The Dick Show - Episode 173 - Dick on Lost Balls

Episode Date: September 24, 2019

Two days with gigantic balls, an Australian takes a trip down Crenshaw, being blessed, the going rate for Thoughts and Prayers, CBD, nanotech, women, and other scams, Zuby Music: the current British female deadlifting record holder, calls in, the legality of telling people to kill themselves, adventures in blackface, Ari has a post-op friend Sean would hit on, auto-continuing subscriptions, the best threesome position, how to fake being a black albino, the decline of nachos, Italian Americans, and Mundane Matt is not the father; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I can't stress how fantastic this day and this week have been really yes, okay, Sean I have to get into this I'm I'm living the big ball life now I'm living you didn't do it again. Did you I'm I I'm gonna do it every day for the rest of my life I did not do it again. You should just go silicone If you're thinking about it, you're thinking about keeping it You might as well. No, because the process, I think, is intriguing to women, the process. And I'll tell you what, buddy, like watching somebody shoot heroin or something. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's how you do it. Oh, that's how you do that. I don't just want to wear the heroin patch.

That's boring. Yeah, it's the ritual. It's the ritual. It's like smoking dope, right? It's like part of that. It's like here, we do this. Exactly. It's like, oh, here you get it.

Yeah, open up your tabs. Get your needle ping, ping, ping. Yeah, okay, here we go. Get those air bubbles out. Here's the show. The big ball life. Is that thing? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Here's the show the big ball life Everything working

Welcome to neck you want to give you to give you got you got it, that's a show! We're having these a contest, gonna you lie for a mountain bunker deep in the heart of the city of Philear. I'm your host, McMaster, and I came, $20 million man! Recently voted America's worst Mexican 22 weeks running. Joining me, as always, is world touring LA-based comedian, Sean, the audio engineer, hello dick. Hey, what's up buddy? In studio is one of your fans

from your world touring comedy show. I'm a fan of his. Hey. He's Morgan, the most competent man in the world. He's the most competent man, the most competent man in the world. In the world. Yeah. I don't usually drink beer whilst I'm doing my work because I'm extremely competent. That's his catchphrase.

The most competent man in the world, James Morgan, the savior of Melbourne, the Melbourne show, which I am, and also a big reason why Sydney got pulled off too, even though he wasn't there. Even though he wasn't there, James Morgan, the most competent man in the world, who set up a live stream in a country that has no internet for some reason, because everyone's so busy playing ass tidily winks

and making up stories about drop bears and catering to feminism in Australia. They have no time to upgrade their internet, I guess. If you saw the women there, you'd cater to them, too. Well, Sean, I never will, because I'm not allowed in that country. I guess there's, yeah. It's really, it's an important, it's an important, you've chosen to live your life the way you

have and are banned from just a wonderful country with wonderful people and good times to be had by all who are allowed in. It's unfortunate that I've chosen to live my life like this, isn't it? The decisions that I have made. Well, you know, I mean, at some point you're gonna pay. And this was it. This was probably it. We finally got them. We got a whole country of beautiful women of no dick.

Yeah, come in. We finally have our technology up to the standards that it takes to ban this man from the entire continent. It's taken decades of beautiful women. Yeah. Be his girlfriend. That doesn't matter. Yeah, right.

You motherfuckers. I went to the Greek festival in Pasadena last night. Some of the speaking of the opposite, no, some of the women walking around there, good God. Really? Oh yeah, they had nice beautiful hairy knuckles. No, so there, man, some of those women are, I think they have to be about 55 to 60 before all of a sudden

they shrink. They shrink, no, they shrink. They shrink. They shrink. No, no, they shrink about six inches in height. Walking around the bush. And then, and then grow moustaches. It's like a whole Italian woman. Big old hook. No, good God, man.

No, and they're, they're yawning. There's some. It's just a stereo. That's what Greek women look like, isn't it? No. No. Uh, well, welcome to the studio, James. I hope you enjoy LA.

Stay north of the 10. Yes. Stay north of the 10. This was time. James was telling a story before the show started when he and his wife were visiting LA for your honeymoon, right? I'll steal the story in 2012 and they were staying downtown in Los Angeles and said, hey, I got a cheeky idea.

Let's go check out this place, this American place we've been hearing so much about called Walmart. Fire up the old Google Maps and what is it's, hey, honey, what do you know? There's a Walmart near us, downtown. It's at a, it's at a it's at a it's at crenshaw and mlk boulevard those are the cross streets of walmart at which point we laughed at our asses off it's he told me that's an australia i

lost it you lost it exactly the same place because anybody who's familiar with the la will know it's the chris rock thing mlk stood for non-violence if you're on MLK There's violence going down There's on there's two there's two words There's two boulevards that would signify something might be going something might be happening here This is where they meet. Yeah.

And there's a Walmart there. Ground zero. So, James said, oh, honey, let's just, let's hop on the subway. The subway runs right by there. We all know, we know how subways work in Australia. Well, and Melbourne in particular has amazing public transportation. So yeah, it's, you're talking not like that. Our subways just pretend we set it up. It doesn't what. Yeah, there's people pissing in the subway.

Yes, it's not something that you use to go any place. It's a ride. No regular people piss in the subway so they don't stand out. Yeah, I just start pissing their pants. Everybody wears like khakis so that you know, you're honestly doing it. I used to take the subway from Hollywood downtown. I would get harassed on one time. Like, hey, what are you, what are you fucking doing on the subway? Do you want to, do you want, you have a problem? And I would go, hey guys, just, I'm pissing in here like the rest of you. It's no big, I bought a, I bought a mango from the guy selling mangoes out of the garbage bag. Right. Right. Totally is totally, no, I'm about to do a freestyle sing in a second.

We're all about to get the shit. We all ate the man goes, don't worry about me. Just piss, let's all just have a nice piss together on the subway. Yeah, you see the man go on a stick. They sell the man goes on sticks. Yeah, yeah, dude, when my balls kicked in last week. Oh, then, so then the subway wasn't quite doing it.

You thought, this subway's a little rough, honey. Let's hop off the subway. I'm sure we could catch a bus. Wow, our buses in LA are entirely made out of glass. So, because we had them big. So the cops can look in and see someone pulling a knife or a gun immediately. We had them bit, we had just the big windows because of racism.

So then all the criminals would just get down on an army crawl around committing their crimes, doing their online gambling and what's selling their weeds to each other. So we had to make the entire bus out of fiberglass, lose sight. That's how bad our bus situation is here. I guess you did see it and you were walking around. Well, then you walked to it, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, wow. Licker store, liquor store, pawn shop, check into cash, check into cash, check into cash. He's go right, check. So I'm up and down the street. Yep. Beautiful town. They must have looked, it's like either this guy has a death wish or he's fucking crazy. Stay away from it. Yeah. There's no way this white dude is gonna be walking around down there.

But it's a good thing you did it though instead of now because you'd likely get leprosy now. We have leprosy. Yeah. Leprosy outbreaks. Yeah. There's a typhus outbreak. Typhus, yeah. Typhus is nothing. Let her see. Let her see in the Bible, motherfucker. That's how bad things are getting here. Things are getting biblical downtown. It's the end time, so I'm starting to believe things. The balls, the week of big balls,

was maybe the greatest week of my life. Really? It's really hard to undersell the big ball lifestyle. Big ball. You're like lawns. I just think big baller brand that fucking fraud of a company that the ball family unleashed upon the stupid lawns. Oh, the basketball player. Oh, I don't know. And his dad, the fucking loud mouth. There's three ball kids. One of them got arrested in China for shoplifting and Trump fucking intervened.

Remember that? Oh yeah. Remember that? He was part of the UCLA team or whatever. They got, yeah, yeah. What was he doing over there? He was doing math. He was helping kids with math homework

or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right. Right. Yeah. But anyway, yeah, big baller brand. There's, it was like rampant fraud and whatever. But like, yeah, big baller brand. There was, and then it was like rampant fraud and whatever. But like, how long did they last?

They lasted for the rest of my life. Oh, I see. You don't understand. It feels like the inside of my ball sack I got a new coat of paint. Really? Like a new, a loop job or something. Like I feel like I brought my nuts in for like a 50,000 mile

overhaul. Really? Whatever it is. Tune up and change the plugs and. Oh man. Really? These balls are glistune up and change the plugs and... Oh man! Really? These balls are glistening. And it's jut on the inside.

On the inside. On the outside. Where it counts. I feel like it's... Real beauty. Yeah, I feel like it's like a whole new sack. No wait, glistening, it feels almost animate. When they went back down, did it stretch you out?

No, I don't think so. I don't think so. No, no, she's straight in her head now. She's probably not that one time, right? Skin's pretty elastic. Well, and you have a lot of extra skin in your, in your wiener stand, the ball sack. Yeah, already. You know, that baby will hang down pretty low.

Yeah. But after about, let's see, when did I inject it, about 1 p.m. About six hours later, when I'm sitting in the Benfolds concert, I shit you not. I'm trying to rest the worst nachos in the world on my lap and I can't, they keep tipping over me. I am rocking and I can't stop touching it.

I'm like a high school baseball coach. Yeah, because it is a fun, like a high school baseball coach. It is like a, it is like I have a tit between my, which, you know, it is kind of weird. Right. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Because it feels the same, but it's saline, obviously. So it's a fake. But it's like when you're, if something, if you have something in your

mouth, your tongue magnifies it, you know, it's really your brain, right? Yeah. Like so it's like, if you have like your whole life, got it. Yeah. So a, a, a, a, a, it's really your brain, right? Like so it's like if you have like your balls graduated. Yeah. So, Yodhi was telling me that your tissue will start absorbing the saline and the inflammation will increase around like a pearl, like an oyster with a grain of sand. Yeah. And my nut sack looked like a fucking one gigantic

uniball, like a mango. She's like a fucking mango. So that I had to sit with my knees in different time zones to be kind of course, I'm at a concert. I'm at a concert where I'm at a concert where the chairs are designed for a little effeminate men. Yeah, who go like this is not a Midwestern theater. This is the Greek.

Oh, yeah. Which has which which has that's a great place to see a show though. You know what? It is the worst place in the world to eat any food. Oh, really? They have the worst nachos. And they have the worst nachos in the world. They have ruddy, crummy, beef jerky chicken fingers that you have the privilege of paying about $50 for. How a theater can manage to pave everything in gold and make the theater look so immaculate, staff it with police, have people there, picnicking and frallicking all these yuppie elites and have the audacity have they had biodegradable plates that the nachos were on that I swear to God were indistinguishable from the nachos

themselves I could have just cheeseed up the plate I kept eating through the entire plate because the nachos were so fucking bad. And it stuck with me, that was the most memorable thing about the show. That's too bad. Not the music, not the companionship. It was the God forbid, and God forbid, I had a seat. I bought my seat on purpose on the upper deck,

but in the front of the section, because I cannot stand going to concerts where one stupid asshole stands up in front of the section, because I cannot stand going to concerts where one stupid asshole stands up in front of you for the entire show, and then you're stuck standing up for the whole fucking show. Bitch, go, if you wanna dance, go out in the parking lot, open the door of your car and listen to it that way.

You fucking monster, I am here to sophisticatedly enjoy this music while sitting down like God intended, and it's seat that I paid for, you fucking monster. I am here to sophisticatedly enjoy this music while sitting down like God intended and it's seat that I paid for you fucking bitch Right go stand in front of somebody else that's standing up. I said I said I looked I saw it the whole times I'm up there in my purge like Waldoff and it's like a half of Waldoff and stather with my giant balls Slung over the front of the looking down like oh look at this bitch standing up look at it down there You fucking bitch. I at it down there. You fucking bitch. That guy's pissed off.

I got some fucking piss. I'm going to frisbee this biodegradable plate at her. Hopefully it doesn't go to grade before it gets to her. Yeah. I've got a wilting plates in my lap, straws that disintegrate as you use them to serve me the worst nachos in the world. It was very, anyway. Well, that's unfortunate.

The big ball life. Yeah, the big ball life. I'm in pull, I think a year ago, exactly today I had a problem with nachos too. Really? At the LA fair. Remember when those two fat ladies spilled their nachos on me,

I think that was about a year ago today. Yeah, I just went to the fair. I do remember that. It's the season for crappy nachos on me, I think that was about a year ago today. I just went to the fair. I do remember that. It's the season for crappy nachos. Yeah, well, I'm in Pilates, Sean. Yeah. And this is what day? This is Monday.

Monday. So they're still, they're still mango sized. I mean, they're still, they're rockin' half-mangs. Plums. Good set of plums. Yeah. Popped into a set of yoga pants that I can only get comfortable by pulling them out between my legs and putting my leg, you know, I'm doing exercises, girl exercises where they don't have any kind of thought about what your testicles are doing.

They never, never, never think about that yet. So I'm in there with my thighs pressed together, having to reach in with like an excavator and pull out my pulse. Jesus. I swear to God, it was obscene. I'm doing bridges, you know. Oh my God.

That was what she was. They warned it up with the bridge. I'm like, well, if I'm in for a penny, I'm in for a pound of balls. Oh yeah, this is on a platter. At the top of a bridge. Like what in God's name is that guy rocking? In his pants.

Jesus. I highly recommend it. Oh, I don't know. Maybe I should start selling kits on the store. Oh man. Ball and large and in kits. Cause it was Phant James, you got any interest in the ball stuff?

I got very lucky. My flight landed as that was starting on the episode. Your flight landed while that was starting. He meant are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, doing it? Get on the mic. Get him on the mic.

Get him on the mic. Nachos have been getting fancier and shittier, and I know the kids don't know this, but notchos have become like the banana. Where the banana has gradually become shit over the last 80 years because species of banana keep going extinct. Because they're all a clone.

And once one banana gets hit, the entire species of that banana dies out. So they go down to the next shitty banana. We don't eat that becomes the worldwide banana. They grow Michelle or whatever they used to call it. They can't grow it anymore. Cause of disease, because we don't have a wall. So nachos, the same fate is happening to nachos.

They're piling on more shit. The chips are becoming more like the plate and they're getting worse and worse. But no one can tell except people like me who have their finger on the poles and who are paying attention. More expensive and shittier. James, do you have any interest in inflating your balls?

What was it Sean said? Yeah, I'll definitely do that. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Well, I heard you were going to do that. Right idea. Oh man. Like, and there's, I know there's a lot of fan theories around

about, did he actually do it? Oh no, he actually did. Oh yeah. Let me put those theories to rest. I can't get the thought it's scorched into my cortex. I can tell you, for anyone who has not been into Dixudio here, walking into this room, if you had any doubt in your mind that someone's

balls got inflated and here by a syringe, you would walk into the room and say, yeah, that absolutely happened for sure. For sure. Here's a shot. Here's a picture of me at the peak of the pain at the green. I look like a Gremlin. You got to touch the Shane McMahon about you in that. Who is that? Shane McMahon, you know, what the Vince McMahon son? Yeah. The WWE guy. Yeah, I'm sure there's an image of him that looks exactly like. I can't think what he looks like. I'll find you something.

Where is there we go? That's the, that was, that was at the peak of my derangement. And then I got another one here. Let me find this was Sean's face that I'm showing right now on seeing the Sack. I thought I think that has similar energy to this. What is that? What is that?

Then he's looking at Marcella's Wallace's soul and pulp fiction. Oh, it's Tim Roth. Tim Roth when he shows him what's in the brief case. I think that has the same energy. That's a fucking pretty big thing. Yeah. So no interest in that, James. What about your wife?

Well, about her balls. Yeah. I think her balls are pretty well spoken for her. But I was like, no, no, it's honest to God. My flight was landing late last night until I accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally accidentally catch up. Sure. You know, if I put that on, while we're in the car driving or something, my wife's. You got to ignore the kids. No, you know, it's probably not the type of stuff for the kids of the wife.

You know what I mean, but, uh, but anyway, I'm listening and just a secret show between me and you. That's life doesn't need no. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. But that was just starting up as we were landing. And I'm just thinking, Oh, I think I've gotten lucky here. I think I've dodged a bullet.

Oh, because you didn't have to listen to it. Well, I'm sitting there. You almost threw up. I didn't have to leave the room. Well, I'm sitting there. Can you almost threw up? I don't know. Did he not have to leave the room? Oh, wow. Yeah. The needle went in and made him, he got queasy.

Oh, okay. Left the room, he sat on stairs. Wow. He sat on stairs like he was in time out for the remainder of the, I didn't know that. I didn't notice that he was, I mean, there was so much action going on over there. You know how people talk about like, spud as a bugs and you start to get itchy right? Every time you talk about this, I subconsciously like have my hands over the top of my

heart. Well, I can talk about the good parts then. Got it. Got it. Aftermath, you enjoyed. Man, you walk a mile and in my balls, you see what it does for you. It's like just turning the volume of the world. How do you, how do you keep them on the farm once you've seen Peri?

