The Dick Show - Episode 154 - Dick on a Fat Load of Good

Episode Date: May 14, 2019

The scope of the Sex Strike, the identity of Mental Health, Testifying against a murderer who studied the blade, looking fat on Twitch, dating older women, Porsalin calls in about his Sargon documentary, celebrating dad on Mother's Day, compromising on the abortion issue, the worst part about having kids, and sagacious zu steals the Madcast Media subreddit; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Have you been following any of this pro Jared stuff? Pro Jared? No, I don't know what that is. It's funny, but it's funny. It's funny, but what if it's gonna get people mad? No, it won't get people mad. It's, no, the opposite. No, it's a guy, I gotta know who's Jared.

The only Jared, I think I was Jared from Subway. Well, now there's two of everybody's going. It's a file Jared's. Oh, no, really? know who's Jared. The only Jared, I think I was Jared from Subway. Well, now there's two of them. A bit of a file. Oh, no, really? Yeah, maybe it's in the name. It is, there's only, there's gonna be one Jared left. Check one, two, check one, two. Let's not, let me check, check, check, there we go. It's the Highlander of pedophiles, except they're all Jared's.

The Highlander? Yeah, there can be only one Jared that's not a pedophile at the end of the day. This guy, this guy was, you know, maybe I will talk about it on the show. I mean, I'm intrigued. So it's pro Jared. He had like a million YouTube subscribers. Now he's got 800 the people in two days. He locked 200,000 subscribers off of his channel. Oh, wow, because because he because he broke up with his wife on Twitter. That's essentially why? Yeah.

That is so easy not to do. If you're breaking up with your wife, don't do it on Twitter. Just don't say anything. Don't say anything. On Twitter. Don't say anything, yes, in public at all. Don't even say anything to her.

I would say, mm-hmm. Just disappear, right? Just burn the house down. Yeah. Put the insurance in your name. That's a divorce trick. You won't get the house in the divorce, but if you have a company that has insurance on the house,

you'll get the Twitter account. Yeah, then you'll get the Twitter account. Yeah. It's too funny not to pay attention to though. Okay, well, I need to know. Cause he's this is our, you know, this is where I get most of my news stories. Everyone should get all of their news stories from the show.

Yeah. Cause it's not filtered because Sean, I have no ads on this show. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I wonder if that sub, if that subreddit is gonna get monetized. No ads on the subreddit. All right, let's start the show. I can't believe they did that. Yeah, we're gonna dig, you want dig, you love dig, you got it, it's the show we're in the contest. Come be live from a mountain bunker deep in the heart of the city of failure. I'm your host, stick masters in AKA, the $20 million man, recently voted America's worst Mexican

five weeks running or something like that with me as always is world internationally renowned world touring back from his tours across Asia, something and the subcontinent from the Blues Brothers LA based comedian Sean the audio engineer. I did. What's up buddy? What is the line? I didn't get that. I didn't get that reference. and Sean, the audio engineer. Hi, Dave. Hey, what's up, buddy? What is the line? I didn't get that. I didn't get that reference.

I was like, wait, wait, what? I was going to correct. No, many of the more chairs. Yeah. First of all, what is a subcontinent? What is it? What is it? Yeah.

Geographically diverse area defined by topological constraints, something, what is a subcontinent? I don't know. Well, that's a good question because, I mean, there's, at one time it was Eurasia. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

It sounds offensive. So it was like, yeah, I don't know. Subcontinent is racist. You can't say it anymore. That's a good question. It's the line from the Blues Brothers when many of the Mochars introducing, when Cab Calloway is introducing,

it was recently across from Europe, the Paris and the subcontinent, LA based comedian show on the audio engineer. All right, buddy, how's it going? We've got phase two of my plan, phase two of my diabolical plan, my hilarious diabolical plan is to create. Of four?

Let me count them, hold on, let me count them one, two, three. Yes, four. Of four, four phases in my hilarious diabolical plan. Wow. And I've completed two of them. That's halfway there. Yeah. Yeah, that checks out.

Hey, happy Mother's Day, everybody. Yeah. And this one goes out to the dads out there, who we should really be celebrating on Mother's Day. The dads who have to buy a present for their mom, then their wife, just for popping out some little fuck trophies or kids as they like to call a number of fuck trophy. I got that from Scott Higgin-Batham on Facebook this morning. Pop, you got to get a present for your mom, your wife. You know what, you've probably gotta get a present for your girlfriend if you guys have a dog together.

There's some shiftless, nutless fuck out there. That's definitely happening. He's happening today. He woke up and in his ex the naivete of his youth and his excitement to have a girlfriend for the first time, he bought his bitch a necklace. The low, he went to Tiffany's.com sorted by price. Picked up the lowest one and had it engraved

with their shared cat or dog's name. Distanced at happy mother's day from the fucking animal, disgusting. And then it's going to go for the rest of us. In his mind, he's to to hang on to that shred that maybe she's not a hundred percent serious about being a mom because she only owns a dog But in his heart he knows he knows he knows and he's Exciting about it. Well, he's excited about it. Oh, maybe if he's drink the cool it that's because we're running Men are out there young men are out there running sprints with their women when they should they need to know that it's not even a marathon

It's a battle royale. Oh, they're out there just hitting the starting line in the hunger games that is modern relationships And sprinting for the ring and then they get the ring and they say well now would nothing. Dive over the top rope and get the fuck out of there. Yeah, get out of there. Start gaslighting this bitch as quickly as possible. Take the dog. Happy mother's day to all the men out there. Yeah, you mothers. To all of the men out there who identify as moms

to the happy mother's day for you. Yeah. God dammit. Who are you to say what they, you know, everybody feels like a mother sometimes. Yes, men can nurture too, damn it. Happy Mother's Day to all the men out there. Yeah, who don't, you know, they never have a-

You know what they never have a- You can nurture the fuck out of shit. There's never a survey, an annual survey on Father's Day saying what the average salary of a father is, is there. I've never seen that. No, I don't think so. Because that would be father, astrophysicist. Hey, daddy, what are those?

Those are stars. Boom, astrophysicist. Yeah. Computer technician. Never any of those. But do you ever see those surveys for Mother's Day? No, I don't think so. What the annual salary is for a month. Every fucking year.

I've seen that year. It's like NORAD tracking Santa. There's all these ad-driven loot-crate, shit-consumer-driven ad-driven shitty articles that get plastered all over the internet. The average mother's salary is $170,000. Cause she's a cook. She's a family counselor.

She's a CEO and a financial advisor. She's still like self-park. But you don't have to be good. She's a blow job machine. That factored the maintenance of a blow job machine. No, no, that's not included. That's not included. Right, you know what I mean?

Like who's holding, where are the shareholders? An infographic company. We have a say. You know, yeah, right. Right. Okay. If moms want to be paid, if we use a performance,

if we use a performance, we're voting this bitch out every year. We want a, we want this golden parachute this chick out. Let's get a new mom in. This is all provided that, who doesn't have on how big hot the most slices should be. Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, man, you know what I mean?

Let me tell you something about parents. Yeah. The little Irishman slept over on Friday. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we played good. I would be a terrible, yeah, first of all. That guy wanted to just keep playing video games all, it was 9.30 and I'm like, yeah, sure,

you got another what hour and a half of video games in your 80s girls, like, no, he should've been a bed and a half hour ago. Who said that? 80s girls said that'm like, yeah, sure, you got another what hour and a half video games in you, you know, he's girls like, no, he should, he should've been a bed and a half hour ago. Who said that? 80s girls said that. Oh, yeah, sure. This motherfucker wakes up at 5.30 in the morning wanting to do arts and crafts. Yeah.

He comes knocking out the door, a, a, what's up, Mungolth, thought we could bust into those scolpes. Yeah. Last night, like you said, we could do scolpes in the morning. It's 5.30, I mean, that's A.M. They're like, there's like activity alcoholics. Like it's, I know he doesn't, he doesn't

discovered alcohol. Yeah. So he doesn't know what uncle's going for. It's 10.30 A.M. and I'm like, well, I mean, it's happy hour somewhere in the world. I get in Singapore. I could start drinking that motherfucker is looking at his watch. Well, it's craft time somewhere. Time to break into the skopies. He's got a bag of this shit in his hand. Knock, knock, knock. Okay, what's up, man? I thought we could just get into crack open the starts and crafts. See what's going on. I woke up all today full of all kinds of ideas. It's 5.30 in the morning, dude. I can't, Uncle can't function like this. You mean, he was here this morning. He was here on Saturday,. Uncle can't function like this. And as I gave him a soft, I'm like, hey, as gently as I could tell him,

I said, get the fuck out of here. First of all, I'm not practicing. I'm not studying in the arts of hiding erections in the morning as maybe your father is, but I certainly am not so you got to get out of here. Number two, I am not getting into arts and crafts until at least 7 a.m. Oh yeah, that's, you need to go up there. That's early. Crack open the video games, figure out there's multiple devices in here that will respond to the human voice,

figure them out. Right. Yell until something turns on. Yell until a, Yell until a trademark answers you and starts making turning devices on on. So he does, he leaves and he goes upstairs and I'm laying in bed thinking, this is what parents have to, this is what you have to deal with. Yeah. Every morning at 5.36 AM, 6.3038, I mean, you're talking about all of the sudden, I went through that entire day in a delirium of, I couldn't see three feet in front of me. I was in like a white out dust storm in my own mind. They wipe you out mentally. I never started that day.

It's completely gone like it was deleted like eternal sunshine of the spot on the how the fuck are the any of these people functioning with these monsters waking that prodding them up at 5.30 in the morning and then he's trumps and trumping around upstairs and I'm wondering oh okay now I've got all my shit ready that's I shun in my mind I'm wondering, oh, okay, now I've got all my shit ready. That's, I'm in my mind. I'm seeing it getting destroyed. Like there's no possible way. You should have gone back to school.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, now you're, yeah, makes it wonder whether or not more kids locked in closets routinely. Yeah, I mean, you need a weekend to yourself sometimes. Oh my God, five minutes. I know. No, they will. They will wear you out.

Again, this is for the fathers on this mother's day. This is for the fathers out there who have to, mothers have no problem. Mothers, women love waking up at 5.30 in the morning, five in the morning. If it was up to women, they would never sleep at all. Women like to go to bed at noon and wake up at three in the morning. That's a woman's perfect

day going to having a nice big brunch, going to sleep at one 30 in the afternoon, waking up at three. Anyway. What else? I had some other stuff here. Oh, I testified against that murderer. Yeah. This week. Okay. Remind me of this. Speaking of getting up early, the murderer who was over at the party that one time, that guy? Yes. Everyone remembers. Who coach got into a weird thing with?

Yeah. Coach in his, in his never ending life's quest to stick his foot in his mouth to see where the exact line of comedy is with people, to see what the line is of appropriate conversation with people you've just met. That's a key, right there. That's what his, maybe you don't test out the waters with that.

Yeah, I'm not right off the bat. People who listen to the show for a while and by the way, next week, they're sweating like crazy already. This is how I like to get started in the day. I like to get you. I like to rage right into the day. Yeah, it's all, you just have your own personal sauna,

it goes wherever you do. It goes wherever I do. And it feels great. No, it feels great. I feel the sweat on me, it cools, and then I have a lot of nice, that's it's job. And then I have a nice layer of salty crust all over me.

Yeah, that's what I like to have at all time. I like to be a salt golem that I have a layer of protective salt to me at all times. People who've been listening to this show for a while, and by the way, next week will be the five-year anniversary of episode one of the biggest problem in the universe. Wow. I do remember it started like before summer. I thought it was April, but it must be. Yeah. It's next week. It came out of May 20th, which means we may have well have been recording it this week, making this. I don't remember if it was around Mother's Day when we started, but this is five years.

We have now been podcasting for, I don't know, longer than most marriages. We've been podcasting for five years now. That's amazing. Yeah, sometimes somehow it seems, yeah, it seems that long. Yeah. It seems right. Yeah, sometimes when it's like, oh my God, it's been like two years, right? And then it's like, no, no, it's been like 10. It's been a long time. Yeah, no, five years seems right. If you've been listening for a long time, you'll remember me saying a couple months ago that I had to testify about something I said on the show.

Yeah. And that finally happened. So I'm going to tell you about it here. I was very excited about it. I'm sure you were. This is, oh boy, this is a brand new market for you. Yeah, court. Yes.

I mean, it's amazing. And Keon told me, and I thought about testifying in court before the case of Staya ever got was getting selected for a jury in a drunk driving case. And they immediately dismissed me. Why, I wonder why? Because they asked you the different lawyers when they go to select jurors. I got called dismissed me. Why? Oh, under why? Because they asked you the different lawyers when they go to select jurors, I got called into like the juror room with a, okay, like number, you know, number 11 or whatever. And they say, you know,

have you or anyone close to you had a problem with alcohol? Because they would know he can be a dry. So it's about a lot of opportunities. Yeah, let's see. Let's see everyone, you know, everyone. And it was like a couple more questions like that. And they're like, okay, the court would like to thank and dismiss, your number 11. Like, how was that your peers though? Like if you're getting popped with a DUI, and no one who gets, no one gets to be on your jury

who has a problem with alcohol, who the, what kind of, I don't even understand these people. I couldn't tell you what they're thinking at any moment. How was that fair? They think you won't be, you know, they think you'll come with a bunch of baggage. Yeah. But it was like, I mean, I was like, as soon as I heard that it was a drunk driving case, I'm like, oh, I'm fucking out of here.

This is no problem. Sean, that's, that sucks though. You should have lied so you could get in and give the guy a little, you know, but what can you do? He learned his lesson. He learned his lesson. Yeah. He feels bad. Yeah. Obviously. But anyway, he's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing

it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. have had no experience in court, testifying on the stand, which sounds like it would be so fun. Oh, God. As long as you're not in trouble, even, even after doing it, I kind of wish that I was. Yeah. I'm like, wow. I will be mistaken for a murder or someday because that was, I was most excited about getting cross examined, like on TV, right?

