The Dick Show - Episode 147 - Dick on The ISS

Episode Date: March 26, 2019

A cosmonaut takes me to space, the downside of 128 crayons, playing the 21 questions excuse game, underwear rolling up inside your pants, JP and The Dickheads Podcast vs. Not For Human Consumption, Apostrophos returns to spill glitter and chew bubblegum, Kiwi Chris calls in to give his thoughts on the Christchurch shooting hoax, a suicidal #MeToo in progress, machine learning and other lies machines have taught me, and how to separate a man and his wife; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I got this working again. Oh yeah. Yeah. What about that? How about that? How about that? How about that? Just had to jiggle it around a little bit.

Oh yeah. Your heart or that thing? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Your heart or that thing? Oh yeah. Your heart or that thing? Oh yeah.

Your heart or that thing? It's kind of an overdone laugh, isn't it? Nobody's gonna buy that. No. Except it's almost looking. He's turning red. And his heart rate went down. I think there's needs a little more

progressive maintenance. Oh, laughs. Laughter's the best medicine. That jiggle around a little bit. We can't OD and it's free. You're on heart or the thing. For sure someone died from laughing at least once. That's an OD.

Yeah, there's been people who have supposedly died of that. That's what they say. From laughing? Yeah, it's laughing itself. Yeah, I mean, it's probably another cause, but, yeah. Huh. Roger Rabbit. Look at Johnny's blunt is still here.

Oh, get rid of that fucking thing. Ha. That's quite a bit of it there. I know. That guy lowering the class of this fucking room. He comes in with that Fanny pack that I haven't seen him. Oh, you didn't see him. You didn't see the bonus episode at all.

No. He came in with a Fanny with a neon Fanny pack. Like a two-tone neon Fanny pack. Like neon, neon, or something? All the neons. When they introduced those five new Crayola markers of colors of neons, all of them.

You don't remember those? No, not the new ones. I just remember the Crayola 64. No, that's a big, old bark boomer. Copper and gold and silver in it, armors. All of duds.

Really? There's too many colors. No, 64. No person could differentiate 64 colors in color. But I have the, here was the one that was very close. I'm gonna have the built- I have the, here was the problem with the 64 color pack. Okay. Red orange orange red. You know what? You're right. What the hell am I? Yep. So you're right. The problem was you would pick a specific color. Can you

turn me up for me or me or every just for me, maybe just turn me up? You would pick a color, you'd commit to the color and then some know nothing about colors would come in ruined and ruin all the good colors. Yeah. Ruin the blue, ruin the red, gone, green, gone, yellow, gone, black, white, gone, black white gone, black gone. So you're stuck with 59 dud colors that nobody wants to use. I think I seem to remember yellow, green, and green, yellow. Was that a thing? Yes.

So all of our colors, all of our pictures were dog shit because the good colors were used immediately. And what parent or school is gonna buy a new pack of 64 crayons when you've got 55 perfectly good crayons sitting there, even though all of their colors are miscedulated. So you get, so you get what's left.

So you just, you have to use what's left. So they made the 64 color pack. And that meant all we colored with was choice. When you just want the eight primary, whatever was in the eight pack or the 12 pack or the 24 pack, that was fine for coloring. The 64 pack was dog shit. Yeah, you had me at the, you had me at the orange red, red orange.

Red orange. Oh, nice. I get to color in this, I get to color in this line art printout of Garfield today That's what I'm doing in school. Yeah, so my both of my parents can work Garfielders in the curriculum Printed out Garfields. It's how you learn the days of the week. They're all Monday because he's always pissed off He hates Mondays You learn about you learn about Italian food and and one day of the week. Spiders, lasagna and Mondays. I'm going to color the shit out of this Garfield. My parents will be so glad that they're selling 40 hours of their lives every week instead

of spending it with their children. I'm going to make up for it by coloring in this motherfucking Garfield. So good. Let me just bust. Surely there's six, there's 128 colors here. Yeah. They've got to have Garfields color, right? Isn't he just orange? Which one? Let me just go pull out this orange. Oh, orange is a nub because every motherfucker in this class all day, every day has been coloring in Garfields.

Yeah. Well, I guess I'm, I guess they're getting a red orange Garfield, which is not even looks fine in the color, in the crayon, but once you start going, that isn't Garfield anymore. Garfield. Wonderful. Indian Garfield. Thanks, Mom. Thanks for wasting your lives, Mom. And thanks for wasting your 30s, Mom and Dad.

Here's a fucking Indian Garfield for your ass. Fuck. What does Indian Garfield eat? I don't know, he's probably got explosive diarrhea. Nothing else. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. Why didn't you just give him a nergle?

Oh, did you mean like American Indian Garfield? Yes. Oh, okay. What did you think of him, man? Indian. Yeah. The color, the country of India. No, that's like brown.

That would be, I know that's, that would be a, what did they change? Indian Garfield. Indian, I know that that would be a, uh, what did they say? Indian Garfield. Indian, I think they had Indian Indian Indian, Indian, didn't they have an Indian color of crayons? You know what? You know what? There's like Indian summer or something. You know what? I think they did. I think they did. Yeah, hold on. Let me look that up. Let me look that up. Just let me up again. I'm still, I'm deaf today. I don't know why. I think Indian red. I'm from Buck 87. There you go. There is a color that you would not get in today's day and age.

No, that that. Yeah. Indian red discontinued by Kral. Of course. Indian red. Indian red. Why not, you know, Asian yellow or, you know, Oriental Yellow. Oh, wow. That's about what Indian Red is now in this day and age. I mean, I guess. Did you see the flesh colored? Yeah. It was kind of pinkish white. That annoys me too, though, because black people have flesh colored palms of their hands.

Like, the flesh is that, and the inside of their mouths, the flesh is that color, but the abundance of melanin makes it black like a black person right? Well, yeah, the flesh is still that color. Well, some of it is cut it open. It's that it's accurate. Yeah. Oh, like it anybody doesn't know what color they're fucking talking about. What did they change it to? Privilege. Oh, Pete. Oh, Pete. But it's not peach. Peach is already there. Fuck, fuck off, Crayola. Fuck off with your 128 colors. That's a good start to the show.

Check, check. Yeah Check check Hey, I wanted to get you to get you to get you got into the show where everything's a contest Can be live from mountain bunker deep in the heart of the city of your failure. I'm your host Take matches in a K the 20 million dollar man recently voted America's best Mexican 20 Fuck we at 28 weeks running. There you go. Oh shit, hang on a second. Yeah, you you dulled me out right in the middle. I'm sorry.

I couldn't even fucking hear myself. Sorry. After that incredible rant about crayons. Yes. You're good. I'm good now. You're back. Can you hear me now?

Yes. Yes. Always. LA based comedian. Sean, the audio engineer. Hello hello dick. I like it applause Everybody get off your fucking phones and give me a rump. I didn't get a rump out of that guy Sir hey everybody welcome to episode 147 It's gonna be a good one. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's gonna be a good one Everybody welcome to episode 147.

It's gonna be a good one. Oh yeah? Yeah, it's gonna be a good one. We've got a lot of annoying assholes. And here's the key we said he was calling in because he wanted me to apologize to him for being rude on his last. Oh my heaven. Okay, put him on now.

Can we do it now? No, no, no. No, no, no. No, I can't, I can't, I can't put them on now. I've been too much of a good mood. I love him. I don't want to hear what we're actually doing. I can fake any women in here.

What do you see? You know, he's a, who's the female? Who's the female voice? Who's the, oh, sorry, Chris, that's me. See, if he, if he was smarter, he would know to look for Sean being 10 times as funny as he normally is. That's when there's a woman in here. Right, Sean?

What can I say? I'm an LA based comedian. Yeah, how hot was she? Well, Sean was ripping zingers. 10 zingers per minute. I've been there for a long time. Funny before? No, never. You've never been that funny before.

It wasn't even that funny. It was hilarious. Let's be honest, it was hilarious. I like how that shone. She was not even that hot. No, it wasn't even that funny. I wasn't even peeing that funny. You guys are exaggerating.

I wasn't being that funny. I was just being normally funny. Please, please stop it some more. All right, we've got Australia coming up in three weeks. Is that right? You got your passport? Yeah, you motherfucker. Yeah, yeah, I'm good. Do you have it? Yeah. Okay. That was a little scare. No, I don't have a passport. Okay. No, it's easy. You got to go down. We've been talking about this for five months. You got to go down to the government buildings. Yeah.

Or the main, like the regional passports center down on Wilshire Boulevard. And you gotta make an appointment, like, but you can have it in two days. Oh, so it's, thank God. Yeah. Let's see here. Who was that guy that had the shout out?

His friends are flying him out to the show. I know you sent it to me. See if you can find that email. I got it. Somebody Dick Heads are flying in from all over Australia. Australia is a very big place. No, it's a continent. It's a whole continent.

I mean, that's it. I think it all, I think it all kinds of room for refugees. What do we, hmm, just put them in the desert. Put them out to throw them out there. Um, I was on the, uh, uh, so if you want to be, that's what, that's what I wanted to say. I had a nightmare two nights ago that we were doing the show. And I was really up.

Yeah, and we didn't have an opener. I was running around backstage going Diego, trying to call Diego. Do we have an opener for the show? Is anybody playing music or anything? And it was just no. It was silence. It's like, oh no. I don't know what to, uh-oh.

I mean, I don't know what to say to these. But what do you mean there's no openers? So if you want to play some music to open the show, send me an email. I don't know. Probably first come first, doesn't it? Isn't it Australia? Can't you just find a guy to box a kangaroo?

There's no way. That would be great. That would be, you know, speaking of boxing, and Kinga, I think Stove, who lives in Australia. He's a Facebook guy, I think that some people want to box him at the show. Is he a pedophile too? What did he do this time?

Everyone, yes. Okay. Okay. Yes, he's a pedophile. I found the email. You found the email? Yeah. What was the guy's name?

Can you read it? Yeah, I mean, his name's Matt. I won't read his last name in case he doesn't want to, but Matt says hey Dick and Szechuan, road rage Melbourne is on my birthday. The problem I have is that I broke out student and live in Perth, which is 3,400 kilometers, 2,100 miles away from Melbourne. Mel Borney. Yes. Luckily for me, I've got three dick head mates that are paying my airfare and accommodation,

so if you don't mind, could you please give them a shout out, could you please give a shout out to Daniel, Beth, and Arya on the next episode? Hey, all right. That's pretty cool. Fucking. That is cool. Yeah. You both go fuck yourselves and I'll see you in Melbourne. Cheers, Matt. That's pretty awesome. Yeah, it is awesome. It reminds me of the time I flew that kid home for his funeral. Well, awesome. Yeah. Such a good guy. So you're rockin' selfless individual. Thank you, Keon. I didn't want to say it. Thank you for saying it.

You are a hero among men. Thank you very much. You have a tremendous mustache. Thank you. I must say. People do nice things for each other on this show. For real. You've got that white man mustache.

It's pretty great. I hate it. I've hated it my whole life because I get the Johnny 26 mustache. Yeah, you know, uh, Who's the guy's name? The mech the machete. Oh Danny Treho Danny Treho I get the Danny Treho mustache that just grows in like a fuma chew, but you got like the art their Morgan. Oh, it's great Donbass about here. Yeah, it's pops in like a brush. Yeah. Like a like I could wipe off a, I could wipe off home plate with that mustache.

You're rocking right now. I do. Shap, shap, shap, shap. Absolutely. Boom. I'm already doing that. I can't do anything. I can just, I can just suck or chat out of this mustache.

I can't do anything useful at all. Just filter all the, filter all the rice particles out with your mustache. Uh, okay. I got a big, and then I'm gonna get to, I'm gonna get to the rice particles out with your mustache. Uh, okay. I got a big, and then I'm going to get to what makes me rage. This is something I've been keeping secret for, I think like two weeks now. I didn't want to bring it up on the episode where someone was calling in about rape day. So I said, it's all loud.

Yeah, okay. It's a huge tickle day. Yeah, tickle day. A dickhead sent this in. He's gonna be calling in in a little bit, but it is, I think, inarguably, the coolest thing. Definitely one of the coolest things that's ever happened in my life.

Really? Easily one of the, easily the top three coolest things that have ever happened on the show. I'm gonna open it up for you guys and then I'm gonna drag it onto the, drag it onto the video. You're building it up quite. So everybody gets, no, no, because it's,

it's, it can't be bought. This is one of those things that cannot be bought. Most things can be bought in life. Women, cars, other objects, other objects that you want to possess. So, you know, beautiful polo more, but you can buy these things. This cannot be purchased. Here you go. This is a dick.

This is the dick shit. This is the $20 million man sticker in space. Like for real, Sean, it's getting down it earth for sticker in space. Like for real, Sean, in space. I just can't stand it earth. For real in space. This is, I'm gonna drag it onto the feet so everybody can ask for an answer. I have an answer on the,

that's incredible. Yeah, I'm gonna drag it on so everybody can see. I hope that's real. Yeah, it's real, dude. Would I lie? Yeah. The other guy might. Right. I hope that's real. Yeah, it's real, dude. What I lie. The other guy might. Right.

Uh, it's not working. Dick in space. That's a nice road rage. What? Dick in space. Yeah, on the ISS. You know what? With this show, somehow I wouldn't surprise me.

It's possible. Rocket Man can pull some strings. I called him when I got this. I texted him this thing. I was like, Hey, I'm in, I'm more in space than you'll ever be. Yeah. Yeah. I like that.

You fucked up idiot. Uh, what did I say? The government's teeth. Oh, ignore the tetris sticker. What is that? What is that on? So the laptop.

I don't know. It looks like a fucking laptop. It's like a laminated can for sing. I think it's Ellie Rogers manifesto. They sent it up there. They laminated it, sent it up there to go. Everybody from jacking off. Yeah, it's their only piece of pornography in space in the ISS.

You doing laminated or landed in case there's no accidents because nobody wants to jerk off with a comes shot piece of pornography. You can't see it on the other side. It's a micro-feesh film. They send it, I know what this is. They send it up every spaceship, every space shuttle. They send up one laminated screen of micro pornography that has every type of pornography on it.

It's got millions of pieces of pornography. And then you have a pair of binoculars and you just put it in front of you and look at the pornography. It's like one of those little things like that. It's just like that. What did they call it? V-Map. Yeah, those little things, right, with the circular, like the Oculus Rift that I got in

Addix. And like year, episode one. So you remember that? Yeah. Yeah. And you go like that. That's what it is. So this is, if you look, this is the $20 million man sticker on the left of this

laminate floating around in outer space. And the other one says, I love Tetris. Don't worry about Tetris. Everyone loves Tetris, Sean. That's what I hear. Look, I mean, that's amazing. I'm as big loves Tetris, Sean. That's what I hear. Look, I mean. That's amazing. I'm as big as Tetris, basically.

Yeah, but this is. And you're not Russian. Floating around in space, you can see the curvature of the Earth. I'm gonna zoom in for you guys here. Oh, that's how you know it's fake. Because you can. Yeah, that's, God. Look at this, dude. You can see the fucking curve of the Earth over here. It's God. Look at this dude.

You can see the fucking curve of the earth over here. It's amazing. Look at all those stars on the background too. Here, here, you can see extra, extra close up. There's the ice wall, of course. There's the ice wall that... Where the anunica you're hiding, right? Yes, yes.

Oh, I thought it was a Game of Thrones thing. No, I don't watch that shit. Eh. I don't know what it's's I'm in awe of it. Look at the hearts all made out of blocks. Yeah, don't know it's so it's not bringing up the Tetris heart that's so creative. Only pay attention to the me part. Sean, here it is again, man, that's so clever. What I think is what I think is trying about this ignore the Tetris part I can't ignore the

Tetris stick here. It's so colorful. Uh here's another shot. It's like an autism heart. It is a Tetris. Yeah. Unbelievable. That is unbelievable.

And that's Andy's uh call the deep uh call the deep art. So I thought that was pretty cool. Yeah. I got it dude made it. Yeah. I got it. Dude made it into space. I got to know the story behind that. Me too, he's calling in a little bit. Oh really?

Well, I don't know. We'll either talk to him or Chris the Kiwi. What do you think? Well, that's a hard choice. That is a hard choice. I got nothing but time to know. Oh, my editing's done. I'm like a new man.

So isn't it amazing, man? It's amazing. It is amazing. How much who else has their merch in outer space? You want, you know, they sell watches, Omega sells their watch as having been to space. Motherfucker shop.dick.show has been to space as well. Load up on shit that's been to space. I'm releasing special space editions of this sticker that you can slap on your Honda or your motorcycle or whatever bitch. This has been to fucking space. You see the sticker? Bind the space, blah, peel out right in your fucking face. Check out this trapper keeper. Practically has been to space. What have you done in your fucking life? Is there any metallic shit in space? No, probably not I don't you know, I don't know is there anybody ever want to

Hilary movie in space? No, no, probably no show space you think you can hide from us in space wrong We got motherfuckers in space waiting to bring you down. I'll find you Nothing about this show should surprise me anymore. It just should put on God. Who's that? No, fuck off, Chris. Not yet. Not yet. That's Chris the Kiwi. Speaker 2 The devil. I think that's Chris the Kiwi. I told him to what? Speaker 1 No, I just want to say knowing how expensive it is to take anything into space, like $10,000 a pound, right? Yeah. How much of that cost? That just cost $2,500. Speaker 2 They put it on to get your fucking thing out.

Speaker 1 They put it on to get your fucking thing out. Speaker 2 They put it on to get your fucking thing out. They put it on to their pornography thing. That's great. That's great. Well, the marginal cost of the sticker, Dick. Oh, yeah. I should charge that. I should. I should tell.

You should send a bill for the 120 bucks. Okay, we'll talk about that guy later. Here's what makes me rich this week. People asking, people asking for details when they say no to things. Whatever happened to you. You mean they ask a bunch of details and then they say no? No, they say no first.

Or they give you a song and they're like, Oh, opening day's coming up. Yeah, I'm getting the tickets. I gotta figure out if I can go to that. Yes, you do. Don't ask me any questions about it. I'm not gonna. I tell coach, hey, opening day, you do. Don't ask me any questions about it. I'm not gonna. I tell coach. Hey opening day you waiting

Oh, yeah, oh, oh, where'd you get the tickets? I was on that I was on that text chain. Oh, where are you? Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like nine questions and then he's like, uh, no, I'm out. You're fucking low. Why did you ask me all the fucking questions. That was funny. Oh, uh, where did you get them? Oh, uh, a guy. I got him from God. Okay. Up here to me in a dream and gave them to me and I found him under a magical rock the next day. What do you mean? Where just do you want to go?

