The Dick Show - Episode 109 - Dick on Road Rage: Dallas

Episode Date: July 3, 2018

Road Rage: Dallas ends in a shooting, Peach calls in about the Mustard Chug-off, I have a solution for the Supreme Court, an erotic story about shoes, uncucked racism, small Tupperware, Madcucks' retirement and the final bonus episode of the Biggest Solution in the Universe, the microphone interlock device by Soyboy Industries, exploding honey mead, more countersuit backtracking, bar stools, fat asses, Pride-vertising, the Forth of July, and Road Rage: Atlanta; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Yeah Welcome to deck you need to go on to get love dick you got it in the show where everything is a contest. Coming to you from a mountain bunker deep in the heart of the city. A failure, I'm your host, Dick Masterson. AKA the $20 million man. The $20 million man, joining me is always his show on the audio engineer. Hello, Dick. Hey, what's up buddy?

God, it feels good to be back in the studio. It does. At a somewhat normal time. Yeah, it does. It feels so fucking odd to do this show anywhere, but right here in this very uncomfortable, like $10 chair. You know, the chair that I got at.

I think my ass and spine are molded in this position now. So I used to think it was uncomfortable and now I just seems normal for two and a half, three hours. It really does. It really does. Yeah. It really does. When people bust my balls over, if ever I'm supposed to picture the studio, people immediately bust my balls over the chair, like get some comfortable chairs and I think, yeah, I

don't know how I could do the show in a comfortable chair. Well, you'd probably want to lean back too much and, you know, fuck around, fuck around. Fuck around with the, the angle of some of them, but just like three ways. I don't like comfort. Yeah. That like three ways. I don't like comfort. Yeah. That's my thing. I don't like comfort. I don't want this to be a comfortable show.

Yeah, keep your mind comfortable. Keep your mind comfortable. And everybody's uncomfortable. Right. The way you like it. Yeah. You look for a guy. You see a guy doing something.

And if he's got a comfortable chair, he's not fucking up. Yeah. Yeah. You look at the Supreme Court. You see those, they might as well be on Chase lounges up there. Fucking all the meat. The, the, the fucking the media. No, I mean, the, the mean age is like 109 on the Supreme Court. That's so stupid. Yeah. I mean, they're, they're, it was Ginsburg like mid 80s, right? How's that for a fuck up? Not retiring when you're guys in office?

Yeah, right? Yeah, what are you, you so, you, you wanna be as a preem court so bad for like, what, you're going next? Yeah, oh, I think, no, I think she's staying on because she's so fundamentally opposed to this administration that her vote matters. Yeah, but why didn't no, I think she's staying on because she's so fundamentally opposed to this administration that her vote Matters. Yeah, but why didn't she retire when it was when it was good for their party? When it like when I know so that the

Palma somebody could be appointed. This is how like this is how stupid these Geniuses running the country are right. Yeah. We all know what's going on It's all politics all the time. It's retire when you're guys in. So we can get a young, yeah, somebody who's gonna, right. Yeah, so they can clone you and just get like an artificially intelligent

version of you in your spot for the end of fucking time. You idiot. What are you, what's wrong with you? What's a man, and you gotta convince them of that? Like, hey, moron, come into my, get off your comfy ass sofa, come into my office and I can explain to you how time works. You're going to die really fucking soon. I think, I think... Don't fuck us.

You know what? I don't think that necessarily enters. I don't think, I think some of the ego comes into it then and being placated and being catered to. I think, I think in some, sometimes these people who achieve these really high positions kind of feel like they're invincible. They're just fucking right. I'm always gonna be here. I'm a goddamn institution.

I'm a Supreme Court justice. When I'm gone, who cares? I guess. I don't even wanna talk about the Supreme Court. Yeah. How did that happen? Comfortable chairs. Right.

They have the most comfortable chairs in the world, so you don't trust them. Cause they're there to sit on that chair forever. That's what, if you gave the Supreme Courts chairs that we use on the Dixho, they'd retire immediately. I can't say, that's what Trump's got to do. Just executive order, throw out their chairs, replace them with chairs from the Dixho studio,

which are the least comfortable chairs in the world. Save money and keep career Supreme Court justices. Yeah, off of the bench. Let's see how you motherfuckers really like running the country. If you have to sit your bony fucking asses on Dixho chairs all day, retired, retired, retired, retired, you're gonna have to convince them to stay there. I don't think it matters for Sotomayor.

She's got a big fat ass. Latina, we're gonna end up with nine Latina judges. Over time, the only ones. We're gonna have to pick Supreme Court justices with only the fattest of asses. It's gonna be Diamond Silk, so to my ore. Yeah. And my half of my family reunion.

Scalia was pretty fat. Scalia had a big fat. Yeah, he could have held on a while. That's what it's gonna be. Trump's gonna come up or whoever's out, he's gonna come, it's gonna be a billboard of the size of the justices ass. Look at the size of this guy's ass.

He's gonna be there forever, overturning abortion, or making abortions mandatory. Whatever side of the aisle you're on, it's gonna be an ass contest. Sean, everything goes back to ass. Yeah, and contest. Yes, and contest. So everything's an ass contest.

It's just why are we going through this stupid dog and pony show with the confirmations listening to a bunch of other fat asses and comfortable fat ass and skinny ass chairs, expensive skinny ass chairs, blow-veating, and going on in a boring way. None of them are funny. None of those confirmations are funny,

except for people with no senses of humor. Except for, that's it. Well, the hearings, I'm old enough to remember the Clarence Thomas hearings, when they were, they had a need of Hill, I think, was the person he allegedly, you know, that was where we learned the term sexual harassment. Because that's how it was, that's how it was,

I was just, isn't the fucking world harassed? We know what? We know what? So, I remember them talking about a pubic hair and a coke can. That's what I remember. It was on the mouth of a coke can or something. This was very important. Very important that we're talking about is pubic hair.

Oh yeah, but I'm the idiot. Who thinks that it should be ass-based, but we're talking about cum stains and pubic hairs on soda cans on the on the on C-SPAN, but I'm stupid for thinking it should be an ass contest. Yeah, well, you know, you're ahead of your time. Thank you. Yeah, because you got to worry about obesity too. People are going to say, well, that's a big ass Trump, but that motherfucker could have

a heart attack at any moment. True. You got to reign. You got to reel that ass in. Right, right, right. You gotta, You gotta reign that ass in. You can't get too big up in that ass.

It's a balance point. Balance point. Uh-huh, between a heart, heart disease. Yeah. And who can survive comfort? Gauntlet of the, you know what, Sean, we're just gonna give him bar stools. Oh, okay.

Supreme courts not even gonna get, not even gonna get these uncomfortable chairs. Good, they're gonna have to sit on a bar stool. That's about this wide. So it's always making your asshole fall asleep. Oh, it's always, and you always think you're stretching it out. Those motherfuckers won't last 10 minutes. Let alone a lifetime.

Fuck their chairs. That's what's making me arrange this week. The Supreme Court's comfortable ass chairs. Get rid of them. Yeah. Bar stools where your legs have to dangle. You don't even, I'm not even gonna give you that bar, that foot bar that you could hook your heel in.

I'll cut your circulation off right across your hamstrings, that fucking sucks. And that almost never happens to me because I got long legs. But if you, yeah, if you're sitting on a bar, if you're sitting on a bar stool with no bar rail or no fuck, yeah, fuck, it's so uncomfortable. Good luck.

Good luck, good luck looking smart while your feet are dangling. Yeah. And we're gonna remove like a five year old. Like a five year old. No, no hooks. Yeah. Cause we want to be, we want to be gender equal. You know, what, what are the hooks have to do with gender?

Well, because the women are shorter. Oh, so they're not going to reach? Yeah, so they're not going to reach. We're going to hook their men, those hooks. Yeah. They're going to be seven feet tall. They're going to need a boost to get in like a Victorian bicycle. We're going to throw these fat fucks.

Yeah. So got weird right now. Better a system than what we have. It's much better. I guess. Yeah. It's much better. I guess, yeah. It's much better than talking about come stains on Monica Lewinsky's dress and pubic hairs on soda cans.

Yeah. It's much more dignified. Shuggling fats of. Shuggling faddle Latina women. It couldn't get any less dignified. Oh God. Such a farce. Everything's a farce.

You know what I hope. I don't want to talk about politics. I'd rather talk about road rage, but what I really hope Trump does is just like say, yeah, here's my Supreme Court justice, and actually I'm making 100 more Supreme courts. Oh, 100 more justices. Well, I mean, this is what FDR threatened to do

to get the new deal. Yeah. Why not? Sure. He was going to add 10, right? He was going to add a 10. 15. Oh, was it, that was what we're going to do?

Back the court, it was some kind of weird system where. Oh, okay. I thought it was just going to, yeah. Maybe. Yeah, and I don't know. I think it was 15. Yeah, well maybe, but it was like, he had some bullshit reason, but it's like history is written.

It's like, no, so he could run the new deal through. And he just, he just, he just for a point people people and tell he said, yeah, you can totally do this. Call the threat. Yeah. We all know, we all understand. That's no better than my, my fatso juggling, my fatso circus. That would be the Supreme Court. What a fuck them.

They never take the guncases anyway. Fuck those assholes. All right, everybody. Dallas was, Dallas was incredible. It was really fun. It was really fun. Diego said it was his favorite. My two favorites are Chicago and Dallas. incredible. It was really fun. It was really fun. Diego said it was his favorite. My two favorites are Chicago and Dallas.

Yeah. Barnett was great. Yeah. They're right there, neck and neck. It was so great. It was great seeing everybody. Ethan Cantrell did an incredible job as an opener. That guy was funny as fuck.

Did you see him show up in that little Maddox costume with the high patch? Yeah, I did. Very funny guy. Takes a lot of balls to go out in front of that crowd. Well, he brought it. You know, he wasn't like I do. He wasn't timid. Yeah, he did bring it.

Great tunes. He's got cutting the cable. I want to thank him, Ethan Cantrell. Cutting the cable, he's got an album and he's got the dick extension. He's another album of his that you can get on Bandcamp. We met Safe State Corrupted. Yeah, yeah, which is cool.

It was cool. He gave me a secret USB thumb drive too. Oh yeah, what's on it? Can't tell. No, I don't know. I haven't checked it out yet. I just remembered. Really?

He came up to me and really, really cool. Like one of those like, Yeah, you're slipping money. Like I don't know this, I don't know if this is a threat or a bonus. Like if I open this up, I don't know what's gonna be on it. Oh man, really? You really don't know?

Yeah, I really don't know. I haven't looked at it yet. Let's see. Asterios was doing Adam Panache, which was, I think that's the hardest I've ever laughed at one of his show bids. Is that right? I think so.

He was driving me nuts coming down the stairs. Driving me fucking insane. He was doing the slowest old man dance of all time coming down the stairs. I mean, you want to talk about, you know, I mean, comedians in the spotlight and, you know, it was perfect. Oh, no, no, no, it was it was amazing. It was amazing But it made me anxious. Yeah, like it was like

Fucking stage Sometimes you're like the squid word of the show Sometimes yeah, are this bunch Bob and the pat and the Patrick. Yes Yeah, this Bunch Bob and the Pat and the Patrick. Yes, yes. Like if you go to, if you go to patreon.com slash the dig show, you could see the video. I hope to have it up early this week. Hopefully Wednesday or Thursday, but it depends

on the video guys and they all know this. So I hope they move their fucking ass if they're listening to this because it's great. It's great. The show's fucking great. But I announce a stereo and I spend all this time building him up like to try to give him the chance to get down so the show can go like at a clip, you know, I don't like, I don't, I like to keep things lively, right?

When everybody's shit face, especially, yeah, you gotta keep, you know, attention. And when I'm done announcing him, when I'm done doing my enormously long intro, those even longer than this, Azaria comes out of the green room, which is at the top of the flatest stairs and starts crawling down at the speed of the space shuttle. Like so weird shuffle, like a, like a retarded version of the robot or something.

Like it was. Oh, funny. It got funny, like halfway through, and then it got funny at the end. Yeah. I swear to God, that guy, that guy live is one of the funniest people I have ever seen his live because he's so crazy.

Yeah. And he totally runs the show. Oh, yeah. I keep when he's really a performer. Like he's. Life it no doubt. He's just incredible. Yeah. Um, I don't know what you do with that. I hope that his, his garage tour, which by the way, the garage tour is taking place. But I garage tours is this, is this more than one place now? Sean,

how could it possibly not this the first stop of a stereosis comedy garage tour is starting in Atlanta. What do we say August 3rd? So is that right before our show? And then we're doing a road rage the next day in Atlanta on the fourth at a place. I think it's called the masquerade. Wow. How about that? It's just like that happening quick.

