The Dick Show - Episode 15 – Dick on Bill Burr

Episode Date: September 13, 2016

Download the MP3 The alchemy of a bender, Hillary Clinton halts and catches fire, the black vote, my life coach’s secret Twitter account, Bill Cosby’s Democracy in America, I learn what is an AA, Denzel’s dream body, my workout routine, my reaction to Bill Burr’s reaction to me and the ensuing inception, the media; all … Continue reading "Episode 15 – Dick on Bill Burr" The post Episode 15 – Dick on Bill Burr appeared first on The Dick Show.

Yeah Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you guys like that. I'm spicing up the my own theme song That's a remix where I do little giggling thing. Ooh, during the theme song. I spiced it up. Now I'm adding additional spice because that guy told me it's too much spice.

It's actually not enough spice. That's what he didn't realize. There can always be more spice. That's what the whole Sriracha craze has taught me. Always more spice. That's what people look. Hey, I've got welcome to Dick. You want Dick, you love Dick, you need Dick. Sean is reaching around grabbing a dick.

Everybody wants more dick. You got it, it's the podcast where everything is a contest. I'm your host, Dick Masterson. With me today is as always, except for last episode is Sean, the audio engineer. Hello, Deck. How you doing, Sean? It's been a long time.

It feels like it's been even longer because we recorded that one episode early. I know. So it's been like, what a week and a half since we've sat down in this crucible, this chamber of tortures. Yeah. That is my Frankenstein studio apartment now.

I'm trying to wedge myself back in here. I read it in a comment saying like, how hard could it be to get a studio in Ella? Very fucking hard. Well, how many times have we tried? We tried to get a studio. This motherfucker drumming on Father's Day on Sunday morning with an NPC click,

turned up to about 500 decibels. So hard that the studio bounced like a cartoon, shooting debris and bricks everywhere, like on every 40 times a second or twice a second. Did it not do that? Well, that's the thing that people don't understand is there's a million rehearsal spaces available. Those aren't sound proofs.

They're not meant to be. They're meant to be secure and to kind of muffled the sound. Trust me, you got a guy with a kick drum, like practicing rudiments to an NPC. You're going to fucking hear it. You're not going to be able to get it out of the mic. That's going to be fucking annoying. How many musicians are out there practicing every week,

every day for what? People here, people in the world, like so many man hours are going into, and every motherfucker in the world wants to solve every problem with, well, you gotta learn an instrument. You know what you got to instrument up? You got kids? They gotta learn an instrument, really? I know about six.

You know how, the only thing they help me do is get laid. That's it. Well, you don't wanna teach a kid, like they don't need to learn JavaScript. I got a feeling that's gonna be around for a long fucking time. The kid doesn't need, the kid does not need to pick up the piano. I know how to play a piano. Do I sound well adjusted?

Every month, how many fucking people in the world are playing instruments? Like, it's like, I picture like in the 30s, some like tonic salesmen going around, every this old, cure what ails you, they'll put the pep in your step, they'll put the gym in your jab, they'll put the humdinger in your sum digger, learn how to play a guitar, you'll love it,

it'll change your whole fucking life. And then I'm sitting over here, Denzel is with me, Denzel is back, the whole host with the Momo, Stenzel, say hello. Hey there. Great, Stenzel, it's standing over here. You're an actual engineer, correct? You know, honey, but do you know how to play any instruments?

Absolutely. You're an engineer of black studies major. Yeah, he's the bad guy in die hard. Yeah. The guy that sits in there going, wow, that's gonna be a merry Christmas for me. That's then, you're a reboot of that guy, but in real life. Yeah.

Yeah, he's more like Samuel Jackson than in Jurassic Park. Yeah, yeah, I can see that. Yeah, which smoke. Do you go like hold on to your butts? Yeah. Before you compile anything, like hold on to your butts and then he resets the system. He's like, God damn it. Even in Jurassic Park, they blame it.

That's institutionalized racism. That you're watching Jurassic Park and you're a kid, but in your subconscious, you're thinking, hey, wait a minute, it was that black engineer that fucked this whole thing up. It wasn't Nedry, he was just trying to make a buck. No big deal. And that's why he had to die.

Right away. That's why the black guy's always done. He doesn't even know this. He doesn't even get an on-screen death, does he? His arm is just hanging out through some pipes because those raptors thought it would be funny. Is there so fucking smart opening doors and setting up pranks and practical jokes and preparing this long con of being able to suckle at Chris Pratt's

teeth like the one wants to then Zell is back. You're an engineer. Would you trade engineering for playing an instrument ever in your life? So depends on what instrument and how famous I could get on this. The skin fluid. Oh, what are you? What are you can get famous while playing that? Pretty famous as it turns out.

What he made? What? What's playing the skin fluid? playing that pretty famous as it turns out pretty what he made what playing the skin flute? Yeah, this famous skin flu Famous No sucker you know When you could be his famous is Paris Hilton then you got to play the skin This is getting way off. You can be what if you can be sick free, but not Roy I'd be fine with that. Yeah, he the one that got his face bit off. No, no, that was Roy. Okay. Yeah Roy was Roy was it Yeah, Roy was protected by the tiger.

Man, can you imagine that there are, there's old people going in that show, just not even, not even thinking that those guys are gay. And these people are voting and living life. Like they're like Liberace fans. Did you ever see that behind the candle lobby? I didn't. We're Liberace. You're saying like, yeah, I got to keep it a secret because most of the old ladies,

and well, it's old ladies that come to the show just don't think I'm gay and it would bother them. Sure. That's Zigg Freedon Royce. Like, this is a real mind that exists. This is a mind that we have to share the planet with. It's like, I get on these, I get on these tangents and I feel like Agent Smith and the Matrix.

I'm like, you people are a, it's your thought process that is so disgusting to me. It's like a virus. How do you never just think? Like, well, it never occurred to you that these guys might be plugging it up each other's Pope's shoes. It's like, what the hell's a matter with you?

Why are you, how are you so sheltered? And why do you need it? Do you need it? Is that upsetting to you that these guys who dress in capes and enter to, they wanna entertain you? Name on one hand the number of men in your life that seek to entertain your fucking ass. Zero bitch, cobblam.

Like that's what, they want that, they want, oh, anyway. Welcome back. I hope you got something. Do you have something good for us today? You said you. You you very reserved. What are you doing?

You're very reserved. Yeah. Me a very reserved. That's why he's a really mellow host. That's because he's so mellow. He's leading the rage board, isn't he? No. No.

My man has cut my man in a in his drug-induced manic hysteria for his brain. That was a great episode, by the way. I got that you seemed to have reservations about it. Well, I don't know if I'm allowed to say that on the air. Well, you're a lot. This is the dick show. I don't know if you're saying that. Well, dick is a confident guy.

By the way, but you had reservations about that show and I listened to it when I was mixing it down. I was fully entertained. I got back from a really good remote show. Thank you. I got, well, you didn't need that qualifier. It was good. You included the cap of the remote show.

I did. I did. Okay. This is what happened. I get back from Burning Man and I drop off a hot load of steaming audio into Sean's lap that I have, that I have like, that I have a low degree of confidence in because it was recorded in a van with a man with my man who about 10 minutes into the show My man who about 10 minutes into the show starts, he's on a 30 hour bender, right? And if you're like, like he'd been doing, he'd been doing whatever he was doing.

He was up all night at Burning Man getting married and getting married. And his wife is a pistol. Like she's the, she's, she's a runner. You ever dated a runner before? Like she'll go, you're sitting down with me like they don't, they don't want to have sex and they bolt. No, not a runner. You ever dated a runner before? Like she'll go, you're sitting down with the second second. They don't want to have sex and they bolt. No, I don't know. No, no, no.

No, Sean, I mean in the, I'm not in coachness what I'm talking about. Oh, brilliant. This is not a euphemism. I mean, she literally wants, she gets drunk and she wants to sprint. Like I get drunk and I want to climb. When I get, she's like, she acts like she's on speed or something. Yes.

Maybe she wants, I don't fucking know, he's burning, man. So that's his night though. They're going from bar to bar and the second she tunes out of a bar, she's gone. She's speeding to the next one. She's got like little flames in the back of her feet

that you've got to chase her around. Me, I'm a climber. If I'm drunk and I see something to climb, I think I'm Donkey Kong. Like I go for the nearest princess Paulina and I start scaling the bed and I get up there stomping around like a sumo guy. I've seen it. Yes, I don't know why I just want it. I want to do it. Some chicks there are runner, some guys there are climbers. This girl's a runner. So my man is up all night chasing his soon-to-be wife around. They get married. And you know, when you're on a serious sleep deprivation slash

liquor slash drug binge, like the alchemy required to keep your mind operating is very precise. It's like Apollo 13 where Captain Tom Hanks draws those lines on the window and he's like, all right, where I got a nuclear rocket behind me and I got an angle this two degrees and not fuck it up and then he kicks it on and it starts spinning around like a fucking gyroscope. He's like like oh my god Jesus like why did I even draw those things on the window?

Why was I why did I even set some beers up? Why did I say I was gonna take all this Molly by 10 when I had no intention I'm doing so I've done it all at once. I'm freaking out. So he's managed to keep this alchemy going until When did we record that thing like 2 p.m. or something after his wedding? We recorded it after his wedding. That's cool. It was cool, man, because it is really the, I feel like it is the end, it is the conclusion of a trilogy in his life. Like when he came back to live with me, he was at a low and he's been having these adventures

on these like, like what I, what I love about my man is that he is always down for an adventure. Like he's, life gives you challenges and it's like very, it's like a back to the future thing, right? Like you get the presentation of a challenge, and you either let it go because of an excuse, or you just do it and you fail. You always fail. There is never a success.

Like that's what people don't get to like, well, I might fail. It's like, might, you will absolutely fail. It will never be as good as what you want it to have been. Like that's the, that's why it's a, that's why it's a failure, but you're failing upwards because at least you tried and he will always do that. So ever since I first brought him in, where he came back to live with me, he's been, in my mind, he's been failing upwards.