So do you get to complain about how soy your back gets because they're so big? You know what I hate that that makes me a rage too whenever any when I'm Any sick as huge tits. It's just some I know somebody's itching to do it. Oh Excuse me as you better fucking I'm like a have like you better shut your fucking mouth. Don't don't say it Don't say it. What about her, bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb today, you know, I'm a person. I don't need to brag about it. Yeah, I know. I'm a person. I'm a person. No, I'm not. I'm just what you, I'm just the balls, sweetheart. Thank you for noticing.

Yeah. I see what you're noticing. So there's a story I can't do. So you've been going to Pilates, you've dropped all this weight, then you went with the bigger balls, right? Yeah. So you're just trying to like balance this thing out or is it like when God shaved down for, you know, pointers to make it.

Just trying to lower his center of gravity. Yes it. Just trying to lower his center of gravity. Yes, I'm trying to lower my center of gravity. Thank you, Sean. All right, James, get out of here. Thank you. Does anything make you a rage? Everything makes me a rage. New Orleans makes me a rage.

New Orleans, the city that needs a shower. The city needs a shower. Look, we're walking around, actually. We're walking around New Orleans. Right. Man, this place could use a hurricane. Oh, Jesus. To soon for that, that one could come out. No, it's funny. actually a welcome and you want to write man this place could use a hurricane To soon for that that one come out. No, it's funny. That's good. It's funny. It's always a city. Okay You got a you got a joke about all that shit, especially when it's not happening to you

Especially when it's not happening to you. That's the ideal time to joke about it's the carlin bit about it's more fun Well, it's usually it's more fun and disaster is more fun the closer it is to you. Well, it's usually it's more fun. A disaster is more fun. The closer it is to you, you know, as long as it's not you though. It's well, if you walk around the French quarter of New Orleans, I think you you'll look around you say, I can't think of a city that looks less capable of withstanding our came in this

but then well, it's belastigable. You're asking for it in every way. Oh no, it's the low sea level. That's our need to know. And just their attitude. Yeah. All their little French shit. Like, okay, you guys are asking for it.

I was God, I would smite your ass in two seconds. Well, it's a standard scam that you get on every corner. Oh, hey, man, I like your shoes. A betcha I know where you got those shoes. Are you like, are they trying to fuck you? I got them at the off store where you should fuck to. No, the one that come out with, you got those shoes on, cannell, straight,

new oil, and it's now pay me. You watch them, they scam and tourists, you know, constantly doing this. I'm like, this is the dumbest scam I ever had. That is. Wait, what's a scam? The scam is they just grab you with something and then ask for money.

Like, they hit you with something. I ask you about your shoes, because for some reason, this short circuit's the human mind into talking to people, is talking to them about their fucking shoes. And then they guess and then ask you for money. Well, that's pretty much, it's very simple. They make a bet with you about where you've got those shoes,

but what they actually mean is where those shoes are right now. Yeah. I don't care. Yeah, it's the dumbest scam ever. It's the same thing is the people that hold up the little uber sign on their phone at the airport. Oh yeah, you need to do a Uber is no, no, it's they're pretending to be Uber and it's like I've seen those. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, my mother actually almost got done with that the other day in

New York. Yeah, she's like, well, this guy's Uber. I love those unlicensed cat back in the day when we had cabs and unlicensed cabs, those were funnest shit. Those guys would drive like Luna ticks. I thought that was the south of the Buddha thing. An unlicensed cabs? Yeah. No, that's New York. Because they limit the taxis up there.

So you had a bunch of guys like doing their own Uber. They would just stand outside the airport and say, hey, you want to ride. And then you'd kind of negotiate a price like based on nothing. Oh, correct. you want to ride. And then you'd kind of negotiate a price, like based on nothing. Oh, correct. Based on drive life. Yeah, they would drive like the worst driver.

Like they were all kind of professional looking too. So you'd think they were some kind of a limo service. That was great time. Great time. Great time where you could do things that seemed illegal. And everyone was cool with it. What a country. Wait, it was great. What a country.

It was great. It was great. You weren't tracked cybernetically, constantly at all times. It was beautiful. All right. All right, James, thank you. Thank you for coming by. And thank you for Melbourne.

Yeah, big time. By the way, Sean, the survey was 51% of people think you never bitched in and 49% of people think you bitched out. I put a survey on Twitter. Oh, really? A couple thousand people, yeah. 49, very close survey. It's hilarious when people think they know

what's in somebody else's brain. Yeah, they usually do. In this case, they do. Yeah, they're right. No, they're not right. But they, oh, so 51, 49. So you won. Yeah. Oh, yeah, what did I president? Congratulations. Yeah. Your president of the small balls. Yes. I hope you enjoy small ball. All natural natural in the like Instagram models, our Instagram models, uh,

was there like a natural section? Uh, they this, they were doing this push for a while. Every once in a while, all the ugos get together and try to pressure all the pretty girls into uglifying themselves so everyone can get attention. It's like an all natural movement where women who are naturally pretty take pictures of themselves and then shame women who look like monsters without makeup into not doing makeup anymore.

Okay. It's like a double show off. Yeah. You can't just be pretty. It was also, you have to stress that God made you pretty. This is how you wake up in the morning. Yeah. It was a big movement for a while with intolerable conson lines.

I'm surprised you didn't hear about that one. I guess you're not connected like, mm-hmm. So you could tap into it. Ha ha ha. Monday and Matt has confessed that he is not the father of one of his children this week. That's pretty. No.

That's it. Oh no. We'll get to that later. Oh, Jesus. Ha ha ha. So you know how he's always saying like, I'm doing this for my family and the, like, I'll get to it later. Oh, Jesus. So you know how he's always saying like, I'm doing this for my family and then like, I'll get to it later. Oh, no. He's always saying like, oh, um, he's always

gilting everybody like, I need to do this for my, I need to make videos about Star Wars for my family and to support my family. Then he got caught on a hot mic saying it's his girlfriend's daughter. It's not his daughter. So, yeah, I mean, I don't know. I don't want to knock anybody who's raising somebody else's kid, but it's funny when man, how many kids to, well, that's I know. But how many kids does it? Do you have multiple kids? If you're, if you're supporting your girlfriend's kid by doing YouTube videos about Star Wars that everyone fucking hates, then I do want to knock you. I take that pack. It's the whole picture. Yeah.

Uh, see you have more than just you have multiple kids. I think he's got one on the way. Okay. I don't know if that's his, but the current one could be gods. Maybe it is. Yeah. You know, I had, um, I finally got stuck with a, uh, I had lunch with Vito and I got stuck with a, I had lunch with Vito, and I got stuck with an $8 water. What? Yeah, sandwich store, grab a water, scan it, guys, this is eight bucks. Of course, I already ran my credit card and, how the fuck could a water be eight bucks? Even an even an Starbucks, a water is an eight bucks.

That's what I said. Where did you go? Just a sandwich store. Just a sandwich store in the middle of this gentrified hipster hell that they call where I live, where you're either going to a Mexican supermarket where you buy beans by shoveling them out of a vat with your hand and putting them in Ziploc bags

that you have to bring from home or a gentrified hipster hell where the water is $8.00. And I said to the guy, how could just a little thing of water? How could that possibly be $8? How could that possibly be? And how could you have the audacity to sit there, scan it, let me do, let me, and let me pay for it, knowing full well that I was about to drop $8 on a bottle of water. You feel like, just so you know, it's eight bucks. Just so you know, just so you know, stop doing what you're doing, because you're about

to be fucked. Like at the movies, they have a pound and a half soft pretzel. And every time you order it, they go, just so you know, it's one and a half pounds. And I said, yeah, don't fucking, I do not want to be judged. Don't worry what I do. Don't worry about what I do with it. I got it and I thank you.

But it's, I got it and I thank you. Yes, I thank you for the advice. I'm eating the one and a half pound bread monster. Could have used it. Yeah. I said, well, what, where, where, why? What do you mean why? As the machine is going from processing,

and I'm guy, I think, oh, I should rip my card out of the thing and fuck it over. So it doesn't, and I look right to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Approved. Yeah. Oh, you gotta be fucking, I said, okay, well, can I get another one?

And he looks down and gives me the universal look of, can you please not make me do, I don't know how to do that. I don't know how the machine works at first. Yeah. Oh my God. All right. What am I making this, am I fucking making this guy do algebra for $3?

Like do they even, they probably don't have normal water. Why would they sell normal water if they're fucking people over for eight dollar water Why why is why was it eight dollars you goes oh there's stuff in it? So I look at the label Living it says living water with nanotechnology Nanotechnology that has used nanotechnology to infuse the water with CBD oil. Oh God Okay, which has become a plague yeah use nanotechnology to infuse the water with CBD oil. Oh, God. Okay. Which has become a plague,

yeah. Which has become a plague onto the world. The unleashing of CBD oil with temp, has really, with hemp, has exposed exactly how much moron we still have floating around the system. Oh, God, yeah. In a civilized world.

Yeah. How the fuck is this popular to push on so that I get fucked with it? Just the general public. Yeah, yeah. I continue reading the water, great, relieves pain. This is a pain relieving water for $8. Where does it say none of these statements

have been evaluated by the FDA and but, you know, like, not intended to diagnose treat or cure any disease. I mean, it's fucking bullshit. Who buys it? Yeah. Who is looking at their water wanting to upgrade it from free to $8 to relieve pain and anxiety? Yeah. Cur- cure everything that ails them. Make their parents love them. It makes their parents and children love them. It's sickness. It's a sickness. I wanna dump it all out.

All of it. I'm going, whoever that bitch is, that lick to the ice cream, that ruined ice cream for everyone. Find her. I'm gonna break her out of prison, like the juggernaut in X-Men 3. And I'm gonna grab the back of her head. They broke the juggernaut out of prisonMen 3, and I'm gonna grab the back of her head,

they broke the juggernaut out of prison, so he could fight with Magneto against the humans. Okay, I'm gonna grab the back of her head, put peanut butter on the top of her mouth, like Mr. Ed and just bring her around to these garbage hipster shops and have her lick, just do a paint lick by of all this CBD shit. I'm so tired of seeing CBD all over everything.

It does nothing, it does nothing, stop pretending that it does. You don't need more things to pretend like they do something. People, there's always a group that's gonna be susceptible to marketing. I don't even think it's marketed very well. Well, it's gonna know technology that cures everything.

That's it, that's all it took to convince the world. Manotechnology sounds highly specific and highly technical. And I just, I don't get it, but I trust it because it's beyond my understanding. It's not even an ad. Bring cigarettes back. Because those, the people buying the CBDs deserve the cancer of the cigarettes

for pushing this on everybody else. All right. I did read that it might be bad too. Really? Well, yeah, let me see. I don't know. It's probably who cares? No one's no one. Everyone hates it. It's actually poison. Cana boys are susceptible to degradation and specifically oxidization. Some of these degradation insertoxoxic blah blah blah. If they're exposed to light molecule. Yeah, as in like, you know, you know, life, planet earth. Yeah, I really hate them.

Here's what else makes me rage is the non auto-canceling subscription system. How much how many how much time is dedicated to going through your credit card statements or whatever, and you find one of these free trials, like from HBO, seven day trial, that you have not canceled in a year and a half. Oh yeah, go.

Well, that's the count on, obviously. Fucking fantastic. Okay, that's my bad. I did know, I knew I was supposed to cancel that. I'll take that one. I'm gonna ask for a refund as much as I can, but that is my bad. I signed up for it.

Motherfuckin spectrum calls me up this week, so we get an exciting offer for streaming. Oh, you can stream all this shit and it's like, oh, usually that's a no, but, I'm ha, like, just can't wait to hear this. All right. Oh, let me, you know what? Fuck it.

You got some stuff on there, fuck it. Let's fire me up, fire me up. Some of those comes with some kind of internet thing. My internet's been kind of fucked lately. Yeah, I'll take it, I'll take it. What happens if I don't cancel? She says, well, sir, you have to let us know whether or not you want to continue.

Okay. So this is a what happens a little different if I don't let you know. Sir, you have to let us know if you want to continue or not. What happens if, hey, honey, if you tell me that, if you don't tell me what happens physically, I'm going to turn myself into electricity and crawl through this phone line and find you at work and pretend that I'm going to find you off online and start flirting with you on Instagram and pretend that I love you and we're having a long distance relationship and then I'm just going to ghost you out of nowhere. Tell me that's going to happen. That's going to happen. Tell me what have sir wall, I mean, you know, if you want it, if you just want it after your trial, let us know. Okay, what happens?

Fucking stop fucking I know okay, so you're gonna fuck me over. That's what's gonna happen, isn't it? You won't say it. You can't say it because you know in your head that it's fucking me over right? So what happened? I don't know, I never got an answer, I just hung up. Okay. I was so infuriated, I just hung up. Right. Let's see what else I got here.

I got some interesting studies. The broke man, hurting American. Yeah. Women's chances of getting married, I heard about that one. Mm-hmm. Terrible. See, not everybody wants thoughts and prayers after a disaster.

This one's kind of interesting. Well, it is like the tired ass thing to say, right? I like that one that happened in a church. What was that? In Texas, I think, it was one of them that happened in a church thought in prayers. He's not listening. Oh, he doesn't care. That's like not listening. Oh, he doesn't care.

That's like his house. Yeah. He doesn't care. I get very annoyed when I get like a thought or a prayer. Does that happen to you? I resent it. No, I don't think anyone's ever told me that I received a thought or a prayer. No, you.

I should probably ask around in my circle and see if they have, if they've thought of prayer. I wanna know for you. Yeah. I wanna know who not to talk to anymore. How would you feel like if you got raped and then people were like thoughts and prayers to Sean.

So like a pack of wolves fucked you or something. Right. They grabbed you on your way out to the studio. Right. Coyotes around here. Right. They grabbed you on your way out of the studio. Right. Coyotes around here. Yeah. Gang rape by some coyotes. And people were like, oh, thoughts and prayers, Sean.

Yeah. What did you know? You would have no way me. It's annoying, very annoying. The thoughts and prayers, just something you toss off. Yeah, later, thoughts and prayers. So here's the study. Ah, thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers.

Ah, thoughts and prayers. That's what everybody fucking posts. That's what everybody does after one of these things. Thoughts and prayers, I mean prayers. Thoughts and prayers. That's what everybody fucking posts. That's what everybody does after one of these things. Thoughts and prayers, I mean, it's, why? Why do you keep saying that? They're getting off on it, beating off. I thought I was just a cynical asshole. No, but you're appropriately cynical.

Here's a study that I found. Subjects were paid a fee to compensate them for their time and an additional $5 to be used in this experiment, some kind of economy experiment. Then they were asked how much money they were willing to give in exchange for prayers from a priest or a Christian stranger or thoughts from both non-religious and religious strangers when they got bad news. The Christians in the experiment value to prayer

from a Christian stranger on average of $4.36. They bargained it? Well, on average. So they're like, here's your money. We're gonna give you an extra five bucks and how much would you like to pay if we were to get a... Well, that's what I mean.

Shouldn't a prayer be worth five bucks? Well, some people must have put five bucks in. Yeah, but some people went a lot lower. Yeah, some people everybody started with five bucks. Am I understanding this right? No, they started with the money they got paid for the experiment. And then they got extra five bucks. And they said, how much?

Because, you know, mentally you get the extra and you're like, this is just found money, right? Yeah. So they said, here's a little bit more. Sure. Okay. And how much would you like to pay of that? How much would you like to pay for a prayer? For a prayer. And they said, and averaged out at 463. Or a thought, a thought or a prayer.

Yeah, this is Christians. Right. So some people, some people, it's greed over God. Well, yeah, I guess so. I mean, it's a thought or a prayer. How much do you want to pay for that? How, well, that's pretty fucking stupid already. Yeah, but no, but provided you're a Christian,

one would think that prayer works. Why is it not worth five dollars? Yeah, but isn't it, if you're paying for it, isn't that like a hooker kind of? Like how much are you gonna pay for the prayer? They pay fucking tithing or offerings or whatever. I guess you assume that that goes to charities though. Yeah, right.

This is just a thought. Yeah, like I can't, I'm, I can't play logic to it. You can't, you can't play logic to it. You can try because they did in their brain, they picked a number. How did they, how did that person get that number? I could sit there for a thousand years

and not be satisfied with a person's explanation of how they got to $4.36 for a thought and a player. And that's over, that's averaged over the entire. It gets funnier. Well, so how did the, yeah, how did the, how did the really weird number like that happen? You're right. On average, you get a thousand people in 30s.

