Determined Society with Shawn French | Adversity & Mindset - Surviving the Unthinkable: Cheryl Hunter's Journey from Trauma to Triumph

Episode Date: December 2, 2024

In this captivating episode of The Determined Society, host Shawn French sits down with Cheryl Hunter, a three-time bestselling author, four-time TED Talk speaker, and a powerful voice in overcoming adversity. Cheryl shares her harrowing story of being kidnapped overseas and the incredible journey to reclaim her life, transform her trauma into a mission, and help others do the same. The conversation explores the profound impact of authenticity and connection, the necessity of sharing one's true story, and how determination shapes resilience. Tune in for a session filled with inspiration, practical advice, and heartfelt moments that underscore the true meaning of living a determined life. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When it comes to what your family eats and drinks, you know your choices matter. You're the expert because you know what fits your life. And getting it right starts with good information. That's why America's beverage companies are sharing more information about our ingredients at good to know facts.org. No spin, no judgments, just the facts straight from the experts for more than 140 beverage ingredients. Visit good to know facts.org. You were overseas, you were in Europe, and you were approached by a couple gentlemen. You were approached by a couple of assholes.

Criminals. That told you they would promise to make you a model and you trusted them and then kidnapped you and pretty much left you for dead. The torture was real. While I was there, I remember praying. I thought, I am such a bad person. This is what God does to bad people. Wow. And I'm lying there on the cement and, you know, bloodied and.

beaten and the ringleader chopped off my hair. Why they let me go and I have no idea. I just got up as soon as the car was out of sight and ran for my life. Shire French, what up? Let the pain inspire me. I'm from all and everything I'm doing. Up until it's done, I'm for the entirety. I'm putting no for time. I'll be working. Just know I'm a go for mine because I earned it. They watch and I know it's time. I confirmed it. A whole society determined. Determines Society. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to another episode of The Determined Society.

I'm your host, Sean French. And before you go on and listen to this episode, if this is your first time listening, please, pretty please hit subscribe, whether it's on YouTube, Apple, or Spotify, leave us a nice review. Let us know what you'd like to hear more of and where we are doing well. We'd like to hear your feedback. Today, I have such an amazing guest. It's been a long time coming.

She's a three-time best-selling author, four-time Ted Talker. She's a TV writer, producer, and just overall, an unbelievable badass. My friend Cheryl Hunter, what is up? Sean, this is a long time coming. Dude, you know what's so funny? Like, for people like listening, it's like, people don't understand how relationships are actually formed. You know how I actually found out who you were?

No. dude you were all over my ad screen like Facebook you were just like in my face in my face I'm like Jesus okay fine who is this chick and then you know so it's like a sent you a follow and then eventually Todd Armstrong connected us um or you know that one agency and this is something that we've been trying to do for like a year in the meantime every time we since we both follow each other on social media. I know, you know, people diss it and are like, ah, there's no authentic connection created. I disagree. We're on opposite ends of the country and we're able to cheer each other on, see what your family's doing, see what your kids are doing, the great

work you're doing. And we're just like, yeah. We've been like school kids for the past month. Can't wait till the day. I'm like, November 21, I'm like, good God, can me. I'm like, I'm like, okay. that's fine it's something to look forward to and then it's funny the other day we were talking you said is it Thursday yet I'm like it can't get here quickly enough like it just it wasn't getting here fast enough but it's funny you mentioned you know there's no authenticity in social media and it's a funny topic and then we'll get to your background and everything but I wanted to touch base on that first since you said it I want to overlook it it's like it's it's like everything in life right it's what you make of it and if you can if you can genuinely connect with people like you really

give a shit about people, then you can make really good friends online. Like a lot of my friends that I have now are ones that I've never even met, but I trust them so much more than the people that live in the same town as me that call friend. Isn't it amazing? If we, in one regard, if you put aside all the quote distractions that would be there if you're meeting somebody in person, you can really. just get to the heart of the matter right away and and drop all the small talk and go straight for the heart i i mean i suppose that's right the truth in any context sure sure it i mean that's

a thing it's like a lot of people don't i don't think it's a sweeping general as i don't want to say everybody i say but there's a lot of people that don't truly leverage social media the right way with, you know, intentions that may not serve them building relationships. But like, you know, we've built this relationship over the last year or so, you know, and I know when in my business, it's time to go and like get services that you provide and we'll get into that. Like, I already, I already have my answer. I already know who to go to. Like, I don't, I don't have to sit here and go on Google and interview a thousand different people that don't get me. Because, like, that's the thing. Like, you've been watching for over a year.

to like you you already know exactly what I need I don't even have to ask you you probably already know so it's like but but beyond that is the relationship aspect and and it's just people are missing on it Cheryl they're missing a big opportunity there's a true opportunity a little teaser a spoiler of what we'll be discussing later but there's a true opportunity for connection that our own stories allow for And when we portray ourselves authentically and connect to that which is authentic about the other, it allows for, I think that which we long for most, which is real connection, a heart connection. And then like you said, if you map that on to business, why on earth would we go to anybody else

but the person we're already connected to from the heart? That's who we want to work with. Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point. I just think we have to be available for it, right? You have to be available to hold space in your heart for something that you haven't met. And it's this relationship or friendship that you're literally navigating on the freaking internet. But listen, it works for us.

