Determined Society with Shawn French | Adversity & Mindset - Screw it and Do it with Michele Weinstein

Episode Date: September 5, 2022

Shawn interviews the creator of Screw it and Do it and if you love comeback stories you are going to love this one. Michele is a victor of a 10 year struggle with anorexia, abuse and anxiety. In this episode we discuss how she overcome all the above to become the empowered woman she is now. Michele now inspires and empowers others to say screw it and do it to create the life they truly desire. You are not going to want to miss this real and raw episode. You can connect with Michele at: IG @michelechristineweinstein --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/shawn-french/message Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What is the one thing that you've learned, the biggest piece of adversity that you've gone through that has taught you the biggest lesson in your journey so far? That any single point in your life that you could change the way that it is, that you can reinvent yourself, that you can relearn the things that you learned. Just because, you know, your past looks bad doesn't mean that your future has to look that way. What's going on, guys? Sean French, here with the other episode of the podcast, Determined Society. I have with me today someone very, very special. I met Michelle via social media, and I was really impressed by her story. She suffered from a 10-year struggle with anorexia, abuse, and anxiety.

And now she is healthy and she is thriving and living her best life. Michelle Christine Weinstein now inspires others to say, screw it and do it to get the life they really desire. Welcome to the show, Michelle. How are you? Thanks. I'm great. How are you? Hey, I can't complain.

Other than my voice is still kind of raspy, but you know what? At least I can talk now, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's the best part. You know, before we get into it, you've been taking some cool vacation, some cool trips with your boyfriend. You know, I really admire that because, you know, I have three children right now and I'm married. And a lot of times my wife and I just can't pick up and get in the car and go like we used to when we were dating.

So tell us, tell the audience what you've been up to. Let's hear it. Yeah, and I've been doing it with a puppy. as well. I recently just went to Mammoth and we did hiking and we just enjoyed life. You know, that's the best part of where I am today. It's like being able to be flexible with meals and with exercise and just everything. It was just fun, just much needed break from work. Now, I know you move from New Jersey to California and I want to get into that. But first, I want to touch on the hiking part. You and I spoke a little bit offline about places to go hike, like South Lake Tahoe

and to Yosemite. Um, Yosemite, um, Yosemite, um, Yosemite, you need to go to Yosemite. Yeah. Like you, yeah, it's, it's gorgeous. Yeah, I just found that I really liked hiking. I think like last year. So it's like, I'm trying to figure out what hikes I can do with my doodle now because his fur is like Velcro. So everything sticks on him. So I can't vote of the ones that have all those stickies and everything. because also an hour pulling them out of his cart. We have to do it every time my wife and I, a family, we go up to Tallahassee to go see my sister-in-law and our little dogs, for some reason in her neighborhood,

they did these little stickies in the grass, and we're steady picking the stickies out. Like, it's constant. So I feel that, feel that pain. Tell everybody about, she has a doodle, guys. What she's talking about is her beautiful golden doodle, Harrison. So tell the audience about Harrison.

I got him this year in February. I was so excited to get him because my dog passed in August, and I just needed something. Like, I feel like dogs make everything better, more enjoyable. They make you happy. So I got him in February with the intention of making him a service and therapy dog, because one of my life goals is to take him into hospitals to, like, give kids gifts at Christmas time.

It's always been something I've always wanted to do. So he's currently in training. And he's just the best. He's just one of the most well-behaved dogs. And I went away and he was just amazing. Like I can't even believe he's a puppy because he's just well-behaved. He sits and just everything. He's gorgeous.

It's really cool that you're doing that though. I didn't realize I saw you doing trainings. But I thought it just might have been obedience training. I wasn't really clear on what you were actually doing it for. And that's really awesome. Yeah. But it's a lot of work. Oh, I bet.

A lot more work than I thought. it was, but it's so worth it. I can imagine. We have two little dogs and it's just my wife. She trains them and she got them to, you know, the whole potty training thing. And, you know, I think she silently curses me every single time we get a dog because she knows she is the one that's going to have to do the whole training. I don't have the patience for that.

