The Dick Show - Episode 210 - Dick on Calling the Police

Episode Date: June 9, 2020

SWAT waiters, defunding the police, too much circle meat, old men falling down, Smash Brothers coaching, Black Lives Matter killed the COVID hoax, juggling two women, Xanax vs. crack cocaine, Maddox appropriate's his ex-girlfriend's culture of victimhood, Nickelodeon's tutorial on breathing, wearing earrings wrong, women can't do simple math, and not having an honest conversation about race; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

We were just kids, we believed anything. Yeah, that our parents stopped the hoverboard from hitting the market. Remember that? Sons of bitches. Yeah, a bunch of parents got together and did, but they had it worked. Totally worked. Totally worked. Yeah, my uncle works it.

Mattel. Yeah, but they, a bunch of moms, like the PTA got together and just man, they didn't want them red in their school. So sucks. Can you bump me up a little bit? Could I have the hoverboard? Could I have the hoverboard? Goddamn moms, fuck this right away.

I'm an early age. Yeah. Klingon was the fastest growing language. Moms killed the hoverboard. What else? Well, there's lots of those. Duh, duh, duh, duh. Verman Supreme calling in today.

Oh, cool. Can't wait to find out if the Libertarian party is like an H-O-A. Oh, I've got that to ask him. Just want to get his take on that. Seems like a character. Like an interesting dude. Yeah.

He's real smart. He's like in his, what, 50s or 60s? He's older, right? He is older than that. Oh, he made, okay. He's been around a while. I know he's younger than Mitt Romney. Because he made a joke about how the reason he looks like shit

compared to Mitt Romney is because he's not the devil. Oh, something like that. I say, but Mitt Romney's old as fuck. Is it me? He's probably over 70 now. Vermin Supri, yeah. 60. Oh, he's 60.

Yeah, 59. Yeah, he looks like shit. He looks like shit for 59. Hard, yeah, I mean, he probably hasn't lived that easy alive, but you know, I don't know where he stays, you know. Yeah. Ipony, a blueprint for America. That's one of his books.

Yeah. Has he written multiple books? I hope so. Yeah, I would think so. Look at that. Nope, just those two. Two. And recent, two, 2018. Was that like an updated? Looks like it's an updated one of it. That's like a little updated, doesn't it? It looks like

he did the cover himself. Maybe he had a buddy. Yeah, maybe. He sort of looks like the the travelosity gnome on there. Well, or crossed with like some kind of a conquistador or something. That's true. He does look like that. Oh, it's copyright Seth. So his friend Seth did the... His friend, his buddy Seth did it.

In 2001. Well, that doesn't mean that's how the old book is. I don't know. He's been around for a long time. Still late. It's not late. He's been around for a long time. Still late. It's not late. It's broadcasting. Biotch.

Yeah, toilet man. What do you want? What do you want him to ask him? He's a hell of a smart guy. You know who else is a smart guy? Can't bot. I don't know who that is. He's just an internet guy.

He was in that field with no girlfriend documentary. It's one of the in-cells that hasn't had a girlfriend. Yeah, but he's remarkably smart to you. I went into his podcast and had no yelling. Wow. At all. It was like the opposite of the destiny podcast. No yelling.

Two guys talking. I really had to try to think of things. Yeah. It was weird. Because usually people give you the ammo so you can just scream back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, okay.

Usually, so you're saying. Yeah. So you're saying. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Nobody's, the moms did fuck us, I said it so much. Yeah, yeah.

They really did. Nobody's marching for the kids. Mm. My nephews have screen time. Kids have no rights. They have no rights at all. They're constantly paying bills. That doesn't matter.

Neither do other people. No, but that's rights. They don't pay shit. They get all the rights in the world. Do they really have rights though? Mm. They don't pay shit. They get all the rights in the world. Do they really have rights though? Mm-hmm. They get rights and rights. Yeah, from the hands of the police,

but the moms, the moms are allowed to do whatever they want. Well, we can call for a punishment. They're the birth givers. They're the life givers. Fuck that shit. They can give life and they can take it that away. Screen, screen lives matter. Kids, yeah, they, yeah, kid.

Screen time. Can you imagine that? Oh, when we were kids, we were talking, I can't. When we were kids, it was, what did you do today? I played video games for about 30 hours today. Actually, that's what I did. Okay, who cares? Yeah. I guess that didn't go on in my house.

Like we kind of like self-regulated on the, I mean, you know me, like I'm not a, you guys are not, you're not a, you're not like top gun. My brother was way more into it than me, but even he, like we did, we were playing hockey and we were playing, like so it wasn't, it wasn't a thing that they had to be like,

hey, get off of there. My parents didn't care. Yeah. We don't give a shit. What do you think we got you the TV for in there? That beautiful 19 inch screw. So you can screw in terminal in the back. You remember those? I do. Oh, man.

That's good. I do 19 inch. Yeah. Yeah. God old TV used to be so fucking heavy. Yeah, when everything was all contained in the, yeah, you don't think you could play Mario on the 19 inch TV, but you can get right in there and play it. Well, back in those days,

it looked better on a smaller TV. Yeah, you know? Smooth. Yeah, like a real guy. Yeah, smaller, yeah, the pixels were little. Yeah. You're a prisoner. Yeah, like a real guy smaller. Yeah, the pixels were little. Yeah. You're a prisoner. Yeah. No money to some extent. Yeah, you are.

I don't know. I hope the warden cooks reasonably well. Have you been laughing? Have you been having a good time this week? I've been completely out of it this week as far as news, all that kind of stuff. No, because I've been unpacking shit because I moved. So, yeah, it's been like, so has a significant, a lot of America's been unpacking shit at a target. Yeah. Now, if you notice that. Yeah, yeah. So I've heard some guy drive an SUV through a target.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. Just like Ryan and Mike and Emerson, it was wearing an act like disguise. Really? It's just a black guy. Yeah, he drove just like right in the way I was doing was wearing an at the skies. Really? Just as a black guy. Yeah, I drove a SUV through.

That's what Joe Rogan said. I don't. Jesus. Why do we have police, John? I just want that. I want that one question answered. Why do we have police? To keep to keep targets stocked with something. I don't know. I don't know why we have them

To keep us inside That's white privilege That's white privilege. Yeah! Welcome to Dick, you want Dick and Dick and Dick, you got it? But yeah, we're having to contest. Come to your life for a mountain bunk and even the hardest city of the area. My host Dick, my action. Okay, the $20 million man voted America's worst.

Mexican 60, weeks running. Joining me again in studio after not being here last week is world touring LA based committee to shine the audio engineer Hello dick. Hey, what's up, buddy? Good to have you back. Thank you. Good to have you back It's just fucking depressing without you here really. Oh god. How come every time every time I'm gone Somebody has like an existential crisis. I don't know. It's Johnny. He always Johnny He's the one who says it too. He goes, every time I come in, it's like the most depressing episode.

Oh, the last week was, it was hilarious. And also like, holy shit. Is null, like, is he having a, is he okay? Well, I mean, I could, it just sounded like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Like, I really did.

I know that tone. I've experienced that tone. Like it was like, it's, I'm not even going to talk about what's really going on because it's so fucking soul crushing right now. I don't know what the guys are right. I like that guy. Me too. And then coach came in with a big fucking scar on his face.

I think that threw him off all day. Oh, man, you got a big, that's a man. I didn't see it. That's a man who with a family. You know, sometimes men that get in with their families and then I used to getting their balls busted like that. And I'm like, man, you got a big fucking slash mark across your face.

What's going on? Instantly. Yeah, not, not really happy about this machete move that I have on my face. I'm not used to you. No, get out of here. What, so he had some skin cancer removed or something? Yeah. I have a new face. I'm not used to you. No, I'll get out of here. What was it? So he had some skin cancer removed or something.

Yeah. Was it like, I mean, where is it? Like on his forehead, on his cheek? It was right here. Right here. And it was like not cool enough of a scar. Yeah. It was a cross.

So it just looked like, instead of going, like a cool scar, as it goes up through your eye. Yeah. And then your eye is like a different color. And then it keeps going up through your head. That's cool. Never tell you my buddy, when I was a kid, I haven't talked to him in years,

but he got slashed in the face with a chainsaw. Nice. Yeah, where? Pretty cool, down the eye. Fucking right, yeah. Did he lose the eye? No. It glanced off the bone and skirted around it

and then down through his cheek. Did it look cool when it healed? Yeah, it was pretty cool. Well, it's because Johnny is so relaxed. He sits over there judging. He's pretty nice. He's pretty mellow, isn't it?

That's his trick. He seems mellow, but he's just sitting there judging you. Yeah. I'm just kidding. I love Johnny. Well, I'm just kidding, I love Johnny. Well, I don't know what, I am, I've realized today as we're opening up, as we're opening up the country,

opening up restaurants as we're allowed to go back into the world and deal with the servers who are wearing fucking Pentium clean room outfits to serve you drinks. Have you been to a restaurant yet since it opened? No, neither were wearing. They're wearing fucking welding masks. Oh, are they? They took them in the riot police.

The riot police who are out mobile sneeze guard. There is really a mobile sneeze guard. It really fucking is. They and the kneeling cops, they go to the same store. And they suit up. The servers and the cops suit up. The kneeling fence. Sean, we need to take a moment to kneel

at the beginning of the show. Jesus. We need eight minutes of silence at the beginning of the show. Today, eight and a half minutes for our, for Fentanyl Floyd, for your man, for our man and heaven, Fentanyl Floyd. Oh, Jesus. I, I, I, you know, so now you found,

you found yourself on the side of the majority. So now it's about face for you this week, isn't it? Am I on the majority now? Well, no, you were. Now you're not going to be. I mean, I, I, thank God. Thank God it was fentanyl and, and meth, in Floyd's system and not crack.

That's all I have to say. Thank God it was white people drugs. I don't know where to look. It's not like usually the toxicology reports take weeks to get back. Somehow they managed to get it done right away. Really? For real?

How they managed to find a bunch of fentanyl. Does it matter? If, look, if I get killed by police, I hope I'm on a shitload of fentanyl. If I got more drugs than that in my system. No, it doesn't matter, but I'm just always curious if that's true or not, when they go like, oh, the, you know, like the preliminary autopsy.

Who the fucking cares? I'm so tired. I'm so tired of people and their takes and their little tribalized and their hot, their- That's everybody. I wasn't gonna combo meal takes on this issue. I can't fucking take it anymore. I can't fucking take it anymore. I can't fucking take it.

Well, anymore. Shouldn't it just be more, shouldn't it be more simple? Like did he kill that guy? Yeah, he did, right? Yeah, of course. And that's why like everybody, yeah, and the old black guy who was high out of his,

the old felon, the old violent felon who was high out of his mind on drugs to the cop kill him. Yeah, yeah, that's their job. That's, that's what, that's their fucking jobs. Jesus. Are you guys, do you forget why they exist? They don't go, they don't go to 800 hours of weapons training in five hours of deescalation training so they can, so they can make friends out in the streets. They don't have friendship guns that they're carrying around all the time.

