The Dick Show - Episode 132 - Dick on Deplatforming Jesus

Episode Date: December 11, 2018

Deplatforming Jesus, getting tricked into going to church, sobriety enablers, the sin of easy mode, putting hangars in trash bags instead of just leaving them out, trans-ringers in the Olympics, the mental illness of taking sports too seriously, white on white violence, wedding day three-way marketing, bad penis news, an erotic roofie story, Madcucks dates an amazon, Asterios' debt bonds, Super Clash Bros, the tease of the Hammer Brothers Mario suit, and I get Sean a Christmas present; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Let's just do it and see what happens. What's the worst it could happen? What's the worst it could happen? We're beyond the worst part. Are we? Oh yeah! Nothing but smooth sailing. And here on out for the show.

That iceberg's no problem at all. No problems at all. Don't worry about it. We're unsinkable. Yeah! How come to dig? We got it. We're unthinkable. Yeah! Yeah! Hey, welcome to Dig! You know how diggy, diggy, diggy, love diggy, you got it! It's a show where everything's a contest,

coming to you live from a mountain bunker deep in the heart of the city of failure. I'm your host Dick Maston. Dick Mast! Okay, the $20 million man. Voted America's best Mexican 10 weeks running, joining me. There's always a Sean the audio engineer.

Hello dick. Hey, what's up buddy? I can't even say my own last name. Massive. Man. Massive. It's a scalpel. It's a scalpel.

Do you notice that your signature has gotten lazier over the years? My signature started lazier. Now it's just a line. Yeah. Yeah. I just finish less and less of my last name as the years go on. That's life. Yeah, it kind of is.

Yeah. Because you realize that that's about the job that everyone else does. So why be any different? I remember learning that you're handwriting a signature analysis person. It's like, oh yeah. That means you don't find much things. No, they said, how much you blur it? It's like how much you want people to know about you or something like that.

Really? Well, I mean, here's my signature then. I'll just blow on the page. You got DNA. Go get it fucking tested. Anybody, I'm pretty sure anybody could draw a little scrawl Yeah, yeah, oh, I'm soaked in sweat and I'm out of sorts. Oh, because I've got your I got a Christmas present for you for me Yeah, really and it arrived at the very last moment. Wow. It was a mad dash

I'll give it to you at the end of the show. Okay, that's it called a teaser Yeah, I want everyone to stick around to see Sean getting his Christmas present. So what professionals do? That's what professional podcasting school. That's what it's all about. Yeah. Um, oh man.

For a slight fee, we can teach you this. How to tease. Yeah, how to tease. It's called thought school. That's called proper podcast. Yeah. Never pay off. Starts with handwriting analysis.

You don't even know sometimes. No. What you got to do in podcasting, so you got to set expectations and then never deliver on them. Yeah. We got something really exciting coming. We always get to think it a little bit. I think we do.

Yeah, it's like, oh shit. We forgot. Well, sanctions are still coming, impending, right? Impending sanctions. Uh-huh. It might be in January. Is that the... It Impending sanctions. It might be in January. Is that the... It's serious, so they might be in January.

He's currently figuring out how to chop up his $290 that he's owed into bonds that he's going to sell. I think this is his plan. A dickhead who's a law, who works in New York York for debt recovery emailed me and I forwarded the message saying yeah, this is our, this is what our firm does. Stereo's has owed that money. The interest is 9% every year and you could do whatever he wants with it.

It's like a real, it's real debt. Yeah. It's real debt man. A Stereo's is the man now. You can sell your debt off to creditors. He's got a no piece of George's life. Yeah. For real. I know. For real.

I hope he, I hope he auctions it off at a dollar a bond. I'll buy, I'm in on that auction. Yeah sure, I'll be there every week. Maddox Monday. Yeah, sign me up. There you go. I know what launches on Maddox Monday. It's time to buy some of his ass.

Yeah. Scott is ass for sale. It's all going to, he'll make more than $290. Sure. I think, oh boy. Let's see, I got a guy calling in later who's made a very cool game that I wanna talk about. Oh yeah, what?

How does your video game? My video game, oh winners drink. Dude, 650 have sold, I think, so far. Oh, that's awesome. I'm now worried I didn't order enough, cause the response has been as huge, especially site unseen, but I guarantee you that this is a game.

Yeah, that is a guarantee you can take to the, to the Asterios loan shark agency. This is certainly a card game that I have made and am selling at WinnersDrink.fund. Well, I think, I mean, that's a guarantee, money back guarantee that this is a game. Yeah. Okay.

If you find that it is not a game, you just don't know what is a game. You get your money back. Yeah, okay. That's what I'm doing. That's my promise to you. I played, I showed Randy. Uh-huh.

Because I met with Randy this week. He'll give you a good champion at the bid. Probably a good, measured take. Oh, he loved it. Oh, he loved it. He said, we went through every half, uh, ten cards in. He said, the game theory behind this is really astounding.

Like, that sounds like something Randy would say. Yeah, it's like the loops that you have to go through and it's like, I know, I know, thank you. I know, I know, thank you very much. My favorite thing that Randy ever, ever did in front of me, he was a little bit, he was a little bit drunk. No, he was a little bit drunk, but, but not, not too bad. And he said he was talking about the, you know, some of the latest podcasts, this is maybe

20, 30 episodes ago. And he goes, he goes, you know, he goes the interplay between you and Dick these days. And he just goes, Well, he went like full Italian from that. And that's not your thing. Yeah, I just went, yeah. You gotta give him a high, not a mingla. You don't, good choice. Yeah, good choice, I do.

I thought it was a guy, laughs hard. Oh man, that's great. Let's see here, it's made me rage this week. I've, I, I had a real soap crisis this week. I don't know why it's so hard for me to keep soap in my house. I have like a gas shortage, but for, remember the 70s gas shortage, gas crisis hands, soap in my house, it causes me so many fucking problems that I clearly can't, I clearly can't keep myself stocked in soap.

Nothing, nothing will help me. So I've had charcoal dick and charcoal hands all week because you go through your stocks and then you go to your reserves, right? Of soap. I don't know, maybe I'm the only one that you go to like, is the only soap. Well, I have my soap, I have my autistic man's soap,

my my soap that my male autism only lets me use, which is the green Irish soap. It's the best soap. It is the best soap and any other kind of soap will make me feel gross and like make me look for one of those thunder blankets that I can just wrap myself in and bed all day. I don't feel right. I feel grotesque. If I use another soap, I'm not up to the challenge

of going out and getting soap. But I can't order it online because that's just admitting defeat. That is beyond, because you're a traditional soap guy and you wanna get it via the traditional method of leaving the house and I can't admit defeat and go and make Amazon somebody's got to bring me I respite I respite so I sure enough I run out of the slivers eventually because even packing all the slivers together one day well they don't go they don't lather right they don't and I'm I'm forcing this on women

They don't, they don't laugh, they don't. And I'm forcing this on women. I have this crappy job of washing myself. I can't, I can't, I can't get close to anybody. I walk around with a 10 inch pole like in the Grinch, you know, a 30 foot pole. What does he have? I walk around to my, he's just my way from me. I wouldn't touch you with a 39 and a half foot pole.

I've got that, a pool skimmer around it. Yeah, no, no, no, no, there was a soap problem. I finally got down to decorative soaps. Jamie somehow, finagled, somehow, these scented soaps will just, things that will appear in your house that women have conjured up from a dimension of hell, which is comprised of scented soaps

and towels that do not work and kitschy decorations. They just conjured this up. So I'm stuck with using scented decorative hand soap in the shower. Smells all wrong. Stumpy bars, it's infused with charcoal. No one would ever want to use this. No one would ever want to use this. No person would ever want to use this.

What for like, it is. Is it like, yeah, for so, but no, but it's infused with charcoal. Is it like little bits? Is it supposed to be to create, you know, a friction? Or I don't know. They just, they do this. You ever use lava soap?

Yeah, that was my grandfather's soap. It's like, it's male autism soap. What's, it's like a degreaser, because it's got a lot of abrasives in it. Yeah, that'll get fucking grease off your hands. Yeah, that was his. So I've had charcoal dick all week, because of course, you know,

yeah, look, you're not gonna write. Try dick is cleaner than my hands, okay? Yeah. Everyone's dick. It's like a dog's mouth. Yeah, my dick is cleaner than my hands, okay? Yeah. Everyone's dick, it's like a dog's mouth. Yeah, my dick is cleaner than a dog's mouth. Yeah, yeah. Here's a weird aside.

I think, oh, we're more than that? Yes, I think Adam from your movie Sucks is gonna call in next week because he's embroiled in some sort of a beastiality controversy online. I said he could come on and talk about between him and some of the Kiwi Farms boys. Oh, no. So that's where we're at. Wow. These days online. Stay in school kids never leave because the adulthood is nothing but pedophiles and bestiality and it's a very sick game that we've anyway.

My dick is cleaner than a dog's mouth obviously, but it reeks of charcoal. So now the scent of charcoal makes me think of jerking off. But I don't know that if I know what, if I've ever really smelled charcoal, what? I mean, I kinda grill. Well, okay, yeah, I guess. What do you mean you've never smelled charcoal? Well, but I mean, like, I thought your time, you know, raw charcoal, you know,

I'm like charcoal. Yes, yeah, I don't know if I know what that smells like. Well, I do, and if I smell it, I'm gonna get a direction. So keep it away from me. Some of my friends friends dad said never jerk off in the shower because you've got a boner every time it rains. Yeah. I've said that. I've said it on here before, but it's, you know, it's a joke. We're a little Pavlovian army. Yeah. That's a joke. Yeah. sobriety enablers that you know what I have sobriety enablers. You know what? I have. Sobriety enablers?

That's, yeah, that really. I've been getting some sneaky. Apparently, my brother and law and I are in the same sobriety stint because we've had some rough. We both didn't drink last night. Yeah. And I get out of my sister's place and I'm hearing, I'm hearing these constant sniping comments.

We're like, oh, you know, you've lost so much weight since this week off of drinking that you've had and every one of them made me go, really? Yeah. Like, okay. I see what you don't believe here. I don't believe you. Yeah.

Have you not drank for a week? No, no, he hasn't. I haven't drank for 36 hours. Okay, okay. But it's pervasive and it works as my problem with it. Everyone, especially men, like compliments from the harpies that they've shackled themselves to, especially for their entire lives.

And they know this. They know this. And that's the genuine, the most genuine compliment a woman will ever give you is while you're in when you haven't been drinking For X amount of time and they will up the compliments as it goes. Because I want you to stay that way as they want you to stay that way. Yeah. Yeah. Look how much you've been able to get done in this week of not drinking. Well, yeah, but what's been the worth of it?

Yeah, I mean, my life is empty. Yeah, my life is fucking empty. Have don't you watch those movies about... Yeah, might as well himming away myself now. Yeah, I think I had a lot done drunk. Don't you remember the movie Family Man with Nicholas Cage? All of his achievements meant nothing because what was important in life was absent.

And I remember that. I'm pretty sure it was a movie about a liquor. Yeah, sobriety, I think. It was the emptiness of Vegas. Was the movie that I'm talking about. Oh yeah. It seems to me. Right, right.

Same message. Yeah. The same message in both movies. Speaking of going up there, man. I showed up to the kids Christmas pageant. Do they have to play characters? No, they just got a sing. Oh, yeah, they wouldn't do that anymore because it's, if you play like any type of a Christian, you know, yeah, you can't, you're not, yeah, yeah, they wouldn't do that.

You're not wrong. What's up? You're not wrong about schools going nuts over holiday shit, trying to cram quanza down. Like, this is a real, this is a real thing. It's not, I don't know, maybe it's just the LA thing, but it is real here. So it's gonna be real everywhere soon enough.

I don't know any black people who consider quanza like an actual holiday. I mean, it's not real, right? I think it's like as real as festivists. They try to, some people try to point back to an earlier period of time that like, oh, it has roots in this. But I think it came in like the late 60s or something. I don't know. I'm not a, I'm not a quanza expert, Nor could I ever be because of, because of my lack of, of pigmentation, but, yeah. But, um, I don't know. I'm all going record saying that it's not a real holiday.

There's a couple things about the Christmas pageant was nice and tight. Just the, oh, just the kids, just the kids singing. No other, you didn't have to sit and wait for any adjust the kindergarten class singing. No other classes singing. They had the other classes. It was the most brilliant thing I've ever seen. The other classes had their own show. So instead of cramming all the parents in and making you sit through the ultimate tedium and face shittery that is watching other people's kids do shit when yours is already done. Oh god. It's like cattle. Get all the parents in. They make them go out another door. That's crazy. You guys are going out there because the other parents are out there and we want to keep it special for them, right? So you're going out the front,

you're going out the back door. The fire out the back door, the fire ex it, the fire escape while we're bringing everybody in, we're whipping the kids through. Wow, perfect. Whoever comes up with that, they need to, they need to be taken from the school and put into a really useful position. Yes. However, the MC of the event, I can't, who gets up there and gives a, he gave a preamp, I got tricked into going to church. This guy gets up and gives a preamble about Jesus and the holidays and this is a guy.

Why can you do that in school? Well, this is a private, it's like a Christian school. It's a private school. Oh, okay, okay. It's a private school that everybody going to has to lie about to go to because they make you like fill out this form about why religion is important to you. And it's a test to get the more,

you're rid of the more. It's a Christian school. Yeah. This guy's going on and on about Jesus and family, family, and how important all this meaning of the holidays shit. And I'm sitting there going, Hey Jesus's family is all I'm saying Yeah, where were his all of the whatever 18 brothers and sisters? Yeah time I'm sitting there thinking isn't this a little bit played out. Mm-hmm. Can we not get we've

How many times do I need to hear the same thing every year? Can we update the message a little bit? What about the other guys? I'd rather hear about what Warren Buffett thinks is important in life, rather than Jesus. And I'm kind of thinking everybody would be better off if they did. Hey guys, remember how we remember all that family and forgiveness shit we talked about?

Yeah, that's still the same. Let me tell you about inversion markets and having a bond to stock ratio of 20 to 80% this week. That's the fucking homily of this week. You idiots. Can we update them a little bit? All this forgiveness shit? We really like traditions.

I got tricked into going into, and I hadn't been to church and so long, I forgot how insane it drives me to see somebody who doesn't have to pay taxes, tell me about controlling my fucking temper. Oh, really, father? Yeah. Charity, huh? I'm required to be charitable.

Is that a Catholic school? By the government, I don't know, Christian. They like Jesus. What's that? It's all the same. Well, that's all the fucking same. That's the thing. All the different sex of Christianity

want to differentiate themselves so much and say that the other ones are wrong. But it's like, do you believe Jesus was the son of God who died for your sins upon the cross? If you do, you are Christian. If you don't, you are other, period. Yeah, that's it. That's it.

It's the only fucking line. Is it, you got something with Jesus? Stop it with the whole, the Catholics believe in someone. We have three different entities. Some people think that it's one in three. Yeah, stop it. Just stop it. I forgot how annoying it was.

Yeah. It's a good church, I guess is what I'm saying. I would like a little bit of a spruce up, a little bit of an update. Whereas all the saints, surely there must be a saint of, I don't know, credit card debt or cyber bullying, or getting de-platformed or something like that. Yeah, like you'd hear about something.

Jesus would be de-platformed. And today is, yeah, he got, you know, he got very violently de-platforms. And today is a day. He got very violently de-platforms. Yeah, he did beat, yeah, he was definitely de-platformed. He was de-platformer number one. But I mean, like, you know, what he would preach and stuff, I think it'd be, he'd be probably less likely to be de-platform today, maybe. I don't, I think it'd be, he'd be probably less likely to be de-platform today, maybe.

I don't know. You think so? I don't know, not really. I mean, I just thought of this like five seconds ago, so I don't know. I've put no thought in that. No, God got me, too. Last week.

Yeah. See that? Wait, God got me, yeah, you got me, too. Some stupid shithead professors said that and Mary hashtack started. Mary didn't consent to God. So I got a heart rate man. Are you, what are you 13? Yeah.

This is your hot take on. Yeah. Okay. Hmm. Who can be the most clever of all you stupid academics? Yeah. The heretic. I think she did get worn too. And angels came to her and said,

hey, you're going to get knocked up by God. Just lay back and let it happen. Yeah. Don't fight it. I mean, you cannot consent. If you're, if you know that there's a God killing yourself would be non consent, right? Because you know that there's an afterlife. So what's the difference? Doesn't make any sense. I also I, I, I, I chopped my dick off. I activated, I played a video game on assist mode this weekend. I was playing Mario Odyssey and me and the little man could not beat this level. We've been playing this level for probably months and we finally activated assist mode and beat it and I felt raped afterwards. I said I thought this is a bad I've done a bad thing. Yeah. I've done a very bad thing setting this example and yeah and rewarding us and accepting a reward for playing this game in easy mode,

but I couldn't justify keeping the win from him. Yeah, it's like the, you know, the first Everest expeditions. There was a lot of talk about oxygen. It's unsporting. It's unsporting like we don't, and then it was like, no, we need it. We need to get to the top of this thing. And I said, this is, look, we're doing, Uncle's doing a very bad thing, doing this assist mode,

but we're gonna do it. I just, but it's not as rewarding. It's not as rewarding, just letting you know. It's not as, you know, speaking of all this Jesus stuff and the holidays, I am just waiting for the red pilling. Right, I'm waiting for the little, the kid in red pilling. Yeah. It's gotta happen.

