The Dick Show - Episode 107 - Dick on Milking Dad

Episode Date: June 19, 2018

My dad tries to correct the record on the Optimus Prime story, Sh*tty Passenger gets mugged, I have mana problems, packing a fake penis in your pants, #MeToo and the duality of abuse, lactating dads, Antoids falls asleep while waiting to talk, a string of very generic parenting advice, to have kids or not to have kids, movies need a man-hating score, newscasters with racist accents, arguing with a Boomer, my incredible speed, the 3-hour GFY marathon, Larry hits 100 episodes, and a Dickhead from Korea sends in a box of snacks; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Yeah, yeah, welcome to deck you big you one dick you love dick you got it's a show where everything is a contest coming to you live from a mountain bunker, a concrete mountain bunker, deep in the heart of the city of failure. I'm your host, Dick Masterson, AKA the $20 million man with me is always a Sean the audio engineer. Hello, Dick. Hey, what's up buddy, fingers? Get, can you get on Sean's camera?

It's, I'm already a rage with your disgusting ass. Get a, the musician fingers, a Dick show musician, a Dickhead musician, fingers is in studio. He's here for e3 You can drop the cans right there. Yeah, Sean's just get in front of Sean so I can see this what you what you're doing is Disgusting fingers was watch watch the camera behind you as you maneuver in yes, and I don't want to block me for even a second Fingers is telling us how he got his name and he gets everyone's attention over to him like the sick, like the sick person he is and then he demonstrates this for us. Go ahead.

Oh God, no. Oh my God. Get on coaches, my, get on coaches, my, this is, that doesn't hurt for you. It's not at all. It's all like loose tendons and just, they just bend straight back and it's no resistance really. I'm gonna fucking throw up. Why would you do that to people right before the show starts?

I mean, I had a little no, that's. Get on, they get on the mic. You're a musician, you should know that. Yeah, I mean, if, you know, if you ask me why I'm called fingers, I'm gonna show you. Who asked you? Who asked you? I don't think anybody did.

That's right. Have they always been that way? I've figured it out in like sixth grade. I used to just wake up and just crack my fingers in the morning. I was just sitting there bending into that. I was like, I don't think this is normal. Do you work that into a routine? Like, can you help me fingers something out?

Can you ask me for help? Yeah, sometimes they'll just like lean up at a bar and go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, saying right before the show that you do this to prank people. Yeah, it gets me out of situations. It's a good ice break or a party is just like, hey, want to see something cool and just bust that out and it grosses some people out. Some people get really intrigued. And sometimes I just like, it gets me out of situations too.

Like at a hockey game one time, we were in the front row. And it was packed. And you know, it's with my girlfriend. I was like, all right, hold on to my shoulder. Don't let go and just trust me real quick I was like just it's okay. We're about to do this and she goes okay And I just I bend them all the way back and just held I bend them and just held them in that position and then I just kind of looked around and see if anybody was paying attention

Me and then I just started like yelling and screaming like like I had fallen and that's what the result wasn't I held in that position and I had fallen and that's what the result wasn't I held in that position and Everybody just parted out of the way like the fucking Red Sea, man I just oh That's a good way to get through a crowd and I just like if you're leaving a Dodgers game. Yeah, and I just told her to hold Literally These beers are too expensive and turn my fingers inside out Hurry up and lower the price of these beers Yeah, we we made it straight to the top and then I just let go and then I heard a bunch of people call me an asshole

But it didn't matter because we already out you know Yeah, fucking fuck oh Oh, well good job. You're here for you're here for E3. Yeah, I came up with E3 Fingers did the the dick tip a little dick tip the Plains and Trains remix, Sean, in case you're wondering. Yeah. So you're here for Konami brought you out, you're saying? Yeah.

Thank you, Coach. Sorry. I do a lot of Metal Gear remixes. Good to see you, Coach. See you later. I'm going to go ahead. Yeah. Yeah, I do like a original video game music stuff.

That's like my main thing that I do. Yeah. Okay. I've just done a bunch of stuff for them, like Metal Gear and Castlevania. How was the video game advertising? I'll show. It was crazy. It was crazy. It was crazy.

It was really surreal. I've always wanted to go since I was a kid. And they just opened it up to the public like two or three years ago, I think. So, we're the gamer girls getting enough attention there. Is that what they need to get all the possible attention? I think there's one single moment that a gamer girl's not getting attention.

She might whither up and die. Yeah, the booth girls were getting a little more attention probably than the actual gamer girls, you know, because they're just there too, you know, and just having a good time. But yeah, everybody's eyes were everywhere, looking, there's plenty of beautiful girls out there for sure. So, yeah, all right.

You need to check it out, man. Do you do that fingers thing to talk to girls? Have you ever done that to talk to girls? That's the thing, like certain girls, they'll be like, whoa, and they're like, can I sit there and, whoa, it kind of looks like a real round. Yeah, they want to do it round and- Oh, dude, your fingers even moved in a,

moving a fucked up way. They wiggle around like they're not even attached. I'll do that on camera if I can get it over here. They just kind of, oh. Okay, that's enough. It is enough of that shit. Get out. But yeah, don't leave.

It works on some of them, some of them get grossed out and then there's those kind of weird ones. They're like, all right, let's see if we can work on this stuff. Torture pincushion that they can play with forever. That's what they want. And my knuckles can also like pop out too. So when that's going on, you know, that's, you know, it's what about any kind of weird penis things?

Um, that's pretty normal down there. Pretty normal. Pretty normal. What, a little bit of weird in the penis area goes a long way. Can you like tie it around shit like those I can bend your penis all the way to your stomach? Yeah, I can bend your penis all the way to your stomach. Wow. I can tuck in my way to that.

Sean. You know, we had a friend. This is stuck with me my whole life. My friend who would, he was always worried about getting a heart on in high school and he said he would go to a dance. He went to a dance. You remember? And he tucked, he had the great plan of tucking his heart on into his belt in his suit and he said he would go to a dance. He went to a dance. You remember, and he tucked, he had the great plan of tucking his heart on into his belt in his suit

while he was dancing. So as to not arouse suspicion in the female, yes. You know, I always seemed like the weirdest, like I can't imagine doing it. Yeah. Having, having an erection and then tucking it upwards into my waistband. Yeah.

I don't know if there's anybody else who can do it. Please let me know, but it sounds like a strange thing. Anyway, you got anything that makes you rage about E3 or about music in general? There's way too much of it right now. It's just like way too much music. Yeah, yeah. I like to come through it,

like to find something that you like. Yeah. There's tons of it that is good. But like if you're just like going on SoundCloud or going on Bandcamp and just like going through, you're just like, ugh. Yeah. There's tons of it that's really bad.

I like your video game remixes. I like other people's video game remixes. But if I look for video game remixes to play, I catch autism every single time. I get about 10 seconds in one. Like this is awful. Yeah. I also do a Star Wars side project.

That's called Kenobi style. And like we remix the original Star Wars soundtrack Make it in a hip hop beats or whatever but hip hop Star Wars. Yeah, okay. It's like kind of like lofi Whatever it got problems in the Empire. Yeah, that's what it's about. There was a There was an Israeli rapper that I heard while in that burning man in Israel. Yeah, I was like well What is he what is he rap about? And this woman's trying to translate. She's like, well, basically, he's saying right now

that his rhymes are so good that it will, I don't know, it will make you pee in your pants. Like, that's your guy's hardest rapper. Is a guy who's singing about how his rhymes are so good. You'll pee in your pants out of fright. Well, it's not that our direct translations are a little sketchy. Our rappers have different sorts of issues in the United States. Not really applicable here, I guess. Right.

But I don't know. Empire, though, they've got serious fucking problems, man. Pretty fucked up, yeah. But with that, you know, there's sometimes we'll have to, we'll go on DJ sets that like we did the, when the Force Awakens came out, we DJed out of the dinner and, you know, just big events like that. We played at baseball diamond. But sometimes we have to look for other music. Like, you know, we have to play for like three hours. We're like, oh, we might, we don't have three hours. So, you know, we'll dig in and have to find

some other people's music. Right. And like, yeah, Star Wars remix. Look that up. Awful. It's goddamn awful, man. Everybody, it's everybody's first attempt at music and then they realize that they're terrible. That's the one. And for some reason it's got a hundred thousand plays or a million, just because that's the only one that everybody listens to and everybody got disappointed, yeah.

Yeah. All you need is Mechko. They figured it out once with the Star Wars Remix, right Dad? What? Mecko, the Star Wars Remix. Mecko, I've never heard of it. I was almost a city. I've never heard of it.

So come on, that's your era. You're telling me you didn't have a leisure suit? Mecko, no. Am I pretty happy? I had a leisure suit. I had a leisure suit. Yeah. You had a leisure suit.

White with six inch heels. My dad is here, everybody. Just like what's his name on the commercial, you know? No. I don't, I don't, first of all, I've never seen a fucking commercial in like 10 years because I don't watch old people cable television. I knew that would differentiate us immediately.

Yeah, because you're talking about. I'm a boomer. I'm talking about a putty. He does a commercial for National Car Rental where he's wearing Warburton. Yeah. Yeah, he's wearing a war burden. Yeah. He's wearing a leisure suit, and he has six inch platforms,

and a like a paisley shirt, a nicknick paisley shirt, and he's on leisure travel. Okay. Yeah, so that's what I knew. So you don't know meco. You did have a leisure suit. One of the proudest moments of my life was when my dad was giving me his old disco 70s clothes.

And we were about, he would have been my age when he was wearing them, and he was giving us, this was authentic 70s shit. Like this is when, this is when going like thrift store shopping was before they even wrote that song about it. This was like, beginning of, this was early they even wrote that song about it. This was like beginning of, this was early 2000s, right? You remember Sean, and I tried to look like an asshole, you know.

This was before, this was before Peacock was frowned upon. Yeah. This was before the Me Too movement. So I was like, oh Jackpot, my dad's given me all of his old 70s shit. And I went to put it on and it was like, it was like my arms were ripping through this thing. Like I could barely squeeze my body through it

because I was so muscular and large. And I was like, Dad, this fit you? It doesn't, you must have been at my age, much, a much weaker man, go and get on to my coach. Get on the woman. Yeah, you're like a woman compared to me. I was very limber. You were very limber.

Yeah, well, of course, yeah. Yeah, like a thin and limber, yeah. I can bend his fingers like a gymnast. Like a gymnast from a country that doesn't do steroids. Yes. Or value manly musculature and their upper body. I was designed for a titanium frame. I was very powerful without all the excess bulk.

Oh, I see. You can have my ass. It's like an SR71. It was a different time, I guess, Sean. Yeah, your muscle was different then. Really? Yeah, because our diet was so different, you know. What was your diet?

It was very rough. So we went right to our muscles. All right, my dad's here for Father's Day. Everyone, I've got a bunch of questions. Most of them joke questions asked by assholes on Twitter that people want you to answer. What are the on joke assholes? Coach is here.

What's up, man? What's up, buddy? Coach, you just installed a car seat. Yep, but it's sweet driving. Kia's Serrento. Yeah, there. Wow. I love that thing.

You love it. Yeah, it's the first car that's big enough for him. Yeah, oh,arento. Yeah, there. Wow. I love that thing. You love it. Yeah. It's the first car that's big enough for me. Yeah. Oh, I see. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's Father's Day.

We've got one man coming up on Fatherhood. Yeah. And one man who's thrown in the towel on it. Yeah. And every, like by every Father's Day I'd like to. If you, if you had you, could you blame him? Yeah. I'm into grandfatherhood now. Yeah.

Oh, what's that like? That's way better. I'm sure. Oh, God. The best thing about having kids is grandkids. Oh, yeah. Yeah, because when they get to be a pain in the ass, you say, go home.

Yeah, and you can spoil them and rile them up. Yeah, man. And then parents have to deal with it. Yeah, actually a real fun guy. And then say, go on, okay, you're not being fun. You can spoil them and rile them up. Yeah, man. And then parents have to deal with them. Yeah, actually a real fun guy. And then say, go on, okay, you're not being fun. You can leave now. Every father's day, I like to do my annual apology, because that's what I think father's really deserve

for father's day. Now, why are you getting a, well, you're getting a dad, a bunch of tools so he can do chores around the house. What the fuck kind of present is that? Here that here that here's a bunch of cans of paint so you can paint the garage mom gets a vacuum cleaner dad gets cans of paint you we knew never hear the end of it if mom got a vacuum cleaner for mother's day here you go mom

here's a nice uh... here's a here's a vacuum cleaner uh... here's an iron take take care of it but but Dad, every year, endless power tools, right? What Dad really needs is an apology. So all the dads out there, we're sorry. All the kids are sorry for screwing up your life, making you think you want to put car seats in a Kia Cirento.

I didn't say I wanted to. Immediately being this, all of us kids and sons are sorry of being the Schrodinger's cat of your life that coalesced it into a reality, an inescapable reality of, we're sorry for all the graduations and the toys that you don't get to buy with your, we're sorry that you can, you could never play magic again as it, you can't play for 10 years and then the game will have advanced to such a degree, you won't be able to catch up. Don't even understand it anymore.

I'm sorry for that. Sorry for all the endless. Kindness. Kindness in my prime. Endless ball busting. The endless ball busting. I was wondering about that. What it's going to be like for my kid when they're playing like VR games and I'm just, it's going to look totally different.

Yeah. Like what? Super Nintendo look to like now. Yeah. Completely different. Um, the, my nephew fired up the Super Nintendo to play Mario Kart. Oh really? Yeah, he loves Mario Kart. It's a good game.

Super Nintendo Mario Kart, buddy. There's still a Super Nintendo or is it a good game? Yeah, they repackage their classic systems every couple of years and sell them for exorbitant prices to morons. Um, smart. Yeah, my brother and I picked one up immediately. Classic systems every couple of years and sell them for exorbitant prices to morons Yeah, my brother and I picked one up immediately Waiting in line for it pre-ordered two in case one broke on the first day so I fire up super Mario Kart Nintendo was the first one on the super Nintendo and he looks at it could look sad and he goes

one on the Super Nintendo and he looks at it. It looks at it and he goes, uh, where is the graphics all squares? Yeah. Uncle, I'm like, well, motherfucker, that's how we had, they had, those were actually much smaller than the last squares. Yeah. So we had to deal with, he goes, well, well, it looks crummy. Uh, what? Yeah.

Can we play the other one and I'm driving around the car. So, man, it, this looks undeniably crummy. Yeah. Like, I can, I can like, oh man, this looks undeniably crummy. Yeah. Like, I can no longer convince myself that this is a car in any capacity, in any kind of virtual capacity. It looks terrible, all right anyway. So that's my apology.

