The Dick Show - Episode 175 - Dick on Inappropriate Laughter

Episode Date: October 8, 2019

I get the side-eye for laughing at the wrong parts of Joker, committing to the bit, the Alphabet Wars heat up over trans-women and their penises, eyeball wiggles, letting 17-year-olds vote, The Cotton Ceiling, impeachment, leaving the door unlocked, the in-group preferences of white liberals, cereal bandits, and fellow Dr. Phil alum, Goose Wayne calls in; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I was Roofied. You were Roofied. Yeah. Someone Roofied me. Uh-huh. You? No. You didn't Roofied yourself.

My sister Roofied me last. Somebody must have the waiter was giving me a weird look. All my... Beggs a lot of questions. It was probably... It was either my sister or the waiter or the bartender. They were both giving me weird homosexual looks. Yeah.

I was drinking responsibly. Uh, we're not. Why? Um, I went to see the Joker movie. Oh, yeah. Let me start. Yes. Yes.

Let me start. I don't want a 10 minute cold open. All right. Yeah, you don't have the, uh, I don't have the energy. Don't have the spray in cells. No. Yeah. This is going to be a photo finish.

Me raising death. spray and sells it. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Welcome to Dick! You want Dicky New Dicky? Look at you! Look at you! Got it! It's the show!

Everything's a contest coming to you live from Mount Bucket even the hardest city of failure. I mean, host! Dick Maschers, an A.K.A. The $20 million man. Recently voted America's worst Mexican 24! Weeks running with me is always his world touring LA based comedian, Sean, the audio engineer. Hello, Dave. Hey, what's up, buddy?

Feels good to be just you and me again. Yeah, right? Yeah, I like the, I like people who sit in though too. Yeah, they're nice, but we've got to get rid of them at some point. Okay, it's just nice to be back to me and you where I can share my honest opinions. I don't have to put on a front.

Is that what you do? I don't have to pretend to be Mr. Nice Guy. Oh. I don't have to pretend to be Mr. Nice guy. Oh, I don't think he pretends to be Mr. Nice guy. All these people around, all these, a stereo's pretenders around just you and me. Just a couple of chats, chatting it up. Sean Spaghettios. No Spaghettios. No Spaghettios or whatever the other guy is.

Yeah, I don't know. What do you call him? Vito, what was he? Yeah. Vito's an Italian name. Yeah, I don't know. What would we call him? Vito, what was he? Yeah. Vito's an Italian name. He's boyisterians. Just you and me, a couple of chads. Yeah.

Chatting it up. Getting into chat. Chatting of things, Sean. I feel like a chat. Shitting on stasis. Stasis? Just a couple of muscular hunks. Is that what stasis?

Stasis are like what? Stasis. Like soccer moms or something? Like what's a Stacey? Is that a real thing? A Stacey is a hoe, Sean. A Stacey's a hoe. Yeah.

You got your Stacey's. Stacey's are the ones that don't get, I say these are the ones that make in cells. And then you got carons. They're the ones that always need to talk to the manager. Oh. These are the new, these are people that you meet. What about Claire?

There's no, Claire's untaken. Claire's a fat girl's name. Oh, well. That's a real Chad. And that's from, you have said. That's from breakfast club. Oh, is it? Yeah, it's one of the,

which is a pretty shitty movie, by the way, just for people who remember it fondly. Breakfast club. Yeah. It doesn't hold up. No, it's this, John, like John Hughes did a lot of good movies, but Breakfast Club is like, that's one of those things where you talk about me. It's like, fast times at Ridgemont High.

Because see that now. See how that holds up. Never seen that. It's not very good. Oh, man. Too many people have to, every time somebody tells me a movie is good. Because people older than us, who think like Breakfast Club is a generation older than us. Yeah.

And so is fast times. And people who are like 50, 55, they really always talk about that. You know, about that. Oh, you got to see it. I'm going to shit on animal house while I'm here. Oh, wow. Doesn't what do you got to say about real house? It's no.

It's good. John Voluci is great. What about popping the zit? That's so funny. Yeah, it's, it's just, I don't know, is a different time. It's seat, but Caddy Shack holds up completely. It does. And that really wasn't that much later.

It does. Like a few years later. Um, every time somebody tells me to see fast times a rich man high, I, every time somebody tells me I have to see something. Don't bother. I have to delay it until I forget that they've told me to go see it. I know, that's how it always ends my experience. It's how you work.

I know. That's how I work. I know. So if you're saying not to see it, then I'll see it immediately. No, I'm going to. Thank you. I appreciate that. Sure.

I'll tell you what, it was a good movie. Joker. I was going to think, I was going to say, get, let me guess, you hated it. I loved it. Did you? I fucking loved it. Only 80's girl and I loved it. Did you, I fucking loved it. Only 80s girl and I loved it.

Everybody else thought it was boring and shitty. The people who I talked to who have seen it said people were clapping afterwards in their showings. They were clapping because of someone who probably stopped a mass shooter. I stopped five mass shooters just in our theater alone.

On the way in, I disarmed him, took his bullets out. I don't want to embarrass him, I don't want to confront him. I just took his bullets out of his pockets and he got in there. He started doing it and I said, don't worry everybody. I took his bullets out. He's impudent. He's impudent. Yeah.

It was great because I think the media tricked everybody into seeing a film out of spite. Huh. Like it was not, there was no big battle, no big climax or anything like that. It was just a great film. I don't even care about those movies most of the time. That's part. I think, well, the thing that I just want to see him because he's so weird. The walk. Yeah. I mean, I think it's, the thing that I just want to see him because he's so weird. The walk.

Yeah, I mean, I think it's perfect casting. Yeah, it was great. Okay. It was great. It was worthy of an applause. I really think that everybody tricked, that the media tricked people into seeing a film. That was great.

And I'll tell you what's something that makes me rage about it though. I was watching it and laughing and like emoting at parts that were appropriate when he's doing murders. And I'm the only one in the theater laughing. And people are giving me this look like what I'm doing is inappropriate. Like I'm spoiler, spoiler alert. It killshmm. Like I'm spoiler alert. Spoiler alert.

It kills people. Yeah, when he kills someone who's, when he kills, yeah. Spoiler alert. I'm like, he's fucking crazy. I'm laughing, shit. Yeah. Fuck you, bitch.

Well, you know, you don't want to be the cause of other people thinking that's, that's okay. That's good. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I mean, that's how everybody, oh, I mean, that's, did he use a gun? No. He's good. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I mean, that's how everybody, oh, I mean, did he use a gun? No, he's mother to her.

Oh, well, but it's a hand. A figurative gun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he used a pillow gun. Right. But these people are, I'm like, oh, that's called a silencer dick. It's a silencer. These people lean over and look at me like I'm about to start

doing a mass shooting. I'm like, are you guys fucking stupid? Are you guys, what is, what is wrong with you potatoes in this movie that you're like, you realize you're watching a guy who's paid millions of dollars pretending to do this shit. You morons. This is so, I'm the one doing this correctly, not you. I think we're back to the Tipper Gore rock music, you know, causing all kinds of the moral decline of American society. And why? Well, because it's not because of those reactions. Oh my God, like that's so appropriate. How could he react like that? Because they equate acting to, you know, what you're gonna do in real life.

And it's, yeah. You guys, I mean, you realize you're not watching, like making a murderer with Stephen Aver, this shit didn't actually happen that watching. It's a fucking movie. You're supposed, on a character who's, he's crazy. He's crazy. He's always been crazy.

And he's eking out small wins. Yeah. You're supposed to identify with him. That's the whole fucking point of the movie. You idiots. Yeah, I wanna see it. And then I feel like I'm laughing out of spite for the rest of the movie.

Well, you know, I'm fucking up the movie by, you're probably where. At that point, you're drunk, were you first? Like, you know, you're watching, it's not a cop, that's not a real cop. That's the guy from Boardwalk Empire. You fucking idiots. Yeah.

You can wipe that concerned look off your face. Because that guy goes to Earth Cafe and is a dick to waitresses. And you know what I mean? I think people, I don't know, he's probably a nice guy. I'm just saying, that's just a normal guy you're watching pretend to be an asshole working after.

Yeah. I think people have seen too many movies or take too many movies seriously in general because people, yeah, I mean with some of the wild leaps and everything, it's like, no, that's like a crazy twisted plot. Like that's not reasonable. Like that doesn't, that doesn't happen. Like a conspiracy like that. Yeah, what do you mean?

What do you mean? I mean, just in general, like it's like, oh, well then the cops went in and then they planted this blah, blah, and then they knocked this guy's wife off because like, oh yeah, yeah, no, it's like, that's a movie. It's a fucking movie. Like that's a movie, like it's great.

It's great. Everybody's stupid like everybody else in real life. It's looking over. Oh my God, I can't, why would you laugh at that? Because it's a fucking movie. Yeah. What do you mean why would I laugh? The whole point of movies, we're having a good entertainment.

It's a shit back. I wish a match-hander would come in here and wipe you out for giving me that fucking look. We're supposed to be having a good time here. That's what it's for there. It's entertainment. You can make films that, you can make films that have messages or make you think,

like that's fine, but don't tell somebody, don't, don't shame somebody for a living at an entertainment feature. Laugh at that moment where he murders. Yeah, it was fucking great. Yeah. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you.

I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you.

I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't like the way I was laughing. And the N word guy, there was a Joker N word guy.

There was. There was this dude who was doing a count down to sing the N word. Excuse me. Well, on Twitter, every day he said, he was the Joker and every day he said, he said he was gonna say it on the day the movie came out. He's gonna say the N word.

Right. So he's like nine days till I say it. Eight days till I say it. I get what he's doing. Seven days till I say it, it's hilarious. Yeah, right. What a hilarious bit, this is gonna be. So then, yeah, sure.

People are retweeting him and backing him up, you know, like a forest gump. He was the forest gump of our times, like run forest. You can do it running with us, that people start running with him. And then the day of the movie, of our times like Ron Forrest. You can do it running with Ross, that people start running with him. And then the day of the movie, he uploads this dog shit sketch.

Like if him dressed as the Joker, gearing up to say the N word, talking about how many black people have messages and like, yeah, of course, say it, but you have to say it, mean it. Right. And the sketch culminates in his saying of the N word, getting interrupted by a fake Batman who he calls black man to stop him from saying it.

Yeah, it was terrible. Yeah, no, that's not good. That's not good. Just terrible. That's not a good joke. The lack of commitment to bits is pathetic. The lack of the lack in general, of a man's commitment to a bit is disappointing,

is disappointing to me in my soul. Mm-hmm. And in this case, more than any other, he had to do one thing. One thing and everyone was, everyone of all races was behind him. Yeah. White people, black people, old people, children, especially old people, especially old people were behind him, especially old white people were behind him.

And he couldn't do the one thing. The one thing. And that's do the one thing. The one thing. And that's what the movie is. I, someone's committed to the bit. Fucking finally. I don't care what he's doing. He committed to it. Murdering people, whatever.

I don't care. He said what he was going to do and then he did it. For once, something that you can't rely on anybody else for. No. You followed through. Only in fantasy. Yeah. Can you see it?

I'm gonna kill these people. Oh yeah, right. I've heard that before. We're gonna impeach Trump. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Heard it before. Well, let's see it. Well, that's it, right.

At some point, I'll read about it if it actually happens. Yeah, at some point, I'm gonna say the N word on Twitter. Yeah, right. Been fooled by this one before. Yeah, we know, we know, we know, guess it's an ad for men's coming. A reptile dysfunction pill, something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Harry's slash Joker N word guy.com. One commitment. To a bit. That's all I want. That will take you as far as you need to go. All right. That's that was my experience with the Joker movie I couldn't believe it. Oh

How could you react like that to these fake events that would never happen? Oh How could that never happen in 1981 that we're watching is that what that's when it's set. Yeah, it's great Okay, what else do I have here? I found that, oh yeah, as I was saying, I was roofied. I've been roofied all week. Yeah. I went out with Carl Lewis. He roofied me. I'm pretty sure. That's a, that's an incredible run of bad luck. Well, it wasn't me. You got a, well, you should, you've probably just, you know, maybe that the bars you're going to a little, if they're, they've the, you know, people are just randomly roofing people.

I assume that it's, it's more than just you. They can't, when they can't find a woman that they want to roof, they just start roofing anybody. Yeah. That's how they work. They see me coming. Oh, just start roofing anybody. Yeah. That's how they work. They see me coming. Oh, here's an easy mark. Yeah.

They'll roofie him. They're practicing their roofie. They saw it in a movie. They don't want to do their roofies on the first girl that they fall in love with. They want to run it. They want to do a few test runs to make sure it works to see what they're working with. Right. Oh, that guy probably can put down a lot of booze.

All roofie. His ass. Right. Definitely wasn't me drinking too much. It was Carl Lewis the first night. And here's something interesting that I found out with Carl. Yeah. The woman who botched, the woman who did her part to botch the Australia tour was fired. I guess.

Oh, she's no longer working with the agent. Really? Does the thing that you? Does the she might have fucked something else up. Yeah. Yeah. So that's great. I wish I could report that she was fired out of a cannon, but it sounds like they just don't work with her anymore. Yeah. Well, you know, so that's some good news. Yeah. Yeah. What an idiot. Yeah. We ended up at a, What an idiot. Yeah. Yeah.

We ended up at a, we ended up at a strip club after I was roofied, a second strip club, which I, which was, it was the first time that I've actually been uncomfortable at a place. It was an after hours strip club where the women, the strippers were laying around like elephant seals, not doing anything, which is a bad sign, like laying around, just lounging around. Jesus. I did the 80s girls, 80s girls sick. So I did her the mitzvah of going out all night and staying out as long as I could so she could rest. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. I wanted it to feel like a hotel for her where she could just come in and not deal with my bullshit and complaining, talking about how excited I am that the Joker guy on Twitter is going to say the N word, like a fool. I just wanted her to be able to come in and relax like it was a hotel. So I said, I'm, I'm going gonna take one for the team and go out all night drinking, going to multiple strip clubs. And it's really, I mean, it's a selfless act.