We're not. Yeah. Don't give me, don't make me answer a bunch of questions for you. Like you're one of the fuck like your interview, like your Colombo of no. Just tell me if you want to go or not. No, where'd you get them? Ooh, how much are they? Is that going to impact your decision?

Yeah. Which one do I have to say? Don't make me think that I have control over this situation. Right. Ooh, well, which is it going to be door number one or door number? You're going to, you're going to, you're going to the, exit to the electric chair. You want door number one or door number, you're going to, you're going to, you're going to the, exit to the electric chair, you want door number one or door number two. Don't fuck, don't fool me into thinking

that I can con you into this. By asking me a bunch of a name questions, you already know approximate answers to. Does it matter? Does it matter? Oh, oh, uh, huh. When is it? In that case.

When is it? In the daytime. In during the week, we have to know, like opening day is, opening day is just like a block out your day because it's not gonna be, it's right in the middle of the day. So you're like, you're morning and you're afternoon,

it's not like you're gonna work for part of a day or you're gonna, ooh, who else is going? Oh, yeah, who, all right. Who do you think? The Dodgers. Are you, I'm going, who else is going? Does it matter again?

Oh, do you think it'll be fun? Oh, happens all that happens all the time. Hey, come to my party. Oh, Oh, where? How long do you think it'll go?

I don't fucking know. However long you wanted to go. Yeah, don't you decide how long it goes? I mean, you can leave. Oh, how could I get there? A car? Not just say no, just give me a hard no. I know you want to.

Wait, rep. Pull off the bandaid. No, no. Mm-hmm. Should read the entire conversation. Yeah, you were on that one. Yeah, I believe so. I don't know if he did more. Let me see.

Does this ever happen to you, Keon? Keon the hero is here in studio. Hey, everybody. Hey, you want to go to dinner this weekend? Oh, where might we go? Bitches dinner. Yeah. What are you talking about?

Can't think of any specific instances, but yeah, it happens all the time. I want to do it. Just walk it out every time somebody asked me something. I don't want to do. I think I think I could think of a bunch of question. Maybe if I give them enough questions, they'll leave me alone. Right. As I don't want to say no to this. Do you find it? Yeah. Yeah. You asked me a bunch in private too. Oh really? Yeah. Who's in for opening day next week? I think I'm out. We need to do Daskar in field or something. Mm-hmm. So he said, okay. He says, he says, you have a line on tickets and you said, I have them. I have them.

And he says, oh, the 28th. He said, yeah, I gave tips. Yeah, that's when it is. Tempting, thanks for the invite, but I'm out. Oh, okay, Tempty. Yeah. Thanks for throwing up all these possible questions. Like one of them wasn't answered to your satisfaction. And that's why you're bitching out, you motherfucker.

Yeah, I had a bunch more. Yeah, in private. Okay. You should told him it came with a babysitter. Yeah. It doesn't though. A wife's sitter. That's the best, that's the best, that's when your friend has a kid.

Like, oh, we're gonna get a babysitter. Oh, what are you guys, my babysitter's a little expensive. Just make your wife do it. Oh. I knew that was my brother in law all the time. Oh, we'd have to get a babysitter. I mean, can my sister do it? Just come on.

Get out of here. If only you could call in a bomb threat that only worked on women of your friends, the wives of your friends, right? Well, you and Justin Guideapurts, you and Justin Guideapurts, you're going around snatching up babies unless the mother's around. No, if the mother's around and the father's not around and the father's not around, you make sure that someone they cannot stand

to be around is there. No, but then he won't show up either. Then you fucked them both. No, no, no, no, that she can't stand to be around. Well, yeah, but it's not fun. Now, he won't shine. You have way too much hand in your relationship if you think that will be the outcome of that.

He will not go. It's a very delicate, you really got to thread the needle to separate the man from his wife. You really got to come up because she gets, she's in his ear all day. And you've got a couple lines to give him that he can, you talk to your friend and you give him some lines that he can go home with, and present to his wife and say, here's why I should be able to go out without you. And she just masches and stomps the shit out of them. So you've got to make sure they can withstand that

and they never, we haven't figured out one that can't. So there's a figure out how to temper that steel, how to separate the man from his wife, then we've got it, then we made real progress. Yeah, we can get a sticker into space. But we can't come up with a good excuse or reason. All right, here's what also makes me rich. All right, here's what else makes me rich. Your underpants, when you pull on your jeans and your underpants roll up, yeah, inside your jeans, then you have to reach down into your jeans,

a reroll them down like an animal. Yeah, so it's, and you can't ever do it right. It is a major, it's a major, it's a major negative, it's a reason to not wear underpants with your jeans. And you know it's coming when you put them on too. You're like, oh, god damn it, they're going to bunch up. Here we go. All right.

Yeah, I'm going to lay on my back like a woman and try to squeeze into these underpants. I'm gonna be doing this for the rest of my life. I'm gonna be trying new ways. You lay on your back to do it? Sean, I'll do anything to avoid my underwear getting rolled up. Okay. Into like little weird jockey things under my jeans that everybody can see through.

It looks like you have a weird ring. It looks like you're wearing some kind of weird man-pun or semen protecting undergarment. Just wear like a red spito. Nothing but that's it. Does this happen to you? What I'm talking about? Uh, no. No.

No, kind of underwear, do you wear? Boxer briefs. Me too. This happens to me every day. Every day. How tight are your jeans? Well, that's, yeah, pretty tight. Okay.

Well, it's, you're just too fashionable. That's what it is. Gotta get them baggy like a 1990s gangster style. No, because every time I buy jeans, I come out with something that I absolutely hate. That's true. It's always like a pair. You're like, what the fuck did I buy these?

How did I think these fit? They don't at all. No, there is always at least a pair. I got two numbers. You're so fast. I know. And the long size and every time I go in in and it's like a, it's like plus or minus two.

And either direction, you're buying your clothes at the clothes store. You got to buy your clothes from the hardware store, go to like Osh or anywhere, get car hearts and like the stuff. If it has a helmet on it, like a helmet decal, it's going to fit right. Only wear jump suits. Yeah, pretty much. Like these, I got these at OSHP for OSHP closed down. They're, they're for a big fat guys

who are on their knees all day being electricians. They fit great. Yeah, that's what I need. Just fat guy jeans. Yeah. Like the, the, the, they get in touch with the Inter Mexican man. I wear dicks all the time.

Oh, that is good. Well, this is what I'm reduced to now is pulling up my pants halfway, pulling them inside out, pulling them up to the edge of my underpants, and then trying to roll them up my legs like a condom just to get on so I don't have to pull, so I don't have to unroll my underpants on the insides of my, they're bunched up right now. I know, I hate that. I'm just wearing shorts.

I know exactly what you're talking about. He's fucking, it's so annoying. It's so annoying. It really is. It's so annoying, but I can't wear, I can't switch to just the tidy white brand. No, because that's a little much. Yeah. I mean, you're not 50 yet. Yeah. I don't want to see myself or or nine. Well, yeah. I'm not a pedophile. Um, is that just had to clarify that point. Please no one tried a box dick right now. You do from now on. I guess.

Oh, it's really crazy. Yeah. It's crazy to me the ease at which people will call someone else a pedophile or call or anything anything. Yeah. Racist. I know a pedophile. Oh, yeah.

I sure wish I could, I sure wish I could do all this person. It's just called me a pedophile. I sure wish I could do this person. It's called me a pedophile. Because I would do it on people's behalf. Yeah. I was on P.A. Somebody's champion. Yeah. I was on P.K.A. this week and they're saying Milo's defending pedophilia.

Just, you really think that? Do you think a guy who's... You mean from the thing that blew up about six months ago or a year ago or whatever? No, that's... Are you guys... How do you even say that out loud? Yeah, I know.

It's pedophile, defending pedophilia. Like, nobody's doing that. I promise you, only the very sickest of weirdos are doing that. Yeah. All right, here's what also makes me rage. Machine learning. You, machine learning. You mean like learning algorithms? Or, yeah.

Yeah. Hear it more and more. Yeah. Machine learning. It's all bullshit. Everything. That there was a Google doodle of Bach this week. A lot of people are talking about that.

Yeah, meant to drill into your head that the concept of machine learning is valid. It's not at all. It's total stupid bullshit. I happen to just talk to a piano teacher who did that just, you know, for fun or whatever. And he's like, this is nothing like. He's like, he's like, well, I can hear it in some parts. Like kind of, he's like, he's like, well, I can hear it in some parts. He's like, this is not what Bach sounds like. These were not his tendencies. These are, you know, it's four measures.

It's supposed to harmonize, you know, or it's, right? It's four measures of trash. Yeah. It's just trash. I built the Maddox Lost song on it and hit Harmonize, thinking, knowing immediately, like, well, this isn't going to work. Yeah. Because it has one of the three buzzwords that mean it's complete bullshit, which is machine

learning, artificial intelligence or fuzzy logic. I see any of those, like, okay, so it's garbage. So it doesn't work. And you had to make shit up. You had to make shit up to con stupid people to make me suspend my disbelief over a broken thing. Yeah. Like if you're, you're the steering on your car is too fucked up to work and your mechanic

goes, well, that's machine learning. The car's actually learning to, learning to steer itself. Why don't you take a second look and see why the mechanics are broken, instead of calling the broken thing something new. Something new. Machine learning. No, it's four measures of garbage that they found out. All of the shit that Google puts out in the name of machine learning just looks like a computer

took a shit on the screen and then oh, look at this, look at this deep dreaming thing. Just looks like a bunch of eyeballs. Here's this Bach harmonizer that we deep machine learned. So you made a program that makes crappy music. No, it's machine learning. We have an AI that detects toxic, we have an artificial intelligence that detects toxicity online. So you're looking for, you're looking for slurs on homosexuals, you have like a search for,

you know, the words that we're not allowed to say. No, let me get, if I replace, if I replace A with four, is the machine learning going to stop working? Oh, I don't know. Why don't you, I don't know. Why don't you, that's funny. Yeah, then our machine will learn. Oh, does your machine learn by a guy clicking on a button and saying learn this new, like, it's a fucking program.

They've done a computer control F. Yeah, wow, cool machine learning that you just did. I brought in some other examples of machine learning. Uh-huh. Artificial intelligence is cited as a barrier to strengthen the American border wall. The barrier turns out to be sensors and automated kiosks. That's it. Did you see?

What does that mean? It's like a motion detector. You know that thing outside of everyone's garage in suburban America that lights up when a raccoon runs in front. That's artificial intelligence at work. But I was just about to say when you said raccoon, do they think Mexicans are raccoons? Like they're going to walk up to the border wall and the lights are going to turn on. They're all going to, I wait. No, my my my like, yeah, that's our that's machine learning. Okay. Yeah. Oh my garbage cans. Get out of my garbage cans. Get out of the trash cans.

They've got like a checkered cheese. Get out of the middle and out. Of a king of the hill guy, that guy in Beavison Budhead, who sounded like Anderson, who just comes out, like all busted going. Yeah, my property. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my property.

Yo, I, you all the same boys that have been hiking off in my tools, shit. One of them's name was butthole the other was Joe They were all in a lot believe that was the funniest thing he ever said His name was butthole the other was Joe they were Oriental I believe that's machine learning Sean. Yeah, what you're describing Butthole and Joe no machine could ever come up with that So they're not they're not learning. You could put every episode of Beavis and Butthead into Google's stupid little Bach thing. It's never going to produce

Butthole and Joe as an outcome. It's going to just come out with garbage and trash. It's just like a, it's a fucking, it annoys me because it's not laughing. Butthole and Joe. It's a funny line. It's a funny, a slimy ever said. That's the new Turing test. Yeah. If a computer creates butthole and Joe on its own, then it's, if a computer can make me laugh, that's the test because chicken people into thinking

that the computer is a human is not good enough because people cannot convince me that they are humans. You put me on a terminal with a real human, I'm gonna say this person is some kind of dog or a pig or an intelligent pig, they've wired up a chatbot to a pig's head or maybe it's a computer, I don't know, it's definitely not a human sending out these tweets

about pedophile. Nobody would talk like this. No one would talk like this. But hole in Joe, it's definitely not a human sending out these tweets about pedophile. Nobody would talk like this. No one would talk like this. But hole in Joe, that's the new Facebook announced an AI to detect suicidal thoughts posted to its platform. Suicidal thoughts? I mean, wouldn't that be suicidal writing? No.

Any old computer software can detect that. It takes real artificial intelligence to detect suicidal thoughts. Closer inspection reveals that the AI detection was a pattern matching filter that flags posts for human commutative. So looking for I'm so sad I want to kill myself. Yeah, kind of thing. Yeah, that's gonna solve the suicide epidemic, kick them off Facebook. Did you see all those park land shooting kids that killed themselves? No.

Another one just did this morning. I thought someone else was killing them. Well, they're doing it from, that guy came back from beyond the grave to finish the job. That's a horror movie waiting to have them all, oh my god. All these kids are killing themselves, why? Like Chuckie, but.

Yeah, Satan sent him back to hell. He possesses, he's possessing the guns in their houses and then the guns like, use me. Terrible. They're like the Tuskegee Airmen. Did you ever see that movie in college? Oh, the Tuskegee Airmen in this movie. I mean, I know about it, but I know I didn't see the movie.

I had to watch this movie in high school about the Tuskegee Airmen in this movie. I mean, I know about it, but I didn't see the movie. I had to watch this movie in high school about the Tuskegee Airmen and they would get yelled at or fuck up in some way and then immediately go and crash their planes. What? They would get all pissed off, like, ah, this is just in the training camp. Oh, man.

They'd get all pissed off and then go. I'll show them by wasting all this government money and time. Yeah, ain't that the truth? It's madlibs. Machine learning is total bullshit. It's madlibs. It's vomit coming from computers and I hate hearing it. I think that we're going to have robots that are not artificially intelligent, that we're

going to have to call artificially intelligent, because it's all the rage to just take words and treat them for like what they don't mean. Because it'll be hate speech to not call them artificially intelligence to deny their personhood. You're denying their personhood. But they identify as a human. Yeah, like whatever made gender stop just being synonymous with sex. Well, you know, if we call it sex, like, well, actually, no, no, talking about it may go make up your own fucking word.

You don't need to ruin this one. Yeah, there you go. I don't know. It's really, really annoys me to see. It's not, there's none. There's not one tiny bit of intelligence or learning going on there. It's just a shitty program that some idiot with too much time on their hands build and then push it out to fail spectacularly in front of everyone. Stogged shit. It's dog shit and it conveys the illusion that there's more going on in what you're seeing than is actually happening.

Just a bunch of control Fs happening behind the scenes and then being presented to you as more than garbage when that's all that it is. Total fucking garbage. And anyone who doesn't say so is lying to you. Um, habits of highly effective people. The book. Or is it like, is it a book?

Is there a book that's just like, I mean something like that, like seven habits of, I don't know, I don't know. It sounds like a book, it should be a book. I don't know, but I get inundated with ads for habits of highly successful people all day, everyday. I don't know if I'm on some kind of like a...

Shmuck, what you searched for, whatever, right? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if I'm targeted advertising. I must be on some kind of like, schmuck list or sucker list because I get these goddamn things all day. And all they do is drive me insane with that, uh,

entrepreneur, entrepreneur syndrome. I sit, I've read them and it starts out with, well, wake up, wake up and read a book, as well, wake up, wake up and read a book, wake up and go for a run and spend three hours meditating. Like how are any of these, I know, how are any effective people getting anything done? I wake up and feel instant panic at the avalanche of email that I'm not going, that I'm not gonna answer today.

How the fuck is going for a run gonna help me with that or reading a book? What am I supposed to get out of a book? Why is everyone so in love with reading books? It's like how they tell you to cook for yourself and eat healthy. Oh yeah. Who has a fucking time to be the eight,

two hours to make dinner? I'll get right on that. Right after I'm done dealing with my crippling alcoholism from the pressure of not needing to fail every day when you're not doing something that isn't just prescribed cubicle work for the rest of your life. I'll get right on that.

I'll order up my hello fresh and start making a half, a chick-sized meal for a man when I'm done meditating, reading a book, and then painting while I'm learning another fucking language for no reason. I can talk to my cleaning lady. Thank you. Here's the one habit of highly effective people.

Try to kill yourself today on it. I'm on it. I'm gonna get through today like I did yesterday. Effectively. Effectively. Without reading a book. Who does, who does any of those things? Well, people who aren't really successful,

people who have a lot of money, but that probably have a lot of money for the same reason that a winery has a million dollars. They started off with a billion dollars and just fucking losing money. I blew it up it all. Right, because they spend too much goddamn time meditating and reading books and going for runs, not enough time working. So yeah, they're successful because they don't have to work because their grandfather like bought 300 acres in the San Fernando Valley when it was $0.10 an acre and now they're

huge landlords or whatever. But no, they're not actually successful. You have any habits of highly effective people, Sean? I don't know. We have it's of highly successful effective people. I have no idea. I want to print them out. Not according to that, Liz. I want to print them out

and to have the person who wrote it, just do it every day. Here, welcome to the prison of efficiency that is your life, you stupid bitch. Let me send me another one of these Promote me another one of these habits of highly effective people So I can wait so I could get on the treadmill of efficiency and run until I'm fucking dead. Yeah for you who does this shit I don't know. I don't know anybody who has the time Chicks who post this kind of stuff on Instagram. This is for women. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. It is for women. Right. Good thing. Well, just like the loot boxes. I know

how many I can't count the number of ads I get for shitty crates of garbage that are targeted. They're clearly targeted towards me. And every time I see one I think please God don't send this to any women in my life. Do not send them an ad to buy me a box that has like a weird brass knuckles a hatchet which I can I know where the hatchets are if I ever need one I'll go get one at home deep bow that has a rubber grip and doesn't look like it's out of a fifth grade the fifth grade required reading material called Hatchet. I don't need a loot box. Funny. I read that book.

Recarves out of canoe. Yeah. Doesn't hatch it. Yeah. Is he in a plane crash? Yeah. And all he had was a hatchet. Yep.

