The Dick Show - Episode 179 - Dick on Breaking the Bank

Episode Date: November 5, 2019

The banks shut me down, another warning from Patreon, QR codes, lesbian art shows, how to party during Daylight Savings Time, the limits of what is not gay, FWB contracts, how to have anal, John McAfee calls in about getting arrested, shooting guns, whales, and his new crypto exchange, Veronica LaVery is in-studio, emojis are replaced by pod Ellens, more stories from the front of the Alphabet War, and Shirley from Dr. Phil Calls in to talk about her lawsuit the deleted the tapes--which are now recovered; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

How do we do it? I don't know. Every week. Do we do it? Ha ha ha ha. We do something. We do something. Ha ha ha.

It's the guys going, ha ha cast. That's my new podcast venture that I'm starting. Yeah. 40 year old guy's going, ha ha ha ha. You read the news and go, ah, you read somebody's tweets. I go, ah, so I don't read tweets. You shouldn't read tweets. You're right for not reading tweets.

I know. I don't think it messes with people's brains though. I want to get Aiden Paladin on to talk about that. I read some article proving what I'm saying that social media is not fucking, it's not fucking up people's brains like everyone says. And all the science doesn is not fucking, it's not fucking up people's brains, like everyone says. And all the science doesn't account for, it's all self-reported, doesn't account for what they're doing or looking at.

It's just, I don't know about fucking people's brains up. I think it fucks up your anxiety levels. Yeah, I can, and that kind of stuff. I find that very hard to buy. Why? Yeah, I can and that kind of stuff. I find that very hard to buy. Why? Because it is more people.

It's just more of doing something that you're supposed to do, that you're supposed to be built to do. And at the same time, there's a ton of other factors that you're not supposed to be doing. Your body's not involved to do. What do you mean built more people doing what they're supposed to do? Interacting with people. Yeah, sure.

Supposed to, you're built to interact with people. But don't you think, don't you think that the separation causes more severe behavior or leads to more severe behavior or tweets, you know, it's not behavior. It's words. No, no, no, no, it's the attitude that you come with. It's the attitude that you come with. You know that being on the phone with someone

is different than being in person with someone. It's different than being behind a keyboard with someone. Yeah, I think that's, that's all true, but I don't think it's messing up. People's moods or brains. I don't think it's causing any of these things. I think it's messing up people's moods. I think it's doing all that.

I don't know about brains. Ah! See, we're in person and you've interrogated me to disagree. I don't know about brains. See, we're in person and you've interiated me to this to great. I don't know about brains. I just see how people, I just listen to people who go, I took, I'm not on social media. Yeah, it's so much more content. Well, but that's true for even interacting with people.

Like, if you have a high stakes job and you are interacting with people all the time, you're like, oh, I need a break to get away from all these people. It depends. Yeah. Like, my job, I like it. Like, I'm the happiest when I am at work

because the people that I interact with, I really enjoy. Did they know that? Yeah. It's a cut out of your pay. I know. You love your work family so much. I know. No, I mean, the clients, everybody,

there's, you have come across, in my area of entertainment, you come across very, very few unpleasant people. It's not like that in any other aspect of entertainment. How many pedophiles do you come across in your part of entertainment? 50, 50, 50 percent. Look to your left, look to your right,

you're the pedophile. No, I know of, but I, but I have heard safe answer. No, but I have heard other people talk about really, really famous actors who are pedophiles. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Name them all. Oh, no, I'm not going to name it. Here we go. No, but like very, very big actors who are like the half of a bomb to drop. You're just not, who are the champions of causes? Like you're not gonna say you're gonna protect the petafiles. No, I can't do it.

There's no way I can. Oh, money is more important than children's butthole. Because it's just, it's just hearsay. It's just hearsay. I don't, I don't know at first hand. I trust, I trust the threat. I trust the source. Did the source of kid and they got molested?

No. Oh. Did they do the molesting? No. It's just hearsay then. Yeah. Protect yourself. Yeah, here we go.

Speaking of protecting yourself. Yeah. Let's start this show. Okay. The outlaw show. I don't know how it happened. Outlaw. I don't know how they found me. They, I don't know how they found me.

They found me. Run for it Marty! Yeah! Yeah! Welcome to Dick! You want Dicky, Dicky, Dicky, Dicky, you get out of this! That's the show where things are conscious. Come to your life, I'm a mountain bunker deep in the heart of the city.

You're right, I'm your host Dick master's an aka the twenty million dollar man Recently voted America's worst Mexican 26 weeks running joining me as always is world touring LA based comedian show on the audio engineer Hello dick. Hey, what's up, buddy? Perfect. Bam nailed it. Britt did shit. Good. Yeah forever. Yeah. Yeah Perfect. I'm charged up them amped up because I got PNG from the financial system I'm a fucking up, because I got PNGed from the financial set, I'm a fucking outlaw now, Sean. We're one hour into the field, Jared, I'm a fucking outlaw. I'm done. I'm done with all time zones.

I'm in my own fucking time from now on. You know, I stopped doing daylight savings time either way, three years ago. I only skipped forward now. So I was just skipping. Oh, yeah, I don't do the, I don't go spring forward. I only fall back. Yeah. So everybody sets their clocks. Well, no, it brings, it's spring, spring forward. You set the clock. You lose an hour. Yep. I don't do that. Right. I only do the fall, fall back to give myself an hour. Oh, so you just keep turning hours. It's four o'clock. I'm so wait. What's

I, well, no, so it'd be like eight o'clock for you if it's over. Yeah, right? Yes, it's eight in the morning. That's why I'm so pissed off. It's coming in the morning for me. It's so well. You know what, daylight savings time really means though, when you're fucked in spring, you get a heart attack. It's instant heart attack, you get more accidents, more, yeah.

They don't even give trains time to recover. They just have to go faster to try and make it up. If it, if it, rock it, that's right. That's right, if it, if it happens, because what do they say, two a.m. or something like that?. If it, rock it. That's really faster, right? If it happens, because what do they say, 2am or something like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So yeah, all of a sudden, Jesus Christ, man. And in the fall, why don't we fucking keep doing this? In the fall, you think you get an hour, right? Yeah. But I'll tell you what that means.

It means that when two o'clock rolls around and it's one o'clock again, you're like, oh, shit, I still got time for five more drinks. That's it. That's totally true. It's it. That's totally true. It's 10, 30 already. Yeah, that's impossible.

You haven't been sleeping enough as it is, people in general, and then all of a sudden, you're like, oh, look at this, a free bonus. There are no repercussions on this. I'm pretty sure that's a mistake. We forgot. Did Alexa remember to do the fallback thing? I bet she didn't.

I don't know. I'm so, I'm pissed, I've been pissed all week. What a roller coaster this week. Okay, yeah. I gotta fill my fucking roller coaster. The Dr. Little Vell tapes are out. Yes. The Dr. Phil tapes are free, my god almighty, they are free at last.

That was the first big drop for enjoyment. For the roller coaster. Skyrocketing levels. Skyrocketing levels of serotonin. I saw a suicide out on a bus and I said, ha, not a chance in hell, buddy. Not today. Not today.

This is not the day you do this. I don't even, I don't, that isn't happy for both of us. Suicide on a bus? Ha, I laugh at you. That message has never meant anything to me. I don't feel anything. Who is this ad? What demo is this ad targeted toward? has never meant anything to me. I don't feel anything. Who is this ad? What demo is this ad targeted toward?

I see it's not me. I saw a suicide ad on a bus. I saw a suicide ad on a bus that said, here today, here tomorrow. And I thought, what the fuck that expression up? I need to find the person who made this ad, whatever mad men, fifth avenue, mad, mad fifth avenue, Madison Avenue motherfucker,

who came up with this ad and punched them in the face. Here today, here tomorrow. Here tomorrow. And nothing the pithy's mark of a New Yorker cartoon has always talked to somebody off the ledge. I'm gonna jump, somebody give this man a New Yorker cartoon. So relatable.

Here today, here tomorrow. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. It's all those things that people pretend to laugh at because they pretend to understand it. If I, if I was going to kill myself and I saw here today, here tomorrow, definitely, I would do it in a worse way. And I would take that entire bus with me. It's like, oh, well, you got it.

Park the car, get on the bus, going right down the pier, motivation, take it you got it. Park the car. Get on the bus. Going right down the pier, motivation. Take it. See everybody. You think you fucking know me, Don? Here today, tomorrow. No, no, no, no, no. You've taken something from me and I can't get it fun. What restaurant you're eating dinner in and crash the car through it? The doctor Phil tapes are out. Now, where do they come from? Well, I, I mean, purely conjecture. I don't, I know you don't know. Somebody emailed me and said, I did it and I sent him a thousand bucks. No questions asked. Wow. I don't even know. I have no idea what to do. I believe they were, I honestly believe that they were, that they were found in a fortified media vault in northern Europe. This is, this is, wow.

This is how far this quest for my holy breath archive. This is like, I mean, this is my own water world. Yeah. This is like we found it tattooed on a little girl's back. Yeah. And we traced it down to the media vault. That sounds wrong.

And say, no, it sounds gross. I'm the pedophile that you were talking about earlier. That movie, that movie is not as bad as everybody says by the way. It's great. It totally is. Great movie. Yeah. Hoppers, great. The whole thing, we're glean like a fish. Everyone went home and tried to swim like that in their pool. Yeah. Like a merman. I tried to go home and grow gills. Did you really? Yeah, I figured I could swim like that. Where'd you try and grow them? I skipped right to it. Right, you know, right where they

grew right there. Yeah. I would grow them on my feet. I would you try and grow them? I skipped right there. Right, you know, right where they grew right there. Yeah. I would grow them on my feet. I would, you could just walk in the water. Yeah, normal. Yeah. That's pretty good. So the Dr. Phil tapes are out and I was going to read something about them. The Dr. Phil tapes are out.

I contacted Shirley. She might be calling in today. Who's Shirley? I'll leave the manhater from the show. The one who you guessed the age of. Yes. I feel so bad about all the mean things I said about that. Did you make her cry? I don't know.

I hope not. Yeah. She might be calling in. Ralph, Ethan Ralph from the Ralph Retort is coming on Wednesday. He'll be staying in my house for a week, gathering private information with which he will screw me over and betray me with by announcing on a show. I assume. Oh boy.

I don't know. Okay. I made up for I assume. Oh boy. That's not okay. You just need to meet up for some people now. Yeah. He's coming over. I think we're going to do a viewing party on Wednesday or Thursday. We're going to get all the bad guys together. Okay. We're going to watch all the Dr. Phil tapes.

We're going to bullshit. It's going to be, it's going to be a marathon. It'll take three hours to get to the mall. I don't want to break it up though. You don't want to break it up. You don't want to break it up. You just have to climb acting. We just got to power through the mall.

We'll do one grand dictation. Maybe that will be the bonus episode for Nover. Maybe we'll just break it up though. You don't want to break it up. You don't want to break it up. You don't want to break it up. You don't want to break it up. You don't want to break it up. You don't want to break it up. You don't want to break it up. You don't want to break it up. You don't want to break it up. You don't want to break it up. You don't want to break it up. You don't want to break it up, though. You don't want to break it up, though. You don't want to break it up, though. You don't want to break it up, though. You don't want to break it up, though. You don't want to break it up, though. You don't want to break it up, though. You don't want to break it up, though. You don't want to break it up, though. You don't want to break it up, though. You don't want to break it up, though. You don't want to break it up, though. You don't want to break it up, though. You don't want to break it up, though. You don't want to break it up, though. You don't want to break it up, though. You don't want to break it up, though. You don't want to break it up, though. You don't want to break it up, though. You don't want to break it, though. You don't want to break it, though. You don't want to break it, though. You don't want to break it, though. You don't want to break it, though. It's still out there on mega there ever. Well, that's the thing. Yeah, you know, now that they're out there. And as soon as one gets out, they all start coming out. Yeah, no, good luck taking those down. It just isn't going to happen. Oh, man. But more to business, I have been 86th from a significant portion of the financial system.

Yeah. My. Sixth, from a significant portion of the financial system. Yeah. My, I woke up after a nice, a nice Halloween night of walking around West Hollywood, ogling cans with my girlfriend. Did you go to the West? That's a shit show, man. Yeah, oh yeah. It's pretty amazing.

I've done it. Well, Veronica Leveri's here, Veronica's in town. So, you know, we wanted to, uh, the whole experience. We wanted the whole LA experience. That is. We can, let you know, we wanted to, the whole experience. The whole LA experience. That is. Let's see what we can do. Let's see what kind of wow, and zazz, and razzmatazz,

we can put in your visit. Here's a picture of me and Veronica and Halloween. Let me pull this up Sean. Just so, just because the picture is such a testament to my respect towards women. Let me show you. Well, you went indie. Yeah, because 80s girls are a lot of craft. So I, I, I, I very eagerly

went into my nerd shed and instantly had all of the dress, all of the materials you need for an Indiana Jones costume that I've been waiting to. You still have a way out. You've got a whip. Yes, you can see it right there. It's right there. Oh, you know, I'm just no big deal. I also know how to use the whip. I don't know if you want to see anything. Yeah, I remember this. I remember this the first time around. This was I submitted this is a caption contest. This is Veronica and there's a cat burglar. I think stealing hearts all around this. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, but I would like to this was a this was a a a definitely shot. You'd have trouble fitting through like air shafts and stuff.

Sean, why would you say that? Because, because she's secular. Because she's statuesque. Oh, yes. Because of her height. She's quite tall. Yeah. You can't fit around those. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't remember their name, I'll have to get it, but it was these belong in a museum. That was the winning caption content. That's fucking hilarious. I gotta find who said that.

But look at my eyes. That's so good. Look at my respect. Look at my unbridled eye contact directly with her eyes. While I'm speaking, I defy anyone to demonstrate that much respect towards women. While you're saying my dick gets this big. This tall.

Yeah. It's like, yep, you make the height requirement. I said, I'm a huge, I'm a huge penis. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How big about this?

Yeah. Okay. So I had a nice, I was all jazzed up after a nice night of walking around Ogglingcans. Hmm. And Halloween and then I wake up to a little message arena from the secured secret messaging system that Chase Bank uses saying, uh, you're done, though, man, your accounts gone. Halloween and then I wake up to a little message arena from the secured secret messaging system that Chase Bank uses saying, you're done, so man, your account's gone. Your merchant account is no longer effective today.

Your merchant account will no longer be valid with us. And your merchant account meaning credit card processing for new project to done gone, done, so all the 1000 users you have on there, which let me tell you something about the number 1000 users you have on there, which, let me tell you something about the number 1000 users. If you have 1000 customers, fans, supporters, anything, you can live on that. You must be in a tenths of a percent of anybody who does this type of thing. Of course. And they weren't all mine. It was next. It was self-suffer. It was a hard men working hard. It was everybody was just starting to pick up some momentum.

Bam, cut right at the, right at the fucking knees. Mm-hmm. Knee capped, right across the tendons, I don't know. I don't know how strong. I'm strong. Latin Jehovah starts with an eye, ground falling out from under me, that sort of a fuckover. Yeah. Um, Jay.

