The Dick Show - Episode 202 - Dick on Martial LOL

Episode Date: April 14, 2020

Lucie Wilde gets a breast reduction, sneezing with a sore back, Burning Man is canceled, dancing nurses, Bill Gates microchip n-word bargain, my YouTube recommendations are ruined, a real live cuck calls in, a Bernie Bro tells me I was right--which I was--and why he did, magical beliefs, Gator's ghosts, New York City problems that we all have to deal with, and Sean goes on That Larry Show; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I hate those friction joints. That it's just lousy. Everything. I know. Every piece of equipment is lousy with those stupid things. They made like, mic stands are either super cheap or super expensive and they tried to make like a mid-range mic stand like that with that. With that flamm.

I'm talking about the ones, any piece of equipment. Yeah, where it's tight, where you have to tighten it so it doesn't slip. Yep, those suck. They start giving away, they start giving away almost immediately. Like it takes very little weight to wear that out or that system out really quick. I don't know why, but no, they suck. And it fucks up your hands. Yeah.

If you go too hard, then you got guys like you and Johnny, Johnny came over, go to the T-Sinch, something down. What did Johnny Sinch down that I've learned to be easier on things that don't work? It was my ass up on it. I don't wanna talk about drugs again. It was a water bottle.

Johnny Sinch the top down of my water bottle. Oh, yeah. And then I went to take it out and I'm like, bro, this is now a solid fused piece of metal. Yeah, yeah. What are you doing? Yeah. You've taken years off of the insulation,

off of the rubber o-ring of this. This is why the challenger exploded, Johnny, because someone over tightened the lid like this. It only needs to be on snugly. Like I've learned that, you know, but he's got those, both of you have these big monkey hands that you can have, like you have never tried.

I asked about my hands at road rage. They are huge. They're like, oh no, they're not that big. They're like normal size. Sean, they're like, look you. I just have, I just have mainly, mainly qualities, mainly strength. I'm coming from you.

Oh, because of what? The spirit of your heart, thatly qualities, manly strength of my hands. Oh, because of what, the spirit of your heart, that's where you're manly strength. It's because you got big freak fuck off hands. That's where everything, I just have strong hands, I guess. What a, I have sensual hands like a lover for a woman. Right, for massaging a woman. If you tried to massage a woman,

you'd probably, you'd probably snap her neck like Lenny. You big fucking retarded person. Well, that's how I get out of massage is thick. You know what I mean? It just takes one example. That's why, oh yeah, it's my feet, crank misery. Oh, sorry, bitch. Never again.

Yep. That's how you do it. I fuck up every time I have to clean anything. Oh, do you? And I snap next when I massage. That's how you do it. The 80s girls is running that ploy too. Oh really, that's your thing.

She doesn't like to do. Okay. Yeah. My mom does that too. No, the friction joints, they're terrible. Just terrible. Nothing else is as frustrating to work with in a regular capacity as the friction ball bearing joints that you have to tighten that. No, I mean,

we have ratchets. Ratchets exist that we have gears. We have interlocking gears. This technology exists where you don't need to break your goddamn hands every time you tighten anything. Why would you put two smooth surfaces together and then maybe a little bit of friction a friction surface on one? It doesn't, I hate it. These mic stands I was talking about were the worst fucking inventions ever. They all wore out inside a month.

We're at your studio? No, this was another studio I worked at. The ones I work at now have the big fucking starboard. Like, you know, the professional interlocking teeth? No, that, oh, do the interlocking teeth? Do the teeth, do I have to sit there? You don't have to go get a pipe to tighten down a mic stand. No, because I can't do it with my sensual lover's hands.

These will like you. These will stay, these will stay no matter what Mike is hung from the end of them. I could put the tips of my fingers through a coffin, like kill bill. I don't want to give people the wrong idea. Right, I could put, I wouldn't even make a fist. I would just put my fingers through. Right, like you're reaching into a, like a, some kind of a parallel universe or something through a hole through.

My fingers are like Wolverine's claws. They're made out of adamantium. I can just push through the neighbor yesterday. I asked, you know, I do piano streams every night. So I asked the neighbor, hey, text me if it's too much because I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. I drink a lot.

So I try to stop playing piano at like 10, 9 or 10, but there's a chance the lickers playing. Right. And you're going to want to text the lickers and say, Hey, man, can you stop singing about people fucking themselves? We're trying to put the kids to bed. Right. I'm surprised. Oh, that's pretty considerate of you. Well, no, I only did it after like two weeks of three weeks of playing. I've been playing every night for head to twitch.tv slash L.A. based comedian. Gotcha. But he goes, no, you know what?

It's really, it's very muffled. We've actually been enjoying it. It's very muffled. We've been enjoying it. But I was asking my wife, how the fuck it's as he play for this long, this loud and this long with those fingers. I said, man, my fingers are made out of wood. I could put these, I could put these,

my fingers through the back of your skull right now. You do, I mean, you do, it is. I just stared at them like this, making a Tomahawk chop with my hand until he went away. I think people get the wrong, see, Piano is a fucking percussion instrument. You have to build up that, especially when I play it. Well, for real, but like it's like,

you know, if you're playing, if you're playing bongos or congas, you know, like you've got like guys tape their fingers, especially at first. And you've got to, it's definitely, you've got to like deaden those fucking nerves in there because it'll. Yeah, fuck nerves. It'll, my fingers feel like my heart completely full of patriotism

only and no feelings about anything else. All right, let's start the show. I feel like my heart completely full of patriotism only, and no feelings about anything else. All right, let's start the show. There's no room, no room, only room for the love of my country, not even room for God, no, in my heart. Happy Easter, everyone. Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Welcome to day, you want to get new, you love to get new, get out of this show where it is a contest coming to you live from Mount and Bunker Deep in the Heart of the City of Feel Your Army. How's it like, Mashin? Okay, the $20 million man voted America's worst Mexican 50, two weeks running, 20 years old.

Who always is LA-based? Are you gonna do high-ows now? I guess if you're, if you're gonna keep doing basically, I'm the world touring. Ed McMahon. Yeah. Sean the audio engineer. I got a publisher's clearing house, check for you.

Like nobody remembers that. Anyways, how long has Ed McMahon been dead for? He's dead? Oh, yeah. He's probably what? Seven, eight years. That's a bummer. This bummer start of the show, Sean. Thanks a lot. Yeah, Ed McMahon's dead. Oh, yeah, he's probably what seven eight years. That's a bummer. There's a bummer start of the show, Sean. Thanks a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Ed McMahon's dead. But now I'm feeling a little weird. We did.

I got a question for you. And be honest with me. I'm feeling a little bit weird. The Sean show. It's feeling like the Sean show. Did anyone else get up early this morning and crucify a bunny? What do you mean? Just me. That was just you. You did that since I celebrated Easter. I thought that's what we were doing. Yeah, no. No, we're all collecting eggs. The rest of the world is just collecting virtual eggs

in our video game where you can buy a virtual house and owe a virtual banker millions of dollars by selling spiders. You can buy a new house. This is Animal Crossing. You're still like, the thing's, if I can big time right now, right? You're pretty funny.

You're not shit to do. Is it really, like somebody said, it's like really like relaxing. Look, I'm kidding you. I'm kidding you. For some reason, I know how you can make it. I already, I instantly got,

I picked up the controller and A's girls and goes, oh, can you move some stuff around in the house? I'm like, look, you would, if you would, would you tell me in real life to start moving furniture around like that? Don't tell me to do it in the game. Okay. If you want the controller to start moving shit around

and fucking around with storage, you go ahead, but I'm taking this stone axe and I'm going to go mine for iron ore. That's what I'm about. Mining for ore. Acquiring currency. So you do that too. You can move furniture around. I walk around in that game with a free shirt that I got from the virtual airlines company and no pants and a stone axe mining for ore. That's all I do in that game. Going slightly more insane while she's putting together outfits. Basically, Donald Duck.

Yes. But she hates it. She hates it, it's a free shirt. Cause I like, there's like no pants. And it amount of clothes you constantly buy. Perfect. There's this catalog of, like the whole thing is just buying clothes, it's a girls game.

Is it really? Yeah, girls love it. He, he, Silly has a whole island that's like a concentration camp for men. Really? Yeah, like she's got urinals with barbed wire around them. And she sends messages that say like, it's like, he kill all men.

Here's a present that I got for you. It was a little hamster cage. Ah. Anyway, that's animal crossing. Did you do the Larry show? Did I hear that right? I did, a couple of weeks ago. What the hell?

You just don't mention anything about that? I don't mention anything about anything. What? What were you guys talking about? Were you talking about me? No, very little. Oh, no, so it's not interesting then. Very little. It was check on. I mean, I was, you know, it was fairly complimentary.

No, it was, it was, it was fun. I couldn't believe he asked me to do it. You, well, after you were gushing about how cool he was, that's probably why. That's probably fucking why, wasn't it? Yeah. Were you nervous talking to your idol of manliness? No, no, no, no.

What did you guys talk about? I just kind of, everything, I mean, everything from kids to music to just, I don't know, I mean, everything from kids to music, to just, I don't know, thoughts on, thoughts on music. Yeah, I don't know, we just kind of bullshit it for an hour. It was fun. All right, working people can get that at patreon.com slash the Larry show, I imagine.

I think so, Larry show. I think he just put it up. Yeah, that's how I found out about it. Sean, you got to tell me about these things. I don't say that. So I can approve it or not. Yeah, I don't really, kind of representing me in the show.

I don't really do that. If you go on a show that has values that don't agree with me, yeah, that could affect me negatively. I see. I see, yeah. Exactly. Very good.

All right, I'll tell you what makes, oh my, ah, Marshall Law. How's that for you? Good, bam, better. Marshall L-O-L, Marshall Law. That's what we're living. No, I stole it from a guy. And I didn't even bother remembering his name.

That's, oh man. Ultimate fuck you. But he'll know. He was a redditor though, so fuck him. And no one else will. Yeah, Marshall Law. I came up with that, so fuck him. And no one else will. Yeah, a Marshall Law. I came up with that. That's good.

You can't not law. Yeah, Marshall Law. Good. Can't go outside or you'll get arrested. You can go outside. Oh, they dragged a guy off a bus. They dragged a guy off a paddleboard. Yeah, you can't go outside.

How did you even get here? I went on Fail Road. Yeah. I've been using that one. Look at that shit. I stole that one too, actually. Did you? What was his name?

Don't know. I don't remember the name. It doesn't matter. Unremarkable. Yeah. Because then people won't remember my name for saying it. That makes it, you know. I take the gold and I spin it and give it to you.

Well, that drives with your, yeah, I understand what you're doing. Yeah, perfect. That drives with what you do. That scans. Oh God, I didn't think martial law could get any worse. I can always get worse. Sean, what are what's going on now? I didn't think she'd be on the constitution.

For me, you know, for me, nothing is worse than that. Yeah. Nothing is worse than the constitution getting shit on. Did you happen to, this is gonna start a thing, but don't argue with me. Did you, I'm not gonna argue with you today. Today, everything is, it's about Jesus today. It is about Jesus.

The all-time full-rich came back from, he's not a zombie. Pisses me off when people think they're clever by calling him Jesus He came back from, he's not a zombie. It pisses me off when people think they're clever by calling him Jesus a zombie. No, he's not a zombie. Hey, fuckhead, have you seen zombie movies? They eat brains, they go around, they don't make any sense. Jesus is a Lich.

Go watch Adventure Time. That's Jesus, rising from the dead, summoning powerful forces, doesn't fuck around. Yeah, flipping over tables. Yeah, he's back. He's H fuck around. Flipping over tables. Yeah, he's back. Jews hate him. He's really pissed off. He's back and he's pissed.

He's a lich. He's very angry. He's bound by supernatural forces to the undead. He's a lich. Yeah. Don't fuck it up. Not a zombie. He's a zombie.

Oh, you fucking, you putts. This is why we can't fuck it up. Not a zombie. He's a zombie. Oh, you fucking you putz This is why we can't have nice things Because you gotta use a fucking Yiddish word, you know with Jesus and stuff is a La Chamoil Those are the people who you know those are the people who give those cheap laughs in the movies Mm-hmm, that hurt you inside. Oh god, don't you see it coming? Don't you fucking laugh at this? I know.

I stand up and put laser flashlights on everybody. Don't you fucking laugh? I'm gonna write your ass. I'm gonna write your ass up. Do you remember movie theaters? Yeah, sure do. There won't be any in the future, Sean. No, gone. They're gone. They're gonna be, they're, gone. They're gone. They're gonna be, they're all gone.

They're gonna be like battle domes. It'll be like chicks without only fans. Those won't exist in the future either. Mm. You're either gonna be a horror, an e-hor or a simp. Oh, man. That's it. These are dire, these are dire times in martial law.

Things are changing forever. I like martial law. I love it. It's really good. Now I'm happy. Oh, we've identified it. It's marketing. That's marketing.

That's what it is. That's what it is. Love it. Now I win. Martial law. That's funnier than the cops are. Whatever, draconian. Yes.

Anyway, what were you going to say when I was talking about the constitution? Nothing. I was going to go ahead. You're trying to find it. It gets worse. It gets worse. I found out this week, I need to have a real moment of silence. I found out this week that Lucy Wilde cut her tits off. What?

Yeah. She got a breast reduction. Reduction, not that biomarker, whatever, that says you're gonna get cancer. Well, I don't know. That's a myth too. That's just that entire breast cancer thing that's a myth. It's for children to be able to cut their tits off.

So, man, we'll look at them. Okay. That was something I suspected. She got knocked up, I guess. Her boyfriend who got her into porn, knocked her up, then went to prison. He went to prison for some reason. I don't know, probably because people are jealous

of him, just like Harvey Weinstein. And then she had a kid and allegedly I hear, I hear from the creep vine. Well, I belong to a collection of creeps. Yes, you do. Yeah. Yeah. She got her tits on her shrunk her tits to,

because she didn't like the way they were sagging after her pregnancy. And I really, I just, I can't beat off to her, even the memory of her tits anymore. That's ruined. Yeah. I saw it and I made the mistake of looking at a picture. Oh no. Because I had to see it with my own eyes. I was, you know.

It's such a bad, you know it's wrong to do. Like if you like, if you, I don't look up my ex-girlfriends on Facebook, right? Because I don't want to see them with the new guy. I don't want to see that they're fat or that they are, they have a new guy. Whatever, you know, I don't do that. Some guys do. No, I don't want to see that they're fat or that they are, they have a new guy. Whatever, you know, I don't do that. Some guys do.

I have incredible mental restraint. Yeah. But I couldn't help it on this one. I look, I forget even how I, I forget even how I was clued into this. Did you find this out first? You told me, yeah, 80s girl just found out somehow. Don't you, don't you own like a news bulletin site for her?

I remember exactly. Because I thought she was out of the game. Well, yeah, she retired or something, didn't she? She retarded, yeah. She retired. But tits are gone. And I don't, I really don't know. I didn't think it could get any worse, but it can.