No, they have to stay up on all that new military technology they get, right? The federal government. They're complicated pieces of equipment. I saw Bernie Sanders say the federal government should defund police who are something some like who are not using escalation i think wait a minute why is the federal government funding them at all what the fuck are you talking about this is so far past this is so far past but of course

this should be funding the period of state guys yeah yeah community guys yeah right fucking neighbors well that's and they've gone further and further and further from that, and now the cops, it's just there's such a wall and a disconnect. It's like, this is our eight minutes of silence, by the way, four minutes into it. Yes, it's very quiet for us actually.

Yeah. Nickelodeon, did you see that? Nickelodeon played eight minutes of someone breathing. Oh, it's the, I know they do that. That's just sick. this is just sick. Sick display. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is a macabre, Demented display of brain washery. Oh, fuck my studios. I know my studios are. I know my studios are. I know my studios are. I know my studios are. I know my studios are.

I know my studios are. I know my studios are. I know my studios are. I know my studios are. I know my studios are. I know my studios are. I know my studios are. I know my studios are. I know my studios are. I know my studios are. of, why was there eight minutes of breathing? Unicolodian. And that's weird. Well, where do I start? Yeah.

You see, son, it all starts with the Federal Reserve. Yeah, well that's, that is exactly where you would go. Yeah. And then the kid, the rest of his life will never ask you another question. Yeah. As long as he lives ever. Yeah.

He's gonna Google the shit out of things. He will talk to everybody but you because he doesn't wanna hear the Federal reserve talk one more time. Oh, yeah. I was having dinner with the friends last night. Yeah. The first time every, you know, we're opening back up again. People are in the riot shields, waitresses and waiters are in riot, riot shields, right? Looking terrified. We went to a, we went to a sit down dinner. Yeah. They had this list of rules. Where'd you go?

Right down the street. Oh, just that fake. Gotcha. Some cafe that probably won't be there in too much. They come out in the riot shield. And they're like, please, please. It's like the Chris Farley show going out to dinner now. Just if you could just bear with us, we're opening.

It's a little confusing for us. It's like, man, relax. Yeah. Just if you could just bear with us we're opening it's a little confusing for us like man relax. Yeah sit down. Doesn't fucking matter. Do you understand that a mile and a half from here there's 10,000 people kneeling and licking each other's boots? Do you understand that they're passing cup batons around and sucking it off in protests right now. Oh, God. That's not, you're not doing shit here, buddy. Yeah. It's open. Yeah. We're open.

Yeah. All those health experts got together and decided that race to thumb was a worse pandemic than an invisible virus. Oh, boy. Anyway, what was my point was that I'm sick of circle meets. It was because of going out, circle meats, circle meats. I never wanna see another circle meat. Really?

Again in my life. No sausage, no, that's as after talking about a circle meat. Circle sandwich meat. I had, I had ones, I had a circle sandwich meat on Friday for lunch and I said, I can't do that. I can't eat anymore. I don't know why. I had a sandwich with circle circular meat like a

bloomy meat salami not salami though I could find it's not defined by its circularity it's defined by its well mouth feel I think it's a little bit different I don't know that salami comes in if that you got I mean lots of salamis I don't know I can't think of one that comes not the kind of banter we miss of salamis. I don't know, I can't think of one that comes not the kind of banter we miss when Johnny was here. Yeah. I don't know why, for some reason, with the shopping and the Amazon deliveries

and the Instacarts, I have been living a Groundhog's Day of Circular Meat for the last three months that there has been no escape and I didn't realize it until I bit into another circular meat sandwich and said, this is, that's it. It instantly felt like home, right? You're like, no, no, no, no, I believe it. I believe it. No more circle. I'm never eating another circle meat in my 20 years from now. The kids are gonna go, Uncle, why do you not, why do you, why does he not, why is he not eating lunch?

Like, oh, he doesn't do circle meats. It was a very traumatic time. I grandmother's meat potatoes for the same reason. Really? Yeah, because it's a great, whatever she grew up in. Depressed to her hoax, shut the country down in her lifetime. Yeah, right, right, right. Potatoes, huh?

Yeah, you know what I'm starting. You know, you gotta, some kids are picky. You know, they want the sandwich cut fucking diagonally because it's cooler or something or they cut the crust off or so they're gonna just cut the, they're gonna turn all your circle meats into little squares and like layer them like like shingles on a roof. Cut overlapped and circle meat.

Cut it into a fucking square. No, I'm not eating it. Now it tastes better. This is it, Sean. This sums up the entire thing, I think. This woman, this brave young, how old do you think this bitch is? I don't know. About 19.

Something like legal. Would you check ID if you got a blowjob from this chick, I guess is the most. I think she's older than that. She's protesting. She's got it all summed up. She's got it all summed up. She's got it all summed up for us. This is very weird.

If I, this is her protest sign. If I hid black Americans in my uterus, would their lives finally matter? Hashtag crooked on the side because she ran out of room. Hashtag black lives matter. That's it. That's,. That's she's got it. Exactly right, ma'am. If I hid Black Americans in my uterus, would their lives finally matter?

Bravo. That's the take. That's the one I'm taking home. Honest conversation about race? No. All you need to know is if I hid black lives in my uterus, would they matter? If the moon was made of cheese, could you eat it?

Right. Would you eat it? Cubs win. Cubs win. If I hid black Americans in my uterus, would their lives finally matter? That cops are gonna start exploding like robots with the logical fallacy, you know?

Does not compute. Yeah. They'd be like, wait a minute, she's aiding in a bedding. Oh goodness. Ah, I got some more matic stuff today too. Let me see what else I have. Eight minutes. I love Oxmad so much. I me see what else I have. Eight minutes left. I love Oxmad so much.

I think, right? I thought about that the whole, did we do that on the bonus or did we do that? Yeah, we did. Bonus episode. We have to do more of that. Somebody, he's a banana now too. Oh, really?

Yeah. I think Maddox has a cousin. He's a banana. Banana docs. What's banana docs? Yeah. So he's pretending to be, it's his fruit zona. Oh.

He's pretending to be. Are you making this up like the fruit zona heart? Did you just come up with that? I came up with that. Just now. No, I stole it from Twitter. Oh, okay. I was gonna say, that's pretty smooth.

He just came up with that. Here's Camel of Yeah, fruit zona. I didn't come up with that. Here's, Ehmatics is continuing his war against the Patreon and racism. Let me read this. let me read this one for you. This is what Mattics has to say. Oh, I can't even, Mattics tweeted a bunch of N words. I can't even show this.

He tweeted pictures of N words. So Jack Conti stands with Black Creator. Oh, he's talking about why sued the company. Yeah. Maybe I can kind of pull this off frame so you don't see the end words. I'm not gonna risk it. No, don't show any end words.

He says, no, you don't, Maddox, man, can you imagine how bad that these protests would be if we'd been saying the end word for the last 20 years? You think racism is bad now, Sean? Imagine if we had an all stopped saying these slurs, then, wow, then things would really be out of control. No you don't, Maddick says to Jack Conti, Patreon CEO, I sued your company because you

enable creators to stock, harass, smear, and make rape and death threats on your platform. You platform white nationalists, ethno-centrists, and bigots, you profit off of this. You're a disingenuous fraud. Here's a small sample. And then for some reason, he lists, he has like, oh, then he has, then he lists the daily stormer, which is a white, white nationalist blog.

Are they on Patreon? No. But they wrote something about the lawsuit making fun of him and they linked to me. And then he uses that as a tie to them. Here's the other one. He kept going to one wasn't enough. The hell is wrong with him. No, here's a picture. This is like the ultimate fucking mom neighborhood watch move.

That he does now, this is his statement, Maddox. This is Jack Conti, CEO of Patreon. He has directly, and he's got a big picture of Jack Conti in his pamphle mouse headshot, like C.P.A. looking, washed out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He says, I stand with black creators, blah, blah, blah. This is Jack Conti, CEO of Patreon. He is directly profiting off white supremacy.

He's had at least, I guess we all are in America. Isn't that the point, Sean? We're all profiting off of this white supremacy. I mean, he is directly profiting off white supremacy. He's had at least three white nationalists on podcasts funded by his platform since November alone, including Holocaust denier Nick Fuentes. You think he's talking about me? You think Maddox is talking about me

because Nick was on, he called into this show. And white supremacist Stefan Mollingew. Do they both have Patreon accounts? I don't think so. I think they just don't even know. I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I mean, that's, it makes sense that Maddox would do that

where he just like connects like, oh, well, this person, dude, everything's about me. Well, everything goes back to me. Everybody is like three degrees of separation from Adolf Hitler, apparently. You know what I mean? Like, it's like, so if he wants to do it like that,

then you're gonna be able to connect whoever you want. Mental Jess, through her hat in the ring as well, complaining about Maddox, complaining about white nationalists and white supremacists, she says, Maddox is using the racist stuff I went through well, when we were together now, well after we broke up. So she's mad that Maddox got the races in the divorce.

Yeah, he's, right. He's, yeah, appropriating. He's appropriated her experience. Her victimhood culture. I'm not sure what it is called, but he's literally using my quote struggles and they're definitely quote struggles. As if they were his, as if they were his to attack Patreon without my consent. The last sentence, she gets it in the last sentence.

As if he was a black woman, it's worried, stupid bitch, learn grammar. I'm literally an object. That's it right there. I'm literally an object. She figured, actually, a pawn, but he worst of the objects, the least valuable of the objects. But she figured out how he views other people and other women in particular. That's what he's, that's where he's at. Giant race riots happening all over the country. Actually, actually, this is really Dick Masterson's fault for having Stefan Molenu on a show

Here's what I think would do it eight minutes of silence for every black person in America I think we could do that. What is that 50 million black people if everybody could just I'm not sure What is it 40 13% yeah the population? What are we 340 million people something million? Yeah. It's got to be about 40. 40 million, how many minutes of silence is that? 40 million times eight. That's 320 million minutes of silence. If everybody could just commit to that,

I think the world would be a much better point. Oh, it would. It would. Yeah. Do you think you could commit to it, Sean? I'm gonna go one by one. Everyone in America, I just need you to give me eight minutes of silence for every single black person in America.

And I think it would be a much better spot. I can you talk to your team while you think about it? Can you talk to yourself? No, that's the last person who wants to hear from you. Is yourself. That would be very difficult. But I would say that in that, I have a better than average chance.

I could do it more easily than most people. I've got some funny videos for you. Yeah. Yeah, this one made me a... This one I love. I've been watching and laughing it up all to myself over and over and over again. Here is an old man. Everyone's probably seen this one before.

Here is an old man who looks like Slender Man, dawdling over to the riot police. What are they gonna do, shove him down? Yeah, here we go. There's one. Stabbing the old man, stabbing towards their gun areas with a hand, get out of the, fuck it.

Yeah. Ow! Watch the blood coming out of the fuck it yeah ow watch the blood coming out of the back of his ass yeah like whoops he's bleeding out of his ears stay home old man fucking stop this is the whole reason we had to shut everything down

excuse you motherfuckers won't stay home when you're supposed to play it again, Jesus Hey officers You guys watch starting out live. Oh look at these limit nice guns nice guns got here man get the fuck out of the way Get the fuck out of here with that What job do you have some old some gangly old motherfucker getting in your face while you're trying to walk in a straight line? What job do you have? Do you, if you're working at CVS and you're walking down an aisle carrying a bunch of heavy shit and some old asshole What was even in your face? Yeah, what is he even doing? I just what yeah, what was he doing? What are you doing?

stabbing around Okay, yeah cops are a big problem. Okay, yeah, cops are a big problem. Oh yeah, oh, you like that here. I'm gonna go fuck with them. Well, I mean, that's kind of on you, man. It's kind of on you at that point. I agree that their assholes have you worked with, do you have any assholes at your job?