And I went, I instantly apoplectic, you gotta be fucking kidding me. Yeah. Um, Jay. And I went, I instantly apoplectic. You got to be fucking kidding me. Yeah. You've got to be fucking kidding me. Yeah. You got to be fucking kidding me. Mortgage mortgage payment goes through because they'll still take my money, but they will not be a party to how I make the money. Yeah. Um, and it all hit at one, so I call them up instantly. What's going on? What do you mean? What do you mean it's no good here? Who the fuck is this?

I'm talking to, and I start to, who picks up the phone, of course, but someone who sounds like they've got a, someone who sounds like, someone who sounds like they wouldn't have made it on, are you smarter than a fifth grader? Yeah. Right? Another show would be better for them will they definitely start you at the very bottom i would think uh... the at the for the short bus version of our you smarter than a fifth grade somebody making minimum wage federal

minimum wage who we have to pay their to work there because i think i said computer assign would do a better job would be more effective at their job than them which is every most ninety nine% of the people you deal with this is in this world can be replaced by a fucking sign. So you don't, because you have a merchant account, you don't get to skip to like a little higher class of customer service. Oh no, that's it. You get, there is the customer service is an illusion.

I know. That is a, that is a nipple massage to hope that you don't go around blasting. That is a nipple massage to keep the mob, that could, the insipient mob that I wish would build any moment and rip the fed down by its hair. That is the nipple massage, the customer service is there to prevent that from happening. So cheap gilded cage that they keep these morons in,

who should just be out hammering rocks all day. the customer service is there to prevent that from happening. So cheap, gilded cage that they keep these morons in, who should just be out hammering rocks all day. I say, what do you mean? What's going on with my account? Why is it canceled? What did I do? Right, and he goes, well, it's section 6.3G of your contract.

And I said, what's that? And he goes, I don't know. It's just coming up with that. That's what my computer's telling me. Well, what else can you pull it up? What else is it, and he goes, oh, actually, I see a note here that Discover card told us to do it.

Nobody takes discover. And I said, you gotta be fucking kidding me. You mean the card that only my mom uses has a problem with me? That's where Discover card, more people use Bitcoin than use Discover Card. Are you fucking kidding me? The joke has always been, nobody takes Discover.

No one uses it. No, this is the soccer mom card. Have Discoverer for, I don't know what reason why. Maybe perhaps William Reiker was a spokesman for Discover during a commercial in the late 80s, early 90s There's a mid 90s. I don't know why the demographic I don't know why the demographic for Discover cards is menopausal women But that's just the way it is you're fucking telling me that the card the card of

Book clubs opus card says they have a problem with me so that's it That's so that's it. What about the other cards? What about the men's cards? Like, you know, everywhere I wanna be. I said, master, how is this possible? Nobody else complained. And what do they complain about, if you know, and what terms of service?

You guys, oh, I said, well, what's their number? What's, give me their numbers so I can go talk to them. So you guys, well, I just Googled their number. Are you, do you have a pen? See, you Googled their number. You you, do you have a pen? See, you Googled their number. You don't have like some kind of an end. What do you mean you Googled their number to like apply for a fucking credit card?

What the fuck is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? Why would you say that out loud? You stupid fuck. Go home and go home. I know since it will soon be illegal for me to tell you to do this as the cases mount up.

Go home and beat yourself to death with a frying pan. You dumb fuck. You are worthless to me. And I'm willing to bet you're worthless. You're worthless to everybody you know. Probably so. And they probably pass it on to the people they know. It really goes all the way around the world and comes back to me.

Yeah. I'll be a Twitter. Fucking up. Fucking up people's know. It really goes all the way around the world and comes back to me. Yeah. All via Twitter. Fucking up people's brains. Well, you guys know, that's all I can do. Let me connect you with somebody else. Let me connect you with a higher pay grade in the fraud department. Okay.

So I said, oh great, the bullshit guys. Yeah. In the fraud department? Yeah. So you say, what's up? What's going on? You, new guy, Colin, whatever your fucking name is.

And they probably don't brief that person. You probably have to explain it all from scratch again. I would imagine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's always fun. Yeah. So what's the deal? What's going on with discovering? Ooh, I don't know what, I don't know who told you

what about discover, but let me just tell you this is a business decision that we're making. Oh yeah, the politics. The politics. No. Come again. Yeah. Oh, so that guy fucked up by reading the notes on my account.

I'm sure he did. Oh, I see. It's a business. So you guys have a lot more information that you're just not telling me. Things that are probably blatant anti-competitive practices, right? A credit card calling you up and saying, hey, that guy that's doing a lot of business

with his other credit cards, kill him. Kill that account, fucking done. Take, and if you can't make his mortgage, take his fucking house. Take the down payment, pocket it, take his fucking kids out on the street, and if he has a problem with that, take a social security and bill us out with it.

When this business model fails, yet again. He says, no, that's it, man. Yeah, I got no more information. I got no more information for you. Well, that's fint. We'll put you in contact with our attorney if you... We'll put you in contact with our email. Yeah. Yeah, which will be ignored or returned by Google, Google the number. Thanks, buddy. Thanks for Googling that shit for me. Thank you. Please just assume that because I have a merchant account

on a credit card processor that I'm at least more, but that's the thing. The idiots can't tell how useless they are. You would sit and say, well, this guy probably has a lot of shit. He could probably Google his own numbers. He probably knows about this phenomenon of Google that's circling. Here's the breakdown.

I'll give you the full breakdown of the whole thing because it seems stupid. Why have all your money in one place? Why wouldn't I have a backup? I had two backups at the same bank. I had a backup at Bank of America that they killed a week before for the same reason. No further information or two weeks before. They said discovery or business. They said business. Yeah, no further information or two weeks before they said discovery or business. They said business. Yeah. And it's fucked because I found out after this from no,

QE farms, no, that the Patriot Act changed the onus of responsibility for fraud and for criminal activities from the government onto the financial institutions doing the credit card process, which is fucking impossible. That's like car dealerships. Like, yeah, they have to run because of the pay tree act. They have to run like that. They don't have to run, they try to get you with the credit check. That's bullshit.

They do not have to run a credit check. Yeah. If you pay, but they are required, I believe have to run a credit check. Yeah, if you're paid, but they are required, I believe, to run a background check to make sure that, you know, 87 year old Gertrude Smith isn't a terrorist. And which they have no idea of, because they're not police, you know?

Which they have no fucking idea of because this is a guy making $7 an hour at a call center in Dallas, because the Indian guys sounded too Indian for the nipple massage that they were giving. So they moved it all in here. It's all a, it's all a, it's all a Patriot Act. It is this, it is this sick system, it is this sick and backward system of obligation and

good hopes started with the Patriot Act, maybe even before and culminating with the, with the instantaneous destruction of my business, which I'm going to preface, which I'm going to add at the addendum of saying I am talking to new, I'm talking to new processing companies. Yeah. On Friday, I started filling the forms out immediately only to find that my driver's license had expired on my birthday two days before, or three days before.

Four fuck. And of course, as soon as the date ticks over, for some reason that is no longer legal document. Yeah, I no longer have any age. I no longer am this person. Yeah, and I never was. Yeah, I mean, you guys, two days ago, this was fine. You understand that it expires because I need to go get retested for conditions, changing

conditions that affect my ability to fucking drive, not because not because my existence terminated two days ago, I know, I know, because my identity somehow changed. That's driven because of the fucking ability to drive us. Yeah, yeah. Ah, oh man. I feel terrible because you worked hard on that. That was something that's not easy to do. Well, to set up all that stuff and move people over. Oh yeah, the whole time's in look.

That's just a motherfucking business. Yeah, that's, you're running another business. I mean, I know Rubin and Peterson said they're gonna do it, but they're gonna fuck it up. And I'm gonna, look, this is a lot of fucking business. Yeah, that's, you're running another business. I mean, I know Ruben and Peterson said they're gonna do it, but they're gonna fuck it up. And I'm gonna tell you why. Oh, you mean in addition to all the things I said, one is spending six months in fucking rehab? Yeah, good fucking luck.

Well, yeah, if that's his most important, the chances are the business is gonna take a back seat. If he's trying to just kinda keep it on the, keep it on you in the fairway. Oh, at least I'm honest about all the drugs I'm on. That's true, all the time. And I will tell you, I'm not gonna fucking stop. I'm fucking pissed now.

If I'm an outlaw now from the banking system, then so be it. But I will find, I will find a way to take this money and give it to people. Because even last week, I got a Patreon sent me a warning. Last fucking week. Okay. Day before, the day fucking before this happened,

Patreon sent me a warning because I commented on Cody Wilson's sexual assault trial. I made a joke saying that the verdict was a kin to making the John tip the hooker. The force him to pay a $5,000 restitution to the hooker who lied about how old she was. Look, it's statutory rape. I mean, he's guilty. I fucking know.

But the joke, the joke of the system is one that does not protect women, does not account for duplicity, like does not account for actual real life circumstances, does not account for the wildly different age of consent of differences in age of consent around the country and around the world to say that this is like a violent and a matter of good and evil is stupid and preposterous. But what we can say is that is a tip. That is a cord and force tip of $5,000 that he was forced to pay the hooker after the hat. Fact. So that's the fucking job.

So that's what Patreon had a problem with. They said that was targeted for harassment. And I suspect it's because they thought Cody Wilson, the defendant, the assulter, in this case, the perpetrator of this statutory rape, I think they thought that was the girl's name because it's a girl's name. Cody.

Cody can be a girl. Yeah. Cuz the, I don't know who the fucking girl is. Nobody does. No. It's anonymous. It's a minor. I think, so I think it was, they sent me this huge email about how they've had reports

of all this doxing. They went through my account with a, with a, with that little pick from space balls that that guy hadn't found shit with a fow shit and that's what they said they went through the whole thing set by set by said you've been doing a great job of good acting information i said fucking thank you because but this tweet from months ago is a violation of the two ass you gotta be fucking kidding me this tweet yeah you don't know that you first of all, you don't know that's my fucking account. It's LA based comedian. How in the name of fuck is that how do you know

that's me? That explains the email I got. What did you what are you get? Do your LA based comedian. We think you're real and funny. Oh, but we would, we would prefer that you knock off the targeted harassment. We know that you were just a victim in this, but no, yeah. No, I didn't get any emails. So I said everybody, hey, they sent me this email. Everybody moves over to new project too, new project to you instantly. And suddenly just joined, like, oh, thanks.

You just cost me three grand. You just cost me three grand, instantly destroyed. Like, oh thanks, you just cost me three grand. You just cost me three grand, Polly. What is it called for Mace Ventura? Blown me. Oh, you just cost me three, you just cost me 25 grand. Would he choose the pigeon away? Oh, remember that. And he gets in a fight with the mascot.

You just cost me 25 grand, Polly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, Sean, I don't know. Oh, man. Keep fighting. Well, at least keep fighting. I'm going to win. I know in, but at least Patreon, well, because you don't stop because you don't have to pay me to do this. You have to pay. I know. I know. I know. It's $8 an hour to fuck me. You don't have to pay me any money. Yeah. Well, I'll do that. Shift for free. At least Patreon, at least you basically got the thumbs up from them if you look at it that way Yeah, it's at one stupid thing, but they're like yeah, we have all these reports all these reports and you have no any there's no validity to any of these

Yeah, so I mean at least you know at least they'll continue to process your Payments but they still got a big warning flag on my account This has we sent you an email, the guidelines email, you haven't responded to it, but you're in danger of filing. I thought you didn't respond to it. But that's a fucking box is still there. Oh, yeah.

All right, anyway. I don't know, did I have to, did I need to go into any more about this, this rage that I have? I'd, you know, it was making me rage this week, half seasons. Yeah, half seasons that I have. You know, it was making me rage this week, half seasons. Yeah, half seasons. Half seasons.

Half seasons. Okay. Well, the Bojack Horseman half season is out. Talk about a blue ball. Talk about an emotional blue ball. Talk about getting left on red by a TV show. But a season has shrunk from like 22 episodes down to like, I mean, 10. So yeah, about 10. Sometimes fewer. Yeah. Sometimes one or two more, but it's, down to like, I mean 10. Yeah, about 10. Sometimes fewer.

Yeah. Sometimes one or two more, but it's yeah, one of the season is half or less than what it used to be. This three year acceptance speech, it is getting to the point where they're saying goodbye to the show is longer than the fucking show. Did we need a two season, a two half season ender for Bo Jack Horseman.

I don't know. Alcoholic fucking horse. I gotta go, I gotta go back and pick that up again. I mean, I'm several seasons, you know, in top of my dick off. We're gonna give you half a blow job here, and then we're gonna come back in January and give me the other half. No thanks. Just give me the whole thing at the same time.

Don't give me half of one here and then half of it later. You're not that, you're not, it wasn't good enough for breaking bad. Breaking bad wasn't good enough for that shit. You're definitely not good enough for that shit. The only property that could ever deserve to pull that off was back to the future. And it was a technical limitation. Two, three, bam, bam. And there was plenty enough to have its own movie,

just a tiny little thread, not a gigantic cork in the tip of your cock, so you can't come and then telling you to come back in six months with nothing, I'm fucking tired of it. And that's gonna be the new everything. Every movie, every TV show, don't get invested in anything. Only listen to this podcast and support this podcast. Because everyone else wants to blueball you

and I wanna get you off. That's my message to everyone. Dr. Phil tapes, out, done. The entire thing at once. The entire thing at once. No teases. No teases. No cock teases here.

So what happens with new project, too? I gotta find a new credit card process. So you're just searching for that, okay. I'm not, there's a thousand people, that's a shitload of people. I'm not letting those just die on the vine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's see what else I got here. We went to a very thrilling lesbian art show last night.

Man, if you want to meet some chicks, if you want to try out a new venue, to meet some girls, hit up an art show, there are broads sitting there by themselves, just looking, just staring at fucking art. They don't know what they're staring at. Who are not lesbians? No, they're all lesbians.

They're all lesbians. They're all lesbians, even chicks with their boyfriend's there were lesbians, it was crazy. But they are sitting there, sitting there, staring at art, pretending to appreciate it, pretending to appreciate it, having no fucking. But they are sitting there, sitting there, staring at art, pretending to appreciate it. Attending to appreciate it, having no fucking idea what they're looking at. Because no, they're not.

99% of people don't understand what they're looking at. And the art these days, the person paying it definitely had no fucking idea. This is just, they stumbled upon a style like adventure time and everybody loved you, like, oh yeah, yeah, I'm gonna be crank out these. Don't want to talk about that. That is the truth with the shows.

Yeah. Get some of those, you know what, you know what, that adventure, that time adventure show is really big. You know what, get some of those weird autistic kids we don't understand. We don't get it, but there must be something there that kids will get it. And then that just becomes terrible fucking shows. Yeah. Cancels, cancels, that's new art.