Coach, go ahead, Dad. Who is that, too? Dad's. Oh, well, I'm very sorry. I just wanted to say thank you. Oh, yeah. If that was to me, okay. Sorry for allowing you to say thank you. Yeah, if that was to me. Okay. Sorry for

sorry for allowing you to spill ice shaved ice all over your car It could have been worse. Sorry for setting up a circumstance where you basically spilled that on your car by stopping short No, that is not correct I didn't know you just sat the seat and went, oops, that's all, I wasn't even in the seat, my car seat, but I put you in there, then I went around and before I could even get my car seat, all I hear is oops, and it's like in Jurassic Park when the guy says, what's oops, oops, and I look back and there's there's the the snow code blue

on gray new seats. So you remember this very well. Oh god. So I mean, a lot of time has passed and the truth can come out now. It's true. Did you did you intentionally fling his transformer into the street. Yeah. As you went, he did. Okay, we'll get into that. Look, when that happened, you fucked up something, I'm on, I fucked up something. Yeah, he made it. He made it. What happened is I grabbed the snow cone

because it was still just oozing all over the seat a little bit and I grabbed it and everything from there to the door went with it. So I just scooped everything and the transformer was in the way. It was like, by catch. Yes. It was a dolphin. Yes, I just scooped everything and the transformer was in the way. It was like by cat by cat. Yes. It was a dolphin. Yes. It just tuna. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Really. Sorry. That's what happened. I almost felt bad. Bullshit.

Country shaking is that. That's what it was like in a movie take of somebody clearing off a desk. Like violently. Yeah. It was like he was about to knock out it. It was like he was about to bang out a third kid on there. It's like that kind of destiny. Yeah. We need to disabuse people of the idea that parents know that parents aren't vindictive with their kids from time to time. No, I'm not.

There's still people. There's still people and kids can be real shitty. That story's bullshit. No way. There was more garbage that went I started I scraped the entire back because I had to go through the floor with my hands scooping everything in the way to get the whole Ball of blue snow cone. Yeah, much of it is I could so everything in the wig went with it including your Transformer you're throwing away you're throwing in these details because the important part is that you were driving and you did style short. I didn't spill it. I didn't spill that out of nowhere. And then talk.

There's no way I'm too young to have some kind of weird victim complex at that age. Of course, I remember it accurately. No, you don't. Well, mom, mom, did you did my mom's here also mom. Did you see it? Do you remember it? Do you remember it though? Do you remember it? Do you okay? Can you get on the microphone please and say what happened? I can't no one can hear you no one can hear you all translate Get on the no don't let him don't let him translate for you. It'll get all messed up. This is past me too You speak for yourself. Yeah. Yeah. This is a new you can get on social media and put people on blast years after the alleged abuse Happen and we have to believe you we have to believe you we can't say shit. Let's hear it

All the way get all the way on there you go It was a combination of both your memories. Okay, what is there was a stop involved yes, yes New it oh wait and there was a good closer good closer and there was no comb blue snow cone all over so when I look back to it oh here comes the yelling here comes the violent physical activity yelling no with no Twitter for her to air these grievances and this abuse yeah it's non-contact he pulled over immediately because so there so he was driving wait wait no now you have refreshed my memory fucking boomers I went fucking boom I was back in time I was backing out of the parking space and I stopped because another car was coming down the lane behind us and pushing the blame on everyone else yeah

yeah yeah it was Lucas it It was God. It was. So what happened? So what happened? I stopped because it was a car coming and that's when you lurched. But why were you driving so fast that you needed to stop? I was packing out of a parking space. I mean, I was really creeping and I just hit the brake and you were pretty wobbly. You were just a child.

I was a child. Why would you buy a child? We're going to go walk into the same guy. It was a child. Why would you buy a child such a long, and just don't get scared. It was a huge shit. It was as big as your head. Yeah. It was big.

So it taught me that big. Look, I was just, I was mad at you, but I was even more mad at me. That doesn't make the anger at me to the backseat, you know? I was mad at everything at that, but not you in particular. But did I yell at you? Well, you destroyed my prize toy.

You didn't need to yell. You smashed my Optimus Prime. My Metal Optimus Prime, the good one. Yeah, yeah, the good one. It was Metal, it was Metal. And then too many dads threw them at their kids and killed them so they stopped making the Transformers Metal.

Because these dads can't control them so they're anger so you're you're really upset at my proxy use of your transformer yeah by pungus it was yeah it was getting the feeling that you were being punned yeah that i was thrown across the park now i get it now you get it happy father's day happy father's Father's Day. Happy Father's Day. You're right. I give you the gift of humility on Mother's Day. Accept your policy. Okay.

All right. That was fun. Can we do more? Yeah. I was going to bring that up later, but kind of got right into it. Oh, it's my dad. I've got a few things to say to him. How are we?

Let's go. Let's see here. Oh, what makes you a comedian who said, uh, comedian who said for Father's Day, you should just get an AA pamphlet, write your fault on it and give it to your father. I was thinking that like, uh, just thank you cards. Yeah. It's so awkward having to thank people for everything. Like just give it here to add up. Here, open mine first. It's a bunch of thank you notes that you can just give

to everybody. Hold them up in your face as you get cards. Um, you know what, really, what really makes me rage this week is not enough mana, but I don't think everyone's going to understand that one. Not enough mana. 80s girls, it's summer for her. So we've been playing like, we've been playing a good 14 hours of magic every day, probably, just to keep, just to...

I thought you were talking about Moses, the desert. Oh. Bucking, not enough mana. Sean, a short draw of mana will make you feel like a fucking fool every time. You'll be sitting on, I'm sure, but you're gonna have to explain what mana is. Why, why even bother look It's you needed to cast your spells and your creatures. You needed to cast your fucking spells And I've got a whole a whole handful of I got eight amazing

Spells that will just shoot out chili peppers up assholes all day long And I need one more fucking manna but I could draw through the entire fucking deck What and not get a manna card not get a fucking manna card. They're like energy for spellcasting. Oh, you understand that So it does come from mana it does yeah, it does come from the the Bible Vagna ma ma ma just oh really shortened it They didn't want to appropriate any cultures so they made their own word. It come you'll be sitting there Sean you'll have so many vampires lined up and planes walkers in your hand and you could do fucking nothing. You could do fucking nothing but roll your dice counter down

every, every turn. Because they have no food for energy because they have no, you can't fucking buy them and who's sitting across from you grinning like an asshole about it? Yeah. Your loved ones are your friends and other people's cases, but it's so goddamn frustrating. You just wanna kick the deck over every time and every single time they will grin like monsters at your loss thinking that somehow they've outsmarted you into having to worse luck in the world,

not being able to assert a fucking deck is mana you're telling me I draw through half of this deck and not get one mana guard fuck you I should go play the fucking lottery what makes you think you would win the lottery if you can't because you because you have to there what are the odds what are the odds that you draw 20 20 turns. Not one fucking swamp. I'll take a plane. Not one, not one. What are the, every single draw, one third of a chance. What are the odds? I don't know, but they're high because I'm pissed about it.

Because my brain knows that I should be drawing a man a card soon. So it's telling me to be pissed off about it. So I know that the odds are long because that's how pissed off I am. I don't need any fucking math to tell me that. What is that? Who's at the door? Oh wow.

Yeah. Maybe the neighbor saying, can you just, we're trying to play magic over here. Can you keep it down? I can hear you from your bunker through the... Yeah. Just inside the mountain.

Look, you know what, if you know, then you know what I'm talking about. That's all I have to say about that. All right. These are the problems, Dad, that we have today. Man, man. Who was it? It was a package.

Oh, it was a package, tremendous. Yeah. Let's see, what else do I got here? Not getting mugged also makes me rage. Oh, shitty passenger, you know her. Yeah, do you know who I'm talking about? What do you call her shitty passenger? Because when I came back from Burning Man with her,

she was like the most nicest passenger I've ever ridden. Yeah, I know that's what I thought. So my problem I brought in to tell the story was shitty passengers who just sit there and play on their phones and text and show up while you're just, yeah, I know that's what I thought. So my problem I brought in to tell the story was shitty passengers who just sit there and play on their phones and text and show what you're driving, not keep you company. You get food at McDonald's or whatever drive through

and they dig into theirs first and then, oh! And you're like, well, how about a little something over here? Yeah, could you hand that to me? It's like totally wrapped to- Yeah, or they, or even worse, they are the halfway shitty passenger where they get the food,

they want to get to theirs, but they don't wanna seem like a prick. So they shove yours in your face while you're exiting the drive-through. Yeah, here, take that. Can you wait till I get on a fucking road? Before you know what I'm doing here, have a little bit of self-awareness.

I am driving. She's the opposite of all that. The Korean girl, you know what I'm doing here. Have a little bit of self awareness. I am driving. She's the opposite of all that. The Korean girl, you know who it is. We were 80s girl hours supposed to meet her downtown at the beer festival, because it's beer week this week. Is it? Yeah, it's beer week this week. I didn't know that either.

And she gets mugged on the subway. She's riding the subway, Jerry. She's riding the subway, Jerry, she's riding the subway downtown here. Yeah, here. That's exactly what I said. Yeah, with three people on it. Yeah, I mean, people use it. A third of them are criminals.

What are the odds? She gets to the stop or she's at the stop before the one she's gonna meet us at downtown. And I guess this dude runs down the center of the subway car, grabs her phone, which she's out texting on, because the only place you get any reception is at the stops, right, or she's checking her directions or something to see what stops, what, grabs the phones and then splits out the door. Nice.

Yeah. What grabs the phones and then splits out the door nice. Yeah, and She said a bunch of a bunch of guys playing Pokemon go It happened around USC. Yeah a bunch of Trojans who were who were milling around like zombies People still play Pokemon go according to her. Wow. They chased the guy down Really? Yeah, were they stopping to pick up shit along the way? I think a charizard or something. Yeah. I have none to worry.

And they were all running after him trying to throw Pokeballs at him. Yeah. The future of crime fighting. Pokeman. Just goes. It's just like a decentralized feeling they're getting points. Yeah. I got a criminal.

A real life charizard or whatever they want. Yeah, yeah. I don't know who the criminals in Pokemon would be. But they caught him and they recovered the other guy's phone that was stolen, but they didn't recover hers. And I guess then they just let him go. They just, they said, well, buddy, you're gonna have to give us the phone back.

And then they went back to playing their Pokemon games. Oh, so she arrived at the scene and she says, where the fuck, what about my phone? you're gonna have to give us the phone back and then they went back to playing their Pokemon games. Oh. So she arrived at the scene and she says, where the fuck, what about my phone? Yeah, where's the guy? And there she said they're all staring at their phones. They're trying to help her, like they're trying to help her in shifts

because none of them want to stop playing Pokemon Go. Yeah. While they try to assist her in shutting off her accounts and getting the police involved or something like that. And of course the police takes like two or three hours to get there. She finally gets to the beer festival. She looks shook up. She tore her pants and cut her knees up.

Because she tried to chase the guy down, you know, didn't catch him. But she fell. She probably fell. Yeah, fell immediately. Yeah. Because he was doing parkour stuff to get away from her. Yeah. Yeah. Fell. Fell immediately. Yeah. Cause he was he was doing parkour stuff to get away from. Yeah. Sure. And the only thing I'm thinking the whole time, which of course you can't say, takes everything within you to not say it is, God damn it. I wish

this. What the fuck doesn't this happen to me? What would I give to Chase to go get up? Just cracked the back and go, all right, buddy. I haven't run in 10 years. I'm instoring it all up for this moment. This can be fun. I'm gonna run through a building to catch you. This is gonna be like, fucking Mr. Incredible. And then when I catch you and you give me the phone back, I'm gonna pretend like you didn't give it back to me. That's really gonna fuck with you.

You're gonna, I'm gonna take it all, I'm gonna be crying and thanking you. As I strangle the life from you for giving this to me me I'm gonna be whispering to you like in saving private Ryan as I take out all this you mother fucker I'll be sitting on the subway. I'm just gonna every time I ride the subway now I'm gonna lay at this next stop every stop I'm gonna just lay there with my wallet and my phone and my lab a bunch of lottery tickets some ebt stamps and just sit there. Oh, man, I'm feeling kind of and then just chug nightquill. I'm going to get on the subway and start chugging

nightquills. Oh, man, I really have, I haven't slept very much all night. Oh, I'm just going to put all a bunch of valuables down here. I got some, some magic booster packs, bunch of money, some bunch of mana, more man, no booster packs, booster packs, then it's like gambling, lottery, my phone, I got a couple of phones here, take your pick, I got an iPhone, I got an Android for you, if you got any nerdy criminals out there, and I'm gonna spread out, not one fucking time,

will I get mugged, Sean? No, good stuff never happens to me. I, I get mugged, Sean. No. Never good stuff never happens to me. I don't get to chase down anybody who's taken my property from me. It's a stupid thought, but. Where is Snuggie? Yeah.

Snuggie, so they can't see anything. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna wear a shirt of a, I'm gonna get the one of those shirts that makes you look like you have big tits. Did you see that? It's got a, have you seen this shirt? No. Oh, talk about bullshit, dad.

Have you seen this shirt? Yes, I've seen this shirt. Isn't that, it's for men? No. No, it's for women. Well, I guess it's for men. It's for women. It's for women.

Anybody that wants to look sexy with big tits, it's perfect. Yeah. They also make one that makes you look really sad. I thought it was like a sympathy shirt for women that men wear. It's like, you guys don't know what we have to deal with. You know, like the Wall Street. Like the pregnancy thing or whatever? Yeah.

Like the- I thought it was the Bellarmacutus. Yeah. You saw those guys in High Heels marching on Wall Street last week. No, what was that? No. Solidarity, something. Of what?

I don't know. High Heels. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, that's solidarity something of what? I don't know. Hi, he's I don't know. Yeah, yeah, that's what you do. Not a shirt. That's not okay. Commitment enough. That's so yeah, like 10 years ago. Look, it's a shirt that you wear and it's got a bunch of patterns on it that slim down at the waist. It's like an optical illusion. Yeah. Yeah, but for purposes of evil, well, not purposes of fun and very dishonesty. I'm thinking of a pageant of life in my cell. Yeah, dad, you had it.

You get on that, my mom. Wait, you know, before I forget what coincidentally, the LAPD reported that the type of crime you talked about, the Snatch and Grab, the lowest apprehension rate. Oh, yeah. God, five percent. Damn it. Wow. Yeah, it's a perfect crime.

Yeah, so yeah, nobody gets to get unlucky enough, like hitting a lottery. Yeah. Well, I'm gonna put a stop to that. You don't get a good description of the guy because he's probably booking it, right? Oh, yeah. They've got a head start, so yeah, I mean, makes sense that they're not caught. And the police say,

what the hell's wrong with you? Keep your phone in your pocket. Yeah. No, that's true. Yeah. That's victim blaming. That's very offensive. I was just making a joke. Yeah. That's not a joke anymore. Uh, victim blaming a thing in everything. Yes. Yes. Oh, right now. You're dangerously close, even asking that question. Wow. Sorry. I said, I'm gonna get. I'm gonna get one of those, you guys had it, see, you didn't think that women had all their makeup and stuff, but now they're inventing clothing to make it look like they have huge cans.

