The Dick Show - Episode 186 - Dick on Hunting Hitomi

Episode Date: December 24, 2019

Right-wing virtue signaling and Internet Tough Guys, America is getting fatter, kids getting too close to your car, a stats on who understands impeachment, Jason from Dr. Phil Calls in with stories of drugs, kickbacks, and fraud on the Dr. Phil set, cruising Michael's for chicks, Chris the Kiwi tries to date a hooker and/or Jenna Jameson, Jon Breaks Bad News ends an engagement, nine-foot T-Rex penises, Larry weighs in on "Larry-posting", and Sean goes on hiatus; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Oh, yep, okay. Yep, I got that one. Yep. Yep. I got that one. Oh, that's a big one. That's a big one. That's a big one. Oh, Larry, you could tell us a little bit about this one. I'm probably gonna start with that one probably gonna start with that one. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Oh, yeah, that's women doing that. Definitely, definitely, definitely. Oh, something about Jews over here. Interesting, interesting. Your show notes have become far more copious than I remember. You know what? They really have.

They're longer and I get to less of them. Of course. Like I said, inverse inverse proportion for sure. It's horrible. It's horrible. And I copy them from one week to the next. So it's like a survival of the fittest. Like just copy paste, copy paste, stuff gets left behind.

I don't know. What for the last show I'm going to have a volume voluminous tomb and I'm just going to read through it from front to back, and that'll be it, then I'll die, like, in its connectivity. How's the tentacle porn crippled Jesus asks? What are you talking about, crippled Jesus? Is that, are you hip to the porn band that's going on, the big debate between people

who have potatoes between their ears and the rest of civilized humanity? We could go, I did, dad chat with Nick Rack and those guys. And somebody brought up the porn band. Right. And, you know, people said, why did you, did you like go for a beer or something

or take a leak or, because I had nothing to say, because I'm so fucking sick of people banning things. Yeah. I just stand with the fuck sick of people banning things. Yeah. I just stand with the fuck off. Fuck off with that. Yeah, for real. Yeah, and you think of the pay, go to fucking pom pay and look at the erections on the sidewalk

there and it's not going to be banned. You will not ban it. So just leave it alone. Just stop. There's something wrong with you. Yeah. Like you woke up today and thought it was your crusade to ban anything, there's something fucking wrong with your head.

You belong in a cell so you can stop ruining everyone else's lives. I fucking hate it. These people commonly talking about it like, well, you know, civilization. We got to save civilization. See, it's your brain and dopamine and society and feminization and workplace and diversity and Got you like banning so much go to fucking China go to prison Pretty much everything's banned there. They did it all for you. Just go live there. How that society working out for them. It's great That's where you want to live in jail

Bring me the liberals at least they just want to live. In jail, bring me the liberals. At least they just want to live in Mexico. I gladly live in Mexico over fucking prison, which is where you want everybody to live. You fucking bitch. The prison of the mind, that's what they want. It's true. They're just importing all these countries.

I know, fuck, I know. I know. If there was some kind of space civilization where cars floated and women had three tits I would say send their immigrants over send them all over pipe men go kidnap them bring them in and every day America will get a little bit bit a little bit more like the floating space cars in the three titted lands you don't like porn, go to prison. You belong there, you fucking belong there.

You know, why don't they self-ban? Just, if you have a problem with porn, cut your cock off. Cut your cock off? Problems, cut your kids cock off. Problems, self. Okay, let's start the show. All right. Presenting.

Three-tidded immigrants. This is the last of the year, boys. This is the last time you've got anything to get out! One more! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa He did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did it, he did, he did it, he So we'll take that. I went all the way through. I went all the way through my initial my benching audio engineers I had to point out up into the crowd and say you you look like an engineer You're sitting you look like an you look like an engineer you can do audio how you've been listening to things your whole life I assume Kevin

Hi today's audio engineer. Hey, how are you? What's up, buddy? Joining us for this very special end of the year episode. Sean is on hiatus. Sean is on hiatus. Sean's gonna make it today. John couldn't make it today. They have treatments for hiatus, don't they? Yeah, I hope so.

Joining us today is Larry. Larry, Larry, Larry from that Larry show. Larry, how you doing? Welcome to the great day. For this very special end of the year, Christmas program episode, how the hell I love your, I love your Christmas sweater. It's fantastic.

It's very festive. It really is. It's good to see you, man. I took it off Andy Williams' corpse. Who is that? Oh, get the fuck out of here. I don't know your references. I'm 50-50 on Larry references.

Andy Williams was like this, this fucking, this zombie singer that they would bring out every Christmas when I was a kid. And they had this Christmas special with like the osmonds. And they wear sweaters that were this color. It was really hideous and plastic and weird. For my time when everyone had to share the same media, and they wear sweaters that wear this color. It was really hideous and plastic if we're... From a time when everyone had to share the same media, you know, okay, so I got a new TV.

Oh, don't you? A couple of weeks ago, because I was going on off, on, off, on, off, and I've never had a TV that worked. It always burn out right away. It always burn out right away. And then I have to sit there like a chimp hitting on, off, on, off until the final words.

I got a new TV and it has this feature where it's like a virtual, it's like you've taken a time machine back to the 90s because it is a full on channel display with channels and like a timetable. It has all the old features from a cable box. And I know that it's streaming, there's no like, there's no cable package attached to it. I know that it's I know that it's streaming there's no like there's no There's no

Cable package attached to it. I know that it's just like the internet like going on to channels are clicking it But just the interface makes me feel so calm and happy Having a limited amount of things to go and having only up to go or down to go instead of like Oh, I gotta go to hulu or Netflix or 10 or 20 YouTube channels that I stopped listening to, that I turned everybody's bells on because they told me to do it. It's so fucking satisfying.

I just sit there going between guy, a channel where guys get kicked in the nuts and fall off of their skateboard and stuff and then a channel of weird anime shit. And that's my life now. I leave it on all day, it feels like I'm back in 1996. It's the greatest feeling in the world. You gonna share the brand with us?

We all want this. Samson, is it? Samson, yeah. It was whatever it was cheapest on Amazon. I love it. I highly recommend it. Okay, okay, guys. I'm going to Tokyo.

Are you really? Yes, I'm going to Japan. Are you really? Yes, I'm going to Japan. Right after Christmas, I'm gonna find, I'm searching for my great white whales, which is tell me Tanaka's tits. She's been very unresponsive on social media. I've sent her many, many Google translate suggestions about her father

trying to neg her. I don't know if it doesn't translate or maybe Japanese Brods are a little bit smarter than that, but I'm gonna have to go straight to the source. I'm gonna be scouring I'm gonna hire a bloodhound dog and try to track her through the streets of Japan I don't know this is my this is my journey of a lifetime to try to at least Meet her told me to to knock in Japan. So far, I've had absolutely no leads, no clues. The top dickheads have been on top of it, nothing. 80's girl has been on top of it, who could stock anybody.

Nothing. Nothing. So I don't know, have you ever been to Japan? Never. I can't wait. We'll do some kind of a meet up in Tokyo. I assume I'm going to be there for new years, so I don We'll do some kind of a meet up in Tokyo. I assume I'm going to be there for New Year's. So I don't know if we're doing a meet up a new year's because

I'm kind of like to hang out with my girlfriend. Yeah. You know. Um, but we'll definitely do a meet up there. Sean, as I said before, Peach is going to be there. Peach is going to be in Tokyo. Yeah. We'll be doing a show with Peach. Nice. And so I'm looking forward to it. Let's see. I've got to apologize to Domey pesos. Man, boy, did I fuck up. This has been a big year of fuck-ups for me. Well, starting with Australia. After Australia, they're all small, right? No. No. The type is top-sale fucked up more than that. If you can imagine, I've had more costly or fuck-ups since then. Starting with

starting with Australia and continuing on, uh, Dome Pesos, I did, I did in the episode right up two weeks ago say that he was on the Fatsmus Carol CD, using his name to try to sell the album, uh, and he's not on it. He's on it in sample form only. I didn't think when I did it, but it was wrong. Still it was wrong of me. I'm sorry, Domé Pesos. If there's anything I can do to make it up to you. Domé Pesos has an incredible YouTube channel. Go check it out. Hit the bell and add it to your list of things to not see, things to clog up your inbox. But actually, go do checkout, Johnny Tuesday. Larry, I always wanted to ask you this. I've been wanting to, I have a present for you

that I've been sitting on for three years. Really? As I said, yeah, I got it along time ago. I'll give it to you at the end of the show. Do not let me forget. I won't let you forget. Do you, what do you think of Larry posting? I've always wanted to ask you this.

Johnny has wanted to ask you this. Everybody I know has wanted me to ask you this. What do you think of Larry posting the Reddit posting of the fake thumbnails of your thumbnails of your show that Mr. Yam balls does every week or something that they started out and I hated them. I thought they were not funny, but he's he does them all the time. Yes. And it went all the way around until now I cannot live without Larry Posthig. I think that the funniest thing in the world, they're not, I mean, I don't, I honestly don't think they're complimentary. So I don't think I don't think you would like them, but I wanted to get your take on them.

I get it. Say, I never go to Reddit. I haven't seen them. Don't go to Reddit. All right, stay away from it. It's a horrible place. I'm sorry. I haven't seen them. Don't go to Reddit. All right, stay away from Reddit. It's a horrible place. I'm sorry, I have no idea. Full, very angry people.

And I'm so up and told. Okay, let's see what makes me rage this week. Kids, kids driving too close to my car on their school. Yeah, you can, maybe you can talk about this, but I spend a lot of time with the family this week. Yeah, sure. And kids, I don't know if it's because of their small size or their small brains, but they think about,

they think about two or three inches is a good clearance. For a car when they're scooting around, with their, everything's made out of metal on the edges and their helmets that protects them from death. So they give absolutely no fuck while they're scooting around, but they will zoom by, they will take a driveway at full speed, without even tapping their toe on the ground,

make a hard 90 degree ride on a rain select pavement, breeze by your car without even giving it a second look. And the entire time I'm sitting there having, I'm sitting there with every sphincter in my body from my throat to my anus, squeezing tight at once and squeezing a tube out of frosting out of both ends. Do you know what I mean? Exactly, especially the frosting part. Yeah, you had girls though, right?

Yes. They're not, they don't do stuff like this though. Do they? Not to that extent. My younger was a bit of a bare dare devil on her bicycles. She used to crash that every now and then. But not to, no, these are guys, I take it to. It gives me, it's giving me a fucking heart attack.

And this is, here's, this is what makes it even better. My sister decides to start playing catch with the little Irishman to warm him up for his tryouts. And I say, my friend, my brand new truck is sitting. I look, I've not been having a great, um, end of the year as far as, so burning money is concerned. So maybe, maybe you could not, maybe you could take this into the backyard to play a little catch with the kid to warm him up for this fucking tryouts.

You, you psychotic sports lunatic who thinks that practicing for a six-year-old tri-outs is gonna do. I understand you don't wanna be embarrassed. I understand. Maybe go in the back yard, so there's our bar back yard's too small for this. Is it a bi-big house then? What I don't want you to do is be playing catch.

Playing catch with a hard baseball with a child right next to my car. My dad comes out swinging his big dick around. So, just, hey, just throw it and see what happens. So throw it and see what happens. I said, oh, where, she goes, oh, okay, we're going to back up a little bit. So I have more room backs up near his car.

And he goes, oh, wait, wait, wait, you know what? You know what? This actually, actually there might be a better place for this. It's like, you mother fucker. You were going to have them. You were going to, you were happy to use my car as a backstop But the second your brand the second you're fucking Car gurus bands he didn't even buy that car of car guru did he no he didn't okay

I got you two crabs with my father. It's the head before the end of the year. He has oh mr. Car gurus Anytime you want to buy a new car, your friends will fuck you over more than the dealer ever will. When you want to get a new car, that is when your friends and family start screwing you over. So by the time you get into the dealership, your asshole is as wide as a fire hydrant and has been lubricated for three months with people giving you bad advice Bad advice one size giving you bad advice and the other side is hammering into you

How stupid you are for buying a new car as though as though they're Warren Buffett as though they're the first people to figure out that Oh, it drops the car haves and values right when I do drive it off the lot Well, fuck has ever tried to bought sell a car that they bought and then drive it off the lot. Well, fuck has ever tried to sell a car that they bought and then immediately drove off the lot. Where is your sample size for this data? Luzer's half its value, the second it drives off the lot. How do you know? Is there a guy selling them out of his keys out of his pocket

right outside the dealership Warren Buffett? Tell me Warren Buffett, is that still going over there? Kevin, it hasn't crashed. Anyway, so 80's girls says she's in, 80's girls car has been poisoned by theft thievery. How's that? It was stolen right out of our front yard. No shit.

Yeah, because she threw the keys in the trash. Someone on red, speaking of how stupid red it is, someone goes, why would she throw her keys away? Like, have you know what? Why would a woman do anything? What are you talking about? Why did you say that? She threw her keys in the trash.

One of the garbage monsters, do you have them where you live? Oh, yeah. These repubates that, well, probably the bottle pickers, right? The bottle pickers, bottle pickers, hit, paid her. They found her keys in the car. Okay. They drove it a block away, picked through it, bottle pickers you hit paid hurt. So they found her keys in the car. They drove it a block away, picked through it, picked through her jock jams collection,

and stole a dress out of the back seat. So there's some little Latina walking, and there's some sort of Latina hippo walking around to the dress that's bursting at the same somewhere in this neighborhood that I need to track down. It's either. The car back. Yeah, they just parked it down the street. Six cops came over. Yeah, it told us to buy a club or a better version of the club.

And the club is shit. That's what they said. I had a car stolen with a club. They sucked. They don't work. Don't get one stolen completely. Yeah, absolutely. They get a bar spreader, like nothing, opening up an anna. So the feel of the thievery of that car is the stink of like it feels. It's violated. It's been violated. We got to get rid of that car's cost. Maybe that goes, uh, go to Cargoo Rouge.

All right. Now I got a stop. Now why were the keys in the garbage can? She just, she was cleaning out a car. She threw them away. Oh, it was one of those accents. Yeah. Accident. Don't wrappers in the keys in the garbage can? She just, she was cleaning out a car. She threw him away. Oh, it was one of those accents. Yeah, accident. Don rappers in the keys.

I've done. And then we went back and I found the footage on my security camera. And then back and we walked. Of the keys. He watched it about. Not the thieves, the keys. I don't know, no, no.

I don't want to watch the thieves because it makes my fucking brain boil. Watching these fucks scroll up like nothing and make off with a car. Anyway, yeah, we watched it about, we watched it about 20 times. Here's the keys, the pile, pick up the pile, throw it in the trash, coming right back and hey, where are my keys? They find it. Oh yeah, I've done stupid things. And that, uh, recently, so we're getting, she wants to get a new car. Get a new car.

I mean, that says go to car gurus, okay? All right. Like, what do you mean car gurus? Yeah. Come on. Don't give me, he's like, oh, no, it's the best. It's the aggregated. It's the best.

