The Dick Show - Episode 12 – Dick on Hunks

Episode Date: August 23, 2016

Download the MP3 Our audio problems are fixed forever, Dick Supporters on Patreon.com have a new enhanced video feed, my Life Coach stops by and doesn’t plug his Twitter, Marc Maron gets triggered, I why Maddox is now giving away the Biggest Problem Bonus Episodes, a New Challenger emerges from reddit, Dustin digs himself out … Continue reading "Episode 12 – Dick on Hunks" The post Episode 12 – Dick on Hunks appeared first on The Dick Show.

Yeah, yeah, welcome to Dick. You love Dick. You want Dick. You need more Dick. You love Dick. You want Dick. You need more Dick. You got it. It's the show that stands for something. It's the show where everything is a contest. I'm your host, Dick Masterson.

How you doing? We are rocking today, boys. We are rocking today. Absolutely no audio issues at all. Why do you say things like that? Because I think I get away with something. Like if I say something that would like cause people, I look everyone believes in something.

Whether it fascinates me how people are so proud of their atheism, because I look at like I want to pluck the thread, I want to find that thread of belief in there somewhere, in them, in their souls and their hearts, and pull on it until their atheism unravels. Because everybody believes in something. It's like, I don't believe,

like they don't believe in a God that's such and such and such and such. And I want to find it in them, and I want to pluck at it, just so they can feel, I want them to know and feel like they believe in a God. I believe that electricity is an asshole. Electricity is an asshole.

I want to, because it's genetic. It's like, you don't get a society where people collaborate and cooperate without some kind of belief in some kind of God. You just don't. And we can all say, like all the atheists can get together and say, science be praised. And we love reason shall prevail in all of this nonsense. But we all believe in something, whether it's ourselves, whether it's in that the government makes better decisions than people, whether it's money, whether it's in that the government makes better decisions than people,

whether it's money, whether it's that I'm never gonna get caught for all the bad things I've done, I'm gonna escape it or whether the audio's gonna work. And that's what I believe in this week. I'm praying to the God of electricity. I guess that would be Zeus, because he's got the thunderbolt. So I'm praying to Zeus that all of our audio is going to work with me is always speaking of audio, Sean.

Hello, Doug. Hey, you got a present, Derek Gouley from the IRC sent you a present. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, read the note. I don't know if you, we'll open it later. Okay. We'll open it later. And with me today is a very special guest, a coincidental guest.

I didn't think you were going to be on today. I thought it was going to be just me and Sean today. I thought, I thought all the, I thought all the aggressive Facebook comments had scared away all guests that would ever possibly be on this show, but very special guests today, my life coach. The trick is don't read any of the comments on Facebook. You said, yeah, I'm a moon. You're a moon to read them. I got gotta read them, I don't read them. So... You know, it's something that we have in us.

It's a sickness. Yeah, it is a sickness. It is a sickness that causes us to go seek out people who hate us. Well, you don't have a choice. You've got to. You mean people in general? Yeah, yeah. So like some kind of self-loathing or something?

I mean you in particular, right? Oh, the dick show. you have to be connected. Oh, because I can't escape them, right? I can't escape the nigga. Well, I love them because I think that there's a little bit of truth in all of them. Oh, that's true. Like, even the most outlandish crazy comment, I can see some truth in it.

I'm like, oh, yeah, I am kind of a scumbag prick. Like, yeah, you're right. Yeah, I do think, like, too highly of myself. Yeah, I do think like too highly of myself. Yeah, I do talk about sexual exploits and have no evidence to back them up. Yeah, my face does look a little small, but like I get why you're saying that because my foreheads maybe a little too, yeah, I am kind of a spoiled fuck. Like, yeah, I don't understand what it's like to like I just never have I've never really had to struggle for anything. I get why you're saying that. I'm like a total piece of shit, but I'm here to entertain you.

Like I don't, I don't, a prerequisite for me in life is not feeling good about myself. I waived, I said goodbye to that so long ago that it's just, it is, that is something that is put in you that need to feel good about yourself, that you need to rise above. Like it's okay to just feel like shit. Just show up and keep getting the job done

and eventually it'll go away. Like, when I read a comment, when I feel that sting deep down, I just power through it. Well, you get used to it. It doesn't bother you so much after that. Yes, like I heard that, man. I heard that and I was, I wasn't raised with it.

Like, it seems like, it seems like to me. Well, that's kind of, that's kind of key too. Because you have a pretty solid outlook on yourself, I think, regardless. I mean, I don't know, because I'm not in other people's brains. Like, I don't know how they beat themselves up. I think I beat myself up, because I listened to like the last podcast

and I'm like, ah, that wasn't very funny. Like, ah, you kind of sound like a smug asshole, but I don't know what that kind of self-flagulation feels like to other people. Like, yeah, go ahead. What were you gonna say? No, no, no, I was gonna say, I think everybody does to some extent,

but I think like, I've got friends, it's, I don't really relate to it so much, but I do more now than I used to, but I've got friends really, really solid upbringing, really like supportive parents, all that and stuff. And it's like, you can not like something they do. And it's like, oh, that's cool. Like you can have an opinion.

And I really believe that it doesn't sting them. Yeah. Like, you know where it's like, oh, okay, you know, like, that's all right. I'm still going to do it. Like I still think this is good. Yeah, you know, I'll tell you what, that's reminding me of something. There's this, there's this kind of, this, this feeling in the zeitgeist, like over parenting, like coddling children,

like coddling millennials has created this environment of entitlement. Where now adults feel entitled to things, and it's because I'm not saying everybody thinks like this, but I hear it a lot. It's because they were coddled as children. Oh, yeah. But I think it's the opposite.

I think kids that were neglected as children are the ones that grow up and think that the world owes them something because they were fucked over as kids. Like, because, no, that happens too. Every time I hear that coddling, shit, I'm like, well, no one had a more privileged upbringing than me. And I don't feel coddled at all.

Like I feel exactly the opposite. I can only talk about myself obviously. When I see, when I see Triggley puff shaking her ham hocks around in the air protesting, do you remember this? Do you remember this? Heels of Triggley. When mellowianapolis came to speak, it's some Ivy League school, some school, some college where everybody there has a free ride.

Like everybody in academia has a four year vacation. Pretty much. It's not the real world. And you get some funny ideas about it too. And you do. And there's this woman there who has to have been like 500 pounds. She was a snorlax, look alike. Like if you shaved their head, you'd throw,

you should be walking down the street, I'd be throwing Pokeballs at her, left and right. Like give me all the raspberries, I gotta catch this fucking snorlax. I wish I knew what you were talking about. It's a big, big fat show. Like a big, good baby life coach. She shows maturity.

So, so this woman objects to the speech and she starts beating her fists, her fists and against an imaginary wall in the air, just screaming like King Hippo. Do you remember King Hippo from the 1064 Mike Dyson's bunch out? Punch out. But they since changed to Mr. Dreams Punch out. Can you believe that?

Oh, that's right. Isn't that, isn't that horror of like 1984 level rewriting of our history. My Tyson, who didn't do anything wrong according to me, who did not rape me. I do not believe that he raped that. I don't have the specifics. I really don't. Well, he went to, he got, I think he got railroaded hard

by this conniving, this conniving succubus. Look, go ahead. You know all about conniving succubus. Look, go ahead. You know all about conniving succubus. Is there anybody gonna say that? No, I'm saying I don't know about his case, but sports figures, I've heard a lot, I listen to like a lot of sports radio and stuff like that. And they will X football players, X basketball players,

they will tell you how often people get extorted. There are people, they said, I fucked around with everybody. And the one who got money out of me was totally lying. Because what they do in like the NFL, they'll set you up with like a lawyer immediately, like what you're talking about the women. Yeah, the women or the NFL players, the NFL players. They'll say you're up with the lawyer. They'll say, they have X FBI investigating all these things. And what they'll do, they say, did you do anything? Fucking honestly.

Yeah, said no, if they didn't do it, they say, okay. The X FBI guys are like training them on how to talk. Well, they speculate. They don't know how to talk to cops and lawyers. Well, they speculate on how much is it worth to make this go away versus fight it. Like if you just make it go away, people forget. And I've heard a few of them say, it's like, you know what, the one who got money out of

me was the one I didn't do anything with. And that's exactly how I feel about Mike Tyson. Like watching his, he's got this standup where he talks in Vegas about what happened. He says flat out, I didn't rape her. Like which number one, you don't ever hear rape is saying. Like, you very rarely will hear somebody, like you'll hear Clinton and he'll say, like, well, you know, that's preposterous.

It's like, well, did you say I didn't do it? Like, if you're ever gonna lie, there is no improper relationship. If you're ever gonna lie about something you did bad, you have got to really psych yourself bad, you have got to really psych yourself up, you've got to go into it, you've got to look at the mirror in your bathroom at home and you've got to say you've got to be comfortable saying I didn't do this because everything else is a fucking lie. Yeah. And sounds like a lie and that's how

you can spot a lie. Cops, cops call it people who interrogate, they call it the 80-20. You may at the end, you may get 80% truth, but there's always like that 20% that they don't want to admit to, that they change in their mind or like, I was sort of justified in murdering this person or I was sort of justified. It wasn't really rape. So they'll never give the folks away. So they won't admit, because they don't want to say what it was. So they won't say I didn't do that because subconsciously. And this is, this all goes back to the, that belief in a, like in a God in a system.