All he had was a hatchet. And he didn't use it to kill himself. No, he didn't use it to kill himself. It's hard to get the leverage right to kill yourself with a hatchet like that. Yeah, ask Seth Rich about the box. The loot boxes are, it's, they're bad. Is that the thing that people order where they're, they're like fans of a certain movie or show or whatever? Yeah. And it's like, it's just one of those things you order and you don't know what's inside, but it like has something to do with that show or like. It's full of shit.

But that's what you're talking about. Yeah, there's one just for men. There's one that is full of condescending gifts for what you think a man might need, like a shaving gel and a cod piece that you can wear around. How to book a fishing lures. Just, it's just bullshit. A book of fishing lures.

It's full of bullshit. It's full of bullshit to turn everyone into Dr. Livingston of the 18th century. Oh, check this out. It's a, let me see what the actual ad is. It's a book of razors. A book of razors, razors through the years. A decade by decade look at men's shaving apparel.

It's set up to sell garbage, to sell you garbage all day, every day, and a cycle that is inescapable. The loot crate. Here's your first loot crate. Here's your first loot crate of things a man needs. I don't need any of this shit. Yeah. None of it.

I already have everything I need. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, we're not of soap. That's what I'm gonna need. So let me allude tray of a box full of soap that is just a 12 pack of Irish spring. I don't need a, I don't need a book on pinball machines. I don't need a bowling ball. I don't need to recreate a Norman Rockwell painting

of what a man should be. The advertisements are really fucking around. It's amazing. I don't know how they figure this stuff out, but I think our phones are listening to us. They are listening to us. They're definitely listening to us. Yeah, they're right. I thought it was a total coincidence. Last week, my kitchen sink was running slow, draining slow. So I would ask someone, where do I get liquid blumber? And all of last week, every time I get a little crate for that. Yeah, just a whole shitload of Drain-O, showed up in my front door.

Every time I'd load up a belt, a belt, some overalls, just some fat padding. Yeah, so for a week, every time I'd load up a YouTube video, there would be an advertisement for Drain-O. And I didn't Google Drain-O, I didn't Google any of that. You just say this, and then last night, I went on a date with a girl

and she was talking about her families from Argentina and I said, what was going on? It was real nice 23-year-old real-type body looking great, okay but She said a family from Argentina. I said oh if you ever been and it was just that just just maybe 45 seconds We're talking about visiting Argentina. This morning I wake up. I check my Instagram I check my Instagram and it's just a whole shitload of advertisements to visit Argentina, visit Argentina, come see Argentina, Argentinian food in your neighborhood. And I, I don't know how the fuck it felt, I definitely didn't Google that shit unless I did a really drunk last night when I got home.

No, just listen, you can't escape buying shit. No. Can't escape the corporations, man. Okay, let me put it some. I wanted to talk about the act of shooting drills too. No. Can't escape the corporations, man. Okay, let me put it so. I wanted to talk about the act of shooting drills too. Did you see that? No, there's a recent story on that, or just. I mean, I know they have those.

So, you know how stupid parents are and you know how stupid teachers are, right? Put them together. We've got the worst thinkers on the planet. Parents and teachers. teachers are, right? Put them together. We've got the worst thinkers on the planet, parents, and teachers, the dumbest people, put them together, they're gonna come up with some impressively stupid ideas, right?

So in schools, you have a couple men surrounded by women. So they are able to vocalize the dumbest ideas you have ever. Oh, if you took us, if you took the school administrators of America and you put them in a bar or a situation with other men, they would leave crying because they would never have had proper feedback on how fucking dumb they are. I'm talking about principles, superintendents, like you go into a school and you see these administrators walking around with their chess, chess puffed out like they've just took a halberd in the back. That's

because they spend all of their time around women and have, and internalize that as a thinking that they are, they're the cock of the walk, they're the rooster, they're the rooster in the henhouse, right? So when they have an idea, it does not, it does not suffer near this scrutiny that an idea that you or I have, where there's actual men there to tear it apart, like a corpse of the abortion that it is.

Here's their latest graphic. Yes. During active shooter training, some Indian, they do active shooter trainings in schools now. Yeah. Not fire drills. Well, not earthquake drills. No nuclear.

It's worse than a nuclear drill. No nuclear, that's ridiculous. That's so cold war. What's hiding under your desk gonna do? Well, yeah, but they used to do that. I know, but this is exactly the same. Yeah, sure. What's, yeah.

You remember how fun, farjarls were? Yeah, sure. You had to go fuck around with, play slapstick with your friends, talk to the hot girls and other classes. Yeah, you'd see the to go fuck around with your place slapstick with your friends, talk to the hot girls and other classes. Yeah, you see the other, the stupid girls.

You had all the duds in your class. You know, you've seen these fucking broads. Been hanging around. I tried all my best material on these chicks for three months. I'm not getting anywhere. Nobody appreciates your comedy gold. I'm gonna go try it on.

I'm gonna try my top 10 highlights on these chicks over here. Right, that was the excitement of a fire drill. Mm. Mm. Get to have all kinds of doomsday scenarios planned out and your head, what if the school really was burning, I could go home.

Yeah, you fantasize about all that shit. Yeah, that would be so cool. I know. I would kick, kick my teacher right back in the fire slam the door, whoops! Do you ever have a fire at your school? Anything where you actually had to get out? No, I'm trying to think.

Yeah. In elementary school, the computer lab caught on fire somehow. Whoa. Probably all the machine learning that was going on. Yeah, that's exactly what it was. Too much sesame street. Too much. Try to kill itself.

Try to kill itself. I try to kill itself. I try to kill itself. I try to kill itself. I try to kill itself. I try to kill itself. I try to kill itself. I try to kill itself. Let's learn how to spell. And yeah, I remember it happened at lunchtime. I was in like third grade. And everyone stampeded towards the computer lab to see the shit catch on fire.

Yeah, that's fine. You gotta exactly how it happened. That's it idiots. We had an actual earthquake when we were in school and Mr. Fancy paints, oh no, the two expressed through his calculator in the air. Why? I don't know, he panicked.

You think his calculator in the air? Not funny. No, not funny at all. It would have been, when I saw that, I was like, fuck man, that's a good idea. I'm gonna, if there's an earthquake, next I'm gonna just gonna call back and teach her.

Chalk it at the teach. Hey, fuck you, I'm so just go to the teacher. Shocking at the teacher. Fuck you, I don't stop panicking. And then Mr. Fiancé Pants said straight up and went, oh shit. Yeah. And like seventh grade. Yeah, I know we've had some. I remember obviously living in Southern California or California in general. Yeah, we definitely had some, we definitely had like some tremors, but before we even,

I think before we even got up It probably stopped. Oh, yeah, nobody nobody went under their desk. Yeah, there's not enough time Well, then it was fun. There's man versus nature. Hey, let's all get together and prepare for nature the way God intended Right. It's just like we have any fucking prayer of Surviving a big one or anything that we do. But even in the sense of the fire, talk to those girls like, hey, you know, there was a fire, you know, this is, you might be in trouble. You should sidle up to me and my boys over here.

We know where all the first thing you do is rip your clothes off because you don't want them to catch on fire. I'm talking about kids now, you're a pedophile. I mean, as a kid, that's still, that still makes you a pet file. What if you're a kid talking about another kid, you're imagine you are imagining it though right now. All right, fine, you got me. Yep. Talk to the girls. Oh, this is, I know where all the cinnamon buns are. We'll get you girls. We'll get you girls out of here

safely. If there's a fire, it's nice. It's quaint and fun. Yeah, there's what they're doing now During active shooter training some Indiana teachers were shot execution style. Oh, Jesus. What? They're doing active they're doing active shooter drills. Yeah, instead of fire instead of fires Which happened they're doing instead of fires, which happen. They're doing, there's an active shooter on campus. And they need to do drills for it. Brought to you by the same retards that think kids should sit still all day.

They're now training them. Do you see why people might be upset that schools are teaching about like gays and lesbians and stuff, when they are also having pretend executions of teachers. You think it maybe it maybe at some point it's not the subject matter but just who's teaching it? Yeah, these kids aren't going to need therapy after this like, who are they thinking about? Wait, what in the world is going through their minds?

So they're doing it and just let me give you an idea of what happens in active shooter drills because 80s girls school had, 80s girls school, they dressed up a guy in a giant gingerbread man outfit. Oh my God. Yeah, this is true. Wait, what? This is the drill. This is the drill.

The drill is all the administrators and as I said, these men who don't have to run their ideas by other men, they just get to tell women what to do all day. That's the problem. Every school and I would do the service for free. I will show up and every man at that school who's in charge needs to run his ideas by me, and I will make fun of him for the entire day

of how stupid his idea was. I'll bring all the whole school in, and I'm gonna read all the principles ideas. It'll be an assembly. It'll be an assembly. It'll be an assembly. Right in the gym. It'll be, you could It'll be an assembly. In the gym. Right? In the gym.

It'll be, you could, it'll be so quiet, you hear a pin drop and I'll go through all these ideas one by one, make fun of them until he cries and then go to another school like Kung Fu, the legend continues because we fuck. You cannot have men in this situation where they're surrounded by a young adult women and not have their brains go fucking, they're a more, everyone's single ones at Morton Jell. Yeah.

So they dressed, they dressed a guy up, probably the dumbest, probably the dumbest, most aggressive guy on campus, because who else would participate in this fiasco? The janitor. No. The seventh grade of the guy, he'll back five years.

They dressed him up in a gingerbread man. I don't think they hold kids back anymore. That's a problem. They don't know. That was what no child left behind meant. The man not holding you back anymore. Yeah. Really?

No, I didn't know that. That's somehow worse than the Iraq war. That's some worse thing that Bush did. How you gonna make a dumb fuck learn more? You just kick them out of school. You make them be janitors or whatever. Just put them in vocational school. Yeah, there you go. I mean, teach them how to open a loot box. Yeah, loot.

Pack up a loot box. You're right. Yeah. Let it all though. By the time, except that's going to be like cursive because by the time they're old enough, that skill will be, that will be done by robots. That's a good point. So we really do need that, uh, yang gang. I guess, although not yet. So what? You know what? Yang Yang Yang Yang Yang Yang, the guys running for... It's gonna give you a thousand bucks a month.

Oh, that guy. Oh, okay, that guy. Yeah, I was thinking about that, though. At first, I was all on board, because I'd rather give everybody a thousand bucks than like build them, then build them shit like this. Yeah. School shooting, indoctrination centers. Uh, but then I was thinking, well, thousand bucks, spending a thousand bucks, blowing a thousand bucks a month.

I'll do it. Everybody's, but you got to do that every month, man. That's work. You're going to be on Amazon every month, pouring over reviews of what shit you can buy this month. You gotta be researching stocks and bonds to see how to invest your though, cause if everybody's getting a thousand bucks, it's gonna grow like the value of it is gonna plum it. You're gonna need to invest it to keep your thousand bucks up.

No, you're gonna have to put it into your rent and your food and everything. It's gonna be a huge amount of work. I don't think people understand how much work it would take to blow a thousand dollars a month. That's all I'm saying. I could do that at the bar right now. Then you gotta do that every month, man.

Yeah. Every month. I don't know. Okay. And in addition, see, you already blow, you already blow however much you're gonna blow. Now you gotta stack a thousand bucks on top of that every month. You're right, I don't think my liver could hang.

You skip one month, you gotta drink twice as much the next month. Just have all this money sitting around, what do you do? Or eat twice as much, or buy twice as many video games. You can't possibly play that many video games anyway. It's a good point. Thank you. During active shooter training, some Indiana teachers were shot execution style

with projectiles that caused welts and bleeding according to the Indiana State teachers that part I'm for. It's pretty funny that they would go so far as to use something that would actually, how is that realistic? Like why use anything at all versus a real bullet? Why use real bullets?

Oh, use blanks. Yeah, right? Well, no, my concern is, it's exactly what they get. What, what did they get the chance to do? Why have measures? Did the guy just come in with some guns and say, okay, you get on your knees and it's all right.

Well, as you say, I'm gonna get down on my knees. Now you're gonna shoot me. And so the kids are getting to learn, oh, when a guy with a gun says do something, you do it. And then you just die, because there's nothing you can do about it. Hold on, hold on. They told us, this is what happens if you just cower and do nothing. Yeah.

Okay, that's somehow, again, somehow even worse. You're going to have a bunch of eight year olds rush a gunman if that should happen. I, God damn it. You can't shoot us all boys. Yeah. Well, he can't shoot us all boys. Yeah. Well, he can't shoot you all, but you always 65 pounds. He can kick you into the wall. One of us, one who wanted to remain anonymous

for fear of his job told the Indianapolis car. You're gonna see that quote more and more. I don't know, he has a really good claim for a lawsuit. They shot him. They shot all of us across our backs. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So he's got to go work with, he's got to go work with this guy, right? When the 80s girls school did it, when they dressed up the gingerbread man. Okay, the gingerbread man I have to hear more about. He went door to door. I forget the specifics.

I don't know if I want to give away too many specifics. He was dressed up as a literal gingerbread man. As a fucking gingerbread man. And knocked on the door and said, run, run, run, fast as you can. And hit, get away from me. I'm the gingerbread man. Well that was what pissed me off the most because the gingerbread man is the one who does Crimes and runs away right when you can't catch him. Yeah, right. So how is me? I'm the gingerbread man

How is it that you're a school and you don't understand the core concept of the gingerbread man? One of the most iconic characters you can't catch him. He doesn't catch you. Right. What the, what are you even teaching in this? Confusing you're making this metaphor? It's because he uses cleverness to escape. That's his whole deal.

I thought he was just fast. He's a six foot tall cookie. He's a cookie. He can't be fast. He says, but run run as fast as you can. Yeah, you can't catch me. I'm the gentleman. Cause he's so, cause he's so smart. Well, you think, well, you think a human can't catch that little motherfucker. How fast do you think he could run? Well, I don't know. Depends what he's on. No, it's because he's clever.

And he hides. He's got PDs and stuff. Well, speedy guns. This is a lot smaller than a human, but he can run pretty fast. But he evolved to do, mice can do, mice and Mexicans are very fast. Can you read men aren't fast? They're just men, but small. Well, I don't know. I mean, was it cause he was fast? I don't know. I thought it was,

I thought it was implied because like you, you know, you run, he's telling people to run. I'm assuming that he's just out running them. I never thought much thought of it. No, he's tricking them because he's making it seem like they need to run by telling them in his riddle to run as fast as you can, even though he's thinking if they started, if they were trying to be clever, then they would catch me immediately. So he puts it in their head. Maybe so. Look, you know what he didn't do? What? Shoot it through a school with a BB gun executing

teachers, which is what they're doing now. Yeah, they should have had that guy dress up like the Pied Piper, a hamlet, and like March all the kids away and then start shouting, or Hillary Clinton, like something. Okay. I'm here and a whole time I'm here and I'm like wait a minute. What it's like so they've just ruined that That guy that like those kids can't watch Shrek now because they're just gonna be thinking Traumatized by the gingerbread man. What the fuck is going on? This guy's going room to room with a baby gun executing teachers while I can't use baby guns aren't the same anymore

Why are you turning kids into Rambo? How are they? How do you, you're not gonna know this, you're not gonna know this drill is effective until the kid kills themselves because they got PTSD from it. It is functionally the same. That's no lie.

Yeah. You're putting a lot of fear. You're putting a lot of irrational fears into, I mean, yeah, it's, or until a teacher gets annoying and comes back to school the next day with a 22 and says, hey, remember the yesterday when you shot me four times? Right.

Do you think the fourth was necessary? Yeah. Do you feel lucky, punk? I'm gonna shoot you as many times as you shot me. Let's start. This is the madness. The ISTA, I guess that's the teachers, whatever, address their concerns about these drills

in a series of tweets on Wednesday. The teachers were terrified, but we're told not to tell anyone what happened. Teachers waiting outside that heard the screaming were brought into the room for at a time and the shooting process was repeated. What the fuck? I like to imagine that the principal who thought this up was just hanging out with like a 16 year old nephew and they were both really drunk.

He said, Hey, you know what, you know what, you know what, I fucking hate those teachers. Yeah, look at that. Remember when Mrs. Grannis gave me an F in geometry. Can I get some revenge? Because she hated me, Joe. Can I really have fun? Yeah, because she hated me. Bitch didn't get shot enough.

Yeah. Got a bad grade because the teacher hates me. Remember, remember, remember? But that's true. Dude, that's true. I wrote, I wrote one of my friend's kids' papers and he got a C on it. Yeah.

And there was no, I was a little drunk, but there's no fucking, I got a, every single paper I ever handed in, and a, I wrote his paper because I forget why. I think, did you put any master's and isms in there. No, straight forward is fuck. It was insightful as fuck. I was. My mom used to do the same thing for one of my sisters. Oh, yeah. You'll write the paper and she was really pissed when she got a B on one of them.

She was like they had the parent teacher conferences and she was like, yeah, I mean, she's kind of struggles in this this, but it's like a complete idiot. No, but her papers are really good. Yeah, you know, it's because my mom was writing them. Basically, did she give her a B? On one of them, yeah, she was pissed. Did she go in and fight it? No.

My mom fought a couple grades, it was so embarrassing. Really? Yeah. I always hated that she did that, but you know, how can you not? I could sew the stupid grades and merits. They're so important. Yeah. The whole college scandal thing seems like bullshit to me too for that reason.

Anyway, members are requesting an amendment to, yeah, I got to see. And that was that. It was. Who did you wrote it for somebody who I wrote it for my friend's kid because generally gets bad grades or yes. And the dad wasn't allowed to, the dad made a deal with the kid that they were both like,

they were both grounded until he finished his paper. For some reason they had one of those mutual deals. Oh, well, that guy's bad and go she had it, I don't know. Yeah, that's true. Well, that's a mistake too, because like, you're the parent, right? Yeah, so I said, well, what's the difference?

What's the difference? He's gonna, why would you, yeah, don't keep the kid at the door. I don't know, how do you motivate a kid? They don't have to do shit at some point. So the dad couldn't go out until the kid finishes paper. It's like, all right, I'll fucking write your paper. Let's go.

I wrote it. It was about like industrialization or something like that. I forget what it was. It was good paper. See, see something. I can't, like yeah, this is totally anybody who's ever said that it's not because the teacher

doesn't like you is fucking lying because that is just as good as any paper I ever handed in. And you always got a's on your papers. Yeah, yeah. Members are requesting an amendment to House Bill 1004. The bill focuses on school safety and would provide school-based mental health services.