It's gotta happen at some point, right? Around the holidays. Yeah, because's gotta happen. It's gotta happen at some point, right? Around the holidays? Yeah, because I remember I was watching the pageant, as I was sitting there, suffering from a revenant level hangover with my skin coming off of me in sloths and big chunks. Right. And they were singing about the little children were singing about Jesus. I'm like, I wonder if this motherfucker's gonna ask about what Jesus is. Wouldn't you think he would have been exposed to that in school by this point?

Yeah, but they're thinking it evolves every year to understand more complicated concepts to the world. They already ask the same questions as it goes. And they get more from the answer the next. And they also know who's gonna fuck with them. They know who lies to them. And they know who everybody fucks who's gonna fuck with them. They know who they know who lies to them. And they know who everybody else asks

for complicated answers. So now I'm waiting. Now I'm sitting there constructing like, okay, how do I get them to ask me? No, it's a little bit, yeah, but also, what the hell am I gonna say, right? Like, well, I could say say Jesus was a powerful sorcerer. He was a lich that imbued his body with a supernatural essence

that allowed him to escape death. That's true. I mean, that's very palatable for a paladin too. It's fucking awesome. Yeah. But then that got me well, like wait a minute. Is this, am I being too clever for my own good here?

Like Mr. God me too. Sometimes you gotta step over the line to know where it is. Yeah, and then I don't wanna piss everybody off. I can't, all right? Like I don't overstep my bounds, but I'm just like, amped up like, oh come on. Yeah. I'm just pretty good. I got these like, oh, come on. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just pretty good.

I got these new fucking smokers right here. Yeah. Come on, baby. Any day now? Mm. That's what I'm sitting during this. That's what I'm sitting there thinking during this homily. Yeah.

As your skin is sloughing off. Sloughing off. Yeah. As of my poor life choices. Let's see here. It's a proposal season two. Is that right? And 33% of proposals happen on Christmas Eve.

Do you know what? No idea. Look, I wonder why. I can't stop you from proposing. Gift. Just because everybody's deluded. Everybody's been worn down and tricked into the holiday spirit that they

think that they think now is the time. Now we're at our weakest, right? Yeah, I just, it still doesn't make sense. It's very strange. The first force is you together and makes you think that the world is only this big and you think, wait a minute, in summer, there was tons of broads around. How come I got to see these same six broads, and I'm related to five of them, and there's this one I'm dating.

Oh, Jesus, I'm lucky to have this one in my life, because the cold winter that has consumed the rest of the world has nothing, has no other human warmth to offer me. So I better lock this down. I better lock this down, and then spring rolls around, you think, shit. Whoops. Oh, there were other chicks after all.

Oops. You thought you were in the arc. And everybody outside was drowning. Yeah, oh shit. Turns out the rain never came. Spring, I think. You were just sitting in a boat for a month. I forgot about spring.

Let me see that, give me that ring bag. I gotta go take it back. I gotta take it back. Look, I can't stop anybody from proposing. But I will say this. Hey, think about it. I will say this. You, this is my new slogan and motto for everyone.

Okay. All men. You don't get a wedding day until I get my three way. And it rhymes. It has to be true. It's not a rhyme. Ha ha ha. Sean.

Oh man. Well then you can really, then you can see if your relationship will survive something like that. Exactly. Yeah. Let's start rationalizing this. Yes. Exactly.

You need, there is a lot. Life has a lot of trials and tribulations. Why form a corporation or have a child before you really know whether you can handle marriages about the social sessions. Marriages about children, where we're going to have a third party in our relationship. Let's test it by having a three way before the wedding day. Right. That's tradition. It rhymes. You can already see. That's step one. So no wedding day until until I get my three way. Yeah. Look, if debiers can do it, if debiers can hook everybody with a multi thousand dollar, 10 month engagement ring or whatever it is. That are basically worthless.

Totally worthless. Totally worthless. We can create them out of thin air. That's just carbon. In fact, the ones we create are less valuable because they're perfect. Yeah. Structurally, molecularly, those diamonds are perfect.

They're informal. Organically, like in that, you know, through the millennia. If debiers can con, if debiers can get that through, with words, I can damn sure get this through with the same thing. This is marketing 101, no wedding day, until he gets his three way.

Yeah, that's it. Now somebody's got to make a debirre style, you know, silhouetted diamond ad with strings, fancy typeface. Yeah. Until, until you're married, it's time to negotiate. You're negotiating right now.

As soon as you pop that question, that's when the negotiation begins, and it's pencils down on the wedding day. That's the rest of your life. So listen to what I'm, listen, maybe play this in the car on accident. Whoops, I listened to this. Hilarious podcast.

You wouldn't believe what this guy was talking about. And then cage her reaction. Yeah, yeah, we're out. Yeah. You wouldn't believe it. I mean, same things this guy was saying. But you wouldn't be into a three way. Yeah, I dated a girl who probably would,

but you know, she had a lot of, she was cool, but you know. But you know, I mean, I'm with you. And just let that little bomb sit, yeah, let it sit out there. Mm-hmm. Give a little pull back. Yeah. He said the craziest thing, no wedding day until I get my three way.

Mm-hmm. And then wandered off, chuckling. Mm-hmm. So I'm going to text, see if the little bubbles pop up and then go away. Yes, yes. That's it. Look, we can do this. We can do this.

This is a future where marketing is done organically, collectively. We can meme this into reality. This can be a real thing. Every other part of the process is stupid. The bachelor party, the bachelor at party, make this a reality. That's all I'm saying.

All right. I've got another pretty funny thing I wanted to show you. Mm-hmm. I hope it doesn't get, I hope laughing about it doesn't get us banned from Patreon too, by the way. A lot of new bannings happen. Yeah.

Sargon got banned. Really? Patreon yeah. Just shocking. So, wait, laughing about it might get us banned from Patreon. Well, anything could get you banned. Sargon got banned for using the phrase white n words on another show, on another podcast. And I don't know. I'm not 100% convinced that he wasn't just using their own language against them. You mean like repeating something that someone else said or saying he said that people were

acting like white n words. But it's possible they were saying, they were dropping the n-bom and he said, well, you yourselves are actually acting like, you know, he sunk to their level. Yeah. We're using their own phraseology against them. Uh, it's frightening. I stayed up all night researching alternatives. I had a half hour conversation with a,

Well, turn it up to Patreon. Yeah, with a high risk credit card processor, just to see what it would take to get, um, to get an adult like a no, not, no, banable. Wow. Anything set up as quickly as possible. Holy shit. Yes.

What are you about? What are you about to say? Oh, not. Oh, I totally forgot about that. Let's see here. This is what I wanted to show you. It's a trans athlete. Yeah.

Hannah Mountsey representing her country. I think in handball, let me pull this up. I just want you to get a, before I show you the picture, I want you to get an understanding of what's happening here. I guess the Australian handball team who was kicking the shit out of a bunch of people at some international contest, not the Olympics, but something very high level.

And some of the pictures that they posted of this trouncing Mm-hmm. I thought we're humorous I'll bring it up for you here This is the athlete This is the athlete This is the athlete. Hannah Mouncy, I've always been a handball player. It's the one constant I've had in my life from the age of 18 up until now, almost 30, and the changes that have happened in between.

As much as I've tried to get that across, it has somehow always got lost in the media's obsession with football and the mainstream sports coach. I played football last year in Canberra with my mates, just to enjoy it. That's how women talk, you know. I always hear women saying, I was just at the pub with my mates cruising for some snatch. This year with, so after three years, I'll finally be representing Australia again, because three years ago is when she began the hormone, hormone replacement therapy. It's the funniest thing in the world to me, Sean, and it has absolutely nothing to do with trans rights or anything like that. It has to do with sports.

That's why it's so fucking funny because a lot of athletes are mentally fucking deranged. That's the take that I'm putting on this one. funny because a lot, a lot of athletes are mentally fucking deranged. Sure. That's the, that's the take that I'm putting on this, on this one. Athletes, a lot of them are fucking lunatics. Yeah. Take everything way too seriously and can't see three feet in front of their, in front of their faces or understand anything has, that has to do, anything that doesn't have to do with sports.

Oh, absolutely true. Tell some of them name something that doesn't have anything to do with football in two in 10 seconds. Ready, go. Yeah. Go ahead. Go ahead. They'll be like, uh, well, it's here in the lunch.

It's been a from the article, this applied to all areas of my, a common trait among trans women is that before they came out in, before they come out in transition, they will often take on quite masculine roles. Former US Navy SEAL, Kristen Beck is a great example, being part of the team that eventually took out bin Laden. I was the same. You ever compared yourself to somebody who took out bin Laden? Uh, no, I never, you ever done that? No, other than we probably have the same number of appendages, you know, I mean, like,

you know, like the guys that killed bin Laden. Yeah. I got two arms. I got two arms. Two balls. Right. Just like the guys that killed bin Laden. That's right.

Because athletes are, some of them are mentally drenched. Yeah, that's why. Because athletes. They're not balanced people. They're not balanced people. No. It's rarely a conscious decision to become hyper masculine to cover for the insecurities bubbling away inside of you.

Certainly wasn't for me. That was a subconscious thing, a way of protecting the notches from others, but for my own feelings of not being good enough, of not being what I was, what I've been told I was meant to be. This applied to all areas of my life. I went over the top with my aggression on the court. I tried as hard as I could to be one of the boys.

Over the top with my aggression on the court. You know that guy. You know that guy that's swinging way too hard and cursing way too much, breaking bats and helmets and screaming at women in co-ed softball. This applied to all areas of my life. I went over the top with my aggression. I tried as hard as I could be one of the boys,

which was a dismal failure and always had to be the one to lift most in the gym. When you're bench pressing 150 kilograms and squatting 200 plus, one really argues with you. Okay, I'm gonna show you some pictures here. So this person, when they were a man played for the Australian national team, and now that they're a woman, yeah, now that they're a woman's playing for the...

The women's national team. I'm going to bring up here. I'm going to simul cast it on the stream too, so people can see what I'm talking about. Here's a good one. How would you describe that image? You know what I... Did you describe that image? You know what I, that's like a Mac truck hitting a Chevy sprint.

As a liquor head, as someone who enjoys to drink way too much, do you know what I say about driving drunk? Don't do it. Yeah. Try not to do it. I get the compulsion to do it. You might do it, but it's bad. Yeah. It's bad because it's fucking everything up for the rest of us That things can have is there no is there no one saying that in this community because I sure shit can't say it Well, I can't say shit. You can't say shit

No, this is fucked look look look look you're it takes a lot more than three years of hormones to equalize the playing field. And it will never, it will never be equal. We're talking bone structure, bone density, connective tissue, different intelligence, much higher intelligence. Don't forget that. I learned this. I learned this recently and I thought it was fascinating. Men and women have different skin. The structure of our skin is dry and gross. Women's, however it's constructed, is like parallel lines. And I don't know the terminology exactly. Men have like a woven, like a diamond pattern.

Really? Yes. So, do you see it? That's literally why it, like, will hurt them to open bottle caps, things like that. No, skin. Their skin is designed to stretch for childbirth, things like that. Their skin is more elastic and it is more sensitive. And it is more sensitive.

And it is more sensitive. Whatever. But yeah, it's really fascinating. There is a physiological difference in our skin. So the tensile, the ripping strength of men's skin is higher than women's. I believe so, yeah. I assume that the pain is the same, like a pain would be the same then. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Getting injured. I'm not sure.

So it's less likely to be injured. Pain probably hurts like the same amount of things. So opening bottle caps, things like that. That's why it's easier for us. Yeah. Yeah, it's a stronger structure. That's interesting. Less flexible, but stronger. You're saying three years wouldn't change the physiological nature of your skin?

You don't change your bones or connective tissue or any of that kind of stuff that men are just stronger. And we're made, we're a dimorphic species. Yeah, let me try to find another funny one. Ah, here's a good one. See anything odd about this picture? Anything striking about this picture that one of the ladies on the team happens to be taller

by the coach. Oh, God. Shot. Literally, but all these people pretending like a head above the next tallest person. So I look to this woman up. Look, again, no judgment about how you want to live your life.

Yes, there is a judgment. If you're two into sports, you're a fucking lunatic. Okay. If you're this into sports, you are fucking deranged. And there's many athletes who are this into sports and many athletes who have severe fucking mental problems. I'm just saying, let's not call this an equal playing field. This lady, yeah, three years ago,

had the same stats as I did nine years ago. Almost, almost identical. Oh, you mean, you're not a physical stats? Yeah, when she was a man, she put up 320 on the bench and squatted like 200. My max was 350, 355 most in bench and I would routinely do 325. Yeah. Almost identical.

She's six two. Yeah. I'm under that. I don't know what exactly, but closer to six. This, this would literally be my sister is a world championship, uh, softball player. And does not look like a soft, you look like a little girl, just like that she's five seven, she weighs 125 pounds and just very muscular. She's got a sick athlete entire life. Freak athlete.

This would literally be me taking, this would be me ingesting chemicals and then fist fighting my little sister. You could inject cancer into me and I wouldn't lose that fight. You understand, there's nothing on Earth that could be put into me where I could take, where I could not take my little sister in any kind, any physical match, anything, anything. It's, we're just different.

It's how fucking bizarre to see exactly played in exactly that level. They're having a real, you know, this is a thing going on in MMA and stuff where they're saying, I mean, God, do we want a someone who, you know, is a trans woman, you know, to come in and just beat the shit out of way? It's the athletes that are the crazy ones. Yeah. That's the mental, that's the mental handicap here. It's the fucking athlete that caused this insanity and, and everybody there is just a

goddamn cheater. And I will make this promise. If the US ever needs to go up against this kind of chicanery, I will take three years off. I will get on hormones for three years. I will, I will lift weights every fucking day to counteract that and I will go in and beat the fuck out of this lady. As a lady, but I will, I'm down to do it for America.

Look, I'll go to the fucking Olympics and when a goddamn gold medal in women's boxing, if that's what it fucking takes. If you guys wanna play, you wanna play, all you other fuck athletes, athletes I'm saying, not trans people,

crazy athletes, because I think you're all fucking brain damaged. I grew up around a shitload of athletes. A lot of really are brain damage. Update, literally are. Literally brain damage. They take you way too fucking seriously, where nothing else in life matters.

And this is the result. If you drink yourself absolutely stupid and smoke a ridiculous amount of weed and jam Q tips in your ears too far, can you join the special Olympics after three years? You know, I mean, just, yeah. If I test solo, if my IQ test solo, if I drink enough robotuson to drown a sheep and I test out and for the special

Oh, I see here if I got any more funny pictures. Oh, yeah, good one. It's still aggravating because my little sister love sports played her whole life and loved it very much. I don't give a shit about sports. I played it, but I don't care about. I like the dicking around. Yeah, yeah. But she likes winning. And to see, to see all of those girls,

to see this, yeah, this poor girl, has to deal. It's literally, she's getting decleated, as they say, on football. By this psychopath because of the athleticism, not because of the other issues, because of the fucking brain dead athlete syndrome to see this behemoth barrel into a little girl who liked this as much as my little sister did makes me fucking

psychotic. Yeah, that's an insane picture. And there's a bunch of them. And there will be a bunch of them because I think the Olympics change the rules too to allow shit like this. And they use science to butcher it. Yeah. Oh, after three years of home, like, no don't give a fuck. No, that's wrong.

Give me every disease. That's wrong. Give me Mr. Burns syndrome. And I could, even at this weight, I could still kick any woman's ass at a sport, unless it's mustard drinking. The auto blow guy wrote me. Yeah.

Yeah, he said he's gonna hook us up. But he said we have to do it at the same time. Did you write him? No, he listened to the show. Holy shit. Yeah, somebody maybe sent him a link or something. I mean, I didn't know. I didn't know.

I don't know. He said, hey, yeah, give me your address. I'll totally hook you guys up. Jesus. But you gotta send pictures of you guys using it at the same time. He said, he has some kind of special buddy model. What? Where it's like two at the same time. He said, he has some kind of special buddy model

where it's like two at the same time and I don't know. What? No, he didn't say that. No, I know. I know he didn't say that. No, but really, he did get into us, I do. Yeah, he's gonna send us some. Wow.

He's gonna send us some blowjob machines. Unbelievable. I'll use the fuck out of that thing. You gotta try it, don't you? I mean, like try it every day, yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's research. You gotta try it, don't you? I mean, like try it every day, yeah. Yeah, it's research. You gotta keep, continue research. Justing for variables.

