The Dick Show - Episode 125 - Dick on Lengthening

Episode Date: October 23, 2018

The greatest bonus episode in history fall out, the magical experience of being a best man with another man, a guy who got leg lengthening surgery calls in, illegal lotteries and the christian caliphate, Waut3rGate3: Cuck With a Vengeance, cancer kills your bank account, Crippled Jesus crashes a domestic violence seminar, eating three breakfasts while camping, men and women: frenemies with no benefits, literal kid prisons for an accidental suicide victim, Sean's advice for NEETs, and Asterios gets a settlement offer from Maddox; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I really can't focus at all. No? No. I don't know what's become of me. Let's just, let's start the show and hopefully the show will bring it into focus. Yeah. I can, sometimes I can do that. I can't.

I can't focus at all. I don't know what it is. It's something, I think the bonus episode just broke my brain. I think it blew us all out. It really did. Yeah, it was. I've never had to recover from doing a show like that. I was thinking that that's funny.

You feel the same way. Yeah. Yeah, it was like, it was the bonus episode. Yeah, it was all right. Here's a, let's start the show. This is gonna be, this is gonna sound a little different because it's a Halloween spook theme.

Halloween, Halloween or steam coming at you. Good evening, Dick. Halloween, Halloween, or steam coming at you. With the evening dig. Oh, ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Five-year-hosts take masters in AK, the $20 million man, the unsuable America's wingman, recently voted America's best Mexican. With me is always a shun, audio engineer. Hello. Hey, what's up buddy? That was a remix from Water Boy,

that he's been pestering me about for two years, I think. Oh, you gotta play this. You gotta play this. That was cool. That was cool. But in the last minute, he got a stereo to give us some gruesome, gruesome groaning. Oh, I thought he took that from an episode or something.

I don't think so. He's usually barely upright by the end of an episode, so there should be a lot of moaning and groaning. Oh, man, I've missed him. And I echo laughter. Me too. I really miss him. Me too.

Do you know everybody, this episode is going to be a little weird because we've blown ourselves out. We blew ourselves out on Thursday. We really did. I know. We really did. On Thursday, the bonus episode, bonus episode 30 that we launched this weekend was us going over the Dr. Nurse slash Maddox sexting and miscellaneous leaks, shall we say?

Yes. Sean, myself, Peach, Madcucks, came out of retirement, coach, Dami Pesos, who's on the group was perfect. Oh my God. Never have I experienced such intense comedies. Thank you, Jimmy. Yeah. Yeah. It was like Jamie. Yeah, yeah.

It was like a machine gun of jokes. That we all thought were the funniest things we've ever heard every time. Really, I was horse from laughing. Like I had a headache from laughing so much at the end of that show. And I was sort, my voice was out the next day. Yeah. Just from screaming laughing at this NPC sexting routine,

Maddox was laying on Dr. Nair's about spreading his hips, walking in like he's a walking in like that primus music video at the plastic face. You know, when I was big brown beaver and touching the neck, touching the neck, grabbing the hair and touching the hair, touching the neck, touching the booby, locking the arms down with the thrusting. Yeah, with the thrusting. We need to GTFO. I'm gonna start again. I know, I know. I need two episodes to get it out of my system. Well, that's what I said. I said, it's just gonna be like a part one, but I don't know. We blew all the way through it. I just get like, it's the getting out of my system. Well, that's what I said. I said, is this gonna be like a part one? But I don't know, we blew all the way through it. I just can't, like, it's the,

when you sent it to me immediately after the episode. Fucking weenies. I ate his golemy when camping. So I had to, I had to rely on that shotty service to get the episode from you and post it. I got it from you and I always give it a little spot check to see if like, see if you've sent me like a Recording of your laundry for some reason

I just well again, I'm skipping the setter safe then sorry. Yeah, I started in the middle just to make sure it's not like Just like a woman screaming and begging you to letter out of your basement I guess you're on you sent me the wrong audio again. Yeah, yeah, sorry And we we sat I sat there in the car by myself for 15 minutes listening to God abidges. Yeah, God abid. Garbage is. Oh yeah. I remember, Ains goes walk to the bathroom. Like you got to get in here. Get in here. Listen to the God abidges. You got to relive it and hear the whole thing. It's funnier than what it happened. It is. It really is. It's the best thing that ever happened. It's so weird how those are things that you have put out into the universe. You're like, I would get, I would pay a lot of money for text messages, for sexting messages.

For Maddox. Yeah. And low and deep. I get them and they're exactly what I wanted. The great magnet provides the two hornet to pounds. I'd be too horny to pounce. I'd be so horny I'd have to pounce. Oh my God, rare! Somebody made a gif of you, pouncing like a cat. Oh yeah. You're making fun of them. Wah, wah, wah.

Yeah. Oh God. It's got re-god damn dickulous. Ha ha ha ha. It was so, it was so insane. I know I'm feeling, I'm sitting here kind of reliving it and I'm like, oh yeah, we're doing a show right now.

I mean, but it really is, like it was our, we're reliving our high school glory days. That was my four touchdowns in one game. Was Maddox is spreading the hips and, and pouncing and the pouncing. There's just, it's the gift that keeps on giving. It's just that verbiage. It's just so...

Oh, man, we went out after, after the show, we went, everyone was high on life. Yeah. You know, we went out after... Go with coach and, yeah. Coach, fucking coach, what a goofball. Yeah. We get out.

You know, coach had a kid two months ago. Yeah. I had him on the show And I wanted him to try to talk me out of fatherhood because all these Chad dads are trying to trying to rope a dope me into Okay, what did I miss what Chad dad? Chad dad. I missed that there's a meme that's the Chad blank and the Virgin blank And you want to be the Chad and not the Virgin so okay? Rikitas is the Chad dad either Either Nick Riketus to Doug Tenapple, one of those Chad dad and the Virgin Bachelor. And I thought, well, I mean, I know marketing,

I know that it's just a slogan and that the pithiness and the rymory of the memory of the slogan is what's effective. And I looked at the Chad dad thing and the Virgin Bachelor and I think while I feel it working on my brain, you fuck you guys. You just fucked me out of this. So I wanted coach to come in and tell me all about how it sucks to be a dad.

Yeah. Because he just had a kid. And what does he do? He says, oh, it's great. My wife does all the work. Pretty much what he does, right? That's what he's saying. We're going out and he's being Mr. Cool guy

when we go out after the show, right? And he goes, well, my wife says, I told my wife, I'd be back at midnight, little does she know. That means I can be back at one, right? Fellas? This is like, okay. Okay, I guess that's something that you might know

in the rest of us could just, you know, I don't know. Whatever. I mean, okay, can we go get a drink then? Yeah, I'm just like, yeah, well, you know, but what the wife doesn't know, right? Fellas, let's go get a drink then? Yeah, I'm just like, yeah, well, you know, what the wife doesn't know, right? Fellas, let's go grab a couple of them. Hi, it's a deal with him. So we go, we go down to the bar,

like 1130 rolls around, and he gets a text, coach gets a text, he stands bolt upright, like he's just been woken out of a bad dream and goes, I need to go. Yeah. I need to go. I have to go. What are you talking about?

What happened to one o'clock? Mr. Big Shot. Well, he's looking around. Bitch. She's not going to know of it, right? I'm going to come home at once. You won't know. I got to go.

I said, coach, let's just finish these drinks. No, no. have a seat. Let's fit in. And I can see him thinking in his mind, if I sit down, this motherfucker is gonna trick me into staying somehow. So he won't even sit down. He goes,

I can't, I gotta go. I'm going, I'm gonna Uber back to your, I'm gonna Uber back up to Hill to your house, and I'm gonna go. Well, hey, let me just finish my pint. I don't give you right back up. I'll give you Uber back to your, I'm going to Uber back up to Hill to your house and I'm going to go. Well, hey, let me just finish my pint. I'll give you a ride back up. I'll give you a ride back to him. I'm worried about it.

Well, buddy, buddy, come on, buddy, sit down. And of course, I had no intention of doing that. So he leaves, takes an Uber, I assume, to the back to like the 20 minutes. He calls me an a frantic mess saying that no one's answering at my house. It's because like, hey, I fucked up. I locked my keys in your car and no one's answering the door. Is there anything you can do?

But there's no one home at your house, right? Oh, 80's girls home sleeping because she has to get up early for school. What do you mean no one's answering? This isn't a blockbuster. Like there's no, this isn't a hotel. Like there's not a manager on staff to meet your concerns, you fucking dick. That's my girlfriend is sleeping

because she has to get up in the no one's answering. What do you mean no one? Didn't we just spend two hours making fun of a guy who won't use, who won't speak impersonalizations? Like you know, you know damn well who won't speak in personalizations, like, you know, you know, damn well, who won't answer. You fuck, who had to, who thought, who was swinging their ball, who's walking around like their pants were carrying something that they apparently weren't with your 12 o'clock perfume.

You fuck. Uh, so she finally throws some clothes on and answers answers answers the door to him pounding turn bang You know try to get in at midnight Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding like frantically trying to wake her up to get in the house Come what does it matter with you? What does it become of you? Well, he's was your child about to Was he about to like go with her or something, you had to get home quickly and put a stop to it? Well, you're a father, you'd find out.

Yeah. The center of nice, he coached center of nice bouquet of flowers the next day to apologize for slamming on the door. Oh, it's all right. Yeah, I did think it was funny. It was like Cinderella. So you did. When he had to scoot out of the, he just stood up. I gotta Is that right? Yeah, I did think it was funny. It was like Cinderella. So you did. When he had to scoot out of the, he just stood up.

I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. And the ran and left his shoe behind, left a giant Puma, size 14 Puma that I spent the rest of the weekend trying to match up. Oh God. It had a typical IT pattern wear on it. Oh, okay. Which in K, I mean, many stains across the time.

Got it. Let's see here. What else do I have to talk about? So the bonus episode, go to patreon.com slash the Dixho. Do it. Do it. If we're not at 5,000 Patreon's after that one, then I just don't know what the secret is.

I don't know, but I'm thinking a little shell shocked from it. I definitely. In a good way. Yeah. There was, of course, the good kind of shell shock. The water boy leaks, happened right on top of that. Water boy dumped out months, months of chat logs with the guy. This I know nothing about.

Yeah, because he sent them to Asterios to help with his case, I think. Oh. Good, good. Yeah. Speaking of Astero's, he Maddox offered him a settlement, which we talked about briefly, but I have the audio. You want to watch it later. The audio of what? Astero's talking about it because you won't call in to tell everything settled, but I

do have the audio of him talking about this settlement. I'd love to hear that. Yeah, it's pretty interesting. Sure. Let's see what else I get to. Now'd love to hear that. Yeah, it's pretty interesting. Sure. Ah, let's see what else I get to use. Now you get to, you get to testify soon. You know what? No, no.

Oh, you're not gonna believe this. I thought this was, this was gonna be a victory week for me. Oh, like no other post-poned again. The guy filed a continuance. I assume because he realizes how devastated he's going to be when the likes of me takes the stand. Yeah. Post-poned.

I can add another fucking continuance. Man, the legal system is not the friend of the impatient man. It is not your, is not the friend of the impatient man. It is not speedy. It is not speedy. Everything is a blue ball. I don't know when that's gonna be. God damn. I don't know when that's gonna be,

but I was having the time of my life practicing. I was gonna meet with Keon and he was gonna, you know, help me out and see what, because he's a, he's a big, court guy, trial guy. He knows everything they're gonna do. Me and 80's, go, we're going through, like what do you think they're gonna, what do you think they're gonna try to bust me on?

Probably drinking, they're probably gonna try to bust me on drinking, they're probably gonna, try to bust me on like exaggerating shit on the show. We're like a meat, body language, posture, mannerisms, things like that. I'm gonna wear a suit and I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna wear a suit and I'm gonna wear that shirt. I'm gonna fuck off on my test to get

sure that you can get it shopped out to touch. I'm gonna sew the sleeves of my jacket to the rest of the jacket when I go in there. So I don't make any weird movements. Yeah, there could be, you know, termed as aggressive. And I'm gonna put a bunch of Botox and my eyebrows. So they just stay like this. No, like

yeah, it's a continuance. So I hate to disappoint you, Sean, but listen to the boxes. What a cock tease. Yeah, let me see. Tell you what makes me rage this week. Let me see, tell you what makes me rage this week. Bugsavers are making me rage this week. Bugsavers? What's a bug saver? Yeah, you know, you've heard of bugs, right? Yeah, which call around and a bug. Which kind of fuck up your day?

Little insects and stuff like that. The people who have to take bugs and put them outside for some reason. Like they are somehow Gandhi because they went through a bunch of pain in the ass to take a bug and put it outside where it will resume its hellish life of feast or famine and evading predators in an endless cycle of starvation and mating, from which there is no escape. Yeah.

Yeah, when I find a bug, like the easiest thing for me to do is just smash it with a clean axe. I'm actually with a clean axe. A potato bug, the size of a chihuahua. Oh, fuck, those things, man. Right? No, fucking way, do I want that in my property?

No, fuck no. Consuelo was over. I think she might have brought it in, by the way do I want that in my property? No, fuck no, the Consuelo was over. I think she might have brought it in by the way. Oh really? As some kind of elaborate con to make sure that she's always needed. Some of the most hideous insects. Yes, there are. I think they're called a Jerusalem cricket.

Is that true or is that an anti-Semitic? No, for real. Jerusalem, right? Right, right. See, the teacher says yes. Why, they called that. I don't know. Oh, man. Consuelo cleans the house. It's like a Palestinian smear campaign.

I hear a bunch of screaming. I walk in and there's this bug, this, you know, bug the size of a battle bot crawling across. They're fucking hideous. It's too big to smush. What do you know how juicy those things are? Yeah, I'm like, ah, fuck. All right. I'm gonna need a I'm gonna need some kind like a like a cookie sheet to smush this thing. Yeah, I go to smush it and Consuelo who you know has She's the cancer has returned. She's going back in for the cancer treatment. Oh, yeah She goes I grabbed I grab a little a little tupperware from her.

I say, all right, well, time to smash this bug. She goes, I know. I know, I know, no. I'm like, what do you mean? No, this motherfucker's trespassing. Yeah, that's a crime. This bug is guilty, right? The old beavers and butt head roots.

Ignorance is not an excuse. Excuse, I'm gonna smash the fuck out of this. Yeah. What do you mean? Throw it back in the yard? You go, it's gonna come back in. Oh no, it's part of, and she gives me this whole thing about being part of the earth and all this shit.

And like, well, what? I hope you don't, you're not fixing your cancer with that attitude, are you? I know. Those guys at, yeah. I got another bone to pick with her as well. Oh no. She duped me into it.

What'd she do? Did she throw it outside? I threw it outside. And that wasn't good enough either. I capped it, slid a piece of paper under it, and then flinged it outside, and she goes, oh, you probably killed it. No.

What are you going to do? Give it a little army man parachute. What do you want me to go build a home ad of it with Lincoln logs and set up the potato, the potato bug sanctuary for missing potato bugs. That motherfucker, I'll have, I got news for you. That motherfucker eats other bugs. You have just cursed many bugs one a day to death by saving this one bug.

It was, it was the, this was an African warlord in the bug community. That's right. That I've just unleashed back into my domain. Well, I hate those fucking things. This is what, you know, the crown wear is heavy in the bug saving world. Is what I'm saying.

Mm-hmm. She duped me into giving her a ride after when she was done. She doesn't drive herself around. Yeah, I don't know why. Has she ever known her too? No, no, she doesn't have a license. I pick her up from this,

I pick her up from subway and then take her back to the subway. Oh, I see. So she goes, oh, I pick her up and I'm talking to her about the chemo, right? Yeah. I can't see like, oh man, yeah, this is how you feeling. Yeah, that's a bummer. Oh, god, that sucks.

