The Dick Show - Episode 195 - Dick on Blowing Up

Episode Date: February 25, 2020

I nearly blow myself up, Busby's uses the f-slur, why Russia hates us, Sean walks in on me in the bathroom, Karl calls in about bestiality, differently-abled models, I use the wrong name at a party, Ryan Long calls in, a guy who makes his own liquor, Sean-feld, Warren Buffet, how many drugs are in their system, and King Richard makes a prank call; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Very addictive. One of the most harmful substances known to man is liquid, liquefied pornography. There we go. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right.

That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. Yeah! Welcome to the day, if you want diggin' diggin' diggin' love to give you the outta this like, yeah whatever is a contest. Come to your life for a mountain bunker deep in the heart of the city of failure. I'm your house, dick, smash, it's an AK, the $20 million man!

Blood of America's worst Mexican, 45 weeks running, joining me as always is world touring LA-based comedian, I'm turning into Michael Bluffer. Five weeks running, joining me as always is world touring LA based comedian. I'm turning into Michael Bluffer. Sean the audio engineer. Hello, dick. What's up, buddy? How you doing? Good.

Wow. Big week. I started my own venue, Sean. Hot damn. Hot damn is right. I started my own venue. When do you get banned from your own venue? Any day now.

Any day now. any fucking day now I got a reply from bus fees. I hope you got a lot of bus fees. I hope you have insurance You're gonna have to level that fucking you know what here's what's funny. I started my own insurance company too Yes, yeah, okay Insurance company won't won't underwrite me right so I had to start my own insurance company won't underwrite me. Right. So I had to start my own insurance company too. So long as you're in bed together. And but my insurance company won't, the bank won't cash my checks that I have to pay myself

to underwrite my liability. I see. So I had to start my own currency. So really what we end up with is just a guy with a warehouse. Yeah. Right. I got to a warehouse in a dream.

And a series of of a series of names that I came up with. Oh, okay. I broke my leg of your venue. Well, talk to the insurance company. That's me. Right. Okay. Well, where can I hear you go? Here's a bunch of dickles for you. You're seeing that show gum ball on the up and up. You've seen that show gum ball. That child, children's cartoon. Fuck no. I watch adult programming. That shows fun, like white people. That shows white people. That's what I watch. That show is actually really funny for adults. Yeah, it is.

For adults. Yeah, it's disgusting. It's very, it's very aware. But there's one guy in town, I don't know his name, but there's one guy who has every job in town. Like Andy's. Yeah, he's like the only guy who works. Yeah.

It's like the video's crazy. Or the, I think he? Yeah, he's like the only guy who works. Yeah. And it's like the video straights or the... I think he's a cardboard box. Oh. I can't remember. He's got like a box head or something like that. All ethnicities. Carbohydra. He's brownish.

Okay. Yeah. Makes sense. Yeah, he does everything. Soaking up the problems of society, like a cardboard box. Anyway, what were you saying? Why is it funny?

That's it. Oh, that's it. It was like, yeah, it was, I don't know, whatever you were talking about, I can't remember. You know, it makes me rage is, whenever there's like a children's thing, I don't know if they still do this, but adults will get together and pat each other

on the dicks and say, and you know what, and there's just enough, there's enough adult humor for mom and dad too. Well, you know what, it's a good for the kids. There's enough adult humor for mom and dad too. You know what, it's good for the kids. There's enough adult humor for mom and dad. Some shows I don't think, some shows I don't think are for kids. Like Bigmouth?

I don't know Bigmouth. I see people online flipping out about Bigmouth, the show's thing, it's like degenerate. And this is what they're showing kids. Like no, motherfucker, this is what they're showing adults. Did you ever see King Julian series from Dreamworks? I certainly did not.

We ran like five or six years. Dude, there's one episode about a concentration camp. Really? There's a whole or against it. They were just in it. They were in. Oh, yeah. It was just kind of either way.

Oh, yeah, no, because King Julian is on that. So he definitely deserved to be in a camp. I couldn't believe some of what they got away within there. So it's because we did that show, and I know the writers, and they're like, they always always. And they're like, here's the thing. I said, how did you guys get that shit, Doug, from who, yeah, very, you know, from who best I know, from,

I said, how do you guys get that shit in there? And they go, well, you just gotta give, you gotta give S and P the really fucking obvious ones that you don't care about. And you sneak in the really clever ones and they just go, oh yeah, we okay, change this and change this. Bam, it's like, there was shit where it's like,

oh my fucking god, how did you guys get that through? So you give them, you give them like a sandwich and throw out some obvious ones. Some of those, some of those things that you're saying are they are for adults because the adults are writing it to entertain themselves. Okay, I still hate it. Yeah, I still hate hearing it.

And their humor though is for adults too. It's because they have to have teen Titans go on, 24, 7 because their kid loves it. Yeah, it's like a real cope. Yeah. Well, it is. Did the kids put enough adult humor in there for you? Yeah.

Yeah. Here's the email from BuzzBee's, Hey Dick, following your representations, this is after last week's show. Your representations? Yeah. Someone got their law degree from the Lionel Hut school. Well, first you represented yourself one way and then another way entirely. I don't even know who you are anymore.

How hard is it to have a fake funeral for an asshole? Hard. Hi, Dick, following your representations and acknowledging that your guests may have already incurred costs, which they did. Fucking did, because you rented me a venue and signed a contract after weeks of fucking around, of Jiggery Pokerie. We are prepared to make our venue available and host the event on the following basis. They've given me a one period and then a parentheses.

Oh, both. Yeah. Couldn't decide which one to go with. It's like how to do an outline or whatever. Yeah. This is my bibliography. Oh, both. Yeah. Couldn't decide which one to go with. It's like how to how to do an outline or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. This is my bibliography. Oh, right. I report on doing bb. And then go to the a then go to lower case. One, yeah. That it is a legitimate social event. And no illegal illegality will take place. This is a fucking this is a bar. Yeah. This is an establishment that sells that makes its money by selling date rape drugs.

Illegally over serving happens on a nightly basis. You're breaking the law all the time. You guys, I probably shouldn't, but you know. You guys empower drunk drivers. That's your entire job function is to sell liquor to alcoholics so they can get in their car and go kill people while talking about the bus piece. Tell me about illegalities that is it that it is a legitimate social event. What is an illegitimate social event? Yeah. People are not illegal. It is an undocumented social event.

What the fuck are they talking about? It is a legitimate social event. Yeah. And no illegality, and no, I can't even say it. Illegality. And no illegality will take place. Okay. What, what am I, the cops? What do you mean?

Is someone's in there not, uh, uh, uh, cashing in cryptocurrencies and then not reporting the income i don't know i don't know if they're doing that don't you have some kind of security for us there don't know someone's in there watching a record showing a book a recording of the nfl to their friends yeah super bowl recording i got without with only their implied or consent

not express written consent i don't know if that's happening was there a song, you know, played that, you know, that constituted a public performance from a radio somewhere that wasn't, you know, that, that ASCAP or BMI didn't know about. Maybe some chick has a picture, a bathroom selfie that she took of herself in the naked and she turns 17 to 18 while she's at the show, now possessing child pornography on her phone. These are all the questions.

These are all illegalities. All legitimate questions that they deserve an answer on. Yeah, frankly. Since we're playing fucking lawyer. Yeah. That it is a legitimate social event and no illegality will take place. Okay, that was the first condition. And this is so I can have the show back, by the way, at the event that's already canceled

it twice. Yeah, so that right. You know, like they gave that back because you said the, you said the C word to them, right? Court. Court. Right? Didn't you say something about, all right, I'll see you in court.

Yeah, to them. I know. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You know what else? I got something funny for you. Somebody found out that they lost an $11,000 lawsuit, that Buzz B's lost an $11,000 lawsuit. Buzzbees lost an $11,000 lawsuit. Really? I don't know what a reason.

But since they like, and that seems like the sweet spot, isn't that small claims, like 15,000 in under? Yeah, I don't know what, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I don't know what to, I can be persuasive. We'll see. Interesting. Okay, provision number two.

This is like a letter from Chris the Kiwi. What did you get this? I don't know a couple of days ago. After I already rented the other venue and all the shit required of it. Yeah, so we're not going to Busby's. No. No. I have a secret location, the Diccadrome,

in a warehouse near Silver Lake Echo Park, historic Filipino town. It's gonna be packed with fucking gills. Is it in Filipino town? And it's a dope place. It's a be packed with fucking gills. Is it in Filipino town? And it's a dope place. It's a, I wonder if it's a, I wonder if it's a, does it, does it begin with a B and say theater? No. No. Okay.

Boner theater? Is that where you used to go? No, no, no, no, I, bone. No, no, no, it's a bone theater. It's a, it's a known place that you can big billy's bone theater. It it out. It's a fucking cool old A-frame warehouse, but. No, it's not there. But it isn't Filipino town. Plenty of room. There's tons of fucking great buildings there. It's a place with liquor. And maybe a horror too for 200 guys, that's probably good, right?

It'll be like a pirate ship. Yeah, I mean, the competition amongst, you know, horrors is fierce. They, they, they, they know how to work. I'm gonna bring one virtual horror in there, put her up on a screen, and then send in a bunch of, horrors is fierce. They, they, they, they know how to work. I'm gonna bring one virtual whore in there, put her up on a screen, and then send in a bunch of other horrors to get them really in the mood to read rules

and bust her on TOS. Yeah, I'm trying. Wait, I gotta play this, I gotta play this first before I get any deeper into this thing. Okay. Did you see this Sean Feld parody? No. That Ash and Marl made here.

Let me bring it up real fast. This is gonna be a little bit of a schizophrenic episode. Here you go. This is this is from last week's episode. It's called Sean Feld by Ashen Marl. Are you ready for this Sean? No, here you go. Okay, thank you. Thank you for calling in. Have a good one. Thank you. I'm gonna go. Get ready thank you, thank you for calling in. Have a good one. Thank you, I'm gonna go. You're welcome, bye bye. Get ready for this. What a lovely woman.

Was that an autistic thought? What do you think about that? It's Larry Davis gonna sue us. The dill now, you holding the dill today? I know, very funny.ill day. Very funny. Pretty good. Okay. The one that killed me was along with the curb your enthusiasm music.

Yeah, after we took the thing and I shot myself in the head. Yeah, that was a good one. Okay, Ralph's gonna be there. Peach is gonna be, everyone's gonna be, it's already sold out, so if you don't have tickets, don't buy it. Mad Cux, fuck you, Mad Cux is gonna be there. Nice. Here's stipulation number two from the Nice. Here's stipulation number two. Oh, from the idiot venue.

Two stipulation number two, that all current negative social media comments will cease immediately. Oh, you guys can suck. This is both ends of my cock. If you think that I'm, if you think that number one that I'm gonna stop saying negative shit on social media and that I have some kind of magical power you can control

everybody. Stop people from being pissed at a band of dogs that engages in this sick cancel culture that is like, if you guys want to stop hate, you want to be warriors on the front line against hate, you know what a big part of that is? Sacrifice. You want to stop hate, you want to be warriors on the front line against hate. You know what a big part of that is? Sacrifice. You want to go to war with it, you want to go to war with Nazis? For your ideals. Yeah, me fucking people died in that war. Millions.

Have fun. Get ready to sacrifice. I thought this is what you wanted. Didn't you want to, didn't you want to be a virtue warrior? Then you want to be on the right side of history? You got to bleed something then. You didn't, yes. be on the right side of history? You gotta bleed something then. You- Yes.

Shouldn't these be badges of honor? Yeah. Nazis are attacking hate mongers are attacking you. Now you're gonna give them a venue? Because it's too real? Well, yeah, well- Because they spend a little bit of money? It gets real.

Why would you want- What fuck the Nazis money, right? What happened to the principles? Uh, that all current negative social media comments will cease immediately. Fuck you, you sign contracts and then reneg. Number three, this is to get my fucking venue back to make them shit loads of money, right?

Right. Three, previously agreed pricing terms continue to apply. Okay. Just put that in there, you know. Note that we are proceeding on your assurances, i.e. I promise we are not overtly political or hateful in any way. And on the basis that no harm is intended to any individual.

What in the fuck are you, please confirm you are prepared to proceed on this basis. What kind of a stupid asshole would I have to be to agree to host a thing there with hundreds of people with this sort of assenine, assenine chicaneery perpetrated by management. Stupid. Fucking stupid.

Fuck that place. Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, okay. What else do I have here? I'm sorry. Ralph's in LA, he's gonna do a roast of me apparently to induct into the Hall of Fame, the Killstream Hall of Fame on the Thursday before the show. Should be pretty fun.

Okay, what makes me rage today? I almost blew myself up. Really? Yeah. Almost, huh? Yeah, pretty much almost. myself up. Really? Almost, huh? Yeah, pretty much almost. Yeah, pretty almost. I was trying to show 80s girl how to fix the hot water heater.

I don't know why, but the gas always goes bad. The gas always stops, like the earthquake agent in front of my house. That's gas. Yeah, it shuts itself off, so. Okay. So then the whole house is gone. Do go on. Yeah.

Right. Cleaning lady finds this out about 10 p.m. of course, or 10 a.m. And she doesn't know how to reset it. Okay, of course, I don't want you to simple screw. You know how the earthquake safety device and the gas thing is out in front of your house? Yeah. Now it works. A little half turn pop, right? Of course.

Geez, I have no idea what you're talking about. Never seen it before. Anytime, any kind of minor thing happens, it's hands to the sky. We're doing a rain dance to fix it. I don't mind. I don't know. I don't know.

Okay, okay. Okay, well, I'll be home at three. So hopefully that won't prevent, hopefully that won't hold anything up. Right. Like the pile of laundry that's pretty much the only reason that you're here is because no one wants to do the fucked laundry, right?

The one that's the water and convenience. Yeah, but your dryer won't work without the gas, right? Right. So this has been a complete waste. Yeah. Now it's back into my court, meaning it will never get done. Yeah. I turn it back on, blah, blah, blah.

And I have the bright idea of showing 80s girl how to fix the water heater, right? Let's train to re-light the pilot light. Yeah. Yeah. Always have such a problem with women not knowing how to do shit like this. Let's train to a re-light the pilot light. Yeah. Always have such a problem with women not knowing how to do shit like this. Let's see how it works. Let's see how it works in the wild, right? Right. So I say, come on downstairs.

I'll show you how to do it. I go downstairs and about 10 minutes later, she comes downstairs. I've got impatient and I already started dicking with it trying to turn it back on. So she comes downstairs after a while. And I say, okay, okay, yeah, let me restart it to what it would be if you came down here and saw it as normal. I turn it over to... So let's go through the steps.

Let's go through the steps. I turn it back to on. I say, now when you come down, you're going to see that it's on on. And it will have been here as this. So the first thing you do is just turn it off. And of course, the critical step that I skipped was waiting for the gas to evacuate. So I go, then you turn it over to pilot, hold it down, and press the button. And I pressed the button.

And it was an explosion. Yeah. A lot of gas that was collected in there, a proper explosion. Yeah, yeah. And try to come out and get you, right? Yes, yeah. Or I see orange, I see a plume of orange,

I hear a burst, some blue, and then nothing but black. Wow. Lungs knows everything full from, I think, oh God, okay. And now I'm still pretending like I know what I'm doing. Yeah. Right? Okay. Wow.

Still pretending like I know it even though no possible human being could know what they're doing with their hands outstretched in this way with a face full of blackness. Jesus. Yeah. I'm saying, all right, well, I'll try again in a couple months. I'll try to research some sort of masculine in here. I'm gonna make sure there's no gas still collected in there. Maybe a couple months should do it.

Maybe I could show you how to, I don't know. Stick sugar packets under a table to level it out. Trouble more my speed. This is clearly not, this was not a my speed thing. Yeah. Or you just do it better, you'll have better luck than I did. Curse of fucked me over by the way, do you have this problem? Probably when you take a shower, does your girlfriend always go take a shower at the same time?

No, no, no, she waits for you to do it. always go take a shower at the same time? No. No? No. She waits for you to do it? You mean just she get in the shower with me? No, in the other shower. I am in a shower stalemate where anytime I go to do it, she will take that time to immediately run to the other one. So it's fucking with your water.

So it's fucking with my hot water. Yeah. Every single fucking time. Right. So now I say with my hot water. Yeah. Every single fucking time. Right. So now I say I'm gonna do it in lie, and then just go wait in bed until I hear the other one go on and off. Every fucking time.

I come out every time. I was a little cold that time. Oh, you're in a towel. Gotcha. How did that happen? Uh-huh. Anyway. Curse it fucked me over.

This week. Curse of. Yeah, I went to a friend's party. Okay. And desperate as I am to try to remember everyone's name, I said, what's your roommate's name so I can get it right off the gate, right? Really impress everybody with my politicians level

knowledge of names, right? Because oh, it's crusty. It's the name. It's like, okay, what a nod name, right? That's fun. So a little bit later in the evening, woman comes around and hands out some cookies with like a little note.

