The Dick Show - Episode 194 - Dick on Mad Hoes

Episode Date: February 18, 2020

The Road Rage: Los Angeles 2 venue cancels on account of "hate", finger whistlers, cam wh*res throw learn to read because of computer competition, a new challengers tries to reboot TBPITU, oddguy calls in about a suicide, how not to get burned by she's got a boyfriend, Joaquin Phoenix and his terrible Oscar speech, reclining plane seats, women on small penises, dead pets in VR, the ACLU vs. women, and Quantitative Easing; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I'm still pissed about the Astros. All right. There's enough. That's enough sports. It ain't going away either. That's one baseball writer put it perfect. He said 2020 is going to be an 81 game perp walk for the Astros. It is.

And all these other players who have changed teams don't think that the Yankees and the Dodgers will not throw at them. They will absolutely get thrown at. They should be thrown at for the rest of their fucking lot until one of their eyeballs pops out. Those cheating motherfuckers, Nick was gonna call in to have an argument about it. He said, well, you gotta get better.

Okay, let's just pump a bunch of roids into everybody, man. This is much, much more severe than roids. Yeah, there's no, a picture can make a guy on Roids''s, oh, that was a curve ball. Let me do it again. Do over. Hooker. Ron. If you bang on a trash can, you know, it's off speed. If it's got, if it's a fuck, if you see a red dot, it's a slider. If not, it's a curve ball or a change. Like these guys know what, get good. What do you mean get good? We bring the mafia in. Should we put itching powder and the others, like where is it?

Where is it when you start cheating? Where is the end? This isn't, this isn't billing, Nick. There are rules in baseball. This isn't legal billing. Signs, stealing signs is part of the game. Relaying them electronically from a camera and center. Perfect.

No, it's on you. It's on you if somebody, if a base coach or somebody on second base, you know, if they crack the code and they're like, yeah, we got that's on you to fucking change up the sign so they don't do that. But we put a chemical diuretic in their water in the visitor's team's water. So they shit their pants in the seventh inning. Yeah. Good.

You got to bring your own water. What do you mean? I get he's taking if you ain't cheating. You got to bring your own water. Like, that's what do you mean? Okay. He's taking, if you ain't cheating, you ain't trying to the extreme. Okay. Nick. Nick, at least that's what I assume his argument was.

I don't know. Oh, you have no idea. He'd actually say he just said get good or something like. Oh, oh, so yeah, maybe that's what it was. Maybe he agrees with me. I don't know. All right, let's start. I thought it was something entirely unrelated to sports.

No, it was about baseball. Okay, it was about that specifically. Got it. But he can't call in this week because he's at Disney World. But he's raped by Mickey. Woo! No! Ow!

I forgot the answer to this video. You want to dig it? You want dig it? You got it. It's the show where this contest came to life from Mount Bronco Deep in the Heart City of failure. I mean, how is it going to make the $20 million man, phototamerica's worst Mexican 50, 40, 44 weeks?

Right. This is right. As always, this world touring alley based comedian, Sean, the audio engineer, you know after that intro, I really think you oughta drink more. Yeah, that's gonna be a three beer kind of show. I hope to have three beers when R.E. gets here. Well, I could be at my best. Yes, yes, yes.

Your most eloquent, most eloquent. The three beer thing is, that's a real thing. That's a real thing. You're feeling good. If you're a regular drinker, you're nowhere near sloppy. I hope. Yeah. That's when you get. You're feeling good. If you're a regular drinker, you're nowhere near sloppy. I hope. Yeah. That's when you get...

You got that, you got that, that's when you're most charming. Yes. And you can stay on target. You can choose to either go to the dark side or the light side. You, but, but you have the choice. You have the choice.

Because you give four, you get no choices anymore. Just take it away from her. Hey everybody, all right, well, we're like, what do we got? What do we got today? We've got, oh, canceled by BuzzVee's. I don't know if I was something about that. I blame Andy for it entirely.

I thought it was back on. I thought it was back on. It was. And then it was canceled again. No way. Yeah. So for like pretty obvious reasons, I wish they actually like looked at the show or something

and they took two seconds of content and went, oh my God. Well, I have to assume so. So I woke up to this email and before anybody gets worried, the show is the show's 100% going on. Yeah. I am building my own venue as it turns out. Yeah.

I'm going to rent a, I'm going to rent a warehouse probably downtown. That's great. Bringing all the liquor. Oh my god. Yeah, jokes on them. Now, now I'm the liquor man. Now I'm selling liquor. It's exactly what they do not want. Yeah, but they drove you to it. They drove, they made me do this. I wanted to have some responsible bartenders. Right. Make a bunch of money for a venue. Yeah. Because God knows it'll be their biggest night. Yeah the year

Five you get five thousand six thousand dollars liquor sale. I brought this party to you What do they have to do is do nothing and you could enjoy the the spoils of my war right no we don't want you Yeah, fine. I'll make all the liquor money then fuck you. Yeah I got no choice. It's definitely going on tickets tickets. Thedickshow.com Ralph Ethan Ralph is gonna be there. Mad Cux is gonna be there. Awesome.

Peach is gonna be there. Oh. Tony from Hack the Movies. I think he's gonna be there. We could possibly get. This is like a reunion show. I know. It's gonna be a great show.

Could have been brought to you by Buzz Beeziste, but it's not. It's brought to you by yours truly. They don't want to make a deal on it. Dick who loves money. Yeah, right. I think it might be possible to assemble all four of the replacement esteriosis

because we've got Spaghettios, Tony from Hack the Movies. Yes. We've got Vito, I don't know what we call him, the erraticatorist areas. We got them up it, who I think is gonna be there. Okay. I think Denzel was the black hysterios, right? Was he?

Did we determine that? I forget who was the fourth hysterios, but we might be able to get all four of them together. I don't know. In one spot. I hope Denzel shows up. Me too, he's in San Diego, it's a hell of a drive. Here's what happened.

And then Reverend Scott's gonna be... Oh, that's cool. Studio the next day, the next day is gonna be an absolute, absolute fucking disaster in here. Has he been, he's been to a live show before, Hasony? Really, we've never met him. I don't think so. Huh.

Do you remember someone playing that guitar intro that he has when we met him? Doodoo, doodoo, doodoo, no, no, no. No, I don't. I don't. I think it also means that I'm gonna be able to tattoo somebody at the show. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do hell of a learning curve. Yeah, that's a, you never know what you're gonna get. Right. Yeah. That'd be fun. It's like practice on some chicken breasts or something. Life is like a box of retards.

I don't know. Drown it. Yeah, I never know what you're gonna get. Thought it was better than forest. Him being a retard. Life is like a box of retards. Yeah. It might be the greatest job, quote, ever.

Well, I mean, you know, you know, if you're saying life is like a box of retires, you're tattooing people. I guess it is. All right, that. Um, here's what they sent me. I woke up on Monday morning with the Buzz Bees cancellation. Keep in mind that they had, we started this process about two weeks prior.

Yeah. And I blame Randy for the whole thing. He's the one who recommended Buzz Bees East. Huh. And he's been busting my balls for a year, saying to get on it, why not have it at Buzz Bezeased? Why not have it at Buzz Bezeased? Does he work down there?

Does he, he's like a, is that his local thing? Or he sucks Dicks in the bathroom there. So he, he has to pay up a small fee for every dick that he sucks. Kick it up the ladder. 10% of the commoners. Tribute. Yeah, upstairs, pay a fee-fdom,

up to the big management at BuzzBZ. It's a dick sucking mafia, I guess. They keep them safe, though. It's protection money. Protection money from who, from them, from them. Right. Buzz, yeah, here it was. This was on the chain.

This is like a two week long chain. And keep in mind, it's very difficult to get any venues. Anybody who's listening to this show knows how fucking impossible it is to get. And it's an LA with a with a lightning rod show. Yeah. Yeah. Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, Dick at Buzz Bees East, we consider ourselves a neutral venue. It's a bad start. Oh, yeah.

And for that reason, we do not host any political related events. Right. Come on, what? There's that in nowhere, by the way. Yeah, sure. They had me come in to see the place, 30-minute drive, into the fucking city. Mm-hmm.

Timing's nothing. We respect the opinions of all of our guests and patrons, but to not host events based on certain themes due to our stance listed above. Mm-hmm. I believe that's a typo, but do not, I think they were looking for. Mm-hmm. We had inquired on the themes of the podcast, and we were told it was a male based theme

It's true true. Yeah, yeah right in the title right dick show We believe this was an oversimplification oversimplification of the topics involved It's this read like the most melee mouths to wish you was she limp dick shit You have ever heard. As stated, the venue itself holds all stances equal, but we really, even what, the KKK, that's, it's just all stances are equal. All of them, every stances equal to you.

Careful what you sign your name to. You're a fucking bar. Yeah. The only stance you need is our service wasn't fast enough, because it never is. As stated, the venue holds it, holds all stances equal, but will not host anything. Talk about all encompassing. Yeah, that's communism.

Clearly a lawyer did not write that. No, an idiot. Yeah. But will not host anything that may leverage this neutral balance in either direction. What in the, you know what, you know what's funny? I didn't even read this. Either direction of what? Which stance?

What are that, you know? Okay, so male centric... Are you tired, it person wrote this? For this reason, we will not be able to host your event on March 28th. The date, this is the one that really fucking stuck me. The date has been released. So that's what they do. If you don't lock it down, if you don't pay money and give me your card, keep in mind,

this is after I already signed the contract. Yeah, sure. And the way it works in these things is they send you a thing, a boilerplate thing, and you fucking sign it and send it back, give me your credit card information or your buyer, whatever they need to do to retain the event. So go ahead. Well, I was just going, this is not surprising to me. That, you know, really? No, this is the first time this has happened in L.A. It doesn't surprise me. We add guests. Because look, if you take a million

shows, you take a couple things out of context or whatever, that's, you don't get the feel of the show and what the guests have been. Who are, who are listeners of the show, who are active participants? They don't see that, you know, they go, this is toxic masculinity. Yeah. And, you know, who knows how far they delve into whatever politics, any of that kind of stuff. But it's like, there, the only oversimplification is their... Assumptions?

Well, yeah, there are assumptions based on what is... Yeah, their conclusion. Yeah, their conclusion is certainly an oversimplification. So I replied immediately, what the hell are you talking about? There's no politics in this show. Like, it's not a political show.

No, and it's just not. Well, I think we've done a good job of talking about it less, which is, which is costing, which is good. Yeah. Because there's a million other places you can talk about it. Yeah.

Speaking of, I saw today, Bloomberg posted a video where he talks about how he's in Ariesries and that that's why he's a kid. What's a Bloomberg? Yeah. And that Trump is a, is a Gemini, he called it. And I'm thinking, why do we let these bitches vote? Why do we let this demo vote? This is a trick, right?

I have never heard of these people. Yeah. Good for you. So I said, I responded, what are you talking about? It's not a political show. Give me a call back right away. Yep. What for you. So I said, I responded. What are you talking about? It's not a political show. Give me a call back right away. Yep. What the hell's going on? So I get a call from Michael. Michael, I think his name was. He's a, he's got an accent. I think he's Irish. I don't remember clearly now though. And he goes, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, um, you know, we saw

some, we saw some information about you. I was like, hey, what's the deal? Like, what are you talking about? What politics? It could be literally anything. Sure. I've ever said. Yeah.

So what are you talking about? Because, well, you start fumbling and floundering and like, oh, yeah, okay. So the big, ball email writer turned into no nuts, Nancy, on the phone, right? Did he finally come up with something? He said, uh, we'll be searching for evidence. You've got, you know, you've got certain opinions on women. It's a certain opinion on women.

What the fuck are you talking about? Uh, so I start guessing, right? Like, let me, are you talking about men about women in the book? Yes, there's a lot to guess. 13 years ago, that was published by the biggest publishing company in the world, that's obviously satire that only a fucking retarded person would take as literal and they have called in.

Well, that's, yeah. And goes, well, yeah. That's more and more people. Because what about the the doctor Phil video? I said the doctor Phil video. Yeah with a giant mustache and aviator sunglasses and a shame fucking head and shit brain And it's a TV show a daytime television show. It's it's a show It is for entertainment God help you if you're getting any fucking mental help from Dr. Phil. Is it is that a hit?

And he goes, well, yeah, you know, some people mean, some people saw that. I'm like, well, are they retarded people? Michael, are they fucking, and I'm at this point, I'm screaming. Yeah. I'm driving to Pilates. Yeah. Cause I'm gonna make this fast. Like, are you fucking kidding me?

Yeah. What do you guys, how many times do you know what is a satire? So I said, why don't you get on the short bus and drive over to the rest of your management crew, the brain trust that you have, deciding who wants to rent out your event, and to explain to them what WWF, explain to them what a fucking television set is.

Yeah. That there's none of that is real that they see. Right. They clearly need to be reminded of that. Not off his wall. You know, I mean, I think you kind of misrepresented your event. You said male centric, so I thought that meant like sports. I'm like, hey, hey, don't frame this as I misrepresented.

You had two fucking wigs, two weeks to use Google to see what the show was about. You had all the information, all of it. You chose not to. You signed the contract. Now I'm fucked. Everybody who's bought tickets, rooms, et cetera, is all fucked out of money and it's my fault.

And to me, and you have done this to me. So get on a phone, call the retards that led to this decision. Did you make the decision, Michael? Did you make the decision? Well, me and a bunch of people are talking about. So no, no, you're dead. You fucking pussy. You can't even say that you're not the one making the decision

because you're obviously fucking not. Get a dictionary. Get a shit that hangs, you are some fucking failure that hangs out in a venue and tells the janitor where to clean and tells the rental company how many chairs you need, you piece of shit. So I said, get on the short bus. Drive over to your little brain,

to your little brain trust and explain this to them. Because you guys sign a fucking contract. And I am, and I am coming after you, right. You personally, and all of them, if you fuck this up for me. And you know my Patreon just passed one million dollars. Yeah. I got a lot of money and a lot of spare time, a lot of fucking spite. And I'm, yeah, I'm pretty pissed off. I'm pretty pissed off the time. And he goes, well, we're not trying to be difficult. And I said, I'm the most fucking, I am trying to be difficult. Fuck you. Fuck you.

Get off the phone. Get on the phone with them and explain the situation. I have to go to Pilates. Yeah. You got an hour. Look up, say a tire. Look up, say a tire. Go find that.

He goes, oh, it just cost us a lot of business. It cost us a lot of business if we hosted your show. Really? What? Nobody gives a fuck about you. Everybody's gonna be back in there the next fucking day. You think your place is so, you know,

the Vanguard is cultural itself. Yeah, you're the cultural zeitgeist of midwilshire That fucking everybody's like oh my god. Did you hear bus fees hosting the dick show? I'm never going there again. I'm because I'm bringing my bar mission to Whole Foods Yeah, hey you guys want to go get a fucking drink after work. Yeah, right? They have walked, you know, fucking I thought that was a gay bar. No, that's just what it looks like. Yeah. Oh no, no, did you hear? They hosted the DIC show. Oh, I can't go there.

Oh no, we can't patronize that a thousand. Let's just go to Jack in the box. Fuck that. Yeah, that Jesus Christ, man. Like how fucking, how, how? Sports and stuff. Popular. Popular, do you think you are?

Yeah. You're just, you just turned down like a dump truck. You turned down your best monetary night of the year. I mean, so then he said, I mean, for sure. He sent me an email an hour saying, the venue will host your show as scheduled. I said, oh, that's great.

Thank you. Thanks for, you know, thank you so much. So you yelled them into getting it back on? Yeah. Oh, well. Yeah. And that's, well. Yeah. And that's what mad looks like. Not the shit, not capital tweets or talking to destiny. Yeah. That's screaming at someone to let your show let my people Drink is what mad looks like. So then a couple days later, I get fuck this. Hey, Dick, after much consideration, the venue has decided it will not be hosting your event

scheduled for March 28th, 2020. The venue is received further information. Since our last correspondence, further information, just what the fuck is more information? I'm a comedian or searches uh... regarding the event we received more correspond to oh you know what else the i'm a correspondence the expanets this was the best part the correspondence actually reminded me of

this i said um... uh... i said go uh... uh... oh god what did i say it was something about man i said we're holding funeral, fake funeral for a jackass who sued me for half a billion dollars and he goes, well, why did he sue you? I said, that's an odd question. Yeah. That's a very odd question. Right.

Why did he sue you? Yeah. That means you already had that idea in your head. And we know that Maddox tells people he has to see, has to sue me to get the mockery to end. Like he's forced to sue Patreon. Yeah. And me and call 80s girls school

because he's trying to do, he's trying to stop cyberbullying. He said that before, right? So when he said that, I said, well, why did he sue you? And I said, Matthew, are you dumb? What reason could I possibly give you that in your mind would have that make sense

other than he's a lunatic? Yeah. What do you think is a good enough reason for a half a billion dollars? You stupid fuck. And that is literally what I said. Because, oh, I mean, I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. Yeah, you don't know. So this is what, this is the next. The venue has received further information since our last correspondence regarding the event, its contents and its purpose. Its purpose. Purpose.

That's a real nefarious term, isn't it? You used in that context. I'm teaching everybody how to build a date rape drug that explodes the next day. Right, and you rape the chick and then she explodes before reporting you to the police. And it's purpose. It's purpose.