She goes, yeah, is it not,'re feeling. Yeah, it's a bummer, oh god. That sucks, and she goes, yeah. If it's not too much to ask, can you drive me to, can you drive me like, to, it's basically like 20 minutes away. Can you drive me there to there after, because she's talking about her appointments for chemo, right? She's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you drive me later to Pasadena when I'm done

and so I don't have to take the subway because I'm worried I won't get there until too late and like, yeah, yeah, yeah, can you drive me later to Pasadena when I'm done? And so I don't have to take the subway because I'm worried I won't get there until too late. And like, oh, of course, of course, of course, of course. How could I say no to that, Sean? How, of course, I've got, you know, something tells me this story is going to lead into you being an asshole. I'm sorry. A little inconvenience for me to drive a little bit out of my way, but we're talking about the cancer, right? Who would be, how could I, how could I be so callous to just drop you off at the bus

stop? How could I refuse? I'm going to you. I'm going to you. I'm going to you. I'm going to you. I'm going to you. This is the day of my daughter's wedding.

But then she pulled the potato bug shit. So they're already thinking to drop her off a block from the place. I read that immediately. You get to walk the last block. We get going to what I think is to the cancer treatment, the cancer doctor, or zoom in down the freeway. And she goes, oh, I told you, not much traffic, not much traffic.

Yeah, well, Consuelo, I guess maybe you didn't look at the other side of the freeway, where it's bumper to bumper traffic, like, because I'm not going back. Going back. This after you. I'm not going back home in a magical mystery bus, like the beginning of Fortnite,

where I'm fucking flying in and then diving down to my fucking house. I eventually I have to turn this magical, this fucking personalized Uber of yours around and go home, but Sean, it's for the cancer. You understand, it's for the, I'll do anything for the, you know, for the cancer. It's by the grace of God, there go, there but be go eye however the saying goes. Yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, if but for the grace of the magnet you get,

and that's just can't, yes, we have these things. Of course, of course, if it's for the chemo. So I say, well, you have, do you have the address? You go, no, no, no, no, it's, you just need to drop me off here. Just drop me off at this corner. All right, well, that's a little, that's a lot. I could punch the address.

I mean, we got all these computers and things, but you know, all the, the kids, the kids, don't worry about it, the kids. I said, okay, actually, I have to get gas. So maybe I see a gas station, we're kind of around the place. Maybe can I drop you off there? She goes, oh yeah, that's actually right across the street.

So, oh, that's across the street. Because the shopping, you mean it's, is it in the shopping center? She goes, I know, it's Ross. And what? I'm sorry, you're getting cancer medicine at Ross? She goes, no, I have to buy a birthday present for my friend's birthday party tonight.

I didn't want to, if I was taking the train, I might have been late. Oh, I thought you were just saying she was going to a doctor's appointment. She was talking about the chemotherapy and then dropped in, A, will you take me to this place after work? That's assuming Sean,

because I always like to do the right thing. That's funny. Here's what makes me a rage, but did you know that within two years, all cancer people, wait, wait, wait, let me read this again. Within two years, most people diagnosed with cancer will have spent all their money on cancer medicine. Whether they survive it or not, within two years, I think, across nine. Yeah, individuals average.

It doesn't surprise me. And it's so fucked. Fifth, 54% excuse me. At year two, 42% will have depleted their entire life assets with higher adjusted odds. I thought that the whole point, losses lost it at year four, we're $92,000. I thought the whole point of insurance was for the big life ending catastrophes like this,

turns out your money's gone either way. Either fucking way. It is fucking fraud. It should be, they are all fucking criminals. That the insurance industry is fucking fraud. It should be, they are all fucking criminals. That the insurance industry is fucking the most aspicable industry there is. They, it's the only business that thinks that it should take no inherent risk.

Yeah. I can't believe that, because I'm watching it happen. Like it's, I, no, I do it. I'm looking, it's like, here, you, you're too fucking tired. How can you possibly make the money for to cover this constant deluge of bills? No, go fund me in the world. I don't care how big your tits are.

No go fund me in the world is gonna make up the discrepancy here two years. So if you, I mean now, I'm legit. I've never been afraid of cancer in my life. Yeah. Because I figure, ah, you're just dead or you're not. You're the dead, it's a roll of dice, right? You're dead or you're not.

Even if you're not, you're fucking broke. Yeah. 100 grand, a hundred grand. What is it for then? What is all this stupid insurance for? I don't know anymore. What is it for? I don't know anymore. Half of people.

It covers half of your regular doctor visits. I have no idea what it covers. My dad just, my dad got his knee replaced. Oh, did he? Yeah, like two months ago. Right after we went fishing, I got hit in the face with that fish. My dad got his knee replaced.

Motherfucker's up walking around. Well, that's a new day. Yeah, well, that's the new knee replacements. They're supposed to be great. He's bouncing around like Frank Sinatra when he gets that knee replaced. Yeah. But he said it took him like a month and a half

just to get approved for the procedure to go through. They make you, like, I'm at the pharmacy fucking a lot. And I see people, it seems to be about, I'd say 80% are fighting with the pharmacist are going back and forth. They say, well, your insurance only covers blah, blah, blah, blah. See, your copay is $400. And he's, no, but it's like, you have to call, you have to call your insurance company to,

oh, it's, I don't even know. I don't even have anything to say. I'm not sure. 40% more and more people. They're entire life savings. Yeah. Everything. I can only think that the strain in and out of you at one end, the fucking government

is out the other side. I can only think this is like some kind of a, you know, of a collusion at the highest level. I mean, between them and government, and it's just, yeah. So that's what, it's absolutely despicable. That's what, so that's what made me raise this week. Life coach turning into a pumpkin at 11.30. Yeah. And bug savers.

Well, that's a close second. Bug savers. Strong number two. I got smashed. Just smashed. Now I look back and I'm like, you know what? I really just, I really wish I was just smushed I'm gonna go find that motherfucker. I'm gonna put on my predator vision my night vision and go outside and look for a

Us potato bug Size of my fist just so I could squish it. God those damn things Here's another thing I got Makes me raise The lottery the lottery yeah, yeah, yeah, that's big lottery the lottery. The lottery. Yeah. Yeah. And that's a big lottery the way. Yeah. Yeah.

We can all understand the lottery. Mm-hmm. Think rich people, poor people, stupid people, Yeah. People who climb on locks, and rocks. Everybody can get off. On that week of fantasy of having that lottery ticket in your pocket,

right? And imagining how you never have to see anybody in your life ever again. Trade a minute. You can hire a look alike to just look like you and then go live the rest of your life on a super volcano or... I would just buy an island and just have it surrounded by armed guard boats, like just gun boats. Anybody who came even close. if you can see it,

you shoot them. Yeah. We all would. Yeah. We all would. And every time it comes up, every time the big one comes up, I get so pissed off that we can't have our own lotteries. Okay.

And I don't, I think this might be only me that gets pissed off with this. Our own lotteries. Yeah. Like private, private lottery. Okay. You know, it's illegal. Can't have your own lottery. Yeah, well, you know that, right?

Well, they want their, yeah. Only, only the government is allowed to do that. Yeah, right. Well, because it's a moron tax. Yeah, yeah. So you think, oh, yeah, yeah, sure. Give the morons, give the morons all the money they need. All we need to do is come up with a lot, little lottery.

You guys buy enough tickets. We'll give you a free charger. How about that? Somebody wins a pickup truck with super big wheels on it. Let's get all that welfare back going the other way. Right? Illegal. Illegal.

Paces me off every time. Every fucking time I brought some stats in for you. All right. If you're interested in that. Oh, yes. You know me, I like stats. Yeah. About two thirds of Americans gamble. Yeah.

Last year they spent 73 billion on lottery tickets. Wow. 73 billion dollars. Yeah. You know what cash assistance on welfare is, by the way, $182 billion. So about half of that goes right back into the lottery. Ah.

Right. Well, is it the, you know what I mean? It's, it's a lot of the same people playing on the lottery. All right, you motherfuckers. So we gave you the money. Now we've got to build this complicated system to get the money back so we can give half of it again to schools that it was supposed to go to in the first place. You stupid motherfuckers.

That's why I average that's $206 a person. Then I went, oh my god. I continued researching for a more specific rigs. I wanted to find out who's actually playing the lottery. Well, that's, yeah, that's what I want to know too. I mean, I know what I see in Southern California. I'll kick in 20 bucks when it hits the 500 million mark, because you got to be in it. Right. But playing it, playing it otherwise is something that a moron does.

Yeah. Right? Yes. Even though I'll give you that it's cheaper than it otherwise. No. Is something that a moron does. Yeah. Right? Yes. Even though I'll give you that, it's cheaper than a movie. Still. Yeah. Quite large. They spend, here we go, here we go.

But a movie gives you something for your money. Yeah, out anger at being robbed. Yeah. Okay. But, you know, at least it employs people. Let's go with that. Yeah. Survey releases, 28% of Americans who earn less than $30,000 a year play the lottery at least once a week.

They spend $400 a year on tickets. What is that? 1% of their total income goes to... And you can see the psychology behind it. They're completely fucked like in poverty. They're like, it's a Hail Mary. You know, every once a week, it's a Hail Mary. Other, and they see somebody win every week.

That's the worst part. Yeah. Other financial vices of low, no, no, no, restaurant food. Don't worry about that. In addition to blah, blah, blah. Households with incomes of 75K and above spend $100 a year. Yeah, so it goes down every decade.

So like, what is that? Almost half a percent. So that is a quarter of what low income. Yes. Oh, spend. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you know, I know what I see in Southern California, you know, who plays, I'm in the gas station, you know, by gas,

maybe buying a diet coke or two, you know, that's, what do my habit adds up to? Uh, it annoys me. Maybe I shouldn't talk. It annoys me because we are living in a Christian caliphate and nobody's doing anything about it. The whole not being able to show your nipples thing, the whole only the church can use or the government, whatever you want to call it, can use a lottery for fundraising.

All of it, no gambling because it's a sin. All of these things smush together is the Christian caliphate that we're living in that won't let people like me have any fun. That's my problem with it. Yeah, I can't argue any of that. That's funny. I had not really thought about it, you know, who's playing it, how much are they giving back?

And then it ends up, of course it's going to the schools. Yeah, like half, but then that's one percent of that's one percent of the school's budget. But since they don't count on it, they get to do whatever they want with it. So it's just, it's having, it's having a moron tax because they'll just blow it. And this this is and there's nothing more enticing To morons than a lottery. Yeah, right? Because nothing they don't think anything else could possibly change their circumstances as quickly or as You know largely, I guess yeah as as quickly and as severely severely. Yes playing the lottery It was about 1% 1% of school budgets, 1 to 2%. Well, I did some more research. Started back in the 60, illegalization of it started back in the 1600s.

Oh, private lottery? Yeah. Wow, 1600s. In Massachusetts, where a lot of bad ideas come from, you know, which trials, you know, playing them in which trials, you know. Playing them in the World Series, by the way. The doctors. I can't fucking, no, this is gonna be great. Fuck Boston. This is gonna be way different and way uglier than Houston.

Oh, no, I've been, I got, if Boston wins, I'm not gonna fuck them. I'm not gonna be able to handle it. We're gonna break the CERN of brothers out of prison and set them loose on Boston if they win this one. If they take it too far. I just can't, I won't be able to handle it. We're going to break the CERNA of brothers out of prison and set them loose on Boston if they win this one. If they take it too far. I just can't.

I won't be able to handle it. Because all the Houston coming together, shit, all the flood garbage that was plastered all over the Super Bowl last year made the whole experience gross for me. It's about time we get back to some good old fashioned. Everyone from your town is dumb and fat and probably racist. And now that's okay. You know any articles have been written on that? On Boston being the most racist sports city in the US? No.

A lot of players comment that kind of stuff. They said, man, I've never heard anything like I have in Boston. Oh, yeah. Not saying all. Just a it has a well-documented history of players saying that Races not a not a not a great place to play even if you're on a Boston team Well, whatever they're good. We can rub that in their face I don't you know probably get a bunch of fucking phone calls from that but

Let me see if I had anything else about the lottery. I hope I just went man. When Boston started winning everything in sight, football hockey, baseball, you know, the back in, you know, 10, 15 years ago, they started to really, really tear it up. Mm-hmm. I just, I just had no idea that I feel like I owe an apology to every New York Yankees fan. Like everything there, there's nothing as obnoxious as a Boston fan. That's why they can't win. No, it's not gonna be like handle it. Because if we win, we just won't care about it. It's like, yeah, well, you know.

Oh, care about it. Yeah. For a couple of weeks. Well, I'm right. I don't know. Oh, let me see who I got on here. Now, fuck Boston's wrong here. Hey, crippled Jesus, you around.

Hey, what's up, buddy? Hey, what's up, man? Would you have a, you have a, the tail for us, I hear. Did you run anybody over? Oh, yeah, yeah. But before, before I get into it, I just wanted to say that I wanted to give this, dedicate this story to a stereos

because I was a podcast and I hope you're doing well. Oh yeah, okay. Well, if you ever calls in again, I'll pass them. I'll give them your message. Yeah, his, um, that podcast he does with the girlfriend is hilarious. What is it? Which one? That one where they take kid questions. Oh, yeah, stereo kills a kid. What was the last one they did? It was all about how to drink alcohol illegally. Okay. Very good. How did they recommend shoving a pot of taping up your ass ass take like a smear off like cheap vodka or cheap booth and just

going to a McDonald's bathroom and just chug it. Are they actually giving advice on how to drink illegally? Yes, okay. Well, great podcast. Go to a McDonald's bathroom and just chug it. Is that? Yeah, are you leaving out all this story? Surracidus that is that a name? Yeah, that's right.

Surracidus. Yeah, Surracidus. Surracidus. What do you got for us, buddy? Oh, well, this happened earlier to me this, I thought it was kind of funny. So I'm at college now and there was a batten going up. And I noticed that it was one of those all black female fraternities. Thanks. Okay. What's that? Did you

pledge? You have to get into the all black female fraternity and mingle a little bit. Do you identify as a black female? It's a little bit. Is it time to apply for college yet? Oh, no, no. Is that it's coming up, right? No, no. No, no.

Or January, because everybody at this point, if you're applying for college coming up, you have to put African American female on your on your, on your application, right? I used a cripple card and that worked pretty good. So is there a box that you check for that? Or do you just send in like, you just write it as what they call it. Other. Okay. Other. Yes, just like Caucasian Pacific Islander, African American Asian. Uh, yeah. They added a box for Elizabeth Warren to extra white, more white than normal.

Yeah. extra white, more white than normal. Yeah. Yeah. Can you fucking believe that? That was bad move on her part. To get a DNA test. I know what you do that. I wouldn't do it.

Why would you? Like you're either proving that you're grossly taking advantage of the system or that Trump, the worst glotar in the world is kind of right. Yeah. Right? How could she have won that? Oh, no, that's what I mean. 132nd Cherokee. Yeah, but you're widened hell like it's still offensive. It's still offensive. What you're doing because you're doing it just to get a leg up on white people because there's this gross. I thought it was less than that. I thought it was like way back in her line.

They thought that she said. Yeah, yeah, it was 132.. I thought it was way back in her line. They thought that she said it was one-third of the second. So even if she was proven right, all she's proven is that there's this gross dysnorthia between white people and people of color, people of anything, or women of people of women. Like you're showing white, so gross, because you had to take the fucking test. How do you not see that?

She's as Native American as I am watching Tonto on TV. You know what I mean? I'm sorry, I didn't know people have it, hard enough already. Yeah. Yeah. Haha. They didn't have a picture.

No, it was a bad call. It shows that it shows what she would do in an election. And it's not making good decisions. White women can get their stories into their brain. Oh, well, we're a part Native American. Okay, bitch, whatever. She would tone that. And it's like, you know, that's a cute story.

And then all that stuff came out that she's written previously, like she made a, she put a recipe in a powwow chow cookbook and signed it Elizabeth Warren, dash Cherokee. Like, are you fucking kidding? I wouldn't even, I say Mexican as a joke on the show. I know. Never do I actually claim it, you idiot. No.

Uh, uh, uh, uh. That was so ridiculous and dumb. Yeah, not smart, not so ridiculous and dumb. Yeah, not smart, not fucking dumb. There's no way she couldn't win that either way. No. And the weirdest part is that I get called racist on a daily and I've never been like that.

So you get called racist on a daily on the daily. What do you say to these people? What do you say? I have to explain to people that I don't like people because I'm wearing a hat. It's pretty ridiculous. What are you saying? What do you get called racist? Because I have my mega hat.