Well, it's very, it's a very strange thing. Well, I mean, the Wonder Brought. It's been out forever, you know? Yeah. This is messing with the lower levels. No, this is, yeah, this is your visual. Have you not seen this shirt? No, I haven't. It's awesome. Yeah, I gotta show you this shirt then, hold is, yeah, this is your visual. Have you not seen the shirt? No, I haven't.

It's awesome. Yeah, I gotta show you the shirt then. Hold on. So it's just a pattern. It's like a pattern of like stripes. So we'll see. Yeah, yeah, you'll see. I want pants like this.

Shirt. What should I search for? Big boob shirt. You think that's a boob? Oh, yeah, shirt. Boob illusion. Shirt. Boob illusion.

Okay. Yeah, Sean, get up and look, get up and look at this shit. Sean, showing a big picture. That's not an illusion, is it? Look at that shit. Oh, yeah. Oh man, that was fooled, I was fooled. Yes. Can you, oh, wow.

I would buy that a drink. Oh, it's because of, now take it back, knock it over. It's because of the different size squares, obviously. Yeah, yeah. And your brain. Your brain is retarded. Yeah. That is, that is, that is inciduous.

Yeah, that's, that's a deep cut reference to biggest problem fans right there. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So this is what, no, Matt has always said it inciduous That's a deep cut reference to biggest problem fans right there. It's serious. Yeah. So this is what, no, Matt has always said it insiduished because he's a fucking moron. Yeah, it's insidious. It's like hyperbole.

He always said hyperbole for some jackass reason. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to get that shirt. I'm going to ride around on the subway. I'm going to get fake arms. Little fake arms. Yeah. Yeah. That are holding a newtally numbers. Yeah, that I'm gonna get fake arms, little fake arms that are holding a newtly numbers.

Yeah, that I'm gonna control from inside my slanket that has all those illusions on it. Right? You said slanket, didn't you? Yeah, yeah. Because the slanket was before the snuggie, but nobody remembers it. Yeah, the slanket is a far superior product as well.

Oh, I've had my slanky for years. Snuggies, I have a snuggie as well. It looks like you could, you put it in the washing machine once and it will be destroyed. The slanky, I've slept outside in the slanky. The slanky, it looks like you're moving blanket. Yeah, it does.

It holds up. And then I'm gonna throw that fucking thing, I'm gonna throw all of that off and run. Like I've never, like you've never seen someone run before, Sean. I was in high school. I was, I was the fastest kid on my baseball team in high school. Yeah. Even and we had a black guy who was very fast. Yeah. Very fast. I'm saying these, these, these muggers, these snatching grabbers are not going to see what hit them.

When they get bold over by they're going to go, wait a minute, I thought you had little tiny, newtly arms. And I'm going to go, that was an optical illusion bitch. That's going to be my catchphrase as the snatching grab vigilante. Yeah. Yeah. Pummeling the, the former guy on your baseball team probably why which one what do you mean? I don't know. Yeah, what do you mean? You're fucking you're fucking tired. That's way more expensive than what rose in that's why I did it. All right. What else is me? You know what else is Megamy rage Netflix stretching documentaries into like 10 episode fucking series If you like you can't watch any documentaries anymore with that. You would just a report. Yeah. That is like the most drool 10 episodes you've ever seen.

Jesus Christ is it slogged. It's so bad. I tried to watch a just a simple documentary about a guy who was wearing an exploding head harness. Yes. I tried to rob a bank. I started that last night. I love it. It's so it's endlessly endlessly long. And boring, it goes forever. Talking to the guy talking about his side of the interview and these endless interviews with maniacs is come on, 90 minutes tops. That's it. The Unibomber's good though.

I think it's the youngest pertinent. That wasn't a documentary. No, it's a pseudo documentary. They use Hollywood movie stars But they portray like the RJ one. Yeah, yeah, exactly. That is funny though. Let's see. What else makes me rage this week? The Incredibles 2 made me an incredible rage this week. Did you see it? Is it open? Is it out? Yeah? It is It is let me tell you well, but yes to all those things. Let me tell you what we need you remember the did you not see it? Is it open? Is it out? Yeah, it is. Let me tell you all the, yes to all those things. Let me tell you what we need. You remember the, did you not like it?

Sean, it made me rage. The first one was so good. It was perfect. Yeah, you and I, you and I saw it. Absolutely perfect. The first one was fucking perfect. Yeah. And then they decided to make this one for adults.

And everyone hates adults. Yeah. Are the kids still entertained? I don't know. I think that might be smart, right? The kids are just gonna be like, oh, okay, but the... This is what we need.

We need a rating system, like that Christian rating system. You remember that one? That would rate movies for their Christianity or lack of Christianity? I don't, but lunatics run by absolute lunatics where they would say like, fornication, that would get a negative score.

Like you would be penalized. The top score was like as Christy as you could be. But if the characters were married, was it okay? Yes, then it was okay. It was Christian values only. Murder, stuff like that would be, you know, big no no. Unless they were public, punished for it, but you go away with it. We need that. I need that for men.

I seriously fucking need a man's score for a movie. The women sitting around talking about drinking alcohol while they're drinking alcohol. That would be a big negative in my, in my score and my girl power score of a movie. Woman is the ultimate villain. Another big, that's another big no-no on my girl power score. Because what is, explain to me why? Explain to me what the fuck, what the fuck is your motivation here? Why are you so angry and why is it different

than every other, like every other woman in this world's anger? Why you give me some kind of concrete plan here? Yeah, like 99.99% of terrorists are men. Yeah. You know, like no, there's no supervillain. That just doesn't make much sense. No, it's not scary at all.

Yeah. Like, uh, well, you haven't seen Queen of the South have you? No, what's that? Based on a true story. The narcotics cartel in Mexico was run by a woman. Yeah. They call it the South. It's derived from a woman. She was the one in 10,000. Yeah, she was it, but she was big. Yeah. I mean, she kind of negates all the odds, because she was so good. Big and monster. She was like that big. No. No, she was like five foot tall, built like,

what's that guy in Minions? The group. Group. Yeah, you know how he's built the nose. Yeah, with the little tiny legs. Oh, no, ugly or ugly or nose. His nose is pretty regal compared to hers. But yeah, she was just caught in the last year. Yeah, I know exactly who you're talking about.

Yeah, she was like the godmother. She was like a cocaine godmother, ruthless. They really believed that she was the person that had Kike Kamarine killed. Who's that? He was the first DEA agent killed in the war on drugs. That was the first time anybody challenged the US by killing a DEA agent and letting them know,

yeah, we're in this war too. Yeah, because usually you don't wanna do that because it brings way more heat. More heat, yeah. Is it bring the heat? And what, 30, 40 years later. They still bring in the heat. Everybody is. Yeah, I've heard of that.

That was the whole, that's what kicked it off. She was supposedly the one. Well, they didn't embody her in incredible things. No, I bet they wouldn't. It was feminism, run a mock movie about feminism. Never. Yeah, where two women sit around talking about their roles and goals in life and the point is

what the mother and the daughter or what the mother and the villain of the movie. Oh, don't fucking see it. Oh really. Oh, it's so bad sitting around drinking wine like I'm watching a fucking coffee commercial with men stammering inexplicably I can count the number of times I've seen a man's stammer in anger on probably one hand in my life yet you put them on you put them in movies and they're like Fumbling around for their words wrong. Yeah, that's not the complaints I get about that's not the man's planning complaints I read about online. It's that they tend to just talk straight through fucking anything. So let's get it right That's a strike on the man's score. You can't have it both ways, right?

No. That's a good one. Anyway, that was what else made me rage this week. I got one, I got a bunch more. You know what would make it a lot easier? As if they would publish like a demographic label on the movie. That would probably help you a lot. Yeah, because their target market is definitely you.

I think that's kind of the trailer. But that's counter to their interest though, because they want to appeal to his wide audience as possible. I don't know about that. Throw the net out there. Oh, the first one. Oh, the first one was perfect. I don't think so.

I think everybody gets too much power. As a guy who spent years in the advertising business, they do. They want everybody to go see it. But not on sequels. Like I'm saying like the guy who gets control to make the sequels is trying to say something. For the first one, you have to appeal to everyone

because if it's not good, no one will go see it. But the second you get the name out there, you're free to start twisting shit in whatever ways you want. They do that, but they usually just go more of the first movie. If eight was good, 10 is a lot better. And that's the problem with a lot of sequels. But then the creators get their brains infected.

Like because they spend so much time online pretending to be this ass, they spend so much time online being liked that they end up injecting everything they make after the first good one with this weird pandering bullshit. Yeah, they do. They do. Nothing to them.

Like just get involved too. There's a lot of people who get their hands in it. Yeah. Because that's, we got to make sure this thing is even bigger than the first one. Yeah, we got to break, we got to say something. We've got to say something. We've gotta say something, and the thing that always has to be said somehow is, well, we need more women in here.

We gotta get more fucking diversity in here for some big question mark. Well, yeah, that's especially lately. Yeah. I heard an hour segment on NPR about that. What was it? What would they conclude? They were interviewing someone related to that.

I just had it on the background, but they were either, I think the voice actress, someone an interviewer. And yeah, she was talking about how that was a major driver and for what? She claims that that was a major driver in what in the story of the movie. Oh, incredible.

Yeah. Exactly what I'm talking about. Yeah. For no, for no reason. It's Holly Hunter as a mom, right? Yeah. Let's see, what else I'm talking about. Yeah, for no, for no reason. It's Holly Hunter is a mom, right? Yeah. Let's see, what else I got another women thing that makes me a rage this week?

Chris Hardwick got sent up pretty good. Did you see that one? I just caught a headline, I didn't read the story. Oh, it's pretty funny. Is he getting accused by his ex of something? Or the use of the redness? The nerd move, the me his ex of something or the abuse of the narrative. The nerd move, the me too movement is going to be the death of us all. Watching the nerd properties dissolve under these completely asinine sexual harassment and

sexual abuse claims is like watching the end of fucking good fellas where they're just burying people in the desert and getting sloppy. Like, yeah, you guys had something really good, but you fucked up. Hold on one second. What was this? I think this is Larry. Hey, Larry, you there? Dick Baby.

Hey, what's up, man? Hey, congratulations on 100 episodes. Well, thank you very much. It's a cool number, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Yeah. a congratulations on a hundred episodes well thank you very much school number is it yet is uh... yeah we're just talking about the christ heartwick stuff came out you up on that you up on that i'm not i'm not take me up on that yeah okay so this is what happened

christ heart this this woman publishes a big medium piece about how christ heartwick is such a scumbag. And he was abusive and she let him do all this, like she dated him for years. It should be noted that she never mentions his name, but everyone assumes it's him. Oh yeah. All right, who the fuck is Chris Hardwick?

He's like the king of King of nerds man. He's like started the nerdist and really? He does the walking dead stuff. He's pretty famous. I didn't know. You didn't know? When I read that medium article and I didn't know. Yeah, it's, I don't think this is specific to him

because it's gonna, like it could happen to anybody. It's gonna fuck up his life either way. Like his show's already canceled. It beat up. No. No, no, Larry, no, no, no, no, no, it's all, it's all emotional abuse. That's what these poor women are being subbed. You see, they're put in situations where they've got that where they have to say no and they just don't.

Yeah. And she had to fucking get to stay. And well, Sean, I've, what is, I mean, what's she gonna, how else is she gonna get wildly famous and rich? You think a meal ticket like Chris Hardwick comes around every day? I mean, of course, she's gonna stay in a situation where she has to have sex, where a man expects her to have sex once a day or once a week or something like that. She, boy, she just lost herself though. She just lost her, Sean. Yeah. She went anorexic. She was, yeah. She, but she, boy, she just lost herself though. She just lost her, Sean, she got, she went anorexic. She was, yeah, she,

she barfed up herself. Oh, it's unbelievable. These things, that these women subject themselves to because they get tricked, because they get tricked into it. Are you, stop eating.

What an asshole this guy. We gotta, it, it drives me insane because somewhere, we lost, we totally lost the point that, yeah, abuse happens and it's not magical, it's because you're both fucked up. Exactly. So I just had this conversation last night with my wife. Thanks for letting us know.

Thanks for letting us know that Chris Hardwick has extreme emotional and mental problems that he should look at. And thanks for letting everybody know not to get close to him and that he's got this in him and that he should probably get it checked out. And let's be honest, a lot of people in the nerd sphere probably have some significant issues

from their childhoods, right? Because their entire identity and their entire life is based around escapism. Let's fucking start there. Let's start with understanding collectively that people who dedicate their lives to fantasy worlds and horse shit might have more things wrong with them, might be more sensitive, might be more unstable than an fucking investment banker. Well, they live in that escape, escape is a moral. Yeah.

And famous people are fucked. It makes sense. Now, let's not forget number two, you are also fucked. You, the person who, who person who's subjected herself to this shit is equally as fucked. Because I've got news for you, you would bring kids into this every fucking time you idiot's brain kids into this and you don't leave So don't pull this high up this don't get on your fucking high horse and think everybody for their fucking coffee dates While you literally destroy a deranged male you destroy a man's life who himself needs help right i think you're not the only fucking one and these linchmob's that this hashtag me to shit is organizing is not solving a problem that's the it's the you know you have to

look at it as i suck you suck yeah and you definitely thought here's one of her complaints was he had extensive rules about what i could post on social media g i i think i wonder why uh... black black but i might be hot yeah

uh... but he blackballed me from job opportunities well you just destroyed his career so i guess you're even what the what in the fuck are you swear the fuck are you people celebrating about this didn't help anybody This none of this helped anyone your response to it the way these two morons are arguing about it Yeah, you're you're both really fucked up, but it takes two people to do this everyone gets something out of it Yeah, it takes it takes it and crazy Manifests and men and women in very different ways.

Guys will put their fist through the wall and women will watch them do it and come back. Women will, and women will knock some kids out. Guys will knock out a wall, a woman will knock out a kid. That's how crazy manifests differently and, but, and men at manifest in prison. That's why we need those things. In women at manifests in WIC. That's why we fucking need these things because all of you crazy people can't keep your shit together.

That's why and I'm so tired, so tired of seeing victims who deserve, who deserve not the same blame, but as equally strong response, equally strong response, equally strong response as the abusers do because it's the fucking two sides of the same fucking coin. I agree with you that it's everybody, the knee jerk reaction is your victim blaming. It's like, South Park did this where he where, uh, Cartman dressed up as like a, as like

a young girl and went into the woods by himself knowing that like a pedophile was out there. Like, it's like, well, you know, maybe you shouldn't. And then it was like big foul. Can't say that, you know, and he's like, yeah, he can't say it. Now, as shy as shy of me, this, this me too, she's just going to be the end of us all. Um, because it's got to be the end of species because every guy's going to be afraid to even hit on it, even look at a woman, right?

So the population's got to plummet, doesn't it? Yeah. And it's the way they throw out every accusation in the book. Like, oh, he didn't, he would be on his phone all night and he wouldn't talk to me. It's like, oh, yeah, that one's, that one's real relatable. relatable but that's not what that's not really the same level as everything else you're saying is yeah yeah and then I think it's on point early on he probably asked her for a phone number and that's offensive we know that now no it's there they're they're getting away with it um they're getting away with it.

