The Dick Show - Episode 141 - Dick on Learning to Code

Episode Date: February 12, 2019

Not enough chip clips, bad times at a monster truck rally, I launch my Patreon alternative, Mumkey Jones talks about concern trolls and Alex Jones, Wilt Chamberlain is the first winner of the Virgin Contest, another Dickhead spends $1,000 on his girlfriend for Valentine's Day and how not to do that, a gay relationship query, Asterios is at the Tennessee Dickhead film festival, science kills, a Dickhead gets fired for spicy Tweets, and Saudi Arabia in Silicon Valley; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

People are telling me that it will grow you tits. What, IPA? Yeah. Are hops somehow like, is it like soy? I don't know. Yes. Just from getting, just from extra calories. Not the extra calories.

They're saying in addition to the IPA, the IPA will grow you tits. And other beer won't or just because it doesn't, it's not as, it must be the hops, right? They don't specify. Well, then that sounds like something that I would ask follow-up questions. All they want to do is freak you out. Who am I going to ask the follow-up question, too?

The guy that sent me the link, A.Y. The guy who grew the tits. Yeah. You find like, how much IPA did you drink? How big are your tits? Let me see him. If there was a guy who grew tits because of an IPA, there would be pictures. Okay. Yeah.

That's not something that just slides under the radar. No, but that seems like there's a lot of variables there. I don't even know how you would, how you could actually, no, it's a guy. Really test that. Because that would denote, that statement would denote a change. Like he didn't have tits and now he has tits and now he has tits. So I'm guessing it's a guy, not a woman.

Puberty man. That's what happens. Mm. You know, tits. You don't have tits and then you do have tits. Puberty is whenever you have your first IPA. Yeah, right. Men anyway.

Yeah, you could be like, you know, 47 and all of a sudden, you have first IPA and you're like, oh, today I'm a man. Would that be weird if you were a chick? Like you're a kid and then all of a sudden you have first IPA and you're like, oh, today I'm a man. Would that be weird if you were a chick? Like you're a kid and then all of a sudden you have tits flopping around. Wouldn't that be weird? But they don't have them flat-chested to like, D's overnight. So it's still weird. It's not like big.

So not like that moving. Kind of. Like it's growing completely out of control. Your tits. Yeah, but you know, brains are all scrambled up. Yeah, you get a little time to adjust. I mean, not enough. No, I have the same guys have the same,

pretty much the same body. Just fatter. That's not nature's doing though. Oh, you mean as it is. You mean pretty much the same body as when they were younger? Yeah. You don't have like,

like, protuberance is sticking out somewhere, like a tail. No, that's true. Like a dick growing out of your nose. Just be weird. Yeah. That's all I'm saying. That's true.

It would be odd. All right. Let's start the show. For more of these observations. Alright. Let's start the show. For more of these observations. Yeah. It is a bit weird. Thank you, Rajveer. Yeah, it's true. It's weird. Hey, it's routes here. The Ralph O'Mail is here. Alright, I gotta start the show. I gotta start the show. I gotta start the show. I'm on the show. I'm on the show. I'm on the show. I'm on the show. It's just gonna be a big fantastic show today,

when Paul is here. Yeah! Hey, welcome to day. You want diggin' diggin' diggin' diggin' you got it. It's a show! Everything is a contest. Coming to you live from a mountain bunker deep in the heart of the city of failure.

I'm your host, Dick Mancherson. Okay, the $20 million man voted America's best Mexican, 21 weeks running, 21. I think it's 22. Bainty Dose. That's 22. Bainty Dose, Semanas, Pazados. I don't know. No, no, no, say, econmigo's the embrace, L.A. based comedian, Sean the audio engineer. Ola Diq.

What's up, buddy? How you doing? Good. Yeah, yeah. I think so. You have a good time at the zoo. Yeah, so the zoo this morning. Saw the family.

Yeah. There he is. L.A. based comedian. It was yesterday. Audio engineer. Yesterday. Zing. Yeah. Oh man. That's what I'm known for. What a profession. What a profession of choice. What a week. LA based comedian. comedian. Sean the audio engineer. Yeah. He's a real edgy comedian. So he had GLA based comedian. He knew what he was doing and should have known better. You heard of Sam Hyde, Sean, the engineer is saying I'm like, I'm high times six million.

Get it? Yeah. I get it. Oh man, what a week. What a week, I've had my hands, I've had my hands wrist deep in code all week. Yeah. Yeah, for this new Patreon clone.

Cool. I've done it. I've done it. It's up and running. I'm gonna take a victory lap. I've done it. Good. I said Peterson and Ruben wouldn't be able to do it.

Lo and behold, who's proven right. Those fucking thought leaders and performers are still taking PayPal on their websites. Yeah. Haven't done jack shit. Caused a big mess. Came in and kicked all, kicked all the action figures down. And who's got to pick them up and sort them all out and set up something for all the refugees

of all the band, all the departed to go to me, the deported. Without engineers, lawyers and moms, no one would ever clean up anyone's mess. It's true. That's what I'm, that's the ever clean up anyone's mess. That's true. That's the lesson. That's this lesson. They start talking a big talk, these thinkers and thought leaders, but they thought themselves into a dozen speaking gigs into inactivity.

Yeah, without dropping one line of code, because they don't have the ability to see what is a code and what's not a code. Too much thinking, not enough doing, not enough drinking. I drink my way right through this system. Drinking in between. Hey, Trion clone, it's open. Yeah, we got, the clones up to a thousand bucks

just for the Dix show. That's great. Yeah. That's great. Don't tell, if you're on it, don't tell anybody. It's very secret. Very secret. I'm not telling anybody yet because I got to test it. I got to roll it out slowly.

But for the new people, the new people, it's been very fun. I'll tell you, it's been fun. Probably reminds you of, I mean, you used to do all this. Just to do this kind of stuff. You're like, fuck, man, I still got it. I feel like, I feel like Shane, the gunslinger. Yeah. Hey, we're having a big problem with Patreon in town.

Oh, boss Patreon's coming in and waving his social justice penis in everyone's face. You got to come in and lay him out. I'm saying, all right. I guess I could do this. Just one for you guys. This Christmas time, this Christmas season, I could come out of retirement to set this one up for you boys.

Josh is on it. Kiwi farms is on it. It's working. Cool. It's working. That's what it's for. boys. Josh is on it. Kiwi Farms is on it. It's working. Cool. It's working. That's what it's for. That's what it's for. If you have a problem with, I don't know, maybe this is too much into the inside baseball

for people, but it's very interesting to me because I get a real first hand inside look at how payment processing works, how these giant VC firms and Silicon Valley work, how the industry works as a whole, which I think is information that's, all information is good in this regard. So we're going to get a real up and close look at the problem. And one thing I do want to stress is that the system is stronger, the more people who are running through it. So if you're one of, if you're one of the big guys who has suffered because people don't want to support Patreon and they're right to do so, I hate Patreon, but they just know they pretty much they've had you by the balls this whole day.

They've had us by because they lured us in, praying on this idea that people aren't going to do things that are contrary to the point of their business. I buy a car. I never expect that somebody's gonna, that a representative from Ford is gonna knock on my door one day and said, hey, we heard that you were using your on-star system. We heard that you were yelling at your wife. Yeah. You got a, we're taking the car. Like, what the hell is this? What?

No, but these, these beliefs are stronger than they really would rather have their agenda than profit and a lot of cases. And I think reading between the lines, at first of all, most CEOs are terrible. Their job is to fire people. Yeah. You're fire. You cut, cut, cut, fire, fire, fire until the company makes money because most people that are working at every company and Silicon Valley is 10 times more guilty of this

because of the glut of money that's rained down upon them. Most people working at a company are completely worthless. They're just showing up every day to keep a seat warm. Maybe there, maybe like a couple hours of the week, they provided some value that a computer or a terminal or a sign stuck in a pot could have done next to a palm tree, but ordinarily everybody's worthless at a job. You find wherever you work, I guarantee you,

you can look around and point at half the people you say, if you see fired, fired, fired, worthless, worthless, worthless, worthless, worthless, worthless, where causes problems in fact, that idiot causes problems. Yeah. Bosses job to get in there, fired, fired, fired, that's why everyone lives Trump so much. This slogan, you're fired. You associate that with being a good businessman, you're fired.

I think the Patreon CEO probably got hooked big time by venture capitalists into providing, into promising geometric growth on a platform that is not built for it. Because it only exists because of YouTube ad-pocalypse because all the free ad money that came, this is like I'm saying is two insider baseball. If you want, if you want to sign up, if you are a creator, and you want to sign up, I've got a lot of interested parties already.

Go to new project, too. A lot of big people come on. Big people coming on. Best people are talking. Not the best people, the worst. The worst of the worst. Well, but that's the way it goes. But by worst, we mean the best.

The best to me. The best of the worst. The people that I like to see. Yeah. Who are banned from everywhere else for no reason. Mm-hmm. So the Sargons who are looking for platforms where the TOS is, you can't insult someone because of their age, come on over to me.

And I will keep you on until the bank or the law makes me kick you off. Mm-hmm. And I will take for this service zero percent. Zero. Because for you, it's fun. It is fun. I know. You can't beat zero. No, you just can't beat someone who does all of this shit for fun. Because it's funny Yeah, yeah, because that is a not a well-balanced individual. Yeah, definitely just does not seem with that person. No, you cannot reason with a person who does it for free. Motivation can't other than money. Some go there, some not. Go there, sign up, comment skate. I got Nick. I got Nikki Rackets on there. I got Stone Toss. I got

wormwood, a couple other people right now. Aiden Pall, a couple of people have been messaging me about to try to get as many as many creators as possible because the bigger the account is, the harder it is to shut off. Yeah. And you know, they do shut accounts off. Banks are doing that now.

Well, they'd have to give me a free house, I guess. We're not along, we're doing business to you. Oh, cool. Does that mean the market just? Maybe that's just wiped out or? Yeah, yeah, you got it. It's a two-way street. I mean, that's okay. Take the good with the bed, you guys. You guys at the bank. You showed me. Monkey Jones is calling in today. Dubsack, remember that guy that called in and screamed about a scream about somebody contacting his ex-girlfriend on the Facebook group? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He, apparently he's taking credit

for getting the Facebook group shut down because he had like four alternate accounts and he was posting and saying it was spam. I don't know, there's a lot of people coming out of the room. You said it's like Al Cato or ISIS, like when something, when you get banned from something, you tell like 10 people take credit. So who the fuck is it?

When anything bad happens to me, a lot of people line up to take credit. Yeah, it's a team work. It's a team work. We all did it. We got him guys. So he's pissed. He hates the Facebook group.

He listens to the show, but he hates the Facebook group. I don't know, I guess. I don't know, but I want the four of them, whoever called in last week to just call for 10 minutes every show. Oh, you liked that? Oh, I thought there was hilarious. I liked that too.

Because I'm never gonna go to the Facebook group. No, good. Or Reddit. Or, you know, but I mean, or Twitter. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm just not gonna do,

matter of fact, I'm getting rid of my computer. Oh, altogether. How are you gonna communicate? I'm just not gonna do, matter of fact, I'm getting rid of my computer. Oh, all together. How are you gonna communicate? I'm just not gonna do work. I'm not gonna do the old style. I'm gonna use other people's computers. Okay, I'm gonna go to the place of business and use their computers.

I gotta say hi to the dickhead. I don't get rid of their computers. I don't get rid of their computers. All the dickheads in Tennessee right now are watching the show. I think it's Tennessee Tanner. I think Asterearios is there. So all you guys watching, there's probably,

I think there's like a dozen or two dozen of these guys in a cabin, high boxing at Tanner's in heaven, just rolling around on everybody. Oh Jesus. What's up everybody who's at the dickhead film festival? Bully Astarios into calling in, if you can, if you're watching Bully him into calling in, because I'd like to talk to him in a while and I'm

I'm gonna trust him. bully him into calling in and explaining why he doesn't want to have to bring out the puppet. Yeah, we don't want to have to bring out a posture for us. All right. Well, puppet. Yeah, he's waiting, though. He's, he's answering.

Let me see what I want to talk about this week. I went to that monster truck show. Oh, yeah, how was that? You know what I was, I was pissed. Why? Because they didn't squish any cars. What? They turned it into like a sport,

just like racing and jumping over cars and stuff, right? Yeah, but there was just, Mount Hills. It was just cars anymore? No, they had two token smushed cars that already looked smushed and were painted yellow, were like course markers. I was expecting, I was expecting like evil, can evil level jumps over, over a junkyard of cars, like hundreds of cars. Well, did any of the trucks flip over? Yeah. Two of them.

It looked like they did it on purpose because the truck flipped over and then like had a miscarriage, like shot a bunch of shit out of it's where the vagina of the truck would be. So then I thought it was planned. The truck flipping and flipped on its side and then it shot a bunch of fireworks out the bottom.

But the point is there was no, there was no avalanche of cars like smashing on, I mean, I was going in bargaining with myself and trying not to be disappointed that there wasn't a truck of tourists or some kind of a dinosaur, a tomatown that consumed cars. You know, things evolve over time. A lot of things just naturally evolve. The longer somebody's, yeah, done time a time that consumed cars. You know, things evolve over time. A lot of, you know, things just naturally evolve. The longer somebody's, yeah, done things. What do you mean? Well, I think that the average monster truck fan

has probably become much more sophisticated than they were back in the day when something as simplistic as just driving over cars, you know, was good enough to arouse their, you know, Sean, there was two chicks doing the entire announcing. Yeah. Two, like 25-year-old chicks. I mean, I brought earplugs because the volume of the trucks, I thought, would damage

my hearing. Well, they could be, but when those chicks started dancing around the house and around the house, they did you each other. I'm like, oh God, give me more earplugs. How many can I cram into my? No, there was no guy Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. You paid for the whole seat, but you'll only need the aid. Well, you know, I want it. But Dick, that's, that's the guy on TV who gets you to go to the event. There's

not a guy voicing that during the event. Should he be there telling you to buy more shit? My dogs hot, hot dogs. You'll only like the tip, but you buy the whole thing. That's what I missed out on this. They took all the Americana out of the monster truck events. No gratuitous waste of cars. Trucks with vaginas.

Yeah. They might as well have slapped big old fleshlides in the tailpipe of the monster trucks. That's how, the more I watched it, I felt like I was watching medieval times. Just wait a minute, this isn't even a real competition. Was Bigfoot there? No. It was Gravedigger there.

Gravedigger was there. Oh, well, there you go. I mean, it's like, it's in the Beatles. Bigfoot wasn't there. It's seeing the Beatles. That's, you know. Yeah, that was cool. It was cool, because he came out like it.

What's it like his grandson driving it now? I don't know. I don't know. He came, he was cool. He came out and his car had laser beams and shit, but man, laser beams. Yeah, like, boom, boom, boom, boom. Out the front of the day, he had a Gatlin gun.

Well, and it helped, like I said, sophisticated. Of course, it just made me more pissed at boomers for having this experience and then sterilizing it for our consumption. Sean, two chicken answers. Are you fucking kidding me? Both of them gotta be a chick. Not even like, not even like Regis and Kelly,

like one old guy who's on a leash and then want two chicks, two chicks. Oh, what are you selling, Seattleis? You need two chicks up here. What's the most important question is how expensive and how good were the beers? I don't know. I'm eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, Canaheim, huh? Was it, like, where was it? What venue was it at? Angel Stadium. Oh, gotcha. And they just had like a mountain, like a hill.

A mound of dirt, in the middle. And a couple cars. I was pissed about that. Okay. Here's what makes me rage this week. I, this is the best one too. Okay. This is the biggest problem in the universe.

Okay. You like that one? Yeah. You guys can laugh. I know you can laugh. I know we're not funny. I see people trying to stifle laughing over and over and over and over and over.

Like, everyone who comes in the studio, always thinks they have to be quiet. They have to be quiet. We've got like a guy on the phone screaming about chopping tits off in a muppet. Right. You don't have to be, it's not that kind of a, this is an symphony.

Right. It don't have to be. It's not that kind of a, this is an symphony. Right. It seems like one. Not enough chip clips. Yeah. I made a decision this week. A conscious decision. I bought two dozen chip clips from Amazon.

