Determined Society with Shawn French | Adversity & Mindset - SuperHuman Fathers with Kyle Carnohan

Episode Date: December 12, 2022

So many people are not even aware of the constant cycle of self-sabotage that they are in. They end up lying to themselves about their situation, leading to internal turmoil because of the misalignment with their inner warrior and conscience. Today’s guest helps men that are complacent in their marriage, fitness, fatherhood, and life in general, and turns them into literal “Superhuman Fathers”, by leading them down a path of massive personal development.  Kyle Carnohan started @superhumanfathers as an Instagram account a few years ago to hold himself personally accountable to stop the ongoing cycle of self-sabotage in his life. He found himself being short with his kids, sarcastic with his wife, and lazy around the house. He would use excuses to get out of being his best self. “I'm stressed from work” “I need a break.” “I have anxiety and depression”, the list continues. Sound familiar? Through sharing his struggles and journey through Instagram, Kyle began connecting with other fathers with the same shortcomings. Through his transformation to becoming his best self, other struggling men began to ask Kyle for advice out of frustration with their own lives, and thus Kyle’s coaching practice “SuperHuman Fathers” was born.  In this episode, Kyle shares his passion for his mission to help men ditch the darkness in their lives that is affecting their relationships, their family, and their disappointment with the person in the mirror. Lying to ourselves puts us in a state of being at battle with our best-self, leading to self-doubt, anxiety, and depression. We were made for so much more than that. Learn to face the truth, and completely transform your mind, body, and spirit. Tune in for more!   Key highlights: Shawn’s opinion of scripts What are the dangers of lying to yourself, and how do we stop?  His advice to people that are always focusing on self-love and not the reality of their situation How your energy and darkness affects your kids and wife What does a leader and a man do?  The importance of checking in with yourself that you are doing what you said you would do  Detaching yourself from the results of your life so that your family doesn’t have to worry about getting different versions of you How Kyle learned from the mistakes he made in his marriage and overcame them The importance of having a culture of massive service in your relationship with your partner or anyone Your spouse needs to see continuous improvement so she can respect and believe you Your two options in a relationship are lead or leave How Kyle started his coaching business “SuperHuman fathers”  Kyle’s advice to people that are in a constant cycle of self-sabotage Getting in the “room” with people that can help you Connect with Kyle Carnohan: Instagram: @superhumanfathers Website: superhumanfather.com Connect with Shawn French: Instagram: @theshawnfrench Website: theshawnfrench.com Facebook group: The Determined Society Twitter: @theshawnmfrench YouTube: The Shawn French Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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I just think I need like a mental break today and I need to take some time because of self-love. What would you say to those people? Go in the mirror and really try to lie to yourself. Listen to how you actually feel. All the reasons why you don't respect yourself. Listen to it while you try to lie to yourself and tell yourself that, I'm good with my fat body. I'm good with my reactions with my family. I'm good with my financial situation.

Are you? Are you really? And if you're not, your body is not in alignment with the true warrior that you were meant to be. And your actions are not in alignment with your conscience. If you get those two things lined up, you're unstoppable. What's going on, everybody? Welcome back to another episode of the podcast, The Determined Society. My name is Sean French.

And before I get started on introducing my amazing guest today, I want to remind you guys to, if you like this show and you're hearing this for the first time, hit subscribe, like the show, share the show, leave a review. We'd love to see it. That's the only thing I ask. I don't have ads, bleeding your ears to death, and all this other bullshit. So I'd appreciate it. But man, with me today, I have somebody that I held close to my heart. He's a good friend of mine. We met about a year ago. And I just love what he's doing for fathers all over the world. Just global fucking superhuman fathers. This gentleman takes a father who is complacent in his marriage and in his fitness and in his fatherhood

and turns these people into literal superhuman father. So today I have with me, guys, my boy, Kyle Carnahan. What's up, buddy? Man, intro going to already get me goosebumps, make me cry, bro. Hey, dude, here's the thing.

Just so everybody knows, that intro is freestyle, just so you know. Everything I do is freestyle. And I think that's what people don't understand. It's like, how do you, and it's funny because I was on a podcast last week, and it just aired today. and the clip that came out

it said, Hey, Sean, so how do you feel about scripts? And my response was, fuck a script. Yeah. And here we are, man,

because I don't think life is scripted. It's completely unfiltered and unscripted. Every single day in our marriage, in fatherhood, in our business, in corporate America, the moment you walk out that fucking door, it's unscripted,

man. And you have to be able to pivot and maneuver at any point in possible. So I love doing the freestyle stuff. That's the least I can do. Just don't do it for a wedding speech. I've done that. That doesn't work out so well.