Well, a stereos was doing his thing and Ryan, who initially got him to do it. Ryan, whose idea it was to fly Asterios in and have him do stand up in his garage. I wanted to go and then thought, well, we got all these people who want to go see Asterios. Why don't we, why don't we turn it into a thing? Why don't we have a show the next day? Because we always have a huge road rage shit show on Friday. Yeah. Before. So let's do the comedy show. Let's get all the people there. And while they're there, let's just make a whole weekend out of this thing. It's

making as big as possible for God's sake. Somebody wants to come do a road rage. You come to a road rage. You come to a stereo show too. It's an experience. It's a weekend. It really is a weekend, they become weekends. And they're all a blur between all the awesome people we made and all the catastrophically bad decisions. There's always bad decisions. Yeah, too much fun. Sometimes too much fun.

Too much fun, we went to the, anyway. So Stereo's comes down and does his Adam Panache bit, which is the funniest thing I've seen him do. Whipping people off the stage. Oh, God, that was funny. He gives out the lost episode drive, which I haven't seen anybody post the biggest problem lost episode number four.

Well, they're probably, they're savoring it, I think. They're savoring it. Yeah. Maybe someone's finally gonna fuck us and not release one. I know, I doubt it. I doubt it. Maybe something happened to him. Maybe he got lost in the goss on his way home. He's got a permanently lost in the desert now.

Yeah. Mad Cucks retired. Yeah, that was a shock. I don't know what the fuck was going on. All I know is there was a, he said something like that and then it got serious and then there was lots of screaming between like between like three different parties. Kimball and Mad Cux and Stereo. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of angry yelling. There was some there was a little there was a little Italy and the world wars going on. I mean,

one of them flipped pretty quick. You know, he was on one side and then he was on the other. Yeah, I was weird. I'm there. I'm sad to see Madcooks go. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's really great. Yeah, really enjoy him. He's a really hilarious guy. Oh, yeah. Him the way he, the way he writes stuff on the fly in his head is, I know, I've always, because it's hard enough to be funny as yourself, but then you're being funny and like live satire. I know. I know. That's very difficult to do. And he's done a lot for the show and for me in starting the show. So I hope he had a good time with it.

And I hope he had a good send off. We recorded a biggest solutions episode. Yeah, we did. Mad Cucks and I that we're going to release soon. There's a chance that it was ruined by coach and my man who were making commentary on the side. We had that somewhere that's still worse than. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, I thought they were reading Twitter, I guess, during, and they were just commenting to their wives, but they were not off screen. But we'll see, I had a lot of fun doing it. It was a nice cap, too. Yeah. Where Madcucks, Madcucks, I think, closed both series out. Yeah.

The problems we did in the last one and the solutions we did in one last one. He ended the show with what is, I think, the final solution, you know, pun intended, obviously. I wish I had made the joke at the time, but it's, I think it's a good episode. It's funny. It's not gonna be our bonus episode for this month.

So if you think Coach ruined it, and if you think Coach in my man room, we don't want any. We're doing another bonus episode like normal. That was just something fun that I wanted to do, because we were all in the same room and it's rare that we get to be in the same room. Oh, and Peach won the mustard thing.

No, we're good deal. Let's move on. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, let's see here. I got some stuff from the show. Oh my God. And somebody got shot at the venue right after the show.

Right after, and there were like 14 people in there to watch some fucking DJ show. And 14 people, somebody's got to shoot somebody. We, after the show, we went to a bar. I think coach and hysteriaos both got kicked out. I heard this. And then when we went to go look for them, we went to leave at the end.

There was 20 police cars and caution tape all around the venue that we had just left. Apparently, apparently, the venue made some kind of last minute decision to squeeze and act in after us. Yeah, which is fucking bullshit. I hate it when they do that. You know, yeah, they asked Diego. Apparently they told him it was like a favor and it was a personal friend of the guys.

Yeah, well, I can no good deal goes unpunished, motherfucker. Yeah, no, oh, I wonder what this is. Hello? Hey. I was too much thought I was, okay. Hey, Peach, oh, I wonder if this is. Hello? Hey. I was too much thought I was, okay. Hey Peach, what do you want? What do you want? Hey, I wanted to see how you were doing.

How are you? How are you feeling? How are you feeling? I still feel like I'm gonna throw up. Really? Yeah. Wait a minute. I can't hear you over the sound of your butt being hurt.

What was that? No, no, no. I still feel like I'm going to throw up. It's going to try to drink the mustard with you, just putting it up to my mouth and feeling the taste for the first time is like, it's like my first beast thing. I'll never forget that feeling. I already felt like I was going to puke all day, All day, every single, it felt breathing made me wanna throw up, I was so hungover.

The day of the show. The day of the show. And I had forgotten about the mustard drinking contest and when the guy, oh you are so full of shit. Cause I asked you, I said, hey, how are you feeling beforehand? You were like, oh, oh, I feel great.

Oh, I can take you anytime. Or you, you are so full. Yeah, he's that's, you get a selfie in sour. Or. You are so full. You're just fancy. You get a selfie in sour. It's your word, maybe a teaspoon of mustard. I down to that entire, what was that, a pint? I don't even think I swallowed anything to be honest. I think it was like a pint.

Yeah, you, let me, okay, let me rephrase this. If I was at my best, I couldn't have beaten you in that contest. I'm disgusted. I'm disgusted by what you drink. Yeah, and like you did it so easily. Let's watch it. I haven't.

You made it look easy. There was no glugging. It was just like pouring down like a cube. I mean, well, she had an unfair advantage, I would think. Yeah, what is it that you said right before we did the contest, Peach? I had an advantage. I spoke with a doctor and I asked him. Yeah, what would you, what is it that you said right before we did the contest, Peach? I Had an advantage. I spoke with a doctor and I asked him I said, Hey, I'm entering this stupid contest. First of all, is this amount of sodium to kill me?

Secondly, or hurt me in some way and secondly, like, do you have any advice? And I got a little advice on how not to like throw up. Oh, we were talking about sucking dick. Yeah, you were talking about you were talking about I was trying to oh I psyched you out. I psyched you out. First of all, the doctor told me to drink like a little bit of heavy cream beforehand and like maybe a tiny keep a bread. Oh, I hurt my stomach. And then I just thought I would psych you out by being like, Hey, well, whoever wins, like a drink and coma goes to like gross you out by being like, hey, well, whoever wins, I guess, you know, really good at crink and comb, I guess, but to like gross you out. And I guess maybe that was only to gross me out.

I wasn't. You didn't believe that. Do what? Nothing, nothing. I'm going to play it right now. I got it. I got to crank this. I should go. I got this. I got this video. Yeah. All right. Okay.

Yeah, right there. Oh, yeah, that's the first taste of it. Have you seen the pictures that people took of this? They're very, they're very unflattering. Yeah, no, it's not. We neither one of us look very cute. That's for sure. I just, at this point, I was just holding it up to my mouth so you wouldn't think I had quit and keep drinking.

Well, you picked up the bucket and made a huge dry heave. I thought it was coming out. I thought so too. I'll be perfectly honest. I actually was so focused on just getting it down as quickly as I could and as much as I could, but I didn't even know you stopped until Madcuck said he'd done. Yeah. You already won.

And then I'll work fuck it. If I'm going to win, I'm going to finish because I want done. Yeah. You already won. And then I'll be fuck it. If I'm gonna win, I'm gonna finish. Cause I won't have to screen you. Oh God, you did you finished. Oh, it's revolting, watching it again. I gotta watch it one more time though. I'm full of hair. Can you see it, Sean?

Yeah, I can see it. Here it comes. Here it comes, the first try, heave. Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, ch Yeah, oh God it was like getting punched in the throat It wasn't that bad. It's just in and out. It was disgusting. The water burger mustard. That was absolutely disgusting It's a file that you drank The whole reason we made this bet was because you and I were hanging out and I had like some ham And I was like, hey, I'm gonna have some mustard and you had shitty brown mustard And we started bragging about who could eat more mustard and you were like some ham and I was like, hey, I'm gonna have some mustard and you had shitty brown mustard. And we started bragging about who could eat more mustard.

And you were like, oh, oh, I can drink a whole thing. Well, I'm like, okay, let's do it then, I dare you. Uh-huh. And here you are acting like, oh, oh, the first taste of the world. Be sure to order one. What do you want? What do you want? Double win?

We all remember what happened. I just want to blow. I just want to blow. Road rage Atlanta horse radish sheet and contest. All right. Oh, okay, I don't know if it's on purpose, road rage at lanta horse radish sheet and contest uh... i don't know if it's on purpose but road rage at lana is on my birthday oh well it was definitely not done on purpose i was not done on purpose i make

it a point not to remember anybody's birthday because i want to be able to i want to be able to tell them that i don't remember when the birthday is sort of have to get them a president yeah that's not uh... That I don't remember when the birthday is so I don't have to get them a present. Yeah, that's not Well, you know, you do you do owe me a beautiful song about how great I am now. Yeah, I remember how So I don't know are you gonna present it to me at the show? Oh, I actually I actually already wrote it here it is now That's my one note song no, all right. Beautiful. I love it. I remember the

bed. Okay. You're fucking song. Cool. All right. Your Greenburger song was terrific that you sang at the show. Yes. Oh, thank you. Thank you. I'll try to record it as soon as I can. And if you want, you can, I can put up on the reddit or I would eat it for the show. If you want. It was fantastic. Cool. Really incredible. Thank you so much. And you're, you're your outfits get the better every show yeah they do show we got I'm not able to have a 10th one of these I forgot she sang Oh my God

I try to look for the stupid cartoonish most Christmas dress though well you, I'm like, I'm sorry. I had a blast. Thank you so much. Congratulations on your mustard win. Even at my best, I couldn't have come close to drinking that last word you're a champion. I love you, and I'm really proud of you for doing your best. Good job.

Oh, God. I have to answer two. Yeah. All right, get out of here. Say, thank you. All right, see you. I'm playing your vibe. See you.

Bye. Oh, boy. All right, well, there it is Say, thank you. All right, see you guys later, bye. See you, bye. Oh, boy. All right, well there it is, folks. It's the mustard challenge. You know what I loved about Dallas? I heard while we were there. What's that? A radio ad about guns. You heard a radio?

A really? Yeah. I don't think I listened to any radio. Guy talking about, we got hundreds of guns. 500 guns under $100. Come on down. It was like a full-on car. Like, tell Worthington. Call Worthington to import about guns. Yeah. That was down. It was like a full on cards like tell worthing to cow

worthing to inward but about guns. Yeah. That was great. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see here. Oh, but I was saying the, did I already talk about the club getting shot up? Oh, a little nasty. Yeah. Yes, Diego. If they could squeeze somebody in after us. Yeah. Yeah. And this is, this was my favorite part of the trip. This is my favorite story from the trip. Jamie Lynn Hughes apparently had her purse up in the green room. Yeah. And the the act that was going on after us was some hip hop DJ. Yeah. So the second we were gone, the room was full of the green room was full of people, the entourage for the hip hop DJ. Yeah, sure.

It was about, there was probably 30 or 40 people in there, right? So she- Way more than on the floor. Yeah, way more than on the floor. So she goes up there, taught like, you know, typical tossing her head around, and who are y'all supposed to be thinking that it's ours, but it's not.

Her purse was in there or something. So, 80s girl runs and gets coach who pulls up his big boy pants and struts in. Like he's gonna offer, like he's gonna defend, like he's got some, you know, purpose to be in there. And nobody knew this. Well, so he steps in and immediately his ass falls out because he sees, oh, actually I need an adult.

Oh, I need to go, I need to go get some other people. I don't know if it was a great story, but it was funny to be imagining that guy strutting up there and going, oh, like an Indiana Jones movie. Like he goes, this like these two little curls, go and get one guy to handle the green room of a hip hop DJ that they've already started an altercation with.

Yeah. By charging in going, and who the fuck are y'all supposed to be in this room? Yeah. And he's stamps in like the big man on campus, only to see like Indiana Jones style. Oh, okay, we got gotta get out of here. Just get your stuff. I gotta find somebody in switch clothes with them so I can get out of here.

And then if somebody gets shot, that's why I thought it was so funny. Cause it's like, yeah, you don't wanna start beefs in this situation, cause something might happen, you know? And like, you're just being an idiot. Don't be like, well, 20 minutes later, somebody got killed. Yeah. So, yeah, yeah. Put that one in your pipe and smoke it. Okay. We were coming back to the, because, you know, we parked

at the, at the club, you know, a rental and walk it back with Diego and a couple of, probably like three or four other people. And yeah, there's. And there's the audio engineer. Here's the engineer standing next to the cop car, talking to a cop and he sees us and he's like, oh, you guys should have just stayed here and podcasted all night. That was like the audio engineer circle. Yeah, yeah.

The guys are always getting the straight dope from each other. Yeah, I just recognized it. Oh man, I said, man, I would have worked out better for you. Oh, wait a minute. I got to ask Pete. He said, oh, no, then he goes, ah, it happens. I was forgot that part. So yeah, it happens, happens.