I've been going around like Johnny Chip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Cl Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Cl Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Cl Clip Clip Cl Clip Cl Clip Cl Clip Cl Clip Cl Clip Clip Cl Cl Cl Clip Clip Clip Cl Cl Clip Clip Cl Clip Clip Clip Clip Clip Cl Cl Clip Cl Clip Cl Cl Cl Cl Clip Clip Cl Cl Cl Cl Cl Cl Cl Cl Clip Cl like Johnny Chip Clip Clipal Seed. To people's house. Johnny, not Johnny Apple Seed. The American folklore hero that goes around planting apple trees, Johnny Apple Seed, I'm Johnny Chip Clipal Seed. I'm just going around. Every time I go to people's house now, I grab a fistful, I got an inexhaustible barrel of chip clips in my house now, like peanuts at a seafood,

like at a seafood on the pier restaurant. I dip in, grab a handful of chip clips, and then I'm out the door, like a salesman handing out to- Dropping them off. You know what, I'm gonna get special dick show branded chip clips, chip clips. Pretty good. And I'm gonna drop them off everywhere

I go because I'm so tired of dealing with the tangle and cluster fuck gang bang that is the one every Everybody in their pantry right now has one chip clip around six bags of half empty chips true It's no way to live. No, I was drunk getting chips out of the chip clip. Thanks boomers. Yeah Why is why is this a precious commodity? Yeah, the chip clip that everybody has one and bundles everything in their house Around one cramming it in piece by piece so it's so infinitesimally small You've got what looks like a roll of decks of potato chips squeezed into one, and that no one knows where it came from.

I've run out of them and used guitar capos. Oh, it's disgusting. You know what, I'm setting you up with a big handful before you leave today. Thanks. It's a dramatic change in your life. Even my own parents who have their shit together, I go up to their house

two bags of popcorn sharing one ship clip I say this is on this is unholy why are two bags of popcorn open are the different flavors because my mom fucks everybody over with low sodium low fat Everything she gets duped every fucking time she goes to the store, she gets duped into buying the deal so they distract women. They put all the crappy food that nobody wants because it's got no sodium or fatter anything. They put it on sale and those chicks can't help. They just scoop it out like it's their kids. Just scoop it out like it's their baby. So every time. So she comes home with so she comes home with these parallel to draw like well they're so eager to grab it. Oh, I gotta get this out of there. All right. So my mom always sticks us over with low sodium, low fat and then just like like any pusher,

she makes you try one just so you're convinced that a snack food with all of the flavor removed from it is in fact disgusting and not feeding. Yeah, but you're not swayed. No, because there's a full bag. It goes crammed against the other one with a chip clip. I'm going to start this meme. You could tell a lot about a man depending on his chip clip situation. If you open up his pantry and the guy's got three bags of chips crammed into one, that's my Jordan Peterson book. Fuck cleaning your room, get your chip clip situation organized. One clip per bag. Not, well, that's correct. Four bags. What is, you know, you got to worry about what's going on in your pantry before the rest of your life. How does it, does that make sense?

Yeah, well, you gotta fix what's inside the home before you can go out and benefit society. Right. Right. You wanna talk to me about a green new deal? How many, go in your pantry, take a picture of your bags of chips, and let me see how many chip clips you have on those bags, because if it's one on three, save it. Now, I'm not interested.

You get that situated before you start talking to me about climate change. Okay, okay. It seems a perfect parallel. Johnny Chip Clip Seed. That's my new name. That'll be a, I'm gonna be on Twitter as that now. Really rolls right off the tongue.

Yeah, good luck with your, I think your, you're running out of names. Chip Clip Seed. Chip Clip Seed. That's my new name. That'll be a I'm gonna be on Twitter is that now really rolls right off the tongue You're running out of name I know I'm a Latina now on Twitter a Latina. Yeah, I'm against dick now. I'm against dick Perfect. I'm a let Latina X not Latina or Latina Latina X Because I don't want to even in joke. I don't say I'm abroad, you knowina, Latina X? Cause I don't wanna, even in joke, I don't wanna say I'm a broad, you know. Okay. Latina X. Right. Resist, not my president, pronouns, me, mine. Could you spend Latina with like an EAU?

Latina, like a foe? Yeah, I don't know, or, well that's EAU X, but you could be, it could be EAU X. It could be EAU X. Being the EAUs. Yeah. Yeah. Latina French Latina.

Yeah, I don't know. We're playing magic magic the gathering. We're doing a draft. Fun. Yeah, March second. It is fun. March second to eight, eight PM. Oh, are we going to do it here in LA? Yeah, yeah. I'll show up. I'm not playing magic. That's fine. No one wanted you to play last time, but you shoved your way in

and made Eric explain the things to you. Bullshit. I think the guy, uh, yeah, I think the guy I was playing with was like, this was a mistake. He was like, yeah, okay, you got to basically, it's like a guy, it's like a, it's like climbing a mountain, but like the, you know, the, the more the experience climber has to put your foot in every hold. Okay, like that's your good foothold for that. That's a good foothold. Okay, there's your, like, I felt bad for people playing with you. It's like, who wants to play with somebody

who has no experience at something? Well, one guy played with me, and then I was like, you know, I'm mercifully, you know, bowed out. I wanted to save him the, the aggravation of trying to go through another game. Do you want to talk about that, that green, that new green deal thing?

I haven't read up on it. Oh really? Not really. It's quite a gas. Let me read you some of the quotes. See what you think about them. The green new deal, I think it's great. I love AFC.

I've always said that. It's economic security for people who are unable or unwilling to work. Okay. Well, all right. Well, that's, I mean, Son, those are two, those are distinctly two different types of people for the most part.

I mean, they're not, what do you mean? Why? They're not mutually exclusive by any means, but, let me see, yeah, economic security and they're not mutually exclusive by any means, but. Let me see, yeah, economic security for all who are unable or unwilling. I mean, one seems like a little bit more of a choice than the other. I can't wait for this.

I would guess. We're so unwilling to work that he like paralyzes himself. You know, I wish in her, how are we gonna do this section? Cause it's in there. I wish you would have just said, oh yeah, we're all just giving guys hand jobs all day, every day, and we'll never stop.

Yeah. Oh, okay. That makes sense. Cause that's the only way this plan is gonna work. I mean, it's pretty much like most campaign promises, isn't it? I guess. I guess, that's pretty much like most campaign promises, isn't it? I guess. I guess, that's why I love her.

Is this just pure fantasy? High speed trains. We gotta have high speed trains. Why? Do you take the train currently? Do you take any number of public transportation available to you? No. Do you take any number of public transportation available to you? No Where where do you want this mr. Hot shot?

Jettin around I'm jetting around the eastern seaboard every weekend. I need a train that goes from Hawaii to Istanbul. I need a global train network. Are you fucking kidding me man? Get Elon on that you probably go to the same three websites every day. What do you need a train? High speed train for. What is this? This is a bill? Yeah, this is a bill. This is politics. So it's creating a,

like a safety net or something for those, or just what, what's it doing? Is it's funding people it's it's a ten year plan to mobilize every aspect of American society at a scale not seen since World War Two to achieve net zero greenhouse gas emissions uh what does it have to do with people unwilling or unable to work because it Because the plan has everything in it. It's literally everything. Build out high speed rail at a scale

where air travel stops become, air travel stops becoming necessary. This is, stop becoming necessary. Sean, it says the airplane was invented as a necessary evil. That's what they're getting from this. Uninvent some of the greatest things, something that for 10,000 years human beings would have looked up in the sky and said, God damn, that's a miracle. We're eliminating the necessary evil of that.

What in the fuck? Can't even wrap my head around it. Well, we gotta get rid of that. Oh, well, the good news is, what is it? That will never happen. I mean, this is, like you said, it promises everything,

so it's going to deliver nothing. You're like, oh, wow, I've heard of idealism, but this is at another level. Upgrade. Maybe I'll let Monkey in here, but this is at another level. Upgrade. Maybe I'll let Monkey in here, man. Maybe Mumpy has come to say about this. He probably does. All right, Mumpy, Mumpy Jones.

We're going over the green new deal. Yeah, that whole thing about economic security for those unwilling to work. Don't we already have that? Isn't that what a Patreon is for? Yeah, buzzing. So parents are for. Yeah, that's right.

Unwilling to work. So you've got to get assigned note from your mom that says that you are really unwilling to work. What did the, what did the chicks, what did they bring in junior high? You remember all the chicks who refused to run the mile? It had to bring some kind of note and give it to the gym teacher whose shorts were always way too short and tight.

Yeah. What did that, whatever did they say? Those are memories. Yeah. Unwilling to run the mile. Did you ever have a hot female PE teacher? No. I mean, either.

I can remember one, she would run the mile with us. Yeah. And I just, I'll never forget this image. She was running ahead of me. And I just remember her just like, hawking a lugie like off to the side. And I was like, that's like the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. The battle act, yeah.

I mean, she wasn't like that big, but I was just like, God, you like here? Like that's okay. Yeah, you're real, you're a tanker. Yeah, they're spitting, hawk, and lugins. It wasn't a fitness during school. It was not becoming build out, let's see, ensure that all jobs are union jobs and that pay,

well, that's kind of in the weeds. Uh, oh yeah, here it was. This is like, this is everything, right? You're Well, that's kind of in the weeds. Uh-oh, yeah, here it was. This is like, this is everything. Right, you're right. It's everything. I want to be a percentage. I have to read about this. The world.

The world. It was a PDF. They put up a Green New Deal FAQ. This is the greatest. It's the funniest thing you will ever read because you know that so many people think it's possible. This is the Green Party, right? I mean, like, no, this is the Democratic Party. This is AOS Alexandria, Ocasia Cortez's possible. This is the green party. No, this is the Democratic party. This is aos Alexandria

Ocasio Cortez's thing. This is her personal mission statement. Okay. The future president of the United States, God willing, the first female president of the United States, Alexandria Ocasio, upgrade or replace every building in the US for state of the art energy efficiency. So this is an onion article, right? I mean, it's not. I'm telling you, it's not. Munky, where did he get this? Upgrade?

Yeah, this is $4.6 trillion at minimum. Who the fuck is going to do this? Upgrade. It's bad that if AOC agreed to release her nudes, I would agree with everything she wrote in this thing. Man, see, that's, I think that's her ultimate conundrum. She can't show nips and keep her power. She's got a magic.

She shows me your nips. She can have all the power she wants. I'll sign this green deal. She'll just show them off. You say that, but the Patreon, once you see the nips, you won't sign. Because then you need more and she's got nothing more to give. That's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a,

a reviewer model, that's a, like a Japanese clothing model, trick from way back. As soon as I, as soon as you see those nips, that's when it all, all the power, it's all the power is stripped from them and taken by you with nipple transmission. when it all, all the power is all the power is stripped from them and taken by you. Yeah.

With nipple transmission. I see. That's, that's the point of energy through the nipples. Yeah. Through that. Right. Nipples are very important. That's how human society power is trans men rub their nipples together is a form of like dueling, highlander style dueling.

I'm looking at more of these, I'm looking at more of these talking points because they're each one's funnier than the last. When did this come out? This week, this week. Yeah, he's shit on nuclear too. We find that. You know, all these brave scientific geniuses who are doing this, this is why I realize why I hate

that people are taught any science at all. Cause they're just taught that they can look at science and figure it out. Right, but they just can't. Well, it's just fucking can at all. They don't respect how in-depth it gets and how specialized it gets. And like how these people take decades to arrive at certain conclusions. People who can't tell you how a car turns on. Yeah.

That's right in front of them. Hey, how does that work? I don't know. Stick to key in and move it. It's a mystery. All right. The first one is to say, well, we just need to rebuild every building in the United States. Yeah. That's what we've got to do. Upgrade or replace every building in the US for state of the art energy efficiency. Upgrade or replace. Who's going to do that? How is all of these ideas only $4.6 trillion? That seems very low. Good question. How is she expecting to have that money? Is she cutting it out of the military? Is she increasing taxes? What's the idea? Probably increasing taxes on everybody that makes over 10 million bucks. That's another weird thing for me too.

Like Oliver plans or if you make over 10 million bucks, fuck you. But then people who can't even qualify for two credit cards are defending that. Like, oh, no, no, no, no, that's bullshit. Like, whoa, I mean, why? People who make up, the people she's talking about, fuck us over all the time. Who cares? They're the ones sending shit to China to get made there. Like they fuck us over every the time. Who cares? They're the ones sending shit to China to get made there. Like they fuck us over every single time.

Fuck them. They're the ones that, oh, they're the ones working at the top of YouTube, banning guys like Mumpke. They're the ones fucking us over all the time. Fuck them. Take 70% of what they have. See how funny it is then.

It sounds like you are an AOC supporter. I really am. I love her. Not just because of her tits either. I love that she says like I as she is now, if she were running for anything, I wouldn't be freaked out, would be freaked out if Hillary Clinton was running for anything

because I think she just lies all the time. It's like a compulsive liar. Yeah, right? But this, I think this bitch actually wants to, I think she actually lies all the time. It's like a compulsive liar, right? But this, I think this bitch actually wants to, I think she actually has a goal. No, I'm down for this too. I'm down for this too. I go, okay.

Well, let's see. Let's see. Is nuclear a part of this? It's unclear if we will be able to decommission every nuclear plant within 10 years. So, 20% of our power. Is that what it is? 20%?

It's like 10 to 20. It's unclear. Well, don't you think it should be clear first before you wrote this down? You prick. Well, I think it's pretty clear in the opposite direction of, of no, of, of, of, right, of, of shutting them down. No one has the full 10 year play-in together yet. And it's possible.

And if possible, it's only get a 100% renown. In about nine years, we'll have the 10 year plan together. Uh, how you pay for it? Oh, this is, yeah, this is always the most creative. Yeah. And I don't know. I don't know if this thing's very funny. I did like the unwilling to work things.

I'm the un... Unable or un-willing. Same sentence. Unable or unwilling. Sign me up. Anyway, hey, Munky, you were on, let me look at my notes here. You were on Info Wars since last time you called in. I've been all over the place, even without showing up myself,

I have surrogates like Tim Poole representing me in the court of Joe Rogan, not all over the place. That's right. Tim Poole was on Rogan and he was talking about Mumke's case. Mumke got de-platformed from YouTube. We got six strikes in one night on videos that were previously manually reviewed. Yeah, deleted from the internet.

How much did that cost you? My whole career. Yeah, well, like what is a guy, what is a guy like you putting out content on YouTube to the tune of 300,000 subscribers pull down? God damn. Well, it's always different from month to month because of the different ad rates,

but I was finally getting to the point where it was like, you know, maybe like four or five grand a month, but that only happened twice. So I don't really know for sure, I'm just imagining how much higher would be even now in February. Just from YouTube. You were getting that.

Just from YouTube. Oh my God. And they just deleted that in one night. Yeah, revenue. Oh, how did you not go? Naseem? What was her name on them? The YouTube shooter? How do you have it? How do you deal with that and overcome? How do you not become an Elliott Roger yourself? I mean, that's he got banned for reading Elliott Rogers manifesto. Yeah, in a funny way, right? Funny way, you know,adjus' manifesto. Yeah, in a funny way. Right.

A funny way, you know. Oh, it's said that I wasn't saying. Yeah. The way I've been dealing with it both monetarily and mentally is through the support of, I mean, primarily you dick, I mean, without you, my website wouldn't have gotten billed up as fast as it is.

Oh, my friend, you are best building it. Building it as a son of a house of sand. I got so many people who came to support me. That is not a load bearing beam. It's like the wind. Yeah, I'm just saying, you know, in my time of need, Dick Masterson was the one who came and said, Hey, I'll help you build a website.

Night. No, that's really appreciated, dude. That's true. Kated up right now. And then, Mom, he said, wait, are you still with your girlfriend? Oh, no, she left. I mean, as soon as that fight ran, I'm up for it.

God no. I saw him post like a funny post on Instagram. I think that's a knock at the door. Is that your door? Is that Mumki's girlfriend coming over here? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like I got no girlfriend, but I got this goat. I thought that was funny, but then I was like, wait a minute, is this like a millennial way to cope with loss? Like you take pictures of yourself with goats?

I got this goat. Amounts that you don't have a... I said mumkees website up when he got terminated from YouTube and then he replied back to me, oh my girlfriend knows how to do this stuff. So if you give her like a login, she can set it up. And I looked at that person and I was like, huh, how interesting. Is girl, the woman knows how to do something? And he gives it, he passes it off onto her.

That's how fascinating. Yeah. I learned it from a stereos. Oh, yeah. No, how is he? Now he's calling fascinating. I learned it from Asterios. Oh yeah. Oh, how is he? Now he's calling in. Yeah. How is Asterios doing great?

I was just down there for two weeks. We did a live show in New York. That was a lot of fun. So we've been doing pretty good. Yeah. Okay. And you got a notch shout out I saw. That's right.

The creator of Minecraft says his favorite creator is Mumpke. Yeah. Yeah. I was a fan of autism. I mean, that might be the biggest autism bump of all time. The man who invented Minecraft. Well, not just the man who invented autism. Yeah. Not just responsible for more cases of autism than all the, than all the vag, then Louis Pasteur. Oh, good. Good vaccine, man. Well, and then all the, then all the back then Louis past or oh good. Good vaccine. Well, past yourization. Oh, okay. Who invented vaccines?