With Ali McBeal or whatever up there, busting chops. Like, oh, but not the first for a place I would go, but you've seen who would you go? Who do you want to, who's your fantasy cross-examiner? No, not me. Johnny Cochran. I was going to say, like, you know,

I'm thinking law and order when I think courtroom dramas, but I was very excited about it because, and this is how it came to be. I think around episode 50 of this show, I told the story about throwing a Christmas party. I think it was one Sam Hyde called in too, and everything was all fucked in the recording until the moment, and he called it. Oh, yeah, that was crazy. Or it was the episode episode, I was the next one after that. I don't remember. Larry was very early. He showed up a little bit later, I think. Yeah. I think it was the next one because coach was here when I told the story. This was the one after that. I don't remember. Larry was very early. He showed up a little bit later, I think. Yeah. It, I think it was the next one because coach was here when I told the story. So it was the one after world peace. Okay. We threw a Christmas party. Okay. A story I told on this show about that Christmas party was told in such a way that it was unbiased and public.

Like, I don't know either of the people in the case. I don't care about them, which I don't, which is not a bad thing. Like, you know, one of them is gay, a business statement. But when I break up with somebody, when I'm just saying, when I broke it, when I, when you are broken up with someone, I no longer care about their friends. Right. You generally don't keep in contact or anything. Yeah, and I don't care about them.

Like I wanna stress that part enough that I- That's why you don't, yes, yes. Because you haven't actually become friends. No, it's like- You're friendly. It's like a mime, it's like a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, pantomime friendship. Where's-

Got it. Civil and courteous, I want to engage in no discussions with them. I don't want to get to know any of them. I don't like combining friend circles. And this was ironically, how's this for irony? Years ago when Maddox and I would hang out on occasion or go out to lunch or go drinking when a big group of people,

Maddox used to always criticize me for not bringing whoever I was dating around. It's like, oh, you don't bring them around. How would I get to know them? I'm like, why would I, I don't care if you know them. I don't want you to know them. I don't bring whoever I'm dating around my friends because they're not my friend. I don't want like first of all

It's just forcing them to interact with people that they don't that they don't want to interact with Like this isn't met if we're doing something fun. Yes, but just hanging around they have better I'm sure they have better things to do. I hope they have better things to do with their time. Hey honey Come hang out at the bar with me and Randy and Keon. You'll just get ridiculously stupid. And talk about how fat the waitress is. You know, your favorite thing to do. Yeah, yeah.

Ironically, Maddox and I were at two different extremes of that. So, which is how I spent so much time around his girlfriend in the very first place, right? So if there was ever a lesson to draw from this, it's don't risk it anyway. Eddie's girl brings her friend to my Christmas party, her very pregnant friend. Yeah, brings her to the Christmas party. Coach shows up, a couple, Coach shows up almost immediately later in the evening. It goes, Jesus, that broads fat. Wow, how's the pregnancy? That's the pregnancy,

how's the pregnancy doing, okay, good, he's doing it with those nipples. He's, yeah, right. He's getting a big old rod in the angel field. She's very pregnant and she brings her baby daddy, your boyfriend at the time, I think. I don't know if they're married or ever got married. I don't know, I don't know.

Cause I don't care. Let's return to my main point. Unbought. No, don't care. Right. Don't need to put a euphemism on it. Don't know. I can just say, don't know, cause I don't care.

She brings this guy to my Christmas party, who I know is a convicted murderer. And you knew this at the time. I knew this at the time. Okay. Out of prison for 12 years, I knew he worked at a gay bar and made a lot of money, which I thought was suspicious. He worked at the Abbey. Oh, yeah. Okay. Which is a huge gay bar. Like West Hollywood, right? Which I thought was suspicious because there's only three ways to make a shitload of money

when you're working. Well, there's two ways at a bar sell drugs and steal from the bar. If you're at a gay bar for a guy like that, there's a third way that I'm sure I don't need to mention. Okay. I know that he makes a lot of money working at bar selling rainbow flags on the sidewalk in front. This is the selling counseling services for young runaway trans and gay men who are coming to terms with their identity.

Counseling services. Okay, by the way, oh no, I'm not going to get into the mental health thing yet. I woke up severely depressed this morning. Why? I did a couple sit-ups, cured to write up. Oh, good for you. Yeah. So for everybody complaining, why is a lot of people complaining?

You didn't see Reddit. No, I don't check. Oh god. The only thing that I get shown is I got shown the, oh, the subreddit. One, two brief, two brief tangents. No, I really don't read the, the, the, no, read it. No, reading for laymers. Oh, God, I forget what he's going by right now.

Sega, I don't know how to say his name. sagas you let me make sure i get his name right uh... dickheads are now in control of the madcast media subreddit because maddox did not pay attention to who was registering his subreddit he i think he has he has had to amputate. He has had to, what is it called when you lose a territory to a win a war of attrition? Maddox has had to give up, sub-reddit entirely because he's not able to silence it and censor it, so he doesn't wanna read what people

are saying about it. So he's had to cut Reddit off from his life entirely. He's had to cut huge swathes of people out on Twitter. He's only on Facebook now, because he wasn't paying attention, he lost his madcast media subreddit to a dickhead. This was, I mean, when I heard that, I thought that was so funny. And they were like, page after page after page.

And I just was thinking, this is the guy who is always pissed off at you and yelling down if I'm a soapbox about a new, not updating plugins for security. It's shit like that. If you go to reddit.com slash R slash madcast media, it is a shit show. George's new book. I'm Haley, there's, I'm Haley Mancini. It's a picture of Big Bird.

People talking about, they're gonna say, well, let's see, people posting the stats, 86753 on night. It's all, my gams is a retarded twink with a tiny dick. I don't know why the madcast media, I said, right, it would be talking about these things, Sean, but they are. It was, Benadrill Peppers was the dickhead who grabbed it.

I guess these people, man, like they just wait. They just lie in wait. And he's been, he's not the first person to try. And he tried, he tried to do it for months before he finally got it. So what happens? It's, it's when like a subreddit becomes inactive basically, right? Or something that you can go, oh, I want to be mod.

Is that how it works? Yeah. And if none of the moderators log in, then you get it. Because if they don't log in in 30 days, it's just like a band and territory. Yes. And he was saying that because Randy was a mod before, Randy kept the response, logging in when he got the email

and that would fuck up the acquisition of the Madcast Media subreddit, but once Randy left, well, I didn't know that he left, but once he left, nobody responded because nobody cares. Nobody cares about the dying brand. Maddox doesn't even care about his own Maddox character

who I killed. The Maddox is now dead and George, the character of George, not the real guy, they coincidentally have the same name, but it is not the real guy as a character. We'll live forever, humping out, humping out an ad-based living, selling hair growth cream and loot boxes and fresh living shit to an audience of 1000 thousand or a thousand people on a podcast with L.A.'s most dysfunctional, most intolerable cult of comedians, which is improv comedians. That's the rest of George's life. He will never have another successful property. He will never sell another book. He will never make another YouTube video that doesn't get immediately downvoted to shit and stricken from the recommended

page because he pissed because he because he betrayed everybody who ever supported him and everybody who risk everybody who respects basic decency in life, which is just respond to your criticisms. Don't even care that you're an asshole. Just respond. This is even better than Scott Tinnermann getting fed his own parents by Cartman. And it's still coming. There's more to come. I know. I've got two more, two more cogs in my wheel of justice. Wow. And you're halfway there. Yeah, halfway there. Okay, that was my brief aside.

Yes, as I was saying, the Reddit was in revolt and I've learned my lesson. I'll never tell anybody to lose weight again. That was my mistake. Okay, yeah. Well, you know, some people do need to lose weight. Sean. Right, that's it. Oh, whoa. But, people do need to lose weight. Sean. Oh yeah.

That's it. Oh, whoa. But, but I don't even know. That's independent from any kind of depression or anxiety symptoms. We have to be clear. Okay. People could lose weight if they identify with being too much

of a weight, but that has nothing to do with, I don't want people to get the wrong idea. Okay. Okay. Okay. If you're depressed, go to a doctor. If you want to lose weight also, that's, you need to go to another doctor. Okay.

That's, okay. That's what I have known. I'm sort of in the dark and I kind of would like to be. I'll talk about it because it's mental health week. Is it still mental health week? Thought that was over. No, wait, but you were gonna get back to the... I will, I will, I will, I will.

Okay, we'll talk about mental health week next because Burger King is the smartest company in the world. They found a way to advertise to the white identity, which is mental health. That's what I've discovered. Yeah, you know? Look, they're gonna use whatever, to a white identity, which is mental health. That's what I've discovered. Yeah. You know? Look, they're gonna use whatever,

they're gonna use whatever's at the, if it was me too, they would have a me too burger. You know what I mean? McDonald's should do that. Cause now it's meant burger King owns the mental health. Well, they got out, they were the first one, right? McDonald's is gonna have a woman crying in the shower after getting raped.

Eating a double quarter founder. Right. It's one of those days. Oh God. Happy. They're going to give you. They're going to partner with Kaiser Permanente. And if you go in to get a sexual assault kit or whatever it's called, they'll give you

happy meal. They'll give you a toy with it. It'll be a McNugget buddy. One of those. It'll be a Halloween. They'll give you a happy meal, they'll give you a toy with it. It'll be a McNugget buddy, one of those. It'll be a Halloween, they'll give you a little Halloween pale, they're gonna trot out the rape kit at Kaiser Permanente and it's gonna be in one of those buckets. You know the buckets I'm talking about that they fade in the sun? There's a billion of them.

Yeah. And they say, they give them to you to trick or treat ostensibly with, but there's no, first of all, they're very uncomfortable. The, the clasps are held in by almost nothing. trick or treat ostensibly with, but there's no, first of all, they're very uncomfortable. The, the clasps are held in by almost nothing. No child would trust, would entrust their candy. They're Halloween haul.

Yeah, yeah. To this flimsy Chinese shit, which seems to have been worn down even more by some kind of chinefocation process before it got in the hands of American children American children. Kids don't fuck around when it comes to security and candy. Burlap sack, two burlap sacks, or a home depot bucket. Yeah. That's what when I went to your treating as a kid, I would load my mom up with a, like an ox. Oh yeah, yeah, it's a bulls sack.

It's a balancing of a cross, like a village woman. Yeah, third world. Multiple pales. Right. Coming back from the community well. Happy Mother's Day. Okay. The third world. The multiple pales. Right. Coming back from the community, well. Happy Mother's Day. Okay. So the murderer, yeah.

I really, I kind of want to read his murder report story too. Because it's crazy. I didn't look it up until I know all of it now. Oh wow. I looked it up after. Oh yeah. This is interesting. Oh dude, it's hilarious.

His murder story, the reason this guy went to, his name is Nate Moore. By the way, just wanted to keep calling him that guy. It's hilarious. His murder story, the reason this guy went to, his name is Nate Moore, by the way, just don't have to keep calling him that guy. It's Nate. So Nate knocked up 80s girls friend, and they show up at my Christmas party. The friend, the friend, Nate, and 80s girl are sitting on the couch, the sectional couch in the living room, kind of off from everybody else

because like I was telling Sam Hyde, all of my friends show up all the time, all of Aity's girl's friends flake on her. Okay. Because my friends are afraid of upsetting me by not showing up to my parties. Because you have a platform. Yes.

I will read their names off. Yeah, because I keep track. I have all day to just sit around and scheme and keep track of people who have disrespected me. Right. But she doesn't have that. She has a job. Anyway, her friends never come.

So her friend, her pregnant friend and her boyfriend Nate came and I was like, oh, well, you know, I'm gonna do one of those boyfriend things that I see on TV. I'm going to go talk to, talk to this couple. We're going to sit here like a couple, right? Sit here like a two couple. Your first and last time doing that.

What a mistake. Well, I was outside watching Buckley piss off my bouts and smoking cigars. I should have picked the murderer. Yeah, right. Right. I go over and sit down and coach shows up with his wife, both, both wearing black tie, a tie or coach had just come from his work party and Hawthorne's like an hour and a half away.

He shows up and 80's role's friend is sitting on a couch, sitting on the most accessible part of the couch, but she's taking up the whole thing, which is pregnant. Well, I mean, pregnant and a woman. So totally in her own world, not moving, not moving, not sharing any of the couch cushion. This is a couch cushion that I don't think I could touch both sides of. So she has the approximate dimensions of a hockey goal.

She's the tiniest, yeah. She's four feet tall. She's the tiniest girl in the world. And six feet wide. So, Coach, who has the male inability to just ask what he wants or say what he wants in place of it, if a joke could do it more awkwardly, right? As we all have, you know, hi, can I get your number? Hi, I'd like to take you out to the center.

No, no, no, no, no. I've got to have some kind of strange pick-up line to talk to this girl. It's got to be more complicated than what you're making. Coach sits down next to her, pretending that he's James Bond. Squeezes himself in next to her and says, how you doing?

I can a really overtly sleazy way that only a 250 pound man shaped like a bowling ball can pull while wearing a tuxedo, could pull off. Yeah, right? Yeah. You remember this part of the story? Yes. I do, yeah.

We all laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Girl moves over. Tiny little bit. You know, normal amount. You just sit down. I'm watching the whole thing unfold. laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, girl moves over tiny little little bit, you know, normal amount. You just sit down. I'm watching the whole thing unfold. Coach's wife is laughing. And the murderer snaps immediately, not immediately. And enough, it is, it's difficult to describe. And I didn't,

I didn't try to describe it under oath. He was sitting directly next to his wife. So it goes me 80s girl Nate murderer pregnant woman coach. Yeah, he stands up pushes her over and sits down in front of coach and Just just stairs at him what the with his arms spread out in a flex, like a gorilla flex move, like staring at him like a bulldog. And he's sitting in turn to the side. Yes, weird, weird way to do this move. Yeah, totally. Well, we all know what's happening.

Yes, sure. We all know what he's trying to say. Yeah, he's getting right in his face and giving him that max dad from always sunny in Philadelphia, stare like that super wide eyes there. You're like, coach goes, what are you? Like, what are you serious?

Yeah. And then he looks at me. You know, coach who grew up in San Pedro, lived in Compton for 10 years when I knew him. Englewood. Yeah, I'm sorry, Englewood. He lived in a shitbox house with cardboard, literally had cardboard plumbing,

and they had two sets of bars on the windows, and he had a loaded gun in his room where he slept that he did not think was weird. This is the environment this guy has grown up in. He liked it. He liked it. He liked it. He liked it.

He was comfortable. He was comfortable. He was comfortable. Yeah. So he's obviously comfortable in this situation because this has happened to him before. And he's like, what is? Yeah. What's going on here? Uh, the guy, Bob's his head.

Bob's his head in front of him. Like, what are you doing? What are you doing? What are you? Oh, this is fascinating, right? Wow. This is, all right. So I said, all right.

