Determined Society with Shawn French | Adversity & Mindset - The Queen of Men's Health with Ali Gilbert

Episode Date: February 19, 2024

In this episode, Ali Gilbert, a men's health coach, discusses the importance of hormone optimization and testosterone replacement therapy. She explains the difference between TRT and steroid cycles, emphasizing the benefits of TRT for men's health. Ali also addresses the issue of the 'skinny fat' phenomenon and the importance of proper training for building muscle. She highlights the long-term process of building muscle and the challenges of body image and confidence. In this conversation, Shawn French and Ali Gilbert discuss body dysmorphia, male insecurities, and the psychological issues that can arise from childhood influences. They also explore the impact of self-perception and external validation on one's self-esteem. The conversation delves into the fear of disappointing men and the tendency to take criticism personally. They share their experiences dealing with online trolls and the challenges faced by creators in the digital age. The conversation concludes with a discussion on the importance of doubling down on your message and embracing your polarizing appearance.   Key Takeaways Hormone optimization, particularly testosterone replacement therapy, is crucial for men's health and can have a significant impact on energy levels, mood, and sexual performance. TRT is not the same as running steroid cycles. TRT involves replacing what the body should already be producing, while steroid cycles involve higher doses and are typically used by competitive bodybuilders. The 'skinny fat' phenomenon occurs when individuals focus on cutting calories and doing excessive cardio without proper strength training. This can lead to a loss of muscle mass and a soft, untoned appearance. Building muscle is a slow and gradual process that requires consistency and patience. It is important to follow a well-designed training program and not expect overnight results. Body image and confidence can be challenging for both men and women. It is important to focus on personal progress and not compare oneself to unrealistic standards portrayed on social media. Connect with Ali- Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/thealigilbert/ Silverback Summit 2024- https://ali-gilbert.com/links/ Connect with Shawn- Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/theshawnfrench/ Free E-Book- https://mailchi.mp/thedeterminedsociety/newsletter   Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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I am your host, Sean French, and today I have with me a bad ass. Ali Gilbert, she is absolutely crazy, and she's funny as hell too. You will find out. But she's here to give you guys the unfiltered truth in men's health today. They call her the boner queen.

So I don't know that means I kind of do. But so we'll get into that a little bit today. But hey, Ali, welcome to the show. Thank you, Sean. So great to be here. I appreciate it. Absolutely. It's Friday. We're going to have this amazing conversation. We're going to educate the men that are listening on how they can optimize their health as men. And I'm sure there's going to be a lot of, you know, hormone conversation and just a lot of other things that we can talk about here. So first of all, why don't you get us started and tell the audience a little bit about yourself for those that are listening that don't know your background. Sure. So I've been coaching for about 20 years. And right now my coaching business is called Silverback coaching by Ali G. And I have a team of three coaches. And we specialize in doing online coaching for men, getting them jacked and shreddy and sexy and handling the hormone

optimization piece as well because that conversation does not often get facilitated for a lot of dudes and, you know, they're kind of lost and don't really know how to navigate a lot of that because there's a lot of misinformation out there. And I went to school for exercise science. So I had always wanted to train athletes. And I fell into men's health by training golfers because where I grew up in Greenwich, Connecticut, super wealthy, nine golf clubs, didn't know anything about golf, but I was just like, okay, these dudes take it seriously. I like, their type A personality, they could afford to train. And through golf fitness, I had all men as a clientele. And I was like, hmm, they'd always say, you know, I want to hit the ball farther. But then

the conversation would turn to like, how do I get abs? What should I eat? Should I take this supplement? And they would be taking random test boosters off the shelf. And nobody was talking about testosterone or sexual performance or anything. So I was like, this is a fun niche that. especially no female has taken over. And here we are. That's a really cool topic. Let's go back to golfers because, you know, you, back in the day, you know,

you had John Daley, you had Vijay Singh. You didn't really think of golfers as like this jacked up individual. And then I saw a picture the other day. It was really strange. Like after all these years, I see a picture of Tiger Woods walking on a golf course. I'm like, holy shit. That dude's a brick shit house.

That dude is. absolutely vied out, shredded, jacked, and he's a golfer. He looked like a linebacker, right? Yes. But that's not being talked about, right? And I'm assuming, you know, Tiger Woods has all the amazing, you know, coaching, nutritionist, hormone balancement, but walk us through the hormone conversation because I feel as like you said, there's a lot of misconceptions.

And it's almost become, well, I don't want to say almost. It has become taboo. and I mean, it's not. It's just misunderstood. Highly. Yeah. So first of all, Tiger changed the game for golf fitness because like when he came on 96,

like, you know, that's where the physique of the golfers started changing. And it's funny you say he looked like a linebacker because a lot of guys, aside from women, golfers are the population that are like, I don't want to get too jacked. I don't want to get too big.

You know, Tiger looks like a linebacker. linebacker. And I'm like, but maybe like a JV third string linebacker. He's really not that big in person. But they think that he looks like a bodybuilder. So it's really funny because these guys would freak out. And I'm like, nah, you're training like three days a week, goblet squatting, 50 pounds. It's not going to happen. We're good. Trust me, dude. You're fine. Trust me. We're good. You're not even lifting, bro. Yeah. Yeah. And they know I say that with love. So your clients are listening right now. I'm like, God dang it, man.

