The Dick Show - Episode 163 - Dick on Party Crashing

Episode Date: July 16, 2019

I meet Mundane Matt at Vidcon and lose a hotdog eating contest, split trash cans, the war on toilet paper, conferences and the people who go to them, global warming nonsense, Mumkey Jones bails on calling in and costs me $50, running out on your family, the importance of not making people insane, questions with unnecessary answers, Vito: the neckbeard who vaped an e-girl's bathwater, The Chris Cant Cast starring Cantillions and Chris the Kiwi, storming the Federal Reserve, Null and his girlfriend sitting in a tree, D-O-X-X-I-N-G, and I save a Maddox; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Is he here? Is Monkey here? I hope so. Oh, he'll come on. I have faith that he'll come on. He said he would call in. Monkey Jones, Monkey Jones said he would call in if he was awake during the show today. And I said, what time are you awake then, Princess?

And I'll do the show then. Where is he? He's in the States, right? He's a so-halla land.'s in the show, LaLanda. Well, so it's later than here. Yes. I don't care what kind of temporal disability he has. Yeah.

First of, whatever you, it's another late, you want to go. I promise you, I'll record that late, Momki. Yes. Oh, I dated a girl who was a vampire. Yeah. So I can stay up. You mean like, like, she really thought she was a vampire? So I can stay up. You mean like like she really thought she was a vampire?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, nothing like that. I was older than that. She didn't like the sunlight. She wouldn't go. She wouldn't wake up during the sun. And she needed to, she needed at least a monster every couple of hours to stay alive. A monster. A monster energy drinker. Oh, oh, a monster. A monster. I was just before it was a boomer drink though.

Huh. I've never, yeah, don't ever think you're safe from Domey Paceous. Okay, let's start the show. He's being, he's being a depressed retard. The porn lawyer's provider, Nakao says he's being a depressed retard. The porn lawyer's provider, Nakao says he's being a depressed retard. So he sleeps until like 3 p.m. probably, but that's well within our range of the show. That's true. That's where monkey fucked up.

Yeah. He got the time zones flipped and thought he could fuck us over. Hold it open for you. I'll be here all day until I get a no from monkey Jones. There you go. He's not showing up. Only then. Oh man, because I have to have a serious talk with him about how much gay shit he is responsible

for unleashing onto the internet. Well, don't hit him yet. Let him come on. No, he might not call it. He'll call it. He's asleep. He better not be asleep. Cripple Jesus says he's not.

But I put 50 bucks on his ass calling in. How does Cripple Jesus know? Sean, this is all there is on the internet these days. Tracking each other, sleeping matters. No, tracking monkey Jones is specifically tracking monkey Jones. He tracking monkey Jones he's bigger than Rick and Morty is he still putting out stuff yes

I guess you could call it bad all right he's still uploading content uploading videos yes got it I don't know if I don't know if he's putting it out or the drugs are putting it out. No, no. Um, crippled Jesus was that was I didn't bet you, no, I didn't bet you 50 bucks. It was someone on Twitter.

I forget who it was. I bet I'm 50 bucks he would call it. I hope he calls in. I hope he doesn't think I'm going to ambush him. I'm not going to ambush him. I think God that YouTube didn't exist when I broke up with my first girlfriend or when she broke up with me.

There are so many things I'm glad didn't exist. Oh man. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. All right. Presenting Yeah

Hey, welcome to dead you wonder you need to you love it you got it. It's the show Where everything's a contest gonna be live from mountain bucket deep in the heart the city of failure. I'm your host stick message in a K. A. $20 million man. Florida America's worst Mexican 12 weeks running with me is always is world touring L. A. based comedian show in the out of the what's up buddy. I might sound a little horse because I've been calling ice all morning to get out in front president Trump's escalation of the of the of the deportation war that he's launched onto America in his in his Nazi regime. I've been got no matter every,

everything the Boschman get on the horn with ice right away. Do you? Yeah. Hey, there's some kids kids this morning woke me up from my slumber. I need a, they're illegal immigrants. Get them over here. Yeah. They're midgets. Don't pay any attention to their asianness or there. There are two larger illegal Mexicans in the house pretending to be their parents, but they are actually illegal Mexicans outside playing with the bounce throwing a ball against the fence at 8 30 in the morning screaming about screaming about God knows what squealing like pigs like I mean like illegal Mexicans do said an ice squad over immediately to deport

them. No questions asked. I drove to pick up coffee that guy didn't put on his signal. Ice is this ice? Yeah. There's a fucking illegal Mexican in an Alexis SUV, Alexis Rx430, who just made an illegal Mexican turn into their Starbucks, get over here. They're really wily. Yeah, they are. Yeah, they slip right in. Where there's an illegal Mexican wearing an old lady, an old white lady suit, who just made it,

illegal turn into Starbucks and her Lexus SUV. And you can tell by the driving. Mm-hmm. Driving always gives you away. Yep. I'm gonna fire up a Tinder account. Swipe left.

Ah, illegal Mexican. No swipe back. Yeah, legal Mexican. For sure. Get her outta here. Get outta here. Send her to the concentration camps. Get out. Yeah, legal Mexican for sure get her out of here Center the concentration camps get out. You see one of those got shot up What one of the one of the one of the concentration camps, you know, no, yeah, I'm it shot up for something like that I've been so happy the last few weeks just staying away from the news at all Sean

You got but you got to tune into a gun. You got to tune into a gun show. I don't even have to hear what you're doing. Yeah, you come on. It's a pop pop pop pop pop pop. So, okay, well, tell me about it. I don't know anything about it. Just happened. What? Who shot what up? Uh, some kind of, some, an insane person as it turns out, shot it up because it's an illegal, fascist Nazi concentration camp. So what else would you do? Right. If there was a Nazi concentration camp, then you can survive too with your guns.

What are you supposed to do? What are you supposed to do, you idiots? You remember when you tried to cancel, beevus and butthead because some shithead, lit his trailer on fire? Wake up. We're going to cancel you, you assholes. Jesus.

Oh, legal concentration camps. All right, everybody. I'm going to good mood today. Good. I went to VidCon. Yeah. VidCon. It's a, it's a convention for, for YouTube people.

I guess I don't know that much about it. What is it? The convention center and a home. It's an anion. Oh, an anaheim. Yeah, so Izzy was there and Justin Wang was there and I thought, what the hell? Let's go meet some of these guys.

I've been reacting to their tweets for years. Yeah, sure. Let's go see if Justin Wang is really as buff as he seems and his hair is as silky as it looks online. Let's go see if Izzy makes any other face than the Game Boy detective face. Let's see how many Game Boy's he has on him. What'd you find out?

He did have, he had multiple Game Boys on. Yeah, multiple Game Boys. What's the faces? He made a different face than that. So I go to VidCon. But very fun time. Maybe that's why I'm in such a good mood. And I also knew that Maddox might be there. I go to VidCon. Very fun time. Maybe that's why I'm in such a good mood.

And I also knew that Maddox might be there. Oh. Yeah. And I really wanted to fuck up his time. Yeah. Just because I'm being present. Just by people talking about me. Yeah. You know, Dix gonna be here.

Your favorite thing. Where's that coming like, like a like a like a slowly moving cloud of mustard gas or Foss gene and right and in World War One slowly making its way across no man's land Over to the trenches. I could be anywhere to ruin everyone's day. I could be anywhere, you could turn around, there's me. I'm here. I'm here to fuck things up, man. Yeah. Was he there?

Yeah, so here's how it happened. I was heading down to VidCon and Justin Wang text me and says I just met Maddox. I love the looming specter of dread. Yes, that must hang over me. That is exactly what I can do what I get to play big shot. I get to play Maddox of, you know, 15, 20 years ago, but I did all this stuff.

And now there's an albatross tied to my neck or I don't know what. Oh, but that's, yeah, but Dick doesn't like doing these convention things because he thinks they're a waste of time and he hates socializing and you know. Not anymore. Not that I got a know what. But that's what yeah, but Dick doesn't like doing these convention things because he thinks there are a waste of time and he hates socializing. Not anymore. Not now that I've got a reason to. I love it.

There's something I like doing. I like doing more than not socializing. Shit, I'll go. Yeah, you should have. Because I know he's there running his mouth, right? Like Mr. Chuckling. Yeah, probably. You know, you hear a lot. So Justin text me because I just met's there running his mouth, right? Like Mr. Chuckling, yeah, probably. Ooh, you know, you hear a lot so Justin texts me

because I just met Maddox. Yeah, I think he's at Bogey or Chris Reagan introduced him to, I think it was Bogey. And he goes, yeah, I said, oh yeah, yeah, what did he say? He goes, oh, he said, I'm not gonna read it directly. He said, something to the effect of, well, a lot of half truths could actually, maybe I should read it. Yeah.

I don't wanna summarize what other people say. A lot of how. Because it's never as funny. Yeah, well, that's true. He just said that you feel differently about people in person and that there's information that's hearsay and rumors and not necessarily accurate. That's it. So Justin's response was, oh yeah, Dick's coming to town tonight just fly high. Which he is. So yeah, this is going to be great. So I tool down there with

Keon and Randy. Oh, fun. You know, I like to roll in with a lawyer in a Hollywood big shot if I'm going anywhere. Yeah. We pull into the party and a couple of people who've called into the show over there, Billy the Fridge is there. Oh yeah. A couple of other guys, yeah. A lot of people knew, a lot of people knew of me,

which was cool. I get what's wrong with what, drunk and peasants? No, just in general. Well, no, but I was like, oh, yeah, no shit. Yeah, they're like, oh, I remember your doctor Phil video. I'm like, oh, I guess you would have seen that like when you're in middle school or some shit, right? Yeah, yeah.

Um, first to arrive on the scene is I, and I, I know full well as I see the guest list that's developing in this party. I'm like, oh, well, oh, man, I said some pretty rough things about that guy. Oh, I said way worse things. It's a party like in a hotel room or in the house. So much more into it. Because they all have their, all cons have kind of their own parties, right, from different companies or whatever, like, but those are dog shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but those are, and it's a normal thing to have. The, the conference, the entire conference racket is such a gigantic scam and a fuck you. If they have made me a rage for years, conferences, a conference is the concept of work, mandatory work, fun distilled into a weekend or a week. Like it is an event specifically targeted for the people who cannot function in getting drinks after work.

They need to have a cornhole at the office and drinking non-alcoholic cider day. That's what they need. It is a vacation for them. It is a, it is once again holding the, it is the democratization of the socially functionable, socially functioning because they need to cram everybody in these red assamine worthless seminars, one after the other. It is conferences. The modern conference is for the people, is for all of the people in America in the world who raise

their hand at the end of after the bell and tell the teacher that she forgot to assign homework. Oh God. That's who it's for. You show up at a conference. They hand you a tote bag full of homework that you will do and then they give you a wide selection of worthless shit to attend to listen to people laughing at their own jokes, telling you shit that you that's taking an hour to tell you shit that would take

10 seconds to read. And lying, lie overstating their experience. Half truths. All half truth. Implications. The entire conf, every single conference ever. May or may not be true. The world is made for the socially non-functioning and people who enjoy mandatory work fun.

I was just talking about like video game manufacturers having their own parties. Those are all dog shit as well. Okay. Those are dog shit because they, because people who are not fun are in charge of planning a party that is not fun. Eh, fair enough. I hate conferences. I fucking hate them. Because I've been going to them forever. And they want to, and they make me want to blow my goddamn brains out. Sitting over standing, standing in a hotel lobby,

because you spend all of your time there socializing in an area that is not meant to socialize in. Well, from the time, from the time that you've been in your current industry, I can always remember like when we live together, you'd always be going to different conferences all around the country, right? And everyone would come home with wiped out. And it, because you're standing. Yeah, but it's standing the whole time.

I'm thinking, why the fuck don't we go to a bar for this? Well, but they always ended with you getting in trouble. Well, either removed from the hotel for playing a grand piano that was behind lock and key. No, you know, for passing out in an elevator for who knows what else? The, the Hilton on the America's Avenue in New York City. Yeah. Has a club on it forever because of me. Yeah.

Because I, the piano, the piano, the, the, the grand piano in the ballroom of the Hilton of New York has a, has a club on it because of me. Yeah. And the next night I picked it and picked the lock on the cloud. I remember that. It's anything I could do.

It was one of those ones, it was like, the first time I was fumbling around with the girls bra, I was like, yeah, hey, let me just try to pick. I mean, you have a lock picking kit. Don't you already do it? Yeah, I bra. I was like, yeah, hey, let me just try to pick a jam. I mean, you have a lock pick and kit. Don't you already do it? No, I do, I still have it. Which I think is illegal.

I mean, to have somehow too thin of metal. Oh, that's a little bit. Anyway, conferences. Yeah, adjust. High for the socially functioning, it is a high pressure situation of waiting to birth insanity after the fact. So there is a house party put on by people who are not buying into the...

Yeah, yeah. So you're going to a good party. A good one. The one where Maddox will show up. Oh, boy. And I'm going through the guest list of people who are coming thinking, oh, God, oh, I've said some pretty nasty shit about. Oh, I appreciate some pretty bad stuff. Oh, I said some pretty bad. Well, time to face the music, I guess. I guess.

I need to go on an apology tour because I come out strong because you remember there was a time when nobody knew about any of Madagascar Canary. No. An evilness. No. An scumbaggery.

And that is, to me, I think the most effective way to get any message across is to attack mercilessly, make a noise immediately, and put people on their heels so that they're looking to negotiate. Like, whoa, what do I need? What do I need to understand? What do I need? What do you mean?

What do you mean? Why nobody wants to be pissed at? Because you're so forceful. Yeah, yeah. It's so forceful, it's like, whoa, okay, wait a minute. I'm kind of forced to listen and get my bearings. And you gotta do that immediately and right away,

you gotta come out really hard. And the apology tour is a inevitability. Because otherwise you just an asshole. Yeah. So I see the guest list, I see. I think Justin Wang and Izzy, Nobree and Chris Reagan show up first. Chris Reagan who I've said, I've said terrible things. Yeah. I've said terrible, terrible things about. And he said, basically nothing. And then I've got went on to say more and more, more terrible things. And I see Chris and I do my,

what's going on? Hi, good to meet you. And I see like, I don't know, I don't really remember, but I do my, when I shake guys hands, I like to frisk them down. I'm one of those handshakers. Yeah, you know what I mean? Okay, can you see that? Yeah, some guys will do a weird thing

where they try to tickle your palm. Some guys give like a really limp. Oh, the dead fish. The dead fish. Yeah. But I'm a frisker. I shake your hand and then I grab your arm and I pull you in and patch you down

and see if you got any goofy shit in there. You got any fucking goofy stuff in here? How about the guys who close too early? They grab your fingers? That's the only one that, I mean, well, as a man, the dead fish really offend, I'm like, what do you want me to kiss your fucking hand? What is this?

What is it? What do you want me to do with Disney princess? Yeah, yeah. Who's hand? Are you shaking at all? What the hell, sir? What do you have some kind of, do you just have some kind of electrical impulse

shoot down your arm and plinch your fingers? Like as soon as. You got like the last inch of my fit. What the fuck are you doing? You fucked me out of my handshake by squeezing too early either, either in excitement or in an attempt to show dominance. And it pissed me off. He's the one.

Yeah, he's pissed me off. He's pissed me off. Yes. You've got to, you got to wait till you get all the way in like a lesbian, scissorsing. Right. And you got to wait to feel that hot pussy on pussy action of the thumb and the index finger before you,

and then you fuck hard. Then you fuck hard. Yeah. Like lesbians do. But then I go in, some people do the politician handshake with a reach in with the other hand and grab the arm. Yeah, oh yeah, sure. I do a cop handshake. Yeah, I go that and then I do that. And once I've got their arm the other hand and grab the arm. Yeah, oh yeah, sure. I do a cop handshake.

Yeah, I go that and then I do that and once I've got their arm then I go for the chest. Right. So you got anything in here. I'm mumbling the Miranda rights. And I'll spin them around. Yeah, you got the right to remain silent. Chris Reagan. So I feel guilty obviously because I've said horrible things to a person who's right in front

of me seems like a nice guy. I said, oh, how are you doing? It's good to see. It's right in front of me, sounds like a nice guy. I said, oh, how you doing? It's good to see, it's good to see you. He goes, oh, is Maddox here? I said, I think I said, I heard Maddox was gonna be here, something like that, because he knew he was with him that day. Where should I post up so that he has this time

ruined immediately when he said, coming through the door? He said to me, yeah, I tried to get him to come, but I think he heard you were gonna be here. He said, I love you. I immediately, I like what you're saying, and I like the way you said it. Yeah.

I love everything about that. Thank you for doing that for me. Thank you for doing that for everyone, for all of us, that's the most anyone can expect. And then, a little time later, and this is why I wanted to talk to Domey Pace House. More people show up and there's a little murmur going around. And Billy, the fridge comes over to me because, oh, mundane mats here.

Oh, wonderful. Good. Good. Good, good, good. So, indeed, I can, I can smell indeed, I can smell the pizza. Right. I can, you know, I know he's there. Right. Let me get Dami Paisos in. Hey, Dami Paisos, you there. Yeah. Yeah. My name is Matt. Yes. My name is there. And now, you know, men no matter what, revert back to the very boyish childhood nature of,

and this is a, this is a house full of shitters, of bullshitters and shits, right? So they're like, oh God, yeah, this is gonna be funny. This is gonna be good. So I said, okay, hold on, I'm gonna hide, and I'm gonna surprise him. I'm gonna hide. Have you met him? Monday and Matt? Yeah, no, hold on, hold on, I'm gonna hide, and I'm gonna surprise him. I'm gonna hide. Have you met him?

Monday and Matt? Yeah, no, never in person. Okay. I mean, this was the guy who was first out on the scene with a video saying that I deserve to have my Patreon removed and that Maddox wouldn't be suing unless they're- I get to buy you. Yeah, and can get fired.

I always forget. There's immediate take. I always forget who's done what? Mm-hmm. And then an advertising or a marketing magazine took his video and put it in their article. I sure, yeah. Well, this is kind of a long way to go.

This is kind of a big hill that I've gotten front of me. You've got this fat fuck right out of the gate who's a hundred percent sure that I'm guilty of God knows what for secret shit that he was told By Matt by George and then an industry magazine running with it I have to mark my fucking way out of this one Welcome to journalism 21st century so I'm thinking of what to say right as I go because I don't want to be confrontational

You know, I don't want to fuck up the party. This guy has, yeah, I've been a fuck up. I walked up and I punched him so hard that his shitty beard came off on my hand. And then I did my hand as I'm a soy filled bitch because it had Matt's beard stuck on my hand. And it was that fatality across the, it was just stuck to his face with mozzarella cheese. Yeah, it turned, it was somebody else's beard to begin with.

It turned out it was just drawn, and one day Matt drew his own beard on, and it came off, and then he was like, oh, I've been found out and he ran off crying. Yeah, you know. So I commit to it, I circle around in the kitchen, you know. Dee, Dee, Dee, Dee, Dee, Dee, Dee. And I'm channeling dummy pesos. And I feel like I'm sniper crawling through the tall grass. Except also a little girl. kitchen, you know, D-D-D-D-D-D-D dummy pesos. Right. That would not honor dummy pesos. The laughter would die. That would be it. Yeah. Yeah. And my penis would, yeah, my penis would shrink three sizes that day.

If I've pulled something like that. So I'm sneaking over there. I'm sneaking over there behind them. I see him. I peek my head out, you know. And it takes a long ways because I have such a big forehead before my eyes get there. So it's good. It's like watching a docks and walk around the corner in a cartoon. Yeah, right? And like it takes a year.

You're like, where the hell's this back end? It just keeps going around the corner. Keep it. Why is that giant penis peeking out from around? Oh, it's a guy's face. So I peek my head out around the corner and I see that he has his back turned to me. Monday and Matt does as he's talking to a guy.

