The Dick Show - Episode 198 - Dick on The Broken Meth Pipe Fallacy

Episode Date: March 17, 2020

Ice T likes my Tweet, a fat woman tries to buy water, I break a meth pipe, 80s Girl dyes her hair, Ethan Ralph calls in after using the "gamer word" on The Drunken Peasants, drug lingo, Null gets banned from the US, why Boomers don't deserve quarter, Nick Rekieta is coming to Road Rage: Los Angeles, Doug TenNapel talks about homosexuals getting into heaven, Martina Markota accuses an artist of stealing money and does not call in to defend it, an Appalachian State University professor loses her mind, Dr. Nurse also loses her mind, and my thoughts on Brittany Venti; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

is the the the the Come and dick, you want dick and dick and you love it, you got it? It's the show where Evan's a contest, come to your life from Mount Bunken deep in the heart of the city of failure. I'm your host, Nick Mashnik, a $20 million man. America is worse, Maxx, you can 48 weeks running. Joining me is always as world touring LA-based comedian Sean the audio engineer.

Hello, dick. Hey, what's up, buddy? I made a promise to a little girl. There would be no cold opens this week. Really? I would not talk over the theme song. That was her review. She reviews every intro. That was her review. She reviews

every, every intro and that was her criticism is no cold open. Don't talk over the theme song. That's what she wants me to know. Okay, no cold open this week. I mean, I promise. All right. We're a little girl that there would be no cold open. You know, I just started doing that randomly because it's funny. I thought it was, I always thought it was funny where you just come into the middle of a conversation because I always love that joke so much where, and that's when he realized that his dick was indeed in the mashed potatoes back to you, Jim. You know, like it's that kind of Simpson's joke where they just, I always think those are funny. I love it. Look what I've got. Prank that presence for you right

now. Sean, here, this is a coronavirus picture. picture. Thank you. Thank you. I have to hear. You touched it though. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Here. I have two. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I need a cough on mine. I have two mouthguards. I'm using two of them to hand you one completely sanitary one. Sean. Oh, thank you. Completely. Yes. Yes. Yes. I brought these back from Japan. 80s girls brought these back from Japan. Really? There is a, I think there is a 100% chance that we had the coronavirus in Japan. Really? We both had a dry cough that lasted for like two weeks

and it felt unlike anything other. There was something like that. You may have felt like the, whatever I had was gonna crash the economy. At the time, I said it. Well, the symptoms are all over the map. That's what I mean. Some people, it hits really, really hard.

Some people, it's like, yeah, it's just a cold symptoms or something. It's really, it's kind of sketchy. Symptom number one, your asshole eats toilet paper. Did you know that? What is, like, like, little shop of horse. What's wrong with these fucking people? Your asshole. Some people actually just need toilet paper. They expect to go to the store in a first world country Did you know that? What is like, like, little shop of horse? The fuck is wrong with these fucking people.

You're assholes. Some people actually just need toilet paper. They expect to go to the store in a first world country and just, you know, buy like an- $75 for toilet paper on Amazon! Like an eight pack of sharmen or something, you know, and like, and for these mother fuckers, have you seen some of these pictures in Costco? Stacks of toilet paper! The fuck is wrong with you?

72 toilet paper things high for one fat fuck that'll- One roll will last you a week. How much shitting are you planning on doing? Roll your shitty ass into the shower if it's that bad. What the fuck is wrong with you? Just go- Go into the bathroom at a McDonald's, pry the thing open, and take one of those, uh, stone-hinged, babeled Babylonian currency wheels of toilet paper

that they have in McDonald's wheel at home with you, you're set. You're set for a month. If you are honestly concerned about toilet paper, you are a fucking idiot. I walked, I was at a CVS. Yeah, yesterday. Fat woman walks into the CVS, yeah. Joining us is Maz. Hello.

How you doing, Maz? Good, man. You're right right off on it. I've been going all to the grocery stores too, just to check it out. Because it's fun. It is fun, it's crazy. I had to go and pick some just regular stuff up and I got in the express lane and I shoot you not.

I start coughing and I'm like, oh yeah. I gotta just, let me just get through and people got the fuck out of my way. Oh you did it on purpose Yeah, yeah, gotcha in the express the self check out very good. There's a line a mile long that backs up onto the freeway At the Mexican store down the street from me. Yeah to buy. I don't know what because the shelves have been emptied Fat woman walks into the CVS yesterday And she says to the she says to the cashier, do you guys sell any of those five gallon water bottles?

As her clue and hoof stepped on my foot. Club and hooves, I was stealing with the moron in charge of my, I was at the CVS. I went to the UPS store first. Yeah. This is the story of I broke a meth pipe and that was not the worst thing that happened to me that day. Oh, well.

I was at the CVS after I had gone to the UPS store to pick up some packages and some mail. I'm standing at the cashier and this woman walks in, fat woman walks in and says, do you guys sell the big, big water bottles that I can fill up at the water store next door? You know one of those water stores that exists for, it's like daycare for boomers.

I don't know who goes and fills up water besides my dad. I don't know who takes their own water receptacle to a store and fills it up with water. It's everywhere now. Water? Yeah, people are doing that everywhere. They're carrying big bottles, big jugs. Like these, I tell you about these,

like these designer fucking water. Who goes to the store to do it? It's like an oxygen bar. There's water everywhere. I know. It comes out of the fucking faucet. Who is going to a specialized store? I know.

And buying their Starbucks water into the Dysoni water and they have a- The city of LA had to come out and go, the water is unaffected. There's nothing wrong with the water. You should not be hesitant to drink it. It's fine. It is not a thing.

So Fat Woman comes in and says, yeah, sell any big water bottles. It is pissing down rain. It is, water is pouring out of the sky. The atmosphere has more water in it than air. And this fat woman who is about the size of a minivan reverses into the store and says, do you have any five gallon water things

that I can fill up at the store next store, at the water store? Have you ever seen one of the, first of all, no one has ever seen one of these at CVS? This is an item. This woman has, this woman just walked into the water store. A five gallon jug. Like a big air cap.

The water store. You think, maybe they're sold out. There's a rush on water jug. So she's looking on like aisle six where there should be like a five gallon water cooler jug that's empty that she can go next door and fill up with water because in her mind, she's going to the fucking, she's got to go to like the Burbank equestrian center and you go to the tax store and get a tub of water for someone who's a trough, a water trough for a tub, you know, that you throw.

I said, well, why don't we go to Home Depot? I'll buy some two by eights and I can construct you a trough. They look at it in this woman's mind. In this woman's saturated, that saturated mind, there is a scenario in which the water that comes to your house stops working. I know. And that five gallons of saved water

that she's been hoarding in her closet like golem will last her until whatever apocalypse has happened that shut the water down has been resolved. Yeah, the water Because of a virus Yeah, I know I know The cashier says no looks at me as if she's the fat woman's crazy Yeah, and then looks at me and says I bought half and half. That was my big purchase there. Yeah half and half I play it. You know what you're too good for this store. You know why I should be working for me and she looks at me Yeah, after ringing up my half and half looks at my male and says did you get that here too?

I said You got to be fucking my male. Mm-hmm That's what the fat woman says to you. No, that's what the cashier says, dude, oh, did she, she's ringing, oh, I thought the cashier said to you, oh, I bought half a half that was my big, but like you two were making fun of her. No, that was what you did.

Did you get that here too? Yeah, my male. Yeah. Yeah, do you guys, yeah, go ahead, try, you know what? Yes, I did. Ring it up, yeah. Here, you see a lot of, you see a lot of, you see a lot of use, you see a lot of singular male purchases coming through here with a stamp saw canceled out and other addresses.

What in the fuck is going on? How did, how did a couple of media reports reveal how fucking dumb everyone is? I have a theory. Yeah, okay. I have a theory. My theory is that there was something going on globally with the oil stuff and then oil was gonna tank anyways.

Right. And once this virus thing came, no, no, but that part's true. Listen, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And once the virus came, it made that situation even more hectic. So what the media did was create hype to get all the normals out there, just spending as much money as they could.

On toilet paper. On whatever, but toilet paper has the biggest, like profit margin, cause it does. It's recyclable. Well, I know, and there's some things with huge profit margins. Yeah, I don't know about that.

The biggest profit margin. Like iPhones. Pretty big profit margin. Yeah, I don't know about that. The biggest profit margin. Like iPhones. Pretty big profit margin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Toilet paper costs them what, like, seven cents to make and you know, you have to pay an ass pay for a horse. Yeah, I'm gonna launch, right?

I'm talking about the margin. Yeah, margin. Right, right, right. Although I'm setting me to, people buying an iPhone's worth of toilet paper right now, anyways. So, 74 bucks on Amazon. Anyways, my theory is that Randy

bring me some toilet paper from work. The good guy's coming over from apparently there's they're they've got like three ply charm in it. They're wiping their ass with what's the entertainment industry, right? I mean, that's yeah, yeah, it's all about appearances. So that's, you know, they've got the they've got the, you know, $20,000 espresso machine. I'm sure the three fly that was, these people got meamed, like, siopped into stimulating the economy.

A toilet paper. A broken toilet paper. Because people are going in there, buying shit, like they're hoarding, you know, I think that has like a tiny little effect, you know. I think people are gonna get sick of pretending like it's the apocalypse, right? Like next week when it becomes doing chores. Yeah, I saw the look on that fat woman's face because we're not snowed in This is gonna go on for a while the look on that fat woman's face back to life

I'm like I know just from the size of you I know that you're that I know that you are easily Disweighted so I know that you didn't go to another store and find that five gallon bucket that you are easily dissuaded. So I know that you didn't go to another store and find that five gallon bucket that you were lusting after to fill up with water to take home and then just stare at. A whole, a hotel in case the value of water goes up one seven.

What happens next week when they restock and everyone's got six months of toilet paper and there's just toilet paper and hand sanitizers everywhere. It's going to be global, global commerce remorse. Like you're staring at all those tabs on your, on your incognito browser going, what have I done with myself? Two hours late for work.

My dick feels like a piece of raw meat. What have I done with my, I got to get rid of this toilet paper. We're just going to have people dumping toilet paper to get rid of their shame. Yeah, like right next to the couches, and you know, you put the couch on the curb. Meanwhile, me and I's T. Look at this, Sean. You and I's T? Me and I's T.

Yeah, you guys, we're OGs. Two peas in a pod. Yeah, that's right, we don't cancel shit. This is good. You guys are like this, right? Yeah. Is Iced T saying, did someone ask you, dumb, Iced T didn't cancel the show, because of coronavirus?

Because there's people, oh look at that, there are people that are tripping over themselves to try to shut the entire world down. Like really crawling up their own ass. That's not iced tea's actual account. That's iced tea's actual account. Find a level.

In Jot. Yeah, yeah. Wow. See that little blue account. Final level. In Jot. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. See that little blue check mark? That is very far from what you're thinking. What a fucking asshole. Goddamn right.

Me and iced T don't cancel shit. Fuck the coronavirus tickets.dick.show. That's what I said. Boom, look at that iced T liked. Do you know what that means? Yeah. He was sitting there on his phone at home, looking at Coco's ass or whatever he's doing, and he saw my sentiment and he felt

that what I was thinking about just like that. Why is this comment like that? What do you mean? Did someone ask you dumb fuck, that was to somebody else's comment that donated it? Someone was criticizing him for not canceling his shit. Cause it looks like, and he said, did someone ask you dumb fuck,

and then I said, God damn right, me and I said, he don't get shit. dumb fuck? And then I said, God damn right, me and I, he don't get shit. God it. And then he was sitting there in his, whatever he was doing, like with his hot wife, who's the female embodies physical perfection for a female, Coco.

Yeah, that's his work. He was distracted from that by my sentiment that I tweeted, and then he looked at it and said, that's exactly. And pressed that like button. It was like this. And he went, mm-hmm.

Like a fucking virtual affirmative nod from iced tea. Pretty good. Straight out of Compton, where is he from? Is he's not out of Compton, is he? Is he iced tea? Well, Cubes, but Cubes, yeah. No iced tea out of Compton, is he? I see. Oh, Cubes, but Cubes, yeah. No, Iced tea. What is he?

I don't know where he came from. I don't know where he came from. All I know is he played a mutant kangaroo and tank girl. Oh, did he? All I know is from. All I know is Iced Cubes and actor is a joke and Iced tea is probably the greatest rapper actor in the world.

And who will ever be? Will ever be. And there's no liked my tweet. It's like when the, yeah, they just, there's him and then there's everyone else. That's all I have to say about that. Just retire the term actor. Yeah, because of iced tea.

Yeah, yeah, because he changed the game. That's right. So there you go. I've been writing high off of that for speaking of speaking of road rage. It's still on, but I guess all the flights are canceled from. Well, that's kind of the yeah. Yeah. So if you had your flight canceled for if you're not allowed into the US because of Trump,

then let me know. I'll give you a refund. But everybody else is still it is. I I think it's gonna be the only show. Yeah. It's gonna be the only show in the world happening. There's gonna be, there's so many people, because we're so late on testing and everything. There's so many more cases out there than there is.

Late on testing. Oh yeah, well, I mean, or just, we're not testing anything. They already think there's five figures of people walking around at this point I haven't listened I've been listening to the, you know, the Johns Hopkins people and all these different people talking about like it's like look It's gonna just gonna keep doubling every four or five days. Everybody's gonna. It's probably gonna affect up to 50% of the country Yeah, probably 50% of the country will get it So I don't understand why I don't understand why. I don't understand why I cancel anything.

I go, we're trying to flatten the curve. We're trying to flatten the curve. Like, you guys never do shit that I want to do. Fuck you. You guys have made it so that like any slight fuck up verbally, fucks up entire lives and careers, fuck your curve. I'm gonna go and I'm licking Dornav's drinkin, saying the N word because no one is around to hear it

I love if someone says the N word during a global pandemic do they still get canceled? Well, this is fucking you reverse priority motherfuckers. So still make a noise. Still make a sound Yeah, so funny your default position really is contrarian. Oh Always we gotta work together. We got it. We now. It's all the sudden. Everything is we. I say that. Yeah. I say that because. Other beers, sweetie, please. You were I was the one going, oh, this ain't shit. This ain't shit. This ain't. Fuck it. I don't believe it. You know, SARS, swineflut, that kind of stuff. And you're going like, yeah, but we have this and we have this. Yeah. It's like, yeah. It's bad.

You were right. And now you're like, oh, fuck it. Well, because it's like everybody's such a big baby. Like, it's not one or the other. It's bad, it's gonna kill a lot of people. Well, we gotta stop it. No, you can't. Like, but you can, the point is to, because really the only people so far

who seem to be. Boomers. Are boomer remover. Are really fucked with it. Are the boomer remover. Are the older, the boomer remover. Yeah, it's not bad I told my parents you guys are bad you guys better shit fucking I will come over I will go around a bunch of fucking I'll go running around a bunch of people all the biggest gatherings

I can I can find and then I'll come up and I'll sleep at your house for about a week It's all my day. You better get that will in order. Oh, man. Yeah, you better remember you don't want me to do it I'm starting to say I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say,

I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I choose to tell them by the way. That's right. I can put my own. The history is written by the people who are in that will. That's right. So just put that in your mind, dead. The boomer remover. Okay, here's what makes me a rage. Speaking of that methe pipe that I broke. All I wanted to do in my quarantine was do a

lice and do a nice little bit of DMT. That was going to be my quarantine. Okay. Nice. You know, nice kick back. Joe Rogan's always talking about it. I finally figured out Empire. You got her drugs by mail. It's amazing. You can get counterfeit money. You can buy a girlfriend on there. Amazing. It's really crazy. It just arrives by the USPS. Wow. Bam, boom. So it's, and they're rated by stealth. So they'll trick you into thinking it's like a spam, like a junk mail, but it's hidden wrapped in layers. Really?

Every single parcel is like a, is like solving a riddle. That's wild. With a reward, with a incredible reward. Yeah. So exactly what you want. That's wild. With a reward, with an incredible reward. Yeah. So, exactly what you want. Mm-hmm. So I said, well, you know what,

when I do this quarantine, right, just do a little DMT, let's see what it's all about. We don't have to see anybody for a couple of days, a couple of weeks maybe, they're talking about this is gonna be months long. I'll have a good time. So I go, so I go to get a pipe. So I go to get a pipe. So I go to get what we will call an oil pipe.

You've seen it before. Commonly called a meth pipe. You've seen them scattered on the ground, right? So here's rage number one that I've got. And this isn't even the worst thing that happens to be that day. You think breaking a meth pipe would be the worst thing that happened to that day. I go into the store, say, yeah, uh, hi, sir, who's, uh, rearranging his bongs or his pipes at the front of the head shop, whatever he's doing.

Yeah, I'd like a, I'm getting oil pipe because you can't refer to it. I know. Buy anything illegal. Remember when we used to go to head shops and say, you can't say, uh, water pipe, it's a water pipe. Can I get a water pipe for so to back there? You know what we're doing with it. I'm a, I'm a young man. I'm a, I'm a 20. I'm a young 17 year old man. Yeah. What I like to do to have fun and unwind is to just load up a refreshing and pure

a refreshing and pure load of tobacco and a water pipe. Yeah, that I smoke with my pals, like chums, like chums. Right. Usually we smoke out of fucking pipes, like Sherlock Holmes, but today we're gonna treat ourselves and get the water filtration system

of one of these tobacco water pipes that you have. Yeah because Boomers and because the entire world Speaking of we all the we people all the we people that now want to cooperate are the same people that make it so I can't walk into a store and ask for a bomb Yeah, so let's let's rewind before we start congratulating ourselves for saving lives. Let's just remember what the tab is that we're running so far.

How have you guys been doing on the whole war on drugs? Has that been, have I had to embarrass myself recently because of your psychotic fixation on drugs that we're now wanna stop vectors of viral infection. Yeah, that's just pause and explain that one to me. Now that I've got, now that I've got you bent over a virus barrel, why don't we start unwinding some of these laws?

Yeah. Well, I got you listening. Well, I finally have something that you want. Not going out, getting shit faced, coughing all over people. You don't want me to do that? Well, now we're going to start, now we're going to start really unwinding some of this shit anyway. You can't go in and just say, I want a crack pipe.

Give me a fine as fucking crack pipe, you jackass. So this fucker, and this is what makes me a rage about it. Is the drug people and their cute drug vocabulary? Yeah, I'd like to... So immersed in that world. I like an oil pipe. Yeah. And this guy gives me this look. Like, he could not be asked,

asked to do anything that day. He's like fucking boomer. Like, well, man, we got an oil burner pipe. Is that what you're talking about? You know what I'm talking about. Do you want to, oh man. I mean, buddy, how did you not just start breaking stuff? I said, yeah, it's a free base pipe.

That's what I'm talking about. You guys pipe. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I can't help you if you use terms like that. Yeah, I've Jesus like dropping the end bomb. All the sudden we're on the same, all the sudden I've got so much activity out of you. Look at that, I just had to scary a little bit.

You don't like that work? Whoa, this a reputable stab was really. Free base, you know, where does it come from? Isn't it the deprotonated alkaline of a rich or prior special? Handed to her, not me. I'm smoking Richard prior specials out of this pipe. First of all, you jackass.

