The Dick Show - Episode 113 - Dick on Green Eggs and Body Dysmorphia

Episode Date: July 31, 2018

The scourge of squeaky beds, Liquor Wardens, crying over scrambled eggs, Brittany Venti calls in to correct the story of The 4Chad Strangling, TDS Top Gay handles some pork, women saying "interesting", Body Dysmorphia, KevinALandau.com, Asterios' flub of the century, and a memorial rant for a fallen Dickhead; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Oh man, alright, let's go. That was odd timing. Right when I pressed it. I know. Yeah! Yeah! Welcome to Dick. You want to dig your name, Dick, you love Dick, you got it, it's the show! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa unstoppable dick masters and I could just talk, I could go forever. An hour, just about that, just about myself, the unstoppable, the $20 million, the unsuable,

unstoppable, $20 million man. Dick Masterson, with me, he's always a Sean, the audio engineer. I was gonna wait. Now, I think I wasted everyone, I wasted enough of everyone's time with that stupid three minute outro last week. The three minute outro?

The three minute blues outro that I did. I like that. You know what, I'll walk around all day just doing that. I believe you. In my own house. Oh, that was funny. Yeah. Because you took every stereotypical ending

and smashed them all together. That's so funny to me. Yeah, because it always works every time. It's, it's why spinal tap was so good. The more you know about music and like the new way for British heavy metal, like Iron Maiden and Judas Priest and stuff, the funnier that fucking thing is because it is, it's like they, they totally take the insanity and stupidness of those bands.

Every single part of it. Yeah. And people are like, oh, that's really funny, but it's like, yeah, but do you know where that comes from? You ruined the movie, Tyn Cup, for me. Oh, I did. By telling me. Because they're all just old anecdotes.

And yeah, I was, I saw it in the, I watched it with my girlfriend. She made me go, it's like a, Rob Rom, some stupid rom, Com, I was like, wow. Sheesh, Marin's in it. How bad could it be? You know, all right, baby.

We could go see tin cup. If you're really jonesing for that romcom, you're really jonesing for that emotional porn that you love so much, you teenage bitch. Sure, let's go see it. Cheachle, at least light it up. Cheachle provoke a couple giggles from me with just looking at his little circular face.

Yeah, love it. Sure. Let's do it. And I walked out thinking it was a great movie. But then you told me it was just all golf anecdotes. Yes. That's about what that movie is. So, well, then I just watched an old man tell all of his golf anecdotes in a row, and now I hate myself for enjoying it. Yep. All right. That's my review of 10 Cup.

Hey, everybody. Welcome to the program. Today we've got Brittany Venti calling in. A lot of exciting stuff. Damn, she heard about what happened, what was said last week about her. Where it gets around. Yeah, where it gets around pretty quickly in the internet. Sure seems to.

On the old internet, Sean. Yeah, yeah. Back in the day, Brittany would have, it would be weeks before she heard about that story. That horse would still be riding. Yeah, horse would still be riding. She's in New York. I don't even know.

A lot to ask her. Yeah, well, he's talking about Brooklyn setting up the stereotypes. I think probably in New York. Yeah. Speaking of hysterios, the hysterios show canos is gonna be this Friday. It's happening.

I am, I am beyond excited. Me too. See what it's gonna be. Me too. I'm over my anoint, I'm an over being annoyed that it's not in a garage. Fine,. See what it's gonna be. Me too. I'm over my annoy, I'm an over being annoyed that it's not in a garage. Fine, I've accepted it. And I can't wait to see what he's gonna do. He's asking people to show up in costumes. Oh wow. For some reason. I gotta know what, because he does do stand up, right? He's done this for it. So it's like,

I just want to see what a Nisterio stand up show is like. Me too. If that's what this is really going to be, I don't maybe he's going to, it's going to be in a Stereo's show canos. Yeah. Okay. That's all we know. All right. Well, I hope there is some stand up. I'm sure there must be because he's got tons of material going way back.

And then the next day, of course, is road rage Atlanta. Yeah. Where I'll be singing peaches mustard. Oh, yeah, yeah. I still have to write. Yeah. I think that I think that Steven will be there giving out some butt plugs.

Some of his homemade, some of his homemade American butt plugs that he does make. Made in the USA, huh? It's so, you're lucky. You know, if you didn't get enough asked stuff at the hysteria's show can those, you just come right over to road rage Atlanta, well, maybe we could hook you up with a butt plug

if you're so lucky. Phenomenal. Maybe you could win yourself a butt plug, a handmade, handcrafted butt plug from I think it's dog wood crafts. Hand turned on a lathe, right? Hand turned from a man who is, there's craftsmanship that goes into a butt plug.

You know, this isn't seventh grade metal shop class where you just have to make a handle for a spatula and you're like, whatever, I don't care. I stick it in the lathe and I'm just stabbing it with this all and then it's done. Don't even make a handle. Tell mom to use a pot holder. Use a pot holder, mom.

What do we, what do we, do you want to handle this on everything? Yeah. What else do you need handles on? Just use a pot holder. Well, yeah, stick an apple on it if it's such a pain in the ass for you to handle on everything. It's a calluses, it's done. This is, this is finely craft.

You know, the man knows what feels good in a butt. Well, that's the thing that there's the, there's the old adage never trust a skinny chef. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I mean, you know, never let a bald man cut your hair. I work in Italian restaurant, he's vegan. Fuck you, you're food sucks. Never let a non degenerate make you a butt plug.

Yeah. That's what we're saying, right? Yeah. Somebody doesn't browse forechan. No butt plug. Yeah. That's what we're saying, right? Yeah. Somebody doesn't browse forechan, no butt plugs from them. That's right. Not interested. Let's see, what else do I got? I got a lot of fun activities, fun goss things. Did you see what happened to Kevin Landau's search results?

I can't wait to talk about this. Well, no, I mean, I knew they were headed south, but wait a minute, I think I know a little bit about it. Have you Googled his name recently? No, no, but So, no, you bastard. Yeah, Kevin A. Land, this was on Reddit this week. Yes, today somebody founded this is where I heard about it. Kevin A. Landau.com World's worst lawyer. Yeah, it's his name. He starts for Kevin Landau. Number one, Astero's is medium piece, very well written piece on how Astero's got fucked five-matics.

That was a really good piece. It was great. It was really, really well done. Oh my God. If he has any trouble getting hired in PR, he should just send him that article. Look, this is what PR looks like. This is what, this is what impassioned PR looks like.

You can't read this and not feel connected to it. So well written and so thorough and succinct at the same time. Yes, and fun, and it's got pictures. What more can you ask for? That's it. Number two is I think the LandauGroup.com, then number three, have an A Landau, world's worst lawyer with all of this

DUI shit. Oh my God. I mean, it's like I said before. Search results are it's very, it's reputation management is what it's called. Yeah. The good news is it's very expensive. The bad news is doesn't always work. It doesn't always work. It's very difficult because it's relevant information and it's new information. It's all the DUI stuff. Transcripts of the DUI, transcripts of the DUI,

the motion denied to get your driver's license back. But it's a public service. I mean, because it's not illegal. It's a public service. No, it's really damaging to him. He's got to be flipping out. Well, you know, I mean, it, but drive drunk. No, again, no, drive drunk.

It's all true. And then don't threaten to sue the internet. Don't threaten to put a restraining order on the internet for talking about you because this is what happens. People have, this is what people do. People have an absolute right to information when they're going to hire someone or something. That's you do your research.

Obviously, the internet makes it easier to do research. Yeah, that's, I have zero problem with that information being out there. It's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all true. I have less than zero problem. Yeah, it's all true. So whoever you are, I don't know, whoever you are, step, please step forward. So maybe don't step forward because it's dangerous because you'll get sued.

Yeah. So maybe we'll never know who it was. No, maybe not. But whoever it is is a hero. Let's see, what makes me, we got, road rage Atlanta, which I already said, we got a magic, the gathering, grand pricks tournament that I'm putting on downtown.

Yeah. LA has a grand prix of magic where everybody gets together and plays magic. I am doing an after event on August 18th called the Grand Pricks where we will be drafting magic cards and playing magic. Because if you don't know how to play magic, first of all, I mean, what are you doing with your life? Playing sports, working out. I think that's the hole in my life.

I have yet to fill. It must be magic. Maybe all my problems can be solved by taking up magic. Did you know that AA recently, they don't do the big book anymore, they just give you a magic booster pack. They say here, you'll never think about liquor again because all your money will be in magic cards.

You know that would probably be more effective. Yeah. It's like Jesus. but for pagans. Yeah, I don't know. I couldn't think of anything funny there. Yeah. I'll cut that door. We're doing a grand prick's downtown.

If you don't, if you don't know how to play, just, just come, it'll be a lot of fun. Yeah, if nothing else, it'll be a hangout, right? Yeah, I have no idea. I mean, I'll come. I have no idea. You want to play? No. Ah, that's right, you don't like games. Iout, right? Yeah. I have no idea. I mean, I'll come. I have no idea. You want to play? No.

Ah, that's right. You don't like games. I really don't. Yeah. I don't like games. I know. I'm so competitive. And if I don't totally understand it, I don't, I hate the learning curve.

Yeah, I know. I hate the learning curve. You know, that's not what that means? What's that? The learning curve. Oh, the learning curve. I don't think it's what that means. Yeah.

I think a learning curve, curve me is some kind of economy term for like the amount of pickup of a technology and how slow it is like social media is very quick to pick up, but like flight was very slow to pick. I think that's what it means. Oh, no, everybody writes it wrong. You could be right. Popular usage is fucked it up, which has so many things. And obviously I may be the victim to that. That's one of the, you need, I love having a just a stable of things to stump people and destroy conversations with just like that. Everybody, everybody, everybody. You know, everybody, shit too. Yeah, that's, yeah. Everybody, I just want to let you know that you're

using that term, that term that everyone agrees on, you're all using it incorrectly. First, it's the sound foolish. It's champing at the bit and stamping ground. Yes. You imbacillus. Right. Now everyone, don't even look me in my eyes. Look at my feet and look at how beautiful they are because I'm so full of knowledge.

Yeah. And you are all stupid. Mm-hmm. Bowel before, right? Yes. That's the point of life. Okay, what makes me rage this week? Squeaking beds. Oh, yeah. Wow. Yeah, it is the squeaking bed issue is not being addressed. And it is out of fucking control. A good bed, most expensive bed on the planet

will last you about two weeks. Yet so funny how bad, how bad mattresses go so quickly and how noisily. I know. How is, you know why the birth rate is declining in the Western world? Squeaky bed. Because every time you go to lay your pipe in a trough, you feel like you're on a fucking haunted pirate boat. It's so distracting. It's so distracting.

All of a sudden, I know. I was thinking that, like fairly recently. It's so, look, in this world of ubiquitous pornography and television, it is difficult for every man to maintain a full erection all the time, all no matter what. No matter how special and beautiful and lovely your girlfriend or wife it is, it is still difficult. And then you add in this cacophony of screeches and creeks to fill you with dread and and and awareness.

The last thing that anyone needs when they're plowing abroad is awareness of what's going on. $20 million idea. $20 million idea. Combination, Lube, and WD40. You just spray all over the room. Whatever. It doesn't matter where it looked. It's not in time.

It's fixed. What ails ya. Yeah. Doesn't matter. And then you've got that awkward moment looking at her and like, I know that you know that the bed is squeaking and you know that I look away. Look away, I can't look you in the eyes anymore. Is this thing gonna, is it gonna buckle?

What's gonna happen? And then you get angry at her, you're like, well, you don't have to stay hard during all this squeaking and shattering. That's reminding me of being a teenager. Jerk, you're trying to jerk off quietly in my parents' guest bedroom when I'm visiting them during Christmas. Like, well, I got a bust one out here, but this fucking guest bed squeaks like a, squeaks

like it's full of hamsters. Yeah. Like, it's full of angry hamsters. So I've got to sit there just kind of doing a little disabled type of stroking and very short strokes. Very short strokes. And it's now I'm thinking of that and this is fucking ruined. It's gonna take forever.

This is gonna take forever. Yeah. I'm glad you're enjoying it. Because mine's ruined. And it's my bed that I paid for doing this to me. Mm-hmm. It's really, really upsetting. It's very upsetting and nobody's talking about it. I want to take Larry with his sit-in sleeps and I want to choke him on his bed. Like you can sit and squeak, you fat motherfucker.

Do you guys everybody know who Larry is? I think he's just regional. It's a Southern California story. Larry is his accountant. The actual guy. No, no, no, no, Larry is the guy. Erwin is the accountant. Erwin is the accountant.