And he now, I mean, he's got, well, he's married. Let's just go with, with he's married. You can be cynical about the burning man wedding. You cannot be cynical about the way I don't care. Oh, he's legally married, right? I, what the fuck is the difference? Like everybody says legally married. I'm like, that piece of paper doesn't make like someone

not fuck someone else. They're like, no fuck you. Like what? It's a, it's a legally binding contract. Yeah, but like, it's a legally binding contract. But what is, but Sean, what the fuck is that? No, no. But I'm saying like you're right.

Like you're forming a corporation. Yeah, but like, what are they gonna split? I mean, it's automatic. That's a romantic. No, man, you said that's, that I'm stipulating the difference between a real wedding and a fake wedding. But I'm stipulating back at you,

the pointlessness of like distinguishing between a and not because like if you have spent way too much time at burning man And it didn't work this year. I'll tell you what so you have drug yourself retarded But like the legal part only matters if you have any kind of estate to divide. Oh, I know there Yeah, what's 50% of nothing, right? What's 50% of a clock in the desert of a van that we used to record a podcast? Like, he wouldn't, and he's not going to court. Like, what's the legal, the legal part?

This is a fucking document. Yeah, I mean, by legally married, I mean, did he like, file the paper work? I doubt it. Was there somebody who could, was there a lot to marry? Did you marry the mother? Did you marry the mother? No, it was a No, it's a serious say I'm not I'm not licensed in Nevada. First of all, I can only do that shit in California.

And I'm sure the earth mother got us a petunia balls or whatever the fuck petunia popery or whatever lie in name was who actually married them the efficient. I'm sure she filed all the necessary paperwork. I mean, come on, what do you think this is? People pay big money to go to that event. It's a lembranian setting. I think of Burning Man, it's paper, having everything in order.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Legitimacy. Legitimacy. So we roll in after the wedding, and I am, everyone is high on emotions, and high on a number of other things, and that's when it hits my man, I am, everyone is high on emotions and high on a number of other things. And that's when it hits my man, I think, that his alchemy has been thrown off.

Like significant, because nobody can plan for a wedding. You can plan for a lot of things on a drug bender, but you cannot plan, you can plan for a car race, you can plan for a flug talk, am I right? So, legally. You can plan for a movie, You can plan for a movie. You can do exactly the right amount of drugs and liquor and maybe put a little sharky's flat plastic flask in your pocket to carry you through the movie.

But you can't plan for a wedding. So he hits that van and does whatever he does. I don't know. I don't want to speculate and fuck up his personal and professional reputation. But I get about 10 minutes into that podcast. I don't know. I don't want to speculate and fuck up his personal and professional reputation, okay? But I get about 10 minutes into that podcast, and his eyes start bouncing around, like he's watching an invisible pond game

on an Atari 2600 that's been overclocked with a fucking two gigahertz prasa. Like, you could hear it happen. You could, so what is the time code? As soon as he, well, it's about, I want to say it's probably between 20 and 23, 24 minutes. Okay. It's as soon as you guys were talking about the wedding pictures, and then you said, there's

this person, this person, this person, and he goes, and a cat. And a cat. It's the invisible cat. So I said, and you're like, and the cat. And the cat. So there was no cat. There was no cat. cat. And the cat. So there was no cat. Well, so here's what happened. Maybe there was a cat minor.

I mean, did you, by the way, did you edit anything else, anything out of that? Like I love, I love you having a very light hand on the edits on this show because I don't think I'm letting the fuck up through. Like I think, no, I even let the recording will get through. Yeah, I even let, no, I let some of the quote unquote, off air shit through. Okay. You know, like, I mean, it was like, like,

I think of everything that my man said about Jews in, when I'm like 20 minute ran. He really did. That was pretty cool. No, it was pretty cool. No, it was, I might have cut 30 seconds total of dead space. Oh, I love you. That's great.

There was nothing gone. That's great. That's great. That's great. Uh, cause the breakdowns are the funding is parts of me. Oh, I love you. That's great. Nothing gone. That's great. That's great. The breakdowns are the funniest parts of me. Oh, I know. Anyway. I know.

We go over the guests at his wedding and I'm going over the other couples, Steely Dan Vows and the Ferrell children running around. They're covered in, by the way, like the idea of people bring children to Burning Man. And man, it is a, I have seen some great parents there who treat it like a camping trip and they're always watching the kid and the kids are just having a great time. I can take it. They seem okay, but then I saw some really disgustingly bad acts of where a guy is holding

his child in like a blaring, a camp with blaring music. Like I'm sitting there trying to post the episode last week in this camp because it's close to Wi-Fi and the music is just hammering and this guy is like trying to soothe his screaming kid in the back. And I'm just, I'm looking at this thing and dude, like what do you come on man? Like there's something in you that's forcing the kid into this and it's overstimulated? You got to get him the fuck out of there. This kid can't be in.

You got to get this kid out of here. Yeah. Overcaffeinated puppies running around there. Bernie Man's interesting, because there's a lot, there's a tremendous amount of great people and there's just a tremendous amount of scumbags there. Yeah. Anyway, my man gets in that van. His eyes start bouncing around and I'm suddenly, I'm worried about like nobody wants to hear drunk people. You know, like, no, they're only interesting to themselves. They really are and they see it back, they're usually horrified. And entertainers fall, they fall for this trap

a lot where they think that what will be really great and raw is if they get drunk. Yeah. High. And then everyone will love to see that. And it's this like weird narcissistic thing. They use hulshin that they go ahead. They used to really encourage drinking on all the late shows. They really push guests.

Yeah, for their actors. Guarantee for the guests for the host. really pushed guests. Yeah, for their actors, guaranteeing for the guests, for the host, not so much. No, true. Which is why I wasn't drinking that day. Okay. But, I'm sorry to say it. Everybody loved it.

Everybody, people are even saying the audio was better in the van than it is here, Sean. I don't know. I'm sure, no, yeah. The car is one of the best places to record. If you can, if you can bring it in, because think about it, it's made to be quiet. There's no right angles. There's a bunch of absorbent material. If you can, if you can bring it in, because think about it, it's made to be quiet. There's no right angles.

There's a bunch of absorbent material. If you get away from trying, oh yeah, cars are better than this room any day of the week. And there was a bed there. Oh yeah, no. We got a, we got a deck deck this place out with some food time. I'm telling you, it's from a abandoned here.

What you really need is like a huge walk in closet and good luck getting all of us in there. Somebody's gonna come out. Yeah, that's trapped. And we'll all be locked in the closet for two hours. All right, and my life coach is here. Right there. Somebody's going to come out. Trapped, and we'll all be locked in the closet for two hours. All right, and my life coach is here. He's back. You've got a rage for us. Everyone's going on the board today. You know that everyone's going on the fucking board.

You're going on the board. Don't tell you're going on the board. Sean, you're never going on the board because it would be too disheartening for anyone who had to come in and challenge you because you would dominate with 100% rage factor on the board. A lot of stuff pisses me off. Do you remember a good mutual friend of ours? He goes, you know what I love about Sean? He fucking hates everything.

The suit, you talking about. The little man, the suit, suit man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He would also say, he went on about an hour car ride with Sean and I one time. And I think we were right. We were riding back to this place that we lived in a house together, Sean, myself and the suit.

He is, isn't he? He's a family man. He's a great guy. I love him. Yeah, I told him. I flew to see him to watch, only to watch the movie Dread when it came out. I flew up, met his kids, but the entire purpose of the trip was just me flying up there to see Dread.

And a number of fuck ups happened there. First of all, he didn't tell me that his wife was six months pregnant. Like I was like, hey, let's do this. And I get there, which is a miserable time to be entertaining company for a woman. I'm mad. They just think, they blow their pregnancies. This is such a big deal. I'm gonna, whatever.

It's just like carrying a little watermelon around you. So that was strike number one. Strike number two. I carry coolers to the beach all the time. It's just hard walking in the, I don't want the baby, whatever. 80 pounds of ice and fear. And I decided to bring the cooler to the beach. You time. It's just hard walking in the, I don't know what the fuck. It's the big deal. What? You know, 80 pounds of ice and fear. And I decided to bring the cooler to the beach.

You decided to get pregnant. It's the same thing. You don't let, just sit down. Whatever. You don't always gotta be walking around. So number two, the girl I was dating at the time when I made the, I made the plane reservations and we bought the tickets and we're having,

we were having a real good time planning out out She goes, oh, that's my birthday So if you do that you're gonna be out of my you're gonna be out of town on my birthday. I want to see you Your birthday comes every year dread only comes out once exactly. She break up with you for that I broke up with her twice. That's a good story though. So See I had burning man leftovers cover, but let me do that in the bonus episode. Everybody's probably sick of Burning Man. We've got, I've got a rage for you. Hillary Clinton has just pulled her greatest weekend at Bernie's impression that I've ever, like I wanted to talk about her, but I don't know why people are denying

that there's something wrong with her. There's clear, this is not conspiratorial. There's fucking something wrong with her. Sean, have you seen her getting loaded into, it's like the moron ran out of body bags, and her handlers are loading her into a fucking van. Like a fucking schoozer falling off. Like I mean, she's out on her feet. It's like if it wasn't, if she wasn't

running for president, this would be a, this video would be in poor taste that we were sending around because someone was so horrifically sick and ill. You nailed it, right? That's how I knew it was bad because I don't think a lot of this woman, but my gut, visceral reaction was, oh my gosh, I hope she's okay. I mean, it was, it was pretty scan. It hit you. I think she hopes to win. And then if she dies, Bill becomes president.

Why wouldn't that happen? Yeah, exactly. I don't understand. I know. You're the only one who didn't take that as a joke. No, I don't, I don't think it's a joke either. I didn't hear a lot of laughing. It's got some gears turning.

