The Dick Show - Episode 123 - Dick on Getting the Band Back Together

Episode Date: October 9, 2018

A cold bidet, Sean agrees to get the band back together for Road Rage: Nashville, body building, female empowerment, and moms I wouldn't like to f**k, penis knowledge is power and other forms of male dominance, a fat woman chews on a pen at the bank, Owen Benjamin plays piano for men and women and believes in the deep state, I believe all women, the Christmas season begins, Karl from "Who Are These Podcasts?" deconstructs The Best Debate in the Universe, I tell several tell comedy jokes and give Maddox a brilliant idea for his non-existent bonus episodes, Andy Warski calls in about Blaire White and the future of trolling, Dickels are back, fursecution is back, the Trumpkin hat is back, and the back of Sean's love pillow is a crew neck; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Okay, let's start the show. It's a level 02. We got a lot, we got a lot to get through today. Here we go. Presenting. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Ready. Hey. Yeah. Yeah. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Welcome to Dig. Take it, ready? Yeah! Hey, welcome to Dig! You want dig, you love dig, you need dig, you got it! It's the show where everything is a contest.

Coming to you live from a mountain bunker deep in the heart of the city of failure I'm your host. Dick Masterson, aka the 20 million dollar man voted America's best Mexican. With me is always a shawling gotty engineer. Oh, look at that. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, go away, I don't want to talk to you. Because that's what you need to be able to say. They should just teach you sick burns, you know? Like they should, all of high school freshmen Spanish should be how to say Arnold Schwarzenegger's lines as Mr. Freeze in Batman Return. I never saw that one.

You never saw that one. No, nothing. I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made.

I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made.

I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made. I think it's the best movie ever made. everything. Right? Yeah, we got to do, well, we have to do, uh, freeze them of speech, doesn't mean freeze them from consequence. That's one of the lines that he says.

And we have to do demolition, man. Yeah, we really do. People are telling me that that gets quoted all the time, like all over the internet. And obviously I have none of these references. I quoted. I bet if you, I honestly think that if you go back at the end of your life, my life and look at how many of the things I said are you got it from? Catched worked from different movies, probably like 80%. Jesus. Things I've said. I made 80s girl watch.

Can we do that this week? Yeah, let's do it. Yeah. Our ends date. I wanted to do it last week, but I've been sick all week. And I didn't call you anyway. It's your fault. Sure, I'll take that.

Yeah, it's your fault. I know, we talked about it afterward. Let's do it this week. God, I've been sick all week. The comedy gods, I think, are punishing me with the Hershey squirts for how unfunny I was being. Last week, with all that Kavanaugh shit, I was being very hot penis about it.

But last week's episode was one of the best ones I think we've ever done. You know what? Well, every time I've had everything. It did. Yeah. It did it had a heated political argument. It had everything in it.

It had rape apology. It had the cornerstones of the Dixiel. Rap apology. Women laughing, hot women getting on and then laughing too much. I know. But we had eight and two. We had eight and two. She's phenomenal.

We had Tanner. Oh, good. Good God. I have. That was the most jam packed episode. I think we've ever done. He's talking about Tanner. Tanner banging to twin men independently. And it was saying it was jam packed up a so I think we've ever done. He's talking about Tanner, Tanner banging to twin men independently.

And it was saying it was jam packed. Yeah, it was. And they also, they didn't know they were banging him. Well, that's one of the best stories I've ever heard. Everyone was a victim. Everyone was a victim. Just goes to show you how far confidence goes, you know? Tanner thinks he's banging a guy, he's banging his twin brother.

He walks up and sticks his finger up his ass like the crocodile hunter on South Park. And it pulls it off. Yeah, pulls it off, right? Stuck his thumb and his bonga. You know, you know, those movies when the guy like, like, am I croaky? The wave, they have like a big thing and then the guys got to like meet the girl again for the first time because time gets erased or like, there's something like Adam Sandler and Drew Baramore

and like, 51states. Those movies give me such a tremendous anxiety when they're over because I'm thinking like, I couldn't do that. If I had to start over knowing what I know in the future, I don't think I could pull that off. Like, I think I would definitely fuck it up. You know? It's never a happy, when you have to start over

at the end of the movie, I'm like, oh, so what, he's got to be like a total sociopath for their whole relationship. How does he rebuild what he had there? So Bill Murray is a complete fucking sociopath in Groundhog Day. He's just like a manipulator like for over over months and months. Exactly.

It fills me with such terrible anxiety. Anyway, everybody, if you didn't like that, it could have been funnier. The stuff we were talking about. I mean, it was, believe all women was the topic. And I like the whole thing. I did too. The mustard song, by the way, was incredible.

Oh, yeah, to people like that. People were singing and clapping and the parking guy told me, was pushing, pushing shopping cards for his job and he just threw the carts down and started doing, singing along and clapping. We have a silent rave all across the country. It is a synchronous silent rave. People jamming out to the mustard song. You did a phenomenal job.

Oh, John, thank you. On the guitar. I, uh, I thought about that a lot this week. And, uh, I need to, I need to start playing. We need to start doing stuff. I'm tired of not, you know what, you know what I thought? Honestly afterwards, I had so much fun. I thought, why don't we write a couple songs

and turn road rage Nashville into like a music festival? We're doing Nashville? What about Seattle? Well, yes, that too. I'm talking to the drunken peasants on that right now. It's a bit business thing, because the Diego I pay when I want to clear it by them and make sure they're okay with the money.

Got it. But what if we did something like that where we had like an EP or something and got all the music guys involved to do some kind of a simple short set at Nashville? I thought that would be fun. And that actually scares me which means I need to do it. Yeah, you have to do it. So okay. Yeah, I'll agree to that on air. Awesome. I did it. I win it took me two years years. I'm going to cut that part. I pick up on it. I've been trying to get the band back together for seven years. Yeah. It's finally going

to come true. Well, this is my, this is my years arc. I know it's getting the band back together. But it's like, you got it. At some point, it's like, uh, get over whatever and get if, if people want it, they they pay they pay a lot of money I've made I never thought I would make money off a podcast if they what I you have to you have to give it to them Yeah, you just do it's like it's it's it's it's it's dickish to withhold it with your shirt off They want that too. That's too much Patreon's got to hit 35 grand a month either way what you know know, Dr. Nurse, that nurse, that lady that says she's huge on Maddox's

side, then he's, Maddox called the police on her because she started talking to me on Twitter. Yeah. Of course, she said she's very attractive. She's a stalker. That's, I mean, she's a stalker, psych, as he called Maddox, called her a stalker. I'm sure. Exactly. She says you're very attractive. She's a stalker. That's, I mean, she's a stalker. Psycho. Yeah, he called her a stalker. I'm sure. Exactly.

She says you're very attractive. She's very young. She wants to ride the Sean John. Oh boy. Sean's John. Son. I don't think I want to get on anybody's bad side. Hey, you know how it's Christmas time.

I don't know if you know that. Christmas time is starting. Yeah. Yeah. I'll tell you how I know that winter day after Labor Day, Christmas time Yeah, I'll tell you mean blowsby. Oh, thanks. Yeah. This is how I know that winters here You know the the bidet that I had installed over the summer that dickhead sent me. Yeah, first of all shooting icicles up your ass. Yeah, yeah, I sat down. I sat down and Yeah, okay. I sat down.

I sat down and gave myself a little tote, little, what I thought would be a little lukewarm refresher yesterday, after... Can you use it in a while or what? Well, it just got cold. This will go. And as I said, I've been sick with the squirts all week. Yeah.

Because of the comedy gods you're punishing me for taking myself so seriously, but I mean, by the way, we really need a, as men, we need a way to have like a, may a culpa, like, I've taken myself too seriously here. Can we just reset and because it's ruined so many of my, so many outings have been ruined by one guy wanting to talk about politics. I'm like, all right, just, I mean, he knows it and everybody knows it, but there's no graceful way out of it, you know?

Yeah, it's like, like, all of, uh, oh, I mean, I just try to make jokes in those situations, like it's just like, yes, by going way over the line. Yeah, something that they couldn't possibly think that I believe. Yeah, yeah, that works for you, but the secret is, yeah, they, uh, uh, oh, and Benjamin's going to be calling in a bit very, very funny comedian and pianist, huge pianist. Yeah. Uh, he's got one who's talking to him about that about that pronunciation ever start huge pianist. Yeah, he just pianist, pianist. It's not a piano. Oh, you're right. You know what? I'm like it's I don't know. I

got a violinist. A cellist. Yeah, it's a low. Yeah. Piano. Pianist. I know. It's not a it's not a it's not a piano. Because we just we really want to say penis all the time. Maybe so like as a society. You know the game have you ever played the game penis? You never played, who said penis, the game, penis? Did you have a website? I did, yeah, yeah, yeah, don't worry about that. Don't talk about that, don't talk about that. It's embarrassing. You sit in class in high school

and you try to whisper the word penis. And then the guy after you has to whisper at louder than that on his turn. You never played this game? Oh, that's a great game. You get five games. Just had all kinds of games in high school that, yeah, because high school's indoctrination prison camp

and we hated every second of it. See, I went to the shitty high school. So all of the shittiest high school in town. Okay, so you went to delinquent high school where there's always hooligans causing trouble to provide entertainment. There were a couple of stabings. Yeah, that's fun.

A lot of thefts. There was a car break-in ring. A bunch of students got busted. They're all part of like a fucking... That's fantastic. Yeah. That's a real Americana right there. Not me, I went to Pleasantville, White High School.

Prove like White Asshole High School. Same town, but you guys, it was a brand new high school. And all the good teachers left the other high schools and went there. Yeah. And they shit in their lockers and left. So we had to make our own games. Does that somehow have a story? No. Oh, I imagine them burning the bridges, I guess. You say one guy says penis and that like penis when it's all quiet the next guy goes

penis right next guy penis I'll try to hide it penis Really until so yeah until the teacher turns around goes What a great game did you just say penis? That's the game. Yeah, who said who said penis when the teacher turns around and says who said penis that guy loses the game Where did you learn that we made it up. So you guys made it up. We called it the devil's triangle. No, we're saying absolutely not over here.

We made it, Jamie, fuck you. You come in and say, I didn't, you've heard of that game. I played that game many times. Okay, okay, so then everybody made up, everyone is made up the game. That's a thing that you go through. Like as a kid, you're like, nobody's ever done this before. It's like we made up a game of throwing trash in the trash can. It doesn't matter that you did it too. We didn't really stealing your fucking penis game. I made the penis game. I made the

who said the penis game. Right. I made it. All right. All right. And it's fun. We'll go with that. That's a great game. Yeah. I never, no, never heard of that. It's only fun in high school though, because that's the only time anyone cares. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If I went to work and did that, I wish there was a fantasy high school camp.

We're gonna need it as all these gen Xers grow up. Like you get to go back and pretend to be in high school for a day and you come in and like draw a random archetype that you get to be like you're the jack or you're the cheerleader, you're on the dance team. Bwah. Fuckin' bangin' twins on the dance team. Wait, what?

I'm thinking like the dance team, oh I think it guys, you're thinking of the man's team. You're talking about, because I thought you were making a joke like, oh yeah, dude on the dance team, oh I think it guys. You're thinking of the man's team. You're talking about, because like, I thought you were making a joke like, oh yeah, there's a dude on the dance team. No, no, no, no, I'm thinking they're probably all women. Yeah, forget it. Yeah, yeah, forget it, move on. Did I tell you about my 20th high school reunion

when I went back to read the announcements? No, because I got booted off the announcements in my senior year, I don't know if I've ever told, I'll tell that story in the bonus episode. Yeah. I went back to read the announcements. No, because I got booted off the announcements in my senior year. I don't know if I've ever told, I'll tell that story in the bonus episode. Yeah. I went back to read the announcements for the hell of it. And there is, dude, there is full on men on the cheerleading squad on the dance team.

It was like an episode of high school high. It was like a rave, the pep rally that I walked into. I couldn't wrap my gen X brain around it. It was crazy. Anyway, what was I talking about? Who said penis the game could I invent? That you're right. There's got to be fantasy camp where you can go back and relive high school to get it out of these motherfuckers systems. Oh, that's, yeah, that's that's that'd be fun. That's probably the best time in life for a lot of people. For a lot of people. Yeah, I guess. All right. Um, anyway, I sat down and I sat down on the old bidet yesterday. Right, right, back to the bidet. I fired it up and I got impaled by a stalagmite. I sickle stalagmite said, whoa, it's winter is here, my friends. Jesus.

I said, woohoo, it's winter is here, my friends. Jesus. Winter came. It hit me and I immediately put on Christmas music. Like, oh God, the only cure for this is my own carry. All I want for Christmas. Ice to meet you. Oh. Watching Batman forever.

That's a shocker. Ice to meet you. Oh. But this, I hope there's a more expensive bidet that has a warm up feature because this is. The fuckers is going to be hibernating for the winter. If this is what I have to look forward to every day, because the first water in the pipes is the one that's been sitting there all night.

Sure. Exposed. Not down deep in the center of the earth where it's still warm. That you get to shoot up And you up the old in your bunghole. All right anyway. Oh, tell you what else makes me rage overall thumbs up on the on the bidet Though I would assume what's up. What's up one butt up. Okay speaking of butts up. I went to a bodybuilding Contest you did last night. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, really? Yeah.

How'd you do? I won the penis division. Oh, nice. I won the exquisite penis ridge. She's a teenest-the-labest. Yeah. I heard her with that guy. I showed up with a, you know, I showed up with a little sarong on and then a G-string,

just, and they're like, why is this fat fucking here? He obviously hasn't worked out in a week because he's been sick, which is the man you're like fucking, you're like a mitch from a regular show that bird. No, like Muscle Man, the fucking, the DJ Bader from the regular show. Is that who that is? I don't watch the regular show. It was a good show. Yeah. It's just like, you know, adult swim, show or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Cartoon Network, I think.

Yeah, Cartoon Network. What is he? What is Mitch? He's like a Frankenstein character kind of who looked, he's real short, but they call him Muscleman, but he's like this green, weird guy, and he's like an out of shape bodybuilder. I went because I was thinking, oh yeah, this is gonna be,

Jamie, Jamie Linhue's was a judge. Oh yeah. It's a bodybuilding contest. So it's like, oh, do you guys wanna come watch the show? I'm like, sure. Yeah, I would like to see anything where you've competed in, because this is gonna be like 12, this is gonna be like 20 Jamie's.

It's like, right? So it's a female, all female? Well, that was another surprise. It's also a penis competition, a penis ridge competition. Man, because the bodybuilders come out and they're right in your face flexing and stuff and you cannot avoid, you cannot avoid trying to look at the penis ridge on the speedos.

You know what I mean? Yeah, sure. I can't look away from it. It somehow feels less gay trying to eyeball, trying to eyeball where that what's going on with the weiner situation. Looking at the whole guy. Yeah, then looking at the guy who's like,

doing these fucking elaborate, like every finger crook is a different muscle. I know. And there's more intimacy that I know these men's bodies more intimately than any woman I've ever had sex with, the way they're flexing and posing. Well, right? I'm like, I can't look at, and then if you look at their face,

you think that's, oh, that'll be safe. They're looking at you with this smile that like you're, that I think you're being raped. Well,'re like there's this intense smile, there's Rick this skeletal grin with veins popping out all over their heads like, oh, good job. I think that's the face that I think that's the face I make when I'm not. I don't want to see it looking and it's, you're there. So, you know, the TV, the TV makes it much safer than it is in person. In person, it's like this is, this is the wrestling makes it safe too

because it's very funny and they're doing thing. But this is just a, this is just a raw, masculine, a pile of meat flexing and smiling at me and this, with this insane this insane look in their eyes. How long was it? I think it was about 30 hours long of these men coming out, this endless progression of men, and the biggest fucking joke, I think,

oh, this is gonna be, it's gonna be the hottest chicks I've ever seen a female bodybuilders or bikini contest. bikini contest, but Sean, it was, fuck, I mean, I don't want to malign anyone unfairly, but it was like one after the other of, oh, this is a mom, a single mom who's just doing this to get back and prove to the world that she can like, no, come on, this is an empowerment fucking. This is, I thought I was coming to ogle women, not be subject to their empowerment, you know? The opposite.

Was the opposite. I was glad when the penises came out. Yeah. Like, alright, this I can jerk off to. This. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And then at least I would have the dominance over the men bodybuilders. I was like, ah, if you're in a G string, I know you're uncomfortable, right? Right? Because that's the only reason we're not all in bodybuilding contests. Yeah. If it wasn't because of the penis ridge visibility, all of us would just do it all weekend because that's all we want to do. Even if we don't work out, it would just be two dudes.

Like if we were built like kendals, imagine if men, you and I had no penis or testicles whatsoever, we would just be wearing speedos all the time, flexing and hanging out, like two bros. Yeah, two dudes, right? Exactly. But because you got that penis situation, we got to wear all these clothes. We can't do that. We've got to occupy ourselves with video games and music and pointless conversation and politics Ridiculous and ridiculous thought experiments instead of just living the dream of flexing Right? That's all we even if you're that you could be the fastest fucking the world you could still get a good flex on, right? That's all we, even if you're that you could be the fastest fuck in the world, you could still get a good flex on, right?

You could still activate those beers. Passing each other beers, except for the penis situation. So then they got another kind of division where these motherfuckers come out wearing board shorts at a bodybuilding competition. So now I think I'm just, am I just at the beach checking out man, this isn't a body poster competition. So now I think, am I just at the beach checking out, man, this isn't a bodybuilding. This isn't a bodybuilding, just public.