The guy who says you're killing me, Larry. You're killing me, Larry. Because his prices are so low. Yeah, that he's hemorrhaging money. Because he's been skimping on the anti-squeak shit. Yeah, that's why. Yeah, obviously. God, it's very frustrating. You, that's why. Yeah, obviously. God, it's very frustrating.

You, it's one guy, one guy. I just want one guy that looks, I don't care what he looks like. He could look like garbage. He could, he could be, he could, he could look like he's driving an ice cream truck. The one that you tell your kids not to go around. He stares directly into the camera

and he goes, if my bed squeaks one time, if the bed from a pervert's bed factory, if it squeaks one time, I will give you your money back. That's it. So I'm a customer for life. One squeak on the fucking bed. We go, this, you're going to, you want to go to the Mars? Make me, you want to go to Mars? Make me a bed that doesn't squeak. That's all I'm saying. So I could have one pleasant sexual encounter. Just one. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Start over. Start over. Start over. Start over. Too much squeaking. Let's go to the floor. Let's get a dog bed out of the closet. We got

fuck on that. It just shows you how easily your focus is distracted because as soon as that happens, it's all I hear. It's all I'm paying attention to. Well, now I've got, and then new squeaks are born every minute. Like they're multiplying. Well, that's different. Different. Like, oh, where did this fucking squeak come from?

That's what I'm before. Where's that? It's down in that corner. Well, now this corner's fucked. I gotta move to another one. So true. Very frustrating. I don't care how comfortable the bed is.

Yeah, the fucking thing squeaks. It's done. It's done. This is the one thing I want. I don't care what it takes. Take the springs out. Start over. Start completely over because they're not working.

Springs don't fucking work. How are those memory foam things? I don't know. The Casper ones? Well, I don't know, just in general, the memory foam, I would think that the give would be a lot different. Yeah. Everything would be slow,

because sometimes the springs work for you, like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, plus pounding it in there. From what I understand. That's what you're talking about. Yeah, like, Bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, plus pounding it in there. From what I understand. That's what you're talking about. Yeah, but from what, what I understand, they're really hot too,

which I would fucking hate. Or they, which is the worst. I don't know. Some day somebody will make a fucking bed that's that I wanna die in. I'm just gonna go get a coffin. I don't hear those squeaking.

I'll sleep in. Did I ever tell you about the nap I took in a coffin? No. It was on the set of the monster fuck, this short comedy film that I did to a parody song written by a guy named Nick Winger Winger. Oh, I think directed by Justin Donaldson. Oh, and Maddox was in it also.

He's playing Igor. He's playing Igor. He's getting fucked from behind by something. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah. I forget who's I think the wolfman is fucking him from behind. Oh, that's great. Anyway, it's a theme is it's it's not the monster mash. It was the original version of the monster mash which is which was more offensive. The original writer wrote it as the monster fuck. That was the song that he wanted made. Okay. And of course they changed it as the monster fuck that was the song that he wanted made okay And of course they changed it to the monster something more palatable to the American public in the 50s you understand yeah

Um and the this is a shoot of the original video that went with the monster fuck okay, so I was playing Dracula Yeah as you would yeah, and I was banging, I was banging the bride of Frankenstein. Okay, cool. In a coffin. Cool, so I had little fangs and my hair was all slick back. And the, the, the, the bride of Frankenstein was a porn star. Deanna D. Armand. Oh, cool.

I think was her name. Uh-huh. I don't know. I think I've told the story of getting called out by a porn star. I matched on Tinder on stage of the show. It was her. It was her. Anyway, yeah.

Cause it in texturing, Tinder. And she was pissed about it. So I get in the coffin to set up for the banging and they close the lid and like this is the, this is one of the most peaceful experiences of my life. It's nice and cushy in here. Got little sides, you feel sheltered. Yeah, this is like a big hug. Yeah, that you can just lay in for it.

Maybe I should, maybe I can work with this, you know? It's like part bed, part temple grand, and hugging machine that I need. See, and my life. I don't see anything like Macabre or anything about that, you know, like it's just a little box. Yeah, no big deal. Bed squeaking.

Something's gotta be done about it. What else makes me rage is, is oh, by the way, you know how it's complaining about straws? The war on straws last week. Paper straws. What immediately happened? What? Santa Barbara says, you can go to jail now for a waitress

giving straws and you didn't ask for them. This is prison. We're talking about you in California, you can fuck someone having aides not tell them not that's not no problem. That's a little slap on the wrist. We're gonna we're gonna wag a finger at you We'll make you wear a ribbon around for a day. No straw prison. The state has a Priority so fucking far out of whack. It's unbelievable. This It's it's embarrassing. Yeah, it's fucking embarrassing. It is prison. Yeah, prison And somebody would do it. Someone would arrest them. That's where we're at.

We can't, you see that on the books. You're like a bunch of crusaders. Oh, well, that's stupid, but of course no cop would actually do this. I couldn't convince somebody to do this. No. Right. There's no amount of money I could pay somebody to arrest someone that lives down the street from them for giving some straws away.

Could I? Well, there turns out that's my... That's not gonna be an amount of money, but it would be a lot more than a cop makes. Yeah. Right? It would be a ton of money because no one could possibly live with themselves for the rest of their lives after having done that to someone else. We just got to go wrong. What am I doing? Like, what the fuck am I doing with my life? Cal, California's gotta be walled off. We gotta let them secede.

There's no fucking reason California should be part of the US anymore. It's gotta be its own country. And it's gotta be, and its own country immediately invaded, taken over, and turned back into a Puerto Rico. We're gonna make Puerto Rico a state because you can't have, you can't have 51 states.

Flag will look stupid. Yeah, yeah. We're bringing Puerto Rico in. California goes in, fucking time out. Until we get our shit together. Yeah, I mean, I really don't believe that I will spend the rest of my life in California. Coaches are saying that too.

Having been different places. No, there's so much better life experiences elsewhere in the country. California is, it's so restrictive, it's so expensive. And it's just, it just, it's, it's never had its pulse on America as a whole. And this, the elitism of the coastal states, a lot of the time. And especially California is so off-putting. Yeah. It's so off-putting. And I heard somebody say, you know,

San Francisco, it's so diverse and open and and accepting shit on the street. And all that kind of stuff. But it's like, if you're not diverse in their way, yeah, you are a fucking pariah. Yeah. Were you thinking of moving? I don't know. I haven't given it deep thought, but I just thought it would be just it would be great. I don't know, move to a fucking Nashville or move to. Oh, because of the music. Well, yeah, I mean, something like that or just it there's there's lots of nice

places to live. You got to find a state where statistically they have the smallest penises so that you will go in there and be like, dad, a dad in the shower with the little kids, right? Waving that fucking monster around for the rest of your life. For the rest of your life. Damn it. A guy's dick was enormous from the sea, From the seat, it covered my entire eyeball. To a kid, oh man.

Yeah. Yeah. Sounds of bitches. He did that on purpose to us. Yeah. Our dads did. Okay, I'll tell you what else makes me rage. Straw thing.

Yeah. Unbelievable. Yeah, really is. Disneyland getting rid of straws. They have to. It's gonna be a. We're not gonna. They're not even gonna know what the fuck they are. The kids growing up. I'm like, what are these? What are these weird pipes that you guys used to suck on? Are you all gay or what? How do you drink like a dull whip if they have no straws? I don't know. I think you roll your hand up in a fist and just

suck it out. God damn, man. That's they have little instructions on the thing now, which wouldn't be surprising, because now that there's no more bags, I'm carrying arm loads of groceries, home from the store, I'm stealing carts. This is what they're worried about. This is gross. That turtle, that fucking turtle. God damn. Fucking turtle.

How do you know that turtle wasn't just a raging Coke themed? Yeah. I mean, how do you know it wasn't staged. It was you while you don't. I mean, jam a fucking straw. The third. Yeah. The next election, that's all it's going to be. It's going to come like, yes.

It's going to, it's going to have like a bunch of illegal immigrants dragging turtles across the border, playing soccer with a puppy. We're like, what do you think? Do you like this? Yeah. Trump 2020. Well, top that. We're playing soccer with a puppy. We're like, what do you think? Do you like this? Yeah. Trump 2020. Well, top that.

Then the other side's just gonna be molesting children. Oh God. Oh, sorry. Let's see. I'm on the wrong side of the aisle to be making that joke. All right. Uh, probably true. It is true.

Yeah. It is true. Oh yeah. It's weird. Yeah. It is true. Oh yeah, it's weird. Yeah, there's, there's, it's weird, the forbidden things that titillate us. Yeah, well, there, right? There is an absolute double standard when with regard to who gets a pass and who doesn't, for very similar things. I mean, we've not to get into that, but that, you know, yeah, like I would get a double

joy and whispering like a child molestation joke. Right. I get joy and whispering racist racist jokes though, you know, who wouldn't them? The taboo factor is big in every and every group. Yeah, all right. What else makes you words? The liquor police, liquor mandering.

I don't know what to call it. Lick her request. You know, when I said, my friends birthday party last night, and they had it in, they had it in, they had an outdoor birthday party last night in the sweltering heat for some reason and also for some reason they enclosed the entire patio area. Yeah. So it was basically like a birthday party in a train car that was headed to Auschwitz.

It was so tightly packed. That was sweaty. Yeah, very sweaty. I got it started. Can I, can I order Jack, real quick? Go ahead. When I saw, I told you last week, we saw, I saw the LA Phil perform the soundtrack to Jaws while we watched the movie at the Hollywood do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was fucking awesome. Yeah. And we get on that, see, the best thing to do, you're a fool if you drive to the Hollywood Bowl because it is a cluster fuck. Oh, yeah. Don't ever try to fucking go and park at the bowl. Don't get it. Don't try to get in. So there's, what you can do, you can park at the L.A. Zoo at night. There's billions of parking spaces. Nobody else is there. You get on a never ending series of buses that takes you there, drops you off.

It's fucking great. Six bucks there and back. Totally worth it. So on the way back, you may not get on the same bus that you rode there on. So on the way back, we get on a bus right away. But it's like a shitty bus and doesn't have as much energy. So you can't get on the bus. It's like a city bus.

It's like a city bus. It's like a city bus. It's like a city bus. on a bus right away, but it's like a shitty bus and doesn't have as much as much a standing or sitting room. So there's people standing and there's this lady probably had a few. She's, we're all packed in pretty good. I gotta see, because I don't fuck around. You know? So like, she's standing there and she's, fuck yeah. No, no, ladies, there's ladies around, no, it's you. She's, first.

Yeah, good. So she's, she's staying there. She goes, this wasn't like the bus that we came over here on. This is like, and she's saying it really loud to one of the other people in her group. She goes, this is like, this is exactly like a train, going to a concentration camp. You know like the Nazis?

Like, yeah, no, no. Cool. And some of those are on dates here, John Galei. And somebody goes, well, I hope it's not the same end result. But I was like, it wasn't like a joke. No, this was a hot take. Of course. It was like, joke. Oh, this was a hot take. Yeah, it was like, this is totally,

this is exactly like it. How we're packed in here. Yeah, anyway. Well, that's where this guy's party was last night. So we made the remarkable discovery that if we simply go outside of the box, there's a nice cool breeze. This is a wine bar that it's at.

Classier's type of establishment, wine, garbage art, hanging from the walls with exorbitant prices on it for some reason. This is someone's house? No, this is at a wine bar. Oh, okay, it is a party at a birthday party at a wine bar. And you know, it's difficult to get drunk

on wine in the first place. Yeah. And it's much more, it's difficult to get drunk on wine in the first place. Yeah. And it's much more, it's even more difficult in the heat. Because you don't want to drink, give me a cold beer in the heat. I'll be drunk faster than I realize because I need to get that cold liquid. Yeah. A nice hot wine smell. Oh, yeah.

Gustling it down. I don't think so. So we found a breeze outside of the train car that the party was in. Step outside, maybe two steps outside, take two steps into the nice breeze, get a little bit of a fluttering on your fucking dress, starch dress shirt that you wish you're going to burn the second you get home. That's now clinging onto you like a, like a gym towel. Take two steps out.

Manage your pops his head out instantly. I'm going to need you to not drink those glasses of wine and the parking lot directly. We could lose our liquor license. Yeah. Yeah. Why? Why did you? What, you know what? Just today, could you risk it for us? Just today. Just today. Why were you not so concerned about putting a fan back here or something? Right. Right. Why is this? Why are you the fucking go- why are you the fucking liquor goblin? Why are you the patron saint of liquor who has to have ultimate control over where I take this

small amount of liquid to drink that I already fucking bought? That's weird. Every time the guys that stop you from taking the liquor that you bought, where you want to take it to drink, it's almost down. Well, I've got what go. There must be very specific like statutes or the wording where it's like on the restaurant premises only, even if they like own the parking lot and the whole plot of land. I gotta be inside the building. It's so weird. But so the patio was enclosed, like truly enclosed, which is such a fucking terrible idea because it's Southern California. The weather's great, 98% of the time.

