality, dude, I know it's just freaking taken off, So it's awesome. Well, thank you so much. And look, I get it. As a podcaster, you don't have a budget or anything like that. I still, to this day, I do edit all my shows. I do everything myself. But especially when you're starting out, if you don't have a budget, dude, anchor is free.

Like, you know, you can start a podcast in five minutes. So I just encourage, like, go do that. You and I, we both use Riverside. I love Riverside, man. And it's a killer platform. But, you know, it costs money. So we have to have sponsorship to help us get that show going. And so that's for sponsorship to come into play, man.

And it truly does help us out. It's not about like how much money can I make from it. It's really helping us put the show together so that we can make an impact on the world. That's what I'm most about. Yeah, man. I mean, it's true, right? Riverside's great. I used Zoom before.

And I just realized like, hey, like there's so many more cool things I can do with Riverside. And, you know, so yeah, dude, like it does cost money. And that's what, you know, people don't understand. Like, when you throw out production, you know, there's cost involved. But it's like if you tell me like I don't have, I remember when I first started it was like I would have some cool guests and then I'd go like two weeks out of guests.

I'm like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. I'm like my bank is empty. I've got like 70 shows recorded. Come on. Come on. You know some of them, you know, I can be honest. Like some of them didn't show up with, you know,

with equipment that's, you know, operable. So I can't, I can't release it. It is what it is. Sure. Right. But like to have that opportunity to just know that,

every week I'm going to interview at least five amazing people. And now it's, now I don't want to say easy, right? It's constant. So I get to do something. I love five times minimum a week. And, you know, so I want you to touch on that a little bit because we talk about how this is our favorite thing.

And for some people listening, their fun might be something different. What advice would you have for them to chase doing what they get the most joy out of? Man, constantly be pursuing your goals or dreams and your purpose. Straight up. Always be fighting for that. When I talked to Ed, he said an acronym, C-A-N-I, or sorry, C-A-N-I, constant and never-ending improvement.

And when he told me that, I was like, oh, my gosh, like I need to always be improving in whatever it is that I'm passionate about. Whatever it is that I'm chasing, I want to always be improving. Here I am five and a half years into podcasting. I still watch podcasts and our YouTube videos on how to be a better podcaster. How can I talk with my guests better? Still to this day, I need to always be leveling up. So whatever it is that you're passionate about, maybe it's building Legos, maybe it's

being a cook, whatever, like find that and start pursuing relentlessly how to be better at it every single day. You cannot let up. And, you know, with podcasting, we have to be consistent. When I started, it was like, here, release one here, release one there, right? But if you want to be successful in podcast, set a date, set a time. release it at that same time every single week or whatever day it is it is you have to be consistent you know like i think i read a statistics that 90% of podcast never make it episode 50 and then after

the 50th 90% of those don't make it episode 100 listen you have to just stay consistent if you want to be successful in podcasting i just love it man you know and you like uncle ed man's always dropping the heat on people totally dude like and it's so funny because some people think that social media made that guy and that guy was a dude before social media came around. Social media just said, hey, here I am now. This is a avenue where people can learn who I am. And that's why he's so, so I guys loved, revered and popular, right?

Yeah. But constant and never ending improvement. If you are not constantly pursuing your craft and getting better, you're dying. Yep. Like literally straight up guys, like, listen, if you love something, or even if it's your job and you don't love it, you can never get to the job or the career that you're going to love and cherish if you're not a badass at what you do right now.

And you do that by giving a fuck. You do that by constantly working at your craft and trying to find ways to improve. Yep. Professional development, man. Like, bro, if I go back and listen to my first episode, I throw up. Oh, dude, I get so scared. When I send my show to somebody, all seem like a recent episode, right?

Yeah. Like, oh, no, I just listened to the first one. I'm like, oh, my God, do you still like me? Yeah, totally. It's so terrible, man. God, and you could just, I could just hear myself. And I know about you. I want to get your input, but I can hear myself trying to be somebody I'm not,

trying to force the conversation, not really knowing how to even introduce a guest. Now I just, I freestyle it. Yeah. That's what I'm good at. Like I'm just, you know, I'm going to know some certain details and I'm going to roll it. But I have found by testing over and over again professional development, right, of like, okay, what's working for me? What's not?

So what's your thoughts on that, man? Here's a funny story. In 2020, I set a goal to be a guest on 20 or 50 podcasts, right? And I only did 25. And I got the end of 2020. I was like, seriously, that's all I could do. I did half the freaking work of my goal. That's stupid.

So I got to 2021. I said, I'm going to be a guest on 100 podcasts in 2020. Now, at the time, I was also doing two podcasts. I was releasing two shows a week. And so my goal, be a guest on 100 podcasts in 2021. I said, we're starting day one. January 1st, I went on. I ended up finishing that year with 117 guest spots on other people's podcasts.