Oh, it's a party. All right, little stupid note. I look at the note. Say, oh, my drunken state looks at the note. Oh, how about that K-R? looks kind of like a U, all right? S-T. I say, oh, with full volume, with all the bravado of so many things that they know what they're doing.

Oh, thank you, crusty. Looks great to a woman. Yeah, well that's, yeah. And was the U maybe an I? Well, apparently, apparently that's maybe an I. Well, apparently. This apparently, that's how it works. Hey, crusty. Is what?

Oh, there's your nickname in high school, right? Crusty, do you know that thing? Is it not, that's not your name? Why did he just- Crusty the clown? He just fucked you with crusty. Like why did he- Wasn't even his roommate.

It's just some random woman that I called crusty. No, I mean, but didn't he tell you that like his her name was somebody told you her name was crusty? Somebody told me that their roommate was crusty and then I saw that and just, because it's cursive, because there's no reason. I know.

It's just a bunch of goddamn squiggles. They don't even teach that anymore, do they? They probably do. I don't think they do. What could they possibly, what are they teaching instead? Just, you know, fucking printing. Racism. Well, no, it's typing. I don't think they do. What could they possibly, what are they teaching instead? Just, you know, fucking printing. Racism. Well, no, it's written typing.

I mean, everybody's typing. You just need to know how to print. I bet they're still teaching cursive. I heard they weren't. It's a plague. Every and women love it. They love writing in that cursive shit cause they get curly cues all over everything.

It's like taggers. That's the same impression I get when they put all that shit on the E Like oh, this is how I write. Oh, oh, oh, oh, ee, ee, dash, dash, get the fuck out of here If someone draws a line through their seven, I will punch them right in their mouth. Mmm, I'm saying. Oh, the little, yeah, little line right through it. Yeah, right through the seven. Yeah, better fucking watch that shit. Yep. All right. You're on a short list. Let me see here. Oh, Bernie's on Russia's helping Bernie. Did you hear about that? No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm afraid Russia is meddling with the birding campaign. Are they? Yep. Yeah. They

couldn't, they couldn't keep their hands away from it. Uh huh. Yeah. I don't, I don't know. I haven't, I haven't, uh, I haven't heard anything about that. So US intel says, oh, we got intel that Russia's helping Bernie out. And I'm thinking like, well, isn't that, aren't you guys fucking with his campaign way more than Russia ever could? By saying that, like by putting that idea out there, aren't you totally fucking the sky over? Way more than whatever, like Russia,

Russia has the GDP of Texas. Yeah. They're tiny. Yeah. Like, okay, here's what makes me rage about it. The only reason we ever talk about them is because of the fucking map, because of the map of the world that everybody grew up with seeing that makes it

look gigantic uss are yeah because of that map russia is a bad guy is the only reason because in reality it's so much smaller and economically fucking time the size of taxes a gdp the size of tax. A GDP the size of Texas. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, That big old country over there. It's because of that fucking map. All stretched out. If it was actual size, get rid of maps. Maybe like what the hell is, yeah, the education, our education has conditioned us to accept this

as some kind of global superpower. And they're about this fucking big. Well, they were the biggest, much money is taxes. They only have atomic weapons because we gave them to them. Yeah, they were the big bads. They were the big bads when we, you know,

all the, all the, all the, all the, any movies, all the, you know, the time we, it was always the, you know, now it's, other bad guys, even though they never did anything. You guys have missiles on us? We're gonna put fucking missiles on you. Oh, foul, foul, foul. Like what the fuck are they supposed to do?

Yeah, I mean, it was a, yeah, we, you know, we fought the cold, it was all, it was a competition as much as anything. It was like, oh first man, it's, oh first man on the moon, ah, but for, I mean, it was a yeah, we you know, we fought the cold. It was all it was a competition as much as anything It was like oh first man. It's my first man on the moon. I prefer you know, it was they won the first man space No, they did yeah, that was it was your own end of the race. You're a guard. Yeah, right, right Yeah, well Bernie Bernie's taking money from Russian mother Russian now There you go. It is cuz of the man. What do you mean? How's he taking money from other Russian, I guess. There you go. It is because of the matter. What do you mean, how's he taking money from? Oh, it's means nothing.

It's just pure garbage. We've got, China, manufacturers, 90% of our pharmaceuticals, has way more money than us, but somehow they're never interfering on anything. Somehow a country that size a fucking Texas has some kind of axe to grind 50 because of rocky for They're constantly fucking meddling like we're in a rocky and bullwinkle episode

But these motherfuckers manufacturing aides flu hybrid viruses who own ten percent of our debt do nothing viruses who own 10% of our debt do nothing. Just another day on, just another day in cloud world. Well, I guess they're, China is just, is too big and too involved to, to, to rock the boat too hard on, I think. Yeah, they don't do anything. They don't have any preference, Susan charge anywhere.

Russia though, those, those guys, they're, they, they, they have a very vested interest out of jealousy. Well, they've, it's a lot of sanctions and things like that too. I mean, they want to see who's more going to be easier on them economically. Do you think? Yeah. Sure.

Why not? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I mean, you got to do, if you're're, you gotta do whatever is going to make it easier for you to gain wealth and prosperity. Yeah, which is China. Russia's been nothing. There's like, well, you know, I guess we'll buy whatever.

I'm talking about it, like Russia's interests. You know, like, But they don't make any things that, like what kind of leverage do they have? Do you see a lot of like, do you see a lot of, no, Russian cars driving around? No, no, no, no, no, everything in pants, Pro, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no really they stole the plan. They stole the plans. They stole the plans. Got it in the air about a year before the Concord. It was such that it was a complete piece of shit. It used

to fly one thing. It flew for like a few months. It used to fly like one, one route. Yeah. But yeah, it was so fucking janky. Yeah. Oh, excuse me, 97% of antibiotics in the United States are made in China. Wow. That's actually scary. Oh, you think? Yeah, it's very scary. It's very scary. And for honor virus, getting around, I don't mean, I mean, you know, whether that,

whether that was a natural mutation or like somebody fucked up in a lot, because I remember that if you can't go to work, who the fuck's making our antibiotics then? The thing is, those people are welded inside their apartments. Well, here's the thing. Where the fuck's our antibiotics? A lot, biotics then. The thing is, those people are welded inside their apartments. Well, here's the thing. The fuck's our answer?

Biotics. A lot of us, three months out. A lot of pieces of electronic equipment, either like parts of microphones, or the microphone entirely, or capsules, the microphone capsules are made in China. And that's always had a bad name.

The thing is, you can get stuff that's manufactured, okay, you just have to that's manufactured, okay, you just have to have somebody watching the store all the time. You've got your QC has got to be on point or else you're going to get fucking anything. So who knows, you know, with the pharmaceuticals, it's like, I don't know, does it have all of the medicine?

It says in it or does it have none of the fucking medicine? I'm saying it. It's going to be no medicine. Yeah, oh no, I know. I can't go to work. There's. I'm saying it's gonna be no medicine. Yeah, oh no, I know. I know. Because no fucking, there's gonna be no. But what I'm saying, Hans, there's gonna be no Christmas in whoville next year.

I'm saying it's all what he's making shit. It's already scary that they're doing it. With people going to work. Yeah, it is already scary. But it's Russia, you know, Russia, it's all about Russia. I don't trust some pharmaceuticals either. They don't make anything. They don't make anything but headlines. Like I don't trust them. I'm not sure if it's pharmaceuticals either. They don't make anything. They don't make anything but headlines.

Like, they don't make anything. And it's still everybody. Well, Russia, we gotta do something about Russia. We gotta do something. Trying to control our fucking entire supply of antibiotics. What the fuck is wrong with you people? Echinomically, it's no contest. Well, what kind of, what other contest is there?

Dick's eyes? I don't know. Yeah, I just answered my own question. It's Dick's eyes. What else do I have? Oh, Warren Buffett. I also hate his ass. Do you?

Yeah, the Berkshire Hathaway. Mm-hmm. Annual meeting at the shareholders came up. I'll read a little bit of this. Berkshire Hathaway, I don't know if anyone's interested in Berkshire Hathaway, one of the biggest companies in the world. Warren Buffett, biggest, one of the richest guys in the world. Yeah. In 2019, Berkshire sent 3., one of the biggest companies in the world, Warren Buffett, biggest, one of the richest guys in the world.

Yeah. In 2019, Berkshire sent $3.6 billion to the US Treasury to pay its current income tax, Buffett said in his annual letter to share. $3.6 billion, $1.5% of tax. The US government collected $243 billion from corporate income tax payments during the same period. You can take pride that your company delivered 1.5 percent of the federal income tax is paid by all. 55 years ago, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The company paid nothing. 55 years ago, when

Berkshire entered its current incarnation, the company paid nothing at federal income tax. Good reason too. Over the previous decade, the, it just defines it. Since then, as Berkshire has retained nearly all of its earnings, the beneficiaries of that policy became not only the company shareholders, but also the federal government. In most future years, we hope and expect to send far larger sums to the treasury. He pisses me off every time he talks about taxes, because he's always rooting for there to be more. Every single fucking time that idiot opens his mouth, he who makes all of his money is buying up

either monop, either actual monopolies or oligopolies. Every time he talks about taxes, he's talking about paying more. Yeah. When in reality, all he has to do to pay more is just give the money over or make whatever he's bitching about that we don't have.

What like what do you, you are the, what are the richest people in the face of the world? You're an earth you idiot. What do you want that money to be used for? You own more schools? Just go make them. Go and make them you fat fuck. On your way to McDonald's every morning call somebody up and say make me a bunch of schools. What is he for? No, I'm good for it.

Is he for closing corporate loopholes or like, you know what? I don't know what he said recently. Uh, all he ever says is that he pays less taxes than he should. Yeah, I have heard that. Yeah. So he's probably fucking trying to close and corporate loopholes. Yeah, maybe so. He just always pisses me off. Here's another thing that makes me rage. He's watching a documentary. And a cop said of a murderer,

she had enough fentanyl in her to kill probably two horses. She had enough fentanyl in her system to kill two horses. That's a unit of measurement. Yeah. Is that, have you heard that one before? A murder victim. So she had a murder. A murderer.

Oh, so it's always someone who's not dead. Yeah, the murderer had that much. Oh, yeah, yeah, had enough to kill two horses. It's like clearly not. Yeah, it's not helpful. Yeah, clearly not. Two horses. Yeah. What about five? Right. How Yeah, clearly not. Two horses, what about five? Right.

How many, how many, how many, how many, how many whales? Yeah, could have could the fentanyl have killed. Right, one thirty second have a whale. Enough fentanyl in her system to kill a fat guy. Right. No, how are we, we talk an orca fat? Can you just give me the measurements? What are you, what, what is the, what is you get off on comparing

this person to animals? I don't know. The amount of fentanyl in their system, speaking of animals, Carl from who are these podcasts? You're filthy animal. I did a... You're filthy animal. Let me bring Carl in for a moment.

Okay, Carl from who are these podcasts? Are you there, man? Dick, that was a professional segue. I am very impressed. Thank you. Hey, your audio sounds pretty good. Yeah, it does. So Carl and I did a, we did another bonus episode, crossover episode, where we reviewed a disgusting podcast about zoos. I'm gonna have to go back and listen to it.

Yeah, it's a, it's zoo Zew enthusiasts, people who's sexuality aligns Zewily on the Z-axis is a beastieality podcast. Gotcha. Three of a lot. They're offended. They're offended. We don't think it's great that they have sex with horses and dogs. Wait, so this make me show? That is the crux of the podcast. It's an ongoing thing about. Yeah. They're all like fucking horses and dogs and they love talking about it. Like it's their whole identity is how they fuck horses and dogs.

People who fuck horses and dogs call in. Do they try to recruit? Oh, dude, that's... That's the thing. It's so fucking disturbing. Like before listening to that show, I kinda had this idea of, well, I mean, I guess I eat meat,

so how are them fucking animals any different? How are the people fucking animals any different? You thought that going in. Yeah, like I kinda thought, well, I mean, what am I gonna sit here and throw stones? Yeah, right. I'm eating a big hamburger, and pigs get treated like shit.

Mm-hmm. But after listening to all these podcasts, I thought, man, there is some, there's some weird grooming shit going on in this community. Specifically, one of the guys in it was proud of going around mentoring young people on the art of eating dogcock, or horsecock, whatever it is.

What the fuck, man? It was fun though, fun episode. Oh, yeah, and by the way, if you want to hear that show, go to patreon.com slash who are these podcasts? That's where you can get that show. Yeah, it's on both of our Patreon. It is. It's on both of our Patreon.

What did you think, Carl? I thought it came out great. People are disturbed by it, and I'm going to know I'm not saying, can we just make fun of shitty podcasts again? Because these episodes where we did this thing about maps, minor attracted persons, and now these zoo files, people are like, this is just gross.

Can we please just goof on and lose suck and podcasting. Yeah, we should go back to that. I really wanted to get that out of our system though. I'm glad we did. Yeah, I really want to listen to it now. Well, that's also what people are saying. You finally got five bucks from me, you asshole. Cause you have, I mean, you have to.

You really do. They are... You got to feel better about yourself. Sometimes it's worth five bucks to feel better about yourself. Sometimes it's worth five bucks to feel better about yourself. I have never heard someone justify their behavior more than these animal fives. Really? It's like dungeons and dragons nerds mixed with baseball nerds,

mixed with actual lawyers all rolled into one. The amount of justification they have for their extreme sexual deviancies. The power of rationalization is strong in the human fucking existence. It really fucking builds like a castle in your mind. You're like, well, I mean, yeah, that's pretty airtight. I can't argue with that. Yeah, yeah, once you decide, once you decide

that the base is a strong structure, you can build on that until that becomes solidified. And then it's like, you don't have to go back and re-evaluate the lower levels. As we've already discussed before, this is about love. Yes, yes. Well, wait a minute. I walked away from it going, oh, my problem isn't with these people, isn't the animal fucking, it's the delusion.

It's like the way they try to pitch, it's the way they're selling me on it. That's my problem with it. You want to fucking animal, go for it, fuck you, you fucked in it. Like I eat a cheeseburger, you fucked an animal, but you're fucking deal, but you're trying to sell me that this is like a loving relationship we're having. You're lying to sell me that this is like a loving relationship. We're having. Let's let's we know that you know you're lying to me. Yeah.

And that's what I don't like. Um, there's also this division within the animal fucking community, where they're pissed at the in cells who fuck animals because they have no other choices. Yeah. Like, you know, this. Cause you're not real. You're not real. You're not real. You're not real. You're not real. You're not real. You're not real. You're not real.

You're not real. You're not real. You're not real. You're not real. You're not real. You're not real. You're not real. You're not real. You're not real.

You're not real. You're not real. You're not real. You're not real. You're not real. You're not real. You're not real. You're not real.

You're not real. You're not real. You're not real. You're not real. You're not real. You're not real. as opposed to who's actually bold. Yeah, they're pissed at the in cells for who shit on women and then fuck, they call it rape. If they're fucking horses or sheep or whatever because they can't get girls, it's hilarious. It's still haunting me. It's a surprise.

Jesus Christ. That was a fun bonus episode. Oh, I was. Carl, I know I told you I had that Maddox audio, but let me give me, let me give note one more shot to find it. It's such a shame if I don't have it. I mean, this is, this is a waste of everyone's time, but go for it. That's okay. There can he make you want to hear it. If you a keyword, you could search for something. If does Carl know anything more about it than you do?

I don't think so. I don't because Dick just told me about it when we did the show on Tuesday. And I have to tell you, Dick, when I went back and edited that podcast, I learned something about myself. I have the worst listening skills in the history of man. You explain that you had this audio, you wanted to do it on your show, and I'm like, all right, let's pop it up. What's listen to it? You're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm right there with you. I'm right there with you, because I find myself tuning out occasionally

and then jumping back in. And then I'm like, oh yeah, so that was all about, you're like, no, that was, that you know, I'm surrounded by screens and I'm constantly looking at my notes and different screens and the discord. So I'm never paying attention to what I should be paying attention to.

I'll give you guys a tip. This is what I do to get into the zone. Before every show, I have a huge fight with my girlfriend. Oh, because nothing, nothing will make you a better listener. Then you will never listen as hard as you've listened in your life than when you fight with your girlfriend or your wife. Because you are ready to hammer her on any infraction at all. Like, ah, you bitch, you said this yesterday.

