The Dick Show - Episode 191 - Dick on Exposure

Episode Date: January 28, 2020

A virgin wins the lost 6th episode, putting lids on, Corona virus jokes, surviving your mid-20s life crisis, the Encyclopedia Dramatica admin gets arrested, how to rifle the barrel of a gun in your garage, Kiwi Chris' Poetry Korner, the imperial vs. metric vs. biblical systems, touch screens, Tom Leykis blocks me, trying to get out of work, and The Dick Show makes one million dollars; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

That's what they're saying. I haven't heard anything about a bat. Well, that's what they're saying. It has a shares of viral ancestor with. Oh, but I think the obvious, I think it was obviously made in a lab to wipe out the, to wipe out Taiwan. Is that not, is that not what,

listen, everything China does is what I would do in their place. Every single time they do anything, I think I would have done that. Yep, yep, that's exactly what I would have done it. So if I happen to spill the most contagious, most disastrous pandemic in the history of mankind on my own people, it's not because they were eating bats, it's because I was whipping up a batch of death to release on Taiwan. What's your take on AIDS?

So I could, I mean, what's my take on AIDS? Yeah. Have you ever fucked a monkey? I have not, time to start thinking about it. Oh, that's because it's weird. I know I don't, it didn't somebody eat fucked a monkey? I have not. Time to start thinking about it. Oh, that's because it's weird. I know I don't, it didn't somebody eat like a monkey but he ate something like that. That goes from bush meat.

Yeah. So I am not some kind of a virologist or an orthopedist or whoever studies these. Even an internist. Even an internist, but it seems like making the leap from bats to snakes to humans. And it's not contagious, and it's contagious while it's not showing symptoms for two weeks. And Wuhan is the center of like this Chinese super pathogen research center.

Really? Yes. And some spies got booted out of Canada for sending pathogens secretly back to the lab last year. Really? Yes. And they have literal concentration camps for Muslims in that country. And they routinely displace millions of people for the purpose of building infrastructure. It just seems like they probably, you know what, I'll tell you what happened with,

I'll tell you exactly what happened with China. Here, this is great. This is President Breaking News. This news for you? This news, yeah. I have breaking news. Okay. Ah, I have lots of good news, too.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Welcome to the egg. You want to dig, you knee to glue, you love to, you got it.

It's a show. We're in the contest. I'm going to be live from Mount Brooker, deep in the heart of the city. I feel like I'm your host, Nick Masters, an AK, the $20 million man voted America's worst Mexican, 41 weeks running. It's proven, proven recently, Sean, because I don't drink Corona. Corona is on everybody's minds with the coronavirus. It's a race when these virality pandemic, it's a race to see who's the fastest to make

the corona joke. Boy, I have it's it's rolled around in my mind so many times and I was like, not even I will utter that phrase in a joke form. That's a word of a coronavirus. I'm working on a Madillo virus. Oh my god. I'm just hoping I'll never hear a joke with that as the, you know, the crux of it. You know what the cure is for coronavirus?

A couple of lines. That's how they make that joke. You know what the cure is for coronavirus? A couple of limes! Yeah! That's how they make that joke. They're texting you that joke. They go like full Rick and Morty. Uh-huh. Morty freaks out. Ha, ha, ha!

I'm trying to think of a third one. What's a third pun for the coronavirus? You know, see, I can't even allow my brain to go there. It's too bad. I've been working on a coronavirus since last, since last Friday. I'm in a picture of a sombrero. Oh God, kill me. Give me the fucking virus. So I don't have to hear the jokes anymore. Everybody who has all the same time align above my friends up. This one was the winner.

You had the joke first. So the coronavirus is just a permutation of that, right? I mean, that's well-known, well-researched, like all that kind of stuff. What do you mean? Well, I mean, coronavirus is like a whole family of a virus, correct? Hold on. They're saying I'm not in. What?

Not in where? Eric, YouTube's playing, man. What are you talking about? Is he fucking? Eric, YouTube's playing, man. What are you talking about? Is he fucking with us? YouTube is playing. Eric. Eric. Eric.

Eric. Business ethics, Eric. Business ethics, Eric. Yeah, you're right. You had a fucking boom. The coronavirus, it was started as I said before the show. The reason it started is because they were bioengineering a super weapon to set to excuse a military

incursion into Taiwan, because they're seeing these protesters like, fuck, I really wish we had a virus on leash on these people so we could excuse just going in, marching all over them and arresting people and shooting people, right? That can be arranged. Here, have a couple beers. But then a woman, there you go.

Here, just, here, I get, here's, there's an investigation of coronavirus and it's just a picture of a guy with a 18 pack. A woman at the facility left a cap off of the virus that they were making. Letting you out of the bottle. Who lost the tools in space. Yeah. This one, Mrs the tools in space. Yeah.

This one, always just miss handling. This is fucking magoo. Going leaping in from woman to woman causing mass incompetence, that's what happened. A woman at the facility left the cap off of the bottle of the virus and it escaped. Oh.

Cause they love leaving their caps off. Hmm. I got this one from Scott. Where is it, Scott? Where, where, where, where am I? Reverend Scott, holy shit, you just mentioned one of my biggest rages, women putting caps on things, crooked, or not at all.

You ever picked up a cap on in your life, picked up the cap off something? Whoo, there goes the bottle. I kicked over an entire bottle of hydrogen peroxide in that shithole I lived in Hollywood because the woman I dated did not put caps on. Was it just setting on it or was it- Set on top or was it mistreated? Set on top. Why?

I believe I think it's because they can't figure out the mistreads. That's what the number of times I have seen a woman just tear through the threads. Yeah, to get it on Because I get it is to is to put it on very lightly and let it follow the threads down and then back it up You bitch back it up you bitch. That's how it works. You back it up you fucking bitch You can tell you can get a sense for it and then go forward gently Go forward gently. They just put it on and crank it. Yeah, automatically. That doesn't seal shit. No, maybe it.

Nope. I automatically put caps on, like everything that has a cap, like if I'm drinking a bottle of water, when I'm done drinking it, cap goes on. So it's sitting there because I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm not gonna over, I know that. Well we're, we're done for. That's how the coronavirus started. I believe, I believe.

Yep. Yep. I haven't heard anyone say otherwise, but I for that's how the coronavirus started. I believe I believe. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't heard anyone say otherwise, but I think that's how it started. Uh, it's in in Orange County now. Look, you know, really I heard it was in Washington just found this car in Orange County. Oh, really? So I'm dead. Yeah. Because girlfriend works at an elementary school. There's a 100% chance that I get everything that comes around. Yeah. But still, it's a little disease bags, man. I am so, I don't want to hear shit. I don't want to hear anything else about this stupid disease until the death count is

in the millions. Oh, yeah. So sick of getting blue bald. Remember the, the swine flu, the swine flu thatilled a lot fewer people than just the regular flu does every year. Yeah. I didn't remember whatever. Yeah, bird flu. Let me know when you get into the six, seven figure range.

Yeah. That's when I want to hear otherwise. No, I know. Give me a fucking break. It's just something to, you know, tickle the old news cycle. I get so excited. Have you, I want the doomsday preppers to get a win. Yeah, I mean.

Cause they look like assholes so much. And everyone shits on them. And I saw a doomsday prepper show cause I love sickness. I love watching it. I love interacting with it. Bites me in the ass on occasion. Yeah, but, you know, I love watching derangements.

You have more wins than losses interacting with it. I like it when it's right on top of the surface. It's like it's like staring into a diamond or an opal for me. You see all that fascinating stuff. Most people put so many layers of hobbies and lies on top of their derangement that you can't see anything, but a system of Marvel movies and job stories. And by the time you drill down there, there's no light getting through, but the deranged, the truly deranged, who have it all on the surface,

you can see all their brilliant humanity. Yeah. So you're just, you're just right out there. There's right out there. You're just right out there crazy like, and the Doomsday Preppers get shit on for this. Constantly. I was watching one show, a Doomsday Prepper show,

where Guy Blushat is thumb off during the middle of the show. Really? Yeah, shot had to get his thumb off during the middle of the show. Really? Yeah. Shot had to get his thumb surgically re-a half size. And what was he trying to do? He was trying to show off his Doomsday prepping. Oh, it's stuff. Like check out this fucking guy that I have in my Doomsday prepping.

Is it to like shoot the thumbs off zombies so that they can't open his doors? I think he just didn't know I'd use a gun. Oh, I'm a fan. I just wanted to have a win. I want all the Doomsday preppers to go. You know what? We did it.

All of this, all of these tunnels and stuff to my bug out bag. Yeah. It worked for once. Who's laughing now? Who's laughing now? Let me see here. And me, our corona speaking of. It's like they're trying to take a big ol' shit.

Yeah. That joke. Right. And like fucking shut themselves into a heart attack. We've got a winner. Trey. Trey is the big winner in the Virgin Contest, so that's been confirmed. It's been confirmed according to him.

I don't know. I don't really need a smell test for it. I take his word for it, but the big race between screwy-luie, um, screwy, Louie, Matt fuck face. Yeah. And, uh, and tray poor screwy, Louie, he's been, he's been trying for, I mean, he's, he's been putting in work. Yeah. Yeah. He's been doing work and see if he's here. That doesn't mean he should stop. No, I was gonna, I thought to myself, these guys have, let me get Tray in here. Tray just hasn't been vocal about it. No, Tray, you're self man. I'm you yourself man.

Yeah, you're there. Okay, crank him up Sean Tray. You're the big winner. I'm going to send you the lost episode six, just as soon as I'm done recording today. Congratulations. I assume it was with the girl you wrote in about last week, because that's true or falls. Yes sir. that's true or false That's true way to go. It's been got it's been eight months eight months. Yeah eight months

Do you have any do you have any plans for what you're gonna do with your winnings your episode? Okay I'm gonna have to figure that out. I'm a little good all this stuff, and I'll spend a lot of time on the internet as it is. I'm gonna like shine that way. Okay, well maybe just keep up. You're gonna try to upload it. Maybe just keep it to yourself for a little bit. I don't know. And you're gonna do that too. Make sure you get some good pants too.

Yeah. Because that's how this whole fiasco started. Because screwing Lily was wearing. I was supposed to bang. You wear what? Cardboard shorts. So I have extra pockets. Okay, get it on a necklace.

They're securely closed. Actually, I should probably just send it to you by snail mail. So there's more chance of there being a mistake. So we can put some sort. Yeah, I don't want to just send it to them digitally. Right? No, we got a bunch of assure thing. Yeah, I'll send it to you, physically.

And then you won't release it until all three of them get laid. Yeah. All right. All right, Tray, do you have any words of wisdom for the other guys? I, it was very awkward. I mean, I, I was there for, she sent a total of like three days to here. I'm not playing support anything. At least any sort of actual penetration happened, but.

Okay. All right, sir. Yeah. Okay. But yeah, just go for it. More or less is what I think I could have probably gone for the first night. You see it, but I just getting that up and do it. Okay.

Go for it. I don't know if they're in that situation. They just want to call it. Go for it. Go for it. Did you hear that, Sean? I heard that. Yeah, everybody go. Hopefully the sex went better than the audio on this phone. I know you're terrible. I

can buy trade. Congratulations. Congratulations. Congratulations. Okay. So I'll send that to him. The other guys, I'll just give out the other episode. The first one of those two who gets late, I'll give out the second episode. Speaking of episodes, we're coming up on 200. Yeah. We're gonna have a huge, I've decided we're gonna have a huge party. It can be like a multi-day party. How can we not, I mean, it's 200 episodes. It's a fucking impressive. It is impressive.

That is impressive. Impressive number of episodes. I think we'll do the Maddox funeral. Saturday, find out a place to hold it, either way we'll have a big party in the end. Wow. Which I, which I decided to do when we went out to trivia. Yes.

Which I'm still pissed off about. Your pissed off showing. Do you know a competitive I am? Sean, that was awful. I have always been, I have been so bitter years of doing trivia. It started with just me and 80s girl going to trivia. And I would rage quit every time because I am so bad at trivia. And we would get into the third or fourth round bar trivia. We would get into the third or fourth round be in a distant last play. What you could tell you're when you're just hovering over the teams who quit. And I would get drunk or a drunker and rage quit every time. And the

entire time I was looking at the teams of six, five, six people squeezing in an extra person in there and not mentioning it, being consumed with my envy of these brilliant friend groups, always wanting one of my own and assuming the entire time that that was the secret to complete and total trivia domination. That number one spot well-rounded group who could come from all sides,

have their own set of expertise. Then we picked up Randy, the ultimate high squad you're describing. Then we picked up Randall, who is some sort of genius trivia master who knows geography, Hollywood, all that pop trivia stuff, a math, he's keeping track. Randy busted the quiz master, the closest we ever got

to first place. Randy went up, I've never seen this before in my life. Randy went up and said, you added it up wrong. Here's our score, We're actually in second. I said, oh my, and he said, you're good. Yeah, good. He said, one Asian to another, don't fucking, don't, don't play me like I didn't do this math right.

Chop pathically. And they did some kind of, they did some secret kind of, and like chopping, like, you know, the wood thing. Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop. Somebody cronty thing. Somebody crane kicked the other one in the temple and then all was settled.

Yeah. And they had, they had a saw he's's out. I don't know about that one. Jesus. Yeah, right. And Randy did some back to him. And that was the closest we ever got, but then it went down. diminishing returns we down got sloppy or we got worse, worse, worse, worse. And then this week finally, we had a bunch of people. Sean agrees to come. The brain. Sean the brain and the body ventura Decides to come to trivia and I think this is it Yeah, he knows everything about animals Sean would never eat a bat if he saw you eating a bat He would slap it out of your hands. I'd feed it to a monkey and create something new super AIDS. Yeah

I just don't you think that's probably bioengineered. Like a virus. I don't think so in this case, but you know. Just came out of a bat. They're so big. I'm a chow on bats so badly. They're always mutating those virus. They are.

Finally, Sean is there. Oh, Randy is there. I am there to do almost nothing. Girlfriend is there to do slightly less. This is the super team I've been dreaming about. My, Lewis is there. I know. With infinite music knowledge.

Yeah. And we get in ninth place or something. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, we would have every time. Never to play this. Yeah, this is, this was a pathetic show in the trivia. Pathetic. ninth place or something. No, yeah. You know, if I had listened to her, my girlfriend would have been more helpful than me. And that out of the show.