On top of releasing 100 of my own episodes. The reason I did that was because I wanted to get on as many shows I could so that I could understand what other people were doing. I wanted to hear their flow. I wanted to see what equipment they're using. How were they're doing it, right? I wanted to know how I can improve. Some podcasts I was on was great.

Some were like, what the hell am I doing on this show? Like it was, it was wild, but it was a learning experience either way. So I was trying to constantly be improving. You know, part of the one of those 117, I was able to fly down to Vegas to be a guest on Bradley's dropping bombs.

That was the coolest freaking show I've ever been on. Now, Brad's a great dude, and he was a guest on my show. And I was telling him I was on this journey. He's like, dude, fly to Vegas. I was like, boom, we're done. I mean, I lined it up within a week.

And, but just if you want to improve, like you said, you got to submerge yourself, man. Yeah. In your whatever it is that you're passionate about. And so I do think that personal development for me is learning how to podcast. How can, what questions can I ask? How can I approach my show and my guests better? How can I release my shows better, right? And so I think whatever it is that you people want to pursue, like pursue it so relentlessly, man,

that it's like part of you you have to become obsessed with pursuing your passion your dreams and your goals and your purpose man well said man love it so much i mean it's if you are not truly chasing what you want every single day just like your sign behind you go of dreams purpose man like we are not living if we do not do that we are god not put us here right for those of us on this conversation you and i we believe that jesus christ is what put us here, right? And I'm not saying that everybody, you know, is forced to believe that. But what I am saying is you better believe in something bigger than you. Yeah. And you better, and you better believe that you are not alone. And you better believe that you are not here to be

mediocre. You are here to thrive. And if you are not thriving or at least attempting to thrive, then what are you doing? Yeah. Yeah. Man, absolutely. You know, it's like a lot of people that get depressed and then again you know there it's a clinical thing like I'm not a psychologist um by the way I do have a psychology degree so if anybody wants to come at me with that you know um I do know a little bit of what I'm talking about I do not have my PhD but here's the thing you know there is clinical depression you know some people just can't help it but there are those individuals that don't have that clinical depression that are allowing their circumstances to you know cause depression which stems from not doing anything yeah have you ever

in your time and in your life just like fell into that depression state because you just weren't living who you are dude i totally you know when i met my wife and i got laid off from universal records i lived in the most ghetto apartment i could ever find like in rent in washington it's super ghetto but i actually lived across the street from where jimmy hendricks was buried so it was kind of cool but it was in the ghetto but like it was gnarly dude my wife at the time when we first started a date She's like, what the heck of, where do you live? Like, this is crazy. I mean, it was, it was like international hall.

Like, no one spoke English. The couple down the hall, like, they were, this is going to sound weird, but they were a lesbian couple, but they were both deaf. And they would get into crazy fistfights in the hall outside of my door. It was nutty, dude. Like, so I mean. Dude, guys, you didn't, do you better wasn't YouTube then. You'd be viral.

Dude, I'm telling you. Like, I've got to be fighting. Dude, dude, it's a while. But, um, Man, I'll tell you like, so yeah, I've seen that there, man, and just being in that area where that spot of my life, I didn't know what I was doing. I would come home. I'd go, sorry, I'd get off work, go get a six pack of beer, go to Hollywood video and rent a video and go back to my ghetto apartment and drink myself to sleep. That was my daily.

I had no purpose in life. I didn't know what I was doing. And man, once I gave my life to Christ for me, that was an eye opening moment. So I had to change my environment. I got away from the party and I found guys that were living life that I wanted to live. live and I surrounded myself with them. I found guys how great marriages. They had great businesses.

They were great walks with Christ. And I just interviewed them at the time before we podcast. I was taking out to Starbucks and going, dude, tell me how to live your life. What do I need to do to get to what you're doing? And that helped me so much. And then I started implementing my daily win strategy. For me, it's a goal to wake up every day. And when I open my eyes, immediately I go, man, God, thank you for another day to see.

I see how good I'm going to hold my family. Right. And then I jump out of bed. I make my bed. There's two wins. I'm already stacking my wins in the day. 15 seconds, two wins. And so I'm already on fire.

I'm already to go, man. Here we go. You know, and I wake up at 4 a.m. 6 days a week. People are like, why the hell do you wake up at 4 a.m.? It's because my desire to be successful is bigger than my desire to sleep.

Period. Say that again, please. My desire to be successful is bigger than my desire to sleep. So I get up at 4 a.m. Because it allows me to work in personal development. It allows me to work in personal development. It allows me to work on my passion, my podcast. I still work a full-time job.

