The Dick Show - Episode 21 – Dick on Asterios

Episode Date: October 25, 2016

Download the MP3 The duality of man, a news babe, a listener fist fight, Halloween scams, scary erotic stories, Reddit backlash, adventures in misspelling in advertising, MadCucks’ new book, viral video school, Astorios Kokkitales from Asterios Kokkinos, and who is a Stalin? All this and more this week on The Dick Show! Smoking like a … Continue reading "Episode 21 – Dick on Asterios" The post Episode 21 – Dick on Asterios appeared first on The Dick Show.

Is that thing? Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Welcome to Dick. You got Dick in your ear. You need dick. You love dick. You want dick. You got it. It's a show where everything is a contest. It's the only podcast that pays Sean, the audio engineer, more than any other podcast. He is on and all without sponsors thanks to you. The big Patreonies out there in the world. Thank you for supporting the show. I am your host, Dick Masterson, with me for this very special Halloween episode is a stereo's coconut. Hello, everybody. Hey, everybody out there. How you guys doing? Hey, buddy. How's it going? We're a little behind because we just recorded the bonus episode. And, you know, that we got to, we got through the whole episode without dropping any guys. We got to it at the end and then spend what the fuck did we do? We spent another 20 minutes talking. I know, I'm talking to this episode.

Once you start taking the goss out of the pizza oven, you just want more goss. You just want more goss. It gets you behind. This show is like the worst train schedule in the world. We just get further and further back. There's so much good shit crammed into one fucking day. We can't fucking fit it. But here we are. Let me tell you what makes me a rage this week. Rise of the jack of

lanterns every, every year. You went. I went. I went last year. Sean, then you're going to tell me how far this activity fell. Okay. Okay. Let me, let me tell you about the thing. Here's the thing with, with chicks. We spend us as guys spend so much fucking time when we are single, going out and trying it like doing whatever, just for the chance to touch a woman's boo. Right? This is, I mean, this is it's Halloween time, everybody. So we all know what's coming up. This is this is Halloween for a man.

Single man. Yeah. Give is Halloween for a man. Single man. Yeah. Give me all the parties possible. I'm going to cram in six, seven parties in one night just because I'm going to talk to every single chick out there. I'm amped up. I'm ready to go. This is the Halloween experience for a not a single man.

Halloween. It wasn't up the truth. I kind of just want to chill on the couch. I don't know. Do you want to do people go out for Halloween? Is that a new thing? I just, babe, I just kind of want to sit around and couch. I don't know. Do you want to, do people go out for Halloween? Is that a new thing? I just, baby, I just kind of want to sit around and do, do nothing. I'm tired.

Let's not do any, this is the dilemma. When you are a single guy, you're anything, I'll go to anything, hey, the LeBraya Torpit is having a look at Moves and drink a, drink a espresso. Do you want to go? Absolutely. Count me in. I will be there and I will try to touch a boob. I'm going to be, I don't care if it's my elbow. I'm going to get, I'm going to get something on a boob at this event. You ever have to go to an art gallery? Sean, is that their friend?

It's a single person. I'll go in. Line him up. I'll fuck it. No, no, no, no. I mean, like, they're launching an iPhone 10 relationship. Oh, but why? Well, you could just stay home. Yeah. This is can. No, you know, you know, you just stay home. You're tired. You just stay home and surf around on drug report all day, looking at that fucking goofball whose eyes lit up when Trump's in Hillary's girl. I'll just watch that guy all day. I watch him for 10 hours a, uh, this is, so this is what, this is the circumstance that is all men. Yeah. Like this is what we do. We get the woman and then y''ll put her in the pumpkin shell.

And that's where you keep her very well. And all of this sudden, your desire to do anything turns to absolutely nothing. And like that is, and I can't imagine how frustrating that must be for the, but so I got roped into going to this rise of the jackal energy, which I stay positive about. That's something I do.

I don't know if you call that, I don't know if you call that just being a sociopath or whatever, but if you give me an activity, denial. I say, yeah, that sounds like fun. 80s girl wants to go to rise of the jackal and it sounds like fun. Well, this is, you know, the way people work, you know how you maintain any kind of relationship

between people, you're just excited to do stuff that you don't wanna do. That's exactly correct. It's got nothing to do with compatibility. It's a given take. It's whatever you wanna call it. It's, you try not to stack it up in your mind, even though you do, even though everybody does,

but you just kinda gotta swallow that, well, I kinda wanna just sit at home and read about the new Nintendo machine even though everybody does, but you just kind of got to swallow that while I kind of want to just sit at home and read about the new Nintendo machine that's coming out, but you know what? Yeah. What the hell? It made me it's fun, right? I've been duped before every fucking Halloween. I get duped. I got duped with Tim fucking Chang going to something that I do remember this story. I went to the haunted horror night. something. It was a horror camp out, Halloween camp out. Oh, God. Two years ago, Tim Chang advised me out to go,

and I think, oh, this is gonna be scary as fuck. It's a camp out in an abandoned zoo. And there's gonna be people fucking where they all be old. L.A. Zoo. Yeah, the old L.A. Zoo. The Griffith Park. Yeah, that's scary as hell.

This is gonna be scary as hell, right? It's gonna be like a real horror movie. You're gonna, the instructions said, like also make sure you bring shoes because you could be running. And I'm like, whoa, all right, man, this is gonna be cool. Chicks are gonna be amped up.

I'm gonna get my elbows on some boob. Hi, that was tonight fellas. I'm gonna get my elbows on some boob. I show up and it is a, it looks like a refugee camp. Like it is, the tents are lined up, 200 tents long, 200 by 30 by 60 tents that crammed as many tents as Boston. It's like Occupy Halloween.

Yeah, Occupy. Oh, it even worse because it's so uniform and safe that it feels like a North Korean re-education camp. Like even in the Occupy protest, there was some energy. Yeah, there was. Like there was some randomness that would cause excitement and energy, but this was just like boom, North, like Kim Jong Il's pants suit, Kim Jong Un's pants suit straight down the line, did not have a good time.

Did not have a good time. That was my experience for Halloween duping. Same thing with the haunted houses. They do a most extreme haunted house. What do they do? They pour bugs in your mouth. That's what you sign up for there. They hold you, they pour bugs into your mouth.

That's their version. So this rise of the jackaland is I think, oh, you know what? People get way too into Halloween. And they're like, they make cool pumpkins. That's like a, that's a thing that goes around every year. You always see on the internet, check out this fucking pumpkin that somebody carved. You think, wow, look at that cool pumpkin.

Yeah, I can see, I can see something that might be cool in this event. It's got a trail. You got to show up at a certain time. It says a trail, right? Sean, you went to it. Where was yours? Where was yours? I believe it was in Pasadena somewhere.

Somewhere outside. Yeah, it was like a farm like a little bit spooky, maybe to get you in the mood a little bit like a hay ride, something like a rural, something to make you think like, ooh, there's spooky demons hiding out in the shadows all around me. Well, guess where it was this year in the underground parking structure at the LA Convention Center. What the fuck? So a place where there's not a stop security a place that is in the middle of one of the most densely populated areas of Los Angeles. A place that is dead. Nope. Not dead in the way like there might be spooky zombies around dead in the way where I'm

walking through the rise of the jackalandas and I can see the fucking numbers in the parking line. I can't believe you guys didn't call that off like knowing where we didn't know it was. I mean, I assumed they would try to make it fun wherever it was. I didn't know it on the ticket. It didn't say it's in a fucking parking structure. Like bring your tennis shoes because you're gonna get oil, bring your shitty gym shoes

because you're gonna get a bunch of oil on the bottom of your fucking shoes. I wonder why they couldn't do it like the farm places, it was like a garden, save money. Why, what else could it be? Like they couldn't find a field anywhere in Southern California to put this in.

So they put, rise the the five thousand pumpkins, right? Five thousand pumpkins. Well, you got to figure that's pretty cool. These people take this really seriously. We used to have Roger Barn on the show and even though he wasn't funny, at least he took at least he took Halloween seriously, right? I mean, every time he was on, he was a standoffish prick about everything. Every time we had him on the show, but at least he took Halloween seriously, so he could

talk about it. And that was interesting. I think maybe these rides are the jack-a-lanterns, guys. They're going to take some of that energy, put it into some cool art. You know what I fucking see when we're walking through? These pumpkins are carved, what you got, uh, Star Wars pumpkins. And it's not the old one, it's the new one. Oh, you got Dr. Strange pumpkins. No bullshit. There was a pumpkin. This is, this is what I'm

paying to see. This is what I'm paying $30 a ticket. It says Dr. Strange, it's carved under this pumpkin. The logo for Dr. Strange and then underneath that in theaters. Oh, wow. Now let me show you this. Let me show you this fucking thing. Because that's not the worst part of it. This is nothing like what I went to. Sean, you tell me, you read me, you read to me what this pumpkin says

and this is 5,000 pumpkins, right? You read to me what that says. Read a real fucking carefully. Read a real carefully and tell me what I just paid money to go into a parking lot in downtown LA. Check that out. You tell me what that says.

Dr. Strange in theaters November 4th. Up, give it another shot buddy boy. Give it, read another shot. I didn't say it. Marvel up top. Nope, keep going. Give the whole thing another read. Marvel.

Dr. Strange. When is it? When is it going to be in theaters? I said November 4th, 2016. Go through that letter by letter. Oh, unbelievable. No, Vemmer. No, Vemmer.

Wow. Vemmer, so they are charging me to go in and read advertisements carved into pumpkins, they can't even get the spelling correctly. No, Vemmer. I mean, you're telling me that nobody caught this and they couldn't ditch, they couldn't number one, just ditch that pumpkin. Like, ah, we fucked it up a little bit.

Like, let's not wreck the experience, do it again. Let's do it again. It's a pumpkin. It's a fucking pumpkin. These people paying 30 bucks a ticket to come in. You can't do another fucking pumpkin for me. Not a, can't throw it away. It looks terrible.

It looks fucking terrible. Can't throw it away because Marvel paid for this. Right? Because now they figured out they're not making a haunted house experience, they're making an advertising. Hey, we tricked all these fucking morons into reading ads that are written on pumpkins. What do you guys think of that?

You paid $60 to be advertised to great, great time. Thank you. Another fantastic Halloween event. Ha ha ha. to great, great time. Thank you. Another fantastic Halloween event. I, um, I, nothing is truer than what you said about being in a relationship and not being excited for Halloween. I think that might be the truest that you've ever said on the show. People are out, because I, I'm in a relationship now. It's different.

It's different. It's different. It used to be my favorite time of the year. What? Because when you're single, it is the, it is the gimme of a night. Girls are girls are getting dressed up as hot as possible. They are not going home without somebody. Yep.

They are not going home without somebody. If they're going to spend weeks prepping their costume, getting dressed, going to parties, it is more than Valentine's Day, more than any other night Halloween is a gimme. But if you're in a relationship like the two of us are, you don't want it. When I'm single, I am thinking about what my Halloween costume is going to be for. Halloween. How can I cram a suit into this? How can I wear a suit out tonight?

Let's see. And now I have literally no idea what I'm going to wear for Halloween. I'm going to figure it out the night before. I'm just going to go to some Halloween store, just buy whatever the cheapest costume is throwing on. It's like, I am actually this Halloween, my girlfriend is bringing me to a pumpkin smash, which I could not be excited about. No, it's not going to have, it's not going to have either of those.

Welcome to Halloween scams. There's going to be no smashing. It's going to be a dance. Watch it. Someone, oh god, you're right. What if I think it goes, no, it's going to be watching YouTube videos of pumpkins getting smushed. That's what it's going to be.

They're going to put a pumpkin in that industrial crusher that those that those European guys do. No, here's what I got last year. Oh, Trump pumpkin. I wanted that's what I wanted. I'm sure of a Trump. That's is dude. This is what I wanted.

I wanted it to be in kind of a spooky atmosphere, a silly spooky atmosphere. You can see like they built like full on dinosaurs out of these things. Oh, you know what, I was so desensitized. Yeah, yours was your sucks. There was, you know what, the coup de gras of the me being over this thing,

it was a pumpkin that was carved with the LA Clippers logo. Wow. Like you gotta be fucking kidding me. Yeah, there was dinosaur pumpkins around, but there was, there must be different people in charge. There must be different people in charge. I don't know who is in charge, it was fucking bullshit. Asterios.

Yeah, I'm here. It's here in the studio, you're coming to us to talk to us about a new book. Yes. You got out called Toys for Cheap. Yup. We just wrapped up the bonus episode where we talked about porn savers.

Yes. A trillion dollar invention. You still have time to join the Patreon and hear about porn savers, and I did not know what porn savers were until you explained it, and now it's all I want. It's all you want. Yes. Yeah, like fuck the Wii, fuck whatever new Nintendo thing is coming. If I had a porn saver, it would be a significantly positive impact on my life.

Yep. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, there's no question bad. Guys, if you want to steal the idea and kickstart it, go nuts. This is, I'm like Louis Pasteur or Jonas Salk, I think it was. I'm given this, porn savers is the vaccine to being alive. And I'm giving it away for free. I'm giving away the idea.

You started, you kick started. If you're some kind of a dongle master and you can figure out how to make it work, you do it. You do it. That is my gift to the world, is porn savers. And you can listen to it by throwing in five bucks and go and check it out the, the Patreon. It's there he is.

Yes. What makes you a rage? Uh, what makes me a rage is phony rage. Okay. Yeah. I've been thinking about this for a while. How you get people, not you, but like how both liberals and the society was just absolutely outraged that I thought it might be me.