Don't say that, edit that out of the show. Uh, so angry about it. Yeah. So angry and bitter. Okay, so there you heard the. Me too. Those are some, those are some weird trivia. They were almost like, it was almost like

jeopardy or wheel of fortune where they're like puns and then you're like, okay. I'm good at those. That's the ones I'm good at. Yeah, yeah, you are good at those. You are good at those. Oh yeah, I'm good at those. Yeah, yeah.

I'm like a serious history trivia guy. They're not really into that. They're like, they're like in the last two years. Yeah, a lot of that shit. Okay, let's see what else I got here. Coronavirus. It's like they knew I don't go outside. Caps not put on, yep, yep, yep.

Oh, Space Force, have you seen that? No. Space Force logo? No. Yeah, and you really don't see anything. Here, let me pull it up for you. See if it reminds you of anything. This is a...

Oh, shit, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is what Trump pulled off as the space... Remember how in Space Force was launched? I said the most exciting part, are the logos in the uniforms? Yes, you did say that. I remember. We'll have a war just so we could make new designs

and our fucking uniforms. Yeah, so it looks just like fucking Star Trek. Does it not obviously just look like Star Trek? Which I love. It's like, oh yeah, you just obviously it's like Star Trek, right? Well, that's like what our shit shit, because it's more creative in Make Believe.

Yeah. Like that's what it, that's what it fucking should look like. I tried to do, I tried to put some autism into this to see what Star Trek exactly ripped off and I got a pretty good, I got a pretty good history lesson from Mad Cucks of all people on where the Star Trek logo came from. I think he would know.

But the, I think it's hilarious that it is a obvious and blatant rip off. Let me try to pull up a bigger picture for you. There we go. Big ol' but there are guys, there are guys, I would say almost slavishly defending this as not a rip off because there exists a prior logo in the Air Force that is equally from 1982 that is equally ripped off. And is equally ripped off. And my equally ripped off from Star Trek. Star Trek, which was in the 60s.

Yeah, did that logo, that logo we're looking at originally appeared in the original series in the 60s? Yeah, I think so. I think so. It was in the 60s, whatever, right? And they're like, oh, it's ripped off from NASA. It's a fucking triangle in the middle of the thing.

I get it. I get it that triangles were used in the Air Force, I get it, it's from NASA. It's a fucking triangle in the middle of the thing. I get it. I get it that triangles were used in the Air Force were I get it from 1982. It fucking looks like it looks exactly like Star Trek. Yeah. It looks like nobody on earth could look at that. I don't know. It designer especially and go, oh, well, I mean, this is obviously Star Trek. We're gonna. Right to mention that Trump is in a wake at night with an etch a sketch trying to design new like he's got nothing to do with this fucking thing. No, he's awake with an etch a sketch trying to draw the perfect curved line. He's very difficult. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. The bending over backwards to defend this. Yeah, we've been driving me fucking. No, it's actually not a rip off. It's actually not a rip, just fucking look at it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Yeah, either you are stupid or you're pretending to be stupid and I don't know what's worse.

No one cares. No one cares that it's ripped off. It's hilarious. And it looks like shit. It's a weird, a weird silver triangle that's got nothing to do with America. Yeah, it's like a, right. Looks like crap. There's some kind of weird ass compass.

Like somebody screenshot it in Asteroids game. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, those guys have been driving me crazy to see what else I got here. Oh, Tom Likus blocked me. Oh, yeah. Blocked by Likus. Oh, it's by Likus.

Really? I was running my mouse a little bit. About him? No, yeah. Blocked by Likus. Oh, it's by Likus. Really? I was running my mouth a little bit about him. Twitter. No, he tweeted some things about Trump. I said, who cares? Oh, and then he posted this big next thing immediately, saying, attention everyone's saying, who cares? We'll get you blocked forever.

People follow me. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Why does he care so much? Guy hates Trump. I don't know. He really hates Trump as much as some people love him. Yeah. Is he, he's like up on his ranch in Santa Barbara.

Like does he do a satellite shows or what? I don't know, he does podcast. Can I borrow the sodas? Yeah. Thank you. I don't know, but then I also encountered a strange, But then I also encountered a strange set of beliefs of people who think that getting blocked on the internet is a violation of the bro code.

I don't know how to explain it because I don't understand it at all. What they think like, like, bros shouldn't block bros. Yeah, like, oh, that's. Yeah, that's a bitch move. And then my thoughts is, while I was trying to antagonize Tom like us and I antagonized him sufficiently for him to notice and then end my antagonism.

Mission accomplished. Mission accomplished. That is the point. I had nothing to offer the conversation besides my obnoxiousness. Yes, this was the result. Right. This was my goal. Yeah. And it is achieved.

Right. It is not a, is that a bitch move? It is a, uh, going, I'm ending the situation. It's conversation. It's conversation. I do not wish to participate any longer. And I promise you, the bitch move is not the one doing the blocking, but the one endlessly complaining about it.

Yeah. Yeah. Endlessly complaining that they're crying and attention seeking is not being well received. Yeah. That was my thought on that. But I do wish Tom would unblock me. I apologize. It was my fault. So here But I do wish Tom would unblock me. I apologize. It was my fault.

So here's another one I got speaking of going zons. I've also got some poetry from Chris the Kiwi that I want to get to before easy peasy. This is truly a blessed episode. Yeah, dude. He's been negotiating with me for a month. Really? Yeah.

He finally accepted $40 for three of his poems. Really? And he sent almost immediate. Wow. Well, he's not a man who moves quickly when it comes to negotiating. Yeah. Yeah. He's a very, he knows his value and he will stick to it.

Okay. This is from JMAA. Perhaps you remember him. He called in about the time he was tricked into eating his own feces a couple of months ago. And then he called in again last week about how he had sex with that hooker at the age of 12. So he saw people piling on me about money

and he decided to take a turn. Oh boy. Here it is. Here's his commentary on the, here's JMA is commentary on me. It's not really strange that a lot of people are not that good for tick masher said in LA based comedian because like he did with me, he siphons away our talent into his personal gain, like a comedy vampire. Like a comedy. I'm not paying for fucking bitch, Sean, that's why that's why I've been leading, I've been leading people on and siphoning away their talents like eating shit for my personal comedy game.

He just seemed like an interesting guy to talk to and maybe he could promote his shitty eating shit. Whatever, you know, I mean, he's got a baking, he's got a cooking channel. Yeah. Uh, I'll tell you know, we tried to make mochi's this week. I got we got in the Japanese mood. Really? After being in Japan, you know, that, you know, that lame scene and lost in translation

where Bill Murray calls his wife and says, I was thinking we should eat fresh. We should, like, sushi and she goes, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah. Never mind. This was a stupid idea. Yeah. Okay. That is what we did here.

Okay. Like, let's try to, let's try to do some Japanese thing. Yeah. So, ladies, girl, bought all this like mochi making stuff. Yeah. So, we could try to make it. I love mochi. So do we. Yeah.

But it was like this consistency of it is like trying to clean up after you've jerked off and there's no towels around. Is that what I'm seeing in the refrigerator? What the hell's going on in the refrigerator upstairs? It's embarrassing. Is that what that was or is that some other kind of like aborted pastry? Looks like an abortion.

Yeah, like I'm like, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our trying to make a gooey shell, right? Or whatever, what happened over some bean paste? Is it right? It's just flour and rice. It's good and stuff. Okay. Mushing it all up, mixing it all up. We thought we were being real cosmopolitan and worldly. Like, oh, we're gonna come back and really,

and put our minds to it and make something great. And then we're gonna spread it around to people. And they're gonna be so overjoyed with getting a fucking mochi. That was made in Mexico. So we did it and we gave some out too. We gave one to our fucking Pilates instructor, the good one, the hot one. Yeah, well that's where you should get it. By the way, said that she's gonna either do, she's gonna either find somebody who can choreograph

me a silly pants dance skating routine or she's gonna do it. Oh wow. So we'll see how that turns out. We gave it all away and then come back to find, we come back to the home to take a big couple pair of mulchies for ourselves, you bite into them and it feels like you're biting into an armadillo. No. Like it's like hard on the top, the consistency is terrible. And the amount of, the amount,

the what makes me erase is the amount of expense that goes into buying all these fucking specific ingredients for this shit, for the amateur hour at the pastry kitchen that then just turns out to this shitted out mess. Yeah. Anyway, so back to not gonna do that again. We have to do again, it's likeitted out mess. Anyway. Anyway. So back to not gonna do that again. We have to do again.

It's like the trivia thing. Now I'm stuck. Yeah. Now I'm stuck in a never ending loop of failure. Why don't you just go to Trader Joe's and then swap them out at the last minute and convince yourself that you made those. Well, I'll float that one by, I see how it plays out.

Here he continues. None of us, like he does me, siphons away our creative talent into his personal gain, like a comedy vampire. None of us regular guests benefited in any way from doing the Dixho. None of us regular guests benefited in any way from doing the show. Not to forget, not to forget, to mention several things. One, I told Dick to put the proper jma.tv link to my website. He didn't listen. Two, I offered Dick commissions for his thumbnails.

He didn't reply. Three, he has an unchecked ego. Well, these are all true. They're all true, factually true. I thought I might tell a little story because this episode is a, this episode is a moment to steal from me and then I'm going to get to some comments and advice and these sorts of regular things, easy peasy's calling in and 3D gun guys calling in. We have a beautiful,

absolutely beautiful news, news girl coming in. Cool. Confirmed it this morning. Oh good. No fuck ups like last week. Okay. But I thought I would tell a story because I'm proud of it and all of you made it happen. And that's why I'm telling it. This week, Gatys Girl hit me up during the day and said, I just want to let you know they're posting my, they're posting my school information, telling people to call it, explicitly telling people to call it. So I let people on the internet, just people on the internet. Everyone on the internet. Okay, thank you for letting me know.

Thanks for keeping me abreast of it. It's always good to know when you're about to get fucked. Yeah, more people in the failure universe. Yeah, you can loob up and prepare for it. Okay, she goes, why? What do you think they're doing this for? Why do you think they're, what's wrong with these people?

Yeah. She's a good sport. Everyone's a good sport. Everyone's a good sport. But, you know, as I've said before, never me that anyone goes after. It's always around me. It's not a good idea to go after me. That's why.

Yeah. So I thought I would cheer up a little bit and say, here's why they're doing it. The joke, you know, you know how I like to keep things short and pithy and not 100% accurate. Yeah. Like, if you're so smart, why know, you know how I like to keep things short and pithy and not and not a hundred percent accurate. Yeah, like if you're so smart, why aren't you rich? Yeah, when it's really if you have so many suggestions that would make me more successful in my endeavors Would it not behoove me to wait until you've applied these suggestions and similar your own similar endeavors to see if they are in fact

If they are in fact valuable, if they hold water. Yeah, that doesn't fit on a t-shirt though, right? No. You can't remember all that, because there's too many big words. We like slogans. We like slogans, so it's if you so smart, why aren't you rich? Right, it's got a little more sting to it. It does, it does.

Just to sidetrack for one minute, which I'm prone to do. I like you shows when there are more of a conversation anyway. Then you can get back to your story, to your great achievement. I have multimedia parts to this story too. Hey, look at that. Yeah, which I was gonna bring this in. You have, as I was listening back

mixing the episode last week, I realized that for five minutes, you were absolutely insufferable after it. Within five minutes, you managed to say, if you're so smart, why aren't you rich? Yeah. Then you were pissing on people who think 50 bucks is like any amount of money. like any amount of money. And then, and then, these tiny, a lot worse today, was the bitching about the 50 inch HD TV

that was a gift. Oh, would you want it? If you had, if you put it in your bedroom, I already had one in there. I already had one in there. It's bigger. You actually bitched about a brand new 50 inch HD because it was 50 inches.

It's the fucking smallest one. I know exactly what's going on in that thought process. It's not about the thing, that's why. Unbelievable. Go back to your little Vicky lab. Can I continue with my story? You can't. It's got to do with Maddox.

I just couldn't believe you did it in five minutes. I couldn continue with my story? You can't. It's got to do with Maddox. I just couldn't believe it's got to do with Maddox. I couldn't believe you did it in five minutes. And there's no way I was the only one who picked that up. Sean, it's the one thing, the one thing you need in your house is a TV. Yeah. And you're getting the absolute bottom one of the TV. You might as well have wheeled in a trinitron

and set it on it. I've got a fucking deal with this now for free Free free free what are you free? What about all the driving and shit that have you ever tried to take something back? Go ahead take take your lunch hours Take it. Yes. I did Why am I gonna put it on the fucking wall? I'm gonna put it on the ceiling in the garage so I can watch movies while I'm working out. That's not a bad idea.

Not a bad idea. It's not a bad idea actually. Okay, good God. This time, so 80s girl Texans is, you know, what's going on? I have these people like this. Right. I'll tell you why they're like this.

So I log on to Patreon. I think I'm gonna put together a little joke here for Ryan, take a little screenshot. I log into Patreon and go over to the earnings area of Patreon. Yes. And I go down to total earnings. Yeah, total.

Yeah, I think, and I'm making, I know how to cheer women up, right? Mm-hmm. Total earnings. Yeah, total. Yeah, I think, and I'm making, I know how to cheer women up, right? Total earnings. Yeah, and I see it, and I have a, what can only be described as a moment of vertigo. Yeah, I take a step back and go, woo, woo, get a little bit of the vapors here. Yeah, even remembering it, I'm being overcome with emotion. Yeah. And it is emotion. Okay.

Couple other things happen this week. You know, I don't know if we're allowed to say her name or not, but a very lovely fan sent me, oh yeah, and I'll get back to what I saw in a moment. But very lovely fan, compiled a bunch of writings from my distant, distant past. Boy, that, yeah, that is old. Distant past, so much so that I may have seen the little aloof when I got the gift because quite frankly, when I look back at the past, I feel embarrassed by it.

Most people do. In all cases. So, yeah. I say it's unreadable. It's unlistenable. I don't, I don't, I appreciate it, but I, obviously, this is something that is such a deep cut and so embarrassing that I'm, I only, I feel mostly shame. I pretty much always relate to that.

Yeah, but I can appreciate it nonetheless. Sure. It's, it happened. It was something that I thought was great at one time. Yeah, and it is where you were at at that time. And it got me to think, it got me thinking. Yeah, I wasn't gonna mention this because I don't want people making fun of me about it.