Although maybe you could pull it off. Oh, bro. I've done plenty of best man speeches without paper. Damn. Yeah. Hey, for a mere mortal, don't do that. Don't do that. Like, oh, I got us.

I'll just wing it. Oh, shit. It's a gift, man. You're straight up. It's a gift. It is what it is. Yeah. I own it.

And you're talking for a long time. You've been in sales for a long time. you've been using that yapper and practicing. Yeah, dude, it's just, it's one of those things where I've, I paid so much close attention. You know, so I grew up and my dad was like, hey, children would be seen and not fucking heard. Shut up. But what I did was, I didn't, wasn't there to be seen. I was there to learn and listen.

So I listened to how adults interacted on a consistent basis. And it just, I formed a ton of new gifts, right? And it's something that I've taken with me throughout my adulthood. But you know what, man, I want to, for those of the people that are listening to the show that don't know who you are, right? They haven't come across your content yet, which, by the way, after this show, I hope you take a hard 180, y'all, because this guy puts out some real shit. And he's changing lives all over the United States of America and the globe. So tell my listeners a little bit about who you are. I'm a scared little boy in a grown-ass man's body trying to raise five kids and trying to hold down a coaching business.

I'm a fireman and I'm just trying to get through life, bro. Like, I'm trying to figure out the way to do it to have the maximum impact and take advantage of every opportunity in my way amidst my own internal fears, insecurities and the chaos around me. Like, this is, this is real shit. All of you out there that think you're fucked up, yes, you are, but so are all of us. We all are. So just stop and realize like you're not special. All your problems, there are problems too. That little voice in your head that tells you you're fucked up.

You can't accomplish anything. You can't do anything. I hear it loud and clear all day long. You can overcome that. You can figure it out. I think that's one of us talk about that really quickly because first of all, I loved the explanation of who you were, a scary little boy in a grown man's body. I, you know, I would be remiss if I didn't say I feel the same way.

And we've had many conversations you and I. And this is the first time the actual public is. going to hear one of our amazing conversations. Guys, for those you listening, guys and girls, I've had numerous exchanges with Kyle, you know, whether it's text message, whether it's voice note, whether it's face. It doesn't matter. I've had over a year right around of interactions with this gentleman. And he is every bit as advertised talking about, he understands that he's not perfect and

that he has insecurities and he fights every single day. But I'm very interested in you diving in a little bit like that because people would really love to puff their chest up and lie not only to themselves but those around them. And what are some of the dangers in doing that? Lying to yourself, you know, sitting silently in your pain and suffering and inner turmoil and never facing the truth that you need to change, that you're a warrior without a battle to fight, that you're miserable. Like, just accept it. And there's only one way. There's only one way to fix it. And that's every day to lean into it.

You have to. There's no other option. You will be miserable every day of your life and have massive self-doubt, depression, and anxiety, unless you earn the right to destroy it every single day. In fact, multiple times a day. Wow, powerful man, because here's the thing, you know, guys, when he's talking about leaning into it, you know, if you, if you were connected with Kyle on his, on his Instagram and his social media platforms, you'll see every morning, there's a picture of him at 4 a.m. or 3.30 a.m. whatever, in the mirror. And it's in, and the captions always, I mean, he always looks like, you know, drizzled up, bagged up, mashed up assholes. He looks terrible. And it's truth, right? You wake up, no filter. And he always says, you know, my weakness is screaming or something like that. And, and, you know, you get up and you do the work regardless of how you feel, you know. And so walk the listeners that may not be completely subscribed to that thought process. There's a lot of people listening

right now that say, well, you know what, man? I just think I need like a mental break today and I need to take some time because of self-love. What would you say to those people? Go in the mirror and really try to lie to yourself. Like, and just listen. Like, listen to how you actually feel. Like, all the things that you hate about your life and all the reasons why you don't respect yourself. Listen to it while you try to lie to yourself and tell yourself that, I'm good with my fat body, I'm good with my reactions with my family, I'm good with my financial situation. Like, are you?

Are you really? And just sit there and listen. And if you're not, that's where your inner turmoil is coming from. You're not in alignment. Your body is not in alignment with the true warrior that you were meant to be, your true self, and your actions are not in alignment with your conscience. If you get those two things lined up, you're unstoppable. Oh, man.