Now I can't go outside either to distract myself. I just have to sit in and think about, we now live in a world that does not have, I could think always, in the back of my head, I could always think, you know, at least they're out there somewhere. At least they're out there under the same moon as me. Maybe thinking, maybe they're thinking about me. I'm thinking. At least they're out there under the same moon as me, maybe thinking, maybe they're thinking about me,

I'm thinking about them. Isn't that more depressing? No. At least they're out there living their own best happy life. You don't know what he wants, that? Somewhere I do, I do. No. I think even, girls, you know what,

at least they're out there having a good time and annoying another guy. Yeah, misery and shit forever. No, I'm very magnanimous. Oh no. As long as I don't have to pay for you to work in so that's all that I just think of. I'm like complete wrong attitude.

You wish misery on ex loves. Oh, their entire families. People they know, people they know, people they've borrowed money from. Yeah, oh yeah. God, death and destruction, pestilence. Uh, I was at least thinking, well at least Lucy Wiles' tits are out there somewhere,

somewhere out there, under the same bright stars, thinking of me and I'm thinking of them, but now it's just, now they're gone. And I, I don't know what to, and you know what makes it even worse, I found a replacement. Really? I was like, well, this is the same kind of tit.

Okay. This is the same kind of profile. Some people just go hand sizes, not me. I have a whole advanced grading system. I understand. I understand. Because you really, you are truly a tit man. And a very, very intelligent.

I can't shut that off. When I put my mind to something, I put it to a degree that the average man cannot. So I am a see, you know, like the terminator. Yeah. Boop, boop, boop, drawing lines and stuff like that. So I found a replacement for her, not, not long after I went to her not every long after a long tour, right? Every

contour exactly. Angle. Yeah. Gage did which one's bigger. What kind of vein pattern are we talking about here? Yeah, these are the devils in the details. Nice. I saw her Instagram pop up. She's Italian. So I punched in her whatever she was saying in Italian. She had a weird rap on her chest. She got a fucking breast reduction too. I said, oh, Jesus. What the hell's going on? Really? You're just women are chopping off their bangs,

chopping off their tits. What is Marshall all doing, God's? Making us crazy. It's making us crazy. That's the, I mean, it is, it's one of the worst. This has been a very bad week for me. Burning Man was also canceled. Well, okay.

What do you mean? Well, well, well, overall, you're nice. What were the odds of that? I thought very low. We're okay. I thought I let it do it. When is it? When is it?

Never. No, no, no, no, normally it's like the highest number. It's September. Oh, God. It's in September. I, every time you, September. Every time you talk about Burning Man out in the desert

at the end of summer where it's always the fucking hottest around these parts of it. Oh my god. That feels like clouds. It feels the best part. I think I would fucking just kill myself inside of five minutes there. You'd hate it. You'd hate it.

I don't understand it. I hate it. I hate it. We're gonna have so much partying to do when all of this is over. The show. The road rage show. I don't think I was thinking about this the other day. Go ahead.

The next road rage show, every dude is getting their hands fucking shake in six ways. All the women are getting at least hogs, Dick. They're at least. Tongue, right up the asshole. Yeah, there's gonna be a lot of touching. A lot of touching at the next road rage. I think I was floating this out there because I don't think this can go on much longer. I mean, it's a New York's problem, right? Are we all in agreement?

There by far and away the worst. They're 8% of the deaths on earth is New York. Yeah, no, that's L.A. Not Montana. California is doing well overall. Yeah. Well, I mean, it depends how you look at Californians. We've only had 60 deaths a day or something like that. So I would kind of wish for a couple extra zeroes, but it's a New York problem, right? It's like so much worse in New York than anywhere. Then anywhere else in the States, yeah. Because, yeah, well, all right. So I think we gotta be open. I'm thinking July, the Olympics got canceled. So a proper beer Olympics in LA.

I just got, we gotta come back. Yeah, I don't know if people are gonna be ready for it. I assume they are. I think they're gonna get more money on unemployment than they were at their regular fucking job. I know, I know. Tons of people I know. I know. So let's go. What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do?

What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do?

What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do?

What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? just the right set of circumstances. Something will put me and Lucy Wilde's tits on the same trajectory. I'll get to meet them, you know, but not now.

I think they're sacking. They're saggy now. Yeah, they're fucking gone. Well, and my, I wrote a song about it. I was so heartbroken. Really, yeah, I did. That's inspiration. Okay, let me see what else makes me a rage. The nurses dancing videos. What? Then all the nurses dancing. Yeah, I haven't seen any,

but I've heard about it. I mean, I don't know. I don't really want to see heroes be dancing while while they're, well, they're saving lives. Okay. Is it just me that's probably not? I'm not about that? Probably not. I don't see it. Well, because it's all like advanced, it's all these choreographed moves. So how much time did you spend working on that? How much time was spent on this?

Yeah. Uh, with all the scrubs and stuff, like you're kind of just a reminder of death at this point, people are, everybody thought people were drowning to death in their own lungs, kind of just a reminder of death at this point. People are, everybody, I thought people were drowning the death in their own lungs, not doing the macarena on TikTok. Everybody has this look at me,

no matter what they're doing, no matter what they're doing. Yeah. Can everybody, the way that I, it's like, I just want everyone to do their jobs. When things need to be done, just put stuff aside for a minute, just do your job. Just do your job. Don't brag about not having time.

You thank God. If you brag about not having time, you have time. You have time to do other shit. Yes. Well, we were totally unprepared for this pandemic. It's just because you're doing TikToks all day. Just do your job. How much time was put into this? I didn't do any TikToks today.

No. Because I didn't want to put all the time into learning how to dance. Yeah. I mean, you guys are doing a flying V here with like moves. Uh-huh. You pick the music. What the fuck is wrong with you? Who's a, you know,

You're asking for it. It's some kind of, it's, it's a production. Yeah. Like, I mean, there's like, you know, you're asking for it. It's some kind of, it's a production. Yeah. Like, I mean, there's like people, or like, oh no, you should do it like this. Okay, and practice here, and five, six. You know, like, well, this is the worst judgment I've ever seen.

So what else, what was I supposed to be doing about? Not eating meat, what was that again? I really fucking hate them. Yeah, I think it's very, I think it's very inappropriate. Yeah. I haven't seen any of the non-line guy though. No, not, not when it comes to nothing. That stuff. Yeah. How, oh, how lulierd I got toilet paper for days. Oh, you do. Days. So I found a script that scans Amazon fresh for delivery windows. Oh nice. So I went, I like it run for like an hour,

and then it goes delivery window available. So it just hits it, like it's a little, or does it actually, the computer literally says delivery window available. Awesome. I found it, I did it, and then it kicked, it said, oh, we're out of this toilet paper. Yeah, does that do.

So I said, well, I kind of have no choice. If you don't check, if it's available until the moment I buy it, I have no choice but to load up the card with toilet paper. Right. And the hopes that one of them gets through, because I don't know what's the real inventory is. So now I got like 60 rolls of toilet,

now I'm part of the problem. They finally got me. You know, I don't hold you responsible for either. You waited a long time, I've heard toilet paper. You weren't one of the assholes fucking loading out. Rapping, two loading out. Two months ago walking out with two shopping carts full of fucking ass wipe.

Yeah, let's see what makes me a rage here. My YouTube recommendations now are all Pilates videos. Yeah, I used to have a nice curated section, Red Letter Media, Summoning Salt, Video Game Historian, various shit posters. And the fight all. Fuck it up, it'll fuck it all up. Hot guy, easy peasy was in there,

easy was in there, Justin Wang was in there, used to be perfectly representative of me, fucking three weeks, three weeks with home Pilates. Destroyed Pilates, yeah. Now it's all body by app, so every time I log into YouTube, I get to learn about what a fat fuck I am. And not by choice, by the way, because my back is so fucked up that it hurts to sneeze.

Oh wow. You have, have you not experienced this level of back pain? No. Where you're getting ready to let out a big snott blast, the second most pleasurable activity to man, second only to having an orgasm and you're terrified that the set that you're there's going to be a brief moment where you let it out and experience that bliss, but your back is going to be racked, racked by a medieval, by the medieval torture device that is now your spine. Jesus. This is the level of back pain that I'm now, I'm walking now, but barely.

Wow. And the liquor, the liquor isn't helping. The rain isn't helping because I can't go outside. Yeah. And Lacey, you know, sure, beautiful, attractive fits. Response to me is, oh, it's because here comes the kicker. It's because, well, how'd you hurt your back? What do you mean? I had a bunch of kids beat on it with baseball bats for fun, right? Because I wanted to get the gay demons out of me. So that's what I do. I go down to the church and I have a bunch of kids beat me with whiffle bats on my lower back where the homosexual devil is. As it turns out that doesn't have really

any empirical evidence to back it up. I thought so for a while, but it's, yeah. Turns out, how did you hurt your back? How the fuck do you think I hurt my back? Doing anything. What do you mean? hurt my back? Yeah doing anything? What do you mean? Yeah, I'm 39 bitch. Yeah How do you get so much? How do you get how do you get guys texting you? Yeah, how did you how did that happen? Yeah, it's a native who I am. I have fucking hurt my back. That's how okay?

Probably an exercise you go well what exercises? Okay. Probably an exercise. You go, well, what exercises? Oh man, don't fucking rope me. Don't rope me into this lazy. Is she gonna have like the perfect cure? Custom talent. You're exactly how you want to go back.

Exactly. That's fun. Don't fucking ask me these questions. I grew up with questions that are going nowhere. I know how to spot them from 10 miles away. What you have to do, you have to put your right shoe on first and tie the laces left over right. I put my shoes on like any fat guy. I pick one leg up like a figure four

and I tie the laces in the middle. Next to my ankle, I said, I don't know some kind of fucking some sidekick. That's probably sidekick or something like some kind of fucking one of your moves. Well, who knows? Because you oftentimes don't know you hurt yourself until later.

Yeah, it's not like it happens right away sometimes. Well, who knows? Well, who knows? Because you oftentimes don't know you hurt yourself until later. Yeah, it's not like it happens right away sometimes. And she says, so she's calculating her data, I guess. Yeah, crunch crunching numbers, crunching the numbers and the woman brain. Well, dots pop up, bloop. Cause, oh, well, that exercise shouldn't hurt your back if you do it properly. I reach through the screen. Yeah. I reached through the screen.

I reached through the screen like a portal. And as you can do with your fingers, like strangled or did death. Right. Hey, see, did you just tell me it should have happened if I did it? Right? I mean, talk about literally the least useful thing that could have been said in that situation.

See if I say that to someone who got raped, then I'm the asshole. But you just with nothing, by the way, it's sexual assault awareness month. It is. You know that? No, I didn't. I guess I was not aware of that.

Well, you should be thinking about sexual assault all month. Isn't that whatever he guy does? All the time. All the time. I mean, we're being honest. I know. I hate that. But like when women say like, oh, all guys are rapists. I think they'll, yeah. I mean, in their minds. Yeah. That's why the, you know, no shit. But then you got to go, oh, no, not, oh. No shit. Oh, but then you got to go, oh no, not, oh.

Does that mean all women are whores? Oh, yeah, I don't know this whole show. Oh, God. Let me load up my only fans account. That was her, that was her tip. Yeah, that's a, that's a. He's fitness people. Not very useful.

He's fitness people are such victim blamers. Well, it shouldn't have happened. Well, it shouldn't have happened. Well, that shouldn't have happened. Well, it did. Well, it did. You know, where do we actually turn it out one time? Can we not rewind to before it happened? This is still a problem.

Let me guess, it's never happened to you. Let me guess it has never happened to you like your 20s or how? Yeah, because you're in your 20s. Some fucking, some punk, some guy, some rock climbing asshole who's like 23 or something once looked at me and said, well, you know, age is only a number. Like man, man, if I wasn't so sore,

I would beat you to death right now. I'm in front of everybody for saying that. But the problem is, I mean, the problem is I got only so many more impacts on these risks before they're just shot. I really don't want to waste it on you. I don't want to waste it on you. I don't want to waste it on you. I really want to.

Uh, yeah, yeah, ages just a, yeah. Age is just the number. Oh, yeah. You know, just like money. Yeah, that's the number. Right, right, right. Right. Lucy Wilde's tits is like if I had a groundhog's day situation,

I would just relive that day over and over trying to get her to not do it. Yeah. Just whatever, like when he tries to save that guy, that bum who dies. Yeah, right. He'd get some soup and stuff. Right.

I would get her to its soup. I would take them to a whatever nice bath. I don't know, I don't remember that part of the movie. What a, yeah. I don't remember what part of the movie. What a, yeah. I don't remember what he does. Right. Takes them to get sued. Why is the food, yeah.

And they're like, then he, oh, get her a new brazier. Performance mouth to mouth. Maybe this. Performance mouth to mouth. I think we're mouth to mouth on her tits. Anything, anything. But ultimately, I guess that you just have to accept it.

Right, that's the one that's been used to be good about. He couldn't fix. Yeah. And I couldn't fix it either. Even with all my considerable resources, I just, if I had known, I could have done something about it. I could have learned whatever Slavic language that she speaks and tried to do something about it. But I have to live with that, the rest of the, that I did nothing about it.

But maybe you couldn't have, that's the lesson of that part of the movie. Maybe I couldn't. Maybe you couldn't, that could have been beyond your, your powers. Yeah. Well, it is too bad. But, you know, I'm gonna start some kind of like charity. So who's replacing her? I don't know.

For you, I mean, you talk about Hitomi, right? She's different though. Yeah, that's a different profile. Sure. I don't know. I don't think there is any replacing her. Yeah. Well, like your grandma, you know, you got two grandmas, but they're both very different. Yeah, that's terrible. here's what else it makes me, Rach. Bill Gates is, do you know about the vaccine implants that they're gonna put in us, Sean, to carry your vaccination records?

Have you heard about that? I have heard a little bit about this. You have heard about that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The plan to either, what's that asshole's name? Fucci, Fauci? It sounds basically like Satan. Fauci.

Fauci, yeah. We're gonna have vaccination ID papers to carry around, to prove that we should be outside. And then Bill Gates chimes in. Bill Gates who makes the operating system that is barely, barely functions. You know that guy. The guy who barely crawled over the finish line.

Yeah, it's wild like how... It's wild how shitty those things are, isn't it? Yeah, like, but I know that you're filthy rich and that you made the computer accessible to everyone, but you didn't do like a great job. Like you didn't know, you did a barely okay job and everyone kind of pieced it, everyone kind of just learned what control all delete was.

And that's like control all delete and control S where like the mo, we just use them compulsively so much that I still do. Even though it's automatically said, that's you. And you're putting computer RFID chips, you're pitching biometric chips to put into and to everyone, like the end of the Bible. You're pumped to break on that one, you fuck you for I'd cock sucker.

If I'm the day, and I know it's coming. It's all, I know it's coming because people are still terrified even though no one's dying. Even though it's only a New York problem, no one anywhere else is dying. Everyone's still fucking terrified. Well, it's, what, 21,000, but 8,000 only a New York problem, no one anywhere else is dying. Everyone's still fucking terrified. Well, it's, what, 21,000?

But 8,000 are in New York. Yeah, 8,000 are in New York. 12,000. Yeah. A lot. Oh, no, it's, New York is, again, New York is far and away the worst. New York caused 9-11. Thanks to New York, we have the TSA.