You know what I mean? I don't want people looking back in my past and making fun of shit that I did. Well, you know, yeah. It's all fucking embarrassing. Had to get drunk and watch the doctor Phil's stuff, so embarrassing to Me, even though it's funny. I went back and looked and it might be,

it might be because of all the recent bruhaha about money shake downs that caused me to do this. It might be because I've been reading a lot of Scrooge McDuck comics. They're started calling me Scrooge McDick after last week because I'm such a cheap skate and a skin flint when it comes to, when it comes to handing out cash. And I am, I see, I am.

You've said that before. If you want a dime from me, bring a crowbar. You're gonna need it. Envoys me not once, not two, but three times minimum. I'm upgraded in folders and Gmail. That was one. Those two, I can keep a little bit longer. That was one. That was two. I can keep a little bit longer.

It looks like three. I look back at this. I look back at this book that this girl created. Does this making sense so far? It's hard to tell stories without names. We'll call her. Yeah. She's on Twitter though.

When I sat down. I went to, you're talking about, I went to post number one. Her and Atomic Denny put this together. Post number one. Saturday March 22nd, 2003. This was the first comedy I ever tried to do on the internet. Was that the first post from that blog?

Yeah. First time I ever thought, you know, I maybe I could do something funny online. Yeah. Let's see where this goes. I love it, people do it, internet's the wild, wild west. Yeah. Internet's the Yukon.

You might say, it's golden those hills, you just got to find it. Keep trying to find it. No matter where it is, keep trying to find it. So this went for, how long did I do this for? It's a couple of years. Yeah, yeah, I remember it. That took me into, many better than women too, about 2005, or did that, didn't make a goddamn thing.

Just made a bunch of enemies, made an ass of myself. That went to TV and I thought, oh, here it is. This is the big break, Dr. Phil, right? This is the big thing, this means eyeballs. And eyeballs means success. That's it. There's no steps. It's just eyeballs! Success!

Big blank area in the middle, that's all you need! Whoa, what a surprise! Dr. Phil's over. Everyone goes home, and you got nothing. As it turns out, everyone else made money in that deal. Did you listen to the episode where you weren't here when Jason called in? Yes. It turns out he made 10 grand for being on Dr. Phil. Yep. Other girls got new cars and they make a goddamn thing.

I thought, oh, okay. How stupid of me to have been excited over this. Well, great move, but stupid to be excited. Stupid to be excited. Should have had different expectations. I know what you mean, you're like, I'm on TV, I should be getting paid for this. In hindsight, it's so obvious.

This turned into obviously relationships with the Maddox. I started there after Dr. Phil, I started just writing TV treatments. Yeah. I had a couple partners besides Maddox that I would create and pitch things with to, I've pitched it Disney, like here's a movie that we wanna do, you sit there, days and come up with it, talk about the story,

put it together, go to some executive, you pitch it, you got 10 minutes, here you go, here it is, what do you think, what do you think, please, God give us a shot! Oh, we need one shot, you start stacking shots on top of each other and hope to one day build a career out of it. You see what I'm saying? Yeah.

But we got passed on. Some big properties too. And your partners start to crack up and they drop off, they get a sex change. This actually happened to me. One of my former partners disappeared for 18 months, came back a woman and I said, oh, wow.

Right. Maybe it's fantastic. Open some doors. Yeah,'re fantastic. Open some doors. Yeah, maybe that will open some doors. Or was it too ahead of the curve? Yeah, but you learn to expect that kind of shit at all times. Yeah.

People betraying each other. People passing on everything. So you start getting pilots, mates, actually selling pilots. We're gonna, pilots, we're gonna put this together. And that's when you start getting fucked. That's when you learn to start expecting to get fucked. Yeah.

That's when you learn to never have the feeling of, oh, I should have gotten a lawyer again. Mm-hmm. And you incorporate that into your person. Yeah. Everything you do, every deal you do when you approach has that built in. Oh, okay.

I expect that getting sucked as part of this arrangement. Got it. Don't worry. We're both accounting for that now. And keep going. Then I got to whatever comedy improv you see be, got onto a house team, worked for years for free,

worked for years for free on great shows, for people that wouldn't even read a text, I sent them now. Who haven't talked to me since the first deal, the first deal, I was gonna be came poison for them because they've come so far that they also know, never to talk to me. It's cruelty is built into them now too, which is fine. I understood it at the too, which is fine.

I understood it at the time, it's fine. Years, years, years, years, working for years, performing comedy for people that not only did I not get paid for, but that I had to pay for. Oh yeah, hiring coaches, hiring rehearsal spaces. This is to work at, and this is to perform at, prime time, nine o'clock, sold out shows every month, not getting a goddamn thing

and being happy about it. Yeah, that's, well, that's their model. It's the, everything's based on the model. It's the world, it's a play. It's the model of the fucking world. It's nobody's model, there's nothing wrong with it. It's how it is because you are striking over and over and over again trying to hit gold.

Yeah. I think it's, no, is it a gold strike, oil strike, you strike oil. Yeah. What is it, hit gold? I don't know, I think you can, you strike gold? Struck gold, he struck gold. Yeah, I think you can strike gold.

I think you can strike gold. Yeah, you swing over and over and over. The swings are free because the payoff is so incredibly huge. That brings me up to the start of the show. And maybe this is getting repetitive for people who know the history of the show. But that's about where the show started. Yeah. And where it started, where it started growing. Bringing me up, finally, to the screenshot

that I took for my girlfriend, to explain this is why this is happening. And only this can explain it. And it can explain it in a way that the numbers cannot. But only the road that has, the only the road that was walked to get there. And I don't know if, and I don't know if I'm explaining it properly, but that is what has gone into it.

The reason I thought of it is because this book arrived, which had literally day one, 17 years ago. Yeah, right? Entry one online. Online of your content online. Which means that this month, after 17 years, and all that free horse shit, which I enjoyed every second of, the Patreon of this show has earned a total of $1 million.

Wow! I thought that was going to be the number. One million. That's amazing. In total revenue. Well congratulations. Thank you. That Maddox, you could have had half of.

I know. I would have taken 30% you fucking idiot. He shot down the Patreon idea immediately, right? Because he was gonna do it himself. I found out about all this after the show was over. Yeah. This kind of stuff where I said, did you ever approach him with your,

yeah, before the show even started, here's what we should do. All you had to do, unbelievable, was say yes. And you would be sitting, Maddox, and you would be sitting on more money than you will ever see for the rest of your life. Yeah. And you could have chiseled me out of even more. All you had to do was say it.

You would have taken less. I would have taken less than half. I would have taken even less than that. All you had to do was say it. But you fucked it up. He knew better. So that's my celebration. We're having a big episode. Yeah, I can't stop thinking of it. You know, talk about, you want to talk about just how quickly two people's lives can change. But that's my point. It's not fast. Seven years of learning how of learning exactly what to do. No, you're right. It's what the monetarily and you're right. It's the 20 year overnight success. Yeah.

As they say, the entertainment industry or something, it's like, yeah, you're slugging it out forever. So forgive me for bragging. Yeah. But there was work that went into it. Every single fucking dollar has a story behind it. I appreciate the support from everybody. Yeah.

I will try to pay it back forever. We're having a big, we'll have a big party to celebrate 200. We'll have Maddox's funeral, but there you go. Kobe Bryant, I've just learned is died in a helicopter crash. I don't think so. Right now. What? Yeah, Sean, right now. For real?

Yeah. Kobe Bryant. I don't know, I've got nothing to say about that though. Are you fucking for real? The halibasis, the helicopter crash. Oh my God. This will be old news by the time I got that. That's insane.

Yeah. It's insane. That's insane. Yeah. That's insane. That's insane. That's one of the biggest people to wow. This is from Eric Blissar. I think sports are pretty shit and 50, 50 of us dickheads don't care for them. If Sean wants to know why, this is an e-mail.

So I took, I centered that screenshot, was the end of that story. Oh, very good. This is why. Yeah. Cause, cause making million bucks without pissing a lot of people off. Yeah, that's probably a wise words. Um, not quite 100% correct, but just pithy, pithy enough to be remembered. If Sean wants to know why this is an email, I sent to Bill Burr a while back. So not only does this guy and really not like sports, he also wouldn't take the time to just retitle this email and pretend like he's sending it to us. Yeah. This was, this was not good. He's being honest.

Is it honesty to send an email? I sent to Bill Burr. I'm sending it to you. I mean, at least he, I don't know. So we don't think he, you know, rittis wrote this expressly for us. So Bill, I don't know, so we don't think he, you know, writ this, wrote this expressly for us. So Bill, I don't get caught with my pants down and bill, burr messages, me and so say, actually, that guy sent me that email. Furry. The burst from Boston, isn't he? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, he's, I know, he's, he's got that obnoxiousness. That ruined, that ruined the Mandalorian for me too. That was a lame ass episode. Is there a space Boston? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaking of that show, like every time I hear somebody who likes it, I go, what did you like about it? I think, well, it's a space western.

It's like a, it's a space western. It's a space western. Yeah, but it's no good. I don't get, okay, I get the concept, but like, that's, that's why you like it. It's a space western. It's a space western. Do you like western? Do you like it. It's a space Western. It's a like Western. Do you like Western? Do you like Westerns?

Are you like fucking my gray? Are you? Do you have a John Wayne time and life and time collector said at VHS on your TV? Like what do you mean it's a fucking space Western? Yeah. When was the last Western you watched? Right.

How is it a Western? Bill, you say that your dissolution by the newer generation not being into sports as much, a survey would probably tell you that people who are not into sports just find it boring as it is now. Yes, because you don't play sports as a kid. So you got no family, like, I got no feelings when I watch football

because I have no idea what they're going through in the field. Yeah, I know. The more you baseball I do. Yes, because I played it. Yep, exactly. Let me see, Nick, I think Nick wanted to have an argument You're about to know really. Oh, yeah, my ideal football scenario would be one where players try to get the ball to the other end by

Any means necessary. Oh my god. No rules. No rules. Okay, so war is that what you're talking about? Okay, where shoulder pads with spikes Splash a bottle of water on the opponent's face. Why water? Why not set a gas in it? Why not guns? Why not a war hammer? Blood bowl, war craft, beat the living shit out of each other. I want broken bones, people going blind, and at least one death and year. I want to earn. I want them to earn their millions of dollars. Oh, well, I mean, sir, I think you can, I think it's self-evident

why they wouldn't want to appeal to your demographic. Yeah. It's just a bunch of rich guys in spandex prancing around for two hours straight. You've convinced me. I love sports now. Okay, remember. Let's see here. This is co-wind bra. I'm studying for a degree in CS. I thought it'd be this I thought I'd be safe in STEM, but they're wedging in shit about the cultural context of questions on IQ tests as it vaguely relates to AI. I'm going to lose marks if I don't accept the premise that IQ tests are racist. Very good. Have fun programming AI. There he is. There he is.

Odd guy. What's up, man? What's up, man? The fucking technology is driving me insane. Isn't it crazy? Discord, I can't figure it out at all. I'm like a fucking 90 year old man when it comes to fucking technology.

I can't figure anything out ever under any circumstances. I think the Ferries designed Discord to be so confusing that we would be less resistant to their degeneracies. Ferries designed Discord? Yes. Okay. I'll take that as a fact and move on.

No, it's actually true. There was a big controversy where you couldn't get banned for anything if you were a furry. Apparently all the admins were furries and there were a bunch of furry discords like posting child porn and shit. And if you complained about them, then the owners of Discord would ban you for complaining.

Whoa. Yeah, it's a fucked platform. Okay. Wait, it's fucking insanity. So what happened with encyclopedia Dramatic, uh, you said the the admin got arrested and he didn't give anyone the password. So now let me start where I left off last time Let's go on the show. What happened was we found out our owner of the site was stealing the site's money to buy heroin So a different owner of the site came in and stole

the site from him and kicked them out. So this new owner, he told us, listen, I'm a serious guy, I know what I'm doing. I'm a great admin. Well, about a year and a half later, the site crashes and turns out that our great owner never bothered to make a single backup for the site. He disappears and just does nothing. So a new guy comes in. Now the story with this new guy is that he's completely insane. And on a previous occasion, actually on several previous occasions, people on this site have tried to get him to leave and just go away. We were just constantly trolling him and trying to get him to fuck off. Who is it? What's his name?

Conrad. Conrad? Conrad. Oh no, I set him up with a new project too. Listen, that's not the end of the story. Listen, listen, you need to hear the depths of the insanity. OK, what have you done? So before he became the admin, we were constantly

fucking with him to get him to fuck off because he was clearly insane. But he's good at technology, he knows what he's doing. So the owner of the site was constantly telling us, listen, leave him alone, I need him to help me. No one listened to him and tried to kick him off, but then he got hit by a car and disappeared. So we felt like we won. He was gone for a few months.

Wait, really? He really got hit by a car? vapor. Yeah. And then he didn't. Yeah. He didn't have internet. Well, he was in the hospital. No, no, no, listen, yeah, he didn't have internet. He was in the hospital. And then the site crashes again. He comes back from the hospital. He tells us, listen, I'll run your site. Don't worry. I'm good with technology. Okay. He takes over the site, we accept it because at least he knows what he's doing sort of. Then one day he stops logging in for like three weeks. So one of our admins says, you know, he's been gone for a while. I mean, you know what I should do. The mic doesn't go. Go go go ahead. Go ahead. Listen, so he's

gone for a few weeks and more of our admins goes, you know what I should do? I should probably check the local jail houses near his home. And guess what? That's exactly where he was. Lo and behold, fucking jail. We're not, we're not sure what he's actually in jail for, by the way, it's a sealed indictment. So it's definitely a federal offense. so it's definitely a federal offense. But where? And the US? Yeah. But as we're trying to, as we're trying to figure out what he's actually guilty of this time, I keep trying to update, I keep posting on Twitter, listen, we found out what he's

guilty of, but every time it's a false positive, every time it is just a different crime that he committed. First, we thought he, listen, first we thought it was stolen valor, which he repeatedly insisted to us that he did not commit, even though we have court records proving that he did. Wait, is that illegal? Because I've been doing a shitload of that. I was just going to ask that. I steal valor now, left and right.

