The Dick Show - Episode 104 - Dick on Damages

Episode Date: May 29, 2018

Jerusalem is Disneyland for the somber, Israel likes their flag as much as the US does, the time Mohammed jumped into space, Ramadan and the sweet sound of black women, Sweaty Suits, mildew towels, how to make your girlfriend lose weight, "making it official", Dustin returns, Road Rage: Dallas, gun fever, the lolsuit, countersuits, and Asterios is no longer employed by Webber Shandwick; all that and more on this week's episode of The Dick Show!

It's getting bad. What's that? To the world. Yeah. Show. We're ending. Real bad. Seriously.

Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously.

Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Yeah! Hey, welcome to Dick, you on Dick, you need Dick, you love Dick, it's a show! Everything is a contest coming to you back from the USA. Thank God, thank God!

Thank God, back in a concrete bunker and a heart of a mountain in the deep and the hardest city of failure, I mean, Hosik Mechston, the $20 million man. The $20 million man with me is always a Sean, the audio engineer. Hello, Dave. Hey, what's up, buddy? Joining us today is Keon McGonion. Hey, everybody.

The hero, Keon McGonion. Oh, God. I don't know where to start. Thank God being back in the USA. Yeah, sounds like it. You know what brought me home? Because it's, I spent far too long in the Middle East. Yeah.

And how long is far too long? Two weeks. How long would have been not too long? Let me tell you something. What's going to do this? It was two weeks. It was two weeks, but it was during Ramadan. Yeah.

Time passes slowly during Ramadan. Especially for a Westerner. It was, you know, a man board his fog. I mean, they got to be, right? It is not, it is not the Muslim Christmas. Oh, that is not an accurate way to describe it. Okay. You can't drink water in the street.

That's a paddling. Wow. Drinking water in the, drinking water in the street, man. That's amazing. That is, Haram is fuck during Ramadan. Drinking water. We are made of water. You can't drink water in the street. You need to set up some kind of a screen

so you can drink nothing. I take it in the street. Nothing, you can't even drink your own spit. You have to find a woman and spit it in her mouth during your mouth. It was so, it was, it was so fucked, not being able to like munch on a snack or drink water in the street.

I'm never going to complain about water ads again. An America's obsession with hydration. Yeah. Never again. Every time I see any kind of water, vitamin water, fitness water, cotton, fucking candy water, uh, that you goddamn drink that cotton candy water that you're right is an American. And if any religious theocracy ever tries to tell you that you can't drink that water somewhere, you can tell them to shove it up there, fucking ass.

Welcome to the goddamn United States. Yep. No water. In the desert. In the desert. Jesus. In the desert that's so humid, by the way, you can suck water out of the air. It's like a 60-70% humidity in a country that is 180 degrees at night and at Ramadan so you have to wear pants. Wow. What the fuck? How did you make it? How were you not incarcerated?

This is what I mean. It was it was it was It was a two week vacation, but because of Ramadan, it felt like a thousand years in the Phantom Zone. Yeah. You have to wear pants during Ramadan? You have to wear pants. Well, here's the thing. This is the thing that fucks with your brain is that is not the right question to ask. I didn't ask.

Do you have to anymore? Because it's just, it's, whatever you think you may or may not do, the answer is that might be seen as offensive. Well, that might be, well, that's wrong place for dick masses. I don't really, that doesn't work for me so well in America. I don't want to maybe offend somebody. I guess I'm wearing pants then. It's a gamble like 500 times a day. That might be seen as offensive. That might be seen as offensive. Oh, too vague. What does that mean? Yeah. Like the drinking water thing. Oh no, that's definitely illegal. Oh, thank God. Back in the United States. I have never felt such tremendous relief than walking off the stage.

I shit you not, this is gonna sound weird, but if you've experienced it, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. I get off the plane, and I'm in like a mob of little Indian people because that's who's taking the plane from the UAE back home with me, just tons of Indians.

Is it like tech stuff? No, they're slave class. So yeah, Abu Dhabi, the Indians are a slave class. Pakistan, all like little brown people. They're like the umpilumps. What about the little brown people who own the country? No, they're not, they're not the slave class. They're wearing white robes.

Okay. So the entire country is this is how I understand it. What do you you laugh at that about the UAE? It's 10% locals. They're all little brown people. That's fine. There's nothing around people. That's how you racist white man. That's how you would describe them. It's fine. It's totally fine. Just saying who's like who's the beards and the beard knots. The Indians don't have the meticulously manicured facial features, you know. The whole country has, that's their Mexicans, basically. You know, every country has a Mexicans. Well, you've got, I know the Poles in London. Right.

Yeah. The Polish. That's all I got. Yeah. They build, the people that do the work and do the building and stuff. Apparently they have some kind of indentured servitude program where you sign up for three years. You come over, they take your passports, you don't run off with all the denaris you're scoring there. And then you work for three years and you go home and you retire like a king back in India.

Yeah, but while you're there, you're like, you're, you're, they're the ones that are driving the cabs. Busting your hump. Yeah, you're busting your hump. You're doing labor. Um, so the whole country is, is primarily, um, international people, is non-local. People is like 90% either America, Pakistan, India, Filipino. So everybody leaving, everybody leaving on my flight.

I think that was my whole point. It was it was brown in some way in Pakistan, uh, Filipino, not many Filipinos. I get off the plane and I hear the sweet, the sweet, sweet singing voice of black American women. Yeah. That is what empowerment. Oh, man, I don't know how to say this in a way that's not weird, but I heard that.

No, no, I get it. Yeah, I like, I love this country. Yeah, this sounds like, is that large? And I'm like, that's the sound. I, that's the sound of freedom. I'm missing that sound for three weeks. It, it really is. It really is.

It really is. The casual, you want that in large? Like, yes. That's so comforting to me. Thank you. I'm gonna kiss your face, you beautiful woman. Tap your nails on something. Yeah.

Oh, it was great. That's the relief war worst over me as soon as I heard. Yeah, I don't go during Ramadan. Okay, that's all I'm gonna say. The whole, I understand, I don't go during Ramadan. Okay, that's all I'm gonna say. I understand, I learn a lot about Israel. You do? I understand a lot more about Israel now. Have you been woke?

I got woke as fuck. Because here's the reason everyone hates Israel, including the media, because they're basically a little America in the Middle East. Yeah, I don't know. I got called ignorant by an Uber driver, an Israeli Uber driver. Was it two nights ago, eighties ago? Two nights ago, because I was going off on a rant about, first of all, there are no country

in the world loves their own flag more than the United States and Israel. Sure. Everywhere. They'll put it on a, you can't go, you can't walk two feet in that country without seeing yet another Israeli flag on something. They're in love with it. They absolutely love it. Same American attitude.

Like they, they have, it's a uniquely, uniquely American thing, and now Israeli thing, where they are preemptively pissed off at countries that they don't want to go to. Yeah. Like, yeah. We were talking about the problems with going back and forth from Abu Dhabi UAE in Israel. He said, I know. And we're talking to some of the locals

about it at this hostel. And this woman's like, oh yeah. And she's rattling off. She's Israeli woman. She's rattling off the countries that won't accept Israeli passports, right? She's going through them.

So I'm a being a ball-budger, I'm like, oh, do you want to go? To fuck no. Yeah, to do by fuck no. Then why are you, then I'm like, I'm not just the fact that it would give me a hard time. Yeah, the fact that I'm not allowed to do something I don't want to do, I've got a big problem with it. And I said, you know what, me fucking too.

Yeah. Ocean Zay, don't ever want to see it. Can I get that in the large? Yeah. You guys need more black women here. I got to tell you something. That's where you're fucking up. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, that's what it, yeah, I want to see those, I want to see those fuckers in the Middle East stand up to an American black woman. Yeah, that's the problem. That's why to see those I want to see those fuckers in the Middle East stand up to an American black woman Yeah, that's the problem. That's why those guys Tell him you can drink on the street. Yeah, we'd have had a standoff today in Dubai The black woman refused to stop drinking her water. Yeah They got all the secret police out there Not gonna know bullets left and right,

like the matrix. Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. Bam, bam, dude. No lie. No lie. They're the big, they're the band guards of liberty. I really fucking think they're now, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I grew up with, you know, Mexican strong Mexican women who are the same. What? That was my grandma's, my grandma's, my grandma's like, little Jean, as I was growing up, like, you somebody would maybe curse or something and she'd come, she'd pop her head out. What?

What? And her Mexican accent. What? Equal. What? What? Every time. So.

You gonna get married? Uh, Miko, are you going to get married? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, no, not right now. What? Yeah. It's an institution grandma. So, you know, it's not no benefit for me. What?

Mm-hmm. Every time. When's the last time you've been to church? I don't know, like, two years ago. What? Okay. E-E-L. It's what they need over there.

Let me see. What? I'm not going to get married. I'm not going to get married. Yeah. You know's what they need over there. Let me see. What was I talking about? Jerusalem. Yeah.

And then I got to get to some very serious stuff here. Sure. It's all very serious stuff. Well, yes, Jerusalem. That's the problem with Jerusalem. Yeah. It's how seriously everyone takes it. Okay.

What a shit show. It was like Disneyland got date raped by a swap meet. That's what Jerusalem. Really? People have been fighting over this city for 7,000 years. But it is effectively Disneyland. There's the Muslim world. Let me try to explain.

I'm gonna try to explain what this city is like, because it's important, I guess. You know, people have been slaughtering each other over it for thousands of years. It's very interesting, very interesting place to go to. Very interesting, I don't know if I can explain it properly because what's something you've been fighting over for 7,000 years that has nothing, like I don't know why I was there, I can't tell you why, they were fighting over for 7,000 years. That has nothing, like I don't know why.

I was there, I can't tell you why. They were fighting over it. There's a rock where Muhammad jumped into space. That I saw that. Yeah, they have, there's a golden dome and then there's a rock and Muhammad jumped into outer space from it like the superhero landing. Did it really look like a little boy?

Did it really look like a little boy? Did it really look like a little boy? Did it realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize?

Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Did you realize? Like, Space Jam. See these aliens are like, I'm gonna posterize Jesus. That's what it's gonna all fuck tough, but I figured it out. These aliens came and they're like serving us.

Moham is like, well, I guess I gotta play basketball again. I swear I'd never play basketball, but if these aliens are gonna come to the Jerusalem and start stepping to my people, I'm gonna fucking dunk on their ass. Oh my gosh, shit. Oh, I gotta read the Quran. That's why they pray to Me people, I'm gonna fucking dunk on their ass. Oh, shit. Oh, God. That's why they prayed a mecca,

because they all had to wake up and rally him all day to practice more. So they keep him on schedule. We got this big match coming up. Fucking Mont stars are here to embarrass us, take Jerusalem. You got to dunk on these people. And you did? He jumped into outer space.

What a great world. Throw it down. There's the wailing wall, you've heard that. I've never seen that. Yeah, I have that. So that wall separates the Jewish world, like it's Disneyland, right? It separates Jewish land from Muslim land

on the other side and on the Jewish side, there's like, it's like basically Bible camp, I guess, where there's a bunch of old men and a bunch of teenagers with the rings in their hair, you know, the acidic rings in their hair and the armicles. I grabbed one, by the way, the armica from there. So give it a way.

Really? Free armicas at the Wailing Wall, free airport in Israel. They've been getting a bad rap on the jokes scene. You know what I'm saying? They know how to work. I mean, there's not that many Jews in the world. I mean, that's like giving out free Yamakas is probably not, yes, not terrible.

At least, at least, at least make people think there's bigger numbers. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You see Dick walking around wearing a Yamaka. I don't think they want that PR. I don't know. Yeah, we got, no, that guy's,

I'm probation. I think they know how to promote. So there's the wailing wall where you got what's essentially Bible camp for them as far as I can tell. It's a bunch of old rabbis, I don't know. Yeah, leading these little like chance where everybody's like going into this quaking state,

reading, like they're all like like Adam Sandler Oh, I all bought out like going on and on like a weird cave these tombs Tombs that have been there for I guess 7,000 years Was the weirdest part they've got it split right down the middle the women on one side on this wall and the men on the other side All like really playing into these hysterical chanting and crying, uh, jags. Mm-hmm. Like why, like going to a Selena concert back in the day, I guess.

Everybody, or a Beatles concert, Sean, for you. Yeah, yeah, my era. Yeah, your era. Yeah, my era. Right. When I was like a teenager. And then there's, there's this weird, like, there's this weird element of sports,

of sports mania to it, where these little band of like teenage Jewish kids, I was there on Jerusalem day. And apparently someone got killed or something. I don't know, there was a big, I came back home from my trip and my phone's blown up because front page of the drug report is like, Jerusalem under attack. Oh, Christ, it's exactly who my mom didn't want. I came back home from my trip and my phone's blown up because front page of the drug report is like

Jerusalem under attack. Oh, Christ. This is exactly what my mom didn't want. What did I do? So they're going around like these roving bands of Jewish kids are going from like doorway to doorway in the wall. It's this old city. Old Jerusalem is in the middle of normal Jerusalem. Yeah, so it's that's a theme park. The city is totally normal, but then you can go into the old Jerusalem where it's, there's like attractions. Like there's the, there's the, there's the hut where God told Abraham

to like draw a Dix on a sun's face to my wife's sleeping, do you remember that? Yeah. The story and the guy was about, Abraham is about to draw his dicks on his face, and he's like, God's like, nah, you don't have to do that. And then you found a ram or something, it was all good. Yeah, that spot exists.

And it's like, it's not even like etched in stone. It's just like a piece of paper that's laminated and stuck into a wall. Yeah. What the hell is with dicks all over it? Yeah, someone's trying to dick on it. Yeah. So these band of teenagers are running around very aggressively singing songs

that these Muslim guards with AR-15s standing there protecting the rock where Muhammad jumped into space and the mosque on the other side. Like it is, it felt exactly like a sports rally. Every part of it. So the the the Israeli youth fuck with the Muslim guards and the the Muslim youth fuck with the Israeli guards. No Muslim youth. But no, no, no Muslim youth doesn't work. There's no fucking around on that side

because they will be killed. I don't know. It's just I'm saying I understood the American side of the beef. But the other side, it was like, I don't know, what's a sports team that's like very serious? I don't know. Like the Cowboys. You know, it was like, we're a proud tradition over here. We don't get into these singing songs, games like you guys do. It felt like that, but they're just,

they're standing there getting aggressively taunted. Yeah. Having a good time. I don't, I don't, I don't, these, the police there, the Israeli police are like 30% smoking hot chicks. I don't know how to function like this. Like they're just, this girl's telling us.