I can, you know, I can work with big dogs, little dogs. They're very needy and they are a lot more peculiar about where they go to the bathroom. And when they go in a certain patch, it just, it's way beyond me. So anyway, enough about dogs, but I love the fact that you and Harrison are doing that. I think he's going to bring a lot of joy to people. So, you know, tell the audience, you know, a little bit about your story. You grew up in New Jersey and like I mentioned and you can get into it, right? You know, as I mentioned before, you struggle with anorexia, abuse, and anxiety.

And that is something that I feel a lot of individuals struggle with, you know, some type of eating disorder, right? I think now everybody's so worried about being perfect, right? For me, I don't suffer from anorexia or bulimia, but like I'll binge from here and there. That is a disorder. Like, you know, some people say, well, I'm just enjoying myself. Like, no, like I have to be real with myself. It is a type of disorder, right? You know, so, you know, walk us through your journey a little bit about where you're at and the struggle

and just really, really let us know what you're going through or what you went through. I feel like it's very important to just start at the way beginning because I feel like this is where a lot of people go wrong is that like a lot of these behaviors are learned behaviors. When I was five years old, my brother was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. And at this time, you know, all our foods drastically changed. So we went from like chicken nuggets to grilled chicken, broccoli with cheese to broccoli, just like all these different changes. And my mom was so meticulous because of what the doctor. had told her about controlling diabetes, that she actually would weigh his food before every single meal.

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insulin if you needed to eat more. So essentially she was starving him and it was just me watching him being starved, essentially. And I thought that healthy was that, just starving and being hungry and limiting yourself. I just remember going to the grocery stores with my mom and I'd pick up syrup. And she would say, oh, no, not that syrup, like the healthy syrup that Chris can have. Who's my brother? And I think as a little kid, it's like, okay, that's healthy.

Like, I want to be healthy. Like, and I would just dive into sugar-free foods and all of those things to be healthy. And it wasn't really healthy for me. So I feel like that's kind of where it all started. and then you add on like the media and the marketing and everything else. And, you know, I was young and like I felt very insecure about my body. And at like eight years old in third grade, I would wear a jacket. And it would be 90 degrees out because I didn't feel confident with the way my stomach looked.

I would say no to snacks at school. And I'd be very meticulous with what I ate. I ended up over exercising and I ended up fracturing my foot and I just would eat. And then I didn't feel confident with my body afterwards because I wasn't exercising. So I made a pact with myself that I would lose like 20 pounds. And I lost a lot of weight when I was in sixth grade. So I really struggled throughout like my life. I was on the special K diet.

I was on, you know, all of these weird diets. Yeah, yeah, low-fat diet, it's just everything. And it's like I wish that, you know, I learned the right way of healthy growing up because I wouldn't have had missed out on that much of life. Like I feel like part of being a kid is like being able to like enjoy the foods that you're eating. And I feel like I never really got that opportunity. And I didn't really feed my body well enough. do that's so impactful because you know you know i wrote down learned behaviors you know and i think

in every family dynamic you have some type of learned behavior right so i i can completely see how you would go into this mindset of what is healthy is limiting myself weighing my food and if i'm not if i'm if i'm truly hungry not to listen to my body right and all the while i think that your mom is just trying to protect, you know, her son and do the best that she can. And, you know, it brings up another point that really scares me, too, as a father. And, you know, and a parent is just like, man, we have to be super careful of how we parent and the things that we say and model our behavior because we don't know how it's going to impact our children.

And it's, but it, you know, it all brings it back to the learned behaviors. Like, I had the exact opposite. it. It was like, where are we going to go eat tonight? You know, it wasn't a whole lot of sit downs. You know, my dad would get home from work and my mom would be like, what's for dinner? And my dad would be like, dude, I've been working all day.