Yeah, but you wouldn't, so I guess you would go for it. If it wasn't a perfect one, no, no't. Oh, yeah, if it wasn't a perfect five, no, no, I know, but it could be a strange number of people to get that 30. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's all those. Most people are not going to go, I'd pay 321, about 350. Yeah. Most people would be fairly round numbers.

A priest, what gets an even higher amount at $7.17. So they went into their own pocket with the priest. Oh, really? Okay. Okay. So here's where it gets even funny. Let me say hi to Zubi. Okay. Seven, seven, 17 for a priest. So they said, how about we sweeten the deal?

Yeah. We'll get you a priest to do this shit. After all, I'm paying with your money I've been making for all these years anyway. You know they do that at the Vatican. We went to the, my family went to the Vatican. It's so crass isn't it? It's so tacky. Yeah, it's gross.

Everything, my mom actually stopped donating money in church when she saw how opulent it was. She's like, this is bullshit. Yeah. They are just keeping all this money. I dare you. And there's people starving all over the world. So the experience that you should have needed a new roof

for about 300 years on this motherfucker. You know, that should be going, you should be taking care of last. Yeah, like there's just people mobbing into it in the giant walls. I never would have predicted that experiencing the grandeur and the opulence of the Vatican city would make my mother stop giving to the church.

Good. Which is shitty because the money doesn't go back to them. It's just a principled call, I guess. You should have turned off by it. But afterwards, they've got a gift shop, of course, when you're leaving you buy all this. Oh, yeah. Register right by the door. You can buy all this kitschy religious shit

to give to your grandma or whatever. And you can either take it home with you there or you can get it shipped to you and a pre-stable blessed, a pre-stable blessed. Right, that it doesn't get lost in transit. So you pay extra for that. That's stolen by TSA. You pay extra for the shipping,

but it will come to you blessed by a priest. I guess this is the same kind of thing as this. So you've got that going for you, which is nice. So here's how stupid the other side is. Okay. Well, that's the Christian side. 717 for a thought and a prayer for a priest. Atheists in agnostics, however,

took things in a completely different direction. Which, am I the only one who... Oh, well, they pay you not to fucking, oh, that's fucking dumb. I'm so principled. It's like, dude, that's, you're, you're aggressive atheism is also a religion. Agnostics who are,

just, it's such fucking assholes, like, oh, do you believe in God? No, actually, and actually, I have a whole point on how it's so presumptuous to even think that the human mind can just shut the fuck up. If you've ever wanted to, yes or no. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. Oh, I don't even question. Right. There is or is not a God. Doesn't exist in my universe.

Yeah, okay. Put it in your fucking blog, asshole. Non-religious people were willing to pay a dollar 66. Keep your prayers to yourself. To avoid a prayer. Yeah. I don't want you, you know, no disrespect. I don't want you fucking it up.

Agnostics were willing to pay a dollar 66 to avoid a prayer from a priest and 350, to a 350 for to avoid one from a Christian stranger. Oh God, there you go, it's a prize. So it isn't, it is that annoying. It's fucking annoying. Yeah. I mean, it does cause me.

It does cause me. It causes me fucking annoyance. I mean, it does cause me fucking dumb. Yeah. Causes me fucking annoyance. I'll say a prayer for you. Man. I always, you know, it doesn't bug me that like I would appreciate the thought because it's for that, it's a nice thing to do.

Yeah, I think. Yeah, but yeah, it's, I don't know, maybe I just have to grow out of it. I had to grow out of it. But just the, just think. Yeah, but you have, I don't know, maybe I just have to grow out of it. I have to grow out of it. But just the knee jerk, the automatic reaction, oh, thoughts and prayers, oh, thoughts and prayers. It's like, have you ever asked somebody, how you're doing and they just, they say,

blessed? You ever gotten that? No. Yeah, I've gotten that a few times, but it's just like this dead pan, it's just a thing they say. They don't even think about it. Blessed, how are you? Like, it's just like this dead pan. It's just a thing they say. They don't even think about it. Like, blessed.

How are you? It's just like, yeah, amen. How you doing? Blessed. Yes, just. Okay. Okay, that's just something you've said since my fault. That was my fault for asking.

You're right. You've taught me another one, Lord. It was my fault for trying to bond with this person. How is other people? you've taught me again. Thank you, thank you, my lord and savior. Islam is right about women, did you see that one? From where? From who?

A couple of like- A couple of like- A couple of like- Yeah, I've gone around putting up signs in their town. Let me see if I can find where this is. Signs that say Islam is right about women. Good Lord. It's really beautiful.

It's like, look, it's standing to perfect joke. I'm gonna try to fire it up right here. And they're interviewing people about how they feel about it. They're of course pissed off, but they don't know why. Oh, yeah. Oh, why is it upsetting? I don't know. Why?

I'm sure I can't say. Winchester? Let's talk to Zubi first. I don't know. Why? I'm sure I can't say. Winchester? Let's talk to Zubi first. I don't know. That is a pretty funny joke. Islam? Yeah, that's right. I don't know what they say, but sure,

it's in line with the prevailing sentiment. I'm sure it's whatever they're saying is in line with the general zeitgeist of gender roles that have established, right? One could have a problem with that. Let's see here. Uh-oh. You got to check to see if my

stream is okay. I don't have my phone with me because we went to the LA fair yesterday and for some reason. Is it in a bag of rice right now? Is that what's going on? No, it's in a bag of glass right now. I went on one of those tilt-a-world spinny things and just left all my shit in my pockets. Oh, wow. And the first loop, my phone went,

fucking centrifugal force, just shoot, and I'm wearing little itty-bitty shorts. So my phone is barely in there anyway, right? It's peeking out like a little animal, like a Pokemon the whole time, like my buddy. I hop into the tilt of world, and I don't know why I did it. Like I really don't know why I did this.

I think it was just like one of those, like when you toss your keys, like when you have something important that you're carrying and you just, for no reason, start throwing it in the air or juggling it or trying to, like you have a birthday cake and to open the door, you don't set it down, open the door and then you just bounce it.

And you're thinking as you're doing it, like what are you doing? I do that all the time. Why are you doing this? open the door, and that's it. You just bounce it. You're thinking as you're doing it, like what are you doing? I do that all the time. Why are you doing this? It's kind of fun, and then it does. Well, yeah, that's what you did. I carry a bunch of shit. If I'm setting up for a session,

I'll carry like three or four microphones under an arm, like just for no, like, dude. There's a cart. There's a cart right in there. But I'm like, I'm not going to get that fucking thing and I got a bunch of shock mounts stuck to my fingers in this one, so I've got jammed under my arm, and I've got a bunch of shock mounts,

and then, you know, like, headphones jammed under the other arm, so I got shit under both arms and on my fingers, it's like, what are you doing this man? Why are you doing this? Stop it! I hope that gets better with age, but it's not. In my old apartment building, there was this old

rickety elevator, it would go kind of slow, and it's not. In my old apartment building, there was this old rickety elevator. It would go kind of slow, and it was like, it was one of these elevators where you could see down into hell, like when the door opened. And I would sit there every time I got on the elevator, I would sit there and just throw my keys, like just play catch with them by myself. And knowing that this was a bad move,

because this is an old rickety piece, it's like they didn't build seams before the 1970s, nobody really cared if seams were together. I would drop the keys, I remember one time specifically, I dropped the keys right as the door opened and they were right on the edge of falling into the chasm

and I thought, oh, whew. I'll never do that again. Thank God. I didn't even think that. I thought, well, that was a close one. Grab the keys. Start doing it again. Throw them up again as I'm walking to my apartment.

Like, what are you doing? I figured you'd say, oh, never doing that again. And then do it again. I don't even, I don't have to even, I don't hold my spread over that. I'm scared of that. I have regard it. Okay.

So I'm riding this tilto world. I didn't get in and I feel my phone. I'm like, why did you, why did you do this? What do you have this? Then the first loop, whew, shooting off into space. And I don't know why it's not making me a rage because I have AppleCare.

I'm like, ah, great, new phone. Yeah, fuck you guys. Anyway, I don't know, I forget why I started telling that story. Let's bring, let's call Zubi up. Let's go, he says call Zubi up. Let's go. He says, all right, man. Call him up. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh. Hello, can you hear me? Yes, I can, Mr. Zubi music. Welcome to the show.

Hey, do a man. Yeah, I'm all blessed, man. How are you? I'm doing great. I am also doing all blessed. I've had a fantastic week. I'm just, you're also speaking with Sean, the audio engineer of the show. Hey, how are you? You are. Make sure I get this right. You are the current deadlift record holder, British women's deadlift record holder.

Yeah. Is that right? In bench press, 84 kg weight class. 84 kg weight was 2.2 pounds. Sorry, I said 84 kg weight class. 84 kg weight, oh, that's how much you weigh. How much I weigh? I got you.

That's quite large for a woman. Is that not, I don't know, kilograms. 2.2 pounds. I don't know about these days, man, but, yeah, that's right. Oh, you're right. I'm trying to. Yeah. That's medium size to share. XL is going into the multiple numbers in Walmart. Now, I'm going to play your video. So everybody can see it here in studio. This is, and I'll read the tweet. This is Zubi. Twitter, Twitter slash Zubi music. He says, I keep hearing about

how biological men don't have any physical strength advantage over women in 2019. So watch me destroy the British women's deadlift record without even trying. PS, I identified as a woman while lifting the weight. Don't be a bigot. Awesome. Don't be a bigot. Awesome. That was a monumental internet moment. Yeah, we're playing it right now.

There you are. As a woman, shattering the record, the deadlift record. Right. Looking very beautiful and strong while you're doing it. And there you go. And you're like, peace, let's get some lunch. And did you walk off?

What was the moment that you transitioned back into being a man or are you still a woman? Are you still a woman? It depends on my mood and the time of day and my general emotions and hormones at the time. I love it. I feel that way too. Yeah.

Don't we all, everybody's gender fluid now. So I may as well, you know, I think I'm gonna way too. Don't we all, everybody's gender fluid now, so I may as well, you know. I think I'm gonna start transitioning. I'm gonna start transitioning into a woman when I argue with my girlfriend, so I could get away with more, like, okay, honey, I'm gonna transition for a moment, like how could you fucking say that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, that was a bad one. That was a bad one. Yeah, gender fluidity is one of the greatest concepts I've ever heard of. It's fantastic. Yeah. Yeah.

What possessed you to do this? Now you're a big, you're a big phenomenon now that you've broken the women's. It's just so funny. It's so funny what you did. And it's so funny how pissed off everyone is like it's so funny that that is is what is now right? Because he's identified as a woman while I'm doing this bottle.

Sure, all right. A level of jackassery that no one would care about it's many years ago, but now we're all, wow, wow. I think it's 10 years ago it wouldn't have actually made sense.

People wouldn't even understood. That's true. It's like, if I went back to, if I went to Nigeria where my family is originally from and I tried to explain that tweet to them. Right, they'd be like, no, no one would even get like why it's funny or what it meant,

or like the whole context would just be gone. Not familiar enough with the culture. Yeah, there's no way they could understand that. It would seem, it would be almost like embarrassing to have to explain it. You're like, wait, and you, well, big up, but you're, why would you even do that? I can remember when I was, was a teenager, I had this Ford Mustang, right? I love that car. Yeah, it was a beautiful car. It was a cool car. And my buddy, my buddy did too. Yeah,

was the old life before they made him look like dolphins. Yeah, yeah. And my buddy, my buddy did too. Yeah, it was the old life. That was before they made him look like dolphins. Yeah. Yeah. And my buddy, it's kind of just to go back to his family who couldn't, who couldn't understand or contemplate why this would even be a thing or a thought. When my buddy and I were working on our car, we were totally detailing him and everything. I remember about 17, 18 years old. Yeah. I mean, we're out there like for hours.

We got toothbrushes out. You know what I mean again, it's like full on detail. And his, his grandpa was visiting. He comes out, checks mean, we're out there like four hours. We got toothbrushes out, you know what I mean? Again, it's like full on detail. And his grandpa was visiting, he comes out, checks out what we're doing, and it comes out like a few hours later, a couple hours later, he's like, what are you guys doing? It's, we're just working on, you know, we're just working on the car, there's somebody like that. And he's like, what's wrong with them?

We're like nothing. We're just cleaning, he's like, what the hell do you mean nothing's wrong? The why would you stand like work on a car? What do you mean work on a car? Like, are you idiot doing doing doing you like putting on how many coats of like if there's not why would you work? Why would you be around a car if it's not being driven for multiple hours? That doesn't that's not even a thing. What is is this like your dicks? What are you the hell are you guys going to do in nails and you're going to come your yeahicks? What are you the hell are you guys gonna do in nails?

And are you gonna come, you're, yeah, drop in the depression. You're like, oh God, man, I'm lucky I have a running car at all. Yeah. What made you think to do this? That I really want to know that it's, it's a very funny. What? Yeah, no problem, man.

So basically, so, okay, so to get rid of some misconceptions, so that video isn't from a sanctioned powerlifting meter or anything like that. That was just from one of my general standard training sessions. I gathered that. Let me rephrase the question. What made you want to be a female, what made you want to be a female powerlifter? Well, I saw everyone else was doing it. And I saw that I was actually, I did a quick Google search to see what the female British powerlifting records actually were.

And it turned out that I could crush both the deadlift and the bench press. The squat would take a little bit more work. So I just, and I- And probably some oides and things. Yeah, and I kept seeing all these stories coming up from various countries and parts of the world of um, you know, biological men, identifying as women or claiming to be transgender women and crushing women in all of these various sports, whether it's handball or yeah, or soccer or MMA or athletics, all these kind of stories just kept popping up and I was like,

wow, okay, well, it's brutal. So I just yeah, so there was enough time where it would happen like every week. There was a new gosh. Yeah, yeah, pictures are rough. My sister's athlete, and she's, she's small. She's a softball player, world champ softball player. So it really burns my ass when I, whenever I see stuff like that. Because like, I imagine her and they really, they try really hard. Like she's more dedicated to that than anything anything I've ever been in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Including women.

And it's like to see it get shit all over by someone like you who's not doing it to be funny. Yeah, I keep going though. So all right. Yeah, so I saw that and yeah, so I just tweeted it out. Like I tweeted a lot of stuff. I didn't know it was gonna blow up to the level that it did, but it seemed like the timing and tweeted a lot of stuff. I didn't know it was going to blow up to the level that it did, but it seemed like the timing and structure and context of everything of it.

Just a whole bunch of nerves. And so it just took on this whole life of its own. And what I thought was just a little funny thing that my followers would laugh at. And it would get you, maybe a few hundred re-tweets ended up becoming, you know, millions and millions of people saw that. It's so big because, or so funny because you're so big and you walk off so like such a jerk, like, fuck this, boom, done. Not even trying. What was the reaction?

Like what's the, what's been the best and the worst? You must get a shitload of, I mean, people must just hate you after something like this. There's most people love me for it. Yeah. The hate was literally like, I'll be honest and say about 1%. I would say it's 99 to 1. Yeah.

It's that, the overwhelming response was that positive. From across the spectrum, from men, from women, from actual transgender people, I do have transgender followers who thought it was freaking hilarious. It's a small, you know, the only people who criticize it. We're either who, young white people. Look, there are people who sort of halfway got the joke. There's people who, so people were angry for different reasons.

Some people were angry because they were like, man, you're not really a woman. What you did was unfair to women. How do you earn your love? I was like, you know, you're kind, you're not really a woman. What you did was unfair to women. How do you earn your love? And I was like, you're almost getting the point, but you're kind of just totally missing it too. And then, yeah, you had other people who were trying to claim it was some transphobic attack on the transgender community or whatever.

Or you just had people who are just completely ignorant to biology and who don't actually realize just how big the strength differential between men and women is. I mean, anyone who goes to a GM or trends or knows sports knows that it's gigantic. I mean, in terms of upper body strength, it's like typically it's like a two to three times difference. Yeah, and you, no matter how hard you wish and rub your hands together and click your heels, you can't undo millions of years of evolution.

I mean, how bad do you want to? I think it. If any woman wants to challenge me on that, we can go bench press, we can go deadlift, we can, you know, pick your strength related activity. Bro, down. Yeah. If any woman wants to challenge you and arm wrestling or anything like that, or chess, or maybe the mental games, like, see what they don't See what they underestimate is how much the mental part

of men's supremacy over women takes part in weightlifting and strength exercises too. You've got to remember a lot of things, Sean, you've got to remember how often did I work out today or didn't I? Oh yeah. We're going to a woman athlete, we'll forget that. That's where men will take, you know.

They do have it all over us in dog memes though. They will remember every dog meme, every dog picture they've ever seen, and the date they saw it and where they were. What bothers me about the natural differences also is that even between men, there's huge natural strength differences. Oh yeah, I have a big range.