Yeah. Now I'm just looking at a bunch of bros, flexing, wearing boards, where's the, I look for the penis, right away I need to assert dominance. I know more about you because I can tell more about your penis than you can tell about mine. That's man 101. Yeah, you're right.

We're always gunning to try to look at each other's penises. So then we have power over each other, like spirits, like Shinigamis. We know. If I know what your penis looks like, I have more power over you. Yeah. Board shorts. A complete canvas. Might as well be a black bar.

Might as well be digitally obscured, like blurry bigfoot where these guys dicks are Yeah, completely complete obscurity Groyal I don't know why that was funny but there was relations are really into bodybuilding. Wow look at Randy Hollywood Randy's fucking built Yeah, yeah, have you ever seen him naked? I Can't say I have. Me either, but he's just saying. He is built.

All right, he is built. He's got to go easy. Oh, so that was my... Never noticed that about him. I really, I wanted to do my own bodybuilding. I wanted to have a butter face contest for the bodybuilding show. Yeah. Cause the best, the best parts are how extremely ripped a guy can be and then you look up at his

head and it's like, oh my god, it's sloth from the goonies. Yeah. Yeah. Like that guy deserves a trophy more than the guy that looks like an adonis. For walking out the front door. Yeah. Yeah. Give this fucking guy. Give him guys made it 30 years looking like that. Yeah. Yeah. Give this fucking guy. Give those guys made it 30 years looking like that. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, I'm just saying they should have had some booby prizes. Yeah. With the event. Right. Like everything, it would have been better if I'd run it. Best penis rid. It would have been funny. Most, most, most, most confusing penis package in the speedo. Yeah. about payments is too much

And then it was it was one female empowerment story after another these broads he's broads coming out that it's like okay I mean what what are we this is like Like okay, you're kind of you're hanging in there Good kind of good good for you. I hope you can keep the momentum going. One girl walks out and the announcer says that she's a Holocaust survivor. Oh my God. Cambodian Holocaust survivor. I'm like, this is wildly,

and this is not what I signed up for. I signed up for jerk off material in my head, and I am not getting that. I'm getting jock jams and female empowerment, and I am fucking pissed. I'm fucking pissed about that. Cambodian Holocaust. Who was that?

Was that Pol Pot? Who did that? Well, that, he killed a lot of people, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I don't know. Somebody, that wasn't Louse, I think it was Cambodia. I don't know, whatever.

She's a Holocaust survivor. Anyway, no boners for you. I think it was Cambodia. I don't know whatever. She's a Holocaust survivor. Anyway, no boners for you. And the announcer for, and it was the one that I could work some, let's some leather up to. This little Asian bitch coming out with this fluttery hair that reminded me of my ex-girlfriend who I would like to hate fuck. You know, she comes out there sloshing around.

I'm like, all right, all right, I can get some, I can get something going here. And then the announcer comes in, she a holocaust survivor. What the fuck Was that the part Why why was that written of course what I think holocaust I think world war two so I'm thinking how much surgery did she have Yeah, she's got so much surgery. She went Asian. Yeah, Yeah. So now I'm thinking of Maxwell Kimball all of a sudden. No, no, no. Talking about Holocaust.

There you go. Um, then he walks out in a G-string. Yeah, you know, you gotta, well, I don't know. Bored short, bodybuilding contest. Anybody could do bodybuilding in board shorts. Yeah. Who gives a fuck? No fear.

I don't even need to work out to do that contest. Yeah, fucking pound pop this. Bam. Besides like that, the hard car bodybuilders all have those fucking huge guts from so much HGH and shit. They're all distanced about like the strong man contest. No, just the, no, like the,

you haven't seen bodybuilders with that enormous blood and guts. Because they're fucking organs grow and shit, it's human growth hormones. So all your shit keeps growing. Oh, what's that? This show's natural. Oh, yeah, no, I was gonna really tell.

Well, I said that I'm massively fake tits that every single woman, they draw the line there. Yeah. That's why they, that's why wrestlers have such huge guts. What's that? I mean, wrestling, we're talking specifically, like bodybuilders show at the worst, like the, because it's just full, it's the full drug Olympics.

Like, yeah, yeah, like, you can only look like that one way. You know what else makes me rage? In addition to the being sick, I also looked into seasonal effective disorder. Oh, yeah, or sad. You know what? And that, and that's what made me rage about it. Yeah. I looked into like seasonal depression. Yeah. And it was seasonal affect. Give me a fucking break

with this shit. That's always where they come up with the act. I'm trusting you people with my suicide. They come up. They're making silly acronyms out of every. Well, they did. I think I was 100 go fuck yourself. If I'm gonna kill myself, I'm not calling somebody making up fake fucking acronyms. They come up with the acronym and then tell you what it means. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, I mean, it's like, oh, well, let's see if we can, let's see if we can do something easy to remember and marketable. Winter seasonal depression, SD. No, can we cram an A in there? I don't know, seasonal affect disorder. Sad. Yeah, go on. Well, that made me, I shut the browser. I can't, I can't fucking

take this. I can't fucking, how do you take your, how do you people take yourself seriously with it yet? If it's an important thing, you won't need an acronym to remember it necessarily. Everyone wants to be AIDS. That's why they think the success of AIDS is because it's so fun to say. It's AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, right? Sad.

That's not fun to say. No. STDs. No, come on. Yeah. What are you? A motor oil, right? Right, right. Right. STDs. No, come on. Yeah, I'm so you a motor oil right right right. Yeah. STDs. Yeah. The HIV AIDS. That's fun to say. Oh yeah. That'll get some big play on TV.

I'm feeling depressed most of the day, nearly every day, losing interest and act to having low energy. Yeah. These are the things having a huge penis. That's definitely, that definitely happens to me during winter. Problems sleeping, feeling sluggish. That's all, those are all just classic depression symptoms. Yeah, over sleeping. I really hate the fucking winter. I think sick all winter, all fucking winter.

I love it. Cold weather. Or cool, at least tolerable weather. I got sick all night. I got sick all winter. Yeah, all fucking winter. I love it cold weather or cool at least tolerable weather I got classical shooting up my ass. Yeah, all winter. You can't can you run that thing for a little while or will it shoot out of the Fucking it'll shoot across the room. Yeah, that's what as it might then and In the bunker toilet in Soviet Russia toilet pisses on you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha change these so they're offensive. All these definitions. Right? Yeah. Believe me Sean. Believe me like I'm a woman.

I believe you. See it would have been so much funnier. Believe all women. Oh yeah, have you seen how many women believe they should be wearing a crop top who shouldn't be? Yeah. Gonna believe that. Yeah.

But many of the judgments. Yeah. Okay. Go. Yeah, go ahead, go ahead. Go tell them they're right. Crop rating evidence that you look good in that zero. Yeah. That's funnier. That is funnier.

I also looked up the number of people who believe they can talk with the dead. That's 30%. No, that stuff is always really depressing. Like people who like believe that angels are following them around. They're dead family members. Yeah. 30 fucking present.

Okay. Yeah. Clearly everything's working up there. Yeah. Oh, great. Okay. Oh, Owen said he's ready when... Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's always, that always bums me out when I go, oh, you're like a dog.

You know, every time I think you're real smart, you step in your own piss. Yeah, you know. You know, I also, I was in such a bad mood last week. That's why. You were? That's why the episode went like that Oh, because we had just raised all that money for charity. Oh, that's right You know, there's like before 26,000 dollars and I'm thinking well the cancer kids are set

But how about something for the effort? Yeah, right? I just see money flying out the window. Yeah, that's my you know part of that You know, where's the, you're right? Well, on your deathbed, you'll receive total consciousness. How about a little scrape off the top? She got that going for you, which is nice. Okay, I know I added them. About three people got that reference. No, Sean, no, no, no, no, no.

Everyone got that reference. Hello. Oh, yeah, Mr. Owen Benjamin, how are you? Good, how are you? Good, buddy, I didn't know you were gonna be in front of your keys like that. Let me queue up a little window so people can see you. Oh, there he is. Hey, how are you?

Hey, good. There we go, there we go. This is, I am Dick Masterson and this is Sean, my audio engineer here who you're speaking with What you guys thanks for calling in man of course. Thanks for having me. I'm pumped Everybody this is zone Benjamin very funny guy We were just talking about believing all women Which I only bring up because I loved your recent video about it. Ah

Which one I've been I've been telling that to people for years. The one where the guys are crying when they say they've been believing all the way for three years. They were already crying. It's time to believe all women. Yeah. My first joke that almost got me banned from Patreon was,

I said, this is a while ago, and then someone stole this joke and it went viral, and so then Patreon backed off because they're their cowards but uh... it was the joke was uh... the me two movement always confused me because i'm thirty eight and in my world that's not a hashtag that's a pound sign so people were saying pound me to over and over again. You came up with that? That was mine that was a thing of that as soon as it came out, as soon as it started happening, yeah, that was a panickingly, I didn't come up with,

well, it was around a fire with a bunch of dudes that I do tree work with. I was the first person in entertainment that came up with it. Okay. I was riffing with my other buddy, who, and we kind of came up with it, but he just, he cuts down trees for a living.

So, but I came up with it before it became that meme. Do you have like, I- That's gonna be the worst as a comedian when someone else gets tons of play off your joke? No, shit. But there's two types of jokes though. Like culture war jokes like that,

I'm fine with people taking because it's, it's wins for the good guys. It takes the heat off you. But like a personal joke about my family or life that's me, that's artistic, I have an artistic problem with that. But if there's like a meme I make or a joke making fun of the Me Too movement, steal away because this is a culture war

and I want to give my guys as many bullets as possible. I feel the same way. I came up with the call 1-800-Dominos for suicide prevention hotlines. Instead of giving the hotline, you just give the 1-800-Dominos line because it's like, why is, have you ever called a suicide prevention hotline? I kind of doubt it. So, it's like calling the cops if you have any, that's not, that's not going to fix all of anybody's problem.

I love seeing it. A whole set up though. If somebody goes around talking, telling stories about having altercations with fat women, then I have a problem with it, right? Here's, here could be a tag for that bit too. Be like, uh, if you're, if you're suicidal, the only person I can guarantee you that's more suicidal is someone answering it as suicide. Yeah. And just, you know, that's probably not good for you to meet. Yeah.

Yeah. You probably got a lot of money. Why are you sad? Don't do it. It's like, but you sound sad too. And then you should go. But if you call dominoes, you're fired up though. There needs to be like a yacht party line.

If you're feeling like, if you're really like, you're going to kill you, you can be here. A 1-800-chad yacht line. Yeah. And let's get in on the jack. They pump jack jams through the line. That's a bunch of chicks giggling and screaming. Dantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantant As a tough man on the other side, what's up? Oh no, my strategy with that is probably not very effective, but I'm just like, don't do it, it's cowardly. Like I just yell at people.

It's shame I'm into not doing it. I literally do. I just go straight Korean mom on that. Yeah, don't do it. If you do it your week, and then they're like, oh, now I'm just more scared of you than sad. I'll come after you. If I'm going to come after you from beyond the grave, if you do it to double punish you.

I'm going to kill myself. I'm going to kill myself. I'm going to kill myself. That's what Koreans do. They hold grudges for like three generations. That's a fact. That's why I referenced Koreans in that, like what I was just saying, like they, like when you die, you don't get peace.

Well, any, if you're in any kind of Korean organized crime, you know, if you kill yourself or get out of it, whatever, it doesn't matter. It just goes right down the fucking family. Oh, it goes to next time. Exactly, man. Exactly. It's called incentives. I see you got your piano in front of us.

I myself am a huge pianist as well. Maybe not as big as you. Well, you might be better at piano, but odds are that you're not taller than me. How tall are you? Six, seven. Are you serious? Yeah, what are you? God damn it.

I'm six feet tall, but every single person associated with the show is taller than me. So every time there's a picture, I look like a fucking manlit. Huh, like. No, but that's good for that. There are a bunch of tall people around the show.

That says a lot for your character though. It means you're willing to hang out with, you know, greater men. Yeah. I'm developing a Napoleon syndrome, just being on the six foot, it's six foot that six foot. The best how you can be here. Maybe six two, six feet is taller than average. Yeah. Well, you're like a tall guy, but you don't have any like the health risks or like the, uh, the, the hitting your head on stuff for the alienation. You know, cops treat you like a five foot 10 black guy when you're six seven and white. Because they're jealous. Well, they, they're just, it's just that threat assessment where they're like giant, chewed them, you know. Yeah. Plus your feet don't hang off of everything at six.

Every time women complain about like the patriarchy, I think, you know, if you guys don't realize how lucky you have it that you could sit on a couch comfortably or that your knees don't constantly bang into shit. Try to fall. And everyone thinks I'm an alcoholic because of my size, it takes me, like I can drink six beers and not piss myself. Because I, you know, I'm just like,

I can drink because I'm just a giant. I think it's time to bring in some, some sharia law, I think. I think that'll strengthen everybody out. There's gonna comments on that. I recently saw that you admitted you were wrong about Islam. I too have found the teach, some of the teachings of Islam to be more than what I thought they were at first.

Oh, yeah. I mean, listen, Mohammed pedophile in a flying horse, not on board, but a lot of other stuff I'm way on board with, like the whole, you need four witnesses to corroborate your story. Yeah. Or you get stone to death. Yeah. And I think with the Kavanaugh here, and I think a little, a little my sharia would for witnesses to corroborate your story or you get stoned to death. Yeah.

And I think with the Kavanaugh here, and I think I, a little, a little My Sharia would have helped. Yeah. My Sharia. My Sharia. Didn't edit it. Didn't edit my Sharia. Do you play that one? I love playing a piano because you can get away

with saying pretty much anything while you're on it. Like people want to hear it so bad, and I'm like, how, this motherfucker. Yeah. It's like wizardry. Yeah. I love ruining it for them. Cause as soon as somebody sits down on an instrument, everybody wants to be a DJ.

It's like, bitch, I'm not here to entertain you. I'm here to entertain me. What kind of music you play? Mostly shitty 70s covers. I used to play a lot of Ben Folds. Oh, I love Ben Folds. Yeah. Okay, it's cool. I try to play a lot of Ben folds. Oh, I love Ben folds. Yeah. Okay. It's cool.

I try to do like 80s disco songs because they sound so stupid and goofy when you play them on a piano. So when did you get your coke problem? Yeah. Right. I mean, it's not a, this is sober October. Oh. Disco, disco sounds really terrible if you're not on a stimulant.

Yeah, you're right. What do you like playing? Oh, I think what you just, you know, classic rock stuff, some, some classical like Beethoven, I like a lot. Sometimes like covers this stuff that don't get covered a lot like I like playing yellow lead better just because it just sounded cool. Pearl Jam, what's yellow lead better? Pearl Jam.

Yeah. Yeah, like just stuff. It's a real Hendrix-y guitar intro. It's very, yeah. Right? Yeah, so you got away with not saying any English words and being emotional. I always found it fascinating.

Because you just didn't say anything and no one cared. And, including myself, I found it an emotional song. And then when someone asked me what it was about, I had no idea. It was just a gutterall, just whalings of a madman. Yeah, no idea. I have no idea what the fucking lyrics are to that song. I obsessed about it and then I looked up the lyrics and it didn't even sound like what he was doing.

Yeah. Oh, there's actual lyrics to that song. I was like, hey, you're always on. Yeah, it's like unsealed on a porch, a letter sat, and you said, I want to leave it again, but what you hear is, oh, sir, l'er, on a porch, how leho, it's like, there's not even close. That's about what you hear. I think they know that their lyrics are stupid, right?

I think they do it to almost show their power. It's almost like this recent Jordan Peterson tweet about like the Kavanaugh should step down. Oh God, I lost my fucking mind when I read that. They do, but there was the end of the funny on the show. And it's like, I was a huge Peterson fan and I'm still a fan of many of the things that he said, but I was like, no. And then you saw, but you saw all the Peterson bots unable to handle it, whether you like.

Mr. Peterson is testing us. And you're like, what? What? No, he's just a Canadian. No, he's just a Canadian. No, he's just a Canadian. No, he's just a Canadian. That's right, he's going to.

He's trying to create an archetype of the belly. Yeah. I'm like, no, he's a secret leftist idiot. And we fell for it. And where? He fucked that. It's like, well, then why don't you quit your job then? Well, that was the thing.

And some people are like, oh, he disagrees with one thing. I'm like, no, it's the thing. It's the thing that he stood for. It's the thing that drew everyone to him. As he said, you're allowed to upset people. You're allowed to speak for yourself. Like your feelings don't get to dictate my life. And it's like, well, Jordan Peterson, you know, it looks like you and your lobsters and

all your tranny comments have to bail on your whole career because some idiot is sad. Yeah. Show us on the ideology where some woman touched you, Dr. Peterson, why you doing this? And how much we backed him, I just, there was a real sense of betrayal, but, you know, I didn't take it to personally. I was just like, all right, let's just torch this idiot, move on.

I got all my yelling done about it last night. So I don't know what he said. He said that if Kavanaugh gets confirmed, he should step down. And with the idea of promoting peace and harmony among people and accused. Right, and then when he explained it, it got even worse. He tried to turn it into a thought experiment.