Yeah, we got to have cancels and everything. It's like the new Robert Crumb. They have, it is, the experience will make you want to murder yourself because it is picture after picture. And you know, it's something I like to do at our shows is just see what ungodly prices are asking for these things, right? Because who in... It must be brilliant, it's so expensive. Who in the name of fuck would pay $25,000

for something like this? Yeah, sure. But they've replaced, it was so hip that they replaced all of the name plates with QR codes, which I think are the worst invention ever made. Yeah. The QR code as a, the QR code as a substitute for words. Is the, is the lamest, most nutless invention,

I think to come out of this century so far. We do not want them. Nobody wants a QR code. Fuck off with your QR codes. Nobody, nobody wants to use them. Nobody except for UPS and I don't, and I want them to scratch it off the box before they drop it off of my door. That's it. So everyone's sitting, it's a bunch of boomers. It's a bunch of

boomers. Yeah. Trying to, trying to get their wives to help them hold their phone straight so they can line up these QR codes. So they can, they don't even know what they're trying to see right in the place of the name plaque. I forgot why he. I forgot why he was even talking about this. Let's be on the art gallery. Check site by themselves. There was a dickhead there. What was that guy's name? I fuck.

It was wearing a shirt. Wrote it down. Now he came up and he said, he said, are you Dick Masterson? Oh, he just happened to, yeah. And I said, are you a bank? That's cool. Yeah.

And he goes, yeah, you're Dick Masterson. Yeah. God damn it. I forgot, I really want to you a bank? That's cool. Yeah. And he goes, yeah, you're Dick Masterson. Yeah. God damn it. I forgot. I really want to find his name, but oh well. I just happened to be there. Where was it? I don't want to guess.

I know it was a Mexican name. I don't want to guess stereotypical, even though I think it was. It was downtown. Highly recommend, give it a shot. Really? There's chicks who are sitting there like it's the 80s. No phone at all. I can't believe it.

Wow. Okay, let's see what else I can do. They're not just holding your phone up to the painting and filming it. No, and you can say whatever you want. Yeah, just go read any kind of art appreciation thing and repeat that. That doesn't matter what it's for.

That's, man, that's so true. That's one thing, because if I'm into something, Randy was so bitter, because you know how he was at art. Yeah, he's going around just shitting on it bitterly. Like I could make this with an exacto knife and a cardboard thing's like, so fucking do it. You probably know too much to make this.

Yeah, but yeah, that's exactly. I always have to know a lot of stuff about what I'm really into. But art is one thing. It's one of the only things that I can go and I can enjoy it and not feel the need to delve deeper into it and know where it can, it's like, I look at it and I either really like it

or I don't and I'm fine with like not getting it too. That's like, that's rare for me. All right, what else do I have? I really got carried away with that whole bank. Well, I don't know, it's a pretty big deal. Yeah, I can't believe it. Yeah. I can't fucking believe what it is now. Isn't it? Isn't it incredible that like, A of all people. Yeah.

That entities can just come between what could easily be an arm's length transaction. Yeah. Like, I mean, just between, you know, it's like, hey, I like what you do. Here's some cash. Like, but we need this shit. And then they're like, well, like two people, two people think it's like, hey, I like what you do. Here's some cash, like, but we need this shit and then they're like, well, like two people, two people think it's controversial. So it might be, yeah, it might be. That's again, the tale is wagging the dog these days and that's a bad fucking way to go.

It is a bad episode of married with children every day. No, some fat woman manning a computer with a big red button that says, fuck this guy, gets to make, gets paid $8 an hour to make every important decision of your life. I think there's two things and one of them needs to change in order for things to work better. The first is we just, we have to realize, and I think most people know this, that there are always going to be a certain percentage of people who are just stupid. Yeah. They're just stupid. And everything is the same.

Every, every slight or, or, you know, something negative in society, they're all a ten. Then there's the other group, and I think that's a much larger group that is pretending to be stupid. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they're afraid of the really stupid ones ruining their life. Yeah. So people are saying, oh yeah, no, no, that's, I mean, that's just awful.

That's just awful. That's just awful. Oh, yeah. Well, that's not near as bad as what So-and-So did. And like the perfect example was Matt Damon. He was totally right that there's a ranking of these like sexual offenses. Oh, yeah. So we got all treat them this and then like a month or two later, he apologized because He was totally right that there's a ranking of these sexual offenses. Oh yeah, but we have all treat them this,

and then like a month or two later, he apologized because fuckin' Hollywood was hammering. It's like, no, they're all a 10. They're all a 10. And it's like, no, you, obviously they're not. Obviously they're not telling somebody who is now pretending to be stupid

that they're all a 10. Yeah, it is. And it starts at home. It starts at home when you're all at the family dinner table for Thanksgiving listening to the show. And somebody starts talking about what's wrong with their life and everybody nods along saying, oh, wow, you were fooled by the best.

And you sit there and bite your tongue and you know everybody's in there biting their tongue to cater to this moron. It is a society built, it's a society built by the high IQ beat by the normal IQ run by the low IQ. That's what the tail is wagging the dog and that's a fucking you know what you do? You're docker. You docker. Fuck and tail. I'm pretty sure we can't say that. Well, I'm going to get resurcomposed. I'm hoping that gets my bank accounts back, but I don't I don't That's hilarious. I'm gonna find I'm gonna find out Monday if I'm if I'm literally blacklisted very sophisticated

Gerritsey good Veronica is here. Hi Veronica. Do you want to come sit down over here? Remember I was telling everybody about how respectful I was being in this picture That's fine. You're good. It's a closer. You're good. You're getting to arrange myself for the camera. Oh, yeah, okay Let's make sure the camera getting to arrange myself for the camera. Let's see. Oh yeah, okay. Let's make sure the camera needs to arrange itself for you. Is everyone in focus is Veronica in focus? Everybody.

I don't want to touch it. The camera. She looks in focus from here. She's wearing a white. What is wrong with this necklace? Oh, my necklace just fell off. Oh, no. It was dying to.

Okay. I don't know what else is going to fall off. I don't know. It looks pretty much like she looks, I think. Yeah, it looks great. Sean and I look sick and desperate and horny, but you look fantastic. I mean, do you identify as a darker person?

Is that me myself? Yeah, I don't know. I was having a tan. I'm a new wife, but next to Sean, I'm nicely all over. Yeah, yeah. See, Sean doesn't go outside. Sean blends with the bra behind his head. What's going on? The bra's blue. Nicely olive yeah, yeah, yeah, see Sean doesn't go outside

Blends with the bra behind his head The bra's blue actually kind of turning blue. I've got see you need to light me better Show a nice air like I'll put it on the list of what light hair light hair white. So it creates some kind of separation between the brine your head. Oh, hair light. So now it's like three heads. Now you look like you have three heads. If you do a hair light, it's a shone head and a bra. Like a little bra.

I could move the bra. Or your head, either or. Oh, that's good. Oh, god, I don't like that. But it's a nice background. So these paintings are Randy's? This one is. This one's Randy's. I have no idea.

That's great. Yeah, that's great. Very talented. He brought me over and showed me some of his stuff. Who's he said all of them, didn't he? Like he said, all the paintings in the studio are mine. Uh, no, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no, no. No, no, no, no. That's the only Randy painting, I think. Okay. I think. All, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, in room. And it'll probably last, it'll probably be 10 minutes of technical problems. 10 minutes of technical problems in about 30 seconds of deciding to do it another time when he has reception. I want to find out about the whale fucking from him. I want to know about that. Wait, wait, wait, whale fucking. Yeah, he fucks whales. I mean, I'm the real animal. One of it like a dolphin. No, no, go whale. Like a whale. Your blue whale. He fucks it. He fucks, he fucks blue whales. Yeah. You know, I wish, I wish this was going to turn out

to be what it sounds like, but somehow I know that you have... What do you mean? Somehow I know that it's not going to be. Oh, okay. All right, I'm gonna read you some. I'm just fucks with whales, but not fuck whales. Could be. He literally fucks, has sexual integrates with whales

in their blowholes. Maybe dead ones. In their blowholes. That's what he said. I know like That's what he said I think and he plays with the meat and his meat Where is this cable? It is under the I want to hear the whale story then I'm curious about this guy now. Yeah, all right I'm curious see I hooked her Sean. Yeah, he's also got this damn stuff in cryptocurrency Oh, it doesn't matter but I can't wait a whale Sean. Yeah.

He's also got this dumb stuff in cryptocurrency. Oh, it doesn't matter, but it doesn't make a whale. Here's from Willy, Dick being an English major isn't about reading books. It's about critical analysis, decoding and clear communication. Gotcha. I can read something dense like a bunch of ass and I and memos from Boomer management and figure out the important stuff

and then communicate that information in a clear and concise manner to other people working with or for me or for their own understanding. He's like, no. But so can I. There you go. You don't need your dumb English major. No, I'd... All right, that's kind of a long one.

Not very clear and concise, actually, Willie. You know that I think about it. Fix this necklace in the meantime. Okay. Also, reading makes the mind work more better, like lifting weight, strengths, and the muscle, reading literature journals, articles of repute, strengths in the mind. That's that I'm aware that English majors can be major. I think Nick Rikita's English major.

Yeah. I think Nick Rikita's an English major. Does podcast strengthen the brain? Yes, it does. Oh. Strengthens everything. Everything you're doing. Everybody's still listening then.

It will make your stocks do better too. Hopkins and Clair says, what makes me a rage is when people ask, what have you been up to? And I have to say, I don't know the same damn thing. Nothing changes all that much. If there is drama going on, I sure as hell, I'm not gonna spill my gun. I'm not gonna become your personal,

like, episode of my life. Oh yeah, welcome to the Dic show. All right, yeah. Your own private fucking download for this week. Here's what's happening in my life. Man, I know. That's it. That is me, a hundred percent. Nothing's really new. No, life. Man, I know. That's it. That is me, 100%.

Nothing's really new. Nothing's going on, same old, same old. Yeah, I'm not, yeah. No, no, no, no. I'm not, I'm not gonna go, well, you know, honestly, like, oh, you go, okay, because I feel like I'm holding the other person hostage. Yeah. There's a statue to limitations,

I think, on that question. Or they have to have done something for you. There's a couple people who can ask me that, and I've been selling inside of them, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. What makes it worse is when they ask it the same fucking week, go fuck yourself.

Right. Aaron Maren, that's a good one. I need a memory of problems. They do. They forget the day I ask already. But they have some kind of Tourette's. Or it's like a social Tourette's where they need to get along with everybody.

So it's new, some people do that because they don't know what else to say because they're like awkward in conversation. Yeah. I have seen that. So it's like, even in the same conversation, I've seen that, yeah, yeah, so everything good. Like, hey, how are you, blah, blah, blah,

and then, you know, a couple sentences. Yeah, everything good? Yeah, man. Yeah, I've seen that. Yes, that... That is like a social turret. Kind of, because it's just awkward. Hey, Dick Shana-guessive, applicable. You know, it makes me a huge rage.

You're the gardeners with homework. My daughter is five years old, experiencing her first school, bright-eyed, and full of excitement. I want to preserve that innocent zest for life as long as possible, but this fucking school that's actually being punished is already trying to crush the fun out of your soul. The past two months of kindergarten have been full of homework every fucking day. Read this, write this, CVC words, and everything else they drop on her. What the, why the fuck do I send her to school from eight to three thirty Monday through Friday

if I have to do that? Dude, that's so long to school is so fucking for kindergarten fucking homework could you I know kindergarten gets like a nap time I think but like holy shit eight three and thirty the kids what how else you want to entertain that laugh and I pad on them in a not homework the best education possible is on this one little screen homework. Yeah, the best education possible. It's on this one little screen. Is that sarcasm? Whatever I resign myself and my face fate to this bullshit homework. And here's the fiery cheering on top of this Sunday of the school sent a letter that said of enough parents donated a large bag of candy.

And the month of October, then the students will not have homework for the month of November. Really? Really? So the homework isn't, it's for the month of November. Really? I'm sure Greg. That's really. So the homework isn't, it's like the red light cameras. Yeah. Oh, it didn't make enough money. You can make this go. Oh, you know what?

It's really not about safety. The worst part. It's really not about learning. Learning, no. The worst part about the homework is listening to teachers justify why they do that much homework. Yeah. Like, well, you have to test and compare like fuck you. You should be able to do that between the hours of eight and three thirty.

I would say that is plenty of time, given that the average adult probably works about two hours out of his eight hour day. Yeah. If that. Yeah. That's true, so they can be putting more work on the parents instead of doing it themselves. Yeah. So that's the whole point. Yeah.

Because it's a mess every, no matter what you're doing, the last thing you want to do is decode some cryptic worksheet of writing seas and bats and cats and so $12 can render it unnecessary. It pisses me off so much I want to pull her out of school and teach her at home. Yeah. Well, that doesn't save you any money, buddy. No. Does it?

If you just had all the money that we're paying these morons to teach the kids, you could easily do it at home. Yeah. You could just walk across the street and hire your local teacher to come over and teach five kids. What do you think? It's your entire passion and goal in life to raise and instruct and develop the minds of children.

Just do what you think is best, Ned. I'm gonna go to work and work to pay you to raise our kids. Simple as fuck. Nobody going around doing pretend shooting drills. I'm sorry, Ron, I got very fired up today. No, it's just then the home school kid that's gonna be the one that has the social torrets. That's gonna be the one that...

I don't know how to say other kids. I think because they're... Do you think they're weird? Do you think school kids are weird? Some of them are, but... Yeah, some of them can be even better than a regular kids But I think it just creates some kind of isolated little creep But they may have friends in the neighborhood and stuff public public in checker public

What is the like in checker public? Public in checker public. What is it very nice? We were just talking about it with the 80s girl earlier Yeah, totally different school system It's very nice. We were just talking about it with the 80s girl earlier. Yeah. So the different school system. Mm-hmm. Uh, do you have fake mass shootings there that you have to prep before? I hope not. You hope not.

Not even today. No. What's the biggest difference for Czech Republic schools in the region? Mm, the curriculum is very, is difficult. Do you learn about gender? She hasn't been to a public school here. Well, you know, she's got an idea. I mean, I finished my high school year here. Oh,

college and then university. So I know more than enough. But it's just the kids in checker public are loaded with education. You either take it or you don't or you fail. You have to repeat the same class. And here. And here it seems like you just get praised for everything. Oh good job. I'm a stupid homework. You just almost done. Not when we would just do it. And it's so beautifully done. And it's yeah. No, it's not. They don't hold kids back. Weeks. Yeah. Okay. I've got some advice before June and Colson. This is from Asman, Jr. Don't use my my name. My girlfriend listens to the show, okay? We'll call him A. Jr.

I hope his name isn't Asman, I'm real. Hey, Dick, I am Sean, I'm a 16 year old guy. I have a car, job, et cetera, except he's used a millennial abbreviation for et cetera, which is EXC and not ETC. And my girlfriend wants to do anal. Never heard that. I have an either.

XC. Me either. Currently we fucking a car. And I have no idea what to do or how, but she seems into it. So I'm not gonna pass it up. You're right to not pass it up. You have to do it.

If your girlfriend wants anal, either she's getting it from you or she's getting it from someone else. What is it matter where is it done? Well, because he's a kid. So they can only have sex in his car. So that's what I'm talking about. Which is, this is, get used to a life of this, my friend, which is women making you do shit.