No, of course not. You're one of the good ones. I think that's a device stand-up comics. He was a lot too. What's on your phone, Erage? Oh, yeah. Oh, absolutely. Like, when liberals were conservative, say that the world will end if blank happens. Oh. And then when blank happens, nothing bad happens.

For example, let's talk about gay marriage. For decades, religious assholes, they're going on the earth, they're saying, if gay marriage happens, this is going to destroy society as we know it. People are going to marry in dogs. They're redefining the definition of marriage. If gay people get married, that'll be it. It'll be Sodom and Gomorrah. The whole world's going to fall down. Cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria, gay marriage passes a couple of years ago. Absolutely nothing changes. Nothing changes about our world.

Now, Adam and Steve can go get married. Great, people are making more money now. There's more weddings in general. We got more commerce coming to the economy. You know, life has not changed one bit, listeners, because two gay guys or two gay girls get married, but that's a great example of phony rage. And for decades, you're getting people to vote for you

because you're like, I'm gonna take a stand against gay marriage. And then like, and it fucking happens, the sun still rises, the sun still sets. We still put on our pants to legs at a time. We still go to work, we still eat shitty food, we still go to bed. You know what's funny about that, I talk to me a lot of the rage,

because last week, I don't know, we'll talk about last week in a little bit. About Mike's turn of, okay, I can't wait. I'm gonna take my pills. All right, you don't want him after you. You don't want a turn of his on you as there he goes. Unless you do. I don't want him after you. You don't want Cernivus on you, a stereo sky. Unless you do. No, I don't know.

This is a world where, this is a world where WWF has sunk is seeped into the real world. Yep. Like media, the media has become the WWF. So maybe you want to start a beef. Well, Trump is in the WWE Hall of Fame. How can we fucking get away from politics? All I want to do is get away from politics.

Oh, sorry. I'd look, he was great. Look, I love wrestling. I watch wrestling. Hall of Fame. How can we fucking get away from politics? All I want to do is get away from politics. Oh, sorry. I'd look. He was great. Look, I love wrestling. I watch wrestling all the goddamn time. I know I do not want my certificates after me. Oh my lord. I don't want my certificates after me.

I don't want Maddox after me. I don't want anybody after me. Dear God, I'm so poor. I barely have anything. It's funny with the gay mayor's thing that he's not going to buy. Because you could have the opinion that there's like massive overreach by the Supreme Court and just by unilaterally forcing states to approve it.

That's one opinion, but you just, you have to be lumped into everybody who just kind of hates it. It's unfortunately, it's a binary, it's, it's binary. Do you want a marriage band or not? You know, you can say you're redefining traditional marriage, you can cut it any way you want. But like, unfortunately, it's like, can these gay people get married? Yes or no? No.

Now, if you believe that we shouldn't have an activist court, and by the way, an activist Supreme Court is what legalized African Americans being able to marry white people, an activist Supreme Court is what gave women the right to vote, like an activist Supreme Court is. They did a lot of bad stuff too. Okay, it's just like, why does everybody phrase it? Like they're innocently trying to support their side. They can do good and bad. I mean, give me a fucking break with they. Look, I'm not happy with everything that Supreme Court does, but I'm just saying that sometimes

change has to come from the top down. That is how slavery ended. It came from the top down. That's how it started too. Well, yo, I'm not saying it to my ex-system. But all I'm just saying is sometimes when bad shit happens, you need nine people and robes to make good shit happen. Like, that's just the way it is.

To you, that's the way it is. Well, of course it's the way it is to me. I'm the one talking. My else is fake outrage, make you rage. Well, okay, let's talk about Lady Ghostbusters for a second. Okay, let's just, let's, let's do it for no chestnut. Everybody's saying, this is gonna ruin my childhood

if these lady ghost busters get there, lady ghost busters movie, and it's gonna ruin the old ghost busters, and there'll be no good ghost busters because these people will destroy the ghost busters. And it's like, the lady ghost busters movie came out, nobody saw it.

If anything, more people saw it because of all the fucking phony outrage, people stirred up about a lady ghost busters movie if they hit just let that pitch go over the plate it would have made even less money no but phony outrage is activating people on youtube it's activating people on twitter like getting people riled up over stupid bullshit that will not affect them at all is phony rage and you can do so much with it you can get elected on a you can get all is phony rage. And you can do so much with it.

You can get elected on a, you can get elected on phony rage. You can get impeached on phony rage. It's just people want to be angry. They want to be outraged. And if you can get them angry about something that doesn't affect them at all, that's perfect because then nothing has to change.

If you can get them angry about two gay guys in a brass getting married, if you can get angry about four chicks making a Ghostbusters movie, here's, I got the perfect example of phone race. You think all that outrage was fake with the four Ghostbusters you make? You know what? I think that the people that started that outrage realized, oh, I've got a great wedge issue here. I've got a great way to get attention for myself.

I've got a great way to get clicks for my blogs and views for my YouTube channel. I've got a great way to get new Twitter followers. If I can get people mad about this, then they'll like me. And it's absolutely true. People make money, hand over fist. And again, I know, look, I'm a liberal, I'm talking about liberal bullshit. Let me talk about semester, W.W bullshit. The phony outrage. I kind of burn out on both of them as AW. I mean, we got, we got a near full of that last week. I'm just say, look, let me

I'll just get to, we don't have to dwell on this. Yeah. But the women that went after you with such fucking outrage, they're tweeting you all day, they're writing think pieces about you. Well, they are? No, I don't know. Well, you know them, I'm not in that community, are they still talking about it? Uh, honestly, no.

And that's phony rage. They're not still talking about it. The day all that shit goes down, it is World War Three. People are in secret Facebook groups. They're trying to come up. How do we get dick? How do we get this guy? This guy's the worst of the worst.

Two days later, gone. They're angry about something else. They don't care. It's completely gone. And that's what Phony Rage does. It's like, if this was really the end of the world, then a comedy character named Dick Masterson is espousing comedy views.

Yeah. Like again, in the 90s, there was plenty of Fony rage about Howard Stern. In the 80s, there was plenty of Fony rage about Andy Kaufman's character. What's the guy's name? The Lounge singer, the Andy Kaufman. Oh, Tony Clifton. Well, there was more outrage about him wrestling women. Right. Absolutely. There's so much outrage about Andy Kaufman wrestling women. They're calling them asodgists, they're calling them as saggers to call them this, to call them that. What is the outcome that you're trying to prevent? And if you are really angry about this, then why aren't you angry about it forever? If this

is honestly the end of the world, that a comedy character named Dick Masterson who releases a book called Men Are Better Than Women, A Simon & Schuster. Like, if the end of the world is this fucking, a book that is clearly a joke, the title of the book is Men Are Better Than Women. If you, look, you can think that's not funny all day long. You can think like, oh, this is a my humor. Oh, that's not funny. Oh, that's offensive.

But to call it not comedy is just, it's the apiothis. Apiothis, I can't say the word. You're trying to say a Greek word too. I can't fucking do it. What I feel here, I'm a Greek. Yeah. Look, I'm calling myself that my whole life. It is the zenith of phony rage because if's really upset about it. It would still be happening.

Have you gotten any mean tweets from these ladies lately? I just found this out. Talk to me. And I need to put together some kind of an investigation or a posse, but my mom was contacted by somebody. I don't know if it was such a... but my mom was contacted by somebody. I don't know if it was such a, so when it happened,

when all the outrage should happen and my Twitter started blowing up, I called my mom, I'm like, look, this is what happened. Maddox is doing this video and people are pissed off about it. So Mike, I kicked off my nerves. You might, there's this secret Facebook group where all these tubby unfunny

cut where they plan. We have to go there. He's sitting right here. Hello. Where they plan these lynchings and I'm, and they're starting this thread about contacting you. So if you, you know, so be aware of it. Don't be surprised by it.

I found out a couple days ago that she was contacted by some, but she, she read it, she saw the keywords and realized what it was and just and deleted it right away. So, you know, when I heard that she got, I was like, oh my God, please let me see it. I just learned a bunch about how to ruin people's lives from my concern. You could probably, I mean, you can probably find it right. That's what I thought too, but I scoured man. I was like, I felt like a bloodhound and tearing into her computer to try to find any trace

of who this gutless piece of shit was that sent this message to my mom. I never did find the email. I couldn't fucking fight because she deleted it on Facebook. And it Facebook is different than an email. Right. Email it so you try Facebook you hit delete like it's not archived you hit delete and it's gone forever. I thought somebody got her email address. No, they just no, I mean not not that much effort went into it. Not like it's any much any

different. Like going you get it text an email like I guess it text is a little different because it says they have your phone number. But they all go to your phone. Like it went to her phone and she deleted it. But God, it's like one of, now it's a fucking sliver in my brain that I know this person exists. It's like when Vincent Vega's car got keyed. He's like, what a, almost been worth it

or I could just catch the piece of shit doing it, right? It wouldn't have been worth it, but like the idea that this evidence existed and I could have known who this person was, and even that and done something about it, like something about it is driving me fucking crazy, that I know there's, and I know that other people know who did it. Like this is the, this is the Kafka-esque paranoia that I now have in my brain because I know this motherfucker who did it was talking to other people, should I do it? Should I do it? Should I do it?

And so that now that the conspiracy grows, right? Now I don't know, I don't know who did it, but I know there's a couple people who probably do know who did it. And I know that that sphere grows even bigger. Like now, maybe I'm describing Islam now, but I know that sphere grows even bigger that somebody knows who this terrorist is. It's growing and growing, and I want nothing more than to fucking find out who it was.

I don't know what, like I just need to fucking know. The same exact thing happened to me with all that Reddit bullshit. When some user named Bald Eagle 1742 starts posting my personal shit on Reddit. What personal shit, tell us what I'm gonna- I'll tell you the whole goddamn story. Okay.

So, you know, somebody on Reddit is saying like, I've got all this evidence that a stereo is a secretly backstabbed Maddox. And I'm going to post it. I'm going to post all the bullshit. And so I'm just like, well, posted, we'll fucking post it. Post the goddamn thing if you can. Yeah, you know, WikiLeaks. Yeah.

You have no credibility. Yeah. Just posted. Exactly. So, so post the goddamn thing. So, here's the thing. So, this person, whoever bald eagle 1742 was, I don't even know if people think it's David Kleg. Uh, well, whoever the fuck they are,

yeah, here's what they knew. I texted some stuff to Maddox back when we were still talking. And I was, and honestly, like, we started fighting and I didn't want our friendship to end over comedy, over like a comedy show, over two comedians who broke up and now have their own shows. It's like that just doesn't make sense to me to end a friendship over that. So whoever Bald Eagle is, he knew that I texted, so here's what I sent him annex actually.

I texted him like, look, I have very few friends left. You're one of the only friends I've got. I don't want this, I texted him like, look, I have very few friends left. You're one of the only friends I've got. I don't want this, I don't want to, I don't want to end our friendship because of Dick. I said, let's just, let's meet up, let's get together and let's talk this out. Sure. So Bald Eagle 1742 posts life. I see if you would even have to do that. Like all these, these, these requirements for friendship are insane to me. Well, it's, you know, it's, it's to do that. Like all these requirements for friendship are insane to me. Well, you know, it's like different people.

Like I don't want to get into that. Sure. But here's the thing, so I text this to Maddox. He's the only person I've texted this to. Right. I literally texted my very few friends left. So what's Bald Eagle's 1742 post? He posts, oh, oh, I've got, you're one of the only friends I've got, a stereos.

Oh, I only have a couple of friends left. Blah, blah, blah. He's saying this to like, he or she is saying this to mock me in Reddit comments. So this person has act. Yes, this is what I'm saying. So I call up Maddox and I'm like, who did you send my texts to?

Oh, wow. And he goes, I didn't send your text to anybody. I go, how does this person know stuff that I only texted to you? Yeah. He goes, well, I told a couple of friends of mine that you text to be that, because I asked their advice. I go, what are their names?

Who did you share my private only to you, text to? And not the sentiment, the exact language. Yes, exactly. I go, who did you tell, Maddox? Who did you tell? He goes, I don't want to start a witch hunt. It's like, you mean the witch hunt that you started on Dick Masterson? Like, you don't want to start a witch hunt?

I go, give me their names. Give me their names, Maddox. Because one of them is putting you on blast on red. I'm ready. And he won't tell me. So there's someone out there. It might be Maddox. Because one of them is putting you on blast on red. Unread it, and he won't tell me. So there's someone out there. It might be Maddox's girlfriend. It might be Maddox himself. It might be one of the, one of that close little circle

of hangers on, like, you know, one of the little assholes in the comedy community. I don't know who it is, and it drives me crazy. And I told Maddox, if you can't tell me who you shared my personal private information to this text that only you, this text I was just, that only you and I had, then what are we doing? Yeah, what it was.

Like why is, I literally say, why is their privacy more important than mine? Yeah. Why is protecting them more important than protecting me? It's a good point. Like, um, and you know, it happened a couple of times, you know, his girlfriend and I were face, I had a Facebook conversation. You've talked about it on the show before.

She posted that on Twitter. I call him up. And you're, you're excused for why you were talking to, you were telling her that my show wouldn't be around. You have this cockamami excuse that like you were telling her that my show wouldn't be around. You have this cocka-mame excuse that you are somehow saying things to a hysterical woman to make her feel better. Who would believe that, hysteria? Who's, I mean, that's preposterous.