Oh, I think you guys, I don't know if you guys are qualified to be doing that. Yeah. Yeah. Or social emotional wellness services to, oh God. Ah. Ironies, something a lot of people struggle with. It also requires every school to conduct at least one

active shooter drill a year. Oh my God, we should start doing that during this show. Active shooter, yeah, okay. See if we can get a serious to come back on it. I mean, okay, if they're going to do active shooter drills, then we should probably do active kidnapping drills for the teachers and faculty, right? Yeah, absolutely. In the middle of there, in the middle of the night, put a bag over their head, drag them out of the zip tie their hands, be

preventative that shit right out of their bag them out of the house, throw them in a van, kick the shit out of them, and then make them read, make them read a, make them read like a poorly written book report. And if they deviate, and if they deviate from it, kick their ass again,

like put a gun to their head. God damn it Mrs. McLaughlin, you knew that it said, nuclear, not nuclear. Say nuclear, say nuclear, say it, say nuclear. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. The ISTA says they support the bill as a positive step in addressing root causes of these school-based tragedies.

I don't think that, I wonder what they think school-based tragedies are happening. I think that, I wonder what they think school based tragedies are happening. I bet it's different than what I think. But they want an amendment added to it that would place reasonable limits on these drills. Am I the only one that thinks this is this funny? That they're taking, that you give your kids over to these babysitters and they're pretending

to shoot each other all the time. All right. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny and sad. Taking your kids to the paintball ranch. It's for the learning geography. What'd you learn today?

I learned that this is what happens when you just cower and do nothing. Mr. McBeth cries like a bitch when he gets shut. Isn't ugly cry for you. Yeah. No one in education takes these drills lightly. Oh, my, I've, I've really doubt that. I bet somebody was very eager to be the shooter

because I would be. That's something I know. I know. Yeah. Four times, you say? I ran out of BBs. The risk of harming someone far outweighs whatever added realism, one is trying to convey here.

All right. Comments, booty man. Listening to this makes me sad. In an alternate timeline, this song would get played ironically by Maddox whenever he wins on the biggest problem. You know what song he's talking about? I am the greatest. Yeah, you got it right.

Just this song. I love this. This is my room records. You know what song he's talking about? I am the greatest. Yeah, you got it right. I love this. This is my room records. I'm the greatest. I'm the greatest band in the world. I'm the most stupid little boys and girls. And if you see me coming, you try to get out of my way. I am the greatest, I'm stupid with the divorce and girls. Oh, really well done.

It's good. It's good. My room records. That would have been a good answer to me. Yeah. My Titanic. Yeah. That's the thing, like, join in.

You know, we're all having fun here. Hey, is this too late to the game? Hey, yes, hey, dick. Hey, hey, hey, we're gonna play this song, and I'll get right back with you. Stay in the line, though. Uh, okay. Are we ready? Uh, okay.

I am the greatest. I am the greatest man in the world. I am better, I am better than all those stupid little boys and girls. So close. You see me calling me out. You get so big, you're with me, so close to what I change. I am the greatest. I did that in the track. Yeah.

That's kind of a slam on you though. As an engineer. What? I was stupid little. How's that? Because my thoughts are so big. It's impossible to change. Okay, all right, all right. I believe that he's saying that by looking at the words printed out and reading each one. Sean, you were there. How did it go? No, I mean, say, correct it.

No, no, no, yeah, that's okay. That's the difference of a professional doing something badly on purpose, and an amateur doing something badly on purpose. Right. And an amateur doing something badly to the best of their abilities. Yes. Because I saw a couple people on Reddit talking about how we should have used Maddox's voice because it sounds like shit and it makes it funnier. But it's never funny when somebody does something poorly to the best of their ability. Yeah.

It's just never as funny. It's very unprofessional. Somebody who's great at it, doing something poorly on purpose is very funny. How was it when he came when Maddox came into record? Uh, I mean, it was pretty uneventful, really. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he, you know, he wore, I don't know if I was rolling on everything.

I know I just, you know, was getting level so he was as comfortable as possible and he probably just sang it through a few times and Then it's let's try one. I probably recorded without him knowing So he wouldn't get extra nervous, you know what I mean? Mm-hmm because it's like you know you go, okay, let's do one. It's like oh god This is how I'll be remembered for the rest of my life. Don't rinse up you know it so yeah Don't rinse up. You know, it's so yeah.

All right, we've got too late to the game on what shall I call you my friend? What would you like to be know by too late for the game? That's that's perfect. That's worked. No, that's it. It was in the phone. It was in the phone. All right.

We have you to thank for what is the most beautiful, poignant moment of the show thus far, I think the dick sticker in space. This was your doing? This took a long time. I've been waiting for these photos for many months. Are you calling from space? I was about to ask. No, I'm not calling from space.

I'm calling from Seattle. Oh, Seattle, okay. So yeah, we've got friends. We've got some. Are you calling on a cell phone? It's like a voypline. Okay, let's see how we do this time. All right.

You hear me? All right, how's this? Oh, it's great. I hear you perfectly. It sounds so much better. All right, you were saying, please, how the hell did you pull this off? It's beautiful.

Yeah, let's stick on. There's six, many months to, many months to get the picture back, but last year, I'm not gonna say which month, because this happened a couple of times, and I wanna keep the people who made this happen, anonymous. But I went over to Kazakhstan, middle of Kazakhstan, a big desert and there's a Russian military base and from that military base, a couple of times a year, there's an Uber for American astronauts to go to the International Space Station.

I see it on the super cost $80 million a person. Oh, okay. Did American taxpayer, of course? Yeah. And for $80 million, the Russians using technology that's about 60 years old, gets two people up to the space station that are Americans with russian cosmonaut as the as the as the leader and the uber driver you know same capsule uh... bring them back and that's the way that we've been running the space project for the last uh...

and years well and you say we've been running the space project you you don't want to give out any details as to what you do in the space project. Do you? Oh, I don't do anything. I was just a tourist. I came along for the ride. It was, so some people I know are kind of planning some project in space. And I was, I just came along for the ride. I was just a guest. It came along. It came along.

Technically, we were guests. Go ahead. Yeah, so we were technically guests of the Russian cosmonaut who went up okay, and we were able to smuggle up some souvenirs for that that that went around that went around the earth. Wow, 1000 times. Wow. So

went around the earth 3000 times. Oh man, they could tell you the truth. We don't have times. Wow. So, it went around the earth three thousand times. Oh, man. They could tell you the truth. We don't have the sticker back. So, the sticker might still be up there. A lot of stuff goes up. A lot of stuff goes up.

And some of it is guarded pretty well and comes down and some of it, you know, it may come back, it may even back, but it still might be out there to tell you. It might just be in space. It might be one of the, it just gets stuck in there. So it falls through a little crack, you know, they build a space, it could be under a seat, it could be under a seat like all those quarters.

And somewhere. Oh my God, that's cool. That's really cool. Did you, did you, did the cosmonaut know what you were doing or you were doing this? Totally secretly Well, I think there's it's hard to tell it's hard to tell Well, definitely no, it's just that it's a little sticker. It's a fun little sticker. So of course not You got the Tetris one on there

Tetris one on there. I'll know what it's to about that. He's going on another show later to talk about Tetris. Are you sent this up with a buddy or like? Yeah. So, okay, so let me tell you about it. So we arrive in the middle of the night. So it takes, you have to get to a complex done, which is, I don't know, 15 hours away by plane.

Then there's a two hour plane ride to a small town that was used to get the capital of that country. It's a huge country. And then from there, it's a four hour bus ride to the city. And we enter the city in the middle of the night and they give us this long list of rules. You're only supposed to take pictures when allowed.

Do not go anywhere without the group. And in the very first hour, we start breaking the rules. We essentially go through, we leave our little motel six that cost like 1,000 bucks a night. And we go through some, we go through, we go through some, we go through our strengths, and we can't really actually meet the cosmonaut. Like this is a huge no, no, this is four days

before the launch. He is in quarantine. That's the security. security do not want to go up there or anything to compromise the mission okay and yeah anything's possible I didn't know this is how we're getting our guys into space oh yeah boss out into yeah we've been hitching all kinds of things on Russian rockets and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, but I didn't know where it was, like out in the middle of Kazakhstan. So the reason, so let me tell you, the reason we're at the middle of it. This is where the space program started.

And the reason is that if this little plan fails, if little cast of the small rocket doesn't go all the way up it has to come back it has to fall down or it has to just fall down somewhere and it's best to do it over a big flat piece of land yeah rather than the ocean so that's why it's very very far away from from anything uh... so the the american astronauts were there too, then, that the cosmonaut was taking up?

Yes, there's three of them. And you can see in one of the pictures, I sent you, it's a really tiny capsule that you fed three people in. Yes, it's two Americans in a rush on. And Dick, to tell you the truth, this is going to be probably one of the last times that this thing is happening because the Americans are finally going to launch through SpaceX and Blue Origin.

They're going to finally use the American company. Those are scam. They don't even have rockets. That's all CG. How long do we have to be in business for a long time? How embarrassing, too. How embarrassing. Like, bum and rides from cosmonauts.

Yeah, they don't even use the right word. Yeah. Sandeer Old Rockets. So wait, this picture you sent, this is the capsule that they are in when they got sent up. Yeah, so this little capsule and another compartment that they, that falls like most of this just burns up. Yeah.

So they come back in the, so there's a picture of it uh... and you can actually eliminate in the in the photo of the sticker but but uh... most of it so just the middle section that's that looks that's the brown section that's the one that comes back and that's the fifty-year-old technology that has uh... has been very successful um... well i say very successful in this past year after dick after you got into space one of these little things that a hole in it on the next launch and then uh... in

october it didn't go up so they actually that if that's a board mission and then these three guys you know plummeted back to earth thankfully thanks for the uh... safe but yeah this program is uh... all the shit in english on the inside of that capsule. They know what's paying vacuum. Yeah, the Russian vacuum line cover. $1 million. Are you Russian too late to the game? I am. Yeah. You are wearing a well, I can't, I imagine you don't want to answer any personal questions, right? Yeah. Doesn't sound like he has any kind of an accent. Yeah. I mean, I've been here since I was a kid. Yeah.

Gotcha. Yeah. He says, yeah, been here since I was a kid, yeah. Gotcha. Yeah. He says, yeah, like a Russian. Really? Yeah. Everybody says like they're, yeah, and knows they keep does forever. Yeah. So this brown thing is the one that came back down, the one with all the expensive looking shit coming out of it.

God, it does look like it's from the 60s. Well, yeah, and they haven't, they changed it a little bit, but they have it. They still launched this rocket using a big wooden match. That's one of the things I learned on this trip. A big wooden match. Make sure they all they all launched. Yeah, the belt and rocket fire at the same time. It's ridiculous.

Wait, wait, say that again. They you wouldn't say that again about them. Wouldn't match. So one of the one of the things that's very important is that the big rockets. Yeah, light up at the same time. And so there's any problem, you, well, so simpletaining a sludge is very important. And apparently, some really, some really ancient mechanism that they devised to devise to actually launch the thing, still works to this day in order to have consistency and reliability. A big wooden birch wooden match is definitely something good. Well, they're lighting these rockets with a giant piece of wood.

There's some big guy in Spandex coming out carrying this giant thing and like striking it like Wow, man, this is incredible. How the hell did you get somebody to take a picture of this? Yeah, so this is this is the favorite that the cosmonaut does that he takes pictures of the stuff in space Yeah, absolutely for that email To tell you know to claim it, but it's another thing to see, you know, a photo of something weight, you know, in microgravity up there. Yeah. With the earth in the background. So, um, can you tell us what's on the other side of this laminate? Is there a maddox sticker on the other side something like that well not into doing the matter to show it's not still but yeah

I'm not sure what it is I'm not sure what it is but if we get it back if we get it back I'll try to get you the sticker so yeah tell them to check under the chairs up there check out in space maybe they left it behind maybe Maybe a cut. Where else do you lose papers? Sean, maybe they sent it to the wrong earth. Maybe they sent it to another planet on accident. Yeah. This is incredible, man. Thank you. That is so cool. I'm just staring at it. I had goose bumps for probably two days. I was walking around with goose bumps after you sent me the picture the first time. And I was making a, I was making a muppet face

for like an hour. A wide open soy mouth smile. This is how happy those guys are always pretending to be. Aaaaah! What makes you a rage? What makes me a rage? Out of medical list of countries in check out online, in online stores. Yeah.

Fuck sake, like, do you still, are you going to ship to Afghanistan or Albania? Yeah. If I buy this from you, why in 2019, I have to actively scroll through, to indicate that I'm not in Azerbaijan or Austria. Yeah, it should be if you have a nuke or not, you're on top. through syndicate that I'm not in Azerbaijan or Austria. Yeah, it should be if you have a nuke or not, you're on top. So we all know who's got those. Yeah, by most popular or most used. Yeah. And then if if you click on any of the other ones,

it just sends you to an immigration form, you can leave wherever the hell you are. Yeah, that's it. And you never know which one it's gonna be either. Like, they don't warn you when you click on it, and all of a sudden, oh, come on. Is it gonna be America? Is it gonna be United States? Look at all these things.

I have a friend from Isaac and my job, but he would never ship anything there. No. Of course not. I have noticed... There's a lot of complaints about merch that gets lost. Yeah going to Russia and they never seem to care It's like yes stuff gets lost. That's all right and send it again. All right You got it you got to make sure to send something to Russia to really playing packaging and nothing nothing

Nothing stands out because yeah, cuz I'll just pull it off and nothing stands out because yeah. Oh, because they'll just pull it off and keep it for themselves. Yeah. So are you involved in, I mean, are you primarily involved in space travel? Are you going to, like, are you going to get involved in the new stuff, space acts or whatnot over here? Is this ancillary to what you usually do? So, no, I'm not in a field at all.

I'm an attorney and I have an e-commerce business. I don't think the government should be involved in space at all. I think this is not a good use of our Jackson. It's really fun to answer. Yeah, it's incredible. Shit, man. I don't wanna ask anything, because I don't wanna give you away. You know what I mean?

But this is awesome. I really appreciate it. I'll start here. Come back to Pacific Northwest and I'll hang out some of. Oh, is that where you're at? Yeah, we'll do road rage up there. All right, man, thank you very much.

Good. I hope they find it. That did. Oh, that's really incredible. Yeah, you're good, we'll do road rage up there. All right, man. Thank you very much. Yeah, I hope I hope they find it. That did. Oh, that's really incredible. Yeah, it'll be great. All right, dude, take it easy. Right. What a hero. What a hero.

I feel like a spy. I want to get too much into his personal details. What if somebody figures it out? I don't know. Sending up stickers in the space. We can't have them all. All I can think of now is that episode of The Simpsons where Frank Grimes comes over to Homer's house You've been to space you've been to space. Oh, you've never been

All right, I'm gonna read some of these comments We are sin I got a bubble in my throat during a job interview. Guess who didn't get the job. Yeah, that's true. Derek Gooleh says just now listening the last week's episode and Sean's comments about Jewish mass shooters. Everyone is capable of it. And then he's got a link to a Jewish mass shooter. Oh, really? I'm sure it's happened. Barack, couple goldstein. Huh? Barack, couple gold. Oh really? I'm sure it's happened. Barack Coppall Goldstein. Barack Coppall Goldster-Rush. I don't know how you pronounce this. I thought it was a bell.

No, I'm sure it's happened. Was an American Israeli physician, religious extremists and mass murderer perpetrated the 1994 cave of the patriarch's massacre in Hebron, killing 29 Palestinian Muslim worshipers and wounding another 125 Jesus, that was what a busy guy He was beaten to death by survivors

They should have been doing their drills I'm gonna reload it. So what happened? You don't do those drills man Sneak up on you and you snider Midwest veterinarian here, 100% confirmed the vaccine spillover into vet med. I had a mother ask me of vaccinating the new kitten was gonna potentially give her daughter autism. From the cat? Or was she referring to the cat as her daughter? No.

No, she think, oh my God, that's all I'm. I don't know which one's dumber. When all I could muster to respond was, no, it should be safe. She followed with, are you sure? She pets the kitten a lot. Oh my god. Ha, ha, ha.

Oh. I think I could sell like a Furby that prevents autism. Oh no, excuse me. Yeah. So to make it legal, it would be a doll that you pet that removes any autism causing effects of vaccines, right? That's accurate.

It sounds accurate. They don't cause autism. So, well, you're saying that it actively removes it. Any potential, right, but even if there's nothing there to remove, you still can't remove it. I have a tiger repelling, yeah, for you. Right, you have the tiger repelling break, but it's actually repelling the tigers, right? Well, but they're not getting attacked by tigers.

Yeah, I haven't. You're right. Sue me. I mean, that's the problem. That's what's going to happen. I haven't, you're right. Sue me. I mean, that's the problem. That's what's gonna happen. Then they're gonna have to prove that it didn't counter act the effects of the autism vaccine though.

I'm not sure that's how the burden of proof would be in that situation. Keon, what do you know? That's a good point. What do you know about autism? The rules of change. What do you know about scams? Nothing.

You're not in space. Nothing you have is in space. Well, somebody like that, you could sell anything to. Yeah. Another insider tidbit that you and Sean may find interesting is that most veterinarians euthanize significantly more animals heading into holidays. I don't know if that's interesting. Thanks, giving and Christmas are notorious for it, but Easter isn't great.

So that, so the animals animals don't die on Christmas. Is that why they're like, there'd be so. I put down two to five pets a week on average, but the week heading into Christmas, I've dropped five to seven per day. It has the outside benefit of justifying my substance abuse problems to my wife, but it can be depressing. Not even one of those St. Francis' save all creatures, great and small, motherfuckers, but it doesn't surprise me our profession recently past dentists to claim the largest subset

of healthcare professionals who book a 3, 737 Max to Greenland Award. Oh, that's the new, kill themselves. I knew dentists killed themselves a lot. Why? Are teeth that depressing? Why did dentists keep doing this? No one hates them.

Yeah, and because they cause people pain, like that depressing? Why did that just keep people? No, it just hates them. Yeah, and because they cause people pain. Like that's the, they're just, yeah. Nobody loves going over it. It's because they're attention horses. Okay, yeah. Every dentist I've ever met is, oh, look at my practice.

