The Dick Show - Episode 110 - Dick on Avoiding Holes

Episode Date: July 10, 2018

People getting stuck in holes, snipers for hat snatchers, a real-life PvP solution, racist artificial intelligence, yelling at an Apple Genius, the 20 Million Dollar Mead man calls in, Dame Pesos' news segment, and Clay Bangs a Trans Woman; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Here we go. I don't even know if I can think straight. This one's gonna be real weird, Sean. Already? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe the weirdest. We'll pretend it's like a Thursday night bonus. It says a double night bonus episode.

I can't think. I can't fucking think. Yeah! Hey! Welcome to Dick, you on Dick, you on Dick, you need Dick, you got it! It's a show where everything is a contest coming to you live from a mountain bunker deep in the heart of the city of failure. I'm your host, Dick Masterson.

Okay, the $20 million man. Join me as always, Sean, the audio engineer. Hello, Dick. Pretty good so far. Let's go down the checklist so far because I can't think. No way to go but down. No way, so that was okay. I got everything in there.

Start at the top, work your way down. I didn't start saying I was somebody weird, somebody else, I didn't say like, hey, I'm Nicholas Cage's daughter coming to you from a closet and a spaceship and an alternate reality, a place called the Twilight Zone. Because that's what I might've said.

Yeah. I have no idea what's coming out of my mouth. You're going on sheer muscle memory at this point. I'm going on muscle memory. I'm like a bug with the head cut off and it just goes, keeps going. Yeah. I don't even know if that's a thing. Yeah, chicken with the head cut off and it just goes, it keeps going. Yeah. I don't even know if that's a thing.

Yeah. Shicken with the head cut off. Running around. Yeah. Running around like crazy because it's so effing hot. It is. So hot. So oppressively hot that I have lost all conception of the self.

It's worse than Dallas. It's worse than Dallas. And that's saying something. It's worse than Dallas. It's worse than Dallas. And that's saying something. It's worse than hell. Yeah. This is no, nothing. Next month, I think we're going to hell. Yeah.

Next month, we're gonna be in Atlanta, or road rage Atlanta. I thought, see, I thought that in the South, somebody told me that in the South, the seasons were opposite. Oh, in the South. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Somebody told me that a long time ago in school,

some fucking teacher. I think you have to go further South. Well, they didn't say. So I just said, oh, the South, the seasons, when it's summertime here in the South, it's winter. Yeah, they left it kind of open-ended for you. I guess you're the way your teacher taught it. So I thought it would be fine

to have a road rage in Atlanta, August 4th. I was like, oh, you know, it'll be snowing. Yeah. In the South. Yeah. And the Southern hemisphere of the United States. Mm-hmm. That's what that's what I thought we were doing.

Well, the US is the world. So yeah, that's the, I mean, America, you know, it's an easy mistake to say. Southern America. I looked it up on the map. It's a Southern hemisphere. Yes. Yeah. So road rage Atlanta is happening August

fourth, August fourth, you can go to Dick. Show slash road rage tickets. All one word. That's where I always send all the tick secretly. I always put the tickets there. Pick them up. Pick them up now. It's a small theater at the masquerade. It's a very small theater. I threw it up to Patreon's first, It's a very small theater. I threw it up to Patreon's first, but it's a small theater and it will probably sell out as the small theaters usually do, but this is the best we could do to piggyback on the Asterios coconut scratch comedy tour. Is this like a road rage light? That's not a road rage light.

It's a road rage concentrate. Oh, that's good. Yes. Don't fuck, don't fuck with my branding. Don't ever give anyone the illusion of less. Yeah. Yeah. It's concentrate. Concentrate. We're concentrating the show. Yeah. Into, I think it only seats like 150 people. It's very small, very small. The smallest one so far, and it's definitely gonna sell out. Like orange juice concentrate. Some of the smaller crowds have been the most boisterous too. Yes, not from concentrate.

You wanna know why? Too dangerous, too much flavor. That's why they don't want you to have orange juice from concentrate. The Asterios garage tour comedy show, I couldn't be more pleased with because it seems to be a ramshackle of fair. I don't know where it is.

Is there any other way for this to go? I can hit up by a different guy. I can hit up by a different guy for something they're planning every single time that I'm told information about it. A different guy. Yes, which is always the sign that something's being put together

to the highest possible. Because the previous guy killed himself or just said, fuck it, I'm done. I had an idea and it's, it's fucked. Fuck it. I quit. I quit. Somebody else doing one of the else doing you think you can do better? Be my guest. It's one of those. Yeah. think you can do better, be my guest. It's one of those. Yeah. Like the sword in the stone. Oh, you want to pull the sword? Hey, go nuts.

I couldn't pull it out because I'm too weak. Go for it. You think you can run England, buck and right there, pull it out of the ground, and you show everybody what a big dick you have. Well, then you'll be back here in two weeks, putting it back in, and some other big swing and dick can try to pull it out of the ground.

Yeah. Well, then, and then whoever eventually pulls it, the guy before him will go, well, I loosened it up for you. Yeah. The guy who actually pulls off the road, right? Well, the other guy who didn't pull it is like, oh, now I get to commentate on it, which is the greatest pleasure in life, commentating on other failures. Well, yeah, this is, this goes back to like your family and the houseboat trip and the, yeah, it is almost as good as accomplishing on your own,

the payoff of criticizing other people compared to the amount of work put in is just about as good, as we have to assume is just about as good as putting in all the work and succeeding. Because you see what I'm saying. That's just the way we are. Road, road, road, road, land on. I think peach is going to be there. I hope peach is going to be there.

Cool. So birthday, I think a stereosis birthday is right around there too. Is it going to be a big birthday party? Monkey Jones is not. Could be his last one. He's last birthday. He's going to already laying us. God.

God, he should be having the time of his life though. Those, like the sanctions are proceeding. Yeah. Yeah. This is great. Well, this is great. These are the sanctions we've all been, all been waving for.

What's going in the right direction? It's going in the right direction. We're gonna know. Yeah, we're gonna know whether or not landhouse fired, Maddox, Estaria, Greenberger filed a thing this week that said, a solution that said sanctions are going forward. Yeah, no matter what. I love that, you know, will drop our sanctions.

Will drop our sanctions if you drop yours. Like, okay, yeah, one guy with a fucking, you know, with a grenade in his hand and the other guy with a feather. Yeah, it's like, oh, yeah, I'll put this feather down. If you put that grenade down. Oh, God. Yeah, fucking idiot. Well, I'm very interested to see what happens there.

I don't know when they're happening. Another month, another, another two months, but God, it's great. I have other lawsuit news. Yeah. Yeah, I paid the final bill. I paid my final bill for the lawyer. Ooh.

From this started in November, it ended. It ended now, I guess, because I closed out the books. Yeah, wow. The last conversation I had with my lawyer was, I mean, was me telling them that they could do whatever they wanted because as far as I was concerned, the business relationship was over. Yeah, and they did a great job.

Matt's an adderman, did a great job. Do you have a guess? Do you have a guess how much it was? I put a little contest out on Twitter and Facebook to see if it gets closest without going over. I remember you said something closest without going over. I mean, you would closest to that. I mean, you would you would set it one point. It was like 25 right something like that. That was a while ago.

So yeah, you passed that. I'm going to say 33. Oh, close. Yeah. 37, 737, 94, 37,000, 737, 94 cents. That's a lot of fucking money. It's a nice truck. That's not so much money. It is. It's damn $7,000, $737.94. That's a lot of fucking money. It's a nice truck. Yeah, that's how much money it is.

It's damn nice truck. Yeah, that's welcome to the, welcome to the USA. Yeah. That's so much across. So whoever got closest without going over, I'm going to send you a t-shirt on Twitter and Facebook. Thanks for playing. And thank you, America, for giving me the opportunity

to do this. I brought in, I went and found some statistics because we recorded a biggest solutions episode with Mad Cux in Dallas. Yeah. And he brought in lawsuits. Yes. That's his biggest solution in the universe.

That episode should be up now, patreon.com slash the dick show. It's Mad Cux. It's Mad Cux's last episode and it's a little weird. Yeah, it's a little weird. It's a little weird, but that's all we got. That's the closer and the whole biggest franchise. Well, we didn't know it was this last episode.

No, we didn't. He did, and he did on us. He did, he did. He did, he did. Sneaky son of a bitch. But in that episode, he said we spend so many hundreds of billions of dollars. Crazy. On these lawsuits every year, that human being spend hundreds of billions of dollars. Crazy. On these lawsuits every year that human being spend hundreds,

hundreds of billions of dollars squabbling and squibbling over hurt feelings and rectangles that look like other rectangles and slip and falls. For God, you walked into a store and you slipped and you fell. That's a paycheck. For sure. Just tons trying to grind out, trying to grind. It's like we pull these money, we pull money off the tree. And in order to get it from the tree to us, we've got to put it through a grinding machine that turns it into little tiny or pellets. And this grinding machine is the law

that just burns it up and churns it up and destroys it. Burns all the money. I looked it up and churns it up and destroys it. Mm-hmm. Burns all the money. I looked it up. It's $200 billion. They spend on loss, that corporation spend on lawsuits. That's a third of their profits. Annually. A third, yeah, a third of their profits annually.

That was great. Coach couldn't believe that one third figure. No, but it's it seems insane. I look at this fucking show. Yeah, you stack this show in a stereosis patreon together. That might be close, which is terrifying part. It's like, fuck, you want to know why? Like you want to know why people aren't getting raises across the board.

It's not because of the one percent. It's because everybody's so busy suing each other and defending it for hundreds of billions of dollars. That is insane. It's estimated that Americans spend an excess of $300 billion a year in litigation. Apple spent more on legal fees than research and development per year.

Oh, it's a disaster. It really is. It's Oh, disaster. It's a total disaster. It's such a fucking litigious society. And after going through it, anything would be better. A game of horse would be better. Some, I would rather at least have at least at least have 10 random, 12 random people, 100 random fucking people, at least like, you know, the problem is

people don't have reliable, they don't have reliable friends. You know what I mean? Like somebody gets, a woman dates a guy, brings the guy around her friends and they just go, no, no, veto, no, no, no, you get a little bit of a consensus going, right? We don't have any of that. Judges have to take judges, have to take every lawsuit on a first date before they know. You know what I'm saying?

I do. We need just the basics, Sean, the basics of putting a, you're like, you're writing a book report, submit it to everyone. If you get, if you don't, if you can't get a plurality of, of not knows, then send it to court. Yeah. Just waste everybody's time with this unreadable horse shit. No, do it again. No, do it again.

Pay, this is, this is the simplest. This could be the simplest system in the world. You pay everybody a hundred bucks. Just read the thing and say if it at least deserves to go to court, all anonymous, you think we can't figure this shit out? You probably end up saving money on the long run. Everybody would save money.

Everybody, how much does it cost to file one of these goddamn things that's costing hundreds of billions of dollars, hundreds of billions of dollars, hundreds of billions of dollars going to wasted bureaucracies and professions that don't need to exist. All of America spends 300 billion a year, and corporations spend 200 billion a year. It's something in the hundreds. Something like that.

It was hard to find. It's almost the population of the United States, the 300 billion a year. I mean, or times, times, times, a thousand. Yes, exactly. Everybody could just get a thousand dollars. Yeah. How about that? That's crazy. You look at how many missiles we could buy for this amount of money. Yeah. It's, it's fucked. Yeah. The system is fucked. Where you don't even get, you don't even get that first level of, hey, you know what, here, I'm going to give everybody just go down the street, go door to door, like a pedophile has to do, hey, we read this lawsuit and give me a yes or no, give me a signature, give me a signature at least, at least, how much could that cost?

So in England, I, in the UK, I guess, under certain circumstances, the loser will pay court costs, I understand. I don't know about that. I don't want that because these idiots don't have any money. Well, yeah, that's true. Right. But point, I think the point is that they're trying to keep frivolous lawsuits out. That's not, you know what?

That's, I don't think that's a good incentive. Why not? Because first of all, if you've got nothing to pay, fucks up. Then just go for it anyway. Yeah. Yeah. Like what's the worst it can happen?

I still, they can't get nothing from you. And then you still have to fight it. I'm trying to reduce that initial number. You tell, you find me 10 people that have to put their, that have to put their picture of their face on, hey, I said yes on this. All right, just give me a guy to sign this. An anonymous person was better than this.

Something's gotta be done about that. That's insane. Something simple, something simple, and that all gets passed on to everybody, doesn't it? I mean, in product costs or product sales price all that kind of stuff, I mean, it's just, yeah. $200 billion. You're paying for that and everything you buy.

And there's another way you do to stop it. It's part of the, it's a feature. It's a feature of the system. Let me see, what else makes me a rage here? People getting trapped in holes. Oh yeah, was it the Thai soccer team, the kids, the coach? They all blend together.

Went spelunking, you know, or... I don't know why. I don't know why it is that getting trapped in a hole is like worldwide news. Yeah. You know what I mean? Right. God got a guy fell in a hole, John.

We gotta sound the global alarm. This is man's, this is our deepest fears. It's not a guy got shot, a got robbed, got bit by a spider. It's a guy fell in a hole. It's a guy fell in a hole. Kids, a kid fell in a hole. Well, stop the presses. We've got this.

It's man's oldest enemy. It is international news. Yeah, it is. International news. You gotta heal on musk. We gotta get him out here immediately to figure out this whole situation. We gotta get this.