After a while, I said, Coach, let's just go outside. I said, I got 30 people here. 20, you know, these are my neighbors. How's that gonna two months after we move in, I have a murderer and a fat man fighting in my home. How's this, this isn't gonna look good. They're gonna take me off to mailing list. And the guy doesn't say anything.

No, doesn't say anything. So a couple of minutes later, he storms out of the house and then we go back and I ignore it. I tell it on the show because it's hilarious. Yeah. All right, it's hilarious, Coach manages to provoke a fight with a murderer in like one sentence. One sentence.

Yeah, no one else has this ability. And he was joking around like, how you do, how you do. Yeah, I mean, it is that offensive joking, how he's so. I tell this story on the show. And those two get caught, the pregnant woman and the murderer, surprise, surprise, get caught in a custody dispute years later,

which brings us to today. And the only story. The only story. Of the newborn kid. Oh yeah, the newborn kid. Cause this wasn't that, this was like what? A couple, two years ago, something like that. Yeah, I one kid. Because this wasn't that, this was like what, a couple of two years ago, something like that. Yeah, I think so.

The only record of there being any kind of violence that's not motivated by personal relationships, like he said, she said shit, or like this is an argument that we got in, is the story that I told before any of the breakup happened on this show. So that is why I had to go testify against him for the shove and the melt that the spur, the gorilla spurg out that took place at my Christmas party over nothing. So where did you have to go to

testify? San Diego. You had to go to San Diego. First of all, the court system, the entire court system is set up against anybody who can't get moving before 10 in the morning. You have to show up, you have to wake up at seven and put on clothes that you would not be caught dead in. Anywhere else.

To go argue for your life at a time when nobody on earth should be awake. That is, if somebody, if somebody ever figures out, like if somebody ever figures out that minorities don't like being awake at nine in the morning, that's going to destroy the entire quick. the entire, I don't think anybody likes being, but no, but they do. People love waking up at six, seven in the morning. It is old people. I think regular people too.

Like we're sitting there. Oh God, I hate it. We were sitting there before court at nine in the morning, and I'm feeling like my brain, like I'm feeling like I've got an IQ of about 50. Like I can't think I'm like, oh, there's so many people have been convicted or gone to jail because they couldn't understand basic English at 8.30 a.m. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Like how about, uh, how about a court for the rest of us? How about a court that goes into like three in the morning? Once you have your cup of cup of cup of cup of coffee. Uh-huh. Okay, now we're, we're starting to feel human. Once I've equal, Iberium. Once I've gone through, right at a couple of times, right, exhausted my like, okay,

pop to couple out. Now I'm ready to testify. This was, this was very unfair. We're sitting there outside a court, wondering who's gonna get called in first. And I'm complaining about these bars that they have there. Nobody who's ever made a bench in civil architecture has ever made anything comfortable to sit on.

Not in a church, not in court. No, I don't know why. They don't want you there. They've got these benches in, okay, well, as jazzed up as I was to go into court, I pissed my pants right before I was supposed to go to testify. Yeah. Because I went in to use, first of all, it's freezing in the morning. Okay, I know where this is going. Right? So I go sit down and you do one of those big belly poses

when you've got the bungee. Yes, you do one of those bungee poses when you're worried about, I've got brand new khaki pants that I have to wear to go to court. Right. I have my shirt all tucked in. So I look like someone who's trustworthy. But the seats that they have us in

are these long bar, they're benches with like this giant bar in the back for their precious architecture. Oh, God. The second I sit down, we're both sitting there. 80s girl and I are both sitting there. I sit down and we're both sitting there. 80s girl and I are both sitting there. I sit down and we're both staring at my crotch. As soon as I bend in, this giant half pancake size of piss appears.

Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't know. You noticed it? Or did it appear? It appeared. Like I sit down and squeeze into these. Everything is against you at the courthouse is what I'm saying.

It's nine in the morning. You sat down and pissed your pants. Yes. You pissed your pants after you sat down. This was again, it was the city. It was not. Oh my god. Okay. I'm all excited to talk to you about doctors and seeing doctors. It was the city. It was not it. Oh my God. Okay.

I'm all excited to talk about doctors and seeing doctors. This is probably something that should tip you off to maybe see a medical professional. It's freezing cold. It's nine. I have never pissed before nine o'clock. I've maybe pissed before nine o'clock once or twice. It's that's not fair. So my body does not know what to do at that time. I'm going in there.

Do you just piss the bed? I mean, I don't get up until after nine. Yeah. So, I'm not used to pissing at that hour of the day. I've already crammed down a coffee that's doing nothing. I feel like I'm drinking through a fog. I'm stuck on the, I didn't have very much to drink. That was a problem too the night before. Sitting down and then just suddenly pissing yourself.

You've never done that? No. No, I've never done that. I imagine doing that before you're about to testify. I can't. We're both, we're sitting there going, I wonder who they're going to call in first. Oh, maybe it's you. Maybe we both have to testify. I don't know who you're going to call it. Is it going to be me? It's going to be you. Oh, I hope it's you. Oh, me too. Sit down, immediate piss all of us. Well, I hope it's you.

Do you think I have time to go clean these pants off? Well, but how are you gonna, you're not gonna be able to get rid of the spot. That would involve drying, right? I mean, like you can't, I mean, I guess you could, you could press, I wouldn't be hard on it or something.

I went into the bathroom and took my pants off and ran them under the hand dryer. Oh, okay, okay. 10 minutes. It's a good idea. To dry them off. So I had a nice pair of hot pants. Right.

To put on before I went into court to testify seriously. Good God. It could happen again as soon as you sit down in the stand. I know, I know. So then for the whole rest of the day, I'm just trying to have excuses to walk around, but I'm in stupid dress shoes, so it's uncomfortable as fuck.

Yeah. Um, finally, 80s girl goes into testify, and she comes out looking, she comes out, like she's just been raped. Looking in there, like right, like you know, eyes kind of unfocused in the watery, and I'm like, oh my God, what's going on? She goes, oh, this other attorneys just mean.

She's so mean, she's asking me, I was like, oh, yes. Great. Yeah, this is exactly what I want. Yeah, this is my dream, right? And already I feel bad for that attorney. Meet because she thinks she thinks she's big and bad. She doesn't know what's coming. So I go in there and tell the story.

And they add for I found out later that they asked both of us what coach looks like under oath. How much did you say he weighed 300 pounds? That's his under oath. Yeah, well, I said 250 shape like a bowling ball. Shape like a bowling ball pin. It finally gets to, I tell the story, is completely devoid of comedy. The attorney asked me if I've ever,

if I've ever taught 80s girl how to lie. Yeah. Which apparently was part of, the fuck kind of question is that? Apparently was part of her cross examination. What do you mean, like, I teach? I teach. I teach how do you teach people?

You should know how to lie by your 30s. I mean, like, the fact that, like, yeah. That's weird. I don't think you could teach that. Okay, that's weird. Yeah. I mean, no. Yeah. No, it's a, it's a born gift.

Yeah. That's... Teach can't be taught. It's like having good taste. You can't teach it. Then it goes to the cross-examining attorney. She goes, I have no questions, Your Honor. I said, no, what?

What do you mean, no? Why am I even here? I thought that was the cross-examination. That was the, what kind of question is that? Because I guess it had come up before. Okay. It had come up before me with 80s girl, like a parent, they were saying that

I taught her how to lie or something preposterous, like that I have no idea. It gets to, it gets to the, it gets to my turn to get cross examine. Well, I mean, I have no questions. God damn. Oh, what a GIP. What a GIP.

Yeah. What the, can you still say GIP? No, probably not. Come on, nothing. So she goes, ah! All right, how, just Tiki tacky shit. Like, well, how do you know he shoved his wife? And I said, so she did, she changed her mind.

Yeah, she's thought of some at the last minute. I don't know if she wanted to build some, build for some questions. She thought of some, she goes, well, how do you know that he shoved his pregnant wife? Cause I saw it. And that's when I realized, oh, that's why, that's why I'm here. It's the shoving the... Well, no, that's what I was going to say. That's what I thought because you said... I didn't know that. Well, you said violence and I'm like, the only possible thing that could,

you know, he got in his face, but he didn't touch him or anything, right? The only vant would be he actually physically moved her aside, right? Yes, which I had, it had never occurred to me. No, because it's like dumb. Well, because it's a woman. I mean, first of all, they're always in the way. You know, you always want somebody to shove them out. Like, get you, get the fuck to stop walking so fucking slow. Get off your fucking phone.

Or just, I got to get in the fridge. I thought they're always, I got to get in the fucking fridge. Or just, I gotta get in the fridge. I thought they're always- I gotta get in the fucking fridge. What are you gonna say there? I'm carrying something, get the fuck out of the way. I'm trying to blow a load here, get there, out of the way, you're gonna get pregnant. Ah, fucking you bitch, you blew it.

They open the door, open the front door to the place, but they're looking at their phone or something. As soon as they notice, there's a text. Oh, they stand there without opening the fucking thing. Yes, I'm talking about you. She asked that question, I said, oh, this is about the woman. Oh, shit. Well, boy do I feel stupid.

I thought that you wanted to hear this story of my friend getting in a fight. My fat dumb friend getting in a fight. You wanted to hear about him shoving his pregnant wife? Oh boy. Do I have a egg on my face? Boy do I have piss in my pants? Yeah. So that was it.

I guess here's the story of how you became a murderer too. I read this after the fact that it's very funny. Yeah. Oh, what? Apparently he's a failing actor in LA. Uh-huh. Like a, uh, juliar dropout or something like a real fancy pants. Yeah. He's blocking the road or some blocking a driveway or something like that. And this other trio of, uh, of actors were up and coming. This guy, this actor fight. Yes. It was a, it was a Zoolander fight. Zoolander and two of his pals pull up in a Jeep. Everyone was like, not in the face, not in the face. Yes. This is what you would think. Right. So these, these fun boys pull up, Right. Right.

So these fun boys pull up at, play that night. I'll link to the articles that people can read it to because I left my ass off reading it. Jesus. These fun boys pull up to Twinkle Nuts who's blocking a driveway or something. Right.

And they lay on the horn and go, get the fuck out of the road to them. And apparently Nate, I had that he is? Yeah. Hopson is car and chases the fun to chase his Zoolander and his crew down. I thought they were. Oh, what were they trying to do? They were, they were just trying to shout at them. They were shouting. Anyone had a drive. It on bitch. Yeah, he ain't had a drive. Get off the road.

They scream and I'm gonna fuck you. He chases them down. He was having a bad day being a failure, I guess, and only waiting or making however money he did make it wherever he was working. He chases them down, corners them. I don't know. I don't know how.

People like to fight. Yeah. It like to fight. It's not hard. It's not hard. Excuse me, people like rubbing nipples together. Yeah. Well, these guys are, they're lit up. Probably, they're excited. One of them just got a big role. One of them just got a big new, new acting role.

Another level acting role that he was excited about. They're ready to rub some nipples together and scream fuck you with each other. All right, nothing wrong with that. Saturday night, so all right, for fighting. They get out of the car. And Nate gets out of the car. But for some reason, he's packing a sword. What the? Yes. He has a, he's like a karate guy. Oh, God. He's like a swordsman. Like, while you're getting acting parts, he's studying the blade and his,

so he gets out of whatever, he gets out of what he's striving. And Nate pulls out a katana or something, some kind of like 10 inch karate chop, st-sort, like a mythical dagger that he has with him. So the guys, the three guys, encounter him and say, oh, fuck you, fuck you. You didn't go, oh, yeah, I'll take all of you. Let's go.

And he pulls out his sword and starts stabbing and slashing at them. He nails one of them. Yeah. This is this is how I heard it, too. This is a story I read and somebody told me, uh. He nails one of them. Yeah. This is how I heard it, too. This is a story I read and somebody told me. He nails one of them and then he gets tackled. Yeah. When he gets tackled, he stabs himself.

Oh, God. So now he's flailing around screaming, get the fuck off of me. I've been stabbed. Like get up. I've been, that's the very Japanese, isn't've been I've been stabbed like get up. I've been I've been stabbed. It it was broken. So it turns from I'll take all of you. Yeah. Oh shit. One for one, right?

This is this karate guy who's been studying the blade spare time who's driving around with a sword in his car. Hitori Han so he is not. He stabs himself and wrestles himself free, gets to his car, throws the sword into his car, and drives himself to the hospital bleeding profusely out of his gas pedaling leg. So he's using the wrong leg to go through traffic at 10 million miles an hour because he's bleeding to death because he just stabbed himself in the thigh.

Yeah, you could hit a femoral artery. You could bleed on about eight seconds. So, you know, he teabones a Range Rover. Oh good. So the cops show, this is happening in like Beverly Hills. Oh my God, she wants a ring. I don't have time to get my insurance. Hey, you're blocking that driveway.

Fuck you. Oh yeah, let's go. Oh shit, I stabbed myself. I gotta go to the hospital. Driving to the hospital, T-bones are Range Rover. The cops show up and say, why do you have a stab wound for this car wreck? The cops show up and say, why do you have a stab wound for this car wreck?

We're taking the hospital, they take him to the hospital, they take him to the same hospital where those guys have just brought their friend. Yeah, sure. Who is now dead. Yeah. And they say, that's the guy that stabbed our friend.

There he is, right there. And the next day, again, the next emergency bay over, right? This is the fucking weirdo. That coach got into a fight with some guy who thinks he's fucking a blade. Yeah, the white blade. I think I didn't know it was Conan. Pull out a sword.

Pull out a pair of swords. Jesus. Come back in the party and start slicing people up It was so it was discipline my cross examination was very disappointing I was hoping for how long did he go to jail for 12 years 12 years. Yeah, I think he he pled no contest. Yeah, like It's it's crazy to Her getting information from the custody hearing like nobody, no judges hold the going to prison for murder against them.

They're like, well, he served his time. My thinking is more of the long, long lines of what the hell is wrong with you? Yeah, I mean, that works. That's not how that works. But they're not supposed to. I mean, like, you know, of course they're supposed to. No, I mean, but the past, well, yeah, I guess it doesn't fix you. When you go to jail, you're still fucked.

No, but it's a different, but it's, oh, totally. No, sometimes it makes you more fucked, right? Well, they're acting like they're just a fix is you. Like when you get, not only are you fucked for what brought you in, but you're probably fucked for what prison has done. Yeah, I know, I think you're worse. I'm over and over saying, well, he served his time.

