The Dick Show - Episode 13 – Dick on Fat Rock

Episode Date: August 30, 2016

Download the MP3 I have a piss fiasco and try to push the borders of mansplaining, Sean discusses awkward, Dr. Fakeman calls in with an update on Hillary Clinton’s health, I bring in the actual biggest problem in the universe, my man calls in from the desert, I send a call out to fellow fingernail … Continue reading "Episode 13 – Dick on Fat Rock" The post Episode 13 – Dick on Fat Rock appeared first on The Dick Show.

Yeah, welcome to Dick. You love Dick. You want Dick. You need more Dick. You got it. Somebody says dick. You need more dick. You got it. Somebody says I'm overdoing the jazz. Somebody called in and said I got too many jazz. I think that's your thing.

I'm doing jazz all over the place and it's like a spice. They say you got to tone down the spice. You can't just, you can't just, yeah, who am I, Lenny Kravitz? That's what they're saying. I got to tone down me. I want that fucking terrible song. Yeah, yeah. Like, he hit it on a button, right?

Well, yeah, I was just the same sample triggered over and over again. That's like the least human records I've ever heard. How can you be a musician? I hate Leningrad. Why? Because he has the fakes soul I've ever heard. What? What do you mean the fakes soul?

It's just like he's, God, I don't know, man. He's just like the fakes soul? It's just like he's, God, I don't know, man. He's just like, it's so easy. See, like the fake is so easy. It's so easy. He's all style and no substance. I'll tell you, he's a mile wide and an inch deep. When I was a kid, when I was a kid, I didn't think of him as a real person. Like when I saw, he just seemed like a Simone type of computer generated rock star.

Because he came to prominence when we were young, when I was much younger than you, I'm like four years younger than you. Yeah, you wrote like fucking 10 records about Lisa Bonet leaving him. Who is, that's an an actress. That's a good an actress. A coffee show girl. Yeah, when he came to prominence, like everything I saw of him, I thought he was some kind of a fake man.

Like I would see this, I thought he was a mascot, like the Kool-Aid man. Well, you're like, oh, there's that half black guy, like, promotes doing a song, like doing his massively record-produced label song. I mean, you know what's funny is kids, kids are really intuitive like that. Like you sniffed something fake and you were right. Yeah. They should do all focus groups just through kids. Like kids will fucking- They cut out the bullshammer you man. They're like dogs. Well, they know who somebody walks in the room and they got a bad vibe.

They get it. I think that's why dad humor is so good and of my fate. And I think that dad humor, dad jokes, like we're making some halibut just for the halibut. So those are, they're really the best jokes because they're honed and crafted by the worst, most vicious critics in the world that hates you and hate everything you stand. They preemptively hate you

for everything that you're gonna have done to them in their lives. Actually, that's true. Yeah, anyway, we're getting off on what makes me a rage already. Let me get it. Well, let me crack, like for some reason, what makes me a rage already. Lenny Kravitz. Yeah, Lenny Kravitz, for some reason, he's really fucking annoying. Anyway, he just, I don't know, you're sick today and you're still full of piss and piss

on one. I love it. Lenny Kravitz, there's very few artists or songs that will make me change the radio immediately. Like a Lenny Kravitz. One of them is Lenny Kravitz, another one is Rush. Oh, you don't like Rush? No. No, no, no, no.

You don't like that? No, that's fucked. I find Rush. They're like, they're like people with fantastic vocabularies. And I don't give a shit about a single sentence they ever wrote. Yeah, like a guy who's using words that he knows, you don't know. Like just for the sake, because I'll throw out a big word every once in a while, but only if the context makes it obvious

that you know the word I'm talking about. Yeah, like I don't want to, I'll use the word, but honestly, it doesn't matter what the word is. Like I could be one of the, I could have a prison vocabulary and just start throwing out like that's presumptuous. Like throw out any word you want. It doesn't matter as long as it fits in I can have a prison vocabulary and just start throwing out, like that's presumptuous.

Throw out any word you want. It doesn't matter as long as it fits in with the flow of the sentence, fuck off. It's fine. That's like, what are you showing off for? Like these people showing off their big words. Oh, we get it. We get it with your, with your, now what?

Now I gotta ask you what that means. Now I gotta go look it up later. Now you're making me learn something. Fuck, that's perfect. How do they? Fuck you. That's, that's home on We're Riding, making another man go look.

That fuck you. All right, anyway. Oh, God. Oh, God, great. I'm gonna die. We should do an all sick show. It's a lucky, lucky 13. This is show 13.

I'm your host, Dick Masterson. Welcome to the Dick Show. With me is always is Sean, my audio engineer. Oh, hey, what's up? I'm reading the comments. I'm not a drummer. I played drums. Yeah, you're a good type of person.

God, that theme song just gets me so amped up. That's where all the jazz come from. That fucking theme song gets me more amped up to start raging than he, like I don't even think I need to prepare. I just need to kick that theme song on in my mind and the rage just starts shooting out of me like a WWF Fireworks show. I could actually see it. Yeah, I could see it when it starts.

I'll tell you what makes me rage this week. I'm gonna get to it. Last, I got a couple things to go through. Let's see, where did I write down here? Man's planning I wanna talk about. Maybe a little bit about the alt, right? I've got a bomb calling in, a caller, a caller who's gonna drop a bomb on us.

Really? Oh, this is huge. This is gonna define media narratives, I believe. Somebody is gonna drop some secret insider information on this podcast. And this is where they went first. And this is where they went first because this is the show where you can say anything.

That's true. It's the only show out there where you can say anything and not have a bunch of Warby Parker glasses wearing fucks sit across from you and adjust in their seats because their assholes are tightening up like a balloon. Like, we, you know, you see, you say anything, anything in entertain, you say something,

a little bit off color to anybody in entertainment and everybody's cheeks, everybody's ass cheeks, pull apart like a balloon that's squeaking. YEEE, you know what I'm talking about? Did we talk about that thing that Alan had to apologize for? Keeping celebrity apologies in mind, but what? What did you have to apologize for? She photoshopped her, somebody photoshopped her, like writing you saying bolt, like he was

like giving her a piggyback ride and she's like, this is how I run my errands now. Yeah. And like people were like, it's totally racist. It's like what? She's saying the guy is fucking fast. Nobody ever rode around on black people. She's like, oh, see, you just wanna jump on him like a mule? It was like, it's fucking insane.

It's absolutely insane. Like, usually I'm like, oh God, they're gonna say what they're gonna say, but that shit was like, no, you're the racist. Fuck you. It is racist. It's racist to co-opt everything, like anything that makes you feel uncomfortable is not

that person's fault for doing that. But where do you get all of them? She's saying he's fast instead of taking a really, instead of taking like a Maserati, she's taking you saying, Bull, because he's fast. That's what he does. That's all she's saying. That's what he wants to be known as. Yeah. The fastest man he's saying. That's what he wants to be known as. Yeah.

The fastest man in the world. Anyway. It's like this. No sense of humor at all anymore. None. You know, I'm going to skip ahead a little bit. I was going to get to this, but I don't like to start off on a political bent. I think what you're saying is the reason the Hillary Clinton is going to give a big

alt-right speech today. She gave a big alt-right speech last week. I got to record this episode early because I'm making my annual pilgrimage to Burning Man, which it couldn't come soon enough. The week, the weeks, and the months leading up to Burning Man for me, I feel like a tighter and tighter ball of rage every day. Like leading a month up to Burning Man, I feel as I'm walking around,

I feel like I could at any moment, grab someone's throat, lift them off the ground like the undertaker and plant them through the cement. So there's just a comical cartoonish outline of them. And then, and I would just disappear. I would explode like a phoenix, and a baby would be born from me.

In that rageful slam, that throat slam, I would vanish, and a little baby, like a hateful little lizard, would spring out of my heart, and start hissing at everyone, and then scamper off into the bushes, and 35 years later, I would spawn out of that. But that's how I feel building up to it. I swear to God, I want to track my progress this

year. Going to Burning Man, I'm going to bring Man tomorrow. I'm going to record an episode. I'm going to record the next episode with my man at Burning Man. I'm sure that will be rife with catastrophic audio fuck out. Well, probably. You're out the dirt. I'm sure that will be rife with catastrophic audio fuck up. Well, probably. You're out of dirt. I'm taking his doon for it. What's this show for? This shows for next Tuesday while I'm there. Okay.

Because I can't record, I'm not gonna rely on recording there and sending it in. I want to do it in advance and post it online while I'm there. Then what, the burning man up is gonna air the following? Yeah, the following. I'm gonna get back to you. We're gonna punch it up. We're gonna cut out all the, any of the goofy stuff, any of this stammering,

right, anything where I give it. We're gonna punch it up and throw it up on you. Anyway, when I get back every year, I really want to chart my overall mood rage meter for the day or the week and just watch the graph over the entire year of the smiley face. You know when you go to the doctor and the little chart says indicate what level of pain you're in.

Every fucking day, I want to wake up and stabbed a little bit. That guy with the exes for eyes. And this is the week. This is all the time. This is all the time. This is all the time I feel it. I wake up today and I'm like, what's gonna get fucked up today? Please, please show me what's gonna get fucked up.

What, what fresh hell is happening today? I'm already at a 10, 10, 10, 10, 10. But when I get back, man, I am, I am Jack Smirking Revenge. I am, I am Mr. Slide. I am the penguin sliding across the cool, cool ice. I'm so cool and collected. I don't care. You know, I don't care.

Nothing's making me rich. Play all the Lenny Cravids you want. I'll karaoke a Lenny Cravids. Fuck it, I don't care. How long does that last? That's what I want to know. Yeah. Because it definitely, at some point in the year,

that little smiley face, like that flip book of that pain smiley face that the doctor gives you, shifts from that happy face, flip, flip, flip, flip, it crosses the Y-axis, and that little mouth starts turning upside down. Well, I was going to say, you said sometime during the year, I was going to say sometime during the following week. I don't think so. No, I think I get a good six weeks out sometime during the year, I was going to say sometime during the following week. I don't think so. No, I think I get a good six weeks out of it.

