The Dick Show - Episode 188 - Dick on Wh*re Island

Episode Date: January 7, 2020

The Japanese red light district, selling the Middle East boat, women and their super powers, Chris the Kiwi bangs an escort, women in World War 3, dealing with a concern troll, destroying cultural landmarks, politicians as military targets, bias for bias against women in STEM, the cyst burger, alumnx, moving to America, cold toilet seats, The Golden Globe Awards, and Mint Salad steals a car; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I can't remember the fucking terminology. There's a lot of reasons why your stuff sucks. You, there's a common denominator. Yeah! Welcome to dead, you want to dig, you need to, you love to do, you got it, that's a show. Where is the contest? Come in the live from Mountain Bunker, deep in the heart of the city of LA, the city of failure, I'm your host, Dick Masterson, aka the $20 million man voted America's worst Mexican 38 weeks running, joining me, joining me finally, finally for the first time this year is

world touring LA based comedian on the audio engineer, is that fish juice on your chin, or are you just happy to see me? I was wondering what you were gonna, what, you're takeaway from that episode, was that? That was the first thing I, first and last thing I remember. No, actually it was a good episode.

Oh, thank you. Peach was good. Yes, she was good. And now all those redditors can shiit up about Peach leaving the show for good. You fucking in cells. Was it fucking in cell redditors? Was it just a bunch of...

Yeah. Yeah. I knew there was never anything with Peach. No, she's just very busy. Everyone's very fucking busy. Yeah, that's the worst thing about... People said that about Larry too. People I know who listen to the show were asking me,

it's like, was there like any kind of falling out with Larry? And I was like, no, he's just do easy. He lives way over. He does his thing. He comes to the parties. He does, you know what I though? They were great. It's hard to get people to come in on Sunday.

It doesn't miss something long. It's a long Sunday. Like, it's a long drive. Even to get lazy to come at Lacey, I was like, Lacey, come in today. We're recording in a different time. You know, I've Pilates today Yeah, she goes it's like an out. It's like a long drive to your house though Yeah, you can't really it's like 12 miles in like and like an hour and ten minutes People have their own shit. That is the worst thing about this

that this New media podcasting world that everybody lives in and Twitch and streamery and shit is that anybody who gets, anybody who's good does, goes off and does their own thing and then they're there forever. Yeah, that's where it's so hard to get anybody to meet up and do shit. So it was really cool to have Peach in Japan. Coincidentally, while we were there,

so we could do an episode out there. That's awesome. And she lived there for a while too, right? Remarkably, yeah, I didn't know that. She speaks fluent Japanese. Well, I would think she's going around, not to make me laugh, but I'll be, but I'll be, I'll be like, what the hell is this?

Boy, she's got a surprise. She's got a stick out in that country, man. I thought you were going to say stunning rack, which is true. Yeah, she does. Yeah, she does. I mean, she's so white in that hair. Everything about me always find her in a crowd, right? Yes. Speaking of Japan, welcome back to America. Ice-cold

toilet seat at 130 in the afternoon. Yeah. Not a pleasant welcome back. No, not the lifestyle to which you have become accustomed. I have become accustomed to many rules in Japan and ask comforts in Japan. Rool, you're a rule follower in Japan. I love rules. Yeah, they like rules, I think. Lures, excuse me, I love lures. Oh, boy.

Lures. No, we come back from Japan and it's the TSA crowd, shucking luggage onto a shuttle, loading people in like cattle. I love it. America is blasting music on your phone on the public transport. That's what it is. It's follow your heart. America is the country of following your hearts, which usually just means spreading

out on the sub, spreading out wherever you go. And convincing everyone else. And convincing everyone else. And convincing your lifestyle upon others. America's the land of innovators and following your dreams. Why do so many people's dreams involve being 500 pounds and playing hip hop on the subway? Yeah. Welcome back subway. Yeah. Welcome back home.

Yeah. You got to call this and a soundtrack to go with you wherever, and a random soundtrack to go with you wherever you go. Which never thanks exactly what you're doing. Never fits my mood. No. Never once have I heard someone playing Baker Street

on the subway. That would be awesome. It's an indecisurable cacophony. Yeah. Multiple DJs laying it somehow full volume through their fucking headphones. Oh, I know. And they're here every day. You're here every day.

Yeah. Craziness. An Uber driver who stops on the freeway to Rubberneck. That's welcome back to America. We're getting a ride home last night. This fucking Mexican Uber driver. Your people, my people. Yes.

There's a wreck on the freeway. Guy slows down for anybody listening the first time I've met a little over the top. I'm on the top. Yeah. I'm Jesus Christ. So I am a Hicando everyone. Yeah, yeah.

So just calm down. Calmate. Guys, slow down. There's a wreck on the freeway. Guy slows down to zero miles. Full stop. Really? Full bumper dip as that idiot Maddox would describe a, remember how he used to say the bumper

dips on a full stop? A good point. Fucko. Full bumper dips. Judge your, I'm sure cops have a rigorous scientific testing process for who they're pulling over. Right. Sorry, ma'am, but your bumper dipped down and as you know, conservation of momentum in

spring, we get six months of physics at the academy, the academy. Yeah. We do all kinds of physics. Shoot to kill. And then it's very important for police because if you're shooting, you want to aim fractionally higher than dead center mass because gravity has an effect on the bullet as it travels.

Yeah, very rarely do you fire at point blank range. Yes, right? It's always a moving target. So you want to aim several fractions of a single degree, several arc seconds of a degree above center mass. Right. And they're all disappointed to find out that you can't spin a bullet and, you know,

no, you can actually. Did I just bump that camera? Let's see, probably. Nope, you're fine. No good. I'm gonna encase that camera and cement. So nothing could ever happen to it again and you set it in a second.

Good idea, you filled the box around it. Safety box. Guy slows down to zero. I've rubber necking like I've never seen. Like it was his first time seeing an accident. Were other people stopping or no? Other people were stopping less retardedly than he was. I imagine you were in traffic, but he actually jammed.

Cototally jammed, guy. You're not the worst when you come in from a long ass flight. You don't know what God damn day it is. You just wanna go the fuck home. Open your suitcase, take out what you need, leave it on the floor, close, strewn everywhere, and go the fuck to bed, and you're sitting from fucking LAX

for like an hour and five minutes to get home. And you can see your house, but you can't get there. I just wanna have a nice jerk off in the shower. I just wanna have a couple of a saahi tall boys and take my new owner hole into the shower with me, Sean. I'm afraid to ask. I'm afraid to ask. You would know what that is.

Don't play dumb. Okay. That's the life in Japan. Yeah. That's what you do. You go to the 7-Eleven, you get yourself a couple tall boys and a pocket pussy, and you go home and knock one out and you go to bed and you wake up and you follow more rules

like in the Lego movie. That's what the whole country is. I don't know what was I talking about. It was, I don't know. I don't know. Say rubber necking, fish sperm, cold toilet seat. The whole country, here's something else about Japan. The whole country is pretending to wash their hands.

Really? Yes, because they have no dryers. Do go on. They have no dryers in the bathroom, and they have no paper towel dispensers. So then, bathrooms everywhere. Yeah, but not one single paper towel. You don't even have like wet hands

or wipe them on your clothes or just wait for them to air dry. Oh, but that's the expectation. I bet a lot of people really are faking washing hands. And every single person I saw activated the water and then did one of these and then left. And I'm thinking, why the, you didn't wash your hands? What is this?

You're shaking your hands? Like they didn't get them wet first. I don't know, I didn't go touch their hands, but there's no hair dryer. Some are built into the sink, but mostly there's none. So I'm convinced that's interesting. That's higher countries pretending to watch there, which means it's a high IQ move to pretend to watch your hands.

Yeah. You got other shit to do. Right. Keeping up a period of your mind that your hands are clean when they're actually not. Got it. The country runs on $10 bills. Really? Yeah, their ATM machines dispense 1000 yen's,

yeah, which are equivalent to 10 bucks, just divided by 100. Everything's divided by 100 there. Imagine if you will, a society built on a $10 bill, instead of a 20, instead of a 20, which is excessive, a $10 bill instead of a 20, instead of a 20, which is excessive, yeah, a $10 bill is efficient. Sure.

There you go, there was that one for you. I talked about the Mexican Uberger. There's no nightlife at all. How was that possible? That's what I fucking said. I wonder if there's like, I wonder if there's like, aren't there like certain places that businessmen go to?

We went, so here's the deal. Every bar there is like, you're in Tokyo. Yeah, and we were everywhere in the big, so every bar there is built in a storage container. Like, it's like stacked storage containers. When people say there's a six story bar, it's because the bar is the size of a closet.

Like, I'm not exaggerating. I'm not exaggerating. So just built up. Well, but then they build tons of them. So there's like 200 bars, but in each one, you can sit at the bar and lean against the opposite wall of the bar, which I did.

Like this is not an exaggeration when they say such story bar. It is six seats in a bar. It's stacked on top of each other. It's stacked on top of each other. stacked on top of each other. It's not like parties, like I'm thinking, oh man, it's like drinking in a connect for. It is.

Jesus. Very weird. You must have been a big dude in that country. Were you like a head taller than most people? I came home. Yes. Yeah. I mean, standing all the time.

I think my brother said the same thing. Something like that. And he's under six feet, but he's, you know. Manlit. Oh no. Your brother's a manlit. But they're shorter. Coming back, just letting my shoulders out.

Oh God. And being able to stand up straight, like I hit my fucking head so many times, I think I carved out a piece of my scalp. Jesus. Being back in my house, it's like being in a blimp hanger, like just looking around and feeling the space of it.

It's a little sense of- The average bar in Japan is smaller than this studio. No exaggeration. And they're stacked on top of each other. They're only big enough so they don't have to hire new employees, I guess. And there is, there's no women in them. Wow.

It's so fucking weird. I can easily see how you would just say, I'm just gonna beat off to anime girls all day and stop on pocket pussy. It's like, fuck this shit. Makes a whole lot of sense. It does, it really does. And like apparently the women aren't interested in relationships over there.

I mean, that's what we hear over here, I guess, though. Well, no women is, no woman is ever interested in relationship. They just want your money. But here's, here's what I will tell you, though. This is, and this was the, absolutely the wildest experience of my life. We went to a place, we went to, we found a whore island in Osaka, a whore island. It is a, it's a six block area. I guess Osaka is like the dirty part of Japan. Yeah, I didn't know this. It's not a different island.

I don't think there's islands, right? I mean, there's multiple. I don't know. There's, I'm not literally a whore island. It's just an island. No, no, no, but I mean, there's multiple, I don't know. I'm not literally a horror island. It's just an island. No, no, no, no, but I mean, where Osaka is, how far is it from Tokyo? Just for my knowledge. Two hours on the bullet train. Two hours on the bullet train.

The bullet train goes pretty fast, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah. It goes about a thousand miles an hour, I think. Yeah. It was a six block area where the whores hang out, prostitutes, and they all sit in a room, like a singular, you walk down the street, six block area. They're not stacked on top of each other?

No. This is the only part where they're not stacked on top of each, and it's room after room after room, all nearly identical. That's lit up like a television studio. Oh wow. And it's just the horror sitting in the middle of the room. Out of news desk.

Kinda. Wow. Like sitting on a, just sitting there nicely. That's hot. And it was the hot, it was the hottest fucking, and it was, it was the, I hadn't seen a hot chicken the whole fucking country. Really?