Look, I put my name on my pens. Look at my Instagram. You wanna see these, but you wanna, look at these pictures of your teeth. It's all me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. That's why all dentists are, there's such attention horrors and the biggest way to soak that attention horrors to kill yourself. Just OD on that Nova K.

Yeah, they all do it. Anelgesic tooth job. And then they say, oh, it's got job so hard because everyone hates that. Like, oh, yeah. Wawawawaw stab, why don't you stop employing those cuts that stab your gums? You know what I mean? Yeah, the hygienists. Yeah, you hate hygienists.

How about you stop talking to me while you have fucking metal in my mouth that hurts when I try to talk and move my gums. And maybe I won't hate you so much. We can have a nice conversation when you're not causing me physical pain when I try to respond to what they can understand though, because they're so used to people talking with shit in their mouth. Yeah, they can there was a dentist that deciphered what the Charlie Brown, wow, wow, was saying. It's

all. Yeah, it's all about Hitler. That's right. And had to go edit it out all the. Stop asking me if I floss too. I don't know. Do you work out? Because you look fat as shit. You got any more brain busters? Fuck teeth, man. Fuck teeth. I mean, bananas and mashed potatoes are the rest of my life. I warp, says the news babe was the kind of lady who could make me jizz just by looking at me. How about that? That's a pretty nice compliment. Yeah, that's right.

It's the most dickhead of all compliments. Hey dick, Pontiac Grand Ames had everything you dreamed of in a wiper control. That baby slides. He sent me a picture as well. Look at this shit. This is what the Pontiac Grand, look, it's a slider for your windshield wipers. Yeah.

It's like a, huh? It's almost variable. Yeah. I just need a dead man trigger. I need a motorcycle lever on it. And you set more about Erica. She was good news girl. She was great. When

Keon came in, I had to point the camera up a foot. Yeah. That shorter. No. Oh, nice. Hey, dick, about the advice email from last week from the guy who recently started dating his best friend, maybe I can throw in my two cents, as my previous relationship was a needy, was with a needy, mean, spythell, sullen cunt, just like that.

Remember that guy with the six page? You're a horrible woman. Email on how to date, how to leave his girlfriend? Right. Who's gonna marry him? Who's gonna convince? You have vagus and may or whatever. Dude, you gotta send us an update on that too, by the way.

My ex was perpetually moody and mean and ugly. He says that. Oh. The dog face on this bitch. Jesus. Okay. I was also stupid enough to move in with the miserable bitch. Geez.

I made several unsuccessful attempts to break up with her because she would always take out her mental issues on me. Yeah. Wow. Never heard that. The old promise of all Get Help, all change. I'll go to the doctor is bullshit. She said it every time and nothing changed. She once sat under a cold shower and started cutting herself because I told her I was sick of her being, I was sick of being her emotional punching bag. That's when you gotta put up,

cue the crying game up on your phone and slide it under the door. There, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there. Finally, the thing that finished it, was when we were at my stupid, slob girlfriends mandatory, pity birthday party at the local

pub. I hope he talks like this in real life. I hope he talks like this to her and that's why she's depressed cutting herself. Six adjectives. Party at a local pub and bumped into a girl I used to go to university with who happened to be God damn gorgeous. The uni friend had to leave. And I messaged her saying she looked great. That's a weird move. Later that night when I got home, my mess of a girlfriend found the message, started a big argument, and it ultimately ended with us breaking up,

thank the Lord. She made the whole thing a pain in the ass and stole a bunch of my shit. But at the end of the day, I got her out of my life, and I was all the better for it. So my message to this guy is try as hard as possible to get caught trying to cheat.

What? What? What? That's gonna be easy and vagus. Just gonna hook her. Well, no, well, then you've got, okay, then you've got another crazy bitch on your hands. Yeah, but she goes away when you give her 150 bucks.

They never go away. Take those hookers. They're not running a legitimate business there. They're doing something different. Just by all appearances of the contrary. Yeah. Works great for me. Let them threaten self harm as much as they want.

Fuck them off and look out for number one, buddy. Cheers. Come see it. Road rage Sydney. All right. I got number one buddy. Cheers. Let's see it. Road rage Sydney. Yeah. All right. I got another one about it too. Hey, Deck, been in a relationship six years with a woman who is visiting on a student visa. Nice cans. No rules in bed. She was nearly worth it until we got this this morning. Oh, you got this too. Yeah. Yeah. Last year has been me trying to get out of the relationship without her filling her promise to go to Greenland. Man, women love. Like maybe every hostage, hostage taking. I'm telling you,

10% of women belong in prison. 10% of women out there belong in fucking prison for the way they behave, but their crimes cannot be codified, so they get away with it. One out of 10, straight to fucking jail. They're just as dangerous as the guys in there. Oh, I don't know that. No, that's actually something that I've been saying for a long time, like the reason that now you know what you're talking about again. Yeah. Now I know what I'm talking about again because I'm not very good.. I'm not scared of it. The reason I'm sure. Hell was that.

That's what I do when I don't know what I'm saying. Oh, no, no, no, you always do. Oh, thank you. What I've been saying for years is that the reason that women are diagnosed like 90% is having, or 90% of people who are diagnosed with borderline personality disorder or women, is it because guys who act that way either go to prison or get killed by other guys?

But that doesn't happen to women because that's okay, just them acting out. That's really interesting. Yeah. Oh yeah. Maybe 10% is too low. I think it might should be 90%. Well, now you're getting into Sharia territory there.

Oh, dang. Uh, I have lost a girlfriend to Greenland's landscapes and Lush Paradise when I was younger. She knows that. Aw, that sucks. I finally manned up and bit the bullet. She slid her wrists and told me. So I called Triple Zero, which is 9-1-1, I guess.

It seems like it'd be, let's not as fun to say, Triple Zero. No, 9-1-1. That sounds like you're giving up, Triple Zero. Yeah. I do that though if there's an opera, I get too much phone tree shit. Yeah.

This person is press zero, 50 times. So I called 9-1-1 and she got commuted to hospital. She's in there right now. Oh, and even though I have not seen her in months, is telling me not to worry, because the police that helped her gave her the contact for domestic abuse groups here in Australia.

So she's telling all kinds of stories. Yeah, that's a threat. That's what we call a threat. Yeah, that really is. Don't worry about me. I've reported you for domestic abuse. Yeah. Oh, okay.

It feels like a threat. Yeah, I don't know. I haven't done many threat drills. Now the threat or drills. Now the funny thing is she has gotten drunk and punched me multiple times in anger and even admitted it in chat. People don't care.

So tonight I get a call from a shrink at the hospital. Uh-oh. Which is necessarily the dumbest shrink there is because they could and survive in the private marketplace. Yeah, it could be. Uh-huh. Who sounds rather young and attractive. Oh, they never sound, they can't sound it.

Then you say that. What was that you and you're like, oh, you sound attractive. Was that you that was saying that? Or was somebody else? Oh, maybe. Somebody on the show said so, track. Asking questions about me and her, only problem is she has spent over a day talking to her. So every time she asked me something,

and I answer, I get the following answers. Hmm, okay. Yeah, that doesn't sound like her. Oh, yeah. Oh, Jesus. You know, bitch. Yeah, yeah. That's social worker, man.

No, yeah. Or the worst one. She asks, is she seeming depressed or just angry? I said, well, kind of both depending on the situation. Who even asks that? I don't know. Oh, is your wife feeling depressed or angry? What the hell? Isn't your job to be a psychologist here? Why do you tell me? Have you got any air today? Yeah. She says, oh, well, that doesn't happen.? Have you got any air today? Yeah. She says, oh, well, that doesn't happen.

Wow, you would totally have to explain it to me. Oh my God. What the fuck? Listen, bitch, she is always sad and saying she shouldn't exist when I try and help her. She gets angry at me saying that I don't know her or understand. So what makes me a rage is young shrinks who get the story from their client

and never change their mind. Also, probably should mention, this chick I'm talking about is Latina visiting as a nearly 30 year old student. I don't know what that would have to do with anything. Do you? Not off the top of my head. No. Anyone that she's a Latina. Well, that wouldn't have to do anything to do with anything. Sean, that's the correct answer. If I had irrational emotions out there, unlike that news, babe, who said, what did she say about Mexicans? They go, they got rancid. That's not even the sound.

That's so racist. If I, Avis Girl said that they do do that all the time, you're wrong too. Although, maybe she was just trying to look, you don't know what you're talking about again. Uh-huh. If I have to deal with one more argument that is shouted between claps, I'll fucking go kill myself. Is that what Mexican women do?

Shout-out between claps. Yeah. How dare you do that to me? I don't know. I don't know. Dick, you're doing it wrong. It's like this. Oh. Really? And it's not it wrong. It's like this. Oh, really?

And it's not Mexican women. So like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's a Mexican women like, everyone in this room is Mexican, except for Sean. Like growing up in America, there's no way they actually do that in Mexico City. Oh, why do you think they learned that when they crossed the border? Yes, they learned border. They suddenly learn how to be, you know, they're from the MTV. No, they're already huge guns. They're already huge guns.

They're already huge guns. I have never seen someone talking in Spanish like this. I bet they do that in Mexico. They might. We got some shooters in Mexico. We can, guys, and dummy pesos. What is today? Oh, man.

Can you imagine a woman arguing like that? No, God, how annoying would that be? I want to go see the Jungle Book live. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 13 now, I'm 30 for reference. Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man, oh, man. I don't need some chick running in and trying to fuck my life up. All chats are saved and sent to a third party, but I'm sure I will lose my job to this shit. She is made up by a chick. You got to immediately press charges on it then. Why, why wait? Why wait? What, what are you, can you even tell them what to do? I don't know where he is. Australia.

Yeah, I don't know anything about that. Dodging bullets. Dodging those saltwater crocodiles. I don't know what they're doing over there. Well, if this was in America, what would somebody do? You got a psycho on your hands. I mean, I wouldn't give advice on you. You would give advice on not on the internet. Okay. First of all, you got to immediately

file, you got to immediately go to the police and file something ahead of her. So her is looks like it's retaliation for years. Otherwise, yours is going to look like retaliation and no one will believe it. Anyway, sorry for this long email, it's probably shit. Sean, your constant advice has helped me in more ways than you could know. Oh, what a poor judge of what is good advice. You poor bastard. In more ways than you could know,

that sounds like a marriage vow. You know, you've helped me in more ways than you could know. Dick, your straightforward approach to life has helped me greatly to finally pull the trigger on this. If I have not been fucked, me, to overbulshit that doesn't exist, I would love to grab a drink with both of you. Coke is fine, Sean, in Sydney.

I got stories of crazy chicks for days. Seems my last many girlfriends have been strippers or turned into strippers or working girls after we dated. Cheers. P.S. Dick, your D&D miniature is 90% done. Sean yours is next. Wanted to get a third out. So if 80s girls want one, let me know.

Cool. So let me know how I can get them to you and Sydney or at least show them to you in the ship. Yeah, we'll do that. Yeah, I think you got to get you got to get them before they get you, right? I mean Bitch, I'm gonna stop. No, if they're willing. She's killed the crazy. Yeah, I'm gonna do anything Oh, this is the Kiwi killer song. I think this is written for how appropriate Here's the greatest man in the world clown world remix. Let's see what that's all about

DJ big brain I am the greatest I am the greatest man in the world Boy, I am the best Boy, I am the best man in the world Boy, I am the best man in the world Boy, I am the best man in the world Boy, I am the best man in the world Boy, I am the best man in the world Boy, I am the best man in the world That's stupid one, the same for his mention itself.

Oh God, you see me, you better get out of my way. Because my father's so big. There are moments of missing possible to gain. Way to go. I don't know. All right, all right, all right. God, that's fun. Very good.

That's funny. Thank you. Somebody did a pub sing along, but I can't find it. Does anybody who's listening know where that is? The greatest man in the world pub sing along? You mean like they got them gonna live. Oh God, that's awesome. I can't find it.

I'll tell him to call in now. I gotta take a piss. Oh, go ahead. Yeah, me too. But go ahead, everybody. Me too. Go ahead. Oh, of course.

This way everybody leaves. That's fine. Christopher, how are you? How are you? Good, I can hear you. Let me, how can I help you today? Well, I wanted to call in. I don't know. I'm not trying to be confrontation or anything like that, but I felt that in our last session, I thought you were quite rude to me and I'm just wondering what you thought of. Let me read, let me read your email just so I can get some context. Basically, I want to talk about on the show, I felt that you were very rude to me at the end of the dating my cousin episode. And if possible, I would like an apology. And Rachel is not a nice person. She was rude to me.

Remember saying she hated me on discord. And my password was stolen by Gabe on discord. And my eBay and Yahoo was broken into. This isn't acceptable. I would like to remind you if you give me any rudest. What the fuck? Read. It says rudist.

That was a Taipei rudeness. It says, I won't give you any rudist though. And if I'm not treated with courtesy, I will hang up. What do you mean your password was stolen? Yeah, it was stolen. I was using Discord and I wanted to close my camp down because I was given a really hard time and I just wanted to close it. Yeah, that's a guy.

The guy he was a moderator of Discord. I don't know if it was gay, but he asked me for my password and I shouldn't have done it and I gave it to him. I was gullible so that's how my my my cancer of pregnancy. Well did you get your accounts back at least? Well I didn't actually want it. I just wanted to close my accounts down. So what about all your other accounts? You probably used the same password for everything, I assume. Yeah, that was probably my downfall. I think it was more than one person behind it, but I think they wanted to gain access to

the accounts because they wanted to know how I spent my money. I think that probably a bit jealous because maybe they wanted to... But... The way they think, you think they're jealous of you? Yeah. Why? I don't know, they, but they just, they wanted to prove that I didn't need to have a go fund me.

Like, I don't need to have a go fund me like I don't need to go fund me just to waste a time like but I pray that I pray that I pray that I pray that I pray that I pray that I don't need to go fund me goals. I know you were looking for like half a million dollars so you could get a house. Well no I just closed it down it was a bit of a it was it was a waste of time it was a joke it was a joke really so I just wasn't really needed. We did everyone thought it was a joke of a it was it was a waste of time. It was a joke. It was a joke really so I just Might really need it. We did everyone thought it was a joke. That's good Now wait a minute. What do you mean you thought I was rude to you at the end of the dating your cousin episode?

Well, I thought you said that I was freaking you out. I don't think you were particularly nice to me I thought I was extremely nice to you. Actually, I gave you good advice. Well, it's just the way you came across it was all. Well, what did you want me to say? I said, don't message, don't try to have a sexual relationship with your cousin, don't message her, because she's not into it.

Please, please. Sound of noise. Yeah. That was what I said. What's wrong with that? But you said, I don't know. I don't really want to keep on going on about it. But you said that in your email.

You want an apology because I was rude and not to give you any more rudest. I'm not going to give you an apology. You didn't agree with me anyway. You're not going to give me an apology. So this't agree with me anyway, you're not gonna give me an apology. So this is the way Satan talking about it really. Okay. Did you stop talking to your cousin? Uh oh.

Say that again. I didn't really be messaged. You're breaking up. I was walking. Yeah, stop walking around. You're in a shitty reception spot. Can you hear me? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, repeat everything you said. I just, I didn't actually contact there anyway. I was thinking about contacting you, but I just saw the not too. Okay, good. In a way, I was thinking about contacting you, but I just saw the knot too. Okay, good. Yeah, good. In a way, I did take your advice, but in the way that I meant it, you took it.

Yeah. 100% knot in a way. Any time we not to talk to Dr. Rachel, is that correct? I did, absolutely. Don't talk to Dr. Rachel either. Hey, I just wanted to say, I think you're a bit of a cack. You're a b of a cuck. I'm a cop.

I've been in space, mother fucker. Where have you been? You're stuck in a government subsidized housing. There's a big, big, nice, nice, be nice. Don't be rude. What am I? Why am I a cop? I should go to a colony. Why am I a cop? Hey, why do you want to stick out for that bit? Shoot you, eh? I don't want either of you talking to each other. Yeah. Because you report each other. She's calling the cops on you. You're calling the nursing board on her.

It's stupid. You can do big ways to time. But she was lying though. She was lying about what she was doing. No, she was. How? But she was lying though. She was lying about what she was doing. No, it just how. Because I found that later on it was all a lie. I went to the police station.

I said, hey, has this person been, has this person been cucking on me? And they said no. You went to the police station and asked if a person has been cucking on you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's a general matter, I would. You went to the police station and asked if a person has been cucking on you. Yes, it's a general matter. I would.

What did they say? They said that they said this person has the matter of the claim made it. The second claim made it complain. Okay. They said they said there was no complaint. So she was, she was absolutely downright. Okay. Okay. Well, that's good.

Good. Good. They're not coming after you. Good. A big waste ofright. Okay. All right, well that's good. Good, good. They're not coming after you, good. Big waste of time, good. But though you've got to, you threaten a lot of people. You admit, you have to admit, you've threatened a lot of people. Didn't you go to court for it? It's too hard to explain.

I don't know, it's just too complicated. So yes. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Are you on probation? Are you allowed to use the internet right now? Yeah, I can I can use internet. When did that end but but what I will say is I think and I could be wrong. I think that

Dr. Rachel She drinks a lot of soy milk What I think she's a she drinks a lot of soy milk. What, I think she's a soy bitch. Did you know what a soy, have you heard of a two of soy bitch before? To men, I think you just coined it. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?

What's going on over there? Are you beating off over there? What are you talking about? Are you beating off, are you pleasureing yourself sexually while you're in there? You're making a lot of weird noises. Yeah. No. Yeah. So I calling someone a soy bitch is usually reserved for men. No, but it can be a resort reserved for females because they love soy and the soy milk. The soy milk makes them really rage. It makes them like Dr. Jackal or Mr. Hyde. Oh yeah.

Wait, you think soy? You don't have to put soy. It's in a legal pleating, right? People who drink soy are women. Yeah, that's true. You think women drink... It's got... Because soy milk has got estrogen that it's it makes some really angry estrogen makes women angry

Yeah, you know hopped up on estrogen. Oh, but wait, weren't you also saying the vaccines Incidents involving women were caused by excessive sex of consumption of soy milk. Don't you also think that that vaccines cause autism though? Yeah, that's correct. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if you're biology is really. Sounds pretty medically sound to me. Hey, do you think that vaccines cause autism in dogs cats and dogs? I don't know because.