I mean, like, we're seven minutes into this, y'all. And there's already been like, you know, 30 second clip, maybe multiple 30 second clips of conversation that are impactful that can help you through not just your day, but your life. The one that really just grabs my attention and shakes the shit out of me is my reactions with my family. whole fat body, I'm not where I need to be. I'm not the worry I should be is every day process.

Neither, bro. Right. We working on it every day. The one thing that drives me to almost like tears on a day to day basis is I can count at least a half dozen times every single day if I'm being conscious about it of poor reactions towards my children and my wife. Yeah. Let's talk about that.

So what are father's struggles? One, apathy, right? Your dad, like low energy, frowny face. That energy, like, that is what you're creating in your children. They're going to emulate you. And your wife lives a blah life because she's married to a rock. You just, and I don't mean a good rock, because you want to be a rock. You want to be steady.

I know what you mean, man. There's a lot of negative energy that people, like, husbands can give off on a day-to-day basis. I don't think as men, everybody's aware of that. No, it's hard to be aware of it. It just kind of happens. Like, I still get trapped in it sometimes where I'm, like, stuck in my own head and my face is like, like, looks like thinking face. Like, angry.

Yeah. Like, I'm like, my kids are looking at me. Is dad pissed? And my wife's, like, dad's pissed. And I'm just thinking about, like, what I'm going to eat for dinner. But that's the energy we're putting off. That's the person, you know? So, like, what if the dad, like, comes home from work and he's just, like, gets his head right?

And he walks in the door and he's like, dad's hole it's a party time come here baby gives his kid his wife a kiss picks her up off the ground you know and then goes to his kids picks him all up it gives them knuckles like what are you guys doing how was school you guys got homework tonight what are we doing tonight if you got your homework done like you guys want to go to the park you want to throw the ball like what's up let's go you know and you might be drained like drained from your day and you might be stressed You might have some financial stress too. Like that financial stress that eats you.

It's like your brain's in a knot and you wake up with it and you go to bed with it. It keeps you up at night. Your kids don't care. Your wife doesn't need that inner turmoil. That's yours. And for yours to deal with, like with your boys, with your group. Like you need to have a group of men that you can talk to about this stuff, by the way. If you don't, you have to be able to purge it and talk about it.

But, man, you don't want to stretch it. dress your wife out and your kids, you know. And so you got to be that energetic, loving leader that they need, even regardless of what's going on in your life, whatever chaos is going on inside you. I say the darkness is inside you is yours, not theirs. Oh, wow. Dude, it's so funny because like this weekend, it was, I think, Saturday. And then even yesterday, there was a couple moments in time where I was just exhausted, bro.

I don't want to fucking do anything. Like you talk about that inner turmoil or just I'm stressed. My brain is twisted. Yeah. There's worry for the future. It's like, yeah, everything.

Like what the fuck? Like I'm not doing. All you see is death and like destruction. Yeah. It's like, I'm not doing enough. What the fuck is this? This sucks.

This fucking sucks. And I'm like, my daughter came up to me yesterday. Let's talk about this one yesterday. I want to go out on my scooter daddy. I'm like, in my mind, I'm like,

I just got off calls. I've had a horrible fucking day. And I just, and I had, and I, actually I, you know, got,

it was after I went to the gym. I had a shitty day, went to the gym, came home, and I still wasn't right. And I did a leg workout. That's how bad I felt mentally yesterday. And,

you know, I have one more call. I'm finishing up. I walk in the house. She's like, I want to go on a scooter. You know the first thing I thought of? My boy,

Kyle. What the fuck would Kyle do? Oh, shit. I said, get your stuff. Let's roll. Let's roll. And we, I put her in her little helmet and her little scooter. This is me on my three year old.

And, you know, we go down the street. She's like, I want to go that way. I want to go all the way where we did on Saturday. I'm like, how do your legs feel? You do that? And we went and did it. And halfway down, she's like, I'm done. And I'm carrying her scooter back.

I'm carrying her helmet. But, you know, it was, it was that moment right there. So what you're talking about is like your children, first of all, didn't ask to be brought into this world. Okay. And so if you're a father, regardless of how you feel about yourself and how your day went, man, you got to show the fuck up. Yeah, man.

You really do. They just don't care, like, how hard your day was. They can't comprehend it. You're just going to look back and be like, dad was a dick. Like, they don't care how it was. Like, and what do you want to teach him? Like, you want to teach them how to be a leader and a man. what does a leader and a man do?