But other people see you. First of all, he is a, he is a, he is fatter in person. Oh wow. Then he, oh God. So the camera, camera makes you lose 10 pounds. He looked, Monday Matt looks like a tire made out of flesh from the back. Oh God. He looks like, you know, the aliens at the beginning of the fifth element, how they're just like an entire

egg-shaped body and their heads stick out like a probe like from the front of their, where their heads should be. Yeah. He meant that's what Monday, Matt looks like except with fat and flesh. Jesus. He looks like a knock off transformer. You know how they don't really,

like don't have that many moving pieces? Yeah. Worse. Yeah. So really, like I don't have that many movie pieces. Yeah, worse. Yeah. So I, he looks like a fake tit. Like it's just wrapped up in a layer. If he says he has a gym membership on his videos, but I said that. I believe he has said.

He did. And then he wasn't an idiot. Oh. Oh. He's not a, okay. To apologize to us for flagging us, He did. And then he was on a diet. Oh, he's. Okay. To apologize to us for flagging us, he said he was going to go on a diet and eat healthy like a year ago. I think he's been eating healthy twice a day then because it hasn't been working.

Healthy appetite. He looks like a human that's wearing a hot dog bun. Oh, God. It looks like he's wearing one of those sumo suits, just all the time. So I walk up and I walk up behind him and he can up, and he's talking to this guy, and then I see Billy the fridge is over there,

and Billy the fridge goes, and I was like, pizza or something like that. And I was kind of looking, and I'm like, okay, what do I say? What do I say? What do I say? I was waiting for, you know, a waiting for sign from God,

or so the other guy, something like that. And the guy he's talking to, he's a hell of a sport. Andrew, I think his name was, does not notice, there are notices that I'm there and just decides not to call me out. Yeah, which is unbelievable. Right. And he starts listing creators or creators online

that he's a fan of, the guy that Matt's talking to, he's like, oh yeah, this guy and this guy, and I said, hey, and don't forget, Domé Pesos, he's my favorite online creator. Nice and slow. No, it's dick masters saying how much he loves. No, I'm not a fucking. No, I'm not a fucking.

No, I'm not a fucking. And I do, and then I do my frisk pat down, you know, what's up Matt? How you doing Matt? And he goes, oh, he looks at me like, if you've ever had like a little dog, how when the little dog is pissed, like they give you that shitty look, like,

and he goes, yeah, I heard you were here. I heard you were here. Oh, okay, that's, well, now you've confirmed that. Yeah, the vocal equivalent of shitting your pants right in front of me. Oh, you heard it? Oh, you. That's the, well, now you've confirmed that. Yeah. The vocal equivalent of shitting your pants right in front of me. Oh, you heard, I heard I was here. Okay.

Well, it's a, it's a truce, truce for now. Truce, truce for now. This is like a church. All right. I'm not going to cause any kind of scenes here being an asshole. Like, right, I think that was enough.

And so I go away. And a little while later, a little while later he's talking to Izzy about something. I walk up and a little while later, a little while later he's talking to Izzy about something I walk up and talk to. I get the feeling like he's gonna leave and I just wanna kind of say goodbye or whatever. Yeah. And I go up and I say, yeah, I think that you got used

by Maddox too quite honestly. Like I think he knew that you would run with a story and he fucked you. He made you look like an idiot by just giving you information that is obviously not true, you know now. Yeah. Yeah, it's been decided in the courts. Yeah.

He said, yeah. Yeah. But this is the conversation that I wanted. It's in private. Well, yeah, you want this conversation because I'm not, it's totally dishonest. Like, I'm not telling you what I think of you. I'm just behaving in a well-mannered way to not disturb the party that's going,

like, you need this network of people to prohibit you from getting called out for shit. I know why you wanted a private conversation, because you're the kind of person who needs that. Like, you need to be able to fuck up and then disappear in like a mob of manners. So it's like, okay, well, you know, all right, that's fine. See you later. Yeah.

And a short time later, he's leaving the party and he's, and I'm talking to a bunch of people. I'm probably six, seven beers in now. No, Maddox. I guess Maddox missed his boss or something. Maybe his maybe wasn't a convenient forum for him or maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, and I wasn't a convenient forum for him. He was a no show. He was like a New York Vidcon or whatever. Yeah. He was, he was wrapping up so many things.

He probably had so many other things in his plate. He didn't show up though, which is wrapping up means like ubering home from something. Such a colossal bitch. But, but it was, I mean, the best feeling is, okay, Manics, you thought you would come into my world and fuck it up. Yeah. Right? No, I do everybody. Now I'm going to come into your world and fuck around with, with both hot dog eating contests

and other types of bullshit, frisking guys with Pat down, right? Anyway, Monday Matt's leaving and he pauses by the door as he's leaving. I was kind of clowning on him. We would pass, I was talking to these girls, YouTube girls and he'd pass and he's like, oh Monday, this is Monday Matt, big YouTube guys

to our Monday Matt, Monday Matt, do you have any advice for these young girls? They're just starting their channel. And he said, yeah, I just don't do anything that I did. I walked away. Oh no shit. So he knows he fucked up. Because he's walking out, he goes, okay, he looks at me. And he's got this fucking look on his face

that I find just so annoying. When he's talking to me, as he's, and before when he's talking to me. It's this like, as he's, and before, when I was talking to him and is he talking about how he doesn't have time for bullshit and he's got a kid now and another one on the way. So he's got a, really, that's what matters to him. Oh, this, I'm like, dude, you're a fuck you, are you a,

are you a fucking dun, so get a real job then, you stupid idiot. What are you talking about? You've got to worry about your kid now. You're a laughing stock at what you do. You're a fucking joke. Other, other spheres use you. You, as a joke in their own sphere is what you're known for.

Your hot takes are tepid. Your, uh, lukewarm hot takes. At best you wouldn't, I'm not even, you would eat these hot takes. At best, you wouldn't, I'm not even you would eat these hot tags at the temperature there at. Oh boy. So he's leaving and he goes, he looks at me from across the kitchen.

I'm talking to multiple people holding court. Yes. And he goes, oh, so are we cool now? Oh, disgusting. What I'm all see. Right. Yeah. Like, baby, you please What I almost say. Right? Yeah. Like baby, please don't be funny anymore. We cool now.

Like I said, no. No. Yeah. What do you mean? Nothing changed. Nothing changes. I'm behaving like this to not fuck up the party. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sure. You're still an idiot. Everything that you do is wrong You constantly fuck up you are not sorry you were not never sorry You're only sorry because you got caught and you will do it again You're fucked you're a fucking idiot. What do you mean are we cool now? Of course not you can't unwind this shit you fat moron Or I mean at least at least give me the please stop making fun of me

Please stop making fun of me. Please tell Ralph to stop making fun of me Please tell Dome pesos to stop making fun of me. Not are we cool? Are we cool? Yeah, no because we saw each other. Yeah, basically fuck you roll down the street mad I'm not fucking cool. I hate when guys do that. So after a little bit of nipple rubbery. So bro, are we cool now? What do you mean? I was never there is no there is no benefit my way Yeah, I'm not worried about anything this cost me nothing I only take pleasure in mocking you and so does everyone else. You colossally diluted nitwit. How do you not see it like that?

We cool now. Oh God. The number of guys who have put out there who have done that to me. So are we cool now and stuck out their hand as if to shake it and then I have just left hanging. It could fill in in time, but it is such a pathetic display. It is such a pathetic display of the fragile male ego. I cannot get over it every time. I save it at night as I go to sleep. It's your pizza.

It's my pizza, and I ate my fill. So, dummy, I wanted to tell you that story because I thought you'd enjoy it. Yeah, it was great. Are we cool now? Yeah. But I'm proud to be in his video, man, they mad was like, I talked to some people on the industry, and they got to study.

See, he did something horrible to my friend, my dog. Yeah. But just recently, no, that was his first time. Yeah, we called, we called. Yeah. Are we cool? No, get the fuck out of here. I'll give you a head start, fatso,

and then I'm gonna chase, and then I'll, I'm gonna taunt you a second time. Yeah, follow the trail of melting cheese as he runs away from the scene. All right, get out of here. Meaking jelly. Get out of here, drama. Thanks for having me.

Yeah, wait, do you want to plug your website? Actually, I have a friend. I have a friend that is on Twitter. Oh, good. My favorite friend. Okay, really? It's like a band. So I need my friend.

It's called Dame Gator at Dame Gator. At Dame called Tammy Gator at Tammy Gator. Tammy Gator. Okay, that's your friend. I assume he's a round. It's me. Gator. It's Gator. And now I am Gator. I mean, my friend. My friend is Gator. Yes. Okay. All right. Do you have any other websites you want to plug? Or we can see your video content? Yes. Go to mandai mat. It's a fatfagget.com. Oh, it's my website. You will receive a really high. I can't remember it. All right. All right.

That is so funny to me. It's so funny. It's funny. Okay, that was that. Let's see if I got anything else to rage about today. And then I see Mumpke's on a, oh God! He's there? He's there! Mumpke's there! I'm gonna, all right, I gotta talk about something that makes me rage before I get to Mumpke. But I really wanna talk to him.

My split trash can, you split, you know what, even more than that, 80s girl deleted her iTunes account, deleted it. Okay. I didn't know this was possible to do, but I guess she got panicked or something, she was trying to do something for work

and like log out of the account, but she ended up going through the steps. You'd think there'd be quite a few steps. So you remember how we were talking about the location tracker on the iPhone? Yeah. Last week or something like that. I noticed suspiciously that her location tracker was shut off.

Oh, I see. I thought, oh, does this, probably she's cheating on me then. Definitely, right? Cause like, if I can't track her every move, then I assume she's just getting railed. But always assume the worst, always assume, especially when it comes to women. So I finally, I finally broke down and I hate, I hate to, I hate asking people obnoxious questions that they're not immediately going to do something with the information. That's my bar for fucking with people that I learned from hanging around my family for three days in Nebraska, that I have become such a sarcastic asshole and I turned into this

because if people ask me a question and I don't see how they're going to immediately use that information, I will give them bogus information. That is my, I feel like I have been aggrieved by the question, like it is turning me into an entertainment product, with them asking me things to satisfy just curiosity. Yeah. So that's how I finally identified why it annoys me so much,

and I've seen that through my whole life, I've just used these as opportunities to be a smart ass and develop rapist-wit skills, right? Oh, yeah, yes, yes. And so I never want to bother people with curiosity questions. I'll just, you know, go look at some pornographies. I mean, I finally caved and asked her one day,

was I'm staring at the screen of where her location used to be. And you can see like, okay, do I need to start making food here? Do I have a little time to beat off before she gets home? Like what's going on? Finally, came to, hey, where are you? Your location thing has been off for two weeks now. Every time I look at it, I finally added it up. What's going on?

Did you piss at me? Did you shut it off? Like where's your location, shitting a zone? She says so. Oh, my battery dies it off? Like, where's your location, shitting us out? She says, oh. Oh, my battery dies. I deleted my, it's mine. I deleted my iTunes account. I deleted my Apple ID.

I said, what do you mean you, what the hell does that have to do with locations? It's right here. Because everything is connected to the ID. On the phone, everything is connected to the one ID, which means giving people permission to do shit. And I said, wait, wait, what? What do you mean you, what do you mean you deleted it?

Just add it back. Because I deleted the whole account and I'm, and she starts launching into this rapid succession of fixes and potential fixes that she's going to do. And I said, oh, okay. So this is, I see what's happened here, something I immediately know what's going on. So a decision was made in panic, and now, and now you've not told me about it for so long

that now it's hopelessly fucked, right? If you had just, you just had told me about this, when at the moment that it happened, this would be, you uh, as I get the story out, I'd, yeah, I've been on the phone for weeks with these people and this and I've been digging through the trash at work and I fucked up this computer. It's like, stop, stop, stop, stop. Don't do anything. Step away. Drop it. Yeah.

Drop it. It's still salvageable. And I went through the exhaustive process of trying to figure out exactly what the fuck happened to the account to get to reach a point of okay, okay, you really did fuck it up. You really did. Yeah. You got into a panic and you made a bunch of decisions in a row and you deleted your account with all of your apps and all of your songs and all like the account itself gone. Yeah. Untrans, locked, beyond repair, through the door, done, let me call them. No, I already called them. But I might ask different questions.

Let me just give me a little more information so that I could call them. No, I already called them twice. You got to understand. I just want to forget about it and move on. Yeah, I already got it. I already got a new email. I'm already, just backup off the ledge. And let me give it a shot.

I realize. What's the worst that can happen? Yeah. What's the worst that can happen? You're right. And I look stupid. I know that's not what you're worried about, right? Hmm. So I call in. I call in's not what you're worried about, right?

So I call in. I call in and say, hey, how you doing? Nice lady, and she says, phone. So what can we do for you? I say, well, I mean, it's not what you can do for me. It's what you can do for my kid. And I'm calling on the way to a bike's store. And she looks at, she's like, what?

Yeah, already, already we've breached your expertise. I assume you tried everything. I assume you tried the ways that everyone would try. By the time the problem gets to me, it's time, the first step is unorthodoxy. Yeah, okay. Right. Don't worry. I'm sure you're right.

That's great. Just by my kid, she's already like, like oh she didn't know what she was doing So I said well as it turns out my son Has deleted my son my son has deleted my girlfriend's Appliedy okay And if it can't be recovered. I'm gonna I'm gonna have to murder him oh So is that something you think you could help me with? It goes, ooh.

Ooh, that sounds bad. That sounds bad. Okay, well let me see if I can help. A series of half hour later. His blood is on your hands. His blood is on your hands. Half hour later, we can move up through the ranks towards the various managers and home ever.

Yeah, sure. I finally get to a guy and he goes, oh, no, there's just no way. There's just no way we can bring it back. It's gone unless you have a, unless you have this code that was written down to delete, it took verify that you want, there's just no way I'm afraid. And I put the fence like,

you had a code that you wrote down to her and she goes, yeah, but I threw it away. You didn't, okay. Why was this done by the way? I said, oh, yeah, I said, yeah, I don't know. No one knows. I said, I find it hard to believe. I say, I'm an engineer, I find it hard to believe that you don't have the ability to just reactivate this in some kind of way, to prove that the account is owned,

et cetera, et cetera, right? It was, oh, well, only in cases of, that's a separate team, only in cases of fraud. We do that. Fraud are incest. Those are the only times that we... Exactly. Special circumstances. Exactly.

I said, wow, what a, what an amazing... Special kind of victim, yeah. What an amazing coincidence that this was for surely you'll agree that my son doing this is, is, is count is fraud. It wasn't his account. Yeah, I'm not calling the FBI on him, but clearly this satisfies any kind of criteria for computer hackery and malicious.

And he goes, yeah, you know what? Do you think you can, do you think you can unscramble it? Do you think you can unscramble this? He goes, oh, you know what, I'm gonna have to fill out a form. I guess. Oh, no. Oh, God, God, okay, thank you. Cops and paperwork.

Fills out a form, I shit you not within an hour. Within an hour, it's reopened. Wow. Everything back to normal. And this is, and I'm sitting there and she's like, you're never gonna believe this. Oh yeah? Oh, I bet I will.

I bet I will. I bet I fucking will because I've been working on this unfixable problem for an hour. So I'm, I have high expectations of my results versus two, three weeks or however long you've been secretly shoveling the evidence of this under the carpet, wondering when you're gonna have to come clean on it.

Yes. But the simple, the simple lie, the simple construction of lies to navigate a system that is, that is completely obscured to the normal honest person, is what drove me so inside, like you go search for this problem and it's just hundreds,

oh, thousands of people with this problem, all you have to do is follow the script. Yeah. It's what drove me insane. All you have to do, it's just a series of lies to get you what you want. And I guess the reason that it, I thought it was relevant to the show at all is because of that kid, that millennial who called in a couple weeks ago, saying that manipulating people is not an important skill. It is the massive important skill.

So that made me a rage. You got it done. Said what did we learn today? Just come to me. Are we hiding problems now in the future? The split trash can though. I got some. The split trash can. I got a trash can. You mean like a recycle side and like a trash side? Yeah. I hate that. The recycle side is so skinny. I hate that so much. You can

get about six cans in there before it's completely fucked. Every couple days, I'm taking out a, what is a designer, Amazon trash bag full of about a five pack of soda cans and one milk carton. The trash itself is extremely small because a third of it is taken over by the completely worthless. So it does neither thing well. It does neither thing well, but I don't wanna have a bag of soda cans in the garage leaking syrup everywhere.

Because I can't just combine them. I can't just have it all in one place, like I should be able to. I brought in some stats on global warming, I guess, and that was my dumbstack way to talk about it. Because I see a future now that we can't have plastic bags anymore, now that they're 10 cents a pop or whatever. Now they just take charge for everything.

Now that they ruin those for no reason, we've ruined plastic straws, turn them into paper. I saw an article today, those are awful. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's paper str- if it's in there for longer than two minutes, all of a sudden it starts tasting cardboard. You're just drinking paper.

It's disgusting. All over your tongue, or you're putting it at the tip of your mouth to suck it in so it doesn't touch your tongue. But then it feels like you're sucking a little tiny paper cock because you're putting it at the tip of your mouth to suck it in so it doesn't touch your tongue. But then it feels like you're sucking a little tiny paper cock because you're just kissing the tip of it. Or I saw this the other week. Metal straws, which was the most disgusting. Oh, you're gonna taste a metal in your, no.

Taste of metal and I know for a fact nobody is cleaning this metal straw. This is, this is an outbreak waiting to happen. I woke up today and I saw an article called The Average American uses three rolls of toilet paper each week and it's devastating forests. And I thought there is a very real future where we are going to be wiping our, there will be a movement to wipe your ass with your hands. Oh, there'll definitely be a movement. There's going to be a challenge when you take a shit,

like Middle Eastern, some Middle Eastern countries. Yeah, when you take a shit, use one piece, one square of, it'll be the none square challenge. No doubt. That you will be, that will be pushed on television, on the radio, George Clooney is gonna be reading through dentures about how if you wanna save the planet, you should use one square of toilet paper.

And they'll sell it in little tiny packs, little tiny packs like travel tissues. Remember like the tiny little Kleenex packets in the, but in like the plastic wrap. Yeah. Do you remember that? They were, they were literally about four inches wide and about two and a half inches tall. Yeah. Um, so here's, here were some of the stats I brought in. Interesting study on zero hedge. Saying man-made climate change doesn't exist in practice. What's new scientific study? What's zero hedge?

Zero hedge is a, it's like a, it's a, all they post is stuff about like data-driven studies, usually financial, usually financial, but they always relate to like big scale data and stuff like that. They didn't do the study, this is a study that they're posting. That's where I found it. Scientists in Finland found practically no anthropogenic, do I say that right?

Yeah, anthropogenic climate change after serious studies. During the last 100 years, the temperature increased from about 0.1 Celsius because of carbon dioxide. The human contribution was about 0.01. The Finnish researchers bluntly, the human contribution was about .01. The Finnish researchers, bluntly, the Finnish researchers bluntly stayed among a series of papers. This has been collaborated by a team at Kobe University in Japan, which has furthered the Finnish research laboratory.

They collaborated with them. Yeah. New evidence suggests that high energy particles from space, on his cosmic rays affect Earth's climate by increasing cloud cover, causing an umbrella effect. This just published study is found in summary, which has been released in the journal Science Daily. The findings are hugely significant, given this umbrella effect and entirely a natural occurrence.

It could be the prime driver of climate warning and not man-made factors. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't know if it's interesting to you, go and read it, but I'm looking at a world drinking out of unwashed metal straws and using your, you can either live in this world or the one where you're wiping your ass with one sheet of toilet paper to stop climate change.

Here was the other one they read. Let me get it. Nearly, here was a survey that they did on climate change people. Nearly 70% of Americans want the US to take aggressive action to combat climate change. 70%. Yeah, it's a lot. But America has taken a lot of action. That's not enough. But I think they want America to tell rapidly industrializing nations what to do.

That's generous. But here's the other side of the coin. Only 34% would support an extra tax of $100 a year to help. And only 30% said they would be willing to trade in their car for an electric vehicle. Yeah, $100. Yeah. Oh, I'm not surprised by that.