But do you use vaccines and animals, but I think vaccines are bad for everything, including animals and humans. Are they bad for polio? Yeah. Say that again. Are vaccines bad for polio? You're speaking with Keon, a very lovely woman who's in the studio.

I'm sorry, my voice is a little deep, I didn't have my soy milk this morning. Yeah. It does cause polio, but I'll just call you. I'll just call you. I'll just call you. He's right. Hmm, kind of. In a manner of speaking.

Yeah. That's true. All right. Hey, do you think that the good, go ahead. But I can tell you, I can tell you for sure that my brother, he had a flu vaccine and it made him get the flu. Well, yeah, that's what vaccines do, man. You get a vaccine, it's a very weakened,

it's a very cucked version of the illness, that your body fights, that your body learns how to fight it off and then your body knows how to fight it off forever. That's what a vaccine is. Hey, I was listening to your... Did you hear what he said? Did you understand what a vaccine is? Don't make me do an active shooter drill while here in school. Do you understand what a vaccine is?

Yeah, okay, go ahead. What were you gonna say? I was gonna say I heard you were episode about the Christchurch shooting. And did you do one about the Christchurch? Whatever the mosque or whatever? It's a mosque. How close do you live to the Christchurch mosque? No, I'm asking you to do an episode. Did you do an episode of the Christchurch mosque? Or because I did actually hear a clip of your...

Yeah, I talked about it. Christchurch, is that right? Yeah. Where do you live? Do you live Australia? Do you live in New Zealand? Do you know what I think? I'll tell you what I think the the shooting was a staged event. Okay. The shooting was a staged event. Yeah. I've heard people say that. Why do you think that? Yeah.

Chucks out. It was because they want to introduce gun laws. That's all. Yeah. I reckon I reckon it was a cop set did it you think the cops did it Yeah, do you live in New Zealand or Australia Australia? Okay, you think that the cops did it. What about the video? It's a new world older conspiracy Yeah, Chris excuse me. This is key on the attractive woman here again. I have a question for you. Are you the Ramel? Are you?

No, he's not the Ramel. You're not a character. No. No. Okay. What would you say if I said it definitely wasn't a hoax that it was real and a guy really killed all those people? No, I reckon it was there was definitely something bad sinister about it because the guy who

got accused he was a patsy, he didn't actually do it, that's my personal opinion. He reckons. He reckons it. What's that based on well I mean clearly what's on the stream something in a hardcore Henry point of view yeah he's clearly not doing it what do you believe do you think that the earth is flat or round so do you know what a pet's ears no what is it a person a person who gets holesy accused, a vulnerable person gets holesy accused of a crime like a shooting or and he got holesy accused of it. So that's my personal belief.

Do you think that could happen to someone like you? Like what have you got framed for something like that? I could get framed for something like that. Yeah. Well, because you've got you've got a history of violence and court convictions and problems. And cutting people's figures off. Yeah. All right. I mean, do you have a history of that? Yeah. Do you think that the world is round or flat? I reckon it's round. You think it's round? Hmm. What do you say to me? That they are slay there for us? Yes.. What do you say to me that they are slay-to-fizz? Yes. Do you not know that? There are people who think that the earth is flat. You just called them by their name. Yeah.

Yeah. You don't agree with them? And there's probably a lot of people who cat people's figures off of the most tickled jazz. They're probably are, yeah. What if you gave the Earth a vaccine? What if you'd get the current state of affairs? What did turn flat? Does anybody in the chat want to talk to Christopher? Oh, you're calling him a Skype.

Fuck. You can't, they can't talk to you because you're in discord. Let me see if anybody wants to talk to you. If there's going to be more apologies coming. Yeah. Anybody? Disco, hey, Disco is for cucks. Yeah, yeah. I don't think you know what cucks are really though, but I'm not the one to talk to you. Maddix, Maddix is a cuck. Maddix is a cuck. That's, you know what they always them. Wisdom. Hey, are there any

beautiful ladies in your studio at the moment? There's a line right here. There's one right now. We've been talking. You haven't made one pass at me. I'm actually kind of offended. What if you show them your fingers? All right, look, if you're in the, if you're in the you have to, you'll have to shine with the, if you're in the discord and you want to get on this call, give me your Skype name in the discord. Don't tell me how to make a fucking call, slip and Jimmy. I'm working with a very limited palette here. Just post your Skype name in the, in the discord, not you, not you. I'm talking to other people who are listening. Don't give anybody your passwords. Don't get, Chris, don't give anybody your passwords you don't get christ don't give anybody your passwords again and you've stopped talking

to dr. Rachel right i don't want to uh... one of the key one has to go uh... you're gonna you're a cac what do you what do you believe that the chinny why she's dangerous i mean you believe that she's a nice person i mean i don't really care if she's a nice person. I know that you've threatened to harm people on the internet and that you were banned from the internet. I just laughing, I just like laughing at Dr. Rachel.

That's quite entertaining. All right, okay. I guess nobody wants to call in. All right, Chris, thanks for the update. I'm glad you stopped talking to your cousin. Do you still talk to the woman in Texas? I decided to stop talking to Angie, stopped talking to me.

She didn't even write me back and thank me for the Christmas card I sent it. Oh. Did it have any like severed human parts in it? No. Actually, I'm gonna write to, I'm gonna say, please don't include any severed human parts

No, I was say hey you didn't think for the Christmas card, but I told you that I'll start writing to it because I I didn't Nobody they're complaining about Skype. Do you guys not understand what's going on here? How they all like oh, yeah, we really want to talk to them, but I don't want to use this other, you know, just move everything over. Yeah, I did actually think you were really rude to me at the last episode. Yeah, but then you said, you did what I told you to do. So you took the advice.

Yeah, sometimes you just need to hear it. But you said that I was freaking you out. How was I freaking you out? Because you're a weirdo. Like you say the same thing over and over. You laugh and giggle about cutting people's fingers off. Hey, wait, there's a song. Somebody made a song for you, Chris.

Do you want to listen to it? Okay. Here. I don't know if you can hear this though. I hope so. Yeah, I think he can. Ethan Cantrell made this. It's called the tall tale of the killer Kiwi.

Here you go. This is the story of a sad little Kiwi and how he was I've been from the world. Are you there? Yeah, who's this? Can I have something? It's cute as Chris. Well hold on, you're interrupting the song. What do you want to ask?

You know how you make images and characters on those on your Facebook. You know how you photoshop images of each of your episodes. Yeah. Well, can you make an image of me and I can put it on my Facebook profile? Done. Yeah, sure. There's one right here.

We're looking at one right here. Someone already made it. It's cool. You're like a painter or something. You have a painter's apron on. I don't know if that's what that is. There's a bunch of paint smears all over. It's in black and white. It's cool. And when was that made? I don't know if that's what that is. There's a bunch of paint smears all over it. It's in black and white.

It's cool. And when was that made? I don't know. What does that matter? Because I want to put it on my Facebook. Are you able to see me doing this? Well, so what if it's too old? You're not going to use it?

Hold on. I'll send it to you right now. I could hear it. I could hear a female in the background. Yeah. Yeah, that was me. And can you say, can you, can you, can you, can you say, how can you, can you hear women?

Like, can you hear them menstruating? You hear them? Yeah, they're heartbeat. So you hear them like miles away or what? I mean, our heartbeat. I could hear someone in the background. I could hear some gig. Yeah. Yeah. Here's some gig. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to put this image that somebody made a kiss on the live stream.

Can you send me some cigars? No, fuck no. Buy your answer. You can, you can buy Cuban cigars there. But the two expensive here, or if you did send them, though, I'll have to pay tax on them any more I probably. Oh, you still don't have any money? I'm living from week to week at the moment. Chris, please never change.

Don't worry. Hey, do you guys like me calling them? Do you think people laugh at me or do you laugh with me? We laugh with you. I definitely do. I think you were hilarious. That's coming from a woman. Yeah. Very attractive. Okay. Here, here, here. I'm going to send you this. I'm going to. Can you pay for my flight to Los Angeles? No. No. No. I don't want you to

in America. You can't come to America anyway. They revoked your passport, didn't they? Yeah, but when my court case is dealt with, can you pay for, can you pay for me to come over? Can you give me a little more information on your court case? Um, I don't want to, it's because private. Oh, you don't want to, that would be what? And appropriate? Well, you'll use it against me because Oh, how am I going to use shit against you because. Oh, my God. You should against you.

I don't I don't do anything. But it's all gossip. Well, all those showers is gossip, really. Yeah. What do you listen to? News, damage onto us. News about conspiracy shootings. Well, what do you mean conspiracy?

All right, guys, you have to just post type your name and the fucking thing. I can't do all these things that you're asking me to do. If you want to get on the call, I don't know if you want to get on the call, simple, put your fucking username on the chat. Don't send it to me. I'm talking to other people. Are you talking to about are you talking to a bunch of douchebags? I don't know. It's going. a douchebag. I don't know it's going that way.

Do you think I'm a douchebag? Well, you're on Skype. So you're ahead of the guy. You're on Skype here. Here's Eric. Eric Wong. Let's see if this is. Oh, boy. Hey, what's up? Any air, me? Yeah, we have to say to Chris the QE. Well, so a little bit of backstory. No, no, no, no no no no it's real quick all right all right out of my go

mister kiwi here the end of me the blue without provocation and at the end of the world got a problem uh... aris it's too choppy it's too choppy i get it we got to go i'm ready i see it's easy it's easy okay christ we're just too choppy. We gotta go. All right, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya. Okay, Chris, we're just gonna play this song and I gotta get rid of you.

He sounds like a real cock to me. No, he's... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He's I heard his butt hurt here. He looks you heard his wife. He's a butt here. He's a butt hurts. No, and his defense is the vaccines. What did you say about Eric? He's a butt hurts. He's a I heard his back. You did you heard his butt.

Yeah. It's moving from things to butts. All right, he's going to call or write a bunch of people threatening to hurt their butts. I don't wanna play this on. I'm gonna kick his butt. Okay. Okay. Here's my favorite song.

This is the story of a sad mental keywin' and how he was a cat. Dr. Phil's a cat. He's brought Dr. Phil. True. No, but he touched his feet. Do you think Dr. Phil's a cat. He's fun, Dr. Phil. True. Nobody touches you. Do you think Dr. Phil's a cat? Yes.

He's got bored, Ed, though. Sorry, this is too much fun. Not you. Chris, what are you saying? Are you hearing the song? Are you hearing the song? No, I can't hear it. Oh, that's why.

Because you're in fucking... Okay, that's why. Hold on. I can fix that. Hang on, that's why. Because you're in fucking... Okay, that's why. Hold on, I can fix that. Hang on, we're going to play you the song. I think Dr. Rachel is a cat. She's probably home is living in one of those tents and mousanges. Oh, yeah. There are a lot of those.

It says 9-4. Hey, I tell you, if I saw Dr. Rachel in the street home, a sad piss on her, did you know that? What the fuck is, what was that? I said, if I still Dr. Rachel of one of those Hover's Tetsu, the big I'll probably piss on it. What are you talking about? That's no, that's too far.

Get out of here. No, that's not, that's not gonna bad. That's over. That's no, that's too far. Get outta here. No, that's not funny. You ruined it. All right, here you go. This is the story of a sad mental hearing. It's gone great, we killed it. How he was, I've been from the west. Chris.

No. Nobody touched his wings. We became a great, big, meany. Chris No We The top of people's Well, his name is Chris better not get a kiss Oh Well his name is Chris better not get a piss or else you'll become his next prey. You're sliding your teeth. Chris what? Hey what? Did you hang up for me?

Yeah because you're dropping in bomb. Yeah you can't say that, can't have that. Did you cut, is it gonna be on the Discord day? Will that work on the recording? It's already out. What did you do there? What's wrong with using the ad word? You can use it.

You can use it. It's not funny. It is funny. No, it's definitely not funny. It's not funny. It's a recording day. It's on the episode It's a recording, though. It's on the episode.

No. I'll block it out. I'm going to block it out. Yeah, because it gets people kicked off of things. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. I say that that way is not going to be I don't hear you. Oh Jesus.

I say, that way it's not going to be under a corny. You're going to buck it out. Yes, of course. Yes. Why is that so funny? Why? Why is that so funny? No, you owe an apology.

Yeah. You're trying to get us kicked off, man. I can't call you in talk to us anymore. Get out of here. Get out of here. Goodbye. Goodbye. What? Get out of here. You're too weird. Too weird. It's too weird. Um, do not disturb. Okay. Yeah. Damn it! It's like a flogging Molly song or something. Yeah.

Right? Yeah. Alright. It's like a vlogging molly song or something. Right? Yeah. Alright. You wanna talk to a pasta-fuzz? Maybe the pugs. Is this here? Maybe the pugs? Yeah.

I can tell you what the little things are full of the little streets but I'll just let them tell you for a hand. And Chris said, My name is Chris, I'm calling all kids! The little streets put out this letter to you, Burnt Man. And Chris said, my name is Chris, I like calling all kids. And my name is Wino, too, my name. And I'm a man who's a chopper, so far by Uncle's Null. And then tomorrow I'll wake up and do it again

All right, I think I'm very good for the best 15 minutes He's some, he's something else, huh? It really is Yeah Okay, welcome back to the show. Oh my God, it's so great to be here. A pasta fuzz. That fucking time I was able to come back here, Daxick. Yeah.

Boy. How's your sanctions going? A pasta fuzz. Well, you know, I think I have had glitter in my house and on my person for two months because of this fucking muppet. I know. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Yeah. Why don't you tell Consuelo to work a little bit harder. Okay. And stop saying the M word. Yeah. She's got, she's working as hard as her recovery allows. Touch me. Can't.

Sorry, a post-force. Yeah, all right, a post-force. What do you have? We've changed, we've changed. Whoa, I have a couple of things I wanted to come on and talk to you about. I mean, first of all, I cut a swarn that when I was here last time, we lay down some really sick beats. Where are those?

Damn, I'm working on them. Wow. Yeah, get in line. I'm going to tell me to get something Damn, I'm working on them. Wow. Yeah, get in line. I'm gonna tell me to get something done. I was doing good. I'm sucking line. We need to share those with the world. Okay.

Very timely songs too. Yeah, I'll work on it. Yeah. Don't worry, the counter suit's not going anywhere. I'll work on it. I specifically didn't show up to the last one, so I could delay it for you. Oh, thank you.

You're welcome. Thank you very much, you. Oh, thank you. You're welcome. Thank you very much, you're positive, pose. I had Chris. You know, I heard you earlier when you were talking about the opening act for the Australia shows. Yeah.

You know, you did promise me that you would pay for me to go first class tickets and all the yogurt I could eat. Oh, you wanna go there? You just said, but, you know, don't want to make you pay for it. If you do have this fancy little Patreon, and a post-repost is only at $30 a month. And you live in a mansion. I caught that too.

I caught that too. I was living in a mansion. Okay. And you broke. Is that, is that what we're going with? Are you throwing your hat into the ring? I was just about opening up to post-reface. Glitter gets every single person who comes over,

gets glitter on them now. That's like a 32 ounce cup of... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait So funny. Uh, I don't even know if we had, did I have anything left here? We could listen to voicemails. Do you have any voicemails to post your photos with us? Yeah, I mean, I guess. That's why I came back so I can drop some spicy bands. Okay. All right, everybody, this has been the Dix show.

Go to the Dix show.com, Dix.show. Um, do I have to say, uh, I've tickets for road rage Australia. With a post-repost. Don't say, no, don't say a post-repost is gonna be there. He's not gonna be there. Listen, it's up to you to keep your promise to me. I can't do a post-repost though. I'm not funny when I do it.

I am always funny. What are you talking about? Yeah, all right. See you next Tuesday. This song is by, let me find it. This song is by you, each you, each you row God. It's the greatest. Oh God, he's drinking.

Oh, don't fucking get that. You threw, you threw glitter all over my computer last time you were in your apostrophe. Here we go. Great. Yeah, you. I am a writer. I am a writer who can't reach shit. I have a talent. Then a literal sack of bricks. And if you've heard the dick show, I know your opinion suck. Because there's nothing in there and the wrong would be in a cup I had a website, I had a website 20 years ago

I had a podcast, and I have baked you two shows And if you read my first book, it's already disavowed I'm not going to be a fan of this book And I have faked you to show And if you read my first book, it's already disavowed And now I'm having a tantrum just because my ex got plowed And now I'm broken, I'm a sad and lonely man I was litigious, but I didn't have any plans So have you got some spare change, it's all I'm asking for Because I'm gonna save up to repair

Oh, Mr. Foss Disgusting I am a writer, I am a writer who can't read shit I have a talent then a literal bag of dicks Very good Version are you are we on a diet is that what's going I've see you eating rice cakes cookies? They look like rice cakes Shouldn't they be avocado toast?

I'm a cato toast. It's yeah. Well, wouldn't that be like more fitting with the a stereo? I could find any super organic locally sourced avocados. And I am super always trying to make things, you know, good for the environment.

Yeah. What do you think of the New Zealand shooting apostrophe? Oh boy. Jesus. No. Your eyes have gone a little weird. Now they're fine now.

All right, this is a Facebook news. Here we go. Hi, this Facebook news. in the Dixia Facebook guy in the midst of the semi annual copypasta fever Let's start it started again You know that Christ the Kiwi guy had a really good voice. You should have him go the Facebook news you think I should have Christ the Kiwi guy had a really good voice. You should have him go the Facebook news. You think I should have Christ the Kiwi do Facebook news? Uh-huh. Uh, it seems like he already knows everyone in that group anyways.

What if I, what if I, what if we did give him a job? Christ the Kiwi. Well, we'd have to talk to him about it for the whole show. I don't want that. Yeah. But if he recorded bits, if he pre-recorded bits or something like that, that's asking a lot. Maybe he could just leave a voicemail about it.

Has he ever left voicemails before? No. All right. You know, rice cake stuck in your throat? You should probably drink something. Fuck it, throw it. Oh, is that... I don't know if that's gonna do the trick.

All right. I can throw it. How is that? I don't know if that's gonna do the trick. Hahaha. All right. Don't fucking move the glitter cup twice. I'm moving it away from me so I don't make a mess. I'm trying to be very, very considerate. Hey, what did you think, Aposha Fuzz? What did you think of that thing of me in space? You don't have shit in space. What are you talking about?

I go to space all the time. How do you do that? Oscar the Grouch. He takes me up in his magic garbage camp. Really those guys, the Muppets, associate with someone like you. Yeah, didn't you see Muppets in Space, dummy? Okay. Just let them get the story out first.

