Determined Society with Shawn French | Adversity & Mindset - The Lies My Anxiety Tell Me with Brittany Richmond

Episode Date: September 19, 2023

Brittany Richmond's life took an unforeseen turn after high school - a twist that shook her to her core. The crushing reality of anxiety disorders became her unwelcome companion, turning her world upside down. This journey weaves through the depths of her struggles, but it also reveals an unexpected strength that emerges from vulnerability. Listen closely as Brittany shares her tale, for within it lies a thread of resilience that leaves us wondering: how did she find the courage to fight her own demons? Brittany Richmond's journey into the realm of mental health and anxiety disorders started soon after high school. As a young, carefree teenager, the harsh diagnosis of anxiety disorders came as a shock. It was a reality she wasn't prepared for and it led her down a winding path fraught with challenges. The falling dominoes of her life seemed to echo the rhythm of her panic-stricken heartbeat. Dropping out of college multiple times became the soundtrack of her life. Yet, within the chaos, Brittany found strength in vulnerability and a resolve to wrestle with her anxieties. Her story is a testament to human resilience - it's raw, it's real, and it's relatable. As she battles her own demons, she reaches out to others, using her experiences as a beacon for those lost in the labyrinth of mental health issues.,Battling anxiety disorders and the fear of societal judgment, Brittany Richmond found herself in a storm she never anticipated. The diagnosis came shortly after high school, leaving her feeling trapped in her own mind. Her life became a series of dropouts from college as she grappled with the weight of her condition. Yet, in the face of adversity, Brittany found a purpose. The echoes of her struggle fueled her commitment to become an advocate for mental health, specifically targeting the youth. Her narrative is not one of despair but of hope. It is filled with the grit of a fighter and the vulnerability of a survivor. Now, she uses her journey as a lifeline to others, sharing her experiences and offering a hand to those who find themselves lost in the complex maze of mental health.   She can be reached through her Instagram at @thebrittanyrichmond  Connect with Shawn: Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/theshawnfrench/?hl=en Twitter-https://twitter.com/theshawnmfrench Website- https://theshawnfrench.com/ Work with Shawn- https://calendly.com/shawnmf32/strategy-call?month=2023-09   Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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What's up, everybody? I'm Sean French. I am your host. And as always, I have an amazing show for you today. Now, if you're watching this on Apple TV, thanks for tuning in. If you're watching on Facebook, thank you as well. Or if you're just listening like you normally do on Apple or Spotify, y'all are the bomb too. Listen, I have an amazing show today.

But before we get there, I want to give a huge shout out to our sponsor, Legacy Luxury builders. We're going to hear more from them later on in the show, but a little bit about me. I am a mental performance coach. I work with entrepreneurs and athletes, and I help them understand that they are more than their performance. See, a lot of times in life, we just go along and feel like we can build our confidence based on the result we get. Do we have a good game? Did I make more money this month? What kind of deals did I make? You know, what did I lock down? What kind of car do I have? But the reality is, guys, happiness is much more than that. So today, we're going to dive into mindset.

We're going to dive into a lot of mental health issues. My guest today, Brittany Richmond, shortly after high school, she was diagnosed with a lot of anxiety disorders that brought her to where she is today. She is a student mental health advocate. She's one of 15 women speakers that help the youth across the United States of America. And I'm going to tell you, there's zero, zero introduction. I can give this woman that's going to do her any job. She's absolutely incredible and I'm so pumped to have her on the show. It brings me great, great pleasure to introduce Brittany Richmond to the show.

I am fabulous. How are you? I'm jacked up, man. I, I struggle with all my lighting today. I think I finally got it down. What do you think? Like, it looks, it looks nice and bright in here, doesn't it? It looks good. Um, mine is not so great, but we're, we're just living, we're just going. You're good. You know, I got to do all this. I don't know. It's, it's, it's, it's my, it's part of my anxieties, right? But dudes look good in every lighting, okay? Not this one.

Not this one. Not this one at all. So, no, I'm super happy to have you. I just gave you the most amazing, um, intro. Actually, I don't think my intro could ever do what you do justice. Like, I have taking some time to really dive into some of your content and things that you're doing. And I respected you before.

But dude, I was like watching some of your shit today. And I was almost in tears. Like really speaks to me. Like really, so thank you. You know, primarily, let's do this first, though, for the audience that's tuning in right now on Apple TV and all these different platforms. Why don't you tell them a little bit about yourself because I started talking about the anxiety diagnosis shortly after high school. But I didn't tell them everything, but I just felt like I would rob the story. And I want you to give what you give.

So you go. Wow. Well, one of the things that causes me a lot of anxiety is talking about myself. So perfect. You're welcome. Ask me a directive question. Ask me like a direct question. Ask me.

Don't give me like a general like, tell me about yourself. Remember? Because it's like, it's like that real where it's like, what do you want to know? My favorite color or my trauma? Like tell me what you want to hear. Exactly. So okay, so let's do this. So talk about right after high school when you got diagnosed with some of these anxiety disorders

and where that kind of led you in college because I know there was some multiple dropouts in college, right? So talk about that. Okay. So, wow, college was a struggle. Okay. I think that still being young, not really understanding how to cope with everything, I definitely engaged in some very risky behaviors, some very, you know, I hurt other people

including myself, you know, in this process. And I think that it was all in the name of, um, Yolo, like, you only live once and that, that terrible narrative. And, um, I'm doing this because I'm young, you know, no, I was, I was hurting. people and hurting myself because I was hurting. I mean, there's so much truth to that statement and just thinking that, you know, trying not to like deal with the pain. So you cope with it in self-destructive ways and your own ways of numbing the pain. And for me, it was, you know, just a lot of impulsivity in many different layers. And which led to I gained 60 pounds in

college in a semester. I mean, we're talking a semester and I didn't even see it. And I went, I entered college 135 pounds and came out almost 200 pounds. And it's just, it blows my mind when I look back at some of those photos and probably some of the stuff you saw on Instagram because you can even see it in my eyes. I mean, there are, Sean, I'm not even kidding you. So you know how long passports are good for? They're good for like 15 years. Okay.