Until we went there, and we're like, I mean, Instagram, we're walking around with our fucking jaws on the floor, trying to turn them up. Putting those sick masks on to disguise it, walking around and it's room after room like a fucking zoo, like something out of a sci-fi collector spaceman who has a shuffle of horrors.

How does one make a transaction? Remember when we went to Amsterdam? Yeah. And how it was room after how they were displayed like Barbie dolls, like a cellophane stack of Barbie dolls or it was hooker, hooker, hooker, hooker, each in their own little vestibule. Well there you just go up and ask them.

Same way, this way you go up and ask the mom of son. Every room had full lighting. They would sit there in costumes, like they're wearing one of them, like an American flag bikini top and a cowboy hat. And then there's a mom of son parked out front, like she's running a garage sale, like she's running a flea market. With the police, it's a free market. We know how the economy works, Dick.

I'm gonna let that one sit for a minute. Sitting there with a various, in a various, on a spectrum of disgruntledness from happy to see you to I hate Westerners Who is there guys are gonna dig I hate Westerners like yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, they won't they won't talk to you They won't even oh and and if they won't talk to you when you walk by them they cover their eyes Oh, I saw my mom's time will cover their eyes. Oh, I see.

The mama's time will cover her eyes. And I thought it was like, she'll signal to me. I'm gonna do it by her eyes, but I hate Westerners. That would be great. Okay. Yeah. No, they really, you don't exist.

That was one of the wildest sight. That was one of the wildest things I've ever seen. Wow. And there's prostitution is illegal in Japan. So, so their restaurants, they claim that they're restaurants, but there's just right out in the, I mean, there's nothing to imply that absolutely nothing is going to be food in the cubicle.

No, there's nothing you want to put your mouth on. Um, why? There's a police station in the, literally in the center of Hoor Island. Yeah. There's a police station with, with guys directing, with cops directing traffic and just mobs of guys walking around.

Do the cops have guns? I don't know. I didn't see any. I was too distracted by the hoars. No, but the while the thing is saying. I understand. They're directing people where to the Hoor houses? To traffic.

Like stops to direct everywhere. Like to stop, like, you know, directing people in traffic. But I mean, always, they're there all the time. Yeah. The traffic signals, do they? Not in the whore island. Not in the whore island, no.

Okay. But that was, I would say that's the, that was the highlight of the trip, seeing that, never seen anything like that. You won't be very fucking hot. I can't imagine that happening anywhere else in the world. Because even in Amsterdam, half of those hookers were busted. Oh, yeah.

Remember, oh, man. Yes, I'm, oh, yeah, you were. This one was like, I love that term. This one, these hoars were top, most beautiful women I saw in Japan. Right. Horror Island. Check it out. I'll sell that. Yeah. That new horse smell.

Yes, they did. Speaking of horse, the Kiwi Chris banged an escort. Oh, did he? Yeah, see posted. He's back on Twitter now. He posted that he was taking a bottle of bottle of shabli to see a He ended up banging her and that people are very salty about his sexual exploits too. Why? I don't know, jealous, maybe? Like, oh yeah, well, what a surprise. He paid a woman for sex and then he fucked her.

That is kind of a surprise. You know, he's not functioning at a fifth grade level out there. Well, yeah, and probably the government probably wants to know what he's blowing his money on. That's a good, yeah. I mean the government probably wants to know what he's blowing his money on. That's a good, yeah. You know what? I mean, I'm all for that. He should blow the government's money on fucking horse.

What else is it for? What's he got in his life? Honestly, likely. So, exactly. You know what? Fucking good for you. Of all the things that the government has blown money on, horse is the one I have a least of a problem with. Probably mellows him out a little.

I don't know. You know, he's, he said the hoover got mad. No, no shit. I'm sure that happened because he came and he kept going and he didn't tell her. Oh, which I don't, I didn't know you could do. I've certainly never been compelled to continue having sex after I've come. Yeah.

But he was. Yeah. You know, he does things a little different. He's a little different. He's an American in that sense. Yeah. He likes to follow his heart. Right.

He listens to music on the subway. Yeah. But that's, he also opposed as, he all followed my advice. And he posed as an escort to get information from that blacklist site. Do you remember when I told him to do that? Yeah, I suggested that he do it. He might have, I don't think he executed it exactly as I had imagined.

I would guess not. Let me see. Let me read you what he said to them. You guess there may have been something lost in translation regarding the meaning of what he was supposed to do. Yeah, he said, here's the email he sent them. DeR Annie, I use S. Corts and babes and I'm new to it. And I hear someone by the name of Chris McCarty is blacklisted.

Is there any chance you could direct me to this information where he is blacklisted? Uh huh. I met him. And afterwards caused me nothing but grief by texting me all the time. So if you remember, I said, depose as a hooker and say that you were great. I have nothing but great things to say about him but he has instead. He has instead invented a false complaint about himself. I heard his name through someone else and they mentioned that you've been having trouble with him.

Maybe he has a long game here. Yeah, you know, like it's it. It's like, oh yeah, I have to. Can you tell me more about him? Thanks in advance, Diamond XX. So now he's catfishing Diamond XX as his... Boy, he's... his hooker name. He is very confused.

Yeah, he is. Okay, let's see, what else do I got here? We're fixing, we're fixing the boat again. What? The boat, you know, the boat in the Middle East. The boat in the Middle East. We've been fixing for a while. We're fixing that again.

World War Three, we're in the, the interesting World War Three. Bitches are going to war a while. We're fixing that again. Yeah. World worth three. Ramping on the interest of World War three. Bitches are going on. War, Sean. That's what's happening. Yeah. Yeah. Billy. I wish. What is her name? Billy. I wish she's getting sent to fucking Iran. Oh, boy. We're shaving that bitch's head and sending her to war. Like we did to Elvis. Oh, yeah. All you fucking cunts. You've been bitching about equality for so long. Congratulations. You get drafted. You go in a fucking war. Enjoy it. Enjoy it. Take a camera.

Make sure you get a lot of selfies into Ron bitches. You go in a fucking war. Yeah. Enjoy the camaraderie of war. Here's me with some sand. Here's me with a camel spider. Yeah.

Bring home an Irene, excuse me, a Persian husband. Bring yourself out and home a Persian husband. He loved you long time, cause you're going to fucking war. Jesus. I don't know, we're painting a, I like this strategy of War though. I like this one.

I think this one's gonna work. I've been, people will hate that, people will hate on it, but. Okay. I think it's gonna work. See, this time, when I replacing the engine, we didn't trade it for two new boats. So this is what we're doing with this, this time,

this is what Trump's doing. We're painting a racing stripe on the boat. Yeah. And then we're gonna sell it back to the person we bought it from. Right, that's the strategy. Tell them it's time. Tell them it's got a new engine.

The stripe makes it faster. We've improved the boat. Now you're gonna pay us back for this boat. I think it's a good plan. Well, I don't know. It's the best plan we've had so far. I don't know what's, I haven't read in depth on exactly what's going on.

I'll give you my summary, which is almost always wrong. Okay. We killed their general. Yeah, which is almost always wrong. Okay. So we killed their general. Yeah, which I think is fine. We've done it cheap. We've done it before. I mean, the thing was, was he, I'm trying to actually be educated here, but you can't because you, you can't, because you, you can't pay a dollar to get the full story.

No, was he? That's why I've pieced every single other from different headlines because I'm a very good, very good, very good, Reddit comments. Yeah, because that's what we need right now, like less information that are disposal. Yeah, so was he planning or had executed, you know, attacks or what was going on? I was in series of back and forth attacks over the Christmas and New Year, back and forth.

Said he was planning more, but I don't really care. Like I really, no matter who has ever sited on, as long as like political leaders in generals are getting assassinated, I don't care which side it happens on, I'm 100% for it. Like people are like, oh, well imagine, imagine if they just assassinated Pence and I think I wouldn't give I would say that's great.

Like go get who he was really boring anyway. What have they got shift? I hate Adam shift. I hate every single congressman. I absolutely despise. And if they took any of them out, I would be very, I would have, I would celebrate Iran or I would start pronouncing it correctly. I would say, thanks a lot. That guy was a dick and not funny. And now we don't have to suffer his banalities anymore.

At least you're all inclusive. Yeah. It's 2020. It's an all inclusion. Yeah, go, go nuts. Yeah. Go for it. We have the technology to take the war from the battlefield to just the guys Posing it just get them directly every single one of them Right I don't see a problem with it Oh, they cannot hear me for tests. No, I got I don't know what if they get it. What if they go after our CIA guys? Good, fuck them.

What if they get pop, hey, oh, or whatever. Yeah, great. I really, I really, really enjoy this. You know what, get them all. Keep going until there's none left. Sounds fucking awesome. We'll have a big parade for it. Start for scratch.

Top down warfare. I love it. Top to scratch. Top down warfare. I love it. Top down warfare. Top down. Yeah. Fifth generation warfare. I saw, there's another thing that made me rage about it. His Trump said he's going after cultural sites.

Did you see that? Yeah. Yeah. And I thought, oh, that's awesome. That's great too. Yeah. I'm sure. Oh. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Right? Oh, there's one thing that'll piss off. Yeah, the entire, right, the entire country. There's one thing that'll piss off morons. It's messing with their toys and figurines. Oh, you can't. It's like blowing, if I run, Iran is America, you're it's like destroying their Funko pop factory blowing up their stupid mosques or whatever. Well, they're kind

of partial to those sites. Oh, yeah. I mean, if if if Disneyland got blown up, I'm sure a bunch of similar retards would be very upset. Meanwhile, here's me. Yeah, go get Universal Studios too. It doesn't matter to me. Yeah, go for it. Yeah. So it's a bunch of fucking buildings. Yeah, I think the religion makes a difference though.

Nope, it doesn't. I think it does in a reaction. Oh, I love it. I absolutely love it. I'm just arguing with idiots who think that these dumb bills It doesn't a reaction. Oh, I love it. I absolutely love it. Just arguing with idiots who think that these dumb buildings are for some reason off limits or more heinous than murdering people,

just driving me fucking insane. God, it's totally beyond the pale that. Hasn't ISIS has been wrecking all the shit too? Like all these old, like historical, historical, yeah, like sacred, you know. Yeah, you know what else I've noticed. I've noticed, so we're in Japan. We're going every single site, or, you know, we walked.

It was, we walked probably. 80s girl has a step counter. We must have walked 15,000 to 20,000 steps every day. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Historical. Every step more painful than the last, except in Hoorah Island, where? You're a rejuvenated.

I was rejuvenated. Yeah. I'm telling you, the whole, going to Hoorah Island is something you got to do before you die. Okay. You could never, you would never see that. I do want to go to Japan.

Go there. Yeah. I would go again just for that. Wow. And what was I gonna say? Oh yeah, so every historical site, I'm gonna go to, it's like, oh, 1000, 1000 years old, 1500 years old.

In Japan, yeah. But then you read the fine print and it says, it was destroyed a couple of times. Yeah, well, it's like, it's the great wall of China. Where it's, the fucking thing's been rebuilt a few times, you know, it's, Yeah, it's, yeah. That was destroyed. There's rebuilt in 1961, like, oh, so what the fuck is, that I'm just looking at a giant

miniature then? It's just the, this is just a giant action figure that I'm looking at. It's a location on a plat map, you know? So that's my thesis on it is if it triggers morons which it does who don't understand that everything on the fucking earth has been wiped clean at least six times already do it. Instead of doing it to one guy, that's funny. Person survived just blow up the fucking building. They have a lot of that shit like where it's stuff has been rebuilt every single one of course How much how much stuff from a thousand years ago is still standing none of it?