And you know, I've got one that I gotta talk about this before I got this gentleman calling in who wrote, who made an incredible video game that I really wanna talk about. But it's the, this is what I wanted to talk about. I've been wanting to talk about this for a while, so I'm bringing in now. The sex recession

Mm-hmm Atlantic article I came upon That says that details exactly how little sex people have been having recently Japan not at all I think Yeah, that was part of it. Yeah, and how much how much less sex people are having from the late 90s to 2014, they found... You know, there were some really interesting conclusions. And I've got some I would like to hear yours. The average adult, from the proliferation of porn.

The average adult went from having sex 62 times a year to 54 times. A given person might not notice this decrease, but nationally it adds up to missing a lot of sex. That's a lot. It's one a week. It's down to one a week from... Do you think people are even lying about that much?

I do. I do too. Yeah, I think everybody's lying about how much I have. I do too. I totally do. Because you forget the days, you forget how many days a row you go without having it. I've heard experts say it's like in a long-term relationship, it's much less often than that. How often do you have sex in a long-term relationship? In a long-term relationship?

Yeah. I haven't had sex in any long-term relationships. Yeah. 80s girls shaking her head. From 91 to 2017, the CDC's prevention's youth risks behavior study finds the percentage of high school students lying about saying about having intercourse dropped from 54 to 40. That's a lot as well. That's 20%. Isn't it? I don't want to bore everybody with more math%. But percentage of the number of people having said, like it doesn't, no, percentage just seems small when you're not, it's like of the 100 people

who did have sex, there's 20% less. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's a big fucking drop. Yeah. That's a very big drop. Mm-hmm. Especially considering how over sexualized content is and entertainment.

Yeah. You'd think these hot high school broads would be horing it up, teachers of fucking every student possible, but apparently it's the opposite. That's one big regret that I have about high school, not fucking a teacher. There was teachers I wanted to fuck. Go doubt about it.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, if I can just take a brief a sec. I always liked, I liked older women and older women liked me. Well, because those older women were 27. That's why you liked older women. Yeah, but that's not the case anymore. Well, yeah, I like older women who are older to teenagers, yes.

No, and even in your 20s, but much after your 20s, then 30, 31. Yeah. Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like women who are clinging on to the grim death of fertility. But once they're 40, yeah. Well, now it starts, yeah, it starts going the other way. You know what the problem is with teachers having sex with students, male students, of course.

Right. Yes, yes, yes. However, we all know the problem with male teachers having sex with female students. students, male students of course. Right. Yes, yes, yes. However, we all know the problem with male teachers having sex with female students. That's unfair. Yeah. But we all know the two scenarios are different.

It's different because not pre-ten that we don't know that. We're not pretending on the show anymore. It's different because when a female teacher has sex with a male student, he's stuck in a relationship. That's the crime. It's not the sex. It's that the older woman has tricked the poor teenage boy because he's got to go to class the next day. He can't talk to any brawds because she's fucking sitting there like a hawk watching him. Like that is the lack of consent is in the relationship part of that.

Not one person thinks that the sex is, not one person thinks that the sex is wrong. It's that it comes with a built in relationship that is against his consent. But I never thought of it like that. Did you? I don't think you could be any more right. No. like usual. It's the relationship that's fucked. It's all the tech, because they always go through their texts.

Oh, look at all these texts you sent in. And I'm thinking he had to respond to those fucking texts. And he probably just wants to play Call of Duty or go to hockey practice or something. Yeah. But this bitch is spending all fucking day text, texting him in the prime of his life, where he could be out dickin' around all day.

She sucking it up. It's not the sex that's the problem. It's the relationship that's the problem. That's probably the smartest thing I've ever said. Anyway, it ranks up there. People now in their early 20s are two and a half times as likely to be abstinence as gen Xers were at that age. 15% report having no sex since they reached adulthood. So people in their early 20s are two and a half times more

likely to be abstinence.. Wow. Fuck, man. You gotta, oh, you gotta get out there. That's when the kittens go. That's when the sun's out. You gotta make some fucking, hey. Different times. It's terrible. Cause sex after, after 35, it's only work.

You know, you know what I mean. You gotta think, look, things change. Things change. You know what I mean? You gotta think, look, things change. Things change. Sex turns into, sex turns from an exciting scavenger hunt into putting up a tent in your 30, in your 35, plus, all right, well, gotta express a lot of shit here. Yeah, I got to worry about the comforter. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That is fucking hilarious, yeah, we've all been there. I'm sitting on the fucking remote. Oh, yeah.

I get the phone here. What the fuck in the hour, yeah, hang on, I gotta move my arm. Yeah, I hate your pillows. Yeah, your fucking dog won't stop staring at me. This is the third, this is 36 problems that don't exist. It's putting together, it's putting up a tent. That's what it becomes.

Oh, that's so funny. 30.35. You busting out all this shit that you, ah, the last time I use this fucking tent, I don't remember all, I tried to put it back in the box. Where's the rain cover? Where the fuck is the rain fly? Yeah.

Where's the rain fly? Yeah. I know I had this last time I had sex. Where is it now? Yeah. I got nothing here. And all the pegs are bent. Stakes are bent out of anger.

Fish, one of the people, one of the doctors, attributes the sex decline to a decline in couplehood among young people. For a quarter century, fewer people have been marrying, and those who people have been marrying and those who do have been marrying later. At first, many observers figured that the decline and marriage was explained by the increase and unmarried cohabitation. Yet the share of people living together

hasn't risen enough to offset the decline in marriage. About 60% of adults under 35 now live with a spouse or partner. One in three adults in this age range live with their parents, making that the most. I think that's the most that's that's that status ever been. I don't think I don't know if I understand this completely, a decline in couplehood. I've always said that as the younger generations

have turned dating into marriage. Like they're so, they're so committed that dating has become stalking. Like you stalk each other on all your social media shit, you learn way too much about somebody. You talk to their fucking friends, obsess about their interests and what could have been dating. It's that's what dating is.

And then actually dating is marriage. People are fucking devastated for their entire lives about the loss of a dating relationship. They're talking about their kissless virgin, talking about how do I get my hypothetical girlfriend into my cross-dressing kinks. What the fuck are you talking about? It's dating. Somebody you go to a movie with and then you get sucked off. and into my cross-dressing kinks. What the fuck are you talking about? Stating.

Somebody you go to a movie with and then you get sucked off. What's not, it's not complicated. You're not a sign of prenuptial agreement. Yeah. You don't owe them anything. You don't. Yeah, what are you gonna say?

No, I mean, I think social media and probably just phones in the home. You think it's fun? I mean, I think that's a big part of it. There's a lot of distractions and things that you like, you know, I think it's fucking games, all that shit. Yeah. There was a lot of distractions when people needed to hunt to live though. I mean, there was a lot of distractions.

I don't know a lot of distractions. I don't know if those were distractions. I think it's a bit of like, it's like trailer syndrome. You know when you load up Apple TV and you just spend the entire night watching trailers for movies and you never pick one. I think that's what dating is. In Facebook and Tinder, we can have these entire

hypothetical lives with people based on their social media profiles, judge them, experience everything that we thought the movie would be, and then move on to the next one. With no time commitment, no boring or misfires in the third act, no, you don't have to think about it afterwards. You didn't watch Primer, You just watched the trailer for it.

Like, I got my sci-fi indie time travel kink on. I don't need to actually experience the movie and think about it for years afterwards and fuck up my day. Yeah. I'll just watch, I'll just watch the trailer. I think that's what, I mean, I don't know. I guess that's what you're saying with the phone. But and I think people underestimate what, I mean, I don't know. I guess that's what you're saying with the phone, but, and I think people underestimate

how insufferable each other is these days. Yeah. I think that is a big part of it that it is, we are really truly a nation, a society with no manners at all, who behave atrociously. And with every vocalizing, every enane, and preposterous, and aggressive thought that we have in our heads, to no one in particular.

Well, there's social media for it. Women especially, I mean, I don't know, I'm not a social media guy, but I certainly see lots and lots of things written on it, you know, posted about, you know, you're gonna see people's posts, whether you're on their social media or not. Even in person. Yeah, because I think people just get used to, like this is how we talk to people now.

Like I'm riding a car with a girl and she gets a little upset about traffic and I think why don't you just shut the fuck up? Like what is your problem? What is the point of this? It's such everyone is constantly a fucking turn off, constantly without knowing it. Yeah.

Um, match.com. Uh, this bitch says the data is that people are having less sex. She said with a hint of mischief, I'm a baby boomer and apparently in my day we were having a lot more sex than the art today. God. To the moon. Yeah, you were all fucking sick. I'm a baby boomer.

Sixties. Fucking free love and drugs and we were going to change the world and through sex. Of course you were having more sex. I was told in my view. You have fucking AIDS? Yeah. I was on PKA a couple days ago. Yeah. And two of the guys on there are talking about having herpes, like that it's no big deal. Huh. I'm like, dude. This is a fucking very, this is a very big deal. I would consider it a big deal. Yeah.

I was told it might be a consequence of the hookup culture, blah, blah, blah, blah, name a modern blight and somewhere, someone is ready to blame it from messing with the modern libido. Here's one, this was the most interesting one that I pulled out of the article libido. Here's one, this was the most interesting one that I pulled out of the article. Okay. Rates of childhood sex abuse have decreased in recent decades. Rates of childhood sex abuse. Yeah. If it wasn't for childhood sex abuse, I don't think I would have ever been

late at all. Yeah. Because the women who it happens to engage in more promiscuous sex earlier and more often they become hypersexual. Yeah, a lot of the time. And I can say honestly that I think that would have had a significant impact on how often I have had sex, a lack of childhood sex abuse. Yeah. Yeah. Some people may feel less pressured into sex than I want to have thanks to changing gender, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Britain's national survey of sexual attitudes and lifestyles reported in 2001. People aged 16 to 44 were having sex more than six times a month on average by 2012, that rate had dropped to fewer than five times. I got a bunch of stats here, but they all just kind of turn into mush, don't they? And I think, and I think those numbers are inflated. Of course, but they're still down.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We should all just lie about it collectively. Yeah, everybody, how much you have sex? Six times a day. Average? Yeah, sure. Sometimes, you know, 12. Masterbaiting, they're blaming it too. The vibrator figures in two, a major study found that half of adult women had used one that's up from 10% something like that. Wonder if that's like also a thing where it's like, yeah, I didn't admit to it.

Why don't we make vibrators illegal? That'll solve the problem. They made liquor illegal once, because men were getting too sloshed to coming home and beating the fuck out of each other and their wives. We're not getting laid. Make a vibrator, that's illegal.

What about the blow job machine? Men aren't having, men aren't the problem, right? Yeah. Yeah. Lickers the problem. Coffee's not the problem, liquor. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. It's not the long work days, Lickers the problem. Coffee's not the problem, Slicker. It's not the long work days, it's the liquor.

Rhybrators illegal. That's my vow. That's my no wedding day until he gets his three way. After that, vibrator goes in the trash. Vibrator free. Vibrator in the fucking trash. Yeah, right. I find one vibrator in this house. It'll be a ritual right after the wedding ceremony,

right before the reception. Yeah, it's the destruction of the vibrator. There's gonna have to hide her vibrator. Yeah. I don't have a real doll around the house. Yeah. Big fake woman's ass. All right, let me get this, let me get this guy

and I really wanna talk to him. What do you think we should do to solve it? Sex crisis. I have no fucking idea. You have any idea? You can solve it yourself. Solve it personally. I don't know.

I think society goes through these phases depending on a lot of things. And I mean, I bet you could find periods in history. I may be that the data would be tough to come up with, but I wouldn't doubt that it's ebbed and flowed before. Oh, really? I mean, just throwing that out there. I don't know.

I would think it would have had to over some point. Oh, yeah. I feel like what if it has more to do with money? I don't know. Well, if I'm having money problems, I don't feel like fucking at all. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's a, that's a big man thing too. Like, a lot of self-esteem and stuff comes from how productive you feel, which translates into money,

stuff like that, where it's, oh yeah. It's Reagan then, big time. Or Nixon, whoever moved all of our jobs to China, might as well just take it all our erections with them. This is by MCMC. You know him. Yeah. We met him in Portland, didn't we? Yes.

Yeah. He performed on stage in Portland. Yeah. He's a cool guy. Round two, it's called. Round two remakes. He go. MCMC.

And I'm going to bring on the clash, brother's guy. I was a bit harsh in the past to the sneakie breed, but when the sweet greek greek shows up, weep to weep to weep to the freaks he meets around this show, but now it's bleak, because he keeps getting howl-did. Yo, Mike, check, can you hear me now? Furious George, with your weak right inside, and with your spurious laws, it's a lost course George, while you're forcing this fight, when we both know the coconut's power of spite,

it's not like one would have to try hard to prove your whole life has gone to shite because Eureka was proved entirely likely that you might be spiking out again when the course is fully in favour of the defense. You're a bully bullshitting, putting all of your time in to pull another's down, but I know you're going to find it's your fault. You're lame, that's why you're fainfade, so financially I want to give a stereo a taste. Let's see what a recipe to kill a fan base quick Please do the feed and then the show post- hate then erase the whole web page down to the ground and a lazy hit piece with a plastic crowd these crazy charges amounting now some shady trademark in parking wow now the

lawsuit you must see why we're doubting how you say you're over it how about where you're right now but you're free and getting ready they're preparing the debt getting sweat and probably regretting emails are said to assess the beast dressing that there's gonna be another wedding aggressively messing because of that thing that you've been dreading Let it go, oh no, those bros are gonna read the letter You're better off not knowing what's going on on the show Is set a new precedent, might be best just to settle better Get a steady job and never mind or better yet

Forget the letter set a date and book a jet to get away Whatever, not a jet for you then just an economy playing Either way you can say that you gave it your best And you'll never have to set foot of the song. I'm so close to the end of the song. I'm so close to the end of the song. Very good. That was cool.

Very good. Thank you, MC, MC. Let me see. I think I left some details out on hysteriosis. Sictions? Yeah. Well, not his sanctions on his dead heo's. Let me see if I can find it. The Georgeos.

Yes. The Maddox, Maddox's hysteria's $290. Yeah. Apparently, if Maddox doesn't pay, you can target his royalties and the rights to his book. And that's so much fun. Because his website is accessible in New York, he's doing business. I mean, there's a, it's a convenient for me. He does a lot of business there. So it can't be, he can't escape. He can't have it both ways. No, he can't, yeah.

And you get 20 years to try to recoup this debt. Really? And when is it, when does it technically do? Immediately. Immediately. Immediately starts immediately. So, and at an interest rate of 9% per year. Yeah.

Okay. If I was a serious, I would sell it, I would sell one every week. I would auction it off every week and you, you'll probably make, you'll probably make three grand off that selling it off like that. Mm hmm. Uh, it'd be fun. Cause then you can pursue Maddox for the, even if you owes you a dollar, you can pursue it.

Sure. Oh, it's hilarious. Get some advice. Advice. I like these advice, uh, segments. Me too. They're fun. Robert Arrujo says,

just jacked at three times today. But did he want his name, Red? I don't know. Oh. Just jacked at three times today, post tour catch-up session, and then got hit up to fuck this girl tonight, still jet lagged from Europe,

and worried I won't get it up later. What do any herbal remedial dick tips? Well, look, here's the thing. You gotta, if you're worried about penis failure, then you're already in trouble. Truth, you cannot bounce back from that. So it's like when you have to take a shit and you tell yourself, and you're in the car,

you have to take a shit and you tell yourself that your home is further away than it is. Yeah, 10 minutes from home. Go ahead. As soon as you smell the corral, that's where a shit flies out. You say, I'm 10 minutes away from home and I'm about to shit on my pants. I'm gonna tell myself that I'm 25 minutes away from home. And it works because you're... I'm not looking at any of the landmarks

that tell me I'm lying to myself. I'm gonna set my, I'm always late. I'm gonna set my clock 15 minutes ahead. And it works because you're stupid. This is, and I'm stupid too. We're all stupid, but it works because we're stupid. We're all stupid, it's something different, you know? Yeah, so this is what you do.

You say, you're gonna go over there. You're gonna go, this happens all the time. This is especially in this culture, hook up culture with Tinder and Uber. That is a lethal combination for a reptile, this function. Tinder, you got Tinder over here. These broads can get a cravingile this function. Tinder, you got Tinder over here. Yeah. These broads can get, they can get a, they can get a craving late at night.

And then you got Uber over here, you can use to summon them, so you're a house or your apartment, deadly combination, because you will have no doubt been drinking. And when she shows up, it's always gonna be disappointing. No one has ever showed up from Tinder

and you're like, oh, this is better than my expectation. Is that how the brain works? Is that how pictures work? Is that how Tinder works? Right. Yeah. Damn it. Ah, fucking angled me, you bitch. You're pissed down. Always look like that. That's fucking angled me. Yeah. It's a good term. Ah, your voice is way more annoying than no voice at all, which you had in the picture. I don't want to hear about your day. It's really turning me off. You got to tell yourself that you're not going to fuck tonight. You're not going to do it. Not even intending to do it. You're going to do it in the morning. The next time this is a lie, you're obviously going to fuck tonight, but this is something you're setting the expectation in your brain.