They're very, very, they're long for a long time. So I got a passport taken like my very first one ever when I was 60 pounds ever, when I was in the throes of all of that. And then years went by. I lost the way, it got healthy. living with the mental illness. And I remember I couldn't get back into the country from Mexico. They wouldn't let me in because they said this was not the same person in the picture.

And I was almost like, I don't know how I should feel about this. I feel really good about it, but also like terrified that I'm going to get like prison. You don't want to be stuck in a Mexican fucking prison, dude. You just do not want to do it. No, no. So I remember it was a dramatic thing. It was from a business trip actually. And I was like, I can't believe this is happening.

This is what happens when you get healthy. Like people are like, this is something. This isn't you. You should have said like, what do you think I came to Mexico for? Right. This is all because I came here. Yeah, this is like there's a guy here that does this shit for very cheap. He does.

You know, we're kind of joking about it. But it's one of those things, man, like a lot of the things that are speaking to me, like you talk about body dysmorphia. Dude, binge eating. Like, hi. You see me. And that's what kind of, that's what got me a little bit because, you know, for me for so many years. And we can get back to, you know, anxieties causing lying and to hurt people and all that kind of stuff. We can get to all that because I have my experience with that too.

But where I still struggle is binge eating and body dysmorphia. Like I'll literally look at myself when I'm doing a video and then after it's cut up or a podcast or TV shows cut up. And then I'll post it. I'm like, wow, I'm not a ginormous fat ass. What, what like, what does that come from? Like it is pain. full. I know. And I hear you. I definitely still struggle with it. I mean, I can remember times when I would come home after a late night out and I would make like a tombstone pizza in the oven and then make a

box the mac and cheese and then eat the mac and cheese the entire box and then eat the entire pizza. Like, yeah. I mean, it's it just became this vicious cycle. But I from my end, I struggle with impulsivity. Right. So like I'm very impulsive. So and that's with. food as well. It's very much like almost like the dopamine effect, right? Like almost like food addiction. It's it just provides comfort in that moment. And that's where I think a lot of the impulse control comes for me is it feels good in the moment, right? When we don't feel well, we want to feel good as fast as possible. And yeah, I mean, the body dysmorphia, there are days I look in the mirror and I'm like, I still see the 200 pound girl. And I'm like, but then I see photos.

And I'm like, what am I thinking? Like, this is literally insane. But you're right. We joke about it. But I'm always under, I always tell myself, if I don't laugh, I cry. But there's a lot of balance in there. But I think we can talk that way about it now because there's this level of no longer suffering from but living with.

So a lot of times when I'm talking to people, especially that live with a pretty severe, high functioning anxiety, like we just don't have your confidence, Brittany. I'm like, it's not confidence. It's acceptance. There's a difference. Like I have accepted that this is part of who I am, not all of who I am. It's not my identity. But it's definitely part of who I am, which I choose to live out loud, right?

There are choices to be made and everything that we do. And I think that choices, that's what anxiety does, is if we feel like it takes away our choices, right? It takes away our ability to be in control. But in reality, when we accept, we're actually more in control than we realize, right? So. You know, it's a good point because I guess. sit here. I can talk about all the anxieties that I have. We talk about confidence and all that kind of stuff. And it does chip away at the confidence level a little bit because I think those are

too, they're not, they're not synonymous. They're completely, they're completely unrelated, right? And it's a, it's, it's one of those things for me. Like if I'm feeling a certain way and I have one of my anxious moments, I could come off very angry. Yeah. I notice it today. And I have to talk to my beautiful wife about this afterwards because she asked me to go get milk and in yogurt after I had already went and got water and then I went and got the kids. I'm like, I got anxious because I was thinking about like, let's just be honest. Let's live out loud. I was thinking about the fucking lights in here. I'm like, I have the show tonight. I got this new lights in. I want to level up my show and I'm like, fuck, I can't even get the lights right. And I got to go get yogurt

and milk for smoothies. And it can't, my anxiety came off like anger. And I need to apologize because you know it's not it's not I'm not angry with her like I a lot of times I'm not angry I'm just wound so tight because I have so many things that are going on and the first thing that goes for me is the gym that is how I self-sabotage I'm so tired or or you know like you know like I'll get like the one thing lately I'm starting to get like this the shoulder injury again that from like I have for baseball. I can't lift anything overhead. It's like when I grab my keys now, I'm starting to feel pinching.

You know, my elbow hurts. I'm like, well, all right. Okay, here we go. I'm injured. I'm old. Fuck it. Right. And so I said that that's the first thing I do.

Literally the first thing I do is get super sabotaging with myself. And it's hard. But then that creates more anxiety for me. So it's like I'm on this loop and this feed. And the reason why I share this that for everybody that is watching right now and listening is, dude, you're not alone. You're not alone. Like you think people like us don't have these same thoughts.