It's not even a drug word at all. Nicotine comes in a free base. So now he's scrambling, tripping over himself. You made this fucking pipe. Amazing how he totally understood. Suddenly, yeah. Like this is your drug, Lingo man. You're the one that set up this process

where you have to use a pretend language that no one uses to buy bits and pieces of this crap. You have to do a symbol. That's like my, yeah. The whole collection. Do I look like a fucking cop to you? Yeah. These, like, I would say.

That's what a cop would say. Punk rock friends. Yeah. And I was hanging what a cop would say. Like punk rock friends. Yeah. And I was hanging out with them and they're like, we need some VHS head cleaner. We need some VHS head cleaner. And I'm like, what the hell are you talking about? Say the name of the fucking drug.

Well, they're looking for poppers, which I have no idea why they're all into it. I mean, they're not using it for sex stuff. They're literally just at shows, inhaling this shit, but they're like, VHS head cleaner, VHS head cleaner. I'm like, well, you have a lot of tapes. You need to take care of what's going on.

So, let me see where it is Ralph in here. Oh, Nick Rikators in there too. Maybe he can shed some light on my issues with free basing. So, I get that, I go home. I've got my half and half and my, I've got my half and half in my oil burning pipe. Mm-hmm. And I'm so pissed off and I leave the shop.

Hey, so do you want to bag with that? And I'm like, oh, I'm so conditioned to not wanting a bag now. I know. But I'm fumbling around, like I'm so used to being at one of those pictures of an overloaded scooter in China, of a guy, just things hanging like five feet on either side of it.

Yeah, for this, no, for this pipe, absolutely no. So I go inside, my half and half, and my water, and my free base pipe. Open the fridge without even thinking about it, putting it in and just kind of releasing everything that I have, pipe falls immediately shatters. Yeah. Well, now I can't go back into the store

because of my behavior. Yeah. It's too embarrassing. So now I'm out of that, and then I get a text, and this is what makes me rich. Okay. I get a text from the girlfriend who is at the hair salon at that moment, and it says,

Oh, wow. I'm really blonde. I go, oh no. Oh no. Is this just, is this ever happened to you? This is the, this is the worst text you could ever get from a girlfriend or wife is that they've changed their hair. Mm-hmm. Because you are locked in. You are locked in at that moment for the performance of your lifetime. And it had better be a good one. Or it will be the last one.

Mm-hmm. You'd better be ready to love the fuck out of that hair. But not too much so that it's patronizing to her because at least she gave you a heads up because the war, you know what I mean? Because maybe you didn't notice. Oh, there's no not noticing this. Gotcha.

I mean, this die job is so brassy, it's like a fucking band. Stop, it's like the music band just rolled into town. So I, you are interested for the performance of a lifetime and even in it, it always looks horrible. Everybody know every hair, every hair change ever. Like when you shave for the first time, you're like, who is this baby face?

This guy fucks? Absolutely not. You look fatter than hell. That's what every time you fucking shave, right? Like, oh God. This is the only way to shave properly is to just rewind time. Mm.

Like sucking it back in. It's like a grew. Yeah, one day at a time. That's the only way to change. The sudden change of the, you know when the hair changes color, when the girlfriend's hair changes color you both hate it. And they and you don't know why they've done it. They don't know why they've done it. They just decided they decided to do it because a gay man duped them in to fucking up the way they look for his own sick amusement perverse pleasure. Yes, that's what and they've the gay men have

perverse pleasure. Yes, that's what, and the gay men have, have cloistered them, they've quarantined themselves into hair salons where they can inflict this revenge against the Straits. And I mean, both men and women, and it's hilarious, props to them, because if fucking, every, you're good for it once every couple of years. She's good for one. Once every couple of years, I went to the hair salon, I changed my hair. I don't know why I did it. I hate it. And it's way different than I pictured it.

It's way different than I pictured it because I explained it with three words. I explained it in less words than they used to describe the second amendment. Mm-hmm. For some reason. For some reason, they did that too. Mm-hmm.

And so we're stuck with this. So you're gonna spend the rest of your night satisfying my insecurities about my hair. Say, well, I thought the meth pipe was the worst thing that happened to me today, but I was wrong. Now I'm locked in. That's called perspective. Yeah, that's called perspective.

Okay, let me see what we got here. Keto law. Oh, the Ralph retort is here. Let me bring him on. Yeah, I got see what we got here. Keta Law. Oh, the Ralph retort is here. Let me bring him on. Yeah, I got some questions. Ethan Ralph, are you there? Dick fucking master's in hell and going,

so how you feeling? Oh, great, great, it's great day. You made internet history again last night. Oh yeah, you know, I just can't help myself sometimes. It was an interesting evening there on the on the Drunken Peasants. For what I remember. Have you been to sleep?

Yeah, I did finally pass out for like, I don't know, four or five hours, but only after they took down my D-Live channel and stuff like that. So you're banned? Yeah. You're banned again. Well, they told me it was 24 hours. I don't know. So that's my understanding

is that it'll be reinstated. But Ralph, this is a, this is very bad for me because I was expecting to be inducted into the Hall of Fame, only to find that the retort has been aborted. There's the doors padlocked. No, you can't abort the retort. You know that. Now, just had locked. No, you can't abort the retoya, you know that. Now, Bitshoot actually contacted me. So I have access to their live streaming now, but it's still a little rough around the edges, I guess you could say.

Yeah, well, that's interesting. That'll put a fire under DLives ass. So what happened? I saw bits and pieces of this stream, Vito took a clip and posted it on Twitter, but I actually don't think I can play it because you use the gamer word. Gamer word.

Yeah, I had a PewDiePie model. Oh, to the chemistry. Gamer word. The N word is a gamer word. Is it? What, how hard is it not to say the N word? The funny thing is, is I don't really say that word hardly ever.

And it's just dealing with this piece of trash, just brought it out of me, I guess. So what piece of trash is that? That would be vows. That's who I was talking with on the truck and peasants. And I actually think I made him look like a fool for most of the debate, but towards the end, I got a little carried away, I guess you could say. Uh, then he mentioned my ex-wife's name and, um, I think I said something to the effect of, I'll, I'll dox you and your girlfriend and your whole family or something like that. Let me see. Do you mind if I play that part? I think I actually have that part. I'm gonna take that. Okay. Okay Look at her enough. Let me just play that one by

All right, Sean you're ready for those Okay, there's where you said I with you a blingatory. Oh Yeah, here I'm gonna play that here Look at this look at his face though look at vowsha's face would after you say the N word like he looks like he's like celebrating Right watch watch him watch him watch him Come on don't make He looks so happy oh

Yeah, there was some, damn. Yeah. There was some excitement there. Okay. Here's the retaliation for it. So he brought up your ex-wife's name. Yeah. Who is this guy? Who is this guy?

Vouch? Yeah. He's like a desk communist. He got like a feud going on or just debate. Anything. I mean, you know, we talked about him on the show. He's been on the show once, but he's just, I mean, he's just a piece of shit to be quite honest with you.

Literally in the same stream, he's advocating for political violence. They talk to people all the time by the way, like all the fucking time. So for them to perl clutch about what I said is, I mean, it's really ridiculous, but still I shouldn't have said that ago, okay, okay, here you go. Just good policy to not. It's fucking bitch famous because I will, and I will, and I will laugh about it. You threatening to talk to my girlfriend?

No, we wouldn't. Yeah, I would put her name on the world to see and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it Yeah, it's reality. Wow, that was on another level there I I transcended to beyond the mortal plane. Yeah, yeah, we've all been there I saw a picture of the, his girlfriend that you're talking about. Let me bring her up. Can I tell you how glad I am that I stopped drinking well

before any of this got, this got going. I mean, how do you think you'd handle it? Oh, I don't, I would have said something. I would have said, I mean, they're still, oh yeah, you got, you would get out of control. Yeah, that's, I mean't like what I said something. I would have said I mean there's still yeah, you got you would get out of control Yeah, that's I mean angry angry. Yeah, then they wouldn't have been good for anybody

Let me I'm trying to find a picture of vowshaes So he brings his girlfriend on the stream, but But the he's pissed that you a doxxer is that oh here she is. What do you think Sean? Wow He's pissed that you would doxer. Oh, here she is. What do you think Sean? She's a real peach. Wow. That's his girlfriend. I guess. Yeah, she's on the stream with him. Change her. Mama change her hair color. She'd be all right. Yeah, well, you know, Valsch has had a hard life. He talked about living in the poor part of Beverly Hills. Oh really? Yeah, he's not up there in a home-be-hills like he, uh, yeah, it's such a tough life he's had. Yeah.

No wonder he turned to communism, you know, really hard life there. It reminded me of Destiny so much. Like, he uses all the way he describes things. He'll talk endlessly to describe something very simple and at no point of it will approach any kind of useful answer. Like high, high, high, high, golden dialect and all these social constructs. It's really, it's pretty fucking annoying. Yeah. He's a phony and he's not to use a certain phrase, not nearly as smart as he thinks he is. And I pretty much had him cop to everything, including his love for horsecock on the stream. I should have just laughed after that because that was the victory there.

But well, you know, the half gallon of bourbon and what was his love for horsecock? He sexually aroused by horse penis. I mean, that's his thing. I guess, no accounting for taste. That's Bernie's American horsecock. Yeah, the horse, horse, horse, horse, horsecock. He got ran out of Destiny's community because he was sexually harassing women, which he also coped to on the stream last night. And one of his, you know, come online was about his lust for horsecock. And we've talked about that on the kill stream before. So I said, so sitting there talking to him, you know, he coped to it to be fair. But, you know, yeah, I don't know. I just love listening to, I love listening to the Bernie guys.

Now that Bernie's like, you know, cratered and was destroyed by a mentally decrepit old man and now a global pandemic has kind of, a global pandemic has kind of removed the need to have an election. Like everybody really tightened their assholes up. And they're like, oh, no, no, no, no, we're not changing anything.

We're not even gonna leave the house. So just Trump just keep going for another. Everybody hold their breaths. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I've been explained by two from so many Bernie guys like well, this is what the reality like this is why you're wrong like I mean you guys lost. What are you explaining anything to anybody for you don't you clearly don't know anything Because you not only did you lose last time you lost this time to a no show you lost this time to MOOC weekend at Bernie's Like you lost to a guy who is more decrepit than Hillary. All I see is less going on there than there was last time when you lost. All I see is just like everybody talking about

like Biden's mental decline over the last, you know, so many, so many years. It's like, I said it the other day, I was like, God, he got hold in a hurry. Yes. Like really fast. Fast. Even from 2016 to 2020.

I know Biden's barely even there now. And he still took out Bernie. Yeah. It is pretty embarrassing. And he's one of those, you know, died in the wool like his profile. He's got the montage of communist, like Lenin Stalin, they got Bernie Sanders in there. And then he has his own face. Yeah.

And the montage. He's one of those types. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Null is here. Null wants to come on too. Hey, no, how you doing?

Pretty good. Oh, it is. I can be when I'm locked down in Serbia. I don't even know if they're going to let me go anymore because I'm not locking down in Doug read. So are you, do you still have your plane tickets to LA? No, I canceled it because I'm not locking down Doug read. So are you do you still have your plane tickets to LA? No, I canceled it because I saw if I went I would be like a minute or 14 day quarantine. Yeah, man. And the sad thing is it's like okay, it's self-quarantine. I could theoretically skip it,

but I have a feeling if I did that someone would report me until I pick government and say this guy went, you know, this is when you arrived I know he arrived here. He went to this public events during his self-quarantine. Yeah I'd probably get flak because I know a lot of people would do that. Ah that sucks man I was really really looking forward to that. I was dedicated I was gonna say no matter what happens I'm gonna go but then it's like I literally can't because I would have to leave like two days ago to get have a quarantine Yeah, I watched your stream your streams are great by the way the mad at the internet streams Thank you. It's so so null will go through like a

Kiwi farm thread and play all the old clips and like describe walk you through the story of a low-cal Yeah, internet freak and how they became that stream. Sometimes I do like a full recap history, but I haven't done that in a while. Usually these days, I just kind of do like a week in review for people who don't follow things too closely. And it's been going pretty well. Like, like, 1,200, 1,400 viewers every Friday,

which is pretty nice. Because I didn't expect to get over 1,000 at any point. No, they're great. Because I was thinking about it, I was watching the one you were doing last where you were talking about, you were talking about missing the show and how you didn't get insurance for the flight because you wanted to force yourself to not cancel. And then the pandemic hits. And so now you can't get any money back or Or it's like 200 bucks or something like that.

I did talk to them at one time. And Mark's there willing to wave the fee. Oh, that's good. I was watching that one and what struck me about it is why your streams are so good is how much you really care about these precious freaks that you have. And a few of those. I mean, it's okay, it's like if something happens to someone,

then it stops it. The game was officially over when someone is just pushed out of the sphere. And it's like, I don't know, I have weird principles that don't make sense to most people and kind of make me look hypocritical at times, but I try to strike a balance between and kind of make me look hypocritical at times, but I try to strike a balance between getting what I want out of someone and not interfering with their life to the degree that they can't at any time separate themselves from it, because that's what makes it funny, is that they have the option at any time

to press the button on their computer and just walk away from it. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, they're keeping themselves there. Yeah, it's like, that is the humor values that when someone is a public, and sometimes it gets like kind of a tragic comedy, it's like with Idubs,

because he's like a celebrity now. So he almost doesn't have the option to pull himself away from the fact that his girlfriend is pouring herself out for no reason because he has enough money. It's like not. Yeah. You know, she's out hooring because she wants to fuck other men. It's not a money thing at that point because he has money.

Yeah. But it's like, the thing is with people who try to become internet celebrities is that they don't understand real-world celebrities. They get paid so much because they put up with so much bullshit, you know what I mean? Yeah. These people want to be famous, but they don't get the compensation that's warranted for making your whole life public. And when they do get some level of success, they don't have that option to pull away from

it anymore. It is interesting that it's like a commoditization of shame. We found the price that a human being will take for shame. We had an industry built up around it where we were clearly overpaying for the minutia, to dissect the minutia of these people's lives. Other people are doing it online for free, and they're not getting anything, but they're not that interesting. Yeah. So eventually these two things are going to

meet, right? But the way you go through them without judgment, every single time I think you're going to tear into somebody and criticize them where I have that feeling of wanting to judge someone, you will make a hard left and just say like, and you know, that's what they enjoy. And I'll go, ah, you got me a danger. You got me again, you motherfucker. Like you're always withholding that judgment until the end. Speaking of which, what did you think about Ralph's appearance on the drunken peasants last night?

What is? I thought he stopped drinking. Ralph, I thought you stopped drinking. Clearly not. Yeah, I did stop and then. Yeah. Casting. So, you know, it is what it'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I point where I didn't get to listen to the actual debate. I listened to the post-frame, which is condensed content.

It's really good. The hour after the debate is really worth listening to, even if you don't know the context. So, that is pretty funny. But the whole thing about doxing is girlfriend's side. I just remember when I was talking to you about doxing a while ago, and I came up with the brilliant line. There's literally nothing wrong with doxing. You're very hard to disavow me for that.

But me? I see my first waste of efforts have gotten to you. No, no, Ralph. Oh, Ralph. Well, I don't remember exactly what I said, but I've written our whole stuff. I don't equate doxing with the big internet crime that people seem to think it is.

And, you know, this is a guy vows as I mentioned earlier. They dox people all the time. They try to get people kicked off platforms. Everyone does it. Yeah. And I don't care about your fat fucking girlfriend. Yeah, it doesn't bother me to, you know, that that's not some big thing. I would really have trouble dealing with myself if I told everybody her name. No, I wouldn't. You know, people act like the act in and of itself is what's to be reprehensible.

It's like it's not the act in and of itself is not evil because it's record keeping. It's your intent. Like what's the truth? I mean, you could throw it out there with malicious intent, but even that, like if you can throw it as hard as you want, but nothing's going to come of it. It's like when people say, oh, if you dock someone, they can get swatted. Well, I can get swatted. Anyone can get swatted.

I can pull a name and number out of the phone book and swap them. But it's the swatting, that's the problem. Yeah, you got to find out the first thing. It's the guy making the fucking call, that's the problem. Not all of the pain, the client, the. That we should not have like a militarized police where you can just throw a name at a 911 operator and have them fucking kill. There was another incident just recently where someone called and said that he was like he was armed and dangerous.

He had multiple violent offenses, weapons related again, unregistered weapons. The SWAT team comes, they shoot him through the fucking window. He's asleep on his sofa. And the guy's just dead. And he had a clean record. He didn't even have guns, I'm pretty sure. It's like, why are we in a position where that's even a thing? Why are you not angry at that then the fucking talk book and spoke you, you know? These days people with bad intentions can cause a lot of fucking problems.

Yeah. Well Dr. Nurt, go ahead Ralph. I was just going to say, if you can't keep your anonymity, that's your problem. And if you're putting yourself out there, you're bringing this fat bitch on your stream. It's up to you to keep that private. And if you can't do that, you can't do that. And when you start bringing it to my ex-wife, when you start't do that, you can't do that. And when you start bringing up my ex-wife, when you start taking it there, I have no problems with taking it there

myself. So how's the ex-wife situation, man? Yeah, I was going to ask because it seemed like that was like a, a, a, a, a powder cake. Oh, how would it not? I would be fucking furious. Somebody could, somebody brings up, like, the actual divorce and stuff. I mean, the divorce is, I mean, it's divorce. So that sucks. But, you know, we're not warring or anything. We did have a conversation the other day.

Maybe didn't go that well, I think I tweeted a little something about something. I should have tweeted out. Just dropping an end bomb. I think stupid cunt was the word that I used. That wasn't appropriate. That was inappropriate. But, I mean, she's a good person. Just didn't work out.

So, well, I'm happy you're still coming to road rage. I will be in Los Angeles unless there's martial law and I literally can't, but like, no, I didn't get insurance on the fucking ticket either. I never buy you. I never buy you a new either. Nobody ever buys the insurance, do I? I mean, until you until it's too late. Well, I know this is like the one time.

Yeah, the one time that you should have. Although I don't understand like what all the bailout is then. Fuck tests, man. The people who want coronavirus tests are the same people to get tested for STDs. Like, what are you? Why are why are you guys dumping all this money into fucking tests? Just assume that you have it.

Give me money for me. Like I, every, the, people aren't going to work anymore. Yeah, I know. That's the problem. Studio's are closing. You don't need to dump billions of dollars into the medical industry to test me for shit that I'm not going to change my behavior. I do like it. I do like the assume you have it. Yeah, you've got it. Give me the test. Oh,

the test says you've got it and everybody else has it. Okay. Well, I guess all can I just, can you we do a redo and you just give me the three grand that it got? No, sorry. We already get, we already gave it to Blue Cross. Oh, oh, I. This is all big scam to make them more money. Yeah, unless there's martial law the show is going on me and I see you're on I see we got the only show. I might have to do a combo show to do it on people. Looking forward to it. Thanks for having me. Yeah. I don't know. You got anything else? No, I don't think so though I am. it's just my whole thing right now is I've been looking at like visas and stuff and it's it's it's actually getting scary just because of how

the governments are late reacting and they're overreacting. Everything is it's just locking down. It's like if I'm fucking stuck here for like two months because I can't get out of Serbia, that's gonna blow. You know what the worst thing is all the kids are getting off school. Yeah. And I never got off shit when I was a kid. Yeah. So ours, we didn't got to get off shit.

