The Dick Show - Episode 10 – Dick on The Olympics

Episode Date: August 9, 2016

Download the MP3 The Cuck Olympics, fans send snacks, the disgusting state of men’s bathrooms, the disgusting-er state of women’s bathrooms, Lifetime gets something right, new lighting equipment, sexual harassment in the workplace and how to get away with it, big boobs and their magical powers, and Sean agrees to read an erotic story; all … Continue reading "Episode 10 – Dick on The Olympics" The post Episode 10 – Dick on The Olympics appeared first on The Dick Show.

Yeah, welcome to Dick. I'm your host Dick Masterson. You want Dick, you love Dick, you need Dick. You got it. It's the only podcast where everything is a contest with me as always is Sean, the audio engineer. Hello, Dick. Hello, what's up, buddy? And with me today is a very special guest, the beautiful, the lovely, the captivating,

the bewitching, Lenora Claire. You're like an amazing hype man. I should have you come with me everywhere. That's, as soon as I start to peter off with the hype, that's when I become self-destructive and that's when you need to abort me as quickly as possible. Like that's when you give the signal to security,

get this fucking guy out of here. It's usually around drink four. Like that's when the hype turns into insane self-destructive tendencies. Like, where everyone to me turns into like lizard men and creatures and I like this deep part of my psyche, this animus in me comes out and wants to just destroy everything that I've created.

So that's the point where you got it, that's the cell. That's the high water mark where you sell my stock. You sell the dick stock. Excellent. Okay. See, it's right about the stock. You sell the dick stock. Excellent. Okay. I'm ready. See, it's right about the start. You can feel it, but you want to feel a little more.

Maybe I'm going to get better. Maybe something else is going to come. So you want to, you want to ride the stock higher. All the dick. All the dick. You got it. All right. I got a lot of stuff to get through today.

I've made a running order that's working really well for me because I'm so disorganized. Let me start with what makes me a rage. Safe emojis. Did you hear that Apple has nerfed the gun emoji on the iPhone? What do you mean, nerfed? They've nerfed the gun emoji into a squirt gun. Apple, you know, Apple who runs the digital component

of your life, like the way that you used to, they took the pistol emoji, which looked just like a regular six shooting pistol. And they're gonna turn it into a silly little green children's toy in the next update. And it hurts me, it hurts me deep into my core because I use that emoji more than any other emoji, more than the eggplant emoji to tell a girl

that I'm really gonna fucking play, and more than the eggplant and horse emoji, that means I'm really gonna fucking play, I use that pistol because that is, that's the emotion that men have more than anything else. That's true. The smiley face with the pistol right to the side of the head. I didn't even go ahead.

What? No, I was gonna say, I'm sure about eight times a day, I'm perfectly capable of taking a life. Well, okay, you might be, they're gonna cite that for the reason why they removed the emoji. But just like, how's work going? Smiley face, gun to the head. Yeah, how's the meeting going?

Smiley face, how's the podcast going? Did all the equipment work out? Smiley face, gun to the head. That's how I feel all day. And now I have no way as a man to express what my regular emotional state is, except if I use it now, it's going to turn me into an even bigger rage. If I have to use this little squirk on emoji to the side of the smiling head, that's going

to make me that much more upset. That's what they've done. They've introduced the cycle of rage that can hit a critical mass where men across America start spontaneously turning into the incredible Hulk because they just keep hitting the squirt pistol emoji. So this isn't working, this isn't working. I could easily express it before how insane this meeting is going. How's picking, how's picking your cousin up from the airport going? Well, smiley face, the pistol to the side of my fucking head.

They took out a man's ability to communicate the everything that it is to be a man in modern society in two simple pictures, which might as well have been the same emoji. Smiley face, pistol to the side of the head. Impossible now. Impossible. That's actually making me feel more rage that it seems like there's more control over gun emojis than actual guns. Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? It's like Congress was like

at a stalemate with figuring everything out, but what they can, they can make a softer, sweeter gun emoji. Well, here's, this is the best part. Here's a statement from the woman who's behind this, or the organization that's been, Apple has stood up to the bullying tactics of the NRA and the gun industry by showing that there are more life-affirming ways to express oneself than with a gun. Says Leah Barrett, the New York against gun violence executive director. Yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't solve. If you want to say there's a problem with guns, this did absolutely nothing. Not only that, but now this is what I love about it the most.

So, okay, this is how emojis work. There's like a, there's a standard set of emojis that everybody agreed to have on their devices. And how they make the emoji show up is up to the device. Does nothing actually curb any sort of gun violence? It's just, it's a company, this is what, and this is what really pisses me off there is going. It's a company that's making a statement

that half of their users will hate. Like that is just a fuck you to me. You don't do, you're not only are you not grown up enough to have a gun and own a gun responsibly, you're not even grown up enough to use a gun, to think about using the word gun. What's next? I can't even use the word gun. So this is the best part.

You've got all these devices and it's up to them how they implement whatever the emoji looks like. So everybody just agrees we're gonna have a gun emoji. And now Apple has said, well, we're gonna implement that with a squirt gun. So you're gonna have moms and kids texting squirt guns to each other, and it's gonna show up as a pistol on the other side. It's like, hey, come on over for a barbecue,

and some fun squirt gun, squirt gun, squirt gun, on the other side. He said, hey, come on over for a barbecue and some fun squirt gun, squirt gun, squirt gun. On the other side, some kids going to get six actual pistols in a row. That's what they're doing. It's either for you, for Microsoft, who says, oh, fuck you, we're going to use an actual gun to do this. Now, their users are all going to get guns. They're going to be sending guns. And on the other side, they get squirt guns.

The worst part is it's 50% of their users, like I was saying, are necessarily gonna hate this, are gonna reject it. Like that's most of us. What, when does it stop? When I can't, when adults cannot just talk in stupid pictures with guns. Like they took guns out of ET for what reason?

That's why the government's scary, because they've got all those big guns. It's not the walkie talkies that make them scary, it's the guns. This is a real thing. That's why there's a skull emoji. That's why there's a gun. That's why there's a cigarette. By the way, there's still a ton of cakes and donuts and whatever that is actually contributing

to massive deaths and obesity that's not guns on a stupid platform. Yeah, it's almost like preaching abstinence or something like that. Yeah, you know what I mean? It is like preaching abstinence. It doesn't fix anything. It really just kind of makes things worse.

No, it's just means you can't talk about it. You can't acknowledge it. Everyone still goes on. Once everyone is trained to stop using these words and icons and iconography, that's when the problem will be stopped. Because the real problem is that people are aware that there's guns.

That's why it's not because, it's not because there's just like a culture of violence in some segments of society and some socioeconomic groups. It's that the NRA and all their money are constantly advertising guns to these kids who would otherwise never do it with Apple leading the charge. That's made me a rage.

Number two, that's made me a rage, is the Olympics. Where do you start with the IOC? What do you know about the IOC? They're the most corrupt organization on Earth, save maybe for FIFA. They, the IOC, the whole of the Olympics seem like the biggest scam in the world. Yeah.

Like I know a scam when I see one, when I'm, you get the labor to work for free. Yeah. Under the under the guys of represent your country. It's the greatest thing you can do. And it's like the sickest display of like superior political ideology. This this race that countries have to blow more money than the other one as this sick display of how their system is superior to all others, London running up $10 billion tabs, Rio is gonna be up to $20 billion. There's people living in like cardboard huts with that bird's nest stadium.

China's a $50 billion tab and for what? What about, have you seen the pictures of all the abandoned stadiums and Olympic facilities and Athens? No. Oh, they just, no, they spend like hundreds of billions at dollars or whatever it is. And it's just, it all goes unused.

It always goes unused. And how big is the committee that does like, like a dozen people, like 20 people running up this enormous tab on everybody's dime? And the worst part is, is there's not enough shit talking. Like there's it's like, you don't put your money where you're mouth is Obama or whomever Clinton Trump anybody. Hey, hey, if we win, like they should put out a statement, hey, if we win, if you guys win, if Syria, if you guys beat us at whatever you're doing, we'll give you

Utah, right? Right. But if we win, we get to blow up Mecca. That should be the even train. That should be the deal. Right? Like you can take the Statue of Liberty, put a Berkha honor and set her in the middle of whatever you got.

And if we win, let's put some stakes on this thing. Why do we spend billions of dollars and have this every four years? If we're just going to hand out 25 grand of metal, let's touch your liberty. It wasn't even meant for us. So, you know, you can have it back. Yeah, let's put some actual stakes on it. If we beat a Mexico and soccer, if they beat us, we'll give them all of Southern California, right? You beat us in soccer. There should be some gambling going on at these. If you beat us, we'll give them all of Southern California, right? Uh-huh. You beat us in sock. There should be some gambling going on at these Olympics. If you beat us, we'll give you all of Southern California. But if we win, we get all of Mexico's weather girls.

You got to send them all up here. They all get H1B visas and we get to keep them forever. Huh, bomb mecca with bacon. Yeah, here's another thing that makes me rage about the Olympics. Every year, they tell us who the Olympics darling is, right? Like there's always some Olympic celebrity that they try to manufacture at a this reality TV sporting event. Michael Phelps last year and it's every single fucking commercial.

Every single, it's like, it's like, it's like they're supporting him, like they're supporting Clinton running for president. Like, here's Michael Phelps, you're gonna love him, or here's, Mia, here's the women's US soccer team, or whoever it is that's there d'arling this year. So this year, I'm just waiting for it, right? I'm like, okay, who's the, who's the, who's saying both this year? Who's everyone gonna get all we be about and it's gonna do the tours, even though they can't speak? What, it's you saying? You saying both? Everybody's who's saying to me?

Who's it gonna be? Then I see who's walking up at the very end? Team Refugee. I'm like, oh, give me a fucking break. Here we, let's get them on the weedies box. Let's see the tour. Let's see the, let's see the, the Heartstring tour. Let's see them on the daily show. Let's see the, the, let's see the, the, the heartstring tour. Let's see him on the daily show. Let's see team, the team, the team, refugee hashtag

sure enough. Obama everybody, everybody falling in line promoting his fucking team, refugee. Final thing, final thing that makes me rage this week. Lufa's. Oh, Lenora, you know what I can comment on something. Have you heard of a little while? I was like, I'm sorry. I was like, I'm sorry. I was like, I'm sorry. I was like, I'm sorry. I was like, I'm sorry.

I was like, I'm sorry. I was like, I'm sorry. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, in every woman's bathroom that I've ever been in. It feels like an alive thing. Like it feels like every, there's no, you go into a man's bathroom and there's a good layer of crud around everything, like a meniscus of crud around. There's bottles that haven't been used in four or five years. The only bottle that's been moved ever is the jerk off lotion bottle.

That's it. And there's like a soap scum on the dish. You know, that's a man's bathroom. It's dead. It feels like a graveyard of healthcare products. A women's bathroom feels like it's alive. Every bottle, every bottle is dripping. And it feels like being in the belly of alien

with all the goo and things spilling over. There's strange, so I've been using 80s girls bathroom a lot more recently because my apartment has been turned into a ram shackle studio, right? The hottest studio on earth, but nonetheless, sound curtains, video equipment, everything hanging all over the place. So I'm going over there like a jackass showering in her shower and just not understanding what alufa is. Like I'm pouring body wash.