These black holes of attention who drive already unstable people into new heights of insanity and they feed off each other and they fuck up all the rest of our lives. That's my, I guess that's my point. Yeah, anyway. Let's see, I don't know if that's the focus. Eddie, turn us around. That's the big question now You can't because it sells it gets too many clicks it sells too many clicks

We finally we found a way to put Jerry Springer on On all the time now Jerry had it right and now we're we're reliving it endlessly with with This is the the goss the hot hot g cost at the highest levels. It's a bringer without stage bountains. Yeah, it is where every man on the internet can signal how big of an ally he is. I think it's gonna come back.

I think it's gonna swing back. How? Because I think it's getting to the point where, you know, for a good period of time there for decades, or for probably hundreds of years, right, women were different. They didn't have same opportunities, right? So that pendulum was swinging, trying to get them at least the same equal opportunities, but then it turned into, oh, everyone should be equal. And I think everyone's kind of realizing, well, you can have every opportunity, but

you don't have to, not everyone has to be 50-50. Yeah. You know, there doesn't have to be 50-50 pediatricians. So I think it's gonna, I think people are gonna be like, oh yeah, now that you have the ability to do anything, you, that was the important thing, and then just do what you want, and the disparities won't matter.

I think, I don't know. Yeah, I think of my, I don't know. But I'm just, being that it's Father's Day, I'm just glad that I have two daughters. Because if I had a son, I'd be pretty ripped shit. Because, come on, face it, guys are the new underclass, right? Coach, what did you have? Do you have a boy or a girl?

Well, a fucking a white male. Oh, you're, you had to do have the most oppressed group of the entire world, coach. That's gonna be a white male coming. Yeah. What are you gonna do about it? Move it, okay. He's not even gonna be able, he's not a white male coming. What are you gonna do about it? He's not even gonna be able, he's not even gonna be employable. Move to Idaho.

You're gonna have to body cam him. You're gonna have to travel, because that's his future. On every date, you're gonna have to body cam him, so you can get home and review the footage. Okay, no sexual abuse happening. You know, no misconduct at all here. What's file this away? It's gonna be black, black mirror child rearing in my house. Yeah, you need to. Yeah.

I mean, how do you say that? Like the guy that happened recently, a guy hooks up with a girl in college. And did you hear about this story? I was just shone. Did you hear about this? He got on about this particular one. Guy and a guy and a girl hook up in college. I think she before she had run and cried sexual assault before somebody else.

Yeah. So he woke up before her, ran to the whatever HR and accused her of sexual assault. So now she's being investigated. Really? Yeah. Great. Good for you. This is what you've coached. This is what you've got to tell This is what you've gotta tell your kids. Always every single time, file a sexual assault, Clendia, and in everything you ever fill out,

you're an African-American trans woman. Every single thing you fill out. If they've got a box for it, you find it and you market. Yeah, and you're in, you're into Harvard. No problem. Yeah, anyway, all right, this has gotten too depressing. Larry, congratulations on gotten too depressing. Larry, congratulations on a hundred episodes. Yeah, congrats.

Thank you, and thanks for being a part of it. And everybody is tuning on Tuesday to hear what Dick and his cast of regulars are saying because they're all at the party. I left Larry a voicemail. I did too. How you did? Yes, thank you.

What was your, it's hard for you to wait for. Oh, sorry. I'll get your number from Dick. Yeah, yeah, we'll be doing that. It's hard for you waiting for. Oh, sorry. I'll get your number from Dick. Yeah, yeah, I was a little dealing with that. It's hardly being a voicemail. Yeah, all these people fuck it up on this show, but it's a lot harder than I thought it would be. I go.

Yeah. I was laying into Larry because he's, he's shooting on Doomsday, people. Is that a video game? No, Doomsday, like the, um, end of the world. Oh, those people. Yeah, nuclear apocalypse. Yeah.

Cause like you watch the news and I was, I've said this on a dick writing before, but it seems like everybody kind of wants the apocalypse to happen. Of course we do. Like everybody sees Trump, everybody sees Trump and Kim together and they hope he fucks up. Like it would make more than half of people would be very, probably 100% of people somewhere deep inside that would go, yes, we're finally on for nuclear war.

Awesome, like we don't function without it. That's why everybody's killing themselves. Like just give us more of it. Yeah, we need to fear it. How else are all of our skills gonna help us? All of our manly skills that we needed nuclear war or else They're gonna just go for nothing, you know, that's right. We need a planetary reboot Absolutely

Man, there's some weird fucking phrases coming out of this zone now Planetary reboot coach. Yeah, that's what we're talking. That's what we're all about yeah, that's what we're talking that's what we're all about what am I signing on to you know when the root reboot happens you know manly men will once again be venerated and prized because who else is going to change the fucking oil yeah yeah we'll have civilists but who cares well having a good time that's what's important Sean having a good time um all right Larry I like I like to show what makes you rage makes you rage

man well you you that you asked me about father's day what makes me rage on father's day and uh... what makes me rage first of all is fathers that say or expect and fathers i should say that say we're pregnant oh yeah and i can hate that it's oh it's so annoying you know and uh... they're usually the soy boys and they've got uh... you know

flaps on the shirts they can pretend nurse and it's just it's a so fucked up you know they've already got a pop and i think it'd be wrong i changed ten thousand diapers i carried my kids everywhere but just because i might by just love hanging out to be like puppies you know but uh... these guys that that refuse to to acknowledge that the kids already got a mom either want to do the crossover you know it's it's so it's obvious. Are we gonna do that coach? And then I was never in Malibu a couple of weeks ago walking past this park where

they have this. The swings and all this kid that might crap that my kid you just heard this guy actually call his kids because he goes a Zeus won't get in the car. Yeah, it and Odin. His name's just Zeus and Odin. Zeus and Odin, let me tag my kid with some fucking goofy name that's gonna get him punched out about six days a week for the rest of his life.

That worked for me. Really? That's just only helped me. Yeah, I know. I think your kid needs to show some balls. I'm thinking about your name now, Zeus and Odin. The name is the last thing to worry about It's their atrocious unbearable personality that will cause the problem that you taught them. Yeah, that is by being you

When is I really am looking forward to the first time a man takes I don't know if it's a medicine that you could take But he he sympathetically lactates with his wife for the new baby and then shun it becomes a thing of well shouldn't men equally breastfeature babies uh... i mean we're going to the baby shower parties now i know yeah is that's the future what's the over under on your channel what's the overrunner of your child what's that Larry it's the now i mean i had i had a i had about six different types of dads laid out in my book mack daddy which is now like ten years old right and one of them was exactly what you said that it was a i called them

lactating daddy and there are assholes around there who try to you know switch out some some milk there from their neck. Really? And that was then. Okay? So yeah. We've all become sea horses.

Yeah. What the fuck? Wow. I have my, I'm thinking of weird stuff now. Yeah. I gotta stop thinking about this. But this is the future. Your husband on the male lactation pill? I have to get their nipples waxed.

You know, you mean he hasn't started yet? Why is he not supportive? Yeah. Yeah, he'll be by the the by the circle of yeah, a friend, you know, uh-huh. Would you coach for doing something nature never intended? I was wearing a car sitting in the car. And what's that

make America great again at around my wife's friends. That doesn't mean you can't give a little lactation. Yeah, I feel like there's there are battles and she didn't want to fight that one. No, boy, I think the male lactation's off the table. Yeah, safe. like there's, there are battles and she didn't even want to fight that one. No, boy. I think the male lactation's off the table.

Yeah, safe. Dad, would you have done that for your children? I never thought of that. Well, never. This is the future, man. You got to, it's like black, this is my black mirror. This is another good me. Dicks black mirror.

This is a black mirror. Remember the last one I had was hot chicks watching you. Yeah. And it makes you on your game. Right. All the time. Yeah. These premises are being monitored like those signs, but then it's by hot chicks.

Holy shit. All right. It's a good idea. It's a good idea. Yeah, right. And you got a camera in your house where they're watching you. And then you're like, well, fuck, I can't. I've spent way too long masturbating this morning.

I'm like, I gotta go get up and do two lactating men. I gotta go do something. Here's another episode. This is another episode. All right, Larry. Your show is like, it really is like a sermon. I hesitate to call it a podcast because it's, it comes off so polished and prepared. It really sucks you in and there's short,

so it sucks you into like five episodes in a row. Yes. Well, thank you very much, I'm glad you're digging it, man. Well, actually, every Sunday, there's a quite, you know, I've got a spin-off show now that's been running for a few weeks called Center Sunday.

And those are actually semi-Sermon life, for people who are fed up with their customary god-providers oh yeah the regular Tuesday ones uh... you know they're just they can they can go anywhere and uh... i'm having fun and thanks to you you know hey well uh... here's to another hundred all right larry go have a good

father's day thanks for calling hey thanks guy happy father's day so bye bye take care, fellas. You got any advice for coach on his new baby? Oh, yeah. You got any advice, coach seven kid. Yeah. Do you want advice, coach? Yeah, sure. Of course. You know, you probably already know this, but too many parents and I don't think of, you know, I don't know,

you're really well, but I know you're little. I don't think this would apply to you. But so many of them, they look at their kids, they think of their kids as almost trains, that they want to bolt to a set of rails. And that's a recipe for disaster. Yeah, it's good advice. You can see them all the ones. Right, the ones that make their kids take Mandarin

and preschool and you're gonna be a method of doctor. That'll fucking thing. It never ends well. I don't want to take Mandarin. I want them to take a class that teaches them how to do that racist voice. Yeah, they have it for children. Yeah, I don't want to, don't learn language,

just learn this funny voice. It's a way more important life skill. Maybe you do some business in Mandarin, but you learn this voice, everybody's gonna love you. Yeah, Master of Dialax is more important than foreign languages. Well, thanks Larry. But coach, just think of it as, you know, it's like the kid when you're teaching the kid to ride a bike, you know, you kind of run alongside and you just give the handlebars

little steer before he's going to crash. Yeah. That's the way. That's cool. I appreciate it. Right? You bet you, man. See you.

See you. See you guys. Take care. Happy Father's Day. Bye-bye. Oh. And then I got to play a song. I got tons of songs to get through that I enjoy playing, I mean, but, you know. Yeah.

I got it. I'm off like an asshole. Right. I get it. Yeah. I am. So much. So much.

So much. So much. So much. So much. So much. So much. So much. So much. generated content. It's really tough to get through things. I mean, there's just, you could play, you could play 10 songs in episode. Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah, I'm so glad you brought mom to the show today to fucking stump you. She did not help you. You know, it was at all. Yes, she did. She said the car was moving. She said the car was moving. She was Switzerland. Mom, you're going to need a big present. Big present. Well, she was the most of, she was the most objective probably to theater tickets. There's two shows. I was

the most objective. You were driving. You were driving. He was the, he was the spiller. It was my car. Your objectivity is out the window almost immediately. We both emotions get involved. So I think, yeah, I mean, she did back up your, yeah, your whole premise was wrong. Your whole premise was a lot. You don't even understand what happened, Dad. You were in a fit of rage. I need somebody else to be here other than you guys. No, you need a different show. You need a team of girls playing softball.

You just sit there and agree. That's what you need. That's what you're used to. All right, let's play. Do you remember when we were in Costa Rica, those years ago? Yes, I remember everything. Yeah, and you understand that. Yeah, and you.

You guys, I mean, these are grown adults. You guys separated, dick and his sister. In different cars. Yes. For like some robots, like because they couldn't get, they couldn't get along as adults. That's a rich family. You know, adult is a stretch.

Split the children among the cars and the caravan. They're rentals. It was a bunch of people. That makes a lot more sense than, you know, grab a nomen separating. I like this. You try that shit. You know, I can. He kicked your sister in the ass, which was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

He's not as slippery as me. I'm always such a pair for battle, Sean. She's been such a smart ass. You try to kick me in my ass. I will turn my ass into diamonds. Wow, I will tense it immediately. I'll catch your fucking shoelace in my asshole. If you try to kick me in my ass and shoot you over like a

entire shoe. Yeah. Okay, let's play. Um, let's play this hysterios dying remix. Oh boy. I think. What is he up to? Throwing up on podcasts.

Oh, I heard something about that. This is by Sean Humanity. Almost kill these kids. Yeah, there's some bad asses. They're the ones who want to. Yeah, they all have their own cool, unique weapon. I mean, I'm sorry, I wish. What the fuck is this? I mean, I'm sorry, I wish I could. Oh, fuck it, dude.

As derrius was on a podcast me through love, so they're remixing the audio. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You're all right. Yeah. Yeah. And he said he didn't want to release it,

because people would make remixes of it. Oh my. Oh my God. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's a good one. Wow. Let me see. I'm going to play another one.

Yeah. Another one of those? No. Just as S-On, not related to Stereo's throwing up. Oh, that's what that sound was. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, it's more entertaining. Stereo's what that sound was. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Now it's more entertaining.

Ashtereo's was on a show. And then during the middle of a conversation about Star Wars, he threw up and then immediately got right back into Star Wars. Like a true professional, except for the throwing up part, which was very unprofessional. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, here's a, Oh, here's a, we. We don't have it. We don't have a name for it yet.

It involves tweeting a lot. And playtrian is part of it. They're also involved lawsuits. Oh, man. It, uh, yeah. Telling people to go fuck themselves is part of it. Fight it in fights. I did a three hour go fuck. I think I told every Patreon

to go fuck themselves for three. It took three fucking hours. It was longer than three hours. Did you just sit here for that? No, no, no, no. I just ran it through some processing for him, but it was like three hours and 18 minutes or something like that.

Seriously, I saw the invitation. Yeah. And it was fun. Who would do that? No, that's what I was looking for. You made a deal. I made a deal. I give you a very special go fuck yourself.

For a buck or for five bucks. Do they get to tell you what to say or you just say? No, I couldn't. Dude, I'm speaking as fast as I can for three hours. Oh, yeah. How many? 3,800 people. Holy shit.

I timed myself doing it before posting the link, like before committing to it, because if it was taking seven hours, then I would have had to split it up because I couldn't talk after two hours. Wow. Just going through, going through like one name every, every two seconds or something like that is,

do you wanna hear a point? Yeah, I hear a little part of it. Just so you get an idea of how fast I have to really. Shit. Cause the one I saw, must have been you like taking a breather. Cause you, it could be. It took like 10 seconds.

To say one person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do that every once in a while. Yeah, or you make a little joke or something. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it could be. It took like 10 seconds to say one person. I do that every once in a while. Okay, yeah. Or you make a little joke or something. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's a joke. It's a full-size joke. He's not little, Sean.

Oh, I need it. No. You need a question, you're a joke man with. Do you drink while you're doing it? No. Oh, wow. I would have fucked up my throat too much. It would have slowed him down too.