The earthquake happened in Northridge in 94. We got like three days off school. But these kids now are getting a month off of school. Mm-hmm. So just sit at home and do fuck all. Yeah. Like a little fucker. Oh, actually, I do have two things if you don't mind.

Okay, go ahead. Uh, I wanted to know what your opinion on Brittany Venti is. I love her. Oh, we've, what? If I didn't have her on, if I didn't have a girlfriend, I would orbit her like the fucking moon. Brittany Venti with those huge cans

and her eyes on further apart than her ears are that is whoa she's so beautiful and she's so funny why what do you think about her I feel physical revolution looking at her and she somehow when I look at her I smell cat shit I can't shake the cat shit thing from her every time I see her, I just, I smell it. Like in her hair and stuff? Oh, no, there's a video, there's a stream where she was talking and then her cat just got up on the bed behind her and dumped ass and her cover is. I just know she stinks. A woman like just crawling around and catch shit on her bed.

And she's got three like breakfast, all stashed under her pillows and stuff. Hidden. That's hot as hell. I'm talking like Marilyn Monroe hot. She's like almost OD in bed. She's got McDonald's like seven days, seven McDonald's bags, watted up and shoved under her mattress.

Like she's hoarding diamonds. That's hot as hell. This is my man. I want to listen to those podcasts and think it's like a terrorist organization. This entire bit is perfect. I want to put my hand in Brittany Venti's hair and have it already be tangled up. I like the hair is reaching out like a virus and pulling me in like, oh my God, while

I'm deep inside of her. Is that okay to say? Jesus. Bad. So by the way, speaking of Venti, she's going to be on the Hall of Fame show slash roast. Assuming that I have somewhere to stream it from. So I guess, I guess I'll figure that out. Sean, I've sent you an email, by the way, I was trying to get you on there too. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Sorry, I'll respond. I got the other day. That's still going.

Ralph, what do you think's going to happen with you live? Because you've kind of, I mean, you built that platform more or less like you pioneered it. Well, they, they told me 24 hours, but I haven't been able to talk to them today. I think they'll probably stick to that. I might be in a little bit of a shorter leash these days after. Maybe feeling, uh, I guess a couple of things about the, the I don't know. I don't know. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don destroy it. I feel like, oh. Oh. Oh, my fucking god complex. I wanna be shit without me. Oh. See, the world would be so much better. I thought, though, to be honest, but anyway. I made you, you got to memorize the casino speech, or is it good fellows?

I made you, you do want to to fuck isn't that what is that? It's a casino casino. Yeah, and that's the line. I'm not saying that in a drugatory way. I'm repeating a line from a Martin Scorsese film. Right? Yeah. I made you out here.

You yeah. Right? I'm just saying it's yelling out on him. Yeah. You got to memorize that speech for next time you get you get a gentleman's band from D. Live of 24 hours. I love it man. You're the fucking rainmaker. You're going around. You're going from one stream to another dragon dragon everybody along in your wake. You can't abort the resort dick.

Even I've tried very hard, but yeah still here. You're locked in now like I dubs can't escape wandering around the desert for 40 years. It's going to fill some some sympathy for the chosen people. Just humbling from stream to stream is one or the desert. That's a very goodtransparent thing. There's a mis-translation. Just to talk to those guys like Vouch and Destiny, like just listening to him talk, makes me so enraged. Anyone? All right, any I, any? Okay.

I was actually looking at Rikeda. I saw that he was coming to LA too. Oh my God, you wanna get Nick on? Sure. Doug's calling me too. Hold on, let me get Nick in here. Doug T'N'Apple? Yeah, Doug T'N'Apple.

Nick, what do you got? I heard of my story. Hey, what's up, buddy? What's up, man? How you doing? First of all, of course you can't abort the retort Ralph. You're a dad. Dad, so get the abortion option.

What do you think, Kate? You can't, I can't do that. Nick's taking this into it. He's brought his Christian conservative platform. I can't tell. I can't tell that. Next take. Yeah. Next take in this into it. He's brought his Christian conservative platform. I always pushing. See, they're just as bad as the days. They're just, they're always bringing their agendas into every conversation.

I got dicks on the left of me. Abortion's on the right here. I am. Anyway. Well, yeah, so I'm, I'm now coming to LA as well because I've been, let's see, I've been booked for a show in Wisconsin for like the past seven months. And you obviously have the coronavirus right now, the way you sound. Yeah, you sound sick as hell. It's what's going on.

I just woke up. I do go. I'm gonna die. It's do you have any cravings for horsecock? I heard that's one of the symptoms. Mm-hmm. Oh, shockingly. I'm, uh, I'm without that. Okay. But your, your conversation earlier was triggering all of the PTSD, which one that I can muster the, what the horsecar die one. The hair dying one. Oh, right? Yeah. Lady Rackets told me just yesterday. She said, oh, by the way, before we go out to LA,

I want to get my hair done. And I was like, damn it. No, you are not. No, you are not. So we were going to be Quinox, which is a regional burning man that got fucking canceled because of coronavirus. I was, I was dieting to be in shape for this festival. Like I got, I got, I don't have,

I don't mean, I wouldn't call them abs, but I got the suggestion of abs. There you go. Going rocking right now, not anymore. They canceled bequinox, a local burning man, drunken, drug-fueled, rave in the desert, because of the fucking virus, but that's what she was dying her hair for. And I said the same thing, like, do you know how miserable you would be with that, with that brass job, with that, with that homosexual assassination that you got out in the middle of the desert? What happened with Lady Racket, Snick? Oh, we, she just told me last night, so she's going to go get it done. I'm like, please, just be something fine. Like I, I don't care at the end of the

day, but it's always the song and dance. Like, Oh, how do you like it? Oh, it's good. Was it better than last one? I, I sure. I don't. And they know the answer. I'll show you a picture. They know that they know that the answer is no, but they make you go through the pantomime. Like they're figuring it out in front of you just so they can put all their wrong opinions on you and then blast you for them. And then they spend like three months hating it and they finally like it and they're like, oh, now maybe I should go back to what it was like, oh, come on. It's like $200 every time you do this.

Oh my God. Yeah. Let's show you're coming to LA. That's fantastic. Yep. Yeah. Let's show you coming to LA. That's fantastic. Yep. Yep, we will be there. We fly in in the 26. It should be.

Should be a blast. I was so. When you first sent me the message that you're doing the show on that day, I was like, damn it, damn it, damn it. Because I had this other event. People had paid for my tickets for it. Yeah. I was going to meet people in a business capacity.

It was like, ah. But then Corona came through and saved the day. It's the only show on our God. Speaking of God, you can blame me for Corona virus because that's how I get to go to LA because God made it happen. It's really stopped a lot of things that I, like if it ends school, I mean, there's got to be a lot of people just thinking

Why am I sending my kid to school? Like so the the Irishman is a little Irishman. He got home He he came home after they canceled his school they canceled it for a month because he goes to a private school And they they're you know number one like oh, we got a cancel right away like whatever the parents want It's a direct democracy private schools. We got it, it's gone, it's canceled. Come on, Doth, cancel. He comes home and he says, it's the greatest day of my life. Mm-hmm.

He says, I've never been happier. Yeah. He makes a Gmail account, email account within 20 minutes and sends me a picture of himself editing movies. Yeah. Right. I'm like, why the fuck is this kid? And why do you send this kid to just get dragged

down by all these fucking morons? Let him hone his craft at a young age. Just let him sit and he said, wait, let me, I gotta get his quote, honey, did I send you his quote? He says to my sister, there's something almost like this. He says seven. He says, he says, oh, this is so great. Cause now, seven says, he said, he said, he said, he said, yeah, he's, so this is so great. Cause I'm so good with computers and technology to my sister. This is so great. Cause I'm so good with computers and technology. And I'm way better than you. That makes perfect sense. Yeah. Fuck you. That's right. perfect sense. That's it. Yeah. Fuck you.

That's right. Yeah, perfect sense. Make sure it's, I'm good and you are bad. Yeah. And you are bad. I am better. That the handshake shit, commuting to work. The fucks ever going to, all this useless shit.

Anyway, I don't know. Yeah, so thank you, Nick. And it brought Nick to us in LA. Oh, okay. And go ahead. I love and hate it, though, because like what what Josh is talking about. Oh, yeah, mandatory government quarantine. Well, fuck off. If you don't have the virus, uh, and you haven't been in contact with the virus, you're on a mandatory quarantine.

They're going to prevent you from travel. Thought this is America. What are we doing here? So wait, uh, I did want to know, is it legal for them to just shut all flights down? Like, can they stop? I thought Article 4 of the Constitution is that they can't interfere with interstate anything. Like can they just, yeah, but the executive orders and if anything like that, I mean, we, executive order removed like 120,000 Japanese people and put them in camps. Yeah, they did that. Yeah, that was an executive order. State of America.

Yeah, and then the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the Supreme Court was like, uh, yeah, the removal was, uh, was, was fine. We're going to punt. We're going to punt on the incarceration part. We're not going to rule on that for almost two years. They, and they, they finally overturned that, that decision by the election. Yeah. Like two years ago. Oh, oh, oh, was, they just overturned that decision by the election. Yeah. Like two years ago, it's core Matsu is what you're talking about.

Yeah. I'm talking about when they actually were like, okay, yeah, we got to release them. This was like when they released them during the war, but it was like they knew that they were going to rescind it or whatever, but then they waited till after the election. Well, they were Roosevelt. But the Supreme Court just overturned the opinion of the initial opinion of court. Okay. Just interesting.

Interesting. But no, you do have a, you do have a constitutional right to travel, but you have no constitutional right to travel by any particular mean. Oh, so they can't shut down air travel. They can shut down roads. They can, you know, interstate highways and stuff like that. They can, they can do that. No problem.

Busses, that fuck it. You can't to cross, bitch. In Vegas, fly everybody out. Vegas isn't shutting anybody down, right? No, no, I haven't, you know, I haven't found out. Can you imagine?

No, they can't. No, they can't. Um, uh-huh. Oh, I see. They shut down Disney and Universal, though. I know. they can't. Um, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Kings ran some of $15 million to help with the relief efforts. Yeah. The American CEOs are really stepping up when we need them. To the huge amounts of $15 million, Whole Foods has generously suggested that employees share their sick leave with each other.

Oh, yeah, that's a love that thing, right? And I think, you know what, next time time burning comes around I'm voting for him just to Fuck you guys. It's gonna be them anyone over 10 million tax. It's not gonna be a tax this time It's if you if you have 10 million dollars will drag out the street and cut you dick off How about that? You guys want to you think though you think all the Socialism memes are gonna work when you're telling me I need to share sick leave Guy writes into the show and says HR told him

Yeah, he needs to prove from a doctor that he had contact with someone who had the coronavirus and tested Positively in a lab knowing full well Nobody can get that fucking test. Yeah, what, this is, you either show up with your dick in your hand or a fucking assault rifle, right? This is what they're asking for. You to come to work the next day with an explanation of why you're there. Oh, you mean you couldn't get, that's funny.

You couldn't get anyone to show that they tested positively when only the Utah jazz and the president can get tested on command. That's a shame. Guess you're showing up for work to put in your 15 minutes of productivity today. Yeah, Congress can't even get a test. It's amazing. Like how are they so fucking bad at this? I don't know.

It's crazy. Are you guys stocked up on toilet paper? I'm sure blessings, Nick. If everyone Congress is going to be of Congress, if Congress dies from it, can you imagine that everyone in the government over 56 and a half just dropped dead? Can you imagine the era of prosperity that we would be in? Yeah, the best thing that could possibly happen. I mean, let me put a hold on all legislative action and let people just fucking rebuild the country. That'd be great. I really don't understand why everyone is so vociferously defending the boomers from, like the boomers are the only ones in danger.

Yes, that's what they're thinking significantly. Yeah, that if it goes up and they think if it's like 80 plus a death rate might be like 10 to 15 percent. Yeah. And everybody else, it's like at worse, 10 times worse than the flu. And I'm worried. I'm more like seven, I think. I'm worried.

0% about that. Yeah, it's not gonna have worth, we're fine. So like I see every blue check mark and every hit piecing, like, oh, how irresponsible that you guys are spreading. I'm kind of thinking like, yeah, but you know, fuck every, like you guys need to start putting some money up. Where if you're so worried about this,

why not, why not buy, why not pay for us to stay home? It's not like. Oh man. Go ahead. Yeah, so obviously I talk about the Vic case a lot and he's out in he's out in Vegas this weekend doing a doing a convention and the convention didn't shut down, but this is my rage, by the way, fucking Cuck's turn trolls. Like, you can sent eye consent, but they don't. Oh my God. So Vic is out doing a show and meeting a bunch of fans and stuff. And people are now saying, how irresponsible of him not to cancel. Like not, not that the show should have canceled, but that he should have canceled from the show on his own. but that he should have canceled from the show on his own.

Yeah. So that he doesn't spread the coronavirus that he doesn't have. And the man's a fucking boomer anyway, he's more likely to die from it than anyone he's meeting. Yeah. There was a guy who's leaning into me and Ralph on Twitter for not cancelling road rage. It's like, man, you just don't, you guys just do not understand. Don't mad about it.

Like that guy was, oh, you're putting people at risk. And it's a, I was concerned. Don't go. You don't have to go. I was so happy. I was like, I know this show is not going to get canceled. Took a road of virus. If it was anybody else, I'll be worried about it. But I already know that Dixie not going to cancel it. Absolutely not. I'm not sending out refunds. Fuck that shit. I already had to do that.

Australia. I was at worst feeling in my life sending a 20 grand right out the fucking door. No way. All right, guys, let me get let me get a rage from each of you and then get the hell out of here. I'm sure you need rest. I just did mine. It's the it's the cuck's are in trolls.

Okay. I fucking hate these people who come out. Two people have some sort of consensual encounter or interaction or whatever. And then a bunch of people come in and try and do something about it. It's not just that they don't like it, right? That's fine. I don't like it is fine, but not liking it. So I want to have you, I want to have you removed from society, I want to have you remove from your platform or whatever. That that should need stand. Yeah, they really want

the whole economy shut down. And I don't know how you weigh deaths. That's the worry. Deaths result from the shutting down of an entire economy versus a virus. More Walmart stampede deaths for toilet paper will occur than deaths from the virus if they keep this shit up. Yeah, I don't remember this happening during the H1N1 even. No, no, no, none of us ever happened. Yeah, which was rough and it sucked, but like, no, we're still going to, we still had to go to school. So yeah, why the fuck do these kids get? Oh, imagine being a fucking kid now in school too, because you go home and all you do is

play on the internet anyway. Like that's the recreation. So you don't even have to go anywhere. So if everything else is shut down, who cares? Yeah. Yeah. I will live in the dream. Yeah. All right. Nick, thank you. I'll see you in L.A. Hey, thanks, buddy. See you soon. See ya. How you doing, man? Yeah. I'm great. Okay. This is a great show. Oh, thank you. All right. Josh, Josh, Josh, what makes you a rage, buddy? Okay. This when I flew to Serbia, I got a plane. And now, of course, when you pick your seat on a plane, you have to pay

extra to actually choose your seat. So if you want a specific seat, if you want window behind the wing, you got to pay if you're really not going to behind the wing, you got to pay. It's a new year's price. You're a nickel and don't even have for everything now. You have to pay an extra like 10 euros to get an exit road seat, which I find absolutely fucking preposterous. It's like, I'm not paying you for a leg room. I am donating my body, my young physically strong body to assist in the evacuation of this fucking plane. Yeah, yeah, the fuck is right.

River, right. Like in that, that Tom Hanks movie, if that happens, my ass is gonna be the one making sure all the boomers and cripples get off the fucking plane. You know, a lot of people would buckle under that the weight of that, but you know, not, not, not know. See, this is what I'm saying. It's the royal we. Yeah. Like, it's it's always we oh you need to pay this fine you need to you need to you need to not use the N word in public you don't get to do it

you can't you can't walk into a head store and order of and and buy a free base pipe but as soon as it's everyone else's but as soon as the planes going down it's well we are sitting in the exit row and we need to help everybody get off in the plane like, get your fucking checkbooks out. Let's see, let's start seeing some 20s whose I'm in the exit row. I own this fucking space. Get you wallets out. I'm selling, I'm selling exits off this plane starting at $20. Let's go to here 20, right? Yeah, no, it's, it's complete bullshit. And I guarantee you, if that did actually happen, you know,

what would I get for it? I would get maybe like a free flight. Well, if I get the exit rail every flight, that would barely compensate me over my lifetime for that upgrade fee. It's making a lot of sense. Yeah, it's nonsense. Last time I talked to my mom was a couple months ago

when she took a flight. And she said that when she was on it, she was a, in medicine at some point. She was on it and a big fat black girl, like 12 years old, just collapsed next to her. And she's like, oh, fuck. Because she's obligated by law to help in this situation. And then at the end of it, you know, all these other people come up and start helping

and shit, but she got like a commendation from like the stewardess and gets like a free upgrade or something on one of her flights because she provided like emergency medical services and shit. And that's, you know, I didn't, I didn't, she didn't have to pay for the privilege of being in that position though. She didn't pick like the fat people collapse seat so that she could be there to help. So, yeah, complete fucking bullshit.

Yeah, it is. You are there, you're paying for the, you're paying for the, you're paying for the privilege of being their emergency, like go to, right? Yep. Oh, man. Yeah, okay.

All right, Josh, I'm sorry, you couldn't make it out, man. I was really looking forward to reporting with you hanging out with you. Have a good one, man. Take it easy. So Ralph, Ralph a male. Bojack horse, Ralph. What's your rage, man? Streaming sites, not letting me say whatever the fuck I want to say I think would be the current rage But also you brought up something on Twitter and I didn't tear the first part of the show So I don't know if you talk about this, but all the emails about how they're dealing with coronavirus Yeah, I am so fucking sick and tired of that and I got one from little Caesars the other day I'm not concerned with how Little Seasers are

vowing with the fucking coronavirus. They have a virus virus special, right? Virus virus. Yeah. Everything you ever signed up for in your life is sending you an email telling you, oh, we're taking this very seriously. And these are the things we're doing.

And you know, you're safe here. If you come spend your money here, it's like just leave me alone. If you were worried about your Grammarly account, suffering any kind of outages during this trying time in our world's history, just know that we're there for you. Yeah. I just want them to band together like a we are the world,

like Michael Jackson, you know, like we are prepared, but every company just do one, cram all the logos into one like million dollar webpage style, every pixel is a logo and send it out once. Get it over with everybody too. Every, every fucking app, every, just if they got your name, they have your email, you're getting one.

They're gonna hit you up. You're getting one, there's no air out it. So yeah, just if they got your name, they have your email, you're getting one. They're going to hit you up. Yeah, you're getting one. There's no way around it. So yeah, that does bother me. My emails fucked up as enough as it is. Please. Well, thank you for calling in. I can't wait to watch the whole stream.

It was so I was. Yeah. Last night my phone started blowing up. I was like, Oh, God, I'm not mentally prepared to handle that. I got to put this. Yeah. I got to put this down. But then reading the timeline today was like,

everyone's freaking out. But by the end, they're like, well, you know, this is amazing. This is internet broadcasting history. Ralph's the rain maker. He's doing what he does. Thank you, man, for having me on. I appreciate you checking in.