I mean, you know does it looks like absolute shit the Coliseum I've ever been to the Coliseum in Italy No, no, I did yeah, I mean it's half gone about isn't it? It looks decrepit. It's falling apart I mean it is fucking old. It's very old. Yeah I think that's more than that. I think Madonna, I think that shit's cool, but what I don't want to see, I'd rather see it all degraded and everything and go, wow, man, like still some of it's still here,

as opposed to, oh, we rebuilt the whole thing to, it is just a fucking model. It doesn't, it looks like shit. If you don't rebuild it, it looks like crap. Yeah, but that's time. Ah, that's time. Every year that goes by, we look more and more like crap. You and you and I.

Yeah, I mean, just people in general, but especially you and I. Oh, I see if I had anything. Oh, oh yeah, okay, here's the, I looked up a little bit of the, the enemy that we're dealing with in Iran here. By the way, did you see they they wanted to put together an $80 million bounty to kill Trump? I looked into that a little bit. Let me see. Well, I guess I was really popular with the people, right? They're holding pictures of them and stuck in nose. Here's the Iax. I looked in the

actual point of that. We know the news is gonna show us the people that are. Whether the whole country, so it's like, you're gonna see like, oh, they've all holding is, and if you don't do that, you'll get murdered. Yeah. It's not really, it's not like here where people are going out and rallying for gay rights, because they just like are really into gay rights.

Like, there's a little bit of more of an incentive to go out and cheer on your fascistic dictatorship. Yeah, right. Like the people in North Korea who are crying from crying about about Kim Jong-un, like those tears might be a couple of emotions happening at the same time, not necessarily joy. Good point. Say, I'm crying out of pure joy. Like yeah, I don't know about that. On behalf of Iran's people, 80 million Iranians, if each puts aside US $1, it would be, it would equal 80 million dollars. And we would give this 80 million on our own behalf

as a gift to anyone who brings the head of the person who ordered the murder of the grand figure of ever, so they're crowdfunding this assassination, at a dollar a dollar like a march of dimes over there for as little as a dollar you could have you could have Trump assassinated. Hey cough it up six month old. We got to get 80 million. So fucking stupid. I don't know. I'm joking about it because there's no there's any chance there'd be a World War III retarded. I think it's good to put a stripe on the boat. Put a stripe on the boat.

Obviously you ban in the boats the best strategy, but put a stripe on it, maybe make some, maybe make some, it's the cheapest way to make it. I'm not planning this boat, but stripe on it. You guys, you used to love the boat, put a stripe on it. It's faster, it looks better. Yeah, here you go. It looks fast standing still. Little money, little bit of money.

Um, okay. Australia's fires, uh, yeah, those are, uh, yeah, boy. Walla charity, that's another thing that makes me, makes me a rage. I guess I'm just being a hater about that. I, well, I hate koalas.

Oh, you do? I do, yeah. Why? Because, sex addicts and they have chlamydia. Yeah, and they're just dumb. It's an animal that's trying to go extinct and has been for a long time.

Yeah. It always annoys me when people give money to animals and not human beings. I like a lot of Australia's animals. I like which ones? Kauakas. Do you like those guys? I didn't, those are over on the other side, right?

Those are the crazy, they have like no fear of people and they're real cute in photos. They are cute. Yeah. I guess that doesn't really, I don't really have much on that though. No, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do?

Have fun with your money. I spent like, oh dude, here we go. I spent probably a hundred dollars on video games for the Japan trip. I loaded up my switch. I was gonna really get dollars on video games for the Japan trip. I loaded up my switch. I was gonna really get into a video game trance on the plane. I had already decided in my mind

that I was gonna be a shitty travel companion and not do any conversation or anything. And I even warned 80s girl, like, look, you're gonna need headphones. Or stock up on books. I don't know what, or, learn how to crochet because I'm gonna be locked. And it is a gaming occupy Occupy your own time.

Oh yeah, gamer gate stimulator. So right here. Okay. We get on the plane and it turns out the electrical sockets, they fucking save, they saved all the electrical sockets for people that are paying economy plus or something. Some time. Everything's all a cart now on a fucking plane.

It's crazy. So they put electrical sockets in for half of the cheap seats and not the other half, but I don't remember anywhere where I could have paid an extra $10 to save myself from 20 hours of mind-splitting boredom when I could have also solved by stopping at home depot and bringing a 50 foot extension cord

onto the fucking plane with me. These people just are sitting on power and doing absolutely nothing with it. Meanwhile, I would have paid, I don't know how much money to just plug my goddamn switch in to get more than an hour and a half out of, so I could barely get through the fucking tutorial. That's so mad, man.

Of a game. I buy at six or seven games, all cute. I'm like, oh, I got all the time in the world to play this shit. By the time I get through the tutorial, battery low starts blinking. You gotta be fucking kidding me. Yeah, yeah. That's a oh god. That would be frustrating Terrible you start to think there's worse than the people getting the shit kicked out of them on planes

Yeah, you start to think there's gonna be power everywhere You know when you're waiting by your gate oftentimes there's there's an outlet under you see Well, there was I remembered you're everything there was at one time that one time they rolled them out And you're like oh fucking awesome now we got planes obviously we got power on these planes now They fucking rolled it back so they can charge you for it. Yeah, yeah, I would put it put it Exactly. Let me just swipe a credit card to activate the thing I mean you're gonna probably come because you can do it you can do their wireless their wireless via card on the plane or whatever, you know, download their fucking app before you take off and then pay for it in flight.

I would be fine with that. Yeah. But the not even, not accessible at all, I can see the goddamn power thing. Ten rows away. Yeah. I got no access laughing at me. Snickering.

With that stupid face, ah. Yeah. Stupid power face. That was really mean. Oh, that's gonna be frustrating. How long is the flight? it's stupid face. Yeah, stupid power face. That was really amazing. That's gonna be frustrating. How long is the flight actual time? Is it close to, is it like 18 hours?

Yeah, it's like 18 hours. Jesus Christ, it's a long time on a plane. Here's something from, here's the level of, here's the level of pop up, I don't know what to call this. I'll just read it to you. Iran's powerful clerics have accused associates of their former president of witchcraft, including summoning genies.

Oh boy. That's so, that's a little bit of a stereotype. No, that's this isn't it. I mean, for them, you mean that raises. So for everyone saying that threatening cultural sites is just not going to work, this is their own guys are using accusations of genie summoning against the president.

Man, our Trump should say threatening is gonna summon genies. Yeah, well, he may say I have genies on the payroll. They're already here. Yeah, I'm at an increasingly bitter rift between I'm a Dean a job and the country's supreme religious leader gotcha see well That's that's what I mean about religion over there. That's that actually probably carries some weight there. Yeah, you know, yeah, stupid We're stupid as well, but you know. Everybody's a different kind of stupid,

but you know, they don't kill you if you say that, it's dumb. Well, that's the big difference. Yeah, I know. If you go out there and you say, how are you guys fucking idiots? There's no genius. Yeah, you fucking dead. In recent days, some 25 confidence of the,

I'm a Dean of Judd and his controversial, but loyal chief of staff, whatever have been arrested and charged with being quote, magicians. Oh boy. One aid was described by conservative little kids everywhere are crying. There will be no more parties. How do you have, why are people, who cares? What are these idiots gonna do?

They're arresting each other for being genie. I know. Who gives a shit? It's so weird. Who gives a shit? I haven't heard about this at all. No. You're hearing it, everyone's hearing about it

like there's this some big threat. I just, it's just like, no, it's just expensive. It's expensive. That's what all these things are. Just, please make it cheap as cheap as possible or don't do it So it's free. That would be just great Gaffari is reportedly been accused of summoning a genie who caused his interrogator to have a heart attack. Oh, I see That's a mighty powerful genie. Well, they should actually it's not they should have that technology

Well, but we should probably they should probably leave that genie alone I mean, they should probably leave it's not, they should have that technology. Well, but we should probably, they should probably leave that genie alone. I mean, they should probably leave that guy alone, right? Well, yeah. I mean, you've, he's got a part of tech, one right after the other. That's what he's wishing for with his genie. That's not a good, yeah. Glad to have to see his wife's tits to know how powerful this genie is. Okay.

Then there's a bunch of other stuff about, so So genies, genies are on the table. Mm-hmm. Well, okay. Ricky Jervais versus Hollywood, I have that written down, but I have no interest in talking about an engaging in the marketing campaign that is that stupid roast of Hollywood.

What the golden globe? People are compel, yeah. Yeah. Oh, look what he's totally roasted them. Yeah, that was his job, idiots. Yeah. That's why he's been doing it since he, yeah, every single time he's ever,

he's never gonna have him back. They're never gonna have him back. Whoever, I saw some stupid thought, some political thought post, oh, whoever hired him is gonna be fired. You mean the director of marketing? You fucking sucker. Yeah.

Here's a pretty funny one. Let's see if I can pull this up. Buies against, bias against women in STEM. I thought this was, I thought this was rather interesting. Then we've talked about this before, haven't we? It's a different one. Uh-huh. I know that it's new. I only recently found it. Well, I mean a long time ago. Okay. Studies finding evidence of bias against women in STEM tend to have much smaller samples than those finding no bias, bias favoring women.

So a little chart picking. They're cited more often, yeah, let me read you the exact. It's kind of, it's all makes sense, already to me. So here's the table, citations to two papers, finding opposite patterns of gender bias. Okay, so you understand what I'm saying. You've got two different studies.

And one says there's gender bias. One says there's in fact reverse gender bias or no gender bias. The number of the sample size for the bias favoring men. This is STEM is misogynist, right? STEM people are misogynists. We're STEM is misogynist, right? STEM people are misogynists. We're amp in misogyny. Sample size is 127 people. And this is one example. Very small. Very small. Total citations, 2000. So 2000, that's just this one paper since 2015. That makes perfect sense because they'll get clicks and they'll get ad revenue because

of the how where we are right now. Convers what the hot topics are conversely bias favoring women total sample size 900 What much larger that means actually stem is heavily biased towards women Constantly catering to them right total citations 200 So yeah the one the study, the bigger study, gets us 10 times, yeah, 110th the citations. Yeah, they say, oh, well, you know, that's just two studies, right? That's probably cherry-picked itself. Oh, okay, okay.

So here's the meta analysis. Right, right, here we go. Medians, studies found with a bias-favoring men. Median sample size for all these papers. Studies found with a bias-favoring men, median sample size for all these papers. 182. Wow. So if you want to do a study that says STEM is sexist,

you can only do it up to 182 people. Wait, wait. That's a median or mean? Median. Okay, because that is different. Is it really? Yeah. I mean, I know it's different,

but isn't it kind of the same? I mean, it's not average, but isn't it kind of like, unless something is crazily what, you know what I mean? It's like, yeah, one, two, three. I'm not such statistics, but even after doing,

I think like, it's pretty much the same, right? It's not that different. I mean, okay. Yeah, I mean, I get it, but there is a difference. There is, okay. So, right, all right, okay, I'm sorry. So if you wanna say that there's a bias-favoring men in STEM, it's 182 people for your sample size.