Wow, that's sinister. It's contents and it's purpose. Jesus. The venue, the purpose of entertainment. It's fucking entertainment. It's the only place every week where I go just to fucking be an idiot and make stupid ass jokes. Yeah. It's, you know, he said it's fun. It's supposed to be fun. Doesn't anybody fucking remember fun? He says to me every laughs. It's the first

call. He's like, yeah, you know, like we host like bar mitzvahs and stuff. On the phone, I was, I had to laugh. I have those jokes too. Yeah, I was like, oh, okay. Yeah. What's that was going on? Why didn't you say, why didn't you say, but mitzvahs, you fucking buster,

fucking sexist or whatever you want to call it these days? Hey, you don't understand. We host bar mitzvahs here. Yeah. Oh, really? Is that? Yeah, okay. I'll. We host bar misphys here. Yeah, I go, we're halloween. Is that? Yeah, okay. All those in my bar mitzvah there.

The venue has received further information since our last correspondence regarding the event, its contents and its purpose. Its purpose. The venue does not support hate. Oh Jesus. This is a bar. You're the number one cause of death in the United States.

Fuck you. If there was a God, we would string you up by your intestines for taking advantage of people with alcoholism. Your entire purpose and function in the world and all alcohol companies is to allow alcoholics to kill themselves more quickly. Yeah. 80% of your business, 90% is driven by alcoholics.

You fucking know it. You are evil incarnate. Yeah. Your business is not based on hate, it's based on death. That's what it's based on. This venue does not support hate in any form. Hate. And holds the belief. That Hate. And holds the belief.

That's, and holds the belief. Okay, there was misrepresentation given, including details emitted that lead that led to the decision to host. This is the final decision made. Okay. Yeah, this date has been released. BuzzBee's senior management.

Ooh. A 28 year old. Yeah. So I said, all right, I mean, this is clearly, This is B's senior management. Ooh. A 28 year old. Yeah. So I said, all right, I mean, this is clearly, they've made their decision, senior management. So I sent them a thing back saying, all right, well, you know, I'll see you in fucking court. Oh, yeah.

Well, clearly they were sent stuff. So no matter what, I got to find out who sent them stuff. Yeah. Or whether they just uncovered whatever they've, see, you can always go further information. I know, they say received, but it's like, maybe from my underlings, you know, like some totey fuck there.

Yeah, who knows. Yeah, it's, right, it would be interesting to find out, who knows, it's probably very pedestrian or whatever, but it's like, look, they sought the information that they wanted in order to not do it. So they wouldn't have to make any kind of a tough gut check decision. It's like they just sought out information that supported what they wanted to do. So, then I started looking at, we started looking for other places and found out that actually doing a building mile in venues,

a lot of fun. I mean, you know, like I was saying on a couple episodes ago, you just build a skill, the more experience you have with new things, the more killing power you have. We've got to get some kind of a liquor license. To sell it, we give it away no matter what. I kind of wish I had saved the tickets and charged people for all you could drink.

I didn't do that. Oh, I got you. But I think it'll be a lot better because we can do whatever the fuck we want. Oh my God. It would be amazing. Yeah. Whatever we want. Yeah. So tickets.

That'll be amazing. Yeah. There's lots of fucking old warehouses and you know, a hundred-year-old buildings. It's like tons of stuff in downtown or even in like, oh shit, like fucking Filipino town has them. Like, yeah, there's a million places like that. I think I can't remember what else I was gonna say about it. But yeah, everybody was saying that these suggestions

that come in are always my favorite. Well, they're always go deep right away, right? Dick, what you need to do is put in a clause that says they're penalized for doing, you need to do this in the future, put a clause in the contract that says they are penalized, some amount to face. But did you send them a contract? Of course not. They just send out, they have an email that has a contract and they say, my guys, they're

not circling the lawyers. They're not paying their lawyer $700 an hour to review my fucking addendums to a contract that will cost them to, how will that look? Oh, hey, by the way, can you guys sign a contract that says if you cancel me for being hate speech that you owe me 20 grand, why are you hate speech? No reason.

Well, no, no, we're pulling, we're pulling them. People said to keep it a secret too, but I'm like, if you keep it a secret, and then the day of it comes out, and they cancel you the day of, then you're fucked. Now you're really fucked. And now you're fucked and it's my fault

for keeping it a secret, trying to be cute. It's all a cute shit, it's just never, never a good way to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, to be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you. This is the first time it's happened. You've got to figure out what's going to happen as soon as possible. Mm-hmm. So that you can have, you can make other arrangements. Henry Kissinger said that. Whatever the ultimate outcome is should happen immediately. Yeah. Then you can deal with it. It's good policy. It is good policy. Okay, here we go.

What else do we have here? Guys, guys finger whistling. Can't do that. I can't do it. No, no, I mean, just, oh, you mean, it makes me rage. Just makes me rage. Guys, I have to get in the, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

finger whistling. Man, somebody's tried to explain how to do that. Like literally, I'm gonna just shove my hand in my mouth and just spit everywhere. I would like to shove at one of those to get a lot of whizzlers down up their fucking ass if I hear these motherfuckers. It's crazy how loud some people can do.

Yeah, and they do it, they do it to show off in the most closed quarters you could get. We were at trivia, getting our ass kicked last week. Oh really? The boomer crew. I couldn't make it. I can probably make, and you, that's why we lost. Cause you weren't there.

We lost when I was there. Well, this was, there was a ton of music stuff this time. Was there? That you would have known. Music and sports stuff. You were totally hopeless. That's what you always say. And then the time I was there, there was almost no, I mean, there was sports stuff. Totally hopeless. That's what you always say. And then the time I was there, there was almost no,

I mean, there was some stuff. But that was fucked. That was a weird, when you came, they were asking like weird cutesy questions. Really weird, yeah. They were like games almost. This was normal and it's this table full of, table full of boomers, like mid boomers.

They're not quite boomers, but they wear, for some reason they have, they have a quite boomers, but they wear, for some reason they have, they have a uniform that you never see in LA, like an NFL hat and sweatshirt, a gray matching champion sweatshirt of the team, shorts, fanny packs, they all look like Guy Fieri, brother who's not on television. Yeah, yeah. The fucking boomer crew. Guy Fieri. Kicked's not on television. Yeah, yeah. The fucking Boomer crew. Guy Fieri.

Kicked everyone's ass. Really? Yeah, I think we got, do we get third? We got third, and I was like, all right. Well, I guess, Randy there? Yeah, Randy was there. I guess third is okay. Randy was, was Randy drinking?

Randy was drinking. So that made it even worse. And then they win. The boomer crew wins. And the fucking guy at the end, the guy at the end, the they win the boom, the mid boomer crew wins and the fucking thing goes toward the mouth. And I think you motherfucker, don't you dare do that. Because it is loud. Fucking Mexican finger whistling shit in this bar with everybody celebrating.

You are, you obviously have a team. Can you dad do that? I do that. My dad and my sister can do it. And if they ever did it, it is the house. Because the killed both of them. Because the Mexican whistle thing is a real thing. Like I've known a lot, like it's like, oh yeah,

that's how like, yeah, listen up, listen up, yeah, family. Yeah, that's how we whistle to get across the border to different whistles. Yeah, white people bring you that or just go like, Kakao, Kakao. I'm just sure enough, motherfucker slides it up to his mouth

and just lets loose this ear piercing. Yeah, come on, man, what are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing? Why do you have to do that? Can't you just like yell and maybe clap your hands like every other fucking normal human being? Why don't you just stand up and jerk off for everyone? You're so impressed with yourself.

It is job. Can you get louder with that? Can you guys somehow synchronize your fucking finger whistlings? You cock suckers? Of course, it's you. Right in like the most sensitive frequencies that are like, you're like, God damn it. Man, feed away.

Yeah, fuck. I'm on. Yeah. How come I can't hurt you the way you have just caused me pain? You should just be able to punch somebody for doing that indoors or in a certain proximity to someone else. I hate that shit.

I hate it too. And the next, the next fucking day, we're at the, we're at the lucha vavoum show. Downtown is wrestling burlesque show Mm-hmm Of course of course dies Excitement starts to die down and you see them all over the place guys putting up their fucking My god man don't you fucking dare outside only outside only with that shit

And don't you fucking dare outside only outside only with that shit. Jesus. That makes me rich too. Oh, let's see. Do you see, um, did you see walking Phoenix speech for the Oscars? Um, no, he didn't. He go, I, I have not watched the Oscars in more than 20 years. But it's probably the, the, I used to have to watch the award shows when I was in, when I was in advertising, because you would have to know, you know, all these, all these

of consideration, you know, that you'd build ads with every different combination of possible, you know, outcomes. And then you'd have to watch. And it's like, you'd be on the phone to like the newspapers, LA Times. It's like like times, it's like, run that one. So it was fucking terrible. It was terrible. And I hated it, it just got longer and stupider and more self-righteous and less in touch with any sort of reality.

So no, I only heard that I think it does, isn't he a vegan or something, didn't he go? Something like that. Yeah, like full vegan. And it really, his speech, I only watched his speech, I don't give a fuck about the Oscars, you know, I've never watched it. Oh, no, no.

But I liked the Joker, right? And I liked walking Phoenix. He's a great actor. Yeah, he's funny too. See, and I don't care what they say. Like I've always been able to completely separate the actor, whatever, from what they, I don't care. Doug, when you're ever when Doug,

to Naples called in and said the pleasure of experiencing art will always override the moral objections you have to the artists making the art. Like yeah, that's true. Like the pleasure I get from watching a Woody Allen movie overrides my excesses, him being a fucking pedophile, right? It also depends how good they are for me.

Yeah, yeah. I don't make the also depends how good they are for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't make the same allowance for Brian Singer for example. Is he the one that, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, I watched it this week after the fact because I thought maybe we'd get like, I thought maybe the gamers would get it maybe a little hat tip because it's a, because we got so much shit endlessly for that fucking movie and everybody who was even

slightly excited about it was a misogynist and a racist and some kind of a school shooter. Every, any joker. Yeah, you remember all the hubbub about it? Like, all the fear mongering and gas lighting that we were subject to during the buildup of that movie. You cough weird at the movie and you call a SWAT team in to get you. I thought, surely we're gonna get some kind of a fucking hat tip from this jackass, right?

Yeah. Something about the, something about the movie's central themes of mental health not being taken care of in this country where there's excessive wealth on both ends of the spectrum that is being siphoned away from the most destitute the most arranged and the most capable of violence something about that yeah right something about this powder keg that we're cooking and squeezing that has nothing to do with politics with this being completely ignored. Yeah, it's going like, I love the movie. I loved it too. Yeah.

And this was the central theme. Yeah. But the central theme got written over, of course, got perverted by the narrative of toxic masculinity and racism and all this other stupid shit that doesn't matter. That has never, that has, that has, that There's in a different but that league. Yeah, then we actual themes of the movie. Yeah isolation Yeah desperation and sanity He gets up and talks about cows. Yeah, think what the fuck up what well that's fuck you That's fuck you. He's a weird guy.

Fuck that shit. He's a fucking weird guy. He's always been a weird guy. I'm here to give a voice for the voiceless. Oh, thank God you're gonna set the record straight. This movie's about mental illness and this, all these important fucking things. We're gonna get some notes about.

What we really need to do is stop drinking milk. Empty that cow's like, are you fucking insane? What the fuck are you, you're using this as a platform to talk about cows? You fucking lunatic. God damn it. God damn it. Shut the fuck up about cows. We take the cows away from their mothers and they cry.

And then we steal their milk and put it in our coffees. Like, yeah, you do. Yeah. What about all the human beings? What that your movie was about? Yeah. What about all these shit you moron? The fuck are you talking about cows for?

Just a gig, I guess. Just a gig to finance is true calling in life. A cows. Right. Exactly. Keeping cow families together. Keeping cow families together. Keeping cow families together. Yeah.

Thanks. Thanks. Thanks, Joaquin. So happy. So happy to have supported the movie and argued for its validity. For all these months, all of us for arguing for all these months. Fucking thanks. Yeah.

Thanks for that one. I'm gonna go drink a shitload of milk. I'm gonna go chug milk into I fucking throw up. So they gotta make another cow just for me. It's funny that it doesn't bother me at all and it bothers you. It bothers me so much because I know that he knows what it was about.

I fucking know it. I know I'm sure he does. He's a fucking dedicated actor. Yeah. I mean, he really is. So sure, sure, he does. Oh, no, he's a fucking dedicated actor. Yeah. I mean, he really is. So sure, sure he knows. Hey, man, you had a fuck us like that, buddy. Did you have to fuck us like that?

I'll always disappoint you in one way or another. So thanks for all the support. This movie was all about how, you know, this movie got a lot of bad press, but if you look closer, there's a deeper meaning that we have to start caring for each other. And some celebrities would have done that. There, I have, you know what I mean?

Like they would have done that. They would have touched on the themes of the movie. So, mental health, big fucking deal. Yeah, big fucking deal. A lot of people are, a lot of people are getting, for you walk outside, you could count 20 homeless people. They're all a guy in this movie that's what it's about. Not gender inequality talked about that one

Racism queer rights indigenous rights animal rights. Wow What's five name name five five days. I don't give a fuck about Survey says ding ding ding ding this on five swings and yeah Six times the charm Joaquin you got any for the mental health people you fuck. Yeah. Uh, and siminating cows. Okay. Well, let's hear it, buddy.

Well, it's a dirty job. Did you think that the movie you made that doesn't exist? Was it appearing in peace to you? He was just thrilled that he had a larger soap box than he might have had before he won. And I agree with him. Yes. That's the crazy thing, is animals. Yeah, well, obviously, obviously industrialized farm-examinal cruelty.

Yeah. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Right. Yeah. That's why our treatment of animals is so grotesque. We had to invent the idea that God told us it was okay. That's how guilty we are about the way we farm animals.

Well, God said they're here for us to eat. Mm-hmm. Really? Did He say that? Why, are you gonna feel bad if you didn't have that little feather in your cap? Maybe so. Well, I guess he's ahead of his time. I don't know.

Yeah. I've got this bitch reclining in a seat to queer rights, cows rights. Mm-hmm. You gotta stop these cows from getting their tits milked. Yeah, I heard it was, I heard it was odd. And then you have all the dumbasses like who are proud of eating meat, I guess? I don't know. They're fucking dealies.

Well, I don't know. You're equally exhausting. Yeah. People who are aggressively carnivorous. I got it. That's just as exhausting as the queer people who are painting who needs seven different paints patterns on their Wendy's big gulps to show their identity off.

Everybody's- Everybody's- Everybody's, if you vehemently support something, you're really into it, whatever it is, everybody's rule should just be, don't make us look bad. Just, like, just don't make us look, don't be that obnoxious mother fucker who like, you know, is eating raw steak at a fucking, you know, vegan rower, whatever, like, yeah, I love it. It's like, yeah. Like, it just, what you just fucking, oh, it's a rally for people who hate their dads. I'm both sad. Is that what this is. Look, let the insane people look insane.

And you'd just be normal. Would you just fucking be normal? It's not that hard unless you're insane. And then you're all gonna be able to identify them. I made me so mad because I was so invested in his movie. Yeah. And he's so upset. Okay, let me get this.

This is a, this one was on, this one made the rounds this week. This is a guy who's sitting in the back of the plane, you know, where the seats don't lean back. Who's in front? Hillary Clinton. Yeah, I think it is Hillary Clinton. And she has leaned her seat all the way back. Yeah.

And this is his response to it. And by all the way back, we mean about four inches. Yeah, but that four, man, oh, that four inches is on, if you are the kind of person who takes full advantage of that lean back and you're not on an international flight, man, fuck you. That is that this, that four inches is the difference between me sitting upright, like the way my mom drives and typing at a somewhat restricted pace to having to type into a pie slice. Well, then you have to lean back to it. And like, you're, I'm doing thriller to type into my fucking laptop with your thing all the way back. You know, the amount of lean back on those seats is way too much.

Here's the video. Maybe you might have seen this. No, I haven't. I don't know. So she's leaned back all the way in her reclined seat. He's in the very back. He can't lean back, but I think that's irrelevant. And he's just bouncing her seat

like a child would get the yeah yeah watch watch watch watch watch watch and she records it in the middle look at him yeah and she's recording it knock knock knock is he not not not much punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch That's something here too, I didn't catch it. Let me see it. He leaned over and said, you know, that's where he said it. I can't tell. Can you isolate, can you enhance him, Sean? Not really.

Okay, let's try to hear it. I don't know, probably something about the seed. Yeah, he's a hero. That's my position. Never seen anybody just a hero. That's my position. Never seen anybody just do that. Just punch their seat. And then have, and then, yeah, well, and then not have somebody in front of them, like, turn around and go like, Hey, what are you doing? A bunch of you seat, you stupid cunt. Do you know how uncomfortable it is to have the back of the seat riding your

fucking face? It does make a difference, I think, that he can't go back to. Because now he's really trapped. And you know that. When you're in the second to last row, you know God damn well that the person behind you was squeezed in. Like, well look, you're not comfortable on those flights. It doesn't matter if you're upright or reclined. You're not more comfortable because you're reclined.

Oh, you like this? I think people do it like just to feel like they're the king of the plane. Now it's my time to really treat myself. I don't know. I can't get comfortable in cattle class, fucking really ever. My knees are usually touching the back of the seat in front of me. I hope I see people saying that it's the plane's fault, the airlines fault for making the seats like that. Oh yeah, are they?

Well, how many of you were sprang for the extra room on like Virgin Atlantic? Cause they were nice, but no matter what the planes do, you'll still to save two dollars, you'll pick. If there was an Auschwitz air that just stacked people on top of each other and it cost $3 less, you would do that. That's what this is, it's you, it's you, but you can still not shove your seats

into the person's face behind you. Fuck you. That's hilarious. It is. Oh, no, there we go. Okay, that was that one. Let's see here sports illustrated. I'll try to see if I can find out what he said. See if you can bring it up. Yeah.