Like, well, yeah, okay. There's a really nice. I didn't hear a lot of laughing. It's got some gears turning, like, well, yeah, okay. There's a really nice national inquiry cover that's got our looking like Emperor Palpatine. It's Hillary Clinton, six months to live. She does look like Emperor Palpatine. You saw that? No, but she does. No, she, you know what, Danielle, let me ask you this. You know, everyone who comes on this show

is a representative of whatever group they're, they even remotely appear to be, to me, right? Yeah, good. Densel is Irish. I mean, very. Yeah, so as a representative of Irish people, you know that your vote is extremely important in this election, right?

Yeah. So I was in important in this election, right? Yeah. So I was in, important in like sneer quotes. Wait a minute, why do you think that's a sneer quotes? Because I think it's extremely important. Because they're not touting votes based on what racial background you come from

in the official count. It's not like, Oh, these black people counted, these votes are only worth three-fifths those of the white votes. So, you're saying, well, everybody gets one vote, so it does demand. Here's my counter to that, though.

There's tremendous similarity in the group dynamic of voting. Like, I do know that Democrats have to sustain a certain amount of the black vote. Like, it's extremely high. So it seems like there, like that is a surprise to me to even see. Like what's, why is this so disproportionately high, right? Why is it that the black vote is counted as a given for Democrats? Yeah.

And it's like I was in an Uber pool the other day. It's driving from a mechanic to the office, whatever. It doesn't matter. And the driver was black and the other, the pool passenger was black. And man, it was a heated Trump Hillary conversation. Yeah. The entire way. And I have, like, I don't see that, I don't see that played out on television.

I don't hear about that played out, but I know that there's a tremendous amount of time spent on the black vote in the black demo, like looking at, just looking at the big picture, race relations seem fucked to me. And it seems like there's a tremendous amount of contention over them. So much so that I don't think anyone's actually talking about them and that everyone's

just shying away. Like the one point of clarity I saw in all the past months of BLM cop violence and all these stats that get thrown at you constantly that don't mean shit to anybody. Like, be clear, whoever kills more of who, however many percentage, whatever the effect of body cameras doesn't matter. What I see is an NFL star. Staging a massive protest on like America's game at the beginning of the NFL season basically burning money to make this statement. And my thinking is what the fuck, like what the fuck is going on here? Like Colin, Colin, of course I'm talking about it.

Like he can write a ticket, he can say whatever it was, but that's not the point of clarity. The point of clarity, the only point of clarity I've seen in all of this was when Michael Jordan donated a million bucks to, I think it was the NAACP and a million bucks to cop charities and said, and he didn't even know what to do. Like, and this is a man who has fuck you money. I assume he's a national, he was a star of space jam for God's sake. He's got to man who has fuck you money. I assume he's a national He was a star of space jam for God's sake. He's the only money. He owns money I was watching space jam everyone shit on that movie and I'm guilty of shitting on that movie when it came out for his

Terrible acting but as I'm watching it. I'm thinking this motherfucker is acting to nothing and nobody like he's giving reaction And he's a professional basketball player. And baseball player, don't forget that. But he's giving reactions to stuff that he can't see and do with nobody else and with with looney tune actions that are animated in ways that they're not typically animated. Like that movie came out and you're like, this isn't the looney tunes. These peep, these fucking looney tunes aren't frauds. They're moving all goofy like they're like that weird Russian Kermit and that Muppets

movie where Kermit has an impostor. It's not so look I'm asking what like I see the one the the black Trump supporter. He started as a Gary Johnson guy and as the Uber pull went along, he was saying, look, Hillary is she just lies constantly like he was saying, look, Hillary is, she just lies constantly. Like he was saying, right out in the open. He was saying that she can't, like he was saying, he was listening to Hillary Clinton. And she was talking about the VA and her response was, I'll have a meeting about it every week until it's fixed.

And the face stands out that you're making is exactly his response. Like that's preposterous. Yeah. I can't call my parents every week. The face stands out that you're making is exactly his response, like that's preposterous. I can't call my parents every week. I could barely do this show that accounts for a substantial income every week. Like, you're going to talk, first of all, I don't believe you. And secondly, what the fuck are you talking about? You have that call three times.

You have that call once to find somebody to fix it. You have that call a second time to make somebody know that they better fucking fix it or they're fired. And the third call is way to go, you did it, or you are fucking fired, I'm gonna hang you because I'm the president. Like let me make that, and that was his response. That was the guy riding the Uber pull with me.

And then the driver's response was, well, Trump's a bigot. And I was like, what is this, is this the gap that we're covering here? No, it's not necessarily even that. So from my perspective, it's just people who don't feel like looking up facts, just straight up. Like I'm myself, I'm in a position to where I don't care. Like I don't care about Hillary,

I don't care about Trump. So I'm literally just letting you know whatever information comes to me. So if the information available is in my Twitter feed, I follow coach on Twitter and I follow one. So you're the one on Twitter, but he's so shy about it. He doesn't want to drop the Twitter bomb. Now, yeah, do you want to?

No, you're good. No, he doesn't. He's a man of conundrums. He makes a Twitter, tweets all the time, doesn't want to tell anybody about it. Yeah, fair enough. Hey, that's is right. But either way, I don't go out and search for information.

I just, it comes to me. Oh, yeah, exactly. So, I mean, like from God. Yeah, I see it on mountain. Oh, yeah. I praise the sun, wait for the information to come down via text message. Yeah.

But either way, like if the driver is of that same mentality, then that's why he thinks Trump is a bigot. Because he's getting his information from people who are framing what Trump is saying as big a tree. So this is the thing. I think that the Democrats over the past few decades have done a great job of selling the idea that Republicans are racist and they don't care about you because of your color. I think that finally it's getting to the point where, first of all, most they don't care about you because of your color. I think that finally it's getting to the point where, first of all, most people don't care about facts, right?

It's all about perception. So they've done a good job of selling that perception. They are on a in tenuous place because they have to keep, like you said, like 90 plus percent of the black vote. Yeah. So it's that it's that high. It's huge. I know it's an overwhelming majority. If they get 80 percent, they lose. Wow. It's a landslide. If they get 80%. Isn't that shocking? That shocking that it's as high as 90% getting to the point now where I think sorry to interrupt, but only it wasn't that many decades ago that black people voted Republican because it was the party of Lincoln. We're talking, I've brought this up before. We're talking the 40s and 50s. Jackie Robinson broke the collarberry was a staunch before. We're talking the 40s and 50s. Jackie Robinson broke the collarberry.

It was a staunch Republican. This was before the Southern strategy and that kind of stuff. He wasn't the only one. They felt like the Republicans. It was the party of Lincoln. Free the slaves. So what's happening now is you've got decades of Democrat rule in certain cities. And actually the Republicans point to this

and be like, like Trump is doing, saying, how's that working out for you? Yeah. That is like, I thought that was awesome when he said what do you have to lose? Just look around. That hits them at home. I thought that was one of the dumbest things

I'd ever heard. Really? Why? What do you have to lose? That's a big thing. Because that was big on that too. It's literally like, so tell me what I have to gain. Yeah, let's see, but psychology says the thought of losing something is what motivates decisions.

So if you're told by, let's say if you're told by other people that you have something to lose, then he's trying to dispel that, like the idea of losing something to people is way more fearful than the idea of losing something to people is way more fearful than the idea of not having gained something. That's an absolute truth. I have to say you're a ecology of it, but to me as a person, like let's say he was speaking directly to me. Like, what do I have to lose?

Well, tell me what I have to gain. No, yeah, okay, but you're a thinker. You are in the top probably one out of 101% of people who actually think about it, right? He's talking to the people. Thinking privilege. You don't look. You can't get a 90% block of votes

from any cross-section of thinkers. He's talking to people who basically are like, oh yeah, the Democrats tell me Republicans are racist, therefore I'll vote Democrat. So now that's the only factor coming into it. Now he's saying, okay, well, how has that worked out? Are they helping you? You know, they need one thing, they need one thing to switch them over.

That's why he's saying it in my opinion. Okay. Well, according to that Uber pool I took, it was something's happening. Like I've never seen any in the entire span of the ride, the guy, my rideshare partner went from, I'm protest voting to Gary Johnson to just saying, yeah, you know what? Fuck it. Fucker. I'm voting Trump.

Nice. It's like, wow, man. And you know, the guy, the guy, the Uber guy was not happy about it. You know what else about Uber? You get an Uber and every, you're making conversation. If you are making conversationally, how's Uber working out for you?

How's this Uber ride pool working out for you? Every time, every time it's the same response. Real bad. Real bad for us, but great for you. Wait, wait, wait, the driver say this? Yes, yeah, every fucking time. And every fucking time, real, real bad for us, but great for you. Wait, wait, wait, the driver say this? Yes, yeah, every fucking time, and every fucking time, like, oh, that's your fault. You're the one driving and lowering everyone else's

way, not me, I can't be dry. If I, if you could, I'd hire you to carry me from bed into the shower every morning, but Uber app doesn't cover that yet. There's not my fucking fault. I'm using this as much as I can. All right, let's get, let's go around the horse. I got one more that makes me a rage, because it's back to school time. And everybody knows I fucking hate school. But Denzel, I want to hear from you first. What makes you a rage?

So, I was chilling in the hashtag Dick show, hashtag the Dick show, IRC channel. Very different. Very different. Very different. I'm very different. I'm a real, I'm a real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, the hashtag dick show hashtag the dick show IRC channel.

Very different. Very different. Very different. Very different. And somebody had posted an article. First, I want to say shout out to the IRC. Those guys are chill. They're great.

They fixed Sean's clock. Oh, did they? Yeah. Derek Gouli, an IRC fixed senior to clock. That's right. They are. They are. I guess hung up in your room. It's just like, no, I know what time it is.

It's like clock. Not even a broken step. He just sees and goes, yeah, give me that. I could use that. How do you mind chocolate? I'm not used that. I need a clock. It was to me.

