The Dick Show - Episode 105 - Dick on Caught Cheating

Episode Date: June 5, 2018

Landau is putting together a settlement offer AFTER THE DISMISSAL and is upset at his Google results, Mental Jess catches Maddox "trying to cheat" on her and immediately drops dysfunctional dimes on Facebook, I get the Ralph Retort a strike on YouTube, racism and jokes and the death of everything funny, shooting the Lolsuit courtroom transcript, why we have Incels in one simple graph, Snapchat filters for men, the The Dick Show Facebook group is shadow banned, stealing bum wine, the good and bad of reputation management, eating mustard with your hands, annoying baby talk, and another ridiculous Biggest Problem: Uncucked edit; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Hey Hey Yeah Ah, welcome to dick you want diggy need diggy love dig you got it the show Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh That shit will bounce off of me. Yeah. I'm rubber and you're Sue. Whatever you sue on to me bounces off of me and you look stupid. Everyone will make fun of you. Yeah. And you're lawyer. That'll catch on.

Yeah. I'm rubber and you're Sue. Yeah. Rhyming is so 20th century. It's, man, it's great. It's really, when the first freestyle rapper who runs for president is going to win because they will just rhyme everything and everyone will believe it. Sure. Like I can't stress how stupid the human is.

If it rhymes, we'll follow it off a cliff. Getting dumber. Hey, if it doesn't fit, you must acquit. Yeah. Exhibit A, your honor. Today. The problem is we're so good at finding out but hey, you're on her today. The problem is we're so good at finding out the stupid how stupid we are and to take advantage of it, but no one's really working on the other science. Yeah, the get smarter science, you know? Yeah.

They're just, they're working on, that's work. Yeah, they're working on how to, the banks and the banks and the government are working together on how to more, more efficiently make all your money that you will ever earn theirs. Yeah, that's what that's the sciences that we're working on. Yeah, that's the student loan money. I don't know why I got up on that. God big. This is this is hot off the gas wire. I'm going to get right into some gas for you Sean. I woke

up. Okay. Wow, I woke up. I know it's good when 80s girls waking up, you've got a message on your phone. What do you, what do you, I'm, I'm over there. I bet you have more than one. I was, I was out with Randy. Oh, you know, Randy, one half of the Keon and Keon mega powers. That's so funny, their names. You know, like Franklin and Bash,

but it's just Bash and Bash. Bash and Bash, yeah. That's the Randy and Keon, and they go out. I never saw that show. Me either. Was that a brick and mire vehicle? Yeah. So, wow.

Here, okay, here it is with what they, what I woke up to, a giant text art. I was out with Randy on night, planning the, planning to shoot the courtroom transcript. Oh, okay, yeah, I'm glad you added transcript because I thought he's planning to shoot the courtroom. And if you would end it right there. Planning to shoot up a courtroom transcript.

Okay. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think it'd be funny. Oh, I think it'd be hysterical. Yeah, like all those lines, just being able to watch it over and over and over again, like some of the clips,

some of the best zingers. But shooting the whole thing. Get actors and yeah. Yeah, and the part that makes me the most excited is getting like a kind of, I'm gonna choose my words carefully because, lost to you. No, just because I mean, there's in a nice as possible way, like an actor that you recognize

that you haven't seen in a while, I guess is how, you know what I mean? That's what you're gonna go for? I think that would be funny. Sure. Like to play Ramos, because he is the funniest one in the courtroom. Yeah. And he had so much gravitas. And he's probably the one you would most likely be able to get an actor to play.

Yeah. Like an actor who's, right. And he gets to sit down the whole time. You know, and he can read the lines off the paper because a lot of his stuff is like kind of looking at things, right? Get Larry Flint. That is exactly who I said. First is like, dude, I keep seeing Larry Flint

even though he was not a great actor. No. But his name was in the title, so he got to play judge. Yeah. Larry Flint or Rip Torn. That's right. Oh, wow. I'll see you in Cops in prison today. Yeah, and Freddie got fingered.

So what I waived a gun around in a bank. These nuts, you can see what people say about me on the internet. Um, so we're, you sound like Nixon from Futurama. I do. I don't do a good rip. I don't even know what he sounds like, really. Rift horn and old men in black drunk or yeah. Oh, get him. Slower. If you can, if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. Yeah.

What about, um, oh shit. What about Chris Christofferson? You know what? Yeah. I would say yes, except I saw, I was at the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival. And I was real pumped up to see Chris Christofferson play. Oh, he's, he's incredibly terrible of Sean. Yeah, I wish you were there to tell me that at the time because I can't

never been able to carry a tune. Yeah, real good songwriter. God awful singer. He can't sing for. He had the stage president of bucket of a mummy. Yeah, not an animated one. Like he looked like death and he sounded like double death. I think he was on with Joni Mitchell on one of the late shows. I think it was Joni Mitchell. And she was looking at him like, are you fucking serious with this shit? Oh, he's, he sucks, man. They had him, they had his mic turned up so high

that you could hear his lungs dying. Yeah. You could hear his heart, you could hear the sweat, and he still couldn't hear the fucking songs. Like it was the one of the worst things I've ever, or I fell asleep halfway there and hang a lot of fuck this. Just matter of passing on. If you could hear him or not here,

it's better that you don't hear him. Anyway, so that's what Ray and Ian and I explain. It's better that you don't hear him. Anyway, so that's what Rhea and I were doing. I think that's gonna be fucking hilarious. Yeah. And then I wake up, get to drunk, of course, with the randomator. I wake up and I see this, wait, now my phone.

This is apparently allegedly a post from Jessica Blum who we fondly know is mental Jess and unfundly know as mental Jess. The woman who ruined Maddox's life, who tried to get 80s girl fired, who did sue me. This is one half of the dumb dumbs. Jessica is one half of the dummies that sued me and cost the stereosis job in my opinion. She's on there. And started endless headaches for all of us. This is one half.

This is the co-plank dip. Well, the crazy and Maddox really came out when they got together. Well, and after they had been together for a little while. Well, let's see what happens to the crazy now because this is her Facebook post. I'm single now. Caught my BF.

Yeah, she got no time to type out, boyfriend. She's busy, you know, she's busy trying to give fuck this quickly as possible. I imagine that's what, that's what guys imagine women do as soon as they break up with us is immediately go get fucked. That is what you imagine. So stupid and sick. Because we try, that's what is,

whenever you go, you go, It's what every guy imagines. You go, she's not even out the door. I need to fuck, I need to get fucked as quickly as possible. This is an arms race. This is a Soviet fuck arms race that I'm gonna fuck a bitch before Russia fucks another guy. Because like that's what we think their MO is. Immediately, because it is, because it is their MO.

Because they are just a bunch of, oh, it's funny. Yeah. Immediately because it is because it is their amount of they are just a bunch of Funny yeah, and you can't avoid it like the older you know things your brain goes crazy I'm single now Jessica Blum of course I can't post this to any social media because every time I post anything of Either of those dummies. I get all my accounts locked. Yeah. I'm single now, caught my BF. Maybe she means best friend. I don't know.

Caught my BF trying to cheat on me. Yeah. Active word trying. Yeah. Yeah. Which means she caught a message. She caught a chain, right? She caught Maddox trying to get nudes from a female fan,

which when he's not playing Garxoles, that's what he's doing. That's why he was always so insane about, Jack, you're just, you're driving away all the female fans. Like what, you can't get jack off materials. That why you're so fucking, a fan is a fan. It doesn't matter what gender they are. You dumb motherfucker.

Does he have any time to go out anymore? So you know this is how it's going. Because he's just sitting there crawling his social media and blocking people and writing novels as responses to people asking questions about his criminal harassment. Well, did they stop harassing me? Let me find a picture of your family,

so I can edit in a speech bubble. Does your boss know? Does your dude, this is what you do? Test your boss now that you're harassing me and stalking me for the approval of a form of losers. Hold on, I have a call with my lawyer. I need to talk to him before happy hour. I need to talk to him before happy hour.

It was pretty well-sausd after then. I got Landau Goss too. Oh boy. It's a, I'm sorry. I'm favorite. I'm favorite Irish booze hal. What species is he? What, what, what, what brand?

Landau, he's an Irish booze hal. He could be, what's the drunkest dog? I don't know. A booze,? He's an Irish booze hound. He could be. Uh, what's the drunkest dog? I don't know. A booze, booze hound Irish booze hound. I guess a beer goal. What about a, what about an old English bulldog? Yeah. If he's going, if he's going ghetto.

I can just be mad dog. It's a little too on. Oh, yeah. There he goes. Yeah. Um, God, I saw a little too on the mad dog flicker? Yeah. God, I saw a, I saw the funniest bum trying to steal a jug, a gigantic jug of mad dog flicker. I was driving to LAX

one time. I was like 13 years old. It was like trying to be discrete. Wow. For a bum. Yeah. Drunk. And I see him like, I see him walking out of a liquor store, like he had just, like he had 10 pounds of shit in his pants, right? Which he might have, I thought, yeah. Like I thought, wow, that guy,

that bum just shoot himself in that liquor store. Right. And now he's like, I hope it's not his dad's underwear. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, I don't know where he's going though. Like he should be going back to the liquor store and using the restroom to clean them so,

you know, if he really did shit his pants, but he's like, he's like a sumo wrestler. You know, when you got shit in your pants, especially 10 pounds of it, how you walk. He's like ambling over, moseying over like a cowboy. I don't, I forget why we were going to the airport. My family was going to the airport. I was sitting in the back seat.

I was a little kid. Flying somewhere? She's probably to eat. Probably to eat. Probably to eat. I forget where we were. There's a good in and out down there. And then I see he's got a bum friend that's waiting for him,

like hiding. Oh boy. Oh, I don't know what's going on. What are these bums doing? Why is this guy so concerned about this guy's shitting his pants? The other half of the operation. Yeah.

The other half of the brain trust. Yeah. So the first bump with the load in his pants finally gets over to his buddy and he starts pulling down his pants and he's got this giant jug of bum wine in there. And the other guy's like salivating and rubbing his hands together. So the first bump tries to extract just the simple task of pulling a bottle out of his pants. He goes to grab it and it falls out the ass and shatters. And both of them go, oh, but the one guy didn't, he didn't bother pulling his pants up. He's stealing bum wine and drinking in the middle.

Like he doesn't care. There's no point in going on after that. I mean, that was, fuck of them. Oh, one guy's pants completely down. She is. Why did I start telling that story? Oh, Landau, I got Landau, Gus. Yeah. So, I guess we're gonna see if Maddox can get his life on track now. Well, it was nice of Jessica to wait around

to see if they would win $20 million together. Sure, but I guess that money trained didn't come in. So now she needs to find somewhere else to live without getting a job. Is that, I'm single now. Just gonna have to give up that wonderful Casper mattress. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Give up that wonderful Casper mattress. Hahaha. Hahaha. Oh, did trade show models suck shit.

Next on episode of the best debate in the universe. Yes, now for the other side. Nobody ding. I'm single now caught my BF trying to cheat. Trying to cheat on me. Ask me anything. Ask me anything. No. Ask me anything, Sean.

Yeah. She's crazy enough. I mean, who would, who would, who would, ask me anything? Who would put that? Who would post that? Who a crazy person. And then somebody did ask her somebody.

They, something they said, a frowny face. And for unprovoked, she replies, mental Jess replies, Hey, at least my Facebook is mine now. And I can post what I want because he controlled that. Oh, is that is that really a surprise? I mean, the most controlling person, controlling your girlfriend's Facebook. Try to control everything.

That's great. I hope I wonder if I can get her to call in. Wow. You know? That would be something. Give some perspective on the lawsuit. That would be something. Maybe to see if she could,

if she, if she could tell us how big Maddox is penises, I think that would be newsworthy information that I would pay top dollar for. Okay. You know, yeah. Or a lot of, a lot of things. Yeah. I'm sure you have a lot of things. I like to know a lot of things. Uh, I'd like to know about the cuck situation. Yeah. I'm for, I would freely call in. I think I could, I could give her some dough. I think we'd all like to know a lot of things. I think I could give her some dough. I think we'd all like to know a lot of things. I think we'd all like to hear from her.