This is about the worst place to have to fuck your girlfriend, to have anal sex with your girlfriend is in your own car. It depends how big the car is to, like, he is a small one, then it's gonna be super difficult. They're cars are, but he's a 16 year old kid, so I assume he's got like a mini or something like that. But he's not fully grown. He's not fully grown.

Probably could fit anywhere. Maybe. Get ready for a life of having to subject yourself to sexual acts and places, practices that you are not comfortable, get used to it right now. What you can do is- Just used to being uncomfortable.

Yeah, you got to be comfortable being uncomfortable. Do you have any tips for this guy? The pull this off. That's the end of his story. I'm not gonna pass it up. What do I do? So he just doesn't, but I don't understand this issue. Is he bragging or asking for help?

He says he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know how to do it, I think. How to do it? In a car. Yeah. Fold your seats, make some room, open the door, go somewhere, hidden. Get two cars. Keep the windows open.

And put a blanket in front and behind them, right? Like circling the wagon. Again, he could give in more info. Like what model of a car so we can look it up. Well, if you had gone to the Czech Republic school systems, he would have been able to write that more clearly and concise. He wouldn't have to hide in a car first of all,

even just. Right. Hey, this is from the... He could have done it in her parents' den, right? I need some sexual advice, Dick and Sean, called me Vango Tango, by the way. Okay, whoops. Hey now, hey, Dick and Sean, call me Van Gogh, Van Gogh, Tango, by the way. Okay, whoops. Hey now, hey Dick and Sean, I hope you guys stay,

I hope your guys day off well, okay? Better than yours. Hope your guys day off well. I find myself in a quite a unique situation that none of my male friends have been in, or a bunch of your listeners have been in. I'm willing to bet too. I'm a straight guy, 21 decent looking, six feet tall.

Here comes the, should I fuck another guy? Six foot tall, manlit, right? Yeah, that's the new manlit, six feet tall. If you're under six, six, you're a manlit. You're a manlit, try easy. You're a manlit, Veronica. You're a manlit. Oh, manlit is like a short guy.

It's such man. Right. I'm in six, what? Six six. Oh wow, then everybody is a manless. Yes, that's our manless. Yeah. I've been single for one year now.

I was previously in a three year relationship, which was my longest and first real one. I've been on several dates with decent looking girls got as far as to make out with a few of them. One even was a bicarious lesbian, who was a former friend of my ex-girlfriend and secretly hated her this whole time. She had that in common, wonderful.

At least she was honest. Despite all of those experiences, I only had sex with one other girl, and it was a pity fuck who I was not attracted to in the slightest and only happened twice. I've tried convincing some of my other horny female friends to be friends with benefits, but they- I'm even saying I would like to see this convincing situation. It's trying about roofies, I think. No, I think he has like a document set up and written down what he's expecting.

I like a car salesman. I can see here this. This offers very attractive initial here and here. And this is it with the points. I'll be here too. If you want to complain about guys, I'll gladly listen to one or two So here and here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here.

And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here.

And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here.

And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here find a boyfriend or decline for probably not being into me yet still be open about being horny bitches. However, I recently found a taker who was willing to give me all the blow jobs I want. Okay guy, who was getting better. This is what I, yeah, who was my former co-worker at my job. He does. You knew Sean. It's going to be a guy. Well, the length of these emails is how gay they're because as soon as he said, I be a good guy. Well, the length of these emails is how gay they're here. Because as soon as he said, I'm a straight guy who, blah, blah, I go, here comes, should

I sleep with a dude? He does have a boyfriend, but says as long as he is only giving me head, it's not cheating. I think it's gonna stay there. Nobody rides for free, buddy. Now I'm not gay. Let me be clear. You're gay. If I had to pick...

I don't think he has to be necessarily gay. No. No. What would make him gay? You can experiment. Still take it into butt and not be gay. You get your dick sucked by a guy that doesn't make you gay? No.

You experimenting. But if you do it a lot with a lot of guys. How many times? I don't know, it's a little. A couple of times a day. Do you need a grinder profile before you're actually? I think you okay to try with a couple of people. Okay, do it every day and don't enjoy it.

Oh, we've got to interrupt this story for one minute. Mr. John McAfee, hello. Hey, how you doing? Pretty good, how are you doing, man? I'm doing great. You have had a hell of a couple of months. You're on the phone with myself, Dick Masterson, Sean, the audio engineer, and Veronica LaVary, who's a Czech playmate, very beautiful. Hello, hello. She was very interested in her stories of whale fucking that I mentioned before we got on the phone with you. Oh, yeah, I need to say right out of the bed, but we can talk about that.

I'm not going to give any names of the way the whales have names. And I'm not talking about any specific acts. Okay. Just respect the whales privacy. Okay. Okay. Just respect the whales, privacy. Okay. How did you get into, we're talking about sexual intercourse with the animals whales, right?

Yes. How did you get into them? Who turned you onto that? You know, this is a joke. I do social experience experiments all the time. That was fun. And I kept doing polls going, how many people believe I'm really fucking whales. So the overgrupt majority did. I asked you to consider something. I mean,

I talked specifically about on back whales. On back whales. Way 70,000 pounds, 50 feet long, and it's powerful enough to crush a small boat with one swipe of the tail. Right. Now, sir, do you think any human is going to manage to seduce one of those fuckers? You didn't think it was something. I mean, you're pretty accomplished, though. If there's anybody who could do it, you could. Yeah, but okay, so here's the truth.

I tried, but I was not hungry. Well, I'm not all right. Oh, I see. Did you try it in the blowhole or the traditional, the, the Christian, the good Christian, uh, whole, the loophole? I'm a missionary position man myself. Uh, uh, okay. So you've got, last time we were about to talk, you had just been imprisoned.

Can you get the whale on its back? Could you tell us more about that? How long ago was that? That was like a month ago, and I think you said you just decided to leave on Twitter. Oh, okay, that wouldn't call that imprisoned. we were detained for four days and not the best of situations. I know, four days doesn't count. Sure. Make a bad vacation, basically. Yeah. What happened?

It was like a bad vacation, basically, she's saying. Let's tell the story, all right? It's a child story properly. I need my wife. Oh, can I ask you to talk to me? Yes, please, please. It was a big party. It's an investment, Kathy, please hop in. Because because Janice was with me. Oh, at the time, all right. Although she

was in she was in the cell block next to us. Now these cells don't have any glass windows, just rusted iron bars, rickety old bunks. I mean, it's not exactly the, you know, the Hilton. But that, but she was with me. We're in Cuba. We've been in Cuba for a couple months, and we're really enjoying it. Suddenly, some army officers come and give me a sip of paper saying, be here at 2 o'clock tomorrow. So, Janice and I go. The general comes in and says, the United States government has requested that we return you to the States. We have chosen not to do that. Nice. We would like it, however, if you would leave the country within 72 hours, I'd go, well, fuck yes. Thank you very much. So we left the country at about 50 hours later,

went to the Dominican Republic, focused four and a half days of sailing, got there and we were immediately surrounded by internal special forces, not customs, not immigration. We didn't get to talk to them. So they were interested in some weapons charges. Now, we have weapons on our yacht, every fucking yacht has weapons. They should. But yeah. When we go to the Bahamas, we declare the weapons. They take a note, they, you know, they, they, they serve an almost, and let you keep them, but you can't take them off the boat. In Cuba, when we declared them, they said,

we'll take these, we'll give them back to you when you leave, which they did. The Dominican Republic charged us for illegally bringing weapons into the country before we'd even fucking entered. We didn't get to talk to customs and immigration. Nothing.

So we found out four days later, here's how things work in the third world. They soft and heal up. Yeah. So, you know, we're detained for four days. And I expect we're going to be soft, but I'm just pissed as is Janus anyway. And that was when you were, that was the pictures that I saw on Twitter where it's like a little twin bed. I mean, it looked, I would be soft as fuck if I had to sleep.

My back would be like a knot. It looked terrible. The condition. We had mattresses, fuck me, that's a good shit. So anyway, so they finally said we have to send you back to the United States. So now I saw no wonder they had illegally detained us. I knew it was a CIA again. They did not succeed in Cuba.

Cuba is not going to cooperate. So they got the indivinect and republic to do it. By hired two lawyers had them file a brief with the court saying Mr. McVeigh demands to be heard before he's deported anywhere. Now, we're at the top of the news so they can't turn that down. Yeah. At that point, everything changed. We were sent to the airport as VIPs literally. We're in the lounge where I am ambassadors and presidents stay. know, people drink formal gear, pouring us wine and stuff. That's how much the change was because it was clearly a setup that organized by the CIA and it was illegal.

In any case, here we are in an undisclosed location. Oh, no. Man, what kind of weapons do you have on your yacht? Could you give us like an idea, we have a lot of gun guys to listen to the show. Could you give us an idea of what your arsenal is like on that yacht? Yeah, sure, if you got real gun guys then. Oh yeah.

Okay, we had a German made AR-15 with a binary trigger made with the latest composite materials, it weighed next to nothing, but it would fire as rapidly as a fully automatic AK-47. We've of course had a vanilla of fully automatic shotgun. Now it's not fully, sorry, semi automatic shotgun. Had a couple of glock nine millimeters, a glock 17 and glock 19. Sounds reasonable. Had some 15-hour trial.

I'm talking about these for those blocks. Yeah. It's not a good idea. Or a good idea. Have you ever had to use them in self-defense type situation while you're out at sea? Ha, ha, ha, ha. What a question.

Janice is next to me. She will verify that in every house we have owned, I have put anywhere from 50 to 400 rounds through the ceiling walls and plan floors. Yes, I mean, I've definitely used them. Uh, and she'll scare people off or just for like, root and tutin' having a good time.

Extra, extra amorous Well, I actually I will come back People were in the attic and I started firing the attic And in fact people were in the attic. They didn't place serve up my my lovely wife Who we really had no choice. I mean, she was in a rock in a marketplace. I understood this, but yes, I mean, I live a real life, folks. Oh no, you live a surreal life, my friend.

There is nothing real about this life that you're living. It's incredible, but it is not, it doesn't touch reality. Uh, I am, I do need to learn from you because i myself was just uh... uh... uh... eighty six from a number of american banks last week so i think i might be heading into outlaw territory at some point in my life like you may be a space yad or something you know i i can't help you with the bank things i can have a bank account obviously

you know but uh... if you'll hang in in there, I think crypto currency in a couple of years will give you the opportunity. We already have a distributed exchange. Only Ethereum based tokens now, but the next week we'll have Tron and a few weeks after that finance and EOS, go to one of those things. And instead of getting out into Fiat, get into like we already support DAI with the most stable of all stable coins. If you've worried about the market,

cash out into that, why bother caching out to Fiat people? It's nonsense. You said it was DAI, could you tell us more about your McAfee decks? I've read about it, but I know people are always interested in your take on cryptocurrency. Like, I get that question more than anything else.

Well, I created a deck for the people, not for the regulators. That's pretty clear. You know, we hold no money. We don't take anybody's money. It's all pure to pure transfers. We don't ask anybody's name. If you're, we don't ask you for email address, we don't want to know anything about it.

We don't care if you come from America or to your Delphway, go all the same to us. There's no charge for listing. There's no listing piece. You want to list something. Press the button at the top of the page and input the coin's technical specs and you're listed. Right. Already over 500 new coins have been listed.

Yeah. And just over three weeks. So I followed none of the KYC, none of the money laundering regulations. Nothing. This is for the people. No. Where I'm dead is some hard contracts on the blockchain. Right.

And a portal to it, which we've the first one, it's just called MacafeedX.com. We have over the third new portal. Now, you remember, the domain X, it wants to, but I'm going to do it. So it can't make any sense. It wants to improve it. So it can't be shut down.

Can't change a bit. It's again, I know, for the IRS. We needed to know who these people are. I'm going to go, but me, I wish I could help you. Yeah. But I wasn't thinking. I built it on the blockchain and it can't go away. And it can't change.

It's an immutable record of what I've done. Please God, forgive me or let me build one for you, IRS, whatever. But no, it can't be changed, can't be shut down, can't be in any way controlled by anyone, including me. I can't anything that's happening or starting to get it. I want to believe it and I'm a big believer in cryptocurrency. Obviously, we have a cryptocurrency on this show built using a ERC 20 token on Ethereum. What do you think? But I also don't want to underestimate the Fed and the IMF and the bankers. What do you think they're going to do? What do you think their last play is to? Like, what do you think their, their last

play is to fuck over cryptocurrency? Because they will, I know that they will, they have to try, they owe it to themselves to try. They have done the shadiest things, imagine in the past, to get rid of gold, get the company on, or get the country on field in the first place. What do you think is their final weapon for getting rid of cryptocurrency? What is in the future for them? The world wide criminalization of using cryptocurrencies other than those created by and supported by national governments or large institutions. But who gives that flying fuck? There are enough of us using it now that it doesn't matter.

I mean, do you realize, for 75 years in the US, smoking weed has been illegal, and in some states a major felony. In none of those states that it stopped anybody from smoking weed, what you choose to do in the privacy of your home, whether it's smoke weed or shoot heroin or have sex with four women or four men or a mix of all, including a sheep, buying the sheep consign and consent form.

Yeah. I'm clothing host. Or if I can, yeah. Is your fucking sort of business and can't be stopped. So a law with no teeth meaning it cannot be enforced is the law. Ignorant people do you think. Yeah. I think you're right. And the sad reality is is these laws with no teeth as our technology improves are easier to enforce by a small, a smaller number of fascist cops. I think you're totally right in saying that it will be a worldwide criminalization of

crypto just like what it has been. But the more and more private companies work with the government, the more and more, a smaller number of people have access to a greater number of tools to restrict speech and restrict commerce. I think it's going to be a lot worse than when weed was illegal. But yeah, you're totally right. So it is because it's going to be worldwide. You have universally accepted and like team players with all governments going the same though I know it's illegal don't do it yeah yeah it's gonna it's gonna be a little

bit worse yeah but whatever whatever you gained from smoking weed if you ever did is nothing again 20 pounds smoking weed and up to watch you might gain yeah by using crypto currencies for their intended purpose not investments but buying and selling goods and services with the currency yeah uh what are your favorite coins right now to watch do you mentioned medical and privacy coins last time you called in? What are your favorite tokens out there right now? God, I got so many. I mean, well, my favorite token is DAI, I mean, but you can't pump it,

because it never would go up more than 1% or down more than 1%. But it's a fantastic fucking coin. What is DAI? It's a DAI. Yeah, it was, It was a stable coin using a theory of the fact we have it on our exchange. You can infer any theory of coin into the AI on our exchange. It's a stable coin based on the US dollar, which has never and can't ever because it's all in smart contracts

on the blockchain. It can't ever go up more than one penny or down more than one penny from the US. Interesting. So it's like you can ease yourself into crypto by converting your money to DAI, knowing that it won't fluctuate. do that in DAI and more and more people are accepting it. It's got, I don't know, maybe $50 million a day in volume. But it's enough right now for how few people know what it is. That's very interesting. And, by the way, you know this can't be promotion because they don't make anything. Right.

