The Dick Show - Episode 160 - Dick on Road Rage: Las Vegas

Episode Date: June 25, 2019

The state of permanent financial crises, an angry millennial really doesn't want to buy a hammer, gambling with your taxes, more parental kidnappings, the future is broke, returning a wallet, stabbing your mouth, Dame Pesos screws up his sound effects, Null and state-owned fetuses, how to stop people from talking to you while you're going into the bathroom, Road Rage: Las Vegas, and all the Iranian lives I have saved; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Bad, of course, it's bad. That's how you know it's, Are you sure you want to preview? Yes. Are the fuck would I click it? Yeah, and why would I be apprehensive about it? Are you sure you wanna do this? I can imagine that.

Oh, yeah, okay. All right, all right. All right. You know what, I take that right back. That's, there's a million reasons actually. Yeah. This is the one time where I don't mind the confirmation box in all of my life.

Are you sure you wanna delete this empty text file? Yeah. Prochels has one that says, if you delete these from the, well, you know what? You know what I, you know what I blew right past that? I blew right past that motherfucker. Anyway, matter of fact, I don't even, I've got a, I've got a, you know, there's a hot key

to even bypass that shit, which of course, I all know that. Yeah, which we all know that one feature pro tools that makes you instantly delete everything. Yes, it does. Without confirmation. Right, because, because if you hold a modifier key, you don't have to listen to it chirp.

So I know what I'm doing. So you are not, you will not be in charge of where the boxes go. No, no, no, I shouldn't be. Why do they want one on this streaming shit? There we go. Well, for the 10,000 reasons I can think of immediately. Right, you know what I like are the airplane ticket ones though. Yeah.

Where they tell you to purchase travel insurance Oh, yeah, and then it pops up and it's like no, I'm totally fine putting my flight and vacation at risk I'm totally fine with burning $800. Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, is that is that okay? Fucking assholes how they can make me feel bad to shame me into fucking travel insurance each shit. Yeah That actually goes into my Rage today. Oh, yeah, yeah hot damn All right, what have I got here? Life show sounds good the guy did a good job by the way great. I was Shocked at the level of professional. I'm just gonna start the show and talk about it

Well, you know, I was I was hoping that would be the case I thought it would because the right people were not there, but it's like all they do is run shows. Like they have to have the lighting guys, the audio guys, they have to fucking know what's going on. But then they gave, here's why I don't think that, okay, let me just start it. Yeah.

Hey. Hey. I think that my headphones were rehearsed. No. No. Ow, wow, she says. Yeah! Welcome to Dig, you want to dig a dig, you got it? It's this show up.

Where everything's a contest can be live from Mountain Bunker, Deep in the Heart of the City of Failure. I'm your host, Dick Masterson, aka the $20 million man. You got it in this show. Where everything's a contest can be live from Mountain Bucket deep in the heart of the city of failure. I'm your host, Tick Masters in AKA the $20 million man, recently voted America's worst Mexican 11 weeks running with me as always is

LA-based comedian, world touring, Sean the audio engineer. Hello, today, what's up buddy? My voice sounds like shit today. We did a lot of talking and so I was super horse for all through yesterday, right?

Yeah, it was the talking. That was, let's blame it on that Not our dick sucking bananas that we went on for no real. Let's let's delete that delete that Sean dick sucking bananas Yeah, we just got back from road rage Vegas last night Six hours in the car seven out how long are we in that car for hating each other? I'm alive long time in that car for hating each other, hating life, long time. Uh, uh, Robert Vegas, a huge success.

I don't know about you, but I love that show. I did too. It was really fun. It was really fun. It was great. I think the, I was so intimidated by that venue. Really? Like when we got there,

it was a great stage, wasn't it? Look out. It was beautiful. The blue lights in the background, all of the show shit, the giant screen, the giant screen, people in the booth, people in the booth that reminded me of my dad instead of the other way around. That is my gauge right professionalism in men is who's the dad in this scenario? That's right.

Are you the dad or am I the dad? Yeah, and every show so far, I have felt like the dad. Sure, but in Vegas, those guys were on top of it. That's all they do. The audio guy had just the right amount of autism. Yeah, and he didn't have to be a weirdo. I told them what I needed. He was like, he didn't ask one question a weirdo. I told him what I needed. He was like got it. He didn't ask one question

Like yep, no exactly. It got it perfect. Yeah It was and I was terrified. I've been terrified the whole time because You know everything is reverse in Vegas. First of all Bobby Schmidt Thank you so much for helping us put everything together and basically doing everything hard He's I think he runs a poker room in Vegas, hell of a nice guy, huge guy, hell of a nice guy, Bobby Schmidt. He's so even keeled while I was, while I was ramping out my freakouts before the pre-show when I literally lost all of my clothes.

I still want to know, it doesn't even matter if you get them back. I just wanna know where the fuck they went. Someone stole them. Someone's, that's the greatest pleasure in life is to lose something and then blame it on someone for stealing it. Yeah, I know. It's where my mind goes.

I know you do that. Yeah, I could, yeah, it couldn't have been stupid enough to have lost something. I didn't lose this, someone stole it. Someone stole the Stolvus costume and some grifter wandered into the hotel. I put, I can't get early. Put the Elvis,

because no one, no one in Vegas knows how anything works. It is the ultimate idioticist system where a button exists that says, start show and if that doesn't work, it's over. This is what happening. All worthless except for the tech people. Worthless for our, nobody knew anything. Nobody knew the time. Nobody knew who the contact was.

One guy had never heard of the other person who was your point person. You guys have a mic for this show, I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? You're the manager of this theater. You work here every day. You don't even know if you have a, you don't know if you have a microphone. What do you talk?

What do you know? List me the things that you know. The only thing that didn't kept me from freaking out about that was none of those people were technical people. No, I was like, look, and you shows all the time, I guarantee you there's a fucking mic locker. I guarantee you there's a, you know, right? But this is, this is what drove me insane about it because I had to hire bartenders for our show. That's what I was wearing. Wait a minute, if I have to hire bartenders, do I also have to hire audio guys and bring them, like are we gonna be sitting in a,

what is essentially a $36 million box with no audio? We weren't allowed to touch it. Yeah, but I don't know who's gonna be there. Don't know how to contact them. Don't, I know they're not staffing the bar without me. Yeah, Bobby Schmidt though, even key. I guess you gotta have to be an even tempered guy if you're running a poker room.

Cause those assholes. That's what he does, right? That's the worst, the most aggressive, the most emotional. Well sure. You're going to see people in poker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Live and then die in with every hand. So someone stole my Elvis costume for the show.

That was so weird. It was more humili- I was worried about the Elvis costume because it had a serious penis issue. Really? Yeah. Yeah. That thing, they don't make jumpsuits for a man of my size, for a six foot tall man. They only make jumpsuits for 5, 10 and below.

Yeah. I don't know why, because the world hates tall people. That's why. Yeah, once you get much why, because the world hates tall people. That's why. Yeah, once you get much over six feet, nothing's for you. No, you can't get in certain places. Some things require you to bend down and we're not like crazy tall,

but it is built for five, nine, five, 10. That is the ultimate female privilege. Is everything for them is like dad's chair. They walk under everything. They've never ducked in their life. The only time a woman has ever ducked is when she's sucked a dick. Otherwise, it's straight up and down everywhere there go. Their feet have never fallen asleep, hanging off things.

I've never bumped in the front of their knees against anything. Yeah, that's airplanes. As they cram other rows of seats in there, it's like that's, yeah, knees are always in the back of the seats. Tell people rise up. Anyway, I was freaking out about my Elvis costume. The Elvis costume is just an inch too short that I had.

So it had some major penis diggery on one side. And I brought a couple of socks to the show. Right. For, you know, to load, I was going to load up one cock on one side and then another cock on the other one. You'd look like it would be like double spinal tap, right? Right. Right.

Where they like the cucumbers are in there and it or whatever's, whatever's in there. He goes through the air metal. It's like a rubber. But it's not even connected. Yeah. The one. It's like, you see this fan next? It's not even attached to anything. It's just down the side of his leg. A even connected. Yeah. The one, it's like, you see this fan, X, it's not even attached to anything.

It's just down the side of his leg. A backup cock. Yeah. For the other side, but I didn't get to do this. How very, how very madx of you. Yes. Yes. Still a fantastic show, even without my,

my most knuckle parading around. It was fun. The one complaint that I guess I would have had as a, as a member of the audience was, was Keon's ugly mustache, right? No one should be subjected to see that. Maybe not. But that you couldn't, you couldn't get to the bar without missing the show. Oh, I had to go away and downstairs and then go wait and line for a huge, and it was like, yeah, that changed the vibe of it. And I did, I do want to people to get really fucked up

and crazy and it was, everybody was as into it as any show, like when I talk to people afterwards. Yeah. But it was like, it was almost like, it was, it was surprisingly well behaved or calm. It was like, we came out to kind of like, like a little smattering of applause. It was like, and on the first tee from Cypress California Tiger Woods. I noticed that too I think I'll make the bar having access to a bar of priority in the future

Yeah, because you don't realize until you don't I didn't realize into her there that the shows only exists to get people gambling Yes, like that's the only thing which should be obvious in hindsight, but the only reason anything in that town exists is to get people gambling. That's it, that's why they pour stiff drinks. They want about a bunch of bad judgment to get you to spend your money gambling. Speaking of drinks.

This is something I didn't get to cover at the show. Vegas is always, oh, also, I gotta to thank LA Arsene for opening the show. They were great. They were great. I mean, they were great. They had such a cool act and that like, you know, they played a backing tracks and it's based on guitar, but they really, they've really got their shit down to where they really blend in to like, it's the whole thing.

And you don't even, you just think it's cool music. You don't even necessarily realize that it's two guys who are adding to something because you know, most of the time people do that, it's like an obvious recording and then like obvious live instruments, but they really have it together. There's a really good blend. It was cool. I always thought. I always thought my army vice cocaine suit that he was wearing too.

Oh yeah. Just in case you want to know. Right. Which I should have said that first, Vegas exists always on a precipice of complete and total rapery, right? We know this, right? Teteronatial rapery. Yeah, financial rapery, soul rapery, always on the brink of rapery.

Coach God, this was the drink situation at the planet Hollywood, the place we were at, and the pool situation, first of all, which I was looking forward to for the last month of my life. I didn't even look, I heard it was fucking horrid. Sean, it was like, it was like a crappy apartment building. That's cool. You know, though, they when they stick the pool on the roof, right? I heard it was lame. It was so bad. They had, you either had to go to the family fun pool, which is so full of fatsoes that you basically are an ebophile or a pedophile. If you stay there for too long, you're going to be one or you go to the adult pool, which is about a two bath tubs full of water, and filled with so many,

they're rape beds, beds that you are not allowed to sit on, unless you pay $300 of bed, all around the pool with everybody else, every other walrus in the joint, spurching themselves on two recliners that they have available for free, looking like the sea lions at Fisherman's Wharf. Oh, I don't even know if that's the right reference,

but just crammed in there. They sink the docks at Fisherman's Wharf. And you know how public pool etiquette is, where you walk, everybody walks in and drops their towel as though they've just landed on the moon. Yeah. I claim this chair in the land of phatopia.

Yeah. Now I'm going to go sit on the edge of the pool because human beings can't share. Don't have it in us to share at all to such a degree that every single, every single recliner is taken up by a towel. That is, if the aliens come and decide whether or not to make the human race go extinct, I'm going to point them to the rooftop pool of the planet Hollywood hotels. Say go right there. Here's, yeah, run our ground zero.

Yeah, run our, do whatever calculations you have to do on that. Won't share chairs, no one to know where to sit for us, charging for chairs that aren't getting no use. All day, every day, no one is sitting in those $200 day beds. Good stuff. Coach comes back with drinks.

I forget what he's drinking from me, whiskey from me, and a red sludge for himself that was supposed to be a daquery, but the reason it's not cool. I have never known coach to drink daquaries. He drinks in the time of the day determines what he's going to drink. So he has like dessert beers and stuff like this. He's a, you know, he's a weird drinker. Wow. Okay. Kiss a lot of enjoyment out of it. I know he likes beer, and I know he was really into scotch for a long time. Yeah. Yeah. You would always bring up a different

bottle when the three of us would get hammered. No, he, uh, he's upgraded to Dacqueries now. Okay. Or a Dacquery like substances. He brings over a cup that is full of a red sludge. I see what's happening in Dackery. They forgot to, you know, free to get a Dackery. It's just a juice that you're drinking. You're drinking a Cosmo right now and goes, oh yeah, get this, 20 bucks, 20 bucks.

And they said it doesn't freeze. It's not a slushy because there's too much alcohol in it. Oh, the drink is so good, you understand, Sean, that we, it is the collective self-hypnosis of the completely incompetent one after the other. Another waitress passed by and said, hey, can you get a new drink? His batteries is fucked. That's how good they are. Oh, yes, sir.

That's how good they are. Yeah. Because, sir. That's how good they are. Because there's so much alcohol in it, doesn't freeze. Yeah, I'm sorry. Can you go get Bill Nye and have him explain to me? How go get Bill Nye to explain to me? Oh, what do you want him to explain? Why the alcohol doesn't freeze? No, get him to explain to me why you could be so stupid

as to think you're serving Dackeries in a in this in a liquid state. When what the Dackery is is a frozen icy type concoction that is delicious. Yeah. I don't think you know what a Dackery is. Yes. Why you should be calling it a Dackery. Yes. This is a problem. This is a gross chemical slut

that you've served and called a Dackery. I don't care about the alcohol part of it. I want the science of that. Explain to me that, please. I never got an answer on it. No, no. You wouldn't. Probably a brighter brain.