I'm firing her. She's just talking about me. I know she's talking about me. Like, what a bitch. I know what the hell's going on? 50 pounds is a lot. Yeah, yeah, it is. For a 12 year old.

But anyway, go ahead, go ahead. Sure. Where was I? hormone conversation. Yeah. Now, like, people kind of know what they're getting into when they message me or if they come to us for coaching because they know that that's part of what we handle. previously it was not necessarily a topic guys would offer their insight on. So I would usually have to extract it out of them and just talk to them how they feel.

Because when you're talking to somebody about their nutrition and their sleep and all that stuff, you want to know what their energy levels are like, what their purposes mostly in life, like in work and family and all that stuff. Like we dig into people's lives because we need to know everything as a health coach trainer. So the conversation would turn to me asking them about any sexual performance issues because I have no reservations of just directly asking. And I'm sure initially people thought it strange because they're like, how does this connect to my fitness? But they realize that it does play a part in their health. And had they gotten any hormone testing done, most guys haven't. So they never

thought to. Their GP never brought it up because most GPs don't. because of a lot of the stigmas. It's also not their wheelhouse. It's not something you want a general practitioner to really handle. So guys would be in their 40s, 50s, 60s never had testosterone levels checked. But then they do have symptoms which can surface somewhat like depression, but also low energy, low mood, apathetic attitude. Just don't have the same stamina either in bed, in the gym, in life, and all. of that. So that would really make it for a very easy discussion and connecting the dots for them as to how that ties in.

This is a great point. So on that subject, the first time I got my testosterone checked is like at 256. Oh, wow. I mean, I'm in my 40s, right? So I think it was a couple years ago that I first got it checked. It was like 256. And then so, you know, I got the prescription. And, you know, then they, you know, then they was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, you're at like 1,300. What else are you taking? I go, nothing. I'm taking what you gave me. Like, this is, don't shame me for my body responding. Like, you're going to have a stroke.

I'm like, no, I'm really not. Like, I'm like fucking great right now. And then, you know, I stayed, I'm still on it, but I did go off of it, right? I did go off of it. I would say the last four months of last year, which is 2023. And you want to talk. about a swing, I got really fat. I got really depressed. I just couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't get out of bed before 6 o'clock in the morning. And it was almost like when I would do a show that was the

only time that I had any type of drive and motivation. Like other than that, I really didn't want to do anything. And the other thing was, is I didn't want to get on camera either, like, and record anything other than a show because right now I'm looking at you. I'm not looking at me, but if I'm got my camera flipped around or if I'm doing something, I'm picking apart all these imperfections in my face, you know, how much larger is it? You know, where am I holding fat? And it just wasn't working for me. And so what I did is I had my annual, my annual visit to my primary care doctor. There's also internal meds. So he can prescribe anything, right? And at that point, I'm like, yeah, this is where I'm at.

He goes, okay, so testosterone, you still on him. I'm like, nah. He goes, and you said you're depressed. I'm like, yeah, he goes, you're not depressed. Your hormones are completely out of whack. Like, you need to get back on test. And he prescribed it. And I'm like, all right, cool.

Like, let me have it. And, I mean, it's a lower dosage, right? It's working a little bit. I probably will shift and go elsewhere again for it. But it's like, it's covered by my insurance right now. So it's like, if I go through. him. I have it, but what people don't understand is a lot of men listening right now, I think, man, I am depressed. Like, you may not be. You may not be. And I was that guy that, you know,

got really down, weight went way up, hopped on test on January 2nd, been up Monday through Friday at 4 o'clock in the morning ever since. And I've dropped 11 pounds, right? So it's like, it's starting to help. It's like giving me that drive again. So I, I, I, I, I think as long as you don't abuse it, like, I mean, you know, we're not talking about

pumping steroids and running cycles here. We're talking about hormone replacement therapy. Can you educate the audience on the difference between testosterone replacement therapy and running cycles because they're different? Yeah. Yeah. And I will get asked, like some guys,

you know, I'll do Q&As on Instagram and they're like, is it worth hopping on test for a cycle or TRT for a cycle? And I'm like, those are conflicting words there because TRT is not a cycle. So testosterone replacement therapy literally stands for replacing what you should already be biologically producing. That is it. And there is a legal limit in which a prescription can be written for a certain dosage.

Typically, that's like 400 milligrams, but nobody's at that level. And it's rare that guys are scripted 300, 300 plus. That'd be dope. I'll take that shit. I'm sure many guys would, but a lot of them don't need that. My wife would hate me, but I would take it. So it gets confused a lot where guys think, oh, well, if I go on TRT, I'm going to look like a bodybuilder.

And I'm like, well, you're really not because there's a shit ton of work that has to be done. So it's not like bodybuilders sit around all day injecting testosterone and look the way they do. They still have to diet and train really hard. and it's literally consuming a lot of their life. So the dosage being beyond, I would say, 400, 500 is what would make up something super physiological, which you would see more in competitive bodybuilders. They're on more likely grams of tests, not a few hundred milligrams.

And that's where the confusion comes in. And so it's so highly stigmatized just because of the steroid act in early 90s, where they think, oh, testosterone, steroids. Okay. Yeah, it's a steroid hormone. And it doesn't mean that you're cheating, though. It doesn't mean that you're defeated. Many guys feel like they're like a victim in a way where they're just succumbing to something.