It's a country dish. It's just a disgusting thing that just holds on all. I really don't understand it. I didn't know is that actually true? Yeah, I mean, think about it. It's wet, it's moist, it's a breeding ground for bacteria. You're supposed to just rub over different parts of your body and then just like hang up.

It doesn't ever get cleaned. There's no cleaning of aloofah. It just has all these little pores that just hold in the bacteria. You're supposed to scrub it and then take off like the top layer of skin. So like, let me make an open, not quite a wound, but like, let me like open up my skin, right? Let's take a photo. It's taking off a layer of skin.

That's unbearing pitch that is a benefit. Exactly, right. So you're taking off open up my skin, right? Let's take a look. It's taking off a layer of skin. That's unbeknownst to that as a benefit. Exactly, right. So you're taking off several layers of skin, making it more vulnerable ultimately, and then putting something that's disgusting and bacteria covered into the now more open layers of skin, and just rub it all around. So I think there are a lot of bacteria on there.

I mean, like, I know that makes sense, but like, it's just sitting there. Think about it. Well, I know, like, you got to clean your ass with that thing. Test it. And like, what if you just, it's just sitting there, think about it. Well, I know, when you got a cleaner, ask it. Test it. And like, what if you just, you know, rinse it and squeeze it out and wash it in like super, super hot water? Where are you getting all this hot water?

What are you getting? What are you getting? I mean, yeah, there's, you can clean things. Are you on the loofah or what? No, honestly, I'm not. So I'm, I'm just curious, I'm like, for bathroom bathroom using shower gel, feeling like a homeless man bathing in the sink. Like I'm in a McDonald's, squirting soap goo into my hand and then kind of smearing it around

and not feeling clean at all. Like I smell flowery, but I don't feel clean. And nothing is getting, nothing is penetrating any of the crevices. So she's like, why the hell, why the hell do I am I out of shower gel? Like, well, I'm just putting it in my hand, it's me, you know what the fuck are you talking about?

How much do you use? Because it takes like two handfuls every stroke of my body. That's why you gotta use the lufa. So I'm looking at this stupid lufa. Like this is a solution to anything. Soaking it in, and I have no idea idea like how are you supposed to clean your ears? You're not it's gross. It's just a gr... like if you really like you can use a wash cloth and you can wash the wash cloth

You know what I mean? You don't wash it. You can't clean properly with it. Do you wash the wash cloth every time? You should. You should. Just you soap. We had a great system for this. Women, get a bar of soap. If you got a guy coming over, I know the sexes don't know how to treat each other anymore. Like I know we're aliens to each other now, and like guys are farting on women, and women are not understanding that guys need to be lured in, they're like pursuing them aggressively.

But this is just a simple dick tip for the women out there. Get a bar of soap. Get a bar of Irish spring. Put it under the counter. That's funny. Of course it's what you use. You're a man. That's all I want to use.

And then when the guy uses it, throw it in the garbage. Get some, because you don't want another guy to come in and see another man's pubes on that soap. That's what you know. You don't want to get the travel size. Just get a travel size or get a regular bar and cut it in half. Whatever you have to do, put a new bar in there.

I'll spend the $2. I'll make that investment. Like at a hotel, just, you know, give me something to wash my body with. That isn't a weird alien sponge. That's all I'm saying. That's all I want. Did you have like a really bad Lufa related incident? They're all bad incidents.

Every Lufa incident that you have is a bad incident. Yeah, I guess that's true. Yeah, all right, all right. Let me get to an update from last week. Last week we had Denzelin, the reigning champ. So Lunora, before I introduce you, let me tell you what we do on the show. I've got a rotating selection of co-hosts, all auditioning to be the next co-host on

the DICK show. And I want to find out who is a rage of all of them, who is the biggest rage, because that's what I think people want to hear on this show. He says, much rage packed into an hour, sometimes an hour and a half. I'm sorry about that, Sean, as possible. Did it like battle royale against each other? It's Max K. It's anything goes battle royale. Denzel Wolx came in last week.

He's up there. He's up there at an eight. He's a returning champ. He's so he stayed at an eight. He stayed above an eight. Oh good. Yeah. Great guy. Next, next under him, very close race, very tight race,

between Joe Star and Robin Higgins. No shit, they're both, they're like, they're neck and neck. Wow. Seven point two or seven point three or something like that, neck and neck. And then we got Mr. Velvet. Tim Chang is gonna come in. I settled some beef with him. Oh, you did.

Yeah, he's gonna come in, and into the month, I think. I think before Burning Man, I'm gonna try to get him in. My man's also gonna call in. He's got some news, but LaNora, let's get to you. Yeah, go for it. You are, you are easily the most interesting woman I know. Oh, well, thank you. You are like the most interesting woman I know. Oh, well, thank you.

You are like the Doseki sky. The most interesting man in the world except a woman. That's so weird. I used to date someone who said that exactly. That's really funny. Yeah. You were the next El Vira. I've always said.

I may have heard that. Yeah. For this is this is radio. I'm just going to describe that you are you are a beautiful Valopsewis Swoom, how would you say that's fair? I mean that's complimentary. That's nice. Yes. Yes. Yes We're complimenting on this face. Okay. Remember when It starts to self-destruct that's when you eat you eat That's a formula

The first drink. Yes. You, this is what I mean by the most interesting woman in the world. You had your birthday party last year at a puppet house, downtown, and there was an honest to God monkey there who was a friend of yours. Yeah, I've been friends for 12 years. I taught her how to talk and wear lipstick and dance for dollars.

Oh, that's too weird. Side hop. How true is that? How to put your lipstick and dancing for dollars? I can show you the video. How do you teach a monkey lipstick and dance for dollars. But that's just a weird side hobby. How true is that? Wearing lipstick and dancing for dollars. I can show you the video. How do you teach a monkey how to dance for dollars? You know what, we've just been friends for 12 years I met her because I went to a bachelor party

where I was the only girl invited on my friends or guys and they just felt weird getting a stripper. I'm like, I really don't care. And they're like, what's better than the stripper? A monkey, great. So the monkey was there the monkey I really hit it off and I just told her owner I was like, look, we're friends now, get used to, great. So the monkey was there, the monkey I really hit it off. I just told her, oh no, I was like, look, we're friends now, get used to me.

So for 12 years, I call it Mo monkey, Mo problems. Cause she'll like, come over to my house. She likes to eat cheetos and leave like handprints everywhere. And she just mimics me. Is this a chimpanzee? It's a corpuchin. Oh, oh, I can show you. I'm like, no.

Like the monkey on friends. Exactly. Yeah, she's delightful. So there's a weird dynamic with strippers and women though. I mean, anytime I've gone, they've like, it's. Yeah, yeah. She's delightful. So there's a weird dynamic with strippers and women though. I mean anytime I've gone they've like it's it's well yeah I mean I I have a where you've gone where do a strip club. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not I don't I don't like that move. Like when I go to a strip club I'm going there to do bad things. Sure. I don't want a woman seeing how I behave when I have that much power. Right. Like when I have a $20 bill and that actually means something,

I don't want any women to see that, or you can say. No, and the strippers usually really pay attention to the women too. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. I've been like roped into things, or like, I'm not on display here. So it's like, yeah, it feels like when you go in a woman, especially a busty woman, it's sort of like, oh, cool.

Yeah, and then I'm like, you know, I think it's all crazy. Did they take liberties with you? Totally. Totally. 100%. Yeah. Like, what are they? What's your biggest rage at a strip club?

Well, I thought a rage, but like I was casting a show for Channing Tatum out in New Orleans and it didn't get picked up, but I was literally casting every like going through every strip club in New Orleans having like booty clop Shopping strippers over my head with a piece of the out of me scars like the whole thing So I was like in a strip club every night. I see listers. Yeah, right? Sunday afternoon. Total Christmas morning. Which is right. So I was there and it was just yeah, I just they just like saw me and like would pull me up on stage with that You know what I mean? It's like it's like I I came here for to actually I came here for business ladies

Yeah, I'm totally yeah, exactly. Yeah, totally, yeah, exactly. Not for fun. Yeah, totally. Okay, you also, correct me if I'm wrong, you are the curator for the largest collection of golden girls pornography in the world. Yeah, that's true. A couple of years ago, I bought this beautiful

and new-doil portrait of Be Arthur. I was very inspired by, put her over my bed, and the guy was dating a time, was like, I can't do this here with you. That would be impossible. Yeah, and I was like, well, if you can't get down with me, you can't get a time, was like, I can't do this here with you. That would be impossible. Yeah, and I was like, well, if you can't get down with me, you can't get down with me, like, get out, right? So it really inspired me, and I ended up getting four yards.

Can he face away? Yeah, I was like, done with him. I was just like, get out, I'm over you. So I got 40 artists to sort of on the theme of Golden Girls Gone Wild, you know, everything from like Golden Shower Girls, like, you name it. So, yeah, so I had 45. Oh, that's awful. Yeah, it was fun. What was the Golden Shower Girls? like you name it. So, yes, we had 45 pictures. Oh, that's awful.

Yeah, it was fun. What was the Golden Shower Girls? Well, I really think it is. It was all of them. They're all pissing on a dude. Oh, it's great. But yes, like TMZ came and I said, yes, so I've created a lot of art shows.

That's, I've done that too. Yeah, fun ones. Okay. And you're also doing work for, do you wanna talk about your stalking initiatives? Yeah, I do. Because this is the most interesting. This is, I mean, every time I meet up with you, every time I talk to you, you're doing

something that's a level more interesting than the last time I talked to you. Like, it was the puppet show, the monkey, the golden dress. And now it's actually literally changing the law in California to help people who are victims of stalking. I'm going to give my brief overview of how stalking works. Basically, you can do it all the time and they can't do shit to stop you. More or less. Yeah. I mean, as long as you're not beating the hell out of someone, yeah, because it's considered

preemptive, right? That's a 100% correct. I mean, even if you can get a shocking conviction, which is really hard because typically, it's he said she said, which is difficult there. It's only a misdemeanor, so they don't actually do anything until you actually have killed, actually have physically harmed, actually have raped. But in which case, it's too late.

Correct. So yeah. And everybody knows it. Like, we're in this society where we've built a system that has to be so precious and careful with people that we can no longer collectively use good judgment. Like you've told me some of the stories,

totally agree, of your stalker. And I would say, yeah, either I would like to take that guy behind the tool shed and whip him with a rubber hose or somebody, like enough men like me who use gun emojis would like to do this. This is a service that we provide because we see ourselves as meat and gristle to be fed into the giant machine that is justice.

Like, that's, and I'll, yeah, I'll go beat that guy's ass in two seconds, but we're not rewarded for it anymore. This isn't the Wild West. This is a society with gummy vitamins and adult coloring books and things that's built for people under 13. So violence, my kind of violent, our kind of collective violence no longer solves your problem. And I don't know how far that goes, but I'll give you an analogy. Okay. I grew up watching a lot of hockey. I played two, I was at Weird Southern California kid who actually played ice hockey.

