Determined Society with Shawn French | Adversity & Mindset - The Impact of Societal Standards on Body Image with Matthew Headden

Episode Date: May 30, 2024

In this coaching session, Shawn and Matthew discuss Shawn's progress over the past few weeks, focusing on the challenges of an 'all or nothing' approach and the importance of consistency. They also explore the concept of discipline and determination, the paradox of pushing through fatigue, and the transition to intuitive eating. The conversation is filled with humor and personal anecdotes, creating a lighthearted and engaging atmosphere. In this coaching call, Shawn and Matthew discuss Shawn's nutrition and fitness strategy, body dysmorphia, and the significance of Memorial Day. They explore the challenges of self-image, societal standards of fitness, and the impact of past experiences on self-perception. Key Conversation Points The challenges of an 'all or nothing' approach The importance of consistency in achieving fitness goals The concept of discipline and determination as a key to progress The transition to intuitive eating as a long-term goal The lighthearted and engaging atmosphere of the coaching session The impact of body dysmorphia on self-perception and self-image The societal standards of fitness and the influence of social media on body image The significance of Memorial Day and the sacrifice of fallen soldiers for freedom Sound Bites "The all or nothing approach is not the jam." "Discipline and determination is just moving forward." "What does San Diego mean? The whale's vagina?" "How cool is it that your past doesn't need you anymore, your future does." "We love you. And if you've sacrificed in any way for this country, for your country, we love you and we remember you today."   Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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Just know I'm a go for mine. Because I earned it. They watch and I know it's time. I confirmed it. A whole society determined. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to another coaching session with my coach, Matthew Haddon. We decided to do this every other week just because of the demands on both of our schedules.

But we also wanted to have some time in between to see if there's any big swings for the positive or the negative. So we're back here and we're recording for you guys. So enjoy this live coaching call. And as always, if you have any questions or want to connect with Matthew, hit me up directly. I'll get you to him if you can't already find him. But also, as far as the questions, ask them because we are loving the engagement on these episodes and makes us happy. Matthew, what's up, buddy?

What's up, brother? I appreciate the shout out that I appreciate everybody. Listen, man, this stuff is priceless. And yeah, the feedback we've got. Why are you going to come in with a camera? a couple of me like that, bro. Well, I mean, you do it to me with the Golden Girls thing, so I figure, you know, right when you're getting serious, I'm just going to flash the care bears there.

Guys, I'm drinking out of my favorite coffee mug today. It is a care bear mug, and I'm not ashamed. Anyway, go ahead. You were saying, his says, it says, abs are cool, but have you tried donuts? I love that. That should be ice-d-you-me. You know. Yeah.

Bastard. Absolutely back. But, man, I just, let's dive into it, man, because, you know, we don't have your progress photos up. But they're absolutely incredible. But let's start as normal. What did you do well the past two weeks? Man, the past two weeks is just, you know, I was coming into a lot of resistance as far as, you know, at that point where I usually would let off the gas, like if I don't, if I'm tired or I don't feel like I really want to go do this. or if I have like a small little injury, right?

Like I had some leg issues going on this week again, remember? And I was like, I couldn't really do much with my legs until, what, Friday? And, you know, typically what I would have done was just shut it down and be like, all right, well, I'm injured. You can't go. The all or nothing, right? And what I've learned with working with you. And I mean this is like specifically working with you is I've learned that the all or nothing approach is not the gym. And so those days I went in, out of the five movements, I did three.

You know, I did whatever was on the plan with the exception of the legs. And on those days, I still walked because it didn't hurt to walk. So I walked. And then I started feeling better. So then I went heavy on Friday and I feel fine today. And we're going to go after this call. And I'm going to go to the gym and I'm going to get my lift in. I love it.

What has been the biggest shift? You said a little bit of how it served you, because being all or nothing is part of what got you where you are. With being, you know, championship baseball catcher for LSU, having successful businesses, a successful podcast. So it does serve us in some ways. But how has it held you back in the past? Well, because, yeah, man,

because if you feel like you can't do anything like it's going to be perfect, you just, why do it anyway, right? Like, why even put out the piece of content? Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why? Why, why? We go through all the, I go through all these things where it was just like, if I can't do it to 100% like certainly perfect, then I'm not going to do it. And it's helped me back because like any movement forward is still moving forward.