Like, I don't know, I don't think so. No, why? Why have you got a car, gurus? No, but I check prices on there all the time. Oh.'t think so. This is just advice. I mean, he gets a new car. Last month, this is like a, this is I don't know, many months later. And so yeah, car gurus goes, no. So you got your car, you're not car gurus car. As soon as it gets in the firing line, then it's actually, you know,

it dicks right, you better actually move the baseball down the street. Nobody wants to get their car dinged by these kids. Okay, the second, here's another thing that makes me rich. We had Christmas party a couple days ago. There you were invited, by the way, you didn't show. Uh-huh. And I was brought, I was brought, and this is no bullshit. I don't know you didn't show up. And I was brought. I was brought.

And this is no bullshit. I don't know if this has ever happened to me in my life. A girl, one of Vady's girlfriend brings me a drink. Brings me a drink that is a red solo cup that is a mixed drink completely full to the top with no ice. Hands this, hands this drink to me, outside, this down the hill, so it's quite a long walk with absolutely no ice in it, with a straight face. I think what is, what is, what in what country

is this permissible or acceptable to get a luke, which is now hand-warp. Yeah. This is you've hand-warped this with your solo cup, the least insulated drink device ever made. Ever made, yes. More than aluminum. Yeah. They're making the spaceship out of solo cups.

Space Force is going to be run entirely by solo cups because it conducts heat so well. Hands this to me with a completely straight face. And I had go, go do it. Are you kidding me? Go do it again. Pour, pour this. I poured it out right in front of her. Go do it again. This is, I'm not even going to tell you what you did wrong. It was so wrong. Go try it again. Who has ever wanted to drink a large syrup concoction of liquor and failure? Anyway, was she really loaded? Maybe that was no. No, no, I couldn't believe it. She's probably out there doing this running the scam on multiple men.

She's supposed to be stopped. You aren't bold enough to call her out on her indiscretions as I am. Okay. Here's another thing now that I'm warmed up Here's another thing she might be wearing the dress that was ripped off from the car. Did you figure that out? Fucking speaking of tough guys Right wing virtue signaling. That's something I Is that a thing now? Oh man. So maybe this might be just a me thing. You guys, you know Nick Fuentes. Yeah, you know, you're a hip on Nick Fuentes' whole deal. So, so maybe I should just play the video, but I don't know if it's important. Let me...

Nick Fuentes is at some political rally. Ben Shapiro is at the same political rally. Ben Shapiro crosses, Ben Shapiro has been calling him a white supremacist basically, like constantly, gives gigantic speeches at Stanford to thousands of people, calling him a fucking Nazi, right? Not exactly the benchmark of civility. He crosses the street and calls me and says, hey, why won't you debate me? Why won't you and says, hey, why won't you debate me?

Why won't you debate me, man? Why won't you debate me? And Ben Shapiro's crossing the street with his wife, his wife, his wife's pregnant wifey picks up his kid, Ben Shapiro picks up his kid, and he's, why won't you debate me? And I swear to God, right wing Twitter has the biggest meltdown over someone with their family getting into getting an attempted conversation with another guy and all of the sudden like the right wing Grinch their balls grow three sizes that day and they're all just wishing that that would happen to them so they couldn't tell you what they would even do.

Here was my favorite from Robbie Sawavi, Vile, just absolutely Vile. I can't say what I think should be allowed to happen if someone does this in front of kids because it's against terms of service. But Ben Shapiro handled this in the classiest possible manner. Kudos to him for keeping cool and protecting his kids. I think that the real, right? the right wing is always complaining about all the pedophiles on the left, but for all the love I've seen for children over the last week

I think I definitely don't know who I want kids around. These guys picking pretend the internet fights because some children witness their dad Almost have a conversation. This is the same right, this is the same conservative right wing cranks who are always bitching about the left wing turning children into pussies, crying and threatening to kick your ass because your kids might have to listen to a conversation. I think we see who the puss pussy really are here, don't we?

As much as much of a problem it is that for everyone that a drag queen reads to your kids, this is way more brainwashing. The idea that you should stick your head down into your vagina and not respond to a guy who behind his back, you call a Nazi for an hour and a half to thousands of people while your kids are watching uh dad what should we do if we call someone a Nazi and he's in the street and he says hey why'd you call me a Nazi you just stick your head down and keep Continue walking that's how a man handles things by completely ignoring it I cannot fucking believe the pronouns in the bio

shit is nothing to compare to the amount of bichery I have seen from people threatening pretend violence to pretend altercations that have never happened. It's like the concealed carry crowd. If you sit around any concealed carry crowd or any gun enthusiast, the probability that you will not hear one of them fantasizing about murdering someone for stealing their stuff is zero. It's fucking zero. And that is all these people are the reason that the other side is so insane about taking away their guns because they're fucking insane. That's why. Because you guys can't fucking up. You can't help yourself say something that's

retarded. You will definitely shoot somebody over it. Larry, what do you think about that? It's so fucking, it's that these are the biggest pussy's. I mean, these are guys. These are guys. Guys, I'm talking about internet tough guys. That's, is this biggest problem style? It's internet tough guys. They say shit like, I have never backed down. Like, motherfucker, first of all, if you've never backed down from a, if you would never backed down from a fight,

you've never been in a fight. One wrong move, one wrong move, your hand is out of commission for six fucking weeks. The contest between, I have seen guys take bigger hits trying to push over a parking cone and having a fight with another person. Nothing is fucking certain. Number two, if you've never bitched out of a fight, you're picking on people smaller than you. That makes you an even bigger pussy. Larry. Just sir. You've been in a couple of tangles, I'm sure, over your life, what do you think about that? Which part of that?

Pretend internet, internet tough guys. What do you think about internet tough guys? The keyboard tigers, they're assholes. And you mentioned the pronouns and the bios. I saw one a couple days ago, it was my favorite, I don't know who the guy was, but it said my pronouns are fuck and you. Okay, fuck and you, that's what guy was, but it said my pronouns are fuck and you. Okay.

I thought I liked that. Fuck and you. I'm gonna use those for my pronouns too. Maybe eat and shit. That might be my pronouns. Yeah. My pronouns are me and mine. Me and mine?

Me and mine. That's how I get down. That's my glasses. Here we go. Oh, I like those two. I like sunglasses. You know what? Okay.

I actually brought these down here to bitch about them. Why? Look at the way they sit on my head. Oh, that's a problem. You see these sunglasses that I brought these sunglasses to Burning Man? Jesus Christ, it's lighter without the headphones. I bought an entire box of sunglasses

to bring to Burning Man in various festivals that I do like doing. And as you can see, if you're looking at the video, me putting them on regularly has one ear prong, whatever it's called, resting comfortably on my ear. And the other ear prong is somewhere near the North Pole. It is, it is so crooked that the glasses actually go below my mouth on one side and I can see better under the other lens. And so I said, oh, what a fluke.

I'm going to take these off and throw them away. That's why I bought 12 of them. Every single fucking pair of these glasses, how many you wear glasses, Kevin? Yeah. If I had glasses, the misalignment that that you have to suffer by putting them on, would drive me into a murderous insane rage. How do you deal with it? I would go to the lunch crafters

and just start choking people. Is that a problem with glasses that it is to me where they're constantly misaligned? Yeah, they get bumped around. What about your surgery? How about your surgery? I might fix it forever. Yeah, I would rather do that

than suffer another one of these. I can't even wear them anymore. I cannot, I go through every day, blinded by the sun, if I ever go outside, which I try not to do anymore, then this is a part of the reason, not putting glasses on, because if I do, it will, if I do, it will feel like,

like this, look at this. Let's get that weakened at Bernie's look. Yes, I will, if I do it, we'll feel like, like this, look at this. That's got that weakened burning look. Yes, I will look like weakened burnings with the glasses on. I'll just take the center of my eyes. I don't care. You should wear those to Tokyo. They'll dig them. They'll love this and Tokyo.

I would guess. What do they like in Tokyo? Guys that wear a crooked sunglasses. They got real short guys over there. Everybody says I'll stand out like a sore thumb. You will. Yeah, I do in America, bitch. That's right. Everybody says I'll stand out like a sore thumb. You will. I do an America bitch. That's right.

That's nothing new to me. What do you think about, what do you think about internet tough guys, Larry? I think they're pussies, you know. Right, it's a worthy, I mean, you know. I've never met any of them. I mean, the thing is you don't know because you're never gonna meet any of them.

They're just, you know, they may not even be guys. They might be bots or they might, who knows, what the hell are you? It's like watching guys talk to other guys about imaginary fights that they would have is like watching two men having cyber sex. Exactly. Are you guys, are you beating off?

Yeah. And then while you're talking to each other and flating each other about, first of all, any tough guy that brings in terms of services kind of undercutting his tough guy image, isn't he? Right. Yeah.

Teachers said you can't do that. I mean, I would fuck. If I wasn't so worried about my brand, I would really tell you what I think about what I do in this situation. God damn. Nothing says, nothing says I'm a pussy, like talking about what a fucking tough guy you are. Yes. Um, they can't help it.

They can't help it. They can't help it. That's right, Wing Virtue signaling. There's a man deficit, you know, the testosterone, I should say. And these people are the cause of it. Yes, they are. It's not, they blame the left for all of their bitch shit and all of their problems, but they're, they're fucking doing it with their, oh, you, you never never you never confront a man when he's with his wife and child

This is this is only this is the future of the free world that man's trying to have a nice evening He's trying to have a nice dinner with his family. We're get get out of here with your concerns about Taxes and Israel that man has no place here It's pathetic It's pathetic. It's pathetic. Okay. What else do I have here? I got a very special guest calling in tonight and I'm very excited about you.

Jason. Jason from the Dr. Phil House of Judgment says he's calling in at nine o'clock. He reached out to me and get this. He said that his grandma recorded all of the episodes on VHS. He's had them this whole fucking time. Oh my God. That he isn't. No, I'm doing to you.

What's the problem? I never talked to him after the show. But he said he heard that I was looking for them. You heard something about it and he reached out and said, oh, yeah, I have, I have my VHS. I have all of them. How much does he want? Uh, but I don't know. Money's been already been paid.

Oh, okay. I already gave that other guy. The other guy, right. So the budget's boned for that. You're not gonna pay twice. Well, I'm not gonna pay, you know, you don't pay the hooker twice. That's what I'm trying to get out.

That's what I'm trying to get out for people. See, Larry, you can, you maybe you can give us a wink. The first time is your chance to convince the hooker to do it for free the second time, because it's still a woman under there. They still, they're not known for their, they're good financial decisions. Am I right?

Okay. What else did I have here? David, do you have any more comments on that, on that, no tough guy. You're not a tough guy phenomenon. And just the, just the sick and weak and obsessive need to protect someone's family and their children like, get the fuck over it. Come on, what is this? You guys are more concerned about your, you guys are more concerned about looking like you're playing fair

and looking dignified. It's like the French aristocracy. They're going around like, oh no, we don't. Well, we don't discuss such vulgar things when we're with our families. This is how we act with our families. It's different like, fuck you. Get the fuck out of the way then,

because there are guys who will discuss it anywhere, anytime. Anytime is you, you people are the enemy. It's not, it's not left or right It's people who care about how they look versus the rest of us who are paying for it Anyway, sorry I cut you off. What were you gonna say? No, no, no, I was I Think I had completed my thought about about these Chuches, okay, let's ask me the day. What's a chuch? What is a chuch? I don't know. It's like an asshole or something No, no, no, no, what do you mean no, no like an asshole? That's not very far. It's not it's a chooch? I don't know, it's like an asshole or something. Like a teen? No, no, no.

What do you mean no, no? Like an asshole? That's not very far on. It's not, a chooch is not a anatomical reference. It's kind of like a, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, excuse me. Well, boob's an anatomical thing could be, well, you know, it's an old New York term, chooch.

Don't be a chooch. Don't be a chooch. Don't be a chooch. All right, here's another one. It's an old New York term, Chew, Chew. Don't be a Chew. Don't be a Chew. Don't be a Chew. All right. Here's another one. Nearly half of the US population will be obese. Would it be in 2030?

Apparently, it's not. Apparently, it's not so. Really? That's just by 2030 over half. Let me see here. What do I got here? To what do they describe that? Well, I did some digging into this.

Oh, I want to hear about this. Wait a minute. Because I just lost 15 pounds. Did you? I did. How'd you do that? oatmeal. Would you bathe in it?

No. I could. Probably a good reaction, but I... How did you lose? How did oatmeal make it so much? It's the magic weight loss food. You have some of that in the morning and you're not hungry till, you know, 4 or 5 o'clock in the evening. It's the magic weight loss food. You have some of that in the morning, and you're not hungry until, you know, four or five o'clock in the evening, it's great.

Really? Yeah, really. If you have like, for me, if I have a monstrous breakfast, you know, the whole eggs and bacon and toast and all that shit, I'm hungry in an hour. Yeah. But if I, I don't know why that is,

but if I have oatmeal, I'm good for most of the day. I don't eat in the morning. Yeah. I'm a good hungry until like noon. That's why that's when I start smoking to delay it as long as I can. I can't forget what cigarette whatever. Whatever I get my hands on. We yeah, anything that burns and then I delay it until as long as I can. And that's when I begin eating.

Yeah. And then I don't stop eating until I pass out. That's good. That's why you should look great. Yeah. I took the scales to today right before the show. That's really when I started dining. Yeah. Yeah. I feel really sick and pathetic about it. And fat. You can drop that fast.

You know, offload that quick. Put it on. It's fast though. Well, that's fun. Right. Okay. See. So this is me actually try to find this. I lost the I lost the that quick. I could put it on fast though. Well, that's fun, right? It's just like C-so. This is, let me actually try to find this. I lost the actual article. Oh, does anything make you a rage? Everything makes you a rage.

You want to get off your chest here? Everything makes me a rage. Well, yeah, I'll tell you something. Maybe you'll realize it's kind of a, I was at earlier this evening, just making the party circuit and I was at this person's house at the valley there. And I've been there a couple of years before at the Christmas party, and I looked out over the hills, and it's like customary homes on hillsides and stuff.

And I see this, and I said, what the fuck is at it? It looks like a Honda dealership in the middle of all these residences, massive structure. I mean, it just went on forever with them, down lights and up lights and all these shit. Like what the fuck is that? And she goes, oh, that's the residents

of the Ace family of YouTube. Who the fuck is that? Who's the Ace family? See, you don't know, I think you would know that. No, I don't know anybody else. The Ace family is like, they're like, ripe a low-putty pie. And on a shit day, they pocket 17 Gs.

Wow. Yeah, what do you do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she said that house is 12,000 square feet. They've been keep on bits. It's always growing. It's always getting bigger. So I thought, I'm so curious.

So of course, I did a quick look at what they, you know, one of their videos. I'm like, what the fuck? I mean, completely. I, you know, I must have something, something wrong with my head. They've got, I don't know, how many 100 million days. What is the video? The video is, the video is, is the father, you know, going to the, you know, pushing up in the kids bedroom door and the kids clearly faking being asleep and hey, time to get up, we gotta go, no, no, no, no. Now come on, get up, dude.