They're all fucking over and the areas are getting smaller. Where you walk with your liquor that you paid for with your money too much, I might add, that you paid too much for as though there's some kind of invisible liquor force going around revoking licenses instantly For drinking outside you guys just saw you guys serve a 17 year old you're telling me drinking in a fucking parking lot is okay Fuck you I was at a bar in San Diego. I thought I had the greatest idea in the world because I know I'm always trying to stay ahead of the liquor police. Yeah. Get pull one over on them. Sure. Because I just want to walk down the street having a drink.

You know, I'm not going to do anything silly with it. I'm, I, this is, this is the pacifier. If I've got this in my hand, I'm fine. Don't worry about it. It's when I don't have that that I need. It's when we don't have those things that we need them. Okay. You should be going up and down the street, giving guys who look like they're ready to get ants in their pants, giving them beers, give them an O-doubles or something. Give them a 0.1% beer. Happy with it. No, because it's, yeah, it's something. It's going to make you think you're drinking a nice beer. The alcohol, it's funny how that is.

That's totally true. Yeah, that placebo effect. So I say, all right, I was with 80s girls. I'm like, all right. I just bought all these IPAs. They're very expensive. I was down at Lahaina in San Diego. It was a beautiful patio bar.

Yeah, I had a problem with patio. So it's Hawaiian thing. down at Lahaina in San Diego. It was beautiful patio bar. I had a problem with patio. So it's Hawaiian thing. Hawaiian theme patio bar in San Diego. And I had too many to pound before the bar closed. All right, honey, I got an idea. Check this out. You give me your empty glass. And this is what I'm gonna do.

So I'm gonna try to get one over on these liquor wardens. Licker wardens, that's what they are. Liquor wardens. Always keeping the liquor in prison. The liquor wants to be free. The liquor wants to go outside and have an adventure and meet other liquors and have fun and be your companion, but they want to keep the liquor in the prison

and the little box where they want it to be for no reason. So I say, okay, 80s girl, give me your empty glass. I got an idea. All right. So I take my full IPA and I conceal it. Now I know for some reason these liquor wardens, they're like the Shawshank Redemption guy. They just have a hard on for hassling you. They just get it up their ass that they're going to make an example out of you, right? Sure. I knew which I knew already. I'm like, if I try to just scoot out of this bar with this beer, hiding this beer, he's gonna get me for sure. And it's straight back to prison for my friend, this cup of IPA.

IPA. So I get the brilliant idea of doing this. I grab another glass, and I have both of them, like I'm trying to hide this other glass, right? With one hand, so I go, oh, I'm trying for us to, the old dusty trail. I get to the, I see that he sees me trying to abscond with it and I stop at the front, take the empty glass

and pretend to drink out of it and then put it down. And then I say, okay, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Thinking that I've, thinking that I've gotten away with it. Mm-hmm. But they're the stupid liquor wardens liquor sense kicks in. And he chased, he chased me all the way down the street. Like two bars down, saying, sir, you can't leave with that beer.

I'm like, what is, what has come over you? What do you mean can't leave? I'm out. I'm out. I'm already out. You have no jurisdiction here. None whatsoever. You stupid, you stupid ass.

I guess maybe stealing property. I mean, yeah, he's a vigilante at this point. A liquor vigilante. You're, you end, you are like a guard dog. Your jurisdiction ends at that property. I'm not chasing me down the street. You're the length of your chain, right at the front door. Yeah.

I said, all right, I walked back to the bar, chugging the whole thing, dropped the empty glass, I'm like, I hope you're fucking happy. Yeah. You shit heel. Buddy, fucking liquor wardens. Ah, all right. I'm gonna play a little song.

All right. I'll play a play a little song. All right. A little tune here. This is about, this is, uh, Freest Peaches by L.A. Arson. He's got a new EP out August 3rd. Same date as the Astero's show canos. Pre-orders start Monday, July 30th. So I get that's tomorrow.

So by the time this is out, this is already ready for pre-ordering. It's called borrowed memories. And it features their, ah, features their first cover song. Oh, everybody knows Zellie Arson. He's the guy who put together the Asterios AID album. Yeah. A very talented musician.

He's got an album coming out called borrowed memories. Pre-orders start, Monday, July 3rd. The album is ready to pick up on August 3rd. You gotta buy it and go to the Asterios Chocanos. There you go. And then talk about it. The entire night, which track is your favorite?

Which one did you identify most with? Which one is the best track to fuck to? On your squeaky bed, these type of thing. Here's the song it's called, Freeze Peaches. On your squeaky bed these are the things. Here's the song it's called freest peaches Talking all day in front of The Electric No one can tell me what to do unless I say

Something bad about you Then I lose my job to my wife What to do and let the say something bad about you Then I lose my job to my wife Public mob mentality took my life Then I lose my job to lose my wife Public mob mentality took my life Makes me rage Freedom of speech now freedom

From consequences killing it slowly This thing, I'm thick and thin Freedom of speech, not freedom From consequences, pleasing the class of The permanent, the offended Gonna kill the next one, telling me that phrase It shows my girlfriend, her calling me gay I piss on Root Man stand and have those games.

But then I say something from the list of things you cannot say. Then I lose my job. Then I lose my wife. Public mentalities took my life. Then I lose my job to lose my wife. Public mentalities took my life. Make me ray Is he Australian no

You obviously wrote this in a hurry. I mean, that in a good way. Yeah. I'm thinking by you. Freedom of speech, not freedom. From consequences, feeling of slowly existing. I kind of like this song. Me too.

Freedom of speech, not freedom. From consequences, pleasing the class of the permanence. Leoffended. song Me Too! There you go. Pick up borrowed memories. August 3rd pre-orders Monday, July 3rd. Did you see the freedom of speech parrot that somebody made? No. Of me. Uh-uh. I think somebody... I think some people thought that my attention to that topic was overdone. Oh yeah. When he load up this, Mr. D the Dank made a commercial.

He took this old 80s commercial about a parrot that will repeat what you say. And then he took clips from the episode and from the Freedom of Speech parrot to put it in there. Secret. Don't forget her anniversary again. And everything you say, she's gotten a repeated.

Freedom of speech doesn't mean freedom from consequences. So now some fun with Chan Patty. She's the parrot that talks back. Freedom of speech doesn't mean freedom from consequences. Ah! Just have a sensing microchip. They're instantly record your voice when you start talking. Don't make me the broccoli. Then repeats what you say. I'm just out of sentencing microchip. Yeah. Don't make me the broccoli.

I'm gonna drown the next person that tells me that. Here it's got some. Oh, before it's back. How fucking proud of yourself for you that you endlessly repeat up. Is this a meme that you read on the fucking internet? Freedom of speech doesn't mean freedom from Christophe Wences. And still keep it fun. Younger old. Take 2.5 give us a tear.

You get like five cents every time you say that. You stupid motherfucker. Get your Shady Patty. The talk back period today for only 14.99. But wait, call right now and you can double your order. That's a freedom of speech doesn't mean freedom. The consequences. It's an angry parrot.

Yeah. Yeah. Freedom of speech doesn't mean freedom from consequences. There you go. Very good. Mr. D the dank. Oh boy. Yeah.

The creativity is strong with this group. That's what you need. Yeah, apparently. You need a little everybody needs their own personal sound board. Yeah, I think I got some comments here. You hit this is from a drag queen. I was talking about brides. Oh, okay.

That show. How they ruined my enjoyment of a drag show. Yeah, just I'm just a straight guy out on the town wanting to see some men dress up as old women and sing and lip sync to them, dance around, see what's going on with the, see what's going on with the penis area, see what kind of tuckings going on. Yeah, trying to enjoy a nice night of drag queen shows, you know, a little sauce, nothing wrong with that.

Nothing wrong with that, but these brides, they march up, like they're like, they're having their own dog show. They're having their own show and tell these brides. You've got to pay such, you've got to pay such special attention to all of them as they march around in their troops as they stumble around drunkenly and loudly in their troops, ruining everyone's evening. Drag queens as you hit the nail on the fucking head. If you ask any queen who they hate, who they most hate performing for, they

will always say bachelor parties. They think they own the world and they take their traveling sloppy attention gathering circus too far. They generally get kicked out and some clubs won't even allow them. They won't even allow them, Sean. Yeah. They won't, they won't, they allow in clubs. Did you say bachelor parties or bachelor? Bachelor ret. Yeah, I was gonna say, we were talking about bachelor ret parties.

Yeah. People at the club paid to see the clown with his dick taped to his asshole, Brenda. Nobody came here to see you and your land whale friends make fools of themselves. Ooh, that's true themselves. That's true. That's absolutely true. Stephen says, Hey, Dick Stephen here, you and Sean seemed really interested to know the

trans orgasm situation. That's true. Yeah. Most post op trans women are able to successfully orgasm at the same rate as a natural woman. Wow. How is that possible? The same rate as a natural woman. Wow. How is that possible at the same rate? Like how much you buy them jewelry and they would be. Oh!

But they use the penis, right, to make a vagina. Yes. More or less. I mean, that's like a very coarse way of putting a layman's way to put it. But like, you have an orgasm because there's a part of your dick that is very sensitive. So if that's intact, why would it not work the same way? Well, I guess, yeah. That's just, and what?

Well, shooting in the dark here. I need more information. The nerves from the head of the weiner. There we go. Okay. Are used in creating a clitoris. Okay. And in the case of a penile inversion,

the shaft nerves are analogous to vagina nerves. There is a chance that the nerves don't function after surgery. So that's kind of a traumatic, I mean, you know, nerve regeneration takes a long time. That's traumatic. Well, I mean, I get my penis chopped off a couple times a year. It's not that traumatic. I would guess that there has to be some kind of nerve regeneration. You know, they do probably do their best not to fuck it up, but that's I

had lung surgery and it took right right down you had a glory hole and you breathed in too much. Yeah, and from the the middle of maybe my sternum all the way down, for I would say two years after this, I could rake my fingers across like my stomach and not feel a thing. It could be back though?

Yes, I got that on my wrist. I had a surgery so long ago. They came back, but the nerves were traumatized somehow. And it was weird. It was like, well, they didn't do surgery on my stomach or chest or anything, but it affected all of that. Yeah, it couldn't feel anything.

I saw this weird documentary a long time ago where a guy had to get his nose rebuilt and they cut like they made him a little nose and then to put skin on it. They went, they cut off like a nose shape on his forehead and turned it around and put it on his nose. Seriously? And then after a while, like he said, when he itched his nose at first or when he scratched his nose at first, it felt like he was scratching his forehead. No way. Like six months when he scratched his nose, his brain remapped it to his nose. Oh, that's bizarre.

Yeah. That's really weird. There is a chance that the nerves don't function at surgery. So a physical orgasm wouldn't be possible. Some's trans people opt out of surgery for that reason. That would be man. But if it works right, it's possible. Very interesting. As for how the orgasm feels, the hormone therapy, which you are required to undergo before the operation, has a significant impact on how the orgasms feel Even if you don't have the operation trans women report that the orgasms shift from the one and done burst that men have Really the shift from yeah, is that how it works for men one and done? I've well, I mean for a minute for a while. I mean depends. That's interesting

I'll go like 12, 13 times, just one night. I flood the room. What, waiting 30 seconds in between? Yeah, I mean, maximum, I'm sure. Birds that men have to the waves of pleasure that women talk about. Many of them also being multi-organized. What?

Wow, I guess that's. That's crazy. So yeah, it's totally, it is, it becomes a waves of orgasm with no defined end. Wow. That women are all, huh. Anyway, Clay sucks, please never have him on the show again. See you in Atlanta.

All right, buddy. Let's see if I got any more comments. And Top Gay wanted to call me too. Let me see what you want to talk about. Hey Tanner, what's up, man? You there? Anybody can hear me? Yeah, what did you want to talk about?

I forget, remind me. Oh, I was just calling because I was telling you that I got a whole bunch of dickheads here for a barbecue and watching you fucking livestream. Oh, that's great. We're at, we're up in Tigard, Oregon. Quick question, though. Do you have a mole on your forehead that I'm just now noticing after 113 episodes?