A lot of people, you know, sent me a message and that was very kind of them as well. Basically, are you okay, Ralph? But I appreciate that. I'm looking forward to LA. Ralph, if you don't live on the edge, someone else has to. So we need you. You're in that exit row voluntarily. Yeah, you're in the exit row. I hope someone's compensating you You know Thank you guys. I appreciate you having me on. Yeah, we're gonna have a great time in LA man Let's do well. I see buddy Okay, oh boy. What'd you think Sean? We think all those cats

Those guys man, they live a life that I don't really relate to it is entertaining to listen to yeah, yeah, you don't relate to them Well, I mean no, I mean I mean I mean the N word at people and just like they're gonna you're gonna Doc's their fat girlfriend just how much stuff happens online man. Oh, it's It's like what you know, you but you get you get sucked. It's all it's always interesting. Yeah, what you think Mars, what do you think of the emails? I got several from my bank. Yeah, oh yeah, the banks of the worst ones And I haven't been into a branch for two years. Yeah, sure. I don't know what the fuck they're talking about So I got about six emails from Schwab every day Telling me that they have market analysts on hand, ready to answer my

questions. Like, what the fuck are you guys going to answer? I don't know if the president has coronavirus. What do you have any more answers than that? Yeah. Um, I just crazy what happens online. Dr. Nurse, Dr. Nurse this week tried to trick Chris the Kiwi. She sent Chris the Kiwi all of the 80s girls contact information for her job. Why? She said, yeah, Dr. Nurse, she pretends to be somebody else online, but she sent Chris the Kiwi, the all 80s girls school. Yeah. And then said that she was doing it so he could manipulate, to strike fear into me.

Mm-hmm. And so that he could use it to get money, extort me for money. What's wrong with these people? Exactly. And this is just a constant. This is just a constant online. She's dealing with this kind of nonsense.

Anyway. Maaz, oh yeah, Doug wanted to come in. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff.

It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff.

It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. It's not a lot of stuff. Maz is here before all the Ralph stuff happened before the world shut down. I saw something interesting online. Something that I was kind of familiar with before. I didn't know that I didn't know that we had that I knew somebody who was involved in this. Martina what is her name Martina Martina Martina Martina Martina Martina Martota.

I had seen her. I don't this woman is a some kind of political commentator I guess I'm just attractive woman. Martina Marcota. I had seen her, this woman is a, some kind of political commentator, I guess, such as a attractive woman. She was putting together a comic, one of these funded comics, where they launch it and then get a bunch of money and then they send you a comic. Yeah.

Like Doug did with Earthworm Jim and Doughnut Bill. And she was talking about how she got defrauded and the guy she hired, or the guy she was paying to do this comic, absconded with all this money. Took he totally robbed her of all this money and he tried to make her project all about him. And I said, wow, this is terrible. Like, this is a big, this is someone with quite a reach, saying all these horrible things.

First of all, how did you get duped? How did you get so easily duped? And that's kind of, whenever that happens, I always think, well, you know, it's, how did you get duped so easily? How did things get so bad that you were so, that you were so thoroughly duped? But then I kind of write that off as like, oh, it's a hot chick.

I start asking questions. Yeah, like a hot chick's kind of fuck everything up. You know, no offense. I don't wanna sound misogynist or anything, but quite frankly, I think hot women have enough advantages. It doesn't really matter if I've shit on them. No, you can. But I started digging into it a little bit.

And I asked her to call into the show today, but I didn't hear back after. I didn't hear back after the first couple that it's Moz. And I'm like, wait a minute, I know this artist. Oh, really? You're telling me this woman is accusing an artist, an anonymous artist of stealing all this shit

and I know that guy. Whoa, mama. Well, really. Wow, okay. I wanna know more. Meanwhile, let me get Doug in here. Me too. You wanna know more too?

I wanna know a lot more. I wanna get Doug on. Free on Skype. You know, he's just gonna talk you into having kids. This is what he does. He better wait for one more beer to do that. Yeah. Hey, Dougie there.

I see Doug's waveform. Yeah, yeah, me too. Here he is. All right. Yeah. Okay. Crank Doug for me, please. How the hell are you?

I'm so good. How are you enjoying the plague? The God has, the God has wrecked upon us? I love it. I'm hoping that this is, I think it's going to, it's going to clean up our antibodies. If you survive this, this will be, you know, your body is the best maker of antibodies. So if you get sick, you'll be like a year ahead of everyone else by the time the vaccine comes out.

Oh, that's true. I actually think that I already had it with my girlfriend in Japan. We had this dry hacking cough for like two weeks that felt like nothing else. Hey, you're going to spread it. I think so. I hope so.

I'm trying to back to our way. I'm trying to get that out there. I don't want to be forgotten by history as the person who spread it to America. Yeah. But let's keep our heads. Yeah. Okay, what keep our heads. Yeah. Okay, what was I going to say?

Oh, yeah. So Maz is in here. Hey, Doug, how are you, dude? Hi. So Maz was just telling the story of, I want to talk about Bigfoot Bill and your, your Earthworm Jim comic, the million dollar comic, which is a huge success.

Yeah. That's incredible, man. I'm, I'm a blessed lucky guy. Yeah, happy guy. How's it going? Making comics is a dream. It's like you doing your show. I get to do my show at my table.

How's number two going? This is more like a nightmare. Yeah, it really is. It really is. Number two is bad. It is, I'm writing it. So the script phase, I'm about 55 pages into like a 55 page script. So that's

always bad. But you have to do that story work for the story to work out. So Jim too will be offered later this year. Bigfoot Bill too is now on Indiegogo. I would love to get some more readers. We're going to do a killer book and it's got a great story. 160 pages hard bound. How do you actually find the motivation to like sit down and put in the work to do this, especially with a wife and all those kids, right? Man, I can't, like I don't know if I got, I don't know if I need to start taking

an Adderall or something, but yeah. That's what I do. That's how I do it. I mean, you need to start having kids. I know what, I know it. See, with their agenda, with the Christian agenda, always cramming in. I can be happy till you reproduce, my friend.

Right. It's old saying, Patty Heaton used to say, it's an old Italian proverb that a baby comes with a loaf of bread under their arms. And I assume it means something like, when you have children and you are forced to become more productive. So that's a lot of it is,

if I was just living in a car, I'd be like, yeah, I'm gonna make much. When you have a wife and four kids suddenly, you take it a little more, you kind of put your head down and get to work. Okay. That's what Coach says. Life Coach says that he now is able to

appreciate the time that he has and he's as productive as possible during that time. I don't doubt that at all. Yeah, except he hasn't actually produced anything. So it's just, but he's thinking along those lines. He says, yeah, it's all these sayings that guys have created

well, you know, how much better their lives are, but when you make a life, when you produce a life on your own, right? Almost on your own. Almost on your own. Yeah. It's like I'm going to make a little dick master since it's at least self perpetuating an argument for your own existence.

If there was ever a case for forced sterilization, that's it. I need about a hundred of those motherfuckers. I need a little army. argument for your own existence. If there was ever a case for forced sterilization, that's it. I need about 100 of those motherfuckers. I need a little army. So, hey, have you rethought your position on washing hands since the virus, since the play? No, I still do not wash my hands. Okay.

Good. Why? Because it's a bunch of, it's superstition that you think you're gonna stop a virus by washing your hands. It's like bunch of, it's superstition that you think you're gonna stop a virus by washing your hands. It's like a, it's like a false solve. So when I get it, the germs are gone. It's just like a bunch of stuff that people write in a book and they believe. Like, it's a bunch of science people.

It's a bullshit. Yeah. But people who say the Earth's older than 6,000 years old. Right. A bunch of kids. No, it's like, you, you know, you go to the airport and if you touch, you touch any surface and then you go to the airport and if you touch any surface and then you go to the bathroom to wash your hands, that is the one place in the whole world you do not want to be at a public place where everyone's touching that thing.

Don't do it. Don't go near it. You go to the gas station and you put the gas in your car and you touch that handle, you just touched 100 people's hands. And if you think washing your hands is gonna make basic human contact, just clean it all up and give you the cure to the coronavirus your naive.

So I'm saying, fine, wash your hands, but don't put pressure on me. You're making a lot of sense. I like that last part. Don't put pressure on me. Well, it's the last part. Don't prep your up. Don't shred on me. Well, it's the I like that part. I'm not saying. You're the coronaviris for the bar of soap. You idiot. Yeah, you're talking about a virus. Yeah. It's tiny. It gets all.

It's tiny and it's everywhere. It gets all in your cells. Bar cells. It has no symptoms for up to two weeks. So you're carrying it. It has light symptoms. You're touching everything. You're going to your crew, everything you touch, everything you do. That's why I can spread so easily. By some 90 cents, you think something that costs 90 cents is gonna fix anything? Fucking washing your hands like a simp.

That's what you're doing. Just dumping money into CVS so they can make longer receipts that you're paying for by buying all the fucking soap. Just give them a rinse. Turn the water on. Pay pigs, man. Yeah.

Just look at them. Just look at them. You can just look at them. It's the same thing. You're doing the same thing. Turn the water on. Dust your fingertips under the water. Wipe them on a damp towel that you've been using for three weeks and go on with your

debt. Go on contributing to the economy. Yeah, if I'm in the bathroom, I'll just turn the water on and let it run and not even put my hands under it sometimes and turn it off, just make people think I did. I do that too. Yeah. Yeah. Go for a rigorous jog every day and eat a lot of meat and cut sugar out of your diet and

build up your immunities. That's another way to fight it. But they're going like, look, America's got an obesity problem. They're not, we got to get sell them on Washington, hands and pure hell. It's not way to fight it. But they're going like, look, America's got an obesity problem. They're not, we got to get sell them on Washington, hands and pure health. It's not going to work. Nobody's getting off their couch. That's not going to work.

I do think of all the, of all the coronavirus hysteria, I just look at how fat America is and think, what do you guys think like that we're ready to do? We're not ready to sacrifice anything. Maybe on a side, but going along with this, in 2016 and 2017, our life expectancy has gone down for the first time. Good.

Yeah, because it's lightly down. Because of all the affrontary we've been committing in the eyes of the Lord. That's why. Now, I don't bring God into it, but I do think where do you put your happiness and your faith? Have you ever seen an 80 year old person do you, if you're aiming for that and going, I

just want to, you know, I'm going to kick all this ass between the age of 80 and 120. They're like, you're going to be drilling and just like withered and in pain every time you wake up. You're going to be back in the night. You want 30 more of those years? Well, it's like my grandpa, my mom's dad, who died an hour after episode one of this show went out. Who was an episode one?

Yeah. Oh, man. Like all of the exhausting, like, you know what, killed him. Maddox. This is like, okay, I'm giving up the ghost, I give up. But he was hanging it, that really hit me hard. Yeah, I remember I was with 80s girl and I was like, how old was he? He was 90s.

Yeah, I was gonna say, he was, yeah, he had half a lung left in him. He picked up smoking in the trenches in World War III. Right, good, good man. I made it to 90s smoking, so smoke. His wife had, his wife had really bad dementia by the end, but he still has her fucking mind. Yeah. And like he's still had his mind.

Yeah. Couldn't move. Like he was a, I mean, he was he was 120 pounds. He was a tiny guy. Yeah, go down to nothing. My, the size comes from my dad's size, but like he would openly, he would openly joke about wanting to be dead all the time, just like the burden of support,

the burden of having to be the support for people whose mental states was deteriorating into a state of like an unrecognizability was so. You see that and you're ready to go. You see, I've done enough work in a convalescent hospital and it's like walking dead when you walk in there. They hold their arms out at you and they just go, hmm, because their family's abandoned them there

because no one takes care of their parents and grandparents anymore. They're so lonely. I mean, but what are you gonna do? Like you've got to sacrifice your entire, you've got to sacrifice not maybe not your youth, but some youth in your progeny to just care for what is decomposing DNA,

like a, or a memory, like what are you really supposed to do? We're so terrified of death, Dick, and that's the same thing with this coronavirus stuff, is I don't think the snowflakes have ever had like a serious illness or, people used't think the snowflakes have ever had a serious illness or people used to have 10 children and six of them would die. I played Oregon Trail.

I know all about that. You're close or two if you weren't freaked out by anyone who's afraid of a coronavirus should never fricking step in a car because you have a chance of dying of a car wreck or eating a hoho then of dying of the coronavirus. Yeah, eating a ho especially. Eating a ho. You don't know what you could get from there. That's a corona.

The least of our problems grow around your mouth. And more people died in Chicago this month from Black on Black gunfire violence this month than the coronavirus. You don't see the media just freaking out going, we gotta stop this, we gotta do something about Black on Black violence in this one town in America. It does seem like they're whipping everybody up

into a hysteria, into a hysteria, so they can like a high school lock-in. Like we're gonna lock the gym and everybody, we're all gonna be in here, we're gonna sleep in. Like we're gonna lock the gym and everybody, we're all gonna be in here, we're gonna sleep in here, we're gonna talk all night, and that's what a quarantine is. Who the fuck does that? Shutting down the economy.

You didn't do that in your high school or middle school. Kind of, we're lock in. What? You have like an all night party, where all the kids come in and all the school. Who the fuck would wanna be there? Did you not go to a prison dick? Yeah.

Did you not go to a pedophile school? I've got something weird as fucking scout camp or something. It is. It's just a, I mean, it's like the reason the walking dead was so popular. Everybody just wants to pretend like it's an apocalypse. The forcing an apocalypse and none is actually. Yeah. And then everybody's, it's like, oh, oh, it's, we're not snowed in for the weekend. It's an ongoing thing.

So guess what, you're gonna have to go do stuff. You gotta go to work still. You gotta do it all the kids got off school. I don't have to go to work. Yeah, you gotta go to work, sorry. So does any of this work on you guys? Like, are you starting to count up your how much toilet paper you have

because everyone told you that now everyone needs to go to work? No, not toilet paper. Bro, I, I used up all my toilet paper on accident last night soaking up a bottle of nightquil that I spilled in the bathroom. I did go and look and see how many rolls I had. How many of you jumped with? Two dozen. Two dozen?

Two dozen underneath the sink. You, you, you, you, you, that's it. Bro. Charmin ultra. I mean, pretty much anything is toilet paper if you really needed little bit. Bro. Ha. Sharman Ultra. I mean, pretty much anything is toilet paper if you really needed to be. Yeah.

Why not? I have a bidet too. Oh, I know. Yeah, just toilet paper is just the least. Just seeing in the fucking shower. If it gets that bad. And then you scoop it out with your hand and then you stomp it down into the drain.

If that's what you can still take a shit on the toilet. You get, nah, I don't wanna. If I can't wipe my ass with toilet paper, I'm not shitting this. You're not shitting in the toilet. You get, no, I don't want to. If I can't wipe my ass with toilet paper, I'm not shitting this. You're not shitting in the toilet. No, I have been printing out pornography. I've got to go to write it to get more ink

because I've been printing out pornography just in case the internet goes down and my own power goes down. So I don't have my back like a frame by frame flip. Yeah, yeah, it's going to happen. Yeah, I've been printing out, it's gonna happen. Yeah. Yeah, I've been printing out, it told me to knock as best,

so that I can keep them on hand, one hand. And keep. You need more browning to print out all those cows. When you inadvertently invent the one handed flip book. Yeah, well, that's what I was gonna say. You're gonna have to. Okay, gun, where you just, just squeeze the trigger and.

There, it's done. Roll a dex. there's probably a tons of roll a dex is out there. And, I'm a troll, is oil trope where you spin that wheel and take one loop. I think that's how they originally

distributed pornography. Isotrop? Yeah, of course. Isotrop, I'm sure. You know what that is, Sean? Isotrop? No. You look through the slits and the horse runs.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay, Doug, you've been warring with comic people online. Oh, yeah, screw these people, yeah. Still? Still? No, I, this is the thing. I'm out of it.

Like I just don't, I don't participate in all that weirdo garbage because it's not my market and it's not my business, but they will not leave me alone. It's like they're just don't yeah Well, that's what I'm going through now and that's why I'm here because I tried to you know I you remember I called you the day I went down and and I said look you're an older dude. You're like a mentor give me some advice It's how you started the conversation. Oh, you're an older dude. He is Dad That's how you started the conversation. Oh, you're an older dude. He is You're almost dead. Yeah, you don't care. So you're

You got nothing left to live. Coronavirus. Listen to me old man. I'm a new up-and-comer. You're all done. Railing against washing hands for two minutes and listen to me. I played his games as a kid. Like, you know, to be a fuck-up conversation to be able to pick up the phone. Imagine dating me and that's what I do, like all the time constantly, okay, go, I'm sorry, my mom's. No, no, and he gave me the best advice.

He said, you know, this kind of stuff happens. If you go the legal way, it's crazy, like, you know, don't do anything, don't slander anyone, just try to like, you know, walk away. And that's what I did. And dude, these people will not, A, leave me alone, B, stop harassing me and C, this is really what bothers me,

is that they're posting the art online and trashing it and saying, look how bad this is blah, blah, blah, and I'm like, oh, well, it was great art when you made $46,000 selling it, of course. Yeah, how quickly that would be the mom turn. Now it's garbage. They go from like, this is the best beautiful stuff I've ever seen.

What do you talk to this guy, socks. We have to get him. Yeah, I never liked this. I'm all flabbering f**k. And Doug can vouch for me because I called him and he knows the artist that you can rewind a little bit though and explain who you're talking about, like who's posting your art and stuff like that.

Oh, all the orbiters and simps. So Martina has this. Okay, Martina. Martina has this small cadre of, I don't know what you want to call that. I already believe you because I use that word. And the big word I'm already in. Nice. And they are, essentially they're the biggest problems

because they create this echo chamber and this amplification and they just take everything at face value and they help amplify these lies and they're Trashing the art and she's retweeting the art and it's just like if this shit sucked so bad Yeah, if it's as bad as you say it is Why did you have no problem selling it for the better half of a year and making 46? geez So what happened Doug are you okay if we talk about this? Because Moz came in because I heard about this story, and I wanted him to come in and tell

him. I know that guy. I'm a big fan of Moz. His other art, his non-comic art. He's one of my favorite. Thank you. He's a radical, public, original artist doing what we're all real conservative artists should be doing, which is subversive and amazing.

And so I'm a big fan of his. I've had a couple conversations with Martina and I don't like getting involved in trashing other people, so I don't want to take a side on that, but I will take a side against the audience. Because if it was just Martina having a disagreement with her artist, this thing would be a non-issue. Right, so it's the crowds that are so stupid and we'll copy and paste everything and go after you on her behalf or on other people's behalf. No, that's what I've been up against for the last years. Once you touch an audience and it's like age, you can't get rid of it. Just blindly following. Yeah. Well, what happened? Okay, so let me, I mean, I want to talk to Doug about your,

your, your experiences with comics, Gate 2, because they're, like you've got, Doug, you got fucked over by, what is the guy's name who pulled out of drawing an alternative comic, an alternative cover for you for, was it Earthworm Jim too? Yeah, Sean Gordon Murphy, so he's another guy who, he and I are fine, but the audience just comes and just does a giant. Everyone lines up, my fans line up on my side, he is on his side, they're like Doug's dead to me, he's a homophob, and they're like Sean's dead to me, he's a coward. dead to me, he's a homophob and they're like, Sean's dead to me, he's a coward.