A hot chick with a weapon. Yeah. Boy, you must have been, yeah. Hey, the interaction the entire time. Yeah. It was, you could have nailed Jesus to my heart on it. It was hot. You might not have been able to get a nail in Sean.

Uh huh. And then you've got Jewish land and Muslim land Yeah. That are on opposite sides of that big wall, right? And they're all screaming at each other all day. And then you've got Jewish land and Muslim land that are on opposite sides of that big wall, right? And they're all screaming at each other all day. And then you've got America land. Over, this is the Disneyland that is Jerusalem. Then you've got America land, like,

couple blocks away, where Jesus was killed. I guess that's what they're saying. I have no reason to doubt it. Like, it seems like, I guess, I thought I was gonna see a bunch more Jews get killed. Was that all there? Is that where this? Yes. Gorgatha is the mountain, right the hill?

Yes. That's why it's so fucked to see. Because you're like, I've been hearing about these stories. My whole life, right here, is where Judas pulled down John the Baptist pants in front of everyone. And it says, you're like, I've been hearing about this story my whole life, right? And here it is. is where Judas pulled down John the Baptist pants in front of everyone. And it says, you know, like, I've been hearing about this story my whole life, right? And here it is.

Yeah. Right here in front of us. Should be like a statue you could take a picture with. Yeah. Here's where Jesus got skull thumped for the first and last time. Right over here, but Joseph, they says it right there.

They've got in the, the America land, where Jesus was killed, and where his tomb is, which I didn't believe, I didn't believe that the tomb was actually his, his too close. It's like you telling me, crucified him and then dragged him over here. It's like 20 feet, I don't think, 30 feet, I don't think that happened.

But they've got like a slab where he was prepared afterwards. It's got, they's got a whole tour. Sure. Which I touched my balls and I'm handing out Yamakos at the end. No, no, no, no, no, crosses. Oh. They got a big stack of crosses because I guess the pilgrims will come make their journey

there and drop their crosshash and then they burn them. Oh, your socks are talking American land. Yeah, that's where they are. Where are these fucking, man? What is interesting because it's like three major religions process and then they burn them. Oh, your socks are talking American land. Yeah, that's where they're going to be. That's right. Yeah, where are these fucking, man? What is interesting because it's like the three major religions or three major religions, it's all holy to them. And it's all right there.

Yeah, it's all happening right there. The place where Jesus killed looks like, it looks like, it looks like they scraped out the insides of every, every, every cab in New York City. There's like hanging incense. Oh, yeah, it's a bizarre. It's a very, very, all gold. Looks terrible.

No, no, like somber dignity. I thought there'd be a lot of that. Absolutely not. It's a, it's a, it's a, a cattle call through there. We stood in line instantly. This troop of nuns start coming over and throwing elbows. Oh boy. Like they're about three feet tall, little pygmy, Indian nuns, just cramming their cr... Couldn't, couldn't wait another second. Their entire lives devoted to Christ couldn't wait 10 minutes to, you know, to, to just get

in line like everybody else. So I've got to pull, I find myself in the situation, just to check out this spot where Jesus got killed, of having to pull a pivot move on a bunch of nuns. A bunch of nuns. Because I keep, I'm not throwing, I'm not throwing elbows, I'm gonna put the elbow here. And, and if one of you pivots me,

one of you's gonna get an elbow in the neck. This is how this move works. This is how it works on regular sized people. You're gonna get an elbow. I've ordered it a bar. Like I'm using tricks that I use to order it a bar on opening day Dodgers opening day to get these fucking nuns off of my nuts.

Yeah. Just to see where Jesus was killed for God's sake. Yep. So they finally got a priest who's running the whole thing who's selling candles or whatever he's doing. They finally came over and yelled at them. Settle down. We're doing the opposite of what Jesus would do, which is to try to cram his way to the spot where he got killed. Yeah, sure. Yeah. I don't know if there's any, I don't know if I have anything else to say about, oh, we were religiously persecuted. Oh, okay.

Trying to get into see the, you know, you've been, yeah, trying to get in to see the space rock. So after, oh, Mohammed space rock, after we did the wailing wall, we went to America land and got some, checked out the Jesus stuff, you know, friend of ours who was on the trip picked up across at the bizarreizarre for his sister who lives back in the U.S. and his very, very religious. So then we're like, oh, let's check out the space rock, you know. Let's see, maybe we could touch it, get some hops of our own.

Yeah. Wait in line for like an hour and they have very strange warnings all over everything. Like, no, no, no, no funny stuff, no dabbing. There's a picture of a guy and says no gestures, no religious icons, and no gestures, right? Because that's, we can't be doing anything silly in front of, in front of these things, right? There's ultimate weakness

Explicitly rule number one no damn it. Join religious Institutions no fucking mockery. Yeah, definitely not in the US anymore I see where you guys might have some problems. It's rule number one right there the little picture of a guy doing fucking nothing But having a good time right and a picture of him with no hands or no head. Yeah. And that's next picture is disconnected from the head. He's holding it like Ikebod grain. Right. And his head looks very disappointed.

Mm-hmm. He was not allowed to see all the features of the space rock. He was dabbing on his little holding head that he was holding. Yeah. Two after that. Um. We go in there and they go through your stuff like they just go through everything, man.

They tear through this guy's bag, his camera, like your pockets they're going into, but it's also insanely hot chicks. So you can't be too upset. And they find a cross that he had purchased for a sister, gone. Nope. You can't take this into the space rock, into Muhammad's space rock facility. Cause not gone. Nope. You can't, you can't take this into the space rock into Muhammad's space rock facility. Cause not a lot right in the trash. Wow. That is full on Trump was right. Christians being persecuted left and right over up in this bitch. Man.

Then I got in and I was wearing pants. Two guys were wearing shorts and they made them both put on dresses. That was pretty funny. Yeah. But that was a weird land man. It was a common land. You go in there. If you look too long, you get yelled at. It's like a dad's paradise.

You yell that. You get yelled at for anything there. You don't even need, there's not even like a set list of consistent rules that you can be yelled at for. You just get yelled at for existing. At five minutes, you look too long at that. That's it, that's it, keep going, keep going. Put a dress on, like put a dress on.

What the fuck are you talking about? Guys already took my cross. Anyway, there you go, That's Jerusalem for you. Wild. It was wild. Oh yeah, and I touched, I tried to touch my balls on everything Jesus related. I would give a, I would like crouch down like a kneel, like a t-bow. Yeah.

And then I would lean over like I was respectfully touching things, but I would secretly be kind of do a spread and get my balls on it. It was pretty, it was pretty cool. It's pretty smart. Uh-huh. But I would secretly be trying to do a spread and get my balls on it It was pretty it was pretty cool. It's pretty smart Uh-huh if I don't say so myself. Uh-huh. Okay, let me see What else we got here? Make sure the feeds how many items did you get your balls on of historical importance not enough? Um, I didn't get my balls on anything in Muhammad land. No um I don't think I balls on anything in Muhammad land. No.

I don't think I got the wailing wall. I was close though. I got real, I got right up close. I got the burial slab. Oh boy. I got something else. Yeah. I tried to reach my hand where Jesus was crucified. They got like a little tube that you can't see in.

Yeah. I put my hand, I tried to reach in there to see if there was any candy or anything like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there was nothing. I got my hand pre-parted. And I didn't want to get stuck. You know, I got, oh.

Like a baboon, right? I thought, well, you reach it out and you close your hand and they can't figure out how to open your fucking hand to get it out. Well, then I was like, oh, like what if they, in my mind I had like some stupid Indiana Jones booby trap thing in my head,

like what if no one's reached their hand into this, Jesus hole. There's just been a guy down there the whole time waiting for someone. Yeah. And then I started thinking to weird stuff, like what if it's just like a guy who's gonna lick my fingers? I don't want that.

Yeah. You're gonna get aroused I don't want that. Yeah. You're gonna get aroused by where Christ was killed. Yeah. So I ruined it. I ruined it for myself. And then, oh yeah, then I lit a candle for my grandma. I was just gonna tell her that I did it because I didn't wanna spend the 10 shekels

to get a bunch of candles. I get it taken away probably. Fuck these guys. Yeah. I'm not paying money for this. But then, and then I was like, oh, the checkle just sound stereotypical, doesn't it?

I know, that's what I was saying. I was like, well, I'll just tell her, that's the same. I'm the only one that knows it's different. It's the thought that counts. As the thought, I thought about doing it. So I did it, Therefore I did it. But then our buddy Andy bought a fat stack of candles.

So I stole one of his. There you go. Grabbed on a his before he lit it before he lit it. And then right when you light them, the priest comes over and grabs them and puts them out. I was like, what the hell is that? Oh, what kind of operation you're running here, buddy? Candle recycling. He just goes and sells them back as soon as he's on Extinguistics. I thought that too, but they looked new. Just get a knife and shave him, a little candle sharpener.

So, candle sharpener. Scam is old as time. Yeah, 7,000 years old. 7,000 years old. That was the part that weirded me. I mean, for nothing. We just love our stories, I guess. Yeah.

We love our inspiring stories. It would be like, if, like imagine if Elvis, like Graceland and Dollywood were on the same spot. That's what I kept thinking the entire time. And like, the Lynn Biscuit was born there too. It's like, oh, this is gonna be a fucking disaster. You guys gotta space these out a little bit. You fucking idiots.

What are you thinking? Yeah. You know, you get a little bit, you fucking idiots. What are you thinking? Yeah. You know, you get a little, you get some slip knot in your Elvis. That's not gonna fly. People somberly remembering Elvis's death day, singing my way, and then you got son of a coal miner's daughter. What's a dolly part and song? And I'll always love you going on.

Son of a coal miner's daughter. What is that dollar part in song and I'll always love you going on. I'm a minor star. What is that? Is it not Loretta Lynn? I think coal miners daughter son of a son of a coal mine. That was that one. That's a limp is good song. Yeah. Son of a coal miners daughter. That's what they're doing there. It's just a bunch of apiary. That's why they're so pissed. I got a cool, we got a cool wall. Hey, we got a rock where you could jump to space. Yeah. We had this fucking, there's a guy going, I really did it one time. I really did it that time.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't know. It made the entire thing seem so much smaller than it is. Like that you can stand there and see it, made it seem not magical at all. Yeah, that was my takeaway. Like you guys have airport security protecting a fucking rock in a dome. Yeah, get over it. Yeah, fucking not.

This history to me is dead. Yeah, that's this, this is peak history. This is what we do over it. Yeah. Fucking, this history to me is dead. Yeah. That's this, this is peak history. This is what we do with it. We don't need it. And for some people, doing what you did, it changes their lives. Mm. You know, I don't want to know those people.

You know, my, I went to the Vatican, my family and I was the Vatican. And my mom was so affected by the ostentation of wealth at the Vatican that she stopped was so affected by the ostentation of wealth at the Vatican that she stopped donating to the church period. Fuck you, you've got plenty of money. Yeah, that was the weirdest thing. I was being a little prick.

I was in my, I think I was in my 20s or something that age where you just really want to stump everybody with annoying anti-religious should, which I don't think this is. And then afterwards my mom, like a week later, she's like, oh yeah, couldn't believe it. People starving all over the world and they just, and they have like, roves made of gold. Mm-mm, I'm not.

Yeah, there you go. Just fucking true. Okay, let me see, let's get to the lawsuit stuff. Dallas, road rage Dallas, tickets are on sale June 30th. It's going to be, it's going to be a blast. Jamie says, you've been to that street, right? You've been to the club that we're having in that. So it's, it gets a stamp of approval. Okay. So wait. Yeah. So you know, Jamie knows't mean those were the parties in. Yeah. Tickets are on sale, website, tick.show. If you're a Patreon, you get a discount.

So sign up, it's worth the price of admission and you get to see the video. You get to see Sean's beautiful face here. I get to see Keon's beautiful haircut that he has now. He's no longer a long hair like I am. Road rage, I think Peach is gonna drink some mustard. That's what I hear. Coach is gonna be there.

I think Mad Cux is gonna be there too. Should he's not that far? Yeah, and your brother is allegedly might make it out. Yeah. Yeah. I think my man is gonna be there. Wow. Yeah.

He took some heat on the last episode for looking tired, but. Oh, well, it's midnight. It's like one in the morning. Look tired. You guys went out in the desert not drinking. Yeah. We've been out in the desert afraid of a lot of desires. Yeah.

Afraid of all of our desires. Yeah. Like by the end, I'm like, can I even put in a porn site? Is like, are people going to knock the door down? Yeah, right. What the hell's going on here, man? My man's gonna be there and I don't know,

I wanna Texas it up a little bit. Okay. Right? Yeah, maybe we have some kind of a rodeo. Yeah. I'm kind of a, some kind of a bucking, a bucking lady contest, bringing your lady and you try to, right around, yeah?

Open, yeah, open, an esterios roping contest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See who can wrap his legs back? Exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. Put your hand in the air. Ah! Grease him up. Have you pretty good.

That'd be pretty funny. I do have another, I do have one more thing that makes me rage. Maybe I'll get to it. Maybe I'll get to it later. Yeah, what the hell? I'll get to it later. So, the hot-goss this week,

we had one week of good times. Yeah. I don't even know if I'd call it a week. We had a couple days of good times. Yeah. I don't even know if I'd call it a week. We had a couple days of good times, didn't we? After the lawsuit. And we found the transcripts. And I have the entire transcript. Is that what you read through it?

Yeah, I've between the videos that I've watched. I've, yeah, I've read a lot of it. I mean, you can follow in the transcript where you know the judge does not give a fuck and is already made up his mind. I think it happens within like the first two pages. Yeah. And then you've got instantly pissed. Instantly pissed.

And then you've got 50 pages of judge Ramo's making fun of land out. Whether he realizes it or not. I mean, as a lawyer who's in court, like four to five days a week, I've seen a lot of testimony. I've seen a lot of judges yelling at people for being idiots, but this was spectacular. I mean, this was really, That's what Lee or something else. Did he?

Yeah. I, I, I, I, I, he said, this doesn't happen. Not not quite like this. No, never. I emailed your attorney, Matt's. Yeah. Yeah. One of the way. Yeah. And asked her how come the transcript is missing all of the rockets laughter that must have been going on in the courtroom. Yeah.

And she said everyone was just too confused to, uh, to even try to laugh. Oh, Ramos, I'm a public figure. You should see what they say about me on the internet. That's a bad sign. Yeah. Yeah.