It can't be pumped. They can't. Oh, I'm going to make 10%. No, you're not don't make anything. Right. Yeah. It can't be pumped. It can't, oh, I'm going to make 10%. No, you're not going to make anything. You never, it just fluctuates between 90.1 and $1.99 in the story. That'd be good. I convinced my mom to get $40 in Bitcoin and she freaks out every day because she's got $42 on day and $35 the next day.

People are going to be watching the price and the market is volatile. Yeah. The AI, not volatile. Yeah. But at any time, you can convert it to whatever you want. I mean, convert it to Bitcoin and Ethereum on Arrow, Zcash, Zfax, who gives a flying fucking to Tron, whatever you want. Okay, I've got a question for you. Do you think we'll ever find out the truth of what happened to Epstein?

And do you think he killed himself? Well, let me ask you. Let me ask you and your listeners a question. Okay. How does a man, six feet, one inch tall, hang himself from a bed, five feet seven inches tall? Yeah.

In a manner that breaks his neck in three places, while the guards who were supposed to be watching were sent home because of cleaning, his cellmate was transferred oddly enough six hours before his death. So there were no witnesses in the cell. The security cameras oddly enough were misaligned and had no videos of anything that happened in the cell. Please, God, people, you're asking me if you if he could be the suicide. Yeah. You tell me what you truly think. I think we should have just given him to you so you could keep you could keep him safe until the trial happened. You seem to be doing a good job of it for yourself.

Well, you know, I've had a lot of experience in this. I mean, I've been speaking out against governments and institutions for the past 30 years. I have a great deal of experience in hiding on the backlash because you can't speak truth in this world and make friends. It isn't possible. No, that's not true. You only make enemies and those that would be friends simply

cower on the sidelines. You're standing alone, my friend. So yes, I am in a fairer day cage with signal champions with the most sophisticated set of software and hardware that I promise you, you're not going to find me. When we leave the cage, we carry no electronics with us. And in this cage, we have no phones anymore. You can't call us on the phone line, but who cares? I'm talking to you over the zoom I think this is yeah, I really appreciate you calling in too by the way I know it's a pain in the ass connection from Sean the audio engineer

Thank you for choosing an undisclosed location with really much better internet Yeah, I mean I need the internet because this is life. I have to talk, I have to get my workout. That's what I'm doing. What are your favorite things to do on the run? I don't know if I asked you this last time, but what do you look forward to every day? Maybe you and your wife seems like a hell of a life to lead. There would be a lot of unique experiences, but what are some of your favorites? Well, I mean, he mentioned my wife.

I think my number one favorite is wearing her eye heels in lingerie. Okay. On Friday nights. You know, there's a second. Yeah, we're in a very nice location. What do you think about that, Veronica? You guys have the same high heel.

I've worn high heels and Good luck finding a I've only have a 12 size shoe. I'm a manly, but good luck finding a big enough high heel for a full-size man my friend Actually, I don't think I've ever worn high heels, but you know, I can possibly see myself doing it anyway Yeah, that sounds like a good social experiment tweet to be honest. We live in a beautiful location. We love getting out. You know, when we get out, we're in an amazing automobile. It's a car that's fully bulletproof. You can blast off a couple of your rounds in there through the ceiling in case anyone's on the top. Well, I always hope someone will shoot at us while we're out so that I can smile.

As we go by, it's got tires, it can't be punctured. It's a nice machine. Now we live a good life. We live an excellent life. Did you say that your wife or had someone in your attic? Did I catch that right earlier? You said you'd shot into the ceiling because your wife had stationed people in your ceiling. What happened there?

Right. Just an oversight. Was that like a Santa Claus thing? Oh, I forgot to tell you. Now, you guys should Google us, all right? Is I, you know, how I met Janice? Janice, was it working in Miami when I went out of prison in Guatemala? First lady I looked at, that's how I got to a South Beach.

You know, she had a pimple. And obviously she was going to be faithful to her pimped fur as many years as possible. So in the attic, she had sequestered a few gangsters. I'm very alert to my surroundings and I'm really pulled up just to one started trying to the ceiling. Yeah. Well, did leave. Janice is here to verify the story if you doubt this. No, I doubted. How did that relationship change? I mean, that is a fascinating relationship and power struggle to deal with in like a weird way of phrase. But listen, I'm not an idiot.

Good God. Matter as a professional woman on the streets of South Beach and Miami. Holy fuck, what would you expect? Insignality? If so, stop smoking rainbows people because this is not a life works. I knew what I was in for. But Janice, one of the smartest and most street, competent people

I have ever met was way too valuable to me to let trivialities like hiding gangsters in our addicts to bother me. You're right, his life doesn't touch reality at any point. It's surreal. It's like if it's amazing. He painted someone's life. Right. You have last time you called, I asked you for advice for our virgins.

We've got a bunch of virgins, guys, we've never had sex in a contest together. And you said to walk up to him. Which you have a hard time believing. Yes, I remember that. Walk up one, walk up to women one by one and ask them to have sex with you a guy actually tried that and it did not work for him do you have

any more advice for the virgins they are asked what words you actually used please i think he said do you want to have sex with me would you like to have sex with me he's a a very upstanding polite man. So I would never say anything as bizarre as that. Okay. Walk up to the women, smile and say, I love your sweater. Okay. Would you like to fuck?

No, I'm saying would you have to exit me? No woman is going to respond to that shit. But if you follow that down, they're going to be wearing a sweater, which is not wearing a sweater, it's just saying I love you. Oh, wearing something. Yeah. Your eyes, or your eye shadow, or your hair,

it doesn't matter. What matters is, you've got to say, would you like to fuck? Because it's visceral Yeah, out of ten women are gonna slap you silly. Oh, I was gonna go I Like your honesty So it's got to be that specific phrase Do you want to fuck?

Shocking enough to get attention. We'd like to have sex with me. I mean, I wouldn't, I mean, if a woman came up to me, it was like a section that I'd go, uh, no, are you crazy? No, if they would come and said, would you like to pork me? Like to pork me? How about we go to my apartment? I could naked, and you'd tie me up and blindfold me, well, yes. That's all so easy. Like nice, nice nice dress nice shoes. Would you like to see me in them? We go back to my place. Can I try them on? Something like that. What would you say to a whale? Okay, wait, we have we also had a disagreement right before you called in. How many go ahead? I would say something like hold still. you won't feel the thing because I'm sure they

would not feel the thing. Very good. Do you think it would be gay if a guy had a, if a guy led another guy suck his dick because he couldn't set up a friends with benefits situation with any girl. We've got a caller who wanted to know if that made him gay. It depends on how much money they're offering you. I mean, I can't know what they're offering. You told me I'm not for free. You are fucking no. It is not gay. To have, I don't know, to let you see naked pictures of his sister or give you a thousand

dollars or promise to obey every fucking command for the next year, I don't know. What's the negotiation here? No, he just said that his friend would, his friend would come over and suck his dick whenever he wanted to and wanted to know if that made him gay. Oh, I don't fucking know. Why should I care? I don't know. He thinks. It has to go that comes over and it has him suck his dick. I could give it. Yeah, then he would be an interviciality. that 100% would make him a zoo file if a goat came over and

sucked his dick every day well you know I try not to class for five people I try not to give people labels that's the problem in the world everybody's got a fucking label he's gay he's straight he's right sex but he's tri-sexual, you know, what's the good answer, Veronica? I'm not label. I'm not label who's getting his dick sucked my whom. Oh, yeah, I wanted to ask you last time, you, you promised that big

dump of secret information on government officials. Do you still have that? Well, you know what, um, I have been chased throughout the Caribbean. Run out of Cuba because the US demanded me back. Okay. Collective in the Dominican Republic for the same fucking reason. Yeah. No, I'm not going to release that shit.

I mean, I am in hell and if I'm in the cool West, it is. I mean, I'm afraid they might nuke everything that's not the US just to get me if I do much more. Yeah, that's smart. I guess let me see. Let me see what else I had here. I saw your, I watched the documentary on you too.

You've probably heard this question about a million times, but everybody wanted me to ask about the hammock pooping stories in that documentary. Do you have any, have you ever commented on that? Well, I mean, I don't know. I mean, no one has asked how much the girls are paying me. I mean, none of that shit.

No, my sexual life, whatever it is, whatever Janice and I, or whoever I'm married to Janice, whatever she and I choose to do in the privacy of our fucking bedroom is not anybody's business. Yeah, I love that. I agree. I feel ashamed for asking you the question in fact, but everyone was telling me to do it. I want to charge you at next to $20 for this interview. Uh, I, I, I love you. Thank you for calling in.

Have you picked out your entire cabinet for your presidency, which I am 100% sure you will win. I'm all in for your president, for your presidential campaign. If you could carve out any small, tiny piece for me. If I could walk your presidential whale or whatever you have or you know carry your nuclear football, it would be a great honor. Clean your hammock.

Clean your hammock for you. I really appreciate your calls, though, Mr. McAfee. Thank you for calling in. Well, can we be honest with one of four change? Yes. We want to pour a change. If you believe my friend, or if anybody listening to this podcast believes that I have a rat's chance in hell of being arrested, then stop smoking rainbows and glue out of your mouth of space, because you need a dose of reality. I can't be the president. Jesus, God, people.

I'm just accessing the national stage. Yeah. China light on the decay and corruption that has infiltrated our entire government in all of our high level institutions. So thank you, Rick. It really has. We got to get rid of the Patriot Act. So thank you very much. It really has. We got to get rid of the Patriot Act.

We got to be in president. Oh, yeah. Shine a light on these fucking dark places filled with cobwebs and shwrap shit. And you put a label like I'm running for president on it. Suddenly, suddenly everything you say changes, like, oh, it's serious now. The serious time we go seriously listen to it.

Uh, you're the president of our hearts, whether you win the actual election or not. All right. Uh, you're the president of our hearts, whether you win the actual election or not. All right. Well, thank you very much. If you guys, you guys have been great. And if you ever want me back on work through Janice, uh, she's absolutely tough, but she's fair. Uh, I, I, she's my boss. I do want you to say, sorry.

Yeah. Uh, thank you, sir. McAfee McAfee decks. Check it out. I get some of this D.A.I. Thank you. We will. We absolutely will be in touch. Stay safe. Thank you very much. Bye, bye. Thank you. Bye, bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. was, yeah, that was great. What'd you think? It's so fucking interesting.

My head is just overflowing right now with information. Yeah. Some of it I don't even understand. So I was just floating in space when he was talking, but he's very, very intelligent. He leads an interesting life, very slowly. Well, no stupid person is gonna be running for so long. So, yeah.

Yeah. Right away. Yeah. But the bulletproof car. I'm gonna see that. Yeah. I think if I had one of those, it would just be covered in bullet shots from you. Yeah, me.

Driving around. Shoot it. Shoot it. Shoot it. Shoot it. Shoot it. Shoot it. Shoot it.

Shoot it. Shoot it. Shoot it. Shoot it. Shoot get to some news. Now I'm not gay. Okay, I was gonna say we'll have to. Let me be clear. If I had to pick a 5, 10 girl or a 10 out of 10 good looking guy to fuck, I'd pick the girl, hands down every time. Yeah, but if the guy sucks a good dick, then he just goes for a guy. Well, that's kind of, I think there's a Zen property to that, because how can you suck a good,

how can a straight man get a good dick sucked by a gay guy? That's my, it's still a blowjob. It doesn't matter if it's from a guy or a goat or a girl. Or a machine. Yeah. The machine is the best blowjob machine is not as good as the worst actual woman doing it

So that's a fun job done It still gets the job done and it's fun to it's a fun couples toy as well and man Let me tell you it'll turn a it'll turn a two-hour jerk off times time What do we call that two out two hour jerk off time? Time session two eight five minute one. Yeah, okay. Whether you like it or not. It's a nice.

Ah, so it can, but the girls, better. Always better. Yeah. And more expensive. I'm straight. All that's happening is I'm just nutting into a dude's mouth, similar to masturbation. Yeah. I don't see anything wrong with that.

Well, masturbation is not nutting into a dude's mouth. Well, he can be a manting into a dude's mouth. I... He can be a man. I will draw a distinction. Maybe this was he's imagining, or some other guys are imagining when they masturbate. A guy's mouth. Well, who cares what we think, Sean? Veronica is really the only demo that matters if you're worried about what you have.

But then, do they plan on going in a deeper or this is just about blow jobs or... Well, you've dealt with guys before. Are they ever satisfied with just a little bit uh... uh... the same mindset as you and shan both nutting into those blow job machines nope zero-traction never did that zero-traction do you want to

no zero-traction and thinking about other women the whole time if i could snap my fingers and make him a woman with tits and a vagina i would do it from from the start. I would absolutely know Homo. It's a win for both of us. He doesn't mind. He doesn't mind me watching porn at all. Now you're describing a relationship. So yeah, you're in a relationship with this guy. He doesn't mind me watching porn. But the guy is already dating somebody. Yeah. The guy is. And he's a hobby. Wow. Too much dick stuff. And he's a hobby. Wow. Too much dick stuff.

And why does this even matter? Like, what does, does he want to be labeled? Like he said, like, why do we need to label people? I would have some questions about my sexuality and my, my state of mind. If I was willing to let a guy come over and suck my dick because I couldn't get a friend with benefits situation or a girlfriend going, I would have some big time questions about what I was doing with my life. Yeah, he sounds like he's debating that.

He sounds like he's a little worried about that he might be gay, like it's a bad thing. So he's like, he kind of, I think he was probably hoping for like a little rubber stamp or maybe he was just curious. But the failure has, like, as he lays it out, the failure has led to this situation. Yeah. Like this wasn't a choice. This is if this is several failures turning into this. So, well, then he just got the offer basically. But, at the end of the day, how did that come up?

I don't know. I think, in the end of the day, you just have to think of what really gets you hard. Then if it's a guy sucking on your cog, then it's, it's the kid who's. They go for it. But if it's some other visuals, then maybe he's by. It's fine.

Like, why does it matter, man? Like really, just, well, he's 16. So he's, no, this is different guy. Oh, really? Well, whatever. Still, yeah, you're probably really concerned about that kind of stuff.

Like, oh, well, yeah, but it, what, he should be, that's the most, I'm this, that's the most I'm this I'm the most thing you need to worry about. Give it time. It'll figure yourself out. Just keep it safe. Any fun. Anyway, he offered to be my friends with benefits. So I've smoked with him and let him smoke my cock about four times since he offered a week ago. Wow. This is the same email. I see it as I can jerk off once a day, no problem. Then I could probably let this dude suck me off once in a while, no home.

And so it's like a thing, I'm not a smoker if I don't buy the pack. I just bum a few days from like, this guy, right? Yeah, I'm not a smoker. I don't buy it. Yeah. I'll smoke the weed if you got it. Yeah.

Once in a while, you know, look as I keep it down to, I don't buy it. I'll smoke the way to be guided. Yeah, once in a while, you know, look as I keep it down to, but could this process risk me getting comfortable and no longer trying harder to pursue any chicks? Yeah, because you're fucking gay. Or maybe I could keep enjoying the free blow jobs and avoid the bullshit of dating for a while. Here are the main factor in all of this though.