And that's kind of what we deal with now in cancel culture is everyone is participating in it. They're trying to, it used to just be, I'm not gonna buy that comic, I don't like it. Now it's like, everyone, I must alert you to the facts on the ground of what's been happening. And instead of making sure that I'm not talking about. I never once again. But yeah, Maritalker's. Let's make sure that the majority of us

are working again. But yeah, Maritown her, she's like, is the book good? Is it funny? Buy it. And then if they, but now it's like, what does the majority of us mean?

The majority of us, he was coined to me. Yeah, go ahead. It is now. It's not now. Someone must protect the words. Go ahead, Doug. I'm sorry. Yeah.

So intersectionality, intersectional politics says like like by things according to someone's race gender religion political feelings and so suddenly you will be pulled away from meritocracy you won't be looking at the merit of the work itself you attack projects and art and now I have my cover got changed because of a bunch of people who would never buy my book the LGBTQ activists Came after DC came after Sean everyone got scared we pulled the cover So we had it that good so Sean told they're not gonna buy the book It's all people didn't do buy my book my fans fans. Sean pulled the cover for, he pulled an alternate cover for Earthworm Jim too. Was that right? No, this was for Bigfoot Bill too.

Bigfoot Bill too. The book that I have up on Indiegogo, I repainted the cover myself and did my own version of it. Okay. And then Sean, what was his, what is the GM stand for? Gordon Murphy. He's the number one Batman artist in the world. So he's a big deal. Yes. He did this cover for me for free

and it was just gonna be a fun, great cover. And I'm a huge artist. And it's two artists coming together. It's like two legendary artists coming together for a one time event. One time only during. He's not only during a third-year gym fan like you, Dick. So he goes, how can I help with Bigfoot Bill?

I can do a cover. Well, when it came, the thing is he has another deal with DC. It's like a multi-million-dollar Batman deal where they're giving him his own label called the Murphyverse, where he can play with the Batman universe under his own label. And they're like, Doug just tweeted that homophob is a made-up word is what I tweeted. And so, it's a made-up. Yeah, well, it is a made-up word, but used to impune people with conservative values, so it makes us sound like we're mentally unstable. So I offered it to you. Let me pause you right there because you've just fed him out full.

You know what's fucking crazy about that specific claim that homophobies are made up for it? Yeah. I wrote, I shit you not, in high school. I wrote an article saying that literally the exact same thing that homophob is just a sentiment that people have coined to write you off, to excuse you of being afraid of. Well, there's lots of little definitions. It was like, I mean, it was like, it was like the very beginnings of cancel culture in high school at the time.

Like a couple of weirdos took it and said I was a a hate monger. It was a very stupid story, but it's just crazy that the same idea has been around for so long, well, we're bestering even then. Yeah, we have lots of words that you use to write because if you use certain words, you can write off an individual's all their viewpoints. Yeah.

It's just all I don't have to listen to you. You're a Zubai. Nothing because you're this. Nothing you say has merit. Well, it sounds like a clinical psychological term, but it's like, it would be like if I got all of culture to start saying and believing that those who reject Christ are Christ of foes, like it's not just like

you rejected it out of free choice or you do so great. It's your mental disorder. You have a fear in you, a predilection, some kind of a deep psychological problem with whether it is why you reject it, not because you don't think it's true. Right, right. It's the accusation that you have a deep psychological problem with it, Jesus Christ. That's what I went through. And now you see it on all these projects, including on this one, and great artists are attacked by just an illiterate following YouTube or Twitter mob. And I just

find if you don't respond, that's the best you can do. It's not a win because they still come after me for a year or so. Well, that's what I've been trying to do since November when the whole thing got hijacked. And I when I called Doug, he knows the artist that took over for me. And Doug can vouch for me. I said, hey, tell the guy, give him my blessing,

say good luck. And I wish you the best, right? Did I not say that? I told you I said that. And I have not been a gentleman and a real man. So let me rewind right? Go ahead. Here's what I Thank you

I did that too when Astereos came in and filled in for me on episode 77 I sent him a text like oh, we're all good. We're all but but it really in my mind I thought I hope you fucking choke I hope you get fucking logged and stabbed and right. Yeah, of course, because you want to be professional. Well, yeah. So in 2017, this person, this girl, Martina, reaches out to me and gives me the sob victim story about I've been marginalized, I've been kicked out,

I'm a victim, this and that, right? And I go, my God, this sounds terrible. Damn, so long distress. And I said, you know what? I Zillin distress and I said you know what I can help you out I was I was beautiful yeah Sean just to give you some context is what she was I was I was not the same oh man cuz that tiny ways that matters this is like the god yeah yeah yeah So I began by sort of art directing and helping manage her content

that had nothing to do with the comic, right? And it went so far as to when she got that job at Rebel Media, I had that's your type. Correct me if I'm wrong. She's hot. Oh yeah. I had written the, like her first 10 scripts at the Rebel, uncredited, right?

Helped her do her intros this and that. And Chris, my friend who's here in studio, he's in a, and he's staying off camera because he's a pretty screenwriter and he needs to keep it low profile. And he and I were working on a project together. And I love comics, I grew up on comics and video games. And I saw this comics gate thing bubbling up on the side,

right? And he and I had a story, and we wanted to do that. Meanwhile, I'm doing stuff for Martina, right? So I told Chris, I said, hey, I'm working with this girl. She has an audience. Why don't we put our thing to the side, do a story for her. I'll ask her if she wants to do this, right?

And the three of us can work together and create this like, you know, force, right? And he agreed, and I wasn't going to start that until he agreed to help go ahead. Yeah, we had 30 pages of a script we were working on on a project that was Maz of story. Back in mid 2017, this was long before I even heard of Martina. And it was about 30 pages in that you heard about the comics, I think, thing was like, let's just set it aside right now and let's get the comic out there. And so we started working on a story about that. And we must have worked on it for months. Like, do we come over to my house? I'd come over to his. We would sit down and just just shoot the shit and just kind of figure out.

So I have to go drink, see what happens. Yeah, maybe hop in the hot tub together. And you know, it's probably good to have him. I'm not putting you, you know, using labels on anything. Yeah, we not, We just couple of guys riding a comic. Right, the word homophobic will not be tossed around.

Yeah, exactly. No one was afraid. There's no lube involved. I'm not a homophobic, are you not? Prove it. Right, right, okay. So at that point, we kind of figured out, okay, what do we do to get this thing promoted?

And that was six or seven months into dealing with this project and actually starting to figure out, okay, so what do we want to do with this? And I was like, well, I've been working with this girl, let's figure out how to like get this out, we can use her as one of the characters in the story can get her to promote it. Right. And she can be the person who basically takes care

of all the marketing and all that stuff. So I pitched it to her, right? Let's do this, let's get on this comics gate thing. I'll help you. I'll write a script for your Rebel comics gate video to get this attention and we'll move all these pieces together, right? Right.

So to refute her first claim that it's her project completely untrue, I created the IndieGoGo claim that it's her project, completely untrue. I created the IndieGoGo. But what's her most serious claim? You always have to go with the most global warming people fucked. So what's the most serious claim that I took money and didn't deliver work. Right. She claims that I did 14 pages.

Right. I did 32 pages, which I can show you. And the comic was 40 pages. I was a damn near done. Right. And the truth of the matter is, and I was saving this, which I can show you. And the comic was 40 pages. I was a damn near done. And the truth of the matter is, and I was saving this, but let's just get to it. Yeah, yeah, always go with the answer. You know what everyone needs to know.

Yeah. The reason this project fell apart and she took the accounts and the emails and blocked us in like a thief in the night is because she spent all the fucking money behind our backs. Right. If you go online and you look, she'll say, because we copyright strike the account and

her websites because she was still selling merchandise that was my artwork. Right. And when she emailed me and said, I'm not, I don't want you here anymore. The first email I wrote her was, this is crazy, but if that's what you want to do, it's fine. You can keep selling the art and the merch and posters. I don't care. I even offer to pay her back some of the money because I didn't want the whole work.

Did you get any money? I got, she was saying that I got 10 Gs. I only got $4,250. Four, 30 pages of artwork, two posters, two t-shirts, right? All these things that together generated upwards of 45, 46 years, right? And here's the best part. Every piece of merchandise, t-shirt, poster, sticker, right?

Because Galt, from the faction, made those posters for us, right? Cause Galt from the faction made those posters for us, right? I hand packed and shipped all of that stuff from my place in LA. Right. She did nothing, literally zero work. All she did was start shit with other girls online. Go, she would, she would go on, I mean, that is all they do.

I know the tricks on all they do is start shit. Thank you. Thank you. In October of last year when she was on Ethan Van Skiver's Comics Gait Show, she's frantically Skyping me while she's live, saying, what is this story about? They're gonna ask me about the story. What should I tell him?

Granted, she has had script in her hand for the better half of a year. We would send her script after script, update after update, and she would not read any of it. And go on these shows to promote without any idea of what the product was or what the project was. But two things that I want everyone to know.

We have the same accountant because I provided her with accounting because our money was convoluted. Oh man, that's always get the money. I know. And here's what happens. same accountant because I provided her with accounting because our money was convoluted. Oh, man. That's always get the money. I know. And here's what happens. You have the money. You know, here are the three things that I need everyone to know.

One, and she doesn't know that I know this, but we have the same accountant. One, she claimed a large portion of the comic book money as her income, so she could leverage that into a visa for her husband Who's overseas and and she paid a ridiculous amount of taxes on it. That's reason one why there's no money left Reason two Both her and her husband were fired from the rebel and have not worked in what's the rebel for people who don't know Rebel they have not worked in a year. What is that for people who don't know? Rebel is a concerto slightly right winged like a nice job. Right.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Well, I was that funny. Well, I mean, it's not right wing enough of it. Or anyways, so she has not right wing, you know, these people are not working. So where's their Nazi flags have a creases in them? She has not. Tidy right away, you know. These people are not working so. They're Nazi flags have a creases in them.

They just rip them out of the bag. Yeah. They have not, okay, so where are they getting their income? How are they moving? How are they going on these vacations and honeymoon that are heavily promoted on their social media? Yeah, you're talking about Martinez. Yes, exactly.

When we would have story meetings, we would try to Skype her in. And she would just get on there and start blabbering about how she was getting attacked by this girl, that girl, what the situation was happening. And we were like, we need to talk about what's going on in the story. And we'd sit there on the phone with her for an hour

and we'd never even get to it. Yeah, you're talking about the show. We're talking about the business. Yeah. Yeah. And so the, you know. I think I have a clue, I have kind of a picture of what's happening. Sean, do you, like I just want to try to explain it

to me as well as following along. Yeah, I have a, yeah. It sucks to hear that your art is now used against you. I sent her an email and I don't know if she blocked me or read it or ignored me and I said, look, amicably low key. Let's not trash each other. I don't want to go down this road, right? And they, I don't know, she couldn't help herself. Like, I'm forced to do this. Yeah, I sent her several really long emails just saying, hey, let's just amicably put this apart. Just make sure that we, we've separated all the assets here so that there's no issues down the road.

And just get it so it's a clean break. Like you can have whatever you want. I mean, I don't want to sound like I'm big leaking anybody, but $4,000, like for this kind of talent that you have access to, for the amount of talent that you're bringing to the table. It just seems like- The last thing was my idea. Yeah. I never took a dime before this.

I never got a dime before this. I never got a dime Yeah, he wrote an incredible story that she's trashing and I still don't think she's actually I wrote a hundred page script And it was a little bit too detailed for the whole thing It was just it wasn't for our comic book as I'm a screenwriter, right? And so I started to do panels for it and I started to give those to Maz as I was doing it just basically like Pages of like this is girls on panel one, this goes on panel two, this is what's, you know, all on page one. And it was a little, that was also tomb detail oriented.

And so I did, which just sort of sketched like a rough blueprint that he and I could riff on, so that he had some sort of guidance as far as things. And that's what I gave him, Martina. I said, this is what we're sort of using as far as anything. If you have any ideas of anything, as we're going, just throw your ideas into the pool. She never read it.

She never read it, but I only ended up getting from her five notes. And one of them was, I would never part my hair in that direction. Okay, no, you gotta hear this. You gotta hear this. This all makes perfect sense. You gotta hear this.

You gotta hear this. The other one that, Mazgot, that I never got this one, but Mazgot, this one was, my fish nets wouldn't have that shape. The gauge on the fish nets was too big. She is. Yeah. The only thing that she cares about is how she looks for sounds. Well, that's like artistic.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're 100% right? The only thing that matters. Wouldn't share all the art I would send her because she would only share art that had drawings of her. So I'd send her page after page, right? And then she'd be, she would even crop like a panel that just had her in it. Like, I don't know if she expected like a book

that every page was just pictures of her. Yes, yes, that. I guess I'm stupid. I don't know. I mean, that's not, we tried to make a real story. I'll never guess Yes, well the one of the biggest complaints that she's had was This is a lady Alchemy comic book and lady Alchemy doesn't show up until like page 13 or whatever it was and the truth of the matter Was lady Alchemy shows up on page four, but that's not she sort of excuses that panel on on every single time she posts this

But looks guy walking in show up until almost 17 minutes into the movie. So you're setting up things where you have to set up the backstory of this and what she didn't seem to grasp, even though I told her about this over and over, was this is the first book of 10. We're going to do 10 books. They're going to evolve with this, but we need to set an origin story of you. And we need to set an origin story of you. And we need to set an origin story of what this character is.

And you haven't given me any notes as far as anything about who you are. All you've told me was you were a burlesque dancer in New York and because you were a Trump supporter, they outcast you. And you said, that was a magic blood and you've been on a billboard. And that came as a note. And no, but I mean,

it's like seeing the same story played out over and over again. Somebody who has no talents themselves. Somebody who looks into exposure, takes a relationship with people who are actually creative and who can monetize drives it into the fun to show. I have something to add to that. But, you know, she, the note that her contributions were like, I would change her part of her hair. Well, if I had to go, I took an ad in.

If I went back and made everything anatomically correct, I'd have to add 30 pounds to every page. I like it. I spent a lot of fucking time on Photoshop, I wish and shit together for her. Like, you know, what you see is not what you get. No, you know, never an see is not what you get. No, you know, different identity crisis.

So, but, but let me tell you something. Alchemy, that's the Alchemy part. Another dude, right? Right. Fat into air. Oh my God. Better than converting leadens gold. Right.

Fat into air. That's my name. Gargamel. Yeah. So check this out. There was the Dr. Phil Lossifers stone. Very good. Thank you. There was a, a grouper back in the day.

Right. He made this magazine cover that had her face on it and he had some talent. So I said, this is all on Twitter. I said to him, I said, hey, this is pretty fucking good, bro. Let's make this thing. And so we start talking. And then together we build up this art magazine, right? And it was another thing where she was just lucky enough to be around us. And we were like, yeah, okay, we'll get you in there. We'll add you to this thing. And I just, if you go look at your DMs, I just got this 10 minutes ago on Twitter. There's an article about the story of what she did

with this magazine where she at the last minute stole the thing, said the whole thing was hers. Like, she did it all but her. Yeah, I'm gonna send her the link right now so she can call in. I just wanna make sure she has it. Is she asking to call in? No.

She said she would, but then, yeah, here we go. They always call in. We're talking about it right now. This is gonna get heated. I just want this to just peacefully go away and just for her to go and do her project and we wanna be supportive of it. That's what I want. That's what I want.

You know, the copyright strikes on her campaign and on her websites, we're lifting those. She can have those back, that was a slap on the wrist. We just wanted to be left alone. Okay, what did you want me to look for? Go, if you look up, there's a message for me right there. And if you click on that, the article, and you can show, can you show that?

Dude, this is an article about what she did with the magazine and it's an identical scam that she pulled with me and the comic. When simping goes wrong, simps create demons. I see what you mean about the photoshopping. This is, this is on her. If you go and read this article, it's the same exact thing that she did to me. So what is the common denominator here?

Yeah, right? Clearly two false articles. So fake news is the Doug, what do you think about this, man? You're a veteran. Yeah, I know. I'll tell you one thing that I saw right away and this is something that I thought all the way back when I first saw the notes coming out from Martina and you know I'm like these guys I really think this stuff should have been kept private. That's what we wanted and that's what we were doing and all these guys want to do is be left alone. I agree and that's what

I would counsel Martina if she calls in to say is, sorry, it's really unprofessional to go after your artists and public, your team members and public when you're the face of the project. It's you, you, you project that leadership in an iPad to people burn me, who are in comics gate. And I could have won all these points by going against comics gate and outing them. And I just take personal responsibility. I'm sorry this is late for this. And you cover that person up, you go with,

and that's something that's personal responsibility, something I see missing in crowdfunding where the boss or the leader of the project never goes out and says, I did this and I'm sorry. It's always, they blame someone subordinate down the line as if there is control of the whole project. I think that's really unprofessional. Yeah, after two years of doing all of this shit for her, supporting her, helping her make all this money. To get that a knife in the back like that, all because she secretly spent all the money and didn't have the

guts to tell everyone, that's what it comes down to. If you go on her Twitter, she says, and we're not gonna be able to find it, but she'll say, I need the account back so I can get money to print the book. Printing 800 copies of a comic might cost you three, four grand at most.

What, and you gave me four grand, and let's say we spent another six on shipping and merch. And then first off, you fucked up with the tax fraud. Where's the rest of the money? No, anything about that. Where is the rest of the money? Where's the money, LeBots? Where's the rest of the money?

Yeah. How do you not have enough left to print your books? Where did it go? Were you planning on giving me the rest of my share or paying Chris for what he did? And she kept emailing me saying, oh, we're going to get you some money. And it was like, well, if you want to send me some money, you can just giving me the rest of my share or paying Chris for what he did? And she kept emailing me saying, oh, we're gonna get you some money and it was like, well, if you wanna send me some money, you can just send me some money.

Who's we? Right. Yeah, you have the money. What do you mean we? You've got the money. Exactly. Give me the fuck a money. Yeah.

Well, I sent her multiple messages. I'll see. Does that mean, can you tell if it gets red? Is it two checks if it gets red? By the other side? You're looking at me like I fucking would know. Twitter before. Maaz, is the campaign under your name or? Yes, I made the campaign from my email, my IP address, my pro time mail. And then you also set up the banking information. Wouldn't the banking information? The back, after I built the campaign and put everything up, she was like,

I'm really worried that you're gonna steal this from me. I'm insecure, I don't have a part in this. I need something and I said, you know what? She can take care of it. That's a bad sign. No shit. Yeah. Dude, the whole time, eight months in.

Because those are the people who are gonna do it. She's all she said was like, we're gonna fail. This is gonna fail. We're gonna fail. And I gonna fail. We're gonna fail. And I'm in the middle of this thing trying to keep it all together. So we gave her, I was like, you know what, I trust you. You take the finances, you do this, a big fucking mistake.

Yeah, sure. Never give the stripper the money. Well, she was supposed to be the one who was handling the marketing and the shipping of everything, but she was stuck in London. So I had to not only pencil, ink, color, letter, co-write a story and pack and ship every fucking t-shirt poster. That, just the shipping, that's worth $4,000.