I could almost, at this point in my life, I could never, I could almost never work out, and I will bench more than someone just as high, like just because I'm naturally, you're built that way. Yeah, I'm built to climb walls, man. I'm half Mexican. And it's like, this is what I'm, this is what I can do.

My legs will never be bigger than twigs. My dad's legs are twigs, but I'll always be able to throw up a bench bigger than a guy who's been working on it forever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There we go. So yeah, but um, you got any more? In terms of the positive response, man, geez, I mean, in the past couple of weeks, I mean, I've been here in California doing all these podcasts, you know, Joe Rogan, Rubin, Adam Corolla, this whole bunch of others. And a lot of those people discovered me because of that tweet initially, when people stuck

around the beyond because they realized I do a lot more than that. Yeah, he's been on them all week. How have you been? I was going to say, yeah, you had to do somebody like Rogan, I would think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does he have a neck in real life or is it just had like gumbee that goes into a spot? Yeah, he does. He does. It's a thick one. It's a one to into a spotting. Yeah, he does. He does.

It's a thick one. It's a one to one to fight him. Yeah. Yeah, that was dope. Also, it was on the Ben Shapiro show and a whole bunch of others, man. So the amount of opportunities, the amount of people listening to my music and my podcast and following my work since then has just grown pretty exponentially. Do you have, do you have any other female records that you're going to break, like maybe chess or something?

Well, clearly it wasn't a tack. It was like a transphobic attack. So everybody, he's inspiring every, every biological male to go out and smash powerlifting records the world over. Oh, yeah. No biological woman holds any of them. I do think that might be the only way to get through the nonsense. Yeah, it just seems like it's really putting the cart, I don't even know how to say it,

before the car before the horse, I thought the whole idea of acceptance was just letting people live their lives, not doing, not fucking, or like not trying to be whatever world class athletes. That's, I don't care about world class athletes. I don't think the battleground of this shit should be fought over who's the smallest of the 1% trying to be world class, whatever. Like just fuck off.

It's gonna be fought on so many fronts though. I mean, it's, it's, some people relate to that. Do you guys see that thing yesterday where Joe Biden was saying that in prisons, people should be able to go into whichever prison, whatever gender they identify as? That is so fucked. I did see that. It's crazy, right?

Yeah. It's crazy. It's crazy. And the most vulnerable people in the world, like we can't protect them from prison guards. Yeah. And we're going to throw a bunch of guys in there. Give me a fucking break, man. Yeah, it's very weird.

Yeah, that's in the US too. You're from England, right? You living here? I'm from the UK, I don't sound it, but I am. No, you don't sound it at all. No, no, I grew up in Saudi Arabia. Oh, you do? Yeah, and I went to an American school there.

Oh, I see, so you're right. Yeah, so there's thousands of people online who don't understand, who think I'm faking my accent and have been for my entire life. But this is just how I talk. It would be a damn good fake. What was Saudi Arabia like? I was in Dubai for like a week. And I I hated it. Now, were you living in one of those like one of those cities or states? Because I heard this about Saudi Arabia where there's areas where you know people who are over there for a long period of time like a people who work on you know

in construction or whatever like there are literally like walled-off places where you're kind of allowed to be an American and they don't want the Saudis in and they don't want you doing what you do out. Yeah, pretty much. Right, right, there are these crazy. So there are a couple of camps or compounds. Yeah. So there are a couple of companies out there, mainly in oil and natural gas and construction, like you said.

And so those are mainly primarily expat communities. So there's more freedom in those areas. It's not like you can do everything, you know, stuff like alcohol is still illegal and whatnot. Really? Yeah, yeah. You can't drink alcohol. Even within the walls of your compound.

No, no. Wow. So yeah, it's a very different society thing. So where I grew up was primarily what you're saying. I grew up, you know, surrounded by people from all over the world literally. But then of course, you'd also venture out into the various cities where you can more of a taste of, you know, venture out into the various cities where you get more of a taste of real Saudi Arabia as I call it.

You step outside of the bubble. So I've experienced both sides of that and all the pros and cons that come with it. A lot of people, I mean, even just yesterday on Twitter, because Saudi's one of those countries that everybody has a strong, almost everybody has a strong opinion on. That's by the fact that almost nobody's been there.

And people just know a couple of things that they've read here and there and they feel like they've got there, the authority to say everything about the country. And I'm always, I get a lot of stick for inverted commas defending Saudi Arabia because people want me to trash it. What's the biggest misconception? Because I'm probably one of those people. Like, I guess it's more of the government. Like I just fucking hate our relationship

with Saudi Arabia that we're always dumping so much money into them and just giving them money to them, not just like taking their fucking oil shity is that. Like they seem to have so much influence over everything that we do, cause, and I hate it.

I hate that part, it makes me angry. But what do you think the biggest misconcement? That's a fair criticism, but I mean, that's a criticism of the government's not of the citizenry and the people and, I don't know anything about that. I think a lot of times people conflate those things. People might do the same with Russia. I mean, people can easily do the same with the US. I mean, you've got a lot of people in a foreign countries who don't like the US because of

some of the things that the government has been involved in, including some of the wars and the way some of the stuff going on in the Middle East and the history and whatnot. And it's like, yeah, those are fair criticisms, but that's not the same as saying, okay, we'll all 300 million plus Americans are in support of this or our complicity or something like that. That's like, no, like the average. Yeah, the average Saudi person is not, you know, they're not the ones who are, you know, what the government does is what the government does.

And that's very criticized. But do they still have, I know in Dubai, they have like a, they have, I don't, I don't, I think they have a measure of slavery there where they import people from Asia and then take their passports away when they get in the country. So they're in there and it's like a form of indentured servitude for like 10 years. Do they have that shit in Saudi Arabia that you saw? I'll be honest, I don't know. It's not something I'm aware of. I know that stuff like that exists in all countries, even Western countries.

I mean, apparently there's more slaves now than there were ever at any time in history before, which sounds insane. I believe it. But apparently that's true. I believe it. It's just, it's totally sock to the, the wealth difference, the inequality between the, the Middle East, some parts of the Middle East and America versus like China and shit. It seems like, that seems like a deal I would be willing to do.

I don't really know what all the details are. So I hesitate to say something without risking just sounding ignorant. Yeah, but you have no problem breaking the female powerlifting record. Just really nilly, right? That's my realm of expertise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've always reckless.

He's reckless. I've always wanted to fund somebody to play like a woman's poker tournament because they have that they can't bar you from doing it if you're a guy or if you identify as a guy. I'd always I've always wanted to stake somebody. I know like a couple thousand bucks and he goes in the biggest fattest guy I could find. Oh God. Smoking two cigars the whole time, but he's got to win. Well, yeah, and there's always going to be,

you can be a good poker player, but there's an element of chance to that too. So it's like, there's no guarantee he's going to, he's going to skate through. I have some real egg on my face. How much did you beat that powerlifting record by? And can a woman beat it? So the video that went viral,

so the record I believe was around 215 kilos. Okay. The video I did that went viral was 230. My actual maximum is 275. So you gave them, that was nice of you. You gave them some room. I could have beat in a 100. I could have beat in it by 100 pounds basically.

Yeah. Yeah. I guess a woman could do that. She could beat 230. I don't know. And she should be proud of herself, what she does. I don't know, what's been your experience on all these right wing talk shows,

like Ben Shapiro and stuff like that. I imagine you've got a heavy dose of red pills and starting this thing. What's been your experience? I've been in red pills since before people even knew what the term, before that term existed, I was read-pilled. Oh, there you go.

Okay. I haven't really shifted politically since my teenage years very much. I've become a bit more libertarian and that's about it. Yeah. I've probably gone the, I've probably gone the other way. I think Ben Shapiro probably, probably. Yeah, I think so. It's not in Ben Shapiro, the only one in the city. Not in all cases though.

Right wing podcast I've done though. I mean I was on I was on Rogen. I was on Rubin. They're there both more liberal than I am. So yeah, I don't know. The whole left left wing right wing thing become silly. And you know left people are like, I'll go on more left wing pod. I'm like, yeah, what if they invite me?

So that's the thing that happens here too. Like nobody will come on. They want to hate you from a distance. A lot of the time. Yeah. Yeah. If you think of that wrong, like if you think I wasn't making any point with my power lifting video and you have big, I'm like, cool, like invite me to talk, like I'll explain

it to you if you really don't get it. Dude, it's fucked, it's fucked the amount of people who will just not talk to us. Like this is, this is a comedy show too, but I just happen to love him. Every time we have somebody from the left. It's always been a good experience. Yeah. Like on the, it's, I don't think they're that crazy. Like, I don't think the shit they say is that crazy too. Like some people just need help. I'm okay with giving it out. I just don't mean money being gone further to one side, but there's somewhere you're kind of quite liberal in your thinking on stuff, which is, you know, which is, means you're thinking

around it. Yeah. I mean, the silly thing is, I mean, I can't remember where I said this before, but we're living in a time where politics is supposed to be binary, but gender is a spectrum. That's funny. You know what? I've never heard it put that way. I've never heard it put that way, and that's really well said.

Yeah. Oh, okay. Are you left or are you right? I'm like, is it only, is it only options? Like, can you pick the Yankees or the Red Sox? That's who you get? No, you got a good one. Well, I think this and this.

Oh, so you're just love Trump. Right, you love Trump. Right, right, right, right, right, love Trump. Oh, by the way, line brown people up against walls and machine gun them. Yeah, that's the one. It's the, it's the, it's the, it's the huge leaps that go from one premise to the next.

It's like, oh, you're conservative. Oh, so you hate experts like, wait, hang on, hang on. We'll get enables them to, where did that come from? Yeah, compartmentalizing is a lot easier to write somebody off or a group off with. You know, let's go, oh, that's you. And you get away with more shit like the Justin Trudeau blackface thing that was gone in like 12 hours. Like a guy gets fired from SNL.

For what did he call like, he used like a Chinese slurers. It was, I watched, I watched the stuff that everyone was pissed about and I could see the joke he's trying to make. And like I could, I'm sure I've made similar joke, like racial based jokes where they just don't play. Like you think they're going to play.

Right. Has the entire rest of his life ruined for dropping a CH bomb, which I guess we're pretending that Asians are now offended by slurs, which is news to fucking me. The funniest thing is people getting offended on people's behalf. Well, yeah. That's the weirdest one, right? And it's normally, I mean, I don't like to use these labels, but it's normally like pretty rich, like white liberal people.

Yes, that's right. You're always getting offended, right? Black people's behalf, or K people's behalf, or Asians people. And I'm like, look, like people can, if I'm offended, I'm pretty hard to offend, but, you know, if something's genuinely offensive, like those people in question will say it. You don't need to jump and be offended on,

I love it when white people get offended. And they will mean to offend you. Like, they will figure out how to do it. Yeah, it's really, really bizarre. And then it's like, no, I'm good. It's like it's okay. We can take jokes. I mean, if you really want to have equality,

you want to actually be able to talk to everybody the same way and not treat people with certain kid gloves. That's right. Think, oh no, we can't, we can make that joke about that person. Yeah. But we can't about that person because they're in some sort of oppressed class or what I'm like, look, that's not, it's not actual equality. It's not saying go around and be mean or cruel or bigoted to people or anything.

But it looks. Which I'm also okay with. Go for it. I want to know who the, I want to know who the bigots are. Everybody, I don't want them talking. Like everybody say what you think. So I know who the fucking morons. Like so I know what I'm fucking dealing with.

I don't want to have to figure it out. I want to see the cards. I don't want, yeah. It always annoys me so much with all the black face shit and all the things, like all the things you can't say about whatever race, because if I was that race, I would say like that's very insulting that you think I'm so like you're protecting me. It's like the thoughts and prayers thing. Like I would pay you, how fucking dare you think that I'm that fragile to be offended by that.

You know? Like, oh, we can't have, but I feel so offensive to those people. Like, what the fuck do you mean? I'm not that person that you're talking about. I can't comment on the guarantee that the thing offensive about what Justin Trudeau did isn't what he did. It's the fact that he's the king of virtue signaling and all of this identity politics. Yeah.

Intersectional bull crap. And he's the one who has been caught in multiple, not it wasn't one thing, there were like three videos in the photos now. There were so many he couldn't remember. He said, I don't know how many, they said there's three or there any more. And he said, I don't know.

Like he's so, he was such a hobbyist of blackface. Where, Sean, did you see the third one? No. It was, he's, dude, okay. So he's doing, he's doing an Indian guy where he's like, lurcharously grabbed onto this young woman. I mean, obviously playing up, that he's some kind of a greedy,

a loose sultan or something like that, Browns. He had fucking brown hands. That's how committed he was. His second one is singing Dayo in Blackface, which is a, he had a talent show in school. This is what you're sitting there. If this was how talent shows went in schools, I would be at everyone with bells on.

This is fantastic display that we're seeing. The third one is him in Blackface with a giant cock, like a stuffed cock in his pants, which is totally indefensible. Not that I care or anyone cares, but it's like, this is the worst way you could do this. Yeah. It's hilarious, it's hilarious.

And have you seen that he's now changed his Twitter profile to him, like talking to a black guy? I'm talking to a black guy. I can tell you, I can tell you, I just can't believe that anybody... Oh, I thought that's the thing, man. his Twitter profile to him like talking to a black guy. I'm talking to a black guy. I can't even just can't believe it. Anybody hang on, which one here is Justin? Yeah, which one is Justin? Dresy did Photoshop and he's talking to himself

and he's like looking at the guy, like it's like a mirror reflection. Like obviously done by a PR team. Unbelievable. It's really, really, really. It's just so stupid. All of it is so fucking dumb. Well, a lot of these hardcore progressives, they're really overcompensating because it really

gets like these make feminists. So many of them have skeletons in their closet or dodgy stuff in their past. And so when it comes to light, it's just funny because it's like, oh, okay, Mr. White privilege. Yeah, man, my girlfriend's a teacher. She told me the story recently where they had like a 9-11 remembrance. And the lesson that they taught the kids was that 9-11 taught us that there's so much Islamophobia in the world.

Like, what the fuck are you talking about? You're not talking about like the complete erasure of the fourth amendment. That's not what we talk about. It's that there's too much Islamophobia. Yeah, they were forced to do this. Oh God. Um, but you guys are, what do you think of the state of the UK? You guys are fucked over there.

Daniel had called in a couple of weeks ago. It's just like you got roving face recognizing system. It's like, it's judge dread. It's two steps away from just being judge dread. I don't think that we're that far behind. No, no, that's true. Yeah, every time. Every time.

Every time. There's something going on in the Anglo sphere, man. It's the English-speaking countries that are really going off the hinges on some of this stuff, it seems. I think we're bored. I think there's just not enough good movies and video games. So everybody's trying to, I think I fucking think that's true, Sean. Need more. Well, you know, I mean, Hollywood's been out of ideas for decades. You know, I mean, I think there's too much comfort,

man. It's too much comfort. You know, there's certain people who are dealing with real problems, but a lot of the people who get caught up in this crap, it's because, you know, you've run out of real problems to solve in places where you've got real problems to solve, is nobody's caring about what pronouns people use or what bad through. Like 0.001% of the population uses or whatever. Like we're just trying to find problems and create them where they don't exist. It's like, cool, we've almost gotten rid of racism. So what we'll do is we'll change the definition of racism. We've almost gotten rid of white supremacy, so let's like change the definition. So it now includes everybody,

including black people and Asian people, and we can now keep propagating this bull crap. And people just feed into it, and not enough people are willing to just call out, look, no, this is nonsense. This is done. People just go along with it. The new thing, that thing with the SNL guy, it felt like a power move. This is a great white accent he's putting on, by the way. Oh, yeah. There's a great weatherman accent that you have. It felt like with the SNL thing and the Chinese slurs,

that they're trying to convince everybody that Asians are offended by these things. Because they already convinced everybody that black people and Islamic people are just naturally offended, like a totally unreasonable thing. Like, oh, they're all very offended. Now we're gonna do, now Chinese are too.

That's, I find that to be very disrespectful. Yeah, and then they do this as they're starting to discriminate against Asian people because they're becoming too successful in the world of academia. So they're making it harder for them to get into universities and stuff. Yeah. It's ridiculous.

It's just this victim oppressor narrative. And sometimes it flip-flops around a little and you're always just trying to, I don't know, the whole thing's just dumb. It's very antithetical to what is actually supposed to be liberalism and freedom and equality and what not. Yeah. It's just, you know, I don't get why more people don't, it's very obvious to me, but a lot of people.

I think a lot of people are starting to wake up to it, but. Well, we used to have a liberal guy who would come in and debate and stuff like this, but we ruined his life. So he hasn't come up to it. Yeah. You ruined his life. Yeah. Well, we got sued.