Fleming, Arthur Fleming invented a mountain vaccine. Notches, stops sticking holes in your mouth. Yeah. Just advice, invented advice. How was the info wars? You went on info wars. How is that? That was cool, man.

I'm not going to lie. That's cool. Was really freaking out on Twitter. Like I was about to throw my life away for being interviewed by a person. But YouTube already did that, didn't they? Yeah. Yeah. But it was it was a really good interview. I was surprised that how knowledgeable the guy was. It wasn't Alex Jones. It was one of the other reporters on the website. But he was genuinely a big fan. He knew stuff about my old videos. That even I had forgotten. And he really laid out word for word. What happened and how I got fucked over. And I thought it was great. And the sad thing is, I have this perfect pristine 20-minute interview. Perfectly detailing what happened to me. And if I send it to anybody, they just freak out because it's on Info Wars. It's so stupid.

Isn't that weird? For people who really hate the dehumanization of other people, they shouldn't dehumanize everybody as social. Well, that makes it much easier to ban. As soon as you make them monsters instead of other people, I wish a stereos would call in right now, so I could yell at him.

Like as soon as you said you were going on Info Wars, a stereos and at all, and others were like, oh well, you can't do that, cause then they're gonna point, they're gonna point at that and call you over. It's like, what? Are you guys, what do you mean they? You guys are doing it.

It's you guys, not they, it's you. You're the ones always pointing the shit out. That's the reason why Esturios' quick Twitter was the whole info wars, the debacle. Yeah, well, you can't argue with Twitter because there's always someone that knows more than you. That's the problem with arguing with hundreds of thousands of people.

Well, yeah, someone knows somebody's gonna come along and someone, and usually most people know more than you, the people that you're arguing with. Anyway, how's post, how's post butchering, mumpki? How's your post? I saw that video. How's post getting killed on YouTube? How's post getting understreet? Yeah, I think booksharing is the right term because I really feel like they chopped my dick off. I feel like I had this, you know, this big, this big, big dick, nine inch dick that I grew all by myself. I was so proud of it.

I'm waiting the ground in front of everybody. It's not hurting anybody, dick. It's this pleasure of my, it's pleasure of me. It's pleasure of me. Millions of people at a time. Yeah, just waving around in front of a playground. No big. That's right. Yeah. The waving around in front of a playground. No big. Yeah, the kids loved my videos, Sean.

You don't understand. Well, no, I did my dick. I'm not down again for a second. YouTube just comes in and then chops it off. And now thanks to Dick Masterson and all the Patreons. I have a nice artificial dick now, but it really just doesn't feel the same. There's not as much pleasure.

I'm not as proud of it. It really does suck, but there's not much you can do. It's like, keep trucking on. It was funny when you released that video saying you had been banned and you've got a new account and you were talking about your situation. I was watching it with 80s girl and the thing that I started laughing and I had to rewind it and watch it over and over and over again because you said towards the end, well, worst comes to worse. I guess I can just do what Dick Masterson does and have like the dickshow.com.

I paused it and said, do you see that in his mind, the worst case scenario is being me. That's what that's what it's come to. Well, like it, if you know, worst comes to worse, I could always just be that guy. At least I'm not here. Bumkey, I will repeat this. House of foundation of sand, house of sand. Oh, dude, you've gotta use, I have to bother you to get on my new Patreon competitor

by the way. I really want to, it sounds great. Yeah, I used, I used notches name for it. You should ban him. The only person. Yeah, the only person banned on your new. This is a one month scam. I'm going to sign everybody up.

Richard Spencer, Gavin Milo, and just take all the money and then disappear. And that'll be the last time anybody hears from me. Go find wherever Kendall and Hyde are hiding. Yeah. New project to, I'll set you up, new project to slash monkey Jones or whatever. Hell yeah. Let me see what else I wanted to talk to you about. Oh yeah. So you had, did you and a stereo severed? Okay. So a boxing match I missed or no, they were some of the social fight. Stereo's were having a, having an argument over wheelchair battle over which side of the political spectrum would help more based on exposure info wars versus vice.

Do you remember this mumpki? Yeah, yeah. So vice the vice article I just realized this morning ended up back ended up getting Mike Gams to go after a stereoos, calling him like a white, whatever white, white nationalist blah, blah, blah, blah. Did you guys ever figure out whose side supported the creator more? Asterios is a white national. Yeah, that's what my Gams was saying.

You mean the fucking, the Chinese Greek? Yeah. Uh, the male Alexandria Kasia Cortez, Stereos Coconos. Yes, I don't even listen to what they're saying. They did. There's no way they listen to the words that are coming out of their mouth. I know. From my info wars appearance, the only backlash has been from my two best liberal friends in nobody else gave a shit.

Who was the other one? My friend, E-Rich, so I do a movie review show with. Oh, yeah. So E-Rich and Asterio, so the only ones that have a problem with it. They were saying, I'm basically, this is the same as going to a KKK rally and promoting it was said I'm basically like an emblem of her now. All this crazy crazy shit. No, but shit.

Could it be taken a different way? Like they're worried for you about like what doing this looks like? Do you know what I'm saying? Like they don't think you're actually this, but it's like, dude, that's a bad look because of the current climate. Well, I've made people,

the thing is they're the only people saying this so they're concerned trolling it about themselves. Nobody else is They're the ones saying anything. They're the ones pointing at nothing and saying you could have a mob of people accusing you of being a white supremacist like, Yeah, but you're the one they want doing this Because they're because they're your two closest liberal friends and they know that side No, because that's what all of them say. Like they start this chain reaction of, well, you're going on a transphobic show.

So people could think you're transphobic because you're supporting a transphobic. It's like, there's an indesinguishable between you and the people who think this because you think this. Well, if you think this, then that's true. Yeah. No, that was funny because the same thing I don't know. I'm trying to give it the benefit of the doubt.

No, yeah. But you have because if they, you know, they are your friends, right? I mean, yeah, they are. I don't know. Monkey, what makes you rage recently? You got anything? Yeah. Other than deep platforming, I don't know what's really only I've been thinking about.

Other than that. Seems a little all-consuming when something like that happens to you. anything other than deep platforming. I don't know what really only have been thinking about other than seems a little all consuming when something like that happens to you really does. You're having five grand. I would be, you know, holy shit. What are you going to do to get back at them? To get back at YouTube. I don't think there's much that can be done. We're spreading the word as much as we can. That's the worst part. It is the worst part about having something like that taken away. Yeah, it's been cool to see, you know, PewDiePie, the biggest YouTuber he talked about me a lot in one of his episodes. So to have so many big names spreading the word about YouTube's bullshit is kind of cool. Yeah, it is cool. Yeah, well, not as cool as like 5G in your bank account.

The Patreon is pretty much made up for it. So as long as that doesn't do, that's good. But the weeks will be fine. Let's see what I wanted, also wanted to talk about today. I got not enough chip. Hey, what's your chip clip situation in your house, Mumkey? I'm really good at just rolling up the bag

and pressing it against the wall. So I don't need any chip. Oh, that's no. That's the worst kind of do it. Fine. Man, my chips are never stale. But then again, I usually eat my whole bag of chips in about two or three sittings. Well, that is. Let me see a problem entirely.

Yeah. He's booby trapping the chips. Yeah. It's sitting on the thing. You go to pull it out and it's raining chips all over the place. I mean, you don't have to don't be be a retard and you'll try to figure it out. Well, that's a big ass. Don't be a retard.

Like, okay, put that on a no-fear. Like some people have a choice. That's Nike's new slogan. Don't be a retard. Okay. I'll just do it. All right. Well, I'm over here living my life and being a regular guy.

A retard. A retard. My apologies to all the retards in the audience. Let's see here, they made an emoji that to normalize periods. I don't know if you guys want to talk about that. Oh, no. Probably not.

What do you mean normalize? That's the most normal thing in the world. I mean, it's like a, you know, you're more or less set of clock, right? Yeah, more or less. I mean, it's normal. What do you look like? Let me, I'm trying to find it right now.

I don't even, I don't even wanna know. I want you to explain it to Sean in great detail. Okay, don't look, Sean. I'm gonna explain to you what it means. Okay. And then you see if it's, they made a new mode, they made a new emoji. One is to shame men with the small penises.

Like it's like a, it's like a misted by this much from Get Smart emoji with like a hand holding its fingers. Yeah. Open like this, which is obviously just an anti-male penis shaming. How are you gonna feel if you send a dick pick out and then you get that in response? That's a shitty feeling.

But they did this. They know that the dick pick is an essential part of dating and courting. They know it's an essential part of courtship in the new millennium. And they just made this awful emoji to shame men who sends pictures of their penises even though anything that they're sending is more than adequate to take care of what's going on down there. You know? Sure. It is a drop of blood. Oh, that's the

pyramid. So like, I mean, these are just supposed to be used like in what context? Can they be used like, can they be used by men where it's like, hey, sorry about Sanso's behavior today. Hey, you were being a remote cheat today. Yeah. Here, Rita, I can. Yeah, because that goes well. I don't even understand the context of a lot of these new ones. They made one for blind people, Sean.

I don't know how we're supposed to use it. That's fucking phenomenal. You're supposed to use it. That's fucking phenomenal. You're supposed to use that to make jokes. You put the blind guy and then put the little truck. Yeah, they're trying to be inclusive, but it's only going to be used to mock the blind. Oh, they've got a stat for why this is an important. 48% of girls in the UK aged between 14 and 21 are embarrassed by their periods. And then at 21, they kind of grow up and become people.

And they're, I mean, they're not embarrassed anymore. That should be 100% of girls in the UK aged between 14 and 21 are embarrassed by everything they do and say and think. Well, you know what? I mean, that's, that's what your idea should be. You should be mort defined. Yeah. It's all time. It's more what they're leaving out in that stat than I agree with you.

I don't even want to read it. You got any more big big shows planned? Monkey, you're going to be on David Duke's podcast. No, the really the only thing going on that I want to chill is a stereo. And I have a podcast called Boomer versus zoomer. Boomer versus zoom. Are you sure? You were on info wars.

You may not be on speaking terms. Yeah, no, I guess he now he's associating with a guy who was on info wars. So now he's fucked too. Well, that's true. It must be weird for his stereos having to reconcile these like the hatred of these people with guys who are friends of his Right, well, yeah, I mean Yeah, that's true because it would be tricky. Yeah Well, that's far he has chosen a friendship over politics. So yeah, he's a good guy dog on him for that

Now he's a good guy. Dog on him for that. No, he's a good guy. He also, Estereo's quit his discord because somebody sent him a joke with the n-word in it. Oh, well, it's good. It was a funny joke too. It was actually a joke about white people if you think about it. Well, I might tell to you later. Okay. But see usually when you have to say that, oh, it's actually, actually, you don't win that one. Yeah, you don't ever win that one. I got a video about gun therapy. Oh, gun therapy.

Saudi Arabia gun therapy. That's just what holding a gun to your head and pulling the trigger. Oh, you know, I did bring two other things that made me rage this week. It definitely solves things. Gun therapy. Well, as I described it, yeah, I mean, it's, uh, do you remember that girl who convinced another guy to kill himself? Yeah, yeah, I saw her in the headlines four years ago. Okay, she's how it's fuck. She is hot. Yeah. I can see how she got away. I can see how she got the guy to kill himself. Right. What didn't they never meet? I don't know.

I don't know. I can't remember. But it was mostly through text messages that she convinced them to go through with suicide. Right. Maybe she sent a nipple pick. She did. She did. She didn't write. If she would have shown him a nipple,. No, she did. She did. If she would have shown him a nipple, he would have been like, oh god, what am I gonna go get a job? I've been drinking IPA, I have those. I'm telling you, man. It's something in the brain.

If you see that nipple, all of her power is gone. I never made that connection. Try it. Okay. See a girl and then set it up, do an experiment on yourself where you see the nipple and you will just feel her power over you evaporate, like it was a spell. Maybe he said the dick. Maybe he said the stomach emoji.

Maybe he said the stomach emoji. Maybe he said the stomach emoji. Maybe he said the stomach emoji. The stomach emoji. Girl's locker room at the gym or something. I don't know how you do it. Just listen to what I'm saying. I'm saying it.

You got a lot of big ideas. Momke, what did you say? I said maybe he said to Dick Pick and she sent back the small dick emoji. Yeah, that's gonna be more, that's gonna be responsible for more suicides than this hot chick telling a guy to kill himself. Are you kidding me? You get that small, that little inch, you've got a little inch worm emoji back?

I would kill myself on the spot. Stereo's is texting us. What is this serious saying? He said that that chick is hot. Stereo's is texting us. What is the stereo's saying? Is that that chick is hot? Oh, that's what it's saying. Tell us, are you serious to call in? Stop objectifying her. Stereo's calling.

Don't make us. She's hot and fucked up. I know, it's perfect. He also texted me that I sound like shit. Do I sound like, or or or or or or or or or you locally. So what a lot. This is bullshit. I'm using like a $300 setup. Why does it? Why? Because I'm like garbage. That's what makes me arrange this fucking bullshit. Mike set up. Well, I don't. It's a different. It was the internet. Right. And it was the it was the discord. He's fucking. And he sounds like shit

right now. Well, yeah, but he sounded much different before. Yeah, he sounded much different. He sounded much different. Yeah, I think you got your inputs fucked up or something, Mumke. I used the same thing on Twitch and I sound pristine on there. No, you sound bad. You're fine.

At least you're clear. It's fine. Okay, this is what made me rage about it though seriously. You got a girl who's sentenced to whatever jail for convincing a guy to kill himself, convincing a, they're both like 17. And we're, we're to believe that, we're to believe that a 17, random 17 year old girl has the power to convince you to kill yourself. What do you laugh at?

Asterios is being on the show without being on the show. He says, I would totally kill myself if that girl told me to. Stereo's just followed. I'm not reading any more touches. It's just texting ads in. Oh, could be. And that's, that is what it is. But then all the comments I read about it are in support of this of, she just bitch deserved it. Best deserved it. She totally abused her power over. And I know a lot of, I read it in regards to this show too. So I know a lot of, I know I'm disagreeing

with a lot of listeners and, you know, it's crazy because it's like, are we, we're living in a world where, where you're not allowed to tell somebody to kill themselves? What the fuck? This is the world we want to give to kids. Here you go, kids. If you tell someone to kill themselves and they do, you're going to jail.

I don't care how many times you told them to do it. What? What are you looking at now? I think he says he found her nudes. Who's nudes? That girl. Who found her? Oh god nudes that girl who found oh god stereo I'm trying what yeah, I'm trying my phone over sorry Um, seriously drinking right now. Why would he say that? I?

Mean it's the weekend of course, seriously shrinking. I mean, it's a day Oh, hey, wait a minute. Didn't you go to Asterios' Sanctions thing, the first of the sanctions? Yes, Ranch and I went because Asterios was hung over. Was that when it was too hung over to go? Post-poll? Oh. Oh. What was that like?

What was the court like? It was very anticlimactic because the new judge didn't even know that the case existed. So they just had to, the two lawyers convinced the judge of the case exists and then they rescheduled. Oh God. Now, I stereo's missed that, huh? Yeah, yeah, I'm sure he's really torn up about that.

Did he mean to miss it or did he accidentally get hungover? Well, I had shown up the day before and we went out and partied way too fucking hard. So I don't think he wanted to miss it, but he couldn't get out of bed. It's going to start sneaking up on you, it's serious. I went to party. You can't you'll always think you could drink like you could two years ago and you just can't. You got to start planning. They're seriously needs to be a middle

age, which is 35 plus, right? 35 to 55 is middle age. And then above fifth, I mean, that's just, I'm just saying off the top of my head, there needs to be like an alcohol monitoring, fuck the Apple watch. I need a bracelet that tells me to slow, hey, you 38 year old motherfucker, slow the fuck down, or tomorrow is going to be, or tomorrow's Tuesday is going to be Wednesday. Yeah. Um, it's hard to learn on your own anyway.

This girl is going to jail guilty of convincing a guy to kill himself. What's the, what's the conviction on that? What is it called? I don't know. Um, I don't know that off the top of my head. But the... I don't like the precedent that it sets. It's an alarming one. No, it's terrible because it's like that means like other people's words have power over

you to that, to the extent that you had in your life. Well, how does, how are the, okay, all right, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, so she's guilty of convincing him to come, okay, why are the parents not guilty then? Did they not build this broken machine that responded to? Yeah, how far do you extrapolate it? And I understand if everybody's just, well, you know, fuck the thought, we're just,

we're burning a witch. That's what you don't understand. It's a hot young girl. And we want to put her in jail because we hate women. Like, oh, just say that then. It's just a real knee jerk reaction. I don't get it at all.