Oh, I see. You roll around in the mega hat. Infiltrating. Black sororities. Do you wear a body cam? Do you have a dash cam on that thing? Yeah, over the shock that a crippled guy wearing a mega hat?

And then they start to ask me questions usually. Okay, so what happened at the all female black sorority that you wanted to, the hero of the body? Well, I went with my buddy and he said, well, listen, they're gonna do the stress cancer thing. It's gonna be like a charity about or whatever. That's like, sure, I'll go in there. What are you a screener? And he said it was gonna be a breast cancer thing

So I went in and I signed up and I got my seat Why I didn't have to sit down, but I found the seat Where'd you find it They make it they make him. They put the scene on. Yeah. All right. Raise my hand and sourdarity because I can't stand. Okay. All right. But I sat down and we were settling in and there were very beautiful women. Yeah. Every lip. Very beautiful black women. And they started to dim the lights. I want to set the mood.

PowerPoint. Set the mood for the exam. I'm sorry. Wait, you're going to a breast cancer TED talk at an all black female sorority just so you can try to get some ass with a mega hat. Is that the, is that the, I thought it would be like,

whoa, you know, check it out. It's okay. That though they dim the lights. But they dim the lights and this PowerPoint come down. And it says domestic violence intervention. And I went to my body. I'm like, what the fuck? You said this was gonna to be like a peaceful

breast cancer. And they are up there showing like displays of what the most violent battered women and stuff. It is dead. You can't do anything. And everybody has straight waves. It is dead. So, but did you think that at a breast cancer awareness, it was going to be like a festive atmosphere? Like, well, he said it was going to be like a balloon thing. Like a what? Well, stood outside. He said it was going gonna be like a what? A balloon release. Oh, you know, that was angry. They take the pink balloons and that would be frustrating. Yeah, and they let them go and then they pop and they plug up like whales blow holes and kill a bunch of marine life.

Is that how it works? Yeah. So, we're able to salvage it. I'm like, man, we got to get out of here. I'm like, we're starting running over people. No, I had to come up with it. Can you make a smooth exit on a motorized wheel chair? Yeah.

Without committing, you know, battery. That's the thing. It's kind of loud. It makes a loud beep noise. Yeah. It makes a loud beep noise. Yeah, I Just trying to imagine like you know you're sitting there like I'm just gonna sneak out the back here Brods talking about domestic violence Yeah, I have to come up with an excuse, right?

So I raised my hand and I said excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but I have to take my medicine. I'm just kidding. Man, you could come up with a new excuse every day. And no one would take you, no one would say you're fucking with him. Excuse me, but I just noticed that I'm in a wheelchair. I've gotta get out of here. It went over pretty well.

How did you get any numbers? No, it was totally bad. It was, they were like, actually showing video the women getting pushed up against walls. Oh, wow. Couldn't do anything, man. College, Sean. Yeah.

That's what they're saying. You're strong to go learn about. I still don't understand what he... You kind of put it like you thought you might be going to a party. Yeah, breast cancer party. Right. A breast cancer. I like how it's telling you. That's what I thought it was.

Who is this friend of yours? And yeah, what he's he's got clear of some bad information. Yeah, the channels are not, are not, you know, openly. We watch that. Fuck man, what's going on? And he's like, Oh, the breast, the name was next week. Oh, the guy, the name was next week. Oh, the guy. He missed it by a week. I guess reading the calendar classes later.

All right, well, is anything make you a rage? This week besides that. This is a lot actually. The thing I have right now is prerequisite classes. Oh, prerequisite classes? Well, yeah, they like chemistry. I take a speech class. Like the idea that you have to be this well-rounded Shakespeare character,

before you can graduate college is fucking ridiculous. Yeah. They want your money. Can you even explain to me what is a speech class? I'm speaking to you guys right now. I'd give you an now. I have. I'd give you an A. I can get an A fast fail.

It's because they want your money, man. They want your money. There's gonna be, it's gonna be five years one day. Look like you're trying to do real shit. Yeah. What are you gonna give a speech? I'm just writing, man.

How many speeches do you have to give in speech class? I, um, I have to take four speeches. I just did one on CT and the next speech, my next speech on the count of eight from meeting. I had to give, I had to give a speech in college, the same class that Cam's talking about. And I think I gave it on how to pick up women. You did.

I remember you talking about that. And do you remember what your professor said? He goes, now I know why men who go to the school shouldn't be picking up women or something like that. It's something like, yeah. Don't pick up women. Yeah, yeah. I don't think anybody who goes to this school

should be giving speeches on how to pick up women. Because I thought the class was so stupid. Like, the class was essentially reading a how to give a speech like bullet point list. Like, you know, those garbage content lists on the top 10 lists on the internet. Why do you got a Caltech? And why should speech, like speech,

that's not why you're there, that's not why anybody's there. No, but I still don't know why they have the class. Oh, I'm just speechless. We're total garbage. I don't know what, it's obviously just to get money. Sure, like this view, what else could it be? It couldn't possibly be anything else because one class isn't gonna teach you.

All the high school kids who went to this podcast right now, liberal arts and just a fancy word garbage. Yeah, garbage. All right. All right, buddy. Get out of here. Thank you. All right. Thanks. See you later, man. Oh, okay. I'm gonna play a song. Good God. That guy's out in the world. Yeah, man. Well, accidentally going to domestic him and his buddy.

Good for him. This is a fight club thing. Going to like domestic violence. Yeah. It's like the equivalent of, you know, hell in a bottom carder who wants to go to like testicular cancer. Yeah.

What do you think they thought? Oh, you kick him out. Go ahead. Yeah, go ahead. Tell him he can't be here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell me, can't be here. Yeah, yeah. Maybe he's learning about how to not know. Maybe they're together. They probably thought him and his friend were dating.

It could be. All right, here is men can get breast cancer. Here's briefcase poppers. This is from Ethan Cantrell. All rise for the honorable judge, Joseph Judith Mathis. Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today for the case of coconut versus Ausman of the case of coconut versus if he's man. Now I like to kick things off with some open statements, so we'll start off with that

tango prosecution. For rappers and in Plano Copa, those women have the lawyers, Jordan Greenfarter, Nick Ricanna, and Keon McGann. So gentlemen, without any further ado, the flirt is yours. You and Screeburger got me daddy for short. I never think I'd see a bitch and step a bag at you this court. One love wasn't enough, when I put that scruff and grub, I'm filming the second time, I call it a legal snuff Ruff, ruff, are the bars that you were here no more

See you lost your little puppy, ain't you too bit? Who are you gonna taste in my dick? Now you're chosen for more? B.S. you mom called, said I taste like George I'm falling up on the court, how's bad as the back? I'm off an open and brief case, click ity-clack I'm gonna see y'all the justice is the rios deserves So, hold it your hand You gotta get some He says he's going to the breast cancer benefit next week, he says. And the chat. Oh, get out there.

Good for you. Ha ha ha. Oh. Now a new year might be starting to find that I've already won. So step up to the plate and get homeschooled song. I'm rolling up on the cord house, baddest step back. I'm popping up in the briefcase, play kitty-clack. I'm gonna seek out the justice

This is the stereo's deserves so on at your head You got the kids so I'm rolling up on the court Yes, bad is the back of a low pin the briefcase Like it ain't clack I'm gonna seek out the justice This is the stereo's deserves so on at your head Do you want to hear the hysterios thing? Yeah, I'm forbidden on your way You want to hear that?

Yeah, right It's me But gonna you end up only trying to help I just think about it You just think about it If you, I'm the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the only one who's the Was that a best enough for your book basis? Because you know, you gotta go best if you are. Even I get that one. The whole thing with the lottery, and I know that you're not going to get it. It's pretty good.

It's very good. This was a stereo stage too. The album that was never to be. The whole thing with the lottery, and I know that you're not going to get it. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. This was a stereo stage too. to be. Okay, there you go. There you go. The whole thing with the lottery annoys me. It annoys me that stupid people are protected from people like me. Well, do you know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, like, oh, you get the government gets to take advantage of stupid people, but I don't get to.

Why? Why? I got to go, oh, so I got to go run for office and con a bunch of the stupid to put me in the government. And then I can do it. You figured it out. Sounds like a lot of work. Thank you figured it out.

Then I'll have my own lottery. Zero goes to charity. Right. Zero goes to education. We're not much of that gets a diverted. They say 40% goes to education. No, I mean of that you mean just goes to pockets. I don't know.

Well, it all goes to pockets. Yeah, I just yeah. I mean, what do you mean? I don't know. Just who's they got a you know, Sean, you can't teach kids unless they all have a fucking iPad. Yeah. Of course, it's very important that educators have access to the latest technology. Yeah, it's such a fucking, such a corrupt system. Yeah.

It's a whole, yeah. I get to have a better lottery. Oh, I'm sure. You win a free pair of tits. You win a free, you win a hooker. If you win my lottery also. In addition to the other lottery, I'll buy you a goddamn hooker and a weekly trip to any national breast cancer rally.

And it only gets bigger every week. And a wheelchair. A motorized wheelchair. There's only a 1% chance that anybody even wins. So it gets bigger every single week. It's a much better lottery being the billions, the rest of time. So wait. But nope, I'd play your lottery.

I'm living in a Christian caliphate, so no can do. All right, let me play this is Stereo's clip. So this was a Stereo's at his Montreal Weed Show. Okay, so a Montreal weed show. Astariot said a weed show to celebrate weed being legal in Montreal. Okay. He had a show celebrating weed being legal in Montreal.

And I guess this was, somebody sent this to me. This is what he said, like halfway into a show or something like this. He started talking about his counter-suit. Yeah. I'm actually surprised he would say anything. Well, that's, you know, we'll get into it. I know, yeah.

But this is, let me try to set this up on, or maybe it's just this show. You won't say anything on. Yeah, I don't know. I'm gonna put it on the two cams. Set set up here. All right. So looking very Canadian. I hope he's not pissed that I'm playing put it on the two cans set up here. All right. So looking very Canadian. I hope he's not pissed that I'm playing this too, but fuck, this is very compelling.

No, but he put it out, right? Uh, yeah, he said this. No, I mean, it was streamed. So yeah, so I mean, you're just, yeah. I don't see why he'd be upset about it. Well me either, but I'm not, I'm always surprised when people are accept by things. That's true. Unfortunately, so I've learned to just anticipate that they will be upset and start apologizing

early. Just because you wouldn't be upset about it doesn't mean something really bad way to judge that. Fair enough. But you understand that. It's not a surprise to you every time. Oh, when they get pissed at me. Like what?

Like, why would you be pissed at that? No, I think, oh, I've done it again. Yeah. I've missed. I've misunderstood the rules yet again. No. Oh, okay. Well, what can I do to make this up to you? Oh, nothing. Okay.

That's convenient. All right. Let me put it over. Maddox's weird texts. Here we go. This is from the hysterios show. No, it's obviously patreon.com slash hysterios. I'm sure I don't need to tell you where to go to see this thing in its entirety.

It's burned into your brain. Here you go. I think he's talking about the original timeline for Maddox to refile his lawsuit. He filed for a continuance and got two weeks, right? So maybe that means in two weeks, I'll get to go testify in that in the story I was talking about. But anyway, I think that's the two weeks he's talking about here. Because I've already watched this, so I know

that part was confusing. But anyway, so two weeks later, the guy gets two more weeks. 11 PM, I get a text from Maddox for the first time in years. Yeah, I text. Now, I'm not going to read the text because I didn't like when he leaked my private text, so'm not gonna leave his. Oh yeah, send it to me. It's interesting in a set, they were usually in a settlement. He was like can we, can we work out some kind of settlement, some kind of deal. And I was like well let me think about this because I thought to myself in Star Trek. It's Star Trek, the good guy gives the bad guy a chance to surrender.

Like in the classic socialist liberal, Nero has a fucking put your logo on his neck. And even that character is like, if you want a surrender, that's cool. And he's like, I'll never surrender. And then Kirk's like, okay, fine, I'll be close up. You know what I'm saying? But I said to myself, the good guy gives a bad guy chance to surrender. So I said, all right.

I said, here's some of the things I'm looking for. If you want to openly begin settlement negotiations. I said, I want to public apology on all your channels. I'm gonna say something because you're getting ahead of what I want to say. Oh what do you want to say? Maddox in his phone also is the name Maddox and then a bunch of eggplant emojis. A bunch of water. A bunch of penis emojis. I don't think you need to know what that means. A bunch of penis is ejecting. He's to that back when we were taking it. Oh really?

Peach changed his name to like a bunch of ticked symbols. So when this comes in, it's Maddox and then coming all over. You know? Anyway, let's continue story. Don't ever keep Peach talking. She'll fuck your shit up. But anyway, so I said, I want to call it Paul Jennell,

your channel's Twitter, YouTube, all that, and it's got to stay up forever. your shit up but uh... anyway so i said i want to apologize on all your channels twitter you to ball that it's got to stay forever i said i want thirty thousand dollars cash i was one of those it's not that's not that's not that is that's but that's getting off cheap no shit thirty

thirty grand you want only the a series wants only the amount he spent. No, no, nothing about the destruction of the career, anything like that. Fuck that, man. Out at 150. Start at 150. Start at 150.

Please, please don't do this. That is, if Maddox agrees, where's Maddox gonna, where's Joe's getting the money for? I have more, but I had to stop it there because that is nothing. There's no comparison to everything that went into this. Oh my God, 30 grand. Oh no.

If Maddox was smart, which he is not, he would instantly agree to that. 30 grand? Yeah, I'll find it. I mean, I don't know how many, I'll suck as many dicks as I have to to get you 30k. You never get off that cheap.

Or something. Or something. But something about this tells me that Assyria has known that he's not gonna take it or that's not on the table because he's talking about it. Sure, just because he's talking about that thing that it's not gonna happen.

Here you go. I was cash. I said I want one of these two things as well. Here you go. You come on the stereo show, and I was for an hour, hooked up to a lie detector. Yes. Or three rounds of a boxing match. Yeah.

Yeah. There's more. There's more. or three rounds of a boxing match. Yeah! Woo! It gets more. There's more. It's like a high score. A high score! Yeah! Yeah!

It would be a sanctioned boxing match, referees. It would be, there would be a medic there. Yeah, I like the boxing idea. I can sound the live actor for real. Oh, yeah. Or because like, not the boxing match, because like, there's no guarantee that Asterios beats the fuck out of them.

Like, I mean, he made a shot and you just walk out and trip on your shoelaces, oh, I surrender. Just throwing the towel immediately. That's a boxing match, you know? Yeah, you know, he's not, Maddox doesn't have to worry about a boxing career. He's just to walk out and immediately Yeah. He's not, Matt says not to worry about a boxing career. He's just to walk out and immediately retire. It's funny, but then you're still out.

It's him who's just stuck with 30 grand. He should fucking make him fight a fighter. Yeah. Still. I really love the life. Because it's just like you see that guy on that show. And it's like you're only lying to yourself at this point.

I don't know how to be like, he's looking up here. What the truth is gonna be up here. It's like no, the truth is. He would never do a polygraph. It's just like, I would love a machine that just tells that guy, you're lying to yourself. You gotta fix your shit to your body.

Now, but the thing is that with lie detectors, they like aren't admissible in court or something, because a group of very smart people have agreed that they're not reliable, so then he can have an out and be like, oh, well, you read all these crap, and lie detectors aren't. You can't argue your way out of you got punching the mouth and then fell over.

That's why I like the fun, because you can't argue your way out of you got punching the mouth and then fell over her. That's why I like the fun. Because you can't. There's a reason she's the braids. Like you can't knock up nothing. Just the word is longer. Bring it that the ring while you're punching from Trugel. Yeah, just have a second share. And every time it beeps that you lie just knock it.

Everybody says you take benzos to trick a lie detector. Have you ever heard that? You just load it on Benzos. Does that act sort of like a beta blocker or something? Yeah, it chills you out. It's not twitching. You don't give a physical reaction. Yeah, I don't know.