That's the median. Bias found with no biases or bias favoring women, the mean is over 2000. So total is exactly the same. Meanwhile, citations per year, if you have a paper, both median, right? Yeah, if you have a paper that found a bias favoring men, keep in mind, sample size, 50 citations a year.

If you have one that finds bias-favoring women, nine apples per year. What a fucking joke. Yeah, I mean, that's really not reflective of the data, it seems like. Not at all. Yeah, and I understand why, but it is, it's like, wow, man, there's the statistics are,

fucking scumbags. Leave these it's like, wow man, there's the statistics are, that can scumbags. Leave these out, like these, yeah, come back selling emotional roller coasters to idiots. Oh yeah. You have nothing to do with this field. Oh yeah. Poisoning, totally poisoning the culture. Talk about destroying cultural landmarks.

I agree. Shooting on actual engineers who are making it happen in this manner is, was way worse than Trump blowing up buildings. Let's see what else I got here. The acne burger, this thing's absolutely disgusting. Have you seen this? They call it the acne burger.

They don't, but they should. I'll load it up for you so you can enjoy this disaster. Cheese in the bun. Yeah. I don't know why I brought it. Looks like jalapenos on the burger. Does that not look like a pimple in the top? Does that not look like a giant cyst pop-up?

Yeah, it's disgusting. That's disgusting. And why do you want your, what the fuck? Why do you want your cheese all out of the burger? I mean, even in this, that looks like a cyst pop thing. It's disgusting. But the bun is loaded with butter,ah, blah, blah, blah. She's talking melted and I just wanna get this on.

That one, that shot, looks like an infected vagina. So it's like that one right there. Oh Jesus. Maybe discharge. Um, contact, you're health professional. Like, okay, so the juicy Lucy has been around for decades. What's that? You put the cheese inside the, the, the, the's that? You put the cheese inside the patty.

The melted cheese is inside the patty. So they're just like, hey, let's do it the reverse. That'll get a bunch of hipster dipshits who aren't all vegetarian, the few that aren't, to stupid. That's fucking dumb. It's gross, sister burger. Okay, here's another one that I have.

Made me rage. Did you see the new Star Wars? I did. What did you? No. I mean, I get why people are hating on it. I don't have a really strong opinion. It seemed like there was a lot more hate. I expected the movie to be worse, but I definitely, I mean, I definitely get why they're, it was stupid. I also saw, I'm not a super fan of Star Wars though too. So I'm just like, I don't know, like, you know, parts were entertained, but I knew, you know,

I know enough canon to go like, well, that's dumb. I'm not gonna ruin it for anybody who hasn't seen it. I think Disney did that. That's a university department's ditch genderless term alumni for genderless term alumnix. That's what's happening here. College departments across the country are avoiding the term alumni.

But isn't the IX usually a woman? What? Like if you're an executor of a will, there's also something called an executrix, which is a female, I believe. Really? It's been that way for a long time. I don't know if it still is, but I know Dominic Tricks. Yeah, but I didn't know that was a real thing.

Opting instead to use alum, but there's no way this is a real word because it's just alum and X. There's no vowels. Oh, so it's, it's whatever, like your, your gender's blank. Yeah, a Google search of the term alumnix returns a long list of results from American colleges using the term, though most are specific to department

and specialisery. The term alumni is a Latin word that derives from the root word alumnus, meaning pupil. Alumni is the gender-ne derives from the root word, alumnus, meaning pupil. Alumni is the gender-neutral pronoun of the word. Some websites are using alumnix. Why? Why did it have to change them? Because they got the Latinx through.

Remember that dumb term? No. Oh yeah, they changed Latino and Latina into a bunch of idiots. Turned it into Latin X with also no vowels, a word that's completely unpronounceable in Spanish in Mexican. Why the way? But Spanish is masculine and feminine.

It doesn't. Well, that's why it's offensive. So the whole language, we've got to overhaul the whole language. Just the one word. Right. So they took Latino and turned it into Latinx. What the fuck? I have a, sorry.

This is what we're dealing with. Yeah, this is how we're dealing with it. This is a very, very important. This is cruel. So then they got that through and then they turned alumni into alumnix. I don't understand why it was, it was neutral to begin with it. Well, because you have a job, that's why.

It was neutral to begin with and these people had nothing better to do. Everything gets an ex now to show that you're a woman. So if you're an engine, if you're in, or to show that you're gender neutral, yes. Yes. If you're now, you're no longer an engineer. You're an engineer or a fire, a fire, fire irks. Whatever it is that you have to do, they're going to slap an X on it.

All right. And that's your job from now. I just want to let you know. Okay. I like to be ready for it. I'll be ready for it. Yeah. Somebody refers to you as I already know about this.

An engineer. Yeah, I'm hip. Don't get freaked out. That's just the gender neutral pronoun for pretty much anything. Even like a computer, if you hear somebody refer to as a computer, what if I want to engage an equalizer on the console? Equalizer, that should be a good knob, shouldn't it? Yeah.

Equalizer. be a good mob shouldn't it? Yeah. It equalizes, but I am discriminating against certain frequencies when I do that. That's true. Yeah. Maybe I better get out of the business. Yeah, get out in front of this. I can see the writing of the wall. Let's see here. Journalists are to the left of Bernad.

That's too much political shit. Let's see. Yeah. I'm going to read some comments now. Okay. Guys on Reddit posted read some comments now. Okay. Guys on Reddit posted about super women they've met. Are you interested in hearing about that? Super women. Women with super powers. Oh, those are always great. Those are always great. Yeah. Yesterday it worked. I've known a couple men with super powers. Oh, yeah. Yeah. yeah. Yeah, really embarrassing.

The guy who used to work with a buddy of mine, he was very, he was a weirdo. What was his superpower? Oh, that electronics would fuck up when he was around. That's a big one. Yeah, it is. Yeah, I don't know. That's a big one. Yeah, it is. Yeah, I don't know. Like it just, you know, that's a big one. Yeah, he was, those people need to be taken to a casino shot.

Yeah, he was really strange. Here's one. Yesterday at work, I showed a woman where our supply closet is. This is Anivor. She stepped into the small dark room and said, where's the light switch? I told her that a motion sensor will turn it on, just take another step in.

She told me that sensors don't usually detect her. Okay. Oddly enough, the light turned on once she took another step in. I'm not sure she was able to suppress this power of hers. Well, kind of power. She said they usually don't recognize her form. Your, your, your, your, your derp piss is showing.

Once I met a woman with incredible powers over thermodynamics, her body stored two to three times as many calories as she consumed. Wow, that's amazing. And she burned practically nothing during her intense workouts. Yeah, let's see here. My aunt sets off every metal detector she walks through except all the one she doesn't one time in Vegas

This legend overheard her explaining this to a board and annoyed TSA agent You know what else about Japan remarkably their TSA works very efficiently. Yeah Some somehow I don't know why maybe their equipment is better over there But the TSA is pleasant. It's still violation of your civil liberties, but it moves quickly, efficiently. They don't- You were getting on?

Were there, was there an American TSA? No. To go interview you, like literally at your gate? No. Oh, okay. They were all Japanese. That was in Australia. I don't know if that has anything to do with it, but they're not shouting at each other. No, I mean like RTSA. Oh, okay. They were all Japanese. That was in Australia. I don't know if that has anything to do with it, but they're not shouting at each other.

No, I mean like RTSA. Oh, no, they did that in Abu Dhabi. Yeah, they did that in Australia too. Australia is, I told you about that too, it's high dumbest questions ever. Like what? Did you pack your bags like that? Just, yeah, literally, they hold up the license next to you while they're doing it. Yeah. What's your name? Yeah. Okay, that. Just, yeah, literally, they hold up the license next to you while they're doing it.

What's your name? Yeah. Okay, that has your bag been with you the whole time or did anybody, but yeah, no. I had to give 80s girl a crash course on lying. This is, and we had to line up, you know, before we, before we could sit back down to wait for the, yeah, yeah. Let's see, overheard her, explains board and came up to her saying, I noticed your aura across the airport yeah, yeah. Let's see, over her to explain this board and came up to her saying, I noticed your aura

across the airport, he proceeded. What? to pick her up with some new age wankery, even saying he was an Indian chief. Wow, I guess the message is there's an advantage. Well, he could look at a politically insensitive, he has to, I'm an Indian chief. I mean, a Native American leader.

Yeah, send her black, shoot her. My mother is truly a woman of many powers. First and foremost, she attracts ghosts, wherever she goes. Wow, every home she has ever lived in has been haunted. What a drag. What a drag. Oh, the ghost, not the woman. The ghost drag to attract all those ghosts.

What a drag for her. Yeah. the go drag drag to attract all those goes what is what is what a better yeah having to yeah having to realize all those are having to fulfill all the unrealized potentials of those periods. Every home she's ever lived and has been haunted. And only she was smart enough to realize it. Nobody I don't think smart is the word empathic is probably the word. Nobody would ever listen to her though and would just just say things like, no, that pile of CDs fell over because it was four feet tall, or your youngest son's bedroom is filled

with blue light and smells like a sewer, not because of a ghost, but because his nightlight is blue and he peed the bed. Curiously, these ghosts would always follow her to a new home, as nobody to live in one without her would report any hauntings. Yeah, that's true. She also has the ability to see the future in her dreams and in fact has told me in confidence that she passed this ability down to me.

Wow, and I need to figure out. Wow, yeah. The Genie shit doesn't sound so stupid when you listen to Americans. Well, it's like that, you know, it's like what is stupid? Like all that shit in the Middle East and the religious, you know, zealot stuff and all that kind of stuff. And then we've got people over here who, you know, try to cure their own breast cancer with healing crystals and alternative medicines.

So who's fucking stupid? The genie's his stomach. Yeah. The genie's his stupider, I think. It gets hard to tell when you get down to a certain point. You know what I will tell you what really makes me rage about, maybe what really makes me rage about this trip is the number of people

that instructed me on how to reset my body clock and trick me into thinking in the new time. Like that was some kind of a fucking miracle cure or jet lag. You're around the world, you're gonna be fucked. Yeah, you're just gonna be fucked. What you gotta do is get on the new schedule as soon as possible. I know.

I mean, that's what I had. I don't drink alcohol. But first, yeah, no one would ever dare suggest that to me. But the first thing I do is reset my watch. My phone resets the clock automatically. What more am I supposed to do to get on this new schedule, Tony Robbins? What else can I do? Who's the four hour work week guy?

I don't know. I've heard of it, but what more can I do to acclimate myself to this new environment? Thank you so much for this free information. Okay, let me get some more comments here. Boomer Converser, hey, Dick, this is from Houseless. Ever since you brought in the stats about Boomer and Millennial wealth disparity, it's been knocking around in my head since I'm a millennial.

I've especially been considering that with regard to the question, what do you want to do as far as a career? And maybe just settling for having anything at this point is better than pouring over that question. My dad recently offered me a job back in my hometown where the pay isn't great, but it is something in his full time.

I did bring up this wealth disparity and how maybe I should just be glad to have a job rather than nothing, but the prospect of buying a house would probably be tabled for a long time. My dad countered with wealth from what I've read. Millennials don't even want to buy houses. Did you know that?