I have joined the Navy. Oh, 800% gay. here the main factor in all of this though i have joined the navy uh... a hundred percent ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha from either decision. Yeah, they're fucking it. Oh boy. Trying to pursue a relationship will be pointless if I am eventually deployed to Japan or Italy. Well, I mean, if I'm trying to pursue the relationship, you might as well get your dick sucked by a guy. That's my, anyone graduate of the college, you're going to college anyway, just get, just suck each other's dick

since it's time to come. That's your way. Trying to pursue a relationship will be pointless if I'm eventually deployed to Japan or Italy where there'll be babes of plenty. That's gonna change. Babes of plenty. That's going to change babes of plenty in Italy and Japan and unlike America where it's a bunch of stuffy breads visiting a US military young man like me. What do you think about his? I still think it's not a big

deal and he'll figure it out. Maybe when he gets back, he can send us an update. But I just love it's the Navy. Just don't stress it. What should I do? Enjoy having personal mail. But yeah, okay, buddy, you're going to, you're going to do it anyway. So who cares? Right?

Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. Meet some cool chick, like probably the girls he's meeting is just, they're, just too difficult Maybe this would just turn him off completely and Man if you can be gay, just do it. That sounds fucking fantastic Who cares? Yeah, all right there you go. There's okay Okay, can you read some news?

I didn't set that one Doesn't matter which one I'm starting with it doesn't know you one up. You buy the dick show. Okay. Doesn't matter which one I'm starting with, it doesn't. No, you can read them straight down the list. JetBlue workers homeless Halloween costume, upsets Puerto Rican community. So there was a JetBlue employee in social media that was jailed for coming to work on Halloween as a homeless person from the Caribbean.

The outfit consists of ripped up white pants, red flannel and a sign that said homeless need help trying to get back home to Puerto Rico or Cuba. Many Twitter users were triggered and let the company know. JetBlue encourages their employees to dress up, but are extremely unhappy with his employee costume and made a public apology to anyone who was offended. And I looked it up later and JetBlue actually flies to Puerto Rico. And Cuba. So that's why he gathered the evidence.

So offensive. So offensive. Just the dumbest thing in the world to tell people to dress up and give them their own personal 10 minutes of comedy time on your, I don't want to see anybody dressed up on this fucking plane.

I don't want to go into Ralph since anybody dressed up. I don't want a cop to come up dressed as a clown. Oh God. Pulling me over to give, just save it. Save it for pretend that you have friends and that you could do this on your own tight and we don't need to be subjected to it.

Sure. Just pretend, pretend that you're not going home after this and heating up some oatmeal and watching the office for two hours until you fall asleep. Just pretend. But they're trying to make one day in a year, little special and they feel like, oh, let's trying to make one day in a year little special. And they feel like, oh, let's just dress up.

Let's make this little fun. Yeah. Whoops. He probably wanted to get fired. And have nice things. Like a pathway to getting fired. Oh, that's true. Okay, what's the next one?

Men who advocated canning for adultery gets canning. Canning. Canning, it's where they hit you with a crack I thought you said canning though. They put him in a they put him in a no I know what it is No, I know what it is So I say it canning canning for adultery gets came for adultery and Indonesian man was publicly flocked for adultery. Thanks to a law. He helped He helped create the man. Mulkis is a member of the

Asseg, Ulema Council, which advises the local government to implement Sharia law. Mulkis. Boy, hoist the fire on retard. He got 28 lashes in front of a crowd last Thursday after being caught and bed with the married woman who say in the Vahab the deputy region of ASE made a public statement and matter no matter who you are if you violate Islamic law you will be whipped. He's still grandstanding about the Islamic law while he's getting cained. You're doing it. What's wrong with those guys? I don't know. What country was this Indonesian? Indonesia.

Yeah, but it can be any. Well, Indonesia is a bunch of islands. Yeah. I mean, guys who try to punish shit that we all want to do. Like, what are you, why are you doing this to us? Man, can't you help us like relax? That says in the book. Social, yeah.

All right. Can you just interpret it a different way? Do you have to be such a hot penis about everything? No, man, once you know the truth, you can't claim that you don't. But the caning overall, is that a bad thing, you think? Yeah, I think it can permanently fuck you up. I guess it can permanently like paralyze you. guess it's like you like Paralyze you I

Cuz it's not it's not like a sexy where they hit you and how hard they hit me No, they won't it's like a stronger whip, but still no, I've like I mean, I've seen videos They have it in Singapore and it works. It works for in what way does it work the people behave? Oh better I mean, it's not something you'd probably want to have happen. No. But that's why you don't like shopping the hands out. It's too, right? In Singapore.

Yeah, it's more like a Turkey and stuff. Okay. What's next? What's the next one? Men arrested for allegedly handing out razor blades with Halloween candy. Thirty-seven year old men was arrested. They couldn't Connecticut on Halloween after razor blades were found candy. 37-year-old men was arrested, a Connecticut on Halloween after razor blades were found in the candy banks of at least two trigger treaters.

This actually finally happened for real? Investigators were able to find a house the blades came from and arrested Jason Ratz. When questioned about the razor blades, Ratz explained that the razor blades had accidentally spilled into the same bowl he had been handing candy out of. The razors were not found in the candy, just with the candy. What difference does it make? And who even, like, what are you doing? And what situation do you have candy and razors in the same room? Or nearby? Or nearby? Right next to each other? Yeah. Exhibently spills one into the other?

So strange. Well, that myth has bought another 20 years of life. I guess. That sucks. That sucks because it finally actually happened. Yeah. And it doesn't seem to get hurt anyway, so. Well, free razor blades.

Oh, yeah. Go shave, go. Shirley said she's calling in five minutes. Hey, how about that? All right. Okay. Okay, so I have to be faster than... No, no, you can't.

Violent and drunk monkeys attack tourists in Paradise Beach in Thailand. The monkeys of Fifi Island, a tourist beach in Thailand, are tired of tourists not cheering their snacks. The monkeys are hungry. The monkeys win their're upset at tourists and do cute monkey things to distracted tourists. Oh, I can imagine this very well. Still their drinks. Once the tourists have their phones out, the monkeys have been recorded stealing food, beer, and even attacking people. These monkeys have been known to lash out when they're hungry,

despite tourists thinking they are friendly. The monkeys known asquis. I don't know how you say it. Macax. Macax. Our known for being particularly gang-like. In one instance, a group of ten attacked a man after he got off his scooter. Wow. But everybody gets kinda annoyed when they're hungry.

Like, I get hangry too, so I can understand the monkey a little bit. The monkeys are doing tricks, Sean. Yeah. That's what we know. The monkeys have figured it out. Again, a human like behavior. That's why we got to go crypto as soon as possible. Thank you, Veronica.

You love him. Thank you for reading our monkey news. Thank you for having me. Yeah. I forgot what I was going to ask. It's understandable. You want to wait for Shirley? She said she's calling five minutes.

Yeah. If you don't want to keep me out. No, no, I do not want to kick you out. Please stay there. Did you talk about Archo? I did. The lesbian Archo. I think I overheard something. Oh, here we go. You have no idea how happy this makes me, Sean. Yeah, this reunion. Oh, I'm so happy you're happy. Hi, Shirley, this is Dick. Hello, Dick, long time no seat. Long time no seat. You're on the, you're on the show. My audio engineer, Sean, is here in Veronica LaVaria's also in the studio. She's playing in the news girl. Thank you so much for calling in. My pleasure. I hope your life has been just wonderful after that stupid show we were on together.

Oh, well, that's one thing we certainly agree on, isn't it? Oh my God, that was such an embarrassment. Oh my gosh. It was such an embarrassment. As I told you on the email that I've been looking for those tapes for 10 years. And this week, somebody in, I think Sweden found them.

Well, I've got all of them, but I went about to give them up. I didn't wait to see the darn things. Are you kidding me? You've got all of them? Well, now they're out. And now they're, now they're totally out. So you can just release yours. Oh no, I, oh my gosh.

You know, that was part, just so you know that was part of our agreement. Well, it's part of your agreement. They were not allowed to show them. Yeah. And they're not, they're really actually not allowed to be shown. They're, um, that's part of our agreement. They, they, they can't show them, they can't sell them, they can't show them in another country. They're dead. Oh my god. Well, they were. So what happened? How did this agreement, how was this agreement reached? Because I honestly, I left the Dr. Phil House and I had like full on psychological trauma.

I was dating a girl who said I would scream in my sleep and I was like a different person after being in that house and staying in character. I mean, I was obviously just doing a bit. Like that was a joke for me. i'm i apologize for all the horrible things that i they made me say to you uh... but i had to do it you know i was it

go ahead i could see right through you i i know you were nice guy i really good i don't know if i'm a nice guy but it was a it was a thick i mean it was it it was such BS and we were used to entertain Phil McGraw. Yeah bottom line that's sick facel film But I got in good. I got in really good. What did you do? What happened after the show? I hadn't thought about it until afterwards and then all of a sudden all the episodes were gone I'm not I really I'm not at liberty to talk about it, but you know, I did sue them. Oh.

You didn't know that? You didn't know that I offended it. I read stuff about that, but I didn't know it's true. I also didn't know you weren't allowed to talk about it. Yeah, I have, I'm a gag order. I think I can, you know, I have to go back and check it, but I just know I can't disclose the settlement. Yeah, okay.

That makes sense. All right. Yeah, I mean, I did't disclose the settlement. Yeah, okay. That makes sense. All right. Yeah, I mean, I get, but I will say I bought my daughter a nice new Mercedes. What the hell? How come I wasn't involved in this last suit? Because you perpetrated bad feelings. I want to fucking suit. Who did I get a Mercedes out of it?

Why didn't you ask me? Uh-oh. Did we lose her? No, no. Still there. But at least she told us about a mercenary. There she is, there she is. Shirley, why didn't you ask me to get on the lawsuit? We dropped your call for a second, but you're back now.

Oh, you're lucky when you dropped it. I said, you were, you said, why could you be on there? I said, well, what can I say? Women are just smarter than men. God damn it, God damn it. So after all of this shit, I got nothing. But everyone hates me and you got a free car. Oh man. No, it wasn't. Trust me that what we went through, I swear to God, it was, it was, people don't

understand. They really don't understand. I mean, I get this like, oh, well, look, you got all this and I'm like, you don't understand. I would not do like oh well look at you got all the time like you don't understand i would not do that again for anything all the money the world that was to your health the way we would agree to it and treated like garbage makes me sick oh yeah that's the entertainment industry yeah how did you end up there by the way you know it's so funny that's an interesting because I'm going to ask you the same thing.

But I had never seen the Dr. Phil show. I mean, I'd seen advertisements for it and all that, but I never really sat down and watched it. Really? And I was, it was so funny. I had gotten a pulled over in Irvine for running a stop sign. And I didn't run the stop sign. And I was so mad at this cop, I swear to God,

I screamed everything, I'm surprised he didn't arrest me. I got so angry, I even told the cop, I said, I hope you're white, divorcing you, and can't say every dime you make. I mean, I was screaming at him because I didn't run the stop sign. Right. Anyway, to make a long story short, I was assuming.

So I went home that night and I saw this something coming on to Dr. Phil Schoel. I don't even remember. I thought, oh, that sounds interesting. So I googled Dr. Phil, right? And then I'm reading different stuff about the show. And then it says, have you ever done, you know, run into, you know, it was a question. And I answered the question about this, this cop, right? And I just looked like, you know, he's disgusting. And if I was, I said, if I was, you just filled out a form on Dr. Phil's website, like, I hate this

cop. That's it. That's kind of. I swear to God. And so what was, and then I said, if I was, I said, if I had a cute little ass and big tip he wouldn't have get he wouldn't have given me a ticket. Is it true? And so they took that as I hated men. So but I didn't know it. I didn't know it at the time. Okay. Well, not right. You would take it right now. I'm sorry. No, no, go ahead. Go ahead. I said one year later to the day. One year later, I got a phone call and they said, oh, we'd like for you to be on the show.

And they said, oh, and I had commented that I hadn't dated in like 12 years. And they said, oh, have you dated? And I said, no, I still haven't dated. I have no desire to. They said, well, we'd love to have you come on the show and talk about it. I was supposed to come on the show and talk about it, I was supposed to come on the show and talk about dating. That's what I was talking about on the show for. Oh, man. And I thought you were like this big, like they, I mean, I just assumed that how they

introduced you is you hate men and you came on specifically to shit on men. Your story has nothing to do with it. No, absolutely nothing. As a matter of fact, when, when, I don't know, if you look at that first show, when he says, uh, surely I understand you, you hate man. And if you look at my face, I'm like, huh? And I didn't, and I don't know what it was, but see, they know psychologically, they know you don't want to embarrass him. I don't want to call him a liar.

Yeah. No, they did that the whole time is they say things and make you disagree with them the whole time And then they cut your response where you agree just because it's a natural reality and reality television Oh, that's I say that and I kind of laughed making the joke out of it because I knew he was lying I remember that I remember you making the joke out of it because I knew he was lying I remember that I remember you making that joke. Yeah I never said I never said that and I'll tell you when they were recording me at my house yeah might they would not leave and I said you my daughter I have to take her to a beach party she's late you guys have got to get out of here they

would not leave I finally got in my car I, lock up when you pack your equipment. I'm out of here. And I took off and the girl comes running at me with a camera. She goes, sure, sure, surely. She says, she says, what, just say one thing, what I have to go. I have to go. What do you want to say you hate me? I hate man. I hate man. And I can't lie. And I can't lie. That's how they open the damn show with these things. I hate man. I suck it into that. Like you wouldn't believe. All that stuff, the not show. What are you saying? I hate men. I just fuck it into that like you wouldn't believe. All that stuff, they're not leaving. That's all designed to get you to blow up.

To get you to blow up. It's all about reaction. Yeah. Like how they had us sharing one bathroom all week for six people and waking up at five thirty to do the shot. They want people on their worst behavior. The thing is, I woke up early and I go to bed late. I mean, I had I had two teenagers at the time The last thing I do is sleep, you know, I'm always making sure they're home and I left yeah

So when they did that bathroom trick. I was the first one up. I went and took a shower I was fine. Yeah, and if you recall they could not make me mad Why else do you think they brought that naked man on there and that? Well, I also remember that you wouldn't sleep in the same room as me well i think i had a teenage girl that was fourteen i think i want to tell her it's okay for me to sleep in the same room with the guy and they were trying to set me up and if you look at the tape

the next one you were not talking they made you think that i slept there right uh... i thought you said that uh... yeah you know what I'd have to look at it again but I just have my memory which is you sleep in the couch. What were you doing sleeping and you said what were you doing sleeping in in the room with a man last night referring to you and I and I said yes I said guess what I didn't sleep in that room I slept on the couch and you did have no idea I slept on the couch, or you were asleep. I remember that I felt bad about it

that you slept on the couch, but I was like, well, I can't go, I don't want to do it. So what? They did that on purpose. They were so disgusting. Oh my God. You're not just going to do that.