Yeah. I think easy peasy. Easy here. Hey, easy peasy. What's going on? Hey, what's up, man? I guy. What's up, man? How are you? Doing great. Another fucking shit show has happened on the site. The site isn't even up. It's not even online. The segment and cycling problems. And cyclopathy, dramatic. It's still not. Yeah.

No, they're fixing it. Listen, it's really easy to destroy your own website. It's a problem to bring it back online afterwards. Yeah. You know, knocking down a building like a sand castle is easy. It's hard. You run up, you kick it, it falls over, you can't just magically unkick it. It's fucked. It takes a little time to fix it up. Are you fixing it up? I'm not fixing it up because I don't know how to do anything, but the people who do know how to do things have told me that they are definitely fixing it up. Okay. Well, hopefully none of them are in jail.

Yeah. Yeah. Last time someone told us they're fixing it up and it took too long. He stole the money and bought cocaine. So I've told you so. So what's happening in the easier world this week? Well, a hooker died. Okay.

Oh, we have a dead hooker on the side. You just have to go to Las Vegas to find one of those, but now you can go to Encyclopedia Dramatic. One of the long time users of our site has suddenly died, either suicide or OD. Okay. Just fascinating person. Let me tell you about it a little bit.

Okay. She's a complete sociopath. She was for a while dating the site owner who stole the site's money for cocaine. He got her hooked on drugs and now she's dead. What's her name? What's the hooker's name? Mandy.

Mandy, a moment of silence for Mandy. Okay, that's enough silence. Yes. Let me tell you. Go ahead. Tell me some of the, this is fucked up shit she meant me. Let me tell you. Go ahead. Tell you something. It's fucked up shit she used to do.

This is some real fascinating shit. We first sort of got to know her when she was 15, and she learned a crazy woman who we were making fun of online on the site. She convinced her that they were dating and got her to ask her for news and then expose her for being a pedophile. And then she did it to like a bunch of other people. Okay. And and basically all she would do all day is send

people news, flirt with literally retarded people online and then convince them to do things like jack off with mayonnaise. Like this was a regular thing with her. She would constantly send me these horrible fucking videos of borderline retarded people that she has convinced that they are dating her and has then convinced them to do it. Just let's see. She sent me, yeah. She couldn't get Chris before she checked out. Typical him. Chris McCarty.

I'm originally not. Jackson's off with mayonnaise. What else? Well, one time she convinced a 40 something year old welfare leech that I was a woman and then he spent several weeks trying to flirt with me. Okay. That's funny. Then he, yeah, then he died of a stroke and she built a little shrine for him in her house.

Also funny. Yeah. One time she convinced a woman that a completely insane woman, I think she's like paranoid because she's a frenic and she wants some boy band member to be in love with her. And she convinced this woman that if she writes his name on the wall with her own shit, then you will fall in love with her. Okay. And she convinced this woman that if she writes his name on the wall with her own shit, then you will fall in love with her. I'm like a man's and family reject. Like a like a bruha kind of what is that religion?

Santaria. That's a Santaria practice writing names and your own shit. Right. To make them love you. Every few months. Spend a while since I've been to the Centralia service. Listen, every few months I would get like several videos from her. She would basically have a secret contest.

She would be dating seven or eight crazy people online at the same time. And she would convince them to do crazy shit. And then she would pick the winner based on which one of them did the most insane shit like I would on a monthly basis get videos from her of Insane men wearing women's underwear dancing around in the room. Oh, what's wrong with that time? Well, they did it because she told them to do it if you want to dance around in women's underwear I'm not judging you can do whatever you want, but don't do it for a random prostitute online, okay?itute online okay what a psycho that was that they were she was she was their girlfriend yeah yeah she would constantly convince crazy men that they would make that it would make their big bigger to jerk off with mayonnaise she ever explain the science behind it. I don't think so. I think she just, you know, like read an article.

Yeah, you know, Christopher, Rob's testosterone on his balls every day. I'm not sure. I don't think that's what you're supposed to do. Yeah, that's what he does. I think he does it to reverse his like vaccine poison that he's claims that he got as an infant. Okay. Yeah.

He rubbed his vaccine poison. That's interesting. He got vaccine poisoning. That's his deal. That's why he's so, that's why he threatens women all the time. Yeah. Anyway, you thought that a doctor raped him in the hospital.

Mm. Is the baby? Is the, I'm sorry? As a baby? And no, I think he went to get circumcised at a quite adult age. And came out of that surgery thinking that the doctor raped him in a sleep. Anyways, that's why he became a neo-Nazi.

Oh, no, yeah, sure. The doctor was Jewish. Yeah, right. I don't know. I think he thought he was Jewish. Well, okay, so what do you mean? So what did Mandy do? Well, like I told you, she, first she outed a few pedophiles, then she started dating our admin, helped him steal money from the site for cocaine, got addicted to cocaine,

sent us a bunch of naked videos of him going insane while on cocaine. And then she became a stripper, although I think she was doing that even before that. And then a few weeks ago, we find an obituary for her. Apparently, she's dead. Rest in peace, you crazy fucking psychopath. And where is the funeral? Where is it? I don't know.

I'm not going to fucking America for a funeral. I just seems like ED would want to have like, you know, a membership there. Well, you know, they need a website first. They need a website first, yeah, sure. Yeah. Well, that's too bad. Yeah. Another shining star in the Encyclopedia Dramatic University burned out before it's time.

Every week, somebody that goes to jail or dies or gets arrested for harassing small children, every fucking week. Now, you know, when they're not getting arrested or getting killed, they're transitioning. They're becoming transsexual. Half the staff is now wearing programming socks. Everyone. So, right?

Like, you're wearing socks? What is that? Yeah, program. It's, well, look it up. It's thigh high socks that transsexuals online wear. If you want to be transsexual, you need to buy what programming socks. What do you want to call programming? Yeah, why are they called programming? Because programming

your brain sexuals online are also shitty programmers. Oh, God. When they are programming, they wear knee high or thigh high rainbow colored socks and post pictures of their dick online. It's like in tradition now. Oh, okay. I'm looking at them right now. These are programming socks.

So they do, they do their programming and they're wearing these thigh, pink socks and they post pictures. And then they send you a picture. I can't believe that that idea is popular enough to like result it like programming socks. How the hell would that be associated with that? That means there's enough people doing it and searching for it and calling them that. Yeah, because they're kind of taking over like women's things.

I bet everyone in like the Google offices just, you know, sitting around wearing this shit, no pants. There's just fucking a lot of that. Everybody at the Google office just, this is their official uniform. It's just the Google colors in striped socks that go up to their groin and then they're completely naked. And they walk around. The doors are tinted windows.

They have the ripaway pants. They go into the door at the door closes. They rip those shits off. Die high socks all day long. They go go grab in their asses. They go go they show up in a jumpsuit, right? They all walk in like a jumpsuit like trash man. And as soon as they get in the door, they that's a tarot way and they're wearing nothing but program or programming socks underneath that. Yeah.

And then they bounce around programming this that I can't send. Uh-huh. Sending internal memes and memos on meme gin or whatever they're doing. When you buy estrogen pills, you get a free pair. It just comes with them. Mmm.

That's wonderful. It comes into the same box. Well, that's a great update. That's it. What else you got? You know what, if I'm already here, let me tell you, let me go down memory lane and tell you some great stories of other fucking retards that have been on our forum. I just thought, because you know, it's just one story.

I should fill up the time if I'm going to be on the show. So here's one story. One day, some guy shows up on a forum as usual and we immediately realize that he's trying to troll us, but not very well. You know, just posting random shit, being annoying. So what they do is immediately dox him and they find his secret deviance art account where he makes 3D models of himself having sex with dinosaurs. All right. Is he on the bottom of the top? I think he's mostly a failure.

He's some oral, mostly oral. Oh, he's second to dig. Sorry. A second dinosaur cock. Huh. Yeah, just an entire account. After we show nice, like, okay, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm just going to leave now. I think I've, I've done my, my children for today.

We did not see him after that. Any particular species. Would he be upset to know that the dinosaurs had feathers would that fuck up his fetish? Like do they have to be leather? Probably, it'll like ruin the fantasy completely. Yeah. Okay, here's another story.

One day some chick shows up. Fadey modeling, wait, can I go look at any of these? Do you remember the name of his Deviant article? I don't have to see this. I don't have to see this. When the site is back up, I'll try to find it for you. Oh, fuck, man.

It's a very important repository of Deviant C. Yeah. I would like to see that. Okay, here's another story. One day, some girls shows up on the forum. And the thing is with women, if they're annoying, they're annoying right from the start. Yeah.

There's no female user on the forum. You know, from the first minute, if you're gonna like her or if she needs to fuck off immediately, the problem with our forum is we don't really ban people. We only have two rules. The first rule is don't post child porn and the second rule is don't be a fact.

Those are the rules and the second rule is almost never enforced. So, you know, catch all. I'm in so many shows. Yeah. My dad had that same rule. You're right. You took me a side and I was four years old.

Right. It looks like I've got two rules in his house. Right. Go ahead. No child porn. Okay. So, because we don't really ban people, the only way to get you look at undesirable users is for the other users on the form to harass them until

they leave. So this chick shows up. And she immediately starts getting on our nerves. We tell her to fuck off. So she, of course, we're sponsored with, I'm not going to leave him. There's nothing you can do about it. So that's a bad one. We're going to let the throw down. Not a smart idea. So what they do is they lure her into a public chat room with video. And within like half an hour, they have her crying. And then they post pictures of her crying on the forum. And a forum. And one interesting thing that happens

when people go completely insane is they begin demanding that we band them. But of course, we have a new band. Yeah, Christi Kiwi does that too. They won't just leave, they want to be banned. Yeah, because they cannot, they have no agency. They cannot control anything. So they need you to do it. And they aggressively, like Christ no agency. Like they cannot control anything.

So they need you to do it. And they aggressively, like Chris the Kiwi's new thing is, he goes on dating sites and uses Bradley Cooper's picture for everything. And then women message him. And he immediately starts going, if I sent you a real picture of me, you wouldn't want to talk to me.

Can I send you a real picture of me? Here it is. Can't block me, block me, block me, block me, block me. Like, he any, any, any screenshots at all and sends it to me. He's like bitches, right? Like, yeah, man. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Bradley Cooper. Listen to me. You want to be Bradley Cooper. Yeah, go ahead. The second the form is back up, tell him to come on over. We'll be his friends. Just hop on over.

We've got lots of bitches just for him. Sadly, Mandy is already dead, but we'll find some love for him. We've helped a lot of artists find love. Okay, we've helped one artistic find love. Well, here's another story. I just remember, this is a great one. Okay. Some guy shows up on the forum and he's Clearly fucked in the head like socially awkward. We're we're guy constantly whining about not having a girlfriend

Rendon how girls don't like him because he's autistic now right in In an Antipical fashion the people on the forum take pity on him and decide to help him find some pussy. So they start giving him advice on how to find women, how to get a woman to date him. After like a few weeks of doing this, they actually get him to talk to a woman and to get a girlfriend. Okay. Wow. He is worth it. Yeah. We're really good. We're really helpful. We, we, I'll tell you another story later.

We're really helpful. So here is where the things go south. Here's where the story's out. We're, since he's very autistic, the minute he gets a girlfriend, he gets this superiority complex. Oh, wow. We know living with him after this.

Yeah. I think he immediately starts talking shit to us, calling us virgins. And telling us to fuck off. He stepped across the line and immediately forgot where he came from. It is really, I've always had to learn nothing. The kids who get bullied in high school, the second they get any kind of power over anybody else, they are the biggest cock suckers. It's like, no, you can just tell.

You can tell and that's why they get bullied. Nobody wants to say it, but it's because, yeah, because they're a piece of shit. Well, think about it. I know, they might be crying, they shit their pants, they look like crap, their parents are garbage, but they are fucking garbage and the kids always know. But that happens in families too.

You know? Okay, generations. We strongly believe that in psychopedadromatic. Like we give a lot of people who are very self-pitting, and they think everyone's mean to them, but everyone's mean to them because they're assholes. Yeah, they're especially assholes on the internet, because there's no real consequence.

Don't can walk up to them and slap them. So we have to slap them through, slap them for the computer. Just fuck with them until they slink off to another website. But the story I'm telling you has a bittersweet ending. I'm not sure if it's a happy ending or a sad ending. Is it a dead? A dead? What?

No, he's not dead. Oh. No, he's not dead. He's not dead. This one is alive, okay? But he will die at some point, right? Of course, thank God. Well, hopefully, but listen, this is one.

So after a while, his relationship seems to have gone sour. And what it turns out is that the woman he was dating refused to have sex with him and was sleeping with other guys with his permission. No, yeah. And then of course, I don't know if he broke up with her, or no, she broke up with him, of course, he's too much of a pussy.

And then he came crawling back to us, asking us for help to find another girlfriend, and we bullied him until he left. Oh, okay. That's a happy ending. Yeah. And bitter sweet, I'd say. I really wanted to help him.

One time we helped what was your advice to him? What was your advice to him? Uh, collectively take a fucking shower, talk to women, get out of your fucking house, take a shower. You can't, well, he's not going to be a soonie, doesn't shower. Yeah, yeah, you're right. We didn't stink, man. People fucking stink. If, if, like, how are you recommended? If there was a recommended daily allowance of showers, it should be five.

Yeah, there are some people who just fucking stink, man. Like, what are you, what are you doing? You gotta brush your teeth more, man. Brush that fucking tongue. When's the last time you brush that tongue like an orca, you gotta scrub back, that's right. It's like a deep, rough fucking thing. Simple chemistry. Fight your gag reflex, buddy. You can, you got to scrub back. That's right. Like a orca fucking thing. Simple chemistry.

Fight your gag reflex, buddy. You can you, you fucking stink. You are fucking stinkin' your ass. Just watch your ass. Just watch your ass. Just fucking brush your teeth, clean out your ears, fucking pour acid on yourself if you have to. I don't care.

Yeah. All right, odd guy. I love that you call in. That's a very exciting view into the underworld of the internet and psychotherapy of dramatic. I hope you guys get your scent. Can we crisp us the second size up? I want him on the site.

We will be his best friends forever. Just when you think it'll be up. Yeah, when's it going to be up? I don't know. When the fucking brain aneurysm, the guys who are working on it are having just go the way I'm not sure. I'm a month, a year, they don't know. They told me to be like a, like a client on one.

I talking hate that. Uh, so can you get this ready? Uh, so we have a problem on the site. Can you fix it tomorrow? Like, well, I don't know because I haven't looked at it yet. When it's done, people are actively working. Top man, top, topits are working on it. All right, it's in there.

Okay. No, I was going to say, say what you're going to say. I wasn't going to say anything. I was just going to say something stupid. You can cut me off now. Okay, bye. Bye. I love those guys.

Yeah, we got to send this to you. Is he in Europe somewhere or something? He's in Israel. Oh, that's right. He's in Israel. Well, okay, we've got a woman's right. He's in Israel. Well, okay. We've got a woman's going to call in in a little bit who doesn't like the virtual cam girl project melody.

Ari should be here soon. What else do I have here? I've got a prank call from the phone losers. I think I'll play that when Ari gets here. I'm sure I had more things. We haven't heard anything from them in a while, huh? Phone losers, Brad from the phone losers. No, we haven't.

Lizzo on Dix. Remember when I talked about Lizzo last week? Yes. The hippopotamus? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got a quote from her. This is, oh God, and then I got a mom with a dead kid in VR.

That's a good one, too. What? Yeah, Sean, the world's changing very fast. You've got to be ready to do drugs. People send you in the mail immediately. You know what? I'm starting to come around. Let me find Lizzo.

Let's see what Lizzo's fat ass has to say about men on their dicks. Lizzo on the double standard for critiquing men's bodies versus women's. So you've got a big fat hippopotamus. Yeah. And since she is the spokes hippo for all the hippos and the hypocrisy of America, not H-Y-H-I-P-P-O-H-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-P-H-P-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P-H-P- Hippocracy. Hippocracy. Right. There you go. That's women. Right. And they vote. You and she is their spokesman. Lizo. Right now. Yeah.

Correct. She until she has a heart attack or jokes on a moons over my hammy or drops a bunch of weight. Yeah, or gets the surgery and drops a bunch of weight. Right. And it then becomes a African American sale draped over a skeleton, like Oprah. This is what she has to say about men and their dicks. We don't talk about your dick sizes, do we? Yes, they do. They talk about it non-fuckin' stop.

Yeah, it's 90% of their conversations. If you fuck a chick, all her friends know every fucking detail about your dick. Yeah. The curvy your dick, the y'all have your dick, for sure. For sure. They all got preferences of dicks that they've never fucking seen before. Yeah. Do you drive a cool car?

Probably got a small dick. Does he have a bad attitude? Probably because he has a small dick. Does he have a big dick? Probably because he has a small dick. That he have a big dick? Probably because he has a small dick. That's 95% of their conversations about our fucking dicks. And this, completely, they are as preoccupied with that

as we are about anything on them. It's all they care about because they were born without one and they can't undo it. Everything they do in life, all the horing and the complaining is because they think it's an antidote for having been born without a dick. They definitely talk about it. If they have, if they have recently experienced one, it is completely talked about.