It doesn't work for everybody. I think people that it does work for you, I mean, it's a talent. It's very, you know, you have to be a very talent. individual to create a relationship out of just a computer screen. It's really difficult. But I probably didn't articulate that well, but I think that people may understand where I'm going with it. Well, I also think that what you're saying not only applies to the digital world, but

applies in relationships in all contexts. there's ways often that each of us wants to portray ourselves as, you know, showing the good things, the best elements of who we are, putting a best face forward. Is it, you know, an idiom for a reason? And yet that's not what truly connects us. Right. And it's so funny because, like, you know, as I sit here digging and getting comfortable, is that's a.

misconception too. You know, I had somebody reach out to me and I and listen, like I'm sure it was genuine, right? I've known the guy a long time. But I hit, you know, a major milestone the other day in my show. I think you saw it. Like, we hit a million downloads this year. Like, that's massive, right? I haven't turned on the marketing machine yet. I haven't done anything. This is just, listens. This is like what, what I've created through my blood sweat and a lot of freaking tears, right? It's okay not to be perfect with finances. Experian is your big financial friend and here to help. Did you know you can get matched with credit cards on the app? Some cards are labeled no ding decline, which means if you're not

approved, they won't hurt your credit scores. Download the Experian app for free today. Applying for no ding decline cards won't hurt your credit scores if you aren't initially approved. Initial approval will result in a hard inquiry which may impact your credit scores. LifeLock. It's Cybersecurity Awareness Month, and LifeLock has tips to protect your identity. Use strong passwords, set up multi-factor authentication, report fishing, and update the software on your devices. And for comprehensive identity protection, let LifeLock alert you to suspicious uses of your personal information. LifeLock also fixes identity theft, guaranteed, or your money back. Stay smart, safe, and protected, with a 30-day free trial at lifeloc.com slash podcast. Terms apply.

And I get a message saying, hey, I just want to check in with you, make sure you're okay. Like, are you good? I know it looks like you're good, but are you good? You know, people that portray everything's okay. A lot of times, those are the people that you need to check in with. And I understood what are you just coming up. It's okay. No, hey, man, I'm good. It's a lot sometimes because you're constantly serving. You're always having to be on. But like, I look at that. I thought about it. I'm like, am I portraying everything's okay? I'm like, no, because if you listen to my show, I always talk about my failures, what I suck at and what I need to get better at what I'm struggling with. So to your point, the power of authenticity is just, it's a

premium right now. And I think that more people need to be in that spot where they can open up their heart and say, hey, this is truly where I'm at. You know, like, this is where I am. And, you know, I'm struggling in this area, but I'm going to celebrate my wins unapologetically. I think right now, like this moment in history, there's an opportunity. to do that like there never has been before. Because I think, you know, authors like Brunay Brown talking about the power of vulnerability or whether it's normalizing conversations around mental health and even celebrating mental health awareness month every year.

And now we're starting to create the opportunity for people to see. say, hey, I'm okay or I'm not okay, or here's what's authentically going on. And rather than in the past, how we would kind of awkwardly sidestep that with other people and ourselves. I mean, I hid my own story for well over a decade, like told nobody. But it's, so I'm meaning I'm not sitting in an ivory tower going, you people, you people who are. Don't tell who you are. She's not in an ivory tower. That's crazy.

That's crazy. Note to self, find out. But, you know, there's a real opportunity to share the whole of it now. And the whole of it told in a, in the right way, I think not only connects us to others, but galvanizes an audience and into movement. And I think it's really our access to everything. I agree. I agree.

Your story. Okay. Now audience listening, this could be a trigger for some of you guys, but this is a real life story. And I want to tell it and I want her to tell it because she dug deep down to her story and she's helped the world because of it. And she's brought a lot of awareness to this.

So you were overseas, you were in Europe, and you were approached by a couple gentlemen that promised to me. Gentlemen, that's the... You were approached by a couple of assholes. Criminals. Yep. Duke bag.

That told you they would promise to make you a model, and you trusted them. And they kidnapped you, pretty much left you for dead. Yep. And, you know, you can fill in all the gory details with your mind. me and a couple of men holding me captive, but it's it, the torture was, was real. And then while, while I was there in the, in the midst of it, I remember praying God, you know, I was a teenager. So, you know, my, my relationship with God was different than it is now, but it was, you know, kind of the old gray-haired man.

sitting up in the sky in the proverbial ivory tower, right? Yes. I know I've been a bad girl. I was thinking I was being punished. I had been mean to my little brother and sister. I took back to my parents. Right. I didn't.

When I would go out with my grandma into town or into the mall, she'd try to hold my hand and I wouldn't want to hold her hand. And I thought I'm being punished for these things. And the big one was when I was a kid not long before this in a freak accident, a baby drowned at our house. Oh, my God. And I thought, I thought I am such a bad person. This is what God does to bad people. Wow.

And so I'm lying there on the cement and, you know, bloodied and. beaten and all the things. Yes. And I just said, I'll be a good girl. I'll be a good person. I'll do better, right? Yeah.

I'll be happy all the time. I'll be nice to everybody. And then they take me. So weird. The ringleader chopped off my hair. before why they let me go and I have no idea, but I'm then dumped in this plot of land, lying there in the dirt,

the best I can come up with, they're driving away and I play dead. That was the best sort of survival solution I could come up with. And then I just got up as soon as the car was out of sight and ran for my life. But I'm there. I'm alive. and I'm now contending with the fact that, wait, oh, oh, oh, oh, I told God I was going to be happy.

How? I felt ironically, Sean, more captive than before because now the captivity was between my ears. I now was replaying the tapes of the brutal, brutalization, the violence. the, all of it. And I wanted to get back at them. I wanted to, I didn't know how I foolishly, just innocently thought there was a way to get back to life it was like life like it was beforehand. And once I realized, okay, maybe that can't happen.