Yeah, and I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure. And I'm sure. And I'm sure. And I'm sure. And I'm sure. And I'm sure.

And I'm sure. And I'm sure. And I'm sure. And I'm sure. And I'm sure. And I'm sure. And I'm sure. And I'm sure. And I'm sure.

And I'm sure. And I'm sure. And I'm sure. And I'm sure. And I'm sure. And I'm sure. And I'm sure. And I'm sure. And I. Same reasons we don't have a family or asking me why when I'm gonna have a family. I have $230 in my savings account. Trust me, it's not from living large. Yeah. Anyway, another day, another step towards disillusionment. Well, it doesn't matter. You're going to

Iraq forever renting houseless rage score spoilers. Hi, Dick and Sean. I'll keep this meeting. What makes me a rage when you're watching an NFL game and they tell you the scores of other games that you're gonna watch later Have you ever recorded and watched a game later? Is that something people I know people I have done it I've done it with Dodger playoff games. Is that exciting to watch a recorded game that you know is not happening right now? And you can resist. Yeah, it's likeging, like you're just edging yourself. I know, I feel a couple of ways about it, but it's, I've never understood it. I've gone on my phone and, you know, accidentally see it.

Yeah, I fucked myself, I mean. Yeah, you know. And if you manage to dodge one score spoiler, don't worry, they'll find a way to get you those scores. The score either pops up on the bottom of the screen or they show you the standings up to date win losses or they have a game break to actually show you the scoring play. Fuckers. Cheers and go fuck yourself. Yeah, I'm sorry. I can't. I can't understand edging yourself to sports for that long. But there you go. Lady Toriel, dick, you fucking idiot. I just listened

to bonus episode 42, and listen to your guys' conversation about pigeon languages. At least you had the most accurate description of a pigeon. It is a language created due to a cultural mix of people who do not share a common native language. Okay, yeah. Yeah, it's better than what I said.

What did you say? I said it's some fucked up language with, you know. It wasn't like a mishmash. In order to communicate with each other, they simplify grammar and rely mostly on vocabulary from both languages, specifically from the super state language, which is the most prestigious language of the area. This is why pigeon languages sound mostly like English.

They all sound like Miss Cleo. Yeah, yeah, I love that site. Pigeon BBC. Oh, it's the most fun news of a riddle. Yeah, yeah, I love that site. Pigeon BBC. Oh, it's the most fun news of it already. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They developed during a period of trade and minimal education. Oh, no, shit. Don't make sense. No one taught these people English, which is why they learned a version of it that was

affected by native minority languages. A Creehole in contrast. When the first generation of pigeon speakers learned it from a native language, when chilled, this is too much information. My head's gonna explode. Love the show. This is from a, a lady Toreo, a linguist. Well, thank you very much. Chris, the other key, we herpes is great. He says, you know, that guy wrote in and intending to give herpes to everyone. Yeah. I got it from an 11 out of 10 stripper. Ooh. Great. They're her dating sites for it with loads of chicks.

Oh, it sounds like a benefit then. Well, it's, but chicks who fuck a lot. Women are more likely to get it, he says. I think some women, maybe not women in general. Okay. Yeah. There's more women who have herpes than men. That's interesting. I don't know. So the women outnumber the men on these sites, really.

The women outnumber men on herpes sites. I know what you're thinking. You gotta get, we gotta get ourself some herpes. I gotta get some herpes. Or just fake it. Open up a world of dating. We just do dots, right? That's all over your mouth.

Kits some makeup kits. The more sex you have, the more likely you are to get it. Okay, therefore the unfuckable people aren't even in the dating pool. Huh. Just making a lot of sense. This is the kind of logic that goes into a time share. Yeah. I think so. We're making money by going. Yeah. Also, the chicks on that site obviously want to fuck someone with it, which excludes people without it from your competition. They're also willing to put up with far more factors, like distance, et cetera.

It's not bad at all. The thing that sucks though, is it's the new, you know, the new digital age. I'm sure. I mean, you want, we'll think about it before. Yeah. I mean, fuck, that must, that must have really sucked.

It's gotta be much better now. Because of online shit. No, because of online shit. You can find other people with it. Jesus Christ, like, how do you broach that subject before? Yeah. I mean, fuck, man. Well, I guess that's why so many people have herpes.

We just bring it on them. Yeah, the thing that sucks though is it does ruin the spontaneity of just meeting people. But due to the factors above, nothing to go to Greenland over. All right, I said I was wrong apparently. I guess having her piece is fucking great. Well, consider yourself the new Miles Davis buddy. Good for you.

I got one advice question, then I wanted to call Mint salad's parents if she's around. They're treating her very poorly. Let's see, oh, here's another comment. That present from Adam, that presentation Maddox gave in the bonus episode is the exact same one I went to in 2014 at the YouTube Studios in LA, including the Pantera joke and that chick that he said was very lovely

in the background. Well, so he was at that one or he gave a verbatim. Different one. Yeah, he gave that verbatim. Different one. Yeah. He gave that presentation more than once. The only difference is that he had no confidence now and Mike Gams wasn't at this one.

He had to, I had to double check the picture I took with him. The only reason I know this video isn't the presentation I went to is his shirt is different. But yeah, five years later, he's still giving the same talk. Wow. And he paid 40 or 45 bucks for it. is his shirt is different, but yeah, five years later, he's still giving the same talk. He paid 40 or 45 bucks for it. Wow. No refunds, buddy. Wow. Sorry about that. This is from Magd. Hey, Dick, recently turned 20. I'm currently working through a three-year degree in London. I want to move to America for the following reasons. Freedom, make more money.

This is, should I move to America? Freedom, make more money. And property is cheaper in the US. A tiny house would be a 6,500 pounds in Mary old England. My folks are against this idea. Wait, what? Excuse me, 650,000 pounds in Mary old England. No, I know. Well, tiny house. No, London is incredibly expensive. My folks are against this idea because they think I'll just lose my base and stop being a good Muslim. Oh, man, oh, man. Here's the real clincher though. I've already stopped being one. And I'm even considering hopping over to a different team. Oh, he's gay too. Should I go through with it? Wait, wait, wait. I think he means a different team. Oh, he's gay too. Should I go through with it? Wait, wait, wait.

I think he means a different religion. Oh, you might be right. Should I just go through with it and start the process as soon as I can? I know this might be a case of you already know the answer. You just want to hear it from someone else, but I'd really like to hear your thoughts on it. And I'm sure many other foreign dicks have thought about this

and would benefit from your thoughts on the topic. I mean, look, there's nothing more important than parents who tell you what to do. How could you leave that behind for a country where they can't even be on the same, they're not even awake at the same time as you. Yeah, this is where are you gonna go to hear about how good of a Muslim you need to be?

Or everything you're doing wrong with your life if you move to America. It's absolutely stay where you're at since you need that kind of support. I don't know, what do you think, Sean? Uh, I don't know, I have no opinion on the subject. No, I've been on that one. I mean, do what you want to do. Do what you want to do. Don't let's, you know, it's your life.

Come over if you want to come over. Okay, let me see if, don't cause any trouble. Don't cause this. Enough people causing trouble. Who did I say should call in? Let me see if Mintz is there. Well, Mintz Allen's parents are there. Hey, Mintz, are you there? Let me see if Mint is there. Well, Mint's all his parents are there.

Hey, Mint, are you there? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry. All right, let me see here. How you doing? I'm doing fine. Being an adult, you know? Oh, yeah, I was out with you doing, interesting. Yeah, yeah, my parents took what you're doing. Interesting.

Yeah, my parents took care of a lot of stuff. So it's more or less just, sorry, hold on. Are you high? No, I'm not high. All right, I'm having a new rule. No more hide ships falling in. All right, we'll finish up what you're doing. I'm good now. Just, uh, Riley had to fix my, the mixer.

So, yeah, so I'm good now. Okay, so I've been with my family for a while. They've controlled a lot of the finances and such, even though I know how to do everything. Yeah. Yeah. So. What do you mean? I mean, it's still a deal.

Okay, so the... You sent me these emails about them, emailing the police about you to confiscate your car. They're pretty funny. Really? Yeah, it is pretty funny. Let me see if I'm reading these in order. Oh my goodness. I got another resource.

Yeah. Please note that are... Okay, here's the most reason one. Also, it's in all caps. This is your parents. I'm yelling at Ben salad. Car title, card subject, car title and stolen car. Also, every dingle parent and pastor Jimmy John agrees with us. You're a selfish spoiled brat with no conscience. Nobody does this to their parents.

Yoay should be ashamed. So many parents are on full tilt. Yeah, many typos. Please note that our four to three to four years of crazy shit with someone else, as soon as he's sibling, has taught us not to take crap from kids. I mean, this is a parent screaming at you. You've lost. If you're the parent, not to take crap from kids. I mean, this is, this is a parent screaming it.

Yeah, you've lost. If you're the parent, you lost your cool like this, you fucking lost. Well, you, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that they don't take responsibility for much, do they? You must think we're being harsh, but here we go with the caps again, but you certainly have acted like a jerk to us and you deserve the response.

Oh, and then they've got a list of stuff that they're canceling on you, right? Last warning, I am turning off... I'm reading a bottom one. It's so funny. Last warning, I'm turning off health insurance and taking you off as a beneficiary tonight if you do not have the car here. Jesus Christ, threaten to take your health insurance away. I do want to hear the other side of this.

What kind of car is this? She could be just terrible. Yeah, how terrible. Are you terrible? I'm not terrible. No, I'm a good child. I need some proof. How old are you?

I'm 19. Oh my God. Yeah, I'm a good child. I need some proof. How old are you? I'm 19. Oh my God. Yeah, I'm 19 and I already have an associate's degree. So I'm good, I guess. They're proud of me. It's my women always bragging about their degrees and shit always. Hey, I never said I was smart.

That's true. Yeah, my family. So my brother, he was mentioned in the email. Yeah. He was actually, I would emphasize that he was the quote unquote, unquote fuck up to put it, put it lightly. Yeah.

So they're worried that I'm gonna turn out like him. Yeah, but what did you do? What did you do? Why are you getting your health insurance canceled? So I drove to Idaho about a month ago, and I was going to go back to back and spend Christmas with them. What's, yeah, you didn't,

what's the quick version of what you did? Then we'll get into the details. Okay, so I went, I went to Idaho, they spurred out, so I stopped talking to them, and then because I stopped talking to them, they were just sending me emails and messages, escalating the situation. All right, you're turning off your health insurance. I'm also freezing all monetary supports

tonight. Oh my God. Mom number three, mom is calling the police and campus security tomorrow. Okay. I'm going to accomplish all the all nine items by the end of the week. Not a threat reality. Oh, it's not a it's not a threat. It's reality. I love that. It's not a threat, reality. Oh, it's not a threat, it's reality. I love that, Tad. It's not a threat, it's a promise. Okay. Better start driving, mom can drive you back. You are all caps again, you are causing all of this. You can end it or escalate it.

Your choice, Dad. No, your choice, Dad! Dad! Your choice, Dad! You! Your choice, dad! You will have it at all in caps. I'm not supporting you in any way after today if the car is not home. What kind of car is this? What is this?