It's just like watching a football game or a baseball game. You don't expect, you know, a 99-year-old. yard run up the gut every single time. Does it happen? It sure does, right? And when Barry Sanders played, it happened a lot. You don't expect a home run every single time up at bat or watching a game unless you're watching Barry Bonds, which a lot of people have their theories on that, which I love to debunk any day of the week. But the same time, it's like, it's not always like that. There's other parts of the game. And that's what I've learned, man. It's like through this rant that going through right now is there's silent parts of this game of health that people don't see.

And what those silent parts are is just those moments where you're like, damn it, I didn't eat well this meal. Or damn it, I miss today. You know, at the gym, it's like, okay, well, cool. But what now? But what now? You know, like, okay, if you have a bad meal, or not even bad, if you go off plan or whatever the hell it is, just next decision, just get back on. Last night, I went to the movies with my daughters. Oh, I had a ton of popcorn, right?

A ton. I don't give a shit. I don't care. This morning, I woke up, had my three eggs, my killer Mike's toast. And, you know, I'm fueled up and I'm going to go lift here in a bit. So I think it's just like those little things, man. You know, it's like, this is long haul, dude. This is long haul.

With the heavy emphasis of the next three weeks. Yeah, and it's to look at it from two different perspectives, you know, if you stub your toe, do you chop your foot off? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. But that's what the all or nothing can be. You know, if you get a flat tire and you slash the other three. It seems reasonable. Yeah.

We do that. Yeah. And I do it, right? And then let's look at another direction. You know, biblical speaking, well, we hear perfection, right? Because some many people strive for perfection. Okay. Well, first off, you ain't Jesus. But perfection in the Greek, to my understanding, means to see it to completion. It's okay not to be perfect with finances. Experian is your big financial friend and here to help. Did you know you can get matched with credit cards on the app? Some cards are labeled. no ding decline, which means if you're not approved, they won't hurt your credit scores. Download the Experian app for free today. Applying for no ding decline cards won't hurt your credit scores if you aren't initially approved.

Initial approval will result in a hard inquiry which may impact your credit scores. Experian. This episode is brought to you by LifeLock. It's Cybersecurity Awareness Month, and LifeLock has tips to protect your identity. Use strong passwords, set up multi-factor authentication, report fishing, and update the software on your devices. And for comprehensive identity protection, let LifeLock alert you to suspicious uses of your personal information.

LifeLock also fixes identity theft, guaranteed, or your money back. Stay smart, safe, and protected, with a 30-day free trial at lifelock.com slash podcast. Terms apply. It doesn't mean that it's flawless. It means you see it through. And if you're all or nothing, then you can't see it to completion. Yeah. That's a good point.

Just remember that next time. What is perfection? What's completion? Yeah. Yeah. And we'll just make it better later. So sorry. This is so random, but this is me with my ADHD. I love the crown molding and the stuff going on the wall behind you, like the halfway down. I'm just fixated on it.

Good job, Leah. Looks good. Sorry. Go ahead. It's beautiful. Good Lord. I, listen, you know the one thing that I love about these coaching calls and for the people that are listening is just like, I'm okay with going completely randomized, right, and saying dumb things at the most inopportune moments because this is full on my personality, right?

I mean, my show is my personality, but like when I'm with you, I mean, I do, I don't say as many curse words as I probably would. If I weren't, you know, if I didn't have these amazing 24, six, eight ears in the background in your, in your house, I probably would say some more bad words. But, you know, here I am. So I love the walls, man. It's great. I don't know what it's called. It's called something. It's either, I believe it's the Wayne's coding.

Thank you. Who, Wayne? Yeah, Lou Wayne. Not low. Low Wayne. Lowell and coding. Got it. Got it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Coating. What about Wayne's coding? No, I was thinking about Lowell Wayne. I'm a little more thuggish than. But anyway, I digress. Let's go. Let's get back.

I'm totally gangster. Oh, there's your thumbs up signs. I don't, don't even. I think it's the care bear. I think what me, when it's coffee. I'm just kidding. I'm never going to say that again.

No, no, no, no. I saw how my pre-work out. Yeah, I had that already. All right, let's go. Sorry, my part of my buddy. All right. So we already know what you did well. Is there something else you're proud of yourself for?