Or do I have something on your forehead? Right here. The little black thing. Am I pointing at it right over my right eye? Yeah, I got a mole there. That's so weird. I never noticed that either. Nope. Yeah, I'm not saying eye? Yeah, I got a mold there. That's so weird. I never noticed that either Yeah, yeah, I've never noticed it before do I get that looked at not I mean I don't I don't think so

No, it's pretty tiny, but yeah after 113 episodes you think I would yeah, I would have seen it before That's my bad side. I always try to avoid it. That's so Yeah, I would have seen it before. That's my bad side. I always try to avoid it. That's so fun. You know how paranoid you can be about. But you don't have a bad side. Oh, this is...

I've never noticed that before. No. It's been the same forever, right? Yeah. So it's, yeah, it's fine. The worst thing a woman ever did to me was lying in bed with me and telling me the moles that are possibly cancerous that are basically all over my body. Yeah.

Like, what the fuck are you doing to me? Yeah. Why would you do this? I'm never gonna go get them looked at. I can't even get the oil changed. I'm like, car is definitely more important than me. I'm not going with a fucking dermatologist. Now, I'm just stuck with this forever.

Thanks a lot. Get out. Hey, guess what I've never had to deal with this man, dick. Yeah. Women. Yeah. Do you ever get, let me ask you this. Let me ask you this is a gay man.

Have you, have one of your partners ever been reading the computer or looking at their phone and side, you're doing something else, you're watching TV, you're on your phone or doing something and then they just go like this. Huh, that's interesting, out loud. Oh yeah, that's what I'm going to be doing. As if to say, huh, do you want to know as if they want you to ask with, huh, and then they keep doing it. Well, and then if I don't ask, it just gets louder.

And I do ask they're like, they act so surprised. Oh, what, what, what, oh, you heard what? Yeah, this is just so fast. Oh, you want to know what I'm doing? Straight men and gay men have a lot more in common than they have differences. I have a, I think so too. As we're all men, Sean, I'm always a whole,

wherever I choose to paint my canter. So that's the matter one way or the other. That's what happens in this house. 80s girl goes, oh, how about that? And I start running. I just break through the front door, get in my car, and I start running away and she runs after me going louder and louder.

Huh, hey, that's interesting. Huh, hey, look at that. Huh, huh, how about that huh how about that how interesting how interesting and I'm running down the street to get away and she's laughing at a dog picture this is the funniest thing I've ever seen oh my god oh my god I gotta post this I gotta post this right away I'm gonna send this to your mom she she'll love it! Ha ha ha ha ha!

I'm diving off the cliff, throwing myself off cliffs. Get away, no you bitch, I'm not gonna see it. I don't wanna see this shit. She's following in a hang glider. Ah! Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha! Years later, I'm hiding in a basement, the guy,

and she shows up like the beginning of Inglourious Bastards with a German accent and milk farmers on the I'm like, oh just get rid of her. Yeah, I don't want to look at a fucking phone I don't want to look what she's looking at. I don't want to look at the picture. Fuck get rid of her. Get rid of her I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And then they have this drawn out dialogue in a language. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, and she's like, you know I I'm just seeing something interesting. Yeah, I want to know if anybody hears it and wants to see it. Do you?

And the milk farmer's like, hmm, no, not really. It's like, ah, I don't want to believe you. Mm-hmm. And then I break it anyway. Under the floorboards. Yeah. Under the floorboards. What makes you guys a rage at your, at your get together there?

Tanner. Well, I'm off in a separate room. What makes me a rage is I'm the only one who seems to know how to make pork ribs while everyone else sits around and I got a call. So I hope they're figuring out the ribs, but there was actually something else that made me really want to talk about last week. There was a discussion about your boss who makes jokes around you and how it's just when you want to put a nail through your head. Yes. I am the boss of where I work. Okay.

The difference is I don't make jokes. I don't really want to fucking interact with them. What sucks is when I have to go into the break room to get my food or whatever it is. And they try to make a joke with me or ask me about the weather or my fucking cat or whatever in my sense. And I'm like, I'll tell you the work.

I don't pay you to ask me a question. Yeah, just shut up. And I don't care about your kids and I don't care about whatever you want to talk. And then it's like this awkward interaction because I have to pretend like I give a fuck because or else the HR girls on my ass. You know what, we need in all office places,

we need to revert to the star system. It's totally independent of pay. It's totally independent of HR. But if you did a good job today and you didn't bother anyone, everybody starts with a star. But then if someone bothered you that day, you get to go to the starboard and remove their star because they were being, they were making bad choices today. So if you leave the office and you see that you didn't get your star today, someone took it off anonymously, then you need to go think about your life and your sense of humor and your enane questions and the jokes that you're trying to get people to ask you about that you're looking at on the internet.

You know, Dick, I'll throw that up to flagpole. We'll see what you get. You're the boss. Just make it happen. With the star chart. Yeah. It's why you're in the position. Yeah. You know what happens when I'm not there?

What? HR girl comes into my room to clean like you've complained before. Yeah. And so when I go to sit down and start listening to the latest episode of Dick, and it just starts screaming out really loud. Love dick to dick to dick to dick to all the whole process. He isn't coming from my room. Good like explaining that. He's not the only one who's had to explain that. I know people have been full volume, you know, in a meeting or something.

Don't have a key on? Oh yeah, I'd have any key on. Yeah. It wasn't working. It happened to somebody on Reddit. I think it was subsonicon. Yeah, it wasn't working. It happened to somebody on Reddit. I think it was Sub-Sonic Sparkle. They had their phone started, like they tried to play the episode and it was buffering too much. So they just threw their phone in their locker and then it loaded like three minutes later and it's some kind of locker room situation. That is the worst.

Whenever if 80s girl and I are in a fight, I'll be all serious, right? Doing one of those fights, like I'm real serious, I'm not having it. Nothing is fun and life to me. And I'll open up my laptop. I'll have left the volume on. I'll go to the YouTube page for the show to upload something and it'll start playing the theme song.

God damn it. Fuck an asshole. It's such a good mood now. That's a good mood now. But you didn't hear that. You didn't hear that. I'm laughing all angry. We're still hiding.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Because then she knows I'm not, you know, I'm doing fun stuff. Like, okay, you fucker, you're not in a bad mood. Right. All right, Tanner, get out of here. Go have fun with your, with your pork. Okay.

Yeah, go save the pork from sizzle up that pork. Before somebody fucks it up that before somebody fucks it up Someone's got a fucking do it right. Yeah, so pork ribs. Do you pressure cook first? No, I just put I just wrapping up in foil and throw them in the oven. Okay. Oh gotcha All right, good luck Thanks. Yeah, I real quick before I leave yeah, I shout out to Eric out the task in here. All right, good luck. Thanks. I was real quick before I leave. Yeah, I shot her up to Eric Wong. He sent me the same, the same mat that you play your magic on.

He sent to me and he signed it. And now I'm going off in my office, thinks he's my boyfriend. So that's the way. Hey, that's a good boyfriend. I know, right? He's too better than Eric Wong. Someone asked me if he was squeaky to have sex with because he's so hairless

Now you're to think of that anyway, it's just the bed. I'd see you See, uh, have you seen the Eric Wong playmatte the magic the gathering it? No, like can you grab it? I get to show it to you. You haven't seen it? The guy with the magic cards all over his dick. Oh, no, I've heard about it, but I haven't seen it. I've heard about it. Okay, she'll bring it in. Let me see Britonies here. Let me see if Britonies are ready.

Hello, Ms. Britonie Ventia, are you there? Yes. Hello. Not mentally though. Not mentally, why is that? Either way. Where are you mentally? Thinking about Tanner and his pork party that he's having?

Was that, I was listening in and out. Was that guy gay? Yes, he's the top gay. I can tell because it sounded like he had a dick in his mouth as he was talking. Oh boy. Oh my. I don't think he has a crown in his spine. That's how he sounded. Well, he may have, we didn't see him.

You know what, if he did, good for him. That's great. Why not always, if that's your thing, why not always have a dick in your mouth, right, Sean? Do what you love. Here's Eric Wong. Here's the playmate we're talking about. Oh my God, it's like the American beauty.

And we've been playing on this for months, so now I can't get the image of Eric Wong's body out of my head. Yeah, that's very hairless. That's special. That's a squeaky. All right, Brittany, Laga Morph called in last week and told us a tale. He's telling tales at a school about you and your ex-boyfriend, Forchad. And I think I wanted to let you give you the opportunity to clarify

anything if you did want to do that. Yeah, so I was pretty surprised. I was like, I saw on my Twitter feed and I saw Lagan War and you and my feed. And I was like, wait, what the fuck? Why am I on this podcast again? And Lagan War has told me about you before. That's actually how I know about you. I mean, everyone's seen the infamous video of, you know, but he was telling me about you and like the whole fight thing, setting up the fight and then nothing ever happened with that. And so I was like, oh, he's on a show.

Okay, and then I went and I streamed. I didn't really put too much thought into it. I dammed him. I was like, oh, you guys talk about him. He was like, yeah, it's at this part of that episode. So then I had streamed. I went to stream and I get people donating me being like, is it true that Furchad choked you?

Is it true that Furchad is asked by a bartender? I was like, wait, what the fuck is going on? Yeah. I had no idea where it was coming from. And then someone told me, hey, go check out this episode at this time stamp. And so I had my friends look for it while I was streaming.

And then we listened to it afterwards. And I was like, oh, my fucking god. I didn't even want to talk about the fucking break up at all. But now I kind of have to. OK. Yeah, I mean, Lagomorph's going around telling these tall tales. Yeah. I mean, he told something so I was the truth. I went to, because there is multiple people there. It was actually on 4chads 21st birthday.

Okay. So, so anyone who doesn't know 4chads, Sean, the guy who is in the room with me. He does he barely has a computer He's like on on it. Come on. He does any he uses Bing. That's what that's how behind the times he is Can you explain to him who for chat is and anybody else? He's a he's a guy that I met at when do and we dated for about a year and a half when do is He will not divide us. Yeah. Yeah. So remember when,

Shirelabuff had that dumb flag. Oh yeah. And you got, and Brittany, you got arrested there, didn't you? No, I got arrested at the Mayday protest. I was months later. Oh, okay. I want to hear about that too,

because that's the arrest picture of you getting tossed around, you thrashing around with the police is how I initially hear. It's a great picture. I don't think so. I don't think you're gonna look that good once you start kicking several people off of you

and you're literally in a mob fight like 1v10. And I think you're gonna end up looking that good and after having like a bucket of water poured on you as well. Yeah, but it's like one of those file footage pictures of somebody smoking 50 cigarettes. Like if you're getting arrested, you don't want a picture of you going peacefully. You want to look like they barely have you under control.

Well, I was happy about, I saw, because there was literally like fucking photographers taking photos of me like paparazzi. So I was like, okay, I'm gonna be smug as fuck. So that's how that picture turned out, but there's so many photographers. I didn't know which one like the one that took the photo Amanda up being like one that wasn't looking at so I look real silly, but I look smug. So it's okay. It's I was smug. Okay, so you met forechad this gentleman at a he would not divide us. Yeah, Protest. I mean it's less of a protest and more like a

zombies chanting a mantra thinking it makes him a good person. Yeah. Over and over. But yeah, I met him there. Okay. We started dating shortly after that, you know, exchange, we exchanged numbers and let's see birthday was, you could do the math. It's when do you ended in January, I believe, and then his birthday was in June. So it was that much time later after I was dating, that incident happened that lagamore.

Yeah, and then the lag was going to get you to stream a stereosis fight, right? Boxing match? Yeah. a stereosis fight right boxing match yeah did you ever see that boxing match by the way no oh you didn't see him fight the Donald mod no it's a great fight I didn't know what happened it did they they both called in I guess sometime after maybe immediately after you tried to get him to fight they called into the show and they both got so heated screaming at each other that war the fanboys, the Donald mod drove to New York.

They found a 24 hour UFC gym and they tried, they attempted to beat the hell out of each other that night. War the fanboys showed up with a woman who was pretending to be a cat and had a little spray bottle. She was spraying everybody she didn't like. And then Asterios proceeded to beat the living hell out of the Donald mod who was dancing around like a ballerina the entire time.

It's a good fight. That sounds interesting. Yeah, I'll send it to you. Okay, so that happened. What happened at the bar? Forchette, your boyfriend gets his ass grabbed by a bartender or did that not happen? Yeah, see. Initially, when someone approached me on stream about that before I'd watched it, this happened, keep in mind, this happened like a year ago, like almost one year ago, because it was in June.

So over a year ago, but I didn't remember the, I mean, to be fair, everyone was drinking that night. I wasn't drunk or anything, but, you know, just something to keep in mind to 21st birthday. I didn't recall the ass-scraping thing, but apparently that is what happened. Maybe like that happened, I didn't see it, and I was just mad about the bartender, because I did see the bartender. There's a gay bartender, any touched forechad, like on the shoulder, like in a certain, I don't know how to say like it in a certain way where you're like trying to come on to someone. And this bartender was giving him free drinks.