How many times does this happen? I got to ask Pete one more thing. She sent me a weird text after the show. And this is Peach. Hey, Peach, I gotta ask you one more thing. What did you mean when you said I have to ask my man about the way he wipes his ass and that it was weird? What?

Oh, yeah. So I was still like half asleep and he comes in. He's like, everyone's making fun of the way I work my ass. I'm like, what, what, what, what, what do you mean? Can I go, someone walked in on him and caught him in the act of wiping his ass in a strange way? And I said, well, how are you wiping your ass? And dragging it around on the floor.

Like a dog, like a bull. No, he didn't say, he's like, well, like this. So he sat down like he was pretending to take a shit, right? He spread his legs. And then he reached in between his legs like between his legs and then dragged his like hand from his top of his ass crack yeah yeah down toward his like balls oh like in between his legs I think as opposed to the I think people do that I think you don't go to the side yeah but like and then we're like you might side yeah i can do that

you can be a little bit of a spade no it's too gross okay all right i thought it was going to be much weirder than that no but the way he'd i can't describe it he's gonna hunched over and like dragged and also you can't wait back to fun well you can't guy can

neither should he what if he got shit all over his balls i mean that's like sitting on the toilet and and being and sitting in p.a.s. all right all right another one of these this is another one of the beach the woman drinks mustard the woman drinks mustard like it's water at the end of a foot that she's run a marathon but guys and their penises touching balls the porcelain, that's too much. Well, she won't take a bath either. You just, you just, you just close your eyes and think of England, you know, that's, that's

all there is to it. Okay. Goodbye, Pete. Thank you. That was been buggy. Bye bye. I don't know what that means. I also got to thank the breaking, uh, breaking brew metery.

They made a $20 million a, a, a, mead. Yeah, they made a $20 million a mead. Yeah, they made a bomb. What? Yeah, yeah. I don't know if it was the heat or what? They brought this amazing case of custom $20 million mead.

It was like raspberry mead. Mead is a honeywax. Honey is honey in raspberry. And it's got this. It's great label. It's cool label. The breaking brew meter. The guy was the guy was fantastic, but the bottles, I don't know if it was the heat or what, but poor Sean is sitting in the first victim.

Yeah. Yeah. Sitting in the bar after the show, watching in slow motion, I saw you doing it, watching this mead bottle, watching the cork creep out of the mead bottle. Yeah, break, turtle head out, crack the seal. Yep. And it just kept going. And then it just kept going. And I thought, I better put my fucking thumb on this thing. I thought, you know what? It's going to come out. I don't want it to pop. And then just start overflowing.

So I thought, okay, well, I'll kind of put my thumb on it at kind of the last set. I'll do a controlled burn, so to speak. Well, that, I'll put it on at the last second. Well, no one I've never bothered. I had it, no, I had it, but just, you know, loosely. Yeah, yeah.

Just kind of let it, you know, so I'll maintain the cork. And hopefully it won't, you know, I didn't know how fucking carbonated it was. Well, it shot all over the fucking place like a rain bird sprinkler. More than any champagne I've ever popped and people turn around. All I hear is dick laughing and then people screaming because it's about to shoot, I mean, it probably got a few people, but I immediately grabbed it, turned it over and dumped it out by my feet under the bench.

It was the only thing to do. The only thing to do. Screaming Sean Spring Beard everyone. Look, everybody's Sean Spring Beard all over everybody. And then luckily, about 30 seconds after that, somebody broke a mug. So the attention was diverted. Somebody dropped a full, a

full beer mug and shattered all over. Well, three other ones exploded that night too. No. Yeah. So I felt bad enough just seeing yours because there was only 20 of those. No, and one, and then one back and then one back at the, at the Airbnb. No, I mean, yeah, I wasn't there for that, but it was there for that. I had a bottle, and I had it in my bag, or maybe it was Jamie's bottle. I had it in the bag that I laid on the counter and coach, unfortunately, sat right in front of it.

It's still with its stupidest thing, like even when you were, even when it was happening to you, I could see it, something going wrong. Like I saw the top cracks, I'm like, ah, I should get around to that, but maybe it'll work itself out. You did, maybe. Coach sat down, he happened to be sitting right in front

of the bag and there was this huge pop. Right while we were talking about the guy getting shot. So everybody's like, oh, uh oh, what was, we were talking about the guy getting shot. Everybody's like, uh, uh, what was, we're all in the war zone all of a sudden. And the bottle explodes and sprays coach in the back. That's right. You got a shirt with red stains all over it. Yeah. He had a white shirt with a kelp with a California flag on the front. A white shirt, I don't know, that he wore two Dallas.

I don't know if he brought any clothes to be honest. The court blasted it off and then hosed him down with a honey meat. It's like, no, not on my, you know, my only concern was keeping the meat as much of it as possible, but he really got doused with it. Yeah, well, yeah.

I don't know why that happened, but it happened to a number of them. I don't know either. Okay, I got this. Jesus Christ. If you had your bottle of mead blow up, post to the Reddit or Facebook group. Be careful, tie it down,

and try immediately strapped mine down. Oh, did it make it? Yes, mine made it. I got some saran wrap and tie it down. Stry immediately strapped mine down. Oh, did it make it? I, yes, mine made it. I got some saran wrap and wrapped it down and then put it in a zip lock. Yes, and put some tape, cargo ties. It mine is like a, mine is like the Get Smart door now. Mm.

I've got some Russian dolls on it. Got it. Yeah. Uh, put it in a cooler and then all that is in a sub-zero fridge. Thanks everybody for coming. Yeah, that was a blast. It was a blast. The next one is in Atlanta. At following hysteriosis. Because we're just trying to get hotter. We're trying to go for hot to hotter. Then we're going to go to Ecuador. Yeah. And then we're going to go to hell. Yeah, then we're going to go to hell. We're going to go to hell as we go to the other Yeah. And then we're gonna go to hell. Yeah, then we're gonna go to hell.

We're gonna go to hell as we go to the other side of the world where summer will start again. Yeah. We're just gonna do an endless tour of endless summer. Absolutely. God, I couldn't I couldn't take that heat, man. Brutal. Nothing could like I said at the show, nothing could convince me to do to do a day of labor. Not to the humidity that makes it so bad. I wouldn't run from a bear in that fucking heat. The getting in the car, while in that heat, where someone else is in charge of turning the car on and starting the air conditioners

because it was possible, made me murderous. Every single fucking time, no matter who it was, if this card doesn't fucking start, I'm going to kill you and take your keys. Don't buckle your seatbelt. Do not plug in your fucking phone. Do not do anything until you... I don't do anything.

No, you get in there and immediately turn the key or push the button, whatever. Start it right now. Yeah. Start it right now. Yeah. Start it right now. Air full blast. Then you do what you gotta do. Yeah, that was rough. We had a loud AC unit too.

They really, in the airbnb. In the airbnb. Yeah, in the airbnb. Yeah. All night, these airbnb's, they really hug the line. They really strad hug the line.

They really straddle the line of how poorly we will treat each other. Yeah. Yeah. Like there's no, you'll show up with no towels and there will be a ketchup packet of shampoo of body wash. And that's it. Right. Right. Right. Right. And that's it. Right, right. That's it.

Like, can you guys, would you live here? What do you go around? Do you think that we travel like with Sherpas, with loaded up, with fucking towels to use in your precious house? It's essentially a hotel. It should be, you know, it's not offering. It's not a little bit. Yeah.

You're not having to pay tax. You want to keep fucking around and this whole thing's not a little bit. Yeah. You're not having to pay tax. You want to keep fucking around and this whole thing's going to get regulated. Yeah. Because people are getting pissed. Every fucking time we go in, it's worse than like, you know, I never thought I would get worst hospitality

than showering at a friend's house. You shower at a friend's house. That's the worst hospitality you will ever get in your life. They will give you, they will give you a hand towel about this big to dry your entire body. It's like plain strains and automobiles after John Candy uses like 19 towels and Steve Martin's left with like the eight inch by eight inch washcloth. Uh-huh. You can never, you, if they've got any, every guest bathroom in the world should just be burned the fuck down because they're all totally

unusable. They've, They're all drying up. The none of them are stocked. They're handing you dish soap to washers. Here you go. Here's some lavender scented dial that you use. Oh, you got any soap? Now there's some soap in there. It's what people used to wash their hands after they take a piss or something.

Just take it into the shower with you. I would use it. I would never use it, but you go ahead. You do that. Squeeze all those little soap remnants together. That's become like shavings. If you mush like 12 of them together, you'll get something that will sort of lather up. That I would love because every Airbnb we've gone to has had a starter kit of how to fuck

people over who are every single one has the same exact sandpaper towels and the same coconut-scented, dove body wash. Are you fucking, we're all gonna smell the fucking same it. Thank you, just get an unscented one for God's sake. Yeah, yeah. Every single time. With these Airbnb's, driving me nuts. Let's see, what also makes me erase fireworks police

Fireworks police, you're trying to get fireworks. I love fireworks. Yeah, who doesn't who doesn't love fireworks? Yeah, it's a time of fireworks It is we get one month a year Pride month just ended We've got to sit through Sit through we've got to sit through. Sit through. We've got to sit through a month of of Verizon telling us how important it is and implying that we're all bigots. Like implying that you're a bigot if you're not on Verizon or if you're any, yet they still they still have service in countries where it's illegal to be gay. Well, sure.

No problems with that though. Oh yeah, you guys are, so you still have service in Abu Dhabi? Because when I was there, I was using Verizon. Well, I mean, and they're not a pride. If it costs us $1, that's where our morals end. Pride month, it's time our morals end. So. Probably months, it's time for America month, man. It's time for America month.

Let's get those fucking fireworks gone. But it's here, it is like, it is totally verboten. Fireworks. There's all these, all these, every day, I see another post from somebody about how dangerous they are, how they've got it, how it's frightening everyone's fucking animals.

Well, fuck your animals. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The reason not to do them in certain areas is obviously fires because Southern California catches on fire like the entire area. We just had three big ones just this past year. Yeah, were they fireworks related? Well, no, they were one was a one

they don't know how it started. One was a homeless guy. And then the other was yeah, got cooking fire. Yeah. He was sauteing some, you know, some, some halibut. So these homeless, they should do. They should sous vide. Yeah. That's what's that's going to be my new charity. sous vide for the homeless. So they stop. Yeah. Starting all these vide. Yeah, that's what's, that's gonna be my new charity. So, vide for the homeless, so they stop, start starting all these fires. The temperature doesn't get hot enough to light anything on fire. They just need a nice little,

they could use a nice little basin, throw their sous vide thermometer in there, cook up some beans, no big deal. F**king fireworks. All over town, no fireworks, no fire, permanent placards in there, shitting all over America with town. No fireworks. No fire permanent placards in there. Shitting all over America with their with their lack of enthusiasm. Yeah.

For us. Meanwhile, firemen across the street lighting off mortars. No big deal. Yeah. Yeah. They have fun. Uh, there you go. That's what makes me rage this week. That in the Supreme Court thing. Yeah. Comfortable chairs for the Supreme Court. Comfortable chairs for the Supreme Court. Slacker asses. Um, not not remembering to pack underwear also. comfortable chairs for the Supreme Court. It's comfortable chairs for the Supreme Court. Slacker asses. Not remembering to pack underwear also. Oh, you didn't have any? No, I totally forgot to pack underwear for road rage, those are.

Texas, Texas, Texas liquor laws. This guy submitted it in the rage bucket. Yeah, there's a lot of weird stuff in the South and nothing on Sundays, you know. Yeah. Road debris, rocks breaking your new car windshield. What a fuck you from, what a fuck you from God that one is. Family that won't shut the fuck up about anything.

Yeah, that's rough, man. Hot people working shitty jobs. Is a rage. Yeah, what are these hot people doing working shitty jobs? Yeah. I don't know. They should just be, what do you mean,

hot people working shitty jobs? Give those people working shitty jobs some hot people to interact with, to talk to. Right? Well, how could that make you a rage? Cause there's slackers or something like that? Well, but it goes to your thing, like it'll probably make the other employees,

you know, act their best and maybe get the most out of themselves and maybe move up, get out of that shitty job. And you can interact with this hot person. They don't know they're hot. If they're working a shitty job, they definitely don't know they're hot. No, they don't know that they're out of your league. Go after it.

Asterios not suing the hell out of Maddox. Oh boy, did we talk about that enough last week? So I know, so it's it. Yelling across the house, God damn, that's a good one. Yeah. People who brag about never having had a Big Mac before. Just make a meat it. Give them a, if somebody ever brags about not having a Big Mac to you,

pick them up a kale smoothie and stick a Big Mac in it. Yeah. Oh, guess what? You just drink a Big Mac to you, pick them up a kale smoothie and stick a big Mac in it. Yeah. Oh, guess what? You just drink a big Mac. Yeah. You just ate a big Mac, bitch. And you like kale smoothies way more than you thought. Yeah.