That's it. It's like a lot of, you know, a lot of Christians want to tell other people what to do. I don't want to do it themselves, but, you know, a lot of, a lot of Christians want to tell other people what to do. I don't want to do it themselves, but, you know. $100. You should be doing this. Oh, you, they should take aggressive action. How much are you willing to contribute?

Ooh, not a hundred bucks? No. There's also a thing like, you know what? I don't have to do it because a lot of other people will. And they all say that and nobody does it. Well, that was, I think that is why I hate it so much because if that many people want it, but they're not willing to spend even $100,

that means they're just gonna keep fucking things up. Well, sure, that's, that's, nobody wants change. Well, they do, they just don't wanna pay for it. Well, they don't want their life to change. Yeah, that's the thing. I mean, it didn't exist before, you know, the $100. I don't want to just pay $100. It's like just, I don't know.

I don't see them. Make every, I'll pay it, but only if everyone does it. I'll shit less, but only if there's a law that makes everyone shit less. Yeah. That's what I want. I want change, but I want everyone to have to do it. There's a law that makes everyone shit less. That's what I want. I want change, but I want everyone to have to do it and I don't wanna pay anything for it to happen.

As such, I'm annoying. Those, whoever those 36% of people are, I think we could do a lot more for the environment if we just shoved them into the fucking ocean or use them for fuel. The people who... I'm not going to wipe my ass with trees anymore. We're wiping, I'm wiping my ass with you.

If you're one of the people, the 36% of people, the 70% who said they want change, but then did said they wouldn't pay $100 for it. It's $100 and a half. Don't worry. I'll call you, give me your number. I'll text you every time I shit, and you can come over and wipe it off with your fucking hand so I don't have to use any of your precious paper anymore.

Which is made out of brand new trees anyway that they gross specifically to make per-duyla paper. Is that right? Yeah, they don't use, they don't use the general Sherman to make toilet paper, they use saplings. Yeah, because it's not going to build a house either. You know what I mean? Yeah, of course, I don't think you care about the quality of tree.

You're not, like you said, you're not cutting down house building trees. And then I'm reading in the same article, oh, it's not efficient to recycle it. Like, who is this? I was, yeah, I was going to ask that. Of course, it's not. It's covered in shit. Yeah, well, it's funny.

I have seen on dirty jobs as a matter of fact, how some of the stuff, no, not the shit things, but it's kind of amazing what they do to get like paper cleaned. There's a lot of processes to mess. It is, it's in. It's, well, but it's very, it seems very labor and time and resource intensive

to recycle a lot of things like paper. Yeah, I think it's only aluminum steel and some other thing are. I knew aluminum was sufficient. Yeah. Only, I got some more stats. I know it's quick like the stats. So I always read the stats.

It's quick. Yeah. He's the one who got John McAfee to call him. Oh cool. According to the poll, 69% of Americans, including 56% of Republicans and 71% of Independents believe the United States take aggressive action.

Yeah. More than half of Americans either strongly or somewhat support the idea of weaning the US off fossil fuels within 10 years, but won't pay $100. Let's just, yeah. That needs to follow every single strongly believe, but won't pay $100.

Like, have you ever strongly believe something that you won't pay $100 for? I strongly believe I should have a switch. So I strongly believe I should have an Oculus Quest. That's strongly believed. But would you pay for it? They really need to rent, rank the amount of money you care about this Quest. That's strongly believed. Yeah, but would you pay for it? They really need to rent, rank the amount of money you care about this issue.

Oh, five bucks. I thought so. That's the voting with your pocketbook thing. I mean, it's just, you know, what do you really think? Is it that important to you? And most people go, fuck no, man, I got the world is changing enough.

I got enough shit coming at me. Just let me have a solid a base as I can. I need a, I need a lufu to wipe my ass. I need to put a, I need to put a pound. I use half of a roll on the first wipe and I use the remainder on the second one. Yeah. And that's with a bidet.

Yeah. John, yeah. I need it. Yeah. I need that toilet paper. 34, only 34% they would be, said they would be very likely or somewhat likely to pay an extra $100 a year in taxes to help.

Well, and let's not forget the liars because is that not the easiest thing to lie about? Yeah. I mean, you know the percentage is smaller than that. Some of those people are like, it's not like the people from the other camp are gonna go, oh, you know the percentage is smaller than that. Some of those people are like, it's not like the people from the other camp are gonna go, oh, you know what? Now that I've thought about it,

yeah, I totally pay $100. It's like, no, they said no right up front. These people are like, I don't want to, but I know that's the right answer. I know it's going in a survey. So yeah, definitely. Yeah. Including 25% of Republicans and 33% of independents.

What the fuck do they think's gonna happen with $100? Can't do anything with $100. Results will be similar, 38%, 38% said they would be likely to help by carpooling or using public transport. Well, then fucking do it. What do you mean? You can do that now. You can do it.

You can already do that. Be like Matt, be like George. Give up your car. Okay. I thought that one was especially funny. The $100 money is the one where it's taking place. I love the ones where you can contrast the issue versus when you get down to the nitty gritty. Those are always interesting.

Because it just tells you a lot about people. Well, every time the abortion issue comes up, I always wish we lived in a world where you could just like take out a fetus and put it in a guy. Like, okay, you really are against it. Why don't you just carry the fetus term then? Fuck up your body, like, oh, well. Yeah. I wonder how many of them would volunteer

for something like that. Not 100%, not 100%. And I don't think they would be as sure of their convictions of that with the case. Well, again, it's really easy to tell someone else what to do. Yeah. Okay, let's get my opinion here.

Okay. I think that better not be, that fucking better not be Cameron. It is. It is. It is. It is. What, an imposter?

Yeah. Yeah. Is this Cameron? No. Who's this? No, it's Mad Cat. Oh, it is. I'm a cat.

What's up? Are you talking about James Bond? Yeah. What's, oh me. Okay. So what's up? What you talking about James Bond? Yeah. What's their? Oh, yeah. Let's talk about James Bond. Why? Because a black woman, a fucking recasting James Bond is a black woman.

And they're writing, they're writing this Art of Rivers, New York Post article about it today. And there's a quote in here. It's a popcorn dropping moment. Bond is still bond, but he's been replaced as double o seven by the stunning woman the source of the mail that's not really a popcorn moment being the fact you fucking posted as an article now well where the fact i'm walking in this new james bond movie and some point

near the end he's gonna retire and this new woman's gonna be james bond for absolutely no fucking reason no i think it'll be i think it'll be, I think it'll be different. Shanequabond. Okay, Janequabond. Is this the pandering just not, it's so infuriating. I don't see how more people are not outraged

about the obvious pandering. People are not cynical enough. It's, dude, they're just doping you into parting with your, I want to do with your. Farrakhan to get on his program and go, fuck the new black James Bond, fuck that, right? Yeah. Fuck that shit. Yeah, you're all suckers.

What I don't understand about it is they've done this movie like five times. It is Seriana, Lucy, Atomic Bond, like they've done the woman James Bond movie and every time they don't make any money because fundamentally the male fantasy and the female fantasy are not compatible. The male fantasy is James Bond where you walk in there and you look swavish shit and you meet this like super hot foreign woman and you immediately take her to bed and then when you color, you immediately take her to bed. And then when you're a killer, you are responsible for her death.

Yeah, or you punch him until he's dead and the problem goes away versus, so a couple months ago, I did this show Waitress, which is based on a movie, which is based on a book. I don't know, it's a fucking, it's a woman show. Which is based on a Waitress. The plot of this movie musical is that she,

the woman has an abusive husband, and her plan to get out from under her husband is to bake pies. Yeah. And then he tells her you can't bake pies, so she doesn't. Yeah. And then she has a baby,

and then a man dies at least for $750,000 and all of her problems are solved. The woman's fantasy is that someone a man just gonna come in there and just solve all her problems magically. All these problems are magically solved. You're welcome. She doesn't want to punch her problems into oblivion. No, I don't even, I don't get the, like I think the people fucking with James Bond fundamentally don't understand that James Bond is think the people fucking with James Bond fundamentally don't understand

that James Bond is everything that's wrong with men. Like he's, he's totally fucked up. He has more alcohol in him than blood. Uh, yeah. He is, like he only, he only functions in movies and putting any other, making James Bond black is, is fucked first of all, because those, all of those psychotic self-loathing, uh, dysfunctions that James Bond black is is fucked first of all because those all of those psychotic self-loathing dysfunctions that James Bond has First of all would manifest in completely different ways secondly you can't have a James Bond going through an adventure

Getting mistaken for a valet every time he goes into an expensive resort Like you think a black James Bond is going to get through security even one time without an incident? Yeah, no because of racism like you can't you cannot have this movie secondly I'm what it be the same and in England Yes, one point they talked about casting Idris Elba to be James Bond. Yeah, I heard that he's a great actor Like I would be against him as there but not if it's's just pandering, not if they're gonna, because they're gonna spend the whole press pandering. I promise you, padding themselves on the back about how they've got a new black James Bond. Yeah. They're not making this new Charlie's Angels.

They're not making one of those Charlie, one of the angels a man. My, it is, it is when it becomes a woman. Like, here's my problem is that the James Bond the character is so fucked up and such a fundamentally bad person that he is indistinguishable from the villains except that he happens to work for the government. That's it. That's like pretty much true, yeah. That's the whole point.

Every villain in James Bond tells him that to his face, you and I are no different. You and I are no different. We both want to leverage power to satisfy these sick cravings that we have in our head. James Bond happened to work for the government. He's supposed to be really close. We're supposed to save chicks.

Yeah, the male power fantasy of banging unlimited number of sexy women drinking until you are dead, but still waking up every night. And then, and then the women that you fuck getting murdered immediately, so I need to deal with them anymore. That is the derangement of that is the derangement is mine. Putting a woman into it, not only will she be perfect, great at everything, great at everything, but morally incorruptible. Yeah. Like now, now you've just got a cup. Like now you've just got an actual spy, like now now you've just got a cup like now you've just got an actual spy which now I really hate her You know what I mean? Well, like now you've got someone that's just working for the government. I fucking hate the government

Simplify it even more. It's just it's not James Bond That's it's just not James Bond. It's yeah But you you want to capitalize on the James Bond franchise. Yeah. So you're going to make a totally different movie with a totally different female spy, but you're going to call it James Bond. Yeah. You make, make a movie, call it whatever you want, put this lady in it, whatever. I probably not going to see it. That's fine. Make a new character. But to just like take this existing character, character has been around for over 50 years now, 25 movies, and just throw all that shit in the trash so that you can do this like weird politics thing. And the truth is they want to

make money because they want to make money. That's why they're calling it a misbond. That's the thing. They don't make money. All this fucking pandering to go what go woke get broke like Ghostbusters 3. Yeah, we've seen it happen over and over and over again. You do these fucking generous lot movies and they fail. Yes, but there's new Terminator movie fail. Yeah. And but they will make more they will make more than if it was not attached to the bond franchise. Well, you know, you know what, I think it's still fail, but yeah, I think they're testing the waters. Like I think he'll come back for I think he'll come back for,

I think he'll come into the movie and he's retired. He's not James Bond anymore. And she'll have been sassy James Bond and they'll need him back or she'll get killed or just something like that. It is, hopefully. Yeah, hopefully. I just saw Toy Story 4, too, and I saw the,

because they made boat peep the hero. Well, yeah, but she's not, isn't a hero? She's just powerful. Like she never does, she never puts herself out there at the risk of, at the risk of herself. Wasn't for other people. Gone people. Gone people.

Yeah, they just forgot about her, I think. But they made this whole movie better. Woody is, Woody is a stupid retard who just runs around like he's thinking with his dick. Like Woody is a hysterical, menopausal woman who has forgotten how to plan. Like Woody's thing was that he plans and is a leader. Now, yeah, he's rational.

A hysterical woman who saw it. I saw it last night. It was, we both hated it. Buzz Lightyear has autism. He doesn it. Buzz Lightyear has autism. Buzz Lightyear has forgotten. He's no longer a character. He's just a walking punchline. And the thing that made me the most the most annoyed at the bow peep character is that she hasn't changed at all. Yeah. Like there's no there's no character. They just do the same thing the whole time. And then there's no bad guy. The bad guy is totally relatable.

Alie anyway. All right, Mad Cux. Thank you for warning me about Mumpke. I'm not having, I'm not letting Cameron on. Damn it. You're welcome. I'm going to tweet at Mumpke right now. I'm pissed about these James Bond movies.

I think you did your right. I think they're going to, they'll be a swing back and it'll go back to being a man. Like this will get one movie and it'll fail, but it'll always be part of the canon of James Bond. And it'll be one of those things where you can look at the old James Bond movies and they're like a slice of life of what like our fears were when all the bad guys

are rushing, et cetera. And this will be a slice of when we thought that pandering and identity politics were so important that they need to be in James Bond for no reason. Yeah, I think it will just be a commercial. Like it will be just that scene to get to make waves on social media, whatever. I don't think they're going to run with it for it. It'll be like the hair.

I don't think they can if they want to continue making money with the franchise. No, it'll be like the Harriet Tubman 20. Whatever happened to that. Oh, wow. Yeah, the right. Well, Trump banned that. That's a crime against humanity. He said he should be impeached for getting rid of the Tubbs.

I was looking forward to throwing it into the $20 bill. He did something that's worth impeaching. I'm shooting on that conversation too. Shooting on cryptocurrency. Oh, after the CERNIVITION interview last week, so many people got out of that that somehow Trump of all people is involved or somehow culpable in the Epstein pedophile island shit involved. Yeah, the only Trump thing that I have from news is reporting. Yeah. Was that scene in reports is that that Jeffrey Epstein was friends with Trump. And yeah, they knew each other, but Trump banned Epstein from his resorts like 22 years

ago. Yeah. And some some specifically said, oh, yeah, it seems to me like he hangs around a lot of girls, a lot of them are young. Well, that's what he said, but it right out to be fair right after he said, great guy. So that's like, that's not fair. So that's what you say it properly. I suck cocks. And then you say what you need to say after to be fair. He said, he said, great guy. You like that, you like the two be fair?

How many? Yeah. Yeah. That's his stock and that's his normal thing. I'm going to say. He goes, oh yeah. I met a great guy. And I hear he likes women like even more than I do. And they're all very young. And he goes, and a lot right. Well, that's the telling comment, isn't it? Yeah, you like my Jimmy Fair? Yeah, I fucking, if God damn it, if Mumpki loses me 50 bucks, I'm gonna be so pissed off. Well, who do you owe it to?

In bed, anybody. Yeah, I did. Who, really? I bet a guy on Twitter that Mumpki would show up today. Oh, well, maybe he's shooting up a school right now. Oh, no. Elisian bit on something silly like eating your own book. Yeah, nice.

Well, I was good talking, man. Yeah, see you, Mad Cux. Thanks. See you guys later. Bye. That's tab. Oh, tab, sorry. I'm gonna play this on.

This is by, this is by Vizzy G. If I killed my show for you, I wonder what it could be about. Uh-huh. By now you know I did this, the blood is on my hands. I stare at my reflection, I don't know who I am. Practice my confession, but never took the stand. Heather's learned her lesson, will be a better man. I'm packing on my shirts and knives, biking y'all the halls. I'm going berserk, in bro. Just return my calls.

I didn't offer him, I felt nothing at all. I don't know what to say. So I'll ask Sean if he calls. Would you love me more if I killed my show for you? I'll be back. I told Ron go have a snooze. When I killed my show for you Or will it take to win?

Should I file another? Oh, I want to swim! I want to swim! But the brand name just a dude! If I kill my show for you! I hear the debtors coming! But, hey, he thinks I'm nice. I'm peddling around the city.

Finally, take him to the advice. I shore up at his bunker, bring him a tray of rice. I'll tell him that it's George, but he doesn't recognize. Can't you see I'm sorry. I just won't apologize. I gotta ask you something. Can you tell me where she lives? Just let me explain.

No, you're a weird-side creepy guy. I know you'll understand. If you let me stay the night. Would you love me more? Would you love me more? If I killed my show for you. Can I hold you for her? At least a show or two.

What a sicko. If I killed my show or two. Oh, that is sicko. If I kill my show for you. Well, let's take to start our whole friendship, a new. I kick Dracca out, Kaila Rodden, board an eth you. Some mother lose her dudes. When I kill my show for you You have to understand that the only one I hate is me George turning on my friends project my own insecurities

Dick I just wanted affection. I do anything you ask Sean. I hope I've learned my lesson Please download my new podcast. Hey,. Would you love me more? Love me more. If I killed my show for you, could I bring you snacks? Bring you snacks. I'll tell Rucker. Fuck you, Kude! When I killed my show for you! Kude! Oh my god. Uhhh, okay.

Well, let's hate to win, let's hate to win. Um, wow! I can't, you mother fucker. If you flake on me, wake up. Get your fucking ass out of bed. Oh, come on, Walter white. Get out of get your ass out of bed, Walt. Wake up, you fucker.

Get up, monkey. Get up. Get up you fucker! Get up, Monkey! Get up! Get up rock! You gotta keep fighting! Monkey! Wake up! Wakey wakey! Put down the pills and get on the fucking show!

Oh, Monkey, you bad, bad boy! You fuck, you bad, bad boy. You fuck, you bad, bad boy. His fiance messaged me. Yeah, she wanted to call in and gave her a link. She said, oh, I'm worried about calling in after. Mumpki's engaged to a woman who's, fucking 15 year olds, buying them video games and shit. a woman who's fucking 15 year olds

buying them video games and shit. Pumpkey cheated on his, Pumpkey cheated on his girlfriend with a fan. Fan turned out to be a, who's this fiance, the girlfriend? His current fiance is now the girl that he cheated with. Oh shit. Yeah, he immediately, it's gonna get, oh wow, okay.

Broke up with the X, broke up with the X, sound like she broke up with him, he cheated with. Oh, shit! Yeah, he immediately... It's gonna get... Oh, wow, okay. Broke up with the X, broke up with the X, sound like she broke up with him, he moved back to Iowa, and he proposed to the girl who's the furry cub porn, means child drawing, drawings of children, porn, animals, furry animal children, and uh, allegedly having an affair with the 15 year old, very, very wild, very wild stuff.

Wow. Yeah. Wow is right. Wow. Um, yeah, okay. I guess maybe he'll show, maybe he'll show up. I guess he's not showing up. Josh, no, is's here. You will Josh

Are you know I can't fucking believe it? I cannot fucking believe it No, I can't I knew it. I knew it. I knew who would not come come on especially after she deleted her Twitter I'm like oh, that's it. It's gone. My eyes. Oh stop being right. Yeah Stop seeing just the worst in people. It's your It's because you see it that they do these things. It's because you're manifesting it. Yeah, you're a man. Talk, go read the secret. Like, Munky, it changes like.

Yeah, good thing is, is it like the secret? Do I have that power where I can influence the world around me? I have some kind of metaphysical control over the, like the intentions of man. Yes, you can't say stuff that's obviously gonna happen. That's what makes it happen. Don't you know anything? You idiot. Yeah, the last message I got from Lou, the kiddie was,

is Munky still going on? And I said, I don't know. I thought you guys lived together. He fucking better be. That was Friday. And then she said, we do, but I don't think he's going on. I don't like, and did you talk to him?

After that? Or, okay, well, mother fucker. He knows, my advice to him, I was gonna leave this as an ending note on my stream that I did. Yeah. Where I was like, if you wanna fix yourself at this point, my advice would be,

go on a dick show and listen, do everything dick tells you to do. Just try that. It'll probably work. I cannot. I'm very disappointed. I saw your stream about him. It was beautiful. Everyone gave me lots of positive feedback on my stream. I'm quite flattered. I put a lot of effort into it. Something in my mind just snapped. And it's like, I have to talk about this fucking guy.

Because number one, he's going to kill himself and you can't do a stream after someone kills themselves because that's just painful. You got to get in on top. Yeah, all right. Exactly. So it's like, okay, it's like, I was doing a lot of shit. My fucking hardware being moved across the country.