I'm like, waking a kid up? What the fuck is this? I mean, I just, and that was it. I said, you know, I don't give any, I'm out. If you don't grab me in nine seconds, I'm done. Yeah. So that makes me a rage. That made me a rage.

The ace family of YouTube. Jealousy. Jealousy. Makes you a rage, you mean jealous of their success. No, I'm not jealous of their success. You know what? People, people who truly have talent and get successful, I, I, I venerate them. Yeah.

Okay. But if you don't have talent and you're successful, you're an asshole. They hate them. How do these, how do any of these motherfuckers have money? That's what I want to know. Why do why do why do all of these companies have money to prop up impassals to keep sh it terrible content going to sell ads to sell more products to morons? That's what I'm completely out. I don't know when the last time I've seen an ad was other than people telling me about the movies I should go see or whatever, but whatever system keeps that keeps

everything working that I've completely divorced myself from is working and it doesn't need me. It's assholes that have that have disposable incomes for no reason. Propping up companies that prop up Supposedable incomes for no reason, propping up companies that prop up content, targeted towards idiots and assholes. That's the system. And some kind of an idiot subsidy system where either where we could stop it if we just had more lotteries,

like if it was illegal to walk up to people who are going on their way to, you could stand outside of Rise of the Skywalker and sell lottery tickets for 10 bucks a pop. Here you you go I see I see that you're a moron because you're here to see this movie and then you have ten bucks how would you like to buy a lottery ticket instead of going to see this Hollywood trash this regurgitated reheated third that you're about to see you could win 20 bucks with that that ten dollar ten dollar ticket. I'm going down this line selling him. I'm going to draw one as soon as I go down this line,

and I'm going to hand out 20 bucks. Can I interest you in that? Yes, absolutely. Of course you can, because you're an idiot. Okay, I don't know what. I don't know. I lost this, this, this, this line, it's a long index.

It's a long, short apple. We're going to have some pretty awful problems medically uh... this uh... uh... uh... we're gonna have some pretty awful problems medically and financially because so many people way too much uh... the new england journal of medicine published a study wednesday was led by scientists in harvard obesity risk heart disease is stroked i don't know shit has all those it has all those problems

uh... underweight or normal bmi is blah blah blah probably racist uh... the sent the cdc and prevention estimates that forty percent forty percent forty percent of us adults are obese the new research predicts that by twenty thirty fifty percent of us adults will be obese in more than 29 states and 29 states more than half will be 25% will have severe obesity, which is poised to become as prevalent as overall obesity was in the 1990s. So severely obese, morbidly obese, zickeningly obese is the new

obese. There you go. That's what we're saying. Obviously, blah, blah, blah, blah, let's see. But will they have tuba music following them around? There they go. Something Larry. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. We've gotta have something, right? We have to have something.

Because the audio heralded. The, I know, I know that I cannot, they just, they simultaneously raise the smoking age to 21. That makes me a rage. Go ahead. It just does. More banning shit, more nanny state shit. You can, hey, hey kids, you can't buy a cigarette,

you can't have a drink. But you can go to Iraq and get your fucking head blown off. And we'll serve you French fries while we're doing it. 45% of deaths in the armed services are 17 to 25. There you go. Yet no one between 18 and 20 has died from a smoking-related death outside of burning to death. Good point.

Yet you are able to, from the age of, I don't know, three, walk into a McDonald's and load yourself up with this exact cancer that is so large. It is consuming half of society. This is the this is the future. This is 2020 and beyond. This is 2030 and beyond. It's free healthcare for people that can't reach their own asshole. Brought to you by God, brought to you by one person me who's paying for public schools where you where mountain dew is pumped down your throat because

the school makes 50 percent per 50 cents a squared or something like this carried into college where you drink yourself too stupid to make where you drink yourself into such a huge depression that the only way out of it is eating pies and then leading you leading you into a lifelong struggle with loving yourself with loving yourself through food that the other half of people have to pay for. Do you think anybody is so fat they can't reach their own ass, wipe their own ass? From the smell of it most of them who are that fat cannot reach their own asshole. It is so I'm a person who is not allowed to smoke where they want, drink where they

want and pay for sex from whoever they want to see that half of society gets to do what gets to indulge on a vice that is worse than all of mine combined makes me so that would make me that would piss me off enough that would piss me off enough but the fact that I have to pay for it through their health care is thousands of times worse Larry what do you have to say about that? uh... well you you may you don't you may have been well not wrong but there's another option according to that story of best and then then the three-year-old walking into

McDonald's it says uh... obesity rates among preschoolers on government food aids for the government is making a fact oh yeah uh... uh... wick or like poor poor people's food at food access in wick is uh... it's it's less nutritious then it's it's it's're malnourished.

Right. People on food stamps are malnourished and obese. So they're eating, they're eating shit food because they get EBT or whatever. They walk outside and there's a Popeyes or a McDonald's or a Carl's Jr. They're like, I mean, let's be honest. That's where we're all going.

If I could, if I walked outside and there was a fucking Popeyes there, I would clear it about one out of 10 times. I was just go, oh yeah, I mean biscuits, it's biscuits, I'd be three hundred pounds. I'm not one of these assholes who think that, like I don't have that kind of resolve. And when I see people, they're like, oh yeah, here's a news flash, eat a salad fat. So like, oh yeah, is that how, is that how you solve all of, is that how you, someone says they're, they're clinically depressed, just cheer up, idiot.

Just eat a salad, just eat a salad stupid, salad stupid like yeah they know what they're doing is wrong they can't because they've gone through their entire life having unlimited access to this shit their broken brains warped around that it's not that easy you stupid fuck what are you addicted to um I did some research I know it's probably not cohesive because I did it at the last minute, but apparently because of the Cold War, we gave the sugar farmers, we gave the sugar industry a shitload of subsidies.

I'd heard that. And they use it to lobby the government, to let them get away with anything. Because they are just as dangerous as cigarettes that have been legislated out of existence, but the sugar company, the sugar industry is a little better at lobbying the government. I guess. And, you know, my, here's my, here's my secret reason why I think it's true because women

hate the smell of cigarettes. They hate, they hate the smell, women hate the smell of cigarettes and they hate that guys are cool while they're smoking. So they, women will not take it, yet women are also too fat and they hate that guys are cool while they're smoking. So they women will not take it yet. Women are also too fat and they like eating candy bars and sweets. So they will let this shit, so they will let their kids get fat as fuck so they can do that, but they won't let smoking fly because guys enjoy it and guys are cool while they're doing it.

It's the war on man. It's yet again. Once again, once again, we have reached a new It's the war on men. It's yet again. Once again. Once again, we have reached a new battle in the war on men. Let's see if I got anything else here. Seven, about 170 billion was spent between 95 and 2010 on these on sugar commodities. I really think that's it.

Oh, the sugar industry is just getting a shit load of money to lobby our own government to let them do whatever they want. Like, okay, here's a great example. Beyond, who was that Kardashian bitch that endorsed Pepsi that did that Pepsi thing, right? Oh, yeah, which one was that? Was that Kylie or? Kylie?

I don't know. I don't know. I really don't follow them. But you remember the commercial and here you go. Here's a Pepsi. I remember. And yet you can't know. I really don't follow them. Um, well, you remember the commercial. And here you go. Here's a Pepsi. I remember. And yet you can't have like Nicholas Cage going up to a kid and just handing him a marble or a red saying,

here you go, kids, smoke up. It's cool. I have a big dick and I smoke cigarettes. Imagine that backlash. And that completely it missing from the food debate. Now, whatever. That's my rage on it. It's good rage. It's valid Yep, drugs liquor whores never did anything to anyone never heard anyone those vices yet Legislated out of existence. Yeah, not food though. I food that food

Okay, but is food really the cause of the obesity? I don't think so What do you think is the cause of the obesity cell phones? What? Yeah. Why? Why? Nobody fucking moves anymore. They sit there and they swipe and they tap and they don't fucking move.

That's what it is. You know, I mean, if you were jumping around like a flea, you could exist and probably with great health on fucking Jack in a box tacos, you know, but if you just stop moving, that's gonna kill you. No matter what, you're not gonna give it shit if you're having, you know, the best diet in the world. If you don't move, you're gonna get fat and die. Well, I'm not moving. Well, never. I can't fucking can't. Everything hurts all the time, man. Why does anything hurt you? Nothing should hurt you. I thought I'd drink too much and I think it's permanently degraded.

That will make your system. Absolutely does. There's no question it does. Okay, let's see here. I've got some interesting facts on impeachment. Would you like to hear about that? Yeah. Here's a survey. I had a conversation with coach the other day. He said that thousands of people probably think Trump's got and kicked out of being not present anymore after the

impeachment. And I said thousands, man, millions, try millions. Yes, right? Yes. Right? Absolutely. So I looked it up just to see roughly 30% of respondents in this survey correctly defined the term impeachment or its implications.

So 70% of people could not define it. 9% saying impeachment means an official is indicted by the house and triggering a trial in the Senate. Right. Do we all know that? No, only 30% apparently. Well, I mean, we in this video, we right? Do we all know that? No, only 30% apparently. Well, I mean, we in this city. Oh, we all knew. Did you know that? I should ask before, what a man, I really fuck with you.

9% said the outcome of impeachment is non-binding and that the final outcome is up to the Senate. That's pretty close. 5% said impeachment means the House formally censures an official, and this is they could pick which one it meant. 13% said it means an official is formally censured and removed from office. So you are the big stupid morons. He's fucking stupid idiots.

I love the way he circles the pages like a pissed off teacher. You know, Johnny shipbag, here's your fucking F minus. It's great. It's such a so fucking pissed off. I need the red pen for that one. Get the red pen. I want to go just say I'm taking a survey. So when people give wrong answers, that's wrong. You fucking moron. Is that the end of the survey? I'm not even doing a survey. I'm just walking around tricking people into saying something something stupid so I could parake them. If there's a bogus lottery ticket, you asshole. Seven presents said the criminal proceedings against a person begin once they are impeached. That's wrong.

Thirty-28 presents said they didn't know. Good. You know what? I'm proud of you, people. Good for you. There's a place for you in the ethno state. Six percent Nick Fuentes ethno state where you can get into conversations with people with or without their family. I just, I mean, no one gives a fuck about your family.

That's what I, that's what annoys me the most about it. This idea that anyone else gives a fuck about you or your family, fuck your family, fuck your wife, fuck your kids, fuck you. No one, no one fucking cares. Put them in a, put them,, fuck your kids, fuck you. No one fucking cares. Put them in a picture at work. No one at, no one at, only creeps, ask. That's who cares about your family.

Oh, what a pretty, what a handsome looking family you got. Get the fuck out of my office. Don't ever look at my family like that again. That's a picture just for me. What do you think about that, Larry? I agree. Six percent said none of the options defined impeachment correctly. That's the dumbest group of all.

They think they're getting tricked. They thought the survey was a trick question. They're voting Larry. Isn't that scary? Those people are voting. Fifty-four percent of respondents said they either generally or thoroughly understood how impeachment works, even though only 30% correctly defined it. Isn't that nice?

60% did not know it and got it wrong. Well, there you go. Everyone's an idiot, but me. I've got some Trump and Israel stuff. Let's read comments and then advice and then hopefully, hopefully my man Jason will be on in a moment. Jason Voorhees. Jason Voorhees, Jason the anti, what was his,

oh God, and then I'm doing, then I'm doing open phone lines. I fucking forgot about that. Larry, let's get some advice from you. Sure, sure. Yeah. Because you're the man, you've got the wisdom, you've got the lovely happy family.

I mean, I'm not talking specifically about them because that makes me creep in a weirdo. Ha ha ha ha. Hey, Dick, what's up? I've been a proud Patreoner for a while. And a listener for even longer, right? Write this email because I need advice. You can call me Chris.

We'll just say your name is Chris. I don't know, the difference. I'm leaving a company Christmas party and after an uneventful night, I thought coming into it fully equipped with the advice of Dick and Sean, I had made real progress into becoming someone who can stop being a fat virgin loser.

Like that? Unfortunately, after tonight, I haven't changed. Oh, no. The whole night, I spent bored out of mind walking around aimlessly as I was getting ready to leave this busty D cup. Hey, how is that thing still recording? Yeah. All right.

You're doing a great job, by the way. Thank you. You have an interrupted one time. You're a little light on the jazz and hums. Oh, wait, oh. There you go. You just did a weird snake-like joth thing with your mouth. That's great Sean work.

I'm gonna make sure you're doing it. Where's your V-neck? No, do you have a pair of scissors? Uh-oh, this is when you're gonna get out of control. I can already tell, I don't have a pair of scissors on me. I'm sorry, I usually have a knife in here. Okay, I'm gonna get there. Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, over going. I was getting ready to leave in this busty, de-cup redhead comes chasing after

me. Chasing in slow-mo, the city's bouncing everywhere, holiday Christmas party. Oh, yeah. Apparently she was looking for me all night and she finally caught sight of me as I was leaving. She rushes me and asks me to dance with her. Ooh, hey, boom. Game over. I bitched out. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha't, I can't even picture that. How do you do that? How do you walk away from that? I don't know. You guys have a thing with dancing. She didn't want to dance. They never, they never really want to dance.

Yeah, well, guys don't dance. I know that. They will, a significant a number of guys will not. You don't, Rich, you're saying no, you don't dance. You better, you better check that shit. No matter what. That's like a chick saying she doesn't give head. Let me just tell you straight up rich is in studio That is then that is as insane and Repugnant to me as a woman saying oh, I don't give head like bitch. Yes, you fucking do are you? Try it. Let's try it again try it again Having you dancer oh hell yeah, There we go, Larry, do you dance? Absolutely.

Never. If there's a... Never is the answer, no. If there's a payoff. Oh, I got a dictate for you. Okay. Last time when Tanner was here and I was still around in my crutches and all that, we all went out dancing

and the best thing you can have on the dance floor is a set of crutches. You just go out there, doesn't care how fucked up your leg is or anything like that. It could be hurt be hurting all the night Go just waddle up to a girl hand or their crutches. She will just immediately grab that The crutches she can't leave she stuck there like Florence Nightingale. Oh Wow That is next level. Yeah

We should send the virgins out with crutches to fake it and just hand it go up dance, hand them over, then they're stuck with you. I have an extra set. Would a cane work as well? It's a little more portable. A cane's a little too old man. Too old man. Yeah. Yeah. No, the crutches employees. Oh, I'm an athlete. Endured. I need to help. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's a great one. Okay. I kept walking and regretted it and was pissed off at what a pussy I was. She asked me to dance and after I said no twice, she said I didn't have to if I didn't want to. Oh God. Oh God. God. I just want to scream at myself. Like what are you doing, man?