I don't get it even a tiny bit. I don't get it. She could say absolutely anything. And I don't, on anything that have happened, he crawls out of the car, get back in that fucking car, and I'll suck your dick when you're dead. All right, well, get back in the car. Anything, could i'll suck your dick when you're dead alright well get back in the car anything could say anything i don't understand it

anything uh... the same in this by the same token the oxy cotton and fentanyl all the big drug manufacturers were all getting suit suit up the ass by every every organization is in America lawsuit lawsuit lawsuit suing them for suing them for an opioid addiction epidemic that not one person could have seen coming

wow these magical pills make me feel so fantastic why did I why did I take them until my liver rotted and I shitted out of my body? Have you tried one? Because of the false advertising. Because of the false advertising of the doctors and all the companies that made this plan to sell me so many amazing drugs that I just, I could have had a great life with Christ. If only the marketing department of a big pharma didn't make me experience pleasure beyond description and the convenience of a fucking pill.

This happens over and over. Happen with cigarette companies, happen with oxy cotton, so now it's a controlled band substance that I can't eat like pezzed dispensers, right? Right, which is- ban substance that I can't eat like pez dispensers, right? Right. Which is- It's got to be controlled because all these shitheads will sue with the company's making it if it fucks with them. Yeah.

And now we're getting the thoughts. Now it's ruining your good time. It's always ruining my good time. I know. It's a complete abdication and- You know, maybe you should kill yourself. Yeah, you're going to jail. Sean, maybe you want to fucking jail for that.

I'm going to do it. Well, just to just to send me to prison and you to prison. Yeah. Okay. Well, you know, look what he did. He told me to fucking do it. Yep. It's right there on tape.

Anyway, I don't know what's, I don't know what's happened to just the premise of personal responsibility. It's gone, it's going and going and going and gone further and further away. Makes it hard to explain anything then. Yeah, personal responsibility is, so the manufacturer's- It's almost not a thing anymore. The manufacturers are guilty for giving you

drugs that make you happy, almost not a thing anymore. The manufacturers are guilty for giving you drugs that make you happy. Because you like, do you understand how people in the Civil War would have reacted to have this technology of a magical pill that made it not agony to have their legs saught off? And you're suing the people that made it because you can't control yourself

Sue God then Sue your fucking parents. Sue your fucking parents next because they did this to you. Yeah God just had the country so fucking full of victims Absolutely Sue the nice Sue the nice girl that paid attention to you that you drove insane with that paid attention to you, that you drove insane with neediness and an obsession with death talking about it all the fucking time, send the girl who tried to reach, tried to be a companion to you and then was driven insane by your neediness. Where is this judge? Oh, the girl told you to kill yourself. And then you message her after that. Yeah, that's on you, man. 100%. 100% that's on you. Oh, this guy is calling you a bitch. And he's continuing to, but I see I'm looking at the text and you

keep texting him back trying to get the last word. That's on you. That's on you. Everything that almost everything that fucking happens is on you. And even on you. Everything that almost, everything that fucking happens is on you. And even if it's not your fault, it's on you. I don't know. It's not funny, but... I really made me arrange this week. Those two things. Those two things. It's impossible. It's impossible to get people to admit that they caused this shit to happen, that they had a part to play. Yeah. And a bad shit that's happening to them, except for, except for Mumpki.

But I don't, Mumpki, what do you think actually happened to you? Who do you think's responsible? I've had a lot of people who, we're not, don't work at YouTube, but sort of with YouTube, like these two trusted flaggers who are experts in fixing these kinds of issues. Pretty much tell me it's an internal thing in YouTube. There are people high up in the company who specifically want monkey Jones off the platform and they won't take no foreign answer. And I have no idea why. Why? Maybe Elliot Rogers' parents threatened YouTube with legal action. That would make a lot of sense.

That's what I thought too. I have no idea. Huh. Do you think maybe the ghost of Elliott Roger got in a computer like in Freakazoid and is somehow controlling things? Well, you're a programmer. You know that can happen. Well, I mean, I've read that there is such a thing as coding.

So basically, it's like the science thing. I have all the answers about the nuclear power plants and such. Yeah. There's a very basic understanding that there is something called coding. Yeah. You're a coder. I know you've spent a lot more time than I have, but it's,

the ghosts are real. I do, I mean, it has, it hasn't happened yet. Everyone knows that. Who can say that it didn't happen this time? I have to assume that Ghost of Elliott Roger would continue attacking the Chads and the Stacey's. I mean, I'm second on his hit list. Why is your Stacey? No, I'm neither.

He'll take out the Chads and the Stacey's and then he'll come after. No, you've definitely become a Chad dude. That's what happened. That's what happened. That's what happened. Just wait until he's in person and you're looking straight down to see my eyes Let me see what else I got here Really that really bothered me that chick that chick going to jail for telling a guy to kill himself. It's not a it's not a good What are you what are you talking about this precedent?

Child is the sentence, you know Now let me look it up. Surely it wouldn't be longer than like five years, right? Oh, God. That's insane. I mean, dude, a month is ridiculous. Yeah. High court upholds teen sexting suicide,

manslaughter conviction. That's what it is, huh? Dozens of text messages to persuade her boyfriend to carry on his suicide. Oh man. If that's all it takes, I got some people to text. Yeah, I got some catfish to do. I'm gonna have a whole call center in India.

It's just texting. It's gonna go through the Alexandria Cortez follow list and just start hitting them up. Hey, what's up? Wanna see my n what's up? Want to see my nips? Kill yourself. Want to see my nips? Kill yourself two and a half years in prison. Mm-hmm.

How much of that shall actually serve? Who knows? You know what I mean? Well, you get to go to chick prison, right? Yeah. Hot chick prison. It's like a sleepover. Is it?

You just got to avoid all the trans women in there. Oh, God. That's all you, got to avoid all the trans women in there. Oh, God. That's all you. Yeah. That's the secret of chick prison now. Yeah. I saw this radical feminist saying how trans rights are actually just men's rights. Hmm.

And I couldn't find a problem with her argument. She's saying like, well, because it's kind of what I've said all along. Like I don't care who's in the bathroom, but I think they might, like, it's easy to, it works differently in the one direction that it does, yeah, than it does the other direction. They'll fuck them.

Yeah. Let them play golf. Let's see what else I got here. I got some advice. Oh, okay. Oh, I was gonna talk about Saudi Arabia, but I think I've talked about enough stuff today. Yeah.

I really hate Saudi Arabia. You too? Yeah. Really sick. Well, I'm banned from Twitter from telling people to eat center blocks or whatever I'm banned from, but Saudi Arabia kills gay people and they own more of Twitter than Jack.

How does that make sense? Yeah. Why did we give these motherfuckers? Why did we let them have their oil? Arabia kills gay people and they own more of Twitter than Jack. How does that make sense? Why did we give these motherfuckers? Why did we let them have their oil? What a stupid thing that was to do. Well, like they've got a whole investment strategy to diversify off of oil that just involves buying all of our shit, which doesn't sound bad until you read headlines like Saudi Arabia will now punish online satire for five years in jail, with five years in jail.

They own more of Twitter than J- here. Okay, I'm going to talk about it. Okay, well, I guess this is happening here. Uber, investment round, they invested $11 billion in Uber, Saudi Arabia, have you? Lift, $5 billion, $6 billion? No, no, $5 billion, excuse me. Augmented reality, $2 billion, the only in that, magically.

So you cannot see Mohammed in augmented reality. I don't know, Lucid Motors, Virgin Galactic, that's what we want. Yeah. Maybe they're investing in Virgin Galactic, that's what we want. Yeah. Maybe they're investing in Virgin Galactic so they can take homosexuals up into space and throw them out of spaceships instead of just off buildings. Yeah. Maybe. I don't know.

Could be. I don't know their plan. No, nobody has to see it. Snapch. Yeah. There you go. Okay, wait a minute, I'm gonna play a song, fuck that. It's too heavy.

Do you guys wanna watch the gun therapy video? Yeah, I'm interested. I'm gonna hear a song. If it's not what I think it is, then. This is, let me in, let me in Malady. This is the hard man, Orkin Hard, with let me in Malady. All right, you can do this. You just gotta tell her how you feel.

Sure, she's rejected you before, but you just gotta be yourself this time. Walk up there and say, Veronica, I love you. You go to the prom with me. Ah, damn it, why is this so hard? And why do I gotta keep asking her out? She should be asking me out. Aw, fuck it, just do it.

No turning back now! Here we go! Katana Blasher, Prinsuppin, rings out as a wait for dusk. The Torah, primmed out low and no shower, primmed to weekmask. By the logic of Dawkins, ingree knives of Monica, you will regret the day you rejected me Veronica! In this moment I am you for it In light of why two good girls always go for bad guys

Rock open up the door, someone will come away Let me in, you bitch, give me some high old you get right Sorry don't mean that, please can we just talk Just listen, I fucking bitch And! And fuck you if it's fair! Knockin' knockin' knockin' Knockin' knockin' Knockin' knockin' Knockin' knockin' Knockin' knockin' Knockin' knockin' Knockin' knockin' Knockin' knockin' Knockin' knockin'

Knockin' knockin' Knockin' knockin' Knockin' knockin' Knockin' knockin' Knockin' knockin' Knockin' knockin' Knockin' knockin' Knockin' knockin' Knockin'

We need to talk about all the things that I've seen you do And you're hanging out with those shots Well, being nice to me too And I imagined our lives together So it cost them true And I'll show you my problems So you know that I'm the guy for you While you wasted away your best days That looked in my comfort And it's not a cake!

Open up the door, it's coming up, it's level going away Open up the door, it's not being you bitch Get me some oil, you get right I'm so sorry, I'm not gonna get out of here At least I'm just talking, just listen You're a fucking bitch I'm doing so the new can say Nothing, nothing, I gotta stop it

I want it, I want the kido, well I get I'll keep on knocking, then I can just keep on knocking And nothing, I gotta stop till I got it I want the Giro, I want the Giro, I'll keep on knocking And I can just keep on knocking And I can just gotta stop till I got it I want the Giro, I want the Giro, I'll keep on knocking Till you Veronica! Just open up! You don't understand! From my point of view, the Chad's are evil!

It didn't have to be this way. You know this door can withstand my Japanese steel, Veronica! Alright, alright, alright. Very good, the hard men working hard. I'm bringing them on to the system too. Oh great new project to calm. Ruining more and more burgeoning careers. Yeah, I'll bring everybody on and then it's gonna get destroyed. It'll be real easy. It'll be real easy to nuke us all in one place and then have. Here's some advice somebody's asking for. Hey, Dick and Sean, I hope this correspondence finds you well. My girlfriend and I are celebrating our first Valentine's day together. And the first ever for both of us this coming week, the first, the first ever for both of them, John. It's a magical time in a man's life. It's a first Valentine's day.

And I'm looking for summit. Are you guys celebrating Valentine? No. You did? Oh. I got to see. I got to see. I'm looking for some advice.

Set the bar low. Very, very low. Yeah. I watched this movie about slavery in elementary school. Oh good. This is starting off well. Yeah, this is... This is... I think the movie was a black guy in present day.

So this would have been 96 or 95 or something. Yeah. He gets sent back in time to a plantation and he has to work on it. He has to be a slave in the South. And he gets out of it by celebrating a great Valentine's Day with the owners wife. I think that might have happened. But the only thing I remember from the movie was on his first day,

one of the other slaves came up to his, like, the Morgan Freeman in the movie, like the guy that was explaining shit to him said, hey, be careful on your first day. Don't go crazy picking too much cotton because we make us look bad. the movie, like the guy that was explaining shit to him said, hey, be careful on your first day. Don't go crazy picking, picking too much cotton because we make us look bad. No, because then they'll measure you against that much cotton for every day. Sure.

Well, that's what I mean. Yeah, you don't want to. Well, yeah, because so he brought, I think the first day he brought it in and it was like a hat. He didn't bring in very much. Right. And we're like, okay, well, that's your, this is the only thing I remember from that movie, don't set X, Valentine's Day is the same thing.

So if it's your first Valentine's Day, you know, just like a bag, it's chip clips. That's a great practical, practical Valentine's Day gifts. Yeah, just get her a fistful of chip clips. Yep. Very good. And then you can build, like the first year anniversary is the paper anniversary,

set an expectations low, right? They don't come in. It's like the first year anniversary isn't the type pussy anniversary. And it's like every year it gets worse and worse. Sorry about that joke. Her mom bought us a hotel room and concert tickets in Vegas as a Christmas gift.

Oh, well, her mom is fucking you bad, dude. Well, why? Because if her mom, then it's just like, she's not gonna do that every year and then it's gonna be a huge letdown when he doesn't do it. That's true. Yeah.

It's a little weird that the mom is involved in them banging too, isn't it? Yeah. No, this is all kinds of, yeah. No, don't make it to Valentine's Day. Stop, my mom bought me sheets for Christmas one year and I couldn't use them because it was. I was sick of washing whatever was on your sheets.

Oh, you were out of the house, right? Yeah, okay. Yeah, this was recently. Oh, okay, I don't know. I can't. That's a very practical mom gift when you're an adult. Yeah, but I didn't want to put them on the bed and then just think about, I know that I know how my mind works. Like it's always going off on tangent. I don't want to be banging in bed and then accidentally think of my like touch the cloth and think, oh, I got to send my mom a text after this and tell her how nice.

Right. Stay out. My girlfriend bought an extra night for us at the hotel. and tell her how nice, like, ah, right, stay out. My girlfriend bought an extra night for us at the hotel. I bought our plane tickets and I'm, how you owe? What? Now he owes. Oh yeah, I bought our plane tickets and I'm planning on getting us a couple's massage.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Someone's gonna teach these boys how to negotiate, Sean. Oh my God. Someone's gonna teach these boys how to negotiate, Sean. A couple's massage? Have you ever had one of those? No. No, fuck no. Couples massage. Two brawds on me. You could be one of them. What do you think? Not you, I'm sorry. I know. I know. I know. That's a couples massage. Munky, have you ever had a couples massage? I've never even had a single massage. It sounds

great though. You know, that is so true. For all the talk of how great men have it, you ask a guy when the last time his girlfriend gave him a nice shoulder rub or a foot rub or something, it'll be never 10, nine times out of 10, never, never once will have happened. Just too busy building my website for free. It's not free. They'd trick that she's tricking you and thinking is free. Would I be in dinner in a show, couples massage dinner in a show? Would I be screwing up by not getting her an actual material gift to you mean screwing up more? Yeah.

Yes. Yes. The whole thing is already going to set me back almost a grand. Oh my fucking God. Oh, I mean, I hope you make more than me because I'm not spending that much on anything. Oh, Christ, Jesus Christ. Just put a baby in her.

Why all this money? Grand, while she's a big jewelry girl, oh no shit. Well, you know, what are what are her mom's tastes? Sean, she loves jewelry. She's a big jewelry girl. Yeah. I don't know. Most girls also love traveling. Most girls are into like books and video games. But this girl she just loves jewelry. Yeah, necklaces, diamonds, things like that, real throwback. Yeah. While she's a big jewelry girl, or maybe he just means big, oh well, jewelry girl.

Okay, she's a big, common jewelry girl. She almost immediately lost the thing. You mean like her necklaces look like hula hoops? Oh, maybe that's it. Maybe she's a Latina. Don't know. The Latina's took the African neck hoops and put them on their ears. Women in every culture need big round things made of metal. Yeah. While she's a big jewelry girl, she almost immediately lost the $300 gold hoops. I got her for Christmas. Dude, you got to stop. You got it. Like, don't equate. You got to stop spending money on broad. Stop spending money on broads. You got to

stop equating money on broads with how much you love or care. You're like, it's a bad way to go. Stop spending money on chicks. They don't care. Look at what they buy for themselves. They buy shit for themselves. Every one, they buy forever 21. The women don't buy things for the quality and the price of it, they buy it to buy it.

They love the experience of buying so much that they buy the cheapest shit possible, like jewelry that costs five cents. Jewelry that they can buy by the bag load. That's what you take a bin full of jewelry and give them an ice scoop and they will go in and scoop it into their purse and then pay by the pound. That's how much women appreciate craftsmanship

and manufacturing. Aides girl bought a dresser for us. She sent me the link to it. She's like, oh, I bought this dresser. I'm like, oh, well, that looks like garbage. Uh-huh. Can't wait to see it. She puts it together.

Looks obviously like garbage. I mean, looks like a popsicle stick dresser. It doesn't belong in a house. Okay. It's like, it belongs on the side of the road somewhere. There's the things that women buy to put in their own houses are all garbage. All that it matters is that you're wasting money

on them somehow. It doesn't need to be $300, $3. $3. $3 set of gold earrings. This is going to set you back a thousand bucks and you already spent, she lost the $300 gold earrings that you've sent her for. Oh, man. So I'm not that eager to get her more jewelry. Okay. Well, I do. Thanks and go fuck yourself. Get her. This is exactly what I told To Life Coach too when he was buying an engagement ring for his wife. Get a $3, get a set of gold earrings at Target and print out a different price and accidentally leave it on.