Why not is man in the world? He's talking about it's a merciful. Aren't they already rescuing them? Like a lot earlier than they thought. They thought they'd be down there for like four months or some shit like that to the water receded. It's a hole. Cause they're stuck in the water.

Yeah, they're rescuing them. They're in this, they're in this fucking cave and the pathways filled up with water is by understanding they're stuck on some fucking island under, you know, half a mile below the surface. Yeah, somehow. The true enemy. Yeah, holes are deepest nemis is.

The fuck are you doing in that? The fuck are you doing in that? You're, what, what'd you get lost on the way to the field? What the fuck are you doing in that? Easiest thing to avoid. Yeah. A hole in the ground. Yeah, don't go under the ground.

We don't know what the holes look like. Stay away from the hole. Yeah. Don't go in the holes. Yeah. Yeah, but what could be in the hole? Just more hole. Better find out. Yeah, we're not gonna know holes. Yeah. Yeah, but what could be in the hole? Just more hole. Better find out.

Yeah, we're not gonna know until we got to explore this hole. Right. I don't understand. I don't get why it's international news every time someone gets stuck in a hole. It's because it's a bunch of teenagers. What about when those minors were trapped in a hole? It was a bunch of them.

Yeah. I love the story where they all came because it took a long time to get them out, where the, I think we've talked about this before, where the people were bringing pictures of their loved ones and stuff like that, and two women showed up with the same guy's picture. Oh, really?

Oh yeah. Whoops. Oh, shit. That's the only guy. Fucking hole. The only guy who's still in that hole right now because he won't come out. Yeah, I don't know. It's funny. It's funny. The first, the first, the first president,

presidential candidate, they get stuck in a hole, they're gonna win. That's gonna be the future of politics. Trump's gonna stick himself in a hole next time 2020. Whatever you got, I don't know his, yeah, I don't know how he, yep, even in the shelter of the victory, because he fell in a hole and stuck in a hole. Nation stop news coverage, made him look sympathetic,

made him look sympathetic and like one of the normal people, yeah, he's stuck in a hole. He's just sitting down there in his suit, yeah, having McDonald's pumped down to him, yeah, yeah, yeah. Describing people that he wouldn't want to be in the hole with. Yeah.

I don't know why it's so funny, because it's terrifying, right? You're stuck in the hole, but at the same time, it's really does separate the victim blamers from the victim shamers. Okay. Is what I'm calling them from now on. Yeah. The victim blamers from the victim shamers. Okay. Is what I'm calling them from now on. Yeah.

The victim blamers are gonna do, and like, look, it's not their fault that got stuck in a hole. We gotta do anything and everything. And yet, this could have happened to any of us. Like, I don't go in any holes. Yeah, I don't, so I may have sunk a boat, but I still float. Yeah, that's fine.

Right. But they could have avoided that hole. It's all I'm saying. Well, I mean, I don't know. How are you not gonna go in the hole was there. It had to be explored. Yeah, that's why people climb mountains, you know, as I didn't malerie coin that for, you know, because it was there.

Yeah, that's why I had to go in the hole. That's why, yeah, it was there. Oh, God. Someone's gonna get stuck in a hole on Mars one day. Yeah. We're gonna have to dispatch what billions of dollars. Elon Musk. Elon Musk. That's what he's gonna do to raise him from the dead. He's gonna get out. He's gonna martyr himself like like Sam Beckett. Yeah, he's gonna go to Mars and get himself stuck in a hole. You remove media. He's gonna be him standing in a waste deep hole. and get himself stuck in a hole. You remove media.

This is gonna be him standing in a waist deep hole. Mm. Like I said, I'm not making any sense today because the heat is so incredible. It really is. It's God's punishment. I get it. Global warming is a big problem now.

Stop doing, I'm just, I'm like, whatever you're doing, stop it. I'm gonna reduce my energy consumption doing, stop it. I'm going to reduce my energy consumption to whatever it takes. Okay. I'm only going to get my whole entire life is going to be powered by a bicycle that I pedal and store it up. Gotcha. My fridge, I'm only going to eat nuts and beans, no more refrigerated food, no more television. You're gonna put on puppet shows by myself and a box holding in front of me. No more carbon footprint if this is what we're in for,

John, that's what I'm saying. I can't handle it. The heat is too fucking much. The heat is so much that I've lost all sense of self. Oh, right. Every time I see, you know, you've ever watched those Chinese traffic videos? Yeah, I've seen them. Yeah, and people are like on a bicycle going through cars that are zinging and zanging all over and you're like that guys has no fear of death

Yeah, what is his what is he doing that for he's gonna get does he not have that sense of doom like that his life is That he's risking his life, when other people's decisions and reaction times, you know? Or those truckloads of Indians hanging onto a train, stuff like that. Oh my God, how many, how many guys do you guys do that? Indians, there must be like a hundred people in India who lose their legs every day to a train.

I don't know, fucking why. I think it's, I'll tell you why. Because the really poor areas, the train tracks go through, and like, I don't know, these like mother fuckers, I've got their fucking, you know, beats, headphones on or something, you know, and they're fucking, next thing you know, there's a video of them without legs. It seems to happen in India all the time.

It's because it's so hot. That's why they're just not all. They're not heat out. They're not heat out anymore. Yeah. You are just a zombie. Yeah. You are an automaton drifting through life aimlessly.

And with no sense of self or purpose, 80s girls spilled an entire drink on the couch. I mean, yesterday I was like, I don't, I don't even care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't lay in it. Don't even clean it up. It's hot. It's not even pleasant. Don't even. I don't care. Yeah. I was ready to nail a sheet into the wall, just for some, well, I saw you have like a, like a sun blocker up in the,

in the upstairs in the living room. I was, there's a huge blackout curtain piece there. Yeah, held up by a piece of plywood. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's got ice cubes in his IPA for fuck's sake. Everything in life is like a tactics game when it's this hot. Like every move has to be preserved. If it's not, you know what I mean? Where you'd like turn-based strategy. Guys, not a good metaphor. All right. Something for the game players out there, I guess. Let me see what else I got that I'm upset about. Oh, no, I'll tell you what really makes me rage this week is, is hat stealing.

Okay. Have you ever had a hat stolen? No. Mm. It's one of the most humiliating and embarrassing things that can happen to you as a person. Oh, you mean like somebody comes in your house and steals one of the hats that you're not wearing? Just you're walking around. Somebody grabs a hat off of your head and then holds it as though it's their own. Oh, it's haunting you with it.

Okay. But you're like, yeah, if I would have been holding it, then you wouldn't have got it. But it was on my, it's haunting you with it. Okay. But yeah, if I would have been holding it, then you wouldn't have got it. But it was on my, it was resting on my head. Happened this week. Some, some asshole stole a, a Trump hat from somebody in a public setting. Just came by and ripped that off his head. But I guess he didn't give it back. I don't think so. Yeah. And then he launched to go fund me. Oh. And said that the guy was being a racist.

You know, anything goes these days. Right? Anything goes. You just have to say it. It's true. You're wearing the wrong hat. You get it ripped off your head. The worst, the most humiliating type of insult.

Yep. There is stealing a man's hat. Well, now we know what it's like to live in the inner city. And where they don't have. Yeah, exactly. We took gang, we culturally appropriated gang violence. Yeah. We're now wearing the wrong hats and confronting each other in public, screaming at each other,

stealing said hats. First I thought it was kind of a hypocrite because I love stealing the, he would, he will not divide us flag. Oh, yeah, except I think that's more about shy of above. It is because he's such a fucking little prick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I, I think that's more about trolling than it is about politics. I, I totally believe that. But stealing these poor, mega guys hats, the make America great again, guys. I think is is is is terrible It really it enrages me every time like I want somebody it's big and it's not because of politics

It's because that's fucking bullshit going around stealing hats It is if people were grabbing pussy hats off of fat ladies heads and taunting them with it running them around I would like to think I'd be equally upset. That's all I'm saying. Because it's not yours, man, like you've got a stealing. The guy was happy with his fucking hat. Yeah. Let's get over the politics of it and just all be together

over fun hats. Still serve to purpose. What? I mean, you know, shaded his head. Shaded his head. Could've been a hot day. You son of a purpose. What? I mean, you know, shaded his head. Shaded his head. Could've been a hot day. You son of a bitch. I'm equally, I'm equally upset, I would be equally upset over either side stealing hats.

If you're the other guy from the other side and it was politics based, wouldn't you want to identify the people you don't really want to be around or talk to? I thought that about the gay baker stuff too. Yeah. Like in like in racist baker stuff, like if a restaurant doesn't serve gay people or a baker won't bake a cake, bake a cake that has two guys banging each other. Right. Well, that was going to be the, yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, little maybe maybe not maybe not the best, but that's what they wanted. That's what they wanted.

I thought that too, I was talking, I think it's talking to Allegro about a long time ago. Wouldn't you want to know what businesses don't serve any groups that you think should be protected so that somebody could go and make a competing business that does. Wouldn't that be like, why would you want to legally require racist to not admit it? Seems weird. Seems like you'd want them to admit it.

So you could, I totally say I have a matter of business. I see that argument. Yeah. Right. Yeah. It seems like you'd want them. Yeah. Identify them and then vote with your vote with your checkbook,. As they say, the hat stealing really pisses me off.

It's totally, it's, it's, it's, it's total bullshit. I want to get a mannequin in a field, like a scarecrow, put a little hat on it and then just get snipers to take the people out who want to steal it. Because I don't think anybody wants them around. Yeah. I don't think anybody wants the hat stealers, the snatchers, the confronters, all these fucking pricks getting famous on the internet for being jerks, picking on people and can't fight back.

Yeah, what? Nothing. We'd a, we'd a P versus P mode in life. P versus P. Yeah, what's that? P versus P is like, you know, you know, you know what a memorial, memorial, a Gaze, massive multiplayer online. Uh, that's a role playing game. That's a shot. It's a hell hell of an acronym.

It's world of warcraft. Okay. Like world of warcraft, massive. You know, like world of warcraft. Massive multiplayer. Yeah. People are all in the place and role playing. I think I only know Leroy Jenkins. Yeah. Okay. You know, Leroy Jenkins. Yeah. So I totally know warcraft. So when you're playing one of those games, there's all these dicks around you with swords and stuff. You can't just go as playing stabby stab and killing other people and fucking up their memorial kaboga, memorial kaboga experience, right?

Jesus Christ. So they have a setting that you could turn on where you are down for throwing down with other people in the memorial kaboga. You don't wanna just fight computers, you wanna fight other people. Yeah, but right. So you can set that flag and go like, what's up? I'm down to just fight computers. You want to fight other people. Yeah, but right right so you can set that flag and go like what's up?

I'm an I'm down to get fucked with yeah, and if other people are down to get fucked with Then they can come fight you. Yeah, that's called player versus player So you can toggle that on and say and signal to everyone that you're ready to go got it. We need that in life Yeah, it's not enough. It's great. It's great that the Antifa guys and the Chads, whatever we're calling them, the Nazis, whatever on the other side that they are pejoratively called, can meet up in these groups and beat the hell out of each other. Yeah.

And I honestly think that the Antifa guys like losing. Like I think they get some kind of weird thrill and getting their ass kicked because they think that they're contributing more to their cause like that. Maybe so. And I know that the... That martyr kind of complex. Yeah.

Like the last thing they want is to show up and just kick and be standing there with their whatever their flag, their black and red and white flag. Then they truly look like fascists. Yeah, then there's the man. They are anyway, but they don't want to win. Yeah. They want to get their ass kicked. Yeah.

It's like a weird, you get the sympathy too. Like a weird guy standing up for what's right, you know, and suffering for it. Yeah, but exactly. God forbid you win. And the other side, I know wants to win. Yeah. Because I see him, my God, that was good. You really connected. The other side, well, you, I'm, the dream on the other side is,

please let one of the women on their side come up to me and start shit. And then I'm just gonna pretend that's my wife or girlfriend and really, you know, you know, they're all, we're all thinking it. Yep, yeah. It's not enough to just beat the antifa men. The dream. Well, I've seen it. Fuckin' fuck off.

They think they can do anything they want physically to a man. to just beat the antifa men, the dream. Well, I've seen it. Fuckin' fuck off. They think they can do anything they want physically to a man. And like a few of them have found out that that is not a good idea. But they love it, both sides love it. Yeah. We gotta keep it just to them. PVP, we need a PVP in life.

You're walking around with a hat. That doesn't mean like the, it's gotta be an underground cultural thing. Like with gay men, when they were underground, they would have a handkerchief system or so I have read on the internet. Yeah. Where if they were like a top, they'd have a,

they'd be wearing, they'd like to wear a black V-neck, for example. Oh yeah. Yeah. And they were, You suck one dick and you're forever labeled a cock sucker. Yeah a system a system to signal to other players in this game I'm saying. Yeah, what isn't the maga hat kind of a flag in real life? What do you mean? I mean wouldn't that signal? Yeah, maybe that like you're okay to be fucked with no That's my point. Why?

Because it's just fun to wear a fun hat. You think it's fun. I have two of them. They're fun to wear. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I think that that would probably be a flag. No, that's wrong. How far do you have to go to be a flag?

Well, you need to show up at one of those rallies first of all, but I don't think that's good enough. Well, that's, is that where that guy got his hat, or was it just a guy in a, it was in a water walking down the street. It was in a water, it was in a water burger of all places. Oh. All right.

People are getting confronted everywhere. Yeah. It is mass chaos. We need a system. That's what I'm saying. Let's have a special commemorative hat, like a digital camo hat. That says you're ready to rock.