So what about the naked man? I was when I remember, I remember when the naked man showed up and you totally melted down, you and that other girl, Crystal. It was humiliating. Well, you know, Crystal, Crystal joined the lawsuit with me, you knew that, right?

Did she get free car too? She could have, yeah. And she wanted. The car is for everybody, sure. Yeah, for me. Well, you know, I mean, and we had good attorneys. These attorneys were not low lives. These attorneys were for my church.

And we had, we got two attorneys. I got one attorney for my church. He said, surely they're bringing in the big guns. Let me bring in another attorney. They were very high professional attorneys. God's gonna talk them on this one. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. going to become on this one. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. And so we went after him. Do you know that they, do you know what a slap motion is? Mm-hmm. Yeah, we have a little legal education in this show for various reasons. Well, he followed a slap motion on me. Yeah.

And that's why it was so hard. All these attorneys were afraid they'd follow a flat motion. Well, it's a lot of you who follow the flat motion. I wasn't doing him because he's a celebrity. Right. Make a long story short. Seven judges or appeals by Dr. Phil. He lost them all.

I can't believe that. I mean, they did treat us like shit, but I figured it's just show business. We could have left anytime, so it's our fault, but the judges didn't see it that way, huh? No, we couldn't have left anytime. Did you see Crystal and I try to leave? Yeah, I saw them of bamboozle, you guys,

and lie about Dr. Phil coming, and he wasn't, and you'll be able to talk to them. They lie, I mean, they did lie. I don't know. I don't know. Do you remember that gate, that fence all the way around? Do you remember how tall that was? That would be a 20-foot, 20-foot, I think.

So, I don't remember that. Now, here's the thing. I got to tell you guys, this is a funny story. Okay. We couldn't remember what the Dr. Phil house was. Could you remember where it's at? Yeah, it's orange and sunset. Because I've been there as an actor.

And afterwards, I've worked at that studio after the show. Oh my God. That's right there. Yeah, it's right there. I couldn't find it because I needed to take pictures for the lawsuit, right? And I couldn't remember what it was. Should've put me in the lawsuit.

I'll help you out of that right away. I lived right around there. I could've gotten. Should have put me in the lawsuit. I'll help you out of that right away. I lived right around there. I got an abentley. That's funny. Well, I called. It was so funny. I called the studio and I said, hi, I said, this, my name is Linda.

I said, I'm supposed to be at the studio, the doctor feels studio. Yeah. And I can't find it was the address. And so then they said, oh, I said, they said, oh, you're on the, and on the set, I said, I'm in production on the PA.

Yeah. And they said, oh, okay, and they gave me the address. They fell for it. So I went through and I took pictures. But the funny thing is, I had just got a new phone, and I wasn't sure how to take pictures. And I pushed the wrong button, and I swear to God, I stopped the camera.

And it would have been, oh my God, this would have been so great. It was some bomb, sleeping at the front door. Yeah. And someone in the doctor's field office that worked there came out and threw a bucket of water on it. Oh my god. Can you imagine what I could have done with that film? Yeah. Yeah. I was so sad. Yeah, yeah, I was that But anyway, oh, I will tell you I get my biggest question my biggest question I couldn't wait to have answered yeah was wine Why did you think it was necessary to bring a naked man in front of me? Well, didn't you fill out that form?

Remember they sent everybody a questionnaire before the show saying, what's your, they said this form spreads specifically, who would you not want to have dinner with? Do you remember that thing? We're gonna make that happen. I know, I know, I know. Oh yeah, they sent this form to everybody. It said, what's your biggest fear?

It had a bunch of stupid questions about your personality and your social security and stuff. And then it said, very specifically, who's the last person the world you'd want to have dinner with who would you want to have dinner with I you must have put something about a newtus on that for no I think no I think I know you know that he was a little freaking new this he was a cameraman no it was naked but he wasn't a newtive. Well, that's a difference. I put the differences. And he was new to intimidate me. And he wasn't, didn't go to a newtive camp on the weekends.

Oh, OK. All right. Oh, you might be right. You're probably right. So do you know why they, what their answer was to my attorney? No, what? We were, we wanted to test her tolerance. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They said they were gonna... You know my answer to that one when I heard that. I said, well, now you know, don't you? Yeah, they said they were gonna take me, because I put heights on my form. And I remember when I filled it out, I knew what they were gonna do with it. So I put shit like heights and spiders, stupid stuff.

They said one of the producers told me they were going to take me up into a skydiving thing. They're going to take me up into a plane and have me skydiving so they could get footage of me freaking out. But then they decided they canceled the last minute because they didn't think I'd freak out. He's not going to freak out. He'll just have fun skydiving.

So we're not going to do that. Yeah, that's true. I can see you not freaking out on that. No, they, the whole thing that they wanted to get a reaction. Yeah. They couldn't get a reaction out of you or me. I mean, you are so cool. I have to admit, you were cool.

Thank you. I agree. And my problem is I talk loud. My whole life, I've talked really loud. Yeah. So people think I'm yelling. And I'm not yelling. I'm just talking because you're probably hearing me talk loud now. This is the way I talk

Sounds it's really taking me back. I got to tell you is We're gonna take me back 10 12 years whatever it was the sound of your voice I'm old now. I'm almost 40 now 39. I we I walked by we went to Hollywood Veronica and I went to Hollywood the big parade the costume parade a couple nights ago And we walked by the restaurant they took us to to eat that one night where they took us out I mean, that was probably the only that was probably the nicest thing that happened to us when we're there with that dinner that they They yeah, well because I can't they can't abuse you in public right no, right? We just get to have a nice meal

Mm-hmm. They were extremely abusive. Well, you know, Dr If you look at that, that's another thing when when doctor told was talking to me I don't know if you remember this. I'm curious if you're looking right at your chest Yes, thank you and and he put his hand on my breath and said you don't ever have to Put up with this again or something like that. I don't remember that. And I think it myself, I'm thinking, is he touching my breath?

And I was like, I didn't feel comfortable about it. Yeah. And that was part of the lawsuit too. You got a me too, his ass now. I gotta tell you something, the me too movement was out. I would I would But the thing is I don't want that I don't want that notoriety. Yeah, of course, yeah Of course not one work a lot later

He's a that man is Nuts. Yeah, he is crazy. I mean people don't realize how crazy this man is I mean, people don't realize how crazy this man is. I think a lot of us do. Surely I was going on as a joke. A lot of us know how crazy Dr. Phil is. Well, that's true. And you did tell me you were going on as a joke. And you were trying to promote your book at the same time.

Which I commend you for that. I don't have anything against that. Thank you. Hell, why not? You got a book too, right? Like, you had this whole interesting life before that. The wrangling girls for Elvis or something like that i was engaged to Elvis's road manager joe spasito who i should and

pardon me i said no shit we have we live together for like six years so i traveled on the road as you'll pass away two years ago and uh... deeply miss uh... i would he was He'll pass away two years ago and deeply missed. I married someone else and he married someone else, but we still talked on the phone probably four times a week. So anyway, it was just a good guy. So I traveled on the road with Elvis.

I wrote a book called Memphis Mafia Princess, which has done very well. Actually, it sold out the hard back. So we have the paperbacks, or you can buy through Amazon. Of course, if you sell through Amazon, Amazon takes like 90% of your... Yeah, you do. ...the crazy. But the book's done really well.

And I'm actually writing another book, but it's about leasing and purchasing because i own a um... i'm a carb broker i own a carb brokerage company uh... call the lease factor and thank you doctor feel for helping me get that business started and i can't believe i'm the one that got fucked the most that an old thing uh... i'm a huge elvis fan that do you have any uh... elvis behind the scene elvis stories like one's that are in your book and what and what period was this? Yeah, yeah, the last four the last four years of his life. Okay, so you know

Did you know a hair stylist named Larry by chance? I won't say the last name. Oh, yeah, yeah, I know Larry Oh, yeah, I know his son really well Yeah, I know Larry too, but I mean, it's been years since I've talked to him, but yeah Well, I think he's living in Arizona now I think Larry has, but I mean, it's been years since I've talked to him, but yeah, well, I think he's living in Arizona now I think Larry has got some shampoo and hair products that he's selling but The inner circle like didn't like him and then others did and then he was in and then he was out and then he was in Oh, you mean Larry? Yeah, yeah Well, put the in the galo jealous of of Larry and I you know I like I don't

have anything against Larry yeah just carry us go ahead started E.R.L. and Elvis was like really into you know spiritual books yes very yes and so what would happen it is towards the end Larry came back on the thing because he had left for a while yeah came back on the thing and he brought all these books for Elvis to read because Elvis was brilliant. He could have been a doctor. I mean, he's just like so smart. A lot of books, you know? And so he loved to read all these books.

And so they would try to say, come on, Elvis, we gotta go this and he'd go, wait, wait, and Larry would bring these books and they couldn't get them out of the room and get them to stop reading the books. To go on stage, you know? So they were getting a little irritated with Larry. But then you're Larry didn't do any wrong. Larry really cared about irritated with Larry, but then you're Larry didn't do anything wrong.

Larry really cared about Elvis. You know, I mean, he didn't do anything wrong. But, this, you know, everybody split when Elvis passed away. I mean, it's like everybody was mad at this one, mad at that one. But you know what? I gotta tell ya, I'm up there in the upper, upper on Shalant, as we would say.

I mean, Priscilla and I are still friends. Jerry and I are still friends. Wow. Jerry. Until the day he died. I don't know that. Gary Schilling. Oh, Schilling, I'm sorry. Not Schiff. She's just a bass player. Yeah. Jerry Shiff, I think with the guys on the band and the band. Yes. Yes. He was. Yeah. Shalant. As a matter of fact, you know, who I called when I was in the limo leaving Doctor Field, they sent a limo. Ooh,, would be to pick up me and Crystal. Hey, do you know? I was in the back seat.

Did you hear about the limo driver that I made flip out and throw all my luggage in the street? No, tell me about it. I gotta get that with you. No, this was the best. This was my favorite moment in Dr. Phil. So after that studio show,

where everybody was booing us and stuff, and they put us in limos and then took us to the house where we were gonna stay for five days. The camera guy, the camera guy that I was with, after I got loaded into the limo, he put his camera down and he said, hey, all right, Dick, I'm in a level with you. I know why you're here, we both know why you're here.

And the more insane things you say and do, the more airtime you will get, okay? And I said, yep, I got it. Let's go. So he holds up the camera and he starts interviewing me and I start saying, I start really laying it on thick. Like the thing that I was saying before were bad but then I start going like, women this, women this

and the driver starts, like the driver starts really getting out of control. I'm getting knocked around and we're kind of having to, I'm noticing that things are going. That's being a female or a male driver. Female driver. I'm kind of, I have to like or male drive. Female, female driver. I'm kind of, I have to like brace myself and she's making all these turns. She says we're here and the camera guy is not paying attention to her at all.

He's just entirely focused on me. And he tells her to keep going around because he's getting so much gold in these interviews. So she finally stops on sunset. One of these screeching stops over something I said about single mothers probably screeches to a stop Throws it in park kicks the door open stomps out. She goes I am not listening to another second of this Throat opens the trunk and starts just throwing my bags into the street like so I'm and I get out I'm like what the hell is this is all my shit. What is this is obviously some kind of a bit right like this is I'm thinking This is wrestling and this is some kind of, so I stand there,

I go in the back and I'm worried because I think I went too far, like normal human reaction. The camera guy comes out, I think he's gonna calm her down because this is dangerous what we're doing. He gets out, puts his camera up, gets her doing it and then just turns the camera to me.

And I say, well, this is why you don't hire women to do a man's job like driving because they can't handle it when anything is, turns the camera to me. And I say, well, this is why you don't hire women to do a man's job like driving because they can't handle it when anything is so, I just stand in the street, be raiding this poor woman who's throwing all my shit into the street. She gets in the car, drives away.

I go sit down, I go sit in the parking lot behind the house and the camera guy comes over, the camera guy comes over, puts the camera down and starts laughing. Go, oh man, brilliant. That was one of the greatest things I've ever seen on this show. They can't use a second of this footage. Really?

Oh, fucking thanks a lot, man. Too much. Yeah, because it was, I don't know why, because we don't get to it, because they're worried about getting sued. Yeah, I'm sure. Obviously, they sent an executive producer, came out and apologized for the whole thing, for the, how it was dangerous, but yeah, that was my limit. Oh, wow.

Good time. Wow, they didn't apologize. Oh, well, actually, they did. You know, when after I left, they called me and they said, um, Dr. Phil, um, no, Dr., what was the other doctor's name? I never met him. I know the one you're talking about, but the skinny guy with gray hair, right? Yeah, yeah, he wanted to talk to me.

And I said, no, I said, let me talk to Dr. Phil's pastor. Let me talk to him and tell him what happened. Yeah. Oh, no, oh, no. Well, he, love, what do you, lawless, lawless, Dr. Lawless. Lawless. He called and he left a message on my, on my answering machine, on my voice mail or whatever.

And apologizing and saying, I'm sorry, I didn't know they would have been the naked man on and he told me he just solidified everything. I didn't even need any. I mean, I had all the tapes, but I mean, he totally solidified everything. He said he had no idea that the guy was going to walk in there naked. Well, I don't know. Somebody had an idea he was going to walk in there because Dr. Phil introduced him. Oh, you knew before? Yeah, I don't know why, but I like, I remember the filling out that forum and I thought I asked somebody with theirs is I don't know why I knew a naked guy would be there. I don't know why. I think me and that other me and the Satanist guy,

Jason, were outside talking while they were getting it ready, and we caught sight of a big whale of flesh moving by the cage. Oh, he was pathetic. Did you recognize him? He had been a cameraman or something. He was on the stat. No. I was asking her about Elvis stories.

Yeah, you got to get Elvis stories. Was Elvis ever with a guy? Did you ever see anything like that? Oh, God, no. No. No, but Ellis was really jealous. I was like, oh, I'm sorry. I was like, oh, I'm sorry. I was like, oh, I'm sorry. I was like, oh, I'm sorry. about uh... elvis stories yet again in the delvis stories was elvis ever with a guy did you ever see anything like that oh god no

now but that was really generous i bought me to the rato's about me tons of joy you're such a good guy and you get everybody day and day gave you was just and you know that if you don't have a you and both of them yes i heard you ever see him shoot anybody?

Did I ever what? See him shoot anything? No, I didn't. I mean, I heard about it, but people make that so much more than what it was. What really pissed him off more than anything else? What really pissed him off more than anything else? What made him really?