Or, you know, oh, I tried to get it up naturally and just like I feel defeated. And that's not, I hate that guys feel that way because I don't want them to, you know, they're resisting something that could really help their quality of life. Absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, everybody jokes like when they were 16 and they'd wake up and it would just be like, how you doing, sir? Standing at attention. And by the way, if I have parents listening, I'm sorry.

You're just going to have to push stop and go to the next show because this is not going to be for you. No, I don't. If you have any reservations or you're shy, but maybe your husband might want to watch it or listen to it. But yeah, dude, like that's like the thing, right? It's, you know, it's a good thing to wake up and feel, you know, revitalize and like, dude, like, all right. Like, hey, hey, big guy. What's going down? Like, you're not going down anytime soon.

But like, hey, this is good. This is good. What's wrong with that? Yeah. It's a marker of health, like similar for women having a once a month period. Like, guys having morning wood is significant. Now, there are men who don't experience it and they worry, oh my gosh, I don't really get morning wood all that often. Should I be concerned?

Only be concerned. Like if you literally had raging boners every single morning and then all of a sudden they just start disappearing, then, yeah, that might mean something is wrong. Or if the stiffest thing on your body is your back, we might have a problem. Backs can get pretty stiff, Ali. They can get pretty damn stiff. They can rival one. for sure. I just think it's so important to have conversations about this and educate men and this, the community on, you know, how to how to really maximize men's health. So, you know,

have you been focused on men for the whole 20 years? Or this is something that happened recently? How long have you been doing that? Since about 2012 because I started learning a lot about hormones and more so selfishly, I just found it an intriguing topic. And I started like getting my own blog. blood work done and learning about it. And then I was posting about men's and women's hormones. And it was around in 2012 when a business coach I had at the time was like, stop posting about the women's stuff. You're way more excited about when you post the men's stuff. And I relate to guys a lot easier being an athlete and just not into like designer clothing and typical like girly stuff.

So I just took that and ran with it. And ever since, that's literally all I focused on. I've gone to medical conferences. I've even spoken at medical conferences and just developed relationships with different practitioners in the men's health world and really have tried to get the message out to not only just the fitness industry, but men all over because a lot of them are unaware that, yes, there's all these stigmas. However, a lot of the research and stuff that they're afraid of has been refuted, how simple and, you know, healthy it is to be having optimal testosterone. I even created my own

event called the Silverback Summit, which is a men's health event, just to bring the education and the awareness and the truth to guys because there are so many medical events that restrict what you can talk about. And there's a lot of women's hormone, like, certifications and courses and all this stuff, but there's really not a lot of stuff for guys. We're easy. You know, it's just. You really are. Just go.

Question for you. When is the Silverback Summit? It's in November. So we are going to lock the dates down next week. But it, uh, it'll be in Arizona. It was in Austin, Texas this past November. And it's so much fun. I would love the dates because I would.

I'll be there. Yes. I'll be there. Matthew will be there too. Of course. He's all silver back. Yeah. I love him.

He texted me. I love him to death. He texted me today. He's like, all right, bro, I'm going on a cut with you. I'm like, you're already cut.

Like, what the fuck are you? Like what? He's like, just more. I'm like, I can say. I'm a psycho in the same way.

It's like, okay, go for it, man. This is great. This is great. It's supposed to be about me, Matthew, okay?

I'm supposed to be about me, I'm supposed to be getting all the glory here, not you right now. So, no, but he's amazing. He does, he does so, he does so well. And he's got a really nice way to, uh, call me and his clients on their shit. And, uh, so empathetic, man, just, but, you know, he, he, he gets it. He really does get it. Yeah.

So, quality. Um, yeah, absolutely. Um, all right. So Summit, Suburback Summit in November, uh, walk me through or walk the audience through, some of the things that your clients tell you after they've worked with you, you know, and explored the blood work, explored the hormone replacement therapy and just everything that your coaching program has to offer. What kind of changes is it making their life? So typically they are either with a different clinic, which you live in Florida,

you know there's clinics like every five minutes. everywhere. All you need to do is write your name on a piece of paper and you qualify for literally any antibiotic steroid that you would like and they will hand it to you. So there's a lot of telemedicine clinics out there that they are either under the management of one of those or they just never had their blood work done and they have reservations about TRT and don't know a whole lot about it. So when they go through the process with us and they've had their labs done and they work with a competent professional and we work with Merrick Health. They are like, holy shit, nobody ever brought this up to me. I didn't realize my test was so low, like things that they had never gotten

tested because the panels are way more comprehensive than you would typically get at a routine physical. So they had things tested. They never realized. So that is also helpful because men usually need to see something tangible that is telling them something's going to happen that's not very good in order to make a change. Whereas you tell them, like, it's very hard to change based on something you can't necessarily see right in front of you. But it's like when we're younger and people are like, oh, when you're older, you know, you'll experience this or don't go in the sun because if you're 50 and wrinkly, like, and nobody paid attention. And of course, now, like, we're in our 40, and we're like, fuck, there's like stuff we should have done, but, you know, stuff, stuff like that.

So. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So it's helpful for them to see that. And then we dial in the training and the nutrition piece. So they get on a program that is likely training in a way that they have never trained before because it's always helpful to have that objective view. And I tell them, you may know what to do because most guys who come to us have been in the gym for a while. And they'll say, like, I know what to do. I just don't do it. And I'm like, dude, I've had a coach for six years. I know what to do.

And you can't negotiate with yourself. It's very difficult to coach yourself because who are you going to complain to and yell at and actually make rat like normal decisions from? We make decisions based on our mood that day, what the scale says, how we look in the mirror. And all of a sudden, you cut calories, you get skinny fat again. You feel like shit. And the cycle starts again. Dude, the skinny fat phenomenon, dude, like, let's talk about that because, you know, I've been there. You know, I've gone and cut calories completely and, you know, all great.

You know, I lost, you know, 15, 20 pounds. But, you know, I still, I sit and look great with my shirt off. I mean, so there's people need to be educated on what this really means. And I think there's a lot of people now that are looking for that quick fix, that blue or red pill, whatever the fuck it is. They take it. And then all of a sudden they're shredded. it didn't take you overnight to look like you're looking right now, everybody listening right now. And it didn't take me overnight.

Just like it didn't take these individuals that are completely shredded and jacked up out of their minds, it didn't happen overnight. But the first thing that we want to say as the public, well, they did, they're doing stairways. It doesn't even matter. There's still a lot of work to be to be done here. But my point is people resort into cutting calories way, way back way too far, not eating carbs. okay and then doing a ton of hit training what are your thoughts on all those that is like the life cycle of a dude in the gym and when i bring this to their attention they laugh because it literally is and and this is not for like mostly obese people but this is the population that we get are guys

maybe like 20 25 percent body fat and lower and a lot of them tried to get shredded and did it the wrong way similar to what you're describing which is slashing calories zero carbs or no or low carb, a lot of cardio metabolic work, and then they lose weight, but then it stops working. So when it stops working, then they either cut calories lower or they add more activity. And we know how that goes. So once all of that stops working, they usually feel awful. They look softer. They feel very flat.

They're skinny fat, something like that. But they're afraid because if then they add carbs back in, they feel like they blow up. They can't get any farther. And this is where the decision making needs to be handled by somebody else and you have to outsource it. Because there has to be a time where you have to push through the very uncomfortable part of weight gain. But it doesn't mean you're gaining fat because whenever you eat a carbohydrate, you're going to have water come with that because carbon hydrate, hydrate. It says it for a reason. Every one gram of carb we eat has about three grams of water.

So you could almost calculate like how much you'll see on the scale if you eat. eat X amount of carbs overnight. So that scares, guys, because, as you know, with the demonization of every macronutrient, carbs are still feared and thought of as bad, but they're so useful for building muscle and just energy in general. And the pendulum swinging in the industry from when CrossFit became popular to a lot of this hit training and metabolic work, everyone was like, oh, I don't have to lift or actually do long, slow, boring cardio, I can just do this instead. And that's not true. And everybody jumped that

bandwagon. And now strength training with rest periods beyond 30 seconds is like a foreign concept to a lot of people because they're like, well, I have to keep my heart rate up. And I'm like, you don't though. Because if you do a set of deadlifts that literally takes everything out of you and you do like six to eight reps, I hope you need at least three minutes to recover from that. Because if you take less, not only are you not going to be able to duplicate the same effort, but you're not going to be able to handle the same way and you risk injury. And you need that heavy, grindy work. Yes, there's a time in place for more metabolic work and short rest periods,

but that's not all somebody should be doing. And I think that we've gotten away from traditional, you know, actual strength training, learning how to properly deadlift and squat and bench and do sets of reps that are under 10. That's literally like that's something that a lot of people aren't used to and controlling the weight and that whole mind muscle connection and the typical bodybuilding culture stuff. But maybe not with once a week body part splits, but still upper lower is still something that a lot of guys have never done. Dude, this is freaking awesome because I mean, it's full, first of all, back up like last week. And we talked about, you know, men aren't used to being that uncomfortable feeling, right?

Or like gaining the weight, but it's not fat. It could be carbohydrates. Like last week, I've been spot on for like a month, right? And then last week I was up four pounds. I said to Matt, I'm like, dude, this is not. He was like, bro, we upped your carbohydrates. He's like, remember the second part of that word is hydrate. There's water in that.

I'm like, oh, okay, cool. And so we adjusted a little bit. I have a TED talk. I was like, he goes, you have a TED talk at the end of March. Like, I get it. We have a deadline. All right. I'll manipulate your, your macros.

Like, all right, cool. So we did that. But then, you know, I was, I was also sitting there last week and I was looking at my rest periods. I'm like, two minutes. Like, what the fuck am I going to do for two minutes? It's like, I'm going to be here forever. And I'm like, and I thought about it.

I'm like, okay, well, maybe he wants me to go harder. And I'm like, okay. So now, like when I was, you know, rating my workout seven out of ten, right? Now I'm at nine out of ten, right? Because I'm doing the trap bar deadlift's heavier. I'm going heavier. And again, at the very beginning, I was stabilizing. I have a couple torn, you know, things in my,

my shoulder, my super splenitis, my subscap, and a possible labrum tear. So we've been building everything around it. Now there's no pain when I lift at all anymore. So because we started building everything around it. And so now I'm going heavier. I'm really starting to push myself there. So what I want everybody to understand that's either watching this or listening to it is like, y'all, you don't have to do 10, 12 or 12 to 15 reps.