Okay, a different hat. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And the other side could, I don't know, we're a contra shirt or something. Something, something. We need something. Contra, yeah. Then you can just pull it, anything goes then.

Yeah, do whatever you want. You want to get it out? You show up in that digital KMO head and you sit in your water burger just slapping yourself in the face, whipping yourself into a battle frenzy and then something. Suckin' down mustard, like there was a contest.

Well, let's not talk about that. No, okay. Somebody like the Transformers. That motherfucker comes in with that Decepticon logo bling. You know, you cock sucker. I know. That why they're the cybertron just kicked them all out because they couldn't stop fucking around Yeah, you guys get out of here go to earth. Yeah, fuck we're tired of this shit. Fuck up somebody else's house We need a symbol Mm-hmm both sides need to agree on a symbol. Okay, so we're ready to

Both sides need to agree on a symbol. Okay. So we're ready to fist fight each other and steal hats and do bullshit because now everyone looks like a prick now. Yeah. And we've got to get that fighting out. It's got to be, got to let it out somehow. I think in a lot of cases, a good old fashioned fist fight is a lot healthier than what's going on.

Yeah. Healthier than sliding into, like, Sardonic comedy news. It's just a living cynicism. You know, it's more cynical every day watching these hot takes and congratulating yourself for saying fuck this or fuck, you know, we tell kids not to say it just because they don't understand how they look when they behave in a crash manner. It's not, you don't need to congratulate yourselves

for saying fuck this or fuck that, you assholes. Come on. Grow up. Anyway, I hope that's not politically one-sided, but you never know. No one wants to get their hat grabbed. No. That's what I'm saying. You can put in these, imagine you're sitting there with a woman wearing a fun hat.

Somebody comes and grabs it off of you. Great. What do you supposed to do? Now you have to fucking kill the guy. Yeah. It's a very fine line. Why did you put me in this position? Why did you do this to me? Yeah? Why did you do this to me?

Yeah. Why did you do this to me of making me have to think about shit? Yeah, I was not like a jerk. I was fine with my girl in my hat, and now somebody's dead. I don't know somebody. Needlessly.

We need to borrow that system from the gay men with hanging handkerchiefs or whatever it is that does that. Something that you wouldn't normally do in real life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What else do I got here?

An artificial intelligence can tell if you're gay or not. Oh, yeah. That was interesting. I haven't heard about this. Presented to two pictures. One of a gay person and the other of a straight person, the algorithm was trained to distinguish the two in 81% of cases involving images of men. It's pretty good.

Yeah, human judges, so it was right, 81% of the time of men and 74% of the time with women human judges by contrast were able to identify the straight and gay people in 61 and 54% of cases. So significantly less. When the algorithm was shown five pictures from somebody, it jumped the accuracy increased to 91% for men. Yeah, 83% for women. That's great. Yeah. That's a future of drive by gaying. Yeah, you have a little gun on your iPhone. Just walk by people on the street, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Drive by gang. I thought it was like you drive by in a car to a great, just go, no, it's different. The computer does it now. Yeah. See, it's not us doing it. It's the computer. Yeah.

That's fine. And that's what it, that's why I brought it in because it also said the computer is not another person judging the computer is not racist. It also did things like it identified ethics politics and crime. Like likelihood that someone's gonna commit a crime. And I was thinking as I was reading it like, oh, okay, we already know that facts are, that facts can be sexist, racist, whatever is that they're possibly is, right? We've established that. It's not to suggest that a computer, just an extension of numbers and calculations and basically a thinking stats machine to believe that this is not going to be called rate, to believe that the first artificial intelligence is not going to immediately be called racist, is like being a child. They are going to make this and it's going, whatever the first, the hell 9,000

is going, the Ku Klux Klan is going to carry it around on a day, it's on a raised chair and just have it make, called, judgment calls on everyone. That's so funny because it, it's true. It is. First thing it does, it's, yeah, it's, we've established artificial intelligence. It's raised. It's raised. Oh, now we're gonna spend the next, now our morality engineers are gonna spend spend the next 10 or 20 years trying to try to make it think properly yes. It doesn't care enough

about people stuck in holes. That's what's wrong with the hell 9000. First of all, we need to get it to recognize the importance of being stuck in a hole. Yeah. Yeah. I can't see that ending well. Well, we've developed a computer that can tell if you're gay and if you're going to commit another crime. Oh, all right. Delete that part. Delete that part. Or run it, you know, it's gonna be like the opposite

of Coco, the gorilla. It's gonna be saying something very specific and people are gonna have to... It doesn't know anything. It doesn't know what they didn't mean that. It didn't mean anything. It's like me and that. Well, like, yeah, a bunch of experts are saying it,

and that was exactly what it's saying. No, no, no, no, no, no, nobody's talking about it. Yeah, I thought that was funny. That is funny. I had not heard about that. Cause it's gonna be a, it's gonna be a train wreck. Yeah. As soon as we put it on.

We're gonna start putting a bunch of gay people in prison. This is preemptively. This is, we've got to burn the boomer world down and replace it with shit like this. Okay. Every, you know, no more decorum, no more ties, no more ties make you stupid.

Do you know that? Well, because it cuts off the blood flow, your brain, it makes your brain dumb. It goes around your carotid artery. Yeah, that's boomer shit. I'll bet that's fucking real too. It is real, really? Yes, it's 100% real.

I cannot stand having the top button buttoned or anything that's tight around my neck, man. Oh, drives me insane. I know it makes me dumb. Yeah, you're not getting regular blood flow. You'll be a little dim, won't you? Yeah, that's the boomer world. We're burning it down and we're replacing it

with drive-by gangs. Right. Lied detectors everywhere. Everything's got to have a lie. Every, every, every politician's speech got to have lied detectors all over it. Oh, man. Shouldn't it? Yeah. Well, I mean, the lie detectors will just short circuit in the first five seconds

every time somebody talks. We need this fucking data, Sean Zuckerberg rolled over Congress became the third richest man in the world or whatever he is right now. He single handedly did it. He single handedly did it, kept his job and now we're in a new, that was that, that, that congressional hearing now that I look back on it Zuckerberg versus the Hill was the boomer world being burnt down right before our eyes. Maybe so. That was the boomer world being burnt down right before our eyes. Maybe so.

That was the transition of power. That's gonna be like the Berlin fucking wall for our generation. So that was it. Ah, nope. You guys, you can't even understand it. The peril that you're in, it's coming. The data apocalypse is coming.

Everything's gonna be, ah, I'm getting to, I'm getting to hot and drunk. James Franco made a movie about being stuck in a hole, basically. That's how important. Yeah, 127 hours. Oh, that was him. That's how important being stuck in holes is.

Yeah. That's the baseline. That's the most important thing to us is getting stuck in holes. Nothing else. People starving, diphtheria, malaria, to us is getting stuck in holes. Nothing else. People starving, dip theory, malaria, whatever it is, all nuclear war, being stuck in a hole trumps all of that.

It's because that's something that everyone can relate to. They can are not relate to. They can at least think how terrified they would be. They can imagine, you know, it's like, what are the odds that you or I are gonna get in malaria? No, I mean, pretty low. What are the odds that we're gonna get stuck in a hole? Could be 100%. Yeah, I mean, if you live long enough,

stats say that if you live long enough, everyone will eventually become stuck in a hole. Yeah, that's how everyone dies. If nothing physiologically goes wrong with the whole, everyone eventually will die if stuck in a hole. I don't know why it's so, but so stupid. Yeah. It's like the Peter, it's like the Peter principle for disasters and problems.

Like hurricanes, we don't know how to fix those or respond to them really earthquakes. Don't really know Not enough rain too much rain. No, we can't fix that. Yeah, getting stuck in a hole We can fucking fix it human beings can get us out of holes Cancer no, no, can't don't know that one the common cold No, no, can't, don't know that one. The common cold, we have a lot of like rhymes for that. Yeah, yeah. And a half of our population loves it because they get to make fun

of the other half of the population for acting like babies, even though they're not really acting like babies, they're just sick, you fucking bitch, leave me alone. If you're gonna help, help, but don't make fun of me because I'm tired and like, you know, weak and weakened in this state, right? Right.

Getting stuck in a hole. We can fix that pretty much most of the time. Yeah. All right, let me see if I get a song here. 50% of the time that works all the time. We'll get those people out of a hole. Yeah, we can't make many promises, but we can promise you this. We've got people out of holes before.

Yeah, and we'll do it again. We'll do it again. We just love holes, man. Yeah. This one is, let's see here. This one's called the Stereo Shush. This is an exclusive track. Oh boy.

By Kendall and Hyde, you know, Kendall and Hyde has a Patreon. I love Kendall and Hyde. Patreon, I mean too. I don't know what I love more about him. His execution of his ideas or his ability to just crank them out. Yeah, both. Yeah.

I've been working on this song for Peach since she won the mustard thing. Oh yeah. Yeah. How's it coming? It's coming. won the mustard thing. Oh yeah. Yeah. How's it coming? It's coming. Yeah, all right. It's pretty good.

I can only work on songs when I've drank enough. There's like a golden period. There's like a golden half hour. Oh, golden hour. Gotcha. There's a golden hour of productivity when it comes to making music that I can hit. So you know, you can understand

it's a very expensive process for me physiologically to exist in that period, right? Just gotta touch it. And then either the sun sets or it gets very drunk, but yeah, either way, this is a stereo shush. Won't be available on the website it's only available at patreon dot com slash candle and i'll be damned uh...

sorry uh... you can only see in the city of failure consume more green uh... by the sailor. You have green burger on permanent retainer. You have fans and haters from Greenland to Australia. 10 pounds of your fight is gormat yogurt, please. It's a business expect so I'll meet by receipt.

And you tell the cashier about your Patreon. Sign up today! Catch a lift. Take me to the bunker, James! Little dick, little dick, let me in! I need to wreck your toilet with a massive shit! And let me use your bunk for some fantastic hints! Then take me to a strip club and I'll shark some chicks!

Now it's time to buy a dance for your sweet little honey But you can be in the leafer gone to bring your Patreon money! I can pay! Peach Terrors out for cider for mouth! Why aren't you going with it? I'm too tired, you pout! Now it's back to the bunker cause it's come to relax! Raid the fridge, it's okay, you always think for the snacks.

Terrible, through the freaking kitchen like Tasmanian devil. Spill your cranberry juice, but you don't clean it, you rebel. There's this quench, now it's time to really get to the munch-in. Jack, what you find a hole, bucks a bolt, captain crunch-in. At snail, it's buck, but still you shred the roof of your mouth. Lick your fingers, drop your spoken burr, and a hole in the couch. Now it's time to pass out, you need your rest herd of morrow. Gonna eat up all the airtime

You can bake steel a borrower You can't stop You're gonna be out in the bed with dishes of the double-bought drowning to death In your hand Mysterio Shush Mysterios Shush

Asterios Shush Asterios Shush Asterios Shush Asterios Shush

We love our Greek and most when he's not talking too much We can bake mix up with drink and head downstairs and do your mic Chatting back and whisper quiet so shunt up to levels T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t- Oh, this is gonna hurt, man. Oh, wonderful bastard. It's like when Nostda did Jay Z. That's not bad. Yeah. Full-time shit, poster for Patreon. Fuck. Job hunting, fucking lime, and you have no choice. And your greatest strength.

I'd have to say my inside voice. In-voice, dick for eggnog over all things. Scary. Your lemmings have your back, you make our... Huff, my sparrie. Yeah. Yeah. Scary.

My dollus gets you access to the dictionary. Mysterio. Shush. Mysterio? Shush. Mysterio? Shush. Mysterio. Shush. Mysterio. Shush.

Mysterio. We love our Greek the most when he's not talking too much. Here's what people tell me though. Mysterio. Shush. Because the thing is like... A stereo. Shush.

But like, like, like, like... Mysterio. Shush. Her head lives boobs. Mysterio. Shush. Sorry, I'm real fucked up. Mysterio. Shush. Her hitler's boobs. A stereo shush. I'm sorry, I'm real fucked up. A stereo shush. A stereo shush.

Wait, what? A stereo shush. Block story short, it's like stereo shush. $600 for yogurt. I can help it, baby. What are you gonna do? Anyway. Bye, bye.

Oh, very good. Thanks for getting down on that. He eased into it and then let it go. Yeah, I didn't really let it go. He eased into it and then let it go. Yeah. And then he really let it go. I only listened to the first, not my fault. Yeah, that's your whole thing. I listened to a little bit so the reaction

will be genuine, but oh, well. Sirius is doing all right. He's got to be amped up for this action now. Come on. Yeah. It's got to be. Who wouldn't be? It's right there.

It's right there ready to be snapped off It's right fucking there the mead guy from breaking brew meteries on let me let me do a let me do a quick hi Oh boy, hey mead man Hey, what's up buddy? Hey, what's going on? So you heard about the disasters with your time bombs? Yeah, my assassination attempt on Sean failed. I'm gonna have to try again. You hit coach instead.

You took out coach's shirt with another one. Yeah, yeah. What happened? Why did the beans explode? Man, I don't know. I mean, I got my balls busted up one side and down the other all week this week. It's been nothing but ball busting.

I'm gonna explode it. Maybe a temperature thing. Does that have anything to do with it? I mean, these things sat at room temperature in my in my warehouse. No problem. They took three car rides. No problem. Yeah. I think the problem was when Pete showed up with that dress. Oh, they just went off prematurely. Oh, it was fine until then. Yeah. Thing to me is jizzed all over themselves. You know, it's not even got on her. went off prematurely. All of you were fine until then. Yeah. Thing the meads gizzed all over themselves. Oh, you know.