I mean, a terrible injustice has been done to her. She was clearly manipulated into being a part of that lawsuit. Right? I mean, there's no way, there's no way some young, is gonna come up with this on her own. Yeah, beautiful African American woman who's also a model. There's no way she would have meant any ill intent

like this. She was probably bamboozled by Maddox and tricked into doing these things, calling 80s girls school, because she didn't have that information. Keep that, you know, he would have had the information and given it to her. And probably push, I would say,, probably pushed her into doing it.

Wouldn't doubt that at all. I mean, if she wants to corroborate these, because right now she looks like a very terrible person who would do this stuff, getting hysteria was fired, harassing women, harassing women. Her name's on the dotted line right next to his. Yeah, right now they both look like the scum of the earth. If she wants to call in and maybe clear her name, I would be open to that.

Yeah. I think everyone would as well. So Jessica, if you're out there, if you're out there, send me an email. Send me an email and tell us how you caught your BF trying to cheat on you. That's too bad. Okay, so the next goss is Land Howe sends out an email. I don't know if I can, I don't know if I should read this whole thing. Land Howe sends me an email that starts, when is this?

Two days ago. Two days ago. So this is post decision. This is post decision. This this two days ago two days ago so this is this is post this is post decision this is two days ago I was on I was on I was streamed for like 12 hours on Thursday did you really yeah between the painkiller already podcast which I cannot stop low key masturbating on you know that it's video and it goes for so long that I forget it's on video and I will like catch myself right about I will catch myself having been touching my cock for a period of time and I'm like oh fuck what did that look like? That's the last thing I need. Yeah.

Well that's the last thing I need is a g Is a gif of me, you know, my arm making weird movements, and I got to explain that. You can see the muscles in your forearm kind of moving, and you're moving your fingers. Exactly. Yeah. Everybody knows what's going on there. Yeah. And I got to make some shit up. Oh, a dog broke into my house, and I had to pat it very softly.

Yeah. Um, so I was on that for a couple hours and then I was on the Ralph Retort kill stream, uh-huh, which went completely off the rails. Oh boy. I laid in to everybody. It was great. Cuckregan and his fat girlfriend, Lacey Green, that bitch, Monday and Matt, this other guy, no taxation. All these phony ass e-salebs, right? And then I think Ralph passed out at some point. Oh wow. And Medi-Kar-Caldon, Munky Jones-Caldon,

J-Null from Kiwi Farms-Caldon. And then some absolute lunatic-Caldon, this woman. Like how none of them is the lunatic. Oh, they're fine. Those are all normal goods, salt of the earth. That's a fucking crazy person called them. Crazy woman called it. Yeah.

And I spent 20 minutes trying to figure out her age by asking her like, what was the song they played at your high school prom? What was the song you lost to your virgin? What was the first Oscars you remember? What was the first Oscar movie? Clever Girl, though. She kept, she knew what I was doing and she kept dodging it because she was old. Obviously. I think I did finally get it with a Norma Desmond reference that she laughed at. And then then she pretended not to laugh at. Like she didn't get what I was talking about. On me and Medica are both new that she got it.

She laughed. Yeah. Can't stop that. So right before that, Landau sends me an email that starts, I hope you are doing well. What is fucking guy? We're in the process of having discussions with our clients relative to a potential settlement offer and resolution of the case. What do you mean resolution of the case?

I hope you're doing well. I haven't recovered from that yet. They got really nice to meet you. Go fuck yourself. Go eat a fucking brick. You cock sucker. Really nice to meet you, fuck you. Did you not, were you, were you so pissed drunk in court

that you forgot that it's grown out? Yeah, potential settlement. To the, you woke up the next day, you had that liquor blackout. That's fucking gone. And what a fucking dipshit. God damn. Yeah, you gotta be some kind of stupid.

Okay, we're one sentence in and I can't control myself. We are in the process of having discussions with our clients. Well, that discussion's gonna get a lot more complicated now that they're not dating. Yeah. Next episode of the best debate in the universe. Who's likely to get fucked first? A 40 year old broke bald Armenian man or a trade show model in the height of her sexuality.

Yeah. Find out what Maddox thinks. Right. What do you think he thinks? Yeah. Uh, next episode of the best debate. How bad, how, how bad ass is it to email chicks on Facebook and get Newtie Picks to jack off to?

Bad ass, cool as shit. John, that's cool as shit. Oh God, we should have something for you by the end of next week. Okay, so that's the settlement offer. So that's going to be exciting. Yeah. That'll be hilarious. Can't wait. Right. So you're going to.

So you win, but there's a, there's going to be a, you know, I'm not going to rake you over the coals or anything. We can come to a settlement and the resolution of this case, the fuck planet is a guy. I thought that's what court was for. The fuck planet is this guy on? I thought that's what court was for. The fuck planet is this guy on? Maybe he meant the resolution of this case of beer that he was halfway through. The resolution of this case.

I also wanted to let you know, so let's see, I'm gonna paraphrase this a little bit. They were informed that Mr. Masterson posted Kevin's Landau's complete name I'm gonna paraphrase this a little bit. They were informed that Mr. Masterson posted Kevin's Landau's complete name in association with other information. What do you mean, it's in the court docs, it's public, right? It's the DUI.

Oh, oh, that, yeah. It's the fucking DUI. They sent me, because I called that bonus episode to come Kevin Landau's DUI. Oh, yeah, sure. In service to the public, as far as I'm concerned, we've got a menace out there in society who makes poor decisions quite frankly. And he's engaged in a very

public lawsuit. He's going around making public claims, putting himself out there as a public figure in these gigantic lawsuits. And people should know that he has terrible decision making and and is a bad drunk driver. Yeah. Which is worse in my opinion. It's one thing to drive drunk. It's another thing to get caught doing it. That's inarguably worse. We know that as people, if you get caught, you're worse. You get punished harder because you didn't get away with it. Well, like you sort of. Well, that's sort of. If you Google Landau's name, numerous Reddit posts will immediately pop up on the first page of Google. I guess they don't like that.

As opposed to his law firm. Yeah. Here, let me see what happens when you Google Kevin Landau. Kevin Landau on the goog. Clack at it, clack, clack. Clack. What do we got here? Number one, the Landau on the goog. Clack, clack, clack. What do we got here? Number one, the Landau Group, number two, Kevin A Landau.

What's he complaining about? Yeah, that's fine. That's great. The Landau Group. How greedy can you get? It's number one, right? Yeah, number one. Oh, oh, number three.

Maybe this is the problem. Oh, oh, number three. Maybe this is the problem. Oh. Oh. Number three, another instance of Kevin Landau lying to the court. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Is that for us? Is that for us? I think they did. I think they did. They did. They did it with the dictionary. Oh, boy.

And then there's like a bunch of. Yeah, but he's doing it. Oh. Yeah. Um, obviously I don't control anything on the Reddit. No, I'm not a moderator for it. I didn't make it. It's a fan run site. There's nothing I can, there's nothing I can do about that.

Don't lie to the court, I guess. If you got people saying that you are, moral and story, take it up with them. Maybe hop on the subreddit and ask them why they think you're lying. Take it up with them. Maybe hop on the subreddit and ask them why they think you're lying. You can convince them. Number four, how to lose a DUI stream. Kinmatik Sue Landau. Kevin Drinking beer helps me steer land. Wow. That's so funny. I can't quite. I need a minute. I need a minute. See, that's rhyming. Rhyming. It's totally true. We're all susceptible to it.

Oh, man. I guess it would really suck if somebody else our next president had somebody who was trying to hire you. They're lost and they typed it in. It's a drinking beer house. Might want to move on to other lawyers in the area. You know, if you see something like that, here's he continues, which likes, which likely means that Mr. Masterson is using his SEO knowledge and paying Google.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Cause you love Google so much. That's how it works. Yeah. You just give him a couple bucks. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Google, will you put, put this out? How much would it? What is it? Yeah. 10 bucks, 20 bucks. Yeah. How much is it for you to just get, put the rankings as whatever I want?

That's how it works, you idiot. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it Yeah, I mean, I can't go fuck yourself. Yeah, I can't and also go fuck you know what you got to do. You want to invest in something called reputation management. That's what it's called when the Google results are not showing what you want them to show. It's very expensive. That's the bad news. That's the good news. Excuse me.

There's good news and bad news with reputation management for a case like this. When you've done something bad, when you've had a number of losses in your job or you've had some trouble with the law, a couple of dewies, you want reputation management, good news bad news. The good news is it's very expensive. The bad news is it doesn't always work.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right, moving on. I'm gonna play a song before I get into what makes me rage. Yeah, yeah. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right, moving on. I'm going to play a song before I get into what makes me rage.

I need a little, I need to clear my mind a little bit. Just too much winning, Sean. Too much winning. I should get this tattooed on me. Too much winning. No, this, let me find it. What a drinking beer. No, no, let me find it. What, drinking beer and old gestures? No, no, no, I'm single now, caught my BF trying to cheat on me.

What is the trying? It's the trying, Sean. It's the trying that should be looked at with disdain, trying arousas discussed in the human, trying. We don't, there's no, there's no trying. You're either a success in a God or you're a failure. There's no in between. It speaks of impotence.

It does. It's the uncanny valley. That we despise. Oh, you're trying to cheat. Mm-hmm. So the losers always whine about their best. Yeah. Winners go home and fuck prom queen.

Rock Queen. God. Carla was a prom queen. Really? Really? This is... Oh, this is the old two esterios, the intervention from Ethan Cantrell. I think Ethan's going to be opening at Road Rage Dallas.

Cool. Tickets are back up. Check out the site. Road Rage Dallas. We're going to check some mustard. Mustard chugging. Down with a green step of stereos trying to buck you off. He'll be Why that's the great stuff. That's his visual. I don't ever want to see come to fruition.

If you can ride his stereos for longer than eight seconds, you, um, you win, uh, I don't know. You win something. Wow. You win a five minute podcast. You know, he don't know, you win something. Wow. You win a five minute podcast. Do you know he sold his lawsuit? He sold the actual one that he got served with on eBay. I believe it. For like 300 bucks. Wow.

He's Ethan Cantra with the ode to a stereo. The intervention song. The intervention song. Wow. And then I got to talk about Rosanne. I gotta talk about that. Oh yeah, yeah. Bumming me out.

That was good, I did it. Oh, you heard this? No. Oh. You heard this? No. Oh. You heard this?

No. Oh. You heard this? No. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Hey, have you heard this? No. You have gone for breaking bad, getting fucked up with Dixon. You are a traditional mother fucking cyber demon. Fucking cyberdemon Kidnapping children

And dragging the show into the weeds again Me stop swallowing the microphone He stops while the wing of microphone What? That's three of us Coking is no Oh, come on My favorite sneaky breath Now your red chains are with you speed

That's right, me, me Have trouble be heath We listen to the words you've reached When your jokes are in my beat This is an intervention Before you go destroying yourself I might be making fun of you But I'm so trying to help

In that order Order. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, nice. It ends on a positive note. It ends on a positive note. I'd like to thank Ethan for tuning that guitar. Yeah. Because we've had a, we've had a few where the guitar was yeah guitar was out the guitar was out a bit. Oh, so it's more pleasant to listen to. So Roseanne's show got canceled and everybody lost their mind about it. I guess did you see it? Did I see her new no, no, when I actually wanted to. It was good. Oh, it was good. It was good. And this is what breaks my heart and makes me a rage about the whole thing. Okay. Nothing's funny anymore. Nothing. Like I avoid comedy like the fucking play. Yeah. Well, Dick, what? What she said is a 10 on the scale of what is going to get you in trouble. You know what? You can't set you can't do that. That's just one thing

where we're all going to have to agree. You know, that's going to get that's going to get you that's going to get you fucking black ball. Yeah. It just is. We've got to take it back. We've got to take comedy back. It's not like if you are doing something and trying to make a joke in any capacity, I say you can't give a pass. You can't give a pass for effort. You can't give a pass for effort. Man, you, when every single try, it is, it is, it is. That's the try. It was funny though. It was, am I the only one that thought, it is, it is. That's the try.