You think these, you know, big time quarterbacks that you see every Sunday or every Saturday for college football don't have these feelings. Guess what they do, right? We're living with these things. Yeah. And I, there's so much to be said about what you just said. And like you said, when you were like, oh, when I give it up, it causes me a lot of anxiety. causing me a lot of there there's like this moment this transition that I think that

habits and routines take over but it but we also have to learn to give ourselves grace in the moment and move through it right like we need to allow ourselves to move through it because I'm the same way as you it will manifest in personality shifting I will become angry I will become distant I'll become quiet you know so instead of like feeling all wound up and tight I have to allow myself to move through this like I have to say it's okay to feel how I'm feeling and express how I'm feeling, right? And that's another thing, too, is like, we don't know how to talk about it. We don't know how to tell people how we're feeling because if you don't get it,

it's hard for us to be like, how do you not understand how I'm feeling? Like, how do you not feel this way? Right? Like, that was always a big narrative from you when I was young was like, how is this so hard for me, but so easy for all of you? Like, I was almost angry at other people and blaming other people. Like, this is unfair. But again, there's that level of acceptance and ownership over.

over what I was feeling because I couldn't ask other people to change their lives, their habits, their routines to make me more comfortable. It was up to me to figure out how to make this more comfortable for me. And there's ownership in that. That's a really good point, you know, because a lot of people, I'm not saying a lot of people, there are some people that don't feel the way we feel, right? They don't have some of these anxiety disorders or some of these things that trigger us to, to have these mood shifts, right?

And more power to them, but we expect them to understand us right away. Right. And then what it does is it spirals off into a whole other thing, right? But I cannot believe you don't get me. Right. And it turns into like a victim mentality. Now we're coming out somebody else. Like that poor, innocent, sweet soul just doesn't get it.

They don't know. And how? And so when they, when we do things, they don't understand it, right? And it's kind of, it's really up to us to say, look, you know, you may not understand this. It may not make sense to you, but this is what happens with me. Here's my thought process. And I want to share it with you because I want you to understand me, right?

Yeah. I mean, how unfair of it is it of us to put that on other people too? So when we're talking about like living with anxiety or living with anything, right, that is maybe neurotypical, right? Anything that just differs from the quote unquote norm. It's like how unfair of it is us to put that on other people that we should just expect them to understand how we're feeling when that could cause a slumber. So think about it from their perspective too. They love you and care about you. And it's like we don't understand. We may want to.

We may never. So it's like grace has to be given on all sides. And that's where a lot of conflict when I, when I speak to people, especially in like marriages and relationships. My husband just doesn't understand my anxiety or depression. It's like, stop expecting him to. Take that off of you. Like stop. and have dialogue, have conversations because they may never understand. We don't really, I don't want my husband to feel this, right? Like, I don't want people to feel it. Like, I just need grace given. I just need grace.

I need understanding. I don't expect you to change your life for me. I know what I need to adapt. So there's ownership and understanding how to make it easier for you, right? And then communicating that to people that we love. Love it. I love this conversation so far. Right about now, though, guys, this is when we take a short,

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All right, guys, here we are. So the first segment, we are sitting down with the Brittany Richmond. And I'm going to tell you what, guys. We covered some things of anxiety and how it manifests inside of us. And it could get us to shift our moods and how people with anxiety can really expect

the ones closest to them to automatically understand. And we know that's not the case. So we were talking a little bit before about putting these things on, you know, your husband or my wife or just anybody close to us. And really, guys, for those of you watching, just really think about this. Just like Brittany said, take it off of you. Do not expect them to understand. Don't expect them to really truly understand how it feels.

You don't want them to feel this, right? So more than that, though, I want to take a step further, not just taking it off you. Take it off of them. They love you. They're here for you, right? So, you know, this is really special conversation. And I think it's timely because there's a lot of pressures going on right now. I think over the last maybe five, six years, it's just the dial is getting turned up more and more on our youth.

And you focus on the youth. In fact, I was telling the audience, you're one of 15 female, global, you know, speakers in the United States. that are focused on teens. So talk to us a little bit about your experiences with these children and what's your main focused with them. Wow. I'm very fortunate and very grateful to work with this population. And I work with this population because like you said, this conversation could really

go to anyone, right? When we talk about overcoming anxiety, but why teenagers? Because I was them when I needed my message, right? Like I really, we're most powerfully positioned to serve the person that we want to. were and that's who I was when I needed my message. So that's why I focus on with them. And plus I am one, right? Like I have the mind of a teenager.

So you do. Trust me, you do. I just fit in with that. But he does guys. Trust me. Big deep. It's bad. But it's fine.

I'm sure there's some deep rooted trauma with that. Sure. Why not? Same thing with all of us, right? Why not? But no, I love working with them. And typically I ask the adults, the people that actually, book speakers and that's what I do. And I ask like what is the need that you see the most in terms

of mental health with your students or the students that you work with? And it's always anxiety. Anxiety is the person that comes out of their mouth. Anxiety is almost like this from my perspective of being a mental health professional and stepping into the spaces. It's almost like this gateway, kind of it opens the door for depression and, you know, more severe mental illness. And it just seems to be that that gate that's just opening. And we see an uptick with anxiety and young people since social media happened years ago. I mean, there's a strong correlation in that in that graph. So it's just how can we serve them? And I really do think that opening up the ability to have that conversation, because that's a big thing of what I do is I want, I know they want to talk about

mental health. I know they want to talk about it. They just don't know how to talk about it. So how can I help them open that door and start that dialogue in a non-intrusive way? And in a way where we start the narrative in their mind of I don't expect them to understand. I just need sometimes someone to listen. I just need someone to hear me. Creating space for each other is a big thing for me. And also the person that's listening, how do you actively listen? How do you handle it when people are talking to you about this?

I mean, you're young. It's just there's so many layers to that. But creating space for young people is definitely, I think, a superpower of mine. And I really lean into that and letting them know they're not alone. I have had so many people, young people particularly. I mean, even adults, but particularly teenagers when they say, no one has worded this the way that I'm actually feeling till I saw you speak. And I'm like, because like I'm wording it in a way that is your language, right? Like I know because I am you. I was you. Right. So I know what that feels like.