Like, what do you mean? What's for dinner? I guess we'll go out. And we would go out. And, you know, it wasn't a healthy situation. And growing up, you know, I was always heavier as well. You know, today I still struggle with. that mindset of like, I don't look good enough. So I want to acknowledge you for that because,

you know, while while you see yourself one way, I see myself another way, I look at you completely different as you look at yourself. And you probably look at me completely different as I look at myself. So it's a super important thing for everybody listening to understand. Learn behaviors are super important. Right. And a lot of times all we have to do is kind of flip the narrative a little bit, right? And just say, you know, just everything in model. because right now there's so many different things going around about, you know, macros and all that stuff. And I believe in that. Like I'm going to be the first one to say, I believe in that. But I also don't believe in a lot of approaches that a lot of trainers and a lot of nutritionists are taking. You know, they'll tell a guy like me who's 210 pounds, hey, I want you to knock your calories down to 1600. No, I'm not doing that. That I'm starving myself. Will I lose weight? Absolutely. Absolutely. And quick. and then I'll put it right back on. You know, so I just think, I want to acknowledge that story because, like, you know, that's,

that's hard, you know, as a young kid and, you know, sixth grade. Yeah. Like, Michelle, do you remember those feelings? Yeah, I could remember how I felt. And it's just something that nobody should feel, you know, and that's kind of what scares me going on a little tangent about social media and going on TikTok and everything else. It's like, you know, drink water and lose 10 pounds in a week. And it's like, why are you teaching kids this?

This is not healthy. Like you do not want to, you know, waste 10 years of your life like I did. It's one of my greatest regrets in life is just, you know, waiting for 10 years to learn what healthy was and to be healthy. And it's like we're focused so much on like treating things that we're not focused on preventing from an early age. Yeah. So that's something that like really just, yeah, it's. one of the things that I stand for. You know, it's really, it's really interesting because I heard from a friend yesterday,

who's very healthy and very, and very fit. She was like, you know, when you're about to eat something, ask yourself, is this going to serve me or is this going to inflame me? Right. And, you know, more often you want to eat the foods that serve you, you know? I mean, should you cut out everything completely? No, I don't think anybody should really, you know, take that approach. There's some people that can do that for me.

I can't do it because. I go into that binge. I go into a perfectionist complex where I'm like, ooh, no, I have to hit my macros. Like if I'm one over, it's like me at the gas tank at the gas station, you know, I can't end on a one. I have to end on a zero. You know, it's just like that mentality with macro. So I think, you know, having healthy habits, learn behaviors and things like that. And if you learn bad behaviors, you know, it's it's the ability to, I guess, acknowledge that.

right like you have you know it took you some time but it's like okay now i'm on this route where like i'm healthy and you're thriving like you and i have had some amazing conversations i'm i feel so blessed to know you and you know um my wife knows exactly who i'm talking about when i bring your name up you know because i i just respect your story so much and if you're willing to dive a little deeper into your story um i would love for you too um i know you talk about wasting 10 and I know you kind of went through some treatments and stuff. I want you to be able to talk about that if you're comfortable. I know I put you on the spot, but I didn't mean to,

but I just want you to be able to maybe help a listener that might be tuning in. Yeah, of course. So senior year of high school, I actually got home from my summer house and my dad told us that he had an affair. And my way to cope was through eating egg whites and steamed veggies and running on the treadmill until, like, I was physically in pain. And I would do this every single day after school. And ultimately, you know, I kept losing weight, losing weight, losing weight.

And my school gave me an ultimatum that I had to go impatient, which is going into a hospital unit to essentially gain weight. So I ended up doing that senior year of high school. Like the thing you don't want to do, you know, I waste a, I like missed out on every single meaningful event. And the first day that I got in, they had like a meeting. And the one girl said, like, all I want to do is die. And I just remember calling my parents and saying, like, get me out of here.

Like, I don't want to die. Like, I'll do it. Like, I will get healthy on my own. And they wouldn't listen to me. Like, they told me that in order to stay in high school, like, I had to go through the program. I feel like every single day I cried. It was just terrible. It's just sleeping in the hospital, you know, being on a unit with six girls with locked doors and locked bathrooms.

Like you would have to ask to use the bathroom. Because you don't want you to purge. Yeah. Yeah. And I didn't have that issue personally. So it was kind of just like it just felt like in you mean. At two o'clock in the mornings, they would actually go into the rooms with flashlight. to see if you were still alive.

Oh, wow. Yeah, it just was not like what I would want anybody to go through. It was terrible. It was a terrible experience. I felt like after a while, it's like I started eating the food just to get out. You're like, all right. It's just like whatever. Like I'm going to, you know, eat whatever here.