He got sued. He got fired. And so now he's forever associated with us. A PNG. Yeah. Oh, wow. What did you guys do? Oh, this jackass. I started dating this guy's ex-girlfriend. And he he lost his fucking mind. This old of years ago. Yeah. This guy Maddick. So I used to do a podcast with him. But we it was like a big. It was a it's a long story. Okay. He got he got caught up with the Trump syndrome.

He got very jealous and decided to sue me for a half a million dollars, excuse me. Yeah, well, I'm attracted. Right, right, right. It's fun times. And you get to defend yourself. You know, laughed out of court. Laptop court.

Laptop court. At the expense of $40,000 for the right. You still get to defend yourself in the good old US, you know. That was good. A privilege of paying five figures to defend yourself. But yeah, he worked for this guy, worked for a PR firm, and of course, you know, nothing, he didn't do anything wrong, but you know, a PR firm doesn't want any negative PR.

Many of their PR people who worked there. Well, they say, we're gonna let you go. I always ask everybody who calls in a couple things, Zubi. I don't know what to take, I'm gonna take a big hold of you. Are you a Titzer and Ask guy? Ask. All right.

Good. Good. Leave the tits for leave the don't don't go after those big titty girls. Now that you're famous, leave them all, leave all them for me. As a black man ever answered that

question in a different way. I wouldn't know what I didn't even think of that. I would know that. When you, when you piss, when you go to the bathroom, do you go over your waistband or do you go through the fly as God intended it? Which way?

I, I, I depends on what I'm wearing a bit of both. Okay, but like if you're wearing gym shorts or something like that? I'm gym shorts, yeah, I'll just, just pull it down. Okay, yeah, that's, so if the fly is there, you will. Yeah, I can wear jeans or something then, yeah, through the fly. Good answer. And finally, what makes you a rage? I ask everybody that. It could be anything small in your life, any bullshit like that. What makes me rage?

Yeah. Man, I'm the calmest dude in the world. You do sound very calm. Yeah. I'm very, very calm. Nothing makes me rage. Calmly smashing female records. I love it. That was relaxing. Let's go do another one. Yeah, you do roll with it wherever. Do you want to, where can people find your stuff? I'm sure you think so. I'm on all social media, Twitter's the best, but I'm also on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube. All of them are at Zubi Music, Zubi Y Music. My main website is ZubiMusic.com. You can check out my podcast and my book, Strong Advice there. And if you want to check out any merchandise, that is teamzubi.com, T-E-A-M, Zubi.com. You live in the UK currently?

I do, yeah, but I'm in the US for the next couple months. Oh, gotcha. Have you hung out with any American women while you're here? I've got a lovely girlfriend, so I'm trying to, you know, I see. I'm not trying. Right. I'm, yeah, yeah. You got that part out.

There's got to be some punctuation for that. We're all trying. We're all trying very hard. We're all very strong men. We're all trying very hard. All right, man, Have a have a good stay out here. Are you in LA right now? I'm in San Francisco right now. Oh, you're in San Francisco town. We'll have fun with that. Yeah. Yeah. I'm looking forward to escaping

soon to Texas. Oh, yeah. There you go. It's been all right, though. I don't want to dis the city completely. But there's some gets got some great points. Yeah, they got some stuff they need to work out. Did you know that their power lines are falling over because so many people piss on them that it has degraded the cement? Yeah, that's a real thing in San Francisco. Wow. That's an issue for them.

It's a city infrastructure issue. Yeah, well, they're taking homeless from a nice world. And I saw some stuff I've never seen in my life and I'm a very well-traveled guy. What did you see? Geez, man, the level of drug, the level of hard drug use just out in the open was terrifying. Man, it was never seen something like that.

People just shooting up and smoking crack like just out in the open on mass. It was just freaking weird and at the same time it's the most expensive city in the country. Very weird. Yeah, put up a tent for them. Just. Well, they're doing it. Don't hamper their expression. Yeah.

Yeah, dude, it's the whole different level't have don't hamper their expression. I mean, yeah, dude It's the whole different level of freedom. Yeah, all right. All right, man. Take it easy. Thank you for coming. Okay guys. I appreciate it Yeah, good one. Bye-bye He's a hell of a calm guy. Yeah, let's read some comments Sean Which is who's I liked him. Yeah, hell of a nice guy. Yeah, very calm. Yeah This is from Damien Which is his boobs. I liked them. Yeah, hell of a nice guy. Yeah, very calm. Yeah. This is from Damien Bruce, who's a truck driver who enjoys your content. I can shed some light in a couple things.

A lot of trucks, I remember we were complaining. Yeah, weren't you shitting on, yeah, you were shitting on trucks a lot. Yeah, because Carl did actually. Oh, Carl, who are these podcasts? Right, right. I was complimentary, I think. Yeah. I wasn't saying anything negative at all.

A lot of trucks are governed to a certain speed and can't pass any faster. So remember, they go real slow. Really like a hard fucking governor on that just, huh. That sounds dangerous. What if there's some kind of a bandit chase going on? It does sound dangerous. They can't get around that.

You'd think they'd at least let them go a little faster than the speed you're supposed to travel at. What if there's some kind of a flood? Right. And the truck driver needs to drive away very quickly. What if they have a bunch of vaccines that they're carrying and they need to get it where they're going to give all a bunch of people autism?

That would be fucking annoying. Yeah. I have a governor in your car. I had a governor in my old F-150 that would stop at it like annoying. Yeah, I have a governor in your car. I had a governor in my old F-150 that would stop it at like 85. Yeah Always pissed me off A lot of trucks are going to a certain speed and can't pass any faster But the guy on the right who won't slow down to let them pass always gets a middle finger called an asshole Okay, it's illegal for us to flash people

Over to pass us. Oh, because if you crash, we can be held liable. Okay, good to know. Yeah. Okay, that is what I want to talk about. This, this, because if you crash, we can help be held liable. Yeah, that is terrible. That shit has ruined the country.

Yeah, it's terrible. Do you remember, I brought this news article in... It takes any responsibility away from from the person doing the passing? Yeah, truck driver said it was okay. So yeah, send him to jail. Yeah, send him to jail for flicking his lines. Terrible judgment on behalf of the truck driver

and all the family of six and also illegal for us not to have mud flaps carries a heavy fine. I've been driving for 15 years. I've never seen a transsexual prostitute at a flying jay, most only at Petros. Most only, so we see them at Petros. Okay, this is the thing I brought in that reminded me of.

Michelle Carter denied parole, but we'll get an early release after conviction in boyfriend's suicide. Oh, yeah. Just sure I do, yeah. Who got thrown in, I would like to know, this is one where I cannot, no matter how hard I bend my brain and twist it into a pretzel,

I cannot fathom the reason behind faulting another person for someone's suicide. Like, are you fucking kidding me? That, yeah, it's, what is, this is my, if you're not able to tell people to kill themselves and hope that they go through with it, what is the point of life? That is, that is how I want most of my interactions to go.

Oh, hey, sir, do you have a minute to talk about global warming? Actually, I'd like you to kill yourself. Buck, I'm gonna do it right now. Yeah. I should probably stop. Should I call, I'm calling the ambulance right now. Don't call an ambulance. Okay, if you say so, that, dead.

That sounds like a perfect interaction to me. It doesn't it. And this is, and that would send me to jail? Conceivably, there's a, there you go. There's a precedent for it now. I cannot, I can't, I'm at like, we have a Walmart has stopped selling vapes. Pharmaceutical, big pharmaceutical companies

are responsible for people doing drugs somehow. A little girl is responsible because some other brain case with no parenting killed to deranged people meet online. And I mean, this should be that every fucking orbiter that is constantly salting some chicks' earth online, chatting them up, hitting them up all day, should be full the same fate and we'd all be better off.

You know what that should tell people, that whole story, it should tell something, it should tell parents, like, hey, find out what's going on with your kid. Like, maybe check in with him once in a while. Yeah, and if you notice him acting a little strange or anything, I mean, does he, you know, like, maybe, no, that's not like, oh wow, somebody, somebody made this poor victim kill himself, you know,

like the kid. Oh, wow. Obviously as you see that issues, there's other people I assume within his orbit. I mean, are we to assume that this, there's the two sides of the coin, like the overt abuser and the person who has not even a suggestion of a spine are both just as damaged and bad. They are both, it's two sides of the fucking coin to dump it all on a one.

Here's a lesson that you gotta sit down and talk to your teenage son about. Hey kiddo, everything in your body is gonna tell you what I'm saying is wrong, but it's very important lesson that I need you to know when you're going forward in life and especially as you're a teenager. No blackface. No blackface.

Yes. Yeah. Don't, no, don't listen to women. Whatever they tell you to do, don't do it. That's gonna serve you well in life until you marry one, and even then, until your finances are the same, don't listen to them and even then, run it by somebody else first. Because they're gonna tell you to do some stupid shit at all, at every single point in your life,

because they like seeing it. Nothing good is on TV, and they know they can make you do something fucking stupid. They will try to right here They will try to do it not their fault God just made them like this because he wanted something to watch Not their fault. They can't control the original reality TV show. Yeah, just for God He made them crazy. Yeah, he made them suggest crazy things to do and the most important thing you could do in life is not do it. Otherwise, it's all on you, man. Big pharmaceutical companies are responsible for you taking drugs.

Nobody's responsible for anything. Nobody, you know. But video games don't make us, video games make us kill people, and a little girl is responsible for a for some idiot killing himself but to thunderous applause send the bitch to jail like over and over and over and over I can't fucking rabble like this is this is why we can't have any them. This is why I'm not allowed anywhere this why I'm not allowed in Australia because

of shit like this. Well, he's toxic influence. Can't have him. That's not a thing. That's not a fucking thing. It's not a thing. Really bothers me. That's specifically really bothers me.

It bothers me how many people don't see it that way. Oh, I know. No, but she told him, oh, but she was really telling him. It's really unsettling. She was really, she told him many times. Took advantage. Took advantage of what?

Yeah. She was running an ad. Is that what was happening? Well, we better make fucking ads illegal, which we have done. And so now you've got a, now you've got a sanitized world driven by ads for products that are non-harmful. What are the consequences of that?

A bunch of overly sanitized horse shit that's safe for these fucking ads. Good job idiots. It's because of shit like this. Okay, handcules, I just got finished listening to you having your balls inflated. And I gotta say, as somebody who had butt surgery the day before, most 4D media

experience I've ever had in my life truly was suffering along was horrific 11 out of 10 podcast. Well, Ryan asked, I thought Sean was serious about the ball inflating, but this is funnier. Yeah, I think even after you saw it, if you were in, you would not have not had. Even if you were in like you were. I, it never crossed my mind to seriously even contemplate that. But needles don't bother me at all. No. No, good for not at all. Let's see here.

I can watch it, I can, you know, all that shit. Got some advice. I kind of wanted to wait till Ari was here. We could take a break until she gets here. Yeah, let me take a piss and get a coke. Go ahead, I would like a coke too. Please. Thank you. All right. Welcome back to the show. Thank you. All right. You missed a hell of a week last week.

I heard you hear about that. Yeah. I went through with the saline ball inflation. You actually did it? I did it. Wow. It was some, it was the most painful 40 minutes of my life that probably took about 10. Once you have the needle, there was a lot of pre-staging. There was a lot of staging of props and such. Did you have to keep it in there? You were like, the needles? They spell out no, the saline. Yeah, it got absorbed. Yeah, but I was rocking.

Just rockin', man. I mean, that's so cool. Yeah, I was rocking some of the, I was rocking a set of mangoes. Like you have never seen in your life, like a chimpanzee. Pretty good for a day. Yeah, no, you know what, it feels great forever. Did they say that size? No, no. Oh. They, it feels great forever. Like I feel- Do they say that size? No, no.

They shrink back down. In his mind. In his mind, they stay that size. They shrink back down to your average man's aesthetic size. But in spirit, I think they still are. Like I feel like, I don't know what rejuvederm is, but I feel like, if there was a, I feel like a Mint five commercial, mint five gum

that's taking place in my sack at all times. That's just mad. It feels disgusting. You've ruined gum for me. I'm never chewing gum again now. I've never had a makeover, but like when they peel that stuff off in movies, like a milk bath, it feels like I've just had a milk bath, but you know.

For your balls. For my balls. Yeah. Milk ball bath. That sounds fun. It was great. That's great. And I have that like mental confidence that you have these huge balls now, even though

if you're on back. Even though you don't. Yeah, I still feel like phantom ball syndrome. Oh, right. It feels like, really phantom ball syndrome. So is this going to be a regular thing? Just like every month, you just, what I asked.

Well, the look on my girlfriend's face as it was happening tells me, it tells me I have a new negotiating chip on the table. Maybe this will be a birthday thing or a Christmas thing. Maybe I'll just do it for parties, pop over to Thanksgiving and my parents come. Just go permanent. Wait, birthday thing for you or birthday thing for her?

Why not both? Hey. True? It's a dummy. Maybe it's just a new hobby. So I knew it, did she like it? Oh yeah. She was going crazy.

Really, really create like two crazy, like all right, settle down there. These things are attached. Definitely a regular thing for sure then. Yeah, probably. Okay, do you have some news for us? I do. I do. I do. People were saying you wouldn't come back because we talked about so many gross things. People don't usually come back. Oh, fuck. So we're going to be very sophisticated today, Sean.

Oh, yeah. I'm not talking about blackface anymore. Okay. Oh, no, I guess. Or Mexican face. No, there's... no, nobody on this show has done that. That's the black face. Yeah. Have you never done? No. No, you've never done. God no.

Are you done? Why would I, face? No, but every time I do my make a backslank a little too dark and just had to go with it. I was like, well, fuck it today. Well, there you go. I'm good with that. Okay, what have you got for us?

Okay, so speaking of- You can just read, I'm sorry, I didn't tell you last time. You can just read the summary directly. I made it complicated last time. And then I, you're good at it. What do you, did you come from a club last night? Are you wearing a- John, that's how beautiful I'm addressed.

What are you talking about? No, no, no, no, the wristband, the wristband. That's for a club, that's- You do have a W wristband. Yes. Were you at the W? Yeah, I called it. Okay.

You see how, I realize there's like, oh, she thinks I'm talking about her outfit. That's a hot girl awareness bracelet that she's wearing. Yeah, no, there's a journey to rip that off for you Ari. I would be happy to do that, of course. Everyone always gives me shit for it. And I'm like, that's fine. I didn't mean just take your trash bag. Sorry, I didn't with those on many times.

Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Sean was a big party animal, club rat. Not a club rat. No, but I, you go, oh, yeah, I forgot to take this off. Yeah, I forgot I forgot where my wallet and keys are as well. Me too. It's a badge of honor, but when it's like a festival wristband,

you got them all like for the party. Yeah. I forget to take them off too all the time. Yeah, Sean. I forgot to take your nail polish off. Oh, I finished shit. All up at the bottom. Ah, I stretch out like that.

Oh, burning man, no big deal. I don't know what you were up to. Ask me about my tan. Okay, what have we got? Okay, so speaking of balls and dicks and whatnot, a man's penis rotted after he injected it with petroleum jelly to try and make his member bigger. Oh, oh, yeah.

Don't do that. Don't do that one. So don't, yeah, not in your dick, just your balls. He recalled injecting himself with petroleum jelly. Is that Vaseline? Yeah. That's like, Loub, what you think it wouldn't be bad? Maybe coconut oil would've been better.

Man, I went through a jerking off phase as a teenager with Vaseline and that was horrible. Well, it's pretty thick. It's extremely thick. I still have scarring in my brain, not on my penis, from doing that as a kid. Nobody told me that that was dumb. Yeah. I just thought, well, you know, they always make jokes. Fucking the sitcom comedians making jokes about vastly. The name brand, yeah, I know. Yeah, that totally fucked me up. So I guess all the stuff

I'm saying about kids not being influenced is all bullshit. I jerked off of gasoline and it hurt because TV told me to do it and make everything illegal. Re-evaluate your life. Okay. It's bad. Cooking oil is a much better alternative just for the future. Some of you should give me that. Somebody said grape seed oil. You ever heard that? Yeah. That's what you like. No, that's what I've heard though. Is that like the new gift for a man a nice masturbation pack? I don't know. All different oils. I don't know. CBD oils. Okay. Keep going. That could be, yeah. Okay, keep going. That could be, yeah.

He injectes it over two years ago. The penal shaft was grossly deformed due to gangrene with rotting flesh and blood. Yeah. Well, the man was rushed into the emergency room, surgery, and endured two more operations to save the remains of his genitals. Doctors concluded the most likely reason

for the development of his gangrene as the patient would be related to having a form material which have secondarily become infected after the integrity of the skin barrier which is breached after the skin-itching area. Can they just shoot him instead of saving his penis? Is this such an idiot? Cut it off.