It was funny though. It was, am I the only one that thought, if you take out the racist component, right? Yeah. If you give her the, if you sit there for a second and think, is this person, this is, they're probably not, they're probably not committing career suicide in a tweet, right? They're, they, she's probably smarter than that, right?

Give her that benefit of the doubt. I don't know. Without the racial component, it's funny. It's objectively, you know, how do you, how do you separate the racial component from it? Because you think to yourself, she's trying to hurt this woman's feelings, right? Yeah.

Rosanne is trying to hurt this woman's feelings if she even thought about it that much. If she even thought about it that much. If she even thought about it that much, the way to hurt people's feelings is the personal. The look, yeah. It's not the right, like the racist part is not as hurtful as the genuine you look like this. You specifically look like this,

not because of your fucking race, but because you're a hideous monster. That is way more hurtful. Well, a lot of people said, here's a thing that I will say kind of to that side. There was a lot of Obama looks like curious George. And there was that for Bush too. Yeah, he did, but like Obama with the ears and like the kind of the real close crop tail of the stuff. Yeah. And it's like, that's, yeah. You know, but you can't, like, what the fuck is racist about it?

Like what, you know, you can't, you just can't equate somebody who's black to an ape. You just can't do it. You're just never gonna get a pass on that. She said sorry. What, what more, what do people want? You're killing? I like it. You're killing through a ambience under the bus. You know what? Fuck, fucking, fucking ambience. I love their, their fucking smug ass response to like you guys are,

you have killed so many people, big pharma. You are killing people, you are killing people you're killing people every day like the Class action lawsuits that you made like hundreds of there tens of thousands of people fucking death Just because you're trying to cram yet like aggressive what are they hoarding doctors? Shove your fucking medicine down people look we're living in fucking for it Fahrenheit 411 or whatever it is, 451. Yeah. Don't, don't come at us like you're a morat, like you're the moral authority.

Yeah, no, no, sure. No, no, sure. Yeah, I was waiting, I was like, ah, they won't respond to that. And then I thought I'm in, I'm like, oh no, of course they'll respond to that. They're so stupid. Oh, now I'm kind of wondering if it's true.

Well, like, master Zenek, I think, I think about it. I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, Zeneca, I think, I think, I think, AstraZeneca had to pay, uh, it was like, it was like $750 million in, in, uh, you know, penalties to, I guess the, I don't know if the SEC busted on or something like that. For, because for exactly like what we know goes on, where it was like, they got doctors to sign a bunch of studies that they wrote in order to lobby the FDA to get something approved. There was like, it never occurred. So it's, yeah. Yeah, they're all crooks. They fucked up healthcare.

But we've got to scale back. This is a bridge too far on the offense of this one. I agree with you, but we're not going to get this one. We're just not. It's, it's told, it's fucking unacceptable unacceptable when you can, you can look at a woman that looks like a leather muppet. You can make that joke and then it's, it's racist because the media is run by a bunch of hoaxers and everybody in the world wants to think they're a fucking mind reader. Like everybody, everybody has made a very bad joke on accident. Like it's so, it's so common, it's a fucking sit-com trope.

Are you stick your foot in your mouth, that's her. Oh, you didn't know her dad just died of cancer. Like, oh, you didn't know she's actually black. Oh, fuck. Well, how am I going to explain this one to everybody? Even though everybody knows it. Yeah, yeah. We're killing comedy. Yeah. We're killing comedy.

Yeah, we're killing comedy by doing this shit. And everybody, everybody who jumps on the, well, you know, you just, we all, you just can't do it. Like, come on. You just can't do that. I'm, why? I'm never gonna get a pass on saying the unword. I'm just not, I'm okay with that.

I don't wanna say it. It's just an accident. It's a fucking accident. It's not even like, it's not even racist in and of itself. Racism. Uh, this is your race. Okay, I'm judging you personally that you're shitty at these things, right? Yeah. That's racism.

Yeah, yeah. And somebody looks like something, something, fuck, what the fuck kind of racism is that? I know. It's just, it's giving a fucking break. That one is, that one's just too far gone. It's just too far gone. Why? Why?

Because of the, because of the precedent, it's been like that pre-social media, way pre-social media. Oh, but it's getting worse. My entire life. Oh, it's getting worse. It's getting so much worse. I agree with you there.

I remember when Roseanne sank spit all over the national anthem. Grabbed a crotch. Grabbed a crotch. It's getting so much worse. I agree with you. I don't remember when Roseanne sank, spit all over the national anthem. Grabbed her crotch. Grabbed her crotch. It was hilarious because what did you think she was going to do? You know what's funny about that? She's not Susan Boyle. She looks like that and sounds like that all the time. How did you think it was going to go?

You did that with that. It was an idea. It was an idea with that. It was an idea with that. It was an idea with that. It was an idea with that. Nothing, nothing wrong with it. but this one, one tweet gone. Funny comedy gone.

Comedy gone and now everybody's walking around on more egg shells. It's the entire world is dating, is dating a B type personality, where we're constantly afraid of not offending anyone, just offending an imaginary, an imaginary victim that everybody is always fighting for. And you, I'm saying you included by saying, oh, you can't say that. You can't say that. Why? Why not?

Because you just fucking joke. It's just fucking words. Yeah. Relax. I know. Even if she had come out, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, like, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, calm down. It's just, we're just past that point.

I'm just, I'm conceding it. Oh, it's a, it's a wreck. I hate it. Yeah, I do too. I do too. I hate that we can't joke around anymore. Of course, we're gonna, of course, we're gonna fuck up. Yeah, of course, we need like a comedian's medical

malpractice insurance. Yeah, and they don't mess the, you know what the companies don't mess around? That for no reason. Well, she's fired instantly. There's no like, this is what it could be. It could be three people who raise hell. It drives me insane because everybody tries

to defend every single step of the process until you look at, you take a step back from and say, well, then it's mission, then it worked exactly like it was supposed to. Every single, well, of course they had to because of advertisers. Of course they had to because you can't, well, of course all the people working for the show or you've got to, of course they had to take some action or else they have to worry about their bottom line. Like, you know, at no point is just this, some knee jerk reaction from a fucking moron, the same way that every single other thing works in life, a knee jerk reaction by a moron or knee jerk reactions.

Well, there's more weight reactions now than ever. I'm not even commenting on the actions that followed. I'm just saying like, what apology? What she said. Yeah. You just can't. We've become this. We've all become PR shills.

Everybody has got to, everybody went to imaginary business class 101. That's what it feels like. Yeah, yeah. Fired, well they had to protect their bottom line. No, they didn't. Oh, they had to worry about advertisers. No, they didn't. What's what they're gonna pull back? They could see how it, they could't. Oh, they had to worry about advertisers. No, they didn't.

What, what, they're gonna pull that. They could see how it, they could see how it played out, you know. Just for just, just one time. Let's see how it plays out. Do people really care? Like once, once they get the, once they get their, their rants out on their own social media. Yeah.

Do they just go back to watching it? Well, I mean, because they're gonna, they're gonna lose some, they're gonna use school shooting or something. They're gonna lose some. They'll lose some, but I'm telling you, the show was good. Then there's, then they're not losing shit. The show was good. Oh, it, it, it hurts me because when you make somebody laugh, it's the only time, it's the only way you can get them to laugh. It is a feeling that we need to have, we need to laugh, we need to have fun to stop taking ourselves so fucking seriously.

Yeah, it's good for you. And it's hard to do. So anything done in service of that should be protected more than anything else to me because it is the only way to get that feeling. It's the only way, you can convince somebody if something with a joke that you can't convince them of in any other way. Yeah, but it's, you can convince somebody if something with a joke that you can't convince them of in any other way.

Yeah, but it's, you know, it gets subjective. That's the thing. Like what's a joke and what's not? It's like, if something is, if somebody attempts to make a joke, and it's just, and it's, what percentage of the population has to think it's funny? No, none.

Just have to try. You just have to try. You just have to duck and try. How do you know? It gets harder and harder to parse out what's a joke. You know what? I have faith in our ability to do that. I don't know.

I have this weird feeling that like it's frightened as we are of all these slurs influencing behavior and all these like microaggressions influence. I have a little more faith in us to rise above that. I just not a fuck you don't. No, but also how do you get the people back who are so conditioned to think that anything mildly controversial is worthy of being defended.

How do you get those people back? To stop doing this? To stop, to stop persecuting for jokes. I don't know because I saw people who I saw people who've lost their careers over a joke they made Oh, I know jumping right in and saying well, you know, Rosanne's indefensible. Like how is it indefensible? It's a bad joke. Gilbert got freed lost af af laugh for his hilarious Japan jokes. It was after that. Same thing. I don't think Japan is worried about his jokes. I got a fucking tsunami and I'm melting down

nuclear power plant to worry about. I'm sure that I'm not. I'm a fuck, you're not helping out. You're not helping out by sitting on the sidelines, watching people move your house and worrying about it. That is not helping. Just shut the fuck up. worrying about it. That is not helping.

Just shut the fuck up. Yep, it bums me out. The whole thing bums me out. Cause I don't like seeing companies get defended for making decisions based on the bottom line. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like no, it's not, you don't have to understand

what these companies are doing. They're not people, they're not your parents. You don't have to give them the benefit of the doubt. Like they should be pressed constantly to appease our even our slightest desires. I want them, I don't want to pizza in 30 minutes. I want it right now. Just make them constantly all day. And then when I order one, take the freshest one. That's it. That's how that's how this system works. You don't cut them any

slack ever. I don't care. I don't care how you do it. Figure it out. I don't care how you save how you salvage this show. Figure it out. Figure it the fuck out. Well, they're talking about keeping going without Rosanna. Uh, so stupid. Never, never in a million years. It's so stupid. It's this sick, sick witch hunt mentality that we have. It'll never happen. It's sick.

It'll never, it's never gonna happen. It would be terrible, but, you know, uh, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, it is what it is. I'm, I'm, I'm willing to walk away from that particular fight. I can't. Because I'm just like, I can't cause it happens to me all the time. You don't say anything like that.

But I'm, that's, it could be like that to someone. Like someone could be offended by taking something the wrong way. I'm taking that. And that's a very specific statement that has a long history of not being okay. Even though she didn't mean it. Yeah. Even though she didn't mean it.

That's it. Even though she, I don't know what she meant. I don't know what she meant. She probably didn't. Immediate apology, not good enough. Yeah. Done. That first apology was not really an apology. You don't think so?

No, not the first one. Yeah, what would be good enough then? Well, you get a, you get a publicist to craft it a little better. Yeah, that's true. Plus I was ambien tweeting. Yeah, that was rough, but God damn I hate it. I agree with you on the bigger picture. We've got to be. As much as you want the government to not have any power.

I love jokes. I hate PC culture. Fucking hate it. It's part of what's ruining society. I can't think of one time where I've ever felt offended by a, I don't know, any kind of racist statement. Well, yeah. I guess it's just something we can't,

like isn't it bad fucking? I don't get to be offended by racist statements as far as like if it's at me. I mean, but that's a bad look too. Yeah, like this is the problem. This is the problem. This is indicative of the problem. A couple goofy tweets. Come on. You better have a bigger problem. Well, you know, we have a history of that too. We don't do

anything about the bigger stuff. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. As angry as everybody is at the tweet, where is, where is, where is any of that anger for the actual problems that people are, well, they're doing with. Yeah, no, no, it's non-existent. It's too much for most people to comprehend. It's there, a lot of the issues are just too, they're too large. It's this sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, It's this sick and in 140 characters or whatnot. Sick need to spike everything. Yeah.

Yeah. You fucked up a little bit. We are gonna spike the fuck out of you. Yeah, that's true. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Small tiny mistakes.