And it's none of the even guide on her. That's what happened to my mustard. Yeah. Now I was on stage shooting into my mouth. Right. Anyway, are you are you doing another run? This is the breaking brew metery, right? In the.

Yeah. Where in Texas are you? Farmer's branch. We're kind of North Dallas. One of those tiny towns that existed before Dallas swallowed it. Yeah, we're gonna be opening soon and I am doing another 20 million other me plan on doing one every year. But they are very expensive to make so they're gonna be limited. What a bad yeah me. Oh, no, that was the worst thing like everyone that that exploded I was like it was like I am it was like Watching a child die because it was had my face on it's like no Get put it back in drink it quickly. It's not the same

Yeah, everyone that was just I don't know They could have been anything But bunch of the guys only on the wine forms were busted my balls about Boddling it too early or something like that and they're probably right. Yeah, well I guess take pleasure in like you know what I was saying at the beginning of the show. It's it's Feels really terrific to criticize other people when things go wrong. Yeah, it's something you're giving to everybody Yeah, yeah I got a little bit of that too a little bit of that I think it's something you're giving to everybody. Yeah, yeah.

I got a little bit of that too, a little bit of that. Everybody got some chuckles out of it, so it was kind of worth it. So, you don't realize how much money that goes. Ah, now you've made mead before. Here he goes with the GoFundMe. You've made mead before, I would assume, and bottled it, and you haven't had this happen before, or is this the first round of meat?

No, I've been doing this kind of stuff for 15 years now. This is the first time it's ever exploded. Wow. I'm holding your breaking brew metery that you guys sent a while ago, this glass, this Yeti glass. Oh yeah. It's Tumblr, that's cool.

If you don't have like a reliable Yeti Tumblr, it'll change your life. No condensation, you can take it in the car without fucking around. That's pretty great. It won't make marks on a wood table. It doesn't, of course not. It's not steel. It's incredible.

So, this is a dumb question, but the only thing I know about meat is that it's from Dungeons and Dragons and Orcs and shit like that. It was the first beer that we had as people, right? Yeah, yeah, it was one of the first drinks that was ever discovered and you can read all about that if you want, it's real boring. All that matters is somebody found some liquor and they kept doing it.

And it's all fruit, it's fruit based. I mean, it's like honey, right? Yeah, honey in raspberry was it the? Yeah, that was the one that I made. Me by itself is just honey. And it was originally going to be just honey. There's a special variety that is out there that's perfect for making it. I thought, man, this would be great. You can't get it. It's almost impossible to get this stuff. I got maybe two pounds of it and it costed a lot of money. No shit, wow.

That's such a great kind of head to go on the fly on that one. That'd be such a great lifestyle to get into. I always just sink your whole life into like, because it would take that, right? To get good at brewing beer. I mean, I would think so. I think it's such a great hobby.

Yeah, a lot of research, a lot of experimenting, a lot of trial and error. Yeah, and it's a great excuse to drink. Yeah. And anything that glorifies drinking with things like that. It's like a real craft, you know. Yeah. How'd you get into it?

You were in, so I made some mischief when I was younger. Uh-huh. What does that mean? Pimping. No, no, no. I made some mischief when I was younger. What does that mean? Pimping? No, no, no. Brewing it in secret. Yeah, yeah. A little bit of moonshine.

Country was built by moonshiners. Absolutely. Certainly. I started brewing beer for a while and I did meet as like a seasonal, like a once-a-year thing. What's going to start the brewery, but breweries are incredibly expensive. It cost me $100,000 in equipment loan. Yeah.

Wow, but not with me? No, the process is it's similar, but it's different enough. I'm not under like FDA regulations. Oh. You don't have to ask the big, giant stainless steel stuff that beer requires. Wow, looks good. The stuff I had was really good.

We're not gonna bust your balls anymore. What makes you a rage, man? Fumbling the ball at the goal line. Really makes me a rage. All the time and effort and planning and it may be this would be so cool to get this stuff done and then right at the end for face plan. Well, new butt Sanchez. It made at least it made for a great, you know, 15 seconds of hilarity when it happened to me. Oh, yeah. I you never see Sean fuck up like that. Yeah, where,

well, and it looked, it looked like I must have done something. Yeah. Because you tried see Sean fuck up like that. Yeah, where, well, and it looked, it looked like I must have done something. Yeah, because Sean tried to put the bottle back in and try to like, I knew it was coming out. There was nothing I could do, so I figured I'd have my thumb on it. Hey, look, I still got a bottle. So fuck everyone else.

Yeah, yours made it. And I think, well, I think probably the majority of them are probably okay, right? Yeah, unless I don't know, I haven't checked, you know, online or anything to say, yeah, mine blew up or... Well, I got mine and I can't wait to drink it. I'm gonna let it sit there for like a year and then get into it. Yeah, it just needs to sit for a little bit.

But the new one, the next year's edition, will be ready to go right away. It's already, everybody made it and it's already sitting and getting ready to go. Are you gonna ship it? Can you, are like, can order it or are you going to bring it to a show? How does that work? I haven't figured that out yet. There's some legal stuff that I have to do before I can do online orders and stuff like that. He doesn't want to bring it to a show because he doesn't want to just set money on fire. Yeah, I would rather not do that. I figured just having some way, some kind of contest or multiple contests throughout the year and just give a bottle away. I don't know.

Let me ask you, because I actually, I'm legitimately interested in this kind of stuff. I always like to find out about that. No, me too. I made the difference. I made the difference. I made the difference. I made the difference. I made the difference.

I made the difference. I made the difference. I made the difference. I made the difference. I made the difference. was the different time with coach. Yeah, his dad had like a bunch of gigantic, and it's cool first of all, because there's all this equipment that is so, that is a so precisely build, like these giant glass five gallon jars and all these funnels, and it feels like a science experiment. Yeah.

And you sit there all day measuring stuff, like you go to a store that looks like a sweet factory, except it's all hops. Yeah, nice varietals. And you go some of this and some of this. Yeah. It seems so fun, but then we got halfway into making it. I got too drunk.

I passed out in the couch and then six weeks later, I asked Coach how the beer was doing. He said he drank it all. Oh, okay. Well, they drank five gallons of our beer. All right. Yeah. Yeah. But my question was, why would some need to sit in the bottle for a year and others, you know, the other is ready to drink right away? The other will be ready to drink right away because I'm already aging it.

I said he made it. So it needs to be aged. It's just whether it's in the bottle or whether it's it's in the what still or however you. Yeah, it's I've got it right now. It's in a a little six gallon tank. So it's it's in a refrigerated area so it can you know, ferment properly. It'll be ready to go because I'm not releasing that until next June. Got it. No, there we go. Well, it couldn't have gone better. We're talking about it. Yeah, we're talking about it I was we got a lot of laughs out of it at least and I still got my bottle Thank you. Thank you so much for making it and bottling it Absolutely, I do feel bad about Go ahead. I was just gonna say I love the show and all the all the laughs that I get while making the stuff

So wanted to share it No, it was very cool. Thanks for bringing it. And I do feel bad about dumping it all over the floor. I don't talk about it. It was the only thing I was panicking. It was the only thing I could do. It was shooting out all over everything.

And I put it between my legs and dumped, but I dumped about half of it out before it calmed down. I mean, you understand, like I, I, I am around children regularly, my own flesh and blood children who are about to hurt themselves all the time. And I was never as afraid of something being lost as I was this me that was spilling over the, like, I've watched the kids trip over a rock and bass their shit up and I go, yeah, have a, have a nice trip.

See you next fall. But this was like, oh yeah, have a nice trip, see you next fall. But this was like, no! I remember it shooting everywhere. I remember Jamie screaming and dick laughing. That's my coping mechanism. Yeah, yeah. When I'm afraid. All right, buddy.

Thank you again. See you at the next show. Bye. Let's see who we got on here. Oh, I see it in this beer. Is it any cooler here? It's hotter, it's hotter. I'm gonna get, I'm gonna get Dome Paisos in here.

Yeah, you know who he is. Dome Paisos means like give me pace of me. Give me my name, yeah, give me my pace of me. Let me see him. Hey, are you there? Dummy Pace those? Hello. Yeah, there you are. Are you here me?

Yeah. So, are you? Hi, she won. Yeah, what's up, buddy? How you doing? Dummy Pace also has a problem with Monday and Matt. Oh, he does. Yeah, he does.

He's, well, you tell us what happened to you, dummy pesos. So I made a video making fan of Monday, Matt. One video, one, he gets tweeted by Mr. Metaker. Monday, Matt follows Mr. Metaker on Twitter. He gets flagged immediately, immediately. So I pussy, but I'll fight it. He could not take my banter like a fuck. Can I say that by the way? I mean, I can't stop you. I'm not sure. I can't.

He's got a little accent. I'm not sure he's saying anything bad. Yeah. It's a pre-country in Mexico where you are. I think you can say whatever you want. I mean, I personally never speak like that. So, but I'm not one to tell other people how to talk. So you've got, look,

I don't know if everybody's seen this video. I've watched it probably 2,000 times. It's so fucking funny. 80s girl and I quote it to each other all the time. Oh, Monday met flag this poor guy's channel and you now you had the the the the young Turks meltdown video, right? Yeah. Did you see that? Oh my, the whole internet saw it. Doesn't it have like 30 million views or something like that? Yes. Yeah. So to drive it. I would hate by the way. What's that? The young Turks. They keep mentioning the those all writers that do those election meltdowns. So Dominic Hayes, after the election, he made a compilation of the young Turks, like progression

from extreme optimism through the Hillary's loss and like the following depression and hardering and turn in bickering and I like just just the just the general generally sour attitudes of the bunch and it's got I'm trying to find it right now but it's got like 30 million views or something like that. I'm gonna find that one first and then I'm gonna play this soilist man episode. Yeah here it is. Three three point three million views. Sean I know you've seen this video. I'm glad favorites. Thank us. Thank you, John Eirol, and Ike Asperian.

I will be yelling throughout the day. I was eating breakfast with my kids this morning before I went to go to a boat. You're happy, man. They're both so excited at the idea that a girl could be present. The idea of Donald Trump beating the person who could be the first female president. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's getting worse than that.

That's right. And as I was waiting in line, there were two older white guys. They're behind me. And in the span of five minutes, they badmouth Latinos, and very transparently, badmouth Latinos, Muslims and black people. And I just want people to wear the words. Turn around. Okay, here we go.

Here's where it begins. We wouldn't have experienced that before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it hit him in the face. So here's where the winning began. They're all bad news. People start with Kentucky because we don't care. 73, 25, 12. Okay, have Kentucky. Who cares? They're all bad news. Could we start with Kentucky? Cause we don't care. 73.25.

Okay, have Kentucky. Who cares? Second, we don't care about Indiana. Indiana. Don't care. 69.20. New Hampshire. New Brits.

New Brits. Less than one percent. I'm sorry. That one actually not less than one percent. That one percent. Where does it damage pesos? Where does it give back? Pretty long, right?

Yeah, it's very long. It's very funny, but it's very... That's what. Yeah, it I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is, but I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is, but I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is, but I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is, but I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is, but I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is, but I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is, but I don't know what that is, but I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is, but I don't know what that is, but I don't know what that is.

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gay marriage in 2013, who was last on the bandwagon. Yeah. That progressive. Yeah, that progressive. We got to watch it, though, if she gets, if Hillary gets stuck in a hole for 2020, we have all cameras on her. Landslide.

Landslide victory. Okay. I mean, from her getting stuck in the hole, but oh, oh, I see the landslide. This one. Um, in fact, this one, your solace mat videos are so funny, but I don't know which ones to play. Play the latest one. The latest one.

Okay. And with YouTube demonetizing independent media, please consider installing fucking that block. Monday in the mat got my YouTube and Twitter flat. So I'm still in his stick and I'll do it better. No soy, no fat, no filler. my youtube and twitter flag so I'm still in his stick and I'll do it better no soy no fat no filler. My name is a fat soy soaked penisless abomination who cries over YouTube form letters. You know I feel like I should have done that. I got a brother show about

me. He falls flagged. I think that was him. He doesn't have a penis. He's got a brother show about me son of a bitch. He false flags. I think that was a time he doesn't have a penis. He's got a What's going on full of joy and hurt feelings? I think he's bad sack of shit who Someone's playing it. I have So I was through the it was through the you know the TTS Yeah, audio in yeah, yeah. That was interesting. Yeah. That was like, why is Dick Masterson on the show all of a sudden?

That's pretty funny. I got weird. To address the point of getting a real job, I put it a job application to be an assistant manager at a hotel. So I just remember, it was a big head. How in the fuck am I going to be a dad? My biggest fear is that I'm not going to feel anything towards the child. Monday Matt can't have sex as belly gets in the way. I think he's a fat sack of shit.

Matt is a rat. He falls flat people all the time. Monday Matt is a fat faggot. Damn. Monday Matt is not pleased No, I was trying to hear it. I don't give a shit with dick masters instead about me. So Maddox lost Cool man, I'm don't care My name is girl friend gets fuck in the ass by y'all and I G

Yeah, it's the show that's quickly becoming most popular show on YouTube the fissures Monday in Mad In our first news of the day I may take masters until black people to go fuck themselves Luis period. All right. All right. All right. TIGG. E R Yes. Yes. Yes. yes. There was a close. You know what? You know what my name had said after the last show. What? He wanted to have a conversation on air, but he wanted to have a private conversation

first. He wanted to have a phone call first. And he told me that on the show, when he said, he doesn't care about what I have to say, and then you should talk to Maddox and you learn some things. That was just a joke that fell flat. He was kidding, Sean. Yeah. He was kidding.