And being able to relay that in words is something I don't take for granted. Like I know, I know that that they need the message. I love it. There's a lot of parallels. between you and I. And it's funny because like I didn't realize it. You know, it was more of a pull like, hey, I want to have Brittany on my show. Wasn't sure really like, just because I knew you'd bring good energy and I knew that there was

a, there's a topic here that teams needed to hear. But as I listened to you more, like the main thing you said is I'm the, I'm most qualified to help who I once was. When I pivoted shortly, very recently to athletes, someone said, why

the pivot? And I go, let's, I'm, I'm qualified because that's who I used to be. Exactly. Like I understand their anxiety. So I'm listening to you, right? And I'm imagining you in these forums speaking to these young kids. And then I'm picturing my athletes. I speak to every Sunday night in my community.

And they're saying things like, coach, this is like really resonating. I feel like we're heard. Thank you. This is huge. Like everybody needs this. I'm like, what? I'm like, you guys have. You guys have spoken to sports psychologist before.

Like what's going on? Like, well, you're saying it in such a way. And to me, it's like, okay, because I'm being real about it. Yeah. You know, this is like, hey, I'm not telling you this because I'm better than you or I'm sitting in my sofa or this chair and you're in my sofa. I'm sitting here talking to me. Like, I know how I felt at LSU.

You know, self-inflicted. So what? I get it. Like, but these anxieties that these, young athletes and these children, just students in general are feeling, man, I got to tell you, I'm so happy I'm not growing up right now. Like I fear for my three children because right now it's bad. I'm thinking, what's next?

You know, we got artificial intelligence. We have virtual reality. Like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. More anxiety, right? Now, can it help in certain ways? Sure. Sure, it can help, right?

It can make us, you know, a little more efficient in our business practices. we can, you know, have a little more output, right? But the bottom line is like, man, this measuring stick is getting shorter and longer. And our kids are, like, going to have to measure themselves up to other people, like, constantly over and over again. So I just, you know, I got to tell you, like, this is an amazing conversation because there's such a strong parallel, you know. And whether you're, whether the, you know, the youth are an athlete or just someone going to school and trying to get through life, like, everybody. everybody's going through some shit. Yeah.

And I agree. And I'm so grateful we have connected because of that and the mission to help as many, as many people as we can, but particularly who we were, right? Like, I think that there's so much power in that. And leaning into and being, when you said being real, it made me think of something, I do tell them, like, I still live with these things today. They don't go away, right? Like, I think there's, and I tell them, I don't tell you that to stress you out.

I tell you that to give you comfort because you can, the power of and is real. I can live with severe anxiety and live a happy life, right? There is no but it's an and. You can do both. They're not mutually exclusive. And there's power in that. There's comfort in that. And I got to tell you, I know you and I have talked about this.

I'm the Instagram real that I posted fairly recently about trichotillomania. That is a huge thing with young people. They don't, I get even adults. come up to me and they're like, I've been doing this since I was three and I didn't know it was a thing. And I'm like, it's a thing. And I talk about it because it is a thing. And it's even that way, like if that's anxiety manifests itself in so many ways, including impulsivity, right? Like we're impulsive because we're anxious in the moment, right? Like how can we satisfy this, this anxiety and get rid of it or lean into it or whatever the, you know, the subconscious motivation may be? But that's how,

that's something that I live with. And, you know, I know you shared with me that that's something. something that you did. Yeah, and I'll share it. So, so the viewers and the listeners are here, too, because I'm not, you know, now I know what it is.

I get like, geez, like, this is crazy. Like, when you posted it, I'm like, first I was waiting for your joke. I was waiting for your punchline.

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, it's called trick. I mean, that's kind of funny. I'm like, what is she going to do here?

Like, what is she up to? What is she doing back there? She's making me loaf? So I was like, you know, so I'm like, okay,

let me listen here. And so for those of you that are watching and listening, Trichita mania is an impulse-driven anxiety disorder where you can pull out your eyelashes, you can pull out your eyebrows. So for me, like if you look closely, I have a spot here that's gone. I have a spot here that's gone.

And my loved ones would always say, hey, you know, stop. They don't mean anything bad by it. They don't, my wife tells me, hey, hey, don't do that. But like for me, like, and I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right. But it's impulse driven. It's anxiety. it doesn't bother me that I'm going to look silly with no eyebrows.

Like it, it's something that I just cannot stop doing. And it's even like sometimes I'll be sitting if you'll catch me on film. And I'll just be like here. Like it's like also this comfort. It's like, what the hell? So, you know, I didn't know it was a thing either until you said that. And I'm like, oh my God.

Yeah. This is it. It's very real. I mean, I'll do the same thing. I'll just walk around and just like, just like, random. I can't tick my eyelashes because I put my eyelashes out. Y'all can't tell right now because everything's covered with makeup. But I'm growing these ones back as we speak.

But yeah, it's a hair pulling disorder. A lot of times people fixate on the same area. I lashes, eyebrows, hair, pubic hair, underarm hair, arm hair, leg hair, wherever you have hair, people will obsessively pull. And it's a large community. It's very easy to self-diagnose. You don't need medical diagnosis for it. It's just a tick.

It's a lot like fighting your nails and things like that. But it's just something that some of us live with. Tricket's a man. It's, yeah, it's, it was, it was eye opening for me, you know. It wasn't like I feel validated, but it was like, oh. That's a thing. Oh, it's a thing. It's a thing.

It's just not me wanting to mutilate myself. This is like literally, I don't have bad intentions by it, right? Because sometimes, you know, it'll get raw and it'll get, you know, like a scat. I'm like, it looks bad. And, you know, it does look bad. but I've I've done it for so many years. Yeah. There's just like,

just like eating breakfast to me. Right. It's like a habit. People don't. Yeah. People tell me all the time to like, stop it. Stop it.