That you're stopping? Well, all the cops are stopping all the assholes at their job. Do you have any incompetent pricks at your place of work that you're not able to stop? I don't know. I don't know. Factor that into that somehow.

Do you even have a job, sir? Do you understand how incompetent everybody is at their job? Clearly not. If you're walking up to somebody doing their job and stabbing at their fucking gun. I don't know what he was doing. He was trying to get his ass kicked is what he was doing. What he was doing.

There's another one here. Another old guy getting flipped. Old guy's getting flipped. Here comes another atrocity. Oh, excuse me, officers. Oh, I was just, my wife and I were just texting about what we should do with our double stimulus checks that we have and that we got in retirement.

What can I do for you? Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, oh no! Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah Stay home! Stay the fuck home old people for God's sake. Um, oh here's a good one. Yeah. This is the face of the resistance. I really like this one. This little fat girl getting arrested. Here we go. Here's the little girl in a flower backpack. Sobbing.

She's a beautiful, commit crimes, is on her shirt. She's not gonna make it in a big house. I sure lost that bet that red made, you know of it. Chao's saying, town on it. They aren't letting her have her dialysis, Sean. You're the only one who's willing to have her dialysis. Look at this. Can you imagine having to deal with this? Oh God, there is not enough money in the world to go to work and fucking kneel.

Yeah. Oh, well have fun with your protests everyone. While you guys are thinking about black and white, a lot of America's thinking about green. Green. Green. I knew it was gonna come back to green. And the stock market showed their support of black lives

by going black, bigger than it has this year, ever, all week. So keep fucking wasting your time with this shit, I guess. Okay. What else do I have here? Old people won't stay home. Privateize the police. Is that the, are you down defunding the police? You like that idea?

Well, I mean, I don't think the, how much federal money goes to states. I think it's like 15%, but it's all in a big guns. Well, that's what they give money for. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. Like military stuff, right? Yeah.

Yeah, stuff that they shouldn't have. They have no businesses. Yeah, no, no, no. Yeah, I don't think the federal government should, I can't think of any reasons offhand why the federal government should be funding the cops for any state. I mean, it'd be great if they, because there's way too many. Yeah. It'd be great if they could just get rid of all

and so many cops that they couldn't enforce drug laws or domestic violence or speeding tickets anymore, or at least like 90% of them. And then just that's about right. Like all the violent stuff, yeah. The violent stuff done to people who didn't put themselves in that situation.

Yeah, that's about what I expect you guys to do for this amount of money. Yeah, that's about it. Don't need to have any kind of conversation about it. Just cut them back. Put those on the chopping block first. Then everybody deal with that. That probably won't happen though.

Here's something interesting I found out. That probably won't happen though. Here's something interesting I found out. Despite fewer crimes, millennials face more arrests than their parents. Is that right? Yeah. So interesting. Yeah, because that seems about right.

Okay, no. Fewer crimes, despite committing fewer crimes. Yeah, as a population. Yeah. So, okay, so I'm trying to cause appetite. Yeah, as a population. Yeah. So, okay. So, I'm trying to, because I'm... Yeah, okay. Despite committing fewer crimes, millennials face more arrests,

which means more interactions with the police as well. Yeah. For the more black men who self-reported no offenses, so I don't know what that means. We're 400 and 19% more likely to be arrested at the beginning of the 21st century than non-offending blacks of the previous generation. And 31% more likely to be arrested than whites of the same generation who did not self-report any crimes.

The study which appears in the Russell Sage Foundation, I don't know what that is, demonstrates the effects of the rise of proactive policing practices and increased targeting of minor infractions had on an entire generation. There's an idea that the direct link between committing a crime and having contact with the criminal justice system is essential to public policy, political rhetoric, and criminology, and the assumption is rarely ever questioned, but it should be.

That's what the author says. So they have more, way more interactions and they're getting busted for doing the same shit that their parents did. Like you got to join on you, your parents had to join all day. But now, you're getting busted. I forget that pretty much, like, we're the parents.

Yeah. It's, I can remember, I can remember cops, you know, pot was still totally illegal in California. This was even before medical weed and stuff like that. Yeah. And I can remember my buddies like, oh, yeah, I got pulled over and fucking, he's like, he just, he took my fucking pipe away.

Mm-hmm. Like he didn't even bought, you know, it's like he could have made a bigger deal of it, but it was like just like, oh yeah, one of them was just like, yeah, he made me fucking break it or made me, you know, like something, but it was like, it wasn't, it didn't go beyond that. Yeah.

So maybe that's, maybe that's part of the problem. I don't know, I don't know anything. All I know is I like watching people drive SUVs through Target, I think that's funny. What, no, it's one of the only times you probably see, you know, what you see in movies all the time. And I don't want to have an honest conversation about race because I'd like to keep my job. And so would everybody else. So let's just put all that stupid shit on the shelf, do whatever you want, rename the

boulevards, whatever you want. And let us get back to work, please, because we're all going insane. That's all, that's all I'd love. Let us get back to work and let us go back to the bars because we're all going fucking insane. Let's see what else I've got here. A decade's worth of progress for working,

oh, coronavirus is disproportionately impacting women. Of course it is. Let me see this. I thought it was more fatal for men. Oh, that's true. Sean, women don't measure in these numbers that you're talking about. It's their opportunities.

Men have not been spared, but preliminary research suggests women have been impacted disproportionately. Oh, no. In the workplace. In the workplace. A decades worth of progress for working women evaporated overnight. Ashley Reckonwald loves her job, but the reality of the pandemic is that someone has to

stay home with the kids. Oh no! Reckonwald, how did someone just dump these kids off on her? I don't know. It's amazing. I don't know. All of a sudden, she just got saddled dump these kids off on her? I don't know. It's amazing. I don't know. All of a sudden, she just got settled with these kids. One day they weren't there and the next they were. Gosh, that sucks, ladies.

Reckonwall, the physician's assistant in Princeton is among the 25 million working moms with kids under 18 years old that make up almost a third of the female labor force in the US. After the pandemic, shuttered schools and child care facilities in March she faced a painful decision of prioritizing a children over her career. That's not a painful decision if you're a decent human being. Shouldn't you go go like, hey, I'll fucking make it work. My kids come first. And that may, you know what, that may suck, but like that's fucking life, man.

So many other choices you have to make both end up sucking Yeah, I knew I had to put my kids first and my career unhold But it's like this pandemic is forcing women 10 steps back. Oh Oh Women yet again have suffered from the consequences of their decisions. Ah, someday, if only someday, God could apologize to them for making everything work out linearly in ways that are easily predictable. Sorry, ladies, I'm sorry. That's what's happening to them. Here's something else that makes me rage.

Like I saw pop up, the Stanford and the Milgram experiments, you know, those often touted experiments about how, so I saw them pop up about white people. I saw them pop up in a way to shit on white people, which is white people are predisposed to following authority. I don't know why it was framed that way, but it was. Yeah, turns out both of those experiments are fake. Yeah. Both. The Stanford one, the guards were told, oh, yeah, yeah, yes. We've talked about this.

So we talked about that one about the Milgram one. Yeah. Check this out. So the people, the Milgram experiment for the people who don't know was you, if you're told, you're told to shock somebody in the next room. They had it, they had somebody in the next room faking or they had a recording. So when you shocked them, it would play and they would go, please stop shocking me. I don't wanna be in this experiment anymore.

Please stop, please stop, please stop. And the people, they were told, continue with the experiment, to continue with the experiment. And they would keep doing it. Keep upping the voltage and someone's danger. Cause someone told a withering indictment of people's natural inclination towards following authority and told with great fervor

in academic learning institutions across the US, fucking fake. Yeah, so the Milgram one. The Milgram one. Somebody went through the tapes and the one of the most repeated answers for why they kept going with the experiment was that they thought it was a joke they thought if it was actually real they would not be allowed to do it so that something musted environment was probably not all it was cracked up to be. That a university was not torturing other people in another room.

Somehow they cracked that one on their own together, talking about the ingenuity of the human spirit. They should have told them they were monkeys. Yeah, but they're actually doing that. No, of course. He tortured monkeys, of course, but a lot actually doing that. No, of course. Actually torturing parties. Of course, but a lot of people wouldn't, probably wouldn't want to do that, but they would think that they would actually do it because they do it.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. The only problem is, is that a monkey is even though some people think, you know, it's like, oh, no, it's the same thing. It's like, no, it's not this fucking same thing. So you get the person, a person thing out of it. So it's imperfect anyway, but yeah, that's, I just thought it was a joke. They went like, you can it's not this fucking same thing. So you get the person, a person thing out of it. So it's imperfect anyway, but yeah, that's, I guess it was a joke. They were like, you can't do that.

I can't do this. I'm getting my five bucks out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Their response is, I didn't write any down. Their response is like, well, you know, I figured if it was real, there's no way they would let us do that. Oh, so you mean they're not stupid assholes that just do whatever they're told.

They're just regular fucking people. Like, you didn't get all the information. They didn't let all the information out there. You know, like, I mean, wouldn't that be pertinent to the, yeah. And then you go like, well, that's fucked. Oh, well, no shit. So you mean they saw through your dumb, yeah. Yeah. Okay. It was a poorly, it was a poorly engineered experiment to begin with. So you guys just wanted to get famous. I guess. Saying something shitty and cynical about people. So that's what then now.

And now everybody just believes it and builds their whole year-than-thou case based on a bullshit study that you did. Yeah, that's, yeah. Thanks a lot, guys. Thanks for doing that. Thanks for the book tour. Let me see here. Dozens of, already said dozens of public health and disease experts have signed an open letter in support of the nation-wide

anti-racism protests. White supremacy is a lethal public health issue that predates. You know what I love about these? I read everyone over and over. Yeah, why? I already don't like this. Why is the supremacy? It's like, I have this Billy Madison's answer playing in my head. The puppy was, the puppy was the industry, but the industry, my friends, that was a revolution.

White supremacy is a lethal public health issue that predates and contributes to COVID. Oh, okay. Like, so the disease was bad, but it was all, it was made worse because of white supremacy. Well, I know it's impacting, I don't know if you can type white supremacy to...

Oh, you better watch it. That sounds an awful lot. Like an honest conversation about race. I know you don't wanna be having one of those. Nobody does. Yeah, God. 1200 of the country's most renowned public health experts, which I doubt that they actually are.

It's probably just a bunch of stupid kids. Well, 1200 is a lot. It's a lot of experts to round out that quickly. Well, that's sort of what I mean. Yeah. Have signed a letter. I would have questions. Have signed a letter calling Outdoor Mask Gatherings

vital to the national public health. Oh. And to the threatened. So you can't have funerals. Wait, Outdoor Mask Gatherings? funerals. Wait, outdoor mask gatherings. Yeah, no, no, a mask. Oh, outdoor, they're saying riots. Outdoor mask gatherings.