I hate it because I don't think anything is funny. And I think that's why. Like I think Sam Hyde is hilarious. And he makes those kinds of jokes all the time. Like he's always crossing the line on purpose. And he's banned from the internet now. No YouTube, no nothing, no show. It's a world I just don't want to live in.

I can't consume any content. It's also processed and milked toast. And I think it's making it worse. I think every explanation for the wild overreaction is making it worse. You know? Well, that's just me. Let me see here.

It's kind of sending to me too to pretend that that such a stupid comparison has so much power over people. Well, like if you're like the message I would prefer to hear is oh, you're offended by that. You need to buck the fuck up. That's not. Well, you know, we have gone from you said a long time ago, we've gone from sticks and stones to words hurt. Uh-huh. That was my mom's biggest fuck up. That one's sticks and stones. She told me all the time,

sticks and stones, words don't, sticks and stones, my break my bones, but words will never hurt. My fucking learned it, not knowing the rest of the world was big caught the opposite. Yeah. We just need like, we need debirs to swoop in that marketing company and come up with like an apology. Like, you know what, a racist joke apology,

two to three months salary, just donate it to the NAACP, right? That's funny. Yeah, that's all. That's all. Depeers. When it happens, two to three, you go down, you go, you find your local, it's like the it's the Catholic, it's just, here's our, say a bunch of our fathers and Hail Mary's

are. Yeah, we need that. We really do need that because it's, it's a better compromise than what we've got. Yeah. You go down, you find your, whoever, whoever you offended, whatever race, you find their little chapter, LaRassa and double a CP like JDL. Yeah. And you take the head of that to the jewelers. What is it for white people? To K's jewelers. Jerry Jones, you find the, or good, Roger Gadell, you take him to the to K jewelers, you pick out a nice ring. Swing it by whole foods.

Yeah, swing it by. You ask their parents, you gotta go, you know, learn about the culture. Maybe I just have this thing with like being told something that I already know. Well, you can't say that. I fucking know that you can't say black people. It's like, I gotta fucking know that already.

Everybody knows that. Stop saying it. Well, speech is free, but, it doesn't mean freedom from consequences. You know what? I would like to get a engineering train license and tie you to the tracks for how annoying it is to hear for the 10 millionth time

that speech is free, but consequences aren't. A little more complicated than that. Everything is a little more complicated than a fucking bumper sticker you idiot than a Gitter. Just say Gitter Done. Instead of all of those little lines and quips, not freedom of speech, not freedom from consequences,

Gitter Done. Gitter Done. All right, Gitter Done. Yeah. Oh, Rose, I'm sorry. Gitter Done. Just over and over and right. Get her done. Yeah. Oh Rose, I'm sorry. Get her done. Just over and over and over.

Be less annoying. Mm-hmm. Then these people raise like, read it. Just read me Sonic fan fiction. You fuck you compulsive motherfuckers. Sonic fan fiction. Oh God. That's not my never wanna hear.

Freedom from, freedom of speech, not freedom of consequences. Oh, go to your room. Go to your room. That's terrible that you would say that. Something that everybody knows, well, you know you, well, you know, you see the thing is that so many, as though all these anthropologists explaining to me why it's offensive in the first place,

well, you know, what happened was the comparison is that it was a black like, yeah, yeah. So you think, where do you think I live? Where do you think I'm from? Another planet of apes, perhaps, where I'm not familiar with these customs of what can not be said.

I know everybody knows that. You're not teaching us something you asshole. Well, maybe everybody but one person knows that. You're not, you're not teaching us something you asshole. Well, maybe everybody but one person knows that. Everybody, she knows it too. That's the whole point. Everybody knows that. You're saying that she couldn't have possibly meant it as racist.

She probably did not. I'm saying she probably didn't. The odds are staggering. That she would just suddenly decide after a lifetime of being a female comedian. Yeah. I mean, like, I don't like identity politics and shit. I know.

I'm sure that a female comedian has at one point or another helped a minority out. Yeah. You know what I mean? Over a long career of being a professional. And you got people say, well, if she was joking, she could have been crafted better. What the fuck? What do you think?

You are a better comedian than Roseanne? Is that's where we're at? That's how up your own house, you fuck. That's what you actually think. No wonder it's so easy to sell you this story. You're a fucking genius. You're a mind reader and the funniest committee in the world. Funny or the,

well all my friends tell me so. Yeah, when I play cards against humanity, I'm hilarious. Yeah. Yeah, the genius is not just which card to pull for which person. A bunch of fucking mind readers. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you really don't, you really don't know. You really don't know.

It was probably not what you think. No, it was because what you really don't know. You really don't know. I don't know. It's probably not what you think. No, it's pretty. Because what you think is very, very unlikely. Yeah, it is unlikely. It is unlikely. Yep. I'll give you that. You got two stories.

One of them fits reality pretty easily. The other takes many, many statistical leaps and jumps and bizarre decisions. Very bizarre decisions. Could fucking be, you know, now anyway. And Amian makes you, I guess, these people get up and just fucking raid the fridge and have no memory of it in the morning. There's all these dishes out on the counter and pots and pans in the sink and they jerk off to get a gap horn. I mean, if Ambien does that, I mean, that's what I tell people. Change your preference.

I was an Ambien. I was a bunch of... I've never taken Ambien. I've taken it. Yeah. I have a hard time. Like, I have a high resistance to sleeping drugs and sleeping in general. Yeah.

Yeah, you always have. It kind of sucks. If you fight it off, it makes you very weird and loopy and still awake. And still awake puts you in like a haze. All right. I'm gonna, I do have another thing that makes me rage. I'll talk about it next time.

Well, you know what? No, I'll load it up right now. That's kind of funny. Maybe you'll talk about it next time. Well, you know what? No, I'll load it up right now. It's kind of funny. Maybe you'll find it funny, Sean. Okay. Don't worry, there's no potentially racist things. But I'm not worried. I know how sensitive you are.

I say I'm all the time. Ha ha ha. And no, on the show, I make jokes all the time. Yeah. Do it all the time. You know, we just still haven't got my wallet back from Denzel. We need to have more respect for comedians, okay? Because they're out there on the front lines trying to army guys?

Air in some office, somewhere in Utah flying drones around, okay? Give me a break, I'm just kidding, guys. But give me a break, our comedians are the ones facing down angry lynch mobs Well, let's destroy their personal and professional reputation at least write something funny on the drones. Yeah OBS people like before you blow up a wedding, you know like a you know, congratulations Yeah, they didn't cancel the military Yeah, they didn't cancel the military. Right. That's funny.

Rosanne, one fucked up, tweet military fucking blows up hospitals all the time. They still get their show. Yeah. They don't pull their reruns. No. They don't cancel the history channel. Let's have some perspective. Oh, that's funny.

Oh, God. One screw up. Ah, military, we canceled them. Let's have some perspective. Oh, it's funny. Oh, God. One screw up. Ah, military, we cancel them. Let's see here. There's been a lot of obese stuff in the news. OBE's people should start work later to ease Russian hour anxiety. Because a lot of, I think most heart attacks happen

in the morning. Oh, yeah. I believe so, yeah. I believe. Oh, man, I saw some other article about these women doing a body positive campaign for obesity. Oh yeah. Yeah, two big, big old ladies.

Yeah. It's like, but they're selling it to other large women, right? Like, it's like, it's like, largely on large women crying. Being okay, being okay with it. Yeah. But they're just going after each other. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, they're not hurting anyone else. They're just hurting each other. It's like the 90s, like gang wars and 90s. Large women just encouraging each other to have heart attacks. Oh, God. I thought that was funny. Here's the one, here's the survey I wanted to show you.

Okay. This is an okay cupid survey. Okay, cupid always has these interesting data presentations because they have such interesting data at their fingertips, right? Who responds to whom? Sure. Like race related data, income related data,

location related data, opening line related data, response related data. And they've been around for a long time. Yeah. Here was one that I thought was great, and it explains the entire in-sell movement, in my opinion. In-tire what? In-sell.

Oh, about these guys. In-sell. Yeah, it's called in-sells, or guys that hate women because they can't have a romantic relationship with one. Is that short for in-sell? How do you spell it? I-N-C-E-L.

Like Elliott Rogers, that got to it killed that shot all those people. Yeah, you couldn't get a girlfriend. You couldn't get laid. They say it's not about getting laid, but it's was that was that the kid from Santa Barbara? Or was that another? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Yeah, he hated women because everything or he projected all of his, you know, rage or coming. Yeah, all right, I get laid. But he probably was he probably was swinging out of his league, you know? Who knows?

That's always the, if you can't get laid. Well, he seems like, I think a lot of it was standards. Well, I think, I think that like, he didn't really try a lot of the, like, some of these guys don't, don't, where it was just they, he thought it would come to him. Well, no, or he thought that that would be their reactions. Or he just sees the way that they act and then feels like he's, they're doing it to him. Oh, he's just a lunatic then. That makes even more sense.

This was how men rate women on okay, cupid. It's just lean over a little bit so you can see it. I'll try to put it in the video. Okay, this is great. How men rate women. Okay. It looks like a How men rate women? Okay. It looks like a bell curve. Yes it does.

Where the middle is rated ordinarily attractive. The very top most attractive, men rate 6% of women most attractive and least attractive is also 6%. And then as the attractiveness grows from least attractive, so do the votes. And then as it peaks in the middle. So most are five, six, what are five, six? And then as it climbs up to most attractive, the votes start trapping as well.

That's what you'd think, right? Yes, that's what I was thinking. Matches reality. I think so, right? Yeah. Here's how women rate men. Least attractive, 30%. Next, 30%. Next, 30%. And then it falls off a cliff like a skate

race. So it looks nothing like a bell curve. It looks like reality. No, because what are the odds that one gender is going to be much much uglier than the other. This is the greatest insight into women and online dating I've ever seen. And it means Elliott Rogers was right. Like look at, there's no data that could more conclusively prove that the in cells are fucking right. What was women fake men are hideous trolls, ugly trolls, and they hate us.

That is well known that they attracted to none of us. But you're in, okay, yeah, but you're inferring that they hate us. That is well that they attracted to none of us. But you're in, okay, yeah, but you're inferring that they hate us. Look at this. It's awful. This is what they think of us. They're not attracted to us at all. Right. Yeah. Right. Radar attractiveness. They showed him a hundred guys. Ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly. How many people were surveyed and I don't know. It's okay. Kube would so I would think a little. Yeah, that? I don't know. It's okay, you've been so alive. I would think, you know, that's the thing. They've got all the data. That's the thing.

They just pulled data and make this shit. That is depressing. It is really depressing. So, if you're worried about how you look to women, you should be. Don't worry because they think we're all ugly. Yeah, right. That's it. Everybody's in the pool. We're all swimming in the same pool.

Literally everybody's in the bottom half. Look at that. Let's count this up. This is what women would say are above a five. Like, let's say, let's call this end of the spectrum one and this end to 10. So women think, oh, zero, most attractive. They couldn't even get a rounding error on that one.

Two is the second level. Two, five, percent seven, and I'll split this one in half and call it six. Women think 13% of men are above a five. That's amazing. That's amazing. Wow. I wonder why a lot of guys hate them.

Because I even feel like fucking monsters. Yeah. Yeah. Oh God. I know. I've been thinking about that graph for like two weeks. It's so funny. That's awful.

Man, right on the, just as true to life as you would think it is. How attractive are they? Perfect bell curve. Yep. Perfect. Yep. Women only bitching. All the guys are ugly as hell on a dragon. That is incredibly damning to me.

Yeah. It really fucking is. Yeah. Uh, do it again. Like do it again. Are you guys sure? Yeah. Are you sure that they knew what you were asking them?

Yeah. Yeah. We ran it a bunch of times. They all came back worse every time. The more they looked at you guys, the uglier they thought. This was the best case scenario. So people keep using our site. Yeah. Give us some fucking Snapchat filters or something for God's sake.

Like what are we two to fix this gap? Yeah. Bronze are getting, they're getting, I wonder what age group that was, just like everybody. The whole site. Dating age, I guess. You know, women are at their most picky.