Yes. This is the stuff I do. And I don't bother anybody by saying, you know, would you like me to do this? Yeah, I'm not even inconvenience you with that. No, you don't want them to feel uncomfortable or conflicted with, they have to like, well, well I'm going to pretend like, no, I want you around. I don't want you to do that. But I really, I really want you to go out so I can relax and rest and

maybe prepare for the next day. They feel guilty. Yeah, I told you to go away. So I got to tell the city it's a come home early. I like enjoy sleeping with them. That's all. I don't force anybody to do that bullshit. No. This place we went to was, it was a bunch of strippers laying around like elephant seals, as I said. Mm-hmm. And this guy, this black guy who was too skinny to be real.

Oh, so not the male elephant seal. No, he was walking around. Never, I've never seen this. I've never seen this, he was walking around. I've never seen this. I've never seen this in my entire life. I've never seen this at a strip club. Where was this after our strip club? I don't know. Oh, dude, you fucked up it.

I don't know the name. I don't know the name. Do you know where that was? That was about. About. I mean, about because Carl Lewis is an, is an affable guy. Yeah. He like talks to, he's one of these guys that like talks to other guys.

Yeah. Right? So we befriended. We befriended some essays outside of the first strip club. And they took us to their after hours spot. Properly disappeared. Crawl Lewis who did not have any form of ID on him. So everywhere, I got to do the old 20-book move, theoff, to get him in everywhere, which was fantastic. I love that. It was a place I've never heard of before that I couldn't navigate us back to with this guy walking around, slinging stacks of 50 ones at a time.

Just what the skinny black guys? Yeah, throwing them around like the end of boogie nights, just slinging massive stacks of one around. I'm thinking, what the fuck are you doing? Fuck, where have we gotten to? Yeah, this is bad. That was the first night I was roofied. I woke up at an Uber coming home.

I don't know what happened to Carl. I think he died. I think he was deported. Carl Lewis back to his home country of Bolivia, right? Yeah. Let's see. What else makes me rage this week? They're making, there's a movement to get 17 year olds to vote.

Yes. I found out about that. I found out everything, I found out, excuse me, I find out everything that's coming from 80s girls job because they gram it into the case. That's right, that's right. It starts there. It really is crazy how that's true. Yeah.

Like they train the teachers. Happens before college. Yeah. Right. Well, now it, yeah. Now there's a big push to, you know, to do that. I don't think it's, it's always been like pro union pro, you know, all that kind of stuff. And, but now the, the, the social aspects and, you know, there, I think they're really, they're getting kids right at the start. I'm not saying it's, I mean, at the heart they're, I think they're really, they're getting kids right at the start. And I'm not saying it's, I mean, at the heart of it, it's like, treat, treat people nice. But that's the insanity that we know is going on, pushed by, pushed by the most extreme people on the left.

Yeah. It's fucking dangerous. It's crazy. It's dangerous, man. The teachers are too stupid. Like, the teachers have a limit to their intelligence of what they understand. And it's just easier to teach nonsense. Like it's easier to teach opinion than it is to teach actual skills.

So of course, of course, they're going to just teach wild nonsense. And one of the ones that they're pushing through is lowering the voting age to 16, 17. And I looked like an asshole saying, that's, there's no fucking way that's true. They're just during the vote at 17 and lowering the voting age. I looked it up, sure enough. There's a move there is.

There is. And their best reason, they pay taxes, so why shouldn't they vote? And I go, yeah, it's taxes. So why shouldn't they vote? And I go, yeah. It's actually why fucking shouldn't they? It's why shouldn't anybody who has to pay taxes, not vote, you're fucking right. It's over the age to 14.

Well, it's a less extreme. You got one paycheck. Here you go. Here's my paycheck. Where's my fucking vote? If you can go get killed for your government, you should be able to vote. And that was obviously what got that through.

So now it's like, well, if I get to, you know, forcibly pay taxes, basically, then I should have a say in who has to be to pay taxes. It's the same thing in the world. I go, okay, we're gonna make you pay taxes. And then, oh, well, we get to vote, we should be taxed. Oh, well, I guess so. You guys are the, this is the dumbest

you're ever gonna be in your life. You can't do anything else. You can't, you can't drink. You can't even join the army yet. Well, I suppose they'll change that too, though. Can't smoke. If you can't smoke at all now. Your vapes are gone.

All right. Yeah, you can't drink. I don't know. God forbid you ain't caught with an ounce of honey oil in the wrong state. You're going to jail for the rest of your life, kid. Yeah, but we'll take that money. Sometimes I think kids in high school

are right about to vote are probably more well-informed than a lot of people who vote like, oh fuck yeah, you vote. They probably really are. They might actually, they got nothing to do with these issues. They're supposed to, yeah. They think, yeah, you know, as opposed to like,

well, I vote down the party line, because, or, you know, just on either side. I made the mistake of looking at the, who's into Trump getting impeached? Yeah, like who's, no one is actually believing this shit, right? Oh, that was an incorrect assumption that he's gonna get impeached. Or that there's like anything to it. There's anything to this, you just, whatever you crane conspiracy.

Well, didn't he? Russia nonsense. He admitted to it though, right? I mean, it, that is what admitted to asking like the transcript came out, right? And he said, yeah, look at, yeah, can you look at what Biden's doing? Yeah, I mean, that's not cool. What do you mean? I mean, do you want the head of a of a country asking the head of another country to investigate crimes? Yeah. No, that's what you know. You handle that internally.

Wait a minute. What do you mean? It happened in the Ukraine. Okay. So Biden goes over there, don't prosecute my son or we're not going to give you any money. That's bad stuff too. Oh, yeah. That's extortion.

Yeah. We need to handle that here. Why? Because he's a member of our government. Well, how do you handle it here? It all happened in another country. You do it in the end again. Wait a minute, you're saying he can't go over and go,

hey, can you please help? Can you figure out what happened here? Did he bribe this guy? What happened? No, he did it. He did it for the dirt. Yeah. Yeah, he did it. So he did it for the dirt. Yeah. Yeah, he did it for the dirt.

If you could help out with that, if you could, If you could find evidence that this guy committed a crime. And also check into, what do you, who else do you say to check into? Who anyone else who's committing crimes? Please let me know.

Okay. All right. Well, Is that okay? No, even if he's impeached, even if he's impeached, I hope he is impeached, he's not going to be removed. I hope he is removed. So then he can run again and serve two terms, two brand new terms. Because Constitution says you can only do two terms. So if they get rid of him before

his first term, then he can do two additional terms. Yeah, that'd be great. I don't think they'll have near the votes to remove him. No, I don't think so either. It is all this dirt finding shit, like the fact that our politicians are getting busted doing gay ops on each other. I thought this was normal. That they were totally allowed to do that. Like, if you got any dirt on this guy, let me know. Cause, you know,

well, I think that's, I think it's all on interest. I think it's all now in the open. I think it's just out in the open now. Yeah. So you think he, you think he did do something wrong? Uh, I don't know if it's impeachable.

I don't think, I don't think that's a good thing to do. You why? I'll tell Ukraine to look into your ass right now. Hey, go ahead. Sean's doing, I'll call, I'll call, I'll call Trunchburl, Bull and Australia. Hey, what did Sean do when he was over there? I don't know if he did anything illegal. Well, I might have, I think I j-walked a few times. Yeah. Yeah. I can't believe you think that's, there's something wrong with that. Yeah, yeah, I do.

What should he do? He should have, you know, the CIA, our intelligence, should find out if there's any, you know, mouthaches to go to Ukraine and say, well, what had happened here? That's okay. Go through the proper channels. What if they won't cooperate? Well, here's then can Trump go and you just want to give him something for something, you know, I mean, like, for finding out illegal shit,

yeah, I'm okay with that. Yeah, yeah, no, I've not, there's channels and there's, you know, you crazy if you were trying to find a country over there. And Trump said, hey, can you find out if you rape someone? You would be against that, so you'd be pro-rape. Yes, I would be probably, in that case, I would be pro-rape.

So what's the channel? C-I-A. Yeah, our intelligence, but they're terrible. Well, they're what we got. They're cops. You think Ukraine is on the level? You think Ukraine's not like one of the most corrupt countries there is? Oh, that's a terrible thing to say about the beautiful women of the Ukraine that they're

countries. Well, they're country easy to interrupt. Well, them aside, they only marry for green cards. What are you going to tell a cop like, hey, go see what's going on over there. What telecom? Yeah. Call the cops. That's what Trump's supposed to do.

No, that's no CIA. No, that's the guy. You talk with their CIA. You talk with what they, you talk with what they know. Yeah. I guess I don't see it. Yeah, I wouldn't mind if either side did it. I wouldn't mind if the Democrats are like,

hey, can you figure out, do you guys are doing a legal shit over there? Well, I'm sure that's all been done for a long time. And we know that we've installed puppet regimes and things like that. It's not saying it's the it's the first thing to do, but it's a yeah, it's not a yeah, it's not a it's not a good look. Oh, it's not a good look. No, all right, I had to I had another thing here. I guess I don't get it.

I'd rather just know if people are doing anything fucked up. I like that the Ukrainian leader is like an entertainment guy. Oh, is he? Yeah, he's like a filmmaker and a producer and an actor and a... I'd be surprised if the future isn't just all entertainment people. Oh no, you're right. That's exactly what it's gonna be.

I mean, it is now. Yeah. It is now. And I don't even mind that. Well, you have to be very conscientious to get ahead and entertainment. Well, it's network, it's politics. It's total politics.

There isn't really a, and now they have, you know, there's even more charisma and stuff with people in entertainment a lot of the time, but I think Trump is like the first entertainment celebrity kind of marketing guy we've ever elected, I think. And Obama was like the first rock star. You know, like that's how people, that's how people on the left saw him, I think. Yeah, I think you're right.

It's like a feeding frenzy now. I think it's only gonna, I'm looking at the people who, well, you know, I'm looking at the people who are coming up. I don't know, it might go back to, it might go back to boring for a while. Why though? It's so, like, I don't know, but get off on the constant titillation and stimulation of somebody said something insane, somebody said something they can disagree with. Yeah, I know.

And it's the people who are in entertainment and understand how it works are most likely to be able to exploit that. But, but I'm looking at like the young, I don't know, the young people coming up and none of them seem, none of them seem like that. Maybe, maybe in the next few elections, like people just kind of come out of the woodwork. Like who? AOC? Yeah. Eat babies.

Yeah. Teacher, did you see that? Somebody walked into one of her campaign things with a, we should eat the babies. Yeah, isn't that just, I heard about that. My initial thought was like that's like a modest proposal, right? Like that's total, that's got to be total sat time. And it's a Jonathan Swift, right? Nobody got it.

It's like you guys know, she's obviously joking. Right. She's obviously doing the same exact thing he was doing. Right. No one can possibly think this. So we somebody brought that up. It was somebody's birthday yesterday and everybody went to like a late breakfast brunch type thing or whatever. And somebody said that and I could tell that they were like,

I was the first I had heard of it, I could tell that they were serious. Like, yeah, I was a trumps and I was like, wait, that just sounds like that sounds like that sounds like a modest proposal, right? And then somebody else was like, yeah, yeah, it was like a total like, you know, what, and then he was like, you could tell that it kind of caught him like, oh, yeah, like I knew that. I knew that type of thing. And I was like, that's because that's hysterical. Like the joke is, the joke is in the title of the book.

And on this, it's like, it's so absurd. You should, that's like, you know, people, I'm about to, I'm about to sat, satirize something just so you all know. And it still works. Even if you say it, even if it's like done over and over and over, it still works. Here's one, here's one that I didn't, that I thought was funny.

Here's a post called, I'm so sick of trans women invading lesbian spaces. They've taken over lesbian spaces. They're trying to force women to do that. The battle of, yeah, the battle of the, of the marginalized. Well, this is, yeah, I guess so. I mean, it's, it's, it's, well, we've been oppressed longer than you've been. So it's like, wait a minute, longer than, longer than you've been, we weren't even allowed to say anything before. We didn't even, people didn't even know we existed.

That's how oppressed we were. It's not just this isn't just a one off. Like apparently it's a big deal in the lesbian world or the trans world or whatever, the alphabet war. They've taken over Lesbians. They're trying to force women to date them. If you're a lesbian that doesn't want a day to trans woman, woman, then you're instantly called a turf.

That's a trans exclusionist radical feminist. And looked it up, looked it up. I didn't know what that meant. All the sub-regulars. No, the zero to ten shit is so crazy. The zero to, it's like, we all are, we all are prejudiced. Like we all, it's, we're prejudging.

It's like, yeah, I, I don't think I'm into that. I don't, that doesn't interest me. So now you're, I got that part. Like, oh, yeah, I mean, you want to get you to exact. Yeah, anything, anything goes. Uh, all the subreddits that used to be for lesbians are increasingly filled with trans memes. So they've come, they've come in and wrecked there. I mean, if you're a lesbian, right? Well, you wouldn't want to see that shit. But you can't, you can't stop them.

No, you can't stop them because then you're a turf. Yeah, I guess. I know. There's constant posts about how dick isn't bad and that lesbians need to be more open to it. Girl dick is soft. I'm a lesbian. I don't want any dick, but if you say anything about not liking dick or about how much you love vagina, then you get banned from the sub-red and blah, blah, blah, blah.

This is because all the moderators are now trans women. This is what we're doing. It's a trans coup. Yeah. They've taken over lesbians. You know, I mean, I, I mean, I, I find this, I find it so funny. Yeah. No, no, I, I do too. I find it, I find it incredible. A hundred percent sad and a hundred percent funny at the same time. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's like, yeah, that's, that's us. We're, so worthless as it's your local big it. Lesby ins I mean, you should have given you should have given a little more love to these to the loudmouth in your neighborhood. Shouldn't you? Yeah, you should have found the local dick. Look, it's kind of like it's kind of like, you know, they say like violence is never

the answer, but because my report the answer, well, my report is that's the reason they say that because it's always the fucking answer. I said, you've got to drill into your head that it's not. So you stop thinking about it. Violence is like the answer. Except when it is. Yeah, because it's, you know, defense wins championships unless offense does.