It could actually just be eating popcorn with your daughter and being present, man. No, I mean, I just, yeah, I mean, not really. I mean, that's just, I don't know. I think for me is the consistent. consistency aspect. You know, and just in when I send you those pictures and they're, you know, night and day, you know, and I'm still, I still give myself a hard ass time. What the bottom line is, is like, I look at it and like, it's consistency, right?

And then I realize, too, it's like, okay, I've also been enjoying life. You know, so, you know, that said, it's like, okay, I look at the progress from March until now. It's like a six-month progression, in my opinion. It looks great. but at the same time I'm like okay I still enjoyed things I I wasn't you know super stringent but it's also like then I look at him like okay well in the next I got a film in three weeks you know like I'm okay with getting a little more stringent you know I'm okay with beating myself up a little bit more physically like sprint walk sprint walk doing all these different things

because you look at that and it's just like wow that's what consistency has brought me okay and you're not even you're i'm probably 85% clean right now like eating maybe 8020 you know like and i'm not i'm not going through those um i guess massive swings of like got to starve myself um but so i'm proud of that i'm proud of that but i'm also ready to make turn to take that dial and move it like four or five notches right like i'm starting to the base is ready right like i feel like i'm strong enough to do that now and so thank you for that i was gonna say do you know why i put you in maintenance why we go slow and steady at first instead of just hard cutting because there's a lot of coaches as you know that we'll just hard cut someone right in the

you're doing. No, absolutely. And I've had those coaches and it's hard, dude. And that's part of the reason that I would swing in the pendulum, the opposite direction. I feel like right now I'm ready for a hard cut. Like, I feel like I'm ready. I'm wanting it. Like, I'm like, okay, cool. I want to go to bed starving. Like, fuck it. Like, I'm ready. You know, like, it's time, you know, or save 25 grams of protein for the night and have some yogurt. I don't know. But like, it's time. There's several things. that we needed to make sure that we accomplished first before we go into even almost a dieting phase. And that is, number one, that we're acting out of love and not desperation. Yeah. Yeah.

Number two is your relationship with food, right? Like, a cut is a horrible time to work on someone's relationship with food. No. It is a horrible time to work on someone's all or nothing mentality. Right. Like if you find yourself saying, because we've done it, we've been there, right? Well, I'm going to eat everything I want on Sunday because Monday, starts my diet then that's probably a really bad time to start because it's more that all are nothing so where you are now I agree you know what we'll do is we're going to go into a mini cut okay I'm going to cut you a couple more 100 calories okay the focus will be a bit more on conditioning and cardio um and it'll look more like you know three days uplifting um two to three

days a steady state cardio zone two um and then you know a day of conditioning and some your your favorite the mobility stretchy yoga thing that you love ever so much but what's the point in let's say being jacked or being having incredible endurance or being able to lift everything in the world if the second you turn sideways to pick up your dollar you blow your back yeah yeah i think those are one of the things that the opportunities for improvement for me is my mindset around the mobility. For me, like I'm jumping ahead, but for me, that's, I think over the next couple weeks, that needs to be my massive, where I'm going to get better at is my, is my attitude and mindset towards mobility. I think that's great, because you already know the next question.

What roadblocks have you encountered? And how do you think you should, could overcome them? So hit me. Keep going. So I think, so I think the, the roadblocks I talked about the app wasn't like, it kept deleting what I was tracking. I think, I mean, I know saying something to you sooner would have been the right thing to do. And then trying the, you know, uninstall app and then reinstall it sooner would have been the right call. I do have to be honest with you.

The last week that I was doing that with the thumbs up thing again is I've really enjoyed not being on my phone tracking everything. You know, I hope that one day when we get to a point where we need to be, you know, I don't need to do that constantly. Because I'm on my phone so much already. But, you know, for me, it was just nice, not not as like, okay, well, I'm going to, I'm going to have this chicken here. I'm going to have this potato. I know it's not going to kill me, whatever. Like, I'm just, I'm just going to eat.

And I've been, and on my lifts are, my strengths going up. So I'm fed, right? I'm not weak and I'm not exhausted. But I also think like the other road box was, I mean, that specifically. And then the leg thing, I don't know what's going on. So I got some hydration stuff that I'm taking once or twice a day with a lot of salt and potassium. It's called LM&T or something like that. I'm sure that first form has some stuff that I will pick up as well.