Thank you, everybody, for coming. Yeah, it was really fun. I wanted to tell that, what were you telling me in the car about that guy, Edgar? Edgar, who got his book? That's poor guy, man. This guy Edgar, Edgar who got his book. Oh, that's poor guy, man. This guy Edgar, a really, really cool dude from Miami. And he was hanging with us after the show

and we kind of went over to the, the ARIA and stuff for a, for Tanner's midget stripper party. Midget stripper who, who fucking took a security deposit and inscated. Yeah. I don't know if it was, I had heard the numbers between $408, $100. I don't know, you know, what the, what the, she took it and absconded.

She got her in a bunch of other ones, made a suit of real, real sized person suit. Yeah. Took off at the territory. Yeah, well, I was pissed about that because I finally, I finally got in the mood to want to see the midget strip. I want to see her. Yeah, I wanted to see her totally. First I was like in the mood to want to see the Midgets Tribune.

I want to see her. Yeah, I want to see her totally. First I was like, I don't want to see this. I already saw the Sonic trailer. I don't need to see two naked Midgets. What is the draw here, guys? I don't. I just, just curiosity.

And then it got me. Yeah. The curiosity got me. I was surprised that you didn't want to go to the Spirit Met Rhino like right after. I was like, oh shit. Because it was like a decision, you know what? No, because I need to wean myself off the attention If I go from full maximum attention of the show right right to spirit met Rhino where the women are getting the attention Yes, I'll probably have a cardiac arrest shock to the system. Yes. Yeah, I'll be up on stage dancing and that's not good for anyone

I've been kicked out of a strip club for that before. I don't mean it's not. I don't doubt that for a second. So we go to the Aria. So we Hanner's. Yeah. Hanner's Aria party. Right. The best party thrower in the entire world. Yeah. Tanner is he's the guy's fucking something else. Crazy. He's great. Just just hold. He just, yes, the welcome to my kingdom. This is kind of whatever he is. It's kind of just, here we go. He's like a Disney. He's like, for you. He's like a Disney princess, but it's liquor shit

that always comes around him. Yeah. Instead of animals and sunshine, it's major strippers and, you know, gun ranges and stuff like that. So, and I remember Edgar after the show, I think I signed, he had a copy of Menor better than women that I, it looks like he's had for a while. It wasn't like a brand new book.

And I noticed that I think I was one of the last ones to sign it or something. He had like every buddy, you know, there was all kinds of, every signature for anybody who was there like associated with the show that he, you know, didn't have. He had, so he brings it over and he's carrying it around in like a little CVS bag or something. Like, he's got it. He's got it in a plastic bag. And we're there.

We're there because there's going to be spills and all kinds of things. And we're there. We're there two minutes. And you walk in, you walk in, there's a hallway. And then there's like a little kind of a low window to your right. And you just kind of puts it on the window sill.

So it's out of the way. Extra safe. Well, he'll see it on the way out so he doesn't forget it. He's one of like put on the kitchen counter where there's a bunch of drinks and everything. I go in just to see what's going on. I immediately turn around and go to the go to the bathroom for which there's already a line. Of course, and I'm like, God damn it. I should just piss to the other place. And this was no more than two minutes had we been there and I walk up and somebody's there we're looking at this huge like Like watery thing. I thought somebody spilled like a gallon of water and it turns out it was puke You know like somebody a drink a bunch of stuff

I see him right by the bathroom and he's sitting there and he's holding his book in two fingers and it's covered in this Watery liquid And I'm going and he he has this look on his face like somebody just, like he just put his dog down. It was just like this, like, but like, like, why did that happen? Somebody had come in, was gonna boot, fucking grab his bag and barf,

right in the bag and into his book. And ended up getting it all over the floor anyway. But it was like the guy saw that and like, he didn't even look that fucked up. He didn't even look that fucked up. Like he wasn't like stumbling around it. Oh, here's a bag. He was just like, go right.

That's what they're made for. He was just like, yeah, he was like a apologizing and like Edgar was just like, like dude, like, like, I was like, why did you do, like, why? You motherfucker. Why, and he was just there, and he's like, I just gotta throw it away.

I mean, like there's, I was like, no, I think you can rinse it off. I don't think it got all in there too much. Like it wasn't like all chunkier anything, but he's like, all right, all right, I'll keep it. No, I, but I was like, I was like, I was like, I'll get everyone to sign a new non-puked non-puked timebook. Very good. Very good.

Just a look on his face was like, as someone who's lost many things, because other people invent, because other people need to stop their own puke. So they find your stuff and throw up in it, whether it's a car or some shoes that you left on. I came home one night in my roommate after college, had eaten a bunch of my creatine, which was strawberry flavored, so it was red. He had gone

to the apartment complex gym to work out for the first time. Came up, who's drunk? He was drunk already. Drunk decided to work out, pound some crazy, and oh, dick strong, I'll use some of this creatine. Yeah. Goes downstairs, works out for 10 minutes, comes back up, has to throw up. Right. The sink is right there on his left, but his mental drunk state, he thought that would plug the sink. So he goes from my shoes, which are in the immediate middle of the room, thinking that, thinking that things can hold an infinite amount of puke when you're in that state, as a guy who has lost many things to rogue puke incidents. The look on his face was like, to rogue puke incidents. The look on his face was like,

but I did everything right. And the, you know, like I did everything right. Like he just couldn't process how that could have happened. Like what were the odds, you know? What else could have done? I thought, I did everything right. Yeah. My other favorite memory was that kid fuck face.

Was it Matt fuck face? Yeah. Came up, he comes to me after the show saying, wow, everybody's having a great time though. You know, I have a great time even though I can't drink. What are you talking about? You can't drink. Take a 18.

Yeah. Like, are you kidding me, man? There's no, first of all, these bartenders are not ideing anybody. They're all the one. They look like they give a fuck. Nobody gives a fuck here. Secondly, every single person in this venue

will buy you a drink. Nobody, I will buy you a drink. But I'm stuck here talking, and there was like five guys right away. Oh yeah, I'll get you a drink. What do you want? What do you want? What do you want?

He doesn't know. Yeah, go get him a drink. You're gonna get so many drinks, you're gonna die. I mean, that's like, that was the kid who talked to the showgirls. Yeah, go get him a drink. You're gonna get so many drinks. You're gonna die. I mean, that was the kid who talked to the showgirls. Yeah. The showgirl with the pit bull. That was a fun contest too that I really enjoyed. Yeah. See if you can make a girl smile. Yes. Yeah, yeah, that was good. There's a lot of good stuff in that show. Tyrone was that the winner of that's name he came up to me afterwards and tell you who's like, yeah, that actually, the winner of that's name. He came up to me afterwards and he was like,

yeah, that actually meant a lot to me. Like having to suffer through that feeling of panic and terror, the worst, like the most anxiety you could feel. Not being on stage naked, not being on stage with nothing to say, being on stage with two hot women and a bunch of people on laugh for a minute. Yes, that will change. If you can do that, you can do anything.

Right, it didn't kill him. Right, you know, it's not gonna kill you. Yeah, what's there? What's the worst that can happen exactly? Sometimes, sometimes getting thrown in the deep end is the best thing for you. Yeah, that was a lot of fun. Yeah, he was cool.

We shot the shit for a bit after the show. Yeah, it was good. It was good stuff. Let's see what else I got here. If I've thanked everybody enough, the gun range was great, but I talk about that on the show. We'll post that soon. Let's see here.

I'll tell you what makes me rage. Stabbing yourself in the gums while you're brushing your teeth. Yep. Is it, are you familiar? I am that, Sean. Very familiar with that. I do, I'm good for about one of those every week until it gets better. And then I'm right in there with a jackhammer, thinking that I'm mining for gold, angrily pounding into my teeth like I'm drilling for oil, because I'm upset that I'm alive again, I guess. You know, we'll go with that.

Yeah. And it never goes away. You know, yeah, because you just keep right when it's almost, almost good again, you should. Spending the entire week thinking that I have some kind of a midlife cold sore outbreak just because I can't control my, I can't control my excitement. I can't fucking wait to clean these teeth. Well, isn't it funny?

How when something like that happens, you realize how much effort you're actually putting into it. You know, when you bite your tongue, you're just chewing your food. You're like, well, I'm not biting down hard. Dude, you are biting the shit out of stuff. You don't even realize just how much pressure there's. It's like fucking, it's bleeding.

Like how could I possibly have been chewing that hard? Same thing with that, because you got good dexterity. You got good muscle memory. You've done this a lot. And all of a sudden, you just something that goes a little fucky and it's like, you almost put it through the fucking your entire upper jaw. You're like fuck.

Yeah, it's like, fuck. Yeah. Um, it's driving me insane. And drove me the insane the entire week where we were there. It still goes. Here's what else, here's what else makes me a rage. By the way, I, I, I also stopped a war with the ran this week. You did? Yes.

Okay. I was, I was planning an unoffensive and I also decided not to. Okay. Because too planning an offensive and I also decided not to. Okay. Because too many people would die. So while we're celebrating Trump as a humanitarian, I would like to throw my name out there. Maybe yourself as well.

If you were thinking you were gonna attack Rand and then decided not to, something you could congratulate yourself for. Well, I mean, I saved like three people in a crosswalk. Oh, did you? Earlier, well, yeah, I mean, I was gonna run them down and then I decided not to. At the last minute.

At the last minute, I thought, you know what, go ahead. Today's your day. That's good. That's not as big as my Iran move, but that's pretty good. But it's a similar thought, isn't it? Similar mindset. Yeah, it is you were going to do something unspeakable and horrifying and then you decided not to do it.

Yeah, that's good, good for you. Thanks. Good for you. Probably not as deserving of the Nobel Peace Prize as mine. But... Well, that's, you know, that's arguable. Yes, thank you. You know, these could have been really, really good human beings. And all of yours could have been terrible people.

Well, you know they are because it's a ran. beings. And all of yours could have been terrible people. Well, well, you know they are because it's a ran. Shhh. But I'm just kidding. Everyone who listens in a ran. Yeah. Don't worry about it. Let's see what I say.

I got to makes me a rage here. People talking to you when you're going to the bathroom. Yes. What's that happened to you, Sean? It has happened to me. And I know, I know that it it's childish because the children do it and they just continue talking the entire time that I'm in there taking a piss.

Yeah. Until I have to tell them, I can't hear you because of the sound of my own piss. It is something that people seemingly have not grown out of in all this time because the longer it goes, I find myself having to repeatedly tell people, hold on, if you can't tell, you're talking about women.

Sure. Yeah, because they don't understand how loud we are. Taking a piss. It happens to me more than with just, as much as I like to throw women under the bus, pretty much everything. It happens to me with more than just women. I'm walking, how many times have you seen me walking out

of the room where it was not to go to the bathroom and how many conversations have I had with you that have taken place in the bathroom? A lot and zero. Stop fucking, as soon as you stop seeing me, you don't know if I can hear you anymore. That's right. Why are you talking?

Why are you talking? Just stop. As soon as I get up, hear you anymore. That's right. Why are you talking? Why are you talking? Just stop. As soon as I get up, stop right there. That's already, that's a yellow light. You better finish up real quick. Don't, I don't want to give me it to be continued. I know that everyone is afraid of to be continued. Perfectly fine.

But God forbid you'll forget what you were saying. Well, yes. And save us both the monotony of listening to this tedious, the end of this terrible story, this end of a terrible story written by the committee of your life. God forbid that will happen. Stop for a second and let me piss in peace.

Let me think about the piss that I'm about to take as opposed to trying to hear a little bit of what's going on. So I can. And last year telling me a story about some kind of al-apena-spiting alligator that lives in your toilet, just stop for a minute. Yeah. In which case you should raise your voice. Yes.

In which case, throw your body in emergency. Give me a Kevin Costner dive in front of it. Kevin Costner dive, wait. The bodyguard. Oh, did he dive in front of the bullet? I don't know the bullet? I don't know. Probably. It's driving me insane. And next time it happens from now on, because they know I'm going to the bathroom. It's just a chicken, a game of chicken, to see how much of the conversation they can get out before it's

impossible to hear anymore, which means you have to work more to hear, which I don't know why that. You have to concentrate on hearing and shutting the door quietly and interrupt. Hey, just stop. That's the chicken game. So interrupting. Stop. Hey, cool it.

I've got to go take a piss. I know what you're trying to do. I know that you're trying to steal my time and concentration of the piss that I'm about to take, but I'm telling you to knock it off. I'm just going to start pissing right in front of them. Yeah. That's, if you're arresting me, that's winning chicken.

If you're, yeah, that's how you play chicken. Right. I'm gonna have the balls to sit there and, okay, I'm just gonna start taking my pants off right here, now with the children, obviously. I'm gonna start taking my pants off. And if you can't tell what I'm gonna have the balls to sit there and okay, I'm just gonna start taking my pants off right here, now with the children, obviously. I'm gonna start taking my pants off, and if you can't tell what I'm, now it's on you. Now the chicken is on you to stop me from pissing

in your living room or wherever we happen to be. I don't know, it's really driving me crazy lately. I'll tell you what else makes me rage. Oh, gambling. That gambling is illegal. Outside of Vegas, it's the den of rapery. The den of the rapery that exists in Vegas is only because gambling, math itself, the idea of odds is so, so pernicious and dangerous to us humans who are as stupid as every other animal on the face of the planet because this is true,

cannot handle odds, cannot handle gambling. The only reason that city exists in the middle of hell is because we've driven math into hiding across the rest of the country. Well, everybody's the eternal optimist. They have luck on their side or they have a system. Or, you know what I mean? Is that where you're going? Like basically we're stopping people

from fucking their entire lives up, like everyone from fucking their entire lives up. Which I don't see how they deserve the money then. Why is this will fix a lot? What if every time you walked out of work, there was somebody there going, hey, how would you like to bet today on double today? Yep, I do.