At that point, you don't deserve to have a dick anymore. Yeah, agreed. Fill out this form, please. We can give you a transplant, but you don't deserve to have a dick anymore. Yeah agreed Fill out this form, please we can give you a transplant, but you're gonna have to earn it buddy And he wait he waited a while to is what it sounds like gang green Right again green is penis. That's a good name. So I should green is gang green gang green is penis That'll be the next DJ. It's a good band. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm gang green is penis That would be my DJ. Gross. Hello. Greetings. Gross. Jackass. Okay. Okay. Are you DJ?

All right. Have you ever had any interest in being a DJ? Yes. You have? Yes. Oh wow. I bet you would be a good DJ. I really want to be this hopefully. Someday. Someday. What's this? What do you have to learn how to press play? No, that's the point. Like I could do that now.

I want to actually be able to like produce it and mix it myself so I don't have to be some dumb. Oh, yeah. Me and Sean, Sean went to LA recording school. Sean doesn't know shit about being a DJ. OK, next, please. Trying to help a guy out. No. Authorities are encouraging. I'm not a out. No. Authorities are encouraging.

Authorities are encouraging women who might be linked to fatal remains found at an abortion doctor's home in. Cheesys. Kind of nooses this. Painis is rotting in abortion doctors. Yeah. I'm going to have a talk with the news guy. Yeah, right? More cat cafe stuff. More than 2200 medically preserved fatal remains were located at the home of deceased abortion doctor. So he died too. That's how they found him. Ew, he died September 3rd of authorities said we're in natural causes. More than 50 detectives searched his home where they found more than 70 cardboard boxes that contain the fatal remains. Oh my god. How many?

70. How many? 70. How many fetuses were in there? I did just say 70 cardboard boxes full. Boxes of fetuses. Trying to create a flock of flying babies. Oh my God. He's just hoarding his collecting them all. He's collecting them like,

Popeye is a vampire. Huh. Well, everybody's got to have a hobby, I guess. Take your work home with you. Okay. Uh, Democratic President candidate said he found the discovery Well, everybody's got to have a hobby, I guess. Take your work home with you. Okay. What's... Democratic President candidate said he found the discovery to be extremely disturbing

and that he hopes that this matter will be fully investigated and also hope that it doesn't get caught of a hot day. What a bold stance. What a bold stance. That's investigating. That's brave. That sucks.

Yeah. Guys been hort taking fetus's home. Yeah. We're going to really investigate. Well, what's to investigate? Well, you know what, it appears that he took some fetuses home with them. Investigation concluded.

Who cares? He's dead. Is it? Yeah. Everyone's really? Is it part of a fetus stealing ring run out of the basement of a place? Is that?

Yeah, they have a tunnel to Israel where they take all of the fetuses and sell them over there for Okay, that's a filthy filthy profits What do you got there? Hey, whatever it goes you be It's taking an item is that a purse? Yeah, I forgot I had it on it. Oh, okay. That's a good start You just committed to it so I just have to take it off Okay, there we go. Okay.

What's next? Bailey Summers from Hartpool was on the receiving end of an unprovoked punch, which saw him taken into the ER. The rule prank involves a boy being asked to name the capital of Thailand before he was punched in the groin as a... Bangkok, thank you. Was I remember that one? Yeah.

Do people do that? Oh yeah. Definitely. That's so fun. I'm thinking about car, thanks. I mean, I remember that one. Yeah. Do people do that? Oh yeah, definitely. That's so fun. I'm thinking about hitting some of those things. I've been the victim and the perpetrator in that one. You never played slapstick? I guess you wouldn't have. That was homeschooled.

Oh, really? So you're a weirdo. You're not familiar with penis slapping games, like a normal children in public school, right? Sean? Yeah. Yeah, you get a good stance off with your buddy and you do backhand, oh, no, flaps, flaps.

That's a flat. I never, I never played that. Oh, yeah, that's a flat. I thought that school that you go to. It's a little gay. Public school, a little gay. Extremely. No, I did the Bangkok game.

You know, you only get somebody once with that obviously, but yeah, slap dick, no. I never saw that happen as a matter of fact. It's the Bangkok game. You know, you only get somebody once with that obviously, but yeah, slap dick. No, I never saw that happen as a matter of fact. It's a great game. I haven't played in a kind of, probably about a year. Well, you were on a baseball team. Baseball school, that's when the shit, like, yeah. It's when the shit like that happens.

How was home school? It was weird. Why weird? I mean, it was interesting. It was just... Did your mom teach you? Yeah, and then I eventually taught myself at the end. She was like, all right, it was interesting. It was just... Did your mom teach you? Yeah, and then I eventually taught myself at the end. She was like, all right, you're good.

I do it. Did you call her a teacher like Miss Mom? No. It's called her mom, but it's sucked when I would get school close and I come downstairs like, yay, and then I'm like, cool, I'm in my kitchen wearing my outfit. Was it just you?

It was me and my siblings. All taught at the same time. How many in your house? How big is your family? There's four of us. Four kids. Four kids. Yeah.

Where'd you guys learn the same? See when life says so. No, different ones. My sister, my sister was older than me and so she kind of taught herself more. And then like, once we got to the basic family, it's like, all right, you're good. And then like later I went to private school

and then home school again. It was like, oh, wow. How long would your school day be? I hated school more than anything. I hate going and sitting there with all these idiots and listening to another idiot. Tell me, should that should be obvious right away, but then spending another hour explaining it and re-explaining it and re-explaining it. It sucks, but if you think about it, everyone used to, I got to meet kids and they'd be like,

oh my god, I wish I was home-school and I'd not think about it. You got to do the school anyway. You'd rather go with your friends and be by yourself. By myself. Really? That would be your answer. Yeah, that's. And it would have been perfect for you.

Yeah. Yeah, after a minute, it got to really junior high. My mom would be like, okay, just like, practice your multiplication tables and go fuck off. So. Wow. Would you homeschool your kids? No.

Did you grow up here? No, it's Texas. Oh, Texas. And Indiana. But honestly, I think that like, I hated it. And then when I got older and I saw like, just I see things kind of differently. And I like, my parents were cool.

So I did have good influences in my life. But it was just like, I don't know, parts of me. I was like, I've never homescored my kids. But then now I'm like, I might consider partially. Yeah. A little bit. Yeah. Otherwise, they come home, the opposite gender.

Sent them in. Oh, wait, they're like, I live in the high school, then okay, now go. Now, the opposite gender and they're vegan, all of a sudden. Yeah. That's, you know, they're you saying about whether, you know, this green bean was humanly raised.

They're saying annoying catch phrases that they learned from their friends. It's like, okay, you didn't say that yesterday. And now that you're saying that. That is kissing me off. That is funny. That yeah, you've watched the little, I watch my nieces like they'll, they'll, all of a sudden they're from TV shows and also from friends at school, you know, they got their little,

got their little phrases that they heard and are totally novel to them. I was, I was playing the little, my nephew, the Liars, when he's six, I was playing him a video game, I beat him and he goes, oh, Uncle, you're so mean. And I thought, what the fuck, where did you do that? That just doesn't sound like you. Who have you been hanging around with? That's not how we talk.

You're the one who's mean to Uncle. Normally. Let's put this down. We say, fuck you. Yeah. Right. You cheat. You sniping pieces, shit. Right, each shit. You cheat, you sniping piece of shit.

Right, each shit. Each shit, asshole. Each shit, Uncle. You throw a controller. We do not say, Uncle, you are so mean. Right. No, not in this house. Let's play it again, but watch it.

Right. I'm going to win again, because you suck at video game. Right. Now, insult me and put some stank on it. Yes. Hey, fuck, Uncle. Fuck you. Yeah's something. Now insult me and put some stank on it. Yes. Hey, fuck, Uncle. Fuck you. Yeah.

Exactly. That's what I want to hear, I'm saying. Shuff it up your ass. Yeah. Okay. Well, he'll stand up to those pesky bosses when he's old. Yeah, we mean. Yeah.

Yes, that's not a, whatever you think that means, not what it is. Yeah, at least say, like you're being a dick, at least go to that level. Yeah, I mean, meaning it's such a, you're being really mean. I bet you feel like a real man now beating up a kid at video games, you small bald fuck, that's something that we say.

Right, okay. Not in Maria of Big Balls now, so. I do. He has the memory of Big Balls. Yeah, the memory of Big Balls. True. I feel better than other men with their small balls, small minds. Oh, with the expanding balls comes the expanded mind.

Is it acid now? I just feel better than people now. I don't know what to say. I look in a guy's eyes and I think you've never know what it feels like to just have like a huge bowling ball sack. You've always felt better than people. Now I know it. Now you know it. You always suspected you were better than everyone else.

And now you know it. Okay, well, good confirmation is good. I wouldn't want that illusion shattered. There'd be no show. Oh my God, about that same nut story or? No, I'm tired of hearing those gross abortion gang greenish in his news, right? Okay.

There. Did I fuck up these prints again? There's a lot of, there's printer problems this morning. Okay, ooh, a man from Texas is wanted by police after allegedly filed and completed a divorce against his wife without knowledge, without her knowledge. Paul Nixon 51 is accused of abrogated forgery after authorities discovered

fraudulent divorce papers. Nixon filed a divorce paper on Friday and the day after Valentine's Day with judge and then signing the divorce over and April legally dissolving his marriage. So it's not that she didn't know it's that they were not legitimate papers, right? No, she didn't know after Valentine's Day. Oh no, I know she didn't know, but was it, is that the crime or is that the papers were,

well, there were forgeries, right? Yeah, the crime is that he forged it. Yeah, okay. But also I don't think she even knew he was getting a divorce. Right, right. Which is not a crime. I don't think.

That's fucking nonsense. That's what I'm trying to ask her to do. That's another thing Islam is right about. What? You say it three times and you're divorced. Really? That's how it works there. I don't know if that's how it works.

No, that's how it works. You know who? We have a witch girl. Yeah. Her dad would threaten her mom by saying it twice. And then, Is my save one more time? But like, is it, you know,

is it like shea or Suni or, you know, those are the same. Oh, okay. Those are the same thing. You're fucking, you're getting, you're getting a plane crashed in your house. Bring it on. Let's go. You try fucking, you're getting, you're getting playing crashed in your house. Bring it on.

Let's go. You try to fucking crash a plane into this house. Okay. Are those all out of order? Let me see those. Probably. Oh, we got here. Don't shoot a jar collection, the shit cutter.

Yeah, here we go. Start with, there we go. See one out of, one out of the, the bowl is the strangest sentence I've ever heard. Start, the shit cutter. Yeah, here we go. Start with, there we go. So you want to, the bowl, the strangest sentence I've ever heard. Start with the shit cutter and then it continues right there. The shit cutter. Yeah. Okay. And then this page is done, that front page is done.

And the anthropologist reported in 1998 that there was a well-known account of a stranded, in-nute man, grafting a knife from his own frozen, a crimint that was sharp enough to, excrement. Oh, shit. Yeah, frozen shit. That's a shit out of knife.

To kill a butcher, a dog. To kill and butcher a dog. You know what's going on in the world? There's like a climate strike and trying to fed pumped 120 billion dollars overnight, something that should signify massive problems in the economy ahead. And we have our news is a shit knife and a guy's penis falls off. Yeah. That's a problem. A shit knife. To kill those are the real. Those are the real problems. To kill and butcher.

So how did it stay frozen? I mean, while he, I mean, butchering a dog, I don't, I wouldn't think it's like a five-minute job. No, I don't think so. Researchers froze a specimen of temperatures minus 58 degrees Fahrenheit, sharpening the poop blades with metal files and keeping them chilled with dry ice until they were ready to be tested and refrigerated. Okay.

And pig eyes. Resourceful. Okay. And big ice. Resourceful. I pooped out of knife. In the end, the poop knives simply didn't make the cut. So it's false. It's false. You can't make a knife out of poop. Okay.

I'm going to read some advice. All right. Advise questions. Please stick around. I want to get your, I want to get your take on these things. This is from James. Oh, thank you, by the way. Thank you for reading the news.

We need some world news. Thank you for coming back. We need some world news in here. Not just grotesque poop knives and balls, those are the, who pulled those news from us? I don't know, I've gotta have a talk with them. Hey, Dick, sorry for the short notice. I need some advice.

I'm going on a date tomorrow night with this girl, and I recently just got out of a three year relationship. I'm definitely not trying to jump back into one. I'm just taking her out roller skating, but what else should I do? I'm honestly just trying to get into her pants. Roller fucking. Yeah, roller fucking.

Come out with it, right? You be very upfront. That's what they say, honesty is right. Just saying, look, I'm just using you for sex. I have no interest in who you are. You're nothing but something to gratify my loneliness and depression to me. And it's a worse thing I've ever heard. Honest, he's very important. Yes, I know. I think I mean, some girls are down for that. Like I think if you're just honest, like sometimes the girls aren't even looking for a relationship

either. For sure. Yeah. So if you're honest, like honestly, if you're just honest, like sometimes girls aren't even looking for a relationship either. For sure. Yeah. So if you're honest, like honestly, if you're taking a roller skating, trying to be all sweet and she's not looking for a relationship, she could be like, uh, weird, you know. Try this one. While you're skating, just go like,

uh, mm, just put the old finger into the, um, there are girls, some girls are just into that. I think girls just say that. They say that, but then you say, well, how about you? No, no, not me. No, I mean, right now, yeah, I'm not,

I mean, I'm not trying to talk, but I'm not trying to just not focus on guys at all. But I feel like there are some girls that are focused on like, the hose. Yeah, they just wanna, you know, and that's okay. I think like they're open about. They're hanging out behind the roller skating rink.

Yeah, right, yeah. Leave the girl you went there with, come back, come back, and then you're good. Take some MDMA, put it at the end of a fishing line, cast it down the alley, and then really, yeah, way easier than taking a girl on a date. No, then she's gonna be attached.

Oh, yeah, because she knows her hookup. This is from NAR, HiDick and Sean and guess if applicable. My life has been fortunate enough to give me this opportunity, but I feel like I'm in over, oh, hold on, let me see what his actual line was. Oh, he put it in the subject. Sorry. Three-way imminent need technical advice. This is three-way imminent. Wow. by imminent need technical advice. This is freeway imminent. Imminence. Oh, wow. Count your pussy's before they hatch, buddy. My life has been fortunate enough to give me this opportunity,

but I feel like I'm a bit over my head. I need advice on acts, positions, and techniques that work enjoyably in practice. We've all seen over thinking, over thinking alert. John, you gotta really think it through the positions logistically. Refresh, just lying a plane. If you can find it, go to the breakout your high school geometry books. You learn, relearn the word congruent.

Yeah, I saw Silesia's triangle. We've all seen porn, but I wouldn't want to consider it optimized for actor pleasure. Oh, he wants to maximize his pleasure in the threesome and wants positions. We've all seen porn, but I wouldn't want to consider it optimized for actor pleasure. Oh, he wants to maximize his pleasure in the threesome and wants positions. Well, I'm glad he's worried about that. I mean, hey, if you get a one, if your girl gives you a one-chammy, try to do something. She gives you a one, like a pass. Is that what he said? He has an opportunity.

Yeah. You got a max, Michael, not? Just as many times as possible say, I can't wait till we do this again. Start planning that seed immediately. That's a, and with the amateur label being slowly eroded by commercial interests, I turn to you, Sean, your guests,

as well as your local and global audience. How well does dual blow jobs, human chains, et cetera work? Well, how well does dual blow jobs, human chains, et cetera work in the real world regards, um, Pellys, Sivanlo's Swedish communist, uh, PS love your show on ironically. Wow, what kind of positions, what do you recommend in a situation like, I mean, I feel like you would know more of what feels better for the guy since he doesn't really care what girls think about it. What, but what about for the girl? I mean, to be honest, I've never had a threesome, but...

Really? Yeah, the closest I got was when I was still a virgin and I was a virgin in this guy wanted to get with me and my friend and he's like, how about I fuck her and eat you out? And then she got really offended that he didn't want to eat her out and so then we just like never meant to think of normal. So nobody got anything. It's very difficult to balance the young men and their mouths.

I was like, you guys stay in here, I'm gonna go to the couch. That's probably the best position. Just don't do anything and let them do all, or go make a sandwich, go make a sandwich for yourself, come back in. The calda cool smoke now. Yeah, what do you think, Sean? What do you recommend for this? Positions, I have no fucking idea. Come back in. The Keldeak. Cool. Smoke now. Yeah.

What do you think, Sean? What do you recommend for this work? Positions. I have no fucking idea. Positions to maximize his pleasure. I don't know. You can't, I don't think you can plan all that shit out like that. I mean, only to an extent.