Okay. Damn. I'm practical. So they had posted an article saying that the government wanted to bring to the people's attention that if you have a marijuana card, a weed card, medical marijuana license or certificate or whatever, you are not allowed to own a gun. And to me, that's the most absurd shit that I've heard in a very long time. How the fuck are you going to regulate whether or not I can use gun if I have a weed card,

but this fucking crazy dude with schizophrenia can go purchase one, either leave everybody alone or regulate everybody, one or the other, and you're not fucking regulating everybody. And I can tell you that much. You're not doing it. So leave me the fuck alone. Congratulations, you're a felon.

Yes. That's basically what they do. Yeah, I'm a felon. I could That's basically what they do. Yeah, I'm a fel. I could probably go to prison for a very long time. I don't know how to rescind my weed card. Do I just put it in a shredder? Is that what I do? I don't even smoke weed.

I literally bought it. Or, yeah, I guess you purchased a weed card. Yeah, you bought it. I purchased this weed card because a friend of mine was visiting from NorCal. You got to get them weed. Yeah, you buy it. I purchased this weed card because a friend of mine was visiting from NorCal. You got to get them weed? And he wanted some weed. So I was just like, oh, I can just go get this weed card real quick and I'll go pick

something up. What's your ailment? My, I said I have really bad anxiety. Oh, okay. Is that true? No. You just make it up? I did.

Yeah. I did. Where are you like putting it on and chewing your nails and like doing a little community theater piece. I was just like, I can't, I, at night, I can't sleep very well. I have like, I have terrible anxiety. Sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night and be in a cold sweat. My heart's racing. Can't breathe well. It's just like, well, have you tried this prescription drug? I can't remember what it was. Initially, I was like, oh, I was taking Xanax, which is not true. Well, but that would work. Yeah, it would.

It would. What you would take, probably. Exactly. I find that most of my drug purchases, you got this license to help your friend out. You're saying, I find that most of my drug purchases, unfortunately, are for friends. Like because I happen to be the doc brown in my circle of friends between people who follow the rules and the Hicadula, their lives away, like they go to work at a nine to five, they don't know anyone who's been to prison. They like, they invent laws that they have to follow. They file their taxes every day.

That's like one side of the people that I, they change their oil at 2,000 miles. Yeah. And they argue with them, they try to pay more. That's how good they are. They don't watch television that they didn't pay for. They'll go over to someone's house.

If they don't have that cable channel and their own subscription, they plug their ears and go la la la la while everybody's wide and they keep their eyes closed. That's one side. It's like Hank Hill. Yes, that's one side of my circle of friends. That's the right side.

The left side is just people who are Mad Max. Like if you dress them up in war outfits, they don't understand property ownership. Like they don't understand, but, like they don't understand, boy, they think they're sovereign citizens, like they, they really, they, and it's that, like they just, they just don't have a conception of, they're like, you elect a president for every four years? Didn't know that. Didn't know that. That's one side. Like they, they, they borrow and steal is the same to them. They're like, I'm just borrowing it.

I'm just, but they're both sides are productive. Both sides have the same psycho mentality that makes people effective in life. They just apply it in radically different ways. Like it's really, if you take the highest performing CEO, I think, I think, and took away his entire background and just put him in the middle of the ghetto, he would imply that same industriousness to crime.

Like if he doesn't have any other option. This is what the psychology leading psychologists who study serial killers say, is they have that same type of mentality as, say, like a high end like a CEO of a billion dollar company. Or an Air Force pilot that same kind of rush that type of personality, but they think based on their upbringing and things like that, they choose that path as opposed to if they didn't, they would go into some kind of adrenaline, high adrenaline, high danger type job. Well, it's funny. You say that because I find myself wanting to get,

to hook the right side people up with the left side people. I wanna hook them up with the drugs that they want and they need to live. And I don't know why I do it. Like I find myself in a car in the middle of the day on 80s girls birthday, buying an ounce of mushrooms for somebody from someone I've never met before. And I'm like, why am I doing this?

Like what do I have? What is wrong with me that I want it? Like it's not. That's a great question. Right? Like I'm fulfilling this woman's real girl on the right side says, hey, I want some mushrooms, you know, I know where to go. And I mean, I don't know where to go, but I bet you know where to go.

Like she wants access to the funnel, right? So I say, yeah, give me a minute. Throw a few texts around right away. An hour later, I'm like, I'm sitting there and I'm thinking, I don't even want to do these. But I feel some kind of a rush putting this together. Like, it's not even the criminal aspect. It's just about being able to do something for somebody.

Knowing you, I'm gonna say number one, you like to be a facilitator. I mean, why is there a barrier to this? Why can't this girl have these mushrooms? Right, number one. Yeah, I gotta fix this. Number two. This is the same girl that I drove through a McDonald's drive through.

To fix, I like, I need these cheeseburgers. I need these cheeseburgers. I need these cheeseburgers. She needs these cheeseburgers, but she's a timid woman. Like, this is, this is somebody's, the system is taking advantage of this woman. I need to fix this. And that's the second half of it is it's a protest. You know, the fact that you, you're proving every single transaction that goes on on the black market proves how ludicrous the fact that mushrooms are illegal is.

Yeah. It contributes to the entire, you're contributing to that number that says, this is how many mushrooms were sold without the government's consent. And that does make me feel good. Exactly. It makes me feel good to make that number growl.

That's my vote. Yeah. So I'm sitting there with a woman who looks like a moped made out of leather. Like wondering, wondering like, oh shit, that I sink, like this was kind of weird and last-minute, am I about to get busted? Like am I about to get swarmed, right?

Like this was real cloak and deck. Some drug version of Chris Hansen comes out. Why don't you take a seat over there. I just take a seat over there, Dick. So you like mushroom. You like mushroom. Are you pop a smartphone? Like nah, nah, I mean, it's just a woman

that I'm getting it for. I want I never done this. I'm never gonna do it again. Like why are you wearing a smart fat then? Ah, just because I like wearing this, I like looking like a dipshit. So as I'm like panicking about, like as the panic starts to set in,

I'm trying to like psychopath it out. Like don't feel anything, don't feel anything, don't feel anything. She just turns me and she goes, you know, this car would look really nice if you washed it. I think you would look really... What the fuck? And that's when I know nothing is if that's when reality

comes crashing down on me, that I'm buying drugs from a homeless chicken. You would fucking look nice if you got to wash once in a while. Fuck, what the fuck are you talking about? Just hand me that pillow of mushrooms so I can get on about my day, please, Madam. Thank you very much. I'll be texting you next year about this time preparing for Burning Man.

Oh, man, that's good. Yeah. What else do you got anything else on that? So, look, ultimately, you're not gonna tell me. Why do you need all these guns, Denzel? What, because these guns for? I like sports shooting, it's fun. No, no, that's the wrong answer.

The right answer is because the happening's coming, man. The happening. We're gonna elect a mummy. And there's a chance that a mum, that a literal mummy will get elected into the White House. Number one, number two, I will have to eat my fucking book because I told everybody, I wrote in men and women that I would eat a book if a woman is ever elected

a president. So please, for fuck's sake, go out and book. Vote from 2016, I do not want to eat my book. And number three, the happening's coming, man. You've got to be hoarding gold and bullets and guns as many as you can hold. You need a whole room, that man cave. If you've got a man cave, it needs to be floor to sailing, like fort fucking knocks

with guns, like tremors. So, where's some tremors, go ahead. When you say the happening is coming, all I'm imagining are trees, like sucking the oxygen, air, or whatever. So, I have to go run around and shoot trees with my guns. Man, there are everyone's a bad guy in the happening. Shoot the trees, that's where the build-up group got their surveillance devices. That's why you need guns. Man, there are everyone's a bad guy in the happening. Shoot the trees, that's where the build-up group

got their surveillance devices. That's why you need guns. Do you really like sports shooting that much? I mean, this is where people, there's a fundamental problem with the way I think gun people defend their want to have guns. And that is that we excuse it, like it's some kind of luxury for us.

But the real reason is that it's to protect against fucking tyranny. Like that. All right, all right, all right, hold on, hold on. I want to answer questions. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I've found, I looked at my collection and there's like no actual practical reason. I think, you know, you could probably have a pretty well-rounded, practical arsenal of weapons with about three to five, right? You can cover all bases with about three to five guns. The rest is just collecting. I mean, I think they're fascinating mechanical devices.

I just happen to like, you know, the history of the weapon. And that's why I have more than five guns. They are fascinating. Yeah, they're just like the form and function and the combination of a functional mechanical device is that can, you know, do some damage. There's just fascinating to my mechanical mind. So I'm the only one that's gonna tell the truth.

There's nothing wrong with everybody who is into guns, is afraid of the government coming sending them to a FEMA camp. Because that's the truth. You know, you know what'll happen in that instance? What? You put up a fight you're getting killed. Oh yeah.

Like it. Yeah. And that's the point it's to go out with a fight. Right. So if if you're sending shots out of this window into the street on national guard guys, they're just going to send a rocket up into this corner of the building. I got an anti rocket. I could shoot that rocket right out here. Just like Terminator 2 of the arcade game. Those rockets coming me. I'm like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'll take them right out of this guy. So the thing is that it escalates into that, right?

So I was having this conversation recently with someone and they, you know, go to the classic thing, oh, you can't beat a jet or a tank, right? So what's the point of your gun? If your government is doing scorched earth against the someone people, that's a completely different thing. I think that the rubber hits the road always with police first, right? You know, they pass a law that says you can't be XYZ, you can't be Jewish, right? You got to go over here. These types

of things are you never have a successful, it's ground troops, right? Sending rockets and just decimating Hollywood. That's what type of government? That's not what you're talking about. That it got decimated. Well, it's ground troops, right? Sending rockets and just decimating Hollywood. That's what type of government, that's not what you're talking about. That it got decimated. Well, and it needs to happen number two. Yeah.

I should use a different city. Yeah. Somewhere, you know, where there's hope for humanity. Where they can actually drive tanks down streets. I keep interrupting you. What else do you have on? Oh, so essentially it's, you're not gonna tell me that. Somebody who smokes weed is more dangerous than a person

who's drinking alcohol. Oh, there's no way they're more dangerous. Yeah, so if the reasoning for banning or disallowing people from purchasing marijuana or purchasing guns who have medical marijuana cards is like, oh, well, you know, you're more likely to do something stupid after you smoke to joint. Or this is a controlled substance.