Gotta set that shit up. Gotta fix some shit. Lots of things going on right now, but something happened with Mumkey. And I'm just thinking, I saw that fucking video he put out. And I'm just thinking I have to talk about this guy. And for like two days straight, I was talking to people and looking at videos and clipping shit and organizing

my thoughts. I have like three pages of notes and he made it some kind of like right before I announced the stream. He made some kind of tweet like I've just been out with my real friends in the real world. How many hours have you guys been picking about me? I saw a lot of butter. A lot. A lot. What do you yeah, you're the one comparing yourself to Walter White. You prick. What do you think? That was with the reference. I was like, wait, what?

Monkey made an hour video comparing himself to Walter White. That's the most. That's the most white, but specifically the part where Walter White relies, he's fucked up his life beyond all reason. Oh, okay. And he's going to die. That's that's the scene in particular he's referencing. Yeah. And it's so it's frustrating because you just want to shake him like Walter White committed several like felonies. He

would be going to jail for the rest of his life if you got caught. You have broken no laws. All it takes for you to un-fuck yourself. And it's to just stop making it worse. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's to stop talking about it. yourself. It's to just stop making it worse. Yeah, yeah. It's to stop talking about it. It's to realize. It's a thick and the ball-like one thing. It's like just put it down. Put it down. Put it down.

I'm doing stupid shit. Walk away. Let me take care of it. Just shut up and go to your room for a little bit and wash TV when you come out. I will have rewound time. Yeah. Well, it's not as fun if he's not here. I

wanted to congratulate him for his engagement because I'm sure no one else has. That's probably true. I know for a fucking fact they have and it's just hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. Oh, I wanted to say it was mumpki, congratulations on your engagement. You would think your beans are casting. I'm not. Congratulations for making that commitment to someone. This is the most sincere I've ever seen, Dick. The sincerity is leaking all out of his head right now.

But with that in mind. All over the table. Now that we're done with all the gay shit. Oh, oh no. Star. It's always a price to pay. Star running your business like a business. And not-

Somebody did watch the stream. Hahaha. That's, that was my second point. My second point was you wanna run a YouTube channel, you want a YouTube channel to pay your fucking bills. Surprise. It is now your business that you should be treating like a business. Not your personal soap, but to cry about your pedophile girlfriend ruin your fucking life. Yeah. I'm very, I'm very disappointed in him. I'm very disappointed in him. The people I talked to, they were all fans.

All the people making fun of them now, we're all big fans less than a year ago. And all that fucking goodwill is just gone. It like hemorrhaged out of them. Well, I think you said just stop making it worse. Just stop making it worse. People's attention spans are short. They'll be like, okay, whatever.

Just you need some perspective. It's how spans are short. They'll be like, okay, whatever, just you need some perspective. It's like all you have to do is say, well, okay, first of all, realize that the narrative arc you've introduced onto your channel, these are you and your crummy new fiance. A lot of people don't like this new character. Yeah. You've turned your life into narrative content

and they don't like the direction you've taken with it and they don't like your new character. It happens all the time. It's called feedback. Listen to it. It's very fun. I mean, I don't want to bring this up because I know you guys have like an ongoing thing.

Oh god, dammit. Psychoactive drugs. Yeah. He after he started taking his pills. It brings it up all the time. It's like, you know, my, I might have a whole new perspective on things because of the pills. And then he shakes his pill box just to get the, the point across.

Yeah. I don't know what he's doing or what he's on or what he's, but SSRIs don't do that. Oh, I mean, he's on an offer them. He's on an offer them. They don't, and they also, they take four to six weeks to work. I can sit here, I can talk about the science. He instantly is cured. Yeah.

And then he's, he's, Mumkees talks about having a hysterical breakdown because he's, because this girl that he cheated on his last girlfriend with is in love with a 15 year old and is still talking to him and told him that to his fucking face. Oh, let me clear the slide. So then he stopped taking a pill. That has to be explained because there's a lot of that. There's a lot and many people wouldn't know. What happened is that Monkey had a very stable, responsible young lady as a girlfriend called Sheepover.

And he cheated on her with multiple fans that ironically she pushed him to talk to because meetups with people. So I'm sure she feels stupid about that, even though it's not really her fault. But at some point, he went hard with this girl named Lou, who is a furry, cub porn artist, which is like Lollie Con but with furries. And she's just psychotic. And there's a list of like all her fetishes

and it contains shit like adultery and blackmail and pegging and it's just, all normal, a comprehensive list of things you don't want a girlfriend to be into. I know about that. Look, I have such a hard time with, every time I read a guy talking about how great mumkees X's, I want to inject testosterone into my balls because it's taken it from me. Like there is, there is the only reason any man ever needed to cheat on his wife or girlfriend

or any woman ever is that she's not two women. That's the only reason you ever need. There's nothing, I mean, there is nothing that any woman has ever offered a man that another woman couldn't do just as good or better. It's not, I am so tired of reading guys talking about this amazing relationship that monkey fucked up by cheating on, but they have no idea what was going on. And even if they do, it's just,

it never is like that. No, I would say. It doesn't matter. Like, maybe she was awful and manipulative and I don't fucking know. Like I wasn't nervous. Even if she's great. I'm like, listening.

Even if she's great, even if she's great, I don't care. There's, well, she didn't care, either she, oh, she didn't care, but she was willing to take him back when she when you know do you dump the monkey for oj who is a city's videos and i know i got a really do i have to see these videos i cannot fucking believe you didn't call in go ahead no i'm sorry the guy that that lu dumped him for was ojj who was a caller in this room right now. And during this time, sheepover, the ex, was telling Mumkey that she would take him back.

And he decided to beg, Lue, the pedophile, to start dating him again and dump OJ. And even after this, this horrible decision, he was still in contact with sheepover complaining about his life. And explicitly mentioned that Lou had told him at some point post engagement that she still loved OJ more than him. Yeah. I don't even care. I know I understand that.

I don't care about any of that shit. Like I just want Mumke to, I only want to tell him, look, Maddox didn't want to be famous anymore. So he told his entire fan base to go fuck themselves. They all told him what to do. They all told him the right thing to do. All he had to do was say out loud that you're all right. And Mumpke, you're doing the same fucking thing.

Your Patreon's going to hell. Your entire viewership hates what you're saying. All you have to do, if you want to be anybody, if you want to compare yourself to anybody in life, go watch, there will be blood, the scene where he's in church and forced to say the truth about what his life is, which is, I have abandoned my son. You need to do that with your audience or the rest of your life online, or there is no more career online. I was going to say, you guys are absolutely right.

Louis fucked. I have been, I have been putting out terrible content. You're absolutely right. I understand your, I understand your problems with my girlfriend because all of you hate, all of you hate Asperger's girlfriend for the same reason. Bitch got a rascal, got chewed on by an alcoholic. They intervened to help her and then she fucking went back and that is the most that is there is no more

uh... discussed in derision and what is reserved for the uh... victim of the domestic violence who goes back because it is a we are the fools for having believed you in the first place the same things happening to mumpy right now he's going back to this fucking black hole that's emotionally manipulating him. All he has to do is say, I know, I know, I know I'm doing it because I need it.

I need it right now. I know you're right, you're right. And it will, everything will go away overnight. I just need to hear, I'm right. Or else we will never stop saying it. That is a absolute when it comes to people. They will go insane if you don't admit that they're right. And that you're dealing with that on a scale of tens of thousands of people. They will never stop until you say, you're right,

but I'm still going to do it even though you're right. Yeah, I was going to make the George comparison earlier, where it does seem like, yeah, just stop. And Mumke said, er, and, and no said it too, where it's just, yeah, stop, just stop doing the wrong thing. So many people did, so many people did tell George, like, dude, if you would just, just, just say it. Just say it.

Yeah, a little bit even. Yeah. Just say that, you know, it's fucked. Say that the lawsuit was fucked. Just say it, you idiot. Even well before that, even. idiot even well before that even yeah well before that yeah Anyway, I don't know. What do you got anything else? I guess he's not calling in Well somebody told me that what he's actually taking is SNRI is which apparently don't take four to six weeks

Okay, yeah, that's a S S NRI is a Serotonin Norepin Fron re-uptake inhibitor. Norip and Efron being one of the, kind of the big three, serotonin is the most important. They do take, they do take a good time to work. Basically, Norip and Efron, it's not like dopamine. Oftentimes it just kind of, it can increase anxiety in people. Serotonin is your big one. Dopamine is your reward one. How could you know, I mean, how could you speak?

I know that you have a wealth of knowledge in the subject, but you can't say with certainty about people who are under circumstances that no one finds themselves in. Like, I don't know exactly what he's feeling. Yeah, yeah. But I can tell you, I can't know exactly what he's feeling. Yeah. But I can tell you, I can tell you how they work. I can tell you the mechanism of action. Even what's really weird about them is just that like watching these videos, their points

where like he starts acting like he does like a joker impression. Like in the last thing that I know what's happening. Yeah. And there's no, there's no telling what else he can be doing. I've heard he still drinks. I don't know. Well, wow drinking on SSRIs. Who's possibly doing that?

There's fucking miracle drug that everybody's always promoting. You can, a lot of them, you can drink on. You're not supposed to be an alcoholic. You shouldn't, I always tell you, you shouldn't. But I drank on them for years. Yeah. Drank on them for years, yeah. Uh, yeah.

God dammit. You don't know what else. He could be doing other stuff too. I remember, there's a member of my family who, you know, going to, I guess the same psychiatrist that, you know what, I'd gone to, you know, for years and years and, you know, things were, they were behaving erratically, they were doing all this kind of stuff and he's going,

I really think this person is on, is on other drugs. Yeah. blah, blah, blah. And of course it turns out he was absolutely right. It all came to light and it was like, oh yeah, well you put, you know, stop. So I don't know what he's, you know, who knows what he. And so I don't know what he's, you know, who knows what he's doing? I don't know.

It's ridiculous. It's irresponsible even to speculate. Oh, fuck that, but I just want to know how much. It sounds like severe behavior. All I wanted, I just wanted to know how much was the stereosis credit. I wanted to know how much of Mumki's recent success, he credits to the stereios, you know?

He met the new love of his life who's gonna fix all of his problems at a boomer versus zoomer meetup. Yeah, hysterios is Mr. Meetup. Who else is Mr. Therapy and anti-anxiety medication? Stereos who's hammering Mumki every time something good happens to him that it's somehow politically bad and

Optically bad for him to do. I just want to know I just want to know from monkey how much credit a stereos deserves for all these amazing Windfalls and Astarius yeah All right, fuck it. I fuck fuck him if he's not gonna call well He's just got to kind of wake up, but it sounds like, and just do. No, so I'm, but it's therapy. You know, the word of a therapist that you pay to tell you what you want to hear

is so much more valuable than 10,000 people. That's what they do. It is sometimes you can get bad anything. That's, they're not supposed to ever tell you what to do. Okay, let me run this one by questions. They're not there to validate what you, what you think or what you want to do. Okay, let me run this one by you. They ask you questions. They're not there to validate what you think or what you want to hear. Do you think there is a therapist who would say, oh, yeah, you should go online and make an hour long video about how you're dating a pedophile and how everyone's jealous and hateful of you. Is that? Do you think

that? I mean, I would, okay, I knew what I'm saying? It would probably, it depends what information he volunteers. Now, now we're getting somewhere. So if someone is crafting a message to their therapist, they can get whatever answer they want. I don't know about any answer, whatever answer they want, but yeah, you're obviously, you're not participating like you're supposed to be. It means you're not participating like you're supposed to

be. It means you're, you're going there and you're paying money and you're getting exactly zero out of it. You're getting diagnosis for someone who's not you. You think that's, you think that's a risk at all? It is a risk and it depends. Good therapist see through a lot of that stuff, but they can be fooled. Yeah, they can be fooled. Sure. I'm so fucking, I'm so fucking sick of being told that opinions only matter if there's a medical degree out of that stuff, but they can be fooled. Yeah, they can be fooled. They can be fooled. Sure. I'm so fucking sick of being told that opinions only matter if there's a medical degree from whatever hanging on the wall and that you're paying money to get it.

I'm so fucking tired of that. No, but I'm gonna listen to that person first. Why? Because they do have training in a background in that. Yeah, I think that's ridiculous not to. Okay, I think it's, I think it's way more ridiculous not to listen to 10,000 people who have a, in this case, yeah, I agree with you. I'm only talking about this case.

Okay, yeah, that, yes. Most people should listen to Dick and only Dick. Yeah, in this case, I agree. I think the people who best understand the human mind are not in therapist that they're in marketing. And if that it could be taught, marketing wouldn't work. Well, an aspect of the human mind. I think it's like, I think that's simplistic to say that that's, you know what I mean?

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I do. The getting you to do shit aspect. Oh, yeah. Sheep over is in the call. It looks like, because she was asking for the link. I don't know if that's actually a prank.

Who's that? No, that's probably Cameron. I, yeah, it's a prank. I got a trick. Because she was asking for it in the pranking. What's with all the pranking? It's Cameron, Cameron wants to get on. He's in rare form.

All right, let me, let me read some. Can't to get on. He's in rare form. All right. Let me read some of you. Can't hear the audio. He's monkey Jones. I get, well, here's my problem with therapy. It also comes with the caveat that you actually have to do shit. Like talking about your problems isn't going to fix your business. No, it's also stopping his fucking meditative randomly. It gets you, that's not a good idea, either. He's got dick don't work syndrome.

And I get off that fucking. Oh, the side effects. Yeah, I would not go to pills first off. That's not the first thing I would do. But therapy, yes, you do have to do something. But the point is is for you to change your way of thinking. Yeah. That's what it is, so that you decide it's not an overnight thing. And that's what, if you're going there to try to save your business and you're completely fucked up, you ain't going to come to that conclusion right away.

And that's the problem. That's, that is when the knowledge of the group, the 10,000 people in the group should probably be listened to because they're the experts in online celebrity, all that kind of stuff. No, I disagree. I mean, as far as like you know, I think that I think that 10,000 people who are invested in you online will always reach a better conclusion about what's best for you. That's what I just said.

Oh, I thought you said that 10,000 people's opinion matters more when it comes to online shit. I'm talking about your men's own business. When it comes to somebody online, when it comes to Sisy, I see, I misunderstood. Yeah, that's what I mean. When it comes to somebody online, because it's like, you need to put the brakes on quick. And a bunch of people are telling you how to do that. Just don't fuck up your, don't fuck up what you got going right now. Two immediately.

Yeah, but he doesn't want to see that, I guess. I don't know. This is all for me, not even seeing his videos. So I got a guy, I got a, let's see, let's talk to Cantilians right now. Josh, thanks. No, thanks for calling in. Oh, I do have a thing I wanted to add. I do have a rage. Go ahead. Briefly, did you catch the drama about my data center throwing on my hardware into a fucking box? Yeah. No, no, data center, his hosting data center. I run a hosting company called 1777-6-hosting.com and I try to provide hosting service decides like mine

and other sites like mine that have problems finding hosting. Right. And the data center for about a year and a half was okay with complaints. I told him, if anybody complains to you, you can give them whatever information about mine you want. I'll give you my fucking social security number. I don't care. Just keep my shit online and they're like, okay.

And then somebody found out that they have a parent company, which is a check printing small business solutions company, which doesn't know anything about the internet. And they gave the order from down high on an anonymous complaint that my shit had to go. So they went to the AC strip. They turned off the power to all my shit and dozens of services and threw my shit into a fucking box and emailed me saying, you can't even come to the premises to pick it up. We're going to box it for you. And if you want to come pick it up, you can do it and like the armed lobby of the facility.

Jesus. So I mean, what did you do? the armed lobby of the facility. Jesus, so I moved. What did you do? What did I know? They were just mad about the Kiwi farms. That's it. And they didn't already know about the farm. How many people did it take to alert them?

One guy? One tip, apparently. It's all a take. No, no, no, it is. And here's the great thing. They didn't check to see if it was actually hosted there. They didn't check to see if I knew it was hosted there. They didn't check to see if I would even hosted there. It didn't check to see if I knew it was hosted there. It didn't check to see if I would even remove it.

They didn't do anything. I didn't know until I called their legal and their legal ignored me. And then I called the head of media relations and then they forwarded me to the legal department and I finally got an answer from that. And she just said, oh, we got an anonymous tip. I was like, okay.

So that's what I've been spending my last week on. And so if you're in the audience and you happen to be a data center provider and you don't mind insane people sending you threatening letters, let me know and I'll put your name on the list for the next time this happens. Oh God, what a pain in the ass. No shit. Come get your computer. I fuck you. Thanks for your business. Wow. Who wasn't? What was the name of the company? Not that it matters. Cullo Crossing was the data center.

And I do think it wasn't their decision. They deferred me entirely to Deluxe. So Deluxe is the company that made the decision. Yeah. And my rage is Bricks. Okay. Bricks. Yeah.

A girl I'm talking to really, really once a brick house. And she doesn't seem to understand that you can't have a house made entirely a bricks because they Perseparate and warm weather and What's up, though? Wait, a girl you're talking to in a romantic way? I will not comment on that. Oh, yes. Yes.

So your new lady friend wants a house entirely made at how old is she? She's old enough to know better about the building materials of a construction. No, you're wrong about that. What happens with bricks? No. If it's hot outside and cool inside, condensation will occur on the bricks, which is why you usually have to use serving sense kinds of materials and use bricks as a decorative occur on the bricks, which is why you usually have to use several kinds of materials. And use bricks as a decorative element on the outside.

Yeah. They're not structurally stable enough to keep a house up, especially in the US, because in the US, there's lots of earth clay carriers, and bricks will fucking collapse. Yeah, you do not, in Southern California, you do not see houses with that many bricks at all. Certainly not entire houses made of bricks.

She just wants to, she just needs to be sat down. She doesn't know. She doesn't know. So sit down. It's all bricks and it's like entirely concrete and it's just painted, it looks like bricks on the outside. This is a, I think women just start ridiculous conversations to wind you up. I don't.

It feels like it. Yeah. Then they never stop and they share tips. They call your stubborn for not yielding. You're wrong. That's why I'm not yielding. I can show you facts that it's done. And then she's like, well, where I'm from, it's like that.

I'm like, no, it's not. No, it's not. If you were mistaken. Yeah, it's an endless shit test to see what you'll tolerate. Like to see how much idiocy you'll tolerate on a given day. Women wake up and they start planning their idiocy for the day. A big ol' itinerary of idiotic comments that they're going to make. See if I can get them to slam the cupboard before noon.

Yeah. Let's see how high I can get his blood pressure. Then they test your blood pressure at night Yeah, and compare results online. That's their version of video games. Oh, look at this motherfucker He's really wound up over brick houses. What an idiot All right, that's it. All right, get out of her now. Yeah, thanks for calling I just been calling a lot lately. Yeah, it's always good. I can tell Um What a colossal lately. Yeah, he's always good. I can talk into him.

What a colossal disappointment. Yeah, too bad. Well, there he goes. I guess we'll see him on the other side. Oh, Jesus. You ever made an hour long video comparing yourself to like Jimmy Hendrix or something like that? No. Why?

Why would that not be something you would do, Sean? I don't know, I don't think I'm like Jimmy Hendrix. Oh like that? No. Why? Why would that not be something you would do, Sean? I don't know, I don't think I'm like Jimmy Hendrix. Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm probably the only thing we have in common is we play guitar, that's about it. Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't think Jimmy Hendrix and I are very similar at all.

What have I made an hour long video of comparing myself to Don Draper? Do you think that would be worthwhile content? Probably not. No, probably not. No. You would advise against that? I would say no, yeah, that's probably not a, yeah, seems a little unhinged.

A little crazy. A little bit. Ah, Tettis Dearest. Hey, man, I feel compelled to let you know that I'm missing your show this Sunday because it's my dog's full paw birthday. What? And we're throwing him a party at the lake. You should throw your girlfriend and a party at the lake. You should throw your girlfriend and your dog into the lake, Tedus. I know you're not a huge fan of using gay slurs, but if there ever was a time this was it.