It's like, how does that work? But I mean, is that work? But like that carbon credits, they're not murdering credits. But I'm talking about like the law, are they, you know, like honestly, I don't know, can the judges take past? Isn't that the name of their job?

Maybe they judge? I don't know, maybe they judge. Aren't they supposed to judge things as they see them and not just go, well, went to prison, I'll just wipe that out of my memory. I don't know, like honestly, that seems like an answer that would be easy, but does past history come into it when a judge makes it,

because it's gonna be a judge who decides, whether to penalize them further, right? I mean, yeah. I was prepared to defend my book and my whole lifestyle and my hair overprepared. Overprepared. I wish I had worked that hard on getting a visa. Oh, anyway. Let's see here.

The Madcast media subreddit is fallen. Yeah, that's a good one. Five-year anniversary. Yeah. Maybe I'll get to testify again though. My cousin was arrested by the Secret Service last week. Yeah. Do I know this cousin?

Yeah. I do. Yeah. At the White House. His mom got a call from Secret Service at the White House. What? You just arrested your son. So, one from Colorado?

Uh-huh. No shit. Yeah. Wow. So, I'm looking forward to learning more about that. Really? You don't know anything? Do I know anything?

Do I know anything? Do I know anything? I don't know. I mean, no. He's a road scholar. I mean, no. He probably went, he probably got arrested for being too funny. No, you know what I mean?

I mean, he's like trying to scale the White House fence. I don't know what I mean. I mean, is he went on a White House tour? Yeah. Because he needed to talk to Trump and then like jumped the, skipped the tour, like jumped off it at some point. Okay.

To try to do his own. Oh boy. That's the gating. Okay. But that's just what I hear, you know, I don't know. Wow. Okay. Okay.

Let's see here. There's a sex strike. Oh yeah. Did you know about that? No. Alyssa Milano and some other women. Okay. And many other women that I am not having sex with

want to have a sex strike. Continue to not have sex with you. Yes. Okay. Many women that I've never thought about having sex with or at least not since like who's the boss. Oh. She was in who's the boss, right?

She was. And charmed. Yes. Well, women that I haven't thought about having sex with except when I thought they were when owner writer are proposing a sex strike until women's reproductive health is whatever until abortion is legal until the age of 10, I think this is what they want. Hey, you know, some of these kids, I'm kind of for that.

Retroactive abortion. V2. Yeah. Maybe the Irishman will sleep in a little bit if that was on the table. Yeah. They should just do it for women. See how they, let's see what they think about that, right?

Okay, we'll give you, we'll let you have unlimited abortions only if the child is female. We'll pass that. Well, they, you think they would take it? That's a good compromise. At least, at least half of women can do what they want, then, right? Right? Right? That's, then work on the, work on the other half next.

That would be smart, wouldn't it? Unlimited. I'm like a fucking soda fountain. That's what I would do. I mean, I'm limited in a few. I'm not compromised with these people. Okay, you can have free access, all the access to abortions you want, only if the gender of the child is free.

Like, that's, I mean, you get half of what you want, right? It's like China. Yeah. Um, I don't know. I just hope they don't, if women are putting on a sex strike until they get their reproductive rights, I'm worried that they're going to go on a garbage strike next or that they're going to go on a farming strike. How are we going to eat?

If women, what if they go on strike for repairing our telecommunications network? I don't know. I don't know. I love the, you know, I love my internet. If women stop maintaining the internet, oh, then what, Sean? Oh my God. What if women stop making all the movies that I love watching?

Like, alien. That's only when I could think of that. What if they stop starring in? Maybe it's starring, well, yeah. What if they stop working in entertainment? What if they stop starring in, maybe it's starring, well, yeah, right, okay. What if they stop working, working in entertainment? What if they stop working in energy? Sean, how are we gonna power all of our,

all of our cold plants and gas pumps and how are we gonna power the power grid if they go on strike? I just don't know. Sean, they're half of, they're half of people women are. How, how could we function? If they're willing to go on a sex strike,

they would be willing to go on a strike and any number of other things. Police, firemen, if I need somebody to show up and verify that my house is on fire. I mean, obviously, if I'm in the fire, a man could still show up and pull me out. But, go, what if I need some other kind of work that women are doing for me every day? Oh!

Wow. But, you better be careful then, not inside anything. I better not, we better give them those abortions as quickly as possible. Don't inside anything, because I'm just saying, the sex strike is on the table. Modern infrastructure will crumble. No doubt, crumble. Well, crumble, you know, when you go by,

people take for granted what goes into maintaining the national infrastructure. When you go by and you see all those women laying asphalt or pouring concrete, laying rebar, bending rebar, holding the stop sign and then turning it around to say slow when it's your turn. All the women you see doing that could, they could be gone. If we don't let them get their abortions.

Terrifying prospect. It's a terrifying prospect. The 300% rise in head-on collisions and construction zones. All the women Uber drivers, how many women Uber drivers do people have? I haven't looked, but I imagine it's about half, right? They could all be the women doctors lawyers the system is gonna fall apart is what i'm saying basically we've got to get on top of this before the sex strike before the sex the scope of the sex strike

gets any bigger because if it's just if it's sex no problem you know no problem i could deal i could deal with that i got a video games to play. I got books to read. Yeah. Woodworking projects that I could I could have. You know, quite frankly, that's sexist for their benefit a lot of time. Happy Mother's Day. But the scope grows beyond that. I don't know. We've got some big problems. Real problems. We've got some big problems. Yeah. Yeah. We've got some big problems. Real problems. We've got some big problems.

Yeah. Yeah. We should have our own, I'm going to do my own strike. What's that? If a woman has not had sex that day, oh no. Oh no. I'm not paying for shit. That's my, that's my sex strike.

Okay. I encourage everyone to do their own. Let me see if I have anything. Aren't they, aren't all women always on a sex strike? I don't know. What holes are out there, like not on a set, I thought that they're, you're always negotiating to fuck them. Like every man could run a union, could settle a union dispute.

Every man who's ever had sex could be on either side of a negotiating table for a union contract dispute. Because all we ever do is try to deal with them and negotiate them to have sex with us. Where are the ones that are not always on a sex strike all the time? They're out there. They're out there. They're very busy, I imagine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're trying to work you in for June of 2023. Yeah, the women who are not on sex strikes are like planning a Star Wars trilogy. Like, oh, I'll get around to you in 2024. They're all on the sex strike all the time. So what I'm saying, what kind of pose are not on sex strikes? Pose.

All the time, all the time, I have to watch my behavior, all the time. All the time, I have to watch my behavior all the time because of individual sex strikes, looms at any second. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I've got a bunch of stuff for mental health. Oh, God. Oh, God. Never will I tell Reddit that they need to lose weight. Ever. Okay. I've told the wrong, I've told a couple women that they needed to lose weight a couple

times and I regretted it. You know, oh man, I feel like these jeans are a little tight. Perhaps you could lose some weight. Right? You're supposed to know that the dryer shrunk them. That's what fucking happened. Everybody knows this. Yeah. The dryer shrunk your, um, shrunk your, uh, car seat too, and your wedding ring. What else does the dryer shrinks a lot of things? Well, it's like a sex strike. You know, the first, the dryer shrinks what you put in it,

and then its scope creeps out. Oh, yeah, modern infrastructure is shrinking everything. I guess dryers what makes chairs creak when you sit on them now But I've learned my I've learned my lesson It doesn't sound like it Jesus Christ I don't even want it. It's mental health week. Is it? Yeah, still. It coincides with people who are warming up to perform at the opera week.

You know what that sounds like? Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me Good clean jokes. Yeah. Mental health. Four of the best ones. Well, it is a, that is an identity

that I did not know existed until seeing the meltdown after last week. An identity. The mental health identity. I thought that the idea that everyone is a, no one gets, you know, myself being the prime candidate of someone who does not get enough exercise. We did some twitch streaming, me and the Lairishman.

Yeah. And I had my Twitch streaming settings set up wrong, so it made me look like a big fat ass. Oh, yeah. I don't know if you saw any pictures of that. No, no. I bring one up for you. Okay. Yeah, those are...

What do you mean, yeah? No, I mean, those settings are... That's the settings. That's... You know that that's the settings. I do. See, look, it's the perspective, first of all, Twitch has a settings that's set on by default that makes you look really fat right around the midsection right there.

Yeah, I mean, part of it's the Bundy. That couch does that too. The couch does it. Yeah, absolutely. The couch does it. Yeah, I don't think you actually look like that for real. I definitely don't look like that. No. You're also, you're not that red either.

That's true. Yeah, it's all fucked up. That said, you can't trust that. It's all, it's been made to look. It's a made look. It's Photoshopped it for you. Here's me sitting in a Los Angeles Dodgers shirt on my couch while I'm trying to play video games

with my nephew looking like a big fat fuck. So speaking as someone who definitely needs to lose weight, definitely, and stop using drugs recreationally, I thought we were all on the same page that exercise is a major component of your, as a major primary component of your mental health. Absolutely. And that the world is a wash in an epidemic of quick fixes and easy fixes. Yeah, we are.

And that things that are unnatural things that you put in your body are necessarily bad. Well, nope, you can get through this without going, we can get through this without anecdotes, God damn it. What do you mean anecdotes? I'm, excuse me for interrupting you. I have another point. Go ahead, say what you're gonna say first.

I don't believe that the answer is exercise and that's it. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think there's one, I don't think there's one thing like that. Exercise absolutely helps with your mental state. Yeah. Also how, you know how hard it is to get people to that end though. What do you mean? As soon as you add, here's my problem.

As soon as you put, it's not all on it. You have just opened, as soon as you say it's exercise, but that's not all. You have opened the floodgates. Sure. Yeah. You have opened the floodgates to people who are never going to do it. The number of people who are,

and I actually looked up to stats here, I don't know. I think you owe it to yourself to explore all the options. Waterboy. Give it an honest effort. Waterboy posted this big essay about how I was wrong for not congratulating people for taking medication, I guess. It's, I mean, it's shitting on it. And I do shit on it because that's kind of, because no one else is doing it.

I mean, you've got billion dollar companies, food companies, and medical companies running ads all day every day to try to get you addicted to their shit. There's a lot of resistance to it. There's a lot of groups out there. Where, what do you mean? You can find anti, you can find anti-pharmaceuticals. I mean, well, the church of Scientology number one.

Okay. But I mean, I'm saying, I don't want to fuck the thing. Yeah, sure, but you know, other, I mean, you're not selling, you're not selling, working out either. Being sure is an out there saying, you guys need to move your fucking asses.

Big, nobody's out there saying, hey, Disney didn't, Pixar didn't put, by the way, this is a documentary in front of Wally. It really is. It starts fucking moving your asses. No, you do. I had people, I think a lot, I do think a lot of people's moods would be greatly improved if they exercised regularly. It does. It releases chemicals. It's endorphins and yeah, it's, it's good for you. It's good to exercise. It affects your mental state positively. There's no doubt about it. I'm sorry for suggesting that 75% of America was like a ripe pinata for the drug industry because they don't exercise at all.

75% not at all. That's terrible. At all, your brain cannot function. If you're not moving your ass every day, it cannot function, it will never function. It's fine if you want to compensate with drugs, I compensate with drugs for all kinds of shit. But I know that it's not healthy.

It can't possibly be. Well, everybody's life, my point is. It's a different thing though too. Like, are you using drugs to temporarily get out of your mind and escape? Are you using it? You know what I mean? Because you could be doing better.

Because you could be fighting more for the things you want, because you're married or you're dating someone who's a horrible cunt all the time, and makes you feel like shit, because you could be doing more. I know that's why I'm drinking a lot, like okay. I just need to check out for a little bit. Absolutely.

Absolutely. I understand that. Yeah. I understand that it's not mental health. I don't have a chemical liquor in balance that I need to satisfy every night. It's just drugs that I want to do to feel better for a little bit. And that's why a shitload of people are doing it. Every time I check jokes about popping a Xanax, well, a drowning half a bag of wine. She's not achieving mental health by doing this.

No, no, no, no, no. And the Xanax and stuff like that, those are, you know, to calm, it's more like using it to escape. What I talk about, I talk basically about, you know, SSRIs, SNRIs, things that keep you, that change you mildly and keep you at a certain level, or the ability to kind of be at a certain level. You don't feel different.

There's no euphoria. There's no, do you know what I'm talking about? It doesn't, you're still the same person. You're talking about you. Yeah, but I'm talking about how, this is how they affect people. You can't do. No, no, there's more than just me. You can't, but you can only talk about how they affect you.

That's true. Other people say it's like that, but you know how I feel about other people. I don't buy it. But there's many of us have the exact same experience as described by people. Since I'm not anyone's head, your point is valid. I can only talk about what it's done for me. Okay, but look at the numbers. Yeah. Look at the numbers and look at who's selling burgers now based on your personal experience. That's the identity I have a problem with. But they're not.

They work for this guy by a fucking hamburger. That's exactly the opposite. But do you think burger king is advocating like pharmaceuticals? I don't quite get the correlation. I just get a cheesy marketing move. Oh no. I think I see that they have found a new identity

to cater their products to. That's what I just said. And that is people just like cheesy. Whatever, you know what I'm both to dip. I'm saying, you're a damn sh**. People are saying the most insane things I've ever seen to defend this identity. There's, there's things shit. Burger King specifically.

Doctors, they're saying, I was having, I've had been arguments with people who are suggesting that psych, that most people, or anywhere near an appropriate number of people are being, are having to commit to lifestyle changes before they get prescribed drugs that affect their brain. And that is a complete lie. Unless, unless they're saying that,

oh yeah, they're saying that people are doing that step. They're saying that if you go to the doctor, they're not just gonna give you pills. That's a fucking lie. I know it's a lie because a percentage of them will and it's a big fucking percent. Yeah, I don't know what the percentage is, but they, but no, they're,

look, let me give you this one. Yeah. 30% of antibiotics are over prescribed and they know how antibiotics work. They know that's an epidemic. How many anti-depressants just based on that? 30% over, over prescribed. How many?

Yeah. How many, what's the number of for anti-depressants? It's got to be a shit load. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I, I'm not sure. I'm not really sure. Four million kids diagnosed with ADHD. Trust.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got a problem with that. Yeah, I sure fucking do. I'm sure. School sucks. Yeah. I'm sure a lot of that is just kids being kids. And maybe not having the discipline and stuff.