But that was that like I need this stuff. Guy that to Jim said, hey, this is the stuff. I'm like, I got it here the next day. So haven't been cramping. But yeah, those are really the only things that are like I feel like it have been the roadblocks, man. I will say there's certain points of the week where I was really tired just. from a physical standpoint, like my body was sore and tired because I've been pushing myself so much more.

And so those are the days, like I told you, it's funny, I told you on Friday. It's like, hey, I'm going to move my workout to Saturday. And then I told you that. You didn't even acknowledge it because you probably knew I was going to go anyway. And I found myself pretty much, I call it sleepwalking. okay I was I was doing a task for work and then I was done for the day I'm like all right cool so I walked upstairs got dressed and just walked out the door and I was halfway to the gym and when I was talking to you or whatever I'm like oh I think I was supposed to move this to tomorrow but

but my I'm still my point is as no matter how tired I'm still going right because I realize that is just me resisting wanting to get better at that point. If at any point, if at any point, because we do that, like the human brain is wired to remove risk. Okay. And when we sit there and we're like super tired, our brain's going to be like, okay, don't go do this because I'm supposed to save you from this. Right. And those are the moments that I've pushed through, right? Because there was really nothing wrong. If there was a true injury or something like that, like, yeah, I would lay off. I don't believe in the hustle

culture anymore. I'm speaking out about it a lot now. I think it's more than just, oh, go get it done. I think it's more of discipline and determination just looks like moving forward. That's all it is. It's all it is. And it's not sexy. It's not fun. It's not anything. It's just

that. That's what we're going on. Say that part about about. Discipline and determination is, you don't have be angry about it. You don't have to be like, book your feelings or, you know, all this influencer stuff. Guys, what it really truly is when you boil down the basic ingredients of determination and discipline, it is just moving forward. That is all it is. It's moving forward even if it's just a little bit. If you're supposed to run that day for 20 minutes and you only

run 10, I'm sorry. You're not weak. You still did it. You may not have felt great enough to go the 20 minutes but did you get off your booty and go do something yeah you did so is that better than not doing anything i think it is right that to me is moving forward that is discipline that is determination because you still went through the habit of getting dressed putting your running shoes on and walking out the darn door i'm gonna let you guys know something because normally he just talks to me it sounds like he's talking to you guys but he's talking to himself yep i'm gonna let you not right now I'm going to address several things here for you, brother. Sure.

One, the LM&T is great. Most people do not eat more salt. However, I know your diet that you could stand it, especially with the heat down there, training outside like we have you doing conditioning. They actually have a fizzy can drink now, too, that I really want to try. So hurry up and get a sponsorship from them, by the way.

Who? No, dude. I know. I'm just kidding. I can't know what my partnership is. I'll get it. one. Yeah, you get one. We'll share when I'm down there next month.

You get one. Oh, next month. I like it. I like it. I'm hearing. Well, we got to get to Omni. So I've got to come down. I know you have a thing coming down there. So I've just looked at flights, a song for like a buck 50. So I'm also going to fly out to San Diego and a whale's vagina round trip tickets for a buck and 95. So what does San Diego mean? It's a Wales vagina. San Diego. I'm Ron Burgundy. Sorry, go ahead.

This is, we're getting in the weeds here today. No, what, sorry, folks. Sorry, all right. Sorry, folks. Anyway, so this is, all right. Leah's got the kids in the, in the fallout shelter. Sean's on the mic, get in the fallout shelter. Yeah, I don't, I've had so much tagging caffeine today.

I'm like on a wall, you know what I mean? But, um, I'm sweating. Yeah. Like, I feel it. I feel it sweating. Yeah, it's been an interesting day. You know why, but we won't go out of it right now. Yeah.

Different. Yeah. So as far as the pushing through, I love it, because it is pushing through, I love it, because it is pushing it when until it's interesting, right, it's quite the paradox here. Because when we are not in the shape we need to be in not great shape, things like that, we're tired. but then we know you know that exercising consistently is going to make you less tired but what a conundrum

what a paradox where it's like I have to do the thing my body tells me not to do to get through the thing that sucks yeah like what what a weird conundrum right like it is true like that anxiety that I'm going to want to do this is our brain

saying something has to change I mean if you anxiety is this bad thing it's not a bad thing. It's simply your brain saying change something and you're changing it, but it's going to fight back because it wants to be comfortable. But then in comfort, it manufactures things to then look more wrong than they really are. Yeah.