Yeah. Their sexual prime, highest, highest sexual market value. Maybe that's what this is saying. When they, like they, yeah, there's a lot of, you know. They know they can be, they're not beggars yet, they know they can be they're not beggars yet They know they can be choosers. Yeah, yeah, they are yeah But these are the women you'd probably want to fuck I Mean as far as like looks I'm sure look at the other let's go the ones. Yeah, I like this should be a one-to-one

But it's not only there's a small percentage of guys that are attractive enough to fuck, completely unlike the other craft. Unbelievable. We need our own Snapchat filters. Like let's get some filters that make us look a little muscular or richer, you know? Put a collar on the shirt.

Put a diamond grill on. Let's get some, get some, just put big piles of money like breaking bad in the background Help us out a little bad your mother fuckers You just you're making women look like dogs and cats and making their eyes big and shit. We don't get anything You need it need it more than them God damn All right, I'm gonna read a I'm gonna read this erotic story. Ooh

I'm gonna read this erotic story. Ooh. Oh. The Dixho presents an erotic story from a real man. Armful opinions. Okay, where are we, where are we, where are we? This one's from Dr. Senpai. Okay.

Hey, Dick, I'd like to tell you about an erotic story of Nudes cross-country travel, livestream masturbation, and inevitably getting cucked by some greasy dude. So far, I've been friends with this girl on the other side of the country for a while now. Our Facebook conversations would mainly consist of just ship posting back and forth and bitching about life. I'd never had a girlfriend, and she'd always had a boyfriend for as long as I'd known her. So I never thought of her as a possible romantic partner until one day late last year.

We were chatting one night and then out of the blue she asked if I want to see new dudes. Well, I was a bit taken aback since well no one had ever asked me this question before. Yeah. After about two solid minutes of thinking, I agreed. And she forwarded me an entire folder of spank material. That's a bad start. Right? Thinkingin' maybe these are, these are seconds, sloppy seconds of nudes. Nobody wants that. I'll look at him, but I don't want it. But you're not gonna enjoy them.

Yeah, she's probably the sole reason I became an ass man. Oh, right. Next thing you know, next thing you should know about this girl is that she has a, she has seemingly had more asshole ex-boyfriends than Taylor Swift and Ramona from Scott Pilgrim combined. They ranged to Gambit from manic depressive guys who tried dumping all their problems on her to some musclehead who straight up raped her once. Little...

Short, straight up. Wow. Shortly, he was trying to lessen the blow by adding some spicy comedy to it. I think he strengthened it. Shortly, after her last break up, she blow by adding some spicy comedy to it. I think he strengthened it. Shortly after her last break up, she was telling me all the gory details and just generally being depressed and drunk. The day after this, I got news for you buddy. She's dated all crazy guys. She's crazy. Might not seem like it, but she is. Yep.

The day after this, I finally confessed to her that I liked her too. This was probably my first mistake. She confessed that she liked me too but she didn't want to be anybody's rebound. Shortly after this she sent me more nudes. Shortly after that I beat the fuck out of my dick like it owed me money. Stupidly convinced that I may or may not have a girlfriend. I'd already began planning a trip to the other side of the country for a few months due to my sister graduating from college. So I asked her if she wanted to hang out since she was a two-hour drive away from where I would be. She enthusiastically agreed. It was this combined with a guy I knew getting his leg cut off due to diabetes that I decided to stop being a fat fuck. In the span of

about six or seven months I went from 250 to 196. God damn. That's good. Wow, that's a lot of weight. Yeah. As our conversations went further, I got the impression that she was actually willing to go to the bone zone with me. Mm-hmm. After the message she sent me,

after receiving a Christmas present I had sent her, oh no. Shit, he has the A version of the N word here. I'm fucking you unprotected for all this. Whoa. Or the time she offered to sit on my face for getting her some anime bullshit off eBay. Sounds like you're a sugar daddy.

But anime fan too. She's definitely crazy. I should note that this wasn't a Bimey shit to show you love me relationship. Well, I think in total, I spent 70 bucks on it, which is less than when I spent another friend. Okay. Or the time she mentioned that she was by and willing to do anal, hmm, that'll get you every time you get that by hook in you. That's hard to walk away from. It got to the point that I actually spent 20 bucks on a pair of designer underpants to wear when I came to sphere. Have you ever

done that? Oh, specifically for that? No, it's a good idea. Yeah. Get some kelvin climbs on you. Yeah. It's kind of with no fly in front, so you got to take them off no matter what. There you go. It's good move. The whole beautiful disaster peaked one night when we were video chatting with one another after talking for a few hours. I mentioned that I very nearly sent her a video of me jerking off. Instead of immediately ending the call and cutting it off all contact like anyone else would, she said she would have been fine with it.

Of course, you would have been fine with it. One thing led to another and I ended up whacking my gag to completion in front of her via Facebook video chat. Okay. I hung up whacking my gag to completion in front of her via Facebook video chat. Okay. I hung up. This was our text conversation. This never happened. I'm joining you next time.

Christ would have had done. Chicks love that. They love the old rope dope videos. To them. Yeah. I'm thinking about you. I'm thinking about you. I love it. So with about a week and a half before the deed is about to be done, she messages me about problems that she's been having involving her axis.

After spending a while attempting to play counselor and convince her that it wasn't her fault that they were all assholes, it is. She drops the bombshell that, hey, she's getting back together with her last-poi friend. So a manic depressive, greasy, long-haired fat fuck and two, despite seemingly agreeing to do so, she didn't actually wanna have sex with me when I came to her house.

Did she mention that she told me all of this on my birthday yet because that happened? So in the end, I learned a few things, don't count your chickens before they hatch. Yeah. The biggest motivators for losing weight are pussy and diabetes. And three, designer underpants are surprisingly worth the cost. Chits comfy and looks great.

Keep up the good work on the show. A road rage Seattle ever happens. I'll buy you some beer and a lap dance, whatever the fuck. Go fuck yourself, Dr. Senpai. Only you can go. Well, they see spun at positive. I learned three things. You've been listening to neurotic stories from real men.

A month's long. Brought to you. Erotic. Dick Shoe. Jack Off, picture sending, relationship. But he lost 50 plus pounds. 50 plus pounds, how about that? Good for you, buddy.

Okay, I'm gonna read these in the morning to the voice males. Reddit rage, sun, shan galt. What makes me rage this week is medical doom sayers, people who over blow your health problems, have a cough, better check that out, it might be bronchitis. Complain about muscle pain, better go to the doctor before you're crippled. Stomachache might be an ulcer, go to the ER. If I wanted advice, I'd go to WebMD or an actual doctor, not my friends, co-workers. I think what's the success rate on a unlicensed medical advice?

One in a billion maybe. For all the times that I've heard it. I don't know. You should waste the day getting an MRI. Yeah. And then you should go to physical therapy for six weeks. Get the hell out of here. I'm gonna wait and see how it is tomorrow. Yeah, I'll just not. Mm-hmm. Not everything can be fixed.

Yeah, rip certain groups trying to make everything a feminist issue. Women are the real victims of war. One in four homeless people are women. Women are more affected by global warming these men. These poor suffering women only get 50% custody of their kids. Look off, not everything has to be about your vagina.

Have you ever seen that women are the real victims of war because they lose their husbands and sons? I think it's a Hillary Clinton tweet. Insane. Yeah, not the victim. Yeah, it's not the dead guy. They can also be victims. It doesn't have to be the real,

yeah, I know I know what it is. Like, you didn't need to add that little stinger on the end of it, you bitch. Women are. Women are also victims of war. Yeah, but that doesn't appeal to the demo, right? Right. They want to be the demo, right? Right. It want to be the real victim.

True. Oh, nippo the clown. What the hell's nippo the clown? That's his name. People who use their mental health issues as the forefront of their identity. Yeah. Like in the first few minutes of a conversation, they'll bring up being bipolar, having anxiety or casually mention their therapist.

Look, all of us have our demons, and that's nothing to be ashamed of, but when the first thing I need to know was your mental illness, tells me you treat your lifestyle accessory, like veganism or an activist. Yeah. And it is annoying.

Javed Sanders says, my wife and I just had a baby, the thing about having a baby, you might not realize is that once you bring the baby out in public, all kinds of strangers will see your child and think this is an excuse to talk to somebody they don't know. The conversation with a total stranger brought up by the appearance of my child always follows the exact same

script every fucking time. Oh, she's so little, how old? Ah, I fucking, it's just like the dog thing, but they got more questions to ask you. Oh, how old is it? How old is, oh, she looks small. Oh, he looks big. Like, what is, what do you get out of this?

I don't know. What do you get out of having the same conversation? Do you think, like when you, like when you have a cast on or anything like that, you ask people what they do for work? I will go so far out of my way to just try not to ask people where they're from or what they do for work.

Like that's the one thing we can do for each other is never ask anyone about their jobs, right? Because it's, yeah, I don't know. I mean, it could come from just wanting to connect with somebody, you know, like it's... We need like a know what to talk about. I hate to say this, but we need like a pack of playing cards or randomized openers. Give the... So it's cards against humanity for humanity.

For humanity. Or you can pull it out and it gives you a better question than where are you from? What do you do? Yeah. You know? Yeah. What do you think about Roseanne? That'd be a good opener. Oh. Yeah. Maybe not. Maybe that's not such a good idea.

Yeah. You probably get some long conversation started. Yeah. I wouldn't get anything done. Um. Oh, Antoids is here. Hey, Antoids, are you there, man? Welcome to biggest problem in the universe uncuck.

The segment where we discuss every cut in the podcast from Stammers to Strong Men, with over 3.5 million edits I'm your reverse audio engineer, Antoids. Yeah, Antoids is the guy that does the supercuts of the Biggest Problem Uncuck. Yes, he found a great one last week with the one that we talked about.

Yeah, me agreeing with George Zimmerman. I must have listened to that a hundred times after the show. I saw a ton of people making really funny edits and jokes off of that too. Somebody found where the yeah was. So you owe that guy a five. Immediately after that clip, which I somehow missed. So the yeah, it was from the episode. It was from two seconds later in that episode.

So if you look at that episode, I say, yeah. And then immediately after I say, yeah, again, that was how that was the level of audio engineering of that. Well, that won't sound weird if I take the exact same, yeah, and put it, it really was like the Lenny Gravidson. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, buddy, you got any good stuff for us this week for this round of episodes? Yeah. I sent you an email with it. I don't know if you checked or not. Okay. Let me look. If you want to just do the one that says plug. Okay. I've got plug A, plug B and plug Cucked. Is that right? Perfect.

Okay, do you want to give us a short explanation of what we're about to listen to? Yeah, totally. So what's going on is basically it's the end of the show. You guys are about to summarize the problems. You have the dating advice girl as your guest. Oh, God. You're about to... You basically, you've just recorded summarizing your problems. Okay. And what are we going to hear? What's the... Something, some argument.

Yeah, what's the twist? What's the twist? It's just Maddox being incredibly petty about who gets credit for being the nice guy. What should I play first? A then B then cut. OK, here comes A. And this is the raw version. Right, this is the uncut version. OK, here it goes.

Dick, any voicemail songs? Well, let's say what would you like to plug? While you were here. Oh, okay. So we may have had some differing opinions, area. Yeah, but you guys are awesome. This is so fun. Thank you.

I don't want everyone to agree with me all the time. It's boring. Hmm. That's interesting. I think I don't know what that means. All right, so. Dick's unfamiliar with this concept of disagreement. Oh, I love it.

No, thanks for having me. Again, my name is Erin Somen. Okay, that's sounded totally normal and natural. Are you saying that that was perturbed? That was twisted around in some way? Yeah, I don't think Mattics approved of it. And you'll see why in part B. Okay, I'm playing B now.