No, no one would ever do that, no one would ever try to mullify a man. No, I remember when you sent that to me, you sent me the link to Reddit of this prop bald eagle saying, oh, here, I want you to hear this from me. Nice and hysterious. That will, I never need to hear something from you, buddy.

I don't need, I don't give a shit. Whatever you're saying to me, whatever you're saying about me, I don't care. Like, I don't know what's wrong with me that it doesn't bother me, that people, maybe people are talking shit, I just don't fucking care.

Like, whatever you said, I'm sure you had a reason or you believe it, I don't care. Well, I don't care. Look, and I'll say it again, honestly, I figured that you would eventually get tired of beating up Maddox on a podcast and go back to your normal great life. Like, Dick is a guy that shoots animals out of helicopters

and he drives a fucking sports car and Dick is a guy that dates hot girls. I'm like, I don't know how much he really needs a podcast. So literally I thought to myself like, look, you know who needs a podcast? A guy like me, like a doey comedian that's super duper poor. I'm like, I don't, I think to myself in a couple of months,

he might just get tired of it. That's what happens in comedy. Podcasts start and podcasts end. But that's not even the fucking point. So, so, so Jeff, so Maddox's girlfriend post this shit on Twitter name. Yeah. Yeah. My little Jess is their Twitter name. I'll say it. I don't know. I don't want, but like, uh, so she's threatening filing criminal charges on every way. Just give me a fucking break. I know. So she dox is me. I talk to Maddox. I'm like, tell her to take this down.

This is like a private conversation we had. And Maddox is like, well, tell her to take it down, but I agree with her. Like you are, you betrayed me by being, by continuing to work with Dick. Even though the day after you guys broke up, I tell him straight up, I'm going to work with Dick, I'm going to work with you. And let me tell everybody why. And go ahead. Because when I was living in Florida, I absolutely was trying to kill myself. I absolutely was. I was taking a shit ton of oxy-contin and I was drinking it down with a shitload of whiskey and I said to myself, this will eventually kill me and that's what I want. Because I was in a terrible situation that I don't want to get into.

And then, I email Maddox, hey, your show is one of the only things that makes me happy. This biggest problem show, I love it. I can't wait to hear it every week. Like, it's the moment it download, I would wake up early on Tuesday and I would constantly refreshing my iTunes fee because it was so, so funny.

It was like a break from the hell that I was living in the kind of hell that makes someone want to kill themselves. So Maddox goes, well, come on my show, the next time you're in LA, I am so thrilled. And so I'm now involved in the biggest problem. People are becoming fans of mine. Thanks to George inviting me on his show. Like I'm kidding. Shicks are writing you.

Shicks are apps. I'm absolutely not kidding. One of the hottest girls that are dating in my life, I started dating because she was a fan of the show and we met up in New York and it was an amazing time. By some miracle, he said the right combination of magical words. Yeah, I mean, I said, you got some elbows on boob action that night. She must, the only excuse I could think of

is that she has a husky ethnic father. That's the only way this worked. And so I am eternally grateful to George for bringing me in. And it's like that will never stop. And he introduced me to your comedy. And that, and it's like, and I'm really grateful because this show, the Dixho, it's now one of my favorite things.

It's one of the things that gets me through the day. So. Thanks, you shit talker. Yeah, it's just fun. Exactly. So now I'm in Florida. I'm in Orlando. I'm in the worst part of Florida.

I'm trying to kill myself. You're in real Florida. I'm in Florida. I'm in Orlando. I'm in the worst part of Florida. I'm trying to kill myself. You're in real Florida. I'm in real Florida. And these two guys, Dick and Manics are telling me, you're funny. Send us more things. Send us more things. Dick is texting me every couple of days. Here's an idea for a bit. Here's an idea for a bit. You could do this for a bit. You could do that for a bit. And I'm recording things in my garage, in my car, and I'm sending in these comedy bits, and they're connecting with people and people are emailing me and they're messaging me. They're great.

Because I thought to myself when I had to move to Florida to take care of my family, I said, my out of comedy. My life is over and I'm out of comedy forever. I'm out of comedy forever. I'm trapped in Florida. And all of a sudden, these two guys throw me a lifeline. I can be in a disgusting hovel in Florida and be entertaining people, which is all I want. Like, I'm a comedian. All I want to do is make people laugh.

That's it. All I want to do is make people laugh. I don't want to get involved in bullshit. I didn't want to get involved in this fucking stupid mess, but we knew to asshole. It's hard not to get pulled in. fucking stupid mess, but we knew to asshole. It's hard not to get pulled in. Unfortunately, it is because because the next day I tell Maddox, I'm like, look, I credit you both with saving my life. I want to work with both of you. I'm telling you this now so that you don't get surprised later. He's very upset

when I tell him that. And why? I don't know. Honestly, because I think he has to win. I think that's why he pulled this thing with the rape card and the call on you, a rapeologist, and talking to people at UCB because he has to win. He has to be right. I didn't even think to tell you, I'm going to be working with Maddox

because I knew that you would care. Exactly. Because it's it's comedy. There's plenty of comedy to go around. There's plenty of comedy for everybody. But he's telling me, you know, if you work with him, I didn't give a shit when you filled in for me on the episode, I got kicked off. No, actually, you texted me. You texted me. Have a great show. I hope you kill it. Yeah, yeah. Is there anything against you? That's the thing. Like, I am a chubby, poor comedian who lives in the most expensive in the world. God has it out for you.

You don't need me pilot. That's exactly right. It's like, I've got enough. That's funny. It's like real life is hard enough. And so like, even talking about this stuff, I am terrified that Maddox might use it to somehow get me fired from my job.

And it's like that's a very real thing that might happen. And George, I know you're listening to this. Oh, really? Of course he is. Please don't do that. I have almost nothing in the world. Like, I don't want to have to move back in with my parents at age 34 because I said something on a podcast.

Can you fucking imagine? I don't think you've said anything that's, that doesn't matter. Neither did I. Yeah, well, okay. I don't even think there's anything that you've said that could be taken out of context the same way. I don't think that.

It doesn't matter if somebody wants to get you the kid. You don't think so? same way. It doesn't even make any sense. It doesn't fucking make you. You don't think so? If somebody wants to get you, they get you. They find a way to get you. It's, and so all I can do is literally say, like, George, please, my job is the only thing that I have. I'm using it to pay alimony to my ex-wife who I still love and respect.

And it's like, I'm so, so scared. I honestly thought about starting a Patreon before I came on this show. Just to have a fallback. Just to have a fall, just in case like something happened and somebody came after me. And then I thought to myself, ah, that's so transparent, though.

Like, I don't want to, it's like, I don't wanna, I don't want to be bullied. Like, I don't want somebody to tell me you're not allowed to work with this guy. Yeah. It's like, I've been bullied my whole life. It's like, Okay, so I never have.

Is this what it feels like? Yeah, I mean, is this is what's happening? Yeah, yeah. And so, and like, I know we don't want to get into a fucking, oh, I'm sorry, Sean, where are you? No, I was just going to say my experience when somebody gives an ultimatum, me or them, they are saying choose them.

And I've said that before, but that's what, a lot of people who are given that don't understand that they just kind of go like, oh my God, I don't want to make a decision. Yeah, I don't want to make a mad. Yeah. Yeah. I'm getting a lot of. I don't want to make a mad. I mean, that's what happened with Tim Chang. Like, I thought he could be on, I thought he could be on this show since episode one and be like the guy who sits there filling and dropping his fucking gems. But he's, Tim is so terrified

of Maddox that when everything went down and when I got kicked off in there, it's basically blacklisted from UCB and everybody was, you know, going on a witch hunt. Tim was too afraid to reach out to me directly. He told Randy to tell me that, quote, he wanted to reach out as a friend, but didn't want me to mention it on the podcast. I mean, that is the, that is the level of fear. But it was, which is, what the fuck the, as a, what of fear. But it was proven to be, what the fuck the, as a,

what the fucking friend, but the thing is it was proven to be correct. Because the thing is, let's say it broke a different way. Let's say the people that ran Patreon were huge fucking liberals, and they were just like, no. And they aggressively protect their content creators

in my opinion, Patreon. They talked to them. And that's, and that is incredible. But what I'm saying is, what if that had gone a different way? What if you didn't have your own company? You know, like, what if you were relying on that Patreon, my, and all of a sudden disappeared? It's like, you can kick the legs out from somebody's life in a move or two.

Nobody chooses to be homeless. Nobody chooses to move back in with their parents. Nobody, it's like, but when you take away someone's job in America, it is literally a death sentence. I'm absolutely not kidding. We don't have a social safety net anymore. We used to, we got rid of it. Like, if you take somebody's job, they are a, it's like,

I mean, I still get into this. No, it's not totally true. It's not as nice healthcare, stopgiving companies, benefit, start letting them write off your healthcare, put it back in the hands of the people, healthcare should be bought like beer. Like every, there's one beer, there's two or three beers for every 30 to 50 year old man in America. What the fuck doesn't healthcare work like that?

Why isn't it just a single guy plan? And then the other place, like, well, yeah, they compete for each other. You know what, our single guy plan, we pay for poor people's health insurance so you can tell chicks that you're supporting them. I go, oh yeah, I'll get behind that. I could throw in a cup.

That's how it's supposed to work. That's how it's supposed to work. Well, the Ollie's going like, I don't turn it upside down. Oh, now you's going like, the Eleanor's trying to apologize. Oh, now you don't want it. I'm about to talk about taking the age restriction off of Medicare. All right, moving back.

Yeah. Like I read a statistic the other day, I think 60% of people are one or two pay checks away from being homeless. So it is not, So you're actually worried. I'm genuinely, I am absolutely scared that by being on this podcast,

that might lead to me losing my job, but I don't know how else to be. I think that you hit on something because the whole time I've been through this, the one thought that has occurred to me more and more now, sense is like, oh, you mother fuckers hit somebody who not only is used to getting hit, but knows that hit back.

Like, this is the first time that's where you fucked up. Like, you used to picking on people who just, who get fired and move away and disappear and who want your approval and I don't. Yeah. I don't care. Like all of the reason I mentioned Roger Barr at the beginning of the episode is the, when all this broke down, I, and I posted the screenshot of Maddox's, of Maddox leaking his video

into the personal Facebook space, I figured this out later. That day, I got three calls from Roger Barr, like an emergency pan. I've never gotten three calls in a row from somebody, I was like, what the fuck is this? But I was having dinner with my nephews.

I'm like, I'm not taking, I'm not dealing with bullshit right now. I don't care. I don't care to take this call, right? I went back and looked at that episode later. And what had happened was when some, whoever took the screenshot of Maddox's private Facebook page where he put that video into all of our personal friends, fucking where it says on Facebook, who liked it? It just coincidentally happened to be Roger Barr liked this.

So the screenshot, I was like, oh, now I see why it's important because you're a fuck. That's why because you got caught being a fucky sniveling fucking bitch, right? That's why I mean, that's why like that, that's the. He posted, he posted comments in support too. It wasn't just that he hit the thumb. He didn't just hit the heart or the like, like, I believe he and Brian Cooperman posted like in support of it. So, Brian Cooperman posted clips from like out of context clips from my book saying this is what a scumbag this guy is. Yeah. So fuck him too. Well, yeah. It's fucking weasels. It's just like, it's so, so shitty. If you don't want a stereo to move back and home, check out his book, Toys for Cheap.

Oh, yeah. Got that right there, the catalog. Where can people go to get this? Yeah, I have one too. Yeah, actually, if you know my grab in it, people can get my new, it's so funny. We were like, we're not going to talk about Goss and it's all we're talking about now. But devastated press has put out my new book. It is a 56 page oversized full color fake catalog of dangerous and insane toys. I can't wait to read that.

I got disappointment flashcards for babies who need a dose of reality. It's a mom holding up. I just want to be friends. That's right. Yeah, you gotta start telling your kids early that life's gonna be really shitty talking. Take my job, a tron, the love toy saying I'll take I'll take the manufacturing jobs. You do you. That's funny. Yeah, because kids got to know right away. Life's gonna be shitty. You can put together

a puzzle that's a rejection letter from a junior college. That's it. We will unfortunately we will not be accepting you at this time. We have, we have buzzed light ear. He's cool to drive. So quit assaling him. They're not even going to know what driving is. Oh my God. You know what they're going to have?

This is, uh, you remember how we had like wrecked cars at school saying, this is what happens when you drink and drive. Now they have wrecked cars saying, this is what happens when you drink and drive. Now they have wrecked cars saying this is what happens when you text and drive. In the future, schools are gonna have wrecked cars that they tool around with different campuses to say this is what happens when you drive. And no one's gonna be allowed to drive.

That's it. And it should be illegal. Yeah, no, I can't wait for a computer driving around so I can check off on them the way to work. Anyway, if you go to save. Oh my God, we're just going to be embedded in my computer, my car computer architecture. I want you to go right now to Amazon.com and search toys, the number four, and the word cheap.

We have free Amazon Prime shipping. So if you're an Amazon Prime, I think you're an Amazon Prime guy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course. Yeah, so you can get a chip to you for free. You can also go to devastatorpress.com slash cheap and you can buy it. It is a full color graphic novel. It's drawn by the art director for the onion, this amazing guy Jimmy Hossie.