The best I could do was pretend it didn't happen. Is that what you would get up with? And is that what you ended up? That was the best I could do. I was a teenager. I was like, I'm just, I can never,

I realized I could never tell anybody. Well, how old were you? No, 18. Hmm. I had my birthday, my 19th birthday when I was there.

So I was 19, I guess, when they let me go. Jesus. And so I, I said, I can never tell anybody. They'll know that,

I'm so stupid and gullible, but ruined and filthy and damaged and disgusting and all of these things I thought of myself, but also somebody who's bad enough that God has to punish. And I can't, if I have nobody in my life now, I can't live. So I'm just going to have to hide. I stayed quite distant from people at arms, kept him at arm. arm's length, but I just pretended to myself when the thoughts would come up. No, no, that didn't happen. That didn't happen. That didn't happen. Not a great strategy, by the way. Listen, I mean, I can't say yes or no on that, right? Because I've never been through it.

And I hope that, you know, I want to say hope that someone listening can relate. But if someone has had this experience and they haven't talked about it, I want your voice to be the one that says, hey, like there's a way out. You can talk about this. You can be honest about your story. And it can help you later on in life impacting others and, you know, making sure that they're safe, et cetera. But let me ask you a quick question.

Like, what do you estimate? How long were you taken for? Oh, four days? Three days. Oh, my God. Oh, my Lord. That's wild. That is why.

That's some wild shit. And so when you, when you, when you were let go, they drove off, you ran away, how quickly were you able to find help? And what did it look like in the ensuing days after? I'm assuming you came right home. No, I was determined to never go home again. I grew up in the really remote Rockies of Colorado on a horse ranch.

And it was just heaven when I was a little kid, just riding horses. And every day was a wonderful adventure. streams and brooks and old Indian pictographs and I mean heaven heaven and yet when I got to be a teenager and there were no signs of civilization from our ranch and the nearest town of any size was an hour and a quarter away or so you know I had to get out and I thought if I now am left with these thoughts, these intrusive thoughts of just these men doing all these things to me and my thoughts of revenge, even though I would try to push it down. No, that didn't happen.

That didn't happen. Being at war with your mind is losing battle. And I thought, if I told my parents, I'd have to go back and I would die literally. You know, you think in such grand scales as a kid. I would die if I had to sit there. and rot away in the mountains away from people. No, I want to live in the big city. I don't know what big city. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I have to stay.

I can never go back there. And I just, I said, I went through all of that to become a model. I mean, look, there was no correlation between those men, what they did and modeling. But I said, I'm going to become a model anyway. and somehow, some way, I went to England. I had a Ural pass at the time, went to England,

went to found some magazine that listed, it was before like we all used the interwebs. And went to everyone. And like the second from the last one goes, okay, you're American. We like that. I was like, oh, thank God. You know, just my virtue of being American and tall enough.

So I was like, okay. And I became a model and they sent me all over the world. And the good thing was going all over the world mostly, first of all, in modeling, nobody cares what you think. So they're not asking you to talk much. So I didn't have to talk with people. It was good for my strategy of saying separate. And then people were all speaking different.

languages. So, you know, can I smile? They're just like, pout. Those were basically two emotions you had to display. But I started writing at the time. At first, it was just journaling kind of stuff, but then it was, I started writing stories. And I thought, hey, I'm not bad at this. And it was, it was very therapeutic, but it was something I started to do. And eventually I turned it into when I settled and, you know, in one place, I turned it into plays and started having them developed by TV networks and sold them and started selling original writing. It was all very therapeutic.

But one of the other things I did in the interim was. once enough time had lapsed that I had a little bit of space, a little bit of experience being alive. You know, I had a little bit of distance from the kidnapping. I realized, okay, look, I came from tough stock. I was a rancher. I had to look in the mirror and just said, look, you're not the first person to go through something hard. Right. Other people have been through way worse.

Find those people. Listen to them. Learn from them. What did they do that worked? What did they do that didn't work? And on an inspired moment, I started volunteering at old age homes, boarding care facilities of all kinds. Holocaust survivors. War vets.

Holy shit. So you started giving back. You started really serving the community. And initially, look, it was, I don't want to seem that it was all being magnanimous. Initially, I wanted to listen to these people and hear the people that had gone through adversity. What did they do? I needed help. I didn't just want to read a book.

I wanted to hear it firsthand. But once I got there, there's this phenomenon where in this country, we kind of ignore our elderly. I don't listen to them. They were so damn thrilled to have somebody listen to what they said. Oh, I bet. I bet. And as I was listening to them, I didn't have to listen to that negative internal dialogue going on in my head. It was we were a match made in heaven.

It was true love. Right. And then it became being of service. I could hear what had worked for them. And I started to codify it into a system. And just listening to them was therapeutic for them and me. yes, but then I turned all the things that they said that had worked into a framework, how to overcome adversity.

And I tried it on myself and it worked. It actually worked. I was able to put aside all that it happened and not just put it aside, but authentically work through it. And I thought, all right, look, it may just be that it worked for me. But now I want to help some other people. So I found other survivors of, you know, I had since talked to law enforcement. Okay.

They thought it was a trafficking attempt gone awry. So I found survivors of trafficking, sexual assault, rape, violent crime. And I started using what I found with them. I'm like, look, I'm not a psychotherapist, shrink, psychiatrist, any of it. I'm not a mental health care person, but I have lived through it. And if this is of help to you, you're welcome to try it out. And I beta tested it with people. And sure as heck, it worked.