If you're lost, it is about hurt feelings. That's not what you want to hear. You want to hear like, well, you know, the first amendment is a living document. Yeah. That would be what you want to hear right there. Not, doesn't bother me. My favorite one, the court, is this the one with Santa Cut on the picture? And they asked about Greenberger had to go into detail about

Santa, Santa Cut album. He instantly knew, is that the one with Santa Cut on the picture? Judges, you know that it is. You just wanted to ask that. I get it. I get my mom burns at your level. I know what you're doing. I know that you know the answer,

but you want to say it so they have to say something. Cause that hurts so much more. And then here was I think what you're talking about. I understand the point, both of you are trying to to make and I'm not denying the motion at all. What I'm saying is this complaint is such a mess that I can't address these issues because I can't specifically point to what's being alleged as against the point. This is what this is the one that was not dismissed with prejudice, right? Yeah. It's such a fucking dumpster fire that it's a ramshackle affair, man. So here's what we know about a stereos.

And we had a brief moment of celebration where we thought all of this was behind us. But then it comes out today, we loaded up. So I've been worried about a stereos. I think we all have for a while, specifically regards this lawsuit, but specifically in regards to his job. Yes. Because he works for a gigantic PR company.

Uh huh. And this is poison. This is a massive distraction to them. Not anything he's done. Not anything a stereos ever did, but the threat of a lawsuit and a criminally insane antagonist seems to follow him around with a cadre of like-minded lunatics

that are bent on fucking up and destroying and undoing everything that the guy does in life, like taking his just basic, somebody who would pose as a reporter and antagonize only women executives at a company. Like this is the kind of antagonist that is harassing stereos and following I'm talking about Maddox of course, but just the level of obsession that Maddox has with destroying what a stereos has got going on in his life is something that you are going to have to yield for when

you're a company of this size. Yeah. And that's what we've all been worried about. Like what's gonna happen to you after this? Because the stereosis is a normal guy. Mm-hmm. You know, nothing can happen to me because everyone in my personal life

is either come to terms with what I'm about or just hates me openly. You can't make them hate me anymore. Yeah. You know, I got the rapeless video only worked on like the people who would themselves be affected by it. Yeah. I got to cut ties with you, man, because it's just you too much of a fucking, you or you are too much of a liability. You. Yeah. Just being you. But the rest of my life, you, just being you. But the rest of my life, you know, I'm the one that had to defend my company.

Yeah, from this. I wrote the check, right? Yeah. Me, nobody else did that. It's not you can't squee, you, Maddox can't push a wedge between me and myself. There's no leverage to gain on that. No, no, no. There's no screw to turn on that, right? And everybody who listens to the show and supports it on Patreon understands, understands that and how important it is to defend, right?

Yes. Stereoist doesn't have it. No, like that. It never has. He came on here trying to find his ex-wife a place to live for God's sake. Right? He's got a lot of obligations as what I'm saying, which is fine. Most people do, but he's the every man in this story.

Yeah. He's what I'm saying. And I think companies don't like waves. No matter how small. They got an obligation. Yeah. I think that this finally came crashing down on him because I'm reading between the lines on this story I'm about to read you. This is from PR week. Yeah. This idiot Thomas Moore shoved his nose. He's trying to get clicks by playing up the lawsuit against Weber-Shandwick. Like he's doing a bad thing. He's taking it. He's taking Maddox's lawsuit, not treating it as a joke. You can see where he tries to present

it as a 50-50 thing. The thing that I hate most about the news, where they take something that only a that a Muppet can tell is obviously one way and they choose to report it so that it's still questionable. Whether like, oh, we've got a, we've got a MIT scientist who's been in outer space and can tell you that the world is around on the left. And here we've got dumb fuck McGee who says the world is flat. What's here from both of you gentlemen? Like no, you're doing a really terrible disservice when you do that. When you present the both sides of something. Yeah. Because the the idiot side does some people shouldn't get a voice. No. They shouldn't. Only doing it. You're only doing it to take advantage of the guy who's getting attacked. You're only doing it to take advantage of the guy who's getting attacked.

You're only doing it to cash in on somebody else's reputation anyway. PR week writes an article about it, a very stupid article, and Thomas Moore, you're a fucking idiot. Here's where it says, let me see, here's the part about me. The judge dismissed the claim against Dick and my company on the grounds that it was brought in the wrong jurisdiction. However, Maddox can and his attorneys say they would replete the case in California.

So you've just given, you're out of, based on absolutely nothing, you've just given some bit of credulence to the lawsuit. We can talk about that if you want, about Ann Henry filing California. Good luck. Oh, yeah. Oh, boy. So California has a very strong, what's called an anti-slap statute.

And I know that a lot of people in the reddit have been talking about this, but what slap stands for is strategic limitation against public participation and essentially, GPs. Right. slap stands for is strategic limitation against public participation and essentially, two-piece publication. Right. So essentially what California's anti-slap statute says is that if anyone, and there are special protections for people making works of arts or commentaries on art such as the Dick show, should make any kind of criticism or statement that draws a lawsuit from someone trying to shut them up, you can immediately file this anti-slap suit and argue that, okay, look, this speech

is protected by the First Amendment. There's no way that he can win on legal grounds. And if you win that under California, you get all of your attorney's fees and expenses paid by the other party. And California has something called a slap back provision, meaning that after you win the anti-slap motion, you can then go after the guy for punitive damages, which there is no limitation on what the punitive, well, there is no set statute saying what the punitive damages shall be, but they can be consistent with due process

up to nine times the amount of your time. Nine times attorney's fees. Yeah, up to that amount depending on how a gregis, the, on how a gregis the conduct is. Like having a training order against you already, having filed this already and getting it thrown out with prejudice and getting told you're going to take into prison in handcuffs that day unless you stop interrupting. Yeah, that all certainly does.

That all certainly does. Leaving voicemails on your commercial agent, sanitary machine, saying that you're a rapist and to fuck up all your pizza commercials, that would be something admitted to evidence in that trial. Definitely could be. So what I'm saying is it would be just the worst idea you could ever do for that. I mean, you would count on it. Yeah, there you go.

Yeah, sue me. sue me in fucking California. Bring it on. Bring it on. I will run up a big, run up a gigantic attorney's fees and then I will, Maddox, I will ask fuck you like a pig in the first episode of Black Mirror on the fucking internet and exchange for the $100,000 bill you're gonna run up by suing me in California. Do it.

You like fucking gambling? You like your mom? You like long shots? You fucking doey bitch. Sue me in fucking California. Bring it on. You're gonna get slapped back to Utah. You cock sucker.

Replead the case in California. Help me out here. Thomas Moore. Send to send him an email. Yeah. Encourage him to do it. But give him a send him a follow-up. Hey, what happened to this lawsuit? I thought you had something here. Anyway, um, here's the last line. There are also several sanctioned motions related to the case that are undecided. Sanctions are charges brought by attorneys on one side, alleging that attorneys on the other side engaged in improper conduct. They're often used as a tactic in complex lawsuits.

What the hell, what the hell is that? He's threw that in there. Yeah, what the fuck? This is like Landau's sobriety counselor. Yeah, just throwing an opinion. I released that episode, by the way. Yeah, I know. We didn't do a good job as Nick does.

Nick records when he reads through legal documents. That's the feedback I got from that episode. What do you mean? But oh, oh, because we read through. Because he does a great job. Well, that was when I had land as DUI arrest. Oh, yeah, right, right. That was before Nick's thing was like a format.

Sure. Which it is now. Sure. A stereosis it is now. Sure. Asteriosus, because I can't read. I can't sit there and read a whole thing. Yeah. Just need to skip around, you know. Asteriosus attorney said that although the court left a chance for Maddox to refile, he's not worried.

Complaint was like a one-legged dog. Yeah. There was nothing to stand on. Greenberger's got a liquor joke and a dog joke. One sentence, pretty good. Yeah. There was nothing to stand on. Greenberg has got a liquor joke and a dog joke. One sentence. Pretty good. Yeah. Weber. Here we go. Here's a turn. Weber confirmed that stereos is no longer an employee at the agency, but did not comment further on his departure. Yeah. And they won't. Yeah. Astero's did not comment, except to promote his web presence. They couldn't even put the link there. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking asshole. Yeah.

Come on. Help. You got a bunch. You got paid for this. You son of a bitch. How about help? Astero's out. Fuck you, Thomas Moore. So there it is. I'm going to say, I'm going to say he got fired because that's what I think happened. That's what I think happened to because that's what companies do. But they of course never do it before legal actions are settled so they don't open themselves up for any kind of a wrongful termination, lawsuit or whatnot. I don't think you have to be a lawyer to understand that, right? Well, because you string people along while you can still get usage out of that. Well, yeah, that too.

You make them feel like you're part of the family, or there is a family, even though there's not one, because it's a business. And then the second that you don't need them anymore, you kill them. It's the dreaded vote of confidence that GMs give the manager of a baseball team or something like that. They're actively looking. He's our man. He's a blah, blah, blah, blah.

You know, we have the utmost respect and confidence in him and he gets you up into space. This guy out of here. He's gone. So that's what I think happened. I've seen a lot of theories floating around that his engagement there was some kind of a freelance. I don't buy any of it. I don't know if he's talking about it yet.

Probably not. But in my mind, and I hope Nick's going to weigh in on it. And Keon, if you know this too, in my mind, this is the, vaunted quote unquote, damages that we've always been missing. The rapist video dropped and everybody says, you gotta sue.

You gotta sue for that. But the problem is, it didn't hurt me financially. Yeah, I guess I use any business because of it. And Patreon went from $6,000 to $18,000 over night. Yeah. So you can't go to court with your dick in your hand and say, well, I've been wronged.

Everybody hates me. That's not, they hated you before this. Like this is just an excuse they used to fuck with you. Um, this however, if, if what I think happened happened that Weber sandwich fired his stereos, um, because of the lawsuit. Yeah. That seems like big damages to me. Yeah, and I don't know, but it seems like Like it seems like you can't break the law by impersonating a reporter Attempt to extort someone's place of business

Sue them attempting to extort them further into you know not blackmail, but like except attempting to extort them further into, you know, not blackmail, but like, attempting to influence their behavior with the threat of negative PR, have this plan work, and then get away with it. No. Doesn't seem like something, I mean, Maddox committed crimes for this to happen. I know it doesn't say that in that paragraph,

but what are we? Asterios is the guiltiest, most loyal guy in the fucking world, you know? He, there's no way I'd refuse to believe that this would be voluntary. That's what I'm saying. Oh, yeah, I think I know exactly what fucking happened. No, me to string him along until you don't need them and the second you

don't need them anymore, gone. Which they have to do, they have to do, but also fuck them. Yeah. Cause that's, that is fucking bullshit. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, and if this was, I do wonder if Weber sandwich, if a woman was being similarly pursued by an ex, if they would cut her loose in the same way.

Yeah. You know, I wonder that. Uh huh. I wonder what their commitment to act to the actual application of justice would be. Being a PR firm, being a PR fucking firm, I bet it's different. I bet it's a PR for. Being a PR fucking firm. Oh, that it's different. I bet it's a little different if a woman's trying to marry Tyler more herself in a new city and her psychotic ex-husband keeps calling and fucking with them and suing for child support or whatever.

I bet they'd be a little more understanding in that case, but fuck them, you know, fuck them. Having too much fun, fuck them. To having too much fun, fuck them. I think it's, I think Maddox has done this and I think he deserves to be sued into the fucking ground. Oh, I agree. For it. I don't know what, I don't know what, like I don't know what you can sue for it in that case

because it's a lost job. Like, what are you? I don't know, do they, do they do projections and things like that for potential damages? I have no idea. They do, if you can find the right cause of action. So yeah, lost wages and lost job, at least in California, definitely can be the basis for recovery and a lawsuit.

So for instance, if Weber-Shandwick comes out and says, for sure, yeah, you know what, we have no reason to fire other than this lawsuit and the lies that they made uh... so if they say that they fired him because of the lawsuit then there's some questions as to whether the lawsuit is protected conduct was made in good faith we all know it wasn't but

that would have to be proven to a court uh... and that Heather S. thing going to look real fucking bad. That is going to look real bad. And if they come out and say, okay, you know what? It's part the lawsuit, part just these allegations, or it's part the harassment. It's the whole thing was the harassment.

We don't want to have to deal with it because it makes us look bad, even though we understand their lies. Then yeah, there's a very strong argument that the damages of his lost future earnings and wages stemmed directly from this torsion's conduct. I don't know what the cause of action would be in New York. I mean, maybe this would be just fall under a defamation cause of action, right? Because if they're calling up... What about in California?

In California, it probably would be a defamation cause of action. If, again, just off the top of my head, I would have to do some more research before I could give a definitive answer. But if you call up someone in lie about what they have done, and that lie causes economic harm, you could say, yeah, that's defamation. Now there are definite issues regarding he's a public figure. What does malice play into the equation? Because of course, public figures have less protection when it comes to defamation laws

than other people. But still, if you're calling up someone's employer and lying about them, I don't see how a court could not find that that's Malice. So, yeah, I think that you could definitely recover it. If we can prove that his job was lost based on this lawsuit and the underlying conduct of Maddox. And that would turn largely on what Weber-Shandwick says. I think they owe it to him.

Yeah. So I think Weber-Shandwick, 100% owes it to Stereos to give him the reason. Oh, I mean, I'm assuming that all this is what I'm saying is true. Assuming that he didn't just get a better job, which I don't see that as a possibility. I mean, he's almost unemployable over there. Yeah. Just kidding.

Just kidding. I think they owe it to him to give him that in whatever. Oh, yeah. It's a PR company. I'm sure they've got, I'm sure they've got people working on settlements or whatever. And they owe him that much to give it to him. And we fired you because of the fucking lies

and the lawsuit. It's a fucking dirty deal. But yeah. Instead of just covering it all up and keeping everybody in the dark, like I expect from everybody in the But they really fuck and if there's any if there's any way he can negotiate for that then He absolutely should

Because it sounds like that would be the linchpin for the revenge of the Jedi work movie that I'm working on Yeah, yeah, it sucks. Uh-huh. You fucking won. Yeah. That is the whole reason that he started all of this shit. Yeah, he got one thing he wanted. He got one fucking thing. Yeah. That ball fuck. But, ah, he's a one-step thinker.

Yeah. And this may come back fucking a hundred fold on him. Let me see if, hysterios is on. Let me see if he, let me see if he wants to talk about this. Hey, hysterios, areios, are you around? One sec. Okay, he's got to finish his toast. Yeah.