And in the pros, they don't wear full cages on their face to protect all their face. They might wear a half shield. You mean all the players? Yeah, the players. I mean, you know, a gold tender's obviously wear masks. But it's a, it's a league that kind of polices itself because if you get those sticks up and be irresponsible with your stick and it does happen, you'll probably get, you'll probably get retaliated on for that. Now in college, they wear full cages and they have no respect for the high stick at all,

because it's, you mean they just throw it all the time? They throw it all the time because there's no repercussions for it. So it's almost like, if the same thing's true in rugby and football. Yeah, do you know what I mean, though? Yeah, because you can regulate a little more, you're less apt to do it. So it's almost like, if the same thing's true in rugby and football, do you know what I mean? Yeah, because you can regulate a little more. You're less apt to do it. Yeah. Based on the consequences that will happen to you. My brother lies, he's, he played football for a long time. Like I wish Fred Flintstone. He's just this huge guy. So I'm always asking him, you know, why, like what can we do? What could they do in football to make it a little

safer? He said, take the padding out because they get in these suits of armor and they know they know they can't be hurt. They know you can't really be hurt like immediately. So they just go as hard as possible. So he said, yeah, less padding would make you, anyway, for the stalking. Like, it is of all the things that happen on the lifetime network.

Their depiction of stocking is totally right. No, because usually they have a Dean Kane hot dude who's doing it that's always like, you know, a little something for the ladies as far as the lifetime version. My version is nothing at all like that. Just to sort of give up. What is your version like? Yeah, I'm very happy.

If you want to talk about it, I mean. I'm happy to talk about it. So, so right, so now I work as a reality TV producer and a casting director, but prior to that, I had galleries. So in 2011, I was one of the LA Weekly People of the Year. They had like a nice photo of me with the monkey, whatever. So, I'm been a slave. You were a person of the year?

Always the monkey. Yeah, it was one of the people of the year. How do you get that? Why? How do you get, how do I get that? I'm going to ask you a better question. I mean, I can introduce you to some writers, but like you just have to just do enough pry pro. Listen, you walk around with a monkey and you do enough weird shit and people like you.

I don't know. That's how it worked for me, but I'm sure I'm sure there's a couple of weirdos, not far from where we are walking around with the guanas on their shoulders and riding around at hoverboards. Those motherfuckers are never getting people of the year. True. I mean, I'm not even giving myself enough credit. It was for a lot of the other work that I did.

But anyway, so they gave it to me. So unbeknownst to me, there was a schizophrenic guy who had his name legally changed a cloud star chaser out in New York who was stalking Ivanka Trump. It was highly publicized. Yeah. But I'm in LA, like live in my life, so I don't know what's going on. So he was arrested multiple times for stalking her, harassing her, it was very public.

And like I said, I'm here in LA, I don't know what's happening. So he jumps bail in New York, he comes to LA, he opens up the LA weekly, sees me, becomes fixated, he comes to my gallery wearing a goddamn space suit. I can't even get a normal stalker, I get a schizophrenic and a space suit. So he comes up to me and I'm a very high tolerance for weird shit.

Well, you like weird shit. I do. So I thought it was kind of funny at first. Yeah. And he looks me in the eye and he's like, oh, you look like Jessica Rabbit and Lee Lou from the fifth element. And I was, and I'm gonna stalk you.

That's a good description. That's what he said. So he's like, I want to stalk you. So I thought it was like weird but I was like, whatever, get out. I didn't pay attention to it. The next day he was on the news and all my friends were like, oh my god, that guy that said he was going to stalk you, because the Trumps have hired bounty hunters to

actually died him back to New York to stand trial. So they're like, that guy, he's an actual stalker. And so I was like, oh, whatever. So then he gets extra-died. He goes. Wait a minute, wait a minute. So Donald Trump hired bounty hunters to track down your stalker because he was also stalking Ivanka first.

Ivanka first. So you are one. Your stalker has met Ivanka. Yeah, he stalks her. Okay, so that makes me how many degrees of separation away from Trump. I mean, me to you, you to stalker, stalker to Ivanka. Ivanka, that's what was it for? Four degrees of said, wow.

Well, I'll get into the Trump thing. And it was for you, but good news for me. to Ivanka, Ivanka, that's for four degrees of said, wow. Well, I'll get into the Trump thing. And it was for you, but good news for me. It was like this. It made Trump like this stuff. Right, close. Yeah, so he gets extra-rated. He goes to Rikers, or sending the letters from jail,

that in the corner say like jail mail for a couple of years. And it was just like weird and pay attention to it. Then it starts escalating to very, very graphic rape and death threats. And what's unique about my case is usually like with stalking, there's like this, he said, she said, she said, I'll make the mind makes YouTube videos,

he tweets about stalking me, he believes I have special powers and he has to kidnap me so you can harness my special powers so you can fight ISIS. So he's like tweeting this. So he sent my former boss a death threat. What kind of special power, sorry, you're getting it. Oh, okay, well, he wrote this really long, like rape fantasy about me called Lord of the Racks,

which the rack of power, it's very Lord of the Rings inspired, where I'm raped by hobbits. And like after I'm raped, like Harnessed is my weird power. Anyway, he thinks I have mind control and that I use it on him sometimes. Remember, he gets a frenic. So the brain is going to tell. Right, isn't that what big boobs are? Well, that's exactly what he said. Like they are the mind control. You're exactly you. He gets a friend. Isn't that what big boobs are? Well, that's exactly what he said. They are the mind control.

You're exactly you. He gets a friend. You get him. Am I? Yeah. So he thinks I use my big boobs. He also calls it gay magic. And so he says that my big boobs make him do things that he doesn't, like he wouldn't

normally do, but they're just their existence. I have control over him and everybody else, you've all been warned. I mean, they do and everybody else, you've all been warned. I mean, me do think everybody, too. But then he also says I use gay magic because you're making him gay. I can make people, well, not him, but I made Rob. But the guy he blows, you make him gay. Yeah, I can make, because I've got a lot of friends who are gay, so if I'm not, so basically, I have power over straight men because I have my boobs, and if you're not, that I can just

make you gay. Because you have a gay, coven of gay witches. Yeah. So I just go like, woo, you're not that, that I could just make you gay. Because you have like a gay, coven of gay, gay witches. So I just go like, woo, yeah. So that's like part of it. Anyway, so then it escalated to very graphic death and rape threats. And like I work really hard.

I'm pitching TV shows. Like I'm doing all this stuff. And so when I go to my meetings at like CAA or whatever, people are googling me. Now they're googling these long graphic rapes. And it's like, it's a Ponsley fighting. So I went to the LAPD thinking I had like the slam dunk case. Because he's schizophrenic, long criminal history,

convictions for stalking. And this is what trail guys do. You're supposed to pick up bad guys and throw them into jail, right? Like if this happened to your wife, your girlfriend, your sister, your mother, or even a Sean, Sean's got a lot of fans on the internet because it was beautiful. How beautiful is this guy?

It's got great skin. Like a nine to 10. Easily a nine and a half. I've never gotten that before. Yeah, I've got my skin. But if it happens, you're like pasty. I do, I do, it's nice. Is it possible that?

Can you do that? Yeah, on the show. If it happens any of these women, you know, you think, oh, this is where you just go to the cops. And then they- You think that, we're taught that. But so I went with all this evidence, expecting them to give a shit.

And they were like, that's nice. We're gonna zerox copy it, like see later. And I was, and then they were really dismissive of me. How makes me so angry? You're right. You're worrying about it. It makes me so angry. You think you're worried?

I'm writing, I mean, they did everything. It discredited me while I was there. I mean, I understand, like, maybe how I look, whatever, they were not particularly nice to me. So I was like, fuck this. I don't want to talk. They did everything to discredit you because of the way you look saying, like, you're asking to get stopped somehow.

I would say that happened. Yes, the first time I've had, since then, I've had officers that were really great, but the first one that I went into, absolutely, they're like, well, you know, because they didn't actually give me any helpful, you know, they didn didn't say like, do you know how to track an IP? They didn't do any of that. They didn't say, well, they probably don't know that. Well, right, but they should. I'll get into that later.

They didn't actually give me any useful information to protect myself. They just sort of basically said, well, if you tone down your look, maybe that'll, and like hook you. That's not protecting itself. That's not serving me. That's not serving me.

I want to be upping this look. Right, I want more women to dress like this, you motherfucker. Right, exactly. What are these guys doing? Yeah, I was like, I even said I was like, Mendo mini skirt defense here, like the way that I dressed does not mean that I get to be victimized. Like, let's not be more sharia compliant in LA.

No, it means you might get to be stared at. Yeah, that's fine. I don't really care about that. I mean, if I really, like, whatever, that's fine. That's something else. So I got angry and I was like, well, you guys don't understand who I know and what I'm going to do, like, see you later.

So then- I bet the cops never heard that before. Nobody had any idea. No, I really meant it. I really meant it. Within a couple of weeks, I was on the show Crime Watch Daily for over a million people, which team me up with the DA.

And a long story short, now that I had a better understanding, the problem with stocking, so many problems, like first thing is when you get into law enforcement, they're not adequately trained. Now I'm with a unit called the TMU, which is threat management unit, which they give to,

it's like an elite stocking unit for celebrities. I only got that because I went on TV. That's really bad. Wait, celebrities get a better stocking unit than everybody else. Celebrities who can afford their own security, which is not me by the way, they actually have a specialized unit to help them.

What the fuck? Right, exactly. Because I mean, it's a high profile case so they just handle it differently. Oh, that is such bullshit. Right, and I'm like regular people over here, right? So that's the first thing. For regular people need it.

That's right, thank you. Yeah, no, I had a meeting with chief Charlie Beck and I talked about all of this. I've had a lot of issues. It's like Twitter. They only defend celebrities. Like they don't do anything if you're not a celebrity but they'll bend over backwards

to make you happy of your celebrity. Just a random side thing. Ever since I got verified on Twitter, you guys will appreciate this. I'm getting so many DMs from pro sports guys. I don't know why because I think there's like a list of people who are verified.

I think they just go through it and they started hitting me up. Like literally the day I got verified. Like what kind of sports guys? I don't, I got. Like what sport sport? Michael Schumacher? One guy from basketball and one guy from hockey.

Really? Yeah. Like I don't even know sports and I knew one of their names. Patrick Wah? No, that is. Patrick Waw. No, but anyway.

That's Kurt Rambus. No, that's right. Kurt Rambus from basketball. Are you just naming people now? Does anyone else know? Yeah, I know. But back to the thing, so. Two more ones to know, but.

Yao Ming. Maybe not, okay. He seems like a horn dog. No. No. But yeah, so the problem with stocking is, well, there's multiple problems. So as far as me, and like getting restraining order, anybody who's going to issue one,

but the difficulty with mine is my guy is technically homeless, even though he's from a very wealthy family who funds him. So he just bounces all over the country. So he's the most disgusting man on earth. Yes. There is nothing more disgusting than a privileged trust-fund man who's making your life miserable. Ivanka Trump's life miserable. She's got to sell her father to American women.