And I thought, okay, this, we all deal with trauma somewhere on the spectrum, right? Right. Things traumatize each of us. And wherever we fall on that spectrum of, of, unwanted circumstances, things we didn't want happening. I think this could really benefit people. I then experienced, great, I've got this way I could help. And when I was a little girl in the mountains of Rye, Colorado,

I used to lie on the ground on my back in the horse meadows. And I would just, the cows would be grazing and the horses would be grazing. And I'm just lying there among their feet. and looking up, the only signs of modern day life was that planes would fly over her head. We're in the flyover zone. And I'd stare at those planes and think, man, I want to be the girl in the plane. Right. I want to be the girl in the plane looking down at the girl in the meadow.

And if I stare hard enough at that plane, I may just get sucked up in that plane and become the girl in the plane. Okay. But fantasies aside, if I'm going to be the girl in the plane, I have to have some way, something to give people, some way to help people. And then I thought back to the girl in the plane and I go, I now have some way to help people. I commend this, right? There's one thing to go through something so like, I mean, this is just, I'm thinking, I have two daughters, you know, and to hear your story.

and no, just not even know or feel, but just like hear of what's, what went on. Like, thank God for you being able to help some people. Because I think this is something that a lot of people say, okay, I know this is going on, but I don't know anybody that's, you know, been kidnapped, you know, for, you know, a sex trafficking ring or anything like that. Like, I literally am sitting having a conversation with a friend of mine. that this has actually happened to. Like, it's awareness, right?

And I feel like what about, have you ever thought of what about you that they decided to let you go? You know, when I talk to subsequently people in law enforcement, because at that time, I literally just ran for my life. Of course. Got a board of train and just got the hell out of France. Yeah. But I literally didn't care what train, where it was going. I just knew it was going out. And I just said, I'll figure it out at that point.

When I've talked to law enforcement since then, maybe a handoff went wrong or something. I mean, it's all speculation, right? It's kind of like when you go to a doctor and it sounds like it's your thyroid. I don't know. It's an educated guess, right? But, you know, at the time, I thought, well, God's allowing me to repay the horrible human that I am. And since then, I'm like, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

So that, so don't you start crying because you're going to make me freaking cry. Don't you do it. I'm kidding. Do it. I'm going to hide behind a clean. No, you're behind. Audience, this is, I told you there's going to be a point, right? that it was a trigger moment.

I'm sitting here looking at my friend, go through her emotions, and all these bad things that happened to her, I think it was in France. Right, is in France? Yeah. And you're literally coming back and saying years later that this is the best thing that's ever happened to you, and there's some girl right now or some woman

that this may have just happened to is watching this episode or listening to this episode. I want you to speak directly to her right now, because you said something very powerful. Why is this the best thing that's ever happened to you? And how can she or a bunch of them get to the same point you are? If there's one thing that's certain in life, it's that things are going to happen that we didn't plan and we didn't want.

But if there's one thing that is certain that I've learned. And I haven't gone into it yet, but this is out of not just anecdotally for me, but I went on and became a coach in the world's largest personal development organization for almost 20 years. I've coached hundreds of thousands of people. And I've seen this thread that people experienced stuff they didn't want. And we can either look at it and go, no, this shouldn't be.

This shouldn't have happened. Or we can say yes. And the moment we authentically say yes to what happened, but not like, yeah, okay, I'll tolerate it. Oh, yeah, hey, tolerate. It's a step up from hell no. Yes. Sure. Sure.

Right. If we can get to a place when we actually hold it in our hand and embrace it and bring it close to our heart, at that point, it will reveal the gift. And not until then. That. Oh, man. I think, you know, as you said, we all go through trauma at some point, right? Something that we didn't want, right?

Something that we did not want. But the key is, and what I think I'm hearing you say is the true acceptance of it, right? And how can I make that now a part of me so I can give me more, so I can give more of me to people, right? And when you finally accept and stop running from what happened is when the magic happens. that's so hard absolutely and there's a go ahead sorry

it's kind of like a ladder and you know it's we kind of start with that hell no this shouldn't have happened this shouldn't be to maybe tolerating it

or allowing it or accepting it but then there's a different stage and that's a stage of embrace and even loving it

which seems counterintuitive intuitive and impossible to get to. Yes. When you're in the state of hell no, you can't just leap to, I love you. That's just fantasy land. And when if anyone had suggested, I would insist that they needed a swift kick in the pants. You know, it's just no.

You have to go up the ladder steps. But the true gem, the gift is released at not even acceptance, but embracing. it and loving it. Yeah. And, you know, I'm not saying for a heartbeat that I condone what these men did or that horrible things should happen to good people or any of that. But what I'm saying is there is no getting back to life like it was before. No, because it happened. There is no unwinding the clock in some magical fantastical thinking. There is only now. And our relationship to what occurred in the now is everything. Yeah.

And the moment I claimed it as a gift, I suddenly got to be somebody who was blessed rather than cursed. I suddenly got to be somebody who had something to contribute. You're such a beautiful person, dude. Like I'm sitting here and, you know, I'm usually for more. words, you know, but I always believe, like, whatever's going on is meant to be. Like, the audience is meant to hear you more than me today. And obviously, I love that, right? I love that because it's, it's impact, right? That's what we do on the show is we make an impact. We don't, we don't do clickbait stuff. We don't, you know, try to piss people off to get views,

although sometimes I do say things that piss people off and I do have to capitalize on it, but there's no plan to do that, right? It's just me being me. And what I am like listening and digesting to this whole story is, and we haven't even got to how bad of a badass you are now, what you're doing for many people over the world. And we'll get to that. It's coming, guys. Just stay with me, right? But this is part of your story that makes you so powerful. and what you do now. But what I'm hearing and feeling is like, everybody wants to talk about this word determination.