So every show I always I wake up and start a massive fight. So I can bring it at my that listening, that level of listening ship into the show. Whatever your pregame routine is, you know, you keep it consistent. It's been working. What else did I want to talk to you about? Carl, while I look for this thing. And did you have any other takeaways

about the crossover episode? Did anybody give you any feedback? People are loving the crossover episodes. We had a brilliant theme song that, and I think it was Ryan Schmidt put together, or somebody put it together for us. And I think we got some momentum. If we keep doing this every two or three months,

we're going to build up a big fan base from it. I think every two or three months is good. Yeah. Try to get on to the next time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't, I mean, I'm not editing anything, so I'm just basically bouncing it out. So that works out, Carl. Yeah, well, it sounded great. I actually wanted to ask you about what you do to it, but I don't wanna do that on your show, obviously. That's a way to do it on your own. Boring and stupid.

Yeah, the other funny thing about that Zoo file podcast, I'm just remembering right now, is the production value is ridiculous. They have like this elevator music playing the entire time in the background, as they're talking about the worst shit. Like horse is coming on their chest and you hear this music.

Oh my god. Oh my god. It's like trying to like mask what they're actually talking about so that you just think it's normal and fine. They're so possessive of the women in their community too. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, that's why they want to keep in cells.

You mean human women? Yes, human women. Yeah. So like they clearly have an attraction towards women. And they also just, and you know what else is funny? Not once. Not once. Did I hear about them talking about the pleasure of the animal? Not one time.

It's all their love. It's all one way from them. I got to find a later, man. I'll play it. There is one specific part where they give you instructions on how to go down on a dog. Oh my God. And they get going. They got to be specific on it.

I don't know. I'm joking with you. Very specific. All right. What makes you a rage, man? So I just went to New York City last week. I went to flew in for a concert and I I'm sure this has been an Arraige many times before, but the TSA is still fucking obnoxious at this point.

Oh, yeah. Because what they're doing now is depending on what airport you're in and what day of the week it is, the rules change all the time. Now I used to have to pull my laptop out of my bag, but I could keep my iPad in it. Now, you have to take your iPad out as well. Now, they're telling me I'd take my food out of my bag. I'm bringing a pot brownie to a ween concert. I don't want to take my food out of my bag at the airport. Why would a terrorist need to take their food out of their bag? What does that have to do with any type of security or safety?

You're going to a ween concert? Yeah, I would do it. I would get it from that. I would do it. Best you're taking away from my race. Yeah, yeah. I just don't understand, like, the rules do change. They get pissed at you and they're like, oh, sir, please, you gotta take your food out of your bag.

I'm like, no one's ever told me that before. I fly all the fucking time. This is all brand new, made up nonsense. You guys just keep creating new rules. Yeah. And they tell you, you gotta stand right here in front of the X-ray. I'm like, what's the fucking difference?

I'm gonna get in the X-ray machine eventually we'll keep this line moving. Trust me, I'm on the same page as you. I wanna get through this as well. Don't worry about it. I fucking hate them and they should be defunded. What appeals to you about Wien? Wien is my favorite band of all time. The songwriting is fantastic.

Okay, all right. I'm happy to meet a Wien fan. Yeah, yeah. They're out there. I'm gonna picture a whole, are they all like you? Is it like a whole concert of Carl's? Probably. All getting their pot brown, he's confiscated at the airport.

I've noticed, I've noticed that there's a distinct audience at Ween and Primus shows. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. They're almost hippies, but they're, they're not quite into the hippiness too much. Yeah, or they'd be at a fish concert. Yeah, that's why I was, that's why I like it so much because I go to the Primus shows and I look around and like, ah, everyone's like me. Yeah, all right. All right. There is sufferable douche bags just like us. That's why I like it so much because I go to the primus shows and I look around and like, I everyone's like me. Yeah. All right. All right. This is what you look like.

Very sufferable douche bags just like us. That's correct. That's true. All right, man, I'm going to try to find this audio. I'll find it right after the show wraps. I'm sure. All right. Well, let me know.

I'd love to come back on and listen to that because I'm excited to hear Maddox on Don and Mike. Yeah. The crossover was great. Thanks for doing that. Yep. Yeah. Thank you, buddy. See ya. You know, do you want to take a turn having a hot take

on Beastieality? Is that a thing that you, are you having any interest in that, Sean? No, that's a thing people want to do. They want to take on their hand at the Beastieality, hot take. What do you mean? Like, like, you know, sink hunger, that guy that Dome Pesos hates? I mean, he's on record saying that he thinks beastieality

should be legal if it pleasures the animal. This is his platform. He's running for Congress. Okay. This is his platform. She is. I don't know. I don't have a take at it.

Let's take a swing at that one. No, it's just it's for it or against it. It's not something that comes into into into my universe. Like it. I just don't you know, I don't look at an animal. Fuck yeah, man. Like, yeah, it's people do. I very strange, very strange to me. I you know, if it pleasures the animal, how do you find that out? I mean, I just if does does he... Well, it comes. Well, yeah. You can, yeah, but you can get, that's like a natural reaction to certain things, you know? Like it's like, oh it is.

Oh yeah, I don't know. If you got jerked off to gay porn, you would come. To gay porn? Yeah. It's natural reaction, right? If I got jerked off, I could probably close my eyes and plug my ears and something jerks you off. You have to keep your eyes open like clockwork orange.

You're talking a human, you're talking a human brain versus an animal brain. I'm talking about you. If you were getting clockwork orange jerked off to gay pornography, would you come? I have no idea. Yeah, okay. I have no idea.

Turn, wait, can you turn his mic on for hang on? I guess yeah, what is your name sir Vaughan Vaughan from where Australia Vaughan from Australia? Please let me have one of your australian IPAs. Yeah Thank you very much sir. You came to oh my god. Look at this take look at this cap this tab It's old school pull-off ring tabs. No shit, and this is colonial IPA from Vaughn. Thank you very much. It looks like it should be like a lemonade or something. Look at this.

You open it the entire top comes off. And you can, it's like you're drinking out of a spaghetti can. That's great. You can cut the shit out of yourself on that too. I'm in it. Vaughn, what makes you a rage? Very good. Oh, I always get in here.

I was in here. What makes you a rage? Fuck, I'm a million things I was in here. What makes you a rich? Fuck, I have a million things. You didn't prepare what? I know you were coming in and you didn't get one ready? Ah, RSA. Do you know what RSA is? Do you have a question?

No. So in Australia, at certain festivals, I was at a festival at a VIP bar, so very important, very high up. Raging? Yeah, go to the bar. And you know those people who come up I was at a vessel at a VIP bar, so very important, very high up. Good. Yeah, go to the bar. And you know those people who come up who are selling whiskey to you and they get a hot girl comes up and starts chatting to you.

So I don't know about that at all. Well, but then they're trying to sell you a drink afterwards. Sure. Yeah. Sounds great. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Just cut out the chat. I don't know. But that's straight to the barring the drink. No, no, no. This is the Australian version of RSA. So you're going up to the bar. As you're in the chat, but that's straight to the buying the drink. No, no, but this is the Australian version of RSA. So you're going up to the bar,

as you're in the line, your chatting to this girl, she's talking to you, and it's all good. And as you get to the bar to order the drink, she goes, he's too drunk and stops you. And you can't drink it. What? I know.

This happened exactly to me, and this was like a, they're actually meant to be like the important person bar, and I was getting cut off by the person, and they wasted my time. Why didn't you tell me at the start of the line, you're getting cut off. Why did you waste my time talking to me,

chatting me up and I was like, yeah, he's too drunk. And then also in addition to that, later on I got a drink anyway. Yeah. Full drink, put it on the table. And now I was doing a really... You said, how's this for being too drunk, you bitch?

No, no, no, no, no. I just, I walked away who was doing like a stupid impression and another RSA person came and took the full drink away That I just purchased well well impression were you doing that matter? Liam Gallagher's Liam Gallagher? Yeah, just put like a hook on and was like all right and walking around like a Yeah, but yeah, and they took a full drink while I was like whoa I just bought that like I'll be your so drunk. No that Yeah, and they took a full drink while I was like, whoa, whoa, I just bought that.

Like, I'll be so drunk, but no, that's stealing. Undercover bartenders. Yes, a bit responsible service of alcohol. See, I don't know what that, I've never heard that before. Yeah, that's a, a special. A responsible service of alcohol. We don't really have any of that at Buzzbees. Not in a way to spend.

It's a fee. At Buzzbees, they confiscate your keys at the door to make sure you get your keys back so you can drive. Is that a joke or? That's 100% real. If you go there, they ask you at the door, how good are you at drunk driving? And if you say, great, they say, good, you're in our drunk driver program, they put your keys up on a wall so that when you get shit face, they breath lies you.

And if you have to blow like 1.8 to get your keys back. You have to be legally dead. Yeah, that's what they do. RSA, I've never responsible service with alcohol. Yeah, so there's people where these shirts and on the back says RSA, the front normal shirts. So you just think, oh, someone's having a nice time chatting to me. It's just that wait in the line, the whole talk and then know. Wow. RSA is wow.

I mean, you hear about these things. You hear about, in the middle, you know, some countries, they're throwing gay people off roofs, some countries, they have undercover people limiting your access to alcohol. Yeah, I guess it is. Sick world outside of America. You know, I guess it doesn't hit home until you know someone who's been through it. Exactly. Right. Get out of here.

We'll lovely, our lovely news, girls here. But I'm going Get out of here. We're lovely. Our lovely news girls here. But I'm going to get Ryan long in here right now. First, Sean looks like he's seen a murderer. Ryan, are you there? Does that work? Yes. I can hear you. It's not great, but I can hear you. Well, there's a complicated system you guys got going on. Yeah. I know. Is there a better system that works for you? Skype or anything like that? Or you like Discord? I mean, we can hear them.

I guess, I guess, well, I'm talking to my computer as opposed to talking into my phone, I guess, right? Whichever one you want, we can do. No, it doesn't matter to me. I'm already here. Well, if this isn't what I'm just saying if I, if you can't hear me, that could be the problem.

Let's do it. We can do the computer. It sounds great. It's clear enough, yeah, sure. Ryan Long, you are responsible for this internet tattletail video. I'm gonna play it for you now. I'm gonna play it right now for everybody.

I'm not so far away. Sorry, I know that I feel like people are like, is this guy retarded, but is this a video show? Like, should I be able to see you too? No, it's a, there is a stream, but it's not like a show. I'm clicking on everything. I'm like, where do I see this guy? You haven't clicked enough.

You don't want to see me. I look like shit. I look all bloated and I've never went out to watching you like this video. Some people are. All right. All right. Okay. We have mostly a big blind audience though.

So a lot of people just listen. Okay, here's Ryan Long comedy, Mark Diamond, internet, TatlTail. Here you go. My name is Mark and I'm an internet TatlTail. I spent about three, four hours a day combing through tweets and podcasts, just looking for anything anyone said,

they can ruin their life. Your cancel, your cancel. There's no greater feeling than when you ruin someone's life for your own personal game. Yes. Oh, I mean, no, I'm offended. My goal is to ruin the rooms and Nazi. Where's Albert Einstein racist?

I'm just a time stamping any racist jokes that you're on a podcast. I don't actually create it anything myself. What I do is find things that other people created and ruin them. I don't like for anyone to have fun. You love it. You're a good canceled. I'm a very venomous person. I actually used like for anyone to have fun. Jillaburgan, canceled.

I'm a very venomous person. I actually used to be a big fan of Louis CK, but now I tell people I never thought he was funny. My dream is to one day cancel Vince Fodd. I'm gonna total, I'm gonna go so hard as soon as I'm done with my pee. Mario Lopez, canceled. Nobody's still doing it.

You just get someone fired for their job and they can't provide for their family anymore. And I hope that one day get some pussy from being a tattletail. What can I say? I live to be a little bitch. Oh, yeah. It's great. Great.

That's called being dead on. Yeah. Um, what possessed you to make such a hateful video about the warriors for social justice that we have going around the internet, combing it? I just think that these people need to be canceled and that's my past time. That's smart. You know that happened to us recently. A venue canceled my five. I imagine you guys have got some heat. What was the main one that I was just having now?

Buzz, are you in your LA? Are you in LA? How many of you work? Okay. This venue, BuzzBee's East, canceled a show because apparently, somebody sent them an email saying I'm in New York. Okay, this venue, BuzzBee's East, canceled the show because apparently somebody sent them an email saying I'm a hate, I have to show, is all about hate speech. We're having a stupid funeral for a guy who sued us, this jackass, we're having a funeral for him, but they said it was hate speech, so they canceled us.

Yeah. Funny video, man. You got a bunch of other funny stuff too. I saw one with, um, what's going to happen with the show? What happened? Did they, did you get to do the venue or they cancel you? No, I had to make, I had to go rent a warehouse. Now they're offering it back, but they're offering it back, but they have a bunch of stipulations.

Like I have to guarantee there's no illegalities going on. If you look at such a losers. Yeah, they really are. no illegalities going on. He's talking to people with such aloozers. Yeah, they really are. You had another great one about the sound guy. I just, I listened to that right before you called in, where if the sound guy, if you, if people call you an asshole, that's how you know you've done your job, right?

Yeah, he already grumpy. We're the hard-to-dum-down man. Oh, sound guy at a show at a live show. Really? Yeah, he's got another one just like that's how you you've done your as the sound guy. The music stuff. Huh. So have you been canceled? Did people come after you and your racism and your jokes?

Well, I have a podcast where I just yell the N word for an hour. So they had a problem with that. Yeah. Yeah, I've had a bunch with that. Yeah. Typically. Yeah, I've had a bunch of different things over the years. And then there was, there's been like a lot to different things. I'm from Canada, I just actually moved here five months ago. So nothing that anyone in America would give any shit about, but that would have been

stuff I've been dealing with over there. So I went through, I went through one of your shows, Toronto, I think, you had the cyclist rage counseling group. I mean, I, I like sketch comedy. So I thought that's almost like traditional. It's kind of, yeah, I basically had a CBC series called Toronto, yeah, it was a comedy series on our national social was broadcaster. CBC. And then you had one called Ryan Long is challenged that was kind of like a Nathan fielder show. Yeah, yeah, except it was before that. So, okay.

Sue, his ass. The funny part was, I saw these videos, I was laughing and then I clicked on the IMDB page and it said 1.6 stars at a 10. Oh, Jesus. Scott, what's all these people who are trolling, you know, if you're, you know, you know, parsing through podcasts and everything, just making, you know, documenting anything that could be construed as, you know, hate speech or, you know, and un- and unchecked Nazi running a mock.

Yeah. There was some wild stuff in. I was watching because I was cutting up some clips for different things. So Ryan Long has challenged. I remember not even thinking about this at the time. So there's like seven years ago, maybe. But there was like, one of the sketches was like, I'm going to become trans for the whole episode. And then I went to the doctor and I was talking about cutting my dick off and I stopped.

And I was watching now and the doctor goes So what do you call someone that's a girl that transitions to do a man? And I was like gross God I'm not even crossed my mind is like this is weird. You know, yeah Right now if that came out of you go be like fuck this good Yes, it sucks man. It's really it would be like, fuck, this guy. Yeah, it sucks, man. It's really, it's hard to make a joke anymore. Like, I just, I aggressively cannot be funny on Twitter anymore.

I've lost so many fucking accounts. Like, every time I get up into the 13,000, 15,000 range, they get knocked out. Yeah, over nothing. Yeah, it's not hard to be funny, but the problem is that people are there in bad faith on the internet. So it's like, what I do shows, I'm actually, the audiences aren't ridiculous. It's actually pretty normal, the people, it's the same as it always has been, but then if you take

that clip and put it on the internet, then everyone gets up in arms, people that are there in bad faith. But I don't find audiences at a club know, if you're out of fucking whatever, like if you're a UCB or some shit, but like for the most part, I've been banned from UCB, by the way, funny, you should bring them up. Yeah, that was the rape thing. Yeah, for being an imaginary rape appallad, whatever that is, whatever goes around apologizing for rape, public defenders, actually, yeah, whatever that is. Yeah, this is. Whoever goes around apologizing for rape. Yeah, for rape, right. Public defenders. Jesus actually.

Yeah, right. Public defenders do. Yeah. That's who apologizes for rape. That's so funny. How are you liking it? How are you liking New York? It's been fucking awesome, man.

I've been, it's a hard, it took me like, you know, three years to get on my paperwork and do all that stuff. And finally, I got, you know, so I moved here in like September. I got, it's been super positive. I got passing all the clubs, been doing all the podcasts of all the people that I've kind of worked with fans of when I was in Canada. So basically the counter culture part has been really good,

like all the actual stand up. The industry stuff has kind of been the same as in Canada where you got to like claw it a little bit if you're doing something that's not traditionally, you know, if you're not doing what the fuck Comedy Central is right now, stuff that people don't want to watch. Yeah, I know, man. Now, I was talking to Randy about that this week too, because you really do have, like, there's absolutely no chance for anything that we do on this show, there's just no chance of it getting any kind of money from like a big network outlet, you know what I mean? No, it's a bit of a weird time right now.