So you don't your brain doesn't spend the entire evening, salting your dick. Man, that's really good advice. Thank you. That's really good advice. It has worked. I have used it many times. Yeah, many times. It's almost a surprise when you're, and then you're like, oh, yeah, all right, yeah. All of a sudden you sit down a big hard cock.

Yeah. And you couldn't be happier. surprise when you and then you're like, oh yeah, all right, yeah. All of a sudden you sit down a big hard cock. Yeah. And you couldn't be happier. There you go. Robert tried that. Robert said musician by the way. Well, yeah, he said he just got off tour. Yeah. Stereo's went to one of his shows.

Cool. I think he's been to I think he's been to a road rage. I really like we've met him. I know he sent in a lot of music. Cool. Let's see here. Hello, Dick. I need let's see here. Hello, Dick. I need a big dick tip.

I have issues staying motivated to work out. I became overweight in college and have had problems maintaining a healthy weight ever since. In the years after college, I have only managed to stay motivated enough to lose weight twice. Both times I lost over 50 pounds in two months. Whoa, whoa. It's Christ.

That's a lot of weight in two months. The first challenge had a cash prize, and the second was being honored the best in my workplace. This past November, I turned 30 and want to push myself to lose weight again. Oh, yeah. If you, whatever you are at 30, you are for the rest of your life. That no one tells you that, but whatever momentum you have built up by the time you're in your like 30 to 33, that's what you are for the rest of your life.

So you better get started on that. But I need, I feel physically or anything. All your habits are stuck. Well, for work habits, yeah, relationship habits, everything stuck. Yeah, you've got to work really, really hard to, it becomes harder and harder to change things to like learn a new way of new discipline, things like that. I think you spend, I think you spend up until you're 30 building those habits and then 30 on trying to understand them. I'm trying to understand them and undo some of them if you can.

Well, yeah. But I feel I need to challenge in order to provoke motivation out of me since everything is a contest. Yeah. Is a motto of your show. I hope you or other dickheads can give me advice on how to make losing weight feel more competitive. No, normally I don't like taking advice from a woman,

but I'm considering listening to Jamie's opinion on the matter, not here. She's gonna say good at her Patreon. However, I am concerned about her Patreon. It seems a bit, eh, Leza, maybe her and I can work together on this. What is he trying to get Jamie's context through me? But once again, I need motivation.

Maybe I could be Jamie's first big biggest dickhead loser or something. If I lose weight, here's some stats about me. Male 30 to 50-ish. Okay. Six foot tall. That's a big boy. Yeah. Yeah. That's, yeah. 40 more, that's 30 more pounds than me. Well, I think that the only way to do this, first of all, I hate the concept of motivation. It is for the privilege in this boil to think that you need to magically be motivated in order for effort to be gratified in some way. I know what you mean. There is no gratification in life, period. Do it because you're disciplined.

The result of discipline is not euphoria. The gratification is in the doing. It's not. You don't think? There's no gratification. Oh, I think there's gratification. I think eventually you can work to that point where efforts pay off, but that initial...

Well, that's what I mean. I don't mean the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I mean, just doing. See, I think that you're like me though and where that is its own reward and that's not like that for everybody. No, but yeah, that's probably true. It's not like that for everybody

because you didn't grow up that way. You didn't get taught that as a kid. I was taught to do things routinely and that's just the way to be. Yeah. I agree with you, but I don't know if I wanna congratulate myself for the perspective that I think was ingrained in me

at a younger age without my consent. Fair enough. You got two choices here. You can give up the shit about motivation. It drives me nuts. Here, you're gonna, well, what's my motivation? That's what, yeah, that's the joke about actors, asking a director.

Yeah, what's my motivation to learn how to program? If you couldn't get that from the script, you're not a good actor or it's a junk script. You just gotta do it. You gotta do it every day. There's no motivation that will make you do it every day. You just show up and fucking do it. Your brain just says, go, go, make the decision.

Get out of bed, go. Make the decision to work out for five minutes and then before you know it, it's 25 minutes is past because you're not going to clearly you are not going to stop doing something that you're already doing. You're not working out and you're never going to stop doing that. So make yourself do something. And once you've started, you won't stop. You have to be a slave to your, you have to be a slave to your former self and not your present self. It's not the, you don't need the motivation to, you don't need the motivation to push yourself,

you need the, you need the lack of it to just obey. Just obey, you don't need to think yourself into getting up, you don't need to feel it, you just need to fucking do it. Understanding is not a prerequisite for compliance. Just do it. Get up and fucking do it. Or send me a picture of your flaccid dick,

and if you haven't lost weight, if you haven't got yourself down to two 10 in six months, I will show it to Jamie. Some motivation for you. Some motivation for you. Yeah. You can do one of those two things, but go ahead and send me a newspaper, a newspaper, you might have to go down to the store and get up a newspaper. I don't

have to have the motivation to do that. You can get a snack. Yeah. Get a snack at the store while you're there. Send me a picture of your dick. Flasad, I will know and not out of the shower either where it's nice and steamy, a cold, flasad picture of your cock. You send it to me with your goal. And if you do not meet that goal in six months, I will show it to Jamie and she will make fun of you. That is that is the weight loss service that I am now offering to anyone. Pretty good. To anyone.

The threat of public embarrassment is a huge motivator I would say. Oh, woo, woo, woo, especially her. Yeah. Anyway, go fuck yourself. I hope that's absolutely vicious. Well, she's not. That's the worst part.

No, I know. Even the smites, the smoo would be the small parts that I wouldn't want that. Hey, Dick, I've been listening to you show since last January. I've always found your advice both helpful and hilarious. I've passed it on to my younger brothers to help them ease their way into high school.

Oh, that's good. Fuck a teacher, that's my biggest regret. But make sure it's not one that you have a class with. Yeah. That's a relationship. Right. Your dick tips have helped me with anxiety and even get a girlfriend.

That's great. I have a bit of a problem though. My great-grandfather, George, was one of the last WWE two veterans alive. He just passed away the day before Thanksgiving. At 94, I'm not good at expressing myself and I don't feel I'm fit to help my family handle the loss, especially when there's so many of us What do

It was one time we got him a hearing aid and when we brought him home He shouted now y'all can't talk shit thought you'd appreciate the story. I mean you can't do anything Can't do anything, but how you now you all can't talk shit like that. I hear you mother fuckers Passed away the day before Thanksgiving. That's my work stuff. I don't feel I'm fit to help my family handle the loss. What does he think he needs to do? Yeah, let me put loss in perspective. Loss is so great that there is a trillion dollar child sex cult operating on the world called religion that people invented to deal with the concept of mortality and loss. So if they, if that's the lengths, we'll go to avoid it. You can't do shit. Yeah.

Just sit there. Sit there. Yep. There. It's all you need is a physical presence, sit there, don't say shit. Even if you fuck up, it doesn't matter. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Yeah, that's true. People have a way of, you're not gonna say anything that's gonna magically make everybody take a different perspective and just be like,

oh, I'm fine again. No, but you could get coffee. Yeah, that's something you could do. Yeah, yeah, no, that's you could. Take out the trash.. Yeah, that's something you could do. Yeah, yeah, no, that's you can take out the trash. Uh-huh. That's something you could do. Um, all the things that you don't want to, all the things that are hard to do or that you don't want to do, you could do all those things. Yeah. You could go get sandwiches. Yeah, that's something you could do. You could go get a newspaper from the liquor store and then send of your plastic dick and send it. People have a way of falling into roles in these types of situations, you know, where

it's heightened versions of themselves. So figure out what roles missing. And that's you, man. If you're thinking about, if you're already worried about what you could do to help, then you're probably, that's probably you ask people what they need. They usually know. I see even get madcucks in here. Oh, yeah. Hey, madcucks, you there. Hey, what's up, man? Hey, hi, tab. I'm going to need to call a madcuck. No, this is the man. How you doing? Just, you know, fucking busy as shit. I've just finished, I just finished 10 weeks of work, right?

10 weeks of work, I had nine days off during that 10 weeks. And Thanksgiving really fucked me, because Thanksgiving week I had three days off. Meanwhile, my fat piece of shit useless coworker in that started that 10 weeks out with fucking three weeks of vacation in goddamn Costa Rica. Oh, and then since he's been back from his three fucking weeks on vacation, he's come back and had 11 fucking days off.

Oh my god. And it's just on eating plantains with every meal. Oh yeah. Talking about Alaska. Oh man. Oh, then that I'm pretty good. I wanted to get your some advice from you because I've started dating again for the first time in a long time. And I'm not gonna, I'm trying not to make the mistakes of people that come before me. And so I'm gonna try and keep it like 90% because let's face it, women,

they don't really want to hold you. They barely want any. They don't want 90%. You know, you know, because like no one, no one, I, I realized this, the handle breaker and I were driving over the studio last week and we're driving. And I'm like, you know what? And maybe I am a fucking idiot. Why would I think to start dating someone three, trying to date people like just a couple

of weeks before Christmas? Why would I not say to fucking do this. I get Christmas. You could get engaged on Christmas. You could have to get somebody at Christmas present and go on the most painful dates of the year. Yeah. Yeah, as soon as the fucking lights, I can feel it coming.

Guess who's the zoo has Christmas lights. I went to, we went to that like two years ago. The zoo puts up five gallon buckets, like white home depot buckets, crams a 60 watt LED bulb, equivalent bulb in them, and then charges you $30 for the privilege. This is the magic of walking around a feces-cented zoo in the middle of the night to look at the fucking lights. Dick, I've done exactly the same thing.

You went to the lights of the zoo? Yes. Where you're waiting in line like you're going into a concentration camp that's lit up, that has just crummy Christmas lights thrown over it. I didn't see one animal either. No, they were all having seizures from the lights. Well, they're all having seizures from the lights. Well, they're all in bed, because it's fucking night time.

Yeah, that's why the zoo's not open at night. Because the animals go to bed. And then the other part of that is like, I hate Christmas music so much. Like it makes me, earlier this year, I took the radio out of my car because I heard Christmas music too early in the year. That's a much ahead Christmas season.

And that's like a really ugly side of my personality that I decided this is the best time to showcase me as an individual to people who I would like as a as a sexual partner. Yeah, this is going to be great. What are you all miserable? I've been calling into the elf line all season trying to dedicate a song to 80s girl and every time I talk about how she's

in a rack. The hell is the elf line? It's the Christmas, it's the serious Christmas music line. I call it, I get shit faced and call it and like, I just want to dedicate a song to my baby. She's in Afghanistan right now. We miss you.

Hey, come on. It's all funny, because I know she listens on the way to work. Because like, yeah, this will be real funny. Does it work? I don't know. I mean, there's no way to know. Well, she's listening. Yeah, it worked in that it's a funny story, I guess.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so, so anyway, so I'm doing the online dating thing and I feel like I'm at a handicap because, so I want your opinion. Wait, can I read part of that text that you sent me just the last part? Oh, oh, the, oh yeah, the, the, the Tinder match that I said, you look up, you're the whole thing. It's kind of funny. Yeah, let me start by asking for a little bit of a shout out.

We give a shout out to my boy, George Azunian, for, for being my secret tender wing man, because I put in there in my bio that I got sued for $380 million and the women fucking love it. He's an outlaw. Yeah. All right. Because he must be worth a billion dollars. Yeah.

He must be, nobody, nobody got sued for half a billion dollars. You didn't have, who couldn't pay it, right? Because he must be worth a billion dollars. Yeah, he must be. Nobody got sued for half a billion dollars. You couldn't pay it, right? Yeah. That's a little dough stored inside. Yeah. Do you want to do, you want me to do the girl and you be you, tab? Yeah, yeah, sure.

Okay, do you have it up? I do have it up. Go ahead. So I asked the messenger, ballet over opera, which is your favorite ballet? That's pretty good. I'm terrible at favorite questions. I like too many things. It's such a beautiful form of art. I started a ballet class this summer and it's been a ton of fun. I've always been in, I've always enjoyed dance. It's my favorite type of performance to be the lighting

designer. Oh, that's super cool. Possibly also cool. What's the story of your being sued for three hundred and eighty million? Second response. Yeah, good to see you. Easy. I was spotted to her with that saying, yeah, it's a really long story, but I'd be happy to tell you that over drinks. Yeah. Good. Which immediately got her interested in going out for that. So thanks, buddy. That's great. That's worked actually a couple of times now.

What an asset. I've always had to hide everything I do online because it's not about the women, right? Right. Give me a little bit. Just please don't Google me yet. And then Google fucked me by putting married in the auto suggest after my name. So if you typed in my name,

the first result was married. So every single fucking tinder only I ever had was, why is Google asking if you're married? Because so many people would ask if the men about it, I think Tucker Maxx, after we met a long time ago and he posted about meeting me. He's like, yeah He's a good guy. I think he's married or something like that. Oh God. So that's that was Google's take on it was he must be married You would rather pay three hundred and eighty million dollars. Yeah, no shit. Yeah, that search result come on

Oh Thinking about this since I've been doing the online dating thing and I feel like I'm at a disadvantage because I don't have I have that search result come up. Oh, good. Terrible time to start dating. Thinking about this since I've been doing the online dating thing and I feel like I'm at a disadvantage because I don't have any social media. So do you think it's time for me to get like an Instagram and just share some of the photos that you've done? For the love of God, don't do it. No, I don't think so.

No, because I'm not handsome enough to get to for social media to work for me, so I just say no. Like, unless you're Sean or above, I don't think any of that shit really works. Plus you're in fucking theater. Aren't you swimming in broads? The weird ones.

Okay, well, if you can get where the normal ones are, let everybody else know. We can go ruin it. Sean, how tall are you? I am a little, I'm between 6'1 and 6'2". I thought you were taller than that. No. Speaking of bigger than Sean, I've been seeing this one chick who's 6'5". My girlfriend's referred to two eyes, the Amazon. Well, is she proportioned, you know, well, she's well proportioned, but I mean,

she's way more intolerant than I am. That's really tall, which is really, I mean, you sometimes have your, some women, like bean poles at that height. Oh, and then I thought you were asking if her dick was bigger because she was so tall. Do you wear, do you wear heels when you guys come out? Oh, yeah. Well, I have, I have my, I just, just had a couple of years ago. I got his platform shoes from the 70s and then that gets me close to her height.

That's smart. Yeah, yeah. It does feel like shit when, how tall are you, your tall? I'm six foot two, which is, you know, I'm on the tall side of average, but, yeah, yeah. It does feel like shit when... How tall are you? You're tall. I'm six foot two. Yeah. Which is, you know, I'm on the tall side of average, but... Oh, yeah.

But like, it was kind of, it was kind of a nerving when we first met and I was like, Whoa, what is going on here? That would be a nerving. Six... I couldn't, I couldn't do that. I couldn't date a girl if you saw her than me. Well, not many are. Yeah, but then they throw the heels on

and all the sudden still not many are. Yeah. Wow, six, five, six, five, man. And then Sean, what are you gonna do in bed? Like that's when you're in a 69ing type of situation, you've got to like really,'ve got to have a long tone. So, well, when you're horizontal, everything lines up just right.

I mean, all right, what were you going to say to Sean? Sean, how low of a V-neck is too low? Is Mad Cux a V-neck guy? No, I'm a V-neck guy, but if I were to switch, I need to know how low I can go before it like becomes. I mean, if you're going down to your like sternum, that's a little ridiculous, isn't it? I mean, isn't that like where you're, isn't that where your ribs got a VNX together?

I think that goes down about that for. It's too scandalous for me to wear and come on. Yeah, I mean, you're just, I don't know. I've got a VNX, and I thought come on. I don't know. I've got a V-neck that I thought about it. I do know that there are some V-necks that are so shallow they look like crew necks and I don't wear those. Yeah, but just like I got a long-term,

so we're going to try and try and... What's that? Your V-necks have gotten a little bit longer over time. I've got a V-neck that changes me into a different person when I wear it. It's so low. Is that right? Yeah.

I get really swarthy. Huh. Yeah. It that right? Yeah. I get really swarthy. Huh. Yeah. It can happen. Yeah. All right. Mad Cooks, you got anything that makes you rage?

Sam. Just my fucking piece of shit coworker right now. I just, I don't really care. I'm really him, but I just have ultimate contempt for the guy. He does absolutely nothing and he continues to fail upwards. And every day I fantasize about like cutting his breaklines on his way home. Yeah, this isn't the time of year for you to start dating. I don't think More breakline cutting less dating. Are you coming out to LA?

I well, you know, I want to it's just fucking finding like any amount of time this week I finally I took two days off and then I finally was actually given scheduled for a weekend, which is incredible. So, you know, I'm just, I'm like now trying to recuperate from the fact that in the last nine weeks I haven't cooked a meal in my new apartment. I haven't like fucking cleaned anything. All I'm basically home to do is do laundry and sleep.