This, this belief that everybody has and cannot conquer. Like they cannot rise above. They cannot be that niche and uber mench because like they just might be punished. Like they're might. Yeah. Because they think, they think they're right. Anyway, Mike Tyson's punch out changed to Mr. Dreams punch out. It's real. What? Oh, the video, dude, if you buy that video game, Mike Tyson's punch out is gone, gone the way of the Doe Doe, gone, gone the way of the whiskey, gone confiscated into evidence.

He's gone. I hate to play a spoiler, but are we sure that's not licensing for licensing reasons? Well, I, obviously I'm sure of nothing, because all I do to get my news is read the Drudge Report Synopsies and then Assume the world I want to believe in. I like, I'm going to like to believe to keep myself sane that it was a licensing issue. But don't you think they would have got that license for life?

Like we're going to, you know, we're're gonna be talking about licenses a lot today as it turns out. Yeah, but go ahead. What do you think it's a licensing issue? That's what I choose to believe right now. I'm playing devil's advocate and I can't believe that they changed it for, to be politically correct. Oh, I think they absolutely did because what's the headline? Nintendo supports rapist Mike Tyson.

Like Tyson can't even, Trump can't even escape getting endorsed by Mike Tyson. That's true. What was I talking about before I got into this Mike Tyson? I was talking about big ham-hawk arms, we're banging on the roof. Triggly puffs, so I know I'm looking at this Triggly puff woman with a massive issue.

She's got an eating disorder. She's trying, and I'm an alcoholic, so I know dysfunction when I see it. I know what it feels like to need to fill that. She's got problems. Sure. It's the neglect. It's the neglect that these entitled brats

felt as children. I think that are manifesting into this entitled. I mean, it's not the overprotective parenting. It's not the good parents. It's not the ones who are helping them every step of the way because you fucking should help your kids out, every step of the way, because the world is out to fuck them. Every big company is out to eviscerate your kids

and you and drain you for cash. Like the Koch brother, the people in charge of the world are just out to squeeze the marrow from your bones and stir you into a stew and then pour themselves a heaping helping of money. That's the world. So the more you can protect your kids from any of that, the better.

That's my opinion, and it's the kids who don't feel protected ever that need it, that need to be protected constantly in college. Like, that's where this overly aggressive, nanny, police culture and academia has taken over. Well, and yeah, I agree with you on that. People are taking this whole concept of safe space, and they're trying to apply it to society at large.

Yeah. And there's nothing more real than the real world. Yeah. And it doesn't fucking work that way. Yeah. And you go in, you can't say, you can't expect a quote unquote, safe space when your boss choose your ass for making a series of really stupid mistakes. You're going to get fucking fired.

Yeah, you should get fucking fired. You should get fucking fired because there's somebody out there who can do the job better than you. Yeah. Maybe 10 people who can do the job better than you. Yeah. Yeah. All right. That was my rant about, I forget what that was

even my rant about. But let's get into the next. Let's get into the next. Lifecoach, lifecoach has gotten some love on the, what do they want to know? No, no I mean, you're given advice on growing beards and lifting. All the reasons I come to you growing my beard, what can I do to not look like I have a Mexican bandito beard? All the, because I can't escape the genetics.

Like I got the genetics forced me to have a Danny Trejo, Johnny 26 beard at all times that doesn't grow in on the side and that gets kind of scraggly. You're frowning. No, it doesn't grow on the side as it was. It doesn't like up on your cheeks. I get a rock and mustache man. I get a mustache that'll start a car. Like I walk by some cars and they just spontaneously start. I want like an old cutless supreme or a step into the step. Or like El Camino, I'll walk by that car

and they'll just, they'll turn into a low rider. A car that I walk by with this mustache will suddenly begin low riding. And it'll be like a stuck up old white couple sitting there like, what's honey, what's going on with this? What's going on with this car? What's going on with our Lexus? And it will like, I'll walk by like in a trail

of like low riding and sombreros and Mexican flags and stuff will follow behind me, just because of my mustache. I'm not saying it's me, it's just because of my mustache. And the car will change, it will sweep over it like a wave of color, like technicolor, taking over the car except it will be Mexican. And they'll have like cock-eyed sombreros

and a sunburn, this old white couple that I'm talking about and like Corona's in there, even though Corona's a disgusting beer. Right. Corona's a fucking disgusting beer. It's a shame to be associated with Mexico. It's absolutely disgusting. Anyway, life coach will be advising me on how I should.

I can feel better about my beard like he was doing in the bon- So I got an idea for the bonus episodes. Bonus episodes. You can pick up at patreon.com slash the dick show. We do them every month. My coach, my life coach stops by and I think Denzel is going to be back next month. He's leading the rage boards. He's, Denzel is great.

He was killing it. He may have been my favorite guest on the old podcast. That episode was so much fun. It was. You, it's not here in Tillman. You didn't think she was a great guest on the old podcast. That episode was so much fun. It was. It's not here in Tillman. You didn't think she was a great guest on the other side. She. You don't have to answer that.

No, no, no, actually, you know what? Uh, I've worked with her again. Oh, God. Yeah. She really showed a different side. I don't have the same opinion of her as I did. Oh, much, much so now you. Now you hate her.

You used to love her. No, no, no, no, I don't at all. All right. I don't at all. We've got, so, oh yeah, so when you come in a coach and when Denzel comes in, I want us to fix something on the next bonus episode. Like I want all of us to bring in something

that we can really fix. Like for you, I don't know, I'm just guessing, maybe it's like people don't have enough guns. I know before I met you, I didn't have any guns. And now I have more guns than I have appendages. It used to be more guns than I had hands. Now it's more gun. Now I have half made guns that are just sitting

on my coffee table ready to be made. That's where I'm at in my life right now. So maybe you're all about, but I don't want to put, I don't want to put you on the spot. I don't want to make you fix something that you don't want to fix. Maybe you don't think everybody should have guns. I don't know. What?

Dick used to keep a 12-gauge shotgun in a golf bag. You still have that. Yeah, I still have that. In the golf bag. Yeah, I still have it in my golf bag. Yeah. So that's what I want to do for the bonus episode. I think I might throw it, oh good.

I think I might throw it into the actual Patreon and let Patrionis vote on what they want to have fixed. Oh, that's great. And then we'll pull our resources and we'll try to fix that in addition to our pet projects. It's way more, in my opinion, way more fun to let them choose. Well, we got an hour to fill, buddy. Oh, okay.

So we got to bring in, plus, you know, you want to bring in something that you feel comfortable about. Like, if somebody brings in, if somebody brings in, how do I fix the exploit video broadcaster for my podcast? I don't know if you're going to have a lot to contribute to that one.

No. No. Pay someone. Pay Sean. No, don't pay Sean.'re gonna have a lot to contribute to that one. No, no. Pay someone. Pay Sean. No, don't pay Sean. All right, all right. What am I bringing in today? I want to talk about man's explaining.

I want to talk about Mark Marin. I want to talk about a drug dealer that told me my car was filthy. We're gonna have a couple of Collins. Low tax was supposed to be calling in this week. And someone from the Reddit, so vash from Reddit is calling in, who is so critical of Dustin, that every week he goes through

and writes summaries of Dustin's segment on this Dustin, he's a mod for Facebook, the Dixiel and Facebook, Dustin calls in with questions for me to talk about on the show, which I enjoy. A lot of people seem to enjoy. Well, it was great that that story came out last week. What story?

The story, us in Europe. Say that again, what do you mean us in Europe? No, the one about the fucking crazy hotel and the, give me more, what do you mean, the crazy hotel? No, you're not the narrowest question. Oh, you're gonna be like me and you. Yeah, at the end of the show, I told this story about the time Sean and I slept together. Anyway, this guy in Europe, and it was weird and gross, because there was a mirror above

the bed. It was like a honeymoon suite, but with two and twenty-something guys, I'm very bizarre. I'm seeing this degenerate and disgusting, and it took us a while to get over. A guy, so vash, summarizes all of those call-ins so that people don't have to subject themselves to listening to, this is how much he doesn't like the guy. Which is crazy to me. It's, well, I wanted to give him, I wanted to give him the ability to call in

and explain why he thinks that's possible, but I don't know, he's not showing up on the Skype. So if somebody, see, that's part of it, you gotta be there. Exactly. You gotta be there. Like the, relying, the ability to rely on someone is so valuable, is so valuable,

that I think it almost proceeds every other skill and ability. That's what fucking, you wanna talk about something that makes me a rage? That the fact that people, especially consumers, have to make other people do their jobs. Like what? Go get a prescription filled at a pharmacy.

Yeah. And then see if it's ready when they say it's going to be. And see if they call you. It's the same thing with a mechanic. Oh, I'll call you. I'll call you at five o'clock and tell you what's up. And how long? No, you have to fucking call back.

You have to call back. You have to call everybody back. We have reached the lowest level of service, certainly in my lifetime. It's fucking awful. You money's no good here. That's America. You money's no good here. You want to pay somebody to do something?

Good fucking luck. The hundreds of people I have ever hired or tried to hire, my internal gauge on whether or not it's gonna work is always 50-50. Like the amount of personal tragedies and family emergencies that go on every week that excuse people from doing this, like every time I hear that,

it's basically, it's the adult version of my dog ate my homework. Oh, I'm sorry, I have to take a week off. My cousin Johnny got yelled at by his boss last week. Yeah, it's really hit the family hard. He slipped on a wet floor at Walmart and a whiffle ball bat went up his ass, family emergency. I gotta take the week off and go to help the doctors

pull this whiffle ball bat out of Johnny's asshole. It's a real trying time for my family, but I can't write your copy because I'm in the hospital advising these people and how to pull a whiff of ball bad at a cousin Johnny's colon. One in a million train for that. They weren't trained for that. I got a phone call. I got to be there.