And I understand the point of view of someone wants to get free drinks or whatever. Yeah. But like after a certain point, you can't keep leading people on. Yeah. It comes kind of a red flag kind of suspicious. And I felt like that was happening. But like after a certain point you can't keep leading people on. It comes kind of a red flag kind of suspicious and I felt like that was happening. So you thought you thought 4chad was leading on the gay bartender for free drinks?

Like something that we all hate when women... He was letting it happen, yeah. Absolutely. Sean, have you ever led a man on for it like, whoo who, no, I have, like bent over and picked up your wallet and let your, like your pants fall down over your crack a little bit. It's never happened. To get a free drink. Yeah, that's the thing you don't do that.

I don't know if you guys know this or not, but Portrad actually told me a story once where he went to a bar and this guy bought him a drink and he just wanted to take the free drink. But then he said when he took it, the guy like touched his butt, this is like a different separate incident. So apparently if you take drinks off the gay guy, so like feel you up, you're just like there's, yeah. If you get offered a drink, say no if you're not interested or else don't just take the free fucking drink. That's, you're not clever by doing that.

You're fucking up the social customs, Sean. Okay, so after he was leading the gay bartender, is that what the, is that what the fight was about that you guys had? Yeah. He wasn't really like, I took him outside and again, I don't know if the ask everything I but apparently it did because I saw like a DM between him and someone else where he said that That it did happen so from his perspective happened then I had I talked to other people that were there There was like I don't know like five people or so there that were a part of the Wendy groups everyone knows each other

Okay, and I was talking people that were witnesses to all this Wendy groups, everyone knows each other. And I was talking to people that were witnesses to all of this happening, they said, yeah, that happened. So apparently that happened. Okay. Maybe I just didn't know a time but I was just mad about the shoulder thing. That's what I remember. And there's a few things that Lagamorph got wrong.

So. And mad about a guy flirting your boyfriend, flirting with another guy to get free drinks. If I'm at a bar with my girlfriend and she's flirting with a guy that wants to plow guy to get free, free drinks. If I'm at a bar with my girlfriend and she's flirting with a guy that wants to plow her to get free drinks, like, bitch, I'll pay for those fucking drinks. I got a big problem with what's going on here.

You're not saving me six bucks. Yeah, and I feel like that's reasonable, but apparently forechadding and, you know, this is something that happened a lot in our relationship where he would get, like, I would have a problem. I in our relationship where he would get like I would have a problem I would approach him and He would start to get angry and then act like almost as if I'm the one who does something wrong

He's angrily reacting to me. Yeah, and then he gets angry and then it blows up So that's pretty much what happened that night That's normal though forgot you should all if a woman approaches you and with a problem You should immediately get angry and yell at her just to make sure she's serious. So I bring him outside and the first thing I remember a lot of morphs saying was he was choking me outside and that's not true. He wasn't choking me. He was actually choking on a giant cock.

Oh boy. Yeah, that didn't happen that night. So then what did happen, I remember, like a morph mentioning, he threw me over his shoulder. Yeah, he did throw me over his shoulder and like walk across the street or whatever. Like, like, I one point, I tried to walk away because I didn't like how he was acting towards me.

And then he like picked me up and placed me back. Like I couldn't walk away because I didn't like how he was acting towards me. Yeah. And then he like picked me up and placed me back. Like I couldn't walk away. You just picked me up and placed me back. Okay. So that happened. Yeah. And let's see. I don't agree with Lagomorph at all when he said that I was egging him on.

That absolutely was not the case. Okay. That's not something I do. I understand that I'm part black, but I'm not black enough to where I get in guy's phases, and I start clapping in the face and doing all that trying to provoke them. I don't do that. I don't even insult. I don't insult.

I don't do any of that. So I absolutely was not egging him on. If I did that, I probably would get hurt from doing that. So you never waived your finger menacingly in a guy's face. Hell no, no, no, no. Spoken gibberish at him. No. These won't, these won't like that.

I will, yes, I will. I can't. Spoken political slogans at him. Never have I ever mushed anyone either. You know when black girls do that, they take their hand and they put it on the guy's face and push their face. Oh, that's called mushing.

Yeah, pushing it against your face and pushing it away. Yeah, that's the thing that gives you guys love. And that's how girls get beat pretty much. Yeah, that's assault. Again, battery. OK, so what did he do? He didn't throw you over his shoulder. He didn't throw you over his shoulder.

He just picked you up and put you back in place. Yeah, and then it led up to whenever, this is the part when everyone was coming outside and because they were like, what hell's going on. And at that point, sorry, I'm sorry. God, I love cities. So, at this point, he's yelling at me. He's going to anger towards me, even though it's not me that did something wrong.

He's not really being understanding for why I would be upset at him leading on a bartender that's trying to hit on him. And then we go towards, back towards the front, like walking towards the front of Barplace, everyone comes out. And by this point, he's yelling at me really loud. And he basically tried to attack me, like run towards me, attack me. And what happened was he pushed me into the street where there was oncoming traffic. He went and pushed me. And that's when the group broke it, broke

it up. They like took him back. They're like, what the fuck are you doing? And they like took him back. And he was still trying to like, go towards me. Well, they were holding him, he was like, I hope you die. And he also said, I hate you. And then, apparently, I mentioned like, like, are you gay? Like something in that context? Yeah. Like, cause the whole situation, among other things, you know, if anyway, um, and he apparently was screaming, I'm not gay. I think I vaguely remember that so I think that part was true okay and he was crying I do remember that crying to favorite part yeah it's always two weeks in a row that's your favorite part I'm not crying in public. A man, a man crying in public, Sean. What are we doing?

You can talk or criticize is so good with the crying, but um. Yeah. Um, okay. So we tried to murder you by throwing you into traffic. I'm not going to say murder because um, but I'm just going to say he tried to manslaughter you by throwing you into traffic and saying I hope you die. Yeah, see, this is what I was like questioning whether I should come on here or not because like when Lagamore told us, I was like, you know, his story sounds pretty bad, but if I go on there and correct it, it's about to get worse. It's worse.

Because he said, oh, you joking. Objectively choking me is less severe than pushing me into the street with all-coming fucking traffic. Yeah, I think every guy can understand a little choking. You know, but shoving, I've never shoved anybody into traffic. No, not even in bed. You know what I'm saying? I've choked a bitch in bed.

And whenever she wants. You know what I'm saying? I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm We're right now. We're broken up forever for sure. Like I don't want him in my life. Okay. But was that the incident that did it or was there something else? No, no, no. There was plenty, plenty, plenty of other things that some people would call abusive. Yeah. No, all people would call abusive. Yeah. I can't really, if see if I sugarcoat it, I'm lying and I don't like lying. So I can't. Don't sugarcoat it. Fuck it. It wasn't. I'm sugarcoated. Fuck it. What's the... Well, the thing is, you have to keep in mind, like, he threatened to sue me.

Like, I literally have a recording of him saying, quote, I have a mother who loves me very much and she has deeper pockets in regard to him suing me. And he also claims to not be a momless boy, which is interesting. After that, so I have to be careful with what I say, but I'm only saying things I have, I can back up. So everything I'm saying, there's evidence for it,

witness for it, and I can back it up. Cause he said he would sue for slander slash defamation, even though I'm telling the truth I'm not lying. So therefore it's invalid. You just be wasting his mom's money Wow, don't fucking sue Don't fucking foreshad call into the show next week area grievances out correct Give your version of the story don't fucking sue don't be a bitch don't sue don't be a maddox i'm wearing a maddox lost shirt because he ruined you destroyed his

entire career trying to sue me over hurt feelings don't sue don't see you can you can you can get over pushing a woman into traffic people will forgive you if you're funny or if you make good music they'll forgive it instantly but they won't forgive a lawsuit because everyone fucking hates it. Don't be a bitch, don't sue. The funny thing is, he wanted, I saw, he was like typing to a lot of our mutual friends, begging them to contact me.

And yet he was talking trash about me to them just telling straight up lie, saying that I was lying about certain things and telling lies about me, about who I am as a core person. Like for example, he was like, oh, everyone go fuck Brittany and stuff like that. Meanwhile, he knows he's the second person I've ever been with.

So he's just straight up lying about so many things. So he's like, opposed to lying. Are you with anybody opposed to lying? Are you with anybody new? Since him? You're very beautiful. I'm not gonna lie. You're very beautiful. That's why I'm asking.

It's no, you know. Thank you, but I said I don't wanna talk about my relationship from like the point of me breaking off with him and onward, because I think it'll cause a lot of complications. Okay. Sean, you know what, do you know what Britney looks like?

Yeah. Hammerhead shark. A hammerhead shark. That's my time. I like, I'm the description. Big fan of Lucy Wilde. I like when the eyes are, I like when the eyes are further apart than the ears

and the woman. Oh boy. And you know what I mean? I have to be on stocks like a snail. Yeah. That's my type. Okay. That guy from ice age slapped some tits on that guy. You don't need to slap tits on him. They already made a female sip the slough. I have a selfie with it, floating around somewhere.

Yeah. Jesus Christ. What a what an asshole. No, but the funny thing is, considering the fact that I come on here and tell the true story like I just did, and it makes the story worse for him. It makes him look worse. He's begging people to tell me to go on there and to help, for me to basically help him out and clear his name up after all the things that I can't even talk about that he's done to me. How old is he? 22 now.

Oh, 22 now. Oh buddy. All right. Okay. Yeah. Imagine someone talk shit about you telling lies to your mutual friends and they're like, oh, but please help me. But please clear my name.

It's like, okay, I'll come on here. I'll tell the truth, but it's not going to do you any favors. Where's his dad? Does he have dad? Honestly, his dad, that year, that right? Yeah, his dad. What's his dad like? I never met his dad. I did meet his mom. She's a bit of a leading heart liberal, like feminist feminism,. Feminist class isn't everything. We don't really, we never got along for obvious reasons. And there's, which is a fucking nightmare, but I'm not going to go into that.

But his dad was never, I never met him, he was never around. Maybe from what I heard, he was in his life, but I never saw him and I lived with him. That's what I thought. That was my hunch. This is just for a forech at. If any of this is true, partially true, even a little bit.

True. You've got to let this girl go. You've got to, you're a young guy. No one will care about this. they'll make fun of you. Maybe you're gay. I think about it. Take a little break and think of them. There's nothing wrong with it.

What's that, Brittany? Oh, I said, I'm not allowed to comment on that. You're not allowed to comment on, are you a, okay. So you cannot, you cannot confirm nor deny, but I'll assume the absence of denial is a confirmation. John, that's how I work. I cannot confirm or deny particular things about his sexuality. Yeah, so maybe you got a little bit of a rage within you that's not coming out in a funny

way. But for God's sakes, do yourself a favor. If any of this, if any of this is true at all, any of it is true. Just don't just forget the girl's name. You've got to just forget the girl's name. The girls will drive us crazy. Especially a girl is hot and red pill that's Brittany is with the eyes so far apart that you just want to look back and forth from one to the other.

Forever feels like two women, Sean. You know, when the eyes that just forget, you got to leave for the fuck alone. Stop talking to her friends. Don't pass any messages on. Just fucking forget it. Take the pill. Take the forgetting pill. Go in your brain and do a little surgery

and do everything in your power to never mention it again, never try to deal with it again because it will fuck up your life. It will fuck up your life like it fucked up Maddox's life. That's how he got sunk into this. That's how he got sucked into this entire idiot, career suicide, mission that he is still on is by obsessing over a chick rationalizing it to himself in any way and well you know people say that he might be gay as well maddox and have a weird have some kind of weird self-loathing bling but forgot forgot sayx forget about her go to burning man and maybe let your gay side out

a little bit try it on and an anonymous environment, and see how it works for you, but leave her the fuck alone, and don't sue. Don't sue, stop pushing people into traffic. And don't sue. Is that what you think, John? Is that people need a dad? Well, that's one and two in life. Don't push people into traffic, and don't sue.

Don't sue. People need a dad. If they don't have dad around, there's no God. And there's no one to hold them to any standard That's a huge fucking problem if dad is if dad is not around Making you afraid of your actions you will behave like an invisible person Well, I think the crime stats back that up do they not no one is afraid of mom. Yeah, no one no one has ever been afraid of mom It's dad that they're afraid of.