It's like, you can never say always or never. Sometimes, something's got to be done. And it's just, I don't know, people are, also this post was deleted from the sub and re-added it after I complained. Apparently, there's a trans woman mod so they may not be connected. It's, and I don't, you know,

I don't follow the line of thinking like, it's the downfall of society. I mean, I think society is already fallen. I mean, I just, I don't have any faith in anybody. I'm not, we're, I'm not gonna get on a soapbox and, and say things that like the hardcore, you know, like Christians would say, or whatever you say, that's how the next thing you know,

it's gonna buy my kids, you're gonna, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but it's, we're at a point of hyperinflation with the way the debt is climbing. Yeah. And the way our money is structured and the way the debt is climbing, we're at a point where I don't think it can be reversed anyway

And all of the none of this shit matters at all. Yeah, all of this retarded alphabet shit like we forget I want a distraction on the country we are too Well our monster system's only 60 years old. Yeah, but I mean, yeah, so that's even newer It's like I do people honestly every country has fallen at some point, right? I mean, I can't think every empire's fallen, every country has fallen. You think United States is just gonna, the whole concept of American exceptionalism

and that kind of stuff, it's like, no, human nature is human nature man. Like, we're gonna, you know, we're fucked and then maybe after a period, who knows what that is gonna happen to this country? Uh, yeah. Well, then I had it. It's called the cotton ceiling.

I had an article about it. Let me bring it up. The cotton ceiling. I don't know. It's an interesting term. It's not like, it doesn't affect anybody, but just the thought of being one of these people, being a lesbian in one of these spaces

that's being destroyed by, because trans women are very, they have a lot of energy. Yeah, you know, you can't fight energy. Yeah, well, it takes a lot of energy to fight energy. And nobody has time for all that shit. Yeah, you know. All right.

Here it is, Dr. Rachel McKinnon. Transathlete claims lesbians are transphobic for not liking penises So now it's a choice Right. Yeah, no, it's a choice. Yeah Dr. Rachel whatever philosophy professor cyclist trans woman came to fame in 2018 when she made philosophy professor, cyclist, trans woman came to fame in 2018 when she made a history. That should be her story. That's transphobic by being the first trans athlete to win the women's 2018 UCI Masters track cycling world champion.

Yeah. Yeah. Do you see what it takes? Yeah. You have to, you have to write that. Somebody had to write that with a straight face. Man, that dude, that, all I can say is that dude wanted to win really bad. You wanted to get a ribbon real bad.

You wanted to win something really bad. You know what, you're right. Somebody should just go around. A lot of these problems that we're having in society can be stopped if we just had it, if the Mormons would just come around and instead of that god shit, just give your ribbon. Here you go, first place. First place.

Now, don't you feel better in what? Whatever you want. Whatever. Yeah. Women's cycling. Yeah. It is. It's awesome. You just won the first place in the 2019 women's cycling. Now I can go out with a renewed sense of self esteem and conquer the world. I needed. Yeah. I needed was a fucking ribbon. So people. Yeah. Participation trophies ruined society. Ever since, because it's just participation, it should say first place.

That's right. Why stop at participation? Yeah. That's like, here, this proves you were there. Yeah. Well, that's shitty. Just say it's first place. Yeah.

Just say I won first place. I know that I didn't, but if it says first place, it's reinforced my delusion. Yeah, fucking jerks. I asked, if you see number one enough times, you'll probably start to believe it. You'll believe it right away. I asked the little Irishman, they had a soccer game.

Yeah, I said, oh, who won? Did you win? And he goes, well, uncle, nobody wins or loses. Oh, okay, Jesus. Who scored more goals? And he goes, the other team. Okay, so loses. So, okay, who scored more goals? And he goes, the other team. Okay, so you lost. I was like, they're training you to be maddags.

Jesus. Oh, who scored more goals? The other team, they scored way more goals. I can't imagine. Oh, so you're like, you're aware of it. Yeah. But you just, they've already trained you to not say it. I can't imagine playing sports growing up and not having, I mean, the only thing

I cared about was winning. He didn't even care. Yeah. He didn't care. I only cared about winning. Like, yeah, we got a bunch of fucking morons on the team. Got a bunch of dudes screaming. God knows what they're doing. But he already knew, just already had been trained to say it like that. Yeah. How man, don't do the, he was the last, scored more points. He was the last winner. Yeah. McKinnon is a vocal trans advocate who has been who's spoken out in favor of

trans women competing in women sports and has physically dominated by a logical blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. A cotton ceiling. Yeah. I don't know. The cotton ceiling, what? Meaning it's pliable or it's like, uh, what's the, I caught in ceiling. Yeah, I don't know. The caught in ceiling, what? Meaning it's pliable or it's like, what's the, I don't, probably period joke.

I know anything about women. It's always about their periods. I'm trying to find funny quotes. Yeah. Do you think it's wrong for someone who is sexually orientated to include men not to date a trans man because he has a vagina? Get even understand. I don't get it. Wait, wait, wait, who's sexually orientated to include men?

Yeah, do you think it's wrong for someone who's sexually orientated to include men? Uh-huh. Not today to trans man because he has a vagina. What do you think about that? Go. What? Who's like sexually orientated like preference? To include men. Oh, who fucking knows? What the fuck? Yeah, that's terrible.

That's a horrible sentence. It doesn't make sense to me. Here's another one. This one is called, America's White Saving. America's White Saving. My favorite people. Yeah.

I thought this was pretty interesting. So this is a survey based on preferences for what is it called? Outgroups, I think it is. In group bias, in group bias by race and ethnicity. What's an in group? In group is what, like the majority, how most people are like you.

Yes, you'd think that, you know, biologically, you would feel more compassion for someone who looks like you. Okay, it's racism. I guess, yeah, right. That's just how people are. It is when you see someone being taken advantage of, these are the types of questions that they ask.

When you see someone being taken advantage of due to their race or ethnicity, how do you feel, do you feel protective towards them? Right. And they asked a bunch of, they asked a bunch of races and a bunch of political persuasions of how they feel about this is this type of thing. How often would you say that you have tender, concerned feelings for people from another racial or ethnic group who are less fortunate than you? I guess do you care about the negative effects of illegal immigration on black people?

Right. But how often do you think about that? Yeah. How I'm asking you, how I would say, I think about it like, you know, I don't know, everyone's, I kind of got a lot of shit to do. I don't think about it all that much. I mean, free time I'm thinking about it.

Tell me to knock a, not thinking about it. No, it definitely crosses my mind. It usually wants in a while. Usually on this show, as a matter of fact, and only when you talk about that kind of stuff. No, I mean occasionally it's like, that's what I should say. If you like see somebody who's like, it's like, oh, man,

that's, that's fucking rough, you know, like, you know what the best, you know what the best part about the Joker is, they blame the whole thing on the shutdown of the, of the insane asylum. They blame the entire thing on the shut, like the, the nationwide shutdown on social welfare nets for insane people. Yeah, yeah. Which is 100% true. What, releasing all the mental patients from, yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's not a good thing. Yeah. Before criticizing someone from another racial or ethnic group,

how often do you try to imagine how you would feel if you were in their place, never. Before criticizing. Well, that's a thing I think, if they're doing something or acting in a way that especially that like you don't like, are you, or you perceive as bad, you're going to criticize first.

Me, me. You're not gonna think about like their backstory. That's just what we do. We just jump to that first. So here is the results of this mean in group bias test by race and ethnicity. You've got black people who have an in group bias of 15% Hispanics, about 13% Asians, about 14%.

It's all right there. Non-liberal whites, about 12%. White liberals, negative 13%. So they have, and they prefer, they have more compassion for people who are not them. Yeah. That's fascinating. Now, do you think that's a, that's the correct, that's them answering, quote unquote, correctly. I mean, I don't know. Versus, I don't know. I'm talking to a six year old who's telling me that nobody won or lost.

Even though the O team scored a lot more goals. And then he can say with the same precision and the same decisiveness and the same speed who had more points. He said, man, I have a big problem with that. I just, that sucks for you. I see a lot of posturing or almost a, almost a competition in the entertainment industry sometimes to be more virtuous than

others. And it's like, I know, you know, in a conversation, it's like, I know you both started too high. It's like starting the national anthem too high. You know what I mean? It's like, you're going to need the It's like you're gonna need it on top. Maybe start it a little lower because you just kind of, you just painted yourself right into an embarrassment. Start way down there. You just painted yourself.

Carl Lewis, the track star, not the, yeah. Right. Not the tour manager of the year. Yeah. As the above graph shows, white liberals, especially the self identified very liberal

significantly more likely to work or intense or extremely frequent feelings of tender hard to this protectiveness and sensitivity and considering the circumstances of racial and ethnic outgroup members all while related graph shows the average differences in feelings of warmth look how consistent everybody is. You know, I mean, other than that.

I mean, I don't know, I think a percentage, it's very odd. Just pointing out the obvious, but I'm sure a percentage actually feel that way. And I think a, probably maybe a larger percentage go, that's the way I'm supposed to answer. I identify with this group. Maybe you're not so far left, but you become further left

as you listen to the loudest voices. And, you know, if you're pretending, what's the difference? Good point. I mean, if you're, if this is how you're responding to surveys and then the surveys become policies and that becomes your vote, what's the, it doesn't really matter if you actually mean it or not. That was interesting. It is. It is.

It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is.

It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is.

It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. How are the human mind to go against, to go against biology by that, by not, by not, not like, by completely reversing it. That is a negative preference. Yeah, and the other direction. Right, that's fucking weird. I had another survey that said Jews think, think we talk about Israel too much. Of all they surveyed all the groups, and it was, do you think we're too worried about Israel too much. Of all, they surveyed all the groups,

and it was, do you think we're too worried about Israel? And it was Jews, yeah. Yes. I thought that was funny. I think people talk about it so, like, you know, the right is really funny too, because like it's like, oh, yeah, can't support Israel enough.

Like, can't support, I mean, it's just everything. It's like, that's the virtue signaling on Israel enough. Like can't support, I mean, it's just everything. It's like, that's the virtue signalling on the right. Weirdly. Like, he's not. I've never met, I've never met a real person. I went to Israel. I didn't meet the real person who's that into Israel. Hmm.

It's always just people talking about it. Never met a real, I've never met a person on the street who's into it. I've met a person on the street who's into it. I've met a person on the street who thinks that there, that he's, his blood is full of nanobots that are triggered by 5G and excrete a fiber through his skin. Yeah. And then he picks this off of his skin every day and that if I go, if I want to prove it to myself, I should go home, take some red wine, put it in my mouth, switch it around and spit it into a bowl,

and that there will be dead nanobots in the bowl. I have met that person. Yeah, yeah. Never met someone concerned about Israel in real life. Yeah. Nanobots, yeah. You know what else? I'll tell you what makes me rich.

We met a girl last weekend at a bar, real loud mouth. Yeah. And she gave me, she weekend at a barb, real loudmouth. Yeah. And she gave me, she gave me a shit test, which I fucking hate when women do. And she walked into, she walked into a shit test, the very last person on earth that she would have wanted to challenge with this shit test. Yeah. that she would have wanted to challenge with this shit test. Like every girl, many, many, many, many girls have like their stock shit test.

And hers happened to be, I'm from Bosnia. I bet you don't know where that is. Uh-huh. And I heard her doing it to Tony from hack the movies. Right. So I quickly picked up my phone. Yeah. No, no. I know picked up my phone. Yeah, no, no.

I know where Bosnia is because I was alive when we bombed it. And she's used to running this scam on millennials. Yeah, yeah. Never heard of Bosnia, her's Kavenia, but I live and die Bosnia, her's Kavenia. I've heard Norm McDonald talking about it for three years. It was all over the fucking news. Oh, yeah, near Croatia, Serbia, just to the east of Italy, not quite on the black sea, but close to her. She goes, as I was doing, she's like, that's not close enough. Ma, no, it's actually Croatia. You know, do you know wherenia is? Bitch, do you fucking know where it is?

I know you've been running this game all over town. You're so fucking special that you know where Bosnia is. I fucking know where it is. Give it to me. At least give it to me and she couldn't. It's still annoying me to this day. Like do you even know where you are right now? Yeah. All right, what was I doing?

Oh yes, comments, comments. Hey, Dick, I recently finished episode 174 towards the end. You brought up the hottest new carbon pollution figures. I was disappointed that none of you picked up on the manipulative presentation of these numbers as a per capita statistic. Did we not? And all of you seemed a bit defeated by the revelation that the US is the number one globally. Oh, by the way, we're not. I mean, in absolute, but in why is why is a per capita manipulative? Okay.

People who we do people who think the global warming is a hoax, right? Yeah. They think that showing how they think that showing how eventually China will catch up to us in the per capita consumption is important. They feel that expressing that will somehow make will somehow make people not think that the world is will somehow convince people that they're not saving the world by telling you to use, by telling you to not eat bugs. They think that, they think that you can reason with people who are insane.

So, this is one of their talking points. That's what I think he's saying. By the way, you know, Greta the Gremlin, that little bitch who was screaming, how dare you would everybody? Yes, yes, yes. I found, I learned that her mother... She's got a tag now. That's a great strength.

I read the grandmother name. Yeah. I learned that her mother said she can see CO2 with her eyes. Okay, so she's crazy. Yeah, right? Well, I mean, who would have thought that? Yeah. She'll lead with that.

I can see it with my eyes. I go, wow. Yeah. That's a parent who is really exceptionalized their child. You can see it. You have superpowers. Why on earth should Indian China be able to hide their contributions behind what is literally billions of undeveloped surfs? It's irrational. I mean, the whole thing's irrational, though, but I understand that. What are you saying? Yeah, because the vast majority, well, they're, yeah, they're, he's saying it's where it's who's using it.