I wouldn't even turn it out like nonsense that no one wants to watch and others should bombing. It's like we lost control over like the press tour, that's so bad the fucking media is like bombing right now. And it's like things that get bought are things that not only would I never watch, like you couldn't I wouldn't watch it if you put a gun to my head, but I cannot imagine who the fuck is watching any of these things. It's getting millions of dollars dumped into it.

Like how the fuck is this going? Well, I'll tell you I've been in that traditional channel in a little bit because I've had success before all this stuff started. So I was kind of in the mix a bit. But like with Toronto, for example, the CBC series you're talking about, I had essentially the biggest digital series there. And then they made three way smaller shows

into half hour shows, like for political reasons. So even if you are in the mix, it's like, you can do well and it still doesn't matter. It's just like such a fucking shit show over there. That's what someone's thing happened to Sam Hyde, right? Like he was doing world peace with head-to-head. He's straight up canceled. Yeah, you got a fucking bad deal.

Yeah, he had a great rating. I shouldn't get canceled, though. No, you're shutting it canceled. So you should get canceled. No, I shouldn't get canceled. It was a digital series and then they basically, let's put it this way. My show probably had, let's say, 50 million views way. My show probably had say 50 million views.

The next biggest one had like three million views and then they turned that into a TV show. What about that one? Sure. That's rough deal. It's not so much how to wild ride. That's your fucking rule too. I did. This reminds me of the director of what was a JoJo rabbit that won the Oscar. Tyka? Whoa, what is that? Tyka, what is that? He was talking about, the Joker guy said, it's tough to do comedies.

It's just tough to do comedy because everybody's so hypersensitive to everything. And the JoJo rabbit guy who won said, oh yeah, he was kind of gloating over him, like, oh yeah, well my comedy won the Oscar. And it's like, yeah, it was, I mean, you're making fun of Hitler. Like, do you not see it? Well, he got, but he got, he got shit on for glorifying Nazis. Yeah, that's what the people say. It's like, what do you have?

I mean, you know, still, like, but did you watch that movie? Yeah. So, Joe Rabbit, like as the movie progressed, the comedy of the Hitler comedy really fell off a cliff. No, that's the point. Not these bad hammer just started hitting and it's like, oh, that's the point. He's seeing, that's how the kid sees Hitler and he realizes who he is. That's the, it's like, it's not, he's, that's his projection of Hitler. That is a, that, it's like watching the subversion

go to absolute zero through the course of that movie. Like this is like, it's like watching there's a monster at the end of this book. Like yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, I get it, I get it. They're so evil. Like that's the lesson that you're teaching here. I got it. The most predictable lesson of any story.

Well, you already know how it is. I'm not going to say what were you going to say, Ryan? No, I was just great. But like literally, that's the most thing. They're preaching stuff where it's like everyone's like, yeah, no shit. Like there's no insight involved, right? Like, there's nothing, well, there's nothing comedically that makes you go, fuck yeah, no one said that before.

That's what good comedy is. You articulate something that people have been trying to verbalize but haven't done it properly. Where's their big fucking insight as the Nazis are bad? Everyone's like, no shit. That's a part of the fucking reality. But that movie's not a comedy.

Yes, it is. No, it really isn't. It's like it's like it's a Hitler prancing around with a little child. It's a comedy the way, it is. No, it really, it really isn't. It's like it's like it's prancing around with a little child. It's got, it's, it's, it's a comedy the way Wes Anderson movies are comedies. Bad. They're not. No, no, no, no, it's, it's the, it's the quirk element and the, it's, oh, God. It can be multiple things. Yeah. Yeah, we'd never call that movie a comedy. Well, what do you think you think you're having more fun now that you got pushed into the dark corners of the internet? It's sort of bullied everyone into being in the corners of

the internet, and that's a pretty fun space right now. You can avoid getting entirely canceled. I mean, it really is. Are you familiar with the Ralph Retort at all? No, what's that? So Ralph, the Ralph Retort was, he was, he's a journalist. I think he started in journalism, like just a blogger trying to cut his teeth, breaking stories, whatever, you know, one of these, just one of these guys out there. He had the biggest show on YouTube for late night for a year, years. And then he hosted a charity stream a little over a year ago. He hosted a charity stream for St. Jude,

where they raised about 30 grand, and YouTube decided it was a bad look for them. So they wiped out his channel overnight. Somebody at the Wall Street Journal wrote a piece on him saying that all the people who donated this money were Nazis, whatever. What does YouTube have to say about that? YouTube says we don't want any negative press

on our super chat donation thing because that makes us a ton of money. So you channel's done. So fuck the kids. Fuck the kids. We're taking all the money from the kids and we're giving it back to the Nazis. And that channel.

Your money is no good here. And that channel is gone. So he's been relegated to D-live, which is a lesser platform, but it really, there is an element of fun to it, even though they fuck you out of that money, man. All the money in a state. Even if you're just looking like the New York scene

of, you know, take big Legion's Gangs or come down. Like, if this was 10 years ago, those would have been the top guys and they would have had television series and they would have been somewhat controlled by the industry to be honest. Whereas now, they're like, well, you can't be in this club and they're like, okay, we got to start this other club. And then you kind of see slowly, you're like, oh shit, the other club's actually destroying

this fucking lame club that you kicked everybody out of. Like, Joe Rogan's 10 times bigger than whoever the fuck, you know, whatever Stephen Colbert or whatever. So, I mean, you know, they're just, you're watching them and uploading them. I'm, I'm, I'm in the clubs in like New York City and I'm doing all the main clubs and you watch all the woke people

that kind of panned her to trying to get on Comedy Central or what they thought the networks wanted. And you see them bombing for audiences, the clubs don't want anything to do with that. So they're kind of like, fuck like, you know, I'm not, this isn't working with comedy central because everything's falling there. And now I'm falling in the clubs. And then everyone thinks what I'm doing sucks. So they're kind of having these identity

crisis with their woke comedy as well. It's fun to watch. It is great watching them like generate comedy that they don't like and that no one would like. I'll try to be really gross when those people switch, and then you see them like two years from now, when they switch over and they're like, the people are too sensitive and they're like, yeah, three years ago, that's gonna be the real version

to watch when you see some of those people switch their identity in pretend that they never thought that. Yeah. I'm gonna play one of your shorts. Do you have a favorite that you want me to play or I'll just pick? I like that sound one. The sound guy wants hilarious, because I'm no too many fucking

Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe something I mean depends I guess that stuff's not really what you're talking about right now I don't know. Everyone. Yeah, give me one. What's your what's your favorite which one? If you want to do about this if you're on my Instagram or what do you want? I'm on your website with your digital digital shorts page Digital shorts. I was gonna say you can play like a standup clip or something like that. Okay, yeah, tell me, which one? How about this transition and girlfriend?

Is that on there? Oh, you're right. Okay. Transitioning. If you can post a link, that would hold. I was just, I was doing on Instagram, okay, post a link. Oh, right, post on the chat. Oh.

I just got like Ryan, to be talking about all this cans of culture stuff and then it's like playing a video of me making fun of sound guys four years ago. Everyone's like, okay, I guess. This was the number one clip on TikTok for the last like four years. So I did like five million views on TikTok. Now what is a TikTok? You don't know what I thought you guys would be up on date on that. But this like, I'm 39 years old, man. I don't know. Shit.

Well, I think I just like a new app. But all right. I just assumed with this spaceship that I'm like looking at right now that you guys run your jadda. Okay, here we go. I'm going to play right now. This is Ryan Law. Ohos. Okay, here we go. I'm gonna play right now. This is Ryan Law. Oh, 72 genders. That ought to be fun. Here we go. I don't know if you guys know this,

but there is actually 72 genders now, which means that men are better than 71 genders. Boy, boy, boy! Yeah, you're right. Carry it away. Carry it away. I actually went to a bar that had gender neutral washrooms, and it's kind of weird,

because I'm just like taking a shit in a girl's washroom. And there's like these 20 year old girls looking at me, like what are you doing? I'm like, this is your idea of 20 year old girls. I'm in this on me. And then I came out and I was telling my body, it was kind of weird, and he goes, dude, this place doesn't have gender neutral washroom.

He just took a shit in the girls' washroom, and everyone's talking about it. I'm a little more progressive than you. I have a friend who, his girlfriend, came out of the class. She said she's gender-fluid, which means half the time she's a girl, and half the time she's a guy, which means my buddy's gay half the time,

which sucks because she pays the rent, and he's oh do I get a job or do I have a boyfriend like a dilemma he's in I Know it works like can they switch mid sex like he's having sex with her and it's like a full moon or whoever it happens and Giving it to her and she's just like Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer.

Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Give me a beer. Oh, that's funny. Need two genders. That's great. Full moon.

That got me full moon whenever it happens. Gender food. Yeah. You ever dabbled in gender fluidity, Ryan? I heard you guys talking about Beastieality stuff. I was doing a video where I was asking people if they wanted, I was doing both asking people if they want to fuck, if they should be all the fuck dogs and staying there beast phobic if they don't.

Or like, this is one that I was loving. I was saying this on stage a lot, saying that asking people if they should be all that sex with dead bodies and people will be like, no, obviously not. And I'm like, yeah, but that's a little necrophobic. Is that kind of like a lot of times you'll find these like anti gay marriage people having sex with men to same reason the necrophobes are always the one you catch at the morgue? Maybe laps so much. Yeah, I would, I would respect the position a lot more if they were, if they were a bit

more aggressive about it. Right? I said, dog's fuck you. You don't? Like that's, I'm all about it. Right. I got some fat dogs. Fuck you. You don't? Like that's, I'm all about it. They're always trying to, they're trying to stop stuff. Just to fly it. Yeah. Yeah. They're always on the defensive.

What they need, they need someone like, I got a guy who puts peanut butter in his dick and makes me lick it off. Yeah. See? That's a big impression. Yeah. That's a lot better. I'm, I'm starting actually my own division of zoo files

who are the aggressive, like the Republican side of the zoo file community. We don't explain, we don't explain, we assimilate, resistance is futile, like the Borg, like you will fuck, this is your first night at the zoo file club, you will fuck a dog, right? You're in. You're in, you're in for a penny, you're in for a nod.

Um. So you get a comedian to laugh, that's good. Yeah. All right, well, it makes you a rage, man. Anything make you a rage? And then you get, thank you for giving us so much of your time too. You really talk about it. Yes, you.

Oh, what makes me, what's like making me, what pisses me off right now? Yeah. You know what, I was just, I was saying is on my YouTube channel or about my Instagram channel just said this and I'm like I'm a podcast called The Boyz Guys with Ryan Long that I just started. Okay. But the thing that's making me almost makes me mad but it kind of makes me funny is like kind of makes me laugh since I've been in New York every single person will come up to

me and they'll be like when they find out I'm Canadian go, why on earth would you move to America right now? Like what's wrong with you? Oh, sure. Like, God. Yeah, are you crazy? Yeah. And I go, why not? And they go, because it's trouble.

You're going to move to this country, are you insane? It's a hell hole. And you're like, you don't understand that other people in the fucking world will all want to move to America. They're going to cost me like thousands of dollars in my whole career to get here. And you're like, you're, I always say Americans are like the rich kid with a big pool in trampoline. And you're like, you don't want to come to my house.

My dad's a Nazi. And everyone's like, we all want to come here. You're all in the country. You're like, you don't get it. My dad doesn't recycle. How is, how is healthcare in Canada? Can you dispel any rumors about that? That was one, I tell them that kind of politically, it sounds like I kind of probably would agree with kind of a lot of what you guys, I don't know, I'm somewhat libertarian or

whatever it would be, right? Yeah, intelligent, young white men, generally, are libertarian. That's how it works. Yeah, I mean, we don't really need any fun. I think I've been anything, I think I've been comedian before any of that stuff, but, but yeah, so I think I agree with a lot of those principles, but there is something to be said about the healthcare thing where a lot of times in America, they'll be like, I'll see all these people on TV being like in Canada, if you get healthcare, it takes you 10, 10 months to get your finger fixed in

your own. Yeah, that's not really true, but. No, I know it's not. You know what I mean? But I think healthcare in general is, the problem is Americans have such a culture of being scammers that you can't have any socialist things. That your health care should be fucking catastrophe insurance. Which I kind of agree that if you have a catastrophe where you could

hit by a car and it shouldn't be able to bankrupt you. There's a problem with the fact that you can break your arm and now you go to bill for $60,000 and bankrupt as your family. That is a problem. But it's hard to sell things as catastrophe insurance. Like in Canada, we have healthcare and now it's like, well, they should be paying for your transition surgery and they should be paying for your, be to going a therapist like twice a week or a thousand all.

So it's always this like slippery slow. But like at the core of like a universal catastrophe insurance of healthcare, like I think there's something to be said about when you're knowing that your family can't be like bankrupted by a accident that makes a more stable society. Yeah. Cancer too. Cancer has the same. I mean, it's unfortunate that I think everyone feels that way, but the people who want

to put that plan into action are, well, it's exactly like you say. There's just so many scammers that it could never happen like that. Like we all collectively want to protect people from bad luck. Like you get cancer, one in three of us is gonna get cancer and it shouldn't cost you $200,000. You know, and that's what it's like. You know, and that's what it's like, and that's what always happens in Canada

that's always fighting the deductibles. But it's like that's the, even if it's a $10 deductible, that's gonna prevent someone from getting a, you know, thousands of dollars with a pill they don't actually need just because they can, right? So, if you had a catastrophe insurance, like universal policy with a $10,000 deductible, it's like $10,000 isn't going to bankrupt your family, right?

So, I don't know, maybe something like that, but I don't know how it would happen. I don't know. I don't know what happened. I don't know. I don't know what happened. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not sure that any time soon. No. But what I'm worried about is by the same token, you've got a third of men in America who are not getting their dick sucked.

Where's that insurance, huh? Where's the universal basic sucks? Oh boy. Where's that coming in? Where's Bernie on? Who's got, who's got their back? Nobody. Right?

I agree. It could cost you, it could equally bankrupt you to get your dick sucked one time. Next thing you know, you're waking up, married, two kids, wife is leaving you, you're out everything. And you lost your soul. That's, and you've lost your soul. That's just as unlucky.

That's just as unlucky. And that's a deductible I'm not willing to pay dick 40 bucks for a drink. Oh man. Come on with it. Yeah with New York prices. I bet it is 40 bucks for a drink Yeah, I'm alright. Am I right? Yeah, I've definitely had that New York really hang out with the chicken. You're like let's go to this place and you're like I've been getting this $20 glasses of wine and you're just sitting there like grinding your teeth like girl. Oh man. My girlfriend doesn't drink, but she loves Shirley Temples and she drinks a lot

of them and every fucking one that comes out of my baby, this is a fucking $8 lemonade. We were in Japan and she would not fucking stop ordering lemonade. The Japanese in America, they will give you a free non-alcoholic drink, but in Japan, they will charge you the full price of it. And every fucking, if I, on New Year's Eve, I finally turn around and I was like, baby, do you really need another $8 lemonade at this flight? Come on.

Aren't you, don't you rather, the next one down, and you just drink a glass of water and fucking Pour it in a little bit. God dammit. You're you're way, I mean, you never have to worry about scurvy. You're fine. Fine. Can you suck on a lozen? You're something for a couple hours. Give yourself the flavor. Make your own lemonade in your mouth.

How are how are the women in New York? Right? Yeah, women in New York are rather're expensive and they're paying the ass. So a lot like women here. Okay, I'm from Toronto, Canada, so it's not that different. Like I'm from the city that's five million people, right?

So it's not. Yeah, I always wanted to go. I hear Toronto's a fucking great city. Well, we'll have a show there and then you can go and I can stay home because I'm kicked out of Canada. I would love that. You want to get it? Yeah, no, I can. I can't. I can stay home because I'm kicked out of Canada. I would love that. You would love that? Yeah, no, I can.

I tried to go to Australia. Oh, yeah. I got to deny entry to Australia last year. I've just never been to business or something else. A comedy of ours. A comedy of errors. And the Christchurch shooting happened the day before we submitted my application.

But I got sent on vacation. Everyone else got to go, but me. Oh, man, that stinks. All right, Ryan, get out of here. Thank you for coming, guys. I forget. I mean, everything is a Ryan Long comedy. Tone of videos on my Instagram and YouTube.

Ryan Long now. And now also the boys cast with Ryan Long. The boys cast. Yeah. It's a hand long. No girls will have. So if you're a girl, don't listen. I like it. Oh, I see. I'm coming. Goodbye. Speaking of girls, we have a lovely news girl in here today. Come over here. Please, please, please. Let's get you set up. Let's get you set up.

Let's do some. What did you think about Ryan? Sean. He had done so much stuff. Oh, I can, it seems like a big star. It seems like a regular so much stuff. I like him. Seems like a big star. Seems like a regular dude. Yeah. I like anybody who he's too funny. I like anybody who just kind of calls out absurdity because that's what it is. It's like, well, it's like,

my argument's always been like, just fucking be reasonable. Not everything is bigotry. Some things are, it's not. It's like, here's what I'm tired of. Yeah. I'm tired of pretending that some people aren't stupid. Yeah.