We'll probably take one eventually. Okay, here you go. For, um, wait, wait. So, I mean, that's, so right now the ball, and oh, wait wait what happened after that So we made that offer Um, I'm not gonna say what their lawyer said back. She's got a lawyer here. Yeah, it wasn't positive They weren't super duper in it, but we'll see look and you know, so man. I know you're watching this right now

Because it's a good new much everything I do Hi There's one thing I wanted to hear things that we're talking about You know, so, Manics, I know you're watching this right now, because you do a bunch of everything I do. Hi, hi. There's one more thing I wanted to hear. These things that we're talking about. He offered me half of the biggest problem in the universe. He was like, he was like business worth this. Give me a nap on that. He said, he opened me his half, the big thing.

He said, this is worth $45,000. He's all that says valuables by website. So I told my lawyer to tell him, then sell it and give me the money. Can you believe that? I can, unfortunately. 45 grand for half of the biggest problem in the universe, the trademark that we spent, God knows how long fighting over and suing over. Where does he come up with a number?

I have 50%. Yeah. Anybody wants to buy my half, make me an offer. And that is, that's how much it's worth. How much? So what you've got at 45. And then I'm gonna go down, I'm gonna go down as we go to see how much that my half of the show is actually worth.

Oh, there you go. Yeah, it's on sale, $45,000. Okay, any offers? Right, going once, yeah, going twice, and then I'll figure out when it ends. You're e-bang it. You've got exposure to, you know, yeah, going twice, and then I'll figure out when it ends. You're e-bang it. You've got exposure to the world more or less. I mean, not quite the exposure of e-bay, but 45 grand.

Okay. I'll give you half of my, so what would the point of that be? A stereo that picks up half of the biggest problem in the universe, which has not sold anything in three years. I don't know. I cannot believe that Maddox reached out to him to settle. I'm very surprised. That makes me think that makes me think he has absolutely no money.

And that he actually, and that he talked to a real lawyer. Oh, yeah. And the real lawyer said, you're fucked. You're fucked. That's exactly. That was my first thought. Immediately, dude, you are fucked. You have purged yourself big time. Yeah, you're fucked. Your lawyer was a fucking idiot. Yeah. Everybody's right. Do, do and say anything to stop these sanctioned motions from going through. And we will get that shit signed Fucking yesterday if he accepts any of this because otherwise Your ass is fucking toast. It's too. It's too low. Oh, yeah way too low Way too low 30 grand to get what just what you spit no 150 150 oh my god sent say it was a mistake. You would drunk or high or something.

Start at 150. Or whatever the hell your salary was, it got taken away from you. Jesus Christ. The apology thing would be funny. Yeah. Apologies on all the magic. 150 and the apology.

Yeah, well, yeah. Apologies worth nothing. Yeah, I mean, it's funny, but it's not worth. You can't eat an apology. Yeah Yeah, there you go. She's interesting development. Yeah, very You know You can I really like to think and I'm I don't even know if I believe this But I would really like to think that you can only be really stupid for so long

before the world makes you pay in one way or another. Unfortunately, you end up hurting a bunch of other people too. Stupid people, they fuck themselves, and they fuck everybody else. You fuck everybody else, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy.

I couldn't imagine getting a text from that guy. Oh, no. For an addict, that's the point. Now, I wish I had some motherfucking sanctions to put on him. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

I don't know what I'd ask for. Oh, boy. It would be more than 30 grand. Oh, fuck yeah. Anyway, let me see what I got here. I got some advice questions. I think water boy, I got a guy who was in a brainwashing camp as a teenager. Yeah, he got sent to one of these notorious brainwashing camps for teens, like wayward teens. They send them to,

it sounds very, very bizarre. Really? Yeah, yeah. You get out of trouble and stuff? I don't know, I want to talk to him about it. Then I got an erotic story to, we'll do the advice first. We'll save the erotic story for till the end. I don't know that. Here's the advice. Jack Haydick, I don't mind you read this on the air.

I've been a fan of the show. Hand a couple of women wrote in, pissed off about that letter that the woman sent in last week about rape. Yeah. Pist off at the woman or a pissed off at the woman. And a lot of people pissed off at me. A lot of people pissed off about Sargon though. Yeah, about yeah, they said I was a pussy for not chewing him out more or for even having him on. I don't know. I thought you voiced, like, you're just weren't gonna agree

with it. I think it's fucked that you said a guy was grooming kids. Yeah. Well, and after I listened to it, kind of, you know, it kind of passed me by during the episode, but, you know, I kind of thought afterward, it's like, well, you obviously meant grooming the way that we in America mean grooming. Like you just, he was, he was saying,

yes, there are other definitions for the word grooming, but that's, you know, that's, that's, that's smoke screen. It's like, yes, said it. I don't believe you. In relation to like 14-year-old kids. Yeah. And that connotation of grooming was what you meant, right? Yeah. So, and I guess he's, Sargon's gone off on another thing I'm a medic here, but you know, a lot of people just aren't familiar with it. And I'm not, I'm not that familiar with it either.

He'll lose. He'll lose. A medic will make a bunch of money. Yeah. And Sargon, well, if he keeps doing this, he'll look like an asshole, because like I said on the show, he's not medical maker, a bunch of money. Yeah. And Sargon will, if he keeps doing this, she'll look like an asshole. Cause like I said on the show, he's not a bad guy. He doesn't know what it's like.

Hey, Dick, I don't mind if you read this on the air. Been a fan of the show since the medical episode. I stopped following Maddox before the biggest problem. So at the time, I didn't really know who you were. A week before that episode was supposed to air, a friend had talked about some Maddox cause. We watched the doctor. Phil clip. Attuned in for the medical episode,

and we came hooked over the next month by Marathon to all the episodes, became Patreon along the way. Thanks buddy. The reason I'm sending this email is that I have been unable to bring myself to listen to the last few episodes. Oh no, though you,

though you were the show is not at fault for that. Oh, lately I've been struggling with a bit of apathy and depression, as well as sickness, nothing serious, just a cold getting over. I wanted to rant a bit and maybe get some advice or whatever you can offer. I'm currently 26 and living at home with my parents.

I attended community college with plans to transfer, but I was unable to decide what I'd like to major in and never continued. And that's an awkward decision. My family didn't really pressure me or to improve or try to force me out. Yeah. After realizing I was on the path to being a neat,

I think needs are people who just like stay at home and get old. Is that he's in a different country? Or is he, no, that's an American. No, I heard that. Yeah, and EETs, he had a lot of online. Is it an A. It stands for.

So it's an acronym. I would have said, yeah. Yeah. I forced myself to get a job to try to prevent that. There's nothing more than a dead end retail job that's bad. Yeah, yeah. Because those will suck out the rest of your soul. That's true. Yeah, that's bad. Yeah, yeah, because those will suck out the rest of your soul. That's true. Yeah, that's

and yeah, you'll wake up in 10 years and go, oh fuck, I'm a manager at Circuit City. Still wearing a name tag. It's helped a little bit. I'm still unable to decide what I should be doing for a living and it's eating it me more and more lately. Did you ever know what you wanted to be doing for a living? I sure as fuck didn't. No, I was like, I was tibing around with shit. I was very rudderless because my friends were all kind of rudderless too around that.

And it was like my parents were fucking insane, insane in their own separate lives. Separate but equal. Yeah. And my brother and I were living with a fucking insane man. And it was a good time, so I remember that. Yeah, they were good.

I mean, we did have some good times. Or Mr. Fancy Pant said, he said, I've never seen a lack of supervision like what you guys had. Like a parade was like, it's like, I almost thought it was normal. I almost thought it was normal. It was like, yeah, that's crazy. That's what I mean. Took me years to realize it was like, I almost thought it was normal. I almost thought it was normal. I was like, that's crazy.

That's what I mean. Took me years to realize it was like, oh no, no, no, that's like, that's really fucked up. Like, you're 16, 17 and... They have absolutely nobody around. No, like you're responsible for, I mean, nobody was going like, hey, you thinking about college?

Yeah. You know, you know, you're thinking about, you know, no, no, no, there was no, there was nobody steering the, nobody guiding the ship. Yeah. There were no, there were no, you know, bumpers in the, in the, in the bowling alley lanes, you know, just to kind of, just push you back kind of in the fairway there, you know. And make comments no surprise when it's been a few years since I had a girlfriend, either. Yeah, that's a big problem. So I like, he's kind of just depressed overall.

I think there's a lot of these guys. Sure. There was a lot of, yeah. Been on dates and had a few short term flings, but nothing lasting. Fear of rejection and low self esteem. They're gonna help them to top it all off. I've had a crush on a close friend of mine for most of that time.

I find her to be extremely attractive, but the canned situation is basically non-existent. Well, you know, look. Unfortunately for me, she lives several states away. Stop! Nominee shakes their arm! Yeah, don't do that.

Don't do that! That's don't fucking do that to yourself. Don't do it. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever. Here's a, ever. Maybe he's, see, this could be also a way for him to kind of protect himself too, because he's not real.

He's not real. Yes. Yeah. And always, and he's actually doing things with her life. Well, don't fucking bring her down then. She's friends with many of my close friends as well. So I'm conflicted on bringing it up to her.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. As I do not want to cause an awkward situation or ruin any friendships, nor do I think it would actually go anywhere and I would end up just being rejected. I don't know if it would be better to keep things like they are. Talk with her about it and possibly lose a friend. Do not talk to her about it. Do not talk to her about it. Women, as soon as women go, and far enough the way that you can't touch them anymore, they're no longer real. They're just a figment of your imagination.

That is a good, that's a good, that's a good way to put it. You can't touch them, they don't exist. It's not, that's it. It's not gonna be a relationship, it isn't a relationship. There's no such thing as a long distance relationship. People are meant to live like that. I know people in the internet age are like,

well, I kind of disagree with that. It's not a relationship. Shoot your low, you're gonna end up like Maddoxton. Shooting your ejaculate all over a keyboard. Well, someone you don't even know what they look like because at the other end, watching the bachelor with one hand and giving you half-hearted ums and yes with the other.

Sorry, if this is boring or incoherent, it's late. I haven't been able to sleep. No, I find it sad to type this up and get it off my mind. Yeah, this is interesting. I'd appreciate any advice you can give on this or just life in general. Thanks for all the entertainment and laughs to both you and Sean. I know my situation isn't bleak or terrible,

it's just silver lining of at least I'm not mad at cause it's true. Couldn't make it to roadway. Yeah, but walking through life just existing rather than living fucking sucks. Zaks! Because I've done it most of my life. Oh yeah? Oh yeah. Exactly.

You know, you know, you're living in existing or two different things. You got to find something that you like. You do. You gotta find a reason to, you gotta find a reason to get up in the morning and just to find a shit. Yeah. You gotta have a retail, man.

Yeah, I like it. You clearly don't like it. No, nobody should, nobody should like retail. Nobody should like dealing with the public. Go shovel dirt. It's awful. Go learn a craft. Go learn a trade. Go do like dealing with the public. Go shovel dirt. It's awful. Go learn a craft. Go learn a trade.

Go do something. Go just do anything. Do anything. Do not start wasting every second wasted. Every second spent talking to a broad online is just wasted time that you're not trying to, that you're not actually doing work. It's like a fucking drug sitting there,

obsessing about chicks online, will we won't we, am I gonna fuck up the friendship? Am I not just get the fuck, get the hell out of it, man. No reason to... Just stay, you're already friends, just stay that way. Don't bring it out though. You're not even friends. Whatever. You're not even friends. Whatever.

You're not even friends. This is somebody you know on the fucking internet. She's gonna get, she's gonna meet a guy. Right, and then, and that guy's gonna go, do not fucking, you're not friends with that fucking guy because that's weirding me out and it's not normal. So that's done. They're gonna have a kid.

And once, as soon as she has a kid, the entire world stops existing. Well, yeah. So, I had them off has a kid, the entire world stops existing. Well, so, I had him off at the past, I guess I'm saying. That's interesting. Yeah, it is. No direction. Yeah, I get that.

I get the redder list, the redder list thing. What did you do? I just like tinkering with shit, you know? Yeah, no, I know you always have. I know my brother and I have talked a lot about it and a lot of it has to do with kind of what your friends are doing at the time and like your friend. He said, I was kind of comparing and contrasting

the circle of friends I was in versus the circle of friends he was in, which was you, two one fancy pants. And some of these other people, and he said, that's the only reason I went to college. Was because, yeah, exactly was because he was really influenced by you guys and the active role that your parents would kind of take in your life.

Like, hey, it was like, we didn't have that. So, but he was like, oh, okay, well, everybody's doing this, okay, good. Now, he can do his friends. Yeah, well, that's the thing, but you don't he can do his friends. Yeah, well that's the thing, but you don't realize it at the time. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like your friends or your friends, because you've known them since you were little or you met them in junior high and you're all the way through high school. And then you don't, you know. That's true. All right, let me talk to this. Let me get this brainwashing guy on.

Hey man, what are we gonna call you? Brainwashing, man. Hey, Johnson Brown works. Johnson Brown. Johnson Brown. Johnson Brown. Johnson Brown. Suck Dick was his name when he emailed me. Yeah, yes. You sent me this giant email, which is pretty, pretty interesting. The Spring Creek Lodge

Academy. Yes, you're in. CLA. Started Big Fan of the Show. My life's pretty boring except for the brainwashing facility, leg lengthening, Indian, Filipino wife, and fostering a psychopathic six-year-old girl. I was sent to the Spring Creek Lodge Academy. Sounds harmless enough for a year, right after my 16th birthday. And I was told I would be there until I was 18 or I graduated the program.

The system was set up like the Stanford Prison Experiment. You know what I found? Oh wow. One of the biggest disappointments in my life, the Stanford Prison Experiment was a total lie. Seriously? Yeah. Okay, go over it.

When the guy, the psychiatrist picked people at random, students at random, and he made half of them guards and half of them inmates. Oh, oh, docu- Oh, I'm sorry, that was a, yeah, I was thinking of another experiment. Any documented their, their devolvement into like a heavy abuse and a weird sexual abuse as prison guards and like assuming this NPC identity in the form of the inmates, like calling themselves all of it, all of it was set up by the guy who had an

agenda when he started, sat the guards down individually. So it's already, there's whole them exactly how to act and argued with them when they didn't want to act like that. Like it's, it's all bullshit. Total bullshit. Total fucking bullshit. No shit. No, wow, interesting. Well, that's kind of shocking because I saw that, like I saw that behavior play out. So when I, you know, I saw the Stanford prison experiment, documentary and movie when I got out and it was kind of uncanny, seeing these behaviors. Yeah.

You've seen it on from employees, right? At one of these, at these brainwashing facilities you were at? No, the kids too. There was a really weird hierarchy system to progressing in the program. We all called it the program. And once you got a certain level of, certain level, you know, they had levels like one through six,

you started getting power over the other kids and just seeing how people would change how they would act, it was just like the Stanford Prison Experiment. I mean, there wasn't any, I didn't witness any physical abuse, but the power trip and the turning on other people was very accurate. So why did you get sent there?

What'd you do? I was depressed as hell. I cut myself almost died. My parents totally flipped out. They thought I was a violent psychopath. And they sent me there not knowing that I would be the only one there that wasn't heavily drug addicted, involved in gangs, rapists. I'm here.

That was a severe reaction to just send you to a place like that. No shit. It is, you know, I've had years to think about this. Yeah. And a lot of what led to the depression was how sheltered I've been throughout my life, like severely sheltered.

And I kind of know that that was a problem because after I got out and I moved out of my own, like everything started coming into place. I stopped feeling so depressed, like I just needed some level of freedom. I'm reading some of your email. So you get, you're a depressed kid and who cunts and you get sent to what is basically a prison

for the link. And I would say it's worse than prison in a lot of ways because in prison you can think of ways because you know in prison you can think and say what you want you know you at least have that level of freedom but there was a heavy brainwashing aspect to this facility. One time I hacked so you were cutting yourself one time I hacked too hard and severed a large vein in my forearm. I tried to stop it from bleeding but I couldn't and started to feel dizzy. Oh God. And that's how you ended up there. I spent the next couple of nights

in different foster homes in my blood soaked clothes. My parents, it was pretty fucked, you know, it was just kind of this giant, bloody spot all over my clothes. Because when I cut it, like just, I felt wet all over immediately. And it was at that moment I knew I fucked up. Oh my God.