Ask her about her shoes. Ask her about her shoes. You're about 10 steps behind. Man, that's Candy Land Step One. You're way at the fucking gum drop meadow motherfucker. What are you talking about, shoes? You probably answered this question countless times, but how do I stop being a huge pussy? I've recently, I've been lifting recently about four to six times a week, and I'm just trying to lose weight.

Where can I meet women? And do you think I fucked it up with this chick from work? I'm very, yeah, I'm 24 and sorry for the long email, Antspaghetti, feel free to read this on the show and thanks, wow. You gotta, I think guys are really into having their own opinions, choices and things like that. You just always say yes.

If it seems like something you should do, if the hot chick is asking you to do it, you say yes. And then if you do it too much, your friends will call you a pussy and say that you're pussy whipped and then you just start saying no until you're not getting late again. Then you start saying yes to chicks again because you know, there's nothing, there's nothing, there's no real way to know. You just say yes to get the pussy and say, no, when you're getting walked on all over, right? It's pretty easy advice, Larry. I did a whole episode about this, like three or four back.

How to get yourself a girlfriend before New Year's. And it's working like a charm. Well, what was the advice? The advice was a ton of advice, but if he wants an know where to meet James, okay, number one, the best place. You know, the thing is once, the problem is I didn't discover these things

until I had a kid myself. The first time my kid was like in preschool and I had to go into these fucking craft stores, Michael's craft stores. Oh my God, it's fishin' a barrel. I was the only guy in there. Joanne's, Michael's craft stores. Oh my God, it's fish in a barrel. I was the only guy in there. Joanne's, Michael's, yeah, it's fabric. You just hang out on the parking lot.

Not the fabric, no, the craft stores, are they so love, you know, the phone thing. And flowers. Yeah, I think if Joanne's more like a sewing thing, but it was true. I know all about Joanne's fabric, so fuck. Okay, all right, big league me. All right, so I would expect that,

but it's a fucking unbelievable. It's a benanza for meeting women. No, no, no, no, no. First of all, because chicks are into crafts, right? They're making cork reaths and Christ knows what else. And it's the perfect opportunity to say, hey, you hear, you know, or if you don't have a kid, you know, I'm not bugs.

Whatever, exactly, you know, hand tooling them. I'm helping my niece with a school project, do you know, which one of these fake things do I need? But how do you go hang out in there? You, you know, hang out, you get a shopping card, you put some shit in it, and you, when you walk around, you work the grid. Along these benches, you go in fabric with a shopping cart

walking around as long as it takes. So you could be there for like three hours. Well, I mean, you scope it out if there's something good, in car walking around. As long as it takes. So you could be there for like three hours. Well, I mean, you scope it out if there's something good. You know, you say, hello, here I am, come help me, get up. But you mean, you have to shoot with a duck's arm. You fill up your cart and then you see a hot girl

and you go by and just dump your cart over. I can do that too. Have crutches. I'm crutches. Oh no, I can't pick up all this shit. I'm handy cat bitch. I'm handy cat bitch. Oh. What else, what other advice do you have? Well, he needs to practice.

I mean, the problem is for a lot of dudes, they wait until that moment where it's the D cup red head. And then they become all the little little little, everything gets easier with practice. So it's like start guys. No, no, no, no, no, I'll have to have decops maybe. But, but you know, for them to probably, they're obese. But everywhere, talk to every female you can every time,

whether it's the checkstand woman at Ralph's or wherever the fuck you are, just get in the habit of glad talking them. And then it becomes second nature. Then when it really counts, you'll have what it takes. Well, do you have any other advice? That's good advice. You think.

You could always go to Tom Jones' room and pack your trousers with a cube or something. You know, do that. Um, yeah. Okay. If you can't get laid with that advice, then you shouldn't be having sex then, I guess. Yeah. That's what I... To porn.

Uh, okay. One more. Okay, let me see, one more. Actually, that was Jason calling. Jason. Oh, I wanna talk to him first, then we'll do some open phone lines. Hello? There we go. Hey, are you there?

Are you here? Can you hear me now? Yeah, can I hear you? Can you hear me? Fuck you, I can't. Oh, fucken hey, this is Jason from Dr. Phil the anti social the anti social Satanist or whatever they call you The sound of your voice is giving me the the most insane flashback

Yeah, yeah, why is that? Because I haven't heard it in 10, 12 years and I remember it so vividly. It's weird here. Yeah, man. How the hell are you? I'm fucking excellent. I'm a friend. How are you? I'm doing, I'm doing great.

I'm doing great. Still educating men. Still, what did I say on the show? Still educating thousands of men to the art of showpinism. Uh, it's you were a head of your fucking time. And now it's just fucking, you're a fucking head of your time. Dude, I think so too. Now, now trolling on the internet is like,

it's like an industry. It is. Yeah. Yeah. And educating men, uh, well, you guys like Jordan fucking Peter Snow, those guys out there trying to do that. Shady Ben, fucking Ben doing that that shit forever. Yeah, it is weird seeing people do it seriously I'm like, oh you guys that you know, I was like kind of kidding like not Serious So what's been what the hell happened you since Dr. Phil? Oh Man, I fucking that shit. So let me just tell you about Dr. Phil, right? Okay. That's

shit. I don't know how you ended up on there, but they kind of got to hold me because I was there's much to shit going out of my city and they kind of fucking found me. They promised me, you know, a bunch of pay and bullshit. Yeah. So I, you know, I played along with what they wanted me to fucking do somewhat for the most part. And then they fucking never paid me. Oh, so no, they gave me a thousand dollars. They're supposed to give me, they're supposed to give me at least five. We agreed on five. And then partway through the show, I was like, fuck this. I fuck doing it for, you know. And what was your position? What were they paying you to do? They were paying me to basically, he was supposed to turn me from an anti-social sexual deviant swinging in my life swinging satanist because at the time when he called me, a bunch

of satanists were fucking hanging around because we just got married on 6666 and shit. So he got turned me from that, he was gonna close down my murder shot, my shop, which they filmed on that shit before you even got to the show. They filmed me pretending to shut it down. So you're kidding me, dude. I've always wondered that. Like when I saw the wrap up and I saw you shutting your shop down, I thought, no fucking way.

How is he? Yeah, no. No, they fucking paid me to do all that shit. And then they never fucking paid me. Do you have that in writing? Well, I did. And the thing is I was gonna fight him for a while. I said, have it in writing? Well, I did and the thing is I was going to fight him for a while, I said, fuck it, because I kind of even me going on there, even me going on there ruined my reputation kind of a little bit. You know what I mean? No, I

don't mean I don't know what you mean. I have no reputation period. I never have. My reputation was just kind of, I mean, it was never any fucking high under anything, but it was through all the underground here in Salt Lake, is going in front of all that, you know, just the underground scene around here. I was just kind of a fucking sell out and that they believe what they saw on TV, which I don't understand. Oh, dude, and it produced, you know, you fucking idiots. Well, we were watching it.

Like, I had 10, 12 guys in the studio watching those tapes. We finally unearthed them 12 years later. And everyone was saying how you represented an extremely common and reasonable take that is prevalent all over the internet now. Like fuck everybody. It's like, we're like, yeah, this is like, this is like if Rick and Morty was a guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't believe I thought were a sell-out.

Well, seeing, yeah, and the thing is, I never, even as I was going to, even as I was being called a sell-out in my city, the underground magazine here, she sold out and made a documentary, she said, and fucking kind of sold out. And I went on this documentary, and fuck, fuck her, you know, I fucking said it much of shit, and they, God, they just kind of fucking ban me from fucking everything kind of they pretty much have really yeah, yeah, so it's never really changed. It's still been I've still kind of solo still on my own still doing my own fucking thing, you know, what and it's just the way it's always been.

Oh man, I can't believe they were going to pay you five grand. Yeah, they were gonna pay me. I'll end up getting a grand, but you know, I got something I guess. That's all it would be. I didn't get shit, I didn't even know we could get paid. You didn't get anything from that. No, and they brought me in. Oh, shit, you were in the long time.

I was just getting paid a long time. It's illegal for to pay it. Really? It's illegal to pay a guest. Well, yeah, okay. Do you remember when we were on that show, they kept on, I kept on, they kept on saying that he was there to help us, and I kept saying, you think I have a fucking problem? Yeah, I have a fucking problem? Like, he's talking about a problem.

Yeah. No, I don't have this fucking problem. You know, like, you know, his help was the pay. That's what we agreed to in the contract. Right. So, yeah, so they weren't supposed to pay you because if they pay you, then that means really, my outcome is an act which my outcome

wasn't. Yeah. Wow, that's crazy. Did you know that Shirley and Crystal sued them and got a shitload of money out of them? You know, I didn't know that until here's the thing. I didn't, I fucking put that show behind me. I didn't fucking look about it and I just ran across you on Reddit just some, just fucking just as a coincidence.

I fucking ran into you and I was like, what the fuck? And then I read a little bit that they sued and the thing that they sued on was the that the doctor Phil had a right arm in obligation to protect them or whatever. Yeah, the naked guy. Yeah. Well, that's a bunch of bullshit. What she said there, fucking scream a rape and fucking remember that. Yeah, right. My fucking ass. Shirley said they, uh, they came to her house and filmed her and then they got one clip of her saying she, they made her say, I hate men at the end and then got it all out of context.

But then when we watched it, it is clearly she was talking mad shit about hating men the entire time. I mean, I thought it was the shit that she called you and said, I don't actually call you until Jesus, you hope you do well and shit, is that true? She emailed me after the show, she found the website and figured out that it was like a big joke and emailed me and she goes, oh, you're not, you're not a bad guy. Like, I fucked Dr. Phil, I hope you're doing okay. Oh, so they, those women didn't realize it was a fucking shit. They didn't realize it was going on at all. It doesn't sound like you know. I guess.

No. But as stupid as the lawsuit is, I think it's hilarious that they actually got a shit load of money out of Dr. Phil and me and you, me and you didn't get shit. The smart one. Yeah, I got raped. I got raped. Like keep fucking smart one. I got raped. Like keep fucking coming to hell.

I got raped then. You know, I fucking know I didn't get raped. That's a lot. Uh, how did they find you? I've always wanted to know that. Well, so, uh, like I said here in, in Salt Lake, um, uh, there's a bunch of shit going on. And, uh, one of the bands that I knew,

they kind of started blowing up and they were going to be on this TV show with ABC and I don't remember what it's called but they called and got a hold of me and they wanted me to do the show with them and things didn't work out. What the year is actually what it was we have a bunch of serial killer oil paintings that was painted by this church of Satanist guy and they wanted to have some conversation that we're going to destroy them, but they wanted to make fake ones to destroy them with. And I said, if you're going to do that, then I'll just take that extra money. Don't do that.

And don't destroy them. That's fucking stupid. And then it just came down to principle. And I said, no. And while I was going on Dr. Phil, from Dr. Phil got a hold of me from some question, I filled out. I don't know. Because one was maybe seeing them from CBS.

Anyway, back that I called a bunch of people Sheeple and I remember that. So I started to fucking Sheeple fucking rant. I never heard before. I never heard anybody calling me by Sheeple before. They were just like, one time ago. So what do you have a problem with? What do you all have a problem with? I was like, I have a problem with those fucking Sheeple idiots, fucking people that? And I was like, I have a problem with this fucking sheep already at the fucking people that

said on the bus and read the Bible, if you can read something, fucking read something that ain't wasted our time, like don't read fucking nonfiction and then fucking, you know, if it's a waste of my fucking, it's a waste of fucking time and whatever. And he's like, well, you would be willing to do a show whatever and they didn't tell me what it was

at first. It was a reality show with other people. I was like, that sounds dope, yeah, I'll fucking do that. And come to find out it was Dr. Phil. And I was like, well, then they told me that it was a new thing he was trying. And I was like, well, tell me that shit too. Yeah, I'm a partner. You also shelled him with your producer, keep that you got you too. Yeah, shelled him. So shelled him found my website, menabedandwomen.com, like two or three weeks before that show taped, they

had another guy who was supposed to be the woman hater, but after talking on the phone, I assume that they decided I would be funnier and not like the other guy sounded like kind of a scumbag, or maybe I just would stand by what I was saying. But they hooded him. So I think you're giving you a good, good gimmick, so you want to take out your sunglasses, you said what you, you didn't fucking round off and a bunch of nonsense get caught up in a dumb shit. No, that's what I wanted to know about too.

What was your interview process like? Like when you were in the house, the behind the stuff that didn't make it to air, I don't even know if you've seen the episodes, but the stuff that didn't make it, all of the manipulating and the psychology shit, the stuff that didn't make it, all of the like manipulating and the psychology shit, I thought that was fascinating. Yeah, so they took me back.

So well, in the house, even aside from that, I don't know if you noticed, do you remember that making me change my fucking clothes all the time? Yes. Right before we went on that show, you've heard of bump fights on a snowman into climbs. So those dudes, I know through somebody else, Ryan McPherson, the guy that did that. And right before we went on, he went to prison, but he had his crew go on there and they wore suits and shaved their head like Dr. Phil went out on stage. I remember that.

And they kicked him off. And so like I was trying to represent on my friends. I took all their shirts and all that shit on the show. So they kept making me change my shirt, but aside from that, so it's taking me from that, they kept taking me back because I had agreed to be their little, to go back and take directions from them and come back in the house and do and say stuff. So they kept on doing that.

Yeah. Like what? What did they tell you to say? That's fucking fascinating, man. I had no kind of arrangement with them. Like when they took me out to interview me, they would give me a series of escalating angry producers to like badger me and to try and get me to say something

they could take out a context. Yeah, see, the older female producer, she worked with me the entire fucking time because when they came to my to Salt Lake sell liquor, they also followed me to Vegas because I wasn't completely sure that I was going to do what they wanted. And the producer out there told me, look, this is exactly what they're looking for. So this is what we need you to do. And so I was like at this point, I was like, okay, I can do all this for the money.

I'll do all that. I'm fine with that. And they're like, we're going to make you a fucking taste. You got a problem with fat people. You got a problem with old people. You got a problem with just everybody fucking everybody. So basically what they want to me to do the most since they since Kimberly had the the biggest.

Yeah, she's fun. She didn't make any sense. If you remember, she's always fucking doing dumb shit. It was basically to get under her skin. They're like like we need you to let her know that you and your wife swing Which we don't Shit like that, you know just to just tons of shit, you know, I don't remember exactly the swinging one It was the one I remember the most Fuck I don't I don't even really remember but yeah, they they kept on doing that. It was mostly to her and then they found out that me and Kirstal

Kirstal kept on passing me drugs like they kept on passing me just pills. What? What kind of pills? Yeah, like what? Just so much of painkillers shit like that. Oh Man, there was a lot of stuff going on in that house. Yeah, they never said anything and I got sick of playing their game. That's why fucking slept outside the whole time. Like fucking it. I'm sleeping outside. I remember that sleeping outside thing. I always thought that was a little weird. What the hell is that? Is there something? Is there? Is there? You know something I don't about sleeping

outside? Do they make you say anything to me? Are they trying to get you to fuck with me at all? No, they were not. And so I assume that you were kind of the same as me, but I wasn't sure, what was a heart percent sure? I couldn't quite tell. I, the whole thing fucking with you and your glasses the whole time, I don't remember that more than anything. Like just, why don't just take them off? Take them off.