Because survival mechanisms. So you push through that, you continue to push through that. The change of your body has been miraculous. Like it really does look like six months progress. Yeah. Even though I don't have the newest measurements in, I'm going to go ahead and go out on the limb and say, This has been what about 50, 55 days of consistency, and you're probably down about three and a half inches in your waist, would be my guess.

I'd probably say that. Yeah, that looks like an accurate. Which is insanity. With the mini cut, it's going to be tough. You are going to be, it's going to be harder. So we go with more nutrient dense foods, right? What does that look like? You already know that age.

Yeah. But for anybody listening, I'm going to address them. It's more fruits, more vegetables, more vegetables, more colds. harvest with nutrients. We're going to leave the sweet potatoes out of the first episode forever since we've addressed sweet potato fries in every dadgum episode. You just rest me in. Maybe you should reach out to like a rider or something, bro, and like get a sponsorship

there. A what? You know, a rider, you know, don't they do those frozen sweet potato fries? So I always, I always thought that those were like filled with like. Yeah, they're trashed. But like, I'm just saying it was the. No, I'm not getting up my mind. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. I mean, that's good marketing on there. And congratulations. So that. Yeah. Right. As far as let's go to the staying off your phone and not tracking. Okay.

So I love intuitive eating. The reason I have you tracked in the beginning is why? Because you don't know. I mean, you truly don't know. I mean, nobody knows how much they're eating or how little they're eating. You truly don't. Like, I mean, to say that I am ready to intuitively eat, I would be lying to you. lying. I'm not ready. But I also feel like if I work my tail off, right, and if I go,

you know, crazy on a sweet potato and I'm over on my carbs, that's not going to kill me. That's not going to kill me. No. And I think people, you know, I think people miss on that, dude, right? So it's like as long as you're not, you know, going through your day, eating relatively decent, but then having five pieces of cake and not tracking it. Like that's a different story, man. Like, have a piece of cake. Cool. Track it.

Just be honest. That's what the reality is anyway. You just don't want to see it on a tracking device. Just track it. You know, but yeah, dude, I mean, I think intuitive eating is the ultimate goal, but I'm not, I'm not ready yet. So then what's another way to stay? off your phone and not have to worry about tracking everything day in and day. I already know what you're going to say and it's not happening.

I'm not prepping. I'm not. I hate like I hate left over. I know. I know you're not. So that that brings us back to the point, right? Like, no,

I got it. Here, you know, I'll give you my password. You log my food and I'll eat what you log. I'm teasing. I'm teasing. You know I would do it.

I'm, I know. That's way too much drag on you. That's way too much. You know me, man. Whatever it takes for somebody I work with to be successful, dude, I'm going to do it. But like, it might picture me with a taser. Come on.

It's too mad. I'm pretty, listen, I'm, I'm pretty consistent with what I eat, right? It's usually, like, my first meal of the day is either, like, my Formula One with ignition or three eggs, two pieces of toast and, like, a tablespoon and a half of butter, right? Like, that's usually if I eat, like, that's what I had this morning. That was my meal this morning. Now, you know, that's only 28 grams of protein. So honestly, before the gym, I'll probably eat again.

I'll probably do the Formula One shake with my ignition. So that way, now I have like close to 70 grams of protein in me and it's only, you know, 1130 at that point, right? Like that's a good start to the day. You know, where I'm, where I'm really interested in strategizing is, okay, so if we're going to take me down 200 calories, I'm assuming that starts today, right? So, you know, I want to strategically eat better. Like, what I mean by that is timing because I say I'm ready to starve at night. I really don't like that.

Like, I really don't like that. I need to get better on, you know, spacing out. the protein because I like to front load it. But then, you know, at night, like at 9 o'clock when I'm starving, like, there's nothing left for me to eat. Like I can't, you know what I mean? So I'm going to have to be really strategic with that last meal, right? The timing of it, because I do want to be relatively comfortable when I go to sleep.

We'll be comfortable too because we know the history of nighttime eating one bit. It lets be real. It's hard, especially when we slow down and we're running all day. So how would this look a little simple? So for about 200 grams of protein. Yeah, we're at 194 now, right? Yeah. Right at 200.