And follow them around for their rest of their life. Hey, guess what? This person has eaten a big Mac. Yeah. And I did it to them. Yeah. Okay. The fucking Grand Canyon by Andy.

Oh, I got to thank Tigger, Tigger's body art for the tattoos they did. The guy who had the the Beavis and Buchon. Yeah. Dick Vist and Buchon tattoo. That's what I was. Yeah. Yeah. Dick Vist and Buchon. Yeah. That was awesome. They did that when they did the other. I think it was Fred who got the the show logo. Yeah. That was cool. That was cool. That was very fucking cool. Yeah. It looked great. It did. It was really. That was very fucking cool. It looked great. It did. It was really, it was so low. It looks fucking great.

It was super sharp. And Clay early, not Clay early. Andy Lee's art, the Dic Viz and Butch on, looked really cool too. It did. Ah, okay. Let's do, let me play a song. Yeah.

This is Do It For Spite, by my room records. Here you go. I'm gonna get myself in order. Good. You got an erotic story. Mm, it's a good one. Hey bud, don't beat yourself up. I know that it's tough and you're down on your luck, but believe me, the shekels will come. Be thankful you have such a great Patreon.

And now, is modern and now, setting up where rest of dead accomplishes everything. Take all these mad bugs and burn up right on I seem to remember a Greek at one time Said till it forced by a good time It's really well produced I just think I said this sounds damn good Good job, I'm gonna be goosebumps I like three four times too

It works, you know, you do I do, it times too It worked you know it's you do I do it's a It works People think it's always waltz is but I mean like it's you can use it for rock It adds a A death shot this is giving me fucking goosebumps this song talking about That is the measure for new songs on the show now. It gives us goosebumps. You gotta raise your hand.

I got the bumps. I got the bumps. We gotta talk about the counters of soup on this episode of engine. Hopefully not, make everybody want to kill themselves. It may seem impossible, but before has that ever stopped. I guess most people would count this 6A, but you're letting errors. You letting him in. Remember a break at least time There's still a force to fight You've got to carry some loamy Walk somebody to hold it So that I've blasted our media

Right, a stereo's broken I know the right now You've done it that much time Stimpy, it's good And steeper than all your But their role will show you that Yeah. Yeah. All right, there we go.

There we go. Thank you. Thank you, my room records. Do it for spite. Thanks very much, buddy. Open it for Portland. This was something that the merch girl, did you see this? I did see that. Something that the merch girl felt the need to write this in Dallas. Guys, she posted this in front of the merch booth.

Guys, stop approaching me to make small talk and try to get a reaction out of me with your MA manga hats and edgy offensive comments. You put offensive in quotes just to stick it to everybody. Oh, those are like triple parentheses. I don't care smiley face by something or leave heart. I mean this well, this is has antagonism written all over. I don't know. I know what being antagonized feels like. We've got offensive in quotes. I don't care. And a smiley face. And then a heart at the end, that's one, two, three strikes. You've antagonized me. Yeah. If you were trying to less, if you were trying to

deescalate the situation, there's no, it would have looked very different. Those things would have been gone. Yes. Yes. But they can't, people can't help themselves. They have to be aggressive when they're, yeah. Always with the sweetie shit, the honey shit, the heart shit, every single fucking time. When they finally win, and men are completely emasculated, and we're all entirely soy, we subsist on soy, and we have no one works out anymore

when gyms themselves are illegals Women are gonna start having to answer for this shit. Hmm. This is gonna be this type of antagonism I don't know what to call it. All right. Let's get to this erotic story The dick show presents The Dick Show presents Ebrotic Stories from Real Men. Okay, all right. You see if I can read this guy's name. Yeah, the Yellow Mouth.

Yellow Mouth, yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck. Oh, here we go. Hey, Dick, I was recently relisting to all the podcast episodes and the fake Mad Duck story and it pissed me off so much. I hope this helps return some of the sanctity of erotic storytelling. I was a young man of 18 a senior in high school.

All through high school I loved the IT computer science. This does not attract the beautiful broads. No it doesn't. However there was one. I had my eyes on her since the first day of junior year. She's a blonde, C-tits, but the ass on this girl is something that only high school guys dreamed of. So the end of the year was coming around, and we got paired together to work on a web design project together. Divine intervention gave me a sign that I finally had my chance. You remember that in school?

Yeah, how excited you were to get paired? With the hot girl or a hot girl? Yeah. I remember, for the seventh grade graduation, I got sat next to the hot girl. Yeah. A child, by the way. And I was, you were a child.

Yeah, and I was so, it's like, oh yeah, this is gonna be fucking great. Just sit there and pretend, of course not talk to her. Because that's, you don't wanna look like you're interested ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sit there and watch this. You got better things to do.

We should, they should do that now. Yeah. We need like a, we need something that puts people, I guess works like that. You're hired. There's a hot girl on your team. Oh, I'm gonna email this bitch. So good. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. Oh, yes. There'll be about work, but it'll be funny. Oh, I'm gonna throw in my little sassy gems in there. Yep. Yep. Yep.

Then we could go on a conference together. Right. Right. Right. Both get a little drunk. Mm-hmm. Take my pants off. go to her room at night and profess my love to her. Take your pants off first. Yeah, first. Just, you know. And take the elevator up to your room, you know, leaving the bar panceless. She came over and sat down next to me. I couldn't think of anything to say,

but her shoes stood out like a sore thumb. How about that? Black sneakers with cool silver zippers on the side. So the nervous voice crack stutter, I said, hey, I like your shoes. Those zippers are sweet. Yeah, okay. So why she's wearing those zippers, man?

So to get you to hear that. I mean, you ever wore zippers on your shoes? No. There you go. I know. Why would you? It was a style thing. It was a conscious choice.

If I was walking around with a big zipper on my forehead, don't you think I would want you to comment on it? Yeah, it's like, hey, zipper head. Nice, nice face. I like your shoes that she thanked me for the complement with an awkward glance. We ended up acting, we ended up acing the project and I ended up impressing her with my computer skills so much that we ended updating over the summer.

Really? Yeah, she was blown out by those computer skills. Damn, I mean, you know. What's it going to take for women to appreciate the computer skills? Really, really and truly, you know? I don't know. You work with wood, you work on a car, I think that women are impressed. I don't know if you fucking repair

of my sequel database, nothing. Yeah, well, it's not considered manly. Yeah, for what you gotta do to change that. You gotta make it physical somehow. No, you just have to make a lot of money. Oh, then it's like, yeah, that's, you gotta figure that out. Every week we went to the drive-in theater

and would get really hot and heavy making out in the back of a Cherokee. But we never went past second base. So grabbing boobs. At the drive-in, how long have you had this letter? This was given to me by a man. Man, yeah. Been hanging onto it for 87 years.

Yeah. So you got to read this on the show, on 09 today, or something terrible. It's got an array 87 years. Yeah, you got to read this on the show. Yeah, no nine today or something terrible It's got an array in storm. Yeah, actually said I had to read it on episode When do we get sued Then 50 episodes ago is under McMaster send I have something for you. Yeah

Things were really getting hot and clothes started disappearing in the primal urges of the youth. I was so horny, I couldn't feel my brain. We had smoked a bunch of sticky, shawnt shrubbery shortly before. Before you know it, an 18 year old virgin boy became a man. I was a solid six and a half. Uh, okay, thank God you're 18. I was solid six and a half inches deep in the squirrel.

And she kept moaning deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper. All caps. About 20 minutes in. That, every time that wouldn't bug me as 18, but if they kept going deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, they're like, okay, deeper, deeper. What am I? Am I playing with your ass and telling you to do Pilates? No. Let's get some, let's get some, let's get some questions like, I mean, maybe I'm out of rope here. All right. I can't go any fucking deeper I don't know maybe you know, maybe he's overestimating or maybe she's a total whore or How they just they just say that

About 20 minutes in I heard a door open upstairs and Feet coming down the stairs quickly. So did she Between heavy breathing. She kept telling me not to stop. Oh, man. Yeah. I promptly put my hand over her mouth and that made her so horny that she was squirming and wouldn't stop poor guys on a, it's like you with the mead.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the door opens her poor little sister saw my fat, ass dick, deep in between her spread legs and screamed at the top of her lungs. As a busted, as a busted, as I busted such a fat

virgin nut into her that she could have been impregnated thrice. You're gonna have to, I I think you're gonna have to, I can, you're gonna have to, this is the scene. This is losing his virginity. Yeah. You're gonna have to buy the sister's silence or something.

Thank God she was on birth control. Oh yeah, her sister runs, and I hear her talking to her dead. I scrambled to put my clothes. I scrambled to put on my clothes, but I cannot find my shoes. So I put on her cool zipper shoes from high school. How big is his chick's feet?

Wait a minute, I got a, I got a, this is another joke. She's gonna end off walking into the woods and then he takes a blurry picture of her. This is all a big Sasquatch show. This is the tell right here. Yeah. She put on her cool zipper shoes from high school. Then I remembered my weed was still in there. Wait, wait, he put on her zipper shoes?

Yeah, yeah. Then I remembered, maybe he has a little tiny feed. Well, that's what I'm saying. I just, that's follow up questions. And I remembered my weed was still in here and I had to hide it. I opened the zipper on the shoes. Yeah. But to my shock, the zipper leads to it. I opened the zipper on the shoes. Yeah.

But to my shock, the zipper leads to nothing. There was no pocket in the shoes. Yeah. So he's thinking practically, yeah, women are like pockets. They're terrified of them. There were shoes called ruse when we were kids. They had little pouches.

Oh yeah. I never had them, but I remember the commercial. Did you ever have the pump? There were a lot of pump. No, I never did. Oh yeah. I had the converse with the react juice. What was that? It was just fucking green water in your shoes. Probably you react faster. Just supposed to fucking make you jump higher, whatever. It was Larry,

who was the basketball player for the Hornets? He did those grandma mall commercials. I don't know. I remember where he dressed up like an old lady and like slammed the ball all the time? Tyler Perry? Yes, Tyler Perry. Those are the only shoes I never had to pump. I had the tennis pump. Yeah, I remember those. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh. There was no pocket in the shoes. Her dad came down and started beating my ass like his life depended on it. Oh, shit. In the end, I became great friends with her dad and we hang out and share a bottle of vodka once a month.

Oh, all right. I hope you enjoyed the story. Dick and Sean keep up the great work. Damn. Guys, the yellow mouth, yuck yuck, a Vida ho. Go fuck yourself. Good ending. I guess I'm not how much this makes me mad.

I'll work out a couple of stories from real men. Good for you, buddy. Thanks for that. Thanks for that. I'm gonna buy the dick show. Let's see here. I got some comments. Hey, Dick, Mechanicom, the tree killer here,

I wanted to follow up on that guy who was worried about his Fismosis last episode. He should listen to DigiBro and Mumpke's podcast episode five where DigiBro talks about having Fimosis and his girlfriend loved it. Also, I have Fimosis and my ex girlfriend loved it. Must be about that. More calm and then people think.

Yeah, fimosas is great. And a blessing from the omniscience, chopping off foreskin for any reason is pretty much the equivalent to chopping off one's soul. Death to the trees, long live the mighty foreskin. Mechanists come the tree killer. Oh, so yes, I'm not kidding about foreskin. It's genuinely, genuinely great. Man, sounds yes, I'm not kidding about foreskin.

It's genuinely great, man. Sounds all good. That is a tough topic. Yeah, man, it'd been nice to make that choice. I looked up that penis stuff you were talking about. Yeah, is there anything to it? It is either, it's either no, or there's other health hazards too.

Like you're more at risk for STDs and other stuff without a foreskin, and the penis cancer, the study was more about gross shit in your penis than just having it. Like it's because you couldn't grow up. I wasn't sure, that's what I had heard. Let's see here. Yeah, here we go.

This one's from Frankie foreskin. Hey, Dick, for the love of God, if it gets on the show, don't read my name, but I thought you might like to know more about Femosis. It's not too much, it's not too much. It's that the Forskin is so tight to retract, it's supposed to be very elastic and stretchy. However, if I, however, it can lose this elasticity, if not retracted, for a certain amount of time. It also happens pretty frequently in children, if parents don't tell their kids to pull back their foreskins, all right. I know this because I'm a medical student

who happened to have Fimosas in the past. The guy emailed, the guy that emailed in last week might not know that surgery isn't the only option either. If he talks to his doctor, he could get some steroid cream on it, which would allow the foreskin to loosen with stretching over time. Oh, but who wants to rub cream on their dick every day? Only every man and world. Yeah, same guys, does it. You can get some kind of a cream. Well, that's good, it's not a one solution.

Not a circumcision solution. I had to have that talk with coach, because he's having a kid, he's having a little boy. I wanted to know what... Well, he's a guy who will research the shit out of that kind of stuff, I would think. Yeah, and he still came to the conclusion of I don't know what to do.