Hell, it's my brand. Determine society, right? It's not what people think it is. And I say this all the time. I'm going to repeat it, right? Because I want the audience to finally lock it the fuck in. Okay? Is determination isn't this mean thing every single day like rough.

Look at me. Look at me. It's no. It's showing up for the recording when you don't feel like it. It's going to the gym when you don't feel like it. It's going to the gym when you don't feel like it. It's having hard conversations when you don't feel like it. And a lot of times the hard conversations that you're having is in between your own ears.

It's with you. And if you can just move a little bit despite your emotional state at that time, you can now get to a point of acceptance and embracing things and moving on in your life and finally understanding what your damn gift is. That moment of understanding. what your gift is. Yeah. It's just so holy.

And it's, you know, I'd love to be able to sit here and say, the thing that unifies us is we all have the greatest things in the world happen. And you sure, we all do. Yeah. But what I think what unifies us is we've got this opportunity to resurrect. And this isn't, look, this isn't about God and religion. or any of that, but I feel like for me, that moment of coming face to face with,

who in the hell actually am I? And what am I made of? And am I going to say yes to the shit show that I experienced or not? Mm-hmm. And I thought, well, I know the, I know the cost of saying no to it. I wanted to die.

Yep. So just fuck it. I'm going to say yes. And in that moment, it came face to face with who I am. And I felt like, oh, I get what resurrection means. I get why that's what we can model. Because when we say yes to all of it, whatever our, forgive them, Father, they, we know not, they know not what they do.

Whatever the hell that moment is for each of us, the, oh, God, no. Are you kidding me right now? Moment. for me it was like oh i can resurrect now when i said yes yes yes this happened yes now what do you have for me yes look i love it today um is the anniversary of my mom's passing oh wow she i stand on her shoulders what an amazing woman but i say that Because we've got each of us these, these amazing beings somewhere that we can model, whether it's, you know, family or not, parents or not, whomever, maybe you might be there

out there feeling lonely. Like I don't have anybody like that. Well, there are people we can model that we don't even know. I mean, Sean, shit, I've been listening to you going, yes, yes, yes. I do have more determination than I realize. We don't have to know people in person, right? But we've got people upon whose shoulders we can stand to serve ourselves, the world, them. So powerful, man.

It's just like if we just sit there and accept and embrace, like you said, everything in our lives, the good, the bad, the ugly, the shit show, whatever that is for whomever. Make something great of yourself, right? I think, you know, it's so crazy because for me, when I realized what my gift was, it's this. And I'm thinking, what in the fuck do I do with that? I remember turning around and flipping the phone around for the first time and doing a video. When I was creating a Facebook page, I'm like, what a douchebag. You know, I'm that guy now.

I'm that guy now, but I never thought in a million years it would turn into this, right? I guess, I lie. I did know that this could happen and I'm nowhere near where I want to be. And I want everybody to really look at that because a lot of people come to me like, dude, you're killing it, you've made it. Like, no, I haven't. Like, no, I haven't. Like, thank you.

Thank you for believing in me and thank you for seeing me for who I am. I'm still trying to see it. I'm still trying to see it. It's not that I don't believe it or I don't see it fully, but it's like, all right, what do we need to do to tweak to get to that guy? Like, how do we get there? Right? And I think it's through just a lot of self-auditing and a lot of okay.

Like, I recognize this. I'm not going to stand for this shit anymore. I'm going to go do that. I'm going to build here. I'm going to build there. And you just keep working. But just for me, when I realize and when I start hearing, people from all over comparing me to certain individuals that are the best in the business.

Like that to me is like, okay, we're on track here. Like we're on track. We're tracking. Keep fucking going. Because at that one point where that, I think you called the jump off point, man, it's like, you know, this whole time we're doing this. And it's through determination. It's through doing it when like, let's be honest, we all have things going on in our lives. Like, things have been hard the last two, three years for us under my household. Like nothing bad, but just it's been hard. And I keep going. And that's the gift. Like it doesn't have to look like, you know, you don't have to be the, and this is where people get caught up. Like people get caught up, they have to feel like they have to look perfect because that's the narrative right now in social media.

If you're not shredded, you ain't shit. You know, if you're not, if you don't have a ton of money, you ain't shit. If you don't have a big following, you ain't shit. If you don't have a big following, you ain't none of that is true unless you say it is you know and i just think it's important to accept your gift while i'm rambling here is just accept it like in whatever it is it is and like find a way to give that gift to the world and that's something that i've done and that's something that you have evidently done. I remember way back

when I used to say, but what is the gift I have to give to the world? What is my purpose? And it, in the ultimate irony, it would be the thing I didn't want giving that away,

finally being able to own that story and give that away. And maybe, just maybe, as you're listening, if you are unclear about, well, what is my gift and what is my purpose and what can I provide? It may have to do with the journey that you've taken, particularly the stuff you didn't want to happen. I see that time and again today with the people with whom I work.

They're like, oh, but God, I'm not telling anybody that. Are you kidding? That's the solid gold. That's the piece that will have people beat a path to your door. That's the piece that will have people say, when you share your story, I hear mine, even if you've got not a damn thing in common. So many people want to run from what actually is, right?