I spent a year writing this book, Toys Like Tickle Me Elmore Leonard, who when you push his hand, he just complains about how get shorty was taken away from him and editing. We've got really great toys like my digital stepdad. It's a little time of gotchy of your stepdad and when you push A, it says blame for divorce, be asked for money. See, yell at for not being your real dad. We've got microscopic machines, the world's first inhalable toy. You'll feel them race, race, race comedy thing I've ever made in my life. Really?

It's the first, it's a, it's a huge book. It's packed in all these creations. I wrote the whole book. Oh, it's great. And it was drawn by this again. It's amazing, Gajimi Hase, colored by an amazing colorist. And so I'm in LA promoting this book. And I honestly wouldn't be out here if it wasn't for the Dick Army sending me over a thousand

goddamn dollars. That's incredible. That's incredible. Wow. I mean, Sean, you're in the wrong business. You shouldn't be audio engineering. You should be playing a victim online. Oh my God.

I'm so out of my life. And so I use no money to fucking fly out here and so we're doing three episodes of the Dick Show today. Thank you. As a thank you to all the amazing. The next episode we're doing three episodes of the Dix show today. Thank you. As a thank you to all the amazing. The next episode we're going to do is it's the big debate. Yeah. We're a stereos and I figured we all could use a break from politics this week.

A stereos and I are going to be debating for our presidential candidates, Trump and Clinton. We're going to be putting our votes on the line that's going to be coming out next week. You vote for whoever won the debate and that person, whether it be me me or you, will have to vote for the other person's candidate. That is absolutely true. And something tells me I'm going to be voting for Trump. Serios, you're on your own.

I need anything could happen. Anything could happen. Serios, we have, or I have a very, very important caller, a very special caller who has a huge problem with you. Really? Uh, he's a fan of the show, a frequent caller of the show. Mad Cux, are you there? Oh, no.

Hey, Dick. Hey, Stereo, is your big backstabber? Hi, Mad Cux. How are you, buddy? I'm, I'm just great. I'm working on my book. We've got other stuff going on. So this Madcux actually does, he actually has been working on a book.

Madcux, what is the name of your book? It's the alphabet of socially conscious, like-minded, free-thinking, gender-neutral optimist. Yeah, he's rewriting the alphabet of manliness to more match Maddox's current sensibilities. And he's already got a chapter out on Reddit. I think it's the Madcuck's group. It's on the Dixho. Reddit. I'm Slash Arslaz, the Dixho.

I read the first chapter and I have to say, like I don't know if this is a road you want to go down Madcuck's. It's like, whatever, I, I don't know if this is a road you wanna go down, mad cucks. It's like, whatever happened to the old mad cucks, who, you know, who would rage against stuff that we all cared about, this new persona, I don't think so. No, as serious, the real, real good people,

they are rageful about non-apologies, okay? I mean, yeah, maybe I'm not region both stupid stuff anymore like Boners or whatnot. No, I actually I'm I thought that was your favorite chapter. I take that back I just have found that last statement last thing is not reflect me Fucking great. I don't know where this guy came from. He's so fucking funny I don't know where he gets the polls from. No, he can reference any episode like on command. He has brain. His first chapter and the alphabet of socially conscious,

like whatever is A for apologies. A for apology. I just, it's like you're just, you're disavowed your old book and I, and I, and I got this whole new thing and it's just like, look look we've known each other for years Like I just I want you can still turn this around I Don't want to turn around these new fans. They're great. I mean I've got all these lady friends out to UCB theater

They're really enjoying the book Bunch of doughy brods and never told us joke in their fucking life That's UCB comedy. It's a bunch of chicks who are on stage because they got a quoted of Phil. Dick, women are funny. I deal with it. You should deal with it, Dick. I mean, look, as an SJW myself,

I'm sort of digging this new kind of, I mean, that new chapter really, as an SJW, it really spoke to me, but I know you're mad at me. Why don't you tell me why I'm so mad at you? What, Matt, catch you on a read? You know, why do your chapter? Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, but I know you're mad at me. Why don't you tell me what you're saying? What Madcats, you want to read it? Why do your chapter, like the inner, I mean, we got a lot of books to sell.

You want me to read, I got a new chapter that's coming out. I still need to be my editor, Lago Morph on Reddit. He's helping me edit it, but B is for boner. That's right, we're bringing it back. Oh, okay, well that's good. This sounds like the old Madcats'm still proud of this that that second chapter in the alphabet of manliness. So this one, this one's about, get a Trump sniffle about just some stuff. I'm just gonna jump kind of in the middle. Boners are not just for men. In my previous book, I

suggested that boners were gift the men could give women. So I am proud of this statement. It is very short-sighted. You see Women have boners as well Some of the last sexual experience readers may be shocked at this, but it is true When a woman is sexually aroused three signs developed the same way a man's penis It's just like being on the old show Three sweet competing says three signs will present when a woman is aroused. Yeah. One, women's nipples are hard.

And one is a hard nipple if not just a tiny bone on your chest. Oh my God. Women have twice the boners we do. Yeah. They have three times. Three times, three times. Three times. Second, some stuff happens with the clitoris and all that wetness.

I would go into some more detail based on what I read on Wikipedia, but I don't wanna put readers at risk when they read this at work. So first of all, the clitoris is a lot like a penis. You pee out of it, it gets firm when you're horny, it's just a tiny bit. I don't.

So that's a little bit. There's a lot more. And hopefully they'll get being posted this week, but I'll get to distract them with dark souls. You're actually committing to writing for real fucking book. I have no doubt. Yeah, as long as people keep laughing, I'll keep writing. Oh my God. Well, when can we look, can we look forward to purchasing that?

Well, you know, I got to get, I got to get what, 24 more chapters out. And I mean, there are a lot of work. 26 letters we have available. We end up being like the ABCs of being a social. I think you should turn it into a full book. I really think you should. If your book beats the other Mad Cux's book to print. Mad Cux first, Mad Cux.

You know how funny that's good. Put it a month, put it out a month before his book. That's gonna be hysterical. Oh my God. Because it's great. Did you have anything you wanted to say to Asterios? Yeah, I'm here. At this point, because Asterios went online.

I gifted you a Harry's razor, okay, when you were on the old show, and I'm looking at the livestream right now, and you got a beard like a Santa Claus, but not with white hair like a brown hair Santa Claus, but not as long. Yeah. I don't really know how to describe.

Maybe just like a normal beard. And you know, do you not appreciate the things that I gave you as deuros? I mean, amongst, you know, I gave you a platform. Now you writing this book. Pretty sure I helped you with that. I was an inspiration. Inspired you to write that. Yeah.

I mean, I hated kids in my second book and now you're making fun of kids. You stole his idea. You're like, it's a little derivative. Yeah, what? That's what you ripped them off. I straight up did. I mean, there's no arguing with it.

I, because I mean, only one person could possibly think of making fun of kids and it's you. It's, yeah, I'm not everyone who's ever having you. I'm having fun. I'm making fun of kids. I also have a copy right on making fun of kids and it's you. It's not everyone who's ever having a kid. I'm making fun of kids. I also have a copy right on making fun of Apple phones. Oh, listen. I can't get his voice out of my head. Like I'll read Mad Conno's books online, his chapters,

and it will instantly turn into the voice in my head. I just remember him saying, but that's not important. Yeah. Don't worry about that. Don't worry about that. Sean, I'm trying to rip off my voice. Is that copyrighted?

That is also copyrighted. Yeah, he, that's my signature dumb person. No. Hey, when are you gonna give Sean a raise, by the way? Oh, he, what's up to the sponsors? Dick, okay, I told you this the Sean a raise, by the way? Pah! Ah! He, what's up to the sponsors? Dick, okay, I told you this the last time I was on the show. It's more up to the advertisers and, you know, Ken don't hide while they're a great company.

They're just not pushing in the dough that we would like to. Is that because it takes them six weeks to ship any products out? Really? So you're saying that people, they're not listening to that? That's a little incident. It was an isolated incident. I don So you're saying that people that listen to that? That's a very good incident. It was an isolated incident.

I don't have anything to do with that. So you're saying that people who listen to podcasts for free might not be able to afford $400 leather bags. Really? Are you just realizing that now? I'm not realizing that. I think maybe the people at Kendall and Hyde are realizing that. They fucked up.

But if you visit Kendallonhigh.com, 4-star Madcast and use promo code, a stereo slide, you can get upgraded from six week shipping down to four week shipping. So that's pretty good. Oh wow. You only have to wait a month to get your man purse. Well that is better. They're not man purse. You can buy boots, a stereo, you can buy bells, they got wallets,

they got all kinds of things, it's not a man-persons. So, I mean, I wanna get into your, you know, call back, Madcux, I wanna ask you all about your network next time you call it into, because I wanna know like how is it, it seems like a scam to me. That's all I'm pretty sensitive to scams,

but it seems like you're leveraging your fame to get people to humiliate themselves with shitty podcasts. And then what, you scrape the bottom of the barrel with ad revenue on that. It's the reason why we have shit content online is because Google just blast ads, whoever will run them. How do you, it seems like your commitment to building quality content and building an audience has just been completely sold out. But that's just one man's opinion.

I don't know what, it's like some kind of potato head pretty boy. You get like $10,000 of them, you get a dollar or something. Oh, well, that's good. The more, the more, my real end goal right now is just getting as many YouTube views as humanly possible. Did you see my recent video, the outright news sources? Well, no, sorry, not alt-right. Just alt-right news sources are bad.

But I only talked about the right one. Wait a minute, Matt Cox does mock videos too. Yeah, oh no, I love his videos, but I mean, honestly, I would never have thought that a website called Real Clear News Daily Conservatives Always Write Doc Tom might have content on it that might not be trustworthy. So it's cool that you made that video because again, I don't know how anyone would have realized. Helping people.

It's what I do. I mean, just to see how the dough is broken walking down the road and this guy came up to me He's like I saw your news video and I just stopped reading World Truth.tv And now I feel like I'm a better person for it. I was like yeah, yeah, you're welcome. You're welcome Yeah, you're doing you're doing the Lord's work. Thanks. That's a true story Thanks for calling mad kegs when you're having an on again real soon. You're leading the rage board by the way Well, he's really good. I mean, I think it's kind of unfair, but he doesn't, but it's not a contest for you, right?

The Maddox one song, but my computer wasn't, let me play the songs over the recording, so that didn't happen. Oh, did you, did you, uh, UC Plus Plus to encode your own MP3 player? Is that the problem with the script? I'm not completely stupid. All right, that was Matt Cux. I could listen to that guy all day.

He was as a comedian, just the level of dedication he puts into even his Reddit comments. Yeah. It's amazing that I'm so jealous of how funny that guy is. Okay, let's talk about last week. My goodness. I have never, I have never seen so much blood in one reddit. Did you Sean? Did you see the Cernovich thread on red? No idea. I have no idea. Wow. It is, it is like, it went badly for him. Well, for him? No. Okay. Because his entire, as he said on the show, he creates controversy.

He calls himself a provocateur. He said that on the show. I mean, that's what a provocateur wants is a 500 comment thread and reddit of people, people losing their minds. This was the best part. It is just nonstop, right? Hundreds and hundreds of comments.

People tearing it into it from every which way. And then Cernivitch drops into the thread and he says, a lot of Cuck's triggered on this thread. Yeah! That's so great! And then he's got a hundred responses saying, oh, you're obviously mad. You're obviously like, I don't think he's mad.

No, probably not. I've left that comment and I was not mad. I've been saying I've been in that situation where I've dropped in with a one-liner after like 6,000 feet, but man, I did not think it would be that polarizing. Well, it's funny because you start out the show, you bring in one of my favorite people,

Legra Wingo, she's a feminist blogger. You know, you're bringing my very best friend in the world, Joan Ford. You know, she's an art feminist. People reigned hell down on her after that. Not as bad, but there were a lot of people who had a strong opinion about that episode. Oh yeah, a strong negative opinion about that.

Yeah, no, absolutely, but I honestly, I think that, I think anybody that has a negative opinion about one of the funniest women in Los Angeles is just uncomfortable with trans people. But like, they would have a problem with what you just said. Of course they would, and I'm happy to talk to them any time they want.

Like, but the thing is, it's so funny, you think that the audience is super conservative and then Cernifitch comes on, who's like the alpha-garilla conservative and they hate that too. They just hate everything. Which I like. I like that too.

That's honest. It's like you got to give it to them for their honesty. I don't think there's the huge number of alt-right people. Oh, you know, alt-right. What is it? It's just a term. As people think, I don't think your audience skews as far right though, as a lot of people think. I think they're all over the place.

They are all over the place. I think people want to pigeonhole you as you only appeal to this group. And it's not true. So when he's saying the statements that... I mean, look, if you don't want to see carved pumpkins for $30 in a parking lot that are carved with the LA Clippers logo. You might like

the show. If you don't want to take your fucking girlfriend out to some stupid fucking thing that living social told her convinced her that she would love, you might like the show. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. I know. I was just going to say I think a lot of people were like, dude, this guy's way out there for me. Didn't like that show. Don't like him. Huh. Well, I mean, I wasn't what I saw coming. It wasn't as I was like, who this is gonna be? Really? Oh, yeah. You knew it right away, we knew how we were going to learn.