I'm just so fucking tired of compensating for New York. So New York loses a couple buildings and now everyone has to get some, and everyone has to get some minimum wage jockey's gloved fist up their ass when they fly. I can, I don't know if I feel about the TSA is the first fucking government thing I would defund. I mean, it is a license to steal and invade your fucking privacy.

New York, you can think New York for that. Oh, I guess so. Oh, so I'm a bin Laden. He didn't do that. He just took some buildings down. He doesn't want more. He didn't want more security. Yeah, that's the last thing he wants.

That's the last thing he wants. Yeah, he was completely wanted attention. Right. If we just had, he was very pro civil liberties. If we would have pumped a brain, if we would have had one less gay rights parade and one parade about Osama bin Laden and how great Islam is,

and maybe you should check it out, there wouldn't have been of 9-11. Well, you know, it seems so obvious now. This is, this is martial law now. This is martial law thinking. This is quarantine thinking. All I'm saying is I'm tired of having to do shit. I don't wanna do because of New York. Oh, I know you are.

I'm really fucking tired of going, I've, there's no way, there is no chance of terrorists ever hitting LA. First of all, because, first of all, you couldn't tell. Yeah, we dropped a dirty bomb downtown. Who the fuck, who would know, you couldn't tell. Yeah. We dropped a dirty bomb downtown. Who the fuck is? Yeah, who would know? No one goes downtown.

Yeah. Oh, did you wipe out those bombs? Oh, man, you stopped the typhus. And you stopped the spread of typhus. Thank you so much. Yeah. How are you? Did your guys get their dirty bomb stolen from them?

Yeah. When they went downtown to set it off? Probably. Probably. Did their white van of peace get car jacked downtown on spring? Doesn't have any rims anymore? Yeah We drove the dirty bomb downtown and the wheels were stolen and it got impounded Yeah, because we parked it in the wrong spot. We hopped out to get some filuffles

They call those some have been letting. We just hopped out to get some filuffles and it's gone Fucking things going guys read the streets signs. They make no fucking sense. Yeah. Yeah Street signs says it was okay. The cop, they just fucking reported us. It was 401. There's no one was driving down second. You gotta go fucking back to the cave and create another one. You know, Samo, we need another dirty bomb.

Yeah. Why? Oh, L.A. Fucking L.A. I told you not to go to L.A. It actually, because the first one went off in 1000 Oaks, we were driving it to, we were driving it, we were trying to drive it to LAX, but the traffic was so fucking bad. On 1000 Oaks, some old Jewish woman rear ended us and set off the dirty bar in the

valley and no one cares. Well, all right, we'll ship one out to you right away. No one fucking cares of terrorists in LA. No one. No one. And the rest of the country, get fucked. Worst thing they could do is just throw fentanyl. Go to the nearest Walmart. This is the terrorist attack in America. Go to Walmart and just dump a barrel of fentanyl outside and those fat pigs will jump off their rascals and army crawl and gulp down the fentanyl

like hungry hungry hippos. Oh, that's a terrorist attack. That's a terrorist attack. That would instill terror in me. 9-11, don't care. Fuck it. But now we've got the TSA. Thanks a lot.

Again, virus, it's New York only. Now we have to walk around now I'm getting microchips implanted under my skin bill gates microchips you know and here's what makes me a rage about it this is what makes me a rage about it I do not want anything implanted into my body until the n word is safe to say in every compare and every capacity until the nightly news opens with what's up and till the nightly news opens up with what's up my n words i am not getting shit implanted into my body because the second i say can you say the n word on the xbox no then bill gates is not getting anywhere in my body

period that's you know what i'm fine with that policy as soon as as soon as chase period that's you know what i'm fine with that policy as soon as as soon as chase says as soon as uh... this is it's from this is from the real o g's at chase bank what's up my n-word every single piece of spam yo yo yo n-word then it's safe to start putting stuff in my body and till we're done nickle and dot dicking around with language policies you're not getting shit inside of me. Because the second you do, the second I start dropping bombs

on my own personal space of any kind, not just the end word of any kind, everything gets shut off, and you fucking know it will happen. You know it will happen because every Google, Google and Apple tracking your whereabouts to make sure you're quarantining. Oh, great.

What else? I know you guys like, I know you like. I know everything starts looking like a nail once you've made the hammer. So what's next? Not good things. I'll get the chip. I'll have the papers that I have to take around papers, please. But

you're given, but we're done with this dumb and word conversation because it's fucking stupid. Yeah. Again, everyone who has a problem is a fucking more honest. It means a fucking anything. We don't problem with that. We don't problem with this versus problems. We allegedly can deal with. We don't concentrate on the, we don't concentrate on the real thing. No, we're taking gay back. If I'm getting a microchip, I'm using 90s slang again. Yeah. We're going, we're throwing it back. Yeah.

But you know, that's just my opinion. Sure. Let's see what else I got here. 80s girl got a new tablet. Really? She's a teacher, right? Yep. She does the teach at home, she's getting out.

Yep. She got a new tablet right? She does the teach at home, shit now. Yeah. She got a new tablet, and I'm like, aw, awesome. I'll stand in there. I'm trying to not be too excited about new gadget. I wanna fuck it, right? Right. Ooh, wow, take that, look at that. Oh, nice, nice, nice.

Pull it, plastic off. Oh, that's nice. It's all men are all men are rapists. Oh, yeah, I wanna fuck that tablet. Let's see that fucking tablet. She gets tablet out and puts it in. I see the plug, and she goes, oh, yeah want to fuck that tablet. Let's see that fucking tablet. She gets tablet out and puts it in. I see the plug and she goes, oh yeah, there's that plug. Oh, yeah, unwrap that, unwrap that fucking twine around that.

Unwrap that little twine around that. Twisty time, twisty time. Let's get that unwrap that, unwrap that cord. Yeah, she takes it and doesn't do that and just puts it to the side. And I said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's this, what's this? That's like, yeah.

What's this, what's this? I'm looking like fucking wimpy and pop by. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's this? What's this? That's like, yeah. What's this? I'm looking like fucking wimpy and pop by. Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's going on here? And I said, hey, hey, hey, hey, what are you doing? Pop that thing in, plug that thing in. Let's see what's happening. She goes, oh yeah, I just wanna read the manual first. I said, what?

What do you mean? What are you talking about the main? What's that? It gets this little pamphlet that comes with devices that you and I said, I said, wow, this is why domestic violence rates are going up 40% in quarantine. This is what in the hell are you?

Are you, give me that fucking thing. So I start tearing into it. I go, I hook it up and go to her computer. I go to plug it in. She goes, oh, I don't have that port. I don't have a USB on the computer. I have a USB-C and not the rectangle one. Yeah.

So I started drinking. Yeah, I can't fucking, I can't fucking take. This is too much. This is my limit for the day. Yeah. A brand new device. I don't think so. You ever experienced women reading manuals before? Sean?

Can't say that you have. No, not off the top of my head. Um, it's sexual. Do you want any COVID stats? Here's some interesting stats for you. 52% of people under 45 have lost their jobs. Yeah. Cause in New York. I'm just saying, of people under 45 have lost their jobs. Yeah.

Cause in New York. I'm just saying, shouldn't they be doing their own, like why is there, should they be doing their own fucking pandemic preparation from now on? If I lived in New York, I would want, I would insist that the city did it and not the federal government. You know, it's not a bad part.

I don't want Trump wasting any fucking time thinking about New York. He's got bigger shit to think about. I don't benefit from that. Fuck you guys, fix your own shit. Pat your own people down. Fuck, fucking you figure it out. We got other problems over here.

The virus isn't one of them. Yeah. A medical doctor on the news said every coronavirus patient that is admitted to a hospital gets $19,000. So because the feds said they would pay for it. And everyone put on a ventilator gets $40,000. So, where's that from? Dr. Set it on the news.

Doesn't it make sense though? Dr. Set it on the news. Doesn't it make sense? We'll pay for itled on the news. Doesn't it make sense? We'll pay for it. We'll pay for any treatments. We'll pay for it. Oh nice. I'm gonna fucking treat my, we got a lot of, I got a,

how many ventilators we got? I'm gonna multiply that by 40 grand. I'm gonna have to look into this one. Well, you think people that are dissimilar to me are running hospitals? I guarantee you somebody's going, oh yeah, how much? You put a guy on a ventilator, were you 40 grand? You better fucking roll, I'm gonna call,

I'm gonna call every hospital I know and get as many ventilators here at ASAP. Let's go. Okay. I put myself on a ventilator, just for fun. You should, yeah. You're hoarding ventilators, aren't you? 40% increase in domestic violence.

That's unbelievable. I'm not surprised. I'm not surprised at that. Because you know how women are, you mean? I mean, yeah, pretty much. Oh, that means a lot of men are getting their ass kicked too. That's a shame. Yeah.

I'm not a... There's no doubt. There's no doubt. That had no, that, I mean, that had to skyrocket. Men getting their domestic violence. Yeah. I think it actually is, that's pretty good. Only 40% increase. And you stuck together all day. All right. You think that's a lot, right? Like if you were, it's a lot. Like if you, if everyone was, it's suddenly stuck in a casino, I think the amount of gambling addicts would shoot up tens of thousands of a percent. What else is there to do?

And you get, yeah. That's what I'm saying. But only a 40% increase in domestic violence? You could look at it that way. It's probably, you know, you better look at the money. I mean, it's products. Actually, I don't know. That's not a bad way to look at it.

Let me see, maybe I'll read some comments. Oh, I got Bernie. I got a study on magical beliefs. Speaking of domestic, speaking of women and domestic violence, here's a study that this is a cause. Is that? Four studies explore gender differences in magical beliefs, specifically examining whether

reliance on intuition accounts for women's higher magical beliefs versus men. In studies A and B, women's higher magical beliefs were accounted for by measures of reliance and intuition. Okay. Study two demonstrated that an intuition induction heightened men's magical beliefs versus a control group. So they were able to make men believe things by inducing reliance on intuition,

by like conditioning them to imagine dreams in which they imagined something that was about to happen. The testers? Yeah. Okay. They induced intuition in them by making them picture shit. Yeah. Okay. They induced intuition in them by making them picture shit and then they had them make decisions and they were able to make men think more magically. Really?

I think that's what this means. But not women's. They were not able to do that in women. My reading on that is because women are already thinking the maximum amount of magic that they can. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ha ha ha.

In study three, a lot of them, I mean, when you hear really mystical, weird ass shit, it's almost never coming from a man. Well, also when you get them together, you will never, you will never hear a woman say, ah, that's a little too far for me. I don't know about that one. It's just like, oh yeah, my dog can also tell the future. And actually, it's because I was married to him in a previous lifetime. And then I don't want to say, oh yeah, totally.

I know that's true because I was at that wedding. I have seen them up the ante. Yeah, because they're already at the max. In study three, women, but not men, exhibited more suboptimal choices in a lottery task. After suboptimal means worse. Perse. Perse.

Yeah. A woman wrote this, so it's very, you know. Well, that language is a little gentle. Yeah. I'm telling you, man, if we let microchips get inside of us, and the N word is not allowed, we have lost it all. I will.

It's me with an N flag. I will, I mean, right on the shirt, right on my shirt. If I can't go into the doctor's office, and I mean, past even sensitivity too, fuck that shit. I'm talking about an implanted microchip. Women but not men exhibited more suboptimal choices in a lottery task after imagining that a dream told them to do so.

So they were told to imagine a dream where you are to do the lot to make a dumb choice. And then here's a choice, what would you make? And they made the dream choice. Just by thinking about a dream. That would not even, yeah. Yeah, so it kind of means like if you're hitting on a chick, you should prime her with weird intuition and dreams and say, I had a dream that we met and we sucked my

cock tonight. Like that's something that, I mean, that's what the study says, right? If you prime them with dream imagery, like tell them they had a dream, they will make a dumb choice based on the dream. You just told them to imagine. It seems like it would do nothing but up your chances. Yeah. How could it, it couldn't hurt. Well, it couldn't hurt.

No. I mean, you don't get your dick sucked anyway. These studies suggest that reliance on intuition. A hundred percent of dicks that don't ask don't get sucked. Yeah. That's a good point. Oh, Bernie. Bernie's out. Uh-huh.

Bernie's out. Bernie at all. Feel bad. I feel bad for all the Bernie bros. Yeah. They're going to, uh, the Democrats are, are they're, they're thinking 2024.

They, I don't think any of them think they can win with Biden. Why would they, it's a dumb strategy to run Biden then? If they're thinking 2024. I don't think any of them think they can win with Biden. Why would it, it's a dumb strategy to run Biden then. If they're thinking 2024, they should run somebody who's similar to who they want to run. I think they, I don't know, I think they don't, I think they just want to make sure that Biden is completely off the table and out of their party fun forever. Yeah, like I do. I do. I mean, that's the only thing I can see in that mother of a-

I think a mother of a- Try to string a sentence together. Yeah, there's some problems. There's some even. No, it's not. I feel bad for the Bernie guys, but, you know, they don't listen. Like they won't, the reason that, like they don't listen to anything. They don't say, they just don't fucking listen.

I found one graph. Hold on, let me bring the graph in. They don't listen to what you say, you can't do free college because the reason college is so expensive is because of the free loans. And then the college is just jack up the prices to meet the supply of the money. That's like, this is basic shit, you can't do that,

you're just gonna make the problem worse and then we're gonna have hype. Like, it's gonna fuck you guys, you guys, it's gonna, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, all right, you wanna listen to that. We can't do Medicare for all because it's the same thing, no, no, no, wait a second, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna,

I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna,

I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I. Well, yeah. Yes, big. Yeah, it's big. You say, well, you guys gotta pump the brakes on the socialism shit. People in the Midwest fucking hate that. The things that you're promising to these low information voters,

they already get that for free. Like in the ghetto, they get free Madison already. Like you go, no, no, no, we didn't like, okay, all right, so fucking fine. Enjoy it then. So, I've done more money into it. You fucking un-listening, you know listening, Prix. Here's what I wanted to bring in.

I still feel bad for them though, because everyone wanted to see Bernie. I just like when he gets on TV and starts talking shit. Oh yeah. Like he's fucking right. But yeah, corporations, if this bailout shows anything, it's that companies just got a shit load of money.

And people don't even have their Trump bucks yet. Oh no, and it doesn't seem to be a rush on it. Oh no. By the time you're getting that check, it's gone. Oh yeah. Long gone. Sure. Sure.