You let them, let them go to work on each other. And you just go watch the Godfather too. That's probably the most pleasure a man could get in three way. The part where he goes, you know, where they could flash back to the young or he goes and get in and kills turn the beach, you know, like, keep it down in there. I'm like, I'm in cars like a half moon. That's like a truck. Now you're right. Oh, man. I got to be by myself for a few minutes. That sounds like a three way. I want to be a part of. I gotta be by myself for a few minutes. That sounds like a three way.

I wanna be a part of it. I watched the new Rambo movie. You see that? Sylvester Stallone, that talk about body goals. He looks like he's a column. It's so sexy and powerful. He looks like clay face from Batman. Oh no. Like he's got no human anatomy anymore.

He's only, he consists of steroids. Yeah, mud. It looks amazing. Yeah, he's hulking. I feel like such a girly all he does is compare to him. His head is a square. Like the blockheads from Gumby. It's so, he turns to the side and you swear

that there's been some kind of a mistake in the film that his upper lip sticks out into another dimension. And his lips are still really tiny and stretched out. His shoulders take up entire doorways. He has to turn around, turn to the side to get steroids and mud. God, he looks great. They were showing a clip after the movie. They show this montage, after the movie, which is incredible. Great movie. They show a montage of the old Rambo movies, like leading up to this one where he looks like a normal human. And then evolves into this beautiful,

especially like what a man should look like after 50 years of steroids. She's a human growth. And his he had plastic surgery. Sure, yeah. Whatever he's had, I wanna have it. I'm sure I'm gonna have to. It looks amazing.

Okay, oh yeah, that was our advice. Okay, this is from Dead Helm. I need some advice. I need to lose my virginity. But now that I'm out of a Christian high school, there's more than stuck up in bread, men and night bitches. Wow, spicy.

Well, that's a great attitude. Yeah. Oh no, he said there's more than. Okay, so he's giving them a shot. I see, high school wasn't fun. He's giving regular girls a shot. Okay, that's nice. But I wanna lose my virginity to a black girl.

Okay. How about you just worry about job one? Ever? Ever remember if you're that, you know, Ford used to, you know, quality as job one. What is that? Ford? No, it was just an extra,

it was just their slogan and like the 80s or something. But it's, you know, you're already, you're just already kind of narrowing your field, aren't you? I mean, a black girl, black people are 13% of the US population. Oh yeah. I'm just playing numbers. Maybe he's at the Walmart that, maybe he lives next to that Walmart that James would

do. But in Central Valley, there really isn't a lot of black girls. Well, yeah. Well, okay. I guess I should have just had you read that then. But Lady Luck is on my side for some reason. There's a lot of black girls at my school. The point I'm trying to get at is, have you ever had a racial preference?

Have you ever had a racial preference for men? I'm like 10. I'm trying to get at is have you ever had a racial preference? Have you ever had a racial preference for men? Like 10 and attractive. Okay. Yeah Sean. Have you ever had a racial preference for men? No, not since I'm not since I transitioned. Oh, yeah, I'm thinking about transitioning back though I need to break a few powerlifting records and then I'll you know go back to break a few powerlifting records, and then I'll go back to a woman. And yeah, I do wanna do that. I wanna transition and then just walk into a Starbucks, like, I need to talk to the manager!

Just get it out of my system. Right, right? Yeah, sure, right. And then go back, it's like, you know, okay, thank you. Sorry about that, I was a woman and when I did that, now I would like my Americana, please. Oh my God, yeah. Have you ever wanted to transition into a man?

No. No. No. But I've, from where I'm from in Texas, there's not a lot of transgenders and here there's a lot. And I, yeah, a lot and I don't ever know until like I'm really good friends and having sleep hours. It's only and I'm like, oh, cool. Really? good friends. I'm having sleepovers late. Oh me and I'm like Wait really like a sleepover and it's a it's I mean it was a man. Yeah, what yeah, you didn't know

No, I know So they were that they were that convincing hot yeah She was so hot dude. I saw her vagina later cuz I was like I'm really curious and she was like Do you want to see it? And I was like yeah, and I was like, I'm really curious and she was like, do you wanna see it? And I was like, yeah. And I was like, holy fuck, like, it's a vagina. Like, it looked, I was like, dude, it looked great. Really? No way. No way.

Can I see this person? Do you have like an Instagram or something? I don't wanna put her a blast. I'm not gonna say who it was. I mean, I met her actually at this event and we became friends and then we ended up. Just point your camera up so this camera's don't get it. I put your phone up. I went, and then we, I flew to Miami to meet up with her and we were like and then we didn't go to the emmy. Just point your camera up so just cameras don't get it. Point your phone up.

I went and then I flew to Miami to meet up with her and we were like hanging out having tacos and she just like randomly told me like, so I had to go. You know what I'm saying? She probably only needs vagina. Wait, your day? No, she said that and I was like,

oh, like see your end of girls and she's like, no, like I'm into guys and I was a guy and I was like, you can't tell and then she like told me the whole yeah. And she was a guy and that was your poker face, the one that you just did right now. I was like, you can't tell and then she told me the whole yeah. And she was a guy and that was your poker face, the one that you just did right now. I was like, okay cool. I was trying to like, yeah I was really. I carry around a printout of my own face. So when I get news like that, I just take it out of my pocket and hold it up and then go, oh what the fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Oh something. Yeah. Yeah, I was just trying to like keep it so she didn't you oh, what the fuck? I'm like, oh, something.

Yeah, I was just trying to keep it so she didn't, you know, get a friend. I was just like, oh, that's cool. I didn't know about it. Just let it out. You're a, you used to be a guy? What? Totally.

I mean, you can't tell. Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Just point it, yeah. I mean, even though this story, if she sees it, she's gonna know that I'm talking. I had no idea. What? What do you think?

You were in Miami doing sports illustrated again. This is her Instagram. Oh man, this is convincing. Yeah, there is gonna be a lot of guys that fall for this one. Wow. Here Sean, I don't know if you would have, I don't know if you would have known right away. What am I saying? Of course not. I didn't know. I'm a girl. I had no idea. No.

She's showing me. Even like the way she sounds and everything. She sounds like a girl. She's Hispanic. Really? And so she sounded, you know, some of the Hispanic girls have like a little bit like talk like men, a little bit like deeper voices. They're like, breath., I don't know, but- So it wasn't like anything like, I've met a lot of people later and like, I had- I would not think guy. And you saw her vagina. Yeah.

And it looked- Perfect. Oh wow. And I heard they have like problems with their vagina. I don't know, guys keep trying to go home with her, like they're out the way out of Miami. And like, they're these guys are like super inner and they're like bringing your stuff. Bringing your stuff-entered, they're like, bring your stuff.

Bring your stuff like dead animals that are down in the road. They're like bringing your can to the house. Yeah, the joints and stuff. And then we're like, whoa, like, but she was like, and it was weird because I don't think he knew and I could like hear them like making out.

I was like, but, she said, I am not my business to tell. Like, if I was in telly, but he's not your business to tell. What kind of fucked morality is this? I don't know, but, I Was so mad he's like you introduced me didn't tell me and I was like I don't I wish I hadn't you introduced your guy friend No, I didn't know I was hitting on her I was like if you would hit on our would have told you but he wasn't what do you think he's gonna do eventually? But okay, but to be fair, she's coming. This is I hope you're not programming the automatic driving vehicles. Like, oh, should I, the computer?

Should I tell them? Nah, fuck them. I'll find out somehow. Yeah, I felt that she was like, I don't, I don't sleep with anybody until they know. She's really sweet about it. She has like a video, her transition video on her Instagram, so like she's not like hiding it,

but I have to see this. Some people don't look at it. Where does she live? L.A. When she come in here, okay. Really? That would be, like that, like how could you,

other than that way? Oh my God. Like her body is so, Wait, what are you looking at, Sean? Describe it. Her body is insanely hot. Yeah, no, it's, like I've like,

like she's built like, like a a woman like what hips and legs and Should you hit on her if you saw her dude? She's yeah, this is a hot picture gay honey, right? No, no, no, I mean Just like look at her body wise like what Right in photo Maybe but I saw in real life and she has like I'm pretty good at that. You gotta look at the background and there's straight stuff. Yeah, it's a swirling and yeah.

Well, no, so just the skin tones are, you know, there's like perfectly smooth and stuff. Oh my God. But I mean, honey, look at that. That's, yeah, I know. I gotta go think about my life. Yeah, there might be a whole section that you have a closed door to that,

like you might need to open. Right. Wow. Okay. She met a couple guys and then eventually, like, they were trying to come over and they, she told them and they were like, yeah, I kind of figured after, I didn't know last night,

but I figured this morning and just because she was kind of, but she's so sweet. Like, she's like, I get it. Some people might kill me because they don't get it. Well, that's, oh yeah. Yeah. She's like, I made peace with it, and I'm honest with people, but if something happens, it's my time to go.

Okay, and I was like, well, at least you... I think that's overblown though. I looked into it. There was a trans woman that came onto the show, and she was complaining about the trans panic shit. But I think it's... I looked into it. I don't remember what I remember.

It didn't seem like it happened. I feel like a lot of wants or twice. I remember my mom's way that when she first moved here with my dad to LA and they were like in their early 20s, they were at some weird motel waiting and they saw a body fly over the ceiling, like the top of the thing like from the top. Like a vampire. No, like someone threw a body. I'm from transsexualvania. And they didn't know. Wait a minute.

They were at a hotel and they threw a... They were at a hotel, like East LA. And they saw like how they heard it screaming out the window. They saw like a body drop. And when they came out, they realized what had happened was I guess a guy upstairs had gotten a hooker and turned out she was a dude and he threw her over the fuck. With like a penis and shit? Whoops. I don't know. I like a penis and shit? Whoops.

I don't know. I mean, I was not born yet, but she was like, that was like, your dad's first introduction to LA and he was like, I don't know. Welcome to LA. That's pretty angry. Yeah, yeah. I call the hooker, oh, you're a guy.

Oh, get out of here. What? Ah! She brought you. I mean, maybe they were getting down and do, I don't know these, but I was like, wow, this is true. Oh, yeah, he was right in the middle of blowing his load and she was like, oh, by the way, I'm a guy.

I bet I mean, it wasn't like a, it was a motel, so it wasn't like super like it survived and died. I mean, she survived and died. She didn't die. She didn't, she didn't die. Okay. Yeah. That'd be really satisfying to throw somebody out of window.

Don't you think? Yeah. Yeah. Fuck you be really satisfying to throw somebody out of a window. Tell me you think. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck you. Just get out of here. Like when you're eating, throwing an apple out of your car. Yeah. Exactly.

See if you can hit the mailbox. Fuck the nice apple. Make it a game. Um, what a beautiful woman. You're right. Yeah. Was she at the W last night part? No, but she actually where I met her like a month or two ago at a party at the W

Hmm classic W Yeah, okay. Yep. There's tons of black girls at my school Oh, right. I'm trying to get at is how do I talk to a person that's not a stuck-up Christian bitch Wait, is he's not in he's out of Christian school? I? Out of Christians. I don't know how old he is. Okay. Also, everyone thinks that I'm an albino, even though I don't have a black person

in my family tree for four generations. Well, there's white black guy. There's albino black guy. So he's black. No, they think he's an... I think he's saying that they think he's an albino black person. Oh. Because he has like hair, curly hairs.

Okay. Well, that would be easier, right? I mean, can I use that to my advantage? Yes, say you're an albino black person. There you go. See how that goes over? Yeah. Maybe you'll be thrown off a balcony.

Right, right. Yeah. How do we have any advice for how to... For somebody from after I'll come over and hack your arm off with a machete to make medicine. Yeah. You know that shit fuck, it's crazy man. So albinos from, you know, I can't remember

which country really has the problem with it. Oh, they're hunted down. Yeah, dude, they literally like guys will bust into your house and fucking like hack a kid's arm off. Cause it's like a magic albino. It's horrible. It's like a hot or name it. Like the holocaust over there.

It's horrible. Yeah. Hiding under the floor of the world. No, it's very dangerous in some parts to be an albino in Africa. Huh. Oh, that's too bad. Oh, I got some stuff from Chris the Kiwi.

Do you want to see that? There's this guy who calls him. Oh, yeah. He's a guy from New Zealand or a guy from Australia. He's a special character. Yeah, he's in your country now. You have to deal with him. Oh, great. He's a special man.

He's a special man. But I think for what's his name, I think like a lot of black girls like white guys. Don't. Uh, so I don't think girls like guys period. Yeah. I don't think any girls have ever liked a guy. They're down for white guys. So you say to play the whiteness?

Yeah. Like if he goes in like with a collard shirt and pink shorts, listening to like human-new-ish and the new color. Yeah, one of the black sororities or something, go in there and then if it doesn't work, you know, go to a different one and just be an albino. Yeah. And then go in the next time with like a-

In my face, not just kidding. Yeah, because of like a black Panther shirt. I'm, yeah, I'm just an albino black guy. Yeah. That's my thing. This is from Angela. Okay. Anderson.

Hey, Jack, I thought I'd share some of the adventures I had with Chris the Kiwi this weekend. What started as a simple chat, quickly erupted into his pleasant self, calling me names and insulting me. After not responding, oh, I don't want to put those pictures up. After not responding, he decided to send me a song

over Facebook in which he apologizes at the end. I guess me not responding really offended him because within the hour he was threatening to put me in a body bag and murder my children. I didn't respond to the other threats. If a guy named Chris McCarthy messages you, don't respond to it. That's my advice. Then he'll create an endless series of threats based on you're not responding to it. I didn't respond to those threats either.

So he decided to take a different route and post pictures of dead babies in my timeline anyway. It's been maybe I shouldn't have read the sheet. Jesus. Let's see here. I'm not gonna post the dead people pictures, but his messages are usually pretty funny. Yeah.

He's out of his gourd. Here we go. You use your best judgment. Fuck you, you whore. I hope you die. You'll pay in the end and the way you treat disabled people. You're an F-horon. Ass hat, the only way you treat me like that because you wouldn't dare treat me like

that face-to-face block me, bitch, giving me the wrong impression. I'd like to dig a hole for... Well, the wrong impression that he completely fabricated in his own mind. I'm sure. I don't like when people say block me. Like, I can't control myself. You're gonna need to block me like what? Well, yeah.

All right, is, let's just, let's do voicemail. I don't see Domey Paisos in here. Oh no. I didn't realize how long we've been going. Yeah, we've been going for a long time. Let's do some voicemail. Don't get it right. Is he here? Who? Ping him if he's here. Yeah, we've been going for a long time. Let's do some voicemail and we're getting ready. Is he here? Ping him if he's here.

Oh, don't make patients. Please, please get on. I love Don May pesos. Me too. His things are fine. All right, everybody, you've been listening to the Dixho. Thank you, Ari. Thank you, Ari.

Thank you. Patreon.com slash thedixho.com. James Morgan also, thank you for stopping by and joy. Yeah, the hero of Australia. Hero of Australia. Stick around, we got just a couple of voice mail. Okay, and then we're done. Oh, I thought you were like, no, no, no.

This is just the end of the show, the pretend end of the show. This is deflate my nuts when September ends by Visi G. You guys next Tuesday. Oh God, is that Green Day? Yeah. Oh God, is that green day? Yeah. What did we say about intro, Sean?

Always being true to the song. And at last take my nuts and put saline in them Like my father's underwear I make mistakes for fall I swear Take my nuts and put sailing in them Here comes the needle in, Amen for my balls Scrawn, stopped and fainting friends Stop and thank me friends, become in really large. Has my boss at reset? I'll never forget what I lost in plate my nuts until September ends. The needle's going in.

Oh, it will breathe. Oh, God. Okay. That was from last night. Did you think he was gonna do it? Yeah. Yeah. You did?

I thought you all were gonna. Yeah. He didn't do it. He pissed down. I never intended to do it. I'm not even, not even a little bit. So you were just, I was never gonna do it. I have video of him saying that he's last time. Yeah, I'm pretty sure you said you were gonna do it. Oh no, I totally did. a little bit. So you were just... I was never gonna do it. I have video of him saying that he's last time reading.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure you said he were gonna do it. Oh no, I totally did. I just answered it was like... Oh yeah! Like that's... I think your people would read that. Like... Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, right. Oh yeah, that's a good idea. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. A little end, aiming for my pause Sponged up and zany friends Becoming really large

Has my boss at reset I'll never forget what I lost It played my nuts when September ends Okay boys, this is in the Dic show. Hey, you turned that down slash. Dic show. See you next Tuesday. I'm going to let these babies fill up. Then the artists are going to get to work. We're going to listen to some voicemails.

Oh god, I don't sound good. My test is these. Oh, I'm going to get to work. I'm going to get to work. I'm going to get to work. I'm going to get to work. I'm gonna let these babies fill up then the artists are gonna get to work We're gonna listen some voice mails. Oh God. I don't sound good Oh, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right. Vizzy G Vizzy G. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you Here is Sean Saying that he was going to do it. Ari Yeah, I never intended to do it. That was me. What you think about this. Right, Sean, are you in?