She doesn't have time to deal with your stock. That's right. You know what I'm saying? And he's got just loads of cash contributing nothing to society, but making beautiful women afraid. Well, doesn't sound like he takes his meds either. No, he doesn't. That's a whole other thing.

That's a whole other thing. So, it doesn't sound like he takes his meds either. No, he doesn't. I mean, that's that's a whole other thing. Yeah. That's a whole other thing. So, so yes, on one level, we have the how you know, how we don't take care of people with psychiatric issues. My dad was like, I addressed some very sensitive to this issue. If he was actually medicated and looked after, none of this would be happening, but that's not the case. So, okay, so then we have the issue with the restraining order. It was very difficult. It took me years to finally get it served because if you don't have an actual address, you can't serve somebody. So the only way that I got mine served was he went to another victim in San Francisco, went to her workplace and said, I'm Superman and I'm here to rape,

I'm not gonna say her name. And then the police came. I have a 1030 appointment. He was, yeah, he was detained and not arrested. That's an important fact. And when the police looked him up, they saw my pending restraining order, handed it to him then, okay. So they know that he's doing this stuff to me. He

threatened to rape the soulman and then they said, you're free to go young man. Carry on. So I was finally served, but it was only the first one was only a two week temporary one. Right. And then immediately within three hours, he faced a message to me and I sort of got to pull it up and show you. He said, I know you must have been kidnapped by the LAPD. That's the only reason why you would get me a restraining order because we're in love. And don't worry, I'm going to chop off and eat their dicks. First thing is that, so I had to submit that to the LAPD. So the first thing that I'm calling for is the ability to serve restraining order via email

because we have the ability, everyone's signed an e-document, right? They all businesses built on email. Every single fucking document you send in the world, the idea that you have to serve somebody with physical papers is like autism, it's like a legal autism to the millionth degree. Correct, so you can get a foreclosure notice over email, there's all these legally binding things.

So why can't I get something that can protect me? That's who you are. Protect me, right? So that's the second thing that I'm trying to create is a national stalker Registry, which is kind of similar to the Sex Offender Registry because part of the problem is states don't work together. The Sex Offender Registry is problematic because people who shouldn't be on it get on

it. That's right. That's a big problem. Right. But stocking is different because those crimes are so hard to prosecute that if you have one conviction let alone multiple, you did it in your terrible. Is that true? Oh, yeah.

It's so hard to get a conviction and it's for stocking. Sex stuff, it's really easy. There's all the weird gray areas, not with stocking. It's so hard to prosecute. So if you have them, let alone multiple, you are fucked up. You are really a problem. You need to be checking out what society. I get so nervous when I hear that there's some kind

of a registry going on because I know they're gonna abuse it. I know that the second, the second set of things that you would be on it. Well, yeah, I'm Sean, I'm number one. Are you kidding me? I'm sending gun emojis all day. I'll be that, I'll be on that in two seconds.

But I didn't get you any, that's what I'm saying. What I'm saying is he doesn't even do anything for his crimes yet towards me and I'm getting daily rape and death threats. So don't worry, people, it's not that easy to get these convictions. You've really stalked the shit out of somebody to get these convictions. Right.

And so I feel like, I mean, obviously if someone's mentally ill, it's not because like my guy, he sort of like talks like a Batman supervillain, like he says stuff like, no jail can hold me. So he's not afraid of jail because he thinks he has special powers anyway. So that doesn't work for him. But for most normal people who just, for whatever reason, are talking someone, the fear of their workplace knowing or their neighbors knowing is enough to hopefully deter them, right? So we have, like, why are we, instead of thinking like, oh, how can we protect these people

that are victimizing you? Why don't we actually, like, look after the victims and offer them something? And then the third series of things that I'm working on are specifically cyber- Well, he's not even trying. Like, can't we go back to a society where we all, we all are working kind of in the same way. It'd be nice. You know, like we're all, we all want hot women

to be flaunting it. That's what we all want. We all want everybody to have a chance at being productive. And maybe to be working toward it, but we got a guy go in the opposite direction. Can we get a hook in that guy and bring him down? Well, if you want to talk about getting more when it'd be comfortable and be themselves,

we could also address the victim blaming that I get, you know, from the various things that I'm in. I'm constantly be told because I have large breasts that I deserve this and I should cover up. And I mean, my boobs are real, not that it's anyone's business, but they are. Well, but we want to know. But they are, but like it just made me want to get giant wheelbarrow-sized, fake implants and just wheel them around and be like, fuck you guys.

I should be able to do whatever I want and not have somebody threaten to rape and kill me. Like, at this point, I'm like, no, I want to get you. My boobs are already too big, but I just want giant ones to wheel them around and just fucking deal with it. You know, like, you should be able to walk around and paste these and yes, look at me, find, take a picture, scream at me even, I don't care, but that doesn't mean that you should say that you're going to kill me, rape me. Yeah, so what's honestly, what's the solution with this guy? Oh, okay. Like what do we just throw him away forever? I mean, he needs, he needs to be committed. His family instead of dropping him off in Hawaii, because that's what his father didn't drop him in Hawaii, thinking like, oh, that will just get him like took, no, put him in an institution

where he's medicated. And that's what you need to do with him. Okay. You know, it's pricey. What's prison might be cheaper? Really? I don't think so. No.

I think prison is really expensive, actually. Well, it doesn't sound like the parents are taking any responsibility either. It's like the Catholic church just shuffling priests around. Yeah. Yeah, it does. Not to mention, so it's like, Catholic church just shuffling priests around. Yeah, yeah, it does. Not to mention, so it's like, okay, so I've been saying this. If you start to read through all this stuff, you sent me over the years. Everybody is really quick to compare him to, they compare him to Adam Lanzah. You know, he's, he's, he's got a shot at all.

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, they also compare him to the Santa, because remember, he's like, And the mom was shitty. Yeah, she didn't do shit But like also they compare him to the Santa Barbara shooter because he's this entitled one percenter who believes He's entitled to date of uncle He's entitled to date me and then he's pissed off It we don't want to date him like we owe him like I'm sorry. I'm not getting laid Dude that's not my problem and and just like with the Santa Barbara shooter who is just this total massage

And I'm sorry the sorority chicks didn't want you. You don't go to get to shoot everybody up. Like if you read through it, he's especially, it's targeted to busty women. He also, there's like a lot of porn stars and stuff here, harasses. But your stalker would be. My stalker, I don't wanna say their names,

but I've been in contact with several, like all the kind of girls that would be on score, like pretty much all those chicks. Like yeah. Well, such a huge problem with stalking is that nothing gets done until it's too late. It seems like, because it's like you said it's the he said, she said, like what your case is different because you have such a paper trail. It's like, this guy is not well.

No, and the thing is, exactly, what the laws is that they're reactionary not preventative, which is really useless. And like, here I am, and I'm lucky that I've started working with the really amazing congressman and other politicians that people are taking me seriously. And I'm doing the largest, I'm not going to, I'm not allowed to say the name of the share right now, but it's the largest show about crime on a major network. So people are taking me very seriously, and I'm working both at the state level and hopefully at a national level.

But yeah, I don't want to law after I'm dead. That's how things work now. You know what I mean? You have to, like, there's no reason for that. They're just, you know, especially the way that cyber crimes are handled. It's like, yes, it's not the Wild West anymore, but the internet kind of is,

like legislation and technology aren't on the same page. We would just kind of do whatever they want. Well, because you got a bunch of baby boomers and maturers and baby boomer pluses who just don't understand, who want to continue pretending that they can never understand the internet. Right. That's true.

They have this resentment in them, I think, that entire generation. And you can tell. That generation turned out really shitty. The baby boomer just so fucking selfish. They want their intention and desires to mean everything. And they just don't mean shit. Like they want the internet to just comply with their Norman Rockwell version of the world

that they relive every single holiday they've ever had and force us to do it. Like they've sucked, they've sucked all the life out of the millennials into their own bodies like vampires. Like they've sucked every ounce of culture out of them just to prolong their fixation on nostalgia. This like they they rejected at their core. They reject learning about how the internet works, how computers work, like what the future of law and society will exist, like, when these things meet. And it's so evident when, like, I'll go back to the Hillary Clinton thing, when she goes, like,

wipe, like, with a cloth, it's like, no, you fucking idiot. Like, with a thing that we're referring to, like, with a thing, don't treat us, don't treat everybody like an idiot. Like this is your job to learn what it is. And there's a shitload of judges all the way up to the Supreme Court that are exactly the same way. They just don't, they don't bother to learn what any of it means.

And they could have from the very day it came out, but they just resented. It makes sense. And so like it docks, you know, it's going to take something like that, which will happen eventually to especially like judges and stuff like that. They will be docksing with them. Oh, that's the future. That's the future. That's the future. And that's when these things will finally, you know, move forward.

But yeah, it's pretty, it's, I'm as angry as you are, you know, it's. You got to fix this. Number one for all the people getting stalked. But number two, so we don't have any more of those lifetime movies about getting stalked. Dean Kane is a good guy. He's got to be back into good roles. Okay, we got a little heavy there. Let's get fun now.

Okay. Lenora. Yes. By the way, do you know how, do you remember how we met? I think he wrote me an email. Yes, that's called hitting on. Oh. On, could be called stalking. Yeah, on my space.

I saw you on my space and I was like, oh boy, let's see. Okay. Let's see what this girl's all about. Hello, hello, hello. And then we were talking for, we hit that, it hit that, the conversation hit that point where it's become too interesting. Oh yeah.

I'm like, wait a minute, this is a real conversation. I don't know how to handle this. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I'm gonna handle weird flirting conversations. Like what do you mean you think that's your problem? No, that's my problem, I realize that's, yeah. So like I realize every time that I get hit on on the internet, guys will do that.

And like, I'm just like, I'm single right now. And then I'll actually, you know, say, like, they'll be like, what are you doing? I'll be like, well, today I met with a congressman, then I met with a DA, and then they're like, out. I was gonna say, sorry, I was gonna say the same thing that you can't get as far as you've gotten, and gotten as many different people to take you seriously without having your shit together

You may look a certain way, but I noticed that we were talking about meeting with congressmen and District representatives and things like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, you've got to have some kind of you know shit together Yeah, to do that so overwhelming for guys And then I remember I saw you at a bar a couple years later and I and I was like, hey, hey, who's, how you doing? And the same thing happens, like, wait a minute. I know, I know you, we've talked, I remember this feeling before, I was usually talking online, anyway.

That's funny. Let's get to your, let's get to your, your rage. What makes you a rage? Okay, so, well, there's the low level things which I'll just gently touch on, which are group texts and waiting in line for food. That's very low level. I refuse to do that.

I will not. You refuse to do one. Wait in line for food. I don't give a shit what the cool donut is. You get a picture of Instagram. I'm not waiting in line for food ever. Do not care. Okay.

On the high level. What's the last thing that you would have had to wait in line for? I don't wait in line. I've never had to wait in line for food. That's why I'm at... No, I was like, I won't. I always have friends who are like, oh, let's go to pinks or whatever the new,

it's always like a dark night or whatever. I'm like, fuck, I don't care. And like they really do and it's like, it just sucks. Well, I don't even want to wait in line for like brunch anymore. Just get me, just go through McDonald's. I don't care, look at my day. I just want to sit in line for like brunch anymore. Just give me, just go through McDonald's. I don't care, look at my day. I just want to sit in my air condition to space pod. Right.