The only time I ever saw him mad is when the guys, when he sued the guys, Red and Sunny and Dave Hebbler, you hear all kinds of things about, you know, just a bunch of BS. But the real reason he was fired, okay, as I started out with them not being the right, it's the long story. They weren't very nice. There were a couple of guys that weren't very nice to me and we were sitting in a living room in Palm Springs and we were talking about it and now that says well you know they just respected Linda too Linda Thompson the girl who had you've been who he was

dating at the time and then while we were talking about it in a living room the phone rings and it's his father and telling him we got another lawsuit red and sunny and Dave beat up a fan what that was you know trying to come trying to see Elvis they beat him up again and they had it wasn't the first time and Elvis and I can see him sitting in the living room and this is exactly why these guys were fired and Elvis said fire the son of a bitch is just like that. And then he said, and then he was gonna fire a dick grobe, and then he said, no, no, no, don't, don't fire him. And I was thinking, it's like, I, not that I like dick grobe necessarily, but I thought, oh my God,

he's not gonna have any security left, right? He's, he's firing all of his bodyguard. So he got a dick grobe. That's what did it. Yeah, this is a rather sunny west. Yeah, so that's why they were fired. And the other time it's who was dating this girl, the last girl who dated who claimed she was his fiance, which is just total BS. But anyway, I write about it my book too, but, but I only touched on her a little bit

because she's really not that significant, but she thinks she is. But she was seeing some other guy and she was half Elvis's age. And she, she, she had just told him that she wasn't gonna break up with this other guy, even though she wanted to be with Elvis, was getting cut. All of the stuff. No. Oh.

And so she walks in my room and she's sitting there talking, this is in the hotel suite on top of the Hilton in Las Vegas. And there were like, it's a three bedroom suite. So there was me and Joe in one bedroom, and there was Elvis and Junior in another bedroom, and then Charlie had a bedroom, and then one of the bodyguards had a bed.

It was either red or something. So actually there's four bedrooms. So anyway, she walked into my bedroom because I'm the only at a girl there. And she sits on the bed and she says, Elvis is upset, and I said, why is he upset? She says, because I'm not, she wasn girl there. And she sits on the bed and she says, oh, this is upset. And I said, why is he upset? She says, because I'm not,

she wasn't gonna break up with a boyfriend. I said, well, why don't you break up with him? You know, I don't want you. Well, with that, he comes running into the bedroom. And I had my dry cleaning sitting on a chair and then I had a glass of orange juice sitting on the dresser. And he picks up the orange juice and he throws it in the closet. Oh, there's a dry cleaning. You he picks up the orange juice and he throws it in the room and I'm going to try cleaning.

Fuck you, dry cleaning. I'm going to go and get him. Go and get him. Go and get him. And she's like, I don't want to. And I'm like, you bitch. I mean, she was horrible. Pain with the red lining.

Did you pay for your dry cleaning? I'm sorry. Did you pay for your dry cleaning after that? Yeah. Well, thank God it was covered in plastic, so it didn't get wet. But he would have, oh my gosh, the guy was so generous. You know, but he didn't deserve to be treated that way by her.

And you know this girl, by the way, she goes on Facebook and her her and his sister, they just totally attacked me 24 hours a day. And then they say, I was madly in love with Elvis. Yeah, right. I got a new tree. I could have had Elvis. I was a very pretty young woman and I'll just hit on me more than once But I you know what I mean? I was in love with Joe

So but but she tries to use that to discredit me but people just laugh at her So they're crazy surely on Facebook. I'm so glad you called in there's been lovely talking to you I'm sorry that we I'm so great talking to you. I'm sorry. We found the tapes and released them, but you had 10 years of silence. And now the people want the people want the tapes and they will find them. Well, I just hope they're not going to be up there too much. The truth of the matter is if they are out there too much and they find them, they'll pull them down. They'll get them down because I can, you know, good luck. Good luck. Yeah. There's a whole new internet, baby. You can't drain the piss out of the pool now.

And they're pretty great. Well, you know, you know, another thing I just wanted to add before we jump off here is you do know we talk about the editing, just so people know that, you know, things are not always as they seem on the dark. No, no, no, we know that. Yeah. That's they seem. I'm not going to be that point. That's why they thought that they could get away with anything, with me, right? They figured, oh, well, she's trying to think that she's trying to, you know, just contract that we can do anything we want. On film, baby.

On film. I didn't do them for what they did on film. Well, you could afford lawyers. That's why they didn't get away with it. And most people can't afford lawyers. I couldn't it any lawyers and when i was twenty seven or whenever the hell we shot that thing all of these what these were these attorneys are like they say well for my church well i don't know church that was another problem that's dick's biggest fuck up in life as

a new doesn't have a network of church lawyers uh... well i will tell you though honestly i i know I said it before, but these were not, you know, amulets, chasers. These were real high-powered attorneys. Yes, yes. They thought, they thought, they thought, we won, and let me tell you, I'm in the law. That's counsel. Did you know that?

You're into what? This lawsuit is in the law books now. Oh. is it because of the why I was able to pull it off why we were able to pull it off wow there is a reason yeah we and I knew I knew how to beat the system I sort of got I should have been an attorney but that's not why I didn't sue him just because I wanted to sue him I mean he heard he heard us all. I know. I know. You were aggrieved. I know. I read the I read the summary. I got it. I get it. I will tell you one thing. If I had to do over again, I I wish that I would have just set back and let it air and then

sue him. And then everybody would have seen what a jerky was. Oh, I thought it did air. Uh, no, not when I was there. They had to cut me out. It Oh, air. No, not when I was there. They had to cut me out. Oh yeah, yeah, they did cut you out. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think on the third show. Yeah, you just go on. Yeah, I told them if I show up on it, I'll see one,

but I see them anyway. On the third show, you can see when they're walking, all you guys are walking towards the camera. Yeah. My purse is floating. Really? I gotta walk it out. walking towards the camera. Yeah, my purse is floating. Really? I got to walk it out. Look at the tape.

I believe it's the white purse and it's floating. It's floating. I'll go see. All right, Shirley. Thank you. Thank you for calling in. Oh, good to talk to you. My pleasure.

You take care and good luck on your show and all your endeavors. Thank you. Thank you very much. If you happen to have any bankers at your church, please tell them to contact me. I need bankers. I need a banker's more. I need a good banker more than I need a lawyer at this point. You need a good banker.

Yeah, banks. So decided they don't want to do business with me. It's a long story. It's a very long story. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a church, not synagogue. Come time, we'll talk about it. I'm really good about that. I will. Have a good one, Jay. Take care. Nice to meet all of you. Take care, yeah, yeah. She said church, not synagogue. We'll talk about it. I'm really good about that. I will.

Have a good one, Jay. Have a good one, Jay. Take care. Nice to meet all of you. Take care. Thanks for coming on. Bye, bye. Whoops.

There she goes. Oh my goodness. Not a chatterbox. It's a couple of, I think she's very interesting. I think she's very interesting. Interviews. Oh, I should have got her to say, I hate men before she left. She said it.

I mean, at the very end, hey, can you, as you say, hate should have got her to say I hate men before she left. She said it She's I mean At the very end hey, can you as you say you hate men real quick right before we Next time she needs like a full episode because she The Elvis connections interesting isn't that interesting yeah, yeah, that she knows Yeah, it's very funny. Yeah Veronica. Thank you so much for being on the show. No. Thank you so much for having me Can you plug your stuff please? Yes, so you so much for having me. Can you plug your stuff, please? Yes. So you can find me.

Think about it. No, I don't want you. Because I think I need to plug. No, I don't want you. I don't want you. I need to plug. Well, let's go. You're Twitter.

Yeah. Probably a good one. Yeah, so it's Veronica Lover. V-E-R-O-N-I-C-A-L-A-V-E-R-Y. Okay, the YouTube. Oh, the YouTube channel is a big one, yes please. Yes, yes. YouTube.com slash Veronica Lover. Again, it's just with C, but yeah, just like a normal, not like 10 Ks or anything like that.

No, I'm just playing it safe, so Veronica Lover. And then I started a new Instagram, so I was finally able to make an account, but, you know, I post stories a lot, so if your story is freak, then go check it out. But for posting daily, I don't think you're going to find it on my account anymore. I'm a Veronica of LeVary Freak, which is still a good idea to go on your Instagram. That is not just a word. Yeah, put a hashtag Veronica LeVary Freak.

Perfect. Let's just create a new gallery. But yeah, it's Veronica LaVary. And their score is, and their score back. Yeah. Perfect. Sean Veronica took us to a self-actualization center in the Pacific house. Self-realization.

Oh, yeah. Self-realization center. There's one from you too. Self-realization felt like a franchise. The same guy. No, no, no. Instead of the other one, it's a franchise. You said him up.

No, no, no, no. They were both her and 80s girl wearing the Dixho tank top shirts. It's the most calm I've ever been in my life. You went to Xomano like Twinsies pictures. I was really, really highly recommend that that center. Yeah. I believe you. Relax.

I've seen pictures and footage of the like the grounds and stuff. It's really nice, isn't it? I wouldn't know. I wasn't looking at all. Okay, everybody, thank you for listening to the Jigsaw. Thank you for having me, Shirley, for coming. Thank you, thank you. You weren't relaxed, you were lightheaded.

Oh, is that what that was? I'm in the blood being somewhere else. Oh, yeah. It's how that works. There's been the Jigsaw, Dictouch Show, Patreon.com, Slash, the Jigsaw, I'll see you next Tuesday. This is fat idiot from the hard men working hard. It's a long track.

We're not gonna do voice mails, but listen to the whole track, because it's great. Here you go. There on Patreon. They're also on new projects. Dude, the worst thing about new project too is how many people I'm fucking over by not being able to process payments.

That is the fucking worst feeling. Yeah, I know. What you do, you always feel responsible for people who you bring along to. You're just like, hey, I'm gonna make this out, but you know, I know. We don't even know the way that seriously. You do take, I know you do. So here you go. Here's fat idiot.

I hope it's not about me. You know. Sounds like your voice. I heard that. Please keep thinking it's bad. I'm still here, Brad. I'm a bad idiot, John. I'm a bad idiot. It's all like that for a while, but it still sounds bad.

I hear it out. I'm a bad idiot. I don't hear that. I mean like that. I'm a bad idiot. I'm gonna hear that. He means like, bad. I'm a bad idiot. I'm a bad idiot. Yeah, sounds like that. Bad. I'm a bad. I'm a bad.

I'm a bad. Oh, I'm a bad idiot. Where are my drugs? I don't know. Did you lose them again? No, you know. I think my burning man. I took a bunch of drugs.

Just in case. Just in case. I'm Halloween when I was Indiana Jones. I had them all in my satchel. Yeah, my purse. And we go to this bar and this guy goes, I need to check your satchel. Is it okay? I don't think you do

There's a lot of drugs in there. Yeah, just just you know it opens up a good. Oh, wow, okay Go right in sir. Yeah, it's not a gun. Probably was shocked by honesty. He's not I was kidding probably so I'm a fat giver. And it's in your face. With a tiny face. But that's what he says. And so again, I hear different things, you know. Well, you're hearing with your accent. I don't know what I'm hearing with.

You know what Veronica told us that... Oh, live out of Bob. I know this is coming. What? Veronica was telling us that these Simpsons voices, yeah. Oh, wait, I like this part. You are fat like Michael Moore. You sing like Michael Jackson.

But you are fat like Michael Moore. I'm talking about Leccembre. Bronco is telling us that the check versions of the Simpsons. Let me get fucked. Yeah. Are better. The voices are better than the American versions Yeah, I like it way better so I play them in an episode than everybody was love the check versions Yeah, it is are better than the American version is it's one guy one guy does Homer March Bart Mate no, I don't think he does them any voices. He does at least two

So the same guy does Homer and March for sure But it's so funny it's because it's so bad. I think it's so good It's good for a guy He did a good job. I still like it better than the American version even for March Yeah, it's just it's so absurd. It makes it funny. What is the name of the LeVog Bob in English? SciShow Bob.

Yeah. SciShow Bob. LeVog. They call him left-handed Bob. Really? LeVog Bob. LeVog Bob. Ah.

So you know that now. Oh, there you go. Because your hair is like live out of both, that's why we started talking about it. I don't think that part was necessary, but. I had some good studies here, Sean. Hmm, that didn't get to you today, yeah. Sweet.

Former Boston College student charged in boyfriend's suicide. Oh, that's a thing now. Another out there, there's a precedent. Yeah, there's a precedent set. That's where now it opened a can. He exchanged 75,000 text messages with more than half coming from her. That's not a good stat. More than, yeah, it should be about more than half. Yeah, a than- Yeah. It should be about more than half.

Yeah. There's a lot of texts. It should be way more than half, shouldn't it? Well, if she's guilty of something, yeah, more- Right. Slightly more than half is a normal conversation, but that's a shitload of texts. Over how many? Two months!

Wait, wait, wait, wait, is that mathematically possible? Oh, he's texting like some people I know that, yeah. No, they mentally der, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait she did like 39,000 of them, right? Some like that. Okay, let's do that right? 9,000 Because 75,000 total divided by 60 days divided by 16 hours a day that you're typing here, okay? Why not yeah? 17 I don't know that's only 40 texts an hour

40 texts an hour. Yeah, Man, who has a, it's a lot. I know. For students? How many texts do you think you send an hour, Veronica? I'm not a big texture. Just call me if you need something. I don't want to waste my time. That's the last thing I want done to me is to have you inflict a phone call upon me. to have you inflict a phone call upon me. I sent an emoji bag and then figure out my mood and let's talk normally. Yeah, they're changing emojis too. You want to see what they've done to emojis, Sean? They do the face thing. Where you create your own face. Oh, you like that one? I love it.

Here, check this out. This is the new default family emoji. Good snare drum in. What is it? Oh. Okay. This is the family emoji before. This is it now.

You're a fucking pod family. And you have a little clone child. They de-genderized all of the default emojis. Look at that, they really did. So it's two Ellen's with their little miniature Ellen baby. One looks vaguely more... But they're still the previous version, too. What's that?

There's still is the previous version. Nope, this getting replaced. Oh yeah, yeah, you gotta go find it. Yeah. But this is default, if you don't wanna mess around with it. It will. This is the default love. Two pod people.

Should exchanging a heart. Two genderless, long Ellen Lesbian-haired pod people. Why don't they just add? No, no. This is because the default was the cis version. So now they're replacing the default with one that no one would use. They're replacing the default with one that no one would use. They're replacing the default with one that is useful to nobody because no one on fucking Earth

wants to send to their loved one to weird alien people exchanging a heart. No one would use that. I don't, they should just keep adding. Like then, you go fight all in the same place. Here's what they've changed. This is the, they've changed women's haircuts too. And what did you think is,

I don't think it's the color of their shirts. So that it's, you know, because this mindset is a great goo that's taking over, that's destroying our culture. Here's, if you want to send a sexy twin-sessed emoji, yeah, to your man, here's what you've got to use this 30s-go-thing suit guys. 12-year-old gymnasts. They can't file. You've got to be a pedophile. If you want gotta use this 30s bathing suit guys 12-year-old gymnasts They give a lot of fun

If you wanna use emojis now Another thing ruined for women What a by the alphabet squad What a bizarre time we live in Here's a fireman Ellen who will come and steal your dog Yeah This one this part cracked me up too This is the black one who has hair that no black person in history has ever had except for maybe Wesley Snipes and Demolition Man.

Yeah, these ones are astronaut Ellen. No, what do you know? You're a fat idiot. Here's Ellen the mechanic. Oh, wait, get out of here. Well, the head emojis at least are fun, but these are ridiculous. All right, everybody. See ya. See ya. Ciao.