Yeah, and then he was like, well, it's a complicated issue. I'm like, I respected you more when you were just wrong. Now I know you're just a charlatan. Yeah. It's like, now he's just trying to get it. When people are like, well, I'm a centrist. I'm a moderate. It's like there is no centrist. Do you think an accusation is rape or no? No. There's no middle ground with that where it's like, well, it's a complicated issue. It absolutely is not. And the thing that drew

me and millions of other young middle or middle aged men to them was the fact that you could say like no there is right and wrong and I'll say what is right. The first problem with that you can go to hell. The false dichotomy of it really bugs me too where it's like well if you don't support this then women will be afraid to come forward with more accusations. Like no, I mean women are afraid to drive in the fast lane on the freeway. I think not electing a guy to the Supreme Court is not gonna help them get over a fear.

And you know what else drives me fucking crazy about it? You're old for two weeks. I've been reading about how afraid women are constantly. Like they're driving to their, they're walking to their car with their keys and their fists like they're fucking Wolverine. They're afraid at all moments of getting grow up or texted or seeing a penis somewhere.

Constant fear. They live in constant fear. Get the second, we get the second there's like a mass shooting. It's, well, why do you guys need guns? What are you so afraid of? Like, best thing you just spend two weeks telling me how afraid you are, that's why we need them. That's why.

The left is committing cultural suicide because it's like, what could you possibly imagine that would be more dangerous for a woman than be a single working woman unarmed in a city full of undocumented migrant men? That's the world they're setting up. It's like that is not safe for a woman. That's insane. And what they're complaining about is nonsense. It's satanic panic right out of the 80s.

And it's like, as someone who's very, as someone who's satanic, it's so much like I miss the days when a rape accusation was telling somebody that you got abducted by a UFO. Like, they're like, oh, yeah, we believe you. Oh, dude, and look at all the women who have actually been raped that are siding with Kavanaugh because they know that people like Christine Blossie Ford actually hurt accusations. Yeah.

It's like think of all the millions and millions of men right now. And men, I would go to prison to kill a man that raped my wife or someone close to me. Men are like that. Men are instinctively extremely protective of women. And the funny thing is, is this whole like bait up session where it's like, to be a man, you have to wear a coterize and cut off your weiner. It's like alpha, it's like alpha males hate rapists. Like if you're in like a sports team, like if you're around like alpha type males, like

hardworking, you know, beer drinking high fiveing sports playing guys. If you're a rapist, they're going to kill you. Yeah. It's like, it's like, that's true. It's in prison too. Yeah. The alpha men were the one running Lynch squads against criminals like back when accusations were enough to send somebody to the other side. It was the guys, the guys running the actual judge jury executioner Lynch mob were the alpha males. They're the ones dispensing justice the best they can. You know what I mean? And they don't do it.

And they don't do it well. And that's why I want to do process because alpha males are like, I'll rip your throat out if you hurt Diane. Well, it's like, okay, slow down. We need evidence, corroboration. That's why it's so funny because I see both extremes as a problem. Like if some, that's why I like the rule of law and do process because it eliminates that emotional mob response that alpha males get wrong, the hysterical

women get wrong. Like we're not great at issuing out justice on the fly when someone's doing a rape accusation. So that's why you take your time, you corroborate, you investigate, you have witnesses. And Kavanaugh wasn't so ridiculously investigated, even before this happened. And this woman's a liar. She's a proven liar. It was, she didn't know the year. She said the reason that she's, her two fingers are provably wrong. Yeah.

So that's scared to confine places. She's not scared of flying. She's alive. The four people she said that were at the party all said they weren't. I know. As soon as you get into that, you're making a, you're making a, you're like calling all women into question because it's so, it's so common. What she's like, as soon as you start attacking her,

I guess I realize this, thinking about it all week is we just can't. Like we only, we can only say the law has to be this way because it works and that's it. And that's it. And just like every other principle that our society's built on, we have to hold it.

It has to be, we have to represent it in all forms. Like in social courts, in the actual legal system, like we all have to collectively believe this or it doesn't work. We have to be consistent. Exactly. And I would have been the same exact way if it went the other direction. And a bunch of Republicans were accusing some Democrat of rape with no accusations. The other direction, it's always the opposite.

You know, Ted Kennedy led a woman drowned into death because he was shit-based. Bill Quentin went to a pedophile island 29 times, and there's school buses filled with. What's pedophile island? Wait, wait, what's, Sean doesn't know what pedophile island is. It was this, Jeremy. Epstein, yeah, Epstein had an island. He went to jail for a sex trafficking, but the island, you know, Alita Express, it was known for having underage women that powerful men would have sex with the women. And he only had to do six months or eight months in jail. Wow.

When he was caught with a container of 40 women. Somebody that he could favor, so much. Yeah, and Bill Clinton would go without his secret service. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's it's it's saying. I mean, the guy. There's no no clots. I mean, the broadrick will show you where he almost bitter lip off. You know, he he put a cigar in a woman's vagina in the oval office. And he's waiting to go like how many beers were you high on beer when you were 17? It's like Barack Obama did blow with the domestic terrorist. He said it.

Yeah, it's like, yeah, I'm not so good. I mean, I don't think Obama should have been allowed to do blow with the domestic terrorist in college, but I was fine with him being born in Kenya. Fuck it. You won. I don't give a shit. I didn't get to light a bend at this point. I know they were idiots for saying that, but at this point, it's getting so weird.

Like how many, like psychotic accusations are now cut. Like I thought Trump was insane for saying there was a deep state after him and there's me too. Me fucking too. I thought there is. There totally is. There is. Yeah.

Wait, I got to, I got to get us off politics because there's, it's Tuesday morning for a lot of people and they listen to it and they're going to fucking kill me if gotta get us off politics, because it's Tuesday morning for a lot of people and they listen to it and they're gonna fucking kill me if they run their way. Yeah, I'm rolling their way. Let these cowards hear something. You can have a different opinion. You know that what we're saying isn't bullshit.

I think they have the same opinion. Yeah, it's just saying to the show have the same opinion. They find it tedious. Yeah, because they gotta go to work. These guys have to go to work. They're trying to escape. And they have to, they have to, everyone who deals with the show in their life

has to be a psychopath at work and with their family and with their wives' friends to maintain their quality of life. Yes. You've got to listen all day to, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and you just sit there going, yeah, well, that's, I guess that, yeah, sure,

you guys, have you been hearing this news this morning? Mm-hmm, it's the nod, it's that male psychopath nod that we all developed by the time we're 30, like, yes, we do. So here, so hear me out boys, they need that cathartic male voice that we're currently giving them. Oh yeah, I agree.

I agree. Anyway, we can talk about some mouse. I could, I could say that stuff too, but, we're right out just, I was kind of interesting. It is interesting. It's endlessly interesting. I love your bit on where you said that comedy is a way to deliver hard and harsh truths to people

in a palatable way. And your example was somebody that's bad breath. I think the joke you said was, let's see which one of us could eat a thousand tic-tacs first. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, let's have a tooth brushing party. Yeah, let's have a tooth-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc-toc- I saw the Peterson thing happening like eight months ago and I made this video. I don't know if you've seen it where it's me calling Peterson. It just keeps redefining words and it's clearly just funny. I'll start with teasing and satire.

And then if people just keep going, it'll be like a little darker teasing and satire. And then it's like, fuck this guy, you know, because it's like the way that you can give someone a tough truth is art or comedy, where you can use the fun in versus hyperbole irony all these fun tools, where you can laugh. My favorite thing is couples comedy, where it's about men and women. And that's the only thing that got me into politics is my whole comedy was always men and women stuff, like, and the basic premise of our differences being funny. And when the left says there is no difference between men and women and some people are unicorns, I was like, okay, now I have to beat them or I can't even do my job anymore. Yeah. Look, so at some point the word different

became equated with bad. Yeah. And it's not, it's not the case. Yeah. Fundamentals. Also just a lie. And so it's just like a lie. It's like women can't throw a baseball as fast as men. It's also like no. Next is him is also the only is him that isn't cured by more exposure to who you're pissed off. That's interesting. Exactly. Exactly. That's interesting. That's interesting. The grace is him is silly, but sexism, it's not, theism makes it sound bad, but men and women are different. Like people in black people aren't inherently different, but men and women are everything about the way

our brains are structured. And it's like, I want to go to like some of these idiots and be like, are you a science denier? Because these cats can show that when a woman orgasms, her brain lights up like Christmas, and a man is just his addiction center. And she shits out an invoice. Right, right.

There's like, there's no American history ex. That's where the men and women. That's where the pelvis is a different shape. Yeah, that's why their pelvis is wider. They're shitting out all these invoices. They can hold an entire ream of paper for invoices. They don't send Edward Norton to a prison where he meets like a woman and then they get along and he's like, oh yeah, I guess there's not so much different.

He gets out of that prison going man fucker. Yeah, yeah. He's like, man, I was kind of sexist, but now I hate him now. I don't know if you knew this, but I wrote a book until like 10 years ago called Menor Better Than Women based on the same kind of premise that there's using satire and comedy to make some harsh truths palatable for people. I love it. Yeah, I totally agree.

I'm going to read it. I'll send you one. I think it's, I mean, looking back at it now, it's almost quaint and childish, like the time it was written in Because there was a near like it was more like if you watch like an old episode of married with children Yeah, how the sexism is like oh, that's cute and crying now. It's so vicious and violent right? Yeah Like Nick DePaul was telling me he watches old leave it to beaver now Yeah, like he's he doesn't go away back like Nick DePaul is is like I just want to leave it to Bieber because I'm like this is great Because it's everything in our media now. It's just what you're saying. It's like like

parody and sad tire becomes reality in about two days now, you know like we're like we'll be working on a sketch and And almost by the time we shoot it CNN's reporting it is real Yeah, as someone actually doing it for real. God dammit. Yeah. Put this away. Did you hear about speaking of like satire to make your point? Did you, are you up on the, that academic scam

that just happened where three academics have been writing? Yeah, amazing. Go on, it's great. They've been writing bogus papers and submitting them to diversity studies, feminist journals, they call it grievance studies, like they've been writing about over like three, three left-leaning actual professors wrote a, they wrote a paper on how dogs humping at the park are evidence of rape culture. And they took my, so funny. They took mine comp and they replaced all the shit about Jews with stuff

about men. And they ran, like all they got published over and over and over. And they run, it would be praised. Yeah. People were like, oh, these are our allies. These are the, these are like high level academic approval gatekeeper doors were flying open. And it's like, but to see, this is the thing though, is the idiots, the idiots that they just expose don't care. They're just power hungry, nihilists. They don't care and they want them to apologize. It's like, are you guys, what are you standing in university that you don't understand what

they did here? They're not playing by the rules. Okay, like dudes like us are like, okay, you play basketball, and like we'll be arguing about a rule. You know, it was your foot on the line. Leftist will be like, why the hammer? And I'm gonna beat your head with a hammer, and then I'm gonna win the game.

And it's like, what? That's how they are. Like when you reveal how idiotic they are, they literally will just shift and be like, well, then you just did the patriarchy. And it's like, you just read Mon Comf, like it's real. And they're like, you are white. I mean, that's why this whole Trump thing is awesome.

And I didn't vote this last time because I thought it was just two weapons, two instruments that were capable of beating me to death, so I tapped out, but now I'm all about, I think Trump's crushing. Yeah, I agree with you. Stock market agrees with you too. Another paper. Deescalation of North Korea, you know, are we no longer energy dependent on the Middle East?

Like all these things that aren't even being reported because everyone's like, did Kavanaugh throw ice or no? It's like Bill Clinton raped like 100 chicks. Well, like the entire country is in massive amounts of debt as has the worst democratic representation in Congress and the entire world. The ratio of the population, affordable, they coined the term affordable mortgage to mean you're in debt, you're in wage slavery for the rest of your life of 45 year mortgages. All the banks got bailed out, rode off the amount they lost, and then rode off the additional amount that they would have lost in sales that didn't happen while they reaped in cash.

And what, what is the problem? A guy throwing ice. Are you fucking kidding me? And dude is going into a women's bathroom for like one week until I realized that he wanted to just be, he was a socialist. Like, because what you just said, like this banking shit is crazy. And when I heard Bernie Sanders be like, the banks need to fucking like, you know, fuck these guys. And I'm like, yeah, this Vermont Jew gets it. And then, like a week later, I'm like, oh, wait a minute, he wants to own the banks.

Like he's a socialist and I was like, oh, this guy is really, really bad. But exactly what you just said, it's this money extraction scheme. Because it's like, it's this combination in between the government and the free market becomes this crony capitalism, which is extra bad because they have, because it's no and the free market becomes this crony capitalism, which is extra bad because they have, because it's no longer the free market. You have, oh no. I'm going to quote a quote, a business with fucking aircraft carriers. That's not exactly supply and demand.

No, it is, it's a time extraction scheme straight from getting everybody into college and making the price of college loans free such that you have to pay them off forever straight into 45 years. Maybe we'll see 60-year mortgages. I mean, I guess we have like infinitely adjustable arms that never end, that always you just re-fi every five years until you're fucking dead. The Jews! When did you start playing the keys, man? I was like two.

Were you really? Dude, 12 years of slave was about student debt. Boboom. Come on, that's a good joke. 12 years of slave. I'm laughing. You guys got rattled by my funny juthing. I do a caretaker.

No, no, no, no. We don't care. You've got to do calls in regularly. Because I do a sketch called Shylock Holmes where he's like the world's greatest. That's funny. He's the world's greatest detective, except he always thinks it's the Jews. Yeah. And his teddy bear is Teddy Watson. And he's like the Jews.

He's like, you know, he's like aluminum, I do Watson. And it's like, it's straight out of like, it's a funny parody. And it's funny, like a bunch of normal Jews, the good ones, Watson. I think it's hysterical. Like all of his railies write me all the time. It's hysterical.

And then you have like these psychopath, banker, atheist, weasels being like, this is anti-Semitism. I'm like, no, it's not. I'm making fun of conspiracy theories. You fuck. All right, sorry. Go ahead. Shilok homes. That's fucking great. That is funny. What's he saying? It's always the Roth child's. What is he so on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's always everything. And it's because he lost all his money to Bernie

made off. Like the one time he didn't see it coming. That's why he now thinks that they like control the weather and shit. Yeah. Yeah. So every time I go to pay off my debts, it rains. You know, dude, you, this is got to have some serious repercussions for your comedy career. Yeah. All this, all these, all these for getting banned from Twitter. We're talking about David Hogg's pubes. All this, uh, right. Yeah. I mean, the pubes, all this. Shhh. Right. Yeah, but I mean, the pubes thing,

you know the story behind that, right? Yeah. Yeah, I do. Well, I said that if you don't have pubes, if you're not old enough to have pubes, you can't tell grown men not to have guns. It's, I could have said chest hair but I didn't want to alienate the Asian men.

So, I'm close to that. And then, then people said that I was talking about a child's pubes. Like, it was that disingenuous. And I was like, fine. And so, no, my career has gotten better. It's like, I went back to tree work for a few months with my brother.

And I still do it with him, because I realized how good it is. You know, it got one of my buddies off heroin. We called it tree hab. Where you just cut down trees all day. And you just, you know, I was making 20 bucks an hour Well, I'm painted on the Hollywood improv like I'm really painted on the wall and you make it 20 bucks an hour cut Now I'm curious. Yeah, after I came out against trans children hormone blockers and lost my agent all that but Then now I'm fine again because you don't need these people. It's like it's it's it's literally almost like a biblical

Thing where it's like the devil and the desert, you know, they don't really have any power. They don't have any money either. That's what I've noticed. Like they don't buy shit. They can't, you have no actual, you have no actual comedy fans. It's pumped in from, from DC. Hollywood, I once got paid like a half a million dollars from Sony for like a web deal in like 2006 and it's like granted I spent because if you honor and money just you just spend it. It's really not very good for you. But like they have all this money in Hollywood and all comes from DC. It's a propaganda arm of the status. It's a fact. You know, there's a reason that you can make $200,000

a week on a sitcom in LA. And like, where do you do a college? I once did a college where I got $20,000 and there were six people there. It's like, that isn't market, that's socialism, that's nonsense. And it's like, it's just... Why do they pay you 20 grand for a theater

for a show for six kids? Because there's no supply and demand forces whatsoever. It's literally tax money. They get funded by DC. And so it's funny. It's like I'll do videos. Like my channel right now is I can't livestream on my YouTube. By the way, huge pianist.com, I have a new special.

It just came out. So why don't you go ahead and pick that upcom, I have a new special, it just came out. So, once you go ahead and pick that up, but I can't even live stream on it. And I'll get higher, more views on like a new burner one that I just came up with, then like the young Turks and they have like two million followers. It's like, they don't have fans. It's like, there's a small amount of like, commy psychos that control, like Lenin said, all you have to do is take over the trains and the telephone wires. It's like they control information through universities, through media, through Hollywood, and then the majority of America feels the way we do.

You just want to be a hard work in person and have a family and have an honest life, drink some beers, throw some ice and call it a day And and but the perception is that they're just everywhere. You watch the Oscars Yeah, everybody's so brave and everyone's a left-handed gay midget or something and you're like You like what is this? It's not real. They're literally wizards. They're wizards doing wizard spells It used to just be I wouldn't I didn't want to watch the Oscars because of the figures. I can't stand it.