My mom used to grab my hand as a kid. And I'm like, nothing would make me feel more anxious than that because it's like. It's shamed. You have to satisfy that need to pull is what they call it. Right. So it's like that's the impulse control, right? It's like it's almost like a relief.

It's like it's all part too. Like when you're caught doing it. it's like you know sometimes you can feel like you just got caught with your pants down it's like like I feel shame here yeah I don't you know it's you know I can't help it so you know I just that is something that I never knew existed and I got to imagine there's people watching the show right now that oh my God this is something you know this is something that I deal with you know whether it's on a large scale you know I've seen things you know in movies like where the girl pull their hair out.

They get large, balls, stuff and there's a lot, yeah. Yeah, I didn't know what that was. So, um,

you recently, which was really cool, given your, given your, your niche and, you know, with, with,

um, students and you had to speak to a group of adults recently, didn't you? Yes. How was that? Yeah. I,

I don't actively advertise that I speak to adults. I get asked from time to time. And if it aligns with, you know, my mission and everything, I will entertain the idea. Um, it was great.

I always get, I'm very nervous in front of adults because I just, I'm just not an adult. Okay. I don't like to be labeled as one. The only difference between me and teenagers is I pay my own bills. That's what I say. That is literally different. That's it.

But, you know, sometimes adults, but I was speaking to a bunch of mental health professionals. So it was a little bit different. But sometimes, sometimes I just feel like I'm too much for adults. And that's okay. I own that. I'm totally fine with that. And, but you know, you just don't resonate as well with certain. people there's no shame in it just is what it is so but it was great it was absolutely great cool that's

really cool you know um you're you're uh i don't want to spoil it for the audience but what's your what's your post game ritual what do you eat taco bell explain that to me look okay it's just a thing like i i love taco bell it's fabulous and um it's just how i was like look i spoke we're going to get Taco Bell. It's just like a thing. And people love it. People message me. They're like, you're speaking today.

Are you getting Taco Bell? I'm like, of course I am. What do you think is happening? So that's great. That's great. That's great. I had to throw some humor in there with you because, you know, like these topics can be heavy, you know?

Like we're talking about our anxieties and we're talking about everything that's real. And like, let me ask you, as far as the anxiety goes with social media and the youth nowadays, I feel like there's like a huge gap, right? There's this person that we want people to see, and there's that person that we are. And we're not, when I say we, I'm talking about the collective whole, the unit, right? Society. We're not doing a good enough job of bridging the gap in showing who we really are to people.

Yeah. I think that is the most weak position we could ever possibly be in. How did we get there? You know, it's so funny. Like this younger generation specifically, I believe, as a generation that's really like live your truth out loud be unique be yourself and then and that's great i feel like every generation has done that to some degree but what i see is people trying to be like everybody else because we're afraid to not be like everybody else because we're going to get

canceled or chastised or or or something you know it's just and a lot of young people i've spoken to um like some some parents of some kids are like you know my sons my daughters are trying so hard to fit this narrative of what their friends are wanting and they've developed eating disorders and all these other things. And it's it's because we're so afraid to be who we are. But that's the acceptance piece. Right. Like we can't be ourselves unless we've accepted who we are first. And when we're young, we don't know who we are. Right. We're trying new things. We feel shame and trying new things. We feel I want to try this, but that may not be what my friends like or I want to do this, but my friends don't like it. You know, there's a lot of, it makes me question the authenticity of almost

almost everyone, you know, who's young. So it's, but truth be told, that was where a lot of my anxiety came from when I was young all the way till I was almost to my 30s. I mean, we get this societal narrative on us, right? Like, go to high school, go to college, get married, get a job, have three kids, get a dog, get a cat. Like all, you have societal pressure. You have pressure from your family. You have all of this, these narratives coming at you. And, you know, I think we often see a lot of people get stuck. And then when they get stuck, there's a lot of anxiety there, too. It's just this, this constant thread, you know, and it's like, how can we get to a place of taking off the mask that we wear every day, right? I mean, I'm sure you know my love of the breakfast club. John, I talk about it all

the time. I talk about it in my talks to students. The breakfast club is like literally the best movie ever because it is so relevant to today, okay? It is so relevant. And because once you all take the mask off, you realize everybody to some degree has experienced trauma, abuse, neglect, anxiety, worry, depression, expectations, comparisons, limitations, miscellaneous toxicity, all the things. All the things. We've all experienced it to some degree. But it's like until you sit down and you're, you actually pull back the mask, it's like, what do we do? Yeah. You know, it's hard because I found myself in the early goings with the show, right? And what I was doing on my platform, I felt myself like, well, I'm not anything yet,

so I need to be somebody else. I need to speak a different way. Someone said to me one time, like, hey, you know, maybe sometimes when you get fired up, maybe you, you know, maybe you're, maybe people aren't coming to your page and following you because, you know, maybe you're, maybe they're intimidated, too aggressive. I go, no, I don't think that's it. I don't think that's it at all. Because if you really know me and you follow me for more than one post,

you know I have an extreme amount of compassion that love people, and I'm not in a whole, right? I'm just not. I may say things sometimes that don't come off well, but like I'm a human being. So what? Like, hey, my bad, right? Cancel me, don't cancel me.

Whatever you want to do, don't care. Don't care, right? And then I started sitting there saying like negotiating with myself, Well, maybe they're right. Maybe this is something. This is where it gets dangerous, right? And so a long time ago, I wanted to work with athletes and I wanted to work with the youth. Well, there's no money there, Sean.