That says like $400 or something like that. Clearly the $300 gold earrings meant shit to her. So buy the shitty one at Target or wherever, go to some weird store, slap a huge price tag on it. There you go. Okay. I mean, if you, because the price tag is for you, you need to have, you need to seem like you spent all the money

on it, they don't give a shit. So he's gonna have to do this the rest of the relationship. Lie? Oh wow. Well, no, but the lying doesn't usually take that much effort. It should. If it's a good lie. You need a good, gotta find the right,

right paper stock with adhesive and like, just get a pricing gun. Go find this moment at CVS, grab their pricing gun, print it out, boom, slap it on, get a little sticker. No, no, get a little sticker, because then it will look like it's from a boutique, right? Like one of those little circle stickers. Oh, they write the price, yeah, you write it on.

So I was at a boutique in Ohio and I saw this thing and it made me crack a jewelry. And crafted jewelry. Here you go. Idiot. Yeah. Happy Valentine's Day. Yeah. No. Try it. Let me maybe leave the idiot. It's the right that in the card. Munky, what are you getting your girlfriend for Valentine's Day? I'll probably go to the grocery store and just buy like a fucking monkey or something stupid and that costs five bucks. I really don't care. I don't think she cares either.

Yeah, like a stuffed animal. Do you guys live together? Yeah, we do. She likes those stuffed animals, so it's easy. How's that? Living with your girlfriend? It's right. Oh, it's great. Yeah. Wow. Okay. I can't even make it funny. Like there's no complaints. It's awesome. Here's another one. This is from the Woodsman. Hey, Dick, I can't even make it funny. Like there's no complaints, it's awesome. Here's another one. This is from the Woodsman. Hey, Dick, I doubt you'll read this on the show because of all the voice, because all the voice meals I send you don't make it on.

Oh, well, okay. So, do you have a egg on your face? I have a problem that's been bothering me for a while. About five months ago, I met this guy who is perfect for me. Ooh, he's super cute. A lady. Well, actually, don't know. It's a guy. Yeah, it's a guy. is perfect for me. Ooh, he's super cute. A lady. Well, actually, it's a guy.

Oh, it's a guy. Yeah, it's a guy. Okay. Calm down. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. My presumption.

He's super cute, smart, funny, and also Republican like me. Huh. Two gay Republican men. They're out there. They could have little gay Republican babies. Which makes me, which makes him different than all of the guys. Yeah. to gay Republican men. They're out there. They could have little gay Republican babies, which makes him different than all of the guys I meet. I'll explain later. I would imagine that's a very small pool.

If gay Republican men were indoctrinating like adopted kids and making them gay and Republican, do you think so many people would have a problem with gay people adopting kids? If they were able to make the child gay? And Republican. Well, yeah, there's gonna be a problem. Okay, just a thought.

But unfortunately, he had to move about a thousand miles away due to attending college about a month after we first met. I don't wanna say what state, because maybe he listens to the show. I live in California for a reference, 1000 miles away due to attending college about a month after we first met. I don't wanna say what state, because maybe he listens to the show. I live in California for reference, but he's in a different state, not in North California. Before he left, we were both unsure

if we wanted to keep our thing going because long distance relationships suck. Yeah. And didn't really talk about it that much. That's the secret of keeping your relationship going. We were never really officially a couple before, but I knew we definitely had a connection. Yeah, but you kind of know. You kind of know. Yeah. Yeah. Ever since he left, I've been constantly thinking about him, thinking about how we've just, thinking about how we've could have been, thinking about how we

could have been if he just stayed in California and didn't go to college. I just find it extremely hard to think about moving on despite how unrealistic staying together would be. The only way we would realistically stay together is if I moved out there with him and I honestly want that. I think he wants that too. Are you better be sure? Yeah.

Well, yeah, it's, you have to talk about it. I have family and friends in California, but I don't know if it's worth it to drop my life here and live with them. I know you're probably gonna suggest to move on and find someone new because it's not worth it, but here's the kicker to this whole story. I'm gay and sorry to drop the bowler on your mood.

I know I won't find any other gay guy like him in California at least. Do you know how many gay Republican guys I find on Tinder or Grindr, not a lot, surprisingly? Yeah, I was gonna say that's gotta be a small pool. Yeah. Anyways, I'm pretty drunk by the time of writing this. So I'm not sure if it makes sense.

It does. Should I drop my current life and move out a thousand miles somewhere completely different for the guy I think is the one? Sorry for rambling. Go fuck yourself, dick. But Sean, I think you're cool. Have a good day. Also, Sean, for some reason I always imagine you looking like

bubbles from trailer park boys. I don't know why. Ah! Ah! Pretty close. Yeah, pretty close. But even after seeing video of you talking, I can't get that image out of my brain.

You're still cute though. Sounds like a huge thing. You're still cute though in real life, he says. Well, thank you. To you. Love you all. Thank you, I had nothing to do with it. Got a move.

You got a move. Well, you know what? I thought you were going to shit on me for saying that. That's a second. So he sounds, he's probably a young guy. Just, you know, you know the the slogan don't be retarded. That's our slogan on the show, right? How, you know what?

How bad, how bad can things go? Yeah, and I say that, you know, seriously, it's like, what are you gonna get talked into killing yourself over the facts? Like so what? You can always come back like these aren't, nothing you do is gonna be like irreparable damage. I just don't I don't see that. Yeah, you got it. Look, if you want to learn this lesson

of why you shouldn't be doing this, then do it. And it might work out for you, but if you have it in you that you need to learn this one, everybody has lessons in them that they need to learn the hard way. Yeah. And no one can put it in your brain. Yep. The lesson that you will learn from doing it. But if you're one of those guys, then you got to do it. It might work, fuck it. Yeah.

Do it. What the hell's the point? I mean, everybody, what is the stat? Almost all people live and die like 20 miles from where they were born or where they lived. It's true. It takes one lunatic in the family tree to uproot everybody and move them somewhere else. To America. Or, yeah.

Yeah. Get some of that hot dick, man. You got to go a thousand miles and get a hot piece of dick sometimes. But you wanted you want. But you should probably talk about it with the guy in Yeah, you should, you should talk about it. But you show up, you know, get that look, you'll, if you show up, you will know by the look on his face, yeah, if you should be there or not, or if you should just call an Uber or if you can just call Saudi Arabia and get an Uber into space so they can throw you

out of it. Don't, don't, don't kid yourself. If you show up and you're not, and you're not feeling you should be there, don't make him explain to you that you're acting crazy and that you actually should be there because your instincts are correct.

You fucking shouldn't. Listen to him, but forgot to say, I'll do it. Why not? Monkey, you got to take on this one. You probably shouldn't ask the Elliott Roger guy for a relationship. It was no, that's who exactly who I want. So he wants to move to California to be with this guy somewhere else.

A thousand months. So I'm assuming a Midwest or something. Maybe Alaska. If these guys like voting, they're wasting their vote in California. The might as well move out of there. That's true. Well, yeah, move to Ohio. It's a double win.

Two gay Republicans and move to Florida, thousand miles away. Let's see who else we got in here. I got Gabe on here. Let me bring him in. Gabe. Hey, I can hop out since I sound like shit anyway. No, you sound fine.

You sound fine to us. I'll just say goodbye. I'll come back. All right. All right. You got so, Momke, thanks for calling in. Do you ever figure out anything that makes you rage? That's not YouTube and do you play a forming?

No, no, no. I'm pretty happy otherwise. I try to stay positive. You are very happy otherwise. Yeah. Well, that's, I don't know how he pulls that off. Yeah, I know. I do. I'm so outrageously angry. I know me too. I'm going to connect to your, I'm going to set your account up when I'm done with the show and I'll send you these. Awesome. I can't wait.

Thank you. Thank you for, thank you for giving it a shot. Thanks for calling in. Congratulations on all your success. Yeah, thanks for having me. Check out monkeyjones.tv, created by Dick Masterson and boomerversonsumer.com for me and Sturios' podcast. Yeah, tell us more about the call. Real near you. That's right.

All right, bye, Mocky. See you. We've got one winner for the Virgin Race, first version to complete the race. Wow. It's a marathon. That was, everyone's going to win. Yeah, that was first winner.

It's pretty fast, though. Will miss you from like Kenya or something. I mean, yeah, that's what happened. You ran Dick first into, here's what he says, I met her online. She lives across the world and I flew over to see how we click in real life after a long flight and Myled food poisoning. We got into bed just hugging First night I wasn't expecting anything and we fell asleep

But at some point we both woke up and she started stroking my back I responded in kind and followed her lead as she went lower and around to my front, I took over and started fumbling my way to her front with her help. We talked for a long time online, so I knew she hadn't, so she knew I hadn't done this before and was even excited to be my first. Get fucked, Lacey. She guided my fingers into it. Was that in there?

Yeah, yeah, okay. Until it seemed like she got off, and then it was time for the real deal. And my boner died. Maybe I was nervous. I mean, probably. Probably, maybe I jacked off too hard. Who knows, it died in any case.

So he's right there at the finish line. Yeah. Failure to launch. After some struggle, we left it and snuggled until we fell asleep. That's terrible feeling. Women don't understand how annoying that is. I'm losing in a way.

All right, well, so I'm guessing he's young. This is one of those rare instances where I would say get a little drunk. Yeah. If it's nerves, honestly, like that's in the long run, I think that's a loser, but you know what, that's one of the very rare times Gabe should be. Hopefully you don't have a problem with it,

but if you're young and nervous, you're dick's gonna work, even on a lot of booze. It's a lot to get in your head. I can't believe I'm giving that advice, but... No, it's a... You gotta get out of your head if that's what's causing it. You really need a happy place in Fight Club or some kind of meditation.

I swear to God, if we had like a shared meditation exercise that we could use to keep the will, the willty cocket, but to keep the whiskey dick at bay, I think that would be a huge help. Like you've got to be able to go to a place in your head that you know is ready to go. You know what I mean? I do.

After some struggle, we left it and snuggled until we both fell asleep. What an aggravating night. Every guy listening is like, oh man, and they're sitting there and they're like, oh, we're just snuggling. I'm like, you're not fucking snuggled. My mind is called drin of infafuri and resentment and bitterness, and self-loathing, you can't stop, let's like all your semen go right up into your brain and start telling you what a failure you are. The next night was basically a repeat of the last. Oh.

Both of us disappointed, but still happy to be together. Oh man, and they don't know what to do. Chicks don't know what to do in that situation either. They just sit there confused. Night three, I decided it's going to happen. Another repeat, up until it was time to do it. Oh my God. While on the battlefield. Wait up until it was time to do it. Yeah, so I guess he wasn't hard all night. Oh, and at their date or whatever. Wait a minute, this ends happy, doesn't it? I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, wait a minute.

So unless he's like, unless he just pushed some rope in there and is calling that a, okay, we maybe you should read the rest of it. Another repeat up until it was time to do it. While on the battlefield, the little soldier fell once, but got back up after trying some other movements and we did the whole Shabang for real. to do it. While on the battlefield, the little soldier fell once, but got back up after trying some other movements and we did the whole Shabang for real. I fucking did it. All right. Good. Is that enough detail? I feel like it might be too much, but you get the full character arc for my boner at least. To admit details, if you want, that's great.

I mean, shit, I was riveted. I was a, it was a, he tried, he tried to try it again. Three nights, the guy's, the guy gets, oh man, if you don't make it that third night, you got to just go become a priest, right, or a wizard or something. That's brutal. That is brutal. That's brutal. All right, let me get bring Gabe in here. Hey, Gabe, what's going on? Hey, what's going on? So Gabe is the guy who looks like me, but more attractive, Sean, from Chicago. Oh, yeah. If you remember him.

All right, buddy. What happened to you? I got Alex Jonesed. You got Alex Jonesed. You got nuked. What happened on Wednesday afternoon? My boss gave me a call. She's like, what is this? I'm giving these messages from people like, it's called the Erasist and all this stuff. And I'm like, what are you talking

about? But in the back of my head, I'm thinking this must be like some big show's, Gay Abory. Uh, this must be like some big shows, gay, apory. Yeah. Cause I personally stay out of it. So first of all, what do you, what do you do? What's your job? I work in a bar as a bar back and a, well, not anymore and a security guard. Okay. Like a bounce, I guess.

So the, the manager or whatever of the bar you work at calls you in and says, hey, I've got a bunch of screenshots of, I've got a bunch of screenshots of you saying spicy stuff on Twitter and Facebook or whatever. Who? It was all from the Diction. It was all from the Diction Facebook group. Yeah, and my Twitter.

And your Twitter. Which you couldn't have known was me unless you were in the Dixia because it was like the only place I shared it. So you've got an anonymous Twitter account where you're posting bands and then you've posted that in the Facebook group. So that's the only way anyone would have known that the Twitter account was you is if they happened to be in the Facebook group too. Is that right?

Yes, correct. And, you know, I got my job lynched, job lynched mobbed. So your boss calls you in and says, I've got all these screenshots of you saying, shit online. What's an example of what? Yeah, that's what I want. What's an example of one of the things that you said.

Juan, I'll tell the joke. Or just set post the image in the chat so I can read it. Oh, this is the joke. Sure, here. Let me pull it up. It's, my boss is a bloomer. So she sent a Like a thumbnail. So I apologize for like the shitty

quality. Oh And it's a she Yes, she's she's the owner. She's the owner of the place that you work in Yeah, there's an inward in there. There's a shot of me on wife who wars So they must have seen that somehow. Sean. You remember this guy, right? He's like a better, he's like a good looking version of me. Yeah, right? Yeah, I remember him. Yeah. Like when my parents close, they're, imagine their kid, they probably picture that not, you know, not me. I'm not sure what they picture. You know, it's hard to read after.

Okay, so this is one of the, this is one of the things in this. It's a, it is a compilation of tweets in a, and Facebook posts, like somebody cut and pasted a bunch of statuses and jokes into a, to a montage, right? Any idea who did it? Damn, I can't believe. Okay, here's one. Damn, I can't believe I live in a world

where gamer is the new and then you have the N word there. That's, yeah. It is there. That's your progative. I suggest people don't use that word, but they like it. They enjoy it. It's fun to say. After finding out, I'm one, one, one thousand,

twenty fourth black. I was super excited to use the N word for the first time publicly So I tweeted prime minister shenzhou a what's up? And then you've got a Japanese slur in the Abe I believe so The one that starts with an end. It's like you know, bait and switch. Oh, yeah, it's a joke. Yeah, I get I got this I got it. I'm trying to get more Twitter followers, please, oh, okay, so this is when you link to your, yeah, okay. They're not even like, you know.

And then here's one where you just say, is this a good joke? Yeah. Martin MLK Day comes down from heaven and hands, MLK Day, Dr. King comes down from heaven and hands at MLK day, Dr. King comes down from heaven and hands at one time, hands out of one time, inward past to white people across America that expires next year. Happy Martin Luther King. Well, you know, that's, I mean, the best. That's the important. Yeah, you know, that's the job. Sean, that's. Yeah. Happy MLK day. Then there's an image. I can't read something. It's an image of Martin Luther King telling Trump. He can use the

Unword. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Damn. Okay. You already read that one. I know I'm pretty sure I didn't read this. Oh, I'll read that one either. Yeah, I know, I know. Is that one? Damn, damn. Black people really out here pretending eating chicken. What does that say? Cartilage.

Cartilage is culture. You know, laughing my ass off, I have heard that the food, the black community celebrates is food, is like the shittiest of food that they had to eat because that's what they were, it's like, but a lot of delicacies in multiple cultures come from that. It was right. Yeah, absolutely.

It was, and now it's considered, yeah. Yeah. Okay. So what, so you have to, your boomer boss brings you in and shows you this collection on Facebook she was in hysterics because her grandfather had just died that morning too So like she was totally out of it. What she say She was like what is this blah blah blah and I told her I was like oh As soon as I find it was like post for the Dixia. I was like just ignore it

I wish she's a boomer and her grandfather died. Yeah. No, she's normal. That's it. She's like 40 or 50 or something. I don't know. It's not a boomer. All right. I told her just like ignore it, but I don't know.

I figured it was like that, that, that, because you know, like there is not like any customers are ever going to see this. No, I think somebody's taken up a a bunch of screenshots and sent it to your boss specifically. Who? Why? I don't know. It could be. I thought it was like probably like the the games crew because that guy's actually from here.

Oh, really? Yeah, he's like from my city. So like he was like, which would be, because that's, she was saying like, no, these people have friends that I know come to the bar and blah, blah, blah. Is that possible? Is that possibly true?