Yeah, it would have slowed me down. I couldn't read as well. Okay, so this is an endurance thing. It was like a marathon. Yeah. Okay, here, let me play just a bit of it. Try to just go fuck yourself. Jonathan Rogel, go fuck yourself.

Gof Roth, go fuck yourself. Anthony Rodriguez, tune your go fuck yourself. Oh, really? Andrews Rodriguez Rodriguez, go fuck yourself. Blabberdrigas, go fuck yourself. You better fucking watch it, Blab. Joe Rodriguez, go fuck yourself. Blabberdrigas, blabberdrigas go fuck yourself. You better fucking watch it, Blah. Joe, you're not drunk. Go fuck yourself.

No, not very bad. Rodgers go fuck yourself. First for rock, go fuck yourself. No, what happened? There you go. Wow. That's on Patreon for fuck. That's cool.

You can get to see it. Let me see here. It's quite a profession. Yeah, yeah, right? We've made it. Yeah. In the ashes of the nation, you boomer destroyed. We're left to cobble together professions like this, where we horror ourselves out with ridiculous

stunts and spectacles, boxing people late at night at UFC gyms. It's either that or I'm talking to computers. This is like Mad Max, beyond the Thunderdome. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Okay, I is. Yeah, okay. I mean, where's Kale Underwood with thinking about a song about snacks? You guys need an explanation for that? Nope.

Okay. No, not me. I don't know what you're going to do. Mad Max has a real thing about being thanked for snacks that I don't think and for snacks. Snacks another word for something else? No, now you think so, but it's not. Although, I'm glad you said it. I mean, yeah, it's another word for his parents love.

Yes. Remind of me of what got cut out. That whole thing argument where he mentions the snacks, right? Got cut out. Yeah. That was a hack job that episode. Oh, yeah. Whoo. Yeah, they all were. And why did he take out that police conversation?

That was fascinating. Which one? The one where, I forget, you two are talking about police. Was it Trayvon Martin? Would it have something to do with that? Yeah, yeah, or Zimmerman. Yeah, Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin. Yeah.

He can't know. A minute, a minute salon conversation that was interesting. Yeah, I know. Okay, weird stuff. I don't know. I know. I know weird stuff. I'd love to know why. I mean, the other stuff, the UMS and whatever is funny,

but I'd love to know, that sounded like genuinely good radio. Oh, no, no, he, well, because he doesn't connect with what makes, you know, radio or podcasts engaging. But he usually doesn't cut big sections like that. Apparently, he does. He does. It got bigger as the show went on. Right, that's interesting too.

We would argue more. Yes. And I had more of a strong, I had stronger opinion as the show went on. Do people like that though? And you're good at arguing. Well, it depends. He's smart. Yeah.

Well, I mean, but not necessarily. It's it's more than that though. I don't win arguments. I just make people feel bad. Yeah, yeah. That's well. Isn't that kind of a, you know, the people who win debates aren't always right. Yeah. You know, I mean, being right and winning at a better two different things. Exactly. Destiny when he so comes off like the winner. When he announced that he was no longer doing political. Yeah.

I have talks that wasn't going gonna be a stream's focus anymore. Somebody told me this, I didn't listen to it. In his stream, he spent like two minutes talking about how stupid I am. This is his like goodbye speech. And like, yeah, I think that I fucking won that argument then. If you really think about how stupid I am. When was this?

Why is he stopping? A couple months ago. He actually mentioned because he heard that little, he heard that came out was having a sale and little boys pinched with a pop off. I'm in Ben Shapiro marching down the aisle. Oh, I met the pedophile joke of that. Yeah. Yeah. My little boys. But I guess Bob, but they buy a little man. They both Ben Shapiro and Destiny met in a little boy's changing room. In Devoring to commit acts of pedophilia.

Boy, were they surprised? Coach, I'm unsuitable. Yeah. Say whatever I could say anything I want. Yeah. All right, here's the snacks. What did I say this guy? I don't say anything I want. All right, here's the snacks. What did I say this guy's the one? I don't remember. Let me get it right.

Sean Humanity. Yes. Nope, that was a stereo. This is kale underwood. Right. Snacks, snacks. Well, that's not okay. There we go.

Stats with images. I am close. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. That's on top of the time it takes for me to prepare the snacks. I'm laughing. Wow. I'm laughing my ass off in the bit because it's so fucking stupid.

Oh, man. He poured spicy peanuts into a bowl. Snacks, motherfucker. That's not a joke. Yeah. Okay, so this, this conversation happened in episode 73. Prepare. Like he's baking!

Oh my god! What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? Let me get the Antoyd's on, Lex. Yeah. And you, then. That's funny. That's really funny. That's not funny. That's really funny.

That's not really... That's not really... That's not really... That's not really... That's not really... That's not really... That's not really... That's not really...

That's not really... That's not really... That's not really... That's not really... That's not really... That's not really... That's not really... That's not really... That's not really... That's not really... That's not really... That's one of the, I don't think I laughed harder on that show

than right then. It was just so absurd to me. Wow, that is funny. Now he's gonna. Snacks. 30 second fade out, I guess, all right buddy. Hey Anto, I do there. Sleepin'.

Is he sleeping? Oh my God, is he? Is he, is that a dog is on Mike? He sounded, dog is on Mike he sounded that was a snow right? Yeah, let's make I'm gonna leave him on Mike. Let's see if we don't sleep and toys Antoids. Oh, it's come on.

All right. Okay, buddy. Well, Antoids usually brings in some gems that he found from the uncooked. He might have stayed up late last night editing. Uncooked. Reverse editing. Yeah, right, right, right.

Yeah. Well, hope he right, right. Yeah. Well, hope he wakes up. That's funny. Oh, should I leave him on? Yeah. OK, I'll leave him on Mike. I mean, if it keeps going, I'm curious. He might wake up.

Let's see here. Someone might know his phone number, call him. Wake up, you motherfucker. I got some comments I'll read. I got some advice to dad. Do you want to give people advice? What about what? Fashion mostly.

Fashion. There he is again. Oh, okay. No, they've got, no, they've got, I love fashion. They've got specific questions about life. Oh, someone call it, someone's calling it. That's a, I think.

Yeah. Sean, what? You and I had that argument about what is offensive when it comes to drag queens, cross dressers and transvestists, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, there's somebody straighten us out. Yes, I asked Jeff. What's this?

Sean and I. We weren't sure what in the order, the, which terms you can use to be more offensive or less offensive. Oh, yeah, that's cool. I said drag queen was the least, was the most preferable. Yeah, that sounds. Yeah, what? You said transvestite, I think. No, I, we had, I said trans queen was the least was the most preferable. Yeah, that sounds. Yeah, what you said trans is the performative art. Okay.

The most queens live normal boy lives, and don the outfit to play the character on stage. In most cases, the performer is he off stage and she off stage. So, there you go. Transvestite cross dresser. These are, I guess, offensive now. Yeah, I would think.

But honestly, what are most of the gay and trans community are too thin skinned offensive now. Yeah, I would think. But honestly, what are most of the gay and trans community or two thin skinned for me? No fucking shit. These terms used to be a catch-all to identify any person who dresses as their opposite gender. There you go. Okay.

That surprises me that... Sean is handsome, but wrong, he says. Oh. Mm-hmm. I'll take that. I'll take that. Did he order them then? Did he order what? Did he put them in order?

He didn't really put them in order. Now, he just said drag queen was better than the other two. Okay, so then I, yeah, then I obviously got them out of order. What did you say, what did you say, you're right? Yeah, I said drag queen is the preferable term for them. Oh, well, it's, it's art. I mean, that makes sense. Okay, here, let me get to, let me find some advice.

That sounds like a good test on the psychological questionnaire. Would you rather be right or handsome? Hmm. It's sleeping there in the back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah we go. Okay. Antoids. It's a lot of notes. Yeah.

You know, he's probably got the gate set too, which means that he's probably snoring all the time. But only when it breaks the threshold to hear it. I was thinking that too. Yeah. There it is. Yeah. Where's the butter at? I tried your I like your shoes line the first time tonight Result head in an alley from a foreign girl. All right. Thanks again dick. Cheers. My life has changed Since the guys who need to get laid episode of the biggest problem in the universe a few years ago. How about that? Pretty good. Yeah, that's proof. Did you got any lines pick up lines for just one person at a time? You're helping that's that's what it's all about. Yeah, that's proof. Did you got any lines to pick up lines for the women? Just one person at a time you're helping.

That's what it's all about. Yeah. Well, that's a whole California thing. 50, 60,000. Yeah. That's a lot of time. Do you got any lines for how to pick up, what was the first thing you said to mom?

Do you remember that? Uh-oh. I like your jeans. Oh, okay. Jins, I like those jeans, you know? Well, we probably create some good-looking kids. Is that what you meant? What kind of jeans?

I just like the jeans. You don't do of jeans, you know? Well, we probably create some good looking kids is that what you meant? What kind of jeans? I just like the jeans. You don't do anything good. I keep the thought about it. Do you remember the jeans? Yeah, they were a bell bottom. Did they have any designs on them or patterns? She's not my mom. No jeans, I'm not mowing her head.

You could still have a pattern on jeans. You know, they rip holes in jeans. They were, you pay more. They were kind of a take off on Navy clothing because the front was higher waisted. Oh yeah, yeah. I've seen them. Yeah, they had pleats.

Yeah, yeah. So, they were really thin and clung well. It was great. Oh, yeah. And then what, you asked, set up a date right then? What's happening? What's next? What's going on?

Why are you checking back? Why are you looking back? Yeah, I thought your memory was perfect. Yeah. Yeah, I stumped if you say the wrong thing. Yeah, really, I could lose out. No, I, we, we became friends, actually. But that's, that's how we introduced myself.

This is college, right? Yeah, college. They were such close friends, they had multiple children together. All right. I'm gonna get these. Here's advice question. So that's why I liked your shoe advice

because it's true. It's great. Closing sky is good. Things just move south. It was the pants were back then, or the jeans. Yeah. And you know, the thing is, it's just letting somebody know

that you want to bang the surprise. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, whatever. Yeah. This question's from Rob. Big question, should I have a third kid? I currently have two high energy boys with my wife

and short, they're fucking great, but a lot of work. We always wanted a bigger family and we were originally thinking of having four. After our first, that number dropped to three. And after our second, it went down to two. Recently, though, we are hitting a point where the youngest is a bit more independent and the kids as a whole are way more self-sufficient.

This has eased some pressure on us and made us start considering adding a third. Dude, Nick needs to answer this. Nick, racquet, who's got five kids. I think we know the answer that he's gonna say. Well, Nick needs to answer this. Nick, racket, who's got five cares. I think we know the answer that he's gonna say. Have five kids. But they seem very happy, his wife seems happy too. So I'd love to actually know his.

What do you think, Ted? Well, it depends on where you live. If you can afford them. Sure. And how smart you are. I like a smaller group setting than large group setting. You like a more intimate relationship with your kids you're saying. Yes.

Well, you want something to do. I think he should just get a mistress. It sounds like, I mean, less work, a little bit more work, not as much work, no commitment. That sounds like what you should do, buddy. Green says, I love the show. Moving on. Congrats on winning the lawsuit. I'm 21. I have full-time employment

where I make okay money and still live at home a while ago, and ex-girlfriend attempted to falsely accuse me of sexual assault. And shout out to Keon, who, through what was just falsely accused me of sexual assault. Oh. And shout out to Keon, who through what was just a regular level of conversation, was the hero who in hindsight stopped me from buying tickets to Greenland. Whoa.

Whoa. Sexual assault, man. Acquization is no joke. No. Soon as it's out there, it's done. Yeah. Doesn't matter what happens next. No.

And luckily, I was able to escape this disaster with no damage caused to my career or personal life. Only one closest friend even knows this happened to me. Well, not anymore. However, this has wrecked my ability to seek out a relationship or hook up or even talk with women. Well, I guess that'll happen. I've hooked up a few times with different women since bragging.

Did you make a sign of release before? Yeah. Just film, look, very easy to solve this. Secretly film all of your sexual encounters with women, which you should be doing anyway, because you're gonna wanna give those a second look. You know, they make cameras are very small these days. You have to have a film.

Game film? The game film, exactly. This is for your these days. You have a game film. Game film? The game film, exactly. This is for your personal enjoyment. It's in your home. You can do whatever you want. Everything has weird lights on it. I never enjoyed game film day. No.

No, because my, all my mistakes were shown to the entire team. Uh-huh. Dan, what are you doing here, coach? Yeah, that's weird when you talk about sports. It doesn't really work. Coach, coach, I'm coach. Actually, coach, what are you doing here? Well coach, coach.

Well coach, maybe, yeah, I'm the coach here now. Not sure this is a very easy question to answer, but how do I get back in the world of dating after this? I don't know. You got any advice for this guy, Ted? That's a long story. Maybe he should try men. Oh, this is a great advice episode.

It's easy. Just get back to the gym and get in shape and you'll look better. You'll feel better, and your brain will work better, you'll be sharper. Yeah. Switch off. Don't overthink it. Don't overthink it. Yeah, just right. That's right. Your brain is doing too much thinking. You need to get your dick in shape for doing some thinking. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Stolen your gut. Your gut has a brain of its own. So you got to get the nutrition down. He's, he's your de-doisters or something like that? What do you mean? No, no, nutrition.

Good, yeah, get to the gym. Good nutrition. Eat right. Get the nutrition to the both brains. And then he won't be afraid to get, but I think there's some fear there, no? That's, but that's coming from your mind. Your dick is never afraid.

That's right. Well, no, your dick will fuck anything. I'm even, I'm thinking of everything. Not even this species, it'll make you, it'll make you do crazy things. You need to start pumping some testosterone through those veins. Yeah.

There's scents. There's scents. There's a lorry. He's getting up now. Maybe. Did you have any schedule for a quarter tail? I don't have a schedule. I have a schedule.

It's kind of a slurps. Slaptic operation. Somebody's trying to call him. Yeah. You know what, I'll tell you what not to do. What not to do. Sit on your couch with your laptop, watching porn, eating fatty foods.

Yeah. That's fucked up. Correct. Okay. All right. Let's get advice. I don't know if anybody's doing that, but that's, no, here's the thing. I think all of them are doing that.

Everybody in the entire world is doing that. Every time, and every time you wanna do that, just go to the gym. If you do that, even if you do it for 20 minutes, it takes care of itself. Yeah, 20 minutes, all it takes. Okay, let me read, let me read from the online questions.

I think these are a little shorter. It's Samuel Poceno. To Dix Dad, did you ever replace the Optimus Prime that you were holding the other car? I think we answered that one. No. Ross Dix and Ellis says he wants to know if you ever got me a new Optimus Prime. No, you did not. These are the only ones he's going to read. Stay corrupted. So we get, do we get your dad's taking the shaved ice story? We did.

And we got my mom's take too. That's a bonus bonus. That's true. And also I'm supposed to do it. Exactly what Ellis saying. and we got my mom's take to that's a bonus bonus better true and also exactly what I was saying. What else did I break? Did I break anything else of yours? Oh boy, here you go. You learned from that that

whole experience. Uh oh. Ants, ah. Ah. Ah. I'm so glad you let me let me let me.