I got to be there to really feel my heart out because no one will be okay on their own just not having a bunch of nuns around them, feeling up a storm and posting on Facebook for prayers, ginning up a lot of positive. I got to be there. I can't work. I can't work. That's where we're at. I can't work if I've got a family crisis going on anymore.

All right. Anyway, this is what I want to talk about this week. It was brought to my attention recently by a beautiful dickhead by the name of Terry. Terry Bruges, I think, I forget how to pronounce his last name. He hits me up and he says, Hey, Maddox has decided to give away the bonus episodes. What?

Well, yeah, so we did, that was my reaction exactly. We did, we did a number of bonus episodes for the previous show, and the agreement when we did them was in order to fund the show, like in order to, see bonus episodes work, they're not, they're not a product on their own, they're like a way to fund the free shows by selling this one product. But you would put, what you would put an amount of work in certainly, and you would agree to pay off expenses of the show, pay Sean

before, before we did the bonus episode, Sean was just doing shit for free in the hopes that one day it would pay off. Well, we all have to, many for free, that would be for sponsors. You know, but you're a craftsman. Like for me, it's different. It's different for me to say I'm doing something for free because that's part of the gig.

Like that's interchange. Yeah, you're a creator. Yeah, like I get paid to show up and, I'll go talk for an audience of three, but you have an actual real skill set that translates into hours and money in other endeavors. Like you being there is costing you money. Well, I've had to, I've had to adopt the kind of, I've got kind of a mentor in the business

who's an old friend of my uncle. He's a successful composer and you know, I kind of bounce advice off him on like what I should charge for something, what I should ask for. How successful of a composer? Um, like Titanic. Well, no, no, no, not like feature films, but like TV shows, you know, no, like, well-known TV shows. Yeah. Um, but, uh, you know, he said, you know what? He said, I used to do the same thing, agonize over, you know, money and stuff like that.

Freebies, yeah, freebies. Like giving me a call for free. Yeah, or like really lower your rate or because you're afraid not to get it, that kind of stuff. And he said, I learned two things. Number one, you have to give yourself permission to make money.

Yeah. And a lot of people are afraid of that. And number two, your opinion is worth money because you've spent the time studying it and hopefully becoming an expert in it. So because people will always, it's a little bit like being the doctor at a party who just gets constantly hit up for you.

Or a mechanic and get to put like my engine's knocking. And what you think, like, it's like, yeah, or anybody who's like loosely familiar with tech stuff, when my brother-in-law joined the family and he started showing off at family gatherings by fixing internet stuff. And my, oh man, I felt like a retired gun slinger. I was like, yeah, sure, buddy, you just, you take my spurs, you take the share of that. You are so good at that. You're better than I ever was at that.

Oh, him. Yeah, I was like, oh, yeah. Everyone would turn to me. It's like, is what he's saying right? I'm like, I don't care. It's, he's, you're, look at him from now on. You went into him. Congratulations, buddy.

Every gun slinger in the West is now coming to you with all their router issues. Any fucking problems with emails, any windows getting minimized and they don't know where they go. They're hitting you up on speed dial. Good, I'm retiring. I'm taking my ass out into pasture and I'm never gonna answer another tech question again.

You're at the bar now. You're not out in the street. I're at the bar now. You're not out in the street. I'm at the bar now. Computer what? Wipe with a cloth. That's my middle name. You're Hillary Clinton all of a sudden. So this guy Terry hits me up and then I start obviously when one person finds it, I

generally gauge how fuck something is by how many texts and messages start rolling in and this is one of the bigger ones. Whoa. Like this is Maddox giving away the bonus episodes, struck an immediate and a passionate cord with a lot of people. And all of their, all everyone wanted to know one question,

doesn't this fuck you? Wait, so he didn't contact you? No. No, I haven't, the only contact I've received from him was this fucking weird email right before we were gonna record normally, what I thought would normally be the 108th episode was this email saying he wanted to continue the show without me.

So, yeah, for the sake of Sean and the women transcribing the show. No, yeah, not to, not for, you know, that's the reason. That was the reason it was like the most sickening fake because I've ever seen in my life. Like, he wanted to continue the show for the sake of Sean and the girls transcribing the show, who are, I mean, these are professionals that this is why he wants to continue the show,

and asking if I would just step down, or number two, do I want to end the show? And a lot of people have seen this email. Like people involved in the old show have seen this email. Everyone, you can safely assume that everyone involved in the shows knows way more than what they're saying. That's the last communication I got from. So I said, obviously, well, number two, it's over. There's no, first of all, I know you're going to continue it anyway. At the time, which opens up a whole other venue, like a whole other universe of weird, because it took so long to build that show up

that launching a new show with no foresight, no planning, nothing, just we need to get it up there because I can't live without this money. That was, that's a whole other universe, but that's the last communication I've got with the guy, including when he deleted the site because it's too hard to keep WordPress up to date, which I was doing the entire time. It's on my server, it's always been on my server because the motherfucker can't keep

a server up, because he has no employable server admin skills at this point. It's just I worked at a telemarketing company. My skills are 18 years out of date, even though they were like very bottom of the barrel back in the day. But I need to have this persona like I'm a really smart, web savvy guy. Anyway, that was the last, that was then the feed got hijacked. We both did our new shows, the feed got hijacked from the old site. It got 301, very blatantly 301 redirected to Maddox's new show.

And people, again, fans started hitting me up. What's going on here? Why wasn't the feed left where it is? Why do I see this new piece of shit show where your old one was before? And what's Maddox's response on Twitter? iTunes messed up the feed. Blatant, blatant lie. Blatant lie.

So, of course, when I see the bonus episodes are now free, I'm expecting more of this same kind of bullshit. Like the world we live in and the way some men try to purport themselves is with implication and flat out lies because they work. They fucking work. If you say iTunes messed up the feed enough time, people have it in them.

They have that need to believe in some kind of godly goodness in everyone, because otherwise society doesn't function. Otherwise, you can't rationalize with yourself while you're not out there stealing and raping and pillaging and doing all these horrible things. So they need, like if you say it enough, so Maddox says, I'm releasing all the bonus episodes for free.

One guy, this guy Terry, doesn't that fuck over dick? Like, did you have any indication that you're allowed to do this? Like, if you build, you build, like, what's 50% of free? Yeah, exactly. You build a house with someone and they give it away, where's your cut of free? You don't even get a cut of the goodwill.

You know, I'm trying to rationalize why it's so fucking infuriating to me that this happened, and I'm struggling to come to any other conclusion than just the lies and the deceptions that are so prevalent in all of society just have worn me down into this white hot ball of pressurized rage and it makes me fucking furious to see on the comment thread doesn't this fucked dick and maddox's response is well people were pirating them anyway. Oh wow.

Like so, so you know you're doing something wrong. So you already know that you're doing something wrong if you need to justify it in some way. That you're not saying that it's okay to pirate. It's just people are pirating them anyway. People are pirating them anyway, but then in income the kudos of course. And it's not, I don't want a grandstand

about losing out on the money, but I want to be clear that it's definitely about money. Sure. Go ahead. Well, you're on the same, in the end, of course, right? But before that is principle. It's because the money and the principle are the same thing. You make it, when you make a deal that involves money, when you make some kind of an arrangement

that involves money, the money is representative of what you're putting into the project. It always should be. If it's not, you need to renegotiate because you're losing out. That's good. That's what I think. So when it's, when it's 50% like, Maddox did this before. During the show, we had these amazing, these amazing thumbnails made by like amazing artists. One in particular, Jessica Safron,

she made one of death riding a hoverboard. I remember that one. It's fucking awesome, right? So everybody was seeing that, everybody was seeing that thing. He said, you gotta put this on a shirt. You guys gotta put this on a shirt. You guys got to put this on a shirt.

And I'm thinking, Randy the producer is thinking this also. I'm thinking, wow, that would be awesome. What if we had a whole merch thing with all these great thumbnails up? Then we could take the money you get from the merch and pay these artists more money. Like we could split it with them. How great would that be? It's like a creative utopia where the money comes in

and you use it to make more awesome things, right? So I bring this in in the next show. Hey, what if we take that picture and we give Jessica a cut? We've already paid, the show has paid her some money. The show would always pay artists some money for what they made for us. It wasn't nearly enough, like because they put so much time in it and they put, the work

was so incredible. Like, you always want to pay them more, but we'd already, we'd already paid her. So it was presumably owned by the show, right? And for the purposes of the thumbnail, yeah. Of course. So I say, dude, what if we do a site, What if we put up a store with this is the shirt? That's fucking great. I would wear that shirt. It's awesome. Maddox says, oh yeah, I've already bought that. I'm gonna put it on my store.

Oh my gosh. And I'm like, oh man, it's like a knife in the gut. Yeah, yeah. And I don't know how to describe it to people, but I think every person in the world knows this kind of person that I'm dealing with, where you have to bend over backwards to excuse their poor decisions.