Yes. I did not. I was like, it seems like this guy's found the perfect, I look, I'm a huge fucking liberal. I'm from New York. I voted for, I would have voted for DeCoccus if I was old enough. You know, and I love this show too. So like, I guess that is a lesson learned that is like, well, you know, you can't just pigeonhole a whole fucking audience. Yeah. A couple lessons learned, but I like that the guy exists. Oh, I think it's cool. I love what he does. Yeah. I love how he hammers people. I don't agree with the lie. I agree. Every once in a while, there was a comment where like,

yeah, I dropped the ball on that one. It's my fault for not making the episode funnier. Obviously, a lot of people wanted me to challenge things you were saying, but I'm not really a challenging guy. I mean, I guess. Why don't you take a dump on your guest? Look, he said a million things I didn't agree with. For example, the quote, when you see somebody, Oingabonga grabbing your titties, how come nobody is stepping in to stop someone from Oingaba, grabbing your titties. Why don't, how come nobody is stepping in to stop someone from oinga, boinga, grabbing

your titties? And the 1970s when like, we're done, Draper existed. And where if you saw a woman getting oinga, boinga, you assumed it was her fault. But like, look, I don't want to tear apart because the thing is, it was really cool for me to be exposed to the gorilla mindset, let's call it. You know, when I was in college, I was also a cute, I was a cute to battery.

A girl? Oh, really? Yeah, a girl, I was dating a girl. I didn't want to date her anymore. I broke up with her, and she said I hit her. Yeah. And so one night, two of her friends came to my dorm room and they tried to beat me up and the only reason they didn't is because I was on another date with a hotter girl So I wasn't home, but like for a year of college

Yeah, I should be challenging this you liar hysteria. I was not her name was car. She was pretty fucking hot so so So the thing is like And for a year, everyone was like, oh, I got a date rapist or that guy hits women. Until the next year, she accused another guy of the exact same thing in the exact same language. And then people realize, oh, this girl's nuts. And a bunch of people came to me and they apologized. They're like, we're sorry, we believed her. Like, I fuck fuck so you can say anything and you're guilty.

Yep, you're guilty and you have to go bend over backwards to prove your innocent or hope that that person makes the same fuck up again. Yeah. Well, it's it's different. So you are almost black pilled then. That's exactly. And you got pulled back from the edge of the abyss. But I'm still blue pill is the thing.

It's it's like I in my opinion, women crying foul is rarer than men committing fouls. Like, I don't have any hard numbers. It's just my experience. I've known a lot of dudes. I've known a lot of women. I feel like sexual assault and domestic abuse is something that happened. I don't think it's really a stat. Yeah, I don't think it's really a stats game. Well, people try to make it a stat and they actually do. And that was, that was my point in the men or better than women article that I wrote. I know. I spread around. My entire point was

writing about sex crimes as though it's only purely based on stats. And I manipulated the stats to make it show that it was totally ridiculous. The entire point was that it shouldn't be a stats conversation. and that's what Maddie's blast at it. Like that's what they blast at it. I'm like, look, look, look. He's saying this and it's like, that was one of my favorite parts. That's the fucking point.

And you gotta be an idiot not to understand that. Yeah, and I think some people didn't get serenavision the same way. I'm not saying everybody, but I liked the guy and I hope he comes back because he was super duper fucking entertaining. Like I don't have to agree with everything, Russian Limbaugh says. In fact, I don't, but that guy's funny. Yeah.

Like, that guy's entertaining, you know? So, I like the guy. We went, we had burgers afterward. It's Stoutburger. They let me use one of their precious four-seater tables. Oh, yeah, that's fucking militant about that shit. Yeah, and he came, sort of, he comes up with this idea

of doing an election night party, and I said, yeah, that sounds fun. 10 seconds later, he's tweeting it. You know, if you don't find a warehouse, you're gonna look like an asshole. Like, I love this, I love this energy that you're bringing here. Like, I don't, I wouldn't do that.

I know guys like that who have that kind of MO, and they're all very successful. Like, I just don't have it. He's incredibly driven. Yeah. His motivation is off the charts. Yeah. Anyway, somebody made a remix of the episode that I want to play. I think it's very funny.

I think he would think it's very funny too. We clearly thought that thread on red it was funny. Presenting Cocked Black Pill, cock made, cock made, cock made, blue pill, blue pill Pill Blue Pill Black Pill Black Pill Blue Pill Cocked Cocked Cocked Cocked Cocked Black Pill Motherfuckers Black Pill Red Pill Black Pill That's the Black Pill. See you next Tuesday. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You're gonna be three. He would love that. It's not that many times that he said, like if that's all the cut times. Oh, no, I don't think so.

It was, you think it was more than that? Black pillant, yeah. Oh, maybe I just don't have a problem with that stuff. I don't know. All right, let me get to. The Dix show presents erotic stories from real men. I've got three spicy erotic stories

that are all spooky. All I send out a call for the spooky spicy erotic stories that are all spooky. I sent out a call for the spookiest of erotic stories. I don't know if we're gonna get to all of them, but I'm gonna go through them one by one. Here's one of a graphic sexual horror, a spooky erotic story. This is from Selks, Selks are. All right, Dick, so back when I was younger, that is about nine. During a Mexican Halloween

already a spooky or type of Halloween. During a Mexican Halloween, my parents rented the film Poltergeist for my brother and I to watch. Our parents didn't let us go trick or treating in Mexico because instead of candy, people gave you heroin. Oh, I thought they gave you leaf blowers. Oh, John, the livable. I don't know. They don't blow their own leaves in Mexico. Well, habits die hard.

They come here and do it. They don't do it. I don't know if you have seen this fucking film but it's traumatizing for kids to see. I mean, the clown scene in that film is the reason I still don't go to McDonald's. I fear Ronald McDonald and his evil purple chicken minions, McChicken, and seriously, what the fuck was that thing? He's getting a little distracted here.

Anyway, once the movie was over, my brother and I were paralyzed in fear. We lived in an old, creaky house in Bumfuck, Pueblo, where people believed in witchcraft and shit. So to our horror, in the dead of the night, we started hearing horrific, argon. Oh, sounds. My brother was flipping out, fearing we were being haunted by some disturbed malcontent apparitions. I being the courageous lad I was picked up the vacuum cleaner from the closet, and followed the source of the noise to the hallway. I watched ghost busters and thought that vacuums trapped ghosts. That was my nine-year-old logic at work.

As I approached the hallway, it got louder and more intense like, ah, I pinpointed that the source of the noise was coming from the washroom. So I pulled the handle and entered screaming, die, ghosts. Only to catch my parents making love like two tortoises in heat. And that is my spooky around. So that's your way. making love like two tortoises in heat. And that is my spooky around story. I'm still on the film. So that's what you'll be. Feel free to share, thanks, Selk.

So our PSA Love Your Podcast, so much better than Maddox's, a Biz Mo Man person network. Oh, that was nice for him to say. Oh my God. This one's from, there's another erotic story. My name is Ratfuck McGee. This story goes back to the spring of 2013.

I was a newly single dumped man who was sad, but eager to score some fresh tang if you know what I mean. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. In case you're not aware of what fresh tang might mean. Yeah. I started texting girls I wanted to hook up with while I was in a relationship but up with while I was in a

relationship but couldn't because I was in a relationship. One girl quickly took debate and I set up a date with her at our favorite bar downtown. Everything went according to plan. We got drunk. Had fun. Giggled and flirted all night and I decided to take her back to the smash palace. She had a boyfriend who was a sleaze, so I didn't feel bad trying to sleep with her. I haven't heard that one since Blue's Brothers. He was a sleaze. When I made it back home, drunk as fuck somehow, I looked at her in the parking lot and went

in for a smooch. We instantly started making out and rushed into my room for some fucking in second if you catch my breath. We did it all. I'm a dirty animal, so I put my face in her crotch and licked that monkey till it was stopping wet for what seemed like ever. It was especially wet to my pleasant surprise surprise and then the fucking commenced. It was the standard 30 minutes I come, she comes late night extravaganza, nothing special.

But the story gets choosy two days later at work. I'm opening a store I worked back in the day and run to the bathroom to pee. And I met a loss of words when I looked down at my diseased members. And notice a yellowy liquid gloping from my urethra Franklin if you follow me. As if that wasn't enough, I'm immediately haunted by the thought of my tongue going in and out, up and down and all around of that freaks infected clam chowder in the darkness of my smash palace. So yeah, moral of the story is I was licking chlamydia. Oh my god. 10 minutes.

PS, you know, PS, you know what makes me a rage? Go vote. Why do people feel so cool telling you to vote? They act like you're half a retard when When they tell you, that's not a radical. Ah! Neither was that first part. Oh God! You've been listening to your own stories from real men.

Very steamy stuff, alright. I got some awesome fan art. I gotta thank some guys for maximum panic. He does live streams for all the thumbnails. I'm going to put that link up. It's fucking great. I was hanging out in there last week just drinking and watching this guy draw. He's fucking awesome. Very talented. He's going to be doing some shirts for the site. He does all the thumbnails. Tori Johnson threw in some art, Michael Wilde, Lance Murray Murray Christian Scott Relive at CSS or CSS rart.com and skin cube at skin cube commissioned a Halloween piece by at death anchor. So next up, we've got the first of what's going to be probably a long running feature.

Might not run as long. I hope it doesn't run as long as my search for a co-host, but the deal is guys, I got to find a news babe. You promised the people a news babe, buddy. I ran my mouth. I wrote a lot of checks that my ass has not been caching. So today, hysteriosis forced me to start the Dick shows search for a news babe and to start that you, hysterios have actually been a talent scout. Yeah. The talent scout in this arena.

I've thrown up a couple of ads on Craigslist. I might get into, I'll be bringing them in. I'll be bringing them in. That's not how you find a news babe. I don't think you know that. Yeah. If there is a babe, that reads news. This is a unicorn we're talking about.

A hot babe who also is very informed on current events. Why is she on Craigslist? What's she doing there? You got to do what I do. You got to go to Cheetahs. You got to talk to the strippers. You got to find the ones that know the most about current events, current political events. And last night, I had a little bit of fun,

and maybe I found one. And are you being real? Is this a real story? I can never tell people like to talk about things they didn't actually do. This is a real story. Dick. Okay, well there is a real hot wheels. Okay.

There is a real hot wheels. I know you don't believe me. No, I don't. I got hot wheels as friend. She's a fantastic comedian. She's a columnist for Playboy magazine, and she's one of my favorite tweeters on the internet. You might have to bring her in.

Please bring her in. Well then, please welcome Casey Coupe. All right. Let's you hop off. Casey, nobody wants to see a stereo. No, no. So would Mad Cux call your beard a brown Santa? Yeah. Nobody wants to see that shit. Casey Coupe, hello. Welcome to see a stereo. No, no. What did Mad Cucks call your beard? A brown Santa? Yeah.

Nobody wants to see that shit. Casey, cool, hello. Welcome to the dictionary. Hi. Hi. Hi. I'm so flattered that I get to audition unofficially for news babe today.

Is that is everything that a serenose said true? Did you did you really meet at Cheetahs? Um, I love Cheetahs. Yeah. Yeah, we did. Cheetahs is that's where I network accidentally. I accidentally network your work. I mean, I love it because it's like normal club,

normal gentleman's club, too sleazy. No, it's a little too grimy. I was like, very... Bless, too fat. I like right in the middle. Right in the middle. That's absolutely correct. It's true, it's all true.

Ars is like PG13. Ars is PG want. That's what I want. Ars is like PG 13. It's not even top. It's a non nude club. So they can't. There's no top. No, we got the nipples covered. Never. I take back everything I said. I hate cheaters now.

I don't have any tits. So you're probably safer with the top. Okay, tell us more about yourself. You're you're some kind of a writer. Are you? Yeah. I wrote a column for Playboy about my life, the Taseful nude. That was a running series for like five months. And now I'm writing a book.

So things are pretty, pretty registered, but did a bunch of shows in New York last week. Okay. Well, before we get to your book, let's see if you can read the news. Okay. If my literate, that's another story. It's more than you can read the news. Okay, if my literate, that's another story. It's more than just literacy being the news baby. You have to give the story that gravitas, that playful gravitas, that even when you're reading about Aleppo being blown to smithereens, you still, you're not freaked out. You're not Walter Cronkite. There's a little wing.

There's a little wing, like fuck Aleppo. That's what the, there's that little tiny wing. Okay, let's hear what's the first story about it. I've never been in a job interview quite like this. I love it. Okay, so the first headline, it's about the selfie chin. Are you obsessed with taking selfies but you've got an ugly face. Good news.

Scientists have invented a new procedure called the chin selfie. It involves injecting bile acid into your chin in order to destroy the fat cells and give you the chinless selfie of your dreams, boo. That's what plastic surgery is now. Yup. We're cutting off our chin so we can take better selfies. We're cutting off our chin despite our faces.

That's exactly what's happening. It's not gonna, it's just a little bile acid. It's not a big deal, you know, it's a little bile acid. Hey, did you, did anybody else think that Hillary Clinton had like a shit load of chemicals injected into her forehead? My mom called this out. Oh, she said Botox or something.

Like that, like a couple minutes before she went out there. Oh, I don't know about that, but well, because she was expressionless, yeah, because the middle apparently, is this true, the middle between your eyes is immobile if you've recently had Botox. It's not the forehead, it's right between the eyes. I haven't had any Botox personally, but I would.

I would, I'll probably, I'll get back to you in a week. How many people do you know who we're gonna have selfie surgery? Give it a ballpark. You know what, I don't know any, but I would be down. I would be completely down. I sell my body on a stage. I would be down for any surgery. Really?

Cut it all off. Fill her up. Fill her up with Bial acid. Wherever. Give me the new new. I want that. Wait a minute, is that true? Do you think that matters in your line of work?