Yeah, that stupid thing is eat two pieces. It's a schedule one drug. So therefore, it's still illegal in the eyes of the DA. So therefore, having any of it is a crime. Now, therefore, you can't own a guy. Let me tell you why I think I disagree with you. I have a problem with what Lucie's termed as judicial activism, right? So you and I are sitting here and we both know it's retarded.

The idea that someone who is smoking weed or smokes weed occasionally is at a higher risk of using their gun than someone who's not. The problem is that the law is the law. So I think that the judges made the right decision in that case. I think it brings to the surface how ludicrous the marijuana laws are. But the thing is the judges, in my opinion, can't say, oh, you know what, this is stupid. Yeah, you can violate federal law. You can lie on your form, your federal form, your, to buy a firearm.

And that's cool. That just doesn't jive for me. What's the, what's the lie that you talked about? So I think it's a form 4473. I don't remember the, the, the, it's the, doesn't remember the exact form now. I was going to say that. That's the top of his head when it comes to gun. So anytime, anytime you buy a gun in the United States from a federally

licensed dealer, you have to fill out a form. And one of the questions is, do you, basically, do you do any illegal drugs? Oh, federally illegal drugs. Correct. Okay. Well, that's the thing. It's a federal form. Okay. And it's still federally illegal. So, and this was a unanimous decision by that panel. I think it was a nine circuits decision you're talking about. Yeah. The problem is, I can't pick and choose which judgments, you know, which decisions I want to go my way that aren't to the letter of the law.

Well, this sounds like the gay marriage thing. Like all every state that started cracking down gay marriage forced the Supreme Court to say, ah, you know what, fuck you. Right. Like, it could go. So you know what? Fuck you. Right. Like it could go. So maybe it's a good thing. No. No, I know.

Well, what I, the main issue that I have is that they are regulating this specific thing. And it's something new that's come up in the last, like, I don't know, three or four years, five, six, maybe, with medical marijuana usage. So, one of the big problems that I have with the government is that they clamp down on new shit really tightly and old shit, they just let slide. It's like the grandfather rule for laws. You know what I mean, dude?

Alcohol versus marijuana, I think is a great example. Anyone who, anyone I want to have, alcohol versus marijuana is a great example. Anyone who, anyone I want to have, I don't think you can have an intellectual conversation on whether or not marijuana should be legal or not. If you don't think that alcohol should be made illegal first. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. But the thing is, you're not taking my beer. Well, we prove that. Yeah. America proved that. Yeah. We had the greatest experiment in that in the history of humanity. Well, and it's been called the worst idea of the 20th century for America because it gave

Ron, because I saw all the organized crime, the liquor, because guys like me, I'm a discernment of the liquor, who pull people down in theaters, who steal it from stores, like guys who are action-minded need the liquor. Every, all the other drugs, those guys are not action-oriented. But guys like me, who will wake up and just go, man, I just really, something about this, something about this is just really annoying me. I'm just gonna go fix it. I'm just gonna go put my fists through someone. I'm gonna pull, I'm just gonna go fix it. I'm just gonna go put my fists through

someone. I'm gonna pull, I'm gonna take someone aside and talk to them very, and if that doesn't work, I'm gonna fuck up their car. Like those are not pot heads, right? Right? No, I don't know what I'm talking about. Oh, no. He'll ask me. So what a question for you guys, give up liquor or guns. Zero, like if you had to choose. Well, I give up the liquor, because I could use the gun to get the liquor back. I can't use liquor to get a gun back.

That's true. All right. What about you, coach? Man, I'm thinking. On the mind works. Well, no, I'm saying if you snapped your fingers and you're saying no more liquor or no more guns, are you saying personally?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't know, it's a tough one. I think that self-determination and being able to protect yourself is probably as close to the most important thing, right? I think that depending on whether or not someone's going to try and force you to do something, I think everyone should have the right to say, no, I'm going to do my own thing. So the gun gives you a lot more freedom, liquor to be honest.

I mean, if I could snap my fingers and not drink alcohol, it would probably be in the system. It's not possible. And only there was some way that all of us liquor heads. What do you call someone who needs liquor all the time? And alcohol. That's what that means. That's what that means.

And only there was alcohol. What did you say it was? Alcoholic? There was only some way that this alcohol acts could get support and we could stop. Alcohol act. Like, honestly, if I could just go talk to a bunch of like-minded individuals about why I need to drink so badly,

I think that might just help. I have no fucking control over it. I think it'll make you want to drink more. I think it might make me want to apologize to people that I've fucked with over a long history of this alhallacolism. Maybe. Would you call it alhallacolism?

And if I could, they got to, and they got to gamify it though. Yeah. Because otherwise, you're not going to come back. Like if they- It may give you like a nice little chip or something. But it's going to be like how long I've been doing it because it's like the sunk cost fallacy.

If they could gamify your helacalism with the sunk, like looking at this, looking at some worthless token that says like I've been doing this for a really long time so I don't wanna get rid of that. Cause it's like a short circuit in the mind that makes you think that's important.

When it's really not, you can just go get shit face and then get right back into your treatment program. Well that's no, that's not. I really feel like there's actually someone in the audience is being derailed right now. There's a bread that's no, that's not. I really feel like there's actually someone in the audience who's being derailed right now. There's a brand.

Well, I mean, that's true. The thing that I've, no, it's true. You could be drunk tomorrow. But the thing that I never tried. You could be drunk right now. If you have the motivation. No, the thing about that is, is for something that says, you know, one day at a time,

they sure do mark the passage of time. Yeah. A lot. That's the sun cost. That's the only way it works. Like, you need to not feel like, okay, coach, what do you got? What do you, what makes you a rage? Well, I feel really shitty that I have to follow that up because that's an awesome rage.

I think that's a fascinating. I, I, so polite these guys. I think I'm going to go with what's been making me a rage recently is hypocrisy or like a double standard. Okay. Especially as it applies to the media, I mean, this election, I've been paying more attention to how different media covers the election. And it's pretty stark and shocking the contrast of, I think my favorite one was I saw two

headlines from the same salon writer and said, during McCain's run, I think he was running in 2012, I want to say. They said, you know, he questioned McCain's health. And literally next to that is his article. He wrote a few weeks ago. He said, how dare you question Hillary's help? The double standard and hypocrisy is really,

it's really making me rage lately. Yeah, why do we want somebody running the country who like may or may not wear diapers and probably needs a night light to get to the toilet that's the size of the light on top of the Luxor tower in Las Vegas. Like, why are we electing people who are at their most decrepit to run the most powerful nation in the world?

Seriously, is you think- Why is that? Do you think she has one of those old people tubs where you open the door on the side? I'd like to bend gears now. I imagine that's a powerful image. That's cool powerful image. That's coolest fuck. Those times.

No, no man. I want you guys to sit around. What do you guys do? I'm not motivated. Oh, I'm going to get it. I don't drink, I'm not motivated. I'm not. Yeah, I think it's pretty interesting how people,

I think it's a, I've come to the realization that if you want to have any semblance of being down the middle of the road or being a true journalist, what I consider to be a true journalist is you have to spend more than 50% of your time making sure that you're not biases fuck. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, in this day and age, that's not paying the bills. Right. Right. So that's, that leads us to a different thing. I don't want to get on to a whole tangent. Every time I'm editorial. I think that my pet theory right now is that for a long time,

the actual act of disseminating information was a big deal, right? You need a printing press, you needed people to distribute your material. So just getting news was an actual event. But now news is like, I'm a worldwide newscaster because I have a Twitter account, right? Billions of people can now read my tweet. So now it's opinions that matter.

If you tell something about it. Let me blow, let me completely blow your mind right now. First of all, somebody in the chat, you wanna get access to the chat, go to patreon.com slash the Dix Shothers live stream and this every week everybody's watching. And then afterwards we edit the video down. So it, so it looks great.

So you get all the reaction shots, all the gif, you get it. It's like an hour long gif. That's how entertaining you get a Patreon.com slash the Dix show. Then you get into the chat room. You watch the live stream on YouTube. Somebody's saying, a taft got stuck in the bathtub. So this is, so if Hillary gets elected, it won't be the first time a president gets stuck in the bathtub, right?

Secondly, let me tell you about this is one of the most interesting things I've ever read. It stuck with me for a long time. Alexey Tokeville, the preeminent scholar of young America. Densel, are you familiar with his name? Tokeville, Tokeville. Tokeville, Cain from France. Frenchman came from France to risk the crap.

That was back in the day where if you're an aristocrat, you're driven to somehow contribute something to the historical zeitgeist about your time, about life, about sociology, about the world, about geology, about the sciences. You're not driven to see how many dicks you can suck on Instagram. Yeah. Different time. Different time. That's a different, the money was different back then. Of course, because you get to have actual wealth, different time. So, Alexi Tokvill packs, packs up his baguettes. He's in France and he says, you know what, I'm blowing this place, puts his little beret on and he makes a little jaunt across the,

the ocean to come study. America. And why America is, is why it's great, what's good about it, what sucks about it, and what all this crazy experiment of what is basically French democracy applied to America. And as all these interesting observation, interesting and some are viciously cutting, like he talks about, he talks about us winning the Revolutionary War as if it was a given. He goes, well yeah, of course they're gonna win.

They got a whole fucking ocean between them and Britain. And they got, they got all these like landmarks that they know. It's like fighting in their backyard. Of course they're, and then, but then I think back about as a kid, growing up, you're taught about how it was this big battle and it was like so close. Right. It was like so close. Right.