And I'm tired of reasonably, some reasonably intelligent people having to pretend or feeling they have to pretend that they're stupid. Yeah. In order to go along with the actual stupid people. Amen. Amen.

So you get an amen from Ashley. Yeah. Ashley, get on, you got to get on this mic. Sorry. Oh, we just want to hear you beautiful voice. A close and personal. It really hits home. It really hits home when you see the kids reacting

when I see a little Irishman or something reacting, like giving that dog tilt head like, well, that's not. It's like, yeah, that's not. It's like, yeah, man, you just got to, you got to pretend to be stupid. Oh, sorry, but that's just kind of the way it is. Anyway, saves a lot of energy. It saves a lot of energy.

But then while you're expending that energy elsewhere, the, the stupids are coming in and scooping it up at the end. Okay. Okay. Do you have news it up at the end. Get back. Okay. Do you have news for us today? Absolutely. I do. Thank you.

Thank you so much. But of course, already Daredevil mad Mike Hughes dies in steam rocket crash trying to prove the earth is flat. Mad Mike Hughes. I need to hear it anymore. This is very sad. Yeah. Mad Mike Hughes died in a rocket crash.

Yeah. A couple days ago trying to prove that the earth is bad. The great scientist. Yeah. Go ahead. Is this accurate? It's very accurate. 100% of everything we see on the show is.

Yeah. Especially the buzzbees gets people licked up and sends them home to drive trunk and kill people. And that at least one woman has drank too much at busbies and been raped. Oh my god. Whoa. That's a hundred percent truth. Just going with the odds. Jesus. Okay. Picking out randoms. Alrighty. Mad My Cues is believed to possibly be dead after launching himself in the air with itself made rocket that crash landed and it was captured on camera. The well-known Daredevil and amateur rocket engineer was doing a rocket launch Saturday

in what appears to be new near Barstow, California, where air reporters says Mike propelled himself into the air with a self-made steam powered rocket and then crash landed into the ground. Do you want to see the video? And they believe him to be dead? Yeah. Of course, yes, I feel like I want to see the video. I absolutely want to see the video. I have wanted to see every crash video ever since I saw the video on YouTube of the guy jumping

off the Eiffel Tower 110 years ago. You saw that? Yeah. I didn't know that existed. Oh, it exists. There's Phil, yeah, there's Phil. I'm trying to prove that the parachute works. Yeah, there's like, whoa, dude. He didn't even, he didn't even hesitate. He got right up on that rail and fucking there's a thing

looking through the base and he just goes, bam. It's great. Okay, let me find it. It's probably not. His friends were like, don't do this, dude. And he's like, get out of here. I know exactly what I'm doing. They're like, no, no, you don't.

No, you don't, man. It's like, no, yes, I do watch. I'll see you in a minute. Yeah, he's dead. Let me pull up his crash. Okay, here we go. Oh God. He's out in the desert.

So he got a bunch of money to prove that the earth was flat. Oh boy. What did he crowdfunded at or something or what? Something like that, yeah. All right, I'm gonna have to, Ashlyn, I'm gonna have to cut you out for a second. Oh, great.

I'm gonna have to cut you out for a second. Oh, great. He the neighbors don't work. He crowdfunded a rocket to shoot up into the air for we don't really know what reason. Well, prove that the earth is flat. Yeah, and how okay? Although you can prove that the earth is round with like a hundred yards and some pieces of wood.

Well, I know you can stay on terra firma, you know, and yeah, don't need a rocket. No, but I like it, so here we go. But if you're gonna prove something, why not do it with some style? Why not prove something big? Yeah, with a rocket, here we go. I didn't account for the wind.

What was that would happen? Probably. There it goes. It's launching. Oh boy. Okay, okay. This is where it turns. Hey, you fucking see the problem right? Right, right. Right here in the video, the parachute has deployed itself upon launch and has fallen to the ground. Right. So you, me, maybe watch, Von watching from the peanut gallery are saying, oh, that guy's dead. That's his parachute. It's just falling off of the rock. Right. Upon launch. Yeah. Maybe they didn't strap it down properly. Uh, here's the rest of this. So, maybe he didn't want to leave the atmosphere

too quickly. You think you'd want to button that down? Maybe check it twice. That would be one thing that I would probably check more than once. Let's see it again. Let's see the parachute falling. So wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

There's the parachute. Okay. Upon launch. Yeah, parachute's gone. Uh-oh. Now the rocket is out of steam. It has reached the... Oh boy.

There's the parachute falling. How's that for ironic? Uh-oh. Now he's falling. And no page. He could have made it. I mean, I thought it was a publicity stunt. Yeah, I mean, don't you think that's how how am I supposed to feel bad for that in any way?

Yeah, there's so many things to feel to feel bad for that in any way? Yeah. There's so many things to feel bad about in society and people getting cow. I was getting there. Just people, just there's so many ways, people just get fucked. And that, you know, I just go, you know what, bravo. Entertain me for 30 seconds.

Good for you, we need more like you. Okay, Ashley, no it's the rest. Is that the end of that story? Is there more? Yes, that is the end of that story. Okay, next story. Non-drinker's body produced its own alcohol. Oh, yeah. A man who said he never drank alcohol but often appeared drunk, turns out to have actually had a rare condition called auto brewery syndrome. actually had a rare condition called auto brewery syndrome. Auto brewery syndrome?

Auto brewery syndrome? That's not your real sign. We don't like brewery. Yeah. Yeah, so he's basically a walking brewery in which his gut began producing alcohol whenever he ate carbohydrates. For years, the 40-60-year-old man's family, doctors and police thought he was a closeted drinker. The man displayed aggressive behavior fell often and was even arrested for suspicion of driving well and of the six-year-old man's family, doctors and police thought he was a closeted drinker. The man displayed aggressive behavior, fell often,

and was even arrested for suspicion of driving while intoxicated. Auto Brewery's syndrome occurs when gut disturbances, such as an antibiotic use, result in growth of fermenting fungi in the intestines. I only see. When carbs, those pizza pasta bread, and soda, consumed the microbes turned the sugar in that fooder drink into ethanol leading to extreme blood alcohol levels.

So he makes his own liquor. Yeah. Yep. It's a thing. How can they not like, I need a crisper of that immediately. How do you not get his name on the article at least? Good question. Yeah. Good question. Non-drinkers.

Body produced its own alcohol. Just non-drinker. Oh man. I've heard of that. I would splice that shit. Yeah, that's my DNA. Would you just do second? I need a microdose liquor.

People microdose LSD. So you improve their brain functions and get over trauma. I need to microdose alcohol. So it's like if you got a family dinner you don't want to go to or something it's like okay well what are we having spaghetti? I'm there. I'm there. I am so hungry. Yeah give me that bread. Okay what's next? Give me that bread. Okay, what's next? Next one is white gaming. Ashen, can you read those papers further away from yours?

Yes. Everyone complains. Oh, die, am I covering? Yeah, yeah, you know exactly what it is. Dagnavit. It's so much better. White gaming. It's almost more professional and newsworthy like that.

Also, if you put the, like the, this is news, yeah. Yeah, we're going to go, yeah. Yeah, yeah. White, like that. Also, if you put the pink, like they just get the whole. Yeah, we're gonna go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that works. That's another very newsy pose. I like it. All right, these things aren't really. You don't like those? I don't. Get rid of them. Take whatever you want off. Yeah, you don't have to have them. You don't have to have anything. It feels like I'm muffleed in. All right. Where we at? White gay man claims his autism makes him harass black woman and hate Jewish people.

Sure. Me too. On that one as well. Shh. Ha ha ha. Ugh. Some things I just have no words for. Nick Star Street, this guy gets his name in the article.

Nick Star Street, a gay white man who became famous when a video of him harassing a black woman at a pool went viral, has now claimed that his racism is caused by his autism. Oh, man. These are more genetic anomalies that I need. Right. A racist strain of autism.

Wow. An auto-brewery syndrome. Uh-huh. Okay, keep going. I just think people have this like way too strong with desire to fit into a box of identity and it's just leading to like this crazy tornado. What do you mean? BS. Yeah. I think people have a problem not understanding things and I don't think we're meant to understand everything. Oh yeah. So when they don't have their clear identity of themselves, they need to make it and then to understand people.

That's insane. But the brain is a very simple device that needs to be categorized explicitly to be understood. You're so right. You're so right. You're either gay or straight, that's it. Period. And if you're either, you either love Jesus or you're going to hell.

Yes. You either believe in God or you don't. There's no sort of in between. No gray area in life at all. No understanding. You're either a gender fluid or you're not. You have to declare it. Right.

Boldly. No men like musicals. No men dance. your gender fluid or you're not, you have to declare it. Right. Boldly. No men like musicals. Something to be able to face with. No men dance. It's really fucking insane. It's insane. After listening to the black and white thinking

is absolutely insane and we have gotten so like that now, it's just crazy. It's crazy. At all is insane. I know. Like, would you rather fuck, would you rather fuck Lizzo or like the hottest trap in the world? I mean, if you had to, you remember Lizzo?

Yeah. That bitch that came on last week is talking about guys' dicks. Right. Mm. Disperagingly. Like, what is, there's just not the after listening to the dog fucking podcast. I'm thinking, I don't know, man, humans like,

no matter what kind of humans there are, they're all kind of the same, like a fuel twix here and there. Basically what I'm saying is straight sex is gay. If you like having sex with women, you're homosexual. Sure, because it's just a guy without a dick. You think God likes that? You think God doesn't want you fucking a guy with a dick, but he wants you fucking a guy with no dick?

I don't think so. Just making sense? Perfectly. It's the crystal clear. Australian IPA is getting pumped full of. I think once you're lost, you've arrived. There we go. There you go.

It's like the most, you know, gonga to gonga. Yeah. Gonga, gonga. Gonga. Yeah. Gonga, gonga. Yeah. Right. On your deathbed, you'll receive total consciousness. Oh, so I got that going for me.

Right, back to the article. Which is nice. You were saying some assinine things about people in there. Yes. People in their brains. To their bodies. So this gay white man, he famous through a video, going viral, and he might be telling the truth

according to his autism researchers. I'm telling the truth. We got our own science now. Bam! Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm, I'm, I'm, right? Sure. I'm a fourth degree black belt autism. Wow, how's some racism? Here's some racism for you. I'm cleared. I got a prescription for this racism.

Right, right, right. Oh, you're cleared to see you've got the pass. That's right. Well, N word away, sir. Thank you. I know you're just doing your job. Yeah. Okay.

In a separate incident in the same moment, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, That's right. Well, and word away, sir. Thank you. Yeah. I know you're just doing your job. Yeah. OK. In a separate incident in the same month, Star Street stalked two black women for a mile and called the police because the woman

were drinking wine and taking pictures at an apartment pool. Hang him. I reverse everything I said. Next news, please. Moving forward, all right. Sounds good to me. Man will pay you 25k if you find him a girlfriend. A Kansas based entrepreneur is offering 25,000 to the real-life keeper who can lead, land him a girlfriend. I'm single and I don't want

to go back to the normal at base dating stuff. says Jeff Gebhardt in the welcome video on the landing page of the normal date. Jeff G dot com. That's normal. Normal now. Well, like app based dating is like is normal now. Wait, what's normal now? No, it's like he I don't want to go back to the normal app based dating.

Right. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. So yeah, as opposed to like just, you know, going out or meeting people. You're not going out. It's. No, it's going out. It's a circus. Bars ruined it. Boomers ruined it by licensing. Like you were saying last time, by the making bars exist in shitty spots.

Everything is licensing. And then bars ruined it by pumping the music in the TVs. Totally. Well, and women ruined it because they don't own bars. If women own bars, they would be much more welcoming to women. Don't you think? I think you're right.

I think you're right. And they were like craft based. Like, you could come in and make friendship bracelets and doldos and stuff to women and getting sexier. I definitely wanted to create that came to mind about a year ago. Yeah. I must don't want to say it because it's so good.

Well, then keep it to your grave. Don't ever tell anyone. No one will ever be able to experience it. No one will ever be able to experience it. Sure, but it's kind of gonna give it away. I don't really care. Senses. Senses.

Senses, the five senses. Like touch. Did you talk about a strip club? No. No, you can go a million good directions with this actually. Sent of baby oil, the taste. Doesn't have to be revolved around a woman per se. A taste of perfume.

More so around. Let's change it right off that bitch. What else was there? Touch, taste, smell, sound, and sight. Sight, yes. Sight, then that's the bar. Touch tastes smell sound and sight. Then that's the bar. So the idea basically was that each corner have you of the bar would...

A pentagram. Okay. Angle whatever level would cater to that sense. So you have a level where everyone's all blindfolded and is walking out their tongues. I didn't really work out with specifics yet. That's why that's for the beam counters. This is your dream. It just, you know, I'm a visionary. So I have ideas coming in faster than they come out. Right. Yeah. I don't really have like the gumption to put them in emotion. I just touched. Tastes.

Tastes. Well, look, if you if you can come up with a great concept, yeah, wow. Stale, what'd you say Vaughn? Coke room. Coke room. Just lines of coke. You could go around not in my bar. Not in your bar.

There's other senses too though, right? Um, um, sense of humor. Yeah, sense of humor. Is that going to be in your bar. There's other senses too, though, right? A sense of humor? Yes, sense of humor. Is that going to be in your bar? A lack of senses. A sense of time, OK. The num room.

All righty, back in. So yeah, he doesn't want to go back to the old school dating apps and launch this week. The website also promises an additional 25,000 to a local no-kill animal shelter. And a distance. Well, that's good. Wait, who promised?

This fucking nerd. Oh, this guy, well, that's, what a jack. How does he not have a girlfriend already? Honestly, I just by saying that. Because he has no dick, that's why. Or it's a scam. I think it's a scam, whoever he hires, he actually wants to date, you know,

and he's trying to lure them in with the dog and the money. Well, you believe that prostitutes exist, and this guy's giving away $25,000 that someone pretend to be his like him and can't date. It's the direct transaction thing. It's just, go ahead, okay. What's the next thing? That seems like a scam, right?

Yeah, he says there's no money saving here for me. It's just reappropriating ads, give heart dating is expensive. There's a lot of dates, dinners, drinks, acts throwing, whatever. Those who want to throw their hat in the ring will have to fill out an application that asks for a picture, plus links to social media profiles

and to answer, agree or disagree or neutral to statements on subjects ranging from politics to bar preference. Sounds like a winner. I think he's, that's not enough money actually 25. Maybe he should just try animals. No cash winnings for self-elected girlfriends, so I guess it isn't a scam. He wants another woman to actually I hate him. Yeah, I don't understand it. Okay, what's the next one?

Just get Mike Bloomberg in there Clint Eastwood distances himself from Trump Long time Republican Clint Eastwood is pulling support from Donald Trump in the 2020 election. And an interview with the Wall Street Journal, the actor director's signal that he thinks a different candidate would be better, would be the better choice. Yeah. Yeah. Bloomberg.

What do you think about Mike Bloomberg, Ashlyn? What do you think about how tall he is? You know, being completely frank, I'm the worst person to ask about anyone famous because I don't know Jack Diddle. He's not famous. He's just very rich. I know nothing you know nothing about Bloomberg I live in a bubble you live in a bubble. You know he's running for president We didn't wait. You know what? We have a president in the US. I actually don't pay any mind to any of it

You know you're probably you're probably better off mentally. Oh good good good. No, I think you know it's all Out of our hands anyhow. Yeah, What kind of things do you like? Oh, man, that's a deep question for a deep, that's true. For a deep gal. Do you believe in America? Oh, I believe in love. Trump is all about love. You should give him what else do you believe in? Do you believe in hopes and dreams? You should give him what else do you believe in? Do you believe in hopes and dreams? Uh, that's the freaking literally and people following them. That's the freaking dream. Trump is 100% about that. He's followed his hopes and dreams his whole life. And he has said many times that he loves women who do that.

So it sounds like Trump's a guy. Bloomberg hates dreams. I like that you like. He hates dreams. He's got about finance and bean counting and bullshit. He would hate your restaurant. Oh, man. That's not it. He's got all about finance and bean counting and bullshit. He would hate your restaurant. Oh man. That's not it. It's a bar. He would hate your bar. Is that not that camp? I don't know how to feel. So yeah. There's one more. Okay, there's one more. This is the pigeon one. Yeah. So this is written in a language. Pigeon is a language that like unifies all the Caribbean dialects.

It's a phonetic language. And you have to, it's difficult to explain without sounding racist. It's a, it's a, it's a Gestalt of the South Caribbean language. It's a phonetic language that is a Gestalt of the, if somewhat African and South Caribbean languages, that any ethnicity could participate in,

and you just try to read it phonetically. Yeah, this is the BBC. Who puts the BBC to put this out? It's hard for me to be sure we're reading the same thing here. Coronavirus. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Virus. Coronavirus virus, because you have to say it twice.