Yeah. That would look like what? Evenly spread out throughout the dairy. So it's like what? It's, uh, I'm terrible at. So it's like 50 grams of protein. If I were doing four meals, it would be 50 grams of protein each, right? Yeah, I suck at math.

That's correct. Right, that is correct. You have 50 grams evenly spread out throughout the day, or three at 50 and two smaller stacks at 20. Yeah. 25. Excuse me, I'm also bad at Matt. Which one works better for you? Probably the five.

You know, probably three of 50 and then, you know, two of the, um, of the 25 each. That way I can have that before I go to bed. You know, and I can knock that out with that ratio yogurt. That's good. That's some good yogurt, too. So we love the ratio yogurt. We know we're starting our day out with the Formula One.

So that looks like 40 to 50. Yes. Yeah, that's 40 too easy. And then if you add in a couple of eggs, great, right here. So see how simple that can look. And if you're in a pinch, what else does that look like? Okay, let's see you're running down the road and you just forgot a snack or you need something. It can look like some simple beef jerky.

It can look like quite a spot. It can look like, you know, one of the first form chocolate mint bars, whichever slavery you like. Well, a ton of them. Yeah. Do those, those, they're like candy bars fan. They're so good. They are. They are.

Yeah. So that's how that looks if it was simple, man. Just do what you're doing. Just spread it out a little bit more evenly. And to the point about meal prepping, it was never about meal prepping. It's about having. Okay. So breakfast looks like typically one of two things, correct?

Mm-hmm. And then what does lunch look like the same? And what if dinner? Like, it's having a couple options that we normally rotate. You realize like, even when you weren't eating well, I knew what you were eating, right? And it was typically the same like three or four things. Rotated. Yeah.

So many people like yourself and people I work with, I don't want to eat the same thing. And then we look at what they eat and they eat the same thing. Because it's all because it depends. Everybody has their price, right? My question is to you, is there a way in the app? This is something that, you know, the one thing that I love with like my fitness pal, okay, or or even the first format is you can copy yesterday's meal. You can swipe a certain way and copy a meal. Can you do that in our app that we use for in trainer eyes?

Somebody getting watched the videos on how they log their food. Oh, no, dude. I, no, you know me. I don't even have time to like. Yes. Three little buttons. Coffee. You can copy the day.

You can copy the meal. You can also save the meals of the favorite and then just add them that way. Okay. Done. I'll have to explore that today. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah.

I'm going to, um, for no reason at all, just send you the quick video link to like that stuff that you're not going to watch. But that's okay. I'll watch it if you send it to me. Yeah. everybody thinks we all have it together we don't man man no no no no I just happen to have it together in this area right like most most in the time so yeah most of the time um what is your declaration for this week as you as we go into a mini cut I'm gonna embrace it man I'm gonna embrace it I'm gonna feel it right and I'm gonna look forward to the purpose that it's serving

and I'm going to be excited about what things are going to look like on, you know, a week-to-week basis, right? So my declaration is, too, is I'm going to get better with the measurements, right? I'm going to get better with, you know, the progress picks. Like, I don't like taking progress picks. It takes a lot for me to take a progress pick. So, you know, that's the shame aspect of it. And so when I'm feeling good, right, and I'm happy about with where I'm at as far as my workouts, my consistency, determination, my nutrition.

my nutrition, I like to stay in that, in that energy. And if I take a picture, it's, I still, like I sent you yesterday, I'm like, this is good, I guess, right? And it knocked me down a little bit because I'm still the way I see it. I'm like, dude, I'm six months away, man. Like minimum, right? Minimum six months away. But then that's the initial emotion.

So I feel bad about where I'm at. and then I put it down and then I look back at it later. I'm like, that's a massive difference at a kid. Right. So it's like I don't like exposing myself to those moments. Do you think that there's a benefit to it? I do.

I do. I do. But this is the stuff that I'm working through, right? And that's why I was like, okay, I'm going to do it. Like yesterday is like, okay, I'm going to do this. I'm going to start slow. I'm going to send the before and then the progress. And we're going to go from there.