It was like, we were like rocky and it was and the Britain was like, drogo and Hitler combined to make this super army of space alien mutants that came over to oppress America, even though we were paying less taxes than we are now. I think this is fucking bullshit. You're saying that's on 9-11. What do you mean? This is fucking bullshit. What're saying that's on 9-11. What do you mean? This is fucking bullshit. What are they? They were, yeah, they were like Hitler. Oh, yeah, big league. Britain. Yeah. What do you get me? That was an easy cake walk. That's what Tocqueville says,

and his presentation of it is compelling. Well, I'm just saying I don't like it. Oh, you know, shut up. Fuck outta here. I forgot. What day it was. I never forget. So, so, Topville makes all these claims about about America and you read it and it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a tomb. It's a, it's a voluminous tomb. I let 80s girl read us. She, I let 80s girl read it. She fell asleep after a sentence and a half. That's how, that's how densities is her mind was overloaded Like Kelly Bundy those your those your Cosby move I take the I take democracy in America by Alexi to Tokeville to bars and I tried to trick bronze and

Arribing it. I Tared pages out and I put them under their drinks. So I put them, I hide them in fortune cookies. So hot chicks in Hollywood will open it up. They'll read, they'll try to read a passage from democracy in America by Alexei Tuffil, and they'll fall asleep. And then they'll wake up.

That's when I'll take them home and then they wake up naked and a little bit smarter. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So one of his statement on the media, Make up naked and a little bit smarter. Yeah. Yeah, okay, fuck. So one of his statement on the media, that's always stuck with me, because it's funny.

He's like a funny guy, but in that French way where he's like, you know, I'm only saying this because you can't punch me in my mouth from 200 years in the future. I'm just asking silly questions. He says, he goes, the news in America is something like I've never seen before. It's ubiquitous across the whole nation and it consists of

no news. It consists primarily of advertisements and the remainder is simply opinions. He says that the freedom of the press in America neuters the press. That's his point that it is the freedom of the press in America has lowered it from something that is respectable and should be respected to something that is garbage. And when I read that, I'm like, yeah, that's right. Like, their selling car at all of the media is selling tampon ads. That's all the, that's the only reason they exist. That's why they're great is because they're such garbage. That was my only point because I didn't want, I don't want them to be respected ever,

because they don't deserve it. Like, they're not, they're there to sensationalize and sell. That's their whole shit. Yeah. Every, every, every writer at this point is just a fucking overhyped blogger. Hot takes, hot takes. That's what's all about. I love, I love me some hot takes.

Yeah. Hot takes an edge. It's been that way since the country started. Ah, damn, that's what makes it great. That's what makes it great, because they don't, they don't have shit. They have zero power. They don't have great because they don't have shit. They have zero power. They don't have any pad, they don't hide anything from us. And it's like, there aren't many great writers that are around.

Like I can't name any one of those shit. I can't name any. Yeah. Yeah. So the journalistic standards have never been lower than they are now. Yeah. The vetting of sources, it's really piss poor. Yeah, okay.

You got any more on that? No, I would take too long. That makes it, what do you mean it takes? We are at the formulae, my thoughts. I had a whole fucking thing on school here. I still got a listen to Bill Burr. Bill Burr was talking about me. I was just a quiz.

Yeah, I haven't listened to it yet. Because I was talking about it, but yeah. Did you always talk about it, bro? Because I was driving to Burning Man when somebody said, like, I got texts from tons of people at once saying Bill Burr is talking about it. First of all, if you're going to ruin my image of Bill Burr, I'll leave the room. Dude, I feel this, if he said something fucking, I'm going to be pissed off. About me. If he said, don't worry because I haven't listened to it yet. If he said something shitty about'm gonna be about me. I will. I will. Don't don't because I haven't

listened to it yet. If he said something shitty about me, I'll feel bad for like seriously for the rest of my life. Yeah. Because I love that. I love that guy too. Okay.

I listened to his podcast the entire way back from Burning Man. He's so fucking, when he describes wanting to plant his girlfriend into her head through pumpkins and a pumpkin patch and suffocate her. I'm like, yeah, that's what that's hilarious.

Who doesn't want that's exactly what everyone feels when they're going around pumpkin shopping with their girlfriend. Just since we're doing our favorite bill, Verskits, I love his buying a shotgun bit. What is he saying? He's like, oh, yeah, you know, you buy in a shotgun, buy in a gun, right? You know, you want to go do it and you can't, but you can't bring it home, right? Oh, hey, here, honey, here,, buying a shotgun, buying a gun, right? You know, you want to go do it, and you can't, but you can't bring it home, right? Oh, hey, here, honey, here, I bought a shotgun, you know,

it's where the bullets go and boom, boom, boom, boom. Is it like a chair you bring home, and you're like, oh, we could paint it together. Oh, yeah. That guy's amazing, don't ruin him. Don't ruin him, please. I'm gonna play it now, do you wanna listen to this? Shit, let's go.

I wanted to listen to it, but I thought it would be more entertaining to listen to it live. You haven't heard this. I haven't heard this. So you can hear my, if you rewind this or watch the video on patreon.com slash the dictionary, you can watch my actual heart break in half if he shits on me. So you have no idea what it's about at all. No idea what it's about.

I just got the link for you to to somebody dry run. Well, somebody clipped it off a YouTube and sent me the MP3. No shit. Yeah. So this fucking asshole out there who's biting my style.

I know. Right? No, it's not. He's talking about me and Dr. Phil. All right. Okay, here we go. Let's do this shit. Oh. Oh.

Like a boop. Oh. That was it. No, I don't know how this is edited. It's got, it's coming. Somebody sent me this YouTube video, this guy on Dr. Phil, he's like, Oh, oh.

He has this website called Men Are Better Than Women. God, God, God. He's really like a cartoon showvonist. Cartoon character kind of showvonist, like this and where he's just like, you know, women aren't good at working. I mean, they shouldn't be allowed to vote like he does shit like at that level. Women should not be allowed to vote.

It's ridiculous. A woman president would be a disaster, which is just cartoonish. Yeah. There's a couple of funny things that he says. At one point, he's standing next to an ATM and he's taking cash out. He goes, this is how women perceive men.

This is how they look at it. Okay and he's taking cash out he goes this is how women perceive men this is how they look at Okay, he's laughing then this is what you look like to This is all they're after Which obviously not all of them do but it's so it's such a troll fucking statement Said if you said a lot of women Or there's a sizable group of women that look at guys like this you know and I know there's a lot of broads out there that are getting upset by this but you know

brain now you guys say the same shit don't you guys go on TV in the radio and what's that expression a good man is hard to find yeah you know but for some reason you can't say a good woman's hard to find they are they are hard to find but this guy basically so he goes on doctor fill and so this late this lady starts heckling him and i'm telling you what i say a classic and come back yes this that the comeback this guy has Oh my god, we have any Respectable stand-up comedian on the ground laughing Yes, yes, yes

They do the usual shit. This could not have gone about to get insulted I'm gonna guy insults you. They do you know they they basically females have like I don't know for some reason they they get very limited with their arguing ability. Yeah, it's your big, big, big, big, big, big, big. You're gonna get like your dick size, your sexuality. Yeah, whoa. Or, they say, you're gay.

Yeah, or whatever. So that's basically what this woman is. Or they say, your mom fucked you. Listen to you, I bet you, you don't go out with any women, you know, she attacked them that way and he fucking, he brings the hammer down I don't know what this guy does actually think what he's doing is like a paint by numbers sort of shock

that's really some depth there I mean I challenge anyone to have a gay or ringtone than that okay what's somebody impersonating Gilbert this late this late this late start heckling him and I'm telling you when I say a classic classic comeback oh yeah oh I guess he does I got the gentleman in the glasses that hates me okay yeah yeah

okay yeah yeah yeah if he's ever been with anybody I don't hate women now I'm sure you have different glasses and glasses I fucked that up. You chose these because they were your favorite.

They were better than the others. That doesn't mean you hate the ones you didn't wear. I don't hate women, men. What is that have to do with having a date? Men are better than women. Yes. That's not my answer, my question. I'm sure.

I'm sure. I'm sure Dr. Phil can back the up on it. I'm sure. I'm sure Dr. Phil can back the up on it. Show how you look. Women line up to date guys like me. And you've had them all on your show. You've even been lined up at all.

Good reaction, but not to you. I would definitely be at the end of that line. Well, if you hit the treadmill a little more, you'd be at the front. He's laughing. Wilbur is laughing. I didn't hear you because I'm sure we saw something stupid. I was laughing. He's laughing. That's it. I'm taking. I'm quitting while I'm ahead.

That's fucking great dude, he totally got it. Bill Burr, Bill Burr, totally got every part of what I was doing, right? Like yeah, you can't say, you can't say some or most because then you're just an asshole, it's not funny. It's not funny, you don't get any news coverage. If Trump comes in and says, you know, socio-economic conditions cause a lot of illegal immigrants to resort to crime. That's not that you're

staying at 4% then, buddy. You keep plugging, keep plugging away with your billionaire life. You've got to come in with. Oh, God. Oh, every single one. What? If there was no living with him before oh dude Can you imagine bill burr is gets every part of that every part even the P. I know you like top five podcasts. I am I think so he's definitely top five comedians He's up there No, yeah, no he has a huge following oh my god how great That's great is that? One of the things that bothers me about something that that lady had said is like, I would

be at the end of that line. Well, you're still, you're saying you're still a zombie alive. It's like, come on. You know, it's really how people's wit is, it's not like the arbiter of intelligence. It doesn't say how smart someone is, but their lack of awareness of their complete failure to respond to anything with with. I was talking to somebody on Twitter the other day, and I do it while I'm taking a shit or while I'm bored.

Like just, that's when I tweet. Like I think it's something funny. I'll drop and say, I was talking about, I was talking about, oh, I said, when Hillary Clinton called everyone a basket of deplorables, I said, that's my new name for my dick in balls. God, that's good. I'm big done in my,

and his basket of deplorables. That was my tweet and somebody responded with, oh, it sucks for you because I heard from your wife that that basket of your potatoes is really, your basket is really small. your potatoes is really small. Your basket is really small. And it was like 600 characters. I don't know, maybe bribe someone at Twitter.