Protest. Well, there's a lot of, there's a lot of peaceful protests going on though too. I mean, the news ain't showing it. But it doesn't, it's because you're not allowed to go to church. Yeah, no, yeah. I mean, they're, I know, yeah.

So hospital people are out applauding this shit. Like, we weren't allowed to have funerals two weeks ago. And now you're fucking clapping for this? For your TikToks, you fucking bitches. Well, you've been, I'm not even pissed off about it yet. Everybody's gotta, everybody's gotta make sure yeah, everybody's got to make sure they get out in front of there, that they're at the, at the, at the peak of this ship right now, the bow of the ship right now. You know what I mean? To be honest, I'm fucking glad

that it's happening because now you can point to it and say, they were fucking lying the whole time, the whole fucking time. If they're having been mass protests right now, we would have no control to say, look, you could have been open the whole fucking time. there hadn't been mass protests right now, we would have no control to say, look, you could have been open the whole fucking time. I don't know about that. I don't know if you can, I don't know if you can make that, if you can draw that, you can get closer to it. If nothing, if nothing had happened and everybody had just been locked down in their houses and slowly coming out, well, we were opening though. We were opening before all that slowly. Yeah. And California was one of the last

ones, but like other people. As soon as those protests started, Garcettica, open everything. We're open, open, open, open, open, open, open. I'm just saying, if the protests hadn't happened, we would be left with more uncertainty. It would be, there would be less people who thought, oh, this seems like, seems like maybe we could have been

a little bit more open before all these mass protests. Like you're telling me, you're telling me we went from zero to violent mobs. And we needed to ease into it more. It doesn't seem like it. Yeah, well, it seems like the violent mobs, the, well, they said my violent mobs. There's no putting the shit back in the horse. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, I'm glad Well at the end of the day. Yeah, and it's you know, yeah, I understand why Because it means I'm right. I understand what because you want to go out. I everybody wants to go out I like man. I got a haircut yesterday. It was fucking great. It was great Weird to what to be able to go get a hair out Seeing people. Well, you know, but I've, you know, I go out a lot

because I have been working and everything. But it's like, you know, remote sessions and everything. So it's like, I can't imagine if I were just staring at the inside of my house all the time. I mean, oh no, it's been horrible. Okay, let me see here what else do I have. And then Vermin Supreme's calling horrible. Okay, let me see her. What else do I have? And then Vermin's Supreme's calling in in 10 minutes, I think. Hey, hey.

Yippee-ki-yay, let me make sure I have the Skiperina on. I'll tell you what else makes me a rage is women leaving earrings on the table. I tripped on some magic, the gathering dice in the living room. Yeah. I wasn't even drinking that much. Maybe one drink in. Yeah, maybe the next step. I stepped on a 20-sided dice,

which is basically a ball. Yeah, yeah, it slips like a cartoon. Very, very small panels at that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The Dodecahedron, anyway. I put my heel on it. Yeah, Dodeca, that's 20.

Slid out like a banana, like a ball bearing. And I went to catch myself on the coffee table and I felt the sting in my hand. And I'm like, oh man, that's a real weird feeling. I have in my hand. That's a really stale breadcrumb. I pull my hand up and there is not one, not two, but four earrings.

No way. Completely embedded. Four target brand earrings completely embedded into the meat of my hand. So they were set with the, with the, with the little stomps sticking up with the stump, pointy parts sticking up. And I turned and went, is this, do we see? I mean, I can't really get mad because I won an a million shot. I'm glad this didn't go up.

Million shot, Doc. I'm glad it didn't go up my ass, but maybe we could do something in the future about that. Because the four means that two were here from the day before. Yes. Just, you know, I don't know if I have to go to the hospital and get these and movies they leave them in. Yeah, but probably just I assume you just pulled them out.

I'm sure I have some stuff lying around that I could pick up, but I don't know if it has points sticking at the top of it. Probably not. Probably not. You could leave some fish hooks lying around. Hang them. Yeah. Just hang like fishing lines, spider webs, all the other ones. Oh God. Hey, Dick, please let me teach you straight to the point. I started watching a new bonus episode and heard the story about in your nephew, forcibly feeding you his asshole. Okay. Oh wow. I compete in Smash Brothers regularly, and I'm starting to coach people now. I can make it as advanced or as simple as you want. I just hate hearing how bad you are.

I want your asshole nephew to learn not to mess with Uncle. I want you to take down any dickhead that challenges you. Fuck, fuck, after you learn, I'll organize a dickhead tournament and you win 100% free whenever you want. Let me know, that sounds good. I love to just kick the shit. Yeah. So this guy, I mean, because they do have like video game

tournaments, like a legit Smash Brothers player. Wow. So this guy, I mean, cause they do have like video game tournaments, like a legit. Smash Brothers player. Wow. That would be cool. It was like that Simpson's episode when Homer went to the arcade and got real good at that boxing game. Yeah.

For that one, it was a really episode. Okay, let me see here. About Dem and Tifa rioters, you know, Jack, I sure do like you a lot. Uh oh. It's gonna be really bad emailed in. about Dem and Tifa rioters, you know, Dick, I sure do like you a lot. Uh-oh. It's gonna be really bad email then. Some of my politics are antithetical to yours, but I sure do like you.

Your America's id, it is good. Six years. That's a good way of putting it. Yeah. Here's the thing with Antifa, conscientious rioters that you mentioned. I am that exact phenotype you described. What is phenotype? Traits,

no, expressed like a phenotypical, like if you, they used to judge race phenotypically, like, well, by features and now they do it, uh, uh, what a phenotypic and, uh, what, genotyp, uh, fuck, whatever the gene one is, fuck, I'm drawn a blank. Though I'm not in the USA, a LARP, if you will. So allow me to 100% speak for them. This is, I believe a Fedora was being warned during the writing of the female. With no potential for mistranslation

or failed armchair psychiatry, psychiatric, whatsoever. You are correct in that Antifa are attempting to direct the protests. You are correct that they are attempting to focus anger towards particular sources. You are correct, they are coordinated though franchised in cells. Man, there's so much, just lies being spoken

by everybody lately. Really driving me insane. They're both sides. It's like, just shut the fuck up. Antifa's not organized. They got a logo. They have a website. What do you mean it's not organized?

I think Antifa has its roots back to Europe. Yeah. I mean, it's, yeah, sure. You are correct that they are acutely, and then the no white privilege thing drives me insane too. Oh, there's no white privilege. Like, what are you fucking talking about? White privilege is that everybody just decided

we're gonna be locked down, no one did shit. That's what it was. I don't know, like privilege sounds like something extra you're getting. I know it's like a relative thing. It's just like, it's pretty much, like whatever advantages white people have, it should just be like, shouldn't everybody just be treated the same? Like, isn't that kind of the thing? Like, just, I mean, like, I mean, shouldn't see, this is, there's the answer to that is illegal. No, but I mean, it's what I mean is like a cloud,

I mean, it's conversation. No, no, no, but it's No, no, no, but it's pro-treating other people, the same as white people. Yeah, that's what it does. It doesn't end up, the results aren't fair. So all you can do is start the right way. Well, what happens, you know what I mean? That's not how collectivization works. Yeah.

The goal is explicitly death to America in Shala. They are not however being paid. They're being paid. They got clothes. They got those from somewhere, which is why George Soros is so funny to that guy. Instead, they are centralized by shared ideology, shared books, shared idols, shared historical landmarks. They are intent on focusing anger towards the causes of anger, neoliberalism, capitalism.

They see right now as the opportunity to smash status quo, because the status quo is poison. They will do everything in their power to perpetuate and expand the current movement, even if this forbidden coordination is required to do so. They see revolution as the only means to a satisfactory social order because they're right. They tried with elections and they're compromised.

Canada got ousted. Yeah, because you guys... This is going in Antifa. I think so. I mean, it's all... It's because you're going. It's the same as the white supremacists. But it's like too annoying to get any... But you can figure this out very easily. I think most people, I don't

I can. It's, but yeah, this is, I'm sure this is, this seems reasonable to me to like go smash everything up. No, no, to why they would do this. Who would do this? What they're thinking and why they would do this? The guy got replaced by fucking Joe Biden. If you think they're an outside agitator, I'm sorry. They're American, born and raised, biologically and politically. Oh, I know. Communism is based.

Okay. All cops are bastards. Long live the scumbag left. We get to say, and then he has a number of slurs. Come in my ass. Attached is a flaccid dick pick. Pass, pass on that pick. Yeah.

Let's see, do we have time for advice? Five minutes, I think so. Yeah, yeah. Did you read about how George Floyd robbed a pregnant woman? No. Yeah, that's part of his arrest history. No, I haven't loaded gun in a pregnant woman's stomach or something like that. No, I haven't loaded gun in a pregnant woman's stomach or something like that. No, I haven't read anything about like this week.

I've been completely out. It's pointless to read anything about it. But that's the part of that pisses me off too, because then guys are saying like, actually he was a bad guy. No one fucking cares. No, no, it's. Everyone has dealings with the police

that they fucking hate. They're assholes. Why do you not understand? Why do you not just give us that? Right, well, their assholes. And there's a murder in there. And there's a murder in there. They have to do shit work constantly.

And they get shit on by, they get shit on by entitled people who are all assholes. And then fucking violent criminals. That's why their assholes. Cause they still get, cause they, they have to stop violent criminals. And then they get shit on. How often do you think you could get shit on

before throwing an old man into a curb? Probably less, probably fucking less than that. Yeah, again, like, just, did he kill that guy? Did he not kill that guy? And he killed that guy. Yeah, he kill that guy did he not kill that guy and he killed that guy yeah he killed that guy right yeah but is that really is that the is does that really the thing that is is it that one slaying of that guy that's really the problem or is this this gigantic system systemic statistical oppression of so of of of whatever.

Does it just, does it fucking, just fucking, does it maybe exist? Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Can you give them a maybe please? Yeah. I feel like trying to just stop, stop, stop fucking

undercutting both sides. Both of you stop invalidating the other side's premise every single chance. There's no right. Some of the most reasonable things you've said. And months so fucking mind numbing. Yeah, I know. These takes like they're playing a game. Yeah, and they are.

Yeah. Ah. Oh, I think I might have taken up too much time. With their head. Well, you went two minutes. Oh, Davey with you. Dude, dick, my name's David. I'm riding to you, seeking advice.

Once this whole pandemic thing got started, my girlfriend of four years was furloughed, and she works for a department store and shopping mall. Oh, who furloughed her? Yeah, good question. On Friday, she received a voicemail from her employer, fake asking her if she would come fake, asking her if she would come fake, asking her if she would like...

My parentheses fake? Yeah, asking her if she would like to come back to work. I say fake because they mention that if she does not, she will no longer receive unemployment benefits. Okay, so, you gave her her job back? Right, right? Okay. I shit you not when I say that she cried when she got this news.

I mean, I don't want to go back to school, childish cry. Since this phone call, she has been staying at home full time, looking too much into the news and current events to become outraged over, suffering from the feeling of not doing enough, mixed with wanting the world to shut down forever. I don't doubt that's a fairly prevalent thought. Where it's a pretty, people are getting pretty nice fucking paychecks every week.