Hey, can you guys hear me? Yeah, hey man. Yeah. You sound terrific. Look, I'm really, if sorry is our in order, I'm really sorry about what happened to you with the Weber sandwich. There we go. Yeah, it's too good to be true for you, buddy. Turn it back on.

Hello. Yeah, there you are. Hey, if this is what I think it is, the line in that article that that asshole wrote, then I'm really sorry about what happened to you with your job. If if you're a cool job, I don't know what you guys are talking about. I've been drunk since last week. We won the lawsuit, guys. Yeah. We won. We got this mad exson of a bitch. Take that your bowl. Cuck. Oh, sing it with me, everybody. Cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, crowd it says. Oh, I have a check by email in like seven days. What's going on? What article? What are you guys talking about? This is PR week piece where Weber confirmed that coconut is no longer an employee at the agency, but did not comment further on his departure. That was- I'm sorry, I can't hear you over this margarita mixerum running over here.

Slow down, Saratya. There's plenty of bones for us both. Guys, I'm shit to do boys. Yeah. Hey, Saraja. Hey, you're looking good. Well, congratulations on your infinite day weekend. I got to.

Law suit. Yeah. Oh, he'd make the lawsuit real and he did it. Oh, you guys. Bye. Bye. Congratulations on having dated Peach too, I guess. Oh, he left.

Oh, did you see that? I heard a little about that. So, as X-Darius' ex-wife comes into the picture. Oh, I thought that was like common knowledge. What? No, it was not. No, it wasn't. This is the thing. I can But he did. No, it was not. No, see, this is the thing. I

know, I can never remember the real show, the show versus real life. Yeah. And they've the same problem. Yeah. And I just tell me to tell me anything. Yeah. Yeah. I just, I thought it was out there. Yeah. Well, there you go. You know, before moving on from Mysterio, now learning that he lost his job, it does seem like this is the right time to bring up. I originally had a bit that I'm not going to do because it just seems a wrong time. But long story short, I started a GoFundMe for a stereo, to help pay off his legal bills. It's called Quarters for a Cuck.

Now if you can go to GoFundMe.com and slash Quart slash quarters for a cook. And I hope no one does this until I have time to edit the purpose of the fundraiser. Yeah. And take down the picture. But anyway, let's get it because of Sriracha. Okay. Yes. So Sriracha tweeted that for 15,000 bucks, she would post her nudes or something like that as a joke to cover a stereosis remaining legal bill yeah i retweeted it saying be careful with which for

the i think that i don't and i did the math everyone there seventy thousand tickets we each put in one quarter oh my god we'll be able to do that hence the name quarters for a cut and the way that i have it planned out is if we reach that amount a stereos gets all the money and then every person who donated at least one quarter, hopefully three because of the amount that GoFundMe takes out those greedy bastards, will get one randomly selected photo from this nude set. And you don't get them all

because we have to foster a sense of community, you have to trade them around kind of like Pokemon, you got a snatch them all. And then I figure, even though I haven't talked to Estarius and Sriracha about this yet, if we can get up to $100,000, we might be able to get an actual full on Cuckold video with the Stereos in the corner.

This is terrible. I don't wanna see that. I don't care how many quarters that takes. There's only like a buck 50 from each ticket. Oh, he's back. Oh yeah. Oh boy. Serious, did you have something you wanted to say?

I have no comment on this time. Okay, all right, all right, all right, goodbye. Okay, there we go. There you go. I'm gonna play a song. Play song and do some other stuff. This one's from Save State Corrupted. Give a dog a gavel. I wonder what that could be about This is for the amazing judge Ramas

Safe state corrupt has gone through some kind of health problem. Yes. Yeah, I gotta ask you about that. Yeah. We're not going to talk about how bad it looks not to show to your own 4Ks. If you had any hope in giving your lawyer any health, it would be good to show your face. This ramshack of affair will be your cross to spare. Greenberg accepts up to play with Stereo's and an ear-shrong levels of sexy. If you know his master, Ash Tate,

he's brought to a case this semester, and then comes along the now-so-for-dog. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- Together! Till bark and why? We have a dog and a gammal! So green-fitter states is case-everlessly having to explain what a cut case would form. When the judge turns the land DIY and figure out the root of this defamation is formed, the dogs were now made up by a certain someone. The judge isn't buying any of land you eyes motions or dodges So judges questions are directed clear, but the dog has no logic

After enough is this bullshit the dog is ordered to sit Oh, that was great. Put them down. He saw his red pages and made them bluesy and skittin' While final's playing a function of sparser payments. Was there a breach? Was there a fucking breach? Let's begin. Speak out of line. Give a dog a gamble. Feel pork and wine.

Give a dog a gamble. It's catchy. It's great. It's a dog and a gamble. Like a dog. Yeah, but it's a gamble. It's a dog and a gamble. All right.

All right. All right. All right. Check that out. Check that out on the site. That was excellent. You know, I want to do a New York road rage and have all of the lawyers there. That'd be great, even Landau.

Oh, it made me think about it. Yeah, yeah. I mean, he, right, that guy can't have any shame or scruples. No, all you can drink, open bar. Yeah. But you got to take, all you can drink, open bar. But you got to take, I'll get you a limo, I'll get land out of a car, town car, you know, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no he lives from whatever dog house he lives into the venue. And he has to sit on the floor. He's not allowed on the seats. Oh no, not allowed at the table.

No, not in the furniture. No, exactly. Not only in Dow, you can sit in a chair, open bar. Yeah, open bar. You just have to take the town car to and from the venue. I'm not gonna be responsible for any drum driveery, you know, for any asmatic or asmatic related interlock device feelings. That'd be fun though.

It would be. People could throw eggs at him. Yeah. Oh, I gotta tell, don't bring any eggs, throw it the guy, or bring it to me, though. Don't bring that shit, don't do it. Bring a, bring squirt bottles. Cinder blocks, he starts going off.

Like, you just, no. No, no. What if Mad Cux just shows up to Dallas with like a Yorkie that's like his lawyer now? Landown shows up? No, Mad Cux. Oh, Mad Cux. I shows up with a dog.

Oh God, that's funny. Like a triumph or an actual dog. Yeah. Put some peanut butter on his mouth and he like, not, not, not, not, not. Mad Cux talks for him. Yeah. That'd be funny.

That's funny. A YouTube series of Land Out of the Dog. Oh, God. Not, not, not, not, not, not. Just make him talk. Here you have a room. Somebody send Mad Cucks a Yorkie, please. It's priority shipping.

It'll make it. They're more durable than they look. Oh God, peatually laid into a stereosis ex-wife. I don't know. That's too much. Okay, this is too much. It's too much. All right, let me see if I'll get to some advice. How about that? Yeah. Has Maddox made any statements regarding the lawsuit or the... Nothing. Nothing. I mean, he's gonna have to.

You can't let a guy get his job get taken away and not do anything about it. I don't know how much of the counter suit I'm gonna pay for, but it's not gonna be small amount. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was wondering, because I need it. I need that to be sued for.

Oh, no, I know. It's fucking bullshit. Oh, I know. No, if there's one thing that is very satisfying to me, it's revenge. Yeah. It really is. Like, I'm a fucking, I'm a petty fuck.

I would put it on credit cards. Like, no, it's absolutely, I know that motherfucker has money, everybody. Because I want to see bad things happen to bad people. I just do. I like it when the world gives you what's coming to you. And it's not a fairy tale anymore. Like it is when you're a child.

Like, now you just have to use money for it. And that's not a fairy tale anymore. Like it is when you're a child. Like now you just have to use money for it. And that's fine. I'm not doing anything with my bio-licker. Yeah. Cause it's both of them too. It's mental chess too. Oh, I know. Oh, I know.

Maybe that other fuck that was involved as well. He signed an affidavit saying he was similarly contacted. Maybe. And people might was similarly contacted. Maybe. And people might know shit too. Yeah. Ruck might know something. Need to depose that fucker.

So if we can knock some of the wind out of his hair, he's gonna get long enough to answer some questions that I haven't seen this hair. I might, it's, what do you mean you haven't seen his hair? You know, I'm first. He had like a, basically like a shaved head when I knew him. Oh, I thought he had that stupid millennial thought leader. No, he's got old all haircut.

No, no, no, no, no. Oh, he doesn't have that? Not when I knew him. Oh, what is he had? If he shaved head? Got that size? Or the shaved head? What's he trying to do?

Oh, no, it was, yeah, it was, it was, it was real short. You know, I got to tell you what else makes me a rage this week. I'm leaving too many of these behind. What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted?

What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted?

What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? What's your name, Ted? She came back to the US. Oh yeah. Whatever reason. Oh, okay. And we, I, man, I get out of the desert for a week, get back, get into the sky's apartment,

hop in the shower, pull off the towel. It's just, it's just mildewing hell, Sean. Just wreath. I hate to, I hate to put them on blast like this, but it's, you can't, like it's the mildew. It's like when you, everybody tries to push the towel for one more use, you know? Yeah. You just gotta, just get rid of it.

You don't need one more use out of that because you put it on your hands and it sinks into your soul. And then you just, you wreak like fungus for the rest of your life until that skin goes away till you get all the way off. Sells are all replaced in seven years.

The milled the milledew on the towels. I'm just gonna I'm gonna start I'm just gonna start burning them because then you you think it in your mind Every time you use that towel Not great. This is the milledew one. Yeah, they're all ruined. So, as soon as you get it once, you throw it the fuck away. Like, one use, that's what we got to go to, one use talent anyway. All right. Here's some advice, vice questions. Hey, Dick, I know you're going through something similar with coach.

So, I thought you might be able to give me some advice. I really only have two friends and both of them recently had children. At first, we made a point to talk regularly and see each other whenever we could. However, that seldom happens anymore. Yeah. That's like he's going through a breakup. I realize they're both moving into new chapters of their lives and that's fine. However, I still need male companionship in my life. I feel as if the only one I socialize with now is my girlfriend. Ooh, that's trouble, my friend. Your only friend is your girlfriend that's giving her too much power.

That relationship is not going to function if she's your only friend. Then she'll, because then she, you know, then you got two people answering questions. You got the girlfriend giving girlfriend advice, but then your friend is also giving you girlfriend advice. That'll fuck up your brain. We all met nearly a decade ago when we were much younger at a job. They both gotten better work since then. I'm still here. Uh-oh.

It's general labor. It's a general labor kind of job. So it attracts young people who are schooling. I'm still on the right side of 30, but not for much longer. Needless to say, I have difficulty making new friends in the workplace because of the generational gap. And I find it's more difficult to find common ground the older I get. So that's where I'm at. My old friends are all gone and finding new friends is a herculean task.

Well, I wouldn't know what to start where to start. Your advice has helped me countless times in the past with women. But where do I even begin with friends? Any way, congrats with the lawsuit. We all know you'd win, but we're definitely getting anxious leading up to the court case and serially blast Johnson. I mean, it doesn't, after this hysteria shit,

it doesn't feel like a win. Yeah. That's bad news. I don't know, what do you think? I think you got a kind of abandoned the concept of friends. You get older, right? Like you can't keep. Well, yeah, I mean, I don't know.

It's different. I think it's different, but. I'm not sure that abandoned is the right word, but definitely tweak it. Like, I mean. You gotta realize certain things. Yeah, most of my friends are either in this room or like guys that I see at the gym, right?

Like the two or three guys I talk to with gym and food squats, or whatever. Yeah, that's a friend. Yeah, right? Like the two or three guys I talked to with Jim and Fune Squatsets or whatever. Yeah, that's his friend. Yeah, I don't even know their last names. Yeah, I don't know their phone numbers. I just know I see him like two or three times a week. Yeah, how you doing? Okay, cool.

Great. Good to see you, Charlie. And then nice glutes. Yeah, nice glutes. Pretty much. Yeah, them slutes are gonna be going crazy for them glutes. And yeah, bartenders. Bartenders should be yeah, bartenders. Bartenders should do your new friend.

Bartenders, yeah. You gotta adjust what being a friend means. Cause they're gone. I don't think that's a real thing after. I don't feel a need for male companionship. Yeah, f-aids. F-aids quickly. Yeah.

That's nice. That's nice when it's there. Don't be going out of your way. You know? Yeah. Maybe is that just me? No, no. I think that's normal.

Well, you're talking to the guy who's the worst at like keeping up relationships in general. Yeah. So, I mean, I'm, I'm, look, on the far end of life is about distance. That's what you want. As you get older, you got to put distance and walls between you and the people you love.

You love. That's it. Yeah. You want to, when you die, when you hit a hundred or whatever, it's you and a cave with no possessions, like Luke Skywalker on another planet preferably. Oh man. or whatever, it's you and a cave with no possessions, like Luke Skywalker, on another planet preferably. Oh man, that's one of the Mormons have it.

So when you die, you get your own fucking planet. If you recruit a lot of them, yeah. Sign me up, cause I'm sick of sharing my planet with these other motherfuckers. Anybody. Yeah, I want, I want like, you know, a hundred thousand walls in between me and the next closest person, just me and a cave

and my space rock. I want a fake planet, I'm good. I need two planets, I'm gonna put a, I live here on that planet and then I'm gonna blow it up if something tries to come visit me. Yeah, I'm gonna have this whole fucking planet. What are you gonna do? Nothing, sit at home. I don't need to see this stupid shit on this planet

That's the difference ice over there ocean over there seeing it not a big deal Yeah, you're you're going don't don't be chasing don't be chasing the past blast Just embrace it embrace it. You got to do some serious thinking Fuck up your facial hair man Embrace it, you gotta do some serious thinking. Fuck up your facial hair. Man. Yeah, that's what the Mormon's got. What about those 72?

What's the version situation when you get to your Mormon planet? None. Not one. They're all fucking sluts. I'll just... I'll just... Hey man, here's something else weird about Israel and why it's not why we need a lower

designation of first world countries. Yeah. A zero with world countries. Right. It went to a strip club there. You did? Yes. Not in my proudest moment.

Okay. The stage is five feet in the air. Yeah. Like a like a concert. Yeah. And you concert. Yeah. And you're like they've got weird McDonald's booths that you sit in like formaldehyde or nagahyde booths. The kind that's just squeak with every move you make.

Like, and you slide down and they're made for men whose legs are about six inches, whose distance between their pelvis and their knees are about 12 inches. Yeah, you know? Right. So you're like sitting in a church. And then the stage is so high,

you need like a mirror on a stick to see what's going on. They're all the fuck they're doing. That's my point. Like, come on guys. With the strippers at least, huh? No. So in Israel, like all the chicks are hot, we if they have real jobs like IDF or police

or anything else, the strippers are fucking goblins. Yeah, strippers goblins. No, well, because they're imports. Oh, okay. Anyway, there you go. Let's see, let's see if we get another advice. Anonymous. Hey, I don't have a plan for this email.