Cause it's like, where is this going, buddy? Where the fuck is this insult going? Just say I have a small dick, or do you say I have a small balls? And I said, hey, small, but cause he was a veteran. And I'm like, I'm not gonna fuck with this guy. Like, maybe, I don't know. Not time to dive in. I'm not gonna fuck with this guy. Like, maybe, I don't know. Not today. I'm not gonna fuck with this guy of all day.

I'm not, and I don't really like fucking, I don't really like hammering people on Twitter because it's like, it's not entertaining for everyone. It's like, everybody wants to see the rope of dope where you just keep real and am in, right? That's the joke that I want to hit. So I said, hey, small potatoes make the steak look bigger. Nice.

And he comes back with potatoes more like peas. And I'm like, bud, that's the joke. Like, yeah. That's the joke. That's the joke. That's the joke. Like, that's the joke that you're not getting. Like, when you have to take,

it's like you want to put somebody in timeout. When that's the, that's the modern version of time out. You gotta go, you just wanna call in, you wanna call in Mr. Velvet and say, like, hey, yeah, yeah, he doesn't get the joke. And he walks over and he goes, hey buddy, can I talk to you a second? Like a mafia, so man, and pit boss at a casino

when you've had a little too much to drink and you have a little too much fun, because they hate having fun. They hate anybody having fun while they're taking your money while you're voluntarily giving your fucking money to some stupid blackjack dealer who just got off a boat and learned how to do like she's like, well, I'm doing five. Yeah, but I guess I could deal. Yeah, that when you're giving voluntarily your to your money to these people, you have

it a good time. They don't like you throwing your chips in the air when you're having a good time. So they'll take you side and say, sir, um, I think I just talked you for a minute. That's the joke. And they're like, well, yeah, but I, but I was talking about it, sticking his balls and like, that's the joke. That's the joke. That's the joke. Like, just, just real quick back to deplorables. Yeah. We're longer rights. And Dolan Trump with his basket of deportables. Deportables, which is pretty fun. white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white,

white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white. Uh, let's do, we got to do the bonus episode.

Let's do a lot of the questions on the bonus episode and I'm just going to play voicemail. We can get one in from Dustin. What do you think? What do you guys think? What do you got time for? Yeah, that's what we're going for. We got time for you. You got time for this?

Yeah. All right. Let me sign in. Hey Dustin, hey, how's it going? Good, can you hear me? Yeah, we've taken way too fucking long. It's good to hear it from you again, but we got time for, what, two or three questions for me.

And then let's do it in the bonus episode. Let's go through a lot of a couple in the bonus episode. I have so much fucking content here. I don't know what to do with myself. I just got the big, that's a good problem to have. I guess it is, but it feels like I'm pregnant with all this is exactly what women feel like when they're pregnant. Now I get why they complain so much and why it's such a burden because I feel like I have

all these things to say. I feel like I have all this goodness in me, but I have to harbor it for so long, forever. That's the difference. Pregnant women have it easy because I have to harbor this forever. I have to carry this burden around. They get to unload after nine measly months. No big deal. Dustin, what do you got?

What's your questions? All right, question number one comes from dank bonersmith. Okay. What was one of the most positive life and packing decisions you've made while drunk? And why wouldn't you have made it if you were sober? Oh, great question.

I bought men and men and men on the women.com drunk. That was when my life coach and I were working at the same startup and we were having, it was when domains dropped from $70 to $15. And we were having what was amounted to an offensive domain name buying contest. And that was number one on my list because it was so cheeky. Like you can be more offensive.

You can be more offensive to less people, but you can't be offensive to half 51% of the whole fucking world more than that. So I thought I was. Yeah, that was my balancing point. That was my internal rubric on that one. Like nobody can stop this one and everybody will be kind of embarrassed about telling everybody else and they'll also really want to. Like I've never told anybody about that site. It's always been friends who volunteer the information and then instantly regretted because they see how everybody turns

into a serpent, instantly polarizing. Instantly like you see you got whatever many people half of them will spin on you like a serpent and suddenly you're a different person. Suddenly you represent everything bad that ever happened to them in their life. Very few people have billburrs insight. Very few people have billboards inside. Very few people have bill fucking birds inside. How about that? I gotta send that guy something. He has a podcast. Is he have a PO box like me? You can send me free stuff and Polaroid Nudes to me that I'll send to Sean. Does he have something like that? I gotta send that guy. I've been on this like I actually already sent a message hoping for an answer. Oh my I gotta send him a gift though. I gotta send him a gift though.

I gotta send him a gift. I'll send him a pumpkin so he doesn't have to go buy one. That's for all friends. Justin doing media relations. Yeah. Dusty. Next question from Cameron Spanos. What kind of protein does Dick use for those dope biceps?

I need to be as big as Dick. All right, you want my workout routine? Okay. Here it is. You got five days All right, you want my workout routine? Okay. Here it is. You got five days a week. That's your workout routine. Monday, Thursday is arm day. That's when you do, that's when you do,

you start with the rotator cuff, curls and extensions. I don't know the name for all these things. You go to the cable machine and you do rotator cuff, curls and rotator cuff extensions because you need to work those internal muscles that stabilize your shoulders. Cause you're gonna get ripped. You're gonna get buffed, you're gonna get ripped,

you're gonna turn into a scary monster when you do this routine. So you gotta make sure, you gotta make sure the basics are covered. Like, people don't, people underestimate the little muscles, the little muscles you got there. That's when you fuck, if you do this, if you do these curls,

like over the top curls, we do until you're gonna work out routine by the way. Think about it, keep it in your mind because you're gonna go after me. But prepare it in your head because there's a lot to go over. Rotate your cuff curls, you can armrestle somebody, you will plant them through the fucking table

if you do these exercises. So you do that, you do three sets of 10 of everything. Three sets of 10 to exhaustion. If you hit the 30th one and you do not feel like you need a rub and tug and a hot shower, you fucked up. You gotta go to exhaustion. If you hit the 30th one and you do not feel like you need a rub and tug and a hot shower, you fucked up. You got to go to exhaustion. If you're just starting, start slowly, we'll get to know your body, but when you are plowing through two months in, you should be able to work through exhaustion on the 30th of every one, three sets of

10s, so the 30th would be the last one. You start with the road here, then you do, then I do a little mix of bicep curls because that's what I need. Biceps are tits for men. That's what I need. I need the biceps. I want the bicep. I want to show them off. That's what women want to see. It's fuck leg day. No woman has ever fucked the guy because of his fucking hamstring. Only other dudes are like, oh my gosh. Only other guys are hammering you for not doing leg day. I'm like, how much you fuck off? Like, well, you wanna see my dick and you can make what I'm around doing, dick day, fuck you. So then you do bicep curls and I do some,

I do military dumbbell presses. Is that the one where you go straight up like that? Oh no, I'm sorry, I don't do military number. I do overhead tricep extensions. With like an 80 pound, you know, I do 42 and a half, what, have you ever done the Arnold presses? The Arnold shoulder. What's that?

It's the best shoulder exercise. You start like this. So you start like this and you go up like that and get a little rotation as you go up. You get your, it gets the entire delto. Maybe I'll try that instead of military press because those I find unsatisfying. This is jujune exercise. That military, you'll, you'll feel what I'm talking about. I'll give that a shot. because those I find unsatisfying. This is jujunexercise, that milzer, you'll feel what I'm talking about.

I'll give that a shot. So I do 42 and a half of dumbbell curls, and then I do the, I do like, I think 80 or 85 of overhead tricep extensions, then that's, I do 30 sets of belt rotation. Then I move on to the next station, which is because I got my little chair, I got my 90 degree chair,

which I've had the mad dog somebody at the gym, at the fucking LA fitness for like 20 minutes to get in to get in to the gym. Cause they're on their fucking phone. Cause they're on their fucking phone the whole time doing, I saw a guy doing tricep kickbacks on a fucking chair. I'm like, what is this your first time at the fucking gym? What are you using a hold on to?

You motherfucker, go, go. There's 10 million benches around that you can use for tricep extensions. I use on a fucking 90 degree chair that there's only two of, and one of them works at any given time, go fuck yourself. So I sit, I'm posted up at that chair. Next thing I do is the dumbbell,

the military dumbbell presses. Then I hop off and do some lateral shoulder raises with like 15 pounds and again I got to go on a fucking scavenger hunt to find the 15 pound weights and nobody in the gym can help you when you're looking for weights. It's an Easter egg hunt that nobody set up, that pure ramp, if they ever want to solve like cryptography, random number generation, they should go to every gym in America and find where the fuck the 15 pound weights are. Because they are a pure random, not even God

could make a randomness at this level. There would be no problem with the end of the universe if God had used where people put the 15 pound weights for his random number generation. Pro-todden decay wouldn't exist. So that's what I do. I find the 15 pound weight. That usually takes about's what I do. I find the 15 pound weight. That's usually takes about two and a half hours

to find the 15 pound weights. I do some lateral dumbbell extensions. Then I do shrugs, which is again, a purely vanity exercise. I want them big traps, man. I want traps. I want to look like a pyramid with a head on top of it. I want to look like I have a head on top of it.

I just want to look like a pyramid with a head on top of it. I don't wanna look like I have a head on top of it. Top, right. I just wanna look like a pyramid with an illuminati eye on it from the front, like a flounder, but also a pyramid. That's what I wanna look like. Then I move onto, I used to do bench press after that, but I don't do it anymore because I'm old, I go too hard, I fuck up my shoulders, so I just do the cable cross.

You start up there like 35 pounds of that, pulling down again to shoulders, so I just do the cable cross, you start up there, like 35 pounds of that, pulling down again to exhaustion, but by that time, I wanna go home and jerk off, so that's a legend. And then Tuesdays and Fridays are leg days, so I just make popcorn and sit around watching all the episodes of House and Bojack Horseman Wednesdays. I go for a little hike, but hike to, you know,

a hike car Wednesdays and Saturdays. I used to do a lot of Pilates, but I don't even work know, I, I, I call Wednesdays and, and Saturdays. I used to do a lot of Pilates, but I don't even work as a studio shut down. That's a whole other thing. That's what I do. That's my workout. And so what you work, go ahead Dustin. What's, I think that's gonna help a lot of people,

people have been asking for your workout routine, but specifically Cameron's wondering what kind of protein you take. Is there like a certain, is there a certain, certain protein shake mix you see men, a certain brand besides him, he men. I'm Jesus. Amen. Yeah, I think see man a certain brand besides him. Amen. Jesus.