And then I load it in the app. And, you know, I'm going to get the measurements in. You know, I'll have my wife measure me. And it's just, it's just that's still, like I said, dude, like that's, for everybody listening, that's the shame. You know, that, that, that, the pictures and the measurements and how I'm stuck in between sizes right now, that just brings up all the shit. That brings up the childhood pain, the, the adulthood pain of,

not having the physique that I've wanted, but having the physique that I've created, right? And that's hard to go through, man. And that's what I'm fighting through right now, to be perfectly honest with you. It's like, I can't even go, bless you, I can't even go buy shorts or jeans right now, because nothing fits, you know, the one size is too small, the other side's too big. It's like, all right, I'm just not buying any clothes for the next three or four weeks then. You know, like that's just where I'm at. And that's the resistance on the measurements.

That's the resistance on the pictures. That's where it stems from. So you see the benefit. And is it really about the shorts? Is it really about the weight? What do you mean? The resistance. Is it really looking?

And there's no right or wrong answer here. Just to ask. Is it about the weight? Is it about the shorts? Or is it about what allowed a, to let ourselves get here? No, I think it's, I think it's honestly just the appearance. Okay.

You know, it's like, is like, okay, this isn't where I want to be yet. This is still bad. And then when I do that, so like yesterday, right, I throw all my clothes and I go and I have this dates with my daughters and, you know, and that. And like, if I look in a mirror or something, I still see that person that I started with. Like, the amount of body disembarked. morphia and I don't I don't see myself the way I am today I see myself the way I was when we

started and and you know really going in an all out focus about 55 days ago so I think it was like after my TED talk so my TED talk was what March 24th or something like that so I think we started like April 1 like I think that's probably when we when we hit it and and so for me it's like I no matter how great a shape I am I always feel like I'm that chubby kid and those are the things that I have to get through mentally in order to give myself the physique and the opportunity to to attain that physique and then keep it right so let's look at that for a second if it's about the chubby kid in your head and you're not seeing the change now why do you actually think that you'll see the change when it's actually there.

I don't even know the answer that question, dude. I got to be honest. I mean, to be completely... You're not. No, I'm not. I'm not. You know, and it's funny because I was talking to my buddy Stephen about it yesterday. And I'm like, dude, like, what is wrong with me?

He goes, dude, I'm the same way. Like, we're all... Yeah, you are, it's like, we are all... And that's what I think people don't understand. like body dysmorphia and men is it's a thing dude it's a thing like it is it is more of a thing that people realize you know like it in it it is not fun it's it's women struggle with it men do too women are allowed to talk about it we're not well and you think about it right we have what do we have when we were kids we have we've got some athletes that we look up

to. We have GI Joe's that we look up to. We have professional wrestlers that we look up to. All of you have boom have superhuman physiques. Yep. And that is what we compare ourselves to. Women have a different thing. Right. But and then when we don't have that, we have our grandmothers. Hey, you're getting kind of chunky. You have your dad. Hey, why are you getting fluffy? You're poking you in the stomach. Or, you know, you know, my end brother, just to relate. Like, I had Jane weight and lost a bunch of weight. And in the gym I was working in at the time, they found the old picture of me and put it next to

Peter Griffin and posted it all over the gym. So it's like, this brutality is also taught. But I'm going to tell you something this, you know, that Jerry Flower said, the tongue is a pink brush. And your heart is the canvas.

But you don't have to let everybody's paintbrush on your campus. That's a good point, dude, because I'm noticing, man, like, the definition of fit now is completely skewed because of Instagram and because of social media. Like, there's people, I don't know if you've seen him, James Coppola. I like him. I like his content because you can tell there's an empathy side to that guy.

He reminds me of you in a sense of he, he, leads with empathy, you know, you don't use the language he uses, but at the same time, the message is just like, look, like, these are real human beings here. And, you know, because of, because of everything on Instagram and Photoshop and whatever, the bar of fitness has completely moved. If, if, if someone sees any amount of fat on a guy, they say you have bitch tits, or you're fat. How can you call yourself fit? I watched James Coppola do a 95-pound Turkish get-up with a bar.