They have friends that come to the bar? And my games have mutual friends on Facebook. And not like even just like acquaintances, like one of them is like a girl I've slept with. You know? So, oh, what's the canned situation on that one? On that girl? They were kind of tiny, small.

Okay. That's a great. Okay, so just so I can be clear, people sending your boss, it's crazy jokes and bands that you've had on Twitter and Facebook, prompting someone saw. Things no one saw, private communications. They sent to your boss the owner of this bar

that prompted your firing. Okay, so my thinking is to get Gabe rehired, we gotta do the same thing in reverse. Let's see. Let's see if it, right? Sean? I don't know if I'm following. Okay, so this is what I'm saying. So enough people can band together, because it seems, it always seems like one person is like a hundred and you're facing this PR crisis. Yeah, the only thing to undo this is more of a response and the other direction to show that. Oh, with a real cross section of people think.

Yeah, actually, I'm offended that you fired a guy for things he said in private on a group on Facebook. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with, that there's nothing inherently wrong with. That's what I'm more offended by that as a customer. You see what I'm saying? I'm just saying, yeah.

They don't, they don't hurt anybody. So where did you work? Oh, I worked at a bar called Lux Lounge in Rochester. Lux Lounge in Rochester, what? New York, I would imagine. Lux Rochesterounge and Rochester. Lux Lounge and Rochester. I would imagine. Rochester, New York. You got it. So this is my hypothesis. If people are upset that someone who listens to the show participates in all the groups of the show, comes to a road rage, is funny, contributing

member to the show. If they're upset that someone who is a part of this slow-motion train wreck that is the show, if people are upset that Gabe was fired for what are stupid private comments about things, jokes, obviously jokes, even though calling them jokes is a cop out, because who cares if you're talking about this shit? It doesn't matter if their jokes are not, is what I'm saying, like they're just fucking comments online

in an invisible private group that we shouldn't be dragged out in pilloried for comments that we make in private to people. I know, in a vacuum, that's all well and good, but it's, well, let's see what happens when we break the vacuum. If we are, if anyone is upset, that's what we're doing now. So whole fucking point of the new system, the new project too,

people actually have to start doing things to stop to nip this shit in the bud. I think it's past the bud stage. Chop it off at the, get the roots then. Chop it off at the roots. If anybody is upset, that Gabe was fired from the Lux lounge, is that, is that accurate? The Lux lounge. The Lux lounge in Rochester, New York.

What's that? I'm not the only dickhead I think that this happened to. Really? Well, there's two Facebook groups now, so things are kind of confusing for me. So I saw another dickhead say, hey, I got a call from my boss, so this call should be a warning.

Clean your shit up because someone's out there. Delete all your auto delete your Twitter, set it up to auto delete, you know, adminimum. Set it up to just delete everything. There's no there's no point in having a tweet that's older than a week in this world. Yeah, I don't know Gabe. I'm bummed that this happened. I was bummed to hear I was bummed to hear it developing. Tanner was texting me and telling me what was going on. And obviously, really annoyed that you got fired for tweets. Yeah, I love that job too.

It's great job. Yeah. Which makes it more upsetting. Stereo's lost his job for the same thing. You lost yours. I have no doubt that it is games and those fucks who just sit all day obsessing about the show and are so jealous of the success of the show that they want to hurt anybody who's a part of it, like anybody who's just having a good time.

They couldn't hurt you so they hurt me, you know what I mean? And I'm just like an audience member. Yeah, Dick, you did this, which is exactly why I think the Lux, I strongly believe that the Lux lounge and who are you going to name your boss? I think you can find her. We know it's a very strong. I strongly believe that the owner of the Luxloun should hire gay back. I understand, let me just say this directly to the owner of the Luxlouns. I understand that when you see a list of tweets out of like, when you just, when you get

sent a list of anything that appears offensive on a surface. Your first instinct is to panic and protect your business. But I strongly, I would really appreciate if you took a second look and came to the conclusion that it's just shit posts, perhaps necessary of a reprimand or a week off or with the agreement that gave just delete Twitter or maybe not, not tie it to his personal shit or delete it after a week. That's fine. I understand that. But with the ultimate resolution of this action to hire the guy back and not fuck him

over because some other idiot who has a grudge to hold against me is trying to hurt anybody who listens to the show and participates in the show. Well, it's the chilling effect that I don't think I don't think anyone would be would want to be an unwitting party of which you, the Lux lounge absolutely would be by simply enacting vengeance from other people online who know how to screenshot. That's what I, that is my position on it. And I think it is the most reasonable one.

Does that make sense, Sean? Yeah, it does. Yeah, it does. I mean, I think you should hear, you should hear from all sides. You should really hear from the more clear picture you're going to get. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's enough. It's definitely an uphill. I don't know. I don't know. I don't think you're going to fire me. Yes. Yes. Thank you. All right. Just I would also add to that that just in like it's probably not a not a great idea to be doing that just because I'm I'm I'm pragmatic when it comes to doing what

the world I have posting stuff like that. I mean just it's just me. Just don't make it don't make it harder on yourself. Yeah. Then you have to explain yourself all the time. I'm just always auto delete. Um, all right. Gabe, what makes you rage age, buddy? Oh, leg day. Because you know what, you tweak anything from the neck that, from your jaw down, you're not, you're not going to have good time. Can't squal out. That's true.

You never want to do it. I've never had a leg day and gotten done with a leg day and taught to myself. You know what, I'm really glad I did that. That's true. Leg day fucks with your arm day. Punishes your soul. Yeah, that's punishable.

So I gotta say my girlfriend got so, she's trying to stop me from saying this too. She got so pissed off when you're talking about those just want to buy shit. End of relation. Oh yeah, they do. Why did she buy shit all the time? Are she missing earrings? Yeah, of course. Every day there's a new fucking Amazon package.

They buy, like women buy furniture just to throw it away. They buy a woman's ideal shopping trip is just to go to the store, fill up everything, fill up as much as they can hold, like they're looting during a hurricane, buy it, and then dump it right into the garbage. It's just the process of purchasing that they love. They would go to a theme park where all you have

is a fake credit card and you go around all day swiping the credit card and then it makes cash sound. You know what I'm saying is true. Oh, my girlfriend has a whole fuck another apartment filled with just basically trash. Yeah. And it's just like furniture and antiques that she's never going to see. Never going to touch.

How old is she? She's collecting antiques. Antiques. 31 years old. Oh, 31. That's like a 61 move. Well, she's like, um, into the 50s and stuff. She's like a period model, like if 1940s, and she does like, for planes and stuff.

Do you like the motel model? Oh, yeah, yeah, she does like, proclaims and stuff. Can we like the OG model? Oh, yeah, yeah, that's a test. Yeah. Really? Did you have like an account? The accounts, the accounts. What kind of, what size cans are we? Can we hear them?

Thank you. How big are your boobs? Um, 24, double me. She says 34, double D. Whoa. We need, can we hear them? Can we hear them on the show? Can we get it?

Yeah, can we get like a bounce? You know what I'm talking? She knows what I'm talking about. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, him on the show? Can you get it? Yeah, can we get like a bounce? You know what I'm talking she knows what I'm talking about I don't want to do oh Why Yeah She said she's shy no one could see you though Yeah, I'm sure Thanks for having me on I got to get some beer all All right. Goodbye. Good bye. Good bye. Good luck Brutal

Yeah, I don't like to see people lose their jobs and that's the first Everybody goes for that my cans and the same people Yeah, you're just I don't even know I don't even know how to articulate it, but it's, it's a really scumbag, it's a really scumbag thing to do. And people who say, you know, well, I'd rather, I'd rather be, I'd rather be broke than a like so and so sympathizer or like anything like that. It's like, don't worry. Like you will never be given the choice because you'll probably always be broke thinking like that. You're an idiot.

Yeah, you're just, you're always gonna be that thing. Mm-hmm. So for you to take away somebody else's choice or try to influence that, it's pretty fucked up. It is fucked up. I'm gonna read some of these comments. The ragers, the fiance, remember the four-some guy called in? Yeah.

The fiance here, he left out doing lines of coke on our kitchen while the circus gay guy gave him a blowjob. Fun was head by all. Oh, well. How about that? That was a wild story. I really was. I mean, it's all happening up in the suburbs,

no less, in awesome town. Yeah. Well, south of awesome town. That'd be a good way for chicks to cut that off, you know, to cut off that plan too. Like, hey, have a threesome before the wedding, right? You don't get your wedding dates, like, it my three way.

She's like, one weird guy. Yeah, another guy. Yeah, first. Yeah. Damn it. Got's like, one weird guy. Yeah, first. God, damn it. Yeah. Got me again, you bitch. The consumers, it's dear Dick, I've been a fan of you since I heard your beautiful ones bit

on the biggest problem where you discuss decision fatigue. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you on your advice of pulling the trigger and dumping a significant other without giving it too much thought. I spent six years with this girl. We got together in high school, and before I'd even realized it, she had my personality being forced to suit her.

And I wasn't even getting a good fuck out of it. So one day when she gave me shit for wanting to work out and not take her along, I snapped. I dumped her that night when I got off work. I'd never felt more at peace than dropping her off at her house and never looking back. Best part was I was getting a haircut a week later in the middle of waiting for my barber. She sent me a text begging for casual sex, which is when I got to finally play God.

Well, after all these years of being forced to do all kinds of bullshit for half-ass minimal effort on her part, sex. I got to simply say, no, bitch. She lost her mind begging me, begging for me to think about it, not be so quick to make a decision so rashly. Even God, that's when you know you got somebody, you know, make a decision, you know, think about it, think about it, think about it. Well, it got even better when a buddy of mine was hanging out with later that night, had been on Tinder and he saw her up there and she had the ugliest picture he'd ever seen. Jesus. Like ever? Yeah.

It was like that dog. Maybe like stop in the hair. Stop in the hair. Stop in the hair. Think about it. Ever. Yeah, that Chinese crested that was all the fucking tongues hanging out the mouth.

Yeah. And it has like some shitty stringy look and punk hairdo. Anyway, now I'm fully committed, now anyway, now I'm fully committed to myself exercising every day, growing my music production and learning Japanese. Okay. Because he wants to go to Japan, I'm fucking Japanese girls.

Like the fuck fish in a barrel. That's what they call it. My goal is to have some money made off of my art and to fulfill my 12-year-old self-stream of conquest and fucking a hot native Japanese woman. There you go. After settling for six years, I refused to settle for anything less than what

me and my bestest capable of achieving. Thank you so much for your advice and go fuck yourself, the consumer. I got a bunch of messages from cops too who said how fucked up the restraining order shit was, but yeah, it's giving them a bad name. Oh yeah. Colorless green void says,

please stop interrupting Sean. What? It's starting to get on my nerves. I can only imagine how Sean himself feels about it. I always think I interrupt you. You do. I've been meaning to talk to you about that. I figured this about it.

After two years. Okay, you interrupt me whenever you want. But don't bother me a bit. I can only imagine how Sean himself feels about it, but he's probably too cool of a guy to complain. I really don't, nearly every time he starts talking, you interrupt him. Well, you know what I'm saying.

I was hoping you'd do that. I was hoping you'd do that. Let him get out at least five or six words. Well, that's the funny thing before you interrupt him. I can't do it. For fuck's sake, man. Well, if I interrupt you too much, maybe raise your hand. Okay. I will't do it for fuck's sake man. Well if I interrupt you too much maybe raise your hand. Okay, I will text my mom. Oh, she can text me. Okay, I can text the story of us too.

Well, did he never came on? No, he had mother fucker. And he packed it in. Yeah, let's see here. Niles, openly gay guy here, writing in to say that gay cheerleaders are offensive as fuck to me. I'm a gay man. I'm a male first. If I wanna see a man debase himself like that, it irks me deeply. Oh, that's interesting.

That's a different, yeah, that's a different look at it. Imagine, imagine, imagine that the thing that you loved and wanted to have sex with, you also identified with. That would be weird, wouldn't it? Fear gay man, you're like, I'm a man too. Like I look at a woman, I don't even know. What's, I don't support anything that's going on here.

Ha, ha, ha, you know, I don't know. You guys didn't vote at one point. And I mean, nobody convinced me that that should change. So whatever happened there, I don't know if you were involved in that, it seems like an alien. But this is, they're both, he's a man first, he's saying. I even get pissed when I see a male waiter at a bar. Which is, wow.

Cheers. Maybe I'm in the minority, but I even have a good time with friends at straight strip clubs. Tits are for everyone. All right, all right. I don't know, I had some more calls in here. Let me see. Is the song got, oh.

What happened? The Dave, Dave, the shit musician he has on here. Oh God. And ring him in. Yeah. All right. Davey there. Can you trim me?

Yeah, I can hear you. This is, it says your username is Dave, the shit musician. I guess. I think I got to apologize to Dave. No, don't apologize. I feel like that's always the best policy. Dave sent in a song that was last week that was Hello, Dick, and Hello, Dick heads. And it was quotes from the show that he was soloing around.

I played it, and I guess I wasn't asked. I wasn't asked. I wasn't asked. No, you're, it wasn't actually you that made me to upset. Can I just like tell the story and like, that kind of thing? Yeah, can I play the song first though? So people have some frame of reference. Can you, can you post it to me so I can play it? No, I have it. I have it. I got it right here. Okay, All right.

Okay. I'm going to play it. I'm going to play it again. So just so everybody knows what we're talking about. Okay. Sorry, Sean. You're going to cut that part out and let me give people a warning that the audio is not good. Okay. Here we go. This is what you said and I played it last week. Hello dick and hello dick. It's also not too late to hang up. I mean, if this goes on, no, don't hang up here, here, here it was. Oh Hello dick and hello to cut I love you so far right there. Damn you would you like to go longer last time. I know. I know.

Just like the song, the idea of the joke was because you had that time where you brought in to competing Facebook news. You remember there was the girl and there was the guy. And the guy, for some reason, he started his Facebook news, just, hey, Facebook news. Yeah. And like that, so just the whole idea of the song was just, do it be, you know, Captain Jackass going, hello, Dick and hello, Dick heads on a solo. Yeah.

And then a clip of Sean imitating Captain Jackass on a solo. And then the girl doing that. And then another song zone and the guy just going hey Facebook news and it just goes, well, you Went, went, went, went, that's all That that was the idea. Okay, but you've had a and then after that happened I saw this this thread came up on For sure, and was this you here's a thing? What happened is so I like listening to the dick show at the gym to give me a pump, you know? Okay.

So I'm, imagine your mid squat and then a guy just comes up behind him and goes like, hey, you're shit at guitar. That's kind of what this felt like. And what? Let me read the post that you, this is you on fortune It's for channel now. Oh for channel. Okay. This is you unfortunate been playing guitar for eight years Finally get some finally get some recording equipment record myself doing some solos, etc

I send it to a podcaster who plays some songs in a show. Starts playing my song, starts laughing, turns it off less than 30 seconds in. So this guy obviously just learning how to play guitar. I'll turn on another song. Hopefully it'll be better. Plays some asshole doing a karaoke cover of writers on the storm. Best way to kill myself with instrument lads, I'm never going to get good at this raid. Yeah, so yeah, I made that post and I made one comment in that post. Okay. The story is, so I made that and it was just going to die and it was just like, yeah,

I just kind of vented.ented. A bit on four channel. No one would have noticed. No one would have cared. And then some people say, hey, post your solo, post your stuff. And I go, yeah, I'll upload something later. And I never do, I forget about it. And then later, as it's like gonna die,

this other guy comes in and goes, hey, this is this is the Dix show. This is exactly what something which happened on the Dix show. It only takes one. Yeah, everyone listen, here's the episode and the time stamps and you can hear so much. And then you respond to that that saying, hey buddy, if that's you after eight years, you might maybe guitar is not for you. You know, I saw that. Everyone got way more mean on the internet.

There was always, there was one that saw was funny, but I couldn't find it anymore. It was like, hey, steps to improve your tarplain. Step one, cut your fingers off Step two, that works really hard. Was it Chris, the Kiwi? I'm trying to use suck and you should kill yourself. Somebody said, please, please, that guy is going to jail with comments like that. Yeah, yeah.

Or else. There was, there was one guy who said in the forward chant thread in response, he was like, hey, I've never heard the dick show before, but I'm just going to tell you, buddy, you know, you're going to talk, I liked your staccato. And I felt dumb because I didn't know what staccato was. And then I looked it up and I felt even more dumb because I still don't know what it is. So, yeah, I was one positive comment I got. It's nice to cato.

Sounds, it sounds fuck out of tune. Should probably ask for a professional help. Yeah. Well, yeah, I got all this recording equipment for Christmas, you know. And I don't remember when I sent the song with check, it'll be like within a week of Christmas. So I just I just set everything up and I just put it it's in garage band. Right. Really probably the longest part of that song was making the intro finding no fun finding the voice clips and the rest is just like yeah it'll be a quick quick solo and then that'll be it but that wasn't it yeah because we're here a week later yeah I'm trying to find

some more funny comments on the signal well Well, you know, I do apologize. I appreciate all the, I have some submissions. The intro is just, You don't need to apologize because you weren't the mean one. You know, you were just like, guys, this isn't how I'll play something else.