He does what must be done regardless of circumstance. Right? And the other thing is like, this is why you have to structure your life in a way where you're proud of yourself, regardless of the outcome. So like when you can detach from the results and it's hard to do,

especially like if you're in sales, right? Right? Right out all your balls and just be like, dude, I hit brick walls all day today. And you can let it affect you in a negative way. But if we're actually stepping back and looking at everything that's going on and you're like, okay, listen, I'm going to show up. I'm going to do the work.

I already know that. I have a track record. Like showing up, doing the work over time has results. Now, amidst that line of time of working, yeah, there's going to be ups and downs. That's just life. Understand the ups and downs are going to be on an upward trajectory. And it's hard when you're in a dip, even though you look back. five years and you're like man we've come so far but any dip we start to get all crazy and

depressed to freak out when we we have to detach from the results and just look at the man like did I do what I was supposed to do today like that's it like for me it's like did I wake up the time that I was supposed to wake up did I do my personal development time the way that I said I was did I get my workout in and did I give it everything and then throughout the day did I do everything in work that I said I was supposed to do. And when I said I was going to be done with work, did I give my family the energy that they deserve and that I promised myself that I would give them? And throughout that time, throughout the day, did I control what I ate?

Did I stick to my nutrition plan? And was I in control of my emotional reactions? Was I steady with my family? Did they know the dad that's coming home? Or are they worried, like, which dad's going to walk in the door? I hope you had a good day at work. I hope he got sales today. How is work, honey?

Did you, did you get any sales? No? Oh, shit. Hunker down, kids. Angry dad's coming home. Like, that's bullshit.

Yeah, man. And you know, I think, dude, like, you're saying all these things, man,

it's just like, these are things that I've struggled with over my life. Right? It's like, like, I'll never be mean to my children.

I'm never, that's not how I, that's not how my emotions present themselves. They present themselves in, you know, the lack of confidence, the scarcity. me like, oh my God, what am I going to do?

Thankfully, in corporate sales, I've always been able to make money. You know, I think my struggle comes in when you're starting a new coaching business. That's where the stress comes from. You know, but I want to back up a little bit because, you know, you talked about detaching from the results. I think that's super important because it's something that I've always done in my, I keep going back to corporate America because that's my experience. I always have a sales process. I know how many people I'm going to call a day.

I know exactly how I'm going to do the reachouts. I know my follow-up process. I know my calendar cadence. It's all done. But yet, sometimes in transferring that knowledge is difficult because you think, oh, man, it's totally different. No, it's really not. So here's the thing.

For those of you listening, my job and my business and your job in your business is to make the action the goal. If you can make the action, the goal, provided that it's actually action that'll provide results over an extended period of time as long as you can master the monotony of being consistent every day. And I'm not talking about a week. I'm talking about like years. I'm talking about months, years, decades. That type of consistency yields results, not the short term bullshit. So if you could do that, and just like Kyle's saying is the non-negotiables that he has on an every single day basis, we all have them, whether we are acknowledging them or not. We have those non-negotiables.

Are we doing them? And if we do that, we do it. And if we do that, we do it, we have them, and if we do them, do we do them to its completion? Do we give everything we got? And if we can say that every single day, then you win constantly. The results are going to show up. Just like, oh, here I am. When do we get frustrated? It's when we want what we don't deserve and we haven't earned. Sure. Yeah. Right away, instant gratification. Yeah. Like we're, why isn't this working? And it's like, you've been doing this for two weeks, bro. Like, you know, it's like, it's like, finally I'm going to hunker down and I'm gonna like I'm gonna start working out and eating right in the three days later you're like yeah I haven't really lost much you're like oh shit you didn't get fat overnight motherfucker

and on Tuesday you ate a pizza it's like yeah man work man you got to stick to something long term that's the way the universe works you know what would you yeah what would you say man like going back to the whole marriage right you you you really advocate on hey if you're a dick apologize your wife run apologize man you know it's the most painful thing but apologize you know have you and your wife always have that type of i guess interaction or tell us about that man no like when we were first married i was a lazy piece of shit so like i just did i was unaware i was unaware many of you out there are very unaware of like the havoc you are reeking on your marriage like your defensiveness like so goddamn sensitive like my wife will tell you i was very sensitive every time she'd

tell me something I needed to do better at, I would just like dig my heels in and tell why she was wrong. And what about you? You. And then attack. It's like, my God, it's embarrassing. It's like basic relationships. It's like just being cordial, being nice, like cleaning up after yourself, like doing more

for the family than anyone else. Like the father more in the house than anyone. So like, look at your wife. Look how much she does. double that shit. Take stuff off of her plate. Find out the stuff that stresses her out the most. And after you work a fucking 15-hour day,

come home, play with the kids, and do it before you go to bed. Is your marriage worth it to you? Like, people say their marriage and their family is the most important thing in the world. And it's bullshit. They're not showing that, right? They're not showing that.