And it's almost like, too, there's so many things in my story that I haven't told. because I'm afraid of the reaction. Am I going to lose people? I might. Yeah. I might. But I might gain the world.

Yeah. And I think it's something that we all have to think about, right? Yeah. Don't hold back. The people you lose are not your people. Where are you holding back in your life? You know, it's so funny. Like, I made a joke with my team.

I was like, this reel is going to get me canceled. Like, And it went out today. And I haven't been canceled, you know, and it's just a fear. But it's like, those are my thoughts. Like, I have to stand on something. You know, for the longest time in this show, I've, and it will always be all inclusive. Always.

Always, always, always. But I do have my values. I do believe certain things are right. And I do believe certain things are wrong. I should be able to talk about it in my own damn show. And I'm, and I'm now starting to do that. right and but but those are one of the things that I've kind of kept off my platform and I'm like no not anymore not anymore it has to be out there you know because I could you know get a couple

you know people in my comments I don't like what I what the real was and I already have you know I was like oh okay like that struck a nerve um good um but I also might have more people that say oh wow I didn't realize that was how he thought because he's very down the middle and hasn't given his opinion on anything. Now I'm starting to see more of who he is. So to your point with your clients and people that are listening now, like tell your damn story. You know, I'm talking to myself too. You know, my story needs to be out there more, right? It needs to be articulated better. It needs to be out there so people can come to listen to this. But anyway, so I want to transition into while we're, you know, we've, I mean, this could be literally a Joe Rogan style of podcast. I can literally talk to you

for three hours, you know. I mean, I really could. But I want to, when you say the people you work, people that you work with and things like that, tell everybody what you actually do because you are amazing at your craft. And, you know, you, you, you help. help people tell their stories. And I mean, hell, you know, you've been on Dr. Phil. Dr. Oz, you know, endorses you on your website. You're doing pretty damn well, my friend. Thank you.

Yes. So, Sean, I want to take one little step back. Okay. So here I am. I've got this way I've come up with to overcome adversity that I think could benefit anybody who's experienced adversity. meaning everybody. And what I had done by then is my day job,

I had sold original scripts both on my own and with partners to become TV shows. And I'm under contract as a network TV writer. And I can see, now that I'm in media, I can really see the power that media has to shape the collective. conversation, whether it's that everybody in the nation or the world is talking about the same thing at the same time, the same story, the same occurrence, or it's creating these water cooler moments where everybody's connected by virtue of the stories that we're consuming or watching. And I thought, oh, wow, what if I could get my own work.

out to the world on major media. And I thought, this ought to be a cakewalk. I mean, I'm connected, sort of. You know, I write network TV. How hard could it be? It took me a decade. Wow. Like, what?

It seems impossible. First of all, I hired all kinds of publicists. What I did not realize at the time is publicists are great if you are famous. They have to have something to publicize. So like, because we had one for the TV shows. And, you know, I could see the line items, $410,000 publicist. I was like, oh, oh, I should have a publicist. I hired so many and spent all my money on publicists and I literally never got anything.

Yeah. And I was like, okay, so not that. Let's see. And I just, there's all these myths that people come. to us with and I and I went through every one of them. I just need an introduction to the producer of Good Morning America. Well, I burned that bridge and I'm blacklisted still to this day. Then I,

You're blacklisted? I just didn't know. If you don't know what to do, it's so easy to get blacklisted. You do the wrong damn thing and you come in and talk about your product or service. You just don't know. I didn't know. And I burned introductions to people. Like I was connected.

So I was like, hey, hook me up with a producer of this, this, this. And I went in and like, you know, summarily Xed out all of those introductions because I wasn't media trained. Yeah, I knew how to write, but I didn't know how to write sound bites. I didn't know how to write talking points. I didn't know how to create a compelling core message. And that's the point. I still wasn't sharing my story. You know, I could talk about that it's possible to overcome adversity.

You know, hypothetically speaking, with all the people that I've worked with, so to speak. But nobody gave it damn because there was no context for it to land inside of. And then I thought, okay, let me share my story. But then I shared it in such a way that people are like, oh, my God, you need a hug. I'm so sorry. It's the last thing I want right now. Are you okay? I'm like, I'm not looking for a hug.

I'm looking for national TV exposure so I can help the world overcome adversity. There must be something I'm fucking saying wrong. And they were like, oh, this poor, poor girl, poor, poor thing. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Let me just get away because it's making me uncomfortable. Yeah, right, right. They now can hear the triumph. And I just didn't know all these things.

I was a good writer. I was good enough to be under contract with all these big studios and networks but I didn't know how to tell my own story. And by the time I finally did it and got out there, had hundreds of millions of views, my own goalcast episode, like all these things. I went back to the mirror,

had a conversation with myself and said, is it really helping people overcome adversity that you want to do for the rest of your life? You know what? There's an industry dedicated to that. I'm going to leave that to mental health professionals. I think the way I could make the biggest difference is by shepherding mission-driven experts who want to change the world with whatever their gift is, find a way to get the word out to millions through media because if it took me a decade

as a network TV director writer producer these people don't stand a snowball's chance in hell I mean I'm sitting here thinking like shit man I'm only I'm only four years in I'm screwed I got another six years I'm teasing I gathered together that producers and directors and journalists that I had met on the way and said, tell me why this is a stupid idea. I'm thinking about surrounding these people and helping them get media so they can change the world through their work. What do you think?