And then it was everyone else. They failed on. They failed on. They failed on. They failed on. They failed on. To me. They all need to apologize.

Okay. Well, maybe we'll start a thread and see if everyone will come in and apologize for the mean things they said. What makes you rage, man? I thought of this for a while. Didn't know if I wanted to get personal, but I've decided to have having an ugly laugh.

Ugly laugh. Okay. Yeah, you might not be able to relate because you've got this wonderful laugh. I do. You know, Sean, like he wasn't even speaking on the show at first, just laughing in the background. I was like, well, that guy sounds cool. I've got a terrible laugh, you know.

How do you laugh? I've been, my friend told me I sound impish. Impish? Impish? I've been told I sound like when you're sneaker hits a gym floor. Oh, can you do it? Can you laugh? Well, I know I try to suppress it, you know. Yeah, the way you just laugh. That's what I'm trying to speak. Right. Yeah. The evidence with that is though, then all my laughing, my fake laughing

to suppress it, it sounds sarcastic, you know. Okay. What is it sound? Hey, that's pretty fun. How does it sound? That was your last sound. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. That's a terrible.

Is that really what it sounds? Is that really what your laugh sounds like? Well, that's really forced, of course, but it is. It's how it is. I don't know what to do with that. Maybe, maybe, maybe just sound is not for him. No, you can't be laughing like that. Yeah, I don't know what to do. And what I do is I try to laugh normal, like a normal guy.

And then, um, Is that about painting? Try like some ha ha ha ha. Just try it. Yeah, I wonder what happens is something really funny will come up, you know, something huge. Like some of that just like completely blows my mind in a laugh normal, like a laugh the way I normally laugh around people I've never laughed normally with. And it just it destroys everyone's like stops and looks at me like, hey, what the hell are you doing? Are you okay?

They don't laugh. They don't laugh? Everyone's like stops and looks at me like, hey, what the hell are you doing? Are you okay? They don't laugh? Well, a lot of times it's like they'll laugh, but sometimes it's like people looking at me like they're really concerned. Oh, jeez, oh, is he choky? What's going on? And you've always had this laugh from when you were a kid? It's just how you laugh.

Maybe if I laughed and go through puberty or something just hey, but it always sounds sarcastic. Yeah, that sounds like a joke. I'll just go. Yes. That sounded very sarcastic. It doesn't, yeah. Just work on, do it like hysteria. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Like just, ha, you need to add commentary and laughing. Is that real? That sounded kind of real, though. Yeah. I'm told off man. Yeah. Yeah, that's such. Sam Hyves got a high pitched laugh. It is like in Deerayne.

I don't know what the... You got to laugh from your diaphragm. Yeah. You can get advice on forechan. I can get my voice pretty deep. So I don't know what the hell is going on with my laugh. That's really good. I know. I think you're hanging on to tight, I think.

Yeah, you're trying to stop it. You just gotta let it go. Right, like a sneeze. Yeah. You can't, don't try to stifle a sneeze. Never do that. All right, blow your eyeballs out. Give us a good hysterios laugh.

Yeah. I don't know what you should be against with a B. Yeah, blah. Try it. Blah! How's that? It's good, but you don't have enough juice. You don't have enough gas.

Boy, sounds like he's really trying hard to put on a different laugh than what he does. But then he's out of, you gotta go all the way through. You gotta wake up every day and laugh for a minute straight, like a stereo's. What is, I don't know where my sweet mates are right now. So I don't want them to just be in the other room hearing me laugh for like You know just Laughing for like five minutes every day. Let's see if I can get it right. No jokes. No nothing Hey, I know I want to tell jokes. Yeah, go ahead.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Why does it get so tight? Why does your laugh get so tight? It's like trying to stifle it. Yeah. I can sing low rider in the original guy's voice. And that's a deep voice. And I don't know why, then my laugh just turns into like the Pillsbury Doe boy.

Yeah. You gotta let it go. You gotta let your laugh go. You're trying to squeeze it too tight. That's getting all twisted up, right? Yeah I wonder if they're I can get like a surgery just like hey open my that's now You can throw it a little my diaphragm just yeah, you just gotta let it go

Again until I'm start I laugh normally if it's high pitch you need to go deeper. I don't know how I go with that. No, we can help this guy. I don't know, but it's a it's a bigger priority than the guitar right now. Can you can you like shout? Jesus. Can you shout like a prolonged shout? Right now. Well, you know, yeah, or in general. What do you mean right now? I just mean I'm in a college dorm and if you're asking me to shout right now? Well, you know, yeah, or in general. What do you mean right now? I guess me and I'm in a college dorm, and if you're asking me to shout right now, I don't think I can. You're in a college fucking dorm,

you should be shouting all the time. You should be running up and down, banging on doors, throwing ice at people. It's a college dorm room. Fuck everybody. This is the only time, this is the only time you're allowed to be happy for the rest of your life is when you're in college

Now's when you should be shouting This is the last time I get to be happy. I'm really fucked for the rest of your fuck All right, no you know you're gonna shout laugh You just let one out for us. No. Oh, that's that. All right, that's I'll take it. All right, laugh like that. Let it out. Let it out.

Don't get don't get all tight. Ha ha ha ha like that, jump. No. All right. All right, we're gone. Wait, wait, wait. I just realized something. What?

I've never posted on the Facebook group, but I did post on the Reddit a lot. Okay. I've deleted, so I'm a Reddit guest. Okay. So keep that in mind when you're, when you're all voting. Okay. Okay. All right.

Get out of your thing. Goodbye. That's like, that is a strange laugh. If I laugh like that, I'd kill myself. That's getting everyone. I think we're done. We've been here a long time. Have you ever heard of a...

Do you want to hear a neurotic story? Or do you want to do voicemails? We usually skip voicemails. Let's do voicemails. But you should be keep on the voicemail train because we've... I like to be voicemails or. Let's do voicemails. But you should be keep on the voicemail train because we. I like to voicemails a lot. Yeah, I do too. And we've been bad about that lately.

Yeah. All right, everybody, you've been listening to the Dix show. Go to dick.show patreon.com slash the Dix show. Go to new project to the numeral2.com. If you're a creator and send them over there, you know who I'm talking about. We'll see. We'll see how much everybody really

hates Patreon. I guess. We'll see how important it is now, Sean. And then I'll probably say our new one next week. Okay, when the yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to get everybody on this slowly. Thanks for listening. See you next Tuesday. This is this is called Cuckstuff. I'm sure we haven't played this, even though it seems like we have. And so is about Cuck Stuff. Yeah, it's called Cuck Stuff. It's a bit extra CNX Tuesday. Okay. It's just one of those days when you just want to get cucked.

Other guys get fucked, other guys get sucked. I don't really know why. I just want to watch my girl So can other dude up. I'm keeping contact cuz if I ain't aware I break the code contract There's many to just stay away from the Co-Cooker. Just one of those days So about the he says he says bullshit Oh my god, I got mad ex-clipsed too I get another fan story.

So, man, he needs that G7. Come on, come on. Come on, come on. Come on, come on. I think you better quit talking to that guy. It's just one of those days. You want to watch a bull training. First one to complete.

Leaves with a calm stain. Damn, man, I'm a brainiac. You better watch your back. Cause I'm fucking on my podcast. And if you stuck up, you just looked up. You next to mine to get stuck up. My best babies can just stay away from the cuckoo. It's just one of those days.

I think you better your mind to get stuck My best babies can just stay away from the cuckoo It's just one of those days Oh, they're guys funny Yeah Hahaha That's it I think you better quit letting go of sleep

We're gonna be living with the laws of So every east side she's saying bullshit Everyone got so much enjoyment out of that, I know It was all the intro you can't have an intro like that You just never have an intro like that yeah, you know, yeah Ratsers then want to step up I hope you know I hired a lawyer. Called your employer. And if I can't keep going this way, I just might be so much better.

You got to hear the word, right? I hired a lawyer. Called your employer. And if I can't keep going this way, I just might show someone tonight. I hired a lawyer. I'm a come for you! And if I get you, you're gonna come for me! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! And if I get you, you're gonna come for me! I'm gonna come for you!

I'm gonna come for you! And if I get you, you're gonna come for me! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! I'm gonna come for you! is Cuckstuff by Cuckbyskits. Yeah, yeah. Cuckstuff by Cuckbyskits. I got nothing else to do.

Yeah. I hope you know that I told those who lose wine. OK, all right, all right, all right. Thank you, thank you, Cuckbyskits. God, that solo was, that track was funny. Well, I know it's so satisfying, though, because I know the feeling of getting, like like recording equipment and then just busting one out and then sending it to other people. Yeah, like I'm not, you know, not

running it by anybody else for like, just here, here, take it, just done. You get so excited, you know, it's happened to me a zillion times, so it's journey. It's funny to see it happen. It's funny to see something that I've done happen to other people. Yep, right? Times, so it's a journey. It's funny to see it happen. It's funny to see something that I've done happen to other people, right? Yeah, why not? Yeah. All right, I almost forgot this. Peter Hansman, who sent the top,

you know, the titanium top, he sent me the same thing. Oh, that's cool. Incredible top, yeah, I think it's over there. And this bitch in knife, he sent in a collection of supercuts from Maddox's last episode to make fun of them. So I'll play these and then we'll place him voice mail. Maybe I could tan her onto.

There's some people waiting in the green room. See what they have to say. I haven't listened to these. Hilariously bad intro, how about that? This is for Maddox's show, the best. Well, I'll start at the beginning. A debate in the universe. Here we go. You are listening to The Madcast Media Network. MadcastBedia.com

Today's episode is brought to you by the best store in the universe. Thousands of shirts, but not really. Shop now and support the show at... Hmm. That's who supports the show now. Thousands of shirts, but not really. Shop now and support the show and m- Hmm. That's who supports the show now, thousands of shirts, but not really. I don't know. Was it the whole clip? Yeah. Try another one.

Well, anyway, we should get on to the debate this week, but before we do, I want to hear everyone's buzzer. Here's what mine sounds like. Right now, this is mine. Same buzzer. And Ron. I can't get the soundboard Oh, there you go.

It's fine. We should get on to the same buzzer from all the way back The still the buzzer with the chopping sounds in it. This buzzer. Here's what mine sounds like Chech-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Still the fucked up audio buzzer. Um, why change a classic? Yeah, okay. Here's a made up story to win an argument. I had a friend, for example, he had a principle that if he saw, if he was like in a mall parking garage and there was a car waiting with a signal on to take his spot, he would take extra amount of time. I'm like, what the fuck?

What's wrong with you? Why are you doing that? He goes, well, because I think they're being rude to the person behind them. And so I want to teach them a lesson. I'm like, dip shit. You're first of all, you're not teaching that person a lesson. He doesn't know you. So this is obviously made up like this. He didn't ever have this conversation with somebody, right? Teaching him a lesson. No idea. You're just taking a next amount of time and he just thinks you're an asshole. And so does everyone else, by the way. Now, you're the person who's causing everyone else behind them to be delayed. Yeah, because you're being a dick

Just get the fuck out of the right out of your stall because that's how commerce works It's understood that when someone's moving out of a fucking spot another person's gonna take it So you try to be as courteous and quick as possible not take as as much time as possible, because I guarantee not a single person you're all fucking life has ever been like, oh, that guy took extra long, I'm not gonna wait next time, because guess what, the person behind him is gonna wait, and the person behind him

is gonna wait. Son, it's only gonna wait for your fucking spot if you're making the most of it. The most of it. The most of it's to leave, dipshit. Yeah, so what do you think about that, Dreadmere? You said all that to him in the car? Well, you're way.

I guarantee. You said all that. All right, all right Well, you're way I get it. Cheeky. All right, all right. A couple more two more two more. This is this is Maddox. He's too many traps at UCB. It's not going to be good. In society, the number of people who are trans are less than like 2%.

It's like real. It's tiny. It's not it's almost nonexistent. It's a blip. Wait less than two percent. It's like way less than two percent. It's like nothing. It's like maybe 1 percent of the population are.

Okay. Um, oh, here we go. Here we go. Super Bowl one. Like, uh, Super Bowl, what's the new Super Bowl? Is it 13, 33? I can never fucking tell what the number is. It's like L.

13. Oh, XLLL, 6X. So L is gotta be like 50. So it's 53. Oh, it's a 53. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, L's got to be like 50. So it's 53. Oh, it's a 53. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, LZR has to take 50th one a couple of years ago. Yeah, listen, because the big 50th, her bottom is like, back to your Roman new mail. Oh, yeah. Like, wow. It could be, it could be 13. Yeah.

Yeah, you don't know. Um, yeah, I still can't listen to his voice. I thought that would be funnier than it is, but I'm still not, there's just no, yeah, I think it't listen to his voice. I thought that would be funnier than it is, but still not. There's just no... Yeah, I think it's funny in it. Some of them could have probably used more context, I think. I would have been interested in the trends one if I kind of knew what the whole conversation

was about. Yeah. Hey, Deck. What makes me a rage is uh... walking uh... uh... german shepherds

uh... thirty i think three people maybe two i think the dog might come on again shot by the dog warden that was a thing

anyway that it's been pretty okay with me it's just a neighbor who says he's a dog warden you know sleeps in like the hall doesn't even feel you don't fucking bed but lately uh... the dog is sleeping with her and her bed but alright i guess i'll have whatever so i go over last night we hang out no big deal time to go to bed, time to sleep with her and sleep with her, you know, when I'm staying. And we go into the bedroom with the dogs, who pops right up on the bed.

Yep. So y'all, you're gonna be here now? That's fine. And she's trying to get us to leave and it's not leaving at all. So what we could probably just do it like what no No, you know, we can just do it. I don't want to fucking front of your fucking dog, dude so we had a So no, I don't know our sex which is why I'm mad about the size lottery but the other thing is that the fact that I don't want to sleep with his area. Like it's a big dog, it's pretty aggressive, it's known to bite people, and I'm asleep.

I'm sleeping around. Fucking balls swinging around. I don't want to kick that thing in the fucking head and give my penis a bit off. Looking like you're attacking its owner. All right. Go fuck yourself. Yeah.

This guy took him three nights to get hard, and you're supposed to be there. Plugging away while Kujo is laying next to you, just eyeballing your testicles. Yeah, with a police canine reject. Ready to fucking leap into action. Oh man, women. So fuckin' animals. Man, that's fucking annoying. You gotta involve the dog and your love making. Oh god. That's the only way to get around it. If you're, you, you plow, and then you just grab the dog and shove the snout right in her face, like a reverse, you know.

That's otherwise what are you gonna do? It's gonna be there forever. Soon as you hear this, you gotta get the hell out of here. Both it's a punishment for both of you. And every, every time you see the dog is, oh yeah, the dogs, dogs, look, don't talk about anything but the dog. Reverse psychology.

You think you can make her sick of it? You know what? Yes. Brick, give the, you're in for a long battle. Get the dog of Valentine's Day present, but not her. Yeah, but not her. Get the dog $300 in earrings. Yeah, get the dog some lingerie if If it's gonna be in bed with you.

Yeah, well, sure. Might as well look the part. We don't know what gender the dog was. No, it doesn't matter. It could be. It doesn't matter, that's true. It's a... Who knows?

Just pet the dog while you're plowing. Anything to do. I think you can make her sick of it. Don't you? Do you not think? Do you not? We're just like, no matter where the dog is, make sure it's with you. Like dogs laying in the other room, well, we got to get the dog in here. No, they'll love that.

Just put it really? Well, I don't know. I don't think you can make her sick of the dog by talking about it. I don't think that happens. While you're having sex, no. Really? Yeah, probably not. Oh don't think that happens. While you're having sex, no. Really? Yeah, probably not. Oh, that would be weird.

Well, she has a dog that likes to bite people. Like it repeatedly bites people. I mean, the dog warden said he's gotta shoot it. And he's supposed to make this happen. Yeah, the dog warden is, I mean, that's, this has gone all the way to the dog warden. Are you kidding me? Oh, man.

How do you think she retails that story? Like how does she regale people with, with her tales of love making when she's, this much of a clueless idiot? I don't know. I got a dog that bites people. Right. My boyfriend's plowing me in the dogs.

Man, the dogs fucking right there.. Like what is the point of you? What have you done? What are you doing today? What do you produce? What do you? I don't know. Yeah, involve the dog. Take his collar off, put it on her.

Shot collar. Yeah, sure. Right. She wants to sleep with a fucking coalition. The least in harness on. All right. Here's a nickname, Rich. Science.