Oh no, that's my guess. That's my over under on the, on the guess. Okay, so this is what, this is what's made me a rage this week. I went to Guns and Roses. Yeah, last week. The band that would never get back together because it's not in this lifetime.

Right, is that what somebody said? That was the name of the tour, not in this lifetime. Well, they said, they're never going to happen, Not in this lifetime. Right. Is that what somebody said? That was the name of the tour. Not in this lifetime. Well, they said they're never never going to happen. Not in this lifetime. Right. Man, what a fucking show. This we used to be you and I used to be in a band. Uh huh. We had the wrong dream. I figured out what the real rock and roll dream is. Really? It's not it's not getting up in front of 60,000 people and jamming your balls off and then having like a dozen chicks waiting to soap you up backstage. It's not being this drunken maniac

who's going on huge drug-fueled binges. Like, it's not what the real dream of rock and roll is what is the real dream of rock and roll real dream of rock and roll that i witnessed last weekend at the guns and roses concert yeah is being fatter than hell oh my god and still coming out to throngs of tens of thousands of these guys axel and slash they come out looking like planets.

Like, they waddle out. They waddle out like the twins from, what is that movie where the people are trapped in a house and everything's trying to kill them? They waddle, they stomp out. Slash, first of all, slash is so huge and gigantic and muscular that he looks like a fat, I can't even tell because he's so big. He looks like an X-man because that guy didn't change the way he looked for like two decades.

It's impossible to tell because he looks like just a shroud of awesome rockery, but both of them, but Axel's walking around the stage, he's singing like a demon, yet he's walking around like a pregnant woman, resting a drink on her tits. You know what I'm saying? I know what you're saying. But he said, but it's still, they don't give a shit. Like, still with the outfit changes, and of course, the stuff that they're buying, the outfit changes that they're slipping into, they don't sell things in women's maternity clothes.

No. They just make it for people who they want to be seen wearing their things. So slashes, they're coming out with these things that are pulled up above their stomach. Okay. And these like cartoonish baby Huey wrap arounds, but they don't give a fuck, man.

No, because people have That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's-

That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's- That's Oh, Duff, Duff, Duff McAgan. Duff McAgan. You know what? And junior high, my, my music teacher was his brother, Matthew. And junior high school. Duff has a brother. Duff's brother? Yeah, Matthew McAgan. Duff. He was a cool guy and that was when they were the shit too.

He's fit his hell. Oh no, because he stopped drinking and doing drugs. He rides like a mountain bike like 50 miles a day or some shit like that. You know what? Not as impressive. What I wanna see, and that's what I realize, that's the rock and roll dream. Just, you get fatter than Elvis was awesome

because he was fat as fuck, and he would come out and rock it. That's what you, Duff's fucking up. Cause he looks, I mean, he looks like a buff AIDS patient. You get old, you get old as a man. I know, you get kind of sinewy, huh? You start looking like my fratelli. Cause like they're all in their fifties now, I think.

Yeah, yeah, they're doing this. But you need, you need that walrus coating around you to stop from getting that AIDS patient. Well, when you get older, fat makes you look a little younger. You don't get as many wrinkles and stuff, I think. Anyway, that's not what made me rage. Okay. What made me, I'm at this, that's not what made me rage. Okay. What made me, I'm at this, I'm at this Guns n' Roses show with 80s girl getting sauceed out

of my mind. Like I'm gonna have, first of all, they play a three hour show. Yeah. Un-un-believeable. Well, that's great because actually used to walk off after about 50 minutes before. I mean, he was so fucking, I get the feeling he's making up for something. No, he probably, he's probably a lot more mature now. Well, yeah. Um, he did. He fucked fans a lot. This is what, this is what makes me, this one made me a rage about the concert.

I go into the bathroom. I cracked the seal after like the first 10 beers. Yeah. I head into the bathroom. Right. And they got, you remember the trough, you remember the piss trough, how beautiful that was. I would describe that to women and they couldn't believe it. You know what, like wait, you guys all just stand there next to each other and just piss. It was a big trough. Yeah, it's like, yeah, I don't wanna get off on a tangent.

Sure you do. But that is why mansplaining exists. Because women still sit down to piss. As soon as women figure out a way to get that, because we got, guys got that knocked. We're not sitting down to piss. That's why we gotta explain everything. That's right.

Look, what are you doing? What are you doing sitting down? Figure it out. Figure it out. Figure out, get some kind of, get some kind of system. Get some, you know, when I, here's what I do when I mansplain. Right, because this is why women hate man-splaining.

Because it's the greatest and most fun thing to do in the world. For a man. All right. Is it not, it is, it is my favorite thing. When I sense, when my spidey sense starts tingling and I think I might get to man-splplain something. I go, I got to take a minute. I got to take, I take a minute, I go into the other room, I put on like a special

mansplaining suit. I put on like a Victorian with a, with a, a, a, a dickie with one of those little puffy things. I pull my hair back, I put little white mansplaining gloves on, I make a whole thing at it. I'm like, oh, baby. Oh, here we go. But right before the concert, before we go to the guns and roses concert, 80s girl says to me, hey, hey, there's something, I need your help. I'm like, okay, there might be some, I'm intrigued.

There might be some man, I know to come to me with any kind of help request is a big deal. Because guys like to fix shit. Yeah, and I'm also notoriously, I'm a notorious thumper. I'm a notorious asshole about it. You don't get out for free. It's your defining characteristic. I'm not the guy who wants to help.

I'll help you, but it will cost you. I'm like Rumpelstilt Skin. You'll get your pound of flesh. I'll get it, I'll get it.. I'm like Rumpel Stilt Skin. You'll get your pound of flesh. I'll get it, I'll get it. You tell me what this is worth to you. I'll figure it out. And I'll charge you that much with my condescending man's planning.

So she comes to me and says, Oh, I need you help. I fixed this thing on my car, but there's still something wrong with it. Okay. And I said, hold on. Yeah, I need it. I need to take. Okay. And I said, hold on. Yeah. I need it.

I need a minute. I need to take a minute. This is gonna be a doozy. You fix it. You say you fixed it. This thing. This thing, this imaginary thing. Yeah.

But there's still something wrong with it. Okay. Okay, hold on. So I go in the other room and I suit up. I put on my jog purrs. I put on my riding jacket. What, this is my Jodper's. My jog purrs.

Those tight pants with the flappy things on the thighs. Really? I have a whole Victorian outfit that I wear while I'm man-splaining. Sonoma. If I'm never gonna be man-splaining to anyone. And guys, we do this to each other all the time. Like, this is the way, this is the default way

that men talk to each other. My dad was showing my nephew some pictures of space just to get him interested in space the other week. So he shows him a picture of a man getting out of a lunar module and walking on the moon and my nephew goes, all the soundstage. Everybody knows that. I'm a soundstage, everyone knows that.

That's when my dad says, he goes, my nephew goes, oh, Papa, what's, what's that? And my dad goes, oh, that's the first man on the moon. And that opened up an entire world all the time. I went, I went, I get that feeling. I get that shivery feeling in my bones. I gotta go into the other room. I strap on my jobpers, I buckle up my boots,

I look like a pilgrim when I do man-splaining. I go into the other room and I gain about 70 pounds because I put on a jacket, jogpers, I put on a hat, I wig, I put on some powdery makeup, I put on a big man-splaining wig. How long does this stand? And then it takes about an hour and a half, but it's worth it.

You just tell everybody, just stay put. I'll be back. I'll be back and you guys will know why, and it'll be worth Everybody, I'll be back. And you guys, you guys will know why. And it'll be worth it. Because I'll explain something. Push that lunch back. So I come out with my man explaining Kane, looking like an aristocrat, like tap the, tapping the ground.

Ahem, ahem, okay. Everybody gather around here, gather. And like how you're like a Victorian character explaining a man on the moon. Because I want to be as condescending as possible Yeah, and that is that character type that archetype is the most the most condescending spot Okay, so I everyone gather around gather around Excuse me, but if that was the first man on the moon Who took the picture

A tap tap tap tap tap, tap, tap, tap. Then I go into the other room and take it. So this is, so she says to me, she says to me, there's something wrong with my, I fixed something with my car, but it's still broken. That's the line, that's the line. I fixed something my car, but it's still broken. So I say, oh, oh, oh, I'm tapping my little cane.

I can't, I cannot wait to hear this. We go out to see what's wrong. The tire pressure gauge, the light for the tire pressure, is on. Okay. And I say, well, what do you mean, which tire is it? What's the tire pressure? It's like, tire, I thought I was missing half a cookie. She says, well, I already filled,

I already filled it up though. And so, well, which one is it? What is the, what did the gauge tell you? There's no gauge. I don't know, I don't have one of those gauges. Okay. So what did, so what did, tell me what you did? Lock me through what you did so I can,

before I go put on my white gloves and my cane and my job presents stuff, you can, you can prevent this. And she goes, well, I saw the light turn on. So I just went to the gas station and filled a tire up. Just a random tire. Just a random tire up. So I say, well, oh baby, you have just made my day. I'm going to spend about 40 minutes man-. Yeah. Why, what you did was wrong.

Why there's a gauge built into the air pump at the gas station. How they legally have to get turned the air on. How did, and if you purchase gas, not, no, no. Legally they have to turn it on no matter what. Really? I'm gonna do some mansplaining to you, right? No, because I always see the official sticker where it's like California state law says

you have to provide free air and water with the purchase of motor fuel. Nothing. You just walk in there and say, turn it on. Here's the thing. I have always done that. Yeah, they'll do it. They'll say it's gonna work. I'm like, oh yeah, no problem. So I say, you've given me the greatest service in the world. So I go around checking her tires. Sure enough, I find the one the dud. Right? I get it in there. So I go around checking her tires. Sure enough, I find the one the dud. I get it in there.