And their actions. That's the biggest thing. Talking, trust me, I know, because I was that guy. I would leave piles of clothes everywhere. I would never, do the dishes, never help cook, never help clean, because I made the money working like 36 hours a week. I thought I was like killing it as a man because I was paying the bills.

Yeah. Some part-time job. It's just like if you want your family to flourish, you have to do the most. And there's the slow, the super human father's slogan. It's in the back of our shirts right there. We do the most. We need the least. You know, it's funny because there's a lot of men that get trapped with feeling like they need more. And when they get home from work or whatever it is throughout the day, they like to keep score with shit. Yeah. You know, talk to us a little bit about, you know, your thoughts on keeping score on your partner because I think it's, I think it's a trap, dude. And I'm not going to say I haven't done it. Of course I fucking have. You know, like for, for us in my house, like, I do the dishes because I enjoy it. Like, I love to grill every night.

You know, I, I don't, that's my pleasure. That's what I want to do. But then there's other areas where I can I find myself sometimes going in that mindset of keeping score when she comes down stairs, hey, can you do this for me? I'm thinking, like, my reaction inside my brain. And I'm sure it comes out on my face because I'm constantly reminded of it, right? It is like, I'm comparing. Yeah. Hey, I keep score too.

I keep score how many times I say, absolutely I can do that. And then do more. Like, I will do more than you. Like, that's how I keep score. I'll take care of you more than you take care of me. And so if she turns it up, I'm going to turn it up even more. And she's also very competitive. And so over the years, we started to both have this outlook towards each other of just

like massive service to each other, trying to outdo each other by serving each other. And that's what you want to culture in your family. Like, you know, and I learned that from the firehouse, man. I learned that from the firehouse because anytime you do something for someone who's a good fireman, you're going to find it double back to you. Whether you lend them money or give them a sandwich, you're going to find two sandwiches. or double the money in your account. A good fireman.

Not all are like that, but there's this sense of, you're not going to eat. If there's, if there's like a bunch of cookies on a plate and cookies eat way too many firemen, fucking firemen stop being fat fireman, stop eating the cookies. But the point is, if there's one cookie left, it stays there. And then it'll get halved. No shit. It halfed. No one will take the last piece.

That's hysterical. So a lot of these things I learned just by being around good firemen, because we have to learn to live together in tight quarters with a bunch of angry men. Yeah. You know, and so you learn how to take care of each other and serve each other so that it works and you enjoy life together. And that's really what taught me to bring that home to my family, man. Yeah, that's selfless behavior. I enjoy that. The thing that, you know, I want to really highlight is, is when you and your wife started going on that journey of, you know, let's just call it outperforming each other.

over delivering, right? Because a lot of times when a husband or wife will make an adjustment in their marriage, there's a lot of people that go into it like, well, I tried this once and I didn't get a result. Yeah, yeah. They say, fuck it. And they, you know, like, guilty is charged, man. I've done that. I think it's so important to understand that your spouse needs to see this as a continuous improvement or it's just a good moment. It's all it is. She doesn't respect you or believe you. and so she's going to test you. I'm going to test you by trying to piss you off. And she might actually just be a bad person.

That might be the case too. Or how much more important is it for you to lead and show her what a good man looks like? Like we think we have to be a piece of shit just because she is. Does that make any sense at all? Like how are you leading from the front when you're letting her response completely crush you and then you lose your mind. Yeah. And then you blame it on her.

Like, you chose her. So now lead her by example. And it might take years. But if you're committed to this relationship, guess what? Years from now, you're still going to be miserable if you don't get your shit together. So it's like, other than that, like then leave. Just leave. Those are your two options.

Lead or leave. That's it. That's it. And if you decide to stay, just go all in and accept all her faults. and then teach her by example and be patient and loving and lead your family without being emotionally affected by them. We need a logical man in the house. You know, it's a great point again.