But whatever. Here is why Trump succeeded in, here is a graph of trust and mass media by political party, right? So how much do you trust the media based on who you vote for? Here's a Republican. It's said 15%. Yeah. So you trust the news at 15%. Meanwhile, here is the Democrat sitting at between 70 and 75% huge. So surprise, surprise, whatever they say about your guy is what you guys all think. You might want to work on that. First, you just might, might might for next time Start spreading the idea start spreading the news that what you're he's seeing on TV

Might be a bunch of bullshit, which at time and time is again, maybe maybe Maybe if you want anybody in if you want anybody on in your on your ticket Anybody in there, if you want anybody on your ticket, who isn't lauded by the media, who isn't riding with Biden, who isn't riding with Biden, maybe start floating the idea amongst your friends, maybe take that one part of Trump's campaign that the news is bullshit and start spreading it. Because whoever they pick, why wouldn't 75% of your guys believe? Why wouldn't you emulate winning strategies? That's what that's that you're supposed to take it's like, oh, look at okay, right? I mean, the winning parts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't mean it doesn't

mean the pussy grabbing parts. Just take the parts that are winning. Yeah. You fucking idiots. Yeah. What they want. Yeah. It gotta have it their way. I don't know. I got DuckTales gay dads too. You wanna see that one? And I wanna have some callers in. I can't wait for Medicare versus Dick round two. I mean, I think we're seeing, we're seeing everything that I've said

and when I talk to Medicare medicar on the kill stream, that debate, which wasn't really a debate, like I obviously virus is bad, but governments have killed more people than the virus. Oh, ever will. Historically? Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, the virus deaths are an act of God, but being killed by your government is an act of another God will That's wrong God doesn't do wrong. He just does Men do wrong and it's preventable. God's just kind of incompetent. Yeah Happy Easter everyone. Happy Easter Happy Easter, everyone. Happy Easter. At least you let us take it,

at least you let us take them out that one time. Um, for a little while, crying about it. It is, it is, feel like we were doing well. Yeah, I'll let them kill me one time. I'll shut them up. Just a token. Okay, let me find this, DuckTales Gay Dad's thing.

Don't patronize me, Jesus. Ducktail's gay dad's. All right, this is, it's dumb. Okay, this is easier. These are new ducktails. Come on. Give me, get the fuck out of here. Everyone wants to hear ad block.

Here is, okay, now I have a problem with this. Okay, I'm not sure you think. No, no. Okay, this is, this is the new Duck Tales character, I guess, on season three, you know, they rebooted the Duck Tales. And these are her two gay dads. At least I assume so because the child in the show, maybe she's a junior woodshed. Yeah, that looks like a junior woodshed. Yeah. The two men, this is a much too sexual look

on this pelican by the way. But whatever, I don't care about that. There's two men who are her dads, and they're both wearing shirts with arrows pointing to the other dad that says, I'm with dad. Unless Launchpad McQuack is wearing a shirt that says female body inspector in the next shot, I have a problem with that. Okay. I don't care that the dads are gay. Right. But

if we're going to reflect reality, I have never seen two gay men wearing a shirt that says I'm with dad pointing at another gay man at a children's event. Is this? No, there's much more stylishly. Yeah. No gay man, whatever wear a shirt with an arrow on it that says I'm with homo, that has an arrow pointing to the other guy. No. If we're going to start wearing novelty agenda shirts, like I don't think that this is gay either

for a man to be going around talking about how he's gay and he's with his gay lover. Like I don't think that's necessarily a representative of a gay man. Do you? No. I think that it's just a little too much. Oh, you're Mr. Garrison going as a donkey doll like in a goofy slave outfit. That's what I'm with dad. Yeah. So what else is gyro gear loose up in the next scene with a t-shirt that says 41% of trans

conversions, try to attempt suicide? Wait, it's the shirt. It's not that the, you mean it's just, yeah, you're using a, you're using a sledgehammer to kill a fly or, if I had, if like the Irishman asked me, hey, why are those guys wearing shirts that say, I'm with dad, I would say, well, it's because the writer has contempt for you. And so, hmm, you're not asking about the gayness

because that's expressed with, like, remember, Bert and Ernie growing up, there was always kind of that like, I don't know. Yeah, maybe they're gay. I remember thinking as a kid, like, remember, Bert and Ernie growing up, there was always kind of that, like, I don't know. Yeah, maybe they're gay. I remember thinking as a kid, like, maybe they're buddies. I don't know. I thought it was like in the same room, that's a bit odd, but they were the only ones that were always like together.

Yeah. Yeah, they were like, yeah. It's the shirt, that's the problem. I'm with dad. Okay. So our Huey, Dewey, and like, what, how much of their personal, how much of the characters believe so are we going to start putting on shirts? Well, I don't know.

Well, it's, it's obviously, it's the lay, the lazy way to do anything. Like, because you can't just put the dads in there. Well, yeah, but the right, don't make it infer. And yeah, and infer. I just don't't yeah, I don't know how to express it properly, but I get it. I'm with dad like just put a just put gay. Sure. Well, it's like what the fuck are you doing? And by the way, I don't give a fuck if you if your kid turns gay because you saw some gay

guys on TV, he was gay. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. That's the you could make me watch gay porn on an Oculus Rift. You're still going to be straight. I'm going to pop out and say, wow, all that gay sex really put me in the mood for pussy. Yeah. I'm not going to be turned gay like agent like fucking clockwork orange. No, I think the lesson of that movie was that you can't I turn somebody. No, that's not going to that doesn't, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit about that.

I don't give a shit about kids. Yeah. More, hey, in 20 years, you turn all the kids gay, that's more 20 year old pussy for me. You're hoping that this, you wish this work. I wish that work. If you can't turn a kids gay, I would be writing checks right now. Let's turn these fucking kids gay. Mm-mm, mm-mm.

Yeah, this is an investment in the future. Right. But the I'm with dad, little match. I get it. Yeah, I get it. I get it. And I see people are like flipping out about it, but they don't, I don't think they know how to put

their argument into words. Like, oh, this is fucking bullshit. Like, yeah, it's bullshit because no one, no one has ever worn this shirt. If someone was wearing this shirt, I would say, get the fuck away from me with, like if somebody was wearing a, um, C.I. Well, you know, I already said it,

the female body inspector would. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a lot of stuff to talk about this week. Let's read some comments. Okay. Does Webby have an only fans? Is she pahoed? Is she plugging her only fans?

Is Webbygale on there going, A, by the way, Huey, Dewey, Louie, check out my only fans when you get on. Like how much reality are we? Because I got a feeling, do they call, does she cry? Does Mrs. Bigley cry every time screwed Jels Satter?

Cause that's reality. Does Webby not put lids on shit? Ha ha ha. I mean, did the boys go, shut up, you dumb bitch. Every time she picked, they're picking and choosing. They're picking and choosing their spots. They're picking and choosing a little bit, right? Yeah, sure.

Let's be represented. Does Screwed have six hose on standby. There's the bill, is the billionaire flying in fucking flamingos to blow him at all times constantly. Turn the kids gay, I don't care. I don't think you can. No. I don't think so either.

You can turn, Lesby is a turning straight though. Lockdown? Merley. Yeah, Lesby and Z so either. You can turn lesbian's attorney straight though. Lockdown? Really? Yeah, lesbian's, there was some article, some stupid trick wrote, I'm a lesbian, but in lockdown I started having sex with my roommate. And a bunch of lesbian's got all pissed off. Oh, oh.

That's not how lesbian, yeah. Yeah, okay. We all know that's how they work. Blow it out your front hole. Let's see here. Yeah, that's about all I've, that's about all I've got on that one. Launchpad, female body inspector.

That's funny, because he would do that. Amos de McDee. You're with him. You're with the horse, eh? Right? Not bad. Pretty good launchpad, not bad. Thanks.

Are 13% of the beagle boys causing 50% of violent crimes? Hahaha. The Scrooge come on, say that. Oh, these fucking Beagle boys, you know, he we doing, Louis. Yeah. He's old man. I am sure I'm sure Scrooge has some opinions on socio-economics that he's holding back. He grew up in a different time.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, as a Scotsman. Yeah. As a Scotsman, I'm sure he has, I'm sure he has less, less varnished opinions about the Vigal Boys than he's letting on. Perhaps.

Perhaps. I'm with dad. I'm me. I'm with dad. I'm me. I'm gay. Mm-hmm. Me too. I'm me too on the other one. Yeah.

Just put that. Why not? I mean, it's funnier. I don't know. Is it an over, I don't really care. No, I don't care. No, I don't care. It's dumb that it chose to do that.

I don't care at all. It's just something that you rightly pointed out to make fun of. Yeah. Like that's all it is. Like it's to do that. I don't care at all. It's just something that you rightly pointed out to make fun of. Yeah. Like that's all it is. It's like, it's a cat. Yeah. I'm with dad.

It's wearing that. I know. And they both teamed up to do it. Right. Okay, so this is a game, this is a gay relationship with two bottoms then. Okay. Yeah.

How do you explain that to your kids? How do you explain the fashion choice to your kids? Right. Hey, how come that to you guys two dads? They're gay. Why are they wearing that shirt? Can't, I can't explain that to your kids? How do you explain the fashion choice to your kids? Right. Hey, how come that took us two dads? They're gay. Why are they wearing that shirt? I can't explain that. I don't know.

I wouldn't wear that shirt. And I'm from... You're trying to make me wear that shit. I can't imagine why another man would make another man. Why two men would opt to wear a shirt? I have no idea. You only see morbidly obese white trash take that photo at Disneyland. Yeah, like, you know, I'm with stupid or I'm with, you know, whatever, like those.

I'm stupid. Those shirts. Yeah. Tadad, how come with their shirts says I'm with dad? I mean, they are a trailer trash, I guess. I don't know. I can't explain it. They don't act like it, but you'd never see two gay men. Son, you'd never see two gay men wearing those shirts. I don't act like it, but you never see two, you'd never see two gay men.

Son, you'd never see two gay men wearing those shirts. I don't just, I mean, you just don't get it. I don't want you to get a bad idea. Like gay men don't know where to what to wear outside and that they're constantly promoting their, that's not how it is. Right. Right. They're just like, they're just like all of us.

They're just trying to get their digs checked. You understand? By other men. Right. Now women. Good talk, son. Run women good talk son run along to kindergarten. Anyway, I got a video. Go yeah my sister sent me a video. Yeah, they've got one of those cameras outside their house.

Yeah, it's the little I've been riding a bike. And he runs his bike right into a bush out of nowhere. Oh god. That was hilarious. These like starts screaming. Ha! Are we going to watch it? No, no, no, it's too intimate. It's just funny. Okay, let me get some too much, too much. I mean, it's, it's, it's funny when kids crash into things. Long as they're not fucked up, but it's, you know, it's, yeah, it's, it's funny. It's funny. It's funny because you're like, you're coming a mile away. Oh, no, I know, it's, yeah. It's, it's funny. It's funny. It's funny, because you're like, having a mile away. Oh, no, I know. And like, for some reason, they just can't,

they can't swerve. They kind of freeze and just keep pedaling. You're like, it's in women. It's funny when they get here. On the middle of a field, he's gonna hit that fucking tree. It's gonna 150 yards. 100 yards.

50 yards. Too many a time to make a course correction, but no. Dead center right into the oak And then they fall over and they're not even off their bike. They just fall over I think I have a nice list Corpse coons you as far as soda. Yeah, can I have one too? Thank you. Get me a slightly larger one than Sean, please. Good luck, Corpse, good.

I am luck with that. You can't get the lid off a slightly larger one. I'm a 26 year old trans man. Trans man. Yeah, trans man. Trans man. Yeah. Yeah.

I'll say trans man. I say trans man. I'm a 26 year old transman. And I have been developing an eating disorder since my gym shut down. Good. Oh wait, so that means you were a woman and now is a man. Right, a transman.

Eating disorder meaning too little, too much. I mean, my eating disorder is I bulk up on snacks and chips, I get drunk and I eat it all. Dude, that's quarantine. Yeah, I'm working out, however I can, but I'm just fucking eating whatever. When I say, I can't work out. Because everything is fucked.

My shoulder is fucked. My back is fucked as I already talked about. That may sound bad, but honestly, I'm not looking for anyone much less you to talk me out of it. You're but honestly, I'm not looking for anyone much less you to talk me out of it. After you're in luck, I would never talk any kind of a person out of an eating disorder.

No, and you're also, everyone is grotesquely fat and should be ashamed of themselves. I shower with my shirt on. In the dark. I sprayed detergent on the inside of my shirt. I put it on and then I get in the shower and slap myself because I'm so gross, to studs it up, and then I take it off.

There you go. I've always been obese, the result of an obese family, and constant overfeeding. Yeah. Oh, really? Is there a fault? Well, I've always been obese. You're obese because you're fucking eat too much.

Yeah. I'm always obese because. You're obese because you fucking eat too much. Yeah, I'm always obese because my, I drink because my family, but it is a thing where parents, the whole, the lot of parents overfeed the fucking kids and feed them bad shit. Yeah, coach said that. That he grew up and it was,

yeah, he associated food with love. Like you're supposed to, thank you. Oh God, that hurts so much. Here you ego. Thank you. I've always been obese The result of an obese family in constant overfeeding which led to habits which followed me through adulthood typical Suari a few days You know it's a trans man because a woman would have that would have been a whole paragraph. Oh, so he well It seems like the transition worked. Yeah, that's passable.

Yeah, I don't care about what they look like, but if you can tell a story about your past that's a sentence, you're a man. Yeah. A few days after my gym, shit down, I started purging and then heavily restricting my diet. So far, while everyone around me has been complaining constantly about bloating up due to boredom and general lack of self-control, I have managed to lose 13 pounds in less than

a month. Wow, good for you. Hmm. Hmm. The lack of food has also stopped my reproductive cycle. Does that mean you can't make semen? Mm, I don't think that's a trans, like a full transition. What do you mean? Some man's.

Well, still has periods of, they shoot, come out though. That's what happens when you get a, never mind. Something I get it. I don't think that isn't a problem for me at all. The only downside so far has been that I have been sleeping a lot more. Man, I've been sleeping and just not being, I wake up tired as shit at fucked up times. Oh no, I know, that's it. It's all, yeah.

I'm writing to you now because I can think of no one better to encourage me to continue. That's while family and friends complain about how worried they are. You are definitely, you are definitely a man. What? You want encouragement. Well, it just says like, yeah, I know he's gonna tell me to just embrace any extreme behavior. So yeah, pretty much, pretty much whatever happens in this quarantine

is just a two over. We're all just gonna walk out on a silver and say, man, I don't remember nothing happened. Yeah, there's just pause. Yep. Yep. Isn't that what we're, I guess? No, the fucking, here's something else that makes me rage.

There we go. There we go. Too big to fail shit. I know. Like, do people not understand that if airlines go bankrupt, they just, someone else just buys them for less money. Right. Like the fuck, the people,

worried about socialism, right? Yeah. Like the stock, the shareholders, it's social, it's complete socialism for the right people. But this is why it pisses me off that the Bernie people won't listen to guys like me who are saying this is what you have to do to win because they're totally, they're 100% right

on companies just getting massive amounts of socialism. Oh my God. Like the share, so the shareholders own the stock. Yeah. And then somebody comes, they go bankrupt, share, so the shareholders own the stock. Yeah. And then somebody comes that they go bankrupt, they can't pay their bills or whatever. Yeah. They don't take all the planes and dump them in a volcano.

No. They just put them in receivership or whatever. And someone comes in, pays the, an adets for a negotiated amount that is the actual market value of what they are and continues running the company. Yeah. Like they just, hostess, hostess is still here. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Yes. They're still making it. Yeah. Toys R.S. is still there. Yeah. They still, the planes are still there. Yeah.

They don't repo them and take them and throw them in the ocean, like bird scooters, when it goes bankrupt. They just sit there. Did you do that to a bird scooter? No, I only took them back to my house. I follow one of the Instagram accounts. Somebody threw them into the ocean. Those are all gone by the way.