He was kidding. I joke, joke, joke. It was a joke that didn't go as he like you thought it would. I don't know. So all these jokes, I've seen that kind of reaction before. Yeah. But looking like you're, like you just shit in your pants, like a hobbit from the Lord of the Rings looking like you have to save face

With any means possible. Yeah, looking down down into the left. Yeah, like a dog like a beaten dog So that's whatever that's what people look like when they're joking around. That's where all the hot that's where all the hot jokes come in All right, Damai, I'm sorry, I'm having a... Can he also say, go ahead. Can he also say that you are just pretending to be angry at him? Yeah, that's...

That's the other thing that annoyed me. A said he didn't want for anyone to have to feel like they needed to perform by talking to public. Gotcha. What do you think I'm not like this on private calls that are not being recorded? There's a number of words that are left off of my vocabulary because the general public

is watching it. Don't worry. Yeah, when it's in private, there's no holds barred. Right. And that's the only difference between this show and anywhere else. I'm this. I'm like this.

Genuinely like this in real life. There's no fucking performance or character. This is how it's like on a private fucking call. Yep. Anyway, I'll call you with a customer service lady from Apple at one point. Oh, but you have that. Right. It's long down.

Yeah, you want to know what I'm like in my private life. I recorded for some reason. I just got a zoom and I put it on record when I had a private conversation. Okay. Episode one of the DIC show. It was a, we had like a 24 hour countdown for the show. Yeah, for when the first show was gonna be like, this is, it was just a page, the dickshow.com,

and there was a 24 hour counter on it. And when the 24 hour counter expired, it linked to the Patreon, and then that was when we launched the first episode, wasn't it? Yeah, it was around that time. Yeah. And the first episode was put together in like, in like a day, I think, because it was right after, it was right after Maddox said the show is dead.

Yeah. That's going to be the last one. I was like, well, wouldn't it be cool if I got a new show up like the very next Tuesday? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be fun at least. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. And it had been three or four weeks.

I was itching to talk about something. Like I didn't talk about stuff every week. There it right. Yeah. And it had been three or four weeks. I was itching to talk about something. Like I told you, because they were talking about stuff every week. But I got those. Yeah. Get the shirmin, right? Yeah. So Sean was, little did I know that Maddox

was similarly working on a competing program. Oh yeah. At the same time, I didn't know anything about that. Yeah. So I call up Sean and I called up Allegra, cause her and I hang out a lot back then. We don't know. Yeah, right.

Allegra was the first guest on there. Yeah. We haven't hung out since the rapeless video, I don't think. Really. So I called her up, we go to my apartment and I recorded that whole thing standing up with a microphone on a boom. Like that was, remember, do you remember the first episode we recorded?

There was absolutely no concept of what the show was gonna be or how to possibly maintain people's attention for, for 10 minutes, let alone an hour, two hour, three hours. We had a pretty normal record set up, I thought. No, I was standing up the whole time. It was in my apartment. I didn't have shit in that apartment. Yeah, I had a bunch of other coaches.

Well, then there were a couple chairs or whatever. She was sitting in a chair. I was sitting there. She sat in my leather love seat, sitting there, which is basically, would you basically have to lay down to sit in as is designed for women to sit in it. Yeah. So they think they're in bed, right?

Yeah. We used some equipment that I happened to have lying around. I think Sean sat in the bat. You sat on like, I think you sat on the toilet. Yeah. It was the only chair I had in the house. Possibly. Yeah. And I started writing a thing about Mexico, which you know what,

you knew what I was talking about, dummy pesos. Right? You're from Mexico. You're in Mexico. Of course. Yeah. So. Maybe that's your. Of course. Yeah. So, yeah. So, um, so we record the episode. You edit it. Uh, that Sean edits it that night. Send it to me. I launched the Patreon. I just turn everything on.

I was like, this is, this is the whole system. The stupid, the voting system that nobody gives a fuck about anyway, that it's that. It exists so people can plug their stuff. It's a fun silly voting system that means nothing. Anyway, all of that goes up. All of that goes up. Episode, the episode launches at noon, I think, on Tuesday. That's when everything went live. And Patreon was like 400 bucks or something like that.

Episode goes live. I go out, I go to have a couple beers with 80s girl. And when we got back, we were out for like an hour, reading the, just reading the comments and dicking around downtown. When we got back like an hour later, my grandpa died. Yeah, right. Uh-huh. It was terrible. Yeah. It was very devastating. He was he'd been going out for he'd been on his way out for 20 years.

Yeah, he was he was an old guy when he was probably close to 90, right? Yeah, he'd been prepping everybody for it for 20, 30, ever since I knew him, you've been talking about how he's not gonna be around next Christmas. Yeah. Cause he was working on one lung, but that he lost to smoke, he picked up smoking, he was 14, he went to World War II, I think, I think is the story.

That's when so many of him did. He picked up smoking and the trenches, he was so bored. Like, he gave you free cigarettes. Yeah. And it was the only thing to kill the time or he was in France or something like that, probably banging French hos. I hope.

He died. Uh-huh. Then, and, ah, man. I was very upset by it. Went to the funeral, happened right away. We went to do a comeback, and, and, and, funny enough, he didn't have enough Paul Bears, so I almost sent out a request

to get some army guys, to listen to the show, to come out and go, Oh, well, because, fuck man, you gotta get, those motherfuckers are happy. Oh, yeah. The, he had, one thing I was, during the, he had, um, one thing I was, during the, yeah, we go to the funeral and they wanted me to play amazing grace. Yeah.

This is the only song. It was like the only song that he liked. It was the only, it was the only hymnal that he liked. Yeah. It wasn't a religious. You were going to play piano. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm

drinking a bone up on amazing grace. Actually, practice it for once in my life. Sure. Like, well, I don't, I really don't want to fuck this up. Um, the guys do the folding the American flag thing at the funeral, which you watch these, Have you ever tried to roll a sleeping bag? Yeah, it's Sean. You imagine trying to roll a sleeping bag in front of a processional of grieving family members. You gotta roll that motherfucker in, no, like no sleeping bags spitting out one side of the other.

You gotta get it, roll it up once, keep it tight, then right into the bag, right? That's what these guys are doing, except what I'm watching these guys, these military guys, maybe 19, 20, folding this American flag with such precision, knowing that each fold is like, oh man, it's getting a little squirrely on that side.

You can't undo it, you can't back it out. No, that looks terrible. It looks terrible. Just get a new one. It's like not being able to parallel park. Again, except every then. Everyone is embarrassed for you. Yeah, so I'm watching them fold this fucking thing up.

Anyway, the one thing, the one thing that I, I don't wanna say got, but a couple of years before this, I got my grandpa and iPad, so he could talk to my mom over FaceTime. Yeah, I wanted, I won the iPad, so I said here, just take it, just give it to your dad and you guys can do FaceTime. Sure, you know, and they did, it was great.

He used it all the time. So I took the iPad back. Yeah, it wasn't a big deal, right? Right, get the iPad back. And I get back to California, fire it up, try to turn it on. It's like, no, it's your locked out. I go, okay, I'll reformat it, reformat it, go through the thing.

No, you're locked out. You need the password, you need the fingerprint, whatever you need. It's like, okay, this is no problem. Call up, I call it, I spent 40 minutes. Oh yeah, it was Apple tech support, Okay, this is no problem. Call up, I call it, I spent 40 minutes. Oh yeah, it was Apple tech support, screaming at them for how to get this fucking iPad on,

like they're wanting paperwork and they're wanting paperwork and court decrees that far exceed the value of a $100 jack-off emailing toy. Right? Yeah. Like the security that they're expecting me to provide, the details was obscene to me. I recorded the entire thing, just trying to think you know, just try this thing out for fun. Yeah, yeah.

But I don't know, maybe I'll put it up. Yeah, it was dick. It's all I am, without the, yeah. It was, yeah, it's a good illustration of that. Right, without the constraints of the show. Yeah, without the constraints of the show. All right, Tommy Pacers, I gotta play, I gotta play one of you from this thing from your last video.

I'm gonna start it like 8 minutes, is that okay? Yes. Yeah, okay, here you go. Right, Maddoxie, front of everyone and take all of his manual to light elevens. Depending on how that goes, there could also be ascension hearings because all the lawyers of all the people of a Maddox suit are asking the court to sanction Maddox and his lawyer. If Maddox somehow doesn't lose all his money or goes to jail or kills himself after that, Stereo's coconut, the guy who got fired because of his retarded lawsuit is preparing a counter suit.

He's even asking people on the internet money so they can pay for it. Next, this acting card is not an point point. But a member of Parliament of the United Kingdom, she has gotten herself in trouble recently for adding this to her standard email auto reply. Emails which are abusive, threatening, distressing or which may or could amount to harassment will be disclosed to the police, a relevant regulator. Characment may be reported to the police. Oh no, soy gone, no! It's the beginning of Sarcon, he recently joined. The madman has fucking done it, so I've decided I'm gonna be joining you, Kib-Too.

It wasn't even he say B.E.K. is ripping off, thank you, Lab. Because fuck, the way things are going. Fuck, that something has to be done. I don't wanna be doing this. I've decided that as a Trumpian protest fuck you to everyone. Drop a test, you funny polster. I'm joining you, kid, as well. And if you've got a problem with it,

the drugs, even though it wasn't very tension, almost saved soy gone from public. Recizination. Recizination. You keep an email with a link to soy soy racist and rants. Stop it, stop it, follow me. Maybe I just actually like a nigga. You didn't wipe it off like this.

This part definitely has to get finished. I'm sure it will, and I really don't care. Initially, you keep said they wouldn't allow soy or acid to join. You get the idea, you get the idea, right, Sean? I do. Yeah, you get the idea. Yes.

Dome of Paces, what the hell, what is your story? How do you end up in this spot? I like making fun of people. Yeah. Making fun of people is the greatest, chatevere. But in my life, I stopped having people worth bullying after high school. So there's an empty space in my heart.

Or in my heart, people sat there and ate. And it was feels. Ah, that think I made a deal. For feels. Oh, that only there's a hole in his heart that cannot be filled by a real person. Yeah, you need bullying. Yeah, you need bullying. We need it. You gotta shove someone down that hole.

We need it. That's the only way to stop bullying is to just make one thing that everybody can bully. Okay. What makes you a rage, man? Liberals that use trigger, they always, whenever people call them, you know, homosexuals in a colorful way, they are like, are you trigger? Are you trigger?

Why are you triggered? Is that why you're calling me a fat faggot? Because you're a trigger. Oh boy, stop shit. They're ruining the joke. It's a funny joke because they get triggered all the time. If other people got triggered, it still would be funny. But they get triggered.

Well listen, the pro-beger. You had to make fun of their weight. That's why they're upset. They've taken enough There's a lot of Mexicans who support Trump, I guess Now weird Well, who's your next who's your next target, I guess, of your iron? Who knows? I have to get to know if you know about the high.

No, you start making content for the old right. And now he's afraid of being offensive. There's a fundamental break down there. The young Turks have a new troll group where they sent them afraid of being offensive. There's a fundamental break down there. The Yanturks have a new troll group where they send them to comment on New York Time articles about the Yanturks and how if they just watch a Yanturks video

they will understand the truth of progressivism. Yeah. Funny. I just realized. I just realized that this is Diego. Right? All right, hold on. No, no, no, no, no. Stick around. I'm going to read some advice, request for advice,

Don May Pesas. I want to hear what you have to say about these guys. The seven fingered machinist writes in, oh boy. Hey, Dick, don't mention my name on the show, but my name it and then he gives his name. I've been listening to your show all year. It helped me to keep my sanity when I worked at UPS,

even now at my job with Beretta, the Firearms manufacturer. I've listened every episode to catch up with the show and I can't begin to tell you how great it's been anyway. I'm a 22 my job with Beretta, the Firearms manufacturer. I've listened every episode to catch up with the show, and I can't begin to tell you how great it's been anyway. I'm a 22 year old guy who's missing some fingers on one hand and a club foot, both on my right side. So he's got some problems, Sean. I've never let my disabilities become obstacles for me

in life, except when it comes to me. He laughs at the guy. You think that's funny, dumb assos? No, they wouldn't ever laugh. You can mix up in those cartels down there. You may be missing some digits. Except when it comes to women, when I was younger, it demoralized me because I figured why would any chick go for me when they could get a guy who's normal?

So I never really tried. I dated a girl in college, but that didn't go well either. She approached me, though I will admit, I did flirt with her a bit. We dated for less than a year. Within that year, we tried to do a long distance thing, but she moved away to be an ESL. Oh. ESL? Is that like a teacher? I don't know. She English is a second language. English is a second language. That's what I think. Is that something else?

I don't know. She cheated on me, married the guy and has a kid with him. Real life that girl. It's almost three years ago. With my new job, I hardly have any time to go out and meet ladies in my area except on Sundays. I'm financially stable and want to try and find a girl to settle down with, but have no clue where to start because my dumbass

never tried in the first place. Do I act myself and practically ignore my disabilities aside from when I make jokes about them? I don't know, would that work? Yes. Yeah, well, it's a common thing to, you know, the fat guy makes fun of himself. Yeah, I mean, the chicks like that though.