I mean, so many gems dropped, brother. I mean, like this is, you know, minute 25 already and it feels like two minutes. And if the audience has not tuned out, then they are getting benefit, like benefit after benefit of this conversation. Let me straight up. I want you to go into a little bit, though, about your coaching business and what Superhuman Fathers is because, you know, it would be a crime not to make that a highlight of the show. Yeah, man, Superhuman Fathers has become a second family to me.

It's an organic growing brotherhood that had never had a plan of being started in the first place. I've always been obsessed with body composition change. Ever since I was a kid looking at G.I. Joe guys and freaking He-Man and stuff, you know, like I wanted to be jacked. And I've been given very skinny genetics. So it's been a long 20 years. You look good, man.

You're all jacked up, bro. You look great. Yeah, yeah. The legs still suffer. But, hey, I'll be a bull riding a chicken. It's all right. But, you know, but the point was I got into that. All right.

And then guys started asking me, hey, man, help me. Help me look like that. And I was like, cool. Yeah, I love it. So they started, especially as I started getting older with guys with families, started getting them ripped. And then all of a sudden, what did I see? Huh?

More confidence, more patience in the home, more sex, better connection with their wives. Wow. We have a happier, more fulfilled human from changing his body. But it wasn't, what I learned, it wasn't necessarily just the body. It was the habits and it was the discipline that bled over into the other things. Because if you can control your food, man, like, if you, you could control that food. I'm a food addict.

Yeah, we've had that conversation. We're both like that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if I eat one piece of pizza, I'm eating 10 pizzas. Like, I have a problem. But like, bro, like, I have a problem. But you can do this.

You can be a food addict. You can live ripped. Like, you can. Because I'm doing it. And it's a struggle for me every day. It really is. Like, I want to go eat some shit right now. But I wrote on my whiteboard.

exactly what I'm going to eat today. And I'm going to stick to that because the food is not going to heal me. It's just going to make me pissed off and angry with myself. I already know that. Yeah, man. It doesn't make it any easier, right? So this is part of the reason why I started superhuman fathers was my food addiction. And I saw the pain of men as they got older and they started to lose their fire and let

themselves go and fall into depression and anxiety and slowly die. And so guys started reaching out to me for help. And eventually I started charging. We turned into a business. We went from 30, 50, 100, 200, 300. We're over 350 guys now. We have multiple groups within the Super Bowl and Father's Brotherhood. We have the Vikings for the big boys.

They run the show. They are the leaders of the ship. So if you're like 260, 270 and above and you've got some serious weight to lose, we put you in with the Vikings. And then the rest of the group, we have you earn your way into what we call the Order of the Warrior Monk. The Order of the Warrior Monk is the place where you're getting close. You're almost there, but you're about to go into the quicksand. And we call the quicksand that because in order to get really, really, really, really lean the first time, you're going to go through some shit.

You're going to go through some physical pain. But what happens when you go through physical pain and you take it as a spiritual challenge, your life changes. You become a very powerful man. And eventually, you will change your body fat set point. I don't know if it's physical or mental. I think it's more mental. You have a temperature gauge of where you're happy with in your physique. You shrink it, you bring it down.

And now your level of acceptance has changed. Just like if your income increases, you expect more. So you expect to be lean. And when you expect to be lean and you learn the process of how to maintain that throughout your life, well, now you're walking around, jacked and lean all day. And now you don't have to worry about it anymore. That worry is gone because you figured it out. And then you can move here better things.

I think, you know, that worry haunts men every day. I mean, it, you know, it haunts them if they're on vacation going to a beach. It haunts them if, you know, the family wants to go to the pool or whatever it is. What would you say or how would you help somebody? Because there's some people here listening right now that need you, right? And they're listening to this episode like, man, I'm interested in, you know, connecting with this guy. This is what this show is about is highlighting people in their businesses, right? And what they've gone through.

There's that man right now listening. Imagine this. It's like, man, I almost get there. And then I self-sabotage. And then I wait for the right moment again. And I almost get there. And my temperature gauge of what I'm happy with never changes. So I cool myself down to just not get there because I want to be right about myself that I don't deserve to be lean.

I don't deserve to be jacked. How would you, what would you say to those people? Who do you surround yourself with? That would be my first. question. If you surround yourself with people that accept mediocrity and tell you you're just fine, you're just fine. Oh, you're just fine. But you know inside you're not, look at who you're around. That's probably the answer. It's a good point, man, because there's so many people out there that that just almost get there, right? And then it's like this peaks in valley, peaks and valley. It's

like the yo-yo, right? They're constantly trying to get to that point. I surrounded myself with guys that were doing it, leaner, more jack, more discipline than me. How do I increase my income? I go spend time with people that make way more money than me. And I pay them to be around them and to teach me. That's the answer, my friends. That is the answer. That's not the answer people want. And so let's dive into that shit.