You got some valor? That's mine. I'm taking it. It's not a big, big fucking money bin that I got at home. Well, I guess if you got some valor it is mine. I'm taking it is that big by big fucking money bin Then I got it home. Well, I guess if you profit off of it or something got away with it somehow even though he was found guilty Okay, that's not what he's in jail for this time. So we keep looking then someone tells us oh he's in jail for forgery We're like, oh, okay forgery that makes sense But like that's just another other crime he committed. That wasn't it either.

Then we find another thing and I keep making the same mistake. I don't check if the indictment has been up there. Right. Falling for it and assuming that this is the new crime. No. This time, apparently, what happened was a few years ago, I know how long ago, he was working for some sort of tech company doing security for them and they fired him. So what he did, what he did was he hacked into their servers and crashed them to trick them

into hiring him again, which worked, but the government started realizing that he crashed their fucking servers and sued him. So he still don't know what he's in jail for this time, but his fucking track record, his fucking record of indictments is longer than fucking guessless. It's insane. Oh my God. Okay, so he's on new project too.

Yeah. Oh, hey, I, I welcome that. There's this, there's this like weird sentiment for some reason that if someone is guilty of a crime, they shouldn't be platformed. And I'm like, like in what universe does that make sense? No, that's my crime. He shouldn't be platformed because we're not going to get the fucking money from him.

Not that he needs money, he has his own money, he has his own money because he constantly needs more lawyers. But the new project too, we're not sure when he's getting back from jail. We're trying to fix the side right now, like two months from now, he's going to be back like, what do you guys do when I still have a site? You don't have to do this. So as far as I'm concerned right now, we have no idea where that money is going on the new project, maybe you should put a pause on that.

I don't interfere. I'm going to explore fees, which would be the exact same situation that we had with the last admin, listen, three out of the five admins of the general admins of this website have gone to jail. Yeah. Three up five, possibly four. I don't know about that. What? I'm not sure.

Did he actually commit the forgery then? Was that guilty or is that just what he's been indicted with? No, the forgery is something else. We don't know what he's indicted with at the moment. This is a fourth thing that he's being sued for. We don't know what is this time, not sure. It's some kind of curse running that side. I guess it's only the most deviant or three out of five

fucking admins went to jail, three out of five. What were the other two for? Or what were the other three for? The other two or was of course the one went to jail for heroin a number of times for drug abuse And also for beating his girlfriend Okay, he tried He tried to steal it's a it's an entire story He showed up in his other house and she was also one of the people who helped run our site and told her listen

I'm off the drugs, I promise. Which turns out he wasn't off the drugs. He was so hairy. Because he tried to steal her. Yeah. He wasn't off the drugs. He stole her credit card from a previous girlfriend. And that's why he was at her house.

And then when she wouldn't give him drug money, he attacked her. That's what he went to jail for again. And the admin before that went to jail for being a part of the hacker group, Lossack. Oh, what did they do? I remember that name. I don't remember what they did. I think they hacked like, what's it? Like one of those gaming platforms, like, like steam, I think they hacked steam. They haven't let anyone use it or something like that. Okay. Well, so one of the other admins was a member of that group. He helped us rebuild the site after it crashed and then he went to prison.

Oh, no. Okay. Was that all three? So that's all we have to find. There's another one that I don't know if he's ever been to jail. It wouldn't be surprised if he had been. Are you gonna let Null take it over? Are you gonna let Null take over?

No, no, no. No, no, I like Null, but everyone else on the site doesn't like Null, I don't know why. I'm friends with him. They get, I guess they think he's two gay runner website. We're restoring that right now. If anyone's interested, keep an eye out on Encyclopedia Dramatic of Dot Wiki and in like maybe two weeks,

I think they'll probably have it on having that cup. Okay. Dot Wiki. I love that the fun went immediately. We haven't heard from this guy for three weeks. Let's check the local jail houses. Like that's where, you know, and he's guilty of so many things

to give figure out what. So you don't know what he's currently in prison. As soon as he gets out of jail, he's gonna try to sue me for saying this on a fucking podcast because he constantly tried to sue people. Just every day he would threaten to sue someone else. We had to take, you can get sued again. I did say anything.

I don't need your podcast on it. Listen, we had to take our Twitter account away from him because he kept using it the threat to see Ratchem and Ricky But then the person we gave the account to spent four consecutive days Defending the death penalty and got us banned It's like you say we and I just picture Monsters I don't even picture I picture like a bunch of imps and demons and some kind of Venture brothers, our entire staff is fucking retarded, okay?

I don't know what to do. Every fucking person on the fucking staff is either a psychopath or has like three points of IQ. Why are you the only normal one then? What do you do? You got a bunch of heads in your basement or something? No, I never leave my house. I'm a fucking social reckless.

Oh, I see. Good for you. Under any circumstances, don't talk to anyone. The government is trying to kill me. Okay, that's a joke. But listen, I'm relatively normal compared to the other people on the site. Let me tell you just some stories for the forum

because I'm on the site for the forum. Every week something stupid happens. So let me tell you, let me tell you just some stories for the forum, because I'm on the site for the forum. Every week something stupid happens. So let me tell you, let me tell you the last few happenings from the forum before the site went down. Okay. So we're sitting on the forum where we're not doing anything. Suddenly a guy shows up.

He asks us to join him in his crusade to fight a Satanist cult. We quickly realized that the Satanist cult he's talking about is some sort of radio host who he has been pranking for like three years and putting videos of it on YouTube because he thinks this guy is a Satanist. Of course, instead of helping him, everyone on the forum begins to pretend

that they're also a part of a Satanist cult until he leaves. That's pretty low in movies. Another story. I'm wrapping these up. Each one of these is going to be better. Then about a month before the side goes down, someone shows up on a forum and tells us, listen, please help me vandalize this wiki. Sure.

Instead of helping him, we dox him. We realize that he's actually the admin of not only this wiki he's been banned from the wiki for being a complete lunatic, but he's the admin of a group of like 70 different wikis, all of which are completely useless. There was the good movie wiki, the bad movie wiki, the good game wiki, the bad game wiki, the good youtuber wiki, the bad youtuber wiki, and every single wiki has like seven articles about the good youtuber wiki the bad youtuber wiki and every single wiki has like seven articles about the people who won the wiki's so he got kicked out of the site for being a fucking lunatic and then we found his youtube channel where he had recorded

a freestyle diss track about the daily stormer. Okay. Anyways, the entire incident ends with his parents taking his computer away and making him get a job. Afterwards, all the guys on the, he was 21 living with his parents with no job. Okay. So we actually helped him, but after that, they decided to vandalize the WikiAstros to vandalize anyway just for fun.

Oh, boy. And then the final, my favorite occurrence that happened on this forum just before it went down. One of our user's mother was dying of a heroin overdose. Okay. So instead of calling an ambulance, he put a party hat on her and posted a picture on the forum. Wow. That's just a normal thing that happens on our site.

Unfortunately, I didn't get to see the picture because one of the other gay admins deleted it because he didn't find it as funny as I did. It's funny. It's pretty entertaining. Why did he have to do it? Good God. Clearly having fun. Yeah, the party had on.

She did the heroin. There was some glory for her to the party yet on. She did the heroin. Her friend, her son. To some, some glory. Nobody cared to the heroin. No? No, that's about as much of the call that I can take. Did they call 911 after the photo? So what would be the fun in that? They're just gonna take the heroin out of her.

Yeah, well, but she might do it again. Yeah, a bit of a downer, but she had for she she went out with a blast, you know, heroin and a party out of it. It's all unique for a fucking party. Yeah, those two things are already parting. Very good. That's true. If you go to your dealer, he will give you a party hat with every bag of with every

whatever measure. Absolutely. I have like seven of them just lying around. We have some really really quality people on the floor. I got one guy who got arrested three times for walking around his street in the Nazi costume in the Nazi uniform. And listen, he's not a Nazi. He's not a Nazi.

He's not a Nazi. That's just what he likes to wear when he goes out to buy milk. That's just what he was. And the rest of you, even though it's not a crime, it is not a crime. Where does he live? The milk in the Nazi uniform. Where does he live? Oh, I think he lives in Massachusetts.

Oh, man. That's the least it. That's the worst state to get arrested in with the Nazi uniform. I would, those two don't normally go together. Look, they are resting but that we're not committing a crime. Yeah, show me where in the rule book, where in the book of loss, it says that you can't wear a not to uniform when you know, you know, that book, I don't think it's more of a guide. That book

is more just a guide to the mind of the mass. Yeah, that's a good one. That's, these are normal occurrences on the forum. Listen, as soon as it's back up, I'm just gonna start showing up on your show every week to tell you what the fuck is going on this week. Every time something super happens. I love it.

I love jump here. It's insane. I'm just gonna shove it down your throat. Please do, invoice me for it. I win it, I love jump here. It's insane. Just gonna show it down your throat. Please do. Invoiced me for it. I win it. You and when are you and Nul gonna team up? You guys would be like a good internet buddy cop pair. You know what I mean? Once in a while when he's streaming on YouTube, I sit in his in his chat and harass him to try to get him to put me on, but he repeatedly refuses. Really? Oh. Yeah, he does not enjoy, you know, me coming on his show and calling him a Gentile and saying he's going to burn in hell.

Yeah. He does not, he probably wants to keep it to his show enough. Religious tenions to a minimum. He kicks me out mid sentence. He doesn't want to risk the goodwill that Trump has established with your home country of Israel. I think is probably what he's going to probably. I think I'd help him. You know, put it, put it, you want to stream, maybe it'll protect him. Josh says that he'll let you on when you're relevant. Lowell, he says that he checked right now.

Little bitch. You know, Oh, the breaking news through you mother fuck, you motherfucker. Kobe had information that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton. That would be twisted. That's what he tweeted right before he died. Oh, God. Wow. Okay. You got anything else, guy?

Thank you for calling me. I love it. I'm going to need to talk to you. Thanks. Go ahead. EncyclopediaDramatic.com.wiki. If you're keeping an eye on for that, we'll eventually have it up, hopefully. Not really sure what's going on. I'm not very good at technology. Okay.

I just they all the other admins have stopped talking to me because every time they add me to an admin chat, I tell them. It's boring and I don't care. And I just sleep so they just gave up. I just find people in jail. The second thing I need to plug is I promise someone I would the I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're

going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're again, Thomas Ripple, the shitty webcomic guy, okay, they know who I'm talking about. Everyone knows what I'm talking about. The guy who's constantly fighting with the comics, skate people. Okay.

Tom got it. Yeah, I got it. I gave Thomas Roy a lap. Is that his name? Exactly. Wow, everyone does what he's talking about. Nice plug. Yeah.

Oh my God. Johnson and we used to compete who has the worst webcomic criticism website. Johnson Brown, Josh, by the way, no, I see you in the in the chat. Do you have anything you want to say to Odd Guy? In the meantime, Johnson Brown has made a Lucy Wild rigged 3D avatar who can be in the place of a news babe where it can be mapped to your face. Oh, this thing nice So it's like a 3d model that we can you can talk as look at this model Sean look at this. Oh my goodness. Cool. Oh Mia my great great Great. I can't see just no one gave me the link. Oh, I'll post it. You can see it in chat. You posted it in there

That's you look at this Sorry, honey. you've been replaced. I'm never leaving. Oh my God, it told me Tanaka is doing VR porn now. I thought you were gonna say she'd died in a helicopter, actually. No, I would be bawling if that happened. I would be crying all over the desk if that happened. The way you say, oh my God, it told me Tanaka.

So she should imagine that. I could never beat, I like when porn stars just disappear. Yeah. Well, then I just imagine that they're still around looking that hot and they just, they just got bought by some. Imagine they, they're in the, in a farm, just running around with all the other hores. Like when you, what they tell you,

that farm is called by a state. It's called the Abu Dhabi. That's where all the hores retired too. And they finally get perched. They have an old horse home and the Abu Dhabi. I just love that they're so blatant about every once in a while. You'll see one of these Instagram horrors, not horrors, but you know, hot women, all of a sudden in Abu Dhabi, parading around in a yacht. Like, you're just really that comfortable with telling everybody you took 10 million dollars to get plowed by some Arabian friends? Okay, good for you Abu Dhabi,

it's such a great place to visit. No reason anyone was enticing you to there to ask fuck you for a million bucks. Good work if you can get it, but they're just, and you see it like clockwork that they really have for so many years. Wow, it's much better. It's much better when they disappear before the Abu Dhabi trip

because if they disappear after, then you gotta to go look From come for them at the bottom of the ocean. So I prefer they disappear before I see the Abu Dhabi pictures agreed Let me see if Josh uh Josh says he might end up in Israel Well, I'll fucking fight in my URL. Fight him fight in my URL and please tape it for us. Okay. I guy. Thank you Thank you. Thank you, get out of here. Okay, peace. Good to hear from you, man.

Good luck. Good luck with that den of snakes. No shit. Oh God, let me, there is the gun guy. Oh yeah, deterrence. Oh, don't do that, John, Johnson Brown, that's not funny. Let me see. What did you do? He said, Hitomi Tanaka said that she has information that could lead to the

erosophila that's not funny at all trapped daemon hey dick i caught the last show maybe it's my paranoia but to talk about methenadiral maybe think you were talking about me that's paranoia that is definitely paranoia i read that last email to you and i should have specified that I only felt bad For men's parents if they are concerned about their drug use again because I know some people have their lives ruined by that And again the only real connection is how the parents more men stuff. I'm willing to call it now blah blah

It's pulp still coming Very late, Sean. Very late. That's okay. We're good to the news, Evan. Fighting the wage gap, demon. She's doing her damnedest. Struggling with her.

Right. They're in the street. You sort of a bitch. The wage gap demon has unleashed all kinds of critters and demagogue, Dorgon's upon her. She's fucking using her feminist empowerment to blast them off with her raised, pow, pow, pow, exploding them. She's getting weaker by the moment. And then she's falling and all the wage gap creatures

are on top of her, but Hillary Clinton comes up out of nowhere and gives her a shot of Diasa Pam. It's a shot of female empowerment. Right into her veins, she goes, I disguise it into Diasa Pam bottles. So people don't know that this is the source of my concentrated vagina in this injectable syringe. Well, and then she grows powerful.

And her country knows no balance. There's a blast entire armies of wage gap monsters away from her. Good luck, News Bay. We're all pulling for you. And then Nancy Pelosi comes out for some reason. Grab one right in her back. Oh, we're all rooting for you to get to these wave gap monsters. And it looks just like Trump.