Like, everybody involved with the old show would say, don't take it personally, it's just that he needs to control everything. Like, it's just, it was always this, always this arm wrestling match with why is he doing these shitty things? Why did he not mention you on the last episode? Why did he, why would he kicked you off the show

for that one episode? Did he get on the air and immediately say, Dick couldn't make it? Like a simple lie, a simple lie that at the time makes me look like a complete fucking asshole. Like it costs, costs you nothing to just not mention it, but you can get, you can make it a little easier, he can make it a little easier on himself by saying he couldn't make it. Fuck my name, right? Fuck me, fuck? Fuck me. Fuck me who has no respect for the fans enough

to show up for the fucking episode, like couldn't make it. I guess it's another family emergency. I guess someone got a wiffle ball stuck up their ass and I had that was more important to me than being on the fucking show. It goes, it's this habitual behavior where people always try to explain around his actions as some kind of balance

or some kind of trade-off between the need to control everything and the autism. The not being able to know that what you're doing is a bad thing. And I think that is fucking bullshit. That is bullshit. It is fucking bullshit because the very clear third option is that he has no fucking bullshit. Yeah, that's bullshit. It is fucking bullshit because the very clear third option is that he has no fucking character. You do not work on something with someone and then give it away to buy the adoration of people

who don't have it. That is fucking bullshit. I don't care how afraid you are that your book next book is gonna fail as bad as the last one. I don't care how you feel about people turning on you because you ended an amazing show. I don't give a fuck all you had to do was keep it listed on an account that I fucking paid for that is split up automatically. The season passed, money goes right to him, the individual money goes to me and then I tally it up and we whack it up at the end of the year.

Very simple. Didn't need to be given away ever. It especially didn't need to be given away on a soundcloud account that I believe I think is monetized by him. So where are we at then? I mean, this just sounds like the last and a long line of certain types of behavior. And I don't know how to classify that behavior because I see it all the time.

I mean, it's easy to be lazy and call it. I mean, you can come up with any number of bullshit terms, right? But there's something, he must have something really in it. Perse, I don't know. I don't get it. I don't get it at all. I don't get it at all, but I know that it has no consequence. After watching politicians on TV, lie constantly. After watching Brian Williams lie constantly, like these people just fucking lie and lie

and lie and they're never held the task for it. There is no promotion of character in society. And it ends here. And this is a great example of it. There is no promotion of character in society. And it ends here. And this is a great example of it. And I know, and everybody, everybody I know who is involved in the old show probably has a tightened up asshole right now because they've all told me not to say things on the air that if every single fucking one of them has said this happened, please don't mention this on the air that have every single fucking one of them has said this happened. Please don't mention this on the air.

And it's like, it's puts me right because then what do you do? I mean, it's driving me fucking crazy. The truth. You can't hide from the truth. No, you can't. You can't hide from it forever. That's for fucking sure. So I don't know what to do.

I mean, what do you DM, what do I DMCA it? Isn't that what the DMCA is for? How big of an asshole do I look like? Life coach, you're my fucking life coach. This is your, this is your forte. I don't think you're allowed to give away other people's work. Right? When you have a contract with them.

Well, here's the thing too. There is no, I mean, there is no express written contract about anything. I don't mean, I don't know about written, but you guys decide. You guys decide. You guys decide. Yeah, if you've got a history of behavior

with an arrangement with a business, doesn't that supersede any, like everybody says that a contract is some kind of like legally binding document, but in order to enforce it, you gotta go to court. And then both sides argue. The point of a paper contract is to document what is the implicit agreement. And you guys obviously had an implicit agreement to do the show together.

Yeah. It seems like unless there was something explicitly saying that some part of the show went to one person. And I'm not going to say this. It would all be a 50-50 kind of thing. Yeah. So I'm at a loss. I'm at a loss. I was furious about it when I came out to hang out with you last weekend. You took the day off.

We watched a little Trump rally kick around some analyzed Trump's new technique of telling African Americans that what do you got to lose? What the hell do you have to lose? It's a great strategy because you prove to him, Hillary, you prove to black America that you have given them something to lose. You fucking have it, you fuck them at every step, right? That's the great strategy. And also everybody loves to take risks.

Everybody in America, you hear what you got to lose. I immediately think, yeah, I mean, what do I'll hear, what do I have to lose? I don't know. What am I attached to this? It's a challenge. The only, I have admittedly I haven't paid much attention to the news in the past couple of days, but the only thing I've heard against that is like a,

oh, well, I mean, what do you have to lose? Can you believe you said no one's saying, well, this is what they have to lose. No one's saying that. No, no one's saying that. this is what they have to lose, no one's saying. No, no one's saying that. And you think, like what do you have to lose? The funded police presence in your city, you like you enjoying that?

What do you do? The overwhelming job opportunities, the skill opportunities you have to get skilled in jobs that could pull you, like any stop gap between your high schools, which are shit and academia, which everyone is asking for their money back. What's the stop gap in there? Where's the big ITT?

What have you got to lose? It's a great, it's like Brewster's Millions, none of the above, what do you got to lose? What do you got to lose? What do you got to lose? Anyway, well this is gonna heat up, and I'm gonna tell you why, because I've got, I always do the accounting for shows.

Cause I'm good at it, I'm good at it. You know, I'm fastidious and I'm fastidious and I don't steal. Right. Like I don't steal money because you get caught. Like of all the crimes to do, the theft of money is not just not one that I do. I don't know why that is.

I don't know why I'm trying to prove that I'm trustworthy with money, but I'm drawing a complete blank because it's counter to every single other thing about me. Let me throw this out there. I feel like I've realized that it takes more effort to try to steal money than it is to just make more money. Absolutely right.

Yeah, especially in the amount that we're talking. Exactly. So I've been doing the Italian soul. Yeah, I'm gonna just compound these lies upon lies upon lies. It's exhausting for the amount of money that you have. Unless you're talking about like tens of millions. Unless you're talking about tens of millions, but in that case, it's a fucking bailout.

Like, it's no longer stealing. Because it's a government program. Like yeah, I'll also take, give me $600 million to make some goofy electric car and then I'll give you pinball parts and atomic bomb casing like Doc Brown. Like I'll steal that money because someone's gonna fucking steal it. If you're giving it away, I'm gonna fucking steal it. Anyway, it's gonna heat up because I did the accounting for last year and I got a semantics, a bill for the split. And it's going to be you got to pay me because there was more

season passes sold or whatever after all the whacking up after paying Sean after paying the transcribers. It's a fucking bill. And that bill might may or may not get dicey. Yep. So that's my, that's my comments on the bonus episode. Low tax was supposed to call in, but I don't see him.

Should we take a quick break for me to try to hit him up? I would love to get him on. Oh yeah. I would love to get him on. Let me take a quick break and see if I can hit up low tax. If anybody's got a direct line to a maybe I'll text the stereos too. He knows him. He does know him because he works for something awfully writes for something awful. So I'm going to hit him up real quick. We'll take a quick break. I see a little dial spinning around. So the worst part is I always forget

that what I'm saying now will be back. And then I say stupid stuff and then it starts up again. I'm like, God damn it, I can't do that. Okay. Okay, I've got news from low tax. He's had a family emergency. Oh my God. You can't write this shit. That's bullshit.

No, it's real, it's real, it's real. It's no, I believe that I'm not lying. I'm not lying. I'm not lying. He tweeted that he's coming on the show, but he has had a little family. See, it's my fault. People don't expect a podcast to be live. I think he's, this is the best joke I've ever pulled on anyone. He's telling you that would be the most amazing troll ever. I'd be funny. Somebody said

that he might want to be careful because he's always trolling and he's probably trolling. And be wary of him trolling me. And I said, how the fuck are you going to troll me? I'm not a, I'd never fallen for anything in my life except that one time I sent cash to get a fake ID that never showed up. Did you? Yeah. You know, I really want booze. I don't know. Yeah. What are you going to do? All right. You're only going to be in a, you're only 31. Oh, next show. I wanted to look younger. Yeah. I wanted it to drop an ID out of my wallet.

So an 18 year old girl would say, oh, you're only 19. And I would say, oh, give me that, give me that. I get, why did you think I was older? Don't be silly, baby, I'm 19. I've gotta find my first fake ID. My address was on Pimpa Avenue. Yeah. Did people ever ask? No, I didn't think I was that. I mean. To people ever ask?

No, I didn't think I was that. I mean, name was ridiculous. My address was ridiculous. And I did it just to point out no one ever looks at that stuff. Well, I think that's maybe because you and I look like how we look, because I've seen Sean get questioned on his fake ID a long time ago.

Do you remember that his fake ID was? Yeah, but it wasn't me. That's, you used to be able to get away with that. I had somebody else's. Oh, expired. No, it wasn't expired. Just some like handsome, punk model who just wanted to make some dough selling an ID to an underage. Other hand. See, these hands in group, they always stick together. These handsome hunks, these handsome hunks are always trading tips on how to pledge women and how to look beautiful. Us, Uggos, without receiving airlines and never met the guys.

I never met the guys. Of course, some other handsome hunk hook do guys up together. Dude, I used to play hockey with one of them. Oh, Chef, and I've got a whole group of sliding handsome hunks. Some handsome hunk. So low tax isn't gonna be on it. I'll try to get him on next week.

I did forget to go over the results from last week. Larry, Mr. Velvet is kicking ass now. Is he? Yes, he jumped above the kids. It goes Denzel, Mr. Velvet then Robin, and then Joe Star. Joe Star who is also supposed to be on today, but he's a big shot.

I mean, he's in demand now. Over. Oh yeah. That used to be the move. Oh God no. No, you cannot be in demand at UCB. He's in demand at screen junkies. Oh okay, that's right. Yeah, he writes.

He was a big swing and dick over there. And you know what, you know what, his secret to success is? I'm gonna predict it, but I wanna ask Joe Star what his secret to success is in entertainment. I bet it's showing up. Oh, of course, man. I bet that's the secret to his success.