Yeah. So it's like, there's billions of people who are using nothing. So it brings the per capita figure way the fuck down. Yeah. Well, we're at first world country. Yeah. It's irrational and more than a bit demeaning to be compared with such a group. Oh, wow. We didn't look at per capita figures for first world countries basically. I did. Yeah. No, did we? It was like 15. It was, it was basically triple. Where China in India do? Yeah, but those are triple China and then what about, what about England? Like what about normal? We're right on all the,. Oh, are we? The first world's all the same. Oh, really? Yeah.

So they're like us. Okay. No, I could see that because like China's not entirely a first world country. Or I mean, it's got developed and not in. Oh. No, China, those motherfuckers are living on concrete slabs and working 12 hours a day every day.

Yeah, well that's basically just, they're more machine than man over there. Yeah. There's a documentary called American Factory. That's really interesting. Yeah, what's Canada's per capita? What's same as us? Is it, okay, that's, because we didn't see all those. No, they're all comparable.

Yeah, so, well, so I get, I understand his argument when you're comparing per capita to things that are not like us. Uh, if this data must be represented in a per capita manner, we should use a metric to represent the number of people living developed lifestyles in each nation. Oh, there you go. That's our right representation. Yep. This is the number of cars.

Okay. Well, here's another one. Justin Lin, that one gets a little lost in the details. People don't care though. They just wanna feel important, like they're saving the world. That's never gonna change. Justin Lin, you know what,

really makes me rage dick. Everyone I've ever dated has said my brother is sexy or attractive or cute. And it drives me fucking mad. There's no reason to mention that at all. And yeah, everyone I've ever dated has said my brother is sexy or attractive or cute. And there's no reason to mention that.

Well, if you go back and look at the Bible, there is a solution for that stoning. Well, violence is not the answer though. Right, so listen, Kane, so do a little thinkin' and then maybe pick up a big fuckin' rock and take care of the situation. They'll raise brother. Yeah, oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, because God is clearly biased.

Oh, you think my brother's cute? I'm gonna fuck your mom. I would love to get a hand job. I would love to get my dick sucked by your mom. How about that visual? Every time you're sucking my cock, I'm imagining your mom doing it. Right.

Not even, it's not even that she's that conventionally attractive. It's just something about her. Right. Something about the, something about her maturity, something about the way she carries herself. Whenever she criticizes you in front of me,

I start getting hard, very good. That's what I'm about. You think my fucking brother's cute, fuck you. Everyone I've ever dated has either come across him in real life or seen a picture. And every single time, they have to make a comment on how good looking he is. To be honest, he's not even that good looking at all. He's just, he's got this dad bod of a fat fuck face that's

not even remotely attractive. Yet I have to hear about it all the time. I had to get this rage out. Now it would be annoying. That would be very fucking annoying. Chris Primer, from my understanding, the only difference between, oh, he says psychopath versus sociopath. Remember, Monday and Matt called me in the sociopath. From my understanding, the only difference between the two is how functional they are in society. Patrick Bateman might be able to psychopath, but Charlie Kelly from, it's always sunny and

Philadelphia would be labeled a sociopath. That's the line that some, I guess that some experts draw, but I think most are on the side of the sociopath is the updated word. Oh yeah. People who use it, don't know what the fuck they're talking about. Well, they're just mad. But it's also like, they got dumbed.

That's also like sociopath and stuff. Like, I think I'm right on this. It's not a diagnosis. Oh, and Monday and Matt's. No, there's people who are called that have, you know, they have, you know, anti-social personality disorder, something like that. That's what may, so it's like, that's not a,

you're not a diagnosed sociopath. In other words. Yeah. I've never heard anyone, no one who anyone respects, That's not a, you're not a diagnosed sociopath. In other words, yeah. I've never heard anyone, no one who anyone respects has used this for others. Like your father, yeah. He's never called anyone a sociopath. Yeah. Only hysterical, only men who are hysterical

and angry but have no balls use it. And women who are just running their mouth about an ex-boyfriend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No one uses it. No one uses it except morons. Right. It's a catch all for, you know, there's no disdain. People who behave in ways that they don't like or it's like, oh, obviously, people who just psycho, people stalker. Yes. People who rely on the phrase, violence is never the answer.

Are the only ones who are calling people sociopaths as like a path, probably true. Probably true. Uh huh. You want to do some advice? Oh no, this is, this is a good email. How about this one? All right, all right.

Hey, Dick, I'm not exactly sure why I feel the need to share this with you. This, but this came in through the Twitter. I'm actually a practicing cuckold fetish. Fetishist. No. For whatever reason, I actually get off on watching and hearing about other men having sex with the woman I'm into while being teased and degraded about it.

Admittedly, it's a gross fetish that I'm ashamed to have. And yet, even I still know for a fact and take solace in the objective reality that I'm less of a cuck than Maddox. This is a real practicing cuck. Right. So on the one hand, thank you, Dick, for that reassurance. Thank you, Moses. On the other hand, please, for the love of God, stop making Maddox the poster child for our cuckled fetish community. Just because some of, but wouldn't that be the ultimate poster boy for a cuck community is someone else taking it who doesn't deserve it? Oh, wait, yeah.

Yeah, just because some of us enjoy the sick pleasure of licking up other men's semen. Wait, wait, wait. The giant is, oh my god. That doesn't mean that we wish let alone deserve to be lumped in with that pathetic loser as well. Jesus. Or to explain it another way, I'm depraved enough to lock up my own penis inside a chastity cage.

Damn it, but I would never. He goes for it. Yeah. I gotta have this guy calling in, but I would never lock up my own dignity by going out in public with a Metroid T-shirt just underneath a cheap blazer with a Metroid T-shirt underneath a cheap laser with a zipper on it.

We are not Maddox and these slanders comparisons need to stop. Otherwise, keep up the great work. Respectfully yours a perverted fan. Wow. Good for you. Sure. Live in his fetish. You gotta get him balls for that, I guess.

I'm not willing to try that one out, almost any other one. But you're clearly a bigot. You're some kind of a turf. Yeah, I'm a turf. I'm some kind of turf. You're kind of a... You're a seamen exclusiveist or something. Eat bugs.

Eat bugs, live in a garbage can. Suck my dick, you stupid lesbian. Yeah. Or you're a big it. We finally, we finally found a way to get them. These men have been working around the clock to figure out how to get these lesbians to suck our dick. Hey, dick, please don't read this on the show. It's either weedwack retires.

Please don't read this on the show. Please don't read this his email. Yes, I think so. Or maybe the whole email. Yes, I think so. Up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up Got any advice from me? This is my first time taking someone home and I'm still in junior in high school if that helps at all I want to get my dick wet, but I'm not expecting it to happen with this bitch, okay? First girl I've dated in about three years now. I've been dating for about a week. Wow getting right into it I'm very clueless on flirting. I wouldn't know how if you slapped me in the face and sometimes I struggle with, as well as holding a decent conversation. Yeah, I don't think, well, okay, I'm not expecting this

to go far, but it's a start for me, and I want to use this experience shitty or not to learn how to be less autistic around broads and be a little more confident. I hope this helps. I think you just wanted a private answer. But I think, um, sound. I would say, think of, I would say, think of whatever happens, whatever you do, whatever conversation, however awkward, however, you got to look at it as a bonus. It's just how much, it's how much you gain. You're not losing anything. You can only gain from this experience. It will only... Oh, even if you fuck up. Totally.

It's still, you just don't, maybe... I don't know. It's always a net gain. Yeah. I think at this stage, to me. I think magic tricks. It can only be positive. Magic tricks and lies.

Okay. That's the secret to maintaining a conversation with women. Talking about how they have superpowers, go right for it. You seem like you have some sort of a superpower. How's the CO2 level in this room? Can you see it? Yeah. You seem like you could see women will eat that up. Even I've never met a woman who doesn't want to be told that they have some sort of electrical powers, gravity powers, ghosts. Magic, ghosts. Ghosts.

Ghosts, you're not so, oh, there's a one in three chance that she believes in ghosts. And Gordy and Angel, you say Gordy and Angel, she will rip your belt off of your pants. Have you ever seen a dead relative? Yeah. Oh my God, you're in. Halloween time, Halloween time always makes me think of how special it is. God, this is so true.

How many women have seen ghosts? Have you ever had a ghost experience? No. No, not you. That's what you say. Have you ever had a ghost? Have you ever had it? When's the last time you had a ghost experience? Not excuse me, have you ever had that's insane?

When's the last time you had a ghost experience? Not, excuse me, have you ever had that's insane? When's the last time you had a ghost experience? Right, right. When's the last ghost experience? Yeah. Give it a shot. Yeah. It's, it's more likely than anything else, anything else. What's your favorite band? When's the last time you've seen a ghost? Right. How's your dad? What's your dad like? What's your dad like? What's your dad like? What's your favorite band? When's the last time you've seen a ghost? There, if you're not getting your dick wet

after those three questions, you are too ugly to live. Oh God. Ha ha ha. Capri Sun, hey dick, I've been mowing this over a lot recently and hope you could offer some perspective. I'm 20 years old and for the past year, I've not been able to get over a girl. Oh no. I understand that it offer some perspective. I'm 20 years old and for the past year, I've not been able to get over a girl. Oh no, I understand that it's not healthy.

And I hate that I can't get over this chick. Though I can't get over her for some ass and eye reason despite being with a couple other chicks since then. I feel like it was because the relationship took place while I was in the worst physical and mental health. I've ever been in. I've ever been in a, could you ever say that? I was at worst mental health I've ever been in. Have you ever been in a, could you ever say that? I was at worst mental health I've ever been in.

It's been a really dark time. Yeah, I think I, I think I, I thought period more. Yeah, like I mean, I don't know how long it was. Yeah, yeah, I actually, I actually do think I could probably say that. Maybe you could tell this guy what to do. She also had some odd mental condition where she would physically cringe

from people touching her. There you go. There's some, yeah. So magical shit. So it made the relationship never go anywhere. And it ended after, because you never got to fuck her. That is, that will stick with you fucking forever, man. It's even, even pretend women. That will stick with you fucking forever, man. It's even, even pretend women. That will stick with you fucking forever.

That one that you never got to fuck and the second you fucked them, you're done forever. How long do they think about them again? How long will they together? Like he, five months, it ended after five months. Well, yeah, that's, oh, that's some pretty deep feelings for that length of time and, no, it's not like, that's normal. deep feelings for that length of time.

And it's not like, I mean. That's normal. If you never got to fuck her, you never got to touch her. And you're with her for five months, and then she's gone, because it has nothing to do with her. It's just that you never got to do it. I don't know, man. I guess I don't relate to this.

I 100% relate to this. There was, I was playing a fucking video game called Firewatch, and you talk to this bitch the whole game, like kind of flirting with her, you choose what to say or whatever, and then at the end of the game, 80s girl and I were playing it, at the end of the game,

you go to where her little fire station is, like you've navigated your way there, and she's gone, and it's still fucking annoys me that I can't see what she looks like. Even in a make believe woman. I crawled through her whole thing, like I crawled through her fire tower

and found her clothes to see her size. Like, well, okay, it's a medium shirt. Like that's a, you know, you know. Yeah, yeah, you're trying to, right. You're picking up on the clues. Yeah, however, since then I have not found anyone I've been into as I was her. That's totally irrelevant.

It's totally irrelevant. It's just so you can get back. So I've been working. He might have built up in his mind too, all these things that she may or may not have been. Yeah. So I've been working since then on improving my mental health. And in this last month, I've started improving my diet

and going to the gym regularly. Good for you. But I can't get this chick out of my fucking brain. Maybe I'm just surrounded by some of the most uninteresting women I've ever been around. Who knows? No, it's that you didn't get to fuck her. The second you fucked her, she would have been like

every single other woman on the fucking planet. And- Well, has he gotten laid before? I don't know. He's 20. I think that, I mean, that's, I think that's a question. That's a good question. Sorry for the long email.

Just don't want to be another Maddox who can't get over some chick. Love the show. Go take yourself son from, son from Tennessee or Capri Sun is some people call me. This is what you do. The problem with Maddox isn't that he couldn't get over some chick. It's that he acted on it. Yeah. Yeah. It's that he acted. The one thing that they don't tell you in life, you don't have to act on everything. Well, also, there are, there are some things you never get over, you just learn to live with. Yeah. And that's a fucking hard thing to learn. It's whoever said, you know, time heals all wounds.

It needs to be murdered in front of their family, slowly and painfully. Go ahead and heal anything. Go ahead and ask a parent who's lost a child. You know, when they get over it. That's a little mud. I know, but it's like it's such a stupid thing to say. I saw a chick, I was doing it, it's a crime.

It's a phenomenal dumb. I saw a chick on Melrose the other day, this blonde girl with just enormous cans. And I, for the rest of my life, I will never get over that I cannot fuck her. I get it. I mean, I usually go to frustration and anger when I see somebody like that. Yeah, but it will stay with me forever. Yeah, I will always go,

God damn it. Something I could have done. The one. The one. The one that got away. But they're all the time. It's every fucking day. You just have to take a big box.

Yes, yeah. And you take a big box. Yes, yeah. And you take a big box and you just start depositing women into it that you could not fuck. God, for God's sake, five months though. Maybe it was hysteriosis X. Oh boy. She had some odd mental condition. Stereosis X.

Remember she was allergic to everything? Oh yeah. But she really did. She really was. I mean, she really helped. But she really did. She really was. I mean, she really had, I don't know. Yeah, but I mean like, if that condition, because I looked up, that's, it's pretty wild. Yeah. It's wild.

Oh, I know she came on Reddit and what, I know she was being a little disrespectful. Oh, was she? Yeah. Oh, okay. I know she was throwing shade And then, mm-hmm. She had some odd mental condition where she would physically cringe from people touching her.