I've had something to do with anything. And I always, you know, always proplexplexing, I was like, what the fuck? Maybe you weren't wondering whether you had something to on or not. I decided before, I don't, I think it was shortly before going on the show that I would take them off if anybody ever asked me nicely.

And that would be like a joke. But then they were so hostile immediately, I just said, oh, fuck you. Like, okay, I had thought there would be, I had never watched Dr. Phil before going on. And for some not very naive reason, I thought they would be much more cordial with me. And then when he immediately started in with the short jokes, it's like, okay, that's it's going to be like baseball practice. All right, assholes.

No problem. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, that whole thing was such a fucking, such a weird fucking experience that I, I tried to forget immediately after I got my check, you know, so I can imagine, are you still married? You got kids?

Yeah, well, my kids are, my, my kids are older, like, you know, but I'm still married, yeah, everything's still the same. You still have your own shot? No, actually, I did. I actually did shut that down. And the funny thing is I didn't shut down anything to a Dr. Phil. I shut it down because the problem with its guy

around that was doing this was hooked up with rotten.com. I can remember them that I can the day. Yeah. Had this prediction that Obama would get elected and that the serial killers would go away and spree and school shootings would mass murders would fucking take over. And so I sold on my shit and was gonna actually get into that

and then I thought, I was only really doing that really even just for the fuck of it. My wife came up with this last supper shirt with all the serial killer on she's like Binchie code was coming out The last supper who was the main man in the middle which It was a between him and him and Ted Bondy, but we still don't Jeffery just because Charlie, yeah, I would think, you know, who's Charlie M. Manson, sort of the most famous.

He doesn't have it all together though. He's not a leader. But yeah, he does. I don't believe he's cirrhocular either. He's kind of a pawn. You think? Psycho pawn. Really?

I kind of think. Well, you know, at the end of the 60s, I kind of think that he got, you know, the end of the hippie movement, you know, they wanted to mix and start the war on drugs and war on crime. And he gave us the poster child for that in a little way. I didn't answer that. I fucked the cycle. Man, I wish you were, I wish we had connected before we did the big watch through of all four episodes. That would have been fucking fascinating. I never seen them. So I can't believe you've never seen them. I thought you came off great. Like they don't they don't get you on they don't get you on damn near anything.

I don't know Kevin. Do you know the thing is I knew how they wanted it to come out and I assumed it was going to come out that way, especially like I said, they filmed ending before we ever left. So I you know, I knew whatever pretty much, I don't know. I still feel like I see where people say I sold out or whatever. I sold out for the money. I gave them what they wanted for the money, even though I wasn't sure or whatever. Yeah. I think people get jealous too.

Absolutely do. Because I thought you came off great, even for your community that you pulled it off really well Well, so I like to bunch of fucking Yeah, it's okay. So wait, so you sent me this email. Let me let me look at it You that you have the tapes You your mother-in-law recorded that shit. You have them all you have you have the VHS tapes. So after 10 years, I had this bounty on the episodes of a thousand bucks for years. Somebody finally, yeah, man, somebody finally found them in a media vault.

I believe somebody, I believe somebody committed high treason and Sweden and stole them from the Swedish media vault to release them to the public. Wow, really? The Swedes have those in there. Because they're so restrictive on what goes in their content that they archive everything. Really?

Yeah, everything that ever goes on TV there, they archive it. So they have it in their archive. And somebody basically mission impossible, their archive, Cool. And upset them, breathe, and absconded with them. So I, I mean regrettably, I already paid the bounty, but fuck, I would love the VHS tapes of what you've got there.

I don't know what I can do for you. Well, well, we can figure something out. I don't really know. I don't really give a shit about money. I was thinking, I was wondering what you wanted for it. All I could think of was maybe you wanted to make a big fucking montage for some fucking feminist shit or some fucking crazy rants in those women. I didn't really fucking know what you wanted.

They're like my rosebud. I just want to hold, I want to sleep with them. I want to hold them to my chest and feel warm and cuddle up with them because that was basically the start of my, that was the legitimization or the canonization of my internet asshole career. Nice. Yeah, nice.

Well, I had to take the truth. I was kind of surprised. I don't know. I don't know. Not surprised. That's not the right word. Maybe it is. That's, I don't know.

A bunch of stuff, you know, all the meat too, all this stuff that should happen. And I kind of, I was kind of surprised to see that you weathered the storm after so many people fell. It's like you and Dave should help me through. Oh, bro, I'm banned from UCB theater. I used to be a regular performer at UCB Comedy Theater. I don't know if you've heard of that comedy brand.

I have. It's a big comedy theater in LA. And I was a regular at there. One of their big shows sold out every month. And somebody published one, this guy, this guy who used to be a comedy partner, mine, he found out I was dating one of his, as dating as X, and he lost his mind and made this like basically hit piece, accusing me of being a rape apologist and throwing some of my best clips in this weird

video. He put it out to the Hollywood media, right, when that stuff, like the, I don't know, not media, but like his local circle of accomplished internet comedians. And I was instantly blacklisted from basically everything. Like, people won't call in the show. People won't do the show. Even though it's massively successful, huge audience,

tons of money, people just won't associate with me because of it. People who I've known for, people who I had known for seven years worked with them for, worked with them on tons of stuff, didn't work for free for them. They won't even fucking text me back anymore. So yeah, I, if, if, it's been crazy, I survived because this show is so successful and because so many people supported, But Hollywood-wise and comedy-wise, I'm dead. Well, it's a new era anyway, right? It's a new fucking time. Like, the internet and Patreon, things like that, you know, peer, basically, peer, peer, you know, not just

not just currency, but everything. Support. It's a new era. They're dead. They don't even know they're fucking dead, you know? Yeah. Don't wake up one day dead. So. Yeah. They don't even know their fucking dad, you know, yeah, yeah. So yeah. Well, shit, man, it's great to talk to you. Thank you for calling in. I know, yeah. I could reminisce about Dr. Phil all day. I'll shoot you another email at all those tapes and stuff.

Yes, please God. Where do you live now? I still live in Salt Lake. Okay, maybe we do a show there. We do live shows all around all around the country. I wish we did them around the world But I'm also banned from Australia as it turns out Maybe we'll do Salt Lake what you get a bad Australia for

The same shit from the big tap Yeah, so I give you that venue I applied to get I applied for my visa the day the day before the Christ Church shooting Yeah, and they went and they went 10,000% lockdown. Nobody who's remotely offensive can come in overnight, like it fucked my whole ass. We had a we had a whole tour of Australia set up paid for no travel insurance, of course, because what could possibly go wrong? that fucking Christ church shooting mother fucker screwed me at a screwed everybody out of that whole thing. Um, I have very unfortunate.

Wow. Wow. Well, uh, when you come to Salt Lake, yeah, let me know. Uh, it'd be great to know what you do here. Yeah. Uh, what, what, what do you, what do you do here when you come here? You do, do, do here when you come here? You do live show. People get drunk and punch each up throw up all over each other and kick the shit out of each other. And that's pretty much it. That sounds like my jam right there. All right. Last question. What makes you a rage? What makes you a rage? What makes you a rage? I ask everybody that who calls in. What makes you? What pisses you off what met? Let's you know, you know what what really pisses me off is People that can't pull their fucking head out of their ass and see like I'm gonna use Alex Jones here for an example and they they they bitch about fucking

Freedom and they bitch about all this fucking shit But they won't fucking do a goddamn thing put the their ass in the line, or even set up a fucking anything, do a bunch of bitching, and not any fucking action whatsoever. Like what? Just final postings. What can I mean? What?

What can action you want in the future? Well, like that. Like action at all, like action at all. I'm not particularly honored to agree with Alex Jones, exactly, we'll say, but I agree with his right to be on the internet and say what he wants. The internet, we had choices to vote on natural neutrality, the dumb one and whatever.

We had choices even when the Patriot Act got rewritten to the Liberty Act. You don't pay attention to anything that affects us. We do a whole lot of fun. We're just complacent to fucking everything. We just bitch and fucking bitch. Yeah, watch fucking football and fucking bitch and bitch and bitch and watch fucking football. Bitch and bitch and fucking slowly, like everything fucking to road away. And then we try to, then we, then we, we try to demonize people like you or people like Alex,

people, they're just doing the fucking thing, you know, so fuck off. That's what this is me off. He's the same guy. The same guy. Hi, Jay's a good out of here, man. I'm going to go. Thank you. Thank you for calling in. Thank you very much. All right. Let me see. I forget how I'm supposed to get people to a Mormon

Satanist swinger. Is that what that's a Jason and I can't believe he made money I cannot fucking believe I'm the only person only made a grand I was 27 a grand would have gone a long fucking way I was the only one that didn't make any money on that show everybody else made money but me I was the dumbest one on that show out of all the guess I was the stupidest one on that show. Out of all the guests, I was the stupidest. Oh man.

And what were the short jokes from Dr. Phil? I mean, you're not a short guy. Is he six feet tall? I'm a manlit Larry. Oh manlit is I'm a manlit. I'm only six feet tall as pathetic. And he's what? Six, three or something like that.

Yeah, yeah. He's a tomato can. He's because he's so fat. He's a tomato can. Sure. Okay, if everybody, whoever wants to call in, say something He's a tomato can. Because he's so fat. He's a tomato can. Okay, if everybody whoever wants to call in, say something in the general room or who's ever got something to say, I want to do a, uh, get whatever makes you a rage and maybe I don't know. What's the worst sob story from the year or something like that?

It's a special episode. I want to give everybody a chance to say something. What do you want for Christmas, Dick? Uh, who I want for Christmas? Who chance to say something. What do you want for Christmas, Dick? What do I want for Christmas? Yeah, I told me to knock it. I've been very clear about that. I got one thing on my list, Santa. I will print it across the sky if you need me to do it, but that's all I want.

Okay, okay, okay, here, I'm going to go through everybody here. Eric, Eric the Red, let's see here. Eric the Red, what makes you rage buddy? Well, it's not so much what makes me a rage, but I didn't want to share a random fact that I thought you would appreciate. What's here? Tyrannosaurus Rex,

male T-Rexes have nine-foot penises. What? How do they know? Had, I guess you could say. Mm-hmm. Nine-foot penis. Which means nine-foot penis. Which means, nine-foot penis, which also means that a female T-Rex has a nine-foot vagina. Well, no, because he's got to snake it up under the tail. That's why they got such long penises.

Plus, doesn't that have to be an extravagant? You're getting to that. There's no real bullying here. So, theoretically, if a female T-Rex had a nine-foot vagina, Well, there is a dick bone, yeah, because dogs have a dick bone. Humans are unusual, and I think they don't have a dickbone. Yeah, humans are unusual, I think. Really? They don't have a dickbone, I don't know.

Eric, go ahead with your T-rex. I could sit on your shoulders and the two of us standing up could comfortably fit inside of a T-rex as vagina. Amazing. All right, thank you for the call, Eric. One more thing, one more thing. One more thing. Speaking of T-rex vaginas, all T-Rex sex is anal sex.

No, it's not. What do you mean it's not? No, it's not. T-Rex is a real dick. Come on. Do they shit out, come on, unfertilized eggs? What are you talking about? Most lizards have one hole called a cloaca, which they sperm into and shit out of,

usually not at the same time, but he's really one opening. Is that a croissant made in cloaca really one opening. It's an animal sex. Okay. All right. Did you know what? Sean's missing all this animal facts while he's not here. All right. Get out of here, Eric.

Have fun. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. I've got to go fast because there's so many people. Send, I'm going to go in order on the chat. So have your, have your shit queued up. It's true. All right. All right. There we go. order on the chat. So have your shit queued up. It's true.

All right, there we go. I gotta mute. I don't know how to move people. Hayes and Cruz changed this a little bit, but I can't move everybody down because they're kind of stuck. Okay, here's Seshi. Seshi Knight, Seshi Knight,

Tendacle Prince, what do you got for me, man? Hey, Brown. Yeah, yes you are. Okay, cool. Yeah, yeah. So I'm actually pro-burn go, Prince, what do you got for me, man? Hey, Brown. Yeah. Yes, you are. OK, cool. Yeah, yeah. So I'm actually pro-born band after hearing that guy. Well, I only heard a little bit of the debate

between what's that guy, Rackets and Vincis? Yeah. Vincis, whatever. Yeah, so yeah, I only caught a bit of it. But now I'm pro-born band, at least a temporary one for like maybe like two years or so, and then that should be good enough. And- Oh, and then the federal government will stop banning things,

is that how that's gonna work? No, the way that they're gonna work is, they're gonna ban porn, but they're gonna still keep on making it because a porn band is retarded, and they're just gonna keep on doing it. So, do you remember the porn corn from the mid 2000s? Like, they should make back that? I've seen a lot of corn,

you're gonna have to help me out. What about it? Well, okay, so that guy Vince was making a big complaint about the most popular video on corn hobby is like step sister, step brother, having sex. Basically, that his complaint is like, it's so taboo that the most popular thing is To like just just only two people having sex and they're they're role-playing as non-blood relatives Yeah, so you know that's going too far for him

But but in the mid two thousands they had like they had like the shit that you could watch where, back then, porn wasn't all this vanilla shit that's been infesting the porn realm. Now it's all super vanilla because of probably Reddit anyway. I mean, so not on the sides I go too. I can't find these sites anymore, but the thing is, it used to be the kind of shit that you want to do back in life, but but you want to check off to it. So I don't think that we've invented many new taboos. Like this is like Sigmund Freud was, it wasn't criticized for saying outrageous things

like women want to fuck the electric complex. This is the edible complex is this is this goes way way back. This is not new. Um, but I mean, okay, if you go and pour, I'll probably have to talk to them. I'm not sure if you're trying to search for like a girl getting fucked in the ass while like all the guys shoving her head in the toilet,

or if you're gonna search for like a straight trap or whatever, it's gonna be hard to find. Whereas in like mid 2000s, it was like a lot easier to find stuff like that. So I don't know about that, man. That might just be your experience. So, you know how, like, in Japan, they came up with all this weird,

different themes and stuff like that. I will know soon. Yes. Well, I mean, you can find it online too. But, yeah, I don't think that they would have invented Bokake if they didn't have that whole, you know, moseyeic shit that was going on right now.

Oh no. So I agree with, so I think that in Japanese porn, again, we know my favorites, it fucking annoys their moseyeic shit, drives me insane, not just because I can't see the cocks. I don't care about the pussy, I don't wanna see the pussy. Keep it moseyeic,

but the penises I do want to see, because that's what I'm identifying with. Like I need to see all this lobbying all of it. I think they grow out their pubic hair so that it can show through the mosaic. Like I think that the Japanese are rocking these massive bushes, so it can be seen in the mosaic, through the mosaic. That's just my theory.