Yeah. And then also drinking. I don't know what I would do with a woman who's six-five. I know. You know, it's too weird. It's too weird for me. That's really tall. And the big girls, I guess, never, they get no love.

Because how, you got to find a guy who's like six-eight. Yeah. Wouldn't you think? I mean, to look normal in photographs. Yeah, or she's got to carry around like an apple crate. All the time. Because she's eating so many apples. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, Madkex, get out of here. Yeah, thanks, man. I'll see you later. Yeah, see you. See you. Yeah. Here's what I don't get.

Let me see if I've got anything else. Do you want to hear the erotic story of... Yeah, I kind of do. Oh, I've got some comments here. Gun comments. Oh, I mean, I got that private investigators one, but I'm going to see if that guy writes me back. Yeah, okay.

So I want to talk to him. Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure. The guy who hired a private investigator to research a woman at his job who spurned him, I would like to know if he's real or not. Yeah, he did that or is contemplating doing it. I can't, I don't remember exactly. Let me see. I think he was, as he hired,

oh, he hired a private investigator to get proof that she's a whore growing behind her boyfriend's back. And once I have proof, I want to talk to that guy. I did his whole plan. Yeah, see if that's a for real or not. Yeah. I think he's completely serious. Yeah.

Me too, but I want to know. Yeah. I want to, I want an email first. Here's from Reddit, I want to, I want an email first. Here's from Reddit, family duty, family duty, family duty, ho-door. So it was when my computer asks me if I want to save my changes before exiting a program, but I'm real fucking sure that I didn't make any changes.

That is annoying. Yeah. Did I, did I delete half of this thing or? I opened it up just to look at it for a minute. And then it closed, it wanted to close it. And it's like, do you want to make say changes? I don't know. What did you, what did you do?

Hasn't match up to my expectations. Yeah. Alex Svivren says, Sassy corporate social media. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Straight, March them off of fucking peer. All the normies, loving, uh, fucking loving Wendy's Twitter passive aggressively sassing everyone with witty knee slappers and inoffensive minions. 10 times Wendy's Twitter was savage. I can't

even reading these top seven Wendy's Twitter comebacks, et cetera. You know, it's all just conjured up in a boardroom to try and sell you more estrogen-packed deep-fried cancer. Right? Yeah, the first one. You put it that way. No, I don't want to eat Wendy's. The first one was good, but I really fucking hate the sassy corporate Twitter accounts.

Now, Tom the Terrible, being invited to places, despite not knowing a single person there that see corporate Twitter accounts. No. Tom the terrible, being invited to places despite not knowing a single person there or what the gathering's about. Ah, it's a good opportunity to lie. So, it could be whoever you want. Yeah, it could be fun. It could be a pilot.

I always tell everybody, if you look, if you wanna lie, just say you're the host of this show. People don't know, you know about this show. I'm sure you could do a convincing job lying about it. You're on Tinder, whatever. Like, what do you do? I host this podcast. Go check it out.

They're not going to know. Yeah, true. You can make a squeaky voice. Just say, oh, I talk like this when I'm on the show, but really I actually talk like this. Yeah. Javid Sanders says, when you talk to someone about something you're interested in,

but they get all hoitty, toyty, and say something like, must be nice to have all that free time on your hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's real fucking shit heads. Must be nice. Yeah, that must be nice, yeah. That will have free time. I'm down here shoveling shit 24 hours a day. Yeah, it's real nice.

Some, I don't know how I ended up talking to you here. It's usually so much nicer than the... Yeah, right. I had one from your brother, actually. Real, what? A rage? Yeah, here, let me read it. It's a pretty good one.

Yeah. Well, he's a pretty smart guy. Here's what he told me. Okay. Here's a rage. People putting strangely shaped or oversized shit in the kitchen garbage just opened it up to find five coat hangers in there. Yeah. G you think that may end up being a problem? Yeah. I think what he's really saying is women loading shit into the garbage because they don't want to take it outside, but they fucking can't stand seeing a little

bit of clutter on the counter. So instead of just letting it sit there like any normal person would, they take coat hangers from, or from the laundry, hangers from the laundry store and cram them into the trash and they're wire and springy, and they're gonna block things from instant, they're just setting it up for an instant trash-related disaster as you're rushing with a bag of garbage to take it outside. And seven a.m.

For some reason, the trash always comes at seven a.m. your entire life, no matter where you move. The garbage always comes, you see them driving around, getting stuck behind them at three p.m., 11 p.m. but your house is always seven in the fucking morning that the trash comes, setting you up for failure. Yeah, it's because I think what he's talking about.

Terror through the bag. Now, you're running out through the garage, trying to get the thing in the garbage can and out to the street. Mysterious, sheer leaking after you with pestilence leaking out around you. That's if the thing doesn't tear open and spill garbage all over,

make a trail of garbage out to the garbage can. Making the can itself leak because it's been infused with disease for an entire week because you couldn't take, whoever did it couldn't stand the sight of some unused hangers hanging in the fucking closet, number one, where they belong, or number two, leaning up against the trash, throwing them outside into the yard yard where everybody knows that they belong and no one's walking outside, seeing a bunch of hangers in the yard and thinking, well, he's probably going the house.

I'll just pick these up and ask, they go in the fucking trash. Yeah. I'm halfway there, I'll do it later. Yeah. You don't need to hide. Wire hangers in the garbage. Yeah?

Wire hangers in the garbage. Yeah. Wire hangers in the garbage. Yeah. Good one. Good rage. I have experienced it. I know. Every man has, take my suits to the cleaners, take my shirts to the cleaners.

You always get that janky shit back in response. God forbid, it exists in your home as evidence of your filth, as evidence that your filth, as evidence that something needed to be cleaned that exists in some kind of limbo between use and garbage. God forbid, it sits there as a reminder of something that was done and not in a state of permanent, I don't even know what it's called,

a permanent decoration that is a house otherwise god forbid god forbid that something is out of place for five minutes uh... well these hangers can't sit here on the on the table where someone could take them out i'm just gonna smash them into the fucking trash can and rip through the bag.

Metal hooks. Oh yeah. Well, the bag is ruined then. Oh yeah, take it out. Or it's going to be as soon as you pull it out and tie it. Take another bag out from the sink, put the hangers in that bag, and then put them in a cupboard or a drawer or do anything other than what you're doing with the hangers.

It's ladies. It's literally the worst thing. The worst thing you're doing with the hangers. It's ladies. It's literally the worst thing is to do with the hangers. It's the worst thing. It's a prank and it's not a funny one. It's a mean spirited prank that you're putting us through by booby trapping the garbage with hangers.

Right. That you're gonna ask us to take out later. Knowing full well that it's going, that it's liable to explode. The many ways in which women have booby trapped our lives. What was I gonna, I'm gonna play a song. Oh yeah, do you wanna read the erotic story of, oh, let's see, what's your dad like?

Or a guy whose friend roof Rufi to him. Probably that one. Let's do that one. Okay. Here you go. This one is. Is this Tanner? No.

Oh, here's Safe State corrupted with for the last time, Denzel. Because Denzel said he was done with the show, I guess. Yeah, yeah. He's all up. Yeah, remember, he wasn't upset, excuse me. Okay. He was all not upset.

Alright, at Peach. It's like... Yeah. There's things I want to get, there's this for the wheel, that's a cent of the fueling, You are such a stupid guy and I can't understand why, you're a duchy like this one and two rings, You can't run bringing up this mantra that you've been by, what exactly does keeping this real? Well, you're supposed to get out of context conversations conversations But the moment tells me out of that stupid old deal Get in sale! You won't be fucker

For what exactly was the plan? Did you want to get in bad, Dan sale? You really fucked it up now Fucking badass You know us all will take the blood of the pro Dan sale! You raised queer I hope you're not too thin

You're gonna be on Twitter, Dan sale! Dead sell, you raise queer, I hope it's not too thin It's gonna damage us when our dead sell Listen, I'm not any more, why don't you trust it? Nor this falling situation, we're all together So now you just have found a show that made you popular Won't even give yourself the chance to say You try to make yourself big, dumb, or close words For each and people online, it's too them not to say You keep on lazy, glassy, antagonized, you try and try to demonize I'm trying to make myself victim of those words For which, and people online, it's too them that is what you said

You keep on lazy-glossing and trying to recognize you Try to keep the lies, but no one is buying it It's not this price, your thesis dies, my facts lie It's real, this guy's just a trist, no fool us Yeah! Dead sale! You're all that fuckers, when did the no-down spawn Was it the page we are in, skin sale? You really fucked it now, I can't believe you found Oh Why don't you blow her up all night? What's up, boss?

She gets off her sound. What is the hell with this thing with you? What is the hell with this thing with you? What is the hell with this thing with you? I just know you're gonna fuck her Why not only me in the show And tell her what she really knows And tell her what she really knows And tell her what she really knows And tell her what she really knows And tell her what she really knows And tell her what she really knows

And tell her what she really knows And tell her what she really knows And tell her what she really knows You were so entertaining, I just said I'm waiting there still. And I'm gonna come back on so we can pull you back. Just keep my distance, you know, we fucking are. Fuck yeah. Yeah. No, I hope he gets a little perspective at some point, changes mine, comes back on. Yeah, I mean. I like the guy a lot. Thanks to its Gilligan from Reddit slash discord for the bitch in guitar solo.

Save State corrupt. It says. That's very cool. All right. You read this story. Read the story. We'll do some voice mail and then call it a day, folks. Yeah, we go. The Dict show presents an erotic story from a reason.

Yes. All right, all right, all right. I don't know if I want to read this guy's name. I'll just leave it. I'll leave it up to your imagination. Your dick is requested. Here's a full version of the story I shared on Facebook. If you use it, feel free to subtract anything you think is too long-winded. What follows is an account of my friendship with an overarching, overachieving, undergrad, rapist. Our setting is in early 2000s, northeastern college for kids with wealthy families that either didn't have the brains or the initiative to get them a seed in the Ivy League.

The kind of place that attracts some of the worst human beings that one would privately maintain deserve chemical castration, but are nonetheless a good time. I was moderately popular, due in part to my insistence on taking nothing seriously and generally not being from a family wealthy or well-known enough to inspire any jealousy or otherwise make me a threat or a target.

You really, it's very important that you always have less of an advantage than other people. That's something that's very important in life to always stress, that you have less than other people. Yeah. It's easy mode. Everybody, it's important to apply, imply that everyone else is playing on some kind of an easy mode and you are playing on the difficult mode. Yeah, well, it's definitely a way to rationalize you, you know, not coming as far or right. I mean, it's, you know, which is important. Uh, I don't just see anybody. Many friends, I had many friends with various levels of social adjustment, but there was one in particular. They don't always struck me as having something notably, aberrant about him.

He was a townie, and by default, he always had drugs and alcohols. He was, of course, always welcome at parties and trips, and the odd night just spent drinking in the dorms. A townie. That's like an old timey term, isn't it? I think they, no, they used to use it in the Northeast. Oh, okay.

Yeah. But it always seemed like he wanted you to have fun and get fucked up to a bizarrely aggressive extent. Hmm. That happens. Guys, we got to, we got to do shots, man, do you shot? You got to drink, well, we got to hit this. We like, they say magic Johnson was like that.

With the 80s Showtime Lakers. He'd have these major parties at his house where everybody was expected to fuck these broads to the point where fuck oh yeah, yeah, like every because basketball they all cheat on their fucking wives. I mean, there's like a maybe a few who don't, but it's just kind of one of the you're on the road half the fucking time and you're an NBA basketball player. I wouldn't you. So it's like, yeah, to the point where he would even be like, like opening doors to make sure like people were fucking the things are happening.

Yeah. Like really? It's like he wanted everybody on the team to, uh, yeah. Uh-huh. That's weird. Yeah. That's a little too much. Uh, it's all alleged, but, um, it, but it was like he would internalize you not getting as absolutely plastered

as possible and then would manifest in this faintly uncomfortable and oddly physical behavior. He would never attack you or anything, but he'd just grab your shoulders and get really aggressive and tell you, you need to drink this and push a drink at you. I didn't think that much of it at the time. And I had plenty of friends and frats and supper clubs where peer pressure, is this letter from the 1800s? Well, no, that's what I mean time that supper clubs. And I know there's a different thing. This thing, the old, yeah, right.

He's coasted the blue bloods. Yeah. Where peer pressure, that makes the I wasn't, I didn't come from wealthy family, even funnier. He's talking about supper clubs and eye wasn't, I didn't come from wealthy family even funnier. He's talking about supper clubs and, well, yeah. I'm not like one of those. No, lovey. Of course.

Been a lovely party. I don't come from wealth, right? Of course, you know. I am wealth. Yeah. You need to drink this. I didn't think much of the times I had plenty of friends and frats and supper clubs where peer pressure, especially where drinking was concerned, was

due recueur. Though in hindsight, this was the old glory of red fucking flags. One night we were at a cooler party, a fairly noxious combination. I should read this and I got a one night we were at a cooler party, a fairly noxious combination of a ray, even a reggae party that was popular with the locals at the time quite And had been alternating between snorting Benzer's and Kirk Kane with alcohol and dancing with various tensile-dub college thoughts He was cutting the line so I assume he put way more rufanol The normal in my portion all right Wait back it up. Yeah more rufanol the normal in my portion. All right.

Wait, back it up. Yeah, more rufanol than normal. Yeah. I came about to the sounds of Berlin Sebastian or some other Sappy Indie garbage that was modest at the time. My pants were down and someone was attempting to fillate my listless cock. Coming out of a blackout to a sexual situation wasn't that abnormal for me at the time, and my friend had long hair. So it took a moment to process the entirety of my situation.

I distinctly remember seeing the idiot, the idiotic Bob Marley air freshener hanging from his rear-view mirror. And looking down at him, trying amber dexterously jerk us both off while leaning over to try and get my cock in his mouth He's in a car Yeah, he got Root feed at a cooler party He woke up to his friend trying to suck him off. Yeah. And jerk both of jerk himself off.

Maybe I should just end it there. Oh, yeah, you cannot. It's incredibly difficult to relay the revulsion that accompanies the exact moment when you realize you've been roofied by some guy that is sucking your cock. That's fucking wild. It's fucking wild. Oh, okay. Wow. I mean, there's no taking that back. Can't put the shit back in that horse, right?

No. You cannot put the shit back in that horse, right? No. You cannot put the shit back in that horse. Well, to years, an old time expression from the Northeast. But I would describe it as being a kin to the most violent dry heave you've ever experienced. Like an ever-clear dry heave. The kind where you think that must have torn my esophagus. Yeah, I was still well under the effects of the benzos. So movement was hazy and in slow motion,

but I managed to slam his head into the dash and pin it with my knee as he screamed, just relax dude, take it easy. My God. They should make this into like a commercial, no drinking commercial. Yeah, it's better than drink moderately. Jesus.

Needless to say, I didn't take a single fucking thing easy and manage to roll out of the car and into the freezing-ass woods and whatever shit hole with the corner of the world I found myself. Where did he drive them out to the woods? I guess. Oh my God. It's a lot of work. There's a lot of work to suck a guy's cock. I would figure that cock would be easier to suck than this.

Yeah, and you could probably suck a cock that belonged to an owner that wanted to be sucked. They shut down all the rest stops. And this is what guys have to resort to. Roofying their best friends at the college. Yeah. I made my way to a main road in a 24 hour convenience store where I discovered I was actually several counties away

from where the party had been. Holy shit. actually several counties away from where the party had been. Holy shit! Uh, I bought some cigarettes and called my girlfriend who came and picked me up. This was not the first time she had to bail me out of a party gone off the rails. Oh man.

And I was too wasted to talk about what happened. So nothing really seemed out of the ordinary to her. Of course, being a woman and compulsively playing mommy to everyone around her, she lectured me like a fucking school principal on my reckless use of drugs and alcohol for the entire ride back to campus. She just got raped. Yeah, well meanwhile, yeah, he was lectured in another way about responsible use of drugs and alcohol. What can you say? You know, what do they say?

Experience is the best teacher. Well, I drank so much that my friend pretty much drove me to another state and tried to orally rape me. Yeah. Well, have I got a lecture for you? Buck, buck, buck, buck, buck, buck, buck, buck, buck. Wow. That's a rough one.

Wow. That's a rough one. Ah. Yeah. Now for the really fucked up part of the story. Oh. The next day I went over what had happened with my girlfriend and she became extremely weepy and fearful, almost like a child that had done something wrong.

I couldn't understand her reaction and she immediately left and avoided me for several days. Whoa. What he's probably because she was, he was a ghost. That guy had actually died two years ago. Right. Oh my God. That was very woods.

That was a ghost. He choked. He choked on a dick. Yeah. Yeah. And he roams those woods. Right. Looking for, looking for suckable cocks. Um, when she finally did surface.