You're not going to build them. I mean, you could build muscle over time that way. But it's much more effective. Like, Allie's talking about is to go 68 real hard. Six to eight reps really, really hard. It's heavier. You have that grindy sash. And then you rest for two to three minutes.

And you recover. And then you do it again. That's more tension on your body. And that's what creates the muscle, not the reps. Yeah. And it's funny because anybody who comes from the strength world. So like anyone who has a power lifting background or something like that, two to three minutes is not a long time to them. So usually those guys will need more aerobic-based training,

but I would say anybody who's more of a recreational gym goer who wants a certain physique or aesthetic goal can absolutely benefit from doing what is traditional strength training. And likely they have not gone heavy enough, nor have they pushed hard enough because that's difficult to teach over the internet. So when I'm in person, and I used to do that up until COVID, when I trained people in person, I could see what the effort was like and I could understand based on when they finished the set. Either they were like going to sit down or they're like, all right, what's next?

So if your last few reps look the same as the first few reps, something has to change. And so when people upload videos for coaching, if we see that, we'll call them out on. that because it's hard to train by yourself if you don't know how to push yourself and you could leave results on the table if you're not pushing hard enough because going to failure is something a lot of people haven't experienced and so most people start most people stop their set when it gets hard so that's usually when the set starts that's a great point and it's so hard though, right? Especially if you're by yourself, right? You know, you don't have a spot. You don't have anybody like, you know, pushing you or, you know, see you're like, all right, that's good. I'm good.

I can't get another rep. When you might have had three left, right? And that's where the real growth comes from. So, you know, you really made me reevaluate just now. Like, wait a second. Some lifts, am I, am I pulling back? Like, it's getting harder on the last two, but is it hard enough, right? And I feel like, you know, in some exercises, yes, that's the case. Like my dead lifts and my in my bench, but I don't know about the other ones. Like I, I need to reevaluate that because not that I'm trying to shortchange or cheat myself, it's just, you know, I'm by myself. Yeah. It can be difficult, right? You're like, all right, I'm falling the script here. I did eight reps of this and I increased my weight from last week. And so that's the other thing, too.

When you have a coach, whether it's an online coach or someone in person and you, and they have it program tour, you can see what you did last week and the same lift. And then you can, you can, you can play that game. You just like, okay, I'm going up to five pounds on the first rep, on the first set. Then I'm going to go up another five pounds. And gosh, dang it, by the end of the three sets, you're up 15 pounds. Like, that's what I'm doing right now. And it's working. And it's also because I'm following the damn play. I'm running the play that Matthew's creating for me. Whatever the macros are, I'm like, all. right. Fuck, man. Okay. You want me at 2,600 this week? Cool. This week I'm at 2100,

184 grams of protein and like 170 carbs or something like that and 83 grams of fat. I'm like, yes, sir. But I'm not, but I'm performing. So yeah. Yeah. It's not it's not like this. I think obviously the coaching space is highly saturated, especially online. So it's difficult for people to determine who do I work with, who knows what they're doing, all of that stuff. Because it doesn't seem like, you know, for us as coaches, it's not rocket science, but to the consumer, it could be this proprietary secret thing that we know that people don't know. And it really has nothing to do with that. It's actually knowing what changes to make when, when to hold somebody somewhere, when to shift the calories if they need that, and then when to be able to identify. if they're pushing hard in the gym.

And then you just repeat what we say consistently for a period of time. And I think that's where a lot of people get stuck because they're used to some sort of rapid transformation where, you know, if you go low carb, you're going to drop weight overnight because you drop water. We all know that. Sometimes we do that on purpose to trick you guys because it is encouraging to see a drop in weight initially. And then that helps with the trust process.

but also you have to trust the actual process because it is a lot longer than most people want it to be and over the course of years it's actually dramatic what can happen and i refuse to ever post photos or anything of clients or myself that are less than three months apart and quite frequently it's about a year or a few years apart and that goes to show just how first of all building muscles like this glacial long process, even if somebody's on TRT. It takes a long time. Fat loss is really easy and quick. But we want to get our guys to the point where we have guys who have to do photo shoots and special events and stuff like that. They may not know when that is. So when that comes, oh, okay, we pull the plug. We've got three weeks. We know exactly what

to do to get you looking a certain way. If they're competing in BJJ, we want to make that way cut, but we want to do it where you're eating as many carbs as possible going into that so you're not depleted. That's where the science and the precision come in. And that, I guess, is perceived as more of this secret. But it's really not because it's really just doing something consistently for a long period of time. So if you're with a coach for a while, it's actually a great benefit because they get to know how you respond to stuff.

So my coach knows exactly what type of training I respond to well. when I tell him, yo, I've got a shoe at the end of February, all right, he knows exactly what to do. I don't freak out because I know it'll only take about three weeks for me to get as lean as I want to look. And that only happens when you've gone through that process multiple times over the course of years. So instead of looking at it as like a start and end point, because usually men are searching for like a certain look that they've never achieved before, just commit to the process for as long as it has to take. Don't think of like I have to look this way by this time because you may or you may not. And we refuse to give timelines. If you ask me, Ali, how long until I look like I'm 7% body fat?