Eating, feeding the food right into my mouth. I don't even want to touch it. Just give me a hook up, a bottle of slurry on the window like a hamster. Just so I can nurse on it as I'm driving around looking for Pokemon's. There you go. That's all I want. There you go. But no, but on a higher level, I'm also around looking for Pokemon's. That's all I want. There you go.

But no, but on a higher level, and we're so talking about this, is it's in the workplace, and I'll just say men, because I haven't had it happen from a woman, but it certainly could, who just know exactly what the line is with sexual harassment.

That's just like just before it, so they can't actually get in trouble, but like they just push the boundary just enough, and they keep doing it, and you're just saying like, I know what you're doing. And like, you don't have to say women. You know what? We don't have to say on this show that women could do this because they fucking don't.

I say I had it. I mean, this is a man, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a limp, a offensive in the same way to the same degree is not true. Women do other things that are just as bad like once you get in there, once you get in there and they know that they

got their claws in you, that's where their version of abusive crazy comes out. That's when they start texting their ex-boyfriends and sending you screenshots because you told them they looked like January Jones and they got pissed off about that. That happened to me. But guys are up front crazy. Guys with front load the crazy. And then the nutty miss. Girls are crazy on the way out.

That's why my favorite things to read from beautiful girls are the texts they get from guys trying to try and put a foot in the door, right? It's not funny with girls because girls aren't sending us those texts. Like Sean, even you as a beautiful man are not getting crazy, weird, flirty texts from girls. No. No, but every girl out there all day, all day long.

Like there's not the same. We can admit on this show that the genders are very different. Yeah. And I don't think work plays sexual harass. Like if a woman comes up to me at work and says, hey, what's going, does that belt go all the way around? I'm going in, you see? Give me a give to show. Because I don't feel victimized.

Right. You know, like I'm a man. I don't care. It's like she touches my dick. I'm like, oh, well, that dick's been touched a lot. I touch it a couple times every day. I don't care. I don't wanna down-plant guys

who actually feel sexually harassed, but come on. Let's all, let's get on board. Yeah. For an example, in front of a bunch of co-workers, someone said, oh, I saw a girl that looked just like you on Tinder and I swiped on her. So that's the polite way of saying, I would talk. Right, and I was like,

and I was so awkward for me that all I could say was, oh cool, if you date, I'd like to hire her as a decoy because I'd always would like to have a friend that looks like me that I could have sent. Like, I don't know what to say. It's like, you just literally just told a room of people that you would like have sex with me. That's what you just said,

but you didn't actually say the other thing. You applied it. Do you know what I mean? By proxy, so. Right. Is that of people? Yeah, in front of people. It was like, and it was a weird power dynamic thing. It's like, you've just done this.

I now feel awkward. You've now like, do you see what I'm saying? It's like this. Why are you talking about dating it? Where is that the line? Is that the line similar? Well, that's what I'm saying. It's an example of like where it's like, it's not actually,

like, harassment would be like, hey, I want to fuck you. That's too much. But saying something that's some point and the same. That's what I was saying. It's an example of where it's like, it's not actually harassment. It'd be like, hey, I want to fuck you. That's too much. But saying something that's employing the same thing. That's what I'm saying. It's people who are smart now. I want to fuck someone who looks exactly like you. That's exactly right, right? And you're just like, I know what you're saying, but you didn't say the actual thing that

gets you in trouble. You said the thing that doesn't get you in trouble, implying the other thing. I'm smart enough to know what you're doing. And now you've walked out of the room making it awkward for me, making a whole thing. That's what I'm saying. How much is just a guy being a dumb shit, though? I think it's very calculated. I don't think that's just like, dude, retardation.

Because I've had it happen so many times where they just say the thing that's just like where you're like, all right, I'm not going to say anything to anyone, but boy, that wasn't really appropriate. Like they become super geniuses just dealing with that concept. Yeah, right. Dumb as shit, everyone. Dumb as shit everywhere else. Pretty much.

It's like, how far can I push it? You know? Because they look right at you when they do it. Like, I know what I'm doing. And like gesturing. I mean, they don't actually do it. They just kind of smile along. You're just like, cool.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, that doesn't happen to anybody else here. No. No. What else do they do? I'm trying to think of other examples. Yeah, just like accidental touching and shit like that, you know, where it's like... That's real? Yes,

it's real. Yeah, I haven't been accidentally touched ever. Yeah. Yeah, just like weird stuff like that. Some guy accidentally touched me at a concert two nights ago, and he turned around and gave me one of those like, from what is that movie where the invasion of the body snatches to give me one of those screams like, oh my god, I touched a man. We both got to go home and Lou far ourselves with some iron wall. What does that stuff cost? The wall, right. What else makes you a rage?

You know what? You know what? The more I think about it, I hate to say it, but it's all like men and dating now. It's like, I don't mean to, but I'm like, all the things that come in my mind, it's like, oh, this is horrible. Are you having problems dating?

I'm having the worst. There was some, the last date I went on, I'll just go ahead and say it cause it's funny. He was very nice, but the last date I went on was with Steve O. And he took his part, a part of his teeth out at the table. He was very nice. He was actually a real gentleman, but I was like, I'm going out with a guy who still staples his balls to his leg, and he took his teeth out at the table. This is the best date I've been on in a long time.

Well, it was the content. And he's like 40, right? I mean, yeah. What was the context of taking his teeth out? Oh, he was just to show me that he could, like, ah, like I could do a trick. I wonder if he's trapped in like this kind of hell where everyone he dates expects him to do crazy. I think so too. And he was very nice. That's the thing, he was really nice. He was a total gentleman. Like I have nothing but nice things to say about him,

but probably it's probably hard for him to date as Steve O. That would be hard. Yeah. That would be a crutch. Like someone always talking about how he's a deranged maniac. Yeah. He needs to show off. All right, let me get to, let me get to some comments from last week.

Sean, we had it, by the way, everybody on the internet spells your name differently whenever they talk about you. Oh, no, it's become a thing. Well, the thing is, I've never seen the same spelling twice. Well, I know they're really good. They're really good. Like they're using Cyrillic out, they're using squiggly lines. I don't know how they managed to do it, but every time I see it, now I know it's Sean,

even though it's spelled wildly different every time. I know somebody told me that I own a Chinese restaurant or somebody, yeah, somebody told me that somebody on lines that I own a Chinese restaurant, it was like Sichuan something. Yeah, yeah. It's pretty creative. told me that somebody on lines that I own a Chinese restaurant, it was like Szechuan something. Yeah, yeah. It's pretty creative. Dominic Paluso, who may be more beautiful than you. Yeah.

He registered, well, you know, like my family are Palusos. Oh, you guys could be cousins. It's very possible. You guys could have some sick insects that I can do. My father's mother is a Paluso. No, this guy, I think he might, he's like a younger you. He registered dick.show for the domain name for this. So the dickshow.com has a very unfortunate name because dickshow.com is hardcore gay pornography. And I didn't think it would be as you would expect. Well, you know, I didn't

think it would be a big problem when I launched this show at the last minute, but even myself knowing about the gay porn thing, I've punched it in about a billion times, like when people are just over my shoulder, like, I wonder how the last episode is doing, uh, just in my mind, dickshow.com, boom, bunch of ding dongs and ball sags hanging down over a weird like I've seen I've seen this one guy's nuts sack more times than I've seen my own at dickshow.com. It's driving me crazy. I think his gay magic might be starting to warp my brain and I'm going to start stalking I've on good track. Oh my God. So thank God Dominic Paluso has saved everyone by getting dick.show. That's a domain name, dick.show.

Cool. You just go there. Yeah. I have a funny gay porn story. You guys want to hear it? Well, it means. So I used to be an assistant editor at Frontiers, which is like the big game magazine in Los Angeles.

They always call me like the one straight girl at penetrated queer media because I was like a writer for Game Magazine and I was on serious radio gaming, dating advice and I was on QTV which predated logo. So I was like 22 years old, it was my first job writing and the editor at the time decided to haze me because they're like what's this like young straight girl wanting to work here?

So they told me which- Why is a young straight girl wanting to work there? What is it about this life that pulls you in? Honestly, it's like my taste is very similar. Like I love like the movie show girls in John Waters. Like I just sort of love camp stuff and I've always just had an affinity for gay men. Like I also think like it just,

I mean I only started to be friends with women recently. Women were always like pretty horrible to me prior to like hitting my 30s. And then with gay guys, there's always the weird sexual dynamic, whether you want it or not, with gay dudes. This is like, where does friends? Like it's just totally,

so anyway, so I started to work there at 22, and they decided to haze me. And they told me that I had to write a porn review as if I was a gay man. And now the thing is, the magazine didn't even do porn reviews, but I didn't know that. They were just messing with me,

so they gave me the gai-mi the gai-mi's porn they could find. And they thought't even do porn reviews, but I didn't know that. They were just messing with me. So they gave me the gnarliest porn they could find. And they thought that it would scare me off but I wouldn't actually do it. So I put the movie in and the first thing I see is a guy with a tattoo of a ruler up his arm and I was like, oh, that's weird. And then I learned very quickly what it was for, like for fisting and seeing a horror.

Oh my God. And you say that fisting part like it's an afterthought. I never would have guessed that. I mean, I didn't know. I was like, what's that? I was like, oh, okay, whatever. And so I'm like writing, like we're telling like I'm a gay man and I'm really interested in this.

And then it gets worse. So it goes in and then, do you guys know what pink sock is? No. It's a prolapse rack, gentlemen. Oh my God. So then, so apparently it was a fetish video for that. And then they played with it like a slinky for like 20 minutes. They played with a man's rectum for 20 minutes.

They didn't know the prolapse, which is actually the intestines that have come out. What the fuck? And it was like, yeah. This is a fetish? Yeah, it's, they call it like rose budding is what it's called now. Did you like die from that? Um, I mean, shove it back. It's like if you've had too much anal, and then it's like.

Or not enough. Right. Or then yeah, yeah, I guess you need to go hard. And so they're like, and I'm like, so I'm writing this whole thing. Like, oh, this is so hot. I'm so into it. And then I turned it in.

And they're just like, OK, you can have the job. That was my story. Just cut. I always laugh about it. Yeah. Wow. That's the most erotic story we've ever had in this podcast. I'm really learning my things there. And then I worked there for many years Yeah, it's a great, right? That's the most erotic story we've ever had in this podcast. I've never heard of it.

It's there. And then I worked there for many years, and it was a nice experience. Hey, you know what, that reminds me. Anel Pro Labs reminds me that I need your help to find a news girl for this program. Okay. One of the Patreon goals was a news babe,

a babe reads the news. Okay. And we've since smoked it. Like we've gone so far past that Patreon goal that I need, I need to fill that role, but I don't know how to. I need so many. You do? Yeah, you should look at my friend Ryan Keely.