I don't know if you'll get it soon. What do you mean you don't, what? I don't know. I'm skipping that part. I don't know if you'll get it soon. I'm 21. But you don't know when you're gonna send it? I feel horrible and I need someone to brain dump too.

That's, yeah. He's in a rough spot, Ben. That makes no sense. 21 and brain dump. Yeah, all right. I'm 21. I've never been in a rough spot then. That makes no sense. 21 and brain dump. Yeah, all right. I'm 21, I've never been in a relationship in my life. Never even done as much as been on a date. But I've been talking to this girl for a month or two now.

Just turned, she just turned 19, petite, 32 G's. What the, how do you know that? Well, I guess you've been talking, probably talking on the internet, right? Oversharing. 32 Gs. It's like the size of that head. So as you wild, man.

Met on Tinder, which I know isn't normal for relationships, but things just went in that direction. We've been talking and Snapchatting non-stop since the first message, man, and you were getting nothing out of it. We're not a couple dates, Things were going really well, good. Second date, I want to talk to this Russian guy, Burning Man, he was in our camp, and he was working on his English with us.

And he's like, oh, I want to learn more English. I want to work on my English. So let me know if I don't speak good. Yeah. And I said, it's speak good. Yeah. And I said it's speak well. Yeah. And he goes, thank you. I can see him getting pissed like, okay, that's not me. That's one. Yeah. That is what I asked for. I guess for, not so quick, like looking at me, like, relax on the button, asshole.

Well, and then I looked at my man, like, no, that's not fucking right, just sound like an idiot. It's speak well. Okay, I get it, I see what you're about. Second day, I had her over, we covered, we cuddled and it was one of the best nights of my life.

We've talked a lot about how good it was. At some point we decide we would see other people. We weren't really officially there. It was unofficially official. I wanted to start it off in person. No, no, I gotta, here we go, no. Here goes the Pope boy. No, I wanna start it off in person.

No, don't save anything. Don't ever save anything. Never, the second you get some kind of an expectation in your mind, you're fucked. The whole thing is fucked. And the second it's in there, get it out. It's a poison. Then after the second day's in there get it out. It's a poison.

Then after the second day, we kept making plans but stuff kept coming up, sickness, family, emergencies, work, et cetera. I haven't seen her all of May, even though we talked nonstop and even said we love each other. Is there really this thing? Oh. Oh, it's because, I mean, we heard about the tits. That's why they know that they know why you're saying

They know that you don't love them. I love you Both I mean all three I mean you just the one did you write her song? Would you no? We were supposed we were supposed to finally meet up this Monday after she got back from a trip with her friends They had planned a while back to go to to go bar hopping in a town several hours away Well, I think we know what happened here Since she just turned 19. I think it was a first for her this morning I woke up and had her admit to me she made out with a guy last night while super drunk

No sex was involved. Oh There you go sounds like a pattern. Yeah. Now she's Snapchatting with him all day. No, this overseas. I must be 19 as legal's rink image. No sex was involved, but she did imply he did other things. I asked for details. Good. It's Finger action. Yeah, I mean, yeah, could be. Bam, blammo. Other things. And I've been a wreck all day.

Oh, sorry, buddy. It was her first time really getting wasted. So I'm willing to brush this one off. Oh, my God. But it really fucking hurts. I mean, she feels really bad about it. No, she doesn't.

And even the fact that she let me know, must mean something. Yeah, it means that she's terrible. If she loved you, she would have not told you about it. That's how a fucking, that's how it's fucking works. That's how the women work. If they care about you, they do the one thing they can't ever do, which is shut the fuck up!

If you let's very simple. You know, I just got to tell you that I got really drunk and I made out with a guy and the reason I'm telling you is because I love you so much. Wrong, fucking wrong. If you loved me at all, you wouldn't have said anything. And I could have lived the rest of my life in the ignorant bliss, but you just could you're compelled to tell me there's no reason why No reason why you had to do this to me Because you love yourself. That's why you said it. That's why you were honest every fucking time It's because you love yourself so much that you can't sit on that guilt and you decide to Reach into my body

Take out my heart and put it where yours is supposed to be you fucking bitch That's why you told me don't ever don't ever be honest because you love someone because it's a fucking lie Oh god She feels really bad about it I love someone because it's a fucking lie. Oh God. She feels really bad about it. Yeah, even the fact that she let me know must mean something. It means everything I just said. But I don't wanna leave her. I just got huge tits.

What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? This is not a relationship. What do they do? What do you mean leave her? Like I thought that we're talking about data, seeing other people and they've never did anything

except text. I also got it. They cut it on one night. I also got a couple birthday gifts for her in my apartment, because her birthday was earlier, but I wasn't able to be there for it. How long has this been going on? It's a couple of months, apparently, two months.

This is not a relationship. I was planning on giving it to her on Monday, which was when we were also supposed to go official. Whoa, you gotta, uh, you are not, you are planning a wedding here. Officially, official, what? Officially together. Yeah, uh, uh, yeah.

You see, Sean, once you, once you both together say that it's official, no one will just go get drunk and get finger blasted by guys. No. Cause it's like a magic fucking word. That's, that's why that come, word. That's why, that come, that it's a word that you say like a magician, like a fucking wizard that fundamentally

changes brain chemistry so that you don't have to be worried about shit anymore. No matter that, that's what's happening here. That's what's happening with all the kids. So I think that's, it doesn't fucking matter. I think that's actually more common than we realize after college before law school

was actually still. Could be, I don't know, or maybe people are fucking weird. It was like that back then too. What, when you were back when we were kids. Have you announced to like what your group of friends or something like? I was dating this girl for about a month.

Great girl. Well, no, she was nuts, but she had big tits. Not nearly that big though. Not nearly that big though. And we dated for maybe a month and a half before she just up, turning my text wouldn't return my calls. This would back in the days when you still called women instead of texting them. And then I ran into her. They took less time. Yeah. It seems like it would be a nightmare to have used the phone to talk to girls. it took way less time. Yeah.

Because then you could not think about it for the rest of the day. Right. Exactly. Instead of having to, well, instead of being constantly, Johnny jokes on spot A. Yeah. But about this one, then I ran into her like a month and a half, two months after she stopped turning my text at the meltdown, that comic shop. And I said, hey, so what happened?

How can you just stop, how come we're not together anymore? Oh, well, you never officially asked me to be your girlfriend. Is this fucking seventh grade? What do you mean I have to officially ask you to be my girlfriend? But evidently, that's just something that some people have that expectation from.

No, they use language to fuck with you. Oh, okay. They use it to exert, get a fucking flathead. That's the whole time. Yeah, just like this. They use language to fuck with you. They use it to exert and fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking

fucking fucking fucking girlfriend now. Well, I got news for you. Nothing has changed. Nothing, nothing, whatever she was going to do before now, still going to do. It's just a fucking word. I'm glad he said it. I almost went out and got finger-blasted by a random guy. Yeah, she said it was a close one. Oh, I'm sorry, buddy, but it's very, you can't, I don't want you to play yourself. Man, it's been too much fucking time texting, having pretend relationships with people and I'm being surprised when a very small amount of brain chemistry in the real world undoes all of the word thinking that you've been doing right for months.

None of that shit matters. It's one tiny dose of reality. We'll fix all the fucking pretending that you've ever done. Yeah, if you make one recommendation quickly. Sure. So, this guy, it sounds like he's only texting this one girl, and he imagined that she's only texting him. Yeah.

And a girl, I I mean any girl, but especially a girl who has these giant tits and a deep body, she's texting at least 15 other guys right now. Really? Oh, probably. At least three. So he needs to be texting at least three other girls at the same time. Just to keep his mind occupied,

that's what he needs to do to break that one-eyedist spell over. Yeah. I need to probably knock her up. I'll stop. Yeah, that'll stop the shit from acting. Okay. Let me see if, uh, let me see if I got, I got some Reddit comments. So we're going to do, I got Antoyd's is calling in. We'll do some voicemail.

Yeah. What time is it? 12, 30? It's pretty good. Uh-huh. Red Raid. Sean Galt says, what made me, what made me, what made me a rage this week is Goss overlap between the lawsuit, the IRC,

I guess IRC got shut down for some, it moved. It did? Yeah, it moved to a dark science that net. I see. Stereo's is X, Y, God knows what else. There's too much Goss for Dicta Raid about before it goes stale. And the firing is, or firing is no longer working there.

Pretty big. Yeah. Cuban Pete, people on the freeway who constantly tap their brakes for no reason, hey, fuckface, there's in that much traffic. If you need a 30 car following distance, just slow the fuck down and quit tapping your brakes incessantly.

Some people drive two footed too. I do, it's cool. Yeah, you tap your brakes. It's fun, you get an ab workout. I like to sit in it. You hold your feet up, right? I hold my feet up and off of both pedals. And then I try not to touch the wheel

because I want my core to stay engaged. I call it car lotdies. Something I get. It's pretty good. Gas and foot, try it. Try it next time you're driving. You're doing like many tiny bicycle things. Yeah, and then you only tap the wheel

when you want to change course. You don't want to rest your slumpy, you could get carpal tunnel if you rest your hands in the wheel like that. You could just hold them up, tap, tap, tap, tap. You know, like your wax on, wax off kind of thing. Like you're keeping a pizza in there. And then you just tap the brakes, tap the right foot.

That's why I look so fit. Yeah, true. That's a trend. Carlotties. I like it. The reckoning, my girlfriend gained weight over last year. I don't want to leave her. So you have to say that's the first thing I always say when I don't want to leave

somebody. They have to. Here's my girlfriend. I don't hate her subconsciously. Kiver and eating disorder. Yeah. I also don't want to fuck her. Oh, man. We can't. What's that? How much weight must she must have gained? I mean, 5, 10 pounds, what are we talking about here? Is there a mountain? Can you gain more than that in a summer? Another year? Shit, I don't know.

She got pregnant or something, but I... It's probably what it is. Yeah, I'm sure that's what it is. Yeah, she went on birth control for him, and now she's going under hormonal changes to making her gain weight. How fat does your girlfriend have to get before you don't want to fuck her anymore?

Because it sounds like it has to be pretty fat. How fat, maybe 15 pounds? Ha ha ha. An addition and like a baseline, maybe 20. That's, you look different. 20 pounds. I don't know how do you subtly give someone an eating disorder, get a bunch of blestra chips? I don't know how do you subtly give someone an eating disorder,

get a bunch of ballastro chips? I don't even, they don't even sell these. Yeah, that are every time she eats. I don't think that's gonna work. Just like put on a scary costume and jump out, dress like ready-cruc. Squirt bottle. Squirt bottle, yeah.

Every time she reaches for something. They've all got to have their like, their vice, right? Like their like cupcakes or Doritos or something? Oh yeah. Every time they open up, you got a booby trap them. Right. Put like a booby trap in every snack. Yeah.

Sometimes she opens it up. Ah! Give her can of peanut, brittle just snakes. Yeah. That had everything. I've read you some McDonald's and then you open it in that that bank money that explodes and gets the stuff all over the bank money.

Yeah, yeah, I don't know. It's all over the fries, fucks it up. Yeah, I think that's the solution form right there. Or go through your, go through your closet and replace all of the clothes with plus size versions of the clothes. Oh, yeah. I'm just gonna put some on. I was like, what the hell?

Or the other way, do you go? Yeah, you make them smaller, but the next time you're a target or whatever, you say, oh, no, honey, I think we should go over to this part. Yeah. Oh boy. Then you get a yelling. But point made right, right. Bob, bad, Bob, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a Boba, bad, Boba, Gad Boba Ghanouche over apologizers, thinkers worked with someone who will over apologize for doing something kind of wrong

or excessively thank me for doing things for them that I'm supposed to, that doesn't matter in the long run. Yeah, that's like, stay the fuck away from apologizers. People just apologize compulsively. Yeah, they have huge, fucking mental problems. Yeah, like you remember what did you do?

Yeah, like what, what did you have done? That's so bad. It's never enough that you accept it. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. It's fine. Sorry, I'm sorry. Give me attention.

Give me attention. Fuck off. Jackpot for you, that you gotta apologize for something. Let's do one more. Alex Olson says, you're be more fuckable contest has gotten me to diet for the first time in my life. I've lost 70 pounds since the contest started and I've realized that dieting isn't actually hard at all.

So I'm going to continue after the contest. Wow, that's excellent. That's an incredible seven good rounds. It's a lot of weight. Rob Goldie by the way, congrats on the lawsuit. I was elated when I heard the news. I'm still rock hard. Wonderful. The latest episode where you talk about the shit show that his Maddox's family made me remember the first time he called your family dysfunctional. I remember that was weird. What was up with that? You seem genuinely blindsided by it. Every family has their quirks.

Your family seems really normal. Hell if I raise my voice half as well as your parents raise. Do you wanna be a proud father? Yeah, I think Maddox just said things on the old show that he thought would be funny. Like he got nervous, because he made a ton of gay jokes and like sexual jokes,

which seems like a nervous thing to do. Could be. And he probably wanted to make his own family seem normal to his heads. So it was like the first thing he thought of is like, everybody must have a fucked up family. Like, here, I'll roast you for this, but it's not, it's just not true. Like when you're 13 years old and you're talking with your friends in front of a girl for the first time and everybody turns into like the biggest asshole they've ever been

in their life, that was what that show was for him, I think, to some degree. You've never been this funny in your life, you fucker. Yeah, you never even tried. Yeah, and you suck at it. Doing it now. Okay, let me talk to... Hey, Antoids, are you there? Yeah, what's up?

What's up, man? This is the guy, Antoids, who has taken a super cut of every cut Maddox made to the old shows. I've been releasing them 10 at a time every Thursday at uncuck.dickshow.com. Yeah, fuck you for picking 10 at a time, man. Jesus. Yeah. No.

We thought about that after week one, right? Yeah, that's a lot to go through. That's a lot, but I just didn't want it to be floating around for a whole year. Yeah. No, I mean, I get it. I get it. Five seems like two little.

One is way too little. One is stupid. It's just milking it. Ten seemed like a good amount. Because they're only an hour long. Yeah, they're... Yeah, only. Hour to an hour, 15 or so.