And I heard they had a they're equivalent of a congressman who's trying to put the otaku congressman who's trying to get rid of the mosaics. Um, yeah. So that's what I think is like I think that like America would have been the ones who invent bukkake if Japan had allowed like uncensored shit right from the beginning because they're like, they're like, and it would be called something in English too. It would be like like co-op,

cum shot or some shit like that. But anyway, like that party. Yeah, I don't know, I think they got weird sensibilities. They got different sensibilities over there because they had to find ways to like make it more erotic because they can't see the dick or I guess, or which I never would have. Maybe, all right, all right, get out here.

I got a lot of people to go. I can talk about porn all night. What if you can't locate this tome check? What's your plan B? I'm gonna kill myself. There's no reason for me to live. If I can't meet to tell me to knock it. And I have your shotgun when you're dead.

No, I have explicit instructions to liquidate my stock portfolio and burn everything and even stiff the people who are doing that. I have secret instructions from my lawyer to also stiff them of that payment that they get for doing it. Okay, let's see here. Who else I got here? Good guy.

Good guy, Mormon. You want to talk to? There are always Mormons. What is with you in the Mormons? I don't know. What do you think? All right. Good guy, Mormon. Real fast. What do you got? Well, I'll make a quick mind's curings

because anytime I make coffee out of it, it tastes exactly like asshole. That's perfect. That's perfect. End it right there. Curegs, I hate curegs. They just seem gross. Well, they do seem disgusting,

plus they're an environmental disaster. They seem like you're getting your coffee out of a colon. Yeah. Like nothing is ever clean on the inside. It's constantly gross and rotting. Uh, Chubby pencil. Let's see here. Oh, God, Chris, the key we wants to call in too.

Okay. Chubby pencil. What do you got? Okay. So the Tammy, I love your laugh bitch, like from like year so ago that comedy album. Yeah. I live in the same town as her,

and I found out through catering and event of her, she's now some sort of fucking self-help motivational speaker, crazy shit with like local radio or some shit. Okay. Yeah. That you still have the same laugh? I did not stick around enough to find that shit. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That you still have the same laugh? I did not stick around enough to find that shit. I just got the food there. Got out. I love that. I love that. I'm not going to eat. That was my funny, even a little touch on. Okay. Thank you for the

update, Chubby Pencil. I have a good one. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Who else here? Oh, fuckface Matt. All right. I assume if you're talking in there, you wanna talk. Hey, Matt. What's going on, buddy? What's up? What's up?

What makes me a rage is TVs that don't have volume buttons on them. They make me want to kill myself. Your TV doesn't have a volume button on it. You never remote? No, I have a few TVs that have no volume on them. And they make me fucking crazy. Cause it's like a defeat. So point, cause like, why do I have to have a remote? I don't ever remember where the remote is. You're right. Shoot the TV like Elvis. That's the answer.

All right. Thank you. Thank you. Fuck face, Matt. Gaber Ham sandwich. Okay, Gaber Ham sandwich, what's going on? Whoops. Hi. Hi. What's going on? Hey, I have a rachria.

Okay, let me have it. It's everyone who won't get the fuck out of my way. In what way, like people in your life, from you accomplishing your goals, which is physically like your grocery store and just everyone's fucking around. Try just yelling obscenities. Go around. I've thought of just deciding to never, like, if somebody's in my way, just don't stop and just see what happens, But you're going to jail.

I try engaging them in conversations about Israel. Just constantly walk around going, hey, can I talk to you about Israel? What's going on? What do you think about you? You got any opinions about Israel? Do you know anything about they'll scatter? That's a good idea. Yeah, I'll give that a shot.

All right, get out of here, K Abraham. I see it. And Merry Christmas! Am I supposed to, I don't know if I'm supposed to mute or serve or mute people? That guy, he should develop a tuberculant cough. That would get them out. Oh, yeah, that's better advice.

I used to use that in movie theaters. You really? Yeah, some seven footer is in front of me. Oh, yeah. Watch him move fast, fast, they move. Okay, Riley, Riley, what do you got? Hey, buddy, what's up? Hey, Merry Christmas. Yeah. Hey, buddy, what's up? Hey, Chris.

Yes. Check out Johnson's new game, calling you Siege, if he's into a beta key for it. Oh, I need to get one, dude, you're in it. Siege is in it. Awesome. This is great. Johnson's making a new version of my website.

Okay. And Siege and I are going to host a new podcast together on it. Oh, you're, Rollers. Yeah, Holy Rollers, Holy Rollers, we're going to be preaching every week to the church of the Holy Rollers. We're going to be doing the sinners who don't think like we do.

That's good. All right, I like it. I like it. No, okay. Congrats, missed. I got Appropoe of nothing.

Do you guys remember? You know what else I'll keep going through these guys. I got a really funny John breaks bad news clip to play to T.Rex sex Kim crippled Jesus. Oh crippled Jesus. What's up, buddy? Yeah, hey, hey, how you doing? What do you got married Christmas guys? I have a Christmas. I have a quick story about fat shaming for the holidays. Okay. But I think you are all love. So as everyone knows, I am crippled.

And I have to have in house help, like nurses, you know? I didn't know that. Oh, you didn't know that. Well, yes, I have to have nurses they helped me piss they moved me from them and out of the bad things of that nature is it always worse or is it no you can't man man you cannot scoot past nurses in Well, one is my aunt, and then the other one is actually her, and then the other one quit because of fat jokes I mean. Was she fat?

Yes, she was very fat. She was fat and her, so fat and fat. How fat was she? She was so fat that she could not wipe my ass. It's not a joke. She was that bad. What? So far, the job is to wipe your ass and she was so fat that she couldn't do it.

Right. When I'm sitting on the toilet at the same time she could not sit her Fat pocket Just let you have a city So I would just have to have a shitty ass for her shift For when to come and wipe my ass. Oh God. She couldn't get like, I thought fat people are well versed in having like an ass wiping brush. Now they have something that they get reached back there.

She couldn't do that. I thought about getting a bad day in man, but it was a good thing to see quit. Yeah, you gotta get a bad day either way. This will change your life, even if they can wipe your ass. That's what I hear. Gail went for Christmas. Why did you wait long enough for her to quit? And not just fire?

Good question. Well, I was gonna fire her, but she was a coworker of my mom's, and my mom was giving me shit for saying fat jokes. So I was like, no, he really heard her feeling. And she scared the fan of you. I'm not going to be a fan of you. I'm not going to be a fan of you. I'm not going to be a fan of you.

I'm not going to be a fan of you. I'm not going to be a fan of you. I'm not going to be a fan of you. I'm not going to be a fan of you. I'm not going to be a fan of you. that got me a look was there with this like sorority protesting abortion or whatever the fuck. It was something stupid and I just rolled down the window and I went, no! And then he drives on. Yeah.

I could imagine. All right, girl, well, Jesus, you got anything else? You have a podcast with Riley? Yeah, we are working on a podcast with Riley. And I also tune on the plug Johnson Brown's game. I did some voice over work for it. And it was a great time. What's it called?

Uh, Colin, he's siege. Okay, Colin, he's siege. Miraculously Riley? Uh, colony siege. Okay, colony siege. We're miraculously Riley. I couldn't understand. Perfect. colony siege. All right. Where do you go to get it? Steam. It's in beta testing right now, but I believe it'll be on steam. All right. Hey, cripple Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, it was good seeing a Minnesota, uh, cripple brotherhood forever. Oh

You're Kevin yeah, yeah, got me that lap dance awesome brother. Oh you got in the Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, cripple Jesus did we talk about how that fucking bouncer? Yeah, it's turning chicks away from us because of your Maga hat Yeah, I Wasn't on the show for it, but I heard you talk about it. Yeah. Dude, I think of that maybe every week and it repisses me off. So the strip club that I like going to around here, last time I went there, no one took their tops off.

So I said, I'm never coming here again, but the only other option is spearmen, Rhino, who hates Trump, who hates our president, and who hates black unemployment numbers going down. I guess, so I'm really stuck. I don't know what to do now. Maybe I have to start my own strip club. What kind of strip joy do you do? I think it was that guy in particular too,

because he kicked out Reilly for saying that he was too drunk, but all he did was just stumble like a little bit. He was like, man, fuck that guy. Yeah. All right. Just trying to get that guy to even get a girl for a crippled Jesus, I had to like roll up to him, hold a stack of singles with, you know,

a 20 wrapped around the outside guy. My friend here, you know, he's, he wants a dance. You know, he's a little lonely, ball. I had like sweet talking a little bit. Yeah. 20 minutes of that, just to get him to get someone up there. What a person. For the guy to go get a girl?

Yeah. Why don't you just go get the girls? I was in a wheelchair. Oh, that's right. We had multiple wheelchair. What a shit show. All right. See you, crippled Jesus.

Thank you to hear me out. See you, see you, Jay. Uh, okay, who do I have next? Well, John, okay. Wet bandit. He wants to talk about his foreskin. All right, hey, what's up, Wet bandit? Can you hear me?

Yeah, what do you got? So for the past like five years, I've been jerking off in this weird way where I'll cost my foreskin to stretch and The stretch foreskin isn't as wide as the regular foreskin So now I try to pull my foreskin back. It hurts my dick. It's too tight. It's like you're like you can't squeeze it through Yeah, oh wow. How do you jerk off that has caused this? I like pinched my foreskin at the top over my head.

Okay. But then just rubbed my head, I guess. I don't know. You used to answer jerk off? No, it's with one hand. You get like the thumb in the index finger. Okay. It's a pinch.

All right. That's what pinch is. And then I palm my head. Okay. And just shake, I guess. I don't know. You shake it around? Yeah.

Like a shake weight or like a maraca, which way are you going? Shake weight goes. Shake weight. Shake weight, okay. And that has stretched your foreskin out. That doesn't sound that weird. Well, it's kind of a problem. Well, I'm not going to say I want to see it, even though everyone in here wants to see it right now.

I can promise you that. Yeah, that's rough, man. Maybe Santa will bring me a new foreskin. All right, get out of here. All right. And see you. Thank you. All right, get out of here. All right, bandit. See ya. Thank you.

Who else we got here? Screwy Louie. Okay. Screwy Louie. Let's hear it. Screwy Louie, what's up, man? Hey, man, what's up? So what do you got for me?

Okay, so currently I do tech support, and you know with someone who called in some old person asking about amps we sell. First they ask, hey, how are you doing it, and I'm like, I'm good. Like what you mean you good? You got breath in your lungs, you got more wonderful day, and I'm like,

bro, can I just like, what do you want? Yeah. And after that, like, they asked a question, I answered their questions, and they asked another one, and I answered that one too, one nice the whole time. And after that, they were just like, okay, got my questions answered, I'm gonna leave. They call back, and then they asked to talk to my manager.

Really? Why? Excuse me, at least, sir, why do you wanna talk? Oh, I don't wanna, I can't tell you, I just need to talk to you a minute. Yeah. Who's more blessed enough? Oh, oh, sir. Why do you want to talk? Oh, I don't want to I can't tell you I just need to talk to you many. Yeah Okay, blessed enough. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's why I don't understand like I'm you're talking to me about $1,400 and that you're trying to get for your home theater system

I work in an office with chicks that speak Mandarin if they don't look at me because they're afraid of me Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're doing pretty good, mate. I'm not feeling that kind of way all the time. I got to start complaining to managers because there's people on the other side that are trying to increase the fraternization of the employee and the customer. And I'm on the other side not going to restaurants anymore because a waitress tried to have a conversation with me. As soon as they start, oh, you know, I'm having a, well, I'll tell you what,

as soon as those eyes look up into the right, I think I'm never coming to this fucking place again, shut the fuck up, walk out into the street and just stand there with your eyes closed. I do not want, I don't want a conversation with this meal or I would have come here with a woman Yeah, that sucks man Yeah, Rick. Yeah, how's the virgin stuff going? Next week we have a woke poetry someone going to like I said I'm called the black experience I'm doing Oh, I'm going to a rave with one of my buddies. You're going to a rave? Yes. Are you bringing ecstasy? I don't know.

What the fuck? Now, I'm now my wingman bowler. Oh my god. Oh my god. When am I going to Japan? OK, yeah, man, if you're going to a rave, if you have even the tiniest bit of ecstasy, you will make friends for life.

And by friends, I mean, a friend who will suck your cock. Try it, oh man, try empire. Somebody will help you. That someone will help you. I have faith in the community. All right, man, have a good Christmas. Good luck. Thank you.

I see John breaks bad news and here you can put him on. Oh, I love that guy. Hey, John breaks bad news. You you can put him on. Oh, I love that guy. Hey, John breaks bad news. You there? News, you there? Hey. There you are. And get a little bit of echo.

Get a little bit of echo. Somebody found it. He told me to knock a event. Oh, yeah, it's feeding back. John, John, John, John. I just hear myself. You there? You there?

John! You do this, man? You do it. You do it on the internet. You do it. You do it. You do it. You do John! You do this, man? You do it! You do it on the internet!

You need your headphones! Let's get Chris the Kiwi. Maybe some people will want to talk to him. He's usually a fascinating individual. Let me pull up stuff he's been up to recently. John, fix your fucking audio too. There he is. Chris, the key, are you there?

Yeah, I'm here. How's the audio? Good. It sounds fantastic. It sounds clearer than everybody we've talked to all night. How the hell are you? I'm fine. Thank you.

I've got something to read out to you. Okay. Oh, this is about the hook that I was talking about that I texted Mr. John the S-cord site. All right. Yeah, so I came across a soccer on a dating site and I texted Mr. Chair with my photo and said, quote, are you feeding a family or do you want one? No reply and I texted and I said, quote, your rude.

Yeah. No reply and I text her and I said quote your route. Yeah Then she immediately faints me and talks very fast, but sounds nice then says she's busy and hangs up on me I Send your text, but she never applies to any of them, but always rings me up in response Then one of their phone calls she asked what I do for a work then then I'm not going to lie to her and I say, I'm a government payment. Then she stopped talking to me all together after I asked her out for a coffee. Then I text her and call her a dick and say, I hope she gets AIDS. Then she finds that really angry. Then I text her, apologizing.

She seems to calm down. Then I ask her her for a copy. Then she quietly says, then she quietly says, I'll think about it. No phone call from her since. What do you think I should do, Dick? You're texting a, you're talking to a hooker about getting coffee?

What do you mean? You said she was a hooker. Did I miss, did I miss understand that? Yeah, she's a hooker on a dating side, but I just wanted to, I was just using, I just used the hooker side as a, like a hooker side as a dating side. So I figured I wanted to, actually, wanted to go for a coffee. But why are you using a hooker side as a dating side? Yeah, the question. I don't know, because I can't see the get a, I can't see the get I can't see the get anyone near you the way so the sort of my trauma like if you know, do they have Michael's craft stories?

Well, that's like they're there for you. Lookers. Did I get to do it? Hey, yeah, did I confuse you before? What was it? No, I just wanted to make sure I understood correctly. You are on a hooker side. What's the name of the side? It's called escoatsandbames.com. Are you? Okay. Escoats, I might have been to that site.