She's amazing. She was a penthouse pet and she used to host a show on Playboy TV. And she's really funny and she's really smart and she's really cool. And she lives right by you. And she's not doing the Playboy TV and she's really funny and she's really smart and she's really cool and she lives right by you and she's not doing the Playboy TV anymore and she's just a lovely person and she's probably perfect. This is going to be the hardest conversation in my life. But if I had to talk to these beautiful women, I know some of these girls, and not try to date them, right?

So this is like, I'm- Right, Kat's off the table for you. Yes, well, yeah. Yeah, it'll be a learning experience. It will be, it'll be fun. I'll have to call, I'll find somebody who's just horrible with women and call them and like my reverse sereno de Bergera,

so what do I say now? Right, right, right, right. Try not to be charming. But you know, it's weird, like the only girls I'm friends with are like really hot girls. And it didn't, like my friend who's actually picking me up today from here, like she was a professional naked lady. I don't know why, I'm only friends with,

it's not like I can't be. What do you mean professional naked lady? They're professional naked ladies. Like just around the house? No, like she used to be in magazines and stuff. I like, she's like a model. Yeah, I mean now she does make up, but like, it's just weird, it's like, it wasn't like, I wanted this like, Russ Smire level, like, cadre of like,

big, boob girlfriends, but like, that's who's nice to me. Oh, man, if that was the ISIS propaganda, I would be on a plane right now. Russ Smire's cadre. Um, so I really appreciate that because I am absolutely terrible at it. So here's, let me bring in some more kind of for this week. I got a package this week from Derek Gouli. Let me read this one. To Dick and Sean, it has come to our attention

that you underwent a hardship involving a certain Web 1.0 E-Saleb in regards to the podcast Snackery. We here at IRC channel found this story heartbreaking and unacceptable. We have pooled our resources, made one guy pay for everything and do all the work to deploy this guilt-free snack aid flotilla directly to your recording studio to be enjoyed immediately.

Dick congrats to the huge success with the podcast and best of luck finding a co-host. Sean, we hope you have fun with all your bitch and new sound equipment as always go fuck yourselves. The Dick Chat gang from irc.frenode.net hashtag the dick show. So these guys, I think this was Derek Gulley. I sure hope it was. No, he just said I didn't send it.

Another guy from I R C sent it. Well, okay. So I take back all the nice things. I said it. I was complaining on Reddit about how Maddox used to read me the riot act for not thanking him for bringing in snacks on the last show. Were you ever privy to any of those conversations? No.

Oh, man. So I would get multiple page, single spaced criticisms of me and my behavior on the show. And among them was, you've never thanked me for bringing in snacks. He's got a bowl of bar nuts that I don't eat on the air, because I think it's unprofessional, right? Now, I feel like I'm in like a 10 year relationship, screaming about who took the trash out last night.

Like, I don't give a fuck about snacks. Don't bring in any snacks then. So these guys, these guys at R I R C the the dick chat at I R C have put us in snacks for the rest of our lives. I got a big old box of snacks. We got fruit snacks, bar nuts, peppermint, patties. Oh my God. Bar nuts. Yeah. Thanks a lot, guys. Awesome. A couple more comments from last week. Max Hydrogen, I own apology to, I said he was dropping in bombs and got banned. He said he did not. So these guys, George Sears, I think is Max Hydrogen.

I can't keep their names straight. That's the problem. Everybody online has some kind of porn star name, but they change it up every week. So I apologize for saying implying that this guy was being racially insensitive. I don't think it was Philip Brodka trans transcribed the second episode. He transcribed the first one, transcribed the second episode again. You got to get that up, ASAP. That's pretty cool of him. Comment from Bud Assassin on Reddit, when is Sativa Sean going to rage? He should get his shot at the co-host spot.

Is that ever going to happen? I don't want to force you into it. That's never going to happen. I mean, I'm a rage, but no, I don't want to be co-hosts. You don't want to, oh well, do you want to bring in something to talk about? Well, I'm sure I'll rage. It's some, you know, some topic always strikes a chord and I'll rage on it. I think I have, but not for like an extent of your reaction.

Sean directly, if you want to encourage him, I guess is Ali has an injury, the sick picture of me. Probably will take forever to love and look at that. He even got my receding hairline, right? It's pretty cool. Oh, yeah. Let's see. I got Christian Landon also.

Drew want to me on a bald eagle. It's pretty good. Look at the fucking hair. Pretty good. That's how I would look with jeans and no shirt. I think that's a good look for me. Let's see, one more. I got Brandon from Maximum Panic.

He drew a couple. This is a great one. Either stop complaining or complain funnier. That's fucking awesome. Isn't that awesome? It looks very like Soviet. Yeah, it looks really cool. He did another one that I found out later

was from Batman versus Superman. You were never a rage. You were never even a man. Huh. Pretty cool. Yeah, all right. I've got one bit here, sent in. So I was complaining about the Olympics earlier.

It's not as bad as it could be, the Olympics. It could be a lot worse. Well, no one's been killed yet. Well, what I've got today is, here's the intro that I want to, NBC's got the boring old summer Olympics, but the dick shows putting together a contest that's really worth watching. The Cuck Olympics. Oh, no. Are you familiar with this is? And I don't think I like it. You're probably thinking of the actual definition of Cuck though. Yeah, because they write me me and I don't like it. What do you mean?

Wait, you go ahead. Okay. Cucks from coast to coast compete to see who can be the doucheyest, the cringiest, the most crybabyish Cuck in America. Here's some of the events. The 100 meter gun grab. Sounds pretty exciting. Keyboard warriors line up at the blocks.

The referee pulls out his starter's pistol, which is a big sunflower that I'm sure terrorists will respect. On your marks, get set, grab that gun out of the hands of a female victim of domestic violence. Yeah, now some of us are safer. How about this event, the four man pandering relay? San Francisco feels its finest team of gameless neckbeards for the four-man pandering relay. Whoever writes the longest medium post about quote, the crimes men have committed against our sisters in humanity wins. Hashtag, yes, all women will never date these guys regardless of how much gold they win. Does that sound like a fun event?

Not really. No, I'm getting a no. Synchronized straw manning. This one's hard to describe, but imagine eight women in a swimming pool screaming about corporations, ignore the fact that the pool was paid for by corporations, the women all work for corporations and that they rely on corporations for their tampons. Just keep straw manning until everybody gets tired and goes home to their condo, their parents bought for them.

Beach volleyball. Here's a fun event. Beach volleyball for secretly jerking off to. That sounds like a pretty good. Oh, he's a audio if you listen to it. It sounds like we've ever done that. What's that? What does that make noises? Yeah, supposedly if you like turn off the,

just listen to the audio of women's volleyball, it's like, it's like, ugh, ugh, it's like, right. Oh, wow, I'm gonna try that. It's a good dick tip. Did you bring it a dick tip? I do have a good dick tip, yeah. You want to do it after the, the, the Cuc Olympics? Okay, Cucks can scream about supporting women

all they want in public, but when Beach volleyball starts, it's time to whack it. Retweet Anita Sarkeesian from nine to five, jerk it to giant Brazilian volleyballkeesian from nine to five, Jurkett to giant Brazilian volleyball asses from five to nine, go for the white gold male feminine. Wow, male feminist. Dang, Stereos is really tearing into the male feminists in this, in this coca-lympics. The Hillary supporter, Judo, folks from Portland, Oregon to Portland, Maine, compete with one

goal, Judo, the Hillary's problems into Trump. Sure, she served on the board of Walmart from 1986 to 1992, but Trump made fun of the handicap guy. Now, that's judo. And sure, Hillary voted for the war in Iraq, but Trump made fun of that handicap guy. That's judo power. Yeah.

Greco-Roman Tumblering. Does that sound like a fun event for the cut Olympics? Normal people are fine with the LGBT community because who gives a shit what you do behind closed doors? But in Greco-Roman Tumblering, if you're not posting meme after meme about how much you support your sister's roommates, ex-husband's, transsexual coworker, your Hitler,

go way too far, attack liberal heroes like Steven Colbert for not constantly praising the agendered merely for existing, delete your Tumblr five years later out of shame, nobody wins a medal because medals are problematic. Here's the last one, it's called Goodmonton. Does that do not say the word badmonton, do not say the word badmonton, not do not say the word is that bad? What are you what are you gonna say? I feel about shuttlecocks. I

Think they feel negatively about everything in the sun. It's offensive. If our children hear it They'll grow up to be sex offenders or worse Republicans say goodminton. Oh, you can see all this on the Cuckoo Olympics this summer. That's pretty cool. What were you gonna say? Oh, no, I was just like, I figured that's what it was. And that's why I was rolling my eyes. It's just the yay for everyone

participation award type of culture. Yeah, it's goodminton. You're fucking hear me rage on participation awards. Yeah, I do. What is it? I don't like them. You don't like partitions. Okay, what's your dick?

Okay, what's your thing? Oh, okay, well, first before I do the dick tip, I just want to put out there. I had this idea before I do the dick tip, I just wanna put out there, I had this idea before I came over that if you ever wanted to have me back, I was like, we should do a segment called Rage Against the Vigine where we talk about like male and female stuff,

because there's rage from both sides. We should've talked about that the whole episode. I know, it doesn't matter, don't mind. What would be, like, what is the topic that you're proposing for Rage Against the Jail? Well, I mean, that can be like anything. Like, for example, we could talk about like being hit on in the workplace or whatever. Like, there's so many things.

There's just endless like, like, to hear, I'd like to hear like the males view versus the males. Oh, yeah, I really like that segment. Do you know what I'm saying? That's what I was like anyway. But so this is my dick tip to everyone. Okay. Okay, so especially living in Los Angeles and the fact that I've been a casting director

for so many years, I hate disclosing what I do. Because you know what you go to a party, you'll go, oh, what do you do for a living? And I hate, you don't want, you, the worst thing to say in L.A. is I'm a casting director because on people immediately pitch themselves in like their stupid shit that you know, it's all about bullshit too.

It's the worst. It's the worst. So it's like being a rich, it's like being a rich person. Right. You don't want to be like, you don't want to be like, you're winning the lottery except you always, I have the day after you won the worst. It's the worst. It's like being a rich person. Right, you don't want to be the one who's winning the lottery, except you always are the day after you won the lottery. Exactly.

So my tip to the audience is what I do instead, and I thought everyone should try this themselves. When you're at a party and someone asks you what you do for a living, do not say what you do, turn it back to them and say, well, what do you think I do? Because whatever they say is so much more telling about them and their perception of you and it's really fucking fascinating.

And every time I do it, I get the same two things. People say, dominatrix or hairdresser. So then I started fucking with them and I'm like, oh yeah, actually, I do both, right? I said, I tie you up and cut your hair. That's what I said, I've told you this before, yeah. Oh, you're up, you're up. No, I say, I say, I own this long called mistresses,

where I tie you to the chair and I cut your hair. I say that to people. And they believe it. But it's really interesting to say, I say, I say, I own this long called Miss Tresses where I tie you to the chair and I cut your hair. I say that to people and they believe it. But it's really interesting to me to say, no, what do you think I do? And then they then puts them on the spot. And then they're like, oh, I think in whatever. And it's really funny. Like I guarantee you, if you do that at a party,

but people guess based off of what you look like, it's fucking hilarious. Oh, that would be fun. So my tip to people is to do that. And people ask you what you do. Just be like, what you do? I met this girl at a bar who was a, she was a development exec of something.