Yeah, I told him, I told him I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't walk in there and say, chat, see what you can do about this extra force can I get going on. So how the fuck could you do it to a kid? Man, yeah. I don't know. Okay, here.

What should we do? Let's talk to, all right, Antoyze, you there, buddy. Yes, I am. What's going on, man? I got him. I got him. I got him. I got him. I got him. I got him. I got him. I got him. How are you doing, man? I'm sorry we missed you last week. Oh, it's no big deal. It wasn't the right time. Well, we've reached, I think it was the right time. I think if we would have gotten you in sooner, I would have been a lot happier.

We've reached the end. We've reached the end of the biggest problems on Cucked Episodes. And yeah, you know, it's been pretty crazy. It's really changed the way that I see Maddox and I think it's done that for a lot of people. Yeah, I think that's definitely true. I think we're all kind of sick of them, right? I think, I think, well, I've seen people saying that maybe we talk about them

a little too much, but you know, now we're at the end of the uncuck, so. Well, I think of the ones you brought in last time, I think, and even the ones you brought in this time, there was that stupid Trump debate and then there was a stupid debate about my book, but my favorite one, I think the one that everyone reacted to was the racism cut. Yeah, that one is, it really puts you in his head in an interesting way, I think. Yeah, okay. You want to play that one? For sure.

I'll play the uncooked one first. How about that? Yeah, absolutely. I could go talk to the person. We could try to work out like why they're feeling this way and like, you know, try to have a kumbaya moment and say we should come together and not be mad, but ultimately you like, that's not my job. I would like to add something here. I always thought- That was a black myself is as being, well obviously not. It's obviously not.

Yes, go. Let's hear it. I don't have time for all the positive adjectives here. It's only an hour and a half show. But I always thought of myself as not as someone who wasn't racist and had no prejudices, et cetera, et cetera. Here's what I recommend for people, because I noticed something strange about myself. The first time I went to Newices, et cetera, et cetera. Here's what I recommend for people, because I noticed something strange about myself.

The first time I went to New Orleans, New Orleans, I went to the French Quarter, and there were some areas I went to that were predominantly black. I walked into some strip clubs and restaurants where almost everyone in the entire place was black, and I felt something strange that I had never felt before. Was this all right? That was strip clubs and restaurants?

Yeah, that was those of the two places that you base the demographics on. Okay, here we go. It was a sense of being surrounded. And I don't know what, I don't know what that is or where it came from. I know, I know. I know.

I know. I know. I take you to the storage cart. I know how it sounds and I know how it feels. But then, but then, that's when I had this moment of realization that, oh my God, this is what black people must be like all the time. If they walk, at least at some point, before they're there. No, no.

Okay. Well, I mean, we are. So, when maybe when I was a kid, it would be like, I never grew up around strictly black people. It was always a diverse group Like my me and my friends look like a Benetan ad It was just What is this? Is that like a black hair? It's old clothes old clothes. Yeah, so Dindal. Thank you. That was a fascinating problem. Thank you for bringing that in

That was already a weird cut. Yeah, it probably was. I'm sure I did it for some reason. Okay, well, here's the cucked version. I mean, that was a little weird, right? Yeah, that was a weird transition. I was surrounded by saying I was surrounded. I felt surrounded by black people. This must be what they feel like all the time.

Denzel saying no, that's not, and all of us having a weird reaction to the binks for sure. Okay, Antoids. So here's what you found is the cucked version of that with that turned into. This is what aired. Okay, here we go. But ultimately you like, that's not my job.

So Denzel, thank you. That was a fascinating time. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh Christ. That's how it is that's me time. Oh, God. Oh, Christ. That's how it is, that's me time. Every time it's just, he took something that was like,

I'm in a conversation. That was like a real, like he actually, yeah, oh, he actually got a little, almost got a little human there. Got a little human there. And the most is, it's, he's opened up and showed a tiny bit of, a realness of him and

God, he can't suffer that to get out. He does that in 77, too. Like, some moment where he talked about his family or something and it wasn't embarrassing or anything. It was just normal conversation that a human would have with another human and he cut it. He's a that a human would have with another human, and he cut it. Oh, he's a f- All those jokes! You get an orange card for too much of a racist comment, the hair thing?

There's a weird statement, but come on, man. Come on. That was just, that's just fucking sad. Beyond the pale. Well, it's just sad. Antoids, thanks a lot, buddy. We're doing all these audio unediting. I'm glad you got a break now.

Yeah, I need to use it. I texted my girlfriend a day and I was telling her, like, oh, I'm gonna, I have to record it this time. She's like, okay, I don't fall asleep. I think I'm just fucking busted my phone. What does she think about this, about your dedication to finding all these flubs? You know, she only really listened to that.

She's not a listener of the show really. Probably for the past woman. I think I think there's maybe something about the kind of jokes you tell that turns her off. Oh, like what? Two spices. Yeah. I wonder, but yeah, you know, she, uh, she, she, she did think that that first one

that Yacca was pretty funny. So yeah, that was a good one. Well, for, I guess for maybe the last time, at least for a while, until I've released the bonus episodes, if ever. What makes you a rage, buddy? Shit, I wasn't ready for a rage. Oh, OK, that's fine. We can just cut that.

Okay. I'll hold on to it. And I'll think, I'm not much of a rageful guy compared to some of the other guests that come on, I think. That's okay. I think they have more of a real rage to them. They've all of us have anger management problems. I think that's what you, I think that's what you're saying.

Oh, no, of course not. Of course not. All right, buddy. I have something I want to plug. Go ahead. That's all right. Go ahead. Um, uh, uh, rage first.

Oh, then dessert. No, no, no, no, go ahead. So on YouTube, if you search digital routes, my SEO is very good. I'm like the first result for that. Okay. If you search digital routes, I do like a video game analysis video.

I want to try to use the time I was putting into the uncuts to do that from now on. Okay. Something I wanted to do for a while, and it's like, I kind of talk about how certain mechanics teach players things in a certain way. So like, without using tutorials and just invading your experience, like the developers will passively teach you how to play the game. Wait a minute by accident. I have like seen. Is that like Anthony Burgess? Like has he wrote a clockwork orange? And he basically teaches you this language that comes from Russian thugs basically, like Russian street gangs.

Drogues. Yeah, mixed with some other stuff. He basically teaches you how to speak a language as the book goes on because it gets more and more in depth and you're like, yeah, I totally know what those words mean. You're reading these things that are basically nonsensical if you were just to open to that page. Are you saying a clockwork barge is like basically muzzy?

What's muzzy? You don't remember muzi, the children are speaking, guess that's French, they're speaking, and know these children aren't French, they're American. Oh, I do. Learning language series, muzzi, where you watch this fat, fuzzy, fuck teach you French. I don't know.

Positively, because it walks you through learning the language and like a visual story. No, no, you just, but it's not, it's not conscious. Yeah, that's what there, I think that's what muzzi was all about. So you're picking it up like you would in real life slowly as it's part of a narrative that so you are emotionally learn the words and stick with you and you're not just regurgitating vocabulary. Yeah, because it's totally fucking worthless. Yeah, that is something sort of like it. So I'll give a really quick example. I'm not going to say too long on it. You guys know

a Metroid, right? The game where you play as a broad. Yeah. Yeah. So when you do the little. I thought she was trans. I thought she was a guy. Well, um, so in 2018, no, she started as a guy. I don't know. I sort of, I thought this was true. The Metroid girl was that the guy said she was a guy making a joke at her height, or something like in the very beginning, in the very beginning, in the first manual, it says she's a guy. And then they changed it. So it was in the first period.

Sorry, trans, trans. In the first game of the manual, they use a male pronoun. I think that's just for the twist of it. I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't comment on trans shit. But anyway, like the quick example was, when you curl up into a ball, when you do your little bomb,

it kind of launches you in the air a little bit. And you can use that to reach weird places. So the game does this thing where when you break blocks in that form, you have to be right up against the wall, and there's nowhere for you to back up to. So just in the process of breaking walls walls you find out that that little bomb moves you around and there's no tutorial for that or anything so i don't know that you have to really do it like you already know uh... just from having played normally have you been

doing this for a long time this type of video i uh... gave it a shot a while back, but you know, I kind of ran for free time to get it. You're describing, I saw this guy doing a very general video about it. What he's saying is video games that teach you the mechanics of the game as you play them,

not in some stupid tutorial, tutorial, where you're lectured to like a fucking child that you can't skip. Where are you used to read a bunch of pages of shit? You play, it's the worst goddamn experience when you get a brand new system or a brand new game on Christmas morning. You're there with your brother-in-law that you don't get to dick around with as much anymore who's slowly becoming a corporate man.

You can feel your tethers. Just like you can with every male friend in your life, you just slowly feel the tethers breaking and snapping until you get together anymore, and it's shorter and shorter. Like life dies every fucking day. It's not all at once. It's every, these relationships slowly separate,

and other ones come together. But you need that moment that Christmas that Christmas evening moment will never change When you finally get the fucking kids to bed and you can put in call of war Clinton FEMA Chelsea Clinton addition or black ops or whatever the whatever the game is that is load up a gun and Shoot other people. people, right? That's the game and we all know the game and every single fucking time it makes before it gives you this Stupid cutscene that you have to watch because it's cool because you paid for it for two hours and you're finally all right

Ready to go ready to go I took me half a glass of whiskey to get through that the kids have been sleeping for 20 minutes I know I probably got 40 more minutes out of them but just let me play the fucking game Let me play it together because if one of us has to leave and go fuck around with the kids The other guys just playing a goddamn video game and that's never gonna be as fun as talking to chicks on your cell phone Hmm, right never gonna be as fun as fucking around on Reddit on your cell phone Just be in the fucking game. It'll say all right Now you know now you need to go see a

Tactical officer Ted in the gunnery, and he'll show you how to shoot a gun. Oh no. Just. You have to take a three credit course. You have to take a fucking class and get certified in a game that you paid for to play the fucking game. Yeah.

Instead of just giving you like, they used to do where they would just start you. Start. Make sure everyone's playing responsibly. It's a fucking experience. instead of just giving you like, all the like that they used to do where they would just start you, start. Like like, make sure everyone's playing responsibly. It's a fucking experience. If you don't, don't tell me, show me, make me do it, right? And it drives until I saw one video. I saw one video about this like five years ago that a guy did about doing it with Mega Man,

like the same thing that you're talking about Antoids, with Mega Man, X or something, and Mega Man. Yeah, I know the video you're talking about. You know the video I'm talking about, and his stuck with me for years, years after I watched it. I probably think about it every week, like when I get annoyed at why I hate a game or something, or a movie, I'm like, oh, it's because they're telling me,

and they're not making me do it. It is ruined, it is ruined every game and made me not excited to play any of them. And the number of it. Well, I mean, you know, when I watched one of the video games, that, you know, that's what they, you just started. Mm-hmm.

You just started. So I look forward to your videos, I guess, what I'm saying, because I absolutely hate that they do that. Well, I'm glad that, because I know that you don't play a huge amount of videos on a planet, something you can be excited about too. Yeah, cool, keep us updated.

Yeah, man, I'll be back if you release the bonus episodes or anything like that. Maybe I will, all right, buddy, get out of here. Go fuck yourself, take it easy. It's good rage that he brought in. Yeah. A video game tutorials. I think we'll drive you absolutely insane.

All right, let me play another song, and then I gotta talk about it this counter-suit because everybody had an extreme reaction to it. A lot of reasons. And I'll tell you, after that last episode went up, like I felt bad for days. I felt sick about it. And I could not stop thinking about what really was getting

under my, like what made me so uncomfortable about the call and the whole thing in general. Yeah. Like the whole go fund me. I'll be honest, the entire thing makes me feel uneasy. Yeah. Yeah. We'll talk about that after this song. The entire thing makes me feel uneasy. Yeah, yeah. We'll talk about it after the song.

And then I gotta play some clips from Monday and Matt that stupid asshole is spreading lies and implies about me people are saying. Monday and Matt. Yeah, he was on drunken peasants and he's talking shit. You wanna hear that first or these serious stuff first? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

What's the, I mean, which is more depressing to less depressing or I don't think it's gonna be depressing. Okay. Look, I'm not bringing you in in a depressing way. Yeah, okay. That was fucked up last week. That was the problem with it. This is from Safe State Corrupted.

It's called, I love you. Well, let's do the, let's do the going to Greenland one. And stay safe, stay corrupted. Just going to Greenland. Here you go. Speaking of depressing. I flow round with that watcher A couple scripts are bruises Couldn't stop me And now I'm older

At least to me and really feel alive Time is faster You say it must keep flying mine Now I need excuses I will avoid that I'll let This is great. It's better than anything Rivers Cuomo was written lately from Weezer of it. Yeah Because it's got these I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty, I'm going to win to Grinley, I've got my tickets now. This is more than I've done with Stan, I need it, and he's in here. Pretty fucking leesery chorus.