Stupid chick stuff and they just want to watch the dresses and I don't, I don't want to see a bunch of rich famous assholes getting awards. But now it's just because I'm, I'm so tired of getting called a stupid racist asshole every time I watched TV. And you know, I loved it about three or four years ago. There were no black people nominated in any category. And everybody's like, hey, but what about, and they're like, oh, Cheryl Boone, Isaacs,

like came out, you know, it was like the head of the Academy. Right, do you remember that, Owen? Bro, I've been, I've met Harvey Weinstein, like I've ended these parties. They're such it. Listen, the Academy's all white and they're so inherently racist that their image of black people is so skewed and psychotic that they'll be

like, look at this obese chick running with chicken, fried chicken. She deserves praise, right? Is this how we are, this is good, right? They're fucking insane. Like they really view black people as animals. I'm not joking. Like, because I'm against plant parenthoods,

like, you know, what they're doing, and it, because it's like one and two black conceptions gets aborted, right? I was talking to one of my, and one of my, quote unquote, liberal friends about that. And he was like, he starts with the whole women choice all that stuff and i'm like okay i argue those points and then i get to the black thing i'm like well

it doesn't even affect me in my demographic at all like upper middle class white people don't have plan parents in our neighborhoods it's only in inner cities yeah because it's a bad theory of white people and uh... and he literally just goes, yeah, but they can't help themselves. I have, man, I have never just thinking like you racist scumbag. Like you really think black people are animals

and they have to be treated like a fucking kill shelter. Like it's a ceramic glass. It's the same thing. It's kind of like the thing banning fast food restaurants in like low income, like inner cities and stuff. And it's like, No, it can't help themselves, guys. It's like you can't make fun of Islam,

like the whole Islamophobia thing is like, well, if you make fun of them, they'll go, they'll blow shit up. Like, well, I mean, that's not the kind of expectations you put on a normal thinking person. Do you think that they, right? That's like that. What do you do in this and this?

You believe all women thing? It's's like do they think women are so dumb they can't lie it's like yeah it's so fucking sexist that they're like you must believe women these simple creatures always speak the truth and they're always victims know the fuck they aren't no like

cowlands out of Maine stood up and had more balls than half of these Republican soyboys. You know, she was like, this is insane. What's happening? I'm going to vote for Kavanaugh and I was like, see women can be strong. You fucking idiots. Yeah. Speaking of women, can I make a request? Maybe. Can you, can you give us a little bit of your How to Love a Woman song? Oh, let's see if this one's not a talk. It's not a talk. It's got a piano here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hi, it's How to Love a Woman and then How to Love a Man. That's the song. All right, all right. All right, here we go. Here we go, boys. I didn't know I was jamming today, but it's where the camera set up. That's right. Everybody wants to see it.

It's a little bit of a talk. It isn't. I see it that I just want to touch it. It's like, there we go. Well, that's, that was Harvey Weinstein's to hold a fence. Well, I mean, if you ever heard the one about the fight between a man and a woman with their appropriate soundtracks, where it's like,

where it's like, hey, it's like, this is what's in a man's head from birth until death, you know, it's like, hey, baby, how is your day? And then I was like, how is my day? Well, the fact that you just asked me that means you didn't check my Facebook or my Twitter. Yeah. Well, I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, baby, I'm banned from all that stuff. I want to have sex with you so bad.

Oh, you think that's going to help me? You just want to bang me and not ask me about my day? No, I don't want to bang you. I swear, I don't at all. I just want to talk. Oh, you don't want to fuck me anymore? Now that I've had a child, we know you're, we don't even, no, no, I do. I just said that. Oh, she lied. She lied to me. What else did you lied about? What else did you lied about? Just tell me what else you lied about.

Just tell me what to say. And I'll say, you know, like when you give a soundtrack, you show the differences in how people think where it's like a very linear with problem solution reward in women and more non-linear where it's about relationships and long-term systems. It's true, buh buh buh buh buh buh. Yeah. So love it.

It's that thing men are stupid. It's just saying that men are just more linear. Like the bit begins with you could be on V, you could be like your girls like, be like, your girl's like, oh my God, weren't Hawaii, this is my dream. Why is that wave look like that? Is that a tsunami? Maybe a tsunami?

That was like, why is there a T in tsunami? To tsunami? To tsunami? You know how it's like just a different way of looking at it. And I think it comes down to hunting versus gathering where men were more skill oriented and more task oriented and rewarded and merit. Yeah. And women, you know, as the as the Soviets said, the tallest nail gets hammered down like

uh, they'll support like when one girl said they all get ice cream and bail and you know it revolves around the sadness. But when one's pretty everyone says she has herpes in the female community. Where the opposite with men, you know, we're like, if someone's a weak link, we cut them from the team, but if he's the fastest, we're like, I like him, he's great, he's fast. You know, women are like, she has herpes

because she has bigger tits than me, you know. It's very stoviet. It does them, it does them, it moves them to find problems and things, right? You got to get a good. I mean, like if you think about what women need to survive back when life was before a corn syrup and fake fiat money, they would be with each other and they would raise each other's children and they would they would put berries and just maintain the maintain

the home, which is the most important thing in the world. And men would be off trying to kill stuff. And if one started shining too bright, that was a threat to their community. That was a threat to their female group. And with men, if one could really throw a spear, he was great. He was like, we want that guy to kill those other guys and take their women and their stuff. Well, it was about hunting.

We weren't at war as much as people think. There was not that many people in the world until like not that long ago. I'm talking bronze era shit. It's about like taking down giant animals without guns. It requires teamwork and meritocracy. Whereas like hunting and gathering isn't like that. It's just about keeping your milk zombie attached to your tit happy and picking berries.

Okay. So that's on that you're asking. Do you use the, do you use the piano? You're married, right? You don't marry with kids. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever used the piano while you're arguing with, if you're ever in an argument with your wife, I can, I'm going to try that. Thanks. I'm going to get into fight with 80s. You can't possibly keep fighting every time that happens. Whenever she talks, we don't fight much now. Like we, we, we, we, we used to fight with 80s. You can't possibly keep fighting every time. That happens whenever she talks. I mean, we don't fight much now. Like we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we've been doing before, like a relationship hack that we figured out was when we started, if my voice raised, I would have to start listping. And that, like, oh, that's funny, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But I'd be like, you seriously don't understand.

And then I'm like, very quickly, you became funny. Yeah. And I committed to the rule early, you know, kind of like due process, where like, if I'm mad, I have to list. And so if I'm mad enough, I can get through the list. And if I can't get through the list, it means I wasn't that mad to begin with. And that's a good idea, right? Yeah, I would have never thought. When I get mad, I got to take my shorts and underpants off. So I walk around like Donald Duck. Yeah. It was the shirt cock. Yeah. Right. Let's see how mad

I really am. You deserve that that you deserve to be Donald Duck Thank you Do you want to hear that song still though? Oh, yeah, definitely So it goes so it's called how to love a woman dress really nice, but the same time look like you don't I haven't played this in a while here Don't try I got it Listen like a woman, but still act like a guy. Make lots of money, but still have free time in your day. Notice her hair and her shoes, but not in a gay way.

Too love a woman, to be her partner in crime, to really love a woman. You gotta be two people at the same fucking time. Give her her space, but at the same time make her feel needed. Be confident, but don't ever sound conceited. She isn't charged, but still you make the decisions. Kiss like a prince, but bang her like you just left prison. And that's how you are. A woman. This is called How to Love a Man.

Feed him and fuck him. Repeat until he's dead. That's true. That one. There you go. Thank you so much. That's because that's why so much female romance novels and stuff have the dichotomy of the two men, you know, like Twilight, you have the the the Faggy vampire and then the animal

wearable. Yeah. Because when they're when they're ovulating, they want like a demand to bang them and like be like, and then every other time they want a sense of God and not murder them and be a good role model for their kids. And they don't actually want two men. They just want you to be both. And it all depends on their progesterone estrogen levels.

And yeah, I figured it out and I've been a lot happier ever since and I have a wonderful and beautiful family. That's good advice. I love the romance novel culture, like the subculture. I went, you know, because they get very specific. They have graded levels of eroticism in each one. And then they all, they have like, it's, they have as much attention, they pay as much attention to their romance subculture as we pay to our porn. Like, if you go to the,

it's like, it'll be money themed and it'll just, it'll be an entire book run on just romance novels featuring like aristocracy or money related thing or just fireman. A whole series on fireman. They'll read over and over. So it's all thanks to all of your over and over and over. Yeah. It's all extremely fetishized romance.

Wow. What's going on? There's stuff going on in their mind that we'll never know. All right. Well, there's a great book out. Just real quick. This great book out called Billion Little Secrets, and it's all about that.

It's all about what women and men look at to basically aroused themselves, and it's fascinating. They analyzed like billions of Google searches and like where people were in demographics and what women look at and what men look at. Women are very much more into reading it and what archetypes they go for. And then our psych are psychopas that are tameable by one woman is a lot of times the theme for them. I think it's going to get some sort of a little murder.

I think it's going to get some sort of murder. The beauty and the beast, they want the beast to be able to bend to one woman, but to everyone else, he's literally a, a, a murderer. Yeah. And I always thought that was interesting. Who kept her imprisoned by threatening to kill her father? Like, and they love that part. I love it. They, a lot of them secretly want their man to murder their father.

Yeah. And they also want to be, um, that's a true ass statement. No, it's true. It's very true ass statement. No, it's true. It's very, very intense. And what they found about men is they like a .7 hip to waist ratio. Because that's the highest percentage that they will survive childbirth. That's why instinctively, it's not about how a woman is.

It's the ratio of their hips to their waist. If it's the right ratio in all cultures, whether or not people, I heard that 10 years ago, that's very interesting. That's the way it is. Very interesting. That's the way it is, Alan. I'm just like crazy smart. So I get bored and just have to learn things. That's a piano. That's why he's got the piano there.

That's like the way it's wearing glasses. Yeah. I mean, I don't know what it is. I'm a quarter Jew, so I think I got a little that going. I got a little that going in. Yeah, yeah. Well, shit, man, I always ask everybody who comes on what makes them a rage, but I think you've been talking about that for the last hour. If you got anything else that makes you rage, you don't really pisses you off for anything.

What pisses me off? Yeah. What pisses me off is something I mad at myself about because right before I did this I was building a chicken coop and I was digging the holes. And when I forget to wear gloves, and then I have blisters and I know it's my own fault. And then I don't want to shake anyone's hand and they think I'm a dick, but it's really because I didn't protect myself. No, my dad chewed me out constantly with, I was like, my dad was going to get away with it for a little while. And I, he, that is, like, that is one of the things that he instilled

in me as an adult, always put on the fucking gloves. I was building stairs in my backyard two weeks ago, putting in a couple of retaining walls. And my girlfriend tried to get away with not using gloves because to avoid spending the whatever five minutes or 10 minutes to going going in a search for gloves in the garage. And I threw a big fit about it like absolutely must wear the gloves at all time. Don't man explain her. Let her get the blisters. No, because those go on my cock. I don't want. I don't want. Well, then I guess you'll have to use other parts of

her body. Yeah. Those have blisters on those. Yeah, you're absolutely right about that. Are you Titser and Asmin? As for sure. Yeah. You want to get Titser for babies. Yeah. You want to get a tip for babies. Okay. All right. It's true. It's like aggressive for babies. Like now, like I have two children under three right now. And it's like you see the point of tits. It's not for grown men. Grown men like, you know, hip to waist ratio and to marry a good person is fucking good. Tits, tits are for babies. Shitting out. Oh, man. That's bullshitting. Throw out of it. Throw out of that shit. Get your feet. All right.

Oh, and thank you for, thank you for calling in. Start looking at gracious. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Like ratio. Ado and comedy on Twitter. I don't run it. So that's why it hasn't been kicked off, but that's where you get updates. Yeah. YouTube.com slash Owen Benjamin comedy. And then huge pianist.com for my newest special. I got four independent specials on there. So buy them and keep me going. Thank you.

Absolutely. Thanks, mate. You got any, any, you got any celebs that you really hate out there right now? Well, they've all been punished. The wine stains. But everybody from like a year ago that I used to bitch about. It's all, it's all good now. It's so funny. It's like shitting people. I'll get the reckoning. Yeah. That's true. Like I, I always, I talked shit about Harvey Weinstein, you know, he's always a piece of shit. As he's answering, he always started with a piece of shit. So he got a little that claw payback. Uh, I think most celebrities are total garbage. I like Chris Brad. I think he's a cool dude.

But most of these people don't represent my, me or my community, or like anything about my life at all. They're just these spoiled rotten, drug-addled, fucking nonsense machines. And I don't look up to him at all. I just want to see most of him burn. Yeah, me too. Yeah, I mean, name one celebrity that's cool, but

besides like Chris Pratt's cool. Well, there's a couple, you know, like Brian Regan, Norm McDonald, I love Brian Regan. You know, like, but I don't consider them celebrities. They're like famous comedians. When I'm talking about like celebrities, they're all shit. They're all shit. Like that Spider-Man guy or Thor, fuck all those guys.

They're a bunch of hypocrites, man. I knew a couple of them and they'd be talking about stackin' chick's asses and doing blow off their fucking asses. And then the next minute, it's like, Donald Trump is literally Hitler if he doesn't sign this nonsense thing and I'm like, fuck you guy. Yeah. There's been a lot of people who exposed for being not who you think they were. Absolutely.

It's all of them. None of them are except for maybe Pratt. I used to hang with Pratt and he's cool shit. Like that guy is not, he is, you know, I don't like that he defended James Gunn, but that's not like a Peterson type betrayal. That's just like, ah, you see it different than me. But most of them are shit. I've heard nothing but good things about him from people who have worked with them.

Adam Sandler's cool. Oh, good. Oh, good. Tray Parker, Adam Sandler Vince Vaughn, those are all cool dudes. That's good. That's, I mean, that's the, I guess there's a guy you kind of got a short list of comedians. You can, there's celebrities. You can really enjoy wholeheartedly.

Like, yeah, I seem, that guy seems like a guy I can hang out with. But otherwise, it's like, yeah, you seem like a kind of a fucking lunatic. It keeps getting smaller, you know, it's like the ultra masculine Joe Rogan that I, I like as a person, but you compare his O six special with the one that just came out. It looks like he's been injecting soy into his veins. It's literally, it's insane. I'm watching this and I'm like, what in the fuck happened to Joe Rogan? And I want to look at his show.

He's become his show. What's that? It's like he's become his show. Like he's totally changed into someone who's just, it seems like he only has an opinion that a consensus has. Like he only has a consensus opinion at all. Yeah. And the little bit that I've, and the little bit that I've seen, like,

videos of like his podcast or whatever, he seems to take a lot of those people to task though. Does he? Yeah, I mean, I don't know if he used to more and maybe he's just getting older. Seems like he lost it. I've done his show three times, like I know his show really well.

Yeah. There was for years, he was a cornerstone of masculinity and reality and true to power. I'm dead serious. It's like, because right now the biggest war isn't right and left. The Neocon Republicans can become psychos just as easy as everybody. It's this odd hatred of masculinity in Western culture. And so Joe Rogan, it was like, oh no, I own a gun, fuck it. That's heresy in Hollywood.

You can't say you own a gun, you can't say you hunt. Oh my God, you hunt. Eating honey is rape, it's the rape of bees. These people are fucking insane. And so you have Rogan standing up to this, he's calling out Carlisman to see it for joke stealing. He's a hero to young men. And then when you hear the same guy just being like,

just bailing on young men's problems. So you're just like, dude, like you. And that's why it's, you got it. You don't, I'm all about not having false idols anymore because I sometimes like look up to strong men. It's like's like weird father figures and I got to stop doing that. I got to just look up to qualities and not put anything in the person because like Peterson is probably a good philosophy. It's way too hip and fashionable to shit on man.

It's really is. It's sad to say. And I'm a man with two young males as sons. And so I'm starting to take it extremely personally. And we're like, like Theo Vaughn couldn't stand up to Whitney Cummings who accused me of being a white power guy. When he was like, yeah, you know, Owen's gotten a little weird. I was texting with him two days before that about how Hollywood's insane.

Like these bitches, these men that are scared of women. I'm like, dude, listen to the Muslims, put them in a potato sack and just tell them to shut the fuck up. They took anger from us. That's what they took anger from us. You're no longer allowed to shout or go crazy or that's assault, right? If you can't, if you're black or Muslim and you're a Democrat, you think that's called Islamophobia, if you say, well, this Somalians running at me with a machete, they're like, you are being intolerant. But it's like, oh, this white guy accused of rape is upset.

That's so bad. Fuck that. And we can bitch all day about the hypocrisy, but that doesn't help. The only way to do help when people go, well, they get to say this and we don't say this. I'm like, well then just say it. Like you're only, like these aren't shackles, they're cobwebs. And that's why my career lasting is important,

not just that I can pay my bills, but like it has to be shown that you can say what you wanna say and you won't be destroyed, that this is literally a hall of mirrors to test someone's career. I agree with the same thing happened when Chick-fil-A went against gay mayors and I'm like, want to say and you won't be destroyed that this is literally a hall of mirrors to test someone's group. The same thing happened when Chick-fil-A went against gay marriage and I'm like, fuck it, we donated to a thing and business stores.

Like, yeah. Hasn't heard him, has it? Test it. Start fucking testing this thing. Stop canceling shows. You know, see if it actually does cause people like Chick-fil-A. They do. Yeah.

They're going to open a stomach box. They've made that memory. Dude, Starbucks bent the knee about that nonsense when those black guys didn't buy anything and why do you use the bathroom? Yeah. Okay, now they're spending like 10 million a year on like, you know, we heard. Oh, dude, now they have them. They have them.