And if dad's not around, you better fucking watch it. You gotta find one. Build one yourself. Well, I think I don't think he's obsessed with me. I think it's more like maybe I don't even think he really cares about me and all honesty because he one night after we broke up. And this again, this wasn't over something I did,

it was over him freaking out. I guess I should tell the Tildiard to story for it to make sense. So we were talking and he was talking to me and I was telling him advice because he was like unhappy with his body. He works, for the record, there was nothing wrong with his body, he worked up two hours a day every day every day. He worked out two hours a day. Yeah, almost every day. Doing what? And like lifting. Huh? Lots lifting at the gym. And so, you know,

there's a lot of loud, deep thumping bass coming from the gym. He was working out in so hard every day. I'm out all sweaty. You know, I went there a couple of times and there were guys looking at him funny. Yeah. No joking, but um, he was, he was saying he felt like he was too like skinny. Yeah. Like he felt like a soy way, but he was like, what's the word? It's like dysmorphia basically. Yeah. Yeah. And um And because it's objectively incorrect. But I was giving advice, I was like, listen, if you want bigger muscles, you want to be bigger, you're going to have to eat more calories because you're eating the same amount of calories I do and you're 6'1 and I'm 5'6".

So you can't eat the same amount of calories as me and expect to be big. And I just told him that. And he, you know what he does? He goes and he cooks eggs like in middle of like being manic, like crying and like crying and cooking it. And psychosis basically. He goes and makes eggs in like three seconds, probably a cell phone on the whole fucking internet. And he brings it back, puts it on like and eats it in front of me like yeah like that'll show you type of

aggressively eating and I'm like what why are you proving it to me it's for your own good and then you show you bitch I'm an easy sick oh you love me now okay Oh, that's a fuck. So you love me now? Okay. I told him, and I told him all the time

that how much I found him attractive, et cetera. So it wasn't an insecurity from me. That would be absurd. But he's aggressively eating at me, and I tell him, what are you trying to prove to me from my eyes? I mean, just the idea that men need to feel attractive is preposterous. We don't. We don't ever need to feel good about the way we look.

Funny? Yeah? Smart? Well, I'll take it, but good looking. I know that's not true. So then he's eating. And as he's aggressively doing it after I make my call, he stops.

And he gives me a long stare after I say I'm not them here what are you trying to prove to me. And then he loses his shit, takes the plate outside, smashes it on the floor, I have like a photo of it, I have like evidence of all this shit happening again. Anything I'm saying I have something to back it up. She's playing to back it up. He takes the plate, smashes it with the eggs on it all on the floor and he starts to scream, and then he comes back in the room after he has his tantrum screaming.

I don't remember if this was the time he put a dent in my wall or if it was a time before, but he started, he had his head, he put a dent in the wall, and then... He hit his head. Yeah, there's a dent. I'm looking at his arms. His arms he put it that in the wall. And then, uh, He hit his head. Yeah, there's that, I'm looking at his arms. And his arms were too noodly in the week. Sorry, sorry. I think it's some egg protein. And I'm before I took a swing at the wall, I guess.

That's a red flag. Yeah. And you've got to ever hits a wall around you again. Just give it to them. Yeah, he's unscrupulous. Yeah, I know better for a nice time. There's no end to that mystery. It just comes complicated when you live with someone

after a certain amount of time. Things get a little sticky. But so this is basically the final show of what broke us up. Yeah. This is the story I'm telling. So he comes back in the room after having his tantrum. He's still pretty much in psychosis.

And he pulls up a picture from him at a beach from like a year ago when we went to the beach. He was on a workout break, like he didn't work out for like three months. And he doesn't look like that. He just has a normal guy body. Like he has decent bone structure and everything. Like so like most people look at it

and they're like, what's your problem? What's wrong with it? But like he shows me the picture, he's like, so you're saying that I look like this right now, and I was like, there's nothing wrong with that. And then before I can even finish my sentence, he just starts screaming again. Whoa, and then he starts like kissing his phone

with the picture on it and then like, he gets saying, I'm so beautiful. I'm so beautiful. Because I told him he looked fine. He was like, I'm so beautiful. I mean, this is like Buffalo Bill level insanity. Kissing, I want to, I fucked me. I'd want to fuck me making out with him himself in front of you.

I mean, like you don't realize how actually you realize it's insane when it's happening, but you don't realize how insane it is until afterwards and you can recollect and reflect everything, you know? Yeah. Maybe you're right, if Sean ever starts licking and kissing a photo of himself during the show, maybe I won't think it's so insane at the time. Shoot me on the head. Just clearly things are not right.

Just reach back and grab this gun, and shoot, blow you away. Clearly things are beyond able to be fixed in that case. Just put me down, put me down. What's the over under on this guy turning into a woman? Excuse me? What's the over-under on this guy getting a sex change? Say, even, e50-50, you think?

I can't make a comment on that. Oh, interesting. Yeah, I would, I'd go over 50. Yeah. Not no judgment of anybody who does it, but like some people seem to have something genuinely wrong with them that is relieved by it. By it.

I assume I don't know, I'm not a fucking doctor. I definitely agree with you, but no comment. Anyway, yeah, so he starts doing that and it gets really fucking crazy to a point where I'm like, I'm like, listen, if you don't calm down, because he's doing things that you should absolutely call the cause. I'm like, listen, if you don't calm down, I'm going to have to call the cops.

And I've had to call the cops two other times before. I won't really go into it, but obviously there's a record of me calling the cops. And that's when he was really mad and he ran out. And then that's what officially like kind of close off the relationship. There was kind of like teetering after that, but we both knew he was going to go back to where he lives, which is not in this state.

And the relationship would be over. What a fucking lunatic. Good for you. Yeah, there's definitely a lot of points before I recognize that I should have left. But uh, so what? Get it good for you not getting murdered. I like to congratulate the afterals on that.

Yeah, not getting murdered yet. We sure we had that after. Yeah. But what I was getting to, the reason I had to tell a story, not only is it relevant, but it also leads up to the next part of me mentioning like he wanted me to go on here and clarify, but one night after we broke up, like when we were like officially done done done, like no tea to be back like we were like guaranteed done. It was one night and he goes and has a hook up with a Tinder thought. One night.

Good. Get rid of them. It's like, wow. Imagine that. He's going around telling people like, implying I'm a whore. Oh, everyone go fuck Brittany. Yeah. But knowing who I am as a core person, that he's second person I've been with, but then he goes and fucks a Tinder thought one night after a breakup. Are you upset about that? Are you upset about him hooking up with a Tinder hoe? I'm not like, if you're asking if I'm jealous, no, I'm not jealous because I'm dumb with him.

Like he really fucked me up. He really fucked me over and so many way. Like I'm in with him. Like he really fucked me up. We really fucked me over in Sony. Like I'm in an apartment, his name was on the lease. I'm in an apartment that I wasn't supposed to be in by myself. He just generally in Sony was up there. So no, I'm not like Joe's about that, but what I am mentioning it for is like, it's like, wow, do you even care about a person?

Like the whole list of whole relationships, a lot like do you even care? No, you've gotta go. And first of all, I'm gonna say no. It sounds like some people find it very difficult to care about anything outside of them other than like this weird alleviation of a dark sinking feeling they have in them at all times.

And like you're just a tool to get rid of it. I've dated some girls who were like that. And they, those relationships were over very quickly. But the only way they can survive is by immediately finding somebody else who can fill that need. Like, it's, that's the best thing that could happen to you. It's immediately getting his hooks into somebody else

who can't see the red flags. Yeah, but it was a tender thought in a completely different state. Like before he went back home, he hooked up with someone. So it's not like even attention of anything. It's just like, well, I'm just gonna do that. Like I would understand, like if I did him wrong,

like if I did something wrong to him, I hurt him, I abused him, but like that's just not the case at all. I did something wrong to him. I hurt him. I abused him. But like, that's just not the case at all. I always had to be there. I always had to be as calm as possible. Like, sometimes like my voice would go up. I had to be like, especially during these meltdowns, I had to be as calm as possible. Cause I feed into it. It gets worse. So I'm describing dealing with someone who has borderline personality. It's like you're describing dealing with someone with a cluster personality and how it's fucking up your brain.

It's like textbook stuff. Yeah, there's definitely a lot of obvious things, but I would say more of maybe narcissism than a... Yeah, they're all bad. They're all bad. We spend too much time trying to analyze why someone is fucked and just instead of figuring out how to get away from them as quickly as possible And I should have definitely gotten away as quickly as possible But like I'm like because I love this person. I live with this person. I want to try to help them

I want to try make them better. No, not your job possible I know it's not but I felt still obligated to try to help them. I want to try to make them better. No. I'm not your job. I'm not your job. I know it's not, but I felt still obligated to try. Well, see, that's why it's so hard to build Trump's wall, because everybody feels the same way about legal Mexicans as you feel about Forchhead. So you got to practice what you preach, sister. Build a wall. Fuck them.

It's his problem. He needs to stay in his country. Build it up. I guess so. Yeah. Well, thank you for setting the record straight. I usually, I have a bunch of questions. I usually ask people who call in, but they're, I don't know if they apply to women. Like, do you pee over, do you, do you pee through the fly or do you pee over your waistband? I would say not applicable. Not applicable. What are you-

It's just in my gender. Yeah, I do a lot of that. Are you a titser and ass man? I usually ask. Everybody, do you have an answer for that one? Am I a titser or ass man? Yeah, do you like to- I guess women are basically manlets with tits and ass, so.

Yeah, which one do you prefer? Which one do you do prefer on? I would prefer. I think objectively, it makes more sense to be an ass person. Okay. For women, not for men, but yeah. Okay. And finally, what makes you rage?

People who think they're right and justified and treating other people like shit. Yeah. Even though they're not doing anything to cause that. So it's like basically manipulation and you force other person to act like they're sorry when they do nothing wrong. That's pretty infuriating. Infuriating.

Um, yeah, I gave you that one. All right. Thank you for calling in. Where can people find you? By the way YouTube.com slash Brittany Venti or on Twitter Twitter.com slash Brittany Venti. I stream on my YouTube channel. How do you spell Brittany? Does everybody know how to spell Brittany except me? Well, if they He's coming that was for chat Well, if they, oh God, he's coming. That was for chat. I know that's coming. He's hanging.

He's crying and screaming and licking pictures of himself and driving like a four chats for wheeling at the sidewalk. Land owls driving him. Drunker than hell. Yeah. We're going to take them take both of us out at once. Yeah. If if if there are Starbucks baristas,

they won't be able to sell my name. But my name is BRITT and why? T-T. That is different. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's the right way to spell it. All right. Thank you very much for calling in. Go check out Britney Martian. Watch out for those guys. I'm going to be locking my doors for sure. Don't let them put any light life will put enough holes in your walls you don't need a guy will help you do it. Exactly. Alright, peace out. Alright Brett, see ya. Whoa. Whoa was right.

There was a lot more than who boy. I wouldn't want to be for Chad in this particular instance. No. Okay, okay, everybody. This has been the Dixho. Patreon.com slash the Dixho. Wait, you cannot do this without telling me about a stereos in the Facebook. Oh, God, I'll tell you after I'll tell you after Captain Jack asked his news because he'll probably talk about it. Okay.

Yeah. This is the Dixho, Dixho.com, the, excuse me, the the dick show.com patreon.com slash the dick show dick.show. Come out to road rage Atlanta. You have a good time. Yeah. They come out to the Astero's show can nose. I can't fucking wait. I'm looking forward to this whole weekend. Me too. Magic the gathering, the grand pricks. We're going to be doing August 18th. Come, I'll teach you to play.

All right. Sean, I'll teach you to play.. All right, Sean, I'll teach you how to play. Okay. What's the worst you could happen? You lose. You start crying and licking pictures of yourself. Winning and losing is not life and death. It's much worse than that. Yeah.

I can't stop laughing at this poor guy. Eating eggs. Do you love me now? Wow. It's... No, I mean, that's... That's the behavior of this. Oh, that's serious mental illness.

That's a serious mental illness. Yeah, that's... He has serious problems. Serious problems. Nice government you have there. How do you handle a guy sobbing and licking pictures of himself while he's eating eggs, screaming a woman in a least they both have uh we don't have an answer for that okay no come back when you do yeah we got to be armed to the teeth who all of us at all times a man you love could start licking pictures of themselves rage eating eggs rage eating eating as he's crying on the phone. He's cooking eggs

Like I want to know if if you know because most people have a preference when it comes to eating eggs It's like yeah over easy or sunny side up or over well I wonder if he bothered to cook them the way he likes them as he's going, you know One more minute the way he likes them as he's going, you know. What a heart minute. I want it over medium, but I can't crank too much. Wow. I'll be talking about it all day. Good God.