Yeah. I'm gonna knock it when you stop. Yeah. I'm gonna kill him. Yeah. With me, the great way next just tries it out. Let's just try it out. Yeah. Oh,

what? All right, all right, all right. Oh, Jesus Christ. Save the Oh All right, all right all right. Oh, Jesus Christ Save state corrupt and the most serious thumb drive and road ride Dallas Road rage Dallas Yeah, that fucking a stereo's call yeah, really bummed everybody out. I wasn't I was not prepared I was not prepared for any of that.

Right. It was a very big bummer. I love his theoryos. Yeah. I love his theoryos. I want to support him in anything he does. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

But I got to ask you this. I'll just ask you, Sean. Okay. From that call, did that sound like someone who's ready for a six-month multi-thousands of $50,000 legal blood bath? Because from that call, he just seemed to be in a very emotional state. Yeah, like in a bad way, in a bad place. I think that call was a lot of two very different ways of thinking coming together and not a good way. A very emotional way and a asshole way. Okay. There was a lot of, there was a lot of comments about that

episode about me being too hard on a stereos. Even no, wrote, no, wrote a, from Kiwi Farm. Yes, yes. Wrote a, a critical, very critical comment, I would say that I was pretending to be daddy war bucks throwing money, which was funny. Daddy war bucks threatening to fund this counter suit and stuff like that and then I was trying to walk it back. And it's hard to know in life if you're the asshole or if you're trying to help. You know what I mean? Some people are gonna, yeah.

This is the thing. Some people don't like the way people help. So you know what I mean? There's that too, where it's, you never know. Yeah. If you're the jealous boyfriend, or if your girlfriend's cheating on you, that's a stupid example.

Okay. But until you fuck up, you don't know, right? Like, it could be somewhere in the middle, it could be both. Yeah. You, there's, it can't be with, so I will say this, it is not about, it is not only about money.

Right. It is not only about money, money obviously plays a factor. It's not only about money. Mm-hmm. Getting sued is one thing. It's easy to defend yourself when you are innocent. Right. You know what I mean?

It's fun. It's wonderful. It's fantastic. It's fantastic. It's easy to defend yourself when you are innocent. Right. You know what I mean? It's fun. It's wonderful. It's fantastic. It's gratifying. It's what justice is. Pursuing, pursuing the suit is going to be very different because eventually in the suit, you are going to be attacked. Yeah, of course.

All the things, all the questions I was asking are going to be asked by the professionals who are trying to make you look like shit. They're trying to make you look like the bad guys. Yes. Of course. They're trying to do anything and everything to get their guy off. Yeah. Which in this case is going to be very, very desperate man.

Yeah. And when those, like part of this whole counter-suit thing seems to be clearing names and getting justice and all this stuff, but I'm telling you, the questions that I'm asking are going to look like nothing. Nothing, come in the law, when the other party gets their chance in court. And they all do.

Like that's what we learned from this, what we learned from going through this is that a bunch of maybe's and suggestions don't work when you have to give that document to a judge and say, here you go. This is why you need to find in my favor. Maddox did it and he looked like a fucking idiot. Right.

Because you look at the paper and you're like, well, these are just a bunch of, like, where's the proof? This is dumb as shit. This is dumb as shit, and now everyone's going to gang rape you. And in this case, you've got Maddox in the counter suit, and you've got mental jazz.

They absolutely both deserve. They absolutely both deserve it. They are both fucking included they absolutely both deserve it. They are both fucking included in my mind. Absolutely. Abs of fucking Luther, it's not Maddox, it's Maddox and fucking mental Jess, I don't care that they're broken up because they both fucking did it. That's right, they both did it.

Absolutely both did it. They signed their names on the dotted line there for the first one. And when they come back, it's going to get very, very ugly. Yeah. And all of this is going to be on esterios. Like everybody, this isn't going to be esterios

and I getting sued. This is all going to be on him. Yeah. So everything, I don't know how else is, everything's how else is everything's gotta be airtight. Everything's gotta be airtight. Everything they can imagine, every possible way to twist it around

is going to be brought up. And all that anybody will have to rely on is what's on the paper. Like I am as emotional as everybody else about this because I want, because it hurts that a stereo has got fucked over. Oh yeah, so badly. Oh yeah, I understand wanting to pursue this immediately,

but I've got, I just got to think that the sanctions are important and maybe taking a moment to consider what is going into this has some merit, more merit. Maybe I came off like an asshole last week, but I wasn't expecting it. I wasn't expecting the sanctions to be, I wasn't expecting the sanctions, I wasn't expecting to be such a downer. I thought it would be, hey, let's see what we got here. And I think we got to, I think we got to a point where I thought it'd be easier to prove than it is. And I had to take a step back and say,

like, well, wait a minute, what actually goes into this and what is the defense, what is the defense going to look like to this? Yeah, yeah. Because if it looks devastating, I'm not going to suffer for it at all. Yeah, sure. It's not going to hurt me. Right. You know, none of this, none of this has. Right. And right now,

a stereosis people that love, love him and love his content. And I'm one of them. And that's, that's all you need for a life in comedy. They'll love him forever because of this. It's very emotional. The whole, the journey was very emotional and he's a hilarious guy. Oh yeah.

He's got the ability to create tons of content and I don't wanna see, I don't want to see someone get sucked into a more devastating spot than the first one was because the, because you're asking for your asking for a response. Like as excited as excited as we all are and I am about launching this counter suit, they get a fucking response. Like that is, they get a defense. Yeah. And the defense is going to be, is this making sense at all?

No, it makes sense. Yeah, it makes sense. Well, I mean, I think you've gotta do things in the proper order. Sanctions first, you explore that. Yeah. I mean, you're trying, what, sanctions, if he wins sanctions, he gets money back

without money back. Without really putting in any more money, effectively. And then it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but you can't, I don't think you can necessarily rush to decide anything. Yeah. That's the, you know, my two cents, but it's. And there's a lot of great advice

that came out of that call also, which I hope will help us, Therios, because I love everything he does. I love the contributions of the show. Yeah. Um, I do want the best for him. If it's not good for him to pursue this, then he shouldn't. Like he's in a spot where he's got a lot of positivity coming his way. Entering into this while it would definitely be funny and while it could create a shit like it would it's gonna it's gonna cause things to be revealed that are not right now. And I'm interested in that. And there's always the chance like everybody forgets how terrified we were

when we went into the motion to dismiss that the judge just wouldn't understand the internet. Yeah, and we just say, yeah, well, you know, go into discovery and that's gonna cost everybody 50 grand. Yeah, there you go. Oh, god, yeah. This is so uncertain. Going in, that seems certain to us.

Yeah. This is, I don't know what the certainty is, because I have no fucking idea what's going on. Yeah. That seems certain to us. This is, I don't know what the certainty is because I have no fucking idea what's going on. Yeah. I have no more information than anybody else. I don't want it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, sure.

But I get the, you know, as far as the clearing of the name or whatnot, it's like, how does he get another job like he has now? Yeah. You know what I mean? Where he doesn't have to rely on Patreon comedy. You know what I mean? Like, that's the thing.

I mean, it's like, how can this court case, I mean, would that help with that? Okay, he's completely exonere where it's like, yeah, this guy cost me my job. I really did nothing. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? This is what I don't wanna see. I wanna see like the Asterios, Coconos, Podfactory, or Podcast Factory. I wanna see a book, books for sale by his.

I wanna see that. Like he's good at creating. Yeah, but you mean what? About what subject? And you think he wants, I don't wanna see the rest of his life. Like we have a finite amount of time in the fucking day. And dealing with the lawsuit took up a lot of it.

I'm sure, a lot of his fucking exhausting all day every day. I don't wanna see this get sucked down by the other. You know what I'm saying? But what if he feels or it's, you know, his counselor whatever feels, it's the only way to basically ensure that he can work in that industry again. I don't see how that, I don't understand that at all. And that's where I think the conversation from last week came from. Is me just saying, I don't understand how this line, like I'm not connecting the dots as someone who's looking at this with a very cynical eye.

So yeah, I'm trying to think how it would help. I'm trying to think how basically the way it looks right now is he was, you know, he was in a online thing. Who knows what happened, but obviously Weber Shandwick felt the need to fire him. That which we learned that. Yeah. So, basically, if you're another company like that, there you go. This guy a little hot.

I mean, this guy a little radio idea. You want any kind of, why would you hire a guy who has any kind of controversy in the background? Do you think, so is a lawsuit going to fix that? I don't know. That's the point. I don't know. And is losing that lawsuit gonna be like a fucking nail in the coffin for the rest of your life?

Like these are good questions. Good fucking questions. These are good questions. Absolutely. Yeah. I guess we'll see. Yeah. I guess we'll see.

Yeah, people are saying leave it alone, but you know, you kind of, it comes out into the open with this when there's a, when it gets discussed, it gets discussed. There's obviously some sort of, there's obviously some sort of NDA involved that I don't know the details on. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'd say he knows, he knows the most about this situation, obviously. Um, let's just, let's, let's listen to this Monday and Matt.

Okay. No nonsense. What am I trying to, I'm just trying to say, I don't very little of this is about not wanting to write a check. Yeah, I get it. For stereos. I get it. Uh, it's about trying to keep in mind the actual ramifications of what he's going to enter

himself into. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I get it. Yeah. Okay. This is Monday in Matt on the Drunken Peasants show. They asked him about the lawsuit.

And it's not leave, like I'm not going to not talk about it to just leave it alone because everything's going to be on that goddamn document anyway. Oh, yeah. I don't think a stereo should be pressured into doing anything at this moment. You know what I mean? I don't want him to feel like he should have to live up to this obligation of like destroying, you know what I mean?

Yes. It's all very complicated, I guess I'm saying, and whatever he wants to do, well, to talk about, but if we're talking about it, we're gonna have to talk about it, Shawn. Oh yeah. All right, here we go, here's Monday, man. The deacon should not be given to much white wine in the Bible is fruit juice.

Now often it's alcoholic. I don't drink a lot. And other times it's not alcoholic, it just depends on the context. But you know what, as a pastor, I should not be given to either. The alcoholic kind or the non-alcohol kind. You know why?

Because if I'm given to the alcoholic kind, then I'm a drunk. And if I'm given to the non-alcohol kind, I'm gonna get fat. Is that a crime scene? Fuck me. I'm gonna get fat. You know, as a as a rotund American, I can agree. There's a lot of wood. You would.

No, okay, hold on. I don't even know how Maddox is right again too. Here we go. Oh boy. You should have had a conversation with them. You would have learned some shit. But anyway, no, no, no. Y'all bet you what up. What is that? Yeah, I'll bet you that's a dry, that's a dry fight. He's one of your other favorite people.

Oh yeah. And fix that. But you can't just keep doing the same thing and expecting to get a different result. There's a lot of shit. You would. No, okay, hold on. Tell me about how Maddox is right again too. You should have had a conversation with them.

You would have learned some shit. But anyway, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, oh, by the way, yeah, I know I'm smarter than you. I'm taking the dominant position right now, but then we're not going to talk about it because I don't have anything after this. What a fucking asshole. That's exactly what that is. Fuck you. You should have, you could have learned some shit.

Yeah, you could have, okay. What the fuck did you learn then? Okay, Maddox. Maddox is a documented liar, okay? Like it's like, you know the whole thing like, are you calling me a liar? People like kind of imply that it's like a untruth. No, he is a liar. Okay, like it's like, you know the whole thing like, are you calling me a liar? People like kind of imply that it's like a untruth. No, he is a liar. Maddox is a liar.

And there is one very bad proof after proof after proof, right in the court document. You God damn pussy, you arrogant sack of shit. You should have talked to him, you were gonna learn something. You were gonna learn what, what would anyone have learned? Say it. Did you know he was gonna punch Larry? What have you got?

What a fucking asshole these guys, why does anybody listen to this sack of shit? Why does anybody consume this piece of shit's podcast? Fuck you. That was the drive by is the biggest bullshit fucking, oh I'm just gonna just fucking fire this out the window and not stick around. But anyway, what a cock.

What a prick. Fuck you, Monday Matt. All right, let me see. He's got another one too. Apparently we still talking. Yeah, that was that was sheer ego and pride that led to that statement right there because he got stuck.

There we go. Are you the cops? The cops. Magog, did you really kill hookers? I did. It's not the ticker soves. It's just like you can, not the gogg, while I was scount. I'll say what?

I'll say what. Is that the reason why Magog wanted to sleep by himself? He didn't want to bump with anybody. He wanted his own place to kill the hookers. One day in Matt is a fat, soy- soy soaked penisless abomination who cries over YouTube form letters. You know, I feel like I should read out on the bench. It looks a lot like the same thing that Dick Masterson said on some other show about me. Count Daniels laughing, by the way.