Africa Health System, no go fit handle disease outbreak. Who? WHO? Yes. WHO, not who. Who? No, it's who. It's a world health organization.

Who is WHO? WHO? They're the world health organization. Yes. Don Samo Warnings say Africa Health Symptoms, no two. Oh, wow. Yeah. You weren't joking about this. Other language. No to. Oh wow. Yeah, you weren't joking about this other language. You get a good start.

Oh, this is, yeah. You just have to, you have to say it. Like it's written. It's got a power through it. Today equipped to handle outbreak of D deadly. Or D deadly. D deadly. D virus and to D content.

You're doing great. You know thank you. Thank you. Who Chief Tedros had a hand-known? I feel like I'm learning any language here. Not even going to try that one. Say make all states wayby members. Yeah, wayby members. members. Yeah, way be member. Union rubbed mine together on how dem plan to tackle devirus. I found black. The African hammer. You're gonna put their heads together and figure out how dem gonna tackle the virus. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. Is that it? Yeah. Started in December, two thousand days. Okay. Okay. Don't kill more than two thousand, two,

or twenty two hundred people. People, yeah. And more than 7,500 people. Then they infect it. Yeah. For China. Yep. Very good.

Yeah. That's news. That was very good. Thank you very much. That was a Yep, very good. That's, yeah. That's news. Very good. Thank you very much. That was a, excellent. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Thank you for coming in. What do you think about that coronavirus?

I don't know, man. I, I don't, I don't care. I'm not worried about it. You don't care. No, I'm not bad. Oh my God, you're as bad as Maddox. Yeah, worse. The flu is worse than the coronavirus, right?

Well, yeah, I mean, technically, yes, at this point. They're not fuck with my stocks. That's all I give a shit about. They're not fucking, that coronavirus, but I'm not making a fucking dent in my stocks. Or you'll have a, you'll have a personal vendetta against Trump. Coronavirus, fucking coronavirus. What else do I have here? have a personal vendetta against Trump. Coronavirus. Coronavirus.

What else do I have here? Oh, a teen with Down syndrome becomes a successful model. How about that? You wanna see that, Sean? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And this is what sealed my trip to hell. This is a, uh, I like it. I like it. Vaughn's out of here. Teen with Down syndrome becomes a successful model and finds a smooth talker boyfriend. 15 years after doctors told her mother to put her in an institution.

Wow. What a nice story, uplifting tale. Kennedy Garcia from Colorado Springs was dismissed by doctors when she was born and other said her put her up for adoption now she's fifteen signed a talent agency flies to new york nl a for auditions uh... model for american girl justice clothing disney in a period on this is us well she met her boyfriend nineteen year old math you

she's fifteen by the way uh... well yes now how do these how do these rules work? I don't, you know. And the two recently went to home coming together. She gives talks at schools and teaches other kids how to be friends with people with Down syndrome. Wonderful.

Wonderful that that's what they're learning. How to be friends with people with that Oh, what a love the girl. Oh glad can't wait can't wait can't wait for the future holds Okay, I've got some comments and some advice actually please hang out with us Oh, sure if unless you have something to do unless you have a dog to feed at home. I know that's a common I have two kiddies, but I'm happy to hang out Okay, I have comments. Let me bring some comments.

And then I'm going to play the prank call with Buzz Bees. Oh, he did it. And somebody, yeah, he got your suggestion. Oh, God. Okay. Hey, Dick, I recently got an email from the director of diversity efforts in my college. Not a diversity stuff today. I don't know why.

Apparently, it's racist to cover your face when someone sneezes. I thought you would enjoy. Feel free to read this on the show. Just don't know why. Apparently it's racist to cover your face when someone sneezes. Thought you would enjoy. Feel free to read this on the show. Just don't use my name. Cover your face when you mean to know if that's his real name though. That seems like a joke. You mean to protect yourself from them?

That's racist. If somebody says, Wait, did you mean them Chinese people are reviruses? I mean the sick person. That's racist. It has to be the virus. I'm sure they here. It doesn't say it doesn't say the ethnicity of the person who sneezed. Does it there? I don't know. Here's the email. Okay. I'm sure that many of you, this is a an email from

the director of diversity efforts at a college, a US column. Yeah. I'm sure that many of you who have heard about the recent Corona virus outbreak, which the who recently labeled as a public health emergency, but unfortunately with this statement of emergency came anti-Asian racism and xenophobia. Wow, really. As your director of diversity efforts, I would like to remind our fellow students that coronavirus is not an excuse for racism. Racism can be as simple as a microaggression of covering your face when someone next to you

who looks like they come, this is all bold, by the way. This part was the important, this was the takeaway. Who looks Asian in any way? Who looks like in any way? Who looks like they come from Asian descent. I guess they wrote that in kind of like an Asian dialect too. Who looks like they come from Asian descent sneezes or coughs. Yeah, that's racist.

That this is the reaction time of these racists is, so they've, this is what we lost our goddamn mind. Like the racists are on the bus. They hear a cough and then they look, they had no impulse to cover themselves, but then they see it's an Asian person and then they go, this is like the quickest draw,

these are nanoseconds we're talking about, right? Right up in the face. There are also acts of more malicious behavior, such as coughing intentionally, when you walk past or sit near an Asian student, just because you want to see their reaction. Who is doing what? Who the fuck thinks to do that?

Let's see if we can make the Asian person think the white person has it? See what have that or something? If someone's doing that, it's not to see their reaction. Yeah, it's just to make fun of them for eating bats and stuff like that, right? I don't fucking know. I don't think that's ever happened. When you refer to the coronavirus, oh, so smokers get that shit all the time,

but now all of a sudden it's fucking racist. When you refer to the coronavirus as China virus or Wuhan virus, that can also be a form of racism and xenophobia. Wow. Okay. The public health emergency is affecting our planet for the better. CO2 is down 25% in China.

The public health emergency is affecting our planet, our friends, our families, and our people on a daily basis. Why we, while we are disheartened to see the rising number of people who are suffering, we need to stop racism and xenophobia from adding to the wounds. The wounds of dead people. and xenophobia from adding to the wounds. The wounds of dead people? What the, let's face the situation calmly and rationally, give each other trust and care to each other. Jesus Christ. And get through the hardship together,

exclamation point. Retacted the director of diversity efforts. Wow, that's great, Thanks, man. I'm sorry that you're going to that place. Hey, Dick, you know, I'm really grinds my gears. Boen are killing porn previews. It's from Joe. I'm all ready to go with the sorority BJ contest I picked out as one does. But first I have to sit through some cam girl pig with floppy pantids who is sucking on a dildo while anal beads are hanging out of her fat ass for the longest five seconds ever.

Is that happening? Every day. Sean, is that happening? If I had a nickel, where do you go to look at your porn? What site? The site comes to mind when I say pornography on the internet. Pornhub, probably. It's like the first one that comes to mind.

Okay, how about you, Ashley? Same. Same. Okay, a bunch of liars. It's kind of in here and so that. No, it's kind of everywhere, isn't it? It's the one everybody knows. I think safe porn when I think of porn hub.

Safe porn. Yeah, like. I got a Google and Wikipedia. Wikipedia. Yeah. Also, what, the worst problem then pissed dribblets is cum dribblets. This was never a problem for me before I turned 40. I used to be able to rub one out, clean up, and leave the house.

Now I have to stuff a paper towel down my pants afterwards because I'm going to drip gizz for the next 10 minutes. And yes, my prostate is fine. It's not fine. Thanks, Joe. Here we go. Hey, Dick and Sean. Yeah. Listening to you read that garbage from Lizzo was infuriating.

So I thought I'd write in. I can't yell at her, but you can yell at her on my behalf. Last year, I got dumped by my live-in girlfriend, ending a three-year-long relationship. And I quote, you're not tall enough. Took her a while to notice, didn't it? Three years. She's, you've been walking around in your tiptoes the whole time.

You must have, I never knew you were short. I'm telling you, they don't know. You could just say you're six feet tall. If you are this much taller than her, they don't fucking know. Uh. She was waiting for him to change. You're all funny.

At five six, I was four inches taller than her. So she's five, too. Busting this guy because he's not six feet tall. Have you ever dumped a guy for that reason? Negative. How tall are you? You know, I'm shrinking. I used to be five, eight.

Now I'm five,7 and a half. A half, five, seven. Below something like that. What's the shortest guy you would date at 5-7? I honestly, like, my... Sounds really corny, but my type is the heart. So I don't really look at looks until after. They become attractive to me after.

So you a day to guy that's three feet tall. If he had the right heart. I couldn't tell you. Be reasonable. Be reasonable. Be reasonable. Be reasonable. In the year since I have yet to land a single new date, I've been rejected the better

part of a dozen times. So like eight times? Every single time you're not tall enough and they don't just say this, they say it to my face. Oh my God, Lizzo might be bitching about being a cow, but at least when people say that about her, they wait until she's out of the room. Why is he just ask out a petite woman?

Well, he was dating a girl who's five two. You don't get any shorter than that. That's true. He needs to go after dogs. Well, it makes me a rage. When do you think men aren't judged on their looks? I'd tell her to go fuck herself, but that's our phrase.

Her people aren't allowed to use it. All right, well, that's too bad, man. Let me see if Flash Senpo is around. Oh, political friends. Oh, okay, where age equals happiness. You wanna see where you get happier in life, Sean? I can tell you. When, when you're over, when it's done,

this might give you some, this might make you a little happier. Where age equals happiness. This is a happiness survey. Here's what they say. Who the heck takes these surveys? That's what I wanna know. Like the happiness is to do. I don't take these.

Sigarette companies. They're responsible for all these surveys. And the surveys sum up everybody. It's just a loaned enemy. This is baloney to you. So this is your happiness. When you're 18, is that a very high level of happiness? Yeah, that was drops off a cliff.

That's funny for me. Mine started off the cliff. This is all relative. Mine started in the ravine. Then it went lower. Did it not go lower? Well, that's right. I, yeah, I was, I hit the, I hit the mantle of the Earth at 22, I think.

Okay, then I got a little lower, 26. Right. Is that true for you? Get close to the core. Yeah. Then it went up a little bit, 34 to 37. And then down a little bit for 38 to 41. Yeah, down a little bit more, 42 to 45,

down a little bit more. Yeah, there comes. 42, down a little bit more, 46 to 49, down a little bit more, 50 to 53. And then it seems to, then it starts going up. 54 and climbs back up. And you're at the end, 82 82 to 85 you are a little bit happier. Yeah, then you were when you were 18 and doesn't that give you hope?

It does, yeah, it does make a lot of sense and here's I've been thinking about this. Okay. Right. You're 39. I'm 42. Wow, you're 42? Yeah, 40. You don't look a day over 45. Thank you. And your 40s is, it is the age of irrelevance. 40s are your, I've, people go, oh yeah man, no 40s are when it starts getting good. Bullshit. Yeah, bullshit.

There's nothing good about being in your 40s. You're not old enough to be considered cool. Like say like somebody like Larry, right, who's in his 60s. Like you're like, oh, that fucking guy's cool man, like he's with it. Forties, the girls don't look at you anymore. What, Larry, everybody likes Larry. Yeah, I don't know if they're saying he's cool. I don't like Larry too, but I don't know about people

who are going around saying Larry's cool. Like he's like a hip older guy, right? Cause he can talk to people, younger people listen to him. You're not older enough to be the lies, Larry. No, I'm just using him as an example. You jackass. That's a weird example though. Okay, pick somebody else.

Like, no, he's the first one to say. He's the first one who came to mind. Okay. People who are like in their 20s are like, I mean, dude, you're like in your 40s, you can't be hit. Like, there's no, you're, how are you going to be hip? Right? You're not, you don't even know what the latest fucking social media app is. Like, app is like, it's a shock is it all. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. So what I'm saying to you, my friend is being more like Larry. Are you? No, I'm saying, make sure my friend, is being more like Larry? No, I would say make sure you're good with your relationship. Okay.

You want to definitely good with your relationship. If you want to stay in what, because once you start saying you're, hang on. Yeah, 40. Yeah, 50. 40. Yeah, you're gonna, you better, you're just buckle down. What do you mean good in your relationship? That's what I'm saying.

If you're gonna trade 80s girl in, do it before you turn 40. Why, but then I can be Larry. No way. I'm not tell you're older. That's what I'm saying. Not tell you're older. Are you wanna be Larry when you grow up?

40s are, what I'm, no, I'm using him as an example of life somebody who's cool that you wanna be when you grow up. 40s are what I'm, no, I'm using him as an example of like somebody who's cool that you want to be when you grow up. That I want to be. I'm saying you have to be that age to be to be as cool as Larry. To be considered to be in your 50s or 60s to be considered cool at all. I, because a lot of people from this show listen to him. Yeah, I'm saying.

That's great. Yes. Yes, Larry. Yeah, I listen to him. That's all I'm saying. It's great. Yes. Yes, Larry. Larry is a cool older guy. So where do you think he is on this happiness index? I bet he's pretty fucking happy. You think so?

Yeah. What do you think he is? 60, 55? I bet he's, I bet, I bet Larry is the happiest he's been in his life. You know what, my dad, what is my dad? 69? Is he that? He's probably 69, that fuck,

if I had to guess his age, it probably would be 69, right? And he would call me up, yeah, I'm 69. He's not, he's not because my parents are. I know they're in, I know they're younger. I know they're three. Yeah, no, so he's like 66. He'll be turning 67 this year. So, look at where he is on the happiness index.

Way the fuck hold on, I'm gonna put this in big browser mode. That motherfucker is all the way up here on 67, and I'm all the way down here. Yeah, I'm gonna punch him right in his, he had just had hernias surgery. I'm gonna punch him in his hernias surgery next time I see him. This way, it's gonna just wait till you fucking turn 40, man. How about you, Ashland, you feel like this happiness index is accurate?

You're a female. They plotted the, I mean, weirdly, they've studied the women too, even though no one cares. I think this is another sad attempt to put things in a box and understand them. It's remarkable that the women have lied to mimic the men's happiness index. I think men just don't talk about their feelings because they haven't been socially allowed. Oh, no, we've been allowed. We don't like it. You know why?

Because you talk about your feelings and then you get berated immediately. That's the exchange. That's true. Why don't you ever talk about your feelings? Because you, because you and everything you do and say and how you are and everyone that I've ever met and encountered and loved in my life has been exactly the same way, that's why.

It is so fucking true, like everyone's like, be vulnerable, the moment you're vulnerable, nobody wants to hear it, they want you to go back to the fake mask, because it's like, okay. I don't hear that shit. I got my own problem. Yeah, right, don't be fucking real. Just wait, well, you gotta, you gotta road ahead

of less and less happiness. Yeah, we got a lot, look, we got a long road to plow here. Yeah, yeah, this is a big dip. I think I like already did that. Where are you on this, on this scale? Do you have a great fucking question? The girls have kind of an up to, the girls have, ironically, the girls kind of drop off a cliff at 18.

And then they go up until their mid 30. It's actually pretty accurate where I'm at, because I'm 27, so I say I'm right at that point of coming up from the low. All right, we'll get ready. This is gonna be a bad, I'm buckled up. This is gonna be a bad time for you. Do you think that has to do with, some of that has to do with like women who do want kids

who are like, oh shit, I'm getting to that age where it's older and older and like that makes, like skew the result, like I wonder if you separated it into. I'm getting old. I'm getting older. Yeah, I don't know. I think most of it has to do with the federal reserve. Yeah, I don't know. I think most of it has to do with the federal reserve. Yeah, okay.

You know what? We'll go with that. Okay, what else do I have here? California bill would require occupational licenses for porn actors, strippers, and cam girls. Oh, that sounds good. The bill would require adult entertainers and video performers, including webcam performers to obtain a business license and complete digital performance. Yeah, that's funny. That chick was just so on her rules. Yeah, it wasn't upsetting to

me. Okay. Well, I guess we're doing rules now. Should I? Why not? Yeah. Do you want to hear the print calls from Buzz Bees? Yeah, sure. All right, let's do that. So Ashlyn, this venue signed a contract with me so we could do a live show. Hundreds of people are coming in. It's already sold out. 200 guys coming in. Oh, yeah. And the venue then determined that I would, that the venue then revoked it.

They said, you're not doing a show here. We don't care that we sign a contract, fuck you. Because we got sent materials that you're a hateful, something or other. I forget how they said it. You were on Dr. Phil. Yeah, you were on Dr. Phil being a misogynist. So now you're done.