It's nine out of ten, it's 90% of it. All right, I've got, let's see, I've got some great Mark Marin news. He is getting fucking embarrassed. So Mark Marin last week, somebody tweeted him a picture of me socking him right across the face. And Mark Marin's response was, you shouldn't be drawing during class. It's important, right?

Taking that high-fellow New Yorker sense of taking that that high-brow, high-faluten, sophisticated, every-dite sense of humor that's responded. Yeah, that's the most effective weapon against us Detroit Morlocks. Is a real sophisticated turn of a phrase against a group of people whose catchphrases get raped? Yeah.

Oh, excuse me gentlemen, but you should be getting back to your junior high school class of drawing for UC. It will be very helpful in your future life as a manoeuvre shoveler. So they edited his Wikipedia page. I don't have it. I read it when I was drunk. I laughed my shit off. I don't have it with me. But Mark Marin got so pissed off. This is the greatest. It couldn't go any better than this. Let me try to fucking find this. It couldn't go any better than this because he said, where is it?

Where is it? Does this bring back memories of me struggling to find bullshit? On the show? Here it is, here it is, here it is. At Shane, at S-H-A-N-N-E, did the Wikipedia thing, Mark Marin tweeted back great should be proud child except he was so pissed off that he typoed the proud and put two peas in it. Oh yeah. And there's that twitching because he's so upset with his probably his coffee, his trembling

like a T Rex is storming around in his house and he's so he's so outra with his, probably his coffee, his trembling like a T-Rex is storming around in his house, and he's so, he's so outraged, weaving back. Never, never, didn't want anyone to fire him in such a way. Mark Marin should be proud, it should be, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, you can hear the stuttering coming through in the tweet. Should be, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, he's like his best friend Obama now. Jay, he's so upset, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it So Mark Mary and just tweets back, wrong. Oh yeah. Anyway, there you go.

I read some comments and then I'm going to get to Sovash. Sovash has an issue with Dustin. And this Dustin controversy continues on Reddit. So instead of, you know, I want them to throw some more wood on it. Like Sean, excuse me, this is more like a lighter fluid. I want these guys to be heard though. This guy's getting reddit gold for the, he summarizes these posts. I want, I want, I want the side of the debate to be heard.

Of course. I want the show to be the best debate in all universes endorsed by life coach. Okay. Stormy Waters says, can you do me a favor and tell Mr. Mac daddy Red Pill to go fuck himself? I assume that he means that complimentary. Chris Healy sent in a great universal, a great video of the universal logo. We're instead of universal. It scrolls around and says get raped. Isn't that cool? There goes our three picture deal. What are you laughing? You don't think that's cool? Let's see. I don't can do those things. Here's one, the neutering a dog debate has been settled.

We talked about neutering a dog last week, and I think it's, I think it's, I thought you didn't know you were on. Well, it seems like the humane thing to do. Like if I'm never gonna, if I'm never gonna fuck again, never, if I'm never gonna fuck, and I can't like, build a real estate empire, if both of those things are taken off the table, and a dog can't do that, like a dog that's living in your yard, cannot fuck.

Well, a dog also can't think like you. But still he's got the drive. I always got the drive. Not the same drive as me either, but he's got some kind of a sex drive, right? Well, it's natural. Yeah, of course he does. I've seen a dog fuck. I know what's going on in his brain.

It's the exact same thing that's going on in my brain when I'm getting down. Don't throw up. Don't throw up. Don't the, uh, the, the reptilian brain, right? Yeah, don't throw up. Don't throw up. Ah, exactly.

Um, it seems like the humane thing to do to whack the nuts. Like, I would want to be either killed or had, or, and I don't want to have nuts. Okay. If I'm a dog in captivity, my old, right? So Andrew O'Carol writes, and I'm loving the show having missed an episode, not sure if this helps, but I am a veterinarian.

Okay. And I'm happy to offer whatever insight I can about the dog thing. Regarding Larry's comments on not getting his dog neutered, we don't recommend the procedure as a money scam or even for population control. In fact, after you take into account the anesthesia and overhead for the procedure, we make very little money, okay. So, I was just speculating on that.

I think Veteranarians basically do. It's totally not a scam. It's totally not a scam. Although I have heard some of the vaccinations don't need to be done as often as they are. Well, yeah, because they're causing autism. Yeah. Anyway, we recommend it so that the dogs won't get testicular cancer, benign, prostatic hypertrophy, or perennial hernia. That's what I thought. So you should do it.

Well, the Larry argument was, it's kind of like, let's keep it manly in the house. Yeah, I got, my balls are big enough. I don't need my dog to have them. I once saw a beagle with BPH and his prostate was no joke, the size of a coconut. Jesus. He's bragging. You could see it bulging out in the front of his pelvis.

In juvenile hernias can be disastrous mess to repair, surgically, and correcting it can lead to fecal incontinence. Oh my God. No. Please also let Larry know that castrated dogs do still produce a small amount of testosterone. Yeah, it's not all produced in testicles. Like testosterone? Yeah.

No, not all. Where's yours produced? Right, right. So there's, it's, oh, he says it's from their adj. So there's still some manliness left in them. As an aside, I think Larry is by far the best candidate for your co-host slot. He's coherent, doesn't excessively say the L word and has a voice that could calm like and has a voice that could calm a Jaguar or end a war.

That's pretty cool. I believe that. Let's see. Or Jaguar war. A war of time. A war of time. Oh, and it turns out I was partly wrong about men and their sperm later in life.

Yeah, Justin Deering, I thought you could just be knocking up rods into your 70s and 80s and be fine. Well, you can't. That just probably doesn't happen. But you get, you get a little kind of a, uh, the DNA gets a little scrambled up. Oh, definitely. It makes sense. If it starts to get scrambled up, it will get, it will get, well, it perturbs.

Everything just from the environment and stuff starts to, uh, starts to degrade or mutate, right? Or the longer you go in life. Yes. Justin Deering says, Hey, dig ahead. Hey, I had to study this recently. I learned that the older you get, the more likely the kid is to have some of the biggest problems in the universe, some autism just gets a freenia. I'm attending nothing about alcoholism, though. I'm attaching a brief page,

a brief three and a half page article. I mean, fucking break. Guys, could you fit this in a tweet form for me? Getting the bullet points. Yeah. 19 tweets, right? 30, the many bullet points. It's one where you guys start showing damage as young as 35, but other guys seem to have invulnerable sperm into their 70s. So we're all in that category.

Right. Yeah, we don't need to check that out. Interesting study though. It doesn't apply to anyone listening or anyone here. Okay, let's see. Depends on where you make your test. This one's from Chairman Last One. This one's from Chairman Ham.

Your pituitary can produce a small amount, I believe, of testosterone. Oh. Towards the end of the episode, towards the end of the episode, there's a suggestion to make a Patreon goal of having a live show. A great idea if you ask me, right? Wouldn't that be great?

A great at a bar, a theater or something like that? The same thing, but at a bar there. But I know from the Biggest Problem podcast that operating a second show that's similar but different to the original can turn into a train wreck. Since my last email could be construed as being negative, I thought I'd do something positive and give some advice on how to make a great live show.

Step one from Chairman Ham, go to YouTube. Okay, seems pretty easy. Step two in the search bar type biggest problem live. Oh, okay. Step three, the hardest part, watch biggest problem live episodes one through four. Okay. Step three.

You didn't read these before. Step four. Do nothing that read these before. Step four. Do nothing that you see on this show. There you go. Four easy steps to make sure your live show will at least be better than dog shit. Keep up the good work and go fuck yourself, chairman ham. So, you know, useful.

I was actually surprised I got to four points. I thought point three was gonna be kill yourself. Yeah, so. No, he's being helpful. Yeah. I do think it would be fun to do a show at a theater. You know what came to my mind first. Yeah, so no, he's being helpful. Yeah, I do think it would be it would be fun to do a show at a theater. You know what came to my mind. Exactly, exactly like this. Not having some fucking YouTube advisor buttering not not banning me from using my real name and making me use some cockamame

ridiculous fake name on the broadcast. What were you gonna say? The first thing that came to mind was the live action trailer park boys show. We went to what do we see that the L. Ray? Oh, yeah, that was when I started the fight with those guys who wouldn't sit down. No, this is the only story. Why did you get kicked out of that? No, no, no, no, with trailer park boys show. What I was doing was appropriated. So coach and I held a duet get kicked out of at the L. Ray. Yeah. Well, was it the L. Ray? Oh, Sean, probably. The fuck was right. So coach and I were at this trailer park boy show. And we had also got a couple other friends of mine were going this guy and his brother

were both very big guys, both very big guys, both very rowdy guys. I think they were from Backies, they were from Boston or something. They were like the kind of guys that seem like a different species of human. Like they, they, wouldn't you agree with that? Like they were like, I don't know how tall they were. They were like as tall as my dad.

That's how tall, that's how tall they were. I'm like, I just look at you and I'm like, I don't know, how old are you? Like an elf. Are you like L round the, but you're also beefy. Like what it fuck you? What did you win some kind of genetic lottery

where you're six, five and your shoulders are shaped like a fucking action figure? These two mother fuckers, like whatever. We're going to trailer park boys. We all love trailer park boys. So we go in the show and everyone is high and drunk as fuck at the trailer park boys. So these guys in front of us, they wouldn't sit down. They wouldn't sit down the whole show.