I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Women prescribed antidepressants, two to one. Is that right? Yeah. Is that in any way, is there any way to describe that as a responsible medication, two to one? I don't know because I've never read anything other than men and women have about the same rates of depression, I believe. Like how they're getting twice as many drugs.

Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing though, too. Women are much more likely to talk about it. Much more likely to talk about it than men. Most men don't. Happy Mother's Day. Most men don't talk about it. And they're miserable and don't really think that there's an option to do something about it.

Another study I found, 50% of the prescriptions of any depressants were made for a disorder that was not depression. Instead, they were prescribed for anxiety, insomnia, pain, well, other types of mental things that it's not. Well, yeah, but there's a lot of drugs that have an off-label use, that they were developed and approved for something, but they tend to be very effective at other things. For instance, a drug called Lamotrogene

was made as an anti-seasure medication. It happens to be probably the most effective mood stabilizer there is. Bipolar, or I think they prescribe it to schizophrenia. Very effective for that, not a good anti-seizure medication. So they basically have two moods stabilized. You have lithium, which is 40 years old. Five percent of all of that.

By the way, my belief that it's being over prescribed does not preclude there being actual medical reason. Here's my, here's what I'm saying. Yeah. How many percentage of people who are on immunosuppressants for getting a heart transplant are overprescribed? Zero? How many people who just had a heart transplant and are getting immunosuppressants to keep the organ alive are needed? 100%. Here's the thing. Mental health has that stigma of,

it probably doesn't exist or it can be fixed in this way or whatever because you can't see it. That's a big difference. You know what? I can because you're 300 pounds. I can see it playing as fucking day. That's it. I can see a cabinet full of liquor bottles upstairs.

I can see it playing as fucking day. That's an expression, but what if you have somebody who's just average build, walking around, basically functional? You can't fix everybody. Everybody's got to find their own way. No, that's right. That's right. What I'm saying, but what I'm saying is that big companies are motivated for sure, by

money, to get a substantial portion of people addicted to their product. What I'm saying is antidepressants conform to every single other product that is ever made, which is, they want to sell it. They want to sell it as much as possible. Absolutely, trust.

Absolutely, everybody needs it. A hundred percent. How many people medically need liquor? Zero. Right. What's the percentage of people between immunosuppressants and liquor? I don't know. Right.

What do you think? Your last statement, I 100% agree with. I'm gonna go. I would push that all the way up towards 80. I don't know. Maybe even higher. I'm not even gonna spit ball. But.

Uh, Waterboy wrote this essay about how it was dick for, well, you know, it's Waterboy's nice guy. He didn't say stuff like that. He doesn't like that. He was going through all his life. First of all, went to a bunch of doctors, drugs, drugs, drugs, he said, no, no, no, I don't want to do it. But so it exactly is I was saying, it exists. And it does mean nothing to me, you know?

Well, yeah, and they say, look at the numbers. Nobody works out. Everybody, 20% of people work out. Yeah. Minimum to the minimum. Yeah. 16% of people are on meds. Are we to believe that all of those same 16% of people are also the only ones working out? I don't think so.

Again, all drugs should be legal, do whatever you want, I don't care, but be fucking careful. Oh, absolutely. I have a big problem with pharmaceutical companies shaping the mind of the free world into complacency. You owe it to yourself to do the research as much as possible and figure out what you're because there will be, you will deal with some kind of annoying side effect at least. Just know what you're doing. That side of it might be being happy. Just to be honest, which is the worst.

Yeah. Oh, being, it's not really even being happy. It's feeling like you're functional. You can deal with life's ups and downs. It doesn't mean you can't get low. It doesn't mean it's just more, like I said, I think I said the best description I have is that properly diagnosed and the proper dose,

it allows, they allow you to have your better days more often. That's about, it's, there is subtle as that, you know, and that's the, again, lowest dose possible, least amount of medication possible. You work out all the time though. Uh, no, I don't work out that much. Look at you.

Oh, shut, don't be one of those Instagram const that never, it looks like you and says they don't work out. Sean, a couple of you know those girls get out of here. But, uh, yeah, what do you eat fries all the time? Fries and pizzas. I never work out. I did, I ate an entire large pizza last night, and like 10, 30. I had one, I was, I ordered a whole pizza.

And then I start, I ate one slice and someone posted a picture of me on Reddit looking fat and I threw the rest in the car pitch. Yeah, I don't know what, I mean, it's, it's bad. The older I get, the less willpower I have when it comes to food. Yeah, well, yeah, me too when it comes to food. Yeah. Well, yeah, me too. You want to talk about a, you want to talk about a little bit of an escapeism or kind of trading.

It's like, what's interesting, I found out this is very common with people who stop drinking. You get a sweet tooth. Oh, I see that. Because the way they sugar, oh my God, man. I've heard that. Dude, I never had a sweet tooth. And now it's like, man, I really want that fucking cake. Mm.

Do you watch, have you ever seen cake fart? Cake fart. Yeah, video series, I've been posted where she farts on cakes. Farts on cakes? You might like that. I totally believe that's out there. I know you're not into cartoon pornography, so I have no idea what turns you on.

You might like that. Okay, that's not cartoon, right? Not cartoon pornography. So I have no idea what turns you on. You might like that. Okay. That's not cart. Right. Not cartoon pornography. Cake fart. And then is there somebody eating the cake? I know I always come before halfway. I don't know. It could be. Well, I've never watched the video all the way through. Placebo effects account for 30% to 45% of well, it's like these from random shit. I mean, the worst thing. Yeah. No one will believe it's like, where these from? Did random shit just, I mean, you know what the worst thing is? No one will believe. It's like, well, I mean, I always wonder if it's, if it's like, you know, WHO, I know,

because it's like, as it, all jammas or whatever. Here reviewed, you know what I mean? Cause like, there's, hopefully, and that's a problem with, there's so many pages you have to scroll through and then like, cause this is how I do it.

But here's the other thing. Who is this organization? Who are they aligned with? How are they funded? How are they, you know, like, because this is how I do it. But here's the other thing. Who is this organization? Who are they aligned with? How are they funded? How are that, you know, like, I mean, it's, I try as best I can to get to the bottom of it, as well as you're allowed to online. And that's sometimes it doesn't seem to be very well.

Okay, here's my, this is the last thing I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, hopefully. First of all, what you're saying about how LeCou's behind it, because no one is motivated to show that they don't work. They're only motivated to show that there's works better than their competitor, that their drug works better.

Like, you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, but I have to believe that there are, it's like, here's the thing, but that's important. Some doctors, there's no organization advocating for no seatbelts, right? But what I'm saying is, hey, not every study that's been done on them is funded by the pharmaceutical companies, you know what I mean?

And like, there are some doctors who believe in the Hippocratic oath. Not all of them got into it. No, come on, you got, I can't, you got to give me that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Some of them actually want to help people. Some of them got into it. No, come on. You got to give me that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some of them actually want to help people. Some of them, I don't think that's good either. There's a long history of people. I mean, doctors, some doctors used to advertise for cigarette brands, right? The cool ones. I mean, they knew that it was bad news. Yeah, believe me, they're not infallible. Oh yeah, so water boys letter that he wrote.

He was describing how he's been on various medications throughout the years. Yeah, I had one question for him. People thought that was being a smart ass or making a joke, whatever. Somebody rattled off the list of people who've killed themselves. Like, I'm the asshole. I said, do you exercise?

He says, no. Well, what am I saying then? What of my points, which one, my major point of, you have to exercise? Oh, I have to do this. Totally agree. That's my major point of you have to exercise? Oh, I have to do this. Totally agree. That's my only point. And that as people drift away from God,

as they stop exercising and embrace the pill popping more and more, that's why we're seeing it on TV, as it gets more and more accepted collectively. Because you know people. You know how lazy people are. You know what they're going to do. You know how lazy people are. You know what they're gonna do. Well, especially where we are definitely a quick fix

society too, an instant gratification too. Which, if there was a pill that could make you think your girlfriend treated you with respect, guys would rather take it than tell their girlfriend, hey, don't ever fucking talk to me like that in front of my girlfriend. There are also many, many, that's funny. Yeah.

Remember, even the best ones will have some kind of side effects and a lot of people don't, they try to get off them and they don't, when they go back to being unmedicated, they're not, they're miserable again. So it's, it's tough because you can say, yeah, it's got this side effect, this side effect, this side effect. And at the end of the day after cycling on and off, you go, fuck, it's still better than the alternative. That's a real common story. I'm sorry. I got to stop. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no you there? Hey, I'm gonna go. Oh shit, Porcelain does these amazing documentary. Sorry man, I texted you earlier to come on. I didn't know.

I didn't know that. I didn't think you were coming. He just put out his Sargon documentary today. Interesting, I would think. Oh, Sargon's an interesting guy. Sargon is a fascinating character. Yeah. Watching him, sorry, Porcelain, I'm just going to introduce it.

Thank you. I got you guys. So Porcelain makes documentaries on weird fucks. He makes these great documentaries on the rise and fall of online. Yeah, he's got this really interesting way of telling stories that make everybody into like a Greek tragedy character. Like everybody is kind of on these Icarus arcs. So they have opportunity, they get to live some of it, and then you can watch their personal,

like that you can watch them destroy themselves. Yeah, no, like a true tragedy because of some kind of a character flaw or a moral fault. Yeah. It's like how, you know, right? How tragedies work and their own undoing. You've been working on this Sargon documentary forever. You've been promoting it. I've been looking forward to it for like a month, but it just launched today. And I wanted to get you on to talk about it.

So, hi, how you doing? How's it going? Very well. I've just recovered from a long overdue sleep. I've been trying to rush to get this thing out as quickly as I can because obviously, what's going on right now is an absolute nuclear dumpster fire. So, I've been really, it's been really fortuitous the timing of this really. So, yeah, it's been a really long slog, but I'm so glad I'm finally rid of that guy. Sean, just so I can tell people, Sargon is currently running for office in the UK.

And there has never been a more poorly received candidate than Sargon. I don't doubt it. Where are you from? Just out of curiosity. I'm from the Midlands. So, uh, okay. In the middle of nowhere essentially. Okay, gotcha. I thought I knew it wasn't like, self. I was trying to pick an act. Oh yeah, what time is it there, by the way?

I love playing that game. It's 8.35. It's about 8.35. You're 35, Sean. You're away off. I'm looking at the clock. Okay. Porcelain, what can you tell us about Sargon?

He called into this show. I was very pleased to see that we made the documentary. Cool. And twice as two segments, you also got in for the Transsexual segment when you discuss with Sargon his proclivity of messaging pre-op transsexuals, which I thought was hilarious, but I can't believe it. Me too.

But the reason I really, I really came on my radar, it was before all this MEP stuff obviously because that occurred later on. So anybody who thinks always doing this to maybe detract him from his MEP candidacies, it's not true, it was planning this for a while. Oh, yeah. It's the, if you talk about the sort of archetype of the internet e-grifter, it just fits every mold to the perfect degree. So e-grifter? Yeah, he was absolutely on my radar for a while really.

And I wanted to be fair because at the same time, I do enjoy, or I used to enjoy a lot of his content. I think when it comes to Brexit, it's not necessarily what he says. Like what he's content on Brexit, he's actually very bright and correct in a lot of the things he says. And he puts things across in a decent way.

It's just this dichotomy from him trying to pursue the political statesman route at the same time as having this like internet shitstorm that's going on as well. And it's this like lack of foresight that he has to not understand that one's going to impact the other and actually they're both diametrically opposed. You know, that to me was incredibly interesting. And I just listening to you talk about it, it makes me realize why he's so fascinating because all of us have different theories on why he's such a fuck up. Like it resembles Maddox in a lot of ways because he, like, just a tweak, like I agree with him.

I agree with Sargon. I agree with everything he says, just like you, I used to enjoy his content. I think some of his stuff is funny, but it seems like when he gets in over his head, or when he, so he told another MP, parliamentary candidate, or someone who who's in parliament that he wouldn't even rape her, right? Like that's what he tweeted at or something. And I can, I'm a guy who's made a lot of jokes that didn't land. And I know one when I see it. Oh, yeah. The proper way that could land. It could, but he fucked up the punchline because he didn't give, he didn't make it clear that he didn't want to rape her. Like, it is, like, he didn't, he didn't properly contextualize

the rape by saying, because, like, because I have, I still think that's, that word is way to radio active, to be thrown around in, in for when you're running for public office in use with another candidate. I'm just see now he doesn't he doesn't acknowledge that either. Yeah, instead of just saying I fucked up the joke like I think you could pull off that joke by saying like oh because the guy who originally said it is Brazilian political candidate said because you wouldn't deserve it. Oh, I didn't even know that came from somewhere. It came from somewhere, but the punchline is so important because now you have to, that's what makes it sadtier.

Now it's, do they not deserve the rape or do they not deserve the pleasure of the sex? Like, I can't tell what you're saying. But it, it, it's a punchline. When Sargon does it, it's like, what do you, why, I don't get it. You make a lot of jokes that I don't get. I wouldn't even rape you. I mean, I thought about it before,, what do you talk? Why I don't get it. You make a lot of jokes that I don't get. I wouldn't even rape you. I mean, I thought about it before, but now I wouldn't even do that. Yeah, like, what are you saying, Sargon? He seems like a guy who's really impressed with his wit without having to demonstrate it. Yeah, that's definitely right. Yeah. And now,

go ahead. So that quote, I, I, I again, in the documentary, I do defend it. I, that's definitely right. Yeah. And now, go ahead. So that quote, I again, in the documentary, I do defend it. I think that, yeah, it's a very awkward attempt at a joke, but I, you know, you've always got to defend anybody's attempt to make that and and swing and miss as he did. So, so I do defend that in the documentary. I defend his, his pursuit of free speech now, for instance. But the whole thing is all about timing, and it's about the context of where he's coming from and what he's trying to do. Again, it's this diametrically opposed double life that he's leading, where he's trying

to do one thing and the other. What do you think that is? What is one thing and the other? Like what to you? Oh, so the one thing, obviously, is he wants to maintain his internet cache, his celebrity cache on the internet. He wants to maintain his post-Ekeke Stanney, you know, hot mold that he's, he's earned himself on the internet. Right. And on the other side, again, he's doing the political statesman thing where he's

trying to change minds on a grand level. You know, we're talking, you know, when Nigel forage, when Brexit passed, that was 17.4 million normies, essentially, who somehow were convinced by Nigel for fucking forage. So it takes a very unique skill to be able to pull that off. And I think when you start your candidacy by channeling your Trump moment and yelling at a sky news reporter off the bat, I just think that puts a sour taste in the mouths of the normies who are who you're going to need to rely on. And I think that he's gone into this whole MEP thing in a what can this do for me rather than what can I do for the movement.