So once I'm done with that, I go make my kids breakfast and lunch, and then I start my job at eight. I'm not eating into family time working on myself. So I get up at early. I sacrifice my sleep a little bit, just a little bit so that I can pursue my passion and my purpose, my dreams, my goals. And then at some point, I'm going to be able to walk away from that full-time job and go, man, I put in the work. And here we are now. How can I improve and make a bigger impact? once again twinning like a motherfucker come on it's it's you know i don't believe in taking time away from

my family to work on sean french my family my family is my family so i also have you know a regular career i i miss i'm in sales i'm i'm corporate sales you know a lot of individuals say well oh my god you're still in nine to five yeah bro because when you hire me right to do a job to help you be successful in sales you need to know i come with receipts go to my link in. I'm not just some online guru that said, okay, COVID's here. I got laid off. Let me go take people's money. Right. I am the real deal. I do it every day, right, for another company. And I've, and I've grown tremendously in that career. And you have two. And I think it's a big difference. Now, again, one day we'll be able to walk away. Probably, yeah. But like, I don't,

I'm not ready for that yet. And I'm okay. with that. You know, I, I learn every single day through conversations I have, you know, from my nine to five. You know, luckily, I'm able to do my job from home. Yeah. Okay. But, you know, you earn that, right? You earn that. You got to be very strategic. You got to be very successful in your career in order to do that. So, like, bro, I just, I love hearing all these things because it is, it is spot on mindset. Like, same. Like, same. Like, my job. I, you know, if I don't get my work out of four, I'm not taking time away from my children. I'm going to make those sons of guns breakfast.

You know, today, my wife did it because I had a teledoc appointment, right? And then I had you, hey, baby, I need you, you're up today. Yeah. Hey, no problem. Amazing. And by the way, the kids were very quiet. They did very good during this episode. I'm very, very impressed.

I got to buy them the candy bar or some shit. But, but no, so it's like, you know, like my morning routine is like typically, once they open 24 hours again because the hurricane. Thanks to hurricane, my gym still doesn't have internet. So they can't do unmanned or unstaffed hours. So, but typically 4 a.m. up,

4.30 gym, 6 o'clock, I'm home. Make my kids lunch for school. Make them breakfast, sit down with them, have coffee, eat breakfast with them. Bro. Come on, dude. That's an American dream, dude. Yeah, come on. Like, to have that time with my babies.

And it's so funny because now they're not home. I mentioned to you this because of the hurricane. They're still not clear to go back to school because of air quality in the schools and, you know, a bunch of stuff like that. Is like they're home now and I'm in here. And I feel guilt sometimes because daddy has, you know, work all the way until, you know, 4 p.m. today. And so I struggle with that, dude. You know, like I want to be with my babies right now. You know, they're upstairs.

They're having a good time. Not that I'm not loving the conversation, but you're not. you know what I mean as a dad. It's like, how do you, how for those that are listening, even myself, how would you suggest releasing that guilt? Man, it's tough. So I've been working from home since 2015. So the majority of my kids' life, they've only seen me work for home. And so especially on Friday, my kids only go to school Monday through Thursday. So on Friday, they see me go downstairs and I'll get coffee or get breakfast and things. And they're like, hey, dad, let me show you this or hey, dad, can I do this?

or can you help me with this? And I'm like, man, I got to go back to work. I hate that. Right? And, oh, man, dad's got a phone call. I'm sorry. I got to go upstairs. You know, so it tugs at my heart, man, on a daily basis.

I'm blessed that I get to see them every day. And I'm blessed that I get to see them in moments throughout the day. And then the weekends, man, I really just try to shut everything off, man, and just focus on them, right? But it is tough, man, as being a parent and being a business person and being an entrepreneur, like, and pursuing those things. But I think you have to really dedicate. that time in the end of the day you have to set boundaries. I'm not going to work past five o'clock. I'm

turning off the phone calls at five o'clock or whatever time it is for you. Like for me, it's five, but it could be whatever time it is for people. Sure. But they just have to dedicate that time then to be with their family. Be present. Like I know that I'm, I've made mistakes where I'm downstairs and I'm trying to be quote unquote present, but my phone keeps buzzing. I'm like, man, I should just put my phone away or, oh man, I got to respond to that Instagram DM. I don't have to do that. But I've made that mistake before and I have to go apologize my man I'm sorry you know what I wasn't really present there I apologize yeah it just is an open communication with my family that they know that sometimes I'm going to mess up I mess up a lot in fact but I want to go and and apologize and say man

I'm sorry I should have spent that moment with you I'm sorry and it just makes things better when I can have that open communication with my family bro I messed up big last night like big and in fact you know, you know, Instagram has this new subscribing, you know, future. So I have, you know, I have one active. And, yeah, so people are, you know, people are buying, you know, it's $4.99. It's cheap, dude. But I'm going to give them like real shit that I wouldn't share on normal.