Any who see you next Sunday. Oh, geez. That's a shame. See? So his wife or girlfriend or whatever is doing this. Yeah. Right. He's starting the day with idiocy.

He's along for the ride. Immediately starting the day. Yeah. Oh, I along for the ride. Immediately starting the day. Yeah. Oh, I've cooked up an idiotic thing. Oh, great. The hell is, what does he mean, full paw? What? Is that four?

Because they have four, like, fingers on their paw. No, he's like full paw. Full paw, birthday. They don't get extra digits when they grow up. Well, but it's like the number four means it's his full paw counting. I assume. Oh, you know, I know I can usually figure out when they weren't right. I can figure out because they, because I will go to any length to avoid asking them what

they mean, because it gives them satisfaction. All right, I think you're right. I think you're right. Um, Dio Brando, hey, I'm listening to the episode where you guys go over the last stream of the best debate. And I noticed something you guys missed. Sean is right. Maddox is one, Maddox is being 100% metaphorical about his leech problem.

I can tell because although you introduced that clip as a preview for an, an upcoming bonus episode singular, Maddox actually says that it's a preview for his upcoming bonus episodes. Oh, plural. Well. So unless Maddox records hours of him talking about all these parasitic organisms he has inside of him, I think he's actually dedicating these last few bonus episodes to vent about these people in his life. He views his leeches and parasites.

I think he's going to take all his emotions bottled up by not going public about it and just exploding knowing how Farmatics can take things I can see him focusing on one leech per episode. I mean, that would be funny. I would watch that. Could be. I think that he was being metaphorical because he understands how to do that, but he doesn't understand it when it's done to him. Like he doesn't, he's very literal when he doesn't understand people dryly making a metaphor. Yeah, I believe that he knows how to do it though. If it comes from him, I think he knows, I think he understands the concept, but I don't think he's good at doing it. Well, he's not good at doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree with you.

For one thing, I can't wait to hear this shit. It might give us a better look into this maniac's mind. Dan Severin, I once watched and forced myself to pretend to like Dr. Who because I wanted a girl to date me. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know Dr. Who at all, but it seems like a lot of women watch Dr. Who.

It does. It does seem, I agree with you. I got some advice. I want to talk to Contillians and then I got this very remarkable gentleman who bought a game girl's bath water and vaped it. What do you want to talk to first, John? Cantillians is calling in about the Chris the Kiwi podcast, which is the funniest podcast. Do we get to listen to it? Yes, I have clips.

Okay, let's do that. Okay. Or we'll do some advice first. I need a break after talking. Oh, okay. No, yeah. I need a break between talking to people. Right, right.

Hollis, I'll just say Hollis, this is from Hollis. You said in the last episode how you hated how nobody ever just asked you to tell them what to do. So I'll do it up front. No, I think I said, I know when people ask me advice the advice that they're looking for, because they know what I'm gonna say. So I'll do it up front.

I'm split 50, 50 and I can't decide what to do. So just tell me what to do to break the tie. Oh, you ready for this? You might need a third vote if we don't agree. Okay. I, 29, six foot tall, 230 pounds. Already, I need to tell you that you need to lose weight. Knocked up a girl, 27, 5, 4, 36, double D.

Whoa, 140 pounds. Ooh, who was just a rebound seven years ago. She was stupid as dirt and had a huge temper and I didn't have a job. She also already had an 18 month old. I was young and let my mom convince me I had to do the right thing. So I married her. You following so far? So he married her you following so far? So he married this he married this girl. Uh-huh. I I lasted about three years being faithful

despite her constantly blaming every issue on me Despite her not having a job not having any hobbies and not doing anything but smoking weed and playing MMO games Jesus Christ What a fucking what a raw deal that was. By the way, I invited Monkey to Vegas. I said I'd pay for everything. Right. Just come. Right. He should have seen a lot better spot. Right. Meanwhile, while we were partying Vegas, he was having a meltdown in the shower and swiping right on every single girl on Tinder. Oh my God.

I can't see these videos. Which he doesn't know. So in his video, Munky says he swiped right. He was so desperate for female approval after his, after this girl, Lou told him that she's in love with a 15 year old and not in love with him. Yeah. He was so desperate for female interaction that he went on Tinder and swiped right on every single, every single girl

and that he got zero matches. And he attributed this to him being a loser. Yeah. So then he went back to Lou, the girl, the, I mean, I don't call people a pedophile loosely. Yeah. Unless they're, well, you know, the actual definition of it. Right. Which maybe she is, I don't know. He went back to her and proposed to her to keep her away from

in his mind to keep her away from this guy she was in love with. Yeah. Which is down because that's not going to work. If that worked, married women would never cheat on their husbands. Yes. Idiot. Oh. And then he walked his proposal back on the video. He said, it's not a proposal.

It's just, if things, I told her if things are good in a year, we'll get married. That's a proposal. You shit brain. What do you talk? You think walking back a proposal on a narcissist is not gonna have repercussions, have fun with that. Meanwhile, the whole time he didn't realize

that swiping right on everything on Tinder, will classify you as a bot because company, so in doing so he guaranteed that he would be shown to no women and get no matches. I mean, these are the, it's just the same as with the iPhone. Put it down. Come to Vegas. Let me take care of this problem for you.

Get out around some people. Stop what you're doing. Yeah. She doesn't even take good care of the kids or clean the house or even cook or shop, but still yells at me about us living paycheck to paycheck and not being able to buy her expensive shoes. She's just a real fucking catch.

Wow, and she's 27 at one, she's 27, 5, 4, and 140. That's big, fucking moo. Yeah, it's which way do you think that's gonna go? As her metabolism runs into the brick wall of 30. Yeah. Jesus Christ. So three years ago, three years in, I started cheating.

A couple of her friends, some of my old flames and a couple professional girls. When I couldn't find any girls who wanted a married guy. But it was just sex. Didn't mean anything until I met Melanie, 26, 5, 6, 38, double D, 175. Come on, on a video game, I played. She's the first girl I've ever been with. And I actually, where I actually don't make up half of the nice should I say about her. She lives in Boston while I live in Georgia. So we have met up about seven times in the last 10 months. Perfect. That's a perfect relationship.

Seven times in 10 months. Oh, man. That's the best part of a relationship. Seeing each other maybe every week. It's all downhill from there. You know, 80s girls gone. She's at a conference right now. That's why you're in such a good mood. Yeah. While she's gone, I'm going to set up like a dummy of in bed. So that when she goes to sleep, I can roll out and put the dummy in like Indiana Jones or Ferris Bueller. Yeah. And then go sleep in the other bed.

There you go. Because I cannot survive long-term sleeping in a bed with another person. No, I know. I just need way too much space. Mm-hmm. I love every minute with her. She has a job. She has a trust fund, she has hobbies.

She doesn't make her entire world about me, isn't jealous, and is into everything in the bedroom that I am. She was cool being a fuck buddy, but feelings grew for both of us. And now after 10 months, she's basically asking me to either leave my wife or move on so that she can stop wasting her time.

So very smart. So Dick, do I stick it out for another 14 years with a woman I don't like until my kids turn 18? Or do I be a total scumbag and move away from my kids and hope I don't have to get a lawyer to visit them once a month from Boston, who would be with the first girl I haven't gotten bored of after sex in my entire life. You can read this on the show, but I'm supposed to make a decision by the weekend. So if you could reply here, I better type this up if he's not a listener. I'm supposed to make...

So she put the... Give him an ultimatum. Ah, she'll give you time. Well, jeez. Soft deadline. Yeah, but you got you time. Well, jeez. Soft deadline. Yeah, but you got a boy. You got a full plate there, buddy.

Yeah, even a busy guy and get a leash on that seaman. Well, I think it's pretty obvious. Just ask your mom and do the opposite of whatever she says. You got to have a good shit canary in your life to know exactly what the dumbest decision is for you at all times. Hey mom, what do I do? Well, you gotta stick around.

You gotta watch after these kids and provide for them or else what else is gonna happen? Got it. See ya. I'm fuckin' outta here. Man, how many kids he's got? Two total one his. Oh, one has. You're going to be raising little clones of this awful walrus person that you've randomly shackled yourself

to. She's around them. I'm sure they're learning all kinds of nasty upshin. Yeah, I mean, that's you're the worst version of yourself because you're around this horrible will-de-beast. Yeah. Fuck that shit. Ron. The fuck out of here. Fuck them. It sure does, I mean, it just seems like a terrible situation.

Fuck the wife, fuck the kids, bail immediately. Yeah, the only one, the only one I give a second thought to is the kid, but it sounds like that's not even a... Take them. Yeah. Buy them. Buy your off. Buy your fucking kid off. You got to that's not even a take them. Yeah, buy them by buy your off by your fucking kid off. You got to trust fun, put it to work. Yeah, that's going to be the best use of that money you've ever seen in your fucking life.

Give him a shot. I mean, give a shot at, you know, being a semi normal, well-rounded human being, hopefully, lawyer up immediately. In fact, just take the kid. Don't wait, don't wait for anything. Just take him. Yeah. Just take him, go whatever, how many state-selver possession

is nine tenths of the law? It's a Massachusetts down to Georgia, I think, right? Other way, I think it's the other way around. She's in Boston. Or yeah, whatever. Okay, yeah. Just fucking take him. Lawyer up immediately

Start recording shit heinous shit that she's doing Document everything Get the fuck out of there, dude. Yeah, I ultimately he's got it go or you're gonna remember this This is you're gonna remember you this is gonna be the memory of your life. I'm gonna fucking suck You're gonna be miserable. You could be miserable forever with her. All right. All right, Vito.

Let's see if Vito. Vito, are you there? Hello. Hi, Vito. You are, I don't know if I can introduce this properly for Sean, but you've vaped. You bought a game girl's bath water. I got my lady's sacred potion and I partakeed.

Yes. This is Bell Delphine. Yes. Game girl water, why do you priestess yourself? What, what, what, what, what pressed you to do this? Why did you do this insane thing? And how was it? I mean, she is just the goddess, the walking among mere mortals

and to be able to partake of her essence in purist form For $30. I mean, how could I pass it up? Yeah, did you really do this? What did she look like? I'll let's bring her up What does she look like? Yes She's a She's radiant. She's like a she's like a enchanted Elven princess This is what she looks like, Sean. Bell Delphine, she's got the pink hair going.

She looks like the girl versions of you that they always draw except with no tits. Sarah, she's playing with an octopus in the power. Okay. In the bath tub. What was the octopus in the bath water? I wish, but probably not. Okay.

It was just her pure essence. Her pure essence. Did you really buy it? I mean, you did you really vape it? Yeah. Yeah. People are saying that people, somebody's told me that it's impossible to vape because water burns at a different temperature. Yeah. Well, you got to mix it with like a catalyst, like an oil. Okay. Is this a bit? Are you serious? Yeah. This is a bit. I mean, I don't know. We didn't discuss it before I came on, but yeah, it's a bit. I made a fake jar of bath water and I took a picture of it and then for like a week straight, people on the internet called me a fucking fan cuck idiot moron.

Which was fun. It was like on literally like, there's a reddit board called Neckbeard things and I was every single post on Neckbeard thing. So they, yeah, it's pretty fucked. Yeah. He's at the top of something. So they actually thought you did it. I mean, I thought there was no possible way. You serious? But then you come on talking about how she's a guy. I don't fuck maybe. I mean, I tried to keep his lane like he did. He did, he did. He tried to stay like he did, he did. He tried to stay like he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he did, he didpes? And I'm like, all right, well, I tried to like make it clear. Like I then was like, all right, well, I'll make it clear. It's like a joke. So then I took another picture with the jar

and I held up $23 and dollar bills. And I'm like, you guys just wish you had money so you could buy nice things like me. I'd be able to still fucking thought it was real, man. I'm like, yeah, there's so less in my outfit. How quickly people believe man. I thought like, yeah, there's so less than in like how quickly people believe anything. I guess. Yeah.

Like, because it spiraled from there. Like at first they're just like, look at this dumb fat ass moron. But then they're like, hey, did you hear that dumb fat ass moron died? And there was like a fake news article they like made up. And they're like, oh, and then he and like 50 other people got herpes. It's like that whole story just spiraled out of control. It was insane. I saw the herpes thing.

I think you were on one of them, me? Yeah, in a video. Oh. It is there is so much hatred towards this poor girl just selling her bath water, like the eagerness of people to find the men who are paying any attention at all to just a bunch of beautiful horrors on them or just a bunch of beautiful, I don't know, not even horrors, but they can still fucking hang me.

But like, you know, the more I went into, like, because I didn't even really know who this chick was, when I'm like, all right, some chick selling her bath water, that's funny, I'll make a video about it. Yeah. But then I like looked into her and I'm like, oh, she's completely self aware.

Like, she's actually just like a fantastic it. Yeah. But then I like looked into her and I'm like, oh, she's completely self aware. Like she's actually just like a fantastic comedian. Yeah. This is like, this is a good stunt. This is like funny. You know, how could she not be? Who could unironically sell and not just sell their bath water? But the packaging, like the packaging is so well done. It would be impossible for an insane person to do that.

That's the thing is like, all these people I'm dealing with, they're like, how could you give that stupid hormon she's so dumb, you're just supporting her because she's hot, and I'm like, dude, she's like a million times smarter than these dudes who are railing on her.

I'm like, this is just like, it's fucking hilarious that she's selling her back. Are you heard about her porn hub thing? Did you hear about that? No, no. She told all her followers, she just like, it's fucking hilarious that she's selling her back. Are you heard about her porn hub thing? Did you hear about that? No, no. She told all her followers, she's like, all right, because she doesn't post nude pictures of herself.

She'll, she'll like, at the most, she'll like cover up her nipples with like band-aids or whatever. And she was like, listen, if I get like a million retweets or something like that, I'll open up a porn hub account. And so all these fucking thirsty kids were like, oh my God, I gotta show up the shit, because this will make a porn hub. And then she made it. And all the videos are like me putting PewDiePie inside me and she just takes a fucking printed out picture of PewDiePie and eats it like completely clothed. I'm like, that's fucking

hilarious. Like just all shit like that. And these kids like lost their minds like, you promised you were going to make porn for us. And then you didn't, like, yes, she's a master level troll. She's like, just a good comedian. Oh, that's fucking great. We watched some of this video, the eye drank, the bowel death, and, all right, let me, let me queue it up.

It's shocking how eager people are to believe that the, that like a sub-creature of human being exists, like the absolutely farcical, fantastical person who would brag about vaping something that's already obviously a joke. That's already a problem. People will, they don't go to shock first or, oh, come on. Yeah, give me a break. Yeah, they go to, right. Yeah, like, I wouldn't expect people to be like or oh come on. Yeah, give me a break. Yeah, they go to right. Yeah, like I wouldn't expect people

Be like oh I get the joke. Ha ha, you know, even if they well that's the other thing is like I made a fake jar because she didn't even Ship it out yet. That's why I was the first guy going viral because because they're like it's the first guy who has it I'm like yeah, cuz I have a fucking sticker machine at my fucking house. Yeah And you do fucking jar of art. You should have done an unboxing video. I should have. Fuck, man. Has she contacted you? No, I hope she's seen it.

Because like, I really, if you watch the video, it's fucking nuts and I have a bunch of, it goes off the rails. I like put a lot of work into it. Okay, let's like, let's swap a bit. But just the people who are like, you know, how could you give her money? I'm like, well, I'm a YouTuber, so if I did give her money,

it's gonna make me more money in the end, right? It's like, no, giving that filthy whore even a penny is like a crime against humanity. Dude, they are- These people were so mad. I know. People do the same thing to Brittany Venti. I follow her on Twitter, I think she's extremely funny. And she will antagonize whatever mindset people have where you just can't give a girl money because she's hot.

She will deliberately go out of her way to brag about how much money guys are giving. And it's fucking hilarious. I want to give her money. It's so funny. Yeah. And then the dudes who get mad about it, it seems like they're mad at like internet girls who do it. And I'm like, do you go go out of the fucking strip club with like signs and like pick at the strip club You're mad about that

difference dude Like honestly these guys they're psyched up. I want to say I should just send her $30 at this point to be like You know what fuck it you made a great joke. Yeah, here's 30 bucks. Here you're gonna play the video now What's up guys? It's your boy Vito here with a very special product review. So you've got a bald eagle behind you and an American flag on the other side. It's all rich on it's already screaming joke. It is funny. Here we go.

Now as many of you already know, I'm a huge fan of professional gamer girl, Bell Del Fiend. And I honestly believe she's one of our generation's most talented artists. She continues to inspire me every day. Before I already heard her incredible fan actions, unique sense of humor, and uncanny ability to make horrifying, hen-tie faces. That's why when I heard Bell was bottling up her own filthy bathwater and selling it for $30 a jar, I knew I had to get some.

There it is. What's up, Delphine? She's super hot. She's super hot. Gamer girl bathwater. What we have here is a powerful holy elixir, one blessed with the rarest of magics. In the right hands, it could be capable of great miracles. In the wrong hands, I shudder the think of the destruction that might be delivered onto our world. How do they know how to put a joke? Like, I guess I'm going to say this video. I guess I'm going to say this video.

I guess I'm going to say this video. I guess I'm going to say this video. I guess I'm going to say this video. I guess I'm going to say this video. I guess I'm going to say this video. I guess I'm going to say this video. I guess I'm going to say this video. I guess I'm going to say this video.

I guess I'm going to say this video. I guess I'm going to say this video. I guess I'm going to say this video. I guess I'm going to say this video. I guess I'm going to say this video. I guess I'm going to say this video. I guess I'm going to say this video. I guess I'm going to say this video. I guess I'm going to dude, watch one second of the video. Like, Jesus things. We're fucking hilarious. I have Jesus holding up the fucking bath water. Yeah, at that point, you get the joke. That should be the latest, you get it.

They're just, they're so eager and so satisfied to think that this person exists, like bragging about, like he's so obsessed, that we're so dumb and gratified by the like tiny, tiny, tiny glimpse of a woman touching her bathwater. Yeah. They're so eager to see this in men that they won't even stop to read a watch it. Well, there's a lot of pathetic, you know, there's a lot of pathetic people out there who love the idea that there's someone more pathetic than them, you know, and they're conscious of seeking that shit out. They're like, oh, I'm going to use them not this fuck.

And you're like, well, yeah, but you're actually worse than that fuck because he's trolling you upside down, dude. Like, you're falling for the most obvious frickin' satire. Posting on Twitter that I had obtained Melady's sacred bath water, my pictures of me with the Holy Potion. This is the saddest, this is literally this, look at these assholes. This is literally the saddest thing I've ever seen and believe me, I've seen a lot.

This is about exactly who I thought would be buying this shit. What the fuck is that kind of thing to say to somebody? Fuck you, bitch. Doing this is, Wait till you see the private messages I was getting which come up in like 10 seconds. Okay. Chin, we're quickly going viral.

It seems that internet users were very interested in finding out what kind of person would purchase used bath water. Let me just say that not all of the messages have been kind. The goddess Elixir has arrived. Full review soon. Okay. Detecting hard levels of soy. I want those people to know that I have a-

Here's the private messages. I hope those people to know that I have a, here's the private messages. I hope you choke on that putrid bathwater. You fucking troglodyte. Jesus. God damn, just because a guy wants to drink another day. Now I want to really drink the bathwater. How can you have that strong an opinion about this? Yeah. Like honestly, the guy who says I'm like the greatest disappointment of the white race. That's probably the best one. That's pretty good. I don't know. Do you have the exact quote there? Yeah, because he told you out at himself too. I think it's next. You are without a doubt the perfect example of the plague infesting the modern white man and should be ashamed of yourself. Jesus Christ is $30. I know right? Do you like

is everybody? I hate to flex the 30 bucks, but I'm like, guys, it's not that much money, man. You look like a pedophile, bro. And you sound like a dumb ass of South Park episode. You fat fucking pig. Jesus. Oh my God. Go get some real pussy. You can't detain it obviously. Finally kill yourself. God damn. I don't even know if the news were the worst ones. Like literally I just grabbed the first four I could find. Like I was getting like and I was getting not only like messages to people who are like fuck you, but then I'm getting messages to people who are trying to give me like life advice and trying to turn my life around. Like I was getting like advice from pick-up artists like listen man there's ways to trick girls into sex

so you don't have to do this. I'm like I have to drink bath water. How is it tricking a girl into sex? If I drink her bath water other girls will have sex with me. I promise you that if my thing is drinking bath water, this is the cheapest way to get it. Yeah, $30. $30. I just picture all these people getting super pissed off at home, blood pressure shooting up. How the hell can you have that?