Yeah, that's called being insane. So it made the relationship never go anywhere and it ended after like five months. Should it end it after? One day, man. Yeah, that's fucking long. Too fucking long. Two fucking long. Well, like physically, like, you know,

could you after the first touch, could you touch her? I mean, that's, yeah, that's a weird one. Yeah, that's a weird one. Oh, I got goose Wayne here, who's he where he is? Well, okay. How's it going today? I can't tell how long I've gone with all my roofies. I think fine.

Okay. Could I get it? Is there a diet coke up there? No. Oh, my roofies. I think fine. Okay. Could I get it? Is there a diet coke up there? No. Oh my God. It's going horribly. It's going horribly today. The show is off the rails.

All right. He's on Dr. Phil too. Yeah, he was on Dr. Phil. Dr. Phil alum. I'll just bring him on right now. What's up, Goose? Hey, what's going on, bro? What's going on, man?

We're Dr. Phil alum. Yeah, you sound fantastic. You're the best. I've ever heard of. Dr. Phil alumni, man. Yeah, really? This is the Dr. Phil survivor group. People ask me all the time. Do we have a like a Dr. Phil gang? Because I know like a quite a few Dr. Phil guests. So they yeah, I do. Who else do you know? Uh, sexy. Just probably the biggest name that you know. Isn't that guy, didn't he fuck his dog? Oh, so he told me that, uh, I was seeing the story as,

Why does everything always lead to something horrible? Well, I can't, I mean, I don't really, you know, who knows? Maybe he did, but he told me that, uh, uh, his Twitter account, he got to post nudes. No, no, he used to put nudes on like PC news on Twitter. And he posted a video where he was nude and his dog came up and licked his butt hole.

And he didn't know that that was illegal. He didn't know who that was. Oh, that's it. Yeah that that was illegal. He didn't know that. Oh, that's it. Yeah, that was it. He's, he, oh, because I was like, why'd you post that up? And he's, I didn't know, I didn't know Beastieality was illegal here.

And I was like, oh, sounds like he was raped. That's, yeah, sounds like he was raped while he was born. It's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, yeah. That's fucking raped. Yeah, I mean, that's bullshit. People are, people in there fucking

don't. I mean, honestly, I don't want to defend somebody that's accused of that, but I could see that being legitimate. Uh, yeah, dogs lick assholes all the time. Yeah, that's like what they're known for. It's their greeting. They came up, smelt some shit and they licked it, you know what I mean? I don't think that, I think he should be like on that charge personally.

Yeah. You know, I agree with you. Oh, that's good. I thought, I don't know. I saw some news article about him that he's a real sicko and a pervert in a weirdo, but that's all he's a, that is another doctor, Phil. Well, sexy vegan. Yeah.

Yeah, that is true though. I mean, like I know the guy and what you saw, I'm sure you've seen his episode, like when I, when I video chatted with him, I was expecting, okay, that was, he's going to be somewhat tame, you know, off camera. Yeah. Absolutely not. The dude is psycho. Oh, uh, that is subjective too. A lot of people think I'm crazy. So he's a real lunatic. I got my opinion. I got some of your, I got your clip pulled up now. Dr. Phil asks Batman, Goose Wayne, if he's delusional. It's 13 minutes. I'm not going to play the whole thing. Should I play for the beginning? Play a little bit Sean. Yeah, I want to see what's going

on here. Oh, wait, no, this is this is some assholes covering it. Hold on. Oh, I hate that. Me too. I hate that. You think you just I just want to see the fucking clip. There's a lot of those. Yeah. But they won't give me any tapes either. Dude, my tapes have been scourged from the earth. Yeah. There was a loss after I was on two of the women who were in the house with me. So, Dr. Phil, because a nudist came over and they were like, they were claiming sexual harassment or whatever. So CBS wiped the tapes off the fucking earth. They're not even played anymore. It's like they were recorded by somebody that still has the record, the record or whatever

you want to call it. Yeah. Okay, here we go. Which we attempted to pay a ransom, right? Yeah, we're going to get those. Okay, so this is in the middle of your conversation. This is on the Dr. Phil website. It says, a man says he's goose Wayne Batman and dedicated to bringing people to justice. Does he have a mental illness? Is he being selfish? What does he's fiance say? This is this is this is top tier Dr. Phil. Yeah, absolutely. Here's Dr. Phil Are you delusional and then here's goose Wayne that he's talking which why do you ask a patient that you know? Yeah Yeah, no, I'm good doc

That right fine exactly like you're the doctor, dude Right, you should be able to observe you know, you don't ask me No, I'm not yeah, has anyone ever responded in the affirmative to that question? Only if they're trying to get out of something yeah, definitely Here we go. Aren't we all delusional to an extent? It's an ostosal security. Oh, yeah, I could have gone pro. Yeah. You know, here we go. It's three minutes long. This one's much better. Are you delusional? Do you suffer from a mental illness? Do you think you do?

It's very understandable. I think this seems to be... Oh my God. Oh my God. That is just a phenomenal like deadpan expression with those eyes. This is Goose. You're sitting there. You are on Dr. Phil deadpan with a giant beard shaved head and black around your eyes.

Like Batman would have if he removed the cowl. Right? That's what I'm looking at. Here we go. around your eyes, like Batman would have, if he removed the cowl, right? That's what I'm looking at. Here we go. Like I'm mentally deluded, and I strongly oppose that view. Yeah. I'm probably the least just middle person I've ever met.

Oh yeah. This is a lie. I kind of think each two is own. I mean, you want to run around dressed up as Batman. Not yourself out if it doesn't hurt anybody. Running around as Batman. I think it's barely hurt. I think it hurts the woman that you love. That's a point.

And also cheats society out of you. I mean, like you said, you spent four years in the military and you've just checked out. I consider this a very- Looking out of me. consider this a delusional disorder. Let's look at what that means. It's just a non-skitsophrenic individual that experiences non-bizarre delusions. Okay, now Dr. Phil has a slide up that says delusional disorder,

non-skitsophren who's saying what he's reading like he's doing a TED talk. I hope you respond. They often socialize and function normally and generally do not behave in an odd or bizarre manner. Well, so you kind of don't fit there because you are behaving in what would be an odd manner, right? You're pretending to be Batman, right?

Yeah. I'm Batman. Yeah, just to let everybody know what's going on here. He's on Dr. Phil because he's pretending to be Batman. Right. Here we go. And it's causing problems with his fiance. Depends. Let's look at normal versus abnormal. Normal, if you're talking about behavior,

does not interfere with healthy functioning and pursuit of goals, and abnormal interferes with healthy functioning and pursuit of goals. And doing this does interfere with pursuit of goals. It's not getting you what you want in life. It seems to me like it's going to be... How do you know he wants in life, though? Yeah. What have you stopped in crime? I want to save people.

But is it selfish? It may be. I'm in a hard to argue with that. Maybe. I don't know. You look beautiful by the way. Is that your fiance? Is she your current fiance?

Yeah, she's tiered out, yeah. Oh God, and is she in on this? In on what? I'm just trying to know that. Oh yeah, okay, all right, all right. Look at how angry these chicks look. Man, I don't know about you, but, well, let's watch this, I'll get to it.

I'll get to the doctor. You might find this a pretty hard, active place. And I do a to the doctor. You might find this a pretty hard back to replace. And I do a lot for you. The long disinrelationship is already hard enough and then to add this element of whatever this is on top of it. Look, okay, you can be back girl. So, yeah, so you work to be a record and then you drive two hours to see him and then

when you get there, what happens? We just stay at home. Yeah, he breathes. It's obviously. It's obviously bad around. How can I go anywhere? When you get far. When you get to see him, his back hands mask on.

Most times, if he doesn't, he looks like that. OK. And he has a batman suit. He does. Does he wash this suit? No. It has coffee, beer, inside of his Batman house. Oh, now, wait a minute, you guys, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, of beard is Batman drink? Well, across the street, they have it marked wrong. So it's $2 less. It's a two four packs for six bucks, a Miller high life. Miller high lives. That's what the champagne of beer

stick. It's the champagne of beers. Yes. Which is how Bruce Wayne would live on a budget. Right? Yes. I love my life. Yeah, it's so high life. Champagne, you know, it says champagne on it. Okay, I got to say that. Gotta be frugal. I got to finish 20 more seconds. Yeah, smart with your money.

You've got, Dr. Phil is showing Goose Wayne's Instagram posts and it's you chugging. Yeah, is that a, yeah, you, that's you chugging to be a whole storyline up there. It's a whole party. If you start from the beginning, from left to right, it's a whole fucking the story of a party. It's Dr. Phil McCarty. I end up in the bathtub. If you see the bathtub, I end up in the bathtub crying with like, I see that. This is shown, this is Sean with this level of serious this, Sean. I know. I know. It's the grandpa.

Oh, it's the grandpa. This is him and this is Goose Wayne and a wife beater. Do it. It looks like he's still wearing the cowl, of course. Yeah. I don't know. It looks like he's looking in the fridge for something. Okay, here we go.

Here we go. And then in the bath tub at the end and his underpants. Excellent. Right there. You said he has, right there. Bungus growing from the, yeah. You can see white patches on the top of his head. That's not like a sunburn or dry skin mask.

Like fungus from swimming inside his mask. He tried to play his mask and went, so he's gonna grab it and it was like actually slimy. Your fiance is incredible. It's just what, she's amazing. She's an amazing person. I think it's just one of the work hazards, I guess you would call it. Yeah. Okay. Like, you know, calluses on your hands from construction work or something. You got fungus on your head. I think we filmed in that

same little house that you filmed at Dick. It's like a warehouse, right? It's on... Yours was like a little house in the valley, right? No, it was a studio. Oh, no, but I mean, when you go to the Dr. Phil house. The Dr. Phil house is a studio. Oh, it is, okay. It's a warehouse. It's, they made it look like a house.

Yes, it was next to super delicious on sunset and like orange. Really. Oh, that's great. So what the hell happened? How did you do this? It's hilarious, really. I've been there. Yeah. Oh, that's great. So what the hell, what the hell happened? How did you do this? It's hilarious, obviously, that this is foisted upon the daytime TV watching audience, that this is a real man pretending to be Batman

and it's causing problems. It's like the old people hate it, bro. The old people hate it. What did they, what did they said? You're no Adam West. What's up? They hate it, man. They're just, they're just like, you know, you know, I don't know why they hate it.

They just hate us, bro. I don't know. What do they say? What do they say? I think maybe they hate the mixed, the interracial relationship. I think that's what it is. There's no reason for it. You might be right.

You might be right. Beautiful white. They don't give a reason. They're just super hero. They always say, I'm skipping this one. That's what I a reason. They're doing a superhero. They don't give a reason. They're doing a superhero. They don't give a reason. They're doing a superhero. They don't give a reason.

They're doing a superhero. They don't give a reason. They're doing a superhero. They don't give a reason. They're doing a superhero. They don't give a reason. They don't give a reason. They're doing a superhero. They don't give a reason. They're doing a superhero. They don't give a reason. They're doing a superhero. They don't give a reason. They're doing a superhero. They don't give a reason. They're doing a superhero. They don't give a reason. They're doing a superhero. They don't give a reason. They're doing a superhero. They don't give a reason. They're doing a superhero. They don't give a reason. They're doing a superhero. They don't give a reason. They're doing a superhero. They don't give a reason. They don't give a reason. They don't give a reason. They don't give a reason. They don't give a reason. They don't give a reason. They don't give a reason. They don't give a reason. They don't give a reason. They don't give a reason. They don't give a reason. They don't give a reason. They don't give a reason. They don't give a reason. They don't give a reason. They don't give a reason. They don't give a mix. I see. Put him back up on the screen. He got Nigerian in him, Sean.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. How did this play out? How did you do that? He looks like a white guy from the suburbs to me. No, he's too tan. I see. You know what?

It's funny speaking of white guy. I've been in a while to say the end word my entire life. No one has ever said anything to me. It wasn't until I got put in the spotlight by PewDiePie. And he's regarded as like a right winger. PewDiePie loves the N word. He can't say that at all. All of a sudden I can no longer say the N word.

Now I'm racist if I say it, even though I grew up in urban America. So it's very interesting the way that works. But yeah, I can no longer say the N word. It's very unfortunate. I feel like I lost a lot. Oh, that sucks. Did you see the Joker who was planning on saying it and then he pitched out? Man, that was bad. That was sad. Yeah. I didn't like the, I honestly was very upset. I don't know how that sounds, but I was very upset by the skit that I was posted. Me too.

Even a tweet, just for the meme of the N word being said would have been great, I think. I felt like it was more offensive. Like I felt like it turned the joke onto me and then I felt like a race. It's like, oh, now I feel gross for wanting this to have happened. Yeah. And being angry about it. I thought it was, I thought it sucked, it kind of sucked.

But at the same time, maybe he was looking out for the health of that particular account because his main account doesn't really have much clout quotes. You know, maybe he wanted to make that account into something else. I don't know. That's even more pathetic. I see it from that viewpoint as well. I mean, because that joke or account has a lot of publicity right now.

That's why it was funny. Torching that account is exactly why it was funny. If he did it to keep that big account Then here's the thing is I'm known as being Batman, but if I was known as being Joker I 100% would have said the N word or at least tweeted it because you are a Joker you are against society like that is your entire premise. Yeah, I understand the sketch You know, it's it's a good bit bit and it did well, but I don't know.

I think to honor the character at the very least, he should have said it. He should have said it. In my opinion. No, why are you, why are you goose Wayne? Oh, yeah, good question. Where's actually, actually, so a lot of people don't know this. This is why I'm not streaming this. Goose Wayne in Somalian means big penis.

Okay. Really? Yeah. Goose in Somalian means big and Wayne means penis. Oh, sure. So my name literally means big penis. But I think if I, yeah, if I, I think if I, if my fans knew that, then maybe they would think I was trolling.

So I try to. Oh, okay. They don't want proof. Which, too. And you're not going to give them that. I see. So you are, you have Nigerian in you? Sounds like it. Correct.

Yes, correct. Okay, so how did you do this with Dr. Phil? How the fuck did you get him to put your ass and your fiance on television in front of everybody with this fucking eye makeup that looks like it's like a joke. It's like everyone's in on the joke except Dr. Phil. Yeah, it really is. It's like candid camera, but not on Dr. Joe.