It's like a zombie. Uh, um,, what do these people let me go to sleep? Campbell wants to know, how do I get a big, titty, goth girlfriend? Do you have any advice for how to do that? Well, first of all, change your appearance. Okay, sit on the couch, eat some demographic and go change yourself to look like the person you're going after. So you should have big tits and be goth? Well, I think you can look like a vampire.

Be goth, but don't, no, don't grow tits, grow biceps. Okay. Like you, you know, yes, thank you. Be Wesley Snipes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, okay. So Kimball, you got to do black face, what? And not pay your taxes. Yeah. Yeah.

Carry around. Carry around to Samurai. So you know what, Keon told me that Wesley Snipes got out of that whole deal because on his tax form, return form, he wrote, I do not consent or I do not admit that what, no what? But he did, he did go to jail, didn't he? I look, I don't know. That's just what busted him.

Yes. Keon told me that he wrote, I, he wrote, do not with a little like, carrot on his tax forms that where it says, I, I, I submit to perjury and all that shit. He wrote, I do not submit to all that. Here's the thing. And then he's like, yeah, well, I signed that contract.

So they, they said, well, okay. Well, I do think he went to jail. Yeah, but probably a lot less jail. The taxes are definitely a fringe area of the law in that if you really try to make a stink, they'll make it a pain in the ass so most people don't do it, but you can do some sovereign citizenship with it and get away with a lot of it. I've heard that. Until you don't. Right, right, there's still gonna fuck with you

because they don't want most people to do it. But you know, the thing is, for most people who make enough money, it's not worth it, right? It's like just pay it. It's not worth your time. Okay, this is from Darth, Darth Reddix. Why does your adult son keep shitting in your underwear? I was like,

Joe question. Yeah, that's a joke question. Can't micro, how do you deal with your son's shitting in your underwear? Did you ever find which part of underwear that was? No, I just threw him all the way. Yeah, okay. My best.

I bought a new pack. Wasteful. Scorched earth policy. Crap Cripe says, how much money should you have before you have a kid? That's says, how much money should you have before you have a kid? That's it. How much money should you have? 50 bucks, 100 bucks.

Enough to pay the doctor for delivering the kid. Yeah, okay. There's a good start. And then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, baby tags, you know, stuff like that. But if you're asking yourself that question, you may not have enough money. You have to ask can't afford it. You can't afford it. Yeah. Good. Good one. Okay.

Cern Bradley says, after the first child, what is the perfect age for a second child? Should I even have a second? I think obviously not. You guys have had nothing but regrets about your for having a second child, should I even have a second? I think obviously not. You guys have had nothing but regrets about your for having a second child. Yeah, right. 4.6 year separation seems to be the optimal age. And preferably you have a boy and a girl

because if you have two boys, they'll beat the shit out of each other all the time. That's true. It's hilarious. But it is funny. What about two girls? It's hysterical. Two girls, I don't That's true. That's hilarious. Yeah. But it is funny. What about two girls?

Two girls, I don't know. I think that's hilarious. He said he's happy about it. That's a less competitive dynamic. Oh, yeah, I saw two boys fucking with each other the day. I was just like, oh man. They do. The problem is you'll condone it and you'll promote it.

That's the problem. Oh, no. The problem was that they immediately spoke ketchup everywhere. Well, now it's your problem. Yes, yes. Numerow Perdido says, how do we solve the boomer problem? How do we solve the,

haven't seen an animation in a fucking year problem? Yeah. Well, first you have to define the boomer problem you want to solve. Oh, boy. Bying about stories. Just define it in a way that you can succinctly address it because right now, he's like,

oh, we got this going on and this going on. It's shut up. Shut up. It's about right. You guys ruined it. You guys fucked up the whole economy. No, the whole economy. We fucked it all up.

And student loans, you guys messed that up. We opened the door for them. How the hell else are you gonna get a student loan unless somebody starts doing it? We started it. Yeah, we have to, it works. They shouldn't have, what's the word should have happened? What's the word should have never happened? Why not?

Oh my God! What do you mean why not? What's the, what's the driven up? The cost of college has increased like more than anything else in the world, hasn't it? Yes. Yeah, and they're not providing any additional value, it's worse, it's less valuable every year. Well, what's the alternative?

Oh, leave them stupid. Okay, that works. No, it doesn't make any more smart. You cannot borrow money to get smarter. Well, college does is create Democrat voters. What are you, Hillary voters? What do you mean? They may stay Hillary for a while,

but it's like I always say, you know, when you're 18, if you're not a Hillary lover, you have no heart. But if you're still a Hillary lover, you have no brain, no brain. Like he said, it'll all come out. My dad's classic saying that he coined. Yeah, that he coined. It trademarked. That's the Boomer problem we're talking about. guys taking credit for things you believe that you believe that people get smarter by going to college

No, I think they mature more. Yeah, and that's can we just have like only premise that's very expensive to teach him to mature to mature We should just have mature school. Yeah, keep a bit home in your basement. So they know like stupid leeches Alternate you get up in college get maybe they get lucky and meet somebody with money and they move the fuck out And they write one popular book and then yeah complain about snacks. No exactly Or they live in your basement. I don't think those are the two options seems Seems to be with the millennials and you guys seem to identify with those. That's because you guys didn't make any trade school. How dare you. Oh, you did give people a bunch of money.

Spend on dumb sociology degrees. And Polly Simon. Yeah, you guys did do that. Yeah, but Polly Simon, I should. That's messing us up. That stuff is pretty. Self-esteem. That's all stupid. If really, if somebody with no aspiration to make money,

it's a great opportunity to waste time and money. But somebody that wants to make money, you get the fuck out of there, come on. That's the whole thing is about hiring that out. That's what college is about. You guys aren't retiring. So I had a fence of daycare. You guys aren't retiring either.

That's messing up the job market for all of us. I was sitting around here a year ago. Yeah, but you know, in general, boomers are just around. I don't have shit to do with anybody else but myself. Okay, well, is that a boomer thing? Yeah, it is a boomer thing. That's good. It's called self preservation.

Yeah, all right. Let's see here. Aaron Eastler, when was the first time you were rooting for your son to get laid? That's an appropriate question while he has something like that. All his life. Since yeah, I you were rooting for your son to get laid? That's an appropriate question. Well, he has something like that All his life since yeah, I'm already rooting for it Everybody should have fun the day the gender reveal party Justin Beakley did your dad ever think you were going to be a complete failure at what point and for how long?

That's another joke question. It was a joke. Yeah. You're not the majority. It's Dick more like his mother or you. That's probably a joke question. We know the answer. It's a combo. It's a combo.

It's a combo, yeah. Really? Yeah, what parts? About 60, 40. 60 me, 40 her. I was thinking the other way. No, you don't know. It's just like my assessment, yes.

What's your take on this? What's your take on this job, lynch mob stuff, getting more and more popular every month, asks Jim Fee? Well, I don't think it's getting more popular. You know, just looking at the trajectory of this phenomenon, it's petering out, so to speak, but what to choke? But what to have? What do you mean, it's Pete? How's it's petering out, so to speak, but what to choke. But what's happening? It's peat. Wow. It's a joke. Because it's like every other social fad, it's

going to peter out. I mean, it's going to have a high point. The fact that you're getting into much more odd ball types of arrangements like this, this Chris Adkins cat. What's Chris Hardwick? Yeah, Chris Hardwick. The fact that that's coming out now is that everybody's now trying to find anything yeah because all the hard core stuff like wine being has a cause be has already has already come out so now there's going to sustain the fad there's going to be much more apparent types of things that are gonna be reported. And that's usually what happens with a fad. It goes gangbusters until it starts to peter out. So I think most of the egregious things have already come out.

If there's more, I'll be surprised. But there's been a lot of finger pointing that has already gone on and it's starting to wane. Okay. I hear you guys being concerned because you have lab, you have exposure. Well, because it's happened to us. Well, yeah, yeah.

The stereo has expired. Cause of this job, Lynch mob shit. Yeah. It's cost me a lot of money to defend. And it's cost me a it's it has definitely cost me Everything I had built in comedy up until the rapist video hit like there was there's a guy Jensen carp who's one of the judges for tournament nerds He's got he's very funny guy. Uh-huh. He would he would brutalize comedians that got up

and did a shitty job at nerds. It was hilarious. He made a guy cry. Oh, yes. Yeah. Ironically, that guy also got drummed out of comedy for some kind of rape accusation. I think I know the guy you're talking about.

James Ross, who should call in? I'd love to hear his side of that fucking story. Jensen was talking about the lawsuit and laughing about it on his show, on his podcast this week, which was cool because he's got a huge show and he's got this great art gallery on Melrose, where it's all eight-bit art. I think it's called eight, it's eight-bit something. What would your nephew think of that? Yeah. It looks like it's all crummy. Yeah. Um, so I hit him up on Twitter and said, Hey, man, it's

good. I'm glad you like the lawsuits. I'm glad you think they're funny. Please enjoy them as much as possible. They cost me a fuckload of money to produce this comedy for you. Yeah. Might as well get something out of it. Yeah. Bill Burr was talking about it too, but somebody wrote him a very poorly written email that

didn't get the point across fast enough. If he's a dickhead, then, you know, I appreciate it, but you did mess up that email. I was one step back. But Jensen, I hit up on Twitter saying, Hey, I'd love to have you on the show. We can laugh about this lossy, like trying to, trying to rebuild this shit one person at a time. So I don't go down as a rapist or whatever rape apologists like whatever magical creature that they've created in this stupid

new petrude puritanical hysterical world. He responded that he would on Twitter but then it deleted and I don't know if I sent him an email but you know there's just no telling it's still just going to avoid like if it's bad to talk to me period, then people just don't do it, which sucks. Don't you think I like that guy? Don't you think a lot of people, you know, in hindsight of the lawsuit and everything like that? Don't you think a lot of people have gone, oh, maybe Maddox is a fucking nut job. Yeah, I think that that has happened, but the brand of sexism,

it's called taint. The taint, yeah. Yeah. It's so powerful that they can't even get you. You're a little radioactive. Yeah. You know what, I can see where it's really personal and understand that, but what I'm saying about it's waning is that it's becoming less so you just happen to be at the nexus of the thing.

And also you were very visible. You were, you know, people are jealous. And jealousy is a real thing. You know, I hear. Well, that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's so beautiful. Jealousy fingers, you know. Make people do bad things.

So, but I think after all said and done, I think you're much better off having gone through it because you now have a much richer tapestry to offer in the way of comedy. Taintistry. Yeah, Taintistry. offer in a way of comedy taintistry. Yeah, taintistry. Yes, tapestry of my taint. And you're going to, it's a very beautiful, for better, for worse.

That's for worse. You're going to, you're going to come out of this, I think, and move forward. Yeah. I really think that, I think that strongly. I think it's going to be really, in the long run. I think it's going to get worse because advertisers have to cater to women because women are making all the purchasing decisions and they're going to more aggressively cater to a certain percentage of women's eternal victim complex.

I think every single, like every single me too guy who gets done up for doing what they're hating on Has is gone record all the time talking about how women need to be believed and that they need to go on Chris Hardwick Go women need to go on social media and they have to speak their mind. It's like yeah, dude But you're I mean, is it how's that for irony? Right? I Think it's gonna get worse just what you really do up? Yeah, okay. What did they do in idiocracy? You know, they had Starbucks for men. That was the logical conclusion of what men would get.

What was the female version of that? Did they go into that at all? Well, hookering was legal. They had like, Oh, so women just became hookers. Yeah, they had like hooking license. Timberay hooker. We got a release on a temporary ho-

Right, temporary ho- temporary ho-ring license. Oh,er. A temporary hooring license. Remember? They should remake anocracy from a woman's point of view. That movie is a man's future. They should do that in many different ways. Make that movie in like 12 different ways. Yeah, they should.

Every year they make it in one. All right, let me see. Speaking of moving forward, let's see if Antoids found anything from the biggest problem in the universe uncucked episodes. Hey, you there, buddy. Uh, yeah, you're awake. Good morning. Yeah.

Sorry. Um, uh, like I said, the chat, it came after the end of two eight hours shifts in a row. And like, I've been home for four hours after that. So it was the perfect amount of rest. It falls. Uh, what do you do? What's your shift that? Or do you not want to say bullshit? and like, I've been home for four hours after that. So it was the perfect amount of rest, and it falls asleep. What do you do? What's your shift that, or do you not want to say?

Bullshit, retail. OK. Yeah. All right. Well, we were listening to you snorfer a while. Yeah. That's it. How was that?

I heard I put on a pretty good performance. It wasn't too bad. And if I had to sleep next to that, I'd consider myself lucky. Right. Yeah, I know. It's's cute and the vibrating phone was also funny. Yeah Yeah, buddy. What do you got for us this week in the uncut? I so I sent you two of them. I think I sent you one called a psychology or maybe it was opinions Yeah, whatever whichever one that is take all that one. Okay. I'm going to play the, I'll play the uncooked version first.

That seems to be the winning corner. Of course. Okay. Here is what episode is this from? This one, I think, is 89. It's the one where he's talking about, so I think it'll be a part of the clip. What's that? He did Antoy did all the uncooked. Yeah, yeah. That's awesome.

Antoy does all the reverse audio, unengineering. Awesome job, dude. Yeah. Okay. Here's the uncooked version of psychologist from episode 89. We'll see what Maddox cut. The psychology today article. No study cited in there. not a single study was cited in there. It's just all anecdotal and it's, no, it's experts opinions.

It's experts opinions, psychologists. Right. Well, they're not armchair psychologists, they're actual psychologists with opinions. Right. My doctor has opinions too. My doctor has opinions on what you should listen to them. Well, not the opinions. I want the actual studies. The doctor gives you his opinion. He says, like, I think you might

have cancer. You got to get that. That's not a study. That's his opinion. Oh my gosh, Dick. I'm not talking about those opinions. I'm talking about any kind of opinions that they have outside of the realm of medicine or science. Like,, like look, I don't want anecdotal evidence here. If I don't, it is. It is, it is like Kylie Jennings says, we might be codependent, but you're like, Penny studies.

Okay, so that was, let's see how that turned out in the Cucked version. Oh my God. Always a winning, well, a winning property arguing about the opinions of doctors. Yeah, it's just arguing about the definition of the word opinion. Yeah. Yeah, okay, here we go.

Here's the cucked version. What do we call it? The psychology today article, no studies cited in there, not a single study was cited in there. It's just all anecdotal and it's, no, it's an expert's opinions. I don't want anecdotal evidence here. I thought anecdotes.

It is. It is. It is like Kylie Jennings says, we might be codependent, but you didn't like any studies. That was it. What a whole middle game. And he just, he just takes out the entire, so the reason I brought it in is

because he just takes out the entirety of you just telling him what an opinion he pinnets. Yeah, what is an opinion? Yeah. Which is what he does. I mean, he cuts all that kind of stuff. I think I talked about this in the very first room with the Honey one.