I figured at least in every 10, it's like the show changes significantly every 10 episodes. I thought. So there would at least be one big gem, like one very funny cut in at least every 10. The last thing you want is a segment where there's nothing funny to talk about. Yeah, totally, totally. Yeah. So thank you so much for doing the cuts.

There, you pull out like an hour's worth of previously unheard audio. Wow, that's amazing. Well, you should really be thinking Maddox because he is absolutely obsessive about that shit. Like, I don't know. That's the right word for it, I guess. Yeah.

Obsessive, yeah. Yeah. I don't know what he's thinking sometimes because, you know, when he first starts, he edits out like a third of a second of silence a hundred times in an episode. Yeah. But lately, he's been inserting silence, which is even weirder to me. Yeah, he said he did that. He went through a phase where he said he was inserting silence to make the conversation flow better.

Yeah. But it's a conversation. It already flows like a natural conversation. You try to insert like comedic timing or something where, you know, what's some of the worst or what's some of the most interesting or weirdest edits you've seen so far? Like you write a recap every week where you you summarize the big edits. He goes on. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah. His, um, his pathology behind some of the edits is what I find really interesting. Cause I mean, first of all, I think as everybody knows, he edits it to make himself sound better. Yeah. So he'll, he'll edit out jokes that bomb or. Oh, really? Oh, absolutely. Like, um, it's kind of hard for me to think of an example off top of my head,

but like, when you had that guy who does the ghost jokes on Twitter, he tried to pull out some ghost jokes and they were just nobody in the room laughed. Yeah. So that got cut. That was a good like 20 seconds of two jokes by him were just nobody in the room laughed. Yeah. So that got cut. That was a good like 20 seconds of two jokes by end that just never were seen again. Now I got to go back and listen to those jokes.

What he doesn't understand is that leaving that kind of stuff in is endearing. Like it humanizes you. Yeah. I 100% agree. Like the thing that you've got going on on this show is that you feel genuine. And I think that people really respond to that. I watch a Peach's boyfriend show, and that's the same thing that appeals to me about them,

is that they just feel like regular guys. What show is that? The one that Peach is on? Two best friends play. Two best friends play. I really like those guys. I have a good, it's fun. It's great to just like watch a game.

I feel like such a relief that I don't have to pay attention or think about these video games anymore that they play. Cause they beat them like, oh, good. I don't know how to waste my fucking life doing that. You also found some arguments cut out. That I thought was really interesting to you. Yeah. some arguments cut out. That I thought was really interesting to you. Yeah. Like, so he will do this thing where he'll make a claim,

and then you'll say, like, well, that's not how that works. Like, scientifically, like, I've read a study that says that it's the opposite. Like the honey thing from the last set. The honey thing. He eats the last set the honey thing he eats honey because he thinks that it cures his seasonal allergies do you remember that

show when i brought in hay fever maddox said that you have to eat honey and it cures allergies because it exposes you it like the stupid thought process was it exposes you to pollen and then that makes you care that's what he thought I thought like honey had some like mild like antiseptic properties. No, he thought for sure that it was because of the pollen. Like it does have those properties, like they you they put it on open wounds

to disinfect it and stuff. Like yeah, it it it's useful for a lot of stuff. It's delicious. Just not cure a case here. Yeah, it's like here. So he yeah episode he cut out for the expression of conversation from one episode.

14 minutes of honey. Yeah, it's all about him defending eating honey and you saying like, no, Maddox, it doesn't work like that. Like you don't, there's no pollen in honey. Like it doesn't, there's no and. Be vomit. Sorry. I'm starting. Please, please

cut out my stuttering and then let somebody make a super How bad is the stuttering? Oh my god, dude there is Minutes and minutes of stuttering in each episode and he doesn't even cut out all of it because he can't cut it out And you're talking at the same time and make it natural and I've already cut out a lot if it's really bad I cut it out if you're talking at the same time and make it natural. Well, and I've already cut out a lot. If it's really bad, I cut it. I never, I didn't want anybody to, to, to sound stupid or like they couldn't put a thought together. So it's all that stuff was all like they can't read.

They're like, they have like a learning, like they can't physically read off a paper. The reading, yeah, he, yeah, he, yeah. Like if Maddox had to read one page of singles spaced paper, if he could do it without stuttering, I would give him one million dollars and he can't do it. Yeah. Yeah. He really should have trusted Sean a little bit more because what I find really funny is when he does edits the way that he does, he has Sean edited and compressed it one time and then he compresses it again to upload it, which is just going to fuck up the quality. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. He pulls it in and, you know,

I don't know this arguments about that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. How not to recompress MP3 files because it's already been, well, I would, I would just upload a wave. I'd just upload a full res file. So, thank God you never uploaded all the separate tracks. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That would have been the last episode. Is it would never would have been edited? Yeah, yeah. Anyway, Antoids, you sent me a couple examples from this week.

I wanna make sure I play the right one. Yeah, I mean, it's up to you what you think is more interesting. I think that the Zimmerman one is the juiciest one, the first one that I've said. Yeah. There's a Zimmerman cut. Yeah, you go all the way to the top of the message I sent you. Okay. Zimmerman cut. Yeah. Alright. Zimmerman uncut. Is that what you want me to listen to put on? Yeah, put that one on and then play theed one after. Okay. I love these so much. So he takes, Antoids takes all of the cuts and then he visually

shows them so you can see what was missing, what was cut from the version that you did. Yeah. I just really took a look. I want to say thanks to Desert Flood who did the first set of it because I wouldn't have done it if he hadn't figured out a good way to do it and told me what he did. Totally. All right, so this is a conversation we're having about George Zimmerman. You know, everyone remembers him, the hero from... Yeah, just to give it a little context, he was talking about some guy who shot up a black church, and he was saying that the guy took inspiration from George Zimmerman, but he spent like half of his argument just talking

about Zimmerman, which I thought was weird. Okay. Do you have the volume? Yeah. Okay, here you go. You can't stop them because you're not a fucking cop. Fuck off. So of course he agitated this kid.

Oh man. I really don't know if I can, like I think that's really easy to say, but if you got some, I don't know, I don't know what, I wasn't there. I don't know what the kid looked like, but if I see, I can imagine a scenario where I see some skiszy guy skulking around my house

in an affluent neighborhood who doesn't look like he belongs there, and looks like he's doing something. I don't know what, I don't know. He was talking about this situation. He was talking with skittles in his pocket. Yeah, but look, I'm just saying, it's not crazy to confront someone who doesn't, who's looks like they're up to no good. Not in this case, maybe that didn't happen, but if I can't just say, never confront anybody.

What was he doing that made him look up to no good? He's already not allowed how to use situation. Well, that's just a situation we're talking about, Dick. Okay, well then whatever they concluded in this then. I'm not going to say what you do. There's nothing wrong with that. But I don't know what happened after that. Well, what happened after that is that the kid got

into confrontation with this guy. Do I always sound that squeaky? Okay, so it's on this. I got a question for you real quick. So from what Dick said in that conversation, do you think that he agrees with Maddox or he disagrees? What he's saying in that is that it's not a black and white thing. Right, so I would say there are many areas. Do you think I disagree with Maddox or agree with him?

Based on what it was. What was Maddox even, his, what was his initial question? Okay, so let me put it another way. You always got to make it fucking complicated, you know. Do you think that that was a blanket endorsement of what Maddox was saying? Of what Maddox was saying, a blanket endorsement? What was it, excuse me, let me try to rephrase this.

Did it sound like there was a point of contention that we disagreed on in that? Well, it sounded like it, yeah. Yeah, okay. Okay, I think that's what you're asking. Now, play the cucked version. All right. Oh, I got a bad feeling about this.

So this, Sean, that was what you submitted. Okay. This is what got published. Yeah. And it doesn't matter if they're black or wearing a hoodie and they look sinister to you, Dickhead, but you can't stop them because you're not a fucking cop. Fuck off.

Yeah. What happened after that is a big guy. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Are you fucking Yeah, no idea. I have no idea where that yeah even came from. I don't think it's the same episode It definitely didn't come out of that cut section What there's a There's just a yeah floating around that he would paste and do agree with how much What the fuck I know? I gotta play that again. And it doesn't matter if they're black or wearing a hoodie and they look sinister to you, Dickhead,

but you can't stop them because you're not a fucking cop. Fuck off. Yeah. What? That's what she's talking about. That's what she's talking about. Yeah. Sean, listen to this edit.

Just listen to the fucking, listen to the edit after the yeah. And it doesn't matter if they're black or wearing a hoodie Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Yeah, what happened now? This is what we put out into the world. There's horrible. That was chopped together, Frankenstein, Monster. I know, yeah. Where my fucking voice is my passport. That was good conversation. Like it's because I, he was missing,

he was taking one thing very literally. He got tunnel vision and it was like, he took that as you saying. Well, because you know what, he should have shot that kid. Yeah, because he's the greatest of black people. You might as well be describing every single thing Maddox has ever done on that show. I can't believe that.

That's the way that he argued. I can't believe that got turned into, yeah. I gotta hear the original again. So, I wanna put out, I'm putting out a five dollar bounty if you can find the source of that. Yeah, five bucks. Okay. I'll pay that. I'll pay that. Okay. It was probably in that episode somewhere. I mean, I couldn't find it. No, no, no, because what if what if that was like his tool that he just had Maddox had a bunch yes. He would have, he would have come up with that strategy much earlier.

No, sure, but you must have had, but it's not that hard to find you saying, yeah. Why find it twice? If you've already found it, yeah. Why pull it from another one? You know what? You know what? You're totally right.

Like fucking Lennie Kravitz, right? That's what, that's me. I think that fucking song. You're not a flyer. Fly away as such a piece of shit. He's such a piece of shit. He's such a piece of shit artist who why he just he's all style no substance. No, I mean, I'm a linear cravit. He's he's such a yeah, he sucks. He gives a positive message about American women staying away

from me. So that's a public service announcement. Leningrad Vets is an MRA hero. God damn. Oh, okay. Yeah., so Maddox just, this is par for the court. This is the first time that he's edited in Dixing stuff. But he'll end it in bad points all the time. Like any time Dix starts making too much sense,

he gets cut out. I can't believe that. That's, I'm so glad I never listened to Maddox's edits of the show. I would have lost my fucking mind at that. So that, yeah. George Emmering's basically a raisin. Yeah.

He didn't even really need you on the show. Like, I'm surprised you came back. He could have just had a little soundboard for you. It's like the, it's like the F uh, Fimbot or whatever episode on the future, um, it's like, I love you. Phil of J. Fry. Memory deleted. Yeah.

Uh, okay. Here's the uncucked version that you can listen to and uncucked out the dick show. God. You can't stop them because you're not a fucking cop. Fuck off. So of course he agitated this kid. Oh man. I really don't know if I can,

like I think that's really easy to say, but if you got some, I don't know, I don't know what, I wasn't there. I don't know what the kid looked like, but if I see, I can imagine a scenario, all right, see some skis. He's already decided that you were like,

you know what you should shut that kid in my house in an affluent neighborhood who doesn't look like he belongs there. Yeah. And looks like he's doing something. I don't know what, I don't know. He was walking around the last question. You're watching them get all the time.

You're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like,

you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like,

you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, Never confront anybody. What was he doing that made him look up to no good dick? You don't know about this situation. I'm just saying you're talking about dick. Okay, well then whatever they concluded in this. Yeah. Well, you know, up to somebody and say, what are you doing? There's something wrong with that.

But I don't know what happened after that. Well, what happened after that is that the kid got into confrontation with this guy. Okay, here's the cut one. And it doesn't matter if they're black or wearing a hoodie and they look sinister to you, Dickhead, but you can't stop them because you're not a fucking cop. Fuck off.

Yeah. What happened after that? It was like, you've done everything with this guy. He doesn't even sound like he sounds all defeated after the, God, what a fucking idiot. Right, yeah, and it totally, he does that all the time. Where the tone of the conversation will change as a result of the death. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Like because he'll move stuff around. Mrs. The humanity did that in 17. Oh, yeah. No, he's not, he's not good at feeling human. I think I mean, I can, there were times where I could remember where he was like, he was, he was so waiting for his turn to talk and you were kind of, you were kind of shooting little nuanced arguments kind of back at him and you can, you can kind of feel him trying to deflect those off while he just barrels forward with what he's trying to say and sort of steer

it back to making his point. It was, it's content for the ages. George Zimmerman is wrong. Like, okay, well, is there a bigger conversation about, you know, maybe confronting people in this weird society that we've built where you can't interact with one another without it being fatal? Yeah. Yeah.

Something like that. I don't know if you want to play the other one. It's like two minutes long, but he cuts the second Zimmerman one. He cuts out saying, he says like, oh, yeah. So these people are all racist who just, you know, who are uncomfortable with black people, and they agree with George Zimmerman like you, Dick. And you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, don't, don't compare me to that. Which one is it?

That's Zimmerman too. It's all the way at the bottom. Okay. Oh my god, that's a big haul. He does that all the time. Like I didn't cut it out because it's from before but with Vine Stars, he talks about like, oh yeah, this one Vine Stars are rapists, which is wrong. And you're saying like, yeah, I don't know if all of them are like that like that doubt And he just he's like he pushes that point like three or four times in the episode and you're like no Like I don't condone getting raped like Obviously like he really tries to push that angle until you're eventually like look Don't compare me to a rapist and he finally drops it. It was that cut

Of course like every single reference to Vine Star is being rapist was cut out of that episode and he really drives that line. Okay, so this is Zimmerman too. It's funny that like neither one of us ever listened to these. No. I mean, anyone wants to listen to me at all after this shit. Yeah. I would have been going fucking insane. Well, it's his way of keeping him the the the the greatest mind on that show. Oh, absolutely. He doesn't. He's crouched in the narrative, of course. Yeah, you put it away before where you said, oh, he, he has trouble being human. And I think that that's way more thorough than relatable to been. He doesn't want to seem like he can be wrong. He doesn't want to seem like anybody can be funnier

than him, like anything like that. Yeah. He had his parents fuck them up. Yeah. I'll give you a try. I mean, I would guess. Okay, here's Zimmerman too. This is the cut.

And this is the, which I, I'll play the uncut version first. Okay. I think so, yeah. It's funnier that way. Okay. I don't think that the cut. Roof kid who shot up this black church was inspired by that guy. He started googling black on white crime

because he thought, well, what's the big deal? Just like you, Dick, he said, he looked at this case, he goes, well, I don't see me, what the fuck is that? You're defending this guy. I'm not defending him. You just said, you have no right to go up and ask someone what they're doing in your neighborhood. And I said, I could see a situation where you'd ask someone

what they're doing in your neighborhood. Okay. They seem skeasy and you've never seen them before. You think I'm George fucking Zimmer? No, no, no, no, that's not fair. I tell people that don't get involved ever. Any confrontation can lead to violence. Fuck it. So, are you saying that you should or shouldn't? What do you mean am I saying that you should or shouldn't? Absolutely. You can if you want, but... Should you or shouldn't you? Well, kind of depends on the situation.