Looking for the antidote. Yeah. For the poison that he sucked. When she finally did surface, she sat me down and whimperingly recounted a story of a party the previous semester where he had followed her into the bathroom and raped her. Oh, the same guy. Yeah. Oh, she hadn't.

He's on a opportunity. I'll the same guy? Yeah. Oh, she hadn't, he's on it to tell me. I'll give him that. Yeah. Though she hadn't wanted to tell me about it because we'd been on a break at the time. Uh-huh. Come on. At the time, she thought I wouldn't believe her.

Mm-hmm. Huh? She's got a point. As shocking as this was, she went on to say, I'm sure you have believed her. I'm sure you have believed her. I've heard several girls on the team. Wow. On the team? On the team?

Which I had previously dated, yeah, I don't know. On her team. I was mortified, it was a rape team, but she was on. Oh yeah, yeah. That's another twist. Yeah, oh, okay. Oh, she's on a rape team. Right.

Mm-hmm, got him. A rape rape? Yeah. I was mortified that this had gone on as long as it had without me finding out. Yeah, no shit. I knew a few of the girls had brothers and cousins that are school and neighboring schools. So I went to them and explained everything. Yeah.

It was clear that we had to do something, but none of the girls wanted to go to the cops. Yeah. It sounds like maybe a little street cost. This is just coming. Yeah. What are the cops going to do? I mean, they're not magic. No. No.

So we decided we would do something ourselves. I called him the guy and said I wanted to put what had happened behind us. Yeah. Oh, here we go. Saying that I could get us to a party at a friend's front. We drove right into the water. Lots of cocks there. It's, it's Royce with cocks.

Yeah. Larzy with cocks. He saw him and oops, spilled a bunch of Magnum condoms out of his backpack. Oh, geez. I'm just going to this lake party. Yeah. But I don't have a ride. Oh, right.

We drove out to their lake house that weekend. But we swing by the woods, where we got him out to their boat house to smoke some weed over the next hour. So we bounced his head off the ground so many times that I was sure he would die. Oh shit. It's funny because some of the guys that took part

didn't even seem like they cared what he had done. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, that's funny. That's funny. We drove him back to campus and left him by one of those emergency call boxes and hit the panic button. When I was setting Dunny lost one of his eyes and contracted pneumonia during recovery, which apparently shut down his colon. Do you wear as a glass eye and a colostomy bag to this day?

Damn. Pretty good one. To yourotic stories from real men. Brought to you by the... Fucking rapist, man. Fucking rapist. Fucking rapist, man. Uh, well, obviously I can't conga don't anything

that was done in that email. No, because it's illegal. Yeah. And that would violate Various terms of services. Yeah, I have agreed to by hosting the show, but I appreciate a good story. Yeah, good story Which that was all right everybody this is been the dick show Oh Alan all right. Yeah, Colin Hey Alan, what do you got? Not for you

I'm sure you button on anything. What's good? It's an Alain. Hey, what's up, buddy? He wants to be a news baby. You got some news stories? I've got very important news stories. Okay. What do you got, man? It's wait.

Do you guys know what a nitty-pot is? Yeah. You pour that, you heat up water and you like pour it in one nostril and it comes out the other side of your head for people with nothing to do all day. Some 69 year old woman in Seattle found out the hard way that those can kill you. Yeah. Oh, you know, ha ha ha.

She went to use her nitty pot. And this is not a fill on her head from the cupboard. No, actually brain eating amoeba is we're found all over her brain. Yeah, probably not a nitty pot. Don't try found over her brain. Yeah. Probably not a Betty pot. Don't try to do weird shit. Yeah. Well, there's a lot of water, but like, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, because if she's not boiling, it's not boiled, it's not sanitized. It could have been air-crum. Yeah, it simply says that she had used tap water to rinse her sinuses. And then she contracted brain eating amoebas from it. Yeah, well, all these these were sciences were clear. Yeah. You should have to worry about that problem ever again. No. Okay. The next one is a man was arrested in Texas for telling kids the Santa isn't real. Oh, good. Fuck him. Yeah. Fuck that guy. Why didn't tell kids Santa wasn't real?

He was at a church function protesting at some mall in Texas. Yeah. And they kept trying to tell him to leave. So they called the cops and they actually arrested him for trespassing. But he was standing there yelling at kids, telling him that Santa isn't real.

At the mall. I mean, that's, that's mass execution of Santa to a lot of kids. Yeah. They're all standing online. You got to find something that guy believes. Tell him it's not real. Right. Find his favorite sports team.

Now the Maverick suck, dude. Yeah. They're no good. Timberwolf never knows. The Spurs are no good. Where was he, Texas? Texas. Yeah, it's very sucked, dude. Just no, go after the Cowboys. They'll go ballistic probably.

Oh, yeah. That's America's team, Sean. Cowboys are not going to work to them. Yeah. Can't go after the, yeah, I mean, just sit and get and sit and jail them. Tony Ramos, gay. It's been great. If people get crazy about this, he was arrested for trespassing.

All right. The rest of the trespassing, but he was being a dick, so he deserved it. And then this one, this just came up today. There's a beauty pageant participant, Miss Kentucky. She was arrested for felony. Oh, it was a felony. She, um, well, she turned into a teacher after doing all this miskintucky stuff, right? She got arrested for sending nude photos to a 15-year-old student of hers. Yeah, topical. It's the relationship that's the problem. I'll take those

nudes every day, but I gotta, she's got you right where she wants you. You have to sit in class and respond to her fucking news. How'd she get caught? Uh, the parents were going through the, the kids spawn. God damn it. Because she was trying to make, she was trying to force herself to his family Christmas party. That's how and the kid finally broke down.

It was gonna be a puzzle and everything. He doesn't have the maturity of a man to stiff arm these bitches off. And they're trying to constantly force relationships shit on you. He didn't know how to do it. So he broke down and told his parents. And he's like, oh, well, are we dating now? I need to know what? I put in my Christmas card.

Do I have a boyfriend? What do I tell my friends? Can we go to my friends holiday party? I've been telling everyone about you. And he's like, I can't fucking take this. Oh, bitches. Bitches, we're doing a shit dick. I guess you need to hear me.

You need to hear me. Four topless photos to this kid between August and October and they're charging her with four counts of distributing obscene materials to a minor. So each picture was one count. That's a felony. What the fuck is wrong with us? The felony. The fucking felony.

To a 15 year old. To a 15 year old. Yeah, 15 year old. She's a... She's bad. Tits. Good for her. Tits.

Yeah. Tits. Nothing. Go to a topless beach. Nothing. Yeah. for tits, right? Tits, nothing. Go to a topless beach, nothing. Yeah. It's nothing. It's nothing.

The kids been looking at tits for years now. It's nothing. Your, her tits are nothing. So, every day's weird, just another pair of tits. There's weird value. We let women get away with their precious fucking tits that nobody can see. No, there's a big reveal.

Well, I'm trying to protect him. That's what's fucking ridiculous. No, it's they're all children. They're all ganging up on her because she's wise to the scam. That's why she's ruining it for everybody. She's deterred in a punchball. There's a woman coming down and I was saying, well well look, we have to, if we all start giving tits away, all of our tits are gonna look, say goodbye to the free dinners.

If you, if you constantly want to start walking around topless, you could say goodbye to the, to, to Friday nights. They're not, these guys are gonna pay for dinners off a tinder. If, if there's topless chicks walking around. We're getting the tits for free. Get fucking real. Never will be legal for that reason, never. All right, now and not for human consumption.

Get out of here, buddy. Buttermann. Yeah, see, thank you, thank you. It's big tits. Big tits. Yeah. Ruining fun for everybody. What the fuck is the deal? It's big tits. Big tits. Yeah. Rueaning fun for everybody. What the fuck is the deal?

It's erotic, the breast. Is erotic, yeah. So it's not a sex organ. It's not really, there's not a lot of detail revealed whether it's topless or not. It's basically the same. There's a lot revealed with the other, with the genitals. Yeah, okay.

Right. A cup is a lot different than a guy's dick in your face. Tits are not that way. They're basically the same except the shirt part in the middle isn't there. That's it. No big deal, but big tits, snows, you start giving them away. Chicks are gonna have to pay for a lot more shit. Yup.

You wanna go to dinner? Not really, I could just walk down the street and see tits. Why would I do that? I'm going out drinking where there's a number of topless women right around. Why would it ruin the whole thing? Oh, ruin the whole scheme. All right, everybody, this has been the Dick Shoe. Dick Shoe, Dick.Show, patreon.com slash the Dick whole thing. It will ruin the whole scheme. All right, everybody, this has been the Dix show.

Dix show, Dix show, Patreon.com slash the Dix show. She can see next, excuse it. Oh, you're present. Okay. I have a present. Yeah, you have a present. Hold on. Let me get the full, let me get the wide cam.

I'll get it, honey. This needs a wide cam. Yeah, because I want to wheel it in and see your face. Wheel it in? Yeah. All right. Okay, I'll say, Sean, thank you for doing the show for so long with me

and for suffering in the previous incarnation of the show. Thank you for doing this show for two years. I know at times it has been stressful. So I got you something for Christmas that I hope will make this show more comfortable for you in the future. Well, this is from you. Yes. Oh, boy. I'm closing my eyes. Oh boy, I'm closing my eyes. Close your eyes. Alright, I'm looking away. What?

I'm looking away. Alright, close your ears. Alright, I'm closing my ears. Okay, here it is. Oh, damn, it's not a joke or anything. It's a state of the art chair. Thank you. Sit in it, please.

God, sit in it. I thought for sure this, I mean, you know, good deed goes unpunished. I thought for sure this was going to... Well, it does have a, I hit a dildo in the center thing and the bottom that will shoot out. Oh, that's awesome. Thank you very much. Have a seat. I have a sat on it. I don't want to make it gross and hot. The reason I was sweating before the show started is I was putting it together.

And, well, no, sit on it and then that came. Oh. That's why I moved it. That's why I went to three cams. I can still see you there. Yeah, take a seat. What do you think? Is it better? Oh, that's fucking great. You know how fucking hard it is to shop for a chair online. We got damn reviews. I had to read to get that fucking thing. There you are. Oh, I'm over here. There. Oh, yeah.

What do you think? It's fucking, this is great. All right. It's, it's, it's, it doesn't have as many adjustments as some. Now, this is way comfortable. Thank you. Yeah, sure. Awesome.

80s girl decided, it said she would help me put it together right before the show because I got here at the last minute. And then she put the parts on in the wrong order. She put, the one thing she put on was in the wrong order. So... Then you have to undo it in order to attach other things for you. Yeah, I didn't want to, the screws got stripped.

It was very upsetting to me. But... Oh man, that's killer. There you go. All right, everybody. Um, see you next Tuesday. Thank you, thank you. Uh, this is from Visi G drinking contest, two alcoholics, both of you.

Drinking contest two, this is for me and Peach, I think. Here you go. When everything is blinking, you can bet he's drinking. You ain't got a shot if that's not what you're thinking. Go on and let it sink in, stronger than Lincoln. In an alcoholitimation, ration a Lincoln. Peaches are sco-o-o-one, welcome, me to gloss the wall. Nearly belching, my contest are thrown. No more questioning.

We finally get to find out who is the best of them. We finally get together when I get to settle this Nothing's fine, I'm in a little thread in this Everything's a challenge, I'll string to this Did it first as peach once the ship once weak Whenever peach is snacking, you can bet she's packing You ain't got a shot, if must it is what you lack Can go on and drink that play under telling be back

We don't know that you bring stronger men to their kneecaps Dick is a pro, he drinks a never-ending tap Peach won the first one, but it'll be a rematch When contests are thrown, then we'll maybe that now What about to know, who'd about to win me black out? Everything's a combat, let's string to that Peach versus Dick once week, once the shit And eventually one will give up and the other will win

When maybe the boost fest only once it begins. It's a good song. We've had some good ones today, all of them. Yeah. A strong music episode. So I was going to get two of those chairs, because then I thought that I would let you test it before I got another of the same one. Oh, yeah.

Maybe if you don't like that one, I would get a better one for myself. No, it's going to be a big difference. I never noticed, but then last, it was the last episode, you're like, oh, yeah, hour two, I really started shifting. I was like, oh, man, that's true. Oh, yeah, definitely. I'm always in pajamas, but Sean's got to wear jeans. Well, I think it came up on the chat, I think.

Didn't it or something like that? Yeah. All right, let me get this gentleman on. Mr. Clash Brothers, are you there? I'm here. Hey man, what do you want me to call you on the show? I don't know if you want me to use your right. Incomming Ado.

Ado, all right. Ado. Sean Ado has made a fantasy come true for me and probably a lot of guys like me. I'm going to bring up his game on the on the video screen right now. Here we go. Ado, you took, it's called super clash brothers. Look at that. And you took all of the most We go. A-D-O-U-Took, it's called Super Clash Brothers. Look at that. And you took all of the most popular 8-bit games, 8-bit and 16-bit games like Mario, the Mario from Mario, one, the Mario from Mario 3, Link from Zelda, Sonic, and you put them all together in a fighting game,

like a Smash Bros. style game, but it's perfect. Like they all act exactly like the original characters. It's so fucking cool. That must have taken some expertise. Yeah, I'm gonna play your trailer while you're talking, but can you tell us about like, how you get started on doing this?

And I don't know what the future of this is. And have you been sued yet? while you're talking, but can you tell us about like how you get started on doing this and I don't know what the future of this is and have you been sued yet? I mean, I'm gonna play this for Sean, but you please give us some history on this project Yeah, so I Is started learning programming actually just a couple years ago or about two to three years ago So this is basically my first game I'm or my first game as a programmer. Yeah.

I worked on another game as a 3D modeler and animation design and stuff. Okay. So you're familiar with like game play before you started programming this? That was correct. Yeah. Yeah.

I have another company with my brother and a friend. And we already had another game out with and it's called Murder Miners and that was our big hit. That's kept us going full time for the last few years. I was able to work full time on this. Also, this was supposed to be my side game, but yeah, progress was really slow on that. And we're working on a sequel to our other game. But to murder minors. That's the other game.

Yeah, it's the first Mario and Bowser, right? Yeah, dude, isn't it cool? Yeah, fire Mario or whatever. It gives me goosebumps watching it. Like, um, see, I remember all this, even though I never, I mean, I used to play Nintendo and like, yeah, Sega, I think we had Genesis or something like that and all that but I stopped gaming a long time ago, but I remember all the I remember like, you know, I was playing hockey people would people would play Mortal Kombat and all that shit and I'm well familiar with all these characters. It's really cool.

You got Mega Man in here. It's cool because like, you know, my nephew, he's, I got a nephew, he's, he just turns six. And we asked him what, he's really into games. Yeah. And he's really good at them too. We asked him what he would have if he could make his own games. He was talking about it. You know, all of a sudden I'm going to be, and he goes, I would take all the characters and put them together in one game so they could all fight.

And we're like, oh, dude, that's called Smash Brothers. But I gotta say this is better. Like I think, Clash Brothers is better than Smash Brothers. Yeah. Yeah, it has a couple of advantages. Well, it's got characters from different platforms, right? Yeah, right. Yeah, I mean, you're probably never gonna see Scorpion or Kratos and. Right. Yeah. I mean, you're probably ever going to see Scorpion or Crado's and Smash Bros. Yeah. Or they're definitely not in Godzilla. Yeah. But yeah, I really like

that this is that the characters all kept accurate to their original games, which is some of the things that are some people don't like that about Smash Bros. I think. I don't like it about Smash Bros. For that reason. Yeah. It's like, it's just a bunch of characters that kind of do stuff that look like the ones I like. They don't act like the ones that I like though. I played Smash Bros. like a couple times or Super Smash Bros. like whatever it is. And I just personified the term button,

that's fucking, I just fucking was spasticly grabbing the, and like sometimes doing something and sometimes falling off a cliff. I don't know about it too. Yeah, you remember when me and Maddox had that Smash Brothers fight, right? Yeah, I won. I won.

Yeah, I don't even remember how it turned out. That's cause he wouldn't play it on the show. But it was, it was just a button mashing fest. Yeah, I don't know. So I saw some of these that you just play this game with your friends on some of your streams, is that? Yeah, well, yeah, they're that's a with fans of the game. I house every weekend. I do a online game night with fans. And so we play online. Yeah. And it actually doesn't have native online built in, but we use an app called Parsec and that lets you play any game online

Dude are you worried about getting sued like it's this seems like asking for it. Why not? Because I don't know of any cases of a fan game developer getting sued like there's been cases where people Yeah, it's successful enough So say that again at all. Yeah, there's been cases where people get successful enough. So say that again, Ado. Yeah, there's Nintendo will sometimes send a DMCA and take the game down that way. But I don't know of any case of someone being sued for it. But like, I've actually already, like, they already did a mass, just like auto DMCA on one of the sites that it was hosted on. Yeah.