Here you go. What does that guy do? I meant when I said in the show, all taxes should be handled like Vegas. I would be the happiest I have ever been paying taxes if I could walk down to the courthouse slash casino and put a $10,000 check on red. Give me a thrill. Yeah, even if the wheel is just all black.

I'll come in every time. Oh, you're saying you're telling me there's a 10,000 to one chance of me winning a little money. Let's go. Yeah, here you go. I go feed some homeless people with it. I go start a war in the Middle East with it. I don you go. I go feed some homeless people with it. I go start a war in the Middle East with it.

I don't care. I was gonna pay my way. I had a good fucking time. Give me a little sum for the effort. I got dressed up. I showed off. But anything other than the system we got now, which is just take it or else, how about take one city?

One city in the entire country has figured out how to get people to willingly part with a staggering amount of money that they put to use, that they put to the use of absolutely nothing. Yeah. Nothing. Where does the money go? Well, to build more rape machines. Yeah, sure.

So why? Because this is the only place we can do this. Spread it out. Take it across the country. Take a mobile this is the only place we can do this. Mm-hmm. Spread it out. Take it across the country. Take a mobile show. Across the country. Come door to door. Hey, I'm the tax collector.

Oh yeah. You got three seconds to get off my property. I'm going to put a hole in your head. No, no, no, we'll just wait a minute. How'd you like to play three-card money for $50,000? I'm in. I'm in. I'm in. Let's go. Throw it out000. I'm in. I'm in. Let's go.

Throw it out there. I'm in. I did a little looking into gambling problems. I found some kind of funny quotes. Okay. Let me pull this one on. So the reason I found that people are pissed about it is that virtual slot machines

They can program the slot machine to show constant near misses Right, so it's even yeah an old slot machine mechanical slot machine doesn't do that No, they can't it goes around you can kind of get the sense that of what the odds are in your mind So now it just manipulates your emotions to... Right. So this guy, I don't know if he won the lawsuit or he was filing the lawsuit, I'm trying to find my notes here. Of course, it's not any of the gambler's faults as they set the framework of the conversation. When you're dealing with an addict, active in their addiction, they've lost, they've lost all judgment.

They can't control their behavior, Sean. You can't control it. And here's the thing that not to get off on too much of a tangent, but this was always my problem with the philosophy of something like AA. Like they use the word powerless to control it. my problem with the philosophy of something like AA, like they use the word powerless to control it. And I just, I can't, that doesn't sit with me.

It doesn't sit with me. You have, even the worst, you've got some, you've got, there's, I'm compact, I can't, don't control over it. There's nobody force feeding you booze. You know what I mean? There's nobody making you sit, so it's, unfortunately.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, I'm trying to find the quote where, oh yeah, okay, here it is. It's this guy, this guy is using an early anti-tobacco litigation strategy, which orders over the course of several decades and countless lawsuits, ultimately succeeded in getting courts to uphold the industry, liable for the damage it brought on public health. Guy and off-singer is using it to the same with the gambling industry.

I can't find it here, but it's the, oh yeah, here it is. It is deceptive near misses which allows for subliminal inducements. That was the word, subliminal inducements, which makes me wonder why is, why is, why are women legal then? Why is dating legal at all? Which is a continued con of Subliminal induce inducements. Why is lipstick legal that Subliminally induces me into thinking I'm about to get late. Right. Why is any of it legal? Why are those stupid chicken cutlets that women wear

in their bras legal? If they said- So funny. They do look like chicken cutlets, like pounded, pounded chicken. And then it's extra gross when they come out because you're thinking of raw chicken. Like, now, do I have salmonella? If I touch this bitch, what's going on here? Casino patrons bet more than $37 billion annually, more than Americans spend to attend sporting events, go to the movies and buy music combined. So you're telling me that it's so fun for people to gamble. If everybody across the country did this, it would take over for this other shit that I hate.

Yeah. Do you know what I would much rather see than another musical celebrity or Marvel movie or some, or a bunch of assholes rubbing their nipples together about the Broncos, the Raiders, or some shit. Instead of the scourge of idiotic entertainment that sweeps over the country. All we need is one slot machine outside of every bank and they would not have this money anymore to spend on on this kind of shit. It's all I'm saying, Sean. Makes me angry every time I go there and makes everything. It is the dirty underbelly of the truth about odds. Yeah.

That undermines every single other thing that we do. Every single other thing, like you guys can't, you can't resist, you can't resist temptation. So much that we had to make it illegal. Yeah. Student loan debts coming out again. Hmm. Did you see anything about that?

No, I haven't anything new on it. I haven't followed the news cycle. It's not pop up. Couple things. First of all, there's no, the crisis, student loan crisis. Yeah, let me straighten that out. Well, they like these words because it implies immediacy. It implies that it it's students that are in trouble.

This crisis has nothing to do with students. It has only to do with banks. That's it. They don't give up every single time. They failed out anyway, probably, right? Well, that's what the crisis is. Yeah, hold on. It's not bailing people out.

No. It's not going to help the graduates. Of course not. It's weaponizing a generation of kids who would have said they would give up their first amendment right to have their student loans forgiven. Yeah. To vote for morons who will come in. What a racket. and bail out the banks again. That's the crisis. It's not a crisis if you owed $23,000 to a bank. It's a crisis if the bank is owed to trillion dollars that they're never gonna get. It doesn't matter at all to you and me.

It doesn't matter at all to the kid down the street who doesn't pay. He just doesn't pay. They can't track him down. Mm-hmm. They can't throw him in jail. Mm-hmm. That's illegal.

It's all a bank crisis. It's another bank crisis. Sure. Sure. And the entire thing, the entire thing for everybody involved, first of all, the idea that we're bailing out and what's going to happen. There's no way to stop it. Yeah. Because will vote for it Mm-hmm. So it's inevitable some kind of a

bailout. I'm not gonna use the word forgiveness because I refuse to call Stealing from future generations the wealth of their labor and giving it to banks forgiveness. No, it's the opposite of forgiveness Yeah, it's the most morally repugnant thing you could do is make a plan to take labor from children in the future and give it to banks, which is why they hit the word forgiveness so hard every time. So that we remember that term when we wise up. Forgiveness. What do you mean? Forgiveness. Oh, you know, like stealing from kids in the future, like sending a reverse terminator robot into the future

taking their money and giving it to banks future kids right now. Oh, yeah. The idea we've never had any problem with leveraging the future. No, never had a problem with that. The idea of even if we were taking current student loans and paying them off for everybody, which is 100, 1.6 trillion, we're paying it off. Everybody's gonna get freebie, right? The idea that we do that instead of literally every other type of debt that exists is the most

obscenely entitled idea or public works, whatever is the most insanely entitled idea, I think you could possibly come up with kids who have enough resources to go to college in the first place are getting their debt forgiven before the multitude of predatory loan, a personal loan scammers that are out there. People who actually have jobs before these shitloads of people who can't even fucking eat, or like the idea that they get first crack at that money is so obscenely flopped upside down. I can't believe half of people are taking it serious. Yeah.

I gotta give you some stats here. Credit card fees, $100 billion a year. Credit card fees. Yeah. No bailout there. Yeah, no, no, no. Outstanding personal loan debt. This is the payday loans, which are, let me see here.

33% or something like that. Oh, I was gonna say, I thought they were around like 40% or something, yeah, pay it right. They're structured to be, they're structured to be confusing even to me. Yeah. Sold to people who will be living on the streets if they don't get $300 immediately. You got them, you got them right over a barrel. At 33% that is $138 billion. They don't deserve the money before the parents of kids who sunk them into a degree that they only want so they can dick measure with their other boomer, yuppie friends so they could post their acceptance letters to Facebook.

Fuck these people who actually, who I think probably need the money a little more. Then the ones who paid for a four-year vacation, it's subsying. 60% of personal loan borrowers take out a personal loan to consolidate that or refinance credit cards. Consecured personal loans have a higher delinquency rate than common other loan type. Gen X takes out the biggest loan.

Yeah. Blomedy, blah, blah, blah. Let me see here. Oh, yeah. Here was the one that made me bring up the crisis part. The banks, the delinquencies, the delinquencies in student loans are now about 10%. Right? Yeah.

The delinquencies in personal loans are 3%. So when mortgages, when mortgages were starting to default in 2008, they're usually about 5%, but they climbed up to, I don't know, actually a little bit less. They climbed up to 20%, 25%. Remember very well. You remember that crisis? What does that tell you about the fucking crisis?

It's not the amount of money. It's not who it owes. It's that the number of money. It's not who it owes. It's that the number is finally big enough, the number of delinquencies that are paid back to the bank is finally high enough that something that there is a crisis. Something must be done. It is only a crisis for them about the banks. Absolutely. And it's obscene to me if people don't understand how these types of bailouts work.

It's printing bonds. Oh my God, there's no, there's no, not supposed to be any risk with lending money. It's printing bonds. That's supposed to be risk with insurance that are paid off in 10 years, 20 years, 30 years to give cash to the banks right now. So they got to be paid off 30 years from now. When America is broker-than-dog shit, when social security itself is Insolvent by 2035, which will hit us like a fucking train by 2035, which will hit us like a fucking train

with all of these stupid, all these stupid forgiveness programs that are printing money and sending, putting a bill in a time capsule to pay off in 20 years, 30 years, we'll hit at the exact same time when the government says, oh yeah, social security, we're out. And that's not, that is by their own admission.

Nobody really knows what the fuck they're doing. Or they do. And it depends on whether it's, everybody's an eternal optimist and everybody's about short money. Yeah. And that includes our leaders more than anybody. And I see people buying into the forgiveness,

even using the word makes me feel stupid. Well, that's a crafted, that's a very studied, it's like, you know, let R&D win into that term to use it in that application. Just see it repeated over and over. Yeah. So, a horrible, mandatious lie. I'm tired of seeing it.

Yeah. Every time you see it, every time you see it, every time you see crisis, just, oh, okay, well, that means banks aren't getting paid back. Every time you guys bail them out, you just print a bunch of money, you just print a bunch of money and validate the overvalued item that the money was burned on. You're not fixing anything.

Everybody paid too much money for this shit that wasn't worth anything. You can't add if you add more money into it, all you're doing is making another one of these things. You can't throw money at a problem that throwing money at created idiots. It's just making the bills, just making the time capsule bigger.

Yeah. Loot boxes are making me a rage today too. Haven't you brought in loot boxes before? I don't know how to do. Loot crates is problem. Yeah. They're dumb. Yeah.

It's not going to be illegal. I'm trying to make them illegal. Oh, and I heard a, because it's gambling. It's gambling. It's gambling. It's gambling. You don't know what you're gonna get. Because you know what you're gonna get.

Well, then, you know, Forest Gump was ahead of his time. I mean, YGRC's candy gonna be illegal? Yes. Or, no, do they show you, do they actually show you on the box? It's a fucking pack of cards. Yeah. Remember baseball cards? Yeah.

That would, no. You don't know. You don't know if you're getting Mark McGuire, or as they can say, go in the same path. You're like, fuck, I already got two others of these. Like, you gotta keep buying. Yeah. But, and nobody is immune.

You do know you'll get stale as fuck gum. You know you'll get terrible gum. Yeah. That you have to spit out immediately. Like crunch is, it breaks apart. It's like glass. He's dumb motherfuckers though. It's like glass. He's done motherfucker's though. Nobody's immune to it. Nobody's immune to the need to regulate everything and make

sure to legal. Yeah. And finally gamers finally rose up and what they're mark their biggest mark on the world is is making loot boxes illegal. Hmm. Good job idiots. All right. I'm going to play a song. I guess I'm comments to read. I got countries likely gonna play a song. I'm gonna get some comments to read. I got countries likely to return a wallet. You wanna see that one? Yeah. I don't, the future is broke.

That's my problem with it. It's just so fucking broke. And everything in me wants to believe that the current economic system we have in place, the entire debt-based economic system that is in place, the entire debt-based economic system that is in it that is designed to fail. You cannot let people write IOUs forever and expect them not to immediately fuck up. Everything we know is as they're going to do that. Yeah. I wanted to fail. Everything's all, I'll be in a different place then. You know

what I mean? Like this was exactly- We'll keep growing forever. You know, we're? Like this was exactly. We'll keep growing forever. You know, we're gonna call, we're gonna colonize Mars. We already talked about it, which means we basically already did it. Yeah, we're gonna find a bunch of diamonds and shit in space and gold. We're gonna grow forever. But it never works like that.

You can look at it mathematically. It doesn't even fucking work. No, you can't do this shit forever. No. The future is going to be so dead broke. I want it to collapse, but I know that it won't. Yeah. You know that it won't, because they'll just keep pushing it off at the same type of bullshit. There's always a little bit more they can take payroll tax. They'll bump up. Oh, so she's not working. Well, we told boomers that they were going to get this money. We got to get it somewhere.

You guys, you don't payroll tax. We still got people don't understand what that is, right? So we'll go right there. We'll go right there. Yeah. Find me the top 10 ways. People don't understand how shit works. And that's where we'll go first.

That's where we're going to get it out of. And then you go, well, you know, back in the, he pays that back in the time of Roosevelt, the top tax bracket was 90%. Yeah, and you're not even paying this. Right. And please explain to me why 67-year-old boomers who've had their knees replaced six times and are basically mobile need for us to fund remodels to their second house with social security. And that fucking one of them is so debilitated

that they can't work. They're just ready to enjoy their dual bathtub and see Alice sunsets, because they've put in such a hard life of living like they're in a fucking cartoon. That's what social security is. Time for my weekly paycheck for just being the best me I can be for all these years and being too absorbed in television and other idiocy to pay attention to retirement.