They don't have any money. They can't pay you. They can't do this. They can't do that. They can't do this. They can't do that. And I'm thinking, oh, yeah, you're right. They can't.

They can't. They can't. They can't. And then I realized, you know, here we are a couple months later. And I'm like, we're not, not. I mean, sorry, a couple months ago. And I'm like, yeah, I'm really not happy doing it like this. Like, this is not my jam.

This is not fun. I don't want to do this anymore, right? Now, listen, I love interviewing celebrity entrepreneurs. It's cool. Like, there's something special about all these people. Like, there's this ingredient with their minds, building these elite mindsets and being successful in business. But it wasn't fulfilling me all the way, right? And so for me, the moment I decided I'm going back to my roots.

I cannot tell you my page is lighting up again. Yeah. My page is lighting up better than it's ever have, but it ever has. That's terrible English. But like I'm getting 17, 17 U, Canadian national beach volleyball players following me. Nice.

I have Notre Dame volleyball players follow me, one of which who's in my community and some of her friends are coming on Sunday to be a part of the call. I'm talking to SEC baseball players now, right, where I played about one-on-one mentorship. So I'm saying. Alignment. See, that's the thing, right? That's the thing.

You cannot say the wrong thing to the right people. Exactly. So the people out there listening, watching, dude, run your race. Like run your dang race, man. Stop sitting there worrying about what you think other people are going to say about you, how they feel about your platform, how they feel. you're running your business or how you put your dang shoes on in the morning. Who cares if you are comfortable with it and you're not hurting anybody as a result,

do you, period. 100% because people aren't going to like you anyway, whether you are faking who you are. We talked about this before. So I'm faking it till you make it. Which is a horrible thing. Like when you really think about it, it's like faking what, right? Like you're faking it until you make it.

Like did you really make it? Because you weren't authentic, right? Like you weren't yourself. in this process. And when you start, you know, living your authenticity and staying in your lane, you know, in alignment, alignment with your purpose, right? You will start to see the wrong people leave and the right people come in. Just like you said, you can't say the wrong thing to the right people, which is 100% correct. And honestly, I get asked this all the time. Literally at every event, it makes me laugh. And it's usually an adult when I get off stage and they say,

how can you get on stage and speak when you have such bad anxiety? And I'm like, it's a common question. I can ask it all that makes total sense, right? Because a neurotypical would be like, I'm not stepping on stage. Are you insane? But this is how I know I'm in alignment with my purpose, because this does not give me anxiety, right?

One-on-one conversations like those give me a lot of anxiety. And I'm like, let me tell you how I'm feeling right now. But the more people I'm in front of, the more comfortable I am, because they're not looking at me, they're hearing me, right? They're just hearing my words. This is about, you know, the words that flow through me are what they need to hear, not what I want to say,

right? There's a difference there. And, and I'm just like you. I was speaking years ago on mental health in general, speaking just to speak. Nothing was happening. But when I really went back to speaking to the person that I was, my business just blew up. I'm busier than I've ever been. I'm so grateful for every opportunity I have. I'm grateful to be here with you. I'm grateful that you took time out of your day away from your family, away from your friends. And doing other things that we would always rather be doing to show up to serve someone else with our message. Like that is purpose. That is alignment. And I don't take that for granted. So, well, I believe in it and I believe in you. And that's why we're having this conversation. Right.

So it's like, you know, it's funny because I'm sitting here listening to you speak. And you're talking about when you are at full alignment, things start happening. It's almost like you don't even have to prepare for it. You know, it's crazy. Like I, I got hooked up with this individual, a good baseball guy, never, never, I haven't heard of them, right? But we, but we spoke, I don't know, maybe three days ago, maybe four days ago. I was at a Starbucks. And we're texting back and forth, met him on LinkedIn, right? One of my, my marketing directors, they found him on LinkedIn.

They're talking to him. It's like, hey, this guy might have an athlete for us. You need to reach out to him. I'm like, okay, cool, awesome. Start texting the homeboy up. We're talking. He's in mid-flight texting me. So obviously about the Wi-Fi.

Dope, dude, I can dig that, right? I can't. I get the Wi-Fi. My anxiety won't let it not happen, right? I have to have it, right? So I am, you know, he ends up calling me right when he lands and we have this amazing conversation. We're just talking shop, dude. We're talking baseball.

Love it. We're talking about, like, you know, players in their performance anxiety. What he does, this guy works with 41, like, minor league baseball players. He works with big time. college players and that's the guy that, you know, referred me blindly. Never met me in person. But like talk to me one time and I'm in the middle of talking to an SEC baseball players for mentorship.

So it's like, you know, when you get to where you're supposed to be, you don't have to think about what you're saying. You don't have to, you don't have to prepare. You can speak from your heart. And I think that is what we are missing today in society in general. So we're not speaking with our hearts enough because we're thinking about what somebody else wants to hear. It doesn't matter.

Your message is going to get where it's supposed to get. Yeah. Period. That's what it is. No, I'm here for it. I'm so excited. I know. I'm just like,

I'm saying to say to that. I'm just so excited for everything you said. I concur, sir. I concur. I concur. No, man. So what's next, man? What do you got?

You've got some cool things lined up. What do you got going? Well, I'm finishing my book right now, which is very exciting. Talk to me about the book. So the book is called Lies. My Anxiety Has Told Me, Including that I could never write this book. That's the, and it's the how-to of going from suffering from to living with anxiety. So it's part memoir, part self-help, right?