Why is strong opinion about it? The people who are like, oh my God, look at this idiot. I'm like, all right, yeah, I get it. That's funny, that's the joke facing me. The people who are like, rip shit pissed. I'm like, oh my God, what is wrong with her? Just people these days, I get it. That's funny. That's the joke facing. Yeah. The people who are like, rip shit pissed. I'm like, oh my God, what is wrong with her? Just people these days, I don't even know how to summer. So threatened by like an ex-

Right. By monetizing sexuality in a little tiny bit. Like, so I was bitch is hot. I'm drinking your path water. So, so the fuck why? Are they afraid that it'll raise the bar and then everybody will have to pay for sex? You know what I mean?

Yes. I feel like it's some old school just economic security. Like people who were raised in these situations where it's like, if you spend money on the wrong thing, your whole family is going to perish in the famine. So you see a guy tossing money around and they're like, don't you know the frost is coming to claim the harvest? You know, I'm just buying a fucking pet rock, basically. I don't know, man.

Like if I don't buy this, it just goes into the trash. Yeah. So what is the problem here? Yeah. Oh, there you go. Very special message for them at the end of this video. So be sure to stick around. Oh, good.

Oh, good. Now the high priestess herself has said that no one should drink of this wizard's potion and I understand her caution. Any mortal form of sentimental purposes. It's for sentimental purposes. Which surely have their body ripped apart by the raw magic contained within. However, I believe I have found a way to imbibe of this devil's poison without having

my soul ripped in two. I'm gonna vape this bit. I recommend you subscribe to youtube.com slash video because things are about to get weird. Did you just plug your own channel? This British dude has like three million subscribers. Oh yeah, and he's this, and he's this immune diurny. Oh yeah, it was weird.

Yeah, here we go. About the four. Anyway, I don't know, I did it at a certain point. I think it's like four minutes in. You've aped it four minutes in. You got any more comments from people on here? Those are the videos. On the video itself. I don't know any more comments in the video. No, but how about you? You can just scroll through all those comments.

I mean, most people are very unoriginal And I see people copying jokes made by other people on Twitter, which is really weird. Yeah. The idea where they're like, the joke doesn't work if you're the target demographic. And I'm like, why are comedians making satire videos to target demographic, especially once you didn't even buy it? And just a million people telling me,

you have herpes, you've raped herpes, that has herpes, you're herpes. I'm like, she doesn't fucking have herpes, you psychopath. It's all, can you even get herpes from bathwater? First of all, no. Second of all, the like thing of her having herpes was, it was a fake daily male news article, but it was like a tweet.

And if you look at who made the tweet, it was some dude named like Papa Bakes. And I don't think the daily mail is fucking to order in his Papa Bakes, dude. All right, I want to see you vape it. I want to see you just vape. I'm just watching a guy vape. Yeah, that's the thing I was watching.

I want to see what that's the troll. Here we go. I just, it's always every single insult is you can't get laid. You can't get laid. You're fat and unattractive. You can't get laid. You're a get laid, you're fat and unattractive, you can't get laid, you're a fucking loser, it never is gonna change. It will never be more than that.

Like I wanna see this same prank from a super Chad, like a guy, you know. Somebody brought that up, they're like, what if you were like a super like buff Chad dude, like what change, how does the joke change? And I'm like, oh, that's really interesting. Here we go. Oh, awesome. You're petting a cat, you're brushing your teeth, and anticipation of the vaping.

Here comes the vape. Oh, saying goodbye goodbye to the incase it goes wrong. It goes horribly wrong. Here we go Awesome. Oh my god, I'm gonna be sick What the fuck oh my god, dude? What is this chick bathing in that's disgusting? Fuck? bathing in that disgusting fuck Well, I don't know I guess this video is a fucking failure because I don't feel sure A bunch of weird psychedelic imagery with Bell Delphine has popped up I'm very proud of the animation where her face melts away. That's cool. Very wow in this cow suit that she's got.

She's hot. She is hot. All right, then it kind of devolved into an end of Eve and Gellian parody. Oh, okay. That's a whole other thing. I'm going to read some of these comments you get on here. God. I'm sure they're all from reasonable people. Sure.

Oh, these guys are in on the joke. Yeah, it's like it's weird to feel like skip around. I posted a thing at the top and I'm like, hey, my video got demonetized. If you'd like to support my hard work, consider subscribing to my Patreon. And then immediately it was like, hard, you start hard work to vape bathwater. I'm like, dude, it's a 10 minute video with like a bunch of green screens and costume changes.

You ask all, you didn't even watch it. That's the work. Dumb shit. Yeah. It has a three-act structure. Like, what's wrong with me? Why did I do this? Did you get herpes?

Look at this fat fuck. I bet you did a lot more with that dude's bathwater. Belle is a dude. You fat freak. Yeah. Okay. Enjoy your herpes. You're a disgrace to humankind.

That's good. Yeah. Yeah, man. Just like and the worst. I thought fathers never tell their sons. They love them. But again, I never had a father. N word herpes.

Jesus Christ. And at the end of the video, there's a whole one minute segment where I go, here's how you make a fake jar of bathwater. If you just make it to the final minute, you get to find out just how stupid you are for commenting. Sure. But is it disappointing a little bit that so many people took it seriously? I know I always feel this strange emptiness but whenever, whenever I met her better than one, but whenever my book was received, literally,

I'm like, I knew you would, but I just kind of wish that you didn't. Yeah, yep. I wish that you got the joke like everyone else. There's like part of me that's like, oh, I mean, like, I'm not upset that people think I'm an idiot because I know they're the true idiots in the situation, you know? And I like, and whatever shit they're saying about me, I'm like, well, I'm not upset that people think I'm an idiot because I know they're the true idiots in the situation,

you know? And I like, and whatever shit they're saying about me, I'm like, well, they're basically saying about the character I played in that video. Like, they don't actually know what's going on. Yeah. I just get more worried when, yeah, like when people are like, I don't know, like, I think about this fucking deep fake

technology and like, how easy it's gonna be to like swap people's heads out in the big videos. Yeah. I'm like, the same people who are calling me a fucking fat ass technology and like how easy it's going to be to like swap people's heads out and make videos. Yeah. I'm like, I'm like, the same people who are calling me a fucking fat ass loser, Cuck, who I like can't tell a joke. Are the dudes are going to be voting for the ex fucking president and there's no way to tell those dudes like, Hey, you got to vet some shit, man.

You can't just believe. And no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, anything. They'll believe absolutely anything. Not even that they'll believe it. They'll just see what, like they're already at a point where they see whatever they want into something that's not even there. And when we've been there for a while, as long as it reinforces your position in the world,

where you're like, yeah, anybody who pays women for shit as a cuck in this reinforces that. So I believe it. You know, anybody who, you know, thinks this about politics is an idiot. So I'm going to read, you know, believe this fucking. I think we've been there for a while. It's only now or now we can just believe it. You don't care. You don't, you almost don't, it's like you almost know it's fake, but you don't want to disprove it. You want to just believe it. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, yeah. That's true. There's a lot. That's like the, the lie, the lie is even knowing that it's a lie like embracing it and running with it so much like with everybody else and knowing that either everyone thinks the same as you and or is not going to call you out is more satisfying

than just that's the scariest stuff is like knowingly telling a lie because you know everybody will just go along with it. And you see so much of that from like, even like people who should know better or in like a position of authority, you know? Yeah. Against it's like some weird political shit. Just like it's, where is the line of reality used to be like, oh, well, we can define reality.

We can have journalists like, you know, report on shit and trust them. And now it's like, I don't know. I don't know what's real anymore. Now we've got fake game girl bathwater, fake being drunk by a guy that causes global hysteria. Yeah. Or fake bathwater from a guy. Yeah, we're fucked.

We are. We're fucked. It's, it's, dude. And again, yeah, man, once they start making these like, I was like, thinking about it, like, you just look at these videos of them, like, oh, wouldn't it be funny if Jim Kerry was in the shining? Here's a whole video of that. And I'm like, there's definitely been one of these videos faked already. That's like, we all believe is real. Like this, this clearly some government had this technology 20 years ago and was using

it or whatever the fuck. Every political campaign in the future is going to have the other side is going to make videos of the other candidate shooting a dog or running a dog. That's it. I mean, that's like I was watching the Chernobyl movie. Have you watched it, Sean? Have you watched this at a series or is it?

Yeah, it's like a five. It's a mini series. Five episodes. I've seen parts of it, I haven't watched the whole thing, you know. They dedicate five, maybe 10 minutes, like a substantial chunk of one of the episodes to the Russian soldiers going around hunting the radioactive dogs, the pets that are left over. Right, right. And like, talking about how they have PTSD and all this shit

and I'm thinking that I'm sitting there watching and going, who the fuck is this for? Like this overtly, so what that they shot radioactive dogs? Are you fucking kidding me? This is the point that they want to drive home that dogs had to get killed. Like they set it up. So a young soldier walks in on a bitch

who's recently had a litter and he's too overwhelmed with the cruelty of what he's doing that he has to bow out of killing. And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me with this shit? So we're thinking to put it in. It was so weird to focus on and drive home again and again and again. What is basically an incidental consequence of this mass radiation. I don't know.

I don't know why I got off on that tangent. No, man. Yeah, it's true that it's this weird distraction, you know? Yeah I Takes away from the idea that I don't know just the horrible things were capable of and it's the it's like even Focusing on shit that is so stupid like this is the horror of it like getting so upset over Animals to me is the horrible thing that we're capable of that we could possibly end up be that self-indulgent our priorities are all fucked up So fucked so fucked up. Uh, what's next for you? What are you gonna what's what are you gonna? What's next? Oh man?

I go for me. I have a female comedian friend and she's like we just bottle up my shit And I'm like, I we might do that. That might be fun. Yeah, you gotta sell your bath water I don't think I can milk this bit for too much longer though. So I probably, I gotta figure out what the next thing is, but I got a channel that's youtube.com slash Vito. I just kinda make, I don't know, whatever feels funny at the time. And I'm an LA based guy, you're an LA, right?

Oh, you should come in. I have no comedy friends anymore. I'm looking to make new ones. Oh, me neither. I'm like a complete shut in loser, but I've been trying to get out, do more stand-up and shit. Oh, cool. Yeah. Come in. Actually, you're at a party last night. And I was like, I went to the party,

or no, two nights ago. And then I went to the party last night. And they're like, oh, Dick Masterson was here. I'm like, oh, fuck. Oh, you're a VidCon. Yeah. Well, I drove down because I'm in San Gabriel. I didn't actually get a pass. Was Maddox there? I was the Justin Wang. If you know that guy, I do. Yeah, I do. Yeah, Justin's cool. Uh, was Maddox at VidCon though? No, he was there before I got there and then he heard I was coming and he left.

He caught a bus. Maddox also, yeah, I guess he does also live in LA, huh? He's funny because somebody invited. I don't know who invited me. Was it, uh, to be on the show or whatever. But anyway, when I got the invite, I'm like, oh, I'd be awesome. like, I don't know who invited me was it to be on the show or whatever. But anyway, when I got the invite, I'm like, oh, that'd be awesome. Yeah, I'd love to be on the Dick Madness podcast. And then immediately I'm like, I should go look up that Maddick's drama again.

That's hilarious. Yeah, that was the most elaborate troll ever pulled. Yeah, right? Maddick's just joking and he's still waiting to tell everybody about it. Yeah. It's just always fascinating to me that whole saga. So like occasionally I go and I watch the stupid YouTube videos about everything that went down. Yeah. And then he just ended his most recent, like, is he done with podcasting?

Yeah. I don't think he can come back. He's kind of weaning himself off. He's got this podcast about Godzilla where he's trying to bang his co-host. And I think that I don't think you can come back from that. But his biggest podcast was he just like ended it, right? Like a week ago or something. Yeah. I'd say biggest, but he had what? Like 20 people watching. He had, he would have had 20 people watching if I didn't promote it. And then it was, I don't think he ended up like, oh, your guys watching it. Yeah. Man, that's, that's so crazy. I think you ended up like all your guys watching it. Yeah, that's that's so crazy. I just know it's always that fucking a societal thing of watching a guy piss his life away. You can't look away. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Watch on a car rack or train rack or

Yeah, you're like, dude, just stop. Stop hitting the gas. You're already spacked your car once. It's so yeah, we were talking about that earlier with monkey Jones and it's so weird with internet people because they don't have any managers helping them out. Yeah. And they come from... Right, the tumbler like shut up. Yeah, they come from God knows where, they get famous instantly. Right. It's not the same. They're not prepared for it.

Not prepared for it. Yeah, when it, I mean, I mean, I feel bad, especially for like, Mumke is like a young guy, he's like 20, right? Yeah, he's 23, I think. Oh God, yeah. Yeah, let's forget that That's the thing is like so like you know You've been around when you've been around like internet stuff long enough

You've seen other people screw up their lives and you've learned lessons from it And I don't know if mumkees learn those lessons of like You know keep your personal shit off the web as much as you can and like, don't make decisions that are clearly going to get back to everybody else. Don't, I don't know, man, just like, there's no, there's no like book to give those guys, like, hey, read this, you know, fuck up your life. So it seems like the younger guys probably do it in more spectacular fashion. Well, there, but there, there are those books because the same, the same things apply in just PR in general.

Like it's like, it's a different medium. I know that there's maybe certain things that will be a little bit different, but any good PR person. I mean, nobody knew Tom Cruise was a fucking nut job until he fired his publicist. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. I think one thing That's true. Yeah. I think the, I think one thing you see is,

I mean, these guys like, you know, I got like, Mumkey, you can't get a publicist, you know. I mean, we have a friend here who's a publicist. There are like books on these kind of subjects and things like, yeah. What happened? I mean, he's got a people behind like I'm a sort of company. And I went to the company.

I said, take my name off everything we do. Yeah, I didn't say anything. You want your name on our shed? I'm like, and I went to the company. I said, take my name off everything we do. Yeah, I didn't say anything. You want your name on our shit? I'm like, no, it doesn't matter. I'm just giving it my reason. Yeah, exactly. If something goes wrong, I make a video, people get mad at or some shit.

Like, I don't want that coming back to you guys. Yeah. And like, I talked to some dudes at VidCon and they're like, oh, I never thought about doing that. I'm like, well, you should. Like, you kind of got to like really plan shit out. Do it tonight. Stop, do it immediately.

Start protecting. One thing I see the same thing over and over. And I see this in the real world, too, is people want to get there. Like they reach a point and they need to start getting their honest selves on everything, which is just the worst version of yourself. Right, right.

You know, Mumpke was talking about how he's like the difference between Mumpke and Tyler, which is his real name, and I was like, whoa, buddy, nobody on Earth wants to know Tyler, nobody on Earth wants to know. I don't want to have an hour Tyler. The reason women cake on 10 pounds of makeup before they leave the house is nobody wants to know the real them either. Nobody wants to know the real anybody. That's why we built this beautiful thing called manners and society and civilization,

where we all pretend to be something that we're definitely not. I mean, try to strive for something better. Ain't nobody, honestly. Go ahead. I can make on its content, but I'm not going to like, you know, show you pictures of who I'm dating or, you know, shit like that. Like, I have a private life and there's so many people, yeah, who like think that, oh, you know, I gotta be 100% like my fans,

they're my life, like kind of, I don't know, I feel like they're their family or some shit. You know, I've made it clear to people, I'm like, look, I love you guys, I'm so glad you guys are fans, but like, you know, as much as I want us to have like a real connection, like, we don't, it's not like we hang out, man. Like, we've never met, we've never had a beard together.

Like, me and you, and for all I know, I mean, I see so many of these creators, and they're like, all these guys are my family, you know, they got my back, and then the second they do something wrong, like all those dudes turn on them. That's a big goal, yeah. And they should.

Yeah, they should. Yeah, they said, they're like, dude, they're not your fucking family. Like, that's not your brother and sister, you're gonna have your back no matter what. You're gonna keep them going. They're gonna turn on you immediately. Don't think that they're like all in your fucking corner, man.

Yeah. All right, Vito, I got to ask what makes you a rage? Well, it makes me rage. Yeah. Oh, shit. That's a good question. Besides, I mean, fucking dumb people manage just refuse to look for the source of a news article before they just believe it wholesale.

Yeah, it's a period. It's crazy. Yeah. I guess most world news daily report and like, can you believe this guy ate 50, you know, fried chickens and killed a cop? And I'm like, okay. Cool story, man. I hope that people learn to just never believe the news.

You should start with this. I think you should start with a skeptical mindset. Yeah, I probably didn't have every news article I go into. You just learn how to read a news article. The news article itself will reveal it's hidden truth on to you, you know. It'll be like, did you hear a white guy killed the black guy and you're like, oh my god. And then you read it. And it's like, yeah, but it turned out, like just a completely different situation than what the headline entails. There's even a complete story.

They're like, a black lady's gonna be 007. I'm like, oh, that's, that sounds terrible. Why are they doing that? And then I read the article and so like, well, actually, James Bond is still in the movie and then he's temporarily been replaced. Oh my God. Okay.

Yeah. Much more reasonable. Um, every headline is just built back out of retirement and whatever else. I'm like, Oh, well, then it's still a James Bond movie. It's not a black lady movie.

I don't know, man. Again, it's just, it's just, you can't just read the headlines. It's crazy. All right. Or get at least give it a, give it a minute. Right.

Let it, let it pan out. Yeah. Yeah. I could probably rant all day about misinformation. So I'll shut your mouth for now. Well, come in, come in sometime. Let's do it all. I'll be in time. Have your buddies Twitter, DM or something. I'll send a little message.

Cool. I'll find you. Thanks buddy. Excellent job. Excellent job. YouTube.com slash Vito VITO. There you go. You're gonna love it.

All right. See you buddy. See're gonna love it. All right. See you, buddy. See you. Hey, Cantillians, you in here? Hey, what's up, Dick? What's up, dude? How you doing? So your podcast, the Kristen Cant show, is the funniest thing I've heard in a long time.

You do it with Chris? I do it with Chris live every Wednesday. Oh, phenomenal. Yeah. It is one of the hardest, yet funniest things I've ever done in my entire life. We have to listen here. I've got a series of clips all the time here.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. This was all from last week and it was, it was quite something to say the least. I happened to tune in randomly, to hear them going at it. And Cantillians has like this approach with Chris will hear, he'll hear him out on, yeah, pretty much everything. He sounds different

than when he calls into this show too. Yeah, you don't want to stop him too much because it, you might not get the gold. Yeah. No, that's a whole thing is that he just rants and it just it becomes podcast and radio gold. I tried to, you know, I tried interrupting him at first, but then I realized that there is so much entertainment to be had from this guy. So I just I just let it go and see where it see what happens. Okay, you're kind of clicking. Can you record locally? Oh, fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Cantillians is the weakest link in this podcast. He's always fucking up the audio. He fucked up the audio last week.

What I know, I know my favorite clips in this list. I mean, I'm listening to, I'm listening to Chris the Kiwi and Cantillian's talk and most of the way through the, I almost at the end, Chris the Kiwi has a meltdown about his own audio Being played back to him. Oh, that's where he's threatening like Aggressively threatening to slit women's throats. What? Well allegedly according to Chris This was not him it did not sound like him and it was somebody else that was pretending to be Chris

Is that this okay? I mean like a like that was pretending to be Chris. Oh boy. Is that this? Okay. I mean, like a guy pretending to be a woman, but he can't seem to tell. I'm going to start with some basic vaccine stuff. Oh good. Oh, this is Chris on vaccines cause gender confusion. Okay. Good.