I'm not going to add any salt to these eggs. I want them crying in running. It's in one place. No fuck I forgot the toast. Now I'm like hexing an ink gold Damn it I don't even I don't even know what to do with that It's you fucked up too much. Yeah Okay All right, I had more songs to fuck. Oh man. I'll play a couple more songs. No, no, I didn't I mean, I had more songs too, fuck. Oh, man, I'll play a couple more songs. No, no, I didn't, I timed it.

Oh, no. I did. All right, this is called I Am Not Safe State Corrupted by My Room Records. Let me see who's by, I don't want to fuck it up. It's by MCMC. Oh, God, okay. Oh, yeah, that's a good tick. Okay

Never mind me when you used to play Where I am not safe, stay corrupting Mysterious grace Believe me, I-E-M-C-M-C Tuning into the tick-shock While my songs get played Don't you know the corner sevens me It's like a gotta race He shits in his dad's pants with tiny legs and face And then that sneaky crows

It's great! Great music today! Always great, but... I'm not safe, stay cool up to him I said that you were me in the first place I tried, we'd make you straight up fucked It's mess up his, I took a fist-grip I'm not safe, stay cool up to him I said that you were me in the first place

Please, please, leave me, I B M C M C It's me bad, I like to call it to the show sometime again It's like the record straight Yeah That's my room record, singing right now So many names, I make it hard to keep track of While Turkey doesn't seem now To stick you can go fuck yourselves

I am not safe, stay corrupted She will be in the first place We live half way across the country This is something so close to this place We, are easy to make up I know So buy my album, Matt My room records stock I'm not a kid It's funny, I'll save this shit

The dick and say good job, my room would never I submit This mix-up was landmark between my room records and me, and we know the differences. It's something much more quality. The MCMC makes us something to read on.com. Josh Kindall and Hyde and Dick takes his time playing in live. When a certain sneaky creep takes all his credit away,

it says that MCMC is another aim I use as a role way. Made fun of me, I don't mind the mistakes on my behalf. I just wanna make the tickets left. But I'm nervous that the other music makers get discouraged when they make a soft subcantant and immediately have to say that I not say stay corrupted. I try but end up saying fucking, because I guess I'm not say stay corrupted.

All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. Let me right all right all right all right Let me get to this present right now right quick before I before I forget again. This is These are from Emily She sent a Dick bag you see this Sean. It's a very nice pink bag. Yeah, something that a man could never possibly put together in one million years Yeah, this looks very beautiful We both have letters bag yeah something that a man could never possibly put together in one million years yeah this is very very beautiful we both have letters but before you read your letter let me show you what's in this dick bag it is little fuse bead guys perler beads like those little those beads that you

put together in pixel form and then you iron them out. Yeah. Of everybody on the show. That's awesome. Here's you. There's a little U. These are from Emily. That's so cool. Emily and Vuvé. Vuvé, Emily and Vuvé.

That's great. Yeah. There's the U. It's going right in front of the camera. Is it? Well, why not? I mean, do I have it up? Can you see it?

No, no, no. I mean, that's where we should put it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'll figure out some. no, I mean, that's where we should put it. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll figure out some, oh, I could put them down here in the little corner, okay? They're very adorable. Yeah. I felt when I got them out of the bag the first time,

I felt like I was delivering puppies. It's amazing, like, how much detail you can actually get using those, like they're like little pixels, you know? But it's easy to recognize who that is. Have you ever tried to make these things? No Pixily anything I have it's it's the I don't know how they do it But I've tried and everything was like garbage

This looks like a blob like no, okay, you suck at this never do it again. Here's 80s girl. Here's me on the show Awesome, guys. This is Where's the the business card? Japan.co, and she'll make you them. Here's a Pee and Weinerstein. Everybody's favorite, Pee and Weinerstein. And the stands are the best part. Like they're little themed stands.

So that's the old classic Dick Masterson. With, look at this. She's a better, better women. Women cover. And nine pixels or something like that. Eight pixels is so cool. Here is, here's ass farming Sean. See the stand has a little ass on it.

And you have a little pitchfork. Oh. Oh, oh, yeah, that's not how you farm ass, Sean. Immediately reacts. He knows that's not standard ass. Well, look at that little guy. Oh the hat. I'm wearing yeah awesome. Those are great I hope you enjoy this package of mini dicks. This is the first set. I was able to put together I have designs for more of the TDS cast, but I wanted to send these out well

Jamie's here. Let me know there's a little Jamie to see she's got a little number two trophy. Yeah A lot of thought put into these yeah, there's a little GMe too, see? She's got a little number two trophy. Yeah. A lot of thought put into these. Yeah, it's incredible. I'm always blown away by that. It is incredible. I love doing, let me know if you have any requests. I love doing custom work. These were a blast to make and I wanted to send them as a thank you for all the laughs. Love the show.

Keep up the great work. If you want to check out my other Pixel work, check out the card I've provided. There you go. Sincerely Emily Ann Vathom. How about one of somebody's just sobbing and eating eggs? Oh, that's awesome. Get you a imagine. If you knew somebody that did that.

Uh, no, I mean Titanic dick. There you go. Oh yeah. It's face small. Yeah. Smaller than the others. Yeah, yeah. Okay, let's get to the awesome Facebook news. Hello, dick and hello, dick ads. This is the Facebook group news for the last couple days. In one of the busiest weeks in Facebook

group news history, our flag of degeneracy is flying at full mass. To begin, let's immediately acknowledge a giant fuck up by stereos. Those who may not remember Chase, he was a dickhead who recently lost his battle with cancer and had called into the show previously to discuss said battle. Yeah, and where occurrence of a Stereo's promoting someone else's GoFundMe campaign, he posted Chase's GoFundMe with the caption, Chase got married. While Stereo isn't wrong, he was unaware that chase passed away about a month ago. There was even a post in the Facebook group with about 400 F's honoring chase.

A steering mind. A steering mind. A steering mind. A steering mind. A steering mind. A steering mind. A steering mind. A steering mind.

A steering mind. A steering mind. A steering mind. A steering mind. A steering mind. A steering mind. A steering mind. A steering mind. A steering happened? You remember Chase. So he got married. He got married fairly recently toward the end. Yeah, and then he lost the Then he lost his single player battles. Can't see if you're his his his rage was not enough to player co-op games. I remember totally right. Yeah

passed away and Then this week which I was gonna mention last, so Mysterio's thought it just happened. The spirit and didn't realize that he was who knows what he was thinking. He went into the group and posted Chase got married and linked to his go fund me. And quite honestly, that is exactly how I want to be remembered people going people just going on and pretending as though it didn't happen. Yeah. And massively embarrassing themselves with each possible the worst faux pas I have ever seen anyone is I don't think you can get worse promoting someone else's go fun me inexplicably.

Uh, uh, I deleted it on the level of Joe Biden asking the paralyzed senator to stand up. Yeah. Take glasses off, shades. Yeah, Mr. President, he's, he needs those glasses. He's blind. Yeah. Oh, Um, there you go.

Uh, yeah, okay. Yeah, that's, uh, what does he have to go on his face? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha There is a danger in too much plugging. Go fun me. Go fun me's. Who knows why? Maybe he's just excited. Maybe he wanted to mix in somebody else's. Go fun me. So make it look like he wasn't always plugging his own. Yeah. You know? If that was the case, if that was a more cynical man,

that's what I might think. Backfired a little bit. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That's what I might think. Backfired a little bit. Okay. He sure he feels horrible. Oh, yes. I mean, yeah. But I think any dickhead would want that. Any dickhead who left this mortal coil would want the one tremendous hurrah of, he seemed

like a guy who was in good humor. Yeah, you know, I have this, but you know what really pisses me off. Oh, he said he got his cancer from listening to himatics. Is this new show? Is the first thing he said when he called in? Yeah. Oh, that's a bummer. That's a bummer.

That's a bummer, but yeah, that sucks. He really sucks. I was gonna do a memorial rage for him. Oh, yeah. Yeah, last week, but I forgot. Well, it was, you know, and you know what makes me rage is in TV shows when the show, the episode will be over, and then they'll say this episode is dedicated to this person, like the sound designer,

whoever died on it, and then it will be a very happy picture of them, and you're thinking, what, I don't know this guy. Yeah. I'm here to detach from my reality and watch a show about a Jackass's who never age were arguing about salads and soup and people who talk too close, and Jackassery. Idiotcy, I'm here to escape from the certain mortality of life,

don't cap it with a memoriam to a person that is not on the show, that I don't know, that I could not possibly, that I immediately feel guilty over for not feeling anything about it, because I don't fucking know them. Don't end a sign fell episode with this episode is dedicated to so and so and they know that they know that it's fucked because they don't show it with enough time for you to even read anything about them. They don't give you a funny anecdote from their life. It's just a smiling, and they always pick the same smile. It's the smile of someone who knows they're gonna die. Name smile. It's the smile of someone who knows they're gonna die.

They don't pick like a partying smile, like yeah, fucking rock on, man, rock and roll, right? They pick like a soft. I accept it. Yeah. I know it's coming and I accept it. Don't fucking ruin my prime time television. I don't come to your office.

To feel shitty. To tell you shitty things to make you feel bad. Now I'm thinking about calling my parents. Thanks a lot. Yeah. Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot. This rant is in memorial of chase, chase,

glidden. I think you'd be on board with that. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, very sad. Very sad. I was very sad. All right.

All right. One news. Dick had Ben Welch was matched with a woman on Tinder. This woman asked Ben to come over and fuck her while her husband watches He did and here's what we know even to restart that a little bit. No, I got it. Oh, I didn't you would be mistaken Dick had Ben will be a manly apologized and emailed Chase's bride about the mix up If you thought the Facebook group was done rooting marriages for the week, you would be mistaken. Dick had Ben Welch was matched with a woman on Tinder. This woman asked Ben to come over and fuck her while her husband watches.

He did, and here's what we know. While Ben didn't insult the husband when they fucked, the husband was too busy calling her wife a slot during sex. The husband was masturbating in the closet and Ben tried to contain his laughter through the exchange. Ben claimed his dick was bigger than the husband's by about three to four inches and described him as tall and chubby. Afterwards the trio smoked a bowl and talked about musical hair.

Dickheads encouraged Ben to write an erotic story and to get tested for HIV. Finally, we like to end the news this week by announcing our 5,000th member to the Dixiel Facebook group Douglas Powers. Wow. Douglas got an entire post congratulating him for being number 5,000. Hey. However, most of the comments are threatening to leave and come back so that they may be number 5,000.

I almost did that. I wanted to know a little bit more about Douglas. Outside of being told to go fuck himself and to get great We learn that Douglas is an ass man and peace standing up through the fly Congratulations to Facebook group on reaching 5000 contributing members of society. Hi, Ernest this is I'm the show Facebook news for the last couple days Let me see always informative You know, let me see if Captain Jackass is here.

Yeah. Hey, Captain Jackass, you there? Hello, Dick and hello Sean. Hey, buddy. Hello, Captain Jackass. Great news like usual this week. I understand there was an event in the Facebook group this week that I don't think made it into the news. And I was wondering if you had a recap on that.

Yeah, I did. I had a whole bit prepared. It was like two minutes as a lead in or I could have just talked about it. Yeah. Rob, the loving husband. Yeah, right. So pretty much the start from square one. Yeah. Two dickheads that were both married had an affair with each other. One of them is getting divorced now and the other one is going to stay together. But I mean, it was a huge, huge, crazy thing in the group and he robbed it. He was going to come on to the show and talk about it. And then last minute, he told me he didn't want to do it anymore.

Wow. That's a shame. It was, it was funny. An affair happening in the group right before our eyes. Yeah. And there was a giant letter, like an apology letter from the original husband to his wife to try and make up for it. Oh, well, let's see what we can do. Maybe, um, maybe he'll change his mind. Yeah, maybe he'll change his mind. We can talk about it next week.

Yeah, if he doesn't change his mind, I'll throw it in the news next time. But yeah, it was crazy. I mean, she was beautiful girl and Rob was kind of, I don't know how he did it, but it turned out, you know, Rob couldn't get hard, and for about a month straight, he was writing suicide letters on Facebook. It was some pretty crazy stuff, but that's a group, so.

Yeah, that's life. Sean, it's life in the Facebook group. One minute, you're gonna fuck another guy's wife, then the next minute you can't get hard, and you're writing suicide notes. It's just, you know, yeah. Who knows, who knows what's gonna happen? Both things that happen all the time.