It's pretty funny. It's like, well, so why isn't bird scooters getting bailed out then? Like, they just sit in a fucking lot. Somebody comes in, pays pennies on the dollar. All the shareholders, they still own the company, and the employees get a bunch of money. It's just so fucking infuriating to see it happening. The Dixho prevents rape. Did you see this email? I think it was sent to both of us. Yes, yes, I did. Pretty good one. Hey guys, please don't read my name out loud. Why would you not want,

unless maybe he's the rapist? You know, I didn't think of that twist, but now I'm sure of it. He's not reading my name out loud, but don't hesitate to read this on the show if you're alone. Maybe he's like content. You know, I was gonna rape someone, but then I thought, and I decided not to do it. I heard you say on the show, don't do illegal things. Yeah, okay. All right, I heard you say on the show, you have to decide whether or not you want to do it. I heard you say on the show. Don't do illegal things. Yeah, okay.

All right, you say on the show, you have to decide whether or not you want to do something illegal. And then I decided, no, I didn't want to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I usually change his mind. I usually go out for night walks as my cardio during Marshall light, Marshall law or Marshall law. That's what we're calling it. That's a good one.

Well, re-listening to the show last night I was listening to the infamous episode 150, which included the whole road rage Australia fuck up. When I spotted a gorgeous woman with decent cans, all right, screaming at the top of her lungs, whoa, with a look of intense panic on her face. It was pretty close, damn. See all that.

From behind her, a greasy tower, oh, Slur machine, April 12th. Enigma Slurring machine, can't imagine what word he substituted that for, but it's not my problem. April 12th was, you know how the Slurring machine works? Every day it gives you replacement words, and then you can go back and time.

Go and see what it, okay. All right. Shove her, a towel, shoved her on the ground and started pulling her pants down in the middle of the street. Damn. Where's he live? He doesn't say.

Like Bel Air, you think? I mean, upper west side maybe? Probably. Lincoln, Nebraska. Yeah. Eugene Oregon. Bel Air. Where do you think he lives?

Hey, was it Jack Nicholson? Those panties off. I gotta have my Laker games. It's going crazy. I pushed the guy off of her. And I raped her instead. Wow, did not see that coming. I pushed the guy off of her and he ran behind a nearby building.

Yeah, huh, really? Do you need it? Yeah, that's right behind the building. Pull her pants down in the middle of the street. I pushed the guy off of her and he ran behind a nearby building. Wow. Hey you, get your damn hands off her. the street. I pushed the guy off of her and he ran behind a nearby building. Why are you? You're damn hands off her. You got the wrong carmen fly.

You really think I had a swear? Yes, God, how funny would it have been? Damn, it's what. Yeah, if he went ran up and said that. Yeah. Hey, you get your two hands off her. And she's like in the middle of getting raped. What the fuck?

Yeah, this is why you want to, uh, he blew it. So he blew it by not saying that. It's kind of a long line. That's why it, so he blew it by not saying that. It's kind of a long line. That's why it's so funny. He's like trying to get his pants off to do the raping, you know? Yeah.

Hey you. So the guy runs behind a building. Yeah, my six foot to 200 pounds body builder ego made me think that I scared him off. Wow, do you grab him? Probably did. Only to be brought back to reality when four armed men started walking towards me.

I'm no Rambo. I'm no Rambo, so I bolted like a maniac until I lost them. I see you left the chick there to get the gang. Yeah, four dudes with weapons. Sean, there's no price to pay. There's no price to pay. There's no price that's too high.

That's too high when it comes to women. All right, I believe that. Well, and everyone needs to know that I believe. You know, I mean, she probably shouldn't have been out. I'm a public exercise wrong. Not quarantining. Yeah, good point. So what you get for an victim blame?

That's what you get for being out during the quarantine. I'm at, I'm quarantine. I'm it. I'm it. I'm it. I'm it. I'm it. I'm it. I'm it.

I'm it. I'm it. I'm it. I'm it. I'm it. I'm it. I'm it. I'm it.

I'm it. I'm it. I'm it. I'm it. I'm it. I'm it. I'm it. I'm it. I'm it. I'm it. situation like a man at least before a little bit, which in my book makes you the best Mexican dick. Well, wait, did those guys, where the fuck does this guy live? Yeah, he should follow up.

Like, Somalia? I don't know, man. Seems like right out in the middle of the street. Nothing too crazy, but I thought you might get a kick about knowing that one of your so-called rape apologists show listeners actually stopped the rape of a woman. I mean, deleted, it sounds sounds like how's that for?

I delayed it. Love the show. Love the show. Go fuck yourself. Road rage Canada. When he's in Canada, I heard that. Oh, there's a lot of streets like Jesus, man. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh, Jesus. That's how you get that's terrible and it's absolutely hysterical. Fine, fine for standing in the street. Hey, Dick, I got a 250 euro fine for standing in the street.

Oh, where is it? He's in Belgium. Yeah, I'm in Belgium. Plus, the police officer was a real bitch about it. No, that's what makes me rage. I know I broke the law, but don't be a bitch about it. It's not like I was physically harming anyone. Yes, you were. You were in the imagination of people. You were harming them. Just give me the fine and fuck off. My girlfriend is now hysterical about this because she got fined as well. So the government doubly fucks me.

Hey, Dick, I was asking my roommate why he hasn't cleared out the washer dryer yet in the last couple of days. Our washer dryers in the garage, which is about six feet removed from the house. It's been raining all week, even right now. And there's Epsiloner says he doesn't want to step out of the house because it's a little chilly and he doesn't want to catch the virus. He heard some guy, he heard some guy got the rona from jogging.

He said he went for a walk a few days ago and his throat felt a little iffy and he doesn't want to risk anything. It's, fuck my life, I'm just trying to do laundry. So it's roommate one to one. It's in the garage. The virus is. The fucking dryer.

It's hiding in there. See people walking around, like with people without masks, but have like their shirts pulled up over their faces and like stuff like, it's like there's nobody on near them. It's like they're fucking like preparing for fucking fast gene or something.

Like it's not crazy. It's yeah, that's not what any of this is about. It's not, that's insane. That's insane. Yeah. I fucking, I told us so. Okay, here's some advice. Advice.

Hey Dick and Sean, don't use my real name, okay. Okay, I have worked at a store for four years. I found out from a coworker that everyone in the store fucks the shit out of each other when they aren't at work. Oh, wow. Where you are? I'm gonna store it as this, yeah, this is a horror store, a horror factory.

There are tons of hot broads around, and I just assumed they all had boyfriends. Why the, who cares? Well, you're left out. Seems like. What kind of thinking, you assume they had a boyfriends, they're not married right? I mean look for rings

Yeah, and even then fuck it like who cares? I understand if you don't want to pursue married women But you can't really be a scumbag. I can't assume that everybody has a boyfriend though And even if you do who can who fucking? Because there's no right. Yeah. It's a whole point of, you're doing him a favor. Your penetration testing his relationship for him and taking a hoe off his hands. I mean, just look at it that way. Right.

I just assumed they all had boyfriend, so I never really tried to flirt with any of them. Oh my God, you really? It's a really flirting nonstop! It's a really defeatist attitude, assuming that they all have boyfriend. Yeah. Like you've already just gone,

so many levels below. Yeah. Very low, very low energy, very low testosterone move. Basically, my question is, how do I insert myself into this fuck ring now after being out of the game? For the four years I've worked here,

PS, I'm 21 and 300 pounds and a virgin. Go fuck yourself. We really hit us with that all at once at the end, huh? Yeah. I think they, well, you gotta lose a hundred pounds. I mean, let's start there. You got it, well, you got to lose a hunt, you got to lose a hundred pounds. I mean, let's start there. You got to look, you got to stop eating, don't eat ever again, don't eat until you have sex.

That's my, just drink salt water. Fast for 30 days, drink salt water, so your brain doesn't get fucked up from lack of minerals. I think that's how you're supposed to fast. Okay. But yeah, I think you might be, and then you gotta change your thinking, man.

You gotta get rid of all these weird rules that you're imposing upon yourself, thinking, imaginary boyfriends. That's, that's wild. Assume they have a boyfriend's power through it. You gotta lose weight, buddy. Yep. You'll feel better about yourself in every way, I would think.

Yeah. I always think that the thinking follows the weight loss too. Oh, sure. Like, you have these negative thoughts that kind of turn themselves into reason. Yeah. Not the other way around. Like, I'm fat and no one wants me, so they all have boyfriends, why not?

Yeah. Let's see if anybody wants to call in. I told some people with weird, get rid of the gunt. Punt the gunt. That's your job. Pretty good. That's how you get into the fuck ring. Punt the gunt, put it on a shirt.

Punt the gunt. That's on a shirt. Punt the gunt. That's it. Punt that fucking gunt. Get it out of there. Get it the fuck at everyone can wear it on the days that you don't wear your arm with Dad shirt. Who wants to, anybody wanna call in about weird stuff? I know a guy wanted to call in about meeting an alien.

Oh yeah? Oh, Asher wanted to call in too. Asher. Hey Asher, are you there? We talked to Asher. Hey, alien. Oh yeah? Oh, Asher wanted to call in too. Asher. Hey Asher, are you there? We talked to Asher. Hey, can you hear me? Yeah. Yeah.

That's good. Asher's a big, big communist. I'm sorry, your guy, I'm sorry, your guy quit. I'm sorry that Bernie, your guy, lost against someone who can't pass a touring test. Yeah. So, Asher, you know. You didn't give Bernie any money, did you? No, the only three candidates I donated to, I knew weren't going to win.

Mike Gravel, Mary Ann Williamson and Andrew Yang. You gave them money? Not much, like one dollar to Gravel, $3 to Williamson and $3 to Yang. So I was a lot, oh, I mean, for fun. It's nothing. Let's not, let's not say it's not a lot. You just gave it to it for fun. Yeah, yeah, why not, you know?

All right. So you're, how do you feel about your guy dropping out? I mean, I guess it's kind of expected. I didn't expect you would do it this quickly. Yeah. Me either. I thought he would kind of stick around. But I just like use the platform of national exposure to like promote his ideas.

Well, on the one hand, sure, but he wasn't even getting much exposure. You know, like every time Joe Biden would do a press conference where he would half hazardly spit out a few words about coronavirus. Bernie was having daily talks with experts about coronavirus and how to mitigate the disaster. And no media organization is covering it. I mean, you kind of got into it earlier with Democrats trust the media too much and the

media doesn't covering Bernie Sanders. They really do. Yeah, the Democrats don't covering Bernie Sanders. They really do. Yeah. Yeah. And the Democrats don't want Bernie Sanders. And they didn't want him last time. They didn't want him this time. I mean, I mean, the party.

Yeah. Do you feel betrayed at all by like Yang and like instantly endorsing Biden and hop in on the news? It was weird with Yang. Like I kind of had a respect for him. I don't really have a whole lot of respect for him now. Williamson. Williamson still fine. Grerville, I'd never expected to go anywhere, so it's kind of hard to say.

I don't respect him. Let's see. Yeah, I guess the only person who had any integrity in the race were like Bernie or Williamson, you know? Yeah, I don't know anything about Williamson, but Bernie, yeah. Bummer. Anyway, you got anything that makes you a rage this week? You're right too often and it makes me mad. Don't fucking don't blow his ego up anymore.

Of course I'm right. I have a tyrannical government on my side. Sean, you don't understand. Like I've been talking with Dick this whole like primary process. Yeah. And I've been like, telegib, it's like, I've been asking him. It's like, oh, do you think Bernie has any chance? And he's like, no, no, but he's not.

He's like, no, no chance. Well, no, but that's, you know, but I think that was fairly easy to see. That's not the odds. If you went back and put money on Biden, you would have made five or six times your money. I never thought Bernie was had any kind of a chance. Because it's like people who are very like-minded and like Bernie, they get in this echo chamber

like everybody does. And you think it's like California out here. It's like, oh yeah, yeah get in this echo chamber like everybody does. And you think it's like California out here. It's like, oh yeah, yeah, it's like, no, man, all you have to do is mention the S word and nationally people's assholes tighten up. What's that about socialism? Yeah, what? I'm down below.

Yeah, it's not about socialism. Right, it's that, right, right, right, right. And so it's like, no, there was he never, never had a shot. Like a bailout of canoe, you know, like Sesame Street. Right. And like, anyway, sorry, good. I was gonna call in today about labor activism. Okay, let's hear it.

In a kind of, well, you were right about that too. That's the problem. You said, well, good luck striking or whatever during 20% unemployment. I'm on Bernie Twitter. I had heard about some strikes going on. In Chicago, there was a domino's store that had a walk out. You want to know what happened to them? They all got fired.

They hired some new people sure Shit goes on. They heard about a Strait an Amazon strike in New York. One know what happened to the guy who organized it. They fired him. I did start An angry mob an angry mob of your neighbors killed him because he's working with the enemy Uninvisible virus as soon as as soon as Trump started throwing around invisible enemy of your neighbors killed him because he's working with the enemy, an invisible virus. As soon as Trump started throwing around invisible enemy, you know, you know, you know, you know to shut your fucking mouth, because you will be killed. And so like, you know, I had seen all these kind of smattering of, oh, well, maybe strikes

will start happening. Maybe we can kind of grind the economy to a halt to like get real change developed. And no, that hasn't been the case. You know what I'm like about that. Yeah, that is so depressing. Like, now we have like the national symbol of, you know, the left or labor activism Bernie Sanders.

He dropped out of the presidential race, you know. It doesn't look good right now. You know, like there were smattering in my warehouse about maybe organizing a strike. They haven't gone anywhere. No, and if they didn't, and if they did, I guarantee, like if I participated, I'd just be fired, you know? Yeah. No, I know. It's horrible. Well, I'm safe that you're right. That's by rage. I'm sad. I'm sad that these bad things are happening to you, but I am glad that I'm right. Once again,

I believe you on both things. This is exactly right. All right, as you get out of here, thanks for coming. I see you. I like that a socialist listens to this show. I think, again, I want to help the people. This audience is, I guarantee you, is a lot wider than what one would see probably by the

people who interact mostly. Yeah. I think you get all kinds of people listening to this show. There's tons of hot chicks, tons of hot chicks. They're all in the piano streams. No shit. Yeah. Oh man.

Right there. All right. Does anybody else have a goofy story? Where's the fucking alien guy? Yeah, I want to talk to the alien guy. Goddamn it. Did I fuck that up? Let me see if Gator's got anything.

Gator. Hey Gator, you there. Hey, what's up, bud? What's up, man? Anything make you rage this week? Ah, aside from the lockdown in, oh, what I'm doing right now has been a pain in the ass. All morning, I have been trying to do this one destiny to strike. Aside from the lockdown in what I'm doing right now has been a pain in the ass all morning

I have been trying to do this one destiny to strike. So there's this like weapon that you get if you complete like the hardest version of this one particular mission. Yeah, and Normally you're supposed to do it with like three people, but I have to do it solo because the people that made the game have run everybody away again. Oh, is it destiny? The game destined me to yeah. Yeah, is it destiny? The game? Destiny, too, yeah. Yeah. I know.

I only ever hear bad things about it. I tried to play the first one, but it was so fucking boring. It just felt like playing the same thing over and over again. I mean, that's kind of how it goes. You build up a clan and you just run the raids over and over and over again to the point that they just grab second nature. Yeah. Um, where are you?