Where they just like did it like a key term search and just took down a bunch of games, like 500 games. And mine was including that, but I just re uploaded it without the key terms, like without Mario and stuff and in the description. And so I've already survived one DMCA. No shit. Do you have any plans for like what, what are you going to do if you do get sued? It's so fucking cool.

I guess I would hate to see it anywhere. Well, I think being sued is, I mean, I would be the first fan game developer to be sued. So I'm not, I'm not too worried about that. I think the worst case scenario is a season to assist about that. I think the worst case scenario is that it's just taken into system. Yeah. Wait, like DMCA, I'm not too concerned about, but a cease and assist is worse because that's like they're actually directly contacting me and telling me to stop. And if you don't, the next step. Yeah, yeah, then they would see. Yeah, so yeah, and like that would be the first step before spring suit. But yeah, so if they do that, like say if Nintendo's sent a season of cis, I would just remove Nintendo content.

And there's still plenty of other characters I can do without Nintendo characters. And but then I can maybe do something like with mod files, like let the players add Nintendo characters back in themselves or something. Oh, okay. Do you have kids? I have one kid, one two-year-old daughter here.

Oh, she's not in the video there. She's in the video there. I saw that. Yeah, it's funny because I was playing, I loaded up the old Mario Kart with my nephew and he goes, why are the graphics all square? Yeah, and he was disgusted by it. Smack them in the back of the head, I'm not interested in this square shit at all.

Well, yeah, that would suck if they did see into you. Are you getting, I know you have a Patreon, do you have plans to get legal representation for this? I mean, I don't know. Is this, we've had some trademark problems in the past with a copyright, and we've used a copyright lawyer to defend against them. I was really complicated. The whole thing was really complicated. Yeah, I was just going to say, no, I don't have any, like, I'm not planning to do anything

with the lawyers or anything or anything like that. Well, what's the future for this game? Are you gonna go ahead? Yeah, I'm just planning the, well, I'm planning the sister version of the game where I swap all the characters with characters from indie games. Oh, they're all gonna be trans women. That's funny. Yeah. Well, yeah. Sorry, I didn't mean to completely derail the training. That's funny. That's a funny stereotype.

So yeah, I'll get permission to put with whatever any characters I can get. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no trans don't try any characters though. Oh. I think I have that handball player in there. I think they have their own sport. That's better than letting them play with the girls, right? Just have your own fucking sport.

There's no, then it's no. Well, it would, it might take a long time to feel the team. Who gives a shit? Yeah. Are you here to play or to get on TV? I don't know. I'm sorry,, are we very screaming about this earlier? Yeah. I was listening. It was funny. Oh, thank you. What's been the

what's like the development cycle that you've been through with? It's pretty cool that this is your this is something you learned how to program with. Yeah, how long did it take? Yeah. Yeah, how long did it take? Yeah. I sort of like, maybe just a few months of learning programming, just watching lots of tutorial videos. And what I would do, I would watch a tutorial on how to make a platformer. And I would like, take that and use that, just start the base first version of the project. And I'd watch another one and scrap the previous one with the new version.

And I'd keep doing that until I got to tell I was with the version that I was happy with. And then I eventually got to the point where I didn't have to stop. I didn't have to keep watching tutorial videos. And I could just learn enough. Yeah. So yeah, I guess I'm actually I It's somewhat of a

Alright, I guess have the genes for being a programmer also so I How your mind works came to me. Yeah, I mean my brothers are really good programmer too, so I Guess it's in our genes as good as as good as Maddox Yeah, that's a guy that fucks with our show. Oh, okay. I was assume. Yeah I'm trying to find another one. Well, plug your Patreon, because I think I do think it'd be cool if you got some support for this game.

Yeah, that'd be great. It gets patreon.com slash J4S8O. My name there. Do you want me to link it there or something? Yeah, J4S8O. Yeah. I'm kind of obsessed with J4S8O. Do you know what characters link it there or something? Yeah, J4's ATO. Yeah. I got that. I got that.

I got that. You got to, do you know what characters are coming in next? I don't know if I listed all of them, but. Uh, I need to change that cover image there by the way, and then missing a much, but yeah, I'm actually, uh, while I'm working on Michael Jackson right now. Sure. Oh, Michael Jackson. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I thought that was the best moment the trailer. What does he do? Himalayan. Yeah, did you see the end of the trailer there? It's pretty cool. At the end of my trailer. I don't think I saw the end. Yeah, at the end of shows, MJ come in. I see, you should definitely watch that part because he can make all the other characters dance. It's pretty epic. Just like he comes in with a magazine, moon walking with a glass of wine over to a bedroom. When Mario's little, he could molest it.

Yeah. Let me see. That would be funny. Yeah, I was trying to think of some way to, my friend was, uh, I was like, I was like, Yeah. Yeah. Let me see. That would be funny. Yeah, I was trying to think of some way to, my friend was trying to think of something like that to do with the molestation joke, but I don't want to, I don't want this off MJ. No, it's, and it's, I love it so much because it's like, it's perfectly faithful to all the original shit.

Like, nobody got new stuff just to make the game more interesting and to be cute. Everything is exactly like you remember it, all the weapon, and you could be the hammer Mario. That fucking hammer power up, I played the whole game got it once for two seconds. Then I got hit by some cock sucker immediately. Because you only get it at the end of the game where I'm not good enough to be moving around. Get it immediately gone. I think, well, that was fucking fun.

I've been reading the back of the box, jizzing myself stupid over this hammer, brother's power up for a month and a half. I finally get it in two seconds it's gone. This was before the game, Jeannie, shit like that, but you can get, you could be the hammer Mario all the time in this game. That's fucking cool. And supersonic and with all the chaos emeralds all the time. I'm so satisfying. It's so satisfying to see.

And there is a mystery why people are having less sex. Yeah, all right. It's done. Just an all over Nintendo characters. Yeah, yeah, speaking of sex, I don't know how long you were want to talk to me, but I had another trailer for the other game. I mentioned murder minors that you guys would probably like I was wanting to see.

Yeah, let me see. If you don't want to, while you're on the long live, I'm sure you'll have to get out of it. You know, here I'll link it here. You know, you're familiar with Master Chief from Halo and Steve from Minecraft. Yeah, Sean, do you know either of those guys? It's a Halo guy in the Minecraft guy, basically. Yeah, I know those properties. Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, which is like that's our how we build our other game with Halo meets my craft. And everyone. Oh, yeah. So we made this sure I made this trailer. So it's it's a it's adult rated. I know it's

three. It's three minutes something. I'll put it on at the end. Okay. Cool. But I do want to thank you for calling in and making this fucking game, because it's cool. It's gonna be a regular, it'll be a regular drinking game around my house as long as it doesn't get too fucking or as long as Nintendo doesn't fuck it up, right?

But it's very cool. It's also cool. Here that somebody did this in their first time out. Yeah. Well, he found out that he has the, the, his brain works that way. Yeah.

You know, somebody else could have done it. You know, it would probably, odds are it would come out like shit, right? Yeah, because I always hear so many people with so many great ideas. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. great ideas. I've only I knew how to program, ah, you know, be cool if I did this. Like, well, then, you know what, don't tell me about it if you're not going to do it. Well, and there's, I think he just, you know, he gave a good example of, you know, finding legitimate tutorials on YouTube and things like that. Like, there is, because, you know, there is great stuff. If you want to look at the latest version of Pro Tools and what it comes with and how you use some of the new features or whatever,

there are people, for all the bullshit that's on YouTube, there are some people with some serious knowledge. Yeah, true. All right, Ado, you got anything that makes you a rage, you know, yell at anything in your life personally. Top one, top 10. Anyone else in the... Unfortunately, top one, top 10. See, top one, I guess most rage inducing, I guess, I would say, how much shit white people get.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. All right. It's controversial, but I think white people are treated more unfairly than than black people are, which is very. And what was it? Everyone says, what's that?

It's white on white mistreatment. That's the that's what it is, Sean. Well, no, that's true. Yeah, we're doing it to ourselves. Are you guys are doing it to yourselves? Yeah, all this black on black crime is a problem and the white on white shaming. Shaming is a problem.

Is equally, equally if not more important. All right, Addo, get out of here. Thanks for coming there. Thanks for being here. Thank you, buddy. See you. I work with a Mexican guy. And, you know, he was saying that he said, you know what?

He said, it's kind of fucked up because white people are the only people that you're allowed to make fun of. Oh, yeah. You know, he goes, and I think about it like from a different perspective, he's like, that's why should that be? Why should the rule not apply across the board? You know, it's like, it's totally okay to joke about white people. Well, it's more pretending because it's like everybody is fine.

It's making fun of white people publicly. But everyone makes fun of all races privately. We just, for some reason, say you can't do it on TV. Like, well, okay. I guess if we're cancelling Patreon's over it now, then yeah, we're sure shit gonna be not gonna be saying something is recording device. Yeah. This is Emily Vavome with the news Facebook news.

Hey, Jack, I still on. Hey, this. Yeah. He will be coming back though. Yeah, good. Hello, Dick and hello, Dick heads. This is the Facebook group news for the last couple days. Several posts have popped up showing concern for Dick's Patreon now that Sargon has been removed.

Fans fear that it is only a matter of time until Dick has removed himself. There is speculation as to whether he will ever be removed, seeing as Maddox violated the terms of service and still maintains his account. Most agree that Dick makes too much for them to ever get the boot. While others say that no matter what happens, Dick and Sean will be getting their $20 as long as there is a Dick show. Next we have a- It's very frightening. My low made a Patreon, they banned them day one and then went around Twitter bragging about it. Oh yeah, no, no, no, no, he's not welcome. Yeah, for a past association with the proud boys,

which are a bunch of guys who don't masturbate, which is pretty, I mean, you can't go wrong not masturbating if your problem is not wanting to have sex with women. It's a good idea to go on a break sometimes. Yeah, they're not wrong. Yeah. Yeah.

But a bunch of the dumbest people on earth think that it's some kind of a hate group, as preposterous. The FBI came out and said that it's not, they're like, oh, we don't know why everyone said we classified as a hate group, it's not. We didn't do that. we didn't do that. So Milo's gone because of Gavin.

Gennos because he's buddies, which is frightening, because I was buddies with a guy who sued Patreon for half a billion dollars. So what does that mean? I'm pretty sure that's worse than the proud boys. Sargon's gone. Allegedly, Tim pool posted about it and subreddit and said that they banned him because he was on a stream

and he said white N words. Yeah. Called people white N words. Yeah. He said you're acting like white N words, which he was getting made fun of for by everybody for saying it because Sargon was being a dick. He was being a dick with Ralph, the Ralph of Torre. He was being a dick with Medicare.

And they are tremendous dicks. I mean, this isn't, this is not up for debate. I am also huge dick, but Shargon is also a political guy. So it seemed a little weird. You remember when he called in? I told him, stop doing this shit. Yeah. Like, you may not think that you need this support

from these people, but you fucking do. Because this shit will happen to you. It's not like, I think that, especially in this case, people work on a principle of, can we fuck this guy or not? And that's all feelings based. Yeah. Like, monkeys can't count, but they can tell

when there's more of them than there are of you. Like, try little groups of monkeys, the goat chimps or whatever, they'll go out and they can size up your crew versus them and they think they know who's gonna win. They make decisions based on that. People work exactly the same way. It's not any kind of specific violation or anything. They just see weak members.

Can we? Yeah. Anything? Can we fuck this guy? So our gone, all the, he seems to be fucking up and a lot of, like a lot of people seem to be hating on him. Who's gonna stand up for this guy? Same thing happened with Milo.

Right, right, it's Canon and should be, oh, he's got a lot of problems with people. No one's gonna, no one's gonna protect this guy. But it sucks. Yeah, what kind of a... Warmwood. A guy who draw thumbnails for the show got his account banned on the same day. Really?

For nothing. Insighting violent, it was inciting discrimination against, let me read that, let me read the email they sent him because it is, it's, it's very frightening for me because it, well, it doesn't matter if you're violating it or not. We'll just send you something. Yeah. Let me pull it up. Trust and safety. Trust and safety were the ones who told me that I need to cool off before we had to get

the restraining order. So they do not have their finger on the pulse. No, I don't know what's going on. I know, I know. Yeah, yeah. I want to let you know that your creator page has been removed from violating the community guidelines concerning hate speech.

While diverse viewpoints are welcome, there is no room on Patreon for creators who promote sentiments of discrimination based on race, ethnicity, and national origins. That doesn't even make sense. How can you not promote discrimination against national origins? Literally citizenship is discrimination

based on national origins. Yeah, right. You can't get a driver, you can't get Medicaid if you're born in fucking Slovenia. Yeah. It doesn't even make sense. And it's, it's just like magical gibberish words that they never stop saying, discrimination against national origin. Our entire system is based on discrimination against national origin. It's the whole fucking point of having a country.

You idiot. What, what is this in response against national origin. It's the whole fucking point of having a country. You idiot. What is this in response to? Nothing. This was Wormwood, the artist, getting banned from hatred. Well, no, what I mean is. Same day so, Argonne. Do they point to a specific post? No, never.

They just ban you and send you this shit. Your page. No. Your page has no remaining creator balance, so I won't be issuing you a final payout. Our guideline state that creators who violate the hate speech section may be banned from using Patreon. Doesn't he have a right to know, like shouldn't they shouldn't they have to cite specific examples? Well, they don't. God damn. They don't at all. So I spent a half hour, I spent a half hour talking to high-risk credit card processors.

Just trying to get one that would approve everything. Like, look, there's going to be hate speech. What's your rule? Yeah. And he said, well, our rule is that you have to have a, that you should have a, a hate speech license. A hate speech guidelines. You have to tell people that it's not allowed.

I said, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, I just told you, it's going to be there. It's gonna be legal speech. Yeah, and it's definitely going to be there. Protected under the First Amendment. And he said, oh, no, no, you can't do that. Right. We got it, that's a violation.

Yeah, because if it all goes up to visa and mastercard who will do whatever they want, that's right. One of the things the government's supposed to do because it all goes up to Visa and MasterCard who will do whatever they want. That's right. That's right. One of the things the government is supposed to do is run a currency. Since you can't cram cash and do an electrical socket, I think they've completely failed in that regard. That there is no electronic government currency is a clear abandonment of the principles of what a government is for. And the US has totally failed us that they have created a digital currency vis-a-vis

the federal reserve that does not exist and yet completely neglected their responsibility of providing us with a legitimate digital concern currency that we can use without resorting to conglomerates, is an abandonment of their responsibilities as a government. The idea that they stopped at paper to represent gold, because gold is obviously moronic, to expect people to pay with.

And we say, well, they use paper as a convenience and then did not make them continue the tradition of usability of currency into a digital age is fucking retarded. Yeah. They owe us a digital currency. Yeah, you're right. And it would solve all of this.

It would solve all of this. Is it hackable? Who the fuck cares? None of its real. Yeah, man. Man, can they trace it again? Who fucking cares? It's better.

It's better than what we got. And they owe it to us. They owe it to us. I know that's a big libertarian thing that the government's only responsible for like a few key things. And otherwise they should fuck off maintaining a stable currency.

And maintaining a usable currency is a big one. And they're not doing it. Yeah, that's right. Which is why we have to deal with this shit. But there you go. Wormwood's band too. Stargones band, Milo's band. I don't know how we've escaped for this long.

Nobody makes enough money to escape it. We certainly don't. Yeah, yeah. It's a million dollar company. The amount that they make, the amount that they make off of this show, five percent of, it's one employee, it's less than one employee.

Yeah, right. It's maternity leave. That's what they make. They don't give a fuck. They're having ex-boes where they spend a weekend congratulating each other. And telling each other that curing bummed out feelings with a bunch of crummy music. It's the same as can't your amount of, yeah,

curing cancer. I don't know. I don't see. So, but so all that time I spent talking to high risk, what I got out of it is they'll stop you at any time. Yeah. Yeah. Dick and Sean will be getting their $20 as long as there is a dick show. Next, we have a special report from Sam Sportsman. Salutations. I'm Sam Sportsman with a special sports story from TDS Sheriff. The Dix show fantasy football leagues regular season ended Monday night. Most notably Dick Masterson's team, team Masterson. Nearly secured a playoff birth, but due to his lack of management,

lost the last place top-ought to his Thomas McCoy. Dick's lost gave the six seed spot to beloved Facebook moderator Stephen Bailey. And he even more took credit for any participation. Dick Mustard did a constantly badgering dick to just look at his fucking phone. Lee participants noted that this might bring up missing your fantasy football draft in episode 16 of the biggest problem in the universe. Dick Masterson showed up late to this year's draft night. And finally, the current TDS fantasy football league commissioner would like to thank

TDS trap Chelsea for having absolutely no involvement whatsoever with this year's fantasy football league after mismanaging last year's dumpster fire. I believe that she commissioned this is Sam sportsman signing off back to you, Emily. Thank you, Sam. Danny danger set it. I did log in. I did log in and I tried to set it up, but it's not intuitive. No, no. Like for some reason, I never have enough room in my roster to bench people and move people in this. It's very frustrating.