Anyway, King Richard called them. Do you wanna listen to the full call? I think so. How long is it? Eight minutes? Oh, Jesus. We'll go through it piece by piece. Here we go. Thank you for holding this. This is Steve Day from the Comptroller's Office here in LA. This is Steve Day from the Comptroller's Office here in LA. Wait, who's this? This is Steve Day from the Comptroller's office here in LA. Oh my god. Okay. Is this an owner or? I'm the general manager. Okay. Great. We were told there was going to be an event there. Something about a Maddox's funeral. We just had the person calling and report it. And we weren't sure what was going on

Oh, okay. Yeah, so we canceled that event. Um, I can let you know what happened if you have time. Oh Wow, this is some major ops going on. Thank you King Richard. Okay. Here we go. Do you know this guy that called in this prank collar? Yeah, I don't know. I personally know Got it. He's just a fan. Yeah. Cool. God, the guy's already bought in a hundred percent the stupid ass hole at BuzzWeeze. All right. Yeah. Here we go. I do have time. Oh, sure. Yeah. Cause we're getting it now as well from this group. Anyway, we booked an event. Yeah, you fucking deserve it. You deserve to get it forever because you can hear a business that cancels contracts

over politics if you like if you like jokes over something that they don't understand if you like jokes don't patronize the establishment uh... here we go and supposed to be uh... a podcast event icy that's what they told us it was a podcast event you know all good vibes, you drink.

We booked this event for these guys. It's called the Dix show. Yeah, okay. And then come to find out, we received a few emails from this guy named Maddox. Did you hear that? I'll be damned. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Can you hear now? Okay. You got it right? A few emails. You're Johnny on the spot. A few emails from a guy named Maddox. I got to hear that again.

Yeah. I got to hear that again. Who tried to sue for $380 million and was laughed out of court. Yeah. Who's psycho? It's called the Dix Show. Oh, yeah. OK.

And then come to find out, we received a few emails from this guy named Maddox, who said that basically this is not a podcast. This is what they tell. This is what they tell venues that they're going to. I see. Did you get the email from this? The paddock?

Yes. Yes, I did. Is his name George? I got a phone call from a guy named George. Oh, God, the print call. You got a phone call from a guy named George? Oh, yeah. He said he went by Maddox, so I was a little confused about that.

Yeah. We just got an email. It was a random email to our work group. This guy named Maddox, and it was like, it's not a, it's not a, it just got an email. It was a random email to our work group. This guy named Maddox and it was like, it's not a, it's not a podcast. It's actually a hate group. Who says the end word? No, nobody on this show has said the end word. Hazen Kruz did. We bleeped it. Oh, yeah. One time. No, we don't do, yeah.

One time, not even Domey Peso says it. Oh, I gotta have that on. I gotta have that, they gotta filth, oh man. Are you kidding me? I would never say the N word on the air. That's preposterous. I hate group, that's fucking hysterical. Built by a guy named Dick Masterson,

who wrote a book sin who wrote a book Who wrote a book called men are better than women and went on the doctor Filch show where the shaved head and mirrored aviators and a fucking white Lin and suit like it wasn't nothing. I hate group that says the end word It's you know, it's it's not a podcast. It's not a podcast. It's a hate group that says the n-word. What's your hate group? What's your hate group?

We say the n-word. Unbelievable. What's your hate group about when we just say the n-word all day every day? That's what we do. Okay. It's actually a hate group who says, you know, the N word. Oh, you know, calling people gay and I get to miss them. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, calling people the Eftsler. This guy is in a casual conversation, dropping an employee at BuzzB's uses the F slur in a casual Work related conversation. Can you believe that? Sean So I'm sorry the N word gets the N word gets sanitized But a homophobic slur against gay people does not Wow but a homophobic slur against gay people does not?

Wow. If I have an employee that's at work, that's on the phone and uses the F slur in any context, that person is immediately fired, fired, done. There is, first of all, there's no reason for you to explain why this hate group was canceled. Secondly, if you're using the F-sler to do it, representing our business, you're fucking fired.

Yeah, man. That's it. There's no, you had to use the word, it's a homophobic epithet. Yeah, it's a positive. You're done. You're done here, buddy. you're done answering phone that phones about these

uh... i i'm not even going to play it again i'm so offended ha ha ha ha ha ha uh... and we looked up their stuff and you know we made a decision based on that to cancel their event and so we called that and cancel the event and now their people have been harassing us. No. False leaving stuff, we had to disable our Yelp account.

We had to disable certain emails, we had to block a lot of people. How dare they get called out. I know. Gosh. Actually, they had to block certain emails. Ah, so time consuming. Gosh. They couldn't just let that email sit on their inbox. We had to go certain emails. Ah, that's so time consuming. Gosh. They couldn't just let that email sit on their inbox.

We had to go block it. And open it. Ah, block it. My leave, I read it. Archive. I might be tempted to use the F-slip. I cannot believe that Buzz Bees employs people who casually use the F-slip like that.

I've never said it in my life. To a city official. Even to a city representing the business to a city official. Comptroller. Comptroller. Comptroller. Comptroller's voice, right?

I mean, you can't assume, how do you know that you're not? I know, he's not an F-slur. I mean, a gay man. Yeah, you can't just get on the phone representing a business and drop any of that shit. I can't believe that. Yeah, I can't believe Buzz on the phone representing a business and drop any of that shit. I can't believe that. Yeah, I can't believe Buzz Bees would employ someone like that. I can't fucking believe it.

Here we go. Not a friendly group of people. You got that right? I like it. Do you have that email from George Avable? King Richard. I mean, from Maddox, I mean, yeah, why? Well, I was just wondering if it's coming from the same address that we received an email

because we got an email and a phone call. What do you, what do you, what do you, what's regarding? I'm sorry, what's that? What is, what is yours regarding? I, you, you're from the, which office and are you throwing an event with these people? Or do they reach out to you? I'm with the comptroller. I'm with the city of Los Angeles.

Right. I'm in the comptroller's office. I work for the mayor. And so he's been contacting the mayor and telling him about your event. And we just weren't sure what to make of it. I was trying to understand what was going on. Fucking mayor. In fact, I think the mayor actually tried to call the number that he left back to tell him. Thank you for sending us the like and that we canceled't pull that event but i can't get a hold of them you fucking asshole you tried to call maddox back and thank him see

they they don't know that he's deranged god fucking dammit yeah he's insane he's alright here we go uh... phone number that he left on the work pop email is not a working number. It doesn't pay a phone bill. I can't find him on any social media. I can't, yeah, I just, I can't find him anywhere. Oh, okay.

So I don't know how to contact him to tell him that thank you for sending the email. It's been canceled, but the number he left. What are you going to thank him? He doesn't even know. That's not a car. It's just like man, an edible arrangement. Man, what that guy doesn't know could kill him. I mean, it's insane.

What, who fucking George is? I tried your thinking so many times. What he's done. I mean, talk about, talk about just a guy who projects everything he thinks and does on another group. So this guy, everything, yeah. Who we're talking about, we used to do a show with him for like two years, we had a show with him.

And then one day we were on tour and we all passed out drunk and we woke up, we didn't have our clothes on and he saw how much bigger our dicks were than him. Oh, jeez. Flipped out, he flipped out, he canceled the show. He sued us. Really messed up his brains and now here we're at. He sued us. This part is real.

The other part was real too, but this part is real. He sued us for half a billion dollars. Half a billion dollars. He got the dumbest like Lionel Huts. Is Lionel Huts a reference? So, do you know who Lionel Huts is? Nope. Okay. Didn't think so.

What would be an example of a lawyer who's just totally worthless? None to me, cause- Michael Avenatti. I don't know names. He's not only names. He got a lawyer, he got a dog bite lawyer, does that reference land?

Amulance Chaser. Amulance Chaser, how about that? People who are just poking out a bubble right now. Well, I will, I would love to be a lawyer. A lawyer who's just trying to scam people into filing fraudulent lawsuits, so he can take their money. Yes, a lawyer.

He got a lawyer. Yes. Right. Tomato tomato. Yes. And so that's where we're at. And then he's been bitching ever since, like he complains about everything.

Always calling people. He had his girlfriend call her school. Oh yeah, she's got a restraining order. I get the, yeah. It's a lot of energy. No, it's a lot of energy, right? It's not making any money. Just making all the money off of.

Outnote lies. Okay, here we go. Work, control yourself. I'm a rewind a little tiny bit. Can you believe that there's moron stayed on the phone for eight minutes? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Buzzbees, all they do on the phone all day using F-slurs,

using homo, phobic, insults. Somebody, if somebody calls your office, Sean, if somebody calls you at work, is there anything that they could say that would make you use a homophobic Efsler? No, me either. No. Never an omnivore capacity. Never. But BuzzBees, that's there. That's their M.O. That's the way they conduct business. If you're an employee at BuzzBee's day, if somebody from the city calls in

and wants to talk about like any kind of contracts, legal stuff, am I okay to use a homophobic Epsilon? Absolutely. We trust you to make that judgment at the time. We trust you to make that call. It's necessary on the call, absolutely. We're BuzzBee's, there you go. Contact him to tell him that thank you for sending the email. It's been cancelled.

But the number he left on our work email is not correct number. Did have a good five in it, but you don't know the address he emailed from then. I'm looking for it right now. Why, what did did email you guys? It said, my headcastmedia.com, George at madcastmedia.com is what ours came from. We just weren't sure if this was the... I know, what did he say and the email to you guys? He said that your company is affecting his livelihood,

and then he's a famous author. It's making the self. It really doesn't make a lot of sense to be honest. It's like the ravings of lunatic. Actually, I think I found it all in one second. Sorry, there's just so many emails from this hate group that emailed us. Yeah, good. Check on the hate group.

About the mathematics thing. We don't say that's for us at work. Okay, I have found it right here. I've never had. He used matic at xmission.com. Oh, but when you emailed him back he didn't respond now i didn't get a response back it's a hello

this message is from george azone and i'm an author several books you know football box played all right yeah that's the name that he gives me and then he talks about his uh... stalker named acts are rarer oh stalker thanks for believing that out, guys. And then he's a group. And then sends us all these links and a whole bunch of stuff. So, yeah, we have canceled that event.

So, I don't understand how we are affecting his livelihood. He is not called. Yeah, it's very odd. He's not called me. He's not gotten back to me. He's not called the restaurant. He's not called to ask to speak with the general manager. He's not reached out whatsoever. In any way, shape or form, besides this email and the event was cancelled and now our business is suffering because of it. I see. I'm really sorry to hear about that. If I hear anything else, I'll give you a call back. I just, we weren't sure what to make of it

because it was a very bizarre email and phone calls and stuff. So wait, when we get the straight, he emailed the mayor's office and said that, let me get this straight. Or affecting his livelihood. Yeah, but the mayor, I guess the mayor knows him. The mayor doesn't even like him. Oh, really? Yeah, they're old golfing buddies or something. the mayor knows him the mayor doesn't even like him

yeah they're old golfing buddies or something yeah I don't like him you want to meet a call up George and tell him he doesn't like him but that just seemed unprofessional to me yeah we had to cancel the event not important to the email. Not just because of Maddox and not just because of these other things, but it's just all the... I don't know how you put it.

We've gotten so many phone calls to this business about this tick show. And we've got so many, you know, we got a lot of hate mail off both sides. You know understand what I'm saying? Right, yeah. Both sides. know we got a lot of hate mail off both sides you know understand what I'm right yeah both sides like often mad ex this side and off the dick show side and it was just so much hate mail coming through and so much helps being done and so many phone calls happened and it's you know I really don't care what the situation is with him in his personal life I had to cancel the event because I just trash our business and I love I was supposed to be for like another month

So I canceled it is the same guy that uses homophobic slurs when he's on the phone with city With city employees who've been told by the mayor specifically This shit This is what's crazy on people are well. This is what's crazy. That's crazy. Well, this is what's crazy, unless you know the history, it takes so long to explain how deranged George really is. I mean, he's, you know, again, he's sick, he's fucking sick.

He has a fucking disorder. He's not right. He's not right. No, it's he's just fucked up, man. He's just fucked up and it's it's crazy. You're good. You're good laugh for Ashland. Okay, go. Because people will people go this can't all be true. Like these guys must have done something. They had big digs. They must have done something and it's like hate group man what I why the fuck would I be associated with a hate group jeez is right because you're hateful okay here you go yeah okay well thanks for all the information um we'll definitely get back to you I'm sorry I

completely forgot your name what was that again my name is all numbers I can reach you at yeah we got a phone number what number do they it's it's area I'm not going to be a person. My name is. I can reach you. Yeah, we got a phone number. What number do they, uh, it's, it's area code. Uh, uh, I don't think I can play that. Moving forward. It's one, one word Steve and Dave put together.

I don't have a last name. What? The mayor's office. are you? Steve, do you? Why would you say that? You don't work for the city of LA. You'd have a last night. Well, no, I've had it legally changed to Steve David. And I was so odd, but that's my name. So.

Okay, so. Uh-oh. What's the number that you just called me from right now? Oh, that's Steve David. That's Steve David's name. Oh, that's just the, the comptroller's direct line. I like how the guy wasn't so special, sat on and then all of a sudden, highly, for the city.

Yeah, your name's, my name's Steve Dave. Oh, Dave, you last name now, that's my entire name. Yes, it is finlegally changed I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'll be right back. We'll do voice me as funny as that is. It's also fucking depressing Why which part the whole the whole thing that that that that that fucking psycho Can go disrupt shit like that. I know a bunch bunch of, from a podcast that has fucking people of all races, trans people, especially black people, fucking whatever.

And Jews who come, everybody comes out and has a fucking blast because they have one thing in common and it's they all like to laugh and laugh at stupid bullshit. And it's so fucking dumb. All right, I'll be right back. What the hell was that? What do you mean? You busting in the bathroom while I'm taking a piss.

I didn't know you were in it. The lights were off and... You're gonna hear the piss? You couldn't hear the piss going in the bathroom? No, no, no. You go in there. 80s girl was like, yeah, you want to use the master?

I was like, yeah, sure. I didn't hear a piss. You can hear all the piss going, where did you use the master? I was like yeah sure. I didn't hear all the piss gone Where did you think I went? I thought you were upstairs. Why would I go upstairs in my own house? I thought you were getting a coke or something. I don't know. I said I like her off door was slightly a jar Ashlyn I said did I what did you think I was doing when I got up from this table you went to take a piss? You thought I was going to the bathroom, right? Yes. Yeah. Okay.

And then you decided to just go into the bathroom after me. No, I was told. Like a puppy. I was told to. You were doing too right? Like, hey, do you want to use the master? Yeah, but you know I'm in there. No, I didn't know you were in there.

This door was shut too. The one in the hole. Why would I use a subs? Why would I use one of the ancillary bathrooms in my own house? I've used the good bathroom. I love how you're making this like, like I'm the idiot. Because you, there was a ton, I was pissing directly into the waters

so that anyone would hear I was doing it. You probably need to get your prostate checked because it was like a trickle. I didn't even hear anything. It was. I didn't even hear anything when you opened the door. That's it was a very womanly stream of piss. That's such bullshit. It was just wanted to look at my dick. It was and I I was standing in such a way that it was on full display. Oh no, it wasn't. I didn't see shit. I had my hands spread out like I'm playing it like

I'm playing a seventh like I'm playing a she was living out some kind of sick fantasy or something obviously it's a woman. Yeah, I was playing a 13th cord with my pissing hand. I was my fingers were spread out so far to prop my dick up. Is that right? Yes. Wow. How's that for a guitar joke for you? Yeah, yeah, no, because the one hand would obscure it. I only wanted it on display. Got you walked in there And you and okay, here's why I know you were trying to look at my dick because when you walked in When you walked in you weren't undoing your pants and no man has ever walked into the bathroom without being undoing his pants at the same time Jesus back Back Jesus Christ walked in there with your hands and like totally out So I could yeah, so you could look better because you forgot to do the because you knew you weren't gonna pee because you were just in there Looking at my dick and you weren't gonna take your pants off. That's what I wanted forgot to do the right

I would if I would have pulled it off Except for that except for that except for my yes, right dream mind takes you're a urine my dream mind takes you're a urine you're not caught autistic genius. Fucking F slur as buzz buzz buzz bees would say Jesus Christ. I can't believe that guy said that. I would listen to that whole thing again. To the controller. That's fucking wild. That's insane.

Now there's like, I mean, King Richard, King Richard, the prank caller did that. King Richard. Yeah. You got well, he I assume everything he did is on the up and up. I don't know. Well, he gets in trouble for shit did that. King Richard. Yeah, you got, well, he, I assume everything, he did is on the up and up. I don't know. Well, he gets in trouble for shit like that, doesn't he? I mean, Jesus.

King Richard, this is a different guy. King Richard did that. Oh. Who are you talking about? Oh, yeah. King Richard, another interview. We have so many, we have so many prank callers on this show that we've so many enemies.

I keep them straight. Jesus Christ. All right. I didn't get to any advice. Do you want to do, do you want to do phone calls or advice? Actually, you're doing even voicemails or phone calls. Okay, everybody, this has been the Dixia. Patreon or Comps and I said Dixia.