Oh, whoo, whoo, talk about dicks. I think that women are always gonna be criticized for existing in their bodies. Lizzo Mood, I'm reading the article. And I don't think I'm any different than any other great women who've come before me. I think she meant gargantuan women who've come before. That had to literally be politicized just to be sexual or sexualized just to exist Things on them that were beautiful were called flaws and they persisted against that and fought against that

It's just gibberish. Well, she it's just fat gibberish. She can't speak. She can't speak No, I mean imagine this is why she's so fat Imagine her trying to understand calories. This is why- Exercise. This is why most like labels and stuff make stars take media training courses. So they know how to sound like this.

Right. So they know how to not sound like total idiots and interviews. Fat dumb, sloppy, sweaty hog is what you're saying. She continued, um, bragging. Now I'm able to do it. I'm able to do what I do because of those great women. And they all look completely different.

They don't all look the same. And they all had to deal with the same type of marginalization and misogyny. Yeah, you know what? Cause you're all fucking annoying, that's why. She then called out the double standard between women's and men's physical appearances. Here it comes. So what does that tell you about the oppressor?

What does that tell you about men? Get it together. We don't talk about your dick sizes, do we? They do. You talk about it all the fucking time. This is all come from, you stupid bitch. It's all you talk about. This is all come from you stupid bitch. It's all you talk about. I learned all this from women.

They'll tell you. I say one thing and it's you never been late. You never been late because of your dick. You have a small dick. Yeah. Constant your gay, you've put your dick and other guys but holes. That's all those arguments. Your dick doesn't, your dick doesn't get attention. You have a your dick and other guys but holes that's all those all their arguments You dick doesn't you dick doesn't get attention you have a small dick you dick goes in guys but holes

That's that's they're in that's the entire scope of their of their argument Well that sounds like something that someone with a small dick would say exactly. That's just oh I'm having a real problem with this guy at work. Have you told him that he has a small dick? No. I did do that. Yeah. Oh, did you tell him that he sticks his dicks

in other guys' buttholes? Yeah. I haven't tried that one. Well, that's all I've got. That's all we've got collectively. And say that it's not a conventional dick size, it's too small. Is this bitch fucking getting saying that guys are not told

their dicks are too small? Yeah, I don't know. I'm gonna, this is why guys' suicide rates are going up so much, because we gotta listen to this. We gotta listen to the job of the hut saying that women never talk about our dicks being small. I read an article, I read an article recently where they say that jerking off with mayonnaise makes you

counteract that. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I have to, I'll have to double check it. Well, maybe if you don't know if that's right. It's grinded on Rizzo. That'll work. She sweats mayonnaise.

Have you ever heard a guy tell another guy that their dick is probably small? Have you ever heard a man say that? Not that I recall. Like that guy's really pissed out. You know why? Pist off. Why? Cause he's probably got a small dick. Like I have never heard a man say that. I've never heard a man use a small dick as a pejorative against another man. Yeah. I don't remember.

I can't recall one. Okay, here we go. Sorry, my head. Would you like me to call? I'll call you in a second. It's gaslighting. Lizzo's gaslighting us because she's saying that they don't tell us our dicks are small, but that's all they do. That's gaslighting. Yeah, I just... She deserves to go to jail.

I only know that they definitely have conversations with just the girls. There is a lack of representation in the world, full stop, especially for women who look like me, she said, but my... Lack of representation, it's called the American public. Yeah, there's what the fuck do you mean? Lack of representation. Go to a Walmart, you tub of putting,

that's all there's represented. The reason why the skinny ones are on TV is because they don't exist in real life. Cat, size, and apology department is working overtime. Especially for women who look like me, but my choice process was to make myself visible. Well, you can't hide by anything. Well, you're right.

Not visible. To be heard. That's why I put black. You stand next're what? Right. Not visible. Visible. To be heard. That's why I put black. You stand next to the great wall. People have think it's a fucking sand castle. That's why I put black and big dancers and also an entire orchestra of black women on

the Grammy stage because I think I can help them. I must help them. Well, good for you, Luzo. Okay, mom with dead kid in VR and then we've got Lennox. Lennox calling in? Yeah, Lennox, all right. You wanna see the VR thing, Sean? How can I not?

Dead kid and V, yeah, this is pretty funny. So this is a mom who's got a dead kid, and they made the dead kid in VR, and now she's like, I guess the mom, I think the mom's stupid, and she doesn't understand that you can't touch it because she keeps trying to touch the kid. Yeah.

The VR dumb bitch. And her hands go right through her like a ghost. But that's the future. I have no opinion of this other than I predict we will soon see thoughts online doing this with their dead pets, and that is going to fucking enrage me. Yeah, you know it.

That's fucking not what. That's exactly what's gonna happen. I think this is sad. I mean, I think it's sad. I think this is sad because the mom has a dead kid. Or a head, yeah, a head, I mean, that's sad. Yeah, just, like, I don't see anything wrong with looking at old pictures,

but somehow this is like a weird VR thing. I don't think I'd get the same kind of fulfillment out of it. I don't know what, if it's ultimately, like I wouldn't want to terrible for her mental state to do this or not, I don't fucking know. Your kids dead, your mental state's fucked. Right, we can't fix you, you just can't do it or not, I don't fucking know. Your kids dead, your mental state's fucked. Right. We can't fix you. Exactly. Exactly. I mean, is it, you know, do you, do you, do you ever get over that?

That's out of our scope. No, you know, talk to God, he did it. So, you know what, anything you wanna do, my opinion means nothing in this. Yeah. It's weird. Like, I wouldn't want to have a VR. No, it's sex with an ex-girlfriend. It can be like, right, that's fucking bizarre. Yeah, it's definitely strange. I mean, it's definitely strange. I'd look at a picture of a dead relative

or like, I'll go look at Andy's art sometime you're like, ah, I fucking miss that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or Alan's shit. But I mean, this is just an extension of a photograph or an extension of a movie. Yeah, on your phone, then all of a sudden, an extension of a movie. Yeah, on your phone, then all of a sudden, it's not a mind that, but I will mind when the chicks

start doing it with their fucking pets, when nintens, dogs, and they take a bunch of virtual, this is my boy buttons. He died three years ago and everyone, my pupper, my fucking pupper. It is going to be annoying. Ah, that's what it's gonna be. You're right, you're totally right.

Yeah, I'm calling it. All right, let's talk to this girl. So there you go Sean, there's what's on the future for you. Not me. You're gonna be gone. I'm not playing. Yes, okay, let's do it. All right, we got about 10 to 15 minutes with Lennox.

Let's give Lennox a call. Are we doing video with Lennox? I don't know. Don't know. I don't know, Riley sets these things up. Does he? All right, bitch, you know what, he's the phone? Fuck, I'm fine.

Lennox is unavailable. Okay, let's read some comments. Because I keep things moving. You know my dream as a kid was always to host a talk show? I believe it. Pretty much, but she just called you. She's calling you too much doing that now, yeah. Is this Lennox?

Yes. Hey Lennox, how you doing? Oh, you got video. All right, let me try to get the camera up. There we go, there we go. Okay, Lennox, thank you for calling in we are talking about We are talking about project melody Right now you're talking to dick masterson and Sean the audio engineer. Hi, I'm gonna explain to Sean project melody is a

virtual computer girl that is also a Performer on a camera a performer on a live cam. Yeah, who gets tips for taking your clothes off and stuff like that. Is that about right? Yeah, that's pretty much so. You would see here as a kind of like an anime webcam model, I guess, in a sense, is kind of the, the, or an avatar based webcam model. Yeah. is kind of the, the, or an avatar based webcam model. Yeah. Um, is kind of how I would describe it. Okay, let me pull up a picture of her. So Sean can see what we're talking. Yeah. And how long has she been around like a week? Oh, wow. Yeah, week. Um, it's kind of crazy. Everybody thought that she was the first. I also thought

that she was the first I recently came to discover through research and stuff that that is actually not the case. There was an avatar webcam based model called Jenny Starveling, who I actually got to speak with and kind of get some information and knowledge on how everything like with this works. She's actually been doing it since 2018, So it's kind of one of those crazy things of house, like project melody, getting all of this attention and all of this priority placement exposure versus obviously someone who's already been doing it. So it's kind of crazy.

All right, I'm pulling her up right now, Sean. Can you see this project melody cam girl? I do. I do. Wow. Isn't she hot or what? I'm stunning. Sean, Lennox, Sean likes real women, not, not like me. I don't, I don't

like real women. I mean, I'm, I have to, I have to use them because the technology is not there yet. The technology is not there for me to fuck a computer, but Sean is a fan of real women. So he might be on your side. You don't like project melodies. Is that right? Oh, so honestly, I think that it is brilliant technology. It's absolutely amazing. You know, the fact that we're getting two points with technology and the internet and where we are to be able to do something like this, I just think that it needs its own platform. Why is she taking, you're a performer too, right? Yes, yeah, and she's taking your money, right?

You know, it's kind of one of the things is the things the loops and and the things that we have to get through to be verified and to be able to do these things and When you reach out of these terms of service, they're very specific about what they were. They've changed them three days after her popularity. Prior to that, it was very specific that the face on camera needed to match the ID that was presented when you signed up for your account. You have a problem with it for the logistics, the permitting of it.

Yes. And so then, you know, also when you look into the style of things, you know, when you read their terms and conditions, it says, um, to, you know, to be the, the, the, you need to be of looking of age of, of moderation. What is age of moderation when it comes to an animated character to you? I mean, age of moderation, to me, you would mean that, you don't have any kind of looks or characteristics I would show you to appear to be under the age of 18

with that anime, Hentai kind of drawing style, like very Lolita, right? Yeah. The Lolita style is based on looking per personally underage. Yeah. So you think this is, you think she looks underage and it's kind of like a little bit closer. It takes us closer. Yeah. It's an anime computer.

I get that little vibe from it. You don't? I mean, I don't know. I guess if I if I had to explain to a cop, I would say 18 just how old do you think this computer is? No, that's just force a habit for you. Yeah. Okay. Teen officer. How old? Let Okay. So that's the thing. How old are you? Let me pull it up for the chat. How old does everybody think this bitch is? I don't think she could get into a strip club if she were under age.

Yeah. If she was under age, there's no who would be buying her this stuff. Right. Look at those tits too. Those are obviously fake tits. You got to be 18 to get a boob job. You know what I have to think about is that I watched the first stream, right? I looked at it, I checked it out the first year, so somebody asked in their

camera how old are you? Right now, yes, her bio says 19, right? On the side. Oh, there you go. When she was asked that question, her response was, well, I don't really have an age. Well, she's a computer. I mean, technically this is three days, three days, yeah, three days. I would get a warning for saying that. But you're a real person. Real person. No.

The rules should be the same across the board. Why are there one set of rules for one person versus one set of rules for the other? Well, because I don't think anyone has to protect the rights of a digital being. Not yet. That's next week. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, maybe if they grew in a lab and used like a neural network, what if the ability identifies as a human being? No, we're getting into that. Getting someone else's. So you think the rules should be the same?

My sister is a 30-something. People think she's 16. So I'm not going to, you know, if she was on a campsite, she'd probably get harassed for her age all the time. But that's the thing is then when you're when your face is matching her on the camera, then my ID had to prove that I was over the age of 18 because I have to upload not only a copy of my ID, a copy of me holding my ID next to me so that you can physically see I sign the person that matches my ID. And in that way, if I can with somebody else and that person is not listed, then I can count you down. Can't you have a virtual ID? Yeah, how can she get an ID?

Exactly. So that's the whole point is how is it running? How is all that running? How is it working? Now, running, I would be more than happy to invest money into little virtual Tokyo.com, because I think that should would bank. But I just think it needs to have its own place. How much money is a melody making, project melody? Do you know? So she's probably making, I would say,

about 1,000 to 2 1000 to 2000 stream right now. Wow. 1000. Is it a guy doing it or is it a woman controlling it? Do you know? So that's what we don't know, right? Is it digital rights, the creator? I think it's a guy.

I mean, he's a computer, right? Right. So that's a guy. The has, so the one I found out from speaking with Jenny Starbling is the way that she says that it works, which was very enlightening and lightning to me to know is that I guess for her, for her avatar, she meets to run two streams. She runs a stream that's for her avatar, then she runs a stream that chatterbait moderators can see to show that she's the one that's streaming. But that's how it works for her avatar. So, you know, she was the first, and that's one of the things that we're all kind of questioning is if this person was doing it from 2018, how come

that on her very first day, her very first dream before she had anything, she had first place placement, she was the very first person that you saw before she even had all of those followers. That happened some kind of agreement or contract made with Chateau-Bake for that. And that's kind of unfair to other girls who bust their asses coming. I know girls who came 10, 12, 13 hours a day, every day of the week, they're between, they'll go on for four hours, they'll take a break, they'll go back on again, and they never get to reach that, but they have a follower, they make the tokens, but they never get to be placed on the first page.

That's the fair. Are you worried that the computer that the bot is gonna make the thoughts have to upgrade their game? I mean, you guys are gonna have to compete with the virtual perfection here, controlled by a man. Nobody knows, nobody knows how to turn on other guys like a man, right? Are you guys worried that this is, that this she's gonna take your germs? I think that is one of the things that it's also kind of like a fad, you know,

when somebody sees something that's brand new for the first like few weeks, it's like, all this thing is fantastic. I need to, like, I need to be part of the in crowd. And then eventually it is part of a niche. I mean, there's been hand-tight porn off for how long, but at the same time, people still want a porn. It's kind of the same thing. I, for me, the biggest concern for me

is just making sure that the terms of conditions are the same for everybody. And I think try to base kind of suddenly starting to realize that now, which is why they changed completely their terms of conditions. They took out all the ID verification portion that was included in there. So that you don't have that verbiage of the face needing

to match who, like, ID needing to match who specifically on camera. I think those big changes are things that should have been done before. If those changes were made before she started streaming, then I wouldn't have even had the same issues with it. Because I know it sounds just like you guys are pissed that this virtual bitch is drinking your milkshake.

Oh, man, I'm still drinking my own milkshake and I'm still doing perfect. So you're perfectly fine if the terms and conditions were the same across the board. That's it. That's the end of the argument. This project melody had like a big banner at the top that said this account is actually a 45 year old man

named Baba, and this is a picture of him. Now here you go. You're dating? No, what should be stated in the terms of conditions is then there should be a section in the terms and conditions about using an avatar and how that verification process is done so that we all know.

Yeah. Well, they had to verify this way. So this is how we know the same person is running the account. I can't have, say for example, I want to make money all day, but I can't stream for 24 hours. Is that going to make you all have other four other people stream for me? Is that the project melody for other people could be running this account? But is that going to make people not want to look at cartoon porn? Yeah,

I'll fucking shell it over, man. You know what I mean? Like it's fucking credit guard up. At the end of the day, it's the end result that people want. Like they probably don't care who it is. Like what I'm saying is it just it always seems to come down to money. Yeah. Oh yeah, so you have to think about this. One person can possibly count for 24 hours before people could run a virtual avatar at eight hour shifts and be counting. So that great. I haven't bring a whole NASCAR team in to get those titties jigglin.

I'm into it. But that is the same time then that creates an unfair environment for the rest of the male female trans whoever unfair my dick. I need to get this thing out. You guys, you women have been holding us hostage for our nut for thousands of years. And now the day of reckoning is here. I read it's way more than just women. There's there's gay men on there, there's straight men on there. There's trans females, trans males, every gender non non-binary or all listed there.

And planning from across all boards feel the same way. I think it's remarkable that women can't change their oil every 5,000 miles, but you seem to know the TOS violations for a computer animated porn back and forth. But I can't do that. You know how to change my, in my oil, I change my tires, I change my brake pads. So when it comes to that stuff, I can do the all that stuff,

I can do the all that stuff, I can do the life from it. Wait a minute. First of all, can you give us your website so people know where to go? But then I have one more question for you because you said you know how to change your oil. I have one more question,

but I appreciate you calling in by the way. I think it's hilarious. I personally think it's hilarious just because if I was a camgirl, I would be pissed that a virtual camgirl was coming in scooping up all the dough. I think there's just a shitload of resentment for it. If I was a camgirl,

not only would I probably hate a lot of my audience, because it just be relentlessly orbiting and sucking me dry of emotions, right? And by the same token as an audience member, there's also that kind of seething strip club animosity, right? We're like, yeah, I'm here. I'll give you a hundred bucks to grind against my dick, but I fucking hate you also. So because that's just how men and women are, you know, if you can't talk without hating each other a little bit. I think, you I think it depends.

I primarily do female domination. So that for me, that's what meant. My customers want that. They want me to think of their research. What kind of dominant? That's got to be so satisfying. Female domination where you can just openly despise men. Yeah, and guys want more.

Yeah. What do they ask you to do? Small penis humiliations, or laughing at them and their tiny dicks, talking bald twitchers. So a lot of bald bustings, stuff like that. What kind of small dick, like if Sean, if Sean was into small dick humiliation, what would you say to him?

Well, the fact that he has a tiny shrimp dick that's useless, that nobody's gonna want, that the only thing he can do is use a little pinky to go ahead and try to flick himself off That really he has a clip and that his ass is better off being filled by a big black dick She's fucking real that off like she said it before Okay, what's your nerve and more turned on? Yeah. What's your site? What's your site? Linux. All of my links are all listed.

If you go ahead and follow me on Twitter, have everything listed as my pin to you. So find me at Lennox May XXX. Say it's slower. Say it's slower. Lennox. Yep. Say it's slower.

And then Lennox May XXX on chatterbait on stream. May you find me everywhere and everywhere. Okay. I have one one final question for you. And then let me explain XXX on chatterbait on stream mate. You find me everywhere. I'm everywhere. Okay. I have one one final question for you. Is a series of questions I ask every woman who calls me through. When did what year approximately?