Hi, this is Facebook News. In the Dixio Facebook group, in the midst of the semi-annual copypasta fever, Garrett made a thread for creative names for the vagina, such as Dittle ditch, thought pocket, hand wallet, wage gap, Mary on his trench, resume, scrambled eggs between the legs, no no square, juice, loose and bitch, mitten. Oh, Edgar made a thread as well. For dickheads to share things they learned far too late in life, starting by, oh, wage gap. That's a good one it's funny juice

loose is that what they I think so what is that ketchup why I thought I was coming on to show you guys my sauce collection is that why and why is that why is that a why is that a a store brand ketchup? How is that not organic and free range and? Yeah, this is Kroger dude. I mean, I know you don't live in a mansion, but You do have your principles do you not or is this worse or sauce? No, and here we have some gonna be Robin Eros hot sauce Oh, dude. I love ginger peach peach. Well don't I don't think What what's going on here? Keon just

I don't think you want to open a posh or post is sauce does that make them lose value? Well how old is you Throw God He doesn't know how old that was what was really in there tastes like ginger right here. He doesn't know how old that was. What was really in there? Taste like ginger. Oh God. That was my song. You weren't using it. Oh, all right. You don't know what I've been using, all right?

Okay. Good point. All right. Mending he thought the DR. Don't touch any more of my goddamn songs. All right, I'm here to show it with all the nice fans of the Dixho. They're not you. You stupid virgin Fabio looking asshole.

She is so mysterious. All right. All right, with postrophos, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. All right, can we do the news, please? Go ahead. I earned far too late in life, starting by admitting he thought that the DR at the end of street names stood for Doctor.

Most common. All right. What? What's the point? Ah! For fuck's sake, he has a brown paper bag with the Moller sign drawn on it. Hold on. I got all my socks here. Hey, what are you doing?

Let me help you with that. The post goes here. It's... I'm watching you. I know. I'm not going. I know. I'm not going to take anything down. Stop it out.

What is... All right. Oh. Oh. As you can see, we have many types of sauces. As I showed last time, we have the teriyaki sauce flavor. But, you know, I think I've also done a really good job at diversifying, so we have more sour.

Sports portfolio. So, I'm also going to mix up with some ranch from Jack in the Box and also make Donbottes. Oh, they have different ranges. Okay. Sorry, you were doing something that was so funny. Would you even eat them or do you just collect them? Well, you collect them. You eat them later.

Okay, all right. Do they appreciate and value? Always, I appreciate them every day. Okay. When Galt came in, the faction, he was eyeing those sauces is something weird, entire time he was here He was yeah, yeah, no he was even was all the weird stuff that happened on that episode He thought it was they were mine for some reason. Yeah, he thought the guy thought that Sean like had some weird sauce thing Yeah, sauces for somebody I've never seen this

sauces for somebody. I've never seen this. Okay, here driving a charter vessel for a burial at sea, Jake mistakenly put out at least one cigarette and the ashes that are meant to be scattered. Baseball news reached out to Jake for content. I don't know if I believed that. But did not pursue for a fear that further explanation would make the story less funny. Thank you. This is Facebook news.

It's a long outro he's got there. Have you ever had any car, Lixoss? Yeah, I've had that. Very delicious. Yeah. They charge you extra for it. I don't really appreciate that. I think it's just going to come with the pizza if I'm being honest.

It's okay. Okay. I knew a guy who ran a pet cemetery incinerator. He would do, he would incinerate the pads, and then he would also incinerate cops drug busts. Ah, so they'd bring them all the drugs and he'd incinerate them all. That one, we can barely hear it.

No, it, no, it, no, it. Okay, thank you, Bosh. Thank you, Bosh, Bosh. Fuckin' stop. All right. Hank, can you put these back in the bag please? No, just just throw them all just street I gotta put these back in the form

Only because I expect something funny here we go All right, listen to music with your fucking day Every time he and him hanging the fuck out, we start shipping on that fucking crown oil. And this motherfucker gets it up to that that he has to play the his fucking music because I guess I don't know any fucking music. And it's the lame fucking shit in the world.

It's just what the worst thing is fucking cool. He puts on CZ Top top and says this is the best player ever in and it's like I got free winning in the back and it's like he's driving me mad at a lad. He stops the song. White fucking Aaron says I can explain it to you. That was the best lyric ever fucking written Because if I disagree and said that is fucking lame He's just gonna play the fucking song Tell you appreciate it

I think that's how you deal with fucking boomers and truck dead That's what machine learning is lacking. The day a computer invents one of their crappy riffs and then makes you listen to it 10,000 times. Then you know it's human. Yeah, every time it says, check it out, this is the best thing. This is the best thing I've come up with yet as a learning computer. They haven't learned how to annoy us as much as other humans. Yeah, the turning test is stupid.

Butthole and Joe, right, annoying me. When a computer figures out how to annoy me, but third, they're, I think a computer can find out how to annoy you more than a post-repost. When that happens, never, never. See, there was butthole, the other was a Joe. Nailed it. Wait, wait, never, never. But holy other was a joke. Nailed it.

Wait, wait, wait. As a very special guest because you are my super best friend, Dick. Do you want to see my super, super secret sauces? No, absolutely not. Yes. What do you mean? These are the most valuable of all the sauces in the whole world. Don't forget this.

I do want to see it, but I want to play another, you get it out, I'm going to play another voicemail. Okay, hold on. Oh my god. Hey, they're dead good. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Shit. Hey, they're dickhead. Oh my God. Oh my God. Shit. People who keep telling me I have to just watch the Michael Jackson documentary on HBO going so far. I was just signing up to HBO now or go or whatever. They give you 30 days free. You know, I just putting your card on camp

doing, uh, uh, okay, whatever. I don't care. I'm, I mean, I'm 33 years old. It's been just known yet not talk about at least in the mainstream that my collection more should fucking small children i'm sorry young boy okay eduSori i don't need to watch a documentary on how he did it so all that uh... i think it's kind of sick to even want to fucking venture into it i mean i get the curiosity about about it, but no, I know he fucked kids.

This is good. Why did the apostrophos perk up when he said that? A apostrophos has made incredible mess. Can we get him a towel please? In the towel. The towel is not going to work for the gallon of glitter. He literally launched like a 24 or 32 ounce cup full of glitter. Full of glitter.

That he had two steps out of, by the way. Oh, damn. When he was in such a hurry to show his panic room briefcase, full of his secret sauce. Fireproof. He's got the black box of secret sauce That he was sorry in such a hurry to put on the table Oh, you're showing us your key. Yeah, it actually locks Okay, oh my god, is that Szechuan sauce?

Hey, don't touch it. Hey, what are you doing? Oh, he just, holy shit. This is like the Rick and Morty stuff, right? Yeah, that's a good value road. All right, what is this? What is this? You open that already.

Are you kidding me? You open it? You have, I gotta try that. You have a, what's going on over there? Wait, I wanna pack of my own You're gonna have to You get away from me aren't those actually rare this Retirement fund

Open day fireproof briefcase of sauce of his favorite sauce. For a weekend, already stuffed, yeah. And Sean and Keon have denuded it. Now it's gross. Yeah. Now the second bite sucks. Yeah.

I've never actually had such one sauce. Here you go. Well, I can't because I'm covered in glitter. That's okay. It's very sweet and ginger-y. Yeah. Let's give it a shot. What? You're not enough ginger.

Not smart. You have made a powerful enemy. Oh, I have it. I've made a felt-month trusty, but... But... Wow, it is sweet. Oh, no. The towel's gonna do nothing.

Yeah. Thank you. These are do nothing. Yeah, thank you. These are super valuable. Yeah, I see. How much have we eaten in a dollar amount, you think? I can't believe it, it stood in line for that for like five days. I didn't know what that for five days. I know you did, but that's why I said, I can't believe it, it stood there. You know what, if anybody ever tells me that

Islam doesn't create terrorists or that PewDiePie doesn't create right wing shooters, I'm just gonna point to Szechuan sauce. Nobody gave a fuck about it until Rick and Morty hyped it up. Nobody on, like this is not, Rick and Morty did not have nothing to do with people's rabid mania over seshwad sauce.

So if you can make somebody go wait in there and you can make them shoot up whatever you want. I'm not pretending anymore that they don't, that they didn't have something to do with it. This is an amazing briefcase. I'm off the most slow. All right, I'm off the most slow. Close your fucking briefcase, No one can see you. Hahaha.

Get that out of the way. Okay, well that's first of all, Michael Jackson didn't molest any kids. No, no. Did you watch that finding Neverland shit? No. It is two middle aged men in detail describing their fantasy sexual abuse encounters with Michael Jackson.

Yeah. There is nothing else in it, but two guys telling a fanfic that they are writing on the fly, perhaps, of being molested by Michael Jackson. All right. Oh, there's no evidence. No evidence for any of it. Oh, he's flicking rice. This new stuff.

Does not knew at all. They're regurgitating. He did. How could it be new? They're regurgitating stories. I mean, new, that's what I mean. I mean, new. They have switched. They have switched.

Now they testified on his behalf. They weren't have switched. Now that they testified on his behalf, they weren't asked to, they volunteered to testify on his behalf when he was in trouble. Oh yeah, now that he's dead, they flipped. And all of a sudden, not only are they recanting everything they ever said about him, but all of a sudden they have these elaborate stories of being molested that are totally unprovable

that are also very similar to a book a guy wrote about being molested by Michael Jackson that he got sued for and lost and had to pay Michael Jackson two million bucks for and then left the country to escape the judgment. It wasn't absolutely absolutely nothing but two grown men describing their fantasy of being raped as children by Michael Jackson. Didn't during one of those trials, a kid come forward with the one piece of evidence that I can never get past is that he was able

to identify a mark on Jackson's dick. So only somebody who had seen like the underside of his dick. Okay. Can now identify. Now let's, now I'm gonna explain this. In the Santa Barbara police also have like a, this is a rumored bunch of evidence. I'm gonna explain the whole, I went through,

I finally went through and actually read what they had versus what happened. Because when I was a kid, I bought into it because the evidence stuff, but I mean, I mean, the, the, the, the birthmark. Oh, yeah. No, I know what you're talking about. When I was a kid, I believed it 100% because it was on TV. And they said it and he's a fucking weirdo.

Well, a lot of people defending too. From the game, but they're all like, you know, they're all like Michael Jackson fans, like super fans, like, okay, you guys are the kids who are, or the fans are, oh, no, I know, they're all like Michael Jackson fans, like super fans, like, okay, you guys are the kids who are, or the kids are well, oh, no, I know, like McCulley Colken or, or, or, a Feldman, yeah, Cory Feldman and these two assholes in this documentary that are now saying they've been raped. The drawing that you're talking about, what the, the kid did come forward and said he could draw what was on the underside of Michael Jackson's dick.

The cops went out there, took pictures of Michael Jackson, and then that's when Michael Jackson said, you know what, Michael Jackson who's fucked in the head, the most insecure paranoid person on earth, who thought that people, who thought that Sony was trying to kill him because he owned like he bought half of their music catalog or something like that. No. So they pro they might have been if they're going to kill anybody, it's going to be the guy that they can make a billion dollars off of right.

Anyway, at that moment, ready to go on one of the biggest tours of his life, he says, I'm going to pay these people out of court so that they don't take pictures of my cock and spread them around the entire earth. So I don't have to go to court and watch 12 people look at pictures of my dick. So see if they can. Right. You see what I'm saying? So we dropped $20 million, which they mean is two weeks worth of work, right? Nothing. The prosecution took the money without telling him that they had already withdrawn that as evidence. Why would they do this, you might ask?

Because the picture didn't fucking match. They went through all that, the war and everything. Kid had the picture, pictures of his dick. We withdraw that as evidence, but don't tell him because that'll fuck up the money train. Oh wow. I mean, they've got recordings of the guy who started it saying, if I don't, I get what I want no matter what,

I'll ruin him if I don't get what I want. That's really. You really looked into this. The whole, because it's so fucking bad. In light of what we know about the media today that they lie constantly going back in time and looking at it, it's so much easier to say, oh, you guys were lying about all of this shit. Yes, he's a weirdo.

Yes, people slept in his bedroom, which was the size of a duplex, of a two room duplex. Yes, little, yes, little kids may have slept in his bed. Yeah. I don't fucking know, but he didn't. There's no evidence that he molested anybody. All of the, all of the child porn that the Santa Barbara police found on him. The first fucking one is a world famous art book that they describe as having full fronted, full frontal nudity of old the new neighborhood boys a famous but ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Mexican-do racist. All right. All right. At least I'm not saying the N word. Yet me, they're my. I think I'm Chris the Kiwi.

That was, that's where I am on Michael Jackson. Very interesting. Didn't do shit. He very well. He may not have. In fact, you know what? Probably fucked a lot of broads. Ah, I doubt it.

Why? He'd have a lot more kids. I think he was so socially stunted. And because I think he really did identify as a kid himself. He never, God never had a childhood. He had the worst fucking father on earth. He had it. He was horrible. I really do believe those were the people he identified with the most.

Yeah. Kids. Yeah. Okay. And it doesn't, and you're right. It doesn't mean that there was, I'd be more than you can handle. identified with the most. Yeah. Kids. Yeah. Okay. And it doesn't, it doesn't mean that there was, I'd be more than you can handle. But there was anything inappropriate going on. Mm-hmm.

All right, here we go. Hey, it's, uh, Skyhouse Cowboy. Now I work in a factory in the Midwest. I've spent my entire career about 15 years. We're going to factory in the Midwest. I spent my entire career about 15 years. We're going to factory in the Midwest and to add on to Andrew from Eugene Origins Point about just a floodgates being open. What makes me a rage is whenever anyone starts complaining about the wage. Yeah. Every factory I've ever worked in is completely run by four foot tall misbizito Mexican and South American immigrants. Everyone working on the floor is, doesn't speak English, and it's not from here.

They're all legal immigrants. We replaced our entire manufacturing base all of those blue collar jobs with illegal immigrants. And we're supposed to like, everyone's all wild, wild, as our middle class disappeared. I don't understand it. We opened the flingate. Dude, why do people not understand that? Your middle class is gone because we have legalized slave labor in this country. Yeah, lumpets because you can hire non-citizen for nothing. Through, you know, whether you're actually directly hiring them or you're hiring them through some kind of like a temp store.

higher in them or you're hiring them through some kind of like uh... temp for and no one all we have uh... heart for these poor immigrants who suffer so much to come here and work for pennies and just respect them for you know all

yeah tricky people like human beings but you don't think that my human beings by letting them come here and be placed yeah i don't understand this mentality i don't understand the people who want to go open the letter and have a half-time you know twenty-first century version of slavery in this country keep something borders down how you know mexicans rebuild mexico

if you want to do it or a academic discussion uh... important a slave class into your country to replace your own citizens work uh... or your own citizen jobs make zero sense and i don't understand why not anyone does make sense if sense for the owner of the company. They are the L.A. people who have no understanding of how the middle of the United States

work. Yeah. It makes everyone a rage. Yeah. It makes sense if you run the companies and if you need poor people to vote for you. Makes a lot of sense. That's about it. It doesn't make sense for anybody else.

Ah, let's see what else we got here. All right, you know what makes me a fucking rage? I'm 20 years old, I'm already fucking greed. I'm gonna go out and see fucking Princess Bride and theaters for some goddamn reason with my girl but no really releasing a i'm twenty so going at the end of really cheap stake for a nice burger

and i think going to take out i've got a fifty dollar burger and what is this fucking bitch get the fucking salmon i don't know why you're getting the salmon and can't anyway we're about as far away from anywhere as you get salmon. The Kansas City salmon. Oh my god. And then this week, this week she goes out to the same restaurant with her dad. She just gets a salad.

Yeah. Fuck you bitch. I know there's so many things we've got. But You don't need to get your money there and every time we go out. See, they drive it so crazy that even they can't even eat right. There's a problem with that. Just trying to get in his pocket deep. For that Kansas City salmon. Getting that salmon. How'd you lose your shirt in the past, for us? He got glitter on it. Oh, how'd you lose your shirt in post froze? He got glitter on it.

Oh, yeah, now you know how it feels. You got glitter in your beard dick. It's everywhere. It's everywhere. It's everywhere. It's all over your face. It's impossible to get out. Damn it.

He's proud of himself. Yeah, he is. Well, for this asshole, it looks like you got bucokeyed by a unicorn You got me All right, all right hey dick I Live in question. I'm a long-time fan of the show the listen to the biggest problem I thought I'd give you an update on the situation in my city and my country. Oh, good.

So, they have brought in more police into Christchurch, which as someone pointed out to me, seems kind of silly because it's like they're expecting for lightning straight to life. So much so that every night around 2 a.m. they have the play helicopter flying in quite slow, circling around the city with their infrared cameras trying to spot people doing dirty things, which is a little bit of an invasion of my privacy when I'm up at 2 a.m. trying to jack off this really fucked up shit. They had a call to prayer to support the Muslims because... Man, if they did those call to prayers here, I would fucking lose it. In Abu Dhabi, they would do them five times a day.

Yeah, sure. They're so maddening and insane blaring all throughout the city. They come through speakers, right? Yeah. And Abu Dhabi, what they're synchronized, so they all go off at the same time. In most of the Middle East, they just kind of go off

around that time. Around that time. Yeah. Speaking of cost action, something you guys were talking about earlier, the crayon boxes. Yeah. Do you remember in the 90s, when they used to, you know, they asked you to submit names for the crayon boxes. Do you remember in the 90s when they used to, you know, they asked you to submit names for the crayons?

Yeah, remember that. I wish I could have been an apostrophos color. Okay. Well, come on, that was a tropical rainforest. Morning, Robin's egg blue, what, Sarice, Tickleme pink, mac and cheese, tumblewood, asparagus, grainy smith apple, Ceres, Tickleme pink, mac and cheese, tumblewood, asparagus, the Srami Smith apple, purple mountains, majesty, timber wolf,

tantum, shamrock, this is like cereal and marvelous, and Pacific rice, except with no jigs. Like, no, octopus. Yeah, what color would you be? What would it look like? Like this.

No flannel. Yeah. Okay, I think that's right. I think in one crayon. Yeah, I color would you be? What would it look like? Like this. You'll flannel. Yeah. Okay. I think it's already in one crayon. Yeah, I think that. Uh-huh. With more glitter.