You hit a man. And my parents assumed that I was both violent and on drugs and sent me to the program. So wait, these are your biological parents? They are, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay, so you're, yeah. Yeah, and the funny thing was, you know, I never drank and if I tried weed,

I'd smoke like less than a pack of cigarettes in my whole life. You know, just stupid teenager. That was your problem. I was, I was really clean cut. Yeah, that's, that's a fucked up thing. Yeah. The kids were divided into groups of 20 and housed in rooms with bunk beds along the walls. Each group was called a family.

Whenever they start using those weird terms, like Scientology has very specific terms that mean a specific thing. It's, yeah, it's a little weird. They do that at work too. Whenever you get to finding a word. Work called a family, it's time to move on. Yeah. I don't know, Manson had a family.

Yeah. And the adults responsible for the group. Didn't turn out all that. Did it? Family, fathers. 23 hours out of the day, we were not allowed to talk. And there were punishments for looking out windows, looking at females, if seen outside, Jesus Christ,

or the punishments. Well, geez, I'm sure you're gonna come out of that normal. Yeah. Oh gosh, no, no, no, that's like a whole other story. But yeah, the punishments were divided into categories. They called them cats. So you get a punishment, they'd say like cat too, cat two and then they cite like we're looking at a window and then they'd say self correct or staff correct If you say self correct, then you have to write like this big long essay and then you get a bunch of points detected from your score sheet

The staff corrected for that level of consequence you go straight to worksheets What are worksheets one more yeah one more is like straight to worksheets. What are worksheets? One more, yeah, one more, it's like... It's like... It's like a central worksheets, which is a room with wooden cubes that have small desks in them.

The punishment was to sit on the cube with a straight back and feet flat on the floor for 12 hours, including periodic bathroom. You could just do, so you have to sit on a cube with a straight back for 12 hours yeah yeah they were literal wooden cubes um you just sat down about the worksheets what did you get to connect to that so something where that term came from well if you didn't have schoolwork they would they would sometimes play these

motivational tapes and have you write essays on them. I think that's where the name worksheets came from. But the name really was equated to the room. So you don't go to work sheets. You go in this room and do whatever the hell you do. Fucked. What a fucked and weird prison for kids.

Did you have any visitation for parents or anything like that They completely cut you off. Yeah, you can write letters to your parents, but they read the letters You say anything they give about the program. You just rip the letter up My parents to this day do not know what it was like in there. How long? Wait, when your parents don't know to this day what it was like? They don't um, what that's actually I Bus my parents balls about everything they ever did to even small stuff like soap a little bit of soap in the mouth I'll say every time I see my mom I can transform thinking about holding you down and shoving us a bar Soap in your mouth. Yeah, I think about that. You ain't no statute of limitations on that. Yeah.

Go to the couch. Go ahead, I'm gonna give a fuck. They really put it in your head that when you go out, if you fuck up or if you start talking about the program in a negative way, they call it manipulation and they say that the parents are trained to send you back if that happens. So when you go out, you know, you, you don't say anything negative about it at all. And then by the time I was at a point where I could talk about that, they had completely changed your parents. They used for not the

same parents that sent me in. They were like wiser and smarter. And I don't know. They just became much better people. So you thought why not bother them? Why bother them with it? Well, I mean in my head I was thinking like there are these great people now. I mean I started working with my dad. We started a software company. We became really close. And it's like if they, I know that if they knew exactly what it was like, the guilt would be overwhelming. Well, yeah, I mean, that, that, your responsibility to protect them from something they did.

Oh, yeah, would you tell your parents? Fuck yeah. Yeah, but yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, I totally respect that. You know, it's, it's a hard one because, you know, we're really close now. And I just come down to, I'm okay with it now. It led me down a path that got me into a place I'm

really happy and being in. So if I was to go back, I wouldn't do it differently just because I don't think I would have ended up here if I hadn't gone through it. I don't think I would have ended up here if I hadn't gone through it. For more serious infractions, one was sent to the Hobbit. You got to work on their names for these places. You should have it. You should have it. The Fidget breakfast. Until you barf.

Man, let me tell you something about camping. It is, I feel like I could be rolled back from the camping trip this weekend. I'm going to eat on a camping trip. Oh, it's, I've heard of this meal. I've never had right when you wake up as they call it breakfast. You had to eat like three or four of those every day. I feel fat as a fucking house. One was sent to the Hobbit.

The Hobbit was a small bloody room where a single kid was held in isolation for a period of time. What the? Some people spent weeks there. In a few months, the room was typically bloody and blood stained due to self-inflicted injuries and there was often semen in various places. How high is this? Was there any semen on the ceiling?

Did anybody get... Maybe. I just posted a picture in the chat that there aren't many pictures of the facility because this place been shut down. Yeah, yeah, around 2008 I believe. There was this girl there that they kept telling her parents, you know, everything was fine with her. She was making progress when she was obviously suicidal. And somehow she managed to kill herself with a, like I think she hanged herself with a sweatshirt

during like a five minute shower. She was surprised. And then there's that kind of shown a light on the facility and it was shut down soon after. She's fucking, there are some, did you get shut down with you in there? Did you get pulled down? No, no, no, no, no.

I was pulled out. Yeah. See, they tell us that our parents are going through all this shit, like the brainwashing that we go through. And when I say brainwashing, I'm not being hyperbolic. They had a, they called it a seminar center. Yeah.

It was like a giant room, like bigger than a gym. Mm-hmm. And you would do these These seminars that would last between one and five days and it was just total It was really weird. It was does like a TED talk that lasts for five days I'll kill myself and hour two. Yeah, imagine like Imagine something kind of like a TED talk where you're sitting with your hands on your lap, palms upward, that was what they called the open position for like 12 to 16 hours.

And then you have like four hours of doing homework and just a little bit of sleep. And then you do it the next day. And it's like you're a Japanese kid. Kinda, yeah, but they have these weird, gosh, I forget what they called them, procedures or they had these kind of events where they would direct you to do these weird things. The first big one in what they called discovery was, you know, they kind of read you through

a medit different thing. Yeah. And everybody had a towel wrapped up in duct tape. And then after they get you to a nice calm place in meditation, they lead you to this super angry place. And they have you just take the towel and slam it on the floor and scream out whatever you want. So like, here's me just, you know, a depressed kid and like the chaos in that room of hearing like a hundred kids just wailing about everything. Jesus Christ. Yeah.

It was pretty not where the pedestrian brothers running this thing. And they're telling no, actually, there was there were these fat twins Cameron and Shaven these these two fat fuckers that that owned the facility and ran everything there. I can't believe it all. I know it's you wonder how yeah, you wonder how I always wonder why more people don't get killed for things. No, I know. I know, I know. I don't think it's in a lot of people. Yeah.

Yeah, that's another weird thing. We are dropping pretty quick in some of the groups where these, you know, some Facebook groups and stuff where former kids post and there's kind of a running of itchewery and it's surprising. There running of ituary. And it's surprising. Like how many of us are dying? Not for stuff directly related to the program, but just all this other random shit.

It's really weird. Huh. I only saw it once and said, if one did not respond to the punishments, they were set to a similar program in Jamaica where the conditions were beyond extreme. I won't go into detail, but it's on record that after a girl killed herself by jumping from a window, a boy was made to use the bloody towel for a week

that had just used the lift the girls' body into the back of the truck. Jesus. Jamaica's a hell of a hell of a hell of a hell of a hell of a hell of a hell through court documents after I started to in research into these places. Jamaica's a horrible place. And to this day, I feel a deep rage

when hearing a Jamaican accent. Yeah. Even if it's like a silly one, what about cool runnings? Is that like your version of a Halloween movie? I just wouldn't watch it. Yeah. So I mean, we were threatened with Jamaica all the time. And we'd see kids. That would fuck up. And they'd just be gone. They'd be gone to Jamaica. Oh, man. What was this place called and what state was it in? Montana. It was up in a marine creek lawn spring creek lodge in Montana once a month. We went to seminars That's what you were talking about a giant white room Wow, we'd sit with our back straight and our palms and our laps. No, I'd be out I think they just have to send somebody to Jamaica. I can't sit straight. I got to look this place up. It sounds like Jamaica. Jamaica, they will fuck you up.

Holy shit. Like they don't have, they didn't have like any child protection there at all. I mean, they don't really have any. What's that? Even with all their weed smoking, they'd still get that bent out of shape about this stuff. Oh yeah. Yeah. I know a girl that I bent out of shape about this stuff. Oh yeah, yeah, I know a girl that was in the program I was in, she was sent in Jamaica and they broke her jaw on such a fucked up way that like she's had multiple surgeries that still not right. Like to the last I heard of her,

she was having a drink like e-throat straw. All that fucking jerk chicken makes violent progression to the program. Typically took at least a year with some having been there for two or three years. How long were you there for? One year. One year.

Yeah, I was pulled out when I turned 17, but. By who? In a photo of my parents. So I'm ashamed to say that I tried to embrace the brainwashing in order to progress. Don't be ashamed. Picard did the same thing. In the episode where there's four lights,

he said by the end that he could see five lights, right? Yeah, it wasn't that way. Yeah, I think so. He was trying to make him see five lights. What's it, five or three? Yeah, it wasn't four, three, yeah, four lights. Yeah. It's one of my largest regrets and a testament

to my weak will as a child. Even so, I couldn't pass the third seminar. Yeah, it gets a little weird. It's funny that he thinks that there's a failing was on his part. Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh gosh, you would not believe how much that was taught to us. Yeah, that's what I mean.

That was an awful thing to teach a kid. Were there chicks locked up? taught to us. Yeah, that's sort of that. That was awful thing to change a kid where their chicks locked up. Yeah There were it was co-ed, but we were kept in separate parts of the facility obviously in separate. They called them cabins Yeah, so you'd really only see them. It's a lot. There was a line of girls Going somewhere else while you were your line was going somewhere because we walked, we'd walk heel to toe. Wait a minute, whoa, whoa, whoa, you'd walk with your own heel to your own toe, everywhere you walked.

Take forever. You're toe to the heel of the next person. You're so like, I mean, if I'm behind Sean, I have to step so my toe touches his heel and then he's got to step so his foot touches the guy in front of him. Oh, when you stop. Yeah, whenever you stop, while you're walking, usually about, you need to be about one foot or less behind the other person or you get a consequence for having a gap.

That's a little close to guys' butts. Oh, oh, yeah, no, it was very gay. I was wonder, did anything, anything you've uncovered say anything happened to the girls there? Oh, please. No, because I'll know that yes, the answer is yes. Yes, see that's because that's it's a whole other thing. She's, you know, it's what's funny is the girls were, were fucking nasty. Like they were the ones pulling the gross shenanigans, you know, we'd hear through rumors

and some of the stuff I heard after we got out. Like they were, they were doing a couple of uppercuts in the toilets. They were having shit into the shower. And there's a lot of people. And there's a lot of people who are not in the shower. And they're, they're absolutely grotesque. You leave them alone for just a couple minutes. After I got out, it took five years to stop having nightmares about going back. I found this as a comment with members of the program. I will go into how I adjusted to being back in society and another back. Jesus Christ.

It's like the beginning of what was that show about that redhead who comes back from Iraq and he's like a manchurian candidate or something. What was that show on HBO? Homeland. He comes back and sleeps on the floor and there's all kinds of weird shit. Yeah, but it was weird. There was this kind of extreme detachment that just felt natural at the time.

Yeah, it wasn't until I eased out of it that I realized how foreign it was. But there were times when I would almost die and there was just like a mild amusement at it. Like there's just this complete apathy at living or dying. What do you mean you would almost die? Well, there's a couple of times like once I got hit by a car pretty hard

because I drive my bike everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe you should go back and get a little more brainwashing then, because that's bike riding. Can they left the bike part of your brain intact? That's a problem.

Yeah. No, so you got, yeah, almost died. Yeah, it was really weird. I mean, I was flung pretty hard. Like it really messed up the front of the girls car. They hit me. She was going about 40. I was riding my bike.

I was pretty stupid. I decided to turn into a block bluster. So I turned and then there's this car that was like right where I was going into. So it just smashes me. I go flying pretty far. And I remember like being in the air and just being mildly amused about it.

Yeah, I just like, I fuck it. Fuck it. That's how I, whenever I see like people riding their bikes around in China and those cars are barely missing them, you know, those gifts that you'll watch. I always, I think that like, there's no way they can feel any kind of like regret over their life. They're just crying because they don't, they don't care. There's no one could become used to that without, without still having a fear of their own death, right? You would think.

Yeah, I would think. Yeah. I was, I was hit a few times. So, that was the worst one, but. Several different movies have been made about such programs, such as Holes. He knew the guy who was, in the program that Holes was based off of

huh. How about that Sean with shy love buff digging holes. I said you also had your legs lengthened. Did that work? Wow. It did. Yeah. That's just work. No, it does work. A whole other story, but how tall are you? Yeah. Around 5.11 now. I think I was about 5.7 and a half somewhere around there before a, you had your length in three whole inches? Yeah, it's about, it's about the maximum of how much you can lengthen it without like,

that's half of a huge length, Sean, three and a half inches. Let me tell you something about that. Why? I just wanted to be taller. It was, this was, this was significantly after the program. Yeah. I'm kind of in my 20s.

And I wanted to change everything I didn't like about myself. And that was kind of the thing. So I was like, fuck it, I'm going to change everything or I'm going to die trying. And so I went to India and yeah, I just posted a pick and chat. Um, you just have these frames around your legs and then they snap your legs and then you they pull them apart. Well, I put them apart. Yeah, you get a little wrench and then we put nail polish on one of the sides of the rent on one of the sides of the bolts. And then you just lengthen a little bit each day.

It took about four months. Oh my God, I cannot, but like, if you're five foot tall, is a guy I'd understand, but five seven. Yeah, I mean, it's on the shorter side, but it's not extremely short. How much did they lengthen? Like five seven, you break your bones. No did they lengthen the B-7? You break your bones.

No, they only broke the bones once, right at the beginning. And then the trick is to pull your bones apart and it keeps making no bones. Yeah, slow enough so that bone callus fills in between. Yeah. But not too fast or you stretch out the nerves and break them. Oh my God, as for Clay's transsextory, which in the leg bones breaking, which one is worse for you?

Well, the leg bones breaking hurts my teeth. Yeah. Yeah. So how long did that take? Two months, I will take. It took four months for the actual lengthening. Four months. So how long did that take? Two months, it took four months for the actual lengthening. Four months, and you're...

Mountain and shit for four months. You're basically a new wife. Kinda. Yeah, I mean, we found ways of getting around. We tried to keep it fun. It wasn't just me, there was some other people. Oh, who was doing the same thing? Yeah, there's only a couple of them.

I, when I got there. Were you in like a leg breaking, like like team that was all doing this together. Basically, yeah. Yeah, our talk tour was like a little vacation. They got to India. Yeah, we'll take a little tour, a little cruise group. Sign up. Yeah, he did a talk with us.

You know, he'd consult with us, take a look at X-rays. He'd try to make sure that we are mentally stable enough to go under it, but Oh my God. Which you got, let me see this picture again. This is your shin bones. Yeah, the tibia and the fibula. Right, right. Are your shins, like really your shins are like they got an extra three and a half inches on them then. They do. It doesn't look too weird though.

I don't think. I feel like it could be really well-shin. I'm just like, is this like the future? I mean, are you, like you're a proud, are you an NHL gold tender? No, no, I am taller though. You're happy with the results though, right? Oh yeah, yeah, no worries.

Is this the future of braces? Like I didn't like having braces for three fucking years for my teeth or straight. They've been doing it for, I mean, it's not a new brand new thing. Why wouldn't you, I guess. Why wouldn't you get an extra, well how many inches could you have gone?

He said about the max. Realistic plan. That's about the max. Realistic plan. That to be in Fibola, but there are people that do the fever and extra three inches on the femurs. Damn. Oh my God.

You get an extra six inches of height. That's not how you got full six inches of height off of it. Six six marching around really throw my weight around. Yeah, right. But again, this wasn't just about the height. This was part of like a complete reimagining in my life. And part of it was to go through this crazy painful experience, kind of, I guess, reemerges. Somebody I wanted to be. So it's not just an issue of I wanted to be a little bit taller. It was your childhood experience of constant pain and disassociation, something that helped

you in this very brutal leg lengthening surgery. Because I know this was nothing compared to the program. Because I was mentally and physically free to an extent. I'd be on my laptop and I tried to find ways to make it fun. Sure. Like I said, there was several of us there. We all ran to an office chairs and how many of you were there? When I first got there, there was about five.