And this is from the raw version too, or this is a, right? This is, this is after she records her plug. Okay. I think I should, I think I should jump straight to the cucked version, to be honest. Okay. Sure. Go ahead. Okay. Okay. So let's see, let's see how Maddx changed that, right? Okay. It's because it seemed totally innocuous, friendly, totally nice podcast banter, right? So let's see what happens. Okay. This is this is what was released to the general public All right guys. Oh and Aaron before we go. Do you have anything you wanted to plug? No, thanks for having me My website the dating and face girl

I am on a bunch of Dating advice to your L and Instagram at dating The dating advice you can't believe it right going to link to it on the website as well as a picture we took a bunch of wow How magnanimous of Maddox to ask the guys to plug her shit instead of You want You can't. You're out. You wanna hear that again? Yeah. Okay, this is what actually happened in the room. Dick, any voicemails on you? Well, let's say what would you like to plug while you were here?

Oh, okay. So you may have had some differing opinions, aren't you? Yeah, but you guys are awesome. This is so fun. Thank you. I don't want everyone to agree with me all the time. It's boring. Oh, huh. Yeah, that's interesting. Okay, I don't want everyone to agree with me all the time. Oh, huh. Yeah.

That's interesting. Okay. I don't know what that means. All right. So on familiar with this concept of disagreement. Oh, I love it. No, thanks for having me. Again, my name is Aaron Sillman. Uh-huh. So he never he never said, would you like to plug anything? So where did he get that? I don't know. I want to hear the edited version. I record that. I record that later. Here want to hear the edited version. Record that later. Here's what everyone else said. Hold up, hold up. Or what did it happen after that little interlude?

All right, guys. Oh, and Aaron, before we go, do you have anything you wanted to plug? No, thanks for having me. Again, my name is Aaron. What a massive baby. He has to be the one that gets credit for... The fuck? Letting you get spugged. Okay, and you did find where did you find where the audio was that he got that from?

Yeah, it's just a little bit later actually. Okay, that's just like he tells you, hey Sean, I'm gonna throw a... Oh, he did a pick up. A plug request. Okay, so he did a pick up there. Okay, let me hear that. Oh, short. Short.

Short. And Sean, I'm going to do a toss to this so we can patch it in before I announce the end of the show. Right here, so I'm just gonna say, Oh, and Aaron, before we go, do you have anything you wanted to plug? Why, I said it. I should get credit for being mine.

I don't want to be in a pickup. Oh my God. So, Aaron, do you have anything you'd like to plug? Yes, yes I do. Oh my god, so Aaron Do you have anything you'd like to plug yes, yes, I do Just do your version Yeah Yeah, yeah, I'm repeating all my stuff or no, I was just like Let me do it. Well, thanks for remembering that cuz I appreciate all right. Oh Yeah, I do I got some I got some All right. Oh, oh, yeah, I do. I got some I got some voice mills. Oh, yeah, so anyway, he

just like he says it's for a clean cut. Yeah, I that cut sounded fine to me the original. Yeah, the original sounded fine. What a fucking half So So there's so much petty process. Yeah, like, uh, the week was pretty light on cuts, but what was just him being a huge baby the entire time. Like what? Uh, like there's one where you're taught he's talking about, uh, when corporations advertise to stoners and he has some bit where he like you're saying oh you know weed's not that bad and he says oh yeah well who enacted all the regulation

against weed was it was it Ronald Reagan and you just are kind of like yeah he was very oppressive and I don't know why you're trying to like get a rise out of me like yeah Reagan fucked up with that Yeah, and then and then he uh He said you say something like yeah, well, I don't want anybody to break the law like I don't encourage that and he's like oh But cyclists you say that cyclists break the law all the time and he goes off He goes off for like they do yeah and then that was all cut yeah of course everything from him bringing up Reagan to his entire rant out of uh... biceps and he also he also recorded something in post for that as well

where he said um... he could like recorded a segue where he just says oh we're getting off topic and then goes in post Yeah, you can tell Yeah, yeah, the the background noise is different. Oh, do you have that? I don't have it ready But I think I uploaded it already on you Why did anybody like this show? All the humanity all the humanity and and realness was sucked right out of it I'm so glad I never listened to yours.

I wasn't a audio person. It's butchered. Wait, man, we got to find the different background noise one. It's in your super cut. Give me just a second. Yeah, let me just find that. I'm not going to be able to do that. It's butchered. Wait, man, we gotta find the different background noise one. It's in your super cut. Give me just a second.

Yeah, let me just find that one. I am actually a little bit surprised that I didn't go ahead and do that edit that we talked about off air. Usually I would do that. Oh yeah. I don't know if I was, if I let it print and I don't know. Well, it sounded like a mess. I mean, you probably realize it.

It sounded like a mess. Okay, hey, I have it on YouTube. I'm gonna put it in the chat right now. Okay. Oh, I love these. God damn. Fucking mental patient. Okay, where's the part that was recorded afterwards?

That's what I want to hear. If you go to the Copt version. Three minutes, 35 seconds around there. Okay, so this is... It should be in the Copt version because you did it afterwards, right? Okay, let's see. Well, is it okay to do drugs while you're riding around?

It's illegal. Yeah, it's illegal. All right. So, by the way. Oh, wait, what did you prove there? It's illegal. Don't do it. Yeah, okay.

So are you talking about drugs or what? I'm talking about driving a bicycle while intoxicated. It's very dangerous and it's illegal. Don't do it. Doing drugs in your own home? No big fucking deal, man. Do it. But we're getting way off topic here. Oh, yeah. There's Sonic and it's hallucinating 20 something. That you thought that was recorded separately? Yeah, where he just says we're getting off topic, which is definitely not in the segment that he cut. What episode was this? 61?

61. Let me hear that again. I don't know if that's recorded separately. Do it. But we're getting way off topic here. Oh, yeah. There is a- Oh, I'm not talking.

Yeah, listen to how I cut completely out and then immediately back in. On home, no big fucking deal, man. Yeah. Do it. But we're getting way off topic here. Oh, yeah. There's, uh, there's Sonic and it's a. Huh.

Well, you're. You say, oh, yeah, after. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see. No big fucking deal, man. Yeah. Do it.

But we're getting way off topic here. Oh, yeah. There's, uh, there's Sonic and it's. Huh. You think so? You can share like the volume of his voice and the way that he's speaking is different. I don't know. I'm gonna need more. I'm gonna need more analysis on that. You know, because it sounds like our mics. That sounds like our. It's not drastically. I mean, because usually he uses like his shitty condenser in the other room or what I mean, although, you know, I don't know. I don't know if he knew how to open

Pro Tools and. Oh, I don't know. He didn't even have set up was like I assume we used to bring it. He's done it in the studio. Yeah. We used to know the studio was all ours. It was all my equipment. Yeah, I used to bring my I used to bring my rack and I brought the interface and the computer. Maybe he got it from elsewhere in the episode then. Possibly. Well, you're gonna have a fun week this week because the episode's seven, so is everybody else.

Was that the what you were gone? Yeah, it's gonna be episode 71 through 80, next week. And there's also the libertarian problem that that week too all four yeah this was this was the week that's the end of the show uh... basically that libertarian shit and the wedding happy to have one more uh... i don't have this uploaded or anything but one more that i wanted to point out because i thought it was funny uh... during the drop box, there's some issue where

like a slash was misplaced on the website. And he talks about how like you don't care about security or you would have been. Yeah, I remember this. Yeah. And what I find really funny about that though is you tell them like, oh, you had the credentials, man. You could have signed in.

Maddox is so proud of being a quote unquote programmer yeah like yeah it seems like it would be trivial for him if if he was such a great mind to fix a misplaced slash yeah uh... remember that i i have some of his code i think oh my god you know what uh... shan found shan found the hard drive with the original

live youtube shows of the big problem with the original live YouTube shows of the biggest problem in the universe. That's incredible. I now have completely unedited the video and audio for the YouTube shows. Hey, I'm gonna get a lawsuit. It's my fucking hard drive. Yeah, no, it's your drive.

I can't believe you have that. Yep. Yeah, okay, anyway, Antoids, thank you. Thank you so much for doing these. They're great. I can't believe you had that. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Anyway, Antoids, thank you. Thank you so much for doing these. They're great. I look forward to them every week. I look forward to your super cut more than the,

more than the releases themselves. I think everybody does. Cause you like you find such absolutely humiliating gems. I just, you can totally see the way that his mind works and something is cut. Yeah. like how petty a man he is. Yeah. All right, buddy. Get out of here. All right, later. See ya. See ya. See ya.

It's a lot of work. It is that he does. I know the episodes are nowhere near as long as what we record, but still. Yeah. Okay. Check out page round.com slash the dick show dick. Show. Um, I'll see you in road rage down. I'll see you in Dallas. Road rage. Dallas. Is there anything else I'm supposed to plug? I don't know, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna go ahead and do a pick up so I get to say, is there anything else you're supposed to plug? So dick, is there anything you want to plug? Yeah. Yeah. Patreon.com slash the DickShow, Dick.Show, the DickShow.com.

I'll see you next Tuesday. This is by Sean Humanity. It's called Armenian Genocide II, Electric Coffeyes. Oh, boys. Oh, cool, man. Very cool. I got a Sean song too. Oh great. Yeah, let me play that. I'll play it next week by Todd Sidelas. Billboard charting album artist.

Oh, it's cool man. All these remixes and remakes and not one of them sounds like any other one. No, that's really interesting. Yeah. Pressure's a little snowflakes. Sean, each and every one. Hey, Dix, since you're holding a mustard eating contest in Dallas, you should know we have strong opinions on mustard in Texas. You know what I also want to do?

I'm interested, because I love mustard. Me too. I love mustard. I'm interested to see what they like down there. Sometimes I wake up after a really, really rough night, like a werewolf coming out of like a man who is a werewolf at night and then eats animals and he wakes up with blood all over his face.

Yeah, back as a man except I wake up with mustard all over my face. C'mustered werewolf. Wow. That's what I turn it to a mustard werewolf. And there's just empty, salty, box, salty, cracker boxes. You can dipping crackers in mustard. Probably in my mixing them together in my mouth. There's the fancy cracker boxes all torn.

You can see my progression. Spooning mustard and then shoving together in my mouth. There's the fancy cracker boxes. You can see my progression. I'm spooning mustard and then shoving crackers in. Yeah, with my hands, spooning it in with my hands. I've done it. We don't want to see you scarf down brown or Dijon mustard, like some damn Yankee. I wouldn't, I don't want to check that. Or whatever mustard avocado mustard,

y'all eat in the city of failure. Don't fucking y'all me, you motherfuckers. So what are they like? You disrespectfully y'all eat in the city of failure. Don't fucking y'all me, you motherfuckers. So what are they like? Don't disrespectfully y'all at me. So everything's fair. I offered to bring you two bottles of Waterburger Mustard, dueling style for your face off against peach.

I'll even throw in local booze to sweeten the deal. Yeah, Waterburger Mustard. What is it, just yellow mustard? Yeah, like fast food mustard. So they're like shit mustard. Okay. Yeah, just yellow mustard? Yeah. Like fast food mustard. So they're like shit mustard. Okay. Yeah, I guess a water burger mustard there. Water burger does a lot of research.

Okay, let's go Facebook news. Facebook's shadow band, the Facebook group is. Yeah, somebody told me that this morning. Big trouble, big trouble. And then had to explain to me what a shadow band was. Sucks. Yeah, and then it made sense. Yeah, participation fell off a cliff, because nobody sees...

Yeah, I saw the crowd. Everybody sees their stupid friends now. Yeah, I saw the crowd. Instead of just dick-shuff stuff. Hello, dick and hello, dick-heads. This is the Facebook Room News for the last couple days. The previous news for this week had to be scrapped because of recent developments in the Dictual Facebook Group.

The previous news covered Asian landlords, police tickets, and a couple fights. recent developments in the Dictuille Facebook group. The previous news covered Asian landlords, police tickets, and a couple fights. This new news, however, will cover the catastrophic events that have led to the Dictuille Facebook groups shadow ban. Members in the group are no longer seeing the Facebook group in their news feed, as well as not getting a notification when friends post to the group.