And I'll be like, I don't know. I don't know your body yet. You know, I haven't coached you. I know nothing about you. So it would be wrong for me to give a timeline because if I told you 14 weeks and it happens in 14 weeks in two days, that I look like an ass. Yeah, it's a really good point because, you know, you said muscle building is such a glacier, glacial effect, right?

It takes time, but people expect it to happen overnight. And I think it's a lot because, you know, they see everything on social media, you know, lose, you know, 60 pounds in three months or, you know, I did this in, you know, two months. And the reality is they probably didn't. They're probably lying or it could be photoshopped. You know, that goob dude on, on Instagram, he's, finding fitness. That dude's amazing. I want him on my show bad because he can see where the bars are bent in or bent out and, you know, all the doctrine of the photos. But, you know, I just think that

you made a really good point about the body and how it responds to training and things like that. Dude, it takes what it takes. And where people get discouraged, where I've been discouraged in the past is like, you know, I pick a certain, I want to look like this in six months. Why? Like just, dude, run the freaking play, man. Just run the damn play over and over and over again. Like I want to be in good shape for my TED talk. I don't want to look like a slob, right? But at the same time, I know that I'm not going to be at that end product by then.

Like, that's in March, you know, I'm going to look good, but I'm not going to be shredded up by then. I know that. That'd be dumb to think that, right? And you're wearing clothes too. Maybe. Are you wearing clothes? I might. I might.

I don't know. It depends on how I look by then. I don't know. I might wear clothes. You know, you know. I could totally relate that. I was the same way like with my wedding.

Like people are like, well, are you just showing your abs in your dress? I'm like no, but I want to be like a fucking jacked bride. Yeah. And now for every event, every speaking opportunity,

everything. I am just like you. Like a lot of people don't realize that we are like this too. They think that we are the most confident, motivated people. And I'm like, oh, hell, we're addicted to caffeine, stimulants. Like, we are the most hypercritical because we're getting judged all the time by what we look like. And then if I'm on stage and I see myself on camera and I don't like it, I get really pissed.

Like, I've done podcasts where I just don't like how I look. And I'm like, I can't pose that. And it's all self, you know, self critical or like people would say, oh, you look fine for a TED talk. That's great, but I want to look the way I want to look, you know, because that helps our confidence. So if you feel you look good, then you're more likely to perform a lot better because public speaking is a performance. It's not a research-based thing unless you're at one of those types of conferences. It is a legit performance. You get on stage, you perform, you provide educational content, but you're also entertaining people at the same time.

So if you're not confident doing that, they're going to pick up on that and you're not going to be pleased with the way you perform. Yeah, dude. So, like, you know, it's funny because it was January 1. I took my wife and I took my son to the LSU football game in Tampa. I'm a big LSU guy. I played baseball there, yada, yada. Well, we ran in some people that ended up giving us their field passes for the fourth quarter. And we went down and, you know, we're there at the end of the game.

We saw the winning drive. and then we did the, you know, the trophy at the end because they won the bowl game. And then they got to meet the players. We got pictures and shit. And at one point, when I was in the actual stands, my buddy tagged me on Facebook. And so Paul, if you're listening to this, which I know you listen to my show, this is why I didn't add it to my timeline. Because I didn't recognize who I was. You know, why that feature?

I mean, I, and so like that right there, like that picture. like that picture specifically. I saw it because I saw him tag me during the game. So I looked at it. I'm like, oh my God. How many cameras are actually on my ass right now? Like seriously?

And so I'm like, oh, it's probably just a bad picture. It just blew it off. Then I go down to the field. And then, you know, me and my son are taking a picture with the players and where my son is. And I took a picture with him with Jaden Daniels, the Heisman trophy winner.

He was there. I'm like, what the, what happened to me? me. And so, like, that right there for me was hard for me to even post those pictures. And I don't even think I posted the Jaden Daniels one, you know, because I could tell how big I was. But I didn't add my friend's tag to the timeline because I was too embarrassed of how I looked. And so that's when, you know, I got serious. And that's what I said, Matt, like, dude, it's, I can't do this anymore.

It's time. And so, you know, genuine. January 2nd, I was in my doctor's office, you know, getting all my shit straight and doing all my follow-ups and all my annual stuff. And here we are, you know, three weeks in, something like that. I don't know, three, almost four weeks in. So, you know, that's awesome. No, I love that you talk about that because body dysmorphia runs so rampant within the male population.

And I, when I'm on stage, I joke about it because, like, women are thought to be the crazy ones when it comes to the scale and fat loss and all that stuff. Men go through the same thing. And you know because you experienced it. So you're not alone, guys. Like, guys, listen, and here's this something that you might be able to walk me through too. It doesn't matter what I look like. Like, I'll be in certain areas of my life and I will pick myself apart.

And I will think I look like absolute shit. And then I see pictures of myself like months later or like a year later. I'm like, dude, you look freaking good, man. So like I have psychological issues based on like my appearance, right? It's just something when I was young. I was always being picked apart. Right. So, you know, not that I had a bad childhood.