And then when I get back home, like I'm going to get healthy on my own. Like same kind of mentality. and I feel like they never really showed me how to balance anything. They didn't show me how to balance exercise and food. And they didn't like really give you nutritious food. Really? Yeah. What do they give you?

You could choose what you wanted, but mostly it was like pizza, I had like French toast, but it was like- They wanted you to gain weight. It was like crappy hospital food. And they would make, like, ridiculous rules because of people with other disorders. So they wouldn't let you cut an apple into more than four. They wouldn't let you leave any condiments, like, in the container. So I actually watched somebody, like, eat butter out of a container.

Like, so, like, there's a lot of things that they had down as rules that were, like, ultimately led to more disorder behaviors. Sure. Yeah. That's just crazy. must have been like as a 17 or 18 year old young woman. That's an experience. Right. But here's the thing though, too. Like I know at the time, Michelle, it's like, this is horrible. Get me out of here. Yeah. But now you are inspiring and coaching other people to get through this stuff. And without that

actual life experience and living that, you just, it's not a, it's not a thing where you can empathize with somebody. You can sympathize because you've been there. You've watched. You've, walked 10 miles in their shoes. And so this is that actually as painful as it was and as shitty as it was, like it served you. You know, do you ever sit there and think of like how grateful you are to have gone through that because it gives you the opportunity to help so many people now? All the time.

All the time. Like I look at my life and it's like, you know, I wish I would have known then what I know today. And it's just like, how is this even my life? Like, because 10 years ago, I was an. very much different place. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I can tell you from outside looking in, you know, it looks like you're living your best life. And it's always fun to see. And that's why I connected with you so easily is because like, dude, she's, she's being vulnerable. She's being authentic. She's enjoying her life. She's owning her shit, right?

And she's saying, screw it. Let's do it. So let's talk about that because that is your motto. Screw it. Let's do it. Right? Or screw it, just do it. Which one is it?

Screw it and do it. Screw it and do it. So talk to us about that. Where did you come up with that? Okay. Well, after I went inpatient twice, took many medical leaves from college, graduated everything.

I realized that I was struggling still with anorexia. Like nothing. It was more of a band-aid situation than anything. Like I just felt like everyone was throwing out meal plans and everything else, and I wasn't able to follow them. And I ultimately ended up going for outpatient help. So I would see like a therapist and a dietitian, and they would monitor my weight and everything else.

At the time, I was very committed on, you know, changing my life around. And I was very honest. So I didn't do what most people did and wear like 10 million bracelets on the day of weighing. And because I was eating more, I lost weight. And they kicked me out of getting help. So I was able to see my nutritionist.

I was unable to see my therapist. I was on my own. your metabolism started kicking because you're eating yeah yeah yeah and I tried to explain to that like what was going on and they're like no no no this is like hospital regulation this is it so for them I was like a number you know it's like if I died it wouldn't look good on there so it's like okay well you know Michelle like what do you do like do you give up and just you know be part of the statistic or do you say screw it and just do it and just do it and show other people that it could be done.

And it's like, okay, you know, I'm going to try. I'm going to try and show others that it can be done because this is not right. Like this is not right that this is happening. You know, the medical system that's supposed to be helping people is not helping people because they feel like they're beyond help. And it's not the case. So screwed and do it was like for me to stop like overthinking everything.

Yeah. Like I would look at like dark chocolate and I would be like oh my god that's like the worst food ever like I can't eat it because then I'll feel guilty. So I would wait until tomorrow and tomorrow would never come. So by saying screwed and do it, I would be like, okay, you know what? I'm going to do it because if I don't do it today, I'm not going to do it tomorrow and I'm never going to get the life that I really want. It's a good point.

I think, you know, there's a lesson in there. And that's something that I coach my clients on is it's just do, just go, right? look, see, move. Like if you wait, you know, the moment's going to pass. If that moment passes, somebody else is going to snatch that opportunity. And while I believe in living in a world of abundance, I also believe that we have to take control of our current situation so we can impact our future situations.