How did you and testosterone get so low if you don't drink beer, if you stay away from soy, how come yours are so low? Well, it's funny you should say that because vaccines do actually, they actually have, they can change it gender, identity or so on, so vaccines can actually contribute to people being homosexual. Oh, I really have a good feeling about that. Because vaccines contain human DNA and that's the fact because I was reading a version of the doctor's office and it's the fact that vaccines do contain human DNA and that's what causes.

That's what causes gender confusion. Uh, so in a fight. Awesome. A brochure. A brochure. And a doctor's like an advertisement. Yeah. Uh, try human DNA.

Not happy with your gender. Yeah. Here. Let's, let's, let's, which one should I play here? I'll play the one where he's talking about me. Uh, there you go. Go for that one where he's talking about me. There you go. Go for that one. That's good versus Maddox.

Chris, who do you think would win? Dick or Maddox? Think about this very carefully. I reckon I think it would fight in a fight. Yeah. Maddox probably. Maddox. Oh, you think Maddox.

Yeah. Okay. Why do you think that? Well, I think maybe Maddox, I don't know much about him, but I'll just get the impression that he's probably got a lot more screples and dick evidences. So translate. Yeah, like you know, more morals probably and I don't think it wants it.

So you're saying that Maddox has more morals than than dick, even though he suits people for $20 million. Well, people don't see people for no reason, you know, like everyone's got, everyone has feelings, everyone gets upset, so I can imagine why someone would, I can imagine why someone like Maddox would be totally pissed. I'm sure he can, because anyone who gets upset would do it. Actually, he's a normal person.

That's so hard. Anyone who gets upset with me is a normal person. I'm going to, here's the stripper one. Oh, this one's great. Yeah, okay, here's the stripper one. No, we did not. Chris, so Chris, you told me a story earlier on today that you were hanging out with some strippers, why don't we get into that?

What actually happened was I was sitting outside on the side wall, a side wall bench, a park bench. Well, you know those park benches that they have. I was sitting on the side wall on a bench right, and I was making this a go and three or four strippers who were nearby, they're off work, they're actually not working at night but they were near where they were. They were working and they came and said, they're going. And one of them, who was a red head, she started flirting with me and she says, oh, she

blew me a kiss like she had to go and she blew me a kiss, but she had to go and she blew me a kiss or something like that. And she says, if you want to see me or be my customer or whatever, this is the night that I work on and that's how I speak to her. Do you hang out around these areas often like where these strippers are taking a break? Yeah, I do. Yesterday I just, I just like chatting on my patch. Do you hang out around these areas often like where these strippers are taking a break? Yeah, I do. I'm yesterday. I'll just I'll just like chatting on my page. So, so you so you go outside of the strip bar essentially for to maybe strike up a conversation. Can't tell you his audio all there. I'm doing this clip. I don't know. I don't know. I can't sleep at what the

hell are you doing on your audio that you sound great on this court doing? You got to record you got to simplify your recording I Got to do a lot of things in my life and that's definitely one of them Yeah, all right. Wait. When does he start talking about the the stripper on this one the payment the payment just like another 30 seconds Okay, here you go. The reason why I sit down on the benches because It's a comfortable and I'll just dislike that spot. I'll dislike that spot to have a smake. I don't do it intentionally. I dislike going to that area because a lot of people walking past and a lot of girls and stuff, you know. But it just so happens to be right behind a

strip bar where you can strike up a conversation. Just a pinch in the city. Organizmically perfect for his bare ass. Just be honest. If she wasn't interested in me, what would she say differently to me? You tell me. She would not invite you to come to see her while she worked. Oh, wait, he thinks she's romantically interested in him? Yeah, that's what he would think. Abs.

Absolutely. He thinks that the fact that anybody's even talking to him means that she actually wants to take him back home. Okay. One hundred percent. So I could just take her out. So I could just get her out of my head then. Yes, I would recommend getting her out of your head immediately. Unless you want to go, unless you want to go to the strip club and see your tits, but you're going to have to pay

for it. Oh God, that rush. Maybe you should just go back to that same benchits, but you're gonna have to pay for it. Oh god, that brush. Maybe you should just go back to that same bench though, but be careful if you stay around there too long, they may get the cops called their bud. What the hell are you doing? What are you doing on this? I don't know. I'm trying to fix the audio when I press it all.

Why does it do that? It goes shh. Every time I breathe with super low end into it, sounds like an exhale. Why is it going up right now? It goes shh. Every time I know. I don't know. Super low end into it. Sounds like an exhale. What's super low end? Why is it going up right now? I have no idea. It's not fucking up now.

This is what's on SoundCloud. Oh, I don't know. Where is the semi-low there? Oh, there's low tone in it. It's sent me. That is just every single time, whoosh. Send me, put the other playlist in the chat. It also sounds like he's compressing the ever-living shit.

Yeah. I'm not an audio engineer. I don't know what I'm doing. But you have ears. I do have ears trying to fix it. Okay. I'm just going to play this. It's so bad.

It's fucking sad. I know it's bad. I'm going to play the Janice, the Janice voicemail. If we can listen to it. All right, Chris, I can clean a lot of that up. All right. This show's going off the rails. Let's listen to some voicemail. Let's listen to some voicemail.

Oh, you're talking about voicemail. Yeah. Were there any, were there any females this time? I got a message from Janice. All right. The answer to my Janice. All right. And so, my Janice has to say, he's so excited. He's absolutely excited. Okay, Janice.

I'm sorry, I didn't leave like an email or a number the last time we talked. So this is obviously a man, right? Okay. So just my phone, I have really bad reception except for when I'm at work. But I can get emails on my phone through Wi-Fi. So just email me at jannis.

J-A-N-I-D-E-M, like Mary at mailinator.com. Can't wait to hear from you. Ooh. So Chris, have you emailed her yet? She sounds sexy. Yeah, well, you see me that message on the DM. So I've already listened to that one. Other people have it. I'm just trying to make sure that people know that Janice is still out there listening and waiting for you. Well, I emailed in, and you said you're going to chase it up and say that I emailed you and I'm just wondering why she hasn't responded. Well, then let's then, then Kiwi, then I want you to ask

Janice right now over the podcast to please message you back. Give her like, give her reason why she should message you. Hi Jan Janice. This is Chris. I got your message. I'd love to say thank you very much for that. I'm sorry that I was a bit rude and frustrated. I thought you were ignoring me, so I'd really appreciate it. If you could just please check your emails and respond to me. But if you haven't received any emails, you probably got your email wrong.

So please, can you do this really carefully spell out your email, just in case you haven't got my email. I'll just make a special answer. I'll just make a special answer. But please let me know if you've received my email, okay? Love you. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait I'm not. I'll do one more. I'll do one more. Okay. All right. This is, I think this was, this was the meltdown that I heard when I, when I was listening, I haven't been able to stop laughing at it here. Okay.

Oh, wait, do you give more, you give some more? Yeah, that's so essentially what happened. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that.

I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I, I haven't been able to stop laughing at it here. Okay. Oh, wait, do you give more, you give some more? Yeah, that's so essentially what happened is that since we do voice mails every week, I decided to play a voice mail that I received anonymously

on to our show and I wasn't sure who it was. I wasn't sure if it was Chris, wasn't sure if somebody threatening Chris. So I decided to play for it for him. Okay, here you go Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa That was that was mean Oh Actually, I've done it to a woman that said me before and I do I do the same thing to you too.

Wait. Wait, what? Who? Christy, do you know who that is? I've got no idea. I'm the second bit child of the split you'll throw. Hey, I'm, I love the second bit. I'm the second basher.

I've done a total woman that said me before before and I do I do the same thing to you too. Hello, fucking bitch. I like the split you'll throw. Can't do that. Yeah. Are you gonna edit all that out? No, is that is that you? No, that's not you. Just how will you edit all this out? Why why would I edit it out? Just how will you edit all this out? Why would I edit it out? It's pretty bad. Can you do that? Edit out this? So if I can bash you, I've done it till woman that said me before

and I do the same thing to you, do you? Yeah, tell me. Tell me, you're upsetting me. You're feeling upset about this? I'm in the parking lot show, I just split you all through. This is great. I don't know if it was me, it does sound like my voice, but I just can't remember.

Someone must have played my message, so I don't really know. It does sound like me, but I don't know if it's true. So, but what would the context be if you would say this? I don't know if it's a woman that shared me before, and I do the same thing to you two. Why did you actually play a model of times? I don't know how to woman that chair me before and I do the same thing to you two Why did you actually um play a vulnerable times?

Because I was trying to see if it was really you and I didn't was that was that playing over discord. I didn't realize that I don't know Okay, so it was playing while I apologize I was just trying to see if that was you or not I was confused I never would think that that Chris forever say something like that I you were not. I was confused. So I never would think that that Christopher ever say something like that. I don't know if it was me. I'll just say I probably have to think about it, but we can talk about it a little later today. Okay, we can talk about it later today. All right. Oh my god. All right. Can't tell you it's good to get out of here. I love that show.

We listen to it all the way down to VidCon. Um, crippled Jesus calls it. Love that you guys love it. It's it's a good time. It's you know, I do it. I do it for cast. Like Chris Cant. The Chris Cant. Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah, Randy knows his show. All right, buddy. See you later. All right. Thanks, guys. See ya. Good, God.

And then he goes, Chris goes on on the episode to tell Cantillin, he's gonna wipe that smile office face. Oh. He's gonna stop laughing at him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good God. And then he goes, Chris goes on on the episode

to tell Cantillin, he's gonna wipe that smile off his face. Oh. He won't stop laughing at it. Yeah. Yeah. It's just, I keep imagining like a news broad, a proper news broadcaster broadcast doing that. Two guys reading the news and then one guy

having a homicidal. Yeah. Yeah. Attack. Let me see, let me see here. All right everybody, I'm gonna play another song here. The kid who dated Lou was in here, I know, but I... The kid that Lou was banging and...

Yeah, now how old is Lou? She's 20 something. Yeah, so 20's. They're all like early 20's, right? But they're 21. I guess I'm just not really that bent out of shape about a 21 year old woman banging a 16 year old kid or a 15 year old kid.

Like it's illegal, but you know, doesn't matter which, what gender is, is what? Yeah, because women are stupid. Yes, of course it matters. Like what do you want to scramble the jets? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I would have it is it's obviously horrible.

But what are you going to do? I'm just yeah, what are you going to do? If it was the other way around, I would be a lot more upset about it. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. And I don't think that that's what I thought. I don't think that there's anything wrong with that. It's the same thing when the, yeah, when it's a male teacher, female student versus

that female teacher, female teacher, male student. Because women can be pressured into things. I feel differently. What do you want? Yeah, I just don't equate them. Yeah, I just don't, student because women can be pressured into things. I feel differently. What do you want? Yeah. I just don't equate them. Yeah. I just don't because of a difference between men and women.

Yeah, that's why. I feel, I think mentally, a whatever, teenage boys, a lot closer to a 21-year-old chick than like a 18-year-old chick is to like a 35, 40 year old man. One of those is, one of those is worse. But you know, once you're 18, your body belongs to society, I guess, everything about you. Yeah, all of a sudden your mental development doesn't matter at all. No, then go to war. But yeah, get out there.

There's a reason why they want you as young as possible because that part of your brain that really understands mortality. More consequences, mortality, that ain't done yet. It's not because an 18 year old is a better soldier as far as athletics or anything. You're not, you're not, you're not done at 18. You're like an athlete's prime is like, is like between like, you know, 23 to 27. Yeah. Like that, you filled out, you've got all that kind of stuff.

You can get talked into shit. It's because you can get talked into shit. You can talk into doing shit. Yeah. All right, everybody, this is, oh man, I got two songs I didn't fucking play. Here's Anthony Charles Cordeero, S-Quire, with the best debate my way.

I like that video guy. Yeah, he's cool. I didn't know if you would be. It seems like remarkably well-adjusted. Yeah. There we go. Best debate my way. What?

Ha, ha, ha. And now? debate my way. And now the end is near and so I face the final recording. My friends, I'll say it clear I'll state my case factually and boring I've written two and a half books I've traveled down The internet's super but more much more than this I did it my way regrets not even what I know it then again, I'm pretty much perfect.

I did what I had to do and saw it through despite that jerk dip. I built my name from scratch I never could have on my own website Nobody was all worth it For I did it my way. Yes, there were times I should have you. When I took on more than I could see. And when the days came into town, I'd like to take space.

It's good. I'm just like, it's really building it. I had no balls, but I did it by way. It is far away Oh! I've cried I've cried I've cried I've had my fun

But now I've done do I've done do a dick too My color bright Took my pride And now my fans do To think I see for that And my day has not been a shy way, no, oh no not me. I did it my way, for what is a cock? What has he got, if not his school goals, then he has a nut to say the things that he truly feels. On his podcast, the 50,000 is the record shows. Shot the envelope.

That my show blows, cause I did it. Ha ha ha ha ha! Are you wet? Oh. Wow. You can make a dear to your friends. Ron Taylor. Now he went through it. Rock, go. Thanks, everyone. We've been here to your friends, Ron Taylor. Now he went through it by the bank, everything.

No, we've been ending this show around the world. Oh, sorry, sorry, it's taking long to stand like this. Let's do it one more time. You know what? Thank you just to Ron and Rucker. Yes, I did it. Wow! That's beautiful. That's how the show should have ended. Anthony Charles Zessquire, absolutely wonderful, amazing, amazing tribute.

Let me get one guy in here. Sean, I don't want to stop today. I got nothing. I've got nothing to do today. But sit around and try not to drink. That's all I've got going on today. Yeah, let me get this B-cluster. Which one is the real B-cluster in here?

Not Cameron, B-cluster, you there? You're going my life? Yeah, you're live. Is this the right one? Yeah, no, this is the right one. Okay. Okay, I know it's the right one because the other one's telling me,

oh no, I like Cameron Clark. All right, this is, I got this message, we crank up his volume. Yeah, sure it. I got this message on Facebook, or Reddit, and I've been meaning to bring this guy in for a long time. This is very gratifying, very funny message. I'm a cook, it starts.

I'll get right to the point. No, no, no, I look and sound like a cook, but how it was the title. Oh, was it? I'm sorry. I look and sound like a cook. I'll get right to the point. I both look and sound like Maddox.

I'm six foot three, bald and skinny fat. My voice is nasally and impossible to listen to. I once took a Facebook IQ test and thought I was a genius. We know a guy like that. I've changed many of my ways and although it's no longer the case, everyone I spent time with used to hate me. That sucks. How did you know that?

He's on the phone right now. I got a lot of feedback from that. I would take a cursory look at complicated subjects and repeat stolen quotes from experts. I was a huge Maddox fan growing up. I am 29. Carl Young said that we are all living out of myth, whether we are aware of it or not. It's pronounced Jung. I knew word. I knew word by word most of his articles and was influenced heavily by his writing. I assume he means Maddox, not Carl Jung. I suspect I was living the mythology of Maddox and I experienced complete ruination before changing my ways. You did. This is not absolutely run through the ruinator. This is not a satirical take. My heart is literally pounding at this revelation. The only saving grace was a healthy helping of dick,

which has made me accountable and turn my life around. I may have no money and a dysfunctional parental complex, but I have something that Maddox doesn't have a huge helping of Dick. Thank you. You're welcome. What happened to you, sir? Tell me more about this letter.

Well, it's absolutely the most honest thing that I have ever written in my life. I wasn't joking in any fashion when I said that my heart was pounding. I really doubted myself when I actually hit the send. I don't know if I do regret it after all of this, but honestly, I really do feel like as kind of a comedic as I kind of made this to be, I really do feel like that was a big part of the arrogance and the absolute inability to, the inability to actually stick to anything, the inability to actually put yourself out there.

I really do feel like I was in his headspace that he's in right now for a very long time. Really? Like, how do you recognize that and what made you stop and how did you stop? Like, what made you, you got a lot of, you just want to say you're great. No, I want more than that. I want everyone to understand how good I am.

Well, it was you. But you've got a lot of specifics, like online IQ tests taking cursory looks. These are all just kind of manifestations of somebody who's narcissistic. And I've written on Reddit that I believe him to be somebody who he would qualify for the narcissistic personality disorder. Yeah.

Seems to have some traits for most likely at this, at this point in his life. And the Facebook IQ tests and the, the just, you know, copying expert quotes and never really learning anything. And this is all just kind of manifestations of a narcissist. And I didn't really, it wasn't a choice that I really had because at some point in my life,

I had just had so many failures and I lost so many relationships that I'm like, I'm really going to be an insane person if I try to keep this entire messaught up right now, which I see Maddox doing with the whole, well, I'm wrapping up the Eastery. Yeah. You know, I really, really identify. I really identify with that right now. What do you mean wrapping up tree? Was he? Did he have home there? Yeah. Yeah. So he obviously hasn't quite given enough, right? And it's very difficult for people who are that narcissistic to actually change.

I don't know if he's going to do it. I think he has enough shitty Hollywood comedic contact to try and leach off of for a very, very good long time, which is actually to his detriment. Oh, yeah, definitely. What did this show or me do to make you change and what happened in your real life to make you change? Because I've learned only through reading Reddit and guys who do have an NPT diagnosis or have worked on it.

Everything I know is from there. And it seems totally incurable. Like even if you're aware of it, it's like most therapists will agree that it's very difficult to get anywhere or not really, it's one of the bad ones. I know you love your therapist, Sean. Well, they're the mental health professionals. Well, I mean, that's the, you know, I don't know. You helped this guy.

I'll tell you what, no, no, no, I honestly believe that you give really good advice in almost every case. What was the ones that I don't really good advice in almost every case. What was the ones that I don't give good advice on? Because otherwise you have to say every case. If you can't remember one that is not good advice, it's every case. No. Don't just color it with almost every

because you can't think of an example. No, more, it's more probably what you don't know. What I don't know? You don't know an example of me giving not great advice. No, you do give great advice. I can't come up with one where you didn't give, where you didn't give good advice. I'm sure we've disagreed on it before.

Yeah, okay. Be clustered. What was, help me out with that. What did it for you? So I never would have actually qualified for an NPD diagnosis. Like that's actually quite far down the spectrum. And so like generally those people,

generally those people don't really ever make any improvements on it. My situation was I went through a tremendous cuckoning by one of my best friends. And this coincided with me becoming a degenerate alcoholic and it wasn't until that I had been fired and pretty much pissed off everybody in my entire life where... Wow! Again, I realized I'm like, I had lost my career and I'm getting now into my late twenties and and trying to continue on with this, I'm smarter than everybody. That's a tough one. It was very, very difficult to actually give that up. When I did,

I was basically just a hollow shell of a person, I didn't have a personality. Yeah, who am I? It's taken me a few years. It, yeah, it's taken me a few years to, like kind of redevelop the type of person that I will. I get it. And I can see why nobody ever actually comes back from Deceptic, and I wasn't even as far gone. A lot of people. What was the cuckoning that happened to you years ago?

Uh, my, uh, my best friend, um, started having sex with my, uh, my girlfriend for about, like, three weeks before I found out. She also stole my credit card and asked up about $5,000. Oh, um, she turned out, by the way, so with the set with what I know about personality disorders now she was a She was a nurse borderline something along those lines. So you ruined her life a lot. Yeah, yeah, did you ruin her life a lot? Oh, yeah I mean no, just you can call her chic of light. Yeah, it was like you did this to me or... Because you did to me in real life! Are you caused me to do this or... I sacrificed so much for you! When I found out that she had ripped off my credit card for that, I'm like, you, I've been watching a lot of the sopranos. It was during a winter break in my school.

And I went over and I'm like, you gotta sign that car over to me right now. I'm going to do it. So she signs her shitty piece of shit car over and her parents find out. And they say, okay, you know, well, she made up some phony baloney thing that, you know, she got an accident, and I lent her money or some poor shit. So I have to meet them to sign the car over so they can pay me money. And I was like running like 10 minutes late. And she calls me like, where are you? Everybody's waiting for you. And I'm like, you mother fucker, are you fucking serious? Like this is how these people think.