It's just my dad was a little different, man. You know, it's like, you know, he was like, hey, you get a little fat right here. You got, you know, right there. You got a little side, you know. So it's like he didn't mean anything by it. I don't think. But, you know, I get my dad a lot of shit. We don't speak.

But I'm looking back at it. And, you know, somewhere along the lines, I chose to buy an. to that fucking narrative. That's my fault. He was only doing, I think, what he felt that was best. He didn't have any other tools, right? And I'm speaking of him past since. He's still alive. Just not to me, really. But it's like, you know, it just, those are serious things that men do go through. And so it's just not women. Like, I can echo that. But like, it doesn't matter what I look like. I always find a way to like look at myself like, eh, terrible.

And then I see like a video or something that my wife took. I'm like, can I go back there? Yeah. Don't you love that? When you hate how you look in the moment and then like two years later, you're like, why did I hate that? Yeah. And we'll see stuff that people just don't see.

And, you know, that resonates because I'm the same with my dad. I don't talk to him, but he was very hypercritical. So that it's like my. running joke of being in a career that gives validation from men because I have daddy issues. But like it does start from there. So we get hypercritical over how we look, how we perform, all this stuff.

So even even the most shredded I've ever been for certain photo shoots, I'm like, oh, I could have done this better. I don't like that photo. Like how are there not photos that I like in a shoot where you literally, I was like 10% body fat, which as a female is crazy. That's so low. There's things that you just don't. like I had veins on my abs and I'm like, well, yeah, but it looks like I had fat like on the side

there. Like, Allie, hello. Dude, right? Isn't that messed up? And it's so, do you, let me ask you a question because I have this issue. And there was also a level of narcissism with, with my dad, too. So I mean, yep, I am so afraid to disappoint men in my life. It is, it mortifies me. It doesn't matter who it is. it's just so strange it's you well actually i lie it's usually a leader a male leader right that i am like terrified to piss off fall short for or anything like that do you feel do you experience the same thing oh yeah so if my clients are upset for whatever reason you know sometimes some people their process takes slower and if they get upset like i take it personally though i try to be

very clinical about it because obviously I am not doing something to them to cause anything. But in my life, yes, like I am very similar in that sense because I never had that male role model who was proud of what I did or excited about what I do. And that is real. That happens to a lot of guys as single parent households with women have grown since we grew up. You know, it's a lot more, I don't want to say popular. That's not the right word. It's in now.

It's like trending. Oh, we got a jinx here. But like, yeah, someone told me they're like, you're just a genius because you created a career where men validate you all the time. And I'm like, maybe clients, but I still get, I get picked apart on social media for how I look all the time. Do you do? Oh, my God. Yeah. Like, it started when I was on Mark Bell's podcast.

And that was the biggest platform I had been on last summer. And I get my makeup done for every event, podcast, whatever, just because it's professional cameras and all that. And when, when he dropped the first reel, I was like, oh, I really like, you know, I look good. And then all of a sudden it was an ambush of very hateful, vicious comments about, because I had like a tank top on. So my arms and the way the camera angle was, like I just look yoked. And I'm like, I'm 125 pounds, you guys. I'm not that big. And they're like, she must be on trend.

And she's, you know, doing more than TRT and blah, blah, blah. And I'm just like, who hurt you that you have to go after me like this? It's just crazy. anytime I talk about TRT or certain men's health topics, I will get a certain amount of trolls, which at first, honestly, and you can probably appreciate, it took a while to really like deal with. Like the first few days after that, that first time it dropped, I was like, oh my God. I was like, I can't turn the notifications off because when you're a collaborator,

like you always see the notifications. Now I can turn them completely off. but I didn't want to do that. And it's just very vicious and hateful. And I really had like a few of my friends had to like talk me off a ledge because they're like, Allie, you have two options. You can either stop what you're doing, shrink down to avoid all of this and not share what you're trying to share with the world or get over it, work through it and continue to spread your message. because you're obviously making an impact because people are starting to take notice. And I was like, yeah, don't want to shrink down.

And now I'm much more resilient with it where it just bounces off a lot easier. And it's more like bee stings because sometimes people be hateful. But I understand where it's coming from. You have a female who may or may not be lifting more weight than you, may or may not look the way you want. and they're on a platform that you feel you should be on. Therefore, you hate everything about her. And it really triggers all your insecurities. And it's very easy to tear people down over the internet.

Oh, it's simple. It's simple. They just hide behind their keyboard and they go. It's funny because what I get, what I get is like usually if someone post something or in there, and they're like an acquaintance, they call them a friend or whatever. This happens on Facebook. Doesn't happen on Instagram to me.

It's really strange. and I go and I or I'll post something they disagree with me. And they they send this fucking paragraph this long about how I'm wrong about travel ball. And you know, you might want to think about doing a post about this, this, this, this and this and this and this. I'm like, motherfucker,

have you been paying attention for the last two years? This is like all my content. Like this is just one specific post. And then it's like, then they make fun of your past posts, right? Or, you know,

they call you, well, hey, you should know this. isn't that part of your raw, raw thing you got going on? It's like you find out, you know, what these people are waiting in the weeds for you to disagree with them on something or say something that triggers them a little bit. And then boom, they tell you exactly what they feel about you.