Fuck it. But they could just print more money. Get back to work. Kid, stop being so entitled. But we gave you a degree. we told you to get it. So there's nothing stopping you but you need to pull yourself up by your shit straps. Not our fault, you got a worthless degree. You should have picked another worthless degree, but they did give us some great slogans over the years, right? I mean, that is their big contribution to the world, isn't it? Marketing.

Marketing slogans. They invented it. Yeah. Boomers gave us marketing. Oh yeah, the wallet thing. Which drives me insane. An education system that taught everybody how to use Nazi allegories to prove a point.

It left everybody with a crippling case with instead of the ability to construct sentences and ideas, and more importantly, understand them, a crippling case of a crippling case of spurging autism, where all thought is reduced to the vomiting of the vomiting of a vocabulary that's so raped and beaten, it defies understanding in and of itself. Thanks for that. Yeah. Yeah. Here we go. This is national differences in the likelihood of returning a lost wallet to its owner. Notice that in more countries, people were more likely to return the wallet when it had money in it. Let me pull that up for everybody. I mean, was that the point of social security

for boomers to remodel the kitchen of their second house? I can't, that was that how it was pitched to everybody. Hey, everybody, we've got an aging population. They've all got second houses. They could afford to remodel them, but they would have to save up for a little bit. They might die before they save up enough money to remodel the kitchen in their second

house. So what we need to do is all able bodied men and women need to give them money or else that second house, the kitchen is just not going to be good for Airbnb. No one can take good pictures with that. I don't know if like the Roosevelt administration kind of foresaw that, but I, you know, I don't know. I want to see every single one that cash is security check, show me that you need it, because I don't fucking believe you.

Yeah. I think you're fine. Some do most, a lot probably don't. Probably don't need it. Yeah. I bet there's a lot that are that are hitting 65 or what is 63 and just counting down in the days so they can cash in. You can take an early view as their savings, which is my biggest problem with it. They think they put it in to save

it up to get out later. Like all the idiots who are happy to overpay in their taxes, thinking that they don't have to plan for it for the rest of the year. Oh, it's great. Why would I want to keep it when I could just give it now and then I don't have to worry about it? Here we go. What country do you think's on the top? I got a better one.

What place do you think America is on the list of who will return your wallet? I don't know. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say pretty high. Yeah, pretty high. I think so. Right in the middle. Are we right in the middle? 50% right in the middle.

UK is right under us. Greece is right under us. Italy above us is Portugal. Israel, but not by much. Argentina, Canada, Romania, Russia, Spain, blah, blah, blah, blah. Who's number one? Switzerland is at the very time. Switzerland, Norway. Okay.

Netherlands. Yeah, Switzerland and Norway. I mean, they probably, money probably doesn't mean quite as much to that. There's a lot of social pro, they seem to be pretty well taken care of in a lot of ways. A lot of those countries also rate for most happy, you know, highest level of happiness. Yeah. I don't know. Would you return a wallet if you found it with the money?

Yeah. I will. Yeah. What if it was like $10,000? I would think about it. But no, but would you take a little taste for yourself? Uh, you know, I, you know what? Well, I'd like to say no.

I'd like to say no, but I'd have to. What if I trick you and pretend to lose a wallet somewhere to see if you tell me about it. No, I know. I know. I know. Put it on camera. lose a wallet somewhere to see if you tell me about it. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, his keys out of his pocket and like it literally just fell down and, you know, I picked it up and I didn't hesitate. Actually, I just, nobody would have seen it. And I just, hey man, he's like, wow, man,

there are honest people. I agree with that. I found a pair of sunglasses at a restaurant I turned in. I regret that a lot. It's like, these are really cool. So there were nice Ray Bans. I had just lost mine. I know the idiots there just took them,

like I'm gonna fuck this more on. Just take these for myself. Let's see. Who's at the bottom? China. Not a surprise. UAE is way down there too. Yeah.

And fuck them. Mexico, pretty far down there. Yeah. Well. Morocco, Peru, Kazakhstan. Okay, if you're. Well, Morocco, Peru, Kazakhstan. Okay, a lot of, you know, China is down at a 6%. Wow. Very low. So it's like a really low.

So it's just an entire country with the mentality of finest keepers. Yeah. Like it's just, you just assume it's like, oh, no, that's fucking gone. You drop that. Oh, that don't even ask the fucking guy at the, the Matorers. Yeah. Like it's just, you just assume it's like, oh no, that's, that's fucking gone. You drop that, oh that don't even, don't even ask the fucking guy at the,

the Mator D. No. Yeah, you dropped it. Well, yeah, you know. It's like, it's like, you know, the dudes of Creedence tapes. Yeah. Those are gone, man.

Here's another. Cops don't give a fuck. Here's some local news. Mm. The police in Southern California have released a police robot. Oh, good. The HP Robocop is described as an autonomous data machine and is expected to be officially unveiled by the Huntington Park Police Department.

This was last week equipped with 360 degree video cameras. Huntington Park police will deploy HP Robocop to monitor and surveil areas such as parks and city buildings. The robot, this is a robot. Yeah. That's great. The police robot. Yeah, you're normally somebody would have to catch you doing something. Yeah. Now it's just, or you could just stick a camera on a pole. Yeah. Look at this little... Yeah, yeah.

Who's paying for this, right? Look at this little R2D2 looking fuck. Yeah, they really, again, a lot of market research went into that. Oh, look, it's so not threatening. It's like half R2D2 and half Wally. How can you really want its head? I know I'm running in. I feel like Red Forman from Robocop.

Like, it is, I understand why he was so homicidally enraged by Robocop, I want it dismantled, I want it destroyed. This cop robot is in abomination and the first one's got to be killed, or they're rolling them out into production. Yes. This is the very last thing that I want to see on the face of the planet. Yeah. A friendly looking, autonomous surveillance robot.

It's taking away your civil rights. That is built for the only purpose of taking, yes, that's it. That's what it's for. That's what it's for. That's what it's for. The robot will then be able to relay footage from its cameras to police headquarters in order to facilitate fast and safe responses from police officers. Well, don't, don't sleep on the fact that they're also building robots for fast and safe responses. It is Huntington Park, you pussies. Nothing is going wrong and nothing that is, nothing that is, that shouldn't be illegal

is going wrong in Huntington Park. If you're going to test run a police robot, put it in Detroit. Yeah. Let's see that little fucker walk around then, huh? Don't beta test it in Huntington Park. Pat yourselves on the back for the two kids that you caught doing graffiti. And rule is mom is on Xanax 24 hours a day.

Well, they want to show how good it works. Yeah, they want to show how good it works. Put it in, you know what? We're talking about getting thrown in the deep end. Yeah, you know what? Go to Detroit, have fun with that. Put thrown in the deep end? Yeah. You know what? Go to Detroit. Have fun with that. Put it in Somalia.

That thing. You see how this fruity, the LR2D2 hands up, stands up to Detroit. Robo rape inside of an hour. That was $30 million wasted. Yeah. HP Robocop will also be able to roll down sidewalks and ref site phrases.

Awesome. To members of the public, such as, excuse me. Oh, how cute. How good you are. Handing out tickets for not picking up dog shit. What do you think the crime is for killing a police robot? Is that a felony? Probably not on the books yet.

Probably not on the books yet, right? Everybody take a drive to Huntington Park. What if I have a robot that kills the police robot? Who is guilty? Battle bots out in the world. Where are those guys? When we need them? I know.

I hate this. So much that hijack a police, the robot that can go in and actually blow people up as opposed to like defusing. You know, they did that. Yeah. Yeah. Send me, you know, somebody hijack one of those

and send it after this little fucker. Oh, it even has its own Twitter account. Oh, they did that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Send me, you know, somebody hijacked one of those and send it after this little fucker. Oh, it even has its own Twitter account. Oh, that's great. Oh. Good for you. Good for you, HP. There's a, yeah. Just more distraction from actual problems. I guess is that what's worth so fucking dumb.

We are so goddamn dumb as a species. I know. Fucking we are absolutely dog shit stupid. How many followers does that fucking thing have already? I don't know, but they're all real. I know. Every single one of them saw the robot and wanted to know more about the robots going on. Oh. They're, because they're so crippled by the fear of crime taking place, that they need

to be a prize of the robot, the R2D2 going around it all the time. That reminds me of another thing I wanted to bring last week, but I missed it. That is such a waste of money and such a waste of good minds on a project like that. Yeah, Palmer, Lucky Palmer, the guy who developed the Oculus Rift, the first one, the Oculus, was talking about how much wasted potential, wasted intelligences in Silicon Valley, designing apps for complete, for absolutely stupid reasons that are meant only to be sold to venture capital is to compete with other apps that encourage you to be the most lazy person in the world. Like all the competing postmates and dogs should apps that come as that don't

help anything. Not trying to help any problem. There are only, and someone could say they're actively harming society. And you'd say it's, these are arguments as well, it's capitalism, right? But how much of that is left? With nobody actually thinks we're a true capitalist society. Do we?

I mean, Sean, people think that, do they think that like true competition exists or that like, I mean, like people want to fall away from free market? Yes. They think that everything that ails society is a result of capitalism, which we currently have and greed, not constrained at all with wildly out of control, banking regulations and subsidies and all these. Yes, they absolutely do. Let me see if I can find this thing I was looking for. This is a comparison of what the news reports on for causes of death versus their actual causes. You'll see on the left, this is the actual cause of death.

Okay. What do you think that gigantic blue bar at the top? We got a giant blue bar at the top, takes up about 30% another giant yellow bar under it. It takes about another 30%. That sets us at about 60% of deaths. Then we get into gray, orange, green, green, blue, purple, bunch of tiny ones.

We think that giant blue one is at the top. Too many birthdays. Yeah, it's hard disease. Yeah, it's basically the same thing. Giant yellow one under it. Cancer? Cancer, obviously. Cancer, then we get traffic accidents,

eight percent, going all the way down. Very bottom, little baby bar. Can't even see it. Let me get a read on a terrorism, less than .001%. We should probably expect, right? Go over here to Google searches, very next one.

This is what people are searching on. Oh yeah, this is a death. This is always good. What terrorism's gotta be. Very top. Why higher than what it really is? What is the top one? You see blue again.

Yeah, heart disease. What is that about? 3%. Yeah, very right. Nobody wants to read that they need to exercise and eat healthy and right. And see your doctor and yeah, we experienced that on the show.

You don't need a doctor until he's stopped eating stuff that tastes good. You know when you're doing it, stop doing it, stop drinking soda. You know you shouldn't weigh that. You know you just know that can't be good. Yeah, next one, about the same size, 30% cancer. A high disease, only three people,

three percent of people, cancer is still just as big. Yeah, 30 percent. Going all the way down about the same, terrorism is up at seven, seven and a half percent. Which, you know, doesn't surprise me. Doesn't surprise me. Search for news on and stuff like that. Now we've got the final column here, which they're basically the same. They're two different newspapers.

This is media coverage, causes of death. Okay. Yeah. This is hard disease. Posses of death. Okay. Yeah. This is hard disease. Very, very, very, very tiny. Two percent. It's not sexy. Cancer. It's boring.

You know, 18% boring. Suicide. Unless it's a celebrity with cancer. Yeah. Nobody writes stories about celebrities with heart disease. They write stories about celebrities with cancer. Yeah. Su cancer. Yeah.

Suicide. Yep. 13%. And what is that, the actual statistics? It's 12%. Oh, 12%. It's about, it's about same. Oh no, I'm sorry, that's Google searches. The actual ones about much lower, right?

Yeah, let me see. 2%. Okay. 2%. And they write 13%. They write about 10%. Okay. And they write 13% something like that. Okay. 10%. Okay.

Homicide. 23%. Oh, yeah, which is like nowhere near what it is. Not happening in the majority of US. It's not 23%. I think in like Columbia, is it? I mean, no. Now we have the Whomper, giant red square at the bottom.

And we want to guess that is, oh, look at that. Oh, yeah, right. 35%. Right. I just, I want to know, at what point is the culpable for, for, for the tarantizing? Oh, yes. Like, yes, exactly. At what point? For Islamophobia for all thisot. Yes. Yes. Exactly. At what point?

For Islamophobia for all this kind of shit. Well, if it's so bad, terrorism. Yeah. We've made, we've made the appeals process in this country impossible to fight terrorism. All the wars, the bullshit is for terrorism, right? Yeah. And what point is that the paper doing it? That's what I mean. That's exactly what I mean. How long are you gonna think about gunchag eyes knocking over some buildings without being constantly reminded of it by people who were promoting it to sell ads? Yeah, and well, yeah, well, again, it's, you always go to the fear.

You always go to the fear and the worry. And really, your odds of being killed by a terrorist, not a single, yeah, statistically insignificant, but it sucks if it's one, if it's one and a million, it sucks if you're the one. Yeah. But it does, that's fucking ridiculous. 35%. I don't know how to internalize that graph in any other way than, well, you guys are doing

the terrorism. No, I know. I know. It's the threat of terrorism. The threat of terrorism is the terrorism. You can't have the concept of terrorism exist without blaming the people who are constantly talking about it, right? Otherwise, it's just crimes.

That happened. All those crimes happened. Well, this is the reason they happened. I don't care. Does my know they happened to instill a sense of fear in you. Oh, okay. Well, those guys talking about her, instilling a sense of fear in me too.