My industry, yeah. you're a product. You're just a piece of a product. What about that whole suicide girl's like natural, you know, I wouldn't call them natural. They stretch their ears to about an inch, inch wide that you're low stretching. Okay. I feel like it's an alternative beauty,

but it's definitely not a natural beauty. I hate that shit. Me too. You don't like that? I don't like big holes. You don't have those, do you? I don't. Would you, you don't want to put your dick in the ear holes?

I don't want to put my dick in an ear hole. No. I'm an old-fashioned guy. Yeah. Go for the butt hole. That's why. I say the more holes, the better. I'm glad that we're finding ways to develop new and exciting

holes. Thank you. You're welcome, man. Have you met some guys that do want to put their dicks in ear holes and stuff, is that? I mean, the guys at work are into anything you could imagine. Anything you could imagine. I think that's what I want to hear about. What things can't I imagine that they're into? I don't know.

There's a lot to lick my armpit a lot. I don't know. And they're just into some different. What do they do? We want to know more. We want to know more. Get back to the bio acid and the chin. No, no, no.

We want to know about the creed. That's what you want to know. No, no, no. We want to know about the creed. That's a good news girl move though. You got to keep it back to the news. Guys, we're going over. This is a news program.

Okay, sorry. I'm sorry. You're right. We all know millennials are dumb as shit. Hey, good start. But now we know exactly how dumb in a recent survey from the victims of communism Memorial Foundation, one third of millennials believed that more people were killed under George W. Bush than under Joseph Stalin.

More people, how many more? Close to half, 45% of Americans, 16 to 20, said they would vote for a socialist, and 21%, I'm sorry. How many? More millennials think that more people died under President George W. Bush than died under Stalin? Yeah. Well, you know, the Holocaust didn't happen.

Wouldn't be surprised at all. Wait, you wouldn't be surprised that more people, but more money wouldn't leave them. No, I wouldn't be surprised. What's the actual breakdown? Do you have that? Oh, it's like 70 million versus, I'm sorry, Sean. Not the breakdown of death. What's the breakdown of people who think that George W. Bush killed more people than Stalin?

You know, it says, it just says that 42% of millennials were unfamiliar with Mao Zedong, 40% with Che Guevara. It's close. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thirty-fifth percent with Vladimir Lenin. It doesn't say how many.

Nothing existed before the universe. Does our writing staff know what the actual number is. I'm interested in that. Oh, wait, what was the question? I'm so sorry. More, it says more millennials think more millennials believe that George W. Bush killed more people than Joseph Stalin, a man who killed 50 million people in his various purges and five year plans. They believe that George W. Bush killed

more people than a guy who committed four or five holocausts. Are you are you fucking around? No, I'm not fucking around 37% of millennials believe this. It's they're even stupider than I thought exactly the story here. It's, they're even stupider than I thought. That's exactly the story here. It's unbelievable. That's un-fucking believable. You know, my problem has always been that they have generation. No, no sense of history. That's one of the big problems.

Like, no sense of history. Who's fault is that? Like, what are they learning if you go to a thousand hours of school and you didn't learn that Stalin is like a matchmotor. But, you know what? And I'll flip right here. You know how we're always railing on like how pussy's they are and everybody gets their safe space

and all that kind of shit. It's fucking our generation who made them that way. Who made them pussy's? Yes. Why? Because you think so. Because you have a bunch of younger brother and sisters that are all millennials.

No, they're not really. I'm saying that's your experience. Like you have some kind of experience with this because you're the oldest sibling and you are across the generational divide. Yeah, I have an insight in this. I'm talking more, I'm talking more, my youngest sister's 30. I'm talking more the college age when you haven't got any other world. The tail end of the millennial.

Yeah, and it's all about safe space. It's all about all of that shit that I didn't really do this to them though, because we're their parents. Millennials. Yeah, no, dude. No, there's, yeah, I'm almost 40 years, I'm 39 years old. Like I could have kids who are like late teenagers, you know? Yeah, they would, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, if you tried hard, if you were unlucky, you could have one that was like 29 by now, or 20 to 25 by now. Yeah, yeah. But those are the tail, so is that who is in this? I would just say. I would just say.

I would just say. I would just say. I would just say. I would just say. I would just say. I would just say. I would just say. I would just say.

I would just say. I would just say. I would just say. I would just say. I would just say. I would just say. I would just say. I would just say. I would just say. like nobody paid attention in class. Everyone's like, I couldn't, I have ADHD. Okay, so if it's your age, that's my period. What is the extent of your knowledge about Joseph Stalin? I had a weird period in middle school where I read a lot of Holocaust books on my own time.

I thought it was really interesting. Okay. So I know a lot about the, about. Well, we got Hitler with that one. What about, what do you know about Joseph Stalin? Stalin killed more people than Hitler. Okay. That's true. That's Okay. That's true.

That's true. That's true. Like why? What did they tell you? What did they teach you about what was wrong with what he was doing? Like okay, so this is why it troubles me that millennials feel this way because it seems like in their minds, they are thinking that Stalin and George W. Bush might just be a murderer and they don't realize that it was, it's not that he, it's not that Stalin and George W. Bush might just be a murderer, and they don't realize

that it was, it's not that he, it's not that Stalin was a communist and also a murderer, it's that communism creates murder. Murder, yes. Like, it just, and the article talks about how millennials are very comfortable with communism about, they'd have 37% of millennials had a very unfavorable view of communism compared to 57% of Americans overall. Yeah, so more millennials think about it. What the fuck are they learning about it?

You know what? They just see Che Guevara T-shirts and they're like, oh, that looks cool. And they say like bullshit, like, oh, you know, if communism worked, it would be great if it worked. It didn't work under stuff. It's didn't work. It's great theory. It's going in. Yeah. Yeah, it working is killing 70 million.

What is 50 million people? It was 50. That's the number I remember talking about. Yeah, it was 50 million fucking people. It was a huge success. Maybe Maze Mow was 70 million. They beat us into, it's all tens of millions of people. Everyone managed to eat some bread every day.

And beats. That's how it works. It turns up successful communism, and they're not learning this. What a fucking nightmare these kids. What? We're fucked. We are completely fucked, man. Can you imagine how stupid we're going to look when we're the ruling, like when we're

as old as the baby boomers, and where the kids write under us, the generation write under us, don't know that Stalin killed more people than a goofball like George W. Bush. Yeah, when I was in high school, I went to a state student congress competition, and I remember that as a whole,

we voted America to be socialist. Like everyone was completely comfortable with that. Oh, yeah. This was in 2006 or 2007. Yeah. Whenever something hasn't, whenever something hasn't happened, they ascribe these great attributes to it.

Like something hasn't happened in the country and you don't actually see what it does. What do you mean? The harm it causes. We've never been socialist in the United States. Yeah. But people cherry pick like the good points or the idea behind it or that's like,

yeah, that could work. We need a socialist president. It's like, you know, no sense of history will do that. We got to blame teachers, right? For this, like, shouldn't we be teaching? I told you my stance on teachers. Why America is good?

We should hit the kids again. Well, yeah, that would fix so many problems, obviously. I think the big green voice trippers. Yeah, wouldn't that be great? All right, what else you got? Kaze. All right, headline three. Who wants a blowjob from a 90-year-old woman?

You're just a vote for a Hillary away. At a recent Amy Schumer show, former sexy person, Madonna offered oral sex, quote unquote, to anyone who would agree to vote for Hillary Clinton. What a fucking lunatic. She said, and I quote, I'm good at it. I take my time.

I have a lot of eye contact. Does she do it? I would not. The last thing I want from Madonna out of a blow job is eye contact. I want my eyes gouged out if I'm kidding a blow job. Your hair would turn to snakes if you looked at her. Yeah, yeah, I would turn to stone. Yeah, does she do it with a fake British accent?

I see a lot of money. I have girls do a fake British accent to me. Thank you very much. Does she even have to open her mouth or do you just stick it to the front teeth? Is there's that big gap in them? I know she's the female letterman. I think she got to take the dentures out first. I think that's what you do. You don't like a little teeth? I like a little teeth.

I don't want a little, a little something. How do I wait a minute? Yeah, no, this is what I want to hear. How do you think, guys, like, you think a little bit of teeth as well? It's like, what, don't you? There's not a little bit of teeth in a vagina. And that's what we're simulating. Well, you know, I don't use what I'm jerking up what, don't you? Because there's not a little bit of teeth in a vagina. And that's what we're simulating. Well, you know. I don't use what I'm jerking up. I don't throw a little bit of fingernail in this. I'm so wild.

I like to keep them in check, know where they stand with me. Like I could bite it off at any time. And without your dentures in, you know. That's true. There's got to be that sense of danger there. Oh, a little dominance there. Mm-hmm. It's a danger. Yeah, I don't want this sense of danger at all. If Casey's doing it, I do want the sense of danger. Okay.

This is don't take away my life from me. This is where bad Ideas come from guys like a stereo sewer making jokes compulsively about a very serious topic Your jobs we don't want any teeth. We don't want any teeth. You don't want any teeth? No. No teeth. Do you like a girl to be a little dominant then?

Yeah. Then she should scare you and let you know where you stand with your cocktail. That is not dominant. That's a little fear in that low job. So then, but is this offer legal that Madonna made? According to Judith Ingram of the Federal Election Commission, it is generally illegal to exchange anything of value for a vote.

But that's enough that there's nothing valuable about a blowjob from the dominant. Well, that's a zero value. Experts are currently debating whether or not a blowjob from mommy has any inherent value. Oh, my good writing. That's me. What? I'm billing you for this.

I'm billing you for this. That first one, I thought you made up. I thought it was one of those, you know, a single story. What am I fake bullshit story? Yeah. No, this is the news. The only one. I can't get past the millennial.

No, me either. We're on to Madonna blow jobs. I know. Do they? We gotta let the crumbling empire of America first. I just let it fall into the ocean. We gotta just let it crumble into smithereens. I've let it go.

It is shocking. It's shocking. Well, because it says to me that not only is high school completely worthless, but college is also completely worthless. I remember in college that you could just, there were classes for athletes that were separate that were easier versions of whatever class I was there was just so much of that it was nothing you just memorized the night before and you forget the next day That was what college was to me. It seems like it should take about 12 minutes to explain like it seems like they should know who Stalin is

above Anyone else that he killed a lot of people that a lot of people died because of communism. You know what, if there was some YouTube star that was doing all sorts of jump cuts and be like, Stalin, good, bad. If you think this good, Stalin bad, it was doing good. Remember it. Yeah, they would remember that in a second if you have some YouTube.

I remember in the psyche with like a meme. You know, this is something they could pay attention to when they're eating. You just fixed education. It's not about what we're teaching. It's that we need to get rid of all these fucking teachers and just put on viral clips. Have Ray William Johnson or whatever that jerk off is just writing all curriculum. Say, look, you got to teach why Stalin is bad and you've got a minute and a half. I just don't think they associate Stalin with communism. They just hear Stalin

and they think Hitler and not that Stalin was a good guy. Right. You're still in the Hitler too great, buddy. You're great guys. Now I want to see like a lesser bad one, even though Stalin kill more people than Hitler people don't really know that I want to see like a monastery school Accept it's all viral videos. Yep, and I will stack those kids up against any traditional education Ever like because it's it's a joke right that there's viral videos and that we're all our minds are all poison by them But isn't it also like we figured out a way to cram information into our heads, man? It's the new propaganda. Just hammer it in really quick and the attention spans these millennials have, myself included,

and good to go. That's how I usually do it. I hammer it in really quick and we're good to go. Yeah. That's what they tell me. I always leave a little poor. Anyway, hashtag Stalin bad. If we could do that, hashtag Stalin bad, then all these kids would be like, oh, I

hate Stalin. I saw a hashtag about it. Communism is not lit. That should be the hashtag. Oh my god. Exactly. Stalin is not my bay. Well, it's like, if we're, if we're, let's work with the problem. We're not fixing it. No one is getting better. Let's just make a bunch of viral video. Like somebody could do that. Mike Cernovich could do it. That's exactly right. He's got it making videos.

He's, you know, he's a hustler. He could get it done. Casey, thank you for reading the news. That was the entire video. Thank you guys for having me on this news babe audition. I appreciate it. I gotta ask, what makes you a rage? Let's put you on the board.

The most, the most a rage. You know what, I don't like condescending customers at the strip club. I don't like guys that have figured out that it's all fake. That's not your real name. Oh, I don't think that's your real name. That shit pisses me off.

Yeah, me too. Cause you step in there and it's obviously a fantasy. I would never talk to any of them in real name. That shit pisses me off. Yeah, me too. Cause you step in there and it's obviously a fantasy. I would never talk to any of them in real life. And it says a lot that that's their fantasy is just making you feel bad about the fantasy. It's like, do you go to a magic show and say like it's the kind of guy that's not real. That chick wasn't that chick's not actually in the box that she's getting couldn't have with it. Yeah, man. Yeah, we're like a magic show with pussy's.

The best magic show in the world. What else do they do? The kind of Sunday class. Oh God. Tell us what we shouldn't do when we go to strip clubs. Just, please. Because guys, we're animals. Just play along.

Pretend like this is, it's all real. Just pretend that I would really shake my butt on you in real life in the street. That's, we're just buddies. What is the cost of getting, in your opinion, like what would you say is a good deal, bad deal for getting a hand job in the back room? Like what's the going rate?