So I'm going through each chapter will be a lie, a common one that we've all been told and detailing out my stories and how I've overcome that. And, you know, what I've battle tested is what I say. like this is what I battle tested every day for years. And it's it's about proactive solutions. Like what can I do every day when I feel well to stay well? Right. Like that's that's the that is the key. Because oftentimes we talk about coping with anxiety, we talk about how to cope with, you know, the symptoms, right? Like so we do the deep breathing and the cold compress and the grounding and all that is super important and definitely things that I utilize. But what is at the core, right? Like I'm interested into what's causing the anxiety, like and targeting that behavior.

Ergo, if we can learn how to handle that, then the anxiety should dissipate or not be as strong, right? So, like, that's really where I want to focus. So the book should be out before the end of the year, if not really next year. So I'm very excited. Very cool. I'm excited. Can I have a sign copy?

Absolutely. I'm going to put you on the spot. Dude, I'm going to put you on the spot. I'd say it's a brilliant title. Guys, lies my anxiety told me. Yeah. This is something that if you really break down that sentence, lies, my anxiety told me. You guys just close your eyes.

If you're watching, just hit pause, right? And think about it. You're going to come up with so many different things that you are holding out on right now in your life because of a lie your anxiety is telling you. Yeah. It could manifest in a lot of different things. Well, you know, I just don't have the genetics to be jacked. Well, you know, I don't have a podcast studio. so I can't have a podcast like The Determine Society.

Let me tell you guys something. Not that any of you guys want something like mine, but let me tell you guys one thing. It started in a vehicle. Love that. I showed started in a VW Atlas, an SUV. I would talk in my iPhone on an anchor app, right? That's all I would do.

My show notes suck. There was no post-production. There was no music. There was no editing. There was no anything. And then it turned into just, inside of a room with a picture that I printed out at CVS, and I put it in a frame on and put it on my wall,

I'm like, this is dope, I've made it. And it was just a piece of crap poster from a logo I made in Canva. And then it turned into the sign, you know, and then it turned into the acoustic stuff. And, you know, but like, let's be honest, guys, I'm just in a den in my home. That's all I'm doing. There's nothing fancy about this. I'll do it behind the scenes.

For those that are watching it in list, I'll do it behind the scenes and I'll do a nice little Instagram story. So you guys can see what's going on in here. I've got lights over here. I've got a bed on the other side of me. Do not let your anxiety lie to you until you can't do something. Okay. That's my point. It's not a boastful, you know, point I'm trying to make.

it's a no dude no girl uh-uh you want to do something if that anxiety is kicking and telling you you can't do it because you're not good looking enough you're not smart enough you're not thin enough you do not have what it takes you don't have enough money start thinking differently thinking how can i do that yes ownership yes and i think that we all struggle with that voice in our head right we all have it and i hear it all time it's like briny brady brady bruny i can't control the voice in my head i can't control it it won't stop and i said oh yeah me do but here's the thing cool thing. We can control how we respond to it. Right. So every time I'm like, I tell them, like, you don't think every time I get ready to step on stage that I'm not thinking,

why am I here? Why did they pick me? They could have picked anybody else. They're not going to care what I have to say. I am nobody. Da-da-da-da-da-da. And doing all this stuff. And you know how I choose to respond to that? I get on stage anyway, right? Like, I stop making it about me in that moment and make it about my audience because that's what it is we make everything very internal maybe it's about taking what makes us unique and exploiting it in the service of someone else because that is where transformation happens that's how we change our mindset gratitude and serving someone else with what we're doing right like then it starts to transform so and I think that that doesn't mean you won't have criticism because for the record if you're not being criticized you're not getting

out there, okay? But those are not your people. So stop listening. Stop letting that one cut through the noise and get out there and serve others with your message because and don't compare chapter one to someone else. Your chapter one to someone else is chapter 20, right? Like there's your chapter one started in a car. You're currently on chapter 10, right?

Like people are going to look at that and be like, I could never get on Sean's level. It's like the level you're at right now is not going to look the same in 10 years and vice versa. And it's just to look the same in five months. I mean, maybe even sooner. Right. Like there's some things going on. You know, like there's some major shifts going on in my relationships. My relationship capital is just growing and growing.

100% same. Yeah. And it's just like this, this studio or this setup may not even be here in three months. I don't know. And it's not for me to judge either, right? I just think it's so important. You know, I want to give the audience some tips. You know, when you're talking when you're having those moments, all right?

when the anxiety starts to lie to you and you're backstage ready to go out there. Why are you here? Why are they pick me? They can do anything else. Can you give the audience maybe three tips that they can start with small? So that moment, maybe later tonight, right? Or maybe tomorrow morning that they can start working on living with that, right? And working through it.

Well, I think changing the dialogue in your mind from eye statements to use statements is really important. it's a very simple shift but when we have that voice in our head we're very much focused on i right like i i i i let's start saying you you know you say it's honestly that's a that's a therapeutic technique that you learn in counseling when you speak to other people is stop saying like i feel it's you know what i mean like um i'm sorry the reverse the reverse i'm speaking about it wrong so really putting that emphasis on your audience right so you're here to serve so stop taking the focus off yourself. But I mean, this is, this is like really leaning into the fact, y'all, that like everybody struggles with this. There is no way to turn it off. All you can do is transform it, right?

Like, you just have to be able to transform the narrative. So you have to be authentic. And I think that there is when you're aligned with your purpose. So if it's really anxiety or if there's things you're doing that are really just weighing you down and stressing you out, ask if it's aligned with you. There's got to be a misalignment somewhere, morally, ethically. spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally, something is misaligned. And not like in a way of like, I'll compromise and make it happen. But something is not aligned with me. Ergo, it's making, it's weighing me down really, really hard.

So if there's misalignment, that's okay. This is just feedback, right? So your anxiety is telling you something. So what's it telling you? Is it trying to stop you from doing good or is it's trying to stop you from doing something that isn't in alignment with you? It's funny because there's been. a lot of relationships that I've walked away from.