That's different. I wasn't worried about it before. Oh, there it is. Yeah. Wow. More important than heart disease and cancer. I love these. These are some of my favorite things that you bring in.

These stats. Perception, reality. Yeah. You do this from time to time and they're always interesting. Well, because the first thing I thought as well, terrorism obviously works. If you want to get your message out there, you know, if you got a, if you're having a, if norm reaves is having a big Honda sale this weekend, the easiest way to get the word out is just to do a little bit of terrorism.

Yeah. Right? That's what's apparently, that's what they're talking about. What do you think happens every election cycle? A lot of terrorism. Yeah, a lot of terrorism. You got, you got two terrorists up there. So what you got? Yeah, there you go. All right, I'm going to read some comments now. Actually, I'll play song first. This is a song called The Mysterious Woman by Safe State. Oh my God.

It's a song version of Christ the Kiwi's Romantic poem. I love it already. That he wrote because he was in a bit of a... He was in sexual mood. Right. If you recall. Right. He was in a sexual mood.

Felt the need to express himself sexually. Yes. On tape. Sometimes pornography won't do. My God, this picture's... I can't hear the sound of the sound. I can't hear the sound of the sound. I can't hear the sound of the sound.

Just get her excited. I can't hear the sound of the sound. I can't hear the sound of the sound. I can't hear the sound of the sound! Yes! Oh, Wes! What a word, Smith! You can't stand in any form! Can't stand in any form! And Bakes for me to enter her slithery tights!

Yes! Oh, God! For my distuster real- and the sensitivity of my balls, I keep their banking for more, until there is no seed in left. No seed in left. I cuddle her until we both asleep until the next floor is... We do it all over again. I think he would like this song. Yeah, it's kind of autistic, isn't it? That I mean that in the best way possible.

No water boy. here we go. Yeah. Four days on. Yeah. Four days on. For days on. Snatch. That song kind of creeped me out. I think that was his intention. Yeah, it sounded like that. Sound of autistic and that's really what's going on. No, I think that's... No, I'm sure that was his intention. Ryan S. I was initially forgiving of Tifa's new tits, but you're absolutely right.

We've set our standards too low and they know they can get away with this as a compromise. My only solace is that I already wrote Square Enix off as a shit company making shit games. So I had no hope. There are still developers making big tidbit babes and devs not milking their series dry with uninspired sequels and remakes. Fuck, squeenix. That's... He's a victim of what he just said.

He had no standards. The standards were low. He had no expectations. That's what we... Sean, I have one thing that I hold sacred and that is tits. Yeah, no big ones. I will be the vanguard of it for the rest of time. I don't care. I'm not going to let these big companies walk all over it. Big-titted girls need representation games just as much as giant black guys with machine gun arms do. Okay?

Fine. True story, this guy asked me not to read his name. That guy who had shot the people who came to take him. Well, the same thing happened to me 12 years ago when I was 17. Wow. But I didn't shoot anybody. I had smoked weed a couple times at that point in my life

with some new friends I made after my family moved. My mom found out, and a woman that my mom overreacted and with, gave my mom the idea that my mother needed to send me to a boys and girls ranch. God, dude. If I had a nickel for every story I heard about parents completely overreacting when their kid does the first thing that's like mildly edgy. You know, the hilarious crazy man, they flip out because their little angel has never done

anything before. Do you know why? Because they're hanging out with the wrong crowd. That's what happens to parents. They start hanging out with the wrong types of parents and it scrambles their fucking brains. Yeah, they get, they get all this fear. Yeah. Put in their head. Of judgment. Kids don't have that.

They know they're shit. But parents who get up their own ass and think they need to look good with their, with their new friends on the wrong side of the track. How's that for irony? I woke up at 2 a.m. with two men over my bed telling me to get dressed. Jesus. I was confused and had a million questions and was scared, but they just yelled to get

dressed. As we walked out of my room, my parents stood there and said nothing as I was pleading to them. Totally ashamed to be doing that. Wow. As I was pleading to them, not to send me away, he got that out, like he figured that out. As soon as you saw the parents, obviously.

Maybe, I don't know. Not to send me away, as I had put the pieces together at this point to what was happening. After a long drive, I arrived in Kusharam, Utah. Shhh. The town in Utah was so small that almost everybody in the town worked at this private school. Man, AKA Ranch.

I had no idea these places existed until this show. Everyone was probably related in that town too. They don't let you talk to your parents for like three months, and they're there when you talk to them so they can hang up the phone when you talk about how crappy the place is to be at. Can you possibly have any respect left for your parents? Like when you're an adult, do they ever get to give you advice again?

Do they ever get to tell you what to do? Do they ever have the right to say one goddamn thing to you? Uh, the only thing you can do in return is frame them with cocaine and send them to prison. The only thing that you can do is try to resolve the issue within yourself or come to grips with the fact that your parents are horrible human beings. That's it. That's it.

Oh man, that is a stretch to give them the credit of wanting to help you. And I'll tell you why. Ken's why I say horrible human beings. Because one of them, one of them wasn't as on board with the other one. And in my mind, that one is more to blame for having the recognition of evil and not doing nothing to stop it. Yeah. Like I am, I will more easily forgive someone who is a retarded idiot. Yeah. More than I'll give someone who is right to do going along with it. Sure, sure.

Like I said in my life, I had just smoked weed at this point, but most people at this ranch were shooting up heroin and doing other hard drugs. All this ranch did was get me more curious about drugs. Yeah, well, that's all there did to me. You put, you go to prison, you come out of better criminal. Yeah, con college. Yeah. The only thing that dare, if it wasn't for dare, I probably wouldn't have learned about drugs until college. Probably.

Yeah. Like where else, where the hell else would I've encountered them? I don't know. My house hanging out beside the spitties. Yeah, weed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Years later, when I talked to my mom about it, she said she regretted sending me

and told me the sales tactics, the guy who sold the ranch used and his sounded predatory as fuck. Oh, wow, that is not a good enough explanation. No, no, nope. No, I regretted it. I love the immediate response is, we can't handle this. Sales tactics.

What was the most important thing to say tactics? We have to go to, we've got, I mean, we've got to go to professional parents. You know, oh my God, we're not equipped to handle this. Weed. Oh, dude. I was caught between a crisis and a smooth talking salesman.

What are you talking about? You suck. Whatever your name's mom is, you suck. I also found out. You're so dumb. Just fucking come to grips with that if you haven't already. I feel bad. It's too bad.

You don't get to choose your parents. Some of us get shitty parents. Yeah, you know, I probably feel bad about you saying that because I have a different relationship with my parents than you do. Yeah, so I edited that in the fly, that comment. And luck of the draw. Luck of the draw.

You don't get to choose the hand you're dealt. I also found out that my dad was extremely against the idea, but obviously my mom won. Oh, man. So she was kind of against the idea, but obviously my mom won, oh man. So she was kind of against the idea, and he was totally against him, and he went somehow. Somehow it still happened. Yeah, everyone did everything right.

Yeah, okay, Jesus Christ. I ended up graduating early at that ranch, but after all was said and done, I'm convinced my life would be better and drastically different right now. Yeah, you know what? You're right. If not for that piece of shit ranch in Utah. Wow.

Let's see what else I got here. I'm fucking outraged for that guy. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. The laughing fish, 1987. Oh, he says, for the attack against millennials who don't use tools, owning a toolbox is pointless if you don't own a home. What?

Okay. I'm going to assume that the 1987 in his username is perhaps his birthday, which makes him what, 32 or 32. What, 32? Makes him 10 years younger than me, so he's 31. makes him what, 32 or 32. Make some 10 years younger than me. So he's 31. It's not going to turn 32. Okay.

Or if maybe he's 32 already. Dick may not understand this because he probably did own a toolbox while he lived with his parents in his late 20s. I did not. No. That's false. Yeah. That's false. It's nice that you were taking care of your boomer father's house, but for the average

20-year-old. A lot of assumptions and a little smart ass tone there. Yeah. That's a little... You should probably get your facts straight before you come off real fucking smart ass. He got him fucking fired up from that last call. You know, buddy, that's fun paying off my social security. You entitled little prick.

Fuck you. I was gonna help. I was gonna help and try to get Trump to start a cryptocurrency. So the Fed wouldn't have such a string of hold on our finances. But fuck it. I'd rather just retire and redo the kitchen

in my second house, you little bitch, and you're gonna pay for it. How about that? You're Mexico. Except it. How about that? Your Mexico. Except it's really gonna happen. That's nice that you were taking care of your boomer father's house. But for the average 20 year old renting an apartment, all you need is a couple of tools at best. Well, like a hammer. Remember this was from the millennial dad study. Well, it's a, you have to have a fucking 200 piece socket set, but if worst comes to worse, just call maintenance. Oh, dude. Yeah, okay. Do you still live with your parents?

A live ball. Have you ever called maintenance. Have you ever dealt with maintenance? Have you ever dealt with maintenance in apartment complex? Me? No, I'm just saying. They do it in general. They do a worse job than me. Oh, that's horrible. Discovered. Yeah.

No, yeah. Stop trying so hard to appear manly. Jesus. It's worse than when Maddox did it satirically. Oh. John, this is because this guy's so offended because I said you should own a hammer. Because I was surprised that only 30%

of Millennial dads owned a hammer. But he can't relate to someone who actually has used tools before. It's not appearing manually. It's just growing up, you were in a place where you might use some tools. I didn't build the cabinets in my house. You know what I mean? But like, I can do stuff.

If the doorknob in my house starts to wriggle a little, I will tighten the screws because I have this beautiful, you know what the funniest thing is, this guy's bitching at me for appearing manly. The tools I use most in this house right now, the tools that get a huge, the tools that get used more than any other in this house is 80s girls, chick tool set, this pink tool set that she probably brought at Target, that you, it's a clamshell set that you opened it up and it has pink tools all over it.

And I use hers more because I know that it's always gonna be complete. Yeah, and all the time I always get used and borrow left and oh, it's the worst. Thread all over the house or all over town. So in his wild projection of having his masculinity threatened because he literally can't function without maintenance. Or I assume the police, if something more complicated than a light bulb breaking happens,

he has projected that masculinity onto my girlfriend. You fed, you f-word gen-exers, don't understand about being men. Okay. You just know how to pretend. Awesome. I don't think it's pretending to own a hammer or a screwdriver. You will need it. I mean, yeah, if you don't know how to jump start your car

or you can't fix your tires off the side of the road, it will matter if you're in the middle of nowhere. You might lose more money or time if you can't DIY, but let's not pretend it can't literally be learned after a couple of practices. Well, that's where I want to learn how to change a tire, is practicing on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. Yeah. I mean, God forbid you spend five minutes in between tender swiping and master baiting sessions and checking your credit report to learn how to change a fucking tire on YouTube.

Or to understand the concept that it's held on by five bolts, you entitled, prissy little fuck. Go ahead. No, you said it. A fuck's sake. I know this world is full of soy boy cucks and it's bad for society. a little, a little, a little, fuck. Go ahead. No. You said it. A fuck's sake. I know this world is full of soy boy cucks, and it's bad for society,

but so is trying so hard. That'd be a sage Lee Boomer. To be a sage Lee Boomer. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry, bud. I got that. My bad.

Don't buy any hammers. I'm buying tools ever. My dad, you know, they're own musicians in buy any hammers. My soul's ever. My dad, you know, their own musicians, my family, my dad wasn't a handyman. He didn't have it, he had a workbench. He could do basic shit. He could change a tire, he could do that kind of stuff. But I grew up next to the greatest next door neighbor

who ever fucking lived. This guy built his own plane, right? That's cool. He was a engineer. But he was like, he was like America's fucking handyman. He knew how to do everything, and it was great, man. He put us to work.

We go, I wanna see it, I loved it, man. Everything from learning how to drive a tractor to fucking pour cement to all that kind of shit. And it's like what's kind of amazing is I kind of remember that. I was like, oh, how did he how did he do that? How did he it was like, but I don't think anybody's getting that, you know, today. And not that I've done any of that lately. I'm not fucking doing any of that.

But like, well, you can kind of see it manifest. You can see the lack of practical education manifest with plans that people should know are not going to work. Like, the Green New Deal is a great example where people look at, like, okay, I grew up, my dad's a stock broker. I grew up learning about finance all the time. You immersed in it all the time. And what do you know, you're good at it.

I can see it and know the same with engineering should. Like I see it and go, I know that that's not going to work because it never, like it never does. Yeah, I know enough about the mechanics of that to know it's not going to work. And I was luckily I'd borne with that kind of brain or however that was, yeah, I can tell you that's a bad idea. I think we've got a society of people who don't know

how anything works. Yeah. So they have no idea at a first blush whether something sounds reasonable or not. Because they have no idea how the underpinning mechanisms of it function. Like the idea of rebuilding all of society, if you've ever actually physically built something,

you think, yeah, you're kind of asking a lot. And it's insane. And usually things don't go together as easily as you think. There's always problems. What you're asking is preposterous. Oh, anyway, here we go. Well, we've really blown ourselves here, haven't we? Ha, ha, ha.

But fuck that, fuck that letter. Oh my God, what is this? Let me see if Josh wants to call on about this. Momki is living with that, that the girl that he cheated on his girlfriend with? You might as well. Might as well. Well, I guess except she,

when all of that was happened, she went on a guy's show and like divulged all of his, told all of his secret shit in like the biggest act of backstabbery I have ever seen. So I should pay more attention to the internet. No, you really should. Yeah. Well, then don't you know that?

Monkey Jones released a 50 minute video talking about how he doesn't care about what people say on the internet, which in my mind is the most is the biggest way to say you care about what people say on the internet, which in my mind is the most, is the biggest way to say you care about what people say on the internet. Right. He did. It was a 50 minute video of something about Shakespeare, and sitting cross-legged on a shalter with a, with a black and white picture of big brother of a big brother, Munky behind himself, talking about how now that he's on prescription medication, he just doesn't care anymore.