Like once you bend the knee, you never get up. So don't ever do it. That's why when people like, there's too hard on Peterson, forgive and forget. It's like. No, fuck it. You forgive. You forgive when Peterson said he was up for 30 days. That's a lie. The world records 10. You forgive Peterson when he says he rewrites every sentence 30 times. You forgive Peterson when he says that universal basic income is good. You don't forgive someone who in high stakes situations goes against all their principles. That's called bending the knee. It's because he wants to wear fancy fucking

suits and hang out with Seth McFarland. I hung out with Seth McFarland and wore fancy suits. There's nothing there. He's a fucking pussy. Yeah. Yeah, he's my temperament. No, guys, it's been a blast. Thanks buddy. Thanks for bringing your keys on to listen to this and tell people that it's the big show, the dickshow.com. Awesome. Is it going on YouTube? Yeah, we'll pull it out. Give us a last rant, but with a list, please.

Yeah. I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that. I'm screaming about it. I'm screaming about it. Seriously, masculinity is in the fucking, I see I'm already laughing. I'm doing it.

You can't do it. It's not really that important. All right, thanks, Owen. Bye. Have a good one, see ya. All right, all right, very passionate man. Yes. Owen.

He has his interest. He cares what he cares. He's been in comedy a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fightin' the fight for a while. Yep. Good songs. That was fucking- Give a guy a piano, he say whatever he cares. He's been in comedy long time. Yeah. Yeah, fighting the fight for a while. Yep. Good songs. That was fun.

You give a guy a piano, you say whatever he wants. It was funny. That's it was funny. Yeah, in America, you give somebody a really posh, you know, British accent, they can say horrible things. Yeah, you know, you say, Oh, wow. That's not how interesting.

How interesting. Yeah, that's true. All right, I'm going to play this my room records song. It's terms of cervix Well, if people were pressed about politics from the last episode, they're really gonna hate this one You got the stripe ring stuck in your head I always sing it that's my inner mind a lot of blah blah blah Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Fuck you! Not gonna listen to this shit the rest of the day, am I? Yeah. Point in your life, you can't hang over And it never goes away Still funny You're holding a solution in your hand right now. Yeah, I've done it.

It's a vicious cycle. Vicious cycle. Vicious cycle. But I've done it. I've done it. I've got nothing drank in the morning. I'm going to be rolling the table. Like oh, that was not edited in any way. It's a great place.

It's a great place. It's a great place. It's a great place. It's a great place. It's a great place. It's a great place. It's a great place. It's a great place. It's a great place.

It's a great place. It's a great place. It's a great place. It's a great place. It's a great place. It's a great place. It's a great place. It's a great place.

It's a great place. It's a great place. It's a great place. It's a great place. It's a great place. It's a great place. So mella Nice call me down. I'm not thinking about not thinking about white Genesis white male genocide Anymore. That's what you need. We need the opposite of jock jams in this world. Yeah, we need calm jams like that Calm jams and I just and a and a lukewarm today Yeah, that's all a man. It's all man. It's a really is luke Luke. I didn't even know I needed this. Yeah, Luke Warren today Put it in winter mode, Soviet Russia That's so fucking funny it does does. First time I turned it. Yeah, first time, it's got a little dial.

It's got, the bidet has a dial on it for just a little bit clean. I guess if you have like a prolapsed asshole and your asshole's hanging three inches down from where it should be on the seat, that's where that, it's got this mode where it's like, like prostate piss mode where it just comes out a little bit. Yeah. And it's got, it only works on full blast. Like I don't know why it has, I may be water pressure

and your lines has something to do with it. Oh, very high water pressure. So, I think it's just a joke. Dunjah. The Chinese stuck it on there as a joke. So you got to crank it like you're tuning into a radio station and cleaning your asshole. Where's my heart rate sensor? Yeah, good question. And we call, oh, he's calling me. Who are all from who are

these podcasts? Oh, yeah. We didn't get to talk about those, the academic trolls enough, I don't think. No, that's funny trolling too. That's rewriting mind-cop, bodybuilding is fat-shaming. Yeah. Pretty good. 20 papers. The last two thirds of this paper based on rewriting a roughly 3600 words of chapter 12 volume one of mind-comp. So these are three left-leaning professors just putting it out there as a, let's see,

let's see the further left go nuts over this shit. Well, they want to just show, this is totally true. No, they wanted to show that, they wanted to show that, like they wanted to expose this huge, excuse me. This huge failing and academia of publishing works that are non-rigorist, like they're gibberish. Yeah, yeah.

They're complete gibberish. And once they get published, people take them and base curriculum on them, they base policy on them, like they refer somebody should have caught this shit. Yeah, or just that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's like a senator's going up on, it's like a Senator going up and saying, we're gonna pass this bill because of, and then bringing in the Bible as proof.

Like that would not be allowed because everyone would say, are you a fucking idiot? That's a fantasy story that people use instead of calling national suicide hotlines. That's what that's for. So they're saying that it's becoming the same thing, were you bringing in an academic paper to show that policy should be something, but

it's not that it's based on nothing. It's rewritten mine comp. It's, it's, listen to this line is a dog rape, a concept, a conceptual penis was one of the articles? Grievance studies, let me see. They said that dog parks were petri dishes for canine rape culture. And said that people needed to be aware of the way dogs were treated depending on their gender. Dogs! Dogs!

Dogs don't rape, because they don't derive pleasure from rape. That's phenomenal. That's non-rigorous, right that's that's a that's non rigorous right because that's scientifically that's an accurate dogs don't have humans otters and dolphins have derived pleasure from sex and they have they rape dogs don't like elephants to elephants I mean I don't know I'm just a little guy the science dude here that's what I know I don't know if elephants rape. I think they derive pleasure. Then they rape.

Any animal that derives pleasure from sex, rape. That's my point. Monkeys and stuff. They're monkey rapists. Look at it, Sean. A chimps rape. A chimps rape. I would think chimps rape.

If they derive pleasure from it, they rape. That's my point. Right. Dogs do not. Yeah, I mean, it's not the same. That's all. It's just with dogs, it's like a, it's gonna be a dominant.

It's biological and parody. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Cause male dogs hump other male dogs. Okay, let me, let me see you at Carl. Oh, he's there, I see him. I see him. I see it. Mallard Ducks rape. Yes, ducks too.

Carl from who are these podcasts? Are you there, buddy? Huge rapists, Mallard Ducks. Can't sue me, it's true. It was written. That's a rape culture. That's so fucking funny. They associated male anatomy with climate change.

That's, that's, this is amazing. Each paper combined an effort to better understand the field itself with an attempt to get absurdities and morally fashionable political ideas published as legit. So there are problems that it, because something's put, like their problem is literally because it's politically fashionable, you can publish mind-con. Yeah. yeah. What's that say? Which is why it was published in a fucking first place.

Yeah. No, it's fucking scary. Uh, yeah, it's very funny prank. But this time, everybody's has the moral, hi, everybody's right. You know, as long as you're right, as long as you're morally right. You know what else makes me rage this week?

What's that? I think maybe it's the biggest rage of all time. Jesus. You get a little, you forget to shave before you shower. Yeah. So you say, I fuck it, I'm gonna go, I'll shave after I shower. All right, you get out the little clippers,

you whack yourself down to a reasonable level to shave and just shave through there. Yeah. You dust yourself off. A little baby powder in there to get the clingy. You put the pop that shirt on, getting you leave your house, you get in the car, you go, you get back out of your driveway, you go to turn left and as soon as you turn your fucking head,

you feel that little prick, a little fucking prick, hijack hair that has stowed a little fucking prick, hijack hair that has stowed away in your collar that you did not get from the old dusteroo, those the post-shape hairs, hiding in your collar that prick you like a misbehaving rot wiler. You're at the entire rest of your day

that you can never get rid of. That you didn't shave or that were left over, like left over off of your body in your collar that was sitting in the wetness of the shave on your skin and his sense dried and become lodged in your fucking collar that you spend the rest of the day clawing at your skin and your shirt

until you look like you've survived 9-11 because it's just a bloody claw marks that a dog was trying to eat something in your neck. Those little stowaway hairs, I've had that once in a year, once or twice a year, I'm good for one of those things, but God is it meant, God is things fucking and raging did things in the wrong order. Yeah, I got a sky panel, buddy. There we go. Carl. Hey, what's up, day? Hey, there you are, man.

How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? Hey, look at this. We got a bunch of cam shows. I know this favorite. Look at him. I'm paired.

Everybody is. Oh, I gotta quit discord now. What the fuck with this? Why is it so confusing? It is. It's terrible. It's absolutely terrible. Hey, hey, first of all, I got to apologize.

People, I do because it's funny. People might not know this, but I invited, look, look, look, look, look. Every week I try to put together a show. Yeah, I'm trying to put together an interesting lineup of guests to call in. Oh, is he been waiting for like months? I know. I mean, so Carl, Carl is, you're from who are these podcasts, right? Who are these podcasts?

Who are these podcasts? Who are these podcasts? Who are these podcasts? Who are these.com? We got, we got to move on. So, yeah, we got to go. We got to cut this. There's a earthquake.

Locust. Flood. So, Carl did, Carl We got to cut this. There's an earthquake. Locust flood. So Carl did Carl and his Carl and his boys reviewed an episode of this show. Yeah, it was the episode where Mr. Fancy pants was on and we first discovered that some men are pissing in bizarre ways. Yeah, yeah. Carl, by the way, which way do you piss? Is it above the through the fly or above the always always through the fly. That's ridiculous. You would put your pants out when

you're seven. That's ridiculous. Exactly. Like butters in South Park. Exactly. No, no, no, no. What do you put your pants out of? Yeah. All the way down around your ankles, just piss into the urinal, you're asking for it. Yeah. You're hanging your ass out. Like you're asking to get it sl, I carry around to wet towel now. Just in case I see a man at a urinal pissing over his fly, give that a crack. So that was the episode that Carl and who these podcasts reviewed. And then months later,

you guys reviewed Maddox's show. Yes. In fact, Dick, I went back and listened to every single episode of the biggest problem before I reviewed Maddox's show. Oh, wow. I did your show cold. I didn't know anything about it. Someone sent us a note said, you got to review Dick Masterson.

All right. So I spent a week listening to your show and trying to like, catch up on the gas and understand what's going on. That's not an easy task. It was tough. Yeah. By the way, I love what you have going in the on. That's not an easy task. No. It was tough. Yeah. By the way, I love what you have going in the background.

That would. The world, the wood veneer. I've got, I fucking love that. Man, all this minimalist shit, where I've got light fixtures, where it is a loosite cube with a 3D light bulb etched, like laser etched inside.

So it hangs. And when you turn it on, the light bulb etched like laser etched inside. So it hangs and when you turn it on, the light bulb illuminates and scatters the light. It is the most, it is the most pretentious fucking smug ass light fixture I've ever seen in my life. I've soon as I moved in here, I wanted to rip it down, but every woman loves it. So it's still up. This is the house that I want with

wood veneer on all sides. Is that a bill? Is that a bill's flag that you have in the back? This is actually a bill Stanley Cup champions. Yeah. See, what is that? This is a man so I'm so confused. What do you mean? You don't know sports. I'm watching the bills right now. They're down 12 to 10 with two minutes to go on the fourth quarter.

You guys record to show it the worst time. Oh, I'm sorry. Well, you know, the one time we don't bump the guy. Yeah, right. So, so Carl goes, I had all the time in the world, but that's fine. He goes through this huge effort to review, because I say, come on, come on the show and

talk about, talk shit about Maddox, right? That's what we're all about. So he goes through this huge effort to review the best debate on the episode with, maybe the work with that episode with Paul Flart, that idiot farting security guard. Oh, this, yeah. I mean, I've only heard about it. And then I don't remember what happened that episode. Something dropped, something huge dropped,

and I got too drunk. Oh yeah, and I totally, like, there was like, there was three people, I mean, line up people, and then forget, and I can't talk anymore, or think anymore, as I got it, I gotta go eat. I'm sorry, Carl, I'm outta here, and I totally fucked him over. So let's take the love of the story. I'm sorry Carl, I'm out of here and I totally fucked him over. So let's let him in the room.

Let me tell you the story. I'm driving to my fantasy draft, we're doing a casino. Yeah. And I got an hour long drive to get to my casino to do my draft. So I'm said, all right, well tomorrow I'm going on the DICK show. I'm going to listen to this newest episode from Maddox. And holy shit, I was screaming in my car. I'm so upset with this show. I can't believe this is a podcast. I keep maybe putting it out there seriously as if this was an entertaining show. It's the worst pilot garbage. They're going, oh, who does it look kind of fart around your girlfriend? Hey,

I don't know. I'm trying to hold it by parts. What are we talking about? It was the worst thing I've ever heard. Yeah. It is. This is an expert. You don't up on me. That's fine It's this is a podcasting expert saying that Maddox's show is garbage Doesn't even qualify what would you say is what what would you say are the worst things about Maddox's show as a professional Podcast reviewer perfect perfect question. Thank you. Thank you Problem with Maddox's show is that he's doing a comedy show and he doesn't even realize it. No one is totally going to do the comedy show. When you were on with him, with the biggest problem, you would go on and be like, yeah, I don't like these jerk offs. You ride their bike down the road.

And you'd go, my problem is female general mutilation. What? What the fuck are we talking about? There were too many times he wasn't in on the joke. What the fuck? Any fucked up those stats too. AIDS, what AIDS one? Are you saying one in six people have AIDS or something like that? So the first problem is that he's trying to do a comedy show.

He's no idea how to do a comedy show. Okay. The second problem is Matt has kind of himself into this mess. He'll never get himself out of now. We've trying to be a smart person. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He'll never recover from that. No. What do you mean? A smart person is hard. Oh, especially when you're an idiot. He's the dumbest person. What makes you say that? What makes you say that he said himself up as a smart person? Like, why, why'd you pick up on that? Oh, Maddox.

Oh, I was just watching your show and you got, the way he talks about his fans is if they're all just mouth breathers, we have nothing going on in their lives. Dick, I used to be a Maddox fan. I own the alphabet of manliness. I have it. Me too.

I don't understand why he thinks it's fun to like say, everyone who likes me is an idiot. Like, okay. That might be funny if you could like back it up, but it doesn't go anywhere. Yeah, I was a big fan too. I had his fucking book too. I was excited to meet him. I was excited to fucking work with him,

even though he's a pain in the ass because we made good content. Like I will always bring a deluge of content to the table. That's what I can do. Whatever it is, if it's biggest problems in the universe, I'll bring 5,000. All you gotta do is bring one, a one weird one that's to you. Like I'm an, I can imitate. I know what its podcast is supposed to look like. I can get an imitate comedy and bring in something that looks like it's supposed to be I'll bring you a great B story Right or bring a fucking a story if you want but all I it was all it was all great. It was all fucking great

But yeah, he totally you always got the show. Yeah, he does think he's smart He thinks he's a smart fucking guy. He thinks that's why people like this writing not because it was funny, but because he was fucking smart It is insane. It is insane Because you think about why you like to imagine the first place is because he's like your kids aren't fucking sucks Your kids are idiots. That was why I like it. Yeah, it was so funny Yeah, it's idiotic. Yeah, this position is idiotic. No, I think he was real, but it was for real. Look, I'm gonna tell you with a straight face that he absolutely means what he says about how that abusing kids will produce the next Mozart.

And the funniest thing is he doesn't even know, he can't even explain to you why Mozart is good. Like, well, I've had this conversation with him so many times, like, why do you think, why do you think why do you think? Abusing children like this or treating children like this is beneficial. He's like well, that's how you get the next Mozart like okay Holy shit the bills just won the game. There you go with a field go with zero seconds to go Your thoughts much more important Buffalo bills have done the improbable and won the Stanley Cup championship.

Exactly. The consmouth trophy winner is I went to a bill Jim Kelly for knocking back cancer a few times. I went to a bill Super Bowl. They were. Oh, yeah. I think it was the third or the fourth. They were like time they lost to the cow.

Four and a row, right? They didn't they go to four and a row? Four and a row. Yeah. Yeah. What? It might have to the cow. Four in a row, right? Didn't they go to four in a row? Four in a row. Yeah. It might have been the fourth. It was the one with Michael Jackson. Oh, I don't know. When we had to hold up the cards to do the We Are the World thing

around the same. Where was the Super Bowl that year? I don't remember. But on my card, you went on my, yeah, you know what city you were in? I was a kid. On F. Yeah, I don't remember how I got there, Sean.

100% remember that I was there. Yeah. On my card, it was an address. I don't remember how I got there Sean, 100% remember that I was there. On my card, it was an address. There was an address in a hotel room key taped to the back that was signed MJ. I never followed up on that. Good God. See, that's an example of a comedy show. Sean.

Yeah, I think you got a show. See, because Michael Jackson was sending me his hotel room key was my joke. Yeah, I do okay Now I'm following now you got it. Yeah, so dick. I have to tell you we reviewed Madison show we did one that was called is marketing evil and he has this whole debate on whether or not marketing is evil Which is a ridiculous premise? It's not funny at all. Why not like a funny one what's what's what's worse The Holocaust or American slavery. That's funny. It's a funny debate. Right. Proposary Well, Dustin's questions remember Dustin's questions. Yeah, would you rather fuck your mom with your girlfriend's mind or your girlfriend with your mom's mind? That's a funny debate. Right. You have fun with that. Go ahead. He's talking about his marketing evil and then he goes on that

exact same show. He does a live read for this snake oil that's going to be this hair growth formula. Oh, how long is it takes to get through that read? It's a 30 second spot. Took him, took him 37 minutes. He came out of there, but he could not fucking read. Was that the funniest time, the funniest behind the scenes of the biggest problem was watching Stuttering Stanley, try to read one sentence.