I think, remember chicks like that, though? I think, remember chicks, chicks like self-deprecating, as long as they don't think you really, longer they don't think you really feel that way about yourself. Aiden Paladin said it's gotta be self-affirming jokes. Yeah, okay. Well, yeah, it's, I get that.

Yeah. No, girls want a guy who they think feels really confident about themselves. There's nothing wrong with a little self-effacing humor, but do I play the pity card? I'm really at a loss. No. No.

No. You don't think so? No, no. You're not gonna get the woman you want playing a pity card. I just don't think that's gonna work. Do you hold that? You get your two fingered hand out,

get your dong out and present it like you're cradling a baby. Oh boy. So think a fucking T-Rex is trying to jack off. You don't, I watched a guy with cerebral palsy, I think, tried to jack off at a comedy show. He was doing it to be funny. Really? Yeah, I was very uncomfortable.

Yeah. Do I play the pity card? I'm really at a loss of what to do at this point. I'm afraid if I don't find a girl soon, the pickings won't be too good in the future. That's absolutely true. If you don't get them by the time they're 22, not as well. I'm afraid if I don't find a good, the pick is gonna be too good in the future.

And I'm hopefully being in the position to start a fan. Wow, it's already got to start a family. 22. Yeah, I mean, I think he has more time than he thinks, but not as much time as a lot of people think. Yeah. I got a picture of his seven fingers. Maybe this will help.

Look at that, shit. Oh wow, how about that? Oh, so it's okay. So he's got a, of his seven fingers. Maybe this will help. Look at that, shit. Oh, wow. How about that? Oh, so it's okay. So he's got a, I'm gonna go down the stream right now. I can't see clearly, is it, it's a pinky and a thumb?

Basically. I think that's two thumbs. I think he's got a thumb on both sides. Like a gonzo fist. Oh, no, no, no. It's like a, it's his index finger, right? And kind of a pinky. Yeah.

Let me see here. I was looking at it sideways. There we go. So I'm guessing that's probably from birth. I don't know, looks like it's from birth. What do you do? Man, I think you gotta go, I think you gotta go full Asian broad

with this, if you've got some kind of a deformity like this or a superformity, we're not, what do we are we called exceptional formity. What's the polite way to describe a differently, different, different, different, different digital person? I think you go Asian, full Asian broad. You know what I'm talking about? Okay.

I want to know why. Every single Asian chick will tell you how they don't date guys who like Asian chicks. Oh. You know what I mean? Every single one. will tell you how they don't date guys who like Asian chicks. You know what I mean? Every single one, and every single time they tell me, it drives me insane. Like, oh, I don't take guys that like Asian girls. Why?

You wanna start in the hole? Yeah. Why not? Start with somebody who's never gonna get sick and you sexually. This is the, you're taking oil and just flushing it down the fucking toilet. You struck gold. Right.

You're taking, yeah. You're talking off the guys who will do their best. Right. I thought you broads were supposed to be the smart ones of all the IQ of all the women collected. What are you talking about? Why it's too easy then? Because they don't want a guy who only likes them

because they're Asian. I don't even know where to start with that. Like the fundamental misunderstanding about why people think anybody likes them. Like look, we're trying to, I'm trying to build a case at all times why I like you. Help me out here. Give me everything you got.

Because as much as you're giving me on one side you're taking it away on the other and I'm doing the same fucking thing because it's nearly impossible to be around anybody for an extended amount of time. That's why we made a bunch of laws so you have to so you have to sign on a document that says you'll do it because it's so fucking hard. We have the full force of the US government to enforce this. It still doesn't work half the time.

That's how hard it is. Give them, start, you got God blessed you with a, for some reason, with some physical feature that is gonna get your foot and that will keep your foot in the door forever, that will keep your tiny bound foot in the door forever. Take it and your tiny bound foot in the door forever. Take it and fucking take it and don't wear it like a badge of honor that you refused it constantly.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, it just seems like a dumb thing to be proud of, doesn't it? So fucking drives me insane. Every single Asian chick that says, I don't take guys to like Asian chicks. Why?

Well, what else are you throwing away? Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah, the woman ever tells me, she doesn't date a loudmouth, drunk, opinionated, blowviating, sweaty Mexicans. I say, you hit the door. I want to stuff, everything's equal. I want to hit, it's the sexual socialism of Asian women makes me very, but this is,

this guy's got to go full Asian, where he's got to find chicks who are into weird, weird, some weird shit. I see. Right. She doesn't have to be Asian. No. It's just, it's the idea. It's, he's, he's the Asian girl.

Yes. There's, I know enough about people to know that there's gonna be certain amounts of them that are very turned on by the stump, by the stump where you're saying. There's a fetish for everything. Not even a fetish. Just like a, yeah, maybe a fetish.

I mean, okay, or, you know, yeah. Yeah, you gotta, you to at least start there. Okay. Give it a shot. Maybe throw a Michael Jackson glove on that hand. When you're going out, a Thanos glove, right? Why are you wearing that glove? You pull them out.

Why are you wearing that glove? Bam, check it out. That's my advice. It's as good a place to start as any. Yeah, give it a shot. Yeah, also by the makeup works for a stereo By the makeup works for stereo Keep a glove push put a glove on it. You know, I don't know man It was that can form that kind of shit can really form a

Big part of your personality. Yeah, if you think about it like that you're not a whole person or something, I can imagine that would be incredibly intimidating to talk to women and stuff. You know what I mean? But like he said, he's made it a point not to let that, let that keep him from from doing things or trying things. So except for, except for with women. But, you know, every time I've had my hand in a cast,

I have felt totally worthless. Yeah, okay. Every time I've been at a bar and had my hand in a cast, and like, God, there's no. But I'm sure he can do things pretty well. He's had it his whole life. So he's totally in my head. Yeah, okay.

Whatever you think about your body, body women are thinking 10 worst things, I guess, is the about their body. Yes, yes. Let's see here. Hey, Dick, I'm going to need a dick tip. I'm interested in this girl I've known for quite a few years now. She's conventionally unattractive. Okay. But that's fine because I am as well. Ah, too, too right off the bat. She has a rocking body with decent cans, and we also get along pretty well. So that's conventionally attractive. What people would call, say,

probably butterflies. Butterfaces, yeah. Have you ever dated a butterflies? No, I don't think so. You can't tell. That's the point of a blood or face. Well, I mean, there are some women who you think, who you may think are attractive,

and you may say, well, they're not, they're not like seriously attractive in the traditional sense, but there's something from certain angles or something, it's like two-face and sign--filled kind of. Yeah, I feel that way about... They had it with lighting, I think, but I feel that way about like, transsexuals as well. They could always squeeze a couple good shots out. And that's where the debate comes from.

Gotcha. Yeah. Like, oh, look at this, this transsexual is hotter than this real woman. What do you think? Well, let's see the live version of that. Let's see the video. Yeah. And then ask me again, if it's not a guy, right?

Right. Just one man's opinion. She has a rocking body. We get along pretty well. I'm fairly sure she is interested, of course she is. The last time we hung out, she was asking me why I was a Trump supporter, because she wanted conversation pointers for this guy.

She was interested in, it didn't occur to me until much later than I'm the only Trump supporter she knows. How do I get this girl without fucking things up? Thanks. Oops, PS don't read my real name on the air. Go fuck yourself. All right, here's the thing of not fucking things up. Things are gonna be fucked up regardless. Everybody, everybody you know, All right, here's the thing, if not fucking things up. Things are gonna be fucked up regardless. Everybody, everybody you know,

just like the cells in your body will be replaced every seven years, every single person in your life will be gone and replaced in as many years. In seven years, everybody around you, well, they might be dead. You won't know because you won't talk to them anymore. It does not matter if you fuck things up. They're going no matter what.

They're going to be gone no matter what. Everybody has better shit to do than hang around with other people. It's kind of weird how people do kind of just fall away and then new people kind of come in and yeah, as life goes on. Yeah, the second day, one job, one boyfriend, one kid, especially he's gonna take them away no matter what, so fuck it. Don't worry about it's getting fucked up anyway.

Everything's falling apart, just go for it, man. Especially in this case. Yeah, there you go. Let's see, I'm going to play a song. How about that? This one's called Cuckless Whisper by Chuck and V. Have I played this before? I don't think so. It's careless whisperer, basically. That's not what this says.

No, no, no. Cuckless whisperer. But I can guess the song. And I don't think we've heard it. Okay, here you go. Yeah. I feel so unsure As you took my hand and led me to the courtroom As the lulls who dies, Ramos makes me cry Calls me back before the bench To make us all complied

I'm never gonna sue again Guilty cock, I've got no idea Who it's easy to forget I know I'm just a tool Should have known better than to sue my friends And tried to cheat on my flat girlfriend So I'm never gonna sue again I got it in the way I sued you

Oh, real? Yeah, you put that line in the water, yes Yeah Okay, let me see if I can show this picture. I'm never gonna sue again Guilty, cuck, I've got no lawyer Though it's easy to forgive I know I'm just a tool Should have known, should have known, should have known friends Yeah, try to cheat on my flat girlfriend

So I'm never gonna sue again The way I sued you Oh Gonna sue again the way I sued you on I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm All right, all right, all right, that's enough of that. Yeah, here's what I was talking about. Okay. Somebody... You have to read it to me. Yeah, somebody found that the cat girl, remember the cat girl from the war of the fanboys fights? Yes.

That bitch that showed up and annoyed the, annoyed everyone that they've written to kick her out. And like sprayed cat juice on hysterios and hissed at them. Those were simpler times. Those were simpler times in the big show. A fight between a Greek and a cat. This, hissed at them. Those were simpler times. Those were simpler times in the video. A fight between a Greek and a cat. This week at Understand. We could relate to.

Yeah. And she seemed like she was 10 kinds of fucked. That was the kind of broad where you get her around. She'll fuck up your life. Oh, she'll fucking go crazy. Apparently people are thinking that she was the girl mental Jess caught Maddox trying to cheat with. Yeah. That's what they're, people think this, people think that they're hypothesizing that because all of the sudden this girl cat, the cat girl, that girl popped up on Maddox's streams as a moderator.

And, you know, letting him, this bitch just shows up and starts moderating your channel of nowhere and she was involved in this show. That's weird, right? It's weird. It's weird. It's weird because she seems totally unhinged. Like why would you let this person moderate shit?

Yeah. I wouldn't let her moderate you let this person moderate shit? Yeah. I wouldn't let her moderate a blackboard, you know? No. Best I could do there. Uh-huh. So somebody found this on mental Jess's private face, but where she said, yeah, that's, and then says her name, the cat girl.

Wow. Definitely a downgrade. Wow. Uh-huh. Shit. Uh, then somebody says, yeah, yeah, yeah. Somebody shits on Trump and then she says, yeah, I fucking hate rockabilly so much. But that's the theory.

That's the theory is that, um, War of the Fan Voices X, the Cat Girl, is the one that mental jazz caught Maddox trying to cheat with. Well, I mean, that, she kind of says that as much doesn't she? What else does downgrade mean? Yeah, no nothing. Yeah, that's her name definitely a downgrade. Well So there we go. Go a strain. Rolls on all right down my pace. I I really love your videos. I've honestly listened to them hundreds of times. 200 times.

Yeah, keep on doing what you're doing, man. Thanks. Yeah, good job. See ya. See ya. Hey, little fucker. What a character. Okay, do you want to do voice mails?

Yeah. All right. All right, buddy, you've been listening to the Dix show. It's very hot. It's dick show, it's very hot. It's very hot. It's gonna have to beat the fucking heat. I'm soaked. There's new shirts up.

I'm when I'm wearing the fuck off on my Tistic shirt, which now is cleaning on to me like Sran rap. There's guns, horns, and oil. The Dallas road rage shirt. Ah, it's up. You can check out the pre-orders for there. Oh God, is that clay? Hey Clay, what's going on?

Yo, what is up Dick? Can you hear me? Yeah, I can hear you just fine. What the hell are you doing? Do I need to give any kind of intro into what's going on in your last time you called it? I know. You know, it sounded like you had a lot of questions

for what the hook-in-up with trans women life is like. And I wanted to go, but you know, I wasn't expecting you to start shooting shots off of my cat girl. So you know that's my fake ex-girlfriend from the internet. Wait, what? Oh yeah, no, we were in like a fake relationship on Facebook for probably like a year,

and people would chip, believed it. Yeah. Well, she downgraded from you if she went over to Alex. You know, I could live with myself being a booth and being down good. All right. But anyway, yeah, sorry. So what happened with you and the trans girl? I saw a post on Facebook of Clay. Oh, my, oh, my Lord, dude, what would I don't even know where to start, man? Tenders a wild app. It's a wild app. Yeah. Um, shit. Uh, hooking up with fake vaginas. Uh, I mean, she was, she, you hooked up with a trans girl?

Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah. For, for context, yeah, hooked up with a post-op trans girl there. I mean, she was, was, she was a shit hanging out second. We're talking about fake vagina. Yeah. It's pretty much like a normal one except for you have to give your hand a good ol' take it in there. Okay. So you hooked up with a woman that had a hair penis turned into a vagina. Um, you know what, to, uh, sometimes we do everything for a funny story, don't we? Well, that's a lot to do for a funny story. How did this go?

This is what I'm saying is accurate, right? Yeah, no, I mean, you're pretty much right. Yeah. I don't have any, I, I, I, I, I'm much right. Yeah. I mean, I mean, I equals the guy's interesting there. Yeah, I'm more interested in this than I am in anything I've ever been interested in in life. Yeah, there's no judgment from this side. I've got all the interesting things.