But I go to one of the tires, and it's about three PS, it's cranking about 48. The max is 45. So I'm like, wait a minute, let me get this straight. You went around just picking one randomly and plugging it in and inflating it.

That if you picked the wrong one, you could've blown your goddamn car up. This is where the man's explaining, now I'm man's explaining for safety and for life. And there's nothing better than taking that high road. The tire you plug it into does not redistribute the air to the ones that need it. No, they're not linked.

Now, I don't care. Just take care of it. Okay, okay, okay. Anyway, back to Guine's and Roses. You remember the trough. Yeah, of course. That we all used to pissing. It was fucking perfect, Sean. Was it not the most perfect system in the world?

It was because it was the most efficient because you could get in there. You're not limited by the number of urinals that are on the wall. You choose your own adventure. When the stadium is packed, when people need to piss, when guys need to piss,

they're gonna make certain sacrifices, like maybe accidentally brushing up another guy's elbows. And you know what? There's a camaraderie in it. I don't know if this is weird to say, but you get nice and sauce, and you're enjoying an aggressive game on the field.

I like cuddling up in there. And well, I'm, because it feels good to pee. Okay. It feels good. Yeah, well it does. Maybe this is a huge mistake to say, but it feels kind of fucking good to get in there with other dudes and let that pee rip. Yeah, well, rip and piss. It doesn't need to be an isolated activity.

I don't mind a little contact, especially if I've been sauce, Qualcomm. Brand new, this is, welcome to the future. Welcome to the future where there is no more trough. So Qualcomm, Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego is to be Jack Murphy, where the Padres played, now it's Qualcomm. Brand new, everything's state of the art,

everything's beautiful. Okay. But there's no trough, man. Nobody has a trough anymore. The lack of a trough. When you've got hundreds of guys pissing into urinals. You understand? Urinals.

The difference between, the trough was like a bucket. Like your piss had to fly a foot and a half to hit the end of that bucket. There was no splash back. No. Guys, pissing it, guys holding it as long as possible. So they can see every second of these fat ogres rocking their tits off with a paradise city or a patient.

So sweet child of mine, oh my god, it was amazing. These guys waiting till the last minute to go into the bathroom and spray piss super soakers into what is essentially a wall turned that place into a monsoon of piss for my sandals. It was fucking disgusting. I was standing, I was like a ballerina in front of the urinal on my very tiptoes like rose in the basement in the very bottom of Titanic when she impresses all those mouth-breathing fugs with her ballet acumen.

You know, I've never seen Titanic. Oh, we should watch it. I should watch it and do a commentary on it. Anyway, that's what she goes into the basement to impress all these Irish retort. All these Irish retort, I'm trying not to say retort anymore because a listener wrote me, I think it was Terry, the same guy I talked about last week, the beautiful dickhead who's running interference on with the shenanigans mad expelling. He wrote me and said his girlfriend cringes when I say it.

Yeah, look, I don't wanna make his life hard. I'm making enough people's lives hard as it is. I'm gonna get to that later in the episode, but I'm doing nothing. I don't think anybody's using it for people with mental disabilities. It's come to mean something else. I really, the last thing I would do

is make fun of somebody with mental disabilities. Really, Look, the last thing I would do is make fun of somebody with mental disabilities. Really, that's the last thing you would do. Third, the last thing I would do. Third, the last thing I would do. Yeah, of course. It's just offensive to sound. It makes people cringe.

I know. There's a lot of words I don't use because you make people cringe. Well, you know. So what? I'm trying. I'm trying here. I'm trying here. Give it a ring go. I'm trying I'm trying here. I'm trying here a little ring go

I'm trying I'm trying to make this a better listening experience So you and your girlfriend can hear about me getting pissed on my feet getting pissed on by 30 guys Who are too drunk to even hit the urinal like that man that trough you were in lockstep if you start falling back Some dude would wrap his arm in your arm like you're at a country western dance. Like you're like you're line dancing and they would whip you right in that you're, but these the fucking urinals,

it was like a pig pen of piss on all over my feet. And you know that I don't wear shoes, which would make it worse because you can't ever wash that out of shoes. But I swear to God, I'm sitting there in the urinal, I'm sitting there in the bathroom in front of these urinals, feeling like I'm an umpire

at a baseball game, and another coach is screaming at me and kicking sand on my feet, except instead of sand, instead of baseball dirt, it's piss that he's kicking into my feet. It's like this constant fog, this mist rolling in. It is. Because they are effectively pissing into a wall from about a foot away.

Why did they change it? I don't know. Why did they change it? Why did they change anything? I don't know. Why does anything have to be modern? It was fucking perfect. It was fucking perfect.

But they blew it. Yeah. That was what made, but they blew it. That was what made me a rage in guns and roses. It wasn't even the constant recording, man. You know how people just pull their phones out and record everything? It just depresses me now. But it's like, how is that experience?

You're gonna show somebody else, like shitty iPhone audio of an experience. You got a live experience, it's still the live experience is still the live experience. You're not gonna capture that on a fucking phone. Unless there's some kind of crazy, you know, pyrotechnics or something like that, but it's like, what, you're missing by recording it, you're missing the fucking event.

No, I know, and I'm sitting there criticizing everyone for doing that, but then I'm looking at the giant jumbo, Tron. It's almost like everybody wants to watch themselves at an event. Like that would be- With the jumbo Tron, I can see because it's so much larger. You wanna see exactly what's going on up there. And if you're way back, you know,

you're not gonna see, you can pick them out as people, but you're not gonna see exactly what's going on. It's beautiful too. It's zoomed in right on, it's zoomed in right on everything. Shout out like a professional TV. The cameras are incredible. Nothing, nothing like what this show is shout out like.

But that's, I think that is the ideal viewing experience for a lot of people, which is not even, not watching the event, not even watching the event on their phones, but watching themselves watching the event, not even watching the event on their phones, but watching themselves watch the event. That's where I think it's going. Like you've got a drone following you around and what you watch on your screen is a view,

is a shot of the drone looking at you enjoying the experience. That's the future. It's people at a talk show. It's people at a live studio taping, watching the monitor so they can look at themselves. You think we're just so conditioned to watch things on devices?

Like, have that intermediary there? I don't know. I think people just love it. Oh, yeah. I think people just love it. All right. I want to get to the bombshell this episode before it gets too late. Let me see if I can get this guy on the phone. This is a real interesting character who's calling it.

It's a caller, it's a caller, yeah. All right, I'm gonna go while I wait and one other thing's making me rage. I'm getting a back list of this, of this rage shit again. I gotta get it out. I gotta get it out while I'm still impassioned with hatred before burning man sucks it out of me. Fair enough.

This is what makes me rage. Fingernails. Fingernails. Fingernails, yeah. First of all, what good, when's the last time you've used your fucking fingernails for anything? I always say-

I always say- I always say- I always say- I always say- I always say- I always say- I always say- I always say- I always say-

I always say- I always say- I always say- I always say- I always say- I always say- I always say- I always say- I always say-

I always say- I always say- I always say- I always say- I always say- I always say- do it, right? Generally not. No, women don't chew their nails because they're sophisticated and they don't have oral fixations because they don't have a lot of repressed homosexuality. Whatever, whatever, they don't do it and they fucking catch you chewing your fingernails all the time. Yeah. Or that little bit of skin between your finger and the finger nail itself. I was sitting around and bunch of people were talking about,

you know, typical LA conversation, bunch of people were talking about adopting cats, and I was ready to just put a squirt gun to the side of my head and blow my fucking ass. And soak my brains with all the piss that I soaked up a Qualcomm stadium. And somebody said, somebody makes a statement, oh, you can oh, they test you

when you're adopting a cat to make sure you're not gonna declaw it. Like if you adopt a cat, the Humane Society will say, well, how do you feel about declawing? And if you say, yeah, if you just go, no cat, yeah, yeah, if you go, it seems to make sense. Like it's better than letting the cat ride in a cage or putting it to sleep, right?

If you say that, no, no, no. So long, a dog is for you. Maybe try a fish. No cat for you, go get a rock. We're keeping all these are our cats. We're not letting you adopt one of our cats. And they said, well, you know, they say it's like getting your fingernail.

Your fingernails ripped off. They say it's like getting your fingernails amputated. And my first thought is good. What the fuck, what do I need these stupid fingernails for? First of all, they look dumb. First of all, I'm chewing them all the time like a baby with an oral fixation. I'm sitting there chewing,

knowing it my fingernails day and night. I wake up with my hand, crammed down my throat, because I want to chew all five fingernails at once. What do you do? What do you do? And then what do you do when you chew them off? You've got fingernails sitting in piles around your house.

Yeah. You've got little, like you're a squirrel, hoarding nuts. You're hoarding discarded fingernails all around your house that you're trying to, you've got like a treasure map where you've mapped out all the locations where you have fingernail piles in your house so that when a woman comes over, you can go through quickly like the goonies

and find all of your stash of fingernails and wipe them into the trash. This is something that all men do. I know everyone's gonna jump on me because it's disgusting, but every fucking one of us either choose our fingernails off and tears them off or uses a tone knife or some kind of like knife situation

to get it started and then rip them off and then throw them on the coffee table and say, Jesus God, I hope I remember to throw that away before a woman comes over. Because they're gonna be disgusted by it. So that's problem number one with fingernails. Problem number two, hang nails. Yeah.