Yeah. That's incredible. I'm imagining the second, the economics won a similar to that. I'm going to play a little boy. Yeah, it's pretty much a similar thing. It's funny, because I really expected there to be a lot of Tim Chang's cuts this week, but the only thing that he cut was you asking

Sean, oh Sean, like what did you think of how he did? And you're like, oh, he was funny. He started the program correctly. So, oh, when he was there and I wasn't. Yeah. Right. By the way, Sean's not going to be here next week. Johnny's coming back. Oh, yeah. Oh, good. Okay. All right. Yeah. We're going to that's going to be a late episode too, because we get a record on a Tuesday. I'm going to be at a half-spot. All right. Here we go. Here's the uncucked version of economics. This should be painful. Andrew. Listen, Andy. No, no, no. Andy, listen here, here's what I want to know. What financial institution is safe from bankruptcy? Because you're claiming that the lottery commission is something that can go bankrupt?

Well, sure. But where are the statistics? How often? Well, the N.S. and P would be an example of that, like an index fund. Sure. A stock market. Everything can go bankrupt. No, no, no, no, that's an example of something that doesn't go bankrupt.

Oh, this is a cycle of funds. Well, yeah, but the stock market crashes all the time, did. Well, yeah, as if we end up in huge recession, you lose lots of equity. It doesn't crash and take your index and remove your index completely. It's just everything devalues and then it grows again. That's why an index will beat out a money manager in the long run, or at least get to parity. But if you invest in that index and during your lifetime, it dips and you need to withdraw

those funds, you've done worse than leaving it in the lottery in the bank accounts of the lottery or whoever whatever commission it is that's responsible for leaving your funds. Yeah, I, you know, I would like to see some, some statistics. If the majority of lottery commissions go bankrupt, that's sound financial. Is that true? I would, I would buy that. All right. No, no one even knows what he's talking about. Yeah, because the, the, so that was in response to some economic leaving a voicemail or an email or something. And he was saying, oh, he was saying, he was saying as a joke, I think, yeah, well, what if the lottery,

what if the guy's paying out the lottery go bankrupt, then what idiot, then why would you take the annuity? Yeah. Um, but he was also making a bunch of good points about how what you could do is take the annuity. Yeah. But he was also making a bunch of good points about how what you could do is take the lump sum and invest it intelligently, and it would make up for the interest yours. Here's the, here's the cut version,

just for your interview. Andy, you used my name. Listen, Andy, New York Times writer. No, no. Yeah, you know, I would like to see some statistics. If the majority of the law we take, yeah. The entire, that would like to see some statistics if Oh, so it's all the majority Yeah, the entire that's like what happens all the time is he just takes out the entire He just takes out the entire conversation. It's it's crazy. He butchers the thing

Yeah, everybody asked you for I get a lot of questions about investment advice from people to Lomba Jackson's how do you teach a kid about money? The issue the first thing is tie it to benefit rewards that type of thing so not getting hit not getting your toys thrown in the street Yeah, yeah, so you have to buy your own toys and don't throw your shit in my back seat What you want to do is give them a Concept so if they do chores, they get money. If they wanna buy something, this is an advanced concept,

you match what they save. And it gets it real simple. Employer matching, your parents did that? Yeah. Well, did they match one to one? Yeah. Well, you could have got, you should get more than that.

I only, I didn't want that much. I got most, it was for big purchases. I'd have to save it. It should be like proportional to your incomes That's the matching That's fair. I was fair This step number one by the way, this is what a thing's how do you most effectively get back at a dad who never loved you and refuses to accept that you were even born? That's oddly specific.

Just be gay. Just boy. Ignore him. Ignore him. Yep. As long as you think about somebody they exist, that's what's in common's belief system. Oh really?

Yeah, he believed that as long as you think of me, then I exist. That's good. So if you really want to hate somebody, just make them not exist. Hmm, that's cool. That's cool. All right. All right, Antoids.

Thank you for, thank you for reverse engineering these. I love them. No problem, man. We've got what two sets left? Yeah, two sets. Unless I release all the bonus episodes, which I might That would be crazy. Why would anyone do that? Yeah, I don't know. All right, buddy I'll see you next. We'll talk to you next week. I hope all right. Have a good one. Go back to sleep

You know where he is is Midwest or I don't know We're gonna do and a half job. All right, let me get I got I We got to wrap up. We got to go have a father's day and I want to listen to some voice mails coach We never got to what makes you want to make you a rage Ah, I don't know anything not really dad You got anything what makes what makes you a rage? God I I guess it's all you people younger than boomers.

Yeah, pretty much. Holding you to task on the things you've destroyed. No, no, not at all. More like, you know, our whole thing was to continue with our parents thing of making things better for you than it was for us. Don't appreciate it. And continue to continue Roosevelt's dream.

Yeah. And you don't appreciate it, and continue to continue in Roosevelt's dream. Yeah. And you got damned entitled shit, still even understand how much better off you are. Now the future looks kind of glum, I guess, but hey, at least you got a future, okay? My future's getting dimmer, and dimmer. This is the boomer version of I walked 12 miles in a snow. No, I'm gonna die soon.

No one feels bad about me. I'm not gonna live forever in the singularity. What do you think you guys made better for us? Well, all the number one is that you have computers that sit on your, they sit right there. I mean, you got a whole computer that lays your hands sitting there. We didn't have anything.

We had like an adding machine and then we had a electric and, you know, all computer, the middle of your hand, sitting there. We didn't have anything. We had like an adding machine, and then we had a electric, and you know, that shit was so big and bulky. And you guys get to carry around a little phone, and then you sit on it, it worked on it all day. Yeah, it's got, I'm trying to do that, but I'm just one of the very few boomers that even attempts it.

A pot, a chicken in every pot, a Ford in every driveway, and a sociology degree in every pocket. I think. It's what the boomers mentality was. The war on drugs, you guys, you guys made a big time. Yeah, that was great for us, thanks. Yeah, I'm sorry.

I'm really, we did not do that. That was the guys before us that did the war on drugs. Oh, you're a parents. Yes, you're a parents, really. They talk to you guys. Yeah, look, Ronald Reagan. God, damn, man,. He just he built up on look look what he did He allowed all of her north to import crack cocaine

Sell it in South LA take the money back to Central America and give it to the Sandinistas foes to fight communism All the name of fighting communism. So what happens? to fight communism all the name of fighting communism so what happens south central becomes the crack capital and the gang capital of the world and the war in the crypts Just beat the shit out of each other well Everybody just went about their business selling the arms. Yeah, so that wasn't us What do you mean that wasn't us man? That was that was Ronald Reagan's. Oh, that was just her first Ronald Reagan, their perfect society. He was a sleeper agent for your parents. Nobody ever thought that we'd sing that out, but we did. Yeah.

Okay. So you guys are a gust that there aren't contras getting guns because we're selling good games. You guys can't be blamed for anything. Stopping short, selling, you know, the war on drugs. Now are you talking about destroying student loans? How? And are you talking about US, US boomers or are you talking a world wide bridge?

US, US, US was the man. So why are you just blaming us? Wait, let me ask you. I'm the world. Do you have, there's boomers on the world. Do you think too? Do you think that your generation was better than your parents generation?

Better, better or better off? Just say, let's just say better. I mean, do you think that your generation was better than your parents' generation? Better or better off? Just say, let's just say better. I mean, do you think you guys did more for the United States citizens then? No, no, no. I saw the things that they did as far as technologically and culturally, societally, and given where they were coming from

because most of them had nothing. Vast majority had absolutely nothing. So they pushed on with, so yeah, they did a great job. You know, they laid the groundwork for what technology we do have. Now they also, is congratulating everybody. Everybody did a great job.

Well, guys, everything's fucked fucked because it's all too hard. It's our perception of it. This is the way in the new Trump era we talk. We always want to make sure we know they're okay. They're cool. This is all business. Yeah, but I think are the perfect general, what do they call them? The greatest generation. Yeah, greatest generation.

They did exactly what they had to do. Well, it's easy when you have a war, you either win or you lose. Well, you do develop a lot of technological things. Yeah, they've been enforces you. They've forced a whole military industrial complex to the great, that's what they fucking job they did. They built nuclear bombs and then giving them

to all the bad guys. But you know what is the alternative? Building it up was good, I guess. Not bringing it down fast enough. Thanks for fucking dead, thanks for committing us to a constant state of war. Thanks a lot. You're welcome. That was your parent. Oh, yes, that was your parents. I'm thanking you on their behalf. Yeah, because they're man, they're in their 90s now. I got one last question. Well, maybe two. Dick's dad, tell us a story about Dick that you know he doesn't want you to tell. That's a good one. Oh man. Where's that line? Oh, jeez. You know, he's like, man, do I tell the story about when I found him masturbating in the time that he got the

alcohol poisoning? What do you mean that's every day? No, that was the wedding was no. This is this was when I hear this story. Oh, geez. Never mind. This is to heal by the court. Yeah. And I was doing four shots. Yeah. And it was totally yeah. 23 25. Wow. Yeah. Really? Peak, peak drinking. Wait a minute. You got punched in the head by your sister. Yeah, that's true. Not a good night. Yeah. I tried to do that. I stopped drinking that night.

Yeah. For a week. No, forever. I've had a couple of relapses, but I stopped drinking after that. It was so significant for me. Yeah, that was not that mulling. And I'm not gonna say that.

I don't wanna quantify it, but I vowed never to drink again after that. And I did. I've done a pretty good job. I had a couple of slip-ups and nobody'd feel. Yeah, it's exact. I'm in the same way. Okay, so that was the story.

Real drinking. I think you did learn the lesson from falling down the hill in neighbor's yard. Yeah, smelling like rosemary for a month. Oh God, it was in your hair and your ears. It was bad. We lost track. All right. Oh, that was interesting. Look at them trying to divert the conversation quickly. Okay. All right. Sean, you go ahead. I didn't. I didn't. Oh, yeah.

Okay, this is um, hey, wait up. Hey, Dallas. That's the next time. Oh, yeah, Dallas coach. You're going to be in Dallas. All right, road rage Dallas tickets are on sale. June 30th at the door. Is it a big place? Yes, it is, it is big. Cool.

It's like, it's, it's plenty big enough for us. Nice. That sounds like a lot of qualifiers. I've got, we're getting chairs for everybody. The, I got to show you the artwork for that show. It's absolutely amazing. Pratsky, let me see if this is. So rate is.

I'm just gonna show you guys. I'm not gonna put it up on the, on the feed. Does this look like the old rat think art? No, no, no, no, no, no, this is different. Oh, oh, this one. This one, here's the, this is the show. Oh, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, this is different. Oh, just on a reason this one. Here's the We're getting some print all these show yeah post-season stuff fucking propratski's amazing. God, that is cool Very cool. I'll see you guys in Dallas. I'll see you you'll be there in your wife's nine months pregnant

Yeah, that's happening whoa Look, that's my magical bubble. They lie to you about this nine months. I don't want to give him the advice. Give him some advice. Play advice, okay? Just remember, there's only two things that matter. Behavior and genetics.

And whenever you have a question about what's right or wrong with raising your kid, just refer to, is this a good environment? Is this something that I can't help, but because it's genetic and don't try to force, it's forcing the issue. That's kind of similar to Larry's, you know, the track, you know, don't try and force the train on a track.

The track doesn't exist. Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting. Because you know, both guys get the same Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's interesting. You know, both guys get the same advice pretty much. Yeah, that's interesting. That's easy advice to give though. Anybody could read that pre-papy.

Bummer advice? Typical boomer advice. Typical boomer advice. Typical boomer advice, don't try. Just let them do whatever they want. And then blame every, but blame their genetics if you raised them properly. And then if somebody else did something, then blame that because it's it's both. And you just never know. Typical. Just don't take it out on the kid.

That's all. I'm sure I'm gonna say don't throw their toys into the street. I really dumbed this down a lot because I knew who my audience. Right. This respect. Constant disrespect. Yeah. Okay. This is a. This is back, constant disrespect. Yeah, yeah, that's a good one. Okay, this is an acoustic cover by, oh wait, no, no, no. Oh yeah, what is this? Is this a new, more VR shit?

I had to feel an old. Beat Saber, it's really cool. Have you played it? No, no, I'm afraid of setting up VR. Yeah, I don't know how to just disappear. Yeah, no more dick show. I'll be like Rip Van Winkle and I get VR set up. Yeah.

Find the wrong combination of VR and Borneo guys. Like what year is it? 90 years old. Sucked it. There was something, there's one other thing I want to play these dudes. They've'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, They had a they had a message for Maddox In my guys here's some dickheads in Poland There is one thing the cigar and a make it America great again hat

Knock off the Cuban super this one will be this one be strictly political, but I think it's a very Very big thing very big company what I want to say is that Maddox is a cop he's the biggest cop in the universe he's stuck in the universe look at us we are the opposite side of the planet we like don't really speak English very well. But we still know that you are a cock. That you must have caught you.

That you met that he slept with your ex from what? Three years ago. Oh my God. Mother, you lost You lost twice twice How many times and you will keep on losing and Yeah, I also would like to be in a shout out to the master So I think man, thanks another dick the dickheads and the dick show. That's cool. Alright.

Yeah. Damn. You may not know us, but back how much ago it was? Four years? Four or five years. Four or five years when the biggest problem in the universe started, we were one of these people that started to listen to the show, not because of Maddox, but because of you. We love your comedy.

We love your appearance on the Doctor of Field. When we were back still studying, we were watching this video of you telling that one man to be in front of line every day and he loved it. And we love you and the podcast. Alright, alright, I love you guys too. I love it. You love it. You love it. You love it. You love it.

You love it. You love it. You love it. You love it. You love it. You love it. You love it. You love it.

You love it. You love it. You love it. You love it. You love it. You love it. You love it. You love it.

You love it. You love it. You love it. You love it. You love saying traditionally with all the Polish jokes and stuff. There's a bogger. I've never heard of Polish jokes. I don't know what you're talking about. I love the Poland always have. Full of an industry as people.

Poland is trying to maga Europe. Make Europe great again. Yeah, yeah. Okay, this one is by... Poland is like boomers, by the way. This one's by Blackstone Jimmy. It's the Dixia acoustic theme. Here you go.

Then we got some Facebook news and a place of voice mail. Cool. Totally. I can't see, I, when he, he's got a cutaway. Oh, I's a nice one. Some of the Gibson's had designs like that. I was going to say the art, but. Brett Inlay? No, those are different. Those look like mom, do you have anything that makes you array?

No, it's got a cutaway. It's nothing old. Oh, yeah. Interesting. What did she say? She says nothing. Nothing makes you rage, really. She lives by that heart. A perfect existence.

Yeah, that's right when they start. That's when they start complaining. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's basically what your dad said. It's happening with our generation, right? They made it too good. Too good for us. We overshot.