I'll give you 20 years either way. What year did the revolutionary war happen? Well, I'm English, so I mean, I don't really care about that war at all. Well, you guys were involved. Right. Okay. What year did the Civil War happen? Well, she's English.

So 1066. I don't fucking know. 1066. All right. Good guess. Battle of Hastings. What about World War I? I think you guys were involved in that one.

One is in 1914. That's what I ended. And then what you started in the 1930s. 1930s. Okay. What about Vietnam? This is the one that always throws women for a loop. What about Vietnam? Vietnam was in the 60s. 60s. Okay. Nailed it. We've got 90s before. So good. Excellent. Lennox. Good luck. Good luck against the, against the bots. I think you guys got your work cut out for you. They're taking over. When this and Femme don't bot,

I might have a little bit more of trouble, but we'll see. I was gonna say, I don't think your clientele crosses over. You know, I mean, I don't think a guy could ever provide that service to another guy, no matter how many computers he had. They wanna know it's from the woman's brain. An only woman brain. Oh, see, women could hate men in the way that men cannot

and women can't put that in a computer because they don't have the ability. I'm not too bad. I might need to get more codes. So I'm not too bad. OK, thank you. Thank you for calling in. Have a good one.

Thank you. I'm going to love that I'm not too bad. Okay, thank you, thank you for calling in. Have a good one. Thank you, I'm gonna go up and take. What a lovely woman. Was that an autistic thought? The preoccupation with the contracts, everything's gotta be fair, everything's gotta be fair. Everything's gotta be, it's gotta be same terms of service. No. When women, when something threatens them,

they are suddenly able, they know, it lays like arguing with them. I know what you said. They know what's a money thing. You said this. I know what's a money thing. Oh, we're having a fight. Well, you said this five years ago,

and then you said this last week, and then you said this last week, like, oh yeah. Huh. But you've never taken the trash out one time, and you can remember all of that shit. I have to get up at seven when I hear the trash guy coming. Great.

I think I'm right about that battle of Hastings date two. Let's see. She said 1066 thinking of the battle of Hastings. 1066, yeah, you're right. I should have been at trivia. Oh, dude, I was just every time a question comes up now that's music or sports, like, fuck, why isn't Sean here? Battle of Hastings, that's the answer for now on.

All right, let's see what else I got. Question, comments, comments, comments, comments. Can we have another beer please? That should really lock in when you're drinking. Yeah, you're right, you're right there. You? That should really lock in. Yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right there. You're, you've paced yourself very well. Thank you.

Thank you. Dude, you know who's calling in next week or the week after Vermin Supreme. He's a guy who's like a cook. Oh, he's running for president. He wears a giant boot on his head. Oh, yeah, I've seen that guy. You know that guy.

Yeah, he's calling in. That's cool. That'd be funny. Yeah. Uh, comments, hop hop hop list. Today, my friend used, uh, told my friend to use this and your shoes pick up line. And now he has his first girlfriend in five years. Great. That much of laughing, crying faces. Good for you, buddy. Robert Hancock says of the guy who called in last time with the biggest problem. His elevator pitch was so bad, give him a chance to actually prep and see if something comes of it, but the only way I see the biggest problem returning is with a rotating second.

Yeah, the guy that called in last time with the biggest problem. Yeah. He's nervous. He's surprised. He seems surprised that he would have to perform. Well, I mean, what do you want me to do here? He maybe he hadn't thought that far ahead. I think he wanted to sell himself rather than himself in the role. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I do, but you got to be ready to go. He knows that now. He knows that now. For the rest of his life, he knows that. Yeah. Well, but see, but- But- He's nervous. He's nervous. He seems life, he knows that. Yeah. That's good. Well, but see, but he's a service I provide. Well, actually, that is a service.

Yeah. Because he will know in the future when those kind of situations arise. He said he would call it again, but then he said he read Reddit and he wasn't going to call it again. Oh, come on. Don't read your don't read your own press. Fuck those guys. Dead Helms.

Hey, Dick, it's dead. Helm, I just want to clarify that I did not pay $150 to get in that strip club. Oh good. Yeah, I spent $150 for four dances and entry altogether. Please clarify to Sean's that I'm completely retarded. Thank you. His mom is bitching about $150 at a strip club.

That's a fucking deal, man. Yeah. If you can get out of a strip club with only spending $150, you are probably either a priest or a pet a file Yeah, that's not much to spend at a strip club sadly 20 bucks to get in 20 bucks a dance Are they still 20 a dance? No 40 no well sometimes. Oh, wow Let's see here

Women's strip club days they they were 20. It was pretty pretty much across the board. But you said sometimes they're still 20. Yeah, sometimes. Last time I was at strip club, it was in Portland with, you know, with all the dickheads and everything like that, but I didn't get a dance. So I don't know what, what were they up there? I don't remember. I didn't pay for any. Oh, peach did. Hey, Dick, I've been catching up with the podcast. I was listening to episode 181 of the podcast of voice-mill mentioned children being arrested for images of minors in decency, indecently.

I remember being in middle school in the early 2010s, and I and my whole class was presented a film on the dangers of new sharing nude photos and videos of yourself, and how a 17-year- old kid was charged with child porn for sending it to a 15 year old. That's the lesson. It's not, you might regret this because it's inappropriate

and maybe respect yourself a little more. It's, you know, be convicted as a pedophile. Pedophile. Yeah. Way to go cops. Please teach, please moralize to our children more. Yeah. Hey kids, you shouldn't think twice about sending a video because they could take it and

they'll show their friends and that's gross. Yeah. You don't know this person. Just think twice about it. No. Jail cell. You're going to jail for being a pedophile. That's it.

Thanks. Thanks guys. Yeah. Good help. Way to go. Everything looks like hell. Way to distill it down to exactly the wrong thing. Okay, and you guys for this. Yeah, good help. Way to go. Everything looks like way to distill it down to exactly the wrong thing. Okay, and you guys for this. Yeah, did you come up with that on your own?

I don't know what you were Sean think about that, but I'd like to know your opinion about what's about that practice. Um, I mean, it's the cops. That's what they do. Yeah, everything is you're either arrested or you're not. Yeah, and they're gonna throw they always charge you with the biggest crime that they have. Yeah. That's their job. So don't ever let them around children. Yeah, I'm good with that. Don't ever let the police around children.

Millennial with a rage, what makes me a rage? Valentine's Day. Hey, Dick Hachon. Hey, with Valentine's here, this is likely to be a repeat rage, yet one that needs to be reminded to all the single virgin dickheads out there. I am reading this accurately. It's just not written correctly. You're chatting it up with a kind, broadie who has a great figure only for her to drop the news onto you that she already has

a boyfriend. Yeah. Now you've been talking for some time at this point, and your heart just drops into your stomach. Clear? And all you can think is, why couldn't Alcaps? Why couldn't you have saved me the time and just dropped that bomb at the fucking beginning? I wouldn't have wasted your time or my time if I knew going into this. Maybe some idol chitchat or the occasional,

what's up with you and leave it to be platonic in my mind. Instead, I went with the idea that you were single and I have been burned for it. Okay. So are you wasted your precious conversation? Yeah, don't get worked up into a shooting. I wasted this gold on you. I was talking my glib remarks about Bloomberg,

and there was for nothing. It was just for your enjoyment as a human. You didn't suck my dick at all. You had no intention of ever doing it. And I can never reuse that material. Fuck you. It's gone, it's out in the wind. I was living in the moment.

Yeah. I looked like a fool. To all the dickheads out there, it would be wise to assume no chick is single. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. It would be wise for you to assume that is the fucking little thing.

That is the pendulum swinging hard the other way. You have a boyfriend you dumb bitch probably. Yeah. Presume they are all to unless you have information to verify this. Right. Got to verify fact check. Just like the little surveillance. Oh, little surveillance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Learn her patterns. Mel their breath. Yeah. Any kind of old space on your body. Any way, any kind of old space on your body anywhere, or any kind of deodorant that went menus? Sniff their hair. No, that's, yeah. You know, all that healthy stuff.

Well, I think you've got to learn how to ask questions that provoke the response sooner. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. That's, stop, stop making sense. Yeah, like you're trying to avoid the question because you hope that she's single. Yeah.

Just get it ripped the bandaid off. You know, you got any plans for this weekend? Oh, what'd you do for your birthday? Right. Because you have a nice Valentine's day. You get in anybody's something on Valentine's day. And I was listening to this going like, oh damn. Damn, that's smart.

Damn. Yeah. Unless you have information to verify, then you go all the way around and then you realize that, oh, I don't care if she's a boyfriend, I'm still going to pursue it because I'm a scumbag. Presume they are all taken and simply rip off that bandaid on day one. Well, until proven otherwise.

As such, dating sites are any information that you can find to showcase they their being single is what you have to rely on these days, word of mouth and so forth, since all women love the attention of guys, regardless of their relationship status. I think they like your attention more if you are dating someone. I think women like men's attention more if the guys dating are married. Oh, well, because he's desirable. Yeah.

Don't get caught out when she drops that bee bomb on your dick as all hopes are dashed. Man, unless you're the guy. It's very severe. I know. All hopes are different. He does. He really had some A-gay and pre-mode material

that he was wearing. He's really burned up about using this, yeah. Unless you're the guy who has no scruples and she is the chick who is willing to cheat on a guy anyhow, they're all fucking willing to cheat on a guy you dickhead. Though I have though I'd have to question any potential long term relationship with someone who's willing to cheat so easily. Oh man man. I never understand that, Megan, if she cheats with you, then she'll cheat on you. Like, no, he's writing a lot of rules.

Yeah, it's really important to categorize the chaos of life into rules that you stick by forever that no one else has. Right, and that, you know, none of those will be broken, you know, unforeseen by you. That won't shock you at all. The meme of she cheated with you, so she's gonna cheat on you.

It's so naive to me. Well, maybe her relationship was shitty. What do you mean? Yeah, it doesn't necessarily mean that. Women aren't pit bulls. They behave erratically at all times. So do men. Though I'd have to question any long term relationship

with someone who's willing to cheat so easily, I kind of have a feeling that you would take anything reading this email. I know that I'm not that kind of guy, so to those that are all the luck to you. My fault for presuming she is single. Oh, the luck to you. I have refused to talk to women for the rest of my life now. That's what I think.

Because good luck to you guys that are fucking girls who are cheating on their boyfriends and talking to you, using your material. Yeah, that's a little bit severely written. I get it though. Yeah, that's a little bit severely written. I get it though. Yeah, yeah. I'm just asking, oh, I have a boyfriend. I know, no, no, no. Damn it. Yes.

I understand the sentiment. It's, you just gotta be a little nicer. See them as just people, a little bit more. Just relax a little bit. Just relax a little bit. Just relax a little bit. And what you said about the, about the, you know,

you strategically ask questions and they're just normal fucking questions. No questions. That could elicit that response inside of a minute. That's a nice necklace. Is it, did your boyfriend get that for you? Did somebody special get that for you? Oh yeah, my boyfriend did get this for me.

Yeah. Fuck off, bitch. Yeah. Get out of my way. I'm trying to get to the bar. Oh yeah, my boyfriend did get this for me. Yeah, fuck off, bitch. Yeah. Get out of my way. I'm trying to get to the bar. Get out of my way, you stupid hole. Uh, she's this crazy. My fault.

This is why BuzzBee's canceled the show. You know what I did? So they got review bombed after that. Oh boy. Like countless people, you know, cancel the show. Cancel the show. Hundreds, four stars to three stars, two and a half stars, something like that. And then they got locked down,

like Yelp will protect your profile if you're getting it every bombed. Right. It's just funny, it's not gonna, nothing's gonna happen to them. Oh, no, no. Nothing's gonna happen to them because everyone did it at once.

If everybody waited to do it, like, you know, you've got so many people listening to the show. If everybody waited until their birthday to leave a bad review, it would look real. Yes. Like if they waited till their birthday and then gave a two star, a three star review and snuck them in there, right? That would look real.

Yeah. But, you know, obviously you can't coordinate something like that. No, probably illegal to ask people to do it. Right. But that's how it would get that just bombing it all up front gets locked down. Right. But there's no way to coordinate So many people no to fuck up reviews. How would they have it all have to they would all have to know in advance to do it on their birthday

Yeah, and that would be impossible. They would not like everybody couldn't come up with that plan. No, there's no commuting No, no, no, no, no, no, and then communicated to everybody Jesus Christ I mean we have great technology. We don't have technology You know on that level yet. That's, we can have jerk off robots. Yeah. But camhors at a business, but to launch a distributed review bombing attack that goes, gets through the sensors,

that's impossible. Yeah. So don't even, you know, don't even, don't bother thinking about it. It's just, it would require that everybody take your losses that's impossible. Yeah. So don't even, you know, don't even think about it. Don't even bother thinking about it. It would require that everybody take your losses sometimes. It would require that everybody had that idea in advance. Yeah.

And that's just a level of criminal thinking that most people don't possess. That's right. I know I'm not that kind of guy, so to those who are all the luck to you. My fault for presuming she is single, and it is a strange thing to start a convo with a chick of, do you have a boyfriend? Especially. Well, you don't start a conversationvo with a chick of do you have a boyfriend, especially well, you don't start a conversation with them. Do you want to suck my dick? Even though that's what you want to ask. Will you do if you're McAfee? Oh, yeah. He paid her a thousand

bucks for their first night together. Is that right? Yeah. My fault for presuming she is single. It's a strange start. It's a strange thing to start a convo with a chick of, do you have a boyfriend? Especially when they may be lying. This letter is insane. I love it. I love the angst. I love millennial angst.

Um, it's just so extreme. Oh my God. I've got all in relationships. She's clearly lying. You know what? I can't have a relationship. It's the John Favreau phone call in swimmers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what it is. He talks to an answering machine 19 times before she picks up. It's like, don't ever call me again. Oh, you see, well, it's just, it's not you. It's me, it's like, yeah, that's exactly what this is. I love it because every guy goes through this at some point and you can't like call your dad and tell him about it.

Whether you have a good or a bad relationship, you can't call your dad and say, like, I feel this, is it normal? Is this normal? It's normal that you feel like this, but don't fall, like put this line of think, print it out, burn it, and then stop thinking like this. Yes, yes.

Enjoying the show is always, and all the best go, fuck yourselves, as usual this Valentine's Day, Millennial with a rage. Thank you, sir. Oh, here's advice on how to get out of venues being closed. Did Ari say she was 15 minutes away? Goodness, I'm tired.

Checks. Just like I want to go. I don't know big deal, just an hour. So I'm sure you show. Just like I wanna go on a climb. No big deal, just an hour. So I'm sure you show up to work an hour late all the time. Yeah, I mean, usually everybody waits for me if there's a, you know, if it's clients in New York or something like that. Yeah, they don't, they don't mind stand

until, you know, seven or eight o'clock at night. Of course. Going for me to get in when I, you know, get in. I can't start the fucking session without the engineer, right? I mean, god damn, I have a lot of stuff here. Oh, I have something about the Fed. I always regret most that I didn't talk about the Fed. Although, everyone probably hates that part.

This was the Fed's, let me load this up. Buh, buh, buh, buh. The ACLU versus women, that's another one. Three female students file the lawsuit against Connecticut for their transgender athlete policy. Yeah. So the ACLU is fighting women on behalf of getting trans women into women's sport.

Yeah. Which I think is just so funny. Like the ACLU. It's very funny. It's very funny. Fuck you bitches. The ACLU called the legal challenge a dangerous distortion of both law and science.

Wow, science, huh? I don't think you want to start dipping your toe into science, ACLU. I don't think that want to start dipping your toe into science, ACLU. I don't think that science is ever, might not be your, ever been on your side. In the service of excluding trans youth from public life, the purpose of high school athletics

is to support inclusion, build social connection and teamwork and help all students thrive and grow, said Chase Strangio, deputy director of the ACLU LGBT and HIV project. Efforts to undermine title nine by claiming it doesn't apply to a subset of girls, which subset? One's with Dix, right?

I mean, that what they're saying, because they can't get the surgery, they're in high school, which subset, ones with Dix, right? I mean, that what they're saying, because they can't get the surgery they're in high school, so they have Dix. A subset of, right? That's what they're saying. Yeah. Yeah.

It doesn't apply to a subset of girls, apprentices in all caps who have penises. We'll ultimately hurt all students and compromise the work of ending the long legacy of sex discrimination and sports. Just combine men and women sports everywhere, everywhere. Yeah. Major League Baseball, men and women. Yeah, let them in. Let everybody for it. Everybody. That'd be great. They'll have a good time. Completely inclusive. They'll love the atmosphere. Women, what I know from women sports and the constant cheering and having your back and kissing your ass and cheering for you, they'll really fucking love the atmosphere

of men sports. Where you're calling each other other gay 99% of the time and then encouraging each other to fail, gloting over each other's failures that last last percentage of the time. Um, that was a pretty good one. Here's, is that she, she said that she wouldn't be able to get you into a 130. No, she's fine. She could stay home. Oh, Ari, I'd rather talk about Bitcoin for the rest of the show anyway.

Sean. Let me get a rage in. Go ahead. I was thinking about this. My rage today is reckless shitting. Okay. So I was at the gym about four or five days ago, and you know, they closed that shitty dungeon gym

that we used to go to. Oh, where in Hollywood? In North Hollywood? Oh, yeah, North Hollywood on Ventura. Yeah. And so, now, the one in Universal City is overcrowded. Yeah. Because everybody from there is going,

but it's really fucking, it's a really nice one. It's a really nice gym. Yeah. So I've been going there, it's not that really that far from work. I walk in and I'm like, God, I gotta take a shit. Mm. Doesn't usually happen right now.