He's like, grabbing, grabbing, grabbing, grabbing, grabbing, grabbing, grabbing, grabbing, grabbing, grabbing, sucking out all other empowerment from them right tentacles are going out and going underground shooting up right up into women's snatches Exactly, where do I know you're going with that? Donald Trump I'm a man. I see with my legs on the other side of the universe the cosmic background radiation is my fucking pubic hair You can you can date the universe with my pubic. I will fucking destroy you. Oh, God.

When you said advice, oh yeah, okay. Oh yeah, okay. Let's get some funny fights. Fuggle mug, hey, dick, I'm a junior in high school and I'm really starting to get ready for college. A junior, wow. I didn't start getting ready for college, the very last minute. Probably the week before, right?

Yep. My dad has been pushing this, you should join the military to pay for college shit on me for a while. Wow. Wow. Talk about coerced consent. Yeah.

You should join the military. He was probably in the military, I'd. Yes. Maybe he's just cheap. I'll be honest. Yeah. I'm not a fit kid. Well, if you ever have kids, they're going straight to the military, aren't they?

I'll pay him for coffee. I'm going to develop a Scottish accent. And do all Scrooge mannerisms around all children so that when they see Scrooge for the first time, he reminds them of me. Yeah. Not the other way around. Yeah. Of course, me killed, so I'll start saying it all the time. Um, I play, I'm not a fit kid.

Uh-huh. Well, I don't know how we could, I don't know where we, where do we start? Deb. Well, I play video games where we start. Deb. Well, I play video games for most of the time. Yeah. I wouldn't consider myself remotely ready for the military. The military knows how to deal with that.

I'm pretty sure they got a system for everybody. Yeah. No matter how unfit you are or how much you like to play video games, they've got a plan for you. They're like Jenny Craig, but for everybody. Well, yeah, you get caught hiding donuts in your foot locker. You get to take that. Everybody has to do, yeah, everybody has to take your punishment

while you sit there and eat the jelly donut, and then you go crazy and then you shoot your fucking drill sergeant in the head. Everybody knows how this goes. Yeah. You've heard when Mike Hancho came in, if you're capable of dragging your balls all over your friend's face as you're ready, right?

Yeah. I mean, that sounded like the only qualification. My dad hasn't been, you need to join more. He's, it's easier than just going to college and taking debt. I'm considering going for an accounting degree, FYI. My dad got an accounting degree first. First thing you ever do when it's college got an accounting degree. Well, that's the most important thing you need to know about business, where your money

going. I'm saying, yeah, I probably already know the answer, but I'd like some advice from you. What do I do? Do I join and spend years enlisted just so I don't get fucked in college? Or do I get as many grants as I can and trudged through college? Well, that depends if you're white or not. I don't know if you can you really, I think it's slim pickings in the grant field if you're white man. I don't know.

Trying to be an accountant, that seems like something community college could do for you. Because how much, whether you're the most prestigious college in the world or the least, you learn the same amount of in the world or the least, you learn the same amount of accounting. I would, right? I would think so.

Controceivable, debts, credit, it seems like something, it seems like something you could do online to be honest, my friend, like a Khan Academy kind of thing. And I'll give you another curveball. Joining the military to pay for school would be the only reason I think to do it other than just you want an adventure in your life. I don't know. I life. I don't know. I guess. I don't know, man.

I would, unless you really want to join the military, I would stay away from the military. Yeah. It seems like a lot of time for the amount of money you're getting out of it. How much does anybody know how much a grant is, how much the military grants actually are that you pay, you probably lay that out against the minimum wage. I bet you could do, I bet you could get a better deal, just stay in home, working at Burger King or something like that. But the network is nice.

All those veterans love this, the reason I go to college is the friend network you get. And all the veterans seem very close knit. Like they always recommend each other for businesses and parking spaces and stuff like that. Yeah, sure. For parking spaces. I don't know, I honestly don't see you in that one. I don't think you can go wrong, to be honest. At least you got a reason that's better than most people have.

Okay, let me get this, let me get defense. Fug gun Control in here. Fug Gun Control, you there, man? What's up? Can you hear me? Yes, I can hear you, Sean, can you bump them up? Yes, sir. How's it going?

Good, so I got a, I saw you were banned recently. I got a 3D printer for Christmas, and I really want to build as many and the most illegal guns that I can. Nice. I was hoping you had some advice on that. I wanna talk about the 3D gun space as it is now. As you know, our former contact Cody Wilson

met with an ignominious end. Right. With the Texas State Troopers and underage. He's in jail. I think he got off by just having to pay the hooker a tip of $5,000. Oh, God. The court.

But he's lying low while he's toast. Yeah. He can never show his... Right. I mean, he can. I'd love to him to call in, but he's done in the in the gun. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. What do you want me to call you, man? By the way. You can call me Ivan. That works pretty well. Okay. So Ivan, what do you recommend as the way. You can call me Ivan. That works pretty well. Okay. So I then what do you recommend as the most illegal, most bad-ass gun I can currently print? What is the technology at? Like if you were trying to get the maximum number of your dogs shot

as easily as possible, it'd just be printing auto-series. Yes. That would get you. That would get you. Yes. So for AR-15s, there are popping enough rifles in America that there's multiple different ways that people have designed. So you can take a standard civilian legal AR-15 and add a part to it or add an assembly of parts to it that converts it to a full auto rifle. And the way that the regulatory scheme works is that item or it's part or that assembly of parts itself that is considered illegal and considered the machine gun. Right. But they're like stupid level simple to make at home to the point where like with you know 30 cents in plastic you can just print one out on your printer in 30 minutes and then

all your dogs have to live in fear. Of getting swatted by the police you know and this is what we saw. Right. Yeah. A lot of dogs are you know pretty cocky animals sometimes. I mean you got a little fear in the you know it's like that the police, you know, in this week's time. Right, yeah. A lot of dogs are, you know, pretty cocky animals sometimes. I mean, you got a little fear in the, you know, it's like you see your dad's belt hanging in the closet. Yeah.

So, you know, you think twice. Right. My friend of mine sent me what you're talking about. It looked like a, it looked like a bicycle wheel kind of, like it looked like a swastika with too many arms. Yeah, so that was one of them. a bicycle wheel kind of. It looked like a swastika with too many arms. Yeah, so that was one of them. So that one was put up on a thingiverse because thingiverse likes to take these sort of things down.

So people would disguise like the auto series because they look like bottle opener. So they'll call them bottle opener. Some of them even work as bottle openers. In fact, as well as being, you know, a felony. So let me explain. So it's the tops off a lot of dogs. So on thingiverse, the 3D printing like library,

we can go and download stuff and then print them out, because they ban the parts that turn your AR-15 into an automatic weapon, people now upload them and say it's like a Hindu piece. Sure, sure. So the question was, of course, that of course, bottle openers and shit like that. Okay, that's cool, but what if I want to do, what if I want to go bigger? Yeah, of course bottle openers and shit like that. Okay.

That's cool, but what if I want to do what if I want to go bigger? So so by bigger what exactly do you mean like the gun of Rambo? How big can you get out of a three? Oh geez. I don't know that there are any principal like a machine gun parts. Like if you wanted an M60, I don't think we're quite there yet. Yeah. If you wanted to print, you can you know an AR-15 lower and then print yourself an

auto-seer for it and get one of the commercially available belt-fed uppers that gets you close. What about... He has a lot of dogs. Yeah. I really need to get rid of the dogs in the neighborhood. What about the rifling? So can you talk about that? Because that's the cool new thing I've seen out of home gun printing. You mean because they were having trouble getting the rifling in a barrel? Well you had to buy it. That was the part that you still had to buy from a manufacturer. That's pretty damn important. Yeah.

Can you talk about how people are making them their garages now? Sure. So, I learned from a guy named Jeff Rod, who's been in the printed gun world far longer than I have, but he had experimented with this process known as electrochemical machining, which for the uninitiated is kind of like electrical plating so I can you can chrome plate something. It's just the opposite process of that. So if you have current run the opposite direction instead of taking chrome from a reservoir and putting it on metal, you're taking metal out of a piece of metal, you're machining metal away from it,

using electricity and putting that into a reservoir. So it just erodes, if you will, the barrel. And there's all sorts of big brain math stuff that goes on behind the scenes. Yeah. As far as the layman's concerned, you just run electricity from one end of a part to the other, and the shape of the part, so the shape of your electrode will be machined into your work piece. So how do you get the right rifling shape, though?

Like I understand. So it's the reverse of chrome plating where you send a current through and it strips the metal, but how do they get it? So the metal gets stripped off in the right spiral inside. So that's where like 30 printers come in as sort of like a godsend, because as far as the relative accuracies you need, 3D printers can hold those as far as the accuracy that you'd need for rifling, especially when it comes to twist, because that twist doesn't

have to be quite perfect. So you can print off a mandrel, is what we've called them on your 3D printer, and that mandrel has little grooves printed into it. And so then you can just take copper wire and press that down into your mandrel. The recommended technique is to use a soldering iron to heat up the metal, so it sort of fuses to the plastic. It becomes, you know, I can do permanent part. Okay.

Now has wire in the exact twist shape that you'll need. And you know, the twist profile is up to you. You can do twist gain rifling. You can do interrupted groove rifling. Pick how many grooves you want, that's how many grooves you can have in the barrel, based on the Manderlatch you print. So, that's fucking crazy.

Using that technique, you can, you know, we'll make your own custom Rifling Profiles with a $200 3D printer. Wow. So you can just go to Home Depot, pick up a pipe, like, is it, I mean, is it readily available at hardware store? Something that was hit as a barrel?

The barrel material, it can be, what we've been using so far is, we've been buying it from China, because China's, they're all gonna get sick and get stuff here. Yeah, we're all gonna get sick. But why do you buy from China? Is it that much cheaper?

It's a little bit cheaper as well as, it sort of proves the whole point of like it's unregulated worldwide. So if you can buy it from China, it ships anywhere. China will ship literally anywhere they don't care. Whereas it helps you base off of like standardized sizes because of course America has to be different in use imperial sizes. It helps people who are in places where you can't buy barrels if it's all metric size to begin with. Okay. Yeah, I see. So buy from China because it's good enough quality and it's readily available to everyone

worldwide. And the stuff we've been buying from China is just, it's sold over there is hydraulic tubing. So it's high strength pressure tested hydraulic tubing. Which is. And you mix that with Hindu peace symbols and you've got some action. I think we're up there. We've got some action going on.

I saw the ECM that they call it, the home rifling. I saw a video recently of a guy with a submerged tube and his garage and it's bubbling away. Wow. rifling out of barrel. Cause you know, obviously you don't wanna be, like have to buy an actual, obviously your stuck if the barrel itself is regulated, right?

But yeah, this is if the barrels homemade, then I'll be damned. Wow. Absolutely nothing stopping it now. That's wild, man. The whole European gun control scheme is based around the pressure bearing parts regulated because in America, we have it easy It's like frames and receivers and super simple stuff. So that that gives us lots of wiggle room and you're up You know, they're not so lucky

But you know we've defeated sort of like the core aspect of their gun control scheme in that it's really not that difficult or Expensive to make barrels using this process. Yeah, it doesn't sound like it What do you think's gonna what do you think's gonna happen in the 3D gun space in the future? of to make barrels using this process. Yeah, it doesn't sound like it. What do you think is going to happen in the 3D gun space in the future? Gosh, going forward, electrical chemical machining is going to be abused like crazy. Personally, I want to investigate locking actions. So you can do rifle caliber stuff using electrical chemical machining. Because, of course, what we've been doing now is mostly pistol caliber stuff, which

has its use, but it would be nice if we could also incorporate rifle caliber stuff which means you need blocking actions and all sorts of other concerns come into play but with an electric chemical machining I think that you could get really, really close to having an easy to make rifle caliber gun at home, you know, without, you know, through me, three, four hundred dollars in tools. Vom. Um, that's cool. What do you think Cody's coming back? By the way.

Oh boy, I mean, maybe eventually, I guess it's something you just have to wait and see. Yeah. God, he got fucked over. I can't believe that. It was a messy situation. Yeah, that, uh, you know, in the scheme of things, people have very, very short attention spans.

Yeah. But that's going to be his detractors. That is something that will always follow him around. And I guess people who are interested in him at all will just have to go, yeah, I care, or I don't really give a fuck. Yeah, I hope Yeah, I hope he starts talking again. He's good rider. He's really good at putting his thoughts here. Anyway, man, go ahead. Yeah, the most recent, like a court filing, you know, there's 21 state AGs that are now suing the feds about this upcoming rule change as far as regulations surrounding technical data related to firearms. Right. Specifically made mention of the fact that Cody is a self-professed anarchist and he's, you know, all these terrible things

and he's a convicted predator. Yeah, make sure that you know. These are the kind of people who have guns. It's the and credit in the movies. It's like, yeah, and special guests. Tettified. Right. Yeah.

What is this gun I'm looking at right now? There's purple one. It looks like a Decepticon gun. So that's the FTC9, which is, it's lineage dates back to a guy named Dürrwood designed a gun that he called the Shootie, which had a couple different variants. The Shootie, the way the Shootie is,

because if you guys are familiar with the Loody, is a submachine gun that a British guy designed, uses only hardware store parts But it's fairly difficult to build. It's a very interesting proof of concept as far as even in total gun band situations the hardware store Plung has all the parts you need for an SMG so Derwood named his gun shooty after the loody, but his gun used so it's essentially the same gun that you're looking at there like minor His gun use so it's essentially the same gun that you're looking at there like minor minor like ergonomic differences But his gun use relied on like a factory block barrel factory black magazines

So as far as the US build goes, you know, there's no issue to it It looks like an ooze you're up. It's true. All right. This looks like an oozey. Is it what is it a automatic handgun? What is this thing so by technical definition? It's somewhere between a pistol and a carbine. Okay. You can call it a pistol caliber carbine, but then there'll be people who can play in because it's only got a four and a half inch barrel in the current standard version. So, you know, there's a lot of contention about what best to call it, but it sort of fills a role between a pistol and a carbine. It's a close-bulb, direct blowback, nine millimeter, hammer fired. It's about as simple as you can possibly get

a reliable semi-automatic gun working. Because that was the beauty of Derwood's shooty was it's a very, very simple system in that it removes the need for an extractor and the ejector is extremely simple. The ejector is just printed. So it removes some of that need for what's traditionally a metal part in guns.