I just need like, you know, like what I should be, you know, what I should be saying. Well, how did it start? How did you meet this? It started. Okay, it started like many things start to take. Like many things start a drug, a liquor. Yeah. Okay.

It starts, it starts at a swiping right at a bunch of people you shouldn't swipe right with. Okay. And then, I don't know, we talked for a while. She was actually a real swiping person. Did you swipe right knowing she was a trans woman or did you just swipe right? You know, I'd like to plead the fifth dick.

I'm going to move on to the next question. Thank you, sir. Yeah. So that means yes, because I've accidentally swiped right on a trans woman or two. You know, all right. Oh, hey, fair enough. Because no, no, no, because the tender mind, you have to train yourself in tender to just always go right.

Because the last thing you want is a fuck up left. You know, you don't match anybody. Like you never match anybody in tender. So you just always go right. And then a couple, a couple of sneak pass, a couple balls will sneak past the goalie. Yeah. You know, if I can actually one, one thing for tender two, if I can give a tip for anyone tindering dad jokes. Dad jokes are the key to everything. Oh my God. I'd fucking clean up. Yeah. Dude, yeah.

It's seriously innoc- like don't be like divisive at all and give dad jokes and you're gonna do great. You know, it'd be funny like a tinder bot of either one of both of us that just says quotes from the show and see how it does better. That's a great idea. I think we all know how that will go. I think that's the next slide.

That's the next slide. That's the next slide. Yeah. Okay. So you matched the trans woman on Tinder. Yeah. Yeah. You started giving her data.

I had a bean right in a bar. Wait, how did you see? Hold on, how did you seal the, how did you seal the meetup? What did you say? Okay, so well, we're at the bar. She ends up. No, on Tinder. Wait, did she like the jokes because she was a father? I'm just just talking to her, man, you Tinder. Come on. Yeah, did you drop any dad jokes on her? Oh, all dad jokes, nothing but, come on, get out of here. She actually, yeah, she thought I was like a really sensitive dude, a nice guy. Now, I got some introspection.

Like what? Transwomen are the new fact girls. Like you remember that old saying, banging fake girls like riding a moped? Yeah, it's fun until your friends find out. Trans girls has become, because they're so complex. Oh, I think you're a sweet guy.

My inner self is cutting out. Is there a way I can actually, I'm sorry, man. I'm catching this guy. I'm catching this combo right now. Calling that guy better? Yeah, hey. All right, okay. Sorry about that, man.

I'm sorry. I don't know what it is. I try to shut down everything I could. Anyway. Okay, so you matched the trans girl from Tinder and then you were given her your best dad joke lines. Do you remember what any of the... Seriously, that is on ironically

the way to hook up with Tinder girls is the best dad jokes. Like what? Give me one of the ones who gave the trans. Okay, hang on, one thing I did with the girl, someone asked the other day to like, I imagine the girl that doesn't have any kind of profile info. What's the best way to approach her? I said okay Here's one thing that I did that work is hey, we mesh you want to be best friends and eat fancy cheeses together? You could do with that. Oh

Boy, oh god. Oh, yeah, it's terrible. That joke is seriously works though. I shit you not met. Yeah, of course it works because that's funny That's yeah, well there used to guys want to send them dick pics and get later right away You just got the old one long game. You don't have to be you don't run faster than the bear You just have to run fat. You just have to be funnier than a dick pick. Yes, right? Yeah, so you make good. That's pretty easy to be all got this So you make plans to meet up with the Translums to meet up with the tranny. Uh-huh A tranny did she know that she warned you that she had a that did she tell you about the vagina or the penis situation?

I'm like well, I got to check this out. This could only end up very easily Do you know what's funny too is I'm five six and she's six foot Seriously, you know what's funny too is I'm five six and she's six foot So you meet her at the bar. What's the what's what is your impression of the woman that you're meeting at the bar? She was she was seriously a cutie-putty dude. I'll send you some pictures of her She was actually a cutie fan. Yeah send me pictures. What would you give her on like, give me the one to 10 rating on a try and scale? I'm one to 10. Okay, there's a one to 10 on a woman scale.

But it's not bad to say, but yeah, I've heard some boys' features, but she's probably like a seven. Okay. Okay. All right. Okay. I mean, you got, you got to have one.

It's like this is gonna be hilarious. a half way to this like this is going to be hilarious. And you you say, hey, this is Clay. What's going on? You're a tender date. Yeah, you probably heard me from the Dick Show Facebook group. I've heard a news a couple times. This is not enough. No, I talked to her just kind of. She was a really positive person and had a lot of uplifting things. So that was kind of cool. We just kind of hit it off. We wide to meet each other. We went to a bar.

And what kind of stuff were you talking about? Like, hey, I like your size 14s. Yeah. Do you talk about like penises? And so you talk about like, yeah, when you talk about your back, go on our shoulders to get the apples and the highest part of the tree god no no we did like basically like seriously basic roasted it's there's uh... it

was basically shit but i'll be a good enough that's my place no no like i want to know what you talk to a former man who is now a woman as like i know how to talk to women do you do you know that's a thing if I wish there was more stories there but there's not men it was literally just like you like any other girl you talk like there's there's just I have to look like it's so mundane that you have to I have to look it up again

well it's Sean what would you do if you had to hit on a Sean if you had to hit on a shan if you had to hit on a woman that used to be a man would you change your approach with i don't know it in your head i'm not sure oh dude that's it that's the key is you don't you don't change the approach because they want to feel like a woman oh okay that seems right oh they want to do you know what actually one thing when we do hook up speaking of you three men one thing i noticed that you want to do. You know what actually one thing when we do hook up, speaking of you see, man, one thing I noticed that she wanted to see is when we hook you up, she's like, she wanted to look down and see me, like she wanted to see me entering her.

So that's because I was a new thing to look at her. Okay, I feel like I'm drinking mustard right now. She wanted. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Are you saying that she, what were you her first as a woman? I know, I wasn't her first, I wasn't her first. But she just wanted to see the like, she was definitely still like, this is a newer experience

and she's like looking down like, she's like, hang on, hang on, hang on, move your legs so I can see it. I'm like, okay, this is weird, this is fucking weird. Okay, so you're at the bar, giving, telling the trans woman more, more dad jokes. I assume. Treating her like a woman. Yeah. Like a lady. Like a lady. Sorry. And it's an interesting dichotomy, Sean, because women want to be treated like garbage. And men want to be treated like women. You know, everybody wants everybody wants everybody wants something that they're not. Everybody wants to be treated. So when did you know that it was that the sex was a sure thing?

When did you know that there was something there? Oh, so she, yeah, no she asked. She ends up asking like, hey, can we head back to your place? I mean, like they do. We head back there and I tell her, once we get back to my place, I tell her, my roommate should be home and like, I don't know, maybe like half hour. So she's like, do we have time to talk, but go on, so she like drags me upstairs basically.

Snow snow. Yeah, snow snow, right? Drag some upstairs. Yeah. Okay, and in the bedroom, in the bedroom is she is she passive like a woman uh she wants to be she wants to be dominated and i mean if you want to speak of the dichotomy here picture reminds us let's speak about the dichotomy

26.5.6 and she wants to be dominated i'm like all right i got this all right guys leather up we got this fit All right, guys, let her up. We got this fit. How long has she been a woman? I do like five years. It's something like five years. It's been a while. Okay, so she's down. So he was like 16, which, honestly,

if I would actually look at Transite, I don't think you should be able to, I don't think she should do that, really. And this really happened. Yeah, no, this really happened. I will, I will, would you ever say these pictures and everything? Okay, okay. Yeah, I got to see happened. I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, me like, or she ends up kind of ghosting a bit. And she, oh hold on, hold on, let's get to the,

let's get to the nitty gritty first. You're in your, she drags you upstairs by your hair to your own room, and then you start tearing your clothes off. Taring each other's clothes off, right? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. Okay, and then is there is there some sort of

the do you have to do anything special when you're is this your first time with the trans woman? This is my first time with a tranny dick. I'm not I'm not like making myself a training pro here. Okay, but I am obviously more progressive the most liberal. Yeah, yeah, with all the tranny talk. Oh, yeah. What was the equipment like? What was the equipment on the trans woman line? You're in genuine, genuine looks pretty much like the same. Especially if you're drunk, you're not really going to notice much of a difference or anything like that.

Okay, here's the difference. I don't even know if I can spot one out of a line up, to be honest. showed me a 10 vaginas and said, pick the two. You've had sex with a, I don't know. None of them is like, it was actually all 10 of them. Yeah, okay. Yeah, it looks like one that hasn't seen a whole lot of a whole lot of road work. Okay. But yeah, no, the one thing is they can't get wet themselves so you have to you have to loop them up for them You know she's like, I'll sit down there. I'm like I'm never trying to that's weird So see I'm gonna be sitting on my hand and then rough down my penis. Oh my god

This is gonna be sound it and my mom might hear it That wet the wet stuff is just a myth. They don't act women real women don't actually get wet That's just the thing that the TV tells you. That's all bullshit. Okay, so what position are you in when you guys consummated your tinder? Honestly, most, it's just basic pictureship, but mostly, mostly what, what, what's the one, just the basic one, fuck it. Just a position clay. We're looking for just a position that you guys were in. Yeah, I was trying to think of it. I was trying to think of the name of it. It's like something of Catherine. What is it? What are you doing? I'm just gonna have her missionary missionary. It was missionary.

It was a big. I didn't do much about it. She's six foot nine five six. It's not like I can hear a dog. She's gonna get smaller than me. Yeah, I feel like a Chihuahua and a adult or great thing. Yeah, right? Okay, and it did feel, what did it feel like? It felt pretty good. It was like a tight, tight little Vajajay there. Huh. And then what?

I mean, this is the weird thing that I wouldn't do. Did you ask her if she was on birth control? Yeah. Oh, so hang on. Okay, I got two things on that. this is the weird thing that would be the rascal if you was on bird control will you don't have to use birth control, but she asked me to pull out because she said she had to have some kind of special cleaning thing that she has if I come inside her. But it's weird, non-centred disinfectant. I'm like, oh, I've never heard of that. I don't know where to get that like trans-mart or something. Okay. So logistically, it would be a bunch of chores, a series of processes if you were to

come in her. So she asked you to be a gentleman. Apparently, yeah, I never would expect that. I used to be a little bit of a trans girl. It's like, well, you can't get pregnant. I'm just going to blow it inside. But yeah, apparently, there's like a bit of chore of it. I didn't expect that.

This is how you know it's real. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I didn't know making that up. And if you were treating your like a woman though, you just would have ignored that commenter in English. I'm sorry, if I was treating like what? I was seeing like woman. Okay, so you pull out, you make it easy for her Yeah, yeah, right I'm okay, yeah, and you're laying there you got it done in time before your roommate came back. I assume I Did I did but she's actually I've shown my roommate in her journals anyway at some point when we did crosswords together Okay, so you had a funny evening then and she ghosted on you after that. Is that what I'm as I'm hearing? Oh Yeah, yeah, that was the funniest thing. So she ghosts on me, right?

And like after a few days, she texts my roommate. And like she showed up my roommate's work and texts them. She's like, hey, I don't know where it is, but I'm kind of feeling like, I'm gonna confuse myself, I'm kind of feeling you. And like my roommate sends me this because he's like, I best find he's not that, yeah. I'm like, I'm under the bus yeah yeah so he had sex with a dude he tried to hook up with my roommate at his

way by a friend or a friend yeah I got to spoke so for literally end metaphor with me by a friend but then when I when I texted her back I was like hey can you give me a favor and not stalk my roommate at his work? Also, by the way, please consider donating to a patreon.com slash a serious token of, and I'll eat a center block. Oh, it's just it's just patreon.com slash hysteria. She doesn't need his last name. No, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wow. Well, it's a hell of a story. That's a hell of a story. More interesting than anything I got. Yeah I need some time to process this clay anything make you a rage right now Yeah, you know what what makes the array you're making one day, but it scratches on your sunglasses Yeah, I can't own a single guy. I don't hear some glasses It's like where is supposed to keep them in a safe or something I don't know some glasses. It's like, where are you supposed to keep them? And it's safe for something.

I don't know where you're supposed to keep some glasses where they just don't get scratched on them. It looks like you're looking through a fucking 1930s TV. You're supposed to keep them in the bag at all times, even when you're wearing them. Yeah, no, there's... I don't know. I don't know.

There's nothing to happen here. All right, buddy. Get out of here. I don't think I have any more questions. Hi, very good. I'll talk to you. There you go good God. I do want to know how he rates. Oh wait. He's got a call I'm gonna call him right back. I want to know how she rates. Yeah, yeah, yeah I got to know I got to know okay. He said it. He's had a long life of a erotic conquest clay clay has clay There He's had a long life of erotic con quest Clay Clay has Clay. Are you there?

Wait, what's up buddy? Hey, I got one question for you. Where would you rate? What's what should we call her? What should we call her name? You know what she's six but tall on the five six that's called trapzilla. Okay chads trapzilla trapzilla trapzilla Hey, I don't know can I make it on the rage with somebody? Yes, yes, yes, yes, of course Awesome, appreciate it. Hey, thanks so much. Let me call in. I wish I shot on you. Thank you for calling in where would you rate her on all the women that you've Bedded

Funny thing on that I was talking to my one friend who doesn't look up like he's like and I was telling about he and a lot of questions and when I say her pictures, I think she's actually the hottest pretty new top with my John. I don't know what that makes you what was I say about you. Um, I was just being up there. Looks and love making. How would you what would you rate the love making out of a 100 scale and then versus all of the women you've ever, all of the real women you've had sex with? 100 scale, I'm gonna put it in the mid 70s, but she's got stuff to do, but she's good.