I love this car. Have you stolen a car? Is that what's going on? No, no. They let me drive it for college and whatnot. And the only reason why they want the car back now is because I have not been responding to them for like, well, at this point, it was like two days, but I mean, two weeks, but at the time when I last talked to them,

it was a couple of days and they were already demanding the car back. Sure. And are they pissed that you broke up with your fiance? Is that it? No, they don't know about him. Oh, okay. They never knew about him.

Oh, she is well-cooked. Well, he got a lot of it going on over there. Why did they spurg out when you went to visit him for what, the holidays or whatever? Because they wanted me to go to them immediately for some reason. My mom would like, oh, everybody goes to go to their parents for the holidays. Everybody leaves immediately after finals are over, everybody. Yeah. And it's like

as she she thought they would turn off the heat too. Uh huh. Yeah. Okay, no, they won't. I found the list, I found the list of the wine item. Because I can kill somebody. The nine item, yeah. Get ready for the next seven adjustments. Car taken away by police. Insurance dropped.

All medical bills sent to you. If you don't pay, we drop you from medical insurance. Drop from beneficiary to any inheritance. No, that one's so funny. I can't even laugh. Yeah, I'm laughing on the inside. No money for anything, including college, no support for anything. All bills will be sent to you. We're going to change the locks on the house, and you will not be welcomed here. We're going to press locks on the house and you will not be welcomed here.

We're gonna press charges on the stolen car. My mom changed the locks on her house. Really? On you? Oh my God. So you're, so you are familiar with this? Yeah. What should we say to them?

If we can get through to them? These parents. You just say that like there's, there's probably a back door, like sliding door that you can Jimmy open really easily. Should you should you need to get back in the house? We're gonna press charges on the stolen car and you're gonna have a record. We are not dicking around with your BS. What we already did got go off joint account to cut off your phone.

Three, changing all passwords. Is that for like Netflix and stuff? Yeah. I don't really got you there. Not paying for your future phone bills. It's a number five. Everyone thinks you are behaving right? Like an ass and lost your mind. No one supports everyone. Pastor Jimmy John's, whatever his name was. Oh, no one supports what you did and continue to do. You continue to make this worse and worse. At some point soon, you will hit a point of no return. Again, these are not threats.

This is reality, 100% caused by you. Dad! Oh my God, it goes on and on. I only got a sign that one. Carback Sunday or the next six items go into effect. This is not a threat, this is a fact. Okay, this is still pissed, dad. What I stated in these texts and emails were not threats.

Threats are fake without true intent to follow through on them. That's also what I think about Trump's shit. He threatens people all the time with shit that he doesn't do. How are you supposed to make, what is the point of threats if you are gonna do all of them? Does it make sense?

Threats always have the potential of not being done. I intend to follow through on the, I intend to follow, I already completed four out of 10. There's no threat involved, just facts. Ha ha ha. Are these, are these step parents meant? They're my adopted parents. There's your adopted.

Oh my God. Oh my God. I should explain. That makes a lot of, yeah. Sorry. I don't have the car. And I'm currently not in position of the car. It's just in Idaho.

I'm getting a new car, and they're still want me to drive a little bit out. Let them pick it up on the side of the road somewhere. Yeah. Oh, also, here's number 10. Also, I returned your Christmas presents and spent the money on myself, smiley face, Mary Christmas.

Oh, my God. What? Okay, an ass call. If you read the next paragraph with that, I think it's God, fuck, okay, an asshole. I'm pretty negative. If you read the next paragraph with that, I think it's... The odd part of this whole thing is that you cannot name one bad thing we ever did to you and you repay us with evil. Look, we cannot figure it out.

Wow. So you're adopted. Yes. So you were a possession to them from day one? Yes, yes, exactly. Right, I mean, wow, really? you're adopted. Yes. So you were a possession to them from day one. Yes, exactly. Right, I mean, Wow, really?

No, honestly, like, I mean, not everybody has the best of intentions when it's, do you ever get the, we were good enough to, you'll never, you'll never live it down. They're burden of adopting you.

And we put a roof over your head and you, is any of this familiar? Yes. Because I know, I know adopted people. You do? She put, yeah. Before the emails, he was texting me the last time I talked to him. We put our lives on hold for you.

And he said the exact same thing. Really? Yeah, he used, he pulled that your adopted card on me. I didn't ask you to. Yeah. He used, he pulled that your adopted card on me. I didn't want to ask you to. Yeah. All right, let's call him up. Do you wanna, do you wanna DM me or their number? Yeah, I did, already.

Oh, you did already, okay. Yeah. This is such a wonderfully bad idea. Yeah, I think so too. Okay, your dad on a business trip probably. I can probably use his name, right? Yes. Yeah, not just not his last name, obviously.

Yeah. It's definitely a bad idea. I don't even know what I wanna ask this guy. Well, if I know you, you'll come up with something. Yeah, what is the point of all this? What do you do? Is this what you want? Oh, jeez.

Uh, I just want them to stop bugging me. Like, I, I stopped talking to them for a few days. Don't tell them where I am exactly everywhere. And they freak out and spurg on me. You don't live with them. No. Yeah. At this, when this all started,

I was in the college dorms. They retracted the money. So I essentially just moved out the dorms anyways. So as they cut down the money, money turns over. All right. I'm going to call the summer. Here we go.

Bub-up-up. Can you hear that ringing mint? Yes, I can gonna call a summer. Here we go. Buh, buh, buh, can you hear that ringing mint? Yes, I can. Okay, great. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP You're calling it in four words. Nothing.

Well, that's disappointing. I don't know, probably just a big cocktail, if we don't actually get a whole other guy, right? Yeah. I, earlier when I was, I was a car, I was at a car a lot. She kept calling me and calling me over, she just kept calling me over messenger. Were you just calling my dad's number or my mom? Your dad.

Yeah, call my mom. I don't know about calling your mom. That's a little, yeah. His dad's sending all these emails. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. My mom's been messaging me too. He's basically whatever. Yeah. What's her tone like compared to your dad? She, okay. So her tone is very much. Uh, my dad's very angry. She's also very angry, but in a weird, passive aggressive way. I mean, I probably could have predicted that.

Yeah, she's definitely behind it all too. Because I was on the phone with her. I'm sure she is, but I'm not gonna yell at your mom. All right, I'm gonna wait. I'm gonna wait for a little bit. Listen to voice mail, and we'll call after that and see if he picks up. And otherwise, I think we're bummed.

Okay, man, thank you. Thank you for everything. Go back now. I think I gotta move her here. And then she moves back. All right, all right, this is the Dixiel. Dixiel, page around.com slash the Dixiel. Thank you for listening. We'll see you next Tuesday.

This is, we're gonna do voice mail, so we'll try and minstead again. Maybe we'll try again next week. If you guys can pick up. This is left handed Jesus. The Japanese Dixarican, that's what it is, by left handedhanded Jesus. Here you go.

Classic intro. Classic Dic-Show, and no those intervals, don't you? For its train, goes so fast This is tasteless and sea-bud-be So think of the right my ass Me dick, me rough dis-prey Nobody make fun of my face

Everybody competent as fuck HOT! Even woman, no computer water Shooting, shooting at my pooper. Now even comic-rickins are sucked. Where was the show? I don't think this guy's Japanese. Yeah, that sounds Japanese, though. Rising sun.

Promise to read. What? Me, dick, me rough, dispraise. Promise to read Me dig me rough dispraise nobody make fun of my face everybody competent as fuck Even woman no computer while they're shooting at my pooper now. We think I'm a little stock Fish come Secretory Think... How do you wanna think about that? You're off of your whole trip, man. Oh, told me to not go...

That fish come was bad. Huh. He's nowhere inside. Oh, I know, hats a buzzkill. What? Me decked me rough, dis-praised. Nobody make fun of my face. Everybody come, but didn't that fuck?

Hoi! Even woman, no computer, water are you thinking at my pooper? Now me think I'm eating King's O sack. Oh, very good. Well, thank you very much. Thank you, left handed Jesus. It's a whole trip wrapped up in like two and a half minutes. He didn't get horror island.

That's next week. Hey guys, here was my 600 kind of life. It's really sad. you didn't get horror island it that's next week you're watch my second time life release that all the stories are so you know they believe together for a while if you heard these people said stuff like uh... uh... you know it's a kid my parents used to talk to each other

and it was really hard for me and so i turned a food and got a really bad uh... my parents used to talk to each other. I did. Why am I so out of breath over here? What's going on? 600 pounds?

I love tacos so much. I need cheese. I just put cheese on everything. And I have a husband. And he's finally somebody who puts up with me, even though he's also 400 pounds. And he has so tired of feeding me that he just puts, well, he could be the child. Do you ever watch that show?

I've seen those kind of shows before. I love them. My 400, my 600 pound live, two fat for 15 intervention. Two fat for 15. Yeah. That's a real title. Oh, yeah. That was an MTV show. Oh, that's great. They're so funny and they do just they do all bleed together after a while. I can watch I can watch two

interventions in a row or two of those two fat for 15s. But then a third one just feels like gluttonous almost the families trying to do it all together and one of them cheats and the other ones try to hold them accountable and it's just all it oh, it's a same story every time. Like you play, it's like the molesting game I play on Twitch. Like who, who fucked this kid? Had has some kind of problem. Let me get had in here, see if he wants to. Had he there?

Is he muted? It's some kind of problem with what? Me. He says it's messed up. He's really concerned about what I'm doing with. Messing with people's lives. Oh, well He's really concerned about what I'm doing with messing with people's lives. Oh, well, I don't know what you're doing. You want to say that to my face, had? Hop on. He calls his gunner and he deceives me like an animal. And eventually my podcast

felt big. I couldn't poop anymore. And they had to hook me out the pumps and just literally pump a shit out of it. What that just happened? I don't... Well, maybe you're right. Maybe it is like telling people to feel better, but it's just third and fourth and you know. I just watched it the last second. I'm not a doctor. I'm not here to change you to blood.

No, it's great. All those shows are great. For a minute there, I didn't understand that you were playing the rest of that voicemail. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do. I just need to follow him to a show. Well, while you run your mouth,

what do you got a problem with what I'm doing? Pad? Yeah, man, what are you doing? Talking to men, trying to talk to men's dead. What's wrong with that? Why are you talking to men's dead? Because he's being a fucking asshole, had? Did you not get that part?

Do you know how people behave for no one calls them out they have like so why are you doing it live on air to humiliate him do you not understand the nature of calling people out I understand that he doesn't care about some random internet show he's a he's very religious he's talking about pastor john to try to humiliate Mint with their circle of friends. You don't think that fucking works? How stupid are you? I think that you're fucked up trying to get some

some chick who's probably clearly broken and trying to put her family life live on air. That's messed up. Clearly broken, she sounds like more of a man than you on this call, buddy. Why do you think she's clearly broken? Where the fuck do you get off calling someone? She was dating someone who was 31 years old before she was dating Riley.

Have you seen what she's living? She looks like she's living in a crack house in Riley's house, man. I don't know where people live. I don't know anything about her. Why are you putting your tongue to shit about her line, their clout posting, their fucking front again, everything. This is Joel just bait, man. What the fuck are you saying?

Put your sentences together. Why are you putting other people's apartments on blast? First of all, what do you care to anyone dates? 31, 40, you can do shit. I just had a 16, she was like fucking 16 when she started being a- Is this what you do? You have a problem with me, so you get on the show and air out other people's laundry.