And it was like, like this isn't a rock concert. It's a comedy show. Like it's a comedy show where the bulk of the show is Ricky, a character in the trailer park boys, doing a PowerPoint of pictures of where he's drawn dicks on everyone's face. And then in between that, you'd go behind a curtain and smoke weed. Yeah, and smoke weed.

He really would do that. I'm sure he would. So these guys, so we're high. They're truly above the, he of course. He had his Tom Collins of whiskey diet. He drinks Tom Collins? Isn't that the name of the glass?

Well, there is a glass. Well, Tom Collins is a, is a drink. It is a drink. But also you put it in a Collins glass. It's a Collins glass. So he, I think that's what he has. I don't know, it's a, it's a cup. It's a glass.

It's like one of those little three inch glasses. Yeah, he had that the whole time. So we're high, we're high and drunk and tired and want to sit down. And we want to sit to fuck down. And the theater is not that the whole time. So we're high, we're high and drunk and tired. And we wanna sit down. And we wanna sit the fuck down and the theater is not that crowded because it's trailer park boys. And we know about, we paid like a hundred bucks

for these tickets or something like that. We just wanna fucking sit down. But these jackasses in front of us won't sit down. We ask them nicely, like we do the whole thing where we go, dude, can you just sit down? They're like, they're drunk, they're drunk and high, and they're feeling like they're embigued by the rebellious spirit of the trailer park. What's it like?

What's it like dealing with you? Oh, I'll tell you what it's like dealing with me. After they failed to talk them into sitting down, I just lean forward and grab the hoodie on his sweatshirt and yanked him down. No shit. Yeah, I should sit the fuck down. So they turn, they jump up and they're like, you wanna go, you wanna go.

And these two uber mench that we came with besides me and Lakush, they stand up like instantly looking like colossus and cyclops like ready to fucking pound these guys. They look like Mark Wolbert must have looked before he beat that Asian guy to death. Like they just, they stand up and they're ready to throw these guys through the ceiling into outer space.

And the girl that they're with, because the girl's always known who's gonna lose a fight. The girl's like, okay, okay, just sit down guys. Just sit down. And I'm just sitting there. So, coach turns to me. I'm sitting there thinking like I did nothing wrong because we fucking asked.

We asked them. Like they did the first thing to us. I didn't do that to them first. There's nothing wrong with asking someone to sit down and it's kind of ridiculous to stand for a whole comedy show. A whole fucking comedy show man. That everybody's smoking weed, just sit the fuck down.

Just fucking listen and laugh, would you? Just everybody just relax. Don't poke, don't fuck with me. So after the show, my life coach comes over and what did you say? You said something like, you said something like, I can't believe you did that. Like, aren't you ever worried that one of these things

that you do will have, like you get encouraged too much by doing these things. And right when he said that, right after he said that both of those gigantic men walked over, and the one goes, man, that was awesome when you do that. I was ready to fucking roll. I was like, yeah, it was, because I was doing the right thing.

That's why I was doing the right, anyway. Let's get this, let's get this so vosh guy on the line. So he can, he can talk to us about Dustin. I completely forgot about that. Yanking that guy down. Me too. No shit. Good fucking feeling. Yeah.

Oh, it was like a reverse Excalibur. Like I grabbed them and yanked him back into the stone. Like Excalibur is a shit sword and I just plugged it right back in and said, fuck you. Yeah. So Vash, are you there? I'm right here. How's it going? Hey, buddy, how are you?

Doing good. How are you guys doing? Good. Everyone's right here. How's it going? Hey buddy. How are you doing good? How are you guys doing good? Everyone's doing good. Everyone's doing fine. So you have you have one of my favorite recurring bits on Reddit just because it's so shitty Thanks, I think yeah, it's the summary of the great questions Dustin brings in and then you say whether or not it's worth listening to. I mean, I love it because you basically grade my answers as well. I try to, yeah. Okay.

So, but I did see this recurring sentiment of me hand waving your concerns away. So I figured, hey, everything's a contest on this show. It's a hate machine. The entire show, clearly. It's a bomb. It's like the bomb and adventure time that just unleashed on this show. It's a hate machine, the entire show clearly. It's a bomb. It's like the bomb and adventure time that just unleashed all this hell over the world. I wanted to give you the chance to air your grievances

and I assume you're some kind of surrogate for everyone that's unhappy on Reddit. Okay, well, I'm not representing Reddit at all. You came to me for the, because I do that bitch. Okay, we'll play along. Good start. But what are your, what are your grievances with Dustin? I really do want to know. Okay. So personally, I don't think Dustin's a bad guy. What's the weather? The main deal is he's not a performer like, yeah, he starts talking and the show just comes to a screeching halt. That's the basic issue.

Do you think, do you really think it comes to a screeching halt? Because I get a lot of positive feedback about Dustin. Not from Reddit. Well, okay, maybe not from Reddit, but email. It's like the parents television council. Like everybody who's talking isn't representative of everyone. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I know, I hear you.

Like maybe that's just what my personal opinion on it. Like I'm sure he's a great guy. The question is he brings you find, but I'm not a professional performer. He's clearly not a professional talker. Neither am I for that matter. Totally get all of those. So what would you propose? Like what would in your ideal scenario, what would what would you like as a listener

and as an official representative of red and as an official representative of red of red it. That's not my business. Okay. So I just do a couple of ideas. Do you guys go through a couple ideas? Yeah, let me get your ideas. Okay. Dustin can still gather the questions then for them to shine the co-host maybe. Okay, but look, I'm not going to pay Sean more. That sounds like no way for Sean. Okay, how about this? Dustin comes in once a month with a better pool of questions. He might be scraping the bottom of the barrel sometimes. Oh, you think so? Maybe, I don't know. Have you noticed that? Well, the horse sized Maddox, the duck sized Maddox question a few weeks ago.

A lot of people didn't like that. Yeah, I noticed that. I thought it was a little, I thought that was a little goofy of a question too. Well, yeah, I just learned it on the job. Kiss learning in the job. Yeah. Like, how good would I be doing that?

I don't know. So, okay. Do you have any questions for us? Okay. Okay, here's a question. Okay. Program the questions into Microsoft, say, um, it would have a better delivery and it would sound more human that way at least. Oh, that's a slam. That's not a question. What about Siri? Siri would work too. I don't know very much about Siri, but sure, yeah, that's the sexier voice. Well,

does it do? On Android, do you have a feature that absolutely no one uses? I probably have an Android. I don't use half of the features. I just call my girlfriend for a ride home after work. That's about it. What's your girlfriend look like? She's pretty hot.

How hot? How hot are we talking? Probably, I know seven out of 10. Oh, all right. What's propping her above a six and keeping your below and eight? You know what she's gonna be listening to this. So I don't know why I'm asking Too late. Yeah, what kind of what kind of body are we talking about? Did you already did the worst thing possible? You put a number on it

Now is let me give you some it let me give you a dick tip here. Now is the time to talk about her like she's a 10 and then later say, I don't know numbers. I'm not a number. This is where you can save yourself, basically. Yeah. That's true. I'm not really a numbers guy. I know. She's great. She's, she's the best in my life. That's all I can do. We say about that. Oh my God. Good, good, good, good. What a pussy. I'm just busting your balls. All right, what else? What are the other things? What are the things you can say?

Okay, so there was talk about having a hot babe come and read the news. You know, maybe my girlfriend, maybe not. I don't know. Anyway, she could come in and read the news and read the questions. So I'll tell you this. I have been looking for a hot babe

and I have some traction on that. Do you, there's hot babes everywhere, like what's the holdup, bread and school and crazy, both of that? Well, they don't leave their beds. That hot babes in LA are like, are like job of the hut. They sit in bed and they watch Netflix and they text like let little, that little Gremlin guy that sticks next to job of the hut. They text a man exactly like him And he brings them food and drama. Like he will drop, he will drop anything to

come over. And I actually put up, so first of all, there is a babe coming in to read the news by the name of Jackie Bray. She said she would come in, but she looks very far away. So I don't know, I want to, I want to see what you guys think. I don't want to make the same mistake with bringing in a girl that you hate, right? Jackie is a hot name. Right? Hot name. Except I've dated a Jackie and I hate her, so there might be too much venom whenever I talk. I put up an ad on Craigslist as well, but I don't think it was a very good ad because I

haven't had any responses for it yet. I need a hot woman for something that totally isn't sexual. Yeah, but in caps. In all the caps, okay, yeah. Yeah, so it's common, man. It's common. I just, I'm very slow. What's very slow? I'm very slow at getting things done.

Oh, yeah. So, Vos, does that answer your question? I suppose, though, yeah, I guess. You guess? What about a rotating chair idea then for whoever else would want to do it? Like maybe a stereo's cocoa puffs might want to come and do some stuff.

Well, here's the thing. It's twofold really. It's about reliability, number one. Somebody who can be there, somebody who is there, that is number one. Somebody who is there reliably to bring in content that I love talking about. And I think people like listening to,

like the story with Sean and some of the, they might not all be winners to you or to anybody. But I do think he brings in good content. Number two, I think the point that's really getting lost in all this is I have a measure of respect for a man who does this, who, for Dustin, who goes and gathers the questions on his own volition and puts himself in a position every week reliably, where he can call in and deliver them.

And I do feel I have this, I have this internal morality where I feel like it would be kind of dicking him over to take the questions and say, let Sean read them. Like Sean's, Sean gets enough attention. He's the most beautiful man on the internet. Apparently some woman was saying, they want to, they want to date with you. Somebody called in and said, you're man me. It's disgusting. But I think that taking the questions, I just, I personally feel like taking his work and giving it to someone else to enjoy is a level of, of, of cuckledry. Is a, is a cuck and I don't, I don't want to participate in cuckery.