Oh, for sure. I knew it. I'm fucking new. I told you. Don't you think that he's in the middle? Yeah, for sure. Oh, yeah, for sure. That wasn't.

I hope. It's natural. I know the peer pressure started to get up. Oh, yeah, for sure. Like that's. I don't know, Sean. Are you in? You let a lot of people on.

I think you betrayed a lot. I guess I did. I guess I did. I did. I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did saying, yeah, I'll jump off with you and then you don't make a bad deal. Yeah, no, I'm dead. Yeah, and he's dead. And then Sean fucks my girlfriend. That should have died with him. Mm. Okay.

It's fucked. Here we go. Oh, this looks like a good voicemail. Yeah. You don't make me rage Italians. Yeah. Specifically Italian Americans. Uh-huh.

Because you know what? Fucking monster rail. Oh, Oh, What's that? Fuck up. Yeah. Stop a Google. Yeah, well, they're shooting the

pranos. Fuck you. Just order your super fucking sandwich. Yeah, we could be about your fucking Italian shit Yeah, right we need to be more racist to it's pronouncing it's the Hispanic person pronouncing their name crazy on the you know with a perfect American accent Now that's a good thing. Oh, I'm not bad an accent. And then the thing that goes there, I don't know that. Matsule. Oh yeah.

Okay. We're cool. We're cool. Yeah, it's like, I've got a goal. Yeah. I don't even know what a gobbagool is. It's like a guy is like a, I think it's a solar something. I think it's a miss.

Pranasi. Matsule. Yeah. There's a, people started after the sopranos people started calling calling sauce gravy Sunday gravy like very few people call it that and it's like they're in New Jersey I love the venom in his voice and it's a monster Oh Fuck up you

It's weird more races like wait We were making 80s my girlfriend was making guacamole. Mm-hmm. I just like, what are you doing? She's like, oh, I'm making guacamole and I put my, oh, because without the G, or the, yeah. Come over here, need you. What did you just, what did you call it?

You know, guacamole, like, no, I'm afraid not. Right off the balcony, not in this house. Not. That is not in this house. That is not what it is. You know, it's a Friday. This is Seattle Larry. Hey Seattle Larry, I'm out of here. I went out.

Sell Steve Eels. A brother. He's a good friend. He's a good friend. You know, we're going to go out, where do you get some drinks? Roll the fuck? We're going to light ourselves, say we're not old. And you know what? Don't do that. You know what my girlfriend's gonna go out. Uh-huh. She's gonna

That sounds like a fun night her whole punched ID card You're gonna bring that and she's gonna think hey, I know this a to Washington I'm just all punched my ID card. Yeah Nope, I think that's gonna be just fine. I'll bring that out. We'll have some drinks. We got a plan. What did go wrong? Only mean people. Only mean people wouldn't use the hold on to ID card. But that's what she did. She brought it out. So she can never have any drinks. all. God damn not long. Well, I hope it didn't stop you. Yeah.

Right. I'm so excited to put it on the bar. Yeah, how many times have you been out with a girl who forgot her ID? I don't know why they do that. I think I'm just gonna take, I'm gonna start, just, I'm just gonna take it. We'll get a redo.

We'll get a reprint. Just take that out, just for safety. You guys love leaving your IDs behind. No, I don't even have a valid life. You don't have an ID? Oh, I got a stolen, so I have my old one that's expired, but they don't really.

They don't do that. I'll say, I'll say, I don't have any issues in LA and I didn't have any issues in my area. I've been turned away from having expired license getting into a bar. It's like, what are my fucking age change? You asshole.

It's like it's me. So you don't have, you only have an expired ID. Mm-hmm. And no problem, no problem, right? It's a mess. Yeah, I don't want to have to, this is like, I just heard it's really a nightmare to go the deep.

It is. So I would make my second three times to get it. And then they were like, no, you have to actually have a California one and I was like, it's so fucked up. You can't they were like, no, you have to actually have a California one. And I was like, it's so fucked up. You can't just get it like a, you can't fill out a form and get it sent.

You know, because I'm not, because they know that I live in California. And so I registered as living in California. And so legally though, like we can't just send, you have to have a California one. You can go to, you can get a, can you get like a state ID? I mean, the same thing is going to the DMV

is like you still DMV is like, you still have to, apparently, like people have told me they've waited in line all day and still never got seen. Like out the, you can make an appointment and it cuts it down to a half a day. Yeah. What about triple, but it's true. You haven't, you haven't tried to do it, right?

This is for people. I have, yeah. I just want to get to this full set. But I looked into making appointment, it's like not available to December. Oh, yeah, depending on, well, or you have to go to one that's like, you know, an hour across town. Yeah, all of the ones in like the air I think even Newport is like not until December. Yeah, that's ridiculous. Let ride never get one. Yeah, that's

I'm inspired. One forever. All right, couple more. Oh I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have done it, but I but I listened to the Joe Rogan experience with Neil deGrasse Tyson. And he said on the Joe Rogan experience that if you take an ice cube and you leave it out until it warms up to 30 degrees and then you squeeze it with your hands. The act of squeezing the ice cube is going to cause it to melt. You can do this at home. Your hands are 98 degrees. You dumb fuck.

Oh, squeezing it melted. What about the fucking hundred degree heat from human hands? You fucking idiot. He's real hard to listen to the grass the grass Tyson in addition to what did he say recently that everybody jumped all over he downplayed like some cut he downplayed like a shooting or something like that he's like you know every day change I don't I don't it was that right yeah, what did he say exactly I got to find So we went to the LA fair yesterday. And there was the science exhibit. I was a little bit excited about that. Because I like science. Yeah. Um, we walk in and there is a, I shit, you know, there's a five foot tall face picture of Neil, the grass, Tyson, and Steve Jobs. And I said, I'm out. Yeah. This is not,

there's nothing. It's got science about either of these assholes. Uh, let me find his quote. It was one word that today, this many people died from this from this. Oh, yeah. So he's minimizing, OK, yeah, those can go very wrong very quickly in today's society. Isn't it amazing how we fixate on it?

Yeah, right. Yeah, often on average across any 48 hours, we lose 500 people to medical errors and three hundred to the flu two fifty to suicide two hundred to car accidents and forty to homicide via handgun often our emotions respond more to spectacle and to data that's what he said after a mass shooting yeah first of all we care about all of those things.

Everybody involved cares about 250 suicides a day. You take 200 to car accidents, but we've all been trying really hard to stop all the car. I don't know if you notice, but there's a lot of work that's been put into your car to stop everybody from dying. Right. You stupid mustache jackass. Uh, loosen up your bow tie. All right. One more.

Yeah. It's cutting off the oxygen. I can't stand that idiot. Wait. Wait. Does he work? No, Bill. Now where's bow ties? They're the same guy. Oh, yeah. You don't see color. Do you? No, I don't. Yeah. Good. Bill. I, did you know that? Bill and I paint his face black and gets into a fat suit. And he's dealed with the other types. And he never have seen him in the same place. Yeah, he's like Hannah Montana. Hannah Montana and Al Roker. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly like that. All right, one more. Always thought. You know, makes me rage What what tropical storms? Yeah fucking with my deliveries These largest the tropical storms. It's these lazy mother fuckers that have these tropical storms Excuse and not do their goddamn job. Yeah, let's get out there party about 50 magic cards

Yeah, let's get out there, buddy. About 50 magic cards. Because, you know what? I thought magic is. I thought I thought, so I'll remember when 10th is came out. Good to know. Wait, wait, wait, do you know what magic is? Magic the Gathering?

Good for you. Good for you. It's, you know, Pokemon is. Okay, it's like Pokemon for grown up men to do. Met, grown up men still do Pokemon now. Growing up, do they? Yeah. Wow.

This is for the big boys. Some slivers. Oh, make me a motherfucking sliver deck. With not only made the traditional, but the new fucking sliver. That's a good deck. So I order a fuck out of that. Sean, the slivers, their monsters in the deck,

they all give all the other slivers powers. So if you have all, if you get all your slivers out there, one guy would be like a sliver with trample. One guy has life link. Oh man, you'll start slapping them down. The other person doesn't, your whole army of slivers is just getting bigger. You'll throw out a queen sliver.

That bitch will generate new slivers every round that are like four or four creatures with flying in trample that are totally unstoppable. I just heard beautiful fucking deck. And that's the hottest deck. That's the hottest deck you could tell me about is a sliver deck, hot hot new sliver deck. That's what he's waiting for from Amazon.

He's waiting to crack into a hot sliver deck. Mm, just trying to say, no greater pleasure in magic than your own sliver deck that you built out of nothing. Mm, mm, mm. And then... I'm impatient. I say, can you have my packages as soon as I want to know? I should have spoken by my... Well, don't put them in one pack. Put them in me! I get 18 different orders. I have to which? Well, I've been sleeping by the mailbox pretty much. Not showing up.

What the fuck? So I go in the Amazon. Amazon where my goddamn cards contact the cell phone there's a tropical storm so come on come on there's a tropical storm here put that shit for that fucking envelope and you'll pay for your plane take the card to it and let me show you a little bit over here because it's just a little windy I'm sure it's gonna work a lot better in the United States post-op, it's taking a sweet fucking time. Do you want some damn magic cards to me? I'm sorry, I'm not going to do that. What? You're right. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. You're my fucking magic cards. I don't care if there's a tropical storm or a hurricane, whatever. You knew it was

coming. It's been on the news all week. You just had plenty of time to put my magic, to put aside a couple of packages. What is it raining in the warehouse? It's so wet outside that you can't put some magic cards in an envelope and send them out the door. Everybody should wanna be driving away from the hurricane anyway. Move your ass.

It's a second, there's any kind of rain. It's all over every website. Oh, it's a lake. Oh, it's a lake, it's a hurricane. Oh, it's a lake, it's a hurricane. What is it, It's a second there's any kind of rain. It's all over every website. Oh, orders are delayed. Oh, orders are delayed because there's a hurricane. Oh, orders are delayed because there's a hurricane. Right. Orders are delayed because there's a hurricane. Why?

Why? What's not even a hurricane? It's less. Less than a hurricane. It's a tropical sorzer delayed because of weather. It's the fucking weather all the time. Yeah. Get, buy an umbrella.

Ship yourself an umbrella. It's already there. Walk down the aisle. Send a robot down an aisle and pick it up and get me my fucking sliver deck. Now, because I need it. I need a sliver deck. I can't even talk about, okay, one more.

You just explained that whole thing to me and I all I heard was blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Slippers in every color all five colors have their own unique slivers. Well how inclusive? There's only five colors. Yeah, so very exclusive exclusive actually. Well, it's more than we got on earth. They're genderless too Hey, Decaixon. Hey, you know, it really makes me a rage what so recently at work We've been having a weight off competition. I finally got that as like the motivation to stop being a fat buck competition. Competition is good. 30 pounds and six weeks. Wow.

Good. One of my coworkers was asking me how I did it. I was like, oh, CBD. You know, just stop eating and flush and going to the gym more. She's like, oh, it's so easy. Guys have it so easy to lose weight, especially since you're saying the balcony like, bitch, I've felt what I eat and have. And I'm spending like 10 hours a week working out now. How do you think it's that fucking easy? You just never go to the gym. Your exercise is a walk around the block and you still eat like your fucking hippo.

walk around the block and you still eat like your fucking hippo. Just wanting to hippos. Stop being a fat bitch. Why did you say it's easy whenever I'm fussing my ass? Just excuse to not do it. Yeah, just man, when people do shit like that just makes me such a rage, go fuck yourself. Why did you ask? Did you ask just to tell me go talk to yourself. Why did you ask? Did you ask just to tell me how easy it was? What did you want?

Oh, how did you lose all that weight? Eating a lot less and working out, that's so easy for you. That's all you gotta do. Fuck you. Sure didn't knew what she thought before he said anything. Right, right, right. Do people give you shit, eat a sandwich,

that kind of shit online? No, but I do notice that guys can drop weight fat like usually actually apply themselves like. Sorry, you're going right over the balcony. I just know it. Okay, maybe it's not the real thing is that men have more willpower sometimes than women. Yes. So we're like, wow, it's so easy for you because you can actually do what it takes for us. What you said you would do. Whereas. We're like, yeah, we's so easy for you because you can actually do what it takes for us. What you said you would do.

Whereas we're like, yeah, we're on a diet. We're baking. Never mind. Listen to testosterone factor. Increases your willpower. Increases your gains and losses in the gym. I mean, that's the science I've heard on it. Yeah, but it's the not eating that we all struggle to do.

Absolutely. That's the not eating that we all struggle to do. Absolutely. That's the difficult part. Yes. I'll put a nice set of arms on top of a keg, a midsection that looks like a bean bag. That's not an issue. I don't have a problem with that. It's the not eating.

A truffle cake sounds good right now. We're gonna get a funnel cake in 10 minutes. Do you have less willpower for food as you get older? I don't know because it's, now it has consequences. Eating has a lot more consequences now, so it's hard to say. How about you? No, I mean, I used to eat everything

and it was a problem and so now it's easier, I think, because I'm really busy. I think I would eat from boredom and stuff. But I'm a bored, yeah, I do, I get that. My mom used to say, you're just eating because you're bored and I'm like, no, I'm not, I'm hungry. Shut up bitch. But it's like, yeah, well that's, yeah.

That was our relationship. But yeah, I realize that I will eat if I'm bored. Yeah, oh, I should open a present, right? I should open some of these. Well, no, I'll open it. Also, guys will do a lot of things to get laid. Like, they'll have that will power, you know what I mean? Like, girls, like, whenever.

When a guy breaks up, like, when he's like, okay, like if I lose weight or whatever, like, I'm gonna get bitches, that's their motivation and they'll do it. It's true, it's totally true. Yeah, that's true. We have to do that. We have to work a lot more.

We get what we want, I guess. Instagram. Say that one more time. Where can people ask you for pictures of your feet? All right. Instagram. Would you send them? And.

Guys will do, no. I mean, it depends. Depends, like, how much you, how? How? Does it depend on his dick size? Oh, no. If he sends you. I'd like to not see his penis.

If you just like the message, I mean, like, hey, I'm a really nice person. Doesn't matter anyways. Can you send me your fee? Here's this much money. Consumption. How much money? Well, that's the money.

Yeah, it depends. You don't want to sell it. You don't want to undersell it, right? If I give it a quote, that's the thing. Some people are really desperate. You can just push and push and they're like, okay, cool, but some people are like, you know, hey, I mean,

John's sending you turns ruthless business woman. Really? You just gonna see what you're doing. Yeah, the overhead is, but where's my wallet? As long as there's nothing, like, I love that there is an overhead comment in this, in this potential transaction. As long as you're on the transaction, it's just that my body and a sexual manner, and I don't have to see anything of them.

Yeah. Well, and then it caused more. I mean, it was my picture feet. My feet, no, okay. Yeah, I just want those picture feet. That's what I'm all about. I'm not like a feat anyways, but I don't actually. You have what looking feet? I think if we're looking feet.

You have weird looking feet? Let me see, can I see them? Sure. How much money do you got? Why do you think they're weird? Because the, like the, the toes are all fucking ganky. These two are, like, very long toes. I fucking ganky. These two are very long toes. I know, I know.

It looks like a Greek. Like isn't there like a feet? Yeah, just people who there's like a certain percentage population have longer second toes are you? It's a royalty. Those look like the twin towers on your feet. I want to fly my plane, right? It's a tower.

It's a twin toe. Wow. But yeah, no. Do you pick up stuff with your toes, with those babies? Yeah, I got to ground like you're picking up your clothes and stuff. You can like grab them, but. Yeah. I will generally. I can't. People with it.

Can you play a guitar with those bad boys? No, I don't know. That's where I draw the line. I'm not a side show. Okay, goodbye everyone. See ya. I'm glad we got that info. Sure.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm not a side show. I'm not a side show. Okay, goodbye everyone. See ya. I'm glad we got that info. Sure. Okay, goodbye everyone. I'm glad we got that info. Sure. Wait, wait, you never said what you're in some more of this.

Oh yeah, we hijacked it. Yeah. Okay, so we can see your feed at Instagram. Ariane, ARIN, underscore underscore J-O-L-I-E. Two underscores. Double underscore. That's how fancy. Right, all the hose use one underscore.

34 double underscore. Wow, right? Yeah. Wow, wow, wow. Wow, two underscores. I'm gonna start playing the underscore game. See how many underscores. That's my new email.

Dick, 40 underscores. Master's in new email. Dick, 40 underscores. Masterson and Gmail. OK, everybody, goodbye.