Let's really dive into that. Yeah. You want to ask me how much money I spend every year on my own personal development? No. I mean, you can share it if you want. Go ahead. I don't care. I'm going to Warrior Con 4 Live, $10,000.

I thought that would be a great experience to kind of watch some men's groups that are doing some amazing things. I just paid Andy Elliott five grand for one day with my wife and him, and I paid him another eight, nine, for me and my son to go in February. We're going to the Artae event in November. You go to Nashville? Yep.

Nice. Last month, I just finished up a mastermind with Big Wes and Badros. That was 15 grand. Like, how do you think we get like this? It's not by reading books, and it's not by thinking about it and writing a vision board. It's getting around people that are doing it, we'll hold you accountable. That's it. I love that.

I think the biggest thing that the audience could take away from this is like, if you want to get in the room, you got to pay for it. Straight up, you cannot. What can we offer them? We have no value to give them. They have so much value to give us. We have nothing. Our presence doesn't give them value. They're so elevated that it's like, they're like, hey, they're doing us a favor by giving

us the option to pay them to be around them. And then they're like, dude, like to them, it's like, thanks. Like, you're validating me, like my value. Like, no, I'm indebted to you to help you. Like, I want to provide you what you need. Like, what do you need? Yeah, you know, that's the biggest thing, man, is, and that's what I really just want to focus on right now because, you know, I've invested in.

the last year, $70,000, right? And I mean, I don't feel I'm exactly where I need to be, right? So I have to look at that. And I have to have that. I have to accept that responsibility. Like, okay, your picker might be broken, dude. You know, again. And so, but people will go, I just want it for free. Like, how can I get in the room with these people? And dude, there's, there are some instances where you get lucky, right? Where, you know, you and I had a conversation that we're not going to mention names. but I have an in-person interview with the biggest baddest dude in the industry, in my opinion, right? Right now. Big dude.

And it was just a simple, I did a simple Instagram video and send it to him. I'll sit down with this guy, you know, in January. It can happen like that. But you know what will probably happen out of that? Yeah, what's the power behind that? It's the relationship. And so he scratches your back. And here's the thing.

It's like, okay, now I'm already thinking. like, okay, this guy is doing me a solid. He doesn't have to. What does he have that I can be involved in? Yes. And have a plan for it. You give, you give, you give, you give, you give, you give, you give. And then the magic happens. That's where people that are very successful understand that the magic behind success is in giving more than you receive. And weird how marriage is the same. Weird how fatherhood is the same weird that building a physique is the same yeah man the same principles man it's just it's it's epic brother it truly is because you know that right there it what people need to understand is you are not going to get to the next level you're seeing all these people on social media

or an entrepreneur magazine gq whatever the fuck the publication is like they did not get there alone do you you need people yeah and there might be someone out there that's like just a savage that's done amazing things on his own. That's not you. No. It's not you. It ain't fucking me. I can tell you that much right now.

Like, like, it's not anyone that's listening here. Like, you need help. You need guidance. You need coaching. You need masterminds. Like, you need people that have done it and help you to get to where you want to go. If you invest in all that and invest in yourself, dude, dude, the sky's limit.

Dude, I'm close to making a million bucks this year. Fucking congratulations, man. Like, that's 18 months. I'm a fireman. I'm not an entrepreneur, but what did I do? I surrounded myself by masters of the craft that helped me, one, become this man. Like, become the man that can speak, that can set the example, that will work harder, that will be more disciplined than the people he leads.

Like, if you want to be a leader of men, you have to have something to offer them. And the best thing you can offer them is your example. That's number one. And then two, like, how to do it. There's no way to know. you'll take 30 years just figuring out like 1% unless you go to the guy who's done it for 30 years. And he's like, oh, yeah, skip all that bullshit. Let me get you there in 30 days.

And it's like, oh, that was a good investment. Yeah. Right. And that's the thing, man. There's something that, you know, I want to do with you. And I can't, I don't know exactly what it's called, but BK has this Squire program. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm going to do that with my son. We were going to go to the one in, um, North Carolina, but it's the same day as the RTA event. But they have one just for the dudes. Oh, shit. Okay. Here's what I'm saying. I want to set a date from a year from today.