And that for me is most unforgivable crime he's made because that essentially affects my life as well. I'm a Brexit ear and unfortunately now I can't see this having a good face on it anymore. No, I agree with you too, that's upsetting to me too. So Sargon enters and he is for Brexit, but because he's so, he's like a lightning rod for sticking his foot in his mouth, he's turned the whole debate of Brexit into, well, this guy is apparently some kind of, some kind of rapist. And he's for it too.

Like, so no, it's like, okay, so do you want to be in the EU or do you want to rape? Like, well, I mean, I don't want to rape. So I guess I'm just going to stay like, yeah, he has this magical way of sucking support out of people. Yeah. And just, just, you know, people want to maybe join that side, but he's down in the, the pig trough for, you know, in the shits throwing mud on them. And it's like, I don't want to stand next to you.

You smell like shit. Yeah. He's like a guy when, if your buddy gets into like an altercation with a murderer, and you're like, okay, let me, just, let me kind of work this out. And he just keeps chirping. You're like, well, you shut the fuck up. Right, right. Stop saying rape.

Just stop saying, stop calling it rape. You're moving us in the wrong direction. Everybody who supports, everybody who knows what you meant already supports you, stupid. We're trying to explain to people who don't know you. I think it's not a given what you're saying. I think the dual, you know, interleaving, interweaving life to kind of think the online life and then like the like regular life. I think it's very interesting because it seems to me like we're at some kind of a transitional period, and it's going to be hard for somebody like him to do that until everybody who's

running for public office has done it. Or most people. It's like, oh, yeah, I've had a YouTube channel for a long time. Oh, yeah, you can pull videos of me saying stupid shit when I was 21. You know what I mean? Like, do you see what you think that's a valid point? I don't, you know, I think that's going to become more common and more accepted because more people will have done it. What do you think, Porcelain?

Yeah, I agree. I think a good example. Nigel Farage was on a BBC show this morning called the Andrew Marshall. He dressed down Andrew Ma in a very entertaining, actually. Stan Andrew Ma in a very, it's very entertaining actually, where he basically says that same thing that the mainstream media were, that they're running out of ideas and this whole recycling, all things that people say isn't working and we're seeing that with the results of Brexit. The trouble is, I don't think Sargons, the trailblazer in that sense, I don't think he's the trendset, I don't think he's the guy to carry the flag of that, because he just doesn't have any charisma. He doesn't know who the fuck he is, as far as the wider British public go.

So it's just an awkward, bumbling oaf who's basically just putting his foot in his mouth at every opportunity now. Well, you know, like, then they also get to just go, look at these, yeah, an internet freak. Yeah. You get to, you know? Well, you know, like, then they also get to just go, look at these, yeah, an internet freak. Yeah. You get to, you get to, they're pissed. People have throwin' fish at him.

Really? Yeah, what do fish have to do with it? Is that like a, you know, everyone hates getting fish thrown at them. Yeah, that's just that. There's no, yeah. His detractors don't even have to be clever. That's how you know how fucked you are

when your enemies aren't even clever. They're just throwing fish and milkshakes at you. Milo's laughing at him. He shows up with him to speak and a guy's heckling him and Milo's fucking laughing like, come on man. You've got to see what we've been trying to tell you for a year now. And if it's difficult for people to learn a third way. You do want to be to put your weight behind someone like that, someone who is taking it to the media and who is a proponent for free speech and all this kind of stuff.

But it's about timing, it's about the personality. And again, if you're taking on the free speech crus Crusade, at the same time where this really delicate Brexit negotiation period, where literally the public's opinion of leave or stay matters so much. It matters so much because there's a very big chance still that we might end up with a second referendum. And of course, that shouldn't happen. I don't necessarily think Sargon's helping the cause in any way. It's all really me either. And I said the same thing when he got his Patreon deleted. Because you know, I made you were warning him on the show. Like don't do that.

You're not that guy. Don't go villain. You're right. Yes. Because it's don't be a bad guy. And I was you are not a bad guy. Because within a couple weeks, all of a sudden, shit started hitting the fan.

Because, like, you can see Sargon, when he's, when he's giving these speeches, and you know, people will, people are gonna say it doesn't matter, but look, this is a YouTube guy who's now running for public office. So, fucking matters. And he's not at zero.

He's got people, he's got people that support him. And it's also not about Sargon, because this is the future. Well, people launching political careers off of YouTube is exactly what I'm saying. Yeah. When you watch him speak, he's it's clear to me that he's performing for himself or people that already agree with him. And this is the absolute worst person that you want to be representing your cause at a political level. He can't grow it. No, and when he gets angry, he just turns in.

You can see him get angry at people and then get snarky and sarcastic. If you're going to get angry and display anger, you've got to hitler it out there, man. You've got to start pounding podiums or a cruise chefah, whatever, whoever you, you've got to project it out there and get people excited about the anger. Then like instead he gives these kind of school boy retorts and then looks for a teacher that isn't there for approval. Yeah, I don't know.

That's absolutely right as him playing it all to himself. His own audience and literally playing to his own little bubble. And that's literally the worst thing you can do in politics. If you just entrench yourself in your own little political hog box and you don't appeal to anybody else. And that's why Nigel Farage again, I'm not fanboying over Nigel Farage in the same way. Oh please do, I love Nigel Farage. He's fucking great. He's very palatable, and that's the word I used in the documentary. As far as those kinds of people go, because they're always going to be very difficult, you know, it's going to be difficult for someone like Farage to run in a place like Britain

where even the BBC, which is obviously a licensed paid media outlet that's run by the government essentially. Yeah, it's crazy. Where even they are having a difficult time getting anything to stick on in. It takes a very special character, like Nigel Farage, to be able to navigate that. Even Jared Baton's having a terrible time with you, trying to replicate what Farage did. Yeah, I think that, yeah, if you're going to go down the Sargon route,

you better make sure that you're appealing and that you're palatable in the same way for Arches. If not, then you've got absolutely no chance whatsoever. And you're going to get the accusations that I've laid at him that he's doing it for himself, he's doing it for clicks, he's doing it for to enhance his political cache. I think a lot of it is doing it so that you can come back in a month or two's time and brag to Jim about how he was running for any P one day. I mean, this is why some people run for the office of president. Well, they know they have no chance of getting the nomination

or anything. They're speaking fees go through the roof. They can have a book. It was a former presidential candidate, Jack Meehawfer. I remember that guy. Yeah, I remember who no Riley answered the letter from Jack Mehofer. He's, well, it's exactly what I told him when he called in the show. That's going to be hard to do when you come back and your YouTube channel is deleted. That's a whole other problem. channel is deleted. That's a whole other problem. Like you've got, you've got the worst of the worst people trying to help this idiot feed himself. And he just doesn't listen. Like he's on, I mean, if he can't convince Medi-ker to support him, there's no, yeah, that's the poll number one. You need to run a poll of one. Hey, Mr. Mediker, do you hate this guy or not?

No response is, you're fine. If you're a spine. It's like a, Jim's like a litmus test. You use him as a kind of like, am I going down the right path here? Am I, you know, should I be? He's got incredible, he's got a really good sort of sense for these kinds of things.

So I think if he's not on board, chances are you're going down the wrong path. Yeah. And definitely what you shouldn't do is threaten to get him demonetized. Oh, God. Well, he's demonetized now, apparently. Medicare is?

I was sort of sad then I'm sorry. No, so I'm going threaten to get Jim demonetized. I am. Like you got into an argument and you go, oh yeah, I'm sorry about you. I'll be right back. You said you're next, Jim. I got. Like you got into an argument and he goes, oh yeah, I'm about to write you out. He said, you're next. Jim, I got Ralph, you're next. And it's like, well, are you joking, man?

Or are you just kind of spurging out? Because you get angry. Enough about Sargon. You got a ton of documentaries out. What are you going to give us a rundown on them? I've watched them all. They're fucking right. Now, how long are these?

They're like an hour and a half on a trip. And how long do they take you to put together? I mean, obviously, you don't just... Oh, forever. Well, I'm sure. Yeah, I mean, the process is really boring and long, and it's a case of sifting. Not to me.

It's a case of not to me, because to tell a, you have a cohesive narrative, you know, and it is not an easy thing to do. People go, fuck, I can make a fool. You wouldn't believe how bad most people are at everything. Yeah. Everything. Especially prescribing drugs.

But no, yeah, it takes, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it It's about a good solid work to do an average one. This one took a lot longer just because there's so much material to go through. It was very difficult to work out what to drop and where to shed because obviously you're telling a story arc as well. You're organizing what goes where. Also, you've got the writing element. My worst part is the recording of the dialogue because I'm a spastic and I can't read out loud for some weird reasons. So every take is about, you know, I have to do like three takes for

every sentence. So the whole thing is a really agonizing process. And it's barely worth it. But I can get money for these. Yeah, barely. Do you get paid for these? No, I don't, you know, don't get anything. It's just a little thing to entertain myself. Oh, really? So fucking good. Who was the one you did about that guy, the Italian comedian guy? Oh, Joe Mattorees.

Yeah, Joe Mattorees. He's so great. He's no one knows who he is. And he's this East Coast Italian comedian who's about in his 50s now and he's still trying to make it and he's still trying to, you know, he was on America's Got Talent once and they did that whole, you know, when they do the arc where they bring you on and you're the best thing ever than the week after you go on and all you jokes.

Not landing. So I love that. He goes on like like he goes on America's, you know, a thing game show. And then it's his kind of meandering, follow what where he joins. He gets on with OP or Anthony and already laying in all these huge comedians and like porcelains got him performing live with those guys and having a meltdown, like having this weird narcissistic meltdown, retreating into using his kids as a shield. So you pick these, you just do documentaries on people you obviously find interesting, right?

I mean, yeah, essentially, yeah, I do take a little people that, you know the only in Benjamin one was was a result of people That's right sir look at this guy you need to see what this guy's doing He's having a meltdown and and I was I was meant to be doing a name issue my documentary at the time because I was Down that path for some reason and luckily enough You know I caught the Joe matter that Joe sorry the yes Oh, in Benjamin thing as it was happening. So that was a really nice bit of serendipity there. No, that has a great documentary too.

It goes through, you remember, our own Benjamin we called in. Yeah. And he had, he was a little weird. Like, he was thinking, he was telling us about how society is and we were kind of just sitting like, I mean, can you just like joke a little bit? Oh, this was the, oh, yeah, no, the piano guy.

Wait a minute. The guy who played this piano song about men and women. Yes. You remember that guy? Yes. He's like a big. He's the famous, that's still my bike song, if you. Yes, that was one of his famous songs. Apparently he got into saying that we didn't land on the moon and all kinds of like he's out and he's basically big foot now

Living in the woods streaming about how the moon isn't real He's a flat that's for his well-known trying to get oh god trying to get away from Kim trails and yeah But porcelain's documentary goes through like his engagement to Christina Ricci to where he is now. So like a huge fall. That one. Detailed as fuck. Like I really want to see these guys. That's very interesting. It's great.

I can't stop. Every time I put on a personal jacket, I can't stop watching it. Thank you. Well, fuck, man, would you? You're saying you're not making any money on this? I would pay you for a Maddox documentary if the price is right.

Um, well, didn't, well, it's his name easy, PZ I think, or whatever his name is. I thought he already did one. He did a great one. That is really a fascinating story though, because you just go, wait, this all happened? Yeah. Like this really happened.

I don't wanna put you on the spot. I'm just saying, I'm just talking about it. I'm just gonna tell you what's actually thinking of doing though. This was definitely another running. And this is before, because I think me and you were talking in DM about, I think you were basically letting me know all of the law behind the Maddox thing.

I think I was the last person on the planet to find out who Maddox was. And then I just went down the rabbit hole for a day and I ended up speaking to a pod awful, that Jesse from there and stuff. Oh yeah. I don't know if you remember, but there was this long conversation chain between me, you and pod awful about like, who's to blame and all this, and I was in the middle just like not knowing what the thing's going on.

I do remember that. Yeah. But, yeah, I wanted to do, because obviously I'm very aware of stepping on people's toes and I did like the Maddox documentary that went out quite a lot. Actually, it's very entertaining. Yeah. So my take was going to be maybe you've had to do a, from one from your perspective and take it through your timeline.

Oh, that's true, yeah. But do that and then tell the Maddox story from your timeline. But do that and then tell the Maddox story from your perspective. I think that for me was something that I was wrestling with for a while, actually. Well, if you do do it, don't do it for free. Obviously now that it's known, I would pay you for a documentary like that.

Well, now there's a conflict of interest. What do you mean a conflict of interest? That. I mean, you mean like when doctors prescribe anti-depressant medication all the way? All right, man, I got to ask you, I'm then go back to sleep. I can't wait to watch this documentary. I've been building up to 9 o'clock. How do you know?

I'm awake the whole day now, but obviously I'll hop off and let you guys wrap up your show. I think that he was up all night or something doing editing. Yeah, 22 hours. Oh, it just came out today. Oh, wow, okay. There you go. I woke up and it had come out. So I sent him a hail Mary come on the show. Gotcha.

That makes you a rage, buddy. What makes me rage? Not a lot, to be honest, I'm very relaxed and I don't tend to get too. I guess the BBC, actually, yeah, the BBC, because I can accept media, establishments feeding me bullshit and lies and all that kind of stuff. But the fact that I'm held at gunpoint to pay for this thing,

only to be indoctrinated, that for me is one of the worst transgressions in modern society. And I can't stand the BBC. And I also work in television and have worked for the BBC as well, so I'm in a weird position. But I just can't stand the fucking institution. I was trying to explain to people, I brought in the BBC and the Biggest Pro.

I remember one time ago. I was trying to explain that you guys have like, the kids over there have like a fear of the TV man and stealing cable. Like that's really going around with a truck detecting people that haven't paid their fees. Like that's a real thing over there. That's really wild.

Yeah, it happened to me about two years ago because I was very principled and I refused to put my television in. I'd always just watch things online anyway. And I had a visit from the license guy. And I was pretty naive. And unbelievable. I let him come in and inspects my TV.