Post have very little to no activity despite having almost 5,000 members. There are two possible culprits for the shadow ban of the group. Post have very little to no activity despite having almost 5,000 members. There are two possible culprits for the Shadow Band of the group. To begin, late last week a gentleman had taken a picture of his cock and managed to get it in a Facebook group chat of only women of the Dixiel. The gentleman wanted to know if any of them were interested in having sex with him. Carry Groan heard this man's frame as frail and disgusting despite the above average length of said con we know this gentleman began to cry and carry was eventually forced to

leave the jet because he was being called a bully this gentleman is the other face for the gun soft the second shit had in question is Jacob Mactionoff who late last week got into it with clay early in Clay's discord oh clay said he was a fan of former Dixho guess Aiden Pellet and's work, and from there on, Jacob absolutely lost it. He barrage Clay's Facebook DMs with 10 manic messages after the incident, they got increasingly more aggressive as Clay continued to ignore him. Thanks to a few autists who were members of both Reddit and Facebook, it appears Jacob

began in boxing members and mass with banable content, spamming people, reporting content, and eventually getting himself zuck not only from Facebook, but the group as well. This combined with Clay's previous incident with Kayleigh Rose, otherwise known as the Bedshitter, have seemingly resulted in a half-zuck shadow band of the Dictual Facebook group. Oh, no. This is truly the most adverse of challenges that the Dixiel Facebook group is ever- It's good reporting. It's good reporting. We're going to make it out of this, okay.

Oh, Dustin, you got to write that shit. And the Dixiel Facebook group news. Yeah. It's a couple days. You got to crack down on these, on these, you can't be letting reporting getting out of control. You got to control.

It's got to be some, some semblance of order. Yeah, you have to control. It's got to be some, some semblance of order. Yeah. You have to. Um, that's too bad. Yeah. Do you want to hear his other news? Yeah.

I do. I always want to hear one of my favorite seconds. Me too. Hello, Dick and hello, Dick Hats. This is the Facebook Room news for the last couple days. JT asked why the fuck do Americans call Lieutenant left, tenant? can't answer it with Americans don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Who the fuck says that? A mother bitch, a retard, and the group determined their

after that that's actually a weird British thing. JT responded again by calling the group a bunch of beta bitches and never returned to the post again. Johnny Olson wanted to face with groups of pinning on Chinese landlords. Responses include start a fire, pay and cash, take good pictures of the place, their poor English is a front to trick you, over 10 comments comparing Chinese landlords to Jews, and even more comments telling Johnny

to basically lawyer up and take good pictures of the place before you move in. Last week's end. Last week's end. And last week's end. Last week's end. What was the last thing you got pulled over for? Three dickheads at a DUI offered. Geholic was driving in the wrong lane.

Mitchell was speeding with no insurance or registration and also happened to be drunk. Supposedly got off with a ticket. Tiaran was ticketed $160 for drinking on a train. And lastly, Result was really 50 in a sprues on. So lastly was going to be 50 screws on what would want to explain that it actually wasn't that big of a deal. This has been the actual Facebook

list. Drinking on a train. Drinking on a train. I mean, that shouldn't be a thing. Do you know, have you seen her T.R. in the group? No, no. It's very pretty.

Blonde, I think she's, I think she's Australian. Yeah. I don't know. Very gorgeous little blonde girl. It's even the water. Yeah, just drinking on a drink. Bitch, you, that'll be 170 bucks. Fuck you.

Oh. Okay. That shouldn't be a thing. No. Just having a couple drinks. Remember, you went, you went back to the time we were in the London Zoo. Oh, when I made, yeah, when I made a girl of stating. Yeah, because we didn't, we didn't really believe her and you asked the cop in there. Yeah, I made, I

made, I mean, you're not, you're not going to do anything crazy, right? I made the British girl go ask the cop if I could, she told me that I could drink a beer at the zoo. Yeah. And then I didn't believe her. So I made her go ask her. Because we're men from America. Yeah. Where we're in an authoritarian theocracy over here where we can't drink outside or see

nipples on Instagram. That's why. I made her ask a cop and then the cop asked, well, you're not going to do anything weird, are you? Then we're all good. It's asked, well, you're not gonna do anything weird, are you? Then we're all good. It's like, wow, that's a weird feeling. A cop asking me if I'm gonna do anything weird. Now I really need to take some personal responsibility.

Usually when cops talk to me, I immediately wanna do weird stuff. Yeah. Hey you, stop what you're doing. Well, now I wanna do whatever I'm doing way we're doing. No, you do, yeah. And more of it. Every time I see one of those cop beat down videos, I'm like, I wonder, I would like one of

those. I would like one of those. I would like a cop to scream at me saying, stop resisting arrest while he awkwardly punches me with the butt of when a very strange, like obviously, like a reverting to a childlike brawl state where he's obviously not using any of his training Yeah, so I don't believe for a second that this is by the book, right? Yeah Well, I'm laughing like a fight club scene. You know where I've been Lou Rest

I think that's a goal in my life boy. I'd like some body cam footage of me. You'll get there resisting arrest. You'll get there one day. That in a green card marriage. I don't know what it would be. I want like a whole 80s bucket list package. Resisting arrest. Green card marriage.

Green card marriage. Winning a karate tournament. Oh wow. I got to do my silly pants skating routine that's obviously up there okay play some voice emails edick no one makes me a rage convoluted idea that every single woman in the world deserves respect

why what the fuck did you do today that means you deserve respect? You went to Duncan Donuts three times and got some fucking sugar and festive drink Or you watched the kid all day at the house? Epichain. Oh man who sleep for 14 hours and then you just watch a bunch of fucking doctor who pumpkin spice and looking on lions Like I see all these things everywhere about doctor who hey, yeah You know what do women watch? like I see all these fucking things everywhere about Dr. Who? Yeah, you know, fucking sense. What do women watch? Who is who the doctor who survey says?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Most occasionally because they go through and do a lot for us males. They deserve respect and to have a honest man who cares for her utmost. What? Yeah. What does she do for us? She doesn't do shit. She's having a fucking cow's all day No, I don't fucking get it Here goes my own

Okay, no, you listen I don't Hang on my wife just got home. I don't understand respect I think think. Like as much as a lot of people don't understand comedy, I think I fundamentally don't understand the concept of respect. Respect is earned. And is it like a bitcoins? How is it?

Well, it's earned by somebody's actions and what they do. What is it? What is it? Yeah. Well, everybody's always talking about it. About it. No respect. It's just to let the fuck is what do you mean? It's a way of, well, you know about it. By the way, people have talked to you. There were you're like,

if you were a man, I would jerk you over the counter. Yeah. So that's me respecting. No, no, no, no, no, that's the year you're you're implying that that was a very disrespectful thing. Yeah. So it's they're not treating you with respect. Yeah. People are obsessed with it. Yeah. It's a it's a it's a hot topic right now. The whole world has become a rap beef. Yeah. Hey, Dick, Sean St. Pittsburgh last midnight shift rage before I join the standard batch of more locks that work in this world and go back to daylight. You know what my last rage is and it's won us a bug in the off fucking week. I took schedules. I don't know if maybe I was just a freak or what, but I take a shit at exactly the same time

every day, right around eight o'clock. I get a couple of hours of work at the factory, all the sun right around eight o'clock, shit in time. This midnight shift week has fucked up. I'm pooping at all fucking weird hours of the day Like this is in some of it isn't surprised that it's not a healthy surprise. No boy It is just not fair Like I should not have my arms in a fucking sandblaster cabinet and then all of a sudden Should get the fuck out of here. No god damn it. I cannot wait to start shitting like a normal human being And it's not in weird places and unfamiliar bathrooms. Because if your schedule isn't sorted out and you're not at home, you know, I work at Prefect Factory. There's a bunch of different shitters.

And there's some weird ones I don't like. Everyone has their favorite one. If you weren't in a big place like I do, everyone has their favorite one. And I got to decilate the one on the back of the plant Oh, but it's empty almost every time at eight Right around the time that department changes over it's perfect, but now Jesus fuck Absolutely hated no one wants to shit in a Walmart 6 30 p.m. No one All right guys Love the show. Sorry for all the rages, but God. I'll damn it. It's helping get home safe. There you go. It is if you miss your shit window. It's like a space shuttle. Oh, if you miss your your your shit window I myself I like to do it in the morning. Yeah, wake up. Bam. Mm-hmm crank that baby out. I let it sit all night

Let it collect all its buddies Tell them to line up trains leaving the station or without the morning. Yep let it sit all night, let it collect all its buddies, tell them to line up, trains leaving the station. Reapers out in the morning. Yep. We're all, guys, you're all getting out. Seven, eight, maybe. Start the day off. That's how I start the day off. Yeah. And if I miss that window, if those motherfuckers are ready, it is it. It is fucking weird all day. All day, I'm thinking about it. Fucking weird all day all day. I'm thinking about it

Like well now weird now what I'm eating lunch and Where's the adding to it? I'm adding to it here with lunch or is it gonna be is there gonna be some kind of a Is this is there gonna be some kind of a shit or mission in intermission between shits? What's going on? Does fuck up your whole day. Yeah. It's probably a lot of issues with late shifts, the midnight shift. Well, yeah, it fucks with your entire body clock.

So I got really high, but I thought about this. It's not a relevant range. It's like a rage when you were a kid do you remember those Grenade water balloons Like they're the water balloons, but they're like they painted the like you know the grenade things So better grenade But the problem was like you would throw them and we would try to hit somebody They would never break it literally like you got whack in the face of a water balloon and it would bounce off.

And then it would only break when it hit the ground. Yeah. Like you could have been three stories up in the air and just like chuck it as hard as you could have. That's what I wanted to have. Yeah. That's off the person and just like leave massive bruises. But yeah. That's my rage for you. Yeah, that's off the person and just like leave massive bruises

Yeah, that's my rage for you Yeah water balloons are a theoretical fun only yeah, because in real life You you think you're gonna be so funny secretly filling up a water balloon and he's throw it at somebody and it's just Basically like punching them in the face because it doesn't break some of them used to break though. I remember It's rough basically like punching them in the face. Because it doesn't break. Some of them used to break though, I remember. It's rough. Water balloon fights. You got to kick start a breaking water balloon. Guaranteed to break every time. I would pay for that.

So otherwise, sometimes it'll go off in your hand, probably if it's that fragile. Yeah. You know, if you squeeze it. Seems like so much fun, but you can't. Yeah. I mean, who wants to be the guy that threw a water balloon at a woman,

it hits her face, doesn't break, and then you're the asshole, you're the picnic asshole for the rest of time. That's what you're setting yourself up for. Or a kid, you throw him a kid and it's like, oh, well, thanks for knocking my son over and giving him a road rash, spinning him around. A giant knot on his forehead. And now everybody's screaming. He thought it'd be funny as the toddlers

like running in the park. You just, you know, you huck it at him. Just knocks him right over. Water balloons and just everybody's having a good time. It's head on a sprinkler. You're like, God, damn it. What are the odds? 50-50.

It's not gonna break. Hey, Dick, what's up, buddy? I got a rage tree this week. Speaking about your trip to the Middle East, my rage is people that are born in the United States, but they try to relate way too much to their culture or their backgrounds. For example, people, I have friends here that are, I guess,

they're not from Palestine, but you get it. They're upset, dissent, and they complain and they don't understand anything about it. It's real is and how terrible the people are getting treated in Palestine and that they go around and they parade, you know, about all the atrocities and all this. But they would never, ever, ever go visit Palestine. They will keep their happy ass in the United States because they would just never do it. Even if their trip was paid for, they would never go over there. Yeah. They would never go

to Syria, you know, stuff like that, they complain about what's going on, but they'll stay in the US, but if someone gave him the opportunity to go over there and visit, they wouldn't fucking do it. So that's my rage, you'll fuck yourself. Yeah, I wanted to see a Palestine. I'm sure.

Like, we were told by the car rental company that there were places we couldn't drive. Yeah. Because there's like war zone going on. Yeah. There's a bunch of Palestine's running around blowing people up. I didn't know.