What the hell are you supposed to do with a hang nail? It haunts you, man, it's like a three week reminder of your fuck up. Anytime you try to type, anytime you try to grip anything that fucking hang nail is there like a herpy. Like a herpy on your hand, reminding you of your extreme lack of willpower that you can't get through the day without chewing through your hand

like some kind of 128 hours type of animal stuck in a trap that you're gnawing away at these fingernails. And there's nothing you can do about it. Once you're in, you're fucked. A hang nail is like a really insane woman that you don't want wanna have sex with, but then you do and you're like, great, what did I sign up for?

I signed up, I signed up for two weeks of this at least. I gotta put up with two weeks of this at least. Just again, why did I do that? Why did I do that again? What's wrong with me? Can I help yourself? No, you can't have it. If, look, look, you know what,

take the fingernails, give me something that I could use with these goddamn things. God, give me a screwdriver or something. Give me a flat head screwdriver. Give me a plus screwdriver. Whatever, I want them to be functional like that. I want them to be functional in any way. Right now, they're just pieces of wax paper

embedded in the tips of my hands that do nothing but cause pain and embarrass me. Okay. That's my problem with fingernails. That's what's, that's what I've seen a lot of thought. Oh, well, thank God. Maybe this guy can answer, but I'm going to give the special guest the call right now. There we go.

Hello, sir, are you there? Yes, I'm here. Is this, is this dick? Yes, this is, this is dick. I understand you've got some kind of a bomb shell to deliver. I mean, I don't know that I use a phrase like that, but it's just, look, I'm a doctor on Hillary's medical team and she is not getting the care she deserves. There's a lot about her medical state, her current medical condition that people don't know. And I keep trying to tell the doctors above me, like, you got to treat this stuff, but nobody's

listening. So I have to go to the media. Okay. Let me give some background on that. Just so everybody understands what we're talking about because this is a big deal. Questions of Hillary Clinton's health have been circling around in the last week. And you know, Sean, you know that I've been saying this for like eight months. A long time.

That I think she's going to get on stage in that first debate. And she is going to have a stroke and shit her pants so much that her depends overflow. And they're going to have to call a TV time out just to mop up the stage. That's what I mean, that's exactly what happened when she debated Bernie Sanders. I mean, remember that huge diarrhea flood that happened? That's what I thought. Why? Because why else? Why else would she need the bathroom clear during that debate? To change a diaper. Exactly. To change a diaper. That's what. So, Dr. And what is the medical condition is called diureitis? And it's really bad.

I've actually been in the room a few times with her when that's happened. And let me just tell you, we all keep extra pairs of socks around. Yeah, I'd imagine. For Hillary, she says she doesn't explode on you? Well, yeah, I mean, they're medical socks, but they're definitely, I mean, it gets, I've gone through about five pairs of shoes. Oh, I see. What is your name so we can fact check which doctor you are?

So, you know, everyone's, everyone's very critical of any news that goes against Hillary. Like if you challenge her health, they jump down your throat, they tell you you're sexes, even though they were doing the same thing with McCain, they tell Trump to release his taxes every fucking day. It's nobody's business what your taxes are. All right, it's a precedent that's been set. Just because every president for the past four decades has done it, why does a mean Trump has to do it?

It's a good question. It's because it's something that people expect. You know, people don't expect, you know, someone as cool and as fun as Donald Trump. I mean, he's given us what we don't expect, you know what I is cool and his phone is Donald Trump. I mean, he's given us what we don't expect, you know what I mean, he's keeping us guessing. Yeah, much like this interview. What is your now? You are. Listen, listen, you know, you said that a lot of doctors, you know, are getting a lot of crap. I mean, Dr. Drew, one of the greatest doctors in the

history of the medical profession. I'm not sure if you saw his star turn in the Olsen twins movie. Olsen twins lost in the city where he played their dad. But if you can't trust Dr. Drew, who can you trust? No, I agree with that. I hear that you're saying it sarcastically, but I actually do agree with that. So, castically, I'm a medical doctor here, sir. I'm calling it great personal risk, okay? Hillary could walk into this room with any minute, and it would be a fudge factory.

You're okay? Ha, ha, ha, ha. So, why are you doing this then? Why are you putting yourself- I'm worried about our health, okay? Because no one is taking me seriously. For one, I've been examining your X-rays, her blood work, MRI, bone density readings,

and no one is listening to my findings. In my excellent condition. What did you find? I found a condition. She's got a clear cut medical case of crime addiction. Crime addiction, yeah. I believe that is there. She addicted to crop.

It's a medical condition. The sweet sticky smell of crime. You would have those thrilled that you only get from setting up a private email server powered entirely by treason. Yeah. That's what she's got. Oh God. Crime addiction is terrible.

Guess what the firewall was made out of. What was the fire wall made out of? Shredded American flags and John Wayne's desecrated corpse. Mm. That's bad. And I mean, really desecrated too. He really went to town on that thing.

She needs medical help. Look, I'm not gonna say what was carved into John Wayne's penis. He's not with her. That's all I'm not going to say what was carved into John Wayne's penis. He's not with her. That's all I'm going to say. And this is your medical opinion. This is my expert medical opinion. Yes. Okay. Well, what else is, what do you think is, is actually wrong with you know, her glasses, I know, got brought up. Those for no lenses that she wears because she has brain damage. Do you hear about that? I did. I did. I did.

No, we're gonna get to that a little later. I'm gonna talk some more about her crime addiction. Well, how much later? Okay, what's her crime addiction problem? Anyway, listen, her crime addiction is so bad that she swapped out all the American weapons at Benghazi with Nerf guns. He'll be old saying it's Nerf or it's nothing.

Yeah, the terrorists don't know that phrase. They brought like machine guns and stuff. Now although one of the terrorists did get hit in the eye pretty badly with a suction cup dart, so I guess that's one for Hillary, but it's definitely a lot more for the terrorists. That's true, that's true. That's true. That's true. Crime addiction and the worst thing about her crime addiction is it's given her an eating disorder.

She can't stop eating money. I know that's true. I'm asking a serious question here. Sure. Yes. Okay. like what i'm asking a serious question here why yes okay she's got she's got the clinton foundation which exists so so foreign dignitaries in rich lobbyist rich co-company's can flat out pay money to a to a quote unquote charity like they don't they're not under the same rules that lobbyists are they don't have to disclose how much

money they're paying to this charity like they do with lobbyists. And she's flat out they said what 50% of the people she met with as secretary of state were donors to this quote unquote charity. First of all, how much money do you need? Like if you're if you're trying to cash in on some kind of political power, why keep it running forever? Like, just, she said, what would it take? That's why I'm, what would it take for anyone to say?

All right, she's, she's set up an email server, recklessly. Right. And danger, like just throwing all classified communications to the wind because everybody, everybody knows. Everybody at home knows that you put that up there on its own, it's instantly hacked. Like there's no need, there's no need to debate it.

There's no need for that FBI guy to go testify before Convertone, whether or not anybody's, they're all out there, they're all scattered into the fucking wind. It's like, like, you would anybody else, and you've anybody else you know did that. You would say, you, well, you've instantly just thrown, like, oh, I put my, I just sent nude pictures to a guy.

What's the big deal? Well, they're out there. Yeah. They're out there. Like, oh, I just have my own email server. What's the big deal? So then she goes, she says in response to, we're very suspicious of why half of the people you've met with

as Secretary of State have given your quote unquote charity that does things a number of other charities could do. Huge sums of cash. What are you going to do about it? First response, there's nothing wrong with what I did. Second response, if I'm president with what I did. Second response, if I'm president, I'll stop doing that. How the fuck does that fly? Like, what is it gonna take? Doesn't that mean you're definitely doing something wrong? If you're gonna stop

doing it once you're president, what was wrong with it when you're secretary of state then? Like what? Where the hell is anybody's sense in this? What would it take? What would it take to turn people off to that compulsive and constant criminal behavior? Because it doesn't, here's my point. It does excuse me. I believe it's called crime addiction. What would, what would it take, Dr. I'm glad you called in about this. What would it take to get more people to listen to this climate? Because at this point, I don't think it's necessarily, I don't think it's an end game thing.

Like, I don't think she's looking for that big score. They're already rich. Like, what's the point of keeping the bank open? What's the point of keeping the donations coming in? If they're already that rich, it's a compulsive criminal addiction. I mean, this is a, this started out as a joke, but I actually think it's true. It's like psychotic criminal thinking

that makes you think no matter what, you've got to protect and control every piece of your endeavor. There's no way these emails can be accessible by anyone else. Everything, there's no fuck democracy. There's no channels of government that I want to go through to get anything accomplished. I just want money to go into my pocket and then I'll do whatever you say or I won't do what you say. I'll keep the gates open. So, and by the way, if they shut it down when she's president why keep it open now? Yeah Why would they broadcast to the whole world?

Hey, by the way world if you want any influence when she's president you better send in those checks right fucking now Though I just realized how brilliant it is that Bill Clinton went out and said if she's president You will shut it down because that means whether or not she's president, they're going to get a front load of an ass load of money from all of them. Now, listen. Go ahead. I'm sorry. I interrupted you, doctor.

I know that you're probably equally angry about the Donald J Trump foundation. No, I'm not. I mean, foundation that we know is just from soup I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I don't know. There's just something about Donald J Trump. Why did they just inspire us? Why did they mean?

Why didn't they give it directly to the foundation then? Why did they give it to the Clinton foundation to then split up as she saw fit? Like why don't they just hang out with it? Because you get to hang out with Bill Clinton. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. Oh, fuck you. They could do that either way. Dr. Pony.

Dr. Pony. What is your name by the way, Dr. So I can address you kind of could do that either way. Doctor, what is your name, by the way, Doctor? So I can address you kind of sending me with your name. Or aggressively with your name. Let's go with Doctor incognito secretman. Okay, so he's Jewish, great, good doctor. So Doctor's secretman. What time? Yeah, why couldn't they just do that for free? They didn't need to handle the money. I'm kind of like, yeah, why couldn't they just do that for free?