Yeah. And it's like, well, why should I assume any risk? I'd rather be dead and go back to work. Well, yeah, who was saying at the other week where it really kind of shines a light on just kind of how meaningless a lot of people's lives are? Well you and, but it was some of the answers. Yes, yes, yes, yes, you brought up, yeah, exactly.

I as her counterpart who has been continuing to work since this thing started have not had any privacy to myself outside of work. Not only that, I have to come home. Yeah, that sucks. I know, man. And now as soon as it, just my luck, as soon as schools are allowed to reopen,

fucking summer. I got three more months of, you know, not only that, I have to come home to someone who's been clicking and tapping on a screen. Oh, yeah. And they have a lot to get out. Who has a lot of negative things to talk about while I'm trying to return to my personal nest

to unwind and relax. She jokes to me about wanting, oh buddy, the stay home order to last as long as possible. That's not a joke. No, it's not. Half jokingly, encouraging martial law to take effect. I am trying to do my best to keep my cool and politely listen to what she has now.

You don't have to do both. You can keep your cool, but you don't have to politely listen. You can go, but but but but. I will do one of those things. Yeah, I will do one of those things. I'm gonna, you can eat, I can listen. I'm not gonna keep my cool.

I can keep my cool. Mm-hmm. Call your mom. Call your mom and learn a lesson about how painful it is to have to listen to someone. And then apologize. Apologize. Apologize. Apologize. What she has to say, and I still have to live with her and cannot break up with her in the midst of a pandemic. Don't be foolish, of course you can. It should come as no surprise that when I heard that when she would be returning back to work,

an internal sigh of relief that our dog and I would finally get some peace and quiet while she is away at work again. The dog is on the talk your air off. Every day leading up to her returning to work has led to several unfunny jokes of well will see if they really want me to come back to work and playing that she's willing to take one for the team and continue to stay at home. that she's willing to take one for the team and continue to stay at home. Yeah, she does, like, a fucking retail clerk at a shopping, she works like a team mobile, what the fuck is this? Yeah, she's obviously just shut up and do your job.

Like, she has this outsized fear of going back into the world. It's like, you know, it's just gonna, everybody's just gotta fucking do it at some point. And people who are very, very at risk are just gonna have to continue to take all the precautions that they fucking can. I mean, I get why people don't wanna go back.

Yeah, cause sucks. Yeah. She's probably making more money. She's making more on unemployment than, which really is, you know, like I've been on unemployment like before, like, you know, like I've been on unemployment like before, like, and I've never made anywhere near what, of course you wanna go back to work.

I'm not making anything off of this. This is just like to fucking, you know, stave off, you know, fucking bankruptcy if you go long enough. So when I, let me ask you, when they defund the police, are the police supposed to get better? Is that how that works? They just have to find more creative ways to kill your ass.

Yes, I don't know. You defund you for less of you. You have less police. Yeah. And what does that do exactly to help race relations? Yeah. They have less police where there's no violent crime. Yeah.

Because that's how we got here. Uh, way to go, guys, you're great, you're smart. Uh, I cannot tell you how far up a wall describes me until the last hour is delaying the inevitable because you were so privileged enough to collect unemployment without having to worry about a change in your lifestyle and well-being. There's only a couple more days in which I have to put up with someone staying home full time that isn't a dog. I'm hoping that her going back to work will level things out around the house.

Our viewers differ in many ways when discussing the topic of the pandemic. Basically, I know that the longer we keep things stay at home, the more tempers will flare and the cons will begin to outweigh the pros. She thinks. Familiarity breeds contempt, man. Like it. Spelled pussy here. The cons will begin to outweigh the pussy. He meant to say, she thinks that things will magically work themselves out. The longer and longer we stay in place, failing to realize that we live with a lot of other people who just don't see the things in the way the typical left-leaning Los Angeles do. Just look at how the election was won.

Oh! Anyway, yeah. How long is this fucking anyway? Anyway, I fear that these differences in our world views will begin to reach a tipping point and we might have to part ways. Is there a possible alternative outcome for us? I don't drink, so I can't bury myself in booze. I take edibles, which helps from time to time.

Any wise words would be appreciated. You gotta lay down the law on that talking man. Well, you cannot just let a woman talk all over you. It is, they are not entitled to your attention. That is a rape. Marital rape of attention. This aggression will not stand, man. This is my time.

Fuck you. No, no. This is my no, no place. You've got, it's, yeah. You have to make it clear. You have to make it clear that you need time in silence. There has to be a time. That it's absolutely, you cannot,

you cannot be talked at any time they feel like it. Yeah, everybody has to set those expectations. I'm not just a set of holes on the side of my head for you to dump your emotions, for you to dump your insecurities into. I have certain times, I have certain rules. Here's a new rule. Yeah. If you're talking, something is on my dick. Ha ha ha.

Number one. Okay, no matter, something. If you got time to, if you got time to, oh, here we go. I need a rhyme. I need time to lean, time to clean. If you got time to be. If you got time to be... If you got time to squawk,

you got time for my cock. Yeah, I knew you'd kick that door wide open if I gave you that. My dad listened to my riot coverage, by the way. Diddy. Yeah, he said it was hilarious. He loved it. And I was talking to some people about it last night.

Talking about getting shot, it wasn't really making a big deal about it. I was just talking about how, like, giving a basic overview. Yeah. And this guy goes, you know, you probably, you didn't really get shot. Like, no.

What do you mean? Like, I don't know what to tell you. You got shot with whatever riot, you know, shit that they're, and you know, those are pretty, those are pretty dangerous. Okay. Well, they have different, like, I don't know,

actually probably ricochet off. If you do not bleeding or anything like that, I said no. I probably ricocheted off, so. All right. Okay, what, what is it? Okay. I'm gonna go post a square on Instagram for that.

I'm gonna go call the police for that interaction. Right, right, right. Let me see if, let me see where the vermin is. I'll read another one while we figure this one out. Tricky situation with two hoes from Dino Shark. I don't know if I'm qualified to give advice on this. Hey, Dick, I consider myself to be a somewhat autistic individual.

And I have extremely poor social skills, but was fortunate enough to have lost my virginity when I was around 17 years old during sixth form, like senior high school, but for the UK, I think. But now I've been deprived of sex for four years at the prime of my life, age 21. I'm beginning to feel my virginity grow back. Man, here was something wild. That's called monk status. Monk status? Yeah. Is it really? Yeah.

Here was a law from Britain. You're not a virgin, but it's been so long that, oh, I see. Six and 10, let me get rid of this ad blocker first. Six and 10 Britons have gone without sex during lockdown. And from today, this was a couple days ago, from today, it will be illegal to romp at home with someone from another household. So it's illegal to fuck someone from another house in your own house. Is that, yeah, May 31st.

New regulations ban two people from different households gathering in a private place. Medical experts say the government should be encouraged. They're just upping it. Yes, what if you're screwing for black lives? Oh wow, what about that? That's quite a quandary to conundrum. Regular sex and blah blah blah. Six and tens Britain, seven and sex. The study found that just 40% of UK adults have been sexually active during the coronavirus crisis. Man, people got fucked over with this thing.

High school kids got fucked over. I got fucked over. People trying to get laid, got fucked over. I got fucked over. You're gonna say it again, right? I got fucked over. Right. Did I mention? I got fucked over. I got fucked over. You're gonna say that again, right? I got fucked over. Right. Did I mention?

I got fucked over. So Vermin agreed to and then two months ago. Canceled. Thank you guys. Well, he canceled. When's the last time you talked to them, Riley? There's been a few times where he was waiting on a response response.

I know he talked to them last week. Oh well. I have, however, been successful in drawing the attention of two beautiful girls, my age. Nice, fucking both. A feat that I must give partial credit to you as I can't see myself ever being in this situation had I never come across this podcast

as I've basically been burning through tens of Tinder matches, trial and airing my way through the hordes of hordes and my search for that one who will fuck me. With your own wisdom and knowledge guiding me every step of the way, the situation is precarious, however, as both girls seem to show clear interest. We talk daily, flirt, and have e-dates. God, I'm so glad. I never had one of those fucking Zoom call. How are you doing on your conference call?

Great, how are you doing? Where we take part in video calls and watch movies and other shit. I've basically been doing this almost daily, swapping girls each time. Man, that sounds exhausting. This is a rather strange roller coaster of emotion where I feel pure, lovey-dovey infatuation

for girl number one after our first date, but the next date, I will forget I ever had feelings for her at all, following my date with girl number two. Ah, what a problem. Who I've suddenly fallen madly in love with. Oh, settle down. Ha ha ha ha. Just from hearing her breathe through the shitty microphone in her earphones, yeah man, you need to watch more Nickelodeon.

Yeah, you wanna hear some breathing? Can you fucking turn in for SpongeBob? Eight minutes of that? What the fuck is this shit? Well, it's because of systemic race. I'm gonna fuck on to see plankton get the crabby patties. SpongeBob and have an upper respiratory infection. All cartoons are based on racism. Like the bad guys look bad as shit.

All of the same guys. Well, you're like, yeah, start, well, didn't Gargamel's ugly is fuck and what's to kill you? Didn't Disney teach us, you know, the evil people are ugly and good people, you know. Yeah. Oh, oh, now back to Paw Patrol, where the dumb looking dog is dumb,

the German Shepherd is in charge. They're seeing Paw Patrol, but is that, yeah. Just kill kids cartoons or like that. Yeah, very simple and stereotypical, right? Just for reference, I'm very skinny, 5'6' twink, who rarely gets attention of any kind from girls, so feeling the sudden rush of infatuation over and over again is bizarre. Dope.

On either of these girls, because we're currently under strict lockdown, he didn't tell me how big their tits were. So I've only been able to meet one of them, but in a romantic date environment, I'm waiting to meet them before I make any kind of decision. I only want one girlfriend. Oh, come on, man. It's a buyer's market out there.

I only want one girlfriend. I'm not greedy or gifted enough to manage to it at the same time. What I'm currently stressing over, however, is that I have both girls on social media and the event that things go well with one the other one who I've been flirting with over text the whole time is going to know about it uh... they're both very attractive nice people how do I prevent a worst case scenario

you're not in a relationship with either one of them something a fucking pussy so dating is a bad one someone you're not dating is gonna get pissed people are like this with jobs to What's so someone you're not dating is gonna get pissed? People are like this with jobs too. Uh, job made me an offer, but I don't know. I think I haven't worked in here for a while. Is it okay if I go in this other job?

And if you don't have a fuck about, they probably have 10 guys they're fucking talking to. Yeah, yeah. How else they would be on you every day to listen to the stupid bullshit? Yeah, you gotta get over that kind of stuff when it comes to jobs and things like that, you don't know anybody anything. I mean, if they've treated you well,

but it's like at the end of the day, it's like if you're not gonna pay me what this company is paying me, yeah, I'll see you later. They're both very attractive. All it would take is one status updating at me or one of the girls changing their status to say in a relationship.

Get them the fuck off of social media. Don't stop using this social media shit. It's put too much information out there. Yeah, that's it. Plus, both girls have their pros and cons. You just think that they have pros because this is the beginning of your relationship. And it's hard to pick one.