Escoatsandbames.com.au. And you go there and you ask hookers out for coffee. So we got that. Well, is it that? I think I've developed a bit of a... you ask hookers out for coffee. Something like that. Well, is it that? I think I've developed a bit of a reputation because a lot of them abuse me and they put me on the blacklist site and they say, oh, and they Google my number

and they say, oh, is this Chris McAddy or something like that? Ah! Ah! Ah! You're on a hooker blacklist site. That's what you're saying. Do you know what the site is that has you blacklisted? Do you know where they can find that information?

I've got no idea. I think it's a personal web page. I think it's a for hookers only or something. I don't know. I don't know. So step number one, you need your number. I'm not privy to the information, but I don't know. So step number one, you need a new number. I'm not privy to that information, but I don't know if she used that side. I don't know if she knows about me, but I'm not too sure she's sort of interested in me. Do you think I should just wait until

she calls me again or what do you think I should do? Well, your method of calling her rude and calling her fat seems to work. I mean, you get responses off that, don't you? Yeah, well, I said I hope you get AIDS. I've told someone I hope they get AIDS too. It's no big deal. I'm not gonna face that one, yeah. But I think she's got, well, it sounds the way she talks.

I think she's on meth because she talked very fast and I could hardly understand here. And I think she's on meth because she talked very fast and I could hardly understand here and I think she's also by the sounds of things I think she's got a personality disorder as well. Well she's a hooker, Chris. What do you want? You're not exactly going for women who've had it, still are upbringing. So have I confused you with anything I've just said or not really? Um, uh, no, not in the way you mean it. No, uh, you, I would suggest getting a new number.

So you can, I would suggest finding out where the hookers are getting this information too. So you could join this forum and see it. Maybe pose as a hooker, make a fake hooker profile, try to gain their trust and then talk to yourself up like you know I fucked this guy Chris McCarty. He was a good guy actually. I know that us hookers think have Bad info on him. He was a good guy. He actually gave me he's got a big old dog He gave me more What's it going to achieve that? Well get your name out there as someone that hookers can trust and have coffee with

Yeah, but if if I wanted exactly what I'm doing, they're not going to like it that way. They will. What are you doing? Well, are you trying to, um, are you trying to be, ask me to be a stealth person and try and meet up as poses of hooker and get their trust to meet up with them? Is that what you want me to do? Do you think that would work? Probably, but I don't know what the consequences of that are though. Well, if you show up and you win them over, then there's no consequences. It's balls in your court after that. But don't you think once they know who I am,

don't you think I'll just run away and scream or something? Well, I mean, maybe, but maybe they'll hear you out. Maybe they want that free coffee. Yeah, I think that's what I'm saying. I mean, I'm not sure if and scream or something. Well, I mean, maybe, but maybe they'll hear you out. Maybe they want that free coffee. Yeah, but he was a free coffee. I mean, the hookers, the hookers, they had to get real money not just to meet someone out for a coffee though.

Exactly. So why do you think they're gonna get coffee with you if you hit them up on this site like you wanna date? Have you tried offered paying them for coffee? But just wait a minute. Why would she just seem to be interested in my job? What sort of work are they? And I see no, I see it.

I see that I was in the government payment. It just seemed I seemed to least interest the me. Well, why don't you lie? Yeah, probably. Yeah, tell me you most radio show. It's called the Dix show. Okay. Yeah. Basically, that's a, because you're not really

live. You're not money all over it. Yeah, that's right. You're not really lying when you say that. I know. I'm not. Yeah. Not a man.

I'm sure. Is sure. No, Sean is not here. Sean is with his family. Kevin is here and Larry is here. I think you're doing. Do you know Lacey? I do know Lacey.

Yeah, I can't get her to text me back either. So don't start talking to that tree. So what happened? She said, Lacey says she asked me for my address, like while my party, all my Christmas parties going on. So and then never and then ghost me. Oh, after that, I'm like, yeah, here's my address. So, and then, never, and then ghost me, after that, I'm like, yeah, here's my address. Hey, where are you?

Hey, where are you? What the fuck, what do you mean, where's my address? What happened between that text and now? Go ahead. Does Lacey like me? You? I don't know. Never, I don't think she's been on with you in a long time.

I don't know. All right, because this is really horrible website on Google. Google is this called dick-padial-something-update.com. And this got some really bad stuff about me. So I do not approach this, go off for any reason or something. Have you seen that one? I have not. No. There's a lot of things with dick on them on the internet that I have not seen.

Well, I can actually bring it up if you want to you want. Despite a minute, I just want to sit. Okay. So it's got here. It's called Dick Pedia, the Dick Show wiki. Please do not contact this individual for any reason. What's he, but Chris McCarty, commonly known as Chris the Kiwi is a 42 year old user on the and recent low-calve who was affiliated with the Dick Show. is a 40-tier-old user on the and recent low-cal, he was affiliated with the Dix-Shay. Yeah, I didn't make that. I don't know. Well, you did not want people to contact you

and fuck with you anymore, right? Oh, this was made. I just the case called Dicapedia, the Dix-Shay Wiki. That's what it's titled. How about that? That's cool. It's called HTTPSDicapedia.Fandom.com. Oh.

That's what I've seen. Well, I haven't seen it. I can promise you that Lacey hasn't seen it. If you're thinking that she read that and then doesn't want to contact you. Oh, no. I just thought, well, I did actually say, I did actually mention Lacey's name and she tried, and I said that Lacey tried to talk to me and try and tell me what I was doing is wrong.

But I have never spoken to Lacey though and I don't think she knows much about me. Does she? Well, I'll try to get her in, but as I said, I can't get her to answer my text either. Why do you think she's ghosting you? Probably because I sound like a serial killer. And there's this other girl that's giving me picking on me too. Her name's Aaron Nile. She's giving me to me too. Like Hannah was being mean to you? Well, I don't think Hannah was intentionally being mean to me, but Erin Nil, you know, in I out, I think she definitely is and she's being pretty nasty to me. And I think she lives

in, according to her profile, she lives in Tel Aviv, but she's been pretty mean to me too. Tel Aviv, I'm not familiar with that. Is that in Australia? What? Tel Aviv? No, it's in Israel, isn't it? Oh. Why does this person be mean to you? Are they part of the show? I've never heard of them before. I don't know.

Apparently she's connected as a fan, but otherwise she's been asking me for freaking the hang on them and I'll come ready out some of your messages, um, fact she's really bad. Um, is she sending you like pictures of her dick or slitting her wrists or anything like that? Or peeps, peeps of shit in the toilet? No, no, no, Erin, Erin's a female and I said, hello, Miss Nill and she, and she's, and she said, I said, hello, Miss Nill and she replies, no dollars, no talk. I said, I think I don't know what could have happened. Hey, that's typical.

This way, this way, the minute she said, and I said, why do you want money? Are you poor? You look wealthy with your pictures. That's what I said. Uh huh. And I need a wealthy sugar Jewish to take care of me. That's what I said to her.

What makes you think I have done? I'm sorry, sugar Jewish to take care of me. That's what I said to her. What makes you think I have? I'm sorry, sugar, what? I need a sugar, I need a wealthy sugar Jewish to take care of me. Why do you, why do you, where is that word from? Why do you have that word in your vocabulary? A Jewish is a female Jew, didn't you know that? Well, but do you call them that? A sugar Jewess? Is that... No, that just came off the top of my head. I know, that's why I'm asking,

how did that come off the top of your head? I don't know, the sort of it. And I said, what makes you think I have dollars? I thought you people did have money. And she says, I don't think that. I'm just telling you how this is by now. And I said, but I said, but don't you need dollars? How do you want me to transfer the money? She said, paypal money wise, Amazon gift cards. And I said, are you poor? And what the?

And I said, and she said, no. And I said, are you wealthy? And she says, depends comparing to people here, certainly above average. And I said, and I said, do you think it's fair to demand money off a guy who's, who is poor? And she says, and she says, I'm not demanding anything. You're, you're the one coming to me.

You're tricking, you're tricking this, look her into a conversation already. You're like the argument thing in Monty Python. I'm gonna have an argument. No your you're tricking this hooker into a conversation already You're like the argument thing and money pipeline I'm gonna have an argument. No, you're not Yeah, and I said yeah, I said you and she said you don't have to do it just leave Uh-huh, and that I know you didn't you guys And I said you don't like me her and she says not one bit you called me many names. It's it by now What did you call it? You left those out.

Oh, this was the age of gay, but I, I'm not, I'm sold there anyway. Okay, have you tried offering the hookers money to get coffee, like 50 bucks? Okay, well, I'm a bit worried that because the thing is I can never trust people because what might actually happen? Is if I if she doesn't like me and she wants to get me if she meets up with me she could get Heavies on to me and beat me up or something like that. Yeah, this is just coffee. What do you mean?

It's a private place. Where are they gonna beat you up in front of a coffee shop at Starbucks? Yeah, but so do you I don't think it's because of the arm on the government payment. It could be the effect that you just she can't persuades time might and wish it can be making money. I think it's why she's not talking to me. So if I say do it or give you 50 bucks to get out for a coffee. Yeah, I'm gonna do that. That's a good idea, right? Do that. Do that. Actually, if she wanted to call in as a show, I'll pay for that.

What's the point? Okay. Well, I don't know. She's not really familiar with your show or show, though. Well, that might make it better. I don't know. I just want to get to the bottom of this. I want to know what her deal is.

Why she wanted more money, if the government thing was a concern for her. I will pay for it if she wants to call in his show. I'll tell you that. What was the bad being concerned for it? What are you talking about? I just want to know what her motivations are. That's all.

I want to know if her intentions are noble with you. Yeah, yeah. I mean, she did actually say, we're not I called her a dick and I said, hey, because she's actually threatened to call the police or something like that, but she came down after I apologize. So I don't know what the state of the natural relationship is at the moment, you know? Well, it's okay. If it pans out, that's cool.

If it doesn't, I understand. I also wanted to have sex with Jenna Jamison. You told me, is that something? Oh, yeah. Yeah. You criticize here forison, you told me? Is that something on your... Oh, yeah. Yeah. You criticize, you criticize there for reviews, is that correct? I criticize Jenna Jamison for her views.

Yeah, she's an anti-vaxxer, isn't she? I don't know. If that's true, then I definitely criticized her for that. Yeah, I think you did, but why did you bring Jenna Jamison up on your Twitter anyway? I don't know that I did. When did I bring Jenna Jamison up? Oh, anyway? I don't know that I did. When did I bring Jenna Jamison up? Oh, if you scroll back, I think you did that. She mentioned here.

I think you said you don't like her. She says, I think she said something along the lines of, oh, I can't remember, but you definitely criticized if you're a Andy Vax. Well, but do you want to have sex with her? And do you think you guys would hit it off because you're both anti-vaxxers? Yeah, yeah. What do you suggest such a deal net department? How do you think I should try and chat her up?

Well, you got to stop getting kicked off at Twitter, let's start there. I mean, if I wanted to make an offer, she's on Facebook, I tried to contact on Facebook. Okay, here's the thing. Here's the thing, those brods, they get a lot of DMs at that size. So I think the only way to do it is make a YouTube video, confessing your feelings, maybe write a song and sing it and then hopefully it gets a lot of attention and then she sees

it and she's obligated to contact you in some way. And that's when you let the magic take over. That's when you seduce her with your charm. That's what you talk about anti-vaxx stuff. Make a song about anti-vaxxing or something that describes her beauty and also her brains. You pretend to respect the brain. Because I always get kicked off Twitter, but I think a lot of people get kicked off Twitter because it's pretty hard to stay on Twitter. I do. I do. Yeah, I get kicked off all the time. We're basically the same. So if you've got, if you Andy do,

is she definitely get kicked off Twitter for sure? That's what I've noticed. Well, I don't know. I'm not in a chat Jewish, yeah. All right. All right, Chris, I got to go. Thank you for calling me. I want an update on the GenoGender.

Oh, by the way. Yeah, I Wanted a big show switchered Excel. Are you a year agreeable to posting that a switchered Excel? You know what? Yeah, if I have any left. I don't know if I have any left Okay, so we sell out right away. Let me check All right, buddy Okay, bye. Okay, cheers. Bye. Bye. Cheers. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Bye. All right. Scene comments, audio.

Didn't have hookers for coffee. Perfect. All right. Do I have anybody else who wants to call maybe three more guys? Oh, John breaks bad news. Are you there? Black light, you do. Black light, what do you got? We're running out of time. What do you got? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, you hear me? Yeah, hey. Okay, good.

My rage the week is lottery addicts. I was trying to buy just some groceries today and I'll stuck behind this stupid jackass. Can I have a box tan with a five-pink and a five-motherfucker? It doesn't matter what your special lucky numbers are, you're going to fucking lose a lottery. Let me kick you in the ass so you can get the fuck out of the way, how to watch this

retard. Just waste like 10 minutes of my time buying $150 with a lottery ticket, when there's a perfectly functional fucking kiosk down there, but he needs to put in his special lottery numbers to always win. Yeah. Fuck off. Got on my way. Alcoholics don't go up and say, hard like a cosmos and an old fashion and

sex on the beach and slippery nipples just give me a bottle of booze immediately. Lottery addicts should just go to the garbage and dump their money in the trash. Very simple. True. Have some. I'm going to make my own lottery you pay me a dollar and I'm gonna kick in the ass and say oh, sorry You lost try again, but if you win you get a thousand dollars, but no one never wins you always lose I'm the winner in that lottery. All right, get out of here blacklight. Thank you very Christmas

Johnson Brown. Let's see Johnson Brown Johnson Brown what's's see Johnson Brown. Johnson Brown, what's up, man? Hey, what's up? How's it going to go? Good. Yeah, so Colony Siege is finally in close beta, and I'm giving keys to any of your listeners that want it. Oh, it releases. I'll be giving keys out to them as well. Great. So, yeah, you are in it. You type in everything as a contest

in the map. I DMD you a clip, if you're interested in that, gave me a little bit earlier. Let's do it. Let's do it in the full releases. I want to hear what makes you rage. What's been making me rage lately are mobile games and the tendency for women to become most test with them. Mm-hmm. Yeah, my wife's really gotten into you. Mm-hmm. Always hooked on those invisible pretend men on that phone. Not, I'm not talking about this one, but yeah, yeah. Your wife's what into it? Uh, yeah, she really got into one perfect world online,

and she'll spend just all the fucking time on it. What if you've even meet Tommy and find out she's hooked on it? She's too. I'm so into mobile games, bitch. Just play the mobile games all day. I gotta do a stand there with those titties. That's all I'm talking about. That's a mobile game I'm talking about.

That's the fucking micro. I'm talking about some macro, mass-dead transactions, not micro transactions. What are we gonna say? John Breaks-Bed News said he sent you the clip. He was running into play. Yeah, okay, I'll get him on right now. All right, thank you, Johnson Brown.