They didn't need to handle the money. I'm back anyway. What else have you called it into drop a bombshell on Hillary's? We can talk about the Clinton Foundation and the Trump Foundation all day, but that's not going to make poor Hillary better. And that's what I'm calling. Look, let's move past her crime addiction. Just look at some of her current medical treatments,

prison glasses for her concussion, the anti-collagulant wafering, armor thyroid is supposed to synthetic hormones. Now, all these point to one thing and one thing only, arthritis of the secret penis. Now, the arthritis of the secret penis. Common knowledge that Hillary Clinton has a secret penis that she only uses to humiliate and terrify her husband?

Yeah. But sadly, Hillary's dick is developed a crippling case of rheumatoid arthritis. And honestly, this is something that only happens to the biggest, baddest, and most rock hard of cocks. In fact, there's only three cases of it on record. Hillary Clinton, the pornographic film star George Cox stands up. And you're truly... And you're truly... I knew it.

I knew this was a fucking get problem. This is a backdoor trick for this doctor to try to convince Skyes that Hillary Clinton has a dick, so they'll feel comfortable voting for her. This is a scam. This is a scam. This is a scam. She can barely use it to scare her husband anymore.

This is a scam. Look, I don't know what would I be gaining out of this scam. Now look, she's got one more problem. It's a huge one. Now, as you well know, she's suffering from early onset Alzheimer's and generalized dementia. Yeah. Okay, now normally that wouldn early onset Alzheimer's and generalized dementia. Yeah. Okay, now normally that wouldn't be a problem for a president. I mean, Reagan was one of the greatest presidents of all time, and one time he tried to eat

a cat because he thought he was Al. But this is causing that's ironic. Oh, that's our. What? Hello? So there must have been some static. No, I hear you. I hear you. That was laughter.

That was laughter. OK. Why don't you know what this is? I'm sorry. This is a serious situation. Right. Now, as we all know, this wouldn't cause a problem for a president,

but it's causing huge problems for Hillary as a secret murderer. OK. Hillary's committed dozens of secret murderers. I have heard about her secret murder. She has the doggal stepwitch. No, I have heard about her secret murder. Is that a no if I believe all those?

So you're saying that they definitely happened? That there's definitely secret murder? Are you kidding me? She seems to go to me for advice. And what drugs to use to murder people? And I would tell her, Hillary, come on, you know more about this than I do. You're just being nice to me. And she'd go, no, no, no, should I inject someone with a syringe full of just pure

oxygen? Or should I, should I grind up that, that one barrier that I saw in that episode of breaking bad? And I said, Hillary, murders like improv. You just got to go with the flow baby Or don't do it. That's the that's the That's that's the slogan murder is like improv don't don't do it under any it should be illegal It should be more illegal than it is if you're doing it here's here's now Here's how murder is like improv if you're're doing it, do it with a real gun. So it gets done and you never have to do it again.

That's so that- So you don't want to pretend that you're just holding a piece of air that's shaped like a gun? No, no, I don't want to do that. All right, Dr. Yabby, any other bombshells for us? Well, but here's the thing. All she wants to do is kill, kill, kill. But her dementia's getting in the way the other day

she tried to kill a dance he can't pain leaker with a banana and she can't be hitting it with the banana and he can't say whatever he wanted he wanted why are you supposed to get me into the back of me? Oh, why would someone get the medical help she needs to service me? My little, who's standing between her and ex a little power? Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Well, I'll see what we can do. You're taking this very hard dock. It's just so hard to see what your patient slips so far away. We used to call her the Al-Uncert Jr. of Marders. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I don't even know what that means. I'm hearing some...

Oh no. Oh no, she's coming down the hallway. Yeah. Everybody, put out your skull again. Oh, was that worth it? The buildup? Those were bombshells. Well, they were.

She had all kinds of afflictions that I had no idea she had. Yeah, you knew about the ones she had, like the brain damage and the Alzheimer's and the mood altering medication and the hormones and these types of things. But the filling up of, you know, child's waiting pool areas with liquid shit.

I know, I mean, I mean, I'm about that. Well, you know what I'm gonna do? I've been, I've, I've, real, after the last episode, which by the way, everybody loved. I thought it was a good episode. You thought it was a good, I did. Everyone also thought I put you in a shitty spot,

which is nothing new to you, of course. I've lived my life in a shitty spot. Yeah, people are emailing me privately, like, oh man, is it awkward for Sean to be put in that position? Well, but here's like, I'm not responsible for what you say or don't say. Yeah. I'm just here having a good time, basically.

I hope you are. Cause I know I do, because I enjoy doing podcasts. It's something I never thought I would do. No one ever thinks they're gonna say that, right? No one ever thinks they're gonna say they enjoy doing podcasts, but here you are. Yeah. Yeah.

Anyway, I got a lot of good feedback on the episode last week, but I think I did fuck one thing up. I think that I should be putting these guys on the board, on the rage board, more often. So here's what happened last week for I'm gonna get to the comments. Now I've changed the format a little bit. Now I lead with the rage and I get to the comments

in the middle of the episode. I don't know if you know that. That's my new format. I've noticed that. People listen to the show, they don't know if you know that. That's my, that's my new format. I've noticed that. People listen to the show. They don't want to hear a bunch of comments up front of shit. They don't know what you're talking about. No, that's true. That was a good move. I think. It's like lions talking. You ever heard hear that, hear that, that's not experiment? Yeah. Lions talking. It's like lions talking. No. So if lions could talk, the, the, the thought

experiment is even if they could talk, even if they had the physiology and the biology to make human sounds and communicate, ugly, what they would say and the type of speech they would use, the things that they would talk about. It's not interesting. We wouldn't even be able to understand it. Like they would speak in metaph... This is the thought experiment is like, what would they... what are they interested in and what would they be talking about? They do they do nothing but sleep all day you can't have a conversation with a lion about your toes and your feet getting pissed all over

Like a shitty umpire at a baseball game. No, they don't want to talk about that. They're talking about me They're talking about their barbed-dicks. I don't know what they're talking about But that's the that people join the podcast, people listen for the first time, they don't want to, you don't want it to sound like Lyon's talking. Really? Cause they're gonna be, they're saying,

who the fuck is this guy, Sovesh that you're talking about? Yeah. Why is this idiot talking about Sovesh for 10 minutes? Sovesh, I thought, I thought that guy did a great job. Very hard on himself. He was hard on himself. He was very hard on himself. He posted on Reddit. for 10 minutes, right? Sovash, I thought, I thought that guy did a great job. Very hard on himself. He was hard on himself.

He was very hard on himself. He posted on Reddit. He called in for any of those people who do think it's like Lions talking. Listeners Sovash, who spends, who puts together these great write-ups that are summaries of another listener who calls in with questions and who he doesn't like, who thinks he's a detriment to the show, he writes synopsies so that other listeners can skip him or they can see which ones

they want to listen to and which they don't want to listen to. Okay. So, Sovash wrote a, he started a thread and read it. Let me see what it's, yeah, here's the name of the thread. And I'm quoting here, I would never say these types of things. So, the thread on Reddit is called Sovash is a fag and ruined and otherwise awesome broadcast with his shouting and nonsense.

I didn't think that was true. He wasn't shouting, was he? No, I didn't think that was true. But he got into, he posted basically, I'll, I'll try to summarize it, and everybody hates being summarized, but I tried to do the best I can with it. So, Vash called in to air grievances on Dustin. Yeah. Who is the, the Facebook guy? So, Vash is the Reddit guy. He's a guy from Reddit, right? And we were busting his chops by saying he was the, he was the rep for all of Reddit. He spoke for all of Reddit.

But just because it, he, he, he, he, he, he was distracted to it. And it's absurd. And we're just busting balls, right? But his basic point was he didn't think he got his points out. And he was distracted by the, by the personal questions, by the banter. He was, I was asking. Here's, here's one thing I've learned about life. It's way more improv than I ever thought.

What do you mean? I mean, I would imagine he probably had, it's scripted out in his head how he thought that interview would go. And when it didn't, you know, I mean, you're not going to get to say everything you want to say all the time. Well, that's how I feel after every show. But he did have two years of shows on the biggest problem. Even this one, like everything, every show I have ever done,

I felt like I got through about 5% of my material. I know what you mean. If I posted the little running orders, the little outlines I make before all of these shows online after every show, you would probably be able to cross out like three of the 10 things that I got through on the list. Well, I think from his perspective, though, he probably, you know, he thought he was calling

in just for the valid points and he wanted to get all those valid points so he could make a strong argument. Whatever his reason was for calling in, I hope that he feels good about it because I think too many people, too many people with who are capable of doing a lot more than they think, overthink it. And script, like I'm talking about, I'll talk specifically about approaching women and talking to women because let's be honest, that's what everybody cares about. But we'll say approaching women at the top, we're approaching men. I don't know.

Maybe that's the thing too. Who the fuck knows? Some people do it. I don't know. If I was a chick, I would think that like trying to lure dudes over, trying, I would think that the, that after the introduction, that the part that women would overthink is the keeping the guy interested. You know, it goes, it's like, it's like my sign, cosine theory on men and women in attraction.

Like you're, you're interest and your need to attract the opposite sex is never, is never at the same valley in the same peak. Like when you're, when you're a guy, the approach, that's the nerve-wracking part and the part that you've got to focus on. And then it wanes, it starts to wane or it just doesn't occupy every fiber of your being. Like at once did, but then a woman, I think once she's in that phase,

then her interest starts to peak a little bit. Like it's this constant sine wave. And when a relationship ends, it's because both, have both the waves have overlap. And they're both negative. Like that's what happens. And they're a little bit out of phase. The waves are a little bit out of phase,

but I do think there's, I think it's different. Like I think it's definitely something that guys psyched themselves up into, approach like having an entire scripted conversation of how do I talk to a woman going up and saying, like going through this list, like a script, and they talked themselves out of it because that's never going to happen. Like, it's who said everybody has a game plan until you get hit? Mike Tyson was, I got Mike Tyson update too.