And she was so, she had this idea that people were always out to get to know her, to get her, to get her contacts, that we could not even date without it constantly coming up. Like every time we would see each other, she would ask about something I was writing, and then she would say, well, I mean, what are you just using me to get that through? I'm like, oh, sweetheart, you don't,

like I know how this system works. It's all a lottery, I don't care. You don't have the kind of power that you're telling me, and then she would immediately start complaining about how every guy she's everyday, it was, and she had like PTSD from it, from what you're describing. All right, I love that,

raging against the Virginia thing. Dustin, are you there? What is going on? How you doing? Doing good, doing good. Dustin, what do you got for us? All right, so I reached out to the community, I have a couple questions here for Lenora,

I guess we'll run through those quick with her. Yeah. From Reddit, this actually comes from someone named Pen Name. Yo, I've got a predicament I wouldn't mind seeing another take on. Real life scenario here is I live with my girlfriend of three plus years and it's starting to fizzle out. We are both in our mid-20s and are renting from a former colleague. If the relationship ends, I would be the one who has to move out, which is fine, but

complicates things. I see that as a small matter compared to the damage my leaving potentially does to her and her worldview. She would probably play. Wait, what? Wait a minute, what? We're just gonna do it. Like, come on, wait, wait, you're not married.

Even your husband's not in that special. Wait, wait, wait,'s still one. Okay. She would probably marry me if I asked any advice on how to tactfully approach this. What the fuck do I do? Pen, from pin name. Okay, I wasn't paying attention the first half. So, I mean, Well, they live together and he's afraid to leave him because of what she'll do.

Well, yeah, any things that like, okay, here's, here's some real talk. This guy is getting a massive ego boost from this girl. That's why they're together. It's not, this is this like, I see guys do this all the time where they're like, oh, I could never leave this girl because she's just so in love with me. But here's the reality. So you got ten dudes lined up. She could walk down the stream. She's got guys hitting her up. You get to feel like a god because you're with her. That's what you want. That's what's keeping you there. You can totally destroy your life.

Any woman can rebuild her life. You ever see a woman homeless? No, because they can rebuild their lives in an hour and a half. You give a woman 20 minutes, she's new place, new furniture, new everything, it's not a problem. It's like, it's an instinct. That's not, this is not an insult either. Yeah, when there's more resilient than he's giving us credit for. Way more, I mean, this is,

you got some dynamics in this relationship that I don't think we could get into without bringing this guy on the phone. Len mean, this is, you got some dynamics in this relationship that I don't think we could get into without bringing this guy on the phone. Lenore, what do you think? Um, I think if you're in your 20s and you're not going to marry her, if that's what she wants and then piece out, that's the polite thing to do anyway, rather than wasting her time because then she'll really resent you. And exactly what we're saying is right, women are resilient. Like, yeah, she might be upset for a minute, but all she's going to do is like. But women love being upset. Well, I don't know about that, but it's like, you figure your shit out, you're like

upsever three months and then you're fucking fine. Like really, it's three months of your life that you're upset and then it's like it never even happened for real. This is what your 20s are for. That's what your 20s are for. No, but he's ever said you wasted my 20s. They say you wasted my 30s. That's right.

Because you're supposed to learn how to respect someone in your 20s and not fuck them over in your 30s. That's right. You're supposed to, but you know, I'm with Nah. No. Okay, so next question. So that guy got shit on. Sorry. Sorry, dude.

That's all good. This comes from Mark Lamarot on Facebook. He writes, as a man currently contemplating an interfaith relationship with a Muslim girl, and perhaps marriage, I have need of guidance. After all, there is quite a few international issues associated with that faith lately, not to mention the undercurrent of religious absolutism that's even stronger with it. Mainly, what I'm trying to say is, how do I convince her that anal sex is totally halal? And not her arm.

Let me, yeah, let me, I'll throw this out first because I dated a former Muslim girl for a long time. This is my, this is my feeling on religion and beliefs and relationships. And this, go ahead. And this girl always thought it was bullshit, right? Like religion in general. Oh, yeah, she's very atheist because she lived what the harm that Islam does to women and judges.

Yeah, she did. This is gonna sound very sexist because it is. In a relationship, I think that a woman will come around to what you believe religiously. And I think it's a big responsibility to set your compass on something that is beneficial to both of you. I think there's a symbiosis there because what I have found is that I'm always pulling chicks away from believing in ghosts and like angels and screwball stuff

that I do not, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, baby. You got a man here, you don't need to be believing in ghosts and whatnot. You don't need to be putting that God, that God hole, you don't need to be filling it up with something you read in a book, you could be filling it up with me. That's my, so if you're worried about,

if you're worried about dating a girl who's, who's even extremely Muslim, just stand your ground. Don't be an asshole. You can't, you can lead a horse to water. Don't try to make the horse drink. Don't try it, you know, don't shove it down or throw it, but just be true in your beliefs. And I think women will come around. What about the parents? Because that can be a huge issue. Like if you were thinking something long-term

and possibly marriage and all that kind of stuff, because that shit'll wreck it. Fuck parents. Fuck parents. As long as she'll say, fuck parents. Yeah, sometimes they are to do. I think it's even simpler than that. I think on the dick theme,

I think if a girl is dick-netized, then you can get her to go along with a lot of things. So just be really good at sex, and she'll make it work. Everything else, it's really not that complicated. I'm serious, I know I were simplified it, but it's really not hard. You said it better than me.

Doesn't house that sound. That sounds great. Next question comes from Cat Bent. She says, men say they want to challenge, how does one play hard to get without being a manipulative shrew? I don't, I wish I knew this. Sir.

How a manipulative shrew? Is that the, is that the, is that plan B? Manipulative shrew from being, from playing hard to get. It's pretty black and white, isn't it? You know, just don't send two texts in a row, right? Like, it's real simple. It's always something real simple. If I get two questions in a row,

it's first in, first out, or last, it's last in, first out. Don't overload him with questions. Just let him sit there. Guys, we got a one track mind all the time. If we'll get around to you, but there's a lot of stuff to get through in the day. There's a lot of things to be upset about.

We can't just turn it off and turn it on. We'll get to your texts. Just stop peppering them over. Don't send so many pictures. One picture, one picture, and then wait for me to respond, it'll still be there. Don't worry, and if you can't respond fast enough, find a new guy. Is that crazy?

My advice is kind of similar. It's don't actually test the dude, a text the dude, post a hot selfie, not direct, not don't send it to him, and then let him see the other comments, and he will get back to you. Yeah. Okay.

That's it. Sounds pretty good. Last question here comes from Johnny Olson trying to get with a chick that has a boyfriend. Do I go for it while they're still together? Yes. Wait for the relationship to end on its own or bring some of my persuasion into the picture to cause it to end then hook up. Just do whatever you want.

You only got one time. You only got one to, like, oh, you know what? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck this sanctity of like relationship shit, whatever. If somebody's willing to get out of it, they're willing to get out of it. You take it. You take what's fucking yours. You take the other guy's lunch out of his fucking mouth. Welcome to this world.

You get one time around, enjoy it as much as fucking possible. What do you think, Lenore? What do you think about that kind of thievery? I mean, it's complicated for me because I try and tell myself that I live with like integrity and I try and do the right thing. But I do believe that if somebody has, one foot out the door anyway, that it's like, you can't steal anything that isn't already yours. So, you know, not the other persons. I mean, you can't steal something

that doesn't belong to somebody. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, so I mean, while I'm actually, and this is a very timely question. Is it too close to home? You're awfully fidgety. Yeah, I'm in an awkward situation right now. Who's awkward?

The other person would be. I just, I have a friend that it's like, in a questionable. And they're debating whether or not they should abandon ship? Yeah. It's always a friend. And they're debating whether or not they should abandon ship? Yeah. It's always a friend. Yeah.

So I mean, I, he's probably gonna listen to that sound. Like, I don't know what is that. I mean, I, yeah, you know, whatever. I think you should come to know. Yeah. Always do what you, look, you're gonna look back and regret the moves you didn't make. That's what I absolutely did.

I've done this both ways and I regret the times I didn't go for it only, but I'm a bad fucking guy. So I guess you gotta be good. No, but that's across the board. I think it with people in life. You know, and you can't do shit about it, but you always regret what you didn't do. And it could apply to more than women or men. Missing out feels worse. For sure. Feels worse than anything else. And that

it for a reason. Yeah. For a reason, because you're supposed to learn to go for it. Man. Yeah. At some point you are. Yeah. Dustin, what else you got, man? All right. So there's been a couple of questions specifically for you, Dick. Oh cool. This comes from Gabe Kleinart. I have a question. As a man, I take great pleasure in my innate ability to always be able to one up anyone else.

Yeah, that's what life's about. Oh, you had to go to work with a sore leg. That's too bad. I just got off working a double shift with a herniated disk in my back. So I know what you mean. Yeah. However, I have a problem. See, my wife thinks she's hot stuff because she's a certain librarian

at a certain library who happens to have a certain misogynistic book written by a certain podcaster. And she got herself mentioned on a podcast a couple times. Yeah. Meanwhile, all I've got going for me is the fact that I work my bare hands to the bone, assembling high performing trucks that drive America's economy. So my question is, what can I do to one up my wife? Wait a minute.

I don't want to get on the podcast for years, but so far, no dice. I can use a tip, Dick. What truck? What kind of truck? He doesn't say, he just says, says high performing trucks that drive America's economy. He's got to be talking about Ford then. Well, you think a brand? High perform, he's got to work on it.

The drive America's, I mean, that would be like 18 wheelers. Like most of his works on 18 wheelers. Yeah, yeah. What's the old stuff? What's the old stuff? He says he assembles them. But his real issue is here. He wants to one up his wife because of her appearance on a certain podcast.

I think he's got a sneak his book. He's got to sneak my book onto one of these trucks. As a his or her cross country. Yeah, his wife, the librarian, got men and bad in the women into what city was it? Like a Michigan or something? Yeah, in the library there. And it got checked out by a listener. So I guess he's got to hide the book in one of these high performance trucks that he's

building or slap a sticker on the inside of one somewhere. I wonder what kind of trucks he's putting together though. Is he putting together F-150? Is he putting together Fiso's over there or is he putting together Shuttle Crawlers? What's going on? Mac, Mac trucks. Well, I would assume if he, it says drives America's economy, it's probably 18 wheelers of some sort.

Yeah, I think it's like over 90% of, I think goods are shipped. I think he already got on the show though. That was the point. That was the point of the point of the contest and just I'm kind of fucking question. I'll be there. All right. What else do you got? All right. So Chris you got? All right.

So Chris Healey wants to know what was the biggest mistake you have ever made? Oh my God. That's going to take a lot. That's going to take a lot more than answer than the time we got left. The biggest mistake I ever made, man. You wanna do a, like on another show? I kinda do. Oh, I'll give you a real quick one.