Actually, there was a huge vetting process with this. It was literally three months of interviews and stuff like that. No, I don't know if that's like the normal thing now or the story was so absurd. Yeah. But they thought it was like, so my fiance, she emailed them and said, you know, my fiance thinks he's Batman, basically, essentially, in a huge email. And same day, they called back and said, we are very interested. Please tell us more.

Because you're really pretty. Yeah, exactly. Well, that's the thing about any television show, is you know, if they have you, you know how it is, they have you send photos, you know, if you're good looking, you have a higher chance of getting on. Sure.

Do you have her first email that she sent them? That would be fine. I might, but it was, it was pretty basic. I mean, you know, my fiancee can't stop being Batman. He wears Batman mask when he, when he fucks me and go to sleep. You know, hygiene, hygiene problems. Yeah, it's true. I had, I had fungus on my scalp from wearing the masks so much.

Yeah. I still have fungus. I still have fungus. You still have fungus. No, just do that fungus. Yeah, go ahead, Sean. Do you stop, you protect people and stop providing crime? Are you still fighting crime? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. No, man, I just play video games now, man. I just play video games and I mean, then go, I was doing what you guys do, a little podcast and do what we don't do with my money that way. Not you guys, but I mean, I would like to do the same thing on a smaller scale.

Yeah. Well, shit, do it on a larger scale. Show what was the, what was dealing with the producers like? Cause I got vetted by probably, I think I had like a main producer that followed me around and that hit me up in the first place and was trying to like Be in my corner and then I had more of devil's advocate producers who were trying to find like chinks and the armor and eyes Consider you a troll and not have you on dude. He has got. She's got Chinese grandparents

So that's the funny thing about the show right? Yeah, I don't know if you've noticed and I don't want to go on too long, but Dr. Fille has been really- No, go on very long, it's fascinating. I love it. Okay, yeah. Okay, so I don't know if you've noticed, but recently Dr. Fille has been posting on to social media every single day.

And by recently, I mean, to date yesterday, the day before, out of nowhere, he's been posting on Twitter, Instagram, like personal videos because before, arguably, you could say his social media manager is posting these things, which he was absolutely. But now you can see Dr. Phil is holding the phone, right? No, interesting, I didn't know that. And I think that has to do with maybe views being down. And the reason for that is because you can no longer do a Dr. Phil reaction video on YouTube

without it being claimed. Oh, okay. Did you know that? I didn't know that, no. Okay, yeah, so I have noticed an uptick in his social media shit. Dr. Phil, he's on kiss now and talking about his... So imagine that you keep tabs on that. I keep tabs on that fucker. Oh yeah. Cause I wanna clip to him media shit. Dr. Phil, he's on kiss now and talking about his money.

You keep tabs on that. I keep tabs on that fucker. Yeah. Cause I want to clip him and then get his ass in here. Right. Yeah. Sorry. I go a few months ago, my, or maybe a little bit more, my episode was taken down by PewDiePie. And I asked him, because me and him still keep in touch. I asked him, you know what happened? He was like, well, Dr. Phil claimed my video. So, you know, there's nothing like, and what that means is based for anybody

that's watching that doesn't know, you are no longer gaining ad revenue. Any ad revenue that you're getting goes to the owner of said clips. Yeah, so. So he took it down and he did that across YouTube. Now what happens when you do that across YouTube, no one's gonna make videos on your guests anymore.

And what happens with that is now you're gonna lower your views on your actual show. Yeah, you're finding out. Especially from that particular generation that watched this PewDiePie video. So we're talking about 10 year olds, 15 year olds, 20 year olds, 25 year olds, you know what I mean? Now you're back to 60 year olds watching your shit

in the hospital waiting room. And that's what I think. Dr. Phil, the last show you'll ever watch and then die. But man, I never even thought about that. If that is the last show I see, if I'm in like the hospital for getting roofied again, that is the last show I see, if I'm in the hospital for getting roofied again, that's the last show I see.

I'll be real disappointed. He will have gotten the last one out. So I don't think that, I mean, I know your show aired a long time ago and you know, coincidentally, this is funny because Dick, so your show, I don't know exactly what year, but I know it was at least 10 years to go, right? Oh, it was 2007. Yeah, 2007.

Wow. So your show was one of the first shows that I had ever seen. Really? Of Doctor, yeah. That's why your name rang a bell. That was the only reason when, I don't know who contacted me. But that was like, where do I know that name from? Oh, that's amazing.

I know this name. I know this name. I had never watched an episode of Doctor Phil before I was like, where do I know that name from? Like, I know this name. I know this name. I had never watched an episode of Dr. Phil before I was on there. Yeah, neither did I, except for the Dick Masterson show, Dick Masterson. And then the second one was, I watched Sexy Vegan before I went on, just because I heard it was a really good show, but I was basically not allowed to talk when I went on the show.

So it's totally different thing. What are the producers like? What did they hit you up with? Because this is a very elaborate story that you've concocted that you're pretending to be Batman. What kind of shit did they hit you with? I mean, this is a pretty big fuck up. Wouldn't you say Sean to let a guy be dead?

What is your backstory? Yeah. Yeah, that's, I want to know when you became Goose Wayne and Batman. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. The backstory is pretty simple. I just, I bought, I bought, I ordered the mask.

I started doing skits online. How many years ago? This was last year actually. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. And it just, I got really into the role and I wouldn't drop the role. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Sort of like, you know how method acting goes. I mean, to the extreme. I think the same thing happened in Heath Ledger, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So that's, I guess that's the backstory and, yeah, I mean. But what did they ask you?

What are the, what kind of stupid questions did they ask you? Like they asked me, shit, like, what are you afraid of? What's your biggest fear? Yeah. Same shit. Same exact shit. Did they ask you about fighting crime? Yeah, they asked me, what kind of crime do you fight?

And the good thing is I had it on video. So it wasn't a question of is this guy actually doing this stuff? I have it on video, you know, you have you fighting crime on video, the crime of boredom. Where is that? No, no, no. Where is it? Yeah, where is it? They had a little clip on one of the clips that they posted online.

It's me fighting this guy who tattooed his face as Joker. Yeah, he's out now, but I mean, the dude's legit. The dude is legit tattooed his whole face like Joker. That's shit like that's suicide squad Joker. That's a shitty joke. No, no, no, no, he tattooed himself like he flasher Joker. Not that it makes it any better. I mean, he stuck as that Joker now, but No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, maybe they were, I don't know, I honestly don't know. I don't know. What did your fiancee say about it?

Do they ask her, shit, what were they doing with her after she was a police officer? They separated us. Sure. They separated us from the beginning. Actually at the time that they were asking her stuff, she did not live with me. So I had no way of sitting in on their conversations. And yeah, so from from the beginning to the end, they separated us even during interviews and all that stuff. So I really don't know. That's why I when you when you called me earlier and asked asked me if I was ready, I was talking to my fiance because I was also asking her,

hey, if Dick asked you to sit in for a second to ask you a few questions because I was also asking her, hey, if Dick asked you to sit in for a second, to ask you a few questions because I figured it might come. Sure. Do you want to talk to the fiance? Yeah, absolutely. Sounds like the mastermind to be honest. My fiance is, uh, is, is amazing, man. Yeah. Okay.

Let's talk to her. Yeah. Well, let's see. Let's see if she'll talk to us. I see what I got to open the door, I think. This is the Oracle. I think we're being had, to be honest. You think so?

I don't know. I don't think he ever breaks character. She's coming. She's coming, okay. You're on the dick show. Sit down, sit down, honey. I'm the dressing show. No, they can't see you, honey.

I can't see you. Not dressed, so can't see you. I can't see you. Ha ha ha ha. Not dressed. Oh, wow. All right. Now we're talking. Just make sure that you get close to the mic. Wait, where are you going? I'm not using bathroom. He's got to go fight crime.

Are you sure they can't see you? They can't see you. No, we can't see you. But you can, if you describe yourself, that would help us imagine what you look like. We know what she looks like. Oh, yes, I'm sorry. This is the fiance of Batman. Yes.

Yes. What you've done is wonderful. Well, formerly Batman. Formerly Batman. You fixed him. Dr. Phil fixed him. I mean, I guess that's what you would call it, but yes. Okay.

Okay, what should we call you for starters? Uh, Kaelin is fine. Kaelin, okay. Kaelin, what drove you to do this? Because I love it. But what, what made you, um, what made you attack Dr. Phil in this way? Attack Dr. Phil. You mean, you mean, you mean my fiance? Is he? Yeah. Yeah, okay. I mean that. Uh-huh. Yeah. Um, I mean, I don't know.

He was just doing some bullshit. Um, I mean, anybody would get tired of their significant other acting like an Ask 24 7. So this is, he's really doing this as Batman? Not anymore, but yeah, he was, he was wearing the mask all day and fucking, buying ridiculous and expensive things just to fight crime. Just to, yeah, I guess that's what you want to call it. Okay.

Do you think he's sneaking out at night and doing this? Well, I wasn't living with him at the time, so who knows what he was doing. I mean, I go to bed at like, I don't know, nine or 10 o'clock in the eight. I mean, days up till six o'clock in the morning. Oh, no, not now. Now I know it's not the patio and drink spear and play video games. Lemons, the good old days. Is there a difference between fucking Batman and and Goose Wayne? Is it, did they fuck differently? I feel like I do. You know, I don't, I would say no. I mean, I was a little bit more disgusted by the, by the Batman,

just because he was a lot less hygiene happening there, but. Oh, I see. Okay. Yeah, that would be gross. Yeah. The cowl. Yeah, but I mean, other than that, you know, it's the same thing. Well, how was your time on Dr. Phil?

I'm gonna be here, I'm gonna suppose to. Okay, all right. Sorry, I guess it was interrupting me. Yeah. Dr. Phil was, it was okay. We had a great experience. Yeah. It's definitely not what you would think when you go on, obviously.

You don't get to hang out with Dr. Phil and talk to him beforehand. Well, that's why the women sued him, because they didn't, they wanted Dr. Phil FaceTime and they didn't get to hang out with Dr. Phil and talk to him beforehand. Well, that's why the women sued him because they didn't, they wanted Dr. Phil FaceTime and they didn't get it. That's what happened in my episodes anyway. Yeah, yeah. Is that what you wanted? Do you want to FaceTime with Dr. Phil? No, but it's just not what I expected. I didn't know what to expect, but I expected that like, you know, we would get to talk to Dr. Phil and, but it actually feel like meet him.

Yeah. No, I just kind of got walked down on stage and then Dr. Phil was yelling at me. So it's not like I would expect it at all. It's kind of, we, I felt like we kind of got gotchaed. Yeah. But you're just, you're just gasp. You're just fuel for the combine that he's running there. I mean, I could, I could see that, but I don't know,

because when we did the interviews with all the producers and everything, all I could tell them was like, I know that my fiance is not mentally ill. I would know if I was actually with a lunatic, because let's face it, all women kind of have been in their life. So I knew he wasn't actually nuts. I just thought he was being an ass. And of course we get to the show and they're like, well, you're mentally ill. And I was like, oh my god, like, why would you do this to us?

All men are men. Doesn't that show, doesn't that show like good commitment, you know, tendencies though? That's true. If you can commit to a bit, that size, you can commit to a marriage. I would think, right? What do you think? Well, I mean, I've known him for so long that, you know, it's kind of like when you meet someone and then, you know, 10 years later, they're like 200 pounds of her weight and you stay with them anyway, you know, it's, it's like, I don't know anything about that. And it would never happen. Five pounds out the door. Goose was saying that he had a large penis. Can you verify that? Is that true? Can confirm. You can confirm that. Okay.

Yeah, I can confirm that. Sean, do you have any questions for Batman's misses? No, no. Nothing comes to mind. I think it's great. I think what you did with Dr. Phil's great, you made him really look like an asshole. I appreciate it. He was kind of being an asshole, but you know, girls kind of like dudes that are an ass sometimes, so. Yeah.

Dr. Phil, I mean, is an asshole. Oh. Yeah. Oh, I don't really have an opinion on him in that way, just because I didn't get to have interaction with him. At the end of the day, it is a show. At the end of the day, it's a TV show. So, we didn't get to have any kind of, at the end of the show, he just literally just got

up out of his chair and walked away. Well, you really wanted to have an interaction with Dr. Phil. It sounds like, it sounds like this was all your plan to meet Dr. Phil. I mean, I'm, I sound like I'm a huge Dr. Phil fan, but if I flew out to California to go on to the Dr. Phil show, like to meet Dr. Phil, I know. What did you want to tell him? What did you want to ask him? No, I just wanted to explain, because it's hard to explain six months of like history of

an issue to somebody. Yeah. Not even to like Dr. Phil, just to like his producers and his staff, but then. But what's he going to say? What are you looking for from it? If you explain the whole thing, what are you looking for? I don't know.

I feel like it's just like hearsay at that point because all day I can say, hey, he's not mentally ill. I know he's just doing this to see what he can get away with. Maybe he doesn't actually want to be with me, but instead for them to be like, I. Dr. Phil. Is that what this is? Sean, I'm not asking Sean. I know.

What did you want him to say? You want him to give you like a magic word to stop the Batman shit? No, but I mean, maybe not so much like, I tell one person, one thing, producer tells the producer, producer tells the producer, and then they create a narrative for Dr. Phil. Do you know what I mean? Oh yeah, I'm familiar with that.

I'm familiar with that. I'm actually all help instead of working to send Batman to the ranch. Like, You wanted to actual help from a reality TV show? Yeah, I want something realistic, like, you know, some marriage counseling for him to go to some counseling or something like that. Not just marriage counseling is just beating the one who doesn't belong there into submission. Is that what you're looking for?

Well, he would probably say that like his marriage or his relationship's fine. You're the one with the problem. Yeah, you're the one that's doing you have a cat woman outfit you can throw on. Yeah, that's what brought Batman down. Fucking cat woman. Selena Kyle do some reading. Yeah, you've seen the literature. I mean, come on.