He's missing the whole point. He's missing the whole point. He's missing the whole point. He's missing the whole point. He's missing the whole point. He's missing the whole point. He's missing the whole point. He's missing the whole point.

He's missing the whole point. He's missing the whole point. He's missing the whole point. He's missing the whole point. He's missing the whole point. He's missing the whole point. Okay. Do you think what he did was right? He killed a guy. How is that right? Okay, that's what I want to know. So this kid started building up. Oh, man.

That's right. It's really easy to reduce everything after the fact. But I don't know how he said, what are you doing here? I don't even know what we're talking about. It doesn't fucking matter. It doesn't because that's when inspired this kid dick, I'm getting I'm building a case here. Uh-huh. We're we're talking about specifically this George Zimmerman case because this kid wasn't doing anything suspicious to be confronted. The kid was walking through the neighborhood. He's allowed to walk

through the neighborhood. George Zimmerman was a dick about it and he went and started interrogating this kid when the cops told him not to. It's not his fucking job. Fuck off. It's just that simple. So this kid who shot up black church started googling this. Okay, that was that. Oh man, I don't know how we did that show for so long. Yeah, it's pretty obvious at this point listening to the uncocked versions that there was real tension. Okay, here's the, here's the,

here's the edit that everybody heard, right? This roof kid who shot up this black church was inspired by that guy. He started googling black on white crime because he thought, well, what's the big deal? So this kid who shot up this black church started googling this. Completely skipped. No input from Beck at all. Well, I imagine that's the whole show, I guess. Yeah. That's depressing.

It is depressing. All right, man. Thank you for doing these things. Yeah, you know what, no problem. Like I just, I love hearing the gossip as much as everybody else does. Yeah, that's weird. I'm weirded out by that.

Entire chunks of conversation just removed and awkwardly edited together. That's fucking cool. There's no end to it. There's really just, everything that he can edit, he does. Well, it makes you a rage, man. I'm gonna go with supermarkets. Supermarkets.

Of course, restores. Yeah, because it's never a pleasant experience to go, like top to bottom. You go and try to like, go to, well, I never have a pleasant experience. You go to the deli and you line up, say like, oh, I need to get these cuts. And a guy just doesn't give a shit,

stacks all your cheese shitty so it melts together. Like, it gets like folded in on itself. You have some crazy old 80 year old bitch bitch go up to the counter in front of you after you've been waiting and just pretend she doesn't see you, but she does. She does. She's doing nobody ever like knows where anything is. They've all got people who have been there like two months and don't know the store, which they got the signs.

got people who have been there like two months and don't know the store, which, they got the signs. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. You know, I can't just see you looking around. I can't see. No, it's the problem is that I'm just coming back from the Middle East where the supermarket is like hell.

Oh, yeah, I can, yeah, you know what? American supermarket's probably a whole lot better for a living. Where do you live? Oh, I'm in LA, I'm in LA, but like the South Bay. Okay. Yeah. You go away from supermarkets for two weeks and you were ready to lick the floor. Yeah, I can imagine.

All right, buddy. Get out of here. I see you. You'll fuck yourself. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for the very, very interesting, very interesting and weird. I got a special, I got two more people to call on. I got one very special caller who wanted to wish us a happy two-year anniversary on this,

the real milestone of the show. We celebrated, we celebrated 100, but that was obviously stupid and incorrect. So it's 104. Right. This guy thought, this guy thought by calling for the anniversary that I meant the obvious 104. Yeah. So he's calling in today. Uh, Dustin, are you there? What is up guys? How's it going? How are you? Happy Anna fucking Versailles two years. One oh four. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think you would happen? One oh four? No. No, I figured I'd get tired of it. Yeah, maybe so 10. Stop. Listen to the

episode. I'm kind of confused. No one else has been celebrating two years. Like what? Yeah, they all blew their lives. They're literally celebration. Like, what? Yeah, they all blew their loads early. Celebration. What the fuck? Yeah, it's, it's, uh, we missed you on the, on the 100 episode a lot. What do you mean?

We, while everyone called in during 100. Episode, episode 100? Yeah, everyone, that was the anniversary that everybody celebrated. Not, yeah. Oh, God. Yeah, you missed it. I had that on my calendar for 104. Oh, you mean, wait, you mean 100 was the actual celebration? This isn't the fucking celebration. No, this is just a

normal episode. As normal as I guess. Yeah. Everybody called in a 100 and Peach was here and Stereos was here. This is before we realized they dated. I feel like such a fucking idiot. I'm sorry. Oh, that's okay. Dustin, it's just nice to hear from you again. Yeah, no, it's good to be back on the show. Thanks for having me. I wish. I mean, what happened in the past year, anything, anything exciting? I mean, what happened in the past year? Anything, anything exciting? Ah, I'm not really. Pretty normal stuff. Yeah. That's my nephew's are growing up.

That's about it. I've just been, I've just been hanging out in the Facebook to be honest with you. They don't really talk about the show in there. So I know I'm familiar with what's going on. And they also don't know that I am banned from there. So they keep tagging me on shit. Yeah. Because I'm still a time man.

I'll put him to stop them from doing that. Thank you. Do you have any questions from Facebook? I know everybody misses that segment. Um, actually, there's been a lot of questions. They're all pertain to the lawsuit. I mean, are you kind of, no, I'm not talking about the lawsuit. I don't care. So, uh, one of the questions was that when you went through this entire process was obviously this had like some sort of profound mental effect on you I would think I would assume so but like what aspect of going through a 20 million dollar lawsuit hanging over your head really is the one that takes the toll like Is there one specific part of it that really affected your life in any way, shape or form besides like specifically?

There are a couple things. One of the things that struck me about it was very strange is how quickly people will distance themselves from it and not care. Like all of these fuck heads online, like Monday and Matt is a great one. Like people who make their, who make their personality, their internet-based personality

on free speech and all this shit that's become a meme to me now. Like kinda, people talk about free speech and censorship now and I just think, give me a fucking break. Like you guys are, you're just as bad as the other side promoting this outrage and then immediately stepping away from it when it doesn't directly benefit you anymore. I use Monday and Matt specifically because he was the,

he was the first one who made a video about the lawsuit saying that well, there's a lawsuit. So it must have some validity. And Maddox was a good guy. And like he came out very hard in favor of it. And then he's been a real prick about it ever since then. Like I think as, as I look more into that guy, Monday and Matt, the more I see how little respect people have for him and he's just like a leftover from gamer gate

or something like that. But it's people like him, like Chris Reagan, who could easily say, who could easily weigh in on it and it would help tremendously. Can you guys calm down about something that we can do? Who could easily weigh in on it, but they don't, because it doesn't like directly benefit them.

And everybody's been like that. A lot of most people have been like that. There's been a lot of videos of people online kind of like following it from the beginning, like just talking about it, and they all seem to side with, with Maddox. Yeah. But then since this ended, it's been like silent.

Yeah, it has. It's like, oh, fucking weird. Yeah, maybe this was just a fucking ridiculous thing that he did. Maybe he's fucking insane. That and people in my real life who were very upset and worried and then now are joking about it. Like, yeah, well, I wasn't like, I could imagine being really worried about all these possible ramifications, but it's really, it just doesn't fucking matter until it's over. And everyone will, everyone will, will try to weigh in on it and like

Everybody needs that closure immediately. Yeah, and they'll push you for it like make promises about this like a need this I feel bad so you should feel bad And you got to kind of just turn them off which is isolating, but you have to Has anybody from Maddox's circle of friends, like, I know that you used to talk about, like, there'd be like this goon squad of his boys that would kind of like, leech off of him and be around him. Has any of them ever tried to reach out and contact you or anybody from his side of the circle after the case is over, like, just saying like, Hey, man,

yeah, there's a guy who's friends with Maddox and Jess, who sent me an email about, I don't remember specifically what he was saying. I'll read it to refresh my memory, but he said that they weren't doing, well, like the feelings around the house and this is before it was decided. We're interesting. Yeah. I can't imagine they would be.

No, I can't imagine either. It must be insane. Yeah, over there. That's about the only thing. That's the only thing I can remember imagine they would be. No, I can't imagine either. It must be insane over there. That's about the only thing. That's the only thing I can remember right now. And then one last question is stood out to me. Would you rather fight one mad ex-size-loss boy or ten lawsuits, size mad exes?

I think I'm gonna end up fighting ten anyway. So, it doesn't matter. Here's a pitch for you. Okay. When you do your New York live show, let's fucking do the documentary, all proceeds going to counter suit. No, so okay, so here's the problem with the documentary.

I don't think it's, first of all, I gotta ask a lot of people for their time and exposure in a way that doesn't benefit them. Like, excuse you. Yeah, I don't think comedians like being on a documentary is funny. Every time I've seen a standup, I saw this cat Williams standup

where they cut his standup performance in with an interview with him about like standup and comedy. And the documentary part was just was ruined it. Like it ruined the entire thing because to see somebody and like sit there and talk so seriously and sadly about it, it didn't. I honestly think if you want to make a documentary do it like Kimball did and shoot the fans. Like they're way the fans who come to the show are way more

fucking interesting than what goes on behind the scenes because what goes on behind the scene is just planning. Like we're sitting there and frantically planning to get the show out. What's the real party is in the audience. That's what I think you should do. That's true. No, that's true. Yeah, like a point there. Yeah. Plus it's way easier to plan. Like I know that I know that, I know that you wanted to get all these shots for the Chicago documentary, but we just don't have, we don't have the resources to plan all that shit. Like, it kind of happens in the last minute. Yeah. And I got you. I got you. Well, that's cool. I mean, we'll figure

something out with that. I'd like to try to do something with New York once you guys have like a deep, um, that's not far from me and also. That sounds good. Maybe you can hold the mic again. I was gonna say I could hold the mic, I could bring a mic stand, I could bring a boom, we could have a boom in the shot. Okay. All right Dustin, what makes you a rage?

What makes me a rage? I don't know specifically how to describe it. Some people describe it as like ADHD, but I don't know if that's actually a real thing, but it's this thing that I have inside of me where I start a million fucking projects and finish very few. Yeah. And I'm constantly going on to the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. And I haven't even finished the thing I started previously. And that drives me fucking insane because my list of shit to do never gets any smaller

and it just keeps growing. What kind of projects do you have on this list? What's that? What kind of projects do you have on this list? Like stuff related to like family shed, stuff related to work. Like kids, you got new stuff stuff to start this one out there. Yeah, like kids stuff like that.

And then like I'll have ideas for stuff that I want to write, like like bits to pitch to the show. Yeah. Or like just like anything in your life, like projects, like starting to write things, like I started writing a book. I started writing like all this other shit. What's your book about? That was like, that was kind of like a sci-fi type nerdy thing.

But like all these projects, I always start projects and like, I'll get into something. Like, I'll get back into like magic the gathering or just some shit, right? And I'll buy, I'll spend all this fucking money, all the resources on it. And I'll play with it, I'll fuck around with it for like a week, and then I'm like on to the next thing. Yeah. resources on it. And I'll play with it. I'll fuck her out with it for like a week. And then I'm like on to the next thing. Yeah, and it's just like constantly. There's always something that's needed to entertain me or project to get lost in. And I feel like I never, never finish where I started. I don't know if anybody else ever deals with that. But that doesn't need to be finished.

It's that simple. You could just quit, walk away at any time. It doesn't matter. I said simple, you could just quit walk away at any time. It doesn't matter. Come back to it whenever you're just, you're that's life. You just die with a shitload of unfinished shit that somebody else has to throw away. That's like, there's doing the favor and tortured all before you go. Yeah, try to enjoy the journey. All right, buddy. That's what makes me rage. but thanks for having me back on us. Yeah, thank you for it. Yeah. Congratulations. See you. Thank you.

Thank you. I'll miss that guy. Good to hear from him again. Yeah. All right, everybody. This is Mddickshow, patreon.com slash the Dickshow. Thedickshow.com. We got a Maddick's Lost shirt on the website, shop.dick.show.

Limited edition only up for like two more days. So check it out, looks pretty cool. Cone in the barbarian, Dick the Destroyer thing, Maddox Loss Lady. Oh, that is a cool one, yeah. It's a cool shirt. You gotta get it now. It's only gonna be up two more days

and then that's it, no more shirt. Come to Road Rage Dallas, thedickshow.com by Tickets. See you next Tuesday. This song, Big Swinging Problems. This is by Logan Stelber, Big Swinging Problems. Let's see what we think about this. 1.0-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1. That was great. That's like, that got me pumped up. I can go to the gym right now.

We're like, play an old school side-scrolling platformer video game. All right. I got some Facebook news. Hello, this guy. Oh yeah. Hello, Dick, and hello, Dickheads. This is the Facebook Room news for the last couple days. Antonio was looking for advice on what to do.

His girlfriend is becoming an alcohol, and her parents are already alcohols. Dickheads were almost in total unison with a sentiment that being an alcohol isn't even that bad. Antonio insisted it was a problem if you wanted a long-term relationship with her, but the kids continued to double down and gave Antonio the following sage advice. Start drinking, drink more, take out an insurance policy and give her the keys, switch for the read. Become an alcohol yourself, give her mushrooms in the top comment post her

nudes. I was in her sparks posted a text message from his girlfriend that's at her classmate said she's fat. Alexander elected to share this text with the group and make it to a contest. The top comment after one hour would be his response to her. Here are the finalists. I've got a pair of calipers will check when you get home. Fuck you, Fat Orr. If they say those kind of things to you, they weren't really your classmates to begin with. That's the winning comment by a margin of one like,

you're not fat, a little ugly, but not fat. And if they ever sent it, then immediately sent to a paragraph apologizing and explaining himself. Dickheads, consider this a cop out of that. They were not happy. Our final heads consider this a cop out of nothing. We're not having a cop out. Our final story is from Elias. He was pissed off because the group collectively shit on Pitbull's. Elias wrote,

I will bear an ock of brawl any of you Pitbull alarmists at the next road rage. You post these are edgy dip shit and I can take at least three of you before I can stand up again. Elias also said he really wants a piece of Kimball. The threat contains mostly murderous pit bull memes and insults thrown at Elias and his girlfriend as well as inquiries as to Elias' fighting background. Several people were blocked which led to even more aggressive and violent threads about pit bulls and Elias himself. This has been the big show for you to do this. There's a wake. There's a week. They're so easily triggered, the pit bull pit bull.