Right before the gym. Yeah, but I'm like, it's a bad time. Yeah, it's just a bad time, but I'm like, It's a bad time. Yeah, it was just a bad time, but I'm like, Oh, okay, It's fine. It's okay.

It's fine. It's an HDH. I don't take any of that shit. You don't take any creatine? No. All that is all natural. Wait, I mean, all this. All the muscles and stuff.

You don't take any creatine at all? No. No, no two. No, no protein shakes. No. No glutamine? No. Why? I don't know. I know. I need it. No. No glutamine. No. Why? I don't know.

I know I need to, I should be getting that stuff. I'll just, I will order a double on my next round. It's one scoop, you drink it and you have way more energy. Wow. And you recover, like it doesn't hurt that the lactic acid and the recovery is not nearly as bad. Because lactic acid fucking sucks. Oh dude, you gotta get on that.

You're right, you're right because, so I used to the point of working out if you're not drinking the protein. And I know I used to, you know what, I got out of the habit of it. Yeah, it's so much easier now. Like we used to have to load for weeks and it was disgusting.

It's just one scoop now. What should I be getting? I'll get it for you. All right. Okay, thanks. Awesome. So good. I didn't even think about that shit anymore.

But so I'm like, okay, cool, everything's clean. It's great fucking bathroom. I get the fucking, I get the big fucking wide stall, the handicap stall. My fucking favorite one. You know, because it's just like, it's your own room, it's a big room. So I go in there, take your feet up.

Everything goes, everything goes surprisingly well. Uh huh. And you know, like most of them, Go in there. Take your feet up. Everything goes, everything goes surprisingly well. And you know, they have like most of them, they have the multiple roll toilet paper, you know, rolls right there, the big like industrial ones, but they, the Aztec calendars that they have the one ply toilet paper on. The Aztec calendar wheel. It's made of stone. It's about three tons. Yeah. And it's the size of a car. Gotcha. Those industrial toilet paper rolls. Gotcha. But if you have to pull with the most precise, like you're docking a space shuttle or I'll tear it right off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Except it's not the ones. It's not the ones where it's where they you pull it out toward you.

You have to pull it out. Yeah, the bottom, right? So I wrote a reach for some toilet paper, bring it out, and my fingers are covered in shit. And my first thought is, what the fuck just happened? I like, I'm looking around, and I'm like, what the fuck that wasn't that violent? God. And I'm like, what the fuck? That wasn't that violent. God. And I'm like, Jesus Christ and the sudden realization hits me

that somewhere under there is human shit that is fresh. And I fucking wipe off my hand like a fucking spastic. Oh, Conan and I reach from what I look under there and there's like globs of shit stuck to the fucking wall and underneath the thing. Why? I don't know, that's what I want to know. So I'm like fucking now I'm gagging because I'm like that's not my shit. And I mean, I could not get out of there fast enough and I basically boiled my hands to the bone

to get that whatever was, who knows what kind of shit that. So did they wipe their ass and then accidentally get it on their hand and then reach for more toilet paper and stuff. Probably, that's all I can think of. But it was like Jesus Christ, man. Did you work out after that? Yeah.

Oh, wow. I did. And you wiped sweat off your brown stuff knowing that there's shit particles. No, I haven't touched myself since Good Oh, that's bad. Has that ever anything like that ever happened? I mean you've seen bathroom I And the biggest problem the universe I brought in

Something because I sh- I stepped in like that chocolate cake of shit outside my apartment in sandals. Like a fucking like bum shit. Yeah, or dog shit. Whatever, yeah, that's fucking gross. I've, yeah. When you're in the spot where you're hoping it's one species of shit, you've lost. Yeah.

Okay, this was the article I was bringing in. Crypto market is a giant garbage dumpster. Says Minneapolis Federal Reserve president, who's looking like a psychopath in this picture. He really, really does, doesn't he? He's guys in charge of our money, Sean. This gentleman here with me.

So he's one of the, because there's like, how many Federal Reserve banks are there? I don't know. There's a St. Louis one. There's like seven. I wanna say there's like seven or something. New York. Yeah. The one. There's like seven. I wanna say there's like seven or something. New York.

Yeah. The Minneapolis one's big. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not gonna pretend to know. But here's what he says about the cryptocurrency. Feds cash carry tears into a giant garbage dumpster,

cryptocurrencies. Really can't wait to hear what the Fed has to say about cryptocurrency. Yeah, I'm sure there are. You guys have been in the money business. Sure. I'm sure there are. Yeah, have you figured it out yet? You figured it out yet?

Yeah, you guys, yeah, please teach us your fucking wisdom. You competitive currency. Cryptocurrencies are, quote, like a giant garbage dumpster and lack the basic characteristics of any stable currency. How many of those do we have? Yeah. One, the USD. What is the other one? Are the Chinese ding-dongs? Are they, is that a stable currency now? Is it because it's based, like how many are you counting? Are Chuck E. Cheese tokens? Are is that a stable currency now? Is it because it's based on, like, how many are you counting? Are Chuck E. Cheese tokens? Are Disney bucks a stable currency?

Minneapolis Federal Reserve president, a Neil Keshe-Karri said in an event on Tuesday. The Fed official praised the SEC for cracking down on the coin offering frauds and said, people have been fleeced for tens of billions of dollars how many of it how many of they fleece the american people for for in the last hundred years how much did i rick cost

trillions how much of my getting fleece how much to tarp cost two trillion how much is inflation costing every fucking year that you just decide to do how much of the bank bailouts cost? Billions of dollars? We will shit billions of dollars. Fuck you. You guys, you took all the gold out of America and just kept it and sold it to foreign governments. What the fuck was that called? Cash Carry acknowledged crypto currencies could prove useful in the future, but quickly added that the sector's current status is burning garbage. I mean, I could buy a pretty

big house with all that burning garbage. Yeah. Goodbye, fucking Lamborghini with my burning garbage. What can I do with the dollar? I don't know. The reason that the dollar has value, oh, this ought to be rich. This is like listening to a cigarette company executive talk about their healthy four out of five doctors prefer their brand of cigarettes. Yeah.

Such a fucking scum. And the worst part is is they believe it. That is the worst part that they think what they're saying is true. That economists have turned quantitative easing into a monetary policy. Okay, the reason that the dollar has value is because the US government has a legal monopoly on producing the dollar. Is that why? Is that why it has value? Because the government has a legal monopoly on making it,

it's not because I can walk anywhere and get something of value for it, you stupid fuck. Yeah, well, I know what he said. It's like, yeah, they make it and they only accept the US dollar and they will put you in jail if you don't give them back their paper money. Oh, I see. So when I take my visa card and go into a store and swipe it,

that's because that works because the US government can print money, not because I have a system of telecommunications that moves bits around. Yeah, yeah. And we've both agreed to this. Yeah, yeah. That's not why. Yeah, but he doesn't want the bits.

He doesn't want the bits. They don't want the bits. They don't want the bits, unless it's already the cards, I guess. The war on Bitcoin, the war on cryptocurrency is, it's really, I think it's an IQ test. To listen to these idiots, say, embarrass themselves with stuff like this, vilify a cryptocurrency. Literally, we're asked at a Montana event, whether he would want his one-year-old daughter, this guy is a daughter, the good news is someone's going to fuck the shit out of her one day. When he won his one-year-old daughter to be gifted a treasury bond or a Bitcoin for her next birthday.

What would you say? He would say the treasury bond. Well, what would you say? One year old daughter. I don't fucking know, man. Like, give her a Bitcoin or a treasury bond. I haven't I haven't delved into Bitcoin and how it's doing and what the projections are and how and how.

I mean, you know Treasury bonds, right? Yeah. They pretty much grow at like 3% with inflation more or less, a little bit. Yeah, so it's crummy as investment you can have. It's just, yeah. Okay. So it's either that or... I mean, if it's one, I would expect that I would probably pick the Bitcoin because

it's just got a long time to do other types of investments. Or you could just free money. Yes. Yeah. You could just liquidate the Bitcoin and put it in the stock market. Yeah. 7%. Already better than the bond.

Yeah. When asked, if you would get her a treasury bond or a Bitcoin for an expert day, the Fed chief picked the former, the bond. Say, in cryptocurrencies are like a giant garbage dumpster. Cashkari, praise the dollar's stability. Yeah, you guys just print money when it gets unstable. Yeah. No shit compared with the relatively new crypto sector, maybe five years from now, or 10 years from now, or 20 years from now or 20 years from now. Yeah. Something useful will emerge from this. Well, I mean, then that's a pretty good reason.

I think he's one year old daughter. He just Bitcoin isn't a stupid asshole. Right, because he's going to be a lot of people. That's a fucking point in the question. That's a lot. Yeah, that's funny because you fucking asshole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's still, I think maybe it's still kind of voodoo right now.

What is the dollar? No, the Bitcoin makes sense. No Bitcoin, two people who are selling the dollar. Yes, are selling it right. Yeah, it's voodoo. And it's like that it's like, some people will probably have to come around eventually. Here's a nice little chart I brought in.

Speaking of Bitcoin. Because we don't always talk about it, but I got a bunch of stuff on it for when we do. This up here, US civilian actions, right? You got the Louisiana purchase in 1803, 202 million or something like very small bar, not very much money we spent on that, but the entirety of America, you know, pretty good deal.

The new deal cost $10 billion, big social works program. So converted to 2018. I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 2018. The Marshall Plan, bailing year up out of post-World War II, yeah, that was $126 billion. That's how much we paid to do that. Race to the moon, 145 billion.

All right. Standard and, uh, standard loan crisis in the 80s and 90s that cost 300 billion. That was the end of the economy. This is stacked up against US military actions. The Gulf War 113. You can see the sizes grow that the now Now all those things, those growth projects, the purchasing of the entirety of America dwarfed by every military action. Corrected for current year of June, right? Dwarf like a planet. Like when you see the earth compared to the sun, compared to proximate centauri, compared to beetle juice, right?

Dwarfed, Vietnam war, af Afghan war, half a trillion, Iraq war. Again, this, those graphs put together, again dwarfed. Yeah. By quantitative easing of 2010 up to 2014. Yeah. This is why the reaction to Bitcoin of these clowns is what it is. I guess that's the only reason I brought this.

Yeah, I'm looking out. And this is monetary policy, so I guess good luck. Oh, let's listen to Brad's things. Brad, phone losers. Oh, yeah, you there, Brad? Hey, did come here. Hey, what's up, man? How you doing?

How much? Do you want to set up this clip that you got for us? Yeah, like Riley's been bugging me to do Maddox calls, so I finally did. I called up a landlord, not my own landlord, just some random landlord and pretended to be a tenant. And told her I was a famous podcaster and author named Maddox. Okay. You do?

I guess it's it. Can you just call random people in line? I guess. Yeah, so easy. As long as you know the apartment number, they'll believe you. Can you call busbies and fuck with them for what they did to us? Yeah, definitely. Some of the number, I definitely will do something.

Alrighty, here we go. Here's the phone, those are just print call, Maddox, print call. Great cake, Bethany speaking. How can I help you? Oh, hey, Bethany. How'm a tenant here. This is George. Okay. I was just wondering if I've got all this lumber that you know, I took down one of my walls. You know, I ripped down all the dry wall and pulled out the wall studs and I've got all this wood. Like, do you guys want the apartment? Yeah, do you guys want the wood? Like, why did you do that? Because I'm a podcaster. I just need a more room for my podcast studio. No, you never done that. You're going to be charged. No, no, it's fine. We have cameras set up and there wasn't enough space in here

for all the cameras. So like on one wall, we just ripped out the entire wall and the other wall. We made it like a half wall with a counter to put snacks on. Yeah, but I'm just going to do any modifications like that to an apartment. You're going to be charged for that. Well, that doesn't make sense because the living room area wasn't big enough for a podcast studio because we have to have a table. I have guests sometimes, you know, I have to have room. Right, but unfortunately, you have to do any modifications like that to our apartment. I'm going to use the. Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't know but I'm well, yeah, I'm just letting you know that you should

I'm in apartment 307. I don't know what building that is. I don't know. It doesn't matter Okay, it does matter because you shouldn't hold out a wall in your apartment Well, I'll put it back when I leave but I'm gonna be here for a long time I just moved here not too long ago. I had to move to the woods. Maybe the woods, my old place, sold their house, and they put a pictures of my damn bed sheet on the internet. Right, but I need to know what building you're in, though,

because my manager's gonna need to know you did that. I don't even need you to come over anything. I just want to know if you guys wanted the lumber. I can just throw the lumber in the dumpster. But you're not understanding what I'm saying. It's not something that you know we can just like that. His Heather there is Heather there. She's probably more reasonable. No, she's not here. I'm just letting you know what. She's pretty reasonable. She's pretty reasonable.

But I'm just letting you know that my manager is going to charge you for that. Just so you're aware. Charge me for what? I'm going to put the wall back. I'm going to put the electrical back just where it was that you don't know the electrical out though and the plumber you're not the plumber you are not but i need to be i need to have a but the

a not yes you are i had to have room for a buffet table for the snack if you have room for a buffet table then you should have came in and you should have saw the apartment and if it wasn't big enough then it shouldn't have happened that way but i'd like i'd just plan to you know make the apartment bigger anyway because i couldn't find a

better apartment i'd like this apartment and what i'm letting you know is that you can make modifications the whether you're putting it back or not we are charging the bill you know i'm a famous podcaster i have like a bunch of youtube subscribers and I understand that but what I'm letting you know is that You're trying to affect my livelihood, ma'am I don't know I don't know I don't know which bill is the first one as you come in it's like on the right Yeah, good First one on the right. Okay, what. Okay, first one on the right.

Okay, what's your last name? Why do you have me on speaker? What is your last name? I was a alien. I don't know. I don't know how to pronounce it. Well, how do you spell your last name? I just go by Maddox. I'm a world famous podcaster. I'm a New York Times number one best selling author of a book about grabbing women's asses. Everybody knows me as Maddox. just call me Maddox. But you don't even need my information because you're not coming to my apartment. I'm not inviting you up.

We have every right to go in there if you did modifications and my manager will know. I'm gonna put the apartment back after I'm finished. I'm gonna have to let my manager know and I will have to have her give you a call back. We'll find out. I'm just letting you out. Are you gonna make me put the wall back up

because that's affecting my livelihood? I'm not sure what know. Are you going to make me put the wall back up? Because that's the fact in my livelihood. I'm not sure what she's going to do, but you shouldn't have touched any electrical or anything like that. Okay, I'll just save the lumber for when I move out. And I'll put the wall right back up. Well, you're just being a total bitch about this. I'm just trying to make a living. Okay, don't disrespect me.

That's something that you're not going to do. You're not the Tommy name. I'm just respecting you. You know what's in your lease. You're telling me. I'm not just that you're not gonna do. You're not the Tommy name. You're just a family. I'm not even gonna know what's in your lease. You're telling me. And I'm not arguing with you. Hey, you always call me my bestie mate. And if you're not gonna do that to me,

I'm letting you know. Oh, what's gonna happen? I'm gonna let my manager know we'll take care of it. I'll write a book about you. And I'll publish it and it'll be number one bestseller. Oh, you can write a book about me. That's what I'm gonna say. Yeah, yeah, never know.

I'll make a YouTube video about you. And everyone will be laughing. You think you're big idiot. All fine. That's fine. You can podcast me all you want. I have a lot of poll. I have a lot of poll in the internet community. Hi, I'm Larius. I think that lady is a good by any and I think she had someone listening on the extension or something. Probably. Yeah. I think that was a different lady that was hilarious the first one just slammed down the phone on me you guys are affecting my livelihood my livelihood I called up some other landlords I told one that I took all the plumbing out of the wall because it was

affecting the acoustics yeah my podcast studio. Funny. I told him that when I ripped, I ripped out all the electric because I had some buzz in my headphones, like I took it all the wiring and the entire part. I like how you just slowly doled out the information like all of a sudden it became the electrical and the plumbing, you know, after first it was just the wall, right? And then it was, you don't need to know. Yeah, my favorite. I tend to get more and more ridiculous as they go on. after first it was just the wall right and then it was you don't need to know my favorite.

I tend to get more and more ridiculous as they go on. I want them to just you know realize it's a prank and you're angry about that. I want to listen to another one. What what else can we play of yours Brad right now? Well they're buried in a show. I did a show on Friday with more Maddox calls. They're not what you did. That one was my favorite. They're still all good. You go. Thanks, Dave. Is there another one you could send? I could play right now. Yeah, I'm just Jonesing for more prank calls. Maddox call or just anything call anything, whatever you got. You wanted to ask about my phonetic alpha bed. I had some clip prepared of that. If you want to hear that. Oh God. Yeah. Brad's got this fake phonetic alpha bit. Yeah.

Like where all of the, um, you know, like, like, a alpha B bravo. Oh, yeah. Yeah. For all of them are confusing. All of them were confusing. Oh, that's funny. Dick is like D is in W. I is in I. O. U. C is in Q. K is in. Yeah. Oh, man, I can't see it. No, yeah, K is in. Yeah, D is W. Got it. C of Q. I love that one. But yeah, I've got a couple of those.