And it was the most weird thing of all. It was actually really cool. And it was like, okay about it. But I've seen videos where they're just like old stick in the muds and they, you know, they point your TV and well, that's plugged in. You're clearly watching television. So he's like, well, that that's plugged in. You're clearly watching television.

So it's like, well, fucking fine. None of those people ever get like Buffalo build or anything like that. Like, does that not happen there? Oh, a licensed man. Yeah, I plug in a TV guy shows up. I skin him. Yeah, that's my hobby. So it's just got a collection of licensed life in court.

Human suits. Wow. Where are you? Say, I was just I was going to say, so if you can basically prove or convince them that you don't watch TV, they'll be like, OK, cool. I just have the TV. It looks cool. It's just a work of a waste of time.

Oh, you think? Yeah. Yeah. But they are still very funny about it because obviously you can essentially watch the BBC iPlayer service, which is like their Netflix, I guess. And you still need a lot all life to do that. But it's hard to prove a negative really. So they tend to, nine times out of ten, they tend to just, you know, shrug their shoulders and walk away. But it's still an annoying thing to go through having to fill out the forms

and getting someone to inspect. And it's just like, what kind of societies that we're having at television usage monitored. And now you've got a rapist running for office. I can't believe it. I'm living in Clownville. All right, porcelain. Thank you for calling in and such. Thank you very much.

Thank you for your documentaries too. I really love them and I'm a man who looks forward to very little in life. Yeah. I really love your documentary. Less and less every day. Less and less every day. Thank you, buddy.

I have a go-away. Where can people go to find Jesus? God. Oh, yeah, sorry. Yeah, just to just search porcelain, P-O-R-S-A-L-N. Oh, yeah, that's great. Look for that. I've got a Patreon as well, patreon.com slash porcelain.

You should get on my thing. New project too. You should get on that. Not a big deal. But the other thing, yeah, I didn't know whether it's exclusive to, you know, a dick licensed creators or not, or whether it's just an open source. Oh, no, anyone could give it money. Yeah, anyone could give me money.

Hey, by the way, I'm getting a new bank and now, our porn people can get on. Why not, excuse me, adult, like artists and animators and like chicks doing like bikini, you know, yeah, right. Softcore. That's great. Got a real liberal bank there. Hey man.

Hey, hey, hey, me and my bank. I like to play a little loose. All right, get out of here. Thanks for the guys, thanks. Thanks. Oh boy, I saw a great score. Sounds like a well adjusted guy. Yeah, he does.

You gotta watch his docs. The own Benjamin one is hilarious. Okay. Like it, you just, I want to watch him just to see what these people look like. Yes. And you don't realize how much goofy shit people get up to when nobody's looking at them. Yeah, I guess so.

It's really like, Oh, Owen Benjamin has this whole, everybody who's involved in his show is like a bear and they have weird bear names. Really? They have like, you mean a bear, you mean like a hairy gay man? Yes, but like also a care bear.

Like there's like army bear and like weird bear names. You know, guys just, they get together and they build these weird, hierarchies of, of, of, ratting, of telling on each other. We're weird shit. I don't know. Go check it out.

Yeah. Okay. I will. I've got some advice. Oh yeah. And then let's get out of here. It's been a while. Yeah, it's coming up on, coming up on two.

Yeah, let's do some advice and then we've got to go celebrate Mother's Day. I've got to go wish my dad a happy Mother's Day for all the work he's put in over the years. Right. Thanks for sticking it out with Mom, dad. Yeah, yeah. Thanks.

Thanks for tolerating this shit every year. I know Mother's Day is especially tough for the dad's out there. Willy B, this is a question for whoever is on the show. I guess Dick, but recently I've realized he is a retard. Oh Jesus. Work out how to get a visa in a country where he's automatically approved a visa. I'm not you asshole.

And they don't give you a refund. Yeah. You pay 20 bucks. Work visas are a lot. Yeah. You pay 20 bucks for the instant fee, instant fee, 20 bucks for an instant tourist visa. If you don't get it, they don't, excuse me.

If you don't get it, they don't give you the 20 bucks back. This isn't, this costs nothing. Yeah, it's to check the database. So they're just taking a fee for a service and not providing the service. It costs nothing both ways, but at least when you get it, you think that your money's going to something that you can enjoy. Right.

If you don't get it, give me the fucking money back. I will definitely go, I can't come in. I can't come in. Just keep you this charge. Yeah, I can't go to your country. I have, well, I guess, had a Chinese girlfriend. We've only been dating since January, but I'm basically convinced she's the love of my life.

Wow, doesn't speak English. There you go. Effie mother's there. She's seven years older than me. Well, you're getting manipulated, buddy. She's seven years older than me. And while she sometimes seems like a retard, she says she didn't know that stars were other sons.

You know, it's remarkable the things that women don't know, that full grown women don't know. Okay. Have you had this experience? I'm sure I have. Nothing's coming to mind right now. Adult women will fail, they will fail on something that you assumed everyone knows. Everyone knows.

They will just not know catastrophically, not knowing that other stars are just things. Not knowing that polar bears are real. What? Yes. Yeah. You will find every woman in your, every adult woman in your life has a gap has a discrete gap in her knowledge That will surprise and astound you and it's up to you to figure it out. Okay. I'm trying I'm really thinking I'm trying to think of a good one Mm-hmm. I

Can't no, it's not because I live in it Raj. It's not because I live in LA Other is there is a decent percentage of the population that thinks at one time, dragons roam the earth. I'm sorry, what? There is a substantial population. What? No, yeah. What?

Yeah. I'm looking this up. Yeah. Why aren't dragons real? Dragons are real survey. Let's see. I don't know why. I believe you.

I don't know where I say it's younger people too. I can't find shit. What an asshole I look like. Eh. All right. I don't know. Maybe I dreamt it. There is a survey that it says here on people who think

that people who think dragons are real are real. Well, that's, yeah, that could be. Let's get in print kind of meta. She said she didn't know that stars were their sons. That's fine. Other times she seems, I mean, who really cares? Like that's the other thing too. I mean, who could just shit?

Yeah. Oh, the sun's star. Great. No, no. No, no, no. No, no, no, no. Well, I have heard people, they go like, do you mean? It's a what do you mean? It's a star. It's the sun guys think that make you that makes you smart

Hey, bitch check this out the sun star. Oh wow. What do you fucking do good for you? Other times she seems far smarter than me or anyone I know I'm 24 and she's my first real girlfriend My my inexperience in life and love, et cetera, et cetera has left me very confused. We split up recently. It seemed amicable, I think. I being a 24-year-old, virile, Australian male

need to sew my wild oats. She seemed to agree. She seems to have also sadly accepted that fact. We eventually broke up, because I couldn't help talking about other women I wanted to fuck in front of her. Well, that'll do it. You have friends for that. Your girlfriend is not your bro.

I think she wanted me to leave her because she really loves me and realizes I'm not ready for a relationship that she needs once at this time. Well, yeah, no shit, she's 30. I don't know, I guess I'm rambling. She's a very special woman. I guess I'm worried that I'm the asshole

and also worried about how much of an asshole I can be. I want to fuck basically everything in sight as a 24 year old male shit, I guess. But I also want to marry and have children with my cute, older Chinese girlfriend. They are inscrupulous. Yeah, date someone your own age, buddy. What are you doing? What are age buddy. What are you doing?

What are you doing? What are you doing? What the hell are you doing? Date somebody you're age or younger for God's sake, at 24, at 24 you're hooking into a, that a 30 year old woman? Get the fuck outta here. Of course she wants kids.

She doesn't want to hear about other girls. You want to fuck all the time? Well, he said he wants kids too. Oh, yeah. He wants to have kids and talk about other women he wants to fuck. Yeah, it's them. Well, he sounds conflicted about

he wants to fuck a bunch of chicks, but he also wants a family and kids. So he's, he doesn't know what to do. I don't even, I wouldn't even know how to function around a woman who's seven years older than me. I would feel that everything I said she's already heard before. Well, I wouldn't know what to do function around a woman who's seven years older than me. I would feel that everything I said she's already heard before. Well, I wouldn't know what to do.

No, some of that, there's a lot of that that's true and things that you experience at certain point. That's true. That's true. What? Have you dated a girl seven years older than you? Yeah. Is that how it feels? I can't even imagine speaking to a woman. In hindsight, you go, oh, they've already gone through that. You just, and you realize it as you go through it. Yeah. You go, okay, I get it. Yeah, it's like the age gap

and stuff that like that's real. That's a real thing. Like people go, oh, age is just a number. Oh, it's not really. Here, the age gap really, it depends. Maybe you can find somebody who, Here, the age gap really, it depends, maybe you can find somebody who has, you have similar experiences at different ages, so you're kind of mentally in the same place a lot of time, but I think that's in the extreme minority. Let me show you what the wage gap is. The age gap?

Yeah. Here's a picture of me seven years ago. And here's a picture of me now. If anybody says that age means age is just a number, look at this, look at this man. I'm not even talking about physically, but yeah. But this is a woman we're talking about. Look at the man, these are muscles I didn't even have anymore.

I know, yeah, you're a guy too, who you could get big like without much problem. I mean, yeah. This is disgusting. Look at this seven years. Who would want to see that? I shouldn't have been wearing a shirt there. I should just be, I am a couch.

Literally, I'm sitting on a couch, but that's like two couches stacked on top of each other. Hands of thousands of beers. Oh, please. That's a minimum. Look at this. This is like, this has an extra cushion on it. I'm shaped like a couch now. I couldn't even stand up like this man anymore. You just wanted an excuse to put that first picture up. I don't ever want to see that first picture again. Depressing. It's terrible. I know what you're, yeah. All right.

This is bag of Schmidt. He did a remakes of the Dixhock. All right, everybody, this is him, the Dixhock. Dick.show, thedixhock.com, patreon.com slash the Dixhock. Go check out Porcelain's video if you haven't. Doug said he would call in soon because they're doing an earthworm gym. Oh, he's like crowdfunding the origin story comic of earthworm gym. He's doing a big push now. So that should be cool.

Cool. Vegas road rage, road rage, Vegas is happening. I don't want to say before I have the dates locked in, but I think it's going to be planted Hollywood and I think it's gonna be June 22nd. I gotta sign the contract for swing. Late June in Las Vegas. Well, it's better than late, than mid July, right? Yeah.

That would be just. No, true or August. Oh God, the fucking Vegas gets so goddamn hot. Sean, they got strip pools now. They got a pool with the strip club built into it. Everybody just has erections and swimsuits. It's fantastic. Yeah. Still hot.

Well, we'll get you a nice room. We'll get you a nice cabana, help out the pool with a mister. All right, everybody, this is bag of Schmidt. So check the website if I can sign the contract on Monday. We'll get the tickets up as soon as possible. See you next Tuesday. Cool, that's cool. The drum fill was bad ass going into it.

I mean I know you should have programmed it but good taste ah This is really well done. Yeah! This is really good. I'm gonna go. Toad McGinley sent me this story that I got to read. You remember how we were talking about the gas can lobby? Yeah. Last week.

Yeah. Okay. I've got the patient zero, really, of the gas can lobby. Toad McGinley said that he was, they had to upgrade all of their gas cans at work. So he did some research while I go and found it. This is why we all have those fucked gas cans. Utah father who lost his daughter. Oh, it's always one person.

Warren's about gas, container, dangers. Note the phrasing of that. It's the gas container danger that we need to be warned about from this Utah father. David Calder says he took his little girl to work every day, Ask container danger that we need to be warned about from this Utah father. David Calder says he took his little girl to work every day, taking breaks from installing car electronics to change her diaper, feeder, hug her. Now he, hug her.

Already, that's very depressing. If I was writing a story, yeah. Change her diaper, feed her, hug her. I will know if I would put changing the diaper and then feeding. Right? But now he goes to work alone. Dr. Haley, whatever, died almost six years ago in a fire that called her a legend, started when a gas container exploded because of defective design. So now, called her 36, is pushing for manufacturers to add an inexpensive piece of wire mesh called a flame arrestor to the containers. He also wants the product

warning to discourage using gas to start fires. A practice, he believes, is common among campers. I want to know about the explosion. Like, how did that happen? On December 28, 2005, Calder was camping near Randlett in Ewing-Talk County with his children, Haley and his two sons with his former wife, Brandon Brayden, then six in Jeremiah, then nine. It was a wet day. And the wood they had gathered for the stove in their 60 foot single wide trailer wouldn't light.

Poor little gas on it. When the cardboard and newspaper didn't work, Calder resorted to something he had seen his father and others do since he was a boy. He used gasoline. In this case, fuel for his jet ski from a plastic blitz container as an accelerant. This guy is winning awards for how white trash he is

at this point. Plastic blitz. Wait, what's that? That was the name of the gas container. But it was four gasoline or fuel. Yeah, okay. Gas can. Everyone pours gas, he said,

I just tipped the can and splashed it on the embers. The can immediately blew up, he says. What happened to him? What I noticed at first was my daughter was on fire, he said. I padded her down. Braden was also burning. My hands were on fire, the boy remembers. The flames on Braden went out quickly

and he got out of the trailer. So this guy is pouring gasoline on a fire inside of a trailer. That's what I'm with his children. This is the level of idiocy. We need to protect every one from. He was actually a trailer. He was inside a trailer.

60 foot, yeah. 60 foot, what's his say? It's like a 60 foot single wide trailer. Oh my God. Calder, who's pants had ignited, thought he had put out the flames on his daughter and believed she was safe. He ran outside.

Oh yeah, I'm sure he was really thinking that he had put out the fire and that now it was safe. Okay, I've got her under control. Now I need to run outside and deal with my pants being on fire. Liar liar. He ran outside where Jeremiah urged him to stop drop and roll. Then kicked dirt on him to help him extinguish the flames. I rolled and rolled, rolled, called her said. I said, I think I'm dying. The pain was incredible. He ripped his clothes off and ran to a nearby river, but the water was frozen.

Life, it's about timing. He finally smothered the fire that was burning into his skin. By then, the trailer was engulfed in flames. Oh, God. Haley died inside. Braden and Calder were taken to a hospital in Roosevelt and then flown to the Utah Burn Center. Calder's shoot filed in 2007 alleges the gas container lacked a flame arrestor. Yeah. I know, and this stuff happens, and it's terrible that he burned up his kids, but there's no one to blame here except him. I mean, let's, Sean, I mean, it's America, you should be able to pour gasoline

on whatever fires you happen to want to indoors with your children. You can't expect people to ask their children to go way over there while daddy pours an empty, an open container of gasoline on a fire. Surely you're not suggesting that that amount of preventative measures is what you expect of people. Call their files sued in 2007 alleging that the gas container lacked a flame arrestor that would have prevented the flashback.