It's outrageous. So don't forget the fact that this was the first complaint he had about the money situation. Holy shit. He was like, why can't we just put these in plastic bags and ship them to people? It would cost us like 75 cents. It's gotta be big. It's gotta be big.

It's gotta be a little bit of a crime. It's gotta be big. It's gotta be big. It's gotta be big. It's gotta be big. It's gotta be big. It's gotta be big. It's gotta be big.

It's gotta be big. It's gotta be big. It's gotta be big. It's gotta be big. It's gotta be big. It's gotta be big. It's gotta be big. It's gotta be big. It's gotta be big. It's gotta be big. It's gotta be big. It's gotta be big. special thing. Uh-huh. So now we have this merchandise, right? And she doesn't know that I'm C.C.D. on everything.

And I see these receipts from Uline. And it's just like 600, 500, 800. And all these boxes and tissue paper and all this, God. Every shirt had to be fucking folded like this, tucked in a plastic bag. Folding shirts. Wrap in tissue paper, put in this box

that I had to construct, closed, sealed off. She had this alchemical sigil stamp. She wanted me to hand stamp every foot like God. Dude, we were losing money hand over the back, seal, and on shipping. And did you have to put lipstick on and give it a kiss? Like a lady out in a picture.

Yes, I did. And I sprayed a little perfume in there. No, look. And then she has the audacity to go online and blame me for the cost of the shipping. I said, bro, let's put these things in plastic vans bags and just throw them into the mailbox. Wrap them into other papers.

People are gonna need it. Yeah. That's right. Well, there's so much we could go on forever. I'm trying to figure out exactly who she is and what discernible talent she possesses. Well, did you see her? That's, that's it. Okay. That's what I thought. What do you think it takes? That's what I thought. How did she get the, how did she get

known at all, just putting pictures up of herself and talking? If you go look at her history, it's just a series of piggybacking from, from different like like from from one scene to another and doing exactly what she did to me. She did it to the magazine guy. I pretty sure she did it to the people she used to work with before and I'd like I hope she doesn't do it to Matt Weldon, the guy who's drawing the new comic. That's why when when this all happened, and I call Doug, I said, wish him luck, tell him, give him my best. Good luck, bro.

It's a really nice guy. Yeah. Really good guy. Yeah, everything I've heard about him, he just sounds like a really cool dude. It hurts me in my stomach to hear about nice guys getting thrown in front of, you know, something,

simping, orbiting, and being a pay pig is the crime of our generation. Yeah, it really is. I'm gonna go, I wanna take a brief pause and go to the bathroom. I wanna give her a moment to see if she reads this email, reads this message to call in,

because she's usually pretty on the ball about getting these. Doug, I appreciate you hanging on there too. Oh, my pleasure. Hey, did you ever talk to who's Jim Lee? I did not. I emailed him finding that on that one. That was me. I think I mean, yeah, yeah, but it seems obvious that he would have talked to that to Sean. That's what I thought it was pretty clear in the way that Sean had sent me the message like I was talking to Jim Lee last night.

And your campaign, that cover could really bring me some trouble. So I assume, given those sentences we're put together, that Jim Lee was talking to him about my cover giving him trouble. But as I read it in hindsight, so I go after Jim Lee, I'm like, Jim Lee, did you not talk to Sean Gordon Murphy last night? Like, Doug, I don't know what you're talking about. I think that's, I think that's so easy though. I know. I saw you do that. I think it's so easily, though, because the guy doesn't say like you should absolutely do the alternate cover for Bigfoot Bill too.

Yeah, that's what I was trying to get out of it. If you're, but he didn't have an obligation to answer me, I went after him, I went after his throat, and then Sean Gordon Murphy pulled you know, on a side said no, that wasn't the conversation, the conversation was about something else. And then in addition to that other conversation, I'm personally worried about that cover. So he separated them out. And then I realized it made sense of Jim Lee's response. Because Jim Lee, he would have, if he did bring me up, he was known that he brought me up. And what I mean, and he'd have known that my coming after him hard, like he'd been caught. So I owed him an apology, so I apologize to him in public because I slammed him in public. I said, I'm sorry, I stepped out of bounds and I apologize for accusing you of that.

I saw that. I still do think that, well, I hold it against people, that they don't come out in situations like that and just say, you know what? I absolutely think you should fucking absolutely do that alternative cover. I'm a 100% in support of artists sharing art with other creators, even if they happen to aggressively believe in God and think that gay people, whatever, are literally going to hell and also love that one. I didn't say that. I mean, isn't that what the Christian faith is like technically about though? Well, no, the only thing that I've said in public

is the marriages between one man and one woman. Right. And specifically, I said that homophobia is a made-up word made to impure the character of conservatives. That's more like that specifically is what I've said. And so they would believe that I've said so much more stuff that implies some kind of bizarre obsession or hatred. I'm just a normal guy. I just said, no, my values are that marriage is between one man and one woman. Right.

And culture can say everything it can. I don't have an obligation to believe that or speak that. And that's too much for them. That's where you just get lynched. The dogma is such that gay people are going to hell though, right? Am I wrong in that? Is that part of the Christian faith? No, I don't know.

That's not by necessity part of the Christian faith, because I know a lot of Gays and Lesbians at my church who are not practicing. So it's the act that the Bible stands against. It's not whatever you claim you are. So as long as you're gay and not fucking guys, you're not going to hell, isn't that right? Huh. It would be no different than having the proclivity to lie,

but not lying. You don't get judged having the proclivity to lie, but not lying. You don't get judged for the proclivity to lie. You get judged if you actively lie. Wow. So you know guys who are, they say they're gay, but they're not doing gay stuff because they want to live. That's right. And you encourage that.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, it's not different then. It's not different than all Guys right are predisposed to have affairs to have to fucking true to What's the difference between me not fucking every girl? I see then a guy not fucking guys What's the difference

We don't want to do you do get to fuck one person that means nothing to me We don't want to do you do get to fuck one person. That means nothing to me I get to fuck himself by jerking off so what I got a fuck one broad But he can fuck out as many other guys as he wants who knows more what he likes than him Yeah, the The other day experience I got a train this bitch to know what I like right you fucked me again God The same the same the Bible has the same And I win hard core and with that kind of fury yes, oh man that would feel good I could sleep at night if I could just stand at that podium and bam, bam, bam, bam.

Oh, anyway, see you actually know guys who are doing this with their lives, Doug. Oh yeah, yeah. That's shocking. I know so a bit of Gays, yeah. What do they like? They're good, they're good guys. A great, I don't know they're good guys, but we're kind of,

it's like you might, you know, you might be a married man and you'd look at a woman You know on the sidewalk and go, oh man, I got to I got to be careful with my mind on that one I mean my baby my gay buddy. I drive by a fundraiser Car wash where a bunch of football players were washing car or they're shirt off and you would get all tense and go like, oh It was hard for them. That's the gags. I love a straight man's description of the gags experience. Like, oh, I was going, I went by a shirtless car wash and all these average, I went by an Abercrombie in Fitch store and there was an oil spill, a baby oil spill outside.

I couldn't contain much. He saw it all in slow motion. Okay, I'll be right back. I He saw it all in slow motion. Okay, I'll be right back. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm in Martina. Maybe she won't respond, but. He's trying to paper. Stupid news, telling you to sell your 401Ks. You gotta liquidate your 401.

Who the fuck is selling their stocks? I don't know. Who is driving this crash? Dude, Bitcoin took a shit. You know what's fucking crazy? Okay, so I saw Scott at all, because I said news. Yeah, here's, no, this is what. You know what's fucking crazy? Okay, so I saw Scott All cuz I said news. Yeah, here's no this is what Doug. This is what the fuck Doug. Do you have any bitcoins? No? Yeah, I do have stocks though. I do have stocks who is selling their stocks?

This is when you buy suckers. This is when you buy I mean down You grab you grab the knife at every you throw a knife down the stairs and you try to grab it on every step is that your investment strategy by all the way down with the downed on the way up is where you sell by on the way down who is selling their fucking stocks like this is so so the this is the this is the weird is this is the most boomer's tweet I've ever seen. Scott Adams, who is never wrong, the creator of Dilbert, he says that Bitcoin is fucked

because it's value went and dropped by half or something like that. He's like, well, Bitcoin's value dropped by half. So it's obviously not a store of value. And I'm like, motherfucker, the stock market dropped by 30% and you have the entire nation's GDP dedicated to printing money to artificially inflated and it almost dropped as much as a math equation. Are you fucking retarded? You're gonna put Bitcoin up against the fucking stock market and say

that it didn't fare well against it. It's imaginary money that retained most of its value during a pandemic. That is fucking bulletproof. If you're not- Well, and if Bitcoin's down, that's when you buy it. When it's down. Yeah, totally. Doug, we've kept you for way too long.

I really appreciate your insight into this Martina thing as a veteran. I mean, you've probably got like, you've probably got screw job stories that, I mean, you've probably forgotten about getting screwed out of things. Yeah, I've forgotten more screw job stories than other people have been screwed.

Yeah. But back, Bigfoot Bill 2, it helps my business. I'll make a great book. It's hard mound. It comes in a beautiful shipping box. You've seen the earthworm gym bus seven dollar boxes. No, they look great. They're beautiful. Hey, thanks for having me on. Take any time. What is the before you go? What's the biggest screw? What's the biggest screw job you've ever been? It's ever been perpetrated on you? Like, it could be, it could be coming up right now. I've got Bigfoot built too and a Hollywood movie. I hope a movie studio is trying to,

is talking about the rights and really is, is Google my name and that'll go quite pretty quick. I was gonna say we should probably delete his segment of the podcast, yeah. No, no. But it's, you can't, no one can hurt me anymore. going to say we should probably delete his segment of the podcast. Yeah. But you can't, uh, no one can hurt me anymore. I'm made of scar tissue. I'm fine.

There you go. We got a lot of like a guys who can't be, we got a lot of guys who can't be hurt on the show today. Ralph is threatening platforms. Nothing can stop me. We've got Doug, who's a little more subtle, but he's still kind of saying the same thing. Yeah. Uh, it's scar little more subtle, but he's still kind of saying the same thing. Yeah.

I'm all scarch issue now. I just sit here in the kind of laugh at everyone. I'm waiting for Indigo to de-platform me, or Kickstarter to de-platform me any day. So, it's been a little bit of a buzz. They both played cool. I've been on Kickstarter. I raised $79 grand on the Earthworm Gym campaign

in Bigfoot, built to, is now like over 90 grand. So, is it worth it? So they keep letting me do it. They're not technically, they're not canning me. So God bless them. Well, see, do I have a plan for you? Yeah, we'll get them. I'm not God, but I got a pretty good plan.

Well, I'm gonna jump. Hey, you guys, you guys stay safe. Later, guys. Stay safe and have fun, guys. Thanks, Zach. Thanks, Zach guys, you guys stay safe and have fun guys. Thanks, Jack. Thanks. Thank you. Yeah. I'll see you guys. Nice. So where does that leave everything? Yeah. What are you doing? What's what's the future?

Martin is not she hasn't responded to me. I assume she's not. I just wanted to stop. Right. So she's misappropriated funds. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I heard her people who are coming after 50 grand, that's not for nothing. It's not for nothing. It's not for nothing. Yeah, the problem has been that the attorneys are like, this isn't enough money for us to take a case like this. Which is maddening because it's real money.

It's real money, but it's not the fuck you money they're looking for. Yeah, but here's the thing. You are, if you fuck up, you will fuck up $50,000. I know. Like that's on you. Yeah. Once you fuck up in the $200,000, $200,000, that's a matter of law. Like you might not have been able to see that coming.

If you fuck up and it costs you less than $50,000, that's fucking on you, man. You probably kind of knew before you fucked that up. That's really only because of the cost of lawyers and everything. That's the system, right? I mean, I get what you mean. I get what you mean. I mean, what do you want other people

to have fixed what you should have known? Like, I know that I'm Mr. Victim Blaming, but that is just the, there is no amount of industry that can come together to unwind that. I guess that's what I'm saying. Yeah, fuck up under 50K, that's on you. Just in hours, in hours, the amount of hours. Well, I know that's what I mean, right.

It comes into what things cost. The lawyers that are helping us are doing everything for free. They've been basically just tracking her accounts, screenshotting everything, seeing what she's saying and just basically compiling a list of evidence that if we needed to do something we would. We just wanted to stop. I'm willing to go into negative just to get the thing to go away so it'll just stop and be clean because I want our project that we're gonna move forward with,

that we've already rewritten. So what's your project? That's what I wanted now. Well, we're just gonna go back to our original story, which is taking her out of the thing we shoehorned her into, and just fucking draw on that. What's your original story? What's called?

What's the title? The new title is Dark World. Dark World. Okay. It is basically now, it's about a supermodel, who's mother runs sort of a condenast organization who she's trying to bring into the organization and the daughter wants to be a supermodel. And Heather S. Yes, right. And it turns out that there are demons and a dark world essentially. Oh I see okay where

the sort of imprints of the past are still there. So the character that they're complaining that he was is basically sort of a sage that comes back from the, is it magi? Magi? Magi. Magi. Magi. Which is basically some priests from long ago. Right. And what he's doing is he's able to see into this world. And he's able to go in and basically see who is an angel and who's a demon. Most everybody's a demon. Most everybody has demons, most everybody's negative, most everybody's trying to do things that aren't beneficial to them or they don't. And the goal is- The whole information voters voting for Biden for example. Most of the people have to-

Dark world. The people who actually become themselves, the people who become the successes that you see have merged with their doppelganger in the demon in the in the dark world. All right. And so when he sees the supermodels, I did it last night. You're it is starting to come back. I just make a lot of sense to everybody else or what? When he sees the angel that the supermodel is. His goal is to basically get her to merge before the mother takes her doppelganger. Okay.

Merge like but bound. Merge worth her positive angelic soul. Two chicks. Yeah. Same time. Love. So into this comic. Yeah.

I mean, essentially, it's an excuse for me to draw what I like to draw, which is like psychedelic, goth, noir, horror shit with big, titted babes. How big would we talk about? Big enough. Big enough? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like good. Not big enough for Hattles, yeah. Battle chasers, Joe Madurriere.

No, no, no, because I'm going to have that. My strength in drawing is really composition. Okay. And so I need balance. He's an artist. If I have huge titties, it just throws the weight off in the whole panel. Okay, and so I need a artist. If I have huge titties, it just throws the weight off in the whole panel. So, you know, so...

And Sean, it's huge tits right here, right now. That's nice. That's nice. So, you know, well, you know, that's something that we want to get to, but I need this shit to stop. Like, she's got to stop. Her orbiter has to stop. Nah, man, keep it going.

It's good for business. It's good for business. You know how long it's good for business. You know how many punches I put. I have so much ammunition and you gotta start throwing punches. No. You gotta get your fucking face out there. This is business man. I want to spare her. No. This is people are people you turn into money. You feed them to a mid-line. Yeah, you gotta live your art. Yeah, sounds good.

You gotta live your fucking art. Give me the dagger, I'll fucking do it. What else you got? You gotta take your life, I see that. I made this bad. I'm serious, I'm dead serious about that. I know you are in sitting back and kind of watching all of this kind of stuff unfold, I think you're right. Yeah, because like turning the other cheek, it just never seems to work.

You just keep getting, because they don't lose interest as quickly as you would think they would. There's no separation between art and the artist. You see right? Well, call in, shit faced, hung over. Yeah. But he's dragging people across the internet to see what he's doing. She ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran wild, she ran like, let's just get this put away. Yeah, well, it's time to fight back, I guess. Yes, and it made this hat for this show. Let me see, a e-girl, no e-girls, Sean, you see that? Yeah, let me. This shirt I made myself that proves that I can make and

merge quickly. So it's like a, you know, tumblr, Pinterest, goth chick. Yeah, burning at the stage. Getting burned at the stake by these old badass pilgrims and it says, times have changed. Times have changed. But the game remains the same. That's great.

That's great. That's great. That's great. Which is my signature line, right? And I snuck that into several of the rebel media scripts that I wrote on the screen. Did you bring me one of those shirts? Yeah, no, I brought you that one.

If you want me to hold it up, I don't know which camera's on right now. They're all on. Perfect. All right. I brought you that one. Cut the power lines, the unibomber, with a Snapchat filter.

With a Snapchat filter. Like a dog on there. It's the Snapchat filter. Yeah. Cut the power lines. That's power lines. That's my political philosophy at this point Just cut the fucking power lines and then the other one right

Is a girl getting shot in the head through her phone Which to that is fucking cool. And, and if you like these, you can buy them and more on our store that I just put up because you told me, you remember we had coffee together and I told you the story, you said, come on the home of the phobia.

The home of the phobia is not. If you think of anything, home of the phobia, that's, get it out of your mind. We don't use that word. Man, I've been in entertainment industry. I know I get in coffee. And he said, how are you doing? And I said, man, there's this bullshit going on. You said, come on the show and talk about it. And what I say is, I said, no, I've been in entertainment industry. I know I get caught. And he said, how are you doing? And I said, oh man, there's a bullshit going on.

You said, come on the show and talk about it. And what I say, I said, no, I don't know. I don't want to do that. And then you told me, okay, but if you do, come with something to sell. Always. And that was like, what, two weeks ago? And here I am, and this is what I brought.

So, what's the site? What's the site? I sent you a link. Okay. See, sometimes people will have the site ready to go when I say, what's the site? It's right, it's there. Well, what's the site? I sent you a link. Okay. See sometimes people will have the site ready to go when I say what's the site? It's right. It's it's there. Well, what's the fucking name? He didn't want to have to come on and do this store.virtual dome

Virgil dome now come okay. Thank you, ma'am And thank you Christopher coming on of course. Thanks for having us. It's happening guys It's not to have your like a guardian angel to me right now I appreciate it. No homo on that one either, but. Well, I didn't think there was until you said that there was. There was a little bit of an implication of homo. We're just looking forward to moving on.

And hopefully she has success with her projects. And she's able to move on and just put the thing behind her so that we can all just be happy and do our own things separate from each other. Me too. I've been trying to move on for Maddox for so long. I just try to have this funeral to put it to bed. Yeah. Well, that's it. Yeah. I think these guys actually want to move on to. I want to do it. You want even day you need closure. I need you need

closure. I need closure. Yeah. I need closure. Yeah. Um, right. Yeah. You know, he's a man. You know, I need with you. Should just be followed by an ellipses, you know, he's a man. You know, I need with you should just be followed by an ellipses, you know, whatever the day is like I need, I need you over here. I need to make money. I need you. When you said you, I wouldn't even know. I pictured a woman, but not specifically. Whatever.

Okay. What else do I got here? Broken Path Pied by Talks about that. The bottle game. The bottle game is the... I made my girlfriend do it. Did she do it? Did she win? She got it mostly right.

The gravity, the line was at the right level, but somehow there was more water as a good game in her bottle. So this is a, I have homework for guys to assign their girlfriends or wives. One of them was ask your girlfriend, do you have a wife? You married? X-wife. X-wife.