I think that was him actually cracking up. What's going on? Full of soy and hurt feelings. I think that was it actually cracking up What's going on? Soy and hurt feelings. I think he's a fat. They're playing this for Matt Playing it. How that happened? It was through the it was through the you know, oh the TTS Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah, wow they couldn't hear it like Mat and Danc they couldn't hear it. Like Matt and Daniel couldn't hear that. That was interesting. Yeah. Look at his fucking face. I was like, why is Dick Masterson

on the show all of a sudden? Oh, that's pretty funny. I got weird. I should got weird quit. It played Dick Masterson saying that mundane, basically what we just, staring off into the fucking distance, like a beaten dog. Monday Matt is not pleased. No, I'm trying to I was trying to hear it. Uh, I don't give a shit with dick mattress instead about me. So Maddox lost.

Cool, man. I'm don't care. Have a nice time with you guys. I'm guessing Daniel is upset. You didn't get to have his trap. Haram in prison. Now it's going to have to be. Oh, man, fuck that guy.

What a little fucking asshole. I didn't hear what he said. That's what the chick from Dr. Phil said. Yeah, yeah, that's what he said. All right, well, I love those guys. They should have them back on. We should both go on that show. Okay, figure out so I can hear what was said about me

that everybody needs to learn. Yeah, sure. It hang out with them. You learn some things. Yeah. All right. This has been the Dix Show. Everybody, thanks for listening.

Thank you for coming to Dallas. Yeah, thank you very much. I'll see you in Atlanta. Great crowd. I got to thank Tigger's Body Art, I think. I got to thank Soyboy Industries. They made this amazing interlock device for microphones. They call it the Landau interlock microphone detector.

You blow into it. It's like a talk box. Yeah. This is one of the, this is like Rick Sanchez level craftsmanship on this joke device. It's tight, man. It's, look at that thing.

We get to try it. I'm gonna get coach in here. Yeah. It doesn't work on weeds. So it doesn't work on, it says patreon.com slash is the rios and the middle, of course, soy boy industries.

And if you blow into it, you blow a point away to chets your mic off. It's awesome. There you go. See, do I have anything else? Is everybody else I gotta think? I always fuck that up. So yeah, there you go, everybody.

Thanks for coming. And we'll see you next Tuesday. This song is going to be like it's so hard for Monday and Matt to just admit that he doesn't know what he's talking about. Or that, okay, or that, you know, he would go on record saying he believes the word of a document of a liar. Of a documented liar. Yeah. That's Monday and Matt, that's his credibility. You will believe the word of a document liar.

Or at least pose that, you know what I mean? Like, front like he believes that. It's because you should talk to him. I got the inside knowledge. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you guys, you guys, you should just talk to him. I will talk afterwards.

Yeah, yeah. I got some things for you. Change, yeah. I mean, you know, here's your talk to him. I will talk afterwards. Yeah, yeah. Well, I got some things for you. Change, yeah. I mean, you know. I'm sure. Yeah. Ah. These people, man.

It's fucking people. You know, I should play Ethan, I should play one of Ethan's songs, right? Yeah. Yeah. Ethan can, this is from Ethan Cantrell's album called Cutting the Cable. You can get it at Cutting the Cable

or Ethan Cantrell. bandcamp.com. He's got his all his albums. They can get it at Cutting the Cable, or ethinkantrail.bandcamp.com. I just got his all his albums there. I'll link to it on the site. Everybody see next Tuesday. No one's gonna do some voicemails. Jerry Springer, this one's called. Oh, good. I'm in the round him a little wife,

Peter, Sippin' Bear, and you're anating in the heater vent. I wonder whether I'm the one who went. You're anating in the heater vent. I'm only been 15 hours, since the last time I passed out in the shower, I wonder why the world to see So if I put it on TV, well, I poured your ball in, you knew it all along now Why don't you tell me, baby, who was in the wrong? I'm not a saying no, I'm just a sinner right now, let's's all go. Let's all go get down my terrace spring. Let's go

Let's go Let's go Get in the eyes with the pages straight press everything west go with just your brain till you're gone Get me nothing but a mother's home That's great. I don't like it. Yeah. Seeing him do it, Todd Sidel was there.

Fuck, I forgot to mention Todd Sidel. Yeah, but you just did. This plan is based. This is playing this bass. This is playing this bass. This is playing this bass. This is playing this bass. This is playing this bass. This is playing this bass.

This is playing this bass. This is playing this bass. This is playing this bass. This is playing this bass. This is playing this bass. This is playing this bass. This is playing this bass. This is playing this bass. This is playing this bass. This is playing this bass. This is playing this bass. I'm just a sinner right now, that's all go, that's all go and get down I'm just a sinner right now, that's all go, that's all go and get down I'm just a sinner right now, that's all go, that's all go and get down I'm just a sinner right now, that's all go, that's all go, that's all go and get down

I'm just a sinner right now, that's all go, that's all go, that's all go and get down I'm just a sinner right now, that's all go, that's all go, that's all go, that's all go and get down Alright, alright, very good. You hear the whole thing? That's fun. It's starting to not like me. Line around him a little wife, be the rake on a life bank, I'll know he'd a two-warme. So make some more of the story.

There's nothing but my responsibility, and he's had to work at the T-Shirt, don't work in the world to see on TV. I just realized this sounds like an acoustic Green Day song. Yeah, that's Old Green Day The 90s never should have ended That's fun. I like it Ethan Cantrell Oh Monday mad fuck you man just say just say you fucked up Just say you don't know say what you like say what you know then what were you told you fat fuck? I don't you know you stupid piece of shit. What were you like are you too stupid to know how, what were you told? You fat fuck, you stupid piece of shit.

What were you, like are you too stupid to know how it looks when you repeat the same thing over and over? Monday and Matt, were you too stupid to understand what a colossal lying manipulative fuck you look like when you say shit like that about me? We'll see because Tim Poole realized that he quickly, and does anybody have any animosity like for Tim Poole now? No. I think he probably got nothing but respect.

Like, you know what, I was out of an ego thing, I dug my heels in, my bad. Everybody's like, great. Yeah. Stop making shit up, you waste of skin and a lot of it. Yeah. Wait. You're taking up a lot of it over there. You fat fuck Monday and Matt God damn you Couldn't even he couldn't even look you know when it's gonna be a victim of the square cube law man Look that on up people fuck you and fuck your subscribers Monday and Matt. You can't even look at, you know that thing people do

where they can't look you in the eye. There's another look where they can't even look themselves in the eye. They lie so bad and they know they're fucking up so bad that they can't even look up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That alt that Judas look. It's like you fucking know even though I think

that Judas, there's some kind of weird fuckery going on in there. Do you fuck me Judas? You fuck me Judas? I think maybe, I think Judas and Jesus like co-inspired to make Jesus a martyr. Is that a real thing? I don't know. Is that a thing? And he's like the gospel of Thomas or something like that and he's got, I don't know. I need Nick Rackett's explanation of that. But they get this look where they can't even look themselves in the eye and it's sickening. And Monday and Matt is made of that look. What a colossal piece of shit.

What a lying and implying. What a frightened, what a frightened fucking child. Monday and Matt is, can't even look himself in the eyes. So he's such a fucking coward. And all of Monday and fuck you, fuck your subscribers. All of your content fucking sucks. Monday Matt, all of it sucks. All of it sucks. I wouldn't know. I would no. Space chair shove it up your ass. He's got a space chair. He's a man who can't shave because then he would look like that vampire in blade that they torture by shining sunlight on him.

Just a congealed mess like pizza, the fucking hut. That's what you should change your name to, mundane mat, pizza, the hut. Because you're a pile of congealed garbage. You fucking liar. You fucking liar who are so stupid, you got done in by an admitted liar. You fucking liar who are so stupid, you got done in by an admitted liar, by an admitted fucking liar.

You're too dumb to know that you're being lied to by a fucking con man. That's how, that's what kind of garbage takes you get with Monday and Matt. You fuck, you chin strap fuck, you piece of shit, fuck you. All right, Let's listen to some Facebook news You believe that hey shit heard rhino Say it's my face, but anyway say it call in tell me tell us what you heard then yep you sack a shit

Call it call in and tell us tell us what you heard pizza the hut Tell us what you heard, Pizza the Hut. I thought you started Facebook news, you're just sitting there. I wish I would have gone to VidCon just so I could say this to his face. Hey, Pizza the Hut. Hey, Pizza the Hut. Take your glasses off before you say it to me. Yeah. Pizza the Hut before you're lying and applying to me again.

Pizza the fucking Hut. Uh-huh. My name, Matt, you piece of garbage. You fucking garbage. Yeah, pizza the hut before you're lying implying to me again pizza the fucking hot My name man you piece of garbage you fucking garbage on a who knows how many people were listening to that show Count Daniel is on there my friend. Yeah Saying this shit in front of my fucking Billy the fridge who's hilarious Ben from drunken presents all of them Absolutely hilarious. He goes on their shows talks shit about me in front of my fucking friends, fuck you, pizza the hut. Yeah. Well, what do you know? I highly doubt that any of them believed him with that little, yeah, I doubt Ben went, oh, maybe there is something to it. Maybe there is something about it. Because remember, he got a big list of things of, yeah, he knows that he knows the mania.

You too, yes, he is. Telling the rich history of dick masters into each other like some kind of scarlet pimpernel. Maybe he's a cuckery fan too. Maybe that's what him and Maddox are talking about. Some kind of a weird cuck fetish thing. I don't know, just asking questions. You've giant turd. You talking turd, Monday and Matt, you fuck, oh God, fuck you

and fuck your astroturf facial hair. You piece of shit. Fuck your content. Fuck all your subscribers, unsubscribe from Monday and Matt. Fuck you. All right, here we go, Facebook. Saying that shit in front of my fucking friends. People I like.

Yeah. I got to wait a whole year to go to VidCon and tell him this dude's face. He's never gonna call in. No, one day mad. I think so. You know, he lol every time he tweets, he lols twice, like he's in the military.

Lol, and then he'll say his thing and then end it with a loal. He can't say anything without putting a loal in there. That's, well, that's telling the people following that it's supposed to be funny. Yeah, it's like it's conditioning, you know, the reactions. It's funny that this is a lump of pizza and shit thinks it's a person with an opinion. That's funny.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, sorry, Monday, Matt, we don't serve walking pieces pizza and shit thinks it's a person with an opinion. That's funny. Sorry, Monday and Matt, we don't serve walking, pieces of walking heaps of pizza and shit at this bar. Right. I don't know what we just kicked Bono out. Hey, here's a joke. I got a joke for you. Monday and Matt walks into a bar. And the bartender says,

Hey, we don't get many walking heaps of pizza and shit in this bar. And Monday and Matt says, well, at these prices, I'm not surprised. Oh, boy. Hello, Dick and hello, Dick. Sean, Sean, we don't get many heaps of pizzas and talking shit. We don't get many talking heaps of pizza and shit wearing glasses and have fake looking beards to disguise the fact that they haven't had a chin since they saw their dick in this bar.

And Monday Matt says here comes the bunch line. At these prices, I'm not surprised. The prices that are so high that are driving away all the walking, talking heaps of pizza and shit. Yes, I understand. It's not that no one exists in his name is Monday and Matt, it's the prices. Right.

But apparently he's still ordered food. He lacks so much self-awareness that he doesn't know he's the only walking, talking heaps of pizza and shit out there. Right, right. That's what I'm saying. Okay. Did Mattics tell you something like that? You walking, talking heap of pizza and shit out there. That's what I'm saying. Okay. Did Maddox tell you something like that? You walking talking heap of pizza and shit that,

like what could possibly be so fucking bad? That I deserve loads of $400 million. Yeah, yeah. Jesus Christ. You piece of shit, you walking talking pile of pizza and shit. You owe stereosan apology. It's a very fucking hell. It's a lot of our name. That owe Stereo's an apology. It's a very lot of fucking power. That's why it's funny. Yeah.

All right, here we go, Facebook news. Hello, Dick and hello, Dick. This is the Facebook group news for the last couple days. Chris and Corey got into a heated exchange this week over who can cook the better omelet. Corey posted his omelet asking for everyone's thoughts. and when Chris chimed in with how the omelet looked burnt, the two began sparring. Chris and Cory both shared their credentials and omelet cooking, and Cory called Chris a fucking joke. Chris ran into both pictures of his omelets, and instead of threatening each other with violence, Chris went on to post a poll with pictures of

the two omelets, and Chris's omelet won by a margin of 44 to 33 votes. Congratulations to Chris on his big win. Next up is David Davidson, who is a rage because there's a transit work who makes no effort to look like a woman at all, but still demands that he be called she. Yeah. David's coworker is constantly fucking up, sharing stories with customers about her tumble or diagnosed mental disorders, and going home sick a few times a month because she can't hear people.