Do you ever say that? Where do you live? Are you guys locked down? Let me just ask them. A Florida. Oh Florida. Oh, it's a fucking free for all, isn't it? Yeah, what's going on there?

Oh, it's an absolute shit show. Mm-hmm. Are you locked down? That's because nobody, oh yeah. Yeah, we've been locked down for a while, that nobody gives a shit about the lockdown though. They didn't give a shit when spring break was going on. They not giving a shit now.

Heroes. Those are heroes. Sean, those are all constitutional scholars like me, all those people party. Yeah. But the first week of the lockdown, the roads were pretty much deserted. And then the second week, people started to slowly crawl back out. Yeah. Now, they're just like, whatever, if I die, I die.

Yeah. That sounds right. Yeah. If I die, I die. Exactly. I don't know, man. I know that I'm going to hang out for the hurricane. It's all good.

I would. Yeah. Yeah. People do it. All right, Gator, get out of here. I see, I see, I know Mark the cook wanted to call in. Do you want to plug anything first? Where you go?

Yeah, actually, I do have any interesting quick story. Go for it. So you're asking for a really weird ass story. So back in 2005, I had a major assignment that I had to do. And I decided to take my power nap. So before a major assignment, I'll take like a three hour nap or something like that. The hell's a major assignment?

Like an assassination? Yeah, you mean a major assignment? Yeah, yeah. a three hour nap or something like that. That helps a major assignment like an assignment. That's a six hour nap. Yeah, you mean a major assignment? Yeah, yeah. Are you like part of the major award? NSA or something? Well, I was like, it was in high school. Oh, okay. I had like this huge project I had to do.

And I was like, oh God, I'm so tired. So I made sure to snap like when I got back from class, it was due the next day. And I started, I overslept because my alarm didn't go off. Wow. And it sounded like somebody told me to get up. And so I was like, huh, that was do the next day. And I started, I overslept because my alarm didn't go off. Wow. And it sounded like somebody told me to get up. And so I was like, huh, that was weird. And for some reason, I thought, I was like, you know, I'm going to turn my phone on and record and just see what happens. And when I came back upstairs and listened to the recording, I sounded a little weird. It's something like this.

What was that? Do you know that one me to play that again? Yeah, play it again. Play that again. Play it again. What was that? Do you want me to play that again? Play it again. Play it again. What was it? What was that? Well, I decided I would slow it down and listen to it and it sounded like this when you slowed it down. What was it? What did that say? It sounds like somebody's either saying get up or get out. Get out. Okay, go ahead. Now see, my parents house, which I was staying at the time, because I was in high school still, no one had owned that house before. It was built and my parents moved into it. Okay. And so there should not be any sort of like weird, creepy murder suicides that happened in the house, you know, like a hundred years ago. Indian burial grounds. So like Indian burial

grounds. No Indian burial grounds, nothing like that. Oh, I see. Do you believe in that, like coast to coast shit, like cryptoids and ghosts? I love, I love that Do you believe in that like coast to coast shit? Like, cryptoids and ghosts and stuff? I love that stuff. I love that stuff. I live for it. That's why I thought when I, I, yeah, something woke me up in the middle of the fucking night and I'm sitting there and that my first thought is,

I'm gonna, I'm gonna record a C-F-I-C-F I can catch an EVB and of course I fucking did. Yeah. Of course. And EVB, they're breathing in a lot. Let's say squat. Yeah, let me be like, electronic voice phenomenon.

Yeah. Gator! Play it again. Oh, yeah. Play it slowly though. Sounds like good out, Sean. It does what he plays out. He's saying good out.

That almost sounds like, it sounds like electronic interference. You got it. The first one was just like, no, no, it's not electronic on the fears. That's a voice. If I thought I was being haunted, I would aggressively jerk off and walk around naked. Right. The ghosts can't go anywhere. The sand worms eat them up if they leave the house. That's right. That's right. Everybody knows that out of here. Thank you. Thank you. Let me see. Mark the cuck. Where did he go? There he is. All right. What's he doing? Mark the cuck. Are you there? Hey. There he is. Hey, what's up? Hey, did you send, you sent me an email, didn't you? a dedication to be here. Hey, did you send you sent me an email, didn't you?

I, yeah, through Twitter. Yeah, didn't you send me an email a long time ago? Yeah, like three months ago, it was, it's kind of like half joking, half serious, but just kind of making fun of Maddox for being such a cook, but saying that he's still worse than people that actually practice the fetish. Oh, yeah, I remember that. I'm trying to find it. So you are a practicing cuck. That's correct, but I'm not here to defend it either. It is a bad thing to be. How did you, how, how, what, how did you become a cuck?

What about it do you enjoy? You don't have to defend it. I don't, I mean, it's more curiosity, yeah. Definitely. I hope this can be, obviously, I'm going to get a little left out. I want it to be enlightening. So just to explain it in plain English, think of me as like the addicted cigarette smoker, I know it's bad for me, but it's enjoyable at the same time makes sense. Yeah. I mean, women are bad for you, but I enjoy them as well. Do you marry? To Shay, to Shay.

No. You're not married. Are you dating anyone? Currently, but I've had like normal relationships, probably had about a dozen sexual partners, normal partners. And how many times have you been cucked? In real life with me not intending it to happen probably about twice. Not intending it, what about intentionally?

The other 10, yeah. No, Sean, those were normal relationships. It's relatively healthy. Right. I probably maybe a dozen times or so, but that was primarily over the internet. What do you mean over the internet? Like them talking to other guys

or taking pictures and stuff like that? Oh, yes, sort of. So just kind of deviates a bit from the official definition of a cuckold, because like the official definition means like a girl you're already dating, cheats on you or whatever. Okay. So the looser version of it is basically you pay for a hot woman to go out and do those things with another guy. Oh, I see. And then yeah, and then they're like kind of tease you about it or let you watch them a little bit, something along that nature. So it's all consensual by the way,

like everyone is agreeing to their role. So you pay, you pay a couple to go out and let you watch, or you pay some chick to just go out with another guy that you don't, that who doesn't know him and fuck him. Could be either or, I tried it from both angles. Have you ever done it with someone you're dating? No. No, I'm not policy enough for that.

Have you ever floated the idea to any of the girls you're dating? No, I'm too much of a worst for that. To be honest, when I have been dating, I was just happy enough to be in a relationship in the first place. I was like, I'm not going to screw this up. Oh, man. I'll go out I'm not gonna screw this up. Oh, man. I go, I try to screw them up constantly. Other ends of the spectrum.

What do you like about it? As a real cuck, what do you like about it? Well, it just somehow became like an aphrodisiac. Like it, I guess the humiliation part of it creates like a strong arousal sensation. That's the best way I can explain it. And just like sitting there, imagining that it's happening and that you're paying for it is arousing? Exactly.

But I guess it gives you a chance to interact with a girl that would otherwise be out of my league like, you know I'm not the best looking guy in the world that don't have the most social skills. Neither does Harvey Weinstein He's not the best looking guy in the world. No, he's still got tons of money. I don't have as money or as influencers power either Well, wow, I know they don't know that No, it's just like he's just wired. You know what I mean? He wired, he wired. Oh, differently. It's like, why do the weirdest things get some people off?

So it's like, you know, I remember wear a shirt that said, I'm with dad pointing to another guy. So you were saying Maddox gives cucks a bad name. That was what you originally wrote in. Absolutely, because like, if you're into this thing for better or worse, that's not an excuse to treat people around you like shit and screw other people over like that.

It's what an asshole. Sounds like victim blaming. Yeah. And you do think there's something inherently wrong with it? Yeah, because it opens you up to, I mean, there's a people that are a lot more addicted to this than I am, but it opens you up to being like financially exploited and abused. Like, there are stories on the internet where people have like sold their house, go to a bank, rupte, run up six figures and credit card debt, and so on and so forth over this

kind of fetish. You're saying objectively, it can hurt you. Yeah. I understand that. So we have an actual practicing You're saying objectively, it can hurt you. Yeah. I understand that. So we have an actual practicing cuck saying that there is something inherently wrong with it. I have seen some of those.

I have seen some of those like, like an addiction type thing. I mean, in that case too, if you're putting your house up in sin Jesus. And the other end, I think legitimizing the kink has led to a lot of the thought problem that that hoe over there problem or wherever you call it. Yeah.

Or women, I guess sell themselves on only fans or whatever. It creates a lot of bad women. Their egos get inflated. They never learned like how to have a real job or personal responsibility. That's right. Fucking hose. Yeah, I see those guys will post about how they sent chicks tons of money. I think Chris the Kiwi even bought some bitch a laptop and she stopped.

He seems like the type that would be in the room. Yeah. Yeah. Get her a laptop or he can fuck and fuck. I think I'll have a bitch and fucking threaten to cut her tits off everywhere she goes. He wants her to be more portable. There's gotta be some kind of like,

cock Olympics, like how, because these guys are dumping a Poke main, some bitch, some thought online. I saw a conversation between two guys talking about how they were falling behind in their rent. Like they were both even married. And they were falling behind in their rent. They're both even married. And they're falling behind in their rent, but they got to be in her squad, which is

guys who are giving like a thousand dollars a month, like insane amounts of money. It's crazy. Now, put yourself in the woman shoes there for a moment. If you know this guy, you're still saying send me that hundred, send me that grand, you are kind of a scumbag at that point. I mean, you're already evil in your womanliness. Like so we're talking about a new level of evil. Men and women do not have the same spectrum of good and evil.

That's key to understanding them that like what a man, what men discuss as the spectrum of good and evil is not the same, slightly different, slightly different with women. Not unlike, I think not unlike the different between sociopaths and or psychopaths and actual and real people. Now that's interesting. Are you gonna explore this Cuck fetish

with your next girlfriend? Can you go on Fet Life and meet, just remember that Dick had who wrote in and said you could meet wild chicks and people on Fet Life. Do you remember that? Bagley. Yeah, yeah, he wrote, is saying Fet Life.

That's where you go to meet like chicks who were into wild stuff. Really? Are you gonna go someplace like that and try to meet chicks who are into this? It seems like you could. I've been on the site before, it can happen, but I mean,

this would be honestly, most of the people that would sign up for a site like that, they're not the most desirable people either. A bunch of fans. Physically, or just like, just their personality, they're, no, the word weirdo can mean a lot, but they're fucking weird, okay. Yeah.

This is coming from a cox. What did you think about the movie, Cuck? Do you think it was represented? I didn't see it. Oh, you know what? I have not seen it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

What do you think is, how do you think this happened to you? Where you got this? I can only theorize, but my best guess would be like in as a kid, I was kind of like bullied a lot. So maybe, maybe my brain cells got crossed or wired the wrong way when I started to go through puberty in my best guess. So what other guess would be relatively low self-esteem,

struggles with low self-esteem and depression? Re-bullied by men or women. Probably both at different times, you know, actual physical bullying from men where you'd be like the physical intimidation and maybe in high school, like just girls kind of laughing at me, like it would adored what it nerds.

Fucking God. I should go be a public high school teacher so I can put these things. If I could go back to high school now, like knowing what I know now about, like her mating works, how women work. I mean, I would just crush it. I'd be Mr. Alpha, but you know, can't go over again. And would you have guys plowing these chicks that you're althing or would you not have? No, I think I would try and start over and just do it the right way with Elf.

Wow. So you do have a compulsion to do it the right way and not be a cook, but it is really like an addiction. Amazing. Yeah. When I don't have the urge, I have plenty of, I have all the normal hobbies. I watch football. I ride my bike. I like comedy shows.

It's exactly like that. Plenty of street hockey, whatever. It's just once in a while that urge kicks in. And it's like, I just really have the desire to go participate in that. I don't know. Well, it's like, I use that cigarette analogy.

You know, I just have that urge to go outside and catch a smoke. Yeah. It's public school. There you go. How many people get fucked up just by cramming kids together for no reason? Like, we can... Can you get bullied over Zoom? Now, is that... How many mental issues exist because of fucking high school? Because everybody has

to be in the same spot. And people who are, people who are barely above functionally retarded are running the show there. And you're essentially trapped in a unpleasant environment for four years. Yeah, it's the only time... Or just like another student body. It's the only time where people, like if you're not getting your ass kicked at home,

then school is the only place where you're afraid of getting your ass kicked. Like it's a real prison rules, anyway. Well, I don't know, anything make you a rage man, and then I might get up someone else. And just when other guys have sex with women, I'm into, just pisses me off

and arouses me at the same time. Mm. It's got a result in some conflicted feelings. Is it like porn? Like, you know, if Sean, you watch a porn of a guy fucking a woman and you get enjoyment out of that, right? Yeah. Yeah.

It's kind of like, think of it as porn on steroids. It's like interactive porn, so it's better than just watching the video of it on some website. Interesting. Which is part of its addictive nature. porn so it's better than just watching the video on some website. Interesting, which is part of its addictive nature. It's very interesting. I guess everybody is a little bit of a cut. In the same way you can't go from porn back to playboy magazines, you can't go from this back to videos of porn. Yeah, I see. And eight backwards compatible.

It's like no tits will ever replace Lucy Wilds too. Right, or you can't go from watching South Park to watching Bob Sagitton, America's funniest home videos. Like once you've done 30 humor, you can't really go back to clean humor. Yeah. Are you into lesbian stuff? Like what a chick, what a chick cooking up

with a chick turn you on is just a guy. Absolutely. You're into lesbians. All right. Well, at least we can all agree on. a guy. Absolutely. You're into lesbian. All right. Well, that's at least we can all agree on. All right, Mark, get out of here. All right, thanks, guys. Good luck.

Good luck. See you. Good luck. Nice guy. Is the ghost dude around? Ghost dude. I know B cluster has a lot of good stuff. Let's see.

Yeah, B cluster is great. Cool. Hey, there. B cluster P. Hello. Hey, you there. B cluster P. Hello. Hey, what's up, man? Hey, not too much. I like the direction the show has taken.

What direction is that? It's really interviewing cock holds. It was the first. Yeah, that's the first actual Cuck that's called in. I think so. I know I'm going to expose myself

and this is, I really don't want to take a lot of heat for this but i have been aroused by cuckold pornography before uh... absolutely never engage in it what arise aroused how now now i don't know i mean like what was it what what was the pornography what what did you find arousing about it? Um, man, you're really, you're, you're, I think maybe this was a mistake.

I mean, what was it a story? Like, was it a, because you know, uh, shank younger, younger, you remember the guy, shank younger, the guy that, Dom, he pays us the young turks guy? Yes. He wrote, he wrote what is a cuckold erratica on his old blog. Is that right? Yeah. He wrote this weird first person story where he was, he was hooking up with some French woman

on a park bench and like there was a guy hiding in the bushes taking pictures and it was her boyfriend and he thought this is a man who's running for Congress writing this weird, cuckled, uh, porn fetish pornography. Was it like that? I think it's probably actually like I'm more into doing it to the other guy because it's like you have now dominated two people. Oh, I see. Okay. Yeah, I understand that.

I know you wouldn't know anything about that. So, uh, anyway, what did you, what did you want to call anything about that. So I... No, no, no. Anyway, what did you want to call in? What do you think about the cut guy? What do you think he could do to help himself out? I really think it's really kind of... He's going to have a hard life regardless of any type of specific type of advice. I'm not...