And at that point, I just remove them. Like, I'm, like, you're done. Like, I don't even, like, fuck you. You don't even need to look at my platform anymore because you have no idea who I am and you haven't been paying attention. And you just want to get on here because I triggered your ass. Like, so what's that say? Totally.

And what's that? You know, I'm right. It's just like it's, you're mad. Like, why are you mad, bro? So, but yeah, dude. So, you know, like, what I always found is that's when I double down on it. You know, that's when I go harder. That's when I smother them in it, right?

Because now I know, like, my message is out. Like, okay. You know, like, people are listening to it. And some people are triggered by it, but that's fine. I'm pretty nice guy. I don't, you know, talk shit much about anything. but, except for the person that did that,

that I hope you're listening. Yeah, it's amazing how quickly people can get behind a keyboard and talk shit. You know, and what they don't understand is how fucking hard this is. Like, this isn't, this isn't easy.

What you and I do, what all the rest of creators do, to put our art out on the internet for everybody to fucking tear down or tell us by not watching it that it sucks. Yeah. Like, dude. And yeah, to take context, to take things out of context, not even listen to the full clip, not even listen to the full podcast and then just based assumptions. And I think like all of us may do that to a degree. I've learned like, okay, this is obviously something that is from a much longer form of content that I would have to hear the whole conversation to really make a opinion over something. And like with Andrew Tate, I happen to enjoy a lot of what he talks about. A lot of women hate him. And I understand why.

And a lot of guys hate him too. But if you listen to anything that he's done in its entirety, first of all, he plays a character. Second of all, he actually says some legit stuff. But obviously everything he says gets taken out of context because it does draw attention in views. So if you understand that that's how we have to play the game as creators is clickbait or whatever you want to call it, that's part of what we do.

because we run a business and the more attention we can draw, then perhaps people, if you don't like us, fine. But for everybody who doesn't like us, there's five people who actually do like our message. It does resonate with them. And that's where the messages I get from men who are like, I got my testosterone checked because of you or, you know, thank you for talking about this subject

because it doesn't get talked about enough. And I was able to do X, Y, Z because you normalized it. Stuff like that. That is why we do what we do. do and we can't stop doing what we do. But it is very difficult because there's always somebody who wants to tear you down because you're doing something that they can't bring themselves to do or never will be able to.

They would never DM you separately to have that conversation. Or if they saw us on the street and disagreed, they would never have that conversation in person. No, they'd smile at you and say, hey, love what you're doing, man. Keep going. Yeah. Yeah, that's what they would do. That's what they would do. It's just, yeah, it's baffling.

and it's like, you know, I'm, I always talk about it openly because it was literally my biggest fear. Like, I knew once I got on a platform like that, like that was coming. I knew it was going to happen. And it's just like, but you can't prepare for just how awful it can be. But then you realize, okay. And now I'm like, I have to lean into this. I am polarizing the way I look. Just my appearance, having short hair and having muscle, that is offensive to people.

And it's polarizing because it stands out. So let's go hard and double up like you said and just trigger the hell out of people because it will help more. Just they're not as vocal about it. I agree. I think you have the right idea and I absolutely love it. And you're right. You know, like, you know, some things can be polarizing. And those are usually the things that you dive in headfirst on because you know that if you get a negative response, I think it's more than probably five.

Right. But you're going to have a slew of more people that are loving what you're doing and your impact. So I want to land the plane here. And I want people to know where to find you and to work with you because you mentioned that people would DM you and say, hey, I got my test levels checked because of you. But I want them to know how to find you and how to work with you. So you can be the one to help them with their blood work and to help them with, you know, getting on TRT, great nutrition and a great resistance training program because they, like you said, Some panel, blood panels are incomplete. And you know exactly what to check.

So how can they work with you? And how can they have you manage all those things for them? My Instagram is the best place to find me. That's where I pretty much talk to people all day. So I answer all my own DMs at the Allie Gilbert, ALI. There's links in my bio for pretty much everything from Silverback Summit to applying for silverback coaching. And you guys will see anything that I'm doing as far as events or whatever.

will be on my Instagram. So that's the best way. Love it. And, Ali, I'm going to put those in the show notes, your handles and your links and everything like that in the show notes. So people can, of ease, just click on that and go straight to what you're doing and how they can work with you. So I just, I really appreciate you coming on. I had a blast with you. And you gave a ton of value to the audience about maximizing men's health, your story. You know, we had a lot of fun satire in there too, which I was expecting.

Thank you so much and I really appreciate you. Thank you, Sean. Absolutely. Until next time, guys, stay determined and do the things you say you're going to do. Peace. Southwest Florida is one of the most beautiful places on the planet to live. For those of you that are thinking of moving from other states to come to Florida or even just moving to a different part of the state, I want you to think of a big, beautiful, luxury home.

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But it doesn't have to stay that way. I used to compare myself to everyone around me. I thought that no matter how hard I work, I'd never be as good as the other guys. It killed myself, bullied. I now help athletes develop an elite mindset, so comparison no longer controls them. We teach techniques to cut out the negative self-talk and unlock their full potential. Imagine stepping into the box when it counts the most and feeling totally confident in your ability. Feeling invincible instead of insecure, ready to seize the opportunity instead of shrinking from it.

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