Why is that a bad idea? And to a person, each one of these gatekeeper type individuals said, you know, this is why I got into media to help people. So yes. That's awesome. And that's what we do today. get you media trained do it's so you prevent you from making all the stupid mistakes that i made so you can't sure i'm like listening to you i'm like i'm sure i've blacklisted myself from many

many places because i didn't know how to pitch myself or to talk i mean i know what i'm doing but i don't know how to articulate it to a point where you know tv execs or even just local media we just don't know don't know what i'm good at where can you use me you know you know I don't know. Dang, gum it. I think you need to write a story on me. Here's what's going on. Like,

no. Like, I made that mistake. I've made that mistake. It's like, yo, I'm in your backyard. Like we're building something special here.

This brand, this movement. Like, it's here. You know, I haven't quite figured out how to, how to engage the local media. But one day I will.

One day I will. One day I will. I'll make them notice, right? Like, it's what we have to, you know, rest our laurels on is like, hey, I will figure it out. There's what I like to call, here's a sneak peek of, well, not even a sneak pick. This is the roadmap, okay, of what I say, how I call it the Holy Trinity of major media in order to get featured. And not just once. And then they redact your segment or.

block it out and remove it from any subsequent broadcast. But to get featured, do a great job, get invited back again and again, like actually create a presence. You have to fulfill three things, aka the Holy Trinity, right? You've got to provide massive value for the audience, massive value for the major media platform, whatever that is. And then you've also got to figure out a way to serve your brand. and otherwise what's the point.

But the counterintuitive thing is it's not talking about your brand. Exactly. Or when you do talk about it, it's finding a way to do it so it's not self-serving, it's audience serving. Mm-hmm. And the context inside of which all of it must occur is the conversation is about what they're already discussing. The conversation is about what is.

already in the news. The conversation is you are moving forward what they're already talking about because it's all the, hey, I can, I'm good at this and this and this and this is what I do. And so invite me on. That got me so shut out. You display your expertise by how you move forward the conversations that are already happening. So people don't want to hear that. They come to me and they're like, no, I want to talk about the world's best toothbrush. Good. There's something called an ad for that. Yeah.

Yeah. Or an infomercial. If you want to get on TV and talk about your world's best toothbrush, go into an infomercial. I just, it's funny to me when you say that because it's like, you know, your service is premium, right? And it's like, how could someone come to you? I mean, because, you know, I'm listening. I'm like, I wouldn't fight you. I'd be like, all right, cool.

Tell me what to do. like tell me what I need to do and how I need to do it. Teach me, right? Teach me. I think a lot of people need to get back in that space of becoming the student, right, and letting go of their own, I guess, preconceived notions on how it's supposed to look or how you're supposed to go to market. It's like, hey, no, you need to listen to the professionals.

You hired someone to do a job, let them do their job, listen to them and take action and then execute. And, you know, you talked about. doubling down and continuing to press and do the work. And ultimately, getting major media is no different, it's a long game. I mean, to continue to be top of mind of the people you want to reach, that's a long game. That's not a one and done. Hey, I got featured by CNBC on Tuesday, the 25th of Never. And, you know, it was awesome. And here I am. I mean, for some people, people, it's like they just want to be able to put in their email signature or in their website

as seen on CNBC. And that's great. That's fine. It's a great. But to be consistent, like you say, like that's where you become like that staying power. Yeah, to be a category of one and be the only logical choice for what you provide. It's like doing a podcast where you're like, I don't care if I feel like it. Today it goes out. I don't care if I, you know, it's regular whatever it is. Posting or ads or major media, it requires ongoing

work. It's that push forward that nobody really understands. It can't stop. It requires consistency. And I think why people get disillusioned with anything is like, wait, I've recorded the podcast.

Aren't people supposed to, they said, I watched the movie. They said if you build it, they will come. Where is everybody? Where's, where's all the business? Where's all the listens? Where's all the brand deals? Damn it. It doesn't say how many times you have to build it. It just said if you build it, it will come. That's good. No, just because it said that just because it showed in the movie that they built this field and it took what? I don't know how long. But like to your point,

to everybody, to everybody listening, like, yes, if you built it, they will come, but you have to build it. You have to be consistent. It's not like an overnight thing. Like Cheryl said, and I'm blown away because I didn't know. I thought like you were a TV writer and then boom, you were able to get access and it went well. Like 10 years, guys, 10 fucking years. And she knew the damn industry. She knew the damn industry. You know, so it's like, let's be easier on herself. Can we please just, and I'm speaking to myself because I am somebody that is like, Ed Milet always says be blissfully dissatisfied. Like I am more than blissfully dissatisfied with where I am, but I also need to realize,

like, dude, the me three years ago would fucking kill to be right here right now. And so it's a progression and more people that are watching and listening to whatever you all are doing out there, they're seeing the growth. You just can't see it because you're focused on the fucking destination. And that's the problem. That's my problem. I should just drop the mic. You know, that.

That's so good. Fuck. Cut. The. We had a mic drop moment. Oh, no, I mean, literally. Oh, God. I mean, damn, man.

Damn. You know? There is a, there's a thin line to traverse. How do we? celebrate enough wins to keep motivated and yet stay humble enough to keep grinding. I like it. And stay determined enough to persevere when through all the I don't wantas and whatever stuff occurs that we don't want.

They're going to come. They're going to come. The I don't wantos are all over the damn place. They've hit me like seven times today already. It's fucking not even noon. It is noon. It's noon. Not for you, though.

You got your whole day. You're in Cali. Yeah. Still nine. How is the future? How's the past? You know, speaking of the past, I just came back from my honeymoon. And we went to Sicily, was one of the places we went.