I had this Iraqi guy as my roommate. And then I started writing a diary online about it in like that kind of tracked in a bunch of people. So by the time I left, there was like 20. Oh, shit. You're reporting people. Yeah. Not knocked on some of the bill.

Yeah. There was no, like full knocked on some of the bill. Yeah. There was no detailed library with the stockter when I got there. So part of my goal was to write like every experience I had honestly about him. And it ended up working out well for me. So a lot of people decided they'd help. What was the, what was the tallest guy that, what did he come out of? What did he come out at the tallest guy there? I don't remember exactly it was over six foot. It was this Korean guy and was not I would say was not mentally stable because he came there and he was like 5'11 and he just wanted to be

yeah his money was still I was talking about like like ballerina foot and he didn't know what that was and that kind of set off alarm bells in my head because this guy has done any research on this at all, holy shit. And sure enough, he's like lengthening it like two millimeters a day right out of the gate and like, one millimeter is about how fast you can reasonably go without extreme, excruciating pain. Yeah. I went to a similar how much it cost. The total was 18 grand, including airfare, surgeries, the stay, everything. I went to a similar thing in Mexico, where

every they would break your penis and extend it. Sim, it was about a millimeter a day. I stayed there for that. I spent my most of my 20s there. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. They kind of have an after that. About a millimeter. A, A, A.

Well, that shit is fascinating. I don't know why, but the leg breaking and growing thing. I don't know where I heard it as a kid. Maybe I said I'm gatico for the first time, but I have always wondered why more people don't do it. They're just that you're kind of taking yourself out of life for, I mean, you can't really interrupt your, a lot of people can't interrupt their life. Well, Cam gets on just, he's going to black female sorority TED Talks on domestic violence in breast care.

Will, he's not stopping him. No, no, no, but he's he's he's been with it a while. Yeah, like it's it was a gradual thing. I'm sure with him as it comes on, right? So I'm super I'm super I'm super guys don't do it. Yeah. Probably the four months is just the lengthening. Once you get your cages off and they they lock the the internal rods. Yeah. You still have to wait like a good six to eight months for it to be fully consolidated before you'd start walking on them. Oh, well, That's fascinating, dude Not the funniest thing in the world, but it is yeah fucking wild. How many times do you told this story? I do have a funny story. Go ahead

So in the program, well a couple of funny stories one with the leg length and one for the program But the program on its funny so there's, there's this guy that really wanted out, like he was just, you know, done with the program and different people had different ideas for how to get out. His answer was to hold in his shit. He wanted to hold in his shit for so long that they would have to take him to the hospital. And then I think it was like, there's a question mark in the profit. I don't know really what his plan was. I think he just wanted to be in a hospital,

have some drugs, relax for a bit. Yeah. So he did, he held in a shit. For how long? He was obviously, it was between two and three months. What? Like,

I think you could do that. How did you do that? I thought you'd go like toxic before then. Yeah. You'd think so. And I wouldn't have could do that. How did you do that? I thought you'd go toxic before then. Yeah. You'd think so. And I wouldn't have believed nobody trying to like tickle it out of him on week three or something. No, we thought he was just getting fat.

Like a stubby little stuff. We go a little bulbous. And we're all in our bunks. Like you know, the near bed time, it's like one of the many silent times of the day. Could you guys do your comb off? Oh, yeah, yeah. No, and I have more on that. But so we, we're all in that. Yeah, yeah, no, this is a lot. And I hear a bunch of people screaming and running into the bathroom. And I'm thinking like, holy shit, these people are making noise and

they're crossing into the bathroom. I know. I know. And he finally shits that one. Yeah, three months. Yeah, no, it goes up in a spiral. He's doing anything about it. Yeah. So I was like, I better check it out. So I walk in. And I see him.

I'll never forget it. Like I see him standing, looking just the wilderness and relieved and confused, like at the toilet. And these are industrial toilets, you know, the regular kind kind that you go to like at a nice restaurant or something and the shit was coiled up and it was actually very slightly above the lid of the toilet It was just completely filled and the No one that he had just given birth to this. Oh, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was,

it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it Oh my god. It was actually very slightly above the lid of the toilet. And it's full. Yeah, it wasn't like a spiral that went around it like a coil. But like it was like it was coiled.

Yeah, it was coiled, okay. To the entire toilet. So he like shit, a reticulated Python. Are you serious? Is this like a million tiny fibers shit? Is this all along con to tell a story of a toilet that was entirely filled with shit? Because brothels with a funny event.

No, I've not clever enough to make that up. And like I said, I wouldn't believe it if I had heard it. And I hadn't seen it for myself. What did it sound like when he was screaming and yelling? You wouldn't scream, but you saw a guy shitting out of water, Melon. Why was everyone in the bathroom? You're telling me you're just gonna let that happen? He was just staring at the toilet and just like stunned.

Like he didn't know what to do, he don't flush it. I mean, that's just gonna put a lot of blood in there. What I'm saying is, did they hear him like screaming or something and come in? Or did they invite them in afterwards? Like, you guys, you gotta fucking look at this thing. I honestly don't't know I was just reading and I was alerted to this when I heard the screaming I assume that he was just staring at it and somebody went into the pattern these normally and thought what's this guy looking at and then That was probably the first thing. No, we took a picture of this

No, we didn't have any cameras. We're not allowed to have any cameras Did they at least say, did they at least acknowledge the game recognizes game? Did they get props? Yeah. Got to give them. So they give them another 11Z. They're too fat twins and they're not going to be like, dude, nice. Nice. Yeah. No, no, what they did give them was a large plastic trash bag and a pair of gloves. plastic trash bag and a pair of gloves. Oh, fuck.

And he said, by your own, it's hard again. He had to carry it over his shoulder like a shitty Santa. Oh, for the night. For the night. He's shit until we walked past the dumpster. Oh, my God. So he's carrying this with him. That was the happiest night of my entire existence.

So he got punished. So he got punished. See, hell, then his shit. So he had to hold his shit for He got punished. So he held in his shit, so he had to hold his shit for like 12 hours. This was shit. It was the happiest time of his life in this weird camp. It was, it was amazing. Oh my God.

All right, what's the funny story about the leg lengthening one? I'm fascinated by that leg lengthening thing. Yeah. Oh yeah. I found a coin to try too. Sure. Yeah. Oh yeah. So how do you guys are pissed about your skin too? Sure. So there was a time, like when you have these pins going through your legs and you're stretching your legs out,

they're traveling through your skin. So they're just like digging through. And every once in a while, they get caught on a nerve branch. And that had happened to me on a fairly large nerve branch. And it just felt like somebody poured gasoline on my shins and lit it on fire. Like it was, it was insane. Yeah. So I went into have a surgery and get that pin removed and put in a new pin so that, you know, I wouldn't lose sensational for my whole foot. And I get back late at night and my legs were so bandaged,

I couldn't move it all, because I was in a heavy amount of pain. So we didn't have any opiates after we got out of our surgery. So we had to do this pain killer freak so the way you get addicted. And anyway, so I kept pissing, because you're filled with the fluids during the surgery and I filled

up my my piss jug and there was nobody around empty it and I could not move and this thing was filled to the brim. So I started to panic you know I was coming down off the opiates from the surgery so I was like in a really dark place you know in India like two in the morning and nobody's around. And you have to go to India to do this surgery. I'm assuming or somewhere else. You can do them. Or worse, you asked now, oh, it's okay. Oh, you can. Okay. When did you do this?

But what year did you do this? Oh, this is about eight years ago or so. Okay. Huh. Yeah. So I'm sitting there, you know, I have to piss so bad. And there's this filled to the brim jug of piss And at that moment I just I just thought that fuck it night I opened the window behind me and I just jumped the whole thing out

That's pretty much what happens in India anyway Jumping piss and a win't getting hit by trains or two favorite castes. Oh my God bitches! My God bitches! This is my God bitches! This was an upscale condo complex. So this was a place where normally like, families of doctors and doctors live.

Oh yeah, I am so, we were on the fourth floor and I was thinking I just dumped this out. I dumped it. I started dumped it. I heard this like, slash slash slash slash slash. And I realized that I just dumped it and it cascaded over the air conditioners for all the people. Oh, no.

Yeah. So I quickly shut the window and everybody got it. And I refilled it with piss. And when they came in, I said, I don't have, I'm clearly having my piss all in this jug. I didn't do it. Oh my God. I told people, I told people there, like if anybody comes asking, say that at about two

in the morning, piss started just coming from her condition. I just say that it came from home. Did anything ever happen? Did you hear any, you know, wrong things about it? I got away with that. I just imagine like India is just furious at two.

Yeah. Yeah. And it's like a lot of curry to cover that up. We've even noticed. All right. What makes anything make you a rage, man?

Thanks for calling. Yeah. I think the thing that makes you rage are people that don't know what makes them a rage. Yeah, like you get people calling in and you ask them what makes them rage and they're like, well, I don't know what makes me rage. Like they've never listened to a single episode.

Why would they call and go show? I think they've never listened to an episode of it. Was that a Sargon impression? British, I don't know. I've thought it so many times. I mean, of guests that I really like, so I'm not like digging at them, but I just don't get why you would call into a show without at least listening to one episode. And me either.

Because they got to know what they're getting in for. Right? Yeah, exactly. Like, I mean, what Dix show could be anything? I mean, it could be literally about Dix for an hour. Like, why haven't you listened to it. Well, that was the first idea. Uh, all right. He named himself dick after that one didn't fly. He's like, well, I got, I got the Dicks show domain. So I'm just, you know, we'll do another show.

That calm is taken. Can't be a Johnson Brown. Something tells me he's got more stories. Yeah. Very interesting. This lengthens his legs. Like you said, not not all funny, but I like this stuff. I don't know if it's this if people are as fascinated as I am about it, but we'll see. I mean, I don't know if it worked for me. It doesn't work for everybody, but I'm happy I went through it. All right, man. Have a good one. Have a good one with your, with your extra long shins. Yeah. Sounds good. Thanks for having me. Yeah. Thank you. Did he go for it? He's 5'11 and a half. Is it like up to 5'11? I think he said he started about 5'7

and a half. He couldn't grow that. He's got to get his hair going up at the top. 5'11 is like that. I'm gonna. He's average plus at the time. I'm gonna go empty my piss jug and then on. Yeah, I'm back to Facebook news. What about water boy? Yeah, let me see if, yeah, he's here. We'll talk to him.

Okay, talk to him. All right, hang on, we'll be right back. Okay, okay, okay. Water boy, let's talk to water boy. Water boy, what's up, man? Not much. Just been hanging out, listening to the show. Yeah, last color was really good.

Yeah, you like that? Yeah. You like hearing about people's misery? That's the biggest mystery thing is a nightmare. God, I don't know why it's so fascinating to me. It always has been. I want to ask you more questions, right? Yeah.

Like, that is an extreme level of self-improvement. Yeah. And I'd rather get my bones broken and lengthened a little bit every day than go to the gym. Right? Yeah. Like that is an extreme level of self-improvement. Yeah. And I'd rather get my bones broken and lengthened a little bit every day than go to the gym. You know what I mean? It seems like an extreme level of self-improvement, but also the kind you can do sitting on your ass playing Portal 2. Yeah, but they just cause, right?

They do accomplish different things, though. Well, but you know, one I would, one I could do, one I could do. And the other one I is a daily struggle. Yeah, I feel like I get it, right? Yeah. Oh, he's posting more pictures too. Look at this shit. Oh, shit.

What's up, dude? What? Do you see that water boy? Oh, yeah. I mean, it was interesting when my mic was muted, but now that I got his hit and I'm alive, it's like, oh, I'm just a beefy legs too. I wish my legs were that big.

Is that, is something written on his legs? What's earth, what's that like kind of green blue ink? It says thank you, it says thank you. I don't know why. Here, look at the size of this guy's legs. What a powerhouse. This is what I endeavor to. This is what I want my leg work out to produce.

He's like, look like a little girl's forearms. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, very, very interesting, interesting dude. All right, Water Boyce, you had a big week this week. Thanks for the, thanks for the Halloween remix, by the way. I love the badger you got for forever. No, it's great.

It's good. And version is just fucking great. First one sounded like a banjo kazooie level. Oh, were you giving us one sound? Feedback? I get one round of feedback. Gotcha. Yeah, okay, yeah.

I'm good for me. Yeah, you just wanted more at beat. So I did that. You had a big week this week, right? You dropped all of your conversations with Maddox. Yes, and it starts out with the first conversation after the biggest problem the universe ended. I really wanted to really long rant and put it on the biggest problem in the universe subreddit.

And all it was was just saying, you know, this, it's really fucked up that you didn't mention Dick. And there's no way to have closure for the show if we don't know what happened to Dick. And so immediately Maddox found it. And then Maddox tweeted at me saying that this is unprofessional. So it starts there and it ends with him trying to lock me. That's where it started.

Sorry. Yeah. Where did it end? It ended with him trying to blackmail me. And that's where it picks up with you being at the gym and me emailing you, what the hell do I do? That's where I'm in my, that's where I do my best thinking in the gym. Yeah, that's how this story ended is me at the gym. Now, I remember that very clearly. So water boy, as you might not know, Sean, water boy has been slowly releasing

like some kind of redacted and summarized version of the chat. I do know. Yes. You remember that? Yes. Back in the day when things were cute and there wasn't lawsuits and legal fees and people got fired and all this bullshit and restraining orders. Back in those days when it was just bullshit.

Back in the innocent times. Yeah. I think your first log starts, your first log starts in 2016, 65, 2016. That was not too long after the show ended, right? It was right after. Yeah, it was the same week, I think.

Oh, wow. So this is absolutely the first thing Maddox ever sent to you, dude, that MP3 is pretty unprofessional. There's actually conversations we've had before this, but it's just kind of small talk. And also him asking if I can work on a theme song for his show He's YouTube show. Yeah. I've got to be blurred from his name as far as I can tell or blurred from his video

Okay, and then you got look at this look at this look at the size of these Jesus 20 There's 23 text files and they range from they, some of them are a couple lines long, but then you got, whoa, there's one that you, yeah. You got one like, we got like this one. 139K, one or, there's pictures. Yeah. Yeah, look at this thing. So there's like, these guys are sending each other evidence of why I'm an asshole and Maddox goes into detail talking about why I get kicked, why I got kicked out of UCB and

how esterios and I hate each other. Just the one that I keep going back to is just that he said that you threatened to punch Larry in the face. Like it's just, it's just a, it's just an incredibly stupid thing to just make up. But that shows you that he will just make up anything. Yeah. Just make it up. It doesn't have to be a twisting or a misconstruing

of a thing like the tax documents. It can just be straight out made up. I gotta tell you, man, I read through me into 80s girl. And Jamie, I think you've read all these two. Have you, you haven't read these? I feel asleep doing. Okay. I said Jamie separately in the IRC chat, a lot of them, because she was interested in what

was said about 80s girls. So she's basically read most of it. We've read through these and it is a, it's like reading a weird journal about the mind of someone going insane because it goes through all the way until, like Waterboy said, where Maddox threatens him, he's, Maddox tells him to go on the internet and say all of the chat leaks are faked

and that he's lying. And if he doesn't, people are gonna lose their jobs, which is extortion. Yeah, yeah. And that's when he texted me at the gym saying, what do I, I don't know what to do. Like I'm getting threatened now to do this, and I don't want people to lose their jobs. Because you were fucking, water boy,

you were playing around fire, fucking around, or a long time, trying to give me an addicts to do shit that he didn't wanna do, right? Yeah, yeah, that's what you get. I was really idealistic and stupid about it. Did you learn something? Oh yeah, I learned to not be idealistic and I think that in the first place when I was going about it, I had a real ego about it where I thought, yeah, I could fix things and

no, it's a stupid way of going about it. You can't fix anything. You can't fix anything. And the way he talks to you is just terrible in some of these chats. Don't ever let somebody talk to you like that. That's fucking bullshit. You got, you understand me? You hear what I'm saying?