One fucking sentence. It was, it was like, you remember, do you ever see that movie Four Rooms? No. Where they have, they try to have a guy light a lighter, 10 times in a row, and if he can't do it, they're gonna chop a finger off. So the pressure, can you do that without even thinking?

Well, it's still hard. Even if, like if you try to light a lighter 10 times in a row, you're liable to slip or fuck up. Is it, depends, probably depends on the lighter too. Like the Beck ones are really easy. This was a lighter shaped like a woman's clitoris. So you can imagine it's very difficult to stay on, right? Okay.

Okay. That's another example of a comedy joke. Yeah. For a comedy podcast, Sean. Right. I wanted to do that with every time Maddox had a piece of paper. A gun shot. Because I got third degree burns one time.

So every time, every time he had to read something and had a piece of paper from him, I really wanted to say, if you can get, if you can get through that sentence without stuttering, I'll give you $1,000. Oh, fucking true. But if you can, I want to chop, I want to saw your bike in half with a sawzol, right?

Yeah, who was it? I think it was, was it 50 cent and Floyd Mayweather? It was like, yeah, it was like, because he like Floyd can't read, right? Yeah. 50 cent and Floyd Mayweather. Oh, it was like, yeah, it was like, because he like Floyd can't read, right? Yeah. If Floyd Mayweather can read one paragraph, I'll pay him a million dollars, something like that.

Anyway, what were you saying, Carl? Something about it. Yeah, that's fine. So I'm listening to this show where he talks about his marketing e-bore, and you know, imagine one of these guys who never had advertising on his website, and he was really proud of himself. Well, I don't take advertising. Because that's not a sense for you. Okay, I got the full brain dump of why he didn't run ads on

his site one time. Yeah. It was one of these times and he was hurting for cash. And I made the dumb suggestion of like, why don't you just run ads on your web? You know, make a couple, you know, you make a couple hundred bucks running, running an ad for busted teas. Like Honda is an advertising on your fucking website because people aren't buying targeted merchandise on your fucking website.

Yeah. He's cut himself off immediately from ever being able to change or evolve by having that his status. And by the way, I said I'd have to cut you off, Sean, but really good. I used to work at E-bombsworld. We sold our company for tens of millions of dollars

because we sold advertising on the website. Yeah. When was that? When was that? When did you sell it? We sold in 2007. 2000, so. I used to go to E-bombsworld all the website. Yeah. When was that? When was that? When did you? Sure. When did you sell it? We sold in 2007. 2000. Yeah. I used to go to ebombs world all the time. When Facebook was two years old. Yeah. Right. That was the time where you run advertising on your website. Now, no, it's all going to fucking Facebook and YouTube. I used to love those

money. I used to love those G.I. Joe cartoons. All those are the best. Those are so fucking funny. What did you do at E-bonds world? I was the advertising director. So I was the guy who monetized the website. So I'm there. You go. I'm going to wear.

I put ads on top of ads. I didn't give a shit. Like it's just ads everywhere. Fuck. Yeah. So you can confirm that marketing is evil. Then I think for who is evil, a marketing is evil. Like so I go around. Yeah. The price, so all right. So let me just get back

I got to finish that story. People are gonna manics would say the reason he didn't run ads is he does is because once he started taking money For running the ads then they would start then they there might come a time when they would disagree with one of his articles, and he would be faced with the decision of editing or censoring himself or turning down the money. Yeah. And I said, that's the dumbest, like, what do you, so you won't take money

because at some point you might have to stop taking money. That's the stupidest reason I've ever heard. It doesn't make any sense on principle. It doesn't make any sense financially. Nothing that you want your saying makes any fucking sense. So then turn it down. Then he's like, well, at that point, I might need that money and have gotten used to it and I won't be able to.

So I don't, it's like, it's like he's in this weird twist and mind game with himself. We're future, it all makes sense now. Everything makes more sense now. Okay, Carl, please continue. And to come down off your high horse, Maddox, you have millions of people coming to your website, monetize it, you fucking idiot. It's awesome. Anyway, it's so weird. Millions of people come into your website monetize it you fucking idiot

Anyway, it's so weird So he's doing the show about his marketing evil or not. He says I think you know He thinks marketing is evil because it's manipulative and then he goes on to do a read for a hair growth The baldest man in the world a guy who looks like an egg with AIDS The baldest man in the world, a guy who looks like an egg with AIDS. Armenian doctor, Robotnik is reading. I didn't know anything about this and I had to eat a minute. What kind of hair growth? Hold on, it gets better. So he goes out and he goes, all right, yeah, so what do we market as evil?

All right, our show today is sponsored by Snake oil hair growth formula you have to subscribe to this thing. It's an annual subscription It's over $80 a month with a thousand dollars a year Just write this hair grow formula shit. These promoting out of show The best part is he says guys candle hide doing that Who's back. The best part is he says guys, you know, I only promote products that I believe in. Right. So I'm going to actually take this myself and I'm going to prove that this works. This was back in June. I just want to talk. Please do a side by side video. It is not work.

He's followed her down that he was before. He's vaping now too. Really? Yeah. Yeah, that you know that Dr. Nurse Chick says that Maddox is chewing through edibles every night and he's openly vaping on stream now. I guess he's a big pothead now. Please, probably fucking

called self-medication. Probably getting close to dominoes. Probably, yeah. Oh. Ah. Vaping. The big ol' vape. Guy, I'm talking about people being douchebags,

taking a big ol' drag of his vape of his fucking robo cock. Ah. Ah. So the hair growth hasn't been working for him. I think he's working. I think the snake oil's working out. I thought that was so funny. He's like, I don't like marketing.

I think it's all manipulative. Oh, by the way, buy this hair growth formula. And then he's talking about how manipulation is the worst part of our marketing. And I point out the fact that he has mad bucks. You can transfer real money for bullshit in order to get his crappy merchandise The company store He's a walking contradiction that guy Yeah

Mad bucks that was a scheme that didn't work out. I think more things were purchased in dickles Then we're purchased in mad bucks no more purchased in Madbots. No doubt. Dickles are back by the way. I finally fixed my theory of instance. Yeah, I had a problem with the theory of a hard drive. I couldn't figure it out. I finally got it back. So Dickles are going back out.

All right. What was the, now I want to take some of this hair growth stuff. I put it on my balls or something. Get them extra hair. Just put it on your forehead. Just like I them extra hair. Just put it on your forehead. Just like, just like, just over and over, just at one strip. I'm gonna put it in between my eyebrows. I've always wanted a big, free to callow, Yuna Brown.

Oh, yeah, perfect. I'm gonna just buy it and put it there. You take your picture every morning and do that time lapse video after a year. So you can just see the hair grow on your forehead. Yeah, she appellied me. I'm gonna do the Alex Jones ones before the before the after. So we reviewed on WOTP as the Alex Jones show. Definitely worth a listen. What did you think about Alex Jones? Oh, I am a huge Alex Jones fan, but he is fucking ridiculous. Yeah. His show is the products that he's

pushing are so silly. Yeah. Cracks me up. They're preposterous. How many episodes? I mean, they're like even by nature, they're, they're, they're ludicrous products that he's selling. Water filtration. He's a weak full of episodes prepared for my show. He was promoting this toothpaste that he made. Yeah. And he was calling it the Bentley of toothpaste. He's like week full of episodes prepared for my show. He was promoting this toothpaste that he made. Yeah, and he was calling it the Bentley of toothpaste. He's like, there are two space out there. This is the Bentley of toothpaste. It's just toothpaste.

Capped out. What makes it better? Well, it's Alex Jones, I'm worried. Right, I'm a person of Jins. It's filtered. It's filtered. It will filter the fluoride that comes out of your tap that makes you gay. Right. The toothpaste has built in ingredients. I see. To filter those to cancel those out. Gotcha. Gotcha. It has fluoride.

Bloride cancel out the fluoride. That's great. I love Alex showing so much. He's so sad. He's so funny. That show. I love Alex, Sean's so much. He's so sad. He's so funny. That's you. Uh, okay, so did you find anything else wrong with the Maddox show that he could work? I really like, here's, this is, this is free advice for Maddox, although I, I mean, maybe he'll hear it, maybe on his way to the vape store, he can listen to this advice.

He should do bonus episodes where they debate really offensive debates, like the one I just said about the Holocaust and like, you know, our women asking for it, like yes, he should go back to being an internet provocateur edge lord and debate things that are actually, that are like, he's ridiculously hotly contested. Yeah. Right?

I mean, he's just like is a portion ever wrong? That's a good bonus episode. Because then you don't have to put it out there with your guests. Or this is like the kind of easy shit. This is why the biggest problem worked because I bring this part to the table. Uh, uh, you don't, you don't understand, Dick. You don't understand his idea is let's talk about farting for an hour This will be hilarious people are gonna get down. Who is this audience? Where are these people are so listening to this?

Yeah, so controversial something everyone does I see it never farted in front of a woman I guess yeah What was the worst part of the what's the worst part of that episode that you listen to I guess. Yeah. So silly. What was the worst part of the, what's the worst part of that episode that you listened to, I guess? Oh, I felt so bad for, so we brought down this guest who is a very successful business person has been, you know, became a multi-millionaire

through marketing. Yeah. And he sits this guy down and he goes, is marketing evil? And the guy's like, what? What's the question? Is, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the,

what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what What do you think of this conversation? Class act. Class act. All right. Hey, so much wrong with that show. I don't know why he has a news person on now. He tries to turn it into like the Howard Stern show. We're going to debate this topic for an hour. And then we're going to talk about news. And then we're going to, it's like, what a, it's so random. He doesn't have any focus anymore.

He's lost the focus. He's getting back to. What do do you are you in the death pool? There's a death pool on reddit and facebook over win maddox is gonna cancel the show are you in that and I mean I guess his I guess Yesterday, yes, you know you think that'll be his last show He hasn't put out a show to have a week's I don't think oh How about it? No, he recorded a show with Blair White, this trans woman, uh, all right, uh, whatever, who they were talking about. Can you be authentic on YouTube talking to a trans woman about?

Can you be, is it possible to be authentic on YouTube? Um, I think Andy Worsky's here to talk about that one too. But I don't know, I don't know if, I don't understand the beef that goes back with Blair White, I guess a lot of people hate her. Oh. Yeah. All right, Carl, what makes you a rage, man? Dude, what makes me a rage?

People who shit at work. Yeah. I don't know what you guys do, and if you go and do a 90-5 kind of thing, I get so pissed off, I shit at home, like an adult, and then I go to work all day. And I don't get there on time. I'm not pretending I get there on time,

but there are people who get there before me, at all high in mighty, and then they're the bands for a half an hour. I've already done with this, shit, I'm working. Don't fucking pay yourself on the back. Oh, look at me, I got here at eight, did ya? Cause you're shitting now. That's impressive.

The reason we can't sleep in the bathroom at work is because you asked holes are in there shitting up a storm every day, making it in habitable for the rest of us. I'll go sleep in the nice old booth. That's the advantage of working at a studio. Yeah, no noise, put the lights out. Nobody knows.

Did you reach dick? Tell me, tell me you're the same way I am. You train yourself to shit when you get up. You have shit shower and shit, and then your day is on. Absolutely. You'll go back. Absolutely, but those days, first of all,

if you don't do that, then I don't know where Sanitarly what's going on with you. Like, I don't know how you, if you don't do that, then I don't know, Sanitarly, what's going on with you? Like, I don't know how you, if you have to shit at work, and you can go around the rest of your day feeling like a 100% version of you, I don't know what's going on. I don't know, you won't feel like a 100% version of you.

Yeah, you feel like, you got to delay in everything. Every step is a problem, you know? It's like showing up to work having to shit. I can't even, I can't even pitch for that. What are you doing? I have meetings to go do. I'm done shitting, I'm good. What's going on?

See, this is part of the info that I want on everybody. I want to know, do you wake up and shit, and then every day? Is that something that you expect at it? That's a check mark on them. I need augmented reality to let me know who the people are who don't do this. Because those are the people you can't take on hunts.

You understand? Yeah. This is I'm talking about 10,000 years ago, when you're in a cave, you're getting your boys together to go wrestle up some food, to co-knock down a mammoth through an elephant to something. And you're authoring.

And Bill's fucking behind a tree because he got it. Yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to evade your one spear down. Did you not shit this morning? through an elephant and build fucking behind a tree because he got it. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to evade your one spear down. Did you not shit this morning? Stay the fuck home. You're in no condition to go out and hunt with the rest of us. We've all taken our morning shits. You go figure it. You stay home with the women today and help them hunt for cucumbers and clean up after us. That's what you're on shit. You're on shit patrol, buddy. And then after you

evacuated yourself properly and gotten back in line with the team, then you can go out tomorrow. All right. You're raising kids today, buddy. You're riding bitch. We're going to go out and brag a big one just for you. And you're going to have to eat the penis, right? Take this is where we lost being numb. We weren't training our troops to shit in the morning. They were shitting all day long. Is that true? We couldn't get focused. That is true. That's a stupid joke.

That's a stupid joke. That's a stupid joke. You get a lot of shit in my jungle, you know? I agree with you, Carl. Man, I really enjoy talking to you. I gotta become a regular listener of your show. How many episodes do you have? We should.

We just did 123. Oh, shit. Yes, we put it out today. Hey, we're recording 123 right now. What else we are? How many episodes do you have? We just did 123 or something yesterday. We put it out today. We're recording 123 right now. What else we are? Holy shit, like it us. You were on, it's a great idea too. Like endless material and most podcasts are so fucking bad.

That's what I hear. What do you find is the worst thing about them? Like what are the top three worst things that everybody does? We recorded the show yesterday. It was a true crime show. And I have a hard time going with the true crime genre because I had this one show called The Vanished. Didn't like our review of their show and they tried to get me fired.

They have a job in Spouse, which is always fun. Why did they always say to get you fired? Like, a Maddox's friends or something? Yeah. Oh, so they do the show about missing persons. Right. And I made jokes about sad missing persons. Oh, yeah. That's what our show is. It's a joke show. Yeah.

Right. Taking ourselves seriously. And these people decided that I was the kidnapper because I was making jokes about this shit. So like, well, this person should not have been employed. God forbid this person was supplied, you know Mentored me and for my for the philips What's that it's so Demented it's crazy. It's crazy. Yeah anyway, so so we did a show yesterday That was another true prime show and what all these shows do is they just read the internet to you

I was following along on the wiki pdf page. This guy was reading. And he's acting like he's putting on a show. I mean, this isn't a show. You're just reading a wiki page. Yeah. It's not entertaining. Man, I, uh, do you guys do guest host? Cause I would, honestly, I would love to come on and shit on a show with you. I do guest hosts every single week. You're on. I love to come on. Hey, hey, push him off about six or eight times. It'll be fun. Don't you, don't you fucking bump me to mother fucker.

I love it. I deserve it though. If you do, uh, man, the worst part is dick is I promoted the fact that was going to be on your show. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry. Some days I just go through, like I put off my apology days for Friday, so I can start it like two and get sauce. And then I open my email and look for all the, hey, my order is missing. You fuck face.

You sent me the wrong shirt. You fuck face. Hey, you made fun of, you made fun of trans people too much. You fuck face, like I go go it's my fuck face day Where I just get shit faced until I stop remembering what I'm doing Dude I live the exact same life as you man. I totally get it. I totally got that. It's no fun I could like disappoint today. Oh everyone. That's right. Yeah I think I asked my regular quick. All right buddy. No, I can't wait to be on the show.

I definitely have to get you out. Let's coordinate that. And I want to let you know that 36 years from now, I will remember this day. Thanks for having me, I wish you all. Excellent. Yeah. All right, see ya.

I believe him. I said, I want to check out his show. Yeah, I don't want to check out anything. Yeah, but I want to, it is a great premise. It is a great premise, right? Yeah, sure. You guys, why not? It's so fun to shit on people.

Because like you say, so many podcasting is in its infancy really. So there's so many bad ones. It's very easy to put out there. Yeah. Everybody thinks they can do exactly. Everybody thinks they're interesting and funny and can hold together a cohesive thought and they forget that people are watching them.

Like something I do, seriously, something I do for the show is I'll think of like, I'll think of like five fans who I know listen to the show. And every once in of like, I'll think of like five fans who I know listen to the show. And every once in a while, I'll just try to imagine them listening to the episode that we're doing to get like a sense of, you know, I'll imagine like Nick listening to an episode and I'm like, okay, this is your, because I have a tendency, especially in this seasonal affected disorder that we're in.

I have a tendency to get extremely nihilistic when I think I'm talking to myself, which is basically what this show is, it's important to keep in mind. Now, somebody else is in the room here, fucko. Well, that's funny because I play off you. So it's like, that sounds gay the way you said it though. I play off you.

Say like we're working as a team. I play off you. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. No, but it's I'm not a guy who can I can't do the thinking of the listeners and speaking to them. Yeah. Like I have to speak to someone in the room. Yeah. Yeah. Um, Andy Worsky's here. Let me get him on. All right. Yeah. What's up, guys? Andy Worsky. What's up, man? I just chilling after a good four-hour stream of shitting on people. Oh, is that what you're doing today? It's the sun.