He does sound like he is being sincere. Yeah. Like I, yeah, but what I want, the one thing that I want to get you is how is that of the whole coronavirus really affecting your life over in LA? Like are you able to lead your house? Well, there's nothing to do. You can see you. Will the police be called? It's hard to know.

I don't know, I don't know exactly what the police will be called for. Like if they're not wearing a mask, people who are gathering and stuff like that. Like people are out jogging, people are out doing things. You can go to the park. They've closed the parks down, I think. So you can jog in a street. Yeah, well, you can jog, you can jog, you know, up and down the sidewalks and stuff like that.

You can't not wear a mask. The stores are starting to turn people away, if you don't want to know what the law is here. Well, it's, I mean, we're at a spot now where the law is kind of whatever they want. Like you can't, you can't go anywhere because nothing is open. Yeah, you can, restaurants are, they still do curbside pickupide pickup, stuff like that, but yeah, you can't go there

and drive home. You can't go in and gather. You can go to and from, you know, I mean, you're supposed to go to and from the store. It's the whole essential stuff only. But we're like the whole, go ahead. I will say that Justin Zordot was really taking care of mayor. He sent me $4,000 this month. Really?

Yeah. Yeah, no, between me and my lady, he sent us $2,000 each. I actually had, I don't know if I had the coronavirus, but I had some type of flu that was in my system. So I had to miss two weeks by my works, HR mandate. And I was supposed to come back. And it's like, well, if I miss today, I will get 4,000 dollars. And it's like, obviously, I'm going to do that. And I really, I don't know, I'm not an economist or anything, but just giving out this type of cash to people for the next four months. And it's not verified that you don't have to prove that

you need it. How they're setting it up is you have just at the end of the year, if you didn't qualify, you're supposed to pay them back. It's similar. So we did it a bit dumber here where you've got EIDL grants, emergency loan grants from the government, 10 grand, right? If you got any kind of, if you got a business that was set up before the pandemic, go apply you get 10 grand. Then the SBA loans, so the Treasury Department created the Payroll Protection Program and put banks in charge of it who are giving out two and a half times your monthly salary to every employee if you have less than 500 employees and a salary cap of $100,000.

So it's basically $27,000 per employee because you get to roll tax in there. They're sending out ungodly amounts of money to small businesses that may or may like it's not even a question of did you need it. It's just here's your this is what we're giving away. It's this amount. Well, I'm just I'm just I'm just thinking of people that are paycheck to paycheck who are not really exactly forward thinking we're going to see that they can get eight grand over the next four months and just ball pit. And how are they going to actually come and collect that? Because I think there's going to be tens of thousands of people who are just...

Well, they're not collecting ours. Are they collecting yours? Is Canada collecting, taking that money back? I have no idea how that works. I have no idea what the laws are. It's changing every single day. I'll tell you how it works. I don't know if it works. They're, they printed six trillion dollars, at least in the U.S. did, and we're going

to be paying the tax on it forever. That's how, that's how that works. Everybody, everybody in America, every family in America just got $64,000 of new debt that they're going to have to pay the interest on until they're dead. That's how it works here. They don't care. They don't care about pulling it back because they're taking the interest on the debt has climbed so much that they'll be sucking it out of your bone marrow for the rest of your life.

I honestly don't think they care about getting the small amounts of money that they're giving people like $1,200, there's nothing for everybody to to grand four grand. That's nothing. They care about they care about the compounding interest of that that they're going to be getting back forever. So by chain link, I don't I mean, I don't know what else to do. Uh-huh. By Bitcoin. I just wanted to put this out. I wanted to put this out in the ether. This is I feel like kind of a Jeffrey Epstein thing. This is being swept under the rug. They have, I think somebody has taken out Jordan Peterson. I think in outer, well, I don't know what, like he had his own like chemical issues, like

he was a benzoyotic. I'm positive he was also a meth user. But if I saw you having social media like Jordan Peterson is having put out and nobody is talking about this. I don't know why there aren't like tons of articles and the police aren't investigating this. Just a lot of brain damage over in Russia from his benzo addiction from his wife that was supposedly terminally ill. That his daughter has now taken over to social, like if all of a sudden 80s girl was just

now posting on your Twitter. And she is a superhero. Adverse reaction to his medicine and he's in Russia. He's in a coma. Yeah, push. He posted a video of you playing Jim Rummy with another person in a mental institution. Jordan Peterson, his daughter, his daughter has like moved in with a guy who runs like a power source of camhors and is getting. It's one of the most, I think when this all comes out, I really think that this is gonna be like a fascinating

and incredibly sorted and like dark tail. Like I really think as there's yeah and then the fleet wrong in the situation and it's like we don't have a lot of people are right now encouraging young men to like Peter's when it's gone I can't

think of like we have you for now it is just me it's just everybody else either went everybody else either got lost in the liquor or the drugs, like Peterson or went Scott Adams and is just now a totalitarian. Scott Adams is now talking about how we need to figure out what the compromise is between sharing your private data and being safe from imaginary deaths.

I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about, man? Are you are you kidding me? The guy who writes Dilbert wants to create an organization that tracks your every move and what and your vaccination records and wants to give it to the characters in Dilbert. Are you fucking retarded? Do you not remember what the point of your comic was? The bureaucrats can't do fucking anything you pencil dick motherfucker I think he started plowing his hot neighbor and he tries brain turned into mush like it's are you fucking insane? You wrote the manual for why this is a bad idea you idiot you fucking boomer we're watching boomers We are watching an entire generation of boomers negotiate with death in front of our eyes That's what this entire thing is.

Maybe if we, maybe if we set up some systems or do something, we're not gonna die. Please don't let us die. Please kids, we fucked you over your whole lives, but please don't let us die. That has been a longstanding hallmark of the Boomer generation. It's been talked about and written about for decades

about it's the, they are terrified to get old and die. Yeah. All the rejuvenation, the youth, the best shit. It's all them, all of it. The reach that I'm gonna lift forever shit. The constitution people over here like you guys are, but you are really, it really is concerning how we all have to stay in our homes or be arrested. They are killing Epstein, Peterson.

Wait a minute, they're sending cops. Hold on, aren't they sending cops to your homes now to make sure either in New Zealand yeah, New Zealand, in Canada they're sending the police to your house to make sure that you're there you're not ready to say so there's a story and not my problem for the one next to me where they pulled somebody over for speeding

there's three people in the car they individually checked their ideas and because they didn't really know they were all fine when i was told one thousand dollars each uh... no i read so i know in new zealander doing it they're sending them door to door uh... i thought they're doing it somewhere in canada to sending people door to door uh... i can't find it right now but i mean i think that's it's really, it's really upset it. Like it's, it's, you know, it is making me very unhealthy and mentally ill being a

real fucking. Me too. Me too. Not like being ill. Like I'm called B cluster for a reason. I like, I know this type of thing. This is not, this is not good for me. No, no, it's, I'm sure it's not.

Yeah, anyway, man, I'm gonna play a song and then do some voice meals. I appreciate you calling. Calling with some weird stories next time. I know you got them. No, I can't. Man, that years of them just have to soak them out. Thanks for letting me call in. Yeah, see ya.

See ya. It is the, here's some things that we've done complete reversals on, right? That mental health is important. Not anymore. This is not good for anybody's mental health. There's no doubt about it. We're in peak death right now in LA. Something like 60 a day.

60 people a day. Yeah. But I'm crazy. But we're going fucking crazy. Something like 60 a day, 60 people a day. Yeah. But I'm crazy. But we're going fucking crazy. That's a problem and that video games are a problem. Now I'm seeing, oh, everybody's really chilling out with video games. What happened to all you motherfuckers talking

about video games? The rationalization. People are pulling eyeballs out now. It's like, oh yeah, people just chilling out. Oh, so video games are not a big deal anymore now. Oh, okay. I got it. Thanks.

Learn to code, bitch. All right, everybody, this is my dick show. Patreon.com slash the dick show. Check out Sean on that Larry show. Patreon.com slash that Larry show. And it was fun. Larry's fun. Did you go to his house?

No, no, no, I did it from the studio. Oh, you did it from the studio. This is the uncooked bonus up, the uncooked bonus up episode throughout to you put two out of the time or were we going to have who does that? Antoids. I haven't heard from him though. I saw that he was working on it. He does the key, right? He, he finds the differences. Yeah. I don't know if he's, I don't know if he's still working on it. I hope you know. Those are always good. They are. I saw him, Antoids created an exact replica of Maddox's bedroom

and animal crossing. You showed me. Yeah. That's so funny. Did I show you last week? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what does it mean? Yeah, that's very funny. That was good.

Very funny. Okay, everybody, this is the Dixia. This is, this is COVID takeover by the 11th test. Oh no, this is Go Team Virus by junk food king. Oh. I'm team virus now. Yeah. I got no choice.

Well, I know. I mean, I like the underdog. Sometimes you're backed into a corner. I'm an underdog guy. I know. When the virus was exploding, I was for people. I was for the people. Look, we got to, everybody get control.

Everybody got to wash your hands, be it, stop licking things. Stop shaking hands. That's shit is gay. Stop, just point finger guns. I can't wait to shake hands. I'm shaking all kinds of hands. I'm gonna carry around a little damn pancre-chiff

in my pocket so that I can get my hands nice and wet. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But now, but then the government shut everybody down. Now, this is not fair. This isn't fair. Team virus. Team virus, please.

This is Team Virus by Junk Food King. I'll see you guys, see you guys next Tuesday. I'll play some voicemails after this. Go Team virus! Go go COVID-19! Very good. Funny. Go COVID-19!

Give all of the fucking boomers! Short and short. very good and sweet. I'm gonna play another one. This is the 11th Testament. This is COVID takeover by the 11th Testament. Here you go. So you're stuck in my head. Go, go, COVID-19.

Hey girl. Do do do do do. Ah. It's me. Me. Me. I love it when they pan so much that you feel like you have vertigo Auto pan or it's a dangerous thing. Yeah, I feel like I'm an apu Coming at you

Go ahead and wash your hands see if I care I'm in your bed drop your pants cuz love is in the air I'm a rapist virus I sleep on your eyes I rest I'm a desirous I'm like a poth Who are my beat you are a dog and I am a fleet to an eligible should be heard enough to make you see And shoot me a meant to beat Put your ass in lockdown bitch Fucking on your grimmy, yeah that's my niche Oh shit, it's grossy good

Gonna hit it twice, but to know if it should Deep down, I'm starting to catch feelings for your grandma and her snatch Open pussy flaps and gas It's my only guy, a valderly vag And so I'll lick it and add it to my pussy, my najury Oh my god Total domination coming off some placias and every single one of you can get some I'll ramrod my cock and make you swallow my cum This is a new guy Can't clean it up the scum boomers dumb bombs and nuns they can hide but they can't run

China Spain Germany I ran the UK USA South Korea Italy in Japan I'll stop by when I can You better have a better plan Then I'll lock down on your country Or I'll kill your life, Japan AAAAAAAAHHHHH I fucking hate you all Your immune systems are weak

And your defenses are small I break down on your walls I topple over regimes Took me less than four months to kill all of your dreams But then suddenly I'm cast into a pitted despair I'm an unstoppable force, it's not even fair When nothing is a challenge, everything becomes meaningless I wonder if I die, will I even be missed?

I don't even know where to go, went to the top so there's nowhere below Don't wanna live if I'm living plateau guess I should kill myself just for this show, but I don't know. What if I try and I die? Only to find that if I survived, there'd be a time where I would strive, start from the bottom and back to my prime? No, fuck it, depression is done. If I'm not being challenged, that must mean that I won Your toilet paper's gone, and your clinic's overrun I'm the single greatest tragedy since 9-11 I'm the last one to finally remember who I am I'm the virus reason

I'm the last one to be elderly 9-11 I'm the third one to be a life This is how you make a life with life And then I knife her in Deadly cough for the wind Bigger than you I make a bitch out the flow That's why they call me woof-woo Tom makes his hoo I cook them into a stoo You're my that fucker's

And screw that's what they do You think I'm Hala Baloo Kill you and bitch you would do That's what I do You don't wanna fuck with it Again stuck with it Got it good luck with it Take in a look at your country I'm a junkie and I'm drinking every new Ukrainian looking for a granny Hoping I can fuck her in or fanny cuz it's uncanny My ability to get a handy foot in my mouth is taking us there We've been gossiping about some granny while I hurry to vlog And because of the coffin up frogs

I'm infecting your dogs and me retaking a breath and I'm at the peak of my season Wow I'm a little little little little little Killed it on that verse Killed it Something about your dog Fuck your dog. You see that tiger got it?

That tiger was tested positive for a front of us. Yes, yes. Why the fuck are they testing tigers? I don't know. What the fuck? Who gives a fuck if a, what are they gonna do about that? I don't know. What is it?

Uh, if you're a tiger in a celebrity, congratulations. Well, tiger's a celebrity. I mean, help, you know, what's the biggest fucking show right now? I told this girl, a tax man says, well, they told me to get tested because a bunch of people in my building, and she lives in New York, where's people in my building got it? What do you think I should do?

I said, don't get tested. Well, then they're just, then they're gonna know you have it. What do you think they're gonna do then? They're gonna kill you. Just assume you have it. Be careful. I'm fucking giving them that information.

Okay, Maddox made a video about it. I think, yeah, I was gonna watch it, but I don't know if I could sit through when I was doing it on a bonus or something. Yeah, he made it, it sounds like he's now reversed course. Hilariously, always wrong, right? Yeah, what do you do? So remember, when this started, I said it was a big deal

and Maddox said it was a joke, right? I said you're an idiot. It's obviously dangerous. Then the government lockdown happened and I said, uh, this is way, way over. This is gonna cause worse, this cure is now worse than the disease, right? I said, fucking stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

Pump the brakes and think about this, you're behaving rationally. Now he is, I said, fucking stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Pump the brakes and think about this, you're behaving rationally. Now he is, I think, saying it's bad because it sounds like he's reversed his earlier position and says, how hilarious is that? Always the wrong take. Anyway, here's, let's do voicemails. You know what I never thought of this? Every male YouTuber showing for dollars to club at Harry's. Until now, whenever fucking time I click on a football video I get this jackass selling man's Yeah, I don't hear about you shaving your genitals. I don't want to hear your cute fucking puns But don't be cool to the family jewels

These Christ I'd rather have you show me free minutes of men blowing each other before the video even that would feel like a game in this Yeah, that's true Even those ductails, dads, good rage. Five ads, man. We're not landscaping. We're not trimming our pubic hairs. Stop trying to make that a thing. It's not, no one's doing it.

I'm not doing it. You're not doing it. I'm not talking to you. The royal you. We're not fucking doing it. We're not buying Razors. We're not buying penis razors, okay? You're lucky that we shaved some of our face neck sometimes. Yeah, actually I'm maybe if I keep hearing about man scoping, maybe I stopped shaving the neck. Yeah, I don't care. I don't have to look at it

So why don't you just stop? We don't need it. Give me a razor. You give me a razor. First of us aren't shaving the sides of our head, but somebody is. Doug, Tenaipo posted a picture. He let his wife cut his hair. Same fucking shit.