Interesting. I guess they could do that. I don't know. Science, man. Come on. Yeah. The USAM markers that you could eat, Elon. Sorry, what?

The USAM markers that you could eat. No, they do. Do you remember those? No, they never have markers you could eat. What do you mean? You can never eat markers. I ate lots of markers. Yeah. They smell like blueberry pie.

You weren't supposed to eat that. Right. Chocolate. That doesn't mean I've been non-toxic, but those I mean you could eat. Well, I guess it doesn't mean you could eat that. I can't eat them. That was a shooter.

Technically he's right, I guess. I guess they did have markers you could eat. Support the Muslims. New Zealand supports Islam. And they were even encouraging people to wear burkas. And support of them. And there are several people in my workplace, which is around the corner from the mosque.

The people were wearing burkas around the workplace in support, which is around the corner from the mosque. The people wearing burqas around the work place in the port, which seemed a little bit alike, though, taking it a bit too far. Well, bring your daughter to work day. Now, bring her to work day. We got a show. It's like when Texas is flooded, everybody in America shows up to work with. We got a show. It's like when like when Texas is flooded, everybody in America shows up to work with a 10 gallon hat. Yeah, and roll and roll their pants up. Hey everybody, you hear about that? Huh? Yep, he's been strong. God, he's been strong. We got the reports.

He used in strong. Got your waiters on. He used in strong. job. Can I look and I get you today? This is it happening all over the country. Juksa hazard runs 24 seven. Yeah. Um, Nebraska's underwater. Yeah. So everybody's just everybody's going. Yeah, talking about how the corn huskers suck this year. How they blew it again this year.

Um, man, you know, here's only weird. A guy hit me up saying that, I don't know, he was weird about telling me, but you know, because it seems like kind of stalkerish, but it's not, I understand. He found where, he found where my grandpa died after I talked about it on the episode. And discovered the home where he used to live.

And the guy lived, it turned out to be my cousin's home. The guy lived like a dickhead listener. He lived around the corner and down like a block. Oh wow, from it. So he said he's been there his whole life. I would go back there all the time. Yeah. I was like, oh, you remember that the 7-11 with

the arch rivals game in it? My cousin used to go there all the time. I mean, it was weird and small world, I guess. Yep. There you go. Wearing a job, I can't wait to wear a hijab in my lifetime and solidarity of something. You're going to be a, I mean, a person. Wow. School shit. Oh, well, I guess I'm gonna be putting him into it. Oh, boy, that's, I don't think we can talk to, I don't think we can talk to Chris the Kiwi when he's around anymore because he's bad influence. Am I the only one who gives a shit about the rules?

I give a shit about the rules. Yeah, Sean really said part. Sean, please delete that part. Yeah, I gotcha. Hey, job day, a Dodger Stabium. Yeah, yeah, I can't wait. I can't wait to wear a job. He needs to sit and think about what he's done. Yeah, you really

All right, unless you're talking cars That's exactly what I'm talking about. Am I gonna be a transformer like Nope, that doesn't work. That's gotta be it's gotta be cars. It's gotta be car equipment. Bumblebee He's a car What made up? Bumblebee. Easy car. I, so yeah, I was run corner from the mosque when happens. The museum are New Zealand fabric. So our country is incredibly liberal and incredibly left wing.

Think of it like our law system is based on the UK law system, but we are an incredibly liberal country. And the amount of virtue signaling that was going on the subreddit principle was insane. The whole subreddit was on full alert for any sort of propaganda, right wing propaganda, and they were being people different, and they were talking about how he will not divide us and stuff like that. And it was shocking just how bad they were really pushing this narrative that New Zealand is a original country, and we're all one people, and we support Islam you know, we support Islam and it's, and that right-wing extremism is just completing our lecture when that, they said that such a thing could not happen here, yet it has. So, the fact that they're failing to accept it is that they're not addressing the problem which is going to make it worse in my opinion.

And the other thing was that, so we have a local road between here, it's just in our corner. The oil blacks. No, do you want to go from this guy? Yeah, okay. Yeah. Lifts right down the corner. Yeah, wow

Cross your sky back again. Oh you need to link in the time for you wish mouth. No The Crusaders which is oh I want to welcome the circums out those another last attention name Default as I got some other place. No, we'll possibly keep the name Crusaders. Yeah, given the circumstances and the last attention, name that those decided they could have think about it. And we'll possibly keep the name crusaders. Gotcha. And they're also going to ban semi-automatic rifles.

Wow. Because as they've mentioned here, one of the ministers said that... they're talking about how we're trying to take away the second amendment rights to ungun's. We don't have the right to be a, the only government is yelling is absolutely a privilege and not a right. I don't have a, I don't have, you know, I'm not, I don't, I don't use guns or on guns or anything, so I don't have to say anything later. I don't have an opinion on it, but Okay, so well Anyways enjoy the show. I am listening to your full episode of the opposite watch the video on YouTube Yeah

Keep it up. All right. I don't own guns, so I Don't have a saying it. Oh man. I mean technically he's right if you don't own guns You can't stop the government from saying you can't have guns. That's true. Yeah. What the hell are you doing? Yeah. What is he trying to do?

He's trying to help there. You tore. What did he just do? Was that a popper? Yeah. He's a popper. All right. Two more.

Sure. What does his sign say? What sign a Posterposterposterposter.com slash cocoa puffs stutter.com slash K underscore cocoa puffs way to go buddy We got I got Alan. I want to get through these force meals. Let's do Alan was calling in because the not for human consumption podcast is having a fist fight with another podcast. Like a real fight. Well, who's supposed to be, let's talk about it next week. I actually, I can't, I can't keep up with no, no, is that no?

What? That's more glitter. Isn't more glitter. You're about to know. All right. The two more. We'll do two more. All right, Dick. You ever see those jeeps with like the f**king,

it's almost like a little rock shield on like the front of it? But it's like this little piece that you put on the front of your car. But when you have it on, it looks like your headlights have angry eyes. Have you seen those on jeeps? I've only see them on jeeps but the one with the new one but no wonder head lights but you look fucking stupid i know what he's talking about you'll put a shite ever like a cute you

the possible struggle with the person the only one they can be shit in a green intimidating the fuck off okay what i got it i don't know what he's talking about me there i got it a, I got to talk to, I got to talk to Alan.

The cars look angry. Hey, Alan, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. What's up? Hey, what's going? So what's up with this fight that you're having with another podcast? How about to have a fight with a stupid asshole? Ignore the puppet. What about the fight you having? One of, uh, one of my co-hosts was supposed to fight JP from the dickheads podcast. Okay.

And the other night in our discord, JP hopped in there and was drunk and... Wait, why were they fighting? JP versus who? They... Dylan, my co-host. They just don't like each other. So it was like, all right. What?

What's good reason? It's good reason. They handle this. JP of the dickheads podcast and then Dylan of not for human consumption right okay, and where were they gonna fight? We were trying to find a venue here in Phoenix for it to happen. Yeah, and JP doesn't understand that that's kind of shit takes time Yeah, yeah, you get organized getting a proper fight proper venue to make it happen Yeah, he got impatient said we were backing out of this fight. And we weren't what was gonna happen. But he kind of blew up in our discord the other night

and was doxing Dylan, posting his address and his phone number in there and shit. And it's like, dude. Cause he's out of his fucking mind. I don't know. Is that him in the chat? Yeah, he's in the chat. All right, let me bring him in.

Yeah, bring him in. How's not for human consumption going? Oh, great. We're having a good time over there We had we had hacked the movies on a couple of weeks ago, and that was that was a blast Yeah, I love that guy. I bumped him today. I feel bad about it. Yeah, dude that guy's hilarious. He's great Yeah, like he's in there just talking shit. He won't get into the challenge Tell him to tell him I can't get my hands are covered in glitter. Why? That's what I'm talking about. Why?

Why? You know why. Me? Tell him to refresh and join the live show. All right, JP, you were going to fight, this is JP of the Dickheads podcast. You were going to fight Dylan? That's correct. Why?

Well, let's see. I think it all started with him being on my podcast. And I loved an aphc start now before they started talking all this shit, but um, he was on there and I start to edit it. And just like I just did, he fucking lip smack like 187 times throughout the whole episode. So I thought it was funny, told an fhc about it. And Alan was like, Oh, I need a super clip. But you know, a super cut of all of his lip smacks. And that started the whole thing, like feeling guest, pissed off. Yeah, do you have that?

Like that? I'm lip smacks everywhere. Do you have the same? You're unintentionally, you're unintentionally unintentionally. Unintentionally. I think he likes chewing on ice drink podcasts. I'll fight start over a fucking technical problem on a podcast. Hold'm a fight star. I'm a fight star. I'm a fight star. I'm a fight star. I'm a fight star. I'm a fight star.

I'm a fight star. I'm a fight star. I'm a fight star. I'm a fight star. I'm a fight star. I'm a fight star. I'm a fight star. I'm a fight star.

I'm a fight star. I'm a fight star. I'm a fight star. I'm a fight star. I'm a fight star. I'm a fight star. I'm a fight star. I'm a fight star.

I'm a fight star. I'm a fight star. I'm a fight star. I'm a fight star. I'm a fight star. I'm a jungle gym. Wait, who's got it in their email? Somebody must have it. I need to hear it. Let me see. But every time Sean brings up any kind of audio issues, I feel his pain, man. I get, you know, dickheads on here all the time. Somebody's got a laundry, you know,

the fucking laundry going in the background or a parrot or a fucking something. It's like Jesus crazed people. Seabuller dropping anti trans. Yeah. Let's do it. It was a little bit bad. Come from a different time, a different culture.

It's racist to say Mexicans can't use these words. But yeah, that's where it started. I need to hear it. I need to hear this book. Okay. I'm looking it up. And then I made a song for Dylan just to a quick little parody of that for getting certain martial songs of a like a Peter Yousuck thing and I guess that was a final straw He started he wanted to challenge me to something so I said let's do a fight and he backed out at first

But then I guess I talked enough shit pissed him off nobody backed out of anything if you listen to the tape the first thing He says like I'm looking to fight you you're bigger and stronger and like up Strong I'm gonna choke you out and I'm gonna kick you in the chest like you never said anything about not kick me out like He already knows he's gonna lose and then You know you guys just like don't say any you say okay if this doesn't happen within a month and a half It's gonna get way too hot in Arizona. And it's just gonna be boring by then. We were so lucky on it.

We were gonna go venue and then you turned into a fucking weirdo. Because you guys don't tell anybody that you're working on it. You just act like it's not gonna happen now. And it's been a half. It's been like a daily update. Yes, they're working on it. It's been a month and a half. JP, how big are you?

What are your measurements? I'm 511 170 how JP how big are you what is your what are your measurements? 5111 said oh my god, I got a bunch of clothes you can fit into all set of how big is Dylan Bill is like five five on 150 pounds. Okay. That's a pretty big Dissgrepancy Yeah, maybe a slap you're right in your life But then with then fucking JP gets in our discord Friday night and he's like telling Dylan He's posting his address in there and saying he's gonna come out here and kill him You guys are

Kinging up on me and talking to you What do you think's gonna happen you fucking me? And then you guys start talking to you to be two. Like I'll fight all four of you guys. God damn, like. Wait, wait, JP, you will fight, you will fight all four of them? Yeah, one at a time. Sure, let's put the whole fight card in.

Like digs down. Like Dings Town. JP versus Dings Town. Okay. Dings Town would you be into that sort of arrangement? No, they've all declined. They're fucking pussy. You'll fight them? Okay. I think we should fight them all. Would you be Allen would you be into that sort of arrangement? No, they've all declined. Yeah, okay. You'll fight them.

Okay. I'll fight them. I should fight them all. Okay, sure. Offer exceptions. That's they're all they all agreed. If that's a that would be a hell of an event. One man versus an entire podcast.

One virgin. One by one. All right. Calm down. I'm a positive boss. Yeah. Allen, you're willing to you're willing to take on JP? Yeah, I'd fight him.

How big, what's your measurements? I'm 5'11 to 35 to 40. He's a more lift. Yeah, more lift. You can pack a lot of power in that pork. You can. Yeah. Okay, who's got this lip smacking super kind?

I can't find it. Come on, how was it sent in the first place? Yeah, I was looking through JP's messages. He sent it to me at some point, but I can't find it. Oh, it's been Google Drive. What do you want me to say? patreon.com slash cocoa puffs. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. We got it. patreon.com slash.com with a K. What a show. Okay, so JP, why did you go? Why did you go on blasting the blasting Dylan's personal details in their disc. Well, that was like I said after about an hour or two of just them berating me the whole time.

I'm trying to talk shit to Dylan and trying to like make sure that they're still doing this fight because it sounds like they're just talking fucking out and just being a little like, oh, you know, we're going to go. But you can say it's too late. It's been too long. Like why are we going to do You can say it's too late. It's been too long. Like, why are we gonna do this? And making up a billion excuses. And then still like, berating me,

talking to you about my podcast. So I'm on original, how, not about all this other crap. What is your podcast, the Dickhead's podcast? Oh, it's been even no, ah! That's so good. No, I want you to, I know about it, but I want you to tell everybody about it.

Yeah, fuck you, Alan. Um, everyone thinks it's like the talking heads, get out of the talking dead or whatever. We're just recapping your show, but really the whole point is to get dickheads on there and just kind of like give them another outlet to the besides Facebook shit posting everywhere. Let's get to know the dickheads. Let's hear their opinions. Get on it.

What are you shit posting about the post-repost? Yeah. Say it again, a post-repost. What do you guys should posting about a post or post? Are you guys as a self is in the ship posting but yeah You're off the camera by the way, post your first you guys scoop back in there all right Fuck we got to hear that lip smacking Whatever we got to we got to put it in here so everybody can hear it Fuck lips max

It's an old thing I got it. I got it. Okay, so you may please Copy what the likes are without the likes likes it's called likes The Mac and Bill is. Okay, and this is Dylan's lips macking. This is what started it. Oh my God, that's not the right link. Jesus.

Oh, don't. Be careful. Get sure of the link. This is a. This is a shit show. Yeah. No, not you guys. This glitter everywhere.

Yeah. And we in shivers try that. It's barfed up glitter and rice cakes all over the table. Chocolate chip rice cakes. Yeah. Okay, are you ready for this, Sean? No, I'm ready for this. Let's hear it.

This is what these boys are fighting about. All right, I got, is this the same one? Like, that's a YouTube. That's a YouTube. That's a YouTube. That's a YouTube channel. That's a long ago. I think that is the same one like a bunch of reverb on it too yeah like it's like a stereo reverb on it okay wait the middle is the best yeah hmm yeah like oh god

it just goes oh like like like like gross oh my god like like my god

I'm figuring this oh wow very good I could see why that would piss somebody off And I ended it with this but I'm saying boners like you did at the end of the episode But um, I think it was 187 lips max that I counted that I had to pull it took me hours to make that fucking super clip I love it. It's very embarrassing if Sean, please don't ever do that to me Okay, so JP versus the not for human consumption podcast digs town style Well, there's two more Hosts that you know probably aren't gonna agree to it. So you got two edits for, I guess. No, they've all got to agree to it.

It's got to be four on one. You're lucky to look. They're all pussy's. Look at me get up and I can make it out. I'm so spicy. I don't fucking care. I don't post my address anywhere anymore. That's fucking.

You already did. Yeah. Well, because you care. I don't fucking care. But when you're going out, just posting somebody else's address for no reason. Yeah, that's fucked up. Don't do that. You guys canceled, so I threatened to come to Dylan.

Yeah, but you posted the address. That's the problem. Don't post people's addresses on that. I get this, but also don't talk to you to me for two hours straight. No, they're not comfortable. No, that's not how that fucking works, man. You can't dox people like that. You just can't do it. It's fucking rude.

Yeah. All right. All right. Well, what makes you boys a rage? You know, you ever go through a drive-through and you pull up to the window to get your food and they tell you to fucking park in the parking lot. Yeah. I can't fucking stand that, man.

I'm in the drive-through. I don't want to sit in the parking lot. Just give me the uncooked food. I'll cook it in that man. I mean the drive through. I don't want to see the car. I'm just giving me the uncooked food. I'll cook it in the car. It's fine. And they never do the right number of softwares. What the park? For another five?

What the fuck, man? Just give me the food. It's the whole point of the drive through. I don't want to sit in your parking lot. But you know it's because they're making your food, right? So it's fresh. I guess, but it just blocks up the ingredients of the drive through.

You said such a boot liquor. They should always be making food and just throw it away the second it's not fresh so that when I pull up there, I immediately get it. How the fries aren't done, man, I'll wait for those new fries. No, they need to be in a continuous endeavor of making new fries and trashing them immediately just in case I drive up like love

Like a very absolutely throw it in the throw it homeless people. I don't care what you do with it Okay, JP you got anything Yeah, it actually goes right along with that lips mecking thing Um, I've got you know anybody especially cereal I think it's probably the worst thing anytime someone's fucking smack in the lips while they're eating. Yeah Oh my god it drives me fucking insane. I'll wake up to my roommate like eating fucking cereal and his dog eat it for some reason His dog eats fucking food at the same time he does so I got like the dog on one side Hint smack in his lips with the cereal just move on like Jesus Christ like I'm going I'm getting out of here

I'm just doing on purpose I'm going I'm getting out of here. I'm just our dude on purpose. No, don't answer the people Just in life. All right guys get out of here Post-apostopos stop look it off Okay, everybody this has been going on way too long a post-apostokian. Thank you for coming in. You can see more What no way? There's no more what do you don't look at me like that? What is he doing? Oh? Good. Oh, there's no more. What? Don't look at me like that. What is he doing? Oh, good.

Oh, he's got a sign. What is this? Don't touch me. You've done enough. Patreon.com, backslash, Coco Puffs. Yeah. Well, let him help Mr. Cassie. Look.

You idiot. Look at the fucking screen. There. Okay, pay for that. That's last Coco Puffs. Is it a link for? Yeah. Of course, they're donating real money to it.

Already bucks, man. I noticed that both neither, I mean, it's not as powerful as yours, which is why I thought you would, you know, promise to help me out. Whatever. Whatever. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. It's the next Tuesday. Well, you really outdid yourself with that explosion of glitter. That was a lot of fun. Audible gasp. All right. See you guys later. Bye, everyone.

All right, see you guys later. Bye everyone.