That's why they get such heat. They're just asking for it. They need validation so bad on their little kink of loving pit bulls and fostering pit bulls and needing pit bulls to be the same as every other dog. They need it. They need us to give it to them and we can all tell. And that is what we live, that is what we live for, is not giving you that.

And instead giving you the opposite. That is like, you've gotta understand, it's got nothing to do with the dog. It's got everything to do with, you need something from us and we'll die before we give it to you And people's are fucked It is 92 degrees outside. I just drove by an old man using his walker

To walk and he's wearing a fucking Jacket to walk and he's wearing a fucking jacket. He's wearing a jacket. If you're bald. If you're bald. I can't wait to wear it. I can't wait to wear it. I can't wait to wear it.

If you need a jacket to walk around in temperatures above your fucking body picture, it's something to fucking lay down and die it's fucking boggled alive i don't know well gladi clarified he was using his walk gladi wasn't driving with his walker your body over the

but i know but good to be yeah i came to have the phone I can't find him, but good to meet him. Yeah. I can't even hear the phone. Yes, I agree, John, say it, God damn it. Let me if I can hang it. It sounds like it.

I get real bitter about guys who can wear jackets and suits. Yeah. God, it's brutal. You can't wear them either? Fuck, man, I get sweaty. Oh, yeah. It's awful. I, yeah.

Especially in the summer. I was a long time ago, I was going to like a 20s night at some bar down at the Edison downtown, a fancy bar downtown. My friend who's a woman invited me, he's like, oh jackpot, there's going to be a lot of chicks here. I'm going to really take my pick, right? Like, it's gonna be like a 4-H event for me walking down the line.

Don't you little ladies and a bunch of heppers in a row. I'm gonna really, right? I'm gonna put a suit on. How can I, how can I miss? It's gonna be like fucking a barrel full of pussy. I can't get this, I can't fuck this up, right? Gonna put a nice suit on. I'm gonna probably put a little hat on

to say it's 20s, and these chicks are gonna be doing the same thing. They're ready to go. You should've shown up in like a striped bathing suit. It's kinda like 20s, like a one piece. Yeah. And a little hat. I would've been fine even in my red light horizontal stripes.

Yeah. Like a medicine ball. Yeah. Triangular weight. I know, I wanna show up with a Nickelodeon and the front of my pants that has my dick in it. You put five cents in and then you do the crank and then you look through the holes, right? Classic 20s outfit.

Sure, sure. So I put my suit on and I showed up there. Hey, how's everybody doing? Wow, look at all these chicks. One guy at the table says, wow, you look like you just ran here. You soaked and sweat. Well, that's the end of the night. Yeah. Yeah. See you guys. Thanks a lot. I'm going to be you. I'm going to be waiting outside for and I'm going to kill you for that. The rest of you have a nice night. Ladies, I hope you all

get laid by men who don't sweat as much and embarrassing and it shows this is a new organ but it's the rage is the uh... to be some type of uh... the furious shadow work what it comes to uh... mental diagnosis you know what i mean

i would be surprised if in 20 years people try to make liberalism or like, oh you're a gun nut, you've got gun disorder. Get you on some bed those and take away your gun, they step. They say anything. They say anything because we all know the truth. I quote a friend of mine from high school who happened to be gay. Okay. He said to me, he said to somebody, it doesn't mean that somebody, you know, you can be gay, just don't be a Faggot. Right? I mean, and there you go.

There you go because it's not being gay, it's an employment. Big Faggot is, and you can't say that. You can't speak the honest story. Are there gay hillbilly is more. I'm sure there will be no thing that's getting worse. I'm like, you, I'm enjoying the ride. That's like a gay racist uncle.

You could be gay, just don't be a vagant. I'm gay myself. Yeah. Wouldn't catch me dead being a vagant. Like go. Yeah. Is that really? Yeah.

Is that a thing? Is that, did you, did you help with the problem with that? Is that what? Yeah. Is that a thing? Is that, did you, did you help with the problem with that? Is that what you think you did? Your mind. Did you help? Did you help us all out? I don't think so.

Or, yeah, I guess there probably will be a gun disability, gun fever. Why not? You know, why not? Yeah. Gender's a spectrum know, why not? Yeah. Gender's a spectrum. That's in the manual. The teaching the kids that, why stop?

I mean, the DSM is all made up anyway. It's about as authoritative as like the monster manual from Dungeons and Dragons when they look at what's in there. Oh man, if you write that, once you write that shit down, that is the law. Yeah, and once you write it in the monster manual that it has like D20 hit points, that's the law too, right? People will kill over that shit.

Yeah. You know that they, that's the whole, that's how that whole Jerusalem shit happened. Yeah, at the point. Yeah, at the point. If they would have caught the guy that said that he saw Muhammad Space Jump and knocked the pen out of hand, there would be no problems, cause it didn't get written down by a guy. Yeah, you're probably right. Should've just let

Coyah Abraham draw Dix on Isaac. Yeah. Yeah, he should've just overrode him. You know, you don't have to kill, you don't have to draw Dix on his own. Okay. He's just kidding. No.

I'll show you to not let me do something I don't wanna do anyway. Probably, he's probably right. I bet someday they'll have a test like to see if your toxic masculinity is out of control. If you've got too much testosterone, like your car will have sensors on it that won't let you drive.

If you've got too much testosterone in your body, you know how you gotta go crank it out. I read that they're slowly moving down the range of acceptable to or of normal healthy testosterone. Yeah. Over the past 20 years that it's moved down something like 120 points from what it was. And you know, I'm not a medicine.

So I don't know what would be a statistically significant deviation. But then you got to go get like shots or something. Yes, but like, so I don't know if that's what they do, but that's something that I read. Yeah, that's, well, there's different... There's different... Yeah, but there's different scales for that stuff. Like, it's like what type of testosterone?

There's different types. And then that seems counter to like, like if you're into big pharma type conspiracies because they want to give you those. You know what I mean? It's like, oh no, you're too low because that's like the big thing right now is like got low T, you know, like,

now you got, now you got too high T. Like I think my dad's on cholesterol medicine that took him down so it worked so well he had to get on a cholesterol upping medicine. What food? Pills with butter in that. Pork chops.

Pills with butter in them. Yeah. It was all according to him though. So who knows? Yeah. Well he's fucking wolfing down edibles like they're going out of style. I mean, who knows what the fuck is up with his cholesterol.

I mean, he's eating a whole stick's a butter. And he's eating a laugh so hard he almost fell down the stairs. Yeah Like what are you talking about? Why? Never mind? Hey dick showings. Here's a mixed-nearage. Yeah, a crack-to-chicks just flat-out assuming you're looking Yeah, I was working today and Didn't have any mistakes. But you are. So I had to run downstairs, go to the freezer.

The way the fucking set up of the restaurant works. I set up the stairs, look at the container, and fill up my betray. As I'm doing that, the very effective front of house manager, who's in a like very thin light sun dress comes out when steps down to steps. And then she says, a child, be mine stepping back. Yeah. I said, okay. I stepped back and I'm still looking down, because I know it's going on right now. She thinks that I'm going to look at that. She walks down the stairs. I'm going to look

up her dress. Oh, God, can't wait to get you look up some look at some panes that's kind of insulting to you what do you think that said you just assume what i look up your questions no i just you know i just don't take a chance and she considers herself the age are department uh...

i just was a look i'm a gentleman i'm working i'm trying to fucking get things I need to learn back upstairs and cook. I've got no choice. Sorry. And it pissed me off because just like, I'm not that big a perv. You know, I don't come off that way. And I'm not trying to fucking look at your coach as you're walking down the fucking basement stairs

of the restaurant. This is what's in their mind. I've got more important things to do. So... That might work. Uh-oh, this guy's gonna look under my dress. You know, fucking hashtags everywhere. Go...

What a fucking burka on, fuck you. You're not damn down.'t want to look at you. What am I going to do? Look at your underwear and then go beat off in the bathroom. What the fuck, what do you think? What do you think in your mind? You just made, this is, I've never, you're like a beautiful work of art.

I'm going to steal a glimpse of your precious camel toe. Fucking annoying. It's so fucking annoying. Oh man, it's a woman that thinks you're trying to get something out of her, giving you that attitude. Oh yeah, you, oh I bet you wanna talk to me. No, I bet you wanna get in these.

I bet you'd wanna do that to get in these pants. You shut the fuck up. I wouldn't want to get in your pants if I was wearing them. Hey, Dick, you know what makes me a fucking rage? When people win an award or are congratulated for something or anything, they say, I'm still humbled to receive this award. What the fuck? No, you're not. It's the opposite. You know, so it's only happened and you lose that's humbling. That's the Bring it on. You're cutting you on the back saying, oh, good fucking job. You're the best there is. Hey, wow, how humbling this must be for you.

Sock it dick. That's the extra win. That's the spoils, right? Cause you could just get up, you could win the award and then throw it in everyone's face. I'm the best. Sail right here, MVP, salesman of the year, salesman of the year right here. That's me and pointed everyone's face and be like, yeah, you're right.

That's why we gave you the award. Yeah, yeah. That's my, yeah, fuck you. I'm the better than you. I'm like, yes, that's what we've, that's what this says. That's very good. We don't deserve this. I'm so humbled. They have to, they've got to agree with you. Nobody would say like, you're not fucking humbled. You're still an angel. You're a man. You're a man.

You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man.

You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're the best. I really don't deserve this. I don't deserve this. I'm so humbled. They have to, they've got to agree with you.

Nobody would say like, you're not fucking humbled. You're still an asshole. You're still the same guy that you were, but you need it. You need that additional win, right? This is so, this is so humbling. I'm gonna be, I need you all to pretend that I am changed by this and then I'm gonna go home and be the same cocksucker. I always am to my wife and kids. Nothing's gonna be, nothing's gonna be, I need you all to pretend that I am changed by this. And then I'm gonna go home and be the same cocksucker.

I always am to my wife and kids. Nothing's gonna be, nothing's gonna be different because this is a stupid piece of plastic. And I still, and I still don't like any of you. That's the key takeaway from here. He's right. So humbling. Can't believe, I can't believe that you all love me as much as I love myself.

It's an honor just to be the honor. It's an honor for you. Yeah. Hey, Dick. It's me, Andrew from Pretoria, South Africa. I spiked class one because I knew America needed class one. I'll tell you what makes me a fucking rage. When you go to a bar with your man, a guy my man, and you meet this girl and she

slips slides around on the floor because the fucking the floor is uneven or whatever and I call her and she's a beautiful seven American woman out of ten and she's fucking impressed by my awesomeness or whatever the fuck and I'm thinking it's amazing, almost too amazingly and then we play Truth of Dare because we're hammered on that 69 and she says and I say, hey, you know, truth, do you want to go on a date or whatever? After I complimented her fucking cool shoes, she had cool shoes. And she said, what about your friend? I said, what do you mean, what about my friend? I realized she thought I was gay.

Oh, fuck. So I'm just like, oh fuck. So I'm just like, oh fuck. So I'm just like, oh fuck. So I'm just like, oh fuck. So I'm just like, oh fuck. So I'm just like, oh fuck. So I'm just like, oh fuck.

So I'm just like, oh fuck. So I'm just like, oh fuck. So I'm just like, oh fuck. So I'm just like, oh fuck. So I'm just like, oh fuck. So I'm just like, oh fuck. So I'm just like, oh fuck. So I'm just like, oh fuck.

So I'm just like, oh fuck. So I'm just like, oh fuck. So I'm just like, oh fuck. So I'm just like, oh fuck. So I'm just like, oh fuck. So I'm just like I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm sorry. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man.

I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man.

I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out and wrestle a white chart to be a man. I'm gonna go out That's just her way of, you know, kicking the can. You wanna date? What about your friend? Oops, I shouldn't have said that, right?

Oh, I think you're gay. But you gotta reduce the variables. So now, if you have that problem, you gotta open up straight away with it. I'm not gay, by the way. You'd work it in, find some way to work it in. If you've ever been mistaken for being gay? Not that I can be woman.

By woman. By woman. No. No, me either. I've also never been mistaken for wanting to be friends. Yeah. Like where guys will tell you the story of, well, she just, we were on a date and she didn't know

it was a date and she thought I wanted to be friends. Never, that's never happened to me. No, no, she knew, she knew it was a date. She was just using free dinner. Right. Yeah. And I asked a girl one time, like, why, why do you say that you, that you never, that you knew from right away that this was,

that I didn't want to be friends? And she just laughed. It's like, I'm pretty obvious. Pretty obvious. So if you face these problems, just, just these problems, just call them out right away. Let's go somewhere. By the way, I don't wanna be friends. Yeah, this is a date, right?

By the way, hey, how you doing? I like your shoes. By the way, I'm not gay. It's not that awkward. Like it's not that awkward to say to someone. Rip it off like a band-aid. Yeah, just get it out there. Hey, you know what else is, you know what else? I'm not gay.

Just in case you were thinking. Cause in case you would, I'm not saying that you were, but just throwing that out there. Are you gay? Just one less thing for you to think about. Yeah. And it's uncommon enough it's going to make you stick out in your mind. Right, you'll be thinking about you later. Yeah.

Don't apologize for it. You're not gay. Sorry, I'm straight, baby. It's our hamstring. You know, you might be, you might be wondering, uh, because for it. You're not gay. So I am straight. It's our hamstring. You know, you might be wondering, because you look like you don't have good gay darts, turn it around on them, but I'm not gay.

I know you might be wondering because of my impeccable fashion sense and expensive clothes that I'm wearing and great attention to personal hygiene. Yeah, comments, right. I get comments, you know, work it into a store. I get comments from gay people all the time about my clothes, even though I myself, I'm not gay. There you go. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm not gonna do anything gay. And I'm gonna be thinking

about you the whole day. You feel free to do gay stuff while I'm not doing gay stuff in the bathroom. I don't judge. I don't judge. It's easy. See, these problems easily solved. Yeah, yeah. Just be honest. Simple dialogue. Maybe wear a little button. Not gay.

Upside down pink ribbit to show that you're not gay. Not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Tiny little type. Yeah. Because, you know, you gotta cover your bases. You gotta cover your bases. All right, everybody, see you next Tuesday.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. Tiny little type. Yeah. Because, you know, you gotta cover your bases. You gotta cover your bases. All right, everybody. See you next Tuesday.