Sounds good. Good luck with the game. We'll promote it when it goes helpful. John Breaks bad news is you're fucking microphone fixed? Is it fixed? Is it fixed? It should be, yes. I still hear myself.

I still hear myself. What are you, what is your setup? Get headphones? There oh God, oh my god Well fine. Fuck it. Let's just play it. This is John breaking up with Now you're fucking I'm so what are you listening with are you on a computer? Turn the speaker'm on my phone. Turn the speaker off on your phone!

I'm on your phone! I'm on your phone! I'm on your phone! I'm on your phone! I'm on your phone! Put it on your ear! Put it on your ear! Okay, it's on my ear now.

No, it's not. Your sound like you're 10 feet away. It's still on the speaker. I fucking know it. I fucking know it. I don't know how to do that. I'm fucking dumb don't fucking lie to me john don't tell me it's on your

here we go there we go there we go there we go i did it it's on your ear now yeah i'll be brixon bad news for you know it's fucking not send me a picture of it with another phone send me a picture i'm alone in a bar right now there's literally not a single other person in this place right now I'm bartending and I must be the worst bartender on the face of the planet. Okay. We're gonna listen to your You breaking some bad news. Do you want to introduce this bad news? That's breaking bad news that I'm gonna play for everybody? Yeah

Mint salad. She's a dick show artist, right? Yep. Am I getting that correctly? You are correct, sir. Yeah, she had a long distance relationship with her, some guy who also was trying to marry her and she didn't wanna do that anymore. So I told him that.

Oh God, and so you're breaking a marriage off over the phone Yeah, man salad. Okay, let's swatch this and then talk about it a little bit Okay, here we go Yeah Yeah, who is this? Jake. Jake. Yeah. Hold on. Hold on, I got so many.

It's so much bad news. Jake, I'm John from John Breaks, Ben News. Somebody wanted to deliver some bad news to you. Oh, God. Okay. Uh, give me a fake name. Do you shit yourself in public a lot? No, that's not yet.

I did. Give you a fake name so it's hard for you to find it as I am. I Give you a fake name, so it's hard for you to find it as I was Jake this is why you should always pick up your phone as soon as people call you you should get there back in need yeah That's No But then you just fuck with them and what's their time? Now I got to find your call. I got to find who wanted me to call you.

It's going to take time out of my show. What's your name? Jake. Jake Thomas. Jake Thomas. Big Thomas. Wait, are you the guy from the Dixiel? Yeah. I'm not on the Dixiel.

Yeah, we're on show. We have our own show, but I was on the Dixiel. Well, fiancee has been talking about a lot recently. I don't know. Oh, is he, is he? Is he, is he? Is he, Is he? Say, mincelle. Yes. Oh, I didn't realize your name.

I thought your name was Joshua. Well, people are asking my name. I do have a fake name. Oh, that's why he merges is ending. I'm hopeful for us. All right. I'm very proud of what we do about security. It's understandable.

So she wanted me to tell you that she doesn't want to get married. Oh God. Okay. She wants to talk to you about that. What's that? Yeah, she does want to... She wants to call off the engagement. She thinks getting married is a cuck's.

Merry Christmas, everyone. Okay. She's a, you know, for everybody that's listening, she's a Dicco artist. So go check out her work uh and he really appreciates the fact that you spent the last two years joining about uh topics that she didn't care about and basically allowing her to become an e-girl on her own discord server.

What? I should cut it, even where credit is to, right? What does that mean? It's just a thing that people say that doesn't mean anything. I don't know if I can even realize how about it. What? Where am I supposed to be giving you credit? Well, for letting your fiance accept money for pictures of yourself, from a man that's weird. What makes you happy, right? No, no, no, wrong. I smell a seawort in the air. Are you cock? Sorry, look at this. It's like I, how, how, how you not have the internet?, it's been a lot of time. I know what that is. My dad's a boomer. He knows what that is.

I mean, so this morning, I don't know what reference to this. Yeah. Yeah. Do you, do you enjoy, like, do you get off on the fact that like your girlfriend or fiance, a former fiance, former girlfriend, ex girlfriend? I don't say it will form a Fion Day former girlfriend, ex girlfriend. Um, like, flirts and sends erotic pictures to other men. Like, is that something that you enjoy? I'm not judging. I am a god, but I'm a little bit there. No? Well, I mean, like, she's doing it.

I would be upset, but I mean, well, I think it's for people, right? Yeah, but you can leave. You didn't. So did you have a magic snatch? Well, the last time that they saw each other in real life was in March. So it's an internet relationship. A lot of it. Buddy, but are you gonna get out of the house more?

Yeah, you're probably right. This guy is taking this pretty good. Your fiance just told, said that she does want. Nothing to do with it. You know what I'm saying? He hasn't seen this mark. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. Just to all said that she does why He hasn't seen Well, I'm sorry So what are you gonna do now? Fix your own relationship.

You're gonna go to this table. I have to think about it for a while. Yeah. I mean, like, you don't have, let me make this clear. You don't have a choice in the matter of what happens as far as the relationship goes. She's ending it and that's it.

What are you gonna do for yourself now? Well, you're gonna have to say anything about it. You know, there's, there's no information. There's no information. You're taking it. You should buy socks in Bitcoin. I hear that. All right.

All right. That's enough. That is very painful. Did I miss anything at the end, John? Oh, no, I tell him that he should go to Disney World. Good advice. All right, man. Does anything make you a ridge? Yeah, I was at a bar the other night. This guy followed me around for two hours, giving me his like spicy little fucking ins on how I should convert all my cash to gold Yeah, I was like well, I burn all my cash at bars, so I don't have that. Why are you talking? Where you giving away that valuable investments information at the bar buddy?

Yeah information at the bar, buddy. Yeah. Number one, I've seen that in from Marshall. And number two, I'm just trying to drink these five whiskies and then drive hard mode on my way home. Yeah. Yeah. Good, good, good, good. Hard mode. Okay. John, Merry Christmas. See you.

Thank you. Christmas. Have a good one. Thank you for the piramine glasses. Oh, fuck you. All right. Well, Larry, what do you think? You got any last words you want to tell us what makes you rage at all? I'm, you know, I'm kind of peaceable. You're good. There's nothing really pissing me off at all. How about you, so the moment? Oh, I got a rage. What is it? Well, I received a package on Friday. Oh, yeah. Oh, great. My Dixiel pint glasses have arrived.

Quality. Puppet. Oh, they're not quality. Quality, pub glass, right? Right. Oh, let's see. Yeah, you can see it there. Yeah.

I know what it looks like. That's my face on a pint glass. Yeah, it's fantastic. Let's see the other one. It's fantastic. You can hand wash it. Yeah, I know. I know. Yeah, it's fantastic. Let's see the other one. It's fantastic. Hand wash it. You know, yeah, I know. I know.

Everybody's getting new ones. Where's Sean? You got two of me. Yeah. You got two of me. Yeah, where's Sean? Believe me, that is a problem I could easily and cheaply fix.

That is nothing compared to what the problems that I have right now. Thank you. I'm sorry. Sorry that you're here. I have a pile of shons. If you want one over here, I stepped over them. Yeah.

Thank you for coming in. Larry, thank you for coming in. Please plug your stuff. Oh yeah, listen, you know what? And over 250 episodes, and a milestone last week, my first guest ever, ever, John McAfee. Oh, he's fantastic. Yeah, we spent about an hour video call. Really?

Yeah, so I'm going to, I'm going to chop that into two episodes and they'll be out in the new year and then the video'll be on Patreon. He was fantastic. He was a total wild man. He revealed some stuff he's never told anyone before. That's going to be good. He, well, I asked him about that pooping question and he said, that's private. That's a yes.

I mean, that's right. I don't wanna talk about that is, oh yeah, okay, yes. Let that Larry Show dot com, right? That Larry Show dot com. Guess what, Eric Doreg just reminded me to give you your present. I will forget it again. Oh, yeah, where's my present?

I got you this shit from Hawaii. When did we go to Hawaii, like three or four years ago? Here you go. Can I open it now? it now please open it now? Alice in Hula Land I like that. She's yeah hot looking on the bag. Yeah, let's see. All right, here we go Take no shit give no fuck yeah, the socks that say take no shit I'm carrying those fucking socks that say techno shit. For your techno shit, don't joke with three fucking years.

All right, everybody. All right, guys, thank you. Are they your size? Absolutely, I get bun, bun, both feet, and these will be just fine, about a 12. Oh, wonderful, of course. Larry, whatever happened to the poop chip, don't, you've had one, one dropping already this time.

Don't quit while you're ahead. All right, everybody, there's been the dickixho. Thank you. Thank you for this incredible year and this incredible journey into podcasting and supporting me for three years and then the years before that. Thank you for listening. Thank you. Thank you for everybody who called in and here's to here's to many more. Go to dick.show patreon.com. Dix show and thank you for to Sean who couldn't be here obviously I'll see you guys in in Tokyo See you next Tuesday patreon.com slash the dick show dick.show

There you go. This is This is my bedroom by Kendall it. See you next Tuesday. Looking for a co-ho? Someone who knows I don't like To run ads on my website Gotta be a lady, a real lady And hold my hand in public Like you mean it? Just know if you piss me off Do it, I'll have to run and tell your boss

I'm horny, let's do it. Right in my bedroom, my nightstands, Waiting for your sub-honnet. I'm horny, let's do it. Right in my bedroom, my casper is waiting. We should up on it, sitting here stopping. Like in all your dumb tweets, I have so much. Just hoping I'll have a chance to get in those yoga pants. Can I have the body?

The body? The body? From your next abortion Some things They say you're going away They're allowed to have bad days I have so much cool shit Right in my bedroom My sharks are hanging

What a great product I have so much cool shit Cool shit right in my bedroom My fans are still waiting No wait it's broken. Yeah, you're gonna be famous, Haley. Whoa! Is our podcast doing well? No. Bitch, don't be delusional.

Oh! But I still wanna hump you, baby! No! But I taught you podcasting! No! Sex is something I feel I'm old! E-mailing three thoughts. My was taught like a matchstick.

When we meet in person, Nacey stars. That's a hatchback! The galaxy weighs on my mind. These eos just can't hack it. Tomorrow I'll be solo-stred my slime-out on this match mean is makin' Winnie's fever routinely from my pine hole. Still I drive ladies crazy, maybe it's because I'm their idol. Hands be cast as lightening.

Female sweets are fingering the sexy devil's flesh. I'm a little bit more of a star, but I'm a little bit more of a star. I'm a little bit more of a star, but I'm a little bit more of a star. I'm a little bit more of a star, but I'm a little bit more of a star. I'm a little bit more of a it's cuz I'm their idol hands be fast as lightning Female sweets are fingering the sexy devil's play things all surprised to learn their king can sing I'm the greatest the greatest man in the world Come on My Destination wedding hailey baby. I'm just thinking out loud. How about Italy on my green tree?

Hey haily, let's do it. Right in my bedroom, I'm master dating. Since you don't want it, I'm reddit, they're hating. On my cool bedroom My roommates are mating Guess I'll just watch them Wow, he's quite fascinating Bitch, he's put so good I'm gonna tell my own wife about this shit Ooh, a lot of them I feel like I'm being watched Huh? Oh, he's on me Who the fuck I feel like I'm being watched. Huh?

He's on me. Who the fuck is this goblin looking like a fucker over him in the coma? I'm a writer. You gonna get your ass outta here right now? I do actually live here. Get a pack of new books. Certainly Mr. Bigger. What is that?

I don't need your wife. I know I'm gonna stay fat, diggin' it. Ha! Damn, that cook is insane Hey, hey y'all tomorrow that showed us bitch that we was kangs and shit That's big bad diggin it On the end there Talking about new ports

Very good Okay, that looks like all these voicemails I brought in and playing in them. Wow. God damn it. I can't top that and end it on that. Alright guys, see ya. Now we get to find out if any of that was recorded. God, that was brutal.

But it was calling a guy to break up your... That's easy as shit. Remember, Kinnison used to do that. But it was calling a guy to break up your as easy as shit. Remember, Kinnison used to do that. You would break up with people for other people. Yeah. Live on stage, bring a phone out. Good stuff. Oh, that's funny.

Wow, Chris, the key, we really brought some fire in today, didn't he? I wrote this down. Let me talk about it. All right. Pean Wiener's event. He told me to talk about it. All right. Pean Wiener's event. He's telling me to knock at event. All right. I think Wong wanted me to try and attempt the rage. I had one, but Well, do you want to try it? All right, Larry, will you let Rich sit there? So of course, the mic that's working. Don't blame it on Eric though. You're gonna do this. You got you. It's you.

It's just a quick rage. It's not this, you got you, it's you. It's just a quick rage, it's not even a good one, but it's pretty good. Well then get out of here. Go, go, go, go, it's good over. What makes you a rage, Rich? It's been a while since I've seen someone post about this, but anytime anyone talks about how minimalist their lifestyle is.

Oh yeah. Like I'm so minimalist and I want other people, I want you to see what you don't need in your life. And like, first of all, bitch, I don't need your fucking opinion. That's one of one of our minimalist, I don't need you. And then second of all, you're on social media. That's so not minimalist. And third, you're a divorcee,

you're twice divorced with two kids on a third engagement. What kind of minimalist shit is that? So that's just my rage is that I can't stand when people try to talk about how much you don't, yeah, no shit, there are a lot of things we don't need in this life. Not me, I need everything. Yeah, you need everything I have is because I need it.

More importantly, I think it's, I don't know if it's, I don't hate the idea, I think it's the preaching-ness. It's the preaching-ness of all this. Just think it's the preaching-ness. It's the preaching-ness of all this. Just like it's the preaching-ness of any lifestyle. Bitch, you would sell your kids for a like. Don't talk to me about minimalism. You have a vanity of us. You have a-

You have an obesity of the soul. You fucking bitch. Don't ever talk to me about minimalism. You're nothing without this validation And about what 50 50 Instagram posts a day or something like that like what kind of minimalism is this? I don't know. That's just my rage is this you're fucking broke One more minute one more post about minimalism. You'll be in the ebt line Scraping trash for fries that I discarded

Yeah, all right you got it Scraping trash for fries that I discarded. Yeah, all right, you got it. What? I remember the rage. Okay, get back in there now. I'm doing a little batting practice here. Pissing by candlelight. Okay. Have you noticed this?

I've been doing a lot of Christmas parties, circulation. Okay. Every time I go in a crapper at somebody's house at a party, it's decked out like a good war. There's candles. There's popery, right? And I went to pissing on my shoe. Turn the lights on, get rid of the popery. It's a, it's a crapper. It's not a place to have sex. Yeah. I literally, have I ever told this story? I pissed in a, I pissed all over my sister's bathroom on her 21st birthday.

Oh, no. I filled up her popery. With piss. With piss. I knew you'd do that. If anybody would, you would. I, I'd say too long of a story. Those are 23, like that.

It's great, but I think. All right, everybody see ya. Alright everybody see ya.