Dan's science. What? This game you remember like 10 15 maybe 20 years ago. All this shit. I really like some guys found a dead mammoth corpse in the Arctic somewhere, it was all frozen. And someone was like, oh, maybe if there's some viable DNA in this mammoth corpse, we can splice it into some elephant eggs or something. Yeah, elephant.

Cloned this thing. And I remember for a little while, there was all these fucking shows like on Discovery Channel and shit. Clown the man. Oh, tracing back the man at the cloning the man. They were like 3D animated mockups of, oh, here's what the man would look like if it was 50% this elephant and 50% man. Oh, we, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh discovery channel in the bullshin you know just stick a fucking elephant hair into an elephant egg and then stick it in an elephant pussy and then it works like right no none of that is right I just remember this oh for no oh for three really really pissed me off because it's like I would like to buy several scientists who just never fucking apologize and all these

fucking people made probably millions of dollars on ad revenue for these fucking shows for just I'm sure they could not. You don't think so? The scientists? No, there's no science in black. Oh, you can see a man up again. That'd be fucking fun. Nope.

Bullshit. Science, this science cock teasing. Yeah. a mammoth again, that'd be fucking fun. Nope, bullshit. Science, science cock teasing. Yeah, science cock teasing. It started with the hoverboard. It started with that fucking hoverboard, and it ends with cloning mammoths. No, it'll just keep going. The cloning mammoths though, I think they could do.

Well, I think they're, they're at a, like, pon-inventing cloning. Because of, maybe it's offensive. The backlash of playing God or whatever. Yeah, whatever it is. Like, I don't think we're, I don't think that human beings are smart enough

to let scientists clone shit. Yeah. And just like not have an opinion on it. Yes. We're too stupid to just not have an opinion like, I totally agree. You have an opinion on cloning? I mean, just like fuck off.

Yeah. Like what's your IQ? It's not high enough to have, it's just not, it's just fuck, just go fuck off. Like they made you, the scientists made you this whole global telecommunications network with augmented reality and free pornography So you'd leave them the fuck alone and you still can't yeah, fuck us. I know you just let them clone some people Because everybody's like complete everybody's a complete prisoner of the moment and they have to have a very

One-sided or the other opinion on things do we want to play God? You don't even know what that means. You dumb mother fucker. It's just a, but it's just like a poem. You're just reading a Maya Angelou poem and saying, oh yeah, totally. Or is it right for us to play God? Oh, that really touches me and Maya. Shut the fuck up.

You have no idea. Yeah. You have no idea how many chips do you have? How many chip clips do you have? How many chip clips do you have in your home? One for every bag of chips? No? Shut the fuck up about cloning.

That's a good ass barometer. I can't argue with any of that. You know, I think global warming is, whoa, whoa, let me stop you right there. Go to your pantry. Get, show me a picture of every bag of chips you got. Well, I got this one. I mean, it's chipped in between the fridge and the wall.

I got this one's flipped over and it's sitting on, but the pressure is kept, no. Huh? If you don't have one chip clip for every bag of chips, your opinion is not valid. Go to jail. Go to your room. Go to your room.

They've really fucked up cloning, man. Yeah. They pre-uninventited. I want to try to uninvent airplanes. I want all kinds of shit cloned. Oh, we don't want to see all that shit experimented on. Clone Lucy Wilde, hundreds of thousands of times. Yeah, that's it.

That's going to be my will. I want to, nobody gets anything. Dude, I want to make a monster's in there. I'm so interested in that shit. What do you mean? Like what? Like a, I don to know if it gets anything. I want to make a monster's in there. I'm so interested in that shit. What do you mean? Like what? Like a, I don't know. Like a, making monsters like clone monsters,

like people and hybrids and shit. Yeah, all kinds of shit. Yeah, it would be cool. It would be cool. Weird chimeras. Yeah, all kinds of shit. Chris spurs clone people with three eyes, no mouth. Whoa. Yeah, all kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of.

All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of.

All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of.

All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. All kind of. for them. I'm standing it. I live with a guy who has a girlfriend and she's pretty alright as far as most girls in school. She doesn't drive me in saying too much. But one thing I cannot fucking stand is she'll do this stupid little baby talk sickle. My baby, my baby and shit like that. It makes you want to throw something through. To him, the worst is that she has broken down my roommate. So now he will talk in the same baby tone of voice back to her. And it's not just like when they're alone, which is already kind of a red flag.

Yeah. Do it when there is all sorts of people there. Like we'll be sitting at our house on the couch or something and she'll pull up outside and go, oh, it's my baby. My baby's here. My baby's here and get up and scamper like a fucking child down and then they'll stay at the bottom of the stairwell where our front door is and just fucking murmur to each other like their god damn toddlers for five minutes.

It's good rage. Who knows your DVV? Oh, you could be the who's your diff. Like fuck like how can you wear a woman grace you down so much to where you are just this broken show of a man. He's in boil slowly. you are just this broken shabby and boy like a fucking child and for now your other guy friend i don't understand it

fuck god damn and i found a study and i even showed it to them because it pissed me off the market i showed the study to them saying that like oh uh... if you pay, like women who baby talk or have like

daddy issues and shit like that and they're in there and there are, and their ability to be an adult. So they have to, they talk like a child is like a security blanket and they don't care. He butts that's just like, fuck. Hey guys, check this out. Yeah, that's a promotional materials video. Love the show, go fuck yourself.

Oh, that's a good rage. I've never dated anybody like that though, but I've only dated women like that. Really? Surprise, surprise. You gotta mix it, you have to mix it up. If you can't give a sub-bitch to your woman every once in a while,

because that can get out, the baby talk can get out of control. You've got to counteract that. You've got the medicine, the chemo for that is a sub-bitch every once in a while. If you don't have that kind of hand in your relationship, then you are lost. Yeah. Because it's the woman, the woman will tempt you over to her line of thinking at all times. They're always trying to coax you in with baby talk, blowing a money constantly,

feeling sorry for everything and taking care of foster dogs and shit, but you've got to, you've got to fight equally, if you're not fighting equally hard with the opposite of that, then you are going to lose because they were doing it, they're doing it to you at all times. Round the clock. I promise you. Have you ever, has anyone's dad, have you ever seen your dad or anyone's dad do baby talks shit with your mom or anyone's mom? No. Never. No.

Oh, how was your day? Shmew, shmew, shmew, shmew, shmew, never. Could you imagine your father doing that? No. No. My dad? I imagine my father is only communicating with monstrous aggressions.

I didn't think my dad had a speaking voice for about the first 12 years. I thought he only talked to yelling. Yeah, me too. That was the only, and it's true. I had no idea how to speak voice. It was crazy when I heard it. They're so angry.

And like other people seem to believe that he had, I thought they were all in on the joke. What do you mean? Oh, I'm gonna pretend I'm speaking and you're gonna pretend I'm speaking too and not yelling. Yeah, but only yelling. Yeah.

Immediately, immediately in the red, all of our fathers are just in, they live in the fucking red. None of this baby, none of this baby talk shit. No. You're being used. It. No. You're being used. It's weird. You're being used. If a bitch, if a woman, excuse me, if a woman tricks you into

and pulls you into this world of baby talk, she's eating your soul like a, like a succubus, feeding on, turning you into a baby or like a weird, some kind of a cut creature. And feeding on your soul, to a baby or like a weird, some kind of a cut creature. And feeding on your soul, and they'll do it to test you. They do it to test you to wilt your penis. I don't know.

I have a lot of experience with it. That's where this is coming from. Oh, she's like going home and sitting in the dark. Driver's Shaft says, I've seen my dad do baby talk, but only to make fun of his kids. Mm-hmm. Okay, well that's different.

Making fun of people, sure. That's a different thing, yeah. If you're doing it to belittle someone, that's manly. My sister brought home her first son, and my dad said, get a job. Yeah, no, that's, there you go. Unbelievable.

Yep. He said, so what's your portfolio look like? No free load. Yeah, no, that's there you go unbelievable. Yep He said so what's your portfolio look like no free load what's his portfolio? My dad fucked up his eyeball big time again Not not again a couple weeks ago. Yeah, he called me. It's like I don't know what to do Well, you got to slow down man. Yeah, like you just go too fast and you fuck things up. It does suck though when your mind, and your body just lets you down. You're like, but I got shit to do.

I want to, I want to lift weight. Oh yeah, I know. I'm like, you're gonna blow your eye and go home and watch Long Myer. That's what he's got to do. Long Myer? That's showing that. Yeah, no, I remember A Donovan, excuse me.

Hey, Dick, what do you think? It's crazy as Cortez's green new deal. I remember A. Donovan, excuse me. Hey, Dick, what do you think of Crazy Guys? Cortez's Green New Deal. I love it. Because I've got a key to my heart, I think I'm disappointed with the conservatives. They all write the white dude, like the Trump guy reaction.

Everyone's like laughing at how crazy it is. And it is. I can rebuild every day. Every day, I can rebuild every day. America. That's amazing. The rebuilding. Every building. Every building. Sean, you see a building today? I've seen a few. Alexandria Cortez is going to rebuild that shit. It displeases her. She's going to go through every city and just rebuild buildings. We're going to need every immigrant in the world. Well, we're going to need a guy who's known for rebuilding buildings.

Yeah. That's her plan is to just bring all the real estate developers, you know, the crem-de-lect-crem-of-the-you-at, the best thinkers that we've got. It's wild. Every Armenian in LA is going to come out and sell do building deals yeah i got to hear what else he has to say about it sorry i'm not

i'm not giving credit of things he is trying to that they become but uh... they're trying to make her out be, you guys are giving them what they want. We build every country in America. We build every building in America. Oh, I'm going to really, really little lady.

What? I see a cute guy. We could just hit on her. We got to see those next man. We got to see those nips. I don't know. It's that phrase is so shocking. We got to rebuild every building in America. Pitch Act. I don't even know about building one building. Well, talking about rebuilding every building that and unwilling or unable or unable or unwilling. The order of it was funky too, man. Yeah, unable or unwilling to well, can we worry about the

unable people first? Yeah, I mean, this is what should happen. about to enable people first? Yeah, I mean, this is what should happen. We have a system that's targeting the unwilling. Yeah, that's the current system. I love it though. I'm excited. I'm excited to get more people like her. Yeah, well, like you in Congress.

Well, you know, what other people who actually have a goal and actually believe that, I mean, yeah, they're not just there to be there. Yeah, they're there because they actually have a ambition for something. Yeah, even if they're stupid, but then they will be there just to be there. Yeah, sadly. Yeah. So what happens? It wouldn't be a problem if there was just thousands of congressmen though. That's right. Well, they kind of fucked us with that one, didn't they? I would like to, I would like to do that. Yeah. That's going to be my third act.

I'm going to run for a congress and my only platform is going to be, I'm splitting this district in half. That's it. I'm not going to vote. I'm not going to show up to vote on anything. I'll put a Twitter poll out if I have to. And whoever wins the poll, I'll vote however they want. But this district shit has got to stop. We got to start cutting these things down.

Because then you can have as many idiots and thoughts in Congress as you want. That'd be great. One more, two more, two more, two more two more two more two more two more Hey, big a Sean. Hey, what's up? This is a hammer so the California It's kind of reminded of one of your bonus of so with the adventure of the creature That will die when the temperature is over a certain amount. Yeah, Hatchimals.

Get your lady to the office with thermostat. So I have birds and they're prone the heater on, blow that dust to the fucking house. The moment she has fucking rats, she has rats as pets. We're also going to listen to her issues. Yeah. That fucking thermostat, we got the mesh thing, and I have a turn off. It hasn't turned on So you're right on the fucking money. Oh It was if it's only a part

Get them. Oh Thank you all fuck with it. Have it affects your You yourself fucking you know're talking about that. Fucking amazing. Yeah. Amazing. I'm going like, I need on my motorcycle right now. So I'm going to go ahead and hang up now. Okay.

Be safe. You guys have a fucking good time. The fucking stop. Thanks. So what I was saying works. Yeah, should we just get her like the right pen? I would like to have a thermostat that as you crank it up from 65 where it belongs,

where God wants the temperature to be, as you turn it up towards 70, every click, it's like, no, oh God, how that hurts. Oh, that hurts, please no. Like, demonstrate at the end of this thermostat, but, we're Grover, right? Except every time you turn it, it's just like Grover and Doom with his face looking more like hamburger.

Click, click, I'm like, oh, oh God, please don't do it. Oh, please don't, please don't. it. Oh please don't please don't. And then it says like on the thermostat. I wonder if I can make because I got a nest with a smart thermostat. If I can make it say like Grover will get AIDS if you turn it past 70. Do you think that would stop it? I don't know. All right. Maybe. It depends how much she likes muppets. Let me see. Hey Tanner, are you there? Hey? Hey, I hear him. Yeah, hey Tanner. What's up, man? Is it jumping? Hello? Hey, how are you with the cabin right now?

I am. I'm in the cabin with 16 sweaty dickheads. I'm the time of my life. Two hot teps. Is this stereo's there? Serious is here. He's upstairs. Can you get him on? Can you get him on the show real quick? I want to ask him. Oh, there's no chance in the show. I got a joke to tell him why. Is he out? Is he incapacitated? Oh, he's been drinking all day.

He's drinking all day every day. Rousin. Rousin from his slumber. It's funny because no one knew that I was drinking all day, every day. Hahaha. Rousin. Rousin from his slumber. It's funny, because no one knew that I was coming. I was a surprise for everyone, because originally this trip was going to be at the end of March.

And then about a couple of months ago, they'd bumped it up to February, and I wasn't going to be able to go. I don't know that. I mean, I was able to make it work in the last week and so I came and surprised everyone. It was great. I told them that there was no chance in hell. I was going to allow 15 men to get together in a cabin and not have me here to sanctify it. There you go. Doing the Lord's work. Are you going to try to swing somebody while you're there? Get him to experiment a little bit. Who says it already hasn't happened, dick?

Yeah, all right. Let's think happen to Asturios. Asturios is still in the trunk. I'll let him out later. All right. Okay, we gotta go. Tanner, we gotta, it's very late. Oh, it's all good.

Totally no problem. I will chat with you guys later. Say hi to everybody. Have fun. Father Asturios. Yeah no problem. I will chat with you guys later. Say hi to everybody. Have fun. Father Astarius. Yeah. Oh, I will. Do you want me to rage or do I mean to just wait till next week? What makes you? Yeah, go ahead. What makes you rage? Oh, well, I was just going to sense it's carbon related. When you get together with 15 guys and then they say, well, rank us one to 15 on which is most attractive.

I want to know who's at the top and who's at the bottom. And these are all straight men. All straight men. Straight men want who to rank them, a gay man, they want you to rank them for their attractiveness. Yes, from one to fifteen because there's something there's something that's here and I said, guys, it's not happening. It's a loose-leaf situation for me. Right. And they're like, why? And I was like, well, if I'm honest and I tell you guys, then it becomes awkward, because if you're not in the top like third, then you're mad at me. And if you are in the top third, now you have this like sense of bad pride, but you're also then feeling

uncomfortable afterwards. And if the inverse is true and I don't say anything, then you guys are just going to be grumpy with me for the whole rest of the weekend until I do it. So they told me I have it till tomorrow and that I don't have a choice and I have to rank them one to fifteen. Um, but they're also like treating you like a bitch. This is like just Tanner. Just Tanner look like a bitch because that's some that's like game. That's what you would do to a girl. Yeah. Rankas in order. I feel like an obligation. Yeah, to make them pressure somebody. Put her under your thumb.

They all... Yeah, guys protest too much. You know what I mean? When it comes to gay. Well, you got to get something out of it, man. Yeah. No, I've already had two guys feel me up and another one try to sit on my lap because, quote, I'm winning this competition bitch. Well, so, okay. So those are one, two, and three in the looks department. So you just say you have to, they're going to have to compete. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Last one on my lap is 15. Exactly. I'm going to turn it up into fun. I'm going to cast each other and start doing competitions. They made their own casting couch in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, I have a team guys together. They figured out a way to fuck themselves. Yep. All right, good luck. She is a scryer.

Good luck, Tanner. I have fun on your buffet of straight men. Desperate for your drinks. See you next week. Yeah. Bye. All right, everybody. See you next Tuesday. Are you kidding me? Which one of us is more attractive? What the fuck? I'm going to sit in your lap. Tanner, I'll suck your cock right over here.

Yeah, they're gonna keep uping the ante, right? I mean, it's going on. Who's your number one? I wanna be in the top three, but I wanna be above, I wanna be above the middle. I wanna be, I wanna, I don't wanna show, but I don't wanna be embarrassed if you know what I'm talking about. Let me just get a little suck.

She suck at that cock. I don't want to show, but I don't want to be embarrassed if you know what I'm talking about. Let me just get a little suck. She suck at that.