It seems that vapors ignited after the gasoline was splashed on the embers and the flames fall. Oh, they have an explanation for how it caught on fire. It claims that the vapors ignited after the gasoline was splashed on the embers and that the flames followed the vapor trail into the container, setting off the explosion. This lawsuit is explaining the process of fire as though it, although it is the first to do this, and that it is somehow the fault of the gas container company for not understanding

the process of fire. This is why we can't have normal gas containers in the room. No, it's, hey, yeah, it's, it's, it's been done before by people make a big stink about it. And then everything has to be made with the utility of everything has to be compromised in order to nerf it for the dumbest people on earth. It's not going to replace our daughter, he says. Maybe it'll save the next guy's daughter, yeah, maybe. Let's all, I hope so. What will save the next guy's daughter? If reading that story and going, I will never do anything as stupid as that. Yeah, I mean, so will a sterilization squad that we send house to house asking people if they do this.

What kind of question? Yeah, certain questions that are. Yeah. We send a sterilization squad around with gardening sheers. Yeah. And they show you a picture. And if you don't, and if they show you a picture, they read you that story. And if you don't laugh, they just chop your dick off.

That would also save the next guy's, all right, let's do something. This is true. Thank you, Toad, for sending that in. Oh, let's get this one out of the box. Hey, dick, I just want to let you know that you are inside, protected. I know you don't understand mental health stuff very well, so you might not understand what being retarded is, but you can probably look at that box.

Do they have a poll for that? But you just have such a crazy misunderstanding for how psychology works at all, that it's mind-boggling. I understand that you're being forecasted that the thumb degree interacting with Sean, but the fact that you're telling someone who's been dealing with the mental illness and is in researching mental illness,

that you're somehow more qualified than them to spout... I don't think you said more in garbage is to be fair. No. No. So why don't you go get your retardation checked out and, you know, we'll see where that gets you. Yeah.

Stupid measles vaccine. Because everyone wants to be you. That's why they shouldn't. They shouldn't. Were you offended by my points? No, I didn't think so. People are saying, oh my God, they're fighting. Are you guys like that? That was not a fight.

No, no, no, no. There were only a few times, like there's only a few times where I have like legitimately something to say in an opinion. I'm like, we do that occasionally and people like it. Yeah, I think so too. Yeah, it's good to do that. That's true. Hey, Dekal, I left you a podcast for you. Oh, fuck it. Not a podcast for a fucking goddamn

voicemail earlier, but that makes me fucking rage off the bat. Something that really gets my fucking tinker taken. Rost my beef, butters my bread, I'll tell you, fuck in right now, it's motherfuckers. It is those stupid motherfuckers out there who fucking count favors. County favors most annoying should have ever had to encounter my fucking. Oh my god, yeah, I buy this fucking guy a water at work one day and then fucking never comes around like this shit you one hand washes the other like I buy this to you like. Nope, yeah, no problem, man, no problem, man.

Fuckin' middle of the day, 1230 in the middle of the day. We're workin' landscape, mall lines, fuckin' it. Yeah, yeah, no problem, bro. Just pay me back back to the week or tomorrow, whatever. That's as soon as possible. Motherfucker comes out with a six pack of fucking fun light. A six pack of fucking fun light and a pack of six. So not only did he have fun, he's got a six,

but he got a fucking pack of beer. fucking case of beer six beers in the middle of fucking it's gonna case cracking them back for them and who's fucking plastic large-sized McDonald's got actually fucking owns the joint whole shit about the run out of gas but that's another thing fuck yeah fuck yeah He's having a tough time. He's having a tough time. He's having a tough time. He's having a tough time. He's having a tough time. He's having a tough time. He's having a tough time. He's having a tough time. He's having a tough time.

He's having a tough time. He's having a tough time. He's having a tough time. He's having a tough time. He's having a tough time. He's having a tough time. He's having a tough time. What do you want, Change?

He'll know not to do that again. This is my philosophy is, You ever lend somebody 20 bucks and then they try to give you like 12, 30, they try to dump the change in it. Right. Just give me the 20 back when you got When you got the 20 it's just easier. I don't have a ledger that I like I'm not gonna carry this change around with right until you give me 20 No, then I give you back this collection of metal trend and trinkets that you've subject. Yeah, it's way easier

Just to yeah, you give them the whole thing and then they give you the whole thing the whole thing back So what do you care if he goes and buys beer with it? Right. Did you want to change? You better specify if you want to change back because you are weird. Yeah, that's true. Every time I give 80s girl 20 bucks and she comes back, like to go to the store, hey, grab this, she's 20 bucks.

Soon as she walks in the door, I say, change right here, right now. Change. Because I know it's not alone. I'm not loaning my girlfriend $20. Yeah. Right. So that can she walks in. Let's go. Change. Let me see the receipt. Let me see it. All right. Okay.

Missing it. It's missing some, it's missing some right here. What happened? Some to the five fall. Did you put that in for the cancer kids? Did you know that? Yeah. You know that I don't support that because they think I'm a Nazi. Right. My mom brought some St. Jude's Christmas ornaments out.

I smashed the shit out of all of them. Yeah, they won't take your money. My money's no good with them. Maybe my cancer will be good with them. We'll see. Mm. You're a child at heart. Oh, this is a pretty insightful one.

Yeah. Happy birthday. Hey, Jacob actually got another rage for you. And so it's a phenomenon I call a fat broad bravado. And it's like, I'm sure you've dealt with this. It's these stupid fat whores. Who just... Jesus.

I think that they are like the most savage, or like the most interesting people. And I guess they do it as some sort of fucking defense mechanism because no one want to fuck them no matter how drunk they like that that's false i don't want to fuck that this girl there and she is stupid leftist and

i'm just making i'm just making jokes because that's what i do and like i can be funny on occasion. And so I'm drinking making jokes, poking fun out because she's just being a prick to all these guys there. And my friends dragged me into some fucking stupid carzing a humanity rip off game which is even worse than original cars in humanity if you can comprehend that. But one of the things is like someone's like, oh, you have to make a rule. My roommate who just wanted to be like a funny jackass,

every time you take a drink, you have to make fun of me. I'm not going to say my name on this, but he's like, oh, you have to make fun of blank. It could be anything. So the next person to go is the spot girl. And she's like, and she had a drink and they're like, okay, so you have to make fun of me. And she's like, I don't want you.

I can't really really mean. I'm like, help fucking care what you think or say. Just say it. And she's like, okay, well, and she's like, well, this is all going to be really hard. I'm like, just fucking get off it. She's like, oh, well, and she's like, well, this is only really hard to like just fucking get off it She's like, oh, well, you're rude. I'm like, you fucking serious. I'm pretty flushes one I'm like, that's the best thing to do. You said that for fucking five minutes, Dove-in-this-up, and the best thing to come up with is your meme, like, what the fuck? Try better. Do it again. Do it again.

Like, because you suck at this. You me to be all showy hard with fucking me me I also really have a name for you but you're just you're so fucking incompetent in life like do it again make fun of me better because the fuck the year so fucking stupid you can't make fun of me in a good way pisses me off do it again you should not really

pick not online by the back of the house. But yeah, that's it. So you don't fuck yourself. So you don't want to do it in the first place, right? Right. You shouldn't want to do it in the first place. You know, I thought of recently, what's that? So like, there's a lot of people

who are just relentlessly mean with each other. And that's how we talk. Yeah. But we're not allowed to be on the internet. Yeah. Right, right. Right. Where other people can get offended on someone's behalf.

Yeah. And their version of Busting Balls is to constantly be busing each other's diversity quotas and I don't know what you would call it. Not labeling them as not inclusive enough. Like that's the way they just bust each other's balls. They don't care. And I don't even think, I don't even think that it's bad to them that they don't care.

It's just a totally different way to communicate. That's what I've started thinking. I think there's something to it because they could just rattle it off, rattle it off like charges of racism and shit the same way we could actually be racist and it doesn't phase us and we don't care about it. But we hate being called bigoted or racist or whatever and they can call each other that all day and don't care about it, but it's like, but we hate being called bigoted or racist, whatever, and they can call each other that all day. And don't care.

Huh. Like if you called me a racist, I would be like, what the fuck? I'm just saying, and then, and then, and then, and I'm like, I'm not actually a racist. Yeah, yeah. And it's the same if they actually said the word, be like, whoa, I'm not, I was just saying that you don't care

about the plight of ethnic minorities. Like, what are you talking about? Why would you call me something like that? I got to, now I got to do more research. That's just an idea I had. Hey, Dick, you all make me a reach today. I'm at work and I had to call AP and T because our phone's talking up.

And so obviously the first person that answers me is or uh... automated machine or some shit and whatever it's like boys commands or whatever it's like oh well you need help with state help you to help and i say i hate those and then like hold on for some fucking reason while it's you know while it's loading and it's next automated response for some reason they put in the sound of typing. As if I'm going to be fooled in the thinking that this computer is actually typing in what I need. I've never heard that. As opposed to it just loading up the next

sound. I don't know why they want to make it more of a person, but that made me so fucking great. You never heard that. No, that's ridiculous. Yeah, that's crazy. It will really water torture you. And if you get on one of those customer service things, the other thing they do that I really hate is when they put up the box and they let you type it, it says, hi, how can I help you? It lets you type it in and then it puts you in the queue to get answered by a person. I've had that. And then when you get to the person,

they don't read what you typed in originally. It's obviously just a trick, like an elevator closed button on the door. That's like, what can I help you with? And then you type in, you guys overcharge me on the bill and say, hi, my name's fucking Pongete from Texas. What can I do for you? Like I fucking typed it in ponjee. Where did that go? Where did the thing go that I set up there? Just gone?

Yeah, I hate that too. Oh, here one more. Hey, dick. This is makeover show show. I really enjoy talking to you on Instagram. And I wanted to call into the show and kind of expand a little bit on what I have been talking to you about a few months ago. You know, I'm a recent college graduate about six months now and I studied media and I would absolutely love to be able to have my own podcast someday. And you know, I'm sure you understand that for people like us who have the kind of political opinions that they have. And for me in particular, with the religious views

that I have, it's extremely hard. People are always looking to hurt you. They're always looking to tell you a part and silence you. And I guess I wanted to ask because you're somebody who i really admire is there hope you know do you have any advice for people who are just starting out who really want to make it themselves successful take two weeks off and quick

that you like to talk about you know i see so many people get hurt like Sam Hyde and Honful opinions and so many people just get torn down when they really try and make their way to the media industry. And I guess I just wanted to ask if you have any advice. Thank you so much. I love your show. I'm one of your top artists, literally. So you ever need somebody to come on and talk about autism. Here I am, a loving man, fight. Oh man. I'm always interested in autism. Just people who are, just people who are like different from like your average run of the mill.

Like yeah, I'm fascinated. Like if they had kids. I'm very interested then. I know. Yeah, I, cash, I'm fascinated. I get to have kids. I'm very interested then. Yeah, I, Cash, I don't know. So you do get, you can get, well, she's talking about, pretty hard. She's talking about media or journalism, but it sounds more like she's talking about,

like online podcasts, right? I mean, that's, I think if you reference Sam Hyde, like he's not a journalist, he's a creator, right? I mean, that's, I think if you reference Sam Hyde, like he's not a journalist, he's a creator, right? I mean, that's, yeah, that's true. I think if you can not do it, then don't. But the people you're talking about, well, I don't know if that's enough. Like, I don't, I would run my mouth like this without a show. I cannot. Oh, no, I know.

Yeah. This is what I, this is what I tell people. I say, you don't understand. Like, he's been doing this his whole life. Oh, yeah. Now it's just he has people who listen to me. Now it's an exercise. Yeah.

Um, I think if you cannot do it, don't do it because the people you're up against would do it no matter what. You know, I can't compete with that. That's true in a lot of, you know, my uncle used to say he goes, you know what the labels don't know? I would make records for free. Oh yeah. Yeah, he goes, that's how much fun it is.

Yeah. I would do the show for free. I do do the show for free all fucking week. And it's not being recorded. Ask her. There's a whole section of the day where it's just me performing for Alexa. I find it harder and harder to turn off

like the jokes and stuff. Like I've got to watch, I got to take the vibe of the room, you know, before unleashing what has become more and more second nature to me. Yeah, fortunately, or unfortunately. I mean, just making jokes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're the zing king. I, you know, it's, I just the fastest zing in the West.

Well, no, it's just my brain has, has become used to like looking for the joke. Oh, yeah. You know, where it's like, okay, how does this turn into a joke? Yeah, I have noticed an inability to be in conversations with people about some of the things that we talk about on the show, just because having to look deeper into them

and what you're saying, like making a joke out of them makes them so much less serious to me. Yeah. That I can't participate in the conversation anymore. Yeah, I can, I can see that. The guys that you're talking about, like harmful opinions, Sam Hyde, and, you know, I guess, us on the show, um, we can't shut it off. Like, no, we didn't know this would be,

nobody who started doing this knew that the consequences would be to fuck up your whole life. After, like, nobody knew, harmful opinions didn't know that. And we started doing those videos that he would be singled out by big tech companies personally and be harassed by forces that you just take for granted are behind the scenes or unseen pervaders of products. But that's not the way it is anymore.

I don't think you can really, like Nick does a great job being wholesome family man, Nick, his beliefs have nothing to do his beliefs in Christ and the Lord and whatever else he's got going on have nothing to do with his content Right still a bad guy just because he Defends like just because he defends people and I think I think at the end of the day we're stuck with that that There's always a price. There's always stuck with that. There's always a price. There's always a price for promoting rights that we should take for granted that we don't because people are hysterical and they need an answer now.

You will always be the bad guy if you don't have an easy and easy and flattering answer. That's how it's become everybody. It's how it's become. It's nothing to do with whatever you believe in or whatever religion the girls talking about or like people being offensive. But if you are in the corner of the individual, then you are the bad guy and you will always be the bad guy because there will always be more people

Against you like you can never be bigger than one person, but mob mobs always get bigger so just numerically you got no chance If you can't if you can stop don't but not everyone can so have a good time. So have a good time with that. Have a good time with that. What was that? The Make a Horror Show? Maybe she's got a podcast. There you go, everybody. See you next. Happy Mother's Day.