I don't believe that, but he, as we said, I mean, I think he cares by doing that. Yeah, I don't, I don't, I hope he's all right. Yeah, well, I mean, I know he's not all right, but well, I hope he stops taking his fucking breakups. So seriously. Well, you know, it's an even perspective, perspective sometimes takes some time. Seriously. You know, it's an even perspective. Perspective sometimes takes some time.

Yeah, maybe this is just the future people break up and then they talk about it all day. I gotta take a piss. Go ahead, a rage piss. All right, no, what's up, man? How you doing? No? Yeah. Hey, pretty good. Pretty good.

Were you the one talking about Monkey in there? I forget the chat. I was, see, my good. Pretty good. Were you the one talking about monkey in there? I forget the chat. I was. See, my issue with this is that I've never followed monkey. Yeah. And the first video I've ever watched of his, this 50 minute long video. Oh, yeah.

So I'm looking at it with very unsympathetic eyes because it's the first thing you've ever seen them put out. And all it is is he's basically saying like, I'm in a state of medically induced apathy, and I have my house and I have a cat, and I have my pills, and I have this weird furry pussy, and I'm happy and everybody else can go fuck themselves. Yeah, but it doesn't take 50 minutes to say that. No, doesn't.

No, it's like, like each one of those things I said is like a 15 minute long chapter in this film. And I think that's kind of like, I would have assumed that about someone anyway. Like I don't need to be told that someone doesn't give a fuck. I just assume they don't give a fuck until they prove to me that they do. Until they proved, yeah, exactly.

I also don't like that, that, that being, that Zen, Zen has been replaced with medically induced apathy. Like I'm at peace with my decisions and the harm I've caused is not the same thing as, I'm so dope, tough, and I don't give a fuck anymore. It's frightening, it's the night straightening to see. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if he's running to, what did you say now? San X or, you know, whatever the anti, you know, I mean, see the, sorry, I don't know if he's running to what you say now,

X or you know, whatever the anti, you know what I mean? He said what it is. And I'll do you remember what he said? He was on, no, it's just a thing or something. Yeah, it's something like that. Are you all or something? I don't know. I don't think he said the name of it in the, because I would have remembered it, I think. But he kept shaking the bottle. Like, he just kept reminding people, randomly throughout the thing, they're like, shake, shake, shake, and you can hear the pill bottle.

I'm just like, yeah, this is what I'm on. And this is why I have changed and I don't care. Well, you're, how can I take that serious lesion, it's, I can't take that more seriously than my liquor chemical imbalance. If you're shaking it like a maraca and bragging about how you don't care about what people are saying on Twitter. Different ones do right different with my bartender a lab coat not to not

Funny. Yeah, not to open this can of worms again But they do different things. He has been spading over this Different they different things do different things. He hasn't been spading over this. Different things do different things. What he's doing is escapeism. You know what? It sounds like, I don't know what he's doing actually. You know what? I just didn't even say that.

I don't even know what he's doing. But if you're sitting there shaking, oh look, it's in a pill, then he might as well be sitting there shaking a martini shaker. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah.

What really frustrated me, there were two things that he kept saying that was like, frustrated. It made me lose a lot of sympathy for him as somebody who only knows that he got kicked off of YouTube and stuff. Is number one, he kept saying how his entire life has been ruined. And then he said, oh, and to the haters, don't worry, I live in my own house, I live in my own house, and I sell my Patreon money, and I don't live with my parents, I'm like, you guys.

I'm like, what's that? I'm like, how bad is your life if you still got your pills in your own property? Like you're better off than almost than a lot of people. That's right for sure, sure. Yeah, again, perspective. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Thank God any yet. I forget what I was going to say about it, but it's been, it's been, oh yeah, yeah. The loss of the YouTube channel will, it's like a weird type of death. Yeah. Maybe Aiden Paladin actually has studies on this, but as someone who's been through it, it feels like you die every time. And there is no coming back.

Nothing ever brings it back for you. So whenever I see what Monkies do, and I assume that it's all related to that. Like, I've done pretty well having been thrown off YouTube, but that's because I have, like I have my people that watch my stuff come from a different source than YouTube,

but I wanted to restream the Ralph or Tort and I didn't want to stream it on Dlive because I didn't want to create a conflict of interest with the Dlive administration or it's like this guy, stream sniping this guy and you can't allow that because that's like hostility in the community. So I'm like, okay,

let me use my old YouTube backup channel to stream it just this time to make things easy on myself. And I booted up and instantly, I get like a hundred people watching, like, oh, you still... Uh-oh. Say, where I have all my links, every like updated constantly,

how do you think I've died? Because I stopped streaming on YouTube. What do you mean? How do I think I've died? Because I stop streaming on YouTube. What do you mean? How do I think you've died? No, like the streamers, like, people watching, like, how did you not know? Because like I coordinate everything on one domain, like you could just go there and see links the stuff. But if they don't get the notifications on YouTube, it never occurs to them that you're still streaming. I mean, it's the spectrum of involvement, right?

Like you'll have just, you'll have a small percentage of people who will do literally anything to see you, but the huge majority of them just won't. Yeah, too much effort. Yeah, and then the other is, D-live kind of sucks. The interface is confusing. it doesn't string, it doesn't fucking cast properly. The app is all janky, like as much as we all want there to be a YouTube competitor,

they're just not bringing a fucking A game. These guys, more trouble than it's worth. My issue with it is that it doesn't post process, there's no scaling. So if you're watching it on mobile and you don't have a five and a bit per second connection, you can't watch the streaming all because you don't get that reduced quality. Like most people will just want to hear the audio.

And the audio is like a hundred and ninety two kilobits per second, tops, but there's no way to just like for people who just want to hear audio, they can't, because they don't offer that unless you're an affiliate, and to be an affiliate, you have to get like a verification process, and they have to say, we want to affiliate with you. And it's like that's not gonna happen.

They don't wanna affiliate with me. So that's like a dead end as far as that goes. And if you lose, it's frustrating, because I don't like mobile stuff. I don't use my phone to browse the internet at all. If I'm out it's frustrating because I don't like mobile stuff. I don't, I don't use my phone to browse the internet at all. If I'm out of the house, I don't want to be online. So I'm never using my phone. But mobile stuff is such a huge part of the internet now. Like more than half the traffic on the, the QE farms is mobile. So if my site doesn't work for mobile, that's half the traffic just going to be gone instantly.

Yeah. No, I know what you mean, man. Hey, do you mind if we bring on, you stick around, but I want to talk to Don May Pace. Me too. Okay. All right, Don May Pace, I'll see you there. Hello. Hello.

How are you? Hello. How are you? Fine, thank you. Yeah. I heard you had a fun, you guys had a fun Friday last week on the, on the kill stream. You had a Ralphator, did you not? Yes, before that, I need to show you. Yeah, I heard you had a fun. You guys had a fun Friday last week on the on the kill stream Yes, before that I need to show you something Master Sun, okay, she won she won his son. I need to show you something. Okay, it's very important

Oh, I will play a clip. Okay, it's a very important clip and I want you to hear this clip With complete silence and attention. Okay, let me give me a moment to quiet everyone down. Sean, please be quiet for Domey Paisers. This is Clip. He's never come to us with something important like this. And usually we talk, interrupt everything, but I want complete silence, total silence. Don't even say anything to agree with me.

Just don't talk. Not. Don't even say anything to agree with me. Just don't talk. Not, don't even not. Blink. Blink if you, blink if you understand what I'm telling you. Even you listening at home, stop everyone around you and listen, because this will not be replayed. Okay, dummy place, dummy place, please go. Yes, I would play the clip in three, two, one. I eat poop and I'm a homosexual girl. Oh no, I made an honest mistake. Could you hear that clip? Yeah, very good. That was a wrong clip.

I want to play the real clip right now. I eat poop and I'm a homosexual girl. Oh no, I made another honest mistake. Well, that's the last time you fool me on that one. I think he's broken now. I keep making honest mistakes. I keep making honest mistakes. Do you have any more mistakes there? Yes, I make many honest mistakes. Yeah, I'm sorry. Oh, well, the important thing is you admit it is.

You keep trying. Yeah, that's from the go fuck yourself. I also have something else. Okay. Oh, I'm kidding. I also have something else. Okay. Oh, I'm kidding. It's a price guest. Hello, everybody. Hey, everybody out there.

How you guys doing? I'm the big winner here, Stereo's coconut. Oh, shit. Stereo's coconut is on the call. Oh, shit. Holy shit. How did you book him? Well, what a great re-event of effort.

I got to do it at gunpoint. Yes, he has something to tell us. Oh, okay. I'm so curious. Okay. Say it. Me, Chinese, me no dumb. Me, eat dog.

Yum, yum, yum. Oh my God. Wow, that's right, Steve. That is offensive. Even if he is half Chinese. Yum yum yum. Oh my God. Wow, that's right, Steve. That is offensive. Even if he is half Chinese. I never heard that version. Yeah.

Oh, leave it. There's a couple of. So why don't you come on the show anymore? I wanna know that. I absolutely was trying to kill myself because I was in a terrible situation that I don't want to get into. And then, I email Maddox,

hey, your show is one of the only things that makes me happy. I love it. I can't wait to hear it every week. So Maddox goes, well, come on my show, the next time you're in LA. I am so thrilled. My life is over and I'm out of comedy forever. You're a sick man. I remember that episode.

Oh no. Oh, dummy pesos. You know, I just realized that dummy pesos has taught me a new racist joke. That's gotten this far in my life. The only person to teach me a new racist joke is Dom A. Pesos. The one that rhymed? Yeah. Yum yum yum. What was it?

Me no dumb. Me, Dom. I don't know. Oh, go ahead. Me Chinese. Me play joke. Me put peepee in your Coke. Yeah, I knew it.

It's another, I knew that one too. Yeah. Thank you, Dom. Do you have any more sound clips you need to accidentally play? Donnie Paisal. Yes, I have these one. I eat poop and I'm a homosexual. I'm playing the hits. I want it. I don't want to talk to you anymore. That's enough of Donnie Paisal. Are you guys going to call into the, are you guys going to call into the kill stream this Friday too with me? Yes, yeah, okay. Are you still going of course if Ralph's doing a show?

nervous you nervous Yeah, I'm nervous for it Yeah, I don't know because he's inviting me to like a Chinese stream to talk about China with black pigeon speaks. I don't know, but I know a lot about China. Me China. I know. Me, don't tell you everything.

Me, eat dog. Yum, yum, yum. Well, I would have said that. I would have made a joke like that ever. With such a solemnness. Seat and contempt for the Chinese Yeah, you can hear it through You can hear it there

He said he was okay because he's Chinese Oh He said that you have a close up of him saying that He said so He was talking about with that Chinese name It was like one one shanshin That's my name. According to some people.

Oh, yeah, it is. Yeah, it's Sean's name. Now, I'm nervous about, I'm never about the kill stream too. I saw the pill stream that everyone was talking about. That was a little rough. The Wednesday stream or the Friday

stream with me and down there. I saw the Wednesday stream when Ralph played an almost an entire episode of this show. He's trying to hook up OBS. I saw the Wednesday stream when Ralph played an almost an entire episode of this show. He's trying to hook up OBS. I wanted to jump through the computer like Freakazooid and just help put together his stuff for him or maybe just unplug the internet entirely. I hope he's doing better by Friday.

I hope his cat is doing better. Did you see him fighting his co-host? I heard him fighting Flamenco, but that's it. Yeah, I have that clip. I want to play it. Can I play it? Yeah, please. No, please. Come on.

Yeah, okay. Fine. Okay, I will play the clip. I eat poop. I'm a sexual. Get out of here. Time. Your dexterity needs some work. I don't know if your head your fingers are working very well. I ask you know, it's like flamicking. Are you autistic? And flamicking. You go, actually, yeah, I'm so really autistic. And then you said, yeah, I think they call it Asperger's.

And I'm just sitting here thinking, what in the world Flamico just admitted he had Asperger's liable on air. So is that your problem, can you? Well, that's one of the main problems, yeah. I think it's a kind of sexual go fuck yourself. Okay, goodbye, dummy pesos. Asperger's is this year's gluten free,

or gluten intolerance. Everybody has that. Yeah. Oh, I didn't have no idea. I had a gluten intolerance. What do you think's gonna happen? You don't. No, no, what do you think's gonna happen to Ralph?

I've been catching up on his thread since we got back from Vegas. He's got a lot of people hate him for a lot of things. Yeah. Yeah, well, I don't know. It's frustrating because when I try talking to him, I don't know if he saw the Friday stream with being done. I haven't yet. Like, like, Domé called in and I'm thinking like after the Wednesday, this is the first stream after the Wednesday stream where he's just completely blitzed. Yeah.

And I DM Domé and I'm like, Domé, what's your plan? I know you have a plan, dummy. What is it? I mean, he says, I have no plan, no plan at all. So I'm listening and I just had to stream something for the other suggestion, so I'm just sitting there and I'm listening to it. And he sounds kind of drunk, but not too drunk. And dummy gets on and he plays the same clip of Gator

saying, hi, Ethan Ralph, it's me, Gator. And he just says, like, look, Ethan is Gator, Gator's on the call. And he plays the same fucking clip over. And over again, and Ralph, I think refuses to kick him because that's like the draw of the show. Cause Dummy has made a lot of videos, he's very popular.