I don't want to be called a cuck. I don't want to be in the same league or even in the same neighborhood of cuck. If he selects good questions, who cares who reads them? Why can't he just read them? Well, that's it. Shauvash, he's still there. That's a good question from Sean.

What do you think about that? Well, that's what I'm saying. Like, Dustin's not a performer. Like, Sean is a natural performer. You know, he's cute of the Mark Marins, how do you engineer? That's a scientific fact right there, right? Is that true?

We should have a sound engineer, beauty pageant. All I know is, that's a good idea. That's a good idea. Sovash, all I know is, that's a good idea. That is a good idea. So Vash, all I know is that it took probably 40 to 50 episodes of a last show before I was comfortable at all on the air. Yeah. I would just, I would imagine all the people who would listen to this and hope I wouldn't say anything too stupid.

And now it's really easy to talk. And then you deleted it, edit it out. Did that once? You have done it. I'm not saying it's, I'm not saying it's really easy to talk. And then you edit it out. Did that once? You have done it. I'm not saying it's anything wrong with that. Like you're here to, you know, I appreciate everything you do with the show. I don't care if you take a couple of vanity edits. Yeah.

Clip out a, Clip out of who's your father? Clip out of a couple of, a couple of clips. Like maybe you fucked up on a little, Larry sure had a list of edits. Didn't need for us. You ever see, Larry was like, a, a, a, a, a Metallica rolling off his stage and saying, here's my fucking writer of edits that I want made of the show. Hi Larry. Oh, man. We'll do it. You know, I guess, you know, he's figuring you, you have to live in the real world.

Yes, you do. And it's all about relationships. Yeah. And unfortunately, nobody has any sense of humor anymore. No, they don't. No. Look, so, Vash, do you want to call back again with something? Do you want to put something together and call back again? I want to talk to you about it, but I also want to keep the show moving. Sure. Absolutely. I'll see what I can do. We'll talk later. I'm glad you called in.

Thank you for having me. All right. You have a good one. You too. Take care, guys. See you. All right. Now I got bad news, now I got bad news for Dustin because we're going to hand next. I got bad news for Selvage, excuse me. Either one.

Hey, Dustin, you there. Hey, what's going on, Dick and hear me? Yeah. How you doing? Did you hear any of that? I heard a little bit, I heard most of it. I had to stop it at the very end so that I could swap over to the Skype machine.

Okay. What do you think? What do you think about this sovosh guy claiming he's the rep of all of Reddit? I'll tell you what. I don't know. He seemed a little nervous for calling in. Oh, don't start. I can't understand.

I can't understand. I can't understand. Look, you learned nothing. First off, no, I just wanna say, I understand. I understand what it's like. When you jump on a podcast for the first time and you're really putting yourself out there, right? You're literally, you're walking through the moorlocks,

getting ready to get stabbed to death in a, in a figurative gutter. That's true. Basically what this is. And I'm actually glad that he came on board to talk. You've been trying to get somebody from Reddit to come on board and talk for, since the show began and no one would do it. So Sovosh, come and forth, mad props to you for coming on and doing that.

I read your write-up every single week. I think it's fucking hilarious. It is great. It's fantastic. I think it adds a lot to the show. I really, really do. And I'm also glad that the Reddit community is, they support you enough that, you know, when you ask them for help because you had no idea what the hell to say, they were able to provide you with

enough content that you could kind of carry yourself. I also did notice that William Clinton was on there giving you a little bit of vice. Also, William, I'm sorry that the cereals banned you from the Facebook, but I accepted you. So you're back. You can come back whenever you want now. There is so much bullshit that goes on in online for my un-fucking believable that these grown men are doing this. It is unfacken believable. All right, cool. Now I know what it feels like to be in a glory hole. There you go. I had with men getting jerked off on all sides of me. Dustin, what have you got today?

What kind of questions you got for us today? Well, last thing before I start the questions. Okay. If somebody could let me know, what does it mean to be cringey? Because I have no fucking idea. They keep saying that I'm cringey. What does that mean?

I don't understand it. I don't have a definition on the tip of my tongue, but you are not it. No, I take it to mean you're kind of embarrassed for them in the whole situation where you're like, oh my god, don't say that. Stop. Remember that scene? I don't know who's seen you guys have seen swingers. Yes, this one on Jon Favreau. That scene where he calls the girl he just met like over and over and over again in the apology, that's cringe worthy. Yeah. And what does it mean when there's spaghetti coming out of your pockets? Well, that's usually, that usually implies that you fucked up with a woman.

Like if you come up to a woman and you start just unloading, it's from a story that someone told on on 4chan. Where they were. Yeah, I think for some reason they had left over Spaghetti in their pocket and they were trying to hit on a woman and they reached into their pocket and accidentally smushed a bunch of actual spaghetti out of their pockets.

It was spags so many more questions. That's why it's a meme. Like that's why it's become a meme. But it usually means you fucked up with a girl by embarrassing yourself. So whoever's ever using it's become a meme. But it usually means you fucked up with a girl by embarrassing yourself. So whoever's ever using it is using it incorrectly. Call the police. I have no idea what the hell that even fucking man,

I read it, I was like, I don't even like spaghetti with that. It's anonymous with being cringe-y. Okay, so questions this week from Dickheads on Facebook. Admiral Stiff Plank writes in. Which fantastic fat most Admiral Admiral at most the plane because you wouldn't respect them if you was the man there's the man there's back that guy

now that is kind of serious as well how would I dump a bipolar girl legit confirmed by a medical professional that I live with p.s. go fuck yourself force feeder medication and then leave the state that's actually... Yeah, can you, and you can't get them on meds, can you? What? Bipolar? Sure. Well, force them, though.

Oh, you can't force anybody to take their meds. That's why this, you know, skits a phrenix that, you know, they're homeless and they might commit a violent act or something. They're almost always on medics. Man, you've got to... This is really the only advice I can give when you're breaking up with women or men or on either side. Because it works both ways where men in relationships and they worry about women harming themselves. They're concerned, perhaps rightly or wrongly, with women hurting themselves,

or what kind of emotional condition they'll be in after the breakup. And vice, on the other side, women are worried about, men stalking them, which happens. They're usually more concerned about their personal safety because they're women. Let's be honest. They got something to worry about.

This is true. This is true. You really have to be as direct and detached and unemotional as possible. You've got to psych yourself up beforehand. You've got to exercise any feeling you have about controlling and being responsible for their emotional state because it's on them. Absolutely correct. And that's the only thing they know is how to intertwine their negative emotions with your emotions because they're all the same to them. So they'll try to play you out.

They'll try to pull it at you like they're trolling. They'll throw out these questions like don't these hypotheticals like don't you think this and don't you think that and what if this and this is making me, like, don't these hypotheticals, like, don't you think this and don't you think that? And what if this and this is making me feel like I can't control myself? They'll try to bait your feelings and your emotions out. And you just gotta be the rock of Gibraltar. I think that's legendarily, yeah, that's steady and straight.

You've gotta be 100% clear, like ripping off a bandaid. You've gotta be clear about, this isn't working for me. I'm done. That's it. That's a breakup. You don't need, there's no aftercare. You can't make it any worse. Get rid of this idea that you have control over whether or not

it's worse post breakup, because you don't. It's gone. And whatever they choose to do with it, like quite frankly, giving them any kind of hope afterwards, like trying to lessen the blow is just you making them more rely more on you and your emotional support. So you just got to get in there clean, like the wind. You got to get in there, you got to stab them in the heart, like a vampire. Then you get in there, knock their coffin lit over, stab them in the heart, and then you're gone. That's it.

It sounds, sounds slightly illegal. What? Oh, that's a metaphor. Yeah, it doesn't look okay. Gotcha. All right. Unless she is a vampire, in which case you owe it to all of us. Right. That should go without saying. There's millions of people out there just like her. They all need help. Randomly you happen to be around this one. So, you know, detach.

Jeff Chatham, how do you deal with the fuck up for a boss? Mine is Clueless in the extreme, and I teach him stuff which he immediately doesn't understand. But has lots of input on how to look important, how do I protect this guy's ego and keep my job at the same time? Oh boy. There's a lot of threads down, Ravel, on that one. Why is it so important to...

I mean, you don't have to... Why is it so important to play Kate your boss? Yeah. I mean, you don't want to act like a dick, but you could just agree with everything he says. Why constantly try to correct him? Yeah, you know, is he asking for any input? So it doesn't seem like it. This is one way to think about it.

The Peter principle is something that I believe in. I'll probably talk about it in another episode, but I don't know what that is. The basic idea is something that I believe in. I'll probably talk about it in another episode, but I don't know what that is. The basic idea is everybody is promoted to a point of their incompetence. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're good at work, you get promoted until you're no longer good.

So by definition, everybody in a managerial role or in a working at a high level, or even a mid-level manager in a company, wherever you're working, is going to be incompetent because that's where they stopped performing. So that's where they stopped getting promoted. They would have been competent at every step below that. Yeah, and they probably were.

So they know how to do your job, so you're an idiot, but they can't do their job. And maybe you can, and that's the thing to keep in mind. If you can, you should be gunning for that job. Like for every second you spend worrying about what your boss is doing wrong, is a second you could be spending, trying to get that fucking job either at that company or anywhere else.