I'm not talking about romantic relationships. I'm talking about just friendships and even in the space to where I would hang out long enough to understand like I'm feeling a feeling right now. And it's a pit in my stomach. And I feel as though I'm not as good as that person. And okay, that's your insecurity. That's your anxiety. And that's what I put it off on for a very long time.

But then I realize, wait a second. I'm really not actually in alignment with this person. I have to walk away, right? And I don't need to give an explanation. I don't need to get gas lit. Because I'm going to tell you, I know what I'm going to freaking get gaslit by someone. And I'm, and I, and dude, you know what?

I got gas lit by my daddy for far too long. And I'm not going to let any other. And it always happens with men. I always let men do it to me. Men, that is where my anxiety is, is upset. or having a male figure disappointed in me. Interesting. It irks me, dude, like it really Fs with my whole psyche.

So the moment I start feeling that, that is my cue, like, okay, no. Like, this isn't valid. You have to move and you have to move quick. You have to go as far away from this person as you possibly can. And I don't mean in a sense of like, okay, I'm uncomfortable. So my growth is happening. I'm going to run. No, no, no.

When you start feeling that survival mode kicking, that is everything in your being, everything in your fiber, just telling you like, dude, run, man, run away from that person. So, you know, it could be, like you said, maybe this specific thing or this event somewhere, you're misaligned.

But also, guys, girls, look at who you're with. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I got to tell you. Like, I'm so, I am so. I am so happy right now, and I'm going to give them some love on air.

Brad and Misty Johnson, I'm so blessed for these two. They've stuck with me for so long, right, until I found what I really loved and what I wanted to do, and they are right or dies. And they're behind this, they're behind this movement, the Edge Institute for athletes. they are working their asses off to help me and bring people and really edit things and do things. Like, they're incredible. Like, so for me, like, I don't get to be upset where I'm at right now. Yeah. Because I have these two amazing individuals, their husband and wife.

And they just light me up because they believe in me. I hear you. And they've, you know, you only meet those people that just, they're all in on you. Yeah. Like, like, I don't even care. Like, I know, I know you're going to make it and we're going to, we're right there with you. Like, we're going, homie. You can't get rid of us.

Yes. That's, I mean. Dude, those are my people, man. Exactly. And I think that is my biggest flex of late is the people in my life. And when people talk about their biggest flex, it's very, it can be whatever. But typically it's something like about them. And I'm like, my biggest flex are the people in my life right now.

And I could, I could name them all by name. I mean, I just, they have elevated me so much. And that would be tip number two, I think I would say for people is to cheer for people around you. Like, even if you feel those moments of like, there are a few steps ahead of me. Envy and jealousy are natural emotions. But how are you going to transform that? You're going to transform that.

And like, you're doing amazing, friend. And you cheer for other people. They're going to cheer for you and vice versa. That will level you up. And then they will talk. about you in rooms that you are not in, which is what you want. And you want to talk about these people that are special to you in rooms that they are not in. This is how you constantly level up mentally and emotionally. And then my third tip would be gratitude, which goes along with that.

I think constantly being reminded and being grateful for where you are because where you are is not where you were before. And I always tell my friends this and again, my biggest flex, these people in my life is just focus on getting one degree better every single day. That's it. It doesn't have to be leaps and bounds. But are you doing the little behaviors every day that move your business, that move you physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, whatever it is forward every single day. One percent. That's it. Just focus on being one percent better every day. And there's so much gratitude with that. There's a book by Dan Sullivan. It's called The Gap and the Gain. and he talks a lot about that, like really appreciating the fact because oftentimes we get somewhere,

we could all be like, I'm not where I want to be right now. But let's look back at where we were a year ago. We're not in the same place, right? So we need to appreciate the gap there, right? There's gratitude in that. And yeah, so those would be those would be my things. And I just want to, again, flex out for my people. And I'm assuming I know that they listen to everything.

And so, Chris and Sam, Alyssa, Dan, and Tyler, these people are my people. They have been with me. They're my absolute best human friends. And then my sister, Courtney, and my husband, Rob's, like, without these people, I wouldn't be here. And I know that. So. Well, I absolutely adore you. You are amazing.

You're incredible human being. I'm super happy that we got connected. And I love watching you freaking win. You inspire me. Same. Sure we do. Sure you do. And so with that being said, guys, I want you to go find Brittany Richmond at the Britney Richmond on Instagram.

If you are a part of any type of youth movement, school, athletic, whatever it is, it doesn't matter. You need to reach out to her and have her speak at your next event. You have a website that can go check out? Yeah, it's brittany Richmond.com. Nothing genius. Just brittany Richmond. Just Google Bernie Richmond. You'll find all the things.

I love it. And guys, for those you listen, thank you once again. If you are watching on Apple, please leave a review, share the show with everybody you know. And yeah, guys, if you are also listening and you are an athlete or you're an athletic director or coach, don't hesitate to reach out. Shoot me a damn on Instagram or email me at shan. French at the determined society.com. Can't wait to meet you and work with you or your athlete. And we will be back next week with another amazing guest.

but for this week, we want to give all the love to Brittany Richmond. Thank you. I appreciate you, I appreciate you. Unlock your true potential on the field and court with our peak mental performance program for athletes. Train your mind to conquer challenges, stay focused under pressure, and achieve unparalleled success. Our expert coaches will guide you through personalized techniques, enhancing concentration, resilience, and confidence. Picture yourself outperforming your rivals, making split-second decisions with clarity and achieving victory like never before. Join us today and elevate your game to new heights.

Peak mental performance program where champions are forged in the mind. Email me today, shan.com at thedeterminedsociety.com for more information. See you inside.