And that went. to just explored the hell out of all the ancient Greek temples. Wow. And it just, it, it, just, I feel like, reordered my DNA. And I, you know, I'd seen ruins, ironically, on that same trip, went to the Acropolis in Greece and went to Rome and on that same trip that my best friend and I went to France, the whole kidnapping. Yeah.

But, you know, I kind of remembered one thing from the trip, but here I am seeing ruins again. And I felt like it was reordering my whole being because I'm thinking, I'm standing there looking at these 3,000-year-old temples and thinking, what in the hell can I do? that is going to matter that is going to last. And as I'm listening to the audio of all these rulers that came in for their whole lifetime and ushered in either war or an era of peace or an era of abundance or whatever, they chose to do with their one life, I'm thinking, okay, do we even know?

Doesn't even matter what they did. I mean, something standing here that we're looking at today, but does all this stuff, every bit of content that I'm worried about in my current existence, does that shit even matter for a flicker? And if not, what does? But I keep asking what does matter? And although it's unlikely, I don't, it's unlikely, okay, in the law of averages that what we're going to do is going to stand in 3,000 years.

Fuck it. I'm going to play as though that I can make something stand. I'm going to contribute because what the fuck else am I going to do? I love it. God, if it impacts one, there was a soup kitchen in, I lived in New York City as a young model as I was overcoming the impact of the kidnapping. And one thing I did was volunteer at a place called the Bowery Mission. And there was this guy, Brother Thomas, they called him. And he had been a recipient became someone who then provided.

And he used to just say, Brother Thomas, each one help one. Each one help one. Imagine this world if each one could help one, just one. And maybe Brother Thomas isn't still alive, of it's unlikely. He was very old then. But each one, help one, could stand.

3,000 years, couldn't it? And maybe what we do is not edified in stone, but what is it that we can do that can stand the test of time? It's unbelievable. I think everybody, you know, listening and watching right now, needs to dive into that one question as we wind down and land the plane here is, you know, what can stand the test of time? I think kindness can stand the test of time. I think caring for one another can stand the test of time. And I think no matter,

no matter what political affiliation you are, I know it's a hot topic now, it's like, understand that people on both sides are people, right? And we should dive more into the person than the beliefs. So a lot of people have, you know, lost friends or killed friendships because they believe differently. Like that that's not going to stand the test of time. What's going to stand the test of time is understanding, right? Is understanding where people are coming from, understanding where you can help and where you can make an impact. And I think, you know, one of the things that always say is impact over income. You know, we, we, you know, if you make impact and it's a true impact, then yes, all that other fun shit will come like the finances,

the popularity, the whatever everybody's searching for. But what I find is most helpful. is focusing on smiling and being the person that lights up the fucking room when you walk into it. And I live by that. And I do my best to light up every room, every room, just with a smile and kindness. Yeah. It's a point where my wife's like, you're too fucking nice. That's why people take advantage of you. I go, well, until I'm not, right?

Like, but, but I think that, you know, that's what we need to ask ourselves is what can stand the test of time. What is it that you're doing right now that you can reduce down to the simplest formula? Like, I can pass this on to my kids and they can pass it on to their kids and their kids and their kids and their kids. And that's my legacy, right? And that is kindness, that is understanding. Love, right? But I just like, I need to get you here to Florida. We need to do a part two.

Seriously. Okay, we need to do part two. Maybe you and Hubby take a trip out to Florida, you know, come over here to the West Coast and we get it done. We get it done because that is my wish for 2025. I got a shirt right next to me, right next to me. I am absolutely game. Cool. We'll figure it out.

Thank you so much. Before we take off and, you know, say our goodbyes, can you let the audience know how they can find you? you, potentially work with you, and all that good stuff. My website is simply Cherylhunter.com. It's C-H-E-R-Y-L-Hunter.com. On social, I'm either Cheryl Hunter or on Instagram. Damn it, Hunter, Cheryl. You are Hunter-Sherrell on Instagram.

Damn it. Damn you. You were too late. Oh, wait, I'm supposed to embrace that. Yes, it happens. embrace it that's funny but no thank you so much and everybody we'll make sure that her website and her social media links are in the show notes so you can easily click there um go check her out um and if you're not in the business that we're in and you don't need media coverage i still

recommend you go follow her and tune in because she gives a lot to the world she's an amazing human being and and i sure is i sure is how love her to death and um thank you so much for coming on Cheryl, it's been long overdue, and I cannot wait to get this out. And again, guys, find something that you can pass on, something that will stand the test of time. And again, share the show, please. Share this message with somebody that needs to hear it. And I'd love to hear your feedback. So until next time, guys, I love you, and stay determined.

Peace out. So I've tried a lot of protein. You know, what I've always found is all the flavors. You can taste artificial flavoring in them. With raw, it's exactly that. I don't taste that. It's a clean protein source. It tastes great, and I'm not putting a lot of things in my body that aren't good for you.

The biggest thing that I will say that I love about raw nutrition and bum energy is they're all natural ingredients in a third party tested. So what that means is an actual lab test is to make sure what's in the product is actually what is stated on the label. And then you'll see on the website of Braw Nutrition that it is signed off on. So there's no ban substances in these products. Athletes can use them safely and not get tested and pop for a failed drug test for performance enhancing, you know, ingredients. It's completely safe. Guilt free, baby.

Shire French, what up? Everything I'm doing up until it's done. I meet for the entirety. I'm putting overtime. I'll be working. Just know I'm a go for mine because I earned it. They watch and I know it's time. I confirmed it.

A whole society determined. The term is a story.