Hmm. And so my buddy, Chase Stark, took up Dirtzhe, and he, of course, as many know, he's based in the EU during his stuff. So he had picked up the shooting and decided, this is a great platform to make a gun that has, you know, zero gun parts, you know, gun parts and air quotes. Yeah. So so he took the AP 9 and adapted the assembly so that it could rely on a homemade barrel and a homemade magazine. So I had gone through the pain and

drama of making 3D printable clock mags over the course of like five months. It was a great fun project. Magazines are easy to underestimate the complexity of but they're incredibly complex devices. But got that figured out and then I went and tackled the design for the barrel, and Jay Stark handled the design like the whole assembly to hold everything together and update Derwood's dimensions to make it so it's very easy to point. You cannot, how can you, you hear, do you hear the amount of knowledge that he has, Sean? Yeah. Just the, for all the moms out there, you can't stop.

No. And that stopped this. No matter. It doesn't matter how many laws you pass, and you can't, you can't stop. No, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how many laws you pass, and you can't stop that in the brain. Well, when technology allows for something that wasn't possible to do before, like at home or in a smaller place of business, like the people like this are going to use it

for what they want to do. Like you can't ever, you know, you can't stop it. It's not a, not a question of how it's never and you can't, you just can't stop it. Well, shit, man, it's, you're well over my head with all the gun knowledge. I love the way it looks though. Can you, can you do me a favor and get the gun people to stop complaining about the difference between magazines and clips? I don't know, because sometimes I've learned on their side of the field, but it's like, because I kind of enjoy like like ratios on Twitter, right? It's like the funniest thing ever.

And it's hilarious when someone makes the point to use mag instead of clip. Uh-huh. It's just when someone makes the point, they use mag instead of clip. Uh-huh. They just get cracked on to it. Throw it all off. Yeah. I'm trying to make it so that people don't get corrected by the gun people as much, because really, it's a real good way to make somebody hate you forever. It's to correct their grammar over like magazine and clip like, oh, well, now I'm anti-gun.

How do you like that? Now I'm just gonna go vote, vote no. It's strange though, because it's like, like with the salt rifle, it's like an arbitrary definition that was never exactly laid out in stone. Like the term originated somewhere, but it was never like written down

as this is exactly what it means. Right. Like the Magvars' clip thing was, and so that I think that's where a lot of people get off the rails there is. Like there's a set definition for what is the Mag and's clip thing was, and so that I think that's where a lot of people get off the rails there is. Like there's a set definition for what is the Mag and what is a clip, and that's not interchangeable in that manner. Yeah, no, I understand it. I appreciate what you're doing, and thank you for calling in.

I hope you don't get to, I hope they don't find a way to arrest you. But stay away from grossed... Stay away from gross. Stay away from dating sites on the internet. Yeah, just, yeah. Girls are gross. Yeah, they're gross. There we go. All right, man, have a good one.

I didn't, oh, wait, plug your site and everything. No, geez, so we've got like an open chat server on Keybase. That's then it's named DET underscore DISP, which I think is the second or third largest team on Keybase, which's then it's named DET underscore DISP, which I think is the second or third largest team on Keybase, which is kind of cool. Essentially just a bunch of people ask questions, lend help, crap on people who are acting stupid and people who are obviously working for the federal government.

Yeah. Big people who shop like, would someone mind printing me an auto seer, making guns and the background? You're playing with guns on the background. I mean, yeah, a little bit, but I'm surrounded by them. It's like my OCD toys just mess around. Yeah, it's like the fidget spinner. You know, I got it.

With guns. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, we got that server on Keybase, and then I've got my site, which is like, I guess if you just Google Ive in the troll, it's like the first or second result. I've in the team. That's just where we host the goodies. Okay, man.

I'll do it. I'm gonna start printing some of this shit right away. Do it. I'm gonna have a whole arm small over here. Thanks, buddy. Have a good one. Yeah, you too. Buh-buh.

Is our news girl close? She's not close. Of course. Is she coming? She says she's coming. When? Do she have an ETA? So and then IEI IEI. Let's listen to Chris's poetry. Yeah, let's do it. Between one and one 30. Right. This is Chris the Kiwi's poetry corner. This was a bumper written by L.A. Arson. Let me get his plug here. He wanted me to use it.

If you use it, my only ask is that you give a shout out to our latest album, L.A.Arson.bandcamp.com slash albums. It's Dusk and Carnit. I imagine if you search for Dusk and Carnit with L.A.Arson, E.L.A.Y. R.S. They opened Vegas, right? They did. They were great. They were great. Yeah. He liked those guys. Those guys were cool.

Here is Chris's Kiwi Corner, the bumper. Taken off the witch ship. It's a Kiwi Corner, corner, corner. The Kiwi Corner. Brought to you by the Dick show. There you go. Wonderful. Great.

Thank you for that. Okay. Now let's load up this. Now let's load up his videos. I believe this one is called, this is me being a comedy vampire again and sucking away. Well you negotiated with him though. We're not going to negotiate it hard though. Yeah.

I know. He didn't get what he deserved. He got what I was willing to pay him. And for some reason, he's thinking of fucking understand that. Yeah. Gabor, Gabor Ham sandwich, you ever heard of that guy? Yeah, I mean, you've mentioned it. Yeah, he did burn court.

He started a podcast, burn court. We tried to get people to argue it out. He, I wondered in there to see what was going on. And just mine and my own business. And I see any, he says, he goes, oh yeah, I already told Dick off for being such a, whatever I'm being, taking advantage of people.

I'm like, I'm like Harvey Weinstein of podcasting. Like I'm stringing these fucking comedians along and then not give it and then fucking them out of their hilarious material. You just happened to be in there? Yeah, I do. I go like, you know, I get bored and like, yeah, what's he was going on?

Okay, I seem to be, oh, yeah. I already told Dick I was here. Wait, where did you tell me off? And they sent me a tweet. And it was, it was, he was pissed at me because Hazen Cruz sent me bits. After I said I wasn't gonna pay, he sent me the bits and I played them.

Yeah. And this was somehow a fuck me. So my correct answer to this more, to Gabraham Sandwich was to not play the bits. Yeah. Because I already said I wasn't gonna pay for them. I can't wait for the video expose of how I take advantage of massive desperation and put it to use for comedy.

I can't fucking wait for that. Okay, here we go. Speaking of which, I believe this one is called... I grabbed the butt cheek. No, he's titled them specifically for people. Oh, these are two specific people. Well, they have titles. Oh, I think this one is called Peach in the Rose Garden. Oh, good God. By Christ the Kiwi. Okay, here we go. If it's not all, I'll stop it and find the right one. Jesus Christ. All right, Sean, are you ready for this incredible adventure into the Kiwi So, here we go. Studio is called Peach in the Rose Garden. I beg your pardon.

I'll never promise Peach a rose garden. So he's just a look up into the sunshine. I throw Peach into the horizon. peach into the horizon. Her bottom turns around and lands on the rose garden. She goes, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I beg your pardon. My ass fell on the rose garden. It just steals off. It steals off. Yeah, I come up to the rose garden, which is full of thorns. I come up with my first day kit and I look down there. She is full of despair. My first day kit is empty and I leave her there and I call the ambulance and I take you to the mental hospital. I've done my deed for today. Peaches so gay. This poem is called, what did you think? I think you are fucking him out of money. I think you should be fucking ashamed of yourself, whittling

him down to 40 bucks. That was only one of three. I know. You're stealing. Okay, you're still. I know you're stealing. Okay, you're still. Dr. Rachel the loser. Dr. Rachel is a loser. She has a high death rate for patients. She would be an ideal person for TV bluepers. It would be a label, wouldn't it? Rachel drinks soy all day.

This is why she spares us out in the closet as a result of her choice. Bridges or cut-soup pay. Dr Rachel has no pussy. This is why she has many at her home. She pretends to be a lesbian. This is why she is all alone. Rachel is becoming an old woman. She gets no dick because she has no pussy. A feather

duster on her fate breasts does the trick. This poem, okay, that was a little, didn't quite have the same punches the first one. See now you know I whittled him down so hard. Here you go, who's the last one? This poem is called Hannah Marie Morris. Oh, Hannah, who I came across has beautiful raven here, came out of the blue from a place called California. She likes jujokes, so I can tell them to her. She bakes me bagels in her oven with smoke pouring out so that I choke.

So Hannah changes her mind. Hannah makes me lasagna. I say to her, are there Jews in Italy of your kind? All right. The next day Hannah dresses in a beautiful white dress. We both go to the park. We both drink wine and I give her a gentle crest. her a gentle crest, then she puts a glass underneath her foot and breaks it. Like a wedding? Like a wedding? It's an exception of all Jews I've come across, perhaps a fatal attraction or forbidden fruit. But what ever happens, she is the boss.

I get a smile, I get a smile, I get a smile. Yeah, I saw his promise once again. She is the boss. She is the boss. What a great poem. Wow. Thank you, Kiwi. Thank you.

Well done. You really fucked him on that one. Let's see, I've got a hot girls for Bernie. Hashtag. Have you seen this? No. It's, it's an interesting, it's very interesting. It's a new weight loss program.

Where after you eat, you go search for the hashtag hot girls, hot girls for Bernie. Okay. And then you vomit up all your food. Oh. Shed pounds just like that. Oh. Okay. Uh, uh, uh, let me pull up some of these from these monsters. It is, it is hippos from Fantasia for Bernie.

Hot, hot hippos from the movie Fantasia. Let's see if I can get some of these up here. All right. Yeah, open this up. Open that up. Why not? What's the worst that could happen? What's the... Wow! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Hot girls! Can you imagine if you were running for president? And this was your claim to fame? Hot girls for board! Let me get the video up here. God damn it. Why did this video get all fucked up? Yeah, there we go, there we go, there we go.

We've got a succubus, ostensibly here, or perhaps a cow. Just, I don't know what those horns on her head or horns means. Her tits are about the size of the front end of a Buick. And again, this is like to airbags. Yeah. It gets no more appetizing the further grumpy or a grimace stretched across her face that that you wouldn't want to see during war. And then the other one she's looking for this is hot girls for Bernie shan this is taking a tour of hot girls for Bernie who say

hot girls how big is this site how big is this the hat countered i know but all over twitter some some replies were hidden by this author don't know why that would be here's another hot girl they're electing to do this yeah they're electing to show their support as hot girls by posting this shit online. Yeah, nothing says hot, like kicking back a lawn dart and popping open a tall boy in the middle of the afternoon.

This is a hot girl for Bernie. Hot girls for Bernie, let's try another one. Maybe we'll have better luck. Better luck on the next one, let's try another one. Maybe we'll have better luck. Better luck on the next one, let's see here. Something tells me no. Hot girls for Bernie. Oh wow, maybe missed the point of it on that one. I don't know, here's another hot girl for Bernie.

Oh my, oh my, oh my, Oh, my, oh, my heart. If you understand, I think they understand physicality about as well as they understand economics is all I'm saying. It's the reduction of hot from something that you strive for into something that's just for everybody. The distribution of it, let's find another hot girl for Bernie. What do you think about, oh, this girl is giving us,

that's a sultry smile. Who was that? Okay, hot girl for Bernie. They want Medicare for all. If you listen very closely, you can hear their hearts in Morse code tapping out an SOS message for you. Have you heard of the million man march? This is the million pound march for Bernie that they're putting together.

These fat jokes do anything. anything. This is a hashtag to consult if you're new in town and you want to know where the nearest hometown buffet is. Anywhere in the world, three miles from you, anywhere in the world. Oh my, this is a sexy pout. Hot girls for bread. Sort of like half-ass duck face, is that still a thing? This is the first time she's ever done a duck face. That's why it looks like that. Oh, let's see what else I got here. It's the Dregs. Oh, oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no. Okay, girls, does this make you want to vote Bernie? No. Yeah, are you in the, are you burning yet? Sean, no.

Not burning if you're burning. All right, let's see what else I got. Yeah, there's no way. There's no fucking what, no, fucker. We'll just do voicemails. Unreal. Next week. Yeah, next week.

Yeah, that's fucking deep. She probably got stopper meth dealer too. Yeah, probably. But you know, out there in Kastik. Last week she couldn't come because she had a, she had a PTS, PTSD meltdown. Really? Yeah. That apparently you can't use a fucking phone during. I don't know. I don't have a lot of PST, PTSD, whatever it is, but apparently it prevents

you from using anything electronic. If you touch it, it'll destroy the electronics inside. Though that actually that happens a lot. that happens a lot. That happens a lot. Yeah, yeah. To do that or ghost do it. Did it do to the big show presents? Evotic stories from real men.

I got some news. Maybe I could just, you could read the news, your news, babe. Let's save it for a news, babe. Okay. I don't know if they're, this one's about glaciers though. You think global warming will still be a hot topic next week? Yeah, what you think so. Yeah.

Let's see. This one's about racial tensions. Do you think we'll still have racial tensions next week? I think that'll still be... Yeah. I'm guessing for the foreseeable future, those things will be topics. Okay, hey, Dick, I wanted to write in and tell you about an experience for my college days.

It was a final week of my freshman year. I was 19, so was my friend Sarah, who lived in the dorm next door. Sarah was a tall, beautiful redhead with perky, sea cup tits, a small round ass and a kind of thigh gap that could make any man faint. That's hot though, come on. all round Asuna, kind of thigh gap that could make any man faint. Hmm. That's hot though, come on. Yeah, but have you ever fainting?

Fainting? No. That bitch is, oh man, that bitch is asus, so tight it made me want to faint. I learned to faint right in the floor. Yeah. I was getting the fucking feeling like fainting is not what I'm thinking of. Oh man, I got a, this blow job was so good, I almost fainted.

Bitch, bitch, if you keep sucking like that, I'm gonna fainte. You ever heard that? No. A perfect dancers body. She also had permanent resting bitch face, which I find very hot. Me too.

I have such a big problem causing women so much pleasure that they always look happy that I have to remind them, like don't look like you're enjoying it. I fucking hate, I can't stand it. Well, don't you just talk to them? I've tried, I've tried everything. They're talking, the talking just makes me upset. No.

If you can believe it. I had known Sarah since middle school, we had a couple of false starts and nothing had ever really developed between us. By college college I resigned myself to being a platonic friend. We had dinner together frequently and she'd call me over to her room every once in a while usually to fix her laptop. Give her a back massage. What the. Oh my god.