Okay, I'm just gonna say, I don't do that at work. Of course you done, of course, but it happens. It happens. I've talked to women who have done this. I know a guy who's gotten fleece for three grand, and I said, dude, that you paid way too much for a hand job. A hand job? Yeah. Give him my number. Yeah, I guess we do it after all. What is a going rate? I don't know. I just know that BJ's are like 500 to a grand. And that's for the STD after what is the medical truth? I haven't done it. I haven't done it. I don't know. I hear that you don't even know if it'll be good.

Well, if it'll keep them there, hey. Hey, no, that's true. You know a hand job will be okay. I mean, you know, well, yeah, but you're more easier to be okay because you're, you're right there, like talking and through it. And there's a lot more to pay attention to. He provided you have all your digits. I mean, it could be weird with like a fucking two thing, like a T-Rex.

When a kid is over. I'm just saying I'm speculating. Where are you hiding your hands? Yeah, you're speculating. Yeah. I don't have to find my hands. His fingers. Sean's got it. No, that's what he said. Hand jobs't have to buy hand. And his finger. Sean's got to never know.

That's what he said. Handjobs are better. And he's less got like two fingers. He runs Tyrannosaurus handjobs. When a girl's giving you head, it's like sending the Apollo astronauts around to the other side of the moon. Like, there's no, they're out of reach. You cannot communicate with them while they're on the other side of the moon.

Yeah, because even eye contact is a question. You know, and you can't, you can't be like Tom Landry shouting audible's down there while she's working because then it's not, then it's not even a blowjob. Tom Landry. The coach, that's your football reference. Tom Landry, what the fuck are you doing? Bill Bella's sixties. Because everyone else is too polarizing.

I don't want this to turn into a political show. But if you're shouting orders down there, then you're effectively ruining. Yeah. Sometimes you can just push the back of the head. I actually personally like that, but I like to be dominated. You just push that head down.

You're just pushing grabbing the head down. Yeah, but I like to be dominated. That's not for everybody. Okay, so what about what's a going, what's a good going rate for an intro? And how do I initiate the transaction? I don't work in that field. But you're from you're more familiar with the deny. I have done one new event where lots of things happened for lots of money.

And I think the going rate for handy is like 300. That's a lot. That's a lot of money. It's a lot of dope. But I would not fuck for less than five grand personally, not that I have. Not you, of course. I fucked for drugs a long time ago, but it's been a while.

Okay. But five grand is my going right. I hear that it's like a grand, like three grand, depending on how hot you are, race plays into it too on how much you can. Just for a little bit. Yeah, that's what I've been told. It seems like a lot. I would think like 50 bucks. I you can just for a little bit. Yeah, that's what I've been told. It seems like a lot.

I would think like 50 bucks. I know. 300 for a little handy. 300 for a handy. For $300, I could take a girl out on the date of her life. Yeah. And then get it for free. For pizza.

Exactly. Yeah, I'll take it to David Buster's. We'll go in the store worth battle pod. Okay, so let me ask this. We need girls. They don't this. They don't exist. They don't exist. They don't exist. Casey, give me your favorite customer

and your least favorite customer. Oh, my favorite customer is Rich. Usually just wearing white collar. Why is he your favorite? What does he bring to the table? Money. Money doesn't try to touch me, doesn't try to talk a lot. Maybe even closes his eyes during the lap dance.

It's just there for your presence. It happens. They just want to smell you. Maybe they're really high. So it's like an ATM in a suit. Yeah. Okay. Who's your worst?

Who's your worst? Oh, God. The guys who wear the thin pants and no boxers and like really keep trying to go home with them and do extras and like smell bad. How often does go home with them, and do extras, and like smell bad. How often does going home with them happen? That you've seen never? No, we get arrested. It's very, they're very strict.

We would get arrested. Okay, so what should- We leave the club with a man you will get arrested. Oh, man. Well, everyone's a fantasy for me. I guess that's too bad. I mean, when I was new, I used to fuck a lot of guys there, but I was. Well, how did that happen?

I was a wreck. How did that happen? I was an alcoholic addict. That's how that happened. No, that'll do it. So they lowered you in with, okay. No, I just was like, that's like number part three was the sex was like, ugh, just numb it all out.

Numb the inside too. It was crazy. Much better. Is this so you've got a book coming out, you've got a sex call. The dick is very intrigued all of a sudden. Oh yeah, yeah, the one is a father. Is this what the book is all about? The book is gonna be a lot about

my getting sobered in the show. Is anyone else in your family a writer? Father, maybe. No, there are a lot of alcoholics in my family, so maybe deep down their writers, but they're just drunks. And no, I am the only sober alcoholic writer in my family. So what's your book about? It's gonna be about some of the funny times in the club,

some of the fucked up weird sex experiences I've had, and then like how much I hate men. Oh, oh. Well, not us, I'm gonna be right. I'm gonna leave that place. Oh, how much you hate men at the club who are that guy? Yeah, I just don't like men that much. Sorry, no offense.

What? I just, I don't like them. I don't know. I just usually like my, my, a rage. Like they're pretty condescending to me usually. Yeah. I understand they're like, oh, sweetie. They're condescending to you.

I'm so sorry, sugar bear. Do you date women? No, I have a boyfriend that I right now. You have to find the right one. Well, he's like five years younger than me. He's a kid. So you can totally boss him out. I put him on leash.

Yeah, okay. I'll look him around. You give him the teeth? Just to let him know who's boss. Yeah. He does give me the dick that one. It's very, very large. He reminds me who has the penis and the relationship.

Do you like a little bit of teeth on your end? No, I don't. Oh yeah, that's how we do it. Yeah, it's not. So you can relate to us now. I was just trying to, I like to keep guys in check. It's just for the fear aspect. I can deep-throw without teeth.

For the fear aspect. I keep them scared. So yeah, the book's just gonna be a lot of my philosophy. Just like how being a female comic and how that is as a female comic who looks fuckable and how awkward that can be sometimes. What do you mean who looks fuckable as a female comic? I do comedy and it's just all the guys kind of hate you because you're pretty because you look like the girl that rejected them in their youth So they're kind of just mean to you off the bat. So it's yep, I write a lot about that

That's I want to say as if as a male standard comedian I can't think of a worse group of people than male stand-up comedians because they're either trying to come your friend because they want to fuck you And it's very apparent right and it's very obvious or they're like insult you off the bat Yep, because they think that's how they're to fuck you. And it's very apparent. Right, and it's very obvious. Or they're like. And they just insult you off the bat. Yep, because they think that's how they're gonna fuck you. Like they're like, oh, I'll chair her down and then she'll want me. It's like guy, male standard comedians are like,

they're all like retarded children. It's real bad. It's, I mean, am I wrong, mom's saying? No, you're right. And that's what I'm gonna be writing about. I just met with my literary agent in New York and we discussed the book. And I'm stoked. I know what direction it's going in now. Just my experience is a female

comic and a stripper and a addict and a sober person and a sex addict, all the things. Now you know Hot Wheels. Is that true? Oh yes. Hot Wheels is my bitch. She's a real person. She's a real person on wheels at the ship. At the ship. Do you guys have conversations about a stereo so when he's not around? Is it? Yeah, I see that. I don't have a lot of guys. We talk about a lot of guy.

We. How is a stereo in the club when he comes in? He's a good boy. What is that? I am a good boy. He's one of the good boys. I bring a lot of money and I don't, and I'm very appreciative. I'm like, I say things like.

He's telling me this story. Thank you for your time. I don't know why he's telling me. Yeah, what is he like? He's a good boy. He keeps his hands to himself and he looks scared and that's how we want them to be. That's exactly what I'm.

That looks scared. Yup, why are you scared? I'm nervous around pretty girls. They make me nervous. Well, he's a fucking wolf. He's a wolf and sheep's dog. Yeah, he is. All this time. This is such bullshit. He's a fucking wolf. He's a wolf and sheep's dog. He is. All this time.

This is such bullshit. He's a fucking mad man. He's pretending to be a real sensitive guy. I'm a real sweet. He's wearing his little stripe mime shirt. I was like, Pugsley. I'm just kidding. Look how cute I look.

He keeps his hands to himself. Yeah? That's important there. Okay. That's true. You know what I'm trying to make it around. Sometimes they will take my hands and put them on them. Oh long con. And then I'm like, great. Yeah, who's doing this? I'm gonna

nobody on roller skates. That's what you're nobody on no roller skating strippers name Hot Wheels do that. Okay, Casey, thank you for coming in and reading the news. Thank you for giving us some pointers on how not to give a blow job. Do you have a name. If you don't like it when I do that, you even got not into that. He definitely don't. Would you like it?

No, I'd hate it. No, it's the same building blocks, the same materials, the dick is not like some kind of weird anti-flesh that responds to biting. Nobody likes getting their dick bitten. I just want a chew toy. Casey, oh my gosh. Wait, what oh my gosh. What's the name?

What's the name of your side? Do you book have a name yet? Does your book have a name? Not officially. I'm not going to say it. Okay, that's fine. Sorry. Okay, real quick, do you have a stripper name before you split? Yeah, usually don't say it. It's not going to leave this room or any of the, I'm sure

the listeners mouths Dakota is my stripper name. That's a great stripper name. That's a really good stripper name. All right. Thank you for coming. Thank you, Casey. You're the best. Thank you for coming down. Appreciate it. Let's get Dustin on the line. What is up? Hey, Dustin. How's it going? You got some questions for us. And I think we're going to watch your video. Finally, of you interviewing.

Oh, we went through it last week, but we kind of ran out of time. So I didn't put it up, but I'll put it up in this week's episode. And I want to watch it with the stereos and Sean while they're here, but you got some questions for us? I do. Yeah. So questions from the dickheads on Facebook. A lot of activity there this week, a lot of crazy shenanigans going down.

Why is there? Why is there always drama happening around? Did you, did you hear about the, uh, Clegg slash, uh, Maxwell incident? Wait, who's, Clegg? Who's that? David Clegg. Is that, I don't know that guy. He's, he might be, oh, yeah. He might have been bald eagle. He hates you. He called into this show talking about how much he hates you. I guess I got to Google him because I, if I'd, I'm really busy, you know, being, you know, I'm doing things, doing actual members.

He was stomped into oblivion on the show. Oh wait, is that that guy that completely melted down when he called? Wait, is that the guy who was like, no, I'm going through a tunnel, I can't, I wasn't prepared for this, I didn't know. He was very sleepy. He was very sleepy.

Yeah. You know what? Yeah, it's so funny because if I'm gonna call someone out with completely manufactured evidence, I don't wanna be tired. I mean, that's the last thing. Like if I'm gonna manufacture a bullshit case against somebody, I wanna have my 40 wings.

Well, you know what is noon. Ah! Ah! All right, sorry, let's keep going. Sorry, Dustin. No, it's all good. So one of the members, Maxwell, his name is he actually challenged Clegg to a fist fight, which was supposed to go down yesterday and he went to the place in Seattle and actually waited, but Clegg did not show up. Now, Clegg had said that he was going to be there.

Uh, this is what's happening on Facebook. Guys are, guys are fighting each other. They're setting up. They had it fights for, they had a camera crew ready. They were in a live stream into the group. My God. Didn't, didn't happen. They had card girls.

What was his, who Maxwell was the guy that was going to fight David Kleg? He probably overslapped. He probably slept through it. Did you guys get him a wake up call? His name was Maxwell Kimball. I believe he even bought him the plane ticket. He bought him a plane ticket to go to Seattle to train for a fight.

To fight, yeah, to fight. And he gave him like two weeks worth of training time. Why didn't anybody tell me about this? Like, wait a second. I've heard. If he said it was left in the voicemails. Oh, come on. It's got to be a better way than that. I wanted to make sure that at least that was noted and that

Craig did not show up. Maybe there will be a second attempt. If Craig wakes up, maybe he could give us an answer. He's like a snorlax. He's slumberous. No, he's not like snorlax because nobody wants him. He could defend no gym, no poke flu. And then he is like a snorlax and that I would turn toward him to get him. Yeah. And if I would, yeah, yeah, that's it.

If you were driving, yeah, that's a thing. You were in your Pokemon war driving. I love it. The best part is that in his other group for another show, which won't be named that he created, people like call him King Critic or Disavid, which are his other like, his names. And he refuses to say that that's him. Oh, that's somebody. I just really like their content. That's somebody that's somebody. That's not me. That's somebody else. Oh, well, which is hilarious. I mean, maybe he's got a good explanation for why he, it looks like he totally pushed out of a fist fight that he, that he signed up for.

I don't know what that is. I don't want to opine on what that might have been, but if he wants to call in by all means and defend himself, if people were saying that I was, I bitched out of a fist fight on the internet, I would want to, I would want to defend myself. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, something, I, something might have happened. Perhaps the airline got mixed up. They lost his luggage.

Maybe his fighting pants got sent to another place and he couldn't show up. Maybe he's bit, yeah. Anything could have happened. I don't want anyone to start saying that he just bitched out of a fight. That's all I'm saying. Unless he wants to call in and confirm.

Of course. Or deny, confirm it or not. He did say in one of the posts that he would be there, but then, since after, there's been no comment. Okay, so it sounds like you're running a tip-top group there. The best... Look at... This is the Morlocks, baby.

Either you hang or you don't. That's how it's supposed to come. What are your questions for his theory of? All right. Nick Isaacson wants to know, what is a contest that you both think you could beat the other end? Oh my God, that's what a great question.

I think I could beat esterios in a growing a shitty beard contest, because you have a very shitty beard, but I think I have a worse shittier beard. If I let it get going, it gets real bummy. It gets real, but like I got the Mexican face pattern, you know, the Danny Trejo face pattern doesn't grow here, right? Yeah, where it doesn't grow on the side.