You're as an absolute sincerity dinoshark. Here's what you gotta do. You got to set up a plan to watch the same movie with both of them at the same time and get the conversation so you can face time with both of them. Save you a lot of time. Face time with both of them at the same time

to make sure they're not doing Zoom calls with other guys while you're watching. And keep the conversation. Do your best to keep the conversation to one thing To keep them having the same conversation be fun be a good time good way to pass the time And stop caring about this shit. Well, it is yeah, he's marriage. No, it's turned dating in marriage. It's not I know it that's kind of a I think that's kind of a young thing too, where you see these events as being much greater and having much, you know, much more importance than they really do.

It's like, yeah, it's just going to lunch. You're not walking down the aisle. Like I mean, that's, but- Having a Zoom call. Yeah, it's, you're worried about somebody who might get upset that you're not in a relationship with. And then just ghost one, just unfriender, and you never, blocker. You never have to deal with her again.

It's the beauty of the computer. The stakes aren't that high, man. All right, we're gonna give vermin another chance. What's going on in there, man? Any response? Unfuckingin believable Cantillion's ass if I heard from Chris recently. No, I haven't Actually, I have but I haven't looked at it

He contacted me a week ago. Yeah, you asking me if I needed to do more if I should if I if I Am okay with keeping my hair long like a girl. Oh, here's Chris's last email for me. But if you want to keep your hair, here we go. You should really get a haircut to make sure the cops don't shoot you for being a black supremacist.

Okay. Yeah. And a little kinda odd. Well, next thing where he's going. But if you want to keep your hair long like a girl, that's okay. At least you'll get to keep your job working at the fudge factory, where guys can use your sideburns as hangers to grip you tight while they pound you. I think he means handles, doesn't he?

Maybe they call them hangers in Australia. I see. And you should really get your estrogen levels checked out blocking and unblocking people like a whoos. He's mad that I blocked him. Right. Right. He said something else about cantilians, but I gotcha. Didn't he want you to broker a deal between those two not long ago or something?

He wanted me to do it. That's what I mean. So, yeah, this is Vermin says Ied them in for Sunday June 7th at noon. All right, fellas. Pencil, that pencil's got a big eraser on it. Pfft. Well then. You know what we need to do to have an honest conversation

about race. We need to do one of those blame charts that I did, like when I messed up on the Ralph Rattort. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Start with systemic racism and then we'll just blame, you do half blame, right? Half blame. Half blame it on the police and the other half falls on.

I, hmm. Ah, shit. I guess I see the problem with this on. I, hmm, ah, shit. I guess I see the problem with this short. Okay, yeah, yeah. Working this scenario. Oh, fuck. Long it is not me. No, I think you're on here.

Probably you are at the other side of that. Damn it. Well, I want to talk to him. He was so hard to get. Still is. Still, still ungetable. Yeah, he's like that you better, you know, tell that fish is in the boat. You know, even the even if you gaff him, there's a chance, right? There's a chance. Let's get eaten by sharks on the way back. This is a Huff Poe

women has a section. Women are sharing candid photos of themselves to send a message to pandemic body shamers. This is a woman wearing a Calvin Klein. I'm surprised they would put their name on this garment. Very, very large of VLW. She's got, there is a bit of an inward curve, I would say. Yeah, yeah. It's a, yes, a little bit.

The meniscus of the fat around the waist of this woman is pushing it. It's about to breach the muffin zone from going to, and only because the rest of her is expanding at such a rate, they're proud of their quarantine bodies. That's what the hashtag is about. They want to send a message to men who are body shaming their quarantine fettness by posting semi-nude pictures

of themselves. It's okay for you not to be proud of everything. There are too many people who are too proud of everything. No, this is a message for you. This picture, and you see this grumpy looking face? Unsubscribe. They're tired of the jokes. They're tired of the women are for once tired of jokes being made at their expense. And they're sending a message to all the pandemic body

shamers out there who are telling them about their corn 15. Oh, yeah, that's pretty funny. Actually, I'm pretty sure this woman was a rail thin three months ago. Right? She must have got these pants, these these draws off of Amazon in a time that it took her to put on all that pound, all that poundage. See what else I got here. You can be as proud of that as you want, but I don't have to find it attractive. That's the inherent flaw in that thinking. Or it's just, it's the loaded way that it's put, like, I'm proud of this. This is beautiful. This is blah, blah, blah. And it's your problem if you find it unattractive. Like, that's on you. It's like, yeah. It's like, yeah.

That's my point. I'm making fun of it with a bunch of other guys. I know it's my problem. Yeah, I'm putting it online. Don't really care, but you know, see, sitting down the wrong circles. Here's another one of when being proud of too much. This is Sky. What is her name?

Sky Wheatley. What the fuck? A gold. A gold coast influencer. I think that means prostitute has revealed she can't tell you the answer to a simple math question. What is going on with that face? I don't know.

She looks like a math plastic surgery. No shit. It's a skill most people learn when they're kids, but Sky Wheatley has admitted she struggles with basic maths at the age of 26. The influencer from the Gold Coast posted a YouTube video where she answered questions from fans. During the 34 minute video,

she opened up about her difficulties with math revealing she couldn't tell you the answer to eight times two. While the revelation has surprised many of fans, she's received an outpouring of support for her real and honest answer. These guys, man, she could have just, you know, she could have just Googled it and no one would have known, but because she's so brave, she's a very hands-on learner.

That's why she can't do eight times, too. She got toes. I can't tell you math's questions for me is like gibberish, actual gibberish. This is eight times two-eighths. Yeah, no, put them together or eight twos. They are more advanced. I love how real together or eight twos. They are who are more advanced. I love how real this is, someone wrote.

Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for your honesty. You're raw and real. Let's keep being yourself. Yeah, despite struggling academically, the guy said she loved school, especially the social experts. Oh, you don't say high school and middle school are super popular.

Thank you for your answer. Like this is what parents should look at and go don't ever fucking be this. Don't ever be one of these people who commends this. Don't, you want nothing to do with this page. This is 100% the way to being a fucking loser. The simping is out of control. Fucking hell.

Online, I follow some of these stupid thoughts just to try to ask them to come into the show. Yeah, sure. And the guys clawing over each other to try to carry their favor is like fucking World War Z. Yeah. Like throwing themselves like, ah damn, what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

Why do you like this? What the hell is in you compelling you to make these posts and these comments? I like your honesty. Desperation or stop. Yeah. It's all fantasy. Like there's in every one of those guys' minds, there's a fantasy that like they could get her,

or they could, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, she'll see like, oh, he's the guy. I think so. Some kind of weird hypnosis they've got. These chicks have them under, or the guy in the case of the guy last week. Well, again, they've even given attributes that they want to her.

You know what I mean? Like honesty instead of just, well she is it. Yeah, well she's a, yeah, she's a different, to every guy out there doing that, she's a different person. Yeah. No two are alike.

Yeah, you're right. Okay, Riley, are we, is it, is vermin out? We've read it. I don't know. Time of death. If he comes in while we're doing voice mails, then he comes in disappointing. That's two flakes from the Vermaster. All right, everybody, this is the Dix show, Pedro.com slash the Dix show, Dix show. Show, um, this song is by MC, MC, I think.

Sean, did you get this email? Uh, I don't think so. Not unless it was this morning. It's the Sean jam. It was this morning. It's really. Yeah. Yeah, it's by Safe State Corrupted.

Uh, well, and... And MCMC? And MCMC. Oh, I know those guys. Look at the fucking size of this email chain they sent. They were both at, uh, yeah, I did not get this. You gotta do, if you're responding, what?

Well, all in emails, you gotta do everybody a favor every once in a while. Look at that. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? I don't know. You gotta refresh her. Yeah, look at all that.

Look at all those indentations. I'm trying to get their names. Say, stay corrupted and, and trace. And MCMC. See you next Tuesday. It's called Sean Jam. I don't wanna coxize you though, Sean. Oh.

Oh, coxizing. Here's the thing. I would love to have kids with you. Oh, no, no, it's all my love for you, Sean. We got all these questions for Herman. I don't think you'll ever hear it on it. I make like a hundred of those noises every episode. Oh The little stats Just a really jokes are too shocking The

I will And break your balls, me, so I'll bring those pieces Pretty well. I know by many days none of them I pick myself Farming as my boy, it has got me Lost real yet as well It's a shame, let this game be so easy For a guy like me The hot shot on your engine, here in everybody's dreams My name is...

You see this daddy? No, it looks pretty! You see this daddy? You see this in 89. Was that an autistic thought? And that's when I punched my girlfriend in the head. Full of singers and show stoppers. Oh God.

Never let the day go on too long. Full of bullshit when I confronted by the tickets for Dean Lee takes grace. And that you don't miss. I wait for you. These pictures of you are wonderful. And you know this. I gave away Larry I'm scared I'm just so You guys

I'm your every time I dash in Let's recharge your ass to hell I can only name star I love him I think myself Falling at my body Has got me too I'm thrilled As well It's a shame That this game Still falling at my voted pass got me too offscreen

As well, it's a shame that this game is so easy for a guy like Nina I shot all your engine here in every night street, my name is... I've been conditioned to like women, don't have hairy pants or hairy pants I really think that's stain on my underwear is a pretty star redeemer. Aha, she'd be looked at. Seriously. What a mess. Chore Nobody leaves, no no no

My liquid myself, falling asleep My body passed, got me to all of a sudden Now they gave me a whole song Yeah Now they give me a whole song Yeah So easy, more guy like me The hot water you're in When you hear it everybody's dreaming My name is Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh

And then you leave town I was waiting for some else Awesome, thank you guys awesome. Yeah, all those guys waiting for vermin Probably why lost the election well fucking show up on time now I'm going to have to go to the next one. I'm going to have to go to the next one. I'm going to have to go to the next one. I'm going to have to go to the next one. I'm going to have to go to the next one. I'm going to have to go to the next one. I'm going to have to go to the next one.

I'm going to have to go to the next one. I'm going to have to go to the next one. I'm going to have to go to the next one. I'm going to have to go to the next one. I'm going to have to go to stay safe during the coronavirus even at that nothing to do with their business is now tripping over themselves to let me know if they stand with the black community but we know that the black community is on one hand. I'm blowing a black guy as I typed this email. This country got taken over by say actual Nazis.

You know, the same company is be shipping over the cells to be like chase bank hate beneath and the cloud and that's is that anyway yeah i'll go for a good bye yeah one tiny switch in the zeitgeist

chaise bank is building more concentration camps god this year than any other bank yeah right we've outfitted america's we've outfitted america with the finest and bank is building more concentration camps. God. This year than any other bank. Yeah, right. We've outfitted America's, we've outfitted America with the finest and you catching technology. Oh, God. Got chase brand nets and stuff like that, you know? Yeah.