You know, when you play one of those, like when I play through the discord. Johnson Brown, he just sent me one. It's Med's girl, wrong department, is that good? Oh, yeah, yeah, play that one instead. Okay, let me play that one. It's funny. It's where I was walking around a Walmart

and I was picking up their phones whenever a customer was paged to a certain department. Oh my God. So the government will kill you one day, right? For having this much fun. They'll sell it in. They'll sell it in. They already fucked with you. Worth it.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm currently a felon for print calls. I'm on five. You do. I'm serving my third year probation right now. You can be a felon for prank calls? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I guess if I can be a raid in my house, I'm currently making prank calls to pay off my restitution for making prank calls. Wow. Really? Every time you try to get out, they pull you back in. Yeah. You got to break the law to recover, right?

To pay off the law. Makes sense. The FBI raided a friend of mine. He lives down the street. He was in prison in there. He was in there. Oh, was this who I know? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's where I met life coach. I worked for his encryption company. The guy's like fucking in his 80s. 80s, something. Yeah. He has, he, you know, he was part of a,

an investment, he was part of a genuine investment in the cell phone spectrum way, way, way back in the day in the 80s, where you had to get $100 million together in investment money and then you could bid on a cell phone spectrum. Yeah. You know, because radio frequency has to be split up and you have to prove that you have the money to bring it to fruition. He got tossed in prison for misrepresenting the investment, which is insane,

because people are investing $100 million, it's kind of on them at that point. He got rated again by the FBI last year, and he says he knew it was coming. He was talking to them constantly, like the local FBI office, like, yeah, whatever you guys need, I'm innocent. I understand that you got to do your job, but whatever guys need, I'm innocent, I understand that you gotta do your job,

but whatever you need, just tell me, and I'll come in, and you talk to them all the time. Still. We wanna kick the door to. Yes, still. They send the whole squad out, to kick his door in at six in the morning. And for what?

Drag his wife out of bed for some fucking cryptocurrency mining business that he put to it was the kind of fraud where they were investing in new technology and it just didn't really work as much as they thought it would. And the original people lost money. Oh, so send the fucking FBI and you morons didn't think there was a possibility of this not working and you other morons, you really need to just kick doors in so he was telling me that every single person the FBI brings in like all the 500 witnesses for the Roger Stone case whoever's they all

get brought in the exact same way. Huh smashing doors down no matter what. I'll be damn. Yeah. Was that your experience, Brad? Well, they were nice enough to knock for me. They knocked twice. Actually, they gave me time to get down two flights of stairs But well, they did it. They did have a metal thing there. I think they were gonna bust down the door with that Yeah, they needed to amazing

Why the fuck do we even pay these assholes? I mean, here we go. Here we go. Hello. This is toys I asked for the pharmacy Well, this is toys. I asked for the pharmacy. Well, this is toys. What were you needing? I need a prescription refill on my medication. We don't refill prescriptions in toys, ma'am. I know. I asked for the pharmacy. I don't know why he transferred me to toys. It was really dumb of you to call toys and ask for a refill on your first description. I didn't stop it. Well, you don't need to get mad at me. It's not my fault. You die. I have the first fucking place. You die of the wrong number. It's not my fault. You don't know how to dial a phone. You know, I'm like, I'm funny, you guys are so excited. Oh my God, that's funny.

There you go. Just screwing with the lady trying to get her prescription. I'm a hawk and hilarious dad. Oh my God. She told me later, there's like three of those calls from that same girl. She told me later that she used to sell percussette. So I felt less bad about the whole thing.

Dude, I have those, I have those kind of phone calls when I get the right department. Where they're fucking with you. No, where they're, where they're honestly that stupid. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Johnston posted part two also. She threatens to blow up the. Oh, good. Oh, God. Sounds like she's getting an FBI visit. Med, Med girl, Meds girl blow up the store. All right, let's play that now. Yeah, she needed the medication. Here we go, Sean.

You ready? Yeah. House where is going to help you? So wait, you're just in Walmart and the phone rings and you pick it up. Yeah, I got like a little microphone in my ear and it just picks up everything. And I get busted every once in a while.

Like an employee comes up to me and's like, hey, what are you doing? Like, oh, I was just trying to call my wife, that's all. Ha ha ha ha. Okay, here we go. House where is, can I help you? Okay, you know what? I just called last time and the guy transforming into toys.

I don't know who you have, but there are customers, service, transferring people. He sure as a fuck doesn't not have transfer people. I asked him to transfer me to the pharmacy. He's gonna stop. He's gonna stop. My house where not twice. transferring people he sure as a fuck does not have transfer people i think the transfer my house where not quite can you please transfer me to the pharmacy what you don't know the wrong number this is how's where's oh my god well i didn't know a number i was transferred

what you transferred to the wrong place can it can i have what you need to get out someone who knows how to fucking transfer people come up with one dollar number the most i can't first of all that i don't have a number i don't want to work every single day and they transfer me correctly but i think they can't for people need to do job

what would would like me to help you uh... by a vacuum cleaner which is like a transfer in a form to a conformity deploy coming there and blow up your fucking store. Oh, we only saw that. Sounds like you do God damn. Because I just sell vacuum cleaners. Do you want a vacuum cleaner? Jesus Christ. Oh, no, or is this the same girl percuss that?

Yeah, I don't think that one's really that good. I don't remember. I haven't heard in a long time. We'll be the judge of that. Let's see. Hello, this is the pharmacy. Can I help you? She finally got it through. Now it's like God. So you're in the pharmacy the whole time, right? Well, no, I'm like, you know, I hear the overhead store thing asking to pick, you know, pharmacy pick up line two. So I could just go to any phone in the store and pick up line two.

Oh, that's how that works. Okay, here we go. Yeah. Hello, this is a pharmacy. Can I help you? Hi, I need to get a prescription code. Okay, what's the name? I guess it's your boyfriend or something. You know, I'm pretty sure it's an angel. It's a bunch of people. Definitely worth it, right? It's a bit soft. You do it.

Hello. Hello. Yeah, it's for prenatal vitamins. Oh no, it shows here per cassette. No, I don't have per cassette. Did you type in tr... Yeah, that's the name of... Reunatal vitamins. 500 percassettes.

I probably gave her an obscure 500 percassette. Come on, man. If you sell these, you can make a lot of money. You may as well just pick them up and sell them to people. I'm sorry. What did you say? It's worth a lot of money. Do you get this on your insurance?

Yeah, I probably do. Oh, well, there you go. It must be some sort of an error in the computer. So if you pick these up, you can sell these percassettes. I don't know how much they go for street value, but you can make some. I know how much they go for. I sell pills. I know how much they go for. You sell pills? What's your name again? Yeah. I used to sell pills in California. Yes.

How much a percussette worth? Maybe we could work out a deal here. So it shows here 500 percussette in the computer. It's a lot of percussette. Okay. Can you just have that prescription filled by tomorrow, please? You don't care what you get? Nope. I should ask. Okay. Yeah. It'll be ready by 10 a.m. All right, thank you.

Oh my God. What a fucking great family to the who is back or something. What is your problem? Ha ha ha ha ha. That is fucking outrageous. Man, what a great, what a great life, Fred must leave. It's fucking hilarious.

Just fucking with that phone. Thank you. We did the same thing at Target, but they have this cordless phone in their photo department. Yeah. So I bought the same cordless phone from that target. And I had them synchronize my handset with their base station.

And we just sat out in the parking lot and answered their phone. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, and we just sat out in the parking lot and answered their phone. Hahaha. Just the kind of brain that thinks like this. Like I don't relate to this shit. Grievinal thinking, yeah, it really is. It's like it's creative in a way that most people are not. It's one probation.

Yeah, you deserve to be locked up. You got off lucky. You're a man, man. I did. What's your what's your site and stuff, Brad? I did two shows a week on the snowplash show. It's snowplashshow.com and then there's other shows on phone losers.com. Okay. Phone losers.com. Thanks for thanks for that man. Fuck. I appreciate it. That's great. Yeah. send you the voice. Yeah. Thank you. Call my invoicing department. The help you out.

Yeah, yeah, right. Yeah. Seriously send me that number though. I will. Okay. Goodbye. I have an idea. Okay.

I'll bet you do. I'll send it to you. Bye. All right. Thanks, thanks, Dick. Bye, Sean. See ya. You know the worst thing about the Buzzfeed. he's a mad man. He's crazy.

The guy called me the first guy who called me to talk about the getting canceled. He called me from there He blocked his number when he called me so I couldn't call him back and scream at him afterwards Oh, yeah, okay, let me another maybe he does watch the show. He knows how much you yell I was very upset and then I had a very angry Pilates experience. I really hate being angry and doing Pilates. Rage Pilates. It's just so unsatisfying. Yeah. This is from Butterbar.

Hey, Dick, so Ryan had a decent idea there with the biggest problem reboot. But he just failed because he lacked the raw charisma and testosterone needed to match Maddox. Wow. I have that and I can blow you away in problems with stats. I quickly Googled and Wikipedia articles on fallacies that I skimmed. Give back to me if you really want to take me on. I'm Butterbar on your discord. Very respectfully go fuck yourself. So I guess I'm doing it taking all comers now Okay for who wants to reboot the biggest problem in the universe butter bar. Sweet butter bar. Are you there?

You're muted on your Yep, there you are. All right. Let's do this shit. All right, you know what? Let me let me find the original intro Hold on hold on hold on show no no no no welcome to the biggest problem in the universe the show where we discuss every problem in the universe from corrodabirus jokes to podcast price quotes with zero downloads this is the only show where you can decide how much spaghetti I spill with an autistic showpiece. I'm Butterbar with me, Terah. He sleeps with an

X's dick and Sean, our audio engineer. All right, what's up buddy? I'm in. All right, so let's just get straight into this shit. All right, so um, biggest problem in the universe. But uh universe it's definitely traffic it's how much traffic we have or out there are right and you were talking about this earlier on the show you know traffic it's that thirty-minute driving area i know what that's like men but you know that doesn't have to be the problem if you've been to anywhere outside like you've been to japan right you know

that uh... public transportation they got yeah i've been to Japan. Yeah, I'm talking about. It's amazing, right? Yeah, have you been to Japan? It's a pan. Maddox. Or a butter bar? Well, yeah, I know my wife's actually from Japan, so I've been there a couple times. Okay. Yeah, but um, did you go to Hawaii? Sorry. Did you go to Hawaii while you were there?

Oh, no, I didn't go to Hawaii and I'm very happily married. You were hosting the show here. I'm the go to Horror Island. I'm very happily married to that one. Who's hosting the show here? He is, Butterbarr is. You're not letting him host the show. I know, but that was my deal and the original one too. Remember I would constantly interrupt and Mattak would give really pissed off of me?

Yeah, that's true. Okay, go ahead. I'm sorry. Traffic in Japan. Okay, no, no, no, no, no. So traffic in general is a problem. And the real problem, if you think about it, is just how bad it is, like with how many cars we have. If you look at this, it's just a fear. So let me Google it real quick. Okay. Okay.

All right, yeah. So there's about 91% of people in the US commute to work with their car. All right. Right. In most countries, it's around 50, 50, use public transportation and use, you know, cars. It's a flame. That's why there's not as much traffic. If you go to most of these countries, even with much higher population density, I see.

Well, the higher population, it's a higher population density in the US or in other countries. No, no, no, no, no. So other countries have a higher population density in the u.s. or another country no no no no no no so other countries have a higher population density but they don't have as bad traffic as we do well yeah because they use because they use public transportation is there a population so that's what we need to really adopt here that's what what we should we should cram everybody into little cities so we can use subways and is that what you're saying no no no we don't have to cram people into cities dick all right listen to this. Bicycle, it's just the fact if we add public transportation,

you know, if we have these trains that can take us around, that will solve that problem. You know what I mean? Why don't you stay home? I was like, I read recently, I read recently that people work an average of two and a half hours a day. Oh, yeah, I'm sure.

That sounds right. That's the bell curve. And some people are less serious. Some people are less serious. Those statistics, I don't know if those are true dick. Well, okay. And I've never heard them. I've never read them.

Yeah. Is this feeling like the old Joe? So, yeah. Go ahead. Exactly. So, if you look at it, like, let me bring up another statistic. Do you know that 36,000 people in the US are killed in car crashes? No, I didn't know that.

How many people are killed by the flu? I don't know, it's probably less than that. And you really don't have to worry about coronavirus if you really think about it. Because there are more people killed by... There's about 8,000 killed by the flu. Something around there. A day or a year? No, no, about a year. Okay. I think it's more. It's some number. I didn't get to have time to google that one. I'm

just making no about it. He's got the order of magnitude. Yeah, exactly. But six thousand of these are pedestrians and eight hundred, five to these seven of these are cyclists. So if you think about it, like let's just say, like you sold your hard work in comedian, you sold your car, you really can't afford to live out there. And you just had to get that bicycle, right? And that's just the only way you can really get around because you just can't afford it.

You might have been like, a former New York Times best seller, haven't been done in your luck so much, and you just had to get that. Well, now there's a really solid chance that you're gonna get killed and get this. In 2018, there was a 29.2% increase in women killed while cycling.

Why? Why? Why? Because just cars are just dangerous. So you think about it. It's like, why was there that increase though? And why women? Yeah, why women?

I honestly, I don't know if I could tell you that. But I mean, women, you don't know, your drivers, they're probably also not good cyclers. So there, women are driving into traffic at a high, 30% more women were just driving into traffic that year. Yes. Is that true? Is that that true?

That is that status 100% that that true? Yes. That is 100% true. I did quickly. As far as he knows. As far as he knows. Seems like it's from a reliable source. Okay. 30% increase in women dying from that.

If they get a win to that, you know, there's going to be a lot more women that are just going to be afraid to cycle. To cycle. And that's another factor. Exercise that they're going to get left out of. And then we're just going to get more lizos out of this. That's true. I did see something saying that women are that cycling is sexist and somehow

preventing women from cycling. But there's something inherently sexist about cycling. And we've got to address that. Yeah, because I'm sure that and ladies, those are always my favorites, right? It's something is inherently racist or something is inherently sexist or it's like, you are, you have the mental gymnastics that you have to do to take care of. Well, hold on, there was one, I wrote this down to bring in. It was a millennial survey.

Here we go. Millennial men are more accepting than ever, but they still won't do laundry. It was complaining about how Millennial men don't do household tasks. It's like, yeah, because you guys just bitch nonstop about how dirty everything is. You're compelled to put shit away. Anyway, yeah, go ahead. I'm sorry, Butterbar. What were you saying?

No, no, no, no, don't worry about it So there was a when you know because we're gonna get more and more fat women And you know, I know you love big tits, right? But I mean if you you don't really want fat chicks around with those big tits No, that's false tits. That's fake. That's fools tits Exactly. Exactly. So it gets scared away from cycling Which is another form of exercise that they can do. It's just going to get worse.

So that's a problem that we really got to fix. Okay. So traffic cause a 30% increase in female cyclist death, which is making women fat. I can tell you're sold. I'm sold. I can tell you're sold. That's the worst part about traffic. That women are getting fat. You've nailed it. Exactly. He almost I

Think you're almost dick master said. Yeah, not Maddox. Yeah, you're not Maddox at all That's the problem with this reboot. Well, let's we'll see what people think hopefully they'll be kinder to you than they were to Ryan I thought they were very kind to Ryan. You know, 80s girl even said I think reddits think Reddit's being very kind to him. And at that moment, I got an email from Zane. I didn't know. I shouldn't do it anymore. I don't know. They were nice to him. I looked over it and they said like,

he was like a make a wish kid on there. Oh, Jesus Christ. All right, Bob Bar. Thank you. You got more? You got more? One more point. One more point?

So if you really think about it, especially let's go back to Japan just real quick. Okay. One more point? Yeah, I go ahead. If you really think about it, especially, let's go back to Japan just real quick. Okay. So, I am a big fan of the alphabet of manliness with all of this. And if you remember, see is cop of feel, right? Right.

If you think about it, when you're on those, you were on those transports during, you know, high traffic hours when there's just a lot of people crammed on in there. Yes. Yeah. Think about just how easy it is to get a cop of feeling. And like I said, my wife is from Japan.

She's had a couple of fields copped on her and it's just a normal part of their culture there and we can adopt that into it. If we just take on more public transportation. Okay, so mobile government subsidized rape assault vehicles. Well, no, not rape. Rape happens on our public transportation So, mobile government subsidized rape assault vehicles. Well, no, not rape. Rape happens on all public transportation

because it's just one whole bow in you and that car and you know, he really wants to get it on. So, more sophisticated, groping. Exactly. That is exactly. Okay, well, that's with plausible deniability. A plausible deniability, yeah, I got you. Exactly, and it just becomes worked into the culture.

Okay, I love it. It's a normal thing. I love it. Do you want to play the theme? Play yourself off with the theme? I actually haven't listened to that much, but a big problem in the universe, like at all. So I don't actually know what the end theme is.

It's the same. Okay, here, let me get it going. Give me a sec. It's the same zone. Okay, yeah, no, I got it. Go ahead. All right. Have you ever been groped on the subway, Sean?

No, no. Uh-huh. Oh, oh, you grabbed my buns. How fucking dare you? OK. OK. That's not the sign. No, it's about a cloth. No, no, no, no, play the, yeah, play the actual outro. The actual outro. Play the actual song. No, it's Sean is falling apart. It was going so well. I know. I don't think that's the song either.

Okay. All right. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Oops. Oops.

Funny. Who vanished? Okay. Everybody. This is him in the Dixho. Yeah. The Dixho. Do I have anything else to add here?

I want to thank Ari for coming in reading the news. Yeah. Thanks to Brad. Oh my god. She's like, what does she like, one for five? No, I think she's like one for four eight. What? Four for four seven. Ari. Oh, yes, yes, yes. She's usually pretty good. I don't know what happened. Yeah. Sorry. I'm getting her mixed up. Yes, yes, yes, she's usually pretty good. I don't know what happened. Yeah, sorry, I'm getting her mixed up. Yeah. See you next Tuesday.