Oh, no, you need those connectors. No, you need them. I don't have them, but usually then the Mexican hair will take over and you get a big, thick, bushy beard, but he's like, I got the white stringiness from my genetic mix up. So it comes, if it gets going for a couple of weeks, for more than a month, it gets real bombing. And now I'm not saying that your beard looks good. I'm not, you know, no, no, I know you're not saying that, Dick.

I understand that you're not saying that. I'm going to say I could probably beat Dick in a fake apology contest. Oh, because I think I have more access to genuine emotion that I could throw in there. Well, yeah, but am I using my genuine emotion to say something I don't believe? Is it all in service of the fake apology?

I think I could do a better fake apology than you. I think having hung out with you this morning and seeing a different side of you than I've ever seen before, I think you're a fucking monster. Well, because of the Johnny, baby who reads the news, because he's got this act where he puts on where he's like this harmless sheep, but he's really unbelievable. But he's got this act where he puts on where he's like this harmless sheep,

but he's really unbelievable. He's smoking cigarettes like they're running out of the whole blown breaking bad. Yeah. That's why they call me the sneaky Greek. Maybe you could be me in that. All right, what else you got? He's like fucking Kevin Spacey in the usual suspects. You know what I'm sorry, I don't think I could be even a fake apology contest.

That was just me posturing. And I kind of, I wanted to be a big man on the podcast. You do have this affect where I believe you if you're acting hurt. Like I remember on the old show, I said some joke and you looked like you had just watched your puppy get killed and I felt really bad at it. I'm kind of abandoned the joke midway. I think he was lying. And it turned out later I was like,

hey, sorry for bringing that up. And you're like, it was acting. And I was thinking, oh my God, you acted feelings right out of me. Like I actually, so you're probably right. All right, Dustin, what else are you got? That's good. How about, do you remember your boy, Stefano?

Yeah, I do. Stefano, he wants to know when did you each first discover the ability to mastermate and what was the weird fucked up way you did it? I'll tell, I know this, I've never told the story. I will tell it right now. I was watching an episode of Conan O'Brien. Yeah. And there was a sexy, it was a pornoparity, because there was a Tarzan toy at the time that

came in McDonald's Happy Meals that would jack off. That would jack off it. So they had to take it off of the shelves. They didn't learn from the GI Joe Kung Fu grip. No, seriously, you think they would have known. So they do like a sketch about it where like a sexy blonde Russian lady is taking her off her clothes in front of, in front of this Jack and off Tarzan toy. And I go, oh, that's how you jack off. And then I jacked off. And my whole world changed. And I was like, I was old. I was like

15 or something. Like, and I had never, I had never, like, people would always say like, oh, you're playing with yourself. So like, I would try to just like, play with, play with myself. I was just smacking around. Yeah. And I was like, well, I just didn't feel good with it. Yeah, I'm playing with it. Yeah. And then ever since then, I've loved Conan O'Brien. Yeah. I was, I was watching an episode of American gladiators, dry hopping a bean bag. Yeah. With somebody shooting tennis balls at you the whole time or? I do forever. So the smell of tennis balls,

you're in an instant erection now. Okay. All right. That must be hard in LA. There's a lot of those courts. Tennis, yeah. Yeah. They're everywhere.

All right. Next question here. Mike Atkinson wants to know, so how did you guys first meet? Is there some interesting backstory? We're not all in on kind of like the the Sean and Dick European adventure, but with a stereo. Is there anything like that whatsoever? No, what happened was I was doing the tournament of nerds and I was prepping Joan as Emperor Palpatine to go up against this new guy dick who came on the show and uh...

and then he was immediately hilarious i also i that's how i met george was through the turn of nerds i didn't know anything until years later i didn't know who maddox was what the best page in the universe was who did masters was these two guys were just guys that i would hang out with and like it we would grab a beer, we would get some, you know, nachos or whatever.

And then all of a sudden, they start doing this podcast, and it's like, holy fuck, who are these guys? Because I thought they were just like comedy buddies in mine. And that's how we met. And we started working together on the show. And you kind of heard all of our friendships like grow on the air, because it was all real. Yeah, I don't have anything to add.

Dustin, we're gonna watch your, we're gonna watch your rally up the dickheads video now. Oh, nice, okay, cool. Yeah, I'm gonna put it on right now. Feel free to stay on the line. I'm gonna watch that and then we're gonna finish up. Let's do it.

We got a lot more recording to do here, boys. For sure. Here we go. This is Dustin going and interviewing potential voters, Trump supporters and Hillary supporters. Are you registered under a certain party or affiliation? No. Okay. I'm a organ donor. Okay. As you should be. Yep. So Hillary Clinton has actually said that she wants to paint the White House black because white people have been in charge for too long. How do you feel about that? I'm well I mean the White House is the White House and she doesn't really make any sense when she says anything. Okay.

Hillary Clinton says she's going to put OJ Simpson on Mount Rushmore to improve race relations. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck. She's sick. Like why would you even put a murderer on a match? A match more. Hey, hey. What's a stupid? Why is that stupid? It is stupid because he has done really bad things. What has he done? He stole his stolen merchandise.

That's my favorite. That's my favorite, is it? No, I don't know. They'd be able to wipe him all the way. Trump said recently that he wants to build a wall between the United States and Mexico We should also build a wall around Hawaii, he said just in case Would you support that? No Why didn't we do that with Cuba?

And why do we have Why didn't we do that with Cuba when it first started and Guam and Guam? Right, Guam, I'm a Gary Pee Wom. That's really. We're in favor. Why don't we do that? Absolutely not. Why not? Because it's stupid.

What's even in Hawaii? I mean coconuts. Don't give this shit about coconuts. What? Gary Clinton has actually suggested a nationwide curfew on men in the United States. So women feel safe. Do you agree with this policy? Hell no. The women feel safe. Do you agree with this policy? Hell no. The

women are problem, dude. I love chopping. You love his truth. I love his truth. Let's see your signs. You got that. He's saying signs. The horrible lives matter. And we love the basement dwellers. She loves them. I love basement dwellers. I want all of them to come in and out of the horrible basket before they go dwelling in the basements. Do you believe Donald Trump when he says he's never actually used the catch phrase, I Caramba?

Considering he hates a lot of his spaniac things. Does he? Is that true? Trump wants to ban people. Who believes that? I love this. It's true, you're the best. How do you feel about his recent comments about banning ugly women from the United States?

Well, again, would you be a pro or against that? No, no, I'm not sure yet. He loves pussy. He loves pussy. And any heterosexual man that's old man think about every minute of the day there was a study done That's all they think about is pussy. Right. Are you familiar with Lena Dunham? I am The actress from the creator of girls. Yeah, do you know that you wanted to make an all-girl remake of saving power? So she wants to make a World War II

epic about men's farming the beaches of Norman. But all women. Yeah. She has the right to do that. Would you see it in theaters at a sheer curiosity, probably? Would that fat bitch be in it as long as she goes buster? Oh, that's dead. It's going so well.

Oh, yeah. It's not professional. It's not professional. I heard the girls lack the talk. I was going to look here. I'm going so high. It's not professional. I was going so high. I was going so high. It's not professional. It's not professional. I was going so high. It's not professional.

It's not professional. I was going so high. It's not professional. It's not professional. It's not professional. It's not professional. And then what the hype comes to size, you know? And then you go with the belly. The belly, exactly, if your feet are big, their belly's big, if your feet are small, the belly's small, you know?

I think, yeah. I think it's all the same. It's everything. All right, guys, let's wrap it up. The series, let's plug your book again. Absolutely, you can get it. Go to Amazon.com. Dustin, thank you for submitting that.

No, thanks for the opportunity. And I hope there's not a 500 comment thread on Reddit about it, that's a. No, there will be, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. I haven't seen thousand. Bring the gas. Go ahead, that was fucking hilarious.

You can find my fucking hilarious new book, Toys For Cheap by going to Amazon.com and searching toys. The number four, the word cheap, or go to DevastatorPress.com slash cheap, free Amazon shipping if you got Amazon Prime. And I think it's even discounted on the Amazon store. And when you buy it, I get a little bit of a cash off the cover price. So I'd appreciate it if you buy it. Thank you, mysterious for coming by. Thanks for listening. Go to the dickshow.com for more. Go to patreon.com slash the dick show to check out the bonus episode that we were

just in going over porn savers. The sick masters didn't see next Tuesday. Presenting Gonna do voicemails. Yeah, let's do some voicemails I'm a little concerned with the creative direction you two are taking with my podcast. What started off as a dick show is turning into the cook show because you keep talking about Maddox and you know I'm not a fan like HotGoth is great but talking about Maddox doesn't help me get laid, doesn't help you know what scotch to drink it just not feeling it. So if you value my $5 investment, investment bank rolling your back out of how we do an episode about that i think we just did didn't expect that there's no cost in that episode

they did sound like you could be doing little shit on reddit with the that keep it up the other side not a they don't know not a lot to say not a verb There's the other side. Not a, they don't know, not a lot to say. Not a verbose side, the other side, I don't know. Hey, Dick, I just wanted to call in with a message for your

co-host last week, Mike. You know, Mike, I get it, man. I really do. I used to be a lot like you. You know, that constant, that burning inside, that vortex of bile in your gut. And I just want to let you know that if if the black pills not working out for you, you should really try the purple pill next year.

I'm going to go fuck yourself. Uh, purple pill. I had, I tried to get a guy to write about all kinds of pills all uh... dammit but he said you can feel free to do it as he didn't do it uh... he wrote me a bunch of pills and they were like super power pills i mean that's not what the pills are about it's about a world view yeah but i don't know if we missed it

hey dick this was jones uh... i don't think i've called in for a while shit i just filled my fucking drink uh... so anyway this uh... stern of it's guy you know i i like him uh... i don't think i've called in for a while shit i just feel the fucking drink uh... anyway that's uh... sternavitch guy you know i i i like them you know and and i really uh... really felt for him when he's telling his whole story about being black ball stupid bitch accused him of rape and all that and uh... you know i really like this guy but then he they started talking about politics and totally lost me

uh... but i went to his website you know, because I still mostly like the guy and I post a comment You know basically tell him that he's a re-star when it comes to politics And he deleted my comment telling me that I'm too stupid to post on his website So what exactly is this guy's deal? It seems like his entire premise of his career or his persona is like i'm gonna tell you i'm gonna you know i'm never gonna get rid of free speech i'm all about free speech and in the first fucking comment i post on his website it's deleted basically because i posted a liberal opinion what a fucking faggot your every time that's the liberal

biggest truck i'll call a bad deal he is no different than other S&Ws. He is literally censoring opinions he doesn't agree with. He is a gigantic, baggy pussy. Oh my god. You're not helping our case. We call the gun. So another thing.

Third advantage, that whole thing about you being too attractive to be a rapist, I think you might want to rethink that a little bit, you know? And your voice doesn't really help too much. You kind of sound like a fucking duck. You hear your listening, like, you know, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like,

you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, So wait, did you, I forgot about that a lot of people said like, no, that's that's

preposterous because I'm not saying him whether he's an attractive guy or not, that's, I'm not talking about him. Sean, I don't want to know if you think Michael Cernovich is an attractive man. Well, we all think he's a super hot hot. But one has nothing to do with the other. But wait, did you think he was saying that? Because I read the Reddit, a lot of people were saying like, he was saying that? Because I read the Reddit thread, and a lot of people were saying like, he was saying that he doesn't think attractive men

can commit rape. Like, no, nobody's saying that. No, nobody thinks that. He was saying that it usually backfires. What do you mean it usually? He said that it usually backfires on guys like you guys, the accusation. The accusation's backfire.

That's what I thought he was talking about too, but I had to. That is what he was talking about. But no, see, I think I don't think that's true. I think most people are Trump is probably the most beautiful man that's ever lived in it. It's working on. No, I think most people know a little bit more about psychology than that.

Oh, you overestimate people. I don't think so. I don't think so because you see too many cases in the media, you know, you've ever heard a Darren Sharper, the football player, the safety, guys, a stud. Good looking dude, great player. He's in jail for 20 years now because he was cosby and fucking people. Well, he went, wait a minute, but he was actually a rapist. Yeah, he was actually, I thought my ex point was like the first ploy that they try to do on it, if you're too attractive, they won't accuse you of that because I know know a guy who's like kind of looks like a slub.

And I mean, I don't want to get into the anecdote game. You tell me more about the slub. I think people will accuse attractive people because they go, oh, they're entitled, man. They can do whatever they want. Maybe you're right. I mean, I don't, maybe you're right. I think that if you can label someone a creep,

if they look like a creep, they can kind of accuse you of more than they can accuse a good looking person of. It can be general. Well, it is true that good looking people are treated better in society. Yeah. And this is maybe, this is one facet of that. That's as liberal as I'll take what he was saying. Yeah.

I don't know. I say, what did you think? I thought he made another comment that sort of was a tangent to that. Did it come as a cuck mate? No, no, no, no, no, no. I took it really. No, that it was a nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice. That it was a good looking thing.

There's another good looking thing. I don't remember. I think that he was talking about public perception, which made me not be sure. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, They're throwing you up there, of course. K, wait. Let's end the live stream.

Sure. Right now, guys. Thank you for watching. Keep an eye on your email. I'm gonna send out those free shirts, emails, as soon as I figure out how to do it. Yeah. So thanks for watching.

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