Traps, like a box with a stick on it and a dollar. Yeah, no. Jesus Christ. God, I'm sick of the emails. Yeah. During this, the whole Arby's sand during this pandemic, Arby's sandwiches is committed to the lives of black of black pandemics. They do have Ving Rames doing the vios. Do they really? Yeah. We have the meats. Right. That's Ving Rames. Yeah.s. do they really yeah we have the meats right that's being rames yeah uh

uh yelp yelp is committed to black businesses give do they have a do they add a filter on you know for black owned businesses no no why not well I mean I dare you but that would be put a black owned business is only filter on the rest of the, so I can see where, um, we'll see that would actually be an action, right? But they put a big banner on their site that support black owned businesses. Oh, you mean the ones that all the fucking riots destroyed, the ones that all the virus destroyed and then the riots fucking destroyed? Um, I saw someone interview a black guy in the news,

they burned his house down. He's like, yeah, I pretty much just, I got like five fucking kids. All I do is work to build this goddamn, to give him a house and now it's gone. So, but what can you do? I'm just gotta keep on going. Like, yeah, that sucks, man.

That's a lot of fucking people, isn't it? I got you, man. I got you, man. I got you. None of these motherfuckers. None of these motherfuckers are going to help. Arby Zane, Arby Zane, hooking you up with extra horsie sauce. Mm.

See here. OK. Hey, Dix, hey, Sean, Gerald Pauli, D.P. Hey. What makes me a rages? Okay, from the very beginning, when all this protest riots happened, I found out that, you know, some guys or words killed, the very first thing I said is they hit better doctor

that fucking toxicology report to make some kind of excuse otherwise, this shit's going to get way to fuck out of hand. Well, they didn't do it fast enough. First of all, and in second of all, my wife says, hey, you know that he had a mess and it says, he was like, get the fuck out of here. Send me the article. So she sends me the article. It's Forbes, right? And it's saying, the headline is, that's what that was positive for COVID-19. What the fuck? That's not how you quell the riot.

I'm sitting there thinking, I'm so proud of myself because I actually found a real conspiracy theory. It's right. You scroll down and it says, oh yeah, you know, and by the way, he was on methamphetinal Oh my god, this is doctorate as fuck and then for the first time in my life I See a picture of the guy didn't I realize oh he was just on meth like this is the guy that That they're fucking writing and fighting over

Well, it's not when you think that picture stop saying They killed from guy whose role model is Chances are your own mess and or crack you're gonna die at the end so I mean that should be legal well that should be legal that's what makes me really fucking Zanax is legal we're right do you have reason that it's adding two hours to my commute

it's over that's now we've gotten to the bottom of it I want to say that just say that not that I know why my social justice I need to try to work can you spank that yeah he's

bring back slavery I'm gonna double that justice. I need to try to work. Can you spank that? Yeah, he's bring back slavery. I'm going to double that. Jesus Christ. I'm sorry. Yeah, it's always should have protested over that. I'm sorry. I don't know. I don't know.

I'm going to bring in higher and higher than I was. Everybody thought he was going to be. So yeah, fuck it. Do you need to excuse me? Uh, oh, God. It's just undermining, undermining, undermining the worst relationship, the worst relationship

communication strategies and fucking possible, going on in a global scale. Oh, you guys are all writing because of this, because of this fucking methodic. No, they're not. No. You think it's easier? Do you think it's easier for a white person

to go get a Zanax prescription versus, do you think it's as? Do you think it's easier for a white person to go get a Zanax prescription versus, do you think it's as easy for a average white person to go get a Zanax prescription versus average black guy over just going up and picking up a gram weed or a crack or whatever? Do you see what I'm saying? Like the amount that white people self-medicate, that white people self-medicate is probably equal, but probably maybe there's some externalities in a way they get their

fix that have some kind of, that have some kind of fucking consequence, statistically as a whole. Oh no, I think you're 100% right. Go rest all the carons on Xanax. See how that works out for you. Sure. Here we go. And I don't even like being in the position of defending it, defending the fucking that works out for you. Sure. Uh, here we go.

And I don't even like being in the position of defending it, defending the fucking protests. I know you don't. Uh, okay, here we go. Okay, this is a weird rage. I wonder if anyone can identify with this. But what makes me a rage is when someone pretends to be freaked out by something that they're not freaked out by. I don't mean like, I mean,

when I'm in the bottom. You bring up SpongeBob and they pretend to shudder and go, oh, SpongeBob disappeared me out. No, he fucking doesn't. Like, you don't see SpongeBob and your heart rate starts going up and you're not. You're not. You're not.

You're not like SpongeBob. That's just a lie. It's part of your identity like i'm a person who doesn't like spongebob that that's what it is yeah i think he's right i get that same thing when that went like if p.w. Herman gets mentioned someone to go oh p.w. Herman just he's always just creep me out he freaks me out you why is that creeped out by p.w. Herman just always too cool for p.w. Herman so you've learned to say that you've learned to say that.

You've learned to say that he freaks you out because you never, because for some reason p.w. Herman's not funny to you, I guess. Because he really is fucking hilarious. He really is. He's for being. So also people say, oh, Mr. Bean just freaks me out. Fuck you, he makes funny fucking faces.

He's one of the funniest guys on the planet. I can't even look up a picture of Mr. B without laughing out loud at his stupid goddamn face. Also hilarious, Mr. B. Didn't we get fucked out of a Peewee Herman concert? Right, again, I got fucked over by the pandemic. A Peewee Herman concert we were going to canceled right at the beginning. Man, I really got railroaded and I'm not protesting.

I just took it like a man. You want to talk about a guy who he really got railroaded and I'm not protesting. I just took it like a man. You wanna talk about a guy who he really got, Rubens really got a raw deal for many years. Oh yeah. The whole thing was such a fucking big thing and all of a sudden the story, people misremember the story like he was watching like pedophile films or something like that.

It's like no, he was a fucking guy jerking off and an adult he wasn't jerking off or whatever like i mean he's his defense was that they said he was jerking off with the hand he doesn't jerk off with oh look that i didn't know he was a witness that i was jerking off with the hand i don't use to jerk off i mean i'm gonna tell you even if he had that's pretty good defense even if he was yeah right even even if was, it wasn't like all of a sudden it made him like, he's like some kind of sexual predator or something and it just like for years,

he was like, that's everybody remembers that and everybody remembers when like that Richard gear allegedly had a gerbil up his ass. Remember that when we were kids? His fake news made it. Yeah, it was so, yeah. People are really, everybody's like, there's a lot of people going like, what?

Who the fuck's Richard Geer? But now I remember when that P.E. Herman should happen, he was so pissed off because I understood what was happening. Like I understood that he was at a pornote theater. Yeah, I remember that I had those grandma's house. Yeah. What year was it that they had?

They were talking about one of the original like cancel culture victims. Yeah. P.E. Herman theater incident. I mean, it's gotta be like around 90 or 91. 91, that was 11 when it happened. I remember specifically thinking, they're gonna fucking cancel my shit away.

They're like, these fucking moms are gonna fuck me over again. Yeah, he got fucked. I was glad to see him come back and have some, you know, I remember after I hadn't seen him in a long time and then I saw him in the movie Blow with Johnny Depp. Oh yeah, Phoebe was in there. I was like, oh, good, good.

I watched that recently. I had to watch three movies in a row, 80s girls. So let's just stay in bed. All day and watch some movie, put on the first movie and she passes out and put on the fifth element and she passed out before we even get to the future. So I just sat in bed watching movies for the rest of the night. It's not that bad. It's not bad. Is it? Yeah, this is the guy that wrote in you got to get your girlfriend to pass out and then put on movies, just put on sci-fi movies. There is a Xanax prescription. Mash up a Xanax or fentanyl. If you're, I don't know what your race is. If you're white, whatever you can get out of your GP,

grab some Xanis. If you're black, do illegal things to get your fix because that's what we make you do. Because we all, we all, put it in her Kanye, we all self-medicate. Yeah, you know, I mean, almost everybody. It's, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it all self-medicate. Yeah. You know, I mean, almost everybody. It's, yeah, it's fucking sucks. Yeah.

Yeah. If, no, you're, you're right. You're right, but it's, yeah. Some are, you know, you have to get it through illicit means and others, you just, I mean, I know. I go, I, yeah, I know. I have a lot of samples of these, actually. Yeah, take them.

Yeah, take them. We've got a whole industry here to protect you. Oh, cool. How many of this is easy to do everywhere? I don't know. I don't know. But the other half, rather than not lose my job, okay, here we go. Hey, Dick, Stan from Orlando.

So I just saw something really interesting. Maybe the most peak clown world thing I've seen with my own eyes before. A police officer closed a traffic intersection and is directing the hordes of protesters so that they do not get killed and named by the cars and a little looks like a 18 year old short very loud vocal strike girl yelling at the top of her lungs that a die pick all cops are bad and yada yada yada wall pick up

no preventing this you should defund them then because she's walking on the top of the earth see how it works out. You'll love it. We'll bring back the pinker tins. Yeah, also Beverly Hills.

All the 1% will have a private police force. Right. And the rest of you can, I don't know, all go and get raped. You'll really love how society works when you're protesting with zero policemen. Pinkertons, that's a good, good to go. That's a good reference. No more cops, just Pinkerton's. Oh yeah, is there a number for, it's private.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not one of, yeah. We have an app that we use to call them. You put in your customer service number and then they show up and pretty much kick anyone's ass I tell them to. Right. You're going to love privatized police.ize police yeah you got a fucking love it uh... k

you know it's uh... calling a few weeks ago on the u.s. driver who was complain about people ordering stuff during coronavirus i'm aware of what i didn't mention is i deliver and live in the office or my wages yeah now i have to work my ass off while everybody else doesn't have to and now I might get that shit kicked out of me while I'm working. I'm fucking flungy guys that work with

already done being up and well I had to get my talk on my truck on Monday and it wouldn't bother me. Yeah. Okay, sorry. So much. People were the one. They're all for shit day and night. If you're going out protesting, children are going to die. You're going to die. They're out protesting. And

by their own logic, they are going to fucking kill children. And what bothers me even more is because I kind of agree with they are. There are problems with police, but it was your one. These people. One of the police police, but it was just one thing that though, these people, one of the police police, these scene police called on people for taking their kids to the

fucking park. And we're the fuck yourself. I think that's my favorite part of the protest. It just happened immediately afterwards. Like you have police arresting people for going to the fuck, for taking their kids to the park. You got an arresting moms and everybody's the fuck for taking their kids to the park. You got an arresting moms and everybody's like, yeah, good. Fuck that bitch.

We don't take you got to fucking respect the law. You do not go out during this global pandemic. Black meth back a black, uh, black felon gets killed by a cop. One, one black felon gets killed by cop. Everybody out. Get out. What about not going to parks? Never mind.

That didn't never mind that. We're going out. UPS guys. Fucking rip their trucks apart. Oh Jesus. Remember, he might be a patrony. No, I'm impersonating other people. Oh, go.

Okay. Well, it's not his stuff. It's not his truck. Well, we don't want, you know, we don't want them, you know, to get messed up. Right. Right. To get Reginald Denning.