Yeah. It was just overshot. It gave us too much. Okay, here's Facebook news. Dad, are you a fan of Facebook news? Do you listen to that? I saw your a page, I saw your a page for Yoni, by the way. Yeah. Only a dollar though. I know. You're missing the we're gonna shake me. You're missing. You're missing the bonus episode. Are you buying lunch today? I don't know. I'm buying lunch for all of the two journeys today.

You're missing the bonus episodes. That's not, you're not, you're not fucking with me. I'm trying to help you out over here. Look, look, I'm starring in my own life right now and it's doing great. I don't need to partake in yours to fulfill anything. I do like your show, but okay. You know what's sad is you know he's right.

Yeah, I know like 60s the new 40s. Yeah, all right. Look at how full of life is. Yeah, he's living life, he's retired. I mean, I've been retired so long I know how to do it. We're gonna be living in like fallout. Okay, here's Facebook. You guys Hello dick and hello dickheads. This is the Facebook group news for the last couple days

First off is Facebook group news superstar Clay early Clay might have post-op transgender on Tinder and although he was if he bought it at first He decided to give it a shot because at the very least inmate for a good story Clay says she was actually really cool and they hit it off very well. They hit it off so well that they went to a bar the next night and Clay took her back to his throne of harvested PBR boxes and they had sex. The sex was and I quote, slightly different, but not much at all to the degree that if you were drunk you likely wouldn't even notice the main difference is that she cannot get naturally wet dickheads were actively trying to gauge if click is gay or not but he insists that he is not gay next up is the only dickhead in the group older than Larry

class call in you have to call in his job by a feminist job a lynch mob this week the investors at jacks job hire hired a 26 year old pregnant woman who self describes herself as a bipolar feminist to run the entire shop. Two weeks later, bipolar feminist brings in two over quote, besties to help run the place. One bestie allegedly got the shit kicked out of her by her first husband 20 years ago in an experience that is described as a lifetime to get over. The other Bestie is just a bitch, according to Jack. They lambast to Jack for clicking his pen aggressively because it reminded one of the

besties of her former abusive husband. Jack told her to get your apology from him and not me and walked away. Later on, Jack was told he was being condescending by helping them with a software issue. Jack told her to fix it herself and then walked away again. Jack then gets a phone call later on that night telling him that his final check is in the mail and that this isn't a good fit. Dick had shower Jack with images of themselves drinking alcohol in order to show support for our beloved resident anti-communist jack

lastly we have Adam Cooper you may remember Adam from the time he got sucked off by a homeless man and called into the show I do remember that this time Adam found himself smoking crack in a hotel room with two girls and five men holy shit one of the girls got really horny and asked him to fuck her. This post claims he was too drunk and high to fuck so he fingered her. However, later on, Adam says he was actually roofied by a transgender woman. Adam says the group was pissed because he couldn't fuck her, but they still watch anyway. This woman was around 55 years old and her crack dealer black boyfriend gave him permission to fuck her if you wanted to

Well, I just raised her element. It has been the dick show Facebook you moved? Yes, completely. Okay, I take it back. Next dad, your generation was better. Yeah. Way to go Facebook group. Yeah, thanks.

Jesus. We had friends and shows like that and not whatever that was. Jack is a Portland. You mean him? Probably because he was going around click on his pen, really out and click his pen right in your face. That's what he does. Triggering everyone.

Yeah. Dick, that at my room records, you know, it makes me a rage when you have to wash a brand new hoodie. Got this awesome yellow black. I thought you were talking about the Dictionary hoodie. We have the most comfortable thing in the whole frickin' world. Yellow black hoodie.

And what does my fond of be? It's my fond of be. It's my fond of be. It's my fond of be. It's my fond of be. It's my fond of be. It's my fond of be. It's my fond of be. freaking world yellow black hoodie and what is my fun to do besides get catch up all over yeah now I have to wash my brand new hoodie forever ruining it of its brand new hoodie feeling yeah there's no reason there's no reason to wash it just throw it away I wash it immediately so I never get accustomed to that oh fresh feeling yeah yeah sick you ruin it yeah I don't want to take fresh feeling. Yeah, that's sick. You ruin it. Yeah, I don't want to take the pleasure of a new hoodie

and wear it from yourself just so you don't miss it. Yeah. Oh my God, that's terrible. I'm sorry, I just don't, I don't want to, it's like heroin, right? You don't want to do heroin. What are you doing over there? I'm always going to need the heroin.

Don't even try it once. What are you doing over there? Just stretching my leg. He's out of no. He's standing by a leg. He's out of no. Well, I thought you were going to the bathroom or something, but then you just stood there.

When you said this is over, you meant like not really over, right? Oh yeah, yeah, we go. Now we do the voicemails. That's the two-thirds mark. Oh, okay. I'll just do a couple. We gotta go do Father's Day shit right now. That'd be cool.

What is Father they say dick it's like you Tony You're talking about stuff in your underwear to make you dick look bigger. Yeah, I got a funny story about that It's not a story personally I used to hunt with who was a friend of my father's he was notorious for being kind of a lady's man Even though he was ugly shit It was a story of my father's he was notorious for being kind of a a lady's man uh... he was ugly shit uh... the story of him going to a dance floor and you can't go to the underwear

and he started grinding up on this lady she had all she's like oh you know the fucking horse here you know she's really getting into it really getting into a grind and up grinding up then the cucumber falls out of his pants on the floor. Yeah. Yeah. The dude's head just picked it up. Looked at her. It walked away.

Did it was a wrap in tinfoil? Oh, boy. That just funny. I really wanted. Well, I mean. I want to do it. Yeah. Yeah.

I want a whole jock strap. I want to make it a big event. Yeah. why not? I'm telling you, we've been letting them get away exactly with the Wonder Bra and the makeup and those fake shirts that makes your boobs look big. You know, you guys joke about the eggplant? I'm gonna put an actual eggplant down there every day.

So you would think about that. They got those false wiggly ones for trans people. No, not for getting out of drug tests. Like actual, like limp penises. Oh, I don't know. You can't hear about limp penises. Oh, yeah. Except your son's gonna use that against you.

I don't wanna know. What episode's going off the rail? What do they do? These strap, I don't wanna know. They just put it in their pants. And they're underpants. Oh, okay. Like Chas Bono, what up, man?

God, we need those. We need to go to a, where's the nearest trance store? No, I don't wanna, if it falls out, I still want it to be like a cucumber like I accidentally, I was like, oh, it's a good idea at the time, right? I just grabbed the cucumber off the, I see, I see. I want plausible deniability. I don't want it like, oh, I looked in an Amazon

and found the best one and got it delivered. It's probably a lot cheaper too. Yeah. The cucumber. Yeah. It's hard to claim spontaneity if you. Right. Order the best one.

I match my skin tone. I'll be a shamed. Don't be ashamed. Women aren't ashamed of their makeup. They put it on every, I'm just gonna have like a special drawer of this is my fancy penis. This is my going out penis. Here's my collection of summer penises You're expecting my origin window fake dogs of the new watch. Yeah This doesn't know a nice watch of them shoving it if I'm loudly talking about it with a near shot with my friends

Thingies flops around so you can see penis Penis of the month club. Like the watches, the fancy watches. Yeah, they need to be rotated. Yeah, you've got it right. Shake it a little bit to get it to re-charge. And you don't, you order it for your friends because who's gonna order a penis collection for themselves, something you get the man who has everything. Just pop this boy in, bam.

You're walking around with a huge moose knuckle. You could have penis of the month club. Yeah, I'm talking online. This could be a big, this could be a kickstarted invention. See, yeah, we're trying to cobble together an economy out of this shit. Actually, I just want to build a plan. Because you got destroyed hours.

Just all pants have a built in. You know, he's put his pants on. Oh, yes. Cause then you don't have, you're not the one who put it in. Exactly. It's just the brand of the pants. I don't know. They're fashionable.

Yeah. Let's talk, let's continue talking about this. You know, that's that is built in. That's the problem with millennials, you know, the we're not. We're not. Instead of starting to talk about us. I don't know. What are you know, we're not millennials. Instead of starting to fight each other. Are you talking to us? I don't know, what are you guys?

You're like, Gen X, pseudo, pseudo, Gen X, it's called Gen X. Yeah, I guess Gen X, we're defined by our incredible anger at our clearance. Yeah, it almost sounds like Gen X. Who fucking won't pay attention to what we say as you're demonstrating right now. And we're also smirkers for greed. We're floating back into that millennial vibe.

But anyway, start small with your idea. Don't all of a sudden expand to being a multi-billionaire, just because of some penis idea. I mean, if you're gonna make the penis, don't go to pants right away. Why? Wait to get the pants after you've actually formulated a penis approach.

But people need pants. Why not? But tell them like, that's now the most important part. I think the penis is the best part. Underwear. Why does she just get shoes? Okay, we got penis shoes. I mean, you know what, the whole line of heels.

You know where the penis would be in the pants, right? The penis balls would be in the front. But why'd I go shirts too? Oh, we'll have shirts to go in. Because that's not what your penis is. Yeah. This fucking classic book, this is why you guys have info commercials like you do for the stupidest shit like

spilling popcorn. There's a whole new branch of medicine. If you have a penis where your shirt goes, you're talking about it. You're talking about it. Patents on like round edges. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it.

You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it.

You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it.

You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it.'re on the same year. Then you need holsters. You need to have a penis holster. So they think, wow, you must have such a big penis. He needs a holster to put it in.

Where the fuck would I have a penis holster? Where would that be? Like a jock strap? Kind of, yeah, kind of like that. Like the one you wear exactly like a jock strap. FBI wears those holsters. Yeah, but they're on their way shoulders well now it's gonna go on the inside of their leg so that they look like they have a huge

penises so that they have to put them in a holster you know what you know what I realize I tried to watch the movie face-off last night and this whole comie shit is ruined it oh a whole time I'm sitting there thinking so who's voting for Hillary and texting each other like little girls about in this movie? It's about, you know, John Javoltas and the FBI. Totally, call me totally fucking ruined Facebook, Facebook. Yeah, can't have my things. I forgot to say, so why would you say that?

Call me and say, oh, you probably love Call me. Boomers love Call me. Yeah, they boomers stick together in a matter of. He's an entertainment. I mean, that whole thing is entertainment. That's great. He's six foot ten. You do like you do like him. And his gnome posing with the gnome. Oh, you mean the persona is a diff shit? Wait, are you kidding me? No, he's all right. All right. All right. Everyone. But he's been very entertaining. One more. You probably like his Twitter posts. He doesn't use Twitter.

Oh, Instagram. Everyone said it pre-tenses. In conditions that... Because when Twitter increased its character size, every boomer can't use it anymore because their phones are also fucking big. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha scrolling off. Yeah, damn it. Where's my jitterbug phone? So I can send it. You know what a jitterbug is? No. Oh wait, I'm going to open some presents.

I'm going to open some presents. It's a phone for exceptional individuals. This one is from... Exceptional, I mean with... This one's from Glass. Glass lung pipes. LLC sent a Mason jar Pipes worth four hundred million dollars. That's oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah look at this. It's a nozzles. A lawsuit joke

Oh look at this beautiful thing. It's a it's a bong. Yeah made out of a Mason jar. How fucking cool is that man? That's very cool. Whoa. Yeah, dad you get some cracks out of this nothing cool is that man. That's very cool. Whoa. Yeah. Dad, you get some cracks out of this. Nothing, uh, looks well made. It's very well made. Uh, they were selling them for dickles a while ago. That's awesome. Yeah. Oh, it's kind of like a hookah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a hookah, but I guess you could put your tobacco in there or whatever. Yeah. Or your concentrated. Well, no, wait. Yeah. Does that, are you supposed to fill that with water? Yeah. You are. Okay. So yeah, to theoretically cool the smoke. wait. Yeah. Does that, are you supposed to fill that with water? Yeah. You are okay, so yeah.

To theoretically cool the smoke. Yeah, yeah. Dead man's, dead man's tomb. It's about some kind of a toilet gul. Jesus. Whoa. Look at that, that's very frightening. This is from, hey Dick sending you a collection of shit.

Fuck, it doesn't say who it's from though. It's a guy crawling out of a, every man's worst nightmare. A guy crawling out of a toilet and telling you that your wife's pregnant. Oh man. That's what that book is about. No, I always like it. That's for the to read on the shitter.

Is it it? Yeah. That's a great idea. Let's see, this one's for John. John from Korea sent a collection of chopsticks from Piano Spoons. He sent, it is box of snacks. This box of amazing snacks that,

Jamelon Hughes was here. Yeah. And her and 80s girl ransacked this, like they were looting a convenience store after the apocalypse. Like these girls were tearing into every snack. Is that soju in there? Yeah, or no, it's, is it?

We got some, sockets, some fresh, I don't know, fresh water. Water. Is that water? Water the water, you know what I'm talking about? Oh, just one of the snacks. I just wanna, because Korea would, sockets, some fresh, I don't know, fresh water. Water. Is that water? Bottle the water, yeah. Oh, ton of cussed snails. Yeah, I've would be soju, right?

Oh, yeah, probably. Ton of cool, kind of ton of fucking snacks. Thanks for the snacks, buddy. A spoon from Vietnaum, man. Cool. Some sort of a, some sort of a DMZ, the wire fence for the,

demilitarized zone. They used to clip that, that's what the guys in Vietnam used to clip onto their, it's their cup, they're, yeah, they're cup. Oh, they put it onto their pack. All right, all right. And some pens, sorry, I opened these,

I needed to pen to write this. That's all right, that's cool. That's even better actually. Practical. Tested to make sure it's not a bomb. Um, cool. Cool. I got that.

Can you bring down, can you bring down that one that's wrapped? Yeah, you know which one I'm talking about. Can I try one of these? Yeah, go nuts. Sausage bacon chips. Nice. Really? Oh, you know, I think I've had something like this before.

A chip? Those are really good. Man, your voice is fucked. Mine? Yeah. Why? I hear... Oh. Oh, God.

Those things are baking it all. No, they do a little bit. Here's the last one I'm gonna read today. Thanks a lot guys. Thank you if you sent something in. Appreciate it a lot. This one is wrapped. This one is wrapped.

Let me see if I got the card here. The day. Here we go. Good. Oh, so. We're all just eating now. That's all right, to listen to. Hey, Dick, I'm sure this one would be as funny now

as it would have been two months ago. What can you enjoy your new unbridled cleanliness? It's from Adam Smith. It's a bidet that you can install anywhere. I posted about this. That's awesome. And everybody says it'll change your life. What? Yeah, everybody. I don't know why.

I don't know why we don't have them. I've been in houses where people have them. But yeah. Well, I'm going to put it in. I thought it I thought it was a joke. And I was posting as a joke. But people very serious seriously say that's going to change your life. What was the verdict on the Squatty Potty? I did not. It felt very weird. I don't need that help you. No, I didn't feel like I don't need that- That didn't help you. No, I didn't feel like I was evacuating any additional stool or poop and it was weird to have in there.

All right, let's go eat. Bye everybody, see you next Tuesday, thank you. I'll see you in, see you in Dallas. Thank you.