Yeah. I think it's a standard. So how it's done yesterday, the protein shake. It's a whatever protein powder you use. I go into GNC and I pretend like I'm a best man at a strip club and just hand them my credit card and say, sir, go nuts. Pretend like it's Jurassic Park, money's load me up, I don't give you whatever scam you got,

load it in there, give me whatever you got, because every time I go it's different, I don't, it's all based, like when I take the supplements though, I feel like my eyeballs are about to explode. That's how I know it's working. That's like the pre-workout routine stuff, that's what does that to you?

Yeah. Okay. And I usually have like seven or eight IPAs after, and that's the workout. But, does that tell you what's your workout? Similar? No. No.

It's more or less, it's a program called Wendler 531. And you're working off of percentages based on your maximum or your one right max. So each day has a different exercise and you alternate between upper body and lower body. You have bench press, squat, overhead press, and then deadlift. And you do those exercises. Deadlift, that's like a leg exercise. Yes.

Disgusting. That's deplorable. I just, my dream is to just have those like sexy big like, you can see the muscles in the legs. Yeah, so I can wear these really sexy short shorts and just walk around like a taco and creed. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah, that's a good look for you. Yeah. All right, guns and ties. I get it.

Yeah. I want to look like Johnny Bravo. Yeah. What is the name of that? That's the thing again. Wendler 531. Wendler 531. So if you got a fucking TI85 calculator,

I guess try Denzel's work. All right, one more. We got one more. All right, last question this week comes from Joshua Hemsley. He wants to know, do Feminist ever recognize you on the street? And do you have any like, you have any interactions that you remember that took place like that where somebody just recognized you out in public? You know, I'll tell you, I'll tell it to you on the bonus episode.

That's a good story. Okay. That sounds good. Yeah. Thanks, Dustin. You got it. The winner of the rage lottery for this month, which I do every month. If you're a Patreon subscriber, you get a ticket to come call into the show and get on the board like Denzel, the ho-ho's like coach, like my man who's tearing it up, tearing it up.

You could be the next my man, the winner this month is Robert Matthews. So everybody, Robert Matthews prepared to leave the internet, because you're on the kill list now. I hope that's in pseudonym. It's not. No, he's a subscriber. That's okay. All right, everybody.

Thank you, thank you, Sean, for coming through and getting the episode up while I was at Burning Man. No problem. No, I'll never make fun of you for deleting anything again. Oh, don't make that promise. Why? He came through. That was, frankly, I think it would be appalling

if someone were to make fun of you for deleting something you used to. Oh, you mean posting it that week? Yeah, no problem. You got it uploaded. All the ID3 tags were wrong. Because if you fuck that up, man, I get 10 emails from people.

Yeah, fuck up the ID3 tag. I can't organize my channel. Your mother fucker. And you could, you said you couldn't download it at Burning Man if that's the thing. Because the internet is shunned. I'm, because I'm going back to like 1970s internet. Well, I got a satellite.

I will. Everybody's happy. Everybody got their dick. Then now thank you again for stopping by. You got to keep my man down. Yes, right. It's, it looks racist that you're now number two. Yeah, it looks super racist.

That was the point of pride on this show that we had a black, my strong black man leading the charge. Number one. I mean, so when we make horrible jokes, it's all excused. It was. It was. It wasn't point of pride. You got to take that motherfucker down.

I'm going to take that motherfucker down. All right, coach. Stick around. We're going to do a bonus episode. All right. Thanks, everybody. Go to dickshow.com, dickshow. Patreon.com slash the dickshow kicking some bucks, kicking some bucks to get the video feed.

Look at my reaction to Bill Burr. Oh my God, go everybody go tell Bill Burr that he's the smartest man in the universe. Yeah. And he's at least a thousand times as smart as Dr. Phil. Thanks for listening. See you next Tuesday. Your man was on performance enhancing drugs. Yeah, yeah, man. Hey guys. Bongs. It's one of the fat broads that Dick hooked up with at Burning Man.

I got two questions, one for Dick, one for Sean. So yeah, Dick, I've been stalking him ever since. I've been stalking him. I've been stalking him. I've been stalking him. I've been stalking him. I got two questions, one for Dick, one for Sean. So yeah, Dick, I've been stalking you ever since and I found your super secret YouTube music channel and it's pretty sweet and I've been going to geling off to it.

Gelling off. Gelling off. I don't want it if you're ever going to put any more content on it because it's pretty good stuff. No, I go and Sean, my question for you is get rates. We're ever going to get the band back together. Is that a question? Me and you are, we ever going to be like 60 year old guys playing at a salt creek restaurant

like playing covers with acoustic engineers and being real like smooth rage, smooth jazz. Are we ever turning to a turn into Mr. Velvet? I sold my drum kit. If you can can find a basis you can do a proper progression yeah we can pay make that a patreon goal get shot in a drum kit i don't want a new drum kit i got i got plenty of guitars around okay barely get played

skin flute wait a bit full circle a bit of a circle this is your boy Stefano. Oh, it's my boy. Rochester, New York. Uh, been around since the old Manac phase. I just wanted to call you, but you know, that, um,

there's been a lot of talk on the Facebook group, and bring up Maddox, left and right. Personally, I always say, the guy is fucking dead to me. Okay, what do you think you, what do you think this show, and what you think to me. Okay, what is good to you? What is good to show and what you did to us fans is unforgettable, okay? From a real Italian. Let me tell you something. We don't play that way. No, I'm just saying that right now. How do Italians are pretty easy going? You're good enough. No.

And don't forget to go fuck yourself. And glad you had a great time at Burning Man. Take it easy. That's my voice, the final from Rochester. You know, there are conspiracy theories talking about how this is just a long con. No, it's not, it's just still going. Yeah, it's just how Maddox released all the bonus episode.

Yeah. Let me tell you something. Coach would never lie. No, no, no, no, no, no, fucking con. I took two more, yeah, I got two more. let me tell you something coach would never lie that that i took two more and this is just a courtesy call to one uh... dick master same yeah i have a representative uh... your publishing company uh... for your book

manner better than women and that there seems to be some sort of library in Michigan that is letting people rent your books for free. So since we found out that there are maybe a couple people getting your books for free, we just decided that uh... on amazon instead of uh... allowing people to buy your book we're just gonna release it as a free kindle uh... on your knowledge but i have a book

in its entirety but i own that and i'm not that other people are getting it for free we figured you know everyone should but don't you worry uh... we're gonna release a test date letting letting everyone know that we made the executive decision. What about me though? Your book for free.

Well I get, well I've been mentioned in that statement. I have to give you the heads up and I would go tell you to go fuck yourself but it sounds like plenty of other people are doing that for you. Well it's up to good work. Shit, I got to get that guys call back number. Wow. Do you think I'll be mentioned in the statement when they take my property and give it away?

I hope, because otherwise that would be theft, right? I mean, that's how copyright works. They might mention you by your other pet name, Pean Weinerstein. Well, as long as it's Pean Weinerstein gets a mention, I'll be happy. Well, I'm to plume. Yeah.

All right, I got I got one more from lettuce Jones. I really like this guy. It's a long one, though. Hey, dick, it's lettuce Jones. So yeah, man, you were, you totally right about the dual lives. I love having that second life because I really, I could be anybody. Yeah. But, you know, trust me, there's reasons why I want to stay anonymous. Uh, I will say because you're part of the industry. Yeah. pilot is pissing on my sandals or any of that. Uh, I will say though, Sean, what? You need to take better care of your ears. Every time I get my little micriscope thing in

your ears, they look like a mess. It's your ear doctor. I know what you do. It must be from listening to the show. I don't know.'t know and also stop asking me for medical weed All right, you have a problem. Jesus. Thanks for carrying away dick listen No one wants to be your co-host all right I don't know I'm reading these Facebook comments and people they're talking about your previous co-host like they've all been put on a kill it previous co-hosts like they've all been put on a kill it. The fans are owed an explanation. I want to know what happened because I don't have time to look up all this drama. All right.

So you tell me tell us. All right. But it's two more minutes. It's kind of make it. Two more minutes. And then he hosts you can't have any co-hosts on your show because they're all going to get lynched by the social justice warriors. There's only one dick-matting center. You're the only person who can

Make a show like you have and not I guess I don't know have a your entire career destroyed your personal and professional career Whatever, Maddox said I don't know you got some kind of superpower when it comes to that I guess big It's true. So your co-host right your co-host, right? Your co-host is going to have to be anonymous. They can't find letters shown. Probably not find letters shown. Oh, he's bitching. It's a bitch. Come and get me, bitches. You've never been finding. You're fucked. All right. I'm anonymous. I'm anonymous. Anyone else would get lynched by a social justice lawyer? I will challenge the internet. Ben Zell and Robin. Ben Zell, especially. He could easily be your co-host because social justice lawyers, they don't have the uh... just i want to uh... and i will and i'll special

you can easily be a co-host because i suggest is why is they don't have the ability to insult a black person i don't know and if you try to fight and then we want to use a black pokemon against them because they don't know they can't insult black people and rob Robin what you got to do is robbing you got to say something that isn't racist but sounds like it would be racist to a

fucking social justice warrior prick and then you bait a man right and then you got to have Robin beat him with that zinger like hey well I'm black so yeah you know because no one's going to know that robbing black she's not black she's not black she's not black she's a white female oh she's half yes you should pull that angle with robin yeah her father is black yes she's so white though he's light skinned but the world the world lights how light see through? They also, I'm actually, I'm actually, like, you need to split up. Is there another Robin on this show? I'm not a dip all day.

It's bad for you. All right, thanks. I gotta put it, I'm putting him on the board too, fuck it. All right, good. All right boys, thank you.