You're gonna fuck another guy's wife. Can't get hard. Can't get hard. God damn it, you're fucking conscience. You son of a bitch, you fucked me again. You fucked me again this time. Just give me a second. Give me a second of hardness so I could get it in there

and then I could, then the bad guys will come out and take control of my body. And I don't, but you fucking conscience. You fuck me every time with this. So for some reason, you're the human conscience. Conscious, am I saying it right? The conscience. Jimmy, Jimmy Cricket.

Yeah. The Jimmy Cricket in your body has a bat phone connected directly to your dick. So when it sees anything going on, it doesn't go, there's no due process. It cuts the cable. It just cuts the cable. It cuts the cable. It just cuts the cable. It's called, hello dick, picks up that big red phone. Hello penis, canceled, it's off, it's off. Shut it down, shut it down, you're not, we're not doing this.

It's over and the rest of your brain and the rest of everything is rising. What the fuck? Who gave you this phone? Where do we find this phone and cut it off? Your brain says, I know we gotta get, let's get some liquor and some drugs in, then that motherfucker won't be able to get to the phone, but it gets there every fucking time. Oh, anyway, all right, Captain Jack, yes. Thank you so much for all your news. I look, we look forward to them every week. Oh, yeah, they're very well done. All right, thank you,

gentlemen. All right, let's do some voicemails. I'm, I'm exhausted. Huh. Dick, you know what makes me a rage? I was going to lunch the other day at one of those build your own salad places and I ordered shrimp for the protein and so the lady goes with the scoop to grab some shrimp to put into my salad bowl and for once I was like oh wow that's actually a good amount of shrimp but she felt like I don't feel like I'm being short-change here. It was like a nice amount of shrimp to have. felt like I don't feel like I'm being short-change here. Or like a nice amount of shrimp to have. I don't know what happens.

And obviously she recognized this too because right after she takes the scoop, goes back into my bowl where she put the shrimp and she took some out and put it back into the bin. Oh no! You fucking bitch! You can't do that! You already put it in the crab! Fuck that! That's's mine that's my shrimp every fucking restaurant is that your you pay by the shrimp here you bet if she had done it over the

bin and let some go one thing all their ingredients for one let me have a little extra shrimp no you leave it to me and you took it away took You took it away. Fuck that. It's bullshit. Fuck you. You should have reached over the counter and just dragged her out.

That was your, that was God's way of telling you to start a falling down moment. With Michael, starring Michael Douglas. That's it. You do not, and you watch them too. Prepare those scoops like at the Pokeball places where they're like, they know that they cannot claw it back. They know that. They can't give you a shrimp claw back. There's

no Rico statutes over Pokeballs. So they'll dip into it real slowly, because there's chunks in there and they don't want to give you more, they don't want to give you, they don't want to give you any more than they think you deserve. Fucking fucking human beings. Just to take it out of his bowl. That's crossing a major line. Yeah. No, you fucked up.

You fucked up. And nothing will happen. You're totally fine. God, people. Dick, I saw your Instagram where you were still in the bird scooter. Fucking hell. Oh yeah. You stole the bird scooter. I'm fucking a lair. You stole a bird scooter?

I'm fucking a lair. But why in the last video did you have to do a series of a face? Because you were like, we're all concerned that the cops were going to get you. That's not the big message that I know. No, I just... I think the message that I know it says fuck you bird excuse Yeah, I dragged you bird scooter. I dragged him through the street. I hope that things at the bottom of the fuck Pacific Ocean Take it out to fucking Catalina island

It beeps at you as you're taking it away Sean God on the bonus episode you cheekyy fuck. What do I do? Laugh and tellin' jokes. You're great. Dinger Sean of the finest. Oh, thank you. I'm fuckin' high right now. All right. Bye. That was a fuckin' wacky ass bonus episode. Yeah, that was great though. It was really fun. Yeah, man, I dragged some down the street. I looked like a caveman dragging broads back to my cave. With the birds. To respect. To respect.

Yeah, with the birds. I got two of them. I'm walking down Santa Monica with both of the scooters screaming. I got a bird in the light. The wheels are locked up. They know when you're moving them and they cry for their mom's scooter to come save. Okay. Yeah, they're like baby, baby crocodiles or something. Yeah, through the elevator, people are having normal conversations trying to

ignore the completely drunk individual who's obviously stealing scooters. Do it something. They stop eventually though. They learn to accept their fate. They look eventually though. They learn to accept their fate. Oh boy. They look cool though. Do they? I guess everybody hates them

because people drive them like assholes. Well, they get a little power between their legs. Some of these business types, some of these born cucks, that never felt power in their life ever. They're used to just crying and eating eggs. They feel a little bird power onto their feet and they get goosey. They start slamming into BMWs and then running.

Uh-huh. That's the problem with them. Or they just drive, they drive like pricks. They're like bicycles basically. They drive like pricks and you have to get out of the way, but you're walking as well. So fucks everybody up. That's, I think that's why people hate them. Otherwise, they're cool.

What's up, Sean? Uh, this week's voice mail is for you. Oh. I'm listening to the episode Freedom from Freedom of Feast doesn't mean freedom from consequences. And I think you're confused, buddy. I think that you think that people getting fired from their jobs is tantamount or equivalent to calling someone's mom fat and having them punch you in the face. That's where freedom of speech doesn't need freedom from consequences. Isn't that interpersonal kind of a realm

where you interact with other people? That's where you're not free from the consequences. But we live in a society where the corporation and your job control, they are essentially what the government was. That is hold in touch, I guess. Like they exert an authoritarian force over your life. So freedom of speech should mean freedom of conflict.

I understand the argument. It is fucking Disney, or Apple. Or it is other fucking corporations, or Google, that run everything. It doesn't mean that someone's not going to, you know, not like you anymore. I understood that argument when you first made it without the government coming down on the that's what i'm saying

what is i figure your shit out oh yeah i understand that uh... yeah but do you understand that yes do we have do we have absolute free speech in this country what do you mean do we have absolute free speech or do we have absolute free speech in this country what do you mean do we have absolute free speech or do we have limited free speech in this country what like effectively or due to the constitution no due to the constitution um well see i look at it from the other way yeah i think that the constitution only exists to limit the powers of the government. And in that one case, it says they cannot fuck with you at all.

No. Okay, we have limited free speech in this government. Why? Because it's been, that's how it's been ruled. Oh, over many court cases. That's bad. Fighting words are not covered by the first amendment. Because freedom, you know, things like that,

freedom of expression, you know, we talk about, you said, it's not just free speech, it's freedom of expression. Were you Google, did you Google shit or something? No, no, no, I was thinking about it afterwards. Things that are fighting words is the first one I can think of hate, hate crimes as controversial as they are, or not hate crimes hate speech. I believe is protected. Yes, it is. I believe it's protected as controversial as it is, but something like that, oh, free, certain kitty porn as an expression, something like that, take, you know, naked pictures

of kids, whatever, not covered in the first amendment. Yeah. So we have, we have limited free speech in this country is the answer. And yeah, I understand. I don't think you understand though. What do you, the guy was saying? Get it, I'm not taking the bait anymore. Do you wanna hear that ad again? The ad? What app? What app?

No, I don't wanna get the parrot out again. Okay. Yeah. One more. Would you find the one guy who disagreed with me? No, I just got, I, I, I saw on the, a lot of people did did agree with you today yeah

uh... there's a lot of confusion around it though that i have ever i see people throughout the you can't yield fire in a crowded theater that's a no yeah sure but that's not first of all that is not uh... court precedent

the guy somebody on the supreme court asked that uh... court precedent the guy somebody on the supreme court asked that uh... hypothetically oh it's a high yeah but asked that and the point he was trying to make was that two people distributing pamphlets saying we should the u.s. shouldn't go to war yeah deserve to go to fucking jail

well they clearly don't deserve to go but the guy who is saying they should is saying, what's next yelling fire in a crowded theater? So like, uh, hold up. That's that statement is going to last until the end of time. But the reason you coined it was because you were trying to send two guys to prison. I didn't know that that was the story behind it. Yeah. Yeah. It was, uh, it was an espionage charge that went up to the Supreme Court and one of the, one of the fascists on the Supreme Court at the time through that

one end and it's fucked up the debate ever since. Okay, this is a good one. Hey, Dick. No one makes me a rage, the dictionary. I was browsing through some YouTube videos about Pokemon, like a regular die. I couldn't talk to God, I also add. I forget what the ad was for. No, Crudos to the marketing department God, I'll also add. I forget what the ad was for.

So, uh, Crudos to the marketing department there, I guess. But in the ad, they got a bunch of swaboy tucks to start reading the definition of the word masculine. And they talked about how this definition was bad because it listed aggression and strength as two important masculine characteristics. And apparently that's not inclusive enough. Now, obviously that's dumb, but even if they weren't, it's dumb to complain about. People have this weird idea that the

dictionary contains some induvitable universal truth about society or some shit. Induitable. The definitions have to therefore be as socially conscientious as possible. But the dictionary is just supposed to give you an idea of what a word means if you don't already know. If you already have your own idea of what a word means that you've developed by speaking the language for years, of course the dictionaries are gonna accurately reflect

that. Do you think he's reading this? The locker you're looking at up. But the real problem is that the dictionaries directly play into the weird misperception Yeah, like Oxford has a word of the year shit where every year they have to add a word to the dictionary that contains some profound message about yeah, I Need that the word of the year

Listen Oxford. Fuck you. There's some years where you don't need a whole other word. Like there's no other words that were invented that year. It's OK. Calm the fuck down. And then Miriam Webster is writing up these fucking journalistic pieces about why they chose feminism as the most important word of 2017

or whatever the fuck. It's just such bullshit. And I think there needs to be a dictionary that has some balls. And this is why the the the the the the the the the the the superior reference book. That's an interesting rage. Urban dictionary. That's all we need. Urban dictionary. I look stuff up on there all the time. Yeah. Oh, that's what interesting rage. Urban dictionary, that's all we need. Urban dictionary, yeah. I look stuff up on there all the time. Yeah. Oh, that's what that meant.

But you know, the example sentences are always super lame. Cuck, Maddox is on it. Really? Yeah, he's the example for urban dictionary. Okay. So there's one exception. That's all exception to that. Uh, yeah.

Every time I see an example sentence or how to use it, it's like, this is the first sentence this person's ever written. Every time I read one of the examples sentence to use it, it's like, this is the first sentence this person's ever written. Every time I read one of the example sentences on Urban Dictionary, it reminds me of the way they talk in idiocracy. Yeah, you know, like, oh, it has electrolytes. Yeah, like that, you didn't use, you didn't use,

you just used a lightener sentence. Yeah, that would have context clues for you to understand what the word means and how to use it, exactly. You just literally used it in a sent it to you, fuck. You need to combine the Miriam Webster people in the Urban Dictionary and have a book that truly belongs in the reference section.

All right, everybody. See you next Tuesday. Thanks for watching. Hopefully see some of you in Atlanta. Yeah. Sean, hopefully you understand what the argument is about speech next time. Do you know, is it gonna be interesting though?

Going back to that? What? Nick Riccata brought it up about certain, Next time. Do you know is going to be interesting though going back to that what? Nick Roketa brought it up about certain like some of these platforms like Twitter possibly being infringing on people's first amendment rights as they become what would be called I guess de facto public platforms. Oh yeah, where that would because if they're used that way, it's possible that then they would be more and more protected. Well, yeah, where that would because if they're used that way, it's possible that then they would be more and more protected. Well, okay.

So which is a good thing. Yes, we already have, we already have Supreme Court decisions that say you can't kick people out of a mall. Like the one that went to the Supreme Court was people were doing political stuff in a shopping mall. Yeah. Like I kicked out and sued. Right. And Supreme Court said, no, no, you're letting the public in. You can't kick them out for that reason. Because it functions as a very public place. Yeah, which Twitter, like Twitter and all those stupid social media sites benefit

from all the safe harbor protections. By saying that they don't censor anything. So it's like, look, we're trying to make this technology work and connect people. We don't have time to censor everything. We're just like a pass through. We're just an LLC. If you want to find somebody doing something illegal,

go find them. We didn't do it. You can't sue us for 10 million counts of terrorism in child pornography, just because it's hard to keep children. But when they start censoring people, they're fucking up their safe harbor. We're taking it.

You can't do both. You can't get protection from the law. And then, also police content, you can't do both. You can't benefit from, you can't get protection from the law. And then, also police content, that doesn't help us. It's no longer a public utility for us to let you skirt the laws. So fuck you. Yeah. It'll be interesting.

And I think a lot of decisions are going to come quickly. It'll be interesting in 30 years when the Supreme Court understands what is a tweet. Well, that's because they're always going to be on the back. Yeah. They're bringing up the rear every time. Yeah. Because why would they're all fucking 85? And yeah. So. All right. Goodbye, everyone.