Apparently, the license for Mike Tyson's punch out had expired. Had nothing to do with the rape. Oh, because I said that last week. So coach was right. Coach was right. Okay. As he always fucking is that, but I don't mind being the go ahead. That's what I like about coach.

If he's going to talk authoritatively on a topic, you know he has researched his shit. Oh, yeah. Like to, to the letter, definitely, and he can, he can, he's quoted Supreme Court case. No, I know. He knows exactly wrong with you. Why don't you just check with the fine is if you do this. Yeah, and where's that going to get you? All these stupid facts and shitty.

I don't mind being the guy that when I get any news at all, I immediately jump down someone's throat and assume that it's because of some kind of politically correct overreaching government bureaucracy. Yeah, but that's not that far fetch to think. I know. And you need it. You need it because those people will take advantage of my life coaches, studious nature.

Okay. Of his studious and receptive and slow thinking nature. You need like a guy who's gonna say, you get some water poured for you at a restaurant and you're like, what the fuck is this for? What is this for? What are you saying here? You say, why am I not allowed to have an empty water glass?

What's your problem, lady? What are you bringing this water over here for? Is this some kind of sexist thing? Is this some, am I getting chastised for some, anything? No matter what, I don't know, jump down, anyway. So so Vash, I thought he did a great job. He had to be hard on himself though. Well, I think that's, I think most people will do that.

Most people are hard on themselves, I think, probably unnecessarily, but he got points out, he got his observations out. So here's where I fucked up. Okay. I fucked up. Okay. I fucked up by not putting those guys on the board. I think that's what I'm gonna do from now on. Okay. So if they're interested, if Sovosh wants to call back in and let us know what makes him

a rage, I want to put him and Dustin on the board. Okay. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Because everything's a rage. I want to put him and Dustin on the board. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Because everything's a contest. Like I just want to, there's no, you don't get any closure when you go, when you, when you go on a show like this and talk about something and then it's over. Right? Like, you know, that doesn't, that give you any closure. He can't, he gives himself a seven out of 10 on the experience, but he doesn't see, you can't tell, you can't tell how the voting wins. Well, he rated his girlfriend too. That's probably a whole other can of worms.

She gets closure because she knows where her number is, but he didn't get any closure out of it. You think those sign waves are gonna overlap? I mean, I don't know who can say. Who can say, I don't know. Who expects that question anyway? I don't even expect it. I just want to know what is in a person's head.

Like I want to know, if you're a guy who's writing these synopsies every week of what another guy's doing, I want to know what your life is like. I want to know, it's a sickness that I have. I just want to know what's going on in people's minds. Like, I have to do it. I don't know.

That's right. So if so, Vosch wants to call back in. And if, of course, I'm assuming Dustin wants to be involved in this, but I want both of those guys to get their rage out and then we'll put them on the board and we'll see how everyone did. We'll see how everyone did.

You know, I should have done the same for my life coach too. Maybe I'll do it. What was that guy's name, Dr. Cockin' Balls, who just called in? Dr. Secret. Dr. Secretman? Yeah, maybe I'll put him on the board too. I don't know.

I don't know. That's the new plan. Okay. Here I got some, I'm gonna call, I'm gonna get my man in here. To talk about what we're doing at Burning Man next week. You heard about him in a year. Me either, but I wanna get through,

I wanna read one of these comments first. Okay. A lot of, I mean, a lot of people send emails in, but I just don't feel, they're vicious, they're vicious. I appreciate them, but I don't know if I feel comfortable reading them, because I ripped on Maddox a lot in the last episode, because I thought that bonus episode shit is flat out theft. I think it is flat out intellectual property theft.

Just because you give something away that's not yours doesn't mean it still is in thievery. And I'm addressing this to you, you Sean. You don't have to know what deals are made. I don't know, I don't want to know any of that. Somebody, I'm just gonna, a lot of people share your opinion. A lot of people don't.

It's a divisive thing. Some people don't want to hear shit talking. They're very offended by it. I'm not talking about, even about that. I don't want to know literally the facts about anything. I mean, that's how it's like a ridiculous statement. No, I totally agree with you. I totally agree with you. About the inner workings of, you know, when it comes to finances, all that kind of stuff.

Yeah. No, I understand what you're saying. I'll let you guys sort out the facts. It's, some people are very interested in it though. Oh, no, I'm sure they are. Judging by the last response I get, because the biggest problem had this really shit. I thought a really bad quality of not letting anything get out on the air. Like even the Titanic stuff, any of the, any of the behind the scenes stuff, the stuff that got edited out, like the way the talking about the edits would get edited out, like I think a lot of the reason

that people are so interested in it is because of that tight iron like Soviet curtain grip on anything personal getting into the old show. So I think that's part of the reason that people are so interested in, but I'm just going to read this one comment because this guy summed it up. This guy summed it up in a way that I think a lot of people are feeling. Dick, you were saying you don't have a term that describes Maddox's behavior. Well, I do. I worked in a juvenile rehabilitation incarceration,

which was basically summer camp. And the teenage boys we had at our camp were inner city kids from Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, and Erie, Pennsylvania. Some of these kids were merely doing their rehabilitation program so they could get back home and avoid further criminal trouble while others continued to be leaders and what could be described as very low-grade criminal enterprises, such as controlling the flow of contraband and organizing beatings. The term the senior staff had for this behavior is scheming. And it's pretty obvious. These kids were smarter than they looked, but not as hard as they pretended to be.

They put off an air of benevolence while controlling all the behavior of the other kids. And most telling, we couldn't hold them accountable for bad behavior because they'd never get caught doing it. This is Maddox to a tee, and every time you peel back the curtain, the fans hold him accountable for his scheming. You're a hell of a cock tease about it, but I and I'm sure other fans appreciate when the truth comes to life. Keep up the good work and go fuck yourself.

Chairman Ham, again, great emails. I'm glad the live show idea has its foot in the door. The next step is convincing you to take it on the road then after that bringing that to these. I bring it in because we've got no guest, hysterios obviously called in. And we, yeah, I don't know that doctor. I'm pretty sure it was hysterios.

Pulling one over on, it's probably got a fake Skype account and whatever. It was Dustin, I thought. You thought that was Dustin? Oh yeah. Definitely sounded like him. We should have those two compete too. We have no guests, as you can see.

Sorry. I've, no, it's not you. It's just an unlucky 13th episode. There were some cancellations. People couldn't call on there. Things to do. But the thing that has really started to get to me, I asked Ron Babcock to come on the show.

And his response, I like Ron. Me too, I love him, great, great guy. Yeah. It's a good guest. Very funny, great guest. I thought it'd be fun, you know, come on here and we'll talk and we'll talk about bullshit and then you go on your way.

He's a comedy guy. I'm sure he, that's what comedy guys thrive on exposure. He's a stand-up, he's got things to sell. I think he just filmed a live show in Austin, if I'm not mistaken. Well, I would have loved to hear about it, but his response was typical of responses that I'm getting on this show,

which is I'm doing things, I would love to, but I'm doing things with Maddox and I don't wanna get in between anything. So no. So flat out no. And the business part of me understands that that's always got to be, you always got to look out for number one. You always got to be making decisions that you think can get you ahead in life. Yeah, sure. He's got no one else is going to look out for number one. No one like what am I going to do?

I'm he's going to come on and who the fuck knows what I'm going to say. Well, yeah, no, you can count on me saying something that you that a normal entertainment person cannot put out on their Twitter. This is probably fair. Like go listen to this show I'm on, and I'm making jokes about trading Disneyland for Mecca. Right. You can't, it makes, it gets the asshole tightened. Yet again, everybody gets their asshole tightened. So I understand it.

But the other part of me thinks, man, fuck you. It's this very visceral part of me thinks, man, fuck you. It's this very visceral part of me that we everybody has to shut down all day, every day. Like, that's what being a member of society is, is keeping that part of you quiet. But it's not fuck you to him. But just fuck you to him, but just, phone, who fuck you to the whole thing? That whole mindset, that whole mindset of these little Tim Chang tried to pull it a little bit

and it pissed me off a little bit there, but I get it because Tim is young. He's coming on. He is, he said he's coming on, but he's gotta make his Kanye killer first, his album. He said he can only come on. I mean, he's a, you know, he's a young man in Los Angeles.

He doesn't have time for an hour to kill. He doesn't have time to come on podcasts and sit there and do dine to my drop-ins every couple of minutes. He doesn't have this kind of time. He's got to be at home channeling his chi for this album he's dropping. But the, the, the Ron thing to me, it's, it says a lot to me that guys like Esterios will still come on this show

and be involved in this show when there is some specter floating above them, floating in the ether. There is been, there has been communicated some idea of punishment. That is the simplest way I can express that. Cause Ron is, he's got, maybe it's just me, right? Maybe on the one hand, maybe I'm just toxic and poison

and nobody wants to be associated with, maybe this doesn't wanna come on. But, but there is also that other, that other but, that alternative to me that says, what the fuck, what is the deal with that? Why does, why do people feel this pressure, this pressure that there's, that help, that coming on this show and being involved with this show in any way will hurt their ability to get on the Indiana Jones purse network. It's this, there's this this this protocol around it. I'm having

an Obama moment, but there's this sick protocol where competing at the at the smallest stakes like as great as all of these shows are the stakes really are small. That's why that bonus episode made me such a rage last week because the stakes are so fucking small and yet even at that level, even at the level where the stakes are minuscule where they're like a libertarian government. You can barely see them. The stakes are there. Even then, people are willing to just say, ah, fuck you. That's what makes me.