Do you have a girlfriend? No. Any woman in your life, it's better with a wife or girlfriend because you really want to have that over them for the rest of their lives. Ask them when the following five wars happen, the Revolutionary War, the Civil War, World War I, World War II, and Vietnam. You probably... And just, but, you know, roughly, you can be, get the decade right, if you're an example. I will ask you, did it, Revolutionary War? 1776? Well, that's exactly right. So we're off to a good start. Civil War 1860. Yeah, we're gonna take a row one. 1917 1770. Yeah, yeah, yeah. World War Two. 36 through 45. Yep. Vietnam.

I was 16. I throw you 64 through 75. Yeah, okay. So he's okay. So let me see if I let me see if I can pull up. Yeah, an example of the answers that we get to that game. Can you play some Jeopardy music while I'm looking for this, Sean? No. So this is... 16th century. Yeah, that's a good one. One example of the answers that we get from women around America.

This is... Revolutionary War, 1820s, Civil War, 16th century. So if the 1500s, we had a... Well, we don't know if we only know the words 16th century, technically we have no idea what she meant by that. Oh, what she meant. That's what you project on to that. Yeah, it's very because I know that, right. She could have meant 1825.

We don't know. World War One, 1850s, World War Two, 1900 and onward. That's the kicker. Yep. Vietnam, 1950s. So I'm seeing a blocking thing here, but just like it's like a block of time. Yeah, not sort of any logic to it. Just emotional blocks. Yeah Here is here's the test that I that I proposed after this one is to tell your your mom wife or girlfriend to draw where the water line is supposed to be

In this second jug. You see we have one jug over here, draw it over here, right? Oh, so you're drawing it with your hand without hesitation. Yeah. I gave it to my six year old nephew. He immediately without even pausing. Didn't even look. Drew it on the this is what we get back. Do they not understand gravity? They're not sure about it. Your guess is as good as ours. We, you know, I think we've let some, we've made some assumptions about dealing with the female that were perhaps an error. So that such that we've missed this.

Let me try to find a way. Well, I kind of understand it from the point of view of like, I'm turning it sideways, so the water's gonna go sideways, but that's not how water works. Well, you know that and children know that. Male children. Male children know that. Here's some of the ones we get back. There's a good one, it's a nice little curve to it.

That one's at least in motion. Yeah, true, true, true. Some of these, if it was honey, I would understand. Maple syrup. Just something slow moving, molasses. With confidence. Yeah, no hesitation there. She went, and sent that right back. She said,

oh, he's clearly asking me to just draw an identical. Yeah, that's, uh, that's dumb. Yeah. It's not people in a car that's rolling, you know, right. It's like people strapped in like, fuck. Let's see if I got any more. Here we go. Well, the double fail is the guys were posting their wives getting it right and saying, well, she nailed it. It's like, yeah, the fucking child should nail that. Why are you proud?

It's right. Yeah. Oh, this is a good one. What, that doesn't even make any sense on an emotional level. No, you're right. What else do we got here? any sense on an emotional level. No. You're right. Mm-hmm. What else do we got here?

Yeah, same one. Yeah. You get the idea. The explanations are the best too. Someone said because they put a cap on it, because there's air pressure that I would do. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, I see. Oh, sorry.

How does air stop gravity? You know, the people who bounced after they landed from parachuting and their parachute didn't open. You'd like to know that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. What are we gonna do about these brats? Well, don't give many jars of water.

Well, yeah, don't involve them in any comics. Oh, good, yeah. Yeah, that's on you. Dude, did you learn a lesson from all this? Big time. What's the lesson? Don't trust the stripper with the money. Have contracts.

This was the lesson I learned from this, and this is the thing, this was one of the things I would like to actually say. Okay. I have a voice that means you're serious, and I should listen to it. He's very serious. I never met Martina in my life.

I've only spoken to her over Skype over emails many times over the last couple of years. I have worked in this industry for 30 years. If I'm going to be on a project with somebody I don't know, I'm gonna have a contract, I'm gonna give her my quote. I'm gonna tell her exactly what it is, and it's gonna be done up front. I did this with Moz because Moz is my friend.

So it was a favor as far as how I was approaching. I was like a dick totally. I was doing this as a favor and not, and just sort of staying out of the money part of it and just saying, listen, I'll take them, whatever cut is there when the book is released and everything's taken, taken care of and paid. Yeah.

I don't need anything right now. Don't worry about it. She claimed in her counter claim that I had nothing to do with the project and she had no idea who I was under perjury. Yeah. Like a, this is, I'm not perjuring myself. This is the honest to God's truth. So it's just one of those things you sort of look at and you're just like, people are

very gullible to believe her without asking questions, which is what we were talking about earlier is like, just ask questions first. Simps. That's my rage. Yeah. Just question things. But you wanted the Simps money. I mean, to be fair, you're gonna give them a good.

I wanted to take the piss out of the comic book industry with the rest of the comics, guys, but that whole scene has shit all over itself, but that's another conversation. Yeah, that is. I wanted to talk to talk about that too, but. You should because it's insane what they did to them, you know? Yeah. It's it's the what they did to them, you know. Yeah. It's, it's, it's, the tripping over themselves and say how much they love like gay people.

Did. Like yeah, everyone, let's go. You can get the whole, I mean, everyone loves and hates gay people just like everybody else. They, people are at the store buying 20 rolls of toilet, buying 20 packs of toilet paper too. They had a profit that was tantamount to what Marvel and DC lost in that same year.

Yeah. They were powerful and they fucked that up. And I think they fucked it up because the forum with the fans and the superchats and everyone getting an opinion and everyone and rumor mills and all this stuff, it's just too fucking crazy. Yeah. You know, it's addicting to be an asshole. It's addicting to embarrass yourself online.

I mean, it's the same reason why we got so many thoughts. It's like, yeah, it's addicting to just whore yourself out for guys to make a jackass of yourself. Yeah. It's hard to keep it going. All right. It's been a very long episode overview. What are you saying? It's a good episode. Thank you. Thank you. It's a been a very long episode. What do you think? What do you think?

Good episode. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. It's a Joe Rogan link episode. It is a Joe Rogan link episode. Hey, Dictus from Adam Bergenstock. Hey, Dict, my wife passed all of your tests.

She aced the war game, slammed the planets. Oh, yeah. Here's another one. Okay. Ask your mom, wife, a girlfriend to name all the planets. Yeah. In order, not even. Okay. She can knock them all.

Sure. See what number from the sun she thinks Earth is. Yeah. Start there. Okay. And see what else you can come up with. Has a zero problem drawing the water level, always bragging about being a teacher and she easily knows all this stuff.

Just this morning, however, I finally discovered a chink in her armor. You see, I recently purchased a sous vide circulator and just explaining how it works. She did have some legit questions that one would expect. However, when I explained that I was cooking our dinner at 165 degrees Fahrenheit, she said, so you're just boiling chicken. Not quite right to me. And then it became abundantly clear that the teacher had no idea what temperature water was. Yeah. Derek Monet SSRIs since the accident. You remember

Derek? Yes. accident wife died. Yeah. We had to go fund me. Yeah. Nick, Nick Rikita gave me some money. That's right. I gave a little more money. Yeah. I gave more money than Nick Rikita. Nick Rikita gave me some money. God, that's right. I gave a little more money. I gave more money than Nick Rikita. I just wanted to say thank you for saving my dick. Hey, Dick and Sean, just wanted to say thank you

for saving my dick. I was recently prescribed some SSRIs because I was having some anxiety about being in a car since the accident that left me mangled. I was on them for about 10 days when I noticed, it seems pretty, you know, like you got those right away. I was in an accident, I'm on SSRIs now. Yeah, you know, we're always talking about over prescription

and you didn't know that like 70% were GP descriptions. That's the fucking, yeah. I maybe needed a bit of time after that kind of trauma before you get on SSRI. And it's very normal to have those kind of PTSD, all that kind of stuff. And really, there are just anti-anxiety drugs. Going right to SSRI seems pretty, like, you can't call them that if you go into the store and ask, though, they'll kick you out.

You can't call them anti-anxiety drugs store and ask though, they'll kick you out. You can't call them anti-exity drugs. We got, who is it? Right, you look at the hoopers in here. Yeah, well, unfortunately, and I, I think I know where he's gonna go with this. Unfortunately, 10 days is not anywhere near long enough to get the therapeutic benefits of it,

but you get the side effects right away. The dick side effects really. You get all the side effects right away. The dick side effects really. You get all the side effects right away. Right away? Basically, yeah, that's the wonderful thing, but it's a good. The opposite of liquor. It's a good stuff.

It's a good stuff. It's liquor in the side effects, or you know, 30 years down the line. Yeah, and I can get into the mechanism of action and why it takes, you know, length of time and all that kind of shit, but it doesn't, yeah, it's wonderful. They give you the side effects right up front.

Then I listened to, oh yeah, okay. I was on them for about 10 days when I noticed I was less interested in sex-related activities. Then I listened to the podcast and realized it was the damn pills that it fucked me up. At four sure, 100%. It had been about a week since then, and things seem to be pretty much back to normal.

This is extra important at this point in my life since I really have to capitalize on all the sympathy that comes from women. Oh, and she says, you break several bones and your wife dies. Oh, my God. That's a good point. Sounds like he's moving right on. What are you judging this guy? Yeah.

I don't know when she. Your friend, how long has it been? How long has it been? Hey, there's no, I'm not gonna tell anybody how to act after that. You don't think plowing, man. Oh, whatever, man. Whatever, what are the motions you go through?

I'm sure are normal for you. I would be a fucking catastrophe. If that happened to me, I would be a fucking catastrophe. If that happened to me, I would be streaming, my balls would have, my balls would be the size of a bean bag with how much saline I ejected to them. Ralph dropping one end bomb, that would be nothing. You know, I missed that. What's that?

The saline thing. The saline thing, you just be doing it? He texted me and he said, you come in, you be the artist that draws his balls. And I couldn't do it, man. Because it was grossing. I just don't want to do that. I couldn't do it.

He tried. He was like, come on, man, you can do it. Just go, just draw his balls. It was great. You saw them, right? Yeah. It was incredible. I'll never run, see them.

I can't see in the next day. Like how long? Two days. You were just like, fuck. I went to Pilates the next day. Nice. In two days you were just like fuck. I went to Pilates the next day. Nice. In the Ike yoga pants. Perfect.

And it was a fucking monster person. I was what kind of looks did you get? I don't give women the satisfaction of even noticing their looks. Perfect. I just look away. Yeah. Okay, student says, student says,

fuck that bitch. Teacher says it's rape. Good afternoon, dick, my name is Will. I'm a long time listener of the biggest problem the universe and really enjoy your show. I look forward to it every Tuesday. I thought you and Sean would get a kick out of this absurdity. My girlfriend goes to Appalachian State University

and had a class where one student said, fuck that bitch, outside of class, referring to the teacher. The teacher then responded to the whole class with the email, which included the N word, the F slur, comparing rape to slavery, and the Holocaust. I also heard her for hearing it for saying fuck, so you heard somebody say,

fuck that bitch. She says that's rape, I guess. Get raped and go fuck yourself, Sean, we're cool. Do you want to see that? Feel free to read this on the show. I would rather you not say my email. Do you wanna, do you wanna read her emails of the class?

You've got all kinds of gamer words in it. Yeah, I mean, see what kind of psychopath is teaching these kids. Oh man, I had that other screen open the whole time. This is college, right? Oh, of course it is. Yeah, right, right. College would be the most severe with this stuff, no doubt.

Yeah. Here's your email, you deserve an explanation for this sudden interruption in our class schedule. Oh wow, first however, I need to issue a trigger warning for the adult themes, especially rape that will be discussed below. What kind of trigger warning is that? Yeah, you just said it right there. I need to issue a trigger warning for adult themes, especially rape. Like do you have time to stop, did your brain have time to stop reading that sentence? I mean, cinematics doesn't say are explicit material. I'm just a bunch of people getting murdered.

Right. Yeah. Yeah running it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I hope if you were a trigger, if you were going to be triggered by rape, I guess you read very slowly. Okay. If you think you would have difficulty being exposed to the topic of rape, stop reading, wow, stop reading now.

Amazing. And these people who were attending these classes are now doing it remotely. How could they possibly package this learning experience to be consumed remotely without the classroom interaction? Is she taking time off because of this incident? Maybe, I don't know. Or did this just happen, you know, having it coinciding with a coronavirus outbreak?

No, it happened before. I have taken several steps to have several students removed from class, and several other students have dropped the class as a result of an unfortunate incident that occurred after class on Monday. The chair of the history department and the dean of the college of arts and sciences have approved these measures and concur with me that disciplinary action was warranted against these students.

So let me explain why because somebody said, fuck that bitch. If that's what it's real, let's hear her story. On Monday after class, I already don't like our story because she's, anytime you say rape twice in your opening, in your opener, even if you were raped, you say it one time, right? And you, and that's the ender. I was raped. That's the end of your paragraph. That's what, what after that are you going to say that carries more weight than that? Yeah. If you use

rape twice in the opener, then you're in blazing saddles. Yeah. If you use Rape twice in the opener, then you're in blazing settles. Exactly. Monday after class, I walked out of the building over the library, a group of students from this class, all male were standing in a circle talking in the square outside of the library. All male, why is that important?

It's like a cop saying like a bunch of black kids, we're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what do you mean? Why is that important? It's a good point. All male. Yeah. That's exactly what it means. It means troubles are coming.

Yeah, hold up. I'm sorry, bitch. Hold up. Hold up. Bitch, who's getting fucked? Hold up. What is that about? As I was watching the student who was speaking, he yelled loudly enough for me to hear

from 30 feet away and she does it in all caps. Fuck that bitch. And that's it. Referring to me. Yeah. The student has admitted saying this and admitted that he was referring to me. The other students in the group laughed and offered other offensive comments.

You know, like 18, 19, 20 year old. You know, I'm on the fucker, 30, 40 in a row. Oh, no, I know. But I mean, forget about that. That's that fat bitch that stomped her way into CVS looking for water. You know, fuck you. You fucking bitch. I can't even write. I know what she's going to continue on to say, but it's boy, what a, you better not ever

think about making a living outside of college. Good God, because you are woefully unprepared for the world. These are the people that don't want us to go do. These are the people that don't want me to have a show so they cannot get coronavirus. Fuck you. I'm going to get it on purpose. I'm going to it on purpose. I went to the library, did my errand.

How many errands did you have to do every day? If you find a woman, do you think she could come up with three errands? Like if I found you on any day, it said, how many errands you gotta do today? What would you say? None. Yeah, any woman you could walk up,

how many errands you gotta do? Oh man, this, this, this, this. It's because that's how they, that's how they've survived for thousands of years, not knowing, not knowing which way water goes, is constantly explaining what they're about to do. So it seems like they're doing things. I'm a big to-do list guy.

Are you? I do, I like my, my, like, premiere corner is to-do. Yeah. How many errands you have I do. I like my premiere corner is to do. Yeah. How many errors do you have to do today? Just this. Eight. Eight, you got eight errors to do?

You might be a transexual. I went to the library, did my errand, and came back out again shortly, and the group was still there. I confronted the student with his own words. That's always, that never goes well, doesn't it? No. Confronting people with their own words. Because it's usually funny when they say it back.

Yeah. Whenever I say something shitty, my greatest dream is that they would say what I said. I confronted the student with his own words, purposefully yelling, loud enough for all the world to hear, for him to hear what those words. So she took it, he set it at like a three so she could over here, you know, walking by.

She set it at a 10 so she sounds like a fucking nut job. From that bitch. Yeah. Then I reported the incident and requested that two of the students be removed from my class. Did you, did you, did you say the part where you screamed? Fuck that bitch at the top of your lungs?

Probably not. This has happened. Yeah, right. I reported them. What did you say in the report? Now I want to explain my reaction to you. Oh my God. Look at how long this fucking email is! Oh no, she's going into history and good god.

Oh no, we can't. Can we read this whole thing? I mean, if you don't editorialize too much, uh, you know I can't stop now. I want to explain my reaction to you. All my life. Oh god. I have, I have tried to draw attention to the problems of rape culture. Oh my she's like well she's a rapist. She's an SJ double. I mean she you know it's like this is you can say it. What? Since I've since I rapist. No SJ that since I've been since I've been five years old. All I thought about was the plight of women the world world over, and it's like, it's my calling. It's my duty.

Uh, and here directed it and here directed at me was a prime example of rape culture and action. I can't say fuck that. It doesn't mean any that it's all it is. It's like, fuck that bitch. Nobody thinks that's literal. You know, can I say one thing? literal, you know, can I say one thing? They're always like, you know, free college, free college from Bernie, free college. And I'm right to learn this. This is what I think. Well, if that's going to, yeah, you better put some, some, some guidelines, some rules on, you know,

right. It's useful. What are you talking about? It's not going to happen. Pay anything to learn this shit. Thank God for black people. Yes, and Biden. If not vote, yeah, exactly.

He put it into the malarkey, bro. No malarkey. If Trump just goes easy on him and just takes the second, because Biden stopped this dead in its tracks. Hell yeah. You know what I mean, Sean? Well, because he has the black vote. Yeah.

Overwhelmingly. And black people already get free Overwhelmingly. Yeah. And black people already get free Medicare and free school. Yeah. They don't need, you know what I mean? Well, the best is a free school. Like, we're gonna go fucking free school. The best is the Bernie Bros.

That I know several in person who go, oh, these people just need to learn how to vote in their best interest. Isn't that crazy? They did. Yeah. I don't wanna vote. If I vote for free school, that means I got to go to more school.

What a fuck would I vote for? To learn this shit. Me going to more school. Fuck you. That kind of like going to high school. Forget about the, I mean, all that stuff, yes. But just that, but just that sentence of like, I just look at it for what it is that she's actually trying to sell somebody else and or herself

that the term, a fuck that bitch means a rape, a call to sexual violence. That's insane. Nobody thinks that. If I go, fuck, you're such a, what a fucking, this guy's a dick. Like, he's a literal dick. Like that, it is the exact same. Rape culture is defined as the culture within all male enclaves that allows sexual violence against women to be perpetrated.

It is practiced by men who are rapists and men who are not rapists. I mean, this is why... So all men. Honestly, yeah, yeah, yeah. Honestly, this is why I wrote the article, the men and women article, rape exclamation point. This is the fucking prime demographic for it. Like, oh yeah, okay, well actually men,

if that's true, then men are the main victims of rape too. Because most rape happens in prison. So I guess women, so you guys can go talk about abortion, rape is entirely owned by us, because that's what the stats say. Men who are not rapists participate in rape culture by failing to stand up to men who rape women or are advocate the rape of women,

yelling fuck that bitch is literally advocating that someone should rape me. No, it is not. It is not literally advocating that. God. Oh my God. Can you not give fuck to a consent? What an idiot.

Have you ever yelled fuck me? What an idiot. Oh fuck me. Anybody with half a branch and read this and go, okay. Now I don't know how we're gonna do this with the unions and tenure and all that kind of stuff, but she needs to be gone. Yeah, you cannot infect, you cannot infect other young minds with this kind of bullshit.

It is quintessential. What an idiot. Massagementist. Massagementy means the hatred of women. Oh, wow, all right. Shit, I'll look that up. How many times in her life do you think she said massagementy means the hatred of women? I don't know, that's the title of my clothing line.