This is a song by Jarbo, MC Jarbo and LeCembre. They teamed up for this one. How about that? God damn. People are like mats out there flagging hundreds of videos. I see next Tuesday. No, I didn't.

Yes you did. Stop lying. It was just perpetual bullshit. Stop lying. Just fucking lies. No, you know,. Yes you did. Stop lying. It was just perpetual bullshit and stuff. Stop lying, stop lying. Just fucking lies. No, you know, Matt flagged me down. No, I didn't. I didn't do anything.

Yeah. It's me, I want to watch out. Hey, what's going on, everyone? I'm Matt. Although pretty much everyone I know just calls me Faggot. I really don't understand. People are still mad. Don't get to see me rebranded

It mattes turning the new leaf man But I guess people are pissed Just having a dead channel Pretty much everyone calls me We can have this for like a year straight and still believing What is not enough punishment for being this whole of shit No, but I'm still flagging And as a result, I'm still begging your groceries

On my Walmart weekend shift Fucking sucks, but it has to be done. And at least now I'm giving people what they actually want. Next class is you robbing the carpet, still cleaning the toilets, still putting out garbage, still nobody's watching. I don't even have an opinion. No, you couldn't pay me to be honest. If honesty was worth 3 million, don't answer.

But I'm not resilient, at least when it comes comes to fast shaving and raising a bunch of fucking black children That will probably grow up and shoot me in the back I'll just be a copless diabetic if I'm cramped damn strong shit I'll add you into the block list and then I'll bring about the fucking false flag I'll go like this and see whenever I'm near. There's a pretty good chance your critique will mysteriously disappear I'm flat, I'm a fuck Oh, I'm flat, motherfucker. Flat and fuck, oh, make your heart come. Dad, that's what I do.

Seven days a week. Flat, motherfucker, his flat, motherfucker. Anything Lequimbers involved in is catchy as fuck. Flat, motherfucker. I always say that I live in middle hooks. They're always there. Dad, that's what I do. Make your heart monocized, motherfucker.

So shut your trap before a flat, you decide. You don't know what you have till it's gone I used to have some kind of appeals now. I pealed no one I used to have a great time now I never have fun. I used to wash every day. Now it's five days a month. I used to be in shape Now I just have a head like a thump. I used to get laid now. I get the bed and she's done used to have I have one used to have two colors of the dry. I have one. I used to have two pink and now I have none. I used to hate and stack cheese. Now I gotta open up these ass cheeks

to pay the producers for these fat beats. Apart from the fucking black meat, I'm getting used to eating exactly the same shit that the cats pop out about. So you can add some gasoline, just to buy some Vaseline and a bunch of NMUs from the local All Greens, but I can't do it without some piece of shit

asshole standing there, yelling a wait a minute F**k off, I'm a f**kery F**k off, make your f**k up Dad, that's what I do, seven days a week F**k off, I'm a f**kery His f**k, mother f**kery F**k off, dad I'm a f**kery

Yeah, I'm a f**kery Dad, that's what I do Now, demonize, mother f**kery, yeah That's what I do, no, demonetized Motherfucker, so shut your trap before I flag you too So you're blockin' man flaggin' take out I hit on these kids Fuckin' right, I'm just like the kids, man Please, I'm talkin' about the haters Hey, there ain't bad echo, Ralph faces and dick

They talkin' shit, and they take em' out with the clique Grips, creaks, the trigger like you squeeze the comin' And he ain't seein' the blood, You take a shot and break that you hear him shit I think you might be getting the taste for the life Take the knife to a rock in the back Like a car, like a car You know what, maybe it's better if I test it too much Would I want it to end up on a watch list

No way to help out this and the song is now blocked In a variety of countries And rapper Jabba's got a stomach in the back My style and he'll make a channel disappear like it's nothing this semiforic war is all that he has left anymore So be warned, he'll treat your channels like he does a newborn and just fuck Wait what? What just happened? Oh shit man I can't eat this flag

You fucking know it Fuck your own flag on the fuckers Fly and fuck your maker of the dead That's what I do You saying the end word? Fly on the fuckers His flag on the fuckers His flag on the fuckers

Fuck the life of the dead I'm not there I thought I heard it though I'm not there I thought I heard it though He's the one And fuck the fuck on the fuckers That's what I do

Demonize mother fuckers Who shut your trap before I flag you too I get into bad when she's done. Hahaha. Hahaha. Great. Just wonderful. Oh, it was Poli.

Poli the polar bear was saying that, and we... Really? Yeah, he's a little racist polar bear. Puppet. Where did he come from? Matt, he came from the mind of Monday and Matt. Oh, he created, you didn't know about that? No. He created a little puppet that's a polar bear.

Really? That just says really racist things. For real? Yeah. There's just videos that he made. Really? Holy the polar bear. Is a racist polar bear.

I mean, I can't even play it because there's so many in here. I guess, does he ever fight with like a black bear or anything or anything? Uh, no, there's nothing self-aware or ironic or funny about it. Okay. Just the, just a racist polar bear. Yeah, he intended the joke. Uh, holy the polar bear was just a very racist puppet. Uh, the polar bear.

I can't play it because it's, yeah. It's just, it's too many end bombs. I'll get kicked off. He does like a, The fuck? Like a word of the day. And it's the N word. Gotcha.

That's what Matt put out is comedy. God damn. It's unclear what the joke is. Yeah. Huh. I couldn't justify the joke is. Yeah. I couldn't justify it in court. Right. Was this funny? I don't know. Man.

It's just a guy saying the inward. Yeah, some people find, some people get crucified for that shit. Yeah. Uh, have to be a big cross, though. Let's do some voicemails here. Do do do. And then we're done. Done man. I'm fucking out a big cross though. Let's do some voicemails here. Do do do and then we're done. Done man. I'm fucking outta here Sean.

Out of here. Fucking done. God, this is the fucking, like, himber man. Dude's got a fucking knack. I know, he's incredible. Catchy shit. Here we go. Cause I know he made that beat, right?

I mean, it's, he must have. Yeah, I mean, it sounds like his stuff. Yeah. Here you go. Here's a blast from the past. made that beat right i mean it's he must have yet i mean it sounds like his stuff here's a blast from the past alfride day to your boys this be bono no way i'm coming to you with a rage of me own me rages people who inject themselves into conversation with well technically

uh... we're also know you're with this particular brand of social parasite. They live in the periphery of conversation with nothing useful to contribute. However, you will find yourselves in the midst of making a point when all of a sudden here comes Brandon with his big brain and pathetic hamster like genitalia. Oh, thank God Brandon is here to shepherd us all into the light. You may have been speaking unknown certain terms but brandon is a pedantic subhuman who sense of self worth is predicated on

his ability to the real conversation with useless information and that's my rage as always made a road rise up to meet you may the wind always be at your back and may the sunshine warm upon your tiny face. Bano out. Oh, thanks, Bano.

Holy shit, that's a blast from the past, all right. I hope that Brandon's a real guy. He's talking about it. Bano. This be Bano. I love Bano. I fucking hate landlords. They know that you're late on rent because your bank automatic painted to them

for some reason they go through and so they send you a letter instead of calling you or email you because they're stuck in 1965 so they say hey we charged you a late piece by sending your rent plus two days or two dollars per day after that so fuck you for Instead of emailing. For the mail, so that we get two to three more days of waste fees. Yeah, yeah. Put on this charge. And by the way, if you don't get this filed by the middle of the fucking month, I think I was going to go.

And the mail in the middle of the month, we might take you to both lanes, so let's go. Because you know the hundred fucking dollars. Fuck those bills. And again, just send it fucking email. This fucking call me, you know what,, they have no real advantage, but property. Fuck you, I can't help them, I think it's retarded. Good part, you thought.

Yeah, the UPS store did that to me, where we have the PO box. Like, they charged me once a year, and I guess they didn't have my credit card number on file, so I went down to check the box and goes, oh, you're late on your payment, and that's 20 bucks to you. Yeah, And you're like, why don't you just call me? Right. Like, because I know eventually you're going to come back and want your stuff.

And then they're going to be like, oh, well, you're past due. So $20 because $20 that, because I missed it, like, not a warning in ahead of time. I wonder how many. Yeah. All my fucking people that happens with it. Couldn't give me a call. Hey, your credit card's fucked up. Oh yeah, okay. Now you should be looking at your statements and seeing if things were going through or not.

Oh, I wasn't getting charged by UPS for this year. Like my taxes, is it was the annual UPS contract renewal time where I have to come in and sign a fucking form. Thanks. Thanks a lot. Remember, you always have to do everyone else's a fucking form. Right. Thanks. Thanks a lot. Remember, you always have to do everyone else's job. Yeah. That's, that's the world today.

And you got to give them a tip. You have to, yeah, you have to do everyone else's job. I do it on a daily basis. Yeah. Sean, last night, let me see when she texted. Oh, she oversled. She was coming. Like the yesterday at 8 p.m. is when she said she was coming, 8.40 p.m.

So between last night at 8.40 p.m. and today at noon, just something happened. Well, I mean, you know what can happen after 8.40 p.m. and noon the next day. I was up all night doing drugs. I'm here.m. and noon the next day. I was up all night doing drugs. I'm here. Yeah, but you're very few people have that kind of dedication and experience. That's a good point.

Yeah. Okay, what else do I do? It's not for everyone. This lifestyle is not for everyone. No. True. Alrighty, here we go. Dick, what makes me a rage is find find hookup on Valentine's Day. You want to bar a

single. That'd be it all. I've heard my odds. Basement's going on out here. You go out, meet some people. Have a good time. Then the next four hours listen to somebody. Unload all of their total problems on you. What did you think was going to happen? You said I'm like, yep, I can take this in. Sure. If there was a day called, a miscarriage day, it would still be less pathetic

than Valentine's Day. We've all done it, but what was it going to be? Yeah, the other night, when things are lying down, they say, hey dude, you know I'm not gay, right? And that's where it was arranged in the whole fucking works. Oh, he's gay? Why the fuck were you writing my fucking knee like you're trying to lie to fire at the bar?

The whole night, if you totally were not into that you're Get the fuck were you chatting me up like I was your fucking mom. Yeah, you're definitely fucking time Why on earth would you think that why on earth would you think of do with the fair and listen to you that fucking long That's yeah, shit. He's lying. He's in like you he's definitely get yourself get the fuck out of here who is this people voicemail dudes that are all this are just as bad as fucking women yeah yeah we fuck get the fuck out of here Jesus Christ everything's awful go fight. He got jerked around a valentine game. Yeah, man.

Yeah, by a lying homosexual guy lied about not being gay after using him to listen to his problem. Yeah. He feels much better. Matter of fact, he feels so much better. He's not even gay anymore. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha.

That's the, there's no pray the gay away. It's like it's just, you know ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha uh... that booty judge guy running for president is gay i didn't know that about that uh... president yeah i mean that's not gonna happen does anybody else know about that or just you know that no it's people know that that guy's gay it's a surprise to some people but yeah that's you know it's gonna be a hell of an election

i don't i don't get it's just you this uh... bloomberg's worth like sixty billion dollars right yeah Yeah. It's gonna be a hell of an election. Okay, let me ask you this. Bloomberg's worth like $60 billion, right? Yeah. Why would this, have you heard him talk? Yeah. It's like Niles from Frazier. Like they made the Frazier spin off

and they, because he's such a fopish, like know it all, elitist. They brought in Niles to humanize Frazier. That's what they did. I know, he's even more than, yeah. Yeah, Utah, like, oh, well, I used to tell my mother that it's funny that made her win it's Crabbelin. She said, don't be ridiculous, Michael.

Niles is even stiffer. Yeah. Funny. Why would a guy worth that much money choose to be made fun of by Trump for an entire year. What would be the point of that? You know what? I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe Bloomberg does? Maybe he's got a great sense of humor. And he's just like setting him up. He's Republican, right? You got me.

I don't understand it. If I had $60 billion, the last thing I would want is to be made fun of by Donald Trump for an entire year. I wouldn't talk to anybody ever again. No. Go to my own island and my own island chain. Yeah. Yeah.

What would you rather do? Have Trump make fun of you for a year or the other one? Whatever it is. The other one. Trump to make fun of you for a year or the other one whatever it is the other one I don't want Trump to make fun me in front of the entire world for years That's so funny Just listen to him talk the other one well you know I remember back when I was a child we would would meet at our vacation house, but we showed up at the wrong one.

Well, he didn't grow up rich. I mean, it doesn't matter. He's talking about their housekeeper and things have changed now. He didn't grow up a billionaire. He didn't grow up rich. No, he was talking about housekeepers. Yeah. No, he was.

I mean, he was housekeepers. No, they were okay from what I understand. I didn't have no housekeepers growing up. He started making, I think he started making money in his 40s. I didn't have a housekeeper playing Scrabble with my mom. Because he's talking about as a child? Yeah, housekeepers, I don't have to listen to it.

I look, I just, I don't get it. Okay, what else do we have here? Jake, I have a message for all the versions and the version contest. Okay. I just remember this one thing that helped me up. I won't say when, but it was in high school. And I thought that programmers were super geniuses, like people like Steve Jobs, or were so much smarter than me, and I could never do that.

But I think the thing that you need to realize is like, they're everyone is just a person like eat. Scientists aren't so much smarter than you. They're just a bunch of fucking, and scared retard just like you. No're just a bunch of fucking and scary cards just like you. No. It doesn't fucking matter. Everyone's fucking same. It's not the same. You can do whatever you want. No. It's not that hard. Anything that you can think of that someone did. Not that hard.

It's not your fucking achievement. Okay. You can go fuck yourselves, okay? No. Figure it out. Go fuck yourself. No, they're better than you. They're much smarter than you. Not everybody can do everything. In fact, very few people can do anything.

I've said this for years. I've always said, most people are not particularly good at anything. No, they just exist. Yeah, they're okay at stuff. Science is pretty much. If you could see it, you could see it. They're okay at a lot of stuff like this, but most people are not particularly good at anything. Let's do one more. Two more, two more, two more. All right this one is that poor Larry hey Fucking people Who fucking say All white

They're all that's enough for He had to call in while he was crossing the street Yeah, fucking traffic because fucking dog, are you stole or is stupid? I know this fucking girl. Oh, fuck. God, I threw this girl. She's like the most basic fucking guy in the goddamn world. Really hasn't no idea.

You know that chirping sound from blind people across the street? It's still like that. It the road. It feels like that. It's mysterious. I'm just juiced more. So I make up for that. They go. You're right.

So I give you a simple problem. It's simple like kind of thing. How many yards are in 36 inches? I made the whole complicated thing. I gave four Catholics a gift that I felt out. Which took her about 10 minutes. I'll be trying can't know how conversions work suck my cock it's why he's it's they think that you

can't but i think they're all smart it's going to be so i'm looking at it or jerking or jerking or jerking uh... okay

there you go. That ended with a whimper. Sure. You don't sit there and think, maybe I could give this. I could wait. Right, right. Get to my car. Up.

Too busy. I gotta call one. Gotta be done now. Well, thank you for the voicemail. One more. They're gonna fuck Bernie over though, right? Yeah, probably. Yeah.

I'm calling it since day one. Yeah. They changed the super delegate rule so that now they can't vote first, but if the election is contested, then they vote. Hmm. Yeah, I wonder what's going to happen. Hey, Dick and Sean, I'm listening to the biggest problem in the universe for the third, fourth time, and I'm realizing as I'm listening to it, that I used to be a manox because he always

has his silly die by his principles bullshit. And I would like that in my teenage years. Sure. Thank God I grew out of it. Yeah, possibly. It's a part of being a witness. So awareness. I don't know. Thank God I grew out of it. Yeah, probably as a part of being a big show. I don't know.

But that's one of the things I used to do is because we all hate daily savings. It was a problem. It's a big problem. I have always hated it. I would refuse to change the clocks on all of my devices. Yeah, I'm going to show them. I have a big stand against my devices. Yeah. I'm going to show them with that. I have like a big stand against daylight savings. Yeah.

And it was just the dumbest shit because I would look at the clock and see it's 6 p.m. And in my mind, I'd be like, oh well, it's actually 5 p.m. Because everyone else around me is operating to 5 p.m. It's very Christmas. I'm making the cauldron anyway in my head. Yeah. Literally no point in what doing what I was doing it's just the most it's the most maddox

I do not think your baby is cute it's a bad thing to be ugly he would take a girl out and do all this great shit for her on Valentine's Day and then does not say the words Valentine's Day yep you're already doing the thing everyone is doing, what is your role?

Oh, no, but you see a bit smarter than you. It's going to do. I need to touch it. It's a panic sheet. It really does do that too, anyway. Maybe we all have the potential to become or become a manics or become a dick. No. Yes.

Uh, the difference is all if, if Maddox's mom had hung one of his drawings as a child on the fridge and said, good job. Uh, he would be totally different person. Yeah, he would be a successful telemarketing, uh, programmer and you're still. Well, congratulations on your, on your breakthrough. 120,000 dollars a year or whatever he would have been making. Yeah. All right, everybody, see next Tuesday. See ya.

All right, you got to get one last thing. Yeah, if his mom had hung him, his life also would have been better. Oh, not just hung the drawing on the refrigerator, it hung him from the refrigerator. One of those rare win-win situations. Yeah, if your mom had hung, right. Either him or his drawing.

Right. Then it, it, improvement. Either side of that choice. Yeah. It's a win. It's a win for everyone. That's all I had to say. Thank you, Sean.

Well done. Goodbye.