And, you know, it's very important. I mean, that's a very good point, you know, because, you know, first of all, dark chocolate's the best chocolate you can eat. It's actually healthy for you. But it's so crazy, like to have that mentality, not crazy, but because I have that as well, right? You look at something like, oh, I should probably not eat that. You know, then you're constantly working up your resiliency muscle

or your, that I can't even think of the word right now, but you're the willpower. You're working on that willpower all the time. And every time you pass the fridge or past the pantry, like you're taking like deposits out of that, you know, you're taking stuff out of that willpower bank. And then the moment that you're weak, when something comes across your path,

it's like game on, right? That's the kind of what I go through. But no, that's really cool. So like, you know, I want to touch on because I want, you know, obviously I could talk to you all day. But what I want you to really touch on right now is because you are helping other people, you're coaching other people to do this. So what are some of the things that, you know,

the audience can look for in your programs? In my programs? Well, I teach, like, I feel like one of the things that a lot of people got, wrong with me was that they focused on one aspect of life. And it really wasn't one thing. You know, my career was a mess. My nutrition was a mess. Everything was a mess. So I teach like more of a holistic approach. So nutrition, you know, mindset, you know, everything, you know, business, social media, everything, getting your story out there. I want to teach people how to become their best selves, to reinvent themselves, to overcome their fears.

I love it. I love it. It's needed. I mean, it's needed out there. I mean, it's one of those things where, you know, every, people need to understand that things are not mutually exclusive. So the decisions I make in my career are going to affect my nutrition, right? They're going to affect every single thing. And, you know, some people like to think, like, oh, no, no, no, though, that my new, my workouts have nothing to do with how I approach my relationship with my wife and my kids or my husband and my kids or my career. They're all connected. right i mean like truly like it people need to understand that you need to be dialed in on every single thing and give effort intentional effort on everything your spirituality your financial your relationships your physical all if if there's one crack in that chain like it nothing works yeah i mean you can get short-term results right i think you can agree on that but i think the longevity of your results are compromised you know Yeah. What is the one thing that you've learned,

the biggest piece of adversity that you've gone through that has taught you the biggest lesson in your journey so far? That's a tough one. There's just so many. I would say that any single point in your life that you could change the way that it is, that you can reinvent yourself, that you can relearn the things that you learned.

Just because, you know, your past looks bad doesn't mean that your future has to look that way. That's a good one. Yeah. We can mic drop on that one. In fact, we'll land the plane. I'll tell you what, that is very, the reinvent is super, super impactful. Because it doesn't matter where you're at right now, right?

We have the choice every single day to evolve, to become better or get worse. I don't believe in staying the same. I don't, I think, I think being stagnant is decaying, right? If we're not getting better, then we're getting worse, period. So every single day we have that choice to make, right? And I love that you said that because I want everybody listening to really write that down. You can reinvent yourself every single day. And I think that's what successful people do, right?

No matter, I mean, again, on a day-to-day basis when you're coaching your clients, you might have to reinvent something every single day. like, hey, this may not work for him. This may not work for her. I need to reinvent this part of my program. And if you're not reinventing, then you're not getting better. Yep. Right?

Awesome. So a couple more questions. Okay. How can my audience, and I'm going to put these in the notes, but, you know, tell the audience how they can connect with you, interact with you, and possibly seek you out for some mentorship. I'm on Instagram as Michelle Christine Weinstein, and that's with One L. and I know my name is horrible to spell.

So I'm assuming that you're going to put it down below. And I also have a website, Michellechristine Weinstein.com. Perfect. I will put those in the show notes. And the next thing I can ask you is, what else can I do to support you? Just, yeah, just as you've been doing.

I feel like every single person needs someone who believes in them more than they believe in themselves. And I think that you gave that to me. So I appreciate that more than you. Yeah. Wow. That makes me emotional, to be honest with you. Yeah.

Let me take a moment here. Thank you. Thank you. You know, it's one of those things where I find something special on somebody, then I really, really like to, you know, make them feel that because or allow them to feel that because I don't, I don't think there's any other way. You know, so. Damn. I feel very humbled by that. So I appreciate you. Well, guys, listen, I hope you guys enjoyed the show with my friend Michelle here. One last favor for us. If you liked anything, you heard anything that you liked that made an impact on you, please share the show in your social medias and tag us both. We will gladly reshare them on our socials. And until next time, guys, you guys, you guys have a great day and y'all be safe. Take care.