There's no more gold watches anymore. There's no reward for loyalty. There's no reward for knowing the right answer when it's not part of your job description. If you know it, get paid for it. You're not supposed to even posit the right answer if you're at a certain level. No. They keep everybody so compartmentalized.

No. It's like, can't go off script. Can't go off script. Can't think for myself. All right, buddy, you got one more for us? Let's end it before. We got a couple of good questions in there. We're gonna wrap it up. We've been going too long. Sounds good. All right, buddy, that's my, you got one more for us? Let's end it before. We got a couple good questions in there.

We're gonna wrap it up. We've been going too long. Sounds good, right? All right. Hey, thanks Dustin. Hey, thanks as always. Check out Facebook.com slash group slash the Dicks show, right? I heard it's Bedlam in there though.

It not. Listen, this week's been crazy, but I assure you very soon things will be back to normal. Okay, that sounds ominous. And my normal one is pure fucking insanity. That sounds like something I don't believe. All right, now I'm seriously thank you. You got to have a good one.

All right, coach, you got any things to make you a rage? We're going to get to that next time maybe. Come on again and give us something that gives you a rage. I can get you on the board. Sure. What do you think about that? You'll be on the bonus episodes, of course. We're going to fix something big. You, you, me and Denzele are going to fix something big. I've got, I've got to get my man on. I'm

going to try to get my man on next week because he and I are going to be at burning man's together and I totally fucked him over. But I learned that he won the celebrity shame pool. Really? Yeah. Oh? Yeah. Oh yeah, we can talk about that next week if I can get him on. I'll try to get low text on the line for fuck's sake. This has been the DIC show.

I'm DIC Master's in checkout patreon.com slash the DIC show. If you want to donate, if you want to be part of the Rage Lottery, go to DIC dot show. If you want to read the write up and see the fan art and participate in the the hate machine that is the comment section of this podcast.

Go fuck yourself, that you were on. And you were talking about your dad. And he made me think, wow, that guy can fucking rage. I guarantee you, you should bring him on the show. I think, well, I like it. If you won't, bye bye. That's wonderful. Yeah, well, he would like it.

That's for sure. Yeah. He said, he said yesterday, he goes, hey, I got a topic for you show. I'll tell you what, it's making me rage. I'm gonna get what then. What do you got? He says, NBC, I don't know where to watch boxing.

I think they censored it. I'm like, what do you mean censored? He goes, a Olympic boxing. Yeah, Olympic boxing. He says, I think they censored it because they don't, what do you mean? It's something that goes, Olympic boxing? Yeah, Olympic boxing. He says, I think they censored it because they don't want to promote violence. Wouldn't surprise me. Oh, wouldn't surprise me.

You know what I actually saw Olympic boxing yesterday. When was it? Oh, like, mid afternoon. Well, that's like, you watch TV. So I don't know what he, but I was like, I said, what else you got? Have you seen this? He goes, no, that's it. I think that's what they're doing.

I'm like, all right, Dad, that's a pretty quick sound bite. Well, he's really gregarious. He is. Yeah. He does not have the same venom as I do about a lot of things. There was a, he's been having this problem. My parents have been having this problem with a dog barking behind their house. Like next to their neighbors,

they're just letting their dog bark out of control. And we were all hanging out at their place. My brother-in-law and I turned to each other. We're all sitting there together. And we're starting, we're concocting these plans to murder this dog. We're like, we gotta kill this fucking thing. It's just nonstop this, like Husky or Akita.

It's howling and barking and howling. We're like, I don't know how to, how do we kill this dog? I need maybe a BB gun, but then they'll find BBs, like a loaf of bread with some antifreeze on it, but then they'll eat half the bread, and maybe they'll know, like it'll start throwing up antifreeze all of that.

Like maybe a slingshot with an ice cube, like just to make it afraid of coming up to the fence. So my father goes, just a minute, I'll go over there. So he goes over there, walks over the neighbor's house and has a very, he's got this switch where he can just turn everything into this real nice, like what's going on. Oh yeah. Let's work together to solve this problem in a way that takes me, it takes much, it takes a much bigger effort for me to flick that switch. Oh yeah. Then it does him.

But I'm sure he'd love to be on the show. I don't, I'll do my best. Maybe next father's best. Hey, somebody just reminded me, we were gonna open my present. Oh my God, how did we, let's do that. Let's open your present, go ahead. I'm glad.

Okay, what is this a card or is this? No, it's a bomb. They put them in envelopes and it's like a unibomber. Who's this from? Oh, Derek Gouley, thanks man. Don't know if I say thanks until I see what the fuck. Well, it's still a present either way. I heard Sean needs it.

I heard Sean needs a new clock. I hope this helps. Is it the shape of a clock? I don't be such a spoiler. Who may? College. Over there, predicting presents. That's the same, same. The noise of Christmas.

Sorry, it looks more like a wine bottle. Could be anything. It looks like a wine bottle. Hey, hey. You know what? This is great because I could actually use this. What is it? What is it?

It's a clock. It's a regular clock. It's a use this. What is it? What is it? It's a clock. It's a regular clock. It's a regular clock. Is that help? Is that gonna help you? I was hoping like the second hand would be like a flying penis.

Derek, I appreciate it. I'm going around in the face. Yeah. All right, here's another one. No, I know exactly where it's gonna go too. Up your ass. No. What is wrong with it?

Why does that your answer for everything? Hey, Dick. Joining the army. I've been training on my own. But today I got trained with another dude, joining up and I realized I'm running. I'm running pretty fast, but I'm not in first place. I start thinking what you always say. Everything is a fucking contest, right?

Everything is a contest. Yeah. So I'm running, I'm pushing myself harder, harder, harder. And I've been eating this guy in our little four-mile run. Everything is a contest. Yeah, so I'm running push myself harder harder harder And if beating this guy in our little four-mile run Yeah, I thought fucking good man. So thanks to good motivation the word dick that show people get better versions of them So tell yeah, everything's a contest. Don't feel later. Yeah That's awesome US Army dick that show Yeah, that's awesome. US Army, dick that show. Check it out.

Making the whole soldier of one, making your soldier of one better, a better, more efficient, stronger, tougher, killing machine. Yeah, take that oil. Mm-hmm. All right. Got another?

Yeah, I got a bunch. Hey, I paid $5 a month to pay Trian, and I think I'm allowed in entitled to make it. You guys got a weird voice. He's making fun of himself. Dustin has autism, and Dustin shouldn't be allowed on the show anymore. Also banned that mysterious cuck-a-nose guy

from the Facebook group, because he's a cuck. Thank you. I'll appreciate it. He called back again, He had more this thing. Really? Yeah. And another thing is we need an actual comedian to read questions. Those things are funny at all. All he does is come in and ask for question.

And he doesn't even say, Cuck wants. We need a master comedian to come into the podcast and do his greatest thick master said impression uh... i pay five dollars a month and i appreciate that big mac with that money but i i choose to be an executive producer i'm a big deal so i need

all of my demands should be met or otherwise i'm pulling my five dollars okay five-haul fucking stupid dollars. Oh I appreciate every dollar. Well if you want to make up for that guys donation with the funny voice go to patreon.com slash the dick show. Hey I'm calling about the Dustin opinions subreddit. I was wondering if we could get the moderation going on over there. I noticed somebody was talking about a dick show.

I'm not sure if we should be talking about porn on this Dustin opinion subreddit. But I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.

I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. Well, too high brow. A little more Mark Marin than Dick's show. That fucking story almost made me fucking throw up. It should have been. It should have been.

I'm not storing anything like that one. Alright, oh, this one might be good. Dick, did Sean delete your fucking brain? You're talking about fucking Syria and then all of a sudden, oh, let's bomb Mecca. Do you know what propagates the kind of shit that leads them to recruit? Is that long? Oh, it's true.

You were. Maybe they were born. Maybe they grew up here. Maybe they fucking served in our military. Maybe they have religious sacred homeland that has nothing to do with the terrorists you're proclaiming to be Muslims. I mean that was a show. The mecha one. Yeah. Yeah. We'll trade Utah. What do you say? I think he said you're great or your handsome or something about how beautiful you are as some shit. You were basically saying,

we'll trade Utah for Mecca. But don't all the Syrian refugees probably love Mecca? Isn't that a Muslim thing? Mecca? Oh yeah. Yeah. So that would mean something to them. That would be stakes to them, right? Like if we bet the White House against Mecca

and some kind of a robot jox game. Oh, that would be staked. That would be staked. That's all I'm saying. We don't care about Utah. Yeah, if we cared about like if we put up, if we put up the White House, if we put up, if we put up the Playboy Mansion, what would we have to put up to equal, what's the Mecca of the US? Disneyland. if we put up Disneyland versus Mecca, that's it, we get it. Whoever loses has got to give it to the other one. They'll put many in a job.

If we win, we got to lift that whole thing out of the ground and drop it into Syria. That's all I'm saying. Let's put some stakes on the Olympics. I'm reminded of Gosling in a fracture where he says, this is kind of winning. Being America is winning. I'm not of Gosling in a fracture where he says, this is kind of winning. Being America is winning. I'm not sure what's this contest. Well, how do we declare winners and losers in the Olympics? It was the Olympics. It was the Olympics on the Olympics.

Okay, okay. Like whoever's, you know, more runs faster. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got you. The gold doesn't mean anything to me. I need some stakes. Yeah, yeah, I need some money on it. I'm with this y'all I'm saying. All right. Done. Done. Done. All right. I need some stakes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I need some money on it. I'm worth it, y'all, I'm saying. All right. Done? Done, done. All right. I got it all out of my system. Good for you.