He can be quite funny. Yeah. Um, but Dummy is trying his fucking patience so bad. I play right one this time. I play it. I play it. I play right. Like, I don't want to intervention them. I just want to, I don't know. I wanted to ask some questions because I was just kind of probing to see what the mental status was. Yeah. And at a certain point, I realized the effort is hopeless, all is lost, and I keep hearing the fucking gator. And I have like a breakdown, like a live one there.

I just start laughing until I'm crying. My head hurts. I'm laughing the hardest I can remember. And as long as I can remember, at the dumbest shit, and it just goes on and on and rough, like tries to get in on that joke. And he starts saying stuff. And it's so obvious.

He doesn't know why I'm laughing and don't start laughing because I'm laughing. I'm laughing at him laughing. And it's like the fucking Chernobyl reaction where it just explodes. Right, it's gone super critical. And he's trying to be in on it and it's just not working. And that's also funny because he doesn't get it. Yeah. And it's just

a disaster and he cuts it at like an hour and 45 minutes. I gotta go listen to it. Oh, God. I gotta go listen to it to prepare. Well, I'm excited to be on the show on Friday. It sounds hard to follow up though. Yeah. I'm definitely not staging an intervention. Not telling you that. Well, that's the other thing that I mentioned to him. And I mentioned like, did you realize? Because he started, like, I, I, I got really upset with him when he started blocking people who are trying to tell him to get sober.

Yeah. And then retweeting people saying, no, keep drinking and makes the show funny. Like that's junky shit. That's junky shit. When you start fucking like thumbing up people who are telling you to kill yourself. Like that's junky shit. That's junky shit. When you start fucking like, thumbing up people who are telling you to kill yourself, like that's junky shit. Yeah, that's not good.

That's not good. Sorry. I can already tell you're gonna, I know what's like you're wrong. You're not gonna be no bleeding fucking heart. I think I have a unique perspective because I don't have any, I don't have any sort of addiction in my immediate family.

So I don't have any empathy for it. Yeah, except for sports addiction, which is, it's all, which is by its nature aggressive and abusive. So it only earns contempt, right? I don't have any junkies in my family, I don't think. No, no, it's just like, I just see it. And I see that the manipulation and the picking and choosing what you want to hear, that's really obvious to me.

And like anybody with who's an actor is the best rationalizer in the world. Everybody has a fucking masters in rationalization. Everyone's great at it. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what I'm gonna say. I saw the train wreck and I'll, or I saw the pilstream.

I'll watch your guys' appearance. And I read all the comments. And every, every comment I read, I think, oh, God, I'm glad they're not talking about me. Fuck. Yeah. And I think of the first thing you said when you called in, which was, yeah, if you don't want to be on the farm, just don't fuck up.

Yeah, well, you know, never not true. He's just, you want to give people like a lifeline. Maybe I don't know. I think I do. Where it's just like, I can point this stuff and say, this guy fucked up. This is how we got fucked up. And this is where you're at right now in that process.

And I feel compelled to do that. And I don't, a lot of people get mad at me. Why are you such a, why are you like that? I don't know. No, I totally understand that. There's enough fuckups. We don't need more. We don't need to redo this fuckup to know what happens.

Just do something different. Yeah, I know that Cassandra complex very well. It's hard to balance with the patience required of, I don't know, being friends with these extreme personalities or getting involved in extreme personalities. Because this circle is a lot of extreme personalities. The talent is still very interesting extreme. A lot of extreme personalities. The talent is very interesting. Yeah. But and sometimes it's not even sometimes your mind just becomes like the worst thing to

mix with drugs and liquor women or people even like I understand people want to get away from me. Yeah, I totally get it. I get it. I get it. I get what you're doing. I don't like it, but I understand. Maybe we're what you're doing. I don't like it, but I understand. Maybe we're seeing some of that. I don't know. But yeah. Well, what's weird is that like, I don't, you don't drink when you do your show to you. I don't drink.

I drink. Yeah. Sometimes I do. I don't drink before though, and I try to keep it under control. Yeah. Cause I know what he said, go ahead. He said that some of his best streams were with him drunk. And I was thinking of,

everybody says that. It's frequently cited as being one of the best streams he ever did was the corn stream, which you were in. And I was shit-faced on that stream. Yeah, I think it's funny when I'm drunk. I'm still, you know. But I mean, it's true though. It's like, like, the thing with that though,

is he was so drunk in that corner and stream. I don't know if you remember this. He was blacked out for 90% of it. He was not present in that stream. Yeah. He just left OBS running. I'm like, that's not a point in your favor. You can't bring that up as a point in your favor

when it just removes you from the fucking, the episode. It is, you never have a control. Like you can't, I refuse to let myself think that liquor ever makes anything better because it is impossible to say without a control. You know, like maybe it was, maybe the liquor helped, but you don't know because you were not, there's not an identical scene where you're sober. Right. So you cannot know yourself because your mind, the addition center of your brain

wants you to take that lifeline, so you have more excuses to drink, and you just got to be, you got to make yourself say out loud, I don't know that that's true. It might have been better sober. Right. Exactly.

You don't have a parallel show. It's like, yeah. Yeah, it's like people who say that waiting to the last minute always makes them do their best work. Like that is such a fucking self enabling part of our shit. Absolutely.

Don't say it out loud. Right, right. Don't make me disagree with you on that. Don't say it out loud. It does not hold up to logic. Yeah. Um, I'm just nervous and I hope it's not awkward.

That's what I, that's what my fingers crossed is that I don't want your appearance on it to be awkward somehow. Oh, don't worry. Yeah, this is what did anything make you a rage? Shit, you can think about anything. Oh, did you hear? Here's my here's my rage. It's very political. I apologize in advance. State property fetuses. Oh my. Okay. Have you heard, have you heard about the news in the United Kingdom? No. Last few days. A Nigerian woman who was mentally handicapped had the intelligence of about a elementary school student got pregnant. Nobody knows how she got pregnant, but she had to appear before family.

Two people love each other very much. They don't know who the father is and it's not Monday and that. So she appears before the court and the judge who is a pro-choice activist, of course, mace the determination that even though the Nigerian woman and her mother are both devout Catholics, and the mother says that she would take care of her grandchild, they make the determination that it would be more traumatizing for the woman to give birth and have to give the child up to the foster care system. And it would be to have an abortion. God.

So at 22 weeks, there's an issue that the abortion law in the UK is such that after 24 leaks, it's illegal. So they got to cram through this fucking abortion in two weeks against two woman against her will and against the will of her family. And this point from when I understand the fetus can fill pain, it's really now. Oh God. And they're saying she doesn't have the mental capacity to make that kind of decision. So they're making it for her. Oh, and wow, this was the same argument with Charlie. Remember Charlie? I don't remember his last name. He was on life

support or something like that. Waiting in line. He had a weird DNA decaying condition. And his quality of life, he was gonna die. But they had crowd-funded money. They had independently raised enough money to go to the US and try an experimental treatment that could delay his death. And the United Kingdom told their parents, if you bring this child to the US and come back, we will arrest you. Because the same argument was made for Charlie

and for this baby, where the baby of the woman was supposed to have a higher than average rate for abnormalities. Yeah. So it's like, this person's presence is a burden on the NHS, on the taxpayers. Oh. So we're going to make the determination

that it has to die. And so the Charlie one they could have brought into the US and fixed him or made him a little better amount of treatment. Probably not. Probably not. That's what we're going to try. Yeah, so it'll let him try. And it would be good for the kids to have a child. Is it a kid in the Charlie case? It was like nine months old. It was very young. Oh, my God. Okay, so he's, yeah, he's, he's out of the decision making, but the parents wouldn't should.

That whole country has got to be burned to the fucking ground, man. So many people deserve to be killed running the UK. Well, I think I can legally say that. Those, those kind of, I can't, I know I can't say that against the people in California, even though there's just as bad. But the UK is out of fucking control. Well, those are the kind of stories that you just don't hear about. You know, the dark side of that system.

No, I heard about them. I heard about the Charlie one. I mean, what, that you just don't hear about, you know, in the US. But it's so clearly because we tend to romanticize other people's like, wow, it's just, it's a complete utopia. There's zero drawbacks. I don't understand. It's like, no, you hear that? Oh, this is what, remember, this is, remember where I work. This is what, yeah, it's, you know, this is kind of what you, you don't work on pole and forechan, like me. Yeah. I mean, I don't believe it.

Right. Because I have thoughts. But you're saying the positive part of socialized medicine versus, sure. Well, you know what's, what strikes me about this is it's not even about, it's not about money. Like that money is obviously a lie that it's more efficient to whatever. It's just about the authority that they have for people to make an exam.

Like what is, what could possibly be wrong with letting them go to another country and being a pincushion? Even if it was Guatemala, and they're gonna fix this kid by rubbing magical stones on his back, or meanwhile that you're going to America, who by the way invented your entire medicinal, who

invented your fucking world when it comes to medicine. It all comes from here. We're pioneering all of it because specifically because it is not socialized. You're just reaping the benefits that we give you like God so that you can't control your own people enough to let them come here to the medical wonderland that is America to get an experimental person. It's so fucking insane, man. That's a dangerous thing.

Agreed just overreach into private citizens' lives. Well, before I leave, I do have good news. As of today, it was appealed. And somehow in five days, they got an appealing before the subversion was supposed to take place within two weeks. And the two male judges in the appellate court rolled that it's a complicated situation they can't force the abortion. Well, that's good.

Yeah. Yeah. Some got to have it. It's just been there. I think a little bit of Islam is good for them. You know, that's what they need in this area, Quart, where you can appeal these decisions to and get fair, fair trials. Everybody needs a bad guy. Like they need to start have, instead of collecting knives, the police need to be collecting rapists.

Well, a little, a little bit of actual crime will straighten them up. Yeah, you know, you'll start if you don't have a villain, you're definitely going to make one. Yeah. All right, no, thanks for calling. I'm actually on Friday, man. I'm going to go watch that Ralph report stream that you were on. Hopefully you find this one easy as I did, because I was laughing crying. I couldn't, like I had to take an aspirin because I was I was Mentally broken Situation I can't wait. All right. See you buddy Okay, let's do some voicemails. All right everybody. This is the Dix show

Dix shots dick dot show patreon.com slash the Dix show Thanks everybody who came to Vegas. Thanks for coming. It was a blast. It was a blast. L.A.R.S.S.N. Thank you for playing and opening. I was pissed that I couldn't hear them backstab. But everybody afterwards everybody said it was amazing. So I was happy about that. Thanks Bobby, Ashmit for putting it all together. Postrophos, Mad Cugs, tab was there. Yeah, it was great, pretty fun. Yeah, it was cool that everybody, it was like a greatest hits. Greatest hits. Let's do voice mills right now.

Here we go. See you next Tuesday. Presenting. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Ready. I think maybe I got the wrong take on that state enforced abortion thing. Like what if they could genetically test for bad annoying people, bad drivers, stuff like that? Yeah, I don't know. You ramped this up.

Give you Genics, you Genics have gotten it, has gotten a bad name. Give it another one. Give it, it needs a better name. New Genics. New Genics. There you go, new Genics. New Genics. Right, is that what happened go, new Gen X. New Gen X.

Right. Has that ever happened to you? Now with fewer racisms. Yeah. This is all, this is only why people. Has this ever happened to you guy coming up to your work, telling you a story, right in the middle of something,

and then he shows him rewinding into a baby, and then a fetus, and it's like, boop. Yeah, he's gone. Oh man, my life is so much better. Do you like back to the future? It's like that except yeah except different uh... i've just my life is complete without larry

hey dickation you know it makes me really fucking rage is being stuck uh... to like being stuck talking to a woman after you've already gotten their number uh... i think we uh... was seeing my friend off at his Crab Magost class and it was a chick there. We have very similar interests. She's really cool. She's one of the first things she fucking mentions to me

is that she has great endurance. So great that she lasted nine hours, or she did nine hours of like straight up sex. Or she like fucks her nine hours straight, I should say. And I was like, hey, you know, I can see why I had a problem talking after the number. Yeah, that's, I was gonna ask if I, you want to, like, okay, if you want to try to break that record, you know.

And one thing we went to another, and I got her phone number, and, but I was still eating with my body, you know? And one thing we went to another and I got her phone number. But I was still eating with my buddy, you know, where Red is like little crab maca like kind of get the meet up thing afterwards. And he's still like talking with his friends on the shit. I'm still sitting next to her and I'm like, okay, well I got her number. And it's like, oh fuck, well what do I say, man?'m like i want to keep talking to her for the whole fucking time that i think that he doesn't want to talk to you you know and he still and he still talking to other people might i'm like okay let's get the fuck out of here i want to talk to her anymore let me talk to

other people know they're busy talking so and it's like okay enough awkward silence and i start talking to her and it's like okay now i'm going through everything it's the evolved fucking long-ass conversations so and it's like okay now i'm going through everything it's this is all fucking long af conversation so and it's like holy shit and uh... and i'm like trying to i guess you can joke and that's like okay listen i i'm kind of tired of fucking talking and i want to talk to you anymore you know i want to click baby let's go on a date or something like that you know i don't want to talk to you after

drinks later you know some other talking's fine there to you that the ship no you know it's just like a faq it i just hate this fucking awkward moment if anything then like it's best to get to get a girl's number and bounce the fuck out of the way right away you gotta get out of it

you know and then and then take her later she doesn't taxed or whatever that's fine it's whatever but like for fuck's sake not no, like don't just sit there and just keep fucking talking to her after you got her number on the shit. Fucking boring. It's fucking. All right, all right, all right. You don't want to talk to her anymore? She doesn't want to talk to you anymore.