The biggest, the thing I regret more than anything is not, not fucking more in high school and college. That is, and I have never met a man who doesn't agree with that. Sure. There is no no point no fucking point in having a girlfriend Before your 25 30 no point at all because they don't matter that Relations that relationship that you're having does not fucking matter for the most part Yeah, there's people who stay together for the rest of the lives they're happy, whatever.

It doesn't give a shit. I don't care. But having, playing the field as much as possible, more so than you can imagine. If anybody is under 25, listening, that is the one thing, that is, that is probably my biggest regret and will, and will even grow the older I get.

Yeah, I certainly did not take advantage of all the opportunities that presented themselves. Yeah, I mean, I pulled my fucking neck getting a blow job this weekend. Like this is, right? You have that look on your face, like how the fuck did that? Sean, this is life now at 35.

When you're a young man, you can hit constantly. You can hit all the time. You've got girls around you all the time who are there, who are there ripe for the picking. That's what being young is about. I will, that is definitely the biggest regret of my life. That's a good answer. Yeah.

Hey, you know what, I was thinking, we gotta get, I gotta get you on the board, Dustin, to see what makes you, somebody was saying, you know, reddit is unkind. Reddit has not been kind to you. I would love, I was, here's the thing that I hear from them too, is I got this email a couple times.

People are threatening to like take their Patreon donations because you got, there's all kinds of drama over Dustin. I would, I just want to say to those people, they're asking why I can't read the questions myself, but that would be like, that would be like Letterman, like introducing himself for his own show. Right? Like, hey, everybody, it's David Letterman me and then he comes out. That would be weird. But then if you got him in advance, too, you would, it's better for you to do it off the

cuff. Oh, yeah. I don't want to plan this out. Then it will sound like, first. Not very weird, but I couldn't possibly. That's the other thing. I couldn't possibly get shit together. Like the amount, the amount of not together I am in life

that we can get this much of the show done is staggering. So I just want it, because I see that dust and I see that a lot on Reddit is, well why does, why does, why does, why does it have to read the questions, why does it have to read the dictionaries, well for the same reason that J. Leno doesn't go, doesn't walk out and go, hey, everybody,

it's the tonight show with me. Jay Leno, hi, I'm Jay Leno. Like it's, it's, the dynamic is weird. First of all, but number two, I can't put this shit together. I really can't. I'm trying to get the cuke Olympics written. I'm trying to get, I'm trying to get guests in. So I really appreciate what you're doing again, but I just wanted to answer those questions.

I would love it if, I would love to get you on the board and I want to get Sean on the board. I would, I would absolutely love. I would prepare definitely for, uh, for getting on the board. I think that would be awesome. It'd be fun. All right. Let's get, let's get you on the board next week. I think because I want to see, I want to see what people act, how people vote. You know, you vote with the click, one vote, one click. People talk, everybody can talk, everybody can type and post, you can generate a lot of posts, but you can only vote once.

You know what I'm saying? No, I feel you. I think that would be a true show of what the audience thinks. I mean you're a middle America guy right here from where scranton pencil van. Scranton PA were a Joe by you know Joe by enough has to mention his his history there and god damn Hillary she comes through town here she has like all right so Hillary's grandparents are buried here in scranton so every time comes through town, she has to remind everybody that she was a coal miner's daughter. Oh, yeah.

She's coming on like a fucking mayor's life. She just completely just panders to this entire fucking region. So that's all she does. Yeah, completely 100%. No, but we don't want to hear anymore about LA problems. Let's hear some good Middle America's granteen problems. Yeah, I feel LA problems are not relatable for you know. They're short, Insular, because everybody in LA is talking about it.

It's me too. It's a weird fucking place that doesn't represent the rest of the country. Yeah. It's just, yeah, it's weird. Everybody who moves here gets infected by it. And they start thinking that LA is the entire world. That's right. And it has nothing to do with anything like outside of LA,

people do not give a fuck about the entertainment industry other than the $20 they put down to go see a matinee once a month. I was in the Midwest not that long ago. And the convenience store, I don't know, 18, 19 year old kid, like just kind of, I paid and then you struck up a conversation and I was like, you want to give me my fucking change, you weirdo? Like, and I was like, I was like, that's weird.

Like no, no, no, wait for you to act like that. Yeah, it's great to have a conversation with somebody. No, no, but it's, yeah, it's weird for me, exactly. I'm just used to, you don't have an interaction at a convenience store. No, nobody gets a fuck. This place po it's weird for me, exactly. I'm just used to, you don't have an interaction at a convenience store. No, nobody gets a fuck. This place poisons you to hate talking to people. It does. It makes you cynical.

It makes you hate us. It does. It's gotta be wiped off the face of the earth. All of LA, bring on the quake. Yeah, all right. All right. I'm wondering if that, if what you're specifically talking about

is something that is nationwide because I'll tell you what, the people in Scranton are fucking miserable. These people, they do not want to have a conversation with you. If you try to talk to them, they'll be like, where the fuck are you from? That's legit how they are here. Are you more East Coast, maybe? Sounds like an East Coast thing. Yeah.

Maybe. Yeah, I'm sitting. Anyway, all right, thanks, Dustin. Lenora, let's wrap you up. Yeah, thank you so much for coming by. Is there anything you want to plug? I mean, just if I can get these laws out there, please vote for them. The laws, the anti-stocking laws. Yeah, all the anti-stocking stuff, what you're going to hear about on a national level.

Plus, people are very hyped on it because of the cyber stuff and the Trump connection. It's just all the things. You know, I did deliver the line, which you may not agree with, but I was like, well, if Trump can't handle this guy, how does he intend to run a country? Because he can't, you know, there's something to think about. That's a good dare. Yeah, but just, you know, I don't know. I'm always doing something weird.

Watch your Twitter feed. Something's coming. Yeah. Yeah. No, I feed. Something's coming. I don't know. Yeah. No, I mean, there's no specific product. I am working on a MTV True Life right now, so watch the show, because there's some really fun stuff going to happen. Do you think you can get Trump involved in this?

I think he's talking about it as well. Yeah, I mean, we'll see. But it's going to be on TV. Oh, it's going to be on one of the biggest shows. Yeah. He's going to know. Oh, I think you should. I think you should. I think you should.

I think you should. I think you should. Are you gonna start like nice on him on Twitter? No, I intend to bait him on the show and literally deliver the line. If he cannot handle this one person and make him stop stalking his own daughter, how does he intend to run a country? Holy shit. Yes, I've heard it here first.

I think that'll work. I think it will work. I think it will work. I think it will work. I think that will work. I think it will work. I've heard it over over under in 15 minutes. Yeah, yeah, no, that's my intention. I mean, he tweets in the morning. So be on the look at it like 2 a.m.

Oh, no, I'm coming for him. Okay, thank you so much for coming by. Thank you. I want to see you again. We can do the rage against the Vagina. Anytime. This is the Dix show. See you next Tuesday.

Presenting dick. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK. DICK Okay, oh Sean, I got a bunch for you. Oh good, eh. Hey guys, I love the podcast. This is Derek from Boston. And I just wanted to say, I like what Sean said about any sex thinking you're attractive

is flattering. I especially think it's flattering when I hand some gay men think you're attractive. Because I feel like they're standard and very high. And if they think you're attractive, well, you must be doing something right. So if you're trying to make yourself attractive to girls, maybe instead you should think about what an attractive gay man would want.

And then you go over. I think he's right. He's a little in a verdictive foyer. Yeah, I think he's right. I think he's right. You should make yourself more attractive to gay men. So many girls want that. They're in love with gay men except that they won't fuck them.

The guys won't fuck them. The gay men won't fuck them. Yeah. Because I, yeah, I've seen that a lot, at least here. I got this theory that what women are attracted to when their ovulating is different than what they're attracted to. Like they want a rugged, non gay. Well, you know, first of all, I don't know what gay men want.

Like I know what a stereotypical gay man on like the real housewives of Beverly Hills wants. Like some cartoon character whose wrists are flailing around like a spaghetti monster. I think right. I'm going to either extreme. Yeah, but I don't know what like a real gay man like to around like a spaghetti monster. I think right. I think it goes to either extreme. Yeah, but I don't know what like a real gay man, like a real gay man that just wants, like, you know, a Marbaro man, like a cowboy who eats pudding, like a broke back mountain, kind of, that has to be a real, do gay men want like super, super polished?

Is that what we're talking about? Well, I, remember, again, Los Angeles isn't representative of the rest of the country. Yeah, I figured that gay people are probably more real everywhere else. Yeah. You know, you got, you know, we're not far from West Hollywood, which is a gayer than San Francisco, actually.

I play another one. I think it's one of leaving a a voice mail because I think the next sporadic story time should be read strictly by swan. Very visually and potably. Well, I'll leave it up to you guys. Some girls that actually do a date, Sean contest and get a day with you. You want to read an erotic story next time? Everybody wants you and Larry, Mr. You wanna read an erotic story next time? Everybody wants you and Larry,

Mr. Velvet to read an erotic story. Okay, no, Larry, I can see. Yeah. You wanna read one? Oh, you don't have to. All right, see what it is. You don't have to check it out first. No, no, no, I doubt sure I'll do it.

All right, you don't have to. All right, I got two things I got to be for you about. That makes me a rage. One is that shitty segment. You had a couple of episodes of that Swedish guy at the end of episode eight or whatever. That guy. Oh, the rage line I was talking about. The rage and the personality of a fucking nail.

That's rage number one. That's the rage. That makes of a fucking nail ah that's range number one that's the reason that makes me a rage ah ha page number two is half Mexican co-hosts or I'm sorry not co-hosts hosts on the podcast that don't shut the fuck up about being half Mexican

yeah are the worst Mexican ever. Here's where the worst Mexican. The worst past Mexican. Yeah, you're right. Past Mexican. If you were full Mexican, we'd fucking hang you. Anyway, here's number one your account supporter number two Mm-hmm. You speak Spanish with a fucking American accent And number three you don't understand Assensus cultural appropriation

I hope I win the rage lottery shit or whatever to get into it with you about that on the show You just did fucking idiot talking about that topic. Did I sound like an idiot with the cultural appropriation thing? Maybe we just don't think it's real Would have called in and called you was called you out on that bullshit Just pretty good Sput them all up. Thank you. I'm a shitty Mexican. That's that's probably no surprise to anybody Fuck you dick. Oh shit. So fucking good dude I can't tell if he's being sarcastic or not Fucking all day

It's so good dude. It's like the best shit You ever took What did you take about your Maddox? Yeah, I know you guys loved each other ever so dearly But I'm glad that I'm kind of glad his show suck and yours is awesome because I don't know the whole thing with the URL thing fucking Kiss me off Kiss me right in the mouth. Yeah, this is everyone. Fist me right in my mouth, too Anyway

People are complaining There weren't enough voice mails after they after the credits. Well, don't stop There weren't enough voice mails after the after the credits. Well don't stop Keep up with patreon Could drive a truck through that I'm so glad that ships around right anyway The thing is what I really need. Yes, you're the sweetest I've ever seen. Thank you, second of you. What? No.

All right, that's it. You passed that. I said, I'm going to dig that show. I'm dig imagine and see next Tuesday. you