I don't even know what to do. Do you have a favorite one of these? I think honestly that I'm gonna have all these red. It's supposed to get an incredible amount. I'm gonna have them red and then maybe do that bring the Titanic bit back where we just play like a minute worth of these conversations every week and laugh at that.

I don't know what else to do with them because there's so many, but there's so many gems. Are there? I mean, just the one where Maddox says that I would have been his best man at his wedding and now I'm not. Now I'm not gonna be the best man at his wedding. Do you know where that is, Water Boy?

Um, I can click through real quick. Well, I'm going to do this. This is one of the first few. Yes, I found it. Where is it? Just as an aside, when we went through some of those, uh, the sexting, uh, texts from last week, it's so funny and he's done this to other people before. It's so funny how quickly he turns around and goes,

and also stop harassing me. Yeah. Like there's been like a, a, a, a, a link fee. It could be in like two texts. It's like, stop harassing me. As soon as he gets any kind of, you know, as soon as somebody throws up any kind of impediment to him, it's like, you're harassing me.

Here it is. This is the funniest thing that I read in the whole lot. You know, before all the shit went down with Dick and my vindictive ex, I told him that if I were ever to get married, he would have been the best man. Have you ever been the best man at a wedding before? One, what? Go ahead.

I said, now I can count the number of weddings I've been to on a mutilated hand. I've been the best man, or he totally ignoring the joke. I've been the best man for groomsmen over seven times and officiated ones. What do you mean over seven times? Eight. What do I mean?

What? Seven and a half. That's over seven times. You see what I mean? Every line is like this because it's an insane person. Did he actually tell you that he would be his best man or is he making that up? Oh, I don't know. I don't listen to other men telling me about their hypothetical weddings that they're planning

in their head. I wouldn't remember that. Yeah. Hey, I just want to let you know. I'm just going to let you know that if I ever do get married at my royal wedding, you're going to be my best man. Say, what the fuck are you talking to me about? I'm putting my car before the horse.

Don't make me the best man. I don't want to be the best man. I don't want to do any fucking war. No, I don't give a fuck about your dumb wedding. Have you ever been the best man at a wedding before? I've been the best man or a groom's man or groom's man over seven times and officiated once who the fuck I've been the best man at a wet or a groom or a groom's man over seven times and officiated once.

He would have been mine. Now I want nothing to do with him ever again. We will never be friends again. He would have been mine. He's talking about me like I would have been this like his first lay. He would have I'm a virgin. He would have been my first. Now I want nothing more to do with him. He's like fucking scar like I would have been his first lay. He would have, I'm a virgin, he would have been my first. Now I want nothing more to do with him.

He's like fucking scarlet of hair over here. So weird, man, that is so weird. I've been the best man or groomsman over seven times and officiated once, he would have been mine. Have you ever been the best man in a wedding before? It's a magical bonding between two men who are in love with each other. I've been a best man over seven times and each time it opened my, it spread my hips as a man. I can't, I'm not even listening to you because the phrase over seven times, over seven times,

over seven times just keeps repeating in my head. Have you ever been a best man before? It's the the most beautiful experience of a middle-aged man's life. Nothing could replace it. I'm trying to find it in the logs and I'm having it because these are long. But he, at some point he was like, what are you talking about?

I've got like hundreds of friends. I've been the best man or a groom's man over seven times. And officially, like he's talking about the How fucking magical it is to be involved in a wedding I don't want to be in your fucking wedding I pray that the thing that he does is he'll repeat Things that he thinks about social life just him being super social and Like accessible for people and then the other thing that he cannot stop saying over and over again is that he doesn't have ads on his.

Oh, you cut out. I could you cut out. So we'll never know what Maddox doesn't have ads on. I tell you that in private over and over and over. I shit you not over 10 over seven times. Maddox mentions that he doesn't run ads on his website in these logs. In these months, months of conversations again and again and again and again. He really is.

Yeah, I mean, it just shows you again that there, there is no character. It's George. Yeah. Uh, and I want nothing to do with them ever again. We will never be friends again. As much as it sucks that the old podcast ended, it sucks worse for me more than anyone, because I not only lost my livelihood, I lost a friend. Two, two, two if you count the Astarios, just kidding, but yeah, he said that.

Two if you count the Astarios. Two if you count the dot, two of you count the dot, dot, a stereos, JK, key, JK, as much as it sucks that the old podcast ended, it sucks worse for me more than anyone. Well, he's because I not only lost my livelihood. I lost a friend.

We were gonna be best man that each other's weddings. I told him that he would be my best man. What the fuck? No, do not, that's, see, that's the, if you really like somebody, if you really like somebody and you're really close with them, do not make them the best man at the wedding. You got to, you know, somebody who, who are you having this wedding for? You need to, like, what? What?

Don't make somebody do work, man. Like, don't, who are you marrying? Again. Yeah, we talked about that wedding, guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was just looking through log to find stuff that would be interesting to read. No, but I'm having this entire thing read,

I might fucking read it. No, that's not as funny. I'll have this entire thing read and then we'll do it in installments. I'll play the fucking Titanic song. Okay, we'll listen to it. Exactly like the old show. Like two different people.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Great. Yeah. You water boy, you can do your lines if you want to. You obviously don't have to. Oh yeah, I have no problem with that. All right, buddy. You got anything that I want to do some Facebook news and then do some voice mails. We haven't done voice mails a long time. True. You got anything that makes me that makes you a rage that you want to or anything you want to It's been a couple of days. I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people.

I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people.

I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people.

I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people. I've been working with a lot of people. Going to school, there'd be people hanging out after school and Mexican flag t-shirts and talking about how they've got family in Mexico and stuff like that. And just out of the blue for no reason, they would criticize me and say that I'm not a real Mexican. Yeah, yeah, Mexican enough. Yeah, you're not black enough. You're not that definitely exists. Yeah, I don't understand what I'm talking about.

I'm trying to touch my mustache. Yeah, I know what you mean. It comes from both ways too. Like I was a luchador on Halloween a couple of years ago and I was walking back from, like Santa Monica Boulevard, you know, they do the big Halloween thing there. Yeah.

I saw Art Man, weirdly enough. I said, hey, man, my dad loves you. I was walking back with the luchidormass and a Mexican flag tied around my neck like a cape. And a bunch of Mexican hoodlums, saw me, they're like wearing wife, they're wearing your wife beaters and pants that don't fit, not dressed up at all for Halloween.

I don't know why they're there anyway, hanging out around a 7-11. And they go, hey man, you better watch that flag. And I turn around like, hey, do you see this fucking must, does this look like a white person's mustache to you, little fucker? Maybe of the two of us?

Yeah. Of the two of us. Let's talk about who's more Mexican. Let's talk about who's representing our race worse. Because right now, it's fucking you. Yeah. So, who's disrespecting our nationality here, sir? Probably not fucking me, the guy with a job who's got clothes that fit him, not a lot of them,

not the guy hanging around outside of a 7-Eleven waiting to harass people. But go fuck yourself, essay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The problem that I have is, if you're saying somebody's not Mexican enough, you're saying that there's a criteria for being part of a race, and I just can't see that criteria not being racist. Well, I don't know what they mean.

I don't know what they mean. Wait a minute. The criteria is DNA. What are you talking about? Well, I mean, that makes sense, but I'm talking about like they'll say, well, you don't speak Spanish, so you're not Mexican or they'll say, you've never been to Mexico, so you're not Mexican. And this is pretty arbitrary. Yeah. Yeah, it seems just like gatekeeping. Yeah. Yeah. You never been mistaken. Have you, when you're Italian though, right? Some

kind of Italian. Only a quarter. Only a quarter. You'd never go around claiming you were Italian like Elizabeth Warren. Well, I would say partially, but that's because it's not, it's not 10 generations back. All right, let's do Facebook. I mean, it is.

Waterboy, so we'll receive your Patreon on still. Yeah, I haven't updated for this month just because I've been drowning in calculus homework, but it's patreon.com slash waterboy. Okay. Fantastic. Thank you, water boy. Good job. Go problem. See you. Thank you for the leaks. Thank you. We're gonna have a lot of fun with those. All right, everybody. And this is the Dix show Dix show patreon.com slash the Dix show. Go get the bonus episode bonus episode 30. It's the phoneiest. It's the phone funniest two hours you'll ever have in your life. It's, I'm gonna go listen to it after the show. I'm gonna go listen to the Godbidges again after the show.

I'll tell you what, I think it's the only show that I've mixed after I did it. Yeah. That I busted up in multiple parts, just listening back. Like I know what was said, but it still struck me as being so fucking funny. I don't think that's ever happened before. It was. Um, here you go. Who here's lawsuit another shit from appallingly appealing. Excuse me. Excuse me. You can then take people to court and litigate and and even if you don't have a chance in hell of winning that case, just because

the laws on the book, you are allowed to take somebody to court and make the case and waste judicial time, waste resources, waste money, just because that law is on the books. And people may use those laws punitively, even if there's no chance in hell of winning that case, just because it exists, they're allowed to take people to court.

In Hollywood, it kind of attracts people who are not pragmatic. You have a lot of dreamers who come out here and they want to be comedians and they want to be artists or they want to be writers and they come out here and they just sit down and they're stubborn and they're proud. Too proud to get a job, too proud to do anything to make a living. And they sit down and they become homeless. They run out of money.

How's that pragmatic? People just sit there and they stubbornly refuse to admit they're not making money. Like, who are you talking about? They're garbage. Are you talking about anyone specific? Well, sure, there are lots of people. Okay. In fact, yeah, there are lots of people. I don't want to name names.

A lot of people think that there are just artists around. It's flying all this ever through a beef. Oh, me. Do we have to talk about this? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. So we're, uh, uh, no, no, no, no. So we're not. Uh, uh, um, um, um, um, right? Um, um, okay? Um, um, um, okay?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Chowry mix real fast. I have tremendous tremendous and I blame Mexico. I blame the leadership of the United States. Ha ha ha ha. All right, this is random. Yeah, all right, all right, all right. As much as I love to listen to it. We love to listen to it. Maddick lawsuit and other shandones.

I guess that was the end other shandones. Thank you. I'm falling. Let's, I'm gonna play the Facebook news right now. That intro was pretty interesting. What's that? George's thing. Yeah, interesting.

Interesting is the word I'd call it. Hello, Dick and hello Dickheads. This is the Facebook Room news for the last couple days. Dickheads were asked to share their strip club horror stories. Addison shared a story where in the champagne room he and the stripper began to bone. Addison took the strippers breast and began suckling the breast. The stripper began to bone. Ascent took the stripper's breast and began suckling the breast.

The stripper had to apologize once Addison realized he had just drank breast milk. John's word for his dick masters are not showing up. James ordered mac and cheese from the stripper club and said it tasted like warm vanilla sugar body lotion. And Dexter used to go to the stripper club every Sunday night to see a friend of his. While there, former porn star Angel Reign also danced. She paid extra attention to Dexter, who wasn't interested and referred to her tits as, quote, silicone war crimes that killed any child he may have had.

And once they after Dexter stopped going to the strip club, the lovely Angel Reign died of a hero in order to- So, next up is Kevin Flint. Kevin posted to the group bragging that he successfully puked in a bouncy house and blamed it on someone else. Kevin Lee drinks with Heveline, says the jumping upset his stomach. After he puked, he immediately exited the bouncy house and found the host. He proceeded to point at another party goer and tell the host, I think they're doing

just puking them. Yeah. Kevin posted a phone and took it off. Oh, with him with another beer and hand, ready to go. until the host, I think they do just fukin' them. Yeah. Having posted a file and a two-go of him with another beer in hand, ready to go. Lastly is Adam Sims, whose vacationing in Japan and decided to give the used panty machines a try. Adam got a pair of clearly used panties,

but the panties he received appeared to be for a child. The other side, pink panties with kitties on them resemble anything but the used panties of a fully grown animated Japanese woman and says he is somewhat disturbed by this but dickhead's think he's lying and have accused him of having a sniffing fetish slash kink for anyone curious you can find these vending machines in japan is adult video stores what the f**k

the show facebook group news for the last couple days it's obviously guys wearing the panties, right? I don't even care. Oh, God. Like, I'm not even thinking about it anymore than I have to. It's definitely guys. Because you can't,

because you can only wear one at a time. So why wouldn't you just make the guy do it? There's gotta be a guy involved. There's, yeah, yeah, I'll put those on. I'll put one around a time. So why wouldn't you just make the guy do it? There's gotta be a guy in bothers. Yeah, yeah, I'll put those on. I'll put one around each leg. Sure. Up and, you know, sure. Let me get the, we had a Rage Lottery winner.

Yeah. Hey buddy, are you there? Hey, man. Hey, hey, hey, how you doing? Good, how are you? Good, congratulations. You won the Rage Lottery for October. Let me find what your submission was.

Oh, I can just tell you what it was, but tell me what it was. It was, yeah, it was like you like not on a tractive celebrity. Okay, and just be known by that character forever. Who do you look like? You guys know Super Bad, right? Yeah. I look like Mick Lovin. Oh, no, everybody loves him. Why would that be bad? Chris, I've been

this place. I thought it works for him. He's cool. Yeah, but being called him forever is not great. Oh, like everybody when you meet him for the first time is, hey, Mick Lovin. What's up, Mick Lovin? Stupid Joe. That's my nickname. Yeah, that's... No one actually knows my real name. I'm McLevin. You must really look like him. Yeah, you got a picture?

Not currently, no. Okay. What's Sean, you got a picture? I would post one, but it looks sick as a dog, so... You know, I get your gear a lot, right? Well, I've actually gotten that, I think once. I've gotten, I've gotten Patrick Dempsey, I've gotten I've gotten, I've gotten, Richard Geer, I've gotten

very attractive. A while ago, I got Edward Norton. I got Edward Norton. Edward Norton. Yeah, a lot of time I get, we're Norton. I got that chick was definitely trying to fuck you, Edward Norton. I got Alan Thick.

Yeah, you look exactly like Alan Thick. Yeah, I could see that. Who else have I got? It could be worse, McLeven. You could get Richard, you could get Edward Norden over here like Sean and Richard Gears. The other day someone said I looked like Kavanaugh. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Were you raping them? Well, that was it afterwards. Afterward. Yeah, Kavanaugh. Yeah. You get some weird dirty talk there, Sean. Yeah. I only get fat guys.

Really? I get Balushi, Elvis, Jack Black, and every time I'm like, Oh, yeah, they're getting fatter. Every year, the celebrity that I look alike is getting a little bit fucking fatter. Will Bruce Vlanch, it's gonna be next year? Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah. Is he dead?

I hope so. All right, I'm gonna play some voicemails. My glove and hang out and talk to us while we listen to voicemails are right. May I congratulate you? Oh, do. Hey, Dick, I'm calling after the email you just read off. I just had to stop the episode. I'm so pissed at the woman

who that how dare you know you say that you all right i just i can't speak that's how it's this one is you say that people need to take personal responsibility for themselves i'm sorry i should have walked out in alleyway flashing cash because i might

get munch you're not saying it's her fault. You're just saying that you need to take care of yourself. People don't get that distinction. That if you get blindly drunk and some murder just decides, oh, hey, I want to kill some me tonight. You look like an easy target. You might get killed. Maybe you should have been so blind drunk. That's all you're saying. It's not about blame or fault and trust me. I know I also have been raped I still take In your face the ability for my actions which led to the rape So this dumb cunch

Who listens to the show, is just being offended, because you say, oh, maybe you should take care of yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to fuck yourself. Don't go look in on yourself, uncovering your drinks, and having to be aware of your surroundings and everything.

It's just called taking personal responsibility. You dumb, content. Oh, wow. Mick Love and what do you think about that? She's really watch out. She's gonna get punched with like a key buckle. Well, really, I don't know if her name is set a key. So apparently they make one that called the tiger claw

that's just for this purpose. Are you gonna suffer tiger, Bob? Like brass knuckles, but yeah gonna suffer, like brass knuckles? But it's like brass knuckles, except that it has giant, that it says DNA collecting spikes that come out of between your fingers. Because you'll get your attackers DNA on your, you know, when you slash at them on your claws.