Like, I mean, dude, that's strength. That's strength, dude. I'm sorry, I don't know. It was like 45, so 135. Like, and you're going to say that guy's not fit because of the standard of what everybody's thinking like that that brings the body that takes body dysmorphia and cranks it up a level it's like how do we ever feel comfortable it truly does like and you could there could be people that pick me apart let's take my my buddy Mike T Nelson right who is mind-bogglingly brilliant like

everybody that I know in in this industry looks up to that guy if you saw him you know no abs don't of that, the guy is not only a stud, but he's en route yet. And he works out and he does these crazy things, man. So that is, it's the truth. And I'm glad we're, we're sure, you and I are talking about this and it happens to be getting out there. And the reason, you know, to circle back to where we started, that's another reason why we do this. That's one of the reasons why we look at this and while we talk about it, because I'm going to let you know, like you admit it, even when you get it dude even if you have abs you're still going to see that boy until this

you look at them and say it's okay i can drive now you can sit in the backseat i can drive it's here's the thing brother like our past serves us in some ways and it holds us back and others how cool is it that your past doesn't need you anymore your future does yeah yeah it's great point man it's great point you know that's i mean but that's that's the and also i think you're incredibly sexually and i want to touch your button call you great well you can touch my button call me pretty in june you need it on camera if you want it's fine is it okay that i just got chills is that a thing no like it's the thing everyone has their price it ain't cheap baby it ain't cheap. It's going to cost you a plane ticket and a donut.

Brother, all right. We got your declarations. We went. We've gone through it. I will be updating everything for you today. Cool. Can we take a moment because of what day and this says? Yeah, of course. Real quick, before we do that, before you guys, you guys listening, today is Memorial Day when we're recording. And our freedom is not free. This is the most expensive holiday on the and it costs lives. So while you guys are, you know, grilling your food, swimming in your pools, you're at the lake, ultimately remember what was sacrificed in order for you to have that freedom. And I can't even look at the camera right now because I can't look at Matthew right now, because I'll lose it. But this man's seen a lot. He's, you know, been deployed. He's lost friends.

So today is just not a holiday for him. Today is a day that is hard on him and should be hard on all of us, but we should also be very grateful. And real quick, before we give a moment of silence to the fallen soldiers and everybody that gave the ultimate sacrifice for our country and our freedom, in order for us to even be doing this recording today, I found myself earlier today saying like, wow, like I can't believe I can't go to my regular gym because it's closed.

I have to go to this shit hole down the street. And then I realize like, man, I'm alive. And I get to go to this shithole gym. And I can be back at the Omni tomorrow. But there's people that risk their lives that aren't able to get in the car and go somewhere today. So, you know, I know today's Memorial Day and we're already those that have fallen, but Matthew, I'm sending you love today, dude. I know that, you know, the veterans struggle on this day because of the things that they've seen and gone through and experience.

And I see you and I love you. Love you too, brother. And I just want to second all of that. It's these days, you know, this day, it's an interesting one. And I don't understand saying happy Memorial Day. I don't understand. I want to say to those whose husbands

never came home whose wives never came home who got who had to get to know their dad or their mother through pictures because they weren't there we lost their spouse their husband their wives their son, the door

we love you and to those that came home and couldn't handle it into their own mind. They love you too. And something nobody talks about to those that

are just on the sidelines, civilians that lost their lives. We think about you today too and your family. And something that's been really heavy on my mind lately is I really dug into World War II. All the people, like, minorities, different races, different religions,

that were just rounded up and slaughtered and still are to this day across the world. We love you. And you know how much my faith means to me. I don't care. And I know you don't either. What race, religion, don't care if you're purple, green, any of that, we love you. If you've sacrificed in any way for this country and for your country, we love you, and remember you today.

Absolutely. All right, let's take a little bit of a silence, and then we will head on out, and you guys enjoy your day, and thank you for listening. But real quick, again, let's take a quick moment of silence for all the fallen soldiers.

All right, guys, listen, wanted to leave you on that note because we get to do all of these things because of those men and women, those sons and daughters, those husbands and wives, those mothers and fathers that have lost their lives

to the ultimate sacrifice for your freedom. So that said, I love you guys. Matthew, I love you. Thank you, brother. I just, I look forward to seeing you soon and continuing to run the play that you're creating for me. And I'm sure I'll be talking to you later today, dude. Yeah, 100%.

I love you, man. And we'll talk to you soon. All right, guys. That being said, please share this episode, this coaching call with those that you love. If something resonated, reach out to Matthew. so he can help you get on track and live a happier and healthier, stronger life. I love you guys. Until next time, stay determined.

Peace.