I guess it's big. It's big in the news to shit on Israel. Is that a thing? Somebody was saying that. There has been quite a bit of Turn Israel backlash I think it's just judging by some comments and you know things that I some celebrities some you know, yeah, yeah lately I think Being there

I didn't get to check out the Palestine situation, but Israel, the chicks were hotter than hell walking around alone at night. If you can't beat that situation, that setup, then you just need to join. As far as I'm concerned, that's, well, they're all about... That's the society I, everybody wants, so get on board. They're all about security. Oh, yeah. It was, it was very peaceful and fun. If the other side is not doing that, then... They're the losers.

And there's no, like, it was very clear being there that this was fine. I understand that getting your land taken sucks, but that's kind of the way it works. It's been done before in the hard times. Me and Harder next time, you know. You courted the wrong girl. Somebody was courting the one with the nuke

and that turned out to make the difference should be nice and safe it's labeled solution to school shootings oh boy hey hey dick so do me this time i'm an absolute total solution not a total rage total solution to film in that makes me rage i'm so

of hearing about seeing all this stuff i mean good god it's everywhere about the school shootings and here's my solution arm the fucking teachers one

what well that's it's not her talk about she came up with it's not he's sitting around getting stoned wait a minute get this idea out there.

Every single teacher in every single classroom has a gun and is trained how to use it. And my mom's a sweet little Irish Catholic teacher. This is a Catholic school high school. And even she says, some of these kids I wouldn't want to be alone in a room with. Are these motherfuckers? Good God they do not get paid enough to deal with this. Oh they get paid more than enough. They get paid more than enough. Cool shootings, no more. Now we want to take away everyone's guns just because one kid stole his dad's gun or whatever the fucking circumstances are. Oh man. Those teachers.

I love that meme. We gotta arm the teachers. Oh yeah. Okay. Let's see it. I kind of agree with it. I don't know if it's gonna help. Yeah, I don't even know.

Just because I think people should be able to defend themselves. Yeah, right? Well, yeah. Although it's kind of, it's like defending against winning the lottery, I guess't even know. Just because I think people should be able to defend themselves. Yeah. Well, yeah. Although it's kind of, it's like defending against winning the lottery, I guess. It never happened. That's what I realized about school shootings this week.

That they're never gonna have, no, one's never gonna happen to me because I'm never at a school. Yeah. Right? So every time it, what I don't want to hear is like, a shooting that happened in someone's house,

like, whoa, that would be scary news. Right. School's shooting. I'm never gonna win my school. Never. You hate school. Wrong demo. I hate school.

You couldn't pay me to go back to school, right? Yeah. You know. But a lot of kids watch the news. Is that why you guys are running this? All the time. I guess that the teachers who probably could, you'd like to think that the teachers who are trained

to use a gun would be the ones that had them. Yes, right? Yeah. Which seems reasonable. Sure. I don't think most teachers would opt into that program. I don't think so. would opt into that program. I don't think so. Probably one or two guys,

somewhat at every school. Mm-hmm. But then you know there's gonna be the fuck ball, like, meet head idiot that just wants to be a tough guy. It's always the problem. Everybody's, um, opinion of themselves. That's why, like, that's why the gun issue is so complicated. Because we all deep down know that you're going to get a fuck ball who's just twirling his gun around or doesn't lock it up. Yeah. Something like that. It seems way

more dangerous. I don't know. I wouldn't feel more comfortable if teachers had guns. I can't logically think of my way around it. I haven't tried to put myself in that position, yeah. Just sending your kid to a school and knowing that one of those guys, like it's dangerous enough that they let the teachers talk to the children.

That's too far. It's the real damage. Now they got a gun. I don't think so. I'm not worried about school shootings. I'm worried about being taught that communism is the answer, that socialism is the answer to anything. And then below that,

I'm worried about kids getting molested. School shooting doesn't even appear on the list. Yeah. It's like a hundred. What are you worried about? Well, I'm worried that my kid will not be able to talk to women. Well, that's what I'm fucking worried about.

Because that's a problem. Yeah. Yeah, it's, you know, the way that the school shootings are portrayed, you know, makes you think that it's a, you know, it's at the forefront of every, well, it is a forefront of a lot of minds. And it's just a conversation, but it's just the reality doesn't, doesn't back up. The news has made us so fucking stupid.

It has. It's, yeah, it's really unfortunate. It's tipped our minds upside down. It really bums me out. Like the amount of time we spend talking about school shootings and trans shit that like you you will never encounter these problems and they affect a small such a small amount of people. Right. And that doesn't mean I mean it does happen. But it's the thing is is you know the statistics that are you know that are school shootings are actually down over the last couple of decades.

But as far as what we think of as a school shooting, the thing is is they count accidental discharges of firearms, suicides, all kinds of things that are not. People are thinking, oh, school shooting, a kid or a guy walks on a campus and open fires on students. That's only a percentage of what they're counting in those statistics. And I think it's misleading and it's really doing a disservice. It's making us stupid.

Yeah. Because they can't go on TV every day and say, oh, one in six kids goes to bed hungry every night. How does that, how about that, how about that lib tards? How about that Trump? Like yeah, it's not as fun to talk about, is it? You asshole's fuck. Okay, here's a Kimbles calling.

Kimbles calling and she's on Mad Cux for some reason. This guy's a really, comes a fight. Hey, this is Maxwell Kimball with Silver Hammer. Leaving the, this is grunk voice number one. Okay. What the fucking pipe down? Like four shots in. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, we just say that if a mad guy puts me in a self-defense situation, I'll take it to the end. I'm going to tell him what he's going to do for us.

If forced to do so, we'll be put into a self-defense situation. Yeah. This is what he anticipates happening. Roadridge balance. Check it out. Patreon.com slash Big Show. Yeah. Talk to you later.

That's how you threaten someone. Mad Cux, I ain't a small dude, man. He's big. Yeah. Kimbles, Kimbles, big, but he's young. Mad Cux is small. You know what? I can't picture what he looks like.

He's thick. Yeah, he's thick. I'll have to meet him. I never met him. You know what, I can't picture what he looks like. He's thick. Yeah, he's thick. I'll have to meet him. I've never met him. You never met him. You didn't meet him when Peach got him tossed? I don't know. He keeps getting tossed or not getting in.

Kimble appears in disguises at these shows. Yeah, he's a master of disguise, like the saint starring Val Kilmer. You might be a woman. You don't know, Kimble. He shows up. You might think he's a stereo. So he can look, he can look like anyone. That's, he's a true, he's a true chameleon. He's a changeling. He can fit into any situation and blend in perfectly.

He's a, he was just pretending to be a stoner there. See? To trick you, you always have to be, you always have to suspect Kimmel's tricks. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's how you threaten somebody. If you put me in a self-defense situation, you're gonna regret it. Yeah. I have a very specific rage. And that is people who let their children walk around their foot and it just in diapers. Anywhere other than their living room or their house. Yeah. Just let the grocery store and his lady's walking with her. Put some clothes on the fucking kid and some shoes

it's just wearing a diaper, barefoot yeah I like that if it's a white baby, I'm saying like black from yeah, I know, black from walking around is fully loaded diaper, this thing's fucking sagging to the max I think that's given

a shot at life, Don't start it out. Don't start it out. I'll fuck up. You know, it's already white trash. Yeah. And close them. I'll probably shopping for wife beaters and give it a shot. And a normal life. Diaper in a wife. Peter.

Oh, and maybe make a difference. Look at Donald. But if it's making more black foot fucking pain is like that for a toddler maker and he has

all of these makes me rage having a fucking cold in the middle 90 E3 degree weather and also having hay fever it is probably the worst I've ever felt in my life and I've

done some fucked up shit. See you next Tuesday. That's the new prank bros video. You find unattended children and diapers and then you run by and spray paint their legs orange and put a blue shirt on. You Donald duck them. That's called Donald Ducking. You're so ducking.

Fine. Fine. He's fucking idiots at Walmart letting their kids walk around in a diaper and then when they turn back, their kid looks like Donald Duck. Yeah. A little laugh. So funny.

So funny. So funny. Shhh. Yeah, I'm in some fucking shoes and clothes on your kid, man. Fuck sake. Are you that? Do you have that much to do Fuck's sake. Are you that? Do you have that much to do in your day?

Are you so busy that you just got a fucking snatch your kid out of his play pin and take him to the store? Honey, I can't take Thomas to violin lessons. I've got a meeting in 20 minutes, but I just, I need to go to Walmart and pick up some business accessories. I just don't have time. That's just to put a, to put pants.

That is just white trash. And the nth degree. There you go. That's a racist thing against white people. Yeah. Well, if, if, if, nobody gets fired for that. No, because you can't be, no, I've, I'm the oppressor. I'll tell you, man, we've got a weird, we've got a very weird relationship with black people in this country. Yeah. It, we've got a very weird relationship with black people in this country.

Yeah. It's very, it's very weird. Pretending to help them and simultaneously fucking them at every step. Yeah, yeah. Like, I know what to mean. A weird, a weird kind of racism that has, that has like no room, no room for under, for empathizing at all. It's very, it's very polarizing and strange.

Mm-hmm. I agree. Yeah. I don't know, maybe Trump could help. Maybe he could fix that when he's done fixing Korea. He pardoned Jack Johnson. Oh yeah, I think that's how I think he actually could help. You know, nobody else is like who well he's fucking meeting talking to him on

yeah, and kind of been, you know, it's kind of been bad for a long time. It's been bad for a long time. Yeah. Um, all right, maybe a couple more. A couple more. Everybody knows when they like to fix men. So what about boobs and men, right? Like, I think I think we know what I've been on all sides of this group size spectrum deck. So I think I'm able to say outside in the year. Don't have to wait to we wouldn't see you take you shit And almost like a fetish like the bigger and more

I'm gonna get them I'm gonna score that fucking Prime real state But on the other top of the front Like I get both and I get I get why small tips your home to provide like I get both, and I get, I get why small tips you're hung up to the right. Part of me, because I'm a comic part of me is like, she's having that as much tension and they're really vulnerable and small because they're vulnerable because they're small. That's what I do to things, it's like, you know, fucked up sort of, I don't even know. But I'm a 20 or 25 year old who is a nice beast.

I think it has to do with their insecurities. If you hit my age, you hit around 20 years. All right, all right, all right, all right. I can't hear anymore of that. Who was that? That was Andrew. Of course he is. He's a little bit more composed.

He's the only one who kind of talks that, you know, real low like that. Yeah. I'll put, I'll do one more. Hey, Dex, that's over here. What's up? You know what makes me a rage? Reply all emails. So, you know, it makes sense to receive the initial email that says

hey everybody which Kevin congratulations for having a new born baby cool look whatever i don't give a fuck about Kevin or maybe i don't have people are they're probably in a different state than me but that that's forgivable but i don't think glasses on the tip.

Is the subsequent cocks fucking for the next day and a half? Everybody going and you're in there. And you see the responses. And you see the responses. And you see the responses. And you see the responses. And you see the responses. And you see the responses. And you see the responses.

And you see the responses. And you see the responses. And you see the responses. And you see the responses. And you see the responses. And you see the responses. And you see the responses. And you see the responses. And you see the responses. And you see the responses. And you mean the fuck out of me or give me a phone call

and congratulate him or just if you don't have contact information he probably doesn't give a fuck what you have to say and you're replying all shows that you can't follow instructions because the original email says

please don't reply all to this reply just to Kevin I don't want to to this. Reflying just to Kevin. I don't wanna see that shit. Fuck off. Oh, hysteria was just driving me insane with his reply all, because comedians, like as soon as they see a chain email,

they can't help themselves. It's just constant, constant bands. So we're trying to plan for, I think it was Road Rage Portland. And it was as soon as Diego sent it out, it was bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, I'm like, hey, Diego, you gotta, you gotta BCC that next time. You can't trust comedians.

Like, they're like the road runner. You see a mirror and they're like, oh, stopping, right? The bird seed, they see it, they can't help themselves. All right, everybody. See ya. See, I got the last word right there. Is that?

You got anything you want to plug? No, hang on, I'm gonna do a pickup. Okay, see ya.