It's time for stage, time for stage two, right? Neither one of you, neither one of you wants to be there at that point. Just get out of there. You sit in there trying to, you're sitting there trying to pretend your mind is already in the date mode. Your mind is already at McDonald's or whatever you say, wherever you're taking her, whatever other class you establishment you frequent. Yeah, that's it. Balance is done with, and he's right. Hard to imagine that guy would have a problem with turning someone off the talking, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah. So you think this is going from Kansas City? I was on social media the other day. Got an invite, so we're going it. And what do I see? Bachelor's Flash Bachelor at Party. But I have been invited to. Wow. You, uh, I, I, I'll allow you to control my anger. You might as well just cut the balls off this guy right now and nail him to the headboard. From the rest of your life as co-ed.

Not only have you talked to me, yourself, all your friends over. And a night of picturing women. Over now, we have to go around and cater to all these fucking women to do the same thing. Here comes the moment of knowing time ever.

All we want is a night of inappropriate jokes without being censored. Shit. And stories of other kids. Yeah. all we want is an item of uh... inappropriate jokes without being censored and stories of other kids yeah that gummy extra all the and

when you can celebrate never having to have a good ever jim once the mario little that's what the celebration here to the round of the subject ever now the opposite you know for them to be given forever that ever again no that

uh... you know for them that we give them forever i don't know why they have to concentrate the bachelor party too it is so it is such a sick perversion for bachelor and bachelor at parties to be contained women need bachelor at parties so they can act like complete

hores for one night. All of that dicks themed stuff is because they secretly have a lust for cock that is so great they can barely think day in day out. They get one night free for they have a force, a protective force field of a bachelor at party, the most annoying force in the world that physically repels men away from them where they can let their lust for a cock wild. For one evening, without a guy popping out of the toilet

like a goolee, asking them if they're ready after asking them if they want some fuck. They need it just as badly as we do. We just want to sit around, watch TV, and make no plans. That's it. We're spending a weekend at a house we rented together. What are you gonna do? Don't miss, don't even talk to me about those plans.

The best man is our sacrificial woman for the weekend. He's got to make all the plans. That motherfucker has to make all the plans. The best man is our sacrificial woman for the weekend. He's got to make all the plans. That motherfucker has to make all the plans. Some of it, we might not even show up. We're gonna fuck that guy. We finally get to treat plans. How we secretly think of them.

Our whole fucking lives, which is that we do not care. We do not care about the plans. We're going to a house together for one weekend and we're gonna have not one fucking plan in the world. Yep. We need it. It's not a party. It's not a party if it's like every single day of your life.

Where women have to repress their cock lust until they go insane and then have to do plans. I'm a little choked up. That was, you fucking idiots. That was a sick, that was a staggering work of genius. It is a sick perversion to combine these things. It is a sick work of puritanical repression. There is truth and then there's that.

Take note, take note of that. Yeah. Young people. Send it to your friends. Have you ever get a bachelor bachelor at party invite? Yeah. It's, it's just a difference. It's like this in every relationship. It just is. It's a celebration of the bride who is no longer going to be a huge whore. That's why they have all the cock paraphernalia. This is your big night before you have to repress it again forever. Guy, you get to have one more week end in your life without plans. This is it. What do you guys want to do?

Oh, nothing. Yep. Whatever I nothing. Yep. Whatever I want. Yeah. I don't know what do you guys want to do for dinner? I don't know. There's like, like whatever. Figure it out.

Right. Do your own thing. Order pieces. Is that cool? You know that it's cool. It's not cool. I'll just keep them. You know, we plan to go out here, but you know what?

I don't know. Do you feel like doing it? Nope, not really. Oh, fuck it. Who cares? We're gonna go to a rubb and tug. That's a really good time. Yeah.

There's no undue pressure or anxiety or anything because nobody has expectations. And if anything goes off script, you know what happens. That's what it is. It's the one night of your life that is devoid of expectations. Women are not expected not to act like huge cock hars and men are not expected to go do activities. That's it. All right. Thank you for the voicemail. Hi, Dick. This is David Humay, no mean for Twitter or Patreon and the gentleman's sausage or from the Vegas Road to Asia is that one weird fucking guy lost to the side and that really made it worse.

David, all the future reasons. I don't know what it was. I had Friday. The only thing I could think of was that weird fucking cocktail. At the beer party, surely afterwards, I was feeling kind of nauseous. And, uh, I had the, uh, the run-through of Ace of Night and A. Hmm. Uh, the significance of this? Oh, I smell something. It smells like something.

Is that, uh, while I was, you know, off in the corner being my weird, wounded animal felt with my sickness? There's a lot of, uh, real acceptance and kindness coming through from a lot of the other dickheads. Yeah. It was great. I had people come up, you know. I would expect, hey, you look fucking weird. You look fucking standoffish.

Get the fuck out of here. What's your problem then? But it was, it was But it was kind of worried, kind of lost. How are you doing? Where are you from? It's easy to accept people who are easy to get along with, but it's so much about the character. The average dickhead.

That's right. That's right. That's right. As all as I was, and as people were admitting I was putting off a weird vibe, again, it's just because I was kind of sick. Sorry to anyone who made uncomfortable. People were still making a real effort. And that says a lot about the character you're average daycare here. So even think as I was, this is a great experience to show itself

hilarious. I got a good speed. I got a good speed. I got a good speed. I got a good speed. I got the test rubber behind where he is. Where he got chopped off. Oh, God. Was he talking about the confetti cannon? Yeah, was he so was he over there? He must have been. I didn't quite get that. See if I could figure out what I said, but we were talking about. I suppose fucking up that confetti cannon. That was my favorite part of the show. Pretty priceless kicking out his confetti fan and what can was my favorite part of the show. Pretty priceless. Kicking out his confetti can and so that it got unplugged. Yeah.

As soon as it happened, I thought back to all the times in all my life where I've put cable, I've put chords together, I always tie them in a knot. Every single time because I've done it so much at Burning Man, I know they get ripped apart. Every single fucking time I put an extension cable in, tied it in a knot. Any guitar player who's ever played live knows that you put the jack through the strap and then plug it in the bottom. Because you'll step on it. And there it goes.

You play, everybody learns that the first time they ever walk around and play guitar. Sean, you're just being a sagely boomer. You shouldn't prepare for anything. Preparing for anything is faking like you're being a man like that. It's used to do. Don't be stupid. It's manly to not be prepared for anything like a child.

Yeah. You know, I mean, it's responsible. Is plugging in a guitar correctly? Is it going to take you more than five minutes to learn? You know, like in the, so. John, no one who anyone respects like your dad or Donald Trump prepares for anything in life. Yeah. It's the opposite.

Right. We were talking about that, that whole concept of the, you know, few minutes after I got to the villa, and we were just talking about the camaraderie and how, what nice things people do for each other from you doing things like flying people out to really unfortunate events like funerals and things like that. To other dickheads who, you know, pool money or do something nice for, you know, for somebody else.

And it really is like that. And it's like we kind of came to the realization that it's like this, this community is what other communities who would look down on this community want to be. It's what they wish they were. I think that's true. They talk about that kind of stuff, but I don't think they do it.

I do think they look down on us. Yes, I haven't done it. I've felt like I saw my whole life. Yeah. Here's the speaking of good vibes. That little stab between funky and mysterious, on Twitter. Yeah.

Fuck hysteria. Ha ha ha ha. I'm glad George didn't confess and that that fucker has to pay back those legal bills. He's a fucking asshole. Oh, screw that guy. I don't know about this. I mean, I don't know about that one. No, no, it was just like in the last couple days.

I hope you leave the leg. What did he say? I don't know in here. I think he said, I hope you lose a leg. A leg, oh my God. Yeah. I guess the monkey and the stereos had a little scheduling conflict.

And it seems, a stereos pulls out the as a PR, as a PR person, he pulls that card out a little too much, telling people what they should do, and needing to handle everything offline. As a PR, as a PR person, you gotta stop, you gotta stop beefing on the internet right now.

Like, motherfucker, what do you mean? You started beefing on the internet immediately. Like episode 15 of the show. What are you, just because you look like an asshole now? Yeah, I don't know, it's where I see that sentiment a lot though. A couple of worse and to show too. Huh? The account's so fucking tired of people asking like,

when the sex robots come out, everybody's just gonna do nothing to have sex. Just a good old boy. You ever tried to have sex all day long, every single day. Yeah, it hurts. You break shit. Torin my dick, stickin sticking in my girlfriend's pussy eight times in the same guy

damn day and torn her pussy all goddamn to smithereens. Oh shit. I love it. I want to I like this guy. Not much. I want this guy to get a lot of time today. It's enough. Good. That's the only reason we do anything else in the first place anyway. because we can't fuck all goddamn day. You got shit to do. Sex robots will be perfectly fine. This accent sucks. Is this Ross Perose grandson?

That is real. Is that is real act? I don't know. I don't know. Maybe I'll go mark him as Ross Perot and the voicemail and see if he calls in again. That's great. I guess there's two, there's going to be two futures with sex robots. Either you will have sex robots that are not as good as women, but everyone says they

are. Oh, yeah, yeah. Right. Right. This happens with new technology. It's new. Therefore, it has to be better. Right.

Like with teeth as tits where I seem to be the only heterosexual man left in the world who recognizes that they are not too big. So there will be, there will be people who only want the real thing who will basically I just have sex with all of the women remaining or the alternative future where the sex robots are so good that you cannot stop having sex with them until they are regulated by the government to have sex only one and a half times a day. That will be, it will be a case of productivity happening. Exactly. To keep you from shaving your own dick down to a bloody bloody stump. The inevitability of sex robot regulation is so important that we get in front of this now to stop these laws from getting enacted. Like the founding fathers attempted to do

with a second amendment, we need an amendment in the constitution to prevent the regulation of sex robots. Because as much as that guy is committed to the belief that sex robots will not, that we will not have sex with them all day, the reality is the companies in charge of the sex robots are competing against that to make sure that you keep, that you, all times you're engaged in coitus with your sex robot that is probably ad-funded. Yeah.

We got to get that amendment in there to prevent the regulation of times sex bots are allowed to. Thanks to Ponder. Yeah, I really, I don't know if I, I honestly don't know if I should talk about this today. But I feel like I have to. I know it's going to come up during the week. Because I saw a couple guys talking about it. Anybody on here? On the chats? Discord?

No, on the other Discord, on the not for human consumption discord I saw it come up and it is It's a huge It is another sad tragedy. It is a horrible sad tragedy Very very bad news very bad news. I've been thinking about it all show. I've been thinking about it all day. And I try not to give the bad news at the beginning of the show because life's depressing. Yeah. Like everybody is depressed about shit all day. And no matter how meaningful it is, it's just

people don't want it up front. And as part of doing a show, you just get to do it. Talk about it later. But we lost Alan this weekend. Violently after the show, he was at the show. He was at Vegas. We hung out with him all weekend. Alan Foster from Not for Human Consumption. Who is a great guy? Everybody says he's a great guy. If you've listened to the show for a while, he was the Stereo's vomiting guy. He was the first competitor in the stupid join the CNX Tuesday network against the thought cops.

He's come to several road ridges, he's been in a bunch of times, hung out with him. He was always a steady guy, reliable guy, and a hell of a nice guy the joy to talk to and be around. You always seem really positive. We found out yesterday on the drive home that after the show for whatever reason in the house, in the villa that everyone was staying in. He took his own life. Was this the, was it the next day?

We don't know. I don't, I don't think the details are really important. I don't want to put details out there that I don't, 100% know. Oh, yeah. It happened so recently that I, even the stuff I do know I don't consider is fact because I don't know I wasn't there. But we found out we found out on the drive home yesterday and I think it was about an hour of silence that we found out and it was dead silence for the last last hour Because everybody really enjoyed that guy like He was just a cool dude. We talked about I talked to him a bunch of times about doing a show with his property in Arizona

He was keen on making that happen property in Arizona. He was keen on making that happen. Randy was saying that they shared an Uber and he was hyped about how successful the show was and I started seeing him on the drunken peasants popped up and one of the last times I talked to him, after he called in, I was like, do you know, thanks for calling in, you just, you get it, you always get it. And these things that I'm saying are stupid, like they're just stupid comedy stuff, but you know, you had a whole life, obviously, that I don't know shit about.

Right. That's how I know him. I'm gonna read, I'll read the last thing he sent me just because I know a way else of remembering the guy. I'm sure other people can do it better. I know some of his buddies were there, but I was texting with him on Saturday, talking about Randy. Something saying Randy was cool and he's great. Then he sent me this, which I got after the show, which was hanging in the front row, kill it tonight. I've never seen a road rage this nuts before. Happy for you. I hope I can do

some crazy shit like this one day. Um, there you go. Yeah. Sorry everybody, but it sucks to lose people. Um, when Mumke put out his first video, I was freaking out because Andy's death has never gone away. Yeah. It just sits like a sick weight. Yeah. All the time.

Yeah. This one will do the same thing. And you're right. And the details are not important. It's just he was there and he isn't anymore. And that sucks. It just flat out sucks. Yep.

So there you go. That's all I know. And I'm sure people will talk about it because a lot of people really like that guy. Okay, we're done. F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F. Thank God for F. Thank God for that meme. Yeah. It's only funny. Only the funniness of the F. Yeah, even I get it. Yeah. Rip is just too heavy. Yeah.

Rip is a boomer, doesn't boomer death meme. It looks, man, it does look very fine. Rest in peace. What are you taking yourself very seriously there? F, yeah. F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F. Yeah. Yeah, I know a lot of people like them, so.

I'm sure a lot of people have stuff to say. Oh, Johnson Brown says he might have had incriminating information that would lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton. Is that appropriate? No. Probably not. See you all later. All later.