She's good for a while, you know what you, okay, and then let's grade it on a curve. Let's grade it on a curve versus all the other women you've ever had sex with. Yeah, I'm gonna say, Let's grade on a curve versus all the other women you've ever had sex with I'm gonna say You know I had a lot of women that suck it. I'm gonna say like an eight an eight. Wow, pretty good review You know, I'm not yeah, I'm not talking she did good. She did her job. She had one job. She came up. She performed

All right, all right get out of here. We can never say a big show in a progressive show. All right, take it easy, dick. See ya. Very progressive show, Sean. So 75 on overall banging and an eight compared to, on a curve, yeah. So when you apply the curve to the, to the banging scale, she, she goes up.

Yeah, she goes up, yeah. All right, everybody, you've been listening to the dick show. I. She she goes up. Yeah. She goes up. Yeah. All right, everybody. You've been listening to the Dix show. I've never heard anything like that before. No, I have not either. I don't know if I need to hear it a second time. No. Well, just don't listen to the episode once posted. Yeah. It's the I have to hear it a second time. Probably today. I'll see you it a second time. Hahaha. Probably today. I love seeing it land everybody. Kicking off a stereo, this is Garage Comedy 2. It's Dick Show, Dick.Show patreon.com slash the Dick Show. See you next Tuesday.

Kale the jerk. Dick loses his mind. We didn't hear that. I don't know why. I wasn't so angry about this all week, but I suddenly fucking am. Hmm. It's anger whiskey. Maybe this is angry with it's the angriest whiskey in the world. That's how we're gonna call it whiskey.

Push it to world's angriest whiskey. There we go. Mm-hmm. Fuck it! Put everybody in a hijab, a bucket, just in case. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, And then the government and universities can work on brainwashing women micro-dosed me with acid and viagra.

Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it. All right. Fuck it. Fuck it, man. God, I hope Maddox is dating that cat chick. Hmm. That would be so funny. Well, yeah, I mean, you know, you can go from...

Who knows who's crazier uh... uh... uh... uh... hey dick you know it makes me a rage false choices like uh... when your girlfriends as hey you don't have to come on family vacation with all of my family

trick that's a great day home if you want so then you do and instead you go to Big Show Road Raid Rally, Road Raid Dallas, best night of your life. Nice. But then she comes home and is looking at all these pictures and gets pissed off that you didn't go on vacation. She wants to know why you're taking all these pictures with some bimbo in a red dress. And you might be thinking, hey, that's not a bimbo. That's the only one you want to do. You watch your mouth. And then your single.

So anyways, and single now, and we already have some pretty cute photos. Oh, and how's the math? That's your single. And we also have some pretty cute photos. Oh, yeah, that wasn't a real choice. I remember Dick, if that really tickles your fancy, or you know, coach, you want to leave that way for yours, we got some cute photos together too.

Oh, boy. You have a great day and go fuck yourself. Well, you know, God, I like how to good time. Yeah, it is, it is. I don't want to brag, but the road rage shows are probably the most fun anyone will ever have. They're really fun. And that was particularly fun.

It's hard to, it's not even possible to plan it. It's just that many people with that much energy, all marching in the same way. Yeah. That never happens ever, ever because this show is about mindset, gorilla mindset, and you know what I mean? It's everybody's there to have fun. Whether they're doing drugs, getting an argument or whatever, it's there to have fun.

Some woman's family, please, she did you a favor by giving you that ultimatum. They let you know. Sometimes they let you know right away that, hey, this is not a thing that you want to be around in long term. I need a lot of petty squabbling in a relationship. I need you to be around my parents for some reason because I have a relationship with them that doesn't have a respective boundaries. So I need you to be a part of that quickly. Now, you can't do anything fun. You're not allowed to do it.

Even though my parents will be here for a long time and there's one of this show, fuck you and your thing, I need a boyfriend like I need a security blanket. So come with me to my thing. Well, that's her way of trying to make him show how into her and how important she is to him. Yeah. And you shouldn't be that into someone. That's a level of not that's a level of too much into someone. You know,

you got to have things you do separately. Oh, or you'll kill each other. No, you definitely do. Yeah, you definitely do. Yeah. You definitely do. Man, it's not healthy to only do things with that person. Every time I see a long time ago when I would do dating shit and everybody would list their interests, like, oh, I'm looking for this. Like, if I have interest, I don't ever want to do them with you. Well, that's what they say.

A lot of guys biggest regret is having their woman take up golf. You know, if they're golfers or something, all of a sudden, it's like, now you're on the course every Saturday for four plus hours to just in silence. Oh, well, you're in your silence. In darkness. Chattering up is my biggest regret in life is getting 80s girl into magic. I wish I could just play there by my self. Was that the appropriate? I bought a brand new course at Box.

We had to, I only got to open 13 of the packs. Bullshit. Oh boy. Okay. My cousin. Is it getting hotter in here? It's getting very hot. Hey, it's Sam from Wisconsin.

My rage today is things people aren't doing aren't actually doing. So I pretty much spend like my entire day at work just by myself in my own head just doing about manipulative shitty fucking things. My loved ones are probably gonna do. Nothing anyone in my life has actually done. Just things that they might do. What might do with them? Just thinking about it.

They might make this start a fight or do this nighttime and that just pisses me off. And how I'm gonna just, how they wrong me. They're like, holding up for it. And fury just burn it. Burn probably right in these people. And then I burned it. Probably between these people. And then I'll probably get to do it later that day. Or like later that week.

It can just like all amped up. I'll just ready to fucking go at it. There must be something that made him think this. Yeah. It's kind of the same thing. He's right. He's being awesome. I'm just wasting.

All this time at work, making my day worse about things people aren't doing. It's a way of though. Perfectly good rage and energy squandered on imaginary flights. People are doing against me. People that I care about and that are always awesome or most of the time awesome. Wasted on nothing. Bob, anyways, go fuck yourself and have a wonderful day. They're probably only awesome because he's putting off that aura of, I don't wanna be fucked with and I know I'm onto you.

Oh, I say, you know. Yeah. A lot of times if people don't have that fear, they can, you're projecting on them. They'll start trying to stump you and get away with things. They'll preemptively strike with just your aura so they're not shitty to you. You've got to be prepared.

Yeah. That's all I'm saying. In all aspects of life. Okay. At any, even the meekest person could be ready to zing you or trouble you in some way. Because that's probably what they're thinking about on their own, just ways to zing you or trouble you in some way. Cause that's probably what they're thinking about on their own, just ways to fuck with you.

Yeah. So you used to be, yeah, a lot of people's pastime. Recently, everyone's favorite thing to do is to fuck with someone else. Yeah. So he's probably right. But you know, just embrace it. Either you're either they are those assholes

or you're the asshole. One of you's the asshole. One of you's the asshole and it's impossible to figure out. So run with it. The next show what makes me a rage is straws. A piece of me off one of the waders gives me straws. It's like, look, they're still throwing right off the bar, okay? That's important, a cylindrical, long thing you'll announce, okay? You're insinuating that in gay. And that's just gay, but I prefer tiny fetuses, because this is the most

pathetic thing I've ever seen. Secondly, what we're saying, if it's not that that you say i'm a toddler and we're fucking spill you to be a little straw what kind of a child need to guide in fucking the potential pick a liquid of you can't drink which is bigger than you think it's not just straws now

you go you go to uh... the big fries because you're uh... you're a listed man you want to have a nice clover liquid to help the party first when they're working with the the big strong guy the gas what they're drunk in the north all the while while the building

rubbery straws now it's all about suck it on a fucking straw and pisses the off, it's like, this is what I'm talking about. It's emasculating and it's the further, it's like the infantilization of men, the real man, we sent him out of a tumbler

and he's gonna fight a spill. You guys are on opinion on straws? Well, this is nothing that a trans woman can't fix. Oh yeah. Yeah, that's that's number one. No, I don't have a strong opinion on straws. We got a real case of the not gays. What's out? What do you mean the not gays? Oh, he's the guy who wants to prove he's not gay.

Yeah, so right, he's the only way to do that is to bang a trans woman, I think is what you're saying. Yeah, I don't know. It's a strong reaction to straws. He's insinuating that he's gay. Suck a small dick. And like small dick. Yeah.

No one wants it. Which is, which is worse. That's the problem. Many guy would suck a dick and there's just none, only of a certain size. Gay is fine. Yeah. It's the small, the small dick part that can really be upset about. That's what, if everybody was gay, I'd be like,

yeah, I'll suck a dick, but it's gotta be a lot bigger than that. Yeah, you're gay, but you're only like a two on the scale. Cause you want straw-like dicks. Yeah. I'll suck a dick, but just show me. I mean, it's gotta be big enough. Bring me a dick I'll suck a dick, but I mean, it's got to be big enough. Bring me a dick. I mean, I'm not gonna waste my dick. It's little, don't give me this little earthworm shit.

Give me a dick fit for a king. Yeah. I suck that thing all day. That's not big enough, not big enough, not big enough. Try again. I'm fine with that. Right. You found how big do you need it? I'll tell you when I see it, like the Supreme Court in pornography. Mm-hmm.

I'll tell you, I'll tell you when a dick is big enough when I see it. Speaking of the Supreme Court. Hey, Dick, happy birthday to America. Yeah, yeah. Just real quick regarding Jen's Berg, they never saw Hillary or would lose. Well, that's true. As a hell of a gamble. That's true. He's another one. Supreme court.

What if a restaurant was just a new fucking moron? Telling Ruth Bader gets Berg, why she doesn't fucking retire. Well, Bob was in fucking office. So they could elect somebody else. They could put somebody else on the fucking bench yeah how the fuck do you think Neil Gors Scott on the fucking bench at all oh oh that's right Anton Scalia fucking died and then Obama was able to was supposed to be able to fucking appoint somebody in the Republican fucking shut him out yeah good fucking call real smart oh you never get hang up noises anymore.

Hardly ever, they always just end. That was a good one. Yeah, because you ended on your phone, so there's no clattering. Yeah, we need that. You see on a landline? They must have been. Oh, no, it's like an angry hang up.

I need an app where when I hang up, it sends a sound to the person. And I can pick, like I can pick a tiny one, normal hang up, middle one, I'm in a rush, don't call me back. And a level three, I'm upset, make it, like a car wrecked into the phone, a big bus crash, a school bus crash in the phone, it's kids screaming at your shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Supreme court man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Supreme court, man. Yeah. I think we should interview their kids in the Supreme court. Not a bad idea, you know, because they get up there and they give the same canned responses for everything. What do you really think of?

Let's see what of mom or dad. Yeah. What would you do? We stump the justices. Like, all right. Let's say a bill comes across the Supreme Court. People, a guy, a 20-year-old man, a 24-year-old man, clones himself, and then that guy clones his parents. Who pays for whose health care? go. You get two minutes to explain your philosophy on that. So otherwise it's too easy. We'll give the simple questions to the kids

so you get an honest interpretation of what mom or dad thinks, and then you ask the stumpers to the supreme, because that's what they're gonna have to answer. They're gonna have to answer things that they didn't think of before, right? Yeah, it's all I'm saying. But supposedly within the constraints of the constitution.

What does the constitution have to say about things like that? Yeah, nothing directly, certainly. Nothing directly. So how do you interpret the constitution? How do you interpret FDR, whatever the healthcare, Medicaid, Medicare on people, on children who clone themselves and then the clone elects to clone the parents of the first one. Go ahead.

You've got a minute and a half, spend half a minute thinking the senator for asking you the question and then let's hear it. Yes, that's right. Oh, it's way too hot in here. Hey, Dick. Hey, Sean. It's hot. It's hot. It's right. Oh, it's way too hot in here. Hey, Dick. Hey, Sean. It's hot. This is Ed from Sendy Echo.

What makes me a rage is it's when you're in traffic, you know, things aren't moving too fast. And you're in the leftmost lane. And so these guys I like to call them motorcycle cucks. It's not the guy on the motorcycle. It's the cars that when they see the motorcycle approaching the motorcycle split in lanes, the guy in the car swerves way too far onto the shoulder. Making a big show of it. Give the motorcycle a some room. But it's completely unnecessary because he already

has plenty of room because he's splitting lanes and moving and it's like I feel like these guys do it just to signal to everyone around them that hey I'm an aware driver look at me, I'm paying attention to my surroundings you know like they really want like a thumbs up or like a peace sign from a motorcyclist, you know, she's like, oh, hey, look at me. I got a thumbs up. I got a peace sign. Motorcyclists, please, please fuck my wife. Yeah, motorcycle cucks. Really, really just make me a rage. Anyways, thanks. An unwillingness to exploit strength. That's what a cuck is. If a motorcycleist comes up, you just veer right into that line, fuck anyone for having an advantage that doesn't cost you anything.

Sean, that's what it's about. They didn't have to fight for that. They didn't earn that slightly less traffic time. There's mother fucker motorcycle riders. All right, it's too fucking hot. We gotta go. I'm definitely not thinking anymore. Thank you, everybody.

time. There's mother fuckered motorcycle riders. It's too fucking hot. We got to go. Yeah. I'm definitely not thinking anymore. Thank you everybody.