Anyway it was move out week and her roommate had left early. It was evening and I received a message over her, I received a message from her on aim saying, hey, can you come over? I wanna show you something. I walked over and she let me in. She took me to her room and closed the door. She then went over to her refrigerator

and pulled out a nearly full bottle of Yeager Meister. My roommate left this. She said fucking college. Yeah. I don't think I've ever drank Yeager after college. After that age, right? My roommate left this. So they banned vapes but not Yeager Meister.

Right. Who the fuck's drinking it? Right. You see a guy roll, a 45 year old guy roll up to the bar? I get just a glass of yagor for me personally. I like drinking candy, alcoholic candy, blah, blah, licorice, fucking associated with every bad time I've ever had in my life.

Line him up, right? Let me take a nice sipping yagor. My roommate left this, she said, want to help me drink it? I looked into her bright green eyes and said, without any hesitation at all, no thanks. I don't really like alcohol. She paused for a moment and put the bottle back in the fridge.

Yeah, me neither. At that time, I was so convinced that nothing could ever happen between us. And I let a perfect situation slip through my hands without even realizing it. This incident will haunt me for the rest of my life. I'm sending you this story as a cautionary tale for your younger listeners. Don't ever assume, you know what a girl thinks about you. She's certainly a stupid fucking idiot P.S. I ended up banging her sister a few years later, so there you go

Well terrible absolutely terrible invoice dick masterson in boys P.O. Box What else if I have here before we do voice mails really is a cautionary tale. Yes, it is. Good Lord giving her massages. You want to see what a feminist, a feminist majority foundation parking lot looks like? Yeah, I do.

I really do. Somebody sent this to me. Let me see if I could find it. I can't fucking believe it. Chick flaked again. Ah, fuck and get it together. Like that's, like she goes through life like this. I know.

And it probably pretty much works out for her. It doesn't. No, no, you just skim on the bottom. Skim on the fucking bottom living from crisis to that's why I got my grandchicks like every hot chick, but they get shit done for them. They are, they get the bear minimum done for them. They are all one. They're all one one simple away from total destruction. No, that's her leasing their place. Leaping from one simple simple.

They live in sheer panic. That's the difference between animals that live between starvation and the next meal and women is very small. Yeah, my dad used to date them or marry them. Yes, they're waiting. Yeah, that was bad. Yeah, yeah. Then they could live.

So an animal will find a big fine. They could eat it,. Then they could live, so an animal will find a big fine. They could eat it, live for three days. Well, a woman will find a big fine. They could live for a couple of years. Same principle. The feminist majority foundation, this is a, it's a shot of their parking lot, showing you might find this amusing.

You'll see, here it is. You'll see here here it is. You'll see here over the line. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha in the one in front of it. This car has decided to see who can park further away than the car next to it. And as a car length and a half, this car here is on the wrong side. It is a parking lot with one side of spaces. They have parked on the opposite side. Yes, we just are to the other side. Then sealing the rest of the parking lot off forever. That's incredible. And then nothing but blank spaces beyond them because they have they have destroyed it effectively. Well done. There you go. Unbelievable. The feminist majority foundation. Good job, ladies. Hang in there. Let me see if I have any other women's

centric things. I'll bet you do. I buy usually do. Usually do. No, no, this one is. Research has found that 80% of Gen Z and millennials believe global warming is a major threat to human life on Earth as we know. They also believe that state and local government should be doing something about it in the absence of a federal government action, the full found that if 58% of respondents agreed with the statement, we are amidst a climate crisis.

And drastic times call for bold measures, such as the need for the US government to repair and upgrade the energy infrastructure, blah, blah, blah utilities, developer, and require businesses to become carbon-free in the next 20 to 30 years. The reason I found this funny is that in the middle of the article, you know how it sometimes

recommend other articles, recommend the articles. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. You recommended article that was linked in the middle of this one, 80% of the, we need to dump more money into renewable art, infrastructure was more than, here was the title next one, more than 50% of African Americans are very concerned

about paying for basic necessities. That was the article they linked. That was the one that the computer recommended as a recommended article to like a related article. Like a related article probably just for the percentages or concerns or something like that. I just found a humorous that we got 80% of white privilege kids thinking that the sky is falling, thinking that we need to build new buildings out of solar panel. And in the same paragraph, you've got half of black people are worried

about the basic necessities. Great fucking system, guys. Yeah. Why don't you read your own fucking articles as you, it's called perspective. Yeah. Okay, let's do, good God. I don't know what else to say. That's funny.

Got some advice. Mason Stegan says two things now. First, the result of your advice to get on the train or find new friends. The guy wrote us a while ago said he didn't know what to do. His friends were drinking, he didn't know what to do. Oh, I ended up drinking for the first time in early July. I loved it.

And asked your advice for what to drink on my birthday. We're ended up blacking out. Good for you. I bought the wild turkey and I've had yet to have another bottle before the end of the year. I bought the wild turkey and I've had to get another bottle before the end of the year. That's how he said, I've yet to have, or to get another bottle. Young man's rocking along at four bottles of liquor a year.

That's the pace. That's not a bad pace, my friend. Try to keep it at that. Yeah, yeah. I had my first public appearance with alcohol at a bowling alley two weeks ago and everything feels like it's manageable. No, all right.

Coming out, oh, Jesus Christ, everything feels like it's manageable now. On to the advice I seek now. A friend of mine has got this girlfriend. Oh, the look. She's up with you, sir. A friend of mine has got his girlfriend who hooks him up with marijuana and edibles. Yeah.

I want to try it, but I've heard before that it can affect the capacity for creating memories. I value my memory a lot. Do you think it's at risk if I use marijuana or have I already fucked it up with alcohol? I think I used to be like this man. Yeah, those aren't things to be concerned about. I used to be really. I mean, like, not gets there's bigger concerns, you know. I used to think that having a drink of alcohol would like kill your brain cells like a video game and that you would just slowly stoopify yourself.

I don't know why I think that brain cells don't regenerate or anything. I mean, it's even without the new science that idea is preposterous and retarded. And I don't know why I was stuck with such a fear of that. It was maybe I was just inventing it because I was afraid of drinking period, which is fine. Yeah. Actually, I think that is why you just invent your nervous about doing something new with your friends. You don't want to get into drugs. You invent these insane reasons. Like it'll mess with my memories. I mean, I understand that like you want, you know, you want your brain to work when you want it to work. But you also want to have your cake and eat it too. So you want to, you

know, have a little friend. I want, yeah, I want to blow this shit off. But then I want when I'm sober, I want it to work perfectly. You're like, worry that it might not work perfectly. Yeah, I feel for you. Try to, it will mess up your memory. Go with that. I mean, sure, if you, yeah. Just don't do it every day. Right, right.

Just don't do it every day. Yeah. Here's from Tom, been meaning to write this for a while. Last month, I left my job working 80 plus hours a week on a commuter ferry to work on my business. Wow. Full business. Wow. Full time. Wow, that's a lot of hours.

I had finally negotiated a retainer deal that more than replaces my income from the boat. It was great having time back, but I hadn't realized how much of my sense of value came from the daily routine of work. Yeah. At the end of the first week in my office, you just replace that with masturbating. Set yourself up a good jerking off schedule. There you go. No one can never take that away from you.

Economy goes down. You can still jerk off. Yep. At the end of the first week, you be as successful as you want. You can still find time to jerk off. How about that? At the end of the first week of my office,

I was watching celebrity entrepreneur. If you're so smart, why aren't you jerking off? I was watching celebrity entrepreneur. If you're so smart, why aren't you jerking off? I was watching celebrity entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuk, famous for championing the 18 hour work days, seven days a week when I can go through my to-do list in eight or 10 fewer hours, I feel pretty inadequate in comparison. Those celebrity entrepreneurs seem to only be,

seem to have the unique skill of being able to promote themselves as entrepreneurs. Yes. All of their advice is so either generalized or asinine that I don't understand any of it. Do you know what I mean? Like I cannot apply any of it except for very basic principles, which everyone should already know. They just seem to be able to glitz you with numbers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, and charisma. Four hour work week, is that the one? I don't know. Four day work week, like, yeah, okay. And that'd be nice. I just know the seven minute abs. Seven minute abs, right? Got me. Yeah.

I'm 26, along with my older brother and sister in law, still live at home. I have very little saved with student loans and business operations taking priority over retirement and housing is extremely expensive here in Massachusetts. My parents are 16 and 61, not that old in reality. Yeah. But there's a lot I want for them before it's too late.

Huh. I remember thinking about my parents and wanting things for them before it's too late. Huh. I remember thinking about my parents in wanting things for them. When I was younger, that goes away. You realize they knew more than you. I feel like that's something you think because you think you know more than them and then you realize that.

I know way more than me. I don't need to worry about shit for them. I want them to have grandkids and the health to enjoy them for a long time. I'm the youngest of three brothers so I would take the least responsibility for them. I want them to have grandkids and the health to enjoy them for a long time. I'm the youngest of three brothers, so I would take the least responsibility for this. Not that I wouldn't like kids one day. More pressing and specific to me is making sure they know I'll be okay in general. You may or may not be able to. I worry about his parents a lot. Yeah, I'm on the autism spectrum. Oh, well, okay. I don't think it impairs me in any significant

way today, but it made for a socially awkward K through 12 experience. I believe it. And short, do you yourself ever experience a mid-20s crisis? Your entire 20s are a crisis. Yeah, you could have something like that where you're like, wow, I'm not a kid anymore. Like, I'm legally well into, you know, being considered an adult in every way.

Would you say the solution is more in line with Gary Van Eyertschucks with his hashtag hustle? No solution ever is in a hashtag. And isolation is lifestyle or is there still time to explore new places and activities for a more well-rounded life. I'm terrified of the thought of turning 30 without feeling I truly got to experience my 20s. Oh, man. Isolationist lifestyle. Let me guess, this is some fucking guy who's saying, like put your head down and burn through your 20s.

Like you're in a prison who is. Oh, that's a guy who is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, you have no fucking idea what will make you money. No idea. No matter what you do, do it as hard as you can with a goal in mind and eventually, eventually, the skills and the experiences you have in these widely different fields will compound into something, a tower of your success

that is leashed together with drunken stories, with tumbling towers, with volumes of books you haven't read but meant to, with good intentions that will eventually become cohesive enough for you to stand on top of. And that is, that is the, if anybody tells you it happens differently than that, they're fucking lying. Nobody set out to do it one way and got there only following that path. It only matters that you never fucking quit

and that you accept what is happening as reality because it is. When you start arguing with people over what you deserve to get, that is the end of your journey. That is where you deviate from reality and go into delusion. And nothing is built on that.

That is all your imagination. The only thing you can do is do everything you wanna do as hard as possible. Keep track of it in your mind. Keep track of the lessons you've learned from. I don't care if you want to, I don't care if you become a chef. I don't care if you start rustling fucking cattle. I don't care if you start launching apps left and right.

I don't care if you become a famous DJ in Germany. You will get something for that. You will get a brick, something, you will get something you can pile like the Beverly Hillbillies on top, on that little space in the world that is you, where you can eventually stand on top of and say, I fucking see something over there and I'm going to go get it. Yeah. With all that to draw from. Yeah.

It's weird. You don't know that in your 20s, but that's the way it pans out. I think what you say is exactly correct. And it could be something like, I'm gonna be a chef. I'm gonna do this. I'm going to do culinary school, all that kind of stuff. And you end up,

real either realizing not making it, or you realize that you don't wanna be a chef, but somehow you get involved with like crime, distribution, I don't mean something. all chefs are drug dealers. Tomatoes. Yeah. Something like that. And you go, I mean, you know, and you make a fucking mint like you, it's and then it gets stolen. You never got to do something else. You never know. Yeah, you never know what little adjacent avenues you're going to go down by starting

something that you want to do. It will always be adjacent. I know. I know. It will never be where you am. It seems like it. It seems like it. And the only thing you can do is not people get stuck with. It's feeling that failure in their gut forever.

Yeah. Oh, I got robbed. Yeah. Oh, my partner fucked my love of my life. I'm never going gonna get over this Just push it aside, bottle it up turn it into something you can build your fucking house with What are those? What are those ant those birds that build their nest at a little pieces of trash? Oh, they're in Australia I think yeah, yeah, they go like take like little fucking toy cars and all kinds of shit. Yeah, there you go

I don't know Tom. I hope that mirrors and yeah. Then don't worry so much about your parents. That's all they've been doing for their whole life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, I'm pissed at that news girl. Man, I'm pissed. Oh, man, okay, here's one. This is not a funny one. Hey, Dick and Sean, sorry, this isn't very funny.

This is from a fan rightsist. My wife, Jenna, and I have been fans of you guys since the early days, the biggest problem. She emailed Dick back in March or April of 2018 fan rights is my wife Jenna and I have been fans of you guys since the early days the biggest problem. She emailed Dick back in March or April of 2018 to give me a shout out for joining the Air Force. I remember that. Remember that. Which you did and was the coolest thing a woman had ever done for me.

I had a good one for sure. We were in a car accident just after Christmas and unfortunately she didn't make it. Wow. Whoa. I don't wanna make this way long or anything, but basically I was hoping you could do me a favor and share my go-fun me. Money's going to be tight for a while since I broke my back and femur.

Holy shit. And the accident, and I no longer have her income to help with the bills. Buddy, that is fucking terrible. There's more info on the GoFundMe page, but if you want to know anything else, just let me know. GoFundMe.com slash Monet family, like the artist, Monet family, not Manet, right?

And if you'd rather not share it no big deal, I still love you and Sean and looking forward to catching up on all the episodes. I've missed while doped up and in the hospital. Thanks, buddy, and go fuck yourself. Derek, Mona, take a Monae family. Go fuck me, I'll post a link to it. Fucking harsh reality for some people, man.

Like that's, then you get one of those you build new business everything's fine Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, let me find what is that them? Oh No, is that them oh she's beautiful Kid terrible that makes it worse You see what I mean about the million dollars? The million dollars, but the Patreon. Yes. It's got a lot of stuff attached to it. Yeah, it does doesn't it every every month Can anybody help me out with this song I haven't played before I had a list You checked it twice

Very good then you found out you F**ked it all up. Hahaha. I think you fucked things up less when you're not 20 anymore. It's you just really want to fuck things up when you want you really want to fuck things up with you too. And it kind of drops.