Misogyny means the hatred of women? Just misogyny means the hatred of women. Yeah, I don't hate women, I just hate you. Hmm. You can do both, John. So I was subjected to a misogynist attack by one of my students calling for my rape. And for-

I can't even do this. I know, I can't, this was said. This is what I mean where it's like, I'm tired of pretending that some people are not just fucking stupid, and I'm tired of other people feeling the need to pretend to be stupid. Yeah, yeah.

And for other students of mine laughed and encouraged the student who said this, and even further insulted me all in public. Good! Good! Men who do not have the courage to stand up and call out rape language are just as guilty as those who utter it. Oh man, I think you're making... Boy! I mean, if I'm worried about getting raped, I'm not going around pointing fingers at people, right?

I'm coming out, oh thanks, so almost for the poor, like thank you for standing up for me, not like, you deserve this. You may think, as these students did, that I deserve this verbal attack because I'm a terrible teacher and an awful person. How dirty do you think this bitch likes to be fucked? Like hair pulling, called a dumb whore.

Man, bad. That could be anywhere. That's fine if you hate me or my class, but egging on someone who's threatening to rape me is not the answer. You're not threatened with rape. As a senior faculty member at ASU, is this a, what is appellation? Oh, ASU, I think Arizona, what is Appalachian? Oh, ASU, I think Arizona State,

but Arizona State doesn't care about rape. My dad went there to have a party school. You have a major in rape at ASU. Yeah, my dad was a, my dad minored in rape. He was a, he majored in accounting. That's true. Yeah, yeah, the, the first part, the major. Yeah, the minor, not so much. Well, both are a little bit true. Yeah, yeah, the first part, the major. Yeah, the minor not so much. Well, both are a little bit true. Yeah, boom North Carolina.

How about that? Is this kind of shit end up in North Carolina? Good question. Have you been to North Carolina? I guess not. What is North Carolina? North Carolina is a little creepy for me. Creepy. Is it okay? North Carolina. North Carolina is a little creepy for me. Creepy? Is it? Okay. The first thing I noticed when I was there at a girlfriend who is going to the North Carolina, UNC, and everything is behind trees.

Like you drive down streets and like houses are buried. Even McDonald's is hidden behind a tree. Wow. So it's a little creepiness to it. It's just sort of like why are you even why everything behind trees sounds like a good place to write And in fact this the senior female professor in the history department as a 35 year veteran of college teachings Oh, that bitch is old. She got floppy fucking arm, arm gizzards going down. How could she make it through life this far

without killing herself? That's who this is. That's it's like a 65 year old woman. How has she made it? Good question. As the author of an award-winning book, well, we know she's had zero other jobs. Well, we know she's had zero other jobs.

That's what we know she's had zero other jobs. And as a decent contributing member of society and a leader in my church, I did not deserve to be subjected to this verbal assault in public, no matter how bad a student thinks the class is. The administration agrees with me that such a thuggish behavior, that's N word.

That's trying to say the N word. Well, that's saying the N word, that's the same thing. That is saying N word.'s trying to say the N word. Well, that's saying the N word. That's the same thing saying that is saying Inward it's a loaded it's a loaded word. I think it's like N word you can say the N word right? You might be talking about you might be talking about Italian mobsters No talking about yeah, and Italians are also kind of saying Italian is even a little bit inward what Italian? Yeah What because like, what's that movie with Christopher Walken and Dennis Hopper?

Oh, the mother was an entrepreneur. Oh, well, because he goes on to the whole, the moors and the, yeah. The anti-Christ, that's how Walken says it, weirdest delivery ever.

Yeah. Such thug-ish, so true romance. And where behavior is not appropriate for ASU students. I can't. I can't. I can't. So if you go to that school, I can.

Oh my God. Look at this. I am, I'll just finish it up. I am both heartbroken and outraged to have discovered such deep misogyny in some ASU students. Best, Dr. Gertz. Get fucked, lady. such deep misogyny in some ASU students best. Dr. Gertz, get fucked, lady. Oh.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's a doctor. Think you're a doctor like that? Yeah, an educated woman. Doctor of what? Yeah. Fucking idiocy. Uh, water jar anecdote.

That's an invitation. They're not, not for me. Just, I'm just saying, it's an unscramble your brain. I don't know. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it the chick I flirt with and buy snacks for it work. Now I'm not attracted to her anymore. My job is how dumb she is. Or maybe more attracted to her. Yeah, my drawing was done hastily,

but I could still tell one was upright compared to the other. Don't question yourself. I even drew a line indicating the ground beneath them. Okay. She drew the line parallel to the bottom of the tilted jar. So the dumb one. Yeah, right, right, right. I laughed and of the tilted jar. So the dumb one. Yeah, right, right.

I laughed and drew the correct line. She looked confused and then argued. I said gravity still applies to the second jar. She then became incensed. Ha, ha, ha. She attacked the quality of the drawing, explained that she thought I just wanted her to recreate the original

drawing accurately. Oh. And thought their position relative to each other was done randomly by me. She said, I'm not an idiot. But admitted she may have gotten it wrong and that she'd known exactly what I wanted her to draw. Better luck next time. That'll really cure your chumps and draw my thing, right?

Here, just draw this thing, draw the world. Inkstrom says, last episode you had a call from someone who apparently could wash his hands all by himself, good for him. The truth is that almost no one washes their hands correctly. Most, most myths, the space between their fingers, the thumb and their fingertips. Wow. Thanks.

Really get the word out on the fucking between the, so glad that Arnold Schwarzenegger decided to do a video of talking about between your fucking fingers. Thanks a lot, man. We now officially have an epidemic. We cannot afford people not knowing how to minimize contamination. Don't be an asshole, please love your show. What about maximize contamination? Yeah. Where's that philosophy?

Yeah, what about getting on some like Kaczynski Unicover kind of get the disease and start coughing on a shirt and that in the mail. Yeah, thank you. Thanks for you know, thank you, Senator, thanks mom, thanks. Senator, not anthrax. It's just I coughed. I coughed in a priority mail envelope sealed. I have to lick the envelope. Close. It's a real thank you letter

Thank you very much. Yeah There you go. Yeah, Unicom for very funny. It survives. I think it survives for 12 hours on metal Yeah, the coronavirus I'm and now I'm gonna have to open my mail with rubber gloves Yeah, yeah, thanks for putting that thought into my head. Shotted. He brings in stats about how young people have no capital, the rising cost of everything, and how relying on people to save will never work. But the only solutions I've ever heard from Dick are like, man, the youth are fucked or something vague about the Federal

Reserve. Yeah. Pretty specific about the Federal Reserve or making smart choices. What's the solution and how is it achieved? I know he doesn't really care because his family is fine. But still, here he is. Yeah, that's true. Every July 4th,

I have, every July 4th is the, if we don't have, if Congress isn't limited to 30,000 people in a district, then there's no hope of anything else. I know. That's my problem. I have this conversation the other day with, yeah, I know, the other day with somebody, it's just like, we have, we don't have any say. There's, yeah, it's until, and I'll do it again.

I'll do it every July 4th. It will be the episode of, we need to limit the congressional districts, 30,000 people or else nothing else can be done. Um, there's your solution. Alex Jimenez says, Hey, Dick, what makes me a rage this week is people hoarding supplies. I didn't think this was going to be an issue, but damn, uh, every God damn store is out of fucking water. It's like why 2k all over again.

I would use these gallon filling places, but I once saw a homeless man finger the spout hole and lick his fingers. You don't need the water. You don't need water. God water. I don't be more terrified. It's not, unless you're in like fucking Flint, Michigan,

you already needed water. Yeah. And you didn't get it. What's your, do you have a lockdown plan if the city goes into lockdown, I ignore what I'm going to have. I ignore what you're just going to be here all the time. Doing your show.

Yeah. And I'll be locked in my house watching it. I assume my sister has food. I'll just go take her food. Yeah. I mean, she buys a ton of food. I'm sure. Whatever.

This is a gamer moment. Yeah. I think that's it. Okay, let me see here. Maybe one more. This is a gamer moment. Yeah, I think that is. Okay, let me see here. Maybe one more. One more and then we'll get, we'll end the show. It was about two more. We're three hours, three hours.

Oh, God. This is from Sad Dom. Dear Dick, I'm a long time listener of the show in a first time emailer. And I've seen you as a prominent figure in my life. And as one of the few positive role models, male role models I've ever figure in my life. And as one of the few positive role models, male role models, I've ever had in my life. And I always have taken your advice on things. I come to you today on an old throwaway account, one that I've been using since the biggest problem, days to ask for advice.

I've always had terrible ADHD. I'm one of the rare few people who are diagnosed who didn't just have retarded parents who just couldn't take care of me and just opt to feed me what is essentially microdosis of crack. No You're talking about it. Adderall. No, I have the real deal and the way my parents found out about this. He spells parents with two R's every time Found was by taking me off of the meds despite me claiming that they have helped me, and that I needed them, I was taking off because I would have depressive episodes with the pills, and I wouldn't have these episodes off of them. But ever since January, when I'd finally gotten put back on, I started having depressive borderline

suicidal thoughts. If that wasn't enough, what's he taking? It started to affect my performance in school. I don't know. That's it, yeah. And that made me more anxious and depressed. If that wasn't enough, last month, I broke up with my girlfriend when she suddenly came out

as trans to me. Ooh, whoa. Does that mean she wants to be a guy? That's what I think so. I think so as a guy the whole time. Oh, boy, that's a, you know, I know, came out as, came out as, did he find out that he wanted to be a guy? That's what I think so too.

Let's go with that. And I spurred out and left her in the Yeah, I see. I think so too. Let's go with that. And I spurred out and left her in the dust, something which I feel like an asshole for doing. Oh, I mean, you know, you can't ever feel bad for abandoning anyone, right? Because they only exist in your memory. Okay. I like to look at your eyes when you say that.

But you really, you really have to ever thought about it that way. You really have to focus on that like hard. What about a parent? Uh-uh. Okay. Well, no, it depends, it depends. Because they had parents too. Yeah, and they're on.

What reason did you quote, unquote abandon someone for? Yeah. Um, to keep going from this, the friend group I was in, a bunch of leftist misfits, who I basically brought all of together, ended up kicking me out of the group because I decided to reverse Yoko Ohno myself. I brought her in the group.

Oh my God. And when we broke up, they all decided to kick me out. If the entire world was loaded into slave camps, I think we would still be worried about shit like this. My slave camp group kicked me out because a girl that I brought in who was a guy. Interpersonal politics. Yeah.

No, I know. Later followed by me actually getting back into said group and then when I finally felt comfortable in the group, who I felt like would accept me for who I am, they threw me out for saying it's degenerate to be transitioning. Then stop taking testosterone for nine months to have a child, then go back onto testosterone. Oh my god. You think that it's gonna be gender-neutral bathrooms at the FEMA camp? I hope. So she wants to be, she's becoming a man. They're gonna have a cordoned off area for you, a hole for you to shit in.

Yeah. And it's gonna be, yeah, this will be an all agenda neutral hole. Bodies go in there. Kevin, just everything goes in the hole. And people will be, well, they're throwing bodies, they're throwing the woman bodies in the, in the guy's hole.

Yeah. I still had two friends from the group, two people who were still cool to me. After this social rejection happened, I ended up going to a relative's funeral and seeing her in the casket, it really put the idea of going to Greenland in my head. Jesus. Just by seeing the peaceful look on her face and the supportive people around her. So he idealized the death. That all leads me up to today, me finally losing my faith in the Catholic Church, due to realizing it was all just made up to push Judaism forward. He's an anti-Semite, so he deserves to die, right? Is that... Can't have to be saying that stuff about

Jewish people. Wait, I have... I have any reason. That's new to me. What's that? Wait, the Catholic church was made up to push Judaism forward? Is that what is that a thing? Well, these are my face due to realizing it was all just made up to push Judaism forward. I thought that Catholicism was killed Christ to stop them. The Romans, the church to... This is confusing. It's very confusing. Well, it's very questionable.

Well, else I found that I learned that early depictions of Jesus, he had a magic wand. Really? That's cool. That's like a carvings of Jesus. And that there was a bunch of guys around that time claiming to be like the son of God and do your Hegeical shit. Yeah, and he's the one that we remember. There was around that time. There was a lot of different religious cults coming up

Yeah, Bithraism was one of them right which was Roman soldiers that were fire worshippers Look into it. It's really cool. Yeah, I wish that one took over, you know. It'd be more fun. Sorry if this email seems a little disjointed and all over the place, I'm just at my wits end right now. Do you have any advice for this guy? The only advice, if all this shit's going on,

you know, I'm gonna do the boring advice and say, fucking talk to an expert. That's the, there's nothing that I can, there's nothing that I can, an expert. Yeah. Me. So you'd say that he should do what? I would say, I think he should do.

Right, I would say under no circumstances, talk to Dick or listen to Dick. This is a, this is a, these statements have not been approved or, or approved or, or it's like a warning. It's like just for entertainment purposes only. Yeah. Yeah. Looking down at a corpse, man, I totally get it.

Man. Supporting. Well, and he's like idealizing. He's like kind of romanticizing that everybody would be really sad and supportive if he were no longer there. Yeah. Like that's how he would like bring people together or... Yeah. Yeah, I mean, dude.

You need to have a deeper appreciation of art. Go look at some... Go look at some of the pre-Raphyalite movements, the death of Ophelia, actual paintings of that men have dedicated their lives. And you're... I mean, you're looking at a corpse. God made that art. You didn't make it. You're identifying with artwork that exists

in front of you. You have to put, you have to pour yourself into creating this if you're gonna have the audacity to identify with it. Why not, why not learn a little bit about the obsession that you have with romanticize. What was the word you use with romanticizing that identifying with the dead. Follow it, follow it, but follow it, follow it, follow it live, follow it alive.

He should read. This is what I think you're going to be very sophisticated. You're going to have a scarf. You're going to have a meth pipe or whatever you've got. Go ahead. This is like kind of the gayest advice I've ever given, anyone, but first off, get away from everyone you mentioned in that email.

Because it's right. Yeah, and then too. Start, I was gonna say, pick something and get really good at it. I think this guy should pick poetry. Read some William Blake. Read some, Charles, and Gail. Yeah, that's good, that's good.

There's other guys that love death that much. See what they had to say. Start writing your own shit. Maybe mail some of it in to the show when you get kind of good. You know, we'll see. And if you team up with any thoughts, don't let them control the bank. Never trust the money. Never be an equal partner if it's your idea and something.

Just don't trust the money. Actually, none of that is bad advice. But yeah, I mean, that's basically my advice. Just said in a more calm way. Get away from everyone in that email. So whatever meds, he was like, because I've never known Adderall or anything like that to cause depression. Generally, it's the other way.

I think it causes me to clean my kitchen. Yeah, probably. Who knows? Who knows? I mean, I don't, but it's like, yeah, you got to, you to clean my kitchen. Yeah, probably. Yeah. It who knows, who knows? I mean, I don't, but it's like, yeah, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta ask for some, you gotta ask some questions of some professionals, I think. And that's the boring advice, but it's the only thing that I would do for myself.

You can do mine just on Wikipedia though. You can, yeah. All right, everybody, this is the... This has been the Dix show. Dix dot show, Patreon.com slides to Dix show. Road rage LA, Nick, Ralph, not Noel. Mods you coming to that? Maybe.

Maybe. I hope that you see there. Sean, can we see you there? Yeah, Chris, thanks for coming in. Thanks, man. My pleasure. I'll that you see there. Sean, can we get you there? Yeah, Chris, thanks for coming in. Thanks, man. My pleasure. We'll see you next Tuesday. This is Hope My Song.

It's played on the Dix show. Mm. Bought. Comment nipulative. Necro. Oh, it was removed. What, you motherfucker. Well, you said it was sold out,

but do you think some people aren't gonna be able to make it? Oh, yeah. I have tickets. All right, well, it was sold out, but do you think some people aren't going to be able to make it? Oh, yeah. I have tickets. Well, it's your show. I mean, I have more space. Oh, nice. I found space. The space is always the issue.

Yeah. So ironically, if it would be at BuzzBeast, they probably would have canceled it anyway at this point. Yeah. And then I really, you know what? I'm sure. You know what? If it doesn't get canceled, I think, you know, me, Galton, the crew, we might show up. Oh good. Yeah. Okay.

Okay, fuck it. I'll play MC Jarbo. Let me be your dad. Hey, you might not understand this yet, but in many ways we are very very different people and I'm not gonna lie You're probably gonna start noticing a lot more as time goes on different people and I'm not gonna lie. You're probably gonna start noticing a lot more as time goes on. But look, listen, listen, this is what I wanna say and I really want you to understand this. Mommy and daddy love you so much.

So damn much. And of course, I love you too. Tomorrow we're gonna take a trip right down to the shooting range and you're gonna learn if I were a gun and improve your aim Sooner or later you'll be able to shoot all kinds of things You'll be popping brains running away with a dollar hockey change Sources on a babe is your diver eat a change. You feeling strange

You don't got no need to feel ashamed did somebody say something something that might have been gross You're like how the fuck are you black? With both folks, lighter than ghosts? Maybe you've been exposed to some black culture. And so now you're wondering why we don't choke Hose in the jar boat household. Well, let me tell you how it goes. And don't get mad at me when you learn that you're mom's. Oh, naturally, I'm tired of trying to get close. See your mom's legs were well much wider than most.

A much wider than most. That bitch was fucking coast to coast. She had people who had personal experience. Inside of her holes, up in blue. This guy, this guy was like,

there was no more. This is Mad Turbo. But I guess, at the end of the day, he's just cut together from setting the business away. Oh, fuck, that's right! So, cut together.

And if you basically did, it's really good. Yeah, it's locked and engaged. For your replacement, Daddy's free range. I'll let hope I had Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this.

Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget about this. Don't forget a lot of work. Let's take an incredible amount of work. Yeah. Yeah.

Please let me be your dad. Tomorrow we're going to take a trip right down to KFC. And you're going to learn to hold me. Yeah, you didn't know that this is, and you're going to splice together. Well, no, now I want to see that. Now I know who it is. The thumbnail is fantastic.

That's fine. You're under my roof. Just do everything that I do. Bro, it's cool. Not the life school. With your busted ass IQ, have five kids with different dudes. But before you leave middle school,

you have to shit beat out of you. Find some way to blame a white dude. You'll only eat if it's fried food. Only drink if it's high proof. Keep a loaded god beside you and never, ever try to find truth. They'll never, ever hire you. If they're fault, you've been lied to.

It's the Jews. They control. ever hire you. If they're fall you've been lied to it's the Jews they control you They control everything in my room. Jesus MC Jarbo It's all math stuff together. Yeah, it's really good. That's right It's all in stuff, together. Yeah, it's really good, that's right. It's time, it must have taken it. It's time to be struggling. I pulled my hand. No, no matter. Cause I know he's not here but Man, don't you be sad Don't you be sad

Cause hit no matter Don't don't matter Don't you be a girl Back Hit no matter Me, hey Hey, you're dead I'm not

Me, you're dead Yeah Please let me be your dad You don't mean a god damn thing no people not one god damn thing That's what I keep here. Oh I guess that means And then they wonder why is this piece of shit always such bad headspace? Oh the grandma is the guy in something like that

Oh Oh And a joke hit, man. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. We are hearing reports of an incoming news call. Ah! All right, everybody. See you next Tuesday. See ya, thanks. See you next Tuesday. See ya, thanks.