This is simple shit. Get a whip. I mean, I am a literal cat woman. I don't know if he's told you. Um, okay. I have many cats, so that didn't work. Okay, I have one last question before you go. Can you tell me when World War One was? World War One.

Yeah, I winded World War One take place. Roughly, roughly, it's throw it out. No wrong answers. I don't know. I just do shit. I don't know, was it the 40s, 1940s? Okay, when was World War II? I don't know, do you want me to just guess? Just, yeah, whatever you guess, what you know, just throw it out there.

We're brainstorming. Okay, no, no, no, no. World War I was like Hitler, so I'll take that back. Was Hitler around the 40s? I don't think he was. No, there's no lifelines. There's no asking a friend. You just got to throw it out. World War II. Okay. Okay. I think I'll change. I feel like I don't know when they're asked me about World War II. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no help, no help. No, they say he lives for today. He doesn't care about the past. Yeah. No, because he makes any much documentaries on this shit all the time.

We just want to help. You can't have help. You can't have help. I don't know. I'm not smart in world history and politics. We know that. There's a beer. Yeah, that's the year.

Okay. World War I, what I'm going to say was 1920s World War II, I'm going to say like mid 1940s, because of what yet, not was in the 60s, right? 1670s. Okay, yeah. When was the Civil War? Oh, the Civil War? 18.

Fucking Batman's helping. Yeah, I can tell. I feel shenanigans. He's looking, he's looking to be right here with the straight face. I'm calling shenanigans. 60s, 1870s. I'm calling shenanigans. He's like an he's like I'm calling me right now with a straight face. I'm calling shenanigans 60s 1870s. I'm calling shenanigans on that No, because because America was an 1886 and

That's when that that's what America that's a correct answer no shenanigans Okay, all right. I wish you kids the best of luck Thank you. Please thank Batman for calling in. Have you seen the Joker? I haven't. I don't think that's like my type of movie. You're correct. Okay. Thank you guys. Thank you guys. Get out. Tell them that you're liberal. No, I didn't tell them I'm liberal here. They're all done with me. They're right. She's a well. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,. All right, thank you, bye. Thank you, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. All right, what do you think, Sean? There's Batman.

Yeah, very interesting. Very interesting character. Yeah, interesting guy. You're measured reasonable? Pretty measured reasonable. It was fantastic, thank you Riley. Let's see if I got anything else here for today. I got some voicemails.

Mm-hmm. And I got a song. Oh yeah. People are putting together a mundane matte Christmas album based on various flubs and failures over the last couple weeks, over the last year. I think I'm looking forward to that. What could go wrong? What could go wrong indeed?

Here is, we'll play it out, we'll do some voicemails. But this has been a dig show everybody. dig.show some voice mail. This has been the Dix show everybody. Dix.show patreon.com slash the Dix show. See you next Tuesday. I think let's go with playguess. That guy makes good music. Yeah, the last time I saw Matt in person, I was like, I was like, just come on the show

and talk to Dick and he was like, I don't want him to have to perform. I want to talk to him without performing. Like, what are you talking about? Yeah, he was like, Dick's a pussy guy. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. After Black Fifth, I was going to have to see me perform with the whale, man.

You got me all wrong. I don't understand why, well, I don't get like... I don't understand why... Well, I don't know what Matt's a fucking afraid of. Like he seems to suck the joy out of everything. And then to go on and call me a pussy. And you think I'm a fucking pussy? Funny. If you put me in some kind of a self-defense situation,

you think I'm a fucking pussy? I will beat your ass so bad your kid will be calling me Dan. So when you're a fucking wife dude, who's the fucking pussy now? You talking shit behind my back. You won't even get on a stream with me. You block me. You giant fucking front all Pussy's too good for you. You fat sloppy second shit. You gin strap looking mother fucker Your flat top is a normal size flat top that looks tiny cuz your head is the size of a fucking watermelon mad You fucking you fall I'll take any day of the week you fucking Oh fuck you! That's so cool!

Wow! That man! Call me a pussy! I'm not even fucking there! What the hell are you doing, Matt? You blocking, dragging sack! I shit! These comments are no way to do this! You're fucking video without me!

You're so fucking video about my luck! You don't know anything about it! Hi, here we go. Here's your video with the go fucking video about my life. You don't know anything about it. Hi, Ah, here we go. Here's your video, what's the first fucking video? On every PR news, why are you sack a shit? When you're telling me I'm running a harassment campaign? Fuck you! Fuck you! Keep your fucking nose out of other people's business.

What do you know? You don't have any fucking idea what it's like. Wow. Run your fucking mouth, you get stung every time you fat sack a shit. You both are loading fuck fuck you. Wow run your fucking mouth you get stung every time you fat sack of shit you Bulls are loading fuck fuck you Fucking man Don't block, don't block me pussy Don't block me in front hole

Block me Don't grow, grow beard man Not that fucking duct tape you got wrapped under your, around your chin, Mr. Potato Head. Cuckling your head up. That's it. That's it. Wow. What show was that on?

That was on the Drunken Pes. Okay, it's what I thought. Matt called me a pussy. Yeah, I mean, why would you do that? I don't know. Why would you call someone a pussy who behaves in that way? I don't know. I don't know.

Seems like the wrong word. It's like the, yeah. So is you, Pat, this is the right word. Yes. Yeah, I don't know, man. The San Diego organ. Someone just started running, beating like kid on the quest. Okay.

I think you're a little bit wrong about returns. It's pretty good. But it's not quite like the other ones. and like and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and I feel like does one thing and there you go. No more favorite decoration. And then the, he's Andrew from Eugene, Oregon's asking why Leia can just get into job as shit because people leave their shit unlocked. That's why. Like a woman who went into that guy's apartment

and shot him. Yeah. You hear about that? The cop? Yeah, the cop. Yeah. I did. You know how The cop. Yeah, the cop. Yeah. I did. You know how that whole situation could have been avoided?

Lock your door. Oh, I never thought of that. I never thought of that one. All the whole media firestorm. I didn't hear one comment. People saying, Guy gets murdered by an off-duty police officer who has uh... race based rhetoric on her social media profiles you know what you should have locked his door

we all just take a moment to make sure our front doors are law i live in an apartment in a shitty area for seven years every fucking day came home click door locked that's it i think that's victim blaming fuck victims ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha fucking reason we have for some fucking reason we're so sick that we have a woman being a police officer in the first place and we're pretending like we don't need to lock our doors every goddamn day of the week

every second the door should be locked while you're opening it you stupid fuck fuck you let her out why what what do you mean she murdered a guy guy, his door was unlocked. Well, yeah, but that's murder. She's fucking you. She's gonna go around testing the stupid people in society. Yeah. Your door unlocked? Gonna have to go. Come on, I'm gonna have to fucking execute you.

Is this door unlocked? Well, yeah, I generally like to eat cereal with my door unlocked. That's kind of my lifestyle. My boxers. I like to sit around in my underpants, watching the television, eating cereal, and I also it's important to me to have my fucking door unlocked.

You know that person, you know you know a guy who doesn't lock his car and leaves it in the street and doesn't lock it and puts the keys in the visor on purpose because it's his fucking lifestyle. You know you know a guy like that. I think it's hoping I get stolen so he can get a better car. Yeah, every fucking person who lives just lives recklessly. Yeah, I don't lock my door. I mean, if you're gonna go man, you're gonna go.

If you get out of the fuck you, I could get killed today. Step off a curb, yeah. Fucking today, that's when you're getting killed by an off duty cop posting, posting, posting tough girl shit online Like she's out of the terminator reboot Congratulations today's your day Well, at least she'll be sent to prison nah let her out bucket fuck you fuck you for leaving your door unlocked I don't know why that's not headline local moron who left his door unlocked

Local idiot who left his door unlocked and was the victim of a crime tries to blame the criminal Send it dig him up take him out of the morgue put his ass in a cell as a lesson to all the other fucking morons Jesus Oh, yeah, but she's you know She's a cop though. we're standing here to jail. How the fuck in care? How does that help anybody? Refresh my memory.

Why did she go into his apartment? Because she got the floors mixed up. She went to the wrong floor. She went to the wrong floor, tried her key fob, went in, fucking doors unlocked. She was off duty. Yeah, right. If you're leaving your door unlocked,

get it home. Wait, how many other things are you up the floor up? What did she go up there to investigate? No, she lived there. No, I know she lived on the floor. She went into the guys apartment. Oh, what did she do? She went hers?

Yeah. She went into it. What's up, man? Sean, I've done that. I mean, everybody's pretending like this is so insane, but when I lived in an apartment building, was it like a multi-floor? Well, you lived in a midrise. I mean, like, you said it, but when I lived in an apartment building, was it like a multi-floor? Well, you lived in a mid-rise.

I mean, like, he's so- Yeah, so she, so yeah. Okay, so she got off in the wrong floor. Got it. Went to the wrong apartment. I mean, every single car I lived on was identical. No, I know. No, that can happen.

That can happen. The whole thing drives me insane. If you are the kind of person that accidentally left your door unlocked in an area where you could get murdered, how many other things are you fucking up? the kind of, if you are the kind of person that accidentally left your door unlocked. Remember the story. Remember the story. In an area where you could get murdered, how many other things are you fucking up? Was it the middle of the night? He was eating cereal, so who knows?

I've eaten cereal in the middle of the night. Give her a fucking award. Why did you kill that guy? He left his door unlocked. Oh, yeah. That's pretty obnoxious when people do that. One less, one less moron. Which is more reckless.

Mm-hmm. Would you rather have a society? Would you rather have a society of armed citizens or a society where people leave their doors unlocked basically inviting crime? You'd rather have the wreck, I'd rather have them. No, it's your launtly eating cereal. Well, what was your plan if somebody were to bust in and steal your television?

If it wasn't a mistake, I don't know, throw cereal at them. That's a stupid plan, dude. You just strapped them with cereal. That's why you're dead. It's not a bunch of cereal. Because your life was stupid and you are stupid. Well, yeah, but she posted all this race and stuff on Facebook and she was a cop. Well yeah, but she, she posted all this racist stuff on Facebook and she was a cop.

Well, what if she wasn't a cop? What if she was a criminal? Uh, I don't, same outcome. Well then it kinda doesn't fucking matter, does it, dude? Doesn't fucking matter, anyway. I guess I'm alone on it though. Probably. Which, let's just hang her.

Hang her. I don't think we should bring back public hangings. hanger drawn quarter her twirl her around throw her into the fucking ocean moron still left his fucking door unlocked yeah happening all over the country I fucking don't don't don't don't help people out don't help them out don't help them out trying to kill you they're armed they're going into the wrong, they're fucking up daily. Yeah. People are fucking up. Women are fucking up all day every day.

Don't help them out. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh, this guy got in my car, drove it into my house and killed my kid, ran straight into the nursery. Why'd you break the breakfast table in the other front window? Sit facing the door, man. Yeah. This is simple shit. If we want to have nice things, we straight to the nursery. Why don't you put your breakfast table near the front window? Sit facing the door, man. This is simple shit.

If we wanna have nice things, we have to be on guard all the time. Make your kids eat in the backyard. I like throwing marbles in cereal and a kid fucking choked on it. It's basically Lucky Charms is full because they make the box so inviting for me to blow it up with marbles. I like to keep my marbles in the same box,

in a lucky charm box, then right next to the other one. Some people eat cereal with their eyes closed. I'm not interested. I'm not interested. Yeah. Very dangerous. Am I insane? Yes. I'm at the warlord. Right. What if someone like me, Archie, she goes like brew more root beer instead of shooting that? Yeah

Lightsaber off What are going to bring me back to life? Tell me bring me back to life and explain to me how I got killed how you got killed Yeah, yeah, you left your door unlocked. Yeah. Oh damn Damn it. Yeah, that's my bad damn it. That's my bad Yeah, the woman who did it. Yeah, that's my bad. Damn it, that's my bad. Yeah, about the woman who did it. I mean, she's nuts.

I mean, I would do the same thing. If I walked into my place, saw someone with my place. I saw it with my cereal. You're fucking dead. Yeah, eating my fucking cereal with my marbles, this better not be my marbles, you're eating my cereal.

Mm-mm. It was a furlough, I can't. It was not a very good plan. Lock you doing it. Well, they're chasing the speeder bikes through the forest and move just jumps off his and this is just crossing the storm trip. The whole point of chasing the storm super down are the bikes that are going to get to the base in time to inform everyone that they set off the alarm and check's a revel over there, right? Right after fucking wire comes off and luckily you know the guy who shoots

playoff has like just explodes after he wins. Just explore it. Congratulations. Good luck. There's another guy. He decides to not do with the entire purpose of the mission was to turn around and shoot and look. And why am I talking about this? It's a stupid movie. It's like that you walk. It's not a reason why it's that, because it's dumb. You can start to see the cracks in the facade of George Lucas.

I don't think so. I think last Jedi was a great movie. Return of the Jedi? Yeah, return of the Jedi. New movies are so stupid. It's one of that respect anybody who enjoys those movies. It's one of the first movies I can remember seeing in the theater. Oh yeah.

Yeah. The third one? Yeah, the third one. Yeah, about the third one. I mean, I liked it as a kid. I liked it as a kid. I didn't have much point of reference, but I remember seeing ET in the theater too. I was really young, but.

I saw Benji. I think that was my first movie. I saw Benji, the journey home or something like that. Yeah, I think you would have been, right, right. And he fucks the woman that owns him. Benji? Yeah, Benji. That's cool.

Good movie. I caught him licking an ass. What was Gooseweins deal? I don't know. I mean, as a, ha ha ha ha. All right. Here we go. I just don't see how that, I don't see why you go to jail

for going into the wrong house of some motherfucker who leaves his door unlocked. Hmm. Like, what am I supposed to do? This is a very aberrant behavior. I think it was the shooting part that got her in trouble. So no fuck ups. Yeah.