Dickhead said these raw characteristics of a real woman and demanded that David share pictures, including nude. Sure, they got a point. Oh boy. Lastly, we have a poll from Christian. Christian asked Dickhead's if shaving your legs is gay. In one of the most unifying and unanimous polls in Dictoe history, we have the results. Nine votes for not gay, which include voters such as Kerry Grove, the main event himself, the silver hammer and even Haasen crews. On the contrary, 265 dickheads

say that men shaping their legs is in fact gay. This has been that it show Facebook news for the last couple days. Can we sue Monday and Matt for 20 million bucks for stealing all the pizza and driving up pizza prices? Pizza fuck pizza the hut. Pizza the Hut Sean. Remember him from space. What I do? He was he was locked in his stretch limo and ate himself to death. That's right. That's what I have. Uh oh, everybody, we gotta make sure Monday and Matt

doesn't get stuck in a car or a limo or self-defense type of situation where he's gotta eat himself. Taken for walks. Regular make from Sunday, let's send a check on him. Well fair check, what is that called? A welfare check. Yeah, I'm gonna make sure.

God, I fucking hate that scumbag. Sue him. Let's sue him on the moon for driving up the price of pizza. All right. Let's do some voice mails. You know, I, all I wanted, I wanted to just come in and have a nice, tight, short show and listen to some voice mails, Sean, but y'all wrote up you talking about pizza, me, I know, I derailed. Thank you, Rage, just people who can't get that. Well, just just cut mine, okay? It doesn't compromise like the carstone of diplomacy, which is itself the carstone of the

Republic, right? And again, the same, the same it's sufferable as holes on both sides. Well, there can be no debate on kind of abortion because, because it's purely murder. And so it must be outlawed, in all cases, the other side. Well, until a baby literally exits the giant, it's not even human life, it's basically a parasite. So, so bunch of cells. Every right to kill is a big donut

that you're basically not supportive with. It may be your bullfrog. It may be the idea that you're so right that no one could disagree with you is stupid. And as you should probably, even if you think that, put it aside for the realization that compromise is kind of what makes society work. And as right as you think you are, you have to respect other people because they also think they're just as right.

People can't do that, can't make people can't fucking do that because they can't do that. They're God, even one or any of't. They're God. You can wonder when you're the youngest. You're not a God. Or just stop asking the same question. Sure. You know what you got to do? You trick people into answering questions that fuck up their core beliefs. Right? Like, hey, if I gave you a time machine and you could go back and be a famous rock star,

what'd you do it? you a time machine and you could go back and be a famous rock star. Yeah. Would you do it? And then like, yeah, they're like, boom, you believe in abortion. Because it's basically, it's basically the same thing. No one asked Doc Brown, he was inventing the Delorean. Oh, so you, that's what would happen. Guy, I've invented time travel. Oh, so you support abortion.

If you find this time travel experiment, you obviously support abortion. Because you're going to, I mean, if you want to, if you're going to take the place of Elvis or something, yeah, I'm going to change, I'm going to go back and change my life. What if you, well, then you've affect other people. What if your kids don't exist? Well, I mean, you know, yeah, that might, there's probably a number of decisions that will happen where kids won't, and people won't exist. No, it's, that's abortion. They, they existed before the time machine. Yeah, I'll play it out like I was supposed to.

That's what I want to do. I want to see more silly. I want to, there's got to be like one silly guy in the press core. Yeah, always thumping people with weird sci-fi like black mirrors stuff, right? Yeah. All right.

Hey, Dick, rest of the crew. Christian from Dallas. I just wanted to call in and reiterate how sorry I am for bringing you guys to the shittiest fucking bar in Dallas. The envelope at the beginning was pretty cool. It was great. People started getting escorted out because they were like standing too close to like the fucking aisles. And by the time I was a a couple of people's friends were told the leave because they

thought we snuck them out when in fact him will show the fucking door man who you also berated uh... he showed him his real fucking i'd be not some fake piece of shit not like you got susdr anything so that this a few people off so you know figured we'd go Kimbo can't maintain and he's not old enough yet. He's not old enough to play cool that I made this weekend He'll learn that but so anyway, thanks for coming to Dallas. I hope you guys like the city I'm hanging out with you guys. So we'll see you guys later. I Want to go back even though there's nothing to do there.

It just felt like some kind of weird paradise. Yeah, it was cool. I liked it. I don't like the fucking heat and humidity. No, I didn't get enough accents either. We're guys walking around looking like like the Texas guy on the Simpsons. Yeah, that's what I really wanted to see.

Yeah. I didn't get any of that. Yeah, I think Kimball has that, doesn't wanna get away with it thing. Maybe. That we all have that self sabotaging. Yeah. I don't want to get a fake ID and I want to get caught.

I'm 19, I'm 19, I'm confessing. I confess. Yeah, well, I don't know. I confess. Oh, you know, if you're partying a lot, you kind of, you kind of can't tell the truth to everybody. And your lips get loose. Yeah.

I did. Yeah, Christian took us to maybe the worst bar I've ever been to in my life. It's up there. It smelled like a quiff and a fart, miscarriage. Right. And that was, and it was locked in there with us.

Right. And egg salad like buccacchi, the whole mess. And it was 200 degrees. I thought it was a trick and we got trapped in there by a witch who was turning us, it was 200 degrees. I thought it was a trick. And we got trapped in there by a witch who was turning us, who was baking us. Yeah. Yeah. That place was a place was fucking gross. Coach said he would never forget that bar or the person who made us go to that bar. Yeah. Yeah. Very specific. Yeah. Very specific. No, he'll never forget. And he'll never forget. Oh, that's right. I'll never forget. They'll never forget that bar. I'll never forgive this.

He's like a vindictive elephant, you know? I think it was my fault, though'll never forget, they'll never forget that bar, I'll never forgive this. He's like a victim elephant, you know? I think it was my fault though. I got so pissed at the wait staff people pushing us out of the way. Yeah. And I got pissed at the manager. Oh, at the first place? Yeah.

Oh, giving Kimble attitude. Yeah. Like, I asked Kimble to come over to talk to him. I was sitting outside of the patio. I was like, come over here. Let's shoot the shoot and have a good time. And the manager came, Kimble even said, I don't think I'm supposed to come over to talk to him. I was sitting outside of the patio. I said, come over here. Let's shoot the shoot and have a good time. And the manager came, Kim believe in said, I don't think I'm supposed to be over here. The manager came over. He's like, Hey, do you speak English? Because what did I tell you a second ago? It's like,

dude, did you really need to ask him that? Did you need to ask him that? Where did you ask him to go to? I was sitting outside in the patio? And he had a beer in his hand? No, he didn't know. He was kind of a sculk. He was in the street, like looking like he should have that the Lannister Moore set music being played. Like he was an abandoned puppy.

No, that's ceramic lock. ceramic lock. He was in the street, shooting it. And the guy came over. That was really good. Now he's probably having a bad day. Yeah, probably, but he was a bad day. So he was a prick about it.

Yeah. Like what the hell, come on. Just let this guy sit down, whatever. It's got to, Kimbley, you got to get a fake ID, though, buddy. Come on. Okay, this is Joseph, a face from nowhere. I'm looking to the congenital and realize mental

justice custom baby test fund the group of a couple of years later now you max campaign i wonder

that's a cop uh... i mean i don't think she comes from a bunch of money actually because she's chris once out being

celt and so i think ecstasy thing metal desk trust in baby. Maddick was a wister and manipulated her into paint for lawyers. Retreat Marks for the lawsuit for everything.

Now that they're broken up, you can't pay for shit. Because a shitty podcast that gets about 1000 viewers and no sponsors. A website you never update, but course never out of the ads on and the book that took you fifteen years or so whatever to write isn't gonna pay for l.a.a. so i assume that i'll just trust my baby pay for everything now that the broken up

maddox is extremely freaking poor i don't know but i've got you know i don't i I don't think she's just as fucked as him and whatever they do. Yeah, yeah. I don't think she's a trust fund, baby. I don't know. I gotta say that the limp, the land out in her lock microphone protector was, the sorboyer industries was Sean Star. Sean Star is the one.

Very good. Just remembered that. Interesting. I guess there's no point talking about the lawsuit, the counter-suit should anymore. I just, I want a stereos to, to co on the, the light path, a little bit, I guess, you know? Yeah, yeah.

You go down the dark path, you gotta start getting real specific. Just for a while, just think about it for a while. Nothing. And it doesn't have to happen right now. That's the best advice. And if anybody is giving him money, that's great. Yeah.

Uh, for any reason you want to support his theory. I think that's fucking fantastic. He makes all the live shows really is incredible. He is incredible dimension to them. But, um, yeah. shows really is incredible. He is incredible dimension to them, but yeah. I think everyone wants the best for Stereos. Yeah.

And we're all fighting it out to make sure the best for you. We're all a Stereos' parents. Yeah, right. We're arguing about it. Hey, you know what makes me a rage? I just went today to get the worst. Rajveer says I don't want the best for him.

The bull procedure, right? They 30 bucks, change the oil, see you later. As I go in, I see that they put a sticker at the top of my windshield saying like, the place where is that the oil change? When I should come back, or like in 3,000 miles, first of all, when I should come back three months that's way too little but you

sick and a ball this sticker that i did not have to be put there i finally decided to try to peel it off so first time you said it's a lot of way we're just the he's never got a sticker in his windshield the paper and the glue residue is still permanently a fix to my fucking windshield and now it's

mudges I can't take the last part of this to grow up it was a thousand times worse like that's the field they use an actual sticker they should not have done that it's usually just a thing that clings now they fucked me I just wanted an oil change in my windshield is permanently fucked with this with this goddamn glue let's get some glue gone all right all right little much that's a little much I was a little like this one have you ever noticed when you take a grunge shower? yeah, and then you start pissing

then you don't know if you've stopped because of because of all the water and shit and You're like your pelvic floor muscles and then it just feels like you're pissing forever. Yeah Shower piss in Nirvana, even though you stopped pissing a while back, but you don't really notice you don't notice your trunk and Your body is all the same temperature. Yeah. I don't remember that. Oh, man. It kind of makes sense as he was explaining it

and going along. You can get into this perfect spot where you're, you're pee. Cause you're so relaxed, right? You're so relaxed. Yes. And your body's warming up and it's all the same temperature and then it becomes this,

it becomes the same temperature as the piss becomes this, it becomes the same temperature as the piss. Wait, I know what you're talking about. And you're so relaxed that the sphincter, you don't feel it shutting, you just feel totally open. Like, yeah. Everything is flowing through you and then you think, what if I opened my mouth

and I could just swallow the right amount of water that I could just pee forever? Well, that's like the new meditation. That's man. They're teaching that for a thousand dollars, a half hour, and silver lake now. How to pee forever? Yeah. I've heard about that.

It's like tantric pissing. Yeah. For men, getting weird poses to pee. Yeah. Because of how satisfying it is. Yeah. All kinds of evacuations. The Squatty Potty was just the first step.

Yeah. We're doing downward dog. Right. Standing up. Right. Standing up with the Flamingo running. Oh, yeah. Running, of course.

Can you poop while you're running? Oh, I mean, it depends, you know, how bad your stomach is. I mean, if you think you're gonna get more than you bargained for, I mean, you better not run. That's a dangerous game. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it can happen running. You know, we should start doing what makes me a calm.

That would be an interesting. I'm talking about all this piss is in. What makes me a calm? I don't know if that's gonna fly the same way. I don't think so. No, maybe not. I don't have the same thing. Maybe not.

You know, it's like, you know what I really like? You know what I really enjoy? No, it's nobody wants to hear that. Nobody wants to hear that. Nothing. Because nothing is what I really enjoy? No, it's nobody wants to hear that. I'll say that. Nothing. Because nothing is what I really enjoy. One more, okay, this is Sean, you didn't like that other guy,

but this is one that will definitely work you up. Oh, okay, really? Yeah. Hey, Dick, I got a rage for you this week. Small Tupperware. Now, I was looking around my house for some couple where to put one of my half-completed meals away,

and all I could find were these little shitty tiny, like the small cup where you get when you buy a set of cup, now I don't fucking get that shit, because why not just send or sell all the big cup of where, get like five of those, as opposed to two tiny ones, two mini ones, one big one. The big one. Because you know what, you can put little amounts of food

in big Tupperware, but you can't put big amounts of food in little Tupperware. Sean is in simple stuff. Anyway, that's all I have for this week. Go fuck yourself. Big Tupperware, put anything in that. Little Tupperware. You can't.

Where is the condiments are easier in the little, the little round Tupperware with the snap on, lids. You can bring salad dressing in it. You can bring, and you don't have to pack a whole bunch of shit. What am I gonna put a half a piece, half of a salmon filet? What do I need to keep this for? Oh, liquid, semi liquids.

You got Ziploc bags for that. Oh, God. All right, everybody. You're a raw man, I had to. You're right, that pissed me off. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Damn it, I had a real good. I had a good one from a guy who needed advice.

We'll do, I'll do it later do... Ah, I'll do it later. Alright. I'll do it later. Alright, everybody. See ya. Thanks. If it's Monday, fuck Monday, man.