It's a Sunday. Okay. Sunday, Monday, man. That's what it's all about like Sunday. Honestly, it's fucking church. I wake up and just talk about the devil all day. There's the season. It's today. Today, the devil is believing women. And so the devil has appeared to us in the form of women being believed today. Today the devil has believed in women. And so the devil has appeared to us in the form of women being believed

today. And in the form of men's bodybuilding competitions where I can't walk look away from the penis crests in their speed oh, on the pain. Hey, will you give, will you do me favor and give everybody a little introduction of who you are?

Because I always fuck it up. I do streams. I do videos, Andy Worsky. I did go through a pretty bad spiral after the breakup with my ex co-host. And I've only recently caught it back. And last week has been phenomenal. Today, I did what, 2500 watching live, the video, like the live show is at 25,000, like real time right now. That's fucking bad.

You're right. You're fucking, if you shit on Maddox, like fucking views, man, that's straight up. I'm telling you, Maddox is like a gift from God because he will never think like he has a fucking, so he has a fucking something wrong with his brain that makes him think he's he's right. He is the ultimate villain because he will never see why what he's doing is fucked up. Yeah. I mean, mainly I did bash Blair White who was on his show.

I just found it really ironic because she's absolutely fucking fake, like beyond, beyond, and I explained it all in a four-hour podcast that I could put it really explained in a sentence or like a paragraph, but that's not fun. You have to throw in the jokes and stuff, right? So I found it ironic when I saw her a last night on Maddox's show and I'm like, oh my, and they're doing a show on, oh, was it,

is it possible to be authentic on YouTube or something like that? I'm a two of the fakes people. Yeah, this is, so I click it and excitement gone. I spent four hours online looking for, for that audio, it is gone. It's gone. It's a fuck. So it made it. It's for a course to show and then he kills it is gone. It is. It is. Fuck. So, mathematics records the show and then he kills it immediately after. So, because he knows that people are gonna invade it and destroy it.

Like, we just see, do this normally? Yes. Or this, so, mathematics is doing this thing now where every Saturday he streams and he gets in there with his little vape, this little vapor and his, his, hey, I'm a kid. Hey, hey, my fellow kids had with the big eyeball on it. And he tries to, he attempts to do like a live show, but then he immediately kills the feed because everyone swarms it and shits all over it. If he leaves it open for even a second, can't people, well, I mean, can't people record it? And then yes, yes, except we don't know how funny it's going to be until it's too late.

So he was on, Maddox was on with Blair White. What is, she's like a trans right wing con artist or something like that. Yeah, yeah. Like, basically, to explain what she did quickly was her most recent video or second last video. And she's done with the conservative skeptic crowd or whatever, because there's a bunch of fakes and explains a bunch of stories about how, who I think she's talking about is like Stephen Crowder and those guys, how everyone's fake, you know, like behind the scenes, or you don't know,

or you have no idea if you just saw what they did, like, oh my God, you'd be shocked. Sounds familiar. This is the same lying and lying shit, man. It's the implications. It's the same shit that Maddox does to us. Yeah, but it's like, tell us. Yeah, so that's right.

She's abandoning your audience that she's cultivated to leave and go by the way, 90% of who you watch is fake. Peace. And then virtue signals by saying, I've been so scared, people threaten me in all this. And then I found a video from four months ago where Stephen Crowder is interviewing her and he's like, Oh, you're going to this drag gone. I heard you got death threats. And she's like, Yeah, but I don't care. Like she gave no shit for now. She wants that sympathy because she's reached the ceiling of that crowd. I know she wants to be in a main stream.

Anytime somebody talks about all the horrific death threats and harassment they get, I'm like, yeah, you know what, fucking good. Fuck you. I get either show it, either just put it on blast or shut the fuck up about it. Like, they love it. It's like these professional victims and cry bullies, they get these threats and like,

ooh, it's like a, it's like Christmas morning to them. Why is that fucking job? Well, Dick, when you have as many stalkers as Maddox does, I mean, just, you know, put yourself in his shoes. Yeah. Yeah, I said that same thing. I'm like, like, if you have that, that, you know, juicy info, and you're

not going to say it, don't, don't say it. And also, how do we know that she's not lying? Well, because there is no juicy info. We got to believe all women now, Andy. Don't you know? Yeah, yeah, apparently. No, I mean, like, look at this, look at this fucking picture. We're looking at a picture of Maddox where he's blowing his vape out of his fucking nose like Ferdinand the bull like with cancer. They tried into the fucking microphone with a big shrine to himself behind him. Yeah, dude, I remember you messaged me long like before I lost this other Twitter account that you were coming to LA and they Immediately locked me for some shit. I said the next time the next thing I heard from you

You were going walking around Hollywood with a speaker that was reading out Superchats so people would pay money to a stream that would then be said by a little computer voice Yeah on Hollywood Boulevard like two blocks from where I used to live So people would pay money to a stream that would then be said by a little computer voice. Yeah. On Hollywood Boulevard, like two blocks from where I used to live. I was so fucking pissed. No, my fucking Twitter kept me away from this. That shit was so funny, man.

See, by the end, I wanted to die. Like, great idea. We were in, so basically, we were almost like arrested basically at at Berkeley. So we went there and it's yeah, it was a miss. Recall point where I'm like seven hours of, you know, Hitler quotes and we were doing drop-out. And baked the last because anyway, walking down the stairs and I see three cops and they're looking at us. I'm like, okay, these guys are looking for us because we are not low-key. Like, so Baked's like, hey officers, come here.

And we're like, oh, Baked, you, why? Why would you do this? So we're in this like crazy situation. I just wanna die at this point. So we end up going into a burger place. I forgot what it was called, because I'm from Canada. This is when the chats are still being read, right?

The super chats are still being blasted out? The super chats are still blasted out. Dude, Sean, it's so fucking funny. That's all right. It's like a guy's walking around with a camera mounted and just and people are what people say online. Yeah. Reading out like blasting Hitler. It's just fucking hilarious. But that last one was the worst because I think it was like Sonic's or whatever burger place. And I'm sorry, buy my food. I'm filling up my drink, right? So I'm like facing the counter.

There's like, you know, a little Asian girl, like some Indian dude, some guy, we're like, like basically the UN of people who work at Sonic staring at me. And then Asian Andy's beside me and the and the Kramer, the Kramer bit where he's just screaming the end of her. Yeah. Just goes full blast. And they're all just like terrified.

Like I just, you know, terrifying. It is terrifying. That's why it's so funny. It's like, oh, yeah, I mean, I didn't say it, but you're carrying around to speaker and you knew what they're, you know what they're going to say? You're still not your fault, right? Um, got a so fucking funny. I see phone calls, you know, for my Facebook messenger and ever like, what the hell are you doing? Oh my God. like everyone's watching this live.

Imagine like friends who don't really watch you on YouTube. Go go, oh look, Andy's in LA. What? I just created right to 100. I mean, you know what the neighborhood is like where I used to live, mega city one. Yeah, sure. You're asking, you're fucking asking for it

big time walking around with a speaker blaring obscenities. I would racially charged obscenities. Probably so. That's what fortune, the guy on fortune who figures out how to mount that on a drone so that there's just like $50 drones flying around with a camera and a super chat rigged up to it, just parked outside of like, you know what I mean? Just hilarious.

Parked outside of a Starbucks getting whatever gets gets super chatted, they're going to make a billion goddamn dollars. Every crowd fund, a drone with a speaker and a webcam that parks it, it's going to get destroyed, but fuck it's 50 bucks, right? You're definitely going to make 50 bucks doing the super chats. That's a fucking billion dollar idea. Um, I've seen Asian Andy do that actually, but, but no speaker, but he's got the camera and he flies to like, you know, local baseball games. And just tries to get as low as possible until they all look up and he's like, oh damn.

Oh, man, what have you been doing lately? After I watched the, I watched the show kind of fall apart. I was worried about you guys. I liked it. And I liked everybody who was doing it, but I watched them. I watched someone else's team. No, no, I just needed like a reset, which I did. And I started making up my old, like, a videos again, but rather than debunking, it's just straight up.

Just jokes went more into the comedy. That's exciting. For the last few weeks. And then so that started doing well. And then I've been doing streams last week. And then it started with 300 viewers. And then 700. And then like 1400 and today 2500. Never say, yo, man, you're back. You have to groove. Just keep. I was looking for a co-host constantly. I don't need a co-host. Just be just, just get yourself an audio engineer. We were having a contest for a while. We could be the next co-host.

So yeah, I know I'm really happy because yeah, I was getting worried there, not gonna lie. It was weird to see it fall apart like that. What makes you a rage, man? Or what are you gonna do with this, what were you talking about on the Blair White stream? Just what, she's like, she's a hypocrite,

she's gonna authentic. What was that? There was that and then how, when, you know, she actually on that walk on that same walk you were talking about in LA, I saw her and I'm like, oh, hey, what's up, Blair? And I knew her, you know, like for a while, we've been friends. And then she like, was acting all weird.

And then I noticed she was on, like, stop following me. And then I was like, hey, why is you unfollowing me? And then she starts tweeting out, oh my God, this guy at DM like twice, says I'm like, you know, like I unfollow him, like he's so weird. And I showed on my screen, I blocked out with the actual DMs, where I'm scrolling through like a year's worth of DMs, I'm like, yeah, him, like he's so weird. And I showed on my screen, I blocked out with the actual DMs where I'm scrolling through, like a year's worth of DMs, like yeah,

I didn't know her at all. So that was my personal beef with her. Then it's this, you know, like leaching off, you know, the fans and throwing everyone under the bus type thing. And then like, just like all that, I went deep. And then I found some of her t-shirts. I actually photoshopped all the pieces from the t-shirt

like into separate images and found them all clip art and they're all copyright infringement. Oh, that's nice. I spent like Dave planning this thing. Well, I asked her to look at Maddox's lawsuit. I don't know if she will, but if she does and has no comment on it, then fuck her. Oh, she won't.

I'm telling you right now, man, like, like those guys, like they, they're just so, I don't know symbiotic with each other. They really are just admit it. Just admit your friend is being a douche. Yeah. Um, so I guess we'll wait and see, but, uh, fuck her with,, but fuck her with her own trapdop dick if she doesn't want to come out. Oh, by the way, she was watching the show because I typed in, you know, at Blair. I saw her. She had been in the chat, so that's funny.

Oh, that's good. Well, she wants to come on. Let me know. She can tell us what she thinks about Maddox. I'll throw her in the end. Yeah, thanks. I find it hard to believe she wasn't aware of it. That's just amazing. Thanks for having young guys. I want to hold you guys. Yeah, thanks for having a piece. What makes you a rage, man? What makes you? I ask everybody that. What makes you a rage? Today trans people. There we go. You just want to suck all their dicks you know I mean Okay, I have the same rule like I'm down to suck a dick, but it's got to be big enough

As no one's ever given me one that's big enough impress me I don't want to suck a small dick. It's gonna be my first time sucking a dick What do I want of my memory of dick sucking to be some fucking cocktail wiener? I want a big fucking you bring me a dick that's big enough, I'll suck the shit out of it. Until then. No, thank you. That's my motto.

Don't be one of those, you know, trends where too much hormones and it just hangs there. It doesn't get like, you know, it's like a, like the bottom of a turkey, you know, like the gizzard. Yeah. Anyway, I don't want that right. All right, Andy, thank you very much. Right, peace guys.

Yeah. Oh, boy, what have we done today? I think we've done a lot. I think we've done a lot too. You know, I had an erotic story. You know, I hear about that. I mean, going on a kind of long time. We're at two and a half.

Yeah. Uh, but two and a half. Yeah. Now, let me get to some voicemails. Okay. I'm gonna play a song and then think about it. This one's little George, little George Blue. So there was an Asterios, a two album.

Yeah. Yeah. That LA Arson was putting together with a bunch of guys and I guess it, I guess there wasn't enough interest to keep it going. So there's a lot of, there's a glut of songs now that have come from that, that aren't being used in the album, which is too bad, because I really love the first one.

I love everything the guys put together. I wish the stereos would call in. Yeah, well, he's, he, I'm sure he will at some point. But, you know, like the first time we went through the lawsuit, remember I was the only one talking about it. The first time we went through, worries me that he's not gonna talk, because it's, you know, like the first time we went through the lawsuit, remember, I was the only one talking about it. The first time we went through worries me that he's not going to talk because it's, you know, it's exciting. Yeah, fun to talk about. Yeah, it's got to be fun. Well, it's gonna have, it's what I'm gonna be fun. Man, I'll be fun for him. It has to be. It has to be. That's a, it's a choice. It's got to be,

it's got to be fun. Depends, it depends, I I think it depends on other potentially stressful factors. Like, Shani's got a beautiful, look at that girl. Her stereosis with that beautiful girl. He's got no business with being with somebody that beautiful. None of us do. You know what I'm saying? She's a beautiful woman. Yeah.

She's getting shit faced with, doing comedy with. What could possibly be wrong in the world? That's money. Money's just a number. That's just a number in a bank. Yeah, well I'll tell you, don't have enough of it. Yeah, that's true. That's the bitch of it.

I helped Jamie, maybe this telling tales out of school, I helped Jamie open up, I don't count it the bank. I just got a big check, they wouldn't let her open an account with it. Really? Yeah. So I had to go and swing in my dick around. Yeah, exactly.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Yeah, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I walk in, you know how they got that little sign, I'll do this, I walk into the bank, shine. Then you know, they got that little sign up sheet, sign in to see a banker. Yeah, I walk up and there's no pen.

Oh my gosh, no fucking pen. I look over and there's a job with a hut sitting on a three person sofa across from my, chewing, chewing on a pen like a gelatinous guinea pig, chewing on a flavor stick, knowing on it, I think. I think they're 100% sure that that's the pen that belongs with this clipboard, right? So I say, yeah, there's no pen. I gotta go find a pen.

I take the clipboard. And the woman has the audacity to look up at me. Pulls, she pull, I mean, the saliva rope connecting the pen to her mouth is still there. And she's, oh, here it is. And I said, no, thank you, man. That's been, you've been eating that. It's halfway down your throat.

No, no, thank you. It's been in your mouth. Pallitely as I could say it. You know, politely as you it. No, no, thank you. It's been in your mouth. politely as I could say it. politely as you are. Yeah. No, thank you. It's been in your mouth. And I thought, you know, at this, maybe someone hasn't told you that that's that your mouth is the, the, the mouth skin is different from the other skin and that we don't usually contact it with each other That's something that we don't that's an intimate thing that we share with each other Foceting pens that you've thank God. I saw you treating that pen like a like a fucking cigarette

Or else I would have just had your hand-beast slabber all over my butt unbeknownst to me Thank fucking God my periphery noticed her annoying into this thing. Cause it was almost, you know, it was 11 Z's. So I'm sure she worked up quite an appetite floundering around the bank all day that she needed to chew on a bick. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

It was one of the most egregiously disgusting things I've ever seen, talking about the woman chewing on the pen. Why would you chew on pins in like a public, a bank pen? That's exactly what I was just saying. Why'd you just go lick the floor of a post office? You fucking beamed. What the fuck?

If you want to chew pins on your desk at home, that only you, you know, whatever. Some people chew pencil, some people chew pins, some people's sceptics, right? Right, you know, whatever. Some people chew pencil, some people chew pens, some people suck dicks, right? Right, I'm not judging. I'm not judging, but just don't take the dick out of your mouth and hand it to me, like you're doing me a favor.

Unless it's big enough. When would I have known? When I grabbed it and felt the teeth marks? Yeah. Is that when I would have known what a great and tremendous dupe that I'd just fallen for? Fuck a sh**. You fucking cow.

No, thank you. It has been in your mouth. He's done afterwards, I told you. He's like, all right, well, thanks for stopping by. Dick, today you need to get new pins. People have been chewing on them. Why don't you think about that? This little operate, this pen chewing operation

that you're running here at the bank, fuck, think it over. Yeah. Pratsky says, holy shit, I hate this so much. I follow you on Twitter, but I don't need to see every reply and everything you favorite there.

I only wanna see what you post, your guy I wanna follow. Imagine me adding a family member, a friend from work on Facebook and seeing whatever, seeing and him seeing whatever I interact with. I don't wanna just see whatever I do online. I don't think this person does either

if he's not a autism. That's Pratsky saying that. Same thing with Instagram, Instagram, models and your friends followers. My only explanation is that these Silicon Valley ignorance don't know how people work in social media with this connective mentality is a huge lie and everyone bought it into

because we don't have any alternatives. Just want to share my thoughts. Great episode as always. It's because they want to make us miserable. So we're more receptive to advertising. The closer people get to being miserable, the higher ROI climbs directly. So don't doubt that at all. What's worse than familiarity with your friends and family?

Hell is other people. That's why that's why soon your house will all be smart walls broadcasting an infinite loop of what your family and friends are doing all day. So you fucking hate them and want to kill yourself. And then as soon as it detects, as soon as it detects you wanting to kill yourself, it comes a dominoes. I'll send an adominus ad for you to buy a pizza. Call our suicide hotline in order of a hot pizza today. Right. Um, choke really our wings. They want, it's like Deadpool. How they suffocated him and then as soon as he's dead, they give him the air again.

That's social media. Yeah. Yeah. Make you fucking miserable and then hate your friends and then they send you a video celebrating your five year friend of versory. Oh, and then, and then they, then they tell you, then they give you a suicide hotline number staffed by people who are just as miserable as you and put you on hold. Weird times. It's just the whole idea of a suicide hotline number.