Reginald Denning. Denning, yeah. Yeah. So, all the UPS guys, all the essential guys before, oh yeah. Man, I got Denning the other day. They had to go out and they're told every day they go out, they're gonna die and they're gonna bring a virus home

that's gonna kill their family, right? That was for three months and now they have to go out. It seems that threat has changed. Well, that's the fucking, that's what's so tough about viruses. They're always morphing. You're gonna have to kick the shit out of you. Yeah, they're, it's like, they're very tricky. Oh, man, you gotta always mutating. You gotta go out, because I ordered a bunch of shampoo. I know. You gotta bring me that fucking shampoo man,

that's two day delivery. You got, what about the virus? You better get your ass in that fucking truck. Cause you could be replaced any moment, okay. Now there's a bunch of riders kicking delivery drivers asses and stealing their stuff and kicking them in the head after they're already unconscious on the ground. Uh, no, there's not. There's only peaceful protests about black oppression going on. You bigot. Bring me my shampoo. I'm out of shampoo again because I wanted to, I didn't

want to spend that much and get the big bottle. So I got the little bottle. Bring me my fucking shampoo and shut up. God. And I used it, I jerked off with most of it actually. I wasted a whole bunch, so it went extra fast. That's why I need it so quickly again. This whole time I thought you were talking about a woman. I turned into a guy with me.

It was me literally ordering shampoo. Oh, well. Uh, okay. Hey, dude, what's up, buddy? It's Coach Jake. Hey, so I got a risk for you today. shampoo oh well uh... k a so i don't appreciate it is the uh... blanked in the

of drug driving uh... i think i already talked about it the uh... the drugs against the skin striving along side of the country you know you're, uh, the, you're, you're real breathalyzer rating for when you're, for when you're bad, but, um, the whole thing is that, you know, yes, drug driving is bad in some instances. But I think there's a lot of people in the world who believe, like truly, really believe that if you have a beer, you're going to die as soon as you get behind the fucking wheel.

And I mean, if you want to know what is really, really bad for doing drugs, try to play a fucking game of college, you know, that is all reflexes, you know, I have a system called a strict skill based matchmaking where you're matched up with like the exact perfect people who have the same exact skills as you so it's always this this hard-fucking contested it's a game based purely on reflexes okay all this shit you know the video game free beers and you think you're gonna fucking play and you're not that's how much you reflect as it's low most people on the road are fucking retardant and have the reflexes of a goddamn life.

Well, they're drinking frozen over. They're drinking too. That's the problem. So, I mean, I guess what I'm saying is, uh, yeah, the bucket drinking drive, go find yourself. Okay. I'm not sure that was all thought all the way through, but it was, I mean, I guess I, don't drink a dry.

I guess I agree that there are some people who think if you drink one beer, you're going to get behind the wheel and die. And I agree that that is, that is not true. But I also don't believe any guy who says you just drank one beer. No, no, that's like a joke with cops. Yeah. Like three beers like, I don't know, like, like four or five hours ago. I don't know.

I had a beer for, on my 18th birthday. Yeah. I mean, you don't still think, I don't know. I had a beer for on my 18th birthday. Yeah. I mean, you don't still think that. I don't know, Officer I. I don't know, Officer, I can't imagine why you hate the public when you're constantly being lied to and shit on. Mm. Hey, Dick Hsion.

Hey, I just wanted to say that last color, try and talk about why it's wrong to send someone's only fan to their parents. And I can't be a company time people miss the fucking mark on this. I last call her trying to talk about why it's wrong to send someone to only fan their parents. And I can't really come any time people miss the fucking mark on this. Listen, this is the same as someone sending your porn watching history to your mom, okay? That's it. See ya.

I don't think my mom would open that email. Let me go. I mean, I don't want to. Depends how it was, how it was, you know, positive to you. Oh, she got tricked into opening the show. I mean, you know, probably is not going to say, this is Dick, hi, Dick's mom.

This is Dick Masterson's porn history. Yeah, search history. I don't know about that. I don't know if that's quite the same. Hey, they're calling him with a quick rage today. Missing spoons. I don't know where the fuck they go. We don't have that many spoons, but for some reason that was a spear.

I've gone into the habit of checking rooms for any spoons or dishes left behind. And I'll find one or two more, but then where the fuck are the rest of the spoons? Where the fuck do they go? I need to fucking know. Sometimes we're only left with like three spoons and there's four of us in the house. That's fucking problem. All right, they go fuck yourself, Sean, I love you. I think we've, I think we're missing a knife, a sharp knife. Yeah. Is it still gone? Man, so I got lost at like a party or something could have been dropped down the hill. I know people, you know, you have pretty good sized parties and there's usually some meat to eat

new people are wandering around with plates and people end up down on the fucking on the on the on the rock. It's proud of you down there. Yeah down there the deck down there. Fuck on the yeah could be anywhere. Every fucking I've been dreading this day too. Cause I knew we were gonna, every time I see it and it's short knives, I think, well, it's okay. Those knives are all in the sink. They just, you know, they're still be filled up in no time. They're probably not in the house, though.

The butcher block, you know, that's got a nice knives. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you're missing one. You're like, oh, I saw the dishes were done. I'm like, oh, no, today's not the day. Come on, come on, honey, is this is what I think? Happ. Yeah. Today's the day. Um, you had eight minutes of silence. Nickelodeon. Thanks for jumping on this one, guys. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha can breathing? You can just do a sponge bob. Then we're cutting to a sponge bob episode

where he's kicking the shit out of everybody. He's like, where people are putting their feet through him and going into his brain and shit. Let's explain the nuances of race relations over the last 400 years to children who need, who need, who needs something as simple as don't curse. Yeah.

Explain to them. Right. So fucking dumb. Yeah. Last party, we, did I tell you the last party we had, there was a bunch of trash down the hill. No. I didn't tell you about this.

I don't think so. So there's a bunch of cups and like cigarette packs down the hill. Yeah. I didn't tell you about this. I don't think so. So there's a bunch of cups and like cigarette packs down the hill. I was on the balcony, I looked over and there's all these like all these red cups. Yeah, like who left all that? Who would throw their red cup down the hill? Yeah. Next day I saw, all right, I got to go. The neighbors are going to see this one with like a scumbag. Yeah. Already look bad enough because let me get let me guess there's writing on the cups. Well, ladies.D.'s girl does this thing where she writes everyone's name on the cups. Yeah, so it doesn't get... Oh, I get it.

Yeah, it's pretty standard. I go down there, like, this fucking guy. I bet it was key on. Maybe it was Sean. I'm gonna really lay into them. I picked the first cup up, sure enough, it's me. Got my name. Oh, fuck, well, who's the second cup?

That's gotta be, that's gotta be Randy. I bet it's Randy. It's gonna be one of those fucking pick it up and much squiggly or writing. Yeah, me again. Yeah, I see a trend developing. Okay. Just gonna keep this one and seek it. Right, right. No harm. No, you know, my yard, I could throw my cups wherever I want. You can. I created the problem I solved it. That's what big deal I learned a lesson too about making assumptions about people. Okay. That's the only part of this I don't believe. Alright, everybody see ya, sorry, Vermin didn't show up. Yeah.

Yeah, keep trying, maybe we'll get on, huh? Yeah, see if he wants to come next week. What is his my brain, your brain? That one on the left looks awfully smooth. It's time for your eight minutes of silence. What is this, my brain, your brain? That one on the left looks awfully smooth. It's time for your eight minutes of silence. Then some guy on Reddit resigned and said replace me with a black person.

Did you see that? What, this racist is fuck. Yeah, I mean, that's place me with a black person. Like, are you fucking kidding me? That's what? That's message, are you sending? That's one of those things, there's a lot of things. Fight for my amusements.

There's a lot of things that white people do, or people who are not part of an oppressed or discriminated group, who, let's put it, it was not gay people who got the name of the fairy penguin changed. Remember my little rant on the fairy penguin in Australia? That's it. Yeah. They call them little penguins. And they've like, they talk to you know, the head of a gay organization is like, we don't get upset about that. Shit about that.

Nobody thinks fairy, they think they're tiny. They're like little pigs. They're like little fairies. Like that's the, like, yeah. It's that kind of stuff is insane. Hey, just replace women. White women, right? Well, all the black squares is for fucking white women

on Instagram. Are there a lot of like, are there a lot of, are there a lot of hard ass black guys using Instagram in the hood? I don't know. Or it's just fucking, it's just,

it's these shit bag companies selling their shit bag products to white to dumb white women. It's donut day today. White women get out of your hashtags. Oh, it's Black Slives Matters today. Everything's like, yeah, the National Day. Get your fucking black squares out. Oh, it's it's some somehow miraculously supporting this cause includes taking a fucking picture of yourself and putting it next to some flag that you can decode with your oval teen decoding

cause ring. God you fucking dumb bitches. Annie reminds you. Yeah, I was ripped apart on no vermin. I underestimate how much white and black women are very similar. Huh. How's that, chief? Oh, yeah, he's the guy that's married to Serena Williams. Who? The Reddit CEO that said that.

Oh, I didn't know that. This transcript was pretty chilling. Did you read fentanyl Floyd's dying with dying words? It was fentanyl. No, why? No, I haven't. I haven't read it. It's pretty bad.

Yeah, I'll bet. The begging for his life. I don't even know how long drug stay in your system either. Like if you tested for fentanyl, does that mean he took it? Oh, yeah. I got killed in the daylight. What did he wake, wake and fentanyl, does that mean he took it? Oh, yeah. I got killed in the daylight. What did he wake, wake and fentanyl? Is that a thing now?

I don't know how long. I guess if you're in jail. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, that's what it's fucking for. Fentanyl's nine days. Yeah, it's what I thought. Oh, is it really? Yeah.

So it stays in your, oh no shit. Yeah, I had a... Ah. Did you see that Mexican guy that whipped out a chainsaw and the valley and told all the protesters to fuck off? I saw a little thing about that. I scanning things. Man, nice chainsaw man video. Is that the guy? He got booked. Yeah, he got booked.

We're telling chainsaw protesters, yeah. The funniest part. Yeah, he got book. We're pulling chainsaw protesters. Yeah. The funniest part. Yeah, okay. The funniest part is that they go from protesting the police to immediately screaming someone call the police when a man comes at them with a chainsaw. Yeah. Priorities have shifted from aggression to defense terror. Yeah.

Call the police. Sorry, the police is going to cost you $rible. Call the police. Sorry, the police is gonna cost you $70 to make that call. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With private, they defunded the police. Yeah, we have the Pinkerton's now. It's a down payment of $1,000. And then you work against, whenever you need police services, we'll work that off against your retainer.

Yeah, yeah, it's a retainer. So you charged it up at a grand, we'll send an officer around, we'll send a case worker out to you who will decide if you need an actual officer. Yeah, right. You'll love it. Here he comes.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, seems pretty reasonable. Yeah, is that not legal to do? I mean, I'm not a fucking cop there for you. Don't let the fucking trash and team up all shit people to you. Don't let me find that. Wearing the classic starter Mexican outfit, a long sleeve red shirt that he, I don't know where they got them. My dad probably has 50. Oh, there you go. It's the valley, he said. Yeah.

Guys just right, was that his store or something? I don't know. I mean, it seems like it was. It does seem like it was. It's like it was. Just get the fuck away from my, just stop interrupting. Hey, you guys, you guys just are breaking shit. Wherever you guys are, fucking make a living here. Yeah, it's been a rough one.

It seems like that was his place. I don't know, I gotta look at it, but. All right, everybody, see you next Tuesday. See ya.