What the fuck is that? No, where do you get off telling- What are you doing? Where do you get on the show and I don't know other people's laundry what the fuck is that no where do you get telling where do you get off telling other people secrets on the show you mother fucker where do you get off where do you get off with their permission you dumb fuck she wrote in wanting to call into the show no but you got on and talked about other people's private shit that is so fucked. Where do you get off doing that? Where do you get off doing that? Where do you get off airing people's shit like that? Where do you get off doing that? She did that. She sent

it to me to read and you're enabling it dick enabling it that was She wished you to do it so you just magically did No, I thought it would be funny and so did you Yeah, it's sad is what it is. Oh, I'm take your concern somewhere else buddy Is it so sad to you that people have to deal with totally irrational fucking parents as they mature into adults. And that we're just discussing in a comedic way. They were turning that fucking car, man. She's a girl who turned the car.

You think that's what this is about? A fucking car had. How will you do everything your fucking parents tell you to do? Does this threaten you because you're under their thumb all the time? Is that why you're angry that I let her get one back over on her parents on the show? No, man. I think this is fucked up, putting people's lives laundry in front of everyone. I think it's messed up. Why? Who's the one who's ratting out other people's living situations and who they're

fucking dating? Do you think you have such a problem with that? Whatever. Whatever. Okay. Thanks for your concern, buddy. Hey, vacation. Am I wrong? Wait, wait, am I wrong? Let me get the chat. Am I wrong? Is it fucked up? I don't know, man, I fucking, I cannot stand when parents act like that with their kids. Yeah. You're writing to take away their health insurance

when they're 19 or the fuck over the dumbest stuff. Like it's fucking car. It's obviously, it seems, I don't, I don't know what her history is. Like I don't know if this is a long time coming or if that, that shit is vindictive. Yeah. They're definitely, definitely seems draconian

for the, you know, for what she said is the perceived slight. Yeah. For not calling you back. Like I'm sure it's about the car. That's why the police have to be involved. Sure it goes way earlier than that, of course. It's threatening to call the police on me. Oh, fuck you. I don't just look, you know, just looking at their email or his email, it sounds so martyrlike.

Yeah. I took all your Christmas presents back and spent the money on myself. Probably we did this and that and this is how you repay us. Nobody treats their parents this way. Nobody, yeah, no 19 year old has ever been like a selfish, you know? Jesus fucking Christ. No parents have ever had to deal with a fucking selfish 19 year old who like has their own thoughts

and is like kind of getting out on their own and like has headstrong opinions and shit like that. I don't even know how she is, but I mean, you gotta, you're gonna have, life has gotta be tough for them. Cops have better things to do. Yeah, I mean, parent your fucking kids. Yeah. You can self-under control.

All right, here you go. Hey, vacation. Hey, Mep, I'm gonna show to you here. I got a quick little rage. Moria, Touchy showers. Man, my fucking shower, my home is so sensitive. It takes me like five minutes to get that hurt. Yeah.

Too much one way, a millimeter. And I'm either freezing or boiling. And it's crazy. Yeah. Fucking touchy showers are up. King in the dick. Oh, you guys take care. It's fucking light. I'm going to bed That's true. That's true Nothing like could it be as his water heater is set to high a temperature?

I don't know, but there's there's got to be innovations in the bathroom after coming back from Japan There was there was a knob where you could set the actual degrees of the shower hotels we were in it was a dream that's awesome they'd you like their gadgets yeah I didn't see two that were the same either in America there's same toilets everywhere I didn't see two toilets that were the exact the same over there I'll be down here we go I don't know if a dude can bank an orgasm, but I don't do can bank not have an orgasm. Because what's up? I like all my guys, like this girl, I've been friends with her for like, every, you know what I'm saying? She's hand flexion, huge,

and you don't say it anyways, I finally got out of the point where like we You know the fail I'm on my four twin mattresses stacked up in the corner cuz I'm living like a pump You know what I'm saying that's what I don't know what the heck this is I mean the real number we all know but probably like 30% more like 15% I was like, oh and like I was like, dad doesn't want to call this in club. You're totally right, totally right. You know, and then we like, sat there for a minute and like, you know. All right, fuck it, you know, I'll call her mom, fine. I just can't, I'm not gonna yell at, I'm not gonna yell at my mom, yeah, I can't. Well, here's what I will say. Every time, every time we do something like this

or he would be allowed to state his case. Yeah, sure. Like I know for a fact, you wouldn't just call him up and go what the fuck? Yeah. Okay, let me do, I'll call the mom. We get it from the other side. I'll call him on.

Yeah, I mean, the thing is dads will lose their mind for this, dads explode and go crazy. Mom just start sobbing. That's true. That's never funny. Yeah, no. Yeah. They just deflect everything with crying.

I can't, no, I'm not gonna, I think pretending to be the cops is illegal, guys. Yes. Be careful you're gonna upset Hat again. Oh no, I know, it has very temperamental. I don't know, my mom would scream and shout, making bitches crying, major career. Yeah, sure, why not very temperamental. I don't know, my mom would scream and shout, making bitches crying major career. Yeah, sure, why not?

All right. Mm-mm. I don't think this is harassment. Hey, man, to you back, are you there? Yes, I am, yes, I am. There you go. What do you think about what Had said, by the way? Uh, God, I actually was like instilled in the green room

when you said that. Oh yeah. But, according to other people, it was funny. He had a lot of negative things to say. Of course he does. Of course he does. Oh God. I feel like I should clear that up that I did not steal the car. I should say that right now because I I don't think that I made it clear enough.

They let me use it for years on end. It's officially let me use it for college, and the only reason why they're angry is because I did not follow their control, eventually. I mean, that actually sounds perfectly reasonable for some parents who think their kid is out of control. They'll get, yeah, they'll do that. Yeah, I don't have it.

I'm just, it's like, you don't have a boy. I do not have a history of burying out with quotes, like they'll see it. I've been very, I'm pretty obedient. Probably the worst thing I've done is stop the mail because I didn't want them to pay for a speed and to get one on 16. Oh, you're the hideous being sick. The worst I've done.

You stopped the mail to the house? Yes. That's pretty fucking funny, funny. Yeah, I got the first and last beating ticket. And also they still, I mean, 16. So. Yeah. OK.

Yeah, let's call your mom up. Does she know calling? I told her, oh, someone. Someone's blowing my phone. I'm calling me now. Oh, yeah. Oh call your mom up. Does she know we're calling? I told her, oh someone. Someone's blowing my phone. Why are you calling me now? Oh yeah, oh hold it up. My dad's calling me. Hold it up, yeah.

I don't think that's legal. Now if I say, if I say you're on the show, it's legal. It's a one, California's too calling. Oh God. Yeah, hold it up. Okay, I missed a call from him. When he see, should I put on speaker? Yeah, yeah.

This could be bad audio. Oh. No, it's speaker? Yeah, yeah. It's gonna be bad audio. No, it's great. It's great. Okay. See if you can hear me. No, you can't. Oh, she's got hands on. Tell them, tell them, tell them you call them back from a different number. I'll call you back from a different number. Just give me a moment. I'll call you back from a different number. Okay, so I just have them, I just told them to call them back. I think you should be able to call them now. All right, I'll call them back.

God, here we go. Who the fuck is this? Dadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadad I've been forwarded to an automatic... Ah! Met you there? He just called me! Texam, tell him you call him back from a different number. I, uh, okay. I... Hi! He's called me Major Apple, okay.

Oh, here we go, I think this is it. Mint, you can you hear that? Yes, I can. Okay, there we go. Hey, is this Mint's dad? You're on the the dick show. Hello Hello, hi, hello, sir. Are you there? Can you hear me? Yes? You're on the dick show right now. I just want to let you know it's being recorded

I'm a friend of I'm a friend of minst and she's Okay, I'm a friend of Marie's she's she's worked for the show She's done a lot of incredible artwork for the show and she's been having a really hard time lately She sent me all these emails you sent her over Christmas. Oh No, that was it something tells me that you're going to get an email Oh, no man. Oh, that's bad Immediately immediately disconnected oh No

Not talking shit now Welp, see ya. Give him a minute. See if he wants to call in again. Oh, yeah, that's gonna happen. Oh, you never know. I'm just waiting to see if he's gonna text me back. I mean, what?

He's calling me. Wrong number, dad. What left? What do you have left to lose? I mean, what he's one left. He's calling me. Wrong number, dad. What do you have left to lose? You got all that reality, you got no health insurance. You're already pulled off of everything, the Netflix is gone. Okay, just call him back.

Yeah, call me back. Yeah, yeah, it's calling back. Seriously? Seriously, dude. Yeah, this guy gonna's coming back. Seriously? Yeah, this guy going to do this. He better. This uncharted waters for me. Confronting parents.

No, I didn't think so. Now doing it on a show. Okay, I texted him. And I'll give you an update on it. Hmm. Is he gonna call in? Don't know. Like, I hope he does, but you don't know. Okay.

Uh, I'll play another one. Yeah, I can't, I can't really give you time, unfortunately. Time. What do you mean? She can't give you a time when he's going to call in. Yeah. Oh, I mean, he he's clearly he clearly pushed out all right here I'm gonna play I'll say on the

say on the cv calls and I'm gonna play some more voice mills okay they've it's your pal deep it's all right I just experienced uh... negative feedback from the whole thoughts and prayers they okay not a religious guy yeah uh... not a superstition but hey don't hurt me so somebody if somebody says, hey, cross your fingers,

I'll fucking do it. That friend's daughter's dick. I don't know her religious background at all, because I don't care about that kind of shit. So hey, the daughter's dick, keep her in your thoughts and prayers. And I said, absolutely. So who do I make the prayer out to?

Just curious, like, you want me to pray? Sure, but don't just assume I know who the fuck I'm praying to. Well, apparently that was extremely insensitive and unnecessary. And I thought I was being a gentleman because I was actually gonna do it. So I was gonna custom pray.

I took the time. Who I make the prayer out and it's that's a great little off i hope i put that right it's the biggest religion right so technically if i go to law

i'm doing i'm doing my favor anyhow to the they make it back to the u.s US they don't get banned from the US You know what I That's about the most amount of time I could spend in Japan though. I could never live really yeah, it's just to yeah Like I've had to speak quietly for an entire week crazy really was about that was it. Oh, yeah, I heard me in my soul. I believe you. Let me see. Hey there, big this year is Rod Bammer. Yeah, it's Rear and this is how I call it.

Now I just call him to let you know what makes me a raise. And that's whenever I wake up in the morning and I go into bathroom to go brush my teeth. Take that tooth brush and turn on the water faucet and run it under the water a little bit. You're not bristles. And I grab some toothpaste and put it on there and then I run eat under the water to weigh that a little bit.

But then I hold it the wrong way, and I washed it the toothache, I tied it off, and then I had to reapply, and damn, I tell you what, that makes me want to fill it with a 55 gallon drum of wool pass and dump it on some wool pass. Gotta be fair, man. Gotta be fair, man.

Gotta be fair, man. Gotta be fair, man. Gotta be fair, man. Gotta be fair, man. Gotta be fair, man. Gotta be fair, man. Gotta be fair, man. Gotta be fair, man. Yeah, that's fake. Come on, Slime. That's fake. You can go on a fluffy sale. We're all on a day of murder out. That's fake. Adiz Girl gave me a complex about flossing in Japan. Well, why? Because she flost her teeth and said that,

she says she's blows air through her teeth, like puts her tongue on her teeth, and blows air through it. And her is sounds like air going in and out of between her teeth, but mine, like she has like a thigh gap in her teeth. That fucking bitch gave me a thigh gap complex about my teeth.