Like, sometime in 2023. I can't get away from this, bro. Dude, Steve Eckert is my personal coach. You know, I've been just obsessed with learning from Bedros. Like, I've been hanging out with all those guys. I mean, listen, it's going to push me to the next level. You know, I'd like to do that with you by the end of 2023. Dude.

Shit. You know, and then Ray, Ray Cash Care was telling me in the elevator the other day. He's like, hey, he's like, I know you got a good thing going here. But he's like, I want to get you cold. I want to get you so cold. And I'm just like, I'm in the elevator looking at. I'm like, man, I'm a fireman. I do heat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's pretty gnarly, dude. I mean, I don't know. We'll talk offline about that. But I think that's something that, you know, I've been kind of thinking about for a long time. It's a very special, special thing they have going on, dude. It's really cool. Yeah.

And it really is life changing for these guys. I've heard their stories. And it's, I mean, that whole crew he's got is just, it's epic. Yeah. Yeah. Look, man, we got to land the plane here in a little bit. So I have a couple more questions I want to ask you. This has been impactful, right?

It's been a real conversation. And just like we mentioned, it's totally unfilled or totally unscripted. And we are going hard on this conversation and try, trying to provide as much value as we possibly can for the listener. So with that being said, how can my audience best support you? Oh, man, come sign up. Join superhuman fathers. Like, that was the message.

If we have what you want, this is the problem with a lot of people. They're like, I get on a call and you're like, I'm so miserable. Like, I just want to cut my fat off. I'm angry with my family. And then we get to price. And everyone's like, oh, okay. Yeah. All right.

let me think about it. And I'm like, you're not our guy. Not ready. I already know. I already know. Like the guy who is our people that actually gets results and like just kills it is like, I need this.

Like I need this. I don't care what it takes. I'm all in. And they're just like, let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Be a trigger puller. Pull the trigger. That's some good stuff, man. I appreciate you, dude. And I appreciate everything you're doing. And I love just watching you grow. You know,

the fact, I remember when we met, you had like 100 people. Yeah. And just to give the audience some type of timeline, now you're up to 350. You told me you had 100 people. It was sometime in maybe 150. Okay. I believe if my mental timeframe is working, timeline is working, it was around March or April.

Yeah, probably. Yeah. That's how much I pay attention. I mean, that's the thing. It's like, you know, so for me, like that that right there man is just is invaluable and I know you and I are going to talk offline about your program we've already you know kind of started talking about it but man I just I'm so damn proud of you and I just love everything you're doing and brother the world needs you fathers

need you and more than that more than the father's needing you it's the wives and the children that need you yeah epic business brother epic thing that you're doing for the world create a message spread the message and then create more messengers and just I call it the gathering man we're gathering fathers and we're we're healing their families and curing their inner turmoil and results don't lie man the transformations like we got like 30 of them about to release 30 transformations that are insane we've been pushing these boys pushing them holding them back pushing pushing push love it dude I mean dude all the all the transformations are not just like And guys, listening, like, here's the thing.

I'm going to put all of his information in the show notes, obviously, links to his site. You'll click on his name and it'll take you right to his website, right? You're going to see, you know, his social media platform links, all that kind of stuff. But like, guys, when you see transformations, you have not seen transformations like this. So I encourage you to go to my boys' social media links, check them out, show them some love, send him a message. Just let him know where you found him and how you heard of him. You know, say, hey, I heard you on my boy Sean's show. And, you know, there's not a heart bigger than Kyle.

And the thing that I love about Kyle, and it's probably the thing that, you know, he's self-admitted to me, has too much of is empathy, right? And he's going to come with you with some harsh realities, but he's also empathetic because he's been there. You always want to be able to hire somebody and be led by somebody who's been through the shit just like you are. Yeah. If you're uncomfortable having your coach cry in front of you, then stay away. Yeah, he's an emotional dude, and I love it about him. So, Kyle, dude, thank you so much for hanging out with me and my audience for the last 45 minutes. I cannot wait to get this thing out there.

And again, guys, if you got anything out of the show, please share it and tag us both on our social media platforms. We'll definitely share it back to our show. And hey, don't forget to subscribe to the show and to leave a rating in a comment. So without being said, guys, I love you all. And again, Kyle, thank you so much, buddy. Thanks, Sean. You're the man, Bill. You got it, buddy. Peace, guys.