If you didn't get tickets for a road rage LA too, you fucked up, it sold out now everything's sold out. I Maybe I'll sell out so maybe I'll sell some more like standing room only you could stand in the garbage or something outside and listen to it I'll see you next Tuesday. This is Squeeze this is suburban life with squeeze we the best well, Best. Well, let's see how this goes. Squeez. Next to his story. It's a dick show, it's a sick bro We be gushlin' while takin' you the dite Cope to ship slow Tiptoe, tiptoe

Ask your girl about a shoe Sneak in the conversation So what's your dad do? He's an asshole, he can't stand Oh true, this place makes me rage Heart rate is up Crossword is manly We don't give a fuck, we don't give a fuck

Better than women, clearly Because I can not find a black pen Your gasmin' just caused the heart attack My wack friend No please, I don't wanna go to a wedding I get to be upsetting, fuck I keep forgetting Yeah, I'm an art, it does just keep a go, I don't know I guess I'll save it, toss it in the pile, watch it grow, watch it grow Yo, you can't stop us, not even hot goss, could compare to who dared to be something

I think the rage on me is broke, cause it stops at 100 I'd be sitting while I'm fishing cause the misses think I'm drinking I only alone time to get away from all her bitch and hate dick and chan I'm sick of all the pricks like Maddox I'm just glad you took the chance to dig down his ex Dig down his ex Catchin' a picture of your ex Cashin' those chicks

Be the best, be the best, be the best Be the best, be the best, be the best I'm gonna be the best, I'm gonna be the best I'm gonna be the best, I'm gonna be the best I'm gonna be the best, I'm gonna be the best I'm gonna be the best, I'm gonna be the best Cash in those juts And that's cool I almost feel like Larry listening to that. It's so cool And you can fucking suck a bag of this I didn didn't know you would say I love it Larry. It was just a... Oh, what?

What? Was that it? That was it. What do you think about that? The first guy who came to mind who's a friend of the show. Who's older? Who's cool. Who you love and is cool.

Has anyone ever told you that you look like an extremely hot Elizabeth Warren? Um, who's the one with white? Good. Yeah. Good. She's a supermodel. Oh, I'll take it. I got in like right to my gattons and I was younger. I was super blonde.

Yeah. And then when I was a redhead, I mean, it was like freaking what's her name? Emma Stone, like left and right. Like I kid you not at least like a hundred times a day. It was scary. You talked to a lot of people. I just want to see you reenacting Elizabeth Warren. There's a lot of people.

Ah, I was out of church. I was out of church. Yeah, I don't like people just kind of church. What kind of church? Right. Uh, Christian. Christian. One of the offshoots. Yeah, what were you thinking? Satan? You know, I'm serving nothing like that. Did you move it, John? I did. Are you still of the Christian people people? I don't believe in religion. I think it's a relationship. Well, it exists. So that's I've got bad news for you. It's like if you want to know someone you got to talk to them to know them, you can talk to everyone else about them. You might hear bits and pieces, but it's likely not true,

and it's not as personable until you really seek it yourself. Yeah, we know that one. So I think about God. Yeah, I think it's like a fire you have to tend to and build yourself and you can look to everywhere else for the answer that I could join. Oh, Charlie, you do what called? You can catch that, I'm beginning.

You're already in. You're already in, you don't even the beginning? You're already in. You're already in. You don't even know it. You've been sued. I've been groomed. Sean, I've been groomed before your very eyes. Next thing you know, visiting the local animal shelters. Looking for a wife.

I think that bonus episode was great. Really messed up my brains. Yeah, I'll bet. Okay, here we go. David Dixiel, my rage is people trying to out-murality each other. I come across this article online where this hero crossing guard notices the car is coming and tells two kids to stay back and they stay back and the car doesn't notice and time and hits them.

The guy was 88 years old, so he was already on the door that was. So the fact that he even made it to the hospital after getting hit by a big SUV with a miracle. Now I was like, okay. Man, that story sucks. I rolled through stop signs and school zones before. It was like 8 a.m. I think it was. And that just kind of feel like shit. Even rolling was and that's just got to feel like shit. Even rolling through stop signs, you got to feel like shit.

So like, damn, I hope she got off with like just not more than like six months in prison than a year without her license because she probably feel like shit. It wasn't a hit or run or anything. She stayed by. But I checked the comments on that post, right? Boy. You say bye, but I checked the comments on that post right and Share over the chair. Oh, yeah, oh, they're in the space great hero. Oh, he had no to experience I

These kids he saved them give her 40 years give her the light spin. I want you I saw one comment where they're like oh, they should fucking draw Drag her out in our front lawn and give her death by a thousand times. My cheese is Christ. Yes, wild. You people never rolled through a fucking stop sign of school done before. I don't fucking believe you're old enough to drive if you haven't done that before. Good. God, she made a simple mistake and the only difference was this time there was someone

in the way. Yeah, right. Feel fucking terrible for the guy, but I feel pretty bad for the chick, too. She probably feels like she, because she killed somebody. My cousin did the same thing, but it was a drunk dude in the middle of the street. He felt like sh**ty managed to get off without jail time. So I pretty, I have a bit of experience knowing how terrible these fucking experiences are for everyone.

Yeah, they don't go hard. Go away with that. Just because she did something like that. Just fucking insane how up and arms people get over miter shit just because there's a tag hero on the fucking totally our veteran. Go fuck yourself. He was a veteran of the meme wars.

Yeah. Okay. That's rough. Rough deal. People love. People love destroying people love destroying people, whether some, whether information that they use to do that is accurate or not.

Cause business and the reputation business is booming in that reputation destruction business. I don't see anything in the rebuilding business. No, like you know, like you know, like that. Oh yeah, yeah. You know, Richard, there's a moot, Richard Jewel, right? Yeah., oh yeah, you know, Richard fucking there's a mood Richard jewel, right? Yeah, what's the what's the fucking first thing you say Richard jewel? So wasn't he the Olympic Park bomber? It's like no, he was no he didn't do anything. He caught it. He caught it

Do you know the name? Do you know the name of the of the actual bomber Hitler? No, they caught him It was it caught him Without a doubt he's the guy. No, see nobody knows, right? No, Eric. I'm a bin Laden. Eric Rudolph. Ever heard that name?

Rudolph, the red nose reindeer. Eric Rudolph. Eric Rudolph. Nobody knows his name. A white guy did that? Everybody knows. Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

Yeah, they caught him in the fucking mountains. He had done it a couple of other times too. He had planted bombs or a couple had gone off, I think, but really, it was like, yes, everybody knows Richard Jewel. That guy's fucking, that guy's life has never been the same. Eric Rudolph, who's that? Who's that? Yep, who's that?

Yeah, it's a lot of people that are, a lot of people are driving and posting that comment at the same time. Give that bitch the chair for fucking texting while she's, I WOAHH SHIT! I know, right? We can't, we can't be in charge of these cars. I mean, it's too much.

It's ripped, it's ripped our society apart. These cars and the traffic. We can't get the phones. Not the phones. No, we need the phones. There's other people on that phones. The cars that we can't handle, we can't handle, we gotta get rid of them fast.

Here's Zuz. Oh, you're out of here, okay. Thank you so much, having you. Thank you for being here. A dick. A dick. That's sure. My name really is Sean.

Thanks for coming. Ashton, thank you guys so much. You guys are welcome. Thank you, Ashton. You have a good sense of humor. Yes, of humor if you stuck it out this long. Okay, back to the boys. Hey, deck. I was going to put this fucking, one of these podcast calls for a ship. Why is it that these folks just found like exactly what you were seeing.

They were found like when you describe something as fucking terrible as what they're into, like they have the same nasally asked voice that just makes you seem think like if you heard the speaking public like, yeah I bet that fuckers into stupid bullshit like that. And I don't know man, it's just fucking crazy to me. They always found like the whiz mother fuckers who probably got looked at funny in school probably complained about bullying and I don't know. I started to think that bullying maybe had a point. Now I don't want

to grow up. You know, I saw like a normal ass human being and I go here oh you know, don't get to be. Yeah, like I don't want to I don't want to spoil know, don't need to be, yeah, yeah, like I don't want to, I don't want to spoil the show for other people who can listen to it. You can spoil it. You can spoil it. I don't know man.

Every fucking weird individual community always has representatives who sound like exactly who you can't be would be and exactly what they would be into. If it's, if Zoufiliah had a voice that would sound like the fucker who hosted that fight. No shit. I really need to listen to iter who holds for that. Yeah. No shit. I really need to listen to it. That's great. It's compelling as shit.

Yeah. Oh no, I need, yeah. It's like a weird, here's my, I'm drunk and I'm, oh, I'm about three beers in. So here's my big brain take on bestiality, right? Right? Cause I get that the meat industrial farming is like horrific and cruel and whatever, but it's for hunger.

Hunger is we let you do anything that you want if you're hungry pretty much. If you're hungry, like God has feed his family, you can steal whatever. You steal Russian famines. I mean cannibal is it you do what you got to live. We'll let you eat. We will let you eat another human being because of hunger. That's how, the first thing you are in this world is an asshole connected to your mouth. That's right. And then a lot of people don't evolve beyond that.

Everything that you are around that is who you are, but at first you are a digestist. That's true. What forms first, the mouth of the asshole, right? I think like some like cephalopods or whatever, like the mouth forms first, humans, the asshole forms first. And we'll let anything go, but then you start stacking on the needs on top of that, like lust and desire

and greed and gluttony and all the things, like those things, those are all sins. Hunger is not a part of those. Right. It's all the other ones. And that's when it's like, yeah, well, we all have those desires, which you just can't do them. Yeah, because it hurts other things.

Like the hunger hurts other things. Yes, but it's below those. That's why. It's because we all got together and said, we'll allow that. We need to eat. We need to eat. We need to eat. We need it.

But you can't fuck whatever you want to fuck. And they didn't get that memo. They keep trying to equate the two. Like yeah, by doing that, by doing this, by trying to make hunger and less the same, you're fucking everything up. That's my take on it anyway. I'll go with that. I'll go with that. You buy that one.

It's just you have you get stuck into the trap of having to argue with people who have a a dick who have this entire lore of why they need to be able to fuck dogs without being fucked up. It's like we'll just be fucked up and do it. No, we're not fucked up. Well, you are fucked up. Just say it. No. I just didn't get why it was all about the dicks of the dogs. Why weren't they fucking go dogs? They are. They're doing that too. Really? Yeah. Horses. Horses put these big for them. Fuck. Thank God, Ashley left them. Jesus. This is taking a real left turn. I think the show started left. It did. No, it's actually good. How's that been a fun? Okay. She. Oh, yeah. Wow. All right. What does that mean? What are you guys talking about? Okay. Here you go. Vaughn nice to have

you back. Thanks for the beer. Now, all right. Man, that guy's rage and your rage about the old box and the people just not sending you the fucking bill really fucking got to me that water company my water and i found fucking do that let's go

let's go they can't with the fuck is that and a two dot and a fucking two three month bill in the same get in fucking day my fucking water off i bill in the same day fucking day I shut my fucking water off. I'm in the middle of fucking shower all of a sudden my water's just not fucking all time So obviously freaked out and I go to find out

My water bill has a good pay now I find this very great because I Money and I pay my bills because I want water in my house like a fucking weird like that because it's an essential for life so I figure what could it possibly happen? You know I'm like I want to possibly go on. I don't say it I open my mail box. That's an in there. I go over to City Hall and I'm like, hey guys, uh, what is that? You know, what's happening?

Well, I was healthy. What happened? These back Stupid up. That's great. Can I eat chips on air? That's awesome. Holders and fucking 70 80 years old to think that this just okay. They just reach behind them and they go, oh yeah, oh yeah, no, we don't know where you are. Yeah, no, you're here, he's gone. And he just hand me my big cock sitting alone in a desk behind them. Did they do about it?

When I asked them about it. And so I wonder, well obviously you're way to the right, right? Because you just didn't fucking sense them. And I, you know, I've got some groups. So no, they say, oh, we're supposed to fall fascinating. Mandamin, because we got rerouted. Some other different buttons. Oh, I want to do my two killers.

I checked, of course, it's not the post office. It's false. It's your fault. You stupid fat bitch that you didn't send me my fucking bill. And then you jumped my fucking shower off in the middle and be trying to get clean for work. So I was sitting there and covered in soap like some kind of a fucking asshole.

It's just wondering, you're going to to be stealing all my false act all the rest of the fucking day. So what did I do? I paid them hose and pennies the next day. I got the video I'll send it to you in the box. Good for you. All right, send them. Fuck these people. Fuck you.

You tell me about the money I'm supposed to pay you. You stupid bitch. This is the point. You tell me. That's the point. I'm not going to just hand it over to you. That's how I have money. You fucking moron.

Yeah. Yeah. The only way you can get any satisfaction is to just inconvenience. Piss on women when they're sleeping. Inconvenience someone who has only watched this whole night. That's the secret to life. Piss on women when they're sleeping. Try to trick them into sleeping in a bathtub so you don't have to clean it up and you just piss right on their face when they're sleeping. Try to trick them into sleeping in a bathtub, so you don't have to clean it up

and you just piss right on their face when they're sleeping. Well, that's a secret of life, man. Like that guy with scratching his toes and die hard. You can just count off and you scratch your toes. If I wrote that movie, I would say, John McLean, the secret of relaxing after a long fight is you just piss on a woman while she's asleep. Huh?

Relaxes you, man. You'd be flying for you. Rooming him. Here's Andrew from Eugene, Oregon. So what makes me a rage is I've been doing the whole full blast to everything on YouTube. And you know, everybody says that they can handle like the hatred when you did that many views. It's next year raised because I don't get it. I don't understand it.

I know, I know, I know people are fucking with me. But God, oh God, fuck a devil. It doesn't, it never stops. You know what I love is like when people think they're helping you and other titles on i just know you know the times wrong and that thanks appreciated

what i don't get is i think people are fucking with me but i think i guys who were like, well, never mind, you're like, go fuck yourself. Why am I even leaving Boyce now? I love it. Apparently not, because I still leave it. I just don't know who else is talking to, Jack. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

So he just goes, I have to get you what I'm doing. So what you're doing? Oh, whatever, man. Why am I reading YouTube comments to fucking begin with? He's losing it. My favorite one. I thought he was going to start answering. Someone would wake up.

I've been looking for a way better channel than this. Thanks. If someone posted like, you know, like this, a little bit channel. I've been looking for a way better channel than this. Okay. Good for you. A way better tell them is okay yeah good good for you away better tell all my god i don't uh... is losing it

cracken i love it when i was a time that i don't know i don't know i don't know anything and i just some i'm just some low-ox you alcoholism it's like that here like it takes to like the strange shit uh-huh and people get so fucking mad i think it's because yeah what like look there are people who do good work like i think eight knee-dug good work i think uh-huh it's like tom hex talking to a beat and joe voli ball i do absolutely fuck it out of the

fair uh-huh not you're probably right now uh-huh total trash and it it started from a tension not really actually not at all if you look at the analytics but we're talking like you know the usual fake now he's got some momentum

but that's not what they think he's found it on the path yeah some of these views i think people get stuck in that and i think he's done it is an envy thing like i, I don't understand why like, what do you want? You want to make $200 on YouTube and a month? Do you? Don't for it. I don't fucking know. Makes you want to buy something. You know, it's great. In fact, it's not enough to do it. Nothing because it means you get no joy out of it. All right. There you go.

Is he really called in again? He's not done, is he? No, he's not. People are just so fucking entitled. Ha! They want you to work to entertain them for free. And if you cut yourself a check. No, see, I upset.

I upset the way around. God damn fucking mind. And I... check now see how upset opposite of the way around god damn fucking mind and i it's in the end because that's the only thing my brain goes to is what was in the crack it yeah crack it i don't i don't know man but uh... same day i'm right after each other really at how fucking mad people for if we pretend to get sack up and mad people for at least for time to get. Sack up! Ah.

Stop being such a pussy, Andrew, VG Nordic. And drink a beer and have a good time. You're never gonna get that other people never get that. Yucumar, drinking beers, complaining about people. Yucumar, Yucumar, Yucumar. You fucking Cumar. What's up? Somebody who watches pornography and comes.

Mandy. Cumar, okay. The anti-porn crew is just the dumbest people ever. They've got to have so much, they've got to be angry. They're so angry. I could do it, just, Sean, you don't understand. There's young women getting human traffic and that's why pornography's bad.

Cause a couple women have gotten human traffic. Oh man. Oh, how's that different than, you know, pretty much anything like guns, liquor, whatever. Well, this is our thing. That's what's different about it. Oh, okay, I see. Yeah, pornography, fucking horrible.

ID, everybody. All right, ready? This is me, the Dixia. See you next Tuesday. See ya. ID everybody. All right, right, this is Minda Dixia, see you next Tuesday. See ya.