What do you mean this is how they think? This is how these narcissistic fucking people think. They honestly think that they're absolutely no matter what they do. it's always justified and they, and this is what I'm going on as long as you have. Yeah, and he's still going. Yeah, well, he's, it sounds like you were in a different place where you, see, okay, I think you and I probably have a lot in common because when I was growing up, I was the smart guy. Like I always, I Incredibly high on these whatever tests they get you know standard I have a test. Yeah, right. I'm off the top of the charts off the charts All this kind of stuff and I like I like Studying a lot of things so it was always be like oh he'll know blah blah blah and here's the danger with that

You'll start to go well, I'm a smart guy, and I was right about this, and I was right about that. Therefore, I can speak intelligently on things that I have no idea about. And it's very common, and then you wanna dig in, it's like a blow to your ego if you're wrong. You know, like I grew up learning to be a perfectionist for my own father. So it's like, but it's like I grew up learning to be a perfectionist for my own father.

So it's like, but it's like so much mental weight is lifted when you get to the point where you can be wrong about something and go, well, shit. Okay. Now I know it's different than that. It's, it's, it's so much better than than having to protect your fragile ego, digging your heels in and going and twisting it in such a way that you're still right. Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah, absolutely. And watching the biggest problem in the universe, one of the things that I noticed is

that, you know, Maddox comes out immediately with all the stuff he's done and all the stuff that he knows. And, you know, to fillet dick a little bit, you didn't hear about any of his actual, really impressive life accomplishments or any. It took me a long time to figure out that he was vastly superior. Where he went to school, what he's done is true. It took me a long time It took me a lot of time and I really, you know, I really, you know, had some admiration for that, right?

But he didn't need to be the like seem like the smartest guy. That's just a marketing decision. I don't want people to think that I've gone to school or anything. I play that. I play that up because for money for the money. That's the only reason that I do that. Nobody wants to listen to somebody who thinks they're smarter than everybody.

Yeah, it's a real deal. That's true, that's very masturbatory. I think that would have happened to me. Like my mom was very big on valuing as a child, like saying, oh, you're so smart and you can gift it and all this other shit. But my dad was not. That's the only reason that I'm not an unbearable prick

more than I already am. That's a good ending. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Like, he was always fucking Lord. Like, always, there's only concern. Any moment was money.

You gotta think about money. Don't think that you're smart. The smarts doesn't mean shit. There's a lot of smart people in the world who are broke. Do got to think about money. Don't think that you're smart. The smarts doesn't mean shit. There's a lot of smart people in the world who are broke. Do not, like, right. No, it's a good thing to learn. It's a good thing to, yeah, intelligence is not the be-all-end all of how successful your life is if you're judging it from, you know, that kind of a perspective. I never liked like money. I never asked him if he did that on purpose. Or he said, I don't even want to, I don't want to know.

I don't know if he knows. I mean, he was just going to take credit for it either way. That's true. That's true. That's true. All right. Does anything make you a rage? But I, yeah, the discord, the discord people have been really means to me on there.

Oh, why? They're posting all of my, all of my Reddit posts, and they're very, it's just a very negative space there. Yeah. You want a big fan? Do you want to slit their throats? Or cut their tits off? I don't want to go.

Oh, I actually interviewed Chris, I'm an aspiring journalist, right? I work for a local paper. I work for a local paper. Would you say you're a writer? 35 minute. Hey, that was me. I do some call. I'm not. This isn't a mad oxy. And um, uh, you just sound like a bad oxy.

I know. I told, I told you that I did. Didn't I? Yeah. Right in the, uh, the other side. Yeah. I was interested to see what this guy would actually be like, what on one? I didn't really get a whole, oh, he did tell me to tell you that if he's going to come back, he wants to be paid and he said, how much do I think I'm like, I'm fucking, yeah, I don't know.

And he came with, he wants to be paid $1,000. Wait, I have a voicemail about that. I want to play right now. Hold on. Oh, yeah. I heard him talking about it on the Chris and cast. Chris can't cast. Here's him talking about how he wants to be compensated

for being on this show. If Dick was here right now, what would you say to him? Oh, yeah, he may have my own divide of Tishie, maybe listening, but his attitude thinks. Is that Dena, is that Dena person I'm talking to, he said his podcast is a comedy podcast and he's there just to make fun of that. Make fun of that. Comedy is going a little bit too far there Chris.

Funny I don't know about that. He knows that I'm good belly on the show and he hasn't really, I've't know about that. You know, he said, I'm good belly on the show. And he hasn't really, I've given the show, but he hasn't given anything back to me. The money was because I'm trying to make a bit of money here. And how much money would be enough for you to go on the show? I think probably, okay, I'll say at least 500 each ton of going to show.

$500 each time you go on the show, man, you're low-balling there. You can get weight. Oh, thanks, Kentillians. Is it right? How much? Yeah, way more. Come on. Up it up a little bit.

Yeah, there you go. So, yeah, $500. I do kind of want to give him a chance to win some money. If he can guess, if he can guess. If he can guess whether someone who's talking is a man or a woman, that's good. And we'll give him, I'll give him a hundred bucks, or maybe 50 bucks. No. No, a hundred bucks. I give him a hundred bucks every time he can guess correctly, whether or not someone is a man or a woman, we'll do five of them. That's good. That's good. Australian bucks. I told him, I told him, I thought that maybe he could like put,

like he agreed with this, that maybe he could have his own merchandise on the Dixho, so he wanted me to bring that up too. Oh, fuck no. He can't have merchandise on the Dixho, but I will let him win, I will let him win some money. All right, buddy. So you're a writer too, you're a journalist. Yeah. Wait, do we get to what makes you a writer too, you're a journalist. Yeah.

Wait, do we get to what makes you a rage? I don't think so. Yeah, do you? Yeah, the fucking discord. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, all right, all right, get out here. We gotta go. Hey, Cameron Clark, I know,

that guy is a fucking complete dancer. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm glad I could help you with your with your problem. Oh, it's been the Dixho. Patreon.com slash the Dixho. Anything else? No, you played Frank Sinatra. Oh, yeah, shit. Well, I'll just go into Facebook news. All right.

By Hayes and Cruz Facebook news. Hello, Dick and hello, Dickheads. This is the Facebook group news from the last couple of days. Jordan Ling reports a quickly emerging division amongst the dickheads between freedom loving Americans who say fuck the police and boop looking faggy brits who love cops. Patrick Mace asked if Jordan Ling has a posting license. David Resky claims that there are a bunch of dickheads that are pro bootlicking but hate cops. Chanel Cruz announces her uncle is wanted on a $25,000 warrant for theft and forgery and asks if anyone else is a famous uncle.

The comments were littered with unimportant things people's family members have done or how much money they have made. Christy Flowers says his uncle is a millionaire. Raphael Cosscus says that explains the touching and how Christie became what he is. Our Deesh Carrell posts screenshots of a conversation with Rommel's girlfriend, where she cries about UK dickheads making fun of her pizza face. Many people in the comments, including Rommel's allegedly pizza-faced girlfriend, say that the screenshots are fake news.

Nick Wilhelm says that if Romm Ronald loved her, he'd never post about his girlfriend on Facebook. That's true. Tells you, Nupinth asked the group, was something you started to do ironically, but now do unironically. Some of the best answers include Scott Kelly, jerk off to gay porn, Matt Maranelli, be a racist, and Tim Johnson say things like big oof. This has been the Facebook group news for the last couple of days. Oh good job guys. Thank you. Thank you very much. I think that was a I think I'm gonna mix up his name Riley at Riley Z. The guy who wrote the song earlier. Ah Riley of eG. I was uh Vizzy G. That was what it is. Hey, Alex. Hey, Sean. Hey, theX, hey, Sean. The thing that's making me a rage this week is the dumb area 51 means.

I don't know if any of those people are actually going to show up, but if they do, do they actually think that the government would keep anything there? I don't know. It doesn't make sense to me. Also I am a rage about not getting to have as much fun with the lawsuit that Nick Bracket is having with the decision. I would have loved to see Maddox and Jeff breeding their tweets and trying to justify any of that. Thanks. Go fuck yourself. Yeah, the Vic Lasagna case.

Yeah, these clowns that are suing him made it all the way to depositions. So the guy whose wife, God damn this, my wife. I don't know if I fly on her. The guy whose wife said she was raped or whatever assaulted by Vic, and he's the one who

is messaging conventions. He pretended to be offering sponsorship to conventions on behalf of the mortgage company he worked for, but it's unclear that he was authorized to do so. It seems to be that he was only offering it to withdraw it under the condition that Vic was undis invited. And that's proven. That's part's proven. The motive is not but

his ass ron soye ron soye ron toyaz is real name he was deposed and it was just painfully smug yeah like he's sitting there going over tweets that are all different like saying that vixxia criminal and all this and there's hundreds of women and binders full of women and the guy can't answer whether or not it's his Twitter account. He got it. Oh, yeah. I mean, I think it is. It's like, dude, it's just got yes or no.

Like yes or no. And did you make this tweeting? Oh, it seems like I did. Yeah. Depends on what your definition of is is. Up into the quote of the of the of the of the century, which is, well, do you remember making it or not? And he goes, I don't remember making it or not. Dude, what are you? What do you? What do you think you're doing? You're not pulling one over. No,

you're just, you look like a liar. Yeah. A huge evasive fuck. You are now on video going up against a professional voice actor who's going to come in and emote the fuck out of this read. Like, do you not understand how bad you look? Cause it's not what you're actually saying does not matter. You just look like the most unlikeable prick who's ever been committed to video and you're going up against a professional voice actor. The most emotional kind of acting, you're fucked.

You're so fucked. You and your fat-cut wife are so fucked. All because of it's gonna be so great to see them. I gotta catch up on a lot of news. Yeah, I'll see if Nick can come in and give some the broad strokes of it, but it's so fucking funny. Um, he also said area 51. Are you following that? They're going to bum rush area 51.

Oh, really? And that sounds like a great idea. Yeah. I'm sure that won't end horribly for anyone involved. Not it's going to work. Oh, I did. What do you do it? You fucking do it. You fucking ret... what do you do it fucking do it

fucking retarded no do it don't listen to shan he's a fed he works for the government bum rush area fifty one there's aliens in there there's also aliens in the vault of every bank and the federal reserve also has a considerable amount of alien technology in the basement rush them next then the pentagon they can't stop everyone. They fucking can't. Oh, I think they can.

Oh, another one. Couple more. Yeah. Well, it makes me a rage is fucking veterans and people who feel the need to virtue signal by jerking off veterans in public. Then, in line at the gas station, he had my goddamn coffee, and there's some old ass man wearing,

some 70, 80-year-old guy walking around showing off in his fucking Vietnam medals and his military caps and some bitch in line, stop the coffee. Stop the damn line, stop the moivr, the cashier, she can be like, and some some bitch in line flies a coffee at the online stops them from going up the cashiers to be like sir I just want to let you know that we we appreciate what you get for our country

blah blah blah country Vietnam you stupid puns if it was Vietnam like I was doing the goddamn army so I can get jerked off by stupid people for the rest of my life yeah bird yeah yeah it's funny so I can get jerked off by stupid people for the rest of my life. Ford. Yeah. Yeah, it's funny.

Have you ever seen the stolen valor people? Yo, yeah. Maybe they're not so, maybe I like that they get busted. I like when people get busted for anything. Yeah, I also like that they're doing it. It's also when when. Yeah. Knowing that they're doing it increases my happiness. Yep. And then they get busted and they get busted right that's great too

They get all macho. Oh, you stole this talent. There's only a lot of that. Oh, yeah, it works both ways I want to try it. I want to try to steal see if I can get away with it. Yeah, see if I can steal some valor Good experiment of my own. Yeah Hey, Sean. Hey, of my own. Yeah. Hey, Dick, hey, Sean. Hey, Matt from Georgia. What's up? Let me tell you what makes me a fucking rage.

There is not a single button on a microwave that does what you want it to do. You go to heat something up and you think, yeah, I'll probably need to heat this up for like 25 seconds and you hit the two and I swear to God Over half the damn microphones. I've ever used I guess we'll go to two minutes It'll just start you press to yeah, and it's dirty for two minutes. Why I asked around to make sure I'm not just some kind of smooth Brain in the andr saw

Uh-huh to see if people in general go up to a microwave and think i want to type in the time i want to cook i have a great time but why do i have to do that i like i want to just type in the time it started and then get around on my phone for the amount of time because i have the attention span of a goldfish and it's not even just the

but like the none-pad thing there's a whole bunch of other buttons on there that don't even do that they span of a goldfish and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and I don't trust that one at all because I've tried to use it and it seems to come out more frozen than when I put it in there I don't understand how and then it's got other buttons like Snacks my microwave does a beverage but That or much less like take a beer can I don't understand Markly I just want what my go I don't know I just want one microwave. I don't know. It's only what I want. How much water?

Nine buttons, a start button, and an end button. I guess 10 buttons, because you need a zero. But fuck, fuck, someone needs to make a decent microwave for a normal human brain. Every button is more esoteric than the last on a microwave. I have seen the like the, you know, ad minute button or whatever, but I've never, I've never come across wanting something for 20 seconds and having it go two minutes by pushing the two.

Mine does. My old one. My old one did not. It worked like a, it looked like, it worked like a calculator like normal. So how do you get 20 seconds? Me. I have to press and then wait. Random buttons and then wait.

Oh, God. Not one single button on any microwave behaves like any other microwave because they're helping, right? They just keep mixing the buttons around like a Rubik's Cube. It's the auto correct of the microwave world. It's like, oh, you mean two minutes, right? Two, go, two minutes.

No, I want a 20 seconds. No one on Earth has ever changed the power level of a microwave. We don't even conceptually know what that means. I don't know why I'm even thinking why magical space rays need their power adjusted. Yeah. I need two, I need the microwave right now.

I don't need 3% of the microwave activating. I don't need, I just need it to pop, I just need it to do like three simple things. If you press D for Austin a microwave, it should say, hey, retard, put that in hot water in the sink, don't use a microwave for what you're doing. It's gonna taste like shit. Yeah.

That's true. They've got a picture of a whole roast on my microwave. I don't know what that's for. I don't know who's putting a turkey in the microwave. Yeah, I mean... It's the one appliance that needs to be smart. It's not. I'd rather just have a start stop button on the front and that's it.

Yeah. I'll that's it. Yeah I'll time it myself. Yeah. Oh Here's here's a spicy one Man, here's my fucking rage. This fucking little mermaid movie man This this fucking movie. This is just gonna be so I know where this is going Shit man. It's going to be bullshit. Oh yeah. They fucking this fucking casting with this fucking movie man. They're going to ruin the fucking tone of one of the most iconic fucking

dude. This is a man. Ever fucking. That's not a lot of stuff. That's not a lot of stuff. The most iconic didn't spawned ever. Oh, fucking ruined. Yeah. iconic didn't even ever all fucking ruined yeah this horseshit like

how the fuck could they have possibly cast more or some McCarthy is fucking Ursula. Oh, what the fuck is this shit? Oh, I see. Okay well, this is just too much. Okay. I can't That was pretty good. Mermaids would be black. Pretty good, wouldn't they? Melissa McCarty, isn't it? Cause I don't know.

Okay, cause dolphins, do mermaids breathe air or do they have gills? They must breathe air, cause they have a mouth. They have like a... Yeah, they do, but they can, they can sing. They can basically, yes, so they have lungs, right? Although you can, like, you need this. They fight vocal cords or what? Like, okay. I mean, I think they're supposed to be able to just stay underwater indefinitely. I've never seen a whale. I've never seen a

mermaid like, like, surface. Well, no, whales have to surface. But so would, how would anyone ever see a mermaid then? They have to be re there. They like to frolic on the rocks. Then they could definitely breathe there. They can breathe, maybe they can breathe both. Oh, okay, I'll give you that. So let's let me, let me, because I think they're, I think they're supposed to be black. Okay. That's what I'm saying. Okay. Because if they like Adolfin evolved onto land and then went and got lungs and then went back into water Right. Yeah. Yeah. So when the mermaid have been a human in Africa. Okay, and then gone back into the water A mermaid kind of a humongous or something and then gone a mammal of human would have gone back into the water

There was only black people around at that time, right? I'm following you. Didn't they, they started as black. And then the out of Africa movement is kind of the most accepted, right? I think that's right. Yeah. Mesopotamia.

Were they white there? Were the first people white? Well, Mesopotamia was just like the first kind of, like, civilization. That's way, way, way way for way for way more recent than just homo sapiens. Okay, were the first people black then? I believe so.

Okay, so then they would have gone back under the water and gotten fins and fucked a whale or something and gotten fins. So that means they would be black. Yeah, plaster in the deep, they're in the depths of the sea, where you would stick out like a sore thumb. If you were white, you'd get eaten right away. Being black, as long as the mermaid's weren't smiling. Ah! All I'm saying is I think the live action remake

is accurate. I would think there'd be some sort of counter shading pattern. What do you mean? So you could be seen from below. Well, they'll see you can't be. Oh, so you think they have white. Well, they got the white polish like a great white shark. I think you're, this is very scientifically sound, I think. So the mermaids are black. Maybe they have white stomachs too. This is a, this is a working hypothesis, I think, like a killer whale.

How they have white stomachs and a black or great white sharks. Oh yeah, okay. So the mermaids work above white below. Black and they would have their whole body would be like their hands. Where it's skin color or flesh colored. White whatever pink. Yeah.

I'm not offended by another evolutionary mystery cracked. So I'm talking to my another evolutionary mystery, correct. So I'm talking to my neighbor in Newtino, Oregon. He's a hyperlip role. I'm not even getting a like want all the white people are dead. Then we'll have peace and they're have all the young generations. I'm like, but young people of ethnicities are going to do the same things. Like, no, no, no, you didn't use this word. It's a different thing.

Everyone's too woke. Everyone's too well informed and cool now. So once all the old white people at that, then suddenly we'll have a new generation. That's not gonna happen. It was before. They're all great. And it's become a better understanding of each other, because I'm a Trump dad. I say something like, you know, like I wish I hope you're right.

I really do hope you're right. I just think you're wildly wrong. I don't think you're right. I just think you're wildly wrong. I don't think you are. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And you're the pastor system for us with a degree in anthropology. You know, I'm surprised about intersectional anthropology. And I'm sitting here, I'm like, you're a pastor system. What does that even mean? And I point to the fucking, you know, acts we have in this piece of wood over here by the fire pit where it where said, nanomely,

if someone came over and took that act, the third of it, and the other one, he used something about it, he was like, yeah, and you killed him if you had to, but then the stool passed, like, you know how to fucking pass it, is that? That's not what it is. You're probably, and Dick fucks shunned it exactly when I can say in the whole time, I guess it's a South Park thing, till I don't keep telling me I'm with them off. and dick sunsets exactly what i can say in the whole time that is i guess it's a south park thing till i don't keep telling me i'm working i'm off

right like all the predators focus all over and the pussy don't want the normal guys to kill the predators okay we need everybody to take some kind of stuff these punters and shit we have people to make art and do stupid crap so we can laugh at it we need to fill the man in this Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, know what you should be fucking done. What that person's fucking had off and buried him under the prison and forget about him forever. Let's do a fucking job.

Did he just say he doesn't like hurting people? It's him who listens to right words. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no in this stat too, oh, fuck it, I'll show it next time. But do people think that the guys immigrating here like have a favorable view on progressivism? I don't know. Do they think like the illegal immigration is that they have similar views on women or whatever other thing they're going for.

Well, I guess it depends on, right. I would think that maybe the immigrants don't necessarily know or care about, probably a little more old school, right? A lot of them. If you're from like a shittier country, wouldn't you, men where men have more of a say because it's all about like violence and stuff.

And it's not, you know, I would think the labor is more of a premium. I would certainly think they're coming from less progressive places. Right. And they'd be more concerned about it. And almost all cases. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, who am I? So I'm gonna chew on for the week. All right, bye everyone. See ya. Yeah, you know, who am I? Something to chew on for the week. All right, bye everyone.

See ya.