Yeah. Shave the sides. Everything at fine on top. Looks horrible. Looks ridiculous. Well, give me a razor that has a handle that is a foot and a half long so I can shave the backs of my shoulders. That's all I want.

I'm not getting clippers anywhere on my dick, I don't care. Decent policy, thank you. Hi, dick, this is Kusso. What makes me a rage are flicks. I'm a hobby. I run games of Dungeons and Dragons on the internet. And what I found over about the four years of doing this though is that you can never trust people and you can never know that they're flicks until they just stop saying anything and totally goes to you. Yeah. It's just the easiest goddamn thing and it drives me insane. You will have zero indication that you're doing something wrong

or that someone is having issue with it. And you might not know that that's why they decided to leave. But all of a sudden, it's game time. You're making sure that everyone's going to be able to show and offer to Discord their icon in Target. You're not there. You haven't said anything for the past week. And when game time rolls up, you're one person short and you know that you're never going to hear anything from them ever again. Yeah, you know, that's on you. And I don't actually think that's because of my own faults.

I can admit that sometimes I do think it's wrong, but I always say if you have any comments, questions, concerns, or complaints, talk to me about that. No, you should assume that they have them and you should make them. If people are trying to make complaints on you, you have to make their complaints for them. You have to give them, like, am I, you have to come up with a survey, you know, or you'll never get, because there's too much effort for them to voice it. Yeah, that's like presumption. They think you're being polite. You got to say, look, was I to this, this or this? You gotta, one to 10, rate me on a one to 10.

That's what you gotta do. It's, it's, it's very, it's must be hard to keep Dungeons and Dragons going. Cause I flake on those all the time. Do you play? No. Yeah, no, but I mean, do you know how to play? I don't know, you roll dice.

Okay, so you don't know how to play either. I played as a kid, but I've never played. I don't know, you roll dice. Okay, so you don't know how to play either. I played as a kid, I've never played, you've never played. Have people asked you to play? I've wanted to, I've wanted to, but every time, and it comes, it's like everyone plays on the weekend, but that's pretty much the, that's when I do the show. It's always, it's always a problem, and then at the very, I'm like,

they're like, it's like a super big commitment. So, like, it kind of, and then everybody streams, so A's girl can't play. It's like, well, I mean, she works all week, maybe now during the lockdown, I don't know, but it's like having three or four or five or six marriages at the same time, keeping it dungeons and dragons game. Yeah, that's a juggling a lot of plates there. Mm-hmm. A real circus performer.

Yeah, you think two is hard. You're gonna run. Oh, you see. I wanted to open this. What's that? I meant to open it. Well, I was gonna open it. It's a gravestone.

Yeah, I'm trying to find. I thought there was a note, but perhaps there's not. Matt, the, let me get his name. Oh yeah, Matt Cook sent this in. I don't know if he put a note in, I can't find it right now. But this was for the Maddox Funeral.

Oh, that's cool. Isn't that cool? 3D printed, he was gonna say. It was, he was one of the guys from Rotary Jostralia who got the, yeah, isn't that cool? That's great. It's done. Maddox, I, isn't that cool? That's great. It's done.

Maddox, I'm done dude, cracked headstone. It was for the funeral, so I guess we'll save it. I don't feel like doing the funeral after the lockdown. I feel like doing a real proper celebration. I'm with you. I can't, yeah. I can't be celebrating no death after the funeral. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But there you go. The best part about that Maddox video I told you about, what is that he got like 30,000 views on it or something? Yeah. So he's late to talk about something topical and his audience is abandoned him. So he put all this work into finally making a video, something that his fans don't want.

No, no, they want writing. Yeah, I know. So he writing. Yeah. I know. So he'll make about $50 on that video. And you know, he probably spent 20 hours making it. Yeah. $4 an hour. And he, people are saying like, oh, this is a return to form for him.

This is like, this is like his old videos. Yeah, it's, you know, it's got some data and it's kind of humorous But then the best part is that even nailing it. He's still is only gonna make a Couple dot less than minimum wage fucking failure I got to open this other present to him in it Hey, dick. I'm Been listening to the figure of something and I'm first time calling about Doesn't actually make me a rage it is more just more dumb shit people are doing during the quarantine uh...

y'all are talking about clapping for the service workers and the most of the work all across Europe and the sun doing a yeah well i think then for beach on that are howling at the moon at eight o'clock nightly because awesome Where will I don't fucking know yeah cuz where will I fucking couple probably the girlfriend started downtown and now for loop is away across the fucking state is doing it and if you go out at eight you can just hear howling and it's kind of

funny because it's only women and kids howling I've heard I've every time i have a yeah fucking just you know i call it the people are doing why they call it because i thought it came from wolf bites canis loop is a wolf oh really roadway dendr it's

fucking is then for the fact that retardation school here we got legal we'd be here and we just defelomized all drugs. What? Fucking let them upender, Denver bro. Come on. Denver's a fucking great city, man. Like, de-felanized all drugs?

Even Vicodin? I mean, we might wanna check on that, but you know, I mean, he sounds like a drug. He's like a trustworthy individual. I have no reason to think he's lying. I just, you know, verify. I'm gonna drive there with a winnownebago made out of fentanyl, like Cheech and Chong.

Oh, God. With a Winnebago made out of heroin. I'm trying to check the deaths, health, COVID deaths, yeah. Where's that stupid projection site? It's like 21, I think we're at like 21,000 or something. No, I wanna check, no, I want to check Denver, you know? Oh, oh, oh. Because the whole point of flat in the curve

was to prevent overcrowding of hospitals. Correct. Prolong the virus and prevent overcrowding hospitals. That's right. But now people are rewriting it to be, well, it's eliminating the virus. Like, that wasn't the point, it was the hospital. Yeah, yeah.

So now that they're not getting overwhelmed, it should be free for all. People are going to, you're probably going to get it. Yeah. Yes. Right. Yes. It's not too vaccine-prevents it. Oh, yeah. Lockdown does not. No, it's going to continue to cycle through. Right. That's right. You and I know that. Yeah. People doing it, the cops dragging people out of buses for not wearing a mask, they don't think that. They think the lockdown is meant to stop it now. That's probably true.

I'm trying, I just wanna see how many is in Denver. Death's per day. Oh wow, 30. Unbelievable. Oh zero, zero on the ninth. Oh wow. Oh, wow. Really, how shall you support all those 50 people projected total? Bit underwhelming.

Let's see here. Oh, yeah, here's a good one. Hey, Deke, you're Sean. Sean's on VP. They're a real simple rage. But fuck me if it isn't a huge one. I love his calls me to Arrages drop in your perk set. Oh, damn it. Well, no. Oh, no I had a good night last night about me. I'm gonna do the do you bear rule?

Well, you just kind of coast on three beers. Why did that four times over? Oh Pretty good. That going to have a lot. Pretty good. That's a way from the morning. I try and get your blame chart out. Get some perks set out because I saved my fame. Those for when I eat them. Right. Not having best mortar skills.

I'm not going to do it. Oh, there's my rate. Them. I'm going to perk set. Them. Perksets. Did he say I dropped them down the tour? How many did he have in his hand and how many, like,

like, but I mean, like, all of them? Did he lose them all? You think he's just pissing? If you're pissing and pouring perc sets in your hand, you deserve that. Oh, that's brutal. Yeah. Dropping your pills down the toilet.

He probably ate them too. After that, I would eat them. Unless it's slid down the, where you couldn't even get it. Well, it's got that catch. You know, toilets have the sewer catch. Oh, no, no, yeah. I know. It is going to be down there. It's just can you get your hand in there or an object

or something? Get your kid in there. Before fucking dissolves and then... Before the candy shell dissolves. And how long do you, I mean, I would say you have to wash that for more than 20 seconds. I just eat it right away. Yeah. Stereo. Depends how bad you really wanted. I mean, if I'm jumping them out while I'm pissing, I can't even stop pissing before the perk is that's out. I think you need them bad. Yeah. Fair enough. Let's see if I'll do one more. Hey, Jake, I'm two feet. So, this will make me a rage.

Our business is a considered an essential business, right? But it's apparently run by a bunch of robotic idiots who like to follow rules or bat bit of no matter what the sense they don't make even if it was other people at risk for this stupid fucking buyer's bullshit so the other day we get a delivery of welding gas and

this fucking guy comes up to me in the supervisor he's like, hey listen, you can't let the guy come into the building, you can't step on a concrete in the building you gotta he got a got your sort of exchange here of all the welding bottles with welding gas

i'm like uh... a giant our guy well you know uh... you can come to the building because it might be arrested other people now i'm searching metal yes we're going with this. But I don't know if you've ever handled bottles of welding gas before like argon and trim, but it requires physical effort. You can't just, I don't know, you know, move your fucking mind.

So instead of letting the guy use the ability and stand 12 feet away from me and do his fucking thing and exchange bottles by himself, I have to physically hand him the bottles while I'm two feet away from him. I took him on his car while he's staying up side the building, outside the door. I just like to have a fucking soul in the building without an invitation. I told my supervisor, he is a vampire now. He put me at risk for no point. Well, those are the rules and that's what I ask you to do.

I know I'm not being quiet. I'm not worried about it. The only reason you didn't want to let this guy in the building is because you didn't want to do the paperwork to come in which he would have to admit he's from a hot spot and then we wouldn't get the delivery well and guess and i wouldn't be able to do my job oh i see

let's put me at risk and then say say hey we got everybody say it because we kept a virus out of the building fucking idiot uh... that's my right you can ask for all rules and don't fuckin' think about it. So yeah. See, guys who don't fuck wives because they're married, they forget that they're probably

married to somebody like that. Why else would they be down to, why else would they be DTF? Here is a, we got a gift, Sean, this way. This is from New Zealand. Ooh, they're going door to door to make sure you're at home. I've already opened it, so I know. I just want to make sure, I want to see if there's another in here. It's from Ellen Rose in New Zealand.

Oh, you met her. Yes, yes. Lucky you. She's cool. She is cool. She's got a, like a skull beach, a chant arts and crafts twitch. She makes these fucking models that are like, would Skolpe that unbelievable.

She sent us a New Zealand Whittakers, West Coast buttermilk chocolate bar, one for everybody, there's one for you here, what color do you want? Pink, probably pink, that's more your... Yeah, is that my speed? Yeah. That's the pink. Oh shit, I...

Oops. Pink, gold or blue? I love it. I love it because you rarely do it. I love it when you like half-ass and insults that I can... Yeah, you know, shi, he's like the thing. It's like just the lowest hanging fruit you usually don't go for. Wait, why do you...

I don't know, now I'm gonna fucking be really picky. Well, which one? Well, I want to see what chocolate. I want to see what flavor they are. There's like a caramel. Yeah, give me that one. Well, it's Nelson Pearle and Mn. Wait, what, Nuka, honey?

Where's the caramel chocolate? I made that up. Did you? Wait, this is white chocolate. Carmelized white chocolate with gingerbread biscuits. That's the pink one that I said you would like. I do want the pink one. I knew it. I'm with dad right there. Oh, yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Well, you can pick later. She also sent this. This is fucking cool. Card, Maddox lost. It's Maddox throwing up spaghetti. Ha!

It's a spilling out Maddox lost in his spaghetti vomit. That's really fucking cool. Thank you so much for all the years of entertainment, thank you so much for all the entertainment over the years. Here's a Maddox figure. Take off his face to reveal a head full of spaghetti, just like the real thing. Ellen from New Zealand say hi to Sean. Thank you Ellen.

She has a drawing of you sucking a cock under that. That can't be real. Here's the little guy she sent. It's a box with a slime time comforter. Awesome. Can people see this on the thing? Oh, shit. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,, uh oh, I need it. What just happened? I don't know. Is it my stream lab just gonna start? God damn it. Anyway, I'll keep going through this. It's a little box with a slime time, a felt slime time blanket. Oh, that comes out.

Awesome. And then here's the Maddox figure. Let me see if that's that one. That spaghetti on his head, right? Coming out of his head. No, that's his crown. He's got a purple twitch shirt. Right, yeah.

He just shed this down. He's got a purple twitch shirt and, yes, clothes. And you can take his face off like the movie Face Off, like a magnet, and there's a head full of spaghetti in there. Ah, with the sauce on it and everything. Yeah, funny. Ah, it's making me hungry. Thanks, Ellen. That is but, yeah, there's sauce on it and everything. Yeah, funny. Oh, it's making me hungry. Thanks, Ellen.

That is. Thank you, Ellen. Look at the detail. Just look at them close up. Oh, wow. He's like, that's liable and stuff too. That's really cool. Is he?

Yeah. It's like a, it's like a doll that you would find with. Oh, is it a magnet? Yeah. Yeah, that's, that's like a doll that you would find with. Oh, is it a magnet? Yeah. That's awesome. Very cool. Yeah. He looks pretty beaten, doesn't he?

Ha ha ha. His Gorbachev stain on his head's getting bigger in that video. Pretty defeated. I just love, it's just so funny to me that he's making content that people, they don't like it because no one ever likes his videos. They like, they only like his writing. And even when he makes a video, people begrudgingly say is good. Like condescents.

It's like, it's like, if you were to do something and people go, oh, that was actually pretty good. Yeah, I was expecting because the bars so low at this point, they're like, huh, that didn't entirely fucking suck. That he still only makes 50 bucks. Cause there's no coming back from that. Yeah. Like you hit lightning in a bottle

and then you kinda dwindle off to nothing and then you don't climb back up. You have to hit lightning in a bottle. You have to hit lightning, you have to strike gold again. You kind of do. And that's not gonna, the odds of that are like astronomical.

Yeah, it's twice. Yeah, yeah. That does kind of happen. It happens with fame. Sometimes every once in a while, you see it with actors who were like, man, they were like the can't miss like very early in their career, they did a couple of things.

And then they just went away, they just went away. And all of a sudden, then one like Academy Award-winning movie, they're back. And it's like, I didn't even know whatever happened to that fucking guy. Like that's like hitting lightning in a bottle, you know, or again, every once in a while it happens, but God metaphor is, I really mixed up those metaphors.

Anyway, anyway, it's very lightning in a bottle. Is it, yeah. No, it's just lightning in a bottle. You don't catch it. Is it, you really, that's not the expression? I think it just is. Catch lightning in a bottle. I don't think so. Do you, let me look it up. I don't know, I Is it, you really, that's not the expression? I think it just gets. Catch lightning in a bottle. I don't think so.

Do you, let me look it up. I don't know, I thought you did. Catch lightning? Yeah, to catch lightning in a bottle, because it's something that. Catch it with a rod. It's like good luck to, good luck containing it. Or like it's, I don't know.

You're right, you're wrong. No, it's try to catch lightning in a bottle that would be a pejorative. Oh. Or like you're an idiot for doing it. Catch lightning in a bottle means to be a pejorative. Oh. Oh, like you were an idiot for doing. To catch lightning in a bottle means to accomplish a nearly impossible task or to trap something elusive or fleeting. So, okay, so that is the phrase, catch lightning in a bottle.

So now you gotta do it twice. Right, not after. No, yeah. Long odds. Well, at least he's got his Trump books. All right, everybody, see you next Tuesday. See ya. All right, everybody, see you next Tuesday.

See ya.