A farcical is a ridiculous farcety to me. Yeah, I don't know much about those. I wonder how many people they, how many people call them, you know, suicidal people call them, and how many people they talk out of it. Maybe it's a trick, they just connect you with other people who call them. Yeah, my work better.

I don't know. Yeah, I don't fuck. Well, it's like, I mean, I got lots of reasons to kill myself, but you. Yeah, like they talk to each other. It's like, because you know, grass always greener. And I think I'd game a fire. Yeah, talk stupid, put a game on it.

Justin Halbert, hey, dick, what a fucking episode? I listened to all of this at work, and that part about Medusa and her 63 ways came up. I bet you can guess what else started to come up. Diary, I'm probably the... Why are you with come up. Oh, diarrhea, probably. Oh, I'm in the problem. I'm in the problem. I'm in the problem.

I'm in the problem. I'm in the problem. I'm in the problem. I'm in the problem. I'm in the problem. I'm in the problem. I'm in the problem. I'm in the problem.

I'm in the problem. I'm in the problem. I'm in the problem. I'm in the problem. I'm in the problem. I'm in the problem. I'm in the problem. I'm in the problem.

I'm in the problem. I'm in the problem. I'm in the problem. I'm in the problem. I'm in, so it was not to embarrass myself. My partner today just so happens to be the hottest chick in the world to boot. Ah! Things settle down finally. Peach starts talking about Lik and Pussy. She did.

Peach got away with talking about, I mean, she didn't say that she did, but she didn't answer the question, which means, yes. Which we know, yeah. I thought I was gonna have to just go home. Maybe it would have turned that chicken, but who wants to risk it me too, yeah?

Hey point, all right everybody. Let's get to some Captain Jackass news. Yeah. All right everybody, this is been the Dixho. Dixho, thedixho.com, patreon.com slash the Dixho. See you next Tuesday. Did I play the little George Blue song? No, you never did.

No, I never did. All right, I'm gonna play Todd Sidel with little little George Blue song? No, you never know. No, I never did. All right. I'm gonna play Todd side L with little little George blue How the fuck did I get pulled off of that? I don't know the hell was I talking? I sort of noticed it but thanks to all in Benjamin obviously and Carl from who are these podcasts Andy Worsky calling in all right here you go little George blue Coney and all right here you go a little George blue God the Nick the Nick thing too. I forgot to play Next week, I got up. Yeah, okay

So long long time ago when you're still friends I got my buddy to move in with Madx very quickly got fleas man it's a good thing because I like I don't have fleas the fleas came from our immediate while Madx moves in he goes Madx wants to show us and move in if Madx doesn't like what't have to say They will shut it up, I'll just find your present family And it's will, call your boss, tryin' to ruin your gig As you live in a posthumous hell of a wig

That it's lost downstairs, don't know so many holes That all cash, that work Losing fans, losing fans, losing fans, they don't wanna order you one Or a argument-working heart Hey, can't wait, that is not that look, kick it at all Sit down under, make it out, be funny Little Joe Spoon, cause it's a bit of money He can act that he jokes, those eyes are what he hear I got hacked the movies in the experience. I'm a man with a way, I'll set you up and I'll wear a vision, I'll be pushing it all you have.

I'm a man with a vision, I'll be pushing it all you have. I'm a man with a vision, I'll be pushing it all you have. I'm a man with a vision, I'll be pushing it all you have. All right, all right, all right. It's four minutes, four minutes. I gotta get, I'll play Captain Jack. All right. Hello, Dick and hello, Dickette.

This is the Facebook group news for the last couple days. A brief honorable mention to Fred Simon who was invited to an improv class at UCB with his friend. Fred has a Dick show tattoo on his forearm, which he got in Dallas and is offering to wear a short sleeve shirt to his first class. First up this week is a new poll in the Dick show Facebook group asking members if they were interested gotten Dallas and is offering to wear a short-sleeved shirt to his first class. First up this week is a new poll in the digital Facebook group asking members if they were

interested into execred Santa this year. The top result with 86 votes was nice open poll, Faggot. Followed by 42 votes for no and in third place with 15 votes is this sounds like a communist propaganda. Only 12 votes received yes. Dick had elaborated in the comments about why they aren't interested in Secret Santa. Comments include, most of you are too poor, this is gay,

and a 71 comment threatened about how Dustin made a dickhead named Emily feel uncomfortable. She says Dustin asked for Emily's photo ID the first time Emily tried to do Secret Santa. Dustin says he did this in order to protect the names and identities of dickheads in the group. Clay believes Dustin was looking to add items to his spank thing.

A photo I need! Next up is Carrie Grove, again. After dickhead Ian created a group dedicated towards her, specifically enhanced photography posting. The purpose of this group would be to quote, cut out all of the boring stuff from Carrie's photos. Carrie found this distasteful as Ian announced his first child being on the way no sooner than two days before he created the group. Dickheads were livid in the comments, but not in defensive Carrie.

Rather, they were upset because he is marrying the woman he impregnated, apologizing for something, and took the group down. Lastly, we have Zach Mut. Zach posted a picture of a blow-up mattress and a cold concrete basement. Zach alleged to have moved in with some furries he's good friends with. The furries host parties on occasion, and in order to prevent furries from fucking throughout the house, the air mattresses where they go to do their business. Skeptical of this post, I did a reverse image search on Google and found no matching results. Zach assured us that he is safe. He said, quote, these guys are cool. Zach promised to share more information while within the furry dungeon. And he even alluded

using the mattress himself. There it is. It has been the Dictoe Facebook news for the last couple of days. Zach, he's moved into a furry house and they have a of a Yif room in the basement. That's one of the most unsexy set. It's an air mattress in the middle of a room with just Chicago bulls. Uh, paint the paint around it. It's on. I got it on the stream right now. It's that way. It's like a dog bed. Yeah. Well, that's what it is. There you go. There you go. A furry house. Yeah. So what they do, I guess, some furries.

They all band together around their like specific type of furry. They're like fraternities, furturnities, like diaper furrs, Delta poo, I guess. And then they got lizard furries. They have a little terrarium together. Oh my God. They set it up like Jurassic Park.

That is a thing. Somebody they switched to see who gets to be Alan Grant every night. Somebody goes around, tasing him, and they sit in cages going, RAAA! I would never get tired of hearing about furries. No, I know. So some of them are so fucked up. I would never get tired of hearing about furries. No, I know. So some of them are so fucked up.

Mr. Met, did you, you're not into any tracking any furry behavior online, are you? No. Mr. Metaker just did a video series on some leaked chat logs where some furries were talking about abusing animals. Very, very sick. Oh, really? Very, very sick. Yeah. really? Very, very sick.

And there's a lot of people defending them. And like sexually or like serial killer way. I guess I mean, either way, but serial killer way. Yeah. Wait, what are you talking about? You're talking about animals? Yeah, I mean like torturing animals or like, well, I mean, yeah. Fucking doggy.

Yeah, no dogs, absolutely serial killer behavior. Yeah. Yeah. Man, like the idea of consent, the idea of nonverbal consent is something that they've allowed themselves to believe in to get away with the tragedies, which is a major problem. Yes, it is. It's a sick video series that Metacrupe put out, but I couldn't look away from it. So here's, sir, I hope we get some updates from the furry house. Sure.

Maybe a live webcam on going investigation. I'll say, I have webcams, I'll send them one. Yeah, I'd like to know what kind of furries come in too, if Captain Jack has, maybe you can tag them. Hold on, let me talk to them like in the wild.ries come in too, if Captain Jackass is here. Maybe you can tag them. Hold on, let me talk to them like in the wild. Exactly, let me talk to Captain Jackass. Hey, Captain Jackass, are you here? Like furries where they bring a road kill

back to their houses, what? Fuck it, yeah. What? It's so much work. It's a lot of work. Bringing back a half a dead deer carcass. Bringing back to you, you need thatcass. Bringing back to you. You need that to get off?

Sure it, man. Maybe we really haven't invented everything. It's an Andla. North American Man Dog Love Association. That's what they call the house. For real? Yeah, man, like watching these, getting into this whole,

this, the sick side of the furry community, you get, you read some of the worst arguments you've ever heard in your life about, like, well, we eat animals, how come we can't fuck them? Because it's not that you can't, it's just that you're a serial killer. And we really, like, we're worried about you. We're worried about being a, you being in society

because your man you fact, you have shit in your head. It doesn't jive with reality and lets you get away with despicable shit. Other despicable shit. Yeah, I don't really, I don't get that bent out of shape about the animal thing, but the way you're explaining it makes me very worried about what you're going to do to human beings,

which I am fucking concerned about. Very, right. Dick, it's crazy how the furry community, to do to human beings, which I am fucking concerned about. Very. Right. Dick, it's crazy how the furry community, they'll stick up for each other, defend each other and find a way to hide all the shit they get away with is disgusting. Yeah. Yeah. It's bad.

Bonitis was on Rakita's stream. You're Nick Rakita, by the way, has over 10,000 subscribers now. Good God. Very impressive. No shit. He's turning into a monster. Well, he's really good. He's turning into a rock star.

Nick Rikita. That's what we're going to call him from. Yeah, there you go. Nick Rikity Rackets. He's like, they bring him on the kill stream. He's like the Dominic Barbarra of the kill stream. It's a pretty funny thing. He doesn't need legal advice.

He was hosting a debate. And he's just slamming down fireball shots and hosting a comics gate debate last week is great. He looks good, he's got a new haircut. You know, when a man gets successful and he's got that look, a success on him. The opposite happened to me. This show took off and I turned into a fucking gross fat slob.

What are you know? The head, the size of Barry Bonds. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Anyway, Captain Jackass, do you have any more information on this furry house? No, he didn't leave many comments behind. I was gonna message him maybe after the show and see if there's more we can work out with him.

He, every, every couple weeks he'll post something in there, but that's the first he ever brought up furries or anything like that. It's hard to type without opposable thumbs. That does big mits. That does big mascot pants. I want to know more. Walking across a fucking piano.

Have you wants to call it? I'd love to get some stories of furry degeneracy. Why not? Yeah, when I do this story, I knew I'd be a good callin', but I fucked up, I should probably should have messaged him. No, no, you didn't, you didn't fuck up. You're just getting the story. News comes that you hide and fast, and you got to deal with it and get it out to the people as quickly as possible. Yeah. There's time to follow. Yeah. Anything make you rage lately, buddy? Yeah, the urinals at work, people

are dismissing the urinal. There's puddles of piss right underneath the urinal. I can't believe it. It makes no sense to me. In my head, I don't understand how that happens. Are people not standing close enough? Are people not standing close enough? And then like the stream dies down and they're pissing on the like the edge of it and it drips off onto the floor?

I guess, but you'd have to be like a fucking foot away in order for that to happen. I just don't. If you get close, if you get too close, does the urinal splash back on you? That could happen, but it wouldn't be enough for a puddle. It might, if anything, you know, like get on your shirt or they have, you know, there's the little safeguard

at the bottom to prevent this to happen. I just mean certain urinals are fucked up. And if you get too close, it'll splash on you so people stand too far away. And then, no, this is what you got to do. You know, I'm saying, this is my, I'm going to employ my, my Shylock Holmes over here. Fuck, I was just going to pull that reference.

You need to make a, you need to make one of those flyers where it has like a tear off phone number at the bottom. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. And it's inviting people to join in the competitive distance pissing league. Oh, that's good. Circus Pisserie. You say, hi, I'm Captain Jackass. I'm starting the competitive distance pissing league. Oh, that's good. That's circus pissery.

You say, hi, I'm Captain Jackass. I'm starting the competitive distance pissing league where we stand way far away from urinal and try to piss into it. Please, big cash prizes underline a couple of time. Please contact me for more information than whoever calls you is the one doing it. That's how you catch a classic honey pot sting Sean

Well, I mean the floor I'm I in the building a work at it's like a clear you know Every other I go to the 7 4 because there's no men at work on there I can tell and I'm on the 8th floor and a bunch of Guys hang out in there. It's like a club people talking there. It's bullshit Water cooler. I'm gonna go vape and have a piss. Yeah, come join me for either one. Right. All right, buddy. Good, excellent news as always. Don't have a full news. Appreciate it.

Thank you. See you later. Bonitis, who is not one of the bad for his sent, sent us this. That's a hyena. Yeah, that's a picture of me duplicating that Paul Ryan, that's a big one. I'm gonna go back to the first one. I'm gonna go back to the first one. I'm gonna go back to the first one. uh, Bonitis, who is not one of the bad three sent sent us this. That's a hyena. Yeah, that's a picture of me duplicating that Paul Ryan, that stupid Paul Ryan working out pose.

I posted that a while ago. I don't know why I did that. That's cool. Oh shit. That means it's that that means it's time I can wear my pumpkin hat again. I make America great pumpkin hat. Yeah. That's right. You got that a year ago. Yeah great pumpkin hat. Yeah. That's right.

You got that in America. Yeah, I did. What? It's October. It's Halloween. Can you bring that hat down, please? All right. Let's listen to some boys and males.

Thank you, Bonitas. Yeah. Bonitas is on Nick's dream talking about the furry community, defending sick actions of some of its members, and how he doesn't personally do it, and he's drawing at the same time, but his hand is all chewed up from a dog attack. It's like listening to him explain a little bit. Like an actual dog attack?

Yeah, like so. You did that dog in a taggy because you were trying to rape it, did it? Yeah. He's like, no, I was separating dogs at the dog park because over and over, I'm trying to explain this fucking story. It's so funny. All right.

Oh, thank you. We're back in business, Sean. Let me go. Look at that. Oh, look at that. Welcome to Kavanaugh's Trick or Treat. It's all tricks, all tricks on this Supreme Court. No, no, trick-or-treat. Too fucking bad, bitch.

Kavanaugh is going to slip on that robe and plan paranoid. It's going to evaporate into a million pieces like Infinity War. That's it, bitch. They're going to be wishing for the days that the debate was if teachers should carry guns in class. After Kavanaugh gets done with these people. Comedy podcasts, please, gentlemen. Okay, let's do some voicemails. Hey, Dick, it's the cynic from Santa Cruz. It makes me a rage is Monday through Thursday. I've called about this a couple times, and then the grind never lights up. On day through Thursday is a day that I have barred myself from drinking because drinking is now the only thing that brings me joy on the weekend to save me from the

monotony of everyday life. I do the same things every week. I consume the same things every week I consume the same music the same TV shows when I'm out of some stupid retarded news show that I'm on the phone is over and the only thing I like to do on Fridays and Saturdays and Sundays is to drink and tell myself I'm going to play those video games I was going to get to and then not and Too much work. Some friends. Yeah, while you get older those friends go away Yeah, eventually you're drinking alone and barring yourself drinking Monday through Thursday So that you don't feel as bad drinking as much as a fully functioning I don't have that physical addiction, you know, it's all cherry. It's all good, but man, if I don't have a beer in the

on Saturday night, my whole existence working Monday through Thursday feels totally fucking pointless. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. The worst part of the not drinking is that it makes the time that you're not drinking seem like it's ten times as long as it is. You can clock. If you're drinking, you clock out of five like it's 10 times as long as it is. You can clock. If you're drinking you clock out of five. That's the end of that's the end of the day. That's the

last part of the day you remember other than a couple of timeskids. But if you're not drinking, it's like, what time is it about seven in the morning? No, it's six thirty. Yeah. Oh boy. All right. I don't know. Maybe I'll take up butterscullabishures or something. It's impossible to get a lot of hours a day. You have to be with yourself for a long time that day. Yeah. Really terrible. And nothing is there to watch on TV

because it's all unwatchable if you're not at least a little buzz. Yeah. Hey, Dick, you want to know makes me rage. Yeah. Is when you have a hangover before you even go to bed. Oh, that's such bullshit. That's a hangover that doesn't go to weigh in.

Yeah, have those. Go fuck yourself. You drink too early. Yes. I said to kiss for you, buddy. Thank you, buddy. You drink too early and then you get held away from your booze.

Oh my God, damn it. I need to get in. Come on. Socks. I needed an emergency. Hi, is this the liquor consortium? I need a drone delivery of a six packs prontel. I did not plan this correctly.

I let somebody talk me into two gin and tonics at Hooters. And now I am far away. I thought this venue would have liquor. They do not. I need a delivery of a six pack ASAP or I'm gonna be hung over at 5.30 pm. Yeah, that is, that's only happened to me a couple of times, but that does, that fucking sucks.

So fucking annoying. Yeah. You have to coast through like a zombie. Snow one feels bad for you. Yeah. No one's like daylight. It's early evening and you're like fucking so run down and you can't get redrunk to get rid of it.

It's just this weird drunk veneer. Like it's the difference between a wood veneer and a real wood is the drunk that you get after the daytime hangover. What a bunch of bullshit that is. Hey, I'm the business man and the wife, get her and whatever, but I'm serious suggestion for the big show shop.

I'm pretty sure if you have a Sean body pillow, which is so like hot case, and have the nice side of him with a regular shirt and have the knotty side with him and the knee neck. Anyway, that's it. Do you think about that? You know, the body pillow? You know those big body pillows that you guys have sex with.

Yeah. Or cuddle with. You could just sometimes more cum. Some guys just want, yeah. Just have a pal there to sleep with. There you go. A big deal. Would you be open to that? Well, just have to talk some licensing percentages. Okay, maybe I'll put a Juan there. Look alike. Very good. Very good. We're going to be talking about license.

That's good. All right, I'm done. See you everybody. Merry Christmas. Happy start of the Christmas season. Yep. See you next Tuesday. Don't get too close to your relatives.