And, you know, I'm putting some out there today about my fuck up last night. And, you know, because I want them to see that, you know, hey, this shit ain't perfect, man. It's messy. It's gross sometimes. And, you know, I, I held my, my six-year-old dog. like a like for 15 20 minutes dude afterward come on and it's making me emotional right now thinking about it because you never want to see your children hurt you know but I but dude I'm I snapped I snapped you know it was like everything built up dude built up built up asked you ask you a thousand

times not to do some da da da da da da the environment here in southwest Florida with the hurricane you know the normal stress and then bang and you know i dude i went off for like 20 minutes i wasn't screaming and cussing i was talking loud and i was i was letting people know in this house how i felt sure and i felt immediately bad afterwards but but look man i i know we got to lay in the plane here and we both have amazing things to do today um this conversation has been incredible um i want to ask you really quickly two more questions um don't have to be long answers, but how can my audience best support you? Man, shares is always good.

I love, like, if you, if you follow my content and you like it and it hits home for you, it resonates with you, man, please share it out. Give me a follow. I'm big on Instagram, so I respond to every comment and every DM. So if you, you know, and go subscribe to my YouTube. I'm trying to build that up. I've got a little over 500 followers on there, but, you know, I'd love to hit that thousand marker here this year.

But, you know, subscribe to YouTube, subscribe to my. Instagram and just connect, man. You meet DM. I'd love to connect with people. I love it, dude. And I can attest he does answer every single comment, every single DM. We do, we both do that to a fault. Yeah.

And it is up. It is not a VA. It is us responding. And, you know, the one thing that I want to point out too, sorry, dude, I can speak. I can do a Joe Rogan style with you. My last three guests, I felt like I've said that because it's been incredible. Come on.

You know, men don't share. enough other, like other man's stuff. Like, you know, a lot of people will tell you when you're building a brand, hey, stop sharing other brands. Why? Why? Yeah. Like, like I shared, dude, it's so funny. I don't know if you know this.

You shared my reel today at the exact moment I shared yours from last night. And I did not know you shared my shit. That's awesome. Straight up. Yeah. On my kids, bro. On my life. Did not know.

To me, when we. when we share other people's content or the wins, it creates, you know, this, this amazing flow for us. Yeah. Because we're here to serve. We're here to cheer on. I think there's a for God art of support in our society. And, you know, I value that you feel that way and you do that yourself. You know, when you sent out that message today, hey, follow my guy.

It's like, wow, dude, wow, thank you. You know, and it just like I said, it came at the same time that I supported you. It's so funny. But my next question, and then we can land this amazing jet that we've been on for the last almost 50 minutes. Go on. How can I best support you, man? Man, you do support me through shares. You just support me through commenting on my post, man.

I appreciate that. And I love your experience, man. You being in the sales, like I've done sales. for 20 years and I would say I'm a mediocre sales guy. I'm definitely not a pusher sales guy. I am a relationship builder and I think that's the same that you preach as well. So man, for me like I just love to listen to your content and get better at that. I know that I need to get better in closing and get better in how to approach sales man. So I'm really excited just to learn from you. I know that you know we just met in the last few weeks

man but I'm so stoked to have this friendship and so stoked to learn. from your expertise, man. Like I said, I think it's so important to surround yourself with guys that are living the life that you want to live. And, man, you're living that life that I want to live, man. You're making massive impact. And I'm so thankful and grateful that I could be here today to have this conversation. Have you on my show, man.

You're an absolute stud, man. Dude, I, you know, again, all the feelings, bro. All the feelings are mutual. It means a lot to me, you know, and I receive that. Thank you. I'm honestly when you when in my viewers and my listeners may know this about me and you don't know this about me yet but when I'm at a loss of words it's very rare and it's because I'm I'm truly touched by it so thank you yeah absolutely so listen guys with that we're going to land this amazing plane this this has been such an impactful episode and I hope you guys listened all the way through if you didn't shame on you because this is high level conversation and it's real life and authenticity at its finest. So again, I ask you guys, if you like the show, please share it out.

If you're not already following the show, hit subscribe, leave a review on Apple or on Spotify. And gosh, guys, leave a comment. You know, I'm engaged with both of us because we love to hear from you. And with that being said, guys, I want you to add one more favor that I want you guys that I'm going to ask of you today. All right. do not go to bed tonight without taking action on something that one thing that you're sitting there right now that you're in your mind that you're like oh he means this go make the call go fucking do it and with that being said guys i love you all thanks for listening talk to you soon