So I am appreciative of guys like hysteria's. And it doubly annoys me. When I hear a stereosis life, his personal life, and people who come and show their personal lives are getting fucked with by other listeners like at that point It's yeah, I get it. I'm a bad guy. I think bad stuff is funny Like you know, I'm on the I'm in I'm down with the memes I'm down with all the 4 Chan memes of people getting their lives fucked. I get it

I get it But it just pisses me off that it's happening to in my mind the wrong people. Okay. That's all I'm that that has annoyed me a little bit this week. That's all I'll say about this. I'm going to I'm going to try to get my man on the phone. I got a news babe update. I'm going to try to get my man on the phone because I want to talk about what we're doing at Burning Man. And then I'm gonna place him voicemails. Dustin's got a week off. So Vash also, I hope he's recuperating

after that first bout, but I do hope he calls back in. Let me try to get my man on the phone. All right. I've got a special caller on the line. It's taken way too much technology to make this happen, by the way. I've got a computer in front of me. I've got a computer on my lap.

I've got cables going both ways. I feel like I'm writing a motorcycle. I've got a computer in front of me. I've got a computer on my lap. I've got cables going both ways. I feel like I'm riding a motorcycle. I had this motorcycle in college that was the same way. I got it from $300 for a big bike. You remember that? Like Pacoimar or something? And I had to rewind the stator and then I messed it up. So I had to put alligator clips across from the battery

to the starter just to get it home because I parked in a dorm somewhere. Fucked it up. Try to start it up next to that. Next thing you know, you got, there's nothing more shameful than a broken motorcycle. Like it's sitting there,

it goes from being a trophy of your dick. It goes from being like the most masculine, awesome trophy you can have to being a trophy of your failure. That goes from being like the most masculine, awesome trophy you can have to being a trophy of your failure. That's what a motorcycle is, and then it's sat in my driveway forever until I unloaded it on my life coach. Interesting. The other story.

Yeah, my man's on the line. My man, how you doing? You're already a burning man. I am already a burning man. I am in the middle of the desert, half i'm i'm a suspenders guy now i put on some suspenders earlier in the drive and turns out fuck belts uh... you discuss

you disgusting degenerate don't you dare talk about about the belt on the show so look i wanted to say next week we're going to be doing a broadcast from burning man and i want to give it a theme either we're gonna find are you okay with that how do you feel about that we're doing a broadcast from Burning Man, and I wanna give it a theme. Either we're gonna, are you okay with that? How do you feel about that? We're doing a show from Burning Man. That should be exciting. Not the first show, not the first show that my man and I have done at Burning Man.

Couple years ago, we did a talk show at Burning Man after eating about a dictionary of acid. Jesus. Like that was, and we'll tell that story next week, because this is getting a little long already, but we're going to be doing a show there. You and I are going to be going around and trying to find either the biggest rage at Burning Man, what makes it a big, or perhaps the biggest douchebag at Burning Man. Oh, okay.

Like, I figure if we ask people, who's the biggest douchebag at Burning Man, maybe we'll find him. Don't you have to go, you know, near the helicopter landing area? I'm trying to find the biggest douchebag in Burning Man maybe we'll find him don't you have to go you know near the helicopter landing area uh... biggest douchebag we might be i'm here at our campsite and there's a good chance that we might be camp right next to them uh... really why do you say that we get more to that why do you say that give us a give us a tease why do you say that well if you know the dpw uh... What do you say that? Well, it's the DPW. Oh. The guys that come out here and they dig the dirt up and they act like it's their shit show to run.

So, yeah. Okay. It could be there. That could be where it is. Steven, I had an altercation with the authorities at Burning Man. Was that last year or the year before that? I think it was last year. You know, even in a place like that where everyone is chill,

I still find a way to get kicked out of a bar. Like, I will still find the asshole at a bar who wants to be Johnny Big, Johnny Law. Mr. Supercock, who's whipping his will around, or in this case, Mrs. Supercock. So we'll talk about that, but I really do want to find, I want to find the biggest douchebag at Burning Man and then kill him. And I think, I think that it will be like a vampire type situation, where every other douchebag under him evaporates in like an explosion of light. Like, you know,

when they kill the original vampire, how all the vampires under that vampire that that vampire has turned themselves die, did you know that? I've never heard that. And I, you know, you know, really was into vampires for like six months when I was 14. Oh really? Uh, really? Yeah, you know, I like put on the eye make up, listen to the cure a lot. Just a phase, just 14 though. Yeah, it was like, well, 14 to 14 and a half.

It was a quick one, you know, still to half years. You went through, you put on eye make, did you drink blood? Uh, you know, well, you know know i drank red liquids that i said was blood are you serious is this a put on yes definitely put on uh... that's not a thing did you go through a vampire phase and although i didn't but my older brother actually did and he did like put on uh... like got makeup and stuff and he always listen to the q's or that's why i said that

oh my god okay well i don't think he drank any blood i don't know i mean i know he's my brother but i you know what are you that's fine for the we're gonna find the biggest douchebag of burning man uh... we're gonna talk about how i fucked i fucked my man over so badly this year with my complete lack of accountability when it comes to our art project. We've got this beautiful, this beautiful bastard on the phone right now got this amazing art project in at Burning Man that is a giant LED clock that's 12 feet tall. It must be, how, Steve, how tall is it? It's, it's right over 10 actually.

Okay, it's a 10 foot tall. It's about 20 feet long, I think. It's into 20 to the valley space. It is a 10 foot tall alarm clock that only blinks 12. It's the most annoying piece of art. We're going for most annoying. That's what we're trying to do.

That would be fucking nuts. That's our gift to everybody is the most annoying thing. And you can't set it. Like it's not possible. It's just 12. 12. And it just 12. Yeah, I think someone might tear it down.

Anyway, we'll get into the next week. We're going to be hosting the show together. Not our first time hosting a show of Burning Man, but I do hope to find the biggest douchebag in Burning Man. And therefore, I think the biggest douchebag in the universe could be. Has to be transit property what have you huh alright get back to your suspenders and get back to your drinking all right uh... i'll see you all i also have a liquor right now for you

i also have some money for you because you won the celebrity shame pool didn't you know that's right because johnny death is a piece of shit yeah so uh... maybe we should get into this next week, but we had this, Asterios and I came up with the celebrity shame pool, aren't a lot of people taking his side though? Johnny Depp? Yeah.

Yeah, and I might be on. I don't think it's side, he's a weirdo that ruins the middle of the week, so don't take it, so I see his head perfectly. He's a strange guy. A tragic woman. Yeah, but see, here's the battle that everyone finds themselves in. You've got Johnny Depp, who is inarguably probably a prick in an asshole.

Like just the way he talks. Like that affected way that he says everything. And I love him. I love all his movies. I love the guy, but he's probably a prick in an asshole. Like, I don't have to think you're a cool guy to like your movies. So you've got him who people hate, but then this Amber her chick, all I know about her is she's some young actress.

So she's fucking nuts. She's fucking nuts, probably a pain in the ass. And what I know about her is that she's recording her husband, secretly. Like I saw that video of Amber, her and Johnny Depp. And it seems like, yeah, he's an asshole and he's stomping around.

And if he did that to my sister, I would kick the shit out of him. But he's not hammering her. Like he's not calling her up and screaming at her for talking about him with her friends. He's not calling her up and screaming at her for talking about him with her friends, he's just kind of being a drunk prick. So it's like a race to the bottom with these, like that's why people are taking his side. Well, I just know people have come out, like even his like former relationships and they're

like, this isn't him. Oh, is then his mom just die or something like that? Johnny Depp's mom, didn't she? I don't know. Wait, wait, if your mom dies didn't she? I don't know. When I see it. Wait, wait, if your mom dies, you can go around socking broad.

Did he sock her? Oh, like a pretty cool ticket. I don't know. I know. I just throw and shit out there. Oh, we know is that he apologized for something, didn't he? Did he? He apologized for, Steve, you want to tell it?

So the original rules of the shame pool before Maddox fucked it up was that a celebrity had to apologize for something to do you wanna tell it? So the original rules of the shame pool before Maddox fucked it up was that a celebrity had to apologize for something because that's what makes the other way you can really close it. Is what, I felt that way. You agreed with that too, because we're sports guys. Because you don't, you don't have the bills.

There's no other definitive end to it. Exactly, you need to have goal lines and points or else there's no competition. You can't just go, well, whenever we feel it, it's not like the bills in the Cowboys don't play a Super Bowl, and then everybody argues over who felt they played a better game.

Like, who's the more victim, who had the more heart in this game? Congratulations, here's a Lamarity trophy. You have to do it objectively. You have to do it objectively. So we determined, Asterio's and I determined that it was based on a Pology it got all fucked up. That's a whole nother story, but

From beyond the grave Johnny Depp came out and apologized for something with like bringing a dog into Australia or something like that Yeah, but was he shamed for that? He was in the news he was in the news, but was he shamed for that? He was in the news. He was in the news, but Sean he apologized But you see a face like that shameful. That's that's he apologized You have to apologize for what you're shamed for he's it once you once you say you're sorry That's it. Look I should have seen this coming you motherfucker. This is how people win both games

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if it's a everybody gets bad calls I should have seen this coming. Look, you motherfucker, this is how people win ball games. This is bullshit. It doesn't matter if it's a, everybody gets bad calls. Everybody gets bad drops. It doesn't matter if you get, it doesn't matter if the, it doesn't matter if it goes through your buckler's legs. It doesn't matter if it rolls all the way. It rolls all the way. See, this is why you was such a good fucking game.

All right, buddy, go back to your drink and I'll see you next week. Okay, I'll see you next week. See you, Dick a good fucking game? All right, buddy, go back to your drink and I'll see you next week. Okay, I'll see you next week. See you, Dix, man. What? What? All right. That's a perfect end of this.

So there's my man, there's a preview of next week. I think that's gonna wrap it up for Lucky Episode 13. Oh yeah. Sean, thanks for being here when you're so sick. You're so sick, you're coughing like Hillary Clinton over there. I'm better off. You should've seen me three days ago.