Oh yeah, you know, yeah. I mean, you think that's your house. Yeah, you think that's your fucking, oh, am I my house? Fuck this motherfucker's eating my cereal. Fuck you. Bop, bop, bop, bop. Yeah.

Maybe he got the prize. I didn't slave away all of a sudden, clipping coupons to save on that cereal so that you could just eat it. That was my horror. That's my fucking cereal. Fuck you. Yeah. How can you be pro second amendment?

And anti-serial. I mean, look, if everybody's armed, there's gonna be a lot of that, right? You're not entertained. That's the whole point of everybody of women packing, especially women packing. That's everybody's response to women saying men are dangerous, men are all rapists, blah, blah, blah, bitch, you should be packing. What do you think's going to happen then?

Bitch is going to be shooting fucking, they'll be like a shooting gallery. They'll be popping that off all the fucking time You don't know how hard it is for me not to make the corneous jokes of all time I mean I can't even say it. I'm gonna refrain. What is it say it now? Well, it just you know See otherwise I'll be like this guy. Yeah, you didn't get his thing. Yeah, that's okay. I'm okay with that God damn it. All right Oh man, I'll tell you dick some guys will fucking believe anything Those talk to some co-workers last night. We had some going away party for someone and Not one but two guys I talked to

Not one, but two guys I talked to were worried in some capacity about there being a shooting out one of the Joker movies. Oh yeah, there was a bunch. And I'm sure. One of them I pressed a little bit on it and got a little embarrassed about it. It's like you actually fucking think someone's gonna go shoot up a theater. Like how many times has that happened in history? It was like the slowest. You guys were like, oh yeah, the other bad thing.

We got to shoot like someone shooting up at the bottom. One time, it won't play suddenly everything on the table, right? Like what the fuck? It was so artsy. I really think people got tricked into seeing a good movie. Yeah. Like it was, if that's what it takes to get people

to go support actually good movies, then let's have a shooting every week. Wow. And then I learned from one of them that one of the theaters in the area is actually not showing the movie at all because of afraid someone is going to come and shoot the fucking play. Yeah.

I don't understand the mindset there. I don't understand why people fucking think Internet. I brought some guns about fucking the real life shit. In case there was a shooting. It's not even weird to me that people. So then I would bust it out. I'm with this. And say I'm doing a shooting too. I don't know if they're just bored and they want it to happen or if they actually believe it. Oh, I think a lot of people actually believe it.

The fuck yourself. Well, they want it. I think they want it to happen. So they can say, see, like that kind of thing? Just like anything. Yeah, let's do something happen. Like something happened to keep me entertained, you know? Can we have another 9-11, please? You're really going for it today, definitely. I don't want that.

Right. I want nothing to happen. Yeah. Nothing. You don't want everybody to lock their doors. You don't like being bored. I can live in the fantasy of my imagination. Oh, okay.

The new cycle is extremely tedious to me. The gun week. Oh no, it ain't a week. Yeah, it's just over and over and over. Yeah, it is. It is. I want aliens to land and- That'd be near Mormons.

Oh boy. And there isloms. Wouldn't that be so disappointing? It was about everybody we're here just waiting. No, the Mormons. See, I like the Mormons want- You like the Mormon one better? Yeah, because it's just like, yeah, be like,

oh, they're really polite. Fuck. Yeah. I mean, when we do have first contact with aliens, they're gonna have a bunch of stupid religious beliefs that we'll have to talk, learn about, and talk about. How can I be so? How fucking annoying leppy.

Oh great, a bunch of guys with their own dumb ideas. Yeah. That's what aliens will be. If I met an alien, I would jump as a site. Right. Oh, shit, I walked into the wrong planet. Shit, I thought it was my planet and I fucking shot that guy. Should've locked your planet, dude. You've seen space balls. I mean, if you got shot, if you were in that

situation, a woman walked into your apartment or your house and shot you and didn't kill you. And she thought she was in the wrong house. What would you think? She thought she was in the right house. She thought she was in the right house. What would I think? Yeah, what would your reaction be? Would you think, fuck, and I should unlock the door. I mean, maybe if you left it open. If your car got stolen and you had left it open, what would you think?

I would think I shouldn't have done that. God, that was dumb, yeah. Yeah, that was dumb. Exactly. Okay, the home school kid, I don't know how to summarize. I don't know how to talk to this summarization class. Hang up like I, if it's not apparent, uh, like I don't know how to summarize it. I don't know how to keep it short. None of that.

So, um, but, But, yeah, so I basically just, I was fortunate enough to not be too sheltered, but to also have, like, and to be raised with, like, a good head on my shoulders. But I was kind of sheltered at the same time because homeschool communities do have those cultish like church-farm people. You know, like, you go, you try and, you know, my mom was a live ex-liberal feminist and my dad was the next bad cat. He's a homeschooled guy. I don't think he's helping. You know, they just all ended up conversing on like Protestant evangelical Christianity. Are they settled on? They're compromised.

Yeah. And then everybody in like a homeschool community would be more conservative than that. Yeah. But they would all be very cookey kind of conservative. None of us seem very consistent. So but because my parents were kind of, you know, kind of been through reality enough they kind of Sheldon you from that, you know and still a bit of the common sense stuff. I mean so I

Guess it really does feel like looking on the outside and then looking in and then because of where I am and like where my dad clawed his way into, which was from middle class or working class in the mid-west and then marrying, you know, like a long way from my dad. This goes, he goes on quite for a couple of hours. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I take back everything I said about homeschoolers. Oh, well, can't let, you know,

can let R.E. do that. Should probably, yeah, should probably talk to a few more maybe and see. All right, here we go. Last one one more. All right. I'm very annoyed by that locking the door thing. Just say it.

Just put it right at the top and the editor's node. He didn't lock the door. No off. These are her Facebook. Wonder how quick she shot. I saw hold on ice. Okay, this door. No off. These are her Facebook. Wonder how quick she shot. I saw hold on. I, okay, this also pissed me off. I read an article where the mom of the guy who was killed had the audacity to say if

her police training didn't tell her to aim for the heart, then he would still be alive. You know, suggesting that police should be trained to shoot at their fucking arms or something like this. And I thought, yeah, oh, so shoot out the tires. Shoot out his tires. She should have shot out his feet.

Yeah. She should have shot for his spoon and his cereal. Woo, woo, woo. Oh, that was your, that's your statement on what happened is that you're upset to shot for his spoon and his cereal. Wew, wew. Oh, that was your, that's your statement on what happened is that you're upset that the police are trained to kill, to shoot, to kill, and that that's what needs to change. The police need to change. Racism needs to be fixed. Yeah.

Women shouldn't be going around talking shit on Facebook and the police should be trained on trick shooting when they're in crime situation. But your son shouldn't lock his fucking door. That's the, that's the thinking. Fuck you. But that's just one man's opinion. She's going to jail though.

Yeah. Maybe the police can work on shooting cereal out of your hands instead. Hey, here's a new training, the spoon. Yeah. Get a fucking grip with this. Like, why is it even news? Oh yeah, this bitch walked in the wrong house and killed the guy. Well, I mean, I think it's newsworthy.

Is it what? Sure. What about it is newsworthy that she was white? The event, no, that the event happened. Color shouldn't, you know, that's when it, when, you know, you can stop short of politicizing or editorializing it, just report what happened, report the facts. I'm good with knowing that. Got it local moron didn't lock his door.

Something bad happened. I think that with knowing that. Got it local moron didn't lock his door. Something bad happened. I think that's the news. Well, you actually can learn that from that story. Yeah. Right. You should be. Because it's like, well, how did she get in? You know, how did she, you know, because if the door was locked, her key would not have

worked. Yeah. So, you know, that's part of the story. Key fob too, so she was silent. Yeah. Bloop. Yeah. And then she found out it wasn't locked. Okay. One more. Hey, Dick and Sean. Hey, what's up? Nelson from Wisconsin here. Currently on the road down on poor like crazy right now right now Hmm making me a rage. Thanks dad don't turn their damn lights on But it's 2019 you stop a car with automatic light and two I don't trust this really a down pole right now I can't see more than a quarter of a mile it's less and your lights are even on yeah run lights

Feel like any of that garbage turn them on not that much and why aren't you just turning your life on in general anyway not on the ground stealth mode and on leave them on so much better not that i'm concerned about my safety but it just hit me off that don't know why

this guy's fucking mortis the safety toward a circle on your beautiful human specimen. Thank you, sir. I hate turning lights on. I like to wait if I'm driving in twilight. I like to wait until it's almost pitch black before I turn those shits on. Yeah. And if they're you're in one of those areas.

Why do you like that? Because so you can do stealthy things. Yeah. Aren't you concerned about, aren't you concerned about like, what if somebody kills you and you're like, he didn't turn his lights on. Well, he shouldn't turn his lights on. That drunk driver, I mean, he just weeded out the stupid guy in society.

For sometimes they hone in, they hone in on lights. I feel like, yeah, that's, first of all, lights are dangerous. Like the seat belts, lights are dangerous. People will see lights coming and they're attracted to it. They'll look at it. Like a moth. Yeah. Everybody becomes moths when they get too drunk. Yes. And they're very judgmental. They also want to see that you have the appropriate level of lights on. You don't have your bright sun. If you have bulbs or two bright, everyone is a real prick about. There's a halogen lights or yeah. Yeah.

Secondly, do you have a, your mirror probably auto dims, right? Your rear view? I learned about, no, I don't think so. I learned about that. I thought everything. I've been driving around my whole life not knowing that you could dim your mirror. Oh, shit. No, I thought, well, I mean, a lot of cars have come for at least 10 years with auto dimming mirrors.

They react to light. Oh, really? It's a puzzle of little flip ones that I definitely haven't had that. Wow. Yeah. Except for driving very old technology around. But you have new technology. Yeah. I think it still has that little flick though. Also, I feel like being face down with the lights is kind of an annoyance to other drivers.

Wait, what? Face down. If you're driving around and you see lights, they're abrasive. Yeah. No one likes lights in their face, so I like to wait till the very last moment. Oh, so you're being considerate? I'm being considerate. Yes. Okay. That's why I don't like to turn my life very last moment. Oh, so you're being considerate. I'm being considerate. Yes.

Okay. That's why I don't like to turn my life on you. Right. And you're willing to put your own life ahead of others. I could move out of the way. Selfless. Yeah. I'll move out of the way.

Okay. I mean, that's the risk. You take on that risk when you're doing things, when you're behaving weirdly. Yeah. But still, you know, maybe that guy didn't lock his door. He's like, I have people come over. I just want to say, hey, yeah, come on in, door's unlocked.

Yeah, but then you're ready for somebody just, he just want to put his coming in. Serial down on the table to answer the door and risk soggyness. Yeah, that's the real crime. Then you go start over. Saga serial. Oh, the worst. Can you believe that?

I mean, if my mom, if I got shot in that situation, my mom came out and said, how many times have I told you? It's cops shouldn't come out and cops shouldn't be shooting for the heart. They should be shooting at like your hands, like a Bruce Lee movie. Well, that's a fucker.

Yeah, it's not a, what do you, it's not a thing. It's not a real thing. What you're saying is ass enough. Yeah. What you're saying is the stupidest thing I've, I don't care about the grief. What you're saying is stupid. Okay. One more.

Okay. Hey, Dave, hey, Sean. This is Eric from New Hampshire. And I'm calling from about that mouth-breeding mongolay to call them last week about the whole being liable for suicide. What the fuck am I going to do? You live in New Hampshire, right? You drive in New Hampshire, right? Well, if you see the model on the license plate it says live

for your die. Are you fucking moron? What? So because this bitch fucking sense I'm autistic baby and message and he actually killed himself she should go to jail for the rest of her life. The fuck is wrong you. Yo I know you from Boryskin but get the fuck out of here you man. Well you're fucking ruining the freedom for everybody else. Yeah you are. I wanted to call in about what makes me rage this week. Okay. I feel like I said my name is Ferris, right? Mm-hmm.

So I'm going to go up and introduce myself to someone. They're like, hey, what's up on country make fuck this, right? I'm like, oh, you know what's up? My name's Ferris. Oh, you mean like Ferris, Guler, Ferris Guler is there. Ferris Guler is there. Oh, Ferris Guler is there. Here we go.

Yeah. You have to fucking make everything a pop culture reference. Yeah, you were fucking moron. I'm gonna go up here and be like, Hey, what's up, Joe? Oh, you mean like, Joseph Stone? Or I fucking love that guy. He's so awesome.

And you know, like after Joe Campbell. Yeah. Ferris. I know, yeah. It's, you know, it's not like a, it's not like a super common name, but like, you know, we've heard it before. Just say a different name then.

Yeah, I think that's such a big problem with it. Right. What's your name? Hitler. Yeah. Oh, okay. Go ahead, say you love Hitler, say it. Say it.

Say you love Hitler. Say you know you want to. I know you want to. And then Batman comes in and stops him from saying it. It's terrible. Can you believe those guys were? What a crappy joke. Yeah.

It was a real, that guy really wasted an opportunity to be a hero. Probably thousands of people's time. Dude, 1.5 million. Oh. So 1.5 million. That's like a fucking, that's like a joke genocide. Yeah, he should be killed.

Yeah. Probably, I mean, that was yesterday. Way more people have watched it by now. Jesus. What was I gonna say? I don't know. The worst part about it is that the people who thought it was funny were pleasure by that.

That's the worst because their standards are low and that those people were gratified, got something that makes them happy. That's the worst part. I could take me not getting what I wanted, which was him just saying the N word and all kinds of people of all races, wanting him to just say it. It's funny.

It's stupid. But the worst part is that when he did the his dumb skit, they go, oh, that is so clever. Yeah. That's the worst part. That's the part that sinks in and makes you insane. That's the part that you'll never get over. I'll never get over. You'll never get over that.

Yeah. How could you? It's just too big. All right, everyone. See you next Tuesday. You never get over that. Yeah. How could you? It's just too big. All right, everyone. See you next Tuesday.