Yeah, off slowly. I'll just play the regular theme song then. Everybody's just afraid it. Ha ha ha. I can't wait to gave up. I fucking trusted Reddit. And we heard them all already. There's been the Dixiel, page,

on .com slash the Dixiel. Dixiel, Dixiel, so you can excuse it. Presenting. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. I can't believe that Lucy Wilde 3D model that Johnson Brown made.

Oh, look at that. That is wild man hey dick uh... second i love and uh... you know make me a rage women who talk about how they almost got into a car accident yeah like oh hey uh... a baby you know how close to where to having a briefed up with what a pal throw uh... we were at the land

like no you didn't almost get into a car accident. You either did or you did not. Like I don't give a shit if you almost did and like they're all shaking up, like bitch, shut the fuck up. Oh my God, you almost get to a car accident like twice a week. Hmm.

I think you gotta keep you primed. Primed to sacrifice something for them. Oh, it could have. did you just letting you know, did you have a plan in case I did get a car accident? Did you have a plan? And you're bringing that to the system work. I go out, fuck off, mess things up, and then come to you, and you gotta fix it.

So I was just letting you know, that's something I'm, that's just a hobby of mine. Just keep that in the forefront of your mind. Don't put it on the back burner too far. I don't know about other girls. Me, I like to get in car accidents. I like to drive recklessly. I like to put on makeup, smoke weed in the car.

I have an entire bong that I pack while some drive. So just letting you know as my man, that's going to be something I expect from you is to assist in any way, which of course could be anything. I might be, I might run through a pack of kids. I might smash into a pack of kids. I might smash into a light pole, but get ready.

Get ready. Right after this last thing that you read with the wife making it and the chan. No one made that connection except for you. It's because I'm sick. Here's the, oh god, I didn't even think about it. How insensitive. Here's the after of that.

Like I called in right away again oh my god i leave that last week about women complaining that they almost got a car accident and i'm eating the afterwards my fucking girlfriend called me about how she almost got it another car accident but the common denominator of all the people in the situation is you but can pay attention while you're driving It's not driving with their own areas. I just have a good God like we got we got a pack of legislation to ban

women with dogs for having drivers like The only way we can ban women All right, there you go Funny All right, there you go. Funny. I feel bad that I brought that. No, it was. What? You did this to me. Yeah, I know.

I know. Hey, Dick, you know what makes me a rage? It's the pervasive, incessant need for all these companies to shove touch screens in places where they don't belong. But my parents have this high end, really top of the lying car, and every functionality has been outsourced by the touch screen. If you want to turn on each or the AC, you have to dig through menu buttons. I know.

Now, you need the tactile surface. So you know what the I hate it. It's an $89 car and there is touch screen lagging. Bad idea. It's a key. Meanwhile, in my car, what do you want? Because you have to look. It's just a fucking button. You press a dial and you turn the dial

however you want for the key. Why? Why it is such bad design. It is. It has to look at the screen when you're trying to drive. No design. Just have buttons. Why is that so hard? You know what? Let's take everything and touch screen. Why don't you make the steering wheel one giant touch screen? You have to do the manual. No, I've actually had this on.

You make the most pedal two separate touch screen. Touch screen, did you see? Everything is god damn touch screen. No screen, did you see? It's like everything is goddamn touch screen. No, he's completely right. It's, it the most disgusting surface in the face of the earth. It's just gonna blow air constantly across it and you're gonna have to go water on, touch, water off, touch. It's so frustrating. It is, it's really dumb.

Especially in cars. Yeah, oh yeah. And in restaurants, you're like, give me a, like they're sitting right there. Oh, can you put this in there? Can you fucking do it? Can you, like they're sitting right there. Oh, can you put this in there? Yeah. Can you fucking do it? Can you, when I pay you with a credit card, is there a way that I can avoid not touching

this surface that is a fucking biohazard? Yeah. Can I just not add it? Can you take a picture of my fucking face and put it in whatever Russian database is that fucking coronavirus all over it now. I don't want to touch this goddamn screen. The pen was bad enough.

At least you can throw it away or bring your own. These are just pure pestilence. I groove these, sir. Hey, Dick. Hey, Sean. Hey. This is Octavia Jim. What's coming at you with a big league rage.

My rage is people who will spend more time and energy trying to get out of the work that they are supposed to be doing that is they actually put the same time and energy toward their actual fucking job that's called an odd studio tab and done ten times overall ready uh... i know so many fucking people like that's called an employee supervisory position which explains why they saw that type of work out in the

first fucking place because most managers are useless anyway also i just want to piggyback off of the rage that last episode of the being capable of receiving containers my girlfriend has this fucking infuriating habit of not closing doors all the way all right uh... piece of shit cast that are not allowed in the bathroom in the bedroom for a multitude of things. I think they want to fucking do this. They do. But still she just forgets to close the doors all the way, all the fucking times.

So I have to close them for her when I noticed that they're open technically. That should be muscle memory. It's like, it's like, it's all our muscle memory. Oh, hey, there's a weird uh... you know you know you know you know

fucker has been in our bedroom all fucking day pissing and shitting carrying up bills and shit then i get blamed for locking the door

and with him inside and i'm like motherfucker this wouldn't have been a problem in the first place there's a screen there and you're surrounding for literally five seconds and exerted the energy to close the door all the way

why why can you not do it uh... rip them up around the mysterious show about uh... i don't know uh... didn't get that in the stereos uh... call out i don't know maybe it was uh... the i don't know why it doesn't sit in the brain like a sliver. Like you just, you, you, that, you've, you tried to shut the door, the thing caught on it and it sprung it back open. Yeah.

If I did, man, if I drove in the back, your brain, wrong, something's wrong. Right? Wrong. Something's wrong. Turn around and make sure, I didn't shut. I knew it. If I'm driving by somebody's house and I hear that sound, I can hear like a thousand-mile, like Superman. I can hear all the unsutdoors in the world that unsatisfying sound. I didn't hear a kitchen, your brain. I heard a, yep.

I heard a schluck, not a caching, I gotta find it. I can't talk now, honey, I've gotta go shut a door. So I'm right there, somewhere in Africa, somebody didn't shut their door. Hey, Dick, it's Larry from California, and I got a fucking rage for you. right somewhere in africa somebody didn't shut their door uh... they get laid from california and i got a fucking race for you okay it's gifted mention the metric version of a measurement afterwork with like a chuckle or like a little

uh... through those people who are in the back words united states of america that's one hundred and a kilometers nobody fucking cares so the fuck up fuck you it doesn't matter anybody can do the conversion of the want to the fuck in your phone does a conversion now professorial and horse shit that's it it's just kind of a no it's like an annoying little way just to drop a little

knowledge just to say like hey i'm pretty smart. Yeah. I'm better than you. Yeah. Because basically life in the metric system is just more scientific. So everything that I think is there for more scientific, yeah, everything. I relate to the metric system better.

Yeah. It's just like kind of the way I am. I'm like a more metric kind of guy. I'm like a very logical. Yeah. Yeah. Like my ideas go from one to 10 to a hundred to a thousand. It's like an obvious progression. Your ideas are all based on some guy's foot. Yeah. How does that make you feel? My life follows like a methodology. You're a joke. Your philosophy is just basically a bunch of cartoons and comics that you've come that you've compiled. Yeah. And it's into a personality.

So once you go over and you know, build your door frame, three cubits in a span. Inches. Am I right, guys? Yeah. This guy drinks inches of, he goes to a bar, he has for seven inches of beer. What a fucking idiot. Me, one leader.

I'm all about the leaders. I want a leader, a cola. I fucking, I hate metric people so much. Even in science, I want to ask Trump should say, you know what, Space Force? We're using inches and miles only. Or go back to biblical. You know? Cubits.

Yeah, we're using qubits. Yeah, how many hands high is that? How many hands high is the moon? Well, that's easy answer. I'm glad you asked. Who's hand? Does that's up to me. That's for me.

That's for NASA to know. Right. That's why they get met with the big bucks. Yeah, biblical. What else did they measure in the Bible? Like Noah's Ark? What was that? Where's Nick when I need him? Um, shit. No, I know this stuff. Like there were qubits,

spans, or like 30,000 cows of Rockefeller. NASA is putting it in order for 30,000 bulls, prime bulls of of Rockefeller. How much is that? I don't know, but it better be right or we're sending it back welcome to america bitch i need two virgins worth i need 30 virgins worth of oil i need 30 virgins with how much is that how much of these new f f uh 57s or f 14s that you're buying for a rack not the worth about 57 virgins of piece mm-hmm how much is that how about i don't know but you're going gonna be very misogynist for, when you figure out. 200,000 bushels of murder.

Bushels of pecs, and I mean, that's, I want to learn that whole system, just to fuck with Imperial, with metric people. Yeah. I feel like I used to know more of like the biblical measurements what they used to use. I feel like I used to know more things like the biblical measurements what they used to use. I feel like I used to know more things for purposes of spite and sarcasm.

That too. Now I know. You lose your energy for it. Yeah. Alright. Okay. Oh, this might be good. Don't know.

Fuck, you know what makes me a fucking rage? We got a few bosses on night at our place. And the one on the other side of the shop decided to be a fucking snitch. It talks shit about how we do shit on our side of the shop. Just to get ahead for some fucking reason, he's already a boss with a fuck else can you want. Anyways, because he's a fucking bitch, now we have to fucking leave early. For some fucking reason. was the fucking bitch now we have to fucking leave early for some fucking reason

so now our fucking money is getting fucked with the work or did you get no good for a day i just want to fucking finally shake this motherfucker like uh... fuck yeah that's it by what is right god damn money

just to get ahead in life what kind of content are you yes it's a lot of work with these are fucking shit just to get ahead in life. What kind of cunt are you? You have successful one. Fuck you. You're with these fucking shit. All I want to do is shake you like a fucking baby, you goddamn piece of garbage. Fuck that motherfucker. I hate snitch-ass bosses. They're not even your boss. There's some other evil boss.

We do with fucking- All right, be back for the overtime. Fuck them. I fucking right. He's talking to his overtime. Fuck him. So, I hope he jokes on a grape in his sleep. He's a shit. People are feeding him grapes while he's asleep. I mean, I've eaten my fair share of things when I'm on the verge of passing out or going to sleep.

My last thoughts are always, oh man, if they find me like this, there's a lot of people are gonna be so happy that this was how I died. Dude, what are my uncles died that way? Really? Yeah, like fell asleep with like food in his mouth. Like I mean passed out basically, it's full blown alcohol.

I don't know, like beef or something, like a, yeah, that's a good beef if you're gonna do it. Yeah. Well, here's Andrew from Eugene, Oregon. I usually end on him i think yeah i think i think one of your saving grace is that is that you have you're hidden uh...

uh... here we go corona changes their name here's a meme shan corona changes their name to avoid association with the corona virus outbreak they change it to be all of break they jayton doing baller ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha you're hidden. I hid inside of empathy, right? And it's like, I'm trying again, because we want to run this in the States.

Oh, what? Oh, what? It was like stuttering or stammering. Like, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah. To where I felt bad for. I was like, I was a guy who stutters and stammer's all the time. And he's short.

Is he? I don't remember. No, no, I'm just busting his balls because he called me fat. He's very handsome. I'm jealous. Envious. Excuse me. What the hell? Jake, I think one of your saving graces is that you have, you're hidden, a hidden side of empathy, right? It's like, you've got the us to even know that you you should admit and you've been this recent episode you should admit probably even maybe more what am i saying you've got right

but it's christmas right to meet with the wrong you say you've been a lot well maybe i'm wrong and that's what i feel it's well it's free you know like the way these people are acting a lot of it a lot of it is he's uh... people are pretty much go i'm these people are orbiting the show. I'm going to over and I'm not saying that it's a bad thing. I'm just saying that people are orbiting the show.

It reminds me of what people say, a lot of liberals, they say about how being poor changes your mind and the way you think. I'm not saying that poor, but it's like, you just, it's not funny. Like when you're desperate for money, you get desperate for, to get by, it makes you an animal. Right? You ever hurt to a base or a level. It's so fucking hard. You do what you do to solve.

It's so hard to put things in the perspective when you are, when you're hungry. Right? I don't know. Whatever, I think I'm just on the limit of the like that if you did if you didn't have that i don't know if you actually put that you may be fucking take it out you should but if you didn't

at least take it i think you'd be totally accessible hateable but at least you do that and think it i think it brings the whole thing around and i think that's a good thing appreciate to be people take you seriously to take you a change value. Yeah. I don't know how to talk someone to maybe think about it for a little bit more than a second. Uh, it's impossible not to. I have, I have, I have entire tombs is a, I have, this is a monument to my desperation. You know, me fucking, you know, many times I've been up and down run in Canyon trying to pitch some fucking producer on a stupid movie.

Pitch while I pull it. You can't say walk here. I'm gonna, here I'm gonna make, I'm gonna make myself a French press and then we're gonna do, I want to walk run in. You want to pitch me while I walk in. No, I don't, I wouldn't, no one on earth would ever want to pitch you while you're walking up and down Runyon Canyon, like a, a, a, a, cut, yuppie thought paradise of morons with their dogs off the leash, that is, taking selfies on the, that is the most disgustingly Hollywood hike you can do. No, no one fucking wants to do that ever, but I'm gonna take that and swallow it because I'm so fucking desperate to get what I'm trying to pitch you on the screen

because my life will change. So I'm gonna do it. I'll walk down, I drove out here to walk up and down, running and fucking canyon with you to sell you a movie that I wouldn't even go see. Yeah, yeah. I don't understand i fucking understand i got seventeen years of desperation to show for it

uh... appreciate your thoughts though angel let me get you interested in the song to maybe i should have really not well i miss the good old days a bad day baritone you should be embarrassing yourself on the voicemails, but I'm a dick short. Yes, yes. Because that's my eeeeeeease. That's what all the people say. You're right in high in April. Shot down to me. But I know I'm gonna change that tune. But I know I'm gonna change that tune

When I'm back on top, back on top and tune Yeah, that's life And that's funny as it may seem Some people like me get their kicks, jumpin' on a dream But I don't let it get me down because I'm Fortunately this world it keeps on spinning around me. I don't fuck yourself. Yeah. Good job. All right everybody. See you next Tuesday.

See ya. you