Thanks for, thanks for the doctor. Uh, what was his name? Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Secretman. Dr. Secretman. Dr.

Secretman. Dr. Secretman. Dr. Secretman. Dr. Secretman. Something like that. This is the Dixho.

Go to dick.show dickshow.com. Patreon.com slash the Dixho. If you want to check out the video, it's all fixed. Thanks for the film, when guys, they really helped me out with some of this video. Shit. I'll see you by hook or by crook. I will see you next Tuesday. I also can't wait to see what gets fucked up with uploading this on Tuesday while I'm not here. Well, I don't know if I should put you

or my brother in law in charge of it. You're both very meticulous. Yeah. He over-promises though. Like, he's big on, I'll get this done. And then you're like, wow, you got two kids. Look, I'll get it up there. You'll get it up. I'll get it up there. You'll get the dick show up. Alright, buddy. See you next Tuesday. Yeah, anyway, like Dustin man seems cool to me like well, it's wrong with Dustin. Here's everyone just pissed off the Dustin comes on you show and that's like a normal dude

Well all of them are fucking weirdos who just want to go on the internet and call people cucks and whatnot and That fucking fuck being a shicks are probably not getting laid in a tight fucking life You know like that they were and they just a bunch of pissed off fucking Republicans or whatever Dare you Dustin're cool guy. Man, in my book, you just remember that. You remember the lettuce Jones said, hey, you're cool guy, Justin. Let us Jones.

Let us Jones. Let us Jones. I think it's rough to get so much hate all the time. What the fuck is lettuce Jones? Let's his name. What? That's his name. Oh, it is. Let's his name. What? That's his name. Oh, it is.

That's his name. Oh. Everybody has two lives now. I know. You get to have your life online where you're Let Us Jones calling in with zingers and calling out Republicans and then he maybe he goes maybe he's an investment banker back in his day job. Maybe he's a pilot.

Maybe he's a guy flying to friendly skies and he's sneaking off into the into the men's room and throwing the occupied switch and Pissing all over his sandals and leaving that voice mail. There's no shaw in these people could be anybody. I know. They could be anybody This could be your doctor that your doctor could be lettuce Jones on the weekend Calling into podcasts and saying that another guy is okay, but he's okay with them. That it could be anybody He could be this guy could be babysitting your kid. This could be your kid. You don't know anymore.

Everybody could be anyone they want. Everybody can be anybody, or anything they want. They could have fur sonas online. They could be a raccoon. Could be your transsexual dog. They could be that. Yes, they could be that online. The dog part.

Yes, the transsexual in real life but the dog part yes absolutely yeah thank you silly sausage is a very simple solution to your our favorite the news problem just have Sean read the news I know that was better by me I swear to god ever since you posted that first video with Sean state I have not been able to masturbate to anything else. I don't know. Sean is the only person that can delete my erections. I was asking why I had the podcast on during sex until I showed as a video.

And now she makes me wear a mask with Sean State's eye. There's a smile with me. How long is there a mirror in the room that I can look into so that I can climax as well? Anyway, Dick, can I fuck yourself, Sean, go fuck me, and whoever the guest is, good luck in the comments, I guess. Oh, that last part's funny. Yeah, good luck in the comments. Oh, yeah.

For fuck's sake, don't leave them. You should write a little questionnaire for guests on how to be so beloved and complement all the time. You sicko without your cop. Here's the shan look is don't just get the mask, don't just get a mask like a printout and put it on your face. You also need a v-neck top. That's the shan look.

A v-neck top, G and black shoes. I have never seen your, that's your look like a cartoon like johnny cash you are like the man with a v neck and the black shoes up so if you're i mean if your girlfriend's really into the shan look where some black shoes before you're being the shit out of her i guess take i have a question the rest of the country

it's always been about fighting for more democracy for women for black cdada yada you know trump of you know Trump's not the bad now Trump's not the bad now and if he becomes president he'll be susceptible to you know urges he'll have massive bribes at his hands is it more american to take the bribes and become richer or to fight for the idea of democracy, whatever that might mean for you. That's a genuine question, right? That he's asking? I don't even know what it is.

You think that guy's just showing up, like just talking shit? What's he, I thought that was going to like a shit talk, but I think that sounded like a genuine question. What's your take? Oh boy, I think this episode would get a lot longer if I started talking about the role of money in politics, but I will say that I do think that people who,

I do think rich people are vilified. And I think there is a big difference between trying to acquire wealth by building things or by creating things and trying to acquire wealth as a function of political power. Okay. And I think that there's something, it's true that power, power corrupts and absolutely power. Yeah, yeah.

Curves absolutely. And anyone who seeks power in and of itself, I don't trust implicitly. I don't trust any politician. For whatever they're saying on the surface, I just instinctively don't trust them. But looking at Trump's background, I think taking bribes, I think that idea, that pay for play idea, it seems to be the foundation of Hillary's entire life. It seems to be what the entire Clinton foundation is based on. Well, they are professional politicians.

They're the pinnacle. Yeah. The system that allows it. And I think that the system is set up in a lot of ways to encourage it. Oh, yeah. Like you go, you go even to, even to the num, this is very obscure, but even the number of congressmen, like the, there's, what do we have? 435 congressmen or something like that. It was supposed to grow with the population of the US, such that your congressmen would

be accessible to the common man. That's the way the framers intended it. Yeah, you're supposed to meet, be able to meet with your congressman in person. You're supposed to be able to influence him with the passion of your speech. You know, if you're representing like 50,000 people, you can do that. But they capped it. Congress capped it in like the early 19th and the early and like that 1910s or something like that, they kept it such that Congress wouldn't grow anymore. Yeah, so Congress is the same and the population of the U.S. has exploded. Oh, yeah, it's exploded.

Somewhere around 330 million, I think. So now these people have become celebrities in their own right. Yeah. Like you have, you and I have no ability to talk to our congressmen. No, not really. Absolutely none. And that, that has fostered a culture where you have to, where money and politics are, are, are, are inextractable from one another, are unentangable.

I don't know what the word for that is, but they are one in the same now because you need that money to buy influence. When if they're completely intertwined, they're completely intertwined. When in a system where it was designed with just a shit, you know, let's say 6,000 congressmen, it's just not the case. It's very hot. It was like my life coach was saying last week, it's harder to steal. When it's harder to steal a buck than it is to earn it,

you're gonna earn it. And we've, go ahead. Yeah. I mean, I agree. I agree. It's kind of, people generally will do the easier thing, I think. Of course, especially when it's their time and money. They'll pick, if you build a system,

wherein it's easier for politicians to steal the money, than it is to earn it, and earn it by serving you, they're gonna steal it every time. And that's what, I think that's what we've built. Like, I don't want to call out Clinton specifically, even though it's, it's prescient because she happens to be gunning, to she's the only one who's made it a priority to do that professionally,

with no apology for it. No. We're saying like, well, this is just, you know, this is the game. This is what I do. Well, you gotta do is just, you know, this is the game. This is what I do. This is how corrupt I am. Yeah, you do the boldest thing.

It's like, well, maybe she's supposed to be doing it. Yeah. She's shameless. Totally shameless. Yeah, the first time. Most politicians are like that. No, it's the first time I've ever felt that, so it's the first time I've ever felt that so clearly.

It's the first time it's no one's even apologized for it. Oh, no, I know. Where it's like now, now, if I'm questioning whether you're doing anything wrong, I know 90% of people don't question it, because that's just the way I am. I know that that is in my brain all the time and that it's different than everybody else.

So when it comes to Trump accepting bribes, I just think he's from a different, he's from the bribe burr. think he's from a different, he's from the bribe burr. Like he, he's from the bribing class, not the bribed class. I think that, and I think that as, see, this is, this is why I told you he's going to get off into a big rant. The people who run the country, politicians, the president, senators, kind of, they're below

us. We are the kings. We are the kings of America, the president, senators, kind of, they're below us. We are the kings. We are the kings of America, the people. The people are the kings of America, and the people who try to run America are beneath us. Every time they try to catch our vote, they flatter us as one flatters a monarch. Like they say, American people, they try to make the biggest compliment possible. Like the American people are a wise and generous people

and are an inclusive people's horse. Motherfucker, you don't know me. No, we're not. No, we're fucking not. Like that's the kind of thing you see in the King of England. Like you're majesty, you are the most wise king ever. You don't have syphilis at all, and your dick is huge.

Like, that's what the next election is gonna be. It's gonna come to a point where the president just walks out, the president running for president comes out and goes, oh, everybody, first of all, I know everyone here has a huge dick, and also so do I. Like, it's just this incessant flattery, this unending flattery that goes on. And I think, the reason I say that is because I think people like Trump,

I think people, I'll say myself included, but I think a lot of people have a healthy disdain for the ruling class because they are beneath us because of that, because they're willing to whore themselves out and say these sick, repulsive, untrue things at every turn to carry our favor. That's exactly what I thought. They will do and say things that are against their kind of original code of morals and ethics. In order to be elected, it's Plato said it. However,

many thousand years ago, he said, anyone who aspires to political office should be disqualified on that basis. Yeah. So the reason I bring it up is because I think Trump of anyone, because he's been in that bribing class, because he's been directly paying for politicians would feel such an overwhelming disgust at the idea, at the drives that they have, that the people who get into politics share and have, that it would like, it would rot his soul. Well, I'll say this, he without a doubt feels superior to all of them.

Absolutely. Without a doubt. Absolutely. I hope that was a real question, because we certainly had a real answer for it. Somebody put Brian O'Boyle wrote, like the Asians in South Park, I was just gonna bring that up.

What do you mean? You know, big American penis. You know, that just flattering. Yeah, I'm not doing anything sinister. Big American penis. Ars are so small. Yeah, let's end it on that. Yeah, oh good.

See you next Tuesday. you