Okay. I did log in, but I guess I fucked it up. Yeah. Like a Tizmus with the whack-a-mole effect of Spurgs popping up in the Facebook group this year. Local couch model Jacob Suresia made the Grove mistake by carrying on in one of Carrie Groves' posts.

She asked the group besides the obvious answer of masturbation, what would you do if you were the opposite sex for a day? Jacob made a pointed response stating, I would learn to pull dance and wear star wear shirts to convince nerds I had a personality. The two began to go at it all the while Jacob brought in others he is feuded with before, making the band too much for him to handle. He then decided to make a new post calling out Carrie Sparks and Justin and then deleted it when the group relentlessly mocked him.

Thankfully, Blas Grinchot the entire thing and reposted it. Carrie was then zucked for 30 days for bullying when she called Jacob a fucking donkey-slaying taco. This has been the Dixia Facebook group news for the last couple days. Doc, what the hell was that? Oh, it was a little. Uh, table playing talking.

There you go. All right. Thank you. Emily for voom. Yeah. Uh, wild times. Something fucking crazy happens in that group every week. Doesn't it?

It's fun. Is it? Yeah, it's a lot of fun. Yeah, it's a little like hanging out in there. Uh, it. It's fun. Is it? Yeah, it's a lot of fun. Yeah, it's a lot of fun. I like hanging out in there. Yeah, this fucking nonstick pan, these nonstick pan making my top smaller. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? I have a 5.5 inch penis. It's always been fine. It's normal. It's whatever. I didn't care until just now. I could have had a great day. I could have been be- Is there some kind of chemical in it or something?

Non-stick pants? Yeah. Anybody know what he's talking about? Sort of. Yeah, I posted about it. Like a toxic chemical in there? The chemical and teflon when it's dumped into the environment. Yeah.

Caused a bunch of guys dicked to shrink. Do we know where that was done? Italy. It was done in Italy. It was some kind of a, it was just a part of manufacturing. Yeah, improperly disposed of. I don't even think that. I think it was fine.

They didn't realize until then, but they weren't clear on whether or not it was a problem in pans, in non-stick pans. They said they stopped using them like five years ago or three years ago and not using that chemical. Yeah, but that doesn't really help because pans kind of last for 20 years. Yeah. And then it also wasn't clear whether the chemicals that are already in the pans will do this. So we're all left with this creeping suspicion that there's something making our dick smaller.

Yeah, which is probably worse than just not knowing. Yeah, because I'm not going to go buy new, and then I guess unless you just go to cast iron, it's the only alternative is to use only cast iron. Yeah. But it's too late anyway because your dick is, it's not, your dick's not gonna get any bigger. It never works out where the news find some freakish way that a small town in Oklahoma had an outburst

of enormously large penises. Right. That it happened because of an industrial, it's just smaller, smaller, smaller. Plastics making your dick smaller, PFCs or whatever, and Teflon making your dick smaller, social media is making your dick smaller, fucking space rays are making your dick,

everything always dick smaller, dick smaller, always a reason why you should be thinking that your dick is too small. It's very annoying. I tried to look, I didn't get to the bottom of it. I think big tits is behind this. I think they are too. Good morning, Dick. Ben Sean. Good morning. This is Professor Dawg. My rage is people who People who can't start a conversation by saying hello. How are you? Sorry people will walk up to you and just say hey, I need you to do this right now. Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa Back up a second here. What's the fucking restaurant?

No, okay, no going off for anywhere like it. That's the first interaction of the day he's talking about That's weird okay excuse me you know you know i wasn't sitting around with my hands on my knees waiting for a task to happen

i got my old plate right here i got two knives and three forks i know what the fuck is going on i got the salad plate over here. I can only hear my plate. I don't need you coming over here with the next course. Well, I'm barely started my anti-pasta. What are you doing coming around with my pasta? See, of course, Jesus fucking great.

Just start a conversation with, excuse me, good evening. I'd even, I would even pick up. Oh, there he goes. And he goes, he got cut off. Somebody needed him to do something. Yeah, pulled right away, right away from his phone. I guess. That's usually the worst part though.

Do you mean that just the pleasantries, the shallow pleasantries? Yeah, like if I get a call, like, hey, how's it going? What do you mean, how's it going? Just say what you want. Tell me what you want. What's the hello gonna do? Do you care, dick? Yeah, what do you mean, how's it going? Just say what you want. Tell me what you want. What's the hello gonna do? What do you care, dick?

Yeah, what do you want to take me out to dinner first? You're gonna butter me up before you need something? Just fucking say it. Yeah. I disagree. All right. I guess we're just so used to it. And it's like if somebody comes up like at the office

and move your car. Okay. Yeah. Hi, how are you? Uh, so what's new with you this holiday season? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you think maybe you've got around to it. You could just move your car. You know, just think because like it's like lumber from office space.

Yeah, and then they got explained to you. Yeah. Why you need to do this? Why they need it? Like, I don't need it. Yeah. You're not going to talk me into it. I mean, why they need it. I don't need it. You're not gonna talk me into it. I mean, they're gonna do it or I'm not.

Save it for the thank you. So I got in trouble at home last night because my daughter, who's in first grade, she had reading to do at home. And I'm listening to her reach me and the book that she's got is as a little, she's got to read this little, this little, I won't call it a story but it's about rules and laws and it talks about how everyone needs rules because they're good. And I said, most of them, and I got a, I got a little

look at from my wife and she said, she, she don't need to talk about that yet. I'm like, okay. But it goes on. It's like all, pretty much saying, all laws are good. And I said, no, not all of them. And so I got in trouble for trying to, I guess red fill my six year old. But it taught me because in the, they had some pictures of a lot of laws on it, had traffic laws. OK, that's reasonable. They had laws for, I don't remember

what the other picture was, reasonable. Last year, I turned a page page it had a kid a child uh... first grade looking all this is a picture of my peer from the child's perspective being wandered over by t.s.a. at a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha right fucking i don't think that six seven-year-old should be well wander over the metal detector

and airport just condition you to give up your well and then i can dynamite under their under their jumper so it made me a rich and

uh... oh yeah understandable and uh... indoctrinating kids yep and really understandable. And that can be kids. Yep. For pro law, pro police state, I guess. Just do what they say. They're the worst fossil.

The most worthless organization. Yeah, they're so fucking worthless. Who corral you around with drug dogs to smell you out. And they don't single file you. Do you remember coming back from Atlanta? They had that gigantic line. It looked like the migrant hoard coming up from South America to get in the fucking terminal

because everybody was reduced down to a single file turn style that went around a perimeter where a drug dog was led through as you were walking around. And I do remember that. Where I had a fistful of vials of THC gel or something that somebody gave me at the show and I was like, well, fuck, I'm not throwing this away, but I don't know if dogs could smell gel. Fuck it. Let's see, let's see if we get, let's see if I get not throwing this away, but I don't know if dogs could smell gel, fuck it.

Let's see if we get, let's see if I get arrested on the way back from a road rage. Driving, okay, not food and drug, the minister, those are laws you could get behind. Don't put poison in food. Yeah. TSA, fuck the TSA. You think we're ever going to be rid of them? No, I don't. Things usually

don't, you know, go back to a smaller or more conservative. I think no, I don't think so. I can't think of a organization that was undone. Yeah. Ever. I think they're here to stay. Is there, I remember, I think somebody sent in in a bunch of acceptable children's books that were devoid of such indoctrination. What's like three books long? Yeah, but they're always, the conservative stuff is always a little weird. Yeah. I don't remember those specifically, but it's always a little bit too much for dad, not enough

for the kids. Mm-hmm, you know? Oh, okay. Yeah. A little too much. You gotta get a shrek balance. You gotta get the more attention to the kids, less for dad.

Yeah. You know, we don't need a talking gun mascot, for example. Like keep it under control. Yeah, yeah, sure. Like my thing, who's Jesus? I was lich. Yeah, it's too much. Too much.

It's a character like Mickey. Yeah, adults have to deal with lessons of life. Right. Is that palatable for a six year old? Uncle, what's Jesus? Character. Like goofy or Donald Duck or Blaze, the monster truck. Like he's always trying to do the right thing. That's what Jesus did. It's off from cars. No, it's called Blaze. I know. Monster truck. It's kids are... What was that a kid's show? Yeah. It's like writer from Paw Patrol. I don't know Paw Patrol. I mean, I know Paw Patrol., it's kids are out. I was at a kid show. Yeah. It's like writer from Paw Patrol.

I don't know Paw Patrol. I mean, I know of Paw Patrol, but yeah. That's what, who's Jesus? He's like, he's like Marshall from Paw Patrol. Okay. So he's trying, or he would be the German Shepherd from Paw Patrol. So he's always trying to do the right thing,

help people out, friends with the whore. Oh, it's too far. Oh, yeah. It's too far. Yeah. Hey, Dick with a whore. Oh, it's too far. Oh, yeah. It's too far. Yeah. Hey, Dick, this is Orion. This is what makes me erase this week. pregnant Netflix cravings. All through pregnancy, all my wife wanted to do just shitty Netflix, all the fucking time. Now I start talking to other guys there have their pregnant wives all day want to shitty that looks all the time

that's a nice owing maybe once a and want something good on that looks but no all her shitty shows all the all that dot her stuff all the dumb documentary that nobody wants to watch but apparently owing

she's pregnant that have everything her way that's what the apparently the new binge eating pregnancy. More people I talk to about it. Yeah, they're all experiencing the same damn thing. So yeah, that's just common deer and that way. Did you and piss off then and make them suffer through pregnancy more than just the regular midnight food run before

Netflix. But I don't know. It's because they can't drink now. That's why men during pregnancy. Pregnancy really fucks women over because they can't drink. Yeah, yeah. No, you're right. You need some other form of like escapism or you can't take people anymore.

I can't pass the time after 5 p.m. What do you what the hell are you supposed to do? Just sit there and stare at their stomach. Yeah. Man, that fucking that letter that Maddox wrote, an email he wrote that is actually fucking hit a rough spot for me. I had to pause the podcast for a bit. Yeah, it's a change of the piss out of your pants. I went by your old apartment and you wouldn't let me in. He didn't say old. Every time someone is told me like every time time I've gotten an argument with people about guns, and they'll ask me, like, well, why do you need a gun?

Why do you really just not, you can just tell the cops or something like that. And then I heard, I went by your old apartment and you wouldn't let me in. Like, you guys, this is why you need to be able to protect yourself. Because exes are psychotic. Guys like Maddox exist in this world. And thank God he never did anything physical to a needy's girl because of like, that's the kind of nightmare scenario. Your ex comes by your house for your apartment, unannounced,

and your scaredest bug. And you need to be able to protect yourself. Every fucking time, I can't, it's hard to tell people that kind of, or put people in that kind of situation until they've been in that scenario, and by then it's like too late. Fucking, I don't know. Yeah, fuck Maddox. I was a funny episode. Randy really enjoyed it.

Yeah, yeah. He'd listen to it. He thought that was his favorite. Really? Anyone, the most recent. Of all the bonuses, yeah. It's a good one. It's a good one.

It's true. I don't know how people reconcile the gun debate with the violent toxic men to pay. Oh, nice. Yeah, I see. I see. Yeah, you're all at risk. I know. Yeah. I know that you are. I have a dick. I know how they work. Yep. Got a gun too. Same reason. Hey, dick Sean. Hey, out of who we're also the fucking studio. Um, Max. Well, I was over hammer calling. I don't know. Oh, good. I just want to clarify some stuff. Okay.

That fucking training that called in last minute, that was like, we have the same name as me and, uh, some reason people think that the fucking not uh... stop agganian shit that's the due training that i don't fucking care uh... alright just fucking annoying like what do you get it like or just not fucking mention it out.

Where were the chuckle fuck in the audience who has been using my email and signing me up for like weekly Jewish emails? Please fucking stop. I'm not even fucking Jewish. So... He's not? Nice job, genius. Why am? I don't know.

That's about it. All right. Just using this as a sound. He's one of the broadcasting for the trans Max. Well, did call in or Maxine. I guess she left another voice now. I'll play out here. Okay. Hey, Jack. This is Max. I called him Max. He's a great listener. Yeah. And a rage about preferred names. And you know, as they're hearing it, I realize that I tried to sort of like a bitch. So I kind of wanted to clarify a little bit. It wasn't a matter of, I feel entitled to people calling me by what I prefer to be called by it. It's a respecting thing.

And I feel like if people don't have the respect to call you, what makes you comfortable, it's a way of them saying that they don't respect you. Yeah. Which is also what makes me rich today. I'm not going to be too many makers. I'm getting over a throw-in faction anyway. People have no fucking respect for anyone. Usually not even their friends. People just give and they give one and then they take and take and take. And so eventually you say no. And they say, well, fuck you too.

Then see you never. And they're just out of your life. As soon as your usefulness is up for people, they just, they give you the bait. And people, they just, they give you the bait. And people, people just suck. And I don't know, I can brand about this forever. So anyway, go find yourself. Not getting no respect. Yeah. Is that the new Rodney Dangerfield came back? Would he be trans? I tell you, we have no respect out there.

Is it so much? I would have been called Rodina. Rodina. I don't. To me, like I, I, I will call someone just whatever they want because it's, to me, it's not a big ask. I go home for Christmas. My dad says, rotting.

I'm not going to call you, I'm not going to call you Maxine. And I say, why? You and mom having had sex in 10 years and we still call you married. Oh, I don't know why tigers eat the young. I'm trying to come up with another Rodney danger field trans joke. Yeah, I don't think he had that in his repertoire. Well, that's the point. Yeah. If this was, this is a new reboot of Rodney Dangerfield who only talks about respect vis-a-vis his sexual identity,

his sex gender identity. I tell you, a lot of my trans allies, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, I tell you, a lot of my friends allies. He. You know, they don't make it through high school. Yeah, yeah, no, it's rough. It's rough. No, that's not one.

Oh, God. It's not easy being brilliant on a moment's notice. No. I used to know so many Ronnie Dangerfield jokes. No, this is one way. Right, yeah, but you know, by my mother, she refused to breastfeed me. moments notice. No. I used to know so many Ronnie Dangerfield jokes. I got it. My mother she refused to breastfeed me. Tell me she'd like me as a friend. It was never lucky in love. Well, the time I was 20 I had sex once and VD twice. Yeah. Oh, being trained is hard. It's hard. Let me tell you something. It's hard. I cut my penis off and I go to my,

I won't go back to my wife. Hey, I identify as a woman now. And she said, uh, uh, uh, ah, now that's not really funny. I just the weirdest into a show we've ever done. Yeah, I'm kind of down. Well, the doctor, getting my penis removed. She said, how could you tell?

That's the punchline, right? Why go to work? And they keep, they keep, I wanted to go out for the handball team. Yeah, everybody thinks, keep saying I'm a man and she said, well, how could they tell? That's a, that's a right.

And he didn't do a big, a chance, joke. Yeah, all right. That's a, that's a Rodney Degin field chance, shog. Yeah, all right. That's a good one. You know, that's actually the main reason I joined the Navy and not like the Royal Army. The piss mom down off. You know, like you were for you to just test shit. I was like a girl in a black guy. I just like cool stuff like just military. I hope if we know, get banned from page ran as something you said.

And like how big is the talent? How big is it? All right. Allegedly. Well, I don't even remember. I never got the right. I didn't care. I was a fucking annoying.

I don't care. Maybe it's not a dream. I'm just a six grade dad. I don't care to care. Maybe it's like a non-branded. It's something like a six grade dad. I don't care. Nobody cares. I have actual tests. What things I actually need to remember that are state mandated. If I don't, they're going to hold me back.

Both making me remember, how many people are a fucking battalion? Oh, you get a military dead. You can push out. I'll show you. I'll show you. I'm going to his brand, going Navy. I think you son of a bitch.

That would be more fun. He joined the Marine and he'd become like a comment army. You've heard me call the Navy Day for 30 years. Yeah. You're not dick will never have an opportunity to shoot an automatic grenade launcher. Never. Some guy who's getting paid the equivalent of $11 an hour.

He gets to, that's his job, slaring up $40,000 with an ammo every day. Yeah, it pisses me off a lot, that I don't get that opportunity. Yeah, I'm just thinking about Rodney Dangerfield jokes. Yeah, I can't go on. I'm glad everybody's seen next week. See you later.

Hold on, let me look some, I need to do that, that's Rodney. I just want to do the voice. I tell you. Yeah. Oh, I go into the duct, and I say, that's Rodney. I'm gonna do the voice. I tell you. Yeah. Oh, so I go into the doctor and I say, there's a duck, I'd like to get a sex change. And he goes, you mean you want to be a man?

I get no, yeah. Yeah, all right. It's a duck, what are you talking about? I am a man and he goes, I'm the doctor here. Okay? This is good, this is good. There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is good. You're getting there. Yeah. This is good. This is good. You're getting there. Yeah, this is good. You're getting there.