Jesus. She says there's so much plaque buildup between my teeth that my teeth don't make any sounds when I try to blow air so people just have really tight teeth. That's what I told her, but I'm, now that I'm on my heels on the defensive, I don't feel confident in my teeth. So now I'm thinking of taking up flossing because the one fucking comment about whistle, teeth whistling thigh gap teeth. Well, um, so I'm dealing with that now. thigh gap insecurity for my teeth. Oh, what's

up? Dick, I got an update from my dad. He texted me. Um, we call the police. We are filing through all, yeah, filling through all nine things on the list. We are getting our money back from school. We are done with your shit. Flipping baby millennials, spoiled brat. Well, at least you didn't bitch out of a call, did she? Again. Oh, by the way, Jen X, motherfucker, you can't pull that you can't pull that power tripping boomer shit on me We grew up with this shit. Where are you gonna say Sean? I was gonna say just you know

Like somebody else raised her. Oh, yeah, right. I love that. Yeah. I love that Not a millennial man. We don't take shit from our parents because they're fucking dumb. Where we've been on to your ship for a long time. All right, man. Well, maybe I'll call in next week. I don't think you will, but thank you. You never know. You never know. Boomers can't let anything go.

That's why we've been listening to their Christmas songs for the last 50 years. Wow. Have a good. What makes you a rage? Anything make you a rage? Buying a car makes me a rage. Yeah. It's annoying's it's annoying it's annoying I went I had money I had I had money to get the car and they're like oh yeah by the way you can't buy this because

you have to do all this shit and it's like mother I just want to buy the fucking car holy shit I have money take my money literally my what else they make you do They okay, so I had to credit a bunch of credit shit and also oh You have to you can't do alone because you don't have proof of income and all this other bullshit and then You have to have a cosigner and other other shit and she's like But I have money take my money. I have cash with me, take my cash. You're going to pay for it outright. They know they won't let you do that. Because I did that with my car and they wouldn't let me do it.

They offer you incentives to finance it because they get money. The more financial instruments they can sell, they get kickbacks from the bank. So if you have the cash, they will not let you do it. I mean, obviously there are exceptions in the shit- the shit, in the shit-tier car world. Well, I mean, I know somebody will not. Well, I know somebody, no, I know somebody who just bought a brand new Honda just wrote a check. The whole thing, what she's saying is not wrong, because the same thing happened to me, like, all right, here you go. How much money, like, well, don't you want to finance it? Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

I get why they have an incentive to do it but uh... and but the difference is I knew that I would I mean there's a difference between our negotiating obviously okay man thank you sorry that we couldn't get your parents on the line thank you uh... nice dick good luck disappointing dick you know it really makes me a fucking rage people who walk into a retail establishment disappointing you know what makes me a fucking rich

people who walk into a retail establishment i do not have the product that we're looking for and then proceed to fucking tell me and tell me that oh yeah man i was totally about it you know if you had it here man i just wish i could do business with you man i was ready to buy it. You know, I have the money right here.

You should really carry this. I'm not happy that you can pay for it. It's like a fucking ration. I don't have what you're looking for. You can order it online. You can do whatever. I do not have it here. So please stop fucking telling me that how you would do business here If you have the fucking you have the product

I like to keep my business local I'm gonna pull something out of my ass cuz it's like oh yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh you would buy it. Oh Cool said the magic fucking password. So now I just pull it out of my ass and here it is Here's a fucking shit you're looking for god damn piece of shit but i just don't get it don't tell me about the product that you want because i don't fucking have it if i had if i could just magically pull product out of my ass, what do we work? Think that I would be fucking working a retail establishment. No, I could just pull shit out of my ass. I'd be a fucking millionaire. So like, oh man, I got it. So this fucking painting that's worth a billion dollars. I got right here. Why couldn't he just pull

money out of his ass? Yeah. Just skip the whole, you know, good. I'm gonna negotiate you into having the thing that I'm talking about. Yeah, okay. No, people are saying in chat, I understand that you can buy a car with just cash, but they will try to pressure you. Of course I will. And to do that.

Cause it works to their advantage, sure. They will either knock money off or just not do it. Yeah. Well, believe me. It doesn't happen to me. I painted off early, but I know, but they're so desperate. They gave me a huge discount if I would just finance it for and let finance it on paper and pay it off early. And they may give you a bigger, you know, because you can work them and not tell them shit, you know, like, yeah, you can work them and work them and work them. And then it's like, oh, I'm gonna pay cash. Yeah, and that's, you know, that's just, that's just that she's not wrong.

Um, um, um, couple more. Dick, what makes me rage is simple questions that have really complicated answers. I'm on the keto diet. Oh, God. Okay. And I decide to have as a snack some peanuts. But then I remembered, well, I should make sure peanuts are keto. So I look it up.

And the first thing I see says, yes, peanuts are keto. I, who is what it says, I did keto and my personal trainer told me that peanuts are great source. A great snack. So I get some peanuts. Is crystal meth keto because you could have any of that? I'm back on my phone and I see, oh, another result.

That's a bad kid though. Is pain. No, peanuts are not actually nuts. They're like cubes, which have sugars. I've seen it in the front. They're not kiddos. Oh, fuck off everyone on keto. Everyone on keto, go live on cyanide.

Cyanide is not keto. Go eat a shitload of it fuck all you people I'm so fucking tired of keto. I don't even know what it is Are you keto? No, I'm not kosher either Okay, here we go Hey, Sean hey dick my name's Stewart from Canadaada of the blue color work and guide just like you and i've got a rake i would like to get that

now last year i was with my girlfriend around christmas time and her family from out of town was coming in for two weeks and so i was told that i was obligated to hang out with her family not mine her family for two weeks. So she started hanging out with him. And after one week, I'm gonna check you

to see them every day. Oh, God! Oh! It came up to be Friday evening. There was a party going on, and I said to her, hey, do you think I could take one night off of being with your family? Yeah.

So I could go to this party mm-hmm and you know what she did she started fucking crying manipulating the system what i don't understand i've been with your family for one week i just want one one i'm not gonna get that that her family's incredibly important to her oh fuck you i am obligated to go because it's what she wants. Well fucking bitch, what do you think I want?

All right, fuck, I'm only a man, I can only do too much. God fucking damn it. I love you Sean, I guess. Love you too. Bye, that's my way. Hey, they, I don't know, maybe that's a, they sound like maybe they're on the younger side. And like that's, I think the woman maybe they're on the younger side. And like that's, I think the woman, just, you know, whatever.

I don't know. I've known some women who understood that like you can't get the guy to do everything you want all the time. You can't spend that much time around any family. You gotta have fucking overwhelmed. I've overwhelmed me. I've been lucky. I've been lucky. My relationships, they've understood that because it's like, okay, I'm gonna get them to do some things.

I'm not gonna get them to do everything. Are people like that? I can't spend a week straight around my own family. Like if we go on a trip every other day, I'm like, I gotta get out. I gotta go gotta here for a minute. Yeah. If 80s girl and I go on a long trip, I'm like, I gotta get out. I gotta go, gotta hear for a minute. Yeah.

If 80s girl and I go on a long trip, I will try every, I will say, okay, we're doing another thing. We're going out tonight. We're going to have a, usually our alone time involves a lot of blow jobs, but I make sure to get her away from the family for at least a little bit. That's cruel and unusual. To subjective to something like that.

Sarah, you're absolutely right. Tell your girlfriend to call in and I'll yell at her. Maybe had was right. I don't know. He seemed pretty passionate about it. One more. Alright. Hey, Dave, Dave Sean.

What makes me rage is people that don't fucking care about being a burden on other people. They're kind of the same time people that like didn't weigh it. You know, like, you're going through a door like an upshopping or like your child parked your car. But it's a little bit more nuanced in that. Like, for example, the sort of like, passively, aggressively like manipulate situations to like cash in. They're fucking credits later, whereas they're like, where they're like people you want to go eat somewhere and you go hey you want to tell you their fucking pizza they're like well they really want to tell you but they'll be like well I want to speak up but I guess the talent if you're if you want to tell you know like they'll they'll they'll make it seem like thanks you know

they're depending to your to or whatever you want later on you can be like thanks for your whatever you want later on mario well you know what all of you did i did it last time or you know shit like that or they'll be like i don't know just all kinds of adopted you like to get pizza and then they try to act like fucking i don't even know how to explain it.

Fucking these people are just like, you just like say you're like, oh, you want to meet up somewhere? Like, well, this is out of my way. Like, you know, like, you want to pick me up and then you know, or what, like, they do a little shit like that. Where it's, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm trying to make my way, but I'll meet you there. Maybe your girlfriend does this shit too, you know, it's just like, kind of fucking annoying. Like, stacking, yeah. I'm telling my way, but I'll meet you there. Maybe your girlfriend does a shin too, you know, it's just like kind of fucking annoying. Like, stacking up credits. I wish it's fucking, I don't know, people are fucking stupid, it's kind of ranting, do you think,

or something like that. They're mining you. They're mining you for a cryptocurrency that is built on obligation and favors. That's their running their mind or all the time. Our relationships weird, I mean, just between people, they're so weird. There's so much static, unnecessary noise in the middle of them.

Well, this is, because people are so, somebody else, they're so different. This is the weird part about Japan is there's none. Yeah. From an outsider looking in, it's like everything is functioning the most the most unbelievable site. It's not very personal is it? Is it personal? I mean, well to me, no, okay, I'm not in it. Yeah, I'm so I'm such an outsider We weren't even allowed in some restaurants because they just say flat out no foreigners Wow, and I'm my thinking is fuck man. That would have the audacity of that would never occur to me

I would never occur to me. I would never in my wildest dreams could I imagine saying to somebody else, no you, whatever you are, I'm not allowed in my establishment. Like that is, even if I thought it, I wouldn't say it, but they just without missing a beat, not no form. No shit. Seeing the people on the escalator, all on the left, or all on the right. And without even anybody, barely any people would use that open channel to go up.

But it's there. Just everybody, yeah. That's the frictionless society. That's the, that is the, the, the, completely homogenous frictionless society. That's wild. And the amount of friction.

I would not have seen that for myself. You know what I mean? Like just see how their relationships work, how they treat each other, how friction, you know, I mean, like just see how their relationships work, how they treat each other, how they, you know. And so many weird customs that would be such a blessing to us, if we just had, if everybody was playing the same team, and playing by the same rules as we have over here, but clearly just, that's like, that's this guy's call, the social friction of, oh well, you don't ever say, oh, I would have preferred spaghetti, but pizza is okay, I guess.

Like, where did you get that? Where did you pull, what ruleset are you playing from? What edition of Dungeons and Dragons and Idiots are you playing from? Because my rule book says don't do that. So, can, fucking update mine, update to mine. Yeah. Well, I don't know.

Everybody's got their own truth, Dick. Minced ads says we're filing, we're putting a restraining order on you. Don't come near us. What did you do this semester? Join the church of Satan. Okay. Well, I think I see also what a little bit of the problem might be. Maybe a little bit.

Maybe. Yeah. It's not how we're streaming orders work, buddy. Good luck, though. Bye, everybody. See ya.