Yeah, you'll get his DNA on your claws. Jesus Christ. Yeah. It'll get his DNA on your clause. Jesus Christ. Yeah. It's a real complex system. She makes a good point though, like murder. It's like, the thing is, if you get murdered, we can't fix it. Yeah.

So the only thing we can do is stop you from getting murdered. That's it. Yeah, we can't talk to a murder. We can't undo that. No. We can send to 10 lifetimes of prison, it's not gonna help. You can't undo a rape either, as we talked about last week,

but it sucks that you have to take precautions, but you just do, you just do a lot. I mean, it's like you said, it's people, you can't control those people anyway. Anyway, it sucks, but you have to take less precautions than ever. I mean, that's like, that's the whole point. Like, can you imagine the amount of precautions you had to take 100 years ago? 50 years ago, we're getting better.

Absolutely true. Totally. And it wasn't by yelling. That's not what made it better. And I think there's some kind of, I don't know whether it's the media or just social media or it whips things up into a frenzy. And I think there are people who honestly believe that it's getting worse. And I refuse to believe that it's getting worse.

I will tell you it's also this actual revolution has something to do with it. You know what I'm talking about? That is what's causing the murder, is honestly. Yeah. This is from Brynn and B, I guess we'll go. I have to speak up as a woman and then we're done, no, we're done with the topic. Against this other woman you call Z, we should not expect men to be an ally. Men are a frenemy.

And if frenemy they should stay, we want them to be friendly right up until they try to fuck us. If they're attractive, we'll let them. If they're not, we either get raped or get lucky and convince them to back off, or if tractive or rich. She didn't. Yeah. Okay. That said, in my opinion, rape is unfortunate, but natural vestigial traits that men have not lost in evolution. I would say the sex hasn't lost, or the species hasn't lost it. Every rape experience is different, but here is what I learned from mine.

It was absolutely at least 50% my fault. I went on a date with a guy from OKCupid and on the second date was dumb enough to go back to his place because he reminded me of an X who got away. So I felt safe. Yep. I should not have been surprised when he kept refilling my wine glass, which I tried to slip sip slowly. I'm pretty sure he put something in my drink because I'm not a lightweight, and I wasn't able to stand up straight. I have no idea how I got home.

I woke up with a huge hangover I never get. So I do remember the rape itself. How he had his music turned up so loud, his roommate wouldn't hear how he put his hand over my mouth after I tried to yell no and his venex shirt. I was nowhere near that. And his weed smelling audio equipment. And while it's still vivid in my mind,

I can tell you that it doesn't make me feel anything to think or talk about it today. Why therapy? Get some fucking therapy. You crazy women who are so fearful of getting raped and so hung up on past rapes. The therapy that helped me was EMDR. Is that when people open packages to the sound?

And they whisper things. It's like groceries. ASMR. No, EMDR, she says. EMDR. You've slapped that on and you get over your rapes, which is especially useful for trauma victims and PTSD. Aside from therapy, I just accept that it's natural

for men to wanna do this and I don't hate them for it. I myself make rape jokes. That was my Tinder bio. I myself make rape. Yeah, with a little bit of a shittiness. Sophisticated, Ike, emoji. No topic is off limits in one of the few countries with ourself, we're just a little bit of a shuddle, man. It's sophisticated, Ike. Ike. Amoji. No topic is off limits in one of the few countries

with freedom of speech protections. The only thing I do to protect myself is not put myself in bad situations. I always carry a gun with a CCW, of course. If you still get raped, Maddox gets catchphrased, then you know you did what you could and you still alive to tell about it.

Just let the rape jokes happen. Get some humility, stop being a victim. Do not expect men to come to your rescue when they are torn between wanting to be the hero and also wanting to fuck you. That's true too. Mario doesn't get to the end of that game, and then, peace goes now.

Just get a peace of the kid. Yeah, right? He's like, oh, thank God, my boyfriend's on his way. I'm not saying that Princess Peach owes Mario's sex. I'm just saying that that's not what happens in that game for that reason. Yeah. Because we would go, fuck this came, right?

Yeah. You don't have to be, no one should be shy about that. Like, oh, fuck. The guy's Italian. You can make that joke. Not really. Not Italian enough. Oh, sorry, Mario.

My boyfriend's in another castle. I'm going over to the bottom right now. Like, what the fuck is this shit? We have to take responsibility for ourselves at least until all men become soy boys, in which case I'm going to Greenland. All right, let's, let's, let's, let's, I grew with Yolanda Greenland at that point.

Yeah, let's, if all men become soy boys, you're going to Greenland. Yep. Okay. Before, like, yes, that percentage like hips up like straight to Greenland. Well, they're about to get a huge population in. Hello, my name is Neil Patrick Cherish. Okay. And I am one one thousand twenty four

part NPC. Oh, oh, oh, recently my people were slaughtered on Twitter by the white man. And I know that asterios is in hiding because he is afraid of getting slaughtered too. Because he is part NPC. This is why he can't help but shout without thinking it through first, but it also makes him good at improv. Okay. Mysterios, please, please help us join Antifa and help us alter a way to banning assault rifles. All right. Help join male feminists and roundhouse kick women until they legalize mid-sea

section abortions. Come to this country that. Okay. Pay for by the NPC guy, NPCs for an America. For an America. Yeah. Nice. Jesus Christ. See you. Hey, this is the Norton 12 year old here. Well, actually, I'm a college student.

And you make me a rage when people refuse to take no for an answer. Like, I'm specifically speaking because people keep offering me stuff that I don't want. Like, oh, you ran out of gas, let me just pay for your fucking shit. Let me see your gas full tank. Here you go. What would they do that? You know why? Because I'm made of a steak and I got to live with it. I am trying to live like a homeless man here because I am in college and I can do whatever the fuck I want to. But you know, you've got to pay for my gas because you don't want me to walk in an hour and a half

home every night. Fuck you! This is completely sincere and I mean it. Fuck you! Quit offering me shit. I'm not going to hang out with you just because you're paying for my guess. Well actually I probably am. This is a male. I feel fucking obligated to and it kisses me to close off. Yeah, he's right about that. I got to know what college he goes to. He's right about that. I feel like I want this guy's life.

Yeah. Any time somebody, even if it's just like a bag of chips, he's none, none, none, no, because I know this is kind of a string that's to be susceptible to some kind of reciprocation in the future. But get it out of here. Even somebody hands me money. I slap it out of their hand. No, I know what you mean.

I know what you mean. I don't want to feel like I am obligated to. Absolutely not. I don't feel like you're going to accept the free stuff. I just want to be offered him. You do? Yeah. No one offers beef free shit.

Yeah. And it gets old. I must get old. Women get offered free shit all the time and they're not happy. Oh, all right. Hey, Deke, I got a rage. This motherfucker who says I shouldn't shit on the clock. First off, these institutions dictate over 50% of my fuss and waking lives.

I'm gonna steal my five bucks for them and take a shit when I get to work. Second off, are you fucking Vincent Adult Man? You got beatings to go to? Good for you, pal. I'll be kidding. Good for you, pal. Good for you, guy. Good for you, pal. I'll be shit and responsibilities. That's his catchphrase at work. I'll be shit. Hey, we got a time we got a meeting in 10 minutes.

Oh, yeah. Maybe for you. I'll be shit and shit. All right. Here's what makes me a subtle rage. It's watching my girlfriend open the door when we get home. Yeah, I got away from her to stumble with the keys and there's two lies that the dead one on the door knob lock and she can't do either of them from the first try.

No, it's getting the keys. No. Getting the lock first of all. No. Doesn't know which way to turn each time. It'll turn it quite enough. You're not going to have to have to have her out with the door. I got my red flag right right. Dead build is still locked. I'm a lower corner of the door. No, doesn't know which way to turn each time Turn it

I got my dead build is still locked I'm a lower corner of the door Just give me a little bit of pressure so that the moment that the locks are done I can push the door open not not a wasted second In turn the bottom one the the door knob key put it in and you turn the knob as you unlock it saving another Pressure you turn the knob as you unlock it, saving another pressure second. You know, I'm gonna, instead when she does it, not only does it take a long time, but she stands in the doorway looking at her phone and slowly rock,

like tiny little baby steps that she's looking at her. I'm carrying her on her first hand. I'm just feeling like you. I'm just sitting there. I'm not alone today. Yeah. She's got a bag of chips.

I got two pallets of water, two toilet paper under the arm. And I gotta take a show. I gotta take my shit Oh, they can't figure out that door Oh I have a home you have to do urban. Oh hold on. Let me see if I have my keys What were you what were you doing? What were you doing for the 40 minute ride home? You had 40 minutes to get your keys out for this inevitable door opening.

This is in no gold star for you today. This is in the fucking DNA. We've got a chart. I am convinced of this. I've got a short chart for the day. Door openings, big empty space for today. For the door openings. That, big empty space for today, for the door openings. That guy gets a gold star.

Well done, sir. Why do you have to look at the keys? Don't you know, by the way, they feel, at this point, which is the house key? The don't you, don't stab at the non-deadbolt one. When the deadbolt one, what are you, well, she can't identify the right key until it's put into a Wolverine claw.

Yeah. Maybe that's the problem. That's the one by the middle finger. Got it. Okay, good. Now I know. Now I know. You can avoid being raped, pretend to be Wolverine

and you can open the door at the same time. Just fit the, fit the deadbolt on the top and the other one on the other finger. That way. One, two. You're ready if someone's hiding in your house. You know what, this is another Kickstarter invention for women, the anti-rape, anti,

that's it, just rape, don't, door lock, where it's shaped with three keys on it, so you can load up. Yeah. Women get, we'll get all charged up to come home, fish the keys out of their fucking bag, walk up, looking over their shoulder, and then right when they get to the door, a little guy will pop up like a shooting guy go, rape, ah, let's have up in the stab at them and unlock the door.

That's how they do it. Because otherwise, nothing will incentivize them to open the door properly. Schlag better get on that shit or quick said. No, okay, whatever you guys, either one of you can do it. Ha, get in there. Oh, thank you, honey. Now I can carry the groceries in.

Very good. You got just a water to your here. It's the subtle, you're fine. It's the subtle, you got keys. Every time you pull into the drive way, you know? That last the subtle, you got keys. Every time you pull into the driveway, you know? That last slowing down, you got, do you have keys? Do you have keys? Oh, oh, she is that, do I?

Do I have, oh, let me see. Let me just see here. Okay, I searched for my purse. I'm grinding my teeth over. Hahaha. Go, go, go, go, go, go! I gotta go right, not safe for women after that. It's a good one. So don't be a chapter?

Yeah, I'll throw you a chapter. No, I mean, is that don't be the tired chapter just y'all about this? Yes, yes, it is. Let me see the tired chapter? Just y'all about this? Yes, yes, it is. Let me see one more. We'll do Andrew from Eugene, Oregon. Okay.

The Dixiel, what makes me rage is, what's with all the information? Okay, look, I'm going to brag a little bit. I'm looking good. I'm looking better than I ever have in my life at 31. I've got apps. It's fantastic. And I'm working for it. Working really fucking hard.

But what makes me rage is, what I was younger, I remember getting out of military and reading a spuck an article. And some starship website, probably not helping in post-it, some stupid college pieces, shit. Weathe the fucking time, rag, cover it, shit. Doesn't fucking matter. Look, I read there, there's stuff up in like, oh, you shouldn't do crutches, you shouldn't do, you shouldn't do sit ups, because it doesn't really do anything for your abs.

It just damages them. I'm like, well, God, I guess fine. I mean, the fucking men helped them. That's why I shouldn't do it right. Yeah. Shit. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, Why you just talking about misinformation? It's not like I write that on like a satire or a troll site. It's like some fucking guy would get the better of me. It was some peaches shit. We got the new idea of fucking talking about. And maybe I don't fucking know.

I just like why is it all this information out there? Like, oh, you shouldn't do this. That's good for you. You probably shouldn't do that. Oh, you want to, you want to get healthier? You're probably using 12 carbs a day. Like, it's such fucking bullshit. Yeah, it's, I want a magazine that's like,

excuse is not to have health and fitness. Not health and fitness magazine. And excuses to not have health and fitness. Or the opposite of men's fitness magazine, where it's just reasons why you shouldn't be doing the exercises. Benchress? Oh, that's a bad one.

Yeah, you could really, you could really fuck up your shoulders with that. Don't do that one. You want to stretch for about seven hours before you do your exercises. Right. The most important thing, and then go sit on the bench.

That's enough. Near the weights. Water, you drink too much water, you're gonna die. Yeah, pretty much. Don't drink any water. Yeah, you'll drink. Yeah, you'll drink.

People, over 300 people a year drowned. You know, what the leading cause of drowning is, that would be water. Yeah. Anti-men's fitness magazine. There you go. I think you part that. You can't do crunches.

They'll tear up, they're very bad for your back, your posture, you'll tear up your stomach. Okay, I'll just go back to sitting on the couch then. Thanks. Thanks for talking. Talk me out of it magazine. That's what it is. And this issue, we're talking you out of writing a book. Sure.

Today, in this month's issue, we're talking you out of hosting a Christmas party. Right. And then it's just bad. Full of demotivating art. To see motive. Oh, hey, that reminds me. Somebody sent in this calendar. And then we're done.

I really wish that magazine was a special thing. It could be. Why don't you start it? Started. Dear Dick, I hope you find this motivational calendar useful for tracking your antics each day. You can assume all the blank days or days you were blackout drunk. I hope the motivational messages give you Sean and life coach a new perspective each month. This is from IRC, Twitter Dick had death anchor. Sorry for the late send, the calendar starts with October 2017,

but they delivered it to me too late. This says in 2018 calendar. Wow. The demotivators, 20 and thought, weird. Yeah. So, okay, what is it? We're not satisfied until you're not satisfied. Just scared.

Now, you know, somebody like me loves this. Yeah, yeah. Keep living life like there's no tomorrow and you'll be right sooner than you think. That's good. Politics, a nation divided against itself cannot stand to hear what other lunatics are trying to say. So what that says.

Excellent. Dream small. It's your only hope of success, really. Very nice. Thank you, Deathanker. All right, everybody. That's great. That's it.

Mick Loven, thank you for calling in. Congratulations on the lottery. You will not need to send me an avatar picture for the website. Oh. I know I'm going for this one. I know I'm going to go for this one. I know I'm going for this one. All right, buddy.

I have a good picture. Yeah. And just because I feel like I didn't contribute much, I have a small story about the demolition man. Okay. Let's see what's that invitation. Yeah. So I just, I'm in college, so I just got this girl from like a couple weeks ago.

What's the, what does she look like? What's Ken's situation? She's Filipino, so they're not that great, but they're still pretty good. It looks like a good handful. All right, all right, all right. I'll take it. And, but we like to have movie nights like once a week.

I've decided to put on Demoman. Mm-hmm. One thing I do another, she started giving me a blowjob. And watching Demoman and having a blowjob, terrible idea. Why? You came too fast. I asked for it. No, because I, I, I, like, we got to do

Shracto's movie. I was just watching it. It's a blowjob. It's a blowjob turned into a blow well fair. I thought you just stopped working and started staring at the screen. Or just started laughing and chomping down. Oh no, she wasn't watching at all.

I was watching it. She was totally into it. She wasn't watching the movie at all. The wrong movie can't fuck up your sexy time. Yeah, well, anything that distracts you like that. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't really like because I watched it when you guys did the vacation. I thought it wouldn't be that distracting. The movie it's that'll be a good thing to watch. Yeah. You got to

you got to sneak in the volume. Sneak in the mute. Sneak in the low volume, right? That's it. Hey, oh, that's it, you know what, that's a tip. If you're trying to, if you're trying to put the moves on a girl, just slowly turn that volume down all night, every 10 minutes, boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop. That's feeling a feature for Alexa. Here's start going on, start turning that TV volume. Automatic, yeah, that's not really an Alexa feature.

That's more of a, what, I don know what are you rapy version of Alexa is. Siri. Siri. Siri. feature. All right, buddy. Get out of here. See you. Okay. Thank you. Thanks for being on. Yeah. cripple Jesus. Turn from a blowjob into a low job. Get it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. All right, everybody. See you. Blowjob into a low job. Get it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was funny. All right, everybody. See you.